#especially how the first meeting went all those chapters ago

[dangaer]

           ❛     it's just as i promised, there's no need     to worry. cerberus may appear rather scary, but even he is fond of some personal love and affection ...    ❜ / @loreconcepts ♥'d!

[matrixbearer2024]

Roller Rinking, Dancing and Dreaming

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: I went roller skating with some friends and one of them pitched the idea of a date at the roller rink with Vox and Reader, though it's not really a date anymore for those two since the Hazbin Hotel crew tagged along because Charlie didnt realize that this was supposed to be a special occasion. Oh and Alastor is just going to be kind of a sore thumb because it's funny. Also found this pic of Vox(it's not my art and I don't know who drew it HELP-) but it's his getup for his and Reader's date because I will not have this flatscreen idiot take us out in his fucking work clothes. Velvette give this man a proper wardrobe PLEASE-

A/N: I'm probably going to write a lot of date ideas between Vox and (Y/N) to prolong the slow-burn and also so I can include the other characters anyway- so if you guys have any other ideas- go ahead and drop them down below and I'll try to fit the ones I think would work best! As always, happy reading and I hope you guys enjoy!

A/N: Final note- but this was the song I was listening to while writing this long LONG chapter so if you guys wanna vibe to it while reading go ahead lolol- Song's called: "Shut Up And Dance" by Walk The Moon.

If there was one word Vox would use to describe you, it had to be crazy.

Or cute, but that was besides the point-

He'd always thought your ideas couldn't get any wilder, only to be proven wrong in at the very least a few hours.

Especially when he was reminded of the time you made a papercraft of his clothes while he was stuck to your TV screen.

And the time you sent him earrape audio during a meeting for no reason?

And calling coffee "Bean Juice"?

He could go on and on about the random insane things you would do periodically.

But because he grew so used to it-

More like he always ended up looking forward to your entertaining shenanigans-

The first thing Vox had done was give you a new VoxTech phone with your custom app on it.

At this point, he defaulted to using it if he were to check on you anyway and you had no complaints.

Alastor gave you both shit for bringing tech into the hotel only to get flipped off by the two of you anyway.

Lucifer had to stop himself from laughing because the deer was practically throwing a tantrum at being so nonchalantly brushed off-

Vox chuckled as he reminisced about it.

That was all few days ago, and it seems like you've settled into hell quite nicely.

You made friends with nearly everyone at the hotel, save a certain radio cannibal who you also liked to annoy-

And you'd even met Velvette on one occasion.

Well, more like Vox wanted to fashion you a wardrobe but didn't trust himself to pick good outfit combinations so he just entrusted the task to his fashionista colleague-

What he didn't expect was for the both of you to hit it off fairly quickly after that and ended up staying in touch online.

Vox even wondered at times if you were talking to Velvette more than him already but didn't think about it too much-

You haven't been to the Vee tower since that outfit shopping spree and well, you kind of understood why.

Especially after what you heard about Valentino from both Vox and Angel Dust.

That pimp guy was just someone you did not want to be around.

So that just left your TV headed buddy with no choice but to visit the hotel more and more.

Not that either of you cared much about how irked Alastor got because both of you and sometimes even Lucifer would often gang up on him-

Vox never really stayed, after all redemption didn't seem to be his thing with a whole media empire to run-

But sometimes you would force him to humor Charlie and try some of the activities, teasing him about it and saying he was cringe whenever he got awkward.

Vox just chuckled as he looked back on a lot of the moments you both had together, twirling a pen in his hand while he fondly remembered.

Of course until he eventually forced himself to stop daydreaming and focus back on the stack of paperwork in front of him.

He hadn't even really begun and honestly he didn't know if he wanted to.

It was busy days like these where he couldn't wait to visit and see you, work was stressful enough so just hanging around you and turning his brain off to your nonsense was enough of a distraction.

Ah whatever, that was enough of procrastinating.

It was a little while of him working on and checking the stack of documents on his table before his phone rang.

Vox didn't even bother to check the caller ID and just answered it because he was in work-mode.

So he almost ended up snapping his pen in two from sheer surprise when he heard your voice through the call.

"Heeeeey Vox? You free this weekend?"

The overlord just glanced over at his schedule and figured he could clear up a day or two.

It was only a day until the weekend after all.

He'd have to work double-time until then just to make up for the load but he didn't see a problem with it when the trade-off was spending more time with you.

"I could free up my schedule, why? Did you have something planned dollface?"

"Kinda, I heard there's a new roller rink disco club around the block and I wanted to go!"

"And you're telling me this, why?"

"Because I want you to go with me, duhhhh!"

Vox looked over some of the papers he had on his table absentmindedly and hummed.

Admittedly, you asking him about it first was kind of flattering- even if you knew he was a very busy guy.

He would often drop whatever he was doing just to help you if you needed it after all, so him rearranging his schedule on the fly like this wasn't anything new.

"So kind of like a date?"

He grinned when he heard you stutter and fumble over your words.

The overlord could only imagine just how red and flustered you were at the moment.

You'd always found ways to embarrass him back then when you were alive, so now he was just kindly returning the favor.

"N-no! Well- kind of? I don't know! Just wear something nice!"

"Sure doll, I guess I'll see you then?"

"Mhm, see you!"

Vox stared fondly at his phone when you ended the call, a smile working onto his face as he chuckled.

Who knew it was because of this specific little gadget that brought you guys together in the first place.

Putting the phone down, he cracked his knuckles and gave his table a once over.

It was covered in papers of all kinds but if he started now he could probably get it finished before tomorrow.

You threw your phone onto a nearby cushion and covered your face with your hands.

That stupid TV was too charming for his own good-

You grumbled slightly and crossed your arms, sometimes you doubted if Vox really even meant all the words he says-

Did it come so naturally to him to just be that charismatic?

But at the same time the guy could be a real annoying piece of work-

You really felt like just another sucker who couldn't decide whether you wanted to hug the overlord or strangle him.

"Heya toots! What's got you so worked up?"

"Hey Angel, just- dealing with Vox I guess?"

"Seriously? That's what you're all hung up about?"

"Hey! I'm not- hung up about it-! He's just so annoying."

"For once we can agree on something it seems!"

You screamed when Alastor suddenly appeared at your side, falling off the area of the couch where you were sitting.

If there was one thing you hated that the two media broadcast overlords had in common was that they loved loved LOVED to just sneak up on you.

It was getting really old and really tiring.

Frankly you had already been sick of Vox being a cheeky little shit doing it- you didn't need his rival to join in-

"Nobody asked for your opinion Al, and don't you have some murder to orchestrate or something?"

"HaHA! Not at the moment! Why, if you wanted to join me on my excursions you could've said so my dear!"

"Eugh- hard pass old geezer. Besides, I'll be busy this weekend."

"Really? With what?"

"Gonna go to that new roller rink disco club down the block. I used to go roller skating when I was a kid but eventually stopped as I grew older."

You figured it would be wise to leave out the fact you were going with Vox, you didn't need to arm Alastor any more ammunition to mess with you or his rival.

Thing is, you didn't necessarily notice just what chaos sharing your weekend plans would entail.

"Well if you're already going there, why not take the others with you?"

Oh fuck.

You forgot about Charlie.

Now you really wished you had kept your mouth shut, the last thing you wanted to do was hurt her feelings when she'd been nothing but nice to you.

"Okay hold on-"

Alastor couldn't help widening his grin when he saw your worried expression, well this was certainly going to get interesting.

"What a wonderful idea my dear! Perhaps I should go observe what this brand new establishment has to offer as well!"

"You antique motherfucker-"

Your fluffy deer ears pinned back as you glared at the radio demon, he really had to be toying with you when he said that.

Especially if what Husk had said in the past was anything to go by.

Alastor didn't like going to clubs or places that were similarly just as noisy and obnoxious.

So he was really just trying to shove you deeper into the grave you'd dug yourself.

"That's great Al! Maybe you could even find some more ideas for the hotel while you're there!"

You just covered your face in your hands, so much for just spending time with just Vox this weekend-!

How the hell were you even supposed to tell him about this??

"Yeaaaahhh... greaaaat..."

You weakly mumbled, tiredly looking up at Angel who just gave you an apologetic shrug.

You just gave up trying to mention otherwise when everyone else seemed more than eager for this weekend.

So much for your original plan.

By the time the weekend rolled around, you got yourself all dressed pretty with a casual top and jeans.

You decided against wearing anything that would leave your legs exposed since you didn't know if you'd fall down a bunch while rollerskating.

It was a while since you could remember the last time you tried.

Grabbing your phone and some necessities, you left your room and went to wait in the hotel lobby for the others to get ready.

"Vox where are you going?"

The overlord nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a familiar voice from behind him.

He swiveled around to see the youngest Vee just deadpanning at him.

Geez, and he thought he was being sneaky too.

"Ah! Velvette! Just- heading out. No reason."

"It's your date with (Y/N) isn't it?"

"It's not- oh whatever, what do you want?"

His colleague gave him an annoyed once over and the tech overlord just raised an eyebrow at her.

What was she planning this time?

"You aren't leaving wearing that."

"My suit? What's wrong with it?"

"For the occasion? Everything. Now come on- let's see if I can put something together for you."

While Vox didn't question what his colleague meant, he just followed Velvette to her studio when she gestured for him to.

He initially wanted to wear something other than his work clothes but after looking at the options in his closet he immediately went against the idea.

The last thing he wanted to do was embarrass you by arriving underdressed.

"Nope. Too formal. Too risqué. Too boring. Too colorful- Aha! There! How's that?"

Looking at himself in a nearby mirror, Vox straightened the blazer he wore with a smile.

A light blue turtleneck with some loose slacks and a dark blazer on top, plus a pair of sneakers in his colors to throw together the whole ensemble.

He didn't have his hat this time, but he figured it was probably for the better that he didn't.

Comfortable but still dapper, he liked it.

"Your outfits are impeccable as always Velvette."

"Yeah yeah, you owe me one for this Vox. Now get going or you'll be late!"

The overlord didn't bother to ask his colleague about how she knew about his plans- you could've told her about it online for all he knew.

Instead, Vox just waved back at his colleague as he walked out the entrance of the building feeling excited to see you again.

So you could imagine his irritation when he met you at the club and saw everyone from the hotel there as well.

So much for it being a date-

"What the fuck are they doing here?"

He angrily whispered to you while the others were busy exploring the new building.

Pop music blared over the speakers as the lights flashed around.

A bunch of sinners were skating around the large rink that probably took up more than half of the whole club, some were just dancing around the sides outside of the rink.

It was exactly like an old disco club with the bar and even the older style furniture and aesthetic.

"Charlie suggested everyone come along and Alastor insisted, it wasn't like I had a choice."

You grit out in reply, crossing your arms and feeling slightly just as grumpy about the situation as your flatscreen companion.

"Whatever, we can still enjoy ourselves can't we?"

Admittedly, Vox looked pretty good in this new outfit.

You hadn't seen him in anything but his trademark blue coat and red vest he wore for work so this was something new.

And it was a good new, you'd thank Velvette later.

The overlord just smiled at you and nodded, leaving the others in the group to just explore as you both went and bought some skates for the rink.

More like Vox just didn't want to use the rental ones so he bought you each a pair to keep-

"(Favorite color)? You shouldn't have."

"Figured if I was getting something, might as well get the one you'd prefer."

Your giggle was nearly drowned out by the loud music but Vox still heard it, a soft smile forming on his face as he watched you eagerly put on your new skates.

"Honestly didn't think you'd remember about it, I think I only mentioned it once."

"Kind of hard to forget things when you've got a computer for a brain dollface."

You just lightly bumped his shoulder in jest before standing up and twirling on your new wheels.

Thankfully you could still remember how to work them, even if it was a long time ago since you'd done this kind of thing.

"Do they fit okay?"

"Pretty well actually, how'd you know my size?"

"Just guessed, I might be lucky today."

You just playfully rolled your eyes at his response, of course he'd pat himself on the back for that.

It didn't take long for Vox to eventually wear his own set of skates, he just had no idea how to stand.

"Come on! It's not that hard, I'll teach you!"

The overlord stared at your outstretched hands for a moment before taking them and standing up.

Again with the fuzzy feeling in his chest- what the hell-

The both of you wobbled for a second while your companion got used to the new center of gravity.

"Would you believe it if I said I have never ever done this before?"

"I think it kinda shows ya goof."

You continued to hold his hand as you showed Vox how to move forward, unfortunately for you- his sense of balance wasn't quite that great and you both ended up crashing to the floor.

The overlord landing on his ass and you landing on top of him.

The both of you exchanged a look before bursting into laughter.

You were slightly thankful for the strobing lights of the club, otherwise you were pretty sure Vox would've easily seen the blush on your face.

He was kind of cute when he seemed to just be enjoying himself...

You just shoved that thought to the back of your mind and stood up again, holding a hand out for your companion to take.

"You're not gonna learn if you just sit down like that ya know? Come on! I wanna get inside the rink!"

Vox just looked at you amused, taking your hand and hefting himself to his feet again.

He could practically feel the energy just radiating off you, the bright excitement in your eyes even as you lead him to the entrance of the rink with much less struggle this time around.

You were just adorable, you'd let go of his hand to twirl around the center of the roller rink to the beat of the music.

Vox just found himself smiling again as he approached you.

If being beside you meant he could watch and see you like this?

He would gladly take that position in a heartbeat.

[morgana-larkin]

Me again lol I was wondering if u could do Melissa x reader where reader is autistic and has an autistic meltdown or struggles with change in routine and Melissa helps her (lol sorry I keep requesting fics but your writing is sooooo good I can’t get enough and as always no pressure and look after yourself 🫶)

Hey, thank you for the prompt! I literally just moved 2 weeks ago from one end of the city I live in to the other so I wrote that reader moves since its really relatable to me right now. And feel free to send as many prompts as you want, it’s not a problem😉. Hope you like it!

On another note, I was going to post this tomorrow but kept seeing people like my other fics so I figured I could just post it now lol. Also I can’t believe how many people are liking my fics! Especially ‘her poco sole’ , that was the one I really didn’t know if people were gonna like and it’s the most liked one which surprised me. I’m gonna try to get another one shot to a prompt I got a few hours ago and the next chapter of Worth It. I do have my acting workshop tomorrow and a role on Sunday but I’m gonna try!

Overwhelmed

Warnings: reader has a meltdown

Words: 3.1k

You’ve always done things a certain way, you planned your day ahead of time and you don’t like changes.

You got diagnosed with Autism when you were 13. Your parents knew nothing about it but were super supportive and researched it to better help you. They also liked to ask you questions about what you prefer to help you even further.

You all realised that routine is very important for you, and if something changed then you would need a bit of time to calm down from your mini freak out. If it was small changes like having to wear a different shirt or a friend wants to meet up at a different store, those you can deal with. But big ones like if a friend you were going to hang out with cancelled last minute or a family member dropped by unexpectedly or you moved.

That last one you didn’t experience a lot thankfully. You only remember moving once, and it was moving out of your parents place and in with a friend you’ve known since first grade. The next time would be when you moved in with Melissa.

You got accepted for a job to be a teacher's aide at Abbott Elementary. You walked in at 7:30 and went to the principal's office to get your badge and to know who the teacher you’ll be helping is. You liked being a teacher's aide instead of the teacher. If there was any big changes to the day then the teacher mostly has to deal with it and you just do what you’re told.

You got introduced to the principal, you didn’t understand how she got the job with how she acts but you don’t ask, it’s your first day after all.

« so the teacher that you’ll be an aide for, her name is Melissa Schemmenti. I’ll bring you to meet her now, she’s in the break room. » Ava said and you nodded your head. You followed her there and walked in the room and all the teachers there looked up and looked at you and you blushed a bit. You got nervous when you felt put in the spotlight with a bunch of people you don’t know. « Hey Melissa, your new aide is here. ». She told someone and when Ava moved out of the way your breath caught in your throat. A pair or beautiful green eyes were on you and they belonged to the most beautiful woman you’ve ever met. And then it hit you, she’s the teacher you’ll be helping. You’re either really lucky or really fucked. You then remember that you should introduce yourself.

« Hi, my name is y/n y/l/n. You must be Melissa Schemmenti. » you tell her and she nods then looks at Ava.

« She better be better than the last one Coleman. » she says and you look confused. She already had an aide that she didn’t like?

« I don’t know, I didn’t pick her, the school board did. » Ava says then leaves. And you just stand there not knowing what to do until one of the teachers stands up to greet you.

« Hi y/n it’s nice to meet you, my name is Janine Teagues. I’m a second grade teacher. » she says and is practically bouncing in your face and you lean back a bit, a bit surprised by her energy and enthusiasm.

« Hi. » is all you say, you never really know what to say to someone new.

« Alright kid, follow me, I’ll bring you to the classroom. » Melissa says as she gets up and you nod as you follow her out of the break room.

You stare at her little bit, you don’t know what to think of her yet other than she’s stunning and you oddly feel safe around her. Which is different, it takes you a few times of getting to know someone before you even feel comfortable. But it seems this woman has the power to make herself go from being a complete stranger to all the way to feeling safe around her.

« You’re really quiet. » she says to you as she bends down a bit to unlock her door with her key around her neck.

« Sorry, just nervous. » You tell her and she motions for you to go into the room.

« I didn’t say it was a bad thing, definitely a nice change from the last one. » she says and you want to be better than the last one so you can’t help but ask her.

« What did the last one do that you didn’t like? Just so I don’t repeat it. » You tell her and she looks at you curiously.

« She disrupted the class more that the students did. She made it worse more than she helped. » she simply said and leaned against her desk and folded her arms. And that’s when you get a look at what she’s wearing. Black leggings with a pink top and black leather jacket. Oh. You always found a girl who wears a leather jacket hot. « Do I scare you? » she says as you haven’t said anything.

« I don’t know you yet. I’m just nervous meeting new people and never know what to say. I’m autistic so I’m not as good with social interactions as other people. » You tell her and she nods.

« Well this is the classroom. I have a split class. » she says as she takes a seat on her desk and puts her hands together on her lap. « I have 20 second graders and 10 third graders. »

« Oh fuck. » you say and she laughs.

« That was my reaction too. Do you have any questions? »

« Um » you say and think about it. « What will you be needing me to do? »

« Just stuff to help really. Like photocopy papers, hand out tests, help them with some class work. Might need you to sometimes teach the third graders a quick lesson in the back of the classroom. » she says and you nod. This sounds like it’ll be good, you think. « any other questions? » she asks.

« Just mostly wondering how you’ve been doing this mostly by yourself. You must be a hell of a teacher to have 30 students in your class. » You tell her and she smiles.

« It was hard at first I’ll admit. I even punched the head of a cardboard samurai right off before I asked for an aide. » she says and you laugh.

The two of you talk for a bit before students start arriving. Melissa has you helping the third graders with some work while she teaches currency to the second graders. She gets you to grade some tests for most of the morning then has you help bring them to the cafeteria at lunch.

« You were a great help today so far, keep up the great work. » she says with a smile and you beam.

A month goes by with you helping Melissa and she’s less stressed now that she has an aide that’s helpful and you’ve settled in nicely with the class and some of the teachers. Until you get home from work one day and your friend tells you that her work transferred her to another city and she’s moving in a month and your smile falls. You can’t afford the rent by yourself, that means moving.

The next day at school, Melissa can tell something is bothering you since you seem distracted and in your head a lot. During her prep period, she asks you about it.

« Hey, what’s going on with you? You seem distracted this morning. » she asks you and you look up at her.

« I’m sorry, just a lot on my mind. » you tell her.

« You wanna talk about it? » she asks and you shake your head, you don’t really want to put it on her.

« You sure? »

You sigh and put your chin on your hands. « Just found out last night that I have a month to find a new place and move. And I looked a bit last night and there’s nothing I can afford by myself and very few people are looking for roommates. » you tell her and she doesn’t say anything. « Sorry, I didn’t want to bother you with my problems. » you tell her and she shakes her head.

« I offered remember. And plus I was actually going to start looking for a roommate. » she says and you look at her. « I have a spare room I’m not using and wouldn’t mind some extra cash. » you look at her confused, wondering if she’s saying what you think she is. « I guess what I’m saying is , if you need a place, you can move in with me. »

And that’s how you got here. The day you’re moving in with Melissa. And you’ve been freaking out about it for a week, your friend has been trying to help you pack and comfort you the best she can. You move your things into her place all day, you don’t have a lot of time to think about it until you’re standing in your new room, and it hits you all at once. Everything changed, different room, different house, different roommate, different end of the city. It all changed and you crumble to the ground and bring your legs to your chest and hug your legs and start rocking to comfort yourself.

« Hey y/n I made dinner and was wondering if… » Melissa comes by your room and sees you. « Y/n? You ok? »

You don’t say anything, you feel like you can’t talk right now, it’s all too much. You end up shaking your head and she comes over and sits on the ground next to you. She doesn’t say anything, she just wraps her arms around you and brings you in for a hug. And that’s when you break and start crying and Melissa rubs your back in a circular motion. The repetitive movement and the physical contact of someone you know soothes you. After a minute you pull back and wipe your tears off. And she just sits next to you for a few minutes, letting you calm down « Thank you. » you tell her when you feel like you can talk again.

« Not a problem. I know it can get overwhelming. But I can help you settle in so it’s not so scary. You like knowing about things right? » she asks and you nod. « Ok, well today I can show you around the house so you know where things are. And then tomorrow I can show you where I shop and you can decide if you like it or not. Then I can show you all the best places to get a bite to eat around here and anything else you want to know. » she offers.

« You’d do that for me? » you ask and she nods. « Why? »

She shrugs. « Because you’re a good person who just needs a bit of help. » she says and you smile at her.

« You know at first, I was a bit scared of you. » You tell her and she laughs.

« I knew it! » she says with a smile.

« But after getting to know you, and seeing how you are with the students, I realised how much of a softie you are. » You tell her and she glares at you.

« Don’t go telling anyone that! » she tells you sternly. And you put your hands up in surrender.

« Don’t worry I won’t, I know you got a reputation to keep. » You joke with her. « was there something you needed btw? » You ask her, remembering she was asking you something before she saw you on the floor.

« Just that I made dinner and wanted to know if you wanted something. I always make a lot. » she says and you beam. You’ve heard great things about her cooking but haven’t had any yet.

Turns out what they say about her cooking didn’t live up to how great she actually was. It was better than you thought. She did give you a tour of the house after supper and you felt a little better. You ended up watching tv with her and she stayed right beside you so that your arms are touching. She knows that close proximity with someone you know helps you calm down and process things.

For the next week you barely say anything. You’re more quiet than normal and you hide in your own head, in your own little fantasy world that you have complete control of.

Melissa has no idea what’s going on with you, and that’s when she starts actually looking up autism and how it affects the person and how they act and how to help them. She sees that if they’re dealing with a lot of big changes, they get overwhelmed and they either repress it and pull away from people or have a meltdown, it also says that they can repress it then have a meltdown. And that’s exactly what happens with you. Melissa was prepared in case it happened, it’s just how it happened and what you end up doing after, that shocked her.

You came home after going grocery shopping and slammed the front door. Melissa was dusting her table with all her pictures when you came in.

« You alright there sunshine? » Melissa joked and you glared at her. Melissa came from an Italian family, so glares didn’t even faze her. She went and leaned on the side of the couch and crossed her arms.

« I’m fine, just they didn’t have some things I wanted so I just walked out. » You said, trying to take your jacket off but it got stuck when trying to take your arms out and you let out a huff.

« Need help? » she asks with a raised eyebrow.

« No. » you snap and continue to struggle. « Ugh why is nothing going right! » Melissa walks over to you and pulls at the arm of the jacket and you’re able to take it off. You slam your jacket on the ground « stupid jacket! Stupid grocery store! » You half scream out.

« Hey it’s alright » she tells you and puts a hand on your shoulder trying to comfort you.

You gasp and turn to her with a glare before shrugging her hand off. « Don’t touch me. » you snap at her then try to calm yourself down. Melissa tries again, knowing that physical contact helps you and read that doing things that helps that autistic person calm down helps during a meltdown. « I said don’t touch me! » you tell her and back up to get away. You end up backing into a wall and you feel like everything is too much and you grab your hair and start freaking out.

« Y/n it’s alright » she says and you barely hear her. She wraps her arms around you from behind you and you scream at her to let you go and try to push her off but she hangs on. And then you start crying and fall to the ground and she follows you, still hugging you. You put one of your hands on her hand and lean into her. « it’s ok y/n, you’re ok. » she says, still hugging you from behind. She rests her chin on your shoulder and you relax more into her. After about a minute you sit up a bit and she removes her head from you. You turn around and in a wave of confidence, you lean in and kiss her.

She kisses you back and she feels you smile. You pull back and look into her eyes. « R u ok y/n? » she asks you after it seems you’ve calmed down.

« I think mostly, it’s still a bit hard for me, I’m still processing everything. » You tell her and she gets an idea. She helps you back and tells you to stay there for a second. She goes over and turns on her Bluetooth speaker and it connects to her phone. She opens her Spotify and clicks on a song. The song starts playing through the speaker and you instantly recognize the song, it’s the Macarena.

« Come on I’m sure you know the moves. » she tells you when you raise your eyebrows at her. She pulls you away from the wall and goes behind you and moves your arms to the music with the moves. You start laughing at her goofiness but eventually you start getting into it and she lets your arms go and does the moves with you. At the end of the song, your both laughing and having a great time, then the next starts playing and it’s ‘can you feel the love tonight’ from the lion king. Melissa just goes with it and holds out a hand for you to take. « May I have this dance? » she asks you and you giggle and you take her hand.

She brings you close to her and puts one hand on your shoulder and moves her hand in yours to the proper position and you put your hand on her waist. She starts doing the waltz with you and you’re surprised. She ends up being a really good dancer.

« You seem surprised. » she tells you.

« I am, I’m wondering if there’s something you can’t do. » you tell her and she laughs. « I’m being serious, you’re an amazing teacher, your meals taste like heaven, you can waltz really well. I wouldn’t be surprised if you knew a second language. » you tell her as a joke but looks at you with a smile.

« Conosco Italian. » she says and you look at her. « That means I know Italian. »

« I was actually joking but at this point I’m not surprised. » You tell her and she giggles. The song ends but both of you don’t pull away. « thank you btw. You’ve helped me so much. » You tell her with a smile and she smiles back at you.

« of course mia carina. » she tells you.

« Ok now you’re just showing off. » You joke and she laughs. Then she puts a hand around your neck and kisses you and you kiss her back. It’ll take time but Melissa is willing to help you with all the changes and to make her house feel like home to you.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

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'tis the damn season | Chapter 5

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Julie/Cece (OC, no physical description)

Word count: 4.8K

Note: This chapter includes brief mentions of miscarriages.

Synopsis: After six years away from home, Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin was finally going to make his parents happy and surprise his family by spending Christmas in Magnolia, Texas. Introducing his pregnant fiancee to his family is a culture clash, with rural Texas meeting California influencer. Though unhappy in his relationship, Jake knows he has to buckle down and do the right thing with a baby on the way.

The last person he expected to run into was his high school sweetheart and the one that got away, Julie.

The holidays are already going to be hard enough for Julie. Her home baking business, which had started as a fun side project, exploded after a few TikToks went viral. Just when she was getting the hang of juggling her job and business, tragedy struck. Facing her first Christmas as an orphan, the last thing Julie expected was to hear that once familiar nickname - Cece.

After almost a decade apart, Jake and Julie can't help but feel that old familiar spark. Even with the realities of their lives pressing in, they can't help but wonder what might have happened if just one of them had fought for their relationship all those years ago.

Chapter 4 | Master List | Ao3

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Chapter 5

The ride back to the ranch was quiet, interrupted by the buzzing of Jake’s phone. Fanboy had apparently found Shayla’s video announcing the pregnancy and sent it to the Dagger group chat.

Merry Christmas. And congrats Hangman?????

The squad chimed in with their half-hearted congratulations and pointed comments that they hadn’t expected to find out about the first Dagger baby online. After scrolling through the first few messages, he silenced his phone. When they approached the main house, he barely waited for Will’s truck to stop before throwing open the door and heading inside. “Merry Christmas, asshole!” his big brother called through the window before heading off to the foreman’s quarters and his pregnant wife. 

Jake knew he was being an asshole. Will had done nothing but be honest, but he didn’t want to hear those hard truths. 

“You gotta let her go. It’s not fair to you or her or Shayla.” 

And he knew that. He’d gotten his hopes up after running into Cece in Austin and started thinking about how to convince her to give him another chance. He’d been two years into his eight-year obligation after finishing flight school and had even thought about promising her that he would resign from the Navy after completing it. But when she stopped answering his texts and calls, Jake realized that it had just been a bathroom hookup for her. Especially when she’d ignored him the next year when he’d tried to say hello in the grocery store. 

Watching the love of his life walk away from him for the third time was one of the hardest things Jake had to do. Which is why he’d avoided coming home for the last six years. It was easier to get over heartbreak if he wasn’t reminded of her at every turn. There wasn’t a place in Magnolia that wasn’t associated with some memory of Cece. 

And the longer he was away, the easier it was to forget. It took a long time for him to not see her favorite flower and think of her. To stop reaching for his phone to call her when something exciting happened or he needed someone to talk to. To not want to send her pictures as he traveled to places they’d imagined visiting while lying in bed together, dreaming about what their life would be like. 

It had only taken seeing her in his mama’s kitchen for all those feelings to rush back. Even as the woman he’d promised to marry and was carrying his baby stood in front of him, Jake didn’t want to hurt Cece by saying that Shayla was his fiancée. He’d caught that brief flicker of pain on her face before she’d smiled, and he’d reminded himself that it was her choice to leave. That, no matter their history, they didn’t have a claim on one another. Which is what he tried to remind himself as he watched the firefighter kiss her. Just because he’d promised to be her first and last kiss didn’t mean anything. 

But now he wasn’t so sure it was her choice that she left. Had he pushed her out by keeping his deployment secret? 

Jake’s musings were cut short when he opened the door and heard his parents talking in the kitchen. Kicking off his boots and hanging up his coat, he crept toward the stairs until Pops called, “Jacob? That you, son?”

“Yes, sir,” he sighed, letting go of the banister and walking toward the kitchen. Mama and Pops sat at the table, holding hands as they drank their nightly cup of tea. For as long as he could remember, this had been their evening routine - spending twenty minutes together, usually after he and Will went to bed, just to talk and spend time with one another. Even when Pops moved to the foreman's house for a few weeks when Jake was 16, not long after Will had left for college, they would keep up their nightly talks. 

“Have a good time in town?” Mama asked, watching her youngest pour himself a glass of water. 

“Saw lotsa folks I haven’t seen since high school,” Jake shrugged. “Good to catch up with ‘em.” His parents shared a look before Mama pushed to her feet. 

“I’m heading up.” Jake caught how she used the table to help her stand and the grimace as her bones cracked. When she neared, he noticed the sad, tired look in her eyes before she crooked a finger at him. Leaning down, he couldn’t help but smile when she brushed a kiss on his cheek. “Night, baby. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Mama.” After patting his chest, she rinsed her mug and put it in the dishwasher before leaving.

“Pull up a chair.” Though said lightly, the order in Pop’s voice was unmistakable. Taking his water with him, Jake sat beside his father and scrubbed a hand through his hair. At the older man’s heavy sigh, he hung his head, feeling like a kid again. “Son.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“For?” 

“This trip hasn’t gone as I thought it would.” Pops hummed, and Jake glanced up at him. 

“It’s certainly been an interesting few days.” Jake huffed, shaking his head. When Pops cleared his throat, he forced his gaze up. The older man looked tired as he ran a hand through hair that was more grey than brown these days. “Your mother and I were talking about it, and… we’d like you to have a conversation with Shayla about respect in this house.”

“Pops - ” Holding up a hand, the older man sighed. 

“I know she’s your fiancée, but this is my home. And respect for others is an expectation here, as you know. Right?”

“Yes, sir.” Bill hesitated for a moment before pressing on.

“I know that you and Julie have… a complicated past, but that girl is family. She was long before the two of you got together. And she will be respected as such. What Shayla did was unacceptable, especially after I opened my house to Julie to get her work done. I expect her to apologize.”

