#even though some might be canon TO ME but that's something else entirely

[onepiece-polls]

I love your polls and it’s great you try to be on both sides to give fair chance to everyone, but the way you talked about shanks/buggy is crazy They’re fine together but in canon they’re brothers and your shipping googles got so tight you actually sounded like you could believe they’re anywhere close to canon which is u know stupid af

lmao, okay, this came out of nowhere 😂 Like... I talked about that months ago. But okay.

Anyway, Shuggy is canon. They're making out behind you right now.

[factual-fantasy]

Okay so I did some research on Seam and realized that it would be a crime to not add him to my AU in someway where him and Jevil reconcile and they escape to the multiverse together and are free and they're best friends and- 😭😭😭

I had a dark story all thought up for this but half way through drawing I changed the story so this isn't really canon anymore?? Or it might be idk- my Deltarune AU is only a few days into development so its constantly changing <XDD Sorry-

If anyone's interested in the story I've got it below the Keep reading :}} (Fair warning, its rather dark and disturbing..)

TLDR: This story is super dark and interesting to me but it might not be canon XD

ANYWAYS! The story behind this was Jevil and Seam come from a very dark and corrupt AU. Ruled by an even darker and wicked King (Lancers dad). In this AU they were Kings royal Magician and Jester as per usual. They were best friends though and preformed these beautiful displays of magic together. Side by side, hand in hand. They were best friends for years and always dreamed of one day running away together and finding a safe place to live.

Eventually Jevil met someone. Someone who spoke of a way to leave this place. They spoke of walking through your own reflection. And if done right, one could leave their AU entirely.. Jevil believed them out of desperation and tried to tell Seam about it. Seam thought Jevil was losing his mind. Walking through your own reflection? That makes no sense..

King caught wind of them plotting to escape. And as punishment to both of them he commanded Seam to lock Jevil away using his own magic.

In Seams eyes, Jevil was his best friend. His brother, the only thing in this world that he could trust. But he was more afraid of what King would do to him or Jevil for disobeying him, then he was willing to stand up against him. So while believing Jevil was sick in the head and needed help, he acted out of cowardice and sealed Jevil away..

I'm thinking that eventually sometime later, Jevil is able to escape through his own reflection. A mirror. And either he goes back and sees Seam dressed in these beautiful robes and thinks "well the king must be treating him well. Guess I'll just leave him to reap the benefits of betraying me.. >:(" And leaves with a bitter heart. THAT, or he just left. Never going back to check on Seam or see if King was treating him well or not.

So the AU continues. With Jevil traveling from world to world, meeting new people and learning new things.. When eventually he's with the whole gang and they're all sitting in a restaurant or something.

When Jevil suddenly feels this overwhelming sense of doom. Something horrible is about to happen to Seam. He just knows it, its in his bones. Deep within his soul he can feel it. He knows- he needs to save him.

He falls back out of his chair into a mirror and heads straight for his old AU. Showing up just in time to stop Seam from.. well..

They end up talking. Turns out that after Jevil was imprisoned, Seam tried to sneak down to the basement and visit him. He wanted to apologize for imprisoning him and explain himself- but he was caught by King.

"I just wanted to see him!"

"For that I will take your eye."

"NO! Please don't take my eye!!"

"For talking back, I will take your voice too."

King took Seams eye and stitched his mouth shut. He could still talk but not very well. To make things worse, when Jevil escaped? Seam thought he had died. Why wouldn't he? His magical barrier was never broken and Jevil was gone. Surly he must have died somehow.. Meanwhile everyone else was under the impression that Seam let Jevil escape because they were friends.

Seam then suffered greatly for years as punishment for "letting Jevil escape". He was bound by these magical chains made by King. He was abused for years and at this point he had enough. But before he could do anything rash.. Jevil returned.

Jevil then felt the sinking horror realizing that he left Seam alone in this world to be abused by King. He abandoned him. After all those years of promising to one day run away together..

Seam betrayed Jevil, and Jevil abandoned Seam.

