#dont prove me wrong actually im sensitive

[acaciapines]

obviously if you’re busy leave this alone but: your tag essay has made me VERY intrigued about Dess and Azzy’s relationship in this AU. Tell me about it?

(also, did you see they did an announcement about Starship Iris season 3? It’s finally gonna happen!)

okay IM HERE TO TALK LOL i will NEVER not talk about this au <3 uhhh under a cut bc. really i should just expect these get super long.

big important note up top: all of this is in! early stages! things are not fully formed and researched yet so please keep that in mind as you read this. ideas might change and will get deeper as i do more work for this au, but since rn im focusing on owl house most of these are my ideas i've had without time to do deeper dives into them.

okay so with asriel i've always sort of written him as this guy who like...has an idea of what is 'normal' in his head, ie, what society wants from people, and what it doesnt want, and he has tried his hardest his entire life to always fit into this box. (think about i know im not well--this is why he's always seen kris as a human. being nonhuman is abnormal and gets you punished in society. to an extent this is also how he views dess being aromantic.)

i think a lot of this comes from fear--asriel IS for sure contorting himself and actively harming himself to stay inside this narrow box of 'normal' (think of this as another sort of prophecy--these are all touching on the same themes). and he applies this same mentality to other people BECAUSE of this fear, because he doesnt want his loved ones to be hurt, to be punished, ostracized, etc by society--which are i wanna be clear VERY MUCH THINGS THAT HAPPEN--but in doing this he sort of just hurts the people he loves. because instead of being someone who rejects these boxes hes like. no we gotta be good and fit into the boxes and then everything will be okay.

so when it comes to dess, dess has always very much Done Her Own Thing, consequences be damned. partly this is who she is, partly this is hashtag undiagnosed and untreated mental illness, the onset of which happens around when shes 18 and everything is going down with the bunker (which is NOT helping at ALL). and so when dess comes back from the bunker asriel does very much go 'oh. shes delusional.' and proceed to be No Help At All.

and like, the thing is dess IS very much having a psychotic break. this bit is very much still in deep research (sidenote: anybody in my audience who has experience w/ these things. feel free to hit me up/dm me lol i'd love to talk through some of my ideas as a sort of preliminary sensitivity read, but of course only do this if you are up to it, no pressure lol bc again we're in early stages) but she has schizoaffective + bipolar disorder. dark worlds dont help with this, asriel SUPER doesnt help with this (he doesnt know her actual disorder--neither of them do, this is the onset of things. but tbf even if he did he Would Not Help asriel is essentially doing everything wrong here.) and what dess needs is literally one single person in her corner but the person who is supposed to be in her corner (azzy) is basically being like 'you are making this up' and shes like im NOT, and everything is all mixed together, terrible, bad, awful, and eventually everything culminates and. we know what happens.

(side note but this is why she and chara work real well together actually--chara gets her when asriel doesnt!!)

asriel never actually like. tells anybody about this though. in his head after its assumed dess and kris have died he sort of just. is like well this proves it. i cant let anybody else i care about go that far EVER AGAIN, because if i was a better friend i would've noticed and i wouldve stopped it and made dess "normal." (yes asriel sucks here. the focus is on the kids but. he's getting an arc. i do promise he will get better but. that doesnt really fix what he's done in the past.)

and all of this is like. it fucking sucks for the people around asriel. in hurting himself he's hurting his loved ones--it pushes dess away, and that relationship is never going to be the same. even when asriel realizes how he fucked up i dont think dess really forgives him. because if asriel had just believed her, or at least even if he didnt actually took her seriously and tried to help, shes like. things wouldve gone differently. and asriel knows this too.

and then when it comes to NOELLE, well. asriel's always been very overprotective of her. terrified the world is going to hurt her. and so when noelle starts experiencing things, things she cant tell if theyre real or not...

she doesnt tell him. she doesnt tell anybody. she keeps it all to herself, and this means its a hell of a lot easier for the player/red soul to manipulate her. and nobody finds out until its too late.

[virgointerlude]

People dont actually listen to black women… PEOPLE DONT i feel so alone with how everyone screams for black girls is so performative bc you disregard us and place stereotypes on us… im sensitive bc of this- i block ppl out bc of this, I stay cutting ppl off bc of this

I just want other black friends bc everyone is wildin… poc solidarity but yall shit on black girls

it jsut makes me so sad- no one is more unintelligent or uninformed then me… but im a black queer women. I feel like im able to illustrate everything into a story, a lesson, a reason! i have so much experience and from that- so many points and topics, but no one listens- i feel like im unable to share how deep i can think.. ive been playing dumb for too long, even tho i can’t find my smart virgo self- ill find her and prove these bitches wrong. this whole time I knew everything- I just acted like I didnt bc I thought you were better, didnt think id have to even act like you were acting up- I guess I just expected you to not fuck it all up

[nahalism]

What would be exemples of way of being performative for other people? I’ve isolated myself for the last few years cause I’ve always felt like I could never truly be myself with other people mostly because I don’t trust anyone or anything except for me (I’m the only thing that has ever remained, I don’t think I could ever like truly trust someone below surface level)

one if the biggest things i learned when it comes to not trusting others is that its often about not trusting ourselves. people will judge us, hurt us, let us down, basically do everything we dont want them to do and fear them doing. but we'll never meet the ones who can prove that wrong if we dont allow ourselves to be open. when you lose the ability to express yourself and your heart because of harmful experiences, the experience wins & you lose in not letting it teach you. dont give it that power. im sure your a beautiful person, thats part of what led you to remain & stand strong for yourself. so trust that the next person to hurt you cant break your confidence in that. they cant take you from you. do the work. love yourself. learn how to assert boundaries (boundaries not barriers!) so that your relationshios w others dont interfere w how you show up for yourself. learn what you do want, what you dont want, and how to let go of what you think you want when its showing you its the opposite. you have what it takes to pick yourself up and put yourself out there again! your effort will not betray you & like florence scovel shinn says a person who is willing to do a thing finds they no longer need to do it. once u come as u are, u will find ur people <3

& as for examples. i was basically a prop. i could never set boundaries in the sense of 'hey this is me this is what i like. this is what i dont like' because i didnt know. my sense of self and comfort stemmed directly from if i was making people around me feel good. if i was, i felt safe and i felt invisible. if i couldnt fix it, id sit in their sadness with them. it was a bad habit but also also a symptom of cptsd. i was also hyper sensitive so would read the ppl around me's emotions and reactions to know which version of myself i could be. so id walk into a room of people, and gauge who was safe, who wasnt, what people wanted, what they didnt want, what they expected or would appreciate from me, and what they wouldnt, and id literally become that very person/thing so that i didnt have to be/feel rejected or have too much focus put on me and what i actually was for fear of being attacked for it, or attacked period. id never do expressive things, even alone in my own house, & i mean basic things like dance or sing or play too loudly for fear of being mocked or spoken badly to and it got so intense id stage 'acting normal' when i was alone cause i thought i was being watched by hidden cameras. i had no autonomy or sense of self. i simply existed to do things that made others feel better & over time i was so fragmented within that i was completely detached from any concept of myself, or my emotions and my needs. my sense of self worth = how i was able to meet the needs of others or the mood of those around me. hope i answered ur question. wishing u strength of heart and mind <3 lots of love

[toxicpineapple]

Right fuck it. Vibrates at a pace to shatter glass. AMAMOTA???? God tier ... how the fuck isn’t it more popular I... anyway you’re spreading the good word of amamota so xx amazing of u for that you’re swag. Excellent vibes. I would rant about it in detail but god damn am I about to pass out 💗 typing this feels like my words are incomprehensible but whatever. Love for your fics and amamota reigns supreme . Excellent. I’m going into a coma stay epic

Send me this off anon you clown I wanna talk to you about them

But GOD!!!! Vibrates at a similar frequency. I'm so hyperfixated right now so admittedly my opinion might be kind of biased but Amamota is SO good. Just. The Dynamic. The two emotionally constipated dumbasses who care so much about everyone other than themselves. The way they could just like, understand each other, and seek refuge in each other when the people around them are too overwhelming or don't get it. I can see Kaito tiring himself out being the hero and going to Rantaro to finally fucking rest, or Rantaro wearing himself down to the bone looking for his sisters and then coming home to sleep while holding/being held by Kaito... effervescent. They're so tender. I think they deserve a fuck ton more recognition than they get. Like damn I know I already said this but the fact that in the Amasaioumota polycule, Amamota is the least popular, is a crime and I'm gonna commit a murder.

[hhjs]

clown emoji

[halfusek]

You:"Stop enjoying your favorite fantasy series, I'm trans and It offends me seeing people enjoying a famous franchise just because the creator Is problematic🥺" Also you:"What? My favorite videogame Is made by problematic developers that harassed their workers and costantly lied to the fanbase? I don't care, I still like it😭"

if you think actively funding anti-trans policies and organisations that affect actual laws and persistently spreading harmful transphobic, antisemitic and racist images AND laying off 50 people for unknown reasons is the same then we have nothing to discuss here

you are free to stop consuming any creator's content, to me it's a matter of what happened and how are they handling it afterwards

with bendy devs it seems like it was just mike being a shitty boss and meatly at worst being idle and also we still dont really know why this happened and nobody seems keen on sharing that so we might never know. but there never were any problematic things in the franchise itself (aside from something vague in the books but it might have been nothing, the book did have sensitivity readers so it must have slipped past them)

with jkr and hp people said thousands of times what was wrong but no, jkr didnt just have a fuck up that she had to learn better from. she knows very well what shes doing and shes sticking by it and let me repeat what shes doing is affecting goddamn laws. and its not just the trans thing either, the new game that came out or whatever not only features antisimetic charicatures and romanticises slavery as it was before but doubles down on those

when im gonna buy batdr, that money isnt going to end up supporting shit like banning gay conversion therapies for being inhumane but keeping the trans ones 😳

i am all in favour of criticising what the bendy developers are doing though, i have been doing that ever since the firings were known and i've been persistent about it, because i think the bendy devs could eventually do better and let's just say karma got them for what they did as well (ill be honest i have no idea what you mean by harassing workers and lying to fanbase tho, the workers have just been laid off).

