#every time I saw him while playing zero I was just like god this guy fucks. this guy fucks

[designernishiki]

if we get a Character With The Most Drip poll imma need yall to pull thru and vote for my man kuze. no one drips like that motherfucker and you know it

[gremlingottoosilly]

Maid-up problems (Konig x maid!Reader)

Konig goes to a maid cafe. Billions must perish. Tags and CW: yandere Konig, obsessive and creepy behaviour, Konig is a bit of a perv, colonel loser Konig, maids and maid cafes, general fluff, slight age difference, slight size difference, mostly from Konig's pov. AO3

— Welcome home, master. What your maid I get for you today, hm? König just died and went to heaven. Heaven consists of pretty girls running around in fluffy skirts, little aprons and putting on adorable headbands with white ruffles. Heaven filled with the smell of reheated pastries and pre-made snacks, with neutral sweet perfume and the stench of sweat from the customers. Heaven is filled with angels who run around in maid costumes and call him master – and all of this without going through the hassle of finding a cosplay-friendly prostitute in Vienna.

He honestly rolled his eyes the first time he saw the post about a new maid cafe opening in town. Horangi was the one to show him - the bastard didn’t even live in Austria and yet had followed all the news, maybe to only make fun of his colonel. He knows that the tiger has his dirty secrets too – ido girls, idol boys, some new band every week that he’d spend his paycheck to get all possible merch. Changing his gambling addiction to a k-pop one – all while his glorious commander is going crazy from the new maid hentai he just watched. Honestly embarrassing at his age…but he doesn’t care. He has money for the exclusive translations and elite figures – and he has some time on leave to visit the damn maid cafe. Then König meets you. He died, went to heaven and was greeted with an angel…no, a goddess. In a frilly apron, short skirt and adorable, albeit a bit embarrassed smile. You had your persona on – dorky and clumsy, useless little maid that customers liked to scold when you’d almost drop their drinks and then fake cry while apologizing. Some sadistic bastards like to play pretend by calling your manager while you’d beg for them not to. Some perverts with a hero complex would play into your pleads. König stares in awe as you drop the menu accidentally, not forgetting to show off your cleavage as you pick it up. Brushing it off with your finger, looking so tiny and shy…god, he fucking adores you already. — S…so sorry, master. Please, forgive me for dropping the- — It’s okay. Don’t worry, ja? 

He reaches for your hand, but you shoo it away. No touching – the cafe policy, as dumb as it sounds. He knows it’s for your own good, to protect you from perverts and creeps – but you shouldn’t be so scared about touching him. He would have to train you to do this after. nothing that a few touches of a good military discipline wouldn’t fix though – and he is very good at breaking down dumb recruits and annoyingly stubborn people. Oh. Right. He still kinda has to order. His gaze immediately flicks to the most expensive thing on the menu – an exclusive dessert, probably too sweet for his tastes. He will have to make do though – there isn’t much on the menu, certainly is zero alcohol so drunk guests wouldn’t harass the maid girls, and a tiny portion of an omelet with some ketchup hearts squeezed all over it certainly isn’t to his tastes either. No, König had his eyes – covered by glasses, of course, he didn’t want to show off his scars and the expression of a serial killer forced to work in mercenary forces to cute girls in ruffled aprons – on a different prize. You. 

And the exclusive photos and a hug from any waitress of the fine establishment that would come with this overpriced order. 

König has never seen the manager of this cafe, but he is ready to give them all money he has – just for implementing this feature into the menu. Just for selling off their girls to any customer who is willing to pay almost 50 Euros for a piece of a pretty regular cake and some coffee. 

You stare at his order for a few seconds, your mouth going agape. He is not hurt – it was weird, after all, for a guy like him to order something as silly as this. You’re probably weirded out, thinking that he accidentally put his finger on the order – but you know better than to ask again and risk him changing his mind. Your cafe gives off bonuses if guests want to take a picture with you so, naturally, you’re all smiles and nods, tilting your head to the side as you say, ever-so-sweetly, that you’d be back with his order. Now…is König ashamed of liking the pretty little maid so much? Not really, to be completely honest, he kinda adores having you around, and he’d pay even more for the opportunity to touch you. Too bad your cafe isn’t a front for some other body business – he’d be happy to raid it on the part of special forces and then save you from such a gruesome fate by making you his wife. 

König wonders if your cafe has themed days. Maybe catgirls, cosplay, maybe housewives. 

König wonders if he can get your number. Then his gaze falters to the reflection of his face in the screen of his phone – and, no, not going to happen. Not when he is fresh out of deployment, barely showered, and thrown a clean hoodie on which does very little to cover the smell of blood clinging to his body. It’s his cross to bear – his victims scratching at his ankles as the colonel sips on complimentary water from a pink glass and looks at all the other losers who coming to this fine establishment. 

You’re lucky it’s a slow day – if König saw you being so sweet and touchy with some other lousy customer, he might have shot the whole place up. Master does not tolerate his silly servant being so nice to others, after all. 

— Your coffee, master. 

He whips out a stack of bills already, way more than what he was supposed to pay even with the exclusive offer he ordered. Your mouth opens to stop him, to remind him of the actual price of everything – then he breaks whatever good intentions you had when he starts to speak, his voice muffled a bit because of his black surgical mask. 

— Do you have a boyfriend? 

Oh. 

Now, under normal circumstances, you’d yell for the manager to come and pick you up. You’d scream bloody murder and alert other girls and clients that you’re having a bad customer who is going into harassment mode very quickly – asking such personal questions at this place is something that shouldn’t be happening, no sir. Totally not happening. 

But…the work has been a bit slow lately. You didn’t get as many bonuses as you wanted to, and the rent is coming up, and the phone bill is getting more expensive…sometimes you just got unlucky and his a streak of customers not liking your particular archetype – so if this weird dude who is totally killing people in his spare time wants a bit more than usual service and is definitely ready to pay for it. 

You might have had a thing for guys in masks. Big, muscular guys in masks who looks like they can choke you with their thighs and then fucking destroy you. With money who can get you a bit closer to your savings goal. So, you’re not calling your manager, your friends, or the police. So, you play into the fantasy for a little bit, remembering all the acts your supervisors drilled into your head. — Of course I don’t, master. I’m here for you, remember? You smile and nod, hoping it will be enough. Hoping a guy like him could be satisfied with something as silly as this, something as tiny. You touch his hand a bit later, making sure to hold him for a while longer. A simple trick to enhance the amount of tip you can get – even tho you feel like playing with fire when you touch this guy so sweetly. 

And, oh, König is…done for. Smitten. Shot right in the heart through his cock, somehow. This man survived battle after battle, destroyed more small countries than there is letters in his real name, but he was defeated by a pretty girl in a maid outfit in a cafe made for incels and otaku wannabees. If any of his lower officers saw him right now, with ears and cheeks burning angry red, with his heavy breathing and obvious, but concealed by table hard-on, he would be done for. 

But, oh god, aren’t you just beautiful? 

Obviously embarrassed and maybe a bit shy – he thinks it’s probably just your persona, a way to milk tips from the customers who like to play dominant, but König doesn’t even need to play. He knows he’d have to take you by the end of your shift, whatever this time might be. He is not the best person for the romance job, but he’ll be damned if he let a pretty thing like you just run away like a silly girl you are. 

— Can I have your phone number? You want to say no, he can’t have your phone number. The guy smells of gunpowder and blood, looks like he is going to shoot the entire venue down if you disagree with him, and you do not want to die like a hero for a job that pays barely above minimum wage for the amount of public humiliation you have to endure to ensure good tips. The guy smells like danger and a bad time and a long conversation with your manager about the types of guests that they allow into this fine establishment. 

You want to say no and yell but, then again, there are multiple factors that are screaming against such rush decisions. A huge chunk of money he still has in his valet is, embarrassingly enough, one of the biggest decision-making points. — We’re not really allowed to give our phone numbers, master… His hand goes to his pocket. 

You’re not sure if he is touching his cock, his gun, or another stack of bills right now – but all of the options are kinda making you want to die before you can check your answers. It’s going to be bad either way, so you tilt your head to the side, trying to look as innocent as possible. 

— But I can make an exception! 

He actually startles, looking at you like you just agreed to marry him. You probably would, with enough bullet threats – but you still bite your tongue, not wanting to give the crazy guy an idea. You actually don’t know if he is crazy or not – but taking your chances isn’t something you want to do on a nice Monday dead work day. 

You can see relief in his eyes. A little wrinkles of smile, too – his mouth is covered by a mask, but you’re almost sure he is grinning like an idiot under this thing. Oh no…you just insulted a customer in your mind. It’s really bad for business. 

You write your number down and pass it right to his hand without anyone noticing…you hoped so, at least – you don’t want other customers to order the same special treatment and you know that the manager would have your head for overstepping the rules so much. No one would care that you’re saving this fucked up place from a massacre – they would only care about arbitrary rule-breaking. You lick your lips and smile as his hand lingers on you a bit too long. 

His hands are big and warm, too – you’re getting lost in the touch, as he carefully caresses the back of your palm with his thumb. He is…surprisingly tender. As much as a killing machine can be tender, of course – but you do appreciate a softer, milder touch. You do appreciate his hands on your body, caressing it softly and maybe even leaning you for a kiss and a quick…

Oh god, what are you thinking. You need to stop, immediately. 

He pulls from his table suddenly and you almost feel like you fucked up, somehow. Maybe he did wanted something a big more than what you were willing to give, maybe this guy wanted you in a way that was not friendly for the cafe – but he swoops you by your waist before you could say anything before your hands could go upright and smack him – and you stop right before hearing him saying the dreadful words. The words you wished he wouldn’t have enough money to say. 

God, this is hopeless. 

— Can I get my special offer now? 

König makes it sound like the special offer would include you on your knees, choking on his cock. König makes it sound like it would include you on your back, taking pounding from him while he tugs on your dumb apron and tells you to cry for your master. König makes it sound like the short skirt of your outfit was not covering you enough, he makes it sound perverted, horrible, utterly despicable, he makes it sound like…

God, he doesn’t have enough self-control for you. 

You just…look so scared. Nervous. You play with the fabric of your costume in your hands as the other maid – some faceless pretty thing for him, with his eyes glued to your side anyway – was making pictures. Polaroid, is overpriced for a couple of photos he will get…but he doesn’t care if he has to blow off an entire contract bonus if that means getting some bonus from you. 

He gets to hold your waist and it’s so easily to imagine digging his fingers to your sides as he fucks you with as much passion as he could gather. It’s easy to imagine his cock pumping into you, your tummy bulging from the sheer size difference between you and him – poor thing, you’d probably be terrified as he would force himself onto you. Maybe you’d clutch your little apron adorably and beg for him to stop. Maybe you’d ask him to be rougher and more passionate – to make you his in all sorts of ways. He just…he can’t imagine not taking you home after this. 

He hugged you, it’s basically a marriage proposal already. 

You try your best to ignore the way his hand slips down, almost to the point of groping your ass. You ignore it, the girl who is taking the pictures ignores it too. No one wants a scandal, no one wants to point this out – everyone knows how tips are made here, and you sure as hell won’t be putting yourself in danger just because you feel his giant hand fondling you through the fabric of your silly dress. You forgot the protective shorts too - so there is only a matter of underwear and skirt between his hand and your ass. 

Somehow, the sensation isn’t as terrible as you want it to be. Somehow, you feel like tips aren’t the only thing that keeps you from screaming at him. 

König died and went to heaven – this much is obvious. He is taking a picture with a pretty girl, he touches a pretty girl in maid's suit and she doesn’t even say anything to him. He just went out from a successful contract that would keep his pockets full for a few months and went straight for his savings, and he killed more people than the last week – god, life is fucking beautiful. He fondles your ass with his hand, other is awkwardly limp to his side, and he already knows that he will be a regular here. 

He hates getting his pictures taken – it’s normal for people in his line of work, being a mercenary and a socially active person isn’t something wise if you don’t want an enemy finding out where you live, but he doesn’t really care anymore – he will keep the pictures with you, hold it in his wallet and put a spare one in his vest pocket. You can be his little guardian angel, the pretty girl who is waiting for him to return. 

And he does have your number with him. 

— Are you happy with the pictures, master? 

You tilt your head and König forces down the urge to squeeze your cheeks and kiss you. They way you say this, the way you call him master – he simply can’t resist, not when you’re too fucking adorable to miss out on. He knows it’s inappropriate, he knows you’re just working here, but it doesn’t stop him from leaving a hefty tip and making sure you know exactly what made him leave so much. 

God, he can’t wait to make you his. 

König wonders if you’d agree to wear a skimpier outfit once you’re at the safety of his house. 

[briefinquiries]

Luke Alvez x Reader: Promise You'll Call

Prompt: hi first i just want to say i love you writing so much. Do you think you could write something where luke finds out the reader’s significant other is harming them (mentally or physically)? I understand this is a rough topic but i was just going through a hard time with flashbacks. I understand if you can’t, thank you!

Word count: 7k (idk how this got to be so long)

Warnings: DV mention (in detail), blood tw

A/N: ayyyyooo, it's been forever since i've posted, but enjoy! i wanted to post, so i haven't proof read yet, so please excuse any grammatical mistakes, I'll go back and fix tomorrow :)

Luke honestly didn’t mean to eavesdrop. It just so happened that he was still in his truck, finishing up the burnt bagel he’d made in a rush this morning when you pulled into the parking garage. At first, Luke didn’t recognize that it was you in the black BMW that stopped in the middle of the garage, right behind his own truck. But when he peeked through his rearview mirror, he saw you sitting in the passenger seat, tucking a curtain of hair behind your ear. 

Luke’s stomach flipped, the same way it did every time he saw you. 

Except this time, he actually felt guilty for it, because he was pretty sure the guy driving the car was your boyfriend. Luke was new to the team in the last year, and while he’d done a pretty good job getting to know everyone at the BAU, he still hadn’t met partners or family yet. You were one of the few agents who never talked about your personal life at work. 

But even though Luke couldn’t see the man driving the car, as soon as you cracked open the passenger side door, he certainly heard him. 

Was it even considered eavesdropping if the entire parking garage could hear? 

“I’m not done talking!” The man’s voice echoed across the entire garage, causing Luke to straighten in his seat.  

“Will you lower your voice?” You snapped back in a hushed tone, before looking around the space, clearly embarrassed. 

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do!”

“The whole city is going to hear you, Justin, please.”

“I don’t care if they do– get back in the fucking car!”

Something in Luke’s chest began boiling at the sound of his tone. Did he always speak to you that way? He fought back the urge to peel himself out of his truck. You were his coworker– not his girlfriend. It wasn’t his place to knock this guy down a few pegs, no matter how badly he wanted to. 

“I have nothing else to say to you right now–”

“Good, don’t talk. Fucking listen for once in your life!”

“You’re being ridiculous,” you said, voice eerily calm. It was like you were almost used to this kind of fighting– like you knew the exact steps to take to attempt de-escalating him. “I have to get to work. We’ll talk about this later.”

“If you shut that fucking door, you’re walking home. I swear to–” but the man’s voice was abruptly cut off by you shutting the door. 

Luke secretly felt proud as he watched you turn and walk away from the BMW without looking back. 

Suddenly, music blared through the speakers of the car before Luke heard tires squealing while the car drove away. Luke remained in place while he heard your footsteps fade into the distance, not wanting to embarrass you further or let you know he’d been heard the entire conversation that just played out. 

But while he gave you a moment to catch the elevator without him, Luke didn’t like the feeling that settled in his stomach. If your boyfriend acted like that in the middle of the bureaus parking garage, what the hell was he like behind closed doors?

…

You fought back tears for the entire elevator ride. Thank God no one got into the lift with you, so you at least had a moment of peace before having to pull everything together. 

Justin woke up mad– again. That had been a regular occurrence for the last year. And for the last month, he’d been convinced you were cheating on him. With zero evidence aside from a “hunch” he was apparently going on, there was no amount of convincing or location sharing or reminding him that your job came with sporadic hours that would change his mind. And things were getting worse. Each day it felt like he was angrier– more out of control. And each day you told yourself that you could handle it. You were literally trained on how to de-escalate murderers, for God’s sake. But this morning, when you woke up to not one, but four flat tires on the car you parked in the garage, you knew things were escalating again. 

As the elevator climbed, your phone suddenly pinged in your pocket. You pulled it out to read the text back from your mother. You’d reached out to her earlier, letting her know what you’d suspected– that Justin had slashed your tires so that you couldn’t take your own car to work. 

Mom: He wouldn’t do that. I know you are going through a rough patch, but Justin’s a good man. Did you reach out to that couple’s therapist I told you about?

