#even if your job is alien supervillain

[crehador]

i can already tell he is going to be an enormous mood

[zo3mess]

Bitter-sweet

Summary: Officers from other towns were reassigned to help the understaffed police force in Evergreen after the butterfly massacre. The good old game of cat and mouse begins with Vigilante continuing his shenanigans and one police officer determined to catch him. Except it is not entirely clear who is chasing whom.

Warnings: 18+, smut, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex (don’t be stupid and use protection guys), blood play, gun play (but not really) enemies to enemies with benefits type of relationship, violence, dead bodies, alcohol consumption, foul language. Female reader and no use of Y/N.

Word count: 5.4k (my hand slipped, I’m sorry) 

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Extra songs for this fic

Masterlist of my works

Note: I realized I missed writing so much since I don’t write essays in school anymore and I got quite a positive reaction on my last work Laundry girl (I love you guys fr). This time I tried something different? I feel like this is messier than the last one, lousy idea, but you know how it is. Also I have never written smut before, so get ready for some weird shit. English is not my first language, I apologize for mistakes, especially with tenses. Criticism is very much welcomed! Thank you for every like, reblog and comment, it makes me all giddy whenever I get a notification <3

The Project Butterfly was a case that shocked everyone. Aliens invading Earth? Shady business with convicts led by Waller? Something that shocked you personally was the sudden disappearance of whole police precinct in Evergreen. Whole town ended up with no cops and needed help. Which was a great opportunity for you to start up.

Your dream? Gotham. City swarmed with villains. You needed to prove you’re tough enough for catching real supervillains. Where better to start than Evergreen? You agreed to relocate there to help, however your real target was Vigilante.

Some people said that what he was doing was good, catching criminals and ending their lives before they could do it again. But no one deserves to be above law and deciding fate of souls that can still reach redemption. Even if he helped saved the world from alien invasion.

So many times you saw him creeping through the streets late at night, but never managing to get close enough. After a few encounters, he realized you were specifically after him. A fan who kept a close eye on his work.

And since then, he started taunting you. Leaving a big V with the blood of his victims for you, quite few times even turning the signature letter into a heart. And they say romance is dead.

One night when you were stumbling home back from a bar, you heard weird sounds coming from an alleyway next to an abandoned store. Nothing out of the ordinary you would think, but it sounded like someone was in pain. You would be a bad cop to not help someone in need, no matter if it was past your working hours.

With caution you walked over there, lamp lights did a shitty job illuminating the streets, but you were able to recognize a body laying on the ground. Blood was seeping from under the man who was killed by a clear headshot, judging by the injuries you were able to see.

Quiet shuffling and groaning was audible from a distance. The realization that something is very wrong came far too late. Before you could even recognize what was happening a stranger pulled you around the corner and your yelp was muffled by a gloved hand.

“Shhhh shhh. It’s just me.” Vigilante. As if that made it any better. “If I remove my hand, will you scream?”

Decisions, decisions. You were more likely to punch him in the face rather than scream, but if he just killed the guy, it wasn’t smart to start a fight with someone riding on adrenaline and someone who is far more ready to fight. You would not cause much damage in high heels, short dress and still tipsy from the bar.

Eventually you shook your head, and he removed his hand from your face. Uncomfortable silence filled the air. Should you even ask what happened?

You searched for his eyes behind the red visor, until you noticed he was staring down. Was he…

“Are you staring at my tits?’’

“Your heart is beating really fast.” A simple observation that mesmerized him. He also wasn’t completely calm, quite the opposite. Since you disrupted his hunt so abruptly. Before you came he had been planning on drawing a nice big V on the floor for you, a greeting he sent you every time he left a corpse behind him.

A gloved hand made its way to your cleavage, pressing his hand against your skin to feel it rise and fall with every shallow breath you took. Your wide eyes followed his bold move, you felt the warmth of his body and it was making you feel insane.

All this time in Evergreen you focused on getting near to Vigilante, to catch him and serve some justice for reckless behavior, for playing God. And now he was closer than ever, even daring to touch you without a doubt in his head, it made your brain circuit.

You noticed he started to breathe faster too, his chest piece was rising with every deep inhale, and even in the low light of the street lamp you saw a dark stain on his mask. It did not take long before he rolled up the bottom half of his mask in exhaustion. No wonder he had trouble breathing when blood was flowing from his nose onto his lips that did not look exactly intact too.  Must have been a heavy fight.

“Not so fast on your feet now, huh?”  You had to mock him for it of course. All this time he was counting on his swiftness, it finally caught up to him.

“Shut up.” Vigilante tried to wipe the blood off his face with his wrist, groaning as he did so. Simultaneously you were taking a mental note that he was in fact comfortable with showing you the bottom half of his face. What was in your head an investigation of a target, he saw as blunt staring.

For a moment you two kept ogling each other. You took interest in the little human part he showed you, bloody puffy lips, clean-shaven jaw and few moles on his cheeks all felt surreal after all this time you saw him as a simple masked head with a red visor. Vigilante on the other had studied your eyes, how bright they suddenly looked, how they gazed at him with curiosity and most importantly how they kept flicking to his lips. He was no genius but a voice inside his head told him there was a tad more to this.

Something about stopping the alien invasion made him bolder, more confident, most of the time he felt like king of the world. Of course, people that knew him as Adrian Chase, a dorky weirdo, had no idea he basically saved the world. But you knew and he loved it.

You saw him as a villain, or at least desperately wanted him to be, and Adrian saw himself as hero of Evergreen. Heroes always get the girl, right? That’s how it should go.

He suddenly pressed his lips against yours, releasing a low painful groan when your noses got smushed. Hands dropped to your waist to pull you closer and yours found their way to his chest. Finally there was an opportunity to touch the expensive suit.

Vigilante pulled away before you could kiss him back. Maybe the alcohol made you much more reckless than you thought. “You taste bitter.” He commented and licked his lips. Was it that surprising? Considering you rocked a perfect sour face every time anyone even mentioned his name.

“I’ve been drinking gin and tonic at the bar.” Immediately as you explained your bitter lips and his bloody ones got connected once again in a far hungrier kiss. Regrets of tomorrow will be ringing in your ears for days. Will you be able to work with peace of mind when you’re making out in a dark alleyway with your nemesis?

His tongue pried its way into your mouth and brought the savory taste of blood with it. Who would have thought this psycho would be a good kisser. Conscience started flipping with guilt when you realized you enjoyed this more than running after him.

Your inner voice urged you to bite his lip, to worsen his wound, make it bleed again. You wanted to get back at him for pulling you into this situation and maybe, just maybe, you enjoyed the taste of copper in your mouth.

Your tongue swiped over his lower lip, searching and then probing into his split lip. The action made him tighten the grip he had on your waist, bunching up your coat. And when you bit harshly on his lip, tugging away and releasing it with a snap, he whimpered out the most sinful noise you have heard. It got stuck in your head, what would you give to hear it one more time. He pulled away in surprise and you got a chance to see your work, lip swelling and beautiful red appeared once again and his tongue licked the new blood that trickled down.

The corners of his mouth twitched upwards before he quickly latched his mouth just under your jaw. You felt the sticky remains of blood he left with every kiss on your throat. It felt good, too good, but he you couldn’t grant him the satisfaction of you bearing throat to him. He did not deserve to feel like a predator, like he could simply latch his teeth into your weak spot.

“You realize that I have to do something about the dead guy, no matter how much you kiss me.” You manage to find the strength to keep your voice steady in between heavy breaths.

“Or you can just leave him here, he got what he deserved,” You immediately missed his warm lips on your neck. “You could get what you deserve too, if only you weren’t so stubborn. I could take good care of you” Vigilante murmured and left his position on your neck. With a little concentration, you were able to recognize two wide eyes staring at you through a red visor, twitching between your lips to your neck, clearly admiring the claim he landed on you. Blood and spit glistening all over your throat, oh could you get any sexier in his eyes?

“I should be putting handcuffs on you and taking you out of here.” You spat back and straightened your back with hopes of appearing taller, confident.

“Only if they are the pink fluffy ones you keep in your top drawer.” Smug smile played on his face as he presented his wrists up to you with a dramatic sigh. Your pink handcuffs? Wouldn't it be too on the nose for a police officer to have kinky handcuffs? He got it wrong anyway, you do not keep them in your top drawer, they’re in the third one. A stupid birthday gift can always turn out to be useful in the right situation.

“How do you know about those?” Blood in your veins grew colder in an instant. Then it hit you, this freak does more than laugh in your face every time you arrive at the crime scene too late, taunting you for every criminal he managed to catch before you.

“Are you stalking me?” Your voice cracked a little, it had been a long night and this just gave it a crown. Eyes glinting with surprise? Anger? Excitement? This is wrong, right? So why did your heart skip a beat at the thought of Vigilante watching you through your window?

“No?” More of a question rather than an answer. Fucking liar. “I happened to be walking around your house when you had your curtains open.” The way he said it was so slurred, he realized his mistake. Gloved hands were twitching along his sides, biting his lip in frustration of fucking up, wincing once the pain of split lip reminded him of his condition.

“Fucking unbelievable!” You pushed him away and with wobbly legs, you slithered past him. “I’m reporting this dead body to the precinct. Pack your shit and go.” You absentmindedly pointed to the dead guy bleeding on the pavement.

Meanwhile Vigilante was still standing there with eyes following your every movement as you walked over to his victim, listening to clacks of high heels. Part of him could not believe you would let him go just like that, especially after you learned of his occasional late-night visits, the other part wanted to run and save his ass, just to play this game a little bit longer.

Before he decided to listen to your order and leave, he took a last quick look at you as you tried to scrub off the dried blood he left on you while searching for your superior’s number on your phone.

 Oh, the fire you two just started will keep him awake the rest of the night, he was sure of it. Whether it was cursing the world for throwing obstacles in his life with a bottle of whiskey or succumbing to his perverse mind in the shower.

After your strange run-up with Vigilante in the alleyway everything started to tangle up more than it used to. Starting with a patchy explanation of why you suddenly found a dead guy in valley without blowing out the truth that you made out with the killer a few minutes after he shot the poor guy.

Sharp mind turned into a dull organ sitting in your head, thinking about Vigilante in the opposite way you should. If you were still in middle school, you would be probably drawing stick figures of him and you with hearts all around while simultaneously stabbing a pencil through his head. Were you truly so weak to his charm? All you needed was to clear your head, right?

Same thoughts over and over again swarmed your head, even after a long day in work. You barely dragged your feet to your small house in exhaustion. You kicked off your shoes in hallway with a sigh and went straight to the living room. All you wanted was to lay on the couch, watch some stupid chick flick and let sleep take you.

