#eventually. with some ups and downs lmao
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Wow I can't believe how lovingly Brea and Rex look at each other whenever they're on screen together!! You can really feel how much they care for one another... 🥺💖💖
alternately I decided to have some fun and paint over a screenshot of Rafa bcs I'm sick and tired of Brea not being canon, FILONI!!!
Taglist♡: @me-myself-and-my-fos @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @sunstar-of-the-north @dearly-beeloved @sosoftandsweet @changeling-selfship @little-miss-selfships @drjohndisco @bob-in-tekken-8
#artfarts#self insert#self ship#self ship art#self shipping community#star wars#star wars the clone wars#star wars oc#star wars self insert#💙 oh captain my captain 💙#captain rex#i mean?? brea is kinda the focus but hes there....lazily#dont..point out how lazy his inclusion is ok im just having fun here 😂😂 but yeah have this!! im actually rly pleased with this???#i was worried id need to do SOME linework bcs i wasnt confident in my painting skills but it turned out i didnt!! 🥺👉👈#and this is as canon as brea is gonna get...unless i learn to 3D model. no i shant#but SERIOUSLY im not usually one to harp on canon but this is one instance where itd GREATLY improve the story abffjjgmg#include my self insert!! rex gets to be happy#eventually. with some ups and downs lmao
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adhd is when you shoot for the moon but you forgot the rocket fuel and by the time you realize it everyones already on the moon and then you panic and crash into the sun and it explodes
#my meds stopped working and i didnt know thats something that can fucking happen apparently???#like i knew eventually my body can get used to medicine that the effect kind of dulls but for some reason this time around i thought#that my body just decided to become lazier since the meds were already working anyway. cuz thats the thing as soon as smth is made#easier for me even if its the thing thats supposed to make the disability less disabling i get too relaxed and end up fucking up anyway#so i assumed my fucking cells worked the same way LMAO. they still technically work like i can feel my energy spike when it kicks in#but everything else like focus and memory went down and i thought oh so its just a me problem then. my habits are getting worse#even though ive been doing everything the same like setting reminders checking my schedule. hell ive been setting MORE reminders#to make up for the memory thing and i didnt even realize i just knew i had to compensate since it feels like my memory is getting#worse again. and i only figured this out bc my brother showed me an icecreamsandwich video with him talking about the EXACT FUCKING#THING IM GOING THRU WORD FOR WORD#i have to bring this up with my doctor next week so maybe i have to take different meds. i wonder if this will be a recurring thing#i guess one thing that hasnt changed is that im still slow as hell and stuff only comes to me 5 hours after the fact#its 6 in the morning and i only JUST realized that the word froyo is probably short for frozen yogurt#yapping#adhd
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Can we talk about how Karen definitely has some sort of PTSD because you can't just wake up one day with a knife and bloody hands and a dead coworker on your carpet one and then be fine. You don't get arrested and then almost strangled to death while in custody and be fine. You don't get kidnapped and threatened and then kill someone in self defense and be fine.
Oh my god can we PLEASE talk about Karen and her trauma oh my GOD.
#i havent seen the series in a while but ive started rewatching it again#still in s1 currently so i dont remember the later seasons very well#but just#karen definitely has some trauma#also since ive been thinking about how cute nelson murdock and page are as a trio i cant help but think#about karen calling one of them in the middle of the night just to hear their voice to calm down#Karen trying to call matt every time but he never picks up. so she learns to call foggy instead.#foggy asking one night if she wants him to come over#karen agreeing and foggy coming over and making them both hot cocoa or smt before going to bed#karen sleeps better and feels much safer with someone else right next to her#after karen finds out matts identity- matt hearing karen having a nightmare and if its a quiet nigjt he will climb through her window#and he'll comfort her#and she knows she always has the devil of hells kitchen looking out for her#something about the image of matt in his daredevil getup and cuddling karen is so cute to me ngl#karen makes fun of him and his stupid lil horns and he eventually pulls the cowl off ofc#anyway#lmao that was a lil ramble. i love platonic m/f relationships sm#stiff talk#daredevil#karen page
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“Hello! You there, in the cot. I know you’re feeling sleepy, but I wonder if you’d mind taking a brief survey. I’m sure it will make you feel right as rain. Five questions.”