“I… I’ll try.” Pressing his lips into a thin line, the older man breathed heavily through his nose before sipping his tea. Like his mother, when Pops stood, Jake could see the effort it took. His parents weren’t old - just in their mid-50s - but life wasn’t easy when you did daily physical labor. Bill and Kerry Seresin dedicated every day to maintaining the ranch and making sure that there was something to pass on to their boys. But seeing the difference in them since his last trip to Magnolia made Jake regret that he hadn’t come home sooner.

After setting his mug in the dishwasher and starting it, Pops clapped a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “I’m headed up. I’ll see you for chores?” 

“Yeah.” Nodding, the older man walked toward the hallway, pausing in the doorframe. 

“I love you, son. But I don’t like the person you are now. I don’t recognize him.” 

Jacob Seresin wasn’t a man who cried. He could count on one hand the time’s he’d done it since turning 18, but those words, filled with disappointment, hit him like a bullet through the chest. Tears sprang to his eyes as he hung his head in shame. 

He didn’t recognize himself either. Hadn’t for years.

Not since Cece left him. 

He’d told himself that she just needed time. That they would find their way back to each other. Before she got into her car to start the drive back to Texas, he told her that he would be waiting if she changed her mind. They’d agreed to keep talking when she got home to see if they could fix it. But he still didn’t know how to tell her he was deploying in two months because that would mean telling her he’d known all along and kept it a secret. 

Finally, the night before he left, Jake told her he’d been called up for a last-minute mission. Cece had been silent for a long time - what he’d taken for worry but now recognized as her seeing another lie - before telling him to be careful. She’d agreed to email him while he was gone, and their messages had been sporadic. 

And then he saw the pictures of her with someone else once she was back in Austin, and his heart shattered. So, he focused on making himself move on. And the more he focused on making himself forget her, the more he became Hangman. His callsign, given to him not long after he got drunk in flight school and let it slip that he’d talked his childhood sweetheart into pushing back their marriage, haunted him daily. So, he leaned into the idea that he was unreliable. That he would put himself first. Because it hurt less to embrace the idea that he would leave his fellow pilots out to dry than the woman he loved. Hangman was cocky and didn’t give a shit what others thought of him. 

Women didn’t look at him with expectation, and for a little while, that was freeing. The first time he’d slept with someone else, he’d groaned Cece’s name into her neck and had been rightly slapped. But as time went on, he was able to forget about her for a little while. He dated and tried not to compare the women to her. 

Meeting Shayla had been an accident. He hadn’t known it then, but she’d gone to the Hard Deck intending to make a video about military guys. Jake had gone there, planning to have a beer or two before returning to his new house and unpacking. Word had come down while they were on the way back from the uranium mission that he was issued orders to relocate to North Island. Slowly, the other Daggers were notified of their new orders as well. 

But that January night, Jake had been alone, toasting his new three-year contract. Lost in his thoughts about where he’d imagined himself being at this point in his career - married, with a kid or two - he hadn’t noticed Shayla until she was beside him. She’d startled him out of his thoughts by asking what was good there, and that was that. They’d ended the night with him teaching her to play darts and exchanging numbers. 

Being with Shayla was easy in the beginning. She hadn’t expected too much of him, which was good as he settled into his new part-time instructing role. She was happy to fill his silence when he came home tired from work and unable to talk about what he did. When it came to dates, she was more than willing to plan where they went. And by the time he realized that the videos and pictures he thought she was taking for herself were being posted online, her followers had grown. When he asked her to stop, she’d pleaded with him to let her keep doing it - that she was trying to launch a career from it. 

And, against his better judgment, he’d agree to keep her happy. Try as he might to ignore it, the filming got more intrusive, and he felt himself getting less comfortable being around her. Those rare moments that he could just be Jake with her were lost, as she wanted to show off her “cocky pilot boyfriend.” 

For once, he welcomed the series of short deployments he was sent on, anticipating the change of scenery and time away. The only one he regretted was in late January when he woke to a call from Mama saying Mr. Ryan had passed. He wouldn’t be stateside in time for the funeral, as much as he would have moved heaven and earth to be there for Cece. But from across the globe, he struggled to pick up his phone and call her. Hearing Cece upset when there was nothing he could do was a certain kind of hell, especially when he couldn’t even hold her. When he was back, he debated asking for leave to go home but decided against it. Cece’s silence spoke volumes; the last thing she needed was him intruding in her grief. So, instead, he asked Mama to pass along that he was thinking of her whenever they talked. He’d opened a text to message her a few times but closed it every time, convincing himself that she’d changed her number.

Until one night, he’d opened it only to find three blinking dots. Heart in his throat, he’d watched it for nearly fifteen minutes before they disappeared for good. 

Jake wasn’t sure what flipped in him that August morning when he’d gone to Cece’s profile and typed out his annual ‘Happy Birthday’ message. He found himself scrolling through her pictures far enough back to find ones of them together. Pausing on one from her graduation from UT, he couldn’t help but smile, remembering how nervous he’d been that weekend. Having been given leave at the last minute, he’d almost drained his bank account to get a red-eye flight Friday night to get to Austin in time to surprise her. While waiting for her to cross the stage and accept her diploma, Jake formally asked Mr. Ryan for permission to marry his daughter. 

Sighing, the older man had nodded. “As long as you don’t ask her this weekend. Let this weekend be only about her.” The ring had been burning a hole in his pocket, but if that was the only thing Cece’s father asked of him, he could wait another week until his commissioning. 

When he stored his phone in his locker and left for the carrier mess hall, Jake knew he had to end it with Shayla. As ready as he was to commit to someone and get his life back on track, he knew it wasn’t with her. He didn’t feel like he could relax around her - could never lower his guard in case her camera was rolling. 

And then, as his brother accused him of doing, he thought with his dick on Halloween instead of his head. As much as he wanted to move on, Jake wouldn’t leave his kid behind. The night Shayla told him she was pregnant, he’d gotten drunk and tried to think of a way to convince her to give him the baby. She’d never mentioned wanting kids, and he would never keep them from her. But she made it clear that she and the baby were a package deal - if Jake wanted frequent access to his kid, Shayla wanted to get married. If not, she would get a lawyer involved and point out how much he was gone during their relationship to prove that he would be an inconsistent parent. 

Hangman might leave his coworkers out to dry, even the love of his life, but he would never do that to his child. 

So he’d agreed to marry her. But now, seeing how Shayla treated the people he loved, Jake knew it was time to set his stipulations. That started with respecting his family and apologizing for the drama she’d caused. It ended with a long engagement and time with a couple’s therapist before they married. 

As he climbed the stairs, Jake knew that Shayla would again demand that he cut contact with Cece. And, as much as it hurt to imagine never seeing her again, Jake would agree to that. If he had to trade his past for his future, he would. 

Julie smiled as Drew spun her, tugging gently to draw her back into his arms. Christmas music played as he leaned down to brush his lips to hers. Shaking off his hand, she stood on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck, tugging him down to kiss him again, smiling against his lips when he pulled her closer. His hands were warm on her hips, and she felt butterflies in her stomach. It’d been so long since anyone had held her like this. 

Swaying as the song ended, Julie looked up in time to see Will Seresin grabbing his coat and standing, a wad of napkins soaking up spilled beer on his table. Their eyes met as he tugged on his jacket, and he gave her a strained smile before walking out of Mikey’s. “I think we pissed off your ex,” Drew said, chuckling softly. 

“What?” 

“He just stormed out.” Julie felt her stomach drop as she lowered her arms, looking around the bar to see people looking at her and whispering. A blush crept up her face as she forced her chin high while grabbing his hand and retreating to their table, knowing that a new chapter had been added to Magnolia’s ongoing Jake and Julie saga. 

Which was stupid, she thought, dropping into her chair and taking a sip of her beer. They had ended things so long ago, and he was getting married and having a baby. She was single and had every right to kiss another man. It was no one else’s business - especially Jake’s. But if he’d just made a scene, she would be the one to have to deal with the fallout of it, just like she always did.

The gossip is what had driven her from Magnolia when she’d come home to lick her wounds after Virginia. Julie had naively thought people wouldn’t ask why she was home instead of living with her fiancé. Why she no longer wore the engagement ring on her left hand. But almost every time she stepped out of the house, someone remarked about it. Even running into Ally was hard - for as long as they’d known each other, the two women had expected to be sisters-in-law, but now they were nothing. Thankfully, the Seresins hadn’t turned their back on her and were supportive and happy to see her when she saw them in town. She knew that they, like Jake, were hoping that this was just a bump in the road on the way that led to them getting married. 

But they hadn’t seen Jake in Virginia. They hadn’t seen him laughing with his buddies on the beach as her heart broke, listening to the spouses talk about the upcoming deployment. Hadn’t spent every single day waiting for him to come clean and tell her that he was leaving again. That she would be alone, away from her friends and family, in a place she wasn’t sure she liked for seven months. None of them crawled into bed alone and tried not to cry when he crept back in late at night. 

After a month, it became too much. Daddy had come home from the firehouse to find her crying after being asked at the gas station why she was home when she should be with her fiancé, her former classmate pointedly glancing at her empty ring finger. “Julie, I want you to listen to me,” Daddy had said, holding her tightly as she sobbed. “You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you’re back. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. If Jake didn’t realize how much he was asking of you without doing the minimum of being honest, he didn’t deserve you. You deserve to be the center of someone’s world, not an afterthought.” 

Daddy helped her pay for an apartment in Austin for those first few months until she got back on her feet. She avoided returning to Magnolia for a long time and loved hosting her daddy in the city. Her friends encouraged her to go out, and Julie found herself exploring and enjoying herself in a way she hadn’t for the almost six years she’d lived there. Once Jake had deployed and their communication was limited to emails, it felt almost like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She no longer had to listen to him mumble a soft “I love you, baby, I miss you” as they ended the call or his offers to buy a plane ticket so she could come to visit him. 

Hesitantly, she’d dipped her toe in the dating pool. Her friends set her up with guys or gently nudged her toward someone when they would go out dancing. And, at first, it felt wrong. The first time she slept with someone else, she’d gone home and cried in the shower. As much as she tried to enjoy the feeling of someone else’s touch, she couldn’t stop comparing it to Jake’s. It ended with that guy shortly after, and Julie decided she would only casually date. 

That night in Austin had proven just how little the Jake Seresin-sized hole in her heart had healed when he’d crashed into her life again, tearing down her defenses like tissue paper. For a moment, as he held her while dancing, she’d let herself imagine what would happen if she took him home. Maybe they’d just needed two years apart to experience life before finding one another again. She’d missed his touch, his laugh, and how safe she felt in his arms. But the pregnancy scare had reminded her how much his arms held her back. 

And then, the first time she went back to Magnolia, she ran into Jake. The chance run-in had made the whispers start up again, and Julie cut her trip home short. She knew it hurt Daddy, but he understood when she left the day after Christmas rather than staying for another week. 

So, seeing people look at her and whisper in the aftermath of Jake making a scene made Julie want to leave. The longer she sat there, the more she gave them to talk about. As if seeing the hesitancy in her eyes that could no longer meet his, Drew cleared his throat. “You alright, Jules?” 

Taking a deep breath, Julie straightened her spine and swiped at the condensation on her beer. “I’m fine. Just… Do you ever feel like you’ve outgrown a place?”

The corner of Drew’s mouth lifted before he sipped his beer.

Jake paused outside Shayla’s door and took a deep breath before knocking. When she called for him to come in, he opened the door to see her sitting cross-legged on the bed. “Hey.”

“Oh. You’re back,” she huffed, rolling her eyes. Sighing, Jake crossed the room to sit beside her, waiting for her to take her eyes off the computer screen. “What?” she finally demanded. 

“I want to talk.” 

“I’m working.” 

“Shayla.”

“Jacob.” 

“Please.” Breathing out heavily, she scowled at him.

“Are you going to yell at me again?” Sighing, he scrubbed a hand down his face.

“No. I’m sorry for raising my voice earlier.” Sniffing, she set aside her computer and stood. 

“Fine. I’ll be right back.” With a groan, Jake fell back onto the bed, putting a hand over his eyes. She did this whenever he tried to confront her with something - he would say they needed to talk, and she would make him wait at least five minutes before doing it. He recognized it as some way to make sure that they did it on her terms, and it annoyed the hell out of him. 

Her computer chimed with a text somewhere around the two-minute mark. Jake glanced at it instinctually - the screen was angled toward him but partially closed. He’d closed his eyes when two words registered: rainbow baby.

Without thinking, he reached out to swipe the mousepad to keep the computer from going into sleep mode as the screen darkened again. Once Shayla’s video editing software was minimized, he saw the text thread with her best friend, and his blood ran cold at her last message.

Yessssss! Then you can say you have a rainbow baby and get so much more interaction 🌈 🤰

Jake felt his stomach drop as tears sprang to his eyes. Shayla had miscarried and hadn’t told him. 

But then the second text appeared.

Gotta have him fuck you, though. Can’t fake a test if he doesn’t touch you

Sitting up, he grabbed the computer and scrolled further up to read their chat. And felt the sickening combination of grief and relief. 

Fuck you. We just need to get home and away from this hick town. Once I have my Jakey back, it’ll be fine

The message popped up, and he couldn’t help the watery chuckle that escaped. Apparently, Shayla had her phone with her and was responding. The usual flash of irritation at being called Jakey was smothered under the tidal wave of emotion. 

And there it was.

Quickly, he took screenshots of the chat and sent them to himself, downloading them onto his phone. He felt sick as he looked at the texts again. 

“What are you doing?” Shayla asked, standing in the doorway. Her eyes darted from the computer in his lap to his pale face. Closing the laptop, he stood. 

“Was it ever real?” 

“Was what real?” At his blank look, she took a step forward. Moving to keep the bed between them, Jake glanced at her stomach. “W-what do you mean, Jakey?” she asked, putting a hand on her flat stomach.

“Don’t lie to me.” The words were hissed through clenched teeth as Jake’s hands fisted. It made horrible sense.

“I’m not!” 

Not once had he seen her sick in the morning.

“I swear!”

Her refusal to let him go to the doctor with her. 

“Jake, stop being an idiot,” she stomped, tears glistening in her eyes. 

Her constantly trying to sleep with him before they left California, even when he said no. 

“Were you ever pregnant?” he demanded. Her eyes darted from the computer back to him before she wrapped her arms around her middle.

“I-I miscarried a-and didn’t know how to t-tell you!” 

Lifting his phone, he pulled up one of the screenshots and read it. “Maybe he’ll actually knock you up this time, so you don’t have to pretend.” 

The blood drained from Shayla’s face, the phone falling from her limp fingers. “J-Jake…”

“Were you. Ever. Pregnant?” 

“Yes!” A cruel laugh burst from him, and Jake spun on his heel, gripping his hair. 

“Who are you lying to, Shayla? Me or your best fucking friend?!” The texts were seared into the back of his eyes when they closed.

You can probably buy a fake test

Did you see the views on the last video????????!!!! Wait until we do the official pregnancy reveal!!! I’ll talk him into doing a cute one 

Fuck, he passed out before we had sex. Fucking drunk asshole

It’s too late to say you’re still pregnant. Tell him you miscarried???? He won’t leave you if he thinks that

“I’m not lying! Baby - ” Her hand landed on his shoulder, and he jerked away from her. 

“Don’t fucking touch me,” he snapped. Running a shaking hand over his mouth, Jake quickly brushed away the tears on his cheeks. 

There was never a baby. 

He was never going to be a father.

He’d almost married a woman he didn’t love.

“Jake, please, just - ”

“I don’t want to hear it, you fucking lying bi - ”

“What’s going on in here?” Mama demanded, tucking her robe close to her body. Her eyes darted from Jake to Shayla, taking in the tears on both their faces. Behind her, Pops frowned. 

“Noth - ”

“Don’t fucking talk to them,” Jake yelled. “I can’t BELIEVE I brought you here and made excuses for you being a - ”

“Jacob Thomas,” Pops cut him off. “What the hell is going on.” Ignoring his father, Jake leveled his gaze on a trembling Shayla.

“Jakey, I - ” When she reached up to cup his face, he caught her hands, a disgusted smile crossing his mouth when his eyes landed on the ring he’d put on her finger. 

It was all a lie. 

Dropping her right hand, he held her left and quickly tugged the gaudy thing from her finger before letting go of her and taking a step back. “I want you out of here tonight. Take the rental and get the fuck out. I don’t ever want to hear from you again, you manipulative, psychotic - ”

“Jacob!” His watery eyes rose to see his parents' worried expressions. “Son, what - ”

“Looks like you’re only having one grandkid,” he said softly, shoving the engagement ring into his pocket and taking another step away from Shayla. She reached for him, her nails raking his arm as he walked past her. 

“Jakey!”

“What?” Mama asked, eyes widening in shock.

“I’m sorry,” Jake said quickly, kissing his mama’s head before pushing past her and stomping down the stairs.

He could hear his parents calling for him and Shayla crying as he put on his boots and hung the rental keys on the peg, swapping them for his mama’s truck keys.

Slamming the door behind him, he hurried down the steps, breath misting before him. The gravel crunched under the tires as he sped off, windshield wipers doing their best against the snow as he let himself cry. 

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Author's Note: Another huge thank you to @mamachasesmayhem for helping me tread the line with this chapter, and making sure that Jake's anger came off as realistic without going overboard.

Now we know why Julie has been so guarded with Jake - she's always the one dealing with the fall out in Magnolia. And, as much as Jake loved her, he was holding her back. Kudos to Mr. Ryan for wanting just one weekend for the attention to only be on his daughter's accomplishments.

Aaaaand Shayla. I'm really happy that people picked up on her not being pregnant 🫣 There's still a lot of drama to come, so buckle up!

Read Chapter 6

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[theflashesoflove]

obstacle II

Larissa Weems x f!reader (nsfw) – series

part I :: part II :: part lll :: ao3

a/n: thank you to everyone who showed me some love for the first chapter!! i am very very smitten (and quite nervous). let's see how all of this goes from larissa's point of view. there are some inconsistencies with canon events (not to mention that larissa is alive, which she very much is in canon as well, we all know that)

warnings/tags: unhealthy online relationship, dom!larissa x sub!reader dynamics, sexting, implied masturbation, angst, insecurity, guilt – you get the vibes

chapter word count: 3.7k

Part II: she puts the weights in my heart

It was a blissful evening, but Larissa’s inner state was nowhere near bliss. Nevermore was finally back on track after the horrible Hyde situation, yet Larissa lagged behind in adjusting to the new reality. It wouldn’t be this hard if she didn’t spend two weeks in hospital after being poisoned by Laurel Gates – she never went on vacation, she never took additional days off, and being away from her principal duties certainly slowed her down. Especially when she absolutely hated being patronised by doctors and nurses who didn’t want to discharge her from hospital no matter how many times she snarled and threw tantrums about how extremely important it was for her to get back to work. Even after finally nagging her way out earlier than a proper healing process required, Larissa still couldn’t shake the feeling of being out of place. It felt as though all of her efforts had reset to zero and she had to start everything all over again – negotiate with the new Mayor, establish a reverent relationship with the normie population and mitigate the consequences of Hyde attack among students. Her mind was still weak after she was nearly lying on her deathbed, her heart was still heavy knowing what her students had been through. The only thing that stayed the same even after the incident was her relationship with you, and she would hate to admit that it only added to her problems. She was constantly followed by guilt, all-consuming and unmerciful. 

Larissa didn’t like to feel like a bad person. Life had taught her that if she wanted to achieve something, being her charming and ambitious self wasn’t enough – she had to be clever and sly, sometimes even manipulative and ruthless. She had good intentions, but the only language the world around her could understand was a language of fierceness. Larissa could always come up with an excuse for her problematic actions when it came to protecting the school, but she could never come up with an excuse for being dishonest towards you. 

Some of the students gathered in the yard after the classes were over, sitting in small groups and enjoying one of the last warm days of September. Larissa wished to return to her school days and be as carefree as they were in that moment, laughing and gossiping and perhaps worrying about their first love. A small smile crawled on her face as she looked out of the window – students seemed to adjust after what had happened more successfully than their Principal did, but this fact made Larissa hopeful that she would catch on soon. One detail, however, was still out of place. A tormenting reminder of Hyde attack, the destroyed tower that was off limits for students and hurt the Principal’s eyes like a grain of sand. Perhaps the upcoming renovation could finally calm her heart. She stepped away from the window to return to her chair and looked at the clock – her last meeting of the day was supposed to start five minutes ago. As soon as she decided to check if there were any new messages from you and reached out for her phone, she heard a confident knock on her door. Larissa moved her chair closer to the table and opened her laptop while inviting whoever was waiting for her response with a light “Come in!”. Deep down Larissa was glad that the architect got there a little late, she really needed those extra five minutes of solitude to catch a breath after a rather tense meeting with the new Mayor. 

To catch a breath, that was immediately stolen away from her when you walked in. 

At first, Larissa thought she was hallucinating. Her mind was undoubtedly playing games with her, she just had to blink the mirage away. But you were still there even after the woman closed and opened her eyes a few times, and your lovely voice was like a slap on her face – it’s real, it’s real, you are real and you are here.

“Terribly sorry I’m late. I had to stop for petrol,” you murmured, closing the door behind you. 

Larissa couldn’t move. You never told her that you were an architect, you never told her what your new project was about, you never told her that you knew anything about reconstruction. You just entered her office like a deadly storm, and Larissa had to act professional somehow. It felt as though she was doused with ice cold water, as though she was blinded and deafened, as though she fell down in her sleep and woke up in cold sweat. She couldn’t feel her own breathing, she wasn’t aware of her surroundings anymore. However what felt like an eternity of catatonia lasted only for a split second, and Larissa’s stupor was followed by a sheer panic. You swiftly approached her desk and extended your hand, introducing yourself, and suddenly Larissa was very aware of it all – of how rapidly her heart was beating, of how hot her cheeks grew, of how painfully her stomach flipped when she saw your oblivious smile and felt the softness of your hand as she met it with her own, moving on autopilot. All the formal interactions she practised every day became entirely foreign concepts to her, and she kept rudely staring at you, at a loss for words.

The circle of lies and secrets she had created backfired on her with its full force, leaving her trapped with you in the same room. When you entered Larissa’s office, she already knew what your name was. When you shook her hand, she already knew what that hand did just a couple of nights before, teasing your body on camera for her. When you spoke, she already knew how that voice sounded when you were on edge. She already knew your every curve, your dirty fantasies and what you were capable of for her – no, for Lydia. Every little detail of you was shared with non-existent Lydia, but it was Larissa who always was on the receiving end. Larissa knew, Larissa knew everything, she wasn’t supposed to be the one who knew it, but she couldn’t run away from it.

You pursed your lips and shyly touched the backrest of a chair that stood in front of Larissa’s desk, and it alerted the woman that she still didn’t invite you to sit down. “Ah, yes, yes, please, take a seat. I am sorry, it’s been a rough day,” she uttered, looking around her desk in search of something to hold on to. She found a pen and clutched it in her hand as she listened to the rustle of you pulling out the chair and sitting across from her. 

“It’s alright, I won’t keep you long. For the first meeting at least,” you gave her a small smile, and Larissa’s whole being buzzed from anxiety, her nerves completely destroying her professional composure. “Our manager has already drawn up a contract, I just need you to read through it, check if everything’s right, and sign it. In two copies,” you reached in your bag and pulled out a thin folder with documents, “one stays with you, one stays with me.” You handed Larissa the papers and she immediately busied herself reading through them to avoid making eye contact with you. 

Words seemed to melt together, and Larissa couldn’t focus on the content of the contract for the life of her. She knew that you were patiently watching her, presumably seeing her struggle to read a few pages. Her mind drifted away once again, agitated that at any moment you could recognise in her someone who sent you dirty messages and kept you in the dark about her real personality. Larissa scanned through the contract, not paying attention to the formalities, because her brain was occupied with calming her heart down. You couldn’t possibly know that Larissa was Lydia, or the other way around, you couldn’t possibly recognise her, because she never sent you pictures of her face. The only bits she’d shared were her legs and her- her hands… Could you recognise her hands? Her manicure? Larissa’s mind raced as she hesitated for a second before taking a look at you to see you scrolling through your phone. She carefully dropped the pen and brought her hands on her lap to shift her nail colour to something, anything else. A second later she grabbed the pen again and saw that her nails got a different shape and were painted silver. It wasn’t a bad choice, Larissa thought, but it was a very unusual one. And you wouldn’t even notice the insignificant change, would you? She felt ridiculous for caring about such a small detail, but it calmed her nerves a tiniest bit nonetheless. 

Larissa looked through the contract again, and she was glad that she found it in her to do so, because she noticed a mistake, “It doesn’t say anything about the installation of a new heating system,” she noted, looking up at you. 

You put your phone away and frowned, “Did you mention it while talking to our manager?”

“I… I suppose I forgot. Can we add it to the list though? The tower was the only part of Nevermore that never got decent heating, and we always had to cancel lessons in the observatory during cold seasons.” Larissa internally winced at how unusually weak her voice sounded.

“Of course. I will notify our manager and bring you a new contract. It’s a good thing you noticed, usually clients don’t pay much attention,” you said lightly. 

“I hope it won’t be a bother, it’s easy to forget things while looking after hundreds of teenagers at once,” Larissa handed you the papers back.

“No, no, it’s alright. I must admit, I never realised that being a principal might be this stressful. Not saying that it’s easy, but… just never really thought about it.” You gave Larissa an awkward smile. It was precious to her. “I was planning on seeing the tower and taking a few pictures. And maybe there will be something else you remember about?”

“Oh, right, right. I’ll lead the way.” Larissa stood up, nervously smoothing the fabric of her skirt. 

The meeting proceeded in the school yard, Larissa watched as you carefully observed the tower ruins and took pictures from every possible angle. Ironically, Larissa was glad that she finally wasn’t the centre of your attention.

“The top part is completely destroyed,” you mumbled to yourself softly, craning your neck to look up at the damage that was done to the part of the building, “I cannot even imagine what could have caused it, especially in a school. It couldn’t have been students, could it?” You turned to look at Larissa who stood at a discreet distance. 

“Well, I suppose it could. But it wasn’t their fault. It’s… hard to explain.” Larissa was surprised to see that you probably didn’t know what exactly was happening at Nevermore just a few months ago. After a small pause, she asked, “Is it necessary to completely take down what’s left?”

“If you’d prefer to leave the remaining parts, I can work around it. We’ll just have to reconstruct the top…” you were focused on the ruins and Larissa couldn’t help but think how enticing you looked while doing your job. Now that the two of you were outside it was much easier to breathe, and Larissa could freely admire your form – not that she didn’t have enough opportunities to admire it before. Oh, and the way your beauty was even more outstanding in real life. You were dressed for work, and for Larissa, a woman who deeply valued her appearance in the office, it was the most delightful, the most attractive sight to see. Your little smiles were much brighter in person, your hair looked soft and your shape was unsurprisingly smaller compared to Larissa’s. It made her want to cover you with her body and hide you in her arms. Tearing away from inappropriate thoughts, she internally cursed herself and tried to pay attention to your words. “It seems like a pretty solid construction, It could have stood for centuries,” you mused, touching one of the old mossy bricks. “But we’ll find the materials to blend in beautifully,” stepping away from the tower wall, you approached Larissa. “I’ll have the first renders ready for our next meeting and we can discuss anything you would like to add or get rid of.”

“Very well,” Larissa breathed out, not expecting you to come this close to her. In fact, she was only being dramatic – you maintained a professional distance. “I… I look forward to it,” she forced a smile that barely touched her lips.

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Once you left, Larissa felt anxious all over again. She realised it was only a matter of time before you wrote to Lydia, and how could she continue all of this, knowing full well that she would have to see you every week and work with you on the renovation? How could she pretend to be just a mere stranger, a put-together principal and continue to secretly order you around, to send you filthy messages and not feel like shit about it? Guilt gnawed at her, it made her nervously pace her office, completely unable to finish her work for the day. Perhaps her lies had to come to a halt, and that meeting just marked the beginning of the end. 

Larissa never thought that the first conversation she’d shared with you would lead her into this kind of relationship. She never tried shopping for antiques online, she didn't even bother to properly fill out her profile information on the reselling site – she just wanted a peculiar-looking record player, but you forgot to take the advertisement down after selling it. It was a pity, she really liked that old little thing, but in the end she was blessed – or rather cursed – with something much more interesting. Next thing Larissa knew, both of you engaged in discussing music and, gradually, you started sharing some innocent facts about your life. Larissa thought it was fun – she hadn't had a conversation about something not related to her job in ages. Then, you started texting her more frequently and Larissa couldn’t help but tease you for it. You seemed to like her teasing tone and started playing along. It made her more confident and bolder with her words – she would never admit it, but sometimes she blushed at her own messages; it wasn’t because she was shy, it was because of the image in her head, the fantasy of having you just the way Larissa wanted. What was worse, she smiled like she was young and carefree again whenever she got your response. With you she felt more at ease exploring this passionate and provoking side of her, feeling a tad smug when you reacted to her ambiguous messages in the most adorable way. It aroused a thrill within her, a deep interest and longing for more. 

However she was awfully scared of bringing this into real life, knowing that she had accidentally set the bar too high, and that you would surely be disappointed to learn that behind those messages was a woman who was overconsumed with her work and actually quite dull as a person – that was what Larissa thought of herself. After a week of your rapidly developing relationship, you texted her, i just realised i never got your name! – and Larissa didn’t know why she lied. It was a good idea at the time, she assumed that sooner or later you would become bored even of this bolder version of her, and giving you her actual name wouldn’t change anything. To her surprise and secret delight, it wasn’t the case. You accepted everything she offered you and didn’t ask uncomfortable questions. Just once, though, you suggested meeting somewhere for dinner, and Larissa politely refused, saying that she wouldn’t have the time for it in the foreseeable future. It wasn’t entirely a lie, but Larissa knew that if she wasn’t such a coward, she would have found all the time in the world to see you. 

Being in love was unhealthy for Larissa. It was painful and distracting from her work. It made her dizzy and nauseous, certain that the object of her infatuation would never reciprocate her feelings. It happened once, twice, it happened enough times to make her hopeless and stern – her heart couldn’t take it anymore. Deep down she always craved intimacy and touch, but even occasional one-night stands made her stumble and sense an unpleasant cramp in her stomach once they were over. Lydia was a clever barrier that, Larissa hoped, would catch her when she would fall again. She wasn’t getting too close, she didn’t allow herself to get attached, because Larissa’s heart was shielded by a mysterious and more confident image of a different woman. She was foolish thinking that this could ever work.

The messages you sent her had become a part of Larissa’s daily routine, and initially innocent and friendly conversations inevitably escalated into sexting. On some days, both of you exchanged only text messages, but more often you sent her nudes which made Larissa immensely aroused. Sometimes she would sit in her office, curtains drawn and door locked, basking in the warmth of the fireplace, drinking wine and waiting for you to finish recording your video. She’d watch you shaking and squirming and accidentally moaning Lydia’s name instead of the mistress title. It didn’t happen often, but when it did… Oh, how she wished to be Lydia. To be the woman you were so close to, whom you trusted with everything, whom you cared for. How she wished that she could give you what your kind soul deserved – honesty. A minor lie about her name evolved into an entire net of secrets. Larissa embellished her image, drifting away from reality. She gave all the credit to Lydia, who was fun and enticing, who deserved to be loved and wasn’t afraid of her fantasies – in Larissa's head Lydia was everything that she wasn’t. In Larissa's head her real self was the one who was only rejected and forgotten, whose beauty wilted years ago and whose charm was only suitable for overpowering her business associates. She didn’t even give herself a chance to be proven otherwise. 

The darkness finally settled around Nevermore, cold air whistling through the windows all over the dim empty halls of the school. Students were back to their dorms and Larissa observed the empty yard, tense and restless. She tried to breathe deeply – it didn’t help. Just as she’d expected, you sent her a picture a couple of hours after the meeting. You were laying on your side in pretty light pink lingerie, inviting and painfully lovely, what can i do for you tonight, mistress? 