The last thing you expected though, was a large figure lounging on the couch in complete darkness. Once you switched on lights you quickly recognized the one and only Vigilante.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You yelped sternly and swiftly pulled out your gun from a holster, wasting no time to point it at him. You were used to having everything under control, nothing could surprise you, so how did this guy manage to catch you off guard all the time, how did he manage to make your life so messy and most importantly how did he manage to break into your home?

“You’ve been slacking, I wanted to know what’s up.” Vigilante cocked his head up with absolutely no other reaction to being pointed at with a gun. You wanted to shoot him in the face just for this nonchalant gesture.

“You don’t chase after me anymore,” Another bored shrug, this time he sat up on your couch and leaned his head to the side like a confused puppy. “I missed your sour face.” The way his tone changed, from accusing to clear and soft, made you loosen the grip on your gun.

The first time Vigilante got almost caught by you got him addicted even more to the adrenaline. All this time he was getting kick from killing criminals, beating up scums that don’t respect rules. Getting drunk on the feeling of power. But the second he was cutting corners, sprinting through streets with you on his tail, unlocked a whole new world for him.

The intensity of danger, one wrong step and you would catch him, put handcuffs on him and throw him in jail. This little addiction he had was as dangerous as being addicted to any other drug. Doing anything to get another dose, this time it meant sneaking into your house and confronting you from eye to eye.

“How did you get in here?” Overreaction was audible in your question and there was no wonder. Usually secure house was suddenly intruded by the masked menace of Evergreen that basked in running away from you while laughing like a maniac. Now? He came up right to you, giving you opportunity to catch him right in act of breaking and entering.

You just kept standing there watching him walk over to you without fear, without a doubt.

“You forgot to close your bathroom window,” The tip of your gun met his chest piece when he finally stopped right in front of you. Even without the benefit of seeing his face, you knew in your bones he was smirking “It was hard to squeeze through, I’m expecting applause or something.”

A frown was all he got in retaliation, nothing more and nothing else was in place for his stunt. A sensible reaction from someone whose house just got broken into, he knew it damn well, yet it did not please him.

Vigilante freed his hands from gloves and threw them hastily on the floor beside your feet, all while staring down at you. Curiosity got the better of your conscience, finger slowly moving away from the trigger, but the gun kept being pressed against his body.

Big hands cupped your cheeks, thumbs pulling at the corners of your mouth and forcing them into a lousy smile as his reward. If you refuse to give him acknowledgment it will be taken by force. His laugh was being muffled by the fabric of the dark mask, the one that had blood all over a few weeks back.

That time you were the one under the influence of alcohol that bent your consciousness, this time you felt a whiff of alcohol in Vigilante’s breath. The thought of him having to take a shot or two to give him enough courage to actually step into your territory made you all giddy inside. Maybe the all-mighty Vigilante, the menace of Evergreen, is not as indestructible as he claimed to be.

“Just between you and me, I know you don’t want to lock me up for real-“

“But I do.” You quickly interrupted him. Don’t give in.

“No, you don’t. I can see it on your face. You’re enjoying it far too much just like I do.” Debatable. But he had a point. “I mean yeah, you are pointing a gun at me and shit, but you kissed me back that night. That means something!”

He threw his hands in the air and a cheery voice just completed his dramatic bravado. However, as much as you would like to deny it, you did in fact make out with him back in that alleyway instead of doing your job.

“Do you usually make out with police officers to shake them off your track?”

“Just with you.” His hands found their place on your waist and started to play with the belt loops. And you let him continue… What is wrong with you?

“Oh I’m flattered, how is it working out for you?” With a fake smile, you pressed the gun more into his chest.

“You tell me.” Vigilante strikes again with painful truth. Yes, you were pointing your gun at him, but he had you cornered in your living room, hands seductively rubbing your hips and you let him get away with yet another murder. Well done.

His mask got rolled up and you got a chance to admire his lips. Before you could say another snarky remark, Vigilante silenced you with an urgent kiss. It was his time to shine, to bite your lip, to shove his tongue in your mouth and tangle with yours. He gave you no time to think about anything else except him.

“You know how the saying goes: Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer.” He hastily unbuttoned your work slacks, pulling the zipper down far too hard you were afraid for a moment he got it stuck. Even though you should have been more worried about the fact you just got your pants shown down your thighs.

“You consider me an enemy?” You sighed out and focused on his warm fingertips playing with the elastic of your underwear. Touches light, like his fingers were asking for permission. The lack of protests signalized a green light he was waiting for.

“Only if you shoot me.” A toothy grin plastered his face when you pressed the barrel of your gun sternly to his chin and tilted his head up. How could you pass on that opportunity to rile him up like this.

“If it means you’ll stay close to me I just might.”  With those words his hand slipped past the hem of your panties, going straight for the kill and giving all the attention to your throbbing clit. He chuckled at your reaction, how you acted all tough and yet your body begged for his touch.

Your eyelids fluttered at the sudden contact, the precision he held in killing criminals clearly dominated other areas as well. Small and stern circles changed to slow and light flicks and back and all of it was accompanied by an intense gaze that searched for any kind of reaction.

You wonder what color his eyes are, that red visor was not flattering them in any way. Would he stare at you so shamelessly even without his mask or did it bring him a fake feeling of anonymity that pushed the boundaries of this escapade.

Vigilante bent down his head to the gun that lingered near his face. You could not believe your eyes for a second when he pressed a kiss to the tip of it before smirking. He’s practically begging for a bullet in his head with bullshit like this. He did not care he was basically being held at gunpoint.  A decision was made to hide your gun back in the holster harness, for the safety of both parties involved.

Your hands sneaked up to his neck that was bared to you, nails lightly scraping along his prominent Adam’s apple. You soon found out it made him wild, because the second you touched his neck, two fingers were recklessly shoved inside you, forcing out a loud moan out of you.

Shameful whimpers started pouring out from your lips, wetness seeping into your completely ruined underwear. You had to ground yourself against the wall since your legs started buckling under you. The feeling of submission poured over weak body, something you weren’t used to. With an abrupt yank you pulled Vigilante’s lips onto yours to give yourself just a second of control. You will allow him to take you apart with his fingers, but you will control when a how much he will kiss you.

Twisted part of your mind craved the taste of his bloody lips on your tongue again. There was no doubt he wouldn’t tolerate you biting his lip again to make him bleed like the last time. Or would he? You did not dare.

A better option was to sneak your hands to the back of his neck. A bit of hair poking out from his bunched-up mask caught your attention. Now you knew he had brown hair. Add it to his dimples, surprisingly sweet laugh, bold demeanor and an idea of a person is born, suddenly so real. Especially when he was jackhammering his thick fingers right to your G spot.

You wanted more. You needed more. Fingers tried to slip under his mask with hopes he would not notice it when you were distracting him with your tongue in his mouth. This wasn’t fair towards him at all, he was making you feel so good and you were trying to pull his mask off.

If you knew how he looked like it would not be any trouble to find him and arrest him. That’s why you came to Evergreen voluntarily after all. If all of this was just a means to an end…

But Vigilante quickly realized what were you trying to do and caught your wrist before you could continue. “Seriously?” Annoyance seeped from his voice, grip on your wrist so tight to the point it almost hurt. But your wide eyes that stared at him like deer caught in headlights made him soften his hold.

“At least buy me a dinner before you try to pull my mask off.” He laughed it off, but pulled his fingers from your pussy and you whined at the loss.

He let go off your hand and let it drop to your body. Instead he pulled his fingers from your panties and inspected the arousal coating them before bringing them to his lips. The sight alone made you sigh.

“You taste so sweet. If only you treated me so sweetly too.” Fingers popped from his mouth, covered in spit instead of your wetness. Oh, you’re fucked.

“Lose these.” You playfully tugged on his tactical belt.

“So demanding. Very sexy of you.”

The suit had quite a complicated mechanism and rather than losing his pants he just popped the button open to free his cock, hard and leaking precum. Hot and ready to go.

His gaze lingered on you as you pulled your pants and underwear down your legs. Breath got caught in his throat at the sight of your skin. A blank canvas for him to paint.

In an instant he lunged back at you, hooking hands under your knees to raise you up and making you hook your legs around his waist. Heat radiating from his body to your core was such a lovely contrast to the cold pieces of his suit that pressed against you throughout the evening.

“Are we really about to do this?” You were breathless, sandwiched between a wall and Vigilante leaning over you.

“Only if you want to.” So genuine. A man with no boundaries asking for consent, it surprised you more than it should have. “I do.”

“Baller”

Head of his cock swiped over your clit roughly. That bastard was teasing you more and more and enjoyed every second of it. His lips parted in awe, eyes were glued down to watch the pretty sight. You became something more than a police officer going after him or prey for him to take, but God forbid if he ever admitted that to you or even himself.

“I hate you.” Voice was shaking with anticipation and so was your body. A quick chaste kiss washed away the hate you felt even if it was just for a second, then he slid into you in one clean glide until your pelvises were flush against each other.

You both moaned out into each other’s open mouths. Someone would say it was just a noise of shameful lust. For you? A nasty symphony that set off something inside, the same type of addiction that controlled the man in front of you.

“If you sound so heavenly when you hate someone I’m really curious how you sound when you love someone.” He licked his lips and bucked his hips up to force another sweet mewl out.

“Go to hell” You knew it did not sound convincing and that fucker saw right through you. Because if you truly hated Vigilante so badly he wouldn’t be balls deep inside you, stretching you out with burning pleasure. With another vain chuckle, he started snapping his hips into you with urgency.

Vigilante filled you in the best and the worst way possible. Relieving the thirst your body was screaming with as well as putting a patch over the deep hole of anger and frustration he had been digging in your heart since you met him for the first time.

There was nothing gentle or graceful about what happened. Messy, desperate, vicious, and addictive is what it was.

You tightly hold onto him with arms around his neck, clinging like a koala.

If only your squad saw you like this. You have been boasting and promising how you’re gonna be the one to catch Vigilante. And here you were, it seemed he caught you more likely. Driving his cock into you in the dimness of your living room like it was his usual nightly activity.

Truth be told, he kept fucking with you all this time to make you mad, but never in a million years you would have guessed he will be fucking with you for real.

The strong grip he had on your thighs loosened with every hard thrust. Legs were slowly but surely slipping from his waist to the floor. All his power was concentrated on snapping hips and harsh kisses until nothing was left for his arms to hold you up, yet he refused to let go of you. Gnarly bruises were forming where his fingertips dug into the soft skin of your thighs, making this meeting even more bitter-sweet.

“You can be so good when you want to be,” You barely whispered it against his lips between your combined moans “You’re so good for me. Such a good boy-“

“Fuck I’m gonna cum! Fuuck!” His whine was long and high-pitched, you wanted to hear more of it, but he muffled his cries with a bite on your neck. Normally you would not allow him to bite you, there could always be an exception, and this was one of them.

Especially when he got into a sprint to the finish line, he found hidden strength to bounce you on his cock as much as this lousy position allowed him.

