#everybody ive told this to is on my side

[scarletrosii]

Sunday was a full work day for me, I worked in the morning and night, both jobs, which happens occasionally on Sundays, not often but occasionally. But last Sunday, the 8th, I came home to find things moved in the living room. Mainly, my bookshelves. The ones I drove like 6 hours to the nearest ikea in a downpour for.

I was annoyed, but I had told roomate she could move things in shared area bc she had a better sense of decor than I did. So I looked to the only place she'd put them, which was around the corner.

There were shelves up.

Now you might be thinking, Scarlet, bookshelves are supposed to have shelves lol. You're not far off, but the thing is, I made it very very clear nobody is to go in my room. Ever. Unless death is actively happening. EVER. Very clear. What does this have to do with my shelves?

The pegs are in my room. In a cup, on a dresser I have almost immediately inside the room. I never took them out bc I wanted to fix one of the shelves first, it got damaged during the move.

Again, why does this matter.

What matters is HOW she put the shelves up. She put screws. In my bookshelves. The ones I spent over 100 dollars on. The ones I had been dreaming of for over two years before finally getting. The ones that the trip almost cost my van.

This was over two days ago. I thought I had given myself enough time, to calm down, so I'd be able to have a discussion rationally.

Another full day today, I get home and take another look at my shelves and nope. I'm hardly calm. Rage tastes like raw blood, and my teeth are dripping with it.

[quinn-pop]

uhh. i accidentally made another comic. future au strikes back

(pt 1/3)

a question - 1 2 3

[penisliker-moved]

i did Not Start feeling better lol.i feel worse

[evie-sturns]

no one has to know what we do - Chris Sturniolo

summary: ever since you met the triplets in 3rd grade, youve had been closest with chris. you've never admitted it to anyone but you've been madly inlove with him for a few years now. the triplets 20th birthday comes around, they celebrate by inviting the friend group to their house for the weekend, what happens when you and chris are left alone in his bedroom, will things stay the same, or will you two be forced to sneak around.

contains: smut, fwb!chris, sneaking around friends, swearing, fluff.

------------------┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐-----------———-

♫.. no one has to know what we do, his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room..♫

I've known the triplets since i could walk, marylou and my mom met in highschool so i've grown up around the nick matt and chris my whole life. ive always been closest with chirs,

but i hate to admit the fact that i've been thinking about him differently, a lot differently. i've never though about matt in that way though, even though they're practically the same. it's something about chris's hair, i've always wondered how my fingers would feel laced through his brown locks while he rests between my thighs.

6:39pm, friday night.

i push open the sturniolos front door to find nick, chris, matt, madi, nate, and several other friends from highschool, hannah, grace and yolanda, leaning on the counter, all laughing with eachother.

''hey!!" chris says with a wide grin, running up to me and wrapping his arms around me. "chrisss" i smile back at him.

this weekend is the sturniolos birthday, they've invited madi, me, nathan, and 3 other friends round for friday night, saturday and sunday, for those three nights chris and i are sharing a room, alone.

he grabs my small tote brag i brought and chucks it into the spare room. i walk into the kitchen and greet everyone else, instantly getting dragged by nick into the living room.

"we're watching the grinch." madi declares, "fuck no! its the middle of fucking august" nick yells back, nate chimes in, adding something to the debate.

before i can open my mouth i feel a cold hand grab my arm, its chris.

my head swings around, my hair hitting his neck. "c'mon" chris says, taking me over to the couch and throwing himself down and patting the spot next to him. i flop next to him, cuddling close to his side as everybody else piles down, "so we're watching the grinch?" madi says with a cheeky smile, "no." nick instantly replies, switching the tv on.

the intro song to rapunzel blasts through the small room, a loud cheer comes from the 7 other people around chris and i.

i'm basically frozen, my mouth won't move and i can feel my heart pounding out of my chest. sure, chris and i have been friends forever but god hes been so physical the past few weeks its been hard to hold myself together.

"you okay?" chris whispers down into my hair.

"yeah!" i chirp back

"you seem nervous"

"im not."

im 90% sure he knows.