Normally, Larissa would open the messenger and tell you all the things she wanted to do with you. She would order you to be a good girl for her and send her a video of you touching yourself – making it all nice and pretty, exposing your flushed skin and releasing heavenly sounds. She would bring herself to the edge, groaning under her breath and revelling in the power she had over you. Then, she would praise you and tease you further, just to bring you the lightest mood for the night. Maybe she would even send you a picture in return, but it was a rare occasion, when Larissa was too tipsy to overthink it. This time she couldn’t do anything. She didn’t open the messenger – she looked through the notification from her lock screen – she didn’t tell you how much she wanted to see you pleasuring yourself for her. She chose to ignore you. And it made her feel absolutely horrible for the rest of the night. There were dozens of unanswered emails on her work laptop, and after it became unbearable to be alone with her feelings, she busied herself with answering them in a rather harsh tone, venting her spleen at whoever needed something from her. Her head ached. Her heart squeezed inside her chest. She was angry at herself, fearful and bursting with guilt from knowing that her little game had to come to an end and there was no place for Lydia anymore. From knowing that it was going to hurt you. 

A few hours later she received a new message from you, are you still at work?

She could sense your worried tone through her screen. It wasn’t usual for Larissa to leave your messages unanswered until morning. Only once, when she was in hospital, was it taking her too long to reply. She was physically unable to respond to your messages, though she explained it to you in advance, saying that she got terribly ill, but her recovery went smoothly. It left no room for unneeded concern on your part, you just hoped that Lydia would be fine.

This time, however, there was no adequate explanation. Larissa still didn’t answer. She tried to go to sleep at her usual time but ended up staring in the darkness, guilty, awfully guilty. If her exhaustion hadn’t finally forced her to fall asleep, she would have seen your message in the dead of night, lydia, is everything alright? – you couldn’t sleep again, but this time Larissa was the one to blame. 

She saw your message in the morning but didn’t reply. Her heart was heavy the whole day, and she drowned out the pain with more work; insufferable meetings, Wednesday’s outbursts and ignorant parents. Larissa would never say that she hated her job no matter how difficult it was – she didn’t tire easily, but her soul was worn out. That was why she never let herself be swallowed by feelings that were even remotely close to those of romantic love and affection before. That was why making an exception for you was a terrible mistake. She received a few more messages from you during the day and hid her phone in the desk drawer to avoid seeing them. Larissa had always known that sooner or later Lydia would have to part ways with you – she couldn’t keep you in the dark forever. It was a necessary sacrifice for her own peace of mind, and the two of you got business to do, after all. 

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💌: @scream-queenlover @kimiinou @gwendolinechristieiscute @weemssapphic @imprincipalweemspet @gwenslucifer @im-a-carnivorous-plant @evanivox @ctrlamira

(tell me if you want to be added to the taglist <3)

[meo-on-prairie]

Pulmonaria

Gojo Satoru x Reader

Prompt: “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love // The slowest way is never loving them enough”

Words count: 2844

Tags: ANGST, SO MUCH ANGST, fluff if you take out the James Webbs Space telescope, pain train all the way, not a happy ending, mention of blood and death, idiot to lovers a little too late, it’s not happy, highschool au, hanahaki au

Rambling: if you see this fic as “Pulmo flower” this is the revamp of that lmao, I posted it years ago and deactivated my entire account cuz i was insecure about my creativity, but i’m working on that. By re-releasing what I think is my proudest work. Please listen to “High Infidelity - Taylor Swift” and “Heather - Conan Gray” for this fic. 

/////

XX03 Daisy: innocence 

He gave me a Daisy when we first met— a wildflower he picked at the entrance of the playground, shoving it in my face as I sat on the swing. Grinning from ear to ear when he asks, “will you be my friend?”. And every birthday from then on, without fail, Daisies would be shoved to my face. Those damn Daisies occupied my lungs, took my breath away. 

XX09 Sunflower: unconditional love 

We’re inseparable, attached by the hip. It’s easier to count the times where we’re not together. I don’t know when it started, but he became my air, although sometimes it was hard to breathe, it’s hardest to breathe when he isn't near. The pressure in my chest became so great that it often forced out violent coughing fits. They are often violent and painful, sometimes unbearable, they feel like my lungs are trying to force something out that is incapable beyond reach. Until one day, those violent coughs forced me into unconsciousness. 

White. The first color that I saw when I opened my eyes. Cold and harsh white of the hospital room. the color white, it’s in everything I hate. White is the color of the hospital room glaring at me mockingly, laughing at the fact that I have a weak body. White is the color of snow signaling the arrival of winter and the freezing uncomfortable cold. White is also the color of his stupid hair, a painful reminder of someone I can never have. I hate the painful white color. 

But maybe the color white isn’t so bad if it allows yellow to shine so brightly. The Sunflowers on the table caught my attention from the corner of my eyes, the flowers warmed up the whole room instantly, funny how a speck of yellow can warm up the cold white room. The small note of the familiar handwriting attached to one of the flowers makes the flowers shine even brighter. "Get well soon! :( love and miss you a lot ~ Satoru". Slowly, painfully, I can feel the sunflowers blooming, occupying another space in my lungs, making it harder to breathe, especially without him. 

XX11 Cornflower: young love

Legend has it that Cornflowers were worn by young men in love; if his love was returned they would remain bright and fresh, if not they would wither away quickly. He gave me Cornflowers during freshmen orientation. Everything about cornflowers was annoying, the color was too bright and it hurt my eyes. It's a weak flower and dies easily, withering in two days. It reminded me of how similar I am to it, weak and annoying; both wither away when our love is not returned. But at the same time, it gave me hope… 

“Why Cornflowers?”

“They just look bright and pretty, something vibrant for a new chapter in our life right?”

“Right… of course.” 

Of course, there wouldn’t be any deep meaning to them. Hope is for fools.

XX14 Heather: admiration

November brings around the freezing cold of winter, I have always disliked the cold, it made breathing harder than it already was. When the bell for lunch rang, I quickly packed my bag to go meet up with Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko at the cafeteria.

To my surprise, Satoru wasn’t with them. The three of us went to get food anyway since all the good foods will be all gone if we’re late to the line. Satoru arrived at the cafeteria a few minutes later, with an unfamiliar girl trailing behind him. 

“Sorry I was late, I was trying to convince someone to join us” he explained quickly before turning his body sideways, “We got paired together for a project for Physics, she just moved here so be nice to her.”

“Hi, I’m Areum” she spoke softly, her shyness written all over her face. She was absolutely gorgeous, the soft curls of her long hair framed her face perfectly. She has a small figure, the clearly oversized sweater she’s wearing made her look adorable, a sight for sore eyes. Compared to her I’m not even half as pretty.

“Hello Areum, I’m Suguru, I see you’re wearing Satoru’s sweater,” he said with a smirk, clearly enjoying the blush that quickly appeared on both Satoru’s and Areum’s faces. 

“S-She looked like she was about to freeze over in that room alright?!” Satoru defended hotly. 

“Sure thing buddy” Shoko joined Suguru on the teasing-Satoru-bandwagon before smiling at Areum, “My name is Shoko, by the way!”

I reached my arms out to flick Suguru and Shoko on their forehead, “stop teasing the poor girl!”

“Hi Areum, I’m Y/n, Satoru’s childhood friend, sorry you got stuck with that doofus for a Physics project of all thing” I joked, offering her a gentle smile while ignoring Satoru’s pouty complaints of something along the line of he’s not that bad at Physics.

Areum let out a shy giggle at my comment before sitting down to join our table. The four of us quickly settled into a comfortable atmosphere as we got to know Areum better, asking her the reason for her transfer so late into the school year, among other things. 

The entire time, Satoru’s eyes never strayed away from Areum’s face. His smile got wider every time she laughed. His gaze toward her made my stomach somersault and me feeling nauseous. They’re the same gazes I had toward him. It slowly gets harder to breathe as pressure builds up in my throat. I forced the cough that threatened to escape down, I was probably overthinking it anyway. 

But that feeling of nausea never went away. It only gets worse as the week comes and goes, especially when almost all of the conversations between me and Satoru had always led to her. I started to see him less and less since he always declined invitations to hang out with: “Sorry, I promised Areum that I would study Physics with her.”

Ever since Areum joined our little group, she got Satoru mesmerized. They’re practically attached by the hip, never one without the other. It was suffocating to see them together all the time. But how could I hate her? She was an absolute angel. Always speaking softly and gently, always kind to everyone around her. Hell, she noticed whenever I started to struggle for air when no one else did. I wish I could hate her even just a little bit, maybe then it wouldn’t be as painful.

XX15 Rose: romance  

February 14th, probably the most annoying day of the year. The school ground is littered with pink and red, people carrying flowers, balloons, chocolate, and stuffed animals in different sizes around, blocking up the already crowded hallway. 

Some couples walk around, others busy sucking each other face off in a corner, and god knows what some of those freaks are doing in the bathroom stalls. I wish this day would be over already, everything is suffocating. I make my way through the hoard of people professing their undying love to each other in the schoolyard. Finally, I reached my first-period class, reaching my hand out to tug open the door when I heard my name being called. I turned around to see Satoru with one hand waving in the air like a madman and the other carrying a single pink rose. 

“Y/n! Hi!” He greeted me after coming to a stop in front of me.

“Good morning to you too, Satoru,” I said with a smile.

He shoved the pink rose he’s holding to my face with the bunny smile gracing his lips, “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

I guess some old habits die hard after all, “Thanks, Satoru” I chuckled lightly as I accepted the flower. 

We stood there for what felt like forever until he started, “Y/n, so I----” the bell ring cutting Satoru off.

“Shit, gotta go, my first class is on the opposite side of campus, I’ll see you after school okay? Bye Y/n” He said quickly before running off. 

What was he about to say? Curse that damn bell, I swear that thing has the worst timing. I look down at the pink flower. The pink petals look soft and fluffy, a small pink rose starts to bloom in my lungs along with budding of hope. “No Y/n, you idiot, didn't you say that hope is for fools? Stop it before you get hurt!”. But I know it's already too late, I can't seem to control the smile that's growing on my lips and the fluttering of butterflies in my stomach. 

Maybe... Just maybe... he feels the same way. Maybe I was wrong about his feelings toward Areum. After all, he gave me a rose, the one flower that shouted “love” louder than any other flowers. This could be my chance to tell him how much he means to me. Suddenly, Valentine’s day became the most exciting day of the year. Bringing the rose closer to my nose, I can't wait to see him after school...

When the last bell signaling the end of the day rang, I practically bolted out of the room to meet Satoru at our usual spot. Excitement filled my body, I felt lighter than ever, but also nervous at the same time.

I arrived at the schoolyard to see a huge group of people crowding around in a circle blocking the way to our usual spot. I rolled my eyes as I prepared mentally to push through the crowd. 

With great difficulty, I started to join the crowd and maneuvered myself through the hoard of people while repeating "excuse me" over and over again. Eventually, I reached the other side of the human barrier, I breathed deeply and prepared to do it once again before looking up. The sight that greeted me when I looked up filled me with dread. My stomach dropped and I felt nauseous. The flowers in my lungs are multiplying, making it harder to breathe. I can feel my heart tighten up in my chest. 

Standing in the middle of the circle of people is Satoru, holding a bouquet of red roses, looking as handsome as when I last saw him. Light pink coating his cheeks, there is nervousness in his eyes as he stands in front of Areum, who is having both hands covering up half of her face. Surprises grace her beautiful form. Standing behind them are Shoko and Suguru, they're both holding up a giant sign that reads "will you be my Valentine?" with a glittery cursive font. Both of their faces show excitement as they look at Satoru and Areum. 

I held my breath as I prayed for whatever deity above for her to say no. Unfortunately, they seem to hate me with a burning passion. I watch as she nods slowly before exclaiming "yes!". I watch as Satoru lets out a sigh and then smiles brightly. The same smile that can light up the whole room. The same smile that makes me fall hopelessly in love with him. I watch them walk toward each other as people around them cheer loudly. I watch as Satoru shyly gives Areum the rose and she accepting them just as shyly. I watch as they embrace each other with wide smiles gracing their lips and people hollering and wolf-whistling around them. 

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. The flowers are multiplying too quickly, filling up my lungs, making it almost impossible to breathe. I need to get out of here. I turned around abruptly, forcing my way through the crowd of people. Once I'm out of the circle, I break into a sprint. I ran and ran and ran and ran. I don't know where, I just want to be as far away from that crowd as possible. My lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen, but I kept running until I could no longer hear the cheering of people and dropped down to the ground. 

I tried inhaling to no avail. It hurt so much. Every time I try to inhale or exhale it would feel like needles are being scraped against the walls of my lungs. It's painful, no, fuck that, it's torturous, everything hurt like hell, the pain is agonizing. It makes me want to rip out my heart and lung and throw them far away to ease the pain in my chest. 

Pressure slowly builds up in my throat and it gets itchier and itchier forcing me to let out a cough. That cough is followed by another one, and another one, and another one until I'm coughing uncontrollably. My body doubled over and shook violently as I wheezed for air. I covered my mouth with my hands as I coughed into them. I choked violently before I felt wetness on my hands. 

I pulled my hands away from my face and looked down on them, holding back another cough. In my hand, a pool of blood and flower petals. The warm yellow of sunflowers, the cold white of daisies, and the gentle pink of roses are being dyed by the red of blood. Tears blurring my vision as I throw myself into another coughing fit. More blood was forced out of my body along with more flower petals. 

Suddenly my lungs started to burn even more. I cough harshly as something bigger than the petals force its way out of my throat and onto the floor, joining the existing puddle of blood. A pink rose. Soon enough the more flowers and blood forced their way out of my body to join the puddle of blood under me where the rose and flower petals lie. It hurts like hell with each cough, but... It became easier and easier to breathe after each time. 

When the last daisy fell into the pool of blood, the coughing fit stopped. The burning stopped along with the pain in my chest. The numbness I felt was almost exhilarating. My body felt lighter than ever, it felt like I was floating on clouds. I take in a deep breath and slowly exhale as darkness takes over me. 

XX16 Tiger Lily: “Please love me”

A figure of a man holding a bouquet walks silently toward the cemetery. His lean frame is adorned with a thick jacket to protect him from the harsh cold of winter, his form feels lonely as if a part of him is missing, gone from this world completely. The sun is setting over the horizon, coloring the sky in bright orange and pink. But Satoru couldn't care less, his world has lost all of its colors a while ago. The beauty of this world only appears dull to him, nothing can be pretty in a world without her. 

He walks solemnly through the cemetery, passing by the countless headstones. Until he reached one in particular. The headstone looks relatively new compared to the ones surrounding it. The writing on it read: "Y/n, XX97 - XX15, 'Loving you silently'". 

Satoru kneels in front of Y/n's grave as tears slowly spill from his eyes, blurring his vision. He placed the bouquet of Tiger Lilies in front of her grave, joining the other flowers that were already there from visitors earlier that day. He sat there regretfully silent as tears spilled from his eyes. 

"Hey Y/n, How have you been?" he greets.

"I hope you’re doing well.” He lets out a forced chuckle, "Everyone has been missing you. Especially your mom, she cried everyday for months after you’re gone. She has been doing better now though, so you don't have to worry too much, I’ll take care of her in your stead."

Satoru let out a shaky breath as more tears spilled out from his eyes, “I miss you every damn day, I miss you so much that it’s hard to breathe. Fuck, I can’t look at daisy flowers without crying anymore!"

“I miss your smile that brightened up the whole room. I miss your eyes that held the universe. I miss your comforting voice” he said while choking up as tears fell harder from his glistening blue eyes, "But more than anything, I miss you who felt like home...”

“I’m sorry for being an idiot and realizing when it was already too late, you deserve so much better than my pathetic self” He sobs pitifully.

Satoru sat there with his back hunched over as tears fell endlessly from his eyes. At that moment, he looks small and fragile, as if we would break from a single touch. With each passing minute, it got harder and harder for him to breathe. His lungs begin to burn as the pressure slowly builds up in his throat, forcing him to violently cough up flower petals and blood. When the coughing fit died down, he pulled out a handkerchief to wipe the blood off of his lips. Slowly, he stood back up before glazing at the headstone longingly. 

“I’ll see you soon, Y/n,” he whispered with a bitter smile as he began to walk away.

[shouldhavebeenpersephone]

In GTN chapter 36, Cytherea says “None of you have learned how to die gracefully. I learned over 10,000 years ago"

Do you know/have a theory as to how Cyth could have learned anything pre-resurrection? She was not one of the original lyctors present for the resurrection and it was only 10,000 years ago. It could be hyperbole but I am suspicious of the “over 10,000 years”.

Thank you so much for the ask! I wanted to take my time with it, I hope you didn't mind the wait.

I actually had been chewing on this with my most recent GtN reread. Bear with me as I cut and paste all the pieces that form my thoughts on this - hopefully it's somewhat coherent to read.

Could "over 10000 years" be a hyperbole? Maybe. A lot of characters tell the 'truth' as far as they believe it to be so even if it's factually incorrect. I don't think, however, that Tamsyn would make Cytherea say it in this specific way if it was a hyperbole. In GtN chapter 35 where Palamedes confronts Cytherea we get the following lines, which are what feed my intuition about this:

"Don't lie to me, please."

Dulcinea said, "I have never lied to any of you."

Cytherea has no reason to lie, especially not after being confronted by Palamedes. She tells him herself - she has been giving pieces of the truth and using those to manipulate the narrative. Because of this and because it's much more fun if it isn't a hyperbole I see no point to dismiss it as an emotional inaccuracy.

So let's say she is over 10,000 years old. How does that work?

First thing I went looking for while trying to figure this out was the question of Cytherea's birth. On the fandom wiki, it states that Cytherea was born into the established Seventh. I have been combing through the books, and I cannot find anything in canon that truly confirms this. What we do know of the timeline and her age is the following from HtN chapter 9:

"When they first brought her to Canaan House, I thought there'd been some mistake. - She was just shy of thirty then, I recall. -

-Was she the first gen, or second?"

"Second," said God. "Early second. We were still experimenting with getting the Sixth installation up and running. Some of the Houses were empty."

Mercymorn spoke up: "No. We had it running by then. Because Valancy was with us, and Anastasia."

-"Yes, you're right. We were all there to meet her. All sixteen of us -

'Some of the houses were empty' is the important line here, because in NtN John 5:4 Harrow describes how the resurrection happened:

-You resurrected some of them. You wake up fewer still. You start out with a few thousand, then, later, some hundred thousand, then millions, but never more than millions. You teach them how to live all over again. You teach yourself. -

The houses are named in order of resurrection. The Seventh, then, comes after the Sixth, which should make it obvious that by the time Cytherea arrived the Sixth was already established - or the Seventh wouldn't have existed. Yet, for some reason, for John this is not as obvious. I have found what could be an explanation in HtN chapter 2:

He said, "No. I haven't truly resurrected anyone in ten thousand years. But at that time... I set many aside, for safety... and I've often felt bad about just keeping them as insurance. They've been asleep all this myriad, Harrow, -

The difference wouldn't be as obvious to John, because he didn't resurrect the houses one by one. He resurrected a chunk of the earth's population, kept them dormant, and piece by piece woke them up to populate the houses. Beyond the fact that Cytherea is never said to have been born on the Seventh in canon (again, to my knowledge - please correct me if I missed it), the following from HtN chapter 2 really seals the deal in my eyes that she was not born on the Seventh but rather woken up for the Seventh.

The emperor said gently, "She needs to go home, Harrow."

"That was never her home," he said.

You did not look. "And will the Seventh House accept her?"

I also considered John might feel Cytherea belongs at home with the other Lyctors and therefore denies that the Seventh is her home, but then remembered the following from the same chapter:

He said, "No Lyctor has ever returned home, once we understood the reprecussions... no Lyctor except one, who knew I would come to intercept her for that very reason."

He is talking about how Harrow cannot go home to the Ninth, and referring to Cytherea going home by returning to Canaan house located on earth. John also talks about the kind of people he resurrected in NtN John 5:4:

-We'll get them all back... some of them, anyway... or at least, the ones I want to bring back. Anyone I feel didn't do it. Anyone I feel had no part in it. Anyone I can look at the face of and forgive. -

Part of the same chapter I included above in combination with this one make me itchy almost. Harrow says 'You teach them how to live all over again.' That almost feels like it should be people who recently learned how to live. Like John only resurrected kids.

Think about it. He resurrects his loved ones and ones he can forgive. People who did not take part in the destruction of earth in his eyes. Who other than children could he really be talking about? Children, babies, who have no power to decide or influence to exert, who - even if they did have the power - do not have the capacity to understand the consequences of their actions. Whose memories will be easiest to erase because there is so little to begin with.

It then also makes sense why there were two generations of Lyctors. The population he woke up had to grow up into adults first. Why else would he have half a band of Lyctors trying to settle all of the Houses? If he was able to pick adults worthy of resurrection, he would have been able to pick adults capable of establishing his houses and becoming his hands and gestures.

One final point that drives this home is the following from the very beginning of GtN in chapter 7 when Teacher tells the Ninth about Dulcinea's condition:

"Dulcinea Septimus was not meant to live to twenty-five,"-

Dulcinea's hereditary disease is the same as Cytherea's. John did not know she was sick when she first was brought to Canaan house, which means that when he resurrected her, she must have been young enough to not be actively dying yet. Perhaps a toddler or a child who had been sick for some time - long enough to know what it feels like to slowly be dying.

So, all in all, my answer is that Cytherea was not born on the Seventh. I am not sure where the idea that the second generation was born on their planets of origin came from, but I honestly doubt any of them were born instead of woken. Cytherea claiming to have learned something 10,000 years ago would be a great way for Tamsyn to give us just enough to figure it out - this is, after all, the same author who gave us the big reveal of the second book in the first sentence of the first book of her series.

[foap-enjoyer]

Drugging | Sick | Poisoned

Sick.

'Soap thinks he's got just a simple cold. Nope. Anyway, cue blizzard safehouse one bed trope because I'm lazy'

Trigger warnings for this prompt: Vomit. Ships for this prompt: Sort of the start of Ghoap? Ghost is very affectionate, more or less.

The one my lovely tumblr people voted on all those days ago! :)

Read it here, on AO3: Ouch. - Chapter 5 - Tsukuyomi_Ravioli - Call of Duty (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

~

Missions in Russian mountains were becoming way too common. 

At least, that’s what Soap thought.

There were positives to mountain missions, he supposed. There were positives to everything. A beautiful view; clean, fresh, untouched air. Sometimes, on long missions, he would even see rare wildlife, animals which had never seen a human before. They would peer at him through the brush, eyes bright and curious. Sometimes, some would even come over, eat a bite of whatever he had on offer before scrambling away. He liked those pros.

But the cons? Well those fucking sucked. The cold, firstly. The cold sucked- oh, and don’t forget the lack of signal, which meant no far-lined comms, no phones, no nada. Just him, his team, and a shit ton of snow, usually for days at a time. It could drive even the most social of men insane.

Oh, and to top it off, as a little added bonus for this mission, because that’s just how he rolls- he was sick. Not super sick, mind you. It’d started off as a cold, when he’d woken up pre-mission. At least, he assumed it was. Itchy throat, ugly cough, his usual first symptoms. 

In his childhood, he would have curled up into a tiny, sniffling ball and let his mammy hold him, and soothe the pain away just with her touch. But now, he was a fully grown man. A grown man who worked in a job that, unlike being a student in school, would not tolerate a day off. Especially for something as small as a cold.

So, brushing his teeth, tying his laces, and grabbing his bag, he went out to face the day head on. Like a soldier would.

~

He really wished he was still seven, still at home with his mum.

This… cold was no fucking cold. This was a parasite worming its way into every orifice of his body, a disease spreading through his blood, an alien forcing itself inside his chest, taking control of every nerve and joint and muscle until he was nothing but mush.

Fucking cold his ass. If this was a cold, maybe it was time to retire, because he clearly was getting too old for this shit.

The harshness of the Russian wilderness didn’t help his case one bit. 

They’d landed at their respective drop-off points. Price and Gaz were on the complete opposite side of the mountains to him and Ghost, and the plan was to meet in the middle, where he and Gaz would infiltrate the government-owned set of buildings as Price and Ghost ran overwatch on the outskirts. A simple enough plan, until the blizzard hit.

“You’re telling me that higher-ups can plan entire wars to a T, if they wanted to, but they can’t check the fucking weather?”

That was Gaz, voice static-y through the comms. He sounded pissed, and of course he was, he was allowed to, given their situation. Hell, Soap was too. Price sighed, and Soap could imagine him rolling his eyes at the younger man, “There’s nothing we can do about it, Sergeant, so quit whining. Ghost?”

Ghost was behind him, using his path through the heaps of snow surrounding them to guide himself, and his sniper-kit through the rocky terrain. He could hear the man grunt as he lugged the heavy bag over a large rock in their path. “Yeah, Cap?”

“There should be a little safehouse just a few klicks North of your position. Fancy taking a wander over there? Can’t do shit if this storm keeps up like this.”

Ghost grasped Soap’s shoulder, altering his course slightly up the hill, rather than downwards. Soap’s knees wobbled with exhaustion, but he didn’t have much of a choice. Back up they go. “We’ll take a look. What’re you two doing?”

“Cap’s looking now, says there’s a cave nearby.” Gaz huffed out a laugh, “At least you guys get an actual house.”

Soap chuckled softly, his teeth chattering together like a talkative parrot, “Send me a pic if you find a bear in there, Kyle, would you? You know they’re my favourite animal.”

“Will do, prick.”

The comms silenced soon after. Soap assumed it was because, like them, Gaz and Price were having to hike a while to get to their location. The mountains weren’t the steepest, deadliest of mountains, but in a blizzard as bad as this one, you needed full concentration. 

The wind was at its peak now, whistling through the canyons of the snowy wilderness, spiking him right through his clothing with its cold crystals of air and ice. If it weren’t for his deathly grip onto the passing uncovered roots of mountain-grown trees, he’s certain he would have fallen right off of the cliff-face by now. 

He felt numb, his whole body was ice-cold. He was trembling, at least, which was a good thing. Meant his body was still working. Ghost was still behind him, lagging behind slightly, preoccupied with lugging his bags as well as checking their location. When he’d last trusted himself enough to look back, the man had been busy checking a little grey piece of technology, the blue light reflecting in his snow-white mask. 

He knew that the little ipod-like thing hadn’t initially been supposed to be used to find this supposed safehouse, but rather help Ghost angle himself correctly when it came to overwatch protection. For later in the mission. At least higher-ups had been courteous enough to give them some form of direction in case of an emergency.

“Should be over this last hill!” Ghost startled him with his shout, even if he barely heard it over the wind. A hand clasped his shoulder when he stumbled, startled, and he could see a gloved finger in his peripheral, pointing in said direction. When Ghost spoke next, his voice was in his ear. “Through those trees.”

He nodded.

Another twenty, maybe thirty minutes, and they finally, finally came upon the house. If he was honest, it was more of a glorified shed, maybe. At least from a distance. No windows, one door, a little wooden building sat nestled between a few cut-down stumps of previous trees. Maybe the wood used to make it? Probably. 

The door had been locked, but a sharp boot to the lock had solved that issue. Their fingers were too numb to pick the lock anyway. 

Inside, it wasn’t too bad. There was a little fireplace, a sofa- actually no, it was a pullout sofa-bed, actually. In the other room, the only other room, a tiny kitchen. That was it, really. It wasn’t the worst safehouse he’d seen (he’d give that to the one he’d stumbled into, half stabbed, in Romania a few years back), but it wasn’t the best either. It didn’t even have a bathroom!

Ghost got to work as soon as the door was closed behind them. He shuffled forward, dumping his kit on the floor as he began shedding his clothes piece-by-piece, dumping them onto the back of the sofa-bed. He was in the middle of taking his shoes off before he peered up at Soap, confused. “Johnny?”

He blinked. “Yeah?”

“Clothes.”

He blinked again, before nodding, fingers trembling, fumbling for his coat’s zipper, “Yeah, gotcha.”

“No inappropriate joke today, Sergeant?”

He shook his head tiredly, “Too fuckin’ cold, LT.”

A soft huff of a laugh, and Ghost placed his boots against a nearby wall, tugging his soggy, icy mask off. Frost clung to his eyelashes, and calloused fingers rubbed at them. Once the majority of the white was gone from the hairs, Ghost’s eyes were on him again, eyebrow curled, “Soap?”

Oh. He was staring again. He shook his head, going back to fumbling with his stuff. “Sorry.”

If Ghost was worried, he didn’t say anything about it. “I’m gonna go look at the kitchen for some food.” He said instead, “You get the fire going when you can. You’re right, it’s fucking freezing.”

He watched as the man turned his back and waltzed into the kitchen. Which, technically, was simply an extension of the living room. All that separated them was a tiny archway, after all.

Once he finally got his coat off, and tossed onto the floor, was when his body began to fail him.

“Ghost…?”

“Yeah?” Ghost turned, peering at him from the other room, his eyes dark in the dim lighting of the safehouse. “What’s up?”

“I don’t…” He swallowed harshly. The room was beginning to spin violently, and he reached a hand out desperately to clutch onto the nearest object, that being the sofa. “I don’t feel so good…”

“Johnny?” Ghost’s voice was starting to fade out as he fought to keep himself upright. 

Something was buzzing under his skin, warm and itchy. Sweat pooled against his neck. He had been cold only a moment ago, freezing, even… What was wrong with him? “Simon?”

A hand on his shoulder, “I’m here.”

“I think…” His stomach coiled, and he squeezed his eyes shut with a soft hiccup, “‘m gonna be sick.”

“Alright, alright.” Simon’s hands wrapped around him, guiding him forward, towards the small kitchen. But as soon as his hand released its deathly grip on the sofa, Soap’s knees gave in. 

He would have hit the floor if it weren’t for Simon, who took his weight with a grunt, barely managing to move them forward off of carpet and onto tile before Soap vomited.

“Easy, Johnny,” He could hear Simon attempt to soothe as he retched, fully held up in the older man’s arms. He felt limp, boneless, “Easy.”

His world continued to spin violently as he heaved, the cold tile on his knees sharply contrasting the horrible burning sensation consuming him whole. He whimpered, trying to squirm away from the heat inside him. Simon just held him tighter. “It’ll be over soon.”

“I-” He retched again, dry heaving over a steadily growing pile of vomit. His eyes stung, and he choked on a sob. “Fuck-”

A hand pressed into his forehead. “You’re burning up…” Simon muttered softly, “Fuck, Johnny, why didn’t you tell me?”

He hiccuped, turning to press his head under the crook of Simon’s neck. He was crying, he could feel the familiar wet warmth soaking into the fabric of Simon’s shirt. He wanted to apologise, but breathing was hard enough at the minute. His hands, trembling, clutched onto Simon wherever he could get a good grip, circling around the man’s back, holding tight. 

He swore a kiss pressed into his hair. He swore it. “You’re alright, I got you.” Simon’s voice was firm, and yet it was laced with worry. They were both hardened soldiers, he shouldn’t be sobbing like this over a simple sickness. It had to be something more, right? After a moment,  “Do you still feel sick?”

He shook his head.

“Okay.” Simon took a moment to think, to breathe. Soap. “Okay. I’m going to move you to the sofa, and then clean this up. Think you can move?”

He shook his head again. His knees felt like jelly, if he got up, he’d most definitely fall right back down.

“It’s alright,” Simon murmured, “I’ll carry you.”

With a quick rearrange of arms, followed by a soft grunt, Simon lifted him up. Instinctively, Soap clutched close, squeezing his eyes shut once more as his head spun. As soon as Simon settled him onto the sofa only inches away, he brought a hand up to his mouth, dry heaving into his palm once more. No vomit, this time.

A hand rubbed at his back. “Easy.” A hand in his hair. He leaned against it tiredly as Simon helped him lean backwards onto the old cushions. “Just breathe. It’ll help.”

As soon as he was sitting comfortably, the hands were gone. His eyes cracked open, looking around. Simon had just… disappeared.

“Si’?” He croaked, anxiety coiling. He hadn’t heard him leave, where was he? “Right here.” A damp cloth touched his forehead, and moments later the man was back in view, kneeling down in front of him. A bowl was given to Soap, settled in his lap neatly. “If you’re sick again.”

“Oh.” He rasped. Yeah, of course Simon would think to go grab something. 

A glass of water was offered next. His hands reached out shakily to take it, but Simon didn’t let go, instead holding the glass steady as Soap brought it to his lips, taking small sips. He pulled it away a moment later. “Not too much.” He reminded Soap, “It’ll make you throw up.”