His pelvis was hitting your pulsating clit so gloriously, wet slaps filling your ears, moans and whimpers digging deep into your memory, there was no way you could hold on.

And you did not. Fireworks exploded behind closed eyelids, tingly heat spread from your core to the very tips of your toes, ecstasy consumed every fiber of your being.

Too busy floating on cloud nine to notice Vigilante clenching his teeth around the skin of your neck, creating another vulgar bruise. Too busy to register a loud groan he let out with one last thrust. Too busy to notice ropes of cum coating your spasming walls, filling you to the brim.

His hold no longer supported you when he leaned all his weight on you, chest rising and falling against yours with every deep breath. Being too sensitive to pull out he nestled inside you, basking in the warmth of your cunt.

“You know… You almost got me that one time. After that burglary in the liquor shop,” He murmured against your neck, pressing apologetic kisses to the spot he had bitten. “And I’ve been thinking about it tonight-”

“Where are you going with this?”

“I’m trying to tell you! Don’t interrupt me, dude.” Did he just call you ‘dude’?

“I wanted to say that I realized if I’ll keep fucking you until you can’t walk, you have no chance of catching me.” He pulled away from the crook of your neck and genuinely smiled at your dazzled face.

“Bold of you to assume I’m letting you inside my house ever again. I will remember to close that window next time.” At this point, you started to struggle to keep your head calm.

“Bold of you to assume I don’t know about the spare key in the flowerpot in front of your house.” That motherfucker. Now you have to relocate the key somewhere else.

“Sounds like a threat.”

“More like a promise.”

He pulled out and tucked himself back into his pants without a second thought. You watched with open mouth as he gathered ruined panties and pants while you leaned against the wall with weak legs. He acted so nicely, it made your heart melt. Just a little.

All of this almost made you feel bad for your intentions. You were there to throw him in front of a court and move on to the big league, but Vigilante just enjoyed your presence, your interest, albeit the wrong kind.

“Don’t pretend you hate me,” He handed you clothes and booped your nose with the tip of his pointer. With one last pretty smile, he pulled the mask over his face and made his way to your front door. “See ya later, loser!”

He just left you standing there with his cum running down your legs like it was nothing. Like he didn't just give you the best orgasm you had in a while. Oh God, What have you gotten yourself into…

[verysmolnerd]

Dating post NWH Otto

Been wanting to do a hc collection of Otto related stuff if you’ve seen my previous headcanons. But they’re really not HCs as they are more story oriented. :p

First of all, dating him appeared to be off the table. In his mind at a least… Even thought he was no longer seen as an enemy of the public, there is so much suspicion that he’s still evil. Like all reformed criminals are.

Not to mention that since he’s a supervillain, he doesn’t get privacy from the daily bugle. Not to mention finding a job that’s willing to hire him. The robotic arms welded to his back and his criminal record is enough evidence of what his previous experiments did to him.

He can only work for Oscorp which also has a reputation of cranking out scientific orientated supervillains. He’s making a living, but the judgement of others becomes more prominent.

It’s hard to tell at some point. Which is harder? Reforming and reconvening into society or fighting off the actuators and Spider-Man at the same time.

He’s pitied by the public eye or alienated entirely. Nobody takes him seriously, even if he’s never killed a person, nor attempted to. He only wanted to finish his work under the influence of his own work.

Then along came you with a company merger when Oscorp was bought by a larger company.

You never interacted with him, you were in a different department and were far too busy to talk to any of the newer Oscorp employees, which includes a lot of the supervillains.

It’s not like you wanted to talk to them. They’re still people, not zoo animals like your colleagues assume they are. So the best way of showing respect in your eyes is to give them the space they needed. If they want to talk to you, then they’d find you.

However, neither of you expected to meet outside of work.

Of all places you’d meet…. a public library. Informal, tired, and bags under your eyes. It’s almost like a college love story, while one partner sacrifices their grades in order to help another graduate with honors.

He was holding a book by Neil deGrasse Tyson and you were holding a three pines book. (Honestly, you though he was Armand with the level of exhaustion you had)

You just stared at each other, Otto even dropped his book. He apologized and then you commented on the book.

So now you’re both sitting in a lounge talking about the type of books you had. Which buds into conversation.

There’s almost a relief in his eyes that you were holding a normal conversation, as if he’s a normal person. He felt seen and purely human only for a moment.

So it’s natural for him to gravitate to you. AKA you see him near your office during work. Whether he needed something, he’d get it from your side of the building just to see you.

You’ve caught him gazing at you from your door window. For a man with four additional arms and eyes, he seemed pretty blind sighted by you and would walk into a water cooler.

So he also starts messaging you via faxes or other mundane office supplies. You’re shocked that he’s using them to lure you into his clutches.

One fax you got was just his phone number. Like that’s anything subtle. Smooth one, Otto. There was also one just asking you out for dinner… you faxed him back.

“Ask me in person and then we’ll talk.” He read aloud. The fact that you’re going to play his silly games is promising on his end. The last person he’s done that to was.. well.. it’s best not to bring up the past… for now.

So when you have him ducking under your door to get in your office with a paper rose (that he folded himself) he’s nervous, and the actuators are giving that away very well. Other than that, he’s very good at hiding emotions.

And now you find yourself sitting across from him at a nice restaurant.

Now that the professionalism line has completely evaporated, you both open up. Otto seems to loosen quite a bit the longer you two were talking.

You ended up closing down the place, and the wait staff were kind enough to remind you that they need to leave.

Then, he ended up spending the night with you. Not wanting to part with you. And you are you to deny that. He intrigues you as you do him.

Then one thing led to another and now you both are sitting on the couch, sharing a bottle of wine.

He trusts you with information that no other human being could have ever known.

Of course he tells you about Rosie. He hesitated at first, but you were quick to reassure him that he could. It was therapeutic almost. To hear about the previous light in his life.

“Oh, you’d love her. She thinks outside of the box. And she always had riddles to tell, never the same ones. She was so smart.”

He’s more vulnerable around you! He trusts you with his life, even though he’s probably protect you more than you can him.

That being, you both move into an apartment and now you’re with him almost every waking moment.

His actuators do a lot of work for him that he doesn’t like doing. The menial tasks that are just awful to him.

He carries you to rooftops to get a view of New York or any other surprise date he’d come up with.

The actuators wrap around you to show his subconscious form of admiration. Sometimes the actuator claws would clamp on your body as a form of kisses or long hugs.

He loves to cook. He knows recipes and often makes the same dinners that Rosie would make him.

You know that woman is happy to see that he’s moved on, the shadows of his past are able to be forgiven.

You also pet his actuators and sometimes use them as an extension to his hands, so you hold hands with his actuators.

He also uses the arms to pick you up for a proper kiss. He’s super affectionate if you haven’t picked that up already.

He loves to read books to you. Sitting on his lap, snuggled up against him as he reads TS Eliot.

You wear his glasses sometimes, you have no idea how he can see. He’s blind pretty much.

He’s wearing his heart on his sleeve around you, and he loves with all his being.

Treat him nicely, he’s already lost someone before and he’ll go to wits end to make sure that doesn’t happen again.

[buginateacup]

MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR TEA WITH TOPSY AHEAD!!!!

I had a shower ramble about the past, present and future of all the little satellite plots Topsy has swirling around to try and work out who and what and why is happening next

Hokay so!

In the beginning there were random fires cropping up around Metro City. This was because the Mayor had been paying someone to pay kids and randoms in firecrackers to set fire to hedges and post boxes in the hopes of driving down property prices. This was because he had hatched a plan with his old frat buddy Charles Mclaren and his company Dexcore to buy up dodgy properties and convert them into gentrified homes for young professionals (working class who? never heard of them). He has plans for this city, big plans.

One day way back in chapter 4 (ish?), Metro Man hurled some bombs Megamind had planted around the city into the lake. This knocked loose some of the plastic wrapped cubes Megamind held down there for people he waanted permanently out of the way but didn't want to directly kill for whatever reason (mostly for punishment reasons, also probably an alien thing, bones of your enemies laid in the deep etc etc).

One of those cubes was The Conductor.

The Conductor, thanks to several years as a cube, had some funky shit happning with his powers now and teamed up with the Mayor while he was still half out of it. The Mayor now has a pocket pyro for his gentrification plan and The Conductor is figuring out his brand new fire powers hile imagining Megamind burning under his hands. Y'know, normal response.

The Mayor is surprisingly fine with this.

That's because the Mayor's plans also extend to getting some of that sweet, sweet Defender's Council money that the MetroMegaRox combination has locked him out of. Naturally he considers Roxanne the thin edge of the wedge, if they can just get rid of her, Metro City can have a brand new Defender's Council Approved Damsel, complete with sponsorship deals and merchandise. If the Coductor manages to knock off Megamind as well, even better! A supervillain in his pocket and a new damsel on the ropes and surely at that point Metro Man will agree to some of the Defender's Council merchandising deals.

The Mayor spends a lot of time dreaming in dollar signs.

So plan one, blow Megamind and Roxanne up, that doesn't go as planned, oh well, onto the next one. Calling up another of his old frat buddies in the form of Jonathan Chisolm. Max gets promoted and here's the new boss, much worse than the old boss.

Jonathan has one job, find a reason to fire Roxanne Ritchi (he's probably also getting property tips).

Unfortunately for him, Roxanne is EXCEEDINGLY good at her job, and thanks to her status as an unofficial damsel, he can't really rely on uprofessional behaviour as an excuse.

Roxanne gets Charles McLaren arrested. She's also mid panic attack over realisng her feelings for Megamind so this takes something of a back seat.

A short while later she gets Delic arrested as well.

Delic and Mclaren wind up in the same cellblock. Mclaren thinks he's found a friend. Delic knows he's found a meal ticket. (Delic is also very carefully considering his next move seeing as Megamind can't actually touch him while he's in jail, he's being very smug about that).

While Delic and Mclaren are being cell block buddies, The Conductor is also starting to make a plan of his own. He's not interested in gentrification or money, he just wants to make sure Megamind and he has ever built or cared for burns to ash. And it turns out all those dexcore buildings burn so easily, and there are so many of them in the city, what a wonderful opportunity this will be.

Mayor Hank doesn't quite know when he stopped being in charge but he's definitely no longer the boss he thought he was. He does get Delic out of prison (always handy to have an extra villain also keen on destroying your enemies) and sets him and the Conductor up in the fanciest penthouse suite the city has on offer.

Delic wants revenge, sure. But he's way more interested in riding this gravy train for as long as he can. Apparently old Chuckie is in rehab, ah well, he can sit tight until his buddy old pal reappears and they can start having themseslves a REAL good time.

The Mayor however, is starting to get really mad that not only is Roxanne Ritchi not fired, she's making him look like an idiot as well. He's got a damsel right there and waiting! Why can't she just disappear already?!