After realizing all of this and having a long emotional talk. Seam and Jevil deeply apologized to the other, and forgave each other. Marking the beginning of their new friendship. And despite Seam feeling like he doesn't deserve freedom, he agreed to run away with Jevil and finally be free with him.

~~~~

Now this story is super cool and morbid and all but now I'm questioning the story and wether or not I want it to be canon <XD

I have some other ideas that I really like too and this one is just a biiiiit dark... ish. I mean I've made worse- but idk I guess this one just has a bad taste to it..

I also like the idea that Seam has been with Jevil this whole time and was the first person he saved. Which motivated him to try and save other people and give them the same freedom that he gave to Seam. But then that would change the Grillby fight and Spamton situation a bit and also maybe effect the Goner kid situation- GAH!! I'll figure it out eventually- <XDD

I hope this wasn't too hard to stomach and if you read all the way through I thank you :}} 💖

[angel-of-the-moons]

Small Surprises

Moon Knight System (Marc/Jake/Steven) x Single Mother!Reader

TW/CW: Some mentions of past childhood abuse, cheating partner, mostly fluff

A/N: Like the Symbrock one I did, this one will be one whole fic with a few times skips here and there! This fic will also explore a bit more into the autistic side of Steven as a character, based off my own experiences with my autism, tics, habits etc! Also, once again, featuring snippets of the hobby headcanons done by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction! (I love those headcanons so much they are canon as far as I'm concerned asdfghjkl)

Taglist: @chrishy973 @katitakenway @queerponcho

EDIT: Part 2 is out now!!! Read it here!

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Another droll day at the museum, the same disinterested customers and more nagging from Donna. Honestly, Steven was lucky he got his job back at the museum--though he only surmised it was due to the fact nobody else wanted to work for Donna--but he was grateful for the extra income.

And it definitely helped provide a distraction from Jake's night activities for Khonshu, as well as Marc's from time to time.

But of course, even though it provided a distraction, it wasn't much of one.

That is... until the day a poofy mop of curls bounced into the gift shop, eagerly looking at the wares within with big sparkling eyes. The child couldn't have been older than four--maybe five--as she happily looked at the myriad of items available.

Contrasting to most of the little girls he's seen come in (which, were admittedly few) she didn't immediately run over to the cheap horse figures with the chariots or even the cat plushies.

She went right for things like the plushie scarabs, the statues...

This of course had Donna proverbially chewing her nails as she watched the unaccompanied minor scamper about the gift shop.

"I'm going back to do inventory," She warned Steven. "If she breaks anything, it's coming out of your pay, Stevie."

Steven ground his teeth when she called him that, and waited for her to walk away before muttering. "What little you do pay me, you bloody old biddy."

Steven fixed his name tag and walked up to the little girl, crouching next to her as her chubby little face scrunched in what appeared to be distaste.

"Hey there, poppet. What's got you upset, eh?" He asked, his big brown eyes meeting hers as she crossed her arms with a huff.

"They don't look right!" She complained.

"Oh? What doesn't look right?" Steven asked patiently, a warm smile on his face.

The child pointed to the small canvases and posters of the various Egyptian gods. Namely the ones of Bastet and Anubis, and in particular of the two, one of the canvases depicting Anubis surrounded by shrieking souls and flames.

He himself had raised a complaint with that depiction, as after his own time in the Egyptian afterlife (alongside Marc, and unbeknownst to them at the time, Jake) he knew the afterlife was not like that. While they hadn't met Anubis himself, they were guided and weighed by Taweret.

But he wholeheartedly agreed that the artwork of Anubis was entirely wrong, and frankly, offensive.

"'Nubis isn't like that." She said, stomping her little foot. "He's nice!"

Steven raised his eyebrows at her, tilting his head as some stray curls fell over his face. "Oh?" He asked. "Then tell me little one, how is Anubis?"

"He's--!" She scoffed, rolling her eyes in the typical fashion a child does when they feel like they're explaining something painfully obvious to an oblivious adult.

"He's a good dog-man." She says to him. "He doesn't mess with skulls n' stuffs! He's nice, he helps people who might get lost when they die."

'That's a hefty subject for a kid.' Marc's voice spoke.

"No kidding." Jake remarked. "Where are her parents?"

Steven meanwhile, was positively thrilled that one so young understood that Anubis, while being the god of death, was not evil. And... naturally this sent him into info-dump mode.

"Why, yes! Anubis is good." He held up a finger as the little girl looked at him, awe on her face that he understood what she was saying and was willing to actually talk about it.

"He guided souls once they left their earthly bodies." He explained, grabbing a small replica of an Egyptian temple front. "Once their hearts were weighed, if they were good, he would help guide them to the afterlife. If they were bad..."

"They got ate by the crocko-lion!" The girl finished with a gasp.

Steven suppressed the urge to laugh at how she described Ammit. Jake and Marc meanwhile, held no such compunction and were laughing their asses off.

"I like this kid." Jake said as his laughter died down.

"Yes! They did. But did you know they also had to be judged? Not just with the scales?" Steven grinned at her as she bounced on her heels, the palms of her hands rubbing on her coveralls as she listened.

"Now that subject is very lengthy...." Steven leaned over on the flats of his shoes and plucked a small book about the Egyptian afterlife and mythos and showed it to the little girl. The cover was emblazoned with raised gold print; with images of sarcophagi, and motifs scattered on the front and back.

"But it's always worth a good read." Steven continued. "Now, if you want to know someone else who sometimes assists those who've passed on?"

The little girl plucked the book out of Steven's arms, nodding, her eyes tracking the way his mouth and hair moved. Not once did she make eye contact, instead settling for staring at other features instead.

Steven could understand, sometimes looking into people's eyes was... oof. It was difficult and frankly sometimes it made him uncomfortable, made his palms itch and the hair on the back of his neck tickle.

He stood up, and walked to another shelf, the little girl trailing behind him, the book looking three sizes too large for her tiny body as her little light up sneakers squeaked on the waxed linoleum.

Steven reached down, then, and grabbed a plaster statuette of a familiar feminine shape sporting a hippo head and kneeled back down, showing it to her.

"This is Taweret." He beamed proudly.

"She's the nice hippo lady." The child peeped, staring at the statue with rapt attention.

"Yes! Yes, she is! Very nice." Steven chuckled. "But she's also the goddess of motherhood and children, did you know? She protects women when they have their babies, and helps them."

The little girl nodded, "Yeah, I read a thingy 'bout her! She's--"

"Victoria! Oh my god." A breathless voice called from the front of the shop.

The moment Steven lifted his gaze, he could feel his heart catch on his throat when he saw you. Even Marc and Jake went quiet as you approached.

You were wearing some faded-out jeans and a t-shirt with a faded band logo that hugged your figure very nicely. You had a backpack slung over your shoulders and the keychains dangling from it tinkled and clacked as you moved, rushing to scoop up your child.

Steven could easily see that Victoria got her looks from you, those gorgeous inquisitive eyes, her nose, hair texture...

Jake had to give him the mental equivalent of a slap to stop his gawking as he stood up awkwardly, wiping the hand not holding the statue on his jeans as he gave you what he hoped was a charming smile, but judging by your wariness, you obviously weren't thrilled at the sight of your daughter talking to a strange man.

Steven was about to speak up, but Victoria did so instead for him, not reading the tenseness in the situation.

"Steven's my friend!" She beamed, holding the book in her pudgy little fingers, showing you. "He knows about 'Gyptian stuff, too!"

Steven blinked, feeling a blush creep up on his cheeks as you looked at him, raised eyebrows. It took him a moment of awkward glancing away to realize Victoria knew his name because she read his name tag. He hadn't once said it to her. Hell, he only knew her name because you said it when you ran in!

"Ah... Yes. I work here, in the gift shop. Egyptology is a major... um." He struggled to find a word.

"Hyperfixation?" You sigh, the tension easing from your shoulders as you smile tiredly.

"Oh! Yes. I s'pose!" He said, blinking his big doe eyes at you.

"Yeah, Victoria is... well." You chuckle, propping the young child on your hip with practiced ease. "She's obsessed with the stuff! I swear, the stuff she can shove into her noggin with how much she knows of ancient Egypt, it feels like she was born in the wrong era, I'm telling you!"

Victoria smiled happily and snuggled into you, rubbing her cheek on the soft fabric of your shirt with a content hum, almost like a happy little cat.

You didn't pay any mind to her as she rubbed her face on you, instead conversing with the man in front of you.

"Ah... A little scholar to be, eh?" Steven laughed awkwardly.

"Hah, more like she already is one. With everything she knows, I swear she outpaces me in the IQ department." You sigh fondly, brushing a stray curl from your daughter's face.

Steven's eyes anxiously tracked your movements, how your fingers curled, the way your eyelashes brushed your cheeks when you blinked, the way your foot tapped on the floor...

"I'm surprised she talked to you. She's normally very introverted." You hum softly, raising those drop dead gorgeous eyes to lock with his before he awkwardly dropped his eyes to your lips whilst you spoke.

"But then again, if you started talking about this stuff with her, it's no surprise. I'm the only person she talks to about it because nobody else understands."

You noticed his Steven was looking anywhere but your eyes, and how he nervously licked at his lips, his fingers wrapped around the statuette in his hands tapping idly.

"Oh! She's a lovely little conversationalist. Rather well-knowledged as well!" Steven replied, looking at Victoria again, who grinned as she once again rubbed her face on your shirt.

"Honestly, she's more learned than half the adults who try to talk to me about Egypt." He huffed out a chuckle.

His eyes dropped to the picture of Anubis that initially offended the child. "We got into a little debate about how inaccurate those pieces of Anubis are."

"Oh, don't get her started on those inaccurate artworks... She despises them!" You laugh softly.

"Oh, I fully understand why! It's so offensive!" Steven gasped. "Especially to a culture! Anubis is not an evil god by any means!"

"Oh yeah, believe me... we watched a movie the other day and she had a meltdown because they made Anubis the bad guy. She was so distraught it took thirty minutes to calm her down." You smile with infinite patience at your little girl.

"Oh, poor little dear! But I can totally understand that." Steven smiled, finally locking eyes with you as he reached some level of professional comfort with you.

"Mommy, can I get em?" Victoria peeped, interrupting you before you could get another word out.

"Hm?" You hummed at her, raising an eyebrow.

"The book and hippo lady!" She replied, holding up the book.

"Hippo Lady?"

"Yeah!" She said, sounding a little exasperated, pointing to the statue Steven clutched in his hands. "Her! Tawar!"

"Taweret." Steven chuckled softly at her mispronunciation.

"Tawww--" Victoria frowned as she tried to get the word out. "Tawweret."

"Close 'nough. I'm sure she wouldn't mind." Steven smiled warmly, holding up the statuette.

"All right, all right." You laughed, following Steven to the counter so you could check out, having another nice chat about what he and Victoria discussed. He even tossed in a little keychain that held a preserved scarab beetle in epoxy, much to Victoria's delight!

What you didn't know as you left the shop, was how positively smitten he was with you already.

That was your first meeting with Steven Grant.

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A few weeks crawled by, and every other day you were at the museum, letting Victoria lead you by the hand as she animatedly discussed what every object or picture meant, and you struggled to keep up, making mental (and a few digital) notes on what she was talking about. Of course, she insisted that after every tour, you stopped to say hi to her new "bestest friend" Steven.

You were thrilled that you found someone who operated on the same wavelength as your daughter, knowing that it was hard for her to make connections with other children, let alone adults. But Steven and Victoria took to each other like ducks to water.

And hey, he seemed harmless enough. Cute, too, beneath that mop of curls. You even started researching more just to be able to tag into the conversations between your daughter and her unlikely friend.

Today, you were at the local grocer and Victoria decided that she wanted to walk with you instead of riding in the trolley on her tablet like she normally did. You were happy, but ensured she kept her noise cancelling headphones over her tiny ears to make sure she stayed comfortable.

You had picked up a pack of steaks to examine the cuts when Victoria slipped your hand free of hers and darted off, squealing, "Steven!"

You almost dropped the steaks when Victoria darted down the aisle and wrapped her arms around the legs of the man she ran towards.

One minute Marc was looking at a box of matzahs, the next, he had a child clinging to his legs.

His whole body froze as he looked down, immediately going rigid as the little girl looked up at him, babbling something he didn't quite understand because of how quickly she was speaking.

He did make out the name "Steven".

"Uh--" He said awkwardly.

"I'm so sorry!" You say, hastily bringing the trolley up to the two. "She just got excited to see you, and..."

Your brows furrowed as you looked at him. He looked like Steven Grant, but he didn't feel like Steven Grant. His normally messy curls were combed back neatly, his flannel hanging open with the sleeves rolled up and T-shirt untucked from his pants. His big brown eyes were wide, looking at you with a face that simply pleaded "Help me".

"Uh..."

"I'm... Marc." He said in an unmistakably American accent.

"Oh. Oh!" You lean down and scoop up Victoria, hastily plopping her in the trolley, willing yourself to ignore her little wobbling lip as you messily search up her favorite video to watch on her tablet to prevent the simmering meltdown you could see just beneath her surface.

"I'm... I'm sorry. You just look like someone we know from the museum, and..." You sigh, rubbing your hands together as you cringed.

"Steven, yeah..." Marc said, giving a stiff smile in return as he dropped the box of what looked like crackers into his basket looped over his elbow.

"You..."

'Play it cool, Marc...' Jake's voice softly warned.

"We're, uh, brothers. Triplets. All identical." He spat out with haste.

"Oh! Well... That's... That explains the looks, huh." You smile, hoping to ease the awkward tension. His explanation didn't sit well with you for some reason, as to why he suddenly blurted it all out. But you chocked it up to him trying to explain to avoid upsetting Victoria.

"But, yeah. Um... Your brother, Steven? He and Victoria are like, best friends now. She looks forward to seeing him whenever we're at the museum." You chuckle softly.

Marc's eyes soften as he smiles, giving Victoria a gentle look. "Yeah, uh, Steven's told me about her. She's a smart kid, huh?"

"Oh, yeah. A real genius." You smile at her as she starts tapping away at her tablet, selecting one of her drawing apps and beginning to scribble.

"Sometimes I can't keep up with her."

"Hey, that's good. She'll go places." Marc replied.

Your smile falters a bit. "Yeah, if people will give her a chance..." You mutter.

Marc was about to ask what she meant, but he kept his mouth shut, watching as Victoria was engrossed with her tablet, her little feet wiggling and tapping on the sides of the trolley as she moved her mouth silently, mouthing words to herself.

"She's... Eh." You rub the back of your neck. "She normally doesn't come to the store with me. She says she can hear the lights buzzing and it upsets her, which is why she has to wear her headphones. I mean I can't hear the lights or anything, but all I need to know is that she can..."

"Yeah, Steven is the same way sometimes. It makes him twitch so he has to wear headphones when we go shopping..." Marc said, frowning.

"Yeah. That's something I'm kind of amazed about. Victoria doesn't really have any friends outside of well, me... and your brother? Steven and her are just... man, they're like two peas in a pod!"

Marc stays quiet as you smile fondly at your child, and he notes the relief in your expression as you recount that your child was able to finally connect with someone. It warmed his heart to know that Steven was able to socialize with someone who shared the same mannerisms, even if she was just a kid.

His eyes flicked down to your hands as you put your hands on your hips, and noted the lack of wedding ring and a ring tan line.

'Focus, cabrón.' Jake snickered.

"She's autistic. It was a pain to get her diagnosed, but we managed. I could tell she was different. Namely how she would act with fabrics." You sigh.

Now that grabbed both Marc and Jake's attention. If Steven were aware and co-fronting, he was sure he would be rapt as well. Steven explained the fabric thing to hime a few times, but being in the same body it was still hard at times to understand that Marc or Jake could feel one thing but Steven could feel another.

"Uh... Fabrics? You'll have to forgive me, but..."

"Oh! It's a sensory thing." You explain, rolling your hand. "With her, it's fleece, or satin-like textures. They irritate her and make her fussy. As a baby I never understood why she flipped out when I would put her little socks on her until the doctor explained it when she was older. But for some people it's cotton, or microfiber... The way Victoria describes it is that it's, uh..."

"Scratchy." Marc murmurs.

"Exactly!" You snap your fingers.

"Yeah, Steven is the same way. Though he's not like that with satin, he usually prefers cotton--the super soft kind? Or silk." Marc nods, shoving one hand in his pocket.

"Yeah... It's thankfully easy to shop for her, she prefers cotton and soft microfiber. It's why she rubs her cheek on my shirts or pants. Some people mistake it for being affectionate--and don't get me wrong sometimes it is--but usually it's a grounding thing." You sigh softly. "It helps her calm down."

"Ah... Sounds hard. What about her dad? He know how to handle it?" Marc asked curiously.

He immediately felt bad when he saw how your expression fell, and you glared at the ground.

"He skipped out on us while I was pregnant. I caught him in our bed with someone I thought was my best friend the day I found out she was a girl." You spit, angry and full of venom.

Marc cringed. "God, your best friend? In your bed? That's a whole extra level of degeneracy..."

"I know! Ugh! I swear, if he wasn't stronger than me I would have stabbed him that day!" You groan.

Marc rocks his head back in shock at the admission. "You were gonna stab him?"

"When you're five months pregnant, hormonal, tired, and sore and walk in on your fiancee doing the deed in your own bed? Yeah, emotions get high." You run a hand through your hair, smirking as you looked back at him.

"Grabbed the knife right outta the block and lunged at him. Chased em both half naked out of my flat."

'Shit, I'd be in love. That sounds sexy as hell.' Marc could just imagine the grin that would be spread across Jake's face at that.

Marc laughed, unable to contain himself, both at the retelling of your story and Jake's remark.

'You got problems, Jake.' Marc shot back mentally.

'Pot, meet kettle...'

'Touché...'

"So it's safe to say, he's out of the picture, huh?" Marc says, his laughter dying down into a soft chuckle.

"Oh yeah. Had his parental rights severed, and kicked his sorry.... well. I tossed him out and told him that my "best friend" could deal with him and his lazy antics, considering I pay for the flat."

"Yikes. Sounds like a real dirt bag."

"Oh yeah, he was. I have no idea what I saw in him, to be honest... And knowing that Victoria isn't "normal" like other kids, I feel like he would treat her badly, or... hurt her." You say, shaking your head.

"Hey, if he shows up and does that just call me." Marc grunted. "I hate it when people do that crap to kids. I'll knock his teeth down his throat."

The words slipped out before he could stop them, and the weight of them almost made them feel oppressive as glimpses of his abusive childhood shone through. The memories of his mother swinging her arm down, the crack of the leather belt, the red, bloody welts in his skin...

'Ay, hermano. Come back, don't think about that.' Jake's voice said gently, urging that door in his mind shut. 'That's not your life, anymore.'

Marc blinked and looked back up at you, his eyes locking with yours. And the concern on your face... he felt so undeserving of it. He wasn't sure why, but...

"Ah... I mean... Let's just say I have experience with that sort of thing. So I'm..." He struggled.

"No, no, I get it. My dad was a piece of shhh..." You cringed as the word almost slipped from you, casting a short glance to Victoria, making sure she couldn't hear you. "Er. He was bad. So yeah, I totally get you."

"Oh... Sorry, people get weirded out when I..." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Disassociate." You finish for him. "I used to do the same thing when it came to my dad. It gets easier once you're free of it, I promise."

The soft, sweet smile you give him was strong enough to make his heart jump into his throat.

'Wow...'

'Ask. Her. Out. Steven won't do it, so you do it!' Jake urged him.

Marc choked suddenly, coughing awkwardly to clear his throat at Jake's further commentary.

"You okay?" You ask him.

"Y-Yeah, I just... Uh..." He cringed again. "It's... allergies! I've been dealing with them since we dusted the flat, and... Yep. Allergies."

You chuckle softly at him as Victoria tugs on your sleeve and whispers in your ear.

"Oop, mama duty calls. It was nice meeting you, Marc." You grin, giving him a short handshake.

"Yeah... You too." Marc replied as you walked off, giving Victoria a wave as she peeked over your shoulder as you push the trolley away.

'Allergies? Smooth, Marc. Really smooth. How the hell did you ever bag Layla with romantic skills like that?' Jake sighed sarcastically.

'I swear Layla probably only married you for your dick, man. You're so BAD at romance.'

Marc knew Layla did love him, at one point but with all the drama of being Moon Knight, it quickly snuffed that relationship... They were still close of course, but they'd never open up to another intimate relationship again. Which was fine, none of them minded particularly.

Especially not now. Not now that there's a cute single mom with and adorably--scarily--smart little girl on her hip to occupy those thoughts.

And that... was your first time meeting Marc Spector.

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Now, meeting Jake was different. Completely different. You technically "met" Jake weeks after you met Marc and built a rapport with him.

One night, Jake was sitting in the window, munching on some saltines he'd spread with sunflower butter as he read some old knitting patterns in a book he'd picked up at a resale shop.

He thought he could knit something for both you and Victoria and have Steven give it to you, it would be a good way to start actually flirting, to hopefully open up that door for all of you.

But of course... well. He knew Steven was way too shy to ask you out on a date, and Marc was too chicken shit and awkward about the subject to bring it up himself.

And so, it fell upon Jake Lockley to find a way to get closer to you, two. He understood that many single mothers found it tricky to date, especially with a child like Victoria. It would require immense levels of trust to get past those walls you would have put up to protect both you and Victoria, especially after you'd told Marc about Victoria's biological father fucking your best friend the day of your ultrasound.

He could just imagine how your poor face fell when you closed your front door, hearing the ridiculously high-pitched, false moans and the squeaking of the mattress as that miserable excuse of a man was having his way with your supposed "best friend"...

All while your hands would have clutched the pictures of your unborn baby girl, tears bubbling up in your eyes as you screamed at them while they scrambled to cover their shame.

And then.... as you told Marc, you would have grabbed the knife and the rest was history; bidding goodbye to that cheating bastard and woman you once trusted.

You were strong, loving and oh so patient with your daughter and her needs. Jake found your whole being attractive, honestly. He hadn't seen you angry, but he just knew you were a badass if you wanted to be.

He chuckled as he picked up his knitting needles, and began to loop the soft, thick yarn through each line. He was sure to pick yarn that wouldn't upset Victoria and her sensory issues, so he picked the softest yarn he possibly could, selecting enough to make the both of you matching jumpers.

Victoria's would be a little big, to allow for comfort and her to grow into it as she wore it. He could just imagine how adorable she'd look with the sleeves hanging over her little hands, squirming and giggling as you two played together--

Jake's hands stopped knitting.

Shit. He had it down bad for you, too.

When he looked down, that's when he noticed the green laser pointed right at him...

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You were there, simply cleaning up the mess from dinner as Victoria happily colored on her dry erase board, drawing the shapes and hieroglyphs she saw in the book Steven selected for her.

She had been quiet and engrossed in her little art project for so long that you jumped and almost dropped a plate on the floor when she squealed loudly.

"Mommy, it's Steven! Or Mister Marc?"

"Huh? What?" You looked around your flat, for some reason your brain told you to look inside instead our our the window where her little finger tapped the glass excitedly.

"No, there!" She insisted. "Over there!"

You walk over to her and lean down, looking out the window.

And sure enough, across the street, in the building across from yours, an apartment had the curtains open with the lights on.

In one of the windows, at a desk, sat a man. The streets were close enough together that you could make out some details. The shadow of a mustache being the first thing you zeroed in on, and then the immaculately slicked-back hair.

He looked like he was... knitting? This man, who looked like Steven and Marc. Marc and Steven both mentioned on different occasions that they had a brother named Jake, maybe this was him?

And wow! So close by, too!

Victoria waved her arms, trying to get her attention, but the man was so absorbed in his task that he didn't notice her try to get his attention. When her little disappointed sniffles could be heard, you snap your fingers.

"I got an idea!" You say, dashing to the end table by the front door and rummaging through the various keychains you'd accumulated. It was a guilty habit of yours, you found.

But then you pluck up the laser toy and run back to the window. It takes shaking it once or twice for the green light to illuminate, but when it does, you shine it directly through the window and at the man's chest.

Then, he looked up.

You break out into a happy grin when he spots the two of you, and Victoria giggles with unabated glee as she waves some more, her whole tiny body moving with every shake of her overly excited hand.

You see the man smile back and he waves at the both of you.

"Hey, baby, why don't we use your board to say hi?" You suggest, rubbing her shoulders.

"Yeah!" She giggles, grabbing the board and erasing her painstakingly re-created drawings from the book, and messily scrawled the word:

Hi :)

The man laughed and looked around until he grabbed a notebook, scribbled something with a marker, and held it up for you two to see.

Hello

You chuckle as Victoria hands you the board, knowing that your writing is neater than hers is, and with how excited she is, she was bound to mess up.

You quickly and clearly write something down and turn the board to face the window.

Steven or Marc?

He smiled at you and scribbled back.

Jake

Marc n Steven told us about you. Hi!

They've told me a lot about you, too.

"That's Jake, honey. Remember what I said? How Steven and Mister Marc look alike? He's the same way." You explain to Victoria.

"Oh." She sighs. Poor little thing seemed dejected that once again, she misidentified someone as her "bestest friend".

You lift your eyes as Jake showed what he put on the notepad next. It was a badly drawn cat with a happy face on it.

You can't help but laugh and grin, nudging Victoria to look at what he drew for her.

"It's a kitty!" She gasps, snatching the board from your hands to draw pictures for him.

You spent much of the evening that night with Victoria and Jake drawing pictures back and forth, writing messages until he ran out of paper.

That's when you put down your phone number and told him to text, to make it easier on Victoria.

Victoria, upon realizing this, dropped her board and snatched your phone, starting a video call with Jake and chattering his ear off. He seemed to take it in stride, engaging with her. Not on the same level as Steven, but something about how he handled it gave you the impression he had experience with kids, or even worked with kids.

He didn't talk down or dumb anything down for her, he spoke to her calmly and clearly like he would anyone else, and the fact he was so sweet was endearing to you.

He was even teaching her little words in Spanish. For some reason, she liked to repeat the word "cat" because she liked how it sounded, and it was "funny".

That was how you met Jake Lockley.

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It was now half a year since you'd indirectly met all three "brothers" and quickly, the pressure was beginning to mount on them to reveal the truth to you as their crush developed more and more into full infatuation with you and your darling girl.

But they still hadn't asked you out, yet. They'd come close a few times, but it was never when Jake was in control so Marc and Steven backed down at the last possible moment. Every time Jake was in control it wasn't a "good moment" for them to propose a date with you. But now?

It was late in the year, the harvest festival being over with and the holidays around the corner with Christmas, as usual, dominating all others. Snow and ice encased everything. It came early this year, and Victoria couldn't be more thrilled. (She could build snowmen with her friends, Steven, Mister Marc and Mister Jake!)

You and Jake would text, and he gave in and told you that he, Marc, and Steven all actually lived together and he would "let" Steven or Marc use his phone so he could video chat with Victoria and you.

You didn't know the boys all shared the same phone regardless.

It was nice having a social life again, even if it was small. Outside work and ensuring a comfortable upbringing for your little girl, you'd forgotten how nice it was to have friends. Even if those friends consisted of three identical, quirky brothers who lived in the flat across the way.

The day was coming soon, for when they would have to confess to you about the true nature of their identities. And the three unanimously agreed that they would tell you about Moon Knight.

For your safety, and Victoria's. They didn't want you to agree to date them (if you ever would) only to find out they snuck out in the dead of night to do the bidding of some creepy ancient bird god who could frankly do with a wardrobe update...

They just didn't anticipate that day to be today. Of course, Steven would rather have broken the news to you over a nice dinner in the corner booth of a quiet restaurant. Or even on a nice walk through the park...

But no. No, it had to come out when you decided to pull out your phone and go through your texts or the day as Victoria sat in Steven's lap on the couch of your living room.

Jake had sent a meme earlier in the day, of a little cat wearing a sombrero and you chuckled. You sent a meme back in reply, of a snail holding some maracas on some drawn-on arms.

That's when Steven twitched when the phone in his back pocket vibrated and chimed with a silly little ringtone.

You blinked at him as he fished it out of his pocket, careful not to knock Victoria off balance as he checked it. He awkwardly cleared his throat and gave you a strained smile as he set it on the coffee table in front of you.

"You okay..." You say, eyeing the very familiar phone. They could just have the same model and case...

"Oh, yes, just an email alert, luv. Don't worry 'bout it!" Steven chirped, quickly shifting his attention back to Victoria as she practiced her reading from the book in her hands.

You squint at him suspiciously. Your finger hovered over the send button when you selected another silly little image...

But you decided to call instead.

That's when a song began to chime. One you recognized very well as Steven's favorite song...

♫"Lonely is a man,

Without looove~"♫

'God damn it, Steven! You forgot to put it on silent again!' Marc's panicked voice shouted inside their headspace.

'Ay, hermanito, not now!' Jake groaned.

Steven began to sweat profusely as Victoria handed the phone innocently to him, urging him to answer it, not making the correlation with the song, or your phone number...

Steven shakily held the phone to his ear and answered.

"H-Hello..."

"Steven." You deadpan, raising an eyebrow and tapping your finger on your arm.

'Shit shit shit shit.' Marc hissed.

'Busted.' Jake almost sang.

You look at Victoria, hesitant to interrupt her time with Steven, but you wanted answers. Why is it that none of the men ever agreed to all meet up in person to hang out? Why did you only ever see one at a time? Yes, work was a convenient excuse, but every single day?

And then there's the phone!

Yeah, you weren't letting Steven wiggle free from this talk, even as Victoria pouted and trudged back into her room to play with her toys.

You almost feel like a cop in a bad movie, the way you lean back with your arms crossed, almost like you were an interrogator in a police precinct.

Would this make you both the bad and good cop?

You felt so bad, knowing that this kind of behavior would only freak Steven out, so you relaxed your jaw and posture, leaning away from him and giving him breathing room as his sweaty hands began to pat nervously in the memorized tune of that specific song that was just playing.

"I'm not blind, and I'm not dumb... So start from the beginning." You sigh. "I don't want anything to come out and upset Victoria, but I have to know who I'm letting around my little girl."

Steven licked at his slightly chapped lips, taking his bottom lip between his teeth briefly.

"Okay..." He peeped.

'Just take it slow, Steven.' Marc urged him gently.

'I can take control, if you want.' Jake offered.

"No, that's too much right now." Steven muttered aloud, without thinking.

You tipped your head to the side. "What's too much?"

Steven jumped and covered his mouth, his big doe eyes wide as can be, like he's a little boy who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

He despised awkward situations like this. He could never tell what to say to keep someone happy and to avoid them getting angry with him...

"Steven, I'm not mad. I'm honestly confused. Please... Just... Tell me everything, okay? I just wanna know some things." You say, leaning forward to put your hand on his knee, your ever so patient eyes sweet and understanding.

Yeah, those eyes were his undoing.

"Do you know what Dissociative Identity Disorder is?"

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Whatever you had originally expected to hear from Steven, finding out that he, Marc and Jake all shared the same body was a lot to absorb. Especially after Steven blurted out about their superhero alter ego that apparently did bidding for an Egyptian god?

Steven expected you to be mad, braced himself for it, but instead, he and his two headmates were knocked entirely off center when you made the remark that if Khonshu ever got to be too much for the boys, they should lock him in a room with Victoria and her never-ending questions.

That would shut him up for a little while, surely.

Another thing you weren't expecting was the date proposal from Steven (and of course Marc and Jake).

You hesitated, at first... But...

They were so kind and sweet. They already have shown so much care for you and your daughter... And you were honestly happy to realize that you weren't crushing on different guys, that your feelings were no longer awkward and conflicted.

Or wait, were you crushing on different men? Yes they were completely different identities, but they shared a body, and... oh, this was gonna take time to learn more about.

Your first date was for later that week. Steven informed you it would be Jake, taking you out, as he felt like a "bloody awkward fool" and was afraid of messing it up, and Marc was just as bad at those social situations.

But you agreed, and when the date rolled around, you and Victoria were bundled up, all ready to go to the charming little Italian restaurant somewhere in town where apparently Jake was friendly with the employees there.

Victoria skipped in the snow, struggling to match her pace with yours, making sure her footsteps were measured so her prints mirrored yours exactly as she walked on her little tippy toes.

As you approached where Jake had his car parked, he smiled, his mustache quirking up as he scooped Victoria in his large gloved hands, laughing when she dragged her fingers over his hairy upper lip, comparing the stache to a caterpillar.

You stifled a snort and covered your mouth as you watched Jake buckle Victoria into a booster seat in the back of his car.

"Where did you..." You blinked. You fully intended to run back to your flat and grab the booster seat you owned, but you were surprised to see Jake already had one. A rather expensive-looking one, at that.

"Ay, cariño, you didn't think I'd let the little chiquita ride unprotected, did you?" He smirked at you, his dark eyes glinting mischievously.

"But, I have one. You didn't have to..."

"Hey, if it makes it easier, I'll be happy to foot the bill." Jake hummed, leaning in to check Victoria's buckles as she played on her tablet, snow-caked shoes kicking lazily as she did.

Normally, Jake was insane about his car. He always made sure his fares cleaned their damn feet off before getting inside. But for you two he willingly made the exception.

"Now, c'mon mamacita." Jake grinned at you once more as he enabled the child lock and closed the door on Victoria's side. "We got lunch to get to, right?"

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You couldn't remember the last time you were on a date. Actually wait, you could. The night you got pregnant. One of the only times Victoria's sperm donor was ever romantic with you, and he proposed the next morning after.

Yeah, you knew how that story ended.

But now it looked like a whole new book was being written right in front of you, as cliché as it all sounded.

Jake had treated you both well, engaging happily and drawing with Victoria on the activity mat the restaurant provided as you sipped your glass of red wine, watching; your heart was fluttering in your chest as you watched how happy she was interacting with them.

After a while, he went back out to his car and returned with a sparkly red gift bag for the two of you and you immediately felt your heart lurch up from your chest and into your throat.

He knitted the two of you matching jumpers. A mama cat and her kitten, of course, he managed to do it in an Egyptian style, much to Victoria's glee as she ripped off her regular jumper in favor of the one Jake made, immediately rubbing her face on the sleeve with a happy giggle.

You couldn't help but smile warmly as Jake helped her pop her head through the top, and you decided to slip yours on, yourself.

God, it was almost surreal how Hallmark it all seemed. Not one, but three men interested in you, a lonely single mother. All three men who adored your daughter and treated you both with respect. All three men, who shared the same body and nighttime secret.

And you found yourself falling just as hard, and somewhere in the back of your mind wondered if--if--you had met them first... would they have been Victoria's father(s)? Would they have rejoiced in your pregnancy? Gone to your appointments, held your hand in the delivery room? Would they have helped the doctors weigh and print Victoria for the very first time?

Your mind was knocked out of the what-ifs when your phone jingled, catching Jake's attention.

"Oh, it's Victoria's pediatrician. I have to take this." You sigh sadly, not wanting to step away from the cozy atmosphere in your booth.

Jake smiled at you and winked, "Go ahead and take it. I got her handled."

You smiled back, hoping the flush to your face wasn't as obvious as you feared as you got up and answered the call.

Jake continued to play and draw with Victoria, letting her explain how some of her learning games worked, what apps were her favorite, and who her favorite cartoon characters were.

Honestly, if anyone thought Steven was great with Victoria thanks to their same autistic traits? Jake was good simply because he was a natural with kids. Marc was, too, but he was a bit stiff and nervous. He needed to be eased into it just a bit more.

"Hey.... Psst. Mister Jake." Victoria whispered to him, blinking her big, bright, gorgeous eyes up at him.

"Yeah? What is it, gatita?" Jake hummed at her, grinning.

She waved her hand, urging him closer as she whispered conspiratorially, cupping her hand over his ear, "Look where Mommy's standing."

Jake lifts his gaze to find you among the crowd of people, where you stood on your phone, talking to the doctor about Victoria's upcoming appointment. He tracked where Victoria was pointing, and that's when he saw it: the mistletoe.

He knew immediately what Victoria was hinting at.

"That means you gotta kiss my Mommy." She whispered to him again.

"Oh, I do, huh?" Jake teased, poking her in the side. "And what if I don't?"

"Then Imma make you!" She squeaked and giggled.

"Oh, dear, then in that case I definitely have to do it, eh?" He chuckled.

"C'mon." Jake said, scooping Victoria up and holding her on his hip. "Let's go give another present to your wonderful mamá."

As they got closer to you, he caught the tail-end of your conversation.

"...yeah. Next Wednesday at 3pm. See you, then, Doctor Wilson. ...Of course! Happy holidays." You say cheerily, ending the call.

When you turned around, you saw Jake holding Victoria against him as he walked closer to you.

The sight really shouldn't have taken your breath away the way that it did...

But if you thought your breath was taken before? It was entirely robbed from you as Jake leaned in, wrapping an arm around your waist as he tipped his head down to kiss you, his mustache tickling your nose and upper lip.

You were so taken aback that you didn't hear the whooping and laughing from the workers of the restaurant as the scene unfolded in front of them, congratulating Jake.

Victoria squirmed and squealed and laughed and laughed, rubbing her face on Jake's leather jacket as your lips finally parted and your jaw dropped.

"What's the matter, mamacita? Cat got your tongue?"

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God, dating those men was the best decision you ever made. Even with them being Moon Knight.

They were kind enough to always say goodnight to Victoria before they went about their business, giving you a soft kiss before whichever one was in control of the body departed.

You had only been dating a short while, it was now entering February and you were all spending more and more time together. Marc, Jake, and Steven had all spent the night once or twice in their own time.

Nothing sexual happened, but it was so nice to fall asleep with someone wrapping their arms around you. It was even better to wake up and see Victoria snuggled onto his chest, his arms caged around her protectively, flexing when she made any movements as his unconscious body ensured she wouldn't roll off of him and--god forbid--onto the floor.

It was a few days before Valentine's, and Marc had spent the day with you and Victoria. He had gotten much more comfortable around her, falling into a natural and gentle routine unique to them. Just like she had with Steven, and Jake. And above all, they handled her autism well.

Steven was exceptionally good at helping distract her during her meltdowns, whereas Jake could cradle her, singing little songs in Spanish as he rubbed her back. Marc would start by talking to her in a low, gentle tone, urging her to just breathe, and talk, explaining what was upsetting her and what would work best to help her calm down from it.

But right now, Victoria was in the midst of a battle against sleep.

"Don' wanna sleep." Victoria sniffled into Marc's jumper.

"I know, babydoll, but you'll feel loads better once you do, mkay?" He murmured quietly to her as he padded, barefoot into Victoria's almost obnoxiously canary-yellow bedroom.

"I can make some apple pancakes for you in the morning, hm? How's that sound?"

He dodged the minefield of toys scattered about and chuckled softly at the shelf where her little ancient Egypt memorabilia sat meticulously organized alongside her books and drawings on the subject. A half-finished paper sarcophagus lay on the desk in the corner, a project Steven had started with her two days ago that they intended to finish together.

Marc laid her down and she nodded, rubbing her eye. "Okay..." She mumbled in agreement.

Marc picked up the plushy scarab that Steven bought from the gift shop and handed it to her, tucking her in all nice and warm.

"There you go." He said softly to her, kneeling next to the bed. "Snug as a bug in... well. Blankets, right now, huh?"

He grinned when Victoria giggled groggily at his pun, squeezing the beetle plush she named "Digger" and snuggled under the blankets, her feather lashes brushed her cheeks as she began to drift off.

"See you in the morning, babydoll." Marc said softly, giving her a kiss to her forehead before standing.

His finger had just flipped the switch to turn off the lights in her room, so only the salt lamp dimly illuminated her bedside, when he heard her peep as she rolled over.

"G'night daddy."

He felt like his heart stopped beating as he shakily closed the door, dragging his suddenly very heavy feet through your flat as he made his way to your couch, the weight of that word landing on his shoulders.

He felt like Atlas, carrying the world on his back as he dropped down onto the chocolate brown cushions.

You walk over, having finished dishes from dinner, wiping your hands on a tea towel. Upon seeing his shell-shocked expression, you sit next to him in concern as he covered his face with his hands, his arms shaking and skin pale.

"Marc, sweetie, what's wrong?"

"I..." He said, his voice breaking.

You lean in, reaching out to brush a hand through his mop of curls, letting him take his time. Maybe Steven or Jake was trying to front? You've seen how taxing it could be on them when it happened so suddenly. One time Steven had seized control in the kitchen from Jake and he fell and cracked his head open on the counter! Poor Victoria cried when she saw how much he was bleeding, scared that he was dying.

It took a lot of hugs and kisses to convince her otherwise...

"She... God. Fuck." Marc swore softly, sniffing. "She--she called me daddy."

Your jaw dropped and you gawked at him. Was Victoria already so attached to him? To them? But then again, she's never had a father figure, before, either, and suddenly having not one, but technically three men in her life doing all the things a dad should do? You can understand why she would--hell, why you would...

He dropped his arms and you could see the beginnings of tears clump in his beautiful eyelashes, heavy weights of emotion settling deep in his chest.

He looked up at the ceiling, trying to blink the tears away. God, he didn't deserve all of this. He didn't deserve this... this domesticity. Guys like him just didn't get to have a life like that. Not with everything he's had to do as a soldier, a mercenary... in Khonshu's name.

He didn't deserve such a beautiful woman, or the idolized gaze of her sweet and innocent baby girl.

'You're too hard on yourself, Marc.' Steven said to him in their headspace.

'Yeah, hermano...' Jake murmured.

"Marc, honey..." You say, leaning in and adjusting your position, so your head lay on his chest. You spread your hand over his heart, feeling how it hammered in the muscle of his chest.

"I just... What the hell did I do to get this?" He asked softly, bringing his arms around you to bury his nose in your hair.

"Well, I think it all started the day a certain little girl wiggled free of me and ran into a gift shop..."

Marc chuckled, squeezing you tight.

"Would you want us to?" He whispered. "Would you want us to stay? Would you be okay with that? I know it's soon, and--and I'm not saying we move in or anything like that, but..."

"I think it would crush Victoria if I ever shoo'd you boys away, honey." You assured him, tipping your head up to give him a sweet kiss.

You feel the tension slowly bleed from his body and his expression softens into a heartbreakingly sweet smile, his dark eyes sparkling with a warmth that you haven't seen before as your lips parted.

"Then we'll stay. As long as you both will put up with us." He said to you, his voice so quiet you almost couldn't catch his words.

"How do Steven and Jake feel about her calling you daddy?" You smile slyly.

Marc grins and drops his head back with a laugh, listening to the bickering of his headmates as his anxiety ebbed away.

"Oh... They're arguing over who Vicky is gonna call daddy next."

"We need to think of nicknames for you guys so she doesn't confuse you." You laughed with him.

Your laughter was cut short when you heard Victoria's door click open, and out she waddled, blanket clutched in one arm, Digger firmly squeezed into the crook of her elbow and her thumb was in her mouth. She only sucked her thumb when she was frightened, or severely anxious.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Marc asked, shooting to his feet even before you could, at her side in a split second.

You joined him and put your hands on her shoulders, looking into her drowsy and not-entirely-awake eyes. "Did you have a bad dream?"

She shook her head, mumbling something around her thumb.

"What is it, kiddo?" Marc inquired next.

She pulled her thumb out of her mouth with a pop.

"There's a bird-man in my room."

[undercovercameron]

a domesticated rafe cameron

summary: a bf headcanon for sir rafe m.f. cameron

notes: *NSFW NEAR THE END* i have been seeing so many headcanons for rafe as a bf recently and i used to do these all the time for other fandoms and people and holy fuck i miss and love them.. allow me to indulge myself. also a lot of these are not simply him being touchy or super cute positive ones bc he’s canonically a murderer and drug addict and felon sooo akdjdjd we all of course romanticize him but i just thought i’d say that. lemme know what you think !

tags: rafe cameron x reader

i think rafe is a very complicated kind of lover

he’s a complex ass dude as it is, so that obviously reflects in your relationships

your relationship probably started unconventionally, either because of a fuck up or drunken mistake or maybe even meeting him randomly on a golf course or on the beach and just immediately being drawn to each other

he wants someone that challenges him a Little bit but really just wants someone to go with the flow and let him take the lead

he already gets enough direction and bossy shit from his family

(probably a couple arguments have sparked because of that; he sees too much of rose or ward in you. it’s also something that draws him to you, though, so take it with a grain of salt)

on the topic of arguments, you two are no stranger to them

he always ends up apologizing though, even if you started it—he’d just much rather have your mouth on his than have it yelling at him and knows there’s always a way to get you back on his side

he’s a proud man, so his apologies are usually in the form of him complimenting you or giving entirely hypothetical situations in which he Possibly Might Be Sorry

you take it because it’s probably the best you’re gonna get

he shows his love and affection in a little different ways that other people you’ve dated

of course he’s no stranger to PDA

in fact it only puffs his chest that you want to be seen with him and touch him

he’ll never admit it, but he loves when you kiss his face

like duh,

but not just his lips, he really likes when you kiss him on the temple or just press your face to his cheek or peck at his jaw

he also likes when you hold onto his belt when getting his attention or trying to move him

a lot of your dates involve watching a movie or TV show, because truth be told he is a home body

maybe not his home, but def a home body

your house is a reminder that he is apart of your life; he sees the pictures, the movie tickets, his favorite chips (salt and vinegar, ew i know), or spares of toothbrushes and his clothes in your closet

in any social situation he is either looking at you, thinking of looking at you, touching you, or asking people where you are

he cannot stand to make small talk without his emotional support girlfriend at his side

you’re just so much funnier than all these other people

he prides himself on his ability to make you blush, and does it any chance he gets

he doesn’t really get to laugh a lot, as he is either in distress or about to get punched or reprimanded, so you’re always whispering some joke into his ear to get him to laugh. your success rate is much better than anyone else’s in his life

he knew he loved you when you grabbed his hand during a dinner you were at and some politician walked in with a very apparent and badly concealed nose job. you just mouth “oh my god” and he had to snort to cover up his laugh

you were also all dolled up and cute and sexy that night so that may have had something to do with him knowing he loved you

he is also a great communicator

it’s not in his nature to hide his feelings because they’re so fucking obvious on that expressive face of his

and he never knew he could have so much fun texting until you came along

now he’s a regular emoticon user

weird, right?

now onto spicy things,

you’ve never known a partner to ask you how you feel more than Rafe

it’s a praise thing, you think

he wants to hear that he feels good, that right there, that he fucks you so good, that he’s perfect for you

the nonverbal sign that all those are true is when you throw your head back and a gasp is caught in your throat

the very idea that your breath is stolen every time he does something good makes his heart skip a beat

his cheeks get very red while you’re having sex, so your cool fingers are usually petting them or pressed near them

you have a thing for his legs

i mean come on

he just walks around like that all day

he walks around with a dick like that in his pants all day, and you’re supposed to just ignore it?!

absolutely not

you especially like when he wears those hoochie daddy 5 inch inseam swim trunks, because you get to see where his skin gets a little paler and softer and it makes you get goosebumps at the thought of where it leads

those trunks are a treat usually, saved for a special occasion where he doesn’t have to be around his family and he can have you in his lap, hand trapped between your legs

let’s just say you two fuck like rabbits

two beautiful young adults, what else occupies your time?

it gets a little annoying for other people when you’re apart of their dinner party, because you’re always late, but then learn to just deal with it

it’s better to not have a sexually frustrated rafe cameron that accidentally stabs through his plate of rice and vegetables like that one time at the island club with your parents when you licked up a drop of lemon sauce from your chin and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head

decidedly not a great time or place to act like that

anyways,

i just think while yours’ and rafe’s relationship def has its ups and downs like all other relationships, your recovery period after an argument is remarkably high

you both know you’re not mad anymore, so it’s not worth it to be bad communicators and make it worse

at the end of the day, there’s always space for you in his bed, and he always welcomes you with a slap on the ass and a whisper of “we’re totally fucking in the shower tomorrow”

(and yes. you do)

notes: i hope this doesn’t seem to scatterbrained, i may or may not end up adjusting or editing this later to be closer to what i think would be him

[ficnation]

Chapter 3: Splattered Brains

Series: “Eat Your Heart Out” Pairing: Hannibal Lecter x Female! Reader x Will Graham Word count: 4,6k+ Warnings: canon-typical warnings A/n: Plot twist—I couldn't wait. Enjoy it, my darlings. (unedited)

Main Masterlist || Hannibal Masterlist

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Will looks through the peephole before opening the door, his entire body tense. He glances back at you apologetically, and you know he wants to continue where you left off. You want more too, but you understand—there’s the world outside, with its mysteries and its demands, and you both have to confront it.

The woman on the other side of the door is someone you don’t really recognize. Her face rings a bell somewhere in the back of your head, but you can’t say for sure you’ve met her before. She doesn’t seem like a person that would linger in your memory for long.

“Will,” the woman acknowledges him, red lips pressed into a thin line.

“Alana,” he responds, his tone flat and devoid of any sympathy. “What brings you here?” 

Will’s face is frozen in a state of neutrality, neither annoyed nor pleased by the woman’s presence—it’s impassive. A tiny part of you wonders if he’s ever looked at you with this much disinterest.  You know he doesn’t have it in him, he loves you with his entire being, but the idea makes a sour grimace crawl onto your face.

There’s no happy greeting between them, and it’s selfishly comforting even though it shouldn’t be. You don’t know her at all, yet she seems to be the polar opposite of what you stand for. 

Alana’s eyes flit across the room, landing on you for the first time, and as her gaze lingers, she raises her eyebrow. Her face has a timeless quality, sharp angles, and beautiful, expressive eyes. But something about her doesn’t sit right with you. That look she sends you as if she’s inspecting you, trying to analyze you—you hate it.

“Don’t ask me that question when you already know the answer to it,” she says, her tone just as cold and detached as Will’s. “I’m here for a reason, Will. And the less you drag this out, the better.”

You notice Will’s fists clench at her words, you take his hand in yours, dragging the pads of your fingers across his white knuckles. He relaxes under your soothing touch. You take a step closer to him, pressing yourself against his shoulder.

“Just get to your point,” Will says, his coldness making the situation all the more tense. “What do you want from me?”

Alana stares at your entwined hands then her eyes meet yours again, and Will notices how her attention is immediately pulled solely to you—as if everything else is bathed in a thick fog. You notice how her lips slowly curve downward, just a bit. You think she might be envious.

She bites the inside of her cheek, proving you right. She’s jealous. You can’t help but smirk at this realization. Will glances at you, asking wordlessly for an explanation, because whatever game this is, he’s clearly not in the loop. You don’t give him what he wants this time.

“I will give you some privacy then,” you suggest, whistling at the dogs to follow you outside. You don’t have to call for them twice, as they run toward the door, waggling their tails. “Just don’t take too long. I don’t want to keep Crawford waiting.”

Before Will can object, the dogs dash out the door, and you follow in their steps, shutting it behind you. You know you did the right thing by giving them some space. How she treated Will was unforgivable, but he has to fight this one battle by himself—if you stayed there by his side, you’d probably bash her head against the wall. Not today. This fight has to be his.

You look over at the door, and you think you can hear their voices through the walls, but you’re not entirely sure. After a few moments, the door opens and Alana storms out. She doesn’t even look at you, she just turns on her heel and walks away, leaving Will behind.

You lean against the railing of the porch, the dogs snuggling up against your calves for pets and scratches—something you never deny them. It’s a moment of peace in a world full of chaos, and you can’t help but enjoy it all—even the chill bite of the winter air. It’s refreshing after spending all night and morning with Will, whose body radiated so much heat, and who left you breathless every time he was close.

He steps out on the porch, and you turn to face him, confusion written across your features. The man only shakes his head, staring at her retreating back. You don’t pry, and he doesn’t tell. There’s a wordless understanding between the two of you already—he’ll tell you when he’s ready, and his emotions are no longer an overwhelming susurration.

Will takes his place at your side, elbows leaning on the wooden balustrade. Both of you watch in silence as Alana Bloom walks down the driveway, soon disappearing from your view. 

“You don’t like her much, huh?” you ask, voice laced with irony.

You don’t really expect an answer, so he only rolls his eyes. But there is a hint of sadness in them, a tiny sign of his own disappointment, at himself, her—all of it. He takes your hand in his and leans forward to kiss your icy-cold cheek.

He pulls away then, his gaze fixed on you. “We should get going,” he says quietly. “You don’t want to keep Jack waiting.”

And he’s right. You’ve been out here a little too long, and Jack is bound to be impatient by now. You’re sure he’s already called twice to ask you where you are.

Your cheek still tingles from the kiss, but you remain focused on the way Will’s expression shifts slightly. He’s crestfallen, there’s no denying it, and you know this conversation took a toll on him—even if he doesn’t want to admit it. He calls the dogs inside, then locks the door. You squeeze his hand, and with a sigh of resignation, the two of you head to the car.

The cold has gotten to your skin, and you can feel every pore of your body aching for warmth. The windshield is covered in a thin layer of snow, and your body shivers as you wait for Will to swipe it off with his glove-covered hand. Even though he already unlocked the car, you refuse to let him suffer in the unforgiving winter alone.

Once he’s done, he joins your side and opens the passenger door for you. The protest on the tip of your tongue dies off when he guides you inside with a steady hand on the small of your back—you comply. He closes it behind your back with a satisfied grin that doesn’t really reach his eyes. He gets in the driver’s seat and starts the car, warming it from within.

You put on the seatbelt, and relax your muscles, letting your fingers trail along the armrest and the door, enjoying the warmth against your skin. Your mind is wandering, lost in memories of the morning and the little moments you shared with Will. 

“You know…” Will starts from behind the wheel, his eyes don’t stray from the road ahead. There’s a quiet moment between you two while he considers what he has to say, and when he finally talks, he barely mumbles the words under his breath, “I was thinking…”

“About what?” You raise your eyebrow in curiosity, giving him all your attention and more.

“Well, I was thinking…” he pauses for a moment, the words struggling to leave his lips, he’s visibly tense.

You want to say something, help him find the words. It’s clear he needs a little push. So you reach up and caress his stubbled jaw—the lightest of touches—hoping the gesture can help ease him out of this nervous state.

It works. Will sucks on his bottom lip for a moment, still facing forward, but at least his face is calm now. “I’ve always been in love with you.” Even though it’s only a whisper, the confession sounds like thunder in your ears—its rumble shaking every tiny cell in your brain. “I never said it out loud until you disappeared. I regret it to this day.”

That’s all it takes for your chest to tighten and your heart to start hammering wildly. It makes you wonder if you’re on the verge of having a heart attack. You know you love this man—you know more than anyone else on this earth just how strong your feelings are for him. You were always aware that he reciprocated it—in his own intricate way, but there was no way to be absolutely certain. Hearing him say it now—gifted your mind with a blissful sense of peace.

You look at him, and you can’t find the words to respond. Nothing that comes to mind is even faintly close to what you feel for him, so you settle for a gentle squeeze of his thigh.