You let out a sigh. 

Typical. 

Justin had worked at the local hospital with your father before he retired. As a world-wide renowned cardiovascular surgeon with a strong handshake and charismatic demeanor, he could do no wrong in your parent’s eyes. 

In the few instances you actually had reached out to them for support in the last year, the burden always fell back on you. What had you done to piss him off? What were you doing to mitigate the situation? You should have learned by now not to reach out to either one of them. You wouldn’t get the response you wanted. 

The elevator slowly climbed and you knew you had to pull it together. Deep breath in, deep breath out. You reached the fifth floor and stepped out of the elevator, trying to forget about everything that had just happened. 

Within an hour, a new case rolled in. You sat around the round table and listened to Emily give the rundown while Garcia clicked through slides of gruesome crime scenes she blatantly refused to even glimpse at . You tried to pay attention– to compartmentalize your home life like you had always been so good at doing. But as soon as you heard that the case was in Idaho– across the country, worry began creeping back inside of you. One of the biggest problems that Justin had was your constant travel for work. Although he was allowed to put in consistent, 16-hour days at the hospital, he got upset every time you told him where your next case was.

Which, honestly, you understood. When you took the job with the BAU, you never expected to have much of a life outside of it. You were gone more than you were home, and you knew that sort of lifestyle wasn’t for everyone. Except when you met him, Justin had known what you did for work. You didn’t lie or keep it a secret. He said he was okay with the traveling and the long hours. Until he wasn’t. 

Suddenly, there was a gentle tap on your shoulder. Every thought racing through your mind blew away and you refocused on the present moment. 

“Everything okay?” It was Luke asking. 

You looked around to realize that everyone else was packing up their belongings to board the jet. Turning to face Luke, you nodded. “Yeah, sorry. Just daydreaming, I guess.”

“Daydreaming with those crime scenes in the background?” he asked, nodding towards the gruesome picture still up on the screen. “You’ll have to teach me how to do that.”

You let out a breath of laughter. Luke hadn’t been on the team for long, but you realized within a few weeks of knowing him that he always knew how to make people laugh– no matter what was going on in the world around you. That was one of the many reasons he fit in so effortlessly with the team. 

“We can do a mindfulness class sometime,” you joked. 

He smiled, dimples popping from his dark, smooth skin. “I’d attend consistently.” 

Something fluttered in your stomach.

You just chalked it up to stress and nerves. 

…

Luke was supposed to be reviewing the case on the flight. Instead, he couldn’t stop watching you. Out of all the open seats, you chose one right across from him. You had the file open on your lap while your eyes scanned the page. Luke could tell you weren’t reading either, though, because the jet had already been airborne for almost half an hour and you hadn’t flipped the page. 

Meanwhile, Reid, who was to Luke’s right, had already read the entire file, front to back, probably three times by now. 

“Can you give me the Sparknotes version?” Luke leaned over and asked him.  

“What’s Sparknotes?” Reid asked, no hint of humor in his voice. 

Luke’s jaw fell open. “Aren’t you supposed to be a genius or something?”

“I don’t really think that intelligence can be measured or quantified in the way humans have tried to in the past. Technically I have an eidetic memory, which allows me to recall information with accurate precision. Meaning I’d actually have to see the information once to be able to recall it. I’ve never seen a Sparknote… or whatever you called it.”

A smirk spread across your lips, your eyes darting up to meet Luke’s. 

Luke shook his head in disbelief, offering you a small smile before turning back to Spencer. He’d been with the team nearly a year now and he still hadn’t gotten used to Reid’s demeanor. He wondered if he ever would. 

“You never had to Google the summary of a book when you were younger?”

Reid gave Luke a perplexed look. “Why would I do that if I have the book in front of me?”

“Because it’s faster.”

“I can read–”

“20 thousand words a minute,” Rossi interrupted as he walked by with an empty cup of coffee. “Yeah, we know, kid.”

He placed a free hand on Luke’s shoulder, patting it gently. “I have no idea what prompted this conversation, but trust me when I say it’s not worth it.”

Luke heard you stifle a laugh as Rossi walked past. 

…

You’d been on edge the entire plane ride. Justin never responded to your message, letting him know you’d be away for at least the next couple of days on a case. Maybe he was in the OR today, or maybe the hospital’s cell service was just spotty. 

Or maybe he really was just that mad at you. 

You knew the way he treated you was wrong. You recognized the red flags that had been staring you right in the face. But slashing your tires? Maybe your mom was right– maybe there was another explanation. Because no matter how much he yelled, or got in your face, or tried to intimidate you, you really didn’t think there was any way he could do that. 

You hated being this distracted while you worked. Emily was having to repeat instructions for you, JJ was throwing you worried glances, Spencer had asked three times now if you were okay… It was like you were the one being profiled in Idaho. 

Of course that wasn’t really the case, though. You were in Sun Valley because of a string of murdered women, each left dumped and discarded in ditches off the parkway. Each with ligature markings around their necks. Each with evidence of sexual assault. And each deserving of your undivided attention. 

You tried your best to give it to them. But in reality, when the case finally wrapped up six days after you’d arrived, you knew that everyone had picked up your slack. 

And while you were grateful to be part of a team that could pick up the slack of others, you hated that you had to utilize it. 

‘Unbelievable.’

That had been the only message you received from Justin the entire week you were away. You sent a practical novel back– trying to apologize and explain your side. Then you tried calling at least twice a day. But each time you went straight to his voicemail. Normally, space wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Except the jet was about to land back at Quantico, and you were terrified of what was next. 

Not to mention you had no ride home. 

“Hey,” a soothing voice suddenly said, stirring you from your thoughts. 

When you glanced up, you saw Luke gesturing towards the open seat across from you. 

“You mind? Everyone else is asleep.”

For a moment, you looked around the jet and noticed that Luke was right. Practically everyone was sprawled out or curled up against a window, passed out. You couldn’t blame them. It had been a rough case. If circumstances were different and you weren’t currently overthinking everything in your life, you’d probably be passed out too. 

Eventually you turned back to Luke and nodded. “You couldn't sleep?” You asked him. 

He shook his head. “Nah. I never sleep on planes. I think it’s a control-thing. I can never calm myself down enough to actually sleep.”

You frowned. “Now that you say that, I’ve never actually seen you sleep on the jet.”

“And you probably never will.” 

You grinned back. “Does that mean I’ll never get to know if Luke Alvez snores?”

“I’m afraid that information is classified,” he smirked. 

“Such a tease.”

Luke let out a low chuckle before casually leaning forward in his seat. “I did want to see if everything was okay, though.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, probably sounding too defensive. 

He shrugged. “I mean you just didn’t seem yourself this week. Not in a bad way or anything– just off.”

Shit. You knew it had been noticeable. But even still, the small part of you that was hoping it wasn’t deflated at Luke’s words. You actually debated telling him everything, which was so out of the norm for you lately. Ever since you and Justin had been having problems, you’d turned into a shell of who you used to be– you never hung out with Penn, Emily, or JJ anymore. You never had time for getting your ass kicked at chess on the jet with Reid, because you were too busy worrying if Justin was mad at you for leaving. You never joined everyone at Rossi’s evening dinners because you felt guilty for spending nights that you were home away from the house and Justin would never go with you. 

Suddenly, the harsh reality slapped you right in the face: You didn’t like who you were becoming. You didn’t like who you were when you were with Justin. The thought made you want to curl up and hide from the world– from Luke. But there was something about the way he looked at you– so earnest and intentional, like he was hanging onto every word, like he actually wanted to be someone you could trust, that felt prevented you from doing so. 

“You’re chewing on your lip,” Luke pointed out. “That’s how I always know when you’re overthinking.”

You relaxed your jaw instantly. That’s how he always knew? How often was Luke paying attention to your moods and mannerisms? The thought made something flutter in your stomach, but not in the anxious way it had been fluttering recently. This was softer– less scary. 

“Stupid profilers,” you muttered under your breath, desperate to break through whatever tension was boiling between the two of you. 

It was enough to earn a chuckle from Luke. “We are pretty annoying, aren’t we?” He sat back in his chair, cracking his knuckles casually. “You know, my last two girlfriends have broken up with me because of this job. One was serious– the last one, not so much. But still. They said it was too demanding– that I couldn’t make them a priority. I don’t know if you remember the Orlando case last fall. The one with–”

“The fourteen year old boy. We were too late to save him, but we got his sister,” you finished for him. “I remember.” Not only did you remember, but that very same case had been burned into your brain for months. 

Luke nodded. “Yeah. Well, when we got back from that case, that’s when she broke up with me. She said she was trying to deal with me being gone all the time. But if I couldn’t even be present when I was home, she was done. God, I had nightmares about that case for weeks– still do sometimes.” 

You gazed at him sympathetically. Unfortunately, his story wasn’t that out of the norm. Aside from you, everyone on the team in a relationship was already married. Once you had a solid, established relationship, most times it was doable. But the reality was, it was hard to date someone and be part of the BAU. 

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. 

“Don’t be,” he waved you off. “They were right. I put my job first. And I’d like to think that the person I’m supposed to be with would understand how important this work is to me, even if each case takes a little piece from me.”

You thought about Justin– always criticizing, always making comments and remarks about how much you worked. You thought about the last few weeks and all the late nights you’d sat and done unnecessary paper at your desk just to avoid going home to him. 

“Or maybe you’d actually want to make the person you’re supposed to be with the priority,” you suggested softly without meeting Luke’s gaze.   

Luke had just been so vulnerable with you– telling you about his relationship problems like you were someone he could confide in. And the scary part was, you liked it. You liked being someone he came to with these types of things. You wished he’d do it more. 

Justin never confided in you– never let you confide in him, either. You stared intently down at your lap and wondered what it would feel like to have someone who would. 

“Justin and I– we’re having some issues.”

Finally, you dared to look up at Luke. His brown eyes looked black in the dimly lit jet, but they still glistened as he listened. “He’s just so mad at me,” you whispered, voice faltering. You’d barely said anything, but you could already feel all of the emotions you’d been masking and forcing down start to bubble towards the surface. “All the time. And I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know if I want to do anything about it.”

Luke leaned forward again, his elbows resting on his knees while he wound his fingers together. “I heard him when he dropped you off in the garage the other day,” Luke said honestly. Instantly, you felt heat rise to your cheeks. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, I swear, I was just waiting in my car because I was early and well–”

You took a shaky breath, embarrassed beyond belief. “Anyone in the vicinity would have heard him that day.”

Luke’s voice lowered. “Does he always talk to you like that?” 

Yes, you thought. 

“No. That was just a bad morning.”

Luke nodded, but pursed his lips like he didn’t quite believe you. “I know it isn’t my place, but you don’t deserve that. I mean, fuck, no one does. But especially you.”

You smiled softly, trying to believe that he was right– that you didn’t deserve Justin’s harsh comments or anger. And on some level, you knew you didn’t. But another part of you always wondered why you didn’t try harder– why you didn’t care if he ended things or not. 

“Thanks Luke.” 

He nodded, leaning back once again. You gazed out the jet window, seeing familiar city lights in the distance. You’d be landing soon. And then it was back to whatever grim reality faced you at home.   

 “You don’t have your car today, do you?” Luke asked suddenly, stirring you from your thoughts. 

You shook your head. “Uh no. When I went to leave for work, my tires were flat.”

“All of them?” he asked, sounding shocked. 

“All of them.” 

“What’d you do, park in a pile of glass?”

“No, I think they were slashed.”

Luke’s eyes widened, a wave of concern washing over his face. “You don’t think–”

“I have no proof,” you said, knowing instantly what Luke was implying before he even said it. “But yes.”

“Jesus–”

You took a slow, steadying breath, doing your best not to fall apart in front of Luke. 

“I think your place is on my way home,” Luke said after a moment. “I can give you a ride.”

You looked up, instantly ready to decline the generous offer. Luke was good– too good. And you didn’t want to ruin whatever type of friendship was blossoming between you by being too needy right from the start. 

“Don’t even try to say no,” he spoke first. “Please let me give you a ride.”

By habit, you chewed on your lower lip. 

“Don’t overthink it,” he said quietly. “I wouldn’t have offered if it was going to be an inconvenience.”

You felt guilty– you really couldn’t help it, and you weren’t used to accepting help from others. But something about Luke’s tone was so earnest, you believed him. He wouldn’t have offered if he didn’t expect you to say yes. After a moment, you nodded slowly. “Okay,” your head hung, gaze falling to your lap. “Thank you.”

The two of you spent the final minutes of the jet ride sitting quietly, gazes fixated out the window as the pilot landed you safely back in Quantico. When the lights flickered on, your other team members stirred in their seats with exhausted sighs and groans. You grabbed your go bag and followed closely behind Luke as he stepped off the plane. 

“Need anything inside?” he asked. 

You shook your head. “No, I’m good.”

With that, he adjusted the bag on his shoulder and veered towards the parking garage with you just strides behind him. 

Luke made small talk on the ride home. It was like he knew how nervous you were to see Justin and was trying to lighten the mood. You mostly just smiled and nodded in response, and felt grateful when Luke didn’t pressure you or point this out. Only when you got close enough to offer him instructions to your house did you actually utter any words. 

Then, before you knew it, Luke was putting his truck in park on the street near your house. You swallowed thickly as soon as you saw Justin’s car in the driveway and a single light still on in the house. 

The harsh reality was that you had no idea what to expect when you walked through those doors. But here… now… sitting in this truck with Luke, you felt safe. It was hard to leave that. 

But of course you had to. Luke couldn’t wait here all night. 

“Thanks for the ride,” you said softly, trying to conceal how shaky your voice sounded. 

“I don’t mean to overstep,” he said quickly. “But… I just– I mean, I don’t feel good about leaving you here.”

You shook your head quickly. Again, not wanting to feel like a burden. “I’m fine. It’ll be fine. He can be controlling and he gets angry– but he’d never hurt me or anything.”

Luke nodded, although the furrow in his brow told you he didn’t quite believe you. 

“You have my number. Promise me you’ll call if you need anything.”

You weren’t used to this kind of generosity. But before you could overthink things, you nodded earnestly, believing that you would actually call him if it came to that. If nothing else, Luke had proven how trustworthy he was in the last few hours alone. 

“Alright,” he nodded carefully as you slid out of the front seat of his truck, feet colliding with the pavement. 

“Thanks again,” you did your best to muster up a genuine smile. 

The corner of his lip tugged up slightly, but concern was still plastered over his face. “See you on Monday then.”

“Monday,” you agreed. 

With that, you closed the door– putting a literal wall between you and the only person who had made you feel safe in the last week. 

You turned towards your house, the knots in your stomach tightening with each passing moment. When you reached the front door, you turned one last time to see Luke leaned forward, eyes trained on you. Your chest softened when you realized he was waiting for you to get inside safely before driving off. Offering him one, final wave, you turned to unlock the front door. 

When you first stepped inside your house– everything looked normal. The light above the stove was on and the fridge hummed softly. You placed your duffel bag on the floor and stepped into the kitchen for some water. As you filled up a glass, you began to wonder if maybe you’d overreacted. Maybe Justin had been busy with work this week– just like you’d been. 

But your wishful thinking was short lived. 

Because the second you turned away from the faucet, you nearly jumped out of your skin at the sight of Justin– standing on the other side of the island counter. You hadn’t even heard him approach you. 

“Jesus, Justin–” you gasped, setting your glass of water down on the counter. “You scared me.”

Instead of replying, his eyes just narrowed. He looked angry– angrier than you’d ever seen him. An eerie chill crept down your spine, sending an eruption of goosebumps across your skin. 

“Where were you?” he asked, voice menacing and icy. 

“I told you– there was a case–”

His hands slammed down on the counter, causing you to take a step back as you jumped. 

“Don’t lie to me!” 

“I’m not lying–” you said quickly, trying to keep your own voice even. You knew how important it would be to remain calm. 

But despite your efforts, Justin swiped his hand across the counter, sending your cup of water colliding into the wall, where it shattered. 

You winced, unable to completely contain your shock. Because despite the yelling and the screaming, Justin had never done that before. Something inside of you told you that you had to leave… now– but you couldn’t react in time. Because before you could even turn your body to head towards the door, he was already turning the corner around the island, eliminating the only barrier between you and his violent outburst. 

“Where are you going, huh?” he challenged. “Gonna take off again?”

“I was at work, Justin– I told you that.”

He took another step closer to you, sending you a step backwards. Like a choreographed dance, you alternated steps until you heard the crunch of glass beneath your shoes. You’d reached the wall. You were cornered. 