There’s a crackling over the speaker. Or maybe it’s in his head. Everything feels at once itchy and gloopy. He tries to sit up as the speaker fizzes, there’s mumbling on the other side but it’s indistinguishable as language.
“Where am I?” The man asks, pushing up from the bare cot, looking around the room which seems to be made up of concrete walls and little else.
“Close, the first question is actually: who are you?”
Where was it coming from? The voice seemed to echo off all of the walls, its source at the moment unknowable. The man jumps off the cot, barely that - it’s only some green canvas stretched over a metal frame, an intense prickling filling his brain and sinking down his spine. What was that called? Anxiety. This wasn’t right.
“What is this place, where am I?” He asks again, pacing the room. There’s one exit. A metal door set into the concrete walls. Beside it a black panel with dozens of tiny holes. The speaker. Beside the cot he woke up on there’s a chair made of metal. Florescent lights beam from the ceiling causing the man to squint as he zeros in on the speaker grill. He nearly trips over his feet reaching for the door. He tries the handle, it doesn’t budge. He pulls. Nothing. Pushes. More of the same. Not even any give in the hinges or lock. Whatever was holding it in place wasn’t something he could get past.
“Who are you?”
Calm down, breathe. The man tries to order his thoughts into rationality, fighting the building rage and stress that's filling his entire body. Find out what they want, if you can give it to them then you may make it out alive. If you can’t… convince them you can. The man analyses the voice. Young, most likely male, tone what could be called chipper. It doesn’t seem threatening, or deceptive. Still best to be cautious.
“Who are you?” The voice comes once more, some of the cheerful edge is dulled this time, like it expected an answer by now and doesn’t know why it’s not getting a response. Like turning on the radio and expecting a song but only getting static when everything seems to be in working order.
Play along for now, the man thinks. He goes to answer, only to find out he can’t. Nothing’s physically stopping him, there’s air in his lungs and his lips are free to move. But he can’t answer. The simplest of questions, he reaches for the information in his brain and it’s just- gone. He clamps his jaw shut, teeth clicking together. His veins turn to ice.
What the hell is going on here.
“If you can’t answer, feel free to say unknown.”
He needs to get out. He needs to get to- Make sure- Is safe- It’s his job to- Home is-
There’s only one way out of this room, built of concrete and smelling of freshly printed pages and antiseptic (how does he know that?) and it’s through that door. Whoever is talking through the speaker can open it. He picks up his hat and runs a hand through his sandy blonde hair.
“I don’t know.” The man says, voice floating out of him like it doesn’t even belong to him. Maybe it doesn’t, how would he know?
“Unknown. Okay. Second question, in which US state or territory were you born?” He reaches for it. Nothing again. The ice in his veins spreads again, as the anxiety builds. His breath speeds up and his fists clench. He takes a step back from the door. Stay calm. He shakes his head. They must be watching him because the voice goes on.
“Unknown! Great.” Some of the chipperness has returned. He didn’t notice the round black bump above the door before, like a beady eye staring him down. How does he know that it’s a camera? He’s never seen one before, but he knows exactly what it is and what it does. The urge to run begins to overwhelm him the longer this goes on. His stomach twists with nausea. Commonly caused by motion sickness, intense pain, early pregnancy, food poisoning, various enteroviruses or in this case emotional distress.
“Question three, please name any US state or territory.”
“Uh- I don’t know… Delaware.” Delaware? Where did that come from? What else? Georgia. Iowa. Alaska.
“Delaware.”
New York, California, Virginia, New Mexico.
“Question four, what is Mr. Eagan’s favourite breakfast?”
Illinois, Rhode Island, Texas, Idaho. There’s another voice in the background, one he hasn’t heard up until now. It’s deeper, exasperated. God, he thinks it says. The chipper voice ignores it. So there’s someone else there. Maybe someone higher up, someone in charge?
“I don’t know who that is.” He reaches for the handle of the door again and jiggles it futilely. “Maybe we can have a conversation and you can tell me face to face.”