i think jkr proved that she has no intentions of doing better and what she's doing is actually extremely harmful to entire groups of people

so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that's why i approach those cases differently and like if someone disagrees with me that's fine, people have different ideas of what's unforgivable and what's not, you are free to draw your own conclusions but like just as i have to deal with it if people dont wanna interact with a bendy fan youll have to deal with people not wanting to have anything to do with a harry potter fan, cheers

[heyitsyn]

Prove Me Wrong

M!Reader x Oikawa

a/n: SDKLFJSLDKFJDLSKF OKAY I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED BUT I REALLY INVESTED MY TIME INTO RESEARCHING AND READING FANFICS WITH AN M!READER BC I REALLY DIDNT WANNA GET IT WRONG SO I APOLOGIZE IF I DID SOMETHING WRONG AND I HOPE THIS ANON LIKES IT!!!

anon:

-heres an interesting thought. what about flamboyant oikawa with a cold boyfriend😳😳

YEYYY I FINALLY UPDATED

LETS GET STARTED SHALL WE?

okayokayokay

so in the request above

this is a m!reader

meaning you will be male in this one so hehe yep the story starts now

you are,,,

distant

and cold

but its mainly just because you were,,,

too tired to actually put in the effort of socializing

between bouncing between part-time jobs to care for your siblings and to schoolwork and book club

the mans can only do so much

so you spend most of your time in school just trying to catch up on sleep bc youre too busy studying up all night for exams since yanno

✨gRaDuaATiOn✨

unfortunately for you, your class had the famous manwhore oikawa tooru

why is that a bad thing?

well, imagine just trying to get some shut eye and suddenly, you just hear a bunch of screaming girls and it gets louder the closer the guy approaches your classroom and when he opens it,

the screams become 10x bass boosted

then imagine that with your sensitive hearing

now,,

it does bother you but it wouldnt bother you as much if he told them to leave

BUT NOOOOOO

he decides to let them in and chat with them and flatter them and continue with that bs until the bell rings

even then,

the girls in your class cant help but keep giggling at him and he always whispers in that obnoxious voice and youre just like two seconds away from ripping his tongue out

now

you dont hate him

you just genuinely dislike his way of living

and the way he talks

and the way he acts

yea see?

no hate

theres a difference

then there was that one time that you got so fed up with it that when oikawa settled on his seat and the fangirls circled him like some cult

they started talking to him all at once trying to get his attention

so it was a garbled mess of sounds and you growled, burying your face deeper in your arms because you would snap really really soon

then one girl shrieked when oikawa smiled at her and then you really just let go of all bearings

your chair made a squeak as you shot up, palms slamming against the wooden desk and your eyes glaring straight at them

‘go back to the farm, ya squealing pigs’

DSKFJLSDFKJSDFKDJS SORRY I LOVE TSUMU

this made everyone silent-even the others in the class just minding their own business

they all knew you as the quiet kid who didnt really talk much but those who did were really scared at you and the way you talked to them with such a cold and monotonous voice that they started spreading rumors about you

even absurd ones like your eyes are so cold bc youve killed so many people that you have no life and empathy left

LIKE WHAT THE HECK YOU STRUGGLED TO GET A SPIDER OUT OF YOUR SISTERS ROOM THE OTHER DAY LIKE EXCUSE YOU

but apparently they were just,,, so scared of you that when you finally got done with them and bursted out, the girls started crying

YALL KNOW THE SAYING LIKE HELL HAS STARTED WHEN THE QUIET KID SNAPS

the females run out of the room scared and the others nervously looks at you

your eyes sweeped through the room and each one of them flinched when you made eye contact with them

YES ASSERT OUR DOMINANCE M/N

the only who didnt was oikawa tooru himself

your eyes landed on him and he still had that stupid smug look on his stupidly gorgeous face and you wanted to ki-WAIT NO SLAP it off of him

‘the hell you looking at?’

you grumbled at him and he just merely shook his head with a smile

‘you remind me a chihuahua, m/n-chan. so cute when its angry’

‘HAH?!’

now it isnt a surprise to hear oikawa tooru say that to a boy bc wowza the school loves him so much that hes a bi icon in seijoh and hes such a king like who cares?

but they were surprised to see you turn red, the tips of your ears to the base of your neck were all flushed

‘see? so cute, right, everyone?’

KSDFJLSDKJFS

THE NERVE OF THIS MAN

the class didnt say anything except just put their heads down bc as much as they wanted to agree with oikawa at how suddenly hot you looked, they were too scared that you might plummet their faces to the ground

maybe thats when everyone started noticing you more

again, you were very quiet, you didnt talk much, you just sat there and listened so obviously you didnt really stand out but then that outburst made you more noticeable

you started seeing girls in your class staring at you then blush and look away abashedly

then the guys in your class started greeting you, even people in the hallways

ngl the attention you suddenly got was overwhelming

especially when oikawa seemed to call out to you all the time now

as you were walking down the stairs, hed see you and he’d shout and wave to you

‘m/n-chan! hiii!!!!’

his loud voice would make everyone turn and look at you and you dont do well with public attention so you turn red and you glare at him

‘shut the hell up, idiot. and dont call me by my first name. we’re not friends’

you turned to walk in the classroom but you looked at him again after taking a few steps

there he was

smiling and giggling with those girls

all he does is smile and giggle and shit

its so damn fake that you cant believe everyone fell for it and the worst thing is oikawa’s doing it to get everyone’s acceptance and validication

it was pathetic and disgusting

poor oikawa :(

now on to baby flatttykawa side,

he was kinda hurt by that

like how the heck are you not friends when youve been going to high school for 3 years?

sure, its only been casual greetings and him waving at you when yall made eye contact

but its still something, right?

right?

when you walked back into the classroom, tooru cant help but feel down at the declaration of the lack of friendship you had

his form slouched and his eyes trailed down but the voice of some girl brought him back to where he was and to fix his attitude

‘oikawa-san? are you okay?’

the others muttered in concern with her but they were eased when he raised a peace sign with the signature smile 

‘yep! all good!’

GOD I REALLY CANT STAND IT WHEN HE USES A FACADE TO EVERYONE BUT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BC HES SUCH A STRONG CHARACTER THAT DOESNT BREAK AND HES SO INSECURE AND IT PAINS ME SO MUCH THAT HE FEELS THE NEED TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK EVERYDAY AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

truth be told,

oikawa has always noticed you

not only do you work at the one bakery with his milk bread but you also work at the convenience store that the team sometimes visits

then he also noticed you picking up your brother from the volleyball practice that takeru’s part of and he cant help but frown at the eyebags under your eyes that he always sees

he lies awake at night just thinking how you would look without those eyebags, without the sickly looking complexion, or even just the lack of life in your eyes

then during class, you sat by the window

tooru knows this bc his eyes always fixes itself on you whenever he opens that door and he has to hold in the need to hug you when he sees you sleeping on your desk

others might call you lazy

others might call you a video game all nighter kid

but they dont notice the things you do

the nervous habits hes seen from you at the times that tooru couldnt help but stare

he knew it was creepy to do it

but you were so silent

you blended yourself into the background and you made sure to stay there 

thats why nobody knows anything about you

with good looks like yours and a smart brain (he knew this from mattsun and makki being your students), why exactly were you not known?

maybe thats why it drew you to him

all his life he chased, 

but now hes the one chasing?

tooru knows that your left eyebrow lifts when sensei writes something you dont understands

tooru knows that you like to do sudoku in the convenience store while you worked

tooru knows you eat the same meal during lunch every day from the same lunchbox

and he also knows that your brother talks so highly about you from takeru

the little things your brother brags about like your ability to cook f/f or your weird ability to just assemble something without looking at the instruction manual

he notices and knows all these things about you

things that people never really even bothered to 

oikawa didnt even know he liked you until iwaizumi pointed it out during lunch

the third years liked to go and eat at the rooftop where it was nice and windy

oikawa was sitting and leaned against the tall wire fence, his eyes fixated on you down below on the bench as you ate your lunch

then you accidentally loosened the chopsticks causing your food to slip off

that made oikawa giggle

he was chuckling and giggling that the others noticed him when he suddenly went quiet

‘oi, oikawa’

makki nudged him back to them and tooru flinched before smiling at them

‘hm? so you do notice me!’

iwa glared

‘idiot. of course we do. youre laughing over there like some damn schoolgirl. did one of your fangirls posses you or something? if not, cut it out. its ugly’

oikawa shot him an offended look

‘what?! iwa-chan so mean!’

mattsun took the liberty to peer over the edge to see what he was looking at and smirked

‘eh? were you looking at l/n-sensei?’

oikawa blushed, feeling like he just got caught doing something bad

‘and what about it? im looking at you too, right now, mattsun!’

makki cackled at oikawa’s poor attempt of reasoning

‘i mean, i dont blame you. if issei wasnt here, id definitely get with him’

SEDKLFJSDLFISDKFJ MATTSUHANA YALL :”)

oikawa’s eyes wandered back down to you and he noticed you put the bento box to the side before sneezing

‘gosh, even his sneeze is cute’

he mumbled then jolted when he heard his own words 

iwa sighed

‘what are we going to do with you, shittykawa?’