"im sorry this movie is ASS." nate says, interrupting the movie. "gotta say, i do kinda agree with you." madi replies, "i told you the grinch was better!" she says, earning a boo from nick.

nick leans over to me, "go get a boardgame from chris's room cause these fuck heads aren't happy with rapunzel." he tutts.

i heave myself up off the couch, "chris where do you keep your array of boardgames" i scoff, shaking my head with a smile. "first of all i dont have 50 boardgames i play" he laughs as he walks over to me.

i walk upstairs towards chris's room, him closley behind me still yapping about the fact hes not that big of a fan of board games.

i open the large wooden door to chris's room, the familiar sight filling my vision.

chris shuts the door behind us, i don't question it, he probably just wants to keep his room air conditioned. i look back at him,

"so where are the-" i start but get interrupted by chris's hand on my jaw, he looks at my lips then my eyes, then my lips before slamming his onto mine.

i kiss him back. of course i do? i've practically dreamt about this moment since i was 16.

"i know i make you nervous y/n" he rasps into my lips, his second hand grabbing my cheek as he walks us back, our lips still connected as my back hits the wall, pinning me down slightly with his mouth.

he pulls away for a second, scanning my face for a readable expression. "chris" i breathe out, running my hand through my hair.

"im sorry, im so fucking sorry i shouldnt've done that-" he starts, taking a step back, "chris." i interrupt him, reconnecting our lips.

"you make me nervous, really fucking nervous." i say into his lips, his hand finds its way to the back of my head, his fingers intertwined in my hair.

suddenly the door to his bedroom rattles, i instantly pull away, my head spinning round to look at the door which is being pushed open/

madi, matt, nick and 3 of our other friends walk in, all laughing with each other about god knows what, i scramble towards the closet, looking for any board game i can.

i pull out the despicable me version of 'game of life' which has several minions on the front. a small laugh exits my mouth before i join the small circle which has formed on the floor with our friends.

"y/n...." matt says with a laugh, grabbing the board game off me "despicable me?" hannah says with a scoff

"im sorry! chris doesn't have the collection of board games i expected!" i tease back.

"it'll be okay!" grace says, a somewhat optimistic smile painted across her face.

chris joins the circle of friends on the floor, sitting down opposite me. hes got a small panicked expression, his lips red and raw, his cheeks a deep pink. his eyes are fixed on mine.

"so whos gonna roll first?" nick chuckles.

(8:45pm)

madi won the boardgame about 30 minutes ago, i've been laying on the floor of chris's room with all of our friends, execept for chris.

he disappeared while everyone was celebratings madis 'epic' win.

"we've gotta play truth or dare.." yolanda says, "like the corny middle school shit you know?"

nick claps his hands with a goofy grin, followed by matt rolling his eyes but later agreeing.

"nick, truth or dare" grace laughs,

i stand up off the floor, walking out of chris's room while everyones distracted watching nick try to do a head stand.

the wooden stairs creak as i jog down them, i swing open the back door and im met with chris. he's sitting on the outdoor bench, scrolling aimlessly through his phone.

his head shoots up to look at me as i walk over to the bench, sitting under it.

"hey!" he says smiling, then putting his phone down on the armrest.

"how was despicable me game of life?" chris nudges me in the arm, a stupid smile on his pink lips.

"shut up!" i scoff, flicking his arm softly.

a silence fills the air, only sounds of distant cars vaguely humming in the background. chris runs a hand through his brunette hair, his long fingers peeking through the strands of his hair.

"um-" chris clears his throat.

"chris.." i whisper i start, then get off by his voice

"i dont think i'm ready for a relationship."

my heart sinks.

i didnt even say i liked him like that to his face?

"come with me." he declares, standing up abruptly grabbing my hand and pulling me inside.

everyone's hanging out in the living room, nobodys really paying attention to rapunzel anymore. nicks head shoots up "y/n come over!!" he smiles at me.

"we're gonna go get ready for bed, super tired." chris speaks for me. i run over to nick, giving him and matt a goodnight hug before returning to chris. he grabs my hand firmly then pulls me upstairs into his room, slamming the door shut behind us

my heart thumps as chris looks down at me, his hand reaches out for my chin, his other hand firmly gripping my waist as his fingertips lightly squeeze my waist. i stare at his lips, he stares at mine before colliding them for the second time today.

without another word his shirt is across the room, his necklace resting on his chest. my shirt follows, ending up somewhere around the room. "chris" i moan lightly into his lips as his hand snakes round to my back, unclasping my bra and letting it fall to the floor.

he frantically rips off his sweatpants, i shimmy my shorts down my legs.

the air surrounding us grows hot as i fall back onto his bed, "chris- we can't, nick always tells me that he'd kill me if i even though about his brothers sexually, i mean-" i ramble, but chris cuts me off.