“I’d love to chat with you, after we finish the survey.”
He lets out a terse laugh, a smile tightening his lips - but not with amusement. The action feels familiar.
“And would you look at that, we’re on the final question! To the best of your memory, what is or was the colour of your mother’s eyes?” Does he even have a mother? He must. Everyone has a mother. The nausea threatens to take over and the man turns around looking for a bucket or a trash can. There’s nothing but the cot and the chair. He stumbles towards them.
“I don’t remember.”
“Unknown! Wow!”
“What the hell is this?”
“Unknown, unknown, Delaware, unknown and unknown right?”
“Look if you don’t tell me what the hell I’m doing here I-“
The door swings open and out of it comes a kid who can’t be older than 17, holding a clipboard and grinning behind large circular glasses.
“Gee sir, you got a perfect score! And quicker than most too, that first question is usually what really trips people up but you done it just swell.”
#mash#fanfiction#severance#bj hunnicutt#radar o'reilly#ah okay so i know i did a poll and the creepy creature is winning but i just wanted to get a bit of this down so i dont forget#and yes if you didnt know the man in this is BJ#i can only write mash fic from his perspective for some reason idk hawkeye scares me lmao#this is i guess the first part of what would be the first chapter? idk maybe it will be nothing but enjoy it anyway#it would be eventual hunnihawk bc i cant not have a romantic angle but i think it would mostly be a bj character study in a severance au#anyway enjoy this bit and let me know if u want more#also if you have something that would work better for the mr eagan breakfast question#im gonna change that bit anyway i just couldnt come up with anything yet#mine
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daily whistlebreeze until fae becomes PoV day 1427
Whis really has some odd friends after Ivypool's Heart
#warrior cats#whistlebreeze#icewing#windclan#medicine cat#riverclan#some spoilery tags a bit further down lmao#so I get to ramble a bit lol#this Ice design is up for an overhaul#I still like making her pure white but I think I need to change the shapes up a bit#I like the base vibe but there's this Something#so I'll get to it eventually (hopefully)#I mean I did Petalfur for my JayCurl family spread so I could just real quick also do the IceMint family itself#icestar#leader
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very, VERY late, but i present to you:
a collection of quite possibly the worst valentines ever
#three weeks late#but i'm done lol#the funniest part is that i was initially gonna only do nine#but by the time i had actually written my ideas down i had forgotten some of the ones i REALLY wanted to do#which i then remembered and went 'eh three more won't kill me'#....before proceeding to once again forget the one that had made me want to add three more in first place lmao#it was objectively the most cursed one to be fair so maybe it's for the best#but still lmao. i may be stupid :]#anyways#oc shiz#shook arts#takoshi (oc)#aleino (oc)#saya (oc)#mira (oc)#kaiji (oc)#rijami (oc)#synia (oc)#also known as#s (oc)#sumi (oc)#saino (oc)#kiko (oc)#william (oc)#celari (oc)#half of these guys have literally never been posted about here jcknvjkhcv#that's fine though they'll show up eventually lol#anyways i hope this is as funny as i think it is bc if not i'm just gonna feel stupid :]
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I get the sense that Nina is gonna haunt the next season.