He hummed tiredly. “I know.”

“Now you’re not puking your guts up.” The glass was placed onto a nearby old, dusty coffee table. Simon’s eyes were on him not long after. “Care to explain why you thought it was a good idea to come out on a mission when you were feeling like shit?”

“I didn’t feel bad this morning.” Which was true. Sort of. It’d, mostly, come on suddenly. “Once I felt sick, we were already off.”

“You could’ve still told someone.” Simon’s voice was soft, but firm. “Price, Gaz, me, hell, even the pilots. Anyone, Soap.”

“Sorry.” He whispered tiredly. “Wasn’t thinking.”

“I can’t get a hold of Price.” That woke him a little. “Signal’s shit. Blizzard is practically snowing us in, I think.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.” Simon sighed, hand reaching up to brush some blonde, stray strands behind his ear. “But we’ve got a while before we’ll need to check back in. So, we’ll just hunker down. Feel like eating?”

He shook his head. Simon’s eyes softened. “You need to, Johnny.”

He shook his head again, eyes drooping slightly. “‘M tired.”

“Alright.” Simon relented, biting his lip. “Alright. I’ll… We can eat later?”

He nodded. That worked. 

“You take the sofa,” Simon went to move, “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

He reached out, grasping his wrist. “We can share.” He murmured, exhausted. “It’s a sofa-bed.”

“Yeah, like a single bed.” The older man huffed, “I can take the floor.”

He didn’t let go of the man’s wrist. Simon didn’t pull away, either. “Just sleep here.” He yawned, “‘S easier.”

There was a pause, before a soft; “You’re not gonna puke on me, are you?”

He chuckled, eyes already closed, “Only if you snore.”

[nonsensical-gashi]

Merlin season 3, part 1! :v

• There's a 1 year breach between season 2 and season 3

• Merlin was way more insolent that any servant should be allowed, obviously, but he was open when being like that. He can throw a comeback to Arthur with many soldiers around. That didn't stop him

• Since season 2 Merlin is being more intelligent about the use of magic.

What I mean is that, if he wants to fight against a knight in a horse, he would use a spell to break one of the belts of the saddle. Also, he would magnetize the opponent sword so he can't use it. It is creative, and even if the effects are weird it is kinda subtle, at least more subtle that a fire ball where you can pin point the caster and everyone would be distracted by it.

• Morgana is back in the freaking episode 1. (⁠╯⁠°⁠□⁠°⁠）⁠╯⁠︵⁠ ⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

• Season 3 is more serious, and with less vivid colors. It start with the return of Morgana in a double episode. It follows up more events, and connects more situations, and therefore the consequences felt heavier.

• "She's the darkness of your light, the hate of your love" Kilgharrah talking about Morgana

• Also, some reference of the size of Kilgharrah.

• Kilgharrah has to obey the dragon lord. He has no choice. But Merlin seems to be more grateful and respectful towards him and his advice. Until he doesn't...

• Chp 5 note, Merlin still imposes his moral over Kilgharrah's wisdom, and orders him if he doesn't agree. It seems that he never understood the pov of Kilgharrah, and how he felt. "Saving x live is more important, even of previous or future crimes", it doesn't matter that x is Uther, the responsible for the extinction of the dragons and magic. It doesn't matter if it's Morgana, the one destined to destroy the Kingdom. Kilgharrah is really mad he can't say no.

• There's a sword next to Arthur's bed

• There's an odd placing of comedy chapters in this series. Those felt so out of place in the series. Specially when there's a comedy chapter that ignores morgana because she's the main problem of this season and "you shouldn't take this chapter so serious!"

• Merlin told Gwaine that he met his father almost a year ago, before he died. As far as Arthur knows Merlin never met his father. This could lead to an interesting discussion, especially because Arthur and Merlin were together all that time, and he never mentioned anything, not about meeting him less his father dying.

• In the first season Merlin was excited to see Arthur fight in the tournament (chap 2). In season 3 Merlin is already sick of those kinds of competitions and is not happy that he has to be there (mostly to protect Arthur).

• Cenred attack towards Camelot's Castle, and their loss in battle (when Uther wasn't available due to the Mandragora), can be an important moment for the people of Camelot. Arthur proved that was ready to be a King.

• Uther was open to magic if that meant saving Morgana

• Uther had an affair with Vivian, Gorlois's wife, went he went to battle (final battle?). "Vivian was alone".

I don't feel this was planned since season 1.

• Arthur called Morgana her sister in chapter 5.

• The "I have to do something because I have the power to do it" is powerful on Merlin. He's too good for his own sake.

• "Morgana should have died a long time ago" Kilgharrah. It seems that everyone survived season 1 thanks to Merlin. Uther, Morgana and Moldred should be dead by now.

• Merlin can talk about a vision that he saw in the crystal cave (the bloody origin of magic), and say how it's going to be true soon, and Gaius is "Don't think about it". He still prefers that Merlin does nothing related to magic to avoid risky situations (even if that is screaming imminent danger).

• Arthur throws stuff to Merlin with more frequency.

• Arthur "I used to fear the forest when I was a child" Uther led Arthur to the forest when he was younger. "It seemed that every falling leaf was a bandit or a ghost"

• Merlin is able to enchant animals to do simple commands. He enchanted a snake to attack Morgana.

I was one week without internet, and before that the place where I watched the series crashed..... That's why it took too long for this entry.

See more!

Season 1 part 1 part 2 part 3

Season 2 part 1 part 2

Season 3 u're here part 2

Season 4 part 1

Season 5 part 1

[tomhiddleston]

One More Tomorrow (Billy Taylor x Fem!Reader) - Chapter I.

Summary: When a new guest checks in to The Halcyon, Billy looks for any excuse he can to get close to her.

Pairing: Billy Taylor x Fem!Reader (third person)

TW: pure unadulterated fluff, Billy being an idiot with a crush, some light swearing, this fic is basically a romantic comedy

Word Count: 5k+

A/N: I haven't written fic in ages so I hope you all enjoy my Billy Taylor brainrot!!! This is part one of a three-part miniseries I have planned... with potentially more to come if people want more? !!! Also, we're all gonna have to make peace with the fact that our nameless young lady has a surname, lol

Also, thanks to @valeskafics and @aegonx for reading this through for me!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own any The Halcyon characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are never required but are always appreciated!

Art deco dividers by @saradika

Billy will always remember the first time he set foot in the lobby of The Halcyon. He’d come to work with his mum more than a handful of times over the years, especially when he was little. But, in those days, the only glimpse he got of what went on upstairs at the hotel was the silver serving trays that the waiters carried as they walked past his mum’s office. Seeing the lobby - the heart of the hotel - for the first time was like stepping into a different world. 

That was almost a year ago, now. Barely sixteen, with trembling fingers tugging at the high collar of his bellboy’s jacket. It was brand new and freshly pressed, so it had a stiffness to it that he wasn’t used to from the hand-me-downs that he usually got from his father. 

He followed Feldman up from the bowels of the hotel and through the door that had always been forbidden to him. What lay on the other side was something he could have only dreamt of. Towering columns carved from emerald green marble, glittering chandeliers, doorways trimmed with a rich, dark wood. The sweet smell of fresh flowers permeated the air. He wondered how it was possible for it to smell so strongly of flowers in a room so large. He reckoned his family’s entire house could fit inside the lobby four times over. 

The Halcyon was the most beautiful thing Billy had ever seen.

Until the day he sees her.

May 1939.

His morning starts as it usually does. Quick cup of tea in the hotel kitchen. Dodge a kiss on the cheek from mum. Check on the hotel generator. Head upstairs to begin bringing down the luggage of the guests who are checking out. 

The dreary, painfully normal morning eventually turns into a rainy May afternoon. Billy’s shoes eventually become so waterlogged from escorting guests inside with an umbrella that he can feel his socks squeak against the leather with every step. He’s whinging about it to one of the doormen when Mr. Garland comes parading through the lobby towards the front doors with Mr. Feldman in toe. And if The Halcyon’s general manager and head concierge are preparing to greet a guest, then they must be someone important.

“Come on, then, Billy!” Feldman calls to him. “Fetch the umbrellas.”

Billy deflates a little, knowing that there’s little hope of his shoes drying any time soon. Still, he’s dutiful as ever and meets the other men at the front door with the still-damp umbrellas tucked under his arm. 

“Is his Lordship back in town?” Billy asks Feldman curiously. 

“No, Billy,” Mr. Garland answers instead. “It’s a new guest and one that we’re eager to impress. Mr. Tobias Greene, of Greene Automotive.”

Billy’s face lights up. “Greene Automotive? Oh, they’ve got the fastest cars on the market. Their new Model F’s got an eight-cylinder engine. Three hundred twenty horse power! It’s got a top speed of two hundred kilometers… an hour…” His voice trails off as he sees the look on Mr. Garland’s face. “What’s he coming here for? Their factory’s all the way in Birmingham.” 

Mr. Garland peers outside, looking for the arrival of their new guest’s car. “Something about setting up a corporate office here in London, I think. But it’s best not to pry, Billy. You know that. And please, no gushing to Mr. Greene about his cars.”

Billy nods and Feldman laughs at the disappointed look on the boy’s face. 

Mr. Greene’s car arrives at a very punctual three o’clock on the dot and the men step outside into the pouring rain to greet their new guest. Feldman is the one to open Mr. Greene’s door. Out steps a tall, dark-haired man with a thick mustache and shrewd brown eyes. The handshake he offers to Mr. Garland is firm but friendly. Billy can’t help but be a bit starstruck. 

“Come along, my dear,” Mr. Greene calls into the open car door. “Don’t make your father wait in the rain.”

A corgi jumps out of the car and into a puddle on the sidewalk, splashing water up the front of Billy’s grey trousers. Great. He barely has time to groan about it before he looks up and sees her. Mr. Greene’s daughter steps out of the car with the dog’s leash in her hand. It’s lucky that Billy is standing close enough that she is covered by the umbrella he’s holding because he’s frozen solid at the sight of her.  

If he was starstruck seeing her father, then he’s completely bowled over by her. She’s dressed in a beautiful fur-lined coat and has her hair done up in those curls that all the ladies are doing these days. Not a single strand is out of place. She looks like she’s just stepped off the set of a new picture or out of the pages of one of those magazines his mum reads. 

Her eyes meet his and it’s like he’s been struck by lightning. He wonders for a moment if his heart’s stopped beating. He sees her lips move but doesn’t hear what she says. How could he, when he’s so transfixed on her beauty? Plenty of good-looking women have walked through the lobby of The Halcyon, but not a single one of them could ever compare to her. 

Billy comes crashing down to earth again as the sound of the car door closing breaks him out of his trance. He’s not supposed to talk to the guests. Greeting them is Mr. Garland’s job. But he can’t help but squeak out a nervous “Welcome, my lady.”

She smiles in response and he melts. 

“Thank you.” Her voice is warm and sweet. Prettier than any melody. The little chuckle that leaves her is even lovelier. “But I’m no lady.”

Billy stumbles over his words, knowing that he’s mucked it up. His eyes widen and both hands move to grip onto the handle of the umbrella. “Y-yes, miss.” 

They all make it barely halfway to the front doors of the Halcyon when she turns to the car with a gasp. “Oh… my gloves. I left them in the car…” Her tone is pensive, more like she’s making a mental note not to forget them later than anything. 

But Billy, desperate to please her, springs into action without so much as a word. He’s at the car door in three long strides, only realizing that he’s left her standing in the torrential rain, umbrella-less, when Feldman snaps his name from atop the hotel steps. When he turns back, her suede gloves in hand, he sees her huddling for cover beneath the umbrella that Feldman is holding for her father.

He can almost feel the daggers in both Feldman and Mr. Garland’s eyes pierce through him, but then he sees the smile that creeps onto her lips. She’s drenched, the fur on her coat matted against her shoulders and her perfect hairdo ruined. But she’s smiling. 

When her lips part in a laugh, Billy knows he’s done for. Even if it’s him she’s laughing at, for being such a bloody twit, she’s laughing and he gets to hear it. If it was the only sound he ever heard for the rest of his life, then he would die a happy man.

Mr. Greene is not as charmed by Billy’s foolishness as his daughter, raising an outstretched hand for him to hand over the gloves and let them get inside. Billy can’t look the man in the eye as he places her gloves in his hand, but he does manage a small, sideways glance at her and sees that she’s gone all pink in the face. Just like him, he reckons. 

The Greenes are put up in separate but adjoining rooms on the second floor. Billy watches as Mr. Garland ushers them up the marble staircase. Feldman gives him an earful for what happened outside, but all he can think about is being the one to bring her luggage to her room. To see her again, maybe even talk to her.

He very nearly pushes the other bellboys over as they begin to bring the Greenes’ luggage inside. Despite their obvious wealth, they’ve traveled lightly in comparison to many of the other guests the Halcyon receives. Billy counts her suitcases. Only four. He can manage four on his own, can’t he? 

Feldman pinches the bridge of his nose at the sight of Billy, two large suitcases tucked awkwardly under each arm, lumbering up the stairs and nearly taking out one of the guests along the way. 

When he makes it to the room that she’ll be staying in, he has to scoot sideways through the open door to even make it inside. He’s huffing and puffing from the exertion but manages not to drop the luggage. As he sets them down gently, he looks up and sees her. She’s removed her drenched coat and is standing in the doorway to the bathroom, toweling off strands of her wet hair. There’s a warm glow around her from the sconce on the wall that makes her seem almost luminescent. 

He should say something… or leave now that he’s brought her suitcases. But he just stands to his full height and tugs at the bottom of his bellboy’s jacket to straighten it out again. They are both staring at each other all the while, her with that same, pretty smile as before. 

But to her, the wide-eyed look on his face must make him seem like a startled owl. 

“Thank you,” she finally says, breaking the silence. “Billy… wasn’t it?” 

His name. She said his name. It’s the best his name’s ever sounded. 

Billy swallows hard, his throat painfully dry, and nods. 

“Thank you, Billy.”

He can’t leave yet. Not until he’s managed to say something to her. Not until he’s apologized for having left her to get rained on, at least. A million things he could say seem to run through his brain all at once. Everything he wants to say becomes jumbled in the chaos. The words seem to bloom and die on his tongue in an instant. 

What he eventually decides on is something to the effect of, “I’m sorry I left you in the rain, miss.”

But what actually comes out of his mouth?

“I’m sorry–”

He turns on his heel to run out of the room before she can formulate a reply of her own.

Billy remains on edge every second of every shift after their first interaction. He’s restless at his post by the front doors of the hotel, fingers tapping on the back of his hand so incessantly that Feldman eventually asks him if he’s unwell. He cobbles together an excuse, saying that he’s just eager for a smoke break. But Feldman can see the way he longingly watches the staircase, hoping and praying to see her again. 

He’s so intent at his post that he forgets more than once to take a guest’s hat or coat when they enter, leaving the doorman, Skinner, to awkwardly step in for him. He gets a proper slagging off from Feldman after he leaves one of the hotel’s most valued guests standing at the door waiting for their coat. 

But none of that matters whenever he sees her. She seems to glide down the staircase whenever she emerges from her room, never a hair or a thread out of place. The beauty of The Halcyon’s lobby pales in comparison to her. No, she somehow makes the room look even lovelier, like there is a light radiating off of her that makes everything in her vicinity more exquisite. 

If she’s walking to the hotel’s restaurant, he’s there to open the door for her. If she’s heading out of the front doors, he’s there with her coat and hat. Each time, he relishes in the sight of her cheeks flushing pink and her eyes getting that little twinkle in them that makes his heart flutter. Hearing the little “thank you” that she mutters each time only makes him fall harder.

“One look from a pretty bird and he’s become a total melt,” Tom, one of the hotel waiters and Billy’s closest work mate, teases him during the staff’s weekly game of poker. 

Feldman spurts out a scoff. “A melt? Boy’s lost his bloody mind, he has. Couldn’t even tell you which way’s up and which way’s down when he’s thinking about… her.” He leans in close to Billy, saying the last word in a sing-songy kind of tone.

Billy attempts to hide the redness in his face behind his cards.

“You’re barking up the wrong tree, mate,” says Tom. “She’s an heiress and a guest. Best forget about her. Find a girl you might actually be worthy of.” He laughs it off as a joke, but Billy isn’t smiling. 

It hits a nerve, that remark. Billy knows he’s not the brightest. Never excelled in school. He only got his job here at The Halcyon because of his mum. He may only be sixteen, but he’s peered into his future once or twice and lamented about the fact that he might always be stuck working here until he’s old and gray like Skinner, still taking coats and hauling luggage up and down the stairs. There are few prospects for men like him beyond jobs like these. How could he ever be a suitable match for a girl like her?

Dejected, Billy folds his hand and rises from the apple crate he’s sitting on, not even bothering to collect the cigarettes he’s planned on using as his stake before he starts walking away with his head hung low.

“Oi, Billy!” Tom calls after him, abandoning his own hand to follow him. “Mate, I didn’t mean it. I was only teasing.”

“Doesn’t mean you ain’t right, Tom.”

Tom walks a little quicker to get in front of Billy and stop him in the long hallway between the stairs and the kitchen. “Okay, look.” He lowers his voice. “You wanna see her again? She takes her tea in her room at two o’clock every afternoon. Yeah?”

“Yeah?” Billy echoes, shrugging. “What, and ask Feldman if I can take a late lunch to have tea with her?”

“No, you dolt.” Tom sighs. “You could be the one to bring her her tea every day. You know, get in the door. Strike up a little conversation.” He nudges Billy’s arm. “Get in a cheeky kiss.”

Billy’s eyes widen. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t thought about it… what it’d be like to kiss her. He’s never kissed a girl before. If she could be his first… oh, the idea alone is enough to make him weak in the knees. 

“But it’s… not my job, Tom. Feldman–”

“Leave Feldman to me. I’ll sneak him one of those custard tarts he likes from the kitchens. He won’t be able to say no.”

Finally, a smile tugs at Billy’s lips.

“Look,” Tom continues. “I’m sorry about what I said. She’d be lucky to have you, Billy.” He begins to walk down the hall to rejoin the poker game, but has to tease Billy a little more. “Just promise to make me best man at your wedding, mate!”

The rattle of porcelain fills the hallway leading to room two-hundred four. Why Mr. Garland had to put Mr. Greene and his daughter in rooms at the end of the hall, Billy will never know. The usually short walk now seems like a marathon’s length as he fights to balance the delicate tray of fine china. He dropped a teacup not long after he started working at The Halcyon and still hears about it from the kitchen staff. If he dropped this tray, he would never survive it.

Billy has bitten down on his bottom lip in concentration, his usually long strides short and uneven. The clattering of the fine china only grows louder the closer he gets to her door, his hands trembling an unacceptable amount. He can carry the heaviest, most cumbersome luggage and now he can’t handle a simple tray of tea? He thanks God that no one else is in the hallway at the moment to see him struggling.

He comes face to face with her door and stares at it for a moment. He’s certain that she will be able to see his heart pounding against his chest from underneath his bellboy’s jacket. Standing there, he begins to work himself up into a frenzy. He doesn’t know if he can do it. Better to turn back now and let Tom deliver her tea as always.

It’s as though he hears Tom’s voice in his head.

Billy, you idiot. It’s just a door.

Yeah, a door with the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen on the other side. He wonders how she’s spent her day so far. Brushing and styling that long, silky hair that he wishes he could run his fingers through. Reading books. Maybe Jane Austen or one of those other books that girls like. Curled up on the chaise with her little dog by her feet. It’s not the type of day that sounds appealing to him, but he’d sit by her side all the while if she wanted him to.

Billy snaps out of his daydream, realizing that he is still staring at the dark mahogany door with the gold two zero four on it. He swallows hard and decides to go for it. It’s quite the balancing act, getting one hand free to rap on the door without dropping the silver tray. He stands on one leg and lifts the other to prop it up on his thigh, quickly knocking twice on the door - but not before he sees a trickle of tea spill from underneath the teapot lid and onto the pristine tray. 

“Oh, bugger.” 

He only just manages to regain control over the tea tray when the lock clicks and the door swings open. It’s clear that she was expecting to see Tom by the look on her face - first, a flash of confusion, and then, a little smile and a blush. She’s rouged her lips today, making them look even fuller than usual. It complements the navy blue silk blouse she’s wearing and somehow makes her face seem even more aglow. Then he’s hit with the warm, flowery smell of her perfume and he lets it fill his lungs. Whatever it is, it suits her. 

Say something, Billy. Bloody hell.

He glances down at the tray and back up at her, seeing that she hasn’t taken her eyes off of him. He swallows again, trying to regain even a semblance of composure. He’s trying to come up with a reason as to why he, a bellboy, is there delivering her tea and not Tom or one of the other waiters, but she speaks first.

“Tom’s busy today?” 

Oh, that voice of hers. He could melt. 

But instead, he offers a little “Mmhmm.”

That’s a better explanation than he would have probably come up with, anyway. 

“Come in. Please.”

She turns to walk with him to the sitting room where she takes her tea by the window and he follows her like a lost puppy, tea tray rattling all the way there. He manages to spill more of the liquid onto the tray on the way there and curses internally. He sucks in his lips in concentration, but the tray still comes clattering to the table. One of the cucumber finger sandwiches tumbles into the puddle of tea below and the clotted cream slides out of its bowl.

“Oh… sorry, miss,” Billy mutters, knowing he’s ruined the presentation of the tray and, likely, spilled half of the tea that she was meant to drink. That’s the second time he’s apologized to her in the span of a few days for doing something stupid. Feldman would wring his neck.

Any other wealthy, well-to-do guest would have snapped at him, cursed at him, called him clumsy and stupid. But she smiles up at him, her eyes glittering more than all The Halcyon’s chandeliers combined. It’s only now that Billy notices just how close they are. Almost as close as couples get when they dance. His mind wanders again, wondering if she enjoys dancing. 

“It’s alright, Billy.” Her voice brings her back into the moment. Heaven above… she remembers his name. She plucks the finger sandwich out of the spilled tea it’s sitting in and tries a small bite, offering him a little smile. “I think it tastes better this way.”

He’s staring at her like a deer in the headlights again, but he somehow manages to nod and smile. “Oh. G… good.” 

Her own grin widens and she leans down to pour herself a cuppa. He knows he should go, but he’s somehow glued to the spot. He watches her every movement, from the way her hand delicately grasps the teapot handle to the way her brow furrows in concentration as she adds milk to her cup.

“You don’t talk much, do you, Billy?” 

“Erm…” He straightens the front of his jacket nervously, feeling the heat in his cheeks. A breathy laugh leaves him. “I dunno.”

His mum would be in stitches if she were here right now. He’s been chewed out more than a few times for talking her ear off when she’s busy cooking or cleaning. You’re going to drive me mad one of these days, Billy, she’d say. To see him completely clammed up around this girl would throw her for a loop.

“I understand. My dad’s not a big talker, either. So I talk to Clara.” She turns to where her corgi is asleep in her plush bed by the fire and smiles. “She’s a good listener.” 

“Yeah…” He follows her gaze, grateful that the little dog isn’t awake to bark at him. “Bet she is.”

“Do you have any pets, Billy?”

He blinks a few times. She wants to know something about him? The blush in his cheeks only deepens.

“Uhm, no… mum’s allergic.”

A look of sympathy flashes across her face. “Oh. That’s bad luck. Well, you’re welcome to say hello to Clara and pet her if you want. She’s such a sweet girl. She loves people.”

Billy glances at the dog again. She isn’t the one he’d like to spend time with. “Yeah. Maybe next time.”

“Next time?” she asks hopefully. His heart jumps.

“Oh, I just– you know. If… Tom’s busy again.” 

Her smile warms him. “I’m sure he’s always busy. Not that you aren’t, too,” she laughs. “I just mean that… you’re welcome to bring my tea again… if you want.”

Billy is stunned into silence again, and right after he’s finally managed to string together more than two words at once. They mirror one another, both wringing their hands together nervously. The air between them feels heavy with unspoken words, but theirs isn’t an uncomfortable silence.  

“Of course, miss,” Billy finally manages. He watches her take a sip from the glistening white teacup and delights in the little hum of pleasure that leaves her.

“If you have work to do, then… I won’t keep you, Billy.” She speaks almost hesitantly, like she’d rather be asking him to stay. “I’d hate for you to get in trouble because of me…”  

She’s right. He has a lot to do before his work day ends and Feldman wouldn’t take too kindly to him neglecting his duties. But he’d give anything to stay here with her.  

“Yeah, I’d better… go.” He sounds unsure, something she clearly notices judging by the way she smiles. 

“Thank you for bringing me my tea, Billy. See you later?” The enthusiastic way in which she asks her question makes it sound like they’re friends who are set to meet up again tomorrow… or maybe that she sees him as, potentially, something more. 

No, he has to tell himself. She doesn’t mean it like that. Not at all. She can’t. Not him, the bellboy. But he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get his hopes up.

“See you later, miss.”

His eyes flit to her lips briefly, hoping she hasn’t noticed before he hurries out of the room and nearly slams the door behind him. He all but floats down the hotel staircase, wearing a stupidly wide grin on his face. 

At the end of his shift, he’s downstairs by the staff lockers being grilled by Tom about everything that happened that afternoon. Billy can barely give any specifics about the interaction itself because he keeps devolving into thoughts of the way her hair curled at the base of her neck and how delicate her fingers looked as she poured herself tea. At some point, Tom decides he’s a lost cause and leaves him to his daydreaming.

Feldman wanders in to collect his things and sees Billy leaning against the lockers there, clutching his bellboy’s hat to his chest. As far as he’s concerned, the sooner this girl checks out of the hotel, the better. It’ll sort him out and get him back to functioning properly.

“I think I’m in love with her,” Billy says over his shoulder with a dreamy sort of look in his eyes.

“You haven’t said ten words to her, Billy.” 

“I have too!” But he starts hurriedly counting on his fingers… just to be sure. 

“Saying ‘yes, miss’ and ‘no, miss’ a handful of times each doesn’t count, lad.”

Billy blushes. “Well, I—” 

Feldman’s laugh only makes his face redder. “I reckon you’ll want to keep bringing her tea so you can stare at her some more, eh?”

“W-well, Tom said he’ll be too busy again and—”

“Yeah, busy having a smoke break.”

Billy can find no clever reply or excuse, so he just looks down at the bellboy’s cap that he has been idly turning over and over again in his hands.

“Look, Billy. If I’m gonna keep allowing you to slip away for tea time with this girl when you should be helping me check in guests, then you have to swear to me that you’ll man up–” Feldman hits him square in the middle of the chest with the back of his hand. “–and hold at least one bloody conversation with her before she and her father leave on Sunday. Yes?” 

“Yes, sir.”

Feldman takes him by the shoulders and gives him a little jostle. Someone’s got to shake some sense into this boy. “Yes?”

“Oi…” Billy furrows his brow and recoils. “Yes. Feldman, I will. Promise.” 

The rest of the Greenes’ stay at The Halcyon passes far too quickly for Billy’s liking. He does manage to hold true to his promise to Feldman and strikes up a conversation with her about her dog on the final day he brings her tea. Of course, Feldman never said that it had to be a long conversation. Billy found himself clamming up again in the end, but he still left her room feeling like he’d accomplished an insurmountable feat. 

He’s back to his uncharacteristically quiet demeanor today, though. Part of it is his own sadness that she will be leaving the hotel today and part of it is that her father has been flitting between their two rooms all morning. Something tells him that Mr. Greene wouldn’t be too pleased about a bellboy staring a little too long at his daughter. 

As the last trolley of luggage is wheeled out by another one of the bellboys, Billy waits for her to finish putting a leash on her dog. He glances around the room, now empty of her personal effects, and feels his heart sink. The room already seems less lovely in the absence of her. 

“That’s the last of your luggage… miss.” He knows he sounds too dejected when she looks at him with a little crease between her eyebrows.

“Thank you, Billy.” Her voice is as soft and as sweet as ever, but he’s far too heartbroken at the thought of her checking out of the hotel and probably never returning to enjoy it. She’ll forget all about him when she returns to her father’s estate and her fancy parties and her rich, handsome suitors. He’s feeling so sorry for himself that the purpose of her next request is lost on him.

“Billy, would you… help me with Clara? These shoes are brand new, and… I would hate to slip on the stairs if she decides to pull on the lead…” 

He’s seen her go up and down the stairs with the little dog plenty of times. Why should she need his help now? But he acquiesces and holds a hand out to take the lead from her.

“Course, miss.”

They leave her room together in silence. He notices that she keeps attempting to catch his gaze, even offering a couple of crooked smiles, but he’s walking under a raincloud the entire way through the lobby. 

“You know, Billy,” she finally says in her usual chipper tone. “I was thinking… my seventeenth birthday’s this fall. Maybe I can see if my father will let me have my party here. Do many people celebrate birthdays at The Halcyon?”

Billy completely misses her question after he hears the words “this fall” and “have my party here.” Fall isn’t that far away if he really thinks about it. He doesn’t care when or how, only that she’s already thought about returning to the hotel. She wants to come back.  

“Wh– you mean it?” 

He catches her beautiful, red-lipped smile and feels his heart flutter again. 

“Of course I do. I’ve enjoyed staying here and–” She blushes. “–getting to meet you.” When he stares at her, too taken aback to reply, she chuckles and continues. “You’ll still be here in November… won’t you?”

“Y-yeah,” Billy breathes. “Long as Feldman doesn’t sack me or nothing.”

She laughs again and takes Clara’s lead from him. “Then… I’ll see you again soon.”

“See you…”

Billy’s voice trails off and he takes a step back from her as her father approaches with Mr. Garland in toe. Mr. Greene places a short kiss on the top of his daughter’s head before the two of them step out into the gray Sunday morning. Billy cranes his neck to catch one last glimpse of her as she climbs into the car after her dog, catching a smile from her before the door closes. 

November can’t come soon enough.

[tryskomys]

MOONCHILD

Remus Lupin x OC reader

Chapter 2 - Episkey

Summary: Moony and Mittens officially join the Hogwarts faculty. After a string of both endearing and hostile reunions, the feast unexpectedly evokes a wave of dreadful memories.

previous chapter

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notes: here goes chapter two! hope you’ll enjoy it, it is preeeetty juicy for you angst lovers out there…

tw: a bit nasty - blood, vivid description of minor injuries, foul language, padfoot is a dickhead ™

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"Do you think I should change back?" Hesperia mumbled in a hushed voice as she and Remus crisscrossed between students through the narrow corridor. He was doing his best not to step on anyone's feet, which was quite a challenge as his pointy Oxford shoes neared twice the size of some of the children's. The brown leather material was flaky in some places, the heel worn out and uneven.

He answered with a shrug, now trying his best to maintain balance when the train suddenly moved, rattling through the tracks once again with a deafening screech of wheels.

"I don't think that will be necessary. They probably thought you were wandering somewhere around the train." 

She sighed in relief and attempted to tuck a loose strand of hair back into the chignon.

"Splendid. I don't think that shaggy old floor mop would digest the chocolate very well. I don't plan on dying tonight, not until I've had at least two servings of butterbeer croquembouche."

A giggle rumbled through his chest as they reached their respective compartment. The children were still there, now a bit calmer as they discussed the preceding events. Remus gave a short nod in the direction of the now-empty package of chocolate.

Hesperia raised her eyebrows in contentment and then softly cleared her throat, a shy shiver running down her spine when the passengers looked at the two of them. 

Their surprised faces scanned the new stranger, the boys were especially flustered when she gave them all a warm smile. Harry discreetly looked the woman up and down, stopping when she made eye contact with him. 

Her eyes…that's impossible.

"Are you feeling better, Harry? We'll be arriving at Hogwarts in ten minutes." Remus gained back their attention when he spoke. They were already getting used to his calm, silent voice. He seemed to have an unusual sort of authority, one won over by pure kindness. But it was their first time hearing the woman speak. 

"Professor Lupin kindly filled me in on the problems we've run into. I'm sure Professor Dumbledore will investigate how those beasts got in here. Don't burden your minds with that, now. There's no safer place than Hogwarts, right?" she assured them. Her words carried through the air as if they were soft clouds, sweet to their ears like butterscotch.

Remus nodded and motioned towards the leather seats. 