Will glances at you, his eyes roaming over the curve of your cheekbones, the shape of your lips, the long lashes fluttering over your eyes—you’re breathtaking. You don’t even need to respond—he knows how you feel already, and he’s just happy to have you by his side again. He’s head over heels, hopelessly and utterly—in love.

“I’ve never met anyone who made me feel the way you do,” Will continues, and the words ring out in the cramped space of the car. “Nobody has ever seen me the way you do. Nobody has ever loved me the way you do. You’ve been the only light in my darkness, the only source of hope in my life.” His voice softens with every word, and he doesn’t look at you as he talks, afraid he’ll get distracted if he does. He just needs to get it all out.

Your smile is so bright when he catches it in his peripheral vision—it could probably replace the stars at night. He takes a pause, and you wonder if all those words have made him feel better. It seems like that’s the case—he looks so much more peaceful next to you, no longer tense from holding in everything he felt.

Will chuckles, and it fills the air with a different kind of light that washes over you and makes you feel just a bit warmer. Just as you retract your hand from his thigh, his own reaches past the center console, his palm grazing your knee to find it again. He interlaces his fingers with yours, and you think you’ll die of joy, and you wish the drive in the car never had to end—you could stay like this, his hand clasped tightly to yours, forever.

Silence falls between the two of you, but you’re so close to each other that it feels like there’s no need to speak. The tension in the car is gone, and Will’s words still linger in your mind. I’ve always been in love with you…

You’re so caught up in this elation, you don’t even notice when you reach your destination. The brutalist architecture of BAU’s building makes you feel intimidated—more than you anticipated. It’s cold, uninviting. There’s also another feeling that crawls over your skin, a sense of dread, but you shake it off before it can completely take over.

Will pulls into a parking spot, turns off the engine, and faces you. “We’re here,” he says, a grim expression on his face. It’s so different from how you just saw him a mere moment ago.

You share that expression. You feel it on your face, the weight of it pressing down on your soul as you slowly realize that you’ll need to step away from the bubble of happiness you’ve been in. It’s not a bubble you would ever want to pop—so you have to leave it behind. Shut it off.

You take in the headquarters’ exterior, its harsh outlines, and the shadows it casts on the already grim streets of Quantico. Your stomach sinks. There’s a part of you that missed this place, being in the field and helping people—it used to be your dream—but now you despise it. You don’t want to go back to seeing dead bodies over and over again, hearing the murmur of their whispers that never disturb the air and never leave you in silence for too long.

“I’ll take you inside,” Will offers, but you don’t really have a say in it either way. Of course, he notices the solemnity on your face. He puts his hand on your cheek, the skin of your cold face against his warm palm warming you for a brief moment. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you answer simply. You don’t have to say anything more.

Will gently caresses your jaw, thumb brushing softly against your lower lip. His eyes are filled with concern for you. He nods slowly, his hand still on your cheek. You can’t even explain what you’re feeling right now, but he understands as much—he’s been there too.

“I know it’s not easy,” Will says softly. “But I’m sure Crawford won’t keep you there long.”

You’re about to voice your doubts, the million reasons as to why this is a terrible idea, but then you pause. You can’t seem to find them—there is no single coherent thought in your head, the stress of the day finally taking its toll on you.

Will sighs and pulls away, leaving his hand hanging in the air for a while before he finally rests it on his own thigh. He climbs out of the car, and you take a few deep breaths to try to quiet the voices inside your head. You don’t know what you need, you just know that you don’t want this.

You step out, and the silence between the two of you doesn’t go unnoticed. Will reaches out to you once again and puts a hand on your shoulder, as if he can’t decide what to do, either. He looks over your shoulder—at the towering building in the distance.

The man sighs and steps closer to you. He looks at you, eyes roaming over your face, scanning every single detail of your expression. His voice is soft, almost a whisper. “I know it doesn’t feel right being back here,” he says, his hands still resting gently on your shoulders. “But I need you to be strong, for just a few minutes. Okay? This might be important.”

You nod, willing to do anything for him—anything at all. The deep breath you take in almost makes your lungs flutter in outrage.

“That’s my girl,” he says, his voice a little softer than usual.

He pulls away finally but doesn’t let go of you entirely. His hand holds tight to your fingers, and Will starts to walk you toward the building. It’s cold, windy, and you’re not looking forward to a single second of being inside that building. You’d much better prefer to freeze here outside—maybe turn into an ice sculpture if you’re lucky.

There is an undeniable uneasiness in Will’s expression as he opens the big doors and ushers you inside. It’s a big lobby, and every person there is busy with tasks, on the phone, typing something or other away on their computers.

You see Crawford sitting on one of the couches in a corner that almost resembles a waiting room. He glances at Will, and his expression only hardens upon seeing you two together. You want to run away, but Will has a grip on your arm and doesn’t let go.

“Come with me,” Crawford says to you, his tone stern and a little annoyed, probably by the fact you’re twenty minutes late. “We need to have a long conversation.”

You share an unsure look with Will, he nods encouragingly.  You feel his hand gripping yours, and you notice how shaky you are. For a moment, you wonder what the hell you’ve signed yourself up for by coming here.

Crawford heads for the nearest elevator, not waiting for you to catch up with him. His attitude is clear—he’s annoyed, and he wants results. That’s how it’s always been, but you never got the chance to get used to it.

“I will be here when you come back,” Will promises, tentatively releasing you from his hold.

You nod in acknowledgment before following after your former boss with hurried footsteps.

It’s a tense, uncomfortable, and entirely too silent ride up to the top floor. The lights are bright, almost blinding, as the elevator rises. Crawford stands by your side, arms crossed over his chest, face expressionless. You wonder what he even needed you here for.

He walks ahead of you and takes out a keycard from one of his pockets. A moment later, he uses it to open a door in the hallway, revealing a large office. The lights inside are dim, almost cozy, and the view from the large windows is one you recognize. Crawford heads inside, telling you to follow with an exasperated sigh.

“They moved your office two more doors down the hallway,” you notice, looking around in curiosity. You hope your poor attempt at loosening the atmosphere works, even just a bit.

Once Crawford chuckles at your words, you know you succeeded. “You’ve always looked for distraction, haven’t you?”

He takes a seat behind his desk and motions for you to do the same. He spends a few moments looking you up and down with a blank expression, the kind he usually reserved for suspects at interrogation.

“Have I changed that much?”

Crawford shakes his head, a grin forming on his lips. “Not really.” He sighs and leans back in his chair, taking in the view from the nearby window. “Though you look older than I remember.”

“It’s been long eight years,” you admit with a nod. You don’t even want to think about all the new wrinkles that materialized on your face through those years.

His eyes travel over the length of your arms, and then over your face again. “I can see time’s been hard on you,” he says. You know he’s not referring to your physical appearance, and that’s what stings the most. “You haven’t had it easy, have you?”

“I managed.” You don’t give him more than that. The stories of your suffering are yours to tell when you feel ready—and you don’t.

Crawford’s lips narrow as he considers your response. He doesn’t seem to be one who accepts “I managed” as an answer. Then again, he’s never been the patient type. You’re surprised when he doesn’t question you further on the matter.

He leans forward to grab a folder from inside his drawer. “I brought you here because I wanted to talk to you about Hannibal Lecter.”

You sit up straight and lean forward in your chair. Your eyes, bright and curious, are fixed on Crawford, who seems to notice it.

“You seem interested,” he says in the same neutral tone as always. He opens the folder and starts flipping through the pages. Then, he sets the folder down and looks straight at you. “I’m here to ask you a question,” Crawford says, “and I want you to think very hard about your answer before you say it.”

The room is quiet, still, and your heart is beating frantically in your chest. The silence stretches on, and it’s so loud you can practically hear it. 

“Do you believe the Chesapeake Ripper murdered your father’s killer?”

You study Jack for a moment, noticing the gleam in his dark eyes, and the way he focuses entirely on your response. You weigh your options—you can deny it and trust that Will already has a plan to catch Hannibal, or you can tell the truth and hope your former boss doesn’t consider you delusional.

“Yes, or no?” Crawford urges you, his tone sharp. It takes all your willpower not to answer right away.

“I do,” you blurt out finally with a resigned sigh. “I think he did it.”

The man nods slowly, his lips pressed together in thought. He doesn’t seem surprised by what you told him—it almost makes you wonder how much he already knows.

“Do you have any proof?” he asks. That’s the million-dollar question, and you know your former boss isn’t asking it just to make conversation. “Do you have anything to support your claim?”

“I wasn’t allowed near the evidence.”

“Don’t bullshit me.”

You feel your stomach twisting into knots for a second, but you remain calm. Crawford is not the kind of man you can lie to, so you take a breath and say what you have to say, the words spilling out of your mouth on their own.

“I know it sounds crazy,” you admit, “and I can’t say that I expected you to believe me. But I know I’m right about this.” You can feel Crawford judging you with his relentless gaze, so you continue, “He lost far too much blood, yet there was no sign of it pooled around him. Not the amount he’s lost. It’s almost as if it was drained out of him.”

Crawford only nods. He doesn’t look at you like you’re crazy—he looks at you like he’s studying a puzzle. He considers your words, staring at your face, his expression still and unchanging. Your words feel like they’re bouncing in the air, waiting for a response, for something that isn’t silence.

“And you’re sure there’s no other plausible explanation for it?” his tone is curious, interested.

Your heartbeat quickens as you shake your head back and forth. “No, that’s impossible.”

He’s intrigued now. The man doesn’t say a word, but you can tell from the way he looks at you. Crawford looks like he almost believes you. He’s interested, alright—very interested.

“Do you think it was Hannibal?” he asks. You notice the change in his tone, and you know a yes or no response will not be enough for Crawford this time. He needs the answer to satisfy his curiosity.

He has an aloof expression on his face, the kind that never truly gives away his thoughts. It keeps you hanging in uncertainty, because you have no idea what you should tell him that could possibly sate that curiosity.

“I believe Will.” Your answer is short, devoid of anything he was hoping for.

Crawford doesn’t seem to like that answer, at least by the way his eyes narrow and the way his lips tighten into a thin line. Then, after a momentary pause, he leans forward in his chair, his elbows resting on his desk.

“And what’s this belief based on?” he asks, his tone demanding, almost a challenge. He’s expecting you to tell him, to give him a reason to believe you.

“He’s not insane, Jack.”

“What makes you think he’s sane?”

You don’t hesitate when you give your answer this time. “Because I know him.”

You notice his eyes studying you once again, his gaze not stopping on any detail of your face. He doesn’t comment on what you just told him, and doesn’t tell you whether he believes you or not. Instead, he leans back in his chair once again and sighs. He lets his fingers tap against the wood of the table for a moment, a small sound in the quiet office.

“Your father’s case will be reopened. Be prepared to be questioned again,” he says, his voice very much like the Crawford you know. “Now I need you to answer me one last question.”

“What is it?” You tilt your head, you almost look curious, as if whatever he wants to ask isn’t something that worries you. It’s a carefully built facade, and you hope he doesn’t see straight through it.

It’s an uncomfortable few moments, as Crawford takes a break from his tapping to look straight at you with those intense eyes. The wait is almost killing you—but the tension in his expression might be even more deadly. He’s thinking deeply, and whatever he’s just figured out isn’t anything that you would like to be privy to.

“I want to offer you a deal,” is all he says. He leans back, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What deal?”

Crawford takes a deep breath as if he’s been holding it in for the better part of his life.

“I want you to go back to BAU.”

“No.”

He blinks, completely caught off guard by your response. You didn’t think saying no would be that easy. He pauses before his lips form a firm line. 

“That wasn’t a request,” he says.

“Well, you can’t really force me.” You shrug your arms—not even slightly moved by the intimidating raise of his eyebrow.

“Actually, I can.”

The air around you changes. You can feel the meaning behind his threat like a heavy weight, pressing down on your skin, suffocating you. You go to breathe, but find that the air is suddenly too thin, that it’s like breathing underwater. The world around you buzzes like a lightbulb before it explodes.

You can hear the screams of your sister, her wretched sobs, her desperate begging for you to stop. The buzzing gets louder—the image of your father’s body sliding down the wall as his brains splattered over the flowery wallpaper burns alive in your mind. 

You blink once, then twice, making sure there’s no suspicion nor satisfaction on Crawford’s face. There isn’t and relief washes over you like a wave—one that���s perfect for surfing.

“You can’t.”

Crawford’s face contorts, his lips twisting into a frown. He eyes you carefully. You can tell his mind is racing, trying to come up with something to make you join his team. There’s a heavy silence between the two of you as if you could hear a pin drop. You wait carefully with your breath bated and watch your former boss, waiting to see what he’ll do.

“Do you want your sister’s case solved or not?” he taunts. So that was his leverage over you. 

It’s almost jarring to hear him mention her, to see him play this card. You take a deep breath and keep yourself calm. His thought process was on point—you had to give him that. You’d do anything for your sister and to get rid of that stormy cloud hanging over your head anytime the room was too quiet or someone dared to mention her person.

“Yes,” you agree finally, “I want her case solved.”

“Then go back to BAU. It’s your answer.”

That tone of his makes it hard not to laugh out loud. You thought it might be that simple—a yes or no, two letters of the alphabet. That didn’t apply to Jack Crawford, it seems. He wants an answer, and he will get one. A smile curls on your lips as you consider how to proceed. You’d have liked to have more leverage in terms of negotiation, but unfortunately, you have none.

“Then make me an offer worth my while.” You cross your arms over your chest and wait with a raised eyebrow.

Crawford is still the boss you know and love, albeit slightly confused by your attitude. It’s clear that this isn’t how he expected you to respond. His lips curl into a frown again, but he seems to think of something suddenly.

“I want you to join BAU as Will Graham’s partner. You’ve worked with him before, and I need you on the team,” he asserts. “I need you to look at his cases from your perspective. You will have access to all resources we have available at the bureau. That’s my offer. Take it or leave it.”

You can’t help the surprise that colors your expression now. Working with Will again, and having access to the FBI’s resources, it’s impossible to say no. Now you might have a chance against the cunning mind of Hannibal Lecter.

You don’t even hesitate as you say, “Deal.” 

Crawford’s eyes soften as he hears your answer, and you can tell he’s glad you’re not going to give him a difficult time.

“The decision is yours, then,” he says finally. Your eyes meet his. “Will you go back to BAU?” 

You nod in response, showing him the brightest of your smiles. “Absolutely.”

[m1ckeyb3rry]

── THE GLASS PRINCESS // TWO

Series Synopsis: You wake up in a strange room with no memories, broken glass at your bedside, and a prince named Zuko as your only chance at figuring out who you really are.

Chapter Synopsis: You arrive at the Royal Fire Academy for Girls and meet your roommate.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Zuko x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 5.1k

Content Warnings: complicated relationships (strangers to friends to lovers to enemies to strangers to lovers to enemies to lovers), amnesia, alternate universe, lots of secrets and lying and mystery

A/N: oc warning from this chapter onwards ig?? i had to make up students for the fire academy so if you don’t like that then idk what to tell you except that you should probably read something else 😔 but even though jia-li and kaho are not canon characters their brothers are!! we will meet them eventually HAHA although i’m sure some of you might be able to guess who they are based on that

To His Royal Highness The Prince,

I have arrived at the Academy safely. Ty Lee and I were given leave from classes today, to allow us to acclimate to the environment of the school, but tomorrow, we will join the others in our year for lessons. I promise that I will work hard, so that Your Highness’s good name is not sullied by poor performance on my part.

If it does not trouble Your Highness greatly, and if it is not presumptuous of me to make a request like this, please feed Bian a treat when she reaches the palace. She is working hard, too.

Ever Your Highness’s humble and obedient servant, Ursa

P.S. Regretfully, I must report that I have still regained nothing in the way of my memories.

The messenger hawk that Prince Zuko had given you was a beautiful animal, almost draconian in appearance, with eyes like amber and a queenly crest of russet feathers. She had an enormous wingspan and talons so large that if you handed her a scroll, she would be able to take it between them and then fly away without waiting for you to strap it to her back.

“Woah, so pretty!” Ty Lee said as the Royal Falconer wheeled the caged bird into your room, vocalizing your exact thoughts at seeing the magnificent hawk. “I’ve never seen one so big.”

“Pretty’s one word for it,” the falconer said, shaking his head. “She’s likely the finest bird Agni’s ever seen. Actually, she was meant to be a coronation gift for Prince Zuko, but he came to the aviary the other day and told me to give her to you.”

You were so enraptured by the hawk that you almost did not notice what the man had said, but when his words registered, you immediately straightened your back and gave him an incredulous look.

“This bird was meant to be the prince’s?” you said.

“She was, but like I said, she’s yours now,” the falconer said. “By order of that very prince himself.”

You bit your tongue, feeling equal parts embarrassed and guilty about the gift. Although you knew he was doing it for his own reasons, you still thought it was strange for Prince Zuko to be paying so much attention to you. Even if he had saved you, what cause was there to give you such a grand bird? A normal one would’ve been fine. A smaller, more average messenger hawk was probably more fitting for who you were, so why instead was the finest bird Agni had ever seen sitting before you?

“Does she have a name?” you said.

“We don’t name the hawks,” the falconer said. “You’re her owner now, though, so if you want to, you can.”

You thought about it for a second. “Bian.”

The falconer wrinkled his nose, giving Bian a look that she ignored entirely, too busy preening her feathers to notice. You waited for him to say something, anything, but it took him a while before he did.

“It’s an interesting name,” he said.

“Is something wrong with it?” you said. “I don’t know why I chose it. I can change it, if you’d like.”

“It’s not my place to be demanding you change your own hawk’s name,” he said, bowing at you.

“Wait,” you said. “Before you leave — must I keep her caged all of the time?”

“It’s not really common for anyone to do otherwise,” the falconer said. “But I suppose she won’t go anywhere unless you tell her to, so it’s fine if you let her out.”

Although he was obviously hinting that you should not do it, you leaned over and unlatched the door to Bian’s cage. You weren’t sure why, but something about seeing her trapped like that made you feel claustrophobic yourself, like the metal bars were encroaching on your neck, like it was your flight which was restricted.

Bian did not move for a bit, and then hesitantly, she peeked her head out of the door. When she realized that she was free, that the door was open, she flapped her wings, and with a great gust of wind, she took off and perched on your windowsill.

“They should know how to take care of her at the school, since most students bring their own messenger hawks, so you won’t have to worry about her there,” the falconer said. “And if you ever come to the palace again, you can leave her with me.”

“As you say, sir,” you said. “I don’t know enough about messenger hawks and their care or keeping, so I will defer to your expertise when it comes down to it.”

“Good,” he said. “Have a nice day, Miss Ursa.”

“And you as well,” you said, waving at him before racing to the windowsill to admire the roosting Bian. She peered at you suspiciously, but when you raised your fingers and rested them on the space between her eyes, she did not so much as snap her beak at you.

“Be careful!” Ty Lee said. “Messenger hawks usually aren’t that friendly. They’re a postal service, not pets.”

“It’s alright,” you said, stroking Bian’s head, smiling as she closed her eyes and crooned at you. “I think she’s different. Well, at least, I don’t think she’ll bite me or anything like that. She’s nice.”

“If you say so,” Ty Lee said. “Though I think I will stay far away, if that’s okay with you.”

“That’s your prerogative,” you said. “But I’m not putting her back in that cage, so don’t expect that.”

“Sure, I won’t! Anyways, she’ll live in the school’s aviary while we’re there, so it’s not a big deal,” she said.

“Oh, true,” you said. “Do you think they’ll let me visit her still?”

“They wouldn’t stop you. How else would you send letters? Although, I can’t really understand why Zuko even gave you a hawk in the first place. Who are you going to be writing to?” she said, picking her bag in one hand and yours in the other.

“I think he wanted me to write to him,” you said, whistling at Bian, who whistled back before she realized you were actually calling her, at which she rustled herself alert. “Bian, do you know where the Royal Fire Academy is? That’s where we’re going. You can either come with us or fly there on your own.”

Bian cocked her head before diving back into her cage, landing on the perch and tucking her head under her wing. You glanced at Ty Lee, who shrugged, obviously as confused as you were.

“I guess I won’t close the door, but if she wants to be in there of her own volition, then I can’t take the decision from her,” you said.

“At least it’ll be easier to take her to the academy,” Ty Lee said. “Speaking of which, we should hurry up and go — I think the carriage driver is waiting for us.”

The carriage was covered in gold and brandished with the emblem of the Fire Nation. A dragon moose was in the harness, dozing off, its ears drooping lazily as it napped. The driver himself was in a similar state, resting his chin in his hands, his hat low over his head to protect him from the sun.

“Sorry we’re so late!” Ty Lee chirped at him. He awoke in a flurry of flailing limbs, looking around wildly before letting out a deep breath when he noticed that it was just you and Ty Lee. “The falconer came to give Ursa a messenger hawk, so that took a bit of time, but we’re here now!”

“It’s not an issue,” the driver said, patting the dragon moose on the rump and swinging off his bench, taking the bags from Ty Lee’s hands. She relinquished them easily, watching as he put them under your seats in the carriage, and then she turned to you.

“Give him Bian’s cage, so that he can put her in there as well,” she said.

“He won’t put her under the seat, right?” you fretted, gripping the bars of the open cage.

“Of course not, silly! He’ll just put her on the carriage floor or something, and we’ll have to sit around her,” she said.

“Okay, if you say so,” you said. “Sir Driver, please take the utmost of care with Bian when you put her away.”

“You don’t have to be that formal with him,” Ty Lee whispered to you as the driver gave you a strange look before grabbing Bian’s cage, though he did gentle his movements when you frowned at how rough he was being. “He’s just a driver.”

“Sorry,” you whispered back. “I would just feel bad if I didn’t address him politely.”

“They’re used to it,” she said, leaping into the carriage once the driver had left and extending her hand out to you to help you in. You grabbed onto it and let her pull you in beside her. Bian squawked indignantly when you narrowly avoided kicking her cage over, and you muttered an apology to her as you sat across from Ty Lee, folding your hands in your lap and crossing your legs at the ankles.

“Is the academy far from here?” you said.

“Not by much. It’s a quick journey, since it’s inside of the volcano as well,” she said.

“Volcano?” you said.

“Oh, sorry, I forgot you wouldn’t have known much about that! The Fire Nation’s capital is inside of a dormant volcano, but of course, the entire city isn’t actually located in the main crater. Only the most high-status dwellings and government buildings are here; everything else is on the sides of the volcano, just because there isn’t enough space for them here,” she said.

“The Royal Fire Academy is included in that?” you said.

“It’s where all the children of the Fire Nation elite go to school,” she said. “Naturally, it’d be in here, too!”

“Ah, that’s sensible,” you said, for you hadn’t thought that through until she had mentioned it. In fairness, you also hadn’t known that the inner circle of the Fire Nation was located inside the crater of a dormant volcano, but then again, what could be a greater representation of the nation’s pride than the subjugation of nature’s own version of fire?

“It’s a very beautiful building,” Ty Lee said. “From what I remember, anyways. Nothing’s as beautiful as the palace, but the academy comes close. And the grounds…you’ll love them, Ursa! Even though I didn’t like my time there that much, I still have some good memories of just how amazing the gardens were. I can’t wait to show you around!”

“I can’t wait to see everything,” you said. “Is there a library?”

“Duh,” Ty Lee said. “It’s a school. Of course there’s a library. Do you like reading or something?”

“I don’t know. I can’t remember, but I’m sure that I’ll be much behind everyone else, so I’ll probably need to do a lot of catching up so that I can still get good marks. A library is my best bet at finding the information I need,” you said.

“You’re so studious,” Ty Lee said. “I’ve always just thought to myself that as long as I pass, it’s fine!”

“The prince has gone through so much effort to ensure my acceptance in the academy,” you said. “The least I can do for him is prove that it wasn’t a waste.”

Ty Lee beamed at you. “You’re amazing! I bet he’ll be really grateful that you’re so dedicated.”

“It’s good to hear that,” you said. “Besides, maybe it’ll help jog my memory if I read about history and science and other such things. According to Prince Zuko, I was a soldier before he found me, but I doubt he knows anything about my hobbies or preferences, so there’s no telling what might spark something in my mind.”

This was the true reason. Though it wasn’t a lie to say that you wanted to make the prince happy, your own identity was more important to you. The memories of the girl named Ursa, who she had been, who she had loved…you wanted to know all of it. You wanted to know who you were, not in anyone else’s words but in your own.

Ty Lee did not seem to judge you. She only smiled sadly before turning to look out the window, an obvious sign that the conversation was over.

She had been right; the journey to the academy did not take much longer than the duration of your conversation. You were there before you knew it, before you were really prepared for what that meant, but it was irrelevant. Your personal feelings on the matter weren’t important, because this was where you would now spend your time. You were going to be a proper Fire Nation girl, a lady, one who could rejoin society as someone that even a prince might be proud of.

Bian was carted off to the academy’s aviary before you could even think to wish her farewell, but beyond promising yourself you would visit her later, there was nothing you could do about it. That was because a tall, stately woman before you was now commanding all of your attention, her pinched face souring when she saw your plain clothes and meager possessions.

“So you are the Ursa that the prince insisted attend my school,” the woman, who must’ve been the Headmistress, said. “And here we have the infamous dropout of the academy, Ty Lee.”

Something about the Headmistress seemed to cow even the perpetually sunny Ty Lee, for she only ducked her head and folded her hands behind her back in deference.

“Yes, Headmistress,” she said. Following her example, you hoped you were doing it correctly.

“Yes, Headmistress,” you said.

“You two are probably the most sorry students I’ve seen in all my years at this institution,” she said. “You’re lucky that you are who you are and that you know who you know. If it weren’t for the royal family’s interference, then mark my words: you would not be standing here now. Neither of you.”

“Thank you, Headmistress,” Ty Lee said.

“Thank you, Headmistress,” you echoed.

“Luckily, two of our students still don’t have roommates, so there’s at least space for you both to stay. For as long as you can bear to, anyways,” the Headmistress said, the latter part of her statement pointed at Ty Lee, who did not even argue. “Ty Lee, you will room with Kaho, and Ursa, you will be with Jia-Li.”

You had been hoping that you would get to stay with Ty Lee, but there was only so much that you could expect to go your way. Although you had no idea who Jia-Li was, you hoped that she would at least be friendly enough that you could live with her without much complaint.

Ty Lee did not seem optimistic about the proposition of rooming with Kaho. Her sweet face crumpled, but she did not speak up. You wondered what kind of person Kaho could be, if even Ty Lee did not want to live with her.

“Yes, Headmistress,” you said, speaking for the both of you when it became evident that Ty Lee was far too distressed to say anything.

“I will show you to your rooms. You arrived too late to attend today’s classes, so you will be excused, but I expect the both of you to be present tomorrow. At this school, education is our priority, and special admission or not, no one is exempt from this,” the Headmistress said.

“Of course, Headmistress,” you said once again. “I am eager to begin learning.”

She glanced at you out of the corner of her eye before turning away. “Good. Enthusiasm is the first step to success. We’ll see; maybe we can make something halfway respectable out of you after all.”

The room you were to share with Jia-Li had a heavy, plain door, though two placards hung on it, the left emblazoned with the characters of your name, the right with hers. The Headmistress did not even wait for you to enter before marching off with Ty Lee, presumably to where Kaho’s room was.

You opened the door gingerly, cringing back preemptively in case Jia-Li was of an easily startled temperament. When there was no blast of fire in your direction, you stepped in, admiring the small room and getting your first glance at your new roommate.

She had long, silky hair tied in a ponytail with a red ribbon, and her eyes, which were trained on a scroll, were the same color as volcano-glass. The bed on the left of the room was clearly hers, as its blankets were messy instead of neatly made, and she was sitting at the desk by its foot. There were paintings hung on her side of the room, but the side that must’ve been yours was noticeably bare, likely in preparation for your arrival.

“Are you Jia-Li?” you said when she did not look up. She dropped the scroll in her hands and sprang to her feet, her cheeks flushed and her palms clasped together in apology.

“Yes, I am! I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you coming in. Are you Ursa?” she said. You wanted to say no, because you still didn’t feel very much like that was who you were, but you just nodded your head.

“It’s nice to meet you. I think we’re going to be roommates?” you said.

“Yes, they brought your things up just now. It’s nice to meet you, too! My last roommate left after losing an Agni Kai, so I’ve been living on my own for a bit. It’ll be nice to have someone here with me again,” she said.

“Do you get kicked out if you lose an Agni Kai?” you said.

“No?” Jia-Li said. “It’s just a dishonorable thing. She got so embarrassed she had to leave, but it’s not like anyone made her go. Actually, she lost to Kaho, so no one was even judging her for losing. Kaho’s only lost an Agni Kai once, and that was to Princess Azula, so it doesn’t even count.”

There it was again: Princess Azula. She must’ve been Prince Zuko’s sister, but everyone said her name differently. Almost reverently, though they never said the prince’s name like that. It was strange. You weren’t sure if you ever wanted to meet the princess, if she inspired this kind of terror in people.

“Sorry,” you said. “I probably should’ve known that. Actually, I probably did know that, but — I’m not sure if they told you or anything, but I don’t have any memories.”

Jia-Li blinked. “They didn’t mention it, but that’s good to know. Who are you the daughter of? They must be pretty distraught that you’re like this.”

“I don’t know. I’m not the daughter of anyone,” you said. “If I have parents or siblings or a family, they are lost somewhere in my mind, along with everything else I cannot recall.”

“Not the daughter of anyone? Then how’d you end up in the academy? It’s infamous for being selective and only open to the children of the nobility,” Jia-Li said. It didn’t seem like she was upset or scandalized by the fact that you, her new roommate, were just some ordinary girl — she just appeared to be confused.

“Actually, I was found by Prince Zuko while injured and taken to the palace to be healed,” you said. “Now that I am in a somewhat better shape, he arranged for me to attend the academy so that I can rejoin Fire Nation society in a proper way and understand what kind of world I am living in.”

Jia-Li’s jaw dropped. “You’re the one here on the royal family’s scholarship?”

“I didn’t know that was a well-known thing…” you said, rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly, stepping into the room fully. Jia-Li’s face lit up as you opened the bags Mai had packed for you and began to shake out your things to set them up in the room.

“Kaho’s been furious since she heard about it!” she said. “She’s always tried to gain favor from the royal family and failed, so to hear that a girl is coming to the academy that has the very thing she lacks has had her in knots.”

The name Kaho was familiar to you, and not just because Jia-Li had mentioned her earlier. You tried to think about where you might know her from, and then you realized that she was Ty Lee’s roommate, the one that she had been upset about.

“Is she someone dangerous?” you said.

“Depends. Are you talented with bending?” Jia-Li said.

“I’m not even a bender,” you said. Jia-Li winced.

“Then yes, she’s dangerous,” she said. “If I were you, I’d steer clear of her.”

“Are you a Firebender?” you said. Jia-Li smiled, holding out her palm, where a small flame blossomed.

“I’m passable enough. Certainly, I’m no prodigy, but I can do most of the intermediate forms, and I’m starting to try some of the more advanced ones, too,” she said. “That, combined with my brother’s friendship with Kaho’s, is enough for her to mostly leave me alone.”

“I’ll do my best to avoid her,” you said. “Though I don’t even know who she is, so it’ll be difficult.”

“I’ll look out for you,” Jia-Li promised. “Actually, my best advice would be to avoid people you don’t know in general. Most girls here aren’t that nice.”

“But I only know you and Ty Lee,” you said. Jia-Li nodded.

“That’s enough. Two friends is more than most people have, and it’s better to have two actual friends than ten false ones,” she said.

“How do I know that you’re an actual friend?” you said before clapping your hand over your mouth. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that.”

She laughed. “It’s okay. That’s a good question; one whose answer you will have to determine for yourself. However, whether you think I’m a true friend or not, you’ll have to live with me, so for both our sakes, I hope you come to a more positive conclusion. In the meantime, though, I have to go to afternoon lessons. I’m assuming you’ve been excused from them?”

“Yes, I have been,” you said. “I’m to start with classes tomorrow.”

Jia-Li made a face. “Lucky. You should try to get some rest while you can.”

“I already can’t. I need to spend some time reviewing so that I’m prepared for class tomorrow. I’m already starting off at a disadvantage; I have to do what I can to close the gap between me and everyone else, so that my performance does not reflect poorly on the prince,” you said.

Jia-Li looked impressed. “I’ll leave you to it, then. If you ever need help with your homework or studying or anything, let me know. I’m not the top student at the academy or anything, but my grades are decent.”

“Who’s the top student?” you said. Jia-Li gave you a knowing look.

“It was Princess Azula, before she left, and ever since, it’s been Kaho,” she said.

“Not exactly a person I should be asking for tutoring, then,” you said in defeat.

“Not exactly,” Jia-Li agreed. “Anyways, see you tonight!”

“Tonight? Is something happening?” you said.

“Yeah,” she said. “We’re sleeping. In the same room. As we will be, until the end of the term.”

“Oh, right. I forgot,” you said. Jia-Li smiled, patting you on the shoulder as she walked out.

“Bye, Ursa,” she said.

Once your things were unpacked, you thought about trying to find Ty Lee, but Jia-Li’s warning about Kaho still rang in your head, and considering Kaho was Ty Lee’s roommate, it would probably be best if you avoided that area overall. Besides, you didn’t know where their room was, so even if you weren’t afraid of meeting Kaho, you wouldn’t be able to find Ty Lee anyways.

You were just about sitting down to write a letter to Prince Zuko, telling him about your first day, when someone burst into your room. It wasn’t Jia-Li — you didn’t think she possessed that much energy — but it was still someone familiar to you: Ty Lee.

“You must’ve read my mind,” you said. “I was thinking about how I’d like to meet you.”

“Ursa, things are just horrid! My roommate is Kaho, and she’s just like I remember her being!” Ty Lee wailed, throwing herself into your arms. You barely had the self-possession or advance warning to catch her, and then the only thing you could do was awkwardly pat her on the back, looking around and wishing there was someone else here to help.

“Do you know Kaho from before you left the academy?” you said.

“Do I ever,” Ty Lee muttered. “She’s the reason I’m even friends with Azula.”

“How does that work?” you said.

“She’s insane, that’s how,” Ty Lee said. “Kaho, I mean. She was jealous of how much attention the boys at the Royal Fire Academy for Boys were giving me, so she challenged me to an Agni Kai! Mind you, I’m not even a Firebender.”

“I thought you could only participate in an Agni Kai if you were one, though,” you said.

“Yes, that’s right. She knows that, too. It doesn’t stop her from going around and calling one for at any inconvenience, no matter her opponent’s bending status. The thing is, technically, nonbenders are allowed to call someone else — namely, a Firebender — to represent them in the match,” Ty Lee said.

“Is it common to do that?” you said.

“It’s not really a rule that’s put into practice often, as most people wouldn’t challenge a nonbender to an Agni Kai — excepting Kaho, of course. Anyways, Kaho was the best Firebender in the academy, so no one dared to stand against her, even with that rule in place; no one, that is, but Azula.

“She agreed to be my proxy, though I think that’s just because she was annoyed with how Kaho liked to lord her prowess over everyone. Of course, she won, because she’s the most talented Firebender in the world, and ever since then, she’s been my friend,” Ty Lee finished.

“That’s great,” you said. “Though I’d expect it doesn’t endear you to Kaho any.”

“Not at all!” Ty Lee said. “And now you’re telling me I have to live with her? The Headmistress did this on purpose!”

“How can you know that? Kaho and Jia-Li were probably the only ones needing roommates. It was either me or you,” you said, leaving out the fact that you were secretly pleased that it was her and not you.

“Why didn’t she just make those two stay together and let us be roommates?” Ty Lee said. “I mean, really! Kaho leaves Jia-Li alone, something about their brothers being friends, I think, so they would’ve been fine as a pair, and of course we would’ve had so much fun together. But no. I swear, the Headmistress is punishing me!”

“What for? We just got here,” you said. She gave you a dull look.

“Well, I mean, I did drop out and run away to join the circus, you know…” she said. “It wasn’t the best look for the academy, that’s for sure. She definitely hates me for it.”

“That’s true,” you said. “You should just spend as much time as possible in my room.”

“Sure thing!” she said, like she had been planning on doing that anyways but was pleased to have an official invitation.

“I hope Jia-Li doesn’t mind you being here too much. Did you happen to know her, too?” you said.

“Not that well,” Ty Lee said, tapping her chin in thought. “But I think she was nice. I can’t seem to remember anything about her that particularly stood out, which could be good or bad, depending on how you look at it.”

“Hm,” you said. “She did seem to say that she was pretty mediocre all around, so it checks out.”

“Sounds about right! But forget about our disappointing roommates. Do you know what time it is?” she said, raising her pointer fingers.

“I still don’t understand why it’s that time, but yes, I do know what you’re about to do,” you said.

It was something like a ritual for you two, now. Every day, without fail, Ty Lee would jab you with her pointer fingers, always causing your knees to feel weak and your pulse to grow shallow for a moment. You always asked her what she was doing, but she refused to elaborate, promising that she’d tell you one day.

Not today. Not tomorrow. But one day.

To my dear Ursa,

You don’t have to follow such strict protocols and rules of etiquette when you write to me. I know that I am a prince, but in truth I rarely ever feel like one, so it is strange for me when you act as if I am royalty. You may pity me for saying it, but since I know you so well am your benefactor, I will disclose that the habits of my banishment have yet to fade. And in those days, I was never referred to by such titles, so please stop. It is especially strange to hear you calling me such things.

I am glad that you were given time to settle in. Mai told me she was not sure that the two of you would be afforded such grace, but we are both pleased to hear that you were. I hope that your lessons go well, and that your classmates are kind and helpful. I also hope that, if you cannot have Ty Lee as your roommate, you get someone who is friendly to you.

You needn’t fret about doing well in your classes. I am confident you will, and that you will uphold my good name if I even still have one. Worry only for yourself. Try to avoid trouble, if at all possible, but write to me if it finds you anyways. I will do what I can to help you. I will always do what I can to help you.

I gave Bian a treat, as you asked. She was happy. I give you leave to make requests of me freely. It is not a problem for me to oblige you.

Yours,  Zuko

P.S. I am sorry to hear that you still remember nothing. Please write to me if that changes.

P.P.S. Do not sign your letters off like that again. You are not my servant.

[astermath]

nemesis; part two.

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

summary: with carmen reworking the restaurant, you’d think his mind would be far too occupied to even think about anything else. yet he can’t shake the guilt from what he’d put you through a month prior. after some talks in therapy, he decides to take a leap of faith and see if he can talk it out with you. he not only wants to convince you that he can be better, but he's got an offer for you too. one you truly can't refuse.

♡ landing page ♡

word count: 4.9K

tags: carmen being unsure about his feelings but trying to be better episode 3265742, letting reader in a little more, APOLOGIES!!!, cursing ig, carm goes to therapy yippee, syd being the absolute realest, regular font below!

notes: sorry this took literally forever omg, I lost my carmen muse for a bit but we are SO back baby. I missed him so much and so sorry if some things don't follow the canon completely (I've been watching season 2 on and off bc I've been so busy lol BUT my fics never follow the canon completely anyways),, hope u guys enjoy and let me know if you'd like a part three ;))

lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list for further carmen berzatto related content! comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

Carmen’s life hadn’t known a moment of mental rest in ages. If you asked him when he last sat down with his thoughts or acknowledged his mental anguish, he probably would have said he couldn’t remember the last time. If ever.

With plans to completely revamp The Beef and everything that came with it, now his feelings should be the last thing on his mind. Renovation plans, unforeseen costs and a completely new menu, sure, he could worry his ass off about those, but feelings? Absolutely not. Good thing he was usually so good at suppressing those anyways.

So why was it that he couldn’t shake the thought of what he did to you?

Why, every time he had a moment to himself, would he be overtaken by this intense feeling of guilt? He didn’t even have to be alone, just a second of quiet and the image of you crying in distress would intrude on his thoughts.

It was getting to a point where he’d told his sister, Natalie, about it. Well, not all of it, he wasn’t even sure if he knew all of it. Just that he knows he hurt you, and that coming to terms with what he projected onto you might be a good first step in understanding himself better.

Or maybe it was something more along the lines of “I gotta talk my shit to some people”. Probably that.

To his surprise, it was actually helping. Besides the group therapy sessions where he’d talk about Mikey, the business and his future, he was talking to other people in his life too. Even told Sydney about you, kind of on accident. The words just seemed to… Flow out. It was probably the exhaustion doing its thing.

“I guess I just felt like,” he kept his eyes on the floor he was sweeping, “she was doing it all to fuck with me. I don’t even know where I got the sick idea that she had some obsession over me, but it— it drove me at the same time. It’s like her being on my heels at every aspect of culinary school just made me want to try even harder.”

“Maybe you painted her in that light because you knew it was a good way to keep pushing yourself.” Sydney spoke almost absentmindedly, sweeping the other side of the room. She listened to everything he said in the meantime, and though what he was telling her was a bit worrying, she was glad they got to have talks like this. Carmen often doesn’t like to bring up his past like that.

“Huh,” he paused sweeping for a moment, “yeah… yeah, maybe. Or maybe it was something else.”

Sydney wasn’t even sure he knew what he was referring to. It sounded like something entirely different, like a crush, but what kind of person treats their crushes like that?

Probably an overworked, pressured, overachieving culinary student with a dangerous need for validation. But she wasn’t about to tell him that.

“So yeah, I visited her restaurant, and… It just felt the exact same as back in New York, you know? Like she was rubbing it in my face again, and— and I know that sounds insane, or conceited, but I just can’t let it go. It’s like the thought of her is stuck to my brain like a stubborn piece of gum.” He wanted to smack himself for that stupid analogy, but what was said was said.

“So how’d you handle it?” Sydney’s head perked up, some of her braids now draping over her shoulders.

“Handle what?” Carmen became more and more uneasy the more he talked about you. Like his chest was tight, it was uncomfortable, but not in the way he was when the health inspection came by, it was different. Weirder. Unfamiliar. He didn’t like it, because he didn’t understand it.

“The talk with her.” She emptied the last bit of dust into the trash bag.

“Oh,” his mind took him back to the parking lot a month ago. The way he could almost taste the tears of your skin from how close he stood, he could hear the shakiness of your breath and the profound desperation in your voice when you apologized to him, when you really had no reason to.

If it was still so clear in his mind, then what must it be like for you?

“Carmen?” Sydney snapped him out of his oncoming train of thought.

“Yeah? Sorry, I— Uh, I don’t know it was…” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly finding it in his best interest to look anywhere else but her face. “Bad. It was— It was bad.” He looks a bit shameful when he meets her eyes. “I fucked up. I like, went all New York boss on her. And then I just… Left.”

His colleague just stares at him for a moment. She knew what he was like when he snapped like that, but that was with his staff, people he liked. So how badly did he snap on you, a person he’d been resenting for years?

“I’m gonna go take out this trash, and uh… Head home.” She lifts the grey plastic bag she was holding. “But uh, Carm?”

“Yeah?”

“You got issues, man.” She has a bit of an awkward smile on her face, but he knows she means it. He knows she’s right. She usually is.

He nods, silently, letting her words sink in. He did have issues, everyone knew that, but most people didn’t just say it. That’s why he liked Sydney, she was so real, so honest. She was so good for the business, for the kitchen. And maybe her saying that to him was all part of grounding him in the reality of it all. Of his issues, just that they existed.

“Heard.” he says. His voice comes out raspier than he expected, like he’s struggling to say it.

“Goodnight, chef.”

“Night.”

He’d thought about what Sydney said the entire night. He does have issues, he knows that, he’s just mad at himself for letting everything get this far before seeking help. It scares him. Because it reminds him too much of Mikey. Or what he heard about him when things got bad.

He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes his brother did. Lock people out of his life just because it seems easier, because it’s better to minimize the damage than to figure out why you’re doing damage at all. And yes it’s uncomfortable, yes it’s scary, terrifying even. But he keeps being reminded of how it must feel for you.

It’s something he’d never considered before. He always thought he had you all figured out, all fake smiles and backhanded compliments to distract him. It never occurred to him to just… Ask. It was always just easier to assume. It fit his view of you and it kept him going, even if it was at the expense of ever getting to know you at all.

He’s hoping he can change that with a few text messages and a long, probably uncomfortable, talk over coffee. Just hoping, trying, that’s really all he can do. He’s well aware of how bad he is at communicating, but he has to give it a shot. For you, at least.

He stares at his phone screen for far longer than is necessary, continuously rereading the messages he’d typed. His eyes keep flicking to your contact, making sure he sent it to the right person. The only thing you two had texted about before was a time and place for him to try your new restaurant. His heart aches at the exclamation points and emojis you’d sent; you were so excited, and he drove all that excitement straight into the ground.

He closes his eyes and shuts off the phone. His chest hurts, like he’s been holding his breath the entire time. Maybe he has. You could have that effect on him, making it harder to breathe. He always wondered why he had such nervous reactions around you specifically. He always figured it had to do with your one sided rivalry, but it feels… Different. More complex.

Your eyes are finally peeled off your computer screen when numerous phone notifications alarm you. Truth be told, you’ve been trying your best to keep yourself occupied as much as possible. That usually helps when you get waves of emotions like this, keeping busy, distracting your mind from overthinking.

Ever since your last encounter with Carmen, you’ve been so on edge. Always trying to do something, anything, so you wouldn’t have to think about what happened, why he acted like that to you. Because you know if you did, you’d just start blaming yourself again, and you’d be back to square one.

Your eyebrows raise at the name of the contact. You were sure he’d blocked you, or at least deleted your number after last time. He was avoidant like that, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you wanted him to talk to you again after that anyways. Maybe it was just to drive the point home, make you feel even more worthless.

Still, you were curious. Even if it was just to cuss you out even more, at least you knew what to expect, right?

[carmen]: hey, I really want to talk to you about what happened last time.

[carmen]: well

[carmen]: I want to apologise

[carmen]: but I can’t do that like this

[carmen]: I’d much rather do it in person

[carmen]: if you’d let me

[carmen]: meet me at odette’s tomorrow around 10? coffee’s on me, I just want to talk

[carmen]: please

The last message was sent minutes later than the rest, while you were reading them. He was desperate for an answer, and though you wanted to hear him out, to talk to him, something in you felt off about the whole thing. Like he was just doing this to clear off his own guilt, only to then ditch you just like he ditched you after culinary school. Because you’re rivals, apparently. That’s what you do.

But then there’s something else in you too. The part that’s still nostalgic about New York with him. About the glances back and forth when you were timed on preparing certain things, about the way he’d stare at you when you got feedback, the ignorant bliss you lived in. When you still believed he might have liked you just a little.

That part of you takes the upper hand when you reply and take his offer. Your heart is in your throat, nerves overtaking you already and you weren’t even with him yet. He had that effect on you sometimes, making it harder to breathe.

You wondered what that meant.

Carmen sits alone at a booth, all the way at the back of the café he’d chosen. It’s rather quiet, as most Mondays are, yet at the same time, it’s so loud. Loud in the way he hears the clinking of every spoon against porcelain cups, the crinkling of a napkin and the not so subtle ticking of the clock above the entrance. 10:06. You were late.

Suddenly he's filled with more regret than he's ever felt before. He's not ready to see you again, only to be reminded of how he made you cry, and of his own tumultuous emotions and shortcomings that lead to this moment. It's surprising how fast the emotions he associates with you changed; he's not angry anymore, he's scared, guilty, nervous. He wants to see you so bad and yet he feels like you'd be better off never talking to him again.

It's too late to make a run for it when you finally walk through the door. Hair a little damp from the rain, just a bit disheveled from what he could only assume to be rushing over to the café. And that same angelic smile you offer to the barista that greets you, the same one you'd offer him every morning, whether he looked at you or not.

He had no choice but to look now.

Your smile falters into something more nervous, a little melancholic, when your eyes meet his across the café. Though you knew he was going to be there, something in you feels surprised to see him again. Maybe it’s because he isn’t yelling at you or throwing insults at your head this time. Or maybe because he’s actually looking you in the eye. Since when did he get so good at that?

You sit down across him, taking off your coat and putting your bag besides you.

“Hey.” You smile again, much more awkward this time.

“Hey.” He returns the same thin lipped smile.

It’s quiet for a few seconds. Carmen swears the whole café has gone silent in that moment, leaving the two of you to listen to the sound of your own breathing and heartrate picking up. You’re not sure where to look, not being used to being in such an intimate setting with him.

“Do you want a coffee?”

“Sorry I was late.”

You both talk over each other, and the urge to chuckle about it overtakes you. Carmen can’t help but smile as well. You seem nervous, and somehow that puts him a little more at ease. Like he’s not the only one who’s in their head about it.

“Sorry, I, uhm, yeah— I would like a coffee.” You scramble over your words. “Please.”

“Sure,” he nods, “and no worries.”

“Hm?”

“That you were late. I haven’t been here that long either.” He lied. He’d been there half an hour early, cursing himself for letting him sit along with his thoughts for that long and psyching himself out into almost leaving.

You both order and another heavy silence sits between you two. You both know why you’re there, what needs to be talked about. Yet neither of you know how to bring it up.

You’ve lived most of your lives believing this version of each other you had in your minds. Because it kept you grounded. Because it was easier. He never let you in and for the longest time, you were at peace with that. You could have a slightly distant view of who he was, your classmate, your rival. And he could do the same. Keep you out, pretend you were there to keep him on his toes, to always try to outdo him.

Those facades of each other don’t work anymore. The real world has forced you to reconcile with each other, whether you liked it or not.

Your coffee gets brought to your table, and both of you feel this urgency to say something, anything, at least.

“The pastries here are good too, if you want to get one.” He finally broke the awkward silence. He can start with talking about food, something he knows. If all else fails, resort back to that.

“I haven’t tried a pastry besides my own in a long time. Maybe I could learn a thing or two here.” You admit. He knows that feeling. He’s not nearly as adventurous with his food choices as he wants to be, but as a busy chef on the brink of a new entrepreneurship, it’s usually beef sandwiches and frozen meals.

“I think yours were better though.” He takes a sip of his coffee.

“Huh?” You look up, realizing you were avoiding eye contact by staring into your cup.

“The danish I tried at your place. It was fire.”

“Oh. Right. Thank you, we make everything from scratch.”

“I could tell.” He takes another sip. “I guess I— I kinda forgot to tell you that. In the heat of it all.” He huffs to himself. “Food was so good it made me upset.”

“Upset?” His word use frustrates you. Upset is when they forget to give you your sauce with your order. What happened back there was not upset. That was rage. Wrath. You raise an eyebrow and he realizes he said something wrong.

“Well, more than upset. Listen, I— We need to talk about what happened.” His blue eyes peer into your own. They’re almost distracting enough to avoid you noticing his fidgeting hands.

“I’m listening.” You lean back slightly in your seat. You’d played nice with Carmen all your life, given him every chance to return it. Now it was his turn to try.

"Right." Of course he has to talk. It's his fault, isn't it? He's the one who snapped-- why did he even imply you'd have to explain yourself? He runs a hand through his hair, and there he goes again, eyes darting across the café to find something to focus on as he sought out the right words. You'd almost find it endearing, how bad he is at this, if it wasn't so important to you.

"You don't do this often, do you?"

"What, like-- meeting up for coffee?"

"Talking about stuff. Your feelings and shit." You hid your slightly amused smile behind your coffee cup before taking a small sip.

"Oh. Yeah, no, I-- I don't. Not until recently." He takes a deep breath. Just like they had told him to. “I’ve been going to this therapy thing my sister recommended. S’not much, but… It’s a start. Talked about the restaurant, my brother—“

“Your brother?” Your eyebrows raise slightly.

“Yeah, my— my brother. Mikey.” He looks a bit surprised. He’s come to the shattering realization that he’s never told you anything about his personal life, ever. You don’t even know about one of the most important people in his life, his main drive. You’ve known each other for so long yet you know so little. “I never told you about him?”

“You never told me anything.” You answer curtly. “We never really… Talked, you know?”

“Yeah— yeah, you’re right. I just thought… Wow.” He smiles, more out of shock than anything. He feels so stupid. How immature is it to be feuding this much with a person who doesn’t know anything about you?

“I guess I really don’t know much about you either.” His fingers rake through his messy curls again. “Makes me feel like even more of an idiot for going off on you like that. Like I had you all figured out.”

“Yeah, that was uh... That was something." The mood shifts a little. His smile fades as soon as he sees the melancholy in your eyes return. Of course it wouldn't be that easy for you to forgive him, to feel better about all this. "You know, I never knew you thought of me like that." A small smile graces your features. Somehow it's sadder than the expression you had before.

"I mean, I knew you didn't like me. I was pretty much at peace with the fact that you were never going to like me, either. But I never thought you hated me that much." You sniffle, trying your hardest to blink away any oncoming tears. "Like your life, your entire career, would have been easier without me there at all."

His heart aches at the sight of you, all teary eyed and trying to be brave. You're much braver than him. Sadness is a much harder thing to express than anger. He's starting to figure that out more and more.

"I don't hate you." He starts. He sees the confusion contort your features, and he knows he's not making any sense. "I mean I did-- I did hate you. Or, maybe not you, just... The fucked up idea I had of you. And-- and that was on me, that was my own fault." He feels an urge to touch you; to rub your back, hold your hand, anything to comfort you. It's tearing him apart to know that he's the cause of all this.

"But why?" A single tear rolls down your cheek, leaving a wet streak on your skin in its wake. "Why did you think that about me? I-- I get that we had a little rivalry going but jesus Carmen, did you really think I spent my whole culinary school career trying to outdo you?"

"To be honest... Yeah." He feels ashamed. So ashamed. He hopes the waitress doesn't walk by and listen to any of this, see you crying, and make you feel even worse. "Cooking was always just... My thing. If I was good for anything, it would be that. So seeing you do so well at something I'd started to base my whole existence around, it made me jealous, so fucking jealous." He meets your eyes, even if it's hard. You have to know he's being sincere.

"And it's-- it's unfair, it's so unfair to you, I know, and I'm really fuckin' sorry. I'm trying to work on myself, on everything, and I hope I can prove that to you." His face has that red tint you recognize whenever he's nervous or stressed. You can tell this is taking a lot from him.

"Is that really all? You were just jealous?" Your voice is quieter, fragile almost.

"I don't know. I wanna think it's that simple but I really don't know. There's a lot I don't understand about me, or you, or us. My mind doesn't know how to react when I see you anymore I think, now that things are different." He takes a deep breath, like saying that took a physical toll on him. "You have this-- this weird effect on me, and I don't know how to cope with it. I think it was just easier to be mad at you than to be anything else."

Anger is easier to express than sadness. The easiest out of all emotions, actually. Sometimes a little too easy.

You look to the side, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. You huff out something close to a laugh, and though he’s caught off guard by it, he doesn’t mind it. Even if you’re laughing at him, at least that means you’re not crying.

“You’ve got issues Berzatto. You know that?”