Panic flooded through you. And suddenly, logic went out the window. You couldn’t think rationally– you couldn’t problem solve. Everything just went blank. 

“Who brought you home tonight, hm?” 

He was close enough that you could smell the alcohol melting off his breath. You lowered your head, trying to appear as submissive as you could– because what the hell else were you supposed to do?

“I saw the truck– the white one? Who the fuck was that?”

“Just someone from work,” you answered quickly. 

“Just someone from work, huh?” He took another step forward. There was practically no space between the two of you now. “Look at me when you talk.” 

You were trembling so hard, you couldn’t follow his commands as fast as he wanted. 

“I said–” he snapped harshly. Instantly, you felt fingers wrapping around your throat, forcing your head up. Justin’s hand squeezed, cutting air off. “Look at me when you talk.” 

His grip tightened. “Go ahead– say it. Tell me where you were.”

You opened your mouth, but you couldn’t even get air in your lungs, let alone formulate words. 

Justin’s eyebrow raised. For a moment, he actually looked like he was enjoying this. 

“No?” he asked. “Nothing? Are you finally done lying to me?”

You tried to inhale– but when nothing came, more panic settled in your stomach. You squirmed, needing air fast. Your hands raised to grab his forearm, desperate for him to let go. You tried to breathe again– but when air still didn’t come, you dug your nails into his skin without thinking– scratching him, hoping that would help. Except, you were so panicked, you had no concept of how hard you actually scratched him. Your nails broke through the skin– causing him to release your throat.  

“You bitch,” he hissed. Before you could even take a breath, you felt something collide with the side of your face, sending your head whipping to the side. 

Your head hung for a moment while your brain tried to comprehend what was happening. 

Justin had hit you– and there was currently something warm dripping down the side of your head. As you were hunched over, you felt something then collide with your stomach– hard. His knee maybe? You couldn’t tell–

“You let some man drive you home to my house!” he yelled, hand closing around your throat again. This time, he launched you backwards, whipping your head into the wall forcefully. “And then you come in and you fucking lie about it?” 

You grasped at his wrist– not scratching, but trying to get him to loosen his grip. You couldn’t breathe– no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t breathe. 

“Please,” you tried to say, but all that came out was a gasp. 

You attempted to look at him– hoping he could see how sincere you were being. But when you gazed up, your stomach just dropped. His eyes were menacing– black, empty. He looked like he could kill you right here and now and not care in the slightest. 

Justin’s grip tightened, you could feel each individual finger as it dug deeper into your skin, cutting off your airway– crushing your windpipe. 

You were going to die– You were going to die and there was nothing you could do to stop it. 

You dug your nails into his skin again, you flailed– you slapped with what energy you had left. But nothing was working. Your vision was blurring– dark edges starting to create a tunnel around the world. He was too strong– and you were going to die. 

Until suddenly, with no warning, Justin’s grip loosened. 

Instantly, you slid to the floor– coughing and choking as you gasped for air. 

You waited for whatever would come next– a kick to the ribs, something clattering over your head. But instead, you heard his footsteps retreating. 

You willed yourself to look up– through foggy vision clouded by tears, you saw Justin backing out of the kitchen, his eyes wide. 

“I-I–” he stammered. “I didn’t–” For a moment he paused, like he was frozen in place, before shaking his head. 

You were too focused on trying to breathe regularly again to make sense of the look of remorse seemingly on his face before he darted out of the room. 

Although he was out of your sight, you knew Justin couldn’t be far. And you knew that, despite the fact that you were sputtering and could barely breathe, you had to get out of that house. With what little strength you had left, you pushed yourself off the floor. Your back throbbed from being thrown against the wall, while a wave of dizziness overcame you. You all but staggered to where you’d dropped your bag earlier, doing a quick scan of the room before grabbing the strap and hauling it over your shoulder. 

You hurried to the front door, hand on the knob, when you paused. 

Where the hell were you supposed to go?

And then Luke’s words from earlier flashed through your mind. 

Promise me you’ll call if you need anything. 

You couldn’t– you thought. You’d already asked him for so much. But he did make you promise. And honestly, you couldn’t think of anyone in the world aside from him that you’d talk to about what had just happened. 

Suddenly, you heard movement from upstairs. 

You didn’t have time to toggle back and forth. You had to make a decision. 

Before you could second guess anything, you grabbed your phone from your pocket, pulled up Luke’s contact info, and hurried out the door. 

…

The second your name flashed across his screen, Luke knew he shouldn’t have left. Granted, he was only four minutes down the road– but he wished he had listened to his gut and just stayed. 

He slid his thumb across the screen. “Hello?”

He was met by an eerie silence.

“Hello?” he repeated. 

“Luke–” Your voice sounds so small– so choked up. “I’m sorry– I–” 

He waited a moment, hanging on to each word you spoke like it was a prayer. 

“Could you– maybe… could you come back? I’m so sorry– I–”

Luke was already turning his truck around before you could finish your choppy sentence. 

“I’m on my way,” he assured you. “Stay right there, okay?”

He was pretty sure he heard you agree before the line went dead. But regardless, Luke was back at your house in an instant. The second he put his truck in park, he was already undoing his seatbelt and launching himself out of the car. 

He had no idea what he was walking into– all he knew was that he had to get you out of there. What the hell could this asshole have said to you to have you so shaken up over the phone? 

He imagined knocking on the door– finding you tear streaked and trembling. It made his insides roar with anger before even seeing you. 

Except, when Luke turned the corner of his truck. He didn’t have to reach the front door to see you. He didn’t even have to walk across your lawn. Instead, you were hunched over on the curb, face buried in your hands while your whole body shook. 

Luke’s shoulders fell– your name tumbling from his lips as he approached you.

He had prepared for trembling– he had prepared for crying. But what he wasn’t prepared for, was seeing your face, bloodied and bruised when you looked up at him. 

He stopped dead in his tracks, everything inside of him turning to ice at the sight. 

“Where is he?” Luke managed to choke out. His voice sounded muffled and distant in his own ears. 

You let out a shaky breath before attempting to smile– like you were trying to somehow convince him that you were okay. The cut on your lip stretched as you did, making you wince. “Inside,” you whispered. 

He nodded once. As much as he didn’t want to leave you out here alone, Luke couldn’t help himself. 

“I’ll kill him,” he said through gritted teeth. And just like that, he was off– taking long strides towards the front door. He had no idea what your house looked like– no idea where he’d find that asshole lurking. All Luke knew was that he was going to pay for what he did to you. 

He had tunnel vision– the only thing in front of him was a blind, rageful desire to hurt that piece of shit as much as he had hurt you. He was narrowing in on the front door– just a few steps away… until he heard something break through the fog. 

It was you– your voice so soft and broken, calling out to him desperately. He turned around, blinders widening to see you standing on the lawn, chest heaving and tears falling down your cheeks quickly. 

“Please Luke–” you begged. “Please don’t. I want to leave. Please, can we leave?”

He paused, but only for a second before all of his anger melted away in an instant.  

He nodded, knowing right there– in that moment, that he would do absolutely anything for you at the drop of a hat. In a few quick steps, he was back at your side, hand hovering near your lower back just in case you needed extra support. 

“We can go,” he said gently, purposely keeping his voice as calm as he could. “Let’s get you in the truck.” 

After only a couple of steps, Luke noticed that you were limping. He felt a wave of tears burning behind his eyes. He was frustrated– angry. With your boyfriend, but mostly with himself. He knew he shouldn’t have left. He knew it in his gut. He should have been there– maybe if he’d stayed, he would’ve heard the yelling– he could’ve stepped in before things got this bad. 

“Can you get up, okay?” he asked as he opened the passenger door for you.

You nodded, reaching up for the handle bar. He watched as you winced– just the extension of your torso causing your breathing to increase. 

“You’re alright,” he said. “Let me help.” 

He made sure to wait for you to nod before he placed his hand against your lower back. Ever so gently, he supported your weight so that you could hoist yourself up into the front seat. 

“There you go,” he said, once you were safely tucked inside. He closed the door and turned to head to the driver’s side. Just as he did, he caught a flash of movement from the direction of your house. When he looked, he saw Justin standing on the front porch. Even from the road, Luke could see the tears glistening in his eyes. 

He felt the familiar anger from earlier resurfacing inside of him. It tightened in his chest– burned in his stomach. He envisioned himself crossing the lawn– grabbing Justin by the shirt collar– launching his fist right into his jaw. 

Luke inhaled deeply before looking back towards you. You were staring at him, crying again, your face riddled with fear. Because you knew exactly what he was imagining, and it made you afraid. 

Luke’s insides softened. 

No. 

He would not just be another man who scared you tonight. Luke wanted to be someone you felt safe with. 

Without looking back, he hurried along the front of his hood and climbed into his side of the truck. He put the truck in drive and calmly accelerated down the road– away from everything that had ever hurt you. 

…

It was only when you were in the safe confinement of Luke’s truck that you realized how bad you were shaking.  

The further you got from the house, the more the events from that evening sank into your brain. You’d seen this before with victims– once their adrenaline calmed down and they actually realized they were safe, fight or flight wasn’t protecting them anymore.

There was so much you wanted to say to Luke. But you could barely muster up the strength to breathe, let alone explain yourself. 

But you knew that you had to say something. You inhaled shakily and picked at the loose hangnail on your thumb. “Luke, I’m so sorry,” you said, breaking through the thick silence. 

He adjusted his grip on the steering wheel, knuckles turning white from how hard he was holding on. He hadn’t said a word since you’d been on the road and you found yourself wondering what was going through his mind. Was he angry? Annoyed? Frustrated?   

Luke grimaced. “Please don’t apologize,” he said softly. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

You bit your lip to keep any tears from spilling out– you’d cried enough in front of Luke for one day. “I just meant that I’m sorry I dragged you into this.”

“You didn’t drag me into anything.”

Something in his tone just seemed so off– so curt. You desperately needed to make this right. 

“Is there a hotel or something on the way to your place? You don’t have to go out of your way– you can just drop me off, I don’t want to inconvenience you–”

Luke hit the breaks, his truck coming to a stop as he pulled over on the side of the road. After shifting the gear, he turned in his seat to look at you. 

“I’m not inconvenienced by you. And I’m not dropping you off at a hotel. You’re coming to my place, and I’m going to clean up your cuts, and then I’m going to make you dinner.”

“Luke–” you started to protest but he shook his head. 

“Please,” he said, voice cracking. “Please, let me do this– Otherwise… otherwise I won’t be able to forgive myself.”

Your brows furrowed. “Forgive yourself? What are you talking about?”

Luke shook his head, his dark mop of curls unruly after the long day. Slowly, he lifted his head and gazed out of the windshield, like he was deep in thought. 

“I knew something was wrong– I mean, I heard the way he spoke to you in the garage. After you told me he slashed your tires… I just knew. I knew something bad would happen when I dropped you off, but I tried to convince myself I was just being dramatic– or paranoid. But I knew– and I didn’t listen. I left you, and you got hurt. So please, let me make you dinner and give you a safe place to be tonight. It’s the least I can do.”

Your mouth hung open– whatever you thought was going on in Luke’s mind, it wasn’t that. Before you could think twice, you leaned forward in your seat and gathered his hand in yours. His warm skin touched yours– sending shockwaves through your entire body. 

“None of this was your fault,” you assured him. “In fact, you've shown me more kindness in the last few hours than I think Justin has shown me in the last year. I’m so grateful it was you who came and got me tonight, Luke.”

The words came out so easily– probably because of how true they were. 

His gaze flickered towards yours– eyes glistening with unshed tears. He spun his hand, so that your palms pressed against each other, before lacing your fingers together and squeezing gently. 

“You know I’ll never let him hurt you again, right?” he asked. 

His words sent chills down your spine. You did know, but you weren't sure if you were ready to admit that or not. So instead, you changed the subject.

"Are we almost to your house?"

Luke shrugged. "Not really- I'm closer to Stafford, probably thirty five minutes."

You frowned. "Stafford? That's the opposite direction. I thought you said my place was on your way home."

A smirk crept across Luke's face. "That might've been a tiny lie."

"Luke!" you exclaimed.

He let out a laugh. "What? I knew you wouldn't have gotten in the car otherwise. Am I wrong?"

You let out a huff of air, hating the fact that he was right.

As he put the truck in drive and continued down the road, you squeezed his hand back.

[hungharrington]

i would uh.. like to put my own little menace!steve in bed thoughts out here.. they will make ZERO sense and will be all jumbly n gross but it’s like midnight n i have to be up at 6am so BE KIND <3

as someone who is 100% very shy/extra nervous at first, no noise, trying to mask facial expressions and hide parts of my body. this type of reader especially?? oh ho ho

menace!steve doubles as sorta loving!perv!steve. he can and will fantasise abt cumming on ur tummy and move his way up the best he can - still cumming - until he shoots some onto ur boobs as well. on his come down, all out of breath and smiling with his eyes closed, he can’t wait to open em and see ur blushy, shocked little face, and ropes across ur chest, across ur tummy, maybe he even dribbled some across ur pussy cus he didn’t time it right and shot a bit early (no complaints)

menace!steve who is all slow thrusting with his entire body, borderline begging u to take the big shirt off, he wants to see you all bare so bad.. he’s naked and skin on skin would feel so much better for u baby! steve who, when little noises do embarrassingly slip out, he lights up, copies em; he’ll nudge ur nose with his as ur eyes try and screw shut from embarrassment, his own eyebrows knit up in mocking and his pout mirroring the one he saw, all oh did that feel good sweetheart? oh, it felt so good right there, huh? look at me, look at me.. look at me, or im gonna make u cum.. right now.. so close to me, make u cum with my face so close to urs huh? with his hand trailing down towards ur clit threateningly (because the only thing more embarrassing than making noises like what u just made, would be cumming so quick and hard and probably very noticeably lmaoo)

menace!steve who notices that u like him beefy and hairy. imagine him laying in bed while ur getting ready, and he’s shirtless???? with the covers bunched over his hips, n he just busts out some little quip about how he’s been dreaming about u cumming on his chest so bad. wants to make u ride it, but he doesn’t think he’d be able to have ur pussy that close to his mouth without tugging u up onto his tongue. ur stood there with ur hair tie half done, frozen, bc he looks so nonchalant saying that with his huge biceps crossed over his chest.

menace Steve who wants to simultaneously cum inside u, suck it out, sloppily spit it down ur tits and into ur mouth and makeout, JUST AS MUCH as he’d want to cum inside and then not move. breeding kink menace Steve’s brain goes wee-woo-wee-woo empty when he sees u eyeing his cock when it leaks pre-cum. the man just cannot have his dick in ur mouth, he’s so serious he wants to make every drop count, but he also makes u want it so bad that whenever he gets the vibe that u just need it/need him, u come back into whatever room ur in to see him stripping. he’s so fucking coy abt it too, just shrugs and waves his hands for a second like duhh?? get with the program..

LMAOOO out of left field, but menace!steve who maybe does smthn mundane, like ur pipe breaks (i am NOT a plumber I don’t know what im talking abt), but while he’s down there, laid with his head in the cabinet tinkering around, he tries to role play a ‘oh no my pipes burst and oh? hunky plumber man came to fix it!’ porno scenario. but he doesn’t tell u. just works himself up and lets himself get so noticeably hard that ur like.. are u alright stevie?? n he just has to tell u to pls for the love of god ride him like he’s just some maintenance guy n ur just a hot babe who needs some good dick. take it from him - he’ll keep working (n if it’s a reader who like previously mentioned, isn’t at that point yet.. yea icl I’d do it. don’t judge me but if he’s all sighing and giving up like honey PLEASE take my dick out.. yeah 🫶)

menace!stevie who at every inconvenience, when his little princess is huffing and puffing abt something, rolls his eyes, tugs her under him like god okay babe, i hear you, u need eating out okayy i get it, need to let me kiss u down there for a bit as if he wasn’t the only one out of the two of u thinking that, but boy menace!steve?? can make an excuse out of ANYTHING. oh they gave u crinkle cut fries instead of french? his eyebrows raise as he sighs all dramatic, fully prepared to try n finger u in the diner booth. the dress ur trying on in the changing room doesn’t fit like u wish it would? he’s clicking his tongue, caressing ur hair back just to bend u over infront of the mirror, raring to go and dry hump. the reason??? he’s is. a menace. and kinda bitchy. but it fits.