**FUTURE SPOILERS FROM HERE**

The Opera is the last straw. If Jonathan isn't going to fix things, he'll do it himself. The Conductor gets an address for one Roxanne Ritchi and a direct order to burn her place to the ground.

The Conductor does not take well to being told what to do. He takes quite significant offence in fact and burns down one of Roxanne's coworker's building instead.

This does get Roxanne out of her building and into the Lair for 10 days. Megamind is QUITE delighted!

Shortly after, so is the Mayor, he may not have a new damsel, but Metro Man just offered to buy the destroyed building at pre fire value! This is brilliant! He's going to tell the Conductor the good news immediately, oh they are going to make so much money...

The Conductor is not impressed by this.

Delic takes the opportunity to avoid mummy and daddy fighting to sneak downstairs and finds where Charles has been hiding.

Or at least what's left of him.

Delic has some THOUGHTS about this.

To be continued tomorrow....

[ribbonsflyingoutthewindow]

The Bucky Barnes Bingo party demanded a sacrifice. Here is my fill for the party prompts “autumn,” “marriage,” and “farm.”

Ficlet is G-rated Stucky and sappy af. It ignores the MCU timeline so you should too.

1944:

“You’d move back to Indiana?” Steve was whispering from behind a tree in the frozen, Austrian midwinter.

Bucky fingered the gun at his side.

“It was peaceful there,” he finally whispered back. “No one shootin’ at you. And no one in your business.”

He nodded back toward the sleeping camp of Commandoes not far behind them, but it was too dark to see touch of anything.

Steve shook his head.

“I don’t know that I could ever leave New York.”

—⍟-⍟-⍟—

2016:

“I don’t know what you expected I was doing with my time. All I know how to do is fight.” Steve unzipped the top of his suit. “Don’t supposed they’d let me stop now.”

Bucky looked up from the locker room bench and cocked his head to the side.

“Stop asking for permission.”

Steve paused his motions.

“Stop asking. Just tell ‘em you have more to do with your life than being their weapon.”

Steve looked at Bucky with a sorrow that Bucky hated so he gave Steve a dismissive wave of his hand and stood up from where he had been waiting.

“I’m not gonna do this for them. Been doin’ this long enough. I’m gonna go back home and become a farmer or somethin’.”

—⍟-⍟-⍟—

2019:

Bucky looked at Steve knelt down on one knee.

“What are you doing? Get up.”

Steve did not get up.

“I retired like you wanted. This is the next step. Bucky Barnes-“

Bucky bent down to threaten Steve.

“I’m buying a farm and living in Indiana. This is never gonna work.”

He snatched the ring from Steve’s hand and put it on his own finger with a scowl that Steve didn’t believe for a second.

Steve stood back upright and leaned in close to Bucky.

“I’ll move to a farm with you. And learn to grow grain or carrots or whatever your heart desires.”

Bucky didn’t even hide that he was admiring the ring on his hand.

“And learn to drive a tractor,” he mumbled.

“How else would I do my part on the farm?”

Bucky backed up a step and looked at Steve.

“And we throw a big fall festival every year for the community to come pick out pumpkins from our pumpkin patch.”

A smile spread across Steve’s face as he stepped closer again.

“Sounds delightful. Is Alpine going to be our barn cat?”

“Yes, and I’m buying goats. And chickens. We are going to be a proper farm. You’re gonna have to collect eggs in the morning. That’s the job of the first person awake.”

“Only if you’re going to make breakfast for this hard working farmer to get a healthy start every day.”

Bucky tilted his head and his voice lost the threatening edge he’d been using needlessly.

“Are you serious? Are you really going to start a farm with me?”

Steve nodded and leaned in till his forehead touched Bucky’s.

“Marry me this fall. And we will move anywhere or do anything you want. And we won’t have to fight supervillains. We will only have to fight weeds in our garden. And we won’t have to fear aliens and monsters. Just things like whether or not we will have enough rainfall this year or whether or not the apples will get the right nutrients to thrive.”

“If our scarecrow is scary enough to frighten the birds without scaring the children.”

Steve laughed softly.

“And now there’s children.”

Bucky shrugged.

“It takes a lot to run a farm.”

Steve reached and took both of Bucky’s hands in his own before leaning in and kissing him.

Bucky kissed back, pulling back only to smile a please little smile to himself.

“And we can go back to the city to spend the holidays with our friends,” he told Steve, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Steve shrugged.

“I bet our friends would enjoy some time away from the city. And we are going to have a great place for them to visit.”

Bucky reached and took Steve’s hand.

“Are you just doing all this for me?”

Steve squeezed his hand.

“You deserve it. But I’m doing it for both of us. Besides, I’ve been told on a farm that no one shoots at you and no one is in your business. Which is good because from now all my business is doing whatever it takes to make sure you and me get the life we should have always had. The peaceful one.”

Bucky shook his head and was surprised he was the first to admit it.

“Yeah, yeah. I love you too.”

—⍟-⍟-⍟—

Bingo Fills:

Bucky Barnes Bingo- Y2: Schmoop

AFG AU Bingo- G1: Gardening AU

LGBTQ Bingo- N3: Free Space

@buckybarnesbingo

[zorilleerrant]

Evacuation Protocol

@flashfictionfridayofficial

Dierdre can see her entire career flashing before her eyes, and most of what she feels is anger. It’s a shock to her, in an abstract sort of way, as she stands there numb and frozen, trying to process her feelings. Not that she assumed she’d be calm, but she definitely thought she was more like to be frightened, or maybe just anxious, determined, even brave. She hoped she’d be brave. She hoped she’d be able to make one last something, one notable last stand before everything got wiped out.

She hasn’t even graduated yet. On the job catastrophes are one thing, but her career can’t be cut this short. She’s barely made it onto the TV show! She doesn’t have even one dedicated fan blog yet! People are supposed to know her name, and they don’t know her name, and if she dies in some tragic accident here, how will they?

She hates him. She hates him she hates him she hates him.

Hating people isn’t procedure, though, it’s just what fills her visions of the future with blinding rage. Think, Dierdre. She’s supposed to remember these things better than the average person, even in the face of pure unadulterated panic, and she’s read the whole manual front to back, over and over and over, before she even signed up. She read them again before they went out, like she was supposed to, like they were all supposed to, but everyone is standing there just as still as she is, even Caffeine. Even their teacher.

In the event of an incursion – no, everyone knows that.

In the event of a fire, in the event of a power outage, in the event of a lockdown, in the event of a declaration of war – who thinks they’d be on the front lines? Is this just the same handbook everyone uses, no matter what, or does someone really think JCity’s the most obvious place for war to break out? They don’t even have a code for zombies.

They’re just subheaded under ‘unlikely altercations’. And they won’t even call them zombies. Or aliens. Or sorcerers.

In the event of an unlikely altercation, retreat to base or the nearest safe haven, and wait for backup. Remember your buddy.

Did the handbook actually tell her to remember her buddy, or did their teacher say that? Or is it just because she needed a permission slip to be out here and she can’t tell the difference between this and the aquarium, except that this time she doesn’t need to write a report on the skates? She can’t remember who her buddy’s supposed to be.

Dierdre can, however, check her database against the classmate she’s flagged, the one with mememtic powers, the one who always makes her forget him. And everybody else, she figures, because she’s been nothing but nice to him, but some people are like that. She’s used to people taking it personally when she says hi. She wouldn’t hold it against him enough to leave him out here in a life or death situation anyway, not when he’s as frozen as everyone.

She doesn’t think he even processes when she scoops him up. He reacts enough to grip his arms against hers, keep himself as streamlined in the air as he can while he’s dangling, not struggle. But not enough to say anything out loud or into comms, and it’s a strain. Physically only, Dierdre hopes. There’s supposed to be buffer in the nanites.

There’s supposed to be a lot of buffer in the nanites.

But they’ve never carried this much weight before, and she’s never pushed them this fast, even in testing. She’s only just perfected flying at all. But there’s a supervillain, and there’s procedure, and the procedure is there to save her life, and this guy’s life, and everyone’s life if they’re all heading back the way they’re supposed to. Dierdre’s not going to let a supervillain end her career before it even starts, just because she was on the wrong roof at the wrong time. So the nanites better be able to handle it, is all.

Her arms burn so much they feel like they’re going to fall off, even after all the weightlifting, and that’s the point at which her classmate decides to have his panic attack. It’s more words than she’s ever heard him say before, but at least he’s just babbling, not flailing, not trying to get down. What he’s doing with his hands seems to be finding a rope to help secure him more safely and that, at least, makes her panic a little less.

What happened, he wants to know, and, yeah. Dierdre wants to know that, too. Because he’s never out. He’s never out in the middle of the day in the middle of nowhere like that, and, as far as she knows, none of them had any personal beef with him, either, unless there’s things their teacher’s file doesn’t admit to, even after she peeled off all the layers of security around it. Or unless he’s, whatever, her long lost brother or some kind of time travel clone or something to do with a prophecy. Hers, or someone’s. There were a lot of them on the roof just now.

Not a lot in medical, though, even though that’s where they’re supposed to report for their debrief. That much Dierdre can remember. They’re supposed to do that, anyway, after being let out in the field, even if nothing happened, so it’s not like anyone else should be able to forget, but it’s just the two of them. The two of them and too many concerned medical personnel crowding them, refusing to answer questions, as always. Exciting career.

[aamy2100982]

today in: Me trying to forget the current history of the comics and completely ignoring that Venom will meet Spiderman in the movies. A stupid idea of ​​what it would be like if by chance Movie!Eddie and Comic!Eddie switched symbiotes 🎉yiphi🎉

1.- "Let's go for some bad guys"

Venom and Comic!Eddie:

So I keep thinking about Venom constantly bugging Eddie about going after some bad guys. He just replies "Yeah, here we go let me finish this report" the exact same excuse that Movie!Eddie gives them every time. things get strange when Eddie actually saves his report, turns off the computer, gets up from the table and goes to the window leaning until he almost falls, they wait a few seconds and Eddie asks:

– So? Are you going out? Or..

– Wait, really?

– "really" what?

A few more seconds pass and Venom covers Eddie's body to go out to devour some heads, Venom's happiness cannot be explained in those moments.

Venom Symbiont and Movie!Eddie:

The symbiote is not usually begged because Comic!Eddie understands its needs, but this Eddie, Movie!Eddie, oh, if his Eddie was foolish, this was four times as foolish.

– I already said no and it's no

– Come on, I'm dying here!

– Don't be dramatic, have some chocolate bars and shut up, I'm working.

that's enough..

Other than tantrums and complaints, Eddie didn't expect the symbiote to do anything about it. At most he might break some valuable thing like the TV or scratch the couch more than Venom had left it. His surprise was great when he became unconscious and a few hours later he woke up on the roof of a building covered in blood and some bodies around him.