“Yeah. I’ve been told.” He smiles, and it’s heartfelt this time. Not nervous, or sad, or awkward. He’s happy to see you a little more at ease.

“It’s just really crazy to me.” You trace your finger over the edge of your coffee cup as you talk. “I spent so much time in culinary school looking up to you. And then I find out you were always just trying to keep up with me.”

Carmen’s eyebrows raise a little at your words. “Looked up to me?”

“Yeah, like… Your drive, your passion, it’s so impressive. Always looking to improve, to do better, it just— it inspired me to do better too. As cheesy as that may sound.” You smiled. “S’why I opened up in Chicago, you know.”

“Really? Huh.” He leaned back in his seat.

“Because I wanted to work with you. Or for you. Either would have been fine with me.” You sigh. “I like owning my own place, but… I don’t know, for some reason I always imagined us working together.” You smiled. “Is that stupid?”

“No,” he replied quickly, “no not at all, I— I totally get that.” He’s quiet for a few seconds, and you can practically hear the gears turning in his head when he stares at you for a moment.

“I mean you’re a remarkable chef, really, like— insanely remarkable, and, well, we’re revamping the restaurant completely right now. We need people— more people, new people, and so, I was wondering— or I’ve been thinking—“ He stops himself from losing his breath from all his rambling, before he freaks you out even more than he already has.

“I want you to come work for us at the Bear.” He puts his hands together, as if he’s about to beg. “Please.”

You can almost hear yourself blinking out of confusion. There’s suddenly no more loud silences, no, the café seems dead quiet for once. All you can do is stare at him, wait for a laugh, because clearly this was a joke right? There’s no way Carmen Berzatto, chef supreme, arch nemesis of yours, would want you anywhere near him, let alone work in his own establishment.

“I’m sorry?”

He feels stupid already. You had every reason to say no. He’d been the biggest asshole in the world to you, he’d kept his distance all his life, and now he expects you to be his employee. Or, well, colleague, more so.

“I’m uh— we’re redoing the restaurant entirely. New equipment, new staff, new everything.” He swallows; the thought of everything that needed to be done arises for a moment. “We need people that work hard, who know what they’re doing and who are passionate about it. And I barely know anyone who’s better at what you do than yourself.” He pauses, waiting for you to stop him. But you don’t.

“So I’m asking if you’d work for me. With me. It won’t be anything like old days, if anything I— I need to learn from you.” He scoffs at himself. “Could take a thing or two about how to communicate with my staff.”

You smile, and he genuinely thinks you’re about to start laughing at him. You chuckle, but it’s not mean, it’s honest. Cute.

“You know, you have great timing.” You grin.

“I do?” the smile on his face reflects the hope he feels.

“One of my chefs wants to take over the place for me. Well, has been wanting to. I haven’t had an exact reason to say yes to her yet.” You shrugged. “Guess I do now.”

“…Is that you saying yes?”

“It’s definitely not me saying no.” Your eyes meet his, and there’s something between you both that’s different now. It’s not like there’s a switch that’s been flipped. It‘s more like this conversation was the turning page of a new chapter.

“I’ll think about it. I want to see it first. Maybe talk to some of your staff.” Carmen’s chest strains a little when he thinks about you interacting with Richie. Then he’s reassured when he thinks about you interacting with Sydney or Marcus. You’d fit in well, you have great feeling for people.

“Yeah— yeah, I get that. Totally. I can arrange that. Uhm, we’re renovating right now, actually, it’s all really kinda wild, but if you wanna stop by, chat with Syd, or Nat, or talk about the plans, let me know. I’m sure they’d love to talk to you.” He’s not lying, you seem like you’d get along well with them. Especially Sydney. Your thinking processes are very similar to each other. And to his.

Carmen gets the bill, even though you try to pay for it.

“It’s just a coffee, just let me get this one.”

You let him have this one, simply because you can’t argue with him after the conversation you just had. You’re in too good of a mood after his proposition too.

He walks you to your car, hands in his pockets when you reach it. It’s cold outside, and his breath comes out in visible puffs of air. His nose is a little red, but you think it looks cute.

“Thanks for coming, by the way,” he starts, “I know you didn’t have to. Like— after how I acted to you. But— But I really do appreciate that you’re givin' me a chance here.” He’d always been confused about how positive and faithful you were in people. He never thought he’d be grateful for those exact features too.

“No worries, I… I had a good time. I’m glad we talked.” The keys jingle as you fidget with them. Among them is a keychain in the shape of a cherry, he recognizes it. It reminds him of how little you’ve both changed. And how much.

“Yeah.” He sighs. Relieved, almost. “Me too. But I’ll let you leave, might wanna tell your chef the good news.”

“Good news?” You quirk an eyebrow.

“That you’re selling them the business.”

“I haven’t decided yet, Carm.” You scoff. But he can tell you have, you look too excited about it all to not have your mind made up yet. It excites him too. Scares him a bit as well, but what’s a new chapter without a bit of tension?

“Right. Sorry.” He huffs. “Just text me when you wanna head over to see the place. It’s uh… It’s a work in progress, but it’s getting somewhere.”

“I believe you. I’m looking forward to it.” You lean back against your car a little.

“Yeah. Me too.”

“See y’around?” You unlock it and walk up to the driver’s side.

“Course. Uh, don’t be a stranger.”

You grin, leaning down to get into the vehicle. “Never with you, Berzatto.”

He watches you drive off, standing in the cold for far longer than any sensible person has any business standing there. But he feels good. He feels warm.

He thinks about what you said to him before you left. You were right, you were never a stranger to him. You were always like a constant in his life; whether you were actually present or not. And even if he didn’t know that much about you, which he was insistent on changing, you were never a stranger.

Never with him.

tag list <3

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[fuxuannie]

Darling.

I saw you write for hsr and that you're requests are open

I was thinking blade X reader general hcs???

Please I'm begging on my knees do more blade content(⁠ᗒ⁠ᗩ⁠ᗕ⁠)

* pairing : blade x gender neutral reader

* prompt : request ♡

* authors note : deep dark confession, i actually have no idea what blades personality is like n i have like a version of him made up in my head so pls if hes ooc, tell me about how he is like canonically WAHHH. (i also experimented a little with this style of writing! if you're into it, let me know!)

* brief warning : lmao its so funny that i always have this with blade.. blade is blade yes yes _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_

ּ ִֶָ ࣪✦ Where in BLADE seems so incredibly enamored and entertained by the General. (even if they planned to kill him, hes kinda into that though ngl)

— he likes to annoy you, you know damn well his presence alone gets you riled up. and honestly he finds it really cute lol

— even when he was already an escaping criminal, you knew that the knocks on your window late at night couldn't have been anyone else.

— "it's me again~" "get out."

— however, knowing you are the one reason he stays in luofu.. you tolerate it. you don't understand why hes so obsessed with you but if it meant keeping a criminal in control, you'll do it for your people.

— whenever he visits, its usually just one sided small talk as you're staring at him in your nightwear and sighing.

— "are you done?" "nope."

— eventually you start talking to him, cause if you can't rest might aswell do something in your restless hours.

— with each visit, you found yourself slowly opening up more and more. and he was also, quite literally getting closer to you. from only sitting on your window, to a chair, then sitting on the edge of your bed.

— you were honestly unsure on how to feel about this, because you knew the capabilities he was hiding behind that smirk. that really handsome smirk- wait what

— at some point, you were in insane denial of your feelings and wanted them gone. and so, one night you staged the ambush for when he'll visit.

— its seemingly going according to plan. the guards notice his presence within the darkness, but just as you expect him to get caught, he walks through your window at the exact time as yesterday, and the day before, and all the days before that.

— "i'm starting to think.. our fun is reaching its end." he'll say, leaning slightly out your window and looking at the groaning guards that were scattered all over the grounds of your home. each and every one were knocked out cold.

— you're trying to calm your racing heartbeat as he walks towards you, whether its fear or uh.. something else is IRRELEVANT!! he's towering over you, and you can barely utter a word out of yourself, you don't even notice that you began walking backwards, until your back meets a wall and you gasp. he slams one arm against the wall to trap you between him, a smirk on his face the entire time.

— "haaaahhh.. dontkillme." you say with a fearful tone, as he stops right infront of you and looms over you quietly. you're looking off to your right, and your heartbeat goes even faster at the sensation of his thumb finding itself on your chin, and his index finger right below your lips.

— he slowly makes you look at him, with how much time he was taking, it was almost teasingly. and the way he looked at you could've caused a HEART ATTACK. it was so full of want, like you were the most desired jewel across the galaxy, and he had you right in his fingers.

— he leans down, and you immediately stop breathing, he's so close that it's kinda scary but you're into it?? just as he's about to make contact with your lips, he chuckles to himself, pulls away and straightens himself once again. "you wanted me to kiss you, really?"

— you don't answer, but that alone speaks volumes. theres sound of chatter outside, mostly the yelling of guards, which makes blade click his tongue in annoyance.

— you're still kinda against the wall and trapped within his arms and his hand still holds onto your chin, so he pulls you surprisingly softly into a kiss, before breaking it and planting another to your forehead.

— "i hope to see you, and this time, maybe don't plan the death wishes of your guards." he says, bidding his farewell as he approaches your window. he salutes to you, blows you a kiss and disappeared into the night.

— almost as if it were staged, your guards burst into the room and immediately rush around and towards you in a defensive position, but you're not harmed nor seen with a trace of injuries or scratches across your body.

— "general? are you alright?" one of them asked, seeing you place your hands on your cheeks as clear disbelief was shining in your eyes. "i-i fear that the stelleron hunters may be here for far longer, i'll update you all if anything else happens. please leave my room, i'd like to be alone.

— once the figurative mist cleared, you walk towards your window and feel the cold breeze of midnight within your fingertips. you pull the frame to close it, before a small note falls through the cracks just as it shuts.

— it reads; "don't forget to not lock your windows.'

[grippingbeskar]

unearthed

chapter one - matched

warnings— canon typical violence, mentions of death, loss, injury, maybe a lil trauma

a/n— and we’re back! just over a year of having this account, and the end of season three, and i’m back where i started. thirsting after the mandalorian. i’m super excited about this one, and even though i think there will be a bit of a wait between chapters i promise its because they are going to be higher quality. also, obviously there will be smut further on (come on, it’s me. of course we are going to fuck him.) so no minors please!! hope you enjoy! big thank-you to @kyberblade for beta reading and saving me from my typos i love u.

also a psa. disregard season three for this fic. it fucked up my timeline so i’m changing it. things might be a bit all over the place, but it’s just going to be what i wanna do with it HAHAH no rhyme or reason :)

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You stared out into the never ending darkness, interspersed by twinkling hints of far away planets, all of them seeming more and more out of reach as you were shuffled out into the hall. Flanked by guards, the view from your room disappeared from sight, replaced by the familiar, safe walls of your palace. This was your life now— being shoved towards the known and away from those giant stretches of sky you longed so much for. Your duty, you say to yourself. This was the way you had to live, destined to the confines of your pre-determined universe. It is what you were born to do.

You knew this day would come. You were, as you were constantly, incessantly reminded, the last of the royal bloodline. After your parents early death, it left you as heir and sole survivor to the throne. All of your life, you had been trained for this moment, but it was something that was always so...distant. 

You used to look forward to this time in your life, where you’d get to travel the galaxy, finally earning some of that coveted freedom all the other girls in the palace talked about. You dreamed of seeing the galaxy, being unknown on an Outer Rim planet, going wherever your heart takes you. You thought you’d have time to live. But then, within the blink of an eye, you were rushed through your coronation and left to carry the burden of commanding an entire planet. It was like a rug was ripped out from underneath you, all while someone dropped a fifty pound weight over your head, all the while chiding you for stumbling over. 

In the wake of the Empire finally falling around the galaxy, planets all around the suns were scrambling— resources were scarce, trade routes were un-secure and stability was out of reach. This was the same for you, because the future of your planet was now in your hands, and you had no idea what to make of it. 

Unfortunately for you, stability in a woman’s world came in the form of a contract. Most usually, a marriage contract.

This meant, much to your dismay, an entourage of young, hopeful (and practically brainless) men arriving on your doorstep, all popping the question in hopes of securing the new Queen's hand in marriage. Your hand. You knew your planet was important and appealing, with its natural resources, expanding economy in spite of the Empire’s devastation, and an abundance of funds for all the newest technologies with the death of two of the greatest ruling minds of the time. Any leader of even a remotely nearby planet would strike on this opportunity— you know you would, if it were someone else.

The whole idea wasn’t new, but it still made your gut twist. Your parents were lucky they had something more– real love, and a home filled with the stuff of fairytales. While you knew this was rare, it made you long for that. Knowing it was real, that a connection like that could be somewhere out there for you, but you’d never reach it because you never got the chance to try... you knew you were lucky, but it didn’t stop your heart from longing for more.  You wanted someone to show you the stars, to let you be you, and not just try to win you like a prize or a notch in their belt. 

Everyone around you said this was the smart thing to do. Choose someone— anyone who would bring you what you wanted. Your planet, as fertile as it is, is not famous for its army. That was clear during the reign of the Empire, and now the New Republic was thinning their guard posts after the war, you needed manpower. You knew it was a necessity, and you wanted to keep your people safe, but to offer yourself up like a prized mare? You were a Queen, and you were planning to be a good one, with or without a husband.

As you sat on the throne, dismissing yet another suitor with a shake of your head, the collective group of your father’s– now your own Advisors groaned, and one walked up the steps, approaching you with a slightly bowed head.

“Your Majesty, if I may…” You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, only because you knew the watchful gaze of neighbouring planet leaders were on you.

“I have a feeling you will anyway.” He shook his head, quickly coming up the stairs to your side. He sighs, and you shrug at him. “What? He wasn’t my type, okay? If I’m going to sleep with the man, I should at least–”

“Your Majesty, this is the fourteenth potential match you have rejected. We are a coveted planet, but if you do not choose someone, we run the risk of having no options at all.” He says, looking down his nose at where you are strung lazily across your throne. He was still harbouring some of that anger from earlier, where you had refused to change into the giant mess of a gown the styling team had chosen for you. If the colour wasn’t enough– a pale puke green measurable to the blood of a Trandoshaan– the fabric was so expansive you would have drowned in it. You loved a pretty dress, but at least one that didn’t eat you whole.

“Would that be so bad?” You dropped your head back, and he shook his head, sighing again. 

“Yes— it would mean instability. We would be a target for neighbouring planets. We are strong, but not strong enough to be alone. The New Republic has already thinned their guards to a ghost number compared to four years ago. We cannot wait any longer. We are… vulnerable, without a strong army.”

“We can make allies without forcing me to marry one of them.”

“Of course, Your Majesty. We would never force you to do anything.” He says those words, but every syllable is laced with warning. You may be the last living member of your blood line, but no matter how important, and no matter how beloved by your people you are, there were some things that you couldn’t control.

The worst part was he was right. Sure, you could solidify alliances, but a marriage was a lock and key. If you picked the right one, your people would be safe for years to come, long after you were successful. After what you had seen of the Empire, what they had done here, and all over the galaxy, your people deserved safety. Freedom— whatever the cost.

Your love for your people would get you through this. In them, you saw your parents legacy, and the passion to build something greater than yourself. You would never trade this life for anything... but it didn’t mean you couldn’t have preferences. Just as you were going to justify why you rejected the man now sneering at you from the corner of the room, the doors burst open, and your attention is diverted to the messenger rushing in with a strange look on his face.

“Your Majesty, we’ve just received another request.” He calls, breathless. “I’m sorry to interrupt. It’s… I am not sure how to say this.”

The man is clearly nervous— avoiding your eye and instead staring at his feet. You rise off the throne and move to him, attempting a comforting smile and nodding at him. 

“It’s alright. Start at the beginning.”

“This request… It is unusual.” He swallows, and you laugh lightly.

“What is it this time? Don’t tell me the Hutts have thrown themselves into the mix.” You had nothing against them right now, but they were so… slimy. “Whoever it is, as long as they send a message in peace, they will be well received.”

“Well, that is the thing. They do not ask Your Majesty to receive them. They…”

“They don’t want to come here?” Already, you are breathing a sigh of relief. Anything to stop the constant parade of men flapping their money and stupid hair around.

“No, they ask that… they ask that you come to them.” He finishes, and your advisors are next to him in an instant, all attempting to speak over one another. You raise your eyebrows, surprised, but intrigued.

“That is an insult!” The man who challenged you before, known to you as Advisor Corell, spits at the messenger. “Her Majesty only receives guests— she does not travel unless there is cause.”

“Did they say anything else?” You ask, and the room goes quiet again as you step forward. The messenger looks uncomfortable, knowing there are still foreign diplomats in the room. “Everyone else, please go. You’ll be... informed of my decision later.”

The entire room exits quickly at the sound of your voice, all mumbling to themselves, probably still hurt over your rejection and blatant disinterest, but all you could care about was this new message.

“It’s alright. Go ahead.” You encourage. “What else did they say?”

“They asked for your hand, of course. They have a new King, and think the match would be beneficial to both sides.” A new King. Your mind buzzes, trying to think if you’d heard of any close planets going through a succession besides your own. Nothing comes to mind, but if he was new, at least this one would hopefully be closer to your age.

“A new King?” The messenger nods. “And he asked for me personally?”

“Ah... the message was not from him, Your Majesty. It was a hologram from a member of his court. A… Bo-Katan.” You had never heard the name before, but one of your advisors makes a noise of recognition and you spin to her.

“You know this name?” You ask Advisor Kaylen— probably your favourite member and the closest thing you have to a friend. She nods eagerly. “You’ve met them?”

“I have heard it before, but that would be impossible…” She fades off, and you turn back to the messenger. 

“This is the most interesting person I’ve heard of since this whole thing started. What’s impossible?” You watch the messenger's face twist, so you reach out and touch his shoulder, the contact surprising him and earning a disapproving hum from Advisor Corell. “You can tell me, just ignore him. I do.”

“Well, that’s just the thing. The planet they claim to come from has been long abandoned.” Advisor Kaylen was still muttering to herself, but you couldn’t focus on her anymore when the messenger finally spoke again. “They say they are calling from Mandalore, and that their new King has asked for you to be his Queen.”

“Stop asking me about that.” Din growled, stopping his swift movement through the makeshift repair station he’d been pulling together. “I’m not interested.”

“This isn’t just about you anymore.” The longer he spent with these Mandalorians, the more the thought of taking off with their precious Dark-Saber and leaving seemed appealing. “An alliance like this is exactly what we need. With all the repairs, we’ve run low in funds. We need resources— we need to outsource, and this is the fastest way to do it. She’s all but waving a flag for us.”

He never thought there would be a time when bounty hunting was the normalcy he craved— but standing surrounded by relics of his people long passed, discussing a potential marriage—he started to miss the reliable frame of the Razor Crest a little too much.

“Mandalore was built on the backs of our people. We can do it again, the same way.” Bo-Katan sighs, giving him a glare after removing her helmet. “Would you do this? Was this a part of your plan to re-take Mandalore?”

“They didn’t have a dwindling empire and economic crisis to deal with. If you do this, we can rebuild the way our ancestors wanted us to live. How we used to live. Welcome our family home. Isn’t that what you want?” He spins, taking two slow steps to face Bo-Katan, who stands with her helmet tucked under her arm. “To answer your question— yes. I would have. I was royalty once, and I know what this is like. And I would still do it. You might even make a friend in her, Din.”

“You aren’t suggesting friends.” To her credit, she doesn’t back down, just raises her eyebrows at him. “You are asking me to get married. You know what that means.”

“It’s not like that. Rulers marry for all kinds of reasons— and if she’s looking, it means she wants to take full advantage of this. It’s the smart thing to do. Her planet is powerful, but vulnerable. Their army numbers are small after the Empire’s attacks, and she needs what we can offer now the Rebellion is squaring off. Good, strong fighters. Besides, I’m sure you aren’t exactly all she hoped for, either. I wouldn’t be surprised if you hardly see her after the first few months.” Rolling her eyes, she turns back to the pile of spare parts they had dragged in from outside. “We’ve already sent a hologram inviting her here. If she accepts, you can discuss a potential alliance like adults. If you are still opposed, we’ll cancel it and try it your way. Until then, we have work to do.”

“Send another message. Say I’m no longer interested.” Din stands impossibly still, waiting for Bo-Katan to agree and leave before he lets out a long breath. Clearly, he’d misjudged how set on this idea she was.

“Just think about it, okay?” She turns and disappears from view, and he feels like he’s going to collapse under the pressure. Things were complicated enough— in the last month, he’d learnt his way of life was not the only way at all, inherited a saber he had little idea how to use, and dropped everything he knew to come back home— to Mandalore. To say he had enough on his plate was an understatement.

Truthfully, he had come back with one thing on his mind. The Way declared one could only truly be forgiven for their misdeeds in the living waters beneath the mines of Mandalore— and Din had a lot to be forgiven for. If there was anywhere he could start fresh, it was here, but before he could do that, he had to find the mines, currently buried under years worth of rubble and debris. The last thing he needed was to disgrace himself in yet another way— which is exactly what Bo-Katan and the other Mandalorian’s were suggesting.

He was not ready for this. Not in any way. He was not a ruler— not a born and bred leader, like Bo-Katan, and he’d never wanted to be. It might have made sense to an outsider, maybe. A new, untested ruler of a planet as economic as yours was bound to attract unwanted attention, and about the only thing Mandalore could offer right now was its ability to fight. It was the only thing it was known for.

He didn’t want to marry, though. Not for a political alliance. He didn’t think about it at all— not right now. He’d heard a few things about you by now— how your parents had passed suddenly, and how you were now being squashed into the same situation as he was, forced to play a role which you had no choice in being cast to. He felt as sorry for you as he did for himself, and he found his thoughts drifting to the Child.

Din looked around, exhausted at just the thought of getting this place into any form of working order. Spare parts to old ships scattered on the floor, and the room was painted in a light purple hue thanks to the reflection of the glass roof overhead. He stood, leaving the mess of a garage and walking back out towards the largest building in this city.

There were streets lined with cracked stone, several Mandalorians dragging and pulling equipment to replace the broken ones. They had been working hard— everyone had, including him, and the place was looking less and less like a war zone by the second. The sight made him feel easier. At least his home wouldn’t be rubble forever. Buildings were gaining foundations, others entirely rebuilt by hand. It had only been a month or two, and already this place was looking like he’d been told in the stories. Like home.

As he walked through them, he didn’t miss the stares of those who’d left their helmets behind, but at least that was familiar. Everyone stared, on every planet he went to, and even with the oddly shaped buildings, some spiralling high, others flat and long enough to park a few speeders in the front, he felt settled here. The cities were huge and spanned far into the horizon, too long to walk everywhere, so the Mandalorians had gone straight to work on the speeder parts, using them to zip around not only around this central city, but between other parts of the planet.

Finally, he began the walk up the steps of the castle. It was giant— bulky and boxed, rooms stacked on top of each other with seemingly no purpose. It was the most well conserved building on the planets surface, and it was what constituted as a home for Din. For now, at least. Either way, it was the safest place to keep Grogu during the day, and he would go wherever it was safest for him.

He could hear him before he saw him, loud chirps and gurgles coming from the throne room. One, giant looking chair was elevated by a few steps at the end of the room, and he saw a flip of green zip over Sasha’s unmasked head.

“Get down here, you gremlin.” She barked, but laughed at Grogu’s slightly worried face when he spun to a stop in mid air. It was then he finally noticed him, dropping to the ground and wandering over. “He’s been a little pain in my—“

“Patu!” Grogu chirps, and Din laughs roughly, bending down to pick him up. He holds him in front of his helmet, watching as his tiny hands reach out to grab his gloved wrists.

“Have you been causing trouble, Grogu?” He makes a little gurgle sound, like he always does when Din says his name, and he smiles under the helmet.

“Bo-Katan was looking for you.” Sasha says, putting her helmet back on. Most Mandalorian’s that lived around the capital did that when they spoke to him, now, even ones as high ranking as Sasha. Din doesn’t look up from Grogu’s giant eyes.

“She found me. And my answer is still no.” He hears her laugh, but when he looks up at her, she stops.

“She didn’t tell you?” Din turns to face her, letting the kid fiddle with something on his armour.

“Tell me what?” Unlike Bo-Katan, Sasha is a little afraid of him. Everyone is, especially since they had seen him fight with the DarkSaber when they first arrived on the planet. Since then, there had been a quiet fear, a commanding presence Din didn’t think he had earnt, but regardless it was there. She swallowed, tilting her helmet down to the floor. “Tell me.”

“The Queen replied. She accepted your invitation, and is expected to arrive within the week. She also implied, if the meeting goes well— she…”

“She what? What did she say?” Din had no idea why, but his heart was racing a mile a minute. Had she been insulted by the offer? Was she going to stage an attack?

“She said she would marry you.”

“You said I would what?” You shout at the group of advisors, all of whom look like they are about to scramble and run. And they should. “Who’s bright idea was it to send correspondence, with my name attached, without my go-ahead?! What the hell kind of advisor does that?!”

None of them so much as moved, except for Advisor Kaylen, who caught your eye, making a pointed look at Advisor Corell. You shook your head, and a bitter smile curled the ends of your mouth.

“I should have known. Corell. Get up.” He spluttered, stumbling to his feet as you dragged him up the dais, and forced him to his knees. “Was it you? Did you tell Mandalore I would accept their invitation?!”

He shakes his head. “I only said you would meet with them! Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“When I was ready!” You want to scream, but your embarrassment and nerves choke your throat. Yes, you were going to accept. Probably. Maybe a month from now... a few months, if you could stretch it. Not this week.

“This is a good thing! Now you get to go! To— to see the cursed land for yourself. To look upon its new ruler! I was only doing what I thought was best! They would have been insulted if we had rejected…and we’re running out of options.”

“The only one insulted here is me, that you truly believe I would buy any of the shit that comes out of your mouth.” He was on thin ice as it was, but your fathers words played in your head, and you saw the faces of your other Advisors in the corner of your eye.

Your father had selected this team of people because he trusted them, and for some reason, you did too. You didn’t know why, or how they were picked, but they were supposed to be the six people you could rely on. The six people who would challenge you, who wouldn’t blindly accept your decision like the rest of the planet. They were a tradition— to ensure the sanity of a ruler and the safety of a planet. You trusted them; or you would, eventually, but they would not overstep. Or at least, they shouldn’t.

“My father trusted you. It is that reason alone that I will let you continue to work underneath me, and forgive this lapse in judgment. But this is the one chance you will receive. I might not be my father, but you work for me now. If you choose to disobey me or do anything without me specifically telling you again, I will send you to Mandalore in my stead, and the King can have you in my place. We will see how far you make it in the ruins before he cuts you down.” They all scurry from the room, Advisor Corell not glancing back as he heads for the door after you drop him.

All that is left is Kaylen, who doesn’t need a title when it’s just you and her. She was a friend— perhaps your only one, so you only used her title around the other Advisors.

“That was exciting.” She says, and you flop down onto the cushioned throne, golden pillows softening the blow as she comes to lean on the armrest. “It’s been too long since we had some real palace gossip.”

“Well, hold on to that, because you might be shipping me off to marry a fish. He’s like a ghost— I couldn’t find anything on the King, and now I’m supposed to just…go?” You sigh, swinging your feet over the edge of the chair and letting your head fall into her lap. “This is insanity. This entire month has been suitor after suitor, none of them with armies strong enough to keep our planet safe. And now it’s like I don’t even have a... it all just happened so fast.”

“I know. You were right to reject them all. But this one is... it’s different.” You sit up, turning to face her.

“You think I should go?”

“Are you asking me as an Advisor, or as a friend?”

“Both.” The throne is huge, made for the large frame of your father, so she can slide right in next to you.

“Well, as your Advisor, Mandalore is famous for one thing— war. Sure, they have lost a tonne, but when they were at their peak, they were unstoppable. Feared throughout the galaxy. With our help, they could be that again. Even having the name attached to us would scare off any potential threats for a while. They are good fighters, they could teach our people ways we would never learn ourselves, and one day we could even be allies. Especially if this goes well.” She sits up when she speaks, and even though she’s only a few years older than you, she seems light years ahead. You understand why your father chose her.

“And as my friend?” She swings an arm over your shoulder.

“As your friend, I think you need this. I think that you haven’t changed a single thing about the palace since you have been crowned because you know once you do, this is real and your parents are gone. I think you know this is the right thing to do, but you’re scared, and you think that when you do this, you’ll finally be alone, and you hate that.” You’re thankful she’s not looking at you because you almost start crying as soon as she mentions your parents. “I think you know that this is different. That this could be a defining moment for you. For your reign. For the planet to come back after the Empire.”

“Why do you have to be right about everything?” You say tightly, and she helps you stand off the throne, leading you towards your bedroom through the maze of winding corridors.

“Just lucky. And, hey, don’t look so sad. Rumor has it he wears a very pretty beskar suit. All shiny and silver. You love shiny stuff.” She gestures at the hallways, all lined with golden and silver detailing. You nudge her on the shoulder and she laughs, peeling off before you open the door to your bedroom.

It was technically your parents room— the room you grew up in now vacated for your future offspring. You didn’t mind, using the room helped you feel a little bit closer to your parents. You remember all the times you’d climbed into bed with them, buried under the covers because you were afraid of the dark.

Kaylen was right. Corell was right, even if he was an asshole. It was selfish to not accept an offer. You hated that you couldn’t do more for your people, that all you had to offer was your arm, but if that was what you needed to do right now, you should just... suck it up. A Mandalorian, though. That was different. You knew they were feared, although scattered throughout the galaxy, and if their words were true, an entire planet of them would make you virtually impenetrable.

You couldn’t help but think about the King. Mandalorians were a confusing bunch, the few you had met, anyways. Very quiet, lethal as anything, and in your experience, solitary. Your mother had hired one years ago to collect a bounty for her, and he completed the four day job in three hours, arriving and leaving on his own, hardly talking if he didn’t have to. Why would someone like that want to be married?

Shrinking out of your outfit, you decided to try and get some sleep. If tomorrow was going to be anything like today, you’d need all the rest you could get, and for some reason, there was a racing in your heart you couldn’t settle. Maybe just nerves from the incoming visit to Mandalore tomorrow.

That had to be it. The myths, legends surrounding the cursed world— it would make anyone nervous. But it was just that. Nerves. It couldn’t be anything else.

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[simmerandwrite]

Sink Into Me - 04 - mob!Steve Rogers x plus size! reader

Summary: You were simply doing a good deed, pulling the handsome stranger out of the way when a car jumped the curb. Little did you know that the life you saved belonged to Steve Rogers, the Army veteran turned art dealer with connections to the Brooklyn crime syndicate.

Steve Rogers, who won’t stop calling you his guardian angel.

Steve Rogers, whose new goal in life just might be repaying his debt to you.

Steve Rogers, who isn’t shy until it comes to his feelings and will stop at nothing to keep you safe.

Chapters: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07

Wordcount: 7k

Warnings: smut (Steve is obsessed with you, okay?), drinking, drug use, canon level violence (series), body image issues (series)

Notes: Hey! Here we goooo people. Things are getting very exciting!! Thank you to everyone who has read the first few chapters - I appreciate all the interest! While I’m grateful for every single ‘like’ on the chapters, a comment or reblog goes a long way to let me know how you are enjoying the story :) I’d love to hear your thoughts and feelings and predictions!!! ( if you see me in the wild, i’m @simmerandcry​)

--

“Hello?”

“Hey you. What’re you doing?”

“Attempting to build some boxes but Herc just decided to nap on them..” You could hear voices echoing beyond wherever Steve was calling you from. “What’s going on?”

“Can you come hang out?”

God, you wanted to see him. To say you were falling for the man felt juvenile, but you couldn’t figure out any other way to describe it. 

The apartment offer had really sent you further into the depth of it - considering you knew you’d be stupid not to take the new apartment. But the fact that Steve had taken it upon himself to either come over every night until you moved, or invited you and Hercules to his place, or called you and stayed on the line until you fell asleep - how could you not be head over heels for the man?

You were trying to stay level headed and calm about the whole thing. Trying and failing, really. Because you knew that if you spent a few extra moments to use your rational brain, some things about Steve and his lifestyle did not align with yours even a bit. Despite that, you remained vigilant on the task at hand and decided that ignoring everything else for the time being was your best bet.

“Hang out?” You leaned against your kitchen counter, taking in your half emptied cupboards. Truthfully, you were tired of packing and had made a lot of progress already. Plus, you’d managed to take a few days off work coming up to aid in your apartment transition. “Where are you?”

“At the club. Can you come hang out?” 

You laughed to yourself. “Shield is open on Tuesday nights?”

“For the owner, it’s always open.” Steve’s voice grew softer, quieter. “I want to see you, baby. Please?”

You were falling hard.

 --- 

At first, you were relieved that your landlord agreed to your quick release from your agreement - but it barely left you with enough time to pack and get your shit together. 

Now that your week was over and your life was mostly packed away into boxes, you could see the exciting next steps occurring. Steve had arranged a few people to help you move, you had a whole new apartment to decorate, and your mom was coming to visit at the end of your week off. Those were all promising, exciting things.

With a final over dramatic sigh, you flopped down on your bed and reached for your phone. Your entire night had been consumed by packing up your bedroom and you’d been desperately waiting to hear something from Steve. Anything would do, really.

You hadn’t seen him since earlier that week when you had ventured to see him at the club. What you had pictured as a quiet little evening with him had actually been much more - considering you showed up and it seemed like his entire close circle of friends were at the bar too. Though they kept their work related talk clipped and quiet, you had a feeling those sorts of evenings weren’t all that rare.

Everyone you met had been very friendly, at least. It was a bit intimidating to walk in and have to meet so many new faces, but you had a feeling this was a rare occurrence - Steve bringing in someone for them to get familiar with.

You could see it especially in the way he blushed at Sam and Bucky’s commentary and in the way he kept a protective hand on you as you sat at the bar and talked with Nat, who described herself as Steve’s ‘real right hand woman’ and Yelena, who managed bar operations at the club. When Kate showed up and saddled up beside her girlfriend Yelena, you could see Steve’s shining grin as you filled Kate in on your dreams to open an animal rescue in the future.

It was nice. But you had secretly been hoping for some time with just Steve.

For a reason you couldn’t quite pinpoint, you and Steve still hadn’t escalated the physical side of things beyond making out. Even when you woke up in bed together with his very obvious morning excitement, attempts to go just a bit further always fell away. 

It didn’t make much sense - beyond the physical signs, Steve’s words were often flirty and edging well beyond appropriate language. 

Unfortunately, as much as you could rationalize the pace, it was really making an impact on your sanity and self-esteem. Maybe Steve just wasn’t attracted to you. 

S Rogers [8:33PM]: have you eaten dinner? Can i bring some thai food over? S Rogers [8:34PM]: I can help you finish packing? You [8:37PM]: I’ve given up on packing but yes to thai food!! ty :)

Maybe he just wasn’t interested in you that way. 

Maybe he was seeing someone else, too. You’d never discussed anything about exclusivity and maybe it was too soon for that and and maybe-

Maybe.. Augh, you had to stop yourself from spiraling.

Selfishly, you had never been so attracted to another person and you wanted to indulge. You wanted to feel Steve’s hands all over your body, feel his lips explore beyond your neckline, see every detail of those tattoos on his chest. 

You wanted Steve, all of him.

A knock at the door and an additional buzz from your phone let you know Steve had arrived. You stood from the bed and pulled yourself together. You had long since changed from your work clothes into a pair of athletic shorts and a tank top, mostly to avoid overheating as you packed and cleaned the space.

Truthfully, your anxiety about Steve would typically convince you to cover up with a sweater, as a layer of protection from any sign of rejection, but with an insane urge of courage, you just powered on ahead and headed towards the door to let him in.

What was it Claire had said to you? To stop playing it safe, to take a leap of faith?

“Hey!” You greeted him with a big smile as you opened the door, stepping out of the way so he could come inside. Beyond his full arms of - oh god, he was in another blue suit. This one was much less formal than the first you had seen him in, lacking both a vest and button up underneath. Instead, the dark blue sports coat matched his slacks over a plain white t-shirt. Once again, you found yourself staring at the tattoos peeking out near the neckline.

You watched him swallow and hinge his jaw slightly, matching your grin. 

“Hi.” Steve came in quickly, shutting the door and side stepping most of your boxes. “You’ve been productive.”

“I am so ready to move on from here,” you admitted, leading him towards the kitchen where he unloaded the bag from his arms. “My shower hasn’t had hot water in days.”

“I’m relieved you’ll be out of here, too,” Steve replied, shaking his head firmly as he unpacked the bags. “I wasn’t sure what your spring roll preference would be so I–” As he turned back to look at you, Steve trailed off, eyebrow raised as he caught your stare from across the room. “Are you okay?”

You took in a deep breath, squeezing your eyes shut as you went ahead and bit the bullet. “I just need to be straightforward and ask you something, alright? Are you seeing anyone else?”

Steve’s eyes blew out wide for a brief moment before narrowing again, tipping his head curiously as he watched you. “What? No.”

“I know we haven’t discussed like, dating or what we are to each other, it’s probably way too early for that but I.. we haven’t had sex yet and I was thinking maybe it’s because you’re with someone else too and you don’t want to be with me and–”

“Oh no, it’s not that at all, I swear.” With a slow breath, Steve leaned against the counter and dragged one hand behind his neck.

You swallowed hard and watched him closely. Oh god, he was either going to let you down easy or.. Wait. You let him collect himself, because if you were reading him correctly… The man was nervous. Were you making him nervous? 

You were making Steve Rogers nervous. Damn.

He cleared his throat, clutching the countertop behind his hips with tight fists. “Listen, I don’t do this. I don’t date or - or pace myself, very often. But with you, with this..” His teeth grazed over his bottom lip carefully. “I guess I don’t know what it is yet - what we’re doing here, what you want–”

You prayed for guidance and wisdom and forgiveness from anyone who might be listening, because when the words finally escaped the back of your throat, you had no idea what you were in for. With a sharp inhale, you cut him off. “You, Steve. I want you.”

Steve took that as permission enough, propelling himself forward. His hands flew up to your face, holding you steady as he crashed into you, his lips studying yours with unquestionable promise. 

Your hunger matched his - as your own hands grabbed onto his waist, pulling him even closer. And when his hips pushed against yours, a groan sounded off within him. From deep in his chest, it reverberated into your own. With one hand, he moved to cradle the back of your neck and when he -

“Oh, fuck.” You gasped as he fisted at your hair, exposing your neck as his lips and tongue continued their journey of exploration. “Steve..”

This man already had you whimpering. 

He released his hand and moved back slightly, peering down at you, barely hiding his smirk as evidence of his affect on you showed on your face. Your warm cheeks, deep breathing, swollen lips. 

“Are you okay? Is this okay?” One of his hands returned to your cheek, dragging his thumb down and across your lips. “Because I’ve wanted to do this for weeks now, wanted to know what you taste like and how to make you whimper and shake and..”

All you could do was nod, opening your mouth slightly as he pressed his thumb against your tongue. As if testing the waters, he pressed it just further and your mouth closed around it. 

“Oh, sweetheart - I’m going to ruin you. You gonna let me?” 

You batted your eyelashes and nodded hard as he slowly removed his thumb. “Yes. Yes please.”

Suddenly, the chaos and disarray of your entire apartment was gone. Your bedroom especially was a mixture of half packed boxes and clothes, though that was the last thing on your mind as Steve guided you towards your bed. Effortlessly, without even breaking away from your mouth. 

His lips ravaged yours - like every single opportunity to taste you and feel your tongue was something he needed to savor. You couldn’t hold back though - letting your hands roam all over his body, pushing away his suit jacket. He tossed it down on the ground and you pulled back. 

“Wait - do you need to hang that up?” 

Steve raised his eyebrows, a playful smirk growing across his face. “You think you’re funny, huh?”

You matched his grin, toying with the buttons on his shirt. “You’re clearly a suit guy. I can only imagine your dry cleaning bill and–”

He cut you off with another kiss, hands scrambling to caress the smooth fabric of your shorts against your skin. And then his hands stopped, snaking beneath the waistline and firmly gripping your backside.

“Fuck,” he hissed out, growling against your neck. “I have been dying to touch you, sweetheart. This fucking ass..”

Your responding laugh caught in your throat when he let go briefly, only to grip you again with even more force. Steve was an ass man, good to know.

“Okay, I’ve gotta have you..” He quickly pulled your tanktop up and over your head, then nudged you back on the bed. 

You thought you’d be nervous - finally being exposed to Steve like this, almost entirely naked under the terrible lights of your bedroom. But instead you felt excited and, well, safe. Because the way he was looking down at you as he undressed, a look that was crossed between carnal rage and admiration, you knew it would be okay. That Steve wanted to be there, in that exact moment the same way you wanted to. 

All your maybes floated away.

You reached behind your back to unhook your bra and started on the waistband of your shorts next, but Steve stopped you. 

“No, I want to..” He let out a deep exhale as he joined you on the bed, left in just his own boxer briefs. He dragged his hand across his mouth, grinning as he scanned over you. “Damn.”

You propped yourself up on your elbows, fighting off the urge to shy away from his stare. His own body was impressive, to say the least. He couldn’t hide his tight muscles under his clothes but finally seeing them, seeing how his skin was littered with tattoos, how the gold chain around his neck rested against his chest - damn was right.

Steve crawled up towards you, laying at your side, hands gripping your hips as he pulled you in close. His lips went to work again, ravaging your neck with a series of wet kisses until he got to your shoulder. His teeth grazed your skin as one hand came up to your chest. 

You didn’t waste time either, trying to focus as he explored your skin. You reached down and pressed your hand against his box briefs, eliciting a deep rumble from his chest as you palmed his length. He was hard already and you couldn’t wait to get your hands on him.

“Fuck..” You couldn’t help but beam as Steve took in a sharp breath, promptly dropping his hand to stop yours. “If you..” He stopped himself again and closed his eyes. “I’m trying to pace myself, sweetheart.” Before you could even argue, he was adjusting to lay you flat against the bed. With one elbow he propped himself beside you, while the other continued to explore.

Steve was thorough and thank god for that. Both his lips and his fingertips found places on your skin you weren’t certain another person had touched before - the delicate skin between your breasts, the nape of your neck, every inch of your soft stomach. Every decision seemed intentional, calculated - as if he wanted to savour every second and capture every piece of you in his mind forever.

You were lost in a state of mind you hadn’t succumbed to for a long time. A swirling mixture of excitement and nerves washed over you as he inched closer and closer to your waistline. 

“I wanna see you come, baby,” he spoke slowly, cautiously tugging on the edge of your underwear. 

You met his eyes, sensing he was asking for permission, checking in to make sure you were okay. You nodded quickly, chewing on your lip in anticipation. “Yes, please.”

He was off like a mad man, grinning as you lifted your hips and he peeled away your underwear. And when he grazed his fingers across you, against your slick, he didn’t waste anymore time. 

It echoed in the back of your mind that Steve had mentioned he didn’t do this, he didn’t date but damnit, he clearly knew what he was doing. While his fingers circled your clit, he watched you closely - as if part of his strategy was catching every clue you gave him to ensure maximum satisfaction.

And when you gasped –

“Right here, baby? Is this good? Are you gonna come for me?” He didn’t relent as you grabbed the sheets at your side, bucking your hips into his hand as he worked. “Look at me, look at me baby. I want to see you come.”

You were nearly panting as you finally looked up at him, catching the biggest grin on his face as his ministrations continued. He played you expertly through your climax, whimpering out his name as he carried on, slipping a finger into you as you shook. 

The man certainly had a strategy now. You were literally putty in his hands, shaking again and again as he laid his entire palm flat against you, working both your clit and reaching for that secret spot inside you too. 

“Again, baby. Come on.” He dipped down this time, lips finding yours in a fervor you hadn’t ever experienced before. “You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. Fuck, I could watch you forever..”

He relented soon enough, when you clamped your hand on his to finally slow it down. Your head was spinning still, almost completely forgetting you were in your mess of an apartment with this adonis of a man grinning in pride at your side. And shit, this was still just the foreplay.

“That was..” You stuttered, reaching a hand up to pull him closer. “..thank you.”

“My pleasure,” he returned with a laugh, finally leading his hand away from you. And then he even had the audacity to lick his fingers clean and you nearly died all over again. 

“I can.. If you want me to or we can..condoms..” You nudged your head to the side table. “Top drawer.”

Steve was grinning again, hurrying to shake off his boxers and hover above you before reaching towards the table. You propped yourself up on your elbows and watched as he grabbed from the drawer, although your eyes grew wide when you considered that he might find your–

“Oh  - and what is this?” 

“A girl has needs, okay?” You swatted at his hand as he gripped your vibrator. “Steve, there are more important matters at hand here..”

When he clicked the bottom button of your bullet vibe, you nearly died.

“Small and mighty,” he muttered out, licking his lips momentarily before returning it to the drawer. “We’re using that next time too.”

Your mouth dropped open at his casual, authoritative tone. “Okay.. yeah, we should.”

“That’s my girl,” Steve laughed in agreement, kneeling beside you on the bed as he put on the condom. “Ride me, baby?”

Under typical circumstances, it wasn’t your ideal way to start a sexual relationship with a person. It had taken you some time to feel comfortable on top and although you did love how it felt, the angle and position of your body often left you feeling a bit insecure. But then you considered the situation - here was Steve, laying down on your bed, hard and ready to have sex with you. Clearly he didn’t give a shit about what your body looked like - or even better, maybe he enjoyed it. 

“Baby, please. I want to feel you.” 

All it took was him licking his lips and you were decided. 

In an attempt at being graceful, you straddled him and angled yourself above him. Lord, the man was certainly blessed physically - from his broad shoulders to his tight waist to his cock, he lived up to his Big Dick Energy. And shit, as you sunk down - you were nearly ready to come again already.

“All the way, sweetheart.” Steve was already breathless as he gripped your hips, bucking his own up gently to elicit a moan from you. “I swear you were made for me.”

You were beginning to think the same thing. 

You did your best to start slow, adjusting to his size as you moved on top of him. But Steve really couldn’t hold back, apparently. He guided you to control the pace and it didn’t take him long to really take the lead. 

You folded yourself down and pressed your lips to him, as he pistoned his hips upwards into you. Christ, you were done for in moments - between his controlled thrusts and the way he was whispering into your ear, another orgasm crashed through you. 

“I want you, baby. Since the moment I saw you, since you crashed into me, I’ve wanted this.” He cradled you against him, soft flesh against the strong build of his own chest. And finally, finally, you could feel it coursing through your bodies - the same energy, the same connection, the same longing that finally spilled over. Whatever was stirring your heart and mind and soul, it seemed to match Steve too. 

With another rush of thrust, Steve reached his own peak, letting out a feral groan as he shook. 

“Thank the universe for giving me you, baby.”

 -- 

Although moving was always a tumultuous process, you were so grateful for your mother and her innate ability to organize your life. She ventured into the city to help you get set up in your new place and it had been beyond helpful - the time with your mom was exactly what you needed.

“So, when do I get to meet him?” Your mom finally asked the question you knew she had been dying to ask. Throughout your entire last few days, from unpacking the rest of your boxes and bins to rearranging your closet to shopping for a new couch - you just knew it had been on the tip of her tongue. In all honesty, you had been surprised she had waited so long to let it out.

You took a step away from your bookcase, casting a smile her way as she stacked a few plates into your cupboard. “Mom.”

“What? I’m not an idiot, love,” your mom replied, matching your pose with a hand on her hip. “Some generous friend of yours gets you a deal on an apartment, sends you flowers twice since you've moved in a week ago, makes you smile throughout the day as you check your phone..”

“I just.. We…” You sighed, scrunching up your face and taking a few steps towards her. “Mom, I like him so much. After I moved in and everything was a mess he packed a whole picnic lunch to eat on the floor with me, using a box as a table. A picnic, mom! I mean, most of it was straight from the deli down the block but..” With a heavy sigh, you closed your eyes. “I don’t know if it’s going to last. We’re very different in a lot of ways.” You leaned against the counter, letting out a long breath. Truthfully, it was the first time you admitted that out loud. And it scared you.

You liked Steve - a lot. More than you could remember ever feeling for someone else before. At first, you worried it might be some strange puppy love infatuation. But the more you actually got to know Steve, the more your heart felt knotted up in your chest. 

And god, the sex. You didn’t have the heart to tell your Mom that just days ago Steve had you pressed up against those exact kitchen counters she was unpacking on.

“Different isn’t necessarily bad,” your mom finally replied, with one of those knowing sort of nods. “Especially if the foundation is good, the big stuff and the long term - if those can align, different can survive, I think.”

You smiled. “Yeah, maybe. I’m just trying to… be realistic.” 

You were plagued with doubt in the back of your mind - not because of Steve, necessarily. But because you weren’t a stranger to blind trust and pain, both you and your mother had experienced that enough when your dad left. Didn’t your mom think their foundation had been good?

“Love,” your mom took a step forward and grabbed your nearest hand. “Don’t stress about it too much, okay? But if you’re too cautious, you’re going to miss out on a lot.” You knew she was speaking from experience and god, that broke your heart. “Now, I will drop the topic for the time being but I think I deserve to see a photo of him at least. The Mom tax.” Her eyes dropped to her watch. “Oh, I’ve gotta get going soon.”

“Maybe a photo,” you nodded with her. That seemed like enough of a compromise. “Herc needs some air - we’ll walk you.”

Your mom was capitalizing on her trip to the city and managed to book a coffee catch up date with an old friend and honestly, you were grateful for it. You appreciated every reminder that your mom was doing okay on her own these days.

The cafe was just a few blocks away, tucked between a little bistro Steve had actually taken you to a few days ago and.. 

“Mom,” you paused at the crosswalk, gripping Hercules’ leash as you turned your head and grabbed your mom’s attention. “Did you tell me who you're meeting for coffee?”

“No, I don’t know if I did,” she replied with a shrug. “Last month an old classmate of mine from college reached out to check in, see how life is, how work is going. When I told her I was coming to the city, she insisted we grab a coffee if time permitted.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, proceeding across the street and turning down toward the cafe. 

“What?” Your mom let out an excited greeting as she pointed ahead on the street and waved. “There's Sarah!” You both looked ahead and sitting outside the cafe was your mom’s college classmate Sarah Rogers and, well, her son Steve.

“Well, remember how I just said I might show you a picture of the mystery guy? Turns out you do get to meet him..” You recalled what Steve had told you when you had talked the day before, that he was busy with work and was having breakfast with his mom and when you approached them, exchanging hellos and hugs, you met his eyes with a coy smile.

“I swear I didn’t put two and two together until this morning,” he said quietly as you broke from your hug.

“What a small world!” Your mother exclaimed, gratefully telling Steve her preferred coffee order as he excused himself inside to get the drinks. “What are the chances?”

“This is all because of your lovely daughter,” Sarah offered you a smile and reached across the table to grab your hand. “Did she tell you how she saved my Steve’s life?”

“What? No, she has been quite tight-lipped about all of this, actually.” 

You really wanted to jump in and stop the whole thing from unraveling, but you knew there wasn’t a chance in hell you could stop two proud mothers from doting over their children. 

When Steve came back outside, he handed off a coffee to your mother and your preferred beverage to you, then politely suggested leaving your mothers to catch up. You were quick to agree, telling your own mom she could message you later when she’s back at your apartment.

Steve grabbed Hercules’ leash and you all headed for a walk to a nearby park, instead.

“Was it too soon to introduce you to my mom?” You nudged him with your elbow, garnering a laugh from him.

“Sweetheart, you met my mom twenty minutes after meeting me. I think it’s okay.”  

 -- 

Steve’s gallery wasn’t very large but still felt impressive, not that you had much experience when it came to art. But the walls were covered in beautiful canvases with incredulous price tags, you had a hard time even breathing near some of the pieces.

When Steve had first invited you to accompany him to an event at the gallery, you had been nervous. And when you realized it was a private fundraising party for a mayoral candidate, packed full of expensive suits and names you recognized from news media and social scenes in the city, your nerves had escalated to near panic.

Luckily, Steve had insisted you invite a friend and Wanda had been more than willing to be your safety for the evening. Wanda had been especially excited to be the first of your friends to meet Steve, too. And you were grateful to have her at your side, considering you had barely seen Steve since you had arrived with him earlier.

Although maybe it was better this way, because you both really needed to cool off. When you made it to Steve’s apartment earlier, full of apologies for running late, you worried you’d upset him by your tardiness. But the moment you stepped through his door in your sparkling cocktail dress, which flattered you in the exact way that made you feel sexy, it seemed all your concerns about Steve’s reaction had disappeared.

And when he fell to his knees and shoved your dress out of his way, you knew being late was not an issue. Steve made sure you knew exactly how he felt about your dress and your body, very thoroughly.

“What are we looking for?” Wanda tipped her head to the side, grabbing your hand and sliding through the crowd to stop in front of another canvas. She raised her glass and took a sip from her cocktail, letting out a slow exhale. 

“Steve told me that somewhere in here is a painting of his..” You trailed off, craning your neck to look for him in the crowd. You were trying not to feel weird about this whole thing - the room full of beautiful, powerful people talking to your man.

Your man. Well, Steve wasn’t yours. Not really. You still hadn’t discussed all that but you knew you were sort of exclusive, or at least he wasn’t dating anyone else. But who was that blonde woman talking to him? 

“Oh my god. Is that Tony Stark?” 

All your thoughts came to a halt when you followed Wanda’s wide eyes. Yes, that was Tony Stark and did he just–

“Oh my god. He just hugged Steve? Your boyfriend knows Tony Stark?”

You shook away Wanda’s hand as she grabbed your wrist. “Steve isn’t my..” It wasn’t long before Steve caught your eye, noticing both you and Wanda staring from across the crowd. You watched as he ducked his head and whispered something to Sam, who had been flanking his right side. 

Moments later, Sam was heading towards you and Wanda. 

“Hey - there’s someone Steve wants you to meet,” Sam said, motioning his hand back towards the center of the room. 

You knew this whole event was important to Steve, given the sheer volume of donations rolling in for James Rhodes and how his campaign was already stirring up news headlines. You hadn’t seen this side of Steve before, the work mode where business related things were of the utmost importance. 