"May we join you?" he asked politely, his tired smile growing wider when the children nodded and muttered silent, assuring replies. Harry shuffled to the side so the professors could sit in the same place where Remus slept, oblivious to the cat's sudden disappearance until Ginny's shy voice peeped from the corner.

Hesperia got up in the meantime and reached for the copy of Daily Prophet that was tucked under her ragged suitcase, stubbornly staring into it when she sat down and heard Ginny's tremoring question. 

"Professor, I- I'm sorry, but where is your Mittens?" she stuttered and her face was almost as red as her hair now. His eye twitched for the slightest second before he shifted in his seat, sticking his hands into the pockets of his robe. 

"Oh, Mittens is not mine, she's just a stray. I used to meet her a lot around the grounds when I went to school, which was…let's say some years ago. More than I'd like to admit." he grinned and casually rested his head on the window. 

"I was quite surprised to see her after all that time. She was looking rather ragged, though. I guess age is catching up to her." he shrugged as Ginny giggled. His ears caught the subtle rustle of paper when Hesperia gripped the Prophet tighter.

Oh, you're surely getting the claws when we get there, prick. 

She was torn out of the long silence that followed when the train stopped with a shrill sound of metal grinding against metal. 

"Looks like we're here! Ah, I hope there will be broiled potatoes." Remus stretched and gave everyone present a wide smile before getting up, probably too fast for his exhaustion, because his vision went fuzzy for a moment and he stumbled backwards. Neville caught him, his big ears as red as his favourite cherry liquorice sticks from the snack trolley.

The professor patted his slouched shoulder and thanked him. He just nodded and nearly ran out of the cabin, stumbling over Hesperia's small suitcase in the process.

"Well, it was a pleasure to meet all of you! See you around." she nodded and handed Remus his cane before disappearing from their sight with a small wave.

When she walked outside, ropes of frigid rain were falling from the sky with loud splashes and clouds occasionally cracked with bright lightning. She softly swore under her breath, cringing as wet drops ran under the collar of her robe. Remus carefully limped down the stairs of the train and when he hit the ground with a heavy huff, she snorted.

"Who did you say was getting old?" she hissed at him but couldn't hide the grin playing at her lips when he looked at her, his green eyes wide. He smacked his lips in annoyance and softly punched her arm. He took out his wand, pointed it at the sky and a transparent umbrella sprung out of its tip, successfully shielding both of them from the pouring rain.

She lifted his small luggage from the ground and held it along with her own so he could use his cane as well as his wand. Ignoring his protests, she scooted over closer to him and hooked her arm into his when he offered it with a sigh. 

"Mimi, you don't have to -" 

"Shush, pay attention to your steps, now. You can be a gentleman tomorrow." she cut him off and tugged on his arm to make him move.

She heard Hagrid's booming voice calling the first-years to join him and she melted, the nostalgia finally catching up to her.

They made their way over to the carriages, gravel crunching under their shoes as they walked on the road surrounded by various blooming bushes and small flame spheres that hovered above the ground. The carriages they seemed to be dragged by strange, naked creatures now. They resembled horses and birds alike, their wings scaly and skeletal. Thestrals.

"Makes sense that we would see them, now...after everything," Remus mumbled in her ear, his warm breath making her freezing cheek pleasantly flush. She just soundlessly nodded and let go of him, climbing into one of the vehicles with a soft huff. 

Three fairly grown-up girls, presumably seventh-years, hesitantly joined them. Their hair was soaked and their teeth rattled in the cold autumn breeze that fluttered around them as the Thestrals moved. Their faces turned pink when they noticed the unusually young and unusually handsome professor and his gentle smile. 

"Engorgio!" he commanded and the transparent umbrella expanded with a high-pitched squeal until it hovered over the whole carriage. The group's cheeks flamed even brighter now, stifling giggles when he spoke. 

"Better?" his sweet voice carried through the air and the girls nodded, gingerly thanking before murmuring something among each other. She cursed her pitch-perfect hearing.

Why couldn't I have transformed into a mole rat instead?

"Show-off," she muttered under her breath and he shrugged, a smug grin reaching all the way up to his twinkling eyes.

When they arrived in front of the castle and hopped out of the vehicle, she spotted Harry and the others from the train in the distance. They seemed to be in some sort of conflict with a trio of boys she didn't see before when they passed the compartments on the way here. Remus raised an eyebrow as they neared the group. 

"I wonder whose son that is," he mumbled with a sarcastic smirk when they were close enough to notice that the loudest student had shiny, platinum blonde hair. She scoffed and did her best to put on a professional façade. 

"Is there a problem?" Remus questioned in a firm but friendly tone and they stopped by the band of teens. He was remarkably better at keeping his temper than her, which was quite ironic considering his condition. Her disdain was hidden behind an unconvincing smile. 

Draco Malfoy and his two companions turned around and looked the professors up and down, silver and green ties nonchalantly thrown around their necks. Now that they were illuminated by the golden lights of the castle and standing right in front of them, Harry noticed just how much shabbier they looked in comparison to the river of people flowing into the castle.

Remus Lupin was a tall, tall man. And yet, his ill-fitting robes still seemed to loosely flutter around his fairly broad stature. The tweed suit he had under his long grey robe was pilling around the buttons and loose threads were sticking out of his mousy brown tie. The rough woollen coat that hung down from his shoulders had clumps all over and it looked frankly uncomfortable to wear. His dark brown Oxfords were worn-out and creased all over.

His female companion didn't look much fancier. Her fawny suit was from a lighter type of wool than his, but it was no less crumpled. Her trousers ended above her ankles, it was hard to decide if they were supposed to be that way or if she had them for years and simply grew out of them. The high leather boots on her feet were slightly pointy and had a small and stocky hourglass-shaped heel. The shoelaces were tightly knotted, looking like they might fall apart at any moment.

Her moss-green robe had a few patches from a different fabric and her mustard-yellow parka was the only piece of clothing on both of them that looked semi-new.

Malfoy must've went through the same thought process, because his already judgemental smirk grew even wider when he saw Remus's scarred face, pale and exhausted. The grey strands in his hair glinted under the soft lights that escaped through the windows.

"No problem at all…professor." Draco sneered and gave Harry, Ron and Hermione one last scoff before waving off his two beefy friends and joining the mountain of heads moving up the stairs. Ron gave them an apologizing smile and Hesperia patted his shoulder. 

"Enjoy the feast." she winked and turned around when she heard Professor Flitwick's high-pitched voice from around the corner. Ron caught the slightest hint of her perfume when she whipped her head around and his red ears nearly started glowing in the dark rainy night. 

"Hessie! Remus! I've been looking for you all over, where were you hiding?" Flitwick mused, waving at them to join him. They exchanged a big grin and waved Harry and his friends goodbye, rushing to the small man's side. They affectionately shook his hand and he led them to the back entrance reserved for teachers.

They entered a small lobby that continued to The Great Hall, where most teachers already sat at their places, waiting for everyone to arrive. Remus waved his wand to make the umbrella disappear with a puff of raindrops and hung his cane on one of the armchairs. Hessie put the two suitcases on the floor, taking off her parka.

Professor Sprout just walked in with a deep frown on her face. 

"Filius, how in Helga's name am I supposed to -" 

She stopped in her tracks when she noticed the new faces and her annoyed expression immediately changed to a delighted smile. 

"Remus! And Hessie, too! Merlin's beard, come here, my lion cubs." she exclaimed and stomped through the lobby with a boisterous giggle. She gave them both a big bone-crushing hug before standing on her tiptoes to pinch Remus's cheek. He blushed at the sudden attention.

"My dear boy, look at you! You've grown so much!" she sniffled and turned to Hessie, took her hands and spun her around.

"Let me have a proper look at you, rosebud. My dear Hessie, as sweet as ever!"

Professor Sprout took out a lacy handkerchief and patted her eyes dry. Hessie bit her lip to contain the embarrassed smile that curled on her lips. The stocky witch sighed and put her handkerchief back inside her robes, softly clapping her hands.

"We're so honoured to be back, Professor." Remus awkwardly stuck his hands into his pockets and Professor Sprout tutted.

"Oh, stop it, sweetheart. Call me Pomona. We're so delighted to have you here with us. Truly, right before you arrived, Filius was just talking about - Filius?"

Her eyes widened when she realized she came in to complain to Professor Flitwick and franatically looked around the room. He elegantly snuck out of the room when she was busy blowing her nose.

"Filius!" she lamented and ran out of the door without a word, muttering something under her breath before calling out for him again. 

They broke into giggles as soon as she disappeared behind the corner. She walked up closer to him and smoothed his robes, spotting cat hair on his chest. They fell silent and he looked down at her lovingly, allowing himself to study her face now that she was busy taking out her wand. 

Her eyebrows were knitted in concentration as she muttered a string of incantations, first removing the clumps on his suit with a simple wave, then swishing it to make the loose threads vanish and finally move onto the tear near the bottom of his robe, intricately twirling the tip as the fabric seemed to attach itself together.

She didn't seem to age a day since they last walked through this castle. Even back then she had a few silver threads in her hair. 

His eyes fell on the long scar that graced her skin. A wave of sickness jolted through his body and he bit down on his bottom lip so roughly a drop of blood appeared on it. She seemed to have a potent radar for Remus's self-loathing thoughts, so she looked at him, put her wand away and reached up, wiping the red stain with the pad of her thumb. His eyelids involuntarily fluttered closed as his fists clenched in his pockets. 

"How many times did I tell you not to chew your lips?" she whispered when he opened his eyes. They were exhausted and bordered with dark circles. And despite all the pain they carried, they were so warm, so caring it made her heartbeat stutter. He softly shook his head.

"I cannot count that high, Mittens," he said and breathed out a shivering sigh.

Both of them jumped when Albus Dumbledore cleared his throat, watching them with arms akimbo as his grey robe fluttered in the cold breeze that flowed in through the main door. The expression on his face seemed deliberately bored as if he was standing there for hours.

"I see you've already settled here comfortably. Splendid!" his voice echoed through the stone walls and he giggled when he saw their terrified expressions, walking up to them with open arms.

Hessie let out a silent chuckle and straightened her robes. Remus sheepishly took the hands out of his pockets, clasping them behind his back.

"Sweet Hessie." he kissed the back of her hand before softly caressing her cheek.

"And Remus, my dear friend. What a joy to see the two in these halls again. I'll forever be in your debt for this." he shook Remus's hand and patted his back, taking both of them around the shoulders.

"You have missed the usual professors' meeting, but pay no mind to that. I will fill you in on everything. Now, tell me - ah, Severus! Right on time as always."

They both set their eyes on the towering figure in the doorframe. His posture was unbelievably straight, not in the slightest similar to the hunch he was stuck in when they last saw each other.

Severus Snape was piercing them with narrowed eyes, thy were so astonishingly dark they didn't seem to reflect any light. He was completely wrapped in layers of long black robes, only his pale sinewy hands peeked out of his sleeves while he folded his arms. 

'What's up, Snivellus? Stumbled upon some shampoo lately? 'Cause it doesn't seem like it. Levicorpus!'

James Potter's phantom voice echoed through her ears as she studied his greasy raven hair, her eyes rapidly blinking off the embarrassment. She hated that nickname almost as much as she hated Snape himself, along with his supremacist friend group.

She wondered if he ever knew that. If he remembered that she and Remus loathed their friends’ treatment of him. Considering his hostile scowl, though, it seemed like enabling was just as heinous as bullying in his eyes. She couldn't fault him for that, so she averted his stare by peeking inside the noisy Great Hall.

"Severus, you've met Remus and Hessie before." Dumbledore walked up to him and motioned him inside the lobby. Remus was as uncomfortable as her when he stuck out his palm to shake Snape's veiny hand. 

"I've had the pleasure." he simply stated, his voice impossibly deep and cold as ice. Remus gave him a small, genuine smile, but Snape just turned to Hessie, shaking her hand with a similarly steely grip. 

"Severus will supply you with the Wolfsbane potion as often as you'll need. The ingredients in his pantry are of utmost quality, as are his skills, of course. I'm fully convinced that we'll be able to ease your suffering, Remus. I promise." Dumbledore assured him, sensing the tension in the room.

Remus nodded.

"Oh, I have no doubts about our Potions Master's skills. Severus, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am in your debt." he gave him a polite nod, nervously picking on the skin around his nails.

Snape stood motionless, like a Muggle portrait before giving Remus a lopsided, dishonest smile and with a dramatic swish of his black robe, he turned around and headed towards his seat behind the teachers' table. Dumbledore shrugged and gave them a reassuring smile, waving towards the door as he led the way to The Great Hall. They exchanged a nervous sigh and followed him.

● ● ● ● ● ●

"With great honour, I'd like to welcome Professor R.J. Lupin and Professor H. Lynx, who were generous enough to accept my offer and share the open position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers."

Dumbledore introduced the young duo and they both got up, giving the packed dining hall a court, shy bow. They grinned at each other and sat down, looking around the room as the lukewarm cheers died down. 

"For those who seemed to be puzzled by this unusual precaution, the Hogwarts faculty has discussed the…inconsistencies in the previous years and deduced that it would be wise to employ two teachers at once. In case one of them got possessed by anything, be it villainy or incompetence," he added with a knowing smirk and cheerful laughter carried through the packed room.

Harry caught Hessie's eyes and she gave him a disarming wink, making his cheeks flood with a patchy blush.

She seemed so familiar.

The excitement after Dumbledore’s announcement of the new Care of Magical Creatures professor got a considerably louder applause as Hagrid sheepishly stood up and hit the long table with his large belly, making Remus's goblet of wine fall on the floor with a twinkling rattle. He just laughed it off and continued clapping as a new goblet appeared in front of him out of thin air.

The joyous atmosphere seemed to quickly vaporize when the headmaster’s speech turned to the topic of Dementors and their reason to lurk around the castle.

When his name boomed through the stone walls, Hessie felt as if someone dropped a bucket of freezing water down her robe, frigid dread running down her spine.

Twelve years and it still didn't hurt any less than when she got the owl on the fateful Hallowe'en night. She heard Remus's deep sigh beside her as he stared at the table. Her peripheral vision caught Snape's dark eyes boring into her skull, mouth twisted in a mocking grin.

A memory consumed her whole consciousness.

She was stomping through the tall grass with deafening ringing in her ears, her nostrils shivered as she huffed out heavy breaths. The Whomping Willow, covered in snow, was getting smaller and smaller as she walked away, looking almost indistinguishable from a harmless tree when she finally reached the castle's back door.

She never ran up the stairs to the Gryffindor Tower as quickly as that evening. The Fat Lady was just falling asleep when she walked up to the portrait, biting the inside of her cheek to contain her shaky voice.

"'Shrivelfig juice.'" she said firmly, trying to mask the anger spewing out of her brain. The Lady peevishly grunted and opened her eyes.

"Merlin's beard, what are you doing up at this hour? I was just about to indulge in my beauty sleep - "

"I SAID 'SHRIVELFIG JUICE‘!" she exclaimed, her eyebrows knotted in a deep frown. The Fat Lady gasped and reluctantly opened the entrance, muttering complaints under her breath.

"The audacity! I thought you had manners, young lady!" she called after her, but Hessie couldn't hear any of it. The ringing in her ears got too loud when she entered the common room and slammed the door behind her. 

A handsome young man was sitting by the fireplace in one of the velvet armchairs, the flames illuminated his chiselled features. His grey eyes were scanning a Muggle motorcycle magazine but he immediately hopped up when he noticed her, greeting her with a signature wide grin as his dark locks nonchalantly cascaded around his face.

His joyful expression quickly fell when she charged at him and decked him in the face so hard he stumbled back down on his seat.

Her fist slowly filled up with white-hot pain when she heard a soft crack upon the impact. Her index finger was now bent at an unnatural angle. 

"What the -"

"You self-centred prick! What exactly did you think you were doing?!" she shrieked as she held her bleeding knuckles, the pain was like gasoline to her fury. He looked up at her, mouth full of blood. His nose was letting out a small drop as well, tickling the bow of his lips. He immediately knew what she was talking about.

"What's gotten into you? It was a joke, Mimi -"

"Don't Mimi me, you fucking idiot! He could have died!"

"Serves him right, didn't he call you a scar-faced cunt yesterday?"

"Serves him right?!" she screeched again, pacing in front of him like a hungry lioness in her cage. Her chest rapidly heaved. They were lucky the whole tower was gone for an overnight field trip to Hogsmeade.

"He's a sinister, greasy little cockroach. He had it coming. Someone ought to give him a little scare." he hissed and wiped the bloody nose with the sleeve of his yellow-red sweater. 

She scoffed.

"So you took it upon yourself, a hero of the people!"

He took a breath to say something but she harshly cut him off.

"You don't value human life? Fine. Suit yourself. But did your omnipotent brain even consider what would've happened to Moony if he had ripped that fuckface to shreds? How he would feel if he woke up in the hospital wing tomorrow and found out he'd torn someone's beating heart out? Did you worry about the consequences for your best fucking friend?!" she screamed in his face and he fell silent, putting together that this was the true core of her wrath. 

And he truly didn't realize any of it. She was right and he was arrogant and careless. He felt humiliated. She could see right through him at that moment, so she gave him a joyless grin. 

"Didn't think so. Let me enlighten you, then!" 

He immediately backed away when she walked towards him again, but this time she just braced herself against the armrests of his chair, ignoring the bloody marks she'd left behind. She bent down on his level and got as close as she could without their noses touching.

He could inhale the scent of her Moondew shampoo from this distance, but it felt dangerous, not familiar. Her furious stare made him feel like he was burning on a stake, so he decided to move his gaze to the carmine red carpet under his feet instead.

Her silent voice was even more menacing than her enraged shrieks.

"He would've been expelled and sent to rot in Azkaban for manslaughter. All because pretty boy wanted to boost his fragile ego by navigating a clueless person to a tunnel that leads straight into a werewolf's den."

The boy's grunt echoed through the common room walls when he jumped up from his armchair, took her by the collar of her fuzzy green sweater and backed her into a wall, deaf to the gasp she made when her shoulders hit the uneven stone.

"You know what?! If you care so much about your precious Snape's well-being, why don't you go join him and his Death Eater friends at the dining table for breakfast? You can talk about your mother's bakery over a cuppa and they'll welcome you with open arms!" he barked out, spitting blood and saliva all around him. 

She didn't have time to process his statement, because as soon as the words left his mouth, her injured hand instinctively sprung up and firmly slapped his cheek, leaving a mark of bloody fingers behind. His face whipped to the side and he took a moment to breathe out before meeting her devastated face, realizing the weight of his insult.

Strident pain pulsed through her broken finger, but it was nothing compared to the feeling that was eating through her heart when his venomous words sank in. He stared at her with wide eyes, knowing that there was nothing he could do to take back the taunt he just stabbed her with.

She scoffed, a sarcastic smirk curling up the corners of her quivering lips.

"You make me sick, Black," she whispered and wrenched out of his now-limp grip. She forcefully pushed him aside with her shoulder, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. As she stomped off, he heard a strained mumble.

"Episkey."

He cringed at the poorly contained squeal she let out when her busted finger straightened itself back to its usual position with a nauseating crack.

”Mittens, I -“

He could do nothing but watch her body warp into a familiar ball of matted fur and disappear behind the bookshelf that hid one of the ways out of the castle.

She jerked at the loud swish that accompanied the sudden appearance of mountains of food.

Sweet and savoury, sour or bland, it was all there.

She fixed her dissociated stare at the broiled chicken drumsticks that were neatly arranged in a bowl of creamy corn and broccoli, dull pain pulsing in her stomach.

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Tag list: @wickedsingularity @messyr-moons

[onlyjaeyun]

This chapter took me alllll the way apart. I feel like there are two conversations going on between them right now. One is with their words and the things they say. The other and (dare I say) more authentic one is with actions.

Their relationship started as a pairs skating partnership. That is an incredibly intimate (not even in a sexual way—I mean they were kids) relationship and the primary way you communicate is in a relationship like that is with your body. You trust each other with your body. You support each other with your body. It’s all in what you do and how you physically relate to each other.

Their words are so harsh and fierce (at least they were until this chapter) but what they DO is what is REALLY revealing their story.

When Hoon left her the first time with no aftercare, it broke her. Because they did something so intimate and then he did not ACT in a way that was considerate of her. That wrecked her. She can’t even be in that same position again. But that messed HIM up too honestly. Because he IMMEDIATELY did something to make up for it. He beat up Jaemin. He had to. Was COMPELLED to because he could never truly just take from her and walk away.

The next series of action play out like this beautiful unspoken dance... He restored balance by wrecking Jaemin and immediately went after her. Separated her from Fuma systematically. Established their connection to his face. Kissed her lips after he saw her kiss Fuma. Put her in his clothes…That connection that they have is like a gaping hole when they aren’t together. They grew up together. It was a part of them. Once they reactivated it there was never going to be any going back.

Nearly every day they were together. Then those boys came for her and made her cry and he went 3 against 1. Wrecked. She’s his girl. It’s just that neither of them recognize it yet. She doesn’t want anyone else. She said it herself. (Lowkey I am DYING for some possessive moments from Hoon—like during intimacy—as well as their other interactions—there have already been many but I sense—especially after this—that there will be more. (Especially with her staying with Shotaro 👀 —I mean the TaroFlake relationship is mad platonic buuuut Hoon may not get that.)

Anyways this night is just a huge culmination of all those things. He comes to her space. They stare at each other. Snowflake physically reacts to his laughter (I WAS WAITING FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS OMG). They verbally protest Hee’s dare but never physically do because they need to be close to each other. And then… THE NOD—

The moment he answered her with the head nod… That was huge for me. For both of them, their body responds when their words can’t. (I love the parallel you drew with them both having to nod to answer the hard questions—the vulnerable questions THIS is what puts you a cut above the rest) It’s just so clear that the foundation of what they built together all those years ago is still there. Their connection is just too deep. And those moments when they almost unintentionally (physically) access it again—it just hits so hard. I’m—🥺

He came to her space then he calls her to his.

The way he HAS to know if she is ok. I can’t wait till she finds out he beat them too 💀—and she’s honest with him… honestly I feel like this interaction is one of the first if not the first time their verbal exchange truly begins to mirror what is going on with their bodies (and hearts).

She finds out that he fought for her and she is immediately ready to come back and meet him with her own actions. Telling him the truth about why she cried. Riding him without protection… Yes it’s hot but it’s EVERYTHING.

She never let the others do it.

Because they weren’t HIM.

They haven’t fought for her like he has. They haven’t bled for her like he has. They haven’t built a part of their souls together like the two of them have. Letting him into her is not like it is with other people because HE is already there. In way too deep. And of course he’s never let anyone as close as he let her. Of course. This act of vulnerability is just so huge for both of them. Because I know they swore they would never be vulnerable to each other again but they were and they are.

And don’t eeeeeven get me started on the mirror. He built her up where she could see herself. It’s breathtaking. He puts her in a position of power with both his words and his actions and MAKES her SEE it. Freaking Poetry.

And when he says “please I don’t want this to end”—I feel like he’s not just talking about their encounter—he’s talking about really—truly—being CLOSE to her again.

And the kiss. Such a beautiful intimate act.

Showering together is really a very intimate act. Trust me. That is not something you just randomly share with people. Like there is a strange sort of domestic closeness there that is just lovely to put them in. And he offers it to her because he doesn’t want her to leave…

And he talks with her. There’s conversation (DYING to know what they talked about!! Riki? The team? When they first suspected Heeki was happening?)… The verbal barriers are finally coming down.

But he send her home in his clothes again. A sweatshirt this time. Covers even more of her body than the t-shirt in his clothes—casually possessive. And she puts it on…

I love how you ended it with him FINALLY questioning his own feeling in a truly meaningful way.

She didn’t just make him feel good in bed. She made him FEEL good. Just feel good.

And that’s everything.

Passion is such a strong overarching theme with them. They shared a passion for skating. They passionately hate each other and they passionately are drawn to each other again and again. I am just sighing and kicking my feet. I really do be daydreaming about them.

I physically cannot wait for what is next. I (think I) saw you were taking a break for a few days after putting out this chapter and that is so well deserved. I hope you have a wonderful rest and do amazing on your exams! Thank you so so much for this chapter. It was (somehow) even BETTER than I could have hoped for.

here's the second part of said ask mentioned previously and i think you guys understand what i mean when i say i keep rereading them because of how amazing they are. it will forever leave me mesmerized but also incredibly impressed and actually quite proud to see such deep analysis and thoughts regarding something i wrote and ive actually been thinking about what to respond for so long but every time injust find myself stuck because i'm so 🥺 speechless??? i love your interpretation of things and the way you view and love my characters, you're giving me one of the biggest gifts a writer could receive and i hope you know that. no amount of words of gratitude will ever be enough to express what these asks mean to me. thank you so much baby 🥺 i will forever keep these close to my heart 🥺💗

[justrainandcoffee]

Against all odds (Alfie Solomons x fem!oc) Part 10.

Crossover Peaky Blinders - Hunger Games

Masterlist. Parts: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine.

Summary: Rose decided to play her best card during the auction and paid for someone else apart from Nina and Alfie. Soon it was obvious that her impertinence cost her more than money. || It's the beginning of the 74th Hunger Games.

Warnings: Mentions of death, blood, bombs. But nothing graphic. || Only two chapters until the end of this first part of the story.

Words: 3.6 k.|| I'm not responsible for the last line of this chapter 🙃. (I always said that Katniss didn't exist in my fic. Well, here's her replacement. I was dying to introduce her.)

No one asked why, not even Lawrence. But everyone invited to the auction watched as Mrs. Evert bought not one, not two victors as was customary, but seven.

"We don't judge here," that woman who turned out to be Alfie's abuser had said the first time Rose went to the auction.

They clearly weren't saying it out loud, but Rose felt their gaze on her back.

"I want to make a porn movie. An orgy, hardcore sex," she said, smiling and causing more than one exclamation of outrage. Because there they all were for the same thing, but to say it out loud was almost sinful.

It would go down in Panem's dark history the moment Rosebeth Evert walked out the door with a smile, having left seven checks of considerable sum and exclusivity with them. At least for a weekend.

It had all started before the 73rd games. The song of the twins, the symbol of the dandelion were all over Panem, even the Capitol.

And it was a powerful force that was having a hard time being stopped. Clearly something Snow deeply disapproved of.

The winner of the 73rd games had been a boy from district 2. One more that the careers managed to add to their list of winners. That wasn't news, if it wasn't one of Jack's tributes, it was one of the indomitable District 1. What was news around Panem, was how the tributes from 6, 7, 8 and 11, had sung the twins' song during the seconds before the bloodbath.

Those who managed to survive the initial carnage, kept singing until they couldn't go on. Either because the careers took care of them or because it was the Gamemakers who took matters into their own hands.

But it was too late. The song once again, had stuck in the memory of the entire country. And if those districts rose up against the Capitol, especially district 11, the others would follow like a domino effect.

And Snow wasn't going to let that happen. Unless he didn't know what was going on.

That was why Rose, with consent of those involved, had offered money for them and now in addition to Alfie and Nina as usual, Eva and Jack, Tommy and Lucy and Aveline Young had joined in.

The house Rose had bought years ago was large enough to accommodate them all. And out of the way so that no one would be disturb.

Communication between her and Aberama Gold had not been interrupted in that year and a half. And a friendship had formed between the two.

Snow, in his eagerness to break people until there was nothing left of them had not realized that certain pieces could rejoin with others and that had happened with them.

And Rose knew that the time had come to tell the rest what was going on inside the Capitol itself, away from the cameras and the glamour of the games.

The three peacekeepers guarding the seven who had arrived at Rose's mansion left after leaving them at the property. It was rare to see them outside the context of the games, but necessary. None of them, apart from Nina and Alfie - especially him - really knew Rose so some of them like Aveline, Jack and Tommy were there because they trusted him or victors like Lucy and Eva who seemed to be more open to meeting her.

"The dorms are upstairs," she told them "and each one has a bathroom. So you don't have to worry and you can use it whenever you want."

"This is the house Evert paid for?" asked Aveline, without much trouble. She still didn't quite trust and although she had agreed to be there, she was still cautious.

"Avie..." Nina's voice, made the other woman turn her head towards her.

"I'm just asking."

"No," Rose replied, "this is the house I paid myself, working for months, for years, on designing clothes for kids who are inevitably going to die. Contrary to most of my colleagues, I do care about them and I don't dress them with a piece of cardboard; as Nina, if you don't believe me, can testify. Nothing here has Evert's stamp on it."

"Okay then," the black woman nodded before going upstairs to the bedroom that Rose assigned to her.

.

"Aveline still hates me."

"She's not always like that," Alfie replied when the rest of the victors went to their rooms. The one that he and she shared was the only one in the first floor, facing the beautiful garden the house had. He was hugging her from behind, placing kisses on her neck. "You both have several things in common, she just need to see them. Like both are protectors and both have an awful mood when you're angry. Sometimes you can be stubborn, too."

"Hey! I don't have an awful mood."

"With me, maybe. But, sweetheart… it's time to accept it" Rose heard him giggling in her ears and slapped his arms softly.

"Don't be mean."

"I'm not, luv. But you're not exactly a little lamb."

"Well, speaking of moodiness you're the king, Alfie."

"And fucking proud of it."

She couldn't help but laugh. Rose knew that those weren't times to be happy considering that, except a few group of people, millions of others were miserable. But every time they were together, she allowed herself to smile and forget for a moment, the awful world they were living in.

Rose didn't have avoxes in her house. So, it was her the one in charge of cleaning and cooking. Although considering the last one wasn't her best quality, she ordered for food. Maybe Alfie, if he wanted to, could cook at night.

"Sabotage the games?" Aveline asked raising an eyebrow.

"Next year, yes. During the Quarter Quell. Everything it's going to be ready the next months. We need to do this."

"How?"

"That's secret," Rose said again looking at Aveline. "It's not that I don't want to share it. But I don't want to risk any of…"

"Then how we can help if you're keeping it as secret?"

"You need to trust. The Quarter Quell is special. As well all know. You were already a mentor when the 50th games happened, right? So you know how chaotic it'd be."

Except Nina who hadn't been born yet, the rest although young, were old enough to remember the second Quarter Quell. It was massive, the double of tributes. Meaning, not 23 kids died, but 47. Aveline told them that people was completely excited about those games and she remembered the joyful screams near the Tribute Building. The faces of all the presents said it all. That was a really disgusting, but it wasn't nothing they weren't use to it.

"They won't have the time to celebrate after next year," Rose affirmed. "There's something I learnt last year when I met Aberama after those games. And I didn't tell anyone, not even Al. But you two know right? Tigris knows, I bet you're aware of it," she said looking at the Nelsons, especially Eva "the deepest secret that the Capitol have."

"We knew it, not long ago. But… what? Are you planning to go there?"

"Yes. District 13 is alive, it was never destroyed," she said to the rest of them. "They just pretend to the sake of both worlds."

"That's bullshit!" Lucy said, "we all see the images, all the time! As a friendly reminder that we can be the next ones."

"They tried, and evidently succeed, to selling us that story. But it's false, they even have their own president. His name is Campbell. But don't expect a Messiah. According to Aberama, he's like Snow but without the tendency of killing kids. He's not very charmed nor welcomed. But he has the power we don't."

"So he's helping you and this guy Gold, with this idea of sabotage the games?"

"Not entirely. The first part is something I worked over a decade. I promise I'll tell you after the 75th, but I can't now… it's personal. But Aberama has people on district 13 and they accepted the deal. We know we can't trust all the mentors nor the kids that are going to be part of the 75th, but at least a part of us can fight him. And expect for the best."

"Do you know anything about this, Alfie?" questioned Aveline once again.

"No. And I haven't known shit since we met. I just trust her, Avie. You should do the same."

It was then when Rose told the rest about her birthplace. Her life and family in district 8. The number of tesserae with her name in the bowl and how, like them, knew very well what it was to be part of the kids that could die. And how the only difference between them and Rose it was pure luck. Just luck.

"I wish I could save you from the horrors that Evert did to you. You, Eva… what he did to you… I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"It's not your fault, Rose."

"I married him and he gave me his stupid last name. So since I'm the only Evert here I feel I need to do it. But I'm not him. I'm not! I only knew what he was, when Alfie told me that first year I met him. Since then, I forbid him to touch me. That was 14 years ago. We're still married because it's a great dishonour for a man like him, to divorce. But he doesn't care about me being with Alfie. He loves new things, he's blind. He believes that he's good but he's fucking sick."