(also, when ur making out and straddling him, he’d definitely break away, massive grin, just to tease u abt how he can feel that, yknow?? FEEL WHAT??? yknow.. ur heartbeat, baby? the grin is still there, head tilted down to look at u through his lashes. manhandles ur hips harder into his lap and u finally get what he means)

I WAS ALREADY SAVIN UR OTHER ASK TO COME BACK TO BUT HOLY FUCK I CANT ADD ANYTHING TO TOP ANY OF THIS

i’m also a no noise & quiet, ‘can i keep my shirt’ on babe and this felt like a direct ATTACK. steve trying to make his plumber porn fantasy to come true is peak steve 😭 and i would fucking indeed. get his dick out and ride it while he fixed my pipes :)

[rosencrantzsguildenstern]

Character: Kujo Takamasa

First impression

since i first saw him in rikus fucking. 1st beat flashback. i knew that man was sus as hell amen! i was super curious since we got that bit of knowledge that tenn left with a random guy and basically had this prediction that he was AWFUL and the cause of all of tenns problems. in the first actual scene with him i was mostly like 'what a cool scene!' but as soon as we learn he's tenn AND AYA'S dad i was like. oh i bet he's why tenn works himself into the ground and has all these weird complexes and won't talk to riku i bet kujo’s this horrible abusive guy. i even wrote this little tenn&aya angst fic back in october when i was watching 2nd beat that holds up decently well (it was basically a sickfic where tenn was like ik im sick but I Have To Go To Work bc otherwise kujo’ll be pissed and aya was like My Mom Died Of Illness) but definitely has some inaccuracies and missed how interesting tenn and aya's characters and complexes are. anyway i hated that man!

Impression now

I LOVE THIS MAN!! he has every disease <3 <3 <3 i love his hair. i love his vibes. i love when he fails at life. he's still an awful parent who did/does definitely traumatize tenn but it's in a fun funky way. i love a man who goes insane with longing. i also just really like the little snippets we get of him existing. being himself. his personality entertains me. i like his dramatic monologues and i like that he’s goth

Favorite moment

oh my god. when the high school trio corner him in a hallway and he’s like “when did i start running a children’s counseling hotline” my friend. perhaps when you started using them as raw material for idols??? its so funny hes like. whats up with these kids ❓

Idea for a story

THIS IS SURPRISINGLY HARD bc i give him a lot of screentime in my stuff that ISNT centered around him but then with just him all im thinking of is easy little character studies where i wax poetic about zero. OH!! actually i’m always dreaming up dumb kujo family crackfic. they go to the grocery store. (i actually have snippets of this one thought up.) they go to a diner. they go on an overly long drive and hate it. haruka is always there causing drama. its a beautiful world

Unpopular opinion

ONE TIME I SAW A FIC MAKING HIM HOMOPHOBIC nah. hes gay. hes homophobic against haruki specifically. but in general taking an antagonist and making them do allllll the bad stuff is never my jam. also w that the idea/theory that he fucked over zero, like pressured him too much as a producer? i could see him being the reason zero disappeared, but i don’t think he could or did Manage zero— if he overwhelmed zero, it was probably with excessive love and devotion— like i bring up in the favorite relationship section he’s the guy who says “this song is the most amazing thing in the world” and gets so excited about it he breaks your stuff!

Favorite relationship

i thought about this for a little but i think i gotta say him and haruki! apart from them being the choice with the most history, their dynamic is just fun— harukis a jokester. a free spirit. a silly guy if you will. and generally laid-back/unattached- while kujous very serious and singleminded. add in Beef and that they used to be really close and it’s so fun; i also think a lot about the flashback scene where haruki’s having kujo listen to his new song and kujo’s like THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER MADE!!!!!! what a hypeman :> and harukis like don’t break More of my glasses so that’s another fun touch of contrast in their dynamic

(and god. i’ll make this last forever kujou vs here for a good time not a long time haruki. what a pair to trap in endless grief)

i also actually really like his and gaku’s dynamic? all their scenes together are really strong, it’s really satisfying seeing gaku tell it like it is— with all this care for tenn and knowledge of tenn’s issues embedded— and having gaku play kujo in the zero musical also brings out ALLLL the similarities in the two characters (that are really quite different) and makes every kujo-gaku scene during that period extremely fun bc gakus doing CHARACTER ANALYSIS

Favorite headcanon

ough… ive talked about this before but i think aya buys him best dad merch, haruka buys him stuff that says “worst dad” and he ignores what all of it says and just like. wears/uses it.

also i like the idea of him being consciously goth/alt but in different styles since before zero disappeared

[someoneintheshadow456]

I never intended to make a VC4 log. I never intended to start playing VC4 until I finished VC2. I wanted to just get through it to see how it was because you apparently didn't need to play VC2-3 to play this one.

But dear GOD.

The gameplay is much more challenging, and there's WAY more things to do here. I've had to look at guides for most of the levels, just like VC1 except I wasn't running around screaming. Siegval Line is the only level where I got a B... God that chapter was an absolute nightmare.

But the story and characters are much MUCH WORSE, and I thought VC2 was bad. VC1's mains were mostly pleasant but boring, and the most annoying ones - Largo and Rosie, wise up at the end (plus Rosie's anime incarnation is MUCH better than her game counterpart). VC2 took place in cadet school, so you knew with those mains not to expect too much.

VC4's mains however, with the exception of Leela, range from mildly annoying to straight up making me want to throw my joycons across the room.

Riley blames Claude for running away from the fire that killed her family... when they were literally both TWELVE. TF was Claude supposed to do?! Apparently he's a coward for... *checks notes* behaving like how any 12 year old would in a deadly situation.

Raz should have gotten court marshaled a LONG time ago but he's able to get away with all this shit because he's besties with the commander. But apparently shit like this actually happens in the real military, so... points for accuracy?

The OG Kai is so obviously working with the Imps they may as well have hung a signboard over his head saying "I'M EVIL." I'm shocked that the writing team thought that they could fool us about why he deserted when even a five year old can figure out why.

Claude gets blamed for literally every fucking thing but you can't even feel too bad for him because of how much of a Gary Stu he is. Characters can be shit talking him to his face and our uwu golden boi just takes it in stride and gets promoted just for breathing. Even Welkin had moments where his emotions got the best of him and had to LEARN shit throughout the story. Claude gets NONE of that.

Even the VILLAINS are less interesting this time around. The only one we have seen so far is a cheap copy of General Jaeger. In VC1 by this time, we already saw the main villains, but it's Chapter 7 and they still haven't shown up.

But the worst character of all, and the one who prompted me to make this post, is Minerva. At first, she just hated Claude for petty middle school BS reasons, and I hoped to GOD she would get some character development.

But the moment she blamed Claude for her girlfriend's death was the point when she crossed over from "annoying bitch" territory to "joycons flying across the room" territory.

My dude, my guy, YOU sent him on that mission. YOU gave the go-ahead for him to ambush a supply base. And you fault him for not being at his post when your squad got decimated... when you TOLD him to do so?! And why do I have the feeling that if your pwecious cwystal made it out unscathed, no fucks would be given from you?

Your pretty speech about how you want to set aside your pride and fight with Squad E means JACK SHIT if you continue to blame Claude when he was JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS. As though he wasn't fighting, as though he was just sitting around having tea while tanks were crushing you. I know it's still early in the game, but I have ZERO hopes for you if you continue to be this bad.

Congratulations, Minerva. You just dethroned Maxie for worst character in the VC universe. I hope you're happy.

[maya-matlin]

So I know this is probably dumb, but what about Jenna Middleton/Brooke Davis for that comparing Degrassi characters to people from other shows thing? Jenna's passion for music makes her more like Peyton or Haley, but in personality she really reminds me of Brooke: bubbly, adventurous, loving extroverts who prefer optimism so initially deny a few hard truths, not all that book smart but very intelligent and savvy when it comes to people, they're both spontaneous but also kind of impulsive, and both even announce that they're not letting boys define them anymore :) You could also maybe compare Jimmy to Nathan Scott...? And while I'm obsessively analyzing every character, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the differences between Emma and Clair - they seem very similar to me!

Comparing Jenna to any of those girls seems inaccurate to me, but maybe I'm thinking of early Jenna. I just feel like she was so bubbly and low key phony to begin with. She clearly got a lot of validation from being perceived as more desirable than other girls. So I'm with you. I don't think Haley and Jenna are anything alike beyond their passion for music. Haley was anxious, introverted, responsible and school oriented. That was never Jenna, unless you want to say she was more responsible during seasons 11-14. Out of the three main girls, Brooke is the closest comparison. But I still struggle to see it. I just feel like even before Brooke admits how smart she is, she's much more socially conscious and intelligent than Jenna. But I loved reading everything you had to say. I strongly agree that both Jenna and Brooke eventually come to define their own self worth based on how much they like themselves and personal growth rather than whether or not boys find them attractive. This makes me realize that I spend very little time analyzing Jenna.

As for Jimmy and Nathan, that works! Though, I think Jimmy was always more intelligent than Nathan. Even though both guys always saw playing professional basketball as their futures and even had fathers who pressured them to succeed and keep pushing even to their detriment, it seemed like Jimmy always had more going for him than Nathan. In spite of the tragedy that befell Jimmy, he was always going to be fine. Jimmy had a way of becoming successful at everything he tried, from art to rapping. Apparently, he had plans to become a lawyer. I got the feeling school came fairly easily for Jimmy compared to someone like Nathan, who heavily relied on his talent to get him far in life. Jimmy seemed more comfortable reinventing himself and figuring out an alternate path for his life than Nathan ever did - though it should be acknowledged that Nathan eventually thrived once his health forced him to retire. It's just that he had to put in a lot of effort to succeed.

Clare and Emma. Hmm. Obviously, both played the same role. They are the prominent good girls of their classes. There's a perception that both Emma and Clare never make mistakes (in universe, not in the fandom). Both are drawn to bad boy types from time to time. Neither is afraid to speak up when they feel something unjust is happening. However, Emma navigates social situations far easier than Clare does. From the very beginning of TNG, Emma has zero problem using her voice and making her opinions known. I'm sure this is related to Emma being raised by a single mom and basically being the center of Spike's world. Spike was always a feminist, so you can imagine Emma was brought up to believe women should use their voices and to never make yourself smaller to appease anyone. And Emma never did. Clare had a very different upbringing. She was raised in a conservative, Christian household with God-fearing parents. Unlike Emma, Clare always had an older sibling. It was known to everyone that while Darcy was the pretty, popular, social one, Clare was just the smart one. She was likely overlooked prior to coming to Degrassi and being noticed beyond being Darcy's little sister. Clare needed time to come into her own. Unlike Emma, Clare started as much more of a pushover. But once Clare gained some confidence and learned to use her individual voice without worrying about disturbing the peace, that was that. I don't think being social ever came completely easily to Clare, though. She was very by the books and is often accused of being sanctimonious in later seasons. Their goals were also different. While Emma was mainly focused on the environment and making the world a better place, Clare was more comfortable being a writer. She seemed to oscillate between pursuing creative writing or becoming a journalist before settling on the latter. Clare is nothing if not practical. Emma was more interested in feelings and morals than she was something more concrete. Interestingly, both girls ended up in a similar place with each taking time to figure out their next move with guys they probably shouldn't have settled down with.

[technicolorfamiliar]

Technicolor Familiar Watches Too Many Conrad Veidt Movies Part 4 of ?

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3

The Wandering Jew, 1933 Dir. Maurice Elvey ⭐2.5/5 Watched Nov 30, Youtube Maybe it was my mood, maybe my expectations were too high, maybe it was the poor quality of the version I watched on Youtube, but I kept waiting for this movie to get better. It sort of did, eventually. The whole last act, especially Mathathias' powerful monologue during the courtroom/Inquisition scene, almost made up for the rest. I get what they were going for style-wise, but I think this kind of epic, mythical story could have benefited from some more grounded writing and performances. Either that or it should have gone harder in the other direction to be more impressionistic, more dreamlike. In the end I feel like it didn’t know what kind of movie it wanted to be.

Casablanca, 1942 Dir. Michael Curtiz ⭐4/5 Watched Dec 2, Max The balls they had to make this movie in 1942. I think the first time I saw this a few years ago I must not have been paying very close attention. This time around I definitely appreciated the whole thing a lot more. The cast, the production design, the lighting, the atmosphere are all pitch perfect. Why not 5 stars then? Maybe because I'm greedy and I want more. This is the only film on this list so far that I wouldn't mind being longer. I want to get to know all the supporting and side characters more. It's nice to see Connie with an ensemble of other excellent actors for a change. It really let him off the hook to be purely unlikeable and not have to carry the movie. As Strasser, he's ice cold with only the slightest trace of camp (which was much more pronounced in the previous year's All Through the Night). He played a lot of villains and unfortunately was typecast in these kinds of roles late in his career, but I think he finally got to showcase here his fervent contempt for the Nazis by playing this utterly icky guy with zero redeeming qualities. He understood the assignment.

Whistling in the Dark, 1941 Dir. S. Sylvan Simon ⭐2.75/5 Watched Dec 3, Archive.org This makes All Through the Night look like auteur cinema. But once again Connie sells it by being totally deadpan amongst all the slapstick tomfoolery. Love to see him with a bunch of underlings, especially at the beginning as they hatch their plan. It's clear he's having a lot of fun with his line delivery. Kind of wish there was more cult/con artist stuff for him to do, but the premise is enjoyable in an absurd way. I love the two ladies, Ann Rutherford and Virginia Grey; they sort of make up for how obnoxious Red Skeleton is. Most of the bits go on far too long though. My main take away from this movie is that I'll now be leaving every future interaction saying, "We part in radiant contentment."

Der Gang in die Nacht, 1921 Dir. F. W. Murnau ⭐2.5/5 Watched Dec 10, Archive.org It's been a minute since my last foray into silent Connie, so I wanted to watch Kreuzzug des Weibes which recently surfaced on Youtube only to have since mysteriously disappeared. Figures. So I watched this instead. A lot of these movies, silents and talkies, have rushed and disjointed endings and this is no exception. The restoration of the version on Archive is amazing, the quality is just beautiful. But I had a hard time connecting with this one, and I don't think it has anything to do with the expressionistic performances. I feel like they were maybe trying to say something about science vs art, while also throwing in messages about infidelity, etc. I don't know what I wanted, but this wasn't it. But I can't complain too much, Connie's romantic anguish is a thrill to watch. When he wakes up after recovering from surgery, his intensity is something else. It's crazy how palpable his performances are across so many years.

King of the Damned, 1935 Dir. Walter Forde ⭐3.5/5 Watched Dec 11, Archive.org This is only 3.5 because of the absolutely god awful quality of the version that's on Archive -- it's like someone did 18 shots of jäger, picked up a camcorder and recorded a bootleg of the movie on tv. It made me kind of seasick. Probably the worst copy of any of these movies I've seen so far. And that really sucks because I actually really liked the movie. It's surprisingly progressive in a way I wasn't expecting. The conversation it's trying to start about prison reform is still really relevant. And we get wet, sweaty, grimy shirtless Connie gently caressing other men in the jungle. I wish we had learned his name at the end, once the revolt was successful and the prisoners had control of the island, it would have been really satisfying for him to reclaim his identity again. But I also completely understand that it needed to not be about him, that he was committed to serving and advocating for the collective. Ugh, love it.

[rocksaltandroll]

So, I feel like it’s Unpopular Opinion Time about GO2. I’ve been thinking about it since I watched it and…well…I hate it, lads. I really wanted to love it, but…

Well, here are my Reasons:

I first read Good Omens in probably 2003. It was a friend’s copy and I finished it & immediately went & bought my own. I loved it.

I was so scared to watch it when Good Omens (1) first came out. I thought the casting was all wrong. I was worried they would butcher one of my favourite books of all time.

I was so glad to be wrong. I loved everything about it. The casting was actually perfect, I was okay with the changes, and I absolutely adored that cold open! Hell I even wrote a whole 135k 1941 spy romance fic based on that 5 minute scene in the church!

And then I heard they were making GO2 and I was scared again.

I knew that T&N had batted ideas for a sequel about years ago, but nothing had come to fruition. This time it would all be Gaiman. I’ve never made it through a single Gaiman book but I’ve read most of Pratchett’s. I was worried.

But I watched it. And the more I watched, the more I disliked it and by the end, I honestly hated it.

The first thing: all of the fun & funny, all the favourite lines and things that made you giggle in the OG GO? 90% of those were Pratchettisms. S2 was severely lacking in Pratchettisms.

The second: Plot? What plot?

I mean, if you set aside the mini episodes inside the main episodes (those mini episodes are a whole other problem all by themselves), what exactly have we got?

The Archangels are plotting. Gabriel disagreed with what they were plotting and he’s walked out, memoryless, naked with an empty box & turns up at Aziraphale’s.