Honestly, you were still actively ignoring the mystery that was Steve’s job. Guns, hushed conversations, late night work meetings - none of those added up to anything particularly savoury. It was better to remain ignorant, if a little naive. Just a little while longer…

“And why can’t Steve summon us himself?” Wanda giggled, proudly placing a hand on her hip as she finished off her cocktail. 

You smirked. “That’s a great point.”

Sam just laughed and lifted his hands, innocent despite his task at hand. “The man is busy kissing ass. Don’t kill the messenger.” 

You let out a dramatic sigh and pointed ahead. “Fine. Lead the way, Sam.”

You grabbed Wanda’s hand, following Sam through the crowd of people until you met up with Steve and his circle. Very quickly one of the servers came to replenish your drink as you slotted yourself at Steve’s side, rising to your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. You paused near his ear. “Hi. For future reference, I don’t want to be collected by some minion, okay?”

You returned to your feet and Steve’s hand cradled your back, eyebrows twisted as he searched your face. He looked worried and you were grateful for it. You waved your hand, dismissing the whole thing and mouthing to him that it was okay.

“I’m sorry,” he returned quietly. You squeezed his hand and remained under his arm, happily shaking hands with Tony Stark and a handful of others as Steve introduced you. 

It made you melt - how happy he was to include you, boast about you, have you at his side. Although it was a bit intimidating to suddenly be on first name basis with both the DA and tech mogul Tony Stark, you soon realized that they were just people and it seemed one of their favourite past times was poking fun at Steve.

Most importantly, to your surprise, Wanda had very quickly found herself lost in conversation with someone from Stark’s circle. You had missed his job title, but his nickname Vision had stuck out to you immediately. And it seemed his philosophical viewpoint and natural energy had Wanda laughing and arguing with him very quickly.

Later, as the crowd dispersed around your group, Steve took you by the hand and steered you back towards the rows of canvases and frames on display. The whole gallery had an energy that reminded you of Steve - with exposed brick sections from the original warehouse structure, with updated lighting and flooring to match. Something that felt both vintage and up to date, classic Brooklyn with a twist of something new. 

You stopped in front of a vibrant floral piece, tipping your head slightly to analyze the strokes and colours. There was something about it that felt familiar, like your mom’s garden at home.

“I like this one,” you uttered out quietly, as Steve slotted himself behind you. He extended his hand around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder.

“You can have it, if you want.”

“Steve.”

“It would look very good above your couch,” he insisted. “I know the guy who owns the place, he’ll give you a good deal.”

You just laughed and turned around in his arms, capturing his lips in a quick kiss as you met his eyes. 

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he continued, leaving his hand to rest at the small of your back while the other momentarily cradled your cheek. 

“It’s fine,” you said with a small smile. “I just.. I don’t know how things operate in your work life, but I’m not part of that. So I think we should just communicate directly, okay? No fetching by colleagues.”

“You know, the minute Sam walked away from me - my gut feeling said it was the wrong call.”

“You’ve gotta follow your instincts, Rogers,” you laughed and fell forward into his embrace. “I’ll forgive you for it this time, though.”

Steve’s hands trailed up your arms slowly, moving to cradle your cheeks again as he delivered another kiss to your lips. “Gonna come to the club with us after this wraps up?”

You tipped your head as if deep in thought, tugging his hands away and holding them between your chests. “What does a night at the club look like for you?”

“Nothing too raucous anymore. I try to keep a level head since taking ownership,” he responded. “It’s just a carry on of all the strategic conversations and networking garbage. Lots of drinks will be flowing though. Or anything else you might want?”

You could sense he was trying to ask a bigger question so you shook your head. “Nothing but drinks for me usually. Will there be champagne?”

“If that’s what you want - I can get you a champagne fountain, baby.”

“A bottle would be fine,” you said with a giggle, sliding your hands under his suit jacket. “You’ll dance with me?”

“I don’t really dance but I can find us a nice dark corner to hide in. Show you my office..”

--

Once the event had died down, everyone seemed to be piling into SUVs waiting outside to head to Shield for the rest of the night. You hadn’t been out to any club in a while and were sort of looking forward to it, mostly because you had a feeling you wouldn’t have to wait in line to get in or wait for a drink for the rest of the night either.

In fact, when you got to the club, it only took four steps from the vehicle to get you inside, with Steve’s hand at your back leading you in. Immediately a security guard ushered you all upstairs to a roped off area that looked down on the rest of the dance floor. 

Once you were beyond the velvet ropes, you realized the wild exclusivity of the area. Already, bottles of liquor sat in ice buckets, a set of waitresses appeared with more drinks and as more of the group piled in, you had a feeling this wasn’t a place where just excessive drinking occurred.

You dropped down onto one of the lush couches with Wanda, happily taking a bubbling glass of champagne that was offered to you from a bottle Steve had popped. 

You clinked your glass with Wanda’s and scanned the area. On the opposite couch, Nat was knocking back shots with Bucky and to their side, it seemed no time was wasted when it came to the beyond drinking activities. Sam, a blonde woman you hadn’t met yet and a large football player of a man were portioning lines of coke - and even asking if anyone wanted in for their next round.

“What about you, lady friend of Steve?” The large man met your curious gaze, though you were very quick to shake your head. “I can get you anything you’d like.”

“No thanks,” you waved dismissively, finishing off your champagne before getting to your feet. “Wan? Should we dance?” 

You weren’t that closed minded when it came to places like this, given what you already knew about Steve. In fact, he had even told you about what nights at the club usually looked like for him. He had told you that years ago, he’d party all night with no memory of what he had been doing. Now? He stuck to business conversations, liquor and the occasional cigar. You had a feeling the rest of his crew could be a bit more rowdy though. 

But damn, you hadn’t seen people so effortlessly snorting drugs in a long time. Since some outrageous college parties, probably.

“Oh, me too, me too I want to dance. Nat jumped up from her seat and grabbed your hand, weaving through the array of suits standing around talking. “Stevie - I’m taking your girl downstairs.”

Steve gave a raised eyebrow look as you passed him by, not before you paused to press a kiss against his cheek. “I’ll be okay.”

“She’ll be fine! She’s in good hands!”

The first thing Nat did when you got back to the lower level was steer both you and Wanda towards the bar. Immediately a bartender took notice of you and had drinks ready. You gave a small wave to Kate and Yelena, who were both managing bar logistics far from where you were standing and you quickly tipped back whatever Nat had offered you without question.

“That was a test!” Nat shouted in your ear, grinning at both you and Wanda as you recoiled from the vodka. “You're both tough, I like it.”

You shouted back, slamming down your glass on the barside. “Are we dancing or what?”

The dance floor at Shield was huge and the playlist wasn’t half bad either. Normally, a hot sticky night of dancing at this sort of bar wasn’t your ideal but the liquid courage and electricity from Nat and Wanda definitely helped set the mood. 

You were having fun. 

God knows how many songs had blasted through your ears before you felt warmth at your back and a familiar arm snaking around you. 

“Baby..” Steve whispered against the shell of your ear, pressing himself against you. All of himself, even. “I wanna show you my office.”

“Dance with me,” you shifted against him, throwing your arms around your neck as you looked up to meet his eyes. “God, you’re hot.”

He grinned and pulled you even closer, swaying his hips slowly against yours. “I told you I don’t dance, sweetheart. Come on..” 

--

You had a feeling Steve didn’t really want to show you his office. Okay, well maybe he did. 

Very specifically he only wanted to show you the couch in his office.

“You sober enough to make good decisions, sweetheart?”

A flurry of hands and lips and steps landed you on his couch, then he promptly had you perched on the side of it, gripping the armrest with your ass in the air, with a perfect view of yourselves in the reflection of a mirror propped up behind the door.

“Holy shit, baby.” Steve was practically growling as he gripped your hips, thrusting into you with an unexpected urgency. He hadn’t even bothered letting you take your dress off, simply pushing up your skirt and tugging your underwear to the side before he slid in. “You’re so wet for me.”

“Steve, fuck.” You fisted the fabric of the couch as he slowed down, immediately chasing his pace as you backed up into him. 

“Yeah, take what you need, sweetheart.”

You had insisted he forgo the condom this time, trusting both your birth control and your exclusivity discussion to keep you both safe. And well, you had told him to up the ante a bit too - a little harder, a little faster. And fuck if that didn’t make him feel even better this time.

“Come for me, come on my cock. I want to feel you..” He doubled down as you started to shake, pressing you down against the cushions as he sped up. “Seeing you down there on the dancefloor, you looked incredible - so fucking sexy –  my girl. All mine.”

It didn’t surprise you when he pulled out and spilled against your ass. You hated to admit how much you liked it, the idea of him marking you up because shit, all this talk about being his, behind Steve’s girl? It was sending you to another universe entirely.

“Sweetheart, you okay? That wasn’t too much?” You had collapsed onto the couch, catching your breath as Steve cleaned up, quickly pulling his boxers up and buckling his belt again. He crouched down beside you, brushing a hand across your forehead. “You with me?”

“Yes, just coming back down to earth.” You laid your head down on the pillow and smiled. “That was… very enjoyable. Loved getting to see your office, great couch.”

He cradled your cheek and kissed you, hard. “I think I want to show you the desk next.”

 -- 

Steve thought he was ending his night by crawling into bed with you. Thelast few weeks following the event at the gallery had left him busier than he anticipated and when you both finally coordinated a date night, you deserved his full attention.

And, well, he had given it to you. From walking around the botanical gardens to dinner at one of his favourite restaurants to fooling around on the drive back to his place, Steve had more than indulged in you. Now, after another sweaty romp back at his place plus more action in the shower, the last thing he needed was Bucky calling him in the middle of the night.

“What?” Steve practically barked under his breath, carefully removing himself from the sheets and stepping out of the darkness of his bedroom. “Didn’t I tell you I was on do not disturb tonight, Buck?”

“Special circumstances. Castle is holding some idiot who made a scene at their warehouse, stirring shit about boundary lines.”

“And?” 

“You told Russo you wanted to know when Rumlow left his mark again - it was one of his guys.”

Steve gritted his teeth, weighing his options. He knew what he needed to do and unfortunately even your sleeping body warming his bed didn’t stop him from following through with his own rules. Brooklyn was his territory and he couldn’t have anyone else making a mess of that. “Can the guy still talk?”

Bucky laughed. “Barely. He’s in good spirits apparently - especially mouthy, says Castle. I’m downstairs, let’s go.”

A heavy sigh escaped Steve, from the depths of his chest. He knew what he needed to do, but damnit, his heart and soul were resisting. Why did this entire thing feel like a test?

“I’ll be down in five.”

Steve did his best to remain quiet as he got dressed again, stepping out of his closet to see you stirring in bed. His bed. God, there you were in his bed, resting, beautiful.

“Go back to sleep, sweetheart. I’m leaving Hercules in charge.” Steve looked briefly to your sleeping pup who was curled up in a new dog bed in the corner. “I’ll be back soon.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips, trying not to shudder as you grabbed his hip.

Through a muffled yawn, you let go and fell back into the pillow. “Be safe, okay?”

Steve left one more kiss on your forehead and headed towards the door, leaving you safely tucked away at home as he ventured into the darkness of the city.

--

CHAPTER 03 - CHAPTER 05

Thank you for reading!! I’d love to hear your thoughts. Up next: what makes a good person? What happens when business mixes with pleasure?

[arialerendeair]

Well, That's Curious

A fic for @the-centennial-husbands-bigbang!!!

I had the pleasure of working with the most AMAZING artist, @maccca-chino, whose blog you should go check out and follow immediately!!!

LINK TO THE UTTERLY BRILLIANT ART LOOK AT IT, AHHHH!!

Pairing: Dream/Hob

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 38,800

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence , Happy Ending, Hob Gadling Loves Dream of the Endless, Orange Tabby Cat Hob Gadling, Depressed Dream of the Endless, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Supportive Hob Gadling, Protective Hob Gadling, BAMF Hob Gadling, Brief Suicidal Ideation, NO ONE DIES THOUGH I PROMISE, Getting Together, Falling in Love, Delirium and Death are tied for best sibling, King of Cats Dream of the Endless, Kitty Cat Cuddle Piles, Hob is an orange tabby and no one will ever convince me different, One more tag to be added when we get there - but it's a surprise!

Read on Ao3

Summary: Hob was not a list person.

But when he found himself in a situation he didn’t understand, the first thing he did was attempt to make a list of things he knew.

One.  He was dreaming.  Sort of. Two.  He was a cat.

This was going to be a very long day.

Full Fic Below the Cut

Hob was not a list person.

He never had been, never would be.

Now Eleanor?  She was a list person.  She loved her lists.  And crossing items off lists. At the very least, she (and later Robyn), had taught him the value of a proper list when all else seemed lost.

Which was why, when Hob found himself in a situation he didn’t understand, the first thing he did was attempt to make a list of things he knew.

One.  He was dreaming.

How he knew that, he had no idea, but he was certain of that in the way he knew intrinsic truths of himself. He was in a dream, of some sort, which perhaps made the rest of things make sense without needing to rely on particular logical reasoning.

Two.  He was a cat.

Why he was a cat, he had no idea.  But he was.  An orange tabby, if he wasn’t mistaken.  But he was, and he didn’t feel like a human, but like a cat, ready to pounce on anything that captured or drew his interest.

Three.  Something was very wrong with where he was.

The air around where he was sitting was still, almost stifling in the stillness. It didn’t feel right, and every inhale (and oh breathing was strange with all his senses dialed up as they were) seemed to be forced.  As though it wasn’t necessary, and as though the air wasn’t quite air yet.  The sense of wrongness only grew stronger the more he tried to focus on it, his tail flicking impatiently.

Four.  He was waiting for someone.  Someone who needed him.

The last thing he remembered before he was a cat, was being told by a voice that echoed and rang that he was needed.  That someone needed him and couldn’t admit it, and he could help in a way no one else could.  And if there was one thing Hob was very good at (even as a cat), it was going to be helping whoever it was that he was waiting for.

(He did suspect it was their throne he was sitting on, but that would be something for him to figure out later, whenever they appeared.)

Five.  Hob was no longer entirely, completely human.

This was one of the more perplexing items on his mental list, but it was true.  There was something in the back of his mind now that told him this was the truth.  But what he was, especially now that he was a cat, he did not know.  He simply was.  What he was, if it was a what, he didn’t know.  But he was.

Lastly?  He was stuck.

There was nothing to be done for it at present.  He had tried a variety of things, of methods, and had not been able to change back.  (He had, at least, tested his reflexes rather thoroughly and was glad that they seemed to be as enhanced as a cat's would.)  He was stuck here, waiting for someone, waiting to see what would happen next, so he could begin to... do whatever he needed to.  Help.  Someone.  Whoever it was. 

"Who might you be?"

Hob's attention immediately focused on the woman standing in front of him, who was holding a book and watching him curiously.  She didn't seem angry, or upset, mostly confused and curious as to his presence.  Where he was, precisely, would have been useful in determining what had happened to him and why.  Perhaps it would have let him start sorting all of this mess.  Instead, he gave her his best impression of a shrug. 

She raised both of her eyebrows.  "I can understand you perfectly well if you speak." 

Hob considered that for a moment, wondering if he would speak with his normal voice, the voice of a cat, or something else.  He swished his tail against the marble of the throne and listed his head to look at her properly.  "Can you?"  There was an echoing meow behind the words, clearly what the vocalization sounded like, but she nodded once more.  He relaxed and rolled over onto his belly, stretching out with a pleased purr as the cool stone pressed to the soft skin there.  "Where am I?"

"You are in the Dreaming.  How did you come to be here?"  She reached out to touch a fingertip to his tail.  He flicked it at her with a frown.  "Where did you come from?"

Hob shrugged again.  "I have no idea.  I was told I needed to be here, so I am.  Everything is different, and I am a cat." 

"You are..." 

She stroked a fingertip along his spine and Hob had to find a shiver of something, power, or magic, touching him at the same time and narrowed his eyes at her, but she didn't seem to want to do anything else beyond that singular touch.  There was something clearly confused on her face now and she was watching him with narrowed eyes as he didn't bother to try to finish the sentence for her. 

"Not a Dream.  Nor a Nightmare.  Where might you have come from, to contain power like that?" she asked.  "Strange that my lord would not have warned me of your coming."  She looked pointedly down at the chair.  "Or that you would be quite so forward as to sit on his throne." 

"It's comfy," Hob pointed out, his eyes drifting shut as he let out a breath.  Whatever lord that he had taken the seat of would survive, he was a cat after all.  "It's not as though he is using it at the moment."  He licked his lips and considered as he stared at his paws and dragged his tongue along one.  "Will he be back soon?  Maybe he knows what I am supposed to do and who I am supposed to help." 

She pressed her lips together and frowned down at him.  "You are supposed to help?"

"Yes," Hob answered, and the firmness in his own voice surprised him a fraction.  "I do not know with what, but I will be able to help."  He pushed himself up to his feet and stretched, before curling up on the throne once more.  "If you do not know when he will be back, it seems that the best thing for me to do will be to wait for him here."

"What are you?"

Hob gave a loud meow and stared at her for several long moments.  The question rankled.  There was an obvious answer (a cat), a less than obvious answer (a human, turned into a cat) and the truth, which was that he was... something else all together, now, that he didn't completely understand.  He wanted to know, and he wanted to answer truthfully, but since he couldn't, he shrugged and curled up on the marble once more.  He could wait for whoever it was.  He had time, and though his Stranger (Dream, he knew a name now) had promised to visit him sometime soon, he had a feeling that he would know if he was being looked for. 

(He added that to the list.  It was a strange thing to be certain that he would KNOW.)

"Do not be surprised if you are removed when my lord returns," she said, turning on her heel to descend the stairs, leaving a book on the arm of the throne. 

Hob lifted his head to stare at the spine of the book curiously, the writing in a language he did not recognize.  Interesting, that this lord would be reading a book, and would have a woman bringing him a book who felt comfortable quizzing him in such a fashion.  Who was this lord? 

He'd find out soon enough, he was sure.

~!~

Their conversation had been beyond any expectation Hob ever could have had of his friend returning.  It had been hard to keep the smile off his face as they had begun talking, and this time, his friend did not simply listen, but offered quiet commentary, and it had his heart singing with joy the entire time, even as the evening passed and closing time rapidly approached.  He was sad for it to end, but he had decades worth of those quick and secret smiles to store under his ribs and hoard them like the thief he no longer tried to be. 

He finished off the last of his beer and raised the empty glass to his Stranger.  No name had been forthcoming, but where before it had felt like an imposition to ask, now, it almost felt as though it were a game that they were playing together.  "So, will it be back to the usual '89 rhythm?" he asked, his voice soft, smiling sadly.  "I'd like that, if possible.  But I don't know what requirements you have on our arrangement, Stranger." 

His Stranger had paused, his fingertips resting against the stem of his wineglass as he studied the liquid in it without partaking.  He'd maybe taken two sips that Hob had seen all evening.  Maybe he would garner up the courage to ask if he could order something his Stranger actually liked at their next meeting, no matter when it was. 

"I would not impose on your life, and how you spend it, Hob Gadling." 

Hob's eyes sharpened to his Stranger, the tentativeness with which he said those words, because they seemed to be leading somewhere.  He tilted his head and offered a quiet hum of consideration.  "What do you mean?" he asked, his voice soft. 

His Stranger's eyes had flicked up, and the bottomless blue had shone with the light of thousands of stars for the briefest of seconds, making his breath catch, before they had faded back into the normal eyes of a man he knew. 

"Only that it has been... recommended to me, that friends me more often than once a century.  However, if that is the arrangement you wish to keep to, I will not-"

Hob's heart leaped into his throat and he reached out to touch his Stranger's hand, pressing his fingertips to that pale wrist, halting him.  "Friends do meet more than once a century," he agreed, hoping that he did not sound as desperate as he had felt at the moment.  He managed a broader grin.  "My friend, I will meet with you as often as you could possibly make time for me, and find nothing but joy in it.  There is little that could make me happier, I suspect, than the chance to meet with you more regularly, as long as it places no undue weight on you." 

The smile Hob got in return, small and tentative, but shining with emotion had Hob's heart jumping out of his chest to land in the palms of his Stranger without hesitation.  He kept up the eye contact that seemed to linger for several extended seconds before his friend nodded once more.  

"It would please me to meet more often, Hob.  How often would you recommend?"  He paused, before continuing.  "I have not found myself in the possession of a friend before, and would seek your lead in this matter." 

Hob wanted to wrap his friend up in his arms, hug him tight, and probably never let him go.  If those words were not the most heartbreaking thing he had ever heard in his life, he did not know what were.  He managed a smile and another tap of his fingertips against his friend's wrist.  "Least once a year, I would say.  I'd like to meet more often, of course.  Maybe once a month, or once every couple of months?  I don't know what your schedule looks like, my friend, I do not want to impose." 

His friend had pursed his lips and considered before answering and Hob had never wanted to kiss someone more than he did his friend in that moment, to smooth away the considering confusion that was on his face.  He looked grave and serious, but open to the suggestion, which was more than Hob had ever expected of him. 

"Time is rarely linear for me in such a fashion.  However, I can ensure that I do visit you at least once a year, and shall endeavor to visit more often than that." 

Hob nodded rapidly, unable to keep the grin that grew on his face.  "My friend, nothing makes me happier.  I would love to see you sometime in the next year.  Even if it's tomorrow, next week, next month, you are always welcome where I am, and I will welcome you with open arms."  That gained him a piercing look, considering and heavy, and Hob felt a shiver run up his spine at the sheer weight of that look being leveled at him in such a way.  He offered a small shrug but waited for the judgment of such a declaration. 

"You are a good friend, Hob Gadling.  Perhaps far better than I deserve.  I thank you for your willingness to teach me how to be a better one." 

Hob beamed, still grinning.  "I think you are a brilliant friend, for the record.  And I will be very excited to tell you as many stories as you like when you return."  He lit up with excitement.  "Perhaps we can even explore other places outside the pub."  He caught the pointed nod from his staff member and stood up, glad when his friend followed the same cue and they began to make their way to the door.  "If you want to, of course.  We don't have to do anything you don't want!"

His friend paused in consideration once more before he nodded.  "I would like that." 

"Great, amazing," Hob breathed out, nodding eagerly as he brought them to the door and opened it for his friend, stepping out into the cool air, before turning to look at his friend with a rueful grin.  "I guess that this is where we say goodbye for the evening?" 

His friend nodded and Hob once more felt himself utterly pinned into place by those eyes and that gaze, making him gasp and squirm under it, even though he was far too old for that sort of reaction, to say the least. 

"Thank you, for your company, and your friendship, Hob Gadling." 

Hob would never, ever get tired of hearing his stranger say his name, or calling him his friend, especially with the small smile that was on his face.  It felt like something that was made just for him, something that was his, alone.  Something that he would always be more than a little weak for, so he swallowed, and nodded.  "Of course, stranger, any time.  As often as you like." 

His Stranger nodded once more and turned to leave, but Hob tensed when he paused and turned back to look at him. 

His Stranger smiled faintly.  "My name, Hob, is Dream."  He inclined his head.  "I will see you soon."

Hob wanted to cry as he watched his stranger, Dream, his name was Dream, oh he would never forget this moment, for the rest of his life, no matter how long it was, not ever, not after this, stepped into the shadows and disappeared.  He leaned against the New Inn and breathed deep, lifting his eyes to look at the stars.  How had he gotten so lucky?  Not only had his friend returned, he'd been granted a name, and his friendship, it seemed like they would be meeting far more often than he ever imagined possible.  It was everything he ever could have wanted, handed to him on a silver platter. 

If only he could have seen what the future would hold on June 7th in 1989. 

~!~

"Who are you?"

Hob blinked himself awake, slow and lazy, yawning wide as he stretched out on the cool marble that still felt magnificent on his belly and lifted his head just a fraction to look at who had spoke.  He opened one eye properly and looked up at the towering figure.  The sight of his Stranger, of Dream, had him scrambling to his feet and he sat down, his tail curled around his paws and looked up at the truly incredible sight of Dream.  How had this happened?  What was his friend doing here? 

If he told his friend who he was, would he be made to leave?  He had been sitting on the throne of a supposed lord, after all.  Perhaps it would be for the best to see if his friend recognized him, and if he did not, pretend ignorance.  He yawned again and made a small noise.  "I'm here to help someone.  I woke up here, like this.  Was told I would need to help them." 

Dream blinked at him in clear confusion, and Hob stared right back at him, unwilling to break his eye contact or risk being banished by the figure in front of him.  He would stand his ground, and maybe he was right.  Maybe Dream could tell him who he needed to help. 

"You are not going to help them by sitting on my throne," Dream answered, eventually.  "Remove yourself, if you please." 

Hob heard the not-request for what it was and surveyed his options for a few seconds before jumping up onto the arm of the throne, sitting down on it easily.  He continued to stare at his friend and preened when that particular action got him a smile that seemed to come much more readily to his lips here, wherever here was.  His friend sat down beside him, and then there were long fingers sinking into his fur, petting him slow and easy.  It was impossible to keep the purr in his throat, and he tipped himself into the touch with a pleased sound.  

Dream continued to pet him, and Hob felt everything around him go more than a little hazy, but he was warm and cradled by comfortable shadows and when Hob blinked to proper attention again, he realized that he was exactly where he'd wanted to be.  On Dream's lap, sprawled out with long fingers buried in his fur, petting him idly.  He let out a happy sigh and settled properly, glad when Dream resumed his petting after a few minutes.  Beyond him, there was a conversation that Dream was clearly having, one that he should have been listening to, perhaps, but it was entirely superseded by the feeling of Dream continuing to pet him. 

That confirmed it then.  Dream did not recognize him, not by voice, and not by virtue of being able to read his mind, which meant that he got to see Dream around other people and compare notes at a later date.  For the moment though, his friend seemed content to read the book in his lap, pages turning at a steady rate as he worked through whatever book that Hob hadn't  been able to read the title of.  Eventually though, there was a more pointed scratch of his ears, and with a noise, Hob brought his attention to his friend and blinked slowly at him.  If there was something that he wanted, Hob would do his best to fulfill.

"I have work to attend to, as much as I would enjoy passing more time here," Dream told the cat that was not a dream, not a nightmare, and not of his realm at all.  It seemed harmless, and even Lucienne had said she had seen it do nothing more than nap against his throne for the hours that he had been here.  "But I thank you for the pleasure of your company." 

Hob stretched and hopped down off of Dream's lap, his tail swishing as he stretched again and watched the sand begin to swirl around his friend.  The other-ness in the back of his mind began to clamor, and before the sand dissipated, Hob had followed his friend out of the wild rush of sand and onto a patch of green grass that extended behind them and a series of hills that seemed crumpled in on itself.  It looked like the land had been eaten by a whirlpool of some sort, and Hob could feel the ache of the land beneath his paws.  With a noise, he made his way forward toward the bits that he could see. 

Dream watched, curious, as the cat that had somehow followed him to the parts of the Dreaming that had been devastated by the vortex, trotted off and into the areas where his realm was still aching.  He could barely feel the brush of it, even as it explored the devastation.  He had been fixing the areas, one at a time, one after another, until he came to the worst of it, which was always exhausting to repair, but repair it must be.  "You will need to move," he called to the cat, who seemed determined to be in the way, still walking around the edge of the grass that was pulled into a black hole of sorts.  "I need to-"

He paused and tilted his head, because the cat was looking down the hole and didn't seem to show any fear of what was in front of it.  In fact, with an easy leap, it was standing in mind air above the ground that was twisted and curled in on itself.  The cat seemed to turn to look at him proudly, now out of his way, and settled on the invisible platform it had been able to create in the Dreaming, somehow.  Whatever it was, the Dreaming did not consider it a threat, and that, at least, was reassuring.  He had harmed more than enough people and creatures since his return, knowing that he could not easily hurt this one was a relief. 

Dream took a deep breath and reached out for the threads of the Dreaming around him, the ones that had been ripped and torn apart by Rose.  Not intentionally, but by virtue of what she simply was and began to weave them back together.  It was painstaking, exhausting work, repairing and weaving all at once, but he was well aware that if he did not do it together, he would be in a situation where he would need to rip it apart to repair it regardless.  Though he had more power than he had had in longer than he could remember, wielding it with this level of finesse and care was not a thing he had ever thought to practice over the years. 

A delicate bit of weaving pulled his distraction enough to have him dropping threads, and he cursed, about to drop it all and undo it to begin again, when he found that nothing had come unwoven.  The threads were still held, almost precisely in place where they had needed to be. 

Dream pulled his awareness back to the Dreaming around him and saw the cat, standing exactly where Dream had last seen him, save that he was standing now, and shining in his mouth, held taut, were the strands that he had lost his strength on for a moment.  The kitten was staring at him proudly as it continued to hold the threads still for him.  He managed to finish up the rest of what he had been doing and picked up the strands from the kitten and finished the weave and the remains of the repair, until it was at last as it should have been.  Freshly woven and raw dreamstuff for him to mold as he saw fit. 

A meow had him pulling his attention down to the cat who was sitting in front of him, his head tilted up as though he was proud of himself and Dream could not help the smile that curled over his lips.  In an instant, it was easy to slip into another form, a cat, much larger than the one standing in the grass, walking once, then twice, around the cat who had a strange amount of control in his realm. 

"You are magnificent." 

Dream blinked and found himself sitting in front of the orange tabby, studying him curiously, curling his tail around his feet.  "Thank you, for your compliment.  And for your assistance."  He inclined his head briefly and turned to walk away and deeper into the Dreaming, moving through it as easily as he ever had, reacquainting it with himself in this form.  Strangely, the orange tabby was able to follow in his footsteps, almost as though he could see the paths that Dream himself was walking, as he led the way deeper and deeper in, higher and higher up. 

However, as before, the cat behind him, did nothing more than observe and look at everything around him, seemingly curious with everything around him, eager to explore and see what there was to see.  It was strange, even as he felt the presence of Matthew join him, more than once, the other cat seemed entirely unbothered by the presence of his raven.  Matthew, in turn, after giving the cat what could only be considered a glare on any other animal, had congratulated on him finding a friend, before he'd headed back to the castle at Dream's bidding. 

A friend. 

Dream thought of Hob Gadling, living his life in the waking world, enjoying his teaching, his classes, while he worked to repair and organize the Dreaming.  The work ahead of him was extensive, but it had already begun, and with Gault's remaking, more of his creations had come forward, speaking to him for perhaps the first time in their existence.  They had so long been afraid to approach and discuss anything with him before, now it was as though floodgates had opened, and now none of them feared speaking with him as they had in the past.  It would take time, and a great deal of effort, as Lucienne had often reminded him, to rebuild what had been broken, and a great many of his dreams and nightmares were not the same. 

But the Dreaming was better for it. 

And whoever this creature was, it clearly (for now) did not mean him any harm, and did not appear to want to get in his way as he went about his duties, so Dream saw no need to be concerned about such a presence.  At least for the time being. 

Hob was in bliss, staring at the scenery around him.  The spot they had stopped was a grassy meadow, and after pouncing on two different flowers (and feeling the rumble of what felt like the field itself below him in amusement), Hob had stretched out to sun himself until Dream had decided he needed to move to another area of the kingdom.  Instead, he'd talked to a raven that had been larger than him (even with how big he was in cat form) and Hob had watched them curiously as the raven was dismissed and sent back to the castle, before Dream was turning back to him.  He gave a blissful wave of a paw and watched his friend come closer.

"You look comfortable."

Hob wanted to laugh and he rolled in the grass, scratching at his back, before he flopped in a direction that had him facing his friend. He yawned, showing his teeth, before he nodded once. "I am very comfortable. Have you ever laid out in the sun here? There are few things better than lying out in the sun to relax and simply enjoy yourself."

Dream sat down next to the orange tabby and turned to look up at the sun.  "It does not affect me in such a way." 

"Bet that it could if you let it!" Hob challenged, shifting to expose his belly, letting out a purr at how good it felt.  "Give it a try.  Promise I won't tell a soul.  You can go back to being the King of Cats after!''

Dream blinked and opened his mouth to ask how the orange tabby had discovered his title when it was clear that he was barely being teased.  By a cat that he did not understand, that did not belong in the Dreaming, who was not a Dreamer either, something fascinatingly in between that seemed determined to accompany him.  "Why should I?"

"Because it is fun, life is short, and sometimes when everything else is a mess, taking a small pleasure for yourself means everything," Hob challenged, reaching out to press a paw to Dream's shoulder, applying enough pressure to tip him over until he was lying in the grass as well.  "You have been working hard.  Take a few moments to yourself to breathe and to relax.  It is good for you." 

"Good for me," Dream repeated, curious.  He twisted his body a fraction, so he was mimicking the pose of the other cat and waited for whatever was supposed to happen.  After a few seconds, the warmth of the sun above him shone brighter, encouraged by its lord.  He closed his eyes and heard the purr of satisfaction from beside him, and waited.  

He felt it on his paws first, and flexed them, spreading his toes wide, warm tingling enough to have a pleased rumble escaping him.  And after, the warmth seemed to creep over him in low waves, almost as though a blanket were being pulled over him.  Wave after wave of steady comfort, all of it curling around him in an endless supply of warmth.  A much louder purr rumbled from his throat and he tipped his head back, trying to expose as much of himself to the heat as was possible.  

Hob had no idea when his friend had last let himself relax, properly, had really indulged in something that was only for his happiness and comfort, and not a part of his work, or his duty.  But him doing that right this moment was... giving him all sorts of fuzzy feelings he knew well enough to keep to himself.  Dream couldn't be bothered with those, and that would be for the best.   But seeing his friend relax, his body going slack as he enjoyed the sunlight, and clearly, by the sound of his purring, it was better than he expected. 

Hob allowed himself to squeeze a fraction closer, until his paws were brushing against long strands of dark fur pillowed in the grass of the field they sat in.  From there, there was nothing but soaking up the sun, constantly.  It was rather perfect, a dream that he never wanted to end. 

--

Dream came back into awareness to a flutter of familiar feathers.  Matthew.  

He sat up properly and turned to his raven, already missing the relaxation that the orange tabby was still enjoying, but it was clear that Matthew had come bearing a message.  "Is all well, Matthew?"

"Nothing is wrong, boss!  Lucienne wanted me to let you know that responses to your allies are coming in, or flooding in, I think, were the words she used."  Matthew flapped his wings and looked over Dream's shoulder and lowered his voice.  "She has no idea who your uh.  Guest, is, though." 

Dream made a quiet humming sound, low in his throat and met the eyes of the orange tabby who had sat up and was now watching them both.  "He is a guest, and that is enough," he announced, stretching his claws in the soft dirt of Fiddler's Green.  "I will return soon.  Does she need assistance-"

"Oh, no, keep enjoying yourself.  I think she's liking the response that the Dreaming is getting, and she wanted to, you know.  Pass on good news.  Nothing needed, you can keep doing your relaxation routine, or tour, or whatever you have going on here," Matthew said, hopping twice in the grass.  "She also said that you could bring him to tour the library, as an option.  That he might enjoy it." 

Dream nodded once, and watched as Matthew took off and into the sky, heading for the castle, likely to tell Lucienne that he had been found in cat form, sunning himself in Fiddler's Green.  It was disgraceful, he had so much work to do, to finish, but taking a break was also something that Lucienne had been insistent on him needing.  He turned back to the orange tabby who was watching him, and sat down in front of him, and waited, but the cat seemed to content to wait for him to say something, or to make the first move. 

"Who are you?" Dream repeated, narrowing his eyes at the orange tabby.  "Why have you come to the Dreaming?"

"The Dreaming," Hob repeated, his voice soft and awed.  "I was brought here.  And I... am not sure.  Who I am."  The words made him squirm, because telling Dream that he was Hob would have been only partially correct.  He was stuck, trapped in this form, and he knew that he was not only human anymore.  To say it was him would be lying, but nor did this feel entirely accurate.  "I know some things.  But I also know I am stuck.  And I am meant to help someone.  I was hoping that you could tell me who I was meant to help." 

Dream tilted his head, but even with the power of the Dreaming surrounding the cat in front of him, it revealed no additional answers.  There was Endless magic sunk into him, perhaps deeper than it should have been for a normal cat, but the only touch that he could feel upon the cat was his own, and the faintest touches of his siblings.  When the orange tabby stepped closer, and leaned in, nuzzling up against him, he flinched back, hissing.  "I did not give you permission to touch me!"

Hob sat down in front of his friend, watching him with careful eyes.  "So you did not," he agreed.  "I am sorry." 

Dream found himself mollified by the immediate apology and flexed his claws in the ground, leaning against the Dreaming again.  It had... had felt good.  Almost the same as the sunlight soaking into him.  He had not touched anyone else since he had stepped into the Dreaming, save Lucienne's hand, and the briefest of touches of Hob Gadling's fingers to his hand.  "What possessed you to do such a thing?"

"You looked like you could use a hug," Hob said.  He would never have dared to be so forward with Dream as a human, but like this, it was easier to be honest, to say what he thought was the truth.  If Dream tried to leave with his magic, he could simply follow.

Dream blinked at the tabby and tilted his head, confused.  It was not possible that he would have appeared as such, and the orange tabby had spent more hours in his presence, he certainly never would have been able to ascertain that he needed touch.  "How?"

Hob shrugged and flicked his tail across the grass.  "Some things are instinct, I guess.  But I was curious.  Even if you don't need a hug, you could want one.  Do you want one?"

The question (and the way his had been answered) tickled something at the back of Dream's mind, but he dismissed it in the face of the plain and clear question that had been asked of him.  He might not need a hug, but he could certainly want one, and that was a distinct possibility.  Did he want a hug?  More importantly, could he allow himself this momentary weakness, to accept such a touch from a stranger who he did not know, and could have an ulterior motive? 

"What would it do for you?" Dream asked, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.  The thought that such a weakness could be used against him had come roaring to the front of his mind, and Dream could not deny that the fear was growing by the second.  "Why would you offer it?"

Had Hob been human, he would have whimpered at those words, at the reality and truth of them.  To think that Dream had received so little open kindness in his life that a hug should be treated with suspicion, that it would need to be looked upon with this level of worry was... heartbreaking.  It only made Hob want to hug him more, but admitting any of those things would do the exact opposite and Dream would pull further away. 

"It is comfort, and everyone deserves it.  It is harmless," Hob answered instead, continuing to watch Dream. 

"Harmless," Dream scoffed.  "Foolish, more like." 

"As foolish as resting in the sun and letting it warm you?" Hob challenged, leaning down his front half into pounce position, wiggling his hips as he continued to watch Dream consider that statement.  Now, at least, there was a moment of indecision and confusion.  "When was the last time you played a game?  You worked hard.  Allow yourself to play." 

Dream started incredulously at the orange tabby who looked ready to pounce him, tension in every single one of his muscles.  "A game?  I do not have time for games." 

"You had time for sunning yourself.  And your raven said you could keep enjoying your time," Hob challenged, before leaping and pouncing on Dream, knocking him gently to the ground, before swiftly moving out of the way of his claws, lingering a couple of feet away, about to race away.  "Come play!" 

Dream narrowed his eyes, climbing back up to both his feet.  "This is my realm.  You cannot escape me." 

Hob laughed and danced on the pads of his feet.  "It is not about escape.  It is about chase.  It is about having fun."  He stepped in closer, his tail up and flicking in the air behind him as he pressed his nose to Dream's in a brief touch before pulling back.  "I promise to not make it too easy on you."  That, at least, got the growl that he wanted from Dream, and he leaped away as Dream dashed after him. 

After that, it was a wild chase through the tall grass, flowers, and small forest around them.  Hob changed his approach more than a dozen times, weaving around trees (and then avoiding them when he realized that Dream could step out of the shadows of them), when Dream, at last, pounced and he didn't see it in time, sending him crashing to the field of flowers, Dream on top of him, pinning him down.  He willingly went limp and ceded the win to Dream and then found himself with Dream on top of him and a face buried against his neck as they both caught their breath. 

"Fun," Dream breathed softly.  Like this, he could feel the sunshine bleeding from the other cat, and it was so warm, he wanted to sink into it for as long as he could.  How strange.  "I can't remember the last time I had fun." 

"Good thing that you have me here to help then," Hob said, keeping his voice cheerful, even as he felt his heart turn over in his chest.  "I'll play with you whenever you want.  Bet you'd enjoy it."  When Dream turned to narrow his eyes at him, Hob laughed and pounced on him, knocking him to the dirt again, before he raced off across the meadow.  When he heard Dream racing behind him, only a few seconds later, Hob pushed his body to the limits as they raced around each other.  It took a few tries, but soon he was leaping halfway up trees and using them to change direction, and run circles around Dream, who was getting faster and faster with each pass.  This wasn't going to last and he knew it, but in the meantime, it was fun. 

Hob was once more racing across the meadow when the appearance of a woman, the same one who had been chastizing him for sitting on Dream's throne appeared in the middle of it, looking around for them.  He stopped and turned to look at Dream, only to find himself pounced on, he and Dream rolling, only to land at her feet in a tangle of black and orange fur.  Hob laughed as they untangled themselves and the cat turned to look at the woman with a regal nod of his head.  He dusted himself off and considered going back to the castle, to wait for Dream there when he would return.  He could feel that, at least for now, they were done playing. 

Something tugged at his chest, hard and insistent and Hob paused, sitting down in the meadow as he tried to feel exactly what it was.  The other two were ignoring him, talking quietly to each other, and he took a few more steps forward.  A portal opened up in front of him and he stared at it in confusion, tilting his head to the side curiously.  It was swirling with every color imaginable, and several others that he had never seen before and stepped closer to it.  The tug was coming from inside the portal and he stepped closer to it, watching it carefully.  Dream had told him to be wary, and he was, but there was something telling him that he needed to go through the portal, and find out what was waiting for him on the other side.  Whatever it was, it was something that he needed to... to do. 

He looked behind him at the sight of Dream, now once more in the form that Hob recognized, standing with the person.  Neither of them were paying attention to him any longer and he smiled, giving a nod.  It was enough that he had managed to get Dream to play with him for a little while.  That was enough.  At least for now.  Hob turned back to the portal and leaped through it, feeling it close behind him. 

A mad swirl of colors surrounded him and laughed in delight, making him twirl and chase the spark that had appeared.  There was no path back to the Dreaming, where Dream and the woman had been standing, but that was all right.  He felt proud to have gotten Dream to smile, and to play, at least a little.  It had been good for him, he had no doubt.  Instead, he turned his full attention to the colors surrounding him and felt the insistent tugging at the center of his chest.  He sat down on the cascade of colors and let out a loud meow, but all at once, he was a human again, and the light around him was blinding as he stumbled. 

"Shit, oh, what the..." Hob clenched his eyes shut, a headache having immediately burst behind his temples now that he was a human again.  The part of him that he knew was no longer human in the back of his mind was tugging at him, trying to pull him back into the mind of the cat, where it was safer and far less chaotic.  "Who, what are you?" 

"I aM mE, oF cOuRsE!" 

The voice was a discordant bell and a chime all at once, and Hob managed a smile for her.  "Of course you are.  Can you tell me who I am?  And why I'm here?" 

"If I hAd LeFt YoU, DrEaM wOuLd HaVe FiGuReD oUt WhO yOu WeRe.  Or YoU wOuLd HaVe ToLd HiM.  YoU cAn'T lEt HiM sUsPeCt YoU.  ThAt WoUlD rUiN eVeRyThInG!"

Hob blinked in confusion against the weight of his hand and lifted it a few inches off his face to look at the young woman who was, sitting upsidedown, in mid air.  He stared at her for several long seconds before he shrugged.  Wasn't the weirdest thing he'd ever seen by far.  "Dream was going to figure me out?  Then I suppose I shouldn't go back."  The words made him sad, even as he said them, because wanted to go back and see Dream again.  Wanted to go back and play with him again, see if he could convince his stoic friend that it was his turn to be chased. 

"No, No, No, No YoU mUsT!  YoU mUsT gO bAcK!  YoU hAvE tO hElP!  PlEaSe, YoU hAvE tO hElP!"

Hob lifted his hand, and the woman in front of him didn't move, but her face had twisted to give him a frown that was comically large.  "I don't... he's my friend.  I don't know how to help him, like you said.  I don't even know what's wrong with him.  How am I supposed to know?" 

"PlAy!  LaUgH!  YoU dId iT tOdAy!  ALl Of tHoSe tHiNgS!" 

Hob swallowed and considered that, leaning back against the wall that solidified into place.  "I can try," he agreed.  "But you said he's going to recognize me.  How can I help him with anything when he's going to know that it's me?"

The dancing light in front of him around the young woman paused to consider that, and Hob waited for the answer that he knew wasn't going to come.  No matter what he did, or how he tried, if Dream was going to recognize him, there really would be no stopping his friend from being furious with him, and that was the last thing he wanted.  "Is it him I'm supposed to help?" he asked, meeting her eyes. 

She nodded, chewing on her lip.  "I gAvE iT tO yOu.  IT's GoOd FoR yOu.  YoU'lL LiKe iT.  YoU nEeD iT, tO hElP hIm.  He WoN't LiStEn, OtHeRwIsE.  He MiGhT sTiLl NoT LiStEn."  She swung her feet in the air and sighed.  "He'S sO sTuBbOrN aNd I lOvE hIm So MuCh.  BuT hE dOeSn'T hAvE fUn AnYmOrE.  I miSs WhEn hE uSeD tO hAvE fUn." 

There was something heartbreakingly sad about the declaration that Dream didn't have fun any longer, especially when it was clear that that was all that she wanted for him.  Hob swallowed and looked up at her.  "What if you told him?  I'm sure that he'd-"

"No!  He DoEsN't LiStEn.  EsPeCiAlLy NoT tO mE."  She looked at him.  "He LiStEnEd tO yOu." 

Hob pushed his fingers through his hair.  Dream had listened to him, and for what reason, he had no idea.  Dream had had no reason, but he... Tilting his head, he looked up at the young woman again.  "You said you gave me something.  What did you give me?" 

She grinned and did a flip in mid air.  "It WaA a SeEd!  I'vE bEeN hIdInG iT fOr a LoNg TiMe.  IT uSeD tO bE mInE, aNd iT sTiLl iS, bUt nOw iT's YoUrS tOo, bEcAuSe YoUr GrOuNd Is FeRtiLe, yOu'Ll Be ThE bEsT fOr iT, aNd yOu cAn UsE iT tO hElP DrEaM!"

"That didn't answer my question," Hob said, only to find that she was standing directly in front of him and had reached out to press a finger to his chest, making him inhale sharply under the pressure of it.  "What kind of a seed?  What did it... do to me?" 

She sighed and flopped over a chair that had not been there moments earlier.  "He'S nOt CuRiOuS aNyMoRe.  He'S tOo oLd.  He KnOws EvErYtHiNg, He'S sUrE oF iT.  He NeEdS tO bE cUrIoUs, So I wAnTeD tO gIvE hIm YoU!  So He WoUlD bE cUrIoUs!" 

That answer wasn't any more enlightening, but Hob could see some of the intent behind it, at least.  It was curious that she would have picked him for this, because surely there had to be better.  "And you want me to make him curious?"

She shook her head, bells tinkling in her hair in a way that had Hob smiling despite himself. 

"YoU'rE cUrIoUs, He CaN't AlSo Be CuRiOuS, hE's DrEaM!  YoU nEeD tO rEmInD hIm To Be CuRiOuS.  He LiKeS iT, hE jUsT dOeSn'T rEmEmBeR iT, aNd I mIsS hIm NoT rEmEmBeRiNg iT!"

Hob couldn't shake the feeling that exactly what he was was in that answer, but it was still out of reach and didn't make enough sense.  He sighed and nodded again.  "How do I... switch forms?  So I can be human again?" 

"CaN't, I'm KeEpInG yOu-YoU hErE!  SaFe ThOuGh, I pRoMiSe, JuSt HaVe To KeEp BeInG cUrIoUs!" 

Hob's heart jumped into his throat.  "I need to be able to be human again, what if Dream comes to visit me, he might think that I've left!"  Fear swamped over him and he moved closer to her and met both her eyes, the green one flickering to blue for an instant.  "Please, he can't think I've abandoned him if he comes to see me.  He can't." 

She nodded once.  "VeRy WeLl." 

Hob relaxed and sighed in relief.  "Only when he visits me, if he does, I promise.  I'm fine being a cat the rest of the time.  I'm having fun with it."  That, at least, had her smiling and her eyes were shining with the same light as before.  He heard the opening of a portal behind him and looked back over to it.  "Why... are you helping me?  Him?  Why?" 

A sad smile crawled over her face and she wrapped her arms around herself, a multi-colored shadow joining her.  "I kNoW tHiNgS.  DrEaM hAs tO sToP.  Or He WiLl SaY gOoDbYe." 

Another shiver of fear rolled up Hob's spine as he stared at her.  "Goodbye?"  She gave another sad nod.  "Goodbye forever?"  That made her sniffle and Hob was about to demand more information, when she pushed her hands out at him, shoving insistently at him toward the portal.  He landed, once more on four feet and looked around him.  It was not the same field as before, there was cobblestone under his paws, so Hob took a deep breath and started walking, one paw after another.  His mind was spinning, the thought of Dream saying goodbye, having to say goodbye in a way that was permanent, had something dark twisting deeper in his chest. 

That did mean one thing for certain.  Dream was in trouble, and she, whoever she was, was right about him needing help.  And there was very little (if anything at all) that Hob would not do to protect his friend and keep him safe.  Even if it meant putting himself in danger. 

Weaving between the legs of creatures that were appearing steadily, Hob kept going forward, the sun above streaming down on them, lulling him with its heat.  He wanted nothing more than to stop and stretch out to enjoy and soak up the sunshine.  But he didn't know how much time he had, or how long he had to make a difference with his friend.  He would need to go to work.  And make him... curious.  Somehow. 

The crowd was getting thicker and thicker, and with a sigh of frustration, Hob jumped up onto a railing and began walking along it instead, only to realize that he was crossing a massive bridge, and there was a line, all of it heading straight into Dream's castle.  It appeared to be lit up and decorated, as though celebrating, and he stopped to sit on the railing and observe it.  The crowd he'd been walking to was wandering in steadily, all of them being checked by the Guardians, to head inside to whatever awaited them there. 

Hob wrinkled his nose and started to make his way toward the castle once more when all of the sudden, the raven Dream had been talking to before, landed in front of him and eyed him.  He tensed and drew his claws out, glaring right back at the raven. 

"So you're finally back, are you?"

That was an odd question.  Hob tilted his head and stared at the raven.  "Was I gone for long?"

"He was worried about you, you know.  All he saw was you disappearing into a portal, and then you were gone.  He's been looking for you," the raven clacked his beak.  "You made him sad, and I hope that that makes you sad too!  He has enough to deal with, he doesn't deserve to-"

"Wait, wait," Hob interrupted.  "I don't understand.  I was being summoned, I had to go.  Where... how long have I been gone?” 

The raven cawed.  "At least a month, by my reckoning.  S'how long it took us to pull this whole party together.  Who are you, anyway?" 

"I, I don't know," Hob answered, the question frustrating him more than ever.  "But I didn't mean to stay away for so long.  I'll go find him, right away!" 

Coiling his legs under him, Hob jumped over the raven, who squawked and startled all the party goers by him on the bridge, and he began to run along the railing.  It was miraculously free of any interference, but when he came to the front of the line, the same woman was there, with the guardians of the gate hovering over her.  Hob went to run right past all of them, eager to find Dream, to be near him, and he could feel the confusion and curiosity of everyone watching him as he ran by, but he couldn't go through the door, it was protected and Hob slashed at it, then looked up at the woman, who was giving him a judgmental look. 

"So you did decide to return after all," she said, looking down at him.  "I hope you give him a proper apology.  He deserves one." 

Hob's heart was pounding, and he barely felt the barrier lower before he was racing into the castle, once more racing past feet, dresses, and shoes, dodging each one of them as expertly as he could, until he at last broke free, standing on the bottom stair of a large, winding staircase.  He took a moment to pant, trying to catch his breath, his head swimming with how far he had run in the past few minutes alone.  The marble was cool beneath him and all he wanted was to curl up on it and sleep and rest, catch his breath before he had to see his friend.  But if Dream still thought he had been abandoned, Hob wasn't going to leave him for another single second. 

Taking another deep breath, Hob heard the gasps around the crowd, and their rising confusion as he started to race up the stairs.  The buzz in the room about them, curious about what he was up to, was growing louder and louder by the time he reached the platform where Dream was spread out, one leg out in front of him, an arm resting on his knee, clearly in repose.  Galaxy black eyes, with stars at their center fell to him and Hob shuddered under their cold disinterest, before they widened in surprise.  Hob didn't wait for a single second longer, he launched himself into his friend's lap, and pressed as close as he could, nuzzling up against his chest. 

"You're back." 

The quiet surprise in Dream's voice was more painful than Hob had expected, and he pressed his head closer, nuzzling into Dream's clothes again and again, trying not to climb him with his claws, but needing to get closer.  "Course I'm back," he muttered with an annoyed meow.  "Never meant to leave in the first place, got summoned."  Those words had Dream tensing beneath him, but Hob didn't move.  "You were busy, I couldn't say goodbye, and tell you I'd be back." 

For some reason, those words had Dream relaxing under him and Hob was glad when a cool hand came up and cradled his body easily so he could rest more easily against Dream's chest with a happy sigh, continuing to nuzzle into him.  "Didn't realize the summon would take that long.  I couldn't feel the time passing, not here or there.  I would have come back sooner if I'd known." 

"It's all right," Dream said, his voice a soft murmur.  "But you have a great many people curious about you now, little one.  If you wished to keep a low profile, this was not the way to do it." 

Hob could feel how curious all of them were, about what he was, because he was not one of them, and the answer to that had him shaking his head.  He didn't know what he was, outside the fact that he had a seed of some sort, and that he was here to help Dream be curious and not have to say goodbye.  The messaging was still a jumble in his head and didn't quite make sense, he needed to sit down and think about it more.  He had to help Dream be curious, that much had been clear.  How he was supposed to do that though, that he had not figured out yet.  

On the other hand, everyone being curious about him, might distract them from being focused on Dream, and that was something that his friend would likely prefer, if he had to guess.  But right now, he would worry about all of them being curious about him later.  He needed to focus on Dream.  And to do that, he would need to find out exactly why they were having this party.  "I'll figure that out later, I'm not worried about it," he admitted, smiling at Dream, nuzzling into his chest again.  "But for now, I'm not going anywhere.  So clue me in on this party of yours.  What's the reason for it?  Are we celebrating?  Or are we doing something else?"

Dream hummed and lifted his eyes to the steadily streaming in guests and felt the weight of all their presence piling into the castle with a soft exhale.  It was a weight he was well able to bear, but he was more aware of it, ever since his capture.  He felt all of their touches, and more than that, he felt their daydreams of being able to take something from him, a piece of him for themselves and it rankled in a way ill-fitting clothing did to many Dreamers.  It was not a sensation he could chase away.  The daydreams of the cat in his lap though, of comforting him, of playing again, of lounging in the sun, they were a balm and a safe harbor in a sea of other daydreams. 

"I was gone for a very long time," Dream admitted, his voice soft.  "In that time, my kingdom crumbled.  I have been rebuilding it, and though there are places that still need to be tended to, it is repaired.  I have invited allies, enemies, and those who would remain neutral to see that the Dreaming is restored.  That I am restored.  It is a threat and a promise in one.  A promise to allies and a threat to enemies."  He inhaled again, feeling the pulse of the power that he had absorbed from his ruby.  "There are not as many allies as there were once before."  Why he'd told a cat he didn't recognize, and didn't know, that information was beyond him. 