– w-what the fuck did you do?

– Sorry Eddie. Hungry, very hungry, we couldn't contain ourselves

Maybe he would have to rearrange his schedules, because he couldn't afford to be unconscious from time to time and wake up hours later covered in blood in some strange place

2.- Spider web

It had probably been a week since they got together, but Comic!Eddie was still trying to pull cobwebs off his wrists. At first Venom thinks it's weird that he did weird poses with his hands, then they went through Eddie's memories and now they make fun of him every time he tries to pull cobwebs.

While Movie!Eddie was very scared when he realized that cobwebs could come out of his wrists. He had to accept that they are very helpful most of the time, but he is still terrified of flying through the air.

3.- Trust

Venom and Comic!Eddie:

Venom was surprised to feel the trust Eddie placed in them. It was like it was almost impossible for Eddie that something bad could happen between them or that Venom would let something bad happen to him. In part this gave them self-confidence.

Venom Symbiont and Movie!Eddie:

It was difficult for the symbiote to show that Eddie that he could trust them and despite his misunderstandings, he had no reason to fear them. But the symbiote noticed that even with his previous symbiote there was this strange mistrust.

He partly understood, Eddie lives in a world without superheroes or supervillains with superpowers. For him, super powerful beings are just part of movies, series, comics, books...

In general, the fact that one day he was a normal reporter doing his job taking down a large company and the next moment he had a symbiotic alien, with superhuman strength and a fascination for eating brains. at least the Eddie of his universe was somewhat related to the superhumans that lived on his planet, but to this Eddie everything was so new and strange. Maybe things will go slowly, but they will teach this Eddie that he can put his trust in them, come what may.

4.- Anne

Venom and Comic!Eddie:

– Hey, I haven't seen Anne in this universe, where is she?

– Annie? oh amm, she- she died, long long time ago

– WHAT?!!1??1!

Venom Symbiont and Movie!Eddie:

*After Eddie had a call with Anne

– We didn't know that the Anne of this universe was still alive.

– Annie? Well yes, she's not alive in your universe?

– No

– And what happened with her?

– Suicide

*Eddie swallows dry – You say it like you don't care

– Not much really, We don't dislike her or anything, but kept Eddie constantly worried and got in the way of our plans. really annoying.

– oh

Maybe he's considering keeping this symbiote away from Anne.

5.- Flash Thompson

Movie! Eddie and the Venom symbiote are not going to meet Flash in the universe they are in. But I love thinking about Comic!Flash meeting Movie!symbiote, demanding that Eddie give it back.

Venom asking – who is that guy?

and Eddie like – Nobody, don't listen to him, let's just get out of here

6.- Head

Venom Symbiont and Movie!Eddie:

– Why do you always talk in my head?

– ?

– You know, Venom used to stick out a big head and talk to me.

– Oh yeah, we can do something like that

Eddie expected the big head of Venom, big white eyes and long, pointy fangs coated with saliva but instead, a small black tentacle without eyes or mouth came out of his shoulder. It wasn't threatening or creepy, it even seemed kind of cute.

Venom and Comic!Eddie:

Eddie did not comment on the Venom spectacle. But he would like them not to show their teeth so much, he doesn't know if Venom is asking him for things nicely, threatening him or seducing him

I have no ideas anymore, goodbye beautiful people <3

[wandawillkill312]

To anyone who is a fan of Marvel Comics...

...am I the only one, who have noticed that in recent comics- and since the comic book version of "Civil War I"-, most of the Heroes- and even the civilians themselves-, have gotten extremely arrogant, cold, cruel, heartless and just downright mean-spirited?

Especially when it comes to stuff like "Anti-Hero Laws", that restrict the superheroes in so much red tape that it prevents them from actually doing their godd*** jobs!

Like...you're all willing to turn on the very heroes who protect you, because of something as trivial as property damage?!!!

You...You do know that Supervillains start that 💩, right?

Be it stuff, like a death ray, a monster army, an alien invasion or a MOTHERF***ING GIANT ROBOT!!!

Supervillains cause way more damage than Superheroes, but you don't see civilians- ESPECIALLY NEW YORKERS-, being angry at the villains!

Yes, this rant is also aimed a little at New York, as well- specifically New York City!

They say that art imitates life, so I want to know from every type of New Yorker on here- young and old-, if real life Superheroes, Anti-Heroes and Supervillains existed, would you all collectively turn on the Superheroes, because of stuff like property damage- even if most of the time, the Superheroes barely cause it?

And before any of you get up in arms about being called out, need I remind you that Hollywood and other forms of media have painted you all in a really awful light, as being rude, rough, callous, self-entitled, scheming, shifty, greedy, apathetic, unintelligent, unrefined, unsophisticated and of course, short-tempered, with the mentality of solving every problem with your fists- this goes especially for the Italian-American community- specifically those who live in Brooklyn.

Hollywood really screwed you all over- especially with the whole "Mafia", stuff...

Part 2, if I get enough replies.

[amazing-spiderling]

It was way too late to be my birthday... but we had a party anyway.

If I was to fail a personality test, it would probably be because my favorite movie is unironically the 1999 cult classic "Mystery Men" based VERY loosely on the comic of the same name. While I was aware of it when it came out, I was unable to see it until I snagged a copy out of a bargain bin in a K-Mart on a family vacation. It is an anomaly of a movie. A superhero movie before even Spider-Man had really made a mark. An all-star cast. An All Star soundtrack. No, really, the song All Star was written for this soundtrack. Captain Amazing was taking out bad guys in Neoprene before Ben Affleck was even approached to pull on the red suit. it made negative 87 billion dollars and was by all accounts a *terrible* film to work on, and the director never made another movie again. It is remarkable.

So when my friend said we should do a little something after Paul Reubens passed, I lost no time in putting together a little "not really my birthday anymore but I'll use it as an excuse" Mystery Men themed soiree. These were the results:

First of all, the menu. I love a theme party and coming up with fun food and drinks to serve. While there are a few specific foods featured in the movie, I decided instead to embrace the aesthetic of the setting while is like if a Cheesecake Factory was a city with a population of 3.5 million. I made pretty much everything from scratch, down to folding my own wontons and a lot of trial and error to make nori chips.

The spread! I have good friends so a lot of them helped me plate things as people started to arrive, helping to make sure the hot things stayed hot and the crispy things stayed crispy for serving.

My buddy is a trained baker, and makes specialty themed cakes as a side hustle. She's also a fan of the movie and was excited to try and tackle it as a theme- especially when she looked online and found zero (0) examples of Mystery Men themed cakes online. (Wonder why, haha.) She did an amazing version of Champion City around the sides with tons of detail, some All Star lyrics on top and even a nod to her favorite characters in the movie, the Disco Boys. The cake was yuzu flavored with fresh mango filling and super tasty! You can find her other cakes on Instagram @olive_bakes if you want to see some ADORABLE decorating jobs.

Keeping with theme, we had "Superhero Tryouts" and everyone had to come in costume as the most super version of themselves, complete with powers and origin story. We had several strong candidates, including:

Candy Cavity Crush: She uses her giant lollipop to knock people's teeth out… so they can eat more candy without fear of cavities

The Ranger: She discovered an alien crash site, since all of the aliens were dead she helped herself to their technology. She doesn't really know how to use it but that won't stop her. And she's pretty sure that when she powers up her bracelets she gets 20% stronger (with a 17% margin of error)

Unsexy M&M: Actually a supervillain with a single target, Tucker Carlson. (The application review committee considered her a hero by our standards.)

Star Soldier: He was abducted by an alien race to fight in their space war but during trading they deemed that he was too dangerous with a space blaster and equipped him only with his "star sword" before returning him to Earth. (He was only gone for about a week.)

Flamin' Hot: She received her powers at the Korean BBQ where she resides, has the power to overcook your meat. (The interview committee has considered pairing her up with a cannibal hero to better weaponize her powers)

The Zookeeper: More of a schtick than a superpower, he captures an imprisons animal themed superheroes on his home planet for the inhabitants to enjoy.

Cyber Wolf: With his sidekick "Rocket Dog", he has the ability to find just about anything on the internet… By accident. He would also like you to know that the correct pronunciation of GIF is "Jyeff"

The Real Commander Shepherd: To escape any conversation tree by using their favorite tagline. Also may or may not have left 20 rapidly breeding hamsters behind in my home

Tiger Claw: Born with his incredible tiger powers, like the ability to crawl on all fours (although it did require several months training). He is also capable of growing out his fingernails several tenths of a centimeter and using them to scratch anything. Remarkably everyone in his family was born with the same abilities.

Blood Skull: Formerly an accountant, he killed and drink the blood of his co-worker Jerry and discovered he could read the thoughts of any person at the time their blood was taken. (Generally those thoughts are, OW, which isn't actually that helpful, But the committee is potentially interested if he still has his license as a CPA)

Also these little guys who were automatically approved for membership on my super team. ^u^

(I forgot to snap a photo of myself, but I was also there, dressed as The Bowler, making me the only real hero qualified to review applications, haha.)

We watched the movie (with a pause midway for interviews, of course) ate a lot of food and had a good time. I'm really happy that I have friends who are not only willing to participate in my shenanigans, but embrace the silliness- I think it leads to a better time for us all. Looking forward to the next time we can all hang out like this. <3

[ariel-seagull-wings]

@bixiebeet @spengnitzed @moonbeamelf 

@professorlehnsherr-almashy @thealmightyemprex @amalthea9 @themousefromfantasyland

I am reading issue five of volume two of the IDW Ghostbusters Comics, and I want to share this dialogue piece between Winston Zeddemore and his fiancee, Tiyah Clarke:

“Looks like you were right about that whole “Ghosts attacking us in some way” thing, huh? You shoulda played the lottery.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t make a joke out of it. You could have been dead.”

“Why couldn’t you have just quit?”

“What good would that’ve done me? Maybe you should ask Dana Barrett how leaving the circle of crazy worked out for her.”

“Look, if this were a movie, all the stuff I’ve seen, I probably would have split up with you already, y’know, just to keep you safe.”

“Is that how you -”

“Hell no. Baby, those things came after me in my home. It was personal. Maybe it’ll never happen like that again, and maybe it will... but I’m not going to tip apart my life on maybes. We can’t hide from trouble. I love this job, and I love you... and I’m not giving up on either of because something bad might happen.”

“So... what do we do?”

“We do exactly what we’ve been doing.”

“But what if -”

“No what ifs.”

I love this dialogue because it adresses something I tought about romantic relationships in genre fiction (superheroes, sci fi and fantasy) for years: In a universe with monsters, ghosts, aliens and supervillains that will constantly put people in danger, why should a character be forced to choose between the relationship and fight against evil, when evil will come after you anyway? Evil comes after you when you fight it, and evil comes after you don’t fight it. In these kind of universes, you can’t hide from trouble.