#creature commandos#discussion in tags ->#im having A Moment#bride crashout incoming question mark.#i would Love To See her go after flag but its not gonna happen lol#i mean i guess she already kinda did. killing Rostovic. but like. i want her to lose it#bride says shes the only kind one out of them. she finally accepts that theyre friends and then accidentally drives her to her to her death#i want nina to have been a Uniting Force of the team. i want everything to go to shit w/o her there#a character whose Whole Life is defined by being a perceived burden to others is finally almost able to prove herself and.#i want the bride to go absolutely postal i want phosphorus to try changing for the better. asterisk. sorta. hear me out#the bride is just about nihilistic atp. she straight up says if rostovic hadnt killed nina she wouldnt have cared enough.#she deserved to have a sparkling fiery vengeful meltdown about everything next season. and she should get to kill eric godspeed.#phosphorus has already gotten his revenge.#he went through terrible shit and killed everyone who wronged him and then went on a hedonistic bender about it.#(phosphorus is also the only one to go by a different name. and he chose it for himself. i dont have anythng to say abt that yet but. ow)#but he clearly is still wracked with guilt about his wife and kids deaths too. He goes for Thorne at home. He definitely kills his kids.#in what i can only see as an intentional parallel.#but then in pokolistan when he is given a Very Legitimate reason to kill the little girl [she could out the team] not only does he Not-#he talks to and plays with her in a way that is Immediately a parallel to his own kid owwwww#[for hours possibly? isnt it night when theyre being chased and morning when her parents come down?? ill have 2 check tho]#good god im off topic anyway#phosphorus is a sarcastic prick like. comedically so.#the aformentioned scene is pretty much the only time in the whole show hes even remotely sincere#when him and the bride are trying to reassure nina before she goes to kill the princess-#he A] sounds genuinely earnest B] calls her “kid” and C] waits for her to leave before ruining it lmao#and like. i dont know if he felt paternal or anything but i do think her death is gonna mess him up a little#or maybe theyll all get worse.. i wouldnt be annoyed if they all crash the fuck out together. GI is gonna find out eventually too.#also hes reformed. kinda. in some of his recent comic appearances which makes for a fun dynamic certainly#christ this was a novel im sorry hsajdghkgdah#i dont rly have a satisfying ending i just. Ouagh
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Had a weird Hollow Knight-related dream a couple days ago, so I decided to draw a major scene I remembered from it dgsgshf
More context will be in the tags, for those interested!
#hollow knight#little ghost#hk ghost#the knight#hk hornet#hornet#alright. as of writing these tags it's been a week since the original dream so! let's see what i remember dgsgsgf#i was playing a game. which was a sequel to hollow knight ((Not silksong though))#there was some new sort of divine infection in hallownest and hornet had asked ghost to investigate it. they ended the last one after all!#the red glowy spike gate thingy is what you jumped into to enter the 'infected' areas#though it actually led directly to a hub world type of place. which was kinda like an expanded base for the grimm troupe?#more like an entire lair instead of a camp. also some greek gods were there for some reason lmao. they had their own special rooms too#so sidenote but- new headcanon that there are grimm troupe members named ares athena artemis &... venus lmao. not aphrodite for some reason#also monomon was there?? i think??? except she was cooking????? she had a sidequest to deliver something to someone though i dunno hdgfhdgh#i remember going back to the grimm troupe lair a couple times throughout my 'playthrough'#anyway. the 'infection' this time around was more of a glitchy physical corruption thing? rather than a mind corruption.#though there were still aggressive enemies to fight. but i remember getting a map from cornifer early on and he was. probably infected#i think part of his body was covered in electricity or something? so he wasn't fully visible? but he was still acting normally#there was also a moth who was the seer but then later wasn't the seer (but was still the same moth) dghgdhf. i delivered stuff to her#that glowing white wall thing in the drawing was like a one-way gate. you could only cross it from the other side and ghost came from there#i guess things looped back up somehow i dunno ghdgfhgf#anyway. ghost's red eyes. those are significant! those happened while i was walking through a corridor. it had pools of shallow water#(shallow enough to just walk through) and also creatures that were lightseeds but red.the implication was that they were full of Blood lmao#and as i went along killing them--as one does--as i walked through the hall. they started turning the water red too#there was also narration about this as it was happening ashdgsf. specifically the narrator said the water turned red before it actually did#ghost's eyes slowly turned red too. but aside from that they were fine! since. they're the player character and the player is perfectly fin#BUT. when they encountered hornet again. she thought they were infected. and that she lost the only family she had left </3#she didn't attack though. instead she just jumped into the red spike gate without a word. decided to try to fix everything herself#but eventually you'd encounter her again down below and she'd fight you. didn't actually get to that in the dream though#aand i'm out of tags </3 i wanted to talk about what i'd do to make this make more sense as an au or something now that i'm awake but. :c