Maybe one day Dream's quiet admittance, things that he would never say during their meetings (of that, he was certain), and Hob wanted nothing more than to wrap him in a proper hug and tell him that he would always have his support.  Not that it meant much of anything in a room of creatures of every possible type.  But it meant something, he would like to think.  He looked up at Dream and the tired expression on his face, and how he looked out at the crowd.  He looked out at the crowd and a spark of something started to grow in him, and the idea of spreading a little bit of mischief, something that might make Dream laugh, seemed like the best way to proceed. 

"Well," Hob said with a huff and a shake of himself.  "Who do you dislike the most, I'll go bother them." 

Dream's eyes widened and he looked down to the cat.  "What?" 

"You heard me," Hob answered, giving a loud meow.  "Let me go bother them.  They won't even know I'm there, I bet.  I can practice slipping into the shadows like you were before.  Then no one would notice." 

Dream stared at the cat sprawled across his chest in bemusement, shaking his head.  "Such a thing is hardly necessary and would only cause upset." 

Hob flicked Dream's shoulder with his tail and squirmed in his arms.  "It's not about necessary, it's about fun," he said, looking back down at the crowd.  He had no doubt that some of the factions present had to hate each other, and that meant the opportunity for so much fun and chaos.  "What can I say, I'm curious.  A little chaos never hurt anyone." 

"Curious," Dream repeated, his voice soft as he looked at the cat who seemed eager to bound forward and leave some sort of trail of mischief.  "I suppose that you are, aren't you?"  The piercing brown eyes of the kitten met his and he found himself pinned in place under them, watching in confusion as the orange tabby nodded once.  "You will not actually injure anyone?" 

"I promise," Hob said easily.  "No actual injuries.  However, I do not promise that they will have a good time."  Looking out among the crowd, he could already see how easy it would be to do exactly what he had promised.  "But you must make me a promise in return, lord of this realm."  Dream's focus sharpened on him and Hob could feel the worry, but he nodded readily enough.  Hob smiled at him and winked, his tail flicking up behind him.  "You don't let them know it's me."  The request had clearly surprised his friend, by the widening of his eyes, and Hob bounded out of his arms and back down the stairs at a rapid pace, bleeding into the crowd immediately.  He kept his ears peeled, listening as he moved between the swishes of dresses and feet of all shapes and sizes. 

It was strange, he was curious about all of them, but none of them seemed to notice him as he slipped between them and listened to their conversations about Dream.  Some spoke of attacking him, others avoided him and would not risk his wrath for anything.  Others spent time speaking with others, but every time groups or pairs would sneak into the more private rooms, Hob followed them, curious, and overheard more than one hinted at plot against his friend.  Only being a cat did not lend to any sort of lethality, or ability to do much.  However, he discovered that he could lock doors, and so he did, trapping them in the places they had slunk off to, to be dealt with later. 

By the time he'd made two full circuits of the room, there was quite a bit of confusion about what was going on, and Hob could feel himself feeding off of it, continuing to weave the tiny little bits of chaos that he had promised Dream, when there was a gong, and the room abruptly fell silent.  Hob looked up and saw Dream descending from where he had been sitting on the stairs, waiting at the base of the staircase.  There was an announcement and a name that he did not catch, focused as he was to get back to Dream, and to remind him that no matter who this was, he had an ally.  The crowd was parting for whoever had just joined them and Hob fought down the urge to growl as he finally broke out of the crowd a few feet from Dream. 

He sat down in the middle of the cleared space and turned to face the towering guest who was gliding forward.  Their wings were leathery and spread, but they wore an angelic white, with platinum blonde curls hovering around their smiling face.  Without being told, Hob had no doubt that this was an enemy of Dream's, and not only an enemy, perhaps the one who threatened him most.  Hob stood and took a proper step between them, biting down the growl that wanted to escape, and sat down once more, far larger than a housecat now, with much, much larger claws, and even sharper teeth. 

"Well, well, Morpheus, this is very interesting." 

Dream's eyes lowered to the orange tabby that was now the size of a panther, and had planted himself very solidly between him and the Morningstar.  He had made no threatening moves, save his growl, and had not moved, even when he appeared to be directly impeding the path of the Morningstar.  "He is his own.  Not of the Dreaming," he answered, looking down at the cat once more. 

Lucifer laughed in delight.  "Of course he is, though I am not surprised you don't recognize him," they chided, turning their attention back to the cat.  "Such a curious thing you are.  It is a wonder.  Where did you get that Seed, hm?  There should be no more of them." 

Hob felt a flood of uncomfortable ice rush down his back, but he held his ground, continuing to stare at the creature in front of him.  Their expression twisted when he didn't respond, only kept his tail swishing against the marble behind him.  But if they knew that he had a seed, and precisely what it was, that wasn't going to end well for him, so he should probably run.  "I was given it," he answered, tilting his chin up.  He was not about to lie to the creature and risk giving offense.  He had been given the Seed, whatever it was and whatever it meant. 

"So you were," Lucifer agreed, tilting their head.  "Morpheus, did you happen to have another child and called us all to celebrate the lucky occasion?  Should have been far more clear in your communication if that was the case, of course.  We would have brought gifts." 

Behind him, Hob could feel how tense Dream was, and how worried at the same time.  Dream was afraid of this person in front of him, and knowing that he was afraid here, at the very seat of his power, where he would be strongest, was enough to have Hob approaching with caution.  But it was also clear that this creature had some knowledge of what he was and how he had become what he was, which meant that he could get some answers.  "I am no child of his.  I am here, because I wish to be here.  I am what I am, and have my mission, same as any other." 

All true words, without giving a single lick of detail.  Dream would be proud of him, he thought. 

Lucifer's eyes narrowed.  "You should be careful, young Curiosity.  You are not yet fully grown into that Seed, and were you to make enemies..." they shrugged.  "It is not a wise move for an Endless so young." 

Hob took all of that information, shocking as it was, and threw it into the back of his mind to worry about later.  Now, the creature in front of him was trying to throw him off kilter and potentially risk Dream.  That he could not allow.  "Of course, though, you know what they say about Curiosity, don't you?" He approached the creature in front of him and yawned, showing off his teeth and boredom all at once.  "Satisfaction brought me back.  So perhaps it is not me that needs to worry, as long as I can be satisfied, hm?" 

With that, he nodded once more to the creature and moved past them, heading down the way that had parted for them.  Hob could feel them watching him, and with a flood of power that nearly had him gasping, he could feel their curiosity about who, and what, precisely he was as he walked away.  It was nearly enough to knock him off his feet, but he made it to a red velvet chair that he curled up on and settled into to watch the proceedings from. 

But at least now, now he knew who he was.  Hob settled far more firmly into the chair and the sense of rightness that fell onto his shoulders.  Curiosity.  He was Curiosity, and the Seed, it was something that made him similar to Dream.  Not the same, he knew that, and could feel that.  But something similar.  Something familiar that would perhaps give comfort to Dream.  The mission from the young woman made more sense by the moment, because it was possible that she was an Endless as well, just like Dream, and just like him. 

Now that he had been named by the creature in white (who thankfully did not stay long after speaking with Dream, and left with some of the more rowdy members of the crowd), Hob was approached by dozens others, who stopped in front of his chair to introduce themselves.  It was an odd experience, but now there was a great deal of attention on him and he normally wouldn't have wanted that, but he could breathe in their curiousness the closer that they got, and it was heady, like a really excellent wine.  After a while though, exhaustion was catching up with him, and he climbed off of the chair and went in search of Dream, his form shifting back to the smaller size that allowed him to move through the crowd much easier than before. 

He was more readily recognized now, several people calling his name.  All of them were curious to know more about him, to speak with him, to know what he had said to Lucifer (and that was one more thing to panic over later, that he would worry about), how close he was to Dream, where he had come from, and whether he truly was one of the Endless (whatever that meant, though the rightness of that pulsed through him at every wondering), and how he had arrived at the party the way he did.  Hob had no doubt that it was exhausting, not only for him, but for Dream, who appeared to be moving through the crowd without interacting.  Seemed like they were both done with this part of sorts, so Hob made a beeline for his friend, reaching him in an instant. 

Dream stopped in his tracks and stared down at the orange tabby, Curiosity, if Lucifer was to be believed about the cat having an Endless Seed in it, and read the frustration coming off it in waves.  He waited, staring down at the cat, until it abruptly turned and began to lead him to one of the other hallways that he had seen a great many people disappear down.  The sounds of the party faded behind him and at the same time, some of the tension fell out of his shoulders the less and less eyes were on him, until they were alone and standing on a balcony together, Curiosity sitting beside his hand as he stared out across the Dreaming. 

"Should check on the people I locked in rooms in the hallway on the way down here.  All of them were whispering one plot or another against you.  Figured locking them in the rooms would scare them enough to think that you were listening," Hob said, licking one of his paws before he settled himself easily against the banister and stretched out on it.  Dream's gaze had snapped to him and he shrugged as he focused on the stone under his claws.  "Was curious what they were getting up to and this was a good way to keep them from doing it in a more public forum." 

"I see," Dream answered, turning to look at the hallway behind them.  Interesting that Curiosity had aided him in such a way, when the Endless were forbidden from helping each other.  Though he could feel it now, what Lucifer had pointed out, because it had received a huge surge of power, the Endless Seed in Curiosity was new.  Young, a very young child as his siblings had once been to him.  He smiled faintly, remembering a time when they had all worked to learn the full force of their function, such as it was.  Before they had settled into their roles and the parts that they had to play, such as they were.  Heroes and villains did not matter, it was what they were, what they always were.  What they always had been and what they would be, despite attempts to change, they could not.  They just... were. 

Exhaustion was heavy, and it lingered.  The idea of threatening them, of ensuring they knew precisely how powerful he was now was not something he wanted, though he knew well that that was precisely what was required in this situation.  Curiosity had done him the courtesy of protecting him, in the ways that he could.  The last thing he should do is waste that kindness.  So few would think to help him in such a way, and Curiosity, in particular did not deserve his anger. 

"Actually, you know what, never mind.  Leave them to me," Hob said, sitting up on the railing, wrapping his tail around himself.  Now that he had a moment of privacy, Dream looked so much more tired than he ever could have imagined of his friend and it was worrying.  Beyond worrying, even.  "I think I know a way to take care of them."  He reached out and gently touched his paw to Dream's hand, drawing his attention once more.  "Do you need a moment of comfort?" 

Dream closed his eyes and turned his face away from the cat who had asked for... a reason he didn't even understand.  To offer him comfort, the same way that, perhaps, Hob Gadling had daydreamed of offering him comfort.  A friend, warm drinks, quiet laughter, and company, enjoying it and simply relaxing together. "What comfort would you offer me?" he asked, looking down at Curiosity.  "There is little that I can offer you, even one in your position, Curiosity." 

Hob let out a quiet purr and stepped over Dream's hand, one paw at a time, until he was standing on the railing between Dream's hands.  He settled himself carefully and then leaned back so he was pressed against Dream and began to purr louder.  It was a matter of moments before there was a strong arm wrapped around him, holding him in place, and Hob closed his eyes, sinking back against his friend, keeping up the steady purring.  Perhaps this wouldn't do more than bother his friend, but if it could bring some small measure of comfort then it was what he would do without hesitation.  He'd been so jumpy about touch, so wary of being touched and comforted, anything that he was willing to accept was better than nothing, and this was no exception. 

He remained pressed up against Dream, long fingers holding him so carefully, so gently, until eventually, there was the sound of flapping wings beside them.  Hob opened one eye to glare at the raven who was standing on the balcony, watching the both of them.  Hob wanted to squirm, but he felt the tension return to Dream, even though he'd been steadily relaxing ever since he'd stepped away from everything that awaited. 

"Yes, Matthew?" Dream asked, lifting his eyes to his raven.  Curiosity had made no movement against him and was still breathing in deep and exhaling those steady, comforting purrs.  They seemed to resonate through his entire being, a frequency that he had never felt before and it was enough to have him continuing to relax.  But now he would need to return to his duties, to those he had left behind at the party.  "They are missing me inside, I would assume?" 

"There are a few who clocked that you snuck outside, yeah.  But they also thought that you might be dealing with all those locked up folks, so no one has started misbehaving.  Luce is starting to get twitchy though, so it might be good to head back." 

Hob fought down the urge to sigh and glared at the raven as he pressed himself tighter against Dream for a brief moment before he hopped down off the balcony and over Dream's arm.  "I'll take care of the ones who are locked in their rooms," he called, and made his way back into the castle.  If he was Endless, based on what everyone at the party had been saying, he held some sort of power, and that meant it was time for him to figure out how to use it.  Especially if it would help to keep Dream safe, and make sure people weren't taking advantage of him. 

Dream watched the orange tabby go, heading down the hallway, his steps silent as he slipped into the shadows. 

"How is he able to do that?  Thought only you could do that," Matthew said, turning to look at his boss.  There was a strange expression on his face, as he watched.  "I know he's supposed to be like, partially Endless, or something, from what everyone was gossiping.  But this is your realm." 

"Indeed," Dream agreed.  It was strange, how easily the Dreaming responded to Curiosity, almost as though it knew him and knew it wouldn't be harmed by him.  That he and it were safe in each other's hands.  It was a level of mastery over the Dreaming that not even Calliope had ever been able to manage.  For it to intrinsically obey something such as locking the doors on those who would do harm to Dream was... fascinating.  And very curious.  His lips twitched and he offered his shoulder to Matthew.  "Come, let us find Lucienne, and we will see what needs to be done for the remainder of our guests." 

~!~

Hob took his time, going from room to room that had been locked, facing the people who had been in them, who were clearly terrified, exactly as he had wanted them to be.  Whether they thought Dream had been the one to lock them up didn't matter.  All that did matter was that they wouldn't mess with him.  That was all he truly cared about and making sure that Dream was safe, that he would be safe and he wouldn't be taken advantage of by these ridiculous bastards who thought they could. 

It was easier than it should have been, that was for sure.  Stopping in the center of the room, staring at each of them.  Saying nothing, watching as they babbled in fear, exposing themselves and those they had been working with.  They were so eager to speak that Hob was almost having trouble keeping up with it, because they divulged their secrets without hesitancy.  There was no loyalty in any of them, and by the time they left the room, racing past him and giving wide, large berth, he had everything he needed to ensure that Dream would be safe. 

Exerting his power on them had been an accident, it had been something he'd considered, how to use Curiosity to a lethal avenue, and it was far easier than he expected.  It was about being curious for long enough that he could influence them to follow that curiosity to wherever and whatever end it had.  Several of the endings were not positive, and Hob had to bite down the urge to bear his teeth as he imaged their ends at the hands of their own curiosity.  It was so interesting what they wondered, and a shove of his power, that curiosity became overwhelming, their sole focus and an action they had to take, not something they simply wondered at. 

Finishing with each of them, and returning to the now decidedly thinned out party, Hob debated where he would sit and watch them all.  After a few minutes weaving between all the remaining dancers, he made his way up to the platform where Dream had been sitting and reclining on earlier.  He flopped onto the marble with a happy groan, glad for the cool stone against his belly, yawning wide as he settled in to relax and watch the rest of the party slowly fade with the latest night bleeding into the dawn.  It had been almost high noon when he arrived, no wonder he was running tired.  Understandable, of course, and he knew that Dream would not begrudge him finding some rest. 

Hob yawned again and let his eyes fall shut, his focus on Dream at last fading. 

~!~

"Boss?" Matthew asked, flapping his wings.  Lord Morpheus had been standing on the step below the landing, looking at the cat spread out in his favorite sitting spot for a good couple of minutes now (he'd counted!), and hadn't moved.  Hadn't tried to move past him, or wake him up, or do... anything.  Other than stand there.  "You know you can just ask him to move, right?" 

"He is sleeping," Dream reproached.  "And he performed a great many actions that will safeguard the Dreaming in the months and years to come.  He has proven himself a staunch ally and does not... deserve to be woken from a rest he has so rightfully earned." 

Matthew yawned.  "Well, I'll leave you here to stare at him, I'm going to go catch some shut eye." 

"You do not need to sleep, Matthew," Dream reminded, looking up at his raven.  "I have said this to you." 

"Oh I know, but that doesn't mean that I don't like taking it when I can," Matthew said with a flap of his wings, launching himself into the air, heading for the door at the very top of the staircase. 

Dream returned his attention to Curiosity, watching him carefully.  He was a strange ally, to have stood up to Lucifer without fear he had, to hold court in the way that he had, and then to trap those who would have hurt him and punished them in a fashion that even Dream approved of.  He had never met the like of it, and it was... strange.  There had never been anyone else to side with him so thoroughly, especially not someone from the Endless family. 

Considering for another few minutes, Dream knelt down and carefully gathered the orange tabby into his arms, before continuing to carry him up the top of the staircase.  Curiosity had done nothing but nestle deeper into his arms with a low, pleased purr, and it was similar enough to earlier that Dream had shuddered in memory as they walked together.  Once he reached the top, he opened the door to his room and closed it behind him, keeping the form of Curiosity in his arms, and made his way to the balcony and the lounger that had been there for weeks now so he could watch over his realm, even while he attempted to finish recovering himself. 

There was an easy comfort to be taken from the weight in his arms, as Curiosity continued to purr and rumble low in his sleep while he stared out across the Dreaming, repairing small pieces that required minimal focus as he watched.  It was the work of nothing to have a forest spring up there, for a lake to be made there, for gravity to be inverted there, to give Dreams and Nightmares new places to play and explore where they could best do their work.  Where imagination could run rampant and children could have dreams of lights and colors and sounds that were nothing but softness and kindness.  Dream lost himself in focusing on the Dreaming, on ensuring that it was everything that it should have been and handled when Curiosity stirred in his arms.  Pulling himself back, disconnecting himself, it was far more of a struggle than it should have been, but he managed it and refocused on the tabby in his arms who was blinking at him in confusion. 

"Hello Curiosity."

"Hello Dream," Hob answered, yawning and snuggling back into his arms once more.  "Or am I supposed to call you Lord Morpheus here?  That's what they all called you."

It was a wonder that Curiosity knew his real name, but perhaps as a being who was partially Endless, he had simply known and had been kind enough not to use it to worry him.  There was some truth that such a use would have concerned him, would have made him suspect that he was being used, or attacked, to being taken advantage of.  To have it be something more simple felt baffling, but there was a great deal of truth to it, even like this. 

"You have not told me, what it is that you are here for," Dream said, reaching out to pet the cat in his arms, stroking through it's soft fur repeatedly, the gesture soothing for both of them as Curiosity began to purr again, and arch into each of his touches.  It was pleasant for both of them and not something that he wanted to stop.  It was... comforting, to offer this comfort to a new Endless. 

"I'm supposed to help someone," Curiosity said. "That is what I have been charged to do.  And it looks like you could use company, even if you do not need my help.  So here I am." 

"Here you are," Dream repeated, staring down at the young Endless.  It was disconcerting, to see another Endless (though not a full one as his siblings were, more like what Orpheus had been, a facet, a fragment of one of them, existing as its own being), but there was no danger to it, at least not that he could see.  "I would not have you risking yourself for me, little one.  I am well-versed in how to protect myself and how to keep my realm safe."  The sneer and shout of Roderick Burgess should not have echoed in the back of his mind, but Dream inadvertently tightened his fingers in Curiosity's fur and had to force himself to release it and let go so he didn't hurt the other Endless.  "Or at least I did, once." 

"You protect your realm very well.  I didn't even have to threaten those who were plotting against you tonight.  All I had to do was look at them, and they remembered they had seen me with you.  It was enough, and they were cowed almost immediately," Hob said, arching into the firmer touch of Dream's hand once more.  "And if anyone were to try and hurt you, they would have to deal with me.  I know I'm still learning, but I am not a kitty without claws."

Dream snorted.  "It is true," he agreed. 

Hob fought down the urge to grin like a loon when Dream snorted like that, the laugh a clear indication of Dream finding him funny, something he was already addicted to the thought of.  Completely unreasonable, but his friend deserved to laugh more.  He deserved to laugh as much as he could, and Hob would do everything in his power to try and make that happen.  "Was the night a success then?  You'd be able to judge far more than me." 

"I doubt that," Dream answered.  "You spent a great deal of the evening among all of the people there.  Many of them did not see you.  I suspect, oh curious one, that you heard a great many more things than even I did, despite it being within the halls of a castle in the Dreaming.  Besides the threats that you so readily dealt with.  What did you hear?" 

Hob settled in and sprawled himself across Dream's lap so he could expose more of himself to be pet.  A fact that Dream realized almost instantly, for the length of his palm began to stroke up and down his side without hesitation.  He melted with a happy sigh and began to talk.  He started with Lucifer and the retinue they had arrived with, who had clearly been scoping out the place in case of an attack, but they hadn't expected him to keep biting at their ankles.  It had made them jumpy, and more than one of the other factions had picked up on that and continued to poke at the demons.  It had distracted them from causing mischief for Dream, which was precisely what he wanted. 

The others, the minor gods, had seemed eager to try to establish some sort of dominance and stating that had earned him another of those preciously low chuckles that he was quickly going to become addicted to if Dream wasn't careful.  Hob purred loudly as fingers dipped into scruff and began to scratch there, his whole body becoming something decidedly more liquid.  It was a clearly a comfort to the both of them and he wasn't going to make Dream stop for anything.  After that, he went into the different fae (because there had been several different sets of them, far more divided than any of the others). 

"You are a far better spy than I would have expected, Curiosity," Dream praised, looking down at him.  The information that he'd been given would inform his actions for the next several months, including Lucifer's plan for an attack.  Though he was not surprised to hear of that, considering what had happened in the retrieval of his helm, it put Lucifer's visit into a much starker light.  Especially when Curiosity had so clearly aligned with him.  "You should be careful though.  Aligning with me will gain you enemies."

Hob hummed, biting down the usual response that he would be more than fine, that he was older than he looked, but that would not work here.  "You are the only one I wish to be allied with.  As long as you would count me amongst them, please consider me one of your allies who would never forsake you for another." 

Dream blinked in surprise down at the tabby who had made the declaration as a statement of fact and stared in confusion.  "And what have I done to earn such undying loyalty from one such as yourself?"

"Without you, I don't exist," Hob said, the words escaping him before he had more than an instant to think about them.  Even as he said it, it was the truth, and it resonated through his entire being.  "Curiosity and Dreams.  If you are not curious about the world, then your dreams would never be far and broad reaching.  And without dreams to give voice to your imagination, what is there to be curious about?"  He shrugged and settled more solidly in Dream's lap.  "I am a piece of you without being you, and it is one that I now embody.  I didn't always."  

"There is a great deal of wisdom in such a statement," Dream answered.  "I would not have expected such wisdom from one so young."  In truth, it was wisdom that rankled, and did not feel as though it fit him and applied to him.  "However, dreams would still exist without curiosity.  They are a reflection of the mind." 

Hob nodded.  "And how terrible a mind without any curiosity in it.  To wonder about the smallest thing.  Words are filled with such wonder, and there is so much possibility and chance of exploration.  All of it is so much.  An impossible amount, surely.  How could you ever be without it?" 

Dream shook his head.  "I do not have an answer for such a question." 

Hob lifted his head to look up at Dream.  Being without curiosity, that was what she had said Dream was struggling with.  That he no longer had it, but he once had and it needed to be given back to him.  Not that he knew how he was going to accomplish that, but there was at least a single obvious place to start with it.  "What are you curious about, hm?  I could name a hundred things I am curious about myself.  However, how about you, Dream.  What are you curious about?"

Dream stared out across the Dreaming for several long seconds, gathering himself for that answer.  "Curiousness implies an innocence I no longer believe myself capable of." 

Once more, Hob was glad that the sound of his heart shattering could not be heard echoing in the Dreaming, for surely it would have if he were anyone else.  Such a statement said with complete and utter finality, as though it were a certainty and not something that was simply felt.  "You don't have to be innocent to be curious.  I certainly lost any innocence a long time ago.  Being curious implies only that.  Curiosity of the world around you.  You have nothing to be curious over?"

"Curiousness implies that I wonder.  When I already know the answer to the questions I would be curious over, what is there to wonder about?  The universe is a cyclical process, and I have seen billions of years pass and it has only solidified that certainty.  It is a matter of time, but everything returns to as it once was.  The works always return to their original forms, and the story will be told over again as though it is new when it is the furthest thing possible from it," Dream answered.  Inside him, something cracked, and there was a roar across the Dreaming, something breaking that would need to be repaired in the future, even though he felt the crack down to the deepest pits of his soul.  

Hob shifted and reached up to bat at Dream's robes and his hand when it descended to pet him once more, grumbling in annoyance.  "You do not know the answer to all questions.  That is impossible.  You have, perhaps, the ability to assess a situation and understand its conclusion based on sheer weight of experience, but that does not mean you know the answer to all questions." 

"Doesn't it?" Dream answered, pausing in his petting to look down at Curiosity.  "If it is always a pattern and it always follows the same pattern, when you have seen enough of the patterns, what hope is there of being original?" 

Hob bit down the instinctual response to say that new things were being invented all of the time, because that would be a very Hob answer, and not a very kitty answer.  Or at least an answer that sounded like it should come from Curiosity.  "Originality is not a pre-requisite.  A flower that has yet bloomed - that could be any number of colors, I will always wonder and be curious about what color it shall bloom as.  A life could choose any number of paths, and I will always be curious as to which one it follows."  He shifted in Dream's lap once more.  "A few dozen letters, when rearranged, make up millions of stories.  Only a handful of letters, and there are more and more that have never been written, or wait to be written.  If there is not wonder there, Dream, I do not know what else you could call it." 

At the mention of stories, of all of the possibilities, Dream closed his eyes and nodded to acknowledge the point.  "Stories are, perhaps, an exception.  I am often curious as to the stories that are told, that find their way into my library." 

Hob grinned and nestled back into Dream's arms, pressing in closer to him with a pleased sound escaping him.  There.  A small bit of curiosity, and a small bit of wonder, given back to Dream.  That was what mattered, and what he had needed to try to get into him.  "Speaking of your library.  Perhaps you could show me such a place tomorrow?  I would like to explore it." 

"You could spend centuries getting lost in such a place, such is the size of it," Dream answered, burying his fingertips in Curiosity's fur, even as the cat continued to purr, the sound vibrating his fingertips again and again until he was almost shivering.  "I would be honored for you to explore such a place, Curiosity.  Are there any stories in particular you would like to see?"

A perfect set up for him, so Hob rolled over in Dream's lap and looked up at him, blinking innocently.  "I would love to see your favorites.  The stories that mean the most to you.  That is what I am most curious about.  I want to know what stories mean something to you and why, so I can learn." 

Dream smiled for the briefest of moments.  "Am I a curious thing to you, then, Curiosity?" 

"Oh yes," Hob agreed, wiggling in his lap before settling down once more, yawning widely before he closed his eyes and snuggled up to Dream's hand once more.  "You are the most curious thing of all, Dream.  And I want to know everything there is to know about you, and then more still.  Anything that you would be willing to tell me of yourself." 

"Anything is far too broad," Dream said.  "Perhaps a direction?" 

Hob considered that for a moment, not wanting to trip Dream into recognizing who he was, if he asked a similar question as he had as a human.  But it was still the truth.  "What happened to you that caused the need for this party?" 

Dream tensed, pressing his fingertips into Curiosity's side.  "That is a very invasive question." 

Hob shrugged and batted at his fingertips for a few more moments before he answered.  "It is," he agreed.  "But you asked for something that I wished to know about you, and this is what I have picked.  You do not need to tell me, of course." 

Dream closed his eyes and breathed in deep, feeling the steady heartbeat of Curiosity beneath him.  The words, such as they were, came far easier than they should have, perhaps.  "A magician, a man of little power and less consequence, was able to summon and capture me in the Waking World.  For more than a century, with the assistance of one of my Nightmares.  I have unmade him for the betrayal." 

Hob made a quiet rumbling noise in his chest and let the growl come to full fruition, lifting himself so he could look at Dream properly.  His friend had hinted at capture, and that what he had gone through was difficult and a betrayal, but he hadn't mentioned anything like this.  Nothing to this extent that meant he had been betrayed by those closest to him.  "Good," he added, his voice still a low growl.  "He deserved worse for what he did to you."

"Your faith is misplaced.  I have done a great many terrible things in my life, and I should not be praised for-"

"Who said anything about praising you," Hob interrupted, meeting Dream's eyes when they blinked open in surprise and found him and where he was standing, both paws planted on Dream's chest so he could get better leverage to look him in the eye.  "Everyone who has lived long enough has done terrible things, and even worse things that they regret with everything in them."  He licked his lips over his chops and leaned in, pressing his whiskers to Dream's cheek.  "If you did not have such regrets I would have assumed that you lived no life at all, so I am relieved to hear that you have lived some sort of life." 

Dream stared at Curiosity, frowning, unsure of what he meant by that.  "I deserved-"

"You did not," Hob said, his voice edging into a full growl.  "Deserve to be trapped for as long as you were.  You deserved to be told what you did was wrong.  To face consequences as a result of those actions, yes.  However, trapping you for as long as you were?  No.  That was cruelty for the joy of it.  No one could ever have deserved that.  A lesson can be taught, but that was a step beyond punishment." 

Dream said nothing, looking down at his hands and where they rested on Curiosity's sides.  "Your certainty does you credit, even if it is wrong." 

"It isn't," Hob said simply, and then altered his form a fraction so he could drape his larger form, the one the size of a panther, on top of Dream, pinning him back to the lounger with a grunt.  He smirked, proud of himself as he did, keeping him pinned in place.  Like this, he could press his face properly to Dream's neck and scent him, and keep him in place.  If Dream truly wanted to move him, he could, but until then, he was going to stay right where he was and take some offered comfort. 

"What are you doing?" Dream asked when Curiosity did not move, only seemed to nestle closer, despite how large he was likely being uncomfortable on a lounger the size he had created. 

Deciding to forgo any subtlety, Hob answered honestly.  "I'm cuddling you." 

Dream blinked.  "You are... cuddling me." 

"Yes."  Hob closed his eyes and took a deep breath, relaxing his full body weight properly onto Dream and breathed in deeply.  He could feel most of Dream's bony body stretched out beneath him and allowed himself not to worry about his weight or his bulk.  If Dream did not want him where he was, he would be moved, of that he had no doubt.  "And you are going to sit and enjoy it, and I am going to sit here and enjoy it, and afterward, we are both going to feel better, and then we are going to spend tomorrow in the library. And you are not going to argue."

Dream paused.  "Oh, am I?"

Hob felt the smile and eyebrow raise in those few words, and it was worth it, because at the same time, he could feel Dream relaxing again and that had been his true goal.  To have him relax and breathe and maybe take some room for himself, small as it was.  He deserved that.  He deserved everything.  "You are.  Or I am going to follow you around the entire time and just pin you to whatever surface I set fit until you take the time to relax yourself.  I'm sure you wouldn't want me interrupting your work like that."

"I suppose that is true," Dream agreed, still fighting a smile.  "After how well the event tonight went, I believe that a day spent in the library would not be a poor use of my time." 

Hob grinned and nuzzled into Dream's neck again with a pleased purr, continuing to stretch out on top of him.  "Then it's settled.  Now, hush and enjoy the cuddling." 

Dream closed his eyes and shifted so he had one arm wrapped around the form of the orange tabby and sank his fingers into the fur on his back, breathing in deep and slow.  Enjoy the cuddling.  What a strange command.  Especially from another Endless, who seemed determined to care for him in more than one way.  Everything that Curiosity had done tonight, from ensuring that those who would wish him harm were kept from the others and then were punished, to standing up to Lucifer, even when he did not know what he was doing, to pulling the attention of the room so it was not all focused on Dream, all of it had been a relief.  He was not alone in the room with all of them, he had someone else to lean on, who was not one of his own subjects.  It had been a relief to have at least one other person there who did support him, despite who he was. 

When Curiosity shifted to press more solidly against him, Dream allowed himself to lean forward and press his face to the soft fur on his shoulders.  Dreams did not cry, and would not, but if the finest of mists began to linger around them, well.  Curiosity still did not move and only shifted to cover more of him to keep him warm.  That, coupled with the slow, resonant purring, was enough to have him agreeing that perhaps cuddling was not an entirely wasted endeavor.  He felt lighter than he had before the party that evening, and there was none of the lingering upset that had been there beforehand.  He relaxed into the lounger beneath him and felt Curiosity do the same. 

There was no sleep for them to be found, not in the traditional sense, as they were, but Curiosity led him in his drifting across the Dreaming to a warm and comfortable dream under a shaded tree where they could both rest a moment as they dozed.  Dream sank into it, happily, without a word, and he felt, rather than saw, the pleased purr that went through the orange tabby when he shifted into a cat himself and draped himself over Curiosity, a version of his own cuddling.  The same rumbling purr as before rocketed through him, and Dream was able to close his eyes and rest for the first time since he had been freed from the glass cage. 

~!~

Hob woke to an indignant squawk and he swiped at it with one large paw, which prompted a much louder curse.  He opened one eye and looked at the raven standing beside them both, eyeing them like they were monsters.  He looked down at himself in the larger form once more and shifted back to the house cat size and looked at the raven.  Beneath him, Dream had also stirred and was staring at his raven.  None of the relaxation that had been so apparent in his limbs moments ago was there, and Hob cursed it, missing the sight of it already.  Dream always deserved to be relaxed, to be able to have that kind of relaxation.  He didn't get nearly enough of it, if today was an indication of it. 

"Matthew," Dream greeted, nodding his head.  He rested his hand on Curiosity's back, glad when he did not make any moves to remove himself.  He did not want to lose the comforting weight of the tabby yet.  "Is there anything you need this morning?"

Matthew flapped his wings.  "Luce and I finished the census.  Though you have retrieved all of the dreams and nightmares, we're short more than thirty each.  She told me that soon the duties may become unmanageable for the others if this isn't attended to."  He glanced at Curiosity and frowned, before looking back to Dream.  "Don't think she was saying get back to work, but you know her." 

"I do," Dream agreed.  "You will find me on the Shores of Creation, then, Matthew.  I would not be disturbed unless it is urgent, especially with such an extensive amount of work that needs be done." 

"You got it boss!" Matthew said, flapping his wings again.  "Hey, uh, Curious-"

"Curiosity," Hob corrected. 

"Right, right, C-man.  You want to come to the library so we can leave boss man to his creating.  He normally works in solitude."

Hob recognized the gesture for what it was and looked back up at Dream's face curiously.  The blankness there gave nothing away, and the more he watched Dream the more he became convinced that the very last thing he should do is leave Dream alone to his work.  But he didn't want to cause any sort of discord or upset between Dream and his people.  "I will be along shortly," he answered, and that was apparently good enough for Matthew, who took wing. 

Hob turned his attention back to Dream and found his face shuttered and blank once more.  None of the openness that had been there moments ago was present.  His friend was back to his usual stoic and serious self, the one he was all-too familiar with in his own world.  It made his heart ache to see it, even if he understood why Dream needed to hide behind that guise.  "Duty calls." 

"Ceaseless as it is," Dream agreed, carefully putting Curiosity on the ground before standing and changing from his formal robes to a loose set far more suited to working on the Shores of Creation.  "It is my Function.  it is not a burden."  Even as he said the words, they did not feel true.  There was a burden required with this.  He would need to do as he was bid, help to repair his realm, and that would be enough as it had always been.  But the thought of making new dreams and nightmares, beyond the few he had managed upon first arriving back, after remaking Gault, none of them had the inspiration that he would have wished for them.  They deserved better, and the skeletons of more than a dozen dreams and nightmares on the Shores of Creation was a testament to his indecision. 

"You sure that you don't want company?" Hob asked, sitting down on his paws, looking up at Dream.  The indifference on his face had almost cracked open and underneath it was an exhaustion that went so deep it was almost terrifying to look at it.  It was almost as though Dream himself was being drained, sucked dry by the demands of his function.  He was a King, but it was clear that he needed someone to share the burden with.  Or at least a way for the burden to not be so burdensome.  "I'd be happy to join you, even if I just have to stay out of the way." 

Dream shook his head.  "Enjoy the library.  It is extensive and I believe will hold many delights for you.  In the event that I am needed, both Matthew and Lucienne will be able to reach me.  I will endeavor not to stay away long, this time.  But they are right.  There is still so much work to be done." 

Hob swished his tail along the ground.  "And when do you get to rest?  When might you have a respite?" 

Dream's lips twitched and he gestured to the chair behind him.  "Last evening was, by definition, a respite.  As was the day we spent together in Fiddler's Green." 

That Dream considered those true breaks and that they were breaks, really time to rest, was heartbreaking, and Hob wanted nothing more than to pin him down again and keep him in place until he truly had a chance to rest, not just sit in one spot, waiting for the work to return.  He made a quiet plaintive noise and stepped closer, rubbing up against Dream's leg, twining around his legs.  He deserved time to rest, and he was not taking it for himself.  Ever since his capture, had these been the first moments he had rested?  After everything he had gone through?  That was even more painful to think about. 

"Worry not, Curiosity.  I am well and it is my Function.  It is what I am.  I am well-able to perform as is expected of me," Dream said, watching as the cat circled his feet once more, darting around his robe and under it before emerging to sit in front of him, watching him.  There was a look in those brown eyes that he didn't want to analyze and turned to look at the Shores of Creation.  Lucienne was right.  With the tremendous influx of Dreamers, new Dreams and new Nightmares were required.  His eyes drifted halfway shut and he chanced another glance down at Curiosity.  "I will return soon," he promised. 

Hob watched Dream disappear, stepping into a small swirl of sand that sprang up around it, reading the dismissal for what it was.  Dream did not want anyone following him to where he had gone and would deal with anything that he needed to by himself.  He frowned, watching where he had disappeared to, before he turned to make his way into the castle.  The library was not difficult to find, nor was its librarian, waiting for him at the entrance.  Hob sat down and looked up at her, studying her, waiting for whatever it was that she would say to him.  The silence stretched on as she continued to watch and study him, making him want to squirm under the regard.  He didn't need this.  He could come and go as he pleased.  He could go to Dream, to wherever he was and at least give him company so he was not in solitude and alone.  How much of his work did he do while he was alone? 

(The thought was more heartwrenching, and Hob spared a moment to wonder if things with Dream would ever not be heartbreaking.) 

"He does not need a minder." 

Hob continued to stare at her.  There was a difference between a minder and someone who cared and Hob knew damn well that he fell into the latter category.  He cared, he loved his friend, and to see him so worn down (far more than he had looked when they had last met up) was painful and he wanted to help.  "I would not assume to be his minder." 

She narrowed her eyes.  "Then you need to understand-"

"But he does need those who care about him.  How long, since he returned, has he rested?  Or has it been one crisis after another?" Hob challenged, looking at her, his tail swishing angrily.  By the way her lips thinned, he had his answer.  "You care for him.  But you place just as much pressure on him.  He needs space and time to heal." 

"There are duties that must be performed," she said.  "He manages the collective unconscious.  He cannot simply stop.” 

That was the crux of the problem, after all of it.  That Dream could not simply stop what was required of him, his role, his function, everything that he was.  The idea of him being able to stop for a break was... was truly impossible.  There was no possibility of it.  Which meant that all he had was to keep going, to keep pushing until eventually, he could do that no more.  Instead, Hob turned his attention back to the librarian in front of him. 

"Everyone, every being, has a point at which they break.  They cannot go forward, they cannot do more.  They are bent until they break."  Hob stared at her and watched fear flood into her eyes before she looked beyond him, up at the throne.  "I would never see him break.  But he is being pushed to his limits.  I know that you can see it."

"Everything that happened has... taken a toll," she allowed, turning her back on Curiosity to lead the way into the library, feeling him follow her to the desk where she had been working.  "Understandably so, considering what has happened.  I believe that he did seek his sister out for advice, as he has been struggling, but I do not know that it offered any solace to him.  He has been like this since then." 

Hob leaped up onto an empty chair and faced her, considering that for long moments.  So Dream had been summoned, trapped, for more than a century, had broken out, and he'd mentioned retrieving his tools, fighting for his ruby that destroyed it, then... there had been more.  Whispers of a vortex, that had happened, that he had heard at the party.  "Tell me about the Vortex.  What happened with all of that?"  By the way her face fell further, Hob had a feeling that he would very shortly know precisely why Dream looked as exhausted as he did. 

The full tale took mere minutes to relate.  A necessity of Dream's function, the death of a being that was designed to tear the Dreaming apart, that existed for some reason, every few thousand years.  Nearly spilling family blood, finding out that they were family he had not known he had.  Hob dug his claws into the wood of the chair beneath him, his chest rumbling with a growl that wanted to escape.  And to find that all of it, his captivity, the near spilling of family blood had been orchestrated by a sibling?  By family? 

No wonder Dream looked like he was barely holding things together.  Hob gave the librarian a look and settled back into his chair, thinking.  He would need to be careful if he wanted to try to take care of Dream, especially if he wanted to do it without causing offense.  He'd already done that once and that was more than enough for a single lifetime.  He wanted to support Dream, to help him, but there wasn't much that he could do in this form, other than pinning Dream to the bed, or some other flat surface to make sure that he rested.  Though, perhaps that idea had merit. 

"I should go to him," Hob said, pacing along the edge of the table when sitting became too much.  That statement was enough to draw the librarian's eyes to him and a sharp frown. 

"He is not to be disturbed when he is working.  He needs solitude and silence for the delicate work of crafting new dreams and new nightmares.  He has told me this himself many times," she corrected.  "If you approach him now, and go to visit him, you will find that you do nothing but put him further behind in his work." 

"I might also be able to make him rest," Hob countered.  "And if there is one thing he looks like he needs, it is rest.  A good meal, and rest."  He could see that she didn't disagree with the challenge of his words, and that made it all the worse.  But for now, he would listen, and wait.  Perhaps Dream would return of his own volition.  He settled himself down at the table to... wait. 

Time passed, as Hob watched the librarian work.  It was hard to tell just how much time was passing, as things appeared to move differently in the Dreaming (which made sense, Dreams could encompass years or seconds when you wanted them to), but Hob could feel the weight of time passing.  After a certain point, clouds rolled in across the sky and the librarian (Lucienne, if Matthew was to be believed) watched them with worry and trepidation.  He had a feeling that it was much more than rain that she didn't enjoy. 

Hob took to lounging against the window, waiting for Dream to return like he had promised, but the only thing that happened was the sky getting darker and darker, the clouds hovering low to the ground, as though they were ready to rain, but they did not.  They remained a constant threat, but they did not release the water they held.  However, the sight of them was enough to make everyone at the castle tense.  Which meant he was missing a crucial bit of information.  Curious, he made his way over to Lucienne, and sat on the table in front of her and cleared his throat. 

"You should still not visit-"

"I'm not asking about visiting him," Hob interrupted, cutting that line of questioning off in an instant.  Somehow, that relaxed her immediately and she turned a more considering eye to him. 

"Then what are you curious about Curiosity?" She asked, watching him over the rim of her glasses.  "I can see that it is something." 

Hob had to wonder what, precisely, she could see in him, but he answered, easily enough.  "Why do you all hate the weather?  Everyone keeps looking up at the clouds like rain is going to make them melt.  What is wrong?  Will you melt?"  Surprisingly, that was enough to make her lips twitch before she grew solemn once more and looked up at the sky again before she looked back down to her books, considering. 

"The weather is a reflection of my lord's mood.  If he is distraught, it is difficult for him to control, and it is reflected in the weather the Dreaming experiences.  Thick clouds like this..." she trailed off and looked to them again.  "But without the absence and sorrow of rain?  I do not know what it means." 

The weather was a bloody mood ring.  Fuck.  No wonder everyone was watching it so worriedly.  They knew it meant whatever mood was in wasn't a good one and wanted to steer clear of it as much as they could.  He couldn't fault them for that, but none of them were trying to do anything to prevent the clouds from releasing their deluge.  "Why hasn't anyone gone to talk to him to see if he's okay then?  If this is the weather we're having.  And I know, I know he requires solitude, but you can see that he isn't okay?  So why are you just sitting here?" 

She looked down at the books in front of her.  "It is not our place, as his creations, to question him, and his mood, and his actions." 

"Yeah that's a load of bullshit, but if that's what you're going to hide behind, that's fine," Hob said, standing up.  "I'm not one of his creations and I don't give a shit, so I'm going to go find him."  He didn't wait for her to offer another protest, instead jumping down off the table, striding for the door.  The doors at the rear of the castle were open and Hob sprinted for them, stretching his body out as he started to run.  Small drops of rain began to hit his fur as he stepped into the grass of the Dreaming proper, beyond the bridges. 

Hob took a deep breath and tried to see if he could feel Dream.  He had gone to a place where he would create, but here, in the world that he had built, everything tended to be slowly pulled toward him, and Hob followed that sense of gravity that he could feel continuously tugging at him.  It was a longer journey than he expected, likely because he couldn't just jump into a portal as Dream did, but he hoped that not enough time had passed to be concerning yet.  The rain was starting to come down harder, steadily, and as awful as that felt on his fur, Hob kept going. 

Eventually, the grass beneath his paws gave way to the beach, and abruptly, all at once, Hob was standing on a beach, and Dream was only a dozen or so feet away, the skeletons of dozens of creatures surrounding them.  Dream was in the middle of them, his shoulders hunched, clearly trying to do something and not succeeding in the way that he wanted to.  The clouds were just as dark here, just as prevalent, just as dark, and the rain was starting to come down harder.  Hob squared his shoulders, lifted his tail, and began to walk across the sand, until he was sitting on a rock, a few feet away from Dream (who had not noticed him yet, from what he could tell), and settled in to be there for his friend as much as he could. 

It was only when a lightning crack broke the sky above that Hob watched Dream yank himself away from the creation in front of him, pinching the bridge of his nose with a heavy sound escaping him as he breathed.  The lightning immediately subsided, and so did the rain, and it looked like it was because Dream was trying to force himself to be controlled, before he turned and saw Curiosity.  Hob sat up and wrapped his tail around his feet, watching Dream as he approached.  It was almost as though the thunderclouds had gathered around him, his face a stormcloud in and of itself in its frustration and fury. 

"Did they send you here to complain about the weather?" Dream asked. 

His voice held the echoes of thunder in it, and Hob felt it wash across him in a wave of power.  Dream was a raging storm, barely contained, barely holding himself together, even as he stared in Hob in anger and frustration.  "No," he answered, lifting a paw to lick it.  "No one sent me here, and I have not come here to complain about the weather." 

"Is there some sort of urgency that calls me back?" Dream challenged.  "Another burgeoning issue that I must deal with instantly?"

Hob could feel the almost begging tone in that question.  Dream very clearly wanted to be pulled away from the work that was not working out for him as he wanted to, wanted something, anything, to pull him away from what he was doing.  Even a fight.  It was a desperation that Hob was far more familiar with than he wanted to be, and it made him ache for his friend.  "No.  No issue, nothing that I could tell you needs to be addressed in this moment.  Everything and everyone appears to be well.  They are, as you said, worried about the weather, but no one has expressed anything to me." 

Dream deflated, turning away from Curiosity, facing the creation that he had been unable to finish for hours now.  "Then you have no reason to be here, and should leave."

"I have every reason to be here," Hob corrected.  "My friend is here, and I thought he could use company." 

"You thought wrong," Dream snapped, reaching up to press his fingers to his temples.  "I need solitude, and silence and-"

"Precisely what I was giving you before you stormed over here to yell?" Hob interrupted, meeting the furious gaze of his friend.  It was a challenge that he never would have issued had he been human, he never would have tried to press this hard and risk his friend walking out on him forever.  But like this, he knew, without a doubt that anywhere Dream ran to, he would be able to follow, and that meant no more running, not truly. 

Dream clenched his hands into fists.  "I do not need a minder, someone to watch over and coach me as though you could know how to do my job better than I do!"

Hob spared a few seconds to wonder about all of the people in Dream's life who had clearly taken advantage of him in one way or another, because it was clear that they had done all of these things, and he was assuming that more of that would be forthcoming.  "I would never presume to tell you how to do your work better than you do," he pointed out.  "Not only would it be blatantly untrue, it would be foolish." 

"Then why are you here?" Dream asked, his voice a whipcrack of thunder across the space.  "Why have you come to interrupt me, to distract me, to pull me away from my work, to have this inane at best conversation?"

Hob watched his friend, and the way his whole being seemed to crumple in on itself after the shout.  There was so much regret in his face after his outburst, he spared a moment to wonder if all those who had been with Dream had never truly understood that he, as everything that he was, would be as mercurial as Dreams often were.  Had they judged him for such outbursts of anger and frustrations?  Likely, which had meant he would have tried to control himself more tightly, which led to more outbursts.  No wonder he was all tied up in proverbial knots. 

Dream took a slower breath, staring at the cat who was still watching him, calm as you please, despite his shouting.  "Why are you here, Curiosity?  There is nothing that I can give you here.  There is only work that I must finish and that I am struggling to accomplish.  Would you see me struggle?" 

The pain in that sentence was enough to have Hob's breath punched from his chest, and he leaped off the rock, stepping into the wet sand once more, padding his way over to Dream, and the way his robes had become immaterial wisps around his feet.  He paused and sat down in front of Dream, looking up at him once more.  "Of course not.  I would never come with the purpose of seeing you struggle.  The sky had gone dark, everyone was worried, and that made me worry for you.  Not for the weather, not for the people of the Dreaming, not for anyone other than you."

"You were worried about me," Dream said with a scoff.  "I am perfectly well, Curiosity." 

Hob didn't say anything in response, merely kept staring at Dream, and the certainty of those words faded into the quietly rumbling thunder around them.  The expression on Dream's face fell slowly, and they watched each other, as the bravado slowly fell away from Dream, and all that was left was a man, or a being that appeared as a man, who looked exhausted beyond all possibility and he was holding himself up by sheer will alone.  

"How long have you had to be perfectly well?" Hob asked him, keeping his voice low. 

Dream closed his eyes in pain and inhaled slowly.  "I am always well.  I am Dream, a personification.  I don't-"

"Answer my question, Dream," Hob challenged, meeting furious galaxy eyes in an instant.  It was a challenge, he knew, but it was one that Dream could rise to, it was just a matter of pushing and nudging him to do so.  "How long have you had to be perfectly well so you did not worry others?" 

Dream snapped his mouth shut and scowled.  "I am fine." 

Hob hummed.  "Perhaps if you continue to say it enough, it will become true.  But forcing yourself to be as much only means that when you do find a moment to break down and be upset, it will be worse than it ever could have been before."  He paused pointedly.  "It is all right if you are not fine, considering all that has happened to you.  It is more than all right, it would be almost expected."

"The Dreaming, the Dreamers," Dream emphasized.  "Need me to be fine.  Need me to be well.  Need me to be able to take care of them." 

"Which is all well and good," Hob allowed.  "But what happens when you are no longer fine and well and you are not able to take care of them?"  Dream's silence spoke volumes and Hob wanted to wrap him up in his arms as Dream seemed to fold in on himself, sitting on the rock that Hob himself had been relaxing on as he stared at the sand beneath his feet.  He waited a few seconds before he leaped up and into Dream's lap, settling across his bony thighs.  In a moment, fingers were buried in his fur, petting him as Dream looked around him. 

"I do not know why this time is different from all the others," Dream said eventually, his voice soft.  "This is not the first time I have experienced pain.  Not the first time I have experienced something similar to this.  And yet, nothing feels quite right.  It is as though there is a skin on top of mine that is separating me from everything.  It does not feel right.  It cannot feel right, and I do not know how to fix it."  He lifted his eyes to stare at the nightmare on the sand behind them. 

Hob purred quietly, letting it rumble in his chest so that it would maybe resonate through Dream as well.  He deserved that, to feel that and to be grounded, at least a little, in the now.  "You lost a great deal to the actions of others.  It is only reasonable-" He stopped when Dream seemed to vibrate under him, a wave of something sweeping over him so obviously that Hob stopped, cut off by the feeling.  "Dream?"

"My pride," Dream said, staring out across the sand.  "I lost everything that I did to my pride.  My sibling wished to do this to me because of my pride.  My pride kept me from speaking to my captors, kept me from calling out to one of my siblings for help.  What I lost, as you succinctly put it, is the fault of myself and myself only." 

Hob lifted his head to look up at him.  "You did not imprison yourself." 

"My actions led to it, it is a path I can see as clearly as I can see the clouds now.  It stretched out before, me, easy.  Rather than learn, attempt to be better, to do better, all I did was force others to suffer my pride," Dream said, staring out across the Sands of Creation.  "Is it any wonder that I can no longer create?  As though the ability has been robbed from me?  It is what I have deserved." 

Shifting in Dream's lap, Hob reached up and put his paws on Dream's chest, meeting his eyes as readily as he could.  He waited for a few seconds, their eyes meeting.  "You did not deserve what happened to you, no matter your pride.  You did not."  He leaned in and pressed their noses together.  "No one deserves to suffer as you did."  A tremble went through Dream under him and Hob felt him leaning back to rest against the rock, with him sprawled on top of him. 