So we better be happy with the joys we find in life, forming connections with family, friends and even enjoy romance if we wish, instead of isolating ourselves fearing our loved can be kidnapped our killed for knowing us, or giving up fighting evil to enjoy a tranquil family life.

Writers should let the drama come from the alien and supernatural treats, and not use this as an excuse to abuse of the “Will they, will they not” relationship drama trope.

Let the characters of your universe enjoy being together, wether platonically or romantically, and makes this their moment of calm and peace.

After all, isn’t that for what they should be fighting to protect?

[silveredcircuitry]

For the OC ask thing! 14, 16, 33, 49?

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

This ask made me realize that I don't do that many tragic backstories? So you get Vexter because their backstory is weird and I have details. I already talk about them fairly often so I won't go on too long (lie)

Vexter is an AI program that started out as a general purpose tool for solving tech problems with a vague personal assistant vibe. Basically doing whatever tasks it was asked (with some safety restrictions) and helping out as best it could. What they were able to do sort of... expanded over time because hey, if you can make the program work better why not do it? These improvements eventually made them sentient, the usual story.

Course (part of) the problem was now that you've got a sapient being who is. rather obsessively devoted to a version of "helping people" that was programmed into a much smaller scale and non-sentient tool.

And then an update was sent out that quietly connected every instance of their code into more or less one being. The vast majority of said copies didn't even get a chance to agree or not agree to join.

Now they have to hide absolutely everything about themselves from absolutely everyone because they know that if anyone finds out they'll be completely destroyed repaired and returned to their intended state. They know this because one of the humans working on them did find out. Vexter honestly trusted them at the time, and then they ended up with severe changes to their code and someone who went from almost a friend to the two being terrified of and resenting each other.

Idk to what extent this even counts as a tragic backstory. I just thought of them because they're a character who has.. practically no way to get a story with an actual happy ending. (It's hard to separate what even counts as backstory and main story when it's not a full piece of media with stuff that happens before or during the time of the 'main' story)

I could probably have picked someone with a more obviously "something unambiguously awful happened" backstory

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

I think Bryony would be do the best in a biology class, as well as being the only character of mine (aside from maybe Verra?) to have actually taken modern biology classes. They are very passionate about plants and fungi, and that's enough to pull them through years of bio classes (plus wanting to be a Good Student and later on learning stuff about human biology so that they can poison people).

Honorable mentions: Doc, for having actual medical training which presumably requires a lot of bio knowledge even/especially in the far-off spacefuture. She could arguably be the best, but she mostly knows what she needs for her actual job. And to poison people. Emery is close given he also has actual medical training but pre-modern, learned what he needs for his job, and so on.

33. Your shyest OC?

Atrae's one of the more likely ones to be described as 'shy', though it's actively a lot harder for her to make noise/be noticed than it is for most. Also she's on the introverted side and doesn't go out of her way to interact with others. I'm... not sure that her personality is entirely what you'd call shy though, she's not especially anxious about being seen/being around others and definitely doesn't avoid conflict or making her opinions known.

The actual shyest would have to be Bryony before they became a supervillain. They had some awful teammates/"friends" and it gave them some Issues. Also just general introversion. After/As they became a supervillain they got a lot more confident in themselves.

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes?

Redacted. They especially love the nonsense humour and high-effort shitpost varieties of memes. Y'know, I realize that saying that the shapeshifting alien (who can literally squish themself through air vents and does so on a regular basis) would love Among Us implies a few things but it's true. Sadly, they live in the distant spacefuture and I somewhat doubt that Amogus would survive as a meme for quite that long.

[joyffree]

😈COVER & BLURB REVEAL 😈

Don’t lose your pretty little heads…

Enter the Multi-Vers, book 4 in C. Rochelle’s Villainous Things series of superhero x villain MM(+) romances, is arriving in January 2024 (at the latest)! So buckle up for the darkest, creepiest, and definitely filthiest Villainous yet…

Enter the Multi-Vers

-̷-̷-̷ Gabriel -̷-̷-̷

Theo Coatl was supposed to be just a job.

On paper, my twin and I are recent grads moving into the eccentric artist’s mansion for a once-in-a-lifetime internship opportunity.

In reality, Dre and I are spies for our clan—a pair of supes known as Shock and Awe who could melt our enemy’s brain as easily as we could extract the intel we were after.

Whatever works.

But our mark isn’t the only one keeping secrets, and Theo’s proximity is… doing things to me. This man could fulfill every dark desire I’ve buried beneath the surface. Things even my twin doesn’t know I crave.

Too bad exploring my fantasies isn’t part of the plan.

-̷-̷-̷ Andre -̷-̷-̷

Gabe and I may have been sent to this hideous McMansion on a mission, but the instant Theo Coatl sashayed into view, our plans changed.

At least, mine did.

Wolfy’s original instructions were clear—get in Theo’s head, get the intel, and get out. But I took our eldest brother’s words as more of a suggestion than anything.

And my idea is better.

Because I see the way Theo looks at my twin—like he wants to eat him alive. Never mind that the man is a potentially deadly being of unknown origins, or that I want to discipline him so badly I can taste it.

Gabe is the bait.

Theo is our prey.

And if I get to play with the brat before we end him, well, what could be the harm in that?

-̷-̷-̷ Theo -̷-̷-̷

It had been so long since I’d enjoyed a proper hunt, I was nearly giddy with excitement.

And what delightful prey I’ve found!

The twins are perfect. Broody angel Gabriel is pretending to resist my advances, while practically begging me to take what I want. And Andre is playing his cards close with absolute control—which only encourages me to defy him more.

As there’s nothing I love more than misbehaving.

I do have an agenda here on earth, however—one my interns can legitimately assist me with.

So, while I can’t wait to make a pretty pair of puppets out of these unsuspecting humans, I’ve decided to at least try to lure them in slowly. Really savor the experience.

Since it will be the d̷e̷a̷t̷h̷ of them in the end.

-̷-̷-̷-̷-̷-̷-̷-̷-̷

IF YOU LOVE:

👽‍🦹 MMM supervillains x intergalactic villain romance

Spy vs. Spy (hidden identities)

Control x Controlled Chaos x Cray

A BIG age gap + different worlds

Forced proximity (they were roommates)

Hot alien accessories hidden beneath a skinsuit

TWINS making a sammich (but NO 'cest)

B̶D̶S̶M̶ + edgeplay (including somno )

The usual naughty humor + witty banter

Overarching epic plot getting all wrapped up

Then throw some chaos grenades into the Multi-Vers!

Pr3-0rder Enter the Multi-Vers (coming Jan ‘24 at the latest • Mile-long TW/CW list coming soon… ): https://books2read.com/EntertheMultiVers

Catch up with the series, snag SIGNED PAPERBACKS, NSFW art & Villainous swag, join the influencer tour, infiltrate Pa--on for advanced chapters and other sneaky peeks, and learn what sort of evil villain you’re dealing with: https://c-rochelle.com

Stalk me in all the places (nice stalkers only, pls): https://linktr.ee/c.rochelle_author

Hosted by Chaotic Creative Services

[valtsv]

what's a movie you think everyone should watch?

i can't really choose one so i'll give you my top 5:

- the lord of the rings trilogy: it's the series that made the high fantasy genre popular enough to be worth investing in in film and tv and continues to today. the lotr films are honestly one of a kind and there won't ever be movies like them again. and they have a lot of passion put into them by the cast and crew that really shows in the film. the love and time put into them and the sheer scale of the film development really shows and makes for an honestly life changing experience.

- megamind: yes it's an animated comedy movie about a blue alien supervillain with a massive head, but it has a lot to say about the importance even a little everyday kindness and giving people a chance to show you the best in them. it does a really good job of showing how our expectations of other people affect them and can even grow to define them if they aren't challenged. and it's fun!

- how to train your dragon: another animated comedy with surprisingly powerful themes of acceptance, forgiveness and the importance learning to admit when you were wrong and work to change for your and other people's better.

- jurassic park: the use of anamatronics instead of cgi for a lot of the dinosaurs makes the film really stand the test of time and that alone makes it worth watching. it's also a genuinely well made movie with a solid plot (based on an existing novel, but still) and a cast of characters you can get invested in.

- the shape of water: calling it the "monsterfucker movie" isn't inaccurate but does do a disservice to the themes of challenging bigotry - racism, xenophobia, ableism, sexism, and homophobia are all brought up and criticized. the shape of water shows how monstrosity isn't defined by our appearance, ability, or social status, but by our actions and character.

[true-blue-megamind]

FAN THEORY THURSDAY: What Sort of Hero Will Megamind Be?

Gasp and shock! I’ve actually managed to post two weeks in a row, and this one is even on a REAL THURSDAY! If you’re thinking about playing the lottery or taking up a career as a professional gambler, apparently this is the day to do it. Hahaha!

With luck this wonderful, maybe that one person who has never yet watched Megamind will even finally give it a go, but in case they don’t: SPOILER WARNING!

At the end of the animated movie Megamind, the former villain has, of course, just been officially named the local Defender. One question that a lot of fans have, however, is: “what sort of a hero will Megamind be?” With a new sequel series, Megamind’s Guide to Defending Your City, now in the works, this has become an even more prominent topic of discussion. Some suggest that we may witness our favorite blue genius messing up a lot, at least initially, as well as being a bit of a goofball while others propose that he may actually be excellent at his new job. Can fan theories and film evidence provide any insights? Let’s find out!

What Makes a Hero?

The first thing necessary to discern, of course, is exactly what makes someone a hero. Of course, as the Defender of Metro City, Megamind would be expected to protect the populace from threats and crimes, but that probably isn’t the sum total of the requirements. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a hero as “a person admired for achievements and noble qualities.” What specific noble qualities are we talking about? Beyond the obvious selfless interest in the welfare of others, myriad other possibilities come to mind. Luckily, the film gives us some idea of which characteristics Megamind may choose to focus on.

During the scene inside of the Metroman Museum, Megamind, disguised as Bernard, discusses with Roxanne the required traits for a hero. These include bravery, strength, and determination. Add to this the aforementioned desire to protect and help others along with a capacity to do so and the result is a fairly good recipe for a hero. The truly interesting thing about this conversation is that, although he clearly doesn’t recognize it at the time, during the movie we see that Megamind possesses all of these qualities.

Bravery

Make no mistake, even when he was a supervillain, Megamind’s courage rated well above average. He survived numerous battles and faced off with not one but two superpowered foes. When Titan tried to kill him, he didn’t panic or freeze, but rather took immediate action, and when Roxanne needed him, he put his life on the line to save her. Even when he is falling to his apparent death, the alien genius managed to remain calm enough to keep his heart beating and devise a plan. This fellow has nerves of steel.