"We know," Tommy said. "We, Lucy and I… we're in."

Eva was the first one to accept even when everything was still green and she didn't know exactly when the rebellion was going to start. Jack accepted later, probably influenced by his wife. And Nina was ready to kill Snow from the moment her brother was reaped. The only one left was Aveline and the eyes of them were on her. Soon they got the answer they were waiting for.

"Let's kill this fucker," she said.

_

The victors, weren't allowed to leave the house or apartment of the member of the Capitol who paid for them. But Rose's house was big enough for them to enjoy a bit.

The moment they arrived, Alfie noticed that his wife wasn't alone. The previous month when he and Nina went, Rose was alone as always. But apparently the last few weeks, something changed.

There was a chonky dog, an English Bulldog, next to her. CP, was her name. But Alfie found it so ridiculous that he called her CPU. An in matters of hours, every one was calling her CPU. And apparently, the dog was okay with that.

And that was how started what happened next.

Nina found a little package in front of the house when she opened the door to let CPU go out. It hadn't any name on it, just the address. When she gave it to Rose and she opened it, she found an USB port.

"Maybe Gold sent it," Alfie said.

"No. We have an agreement to not send anything like this. Not even letters, just fortune cookies. This is not him."

"So? Who sent you this?"

"I don't know."

There was only a way to know it. Rose picked up her laptop and went to the kitchen alone to see what it was. There was just one file and it was a video.

From the dinning room, some minutes later, the victors heard the sound of a glass crashing on the floor followed by a scream.

Alfie was the first one to react, the rest went after him.

"Rosie? Rosie!!"

She was frozen looking at the screen, unable to answer to him. But she was crying loudly. His wife didn't react when he put a hand on her shoulder.

"That's district 8," said Jack looking at the video that was playing in loop. "What happened?"

The video showed the desert streets of district 8. Its grey buildings and the smokey air. It seemed that the camera, probably a robot, had a clear destination. Everything happened so quickly that the victors didn't have time to react. One moment the camera was pointing at a specific house and the next one was an explosion and the house became a pile of rubble and fire.

For few minutes the camera was still. The sound was off, so it was impossible to know if someone was screaming or if there was some kind of voices. The camera suddenly moved and pointed at two bloody bodies next to the house, clearly dead. A woman and a young man. The video ended several seconds later and after a moment started again.

Alfie was now hugging her but Rose didn't hug him back. She was in shock.

"I think is her mother," Aveline said. "Alfie, does she have brothers?"

"Two…" he replied, still hugging her "Oh god. Rosie, luv… look at me, sweetheart. Look at me. I need you to come back, please, luv."

The rest was in silence. Nobody said a thing but it wasn't necessary either. Only one person could be capable of such thing and they all knew who it was.

"Louis," was the first thing she said, looking at him. "That was Lou. My little brother Louie. He was a man now. And my mom… my…"

Only then Rose hugged Alfie and cried against him. "I'm here, luv. I'm here." He guided her out of the kitchen, towards their bedroom.

"The fucking bastard," Nina exploded. "He wants all of us dead, doesn't he? Son of a bitch! Killing kids isn't enough! Making us revive our nightmares over and over again, isn't enough!"

She kicked a chair that fell on the floor. "I'm tired! I'm so tired! She did nothing! Nothing!"

"Snow doesn't needs reasons, Nina," Eva said "I guess he believed that it was suspicious that Rose paid for seven victors and acted in consequence. I'm genuinely surprised that he didn't do it before."

"Maybe he was just waiting," her husband said.

Lucy and Aveline were in silence watching the video again. Then both of them exclaimed something at the same time which caused the rest averted their attention to them.

"The shadow!" said Lucy pointing at the screen. "Avie told me she saw something but it's so quickly that you can't see it the first time."

"What shadow?" Tommy asked, watching exactly where Lucy had her finger.

"There's a shadow moving right there, see?"

She was right, barely imperceptible but it was there. Like someone moving the rubbles before running away.

"Alfie said that she had two brothers, right? If the ones that the explosion killed, were her mother and one of her brothers, then logic says that the one moving there is the other one. Maybe not all her family perished."

"It can be anyone, Luce," said Tommy a bit sceptical.

"It can, but we must have hope too, don't you think?"

Tommy said nothing. But Lucy was right they needed to believe that there was hope.

And yet, the mood in the house that started very well suddenly was destroyed by Snow. And around them was only pessimism.

Aveline stayed in the kitchen preparing the dinner, although she knew not all of them were going to eat. Only CPU seemed ready for her meal.

"Lucky you," Aveline said to her giving the animal a piece of cheese. "I wish I could not understand what is going on."

In their bedroom, Alfie was sitting on the mattress with his back against some pillows. Rose was in his arms, facing the wall.

"…she practiced abortions," Rose was saying. "You know, she loved us, the three of us and she was a good mother but she wanted other women to solved their mistakes. It was illegal, but some women and went in search of her to fix the unfixable. I guess she kept doing it these years… I-"

Alfie stroked her hair, she continued speaking after a moment in silence. "I never had the chance to tell her about you. Nor meet my brothers again. I only recognise Louie because of his hair. He was the only one of the three of us with actual curls. It's my fault, Alfie. I killed my family by organising this meeting. I ki…"

"No, no! Luv! Rosie… you don't. It's not your fault, sweetheart. You didn't do this."

It was Snow. Darius Armstrong, the auctioneer, told him that Mrs. Evert paid a fortune for seven victors. He was happy about that when he commented it to the president, a bit scandalised, but it was a night he didn't see before.

But Snow could see beyond that. It took the man several weeks after the auction to find what he was looking for, but he did it.

Rosebeth didn't exist. But Rose Elizabeth Coldwell did. The one that at the age of 19 left her lands in search of a better future in the Capitol. One of the very, very few people who had the chance to live in the Capitol. And Snow believed that she was the only one of those miserable outsiders who really made it into the exclusive circle around him.

Quite dangerous.

Once he found her real identity, it was quite easy know the rest. A mother with an illegal job and two brothers working in a factory, but still living with Mrs. Coldwell because it was impossible to afford a house.

Alfie was still comforting Rose when they heard some soft knocks on the door. Nina's voice replied from the other side of the door when he asked who it was.

That's when Coriolanus Snow decided to kill them and filmed it.

Maybe that could make Mrs. Evert understand why he was the leader.

"What happened?"

"I need to talk."

"It's not the best time, Nina. Rose…"

"No, it's okay," replied the mentioned watching at the younger woman. Nina saw her red puffy eyes and put a hand on her arm.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so mad, Rosie. So mad, so frustrated! We have to let Snow destroy our lives as he pleases. I really want to go to his fucking mansion and stabbed him. I didn't believe it was possible to hate someone this way but-… I won't do it, I swear. It's impossible. But I don't came here to tell you how much I hate Snow, but something else."

"About what?"

"I want you to do something for me. But also for you two… I don't want you to pay for me anymore, no… let me finish," she said before Rose could interrupt or protest. "I'll be forever grateful for what you did for me. The both of you. How you protected me from what for sure, it was going to be an inevitable fate. I don't want to think about it, I don't. But now, years later, you and Alfie deserve time alone. I don't care if you say that I don't bother. Maybe I don't. But if everything is going to shit next year… we don't know if we're going to survive, Rosie. I want to believe we will. But, we don't know. So, I want you two enjoy your time alone. You fucking deserve it."

"Nina, if I don't pay… then…"

"I'll take a risk. I'm an adult, I'll face the consequences if I have to. You always asked me if I agreed with coming here. And I did. So, the same way I'm asking you to do not doing anymore and spend the time with this idiot you call husband," Nina said smirking briefly at her ex mentor.

Alfie rolled his eyes at the last words. He was proud of her and thankful too, but he remained in silence. He probably will say it when both of them were returning to district 9, two days later.

"What do you say?" the girl asked.

"It's that what you want?" Rose asked and Nina nodded, so the woman agreed. She was crying again when this time Nina hugged her warmly.

.

If the the shadow in that video was Samuel Coldwell or not, it was impossible to know.

Jack had cut the video to avoid showing Rose the corpses of her relatives. But he kept the part where the shadow could be seen. Those seconds were what they showed her. But it was impossible to distinguish it.

And yet, she embraced the idea of what her brother was still alive. Sam was always hard to catch, maybe he could avoid Snow. She hoped so.

That Sunday they kept talking about district 13 and the best ways to tell the future tributes about the rebellion.

But first they needed to face the 74th Hunger Games. And they didn't know the calamity that it was about to happen.

The group left Rose's mansion early Monday as it was usual escorted by the peacekeepers. Only Alfie would return there to all of them. Rose would only see the rest during the games.

Nina was right, her time alone with Alfie was something that she craved. And also Alfie. But they didn't know they were living the last moments together before the beginning of the war.

During the reaping day, District 9 got its tributes. A girl who was 17 and a boy who was 14. Everything that Alfie and Nina expected. Two skinny and malnourished teeangers who had to face the consequences of an inevitable death.

But the news arrived from district 8.

The boy was 18. The girl was 16. The problem began when no one volunteered in her place, despite the fact she was 7 months pregnant.

[thefutureiswhat]

Fargo Season 5: Where 3 Roads Meet

This theory is in collaboration with @tdciago.

For a while, I've wanted to share my thoughts about this season as it relates to the act of writing a story. But I haven't really had a clear idea of how the storytelling motif lines up with other aspects of the season (and where it could be leading) until now.

This Is a Story

As showrunner Noah Hawley said in a GQ interview:

“But it was exciting to go back to the movie after four years for the first time to really say, Well, let's look at the movie and let's riff on it, and do what I call a game of telephone with the movie, which is if you give two writers the assignment to write movies about a man who kidnaps his wife, this season is a different writer's version of the same story.”

This season, perhaps more than any other, has drawn frequent attention to the fact that it's a story, starting with Lorraine telling Dot to "write your own pulp fiction."

Munch tells Roy, "A man has only so many words in his lifetime. For us, there are very few left." Sounds like something a book character would say as the pages start to run out.

Danish tells Roy that he can make the other Roy Tillmans disappear "as quick as I made them." Sounds like something an author would say before killing off a character... which is what this story's author does in that very scene.

Then there's the fact that the opening text ("This is a true story.") is written in Times New Roman font, as if it's being typed on a computer or printed in a book.

What's especially interesting is that this season doesn't seem to be a finished story, but rather a work in progress. Whoever the writer is, they're apparently indecisive about formatting and plot points, and lazy about fact-checking. And their writing is downright clunky at times.

The spacing of the opening text's final line ("Out of respect for the dead...") differs between episodes. Sometimes it's single-spaced, and sometimes it's double-spaced.

In 5x05, "The Tiger," we're suddenly given a title card calling the episode "Chapter Five," and a narrator is introduced. This concept is dropped in the next episode.

Then there are all the continuity errors and inconsistencies. First it seems like Roy hired Munch, and Munch brought Donny into things. But later, Gator says he found Donny, who apparently brought Munch into it.

The amount of time since Dot ran away from Roy is also unclear. Roy says she hid from him for "nine, ten years" (Wouldn't he remember? Or is it the author who can't decide?), but the FBI agents tell Indira she went missing eleven years ago.

Characters travel great distances, sometimes hundreds of miles, in hardly any time -- often on foot. Other times, characters don't seem to even know where they are. In 5x08, Roy seems to know the nurse at the hospital and says he's sheriff of the county, but Witt says later that the hospital is "outside Bismarck," which isn't even close to Stark County.

And perhaps the biggest oversight of the entire season is the fact that Wayne is magically electrocuted by exposed wires on the windowsill... while the power is out in the entire house.

In 5x04, the author makes some awkward word choices. Roy describes Baylor Maze as "sitting there in his easy chair, taking it easy." About a minute after Witt says that "ghosts don't photograph," Lorraine talks in a voiceover about a minivan "giving up the ghost."

And perhaps most noticeable of all, Lorraine and Dot bicker at the hospital about Scotty staying in a hotel after the fire. Seconds later, Lorraine asks for service and a nurse tells her, "This isn't a hotel." Weird analogy. Why not a restaurant?

As a writer, these moments stood out to me. If I were proofreading this episode, I'd probably change a couple of those words, so as not to be repetitive. But maybe this story's author hasn't gotten to the proofreading stage yet.

We've Got Our Own Reality

Some would say that all of these examples are simply oversights or continuity errors on the part of Noah Hawley and his co-writers. But what if they're not? What if they were placed there intentionally to show that we're witnessing various drafts of a story, strung together in such a way that we hardly notice anything is off?

A recurring motif this season has been the concept of different realities. The show has even invoked the idea of a time loop, through dialogue like "loop's closed" and "circle back," and by using the song "I Got You, Babe," which plays at the start of each loop in Groundhog Day. It's as if we're seeing moments from different loops (or drafts), in which things are slightly different.

Playing on the idea of multiple realities, this season has also felt the most removed from the rest of the series. So far, there have been no direct connections to past seasons or returning characters. Even the opening text changes "the events depicted" (as we've seen in Seasons 1-4) to "the following events."

Danish tells Witt, "We've got our own reality." What if he's talking about the characters in this season? Who is writing their story? Is it someone who already exists in the universe of the movie (and by extension the rest of the series), and therefore Season 5 takes place in a fictional universe within that universe?

See @tdciago's recent post for more about that idea, and who the author might be.

It's the Crossroads

So what does all of this mean for the rest of the season? Well, what if the "work in progress" nature of the story becomes unmistakable in the final episode(s)? What if this season has three different endings, like a choose your own adventure story?

Maybe the season finale will be "where three roads meet," with the roads being the different versions of the story we've been watching. Why three roads, you ask? Because this season appears to be referencing the story of Oedipus Rex.

Gator's official character description says he has "daddy issues up there with Oedipus Rex’s." Notably, Oedipus kills his biological father at a crossroads where three roads meet. We've already seen some possible foreshadowing of a similar event this season, including Roy's use of the word "crossroads" in 5x04.

The number three has also shown up this season, particularly in 5x08. Danish convinces three men to change their names to Roy Tillman, and the first is number 313 at the court; Dot tells Roy there's a three-day minimum for ordering an ice cream cake for Scotty's birthday; she also tells him, "third time's a charm" about his marriages; Danish gets gas at pump 3.

Many viewers seem to agree that Roy should end up dead by the end of the season, but they don't all agree on who should do it. The show has already seemed to foreshadow Roy's death at the hands of both Dot (theory here) and Gator (theory here).

Maybe we'll get to see both of those deaths, plus a third option where he causes his own demise, or he ends up in prison. Maybe we'll see other characters (like Dot or Munch) die in one version of events, but survive in another -- because the author is just as indecisive about about what should happen as the viewers are.

The Lady, or the Tiger?

Will we ever know which one is the final draft? Probably not. Another story referenced this season is "The Lady, or the Tiger?" The story ends with a man choosing one of two doors. Behind one is a tiger. Behind the other is a lady for him to marry. We never find out what's behind the door he chooses.

This season has referenced the story in a few ways, the most obvious being the repeated references to Dot as a tiger. But there are other details that point to "The Lady, or the Tiger?" in particular.

In 5x01, we see two paintings behind Indira as she sits at her dining table. In the painting on the left is a lady with flowers on her head. On the right is a tiger.

5x05, "The Tiger," obviously contains a number of references to tigers. But it also features several uses of the word "lady": Vivian Dugger calls Lorraine "lady" at lunch; Roy said he caught Dugger with a "lady of the evening"; the narrator refers to Dot as a "lady tiger"; and Lars tells Indira, "Babe, there's a lady in our kitchen."

Will this season be as "insoluble" as "The Lady, or the Tiger?" Or is Dot right that "third time's a charm," and the third option will be the official one? Can we really even declare one version the official version, when it's all made up anyway?

By the end of the season, will we be the authors, choosing whichever version of events is most satisfying to us? To borrow a phrase from Linda, which truth is the true truth?

[wildflower-otome]

[Translation] Clover no Kuni no Alice ~Promise Red~ Light Novel - Chapter 6

ACT 6 - Inseparable person, beloved family

‘You did well today, Alice- Would you like to have a meal with me after this?’

The White Rabbit, who wasn’t in his usual red, but a black suit, gave a radiant smile as he asked her to come out with him.

They were not at Heart Castle, but in the large meeting room at Clover Tower. It was the place the Assembly had just been held in.

The discussion now over, all attendees aside from the two of them had already disappeared.

Alice didn’t have any plans until the next meeting, so she nodded yes.

‘A meal? Sure, is there anything you want to eat, Peter?’

As the girl who was wearing her special Assembly dress answered with a question, he continued, looking shy.

‘There’s nothing in particular but…..I just thought that I’d like to go out for a meal with you. I’d like to take you somewhere that you’d like to eat.’

‘Let me see.’

Unlike animals with strong preferences such as Elliot or Pierce, there wasn’t anything Alice herself especially liked or disliked. She thought she would be fine with anything, but pondered for a moment on how she should answer.

The first time she had come to an Assembly at Clover Tower, this White Rabbit had been the one who had said that no matter what he ate, it had no taste.

That he had invited her out to eat even so, meant that he had suggested it because he wanted to spend time with Alice. That made her feel happy, but she also had her doubts.

‘But are you alright with going out to eat? Although if it doesn’t bother you, Peter, I don’t mind.’

It was true that she was hungry since the discussion had gone on for so long, but it wasn’t yet so bad that she felt about to collapse or anything like that.

Because things had no taste for him, she thought he might not be able to enjoy himself even if they were together, but Peter vigorously shook his head from side to side.

‘If I can be with you…..it’s not possible there would be anything I would dislike-! I am more than happy to go with you!’

Ever since she had asked Peter to be her lover he was always following her around, to the extent where the period he had spent being distant seemed like a lie. The way he would call out and start looking around for her whenever she went away from him was the same as it had been before she had come to Heart Castle.

However, the biggest difference was that instead of looking exasperated as she said, “Stop it already”, Alice now looked bashful instead.

‘Let's go together, no matter when, I wish to make you happy at all times.’

‘.....Thank you. Alright, let’s go then.’

As he held Alice’s hand tightly, Peter’s cheeks were flushed.

‘How about the mushroom restaurant we went to not long ago? You said it was delicious and seemed to enjoy it, why don’t we go there again?’

Standing exactly on the other side of her, the red eyes peered into her face.

The gaze with which he looked at Alice was as soft and warm as ever.

Alice loved those eyes. They only looked at her, a red colour that put her at ease.

‘That sounds nice, they might even have a new menu too. Let’s go there.’

In her previous relationship, they had never held hands and walked side by side.

When she was with him, her heart beat faster, and she couldn’t calm down. But, it wasn’t just Peter who became worried when they weren’t together, Alice felt the same way.

She loved how warm the palm of his hand in hers felt, right now she was able to honestly admit that that was how she felt.

She found the changes in herself unbelievable. At the point where she had wanted him to become her lover, there must already have been something quite wrong with her head. Alice had thoroughly come under the influence of this world, and of this White Rabbit.

‘Peter.’

‘Yes, what is it, Alice?’

A small voice, just below a whisper. Unlike when it had been just the two of them in the meeting room, as they walked through the town together there were, of course, other people around them.

Even though her voice had been quiet enough that it wouldn’t be strange for it to go unheard amongst the noise that surrounded them as they walked.

Those long ears had heard her call. Though normally what people wanted to say to the White Rabbit never got through to him, he would always listen to what Alice alone had to say, without fail.

‘.....Nothing really, I just kind of wanted to try calling you.’

‘Is that so.’

‘S-Sorry. I said something weird all of a sudden.’

It had made her happy that he had responded, but, just as she was apologising, embarrassed that she called out to him for no reason-

‘—Alice.’

‘Hm? What is it?’

Within the white hair, his gently laughing red eyes shone softly.

Red was a colour that she had become very familiar with in this world. Blood, roses…..those were the sorts of things she immediately associated it with.

However, this red was one that did not blend into any of the others.

Perhaps this red looked as beautiful as it did all the more because it existed within white. That was what she thought.

‘It’s the same for me. I just wanted to call your name.’

‘Wha-.....!?’

In the deep red, Alice was reflected.

His field of vision only reflecting her, the White Rabbit was happily smiling.

‘When I call your name, it is as if I am touching something very precious…..that’s how it feels to me.’

‘Peter…’

Seeing her own face reflected in his eyes, Alice smiled as if embarrassed. How contented she looked. She wondered if Peter could see himself looking the same way in her eyes.

‘Please call my name whenever you wish, Alice. If you call me, no matter where I am, I will always hear you.’

Her hand as he held it felt hot.

Peter’s hands were enveloped in gloves, so this heat surely came from Alice.

‘—If you say things like that, I really might take it seriously, you know?’

‘But, I am serious, after all.’

She had changed the topic to hide her embarrassment, but Peter gave an emphatic nod and continued.

‘I want you to take it seriously. Alice, if you believe it, no matter where I am, I will come flying to you.’

His gently smiling face had the same appearance as cotton down.

Because just as he said, it seemed as if he might end up flying away on the wind-

‘I won’t be going anywhere.’

As if she were grasping at white down, Alice held his hand more tightly in return.

***

The mushroom restaurant was as busy as it had been the first time they went there.

In the midst of the bustle, Alice was eating her meal after having been shown to her seat, but right now wasn’t at all in the mood to leisurely enjoy it. Blinking again and again, she cautiously opened her mouth to speak.

‘.....P-Peter. Are you sure you’re not forcing yourself? Are you alright?’

‘I'm perfectly fine. Do I look that strange to you, Alice?’

Tilting his head in confusion, the White Rabbit lightly tapped at his own face with his hands as he spoke as if to check.

What she was surprised at wasn’t his appearance. She had already become accustomed to the figure with the long ears, of which the face alone was good-looking. At this late stage, it no longer surprised her.

What had shocked her was Peter’s actions, or, more precisely, his facial expressions.

‘But, the way you look…..it’s completely different from before.’

The first time they had come there to eat, he had merely silently carried the food to his mouth as if it was no more than a chore. It had been in this restaurant that he had told her that no matter what he ate, it didn’t taste of anything.

‘You can’t taste things, right?’

Since just before, the White Rabbit had been slicing up his food and carrying it to his mouth, but each time he ate the expression on his face was changing. Mushroom, meat, bread…..the way he looked as he ate each of the different ingredients made it seem as if he could tell the difference in flavours.

‘Yes, that is correct. Even though food shouldn’t have any taste, I wonder why.’

Staring intently at the potato he had stabbed with his fork, he appeared perplexed himself.

‘We went on a picnic together not so long ago, right? Ever since then, whenever I eat with you…..it feels like food has flavour to it.’

‘Huh?’

‘Strange, isn’t it? I never felt anything at all up until now no matter what I ate, this too…..’

In a smooth movement, he put the potato into his mouth.

When he chewed, the White Rabbit did not speak. Because to talk while eating would be bad manners.

As he swallowed it down, sure enough, Peter again still looked puzzled.

‘It really does taste of something…..I wonder why that would be.’

‘Um, you know, that’s normal. Of course potatoes and mushrooms don’t taste the same.’

‘.....Hmm, it really is strange. It feels odd.’

His table manners were perfect.

However, it was only the look on his face that seemed mystified.

Seeing Peter eat in such a mismatched way made Alice feel happy somehow.

‘Is it good?’

‘I’m not sure, I believe this could probably be called delicious but…..I can’t quite tell.’

He ate another mouthful.

While chewing on a piece of soupy pie, the White Rabbit’s head was still tilted in confusion.

‘But, I do feel as if things taste delicious whenever I eat with you, Alice.’

Peter put down the knife and fork and smiled.

Just as she was about to return his smile-

The bell on the door rang as another customer entered.

The moment they did—the feeling of deja vu that darted across her chest might have been a premonition.

‘..........!!’

Without knowing why, Alice looked towards the entrance, but the instant she saw the figure of the man standing there her eyes widened.

It was impossible that Peter would not notice her reaction. As if following after Alice, he looked in the same direction, and when his gaze met that of the black suit wearing man, the expression on his face changed.

‘You really are a man that does nothing but get in the way, Blood Dupre.’

‘Hmph, and what about you, Prime Minister? Taking a guest out to dine, you must have a lot of free time on your hands.’

A black hat with trump card symbols.

Wearing a suit that left a strong impression, the Hatter was smiling sarcastically as he lightly swung his cane.

As he smacked it into the palm of his own hand, he gave a light sniff.

‘I hadn’t expected you to tame our young lady. Animals should act like animals, and stay as the pets they are.’

The green eyes beneath the brim of his hat seemed to be smiling, but were penetratingly cold.

‘You must really want me to destroy Heart Castle. I hadn’t thought you were the suicidal type, Lord Peter White.’

‘Blood. Um…..this is-’

Alice didn’t know how far his information network extended. To say nothing of the fact that she was unaware of the existence of the rose garden at Hatter Mansion, it wasn’t possible that she would know the Queen and the Hatter’s secret.

However, the only thing she was sure of was that there was no way Blood, who was skilled at obtaining information, was completely unaware of recent events.

‘You are one of my Mansion’s people, aren’t you, Alice?’

‘............’

‘That is what you yourself told me. That your home is my Mansion—You haven’t become so deceived by the esteemed Rabbit here that you would lie to me, have you?’

His intimidating aura was enough to make her shiver.

The cold air of a Mafia boss causing her to falter, Alice was unable to move.

All the more because what Blood was saying was the truth, she couldn’t say a word.

He had given her a home to belong to.

Because she had a place that she could go back to at any time.

Hadn’t a part of her thought that if Peter didn’t accept her, it would be a simple matter of returning there?

She had asked him to be her lover, because she was in love with him.

She should just say those pure thoughts had been the only thing on her mind.

Unable to completely deny that a sneaky part of her had been thinking so calculatedly, Alice couldn’t make an answer.

‘Please don’t insult her any further. She has done nothing for you to criticise her for.’

‘Peter.’

Having gotten up from his seat before she had realised it, Peter had cut in to stand between Blood and Alice who was also now standing.

Hidden behind his black suit wearing back, Alice could no longer see the Hatter’s face.

‘Hmph…..were it not for that foolish pact, I would be taking back the young lady right now—however, the next Assembly will be the last. I will let you save face here, and withdraw.’

‘Blood.’

The girl moved forwards so that she could see the expression on the man’s face, but the White Rabbit’s arm immediately before her eyes held her back and she was unable to do so.

Flustered, she looked at Peter’s face, but the red eyes were coldly looking at Blood.

‘Once the Assembly is over, the pact will also cease to be in effect. Look forward to that, Prime Minister.’

‘I return those same words to you.’

A cold aura came from not only the green, but the red eyes also.

In the restaurant that had fallen completely silent before she had realised it, the two role holders glared at each other for a short time, before Blood eventually brought it to an end by turning his back on them.

‘Blood, I-.....’

‘Alice!’

She had reached out her hand in order to chase after the departing back, but Peter’s arms had grabbed hold of her. Her empty hand had not reached the Hatter.

Hearing her voice, the man turned around for just a moment towards the girl.

‘............’

However, in the end, still without speaking a word, he quietly put the restaurant behind him.

Alice hadn’t been able to read any of his emotions from the gaze he had directed towards her.

‘Blood…’

Alice was in no small amount of shock at the man’s reaction, but when it came to detaining her, Peter spared no effort.

‘Please don’t go, Alice-!’

‘Peter, but-…..’

He may have been an enemy to the White Rabbit, but to Alice, Blood was not just her household head.

It was no longer how it had been in the beginning, when he had just been the person with the same face as her past lover. He had given her a place to belong, even amongst her other friends in this world, he was someone she had a strong emotional attachment to.

He wasn’t somebody she was fine with ignoring. That was what she thought, but the Rabbit would not so easily let go of her.

‘Please don’t leave me. Please…..don’t go anywhere.’

The fervency of the arms that wrapped themselves around her was too strong for her to break free from, and at the same time had a heat to them.

No matter what, she was unable to shake them off.

***

It was a problem they would eventually have to face.

Something that sooner or later, Alice would have to tell Peter.

‘Hey…..Peter, there’s something I want to talk to you about.’

Having returned to the Tower in a heavy-feeling mood after coming face to face with Blood at their meal, Alice had come to visit Peter in his room.

Stopping the White Rabbit as he diligently went to prepare her some tea, she sat down on the sofa.

‘.....Alice…..’

There was a frightened look in the red eyes. There hadn’t been such anxiety in these eyes since the time he had found Alice when she had gotten lost at the doors.

She was causing him distress yet again.

She really was such an awful person. She couldn’t stop the self-loathing she felt at how little her pathetic self deserved to have feelings that were so honest directed towards her.

‘I heard the Assembly will be over soon. Not like up until now, where we’d come here for discussions again after a while, but that the Assembly period itself will be over soon.’

The next discussion would be the final meeting. The Assembly that would be held for the purpose of announcing the end to the meetings would soon be upon them.

And—at the same time, it would also be the end of Alice’s residence at the Castle.

‘Once the Assembly is over…..I’m thinking of going back to Hatter Mansion.’

‘!’

She had definitely seen the red eyes start and tremble.

He clenched the two hands he had placed on his knees as if enduring something.

‘Alice-.....’

‘I have to keep my promise. Whether I want to remain at Heart Castle or keep living as I always have at Hatter Mansion, I can’t break my promise to Blood.’

If she continued to stay at Heart Castle without doing anything—she would surely regret it.

It wasn’t just Blood. She would be causing trouble for Elliot, the Twins, and her co-workers. She couldn’t do something so selfish as changing her place of residence without first apologising and then explaining herself.

While thinking such thoughts, Alice smiled bitterly to herself. Even though she had found someone so essential and important to her, she was already at the point of thinking of how she could properly move to Heart Castle …..it was also accompanied by the most terrible of feelings.

‘............’

‘I’ll come see you again. Just like always, I’ll come see you at Heart Castle, so wait for me. Alright?’

She could just go and see him.

Just like she always had.

When she went to see him, they could spend time together. There would be nothing wrong with that.

‘I’ll come see you…..Alright, Peter?’

She couldn’t abandon Hatter Mansion. Nevertheless, she didn’t want to leave the White Rabbit who didn’t understand what things tasted like without her, on his own.

That should have been a point of compromise for Alice, who was unable to narrow what was important to her to only one thing.

However, the red eyes didn’t nod in agreement.

‘I—absolutely, refuse.’

‘Wha-, Peter….Kyah-!’

When the White Rabbit, who had maintained his silence, had rejected her suggestion, Alice hadn't understood exactly what had been said to her.

And not only that, he had suddenly climbed on top of her, completely changing the positions they had been in. The face that should have been on the other side of hers just a moment ago, was now directly above as he looked down at her.

‘Wha-.....What is it?’

‘Why are you trying so hard to return to Hatter Mansion? You’re my lover, aren’t you, Alice!?’

White fingers. The glove covered fingertips felt firm against her skin as they traced her cheek.

The reason a shiver ran down her spine might have been because of them. Or perhaps it was an effect of a light in his eyes that she had never seen before up until now.

‘But you must already know that place is where I have my role-’

Back when she had been in her original world, she had already begun preparations to become independent of her sister after graduating school.

It wasn’t as if she had ever forgotten how she had felt at that time. However, in this world, after she had begun to live at the Mansion—she now had a role that had been given to her at her own request.

If she were to give it up, she would be abandoning her responsibilities for a second time.

‘Everybody needs a role. Don’t…..take that from me.’

‘Am I, not enough?’

‘.....Huh?’

As Alice’s eyes widened, startled at this sudden change in direction, Peter was biting down on his lip. His normally graceful features were now badly contorted.

‘Are you still unsatisfied with the role of being my lover, but not with the one that Blood Dupre gave you?’

‘It’s not about, being enough or anything like that-.....Peter!?’

His white hair, and red eyes.

They came right up close to Alice.

A stinging pain ran down her neck—and then she realised he had left a mark.

‘Wha-.....What are you doing-’

‘Aren’t you my lover, Alice?’

Alice had raised her voice in a fluster, but in contrast, his voice sounded unruffled…..and cold. The light in the red eyes just below her chin was so sharp it seemed as if he were about to leap at her at any moment.

