#elf writing

[ducktracy]

sharing a very sage bit of advice from The Simpsons' own John Swartzwelder that i've been trying to hamper down in my writing and drawing alike. let your inner crappy little elf do his worst

[baixue-temple]

imagining a comedy fic or such that follows the peak lords dealing with the fallout of a specific scenario that I can best visualize as:

[doodlemcjazzhands]

"I know I will be long dead before you read this..."

[wykonii]

They’re having a nerd-off

[bnyf]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ#1 crush ♡

╭﹕୨୧﹒yandere male elf x female human reader ♡

┊ warnings : yandere content and themes, unhealthy behaviors, relationship and relationship dynamic, sexual content, noncon, kidnapping, size difference, strange dynamic.

╰﹕୨୧﹒authoress note : after receiving some unwanted but much needed criticism i've tried my hand at writing a little better and fixing errors. i apologize in advance if there's any errors or gaps in my writing, i also apologize for the messed up story that this is. ik some people don't like the way i write the reader but like??? idgaf sorry anyways other than that, i hope you guys enjoy, please read the warnings and proceed with caution <3 i would also like to say that this post is kinda inspired by a very popular yandere artist on here with a male elf oc

what a treacherous fate had befallen on a vitreous soul such as yourself.

it truly is unfortunate, you're so unlucky. how could your luck have run so low? to think, this everyday mundane routine would now be your nightmarish reality was stomach wrenching. you never did anything to deserve this, this was simply some sort of faulty by the gods, right? there's no way this is your horrible ending. no way.

you sobbed and yet... he hummed and chastised you by smacking your puffy clitorous.

it's always like this, it's been like this for...? a while now apparently. you've completely lost track of time. maybe a month or so if you're playing the guessing game.

well, if it wasn't obvious already, you've been taken hostage by an insane elven prince. probably the most insanely angelic, good-looking, prettiest and sick minded male you've ever met.

he really needs professional help. something that he can more than afford considering his house is almost made of gold, his herculean physique adored and draped only with the most expensive clothes, jewels, silks, soaps and scented creams and perfumes. his perfume, so extravagant, worth more than your vital organs all put together. that was the part you admired about elven people, they are so intelligent, so ahead of humans.

but to him? therapy is cheap and free! you're the first ever human he's laid eyes on and that's all he really needs. and really, you're the one to blame for his actions. it's all you. so you should take responsibility, right?

he's sought out humans before, trying to break the barrier between the two worlds and connect with them. he was damn near obsessed with coming into contact with the human realm and ruling over them like a god despite the fact that any sort of magic that threatens to break the barrier and connect the realms or offer passage through the two realms is absolutely forbidden. this is such a serious offense that if caught violating, can lead to public execution.

but your little caregiver did not! give one flying hoot at all, nor did the rules really even apply to royals as the royals participated in a lot of magical corruption and kept it all on the low.

so what a surprise! not really that he'd succeed in his conquest. not entirely since he'd only manage to bring one human to the elven realm, but now he knows for sure he's making great progress. and not only succeed in getting a nitty gritty palms on any human, but such a cute little human female like yourself.

humans are a lot more fragile, smaller, weaker, lesser intelligent beings, almost like a sub species from elves. so that's why you must be taken care of with so much extra love and attentiveness. all this was his reasoning for treating you like a minor being, enabling you and excuses for his weird kinks.

there was no way you'd ever dream of over powering him, not when a large veiny arm wrapped so tightly around your wrists, holding it behind your back, and the other with it's slender long digits effortlessly reaching your g spot.

it was 'bath time' or whatever, which called for a thorough inspection and cleanse. or just another excuse to use your body to his likings.

his tongue lap at your folds and clit, moaning in delight and relishing in all your juices spraying him. his voice muffled by your pussy, making wet sounds as he attempts to praise your gorgeous body: all of which sounds like incohesive unhinged, obsessive rambling of course.