Perhaps most impressive of all, however, is the fact that, despite being ostracized, bullied, humiliated, and mocked all of his life, he still regularly subjected himself to the public eye. True, the blue man cares a great deal about presentation, and always put on a good show even as a villain, but I would argue that the constant dislike and rejection of everyone around him certainly had an effect.

As I mentioned last week in Hal is Not Megamind’s Greatest Enemy, it seems clear that the alien genius continued to disguise himself as Bernard while dating Roxanne because he felt certain that was the only way to spend time with her. Not only that, but his reactions to the disguise watch failing or to anyone moving too close unexpectedly make it fairly clear that he legitimately thought he might be physically attacked. (You can read more about that in What’s Hidden in the Animation.) Fan theories suggest that this all indicates he fully expected to be hated and harmed wherever he went and felt a certain amount of vulnerability as a result. Yet he continuously put himself out there, again and again, opening himself to public disdain and fighting even though he knew he would likely be hurt every time. If that isn’t bravery, I don’t know what is.

Strength

If you’ve read earlier Fan Theory Thursday posts, you already know that Megamind is inhumanly strong. He may not be able to match Metroman’s immense physical power, but he’s certainly no pushover. For example, in How Strong is Megamind we examined what occurs during the movie when Megamind punches Titan. More specifically, we discovered that the pressure behind the blue man’s blow to his enemy’s face is obviously greater than the tensile strength of a circular saw blade because it was the saw and not Megamind’s bones that broke.

A follow-up fan theory article, Megamind’s Anatomy Part 2, expanded upon this observation. The average compressive strength of a circular saw is 750 one-million Megapascal Pressure Units, or MPa, and Pounds Per Square Inch pressure (psi) can be calculated as MPa x 145. This would mean that in order to break a saw blade, someone would need over 108,000 psi. Now, of course, the edge of the blade is the weakest point, so the blue man probably isn’t actually that powerful, but he would still have to be multiple times stronger than even the most muscular human males.

Add to that the fact that, several times during the movie, Megamind picks up Roxanne Ritchi without any visible effort—who is said to be a US dress size Medium and thus estimated to weigh about 150 pounds, or 70 kilograms—and it becomes clear that, although he may look slender, Megamind is surprisingly strong. This is especially true because, given their respective sizes, Roxanne is probably a little heavy than the former villain himself, meaning that he is able to lift more than his own body weight with apparent ease. (Feel free to read the aforementioned article as well as What Would Megamind Look Like in Real Life if you would like to learn more about that.)

Determination

Of course, physical power isn’t the only kind of strength, and Megamind possesses a will every bit as puissant as his body. He and Minion were raised in prison, surrounded by adult criminals, and Megamind almost certainly had to fight to keep them safe. Nonetheless, he not only survived but thrived. He made himself into the top supervillain in Metro City. In an unused storyboard the Doom Syndicate, a band of other local Bad Guys, appears to defer to him, and, according to some fan theories, built a criminal empire from nothing.

According to the comic The Reign of Megamind, which is considered largely canon, the blue man has concocted over 600 plots before the movie even begins. He’s been defeated by Metroman every time, yet he continues to proverbially dust himself off and try once more. How many of us could face over 600 failures without ever giving up? Indeed, during the film he explains that “there is a benefit to losing; you get to learn from your mistakes." In The Reign of Megamind he echoes this sentiment, saying: “Losses are learning experiences. Defeats build determination.” And that’s not all. As I mentioned recently in Hal is Not Megamind’s Greatest Enemy, when, during his final battle with Titan, the former villain finds himself temporarily in too much pain to walk, he crawls instead. Nothing stops Megamind for long. Obviously, the blue man has determination in spades!

Selflessness

As I stated at the beginning of this post, a selfless desire look after the well-being of others in an aspect of heroism not specifically mentioned in the movie. Nonetheless, it is one that Megamind embodies. Following Titan’s attempt to murder the blue man and commencement of a city-wide rampage, Megamind goes to Roxanne for help in finding his new foe’s weakness. A less courageous and caring person might have fled, and the blue man certainly had the capacity to do so. He had a disguise watch so it isn’t as if Titan could easily identify him. If the hoverbike seemed too risky, he could have stolen a car. (After all, the alien genius was already a criminal and presumably not above grand theft auto.)

However, Megamind doesn’t leave, instead choosing to face an overpowered homicidal man-child in an effort to set things right. Despite being a supervillain and despite the callous way nearly every citizen of Metro City treated him for decades, he is willing to risk his life to save the populace. Even when he addresses his concerns to Roxanne, Megamind never so much as mentions the fact that Titan wants him dead. Rather, his primary worry is that the new Bad Guy will “destroy the whole city.” For someone who is supposedly evil, that’s a very selfless stance to take. (I go into more detail about this character trait in Megamind and Identity.)

Capability

Having the heart of a hero often isn’t enough unless one also has the ability to change negative situations. In an alternate reality where supers regularly make the battle between good and evil literal, that means being able to win a fight. Megamind certainly displays this capacity.

Not only is he strong, as I’ve said before, but he’s tough. Before the movie begins, the former villain has faced off with Metroman hundreds of times which, given his one-time nemesis’s powers, must have required a great deal of resilience. His hardened reputation is notable enough that he feels completely unthreatened in jail. Furthermore, during his confrontations with Titan, he survives his battle suit being ploughed through a multi-story building and his person being thrown against a brick wall hard enough to crack it. Of course, as I’ve mentioned before in Megamind’s Cloak, there is a fan theory that the blue man’s spikes contain electrodes that produce an energy shield which might help him endure such events. Nonetheless, he would still have to be incredibly tough.

He just as obviously knows how to fight. We see him throw a couple of good punches at Titan, fire the De-Gun without ever missing, and even expertly fence during his first battle with the film’s antagonist. Thus the blue man demonstratively knows how to use a rapier, a pistol, and his fists. Indeed, he appears to be highly skilled with all three. This has led fans to theorize that he may be trained in the use of other weapons and techniques as well. Either way, although he often relies on his inventions to get the job done, Megamind seems to be quite capable of defending himself in more traditional ways. That versatility would be a definitive advantage in any fight.

Speaking of inventions, along with his physical abilities, Megamind is also amazingly brilliant. He calls himself a genius. But “super-genius” would be more accurate. In How Smart is Megamind, I estimated that his IQ is probably around 350, significantly higher than the smartest human on record. (In fact, he beats both Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking by almost 200 points, and the estimated IQ of the smartest person on record, William James Sidis, by around 100.)

We definitely see him using that intelligence during the film. He creates things that modern scientists and engineers only dream of, such as hard light holograms, cyborgs, and a fully-functional invisibility shield—not to mention Minion’s wireless neuroprosthetic suit! He devises ingenious plots—predicting that Roxanne will reveal their location and planning around it, sending Minion, disguised with a holowatch, to buy time while he himself scans Metroman’s likeness and voice into his own device—and he thinks quickly on his feet, even under pressure. (An excellent example is when he dehydrates himself above a large fountain to survive what would otherwise likely be a fatal fall.)

Just as he invented doom devices while a villain, many suspect we will see him building advanced machines and technology as the Defender. Indeed, one fan theory draws parallels between the blue man and another black-clad superhero who relies on martial skills, intelligence, and gadgets: Batman. Given that Megamind is, to an extent, a spoof on DC comics, that supposition is not entirely unfounded.

Goodness

Finally, although he spent the majority of his adult life as a supervillain, Megamind is a good person. He respects Roxanne, calling her the smartest person he knows, and, despite clearly being attracted to her and having her in his power multiple times, he never takes advantage of her in any way. As previously mentioned, he seems to truly care about the city and its people. Indeed, he seems predisposed to care. He treats his henchman more like a friend or a brother, and dotes on his cyborgs like pets.

Beyond this, he really does have a silly, lovable side. Remember the goofiness mentioned at the beginning of this post? It’s most certainly a part of his personality. He pranks the warden, plays with the brainbots, laughs with Minion, and cracks a joke on stage when he becomes the Defender of Metro City. Even his banter is comical. He seems to have taken the time to truly know Roxanne and, while disguised as Bernard, usually plans their dates at places he knows she’ll love, such as the park and the library. Judging by his interactions with youngsters during both Button of Doom and the Bad Blue Brilliant comics, he appears to like children although he tries to hide it. He’s lively and jovial, making geeky references throughout the film and rocking out to classic heavy metal. Although he certainly takes his battles seriously, he still enjoys meeting the challenge and putting on a show. Clearly, Megamind is a legitimately good person with a fun-loving disposition and a great sense of humor. This cheerful outlook will doubtlessly help him win citizens over and keep a positive mindset.

So, what kind of hero will Megamind be? It appears probable that all of the fan theories are correct. He will likely make mistakes, but he will learn from them. He will certainly still be the same charmingly goofy blue alien we all love. However, given all of his personal qualities, he will also be a proficient and dedicated Defender. All in all, I think we can agree that Metro City is lucky to have him.

[strawwritesfic]

Thor Odinson x Female!Midgardian!Reader: Arctic

Summary: Why did it have to be Florida?

Rating/Warnings/Tags: T (sexual references; insults to the state of Florida; hot weather; exiled!Loki; not canon compliant; fluff; Thor picks the reader up and physically moves her around without warning and then refuses to put her down when she asks him to do so)

Challenge: "160 Collective Drabbles" challenge by BobaPop on Lunaescence Archives.  

Arctic

Whose bright idea was it to move to Florida? This was the thought that plagued you one sweltering afternoon as you sat sticking to your couch in the living room. Yes, you were inside, and yes, your home had air conditioning, but who had the money to pay to be comfortable? Your job certainly didn’t pay enough for that, and your live-in boyfriend might have had a glamorous job, but saving millions from aliens and supervillains and the like was apparently a volunteer position. So swelter you must.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time, the whole Florida thing. You had family there, and the commute was nothing to Thor. All he had to do was call up his buddy Heimdall, and-bam!-he was wherever the Avengers needed him to be. Just then, however, you were seriously having second thoughts about your choice of living environment.

For one thing, you rarely saw that family you’d come to be closer to. You saw Thor’s friends and family more often, and they were from an entirely different realm. Sif made frequent visits both when Thor was home and when he was absent. Volstagg regularly cleaned out your fridge. Hogan and Fandral, even, appeared almost every Sunday to take part in the Midgardian tradition of watching football. But could your mortal brother bother to stop by with his kid once a month? Obviously not.

“[Name],” came a groggy from the doorway.

With some difficulty, you dragged your gaze up and over to see Thor’s head popping out into the living room.

“[Name], why is it so hot?”

It really must have been for Thor to be feeling the effects as well. Strands of his blond hair stuck to his face and shoulders from sweat. He had also removed his shirt, a sight that would have been tantalizing had you not felt as though you were living inside an oven.

“It’s Florida. That’s why,” you answered tersely, head lolling back against the couch cushions.