A&C aren’t getting on. For some reason. At the end of S1 they were honestly ready to get married & have babies, and now Crowley is living in his car because his flat is apparently Company Property and he’s been evicted. I still don’t understand why they’re not getting on.

So both heaven & hell are looking for Gabe, and A&C are trying to hide him while they figure out what’s going on.

Except they don’t. S1 they figured out things, they pieced things together, they investigated.

S2 they spent the whole time trying to play matchmaker for Nina & Maggie, and despite having been on Earth for 6000 years, seem to have zero idea about human mating rituals.

It’s literally only at the end when Gabe gets his memory back that he TELLS them he left because he disagrees with triggering the second coming & want to run off with Beelzebub which, to me, is like Gaiman took a nose dive into the GO tumblr tags and went ‘aha! people have started shipping this! let’s make the masses giggle!’

On top of this, in what life would our Aziraphale - the angel who isn’t really an angel anymore, the hedonist, the guy who literally looked heaven in the face and said Buggere Alle This For a Larke and went off to find his friend and stop Armageddon - in what life would he think ‘ooh the metatron is giving me a promotion to start the second coming, let’s grab Crowley and we can turn him back into an angel!’????

No. He’s already made the decision that Heaven is Wrong. Heaven isn’t Good. He & Crowley have already decided at the end of S1 that they’re on their own side - the HUMAN side - and there’s no way Aziraphale is naive enough to think he can change anyone’s mind Up There.

And that kiss. God that made me so uncomfortable. It wasn’t heartbreaking to me, it was just uncomfortable and wrong.

As for those mini episodes. I’m honestly not sure what I can say about those. They bored the shit out of me & served little purpose to the ‘main plot’. They saw everyone loved the cold open and just thought ‘what chaos can we cause putting these two in various historical costumes this time?’

Im not in this to analyse every single thing, I’m not in it for the meta, I’m in this for the story. And to me, this was a seriously disappointing story.

I did like Nina & Maggie but I didn’t like how their story was handled. I also enjoyed how all the shopkeepers in Whickber Street were all convinced that stuffy & fluffy Mr Fell had himself a hot redhead vintage car enthusiast boyfriend, but that’s about all I really enjoyed from the whole thing.

I hate that I hate it. I really wanted to love it, especially since I see the vast majority of you loving it. I wanted to join in the froth. I hoped it would reignite my desire to write.

Alas.

Thus ends my unpopular opinion.

[honnojis]

go forth friend. ramble about your favorites of the SV cast (w warnings where absolutely necessary ofc!!)

i wanna hear ur opinions of em !!!!

OUGH okay i will. put all of that under the cut bc i'm definitely going to talk about big spoilers AND IT'S GONNA BE LENGTHY BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS. SV may be a mess in some aspects but the story is the best it's been in many gens, if not the best story in any Pokémon game

i gotta talk about the two elephants in the room first; RIKA AND ARVEN.

For Rika; She's giving me gender envy bc like. god i wish that were me. But also I want to marry her because oh my god I love her and her design so much GAMEFREAK WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME. Why do they always keep getting away with this shit EVERY GOD DAMN GEN that there's a character I end up being down bad for LOL... She's so chill!! But she's also so nice!!! And I'm ough. I really hope any future DLC will give her more screentime or at LEAST let me rematch her because why the fuck can i not fight the E4 again!!! sir!!! lemme see her!!!!!!!!!

Arven.............. he is my son now. That whole last stretch of the story in area zero really REALLY solidified him as my favourite of the main cast because man he's been through a lot and this guy can't catch a fucking break!!! Had to go years without seeing his parents only to find out that the one parent he remembers and saw only very occasionally as a kid died years prior to the game's events protecting the mirai/koraidon you've been traveling with all this time. And the whole thing about Mabosstiff!!! The titan questline had me tearing up on several occasions. im AUGh.... I'm so SO weak for characters like this who appear a bit standoffish at first but then open up to the player and they're just beans that have gone through a lot and are trying to help. And his own resolution to become a chef with the knowledge he now holds over the herba mystica to help others felt like the most logical course of action for him to take so i'm glad he found what he wants to strive for next!! anyways sorry not sorry if i end up drawing him a lot LMAO he lives in my brain rent free. son boy allowed

Then there's Nemona!!! She's so fucking head empty no thoughts and I love her. And if there's something in that head of hers it's just a brick with the only thought being violence and battle. And you know what? good for her! good for her. She's really funny and probably one of the most fun rivals we've had in recent history for pokemon. I like that she's not just super talented either, she literally explains to the trainer when you talk to her in postgame that she had to work hard to even get to this point. She really feels like a mirror to the player but she just took her journey of becoming a champion a year or two earlier than the player did. But also wow same lady ur just like me fr fr

Penny!! she's just a bean that cares for her friends!!! And the team Star story stuff really felt nicely done. Trying to help her friends that were painted as bullies because of a misunderstanding and mismanagement at the school while the team Star members aren't bad people at all. I also absolutely love her sass when traveling with her in Area Zero (and subsequently the dynamic between Penny, Nemona and Arven as a whole, they're best friends now your honor)

AND ALSO CAN I TALK ABOUT HER BATTLE THEME FOR A SECOND BECAUSE ?????????????????????

THEY PUT HARDCORE/HARDSTYLE IN MY POKEMON GAME

I genuinely was not expecting that but hearing the hardbass i was like wtf holy shit they went OFF with this track!!! The track is an absolute banger too but definitely felt unexpected for a character like Penny. Good for her though!! She's got one of the best themes in the game and im jamming

And then Turo! I played Violet but I'm aware that the same thing happens with Sada in Scarlet so it's easy to just replace names. Man... I could talk about this part of the story all fucking day. The professor is probably one of the most interesting "villains" in Pokémon as a whole and I'm SO GLAD that the series finally went down this route, because they absolutely nailed the story telling with this. Area Zero blew me out of the fucking water and was so unexpected!!! This whole segment has "REJUVENATION" written all over it!!! I was literally WAITING for Jan to get to this segment after completing the game, only for him to say the same exact shit LOL. I was not expecting this from a main series Pokémon game at ALL and frankly I'm so glad it did because this whole story segment with made Violet easily one of my favourite pokemon games in the series.

AI Turo stimulating the player from the background to find the herba mystica with arven and them becoming stronger but not really wanting to talk to Arven because-- just like his original counterpart-- he's too focused on the goal of the mission to care for the son of his original counterpart (though him being an AI also might hinder processing emotional attachment even MORE than the original Turo already had problems with). The reason why Turo hasn't visited Arven in years being that the original is dead and AI Turo literally cannot leave the crater due to him needing the power of the Tera crystals to stay functional. AI Turo, despite being the same in almost every possible way, realizing and coming to agree that there's no logic in the original Turo's decision to want to introduce future Pokémon into the ecosystem KNOWING that it'd destroy the old one, making him a better person than the original was-- and painting the original Turo as the villain in this situation due to that his obsession with the future as written in the Violet book drove him to ignore how wrong he was for what he was trying to do, even after death. AI Turo knowing that he himself is part of the security system and needs to be fought in order to put a stop to the time machine, hence why he stimulated the player to keep training and taking care of Miraidon. AI Turo realizing that he needed to go in order to put a total stop to the time machine because his very existence is keeping it active. He says "I want to see the future" and leaves the present day in order to stop the time machine, but there's some deeper implications here; in practice this is AI Turo taking a massive risk by sacrificing himself to save Paldea because on the chance he ends up outside of the crater, he'll cease functioning and will practically die. And you know? The revelation that he's an AI powered robot actually makes total sense if you paid attention to his animations and speech mannerisms; he's the only character that doesn't have a breathing animation (it's not even there in the first video transmission you see of him! and it's the same for Sada in Scarlet) and is constantly identifying the player & friends through student ID's and biometrics rather than acknowledging them as actual people. BUT ALSO THAT BATTLE WAS SO FUCKING COOL!! Genuinely challenging too since you had to figure out his mons' typings on the fly, AND HE'S GOT A BANGER BATTLE THEME. Toby Fox you've done it again you madman

honorable mention goes to Clavell and Grusha, the former because Clavell is fucking funny as hell and I'm so glad he ended up being more involved in the story than I expected. Sir you're a little behind with the times AND YOU ASKED ME WHAT CHEUGY MEANS WHICH KILLED ME but you're all the funnier for it. thank you. Grusha gets the mention because he caught me off guard by having the highest leveled gym team out of any of the gym leaders with having mons at level 47 while I strolled up with my mid-30's team and got my ass blasted. thank you sir. i will now never make the mistake of thinking you're a lower tier gym leader just because TPC advertised you early. good god

All that being said, I could go on about every other character but these really were the ones that stuck out the most in my mind. i have so many thoughts about this game and i swear the brainrot's going to be around for a LONG ASS TIME

[donttalkaboutmemes]

Hercules (1997) Lyric Meme

Under the cut you will find 90+ lyrics from the 1997 version of Hercules to use for your enjoyment!  

The Gospel Truth I

1.      “Back when the world was new, the planet Earth was down on it’s luck.”

2.      “Everywhere gigantic brutes called Titans ran amok.”

3.      “It was a nasty place. There was a mess wherever you stepped.”

4.      “That’s the gospel truth!”

5.      “The guy was too type A to just relax.”

6.      “Though it may seem impossible, that’s the gospel truth.”

7.      “On Mt. Olympus, life was neat and smooth as sweet vermouth.”

  The Gospel Truth II

8.      “He ran the Underworld, but thought the dead were dull and uncouth.”

9.      “He was as mean as he was ruthless.”

10.   “He had a plan to shake things up.”

  The Gospel Truth III

11.   “Since he did not drink the last drop, he still retained his godlike strength.”

12.   “The boy grew stronger every day.”

  Go The Distance

13.   “I have often dreamed of a far off place where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me.”

14.   “A voice keeps saying this is where I’m meant to be.”

15.   “I will find my way. I can go the distance.”

16.   “I’ll be there someday if I can be strong.”

17.   “I know every mile will be worth my while.”

18.   “I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong.”

19.   “I don’t care how far, somehow I’ll be strong.”

  Go The Distance (Reprise)

20.   “I will beat the odds. I can go the distance.”

21.   “I will face the world fearless, proud, and strong.”

22.   “I will please the gods.”

23.   “I can go the distance ‘til I find a hero’s welcome right where I belong.”

  One Last Hope

24.   “So ya wanna be a hero, kid? Well, whoop-de-doo!”

25.   “I have been around the block before with blockheads just like you.”

26.   “I’ve given up hope that someone would come along, a fella who’d ring the bell for once. Not the gong.”

27.   “I’ve been out to pasture, pal. My ambition gone.”

28.   “You need an advisor, a satyr but wiser.”

29.   “I’m down to one last hope and I hope it’s true. Though kid, you’re not exactly a dream come true.”

30.   “I’ve trained enough turkey’s who never came through.”

31.   “You’re my one last hope so you’ll have to do.”

32.   “Demigods have faced the odds and ended up a mockery.”

33.   “To be a true hero, kid, is a dying art. Like painting a masterpiece, it’s a work of heart.”

34.   “My dreams are on you, kid. Go make ‘em come true!”

  Zero To Hero

35.   “What a pro!”

36.   “He was a no one, a zero. Now he’s a honcho, he’s a hero!”

37.   “Here was a kid with his act down pat.”

38.   “From zero to hero in no time flat.”

39.   “When he smiled the girls went wild with ooh’s and aah’s.”

40.   “Say amen, there he goes again.”

41.   “Folks lined up just to watch him flex.”

42.   “This perfect package packed a pair of pretty pecs.”

43.   “Honey, the crowds were going bonkers!”

44.   “He showed them moxie, brains, and spunk!”

45.   “Who put the glad in gladiator?”

46.   “Whose daring deeds are great theater?”

47.   “Is he bold? No one braver!”

48.   “Is he sweet? Our favorite flavor!”

49.   “He hit the heights at breakneck speed!”

50.   “Now he’s a hero, yes indeed!”

  I Won’t Say I’m in Love

51.   “If there’s a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I’ve already won that.”

52.   “No man is worth the aggravation.”

53.   “That’s ancient history been there, done that.”

54.   “Who’d you think you’re kidding? He’s the earth and heaven to you.”

55.   “Try to keep it hidden, honey, we can see right through you.”

56.   “You can’t conceal it. We know how you feel and who you’re thinking of.”

57.   “No chance, no way. I won’t say it.”

58.   “You swoon. You sigh. Why deny it?”

59.   “It’s too cliché. I won’t say I’m in love.”

60.   “I thought my heart had learned its lesson. It feels so good when you start out.”

61.   “My head is screaming get a grip, girl, unless you’re dying to cry your heart out.”

62.   “You keep on denying who you are and how you’re feeling. Baby, we’re not buying. Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling.”

63.   “Face it like a grown-up.”

64.   “When ya gonna own up that you got it bad?”

65.   “Give up, give in. Check the grin. You’re in love.”

66.   “This scene won’t play. I won’t say I’m in love.”

67.   “You’re doing flips. Read our lips. You’re in love.”

68.   “You’re way off base. I won’t say it.”

69.   “Get off my case. I won’t say it.”

70.   “Don’t be proud. It’s okay you’re in love.”

71.   “At least out loud, I won’t say I’m in love.”

  A Star is Born

72.   “Gonna shout it from the mountaintops.”

73.   “A star is born.”

74.   “It’s a time for pulling out the stops.”

75.   “He’s a hero who can please the crowd.”

76.   “Just remember in the darkest hour within your heart’s the power for making you a hero, too.”

77.   “Don’t lose hope when you’re forlorn.”

78.   “Just keep your eyes upon the skies.”

79.   “Like a beacon in the cold, dark night a star is born.”

80.   “Told ya everything would turn out right.”

  Go The Distance (Single)

81.   “I have often dreamed of a far-off place where a hero’s welcome will be waiting for me.”

82.   “Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you.”

83.   “A thousand years would be worth the wait.”

84.   “It might take a lifetime, but somehow I’ll see it through.”

85.   “I won’t look back. I can go the distance.”

86.   “I’ll stay on track. No, I won’t accept defeat.”

87.   “It’s an uphill slope, but I won’t lose hope ‘til I go the distance and my journey is complete.”

88.   “To look beyond the glory is the hardest part.”

89.   “A hero’s strength is measured by his heart.”

90.   “Like a shooting star, I will go the distance.”

91.   “I will search the world. I will face its harms.”

92.   “I can go the distance ‘til I find my heroes welcome waiting in your arms.”