Rabbits were supposed to be herbivores, but his gaze was fierce enough that she could almost feel the sharpness of his hidden fangs.

‘If we’re lovers, then this is only normal. To kiss, and do even more than that…..right?’

‘Ah-.....’

Seeing his slender fingers undo the ribbon around her neck, Alice involuntarily cried out. However, the voice that was unconnected to either a yes or a no twined itself around the ribbon and without further ceremony was dropped to the floor.

‘Peter.’

‘Did I not tell you I would give you anything you wished for? If you wish for a role, then I, and only I, will give one to you.’

His lips skimmed her neck, passing over her chin and then—stopped up Alice’s mouth.

‘Mnn-’

Body stiffening in almost fright, she went to close her mouth, but not longer after melted at the heat that slipped into it.

Before she had realised it, she had closed her eyes. Perhaps because her skin had become more sensitive from no longer being able to see, the sensation of the arms wrapped around her felt terribly sweet.

‘Unlike you, I am also…..an existence that can be replaced.’

‘P-Peter-’

As she called his name, gasping for air, the White Rabbit gave a silky laugh and began to kiss her once more.

‘I can no longer bear to simply keep waiting for you to come to me. I want to just lock you away.’

‘-’

The white arms sank her into the sofa.

Even though she had to resist. Even though she couldn’t just let herself get swept along.

‘I do not need anything but you. It is only you that makes me greedy.’

‘............’

‘I had never thought that you could love me. But if I can make you belong only to me by marking you—even if it hurts you, I want you.’

Drowning in red eyes that were beautiful even at a time like this, Alice relaxed into the strength of the arms that sought her.

***

Her body hurt.

Looking up at the ceiling in a daze, she slowly turned her sluggish feeling head to the side…..and saw a white shirt.

‘............’

The long ears atop his head were at the moment hanging down.

Feeling a creaking sensation here and there as she moved to get up, the bed made a small sound.

He probably knew that Alice was awake. Nonetheless, Peter didn’t turn around, his back still facing away from her.

Which was why she sat up, and stretched out a hand to him.

Taking hold of the sleeve of his white shirt, she tugged at it a few times.

As if she were knocking at a door.

‘Peter.’

‘-’

Surprised herself at how hoarse her voice sounded, she repeated herself once more.

‘Peter.’

‘............’

‘Look at me.’

‘.....Alright.’

Trembling, or perhaps twitching with nervousness.

With a manner so timid you wouldn’t think he had pounced on her so ferociously not so long ago, the White Rabbit’s eyes as he turned to face her drifted from left to right, and didn’t try to look at Alice.

He probably didn’t realise that doing so was, on the contrary, only making her more anxious instead.

‘Um, that is…..was I not to your liking?’

She thought that she was about average, but was well aware she was a far cry from the womanly figure of someone like his boss.

However, Peter shook his head and immediately answered, ‘Absolutely nothing of the sort.’

Even so, his gaze did not meet hers.

‘I would never have thought to do something like this with someone that wasn’t you. And also, that is-…..you were very lovely, Alice.’

‘But for all that, you seem to still have something on your mind.’

Just as she had pointed out, the White Rabbit still had an awkward look on his face.

The way he was acting reminded her of how he had been when she had first begun to live at Heart Castle.

‘So, you do regret it after all?’

‘Not at all, of course I wouldn’t. I just…..feel ashamed of my own greediness.’

Alice didn’t understand the things Peter said. As she tilted her head in puzzlement, he tentatively stretched out a hand towards Alice’s face.

He was probably afraid to touch her.

‘I had always thought that I was happy just having you here, with just being together with you…..but despite that, I ended up thinking that I wanted you even if it hurt you.’

‘Peter.’

‘I hadn’t wanted to sully you with desires like these.’

The weak and pure White Rabbit was afraid that she would reject him.

As Alice touched the white hand that shook as it stroked her hair, it immediately went to move away. However, Alice grabbed on to it, and didn’t let go.

This Rabbit only understood things that were said to him straight up. That was something she had known ever since she had confessed to him at that grassy field.

Conversely speaking, if she was able to speak to him without any ambiguity, she should be able to get through to Peter, who always bent his ears to listen to what Alice had to say.

‘Alice…’

‘Being wanted by you made me feel happy, Peter.’

‘!’

The ears that had been hanging down a moment ago were now standing straight up.

Smiling at the easily understood reaction, Alice repeated herself once more.

‘I’m a greedy person, so rather than pretty sounding words like just being together is enough…..I prefer something more easily understood, like just now.’

That person had never touched her.

He had kissed her with affection. But he had by no means given Alice his heart, he had never desired her as intensely as Peter had.

‘Peter…..it was because it was me, that you brought me to this world, right?’

‘Yes. I do not care about what happens to anyone else but you. Because you were the only one that ever loved me.’

There were many mysteries in the things that the White Rabbit said. Ever since the first time they had met, and even now, that hadn’t changed.

Still, in the midst of those mysterious words, Alice could tell for sure that his heart was directed towards her, without a doubt.

‘If you’re going to hurt me because you love me—then, promise me one thing.’

The hand still within her grasp slightly trembled.

Right now, if she were to let go of the hand that seemed about to run away at any moment, it felt as if he would end up going somewhere far away from her again.

‘Only do these kinds of things to me.’

‘............’

‘Don’t…do this sort of thing to anyone else.’

The only one that the too pure Rabbit would hurt was Alice, who possessed nothing special other than her heart.

She didn’t want to give that up to anyone else. Those were her thoughts.

‘.....-’

The arm that she hadn’t been holding on to all at once drew Alice closer.

Smelling the scent of soap from the body that embraced her, she closed her eyes.

‘Alice.’

‘Ah-.....Mnn-’

However, her face was lifted up in an instant as he kissed her.

A soft kiss, that was a mere light touching of the lips.

Gradually, it began to change to a deeper one, an action not at all like the normally germaphobic Rabbit.

‘The only person I’ll do this to, the only one I’ll do something this dirty to, is you.’

‘Peter.’

‘You’ll promise me the same thing, won’t you? Alice, you’ll love only me, won’t you?’

As if he wasn’t looking for an answer, he continued to incessantly kiss her again and again—and just like that she melted into Peter’s embrace.

***

She wondered how many times she had now stood in this exact same place.

—Open it—

—Open the door—

‘But…..this will be the last time.’

The enticing doors that whispered to the lost.

Alice wasn’t in the midst of a green Forest, but at Clover Tower. She was in a place that was close to the top floor, but nobody had ever said a word of reproach whenever she entered this room. It wasn’t far from the territory leader Nightmare’s room, but she always ended up coming here before she realised it.

Whenever Alice came to the doors she was always alone. She came here alone, and then went back when the White Rabbit stopped her—that was the usual pattern of things.

Right now Alice was also alone in this place. Nobody should have known that she was here.

Still, for some reason, she felt a presence close by.

Still looking at the door, without turning back, Alice shook her head. She was sure she had left the room without waking him, so she wondered when he had noticed she was gone.

‘I’m not going to open it, so don’t worry, Peter.’

‘Alice.’

‘I’m not going anywhere.’

She put her hands together behind her back to show that she wasn’t touching the doorknob.

Right now the hand that was usually holding onto the doorknob before she became aware of it was completely empty.

After all, what Alice wanted to hold onto was not a cold metal doorknob—but only a certain warm white hand.

‘But, the fact that you’re here….must mean that you’re still hesitating, is that not so?’

An anxious sounding voice echoed from behind her.

Peter must be wanting her to deny it, but all the more because he knew that it wasn’t so easy for her, he had no choice but to ask.

All the more because he couldn’t read hearts, there was no other way to be sure but through words.

‘I do not wish to let you go anywhere…..whether it be Hatter Mansion, or the other side of the doors…..I do not want to let you go anywhere.’

‘Yes, I know.’

The shadow that had been standing behind her, now stood next to her. She had grown completely used to this presence being beside her.

Her relationship with him had begun when she had fallen into this world, but to guide her was his role. Even though she was always thrown by the things he did, even though she was always the one following along after him-

Smiling up at the red eyes immediately close by to her, she gently took Peter’s hand.

‘I didn’t come here to open the door…..just for my own self-satisfaction.’

‘Alice?’

‘I came here to say goodbye.’

Turning her gaze away from the red, Alice looked at the door directly in front of her.

—Open the door—

They continued to whisper even now. As if to mock her that in the end that was all her determination amounted to, they continued to sway her emotions.

However, what she was holding was the hand of the White Rabbit who had led her to this world.

The emotions she had felt when she had decided to go to Heart Castle when she had been at the Tower before.

Unable to completely rid herself of her regrets, Alice wavered and continued to hesitate, but right now she was able to be absolutely certain that as long as she had this hand, she wouldn’t lose her way.

‘“Say goodbye”?.....it can’t be, please don’t say you mean to leave me behind, Alice-!’

‘That’s not it.’

Smiling wryly at Peter who had paled as he raised his voice, she lightly shook her head.

The dream demon had said that Peter had been too neglectful of his own feelings. And that it was the reason he didn’t understand the emotions of others.

She recalled the silver eyes as they had said that he would be able to understand them someday, but she wondered when exactly that would be.

‘I was saying goodbye to…..the place that’s best for me.’

‘What do you mean by that?’

Feeling him hold her hand more tightly, the girl continued to gaze at the door as she spoke.

‘I probably…..won’t be able to completely forget my original world. It’s not in my personality to just take it easy by forgetting absolutely everything.’

‘Alice-’

The red eyes twisted with sadness.

However, just as he was about to raise his voice in protest, Alice stopped him by putting a finger to his lips.

As if surprised at the small heat that was touching his mouth, the White Rabbit stopped moving.

‘I don’t know if someone is waiting for me on the other side of the door. I’m always wavering, and I can’t make up my mind.’

Her older sister smiling in the sunlight. She must surely be waiting for her return, a gentle smile on her face.

She had to return to her. Emotions that were similar to an obsession were smouldering away within her even now.

‘But, I’d like to not want to go to the other side of the door. Because you’re important to me Peter, and I don’t want to leave you behind.’

‘.....Alice.’

‘I don’t care even if I never do find out what place is best, I want to be where you are. So that’s why I was saying goodbye.’

If Alice wasn’t there, this White Rabbit wouldn’t understand what things tasted like. It made her happier than anything that Peter, who had never cared about anyone else up until now, didn’t want to let her go.

She didn’t want to think that she fell in love with him because he treasured her. But she was too contrary a person to be able to deny it completely.

Honest and pure—all the more because she was unable to have emotions as white as Peter’s.

By being with him, Alice wanted to have faith in herself.

‘.....Alice.’

‘What is it, Peter?’

She went to move away the hand she’d had at his lips, but the White Rabbit took hold of it. Grasping her wrist, this time she was the one caught.

‘I love you.’

‘..........’

‘I love you. I won’t let anyone take you from me, not even a ghost. This I promise you.’

His lips as they pressed against the back of her hand felt heated.

She was surprised at the sudden kiss, but didn’t try to withdraw her hand.

‘Yes.’

Rather, that he wished for her made her happy. She even felt joy at being so wanted.

She had a feeling that the uncertainty that had always plagued her back when he had told that he was happy just being together was gradually beginning to fade.

‘It’s a promise.’

‘Of course-’

Holding tighter to his hand, as Alice began to walk, the White Rabbit happily followed after her.

Even though Alice had always, always been the one guided by this hand. Right now, that relationship was beginning to change, bit by bit.

Although, whether that was a good thing or not, she wasn’t sure.

—Please don’t forget. Even if it’s just sometimes, remember me—

She had a feeling she’d heard a lonely sounding voice come from the door she had just turned her back on.

‘..........’

She turned around just once.

But in the end, it was just a door. They always looked the same, and nobody was necessarily going to come out of one.

What she saw was a doorknob that no one was touching, a door that remained closed.

‘I couldn’t ever forget.’

She made a reply to the whisper that was so small it might be erased by the sound of their footsteps.

What Alice was trying to abandon, what she was trying to leave behind on the other side of the door was by no means something insignificant. It was something important, a part of her very own self.

As she had told Peter, what exactly that was, Alice didn’t know.

But, what Alice had chosen…..what she wanted to hold onto, was not a chilly doorknob.

‘Peter.’

‘Yes.’

There was no way she would forget, she would remember again, over and over.

‘.....I love you.’

‘Yes, I love you too, Alice!’

A white hand that didn’t wish to touch anything dirty, that rejected impurity.

A White Rabbit that was too beautiful for Alice, of whom it was difficult to say was beautiful in heart and body, to touch.

However, it was only Alice that was allowed to dirty him—right now she wondered if it was alright to have that kind of self-conceit.

‘You’re my lover! My one and only beloved…..you are everything to me!!’

An affection that was far and beyond. But even so, they were emotions that were completely untainted.

Though they were too great for someone as twisted as Alice to be able to straightforwardly accept.

She was probably the only one that could take his hand.

It was the red eyes that made her that promise that bound Alice more strongly than anything to this world.

***

‘…..Um, w-well then…..let’s begin the Assembly. It’s taken some time, but this will be the final meeting.’

Despite the many discussions that had been held, Nightmare’s awkward chairmanship was the same as ever.

And not only that, his pale complexion was busily going back and forth from red to white. Each time it did, although Gray, who was sitting next to him, covertly handed him his cue cards or whispered advice, it wasn’t enough to maintain the solemnity of an event holder.

‘So it’s finally the end. Goodness, we have been so irritated not being able to execute people whenever we wish.’

‘Um, I think that might be kind of a good thing actually…..’

Rather, for people other than her, it was likely much better to not have to be executed for no reason. Uncaring that Alice had not seemed to agree, the Queen was pouting as she swung her scepter.

‘Really, these rules are so absurd. So tedious.’

Murmuring a non-committal reply to the annoyed Queen, Alice quietly shifted her gaze.

What she had turned to look at was Peter, who was silently watching the meeting without joining in the women’s conversation.

Once this meeting finished, both the Assembly period set for them by the rules, and Alice’s stay at Heart Castle would be at an end. It would not be just one thing that would come to an end.

Even before they had come to attend the meeting, Peter hadn’t said a single word on the subject. The last time he had said that he wouldn’t be letting her go anywhere was when she had bid farewell to the doors.

However, there was no way it would end at just that. Judging from Blood’s behaviour from when they had met at the mushroom restaurant, it was clear that he had no intention of continuing to let Alice stay at Heart Castle.

‘……….’

But, how to say it.

She wasn’t sure how to say something so selfish as wanting to remain at the Castle. Alice was seriously worried as to what to do.

She thought that she had a pretty good grasp of the personalities of the people at Hatter Mansion. From how the twins had acted when they had tried to get her to come over to their seating area at the previous Assembly, it appeared that changing her place of residence would not be so easy.

If the rules were no longer in effect once the Assembly was over, then in this world of sharp weapons and flying bullets, the place might become a battlefield.

Even though she knew that if she simply returned to Hatter Mansion, she could avoid further aggravating the situation—she was unable to ignore the feelings that tightened her chest.

Her affection for Hatter Mansion was unchanged. She hadn’t forgotten the gratitude she felt towards Blood.

But even so she wanted to stay at Heart Castle, and she wasn’t sure how to tell them.

‘Everyone…that you have all remained healthy, without any absences…..um, is very well done, so g-good job on that.’

Even as Alice remained worried,  Nightmare continued his speech, his gaze desperately drifting around the room.

However, a single voice spoke, breaking apart his hard work with just a few words.

‘No one cares about this absurd meeting, Nightmare.’

‘P-Peter…..?’

‘Peter White!? What are you-…..’

Responding to Alice and the event holder Nightmare who had both reflexively called out with a glance, the White Rabbit directed his glittering gaze towards the attendee seats.

It was a tall man in a black hat that his look bore into.

‘Since all role-holders are already here, I thought I would take this opportunity to let you all know. Even once the Assembly is over, Alice won’t be returning to Hatter Mansion. She will continue to live at Heart Castle.’

There was a sudden eruption of noise.

All the participants that had been acting so bored just a moment ago reacted to this sudden speech.

‘W-What-!? Alice, you’re going to live with Petey? How nice, how nice…I wanna live at the Castle with you guys too!’

‘Stupid Mouse…..There’s no way someone like you could live at the Castle. They’ve got tons of mousetraps set up there.’

Both of them were whispering, Pierce sounding envious, Boris seemingly surprised.

On the other hand, the residents of the Castle nearby to Alice also had different reactions.

‘Coming from you, White, what a wonderful idea. If that’s the case, we do not mind co-operating with you.’

‘Hahahah, nice one, Peter. You’re for real, huh.’

Normally neither of the two ever saw eye to eye on anything, but it appeared that only in times like this they were in complete agreement. They seemed to have no objection whatsoever to the sudden proposal.

The Mafia were all alike in their change of mood at the White Rabbit’s words.

‘There’s no way we’d ever let you take Big Sis from us. All you rabbits are nothing but big idiots. You don’t seem to need your head, so let’s cut it off.’

‘That’s right. We’re the ones that should be with Big Sis. We’re not going to lend you her any longer.’

They glared.

What glittered more dangerously than the pair of axes they held were red and blue eyes. The black suit wearing twins had brutal smiles on their faces, but the feeling of high tension that emanated from them was enough to pierce the skin.

‘Alice is one of us. Don’t go saying weird stuff, you sneaky rabbit-! Just let someone like that be, and let’s go home together, Alice.’

‘Dee, Dum…..Elliot…..’

So Elliot said even while putting his hand to his gun, waiting the usual three seconds, but Alice couldn’t move.

It was all she could do to watch the response of the unmoving man who remained sitting, as if to take responsibility for them.

‘……….’

The Mafia boss didn’t seem to intend on stopping his subordinates as they suddenly stood up, and was staring fixedly at her.

It was a cold stare with no emotion in it. He was acting as lethargic as ever, but Alice wasn’t so thick-witted as to not be able to sense the sharpness within it.

‘Alice…..What’s the matter with you-‘

‘Big Sis? Why won’t you come with us?’

‘Let’s go home together.’

Noticing that Alice hadn’t gotten up, the three of them had uncertain expressions on their faces. From their point of view, it was a natural reaction. Because she had been taking refuge at Heart Castle during the fighting, they likely thought that she would return to them once things settled.

However—Alice lightly shook her head at the worried looks they gave her.

Not in agreement, but from side to side.

‘…..I’m sorry.’

Hearing her speak as if unable to do anything but apologise, they all raised their voices simultaneously.

‘”S-Sorry”?.....What do you mean by that!?’

‘Did that stupid Rabbit do something to you?’

‘Unforgivable.’

Each holding the weapons that were their specialty, the three of them all looked as if they were preparing for war, but Peter wasn’t necessarily standing back and watching either.

‘Alice won’t be returning to Hatter Mansion. She’s going to be staying with me forever. I will not hand her over!’

The White Rabbit’s golden pocket watch had already transformed into the shape of a gun, and he was holding it at the ready.

Still, no matter how strong Peter was, there was no way he’d be able to take on all three of them at once.

Forcing herself out of her frozen state, Alice stood up in order to stop Peter, who was already in the process of lining up his aim.

‘St-Stop it- We’re still in the middle of an Assembly, what about the pact-’

‘…..Th-that’s right- I’m the one in charge here, so what do you all think you’re doing-‘

‘Shut up-! XXXX caterpillars need to stay out of this-‘

Bang-!!

The short-tempered rabbit pulled the trigger at last, but luckily the bullet didn’t hit the event holder he had been aiming it at.

‘—It is as she says. We are still in the middle of an Assembly, do you mean to break the pact, March Hare?’

Gray, who had instantly taken his knife out from its holder and deflected the bullet, spoke quietly. It was clear from the look in his eyes that if they intended on taking things further, he did not plan on remaining silent either.

‘Keh- Acting all high and mighty…’

Elliot probably didn’t intend on harming Nightmare. Clicking his tongue in displeasure, he momentarily lowered the muzzle of the gun.

‘Alice, really, what’s gotten into you…..you’ll be coming home to us, right? Right? I’ll share as many of my carrot cakes with you as you like-‘

‘…..Stupid rabbit. That’s gonna have the opposite effect. Only rabbits would be happy about something like that.’

‘That’s gonna make Big Sis not want to come back, so stop it.’

‘You brats-‘

While grimacing as the three people that should have been on the same side started pointing their weapons at each other, Alice continued in a firm sounding voice.

‘I know that what I’m saying is selfish. But, I…..want to continue to stay at Heart Castle.’

‘………’

‘I can’t ask you to forgive me, but that’s what I want.’

‘When we met in town not long ago, you told me, didn’t you, young lady.’

A voice chilly enough to make her break into a cold sweat lowered the temperature of the now rowdy meeting room.

The voice of the Hatter who had maintained his silence up until now had that much weight to it.

‘You are one of my Mansion’s people. Of course, we have not yet formally welcomed you as a member of the Family, but to have you leave so easily would be a problem.’

‘Blood.’

‘It is not so easy to sever a connection with the Mafia, but that is only if you have made a contract. I’m sure you must be well aware of that, young lady.’

His impassive sounding voice contained the intimidating air of someone who stood above others. It had the kind of heavy pressure that would not allow Alice, who was not even so much as an underling, to protest.

She recalled what she had been told about Pierce at the move to the Country of Clover.

It wasn’t impossible to leave the organization. It was no big deal if one left the main branch to do as one pleased. Nonetheless, in exchange—no matter where you went, or what Country you existed in, one stayed tied to the Family.

You could do as you wished, or go somewhere else. But betrayal alone would not be forgiven.

That was how the Mafia, in this world that did not fit Alice’s common logic, operated.

‘Didn’t you tell Pierce he could change his place of residence?’

‘Yes, if you are a formal member of the Family, I do not care what you do or where. It’s because you haven’t made that kind of contract yet. We do have a connection, but I cannot say that it is a relationship you are unable to break.’

To be free was the flip side of making a contract. And as an Outsider who wasn’t bound by the rules, she could only answer with her unreliable emotions.

She thought that would be the correct way to do things.

‘Would this count as a betrayal?’

Those who betrayed the organization were killed. That that was a part of the Mafia’s rules in this strange world was something she remembered well.

She gazed closely at the face of the Hatter, but was unable to read any emotion from the expression in the green eyes.

There were times when his feelings were easy to understand, but conversely, he was also the kind of man that could hide his emotions completely like now. And if Blood didn’t want to let his emotions be read, no matter how she tried, Alice would be unable to divine his true intentions.

‘I know that I’m saying something selfish but…..I love everyone at Hatter Mansion. You might not believe me, but I think of you all as my home, and my family.’

There was no change in her consciousness that the place she wanted to return to wasn’t the place her older sister awaited her, but the headquarters of a Mafia family.

‘I love you all, and you’re the place I feel comfortable. But— the one I want to be with is Peter.’

It was just that there was someone she wished to be with more strongly than she wanted to return to them.

Depending on how you took it, perhaps what she’d said sounded like self-protection. But they were Alice’s true feelings.

‘………’

‘B-Blood-‘

‘Boss, that Rabbit’s said something weird to Big Sis. We have to hurry up and bring her home.’

‘Big Sis is gonna get taken from us-…..’

Unlike his flustered subordinates, befitting of someone who was leader of an organization, the man with the arrogant air appeared unfazed.

Just as Blood stood from his seat with a clatter-

‘Wait, wait you guys- We’re still in the middle of an Assembly, so put down your weapons!’

Nightmare raised his voice as he pounded on his desk.

His complexion was as pale as always, but unusually for him, he continued to speak in front of everyone without seeming nervous.

‘Fighting during an Assembly is strictly forbidden!’

‘Hmph, then what do you propose we do? It does not appear the Prime Minister has any intention of putting away his gun, and my group also doesn’t seem to want to back down. Do you have any good ideas, lord territory leader?’

‘Ugh…..th-that is-…..’

Nightmare hesitated a moment at the Hatter’s obviously sarcastic tone, but his exceptional right-hand man didn’t miss a beat in giving him support.

‘It’s clear things won’t be settled through a mere discussion, but surely there is no need to use guns to decide everything. There must be a more peaceful way of going about it, wouldn’t you say, Lord Nightmare?’

‘Ye-Yes. Of course! I am a distinguished person, so I’ll definitely get this under control-’

‘That’s it, that’s the spirit. Lord Nightmare…..I’m sure you can do it-‘

Bolstered by the support of his subordinates, Nightmare coughed as he continued.

‘Let me see…..how about peaceably settling this with a game?’

‘A game?’

‘Indeed. Luckily, we have a variety of them here in the Tower, we’ve got chess, board games, cards…..almost everything.’

As she blinked in surprise at the unexpected suggestion, the silver haired event holder continued further.

‘So long as it isn’t a fight to the death with weapons, it won’t be in violation of the rules. Although, that’s only if you and the Hatter agree to it.’

‘There is no need for Alice to participate in this, I will.’

Peter moved forward from where he had been standing beside Alice, but the Hatter gave an exasperated laugh.

‘This has nothing to do with you. It’s a problem between the young lady and myself. Don’t butt in where you’re not needed.’

‘This is a game that will decide the future of my beloved. And also…..with you as the opponent, there’s no telling what underhanded tricks you might use.’

‘You bastard….. you looking down on our Boss?’

Acting as the Mafia he was, Elliot threatened in a menacing sounding tone. The light of the gun he held up faster than thought glinted, but he soon lifted the muzzle upwards in a change of direction.

‘Don’t shoot, Elliot.’

‘B-But, Blood-‘

‘That’s an order. Quiet down a little.’

Following after the Hatter who held his subordinate back with his single cane, Alice also called out.

‘Peter! That goes for you, too!’

Her voice broke apart the dangerous atmosphere that was beginning to brew once more, but the White Rabbit continued to glare, his eyes fixed on Blood.

As she continued to pull on his sleeve again and again, at last the red eyes turned towards her. However, he still didn’t look convinced.

‘It’s as Blood said. This is my problem, not yours, so I should be the one to go.’

‘But, there’s no guarantee that man won’t try and cheat, is there-!?’

‘It’s rather unexpected that you think I could only win by cheating.’

Smacking the tip of his cane into the palm of his own hand, the Hatter shrugged.

Still, seeing him stop his right-hand man from getting ready to shoot once more with just a look, it appeared that Blood had no complaints with the idea.

 ‘Now that I think about it, you and I have never played a game together until now. I’m not sure of your skill, but…..since it’s you, I expect that it will be a fine match. Although of course, I don’t intend to lose either.’

Whether it was because he was displeased with the girl who had betrayed his favour, that he wanted to bring back the traitor, or perhaps—something else entirely.

As he took a step forward, she was unable to tell Blood’s true thoughts.

‘I don’t play games I plan on losing either.’

‘Heheheh. If it’s the same for the both of us, that’s fine. Oi, Nightmare.’

Whoosh.

Cutting through the air, the black cane pointed at the event holder. It was an item that occasionally changed into a machine gun, but right now showed no signs of transformation.

Nevertheless, he had to be well aware that he was someone to be approached with caution. Gray, still with knife in hand, was quietly standing in the direct line between him and his boss.

It wasn’t possible he hadn’t noticed the glint of the blade, but there was no change in the Hatter’s expression as he unconcernedly continued.

‘So then, what exactly do you propose we do to settle this? I will defer to the event holder on this occasion, so hurry up and make up your mind.’

‘Good grief, you really are always so arrogant. Now then…..there are various types of games, but I believe one in which the victor is clear would be preferable.’

The silver gaze glanced in Alice’s direction.

He was in possession of the eyes and ears to read hearts. Still, Alice wasn’t sure whether he had the ability to speak directly within someone’s mind.

Nonetheless, she had a feeling that his eyes were conveying an unmistakable message.

—This is your game. What will you choose, Alice?—

It felt as if he were asking her that sort of question.

‘……….’

Alice wasn’t sure exactly what kind of work the Hatter did. However, as a Mafia Boss it didn’t seem likely to her that he would lack skill when it came to gambling.

If it were to come to a drawn-out battle, she would probably only lose all the faster for hoping for a change in luck. But when it came to matches that were decided in an instant, like poker, luck would truly be the only deciding factor.

‘You needn’t hold back. Make him lose as spectacularly as possible, Alice. Just imagining what his face will look like when he loses amuses us all the more.’

‘What are you talking about?! Blood is hella strong- There’s no way he’s gonna lose-‘

Elliot’s voice intertwined with the elegant laugh slipped into her ears. As it did, Alice’s eyes stayed looking at the silver dream demon.

A game that Alice knew, and one in which she could formulate a strategy depending on the moves of her opponent.

‘Ah.’

Alice herself wasn’t sure why she had thought of that game. All the same, she had a feeling that its name had definitely sprung up inside her mind.

‘Hmm…..then as the holder of this Assembly, I shall decide the game.’

Whether he had really read her mind, or come up with the idea himself. As someone who couldn’t read hearts, Alice could only guess, but maintaining the authoritative air of an event holder, Nightmare chose the game.

‘Clover & Heart, a game of three matches. Do either of the two of you have any objections?’

He named the game the girl had thought of, and then almost simultaneously the Hatter and Alice shook their heads no.

***

The place the girl sat at was a large table that had been temporarily placed in the centre of the Assembly room.

‘……….’

Sitting at the table were just three people, Alice and Blood, along with Gray, who had been chosen as a neutral witness.

Peter and Elliot were each sitting in the area assigned to their respective territories as they watched over the proceedings.

She knew that even from an onlooker’s point of view she appeared nervous. Gray was looking at Alice as if worried, but purposely not calling out to her, he quietly began.

‘I believe you two already know the rules, but just in case, I will state them again. Starting now, I will be handing you the trump cards K, Q, J, 10, and A. You will each choose one out of the cards that you are holding and place it on the table.’

As the Lizard continued his matter-of-fact explanation, there were already two rows of only five cards lined up before him.

The symbols on the cards were hearts, and spades.

‘The match is decided depending on the value of the card. The exceptions are K and A, A is the only card that can beat K.’

He stretched out his hand in a smooth movement to touch the cards on the table. He pointed out the one that was both the trump and the weakest card.

‘You can only put up one card at a time, and you cannot change it once chosen. It is a game of three matches, so the first person to achieve two wins will be the victor. Normally the participants would be the ones displaying their own cards, but on this occasion, it will be conducted so that I will be the one to flip the cards you have placed face-down on the table. I take it you have no objections to these rules, Alice, Hatter?’

The golden eyes stared directly at the two sitting at the table.

Even though it was a game, it had the feeling of a solemn rite being carried out.

‘Yes, that’s fine.’

‘Likewise.’

Confirming that both had nodded their agreement, the gold eyes looked up at his master, who stood opposite him.

The contrasting silver eye conveyed his assent to proceed not in words, but through a nod.

‘…..Very well, let us begin. The two of you, please pick your cards.’

Gray passed over the cards to either side of him. Taking up the cards placed on the table, Alice quietly began to think. The symbols on the cards Alice held were hearts. It was the same symbols as on the cards she had used in her game with Vivaldi.

She snuck a glance at the man sitting on the other side of her, but he remained unmoving, his hands put together.

What he was looking at was not the game equipment, or the witness sitting between them, but only Alice.

‘Before we begin the match, there is something I would like to confirm.’

‘Blood?’

‘If we don’t agree to terms beforehand, it doesn’t appear the animals behind us will ever calm down.’

Thunk thunk.

His glove covered fingertips quietly tapped against the table. The wooden tabletop made a light sound.

‘If I win, as I’m sure you know—after the Assembly, I will have you return with us to the Mansion. That is my condition.’

‘…..Yes, I understand.’

Having come this far, she couldn’t say that this was unfair. As she gave a deep nod, Blood finally smiled at her.

The face covered in the shadow cast by the brim of his hat was the lethargic looking face of the household head that Alice was familiar with.

Slightly relieved by the sight of it, the girl spoke her terms in the event of her victory.

‘If I win, I’ll remain at Heart Castle. Is that alright with you?’

‘Very well.’

Nodding magnanimously, Blood at last stretched his hand out towards the cards set before him.

Spreading out the five cards, starting from right to left, he looked at them.

Now that he was holding his, Alice could now concentrate on choosing her card, but it didn’t last long.

Blood quickly decided on a single card, placing it face-down on the table.

‘Huh? Y-You’ve decided already!?’

‘Yes. This is my card.’