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Chewing Viago and Fiorenzo's post-Incident dynamic in my head
#what if i sent you away from the only home and family you've ever known to save your life (even though i'd never admit it on pain of death)#in the process exercising the total life-and-death authority over you that i've had for years but we've always danced around acknowledging#and fractured our relationship in a way that deep DEEP down i fear might never fully heal :)#fiorenzo is ... not in a good place for a while after having to leave antiva#and when he comes back neither of them quite know how to reconcile#fiorenzo is a stubborn little bastard with some spite and passive aggression thrown in along the way#so his initial response is 'oh you want this to be just talon-crow business? you said you want me to improve my judgement and grow up? FINE#malicious compliance coupled with grey-rocking every one of viago's attempts to provoke him into the old dynamic#no more joking smiley chatty fiorenzo#'why are you mad viago :) you always said you hated me behaving like that :) :)'#they do get better ... eventually ... but it takes a while and it's hard going lmao#veilguard#rook de riva#fiorenzo de riva#viago de riva
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sorry but i really really do Not like the ideas people have of sonic actually liking amy back and being too shy to admit it. or that sonic SHOULD agree to be amys boyfriend because amy "deserves it after waiting for so long" and by not doing that sonic is mean or immature or leading her on. or that yeah sonic isnt interested Now but they Will get married as adults. or whatever people go around saying.
for the entire time amy was actually open about her crush and trying to get sonic to date her he would almost always either outright reject her or just not say anything but still obviously be uncomfortable or annoyed by it. to say that he actually has always liked her or that he Should like her just feels like youre saying his feelings of not being interested in amy or romance in general arent valid and are a problem that needs to be fixed. that he MUST be with amy just because she likes him and he needs to get over any discomfort he has with the idea because he doesnt have a choice. its like people are so obsessed with shipping that theyre ignoring sonics feelings or at the very least prioritizing amys over his . Hello can anyone hear me
#also people getting mad at sonic for not wanting to be in a serious committed relationship . hes 15 ?????#and sonic not wanting a romantic relationship still wouldnt be a problem even if he was an adult to be clear#its just especially weird and unrealistic to expect a teenager to ''settle down'' or whatever#expecting it from amy is a bit strange too considering shes even younger than sonic . but Whatever#sorry for the long rant. every day i wake up and see terrible takes about sonic and amy and what their relationship is/should be like#the ideal resolution to the whole crush thing isnt sonic eventually liking her back#its sonic never liking her that way but amy being ok with that and accepting that and theyre still best friends#that is what would be best for them as characters i think#mandatory disclaimer that i love amy#because ive seen some people act like hating so//namy or sh//adamy or whatever other amy ship#and liking amy as a character are mutually exclusive opinions. which is annoying and i dont want people assuming i hate amy#okay to reblog by the way but not if youre going to try to argue with me becuase i dont feel like arguing about this lmao
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unfortunately every time i contemplate perpetrating a text post i get a sentence or three into it only to experience agonies over the hideousness of my own prose styling
which is putting something of a crimp in this whole 'what if i started blogging again' experiment
#there's of course also the question of like. do i owe it to myself and/or to my ~audience~ to Explain My Long Absence#or like. 'owe' is the wrong word. but there IS stuff i'm interested in unpacking#however as a guy who took an extra decade to get a BA bc [] couldn't write a paper to save [] life#and as a result kept failing classes []'d been doing extremely well in prior to the arrival of Final Paper Guillotine#(side note oh boy am i developing new pronoun problems. is this an exciting new development i will promptly be proceeding to ignore.)#(MAYBE SO.)#the idea of like. writing a whole big personal essay abt the issues i developed from the environment i turned tumblr into for myself#(yes that's awkward phrasing but i get frustrated when people get on tumblr to complain about tumblr without acknowledging that like#whatever tumblr is for you is what you've said yes‚ either actively or passively‚ to letting accrete around you#so like. not gonna let myself off the hook abt that any more than i would anyone else. i said yes a thousand times to my own ruination.)#is. well. i like to think i've learned a LITTLE about setting myself up for failure‚ lmao#i expect i WILL get into it eventually bc like. what are we all here for if not some degree of omphaloskepsis#but like. just say no to the big opening programmatic mission statement concept#instead you get the deliberately-mediocre scribble to break in the sketchbook#and maybe down the line some other stuff in dribs and drabs
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.