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

{hey you guys probably don't know this but i have more ocs outside of the bone gang and the other guys i've mentioned (mythos!tricky the clown) / shown (the amoguses). i do. i hate this!*}

{my mind is full of people that i can't get outta there. none of them pay rent except for the tyrant °^°}

{anyway this post is about the greatknight, a.k.a. the big scary hunk'a metal i showcased like. week or so ago. maybe three. idk man i have had Zero flow for the bone gang recently.}

{more shit under the Read more, as always.}

{okay so the greatknight, right? you guys probably aren't hounding at the fuckin' bit to know anything about him unless you are my closest friend ever - and even then they're banished to the wizard realm rn so i can't talk to them about him-}

{look he lives in a castle. big black one. all dark and menacing, like a good villain should be. (yeah he's a villain, sorry for not telling you sooner.) and as a good villain, he's been alive for god damn centuries - hell, eons, if i count right}

{he once started life as this guy. some dude. a fella, even. he was a kid. grew up to become a hired sword* - a mercenary, you get him to do a thing for ya and you pay him for his troubles. if you didn't pay? you'd never see him again, as he'd not want anything to do with you. wasn't a fan of free labor - still isn't.}

{in his advanced ages, - like, forty, forty-five, - pre-greatknight even managed to marry a pretty lady! a charismatic and kind soul, even for the ages that they come from. she saw something in the pre-greatknight that he didn't see in himself and said 'alright. you. ring.'.}

{they were happy for a time. a long time. about ten or so years, before The Incident.}

{this is where the pre-greatknight started to mold into his current-day form. after The Incident, the pre-greatknight decided that he wanted to become a recluse, go be alone until he dies. unfortunately, while he was out searching for his hermit home, he got lethally ambushed by a buncha heroes who mistook him for a villain due to his appearance at the time.}

{blood spurted from damn well everywhere it could. the pre-greatknight felt his bones crack with every movement. he had an hour left in him, if he played his cards right.}

{however... well, shit works out. as every good villain needs an origin story of sorts, this one involves skeletons finding the pre-greatknight leaning against a tree and accepting his fate. one o' them figured 'ay, we's built this cool suit o' armor. think we can make 'im trade that 'umanity o' his for it?'. the other seven agreed with this rambunctious idea.}

{and wouldn't ya guess it, they patched him up and replaced what blood he lost with some fresh stuff. one of the skeletons popped the question, and the pre-greatknight went for it. 'oh, cool suit of armor? 'n' all i gotta do is stop being human? fuck it.', was probably what he said then if i had to guess.}

{anyway, an eternal thanks from both sides later, and the Greatknight was born. (so now i can stop typing pre-greatknight. yay!)}

{of course, this is not the greatknight good and proper, this is just base-level greatknight, what with his mercenary know-how and human-level knowledge. since he was ambushed by heroes, he figured 'fuck it, we ball' and became a villain. he left his home-village to find an excellent plot of land that would house his future bloodwoods.}

{fast forward like a shitload of eons because i am rapidly losing steam, he built his blood army, cultivated the bloodwoods, and made a name for himself as one of the toughest villains you'd meet. yadda yadda. here he is.}

{/// NO IMAGE ATTACHED ///}

{the greatknight's still around, of course. if you want to rack your head about what his name is, what he looks like under his helmet, what happened to his wife, or even what race he is - theory craft! go for it! god knows i can't fucking figure it out and i'm the lore guy here!}

{anyway. enjoy yaselves. i'm gonna go on a friggin hiatus and reblog more shit. maybe play the division 2 a bit more. right now though (1:46 AM at the time of writin') i gotta tend to my cat so she doesn't wake up the entire house - she's in heat. can't help herself.}

{weeeeeeeee}

[*i want to get their designs onto paper but i can't draw for shit and i am incredibly stubborn about drawing on paper. one of these days i'm just gonna say fuck it and train myself] [**hired gun, w/o the gun]

[cherievol6]

hey, neighbour!

this isnt proof readddd. sorry if there’s mistakes and/or it’s bad. it moves kind of fast but i kind of like it tho. also just wanna say: AS IT WAS SUPREMACY. love you all, gonna go to sleep now, good night.

please like/reblog if you enjoy!!! 

harry is your insufferable, yet slightly hot neighbour.

word count: 2.8k (slay)

warnings: swearing, sexual references (not smut), illness (mild), Wicked slander, cuteness, more cuteness, ...thighs

.

Harry found you insufferable. He just did. He wasn’t sure if it was the fact that you blasted music too loud in your flat, or how loud he could hear you talk when he was sat by his Juliet balcony. Either way, he’d dread the moments when you’d leave your flat doors at the same time and share the same stinking look at each other, occasionally issuing your weekly complaints. It was a shame you were such a cow, he always thought, because he thought you were pretty. Like, really pretty. Almost too pretty, and he found himself having to stop wandering off in thoughts about you.

It was okay, though. You thought was Harry was a bit of a prick…an attractive prick, at that. You simultaneously dreaded and anticipated the evenings you’d reach your doors at the same time when you got a glimpse of his rugged-work-day look. Or when you’d catch him before his morning run, kitted out in short shorts and your favourite muscle tee of his.

You both wordlessly agreed to not mention the night you were coming home on a late and saw him getting handsy in the corridor with a leggy blonde. Although, you’d be lying if you didn’t try to picture his glossed over eyes and flushed cheeks sometimes when you were alone.

Sadly, his personality somehow cancelled out his attractiveness. You’d experienced the brunt of his bad moods just as much as his sly comments, specifically one morning last week.

“-I mean seriously, if you’re gonna rattle my fucking bedroom wall with your music, at least play something good.” Harry’s voice had filtered back into your daydream and your eyes re-focused, zeroing in on his frustrated expression and his hand white-knuckling his doorknob. You really worked this guy up, it was quite amusing.

“I have no choice, Styles. I mean, if you didn’t nearly break the plaster of the wall with your bed frame every night I wouldn’t have to,” you grinned, shoulder leant on your doorframe as you observed him, “that reminds me, tell your lady friend to keep her voice down next time.”

“That’s funny, I haven’t heard a peep from any visitors in your flat recently. Dry spell?” He mirrored your taunting smile, dimples poking out annoyingly.

He could dish it and take it, which was something that made your dynamic so good. Harry was chronically miserable, and you were looking for a bit of entertainment during the day.

Just to prove him wrong, you’d invited a guy from a club back to yours the night after to finally break said dry spell. Unfortunately, the guy had been obnoxiously vocal…almost too enthusiastic. The mood was ruined when Harry’s door slammed and you heard him sprinting out into the hallway before he banged on your door, screeching: “You’ve got to hear this. I think someone in the building is conducting an exorcism! Get up, you need to get out of there before the spirit inhabits your body too!”

Safe to say you weren’t ever seeing that guy again. And Harry had ammo indefinitely. You’d actually considered ending your lease early and moving out.

.

“So, how’s nightmare neighbour doing, still shagging anything with a pulse?”

You laugh loudly at your friend Saoirse, tapping the ash off your cigarette as you lean on the tiny railing of your balcony.

“Still the bane of my existence. Although I haven’t seen him in a while, I’m wondering if he’s away or something.” You ponder. You’re met with silence as you blow smoke into the muggy English air. You’re about to call your friend’s name when you hear her speak again.

“Oh my god. You like him, don’t you?”

“What?” You screech, prompting one of your neighbours to obnoxiously slam their window to make a point of your loudness. “I don’t like him at all, I’m just missing winding him up until he looks like a beetroot.”

“You miss him, hm? You mean you miss drooling over his ‘wonderful thighs’ as I so clearly remember you describing them last night.”

“Saoirse!” You scold, grabbing your phone and turning it off speaker, dropping your cigarette and traipsing back into your flat. Your friend cackles down the phone at your chagrin. Yes, you may have gone on a bit of a tangent about how Harry was a bit of eye candy, but had you said something about his thighs? You were a bottle of wine deep last night, so your memory was hazy. You act on the defensive, nonetheless.

You hadn’t seen Harry for nearly a week, and you were admittedly starting to grow slightly curious. You didn’t miss him; you were just nosy. At least that’s what you say to sleep at night. You didn’t see him outside stretching before his run; you didn’t see him coming back from a late night at the studio with a dark shadow around his jaw. He was nowhere to be seen, and suddenly you were finding your socked feet padding out into the hallway to investigate.

A parcel and a couple of letters lay abandoned on his doormat, and you were met with silence on the other side of his door as your ear pressed up to it. Maybe you were crossing some boundaries, but for the sake of your sanity, you held you ear there for a few more seconds. Your knuckles rap a few times on the door.

“Styles, ever heard of collecting your parcels? Nearly cracked my head open tripping over one this morning.” You jest, but no-one provides any answer on the other side. You knock again, getting impatient and also cold, and maybe also a tinge worried about his wellbeing. He would have swung his door open by now and cursed you away, so you knew something was up.

Taking a deep breath, you rattle the door handle with your hand gently, surprised to find it open, as it clicks and creaks inward to his flat. You’re met with a cold breeze and a soft light coming from what you assume is his living room, his flat laid out identical to yours.

“Styles? Harry? It’s-um. It’s me. Just wanted to check you’re alright?” You stammer, moving further into the flat until you hear a weak call of your name.

“I’m in here. Why the fuck are you in my flat?” His voice says scratchily. You pad down the hallway and find him sprawled on the sofa, blanket tucked all the way up to his chin and a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel placed diligently on his forehead. He looks as white as a sheet, and you think you can see his cheekbones even more.

“Thought you were dying. Clearly I was right.” You sigh, removing his makeshift ice pack and feeling his forehead, him immediately saying ‘piss off’ and trying to swat you away.

“Maybe I am dying. Maybe all of the physical and emotional toll of your presence has finally knocked me off my last legs.” He mutters, immediately shivering after the sentence and tugging the blanket even tighter around him. You frown.

“Definitely smells like you are in here. How long have you been trapped on the sofa?”

“Who knows. The days are blending. I think I can taste colours.” You roll your eyes at his dramatics, marching into his kitchen and demanding he tell you where his medicine cabinet is. He simply replies that he doesn’t have one, and you have to refrain from telling him off for being so careless.

“So, you’ve been holed up for what you think is nearly 50 hours without taking any painkillers for your fever? Have you even been eating?” You scold.

“Does bread count? I’ve just been eating the slices out of the pack. I haven’t had chance to go and do a shop, you div.” He weakly manifests a crumpled pack of bread from the duvet over his body, and you stare at him agape.

You always envisioned the nights spent with your miserable neighbour would never go past the extent of a few snarky comments in the corridor and some volume-wars when you both played your music, but never did you expect to be standing over his bed-bound self trying to treat him for his fever. Here he was, trying his best to keep up his arsehole act in his worst state.

“Call me a div again and I’m out that door—”

“No! Please. God I can’t believe I want you here, I must be ill.”

“Okay! Bye, Harry…” You say saracastically and wander away; he weakly grabs your hand. You ignore the tingles shooting up your body. He pleads that you stay, and you agree, retrieving him some painkillers from your own flat and grabbing your period water bottle, gathering a few more supplies that you deem fit for his symptoms. He looks like a kid on Christmas when you bring him a Sports Drink and a sandwich, too, making a comment about how you were ‘turning soft’. You refuted this, “I just don’t want to be a suspect in your suspicious disappearance.”

From then on, things definitely simmer down between the two of you, and it’s shocking to say at the least. He stops scowling at you 24/7, and almost stops the comments everyday; it feels like you’re living in a simulation. Who was this Harry and what happened to the old one? One morning, he even offers you a cereal bar on his way out, claiming he didn’t want to eat right before a run. You decided to ignore the fact that he never usually has a cereal bar in hand in the past mornings you’d seen him.

“I think I broke him.” You say, swiping your bronzer brush across your face rapidly and glancing at the clock on your phone in the top left-hand corner. Saoirse’s face contorts into amusement over facetime at your comment.

“You’ve got him all sappy for you. A bottle of Lucozade and a hot water bottle is the way to a man’s heart apparently.”

“Oh, Sersh, you should have seen him. Looked like death warmed up, he did. Maybe the fever gave him amnesia, he’s forgotten that he doesn’t like me.”

“Or maybe he liked you this whole time and tried to hide it through angst and fake-hate.”

“You read too much modern romance, babe,” Your right hand props your phone against your desk as the left tugs your dress down to your mid-thigh. You crouch to fit into the Facetime screen, and Saoirse lets out a stream of praises and compliments, making your cheeks heat under your makeup. Someone you knew from home had texted saying he was in town, and to your surprise had invited you on a date after a bit of flirty back and forth. You felt like you deserved this, although a very tiny part of your brain couldn’t help but feel different.

“You look fit. God knows if you’ll make it to the restaurant.”

The irony of that statement sits comfortably on your shoulders an hour later when you’re still waiting outside of your building for him to come and pick you up in the pouring rain. Maybe he was in an accident, you thought, although people in accidents don’t usually have time to block your phone number and all of your socials.

You can’t help but feel slightly defeated as you clamber up the flights of stairs back to your flat, heels in hand and tears threatening to spill at your seemingly horrendous luck with men. And just to top it off, Harry is stood outside of his door leant against the door frame, checking his new post.

He never checked his post outside, you thought. You put the thought to the back of your head.

“Wow, you’re dressed up. What happened to you?” He says, a hint of a smirk creeping on to his face. You ignore him rifling through your small handbag for your key. He shuffles on his feet and clears his throat.

“You’re quiet.” He tries again, and you look up at the ceiling in frustration when your fingers conveniently cannot find your key. He mutters a ‘never mind’ and gathers all of his post in his hand, heading back into his flat. You let a little cry out thinking he’s gone, but he’s paused in his doorway, now looking very alarmed.

You sniffle, tears now streaking down your face rapidly. His breathing is staggered, and you can almost hear his brain whirring, before papers are dropped to the floor and a gentle hand is on your forearm. This makes you cry harder, and he tugs your arm over his shoulder, embracing you semi-awkwardly, but comforting, nonetheless. Your nose buries into his neck and you can smell his aftershave that usually coasts past you in the hallway; it’s woodsy yet homey.

“This is so embarrassing.” You wail. He laughs and you feel the sadness lighten from your chest.

“Maybe. So, who was this guy anyway?” Your ears think they pick up on a hint of jealousy in his tone.

“An utter prick. Probably drives a shit car and calls women Females anyway.”

“Damn, now that you mention it…I think I was supposed to pick up this Female for a date tonight. I hope she’s not waiting for me…she kind of seemed like a psycho anyway. The type that blasts the Wicked soundtrack at 3am.” You can’t help the laugh that bursts out of your mouth as you pull away and swat his chest, earning a proud grin from him at his joke.

“Maybe you dodged a bullet with that one.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” He mumbles, swiping his thumb under your eyes. Your chest twists and sparks with giddiness at his implication.

“Why are we being so nice to each other now? it’s weird.” You frown, dropping your heels to the floor and leaning against your door. He takes a few steps forward.

“It is kind of strange. You just do that to me, I guess.” You’re shocked at his boldness. Forever you’d been in this weird in-between stage of enemies and friends, and now he was possibly implying that you had some kind of effect on him. It made your head spin.

The air feels slightly muggy as you close your eyes, feeling the heat of his body radiating to yours. He goes to speak, stepping slightly closer but you place your hand on his chest.

“Can I kiss you, Harry?” His cheeks redden and his eyes bulge. You tip your chin back and place your head against the door. You aren’t sure exactly where you wanted this to go, but you’d been thinking about what it would be like to kiss him for a long time and now felt better than ever. His arm presses into the door beside your head as he breathily mutters ‘please’, igniting you into action. Your hands grip his plush hips as you kiss him, all teeth and tongues, all hot and bothered. He whimpers, completely divulging in the searing kiss you were leading him through, and you could feel your body light up with heat almost everywhere. You stay like that for what feels like eternity, barely coming up for breaths as he now presses you flush against your door, hands wandering, breaths heavy.

“Fuck.” Is all he says once you both pull apart, barely, as Harry keeps his lips hovering a hair away from yours as his eyes dart all over your face. You smile, biting your lip to try and hide it and he grins back, fingers trailing over your collarbone.

“Glad that’s over, felt like kissing a fish.” You say, and he gapes, pinching your waist and attacking your neck with lovebites as you laugh loudly.

“Shut up. I think we should be more concerned about the fact that we’re neighbours. Neighbours who just snogged. And it was, like, really good.” He says breathlessly, hand carding through his floppy hair. You shrug.

“If you’re so concerned then lets just end our relations here, hm?” You tilt your head, patting him on the cheek and attempting to enter back into your flat. He makes noises of disapproval and drags you back, kissing you again.

“Nope. You’re not getting away that easily. Want to spend a little more time with you tonight.” His words make your stomach flutter, and you feel slightly warm. Your hand goes to tug at the curls on the back of his neck.

“And what exactly did you have in mind?”

“Hm. Not sure. I have some running shorts to wear for you…I’ve heard they’re a fan favourite because they show off my gorgeous thighs. Maybe a bit of the Wicked soundtrack—”

“Oh my God. You heard that?” Your voice is shameful and small as you try and hide your face in his neck once again. You hear his ‘mhm’ hum in his throat and you groan.

“I may have been sofa-bound and deathly ill, but I still had working ears and an open window, beautiful.” He winks. You groan again, face in hands.

“Are you put off now?” You sigh, rubbing your arm with your hand and looking at his nervously. He doesn’t respond verbally, kissing your mouth gently for the third time before lacing your hands together and guiding you towards his still-open flat door.

“Nothing can put me off. Kind of been into you from the day you moved in.”

[aizawaskittenwhore]

𝘯𝘴𝘧𝘸 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴

≛ 𝘧𝘵. 𝘪𝘻𝘶𝘬𝘶, 𝘣𝘢𝘬𝘶𝘨𝘰, 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘰, 𝘥𝘢𝘣𝘪, 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘬𝘪, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘸𝘬𝘴.

≛ 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: 𝘴𝘮𝘶𝘵. 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵.

≛ 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴: 1𝘬

≛ 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘥𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢 /𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘴𝘦𝘹, 𝘦𝘹𝘩𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘮, 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨/𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺, 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘥𝘰𝘮 (𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘬𝘪), 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.

𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 18. 𝘥𝘶𝘩.