The gray-coloured gloves once more touched the card, but that was all. Putting all the remaining cards together and setting them to the side, Blood began to stare fixedly at Alice.

‘….Wh-What are you-’

‘Nothing really—I just thought I’d observe my opponent’s situation. Things like these are also part psychological warfare as well, so I must make sure I haven’t read your strategy incorrectly.’

She found this hard to believe, since he clearly had not even the slightest intention of losing.

When it came to this game, you could say that Alice was still a novice. She wasn’t sure how often Blood had played it before, but he was a man that was experienced in various things beyond the boundaries of this game. He wouldn’t allow his card to be so easily guessed.

‘….….….’

A card that had been placed so readily you could almost call it careless.

The value on the other side of it would decide the outcome of the first match. It was a three-match game, but it would all be over if, like when she had played the Queen, he was able to secure two consecutive wins.

What should she do?

The first time she had played this game at Heart Castle, Alice had lost twice in a row to Vivaldi. In a game like this, where reading the opponent and no small amount of luck was involved, it wasn’t necessarily something she could win for sure just by thinking, but she couldn’t help but worry over it.

‘….….….’

The meeting room that had been in a ruckus just a moment ago was now completely silent, as if it had absorbed her nervousness.

Finally deciding on a card at the end of much thought, Alice placed a card on the table face-down, just as Blood had.

‘So you’ve made your decision, young lady?’

‘….Yes, this is the one I pick.’

The girl’s voice as she answered was firm, and after meeting her eye, Gray moved to turn the cards.

‘Well then—let’s begin.’

The long arms turned over both the cards he had put a hand to simultaneously.

Not just the two of them, the gazes of everyone in the room was concentrated on the two symbols that were revealed.

10, and Q.

‘Congratulations, young lady. It appears you have won the first match.’

‘Th-Thank you.’

Alice felt relieved at the result, but this game didn’t end at just one match.

If she won the next, Alice’s victory would be assured, but she was unable to think that he would lose so simply.

Not only that, but the more powerful cards would also be used up the more that she won. The longer the game dragged on, the more likely it would be that she would have to read her opponent’s thoughts in order to win.

‘Hmph, I see….Then, this is what I choose.’

So casually you wouldn’t think he had just lost one match, Blood once more decided on a card, putting it forward. Placing it face down as he had just before, he placed his hands together, resting his chin atop them.

‘Now then, I look forward to seeing which card you pick. It amuses me to see you thinking it over so seriously.’

‘…..…..…’

He seemed to be making fun of her, but it would all be over if she allowed him to pull her into his pace.

They both still had the trump card A. If she thought it over simply and played K, Alice would have a high chance of winning, but if he had played A having expected that, it wouldn’t just be a mere evening of the score. Having already played her Q card, she would all at once be at a disadvantage in the final match.

Thinking it over for a moment, Alice placed her chosen card face-down, and then the Hatter spoke up as if he had just remembered something.

‘Young lady.’

‘? What is it, Blood?’

‘I would like to ask you something, just for my own reference. What is it that that Prime Minister has that I-that is, my Mansion doesn’t?’

‘…..Something that Hatter Mansion doesn’t have?’

‘Yes. I am having difficulty understanding why it is you wish to stay in that Castle so much. If there is something there that you want, that our Mansion doesn’t have, I would like to ask you what that might be.’

‘…..…..…’

Hand still on her card, Alice couldn’t help but worry for a moment.

She hadn’t thought that Blood would ever ask her something like this.

Something that Heart Castle had, that Hatter Mansion didn’t.

‘…..…..…’

As she searched for the answer, eyes still looking downwards, she was unable to immediately think of anything. They were both places where guns and bladed weapons were pulled out immediately, so in that sense they weren’t all that different. In this world, Alice was an Outsider, and thus was unable to truly become like them.  She was aware of that.

‘Alice?’

‘Ah, sorry. Continue, Gray.’

Looking up in a fluster at the quizzical sounding Lizard’s voice, she urged him to continue.

‘Well then, this is the second match. These are their two cards.’

Taking up the cards with steady fingertips, he laid bare the front sides of the cards.

The cards revealed on the table were J—and Q.

The corners of the winner’s mouth lifted up in a sly grin.

‘Oh, what a shame. It appears the second match goes to me.’

‘I realise that.’

‘Ah, I feel relieved. It would be so tedious if my game with you ended just like that. I shall have you entertain me until the very end.’

They each now had a win. An even score.

Nonetheless, on the emotional side of things, there was a big difference beginning to appear between Blood, whose clearly confident attitude showed no signs of breaking, and Alice.

They both still held the K and A cards. As near as they were to the end, both were still in possession of the trump cards.

‘…..…..…..’

The only other card Blood had was J.

On the other hand, Alice’s other sole remaining card was 10.

The situation was still one in which, no matter which card they played, they could win, lose, or come to a draw, any number of patterns were possible.

However, if she were to lose this game—Alice would no longer be able to stay at Heart Castle.

That feeling of anxiety caused the girl’s fingers to waver as she went to pick her card.

‘Maybe this one…..no, but…this one…no, but maybe-‘

Perhaps it was just like her that she was unable to imagine herself winning no matter what she did.

Just as she was biting down on her lip and groaning, ‘Alice,’ a voice sounded from directly opposite her, calling her name.

The hand of the man who had wasted no time picking a card for each of the first two matches was right now not touching the cards at all.

‘What is it, Blood?’

‘I’m glad you are paying such close attention to your game with me, but I haven’t yet heard your answer to my question from earlier.’

‘Huh?’

‘I cannot let this game come to an end without hearing your answer.’

‘…..…….’

Something that Heart Castle had, that Hatter Mansion didn’t.

She hadn’t yet been able to find the answer that she hadn’t made before.

For a moment she considered side-stepping the question, but the look in Blood’s eyes was serious. He was someone she already knew had an unexpectedly stubborn side to him. Since he had made up his mind to hear her answer, he likely would refuse to budge.

While feeling Blood’s gaze on her, Alice glanced for a moment at the inner seating area where the White Rabbit sat.

‘Alice…’

Seeming anxious, but all the same awaiting Alice’s victory, Peter appeared to be staying put, but was likely not feeling so calm on the inside. In the same way, Elliot and the others were also watching her, troubled looks on their faces.

That’s right, whether it be the Castle or the Mansion, Alice the Outsider was likewise accepted at both places.

 So then, how had she reached her decision to remain at the Castle?

‘Heart Castle and Hatter Mansion…..’

Something that place had, that the Mansion didn’t.

That is—in other words, something that Peter possessed, that Blood and the others didn’t.

Both were undoubtedly important people to Alice.

Had she chosen to remain there because she had been drawn to something that Peter had?

‘—That’s not it, it’s the opposite.’

‘The opposite?’

As Blood responded to the words she had suddenly murmured with a lifted eyebrow, she shook her head.

‘I didn’t necessarily make my decision because there was something Heart Castle had, or that Hatter Mansion didn’t have.’

 ‘…..…..…’

‘That person has nothing important to him.’

Blood, Elliot, the Twins. They each had things that were important to them. Their boss, their subordinates, things that they liked, they definitely all had things to love.

If Alice were to leave, they would miss her. They would no doubt cause trouble for their colleagues by suddenly skipping out on work.

But even so—even without Alice there, none were the kind of person that would lose everything.

 ‘I’m the only thing important to him, without me there, he can’t connect to anyone.’

Even though it had always been his role to guide Alice.

Right now, she felt that someday she wanted to be the one to take Peter, who was unable to connect to anyone, along with her.

‘Is that not just pity?’

‘That’s not it. After all, since I’m the only one that can take Peter’s hand…..although I do feel as if I can’t leave him to himself, that I want to be with him forever is a stronger emotion than that.’

The perfected love that she had once seen at her mother’s funeral, the kind that could end a world because of the death of a single person.

 Even if she couldn’t imagine it being exactly the same as theirs had been—Alice was certain that Peter was a partner that wanted her.

‘For example, even if I wasn’t there anymore, Blood…tea wouldn’t lose flavour for you, would it?’

‘…..…….’

‘That’s what I mean.’

There was nothing outside of Alice that he wanted, he was unable to wish for anything else.

So pure that nobody else could touch him, a White Rabbit that belonged only to Alice.

‘Hmph. I see, so that’s the answer you’ve come to.’

Nodding once, Blood abruptly took up his remaining cards.

No sooner had the green eyes glanced at the cards, than he picked one and placed it on the table without any hesitation, just as he had before.

‘Then, let us continue our game. I’m sure you know that whether your answer will be realized or not depends on the victor.’

‘…..Yes, I know.’

Until the last, she had no idea what hand he had played.

Nonetheless, Alice also had to come to a decision.

Letting her gaze drop once more to the cards she had continued to hold onto, she picked one from among them.

As she put it on the table as if following after Blood, she gave the signal to the witness.

‘This will be the final match. The two of you are both certain these are the cards you want?’

‘Yes.’

‘Yes, please continue, Gray.’

‘—Understood.’

His fingertips roughly touched the final cards.

‘Now then—’

Along with the short sentence, the values on the cards as they were turned over were revealed.

It wasn’t just Alice sitting at the table who was holding her breath. The participants sitting around her were also deeply focused on seeing the result.

The values on the cards that had been played were different. It wasn’t a draw.

One card was K, and the other was A. Therefore, the victor and loser were clear.

‘…..…….’

‘…..…….’

All the same, the winner was tilting their head as if puzzled. As if they didn’t understand how this result had come about, with that sort of question in their gaze, they looked at their game partner.

‘Wh-…..Why?’

‘That should be my line, young lady. Even though you’ve won, why make a face like that?’

Still looking oddly amused despite having lost, Blood flicked one of the remaining cards.

On the other hand, still not sure whether to feel exhausted or rejoice, Alice simply continued to look at the man’s face. She still didn’t understand his reasoning.

‘…..I thought you were good at card games.’

‘That’s right. I don’t often lose. It wasn’t quite a complete defeat, but it’s been a while since I’ve lost a match two to one.’

Changing the direction of her gaze at those words, the shock of the people of Hatter Mansion was incomparable to Alice’s.

‘You’ve got to be kidding…..it can’t be that Blood- Blood lost-! No way, did Alice really win against Blood of all people!?’

‘Wow, Big Sis, what kind of tricks did you pull…?’

‘Even though we’ve never won.....not even once.’

Even now Elliot’s jaw looked as if it were about to hit the floor. The twins’ two coloured eyes were wider than she had ever seen them, as if they had forgotten how to even blink.

Even the top brass appeared to be in the same state. As for the so-called faceless maids and servants, they were scrambling to look out the windows, asking ‘Is it going to rain or something?’, looks of serious concern on their faces. It appeared they were in complete disbelief at their boss’ defeat.

Still, even if it wasn't to the same extent, Alice was also in the same state of mind.

It wasn’t the first time she had played this game, but she was still pretty much a beginner. While she didn’t think a Mafia Boss would be able to reach the position they had through luck alone, she thought it unlikely they’d be able to do it completely without it.

‘I thought you definitely would have been able to read my card.’

‘Heheheh, you’ve overestimate me, young lady. There is no woman who surpasses my expectations more than you do.’

Despite his loss, Blood was acting more like the victor than she was. He appeared to even be enjoying his subordinates’ collective consternation.

‘The victor has been decided, you are the winner of this game. You should pick the territory you wish to reside in.’

‘Ah.....r-right.’

Truth be told, hearing him say those words so readily, Alice was unable to keep up with what was happening.

He had talked so much about how they were family, and how despite not being a part of the Family she was something close to it, she hadn’t thought he’d let her go so easily.

She had experienced a similar emotion back when he had given her permission to stay temporarily at Heart Castle. Even though she wanted to go to where Peter was, a part of her had been thinking that she wanted him to stop her.

What a dirty, selfish way of thinking.

‘.....I’ll be going to Heart Castle, Blood.’

‘Yes, if that’s what you’ve decided, that’s what you should do.’

Seeing him do an about-face and act so easygoing simply because he had lost a game, she couldn’t help but think that in the end an Outsider’s rarity held no meaning for Blood.

Though she still felt guilty for leaving them, having already made up her mind, she had no right to criticize his attitude. Still, she hadn’t thought he would send her off like this.

Ah, she really was dirty.

She couldn’t help but feel that her emotions were filthy.

‘Alice.’

‘Blood, I—huh?’

Just as she had thought her name had been called, a pair of amused green eyes were immediately before her.

Why was he so close? Faster than she could ask the question, the grey-coloured gloves reached out to her chin.

‘Huh-, w-wait, Blood!!’

‘Hatter, you-.....’

As Alice panicked, faster than Gray, who was sitting closest to them could stop him, the Hatter’s lips traced the girl’s cheek.

‘.....Wha- wh-wh-wh-what are you-.....!!’

‘Your face is bright red, young lady.’

With a sly grin, moving as seamlessly as when he had come closer, Blood stepped backwards. In the place the black suit had been in just a moment ago, cutting through the wind, something flew through.

Something that was a common sight in this world, a fired bullet.

‘Blood Dupre.’

Trembling all over, the White Rabbit was holding up his gun.

‘A man like you is.....unforgivable. What do you think you’re doing to Alice, giving her your germs.....you deserve a thousand deaths! Die-!’

Brandishing the gun he had earlier put away once before, Peter was earnestly shooting to kill the Hatter, but unfortunately, none of the bullets hit Blood.

‘Fufufu, what a short-tempered Prime Minister. I was merely wishing an important friend a bit of luck upon their new journey.’

‘She does not need any luck from the Mafia! I shall return it to you in bullets.’

Bang, bang!

Evading them with light steps, almost as if he were dancing, Blood suddenly met Alice’s gaze.

His eyes said, ‘With someone like this, I think you’re going to have a fair amount of trouble, don’t you?’ but the words his lips spoke were completely different.

‘Alice, if you ever tire of the Prime Minister, come home at any time. Your home is my Mansion, after all. Think of it as your family home and drop by whenever you like.’

—I’ll be waiting for you, young lady—

‘Who would ever want to go to such a bacteria-covered Mansion-?! Alice would never go there, and neither would I let her-!’

‘White Rabbit, cut it out. We’re still in the middle of an Assembly!’

The Lizard’s voice didn’t reach Peter. As the Rabbit continued to shoot, the Queen on the other side of him was frowning in annoyance.

‘What a noisy Rabbit. If you must finish him, do it in one shot.’

‘Hahaha. You’re so violent, Peter.’

Laughing loudly, the Knight didn’t seem about to stop him either.

The meeting room which was originally supposed to be used for pointless discussions was now becoming a battleground of flying bullets.

‘P-Peter White! Stop, those bullets are even reaching where I am, you know!? ....-Uwah- It almost hit me-, it almost hit me, I said-!’

‘Lord Nightmare, why are you only out in front in times like this-!? In moments like this, please evacuate into a dream-‘

The event holder who should have had the situation under control just a moment ago was now running around frantically trying to escape, that was now the current state of the meeting room.

‘...........’

Even so, this is the world I chose.

She almost had a headache thinking that she had already grown completely used to scenes like these. She didn’t think Blood would let himself get shot so easily, but she couldn’t just stay watching the White Rabbit go on a rampage like this. The situation was completely different to the one when he had shot at Pierce in the Forest.

Finally standing up from her seat, she turned around towards the Rabbit behind her and called out.

‘Peter, stop it already-. We’re still in an Assembly. Don’t ignore the pact-‘

‘I do not care about the pact! Killing that man is much more important-‘

Peter answered while continuing to shoot, but there was one person who had continually been listening to the sounds of the gunshots who called out faster.

‘O-Over, the meeting is over I say-! From here on out, I declare the Assembly finished!’

The event holder making the announcement in a voice that was like a scream—the Assembly period that had continued on since the move to the Country of Clover had now come to an end.

[crusty-chronicles]

hii! after reading ur moon and son halloween special, it got me thinking ab kurapika and yn. if its not too much to ask, could you do a small special where kurapika figures out why yn hates their clan? it could be a drabble, short chapter, hcs, whatever youd like to write, i was js super curious for what kurapikas reaction would be

love ur writing 🩷🩵

I'm gonna start this off with a minor spoiler warning for the end chapters of Moon and Sun. Nothing too big so don't worry.

Okay, we Good? There's only four people who really know about what happened with Y/n and their clan. Gon, Killua, Kite, and Ging. The first three are for obvious reasons. Now the only reason Ging knows is because he's got a part to play in future chapters, which I will not be disclosing at this time. That being said, what Kurapika knows/ learns about is a very watered down version of events. Below is a oneshot of how he finds out and reacts.

The Difference Between You and I

⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️

It was ironic, really, when you looked back on what happened a few days ago. You didn't think you had it in you anymore to dislike someone so much. Especially since he was one of the boys' closest friends.

You wanted your first meeting to be friendly, even if a part of you was still bitter he hadn't bothered to see Gon at the hospital. You'd hoped to get along with him as well as you did with Leorio.

 But opposites attract you suppose.

The two of them couldn't have been any more different from each other. Leorio was a stubborn loudmouth depending on who he interacted with. Acting purely on impulse most of the time. Yet despite that, he had a heart of gold from what you could tell.

Treating Gon and Killua with as much care as you did. Wanting to be a doctor in order to help those who couldn't afford proper medical care. Hell, he was even currently helping you with your ‘condition.’

Kurapika, on the other hand, was quiet and reserved. At least from what the boys had told you. Though you noticed he also seemed distant. Rarely ever picking up his phone and even rarer were the times he'd actually show up in person.

But you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. 

If the boys loved him, how bad could he really be? 

And if Leorio was dating him, then surely he had some redeeming qualities.

Well turns out fate had a funny way of playing things out. Irony at its best. 

—----------------------

You'd arrived in York New about the same time as the boys. Having come for your ‘usual’ checkup. Something you blamed on that damn cat along with yourself. 

You'd agreed beforehand to meet up right after for lunch. The three of you communicating through a small group chat. Although you were still struggling with the newer technology. Not yet used to actually having a phone. But you digress.

It was during Leorio's final evaluation that you were made aware of the blonde’s presence.

“You getting anything?” He asked.

You shook your head, unable to focus your eyes. Six months and your nen was still shot. What a pain.

“Don't push yourself. Remember, we still have a few treatments to test out. You're not out of luck just yet.”

“I know. I just kinda want the process to be over already, you know? Get things back to normal.” Well, as normal as you could be.

Leorio was about to respond before a ‘ding’ from his phone went off. He gave an apologetic look as he checked what it was. 

Although he knew you didn't mind, he still wanted to be professional. This was his job and he took pride in it. Despite his nonchalant demeanor.

“Woah! Kurapika's in town!”

“Kurapika?” The one who usually ignores all his calls? The one who put revenge before his dying friend? But you thought better than to say that out loud. Instead you settled on-

“He's…blonde, right?”

Leorio looked up at you with a bewildered expression. Out of all the things you could say, it was that. It was almost enough to make him laugh.

“Yes? You know, you've got an odd way of remembering people.”

“But I'm not wrong, am I? You gonna see him after this?” You asked with a teasing smirk.

“Yeah. It's been a while. I think the boys would be happy to see him too.” He gestured to the three kids that sat waiting outside of your room.

Two of which were now excitedly staring at their phones. The third sleeping contently on her brother's shoulder.

“You should meet him too.” Leorio suggested.

And although you appreciated the offer, it didn't feel right for you to tag along. You didn't want things to potentially be awkward. Plus, you weren't the best with new people.

“I don't wanna intrude. I'd rather the four of you catch up. Like old times. Well maybe not the four of you if Alluka has anything to say about it.” Already knowing the small girl went everywhere Killua did. 

“You'd really do that. I know it's been months since you spent time with the boys.”

“Yeah but it's been a year since they even heard from Kurapika. Besides, I'll meet him when I pick the boys up. I'm here for three more days after all. And then~you and Kurapika could spend some time by yourselves.”

His face flushed a bright red at the insinuation. Playfully shoving your head to the side.

“About time you paid me back for all the times I watched the boys for you.”

—-----------------------

The two of you finished up, with Leorio briefly leaving to request his break. The kids wasted no time rushing you once you exited the room.

“Any luck this time?” Gon asked.

“Sadly, no. But there's always next time, right?” You tried to reassure. But he didn't look all that convinced. 

“If it doesn't work out, you know you can always ask Nanika to-” Killua started to offer, but you stopped him before he could finish.

“It's fine if I can't get it back. I'll just have to get used to being a normie. Unless, you've got a problem with normies?” Your tone was teasing as you ruffled the small assassin's hair. 

Your attention was redirected towards a pull on your sleeve.

“I don't mind helping Big Sib,” Alluka assured.

“I mind. I'll be okay so don't worry about it…In other news, I heard one of your friends just got here.” You quickly changed the subject. Not wanting to bring down the mood. You wanted today to be a good day.

And judging by the way both boys beamed up at you, it would be.

“Yeah! Kurapika's gonna be here for a few days! I hope you don't mind if he comes with us today.” Gon explained.

You could never really say no to that kid, even if you had already planned to give the duo space today. You returned his cheerful grin with one of your own.

“Course not. To be honest, I was gonna let the four of you reconnect in peace.”

“Peace? You make it sound like we're embarrassed of you,” Killua mumbled.

“What was that?”

“I said, ‘Four of us? What about my sister?’” he quickly covered. Though he could tell you heard what he said first. But you'd let him off the hook this time.

For now.

“Why don't I take her shopping while you guys catch up?”

“Shopping? You can afford that now?” His tone was playful, but there was a genuine hint of concern somewhere in there.

“Hey!” You scolded, about to come up with a retort before Gon stepped in.

“Yeah! They're working with Kite and his team. It's why they travel so much now.”

At the mention of the former silver haired hunter, Killua's expression soured.

“Sibling stealer.”

At that, you pinched his cheek.

“Har har. You mad at him because we're dating now or because Alluka occasionally calls him dad?”

He covered his ears, face slightly red from embarrassment as he tugged Gon away. Not bothering to wait for Leorio.

“We’re leaving now! Have her back by six!”

—-------------

Safe to say, they were overjoyed to see Kurapika again. Both boys eagerly questioning him about his new Zodiac status, while Leorio reminded them not to overwhelm him with questions.

Kurapika was glad to back, if only for a brief moment. He truly did miss them, but his mission always came first. He'd already made tremendous progress recovering his clan’s eyes. His new Zodiac status aiding in his endeavors.

But through pursuing his goal, he'd evidently missed out on a lot with his friends and partner. 

The boys were 13 going on 14 now. Gon had achieved his own goal and met Ging. Traveling with him up until a month ago.

Killua had managed to finally get away from his family, bringing his little sister with him. The two of them also traveling around. Which begs the question, where was she currently?

Leorio had become a doctor, having just been promoted to a zodiac after the election. Which Kurapika did watch, very much proud of how far he got.

Yes, so much had changed.

He supposed it was bittersweet in a way. The three of them already shooting for a new goal while he was still trying to complete his. 

But he truly was grateful for the time he spent with them today. That he was still considered important to them despite his distance. He made a mental note to try harder once he left.

It wasn't before very long that Leorio had to return to work. His break over too soon for the blonde's liking. 

So with a smooch on his cheek and a ‘ewww!’ from the boys, Leorio was off. Leaving Kurapika with the duo. 

Now while you were aware of Kurapika, he had no idea of your existence until the boys mentioned you in passing.

—-----------------------

A desert of some kind sat in front of them.

“Y/n would for sure love this. Do you think we should take them some?” Killua asked, the question directed towards Gon.

“They’ll be upset if we don't. And you know what that means.” Gon responded.

“They won't carry us for a week. You think we're getting too old for that?” But before their conversation could continue, Kurapika spoke up. Curious about the new name they mentioned.

“Y/n?”

Both boys looked up at him surprised before remembering the two of you had never met.

“Y/n’s the person that’s been taking care of us since Greed Island. They're our big sibling,” Gon proudly announced while Killua nodded along.

You seemed to be very close to them.

“Right now they're with Alluka. They wanted to give the four of us a chance to catch up.” Killua added.

That explained why his sister wasn't here. And if Killua trusted you with her, then you must've been reliable too.

A good person.

“Tell me more about them.”

—-----------------------

Truthfully, all odds pointed at the two of you getting along. You were cut from the same cloth, so to speak. Both coming from strong clans. Both losing them during your childhood.

Your lazy demeanor would have paired nicely with his quiet one. You always were more comfortable around less energetic people. 

His analytical skills were on par with yours. A strong head on both of your shoulders. 

Even if you were still upset with Kurapika, the two boys knew you'd get along with him in time. Sure you'd probably chew him out for not answering his phone, but you'd warm up to him nevertheless.

So what was it exactly that put you at odds with each other?

The catalyst that sparked endless animosity between you?

Well, it just so happened to be the subject of your clan that started it.

It was an accident, truly. Gon didn't mean for it to slip out. He just got so excited telling Kurapika about you that he forgot some details weren't meant to be shared.

“You know, I'm kinda glad Nanika erased their memories. Y/n is a lot happier now that they're clan isn't looking for them anymore. They weren't good people to begin with so don't feel too bad about it.”

Gon had been explaining before slapping a hand over his mouth. Him and Killua looking at each other with wide eyes. Gazes briefly glancing over towards Kurapika for his reaction.

They knew he could be touchy with the subject. Watching him carefully to see if his eyes changed. Instead, they were met with a suspicious stare. Not exactly positive, but not really negative either.

“What do mean their clan isn't looking for them anymore? Did something happen between them?”

Because Kurapika, for the life of him, couldn't fathom a family giving up on one of their own. But the subject wasn't as black and white as he suspected.

“We're not really supposed to say. It's not like they told us not to tell anyone, but it's their privacy. You know?” Gon informed.

Not only was it your business, but it was also something you trusted the two of them with. And he was the last person who should be spilling your secrets.

The two boys once again eyed each other. You wouldn't be mad if they told Kurapika. So long as he didn't bring it up directly to you.

Besides, the chain user would just ask you in person if he didn't get an answer. He was direct by nature. Something you would respect, but not if it concerned your ‘family.’

So what was the worse outcome?

They say nothing and Kurapika asks you directly about it. Or he finds out another way.

The second option: they partially explain the situation. Not getting into too much detail, but enough to satisfy their friend’s curiosity.

“If it's not something you want to discuss, then I won't-” but Killua stopped him from finishing his sentence.

“If we tell you, you have to promise you won't say we told you anything. Got it?” 

It wasn't that they were wary of their friend, god no. They just didn't want the two of you butting heads in the future. 

Kurapika gave a small nod.

“Y/n doesn't get along well with their clan. They haven't since they were a little kid. They just don't feel comfortable or safe around them anymore.” Gon started.

“Why?”

“They sorta had a disagreement with them. And that's putting it very lightly. An argument about how things were being done. And how their practices were wrong. That's all we can really say.” Killua continued.

The rest would have to come directly from you. If you ever got around to trusting Kurapika. Something that sadly wouldn't come to fruition.

“So they're estranged from their clan because of a disagreement?” And for whatever reason, that made Kurapika upset.

Your clan was alive and healthy. They'd been looking for you. And here you were being petty. Avoiding them because of it.

When all his people were slaughtered like nothing. Never even having the chance to say goodbye. 

He wanted to think there was more to it. That there was something big the boys weren't telling him. And there was, but he'd never get to learn about what it was.

How similar your grief was to his with him losing Pairo and you losing Kari.

The rest of the afternoon felt tense. Kurapika tried not to show his discomfort, but both boys could tell anyways. Seems the two of you wouldn't get along after all.

It was only a matter of time before you went to get them. Alluka trailing happily behind you with an ice cream cone as you struggled with her bags. Most of which were toys. 

Both boys quickly grabbed a few from you to lighten the load. Your eyes drifting over to the blonde behind them.

So that was Kurapika.

“Alluka! You can't just make them carry everything. Next time help.” Killua scolded.

Said girl, looked up at her big brother with a pout. 

“I did. Mama/Papa said no.”

Her answer prompted a small glare from him. This time directed at you.

“You have her spoiled.”

“You’re just jealous I don't baby you anymore.” You retorted.

“I think it's because Alluka's a girl.” Gon added as he took another bag from you.

“She's not just a girl. She's a princess!” You lightly pinched her cheeks, causing her to let out a squeal.

You looked up to see their blonde friend standing awkwardly away. Perhaps not wanting to interrupt the four of you. 

“You gonna introduce me to your friend?” 

At the sound of your voice he straightened up. Both boys urging you towards him.

“Y/n, this is Kurapika. Kurapika, Y/n.”

It was a brief introduction. Well, you supposed it was time for you to plaster on a smile and try to befriend him. Hopefully things would go well.

“Hi. So you're the infamous Kurapika? Glad you could make a special guest appearance today. I hope the boys weren't too much.” 

You extended your hand in greeting. Wishing you could focus your eyes on him to get a proper read of what he was feeling. He reciprocated your handshake with less enthusiasm than you were expecting.

To be fair, he probably just found out about you.

“Likewise. It's a pleasure to meet the person who they've been talking my ear off about for the last two hours. Apologies for interrupting your time together.”

He was surprisingly polite. Honestly, you were expecting him to be somewhat rowdy like the rest of their friends. Not that you minded.

You needed another levelheaded friend to talk to. And if you were correct, he was about two years younger than you. 

But then things quickly started going downhill.

“My intel tells me you come from a clan like me? Do I have that right?” He asked, unawares that was not the right thing to say. Despite his intention to strike up a friendly conversation.

“Intel?” Your tone was panicked.

 The mere mention of your past life enough to make you spiral. Something both boys could tell was happening from the way you stiffened.

“Uh Kurapika. Maybe now's not the-” Gon tried, but it was too late.

“I don't belong to any clan. I never did, so don't you ever bring it up again.” Ice.

Your demeanor was cold, an indication that you were mad. Though you tried to calm yourself. Maybe he didn't know not to ask that.

He couldn't have known.

You just didn't want to talk about it with anyone. Especially not a stranger you just met. 

“Damn. I knew we shouldn't have told him.” Killua said, already knowing where this conversation was heading. He quickly covered Alluka's ears.

“I don't understand why you're so upset about it. Could the disagreement you had really be that irksome to you.” The blonde's tone dismissive. 

The thing that inevitably set you off.

Irksome.

Like they didn't just try to kill you half a year ago. Like they didn't murder your sister right in front of you. Like they didn't turn your best friend against you.

“I said drop it. It's none of your business. But you know what should've been, since you're so keen on family.”

“Y/n don't-” Gon tried once more, tugging on your arm to get you attention.

“Checking up on your friends every once in a while. Do you even know about what happened to these two?”

“Guys,” Killua warned.

“Of course I know. You think I'm an idiot not to know about the Chimera Ant situation?” Kurapika's voice increasing in volume to match yours.

“Yeah? You know about Illumi hunting down Killua and his sister while his family watched? About the two of them almost being killed to better their psycho family's power? You know about Gon being hospitalized? About how nothing short of a miracle saved his life? You know about all that?”

Judging by the shocked expression on his face, he didn't know. He glanced over to the two boys to verify. And when they looked down to avoid his eyes, he knew you weren't lying.

He hadn't been a very good friend, had he?

“Didn't think so. So next time you think I owe you anything, think about how you've never given anyone anything. I don't owe you shit. I don't owe you an explanation and I sure as hell don't owe you my time!” 

Was it a petty argument that got way out of hand?

Absolutely.

The truth is, if you could get past your one difference, the two of you would see you have a lot in common. Might've even become good friends.

 But you can never trust someone who takes the people they care about for granted. Who had the opportunity to support their friend on their deathbed instead of chasing after shadows of the past. Who only lets anger and hatred guide their actions.

And Kurapika could never befriend someone who doesn't understand how good they have it. Who still has the opportunity to see their family instead of their corpses. And maybe he's envious of the fact. He'd give anything to spend five minutes with his clan while you can't even bare thinking about them for five seconds.

And while you two disliked each other, you'd just have to learn to tolerate the other for the sake of your friends.

—-------------

MASTERLIST

An: I didn't know if I should add tags to this one because technically it's not apart of our main story. More like an expansion on the lore, if you can even call it that. Now, I love Kurapika, I really do. But I feel like our insert from Moon and Sun would absolutely despise him. On the bright side, I should be able to start uploading a little more frequently now. Might even get back to weekly updates. We'll see~