if you ignore this scene and focus on other small things around you maybe you can, somewhat imagine yourself having a luxurious warm bath in the tub, with flowers and scented stuff in the water, scented candles creating a relaxing atmosphere, marvelous one-sided glass view... maybe not the one-sided glass view that's actually a little too scary to think about but yeah, you're having a nice little bath.

the most relaxing bath in the most prettiest and pearliest tiled bathroom you've ever been in.

your insides contorts though and you find yourself coming again undone on those perfectly manicured fingers of his, messing up his perfect face with your essence. your voice is loud and echoes throughout the bathroom, all the way into the bedroom and closet but never enough to each anyone's ears as he's casted multiple protective barrier spells to keep your presence unknown from other elven people. you've came like 5 times already and he won't let you rest, getting high off your pussy juices.

"poor baby, you look so tired, shhh don't worry~ mama will take care of everything, just relax and be good for me, okay? it'll all be over soon, my darling ^ mama will get you all cleaned up and dressed, right after this..." you wish you had the energy to welp out an 'ewwwwww da fuck?!' right about now but you were so weak and constantly sedated. you felt helpless as his bulbous tip hits your pussy, rubbing it back and forth to coat and lubricate himself with your juices. he leisurely teases, making your hole spasm and grasp around nothing, your body reacting in a lovely manner to his advances.

he licks his lips, only putting the tip in before quickly pulling back out. taking his time cause he wants to drive you insane like him. and luckily for him, his mind games always work so well.

his precum leaking and smearing you in the process as he rubs his whole length, measuring your pelvic area with his cock length and soon putting it in to see how far it'll actually go.

you almost blacked out. even though he prepped you well for this it still stings, he's just too big. and you? way too tight, squeezing him like you want every last drop of his seed, has him shivering and grunting in the process.

"fck- you're so tight, baby ngh~"

has him seeing stars and by the time he's balls deep in you and hitting the tip of your womb, you're a drooling and moaning mess. can't even control his obsessive thoughts from spilling out his mouth, he immediately gets to work on those hips too like a wild animal, only sparing a few seconds to sloppily kiss you and slap your thick behind.

it only takes a few minutes before he breaks his load inside you and shifts you into another position, manhandling you and roughing you up like a meat toilet, all for his own enjoyment and pleasure.

his long silky hair tickling your skin. when you think about it, he's so masculine with many feminine traits too, like the perfect balance actually and it is to be expected from an elf. he always wants to be in control, always wants to take care of you like a god watching over his creation. it sorta overlaps with him calling himself your mama but it makes sense in a way. he doesn't see himself as a woman in any sort of way, he just wants unrestricted authority over you.

your tears stream down your cheeks which he licks away and kisses, it only hurts your head trying to rationalize this or even understand it, your vision goes all blurry and for the next few rounds, your in and out of consciousness while being filled.

when you're awake again, you're draped in silk half naked and powdered up, you feel your caretakers strong arms wrapped around you, spooning you as rubs circles into your skin. he's also half naked with nothing but a cloth draped around himself. you both lay on a soft layered bed with many squishy pillows and blankies. fruits, steam veggies and grilled meat laid out on a silver tray for you to enjoy, though your stomach was filled with his cum.

[grendel-menz]

fantasy worlds with fantasy friends with fantasy lifespans...

[slayerdurge]

Gortash & Durge in bed together. Naked. In the dark. Starting at each other.

Gortash looks at Durge and sees a killing machine. All teeth & nails & violence. Consciously created by a god. Made by intelligent design. Measured & planned to achieve a specific purpose. Unholy blood flowing through mortal veins. Efficient. Ordered.

And he says, "You're flawless."

Durge looks at Gortash. Sees his wear & tear. His rougher edges. The marks of a life where nothing was ever handed to him. Where he had to work for every single advantage. The definition of self-made. Will & spite & audacity. Refusal to ever settle. Unrelenting insistence on his own self-worth.