Dream considered that for long seconds, staring at the gray sky of the Dreaming, letting the silence stretched between them, before he offered, almost too quiet to be heard.  "I do not believe you." 

Hob closed his eyes and let out a rough breath, the truth of that making his very soul ache.  He'd guessed as much, that Dream had believed himself deserving of punishment, and that everything he was suffering was his fault.  But hearing it spoken, even if only between them and the sand, made it all the more real.  It was agonizing, painful, and now neither of them could avoid it, but perhaps they would now be able to find a way forward.  It was what they needed, truly.  He just had to keep working as best he could to make Dream laugh and to be curious, exactly as he had been bid. 

"You don't have to believe me," Hob said eventually, resting his head on Dream's neck.  "I'll believe it enough for the both of us."  Though that made Dream tense beneath him, it did make the clouds above them start to dissipate and he watched them as they slowly faded away until they were nothing but faint haze preventing the most direct sunlight.  It was much better than it had been, even if it wasn't exactly where he'd wanted to get to.  But Dream was not stuck in his own melancholy, at least for now, and that was an improvement on the rain. 

Hob allowed them to sit there, breathing in the sea air, reclining together, for several minutes (it could have been days or weeks, who knew), breathing in deeply, until he stood up on Dream's chest and leaned down to touch their noses together again.  "I have a suggestion," he said, waiting for Dream's eyes to open, slow and lazy, to look at him.  "Take me on a tour of the Dreaming.  I have seen Fiddler's Green and your castle, and now here.  Take me on a tour of the rest.  Show me what you have spent millennia building." 

Dream blinked and frowned at him.  "Why?  You are quite capable of exploring it on your own.  You have showed as much."

"Because you built it," Hob challenged, his voice soft.  "Because I want to see it through your eyes as its builder, not just my own, and because I think it would do you good to go back and realize the places you loved creating and why.  Maybe it will help you with what you are struggling with here." 

Dream frowned, but acquiesced to the logic, at least for the time being, sitting up slowly, looking at the shells of the dozen nightmares that he had been attempting to create, frowning at the sight of them all.  There was nothing for it, he would need to begin entirely again at a later time.  Perhaps Curiosity was right, a tour around the Dreaming would do him good.  He could make sure the repairs were taking as they should, and that his dreams and nightmares were once more settling in as they should and finding their places in his kingdom. 

"Where would you like to start, Curiosity?" Dream asked, looking down at him.  "If this is to be your tour." 

Hob shrugged and climbed off of Dream to sit beside him on the rock.  "No idea where we could start.  Guess you'll just have to take me everywhere, won't you?"  He teased.  There was a flash of a small smile on Dream's lips and Hob counted that as a victory.  Whether it was or not didn't really matter, he'd managed to make Dream smile.  Even if only for a moment.  "Pick a place.  I promise that I shall enjoy it, no matter what." 

"A poor promise to make, I could take you somewhere terrible," Dream said, his sand rising around them.  "Take you to visit the land of the Nightmares, the Sea in which they reside." 

Though he wasn't eager to go swimming with Nightmares, Hob forced himself to give another shrug.  "If that is where you wish to take me, then that is where we will go." 

Dream smiled faintly and shook his head.  "Not to start, I think."  There were far better places for him to take one such as Curiosity.  His sand leapt to his command in seconds and Dream led Curiosity through it and much deeper into the Dreaming.  There a great many things that he could display and show off, and perhaps in the process, he would find whatever it was that he was searching for. 

~!~

The Dreaming was more beautiful than Hob had ever thought possible, and he'd seen a great deal of it in his first few days.  Between the library and the throne room and the castle, it was clear that Dream had an eye for beauty.  But so much of it was an untouchable sort of beauty.  The kind of beauty that you didn't want to muss, just wanted to sit back and admire.  It felt very much like being back in court again, all of the gems on display that were meant to be seen, not worn or touched and handled.  Everything else that Dream brought him to, everything on display, though Hob could see that there was more to it, Dream's impassivity remained.  He spoke of things as beautiful, and even smiled as he showed them off, but he still seemed disconnected from it all, almost as though he didn't know how to reach out and touch it any longer. 

More than one Dream (and a handful of Nightmares they had run into) stared longingly after Dream, as though they wanted him closer, but didn't know how to ask for it, and the more Hob saw, the more it was clear that the film on his skin that Dream had mentioned was affecting everything, but none of them knew how to break through it.  It was worrying, because it would be a matter of time before it started impacting everything else that Dream was doing, if it wasn't already.  Hob took his time introducing himself to everyone, while Dream stood back and watched.  He'd caught sight of a few more smiles that had burst out on his face, but nothing that had lingered, nor did Dream try to join the conversations with his creations.  He held himself back, apart from them all.  They were a part of him and that was enough, he would not let himself revel with them. 

Cain and Abel, as they stopped at their houses was the first time that Hob saw a hint of what Dream might have been before his captivity.  He spoke so gently with them, but with a faint hint of teasing, asking after their gargoyle Gregory, and introducing them to Hob.  They had all talked together, while Hob had asked them questions, and it had felt the most right out of the entire exploration of the Dreaming.  It did not feel as though it were forced, and when he was offered tea, Hob accepted it heartily, and even Dream sat down at the table, listening to his creations as they spoke together and sipped his tea.  It was the first time he didn't ache for Dream as they moved together, even though they had to say farewell soon enough. 

Once they had stepped away from them, Dream brought him to Fiddler's Green, and the first thing Hob did was to flop into the wonderfully warm grass under the still hazy sun.  Dream sat down beside him but did not say anything, did not attempt to add to their conversation, and he debated saying something, but.  He didn't think that it would help.  So instead, Hob draped himself on top of Dream and let himself enjoy the sun, purring loudly as he did.  Some things were universally enjoyable, and sitting in the sun was one of them.  For his part, Dream did not say anything either, but he appeared just as listless as he had been before, as though he were not fully grounded in the moment, not attached to things like he had been before. 

It was worrying. 

However, for now, Dream was at least not trying to force himself to work, and was relaxing in the sunshine, so he would take the victories where he could get them.  Hob was reasonably sure that he wouldn't be able to bait Dream into another chase across Fiddler's Green (no matter how much they would both enjoy it), so this seemed like the next best thing.  After a little while, Dream lifted his hand and began petting him again, as though he hadn't realized he wasn't and then began again.  Hob kept up the purring, louder than ever, and nestled into the robes that were curled around Dream. 

The sun slowly gave way to a clear night of stars above them, and Hob opened one eye to admire them, before he realized they were the same stars that were in Dream's eyes, sitting up on his lap to stare up at the sky.  It was almost as though Dream's eye was the night sky and it was blinking at him, watching him from a much, much larger form.  They were beautiful, though they had no bright, blinding light at the center as Dream's eyes had.  But the stars were beautiful.  He couldn't see stars like this unless he went to specific spots in the world, and even then, it was nothing like it had been a few centuries prior.  The day that humanity was able to explore the stars was the day that Hob would be grateful that he could once again enjoy those same evenings, staring up at the stars. 

"I am glad you are here, Curiosity." 

Dream's voice was unexpected, and Hob looked down at him, tearing his eyes away from the stars.  He tilted his head and made a quiet inquisitive sound.  Granted, it was a relief to know that he wasn't bothering Dream, that he hadn't been a burden to him, it had come out of nowhere with no prompting whatsoever.  So he looked down at the dream lord and waited for him to elaborate.

Dream turned his eyes back up to the stars and stared at them for a long moment.  "However you came to be, I care not.  But that you are here is enough.  Curiosity was once a part of my younger sister, before she changed.  She hadn't lost it, but the same... pleased innocence that you have, that she did not have.  She'd said once she lost it.  I'm pleased that it has found a place in you, such as you are." 

The combination of the compliment, the story about his sister (that had to be who the young woman was - one of Dream's siblings!), were all unexpected, and Hob wasn't quite sure how to respond to them, but he curled up against Dream's chest once more, glad when long fingers descended into his fur.  "I'm glad I'm here too," he offered up, his voice soft.  It was the truth.  No matter that his life he had left behind had no doubt been thrown into disarray with his disappearance, he did not regret coming here, to be with Dream, to hang out with him, and get to see him in a way that he kept hidden in the waking world.  "I wish there was more that I could do to help." 

Dream sighed and closed his eyes, reclining back against the grass.  "There is no help to be had for an Endless, and such are our roles.  It is our fate as what we are, collectives and personifications.  It is not a detriment, it is only what it is," he stated, plain and soft.  "To be tired by it would be to be tired by our core function and what we are.  It would indicate that we are not what we should be.  That something is broken.  And such a thing, as it is, does not have a way to be repaired." 

"Then what happens?" Hob asked, feeling the curious part of him surge forward, because there was something there, something haunted in Dream's words, as though he had already had all of these thoughts and reached his final conclusions on them.  "If you are being tired by your core function?"  Worry shot through him, growing stronger by the second.  Hob felt the way that Dream tensed beneath him and wanted nothing more than to hug him tight, because it was clear that was a question Dream had been asking himself, even if he didn't want to admit it. 

"I do not know," Dream answered.  "I do not want to find out." 

So he would return to the work, because that's what he was, and what he knew, and there was no getting out of this spiral.  Hob settled a little closer, digging his claws in a little more to Dream's robe, wondering if there was anything that he was supposed to do in this situation.  How could he offer anything to Dream like this?  Giving him curiosity, or making him laugh wouldn't suddenly make him enjoy doing his function anymore, and that was where the problem truly sat.  There was nothing he could do to fix those things for Dream.  Absolutely nothing. 

And that realization was far more devastating than he wanted to think about.  So he did all that he could, cuddling closer and soaking up the sunshine, hoping that his presence would let Dream take a few extra seconds for himself to do the same.  Maybe if he tried to force Dream to get enough rest, he would be able to recover and feel more fulfilled by his work.  There was joy for him here, he could see the hints of it when Dream talked about the library, or smiled at Matthew, or when he looked out across the Dreaming.  But all of it had been tempered and beat down by other things.  It needed to be unleashed again, but hell if Hob knew precisely how to do that. 

--

They sat in the sun for much longer than Hob would have thought Dream would allow, but perhaps he was avoiding going back to work, and avoiding those who would tell him to go back to work.  Here, like this, there was no one to push him and no one to require anything of him.  But, running from responsibility wouldn't accomplish anything either, and eventually, Hob stood up and sat down on Dream's chest and looked at his face, pale and gaunt cheekbones as it was.  He leaned down to nuzzle Dream's cheek, rousing him and bringing him to wide awake.  There was an upheaval of a sigh beneath him and then Dream was sitting up as well. 

"You are right, Curiosity.  We must go back." 

The resignation in Dream's voice had him aching down to his very bones, but he nodded and hopped off of Dream and together they made their way back to the castle.  Lucienne was waiting for him and informed Dream that there were many who wanted to meet with him.  That led them to the throne room and Dream settled on the landing, the same one that he had been occupying for the party.  Hob watched him sprawl out and then on a whim, climbed up and sat down beside him, stretching out on the marble.  He wouldn't interfere, but at least Dream would not feel like he was alone all of the time. 

"You do not need to stay if you don't wish to, Curiosity.  I know there is nothing to be curious about here," Dream said, reaching out to pet the cat beside him.  "There cannot be much of a draw here, anymore, now that you have been here for a while." 

Those words couldn't have been more wrong and Hob wanted to scream them from the mountaintops.  But the sad smile that twisted Dream's face was a resigned one, and he turned his attention to the people who were steadily filing into the throne room.  Hob settled into place and observed them as they came in, one after another.  Some of the requests were easily granted, and some of them were simply dreams and nightmares wanting to spend time with their lord.  Dream did his best to give them everything they asked for, promising to investigate those that they could not.  Promise after promise, request after request, all of it was leveled at him and Hob was amazed that he did not buckle under the pressure.  There was so much everyone was demanding, and Dream gave.  He did not stop giving, and promised to do everything that he could for them. 

When the tide of dreams and nightmares at last ceased, Dream accepted a book from Lucienne and began reviewing it as she rattled off information so fast that Hob could barely keep up with it.  But Dream nodded and asked questions, the hunch to his shoulders getting more and more pronounced by the second.  He wanted to shout for all of them to stop, to see what they were doing to Dream, but this was his responsibility and he was being crushed under it.  Anyone would have been.  Now he understood why Dream's sister was so worried, because it was obvious to see if you were looking for it.  Dream was sad, and unhappy, and even when he finished with the ledger, and took a book to read for pleasure, there was so little pleasure in it, that Hob took charge, hopping into his lap, making Dream startle. 

He looked up at Dream and let out a meow.  "I am going to read to you." 

Dream raised his eyebrows, bemused.  "You are going to read to me, Curiosity?"

"Yes," Hob answered, and gestured for Dream to put the book down so Hob could sit in front of it.  Keeping his claws retracted, he turned the page easily enough, cleared his throat, and began to read.  Dream's eyes widened, but he obligingly shifted to watch and listen to him.  For the first time in hours (days?  maybe more), Hob watched his friend start to relax as he read his way through the story.  He gave Dream's fingers an appreciative lick when a glass of water was summoned for him to sip out of after several dozen pages.  It was a relief, and he focused on the book again and resumed reading.  Out of the corner of his eye, he had noticed both Lucienne and Matthew go to step into the throne room, take one look at the two of them before leaving once more.  Whatever it was that they saw, they were loathe to interrupt it, and that was just fine with him. 

When he stopped for another break to sip some water, Hob felt Dream's hand land on his back, and a bookmark was lovingly tucked between the pages of the book before it was set aside.  Hob looked up at Dream, about to protest, when he was suddenly swept up into the arms of Dream, and he was being carried up the stairs once more.  The door was shut behind them not long after, and Dream had still not let go of him.  It was heartbreaking in the worst way, but Hob waited, he did, as Dream locked the door behind him and started to walk out to the lounger, before he paused and stared at it. 

"Do you have music?" Hob asked, when Dream seemed frozen, unable to make himself go out onto the balcony once more. 

Dream startled and turned back to Curiosity, looking down at him.  "Music?"

"Yes.  Might we listen to music and sit by the fire?  You could keep reading, or I could read something else?  Or you would you prefer something else?" Hob offered.  He knew sometimes, when you were feeling listless and untethered, making decisions was the most difficult part of anything.  If he could take that away from his friend, then he would. 

"What... would you like?  To listen to," Dream clarified after a pause. 

Hob hummed, considering that for a long moment.  He looked in the corner of the room  and debated offering up something as his own recommendation.  "What is a piece of music you think I will find curious?"

Dream chuckled.  "Now that is an answer worthy of curiosity," he praised, stepping closer to the fire with Curiosity still in his arms.  He sat down in one of the chairs in front of the roaring fire and music began to play softly behind them. 

The sound of that chuckle made his heart soar, and Hob nearly laughed as the songs that Dream had selected hopped from one genre to another without any care whatsoever.  It was refreshing and he was curious about what would play next, exactly as he'd asked for.  "Would you like me to read?" He offered, looking up at Dream, only to find Dream shaking his head, leaning back against the comfortable chair he had fallen into.  "All right."  He settled back into Dream's lap and began purring again.  If Dream did not want him to do anything, then he would focus on doing what he could - offering comfort to a clearly exhausted being. 

There was a sad twist to Dream's lips as they sat together, listening to whatever came up to play in the room, while he was pet, again and again.  Hob couldn't help feeling that there was something Dream was considering, as though he wanted to... to say goodbye.  He clung tighter to Dream and buried his face deep into Dream's robes, not wanting him to leave, but the aura of sadness that seemed to be lingering around him was getting thicker by the second.  "You seem sad," he offered up, after more than a dozen songs had played and Dream had said nothing. 

Dream stared at the ceiling, the words echoing quietly.  "Sad," he repeated.  "The endless don't get sad.  We simply are what we are.  Personifications of dreams.  Perhaps there are simply sad dreams right now." 

Hob had never heard something more ridiculous in his entire life, and while it was nothing compared to Dream's lifespan, it was still true.  "Even personifications can get sad," he challenged.  "I'm one, sort of, right?  And I can tell you I can get sad.  With confidence, even." 

Dream looked down at Curiosity, confused, humming low in his throat.  "Can you?  That is disheartening to hear.  I would not wish Curiosity to be sad.  You should be boundless joy and excitement." 

"No one can be that all of the time," Hob pointed out.  "There is always balance.  Just like Dreams and Nightmares.  There is always balance to one with the other.  That is simply how existence works."  That, at least, got an understanding noise out of Dream and Hob allowed himself to settle again.  "But you seem sad.  And I wish that I could help." 

Dream stared into the fire and the way that it danced and cackled, and cast warmth across the room.  It reminded him of the fire in the White Horse, and the fire in the New Inn, with the quiet laughter and happy joy amongst the dirt of the Waking World.  And in all of that, there was Hob.  Hob who was waiting for him to visit, to see him again.  Hob who would be so happy to see him.  He would light up, and smile, and Dream would... would sit down and absorb all of it.  Unable to touch it himself, unable to feel it himself, he would steal it from Hob, moment to moment, until the time would come for him to leave. 

"I am simply as I am," Dream answered, even though he could not imagine being filled with the same easy happiness and joy that Hob Gadling was.  Perhaps when he was far, far older, when he had faced more unkind centuries than kind ones, that joy and happiness would steadily start to fade until... He shook himself and frowned.  No, Hob had always been himself and would continue to be that.  He was certain of it. 

"Are you all right?" Hob asked, butting his head into Dream's palm.  He had gone worryingly still, only to be jolted once more into movement, as though he had gotten lost somewhere within his own head.  Concerning as it had been, he did seem to be all right. 

Dream nodded.  "I am, yes.  I was... I was thinking of my friend.  He is... he is happy.  I wonder if you would say that he seemed happy."  He pet down Curiosity's back and scratched behind his ears.  "I think you would like him.  He is often curious about everything." 

Hob wanted to sob out that it was him, that Dream was right, he was happy, and that he was so curious about everything, he had ended up here.  He went to say the words, to tell Dream who he was, and found his voice stolen from him, unable to force the words out.  Instead, he sighed and nuzzled into Dream's hand again.  "I am pleased to hear that you have a friend.  Perhaps, if you are feeling out of sorts, you should visit him?"  It might have been self-serving to encourage Dream to visit him, but Hob had never claimed not to be greedy.  The chance to see Dream again, to offer him hope and care and maybe even a small bit of happiness, that was all that he could imagine from this moment. 

"Hob," Dream breathed, his voice soft as the music started to fade.  "I would not wish to impose on him."  He paused, and looked down at Curiosity.  "He has informed me I am welcome whenever I might make time, because in his words, I am busier than he is.  But still..."

Hob wanted to growl and beat it into Dream's head that he meant it when he said that he would be pleased to have Dream join him at any given time.  It was the truth and Dream would not be able to run away from it if he had any say in things.  But he couldn't do that now, not when Dream thought he was talking to Curiosity and not Hob Gadling.  "I have had a great many friends in my time," he started, and felt Dream's full attention snap to him in an instant, and the wave of power from the curiosity that swarmed over Dream was almost stifling.  Dream was curious.  He was so curious and the power had him almost drunk and he was glad he was lying down on Dream's lap.  "In my experience, when they say you are welcome, you are welcome.  It is tough to often find times to meet in life, and there is no perfect time, so to be offered welcome whenever you can make time, it is a gift.  And your friend means it, I am certain of that." 

Dream said nothing for a long time, clearly thinking over his words, and Hob cursed his clumsy wording, because he didn't want Dream to feel like he had to hold back.  He could visit as often as he wanted, and Hob would often be pleased to see him.  It didn't matter how many times that happened, or if Dream showed up and decided that he wanted to stay.  None of it mattered.  "You should visit your friend," he urged.  "Perhaps he might make you smile." 

"Perhaps... he might," Dream agreed, helping Curiosity to climb off his lap, before standing.  He looked down at the orange tabby.  "Will you be here when I return?"

Hob tilted his head and let out a meow.  "I might need to check in somewhere else, briefly, but I will return.  You have my promise that I will return."  He saw the way Dream's shoulders relaxed and he gave a flick of his tail.  "I am not giving up those pets of yours.  They're quite good you know."  That got him a surprised exhale that was almost a chuckle, even as Dream started to swirl away into sand.  Hob waited a handful of seconds before dashing through a portal.  Dream's sister had promised him that he could shift back into human form, and stepping into his flat, into his bedroom, he was as human as he had ever been and he grinned, bright and wide at the sight.  Perfect.

Hob changed his clothes quickly, and felt the lingering power in the back of his mind as Curiosity, how he could feel it from the pub downstairs and all around him, but like this, it was dimmed, and it was easy to make himself ready as he headed downstairs, right as his friend was stepping through the front door.  Dream's eyes met his and Hob didn't bother trying to keep down his smile.  He grinned and gestured to their table from last time, sitting down easily as Dream made his way over.  The tension that he had been carrying in the Dreaming was still very apparent, but there was a smile that lingered on his lips, and that counted for everything.  He couldn't look away from it, even as he knocked their boots together when Dream sat down. 

"It is good to see you, my friend.  I'm so pleased you came back."  Hob knew that he was grinning too much, and that he was going to risk being too familiar, but the idea of not being happy to see Dream was one he wouldn't allow to exist for more than a second in his own mind.  "How did you phrase it last time?" he paused.  "Ah, how have you been keeping?  Would you like a drink?" 

"It is good to see you too, my friend," Dream repeated, looking down at the table between them.  He cleared his throat and glanced up at Hob Gadling, who was still smiling at him, patient, waiting for him to answer the questions that had been thrown at him.  "Wine?" he asked, relaxing when Hob stood up to head to the bar.  He breathed in deep, taking in the atmosphere around them.  Here, it was a place of comfort and Dream looked up at the bar, almost expecting to see Curiosity lingering, watching him from one place or another, but there was no sign of the orange tabby. 

Hob came back to their table with a glass of red wine for Dream and a beer for himself, settling down at the table.  There had been no surprised panic from his bartender, so he figured whatever magic was allowing him to be human right now was also making sure that no one freaked out that their missing boss had suddenly reappeared.  He also put down a bowl of popcorn between them, taking a bite of a few before smiling at Dream.  "So?  How have you been keeping?" 

Dream looked down at the bowl between them and reached out to take one of the pieces piled high in his fingertips, studying it for a long moment before he lowered his hand and faced Hob Gadling.  Trying to explain, or even trying to figure out where to begin seemed an oddly impossible task, even with Hob Gadling, who had at least the faintest understanding of what he was and who he was.  What he was responsible for.  Hob understood, as much as he could, and Dream deserved to tell him everything.  Or at least as much as he could understand.  "A great many things happened after I left you," he said, allowing himself to feel the weight of those things.  "Repairing my realm took a back seat to a much larger problem." 

When Hob's expression went wide and shocked and fear-filled, Dream held up a hand to forestall the questions.  "All is now well.  The situation has been handled, and the woman who-" he paused, wrinkling his brow, before he continued.  Hob deserved to know a fraction about him.  They were friends.  Sharing this was well within the bounds of friendship.  "Who is my niece, and her brother, my nephew.  They are both safe now." 

Hob's eyes widened and he softened, reaching out to touch Dream's wrist as he had before.  He wanted to climb into Dream's lap and wrap him in a hug, hold him tight until he melted and let down his burdens for a few moments, but this would be the next best thing.  "You have a niece and nephew?" he asked, keeping his voice low. 

Dream's lips quirked for the barest of moments.  "I do indeed.  They are..."  They were a great many things that Rose and Jed Walker both were, but what he could share with Hob Gadling escaped him and he frowned.  "They are good.  And they are kind.  It is a wonder that they are the great grandchildren of one of my siblings."  His eyes fluttered as he remembered the rest.  "Upon finding out they existed, I also found out that one of my siblings was responsible for me being captured." 

This time, not as Curiosity, Hob let himself really feel the fury that swept through him at that announcement.  "I'll kill them," he announced cheerfully, taking a large sip of his beer.  That, at least, drew Dream's attention and he blinked in surprise.  "Know it's probably not easy to kill what you are, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't give it my best shot.  Doing that to you.  They'd deserve it." 

"You would enact such violence on my behalf?" Dream asked, lifting his wine glass to take the faintest of sips from it.  It was far easier to enjoy the taste than normal, and Dream let himself take another.  When Hob nodded, eagerly, even, Dream tempered himself to a faint smile.  "As satisfying as it might be, it is far better if they are left to their own devices.  I would not have them turn their sights on you and cause harm to you in term." 

"You know that I'd be fine," Hob pointed out.  "I would find a way to be fine." 

Dream inclined his head.  "So you would.  But even still, it is not something that I would risk.  They have caused enough trouble and enough meddling.  They should not cause anything further."  He looked down at the wine glass between them and abruptly realized that Hob's fingers were still on his wrist, where he had left them.  He studied the faint touch.  It was almost as though Hob feared doing more.  But since Curiosity had offered him comfort, he had wondered at the willingness of his friend to offer such comfort, not that there was anything he could offer in return. 

"My friend?" Hob asked, pressing his fingers a little tighter to Dream's wrist, before he moved slowly and cupped his hand around Dream's.  He didn't close his hand, just left Dream's hand resting in the palm of his.  "Is there something wrong?" 

Dream's eyes jumped up, the question so similar to Curiosity's shooting fear through him.  What was so obvious on him that anyone who could see?  He would have to scrub this weakness from himself as quickly as possible before his enemies began to use it against him.  It was a matter of time before their plotting began again, and he would need to be ready for them.  Though the thought of having to build up the defenses of the Dreaming, while he was still repairing, still fixing, still rebuilding was...

Hob watched Dream take a large breath, before it shuddered out of him in a way that made him wonder if Dream was about to cry.  "Dream?" 

The words to describe his predicament were startlingly inefficient, and Dream wanted nothing more than to run from the concern in Hob's eyes, because his friend wanted to help, because they were friends, but there was nothing that he could do.  Nothing that he could offer beyond vague platitudes, and company.  "There is a great deal of work that remains that I must tend to." 

"I'm sure," Hob agreed, keeping Dream's hand in his.  His friend had not taken it back yet, even as he seemed to be struggling with something.  "But surely you can stay for a few moments longer, and I could tell you some stories, and you could take a rest?"

"Do you presume me weak enough to need a rest?" Dream snarled, glaring at Hob. 

The force of that glare left Hob shaking in his shoes, especially in the wake of 1889, but he held his ground and met Dream's eyes.  "I presume to enjoy your company, my friend.  And with as much work as you have mentioned having, taking a rest is a natural part of that work.  It is no comment on you."  That, at least, softened the glare, even if Dream was once more tense as a board.  It was so easy to say the wrong thing, so easy to put him on the defense.  But stories he could tell, and he would.  "Let me tell you about the latest classes I taught.  I think you will find this entertaining."  He launched into a story from the previous semester, which would be more than good enough for this story, and Dream would be able to enjoy it. 

Dream settled back and observed Hob Gadling as he told his story.  There was a light, a brightness that was emanating from the man in front of him that he was incapable of basking in, wanting to soak up all of it that was offered, until he no longer felt quite so empty and shallow.  He was a being of stories and Dream loved to hear them from Hob, loved to experience the world as he saw it.  He was invited to laugh with Hob, to chuckle with him at the antics of his students, and those faculty around him.  His life was broad, and rich, though it was so much smaller in scale.  He could find joy in so many small things, and Dream envied him for the ease in which he could do so. 

Dream took another sip of his wine as Hob barely took a breath before launching into another story.  It was easy to let the story wash over him as it sank into him, again and again.  How many times would he sit back and enjoy a story without ever being a part of it?  It had been far too long since he stepped up and had participated in a story.  That realization was enough to have him settling back in his chair, discomfited, and his frown was enough to draw Hob's storytelling to a stumbling close.  He closed his eyes and looked down at the wine glass in front of him.  Perhaps this was all that he had left to offer, to steal and take the stories from others, to recycle them so they could be used again and again. 

"Dream?" Hob called, reaching out to bump their feet together.  It took another two calls of his friend's name for bright blue eyes to meet his, and the regret and sorrow there had his heart seizing in fear as he curled his hand around Dream's.  "Dream?  What's wrong?" 

"One of my names," Dream answered, continuing to stare at his wine glass.  "Was the Prince of Stories.  I was thought of as the arbiter of all stories.  It is why I have always enjoyed your storytelling, Hob Gadling.  Because all stories end and begin with me, and to hear you tell them is to have them reframed for me in such a way that I rejoice in them.  They are wonderful, and I have rarely enjoyed them as much as I do when you take the time to tell them to me." 

"Why," Hob swallowed and reached for his beer, taking a sip.  "Why do I feel like there's a 'but' attached to all of that?  What's wrong, Dream?"

Dream hummed in consideration.  "I do not know, and perhaps therein lies the problem.  If I were to know what was wrong, I could fix it.  I could cut it from me, or I could find a way to overcome it.  But a thing I cannot see or feel, save to know it is there?  That I cannot fight.  But you can.  You can continue to move forward, to keep telling stories, to be a being of stories, even if I cannot." 

Hob felt his heart stop for several agonizing beats in his chest and despite the fact that it might make Dream panic, Hob turned his hand over and squeezed Dream's hand between his.  "Dream, you are stories.  You have told me as much.  And the world will always have a need of stories." 

"Yes," Dream agreed.  "It will.  But it does not mean I need to be the one to tell them.  That piece of myself..." To give one of the most precious pieces of himself to another, the piece that had built and maintained the library, even through its partial destruction, it felt wrong, and right all at once.  If it was his destiny, his future to no longer preside over these stories, did it not make sense to entrust them to someone who would care for them as he always had?  With all of his power and all of his ability?  He lifted his eyes to Hob Gadling and saw the fear there.  "Do not worry." 

"My friend, I," Hob swallowed down the panic, the urge to draw Dream closer, as though he could keep Dream from drifting further and further away.  Already, Dream seemed less substantial, as though he were starting to fade away and he had merely needed to begin the process.  "You are scaring me.  What are you talking about?  If something is wrong, let me, please let me try to help.  I'd do anything to help you, you have to know that." 

Dream inclined his head.  "I do, and that is why I would trust this to you.  I would trust you to safekeep the most important parts of me, until it can be given to another when you no longer want it." 

Panic was making it tough to think, but Hob held onto Dream's hand harder, watching him.  "Dream.  Please.  I don't, I'll do anything that you ask, but if something is wrong, try to fix it, don't give up.  I don't..." Hob licked his lips and met Dream's eyes and all at once felt a bolt of curiosity hit him as Dream stared at him and his being shimmered into more solidity for a few seconds.  But then it was back to fading.  "I don't know what I'd do without you.  You can't go, please.  You're my touchstone, you're everything.  You, Dream.  Please." 

"Be at peace, Hob Gadling.  There will always be Dreams.  That will never not be true."  Dream reached out with his other hand and cupped his palms around Hob Gadling's, dropping a small seed shaped as a sparkling bead into his palms.  "You have been a far better friend than I ever could have deserved, Hob Gadling.  I hope that you know that." 

Hob felt a tear streak down his cheek, then another, as Dream continued to hold onto his hands.  "Dream, please.  I don't care what it is, I don't care how long it takes.  Please don't go.  Let me help you.  I want to help you, I'll do anything.  Please." 

Dream lowered his eyes to their hands.  "Keep this safe.  It belongs to you now.  You can carry it.  Perhaps you were always meant to carry it, and that is why we met."  He squeezed Hob's hands once more before he stood and felt a tremble run through his being. 

Hob stuffed the bead into his pocket, pressing it as deep as it would go, before reaching out to wrap his arms around his friend, pulling him in close by his shoulders, hugging and holding onto him tightly.  "I will keep it safe until you return to get it," he growled, even though tears were pouring down his cheeks.  "This isn't goodbye, Dream.  I'm not going to let it be goodbye.  Don't you dare tell me it is goodbye." 

Dream closed his eyes and for the briefest of seconds, he imagined leaning into the warm and comforting touch.  Imagined drinking from the warmth that Hob Gadling offered until he no longer felt empty and cold.  But then Hob would be left a husk, with nothing left to give anyone, and that was a fate his friend, his only friend, did not deserve.  So instead, he allowed himself to be held for several long and precious seconds before he smiled sadly at his friend.  "It is goodbye for now, Hob Gadling.  I wish you well.  Keep the stories safe."  He turned and stepped away from Hob, into a shroud of sand. 

~!~

Hob barely managed to make it out of the pub and into his flat before he was summoning a portal, racing into the castle as soon as he was in the Dreaming, and up the spiraling stairs of Dream's throne on four paws rather than two feet.  Ahead of him, he could see Dream, wandering into his gallery, to summon his sister, to step away, now that he had given away the most important part of him.  Dream was almost see-through, almost gone, as though he himself were fading away.  He shouted Dream's name, but there was no answer, his friend was already stepping into his gallery, so he raced up the stairs, focused on getting to him, on stopping him. 

--

Dream lingered in his gallery, looking between each of the sigils, slowly spinning in their mirrors. 

Now that he'd given a part of himself to Hob Gadling, to live on as he would, as he would continue to do, because that was what he did, Dream was able to drift to his older sibling's sigils, and stare at them for a long moment.  "I wonder if you knew, from the very beginning.  I wonder if this was written, that I would end up here, right here."  Dream stared at each of them and allowed himself a few moments to wonder, to truly be curious, about how this had been his fate.  That he was meant to feel the weight of everything he had been for millenia, to bear it, truly, for the first time, and to find it impossible.  It was not worth staying if this is what he had become.  Reaching out, he stroked his fingertips across the ankh, thinking of the warmth of Hob Gadling's arms around him in a hug, holding him tight. 

His sister had truly been right to pick him, those few centuries ago.  "Sister," he called, his voice ringing in the gallery.  "I ask to come home to the Sunless Lands.  There is one who has been born to replace me, and I have left my kingdom in the care it deserves."  Dream listed forward, curling over the ankh.  "I wish to come home, sister.  Please." 

Under his fingertips, the ankh went white, and Dream closed his eyes, the familiar brush of wings, spanning endless space and time, brushed against him, pulling him forward.  He stepped into the nothingness, the last of the weight behind him beginning to fade.  He drifted forward, walking slowly, only to find his sister standing in front of him with her hand held out.  Dream let out a sigh of relief and smiled at her.  "One final walk together, sister?"

Death nodded, her smile wobbly.  "One final walk together, brother." 

Dream ached for the pain that he had caused her, asking her to come here, to take him home, but it was as welcoming as it had always been with the humans, comforting.  She was always so comforting.  And this was a comfort that he would have no struggle taking, unlike the other that had been offered to him by Hob and by Curiosity.  He knew what waited for him, and the possibility of rest, of true rest, was one that he could not see himself denying.  It was a relief to see her, it was a relief to have her here, at the end of things. 

He reached for her hand, ready to take it, when a meow behind him made him stop.  Dream turned, looking behind him in confusion, blinking at the sight of Curiosity.  "Curiosity?  Why are you here?"  Dream lifted his hand away from his sister's and turned to look at the tabby.  "I know you do not wish to be here, it is all right.  There will be another who will be willing to accept your comfort much more readily and..."

Hob took one step forward, and then another, even as every hair on his back stood up.  The cool and promising touch of Death could be felt all around him, and he recognized (without truly recognizing her) the figure on the other side of Dream.  The one that he had to stop Dream from coming with.  Somehow.  Hell if he knew precisely how, but he was going to try to figure that out.  He was not going to lose Dream.  He was not going to let Dream walk into the sunset just because he was hurting and didn't know how to ask for help.  He was not.  He would not allow that to happen. 

Hob reached out and took the bottom of Dream's robe in his mouth, giving a mighty pull around the flames that licked at the base of his feet.  He took a step back, and then another, trying to pull the Dream that was losing substantialness by the second back with him.  'Come with me.  Be curious again.  Once more, a thousand times more.  Be curious with me about tomorrow, and what it could hold.'  It was, perhaps, a foolish wish, considering where they were standing, but it was one he was going to wish a thousand times over.  Anything to stop Dream from taking those final steps forward. 

Dream looked down at Curiosity and turned away from Death briefly to kneel in front of the orange tabby who had been such a comfort in the last little while.  The creature that was part Endless, just like Hob Gadling would be, with an Endless seed growing in him.  "You have been of great comfort to me, Curiosity.  I know that's what you wished for.  But there is nothing left for me to be curious about.  It is time for me to rest.  I have earned this rest, and done my duty.  And now-"

Hob yanked harder on the robes, protesting those words with a loud whine around them.  It edged into a growl as he glared at Dream, unable to keep from glaring at him.  He was not about to let Dream, his Stranger, his Friend, go.  No matter if he thought it was time and he had to keep Dream anchored here himself, that is what he would do.  He would never let go, he was never about to let go.  Not for a second. 

"It is all right, Curiosity, it will be well," Dream soothed, his voice softening, reaching out to pet behind the ears of the orange tabby.  "It will be well.  There will be a new Dream, and he will-"

"Dream," Death interrupted, her voice soft.  "Do you not know who that is?"

Hob's eyes flew to Death and the recognition in them had him tensing with fear, but also with worry for Dream.  If this was something that upset his friend enough that he decided to leave, he would never be able to forgive himself. 

Dream frowned, twisting to look over his shoulder at her.  "It is the personification of Curiosity.  I spoke with Delirium briefly, and she informed me it had manifested and had been drawn to me when I returned." 

Delirium.  That had to be who Dream's little sister was.  The one who had charged him to save Dream, who had brought him into her realm that was so wild and colorful it made his brain ache.  The one who was keeping his human form locked, except in very specific circumstances.  Her name was Delirium. 

"He," Death said with a smile, looking down at the orange tabby who had refused to release Dream.  "Is undoubtedly precisely that.  But this is not his natural form, merely the one that is able to follow you through realms and to far more easily traverse the Dreaming, which is why I suspect that he is locked into it as he has been."  She raised her eyebrows at the cat.  "Why didn't you tell him who you were?" 

Hob gestured to Dream and opened his mouth, giving an annoyed meow.  "When I tried to, I couldn't.  But when he first asked, the answer didn't feel right.  Before I found out who I was." 

Death hummed, nodding as she stepped up beside Dream.  "Why did Delirium send you to Dream?" 

Hob looked between the two siblings, wondering just how much he could say and not lose his oldest friend.  But if it would save his life, wasn't it worth anything?  "I was supposed to help someone.  That's what she told me.  I had to help.  Then, then I found out it was Dream.  And I had to try to make him curious again.  Make him laugh."  He looked to the side.  "She said that she knew things, and that Dream was in trouble.  She wanted me to help." 

'I know things too!'

Dream could hear the echo of Delirium's assertion, the fact that she knew things, more than some of them, since her change.  Things that the rest of them had not discovered and could not know.  He drew his attention to the tabby cat, smiling sadly.  Of course Curiosity would have only approached him if ordered to do so, he would never have been enough of a draw on his own.  He should have challenged Delirium on that, right then and there.  "You have helped," he said, his voice soft.  "And I thank you for it, but now-"

Hob growled around the robe in his mouth and released it, jumping up and onto Dream's chest, digging his claws into the folds on either side of his robe, and burying his face in the cool skin of Dream's neck.  He knew so many things, and he could help so much more.  He could feel it now, this close, with this much power from earlier still flowing through him.  Dream had been curious about everything, once.  About humans, their stories, the stars, his Dreamers, his creations, all of him, brimming with curiosity that was insatiable, until his duty had robbed him of all of it. 

Dream closed his eyes and carefully pet down the back of Curiosity, even as he clung tighter, digging his claws in until he could feel the prick of them against the skin of his vessel.  It was tight enough, and strong enough, that it reminded him of a hug he had had not too long ago now.  How he had been held just as tightly, just as strongly, and clung to as desperately.  Fingers that had dug into his shoulders, holding on until he'd had to let go and...

Dream's eyes snapped open.  "Hob!"

In an instant, whatever it was that Delirium had done that was keeping him locked to the orange tabby form, Hob felt it fall away, and in an instant, it was easy to become human once again, and he and Dream were sprawled on the not-ground, with him in Dream's lap.  He let out a rough breath and shuddered, and took brief stock of himself, before meeting Dream's eyes once more.  He could feel the shift now, if he wanted to reach for it, if he wanted to slip it back on like a familiar coat, but this was one he had not worn for longer than he could remember, and it almost felt as though it didn't fit any longer.  But that didn't matter.  He could worry about that more later.  Right now, the only thing that mattered was Dream. 

"Got it in one," Hob breathed, shuddering as he held onto the edges of Dream's robes.  "Didn't think I'd make it to you in time after you raced out of the New Inn as fast as you did."  All at once, it was easy to see everything.  To see why Delirium had given him the Endless Seed.  He was predisposed to not be turned off by Dream being himself.  Hob was already his friend, and had already understood some of his struggles.  It was just as easy to see why it had manifested in him, why it had grown markedly stronger every single day.  He'd been made to save Dream, because Delirium had seen the path Dream was going down, had understood what he needed, and what was missing. 

"Why are you here?" Dream asked, thinking of the way Hob had begged him to stay in the Waking.  He had not attempted to move, and was still clinging to his robe just as tightly.  "How are you here?" 

"Someday," Hob breathed, lifting his eyes to look at Dream.  "I'll tell you of the day that I met Delirium, and how it happened, and that she charged me with being something I have always been.  Something that she needed to give me so I could try to save you."  He smiled and continued to watch Dream's eyes stay locked on him.  "My friend," he continued, his voice softening.  "I am here to give you back something you lost.  Something that you need, desperately."  His lips quirked.  "You were curious enough, for only a moment, for me to be able to do my work." 

"Your-"

Hob tilted his head a fraction more and leaned up, sealing their lips together.  The second they touched, he felt the moment Dream had been curious about, the one that had been like a lightning strike in the New Inn.  His friend had wondered, had been curious, what it would be like to kiss him.  For only a few seconds, before it had been buried under duty.  It had been gone before he'd been able to do anything about it, but now?  Now he could.  Now, Hob kissed Dream until he was being kissed back, until their lips were moving against each other, slow and hesitant, before he removed the leash on his own power.  It flooded out of him in a tidal wave and directly into Dream.

He'd been careful, over the past few months, in how he tended the Endless Seed that he had been given.  Being curious about anything and everything had served him well and it was something he had no intention of being anything less.  Hob poured all of it, all the power that he had been gathering, all of his love and interest in the Dreaming, everything about Dream himself, back into his friend.  His friend had always been a curiosity himself, in the literal and physical sense, but right now, he focused every bit of that power back into Dream.  And this close, with their lips sealed together, he could feel the repressed curiosity spanning millions of years that had been suppressed after Delight had changed and Delirium could no longer bring out the same childlike joy in Dream as easily as she once had. 

Hob grabbed those long-buried curious moments that could have led to thousands of Dreams, of ideas and hopes, and everything that made Dream what he was, and let them flood into Dream.  With it, he took the seed that Dream had given him, and shoved it back into his chest, giving him his stories back, even when Dream jolted beneath him.  An instant later, he was shoved backward from Dream, their lips falling apart as they panted.  He landed on the not ground, sprawled a few feet away from where Dream had pushed him and stared at his friend. 

"What have you done!?" Dream thundered, towering over Hob Gadling.  "What did you do to me?"

Hob breathed in deep and closed his eyes.  Whatever Dream did to him now didn't matter.  He would endure it, because now, perhaps.  Now, his friend would have enough curiosity to live.  To see the next day.  He'd saved him, exactly as Delirium had bid.  The cost of that saving did not matter.  It never had, after all.

"I gave your curiosity back to you," he announced.  "Made you remember what it was like to be curious.  To be filled with wonder."  Hob blinked his eyes open and stared at the endless white above him.  "How could you ever create dreams without wonder and curiosity?  They drive imagination, hope, stories, everything that you are and always have been, Dream."  Hob licked his lips and tilted his head back down to look at his beyond furious friend and managed a weak smile for him.  "I have heard you say again and again that you are your function, that that is what you are.  But it is not all that you are, and you should best begin believing that.  You deserve to be curious." 

Hob forced himself to his feet, narrowing his eyes and glaring at Dream, even as his friend stood as well.  His head was swimming with the amount of power that he'd pushed through himself into Dream, his entire body aching under the weight of it all.  "You, you think you're done.  You're tired, exhausted, and you think you've fulfilled all that you are.  That you can just, just leave all of us, and pass the mantle on and that's it!  As though you never mattered to us at all.  You matter!" Hob shouted the words, and they echoed in the blank space around them.  "You have always mattered, especially to me!  And I was not about to let you go without a fight!"

Dream lowered his hands to either side of him and glared at Hob Gadling.  "You have made a terrible mistake." 

"Have I?" Hob challenged, glaring right back at him.  "I"m curious, Dream.  Just how much of a mistake did I make, huh?  Tell me." 

"I am my function," Dream stated. 

"You're also a being that loves stories!" Hob growled.  "They all begin and end with you.  Are you not curious about all of the stories that will be written?  Yes, they may return to their original forms, but I refuse to believe in the years that lie ahead, there will not be a single story that is not new and engaging for you to read!"  His chest heaved, and he watched Dream snap his mouth shut.  "You're a being who was curious, at least once, about how it would feel to kiss me.  I know, I felt it!"  Hob took a step closer to him.  "You were curious about Rose, and how she and her brother were doing, because they are your family and you want to know more about them, even with everything that happened!"

Dream sighed and closed his eyes slowly, reopening them to look at Hob.  "Hob-"

"No," Hob snarled, stepping closer to Dream, even as he stumbled, doing his best to keep his feet.  "Your sister, no offense, gave you shit advice.  You don't need to bury yourself in your function.  In fact that's the last thing you need to do, because it's suffocating you!" He waved to Dream, a sprawling gesture.  "You've been doing that for centuries, and it's killing you!" 

Those words, spoken so plainly in the white room, echoed, as Hob heaved and tried to keep his balance.  Hob reached up and wiped a tear out of his eye, still glaring at Dream.  "You are creativity incarnate.  Without limits, Dream."  Hob knew he was begging, pleading now, but it was all that he had left.  "Aren't you curious, Dream?  About what Rose could grow up to be?  The dreams that she'll have?  About how Jed is going to do and heal after everything?  What adventures he might have next?  About..." he trailed off and looked up to meet Dream's eyes once more, before offering softly.  "About me?" 

"Hob Gadling," Dream said, his voice soft.  "You are my friend." 

Hob smiled, weak and wobbly, because he would never tire of hearing those words, no matter how many times they were spoken.  "And you're mine, Dream."  He swallowed, hard, wiping at his eyes.  "But that doesn't mean I'm not curious." He paused and smiled faintly, taking another step closer to where Dream was standing, swaying, as though he were caught in a spell that Hob was weaving over him. "I'm curious about how it would feel to kiss you again. Properly. That was hardly my best."  He watched Dream's eyes widen and he could feel the curiosity rising in Dream just as much.  "I'm curious about how it would feel to wrap you in my arms and hold on until both of us are ready to let go, not just because I'm worried that you're going to run."  He chewed on his lip and didn't look away from Dream.  It was the truth, as agonizing as it might have been to detail it all out like that. 

Dream opened his mouth to protest, to deny it, shaking his head, but now that the floodgates had been opened, now that he had been swarmed with Curiosity's power, he could feel those images, daydreams of his own, rising.  The same curiosity that tasted of Hob Gadling and the hope that exuded from his every pore.  The certainty that Dream was worth saving, that he was worth all of this effort, and curious as to what their future could hold.  He swayed once more, arrested by the not-story that Curiosity continued to paint of him, of them.  Of there being a them.  Something that had been impossible until just now, painted out for him.  "Soon," Dream started.  "It would become consistent.  The same.” He had seen how this story ended, again and again.  “I would no longer be a curious thing to you."  The magic would fade.  The light would follow, and Hob's, Curiosity's eyes would no longer sparkle when they looked at him. 

Hob laughed and reached out to stroke along Dream's cheek, until they were almost touching and reached out to cup Dream's jaw in his hands, looking at him.  "You are the collective unconscious, love.  There is no limit to what you are, what you will be, and who you could become.  I'm so curious about all of it, all of what you are, all that you could show me, share with me, teach me.  You can feel it, can't you?"  He didn't want to beg Dream to be able to feel all of that, but at the same time, if he could not, there would be no making it obvious to him.  He wanted nothing more than to prove this to Dream, for him to hear the truth and to believe it, down to the deepest parts of him.

Brimming with Curiosity's power, Dream could feel it.  The interest, the delight, the joy, all of it couched in a human who sought the possibility of the next day as though it were his own personal religion.  The potential of what Hob Gadling dared to offer him as an Endless, what he'd managed to unlock once more... Dream closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel the true breadth of what had been buried for so long.  The warm hands on his chin kept him grounded as he reached for the fountain of ideas that was not an empty cup, but an endless waterfall, filling him with inspiration that was brimming with possibility and delight.  He gasped, and felt a forehead press against his. 

"She knew," Hob breathed, his voice a whisper, even as Dream's starry eyes flickered open to stare at him, the weight of those words echoing between them.  "She knows that it had been taken out of your reach when she lost it, when she couldn't bring it forward as easily.  So she gave it to me.  To hold and give back to you, because this is what I am.  You know it, your sister knows it.  It is the truth of what I am, and always will be."  

Hob slowly dragged a thumb across Dream's cheek when a tear finally broke free of the silvered waterline, where they were gathered and sparkling on Dream's eyelashes.  "You are so much more than your function, Dream.  You always have been.  There is so much more that can be a part of your life beyond your function.  But it starts here, it must.  Right here.  You have to be just the tiniest bit curious yourself.  It cannot be something I have given to you.  I can help you remember how, but I cannot do it for you." 

Hob paused and felt Dream tremble in front of him, his whole body threatening to shake under the weight of what Hob was putting in front of him.  "You have to wonder, the smallest amount.  A tiny seed, just like I was given, that needs to grow in you just like it has in me.  What could happen?" 

With those words, Hob settled in to wait, because there would be no rushing his decision from Dream.  Death had long since left them to where they were, this strange in-between place that Dream had fallen to.  There was a moment, as Dream watched him, where Hob expected him to turn and follow his sister where she had gone, but then Dream sank to his knees, his head falling back.  Dream took a single, heaving breath, and then all of himself that he kept restrained, that Hob had only ever seen the faintest amounts of, burst free, surrounding them.  It was so much more than he ever could have imagined, even as Curiosity, more than Dream had used in his repairs of the Dreaming, and more than he had thought it possible for Dream to carry at one time.  He was so much, all of it, an Endless flood that filled them in wave after wave. 

When it finally ended, when the last blast of Dream, and everything that he contained, settled at last around them, Hob did not feel like he was drowning, even though he was certain that he was.  There was a soft hand holding onto him, keeping him from drifting away, from being lost in the waves of everything that Dream was, and Hob clung to it, until he was standing amongst the riotous parts of Dream that had been spilled into the world around him.  Dream was floating at the center of it, all of the color bleeding out of him and into him all at once. 

"Dream?" Hob managed the word, but it felt muffled, like there was too much around them for his call to reach his friend.  The hand holding him gave an impatient tug, but it was pulling him away from Dream, and Hob pulled against it.  No, he couldn't leave Dream, not like this.  He was not going to leave his friend.  He was not going to abandon Dream to drowning in everything that he was.  "Dream!"  He pulled harder, as did the hand on his wrist, reaching out for his friend who was still at the middle of the swirling tornado of colors.  "Help him, someone has to help him!  Dream!"  Hob shouted louder, but he was swiftly being pulled away and the image of Dream was getting smaller and smaller, and he couldn't fight against whatever had a hold of him.  He was going to lose sight of Dream, and he couldn't do that, he needed to be closer. 

At last, the endless white was gone, and Hob, in his human form, was standing at the base of the stairs that led to Dream's throne.  Hob panted hard and stared up at the throne, waiting for Dream to appear.  His friend would follow, he would.  He would.  Hob clenched his hand into a fist as he heard first Lucienne, then Matthew, come running into the throne room, both of them freezing at the sight of him.  "Come back," Hob ordered, staring up at the platform that Dream liked to sit on.  But there was no sign of him yet.  His heart felt like it was caving in on itself, but he refused to believe that Dream had let him go.  He refused. 

"Where... is he?"

Hob didn't answer, he kept staring at the platform, willing Dream to appear, to follow him back into the Dreaming.  But there was no sign of him, and no matter how long he kept his vigil, Dream didn't appear.  He wiped frantically at the tears on his cheek and waited.  He was good at waiting, he could wait.  But still, the throne sat empty, and the throne room sat emptier.  Lucienne had said nothing, and had stepped into her role as running things around the Dreaming while Dream was indisposed.  And still Hob waited.  He would not believe that Dream had left. 

Day changed to night, to day, to night, until Hob lost track of time.  His heart was a raw, aching thing, but he would not give up hope yet.  Dream could not have left, and he had to believe that.  He had too, or something in him would break and he would never get it back.  But when a raven approached (Matthew), there was a sinking feeling that settled into his heart that he could not deny. 

"Luce says it would be best if you went back to the Waking.  You're making the Dreams and Nightmares nervous," Matthew said, hopping closer to Hob.  "You can, soon as I know anything bud, and I'd be one of the first to feel him if and when he comes back-"

"He will," Hob snarled, the words the first he had spoken in days. 

"Right, right," Matthew said with another hop.  "I will be the first to feel him when he does, and I will tell you right away." 

Hob turned to look at Matthew and knew that he was right, because it was what would be best for Dream's people, and he had never wanted to be a burden on those who had already gone through so much with Dream's absence.  Putting anything on them was unfair, and the last thing that he wanted to do was add to that pressure that he knew Lucienne had to be feeling at the moment.  He shook his head and turned away from the vigil that he had been keeping.  Something shattered in him, as he tore his eyes away at last, and he took a step away.  Matthew said something, but Hob held up a hand and shook him off.  He didn't want to hear it.  He couldn't.  Dream had made his choice, and it was one he would... he would have to learn to accept. 