‘what?! what did i do?!’

iwa’s eyes scrunched and he scrutinized his best friend

‘boke. i feel bad for that kid, doesnt know this stupid idiot likes him’

so thats how oikawa came to terms of it

he thought he was just interested and fascinated with you but he really does like you

and to be honest, he doesnt really want you to know that bc duh, you dont like him so why bother?

baby oiks doesnt interact with you much anymore bc he knows you get uncomfy with attention but he still does look out for you and decides he should just admire from afar

he will live every day just holding his feelings in for you and one day they will disappear

but today just wasnt the day

maybe today was the start of the worst yet the best part of your life

last night was particularly rough as the convenience store you worked in had a drunk person who wanted to fight with you and your manager had to call the police and it was just a mess

to add on to it, midterms were around the corner-like next week- so you were studying up for that

but your sister got sick so you were also trying to take care of her and making sure her fever was going down and her crying ever few hours about her tummy ache didnt allow you to sleep

hehehe single parent working late tingz

ALSO SHE DOESNT HAVE MISS RONA JFC

so yep haha you did NOT get any sleep

so you walked into school that morning, looking tired as hell and mad as hell but you just wanted to sleep bro

the one kid you tutor, matsukawa issei, and his friend who usually tags along, hanamaki takahiro, noticed you dazedly pass them in the hallway and poor dudes felt bad for you

mattsun actually pays you to tutor him bc he knows you need the money while taka preferred to buy you snacks and drinks as compensation

so it was normal that he had an energy drink in his bag that he was going to give you tomorrow during your tutoring day

‘oi! l/n!’

your head perked up at the call of your name and you nodded in greeting at the light brown haired boy

‘hey’

you muttered and mattsun placed his hands on your shoulder to keep you upright

‘oi, l/n, you sure you want to be here? you can go home and we can tell them youre sick or some-’

but you waved your hand

‘nonono todays an important lecture so i cant miss it’

the two guys didnt look convinced but they respected your need to be in school since they too need to be in class for midterms

‘here. at least take this’

makki placed a drink on your hand and you nodded and gave them a small smile

‘thanks’

you mumbled before wandering off

once they saw you at a distance away, makki wrapped an arm around issei to get his attention

‘ya think we should tell oikawa to keep an eye on him? make sure he doesnt keel over and die or somethin?’

mattsun stopped before nodding

‘yea thats a good idea’

SKLFJLSDKJFD NOT MATTSUHANA BEING YOUR PARENTS

oikawa was already in class when you walked in and he cant help but tear his eyes away from the girls to you as you sluggishly walked to your seat

the drop of your bag and the thud of your head meeting the desk made him worried bc you looked worse than usual

his phone buzzed and he checked it to see a message from mattsun

‘keep an eye out for your boyfriend. mightve been working late last night and yanno how he is. just watch out if he faints or something’

okay that made him super worried

totally ignoring what mattsun called you, oikawa knew he needed to talk to you

but these fangirls were the first problem

he shut his phone off and looked up at them with a grin that made them madly blush

‘ladies, class is about to start. oikawa-senpai would hate for you to be marked. so study hard for me, okay?’

like hypnotized cult members, the girls ran to their classrooms and tooru finally had the opportunity to talk to you

he stood up and walked over to your seat

‘m/n-chan’

he called out, looking down at you

‘m/n-chan’

he tried again and was about to put a hand on your shoulder when your hand snatched it

‘dont touch me, oikawa’

you grumbled and tooru furrowed his eyebrows

‘m/n-chan, i just wanted to ask if youre okay’

he whined and you didnt bother to look up but just let go of his hand

‘i was until you came over, idiot’

ouch

tooru was thankful that the teacher came in then and there bc he didnt know how to respond to that

he wanted to brush it off but it hurt him a little

and he knows he shouldnt entertain his crush on you but he couldnt looking at you and watching as you got up to use the bathroom 

as class went on, oikawa was starting to worry

now again, hes no stalker bc his observation skills were just phenomenal due to volleyball

so he noticed that youve been in the bathroom for like 20 minutes now

DONT JUDGE US, OIKAWA. WE’RE JUST TRYING TO PUSH OUT THE BIG PIECE OF-

okay nevermind

anyways

tooru, worried that something happened, raised his hand to go and use the bathroom and the sensei wasnt exactly paying attention so he just let him go

thank god he has long legs bc he was able to reach the bathroom quick and he stifled a shriek when he saw your passed out form inside

‘M/N-CHAN!’

he yelled and he cursed when duh you were alone and who knows how long youve been there

and ew bathroom floors is bleh

you were in no way light but you werent exactly heavy either so he was able to muster up all his strength and hoisted you on his back

tooru’s heart thrummed in his chest and he knew it couldnt be that serious but he cant help but think of the worst

and yep

the nurse just told him that your heartbeat was okay and you were snoring so you mustve been exhausted by the dark circles in your eyes

‘keep an eye on him for me. i have to tend to midoriya over there. the kid broke his arm again and i dont know how’

she grumbled at the end but tooru didnt care as he sat on the chair next to your bed

he sighed before laying his head on the cot by your hand

his eyes settled on your face and how peaceful it looked

gosh, you really were so cute

your personality just sucked ass

constantly telling him to shut up and calling him idiot

hmph

not long after oikawa fell asleep, you woke up and cursed, immediately realizing you fainted and you missed class

as you were going to rub your eye, there was weight on your hand and you looked down to see a head full of brown hair that could only belong to a certain someone

a certain idiot

‘oi. oikawa, wake up’

you shook his head and when he didnt budge, you just pulled your hand from under him making him jump awake

at first, he was confused

looking around like a lost puppy and his eyes bleary

yea it was cute and what about it

then he noticed you sitting up and he smiled

‘you feeling better, m/n-chan?’

he asked, leaning close 

but you placed your hand on his face to push him away

‘yea. and stop leaning so close, idiot’

you grumbled and he whined

‘youre so mean, m/n-chan! i was so worried about you!’

he complained and you rolled your eyes

‘i didnt ask you to be, idiot’

SLDKFJSDLKFJKL M/N IS SO MEAN WHAT THE FAK

oikawa frowned

‘i cant help it. i like you, m/n-chan’

you froze, looking at him with scrunched eyebrows

then you chuckled dryly

‘yea, okay sure. im okay now so you can go to class’

wOW OIKAWA DESERVES BETTER WHAT

tooru was taken aback

‘wh-what? thats it? after i just told you that i liked you?’

you blinked at him

‘what do you want me to say about that, oikawa? how do you want me to react? im not like your fangirls, squealing and shit’

your words cut deep in him and oikawa held your arm

‘no wait a minute. what do you mean by that? do you not believe me?’

‘who the hell believes something that’s fake?’

there was a snip in your tone and oikawa knew you were talking about this facade of his

‘what? i-’

‘you think i believe you? you telling me you like me? do you even know who you are?’

you asked and tooru sniffled, eyes staring at your chest

‘for years, you told people what you wanted them to hear, regardless if you meant them or not. not once have you ever told them no. who the hell accepts chocolates when they dont even like them to begin with?’

at that last part, oikawa snapped up to meet your eyes

‘how did you know’

you rolled your eyes

‘our brothers are friends, idiot. he gave him some of the chocolates you gave to takeru since the brat couldnt eat them all’

oddly, that brought some warmth in tooru’s chest

so he wasnt the only one who knows the stupid stuff

but you continued on your rant

‘for a guy who doesnt like sweet stuff, youve accepted their nasty treats all the time, like why? oh, wait i know why, because you want them to like you. it doesnt matter if-if this-this persona of yours isnt real because as long as they like you, you dont give a fuck. isn’t that true? am i right? because please, prove me wrong’

maybe your dislike for him came out at that tangent and you half expected him to cry but you were surprised when he glared at you with teary eyes

‘i will. ill prove you wrong, m/n, that i do like you and i will make you like me. ill make you like me with the real me. i swear.’

‘mhm. okay. sure, oikawa’

do you regret it?

i mean,,,

kinda?

but not really?

because you loved watching the girls faces fall when oikawa rejected their treats the next day

you were walking to class when you noticed him with his cult by the entrance and you saw him smiling at some girl before gently pushing away a can of cookies

‘gomen. i actually dont like sweets that much anymore. if you want, you can give me milk bread?’

you stopped and oikawa caught your eye and he grinned

you nodded in greeting before continuing to walk

but he noticed a small smile on your face and gosh oikawa sighed like a lovesick fool

it took iwaizumi to finally send him back and his fangirls were looking at him worriedly

‘could you be less obvious, shittykawa?’

rip iwaizumi hajime in episode 546546546 of daily adventures of oikawa tooru

you noticed that oikawa has started to become distant with his fangirls and hes been sticking to you during lunch, leaving behind the others

makki and mattsun looked like proud parents as they peered down over to you flicking oikawa’s forehead and they smiled

‘god, that kid deserves this’

‘hah? that sounds like more of a punishment to me. but i dont care. it takes him off our hands for a while’

IWA I SWEAR HES SO MEAN BUT HE STILL WUVS TOORU SO ITS OKAY

oikawa would pick your brother up and take him home when youre too busy to go get him yourself and sometimes, he even takes your little sister too which causes them to have a mini sleepover and you sleep there too

also, whenever youre working in the convenience store, tooru would buy sandwhiches and a drink just for you so you can eat them while youre on break and not have to waste money and you told himyou dont want him spending money on you but he doesnt wanna hear it

‘i dont want you buying me-’

‘ssshhhh dont. im doing this because i want to and becaus i care for you, m/n-chan’

overtime, 

yea

sure

youve started to like him

youve started looking forward to seeing his stupidly cute face and his stupidly cute giggle

you went to his games and gave him a tight hug when hes about to play as a ritual for good luck and you would open your arms for him wide whenever he wins

then he didnt

against shiratorizawa, you noticed how he was so disappointed

even as you walked home with him, he continued to smile and tell you how good his team played

until you couldnt take it anymore

you pulled him over to some alleyway and you pushed him to the wall

DSKLFJLSDKFJLSDFJ WOW WHAT

oikawa nervously fiddled with his jacket and gave you a shaky smile

‘m/n-chan, what are you-’

‘tell me what youre feeling right here, right now. no bullshit, no lies, tell me everything in that pretty head of yours’

you deadpanned and tooru looked away

‘im fine’

‘are you lying to me, tooru?’

your voice was even but he could tell you were serious

he gulped before taking in a shakey breath

‘im fine. so stop asking about it!’

he exclaimed and you sighed

‘listen, i know its not official yet but you want me to be your boyfriend right?’

tooru flinched before he flushed at the word ‘boyfriend’ 

then he nodded

‘as your boyfriend, you have to lean on me, tooru. i dont want you to hold it to yourself because i wanna be there for you and i want to go through everything with you because i,,,,,’

you stopped and hesitated, debating if you should say it or not

‘because i like you, idiot’

you confessed and swallowed thickly

oikawa met your eye and his eyes watered

‘im so angry! im so disappointed! but i know my team did their 110 percent! we’re just not strong enough! so its not their fault! but ushijima is such a freak and hes too strong and its not fair!’