And Durge says, "So are you."

[gammija]

tiefling jon's first day at the Archives

[n0tamused]

a proud elf fucker has come to disturb ur peace bbygurl smug tiktok emoji

so,,,, humans are more openly affectionate and touchy-touchy compared to the elves right? hand holding, smooching ur friends’ forehead or cheeks for good luck or saying goodbye or when showing u have missed each other or an arm around the other’s waist when comfortably sitting beside each other and chatting.

how would the elves react to this? like a human s/o (before courting) who is just generally so,,,,,,, affectionate (i dunno how many characters you would accept pookie but im mainly thinking of thranduil, legolas, feren and lindir for this)

expect me more in ur inbox pookie😚(a threat)

A/n: Come by my door again and I will throw you out (a warm meal awaits you inside). This is more of a ramble than really my usual headcanons that I do for characters. A reminder again - but I am a bit rusty with writing for these characters, so this is me rambling about them so I can explore them better. Unapologetically longer part for Legolas bc he is my bbg. Didn't do Feren for this one, but I hope to add his part on this prompt in the future. Hope you enjoy pookie!

Contents: Thranduil, Legolas, Lindir x GN!Reader (separate), fluff. not proof-read so expect grammar mistakes (very scary)

Words: 1471

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Thranduil

-Listen- Thranduil is hard to reach, he’s a tough nut to crack as one may say, and he is quite distrustful of strangers, but this is not a scenario where you’re a stranger to him, oh no. 

-While you have caught the interest of the elven king and as his knowledge is ever so deep on both elven customs and that of man, he can’t say he has ever indulged in the human customs quite so much. You sort of make him want to indulge in it all. 

-Thranduil is not the one to hastily discard his public image and reputation for the sake of a fleeting touch of fingers or a graze of your lips across his cheek in a farewell bidding, yet seeing you do so with your company with which you travel with makes him think.

-For a mind that has seen so many centuries and so many faces, you have made him feel as if the memories of friends of old and strangers came before his eyes only in preparation to see you. Quite weird, but it is what his mind makes him think. Were you sent to his path for a reason?

-And where do you get your boldness from, to try and touch him so easily? What makes you think that is proper? When have you become so brazen when just yesterday you seemed to struggle with speaking to him formally? 

-He does request your company alone from time to time, walks through the woods and dinnertime especially, and this opens way for more privacy and attempts at intimacy.

-Here, you’d find him more forgiving at accepting your advances

-He is still getting used to the feel which your hands leave behind after gripping his own hand or his arm, or the tug at his sleeve the poke of your fingers at his side - yet he wouldn’t trade it for anything else. It’s such a small change in his life, but it feels surreal to experience it all the same when he is so used to the generally the same routine and schedule, especially in his relations with others. 

-At the end of the journey of your outing, he’d return the gestures with one of his own, one a bit more subtle than yours, but he makes sure his kisses on your knuckles linger

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Legolas

-Humans are touchy, yes, Legolas has witnessed much of this displayed affection since he departed Mirkwood for his journeys, but what he felt when he saw all of it wasn’t shock or disgust like some of his peers felt when they saw these “crude and hasty customs” - rather he felt some longing instead, a yearning.

-He craves a close connection too, but he is hopeless in seeking it out in the world of mortals and he is a bit without a clue on how to develop such a closeness with someone. He wasn’t raised in a place where emotions are foreign, but as established before - human and elven customs do differ, and they both perceive emotions and displays of it differently. You can say Legolas fits a bit more into whatever human ways are of expressing emotions. Firm hand holds and tight hugs instead of brush of fingers and longing looks during long periods of courting. Man, Legolas just craves a strong friendship, let alone a relationship

-I think it would be safe to say Legolas is touch-starved in his own right, simply put

-So when you come along, and you both click as companions? He is quite happy to put it lightly. I don’t think there is an adequate term that can summarize his elven giddiness when he simply sees you being openly affectionate with your friends, he feels a sense of belonging since you are not a stranger he observed, but someone he has come to understand too. He knows your name, your story, what you do and don’t like

-Yet this doesn’t prepare him for when you show the same affection to him as well. Suddenly all lectures and elven courting rules and traditions come pouring in his head all within a blink of an eye and it is the first time you have seen him look so taken aback. 