"no one has to know what we do." he whispers, his hands intertwined in my hair.

my eyes switch from chris, to the amount of our clothes scattered across his room, the same room chris and i grew up in.

i nod "okay." a smile creeps across my face.

chris pulls off my panties, throwing them ontop of his desk. he pauses for a second, his eyes exploring every inch of my body. "oh my god." he mutters, "you okay?" he asks quickly while he pulls down his boxers, his hard length springing out. his dick is strangely perfect, "yeah, more than okay.." i whisper, my eyes fixed on his cock.

he nods "you've done.. this before right?" chris laughs slightly. "yeah- yeah" i giggle. "you're so pretty." he says, stroking his length while his eyes stare at my exposed body.

"ready?" he asks, his tip lightly pressing against my hole.

i'm not even fully processing whats happening right now, the boy i've secretly been practically inlove with for a few years is now about to fuck me.

"very." i tease, gripping the sheets for support. he pushes into me, a low whimper escaping his mouth "squeezing me so well." he stutters, bottoming out in me.

i let out a string of moans as i arch my back off the bed "so good, doing so good." he says, his thrusts rapidly increasing in pace and intensity. his fingers lace into my hair, tugging lightly but not painfully.

i let out a desperate groan "chris- fuck!"

he reaches a hand down and presses on my lower stomach, feeling how deep he is inside of me. "you feel me?" he says in between thrusts.

I squeeze my eyes shut, my vision fogged.

"i said you feel me?" he mumbles, his hair flopping with each time his tip hits my cervix.

"yes! yes-" i blurt out,

chris grabs my throat, pinning me down to the bed.

my eyes open in shock, a few short breaths exiting my mouth.

"finish, finish for me."

and with those words i do, i clench around him and release my built up orgasm. chris instantly lets go of my throat being careful not to push me too hard, he pulls out, painting my stomach with warm streaks of white.

"fuck...." he groans, throwing his head back.

i catch my breath as chris collapses next to me, he pulls me ontop of his body as he strokes my hair.

"you did so well." he whispers into my hair.

after a good 10 minutes of laying in silence i break it,

"um chris.."

"yes?" he replies.

"what are we.. now."

another silence fills the room "i dont know." he says, a bit of guilt in his voice.

he starts "i mean if you give me a few weeks we can put a label on us or we could just stay friends and forget this happened but i dont know if i want that because i really enjoyed this but i mean we could be friends with benefits-"

i interuppt his rambles "friends with benefits!?" i say with a small smile.

"if you want, could be fun like sneaking around.."

i nod frantically at chris's words "i'd like that."

-

(saturday 5pm)

after yesterday nights unexpected encounter chris and i have kept our promise, this whole day everyones been hanging out at the pool but currently we're in the bathroom, and hes fully inside of me.

"fuck-" he mumbles, slamming into me as i sit on the countertop. my bikini bottoms are pulled to the side as he pounds into me repeatedly, "close." he warns.

i clench around him, the knot in my stomach snapping as i release around his length with a scream of his name. he pulls out, orgasming on my thighs.

"you okay?" he asks, panting as he wipes my thigh with his hand.

i collide our lips together "yeah." i mumble into his mouth.

a few seconds pass before we pull away, he helps me down off the countertop as i catch my balance.

he grabs my hand and unlocks the bathroom door, he guides us both back to the pool, rejoining all our friends like we weren't fucking each other 3 minutes ago.

i lay down by the poolside, my legs shaking slightly from the intensity of the past events.

chris sits down next to me "you got a little something." he whispers with a laugh, quickly reaching down and wiping my thigh where we missed a spot.

(1 month later)

a month ago today chris and i were sneaking around at his 20th birthday party, for the past 4 weeks we've been meeting up at each other's houses, hooking up every time we get the chance. we didnt speak about anything, i think hes happy staying friends with benefits even though i want more, ive needed more for 3 years.

11:32pm

i roll over in bed, checking my phone one last time before i fall asleep. suddenly my phone frantically vibrates,

its chris?

i pick up the phone "chris its late..." i groan into the phone.