he complained and he cried loudly

not once in the 3 years of knowing oikawa have you seen him cry and you were so proud of him for being able to trust you enough to show him being vulnerable

you rushed forward held him close to your chest

‘for what it’s worth, you looked so incredibly hot and cute playing’

you whispered and pecked his neck 

of course oikawa couldnt hold his surprise at the feeling of your lips on his neck so he squealed a little

you gigled and continued holding your boyfriend close, even if it was at some nasty alleyway

yall became official and ngl, they didnt see this coming

some nobody dating the grand king oikawa tooru?

what in the wattpad?

yall know that tiktok of like ‘guys you cant dm me anymore. i have a girlfriend now. what else? and i love her’

IF YALL DONT KNOW IM SORRY

but you totally made oikawa tell his fangirls that

YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING?

when yall became official, you actually gained your own little fanclub

maybe its because you gained clout from your boyfriend but they started noticing you and wowza you were hot

before, it was you getting jealous over tooru but now, it was him getting possessive of you

hes such a brat that he sits on your lap before class and youre just all smirking and feeling all good bc your baby is so cute when hes jealous

YOU CANT DISAGREE THAT HE DOESNT RADIATE UKE ENERGY

but all oiks has to do is pull down your collar and expose your purple littered collarbones and they will know who you belong to

theres a reason why iwa-chan is now the kids babysitter

youre still kinda cold and distant to people but youre soft for your baby and you always hold him close when hes in sight and you just cant get enough of him

:’)

also!! 

your sister loves dressing you up and oikawa has his sisters makeup and they both do your makeup and you guys have tea party with the boys and just the cutest domestic stuff

you still call him idiot though

but like affectionately yanno?

and over the years youve turned it down to dummy

and ngl tooru loves it when you call him that

what in the dumbification-

because he knows that equivalent to babe from you and he absolutely just loves you lmao

youre def the more quieter and calmer one in the relationship like you absolutely dont react much

while tooru is the overreactor and hes very animated with his facial expressions and stuff

like the one time

he was cooking some chicken pasta and you cheekily grabbed a piece of chicken and he made a dramatic gasp

‘*le gasp* oikawa m/n how dare steal a piece of chicken!’

you cackled before crossing your arms at the sight ofyour lover with his pursed lips and hands on his hips

‘excuse you. its more of you who’d take my last name’

it was so easy to make him flustered and tooru quickly turned around to tend back to the food but he was really just hiding his red face

‘b-baka. thats not going to happen’

‘not if i do it first’

you shrugged and smirked, wondering if he will fall for it

and as expected with oikawa tooru

‘yea okay sure’

‘i will!’

‘prove me wrong, m/n-chan~’

‘turn around right now’

oikawa rolled his eyes playfully before turning with a smile

‘what are you-*le gasp part 2*’

his hands covered his mouth at the sight of you there in front of him, kneeling on your knee tightly clutching a silver ring between your thumb and index finger

your heart was thrumming in your chest but you gulped and smiled

‘i win. now marry me, dummy’

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry if this sucked booty :((( but i just really like the thought of uke oikawa and just him with a cute boyfriend for a change like please we all know oikawa is a bi king and thats on docosahexaenoic acid

[ijustknowhow]

The moon is in cancer now lol

At some point I need to learn the lesson that if i believe to have control over my reality then so does everyone else...including my bf. I give myself lots of credit to reassure myself that all suffering can lead back to a solution of simply going within to find the solution and every-time a difficult situation comes up I have the power to energetically listen before i set an intention- which will lead to action which will create my reality SO WHEN my bf decides to deflect and tries to change the narrative or tries to make me feel guilty or wrong...I have to knowledge that he is making the same choices i am...hes saying yes to being that person hes painting his reality!!! 

Whenever we get into arguments or tough conversations that hit a soft spot he instantly deflects and tries to shift blame before we’ve even checked in with our feelings or have discussed a solution and IN THE PAST i would hold his hand through the whole thing and calming him down and revalidating myself over and over again to show him we can both be valid but the more i dive into removing blocks i realized I was totally acting from a lack mindset of “ i have to help him understand so he can really tell me how he actually feels which must be only love and care for me” when in reality he already chose his words, his narrative, his tone...i am not being helpful trying to show him how to use his emotions as signal to something deeper rooted...if he wanted to know that he would’v tried harder to learn long ago...i am not attached to the narrative of��“he must love and care for me” anymore and that has shifted my whole perspective 

Now when i see him act over emotional and cruel to me during an argument i just feel sad and a big NO comes into mind...I have worked through so many personal blocks and childhood trauma that NO no one can change the reality that I AM TRYING to create for MYSELF I kinda just wanna look the other way sometimes because im so detached from the stories hes trying to convince himself are real....” why didn't you tell me” “i told you ten times” “well you should've told me again” 

thats NOT my narrative LOL thats his? It took me so long to see how much he comes from fear of being wrong, fear of admitting that hes sensitive, just so much FEAR and LACK Deflecting so much guilt for WHAT to put in the same reality as him. Subconsciously the gears are probably fighting for their life to prove that his ideas are right and his past is true and the code and the ego....ugh like if a stranger on the street was trying to tell me that something is my fault for not reminding them to do it an 11th time instead of just 10x (which is too fucking many to begin with lmao) then i would simply walk away!! but because this is my bf of 5yrs i have an attachment to the narrative ive built in my head about this person...I must hold on to them i must sit through this i must be ok with this...why? what are we afraid fo lsoing? if nothing can really be LOST all these little moments of great truth hmmmmm

People like this really will challenge you to stay in your own vibration and as much as I wanted to cry and scream and be sad that someone was asking me to do MORE and making me feel guilty for not knowing that...it just became so obvious to me that the life goal is just too different....I dont want fear and misery and suffering and attachment I dont want to act from LACK i have enough and there will always be enough for me 

[chlodani]

This is my next smau. It's a Harry Potter smau. Neville X F.!Reader pairing. There's a bit of Fred X F.!Reader pairing in here. There's also Neville X Fred X F.!Reader. Title:A Muggle's Love Story

Trigger warning: Slight swearing! Mentions of sex! Will be mentions of rape! Slight abuse! If you are sensitive to these things read at your own risk!

Y/n was a muggle brought into the world of magic, at a very young age. She didn't know how to handle it. And with her older sister, her guardian being the only one who could take care of her, it proved to be difficult for her with her sister being the Defense Against The Dark Arts professor, and her having to live in the world of magic. She feels a little left out, seeing as both her sisters, her older and her younger, - her twin - are wizards and she is not. But that all disappears when she meets the one person who helped her realize not everything is about that. And it's not all its cracked up to be. Neville was there for her since she was young and they became the best of friends. However, as they got older they realized their feelings were more for each other than they even orginally thought. But what happens when Neville finally has the courage and another man tries to swoop in and take him from her?

End Special Edition Part 18. . .

Part 19 Coming soon. . .

Adelina's P.O.V.

I walked to the spot I've wanted to forget about for years. The spot I knew he'd be. I knew he was waiting for me. And I knew what he wanted to do. I have Minerva looking after Luna. And I have Fred and Neville protecting Y/n. All he has left is me.

"Adelina, - I was hoping you'd show up," Austin spoke out as he walked out from behind a rock.

"You knew I'd be here," I told him trying to keep my cool.

At least at first.

"Yes, only to get revenge on me for what I did to your precious little sister. I would've done it to her twin to, but I couldn't find her -"

"I'd kill you,"

"Ooo, Im so scared, -"

"You should be,"

"Why didnt you tell me about Luna?"

"I never wanted you know,"

"You didnt think I had a right to know about my own daughter. Something we created together through our love,"

"Love?! Please! You raped me! - I knew thats all you wanted from the beginning and because I wouldn't give it to you, - You decided to take it from me! Well, guess what Austin, I've grown since then! I've grown stronger and I know how to protect myself,"

"Let's try it shall we,"

He shot a blast at me from his wand. I quickly blocked it with my own.

"Very nice - Im intrigued,"

"You're also sick,"

"Come on Lina, lets go back to the way things used to be -"

"I'd never want any part of you ever again. And you're never gonna get anywhere near Luna or Y/n ever again!"

"We'll see,"

He shot another blast at me, I once again blocked it. He kept firing them at me. I kept blocking them. I blasted him with one, in a split second where he was just holding his wand, and it was enough to blast him back several feet, making him fall to the ground. I felt proud of that one. However, it wasnt enough to stop him. He quickly shot a blast at me sending me back, making me land on the ground. I tried to catch my breath from the impact of the blast. Out of my blurry vision I saw Severus come out from behind me, standing in between me and Austin.

"Severus what are you doing here?!" I asked him honestly quite irritated that he followed me.

"Making sure you're alright," Severus told me.

I stood to my feet.

"Dont worry, Im fine, - Now leave Severus!" I commaned of him.

"No! - Not until I know your safe!" He told me.

"Im fine! Will you just -"

"Isnt this just precious? -"

Severus and I both looked at Austin.

"Is Severus Snape finally your boyfriend? - After all these years?"

"I'm not her boyfriend," Severus told Austin quickly.

"Oh what a pity, - She used to talk about you all the time. How much she loved you and wanted you. - She talked about how much she wanted you to ask her to the yule ball, but you never did. When you left her in the dark, I was the only one left. - I was clearly better than you. Seeing as I was one of the chosen contestants for the Tri-Wizard Tournament. I asked her and she went with me. Thats when we started dating. - And since its out in the open, I did only want one thing from her, I might've had to force it on her, but I got it. And from that one moment, she got pregnant. And she never bothered to tell me. - I've come for my daughter Adelina, and Im not leaving until I get her,"

"You'll have to go through me first!" I threatened.

"Not a problem," he stated.

Severus shot several blasts at him from his wand. Though Austin just quickly blocked all of them. In one strong blast from his wand, he threw Severus several feet. I wanted to kill him right here and now. In anger I used the crucio spell on him. It brought him down to the ground. I was satisfied as I looked at him. I moved myself back to Severus to make sure he was okay. My one mistake was turning away from him. Though I was alert to him. I quickly turned, blocking another blast.