-He doesn’t reject your advances however, he’s much more accepting of them than his father, and it is just you and your shared small company, sometimes not even them, that get to see this exchange. He is.. giddy, quite happy.

-It feels fulfilling sharing in the affections, although he is much more reserved than you by quite a lot - he tries though. He’d still absolutely love it if you accepted his proposal of courting, so he can court you properly and as you deserve. Please let him he is on the edge of his seat, he is about to fall off waiting

-Despite what he feels and how human his smiles and expressions have become since you began to pay him this attention, he is patient, he moves at a slower pace than you and he is your grounding rock when you become too hasty

-It is not a rare sight to see him draping his cloak around you, or - at your request - see him sitting next to you huddled under the same cloak or a blanket by the fire. Coziest he has ever been tbh…

-In some summary - your hands are held gently, your brows are kissed tenderly and you are well taken care of with him around

-(Please send me more Legolas thoughts or requests I love my bbg sm)

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Lindir

-Now this one is a little more dense. Denser than the Elven King? I hear you ask, and I say to you - possibly.

-Now, correct me if I am wrong, but he isn’t exactly too old, by elvish standards of course. He is relatively young by their norms, and has spent a lot of his time in Rivendell, serving Lord Elrond

-A very personal headcanon, take it or leave it, but he is even younger than Legolas.

-Anyhow, Lindir is quite dutiful in his work and doesn’t accept it comfortably when new energies are introduced to his environment. He can get quite skittish and tense when things aren’t going according to some mental plan he has set out in his mind, or even worse - if the events aren’t following a plan shared by him and the others. He is very keen on sticking to this familiarity of routine and stagnancy, in some way.

-So, note his surprise when you stick around and worm your way into his daily schedule.

-For a long while he swore to himself up and down how he will never get used to you, perhaps if you grew as old as he then he might, but your life was a flicker in comparison to his own

-He is even more surprised and confused when he sees himself looking for too long at you sharing hugs with your friends, bidding them goodbye and safe travels by kissing them hard on the forehead and trying to..wrestle them? What an odd thing to do to your friends..

-He is more baffled when you attempt to do the same to him. How could you?!

-He is an elf, an elf with standards!

-An elf with standards which you break through anyway since you’re so..infectious. Lindir had the funny thought, although it was a bit unsettling to him at the moment, that he was sick or fading/dying.

-In the days and months following, it took much effort to finally see the fruit of your labor. Lindir was finally, although still slowly, opening up to just spending more time with you instead of going by his strict routine that he played on repeat.

-He doesn’t sit three feet away from you anymore, but rather two and a half.. Not literally, of course, but the distance between you seems like it is miles with the way he sometimes acted in the beginning of these outings with you.

-The distance surely shrinks until he is actually next to you, his fingers brushing against your skin as he traces a small scar there which you claim you earned in your childhood. By elvish standards, humans are nowhere near perfection, but his thoughts have begun to change, and he no longer sees perfection in the standards he was raised with, but rather he sees it in you. Each little thing that separates you from another, and little by little he begins to sow you into his memory.

-He isn’t the best at remembering mortal souls, they all pass by quickly, but you linger and linger and he doesn’t want you to not linger. Linger with him by the fountain, will you? Let him ask you questions to distract himself from the fact your hand embraced his?