#so i had acute tracheitis like two weeks ago#then at the follow-up visit the doctor said i was ok#so i went to malta for my vacation without worrying about the occasional cough that eventually stopped#but then at the end of the trip i suddenly had temperature 39°C#i got better and went back to poland#i got home yesterday but suddenly today my voice is gone#and i started coughing again#so i went to see the doctor at our local weekend and holidays public health clinic#and it turns out i have acute tracheitis (again)#AND i also have acute laryngitis (new)#i had a doctor's leave before my vacation and now i have a doctor's leave again krehxksjkx my boss will be upset but oh well#i'm on antibiotics again 🤧#anywayyyyyyyyy why am i sick again the doctor said i was fine the last time 😞😞😞 WELL#anyway i felt totally fine for 8 out of 10 days there so i'd say the trip was still ABSOLUTELY AMAZING#absolutely amazingggg guys i loved it so much#i'm so glad the sickness came back only at the very end when i had already seen and done almost all i planned so it was okay#it was so wonderfullll i need to show my army followers here some pictures later on because oh man are they crazy#okay rant over i'm going to go lie down#maybe watch a bit of bon voyage on malta lmao it's so fun to watch it now that i've been there myself#my post#personal
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thinking of book binding my online history
#or scrapbooking idk#like my smb chapters from wp and then for tumblr my personal posts and maybe tags and some asks#oh and also my poetry book for the wp stuff i would imagine#wish i could back up the warriors rp somehow but that sounds. difficult i would have to like screenshot every comment and there are a lot 💀#reading my old diaries and travel journal entries always makes me smile and so does revisiting old online stuff… for the most part at least#there are still some things that make me go oh my god leigh why would you say that but#eventually all of this is going to be shut down and i don’t want the whole period of my life from middle school to now gone. because other#than travel journals and the quarantine journal i was required to do during lockdown for ap lang lmao i haven’t consistently#journaled since elementary school#<- on that note thinking of picking it back up im not sure. the problem is when i write journal entries i write a LOT and it would be very#time consuming and hard to keep up esp w pen and paper. looking at you travel journal that always starts with like 20 pages per day and#then i eventually resort to keeping bullet points in my notes app telling myself i’ll write the full entry later except i never do and#have to copy the bullets straight into the journal a year and a half later because i have since forgotten the details behind them#anyway.#chesschats
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Not to be dramatic and point fingers but why is it that the worst people with no respect towards art or anything that doesn't involve mindless consumption for "the lore" always have to be drakengard 3 and nier fans. like i don't even try to look and search for things to complain about regarding them but somehow every stupid fucking thing in this fanbase comes back to them
#gu6chan's musings#can talk about this here so literally a couple of days ago#this dude decided to post a 'machine translation' of the dod1 side story and you know what they fucking said?#'maybe someone like barnabisms can come pretty it up in the distant future 😍'#and i was like 'what the fuck are you talking about i did NOT spend 4 years putting painstaking effort into my shit just for you to come#along and say 'that could've all been done with a machine; actually lol''#i ended up getting REALLY upset about it (the most upset about something ive been in a while) and was like#'whats even the point. i was gonna do the dod2 sidestory but yk what go ahead and fucking do that too if machine tl is that good'#and eventually they took the post down and apologised and their whole reasoning was they weren't thinking bc they wanted to see the lore.#and like. you just want to consume more content is the fucking thing. you don't actually care about any of this#i should have had an idea when they tried arguing to me about the one -> seere/manah heritage being a good thing bc it 'connected' the two#games (disregarding any damage manahs already established character arc TOOK bc of that 'connection')#and they were a huge nier fan by the looks of it too and like. come on i keep saying SURELY they can't all be like that#and it sounds awful for me to say it like this but it's always fucking them somehow reaching new lows making shit unbearable 'for the lore'#i rlly rlly hate this fanbase man#again I'm feeling a lot better but Godddd it's gonna take some effort to get back into tl again after this tbh#but people were very supportive :') it made me feel a lot better bc at that point i was like please just someone care lmao#hung out with some friends last night and it was a good time#but yeah im gonna have to say more on this whole issue later tbh. i really dislike stirring conversations and shit up but!!!#ppl need to have more fucking respect!!!!
