#dysthmia

[eclecticelectriceccentric]

this one goes out to all the bitches with sad forever disorder!!!

HELL YES the woods are lonely dark and deep! but sometimes there's moss! even in the fucked up sad forever woods! and we! love! moss!!!

[xtrablak674]

Folks may feel one way or another about the current actor's and writers strike, me I am generally indifferent, but there is one significant benefit, I am catching up on all the shows I wanted to watch but was too busy trying to keep up with new ones. I am taking a huge deep dive into programs that have been eluding me for way too long. One of those programs is Netflix's Black Mirror, which I initially watched on bootleg sites since I didn't have access to a NF account.

As I re-watch certain episodes they are hitting differently than they did when I first watched them seven years ago. I thought it was in part the better quality, being able to rewind and most importantly being able to turn on subtitles for hard to hear dialog. I am getting nuances and connections between the Black Mirror world that evaded me before.

One episode that evoked emotions that it didn't previously, was San Junipero, the fourth episode of season three, or series three as they would say in the United Kingdom. The premise of the episode was very similar to Amazon's Upload, which is a show I enjoyed thoroughly. But this episode wasn't remotely comedic and it layered in sexual identity and late in life romance in a very special and unique way. Without major spoilers there is a technology that allows you to upload your consciousness into a server where you can basically live forever having all kinds of adventures in your new after-life.

The thing that had me upset and literally had me crying, I thought maybe I should explore this in a journal entry because this amenity wasn't remotely interesting to me. My reticence like one of the characters in the anthology show was, how can you enjoy eternity when the rest of your family can't be with you? That had me fucked up, because it reflected a truth in my own life. As I explained to my nibling, I have been a forsaken pariah, left behind by nearly my entire family which has proceeded me in death. Who exactly would I be enjoying eternity with?

More importantly I will still be who I am, a person who suffers from mental health issues. Why would I want to spend the rest of existence suffering the way I have in my finite lifespan? This had a dual effect of feeling very sad but also practical. Death is an end a ceasing, rest or nothingness. We don't exactly know, but I would like to think there wouldn't be any more pain in that state.

This admission felt overwhelmingly sad, but it was my truth. To be clear I have never been suicidal but hearing about vampires living forever or mythical characters or gods who have immortal lives I couldn't see that for myself, being first how I am so ostracized from society, and how below homeostasis my mental health is.

There is one way in which this pretense would be attractive to me, if I could forever be journeying in worlds beyond this world, in space, underwater or dimensions so unlike our own they are alien. I realize this is based heavily on love of science fiction and fantasy, but I know I couldn't just live on this planet indefinitely in this head, in this body and in this mental distress and pain. I would need something so outside of myself that I would have to constantly be challenged by my environment that I didn't have a moment to retreat inside.

Everlasting life isn't for everyone, especially those that suffer. I think this is the main reason that religion never really floated my boat, it assumed you were happy with this life, which frankly I never really have been. There have been moments that I was content, but those feelings were always fleeting. I don't think I have had an existence of continually happiness, and I know that may be a bit unrealistic for anyone, but I think there is the potential for there being more good days than bad ones. Sadly that hasn't been my truth and winning this same fate for time immemorial sounds like a punishment to me, not a gift.

[cosmogenous]

.

[drtwobrains]

talking about two brains isnt enough i need to devour him

[morbidxmommy]

apparently i have bpd

[theskeletoninthegarden]

Got my mental health grade back. I got a B+

[spicksquirrel]

intro to spick.

I made him while i was at the mental hospital not too long ago! spick has done basically everything, weed, cocaine etc you name it hes done it.

He was created december 4th -the original drawing i made of him looks like a potato chip.

His design is inspired by vamp aesthetic and the fucking squirrel from ice age.

there are more characters my friends from the mental ward made some inspired by my original squirrel spick, they made him friends youll meet as i post more.

spicks friends are, smore, bag, scene and slots

smore made by finn, bag made by bryce, scene and slots made by mike and mine is spick.

I wish i had contact with them still. we made the characters at central star youth mental ward. it was a fun time for sure.

mentally deranged squirrels but anyways more about spick! He speaks gibberish and english . he is very stupid. He has adhd and dysthmia disorder and is on four different medications. spick has mother issues and most of the time hes never sober he uses his weed pen to stay high. hes been to the mental ward 3 times before.

theres more but ill draw some stuff digitally and share the drawings i made in the mental hospital before going back into the lore.

[arrowsbane]

so I’m like ninety percent sure I’m in my way to a meltdown of epic proportions. my behaviour is erratic, I’m twitchy and having mood swings, and I’ve now gotten to the point where I can’t sleep without the light on. normally, I’d say send help, but tbh, I think everybody might want to run the fuck away.