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[corsairspade]

there are many reasons I like the "Erestor son of Caranthir" headcanon but secretly the main one is that I'm imagining all of the remaining noldo auditors sighing of relief when Caranthir dies and they don't have to try play 4d chess with multiverse time travel trying to catch this guy doing tax evasion. life is good for exilic auditors now.

and then suddenly Elrond and Elros turn up again! even better! oh who's this, Elrond? your good friend Erestor? he's helping you with your taxes? oh how swe- what is this Elrond. What is this. your paperwork for your taxes you say. not a declaration of war? because it looks like a declaration of war on the exilic auditors, Elrond.

and then all the auditors are so busy doing "extreme tax auditing™" for the first time since the second Kinslaying that they don't tell anyone they're pretty sure there's another scion of the house of Fëanor running around.

[inthehouseoffinwe]

Hc that Celebrian knew from before they were born which of her children would choose mortality.

From what I remember, Elven mothers have insight to their child’s life pre birth. Thing Miriel telling Finwë not to blame her for the deeds Fëanor will go on to commit. Think even the names that are chosen, and how the mother names seem to hold a certain weight about them.

Celebrian knew from the moment she chose to marry Elrond exactly what she was risking. But I think having heard and potentially seen Elros, this was something she was willing to take. It wasn’t a case of hoping her children would be immortal and find their way back to her. It was ‘I know they’ll choose what’s right for them, and I’ll be happy either way.”

Also remember Celebrian was born as part of a family who had been dealt fates worse than death before, and others to whom immortality would become a curse because they were the only ones left. Galadriel was still in exile, and had lost all her brothers and cousins. As far as they were concerned, this was it for her until she became a shade on Arda.

All that to say, she saw mortality and death not as a curse or sundering - she knew you didn’t have to die for that to happen. But as the gift as Eru intended it.

So yes. When Arwen was born, she grieved. But she also smiled. There’d come a point where her daughter would leave her forever, but she had an Uncle on the other side waiting for her. And Celebrian knew whoever had Arwen’s heart would be a noble and kind man indeed.

And based on conversations I’ve had with people talking of their married children? There will always be a sense of grief. But every parent, especially someone like Celebrian who had such a wonderful life with Elrond, wants their child to experience what they have.

Wherever it takes them.

(Celebrian receives letters from Arwen and Aragorn when Legolas comes. She holds them close and weeps, but smiles and laughs as she reads them. And her heart eases. Just as she thought, Arwen was happier in her short time on Arda than she ever would’ve been as an immortal in the Undying Lands.)

[antlerlad]

anyone else notice all the cheese in solas' depression cave? no? just me? what was going on in there white boy

bonus egg. run over him with my toyota prius i must.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

A New World | Yandere Monster's World

Rules | Buy me a Kofi!!! | Commissions(Shorts, ASMRScripts, etc.)

Thinking about an alternate dimension with no humans. No rumors, no myths, and no ancient burial grounds that suggest they might exist. Only the creatures we write about and make stories of. Hairy 5-meter tall hairy giants, vampires that drink the blood of any they can get their hand on, gorgeous beauties that feed on the souls of all they drown at sea. It’s a monster lover’s dream. The races of course are in factions by race navigating peace as best as they can but it continues to be a contentious mission. 

Of course not helping their case, a new species is being introduced to the pool.

You. 

A dimensional traveler meant to test out a better place for humans to live. Of course, your soulless employers drop you in with limited supplies and promise they’ll return you in five years of course if you're not dead. 

But this monster world is far from ready to have a human come to their land. At first, they mistake you for a defanged good-natured vampire; flexing your technology as a silent show of dominance. Typical of those snotty fang-havers….but things get weird when the council of monster representatives finds the Vampires so in awe of your existence. 

“No fangs?”

“Imperviousness to the sun!?”

“You are like nothing we’ve ever seen–”

“Or smelt! Your blood—”

“We’ve never tasted anything more divine!”

After using a small reusable syringe technology is amazing from your pack and give them a couple of droplets. Only for one taste to have the vampires writhing in heat so feverish they can’t help but drool and pull at their suddenly too-restricting clothes.