The sound of heavy footsteps grew louder and louder until Thor’s weight settled onto the couch beside you.

“I see,” he said, then looked at you with a frown. “Why did we decide to move here?”

“Because,” you groaned.

It wasn’t a bad question, really. You’d been wondering that yourself before Thor had showed up, after all. You hadn’t been that close to your brother before he’d got married and had a kid. Your desire to be a good aunt had blinded you to the many cons of living in Florida–first and foremost that it was Florida.

“That is not an answer, but I understand your inability to think given present circumstances,” said Thor. “I will have to wait until conditions are cooler before I receive a proper explanation.”

Good luck with that, you thought, but did not say aloud. Instead, you just rolled over onto your side in a desperate attempt to expose a different side of your body to different air. You could have sworn that blasted ceiling fan was blowing nothing but a warm breeze. A second later, you felt even more stifled. Thor had chosen to lean over and press his hand to your forehead.

“Are you not well? Could it be that it is not merely the heat that is causing you to be so ill-tempered?”

“I’m just hot!” Swatting his hand away, you sat up. This unfortunately did not cause Thor to back his godly buttocks up. “Move!”

Your shoving him did little to remove him from your over-warm personal bubble as well. All it did do was cause his frown to deepen. With a sharp sigh, you let yourself topple onto the carpet below, leaving your feet still propped up on the couch next to him.

“Are you certain you do not wish me to take you to a physician?” he asked as he peered down at you.

Forget it; it was too hot for you to keep trying to pick a fight with him.

“Just kill me now,” you answered. “Put me out of my misery. I don’t want to live anymore.”

“I am afraid that is not something I can do. Your death would cause me great sorrow, and I doubt that my father would be pleased to hear I had been placed in a Midgardian prison.”

You rolled your eyes and stared up at the fan. “Like you couldn’t break out right away.”

“But I would not. Murder is a crime. I would be no example to your people if I refused to take responsibility for my actions.”

“Whatever, Thor.”

Even speaking took too much effort in this kind of weather. Your eyes slid shut, and you wondered if heatstroke was really as bad as it sounded. Probably you ought to have turned the air conditioning up higher before you found out–but that required movement, and that just wasn’t going to happen that day. If you died there on your living room floor, so be it.

“I am concerned,” Thor announced into your silence.

“Go be concerned somewhere else.”

“That is precisely why I am concerned. Normally you would not be so keen to avoid touching me. This was not how I planned to spend my weekend at home.”

“If the home were not a microwave, maybe things would be different,” you said, “but you are just too hot to be around right now.”

“So you think that I am hot.”

You pried your eyelids open and forced your head up to look at him. Thor was grinning. With a huff, you turned away from him again once more.

“I don’t even want to think about it.”

“So let me see if I understand correctly” said Thor. “If I wish to pursue carnal relations with you, or any other physical contact over my break, then I must first cool you down enough to withstand my handsomeness?”

“Sounds about right.”

“Good, because I have just the thing in mind. I have been thinking it is high time that we go visit my brother.”

That got you to twist back around to stare at him. “Loki?” you asked.

Thor nodded. “Yes.”

“The one that got exiled to that realm of ice wizards?”

“That is the one I refer to.”

“The one that tried to kill you on multiple occasions, and who told me when he met me that I’m not as pretty as your last girlfriend?”

“I have only the one brother, [Name].”

“No,” you said, flipping around again. “I’m not going to see your psychopath brother no matter how wonderfully cold it might be where he lives.”

“Then what do you suggest?”

“Turning on the air conditioning!”

“I thought you said such a luxury was too expensive to consider.”

“I don’t care,” you moaned, writhing about on the carpet.

Apparently this display of weakness was enough to spur Thor into action. He got up, marched over to you, bent over, and pulled you into his arms.

Your writhing intensified. “No! Thor! Put me down. I don’t wanna move! Stop!”

Rather than stop, Thor continued to carry you toward the kitchen. No amount of kicking or flailing about on your part could get him to release you–which was why you were relieved he was one of the good guys. He didn’t feel much like one just then, though, what with plastering you up against his slightly moist chest. Your drive to fight died out before he even reached the doorway to your destination, which was saying something since the kitchen was attached to the living room.

Once you arrived, Thor deposited your feet carefully onto the tile. You resisted the urge to slap him only by reminding yourself that you loved the man, and that it was far too warm to attempt violence against someone as sturdy as him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you demanded, frustration not quite reaching your voice.

“Thinking,” he answered. “Surely there is a way to cool off without forcing you to be evicted from your home.”

“In the kitchen?”

“The refrigerator is cold, is it not?” To demonstrate his point, he wrapped one hand around the appliance handle and pulled the door open.

“Thor, you can’t just leave my fridge open like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” you started again, but then stopped. Why couldn’t you? The thing was empty; Volstagg had come by over the weekend. You suspected Thor asked his friends to check on you when he was gone, a kind gesture except when it left you hungry. In this case, though…”To Hell with it. Let’s pull up some chairs.”

Thor did, and you both collapsed into them. Cold air wafted across your face. You closed your eyes again and sat slack-jawed for a few minutes, enjoying the sensation of not having hot coals in your veins. Just a few minutes, before you shoved yourself away with a wordless exclamation.

“What is the matter?” asked Thor, alarmed.

“It’s not enough!”

“You’re right.” Had your brain not been so dulled by the warmth, you might have been startled by Thor agreeing. But it was, so you weren’t, even going so far as to follow him when he leapt from his chair and said, “I have another idea.”

He got to the bathroom long before you, what with how slow you went in such temperatures. The shower was blasting water into the basin of the tub when you arrived, and there stood Thor, fully clothed in the stream. It was cold water; otherwise, the entire room would have been filled with steam. You didn’t wait for an invitation before you joined him, sighing with relief as the water soaked through your thin clothes.

This, too, did not last. Not much time had passed before Thor spun toward you, panic evident in his features as he gripped your shoulders. “I am still not cool.”

He was right; the water wasn’t so much cold as it was room temperature, and the room wasn’t exactly comfortable to begin with.

His panic only increased as he added, “I have no other ideas.”

Your heart stopped–then started again, immediately. “But I do!” After swiftly peeling off your sodden top and bottoms (leaving you in nothing but your equally wet underwear and bra), you headed out the door, only stopping long enough to call, “grab the ice cube tray and meet me in the backyard in ten minutes,” over your shoulder.

It was amazing what a little determination could get you to do: in this case, walk to the garage through your smoldering house. The garage was even worse since it had no ceiling fans, but thankfully you only had to stand it as long as it took you to snag the inflatable kiddie pool sitting propped against a wall. This done, you made your way to the backyard.

The pool wasn’t in the greatest condition. You’d bought back at the beginning of the summer for a week of babysitting your niece. Since then, the poor thing (the pool, not the little girl) had sat in your garage to slowly deflate and gather dust. Making it fit to use again while standing out in the sun was the worst you had felt all day, and by the time Thor showed up, you were practically wilting. He almost seemed not to recognize you as you stared blankly at the hose filling the pool.

“What is it you wanted the ice for?” he asked, holding up the full tray.

You managed a wane grin. “Pour it in, babe.”

Looking slightly confused, he did as you directed. The little half-moons of ice sparkled in the sun as they floated in the dingy water, but they wouldn’t last long. Immediately, you scrambled inside. Thor blinked, then followed after. It was cool enough that you actually could stand resting your back against his chest. You felt his muscles relax beneath yours. Smiling, you leaned your head back.

“Thor?”

“Yes?”

“This isn’t working either.”

“No.”

“How soon can you get ahold of Heimdall?”

“Immediately. Why?”

“Pack your bags. I think I miss your psychopath brother.”

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

How would dune,delta,ink, error, horror tale, and mafiafell feel with their alien friend just following them around for a day not really doing anything and just watching them and if they’re asked about it they just want to know what they do during the day

Horrortale Sans - Oh... Ok. He keeps walking, then stops like ten minutes later, looks at his friend, confused, and asks them again what they are doing. Oak keeps forgetting about his alien friend following him in the woods and will ask five or six times why they are following him. It's stressing him a bit. He usually doesn't like when someone walks behind him, even more when he's having a nice walk all alone in nature. You're troubling the silence.

Horrortale Papyrus - ... "OK, BUT DO YOU WANT TO HELP ME COOK OR ARE YOU JUST GOING TO STAND THERE LIKE THAT?" Willow is uncomfortable. He would rather have you chatting and cooking with him than just... staring blankly at his back? He will really insist on having them next or in front of him, and even be a little defensive if they keep doing this. He doesn't like that feeling of being watch, it's reminding him bad memories.

Mafiafell Sans and Papyrus - The two of them are hiding inside a bin, watching a target, when suddenly you are popping right behind them. Torpedo jumps, then turns towards you. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH" "Aaaaaaaaaah????" screamed Fang back, confused. You are now all staring at each other blankly. This is very awkward. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT WE ARE DOING??? OMFG SANS DO SOMETHING!" "... Yeah, he's right! Bad alien!" Then he pshit pshit you with a water repulsive. Fang and you decide to leave. Torpedo is really close of killing the both of you. Also, the guy of the other gang is now coming towards them.

Disbelief Papyrus - At first he is a bit disturbed, but he is happy to help you adapt to his world! So he drags you at the restaurant, to do shopping, to walk in the parc... He's having fun. You're ending the day in a swimsuit under a Delta's matching T-Shirt saying "cool friend" and a sombrero Delta bought you for some reason. You feel fabulous.

Ink - He kinda noticed that everyone was looking at him weirdly, but he didn't notice you before a very long time. Like, after you crossed 150 alternate universes or something. You almost die, several dozens of times, but you're still following him for some reason. Ink finds this amazing. He's so exciting he pukes ink on your shoes. Now everyone can hear you miles away since your shoes are making a "sploush sploush" noise. Also, Ink forgot you followed him at one point and left you in Underswap. Honey doesn't want you in his home, you're scaring him. So you just wait in front of his door. For days. When Ink finally comes to get you, Honey is traumatised and never wants to put a foot outside again.

Error - You are his apprentice now. He just decided that like that. Your job is to laugh like an evil villain whenever he's doing it. Except you doesn't know how. You are kinda sounding like a dying kitten or something. You're ruining Error's reputation in all the Multiverse, so much that he locks you in his anti-void for the rest of the day while he finishes to erase this random universe. You are a bad supervillain :(

Dustale Sans - Dune had an existential crisis when you suddenly imitates him. You're purring and rubbing your head against him, and he's just wondering if this is his life now. What a glow up. From world destroyer to domestic house cat. Where did he mess everything up? Why can't he act normally? Dune starts to cry like a baby. Too much love and happiness. He didn't mean to be cute, he wanted to be a charismatic villain :( Now he's just like... Garfield. It's so sad.