[domesticflight]

[teresalylemedia-blog]

Inner voice from the #series #Dysthmia and #Me. Shot with a #pinhole #camera #pinholecamera The series is away of dealing with #emotions and #stress #everyday. #photography is a #medium that helps #selfexpression through #art. #photographer #artist #depression #copingskills #survivor #warrior #mentalillness #selfportrait #mentalhealth #lowmood #anxiety #overthinking #mindfulness give my page a #followme

[radioactive-force]

Zul Muchasin Hadirkan Perjalanan Baru Dalam Album ‘Dysthmia’

Zul Muchasin, solois yang mengusung kemasan musik Indie Pop ini baru saja melesatkan mini album bertajuk “Dysthmia”. Spesial bertepatan dengan gelaran Cassette Store Day 2019, Dysthmia dilepas dalam format kaset oleh record label asal Surabaya yakni Paska Records. Zul Muchasin sendiri adalah musisi asal Purwokerto yang kini telah singgah ke ibukota.

Sebelum hadirnya Dysthmia, Zul merilis Secret Quest of A Lover sebagai debut albumnya pada 2018 lalu dibawah naungan Heartcorner Records. Ada 5 track dalam Dysthmia yakni Should Be Better, Mr. Sun, Poison, How Come?, dan Roomy House. Satu single sebagai perkenalan menuju album Dysthmia, Zul memilih Roomy House terlebih dahulu dimana mengangkat tema kenyamanan di dalam rumah bersama pasangan. Simak penggalan liriknya “In the room I look at to the fan / Spinning around as if to take me to our memories / There’s a laugh but often feel the sadness / We face it together, under the yellow sun, under moonlight.”

Terlepas kenikmatan single Roomy House, single favorit saya ada di dalam track pembuka bernama Should Be Better. Sangat tepat juga track tersebut dijadikan urutan awal karena punya nyawa tersendiri untuk bisa membuat kita bersing a long. Bagi pemuja musik Indie Pop ala Secret Meadow, The Cure ataupun Reality Club, mini album Zul Muchasin ini bisa kalian jadikan playlist baru andalan. Dapatkan format fisiknya juga langsung via Paska Records.

Link streaming audio “Dysthmia” : https://paskarecords.bandcamp.com/album/dysthmia

Ditulis oleh Fadly Zakaria.M

[dbluegreen]

People with dysthymia often find it difficult to be “upbeat”, even during good times. They might be perceived as gloomy, pessimistic, or a complainer.

https://www.psycom.net/depression.central.dysthymia.html

okay then. the term ‘persistent depressive disorder’ is the new term for dysthmia,and much more understandable. i’m sure i’m perceived as a complainer,because i AM one. i find it hard not to complain,honestly. i feel a need to do so,and it helps me to do so up to a certain amount,though of course then i feel guilty because it’s a ‘bad’ thing to do. it makes my life a little bit easier though,if i don’t have to keep myself from expressing these feelings. fortunately,i like to be complimentary and friendly when i can. 

sometimes i won’t go out to do errands in public if i am too depressed,or even remove myself from others’ presence. this is why it is easier to live alone. living in a small space,i don’t have many options if my sister wants to be in the living room at the same time as i do. i miss being able to sit on my couch and be grumpy and not be bothering anybody except the internet,who can at least ignore me easily if wanted or needed,thank goodness.

luckily there are positive aspects of living with my sister,though we BOTH prefer to live alone. not an option these days,though,as she is not well enough to work.

[electroweak]

bro if someone told me a year ago that "double depression" was a thing I'd actually think it was a meme or reference??? Now you're telling me that fucking """double depression""" is a fucking thing and that's what the heck I experience??? Double??? Who named this????

[the-scottish-costume-guy]

Been a while since I did a little rant about mental health recovery but here goes. Normally I don’t include my history but this time it feels important. I was first diagnosed with depression at age 12 and then “double depression” (Dysthmia or persistent depressive disorder, and Major depression) at age 16. By age 20 I had been depressed consistently for 8 years but I was finally able to remove myself from an abusive home environment and start working towards recovery. Its been hard, and I still to this day have depressive dips. But I went to therapy, I got my head on straight and started untangling the mess of my background. I stopped listening to the bad habits tumblr was spreading (in recent years theres definitely been a turn towards more helpful advice on this website which is good).  Once I was more stable, I started my transition. I discovered what I thought for years was extreme anxiety was actually ADHD and I got medicated and started learning to manage my symptoms. Ten years ago I couldn’t imagine living as long as I have.  Next Wednesday my fiance and I are getting the keys to our first flat together. In another 3 or 4 years Im going to hopefully have my teacher training (have to finish my degree first). I dont know when the dysthmia stopped, it was subtle and insidious but somewhere along the way my coping skills became habit and I haven’t felt that constant low level bleakness in a very long time. I think a part of me expected there to be a bigger prize at the end of the rainbow, a mental “you did it” banner. But there wasn’t - and it was such a slow shift it was like your hair growing.  Im not saying its all sunshine and roses, and Im definitely not saying its easy. But I am saying with work, with acceptance and with the knowledge that your brain is still developing well into your 20′s that recovery from depression is possible and worth every minute of the struggle to get there. Im 27 now, I was depressed for at least 12 years, probably a bit more but its hard to pinpoint start and finish. I know Im likely to have the shorter major depressive episodes again but at this point Im proud to say Im not depressed anymore. 

[blueberryuserboxes]