The other representatives are baffled. Are you a witch?! You have a better temperament than any and you haven’t requested any hearts or weird herbs to sate some hunger of yours. The Witch representatives check you next, doing the usual checkups witches must go through.

“Alright now open your esophagus.”

“Uhm I can’t do that. I can open my mouth, though. Ahh”

“GASP! What on the Withering Lands is that pink thing hanging in the back!?”

“My uvula?”

“Oh my, should you be showing that to us?!”

“Yes, we may impregnate you that way.”

“That’s not how it works for me.”

Though for good measure and their imploding curiosity, they take a sample of your saliva. Learning from those narcissistic vampire they only pour a hint of it into their cauldrons. Taking a sip, their chemistry demands their brain think of an answer and yet….why are their pants wet? Oh dear they’ll need to satisfy themselves quickly or they’ll be unable to stop themselves from pouncing on the odd creature that brought this along.  It brings the council into an uproar some call for your immediate execution, others want to take you for further experimentation, and others hope to have what the vampires and witches were having. 

One of your immediate allies is the Elves the hosts for this council meeting. Escorting you from the courtroom as they mull about possible solutions, willing to hear out what you might have to say. Oblivious to the tension among the kingdoms and each specific problem, you can’t offer much. That leaves the Elf representative, an audacious fifth prince, at his wit's end. Near tears he expects you to watch awkwardly as the sparkling water falls from his eyes, not rub against his back. 

“Hey it’s okay we’ll figure it out. I really appreciate you looking after me.”

Your words fall on deaf ears as the elf is immediately thrown into disarray. Even through his clothes, the warmth of your hands has the most naughty parts of him stand at attention. The tips of his ears are the shade of the planet’s crimson moon and the nails he’d always kept beautifully shaped make indents in the wood. His guards happily fall to restrain the creature responsible only for them to suffer the same fate. 

It dawns on you just how terrible of a situation it is then you realize the door is locked and the monsters suffering from your effect have been thrust into a mindless rut where their all convinced you will solve their problems. 

And maybe you can, after all, you are the only human in this world. If you made these problems surely you can fix them. 

[dark-elf-writes]

Actually still thinking about that drabble I posted of the disciples knowing Shen Qingqiu is someone else and becoming incredibly protective and can’t stop laughing because you know after Without A Cure they get even more protective but instead of keeping other Peak Lords out they are constantly kidnapping Liu Qingge or Mu Qingfang to help their Shizun.

Liu Qingge, of course, has never missed a scheduled appointment with his shixiong but he knows every single time Without A Cure flares up because without fail a collection of green children will be on his peak glaring at him like they’re looking for a fight even as they speak with icy politeness “requesting” his presence to tend to their master. He’d be more annoyed about it if he didn’t know that without the brats Shen Qingqiu would never tell anyone he was having an attack which would only make the damage worse. They have a mutual understanding that he will go help their shizun and after when Shen Qingqiu was dozing after the qi transfer Liu Qingge would stomp his way to the training field to beat up train his sect brothers children disciples.

Without fail every time Shen Qingqiu is on the last few days of his medicine Mu Qingfang finds a collection of green clad disciples in his office. All of them with challenge in their eyes and expectation in their smiles. He ain’t sure what caused the change in the Qing Jing Peak disciples that made them so… intent on protecting their master but he certainly isn’t complaining. Getting Shen Qingqiu to submit to a medical exam used to be like pulling teeth but now all it takes are a few teary eyed children with clever fingers tangled in his sleeves for the man to come mostly willingly. Mu Qingfang makes sure to forget some basic healing books where he knows those sharp eyed disciples will see them. After all the more people in the sect that knew how to heal meant he and his own disciples could be spared for more serious cases.