"If I can't get to my daughter and your sister, I can take away the one man you've always loved, - It'll hurt you more than anything -"

Just as he held up his wand, to use the killing curse on Severus, I panicked. I quickly held up my wand, speaking out the words quickly, but clearly. I walked over to him cautiously, after he had flown back and landed on the ground near the rock. I looked deep into his eyes as he laid there. Is it finally over? Am I rid of him forever? Severus rushed over to me.

"Adelina, are you -"

Before he could finish his question, I threw my arms around him, holding him around his waist as tightly as I could. Severus said nothing he just held me. My heart raced as I felt him place a soft kiss to the top of my head. Tears raced down my cheeks. Severus just held me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked me softly.

"I didnt want you to know, - I was ashamed, - And I was trying to keep anyone else from knowing about him, because I knew it would put their life in danger. That's why I didnt tell anyone about Luna. - I knew it would put them in danger. - I was afraid he would come back, and -"

"You don't have to worry about him now - He's gone Lina - And he won't ever come back - Luna is safe now, and she always will be," Severus said to me reassuringly.

I didnt know what else to say. I let myself relax as he held me, placing another soft kiss to the top of my head.

"Was what he said true? - About you having feelings for me?" He asked me not sure if he wanted to know the true answer.

"Yes Severus -"

I leaned back from him, so I could look into his face.

"It's true, - I've had feelings for you ever since I met you. I was just too afraid to tell you. - I didnt know how you'd react and I was afraid you'd reject me," I finally admitted to him through fear that he would actually reject me.

He was quiet for a moment. I was honestly afraid I made the wrong move just now by admitting my feelings to him. He looked straight into my eyes.

"I love you too Adelina,"

Before I could say anything else, Severus trapped me within his lips. I honestly didn't know how to feel, except calm and at peace. I kissed him back without any hesitation. Now that I have him, - I wont let him go. A smile passed Severus as he leaned back and looked at me. I haven't seen him smile in a long time.

"I think maybe we should go disclose to Albus what happened," Severus told me calmly.

I nodded in agreement.

"I'd also like to go see my sister," I told him.

"Of course," he spoke softly.

We walked back to the castle together. Severus kept an arm around me as we walked. All thoughts of everything rushed around in my head. I know Severus is right about telling Albus about Austin, but all I care about right now is Y/n.

Part 19 coming soon. . .

Taglist:

@cece-lives-here

@saur20

[doctorgerth]

Im so excited about this match ups! I would love to get romantic one! (I actually set alarm clock to dont miss it xD) My name is Veronica. Im 20yo straight girl. I have brown messy hair and green eyes i also have a lot of tattoos and im a bit chubby^^ Im also Artist. :) Im ENTP in MBTI personality test. about my personality: Im kind of sarcastic but i have good sense of humor. Im very loyal to my dearest and im very protecting to the people i love!

Omg, the fact that ppl go that far just to get a request from me is truly baffling! 🥺🥺 Well, I’m glad you were able to get a request in, love! Thank you and I truly hope you enjoy your matches 🥰

Your match is...

Sanji (ENFJ)

Sanji was obviously wooed by you when you two first met despite not knowing anything about you. He shamefully couldn’t prevent the nosebleeds from your beautiful green eyes and curvaceous body. He also never thought about tattoos much before until he met you, but god is he a sucker for them on you! They make you look so bad ass and sexy, he can;t help but to stare at them or to trace them when he’s holding you close. It honestly was nearly impossible for him to even have a conversation with you at first just because he was too awestruck by your beauty. Thankfully, he’s been able to get over himself (at least a little), because getting to know you and falling love with you has been one of the greatest blessings in his life! Unfortunately for him, your sweet personality and loving heart makes you all the more beautiful to him, so the nosebleeds still happen every now and then lol 

You two share a lot of similarities but also bring plenty of differences to the table in order to make the relationship exciting! For starters, you two are both extroverted and enjoy the company of others. This proves beneficial as he comes from a crew (family) that loves to spend lots of time together and have lots of parties! So that gives you the ability to thrive and form relationships with the people who mean the most to him. You two are also extremely creative, you with your art and Sanji with his cooking. He embraces self-expression as he is the biggest fan of all your work! He keeps every piece you make him and hangs them up in his room and kitchen, little reminders of you throughout the day! 

Sanji had to take some time to get accustomed to your sarcasm (even tho he’s pretty sarcastic himself) but he’s just constantly worried about making you happy and doing the right things, so when you’re a little teasing and sarcastic, he has a brief moment of panic that he did something to upset you. But once he finally understands your mannerisms, he’s able to partake in some quips with you. Sanji can get pretty sassy! Being so in love with you, Sanji will convince anyone that you’re the funniest person ever! He is always there to laugh at your jokes and his laugh is always so sweet and genuine, making you get butterflies from making your favorite person laugh so much.

Being worried about loyalty from Sanji is understandable in the first phase of the relationship when you’re just starting to get established. Because we know Sanji loves all the ladies. But, the moment he commits himself to you, he’s so invested in loving you, there’s no time for him to really ogle over anyone else! He still respects the ladies of course and he cares deeply for Nami and Robin, but Veronica is his true love!! And nothing or no one can take him away from you, so there’s no room for questioning his love for you! Sanji is extremely protective of you and he definitely can be a bit smothering at times, but it’s all in good nature. He just doesn’t want anyone or anything to harm the person he loves most. He’s always willing to lay his life down for you, despite your protests. He gets a little pouty if you protect him because he’s just that type to think it’s his job to protect you. But he’s of course thankful every time you do so!

Sanji is a sensitive soul, whether he likes to admit it or not. So there are times when he’s a bit over-emotional and unfortunately, emotionally-driven conversations are not your forte. So it takes some time for you to become more empathetic towards Sanji’s feelings since you’re a bit more logical than he is. Sanji also wants to avoid confrontation with you at all costs. He doesn’t like to think there’s something wrong in the relationship or face the fact that he’s upset with you/vice versa. So sometimes he becomes a little passive and won’t tell you if something’s wrong even though you know something is bothering him. This is usually the only things you’ll argue about, so you gotta make Sanji comfortable with communicating through an argument. Just reaffirm that you’re not going to leave him over a small argument and he’ll become more open!

You two have such big hearts for your loved ones and especially each other, so there’s really no room for doubts throughout your relationship. You two can be the cheesiest and “grossest” couple sometimes, but everyone is just truly jealous of how much love is shared between you two. Sanji makes it very obvious that you’re the one for him, even on your bad days, Sanji chooses to love you and only you, every single day. Having you reciprocate is just a dream come true to him!

Other potential suitors:

Kaku (ENTP) - You make him laugh, and honestly, that’s all it took to make him fall helplessly in love with you. In his work life, genuine joy and humor is hard to come by. But you’re able to break that shell of his and remind him of his better days, the kind of life he wishes he could have with you all the time. You’re the type of girl that really makes him want to settle down, which is something he hasn’t thought much about before! Kaku is also extremely loyal to you and knowing he has someone as equally loyal waiting at home for him just really eases his mind. He trusts you with his life!

Sabo (ENTP) - He adores how easy-going and outgoing you are. Being around you is just so comfortable and enjoyable, even in the most social settings. The loyalty and love you have for your loved ones reminds him so much of his self and he just really appreciates it. Sabo is very intrigued by your sarcasm and honestly he probably beats you in being the more sarcastic person in the relationship. He just appreciates that you two can tease each other and have fun with it. Your relationship with Sabo is very relaxed and amusing!

Coby (ISFJ) - Your caring and protective nature over your loved ones really caught his eye in the beginning. He shares the same kinds of passions and values as you, so it was inevitable for him to fall in love with you. Life is pretty stressful for this Marine, so your easy-going nature always helps him to relax. He doesn’t have to try to be anything he’s not around you, you love and protect him with your life and he’s ever thankful and definitely reciprocates!

[juazz5ever]

“cp” problem in art

i wanted to address this topic a long time ago but never dared to bc of the backlash i might get...

we all know how problematic this topic is in the art community and is still very controversial today... about drawing “cp”. I put it in quote bc i do not label that art as such, simply bc it is not. if i ask: is drawing minors having sex morally wrong ? ppl wouldnt think twice and say yes but let me reword it: how it drawing minors having sex morally wrong ? its not. here’s why (and before anyone tries to shame me, i did live csa and i dont need to prove it)

the reason why art like that would make someone uncomfortable is bc of the character’s “ages” and/or appearances. art is very subjective, so from a style to another, its hard to tell what looks like an adult and what doesnt (look at bnha style its very simple and moe) but also, basing only on the character’s look is just...wrong, petite women dont get to choose to look like this, when someone is dating a petite women, they dont get called a pedo (and if you do, you’re shaming that women.. congrats,, they dont like being treated like a child bc they fucking arent) 

for the character’s age, it would make more sense... but also not. the author get to pick the age, so they can pick whatever they want no matter what the character looks like, so even if they look 10 (bc of their style) they can say they’re 40.. so they get a pass ????? makes no sense. aging up characters is just an excuse for ppl to not be bashed for making such art, but they really dont need to bc.. it doesnt change a thing?? (eg giorno is apparently 15, is rippied as fuck, he joins a mafia gang, kills people, become the fucking boss, and ppl will only shit on artists who make art of him fucking... really ?)