𝘪𝘻𝘶𝘬𝘶:

i’m gonna be honest

that whole “innocent bby deku🥺” shit is played out. this man will demolish your pussy and will not apologize for it.

izuku has the full capacity to be rough in bed, so don’t let his sweet and demure presence fool you

he’s really into overstim surprisingly enough

watching you stir and keen as you cum again for the third time in a row fills him with a sense of pride

knowing nobody else could make you whine like this, make you sputter and stumble over each word, make you cream all over the dick the way he does

he also adores fucking you to the point where you can’t form a comprehensible sentence

he’ll give you deep, slow strokes while holding a bullet vibe directly to your swollen clit, pine eyes sparkling as he watches you plead for him to stop, yet buck your hips into him, chasing another orgasm.

calls you bunny instead of puppy bc ew

“you’re so insatiable, bunny. you like it when i—ah, fuck!—tease your pussy like this? ‘like it when i take what’s mine?”

the pleasure is overwhelming, insurmountable as he brings you to that prepice over and over again until you’re crying.

he’ll then flip you onto your stomach, hands digging into the dimples and slopes of your hips before absolutely impaling you on his length

he’s thick, and comes in at a solid 6-7 inches, so you’re always sore after a round or two

also

breeding kink. like a major one.

izuku wasn’t always the most confident in his abilities as a boyfriend let alone a lover

so when you started letting him cum inside you it was a huge boost

likes breeding you before work so he can think about the guys that hit on you in the break room smelling the scent of sex all over your body as you walk past them, sticky white fluid creeping down the leg of your pantyhose.

he couldn’t keep other guys from looking at you, but he could damn sure remind you of who you belonged to.

oh, and he’ll slide two fingers in once he’s done and scoop as much of his cum between them as possible before slipping them in your mouth so he can watch you suck it all off

this mf is possessive and nasty.

𝘣𝘢𝘬𝘶𝘨𝘰:

facefucking.

that’s it. send tweet

nah but in all seriousness, katsuki loves watching your eyes well up with tears as you squeeze and milk his dick for all it’s worth.

he’s a good 7-7.5 inches

not an insane amount of girth but the length more than compensates for it

most definitely uses it as a punishment

and isn’t afraid to do it while you’re in public either

which brings us to his exhibition kink

he’s very prideful when it comes to his reputation as a hero, so you would think that it would keep him from doing anything scandal worthy

wrong

it only adds to the searing arousal he gets from watching your tongue fondle his sensitive head, knees bruised from being beneath him for so long

it’s a power trip for him, especially if he’s in costume

depending on your behavior, he’ll be generous and let you swallow while praising your performance

or he’ll wrap a hand around the back of your neck, slide your mouth off of his spit-soaked cock, and stroke himself until his cum splatters all over your eyelashes, fully debauching you in the desolate alleyway

he’s made you walk back home with cum all over your face before, after you’d been particularly bratty over the course of a week

“katsuki! i can’t walk back home like this, what if someone notices?!”

“should’ve thought about that before you decided to visit me while you weren’t wearing any fuckin’ panties. nasty little girl...now hurry up and get a move on, and you better not wipe it off either.”

loves the thrill of humiliating you

unrelated, but he’s an ass man through and through, taking such pleasure in watching it jiggle and ripple under each heavy blow he delivers

takes photos of the marks afterwards and has an album for em.

he also loves fucking you on different surfaces around your penthouse (and his agency)

the man is territorial

so what better way to mark his territory than by making his gorgeous girlfriend squirt and cream all over it?

𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘰:

babe i am so sorry for your neighbors

cause if there’s nothing else shinsou loves it’s to make you scream

he’s got a corruption kink, but not in the way most people do

he doesn’t give a damn if you’re sweet and innocent, or if you’ve got the mouth of a sailor and could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch

what matters to him is making you lose your composure.

one day you’d been anticipating a call back from a job interview you’d gone to a few days prior

and shinsou just so happened to be observing your blissed-out expression as he ground into you from below, your body atop his

when your damned phone started ringing

being the sly little shit that he is, he saw an opportunity

“answer the phone pretty girl...don’t wanna keep them waiting, do you?”

reaching for your buzzing cell, you press the green ‘accept’ button, raising the device to your ear as you jolt forward

“hello, may i speak to y/n?” a chipper voice chimed through the receiver.

“t-this is sh-she. how can i—ah!—help you?” you garble your words, trying to suppress your moans

hitoshi merely takes this as a challenge, opting to drive into you deeper whilst trying to keep the noise down, it’s less fun when it’s obvious what you two are doing

his dick is thick as FUCK. 6 going on 7 inches but honestly you couldn’t give less of a fuck with the way he’s stretching you

surprisingly enough you managed your way through the phone call, telling the white lie of “helping the neighbors move”

but little did you know this was only the beginning of hitoshi’s new favorite pastime

he’s another exhibitionist too

so uh...good luck with that

remote control vibrators on dinner dates, fingers stuffed deep inside your sloppy cunt while he makes small talk with your mom at the dinner table,

even kneeling beneath your desk and sending you to heaven and back while you’re on a video call with your fucking boss.

he’s addicted to watching you fall apart, and is more than willing to apply that pressure.

𝘥𝘢𝘣𝘪:

dabi’s dick would fuck anyone stupid.

let’s make that clear.

it’s canon that he’s got a jacob’s ladder, blah blah blah, but let’s discuss how fucking pretty it is

creeping in at a firm eight inches, and about 4 and a half in girth with a drool-worthy mauve tip, his shaft slightly lighter than the rest of his tanned, unscarred skin

it’s dangerous, barbells running up the underside of his shaft or not

definitely into temperature play

and i’m not talking about that soft shit like warming up his fingers whilst they’re plunging in and out of your sweet center

no no no

that fucker will BRAND you and will not apologize

you’re his pretty little cumdump, and he’ll stake his claim upon your body how ever the hell he pleases

degradation is a given.

“—what a fuckin’ whore. tch, you really think you deserve this dick?”

“how about you get on your knees and beg for it then if you’re so damn needy.”

“quit your god damn whining, or i swear i’ll leave you spread out on this fuckin’ bar for shiggy to find. maybe i’ll even get a promotion for giving him such a slutty little bitch to use.”

“what’s wrong? does it hurt sweetheart? can’t take it after you talked all that shit earlier?” you shake your head no, thighs trembling as you struggle to maintain the position dabi’s folded you into. “...good.” he smirks, eyes gleaming with malice before pounding you to filth, cries spilling from your mouth as you beg for release, knowing he won’t give it to you.

making you cry? a specialty of dabi’s. your tears get him harder than anything; to watch your lips quiver as you sniffle, wiping away tears while he palms himself through his sweats

has shown you off to shigaraki, and will not hesitate to tongue your fluids off his digits while carrying on a full conversation with the other man.

after all, when you know your toy’s better than someone else’s, you tend to brag.

𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘬𝘪:

speaking of this mf

he’s the reason gamer boys get the rep of having massive dicks

cause god damn did you not expect this man to be slinging around eight bordering on nine inches of dick. four and a half to five inches of girth. poor you.

he’s also got a penchant for angry sex, so if that’s not enough of an indication that you’re going to have trouble walking afterwards i don’t know what is

but one thing he loves more than taking you apart piece by piece and cumming inside of you with zero remorse?

doing it when he’s in the middle of a game, and he’s online with the party’s voice chat.

“mmm—god, you really will do anything i tell you....swallowing every inch while these guys get to listen, and you’re not even embarrassed, you’re getting off on it!”

“i love little sluts like you, always doing whatever it takes just to have a cock pry them open at all times. that’s what you are, right? my little slut, made for me to do whatever i want to.”

yes, he’s made you whine so sweetly for him, cry as you beg him to touch you, while he plays fucking valorant.

and you can’t count how many times he’s mocked the way you gag and choke on his massive length while he played genshin impact with random guys online.

is a sucker for a good set of nudes, and isn’t afraid to ask for them on a regular basis

plus he just likes taking pictures/videos of you in general, saving them to a private album of his phone for him to use when you’re not there

he may parade you around as though you’re a lifeless fuckdoll, but if nothing else he’s possessive, and would rather relive the pain of losing to all might than let another man see you the way he does

but i’ll be honest, tomura’s not always a teasing, possessive, vindictive asshole with a huge dick.

he’s also a teasing, possessive, vindictive asshole with a thing for being dominated....and a huge dick.

see, it balances out!

it started with a bet that if he lost another round of mortal kombat you got to peg him

it took a lot of convincing, but he agreed to the terms, certain he’d win regardless

and after button smashing like your life depended on it with subzero, you managed to secure the win.

a grin stapled itself to your face after being treated to two hours of tomura’s incessant sobs and wails

“mhm—please...i can’t take it—ah! fuck, fuck, fuck! right there!”

“don’t make me work for it, i promise you’ll never be player two again, just please let me cum—m’ so close..”

game nights are always fun with him, you can count on it.

𝘩𝘢𝘸𝘬𝘴:

my god my god

i’m gonna say it right now: keigo doesn’t eat pussy for you.

he does it for him.

and that makes all the difference in the fucking world when he’s pulling you to sit on his face

scruff scratching at your inner thighs deliciously as he makes you squirt alllll over aforementioned facial hair, rolling your hypersensitive clit between soft lips and a fluid tongue

he could stay between your thighs for hours and hours on end

will propose to devour you in the most inappropriate of places

and honestly? isn’t the least bit ashamed about it. elevators, in front of large office windows just a few stories above the street where you’re just barely visible to the people below,

on endeavor’s decorative towels after he spread them out on the floor so he could fuck you senseless on top of them, etc.

the flame hero had pissed him off earlier, and he needed to exert some petty rage. this was most sensible use of his energy.

also in case it wasn’t obvious: breeding kink. duh.

no thoughts head empty just hawks begging to breed you during his rut

“come on pretty girl, let me make you a momma....can’t wait to stuff you full of my chicks....”

he blushes so deeply when he’s close to cumming

and boy does he fucking whine

dick is just as pretty as he is, he’s a good 6 inches with a three inch girth; tip flushed and pink

definitely cherishes intimacy during sex

and will certainly go out of his way to make sure you feel comfortable/desired

he could have all the money/fame in the world

and it still wouldn’t compare to the feeling of your thighs suffocating him while he slurps at your cunt like it’s his last meal.

[t0wnspersonb]

Twin Bed (Tsukishima Kei x Reader)

Anonymous said:

are u taking requests rn? 🥺 ive read ur tsukki fics and i know to myself ur the only one who can write this request amazingly: tsukki sneaking in to his s/o’s room at night bc he misses her and he saw how cute she is in her pajamas but couldnt help getting turned on as well bc she is wearing shorts and an oversized shirt it also didnt help that her bed is for one person only ;) UR AN AMAZING AUTHOR AND NEVER STOP WRITING TSUKKI OR HAIKYUU SCENARIOS COS THE PPL NEED U

~~~

Word Count: 2,475

Rated: Explicit

Warnings: SMUT, my shit writing, bad language