The ducklings also start to kidnap Shang Qinghua post Binghe’s “death”, just as concerned for their shizun’s mental wellbeing as well as the physical. Very few things could snap him out of his grief after all, and while he would hold them close or pat their heads when they pressed close to his sides (closer and closer each day as they saw the shadows under his eyes and how his frame grew ever thinner as he relied more and more on inedia to sustain him) nothing brought the fire back to him quite like bulling their shishu. Poor Shang Qinghua has more nightmares about sweet faced disciples in green than he does of his own deaths past or future. He does see however what they’re doing. It’s hard not to when Cucumber Bro looks so… lost. Listless. So he follows the little terrors back tot heir peak every time and only sweats a little bit when one of them jumpscares him in his own office dispute him not hearing anyone entering.

[starsandink13]

Yandere Elf Prince x Elf-Hater

(this is inspired by my own hatred towards elves while listening to Wind Rose and thought this would be hilarious) ❤︎He's completely obsessed with you. Fully and wholeheartedly and unwaveringly. How could he not be? Everything about you is just so perfect and cute and precious in his eyes! Oh, how he wants to just pick you up and cuddle you to his chest while peppering your face in kisses between words of endearment. You're just far too adorable to not want to!

❤︎Too bad you hate those cock sucking tree thumping condescending useless sack of shit wingless fairies stupid knife ears and make it clear that you do not appreciate him in the slightest. Especially since he's the next in line. ❤︎He thinks your insults to be you just being that you're just shy about your affections. No matter how many times you call him a useless, tree hugging, flower fucking, prancing dagger ear deserving of being shoved off a cliff. ❤︎While you're seething (or actively insulting), he's humming a merry tune to himself while weaving you a flower crown and daydreaming about making more in the future for you. He finds the deep frown on your face and your arms crossed over your chest adorable, even more so with the garland of flowers atop your head. It makes you look like a cute little grumpy kitten trying to look like a lion!

❤︎He's always by your side; he can't let you wander off on your own for a moment. What if there's bandits or some monsters out there!? You're totally defenseless in his eyes, and he can't let a single scratch be inflicted on you! So of course, he's going with you to make sure no one tries to do you any harm.

❤︎As you try to leave once again, he gently grabs your your shoulder and asks where you're going before tutting you like a teacher catching his student defacing the wall. He ignores your screams and trying to dig your heels into the ground while he drags you back to his castle (or campfire, depending on where the two of you are) and tries to softly shush you with gentle words. ❤︎When the two of you get back there, he'll tenderly rub your cheek and inspect you for any injuries as he lightly lectures you on the dangers of running about by yourself; you should be thankful that he's there to keep watch over you, because who knows what would have happened if he wasn't. ❤︎He'll feel bad after that, and tries to make it up to you by being extra doting and touchy-feely-- even when you strike him in the jaw and tell him to go back to fucking flowers and prancing around in the woods. ❤︎To that, he'll just rub where you punched him and laugh lightly before kissing you on the top of your head. Only to get punched-- again, to no one's shock but his own. ❤︎No matter how clearly and often express your complete disdain for his kind, he never wavers in his devotion and doting. Even when you try to set the castle's throne room on fire! He just thinks you're just being silly and wanting of his attention. In which case, why he'll smother you even more in it. :D ❤︎Not only that, but he's totally a apologist for you-- no matter what you do. No matter how many times you chase around another hapless elf with a sword or axe, screaming for the total eradication of all dagger ears. Or when you made a mockery of their spring festival by refusing to take part in any of the activities and instead try to sabotage them-- such as you set fire to their flower sculptures. Or conspire to kill his father by trying to shove him off the tower. Why, they probably did something to set you off! It's their fault for upsetting you! Stop being mean to his little flower princess, you bullies. :( ❤︎Your dynamic really is akin to a big, stupid dog trying to win the affections of an especially grumpy cat. Complete with all of the hissing and swatting while he wags his metaphorical tail and stupid grin as he looks at you with nothing but total love. ❤︎A big, stupid dog that will happily maul anyone that tries to take you away from his precious little kitty cat. <3