so if the appearance and the age dont explain it, what makes “cp” art “problematic” ? csa/cp is problematic bc not only it involves irl children/minors, there is a difference of power (inequality). that’s the real problem. why do you think we put laws about it and tell teens “dont date ppl too old for you, you dont know what they want from you” is bc one will abuse their power on the other. ppl who live csa are traumatized and will never live the same.. but fictional characters fucking dont. so when you draw two teen having sex or a big age gap, this art is not traumatizing or ruining anyone’s life 

it’s just like murder/violence and all sensitive topics used in medias, in a game you kill ppl and even if its bad, you dont say anything.. why ? bc you know it’s not real, you know it dosent involve real people, bc your brain can do the difference between fiction and reality. while yes fiction does affect reality, art like this doesnt hurt any kid nor send any message that cp is okay

this leads me to my another point, i dont remember the article (and i hope it’s not true bc otherwise, its pretty fucking sad) is the ppl trying to report artists about this, this not only bothers/hides the real cases going on, its actually hurting kids who are actually abused bc they will think you wanna file a false report of rick and morty porn art

also treating that kind of art is trivializing the issue. “actually, the art itself is trivializing the issue” no no, the ppl who treats it as real cp are trivializing it bc you’re telling me that few lines/colours on a screen is the fucking same as a child being traumatized/abused for the rest of their life. yes it’s just a fucking drawing dont compare it to someone’s life/trauma

i know there seems to be a lot of grey areas (and yes there is) but art like shota or very realistic.. well they all get a pass bc, its still just art, but i do admit i dont like shota, at all, but i rather let this pass than real cp. BUT for irl ppl that are minor, what is wrong with you? dont ever portray an irl minor in a sexual way, they are kids/teens and you view them as lewd material, you really need help

also you should never judge someone about that bc for a lot of ppl, art like this is their coping mechanism for their csa/other trauma, and you shaming them doesnt help at all. im not saying all coping mechanism are inherently good, but this one is harmless and you bashing them only makes things worse...

i dont think i pointed out everything about that issue, but im open for other opinions.

ill conclude with that, im not telling people to draw that kind of art, im asking for people to stop cancelling and calling out artist “pedo’ over something so stupid (yall made the word pedo so... trivial) but it’s ok to dislike the art, you can hate it, it’s fine, just dont police around

you gatekeepers are the problem.

[balizardsnakething]

TW DRAMA AND ME ACTING ON MY EMOTIONS CAUSE OF THIS POST 

Granted I did post this after sending her an apology and I’m glad I now have official confirmation that she has seen said apology. The very fact that I have sent an apology means that I had got over the situation and just didn’t care about it anymore. I also tagged @toomanyfamdom because we thought it was ✨funny✨ and have gotten over the situation (unlike some). 

It should also be noted that I haven’t had any contact with Maddy since everything that happened and at least had the decency to send an apology and move on. Also, for the record, I had nothing to do with that list of toxicity. That list was put together and shown to me by my friends. I then continued to FORWARD THE SAME MESSAGE to Maddy because I disagreed with the list. 

Let’s see, shall we? Up first on the list of hell that I had nothing to do with (and disagree with) there is... “inconsiderate of time zones and peoples family life.” This eventually turned out to be accurate, not just for me but for many others. Madison would organise events like DnD games at UNGODLY hours in the morning (because she is in American time zones) and when us British people were unable to turn up she would kick them from the game and then proceed to shame their character for an hour. Granted her uncle did pass (im very sorry for your loss), but that had nothing to do with anything. Many of us (including myself) helped Maddy and were there for her, and I have plenty of messages to prove it. 

ANOTHER thing to do with time is when I was added to one of the greatest Instagram group chats in the world! However, my sleep was abruptly ruined when Maddy group-called the chat at 4am because she wanted to play Minecraft with a friend. Please direct call next time... thanks. 

Whilst on the subject of time family life, one of the most memorable things this girl did was shame me and attack me on one of the discord servers we were both on. What made this even worse was that I had an audition for a London West End theatre school which had the power to change my LIFE. And Maddy knew this and also knew that it was worrying me and that I was extremely stressed about it. You may say ‘oh, it's just a coincidence’. If you believe that please explain why said post tagged everyone and was posted 5 mins before my audition. Maddy knew this would stress me out, I spoke about the audition and my ability to read into things many times before and she knew this would get to me! A lot of the things Maddy did were petty shit, but then again, that’s who she is. 

Next up is... “shows blatant favouritism.” Well, it’s no surprise Maddy has so many friends! But which ones does she actually care about? My friends and I witness this first hand on many occasions, one of which being another DnD game where she was the dungeon master. Maddy made the turn order by (and I quote’, “the order is in who I love the most.” This caused some of us to feel a little uncomfortable, but we continued until Maddy put each character on a path to different destinations and explained which each path was. By the time it got to me, my dyspraxia/dyslexia couldn't hold the information, and I asked Maddy to explain them all again. Maddy agreed and but then ended with, “You just used up you go, Charley.” I was so confused! Apparently, explanations waste a turn??? But this was fine by me until Maddy explained the destinations to another player, but this time, she let them choose where they wanted to go instead of keeping them on the bench, awaiting their turn. Maddy would also allow people to have longer goes/round claiming that there was more to their story. My turn would be around 2mins where someone else would be 5. Again, petty shit which still happens to make people upset. 

Note: It was not just me who felt this way! Many others slid into my dms because they felt upset with how Maddy treated others but not themselves. 

Up next is, “making your best friend feel like shit for making a joke”. Another reminder, this list wasn’t written by me, it was written by my friend who was watching from the outside. And this is very true. I would often make jokes with people about Donald Trump and America because their laws and president (not anymore) were stupid. This always seemed to annoy Maddy and hurt her feelings. I would often make a throwaway comment but end up feeling bad about it because Maddy would leave the call. I always felt like I was walking on thin ice with her because if I said something even remotely controversial, she would not speak to me and leave the call. This really hurt me because I cared about my friends a heck of a lot and never wanted to ruin any relationships with them. I would send countless messages to Maddy, apologising and crying to her, telling her not to be mad at me. THAT 👏🏻 IS 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 TOXIC 👏🏻 RELATIONSHIP 👏🏻 One joke shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all of a friendship,, but that is what It always felt like! Also, Maddy never specified it was a trigger until recently, and even after she did say it was a trigger, I held back so she could feel comfortable. 

The final thing is: “made you feel bad for your emotions.” Madison needs to learn that EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and that people deal with things in different ways. Not everyone is smart, sensitive or skinny like she is. Whenever anyone hurt my friends, I would lash out and act upon my emotions because I didn’t know what else to do. This is something Maddy heavily criticised me for and something that eventually resulted in me listening to high-frequency sounds so I could get rid of my emotions and feel numb. My logic was that I didn’t want to hurt anyone ever again by jumping the gun and acting upon emotion. But thanks to others, I was pulled out of that loop, and I’ve learnt to use logic and reason as well as emotion. 

As for “breaking my heart”. Yes. Our friendship ending did hurt me, a lot. Just like everything with you, it is very one-sided. I was reaching out, listening and trying to help Maddy repair relationships with people whom she’d hurt. We both said equally bad things which made the ‘relationship’ toxic, and I would just like to point out that the name, ‘evil Maddy’ is cringe and I’m ashamed I was ever friends with you considering you used that in a callout post. /hj

---------------

Sarcasm aside, ima be real here because I am not afraid to tell my side of the story. So, @ thenameisnoone / Maddy. Here is a long-ass response to the post you made about me. xx

Look, I’m not going to call you out or use Politics_notmything to cancel you because I’m not like that. I’m an actual good person who really tried with Maddy and dis my best to change myself to make her feel comfortable. I left a group chat with all my friends for a week and blamed it on ‘family issues’ because I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I made an entire Birthday PowerPoint for her, which included some of my best and favourite bootlegs. I made a genuine effort, but Maddy didn't really do anything else but tell me to “calm down” or “not throw everything away and give in to anger or despair and calm down until you can think rationally and make a logical decision”. 

And I’m glad I actually saw this because this is a classic Maddy move. She argues with people, builds up a situation then removes/blocks them, so they cant see everything she’s saying about them (i have proof of this from a server im in.) It has happened before, and she manipulated people into believing her side of the story. 

“I am allowed to block people who lie to me about serious topics even though they have trust issues which makes them unable, to tell the truth, if it hurts them. I am allowed to talk to people who blow up on me before hearing my side of things where they would have realised what they thought is wrong even though I dont get back to people until 3am and decide to leave them on delivered/read for days at a time when I am happily talking in other servers. I am allowed to block people who accuse me of shit-talking them with my friends who I introduced them to (and I never do that) when I have only defended them and said friends genuinely were being nice to them even if they have proof. I am allowed to block people. Period.” - Maddy 

And I’m not saying Maddy isn't allowed to block people. It’s a free world. Im just defending myself :) 

Granted, Maddy did defend me and say that this situation shouldn’t change anyone opinions on me, and I can say the same. Just because I had a terrible experience with Maddy, doesn’t mean she is a bad person and I encourage anyone online who loves women’s’ history and WATT to befriend her. 

But being honest, she did also call me a bitch on a Tumblr callout post, so I had to come and write this all down for safekeeping and reblogging purposes. Im not a bitch, and that is why I’m not using my following to cancel her. But anyway,  we both had some shit experiences with each other so you can read this and make up your own mind even though I did back her up with the previous call-out post, sent her my support, apologised and didn’t block her when she was at a bad time in her life or when she needed help. If anyone has a problem with me posting this, please contact me via DM. 

Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said. I’m just tired of your petty shit.