~~~

Yoooo this is was legit so fun to write lmao. I hope I did your request justice anon and I appreciate your kind words!!! I know I have other requests sitting in my inbox and I will try and to get to them soon. I might be a bit inactive the next couple of weeks, I will be going vacation (I definitely fucking need it lol) this week and then I start classes again. RIP. I hope you guys enjoy this one and let me know what you think!:) I literally am at a lost for words with how amazing you guys are and how unproblematic you guys have been considering the bullshit that’s been going around in the community. I just want to reiterate that this is a safe and fun place for everyone, it is never my intention to make anyone uncomfortable and if I do please let me know so that I can apologize correctly for it! But to make things clear I will not tolerate any fuckery on this blog, I don’t have the energy nor the patience to deal with shit like that. We are all capable of being decent human beings to each other. No drama, no bullshit, just a fun and safe place for everyone that wants to be part of it. ANYWAY, enough of my ranting, please enjoy this filth and my shit writing lmao 😘😘😘💕💕💕💕

~~~

You frowned slightly as you looked at your phone, your eyes squinting against the harshness of the light. 

 Tsukishima had texted you, multiple times - at two in the morning - in fact. While you dearly adored your boyfriend of only five months, you didn’t exactly adore the fact that he woke you up at this time.

 Especially considering you had to be up in about five hours to get ready for an exam.

 You sighed through your nose as you tugged your blankets from your body and made your way to your door. 

 “Kei… it’s two in the morning…” You yawned, looking up at your tall boyfriend with sleepy eyes. “The dorm manager is going to get mad at me if she catches you here.” 

 “Well let’s not get caught then.” he drawled out, gold eyes flickering over your body. A blonde eyebrow arched up; “is that my shirt?”

 You blinked at him for a moment, not fully registering what he had just asked before a soft blush began to coat your cheeks.

 You were definitely wearing one of his shirts, a green Sendai Frogs shirt that was way too big for your body, given his tall stature. He had left the shirt at your dorm two weeks ago, and naturally you wore it to bed almost every night. 

 “No.” You said in a small voice, carefully playing with your fingers as you looked up at him through your lashes.

 A soft blush covered Tsukishima’s cheeks before he scoffed, his slender fingers reaching up to push his glasses back up his nose. “You’re a terrible liar. Looks good on you though.” he said, brushing past you to get into your room.

 You turned to see him plop himself onto your bed, and you couldn’t help but stare. It was a strange sight to see to say the least. His 6’4 frame was just a tad out of place in your room, especially sitting on your incredibly small bed. But more so he was out of place because, well, your boyfriend was beautiful. It was like a Greek god decided to pay you a secret visit before the sun came up, ready to disappear at any moment. 

 Tsukishima’s hair was tousled perfectly, the tight black shirt he wore complimented him perfectly, emphasizing his broad shoulders and thick biceps. You felt your mouth go dry as you realized that he was wearing grey sweatpants, clinging low on his hips.

 How could someone look so good at two in the morning?

 “Are you just going to stare at me the entire time?” He called out, his back leaning against the wall your bed was pushed up against, his phone in hand. 

 “You’re the one that wanted to come over.” you frowned, locking your door before making your way towards the bed. “You’re taking up all the space.” You whined. 

 He rolled his eyes before his long legs parted, creating a space on the bed. “Come here.” 

 You felt your face burn even more, a strange shyness overtaking you at the intimate position he wanted you in. 

 It wasn’t like you had never been close to Tsukishima before, you guys had been intimate, many times... but then why were you so nervous all of a sudden?

 “What are you waiting for?” he asked, a blonde eyebrow quirked up.

 “Shut up.” you grumbled, carefully climbing over one of his long legs. You settled yourself against him, your upper body fitting easily between his legs, your back resting against his stomach and your head gently pressing into his strong chest.

 Resting against Tsukishima was far better than resting in your tiny bed. 

 One of his arms carefully wrapped around your waist, his large hand gently pressing against your stomach, the other hand held his phone in front of both of you, a volleyball game overtaking the screen.

 It was silent for a moment, both of you absorbed in the video. It had only been fifteen minutes into the game when Tsukishima began looking over your body. His gold eyes taking in your bare legs before flickering up. He zeroed in on the exposed skin of your hip, the shirt you wore had been pulled up slightly. 

 He swallowed thickly, arousal beginning to spike in his blood. Christ, it wasn’t like you were naked right now; it wasn’t like you were wearing anything incredibly enticing, but… fuck. Tsukishima began wracking his brain for when the last time it was that he had seen you. That’s right, it had been a while, a little over two weeks in fact. 

 His sudden desire was because he had just missed you right? He couldn’t possibly be turned on from the simple fact that you were in the shortest shorts known to man, or the fact that you were in his shirt and you weren’t…. Christ, you weren’t wearing a fucking bra. 

 He could see your hardened nipples through the shirt despite how baggy it was on your small body. 

 “Can you hold the phone, my arm is getting tired.” he said quietly, hoping that you hadn’t felt his hardening member against your back just yet. 

 “Really Kei?” you rolled your eyes but took his phone nonetheless, your eyes completely glued to the screen. The game was just beginning to get interesting.

 It was silent again.

 But this time, Tsukishima trailed his hand down to your exposed skin, carefully sliding his fingers under your shirt, gently tracing against your soft skin.

 You sighed softly at his touch, your body wiggling slightly against him to get more comfortable. Tsukishima took that as a good sign, his hands traveling further up, the rough pads of his fingers felt incredible against your skin; goosebumps erupting over your body.

 You shivered slightly, desire spiking in the pit of your stomach as his long fingers began moving further up, until they rested just below your breasts. Your breath hitched, your heart thumping loudly in your ears now. 

 His fingers carefully dragged against the soft underside of your breasts. You felt Tsukishima shift, his upper body sitting up slightly, his lips brushing gently against the shell of your outer ear, hot breath rustled your hair. 

 “Who’s winning?” he murmured, lips grazing against your ear before carefully brushing down towards your neck.

A soft whimper tore through your lips. “It’s uhmm… uh - o-oh Kei.” your eyes fluttered shut as his tongue darted across your skin, tasting you before biting down softly. You could feel your cunt clenching at his actions, your bundle of nerves suddenly throbbing to be touched.

 “What was that?” he teased softly, the hand that was gently caressing the underside of your breasts suddenly moved up, carefully cupping your entire breast, long fingers gently tugging at your hardened nipple.

 You moaned loudly before immediately dropping his phone, both hands clasping your mouth shut tightly.

 “Oh, that’s right, if your dorm manager caught me here, she would be furious right? I don’t want you getting in trouble, so you best be quiet hmm?” he murmured softly against your skin before pinching your nipple hard between two fingers.

 Your breath hitched, your eyes squeezing shut as pleasure rippled through your body.

 “But you make the cutest noises when you're turned on.” he said, his voice incredibly quiet and calm, despite the growing hardness that was pressing into your back now. “You’re in quite the dilemma, aren’t you?”

 His other hand suddenly trailed down, his fingers curling against your through your shorts. 

 “Fuck… you’re soaked.” he groaned quietly, feeling your arousal leaking through your panties and staining your shorts.

 He suddenly leaned back once again, your head once again resting against his strong chest. But despite his composure, his heart was racing just as much as yours. 

 He suddenly bucked his hips up, his cock rubbing against your back. A soft sigh escaped his lips, the hand that was groping your breast pulled out of your shirt and tangled into your hair, gently tugging and forcing you to arch your neck, staring up at the blonde male now.

 His gold eyes held nothing but lust now as he stared down at you with half-lidded eyes. 

 You had never seen a more gorgeous man in your entire life. 

 “What do you want?” he asked, his voice deep with arousal. But before you could say anything, the hand that was grasping you through your clothes suddenly tugged your shorts and panties to the side, long fingers brushing softly against your weeping slit.

 Tsukishima exhaled loudly, his cock jumping against your back as he felt just how wet you were. 

 “Fuck…” he whispered quietly, and carefully slid his finger to the top of your cunt, his finger gently pressing down against your clit.

 A jolt of pleasure erupted through your body, your mouth falling open in a silent plea as your eyes fluttered shut.

 He began rubbing delicate circles against you, a soft pleasure beginning to build up in your lower stomach, your hips rocking up carefully with his movements.

 “K-Kei…” you trembled, your hand reaching down and grasping at his forearm helplessly. 

 “Are you close?” he asked, his finger pressing down just a little bit harder, but that was all that you needed to get your legs shaking.

 The way he touched you… the way that he took care of you… it was no wonder you were completely head over heels for him.

 He was just too good.

 You nodded helplessly against his chest, and then suddenly he pulled his hand away from your dripping cunt, a soft cry of distress tearing through your lips. Why did he… but you were so close…

 “Can you move away for a second?” he asked quietly, gently pushing you forward. You shakily scooted away from him and heard the rustling of sheets and clothes. You twisted your head to look back and - your mouth went dry.

 Tsukishima was still resting against the wall, his lower body easily sprawled out against your bed as you still sat between his long legs, but this time… this time… he laid with one hand behind his head, the other was easily grasping his member, lazily sliding up and down his shaft. His grey sweatpants were bunched up around the tops of his thighs, his black shirt pulled up slightly, exposing his lower stomach and the perfect lines of his Adonis belt.

 “Come here.” he demanded, you turned to crawl over to him, fully intending on taking him into your mouth- his hand flew up, halting your movements. “No. I want to be inside you.”

 Your lips parted slightly as you nodded in a daze, your cunt squeezing around nothing at his words. But before you could sink down on top of his cock, he stopped you once more. 

 “Turn around.” he commanded. Your lips trembled softly, your hands gripping his upper thighs as you situated yourself on top of him, you could feel his fingers tugging your shorts and underwear to the side again, and then something blunt and thick began rubbing up and down your soaked entrance. 

 “Don’t tease me Kei, please.” you whimpered out, but before you could plead further, he grabbed your hips, forcing you to sink all the way down onto his member in one movement.

 You gritted your teeth tightly, biting back the loud shout that wanted to escape your throat at the sudden intrusion, at the force of him already hitting the most devastating depths within you.

 Fuck you had never been quite this full, never had someone quite this deep until you met Tsukishima.

 “Shit.” he cursed, growling slightly, his grip on your hips tightening as his eyes fluttered shut as your tight heat engulfed him completely.

 He could never get used to this. 

 After a moment of adjusting to the new intrusion you began rocking your hips, carefully sliding back and forth, your lips forming into a silent o as pleasure jolted through your body at each drag of his cock against your walls.

 A soft whimper tore through your lips as he began grabbing handfuls of your ass, his fingers gripping tightly at the soft flesh, kneading and pulling your cheeks apart. Before his hand settled on pulling your shorts and underwear further away, his eyes taking in the obscene way your cunt swallowed his cock.

 The quiet room was filled with the sound of rustling sheets, the wet noises of your arousal leaking through your stuffed cunt as Tsukishima slid in and out of you, the soft and breathless moans that escaped your lips, and the soft grunts of Tsukishima as he fought back his release. He couldn’t cum yet, not until you did.

 But he could tell that you were close by the desperate way you rocked your hips, faster, sloppier, chasing for a release.

 “Cum for me.” he demanded, his large hand cracking down against your ass. Your hand came up, stifling the loud gasp that wanted to escape your lips, your cunt clenching tightly around him. You could feel it then, the pleasure mixed with the sharp pain, the tightness in your lower stomach finally releasing. 

 “Fuck that’s it.” He murmured, watching as you trembled above him, his hands coming down to grip at your waist, forcing you to move faster against him as he began chasing his own release.

 Tsukishima gritted his teeth tightly before carefully shoving you off of his member, a soft cry escaping your lips as you collapsed on top of his legs. He gripped his member tightly, shooting thick ropes of his warmth all over your raised bottom, staining your shorts completely.

 “Shit hold on.” he panted slightly, carefully moving himself from under you. He tucked his softening member back into his sweatpants before moving towards your closet, grabbing a towel and making his way back to you. His gentle hands easily cleaning you up before tugging your shorts and panties off, replacing them with fresh ones.

 You looked up at him sleepily as he began situating you both on your small body, half of your body resting on top of his as he drew the blankets over your guys’ form. 

 “You suck Kei. If I fail this exam because I’m too tired to focus, you have to buy me ramen.” you mumbled against his chest, your eyes drooping as sleep began to tug at your mind.

 “If you fail this exam just because you’re tired then that just proves you didn’t actually study for it. You should’ve been able to retain that information regardless.” he said, fingers gently running through your hair.

 “You suck.” you sighed again, softly nuzzling your face into his chest.

 A smile tugged at his lips, but he didn’t say anything else. 

 Not that you would have listened anyway, considering that you were knocked out now. 

 Tsukishima’s body was definitely more comfortable than your twin bed. 

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Ares

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares

Lucifer

He cannot overstate what kind of damage this mortal was able to do in their first few seconds in the Devildom...

The instant they got to their feet, they had managed to incapacitate Satan and knock down Beel. Lucifer himself tried to get between them and Diavolo but…

If he hadn’t moved his head, if he was standing just ONE INCH to the left… he wouldn’t have a head anymore. Barbatos was there to intervene, but had he not they could have probably taken out the Avatar of Pride and done critical damage to the Demon Prince himself in one strike...

Frankly, Lucifer prefers not to dwell on that moment... He's sure Ares must be proud of this one...

He pretty much treats the mortal like a live bomb afterward, if he can get away with not interacting with them at all, that’s what he’ll do.

He’s NOT scared of them... much... It’s just that they have a bullish and uncooperative attitude at best and since they know they can take any of them, they don't even consider him - Lucifer, the eldest demon brother - a threat...

But you know what the most frustrating thing is? They won't give him an inch of respect, but they'll always listen to Levi! Levi!!

Look, Lucifer knows he may not hold a rank among the Hell's army and he might not have been a major player in the Celestial/Demonic wars of the day, but he's still the strongest demons here, dammit!! 😡

Lucifer finds nothing is more embarrassing than having to ask Levi of all people to keep the mortal in line because he can't... Oh, the humiliation… He hopes they leave soon...

Mammon

At first, he thought they were scary. But in time he thought they were scary… and also pretty damn awkward.

Mammon wasn’t there when they more or less wiped out the majority of his brothers in the Conference Hall but when he finally showed up he'd never seen Lucifer look so pale… If THAT doesn't make you shit your pants, he doesn't know what will.

Naturally, he kind of toned it down on the "stupid human" stuff real quick after seeing that…

But here's the thing. After the two made a pact together, Mammon started to notice that the MC wasn't all that mean, they were just… violent?

He legitimately thought that they couldn’t stand him for a while until one day a guy on the street called him a dirtbag. The MC threw a punch right there! No questions asked, they just decked that guy!!

It was kind of touching… and messy. Very messy. Did he mention that they’re terrifying yet? 😥

As it turns out, the MC has apparently spent a lot of their life just fighting things and being asked to fight things so they're not very used to showing non-violent affection… 

It took him awhile, but he realized that their way of saying, "I like you," is, "I will attack your enemies." So now all he does when his brothers tease him is say, "I'm telling MC!'' and they'll stop immediately. It's great!! 😁

Considers them to be his bodyguard when he goes out to gamble in some… shadier places. Most of the time not even the bouncers want to take on the MC, ain't nobody getting paid enough to lose that many teeth…

Leviathan

Okay, so. It's not very obvious anymore, but he USED to be on the front lines of the war against demons in the Celestial Realm. He was in charge of battle strategies, he led armies, and even now he still holds the highest rank of the royal navy!

So leave it to the kid of a war god to sniff all that out about him, huh…? They appeared to know all about his record the instant they saw him and they actually seemed to respect him for it!

For context, this mortal tells pretty much everybody to shove off but any time he’s around they call him “Admiral” or “sir” and actually pay attention to what he says! He can tell it drives Lucifer insane, but honestly? It’s a bit of an ego boost. 😌

It’s sort of cute when they come to him asking for tactical advice… They get just as into it as he does with his anime and any time he points out something that they haven't seen before they get so excited it's like they're a kid watching a magic trick. HUGE ego boost. 😏

Speaking of anime, it’s hit or miss whether or not they can watch any of it. Anything with good fight scenes (and let’s be honest, not that much talking) they’re on board for. But if the hero and the villain talk to each other for like an episode before throwing punches then the MC will just rant...

MC: “The enemy is distracted... Why aren’t they attacking yet??”

Levi: “Because the villain killed the hero’s best friend and they’re-”

MC: “They could avenge their friend right now if they ended things right here!”

Levi: “MC, we’ve been over this... That’s not how plot works.”

MC: “And now he got away!! See?? They should have killed him when they had the chance!”

Levi: “*sigh*... Let’s just play some CoD.”

Satan 

The last thing he remembered when the “human” hopped out of the portal was a sharp pain to the side of the temple and Asmo wailing as he fell unconscious…

Yeeeeah, not great. And unfortunately for the mortal the Avatar of Wrath tends to hold a grudge… 

For a comparatively brief moment in time, all of Satan’s considerable ire had shifted away from Lucifer and to their new housemate. They found their bed, clothes, pillows, food, and even their toothbrush cursed!

… But Ares kids must be built from some strong stuff, because half of what he employed didn’t even faze them! He even put an explosive spell on their backpack and not only did they tank the blast, it didn’t hurt them at all!! It was like they’re damn near immortal!

Annnnd they kind of are. Apparently the MC had taken a dip in the River Styx at some point before and became nigh invulnerable…

Was it maybe a little terrifying to know that they had kidnapped a nearly invincible demigod on the level of Achilles? Yes. Did that also mean that they must have had a weakness too? In theory....

Satan honestly devoted a depressing amount of time trying to uncover the “Achilles’ Heel” of his new sworn enemy… until…

The MC was walking with him and Asmo to RAD one morning when they passed by a group of lesser demons harassing a small puppy. Now Satan may be more of a cat man, but NO ONE fucks with animals while he’s around.

He was right about to go over and rip those demons a new one but the MC actually beat him to it! Apparently, the second that they realized what was happening, they launched themselves forward and started bashing the abusers' heads into a wall!

… Live by violence, forgive by violence because in that very moment Satan decided they weren’t so bad after all. He even joined in!

Oh, Asmo gave them both shit all day for the bloodstains on their uniforms and the scratches on their… everywhere, but it’s not like either of them cared. Righteous justice had been served and it was glorious!!

100% would team up with the MC in some kind of vigilante “punish-all-animal-abusers” gig. They have but to ask. 😌

Asmodeus

Oh they TERRIFIED Asmo when they first showed up! How else was he supposed to react?? They brought down his brothers like they were made of cardboard!!

Though he had to admit that the confident, battle-ready look they had about them was sexy as hell, he knew better than to go bear poking! 😣 He avoided them like plague until they finally asked him for a pact.

And then he discovered something… something very unexpected….

They're actually adorable!!!

Okay, like, not in appearance (they look like they could pile drive Cerberus for Pete’s sake!) but he discovered that they have NO CLUE how to handle physical affection. Like zero!!

The first time Asmo actually got the courage to try and hug them he expected them to toss him off, but instead they just stood there like a malfunctioning doll, all flustered and confused… It was so cute!!! 🥰

From that point on, Asmo would take every chance he could to wrap his arms around them or kiss their cheeks just to watch them try and fail to handle it. It's more fun than picking on Levi!!

It took two months for them to finally attempt any kind of reciprocation and even that was adorable! They pecked him on the forehead without thinking about it then nearly passed out from the realization. Apparently, they had never felt like kissing anyone before so he was quite honored!

The brothers know that if the MC's looking too mad to listen to Levi, they just need to call Asmo. A nigh invincible warrior becomes a LOT less scary after you’ve cuddled them into submission! 🤭

Beelzebub

Beel didn't like them one bit, at least not at the beginning. They had managed to get past him and actually attack Lucifer which was NOT a great first impression on their part...

He honestly saw them as a threat for a while, but unlike the rest of his brothers he didn’t avoid them. He just kept an eye on them.... constantly….

Look. Beel is a big guy. Stealth is not his strong suit… If he's tailing you, you're probably going to know about it because there's a six-foot something behemoth in orange following you around while pounding down bags of chips. He's not very subtle…

That being said, after following them around for a while the two finally got to talking and he realized that they didn’t want to hurt anybody or anything. They were just acting on instinct before.

After making the MC promise not to hurt any of his family, they got on much better terms. Hell, he actually got them into fangol!

Beel's sport of choice is pretty much just ultra-violent American football so the MC took a liking to it instantly! After enough begging, the coach let them try out and they got onto his team immediately.

He likes having them as a teammate! They're very good at the game, uh... even if they take it a little too seriously…

They once tried to convince his teammates to decorate the team bus with "the helmets of their fallen foes." They're REALLY into the sport… But hey, they haven't lost a game since they’ve joined. It’ll be fine!... Probably.

Belphegor

Hahaha… He’s in danger… 😥

It took one look at this mortal to make him rethink the whole, “Trick the Human” plan… Since when have humans looked like that?? They could crush his skull under their heel!!

It took all he had in him to play it cool when they first met because his internal monologue was nothing but screaming… THIS was the "human" he had to use to get him out of there?? How in the WORLD was he going to kill them?!

Admittedly, he had to think about it for a while. Belphie's a clever guy… and a demon. So who needs an honorable fight, anyway? If he can’t win one-on-one, then he’ll cheat!

He waited until the MC got the door open and didn't attempt a frontal assault… No laughter, no gloating. He just waited for them to turn their back, claws ready to dig out their heart, and then-!

MC: "Do you really want to try that?"

The MC must have had some kind of danger sense, because they didn't even have to turn around to know what Belphie was doing…

MC: "Look. I like Beel and you're his twin brother… So I'm willing to let this slide. But if you really want to try me…"

MC: *looks over their shoulder with the glare of a bona fide killer* "I won't hold back."

That was... very persuasive.

The MC brought Belphie down to the others peacefully with his tail between his legs and honestly Lucifer was more relieved that he wasn’t a bloodstain on the floor than he was mad… They could have killed him sooo easily… 

They did, indeed, forgive and forget about the whole “attempted murder” thing, though Belphie was never quite able to shake off how frightening they were in that moment… He had nightmares for a while.

Thankfully, Asmo clued him in that the MC would melt into a harmless puddle of fluff if they got even the slightest bit of physical affection... Oh, the sweet payback he could dish out... It’s cuddle time. 😏