Hob stepped into the Waking, and his old life as though nothing had ever changed.  A family emergency had happened, he had filed a leave of absence, and now the university would welcome him back as soon as the new semester started in a few weeks.  It was easy.  It was almost too easy, and Hob hated it.  Hated that he would never see his friend walk through the doors of the New Inn again.  That he would never get to feel what it would be like to have a hug from Dream, after trying to hug him as gently as possible.  He'd imagined what Dream's hugs might feel like, but it always depended on what he was feeling at the time.  Right now, he would have given anything, damn near anything, to feel and see Dream one more time. 

Dawn rose on the next day and Hob forced himself to get out of his flat, to go for a walk, to taste and breathe in the curiosity of others around him.  A few hours of walking as a human had him shifting to being a cat, where everything was so much easier and simpler.  He didn't need to talk to or interact with anyone and could go wherever he pleased, including lounging on the roof of the New Inn for hours at a time.  It kept the pigeons away at least, and that was a small benefit that he wasn't going to say no to.  But whenever he thought of the Inn, thoughts of Dream were not far behind them, and Hob ached with how much he missed his friend.  His friend who could have been so much more. 

But it didn't matter any longer.  Dream had made his choice, just like Hob had told him.  He'd had to make a choice, had to try to find a little of his own curiosity, a little of his own wonder, and if he couldn't, then this would be for the best.  Even if it hurt like hell right now.  The last thing he needed to do was lose his own curiosity and wonder, but Hob found it hard to do anything but be curious about how a relationship between them would have worked.  It probably wouldn't have.  Not for lack of trying, of course.  He would have done everything in his power to make it work.  But Dream was a very busy personification and would not want to be dragged down by Hob's more human natures. 

Though, when they had been at their happiest together, it had been the two of them lounging in the sun in Fiddler's Green. 

It was bordering on torture imagining it, and when Hob had ended up there, one night, while Dreaming, he had sobbed loud enough to wake himself up and buried his face in the pillow to cry and cry until his whole body ached.  Even chugging three glasses of water didn't help keep him from being dizzy as he crawled back into bed and fell apart once more.  He'd lost his friend, his oldest friend, the only one who knew him, who knew what he was, his best and worst moments, and now...

Hob clenched his fingers tighter in the pillows beneath him and forced himself to take a deep breath,  even when he hiccuped through it.  Heartache would pass.  Even if it took decades, even if it felt like it would never fade and it had been carved into the very core of his being.  It would fade, and eventually he would be able to move on.  He would be able to think of his friend with a fond smile.  Of the times, few as they were, shared together.  Perhaps, whoever would step into Dream's role next would remember him as well and he wouldn't be alone in remembering him. 

It was a small solace, but it was something, and Hob clung to it, tighter than he had any right to. 

Whenever he slept, he transformed into Curiosity and stayed away from the castle and Fiddler's Green.  He made his way across the Dreaming, avoiding the Dreams and Nightmares that tried to pull him into sleep so he could get proper rest.  He didn't want it.  Didn't want to know that they were still waiting for Dream (would they wait forever, or would things happen like they had last year?), or that the new Dream had stepped into his role.  All of it made him sick to think about, so Hob did his best to avoid all of it, keeping to himself as he slunk around the edges of the Dreaming, exploring and finding small little things to drive his Curiosity and prevent him from fading. 

Delirium didn't appear to him again. 

Probably because he'd failed.  He'd tried, he'd tried so hard, but he hadn't been able to save her brother, and that hurt almost as bad as losing Dream did.  To know that someone had trusted him to help and he hadn't been able to.  That he'd tried as hard as he damn well could, but it hadn't been enough.  He hadn't been enough, and next to a being like Dream, was that even a surprise?  Everything he'd seen at the end, every part of Dream unleashed, far more than his mind could comprehend, all of it threatening to swallow him, it had been beautiful, and he would have gladly been consumed by it.  Even if it had meant losing himself, he would have done that, so willingly, for Dream.  In a second.  

~!~

Piece by piece, Hob cobbled his life together once more. 

He made plans for his next life, trying to find what would drive his curiosity, before deciding that another travel tour was in order.  It was easier to make IDs for that sort of travel and then disappear when he needed to.  Far less likely to garner the attention of those who were looking, too, something he needed to stay on top of.  He would miss the New Inn, like a limb, especially now that Dream had been there, and it housed his only remaining memories of his friend, but Hob was becoming more and more certain that if he didn't leave, he would be trapped there until someone realized he wasn't aging.  Though people didn't burn witches in this day and age, he wasn't willing to risk coming under that level of scrutiny. 

So he took a deep breath and made plans.  It'd take another couple of years for everything to be ready as he had requested, and to have the things built and the stashes built up like he wanted, but that was more than enough time to finish everything that he had in front of him.  At the very least, having those plans made those around him stop asking what had happened to him or who had died.  He hadn't been willing to accept that Dream had taken his sister's hand, even when they asked, so he had avoided the question again and again, letting them make their own assumptions.  It didn't matter.  He had to believe that Dream still alive. 

Even if it wasn't true, he had to believe it. 

The bell above the door in the New Inn rang and Hob stubbornly ordered himself to keep his eyes on the papers in front of him.  He needed to finish grading them, and he was curious to see what his students had selected for their extra credit answer.  There was something, at least, pulling at him, pulling at the power within him, and Hob allowed himself the faintest of smiles as he marked off another row of answers.  It wouldn't take him long to finish this now that he had a proper answer key written up, it was only the essay part-

A throat cleared. 

Hob looked up, ready to glare at whoever had interrupted him, because he was in the middle of...

He stared at Dream, his Dream, the familiar all-black ensemble almost out of place in the summer heat, shock rippling over him in waves as he nearly knocked the table over in his hurry to stand up.  "Dream!"

"Hello Hob," Dream answered.  "It is good to see you." 

Hob shoved the table out of the way and ignored the way his hip was going to regret that in the morning and made his way in front of Dream, cataloguing everything else that seemed to be the same.  Same jeans, Doc Martens, shirt, and coat.  Same spiky black hair, and same blue eyes that crinkled the smallest amount at the corners.  "You're," he swallowed, panic still flooding him as he stared at the personification in front of him.  "You're, you're still you?  You're not a different Dream, are you?"  He shook, trying to hold himself still, not wanting to impose, to demand too much, but Dream was here, he was finally here. 

Dream smiled again and dipped his chin, nodding once.  "It is me, Hob." 

"Oh thank fuck," Hob breathed, and cupped Dream's face in his palms and yanked him in for a desperate kiss.  There was a wolf whistle from behind the bar, and several cheers across the pub, but he didn't care about any of it, because Dream was pressing up and into the kiss, thin arms were wrapping around him to hold on tighter, and Hob wanted to sob into the kiss, because it was everything he'd ever wanted, especially when Dream's free hand cupped his face and kept him pulled in close.  By the time they broke apart for air, he was panting, and there were tears streaming down his cheeks as he leaned in to press their foreheads together.  "Dream." 

"I'm here, Hob," Dream repeated, reaching up to comb his fingers through Hob's hair, brushing it back from his face.  "May I bring you upstairs?  I would like for us to talk." 

Hob had never packed up his things so quickly, and he wiped off his face and took Dream's hand, hauling him upstairs to his flat, tossing his bag off his shoulder by the door, before striding into the kitchen to make tea.  Dream followed behind him, his feet bare of his doc martens, and his arms bare.  A quick glance showed his jacket hanging up and his shoes placed in the hallway, a sight Hob had to stare at for several seconds to even believe was real, before he went back into automatic mode and got them both mugs. 

"You're in shock," Dream surmised, watching as Hob went about the steadying rhythm of making tea, putting the bags in the mugs, reaching for the hot water just as it finished boiling, filling both of them to allow them to steep.  There was a shakiness to his limbs that was present, and his eyes kept darting over, as though he was afraid that he would disappear.  "Hob.  Will you look at me?" 

Hob swallowed and put both his hands on the counter, before he lifted his eyes to look at Dream, to meet the concern in his eyes and feel his heart, which had been mourning his friend, and everything that they had potentially lost together for what felt like weeks now.  He didn't know how to feel, or where they were going to go from here.  Dream had kissed him back, had held him tight, but that didn't mean anything.  Not really. 

"I'm here," Dream said, keeping his eyes on him.  "I am here." 

The weight of those words, as though Dream were saying them with the gravity that he might believe them, had Hob trembling and he looked at the steeped tea in front of him.  How long had Dream been gone?  How long had he waited in the Dreaming, only to be sent here to try to return to his life.  He swallowed and nodded once.  "I know," he whispered.  "I know you're here." 

It was almost torture not to ask what had happened, to demand answers, to know where Dream had been, what he had been doing, how they had ended up like this, and why it had taken Dream so long to come back.  He wanted to know, wanted to demand to know.  Even though it wasn't his place to demand those sorts of answers.  If Dream wanted to tell him, he could.  He swallowed again and reached out to take out the tea bags, putting them to the side and adding cream and sugar to both their mugs, pushing Dream's toward him, before he lifted his to take a sip of the scalding drink.  At least this was real. 

"It is good to see you again, Dream," Hob finally managed, after he'd taken another two sips and definitely burnt his tongue.  It was worth it to make sure that things were real.  That what was happening around him was the truth in every possible way.  He couldn't handle it if he had to lose Dream again, if he got ripped away from him and had to lose him all over again. 

Dream looked down at the mug of tea and wrapped his hands around it.  "You will not ask, will you?"

Hob tensed, his shoulders hunching.  "I, I might have pried when I was Curiosity, but I-"

Dream hummed, interrupting him.  "But where I welcomed it when you were Curiosity, I punished you for it as yourself."  He nodded.  "I have erred in this way." 

Steeling himself, ordering himself to be brave, to face whatever was about to happen, Hob forced himself to ask.  "What happened?  At, at the end there?" 

"Many things," Dream allowed.  "To you, is perhaps the easiest thing to start with.  Delirium pulled you away from me.  I owe her a great debt for this.  You would have drowned, and possibly been trapped in the Dreaming forever if you had stayed.  I would not have wished that for you, not under any circumstance.  She removed you to make sure that it didn't happen."  He paused and looked up at Hob.  "I heard you fighting to get back to me." 

Hob swallowed and wiped away a tear that wanted to escape, clearing his throat.  "Yeah, of course I fucking did," he grumbled, rolling his shoulders.  "I thought I was going to lose you if I didn't stay with you, and I didn't know what was happening.  What happened to you?"

Dream looked back down at the tea mug and rubbed his thumb along the rim of it, letting out a considering hum.  "I do not, know if there is an accurate way to describe what happened, but the closest I can articulate it, perhaps.  Is that I was destroyed, and then remade by the Dreaming." 

"Destroyed?" Hob asked, his voice cracking on the word.  "You were destroyed?" 

"Not, in the sense that you are imagining it," Dream answered, looking at the mug, before he looked around at the room.  He pooled sand into his hand and held it out to Hob.  "Imagine a material that is, and can be, constantly in flux."  He formed a shape, himself, his vessel, but made sure Hob could clearly see it was still made of sand.  "It is never one thing, but many things, to many different creations, all at once, all at the same time."  He turned his hand, so the image would change every few seconds, but it was still the same figure. 

"When you flooded me with Curiosity's power..." Dream let the sand change, and a series of shining bright crystals moved through the sand figure, one after another, until it was almost entirely mixed with the sand.  "It was a return to a form I had once been, and I could feel that."  He shifted himself again and grew the figure taller and taller.  "But because I am the Dreaming, your power also did this to the Dreaming.  Had it been confined to my form, there would have been no issue.  But because the Dreaming itself was also reset with your gift..." Dream gestured to the sand that exploded outward, the figure disappearing as everything was wiped clean and replaced, now with the diamond dust inside it, and the figure regrown.  "Everything was remade." 

There was a part of him that wanted to rub his forehead and say that none of that made sense.  But the part of him that was Endless, like Dream, the curious part of him that had given Dream back what he lost, understood, and he nodded.  "So the Dreaming was also affected?" 

Dream nodded once.  "It was what took me so long to reform."  He lifted his eyes to Hob's, briefly.  "I could feel you waiting.  You knew to wait.  You were right to do so.  You knew I would return, and you knew not to leave.  But it took me much longer than I expected."  He gave Hob another glance.  "The Dreaming, in my absence, is thousands of times larger than it was when I left, and I had not grown with it.  That disparity was why it took me so long to return.  As soon as I did, and ensured all was well, I came here." 

Hob took a longer sip of his tea and sniffled into it.  It was the best possible outcome for what had happened.  Dream might have still been hurting, but now he was curious again.  He smiled, from time to time.  He looked happier, and his lips were just the tiniest bit pink from where Hob had bit them earlier while they kissed.  He was beautiful, and Hob wanted him, as much as he had always wanted Dream.  But he had always known that Dream wasn't his to have, no matter what his heart had cried out for.  That didn't mean he was any less curious, because he was, but Dream deserved to have what he wanted, and now he would be able to have that. 

"I'm so glad to know that you're all right," Hob said, and it was honesty, when he smiled at Dream, even after he finished his tea, putting the mug down.  "I was so worried." 

Dream nodded and turned his attention to the mug of tea once more.  "I have... I do, miss your presence.  In the Dreaming.  As Curiosity."  He rubbed his thumb against the edge of the mug.  "You will... not stay away?"  He lifted his eyes to look up at Hob. 

The hope in Dream's eyes, the longing there, had Hob aching, and he wanted to pull Dream into another kiss, into his lap, and never let him move, ever again.  He would kiss Dream every single way that he knew, and then a thousand more, until he had sated his curiosity and discovered a thousand other things to be curious over about Dream.  Hob managed a smile and nodded.  "I will not stay away," he confirmed.  "You are still my friend, Dream.  Always will be, as far as I am concerned.  You're not getting rid of me that easily." 

"Friends," Dream repeated, frowning, his nose wrinkling.

Hob ordered himself not to panic, because Dream didn't show any signs of anger or frustration, only hurt confusion.  He could be storming out again, but he wasn't, not yet, and he cleared his throat.  "I, yes?" 

"And if I am..." Dream paused, before putting the mug down, standing up.  He moved around the counter to stand next to Hob Gadling, reaching out to tug on his arm until Hob was facing him.  "If I am... curious?” 

Hob's breath caught and his eyes widened as he stared up at Dream.  "What are you curious about, Dream?" 

"If I am curious... about kissing you all the ways you daydream about?"  He took a step forward and reached out to press his thumb to Hob's lower lip.  "If I am curious about how you would court me, and I may court you?"  He stepped closer still, his other hand going to Hob's waist, tugging him closer.  "If I am curious about how I might love you, because I suspect you have loved me for a very long time?"  He paused, watching Hob's eyes carefully.  "How might the personification of Curiosity suggest we proceed?" 

Every single use of the word curious sent a bolt of heat and power flooding through him, but Hob was locked in place, transfixed as Dream moved closer and closer, surrounding him so completely it was everything he could do not to shake apart under the teasing.  At Dream's final question, his heart leaping into his throat, and unable to keep the grin off his cheeks, Hob turned and pressed a kiss to Dream's thumb against his lips.  "I think that I might keep you curious about some of those for a little bit longer," he breathed, still grinning.  "Some of the fun is in the discovery after all." 

When Dream's thumb was pulled away from his lips, a rueful smile on his face, Hob reached up and tangled his fingers into Dream's hair and pulled him into another desperate kiss.  All at once, Dream came alive again, holding onto him tightly, tugging him closer and more insistently as they both leaned into it, even as Hob felt himself get pressed back against the counters.  Everything else, the courting, the proper confessions, all of it could wait, because it would be a very long time before he wanted to stop kissing Dream.  And he was curious just how long Dream could hold his breath while they kissed, which made Dream chuckle against his lips. 

Hob pulled back to stare at Dream with a raised eyebrow, his own lips feeling red and bruised, a perfect mirror for Dream's, and that was enough to have his heart skipping.  "What is it?" 

"I suspect you will find a boundless amount of things to be curious about," Dream said, cupping Hob's face once more, pulling him into another kiss.  "And I am eager to indulge all the daydreams I can see." 

Hob nodded and leaned into the kiss, before he broke it and buried his face in Dream's neck, wrapping his arms around the skinny man in front of him.  "Let me hold onto you for a few minutes first?  I just want to remind myself that you're here and this isn't a dream." 

"Oh but it is a dream," Dream whispered.  "Your Dream, as a matter of fact.  Pulled directly from your fantasies for you to enjoy here, in the Waking world.  I thought it fitting to give you such indulgence."  He shifted them and wrapped Hob into his arms, cradling Curiosity, Hob, close, nuzzling into his hair.  It was the work of a moment to lift Hob, one arm behind his back and another under his knees, carrying him over to the couch, before he sat down with Hob in his lap, where he seemed determined to press as close as he could. 

Hob muffled his laugh in Dream's shoulder as he was carried like a damsel over to the couch, and then situated properly in his lap and leaned in to press his nose to Dream's neck, nuzzling in against the pale skin.  It felt real.  Everything about this felt real, Dream's arms around him, the quiet thrum of Dream's power that he could feel under him that was radiating off the other Endless and the longer they sat here together, the weaker the suffocating grief felt.  "I do love you, you know.  Impossible creature.  I don't know how I couldn't love you after we played tag together in Fiddler's Green.  Was gone for you a long time before that, but that just made me sure."

Dream chuckled and tightened his arms around Hob.  "I would very much like it if you still visited the Dreaming as Curiosity.  I have missed you there the past day." 

Hob let out a shaky exhale and shifted so he could wrap his arms around Dream's skinny chest, nodding against him.  "I'd love to.  Can't be there all the time, but I would love to be able to come and visit whenever I am in the Dreaming." 

Dream reached up and combed his fingers through Hob's hair, humming. 

Hob felt the zing of power hit him and shuddered, panting against Dream's neck.  Dream had been curious about his hair.  How soft it was, and now that he'd started, he was flooded with everything else.  How curious Dream was about how he would sound in bed together.  How curious Dream was about Hob's preferences, how he would enjoy being loved.  He was curious about everything, and Hob groaned against Dream's neck and leaned up to nip at Dream's jaw.  "I'm an emotional wreck and you're going to turn me into a horny mess, that isn't fair love." 

"What can I say," Dream breathed, his voice soft as he tipped Hob's chin toward him, catching those familiar brown eyes.  "I'm curious."

[mauesartetc]

Thoughts on Helluva Boss 205 ("Unhappy Campers")

Wow, this... This one may actually be worse than Murder Family. That's impressive.

Is anyone else noticing a pattern of Helluva Boss episodes going absolutely nowhere? Each one ends without affecting the larger plot in any meaningful way. Season 1's structure was fairly episodic as well, but at least back then there was some sense of progression.

I usually include separate lists of pros and cons in these critiques, but in this case, I have so few compliments to give this thing it's not worth it. I tried my best to find more to like about this episode, but it gave me bupkis to work with. So I'll just present all my notes in chronological order.

Let's get this over with.

-Looks like the rehab facility where Barb used to live is located in Sloth (on account of the floating islands and all the pink in the environment), just like the hospital in this season's previous episode. We've never seen care centers in any other ring, so... Does Hell society's opinion of sick people dictate that they're just lazy? Some clarification on that might be nice.

-"She's got a job now. A life. Don't fuck it up by findin' her." Holy shit, the nurse is the most mature, sympathetic character in this entire episode. Tasing Blitzo in the butthole earns her bonus points in my book. Nurse Pussyface, you are way too good for this show.

-Why is Blitzo even trying to visit his sister if he's been kicked out of the facility several times and knows she hates him? What's the impetus? "Look, I know you hate my guts, but Dad's dead, and he named you in the will." Or maybe he had an experience that reminded him of her and figured he'd drop by to see how she was? Y'know, something.

-By the way, Helluva's animation is usually a highlight, but here there's not much to say about it. It wasn't especially memorable or ambitious; just kinda... passable. Even the climactic fight scene (which I'll get to later) didn't have much to write home about.

-How the hell didn't the client notice the holes in his boat before he rowed it out into deep water? Because I'm pretty sure it would leak when it was still in the shallow end of the lake, unless this is a unique real-life boating phenomenon I'm not aware of. Also, you'd think this guy was a bit too gung-ho to get out on the lake for someone who can't swim. Did someone have a gun to your head, dude?

Fun fact: Did y'all know I was on staff at a summer camp once? We had a pond, canoes, and a boathouse just like the camp in this episode. One thing we had that this camp apparently doesn't, however, is this important rule: No one gets in a canoe without a life jacket. EVER. But, well... We see later that the adults at this camp don't care much about safety, so I guess that's fair enough. (Though I'm curious how they manage to stay open, or what the client's loved ones have to say about his mysterious disappearance.)

-What did the client do to get sent to Hell after he died? Mrs. Mayberry murdered someone, so that's why she's here, but this kid seems pretty chill-? (And don't even try to explain this on Twitter, writers. If it's not in the story itself, it ain't canon.) I also can't help but notice that his design reflects the way he died, but every other sinner's appearance is just random. Consistency? Who needs it!

-Some unintentional hilarity for ya: Here's Millie's face after the client recounted his death.

And she holds this pose for the remainder of the scene. Was there NO direction on how to animate Millie here?! This is a grim situation and she's smiling?! I get that she's a demon, but damn that is cold. It's never been clearer that half her role in this story is just smiling and looking cute, to the point the animators don't know what else to do with her.

-Richard Horvitz's valley girl voice was kinda funny. I dug it. Not sure why Moxxie and Millie had to dress in drag for anything other than cheap laughs, though.

-I know Millie's hurtin' for more development, but this story's conflict would have made SO much more sense from a character standpoint if Moxxie were getting all the praise from the campers. Think about it: He's the one Blitzo always shits on and doesn't believe in. He's the one whose father doesn't love him. He's the one who never gets positive attention from anyone except his wife. Suddenly the conflict is much more compelling: Now that he has approval from these humans, maybe he doesn't need it from Blitzo anymore (not sure why he needed his approval in the first place, but whatever). Maybe he'd realize what he's been missing, and how shitty Blitzo's treatment has been in comparison. Could this be the breaking point that finally gets him to muster some self-respect and quit IMP? We'll never know, because the episode has miscalculated where the most interesting dilemma actually lies.

As far as we can tell, Millie's had zero reason to doubt herself, and we never see her being mistreated like Moxxie has.

Take these lines of dialogue: "And for once I feel like... Like I'm important! Like I'm somebody to be proud of!"

Wouldn't they fit so much better if they came out of Moxxie's mouth?

-I kinda liked how the lyrics of Millie's song were humble while Moxxie's lyrics were egotistical, showing that being down to earth will win you friends while being self-centered will turn people off. But is that really the kind of message we need in an adult show? It's a useful lesson for children, but after you hit the age of this series' target demographic, most people will have the social skills to know better than to pull what Moxxie did at the campfire.

-Speaking of Moxxie being super immature, why does he weep when a bunch of preteens ignores him? They're...They're kids, Mox. They aren't your peers. Literally who cares. This behavior makes no sense outside of (once again) cheap humor. I could understand being bummed out that you're not good with kids if you wanted to have your own someday, but even that doesn't warrant actual tears. And this makes him look like a massive hypocrite later on when he asks Millie why it matters what "these yokels" feel about her. I mean... You seemed to care a lot about how they saw you, Moxxie...

-Moxxie's excuse for why it's so hard for him to get information on the case is that everyone's too busy "swooning over" Millie. Here's a thought: Why doesn't Millie get the info? She's the one everyone likes, so it should be a snap, right? Well, once again, the characters get railroaded because the writers can't entertain any other plot ideas. And of course Moxxie ends up getting blamed for everything as if he's the only one who fucked up here.

-Why the hell would a summer camp show so much favoritism toward a single camper that they set up a friggin' concert for this camper and this camper only? Yeah yeah, "viral sensation" and everything, but 1) The news crew can wait another day or so for camp to end in order to conduct an interview (y'know, something that wouldn't require a huge-ass stage and pyrotechnics that'd cost the camp boatloads of money), and 2) The camp staff thinks Millie is a child. How fucking irresponsible can you get to lavish this much attention on a kid? Think it'll go to her head or something? Psssh nah. Also, you're telling me none of the other campers are the tiniest bit jealous? How do you think they feel, seeing this one kid get treated like a god while they're left in the dust?

Okay, plot-wise, the writers decided they wanted Millie to sing a song so she's occupied during the final showdown with the killer. Easy solution: Camp talent show. That way, the adults treat all the campers equally, and Millie gets her (more believable) moment in the spotlight.

-Oh hey, we finally see Asmodean crystals in action. And of course the first one we see is a butt plug.

SuCh a MAturE shOw, GUys! (Sorry, I'm still laughing my head off at that.)

So, a bit of backstory for those who aren't familiar: We first learned of Asmodean crystals in the Season 2 premiere, when Stolas opened the grimoire to reveal Norse runes on its pages. Someone on the internet was kind enough to translate:

Now here's the deal: Blitzo tells the lust demon to open the portal with his crystal (even threatening him at gunpoint), leading me to believe only non-imps could use Asmodean crystals and that's why he needed the grimoire to get to the human world.

But guess what happens later:

Blitzo's sister Barb, another imp, uses a crystal on her bracelet to open a portal back to Hell. So what exactly was the point of stealing the grimoire from Stolas??

BLITZO. YOU. DENSE. MOTHERFUCKER.

Okay, maybe I'll be generous and acknowledge that there might be another explanation, like Blitzo getting banned from using Asmodean crystals because he's misused them in the past. (Maybe there's a spell that causes the crystals to burn him every time he tries to hold one. Something of that nature.) But at this point I don't trust these writers to fill in their plot holes. Or plot portals, as the case may be.

-The portals themselves are kinda pretty, though. I can appreciate that they look different from the portals created by the grimoire.

-Moxxie calls Blitzo "sir" in this episode despite Blitzo telling him to use his first name in Truth Seekers. Moxxie then uses it in "Ozzie's" (if I remember correctly), but now he's back to "sir" for unexplained reasons-? Coupled with how their relationship has reverted back to square one with Blitzo learning nothing (as well as no one bringing up the agents or what they can do to stop them leaking the proof that demons exist), do the writers just want us to forget that episode or what?

-Blitzo chastises Moxxie for dragging the case out for a week, but it took him a week to track down Barb. This hypocrisy is never addressed.

-At the boathouse, Blitzo tells Moxxie he's looking for his sister, then kicks down the door, revealing Barb inside. Moxxie asks, "Do you know her?" "Do I know her? That's my sister, fuckface!" That's... oddly repetitive, writers. I get that Moxxie wouldn't immediately make the connection since Barb's disguised as a human, but there's a more graceful way to handle that in the dialogue. Something like, "Is this her?" "Oh, now you're on the ball!"

-In an earlier post I expressed concern that these writers wouldn't handle Barb's addiction well, and I'm somewhat relieved they didn't go into it. But I also predicted she'd amount to a genderbent Blitzo instead of having her own personality, and... well...

Overindulges in addictive substances? Check. Runs a business that requires travel to the human world? Check. Pottymouth? Check. Uses sexuality as leverage? Check.

It would've been nice to at least get a hint about what Blitzo did to make her hate him so much (and perhaps confronting that would make him rethink how he treats Moxxie-?), but I guess we'll have to find out when she comes back in seven episodes or so. Yaaaaay.

-Barb says she picked this particular human as her supplier because teenagers are easy to manipulate, but she really had no way to accomplish that other than flashing her panties at him? Assuming Barb and Blitzo are the same age, she's in her 30s, and... it's just a tad creepy and uncalled for, even if this kid's legal. That's a pretty big age (and power) gap regardless. This is one of those times when it looks a lot more predatory when you switch the genders, but, importantly, women can be predators too. Bad optics, y'all.

-The climactic fight scenes in prior episodes were snappy and exciting, but this one's pacing felt really sluggish. I get that the song in the background had a slower tempo than we're used to in these action scenes, but would it have been so hard to double-time the animation? Also, previous fight scenes were notable for their creative choreography, but Barb wrapped her tail around Moxxie twice in a row. Having trouble coming up with new fight moves, guys? Like damn, she's an acrobat. She could do so much more.

-In another edition of "characters being idiots because plot", Moxxie and Millie make out in front of everyone who thinks they're related. They couldn't have run off to somewhere more private?? Apparently no; this needed to happen so Millie's internet fame would be dashed... or, here's another option: Show how the internet popularity cycle is so damn short that everyone's already moved on to the next sensation. You could have made that funny if you actually put in some effort. Like... The faux-incest was just so unnecessary.

-Much like Murder Family, another unfunny ending where Moxxie's dreams are crushed. Blitzo gets his hopes up only to call him a "fuckin' disgrace". But remember, guys: He'S HArd oN hiM BEcauSE hE CAreS! (Fuck it, I think I'll just edit a supercut of every time Blitzo has berated Moxxie, pre- and post-Truth Seekers.)

Oh and look, Millie's glaring at Blitzo, which is totally the same as opening her mouth to tell him off like he deserves, right?

She'll take on a whole gang of mobsters out of love for Moxxie, but standing up to Blitzo? Whoa, that's a step too far. Y'know, because he's the writers' favorite and he shouldn't have to experience any complications from his behavior. Same old story as it's been for a season and a half.

This ending would've been a million times better if it left off on a cliffhanger. Maybe this could have been Moxxie's final breaking point. After Blitzo calls him a disgrace, Moxxie could take a deep breath and...

MOXXIE: (flatly) I quit.

Then he walks out of the room. Everyone looks after him, stunned. When he closes the door, the screen cuts to black and the credits roll.

Oh shit, what's going to happen next? How will Blitzo deal with this? How will it affect Moxxie and Millie's home life? What kind of new job will Moxxie find to keep food on the table? Will he ever come back to IMP, or will Blitzo find a replacement? I know these writers aren't too interested in serialization or any sense of continuity outside of the stupid romance subplot (or hell, inside it), but good god, it would give viewers some exciting possibilities to look forward to.

This episode had so much potential and followed through on none of it. "Unhappy Campers" turned out to be a more fitting title than expected, as that's exactly what I was while watching this.

(Also this show needs a continuity coordinator like yesterday.)

[shinidamachu]

I think you or someone else discussed how Inuyasha is most likely demisexual because of his lack of interest in nudity until he formed an emotional bond. I was just thinking how the anti’s claimed Inuyasha settled for Kagome, but all evidence points to him loving her *despite* her resemblance to Kikyo. Not hating on Kikyo, just pointing out how Inuyasha kept saying it’s his fault she died because he didn’t trust her, even though trust has to go both ways but whatever, so if he was settling then Kagome would be a daily reminder that he failed Kikyo. Which would sound like hell considering his repeated claims of his fault.

But clearly in the past discussion of Inuyasha being demisexual, we all know he isn’t shallow or ”settling”.

I might have mentioned Inuyasha being demisexual once or twice, but I don't remember posting something that specific. Maybe someone else did and I reblogged it?

I'm glad you brought up the "Inuyasha settled for Kagome" terrible take, though, because you make great points and boy do I have something to say about it.

First, I love that you mentioned trust has to go both ways despite Inuyasha blaming Kikyo's death solely on his lack of trust on her. It always bothered me how quickily and sincerely he owned up to the role he played on her fate when there was zero reciprocity from Kikyo.

He went as far as taking responsability for things that have never really happened and that would be completely out of his control if they had, such as Kikyo "dying to follow after him" even though he didn't ask for it and never would.

The irony is that, between the two of them, Kikyo was actually the one more equipped to realize they were being played and yet, not only she falls for the same trap, but never really acknowledges that her lack of trust on Inuyasha was just as detrimental to their downfall.

Naraku's entire plan was based on both of them doubting each other. If either one had been more trusting, it'd have failed. Inuyasha recognizes this and regrets not trusting Kikyo, immediately treating her like the victim that she is and never once blaming her.

But he is a victim himself and she never extends the same courtesy to him, still thinking her actions were justified because he should have trusted her — not the other way around — and so she never bothers easing his guilt. On the contrary, she purposely adds to it.

The thing about the love triangle — for lack of a better term — is that Inuyasha and Kagome are constantly pushing their feelings aside to empathize with each other's and Kikyo's pain, while Kikyo acts like she's the only one who's hurting.

Which is to be expected at first because she is the one who died and was brought back against her will, but as the story progressed, I kept waiting for Kikyo to see a little bit of herself on the ordinary girl who was entrusted the weight of the world upon her shoulders, had her shoes to fill and the mess she left behind to clean up.

I kept waiting for her to show some sympathy for the boy who lost fifty years of his life because she misjudged him and was willing to die for a debt she manipulated and guilt-tripped him into thinking he had, a boy she supposedly loves.

None of it came, at least not in a way that felt organic or satisfying. That's my main issue with how Kikyo was written. You can't paint her as a complex character and then gloss over her flaws. You can't sell her as gray character and then pretend the bad things she did never happened.

Takahashi wanted her to reap all of the rewards that come with a redemption arc without really bothering to make her go through one, because that would mean having Kikyo face her mistakes for what they were — including her distrust on Inuyasha — and then apologizing or making up for it, a feat that rarely happened in canon, if at all.

Instead, she abruptly stops acting as vicious, so everything can be conveniently forgiven and forgotten because "she isn't like that anymore." The lack of explanation about what motivated this change makes harder for the audience to connect with her and results in many plot inconsistencies.

And the lack of accountability regarding Kikyo's actions keeps her from growing and reaching her full potential as a character, indirectly regressing or preventing the development of the characters around her as well, which I believe is a huge part of why the story feels repetitive and stagnant at times.

Now, you're definitely onto something when you argue that all evidence actually points to Inuyasha falling in love with Kagome despite her resemblance to Kikyo. I've actually talked about it here and here.

While it's true that Inuyasha mistook Kagome for Kikyo when they first met, it would've been unreasonable to expect anything different. Their looks and scents are similar, he had just woken up from a fifty years long spell and up until then he had no reason to believe otherwise, but Inuyasha actually caught up in a decent amount of time.

After that, as much as he still refused to call Kagome by name, he was also very aware she wasn't Kikyo, to the point that it took seeing her with complete priestess attire on for him to even make that correlation again.

And yet, Inuyasha still doesn't go back into thinking they're the same person, but rather that Kagome's a girl who resembles Kikyo. Only eventually, even this starts to change the more time they spend together and suddenly, when Inuyasha has a nightmare about Kikyo, is Kagome he sees first.

Mind you, he has only seen Kagome in priestess clothes once. Kikyo wore those her entire life. It'd be understandable for him to confuse Kagome for Kikyo and yet Kagome was his first thought here when, by logic, she shouldn't have been. From them on, he doesn't even see any resemblance between the two girls at all anymore.

Which makes sense, because even if Inuyasha had tried to use Kagome as a replacement — something he never did — he couldn't possibly have succeded, since both girls are polar opposites — a creative choice that was done completely on purpose — and Kagome wasn't slightly interested on being anyone but herself, making her into the worst Kikyo replacement ever.

That's why it got easier for Inuyasha to distinguish one girl from the other with time. Their distinct personalities make up for completely different dynamics and bring completely different feelings out of Inuyasha, because they represent completely different things to him and, again: this is done absolutely on purpose.

In the manga, this is better illustrated by two very specific panels. In the first one, Kikyo is smiling sadly but genuinely at Inuyasha — which we don't see her do often — and he admitted later on that the exchange made him feel guilty, like he had done something wrong, since he had just been rude to her.

In the second one, Kagome is smiling brightly at Inuyasha, which she does constantly, then we immediately see him blush and think to himself how relieved he is to see that smile

Of course those are very different contexts, but they pretty much set the tone for both relationships and if the arrangement of those panels wasn't a conscious choice — which I doubt — then Takahashi is insanely lucky. It's also worth noting that Inuyasha felt relieved to see Kagome smiling because it was further confirmation that even after Kikyo's resurrection, she was still Kagome.

So I think it's safe to say the physical resemblance actually slowed the romantic process down, considering that the staged betrayal made Inuyasha build his walls even taller than they were when he met Kikyo. This becomes even more clear when you compare their respective first "amicable" conversations.

With Kikyo, even though he was reluctant about her approach and suspicious of her intentions, there was still a part of him that obviously wanted it to be true, so he was at least open to what she had to say.

With Kagome, he was visibly more aggressive and closed off because he has been burned before and she was the reincarnation of the woman who did the burning, which makes her managing to get his trust so quickly that much more remarkable, since she apparently did in less time and in worse circumstances, what Kikyo couldn't.

And Kagome did it precisely because she never acted like Kikyo. She actually took the time to know Inuyasha, to give him her trust and to earn his, to build a solid relationship, based on honesty and real acceptance.

I like to think that, while Kikyo found a crack on Inuyasha's defense she could slip in, Kagome slowly smashed his walls to the ground, therefore leaving an ever lasting impact on him that she couldn't have made by being anyone but herself.

When Inuyasha starts to pursue Kagome romantically, he does so after concluding that there's absolutely no resemblance between the two girls at all and after going through an entire arc where Kagome cried for his sake and trusted him blindly, none of which has anything to do with Kikyo.

People argue that Inuyasha was actually trying to kiss Kikyo here, but why would he do that when he still thinks she betrayed him? And if this was really the case, then why has he never willingly kissed or tried to kiss Kikyo until their final goodbye, Sunrise additions excluded?

At this point, it makes more sense to me that he was avoiding to look at Kagome not because she looks like Kikyo — he has been looking at her just fine before —, but because he has started to catch feelings for her despite his efforts not to and doesn't know how to act. In fact, when he had the chance to kiss Kikyo soon after, this is what we got instead:

And then he hugs her — something the anime cut out — but the important thing is that Inuyasha had this and many other opportunities to rekindle his relationship with Kikyo and simply didn't.

In this particular occasion, he even go as far as to ask Kikyo to return the piece of soul that keeps her "alive" to Kagome knowing full well what the consequences were.

Why would Inuyasha settle for a "replacement" when he could have the real thing instead? Even if you believe resurrected Kikyo to be nothing more than a malicious replica of the original, she's still more Kikyo than Kagome could or would ever be.

I dislike this notion because if it's true and there's not an ounce of Kikyo there, why should the audience or the characters care if she "lives" or "dies"? If she gets a redemption arc or not? It feels like a cop out to only consider her the real Kikyo when she does good things.

That being said, save for maybe one scene at the beginning where Inuyasha shoved a bow and some arrows at Kagome because Kikyo was a master archer, he never expected her to behave like Kikyo, never tried to change her so she would and never acted frustrated or disappointed at the fact that she was her own person.

Inuyasha has his flaws — as any good main character should — but he always respected the inviduality of both girls, which is more than I can say about the people who insist on this baseless take.

To wrongly paint Inuyasha as someone who settled for Kagome because she looks like Kikyo gets especially icky when even Naraku, the villain who was obsessed with her, never redirected said obsession to Kagome.

It's such a common trope that I was actually expecting it, but I'm glad it didn't happen because it's a subtle and yet effective way of sedimenting both girls as separate individuals instead of going for the cheapest option.

And ironically, the only character who treated Kagome as if she was Kikyo was Kikyo herself, but even that was very early on and she only seemed to do it as a way of belittling Kagome, because while mentioning her to other people — or by the end of the story — Kikyo had no trouble referring to Kagome as a different being.

Sunrise's adaptation made very questionable choices but something they were pretty consistent on was making clear Kagome and Kikyo aren't the same.

Besides, something fundamentally wrong with this argument is that Inuyasha comes off as shallow and Kikyo as disposeable. Shallow because it suggests physical appearance is all that matters — which goes against everything his character stands for in canon — and the soul is just a seal of approval.

Disposeable because it hints Kikyo's personality is so forgettable and unimportant that it played absolutely no part on sparkling Inuyasha's interest. She's so easily replaceable that even someone who had opposite world views, thoughts, feelings, temperament and mannerisms could do the trick. The memories they made are so generic that it wouldn't have make a difference if any other character was in her place.

Why do people even like those characters, why do they even ship them together if they truly believe that? That's why I don't buy that they actually do.

You see, considering how huge Kagome's soul is, Kikyo technically has got to be someone else's reincarnation too, but I've never seen anyone making the case that she is anyone but herself or that her predecessor is also the love of Inuyasha's life.

The reason they try to do this with Kagome is so that they can pretend Inuyasha and Kikyo somehow ended up together to cope with the fact that they didn't. And that's the exact same reason they pretend he setled for Kagome as well.

Which is funny because what exactly was Inuyasha settling for? Like, in the great scheem of things, what was Kikyo able to give him that he couldn't get a thousand times better from Kagome with no strings attached and just had to make his peace with it?

It seems to me like it was the other way around: Kagome managed to accomplish everything Kikyo failed to do, so if anything Inuyasha was settling, it was for Kikyo, resigned to spend the rest of his life as human — something he hated to be — just to get "accepted" or to die for something he didn't do just to appease her.

Finally, to say inuyasha settled implies he had no other choice but to marry Kagome. He had: staying single, because now that he has friends and wasn't alone anymore, he doesn't need a lover to fill that empty space in his life if he doesn't want one.

Plus, Kagome wasn't entitled to his love. She jumped trought that well knowing that three years is a long time, that people and feelings change and that what waited for her on the other side was a mystery, but she did it anyway because all she ever wanted from him was to stay by his side and for him to be honest with her.

Kagome would've been fine with a platonic relationship because even though she obviously wanted more, she was ready to accept whatever Inuyasha was willing to give her, but he wanted her to return so he could give her everything, which he couldn't before because he felt in debt with Kikyo. That's the whole point.

Inuyasha was the one who iniciated every romantic moment they had early on: the first hug, both almost kisses, etc. And it was clear that the things Kagome made him feel, such as that sense of peace, of belonging, of unadultered happiness, were very new to him, so the idea that Inuyasha was settling for her is laughable when this is the character in question:

I know a lot of those scenes were deleted or changed by Sunrise but I watched the anime without reading the manga beforehand and reached the exact same conclusions, so I'm still of the opinion that the people who convinced themselves Kagome was a consolation prize either didn't pay attention or have an agenda of their own to push, that won't change by reading the original material.

TLDR; one does not simply "settle" for their soulmate. They come home to them.

[tubbytarchia]

Also I need to say SOMETHING because I've been tormented by this for the past few days after having been made aware but yandere Pearl makes me so upset, imo it's such a disservice to her character!! That or other interpretations that just make her out to be evil. I understand the appeal of the trope and for AUs and stuff, ofc go wild!! But that is very much not what happened in DL canon and anyone who thinks that she's only interesting with the yandere trope attached is a fake fan!! Pearl was labelled crazy and of course she leaned into it, because what else does she do? Nobody wants her, everyone believes she's lost it, so she might as well!! At the very least it serves as some intimidation that Pearl CAN use to her advantage but did she ever want to? She's not crazy for Scott, not by any stretch of the imagination. She wanted some kind of approval, or acceptance. She didn't just want Scott to herself or whatever argument people try to make and she most certainly wasn't evil or cruel. Many times when people were getting up to mischief, Pearl didn't take large part if at all even if she was there. She often played along and, yeah, she played along, like most Lifers would, no? I can see how her behaviour could be observed as obsessive when she keeps trying to settle near Scott but, I don't even know how to articulate my thoughts other than to reinforce that that wasn't her obsessing over Scott. I suppose you could view Pearl as evil depending entirely on what you classify as evil in a death game where most everyone has to kill anyway, and where a lot of people commit arson and stuff (Joel killed some Jellies, loved to bully Jimmy, retaliated having the Relationship burnt down by burning every other establishment he could, is he also evil? What makes Pearl evil? Does she just get called that more because Joel is expected to be a menace by default?), but there is so much more nuance there than some form of "she flipped on a dime in session 1 and immediately became a crazy ex after a breakup". But you know what, that's what Scott wanted people to believe and if anyone in the fandom does then I have news for you

Also I'm not trying to say that playing a villain character is bad (Scott is such a villain though not at all a plainly visible one, and he's very compelling as a character) nor am I trying to make Pearl out to be some totally innocent sweetpea. Or maybe I am. #Pearl did literally nothing wrong to warrant this (but like, art of her being girlboss and stuff goes hard still, she OWNED the scene still when she embraced the label. She was mad cool, but it's not "being evil" that makes a character mad cool)

(PS don't take this too seriously, although I do heavily disagree with this interpretation personally, I'm not police and also I love all the Lifers including Scott dearly. Reminder that this is just about the characters they play and it's reasonable for viewers to believe his story foremost if they've only watched his POV and such, I think)

[elvendorx]

The Remus and Sirius height discourse has become so loaded. Today I saw a post claiming that viewing Sirius as taller than Remus means that one supports jkr? (What?)

Canonically, Sirius is taller than Remus. That's just a fact. And I understand that some people don't care about canon, and that's cool!! But even if you don't give a flying fig about canon, that does not make the view that Remus is taller than Sirius any more valid than the reverse, and you can't go around telling other people that they are wrong, or worse, bad people for not agreeing with a version of the character that exists in your head?

Look I get that it would be annoying to have people inject an "ahem actually..." on posts that are clearly based on headcanons. I get that. But that is the natural consequence of taking the names/tags of characters from popular fandoms and using them for your own OCs, and the fact that these fans jump to "they must be horrible people!" as opposed to "they might be confused about my relationship with canon" is... something.

As someone who is neurodivergent, I find that the fandom that claims to love diversity has very little tolerance for people who don't understand the unwritten rules about when canon is and isn't allowed to be used as a reference point. (Somehow, we still hate Snape because canon, but all other canon is garbage?) Sorry for the rant, I'm just tired and confused.

don't be sorry at all, i think this kind of thing needs to be talked about because at its worst, this rhetoric is an attempt at emotional manipulation and censorship. nobody is ever going to 100% agree even with the exact same words on a page - this is the entire literary criticism field, most of the time variation in readings are a good thing but this isn't even a "reading", because it has no bearing on the characters, they just are or aren't a certain height, so it becomes a tool for personal agendas - "if you think sirius was tall, you're a fascist". even though those two facts are not connected, because sirius' height is never anything more than a physical description of him. and it's glaringly obvious that the people who fixate on this aren't interested in sirius as a character, just as a vehicle for their own fantasies/validation.

this is the problem that comes from people trying to put dynamics & personalities that they want to see onto characters who don't fit those moulds. the height thing doesn't actually matter, it doesn't change anything in the narrative, but it summarises the attitude towards canon which for me summarises critical reading & reading comprehension as a whole within hp fandom. i don't think canon is perfect and i don't think it's sacred but i don't understand why you would engage with something that you have to twist out of recognition in order to enjoy it.

part of the fun of fandom, for me, is finding the limits and boundaries while maintaining recognition. at the very least, even if you change everything else, character has to be consistent. you have to recognise who you're working with otherwise what are you doing here? other authors are writing and have written exactly what you want, so why do you need this character with a history and motivations and a distinctive personality to be the ideal version of you/the partner you want (because lbr, that's it!). i'm not saying that people can't use their imaginations and bend things, i do it, and people can do that by bending characters out of recognition if they want. i don't get any enjoyment out of that or see the point in it but i'm not going to try and stop people. it's the flagrant dismissal of logic and evidence that i think is a more dangerous stance when applied more widely.

it's ALWAYS the people who want remus to be taller and sirius to be tiny who have 10 million personal reasons why they need it to be that way around despite it being clear that sirius is specifically tall, and remus is of such average and nondescript height that it's never mentioned. it's nobody else's responsibility to validate anyone's projections onto a fictional character, and your personal reasons for wanting a character to behave in a way that they wouldn't isn't anybody's responsibility. i don't think these kind of people see the irony in how they're trying to force their view on everyone else even though there's direct contradiction to it, yet are claiming that people who go with that feature from the text are violent fanaticists or something.

when you question why it makes such a difference to the "big strong remus and baby boi sirius" people, it comes down to "it's cuter" or "it allows me to simplify m/m relationships into tough and cute and use physical attributes as symbols rather than thinking complexly about personality traits and dynamics." the height thing is basically one step away from top/bottom discourse and just because someone identifies as queer or relates to a character doesn't make it unproblematic. if you need to see a character who represents your specific circumstances, find one or make an original one, imo. it's not an entire fandom's job to validate individuals and it's manipulative to suggest that someone else seeing a character according to the way that character is explicitly described is an act of hatred or violence or something.

apologies if this turned into a rant of its own - i don't CARE that sirius is tall but the attitude towards minor, basic facts is wild to me. it makes no difference to me but idk why you would take being taller than snape away from sirius bc he clearly enjoys being able to tower over him. if i did want to argue that sirius' height makes a difference in the text, i'd say that sirius is tall because padfoot is also a large creature and there seems to be some kind of reflection of the human in animagus forms, whereas the whole werewolf thing is something inflicted externally rather than something that comes from within the person so remus' human height isn't reflected by his lycanthropy. but that's a whole other question i would have to research more.

[fortheloveofexy]

Top 5 vs Personal 5

List your top 5 fics ranked by kudos on AO3. are you surprised by what's most popular to your readers? then provide your ranking of your personal top 5 fics, and tag a few fellow writers!

Thanks for the tag @mostlymaudlin ! tagging @jingerhead @paradoxolotl @exy-shmexy @storiesnstardust

Top 5 (by Kudos):

1. Call Me By Your Name (3.9k, andreil)  

Basically, Neil calls Andrew “baby” in his sleep once, so Andrew  gets flustered and then secretly tries out different pet names for Neil.

This one... honestly really surprised me with how popular it got. It’s my most kudos’d fic by a long shot (2,378 kudos??? insanity). It’s a short little thing, entirely focused around andreil and pet names. To be honest, I have mixed feelings about this one being the top fic, because it’s one of my oldest fics and I don’t really love the prose now. I don’t really understand why it got so popular out of everything I wrote bc it’s never anyone’s favorite fic when I ask, but I’m glad so many enjoyed it!

2. Sweet Enough To Eat (3.1k, andreil) 

Andrew experiencing cute aggression. That’s basically the whole premise lol.

 Anyway, this one is my oldest fic, so I assume that’s why it’s so popular. It’s cute, sweet even! I still like it to this day. Not much else to say about it though.

3. May We Meet Again (10.7k, andreil)

The first installment of the Artist Neil AU. 

To be honest, I don’t like it anymore. That whole AU has problems with pacing, and some characterization issues too. Plus, looking back at the art now makes me cringe so hard. The only reason it’s still up is bc I know a lot of people really like it. Sometimes I think about revising the whole thing but I still remember how big of an undertaking it was when I first wrote it and made all the art for it, so I probably won’t. 

4. The Marks We Make (41.3k, andreil)

A (mostly) canon rewrite from Andrew’s POV with a soulmate AU twist. 

This the first multichapter fic I ever wrote, and one of the earliest fics I ever published, so I’m not surprised it’s high on the list. There are some things I like about this one, and some I would do differently. Writing this fic helped me make some of my first friends in the fandom though, so it was very much worth it.

5. Yes Or No? (35.5k, andreil)

sub andrew & Dom Neil pwp - need I say more?. 

This one truly surprised me. It was meant to be a one-shot experiment, something I wrote as an exploration of my own boundaries and limits. BDSM fics are often triggering for me, so I generally avoid them, but I wanted to write a BDSM fic that I would be able to enjoy and to explore BDSM from a safe distance.

However, given how much the fandom seemed to be against Andrew submitting (and sometimes even just bottoming) at the time, I worried I might end up getting hate for writing it. To my surprise, I did not, and so many commenters asked that I continue it that I ended up turning it into a whole series. 

I’m quite proud of it still - it might just be a smut fic to most people, but it will always be more than just a smut fic to me. 

I do hate the last 3 paragraphs of the main fic though. I was on a kick where I thought incorporating references to fic titles and canon lines into my writing was clever and fun, but now I just cringe when I look at it. Ahh well, maybe someday I’ll change it and tell nobody. Create a little Berenstein/Berenstain Bears moment :)

Top 5 (Personal Ranking):

1.  More Than Words (32.9k, ongoing, neon friendship)

Neil and Aaron meet as kids and become best friends, long before Aaron learns his mother’s secret - he has a long lost twin brother.

I cannot gush enough about the love I have for this fic, this whole story. I can’t talk about it here because I have some insane twists planned (iykyk) but just know this fic is my baby and this story will be my magnum opus once it’s done. I love writing Neil and Aaron’s friendship, I love writing Aaron’s POV, I love the plans I have these boys. It’s still ongoing so I understand why it’s not higher up in the kudos ranking, but I’m hopeful that will change once I actually finish it.

2. A Quiet Self-Destruction (2.6k, andreil)

A character study on Andrew’s experience with depression, and how Neil helps him through his bad days.

I wrote this to comfort myself during one of my own depression spells. It still brings me a bit of hope on dark days. For that, I will always love it.

3. Scribbles and Sticky Notes (11.7k, andreil)

Neil retires from Exy, with heaps of fluff, soft Andreil, wholesome Twinyards, hurt/comfort, MCD and angst.

Hands down, this is the saddest fic I’ve ever written, and I’m quite proud of that fact. I think the pacing is really good, and the gut punches are quite successful (while being foreshadowed quite nicely). The characterization is also spot on, I think. It’s got MCD though, which I think is probably why it’s not more popular. 

4. The Past, Stained Red (4.4k, andreil)

Part 3 of the Artist Neil AU. Andrew has a surprise run-in with a ghost from his past, and finally gets some closure.

This is the only fic of the Artist Neil AU that I actually still like. It’s well-paced, well-characterized, and I still like the art. Mostly, though, I viciously loved writing Andrew getting to close the door on Cass, and I loved writing him acknowledging the harm she did to him as a foster parent. He couldn’t see it as a child, but as an adult? He sees her clearly, in all her failure. It was extremely cathartic to write that. 

5. Catdrew Meowyard (1.4k, andreil)

Andrew suddenly has cat ears and a tail. Nobody questions it. Shenanigans ensue.

This is such a silly little fic. I wrote it as a joke and I still love it dearly, even though it’s very dumb. It’s just very fun to write and to read, and it’s perfect for when I want to blow off steam and write some crack.