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Dropping my Undergu Empire OC before tomorrow, when it's revealed the whole empire was just those five weirdoes all along or something.
Anyways, her name is Caprikon and she's a recruiter and an instructor for the Undergu Empire's army.
She doesn't usually directly attack weaklings but, unlike Minoton, it's not out of some sense of honor or anything like that. She simply doesn't feel like they're worth going all out if they can't put up an interesting challenge.
Regardless, she finds amusing to humour them, pretending to be more on par with their abilities, just so she can watch them build themselves up and then inevitably crash once they get way too over their heads. This makes her appear kind and friendly, especially to younger recruits, even though she's usually condescending and deep down doesn't really respect them much.
When she finds strong opponents she's more than thrilled to actually throw hands herself though, and you know she actually respects someone when she doesn't hold herself back.
#ai's random art#hirogaru sky precure oc#undergu empire oc#Caprikon#If she met the cures she'd probably lose a couple of times before being 'okay hell yeah fuck this' and actually square up herself#she probably underestimated Tsubasa bc wdym he is Wing lmao he's the tiniest puni bird ever#and then she learns her lesson and headbutts him out of the skies#idk if she'd stay on Earth eventually and get some development or not yet but if she did it'd be tied to Wing and maybe Butterfly a bit#because she's a TERRIBLE instructor who doesn't really respect her students as people unlike Ageha#and unlike Tsubasa she's not only burying her goals but also tearing everyone else's down instead of helping them as it's her duty#blgh I still gotta figure out her outfit style a bit and the color palette#also i have another oc who's a moth and complements her a bit in a teacher- annoying student dynamic but I'm still trying to find a name#and finish up an acceptable design
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I'm trying to find ways to slowly ease my way into taking walks (debilitating social anxiety) so I was going to download pokemon go again but my phone is too old :(
#im actually very upset abt this lol#all of the other tricks ive found rely on having a dog to walk#and like i would love to get my own dog but i absolutely cannot afford one lmao#so i guess i just. still can't go on walks#nobody seems to understand just how impossible it is for me to walk down the street when im not trying to get somewhere#like just going for a walk for fun/to look at nature feels like im being killed#people are LOOKING at me and when someone even so much as glances at me while im walking i instantly feel like I'm doing something wrong#or like they're going to misunderstand my sort of odd behaviors#i can't walk slow because they'll think im a stalker. i can't walk fast because ill get out of breath and they'll think im disgusting#i can't keep a normal pace because im too nervous and i just spend the whole time tense and hate myself even more when i get home#like. what the hell am i supposed to do lol#getting a dog is the only way i think i could stop myself from spiraling like that bc of COURSE im walking slow and leisurely.#im walking my dog. my dog wants to smell and has to poop or whatever#im no longer a freaky fat stalker im just some guy walking my dog#this became more of a vent than i was expecting lmao but if anyone has any actual tangible tips for how to go on walks i would appreciate it#when i had to walk 2 miles to class i used to take a small part of an edible right before i got on the bus lmao and that worked WONDERS#but i don't want to have to do that just to walk around my own neighborhood when i eventually move out#i just want to be normal lmao i want to go out and find bugs and look at leaves#i guess i could walk in the woods but what if i get lost#i want to be able to look at stuff. i want to be able to stop and look at a plant while some person passes by me#without feeling like im going to blow up or like they're going to hit me or like IM going to hit THEM#im used to anxiety but i always feel so erratic in public places. when everyone wore masks i was a little better#i still mask most of the time but it doesn't help anymore bc now im like one of the only people that does it#so now instead of blending in AND having my face covered i just stand out more#my face is still covered so it still helps but its like barely a net positive lmao#i want to be able to look around without worrying that someone is looking at me from their window and thinks im a stalker#truly how the hell am i supposed to do that without a dog lol
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