[edge-lorde]

hp update: its ur favorite tumblr user back at it again with another great post. thats right, as promised here is a more in depth look at the recent dragon themed time sensitive event!

this event takes place in year 6. bill is graduated but has been coming back to the school periodically to teach us bootleg DADA just like harry did in the books. it is on one such occasion that bill lets it slip that his next job from gringotts involves him going to the dragon reserve that we know charlie will eventually work at. bill had not told charlie about this job prior to this discussion precisely because of what happens next, which is that charlie wants to go.

this brings me back to year 4 days with the first charlie focused sidequest, where we scrounged up money to by what may or may not have been a dragon egg (it was not) from a strange man who had been seen trying to approach other unaccompanied minors walking around hogsmeade. this pure of dragon centric heart, but dumb of dragon centric ass quality was what made me start liking charlies character in the game in the first place. he begins negging his older brother in a way that is very familiar to me as a younger sibling. i as the mc of course jump on the bandwagon with charlie immediately. 

bill sounds very defeated in this part because he knows the negging wont end, and/or knows that he will eventually cave to charlies demands. “no you cant come.” he says with a sigh.

but well see about that, because charlie and i go ambush bill at work to ask again. 

as stated previously bill works at gringotts bank, which is run by goblins. i already had access to the location diagon alley, but before this event gringotts itself was closed to me. newly unlocked, charlie and i walk inside. unlike the hogwarts kitchens, it does not feel like walking into hell for me to do this. unlike house elves which only have 1 basic model used for every elf except for the 1 named elf, there is some variety in the goblin designs. there appears to be one basic goblin face that i can tell, but its paired with several different outfits and hairstyles, giving them the illusion of originality typically spent on unnamed background characters. there are also 3 named goblin characters with all their own stuff.  

the first is obviously griphook, the only real goblin character from the books. hes bills supervisor. in the books hes a pretty unlikable guy but here, though hes not nice exactly, he seems at least kind of chill. he doesnt kick charlie or me out for barging in and says its ok for us go on the mission with bill. its nice to see him unstressed. 

the other 2 goblins are the perhaps, hopefully, cool ones. one is younger than the rest and has some friendly dialog with you and his other named goblin friend, who possibly exists so the first one has someone to banter with. they dont do anything else this event but gringotts stays open after the event is completed so hopefully they will come back again and get their own plotlines. 

anyway, charlie and i harass bill at work for a bit. his boss comes in, hears our plea, and doesnt immediately tell us to leave.  instead he tells us the rundown of bills mission: a long time ago a goblin boasted that he could craft a golden dragon egg that would be indistinguishable from the real thing. he did, and it was. so much so that a dragon destroyed his house and stole it, i think he died in the process. 

“so,” says griphook, “that is why we must send you, 18 year old we just hired, to go to a remote location filled with dragons by yourself to rifle through their nests and bring back what is rightfully ours. no we dont know which dragon took the egg or even the type. yes you can bring your little brother and his friends.” 

sounds legit. charlie and i convince bill to not only let us come with him, but also our other classmates from his DADA class due to scheduling mishaps. we go gather the rest of the class to tell them about this but only merula, penny, and barnaby show up and so only they get to go on the field trip, which is convenient because otherwise wed have half the school out there and that would be entirely too many characters for the devs to write at once. 

we borrow the same tent the canon characters will eventually use in all their camping shenanigans in the book from hagrid and get to the dragon reserve via portkey. the reserve now appears on the stairs screen as a permanent new location, not a fleeting one as i once thought. theres dragons flying all around, majestic as hell. 

its too late in the day to start searching so we set up camp and settle in, roast marshmallows, barnaby tells a story about a vampire broomstick. then we go inside the tent and play truth or dare. im asked to pick at one point which of my friends id most like to have with me if i were to get lost in the woods. i pick barnaby because hes the one who asked, but really id probably want merula there more. barnaby is supposed to be into dueling but ive never seen him in a real fight. ive seen merula take a Cruciatus curse and then get up and walk. pennys whole thing is potions too. i thought this choice would be relevant to something in the event but it was not. 

in the truth or dare game, merula gets bill to tell some embarrassing stories about charlie as a kid. he talks about charlie putting wings on their rat and a dragon mask on their owl, pretending that they are real dragons. everyone laughs.  this his a cord with charlie though and he storms out. we wrap up truth or dare and go to bed. 

the next day we begin the search.charlie has not come back yet. we realize this and begin freaking out, start looking for him instead. we scare a mother dragon off its nest for unfathomable reasons. eventually we hear charlies voice coming from inside a cave. we go in, charlie is alive and uneaten, but has a broken leg. he ran off to find the egg by himself in order to prove himself as teen boys are wont to do. bill and i then realize the other 3 didnt follow us into the cave, and a big ol dragon walks in. i gotta fight it singlehandedly while bill heals charlie in the back. 

the boss fight was actually pretty hard. it took me like 5-6 tries to beat the dang thing thing. much enjoyment many high stakes. i put a sleeping spell on it to stop its attack at the end, though i had the option to use the Cruciatus curse which seems a little intense, game. then the other 3 run in and are like cool your safe! sorry we couldnt help u fight the dragon, there was a dragon. im like “yes, understandable.”

bill had given up on finding the egg at this point, but then charlie finds it! its a gold egg. in retrospect this egg might have been the egg that will inspire the gold egg stealing challenge in hp book 4 but i forget if that was inspired by a story or not. 

then we have a cool down level with bill and charlie, where they both apologize, and charlie says what he did was stupid, but i insist its wasnt stupid it was cool and good even though that is factually wrong because thats what i would say in real life regardless. bill and charlie promise to never speak of this trip again, especially not to their mom. 

the last level is us going back to gringotts and regaling griphook with the tale of our journey, including the marshmallow and truth or dare bits. he says “great job, teens!” and then we all jump up in the air and the theme song plays as we freeze midair and the colors fade to black and white. we all learned some valuable dragon based lessons today friends. it took me 2 full hours to write this and i have to wake up at 6 tomorrow. 

[fairycosmos]

does being good at math mean you are smart? sometimes i think im smart because of that but other times i think i am a complete moron. I don’t know what to believe. I cannot trust my own mind. how is what i think valid or credible in any shape or form. this just gives me so much anxiety, that i cannot even trust that my own thoughts are objective enough, i just have to accept that they are even when i know i will never be certain of the truth. what is your take on this?

hey bro i think……there are a million different ways to be smart, for real. and i know we’re raised in an educational system that has ruined learning by imposing grades and inducing anxiety to stress young ppl into producing the ‘results’ they need, but i’d suggest trying to take a step back from those toxic/unnecessary  ideas when possible….. being good at maths is great, as it shows a strong capability to problem solve and compartmentalize. but it’d be ok if you weren’t. it wouldn’t mean anything about who you are. look, there’s emotional intelligence, creative intelligence, existential intelligence, interpersonal intelligence…..and so much more beyond that. to me, this sounds like an issue with your confidence and your self perception more than anything else. it seems like you don’t think you deserve to be listened to unless you’re 100% right about everything, which isn’t possible for anyone. like i said before, this anxiety is ingrained into us from a young age, but i think it’d be more effective to try and tackle that, rather than trying not to fuck up 24/7 and berating yourself when you do :( because that just leads to a cycle of self hatred and emotional turmoil. you really deserve better than that, dont you think? ik this is a stressful idea, but i’d really recommend talking to a counselor or a professional about this if it’s having an impact on your mental well being.  maybe someone at school, or your doctor/parents could refer you to a service in your community? you need to learn how to let yourself be, how to identify self hating thoughts that are only there because you’ve been taught for so long that these are the standards you must meet. once you start challenging them, and implementing healthy coping mechanisms to deal with the anxiety when you feel like you’ve made a mistake, then you’ll notice a massive difference…..just takes time and concentrated effort. i get that it’s a lot to think about, but please dont write it off completely. it’s alright to talk about this sort of thing, and biting the bullet and going for it is the scariest part. you’re not alone. look, you’re a human, so of course you’re going to act like one. i think most ppl have moments where they think they’re the dumbest person on the planet, especially when we’re young. it’s humbling, it’s how we grow and learn right from wrong. if you thought you were smart all the time, your ignorance would probably prevent you from actually being so. if you think you’re dumb all the time, your sensitivity and inaccurate self judgement is probably warping your reality a little. the majority fall somewhere in the middle, in my experience. also, sure there’s an objective truth, but it will always be slightly marred by your own perception when it comes to your own life, it’s like that for everyone. we don’t all register things in an identical manner, even if we’re looking at the same thing. and that doesn’t mean anyones an idiot, it’s a matter of our individual brains working uniquely as they should. honestly seems like reality is a lot less defined than we’re led to believe. so it’s a GOOD thing to question what you think you know bc that means you’re open to learning more and changing your view point as you gather new info, which is to me a sign that you’re hungry for knowledge. you dont have to be certain of anything, really. you just have to try your best. if you fall flat on your face, you will survive it. you will get up knowing better. but anyway above all, i think it’s important to know that your existence and worth as human being truly doesn’t hinge on whether or not you can prove yourself through being the smartest person in the room. i understand striving for a certain academic caliber, and to an extent it’s not an unhealthy goal, but imo it’s better to prioritize being the best type of person you can be. there are likely so many wonderful attributes about yourself that you don’t even see because you’re so stressed abt what you’re bringing to the table on an intellectual level. but the ppl that love you and the ppl that will love you in the future don’t see that alone when they look at you, you know? goddd this got long sorry, but i understand being insecure abt this sort of issue. it occupies a lot of my mind, too. and i’m shit at maths lmfao! but yeah dude, you’re not what you think you are and you don’t have to be so afraid. it may take months or years to really learn or internalize that, and that’s alright. getting to a place where you’re comfortable in your own skin is a long process for most. but you’re on the right path if you’re trying every day to be a bit more gentle with yourself, even when you feel dumb. if you want to talk more abt this i’ll be here, but until then please take care and feel free to put down this weight you’re carrying, even just sometimes, even just to rest.

[somnilogical]

transfem protestors released info that moved 350000$ of donations from miri. because miri is an evil org, they decided to lie about why they think it happened and say its really confusing. i know the answer to this ~mystery~, i know why this year was different; i can talk about it in public, they cant. cuz im freeee from CDT PR. i can decide to lazily choose an algorithm that optimizes utility in multiverse, not just institute whatever choice seems to give most utility "going forward".

<<Our fundraiser fell well short of our $1M target this year, and also short of our in-fundraiser support in 2018 ($947k) and 2017 ($2.5M). It’s plausible that some of the following (non-mutually-exclusive) factors may have contributed to this, though we don’t know the relative strength of these factors:>>

https://web.archive.org/web/20200214061634/https://intelligence.org/2020/02/13/our-2019-fundraiser-review/

they then go on to list eight pretty thin excuses. you know perfectly well why this year is different from all other years, MIRI. your ""speculations"" are fake.

a small group of transfems moved ~350,000$ from your ineffective charity.

i suppose eight of these factors also account for why CFAR extended their fundraiser 5 days longer than announced after donations were super low?

or maybe there is a more compact generator for both of these events: whistleblowers protested what you have been doing releasing lots of marginal information and donors saw this.

i know why this year is different, you know why this year is different. Colm Ó Riain you are facilitating MIRI lying, hoping that if one doesnt mention something, people wont pay attention to it.

like lying in such a way that you wouldnt be held legally culpable, because you could say in front of a court with low schelling reach "you cant prove what i was thinking". except i dont care about legal culpability, i care about causal entanglement. you heard about the protests (or, much less likely, were kept from hearing about these protests somehow by a distributed version of this algorithm set one personstep back), you have > 1/100 intelligence. your omission of this is deception.

is <<In past years, when answering supporters' questions about the discount rate on their potential donations to MIRI, we've leaned towards a "now later" approach. This plausibly resulted in a front-loading of some donations in 2017 and 2018.>> really more plausible than "there was an entire protest against MIRI and CFAR's support of UFAI. people reacted strongly to this, it shows up in the donations.¹"?

it would have come up on a list that scrapes the bottom of the barrel for plausible causes in a counterfactual world in which you werent optimizing for good PR. an AU in which you were searching for and publicising how things were causally entangled.

--

¹see, for instance, the Patrick LaVictoire who had aggregate donations of:

25,885$ november 26 2018

35,885$ august 29 2019

117,199$ february 14 2020

giving diffs of 10,000$ and 81,314$ to estimate 2018 and 2019 donation periods. iirc at some point the diff was 81,000$, id guess at some point afterwards they donated \floor{100π}$. https://web.archive.org/web/20200601000000*/https://intelligence.org/topcontributors/

and then went on to do the standard antitransfem thing calling ziz a "gross uncle" style abuser who just wants status like brent.

https://pastebin.com/TUZ7EThz

with their evidence being someone kaj said it, and kaj's evidence being that ziz said:

<<> I asked Person A if they expected me to be net negative. They said yes. After a moment, they asked me what I was feeling or something like that. I said something like, “dazed” and “sad”. They asked why sad. I said I might leave the field as a consequence and maybe something else. I said I needed time to process or think. I basically slept the rest of the day, way more than 9 hrs, and woke up the next day knowing what I’d do. [...]

> In the case that I’d be net negative like I feared, I was considering suicide in some sense preferable to all this, because it was better causal isolation. However, despite thinking I didn’t really believe in applications of timeless decision theory between humans, I was considering myself maybe timelessly obligated to not commit suicide afterward. Because of the possibility that I could prevent Person A and their peers from making the correct decision for sentimental reasons. [...]

> I was very uncomfortable sharing this stuff. But I saw it as a weighing on the scales of my personal privacy vs some impact on the fate of the world. So I did anyway. [...]

> I tried to inner sim and answer the question. But my simulated self sort of rebelled. Misuse of last judge powers. Like, I would be aware I was being “watched”, intruded upon. Like by turning that place into a test with dubious methodology of whether I was really a delusional man upon which my entire life depended, I was having the idea of Heaven taken from me. [...]

> I made myself come up with the answer in a split second. More accuracy that way. Part of me resisted answering. Something was seriously wrong with this. No. I already decided for reasons that are unaffected. that producing accurate information for person A was positive in expectation.>>

which doesnt sound at all like brent or other people ive encountered who were chronically angsty about status.

--

im going to write more about this and others in another post but like okay:

[1] ppl with high current or natal testosterone (centrally but not exclusively cis men) keep doing this thing where they mind-project that everyone else has the same degree of status sensitivity and unreflecticity upon it as them when actually this is hormonally mediated.

ziz has a natally & currently estrodized brain and from my observations doesnt have that submodule testosteronized. people with PCOS like ilzo have mentioned that they had masculinized status sensitivity modules, lex somni and some cis guy all tried increasing testosterone and noticed status-sensitivity went up, without looking for this effect in the first place. there are papers on it. your experiences are not universal.

[2] but also this isnt really a "belief", its a coordination mechanism. in the same way "its in black peoples nature to be servile" was a coordination mechanism for slavery rather than a "belief". humans actually can use evidence efficiently and see, for instance, in the antebellum south that black people were human just the same as anyone else. but the local social positionality and what they valued made it more advantageous to verbally report otherwise.

similarly for any minority. "*phobia" is the wrong word, its not fear its a schelling coordination mechanism that humans can expect most of society to have their backs on when bad times happen. which tracks what social justice theorists mean by this stuff being "structural". its not about some emotion of hatred or fear against the specific phenotype of "black skin" or "gender divergence" its about what humans can coordinate against.

hence the use of "antitransfem" instead of "transphobia", i picked this up from ziz and gwen and later noticed it mirroring the form of "antiblack". i wonder if antiblack was coined after encountering a similar issue.

[3] you parted with a marginal 71,000$ (compared to what id expect in a counterfactual world without a protest given your lifetime donation total was 35,885$ and you donated 10,000$ last year.) to protect a UFAI org. is this not an amazing amount of "subservience" to MIRI? anarchotransfems getting together to protest the present omnicide isnt "subservience". the transfems protesting against google being evil werent "subservient", but the employees at google who fired them out were.

its amusing watching this one narrative being tiled everywhere, but with different targets. the authoritarians did the same thing to emma goldman. ▘▕▜▋ says emma and somni are haxing a clueless ziz to "bully" people, linta said somni was infohazardously corrupting people, CFAR affiliates say ziz was 'whipping people into a frenzy' and 'demanding subservience' from them. im going to write a post about this.

[blookmallow]

aaaand goodbye teruteru

------

the what now 

I GOT STUCK HERE FOR SO FUCKING LONG BC THEY GIVE YOU THIS. PILE OF INCOMPREHENSIBLE INSTRUCTIONS AND THEN NONE OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE

in dr1 they had a similar mechanic where you had to hit the buttons at the right tempo to knock out their statements, which was also confusing but i was starting to get decently good at it by the end of the game, but in this one the timing is TOTALLY OFF and i kept missing every single one and couldn’t figure out why, then realized it worked sometimes if i held down the button instead of just clicking it like you do in dr1 (which they didn’t explain!!! in this one!!!) but eventually figured out if i just like. double clicked on the beat i could break them for some reason. i dont know why. it works and i cannot explain how 

but then at the end when you reach the final strike, you have to put together a phrase out of four words to refute “where could the weapon have been?” and i was CONVINCED it was “On The Meat Bone” (even though technically it was hidden In the bone i guess) and i didnt realize i had the phrase wrong and thought i just wasn’t hitting it correctly for some reason so i failed this like 6 times before i finally realized it was MEAT ON THE BONE 

i understand owari’s not the type to give a shit probably but do you really wanna eat meat off of the skewer that was very recently repeatedly stabbed into a guy’s abdomen 

even if he cleaned it off before he put it back thats still like, fucked up lmao 

monokuma took care of it though i guess :’ ) 

kind of alarming that he’s capable of eating now, but 

THANK YOU NANAMI 

,,,,ok

I WILL SAY that the final closing sequence is WAY better in sdr2, it’s way way clearer what you’re looking for, the blanks give you hints as to what might go there, the picture options give you descriptions of what you’re looking at (frequently i know exactly what im trying to explain but cant figure out which picture goes where bc they’re just. incomprehensible out of context) and THEY FINALLY FIXED THE SCROLL THING :’) 

i dont know if its just broken as hell with a laptop trackpad and maybe it works with a mouse (or maybe it’s just not designed for pc in the first place, this was originally. ps vita or something i think) but the scroll sensitivity was SO broken in dr1 i spent most of my time just trying desperately to scroll to the thing i needed without scrolling past it 

i still have that problem when im trying to pick which truth bullet to fire but thats not As bad as this part was in dr1 at least

ok so my bIGGEST PROBLEM WITH ALL THIS, is WHY DIDN’T TERUTERU TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS 

if he Knew what komaeda was up to (and he did, it’s confirmed right after this) why didn’t he just go tell not-togami right away. even if he thought nobody would believe him, that guy would have taken it very seriously since he already was on his guard and knew there was a threat 

i mean i guess like. he saw an opportunity to kill komaeda, which he could feel justified about bc he knew komaeda was already planning a murder, and if he got away with it he could escape but that still means he was willing to sacrifice everyone else 

like he does give kind of a weak attempt at asking if it counts as an exception because it was sort of self defense (komaeda couldn’t kill him from where he was but he was gonna kill Someone so he was defending. someone) but he still.... knew komaeda was going to kill somebody and made the choice to just kill him himself without warning anyone or saying Anything and then kept that fact to himself too

back in dr1 again we had this similar situation in the first trial where leon actually was acting in self defense (which is Confirmed in the manga, he doesn’t get a chance to explain it in the game) and didn’t tell anyone but like... none of them knew yet if they could get off on a technicality and we don’t know if he might’ve been hoping for that, and he didn’t know sayaka was dangerous, he didn’t make the conscious decision to go kill her without telling anyone. he probably should have asked someone else for help when she lost it but his intention was to get in there to talk it out, so like. he tried to de-escalate the situation and became a killer by accident, teruteru had plenty of time to get help and decided to kill instead. and “hey byakuya i think komaeda is planning something bad” would have been a completely logical thing to do, he would have taken it seriously and teruteru would be innocent in that scenario, vs “guys i think i just killed sayaka but hear me out i didnt mean to” would NOT have gone over well, nobody’s gonna help him or believe him when it’s Sweet Dear Precious Sayaka, naegi could barely believe she attacked him even when they proved it with evidence 

i dont know i feel like teruteru had a lot more intent behind what he did. even if he would have been absolutely fucking justified in killing komaeda and i wish he had done it correctly :’  ) i think the “i dont care about taking everyone else down with him” is way more clear-cut here 

anyway, goodbye little bastard man 

motherfucker

i still CANNOT follow komaeda’s logic here 

he’s obsessed with the Ultimates... and believes in them SOOO Much :) he’s desperate to see them overcoming the ultimate despair... so he’s gotta kill somebody... to induce ultimate despair... so they can overcome it... i GUESS???

wouldn’t defeating monokuma and making it out of here on their own strength without resorting to murder at all be the ultimate hope triumph though. what are you DOING, komaeda

what is W R O N G wiTH YOu

well there he goes

i really wish someone would

P LE ASE DO 

AKANE OWARI MY QUEEN 

its not. clear but im pretty sure she Did punch him

its a crime that we dont get to see this, but 

i mean. she’s right 

i B U K I