"i need to talk to you, can i come over.. please?" he asks innocently, "okay if you want to just talk, im so tired."

i hang up, after a couple minutes i hear the rumble of chriss car in my driveway, followed by his footsteps upstairs. he swings open the door to my room "hey!" he says nervously, jumping into bed beside me. "you alright?" i ask, holding his hand.

he stays silent for a few seconds, before starting.

"i think im in love with you?" he blurts out.

"you- what?" i repeat, confusion painted in my voice.

"i know, but for the past few.. years? ive liked you- alot.. and i dont just want you to be my fuck buddy anymore, i want to be more."

he takes a deep breath, i stay silent in shock.

"i feel the absolute exact same Christopher." i say, looking over at him.

"do you wanna.. make things official." he asks quietly.

i roll over ontop of him, smothering him in kisses "yes!" i laugh, wrapping my arms around him. relief washes over his face.

we lay still for a few minutes, "can i stay the night?" he asks with a laugh, "please do." i reply, my eyes fluttering shut.

we lay in silence for a few minutes, but a small laugh exits his mouth.

"yeah?" i smile into his chest.

"nothing it was just painfully obvious i was head over heels for you, how did you not guess" he laughs

"chris, im sorry but i was terrified to make a move purely because of how it wasnt obvious." i say, planting the 84th kiss of the night on his face.

----------------------------

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box— Cruel Weather (End)

story/original request based off this ask: Reactions to Sissy Getting Hurt

warnings: swearing, accident, mentions of injuries, surgery, mentions of pain medications, crying, anxiety, overall angst

word count: ~7.9k

General Series Masterlist

part one — part two — part three — part four

a/n i did not edit this much at all so excuse all typos!

THERE WILL NOT BE AN EPILOGUE! THIS IS THE HAPPY ENDING! IT’S STILL SAD BUT THIS IS WHAT WE GET!!

————————

You started to hear quiet voices, and then a really pissed off Quinn. You drowned it out, but you couldn’t drown out the pain that shot through you when Trevor was shaken awake. Everybody was suddenly on guard when you cried out in pain. Trevor slowly sat up and smacked Quinn on the arm, “Look what you did!”

“Sissy, I’m–”

“Not your fault,” you grunted out through twinges of pain. You gripped Trevor’s hand with all your might, trying to breathe through it. Your body felt heavy against the pillows when the pain finally dulled. You took deep breaths to relax as Trevor rubbed circles on your hand with his thumb and ran his fingers through your hair in a calming motion. You nodded at him with your eyes closed when you felt better.

“Go back to sleep if you need, sweet girl,” Trevor whispered. “We’ll still be here when you wake up.”

You opened your eyes to look at Quinn, who looked scared out of his mind.

“Come here,” you told him. Quinn carefully stepped towards you, and once he got close, you could see the tears forming in his eyes. “You didn’t know. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

Trevor relinquished your hand so Quinn could hold it, “You’re awake.”

“Something like that,” you said drowsily. You turned your head to look at everyone else that was in the room, and you were surprised at how many people were actually here. Your mom, dad, Jack, Luke, Cole, Alex, Jamie, and Matty. “Hi.”

There wasn’t a dry eye in the room. No one could believe it. Luke shoved his way through the small crowd to the side where Quinn and Trevor were and sat down on the edge of your bed. You looked at Quinn, and with that one look he knew that your big sister mode was kicking in. He let go of your hand and you reached out to Luke, who gripped on with both of his hands.

“I’m here,” you said softly. “I’m okay. Okay? I’m not leaving you.”

“You–” Luke got too choked up.

“I know, come here,” you said. “Lay your head down on my chest. Trevor did it last night, it doesn’t hurt.”

Luke was taller and lankier than Trevor, but with Trevor and you guiding him, he got settled. You took some deep breaths and told him to feel your heartbeat, just as you did for Trevor.

“See? My heart’s beating now. I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere,” you whispered as you ran your fingers through his curls.

“Promise?” Luke squeaked. He was crying and it broke your heart.

“I promise.”

You couldn’t fight being asleep anymore, and everyone could tell.

“Luke, let’s get off of Sissy so that she can sleep,” Jim said.

You shook your head, “He’s fine. Trevor did it last night. I’m okay.”

And with that, the drugs pulled you under.

– – –

Luke was letting silent tears fall, “Trevor?”

“Yeah, bud?”

“You sure she’s okay?”

“She’s okay,” he assured him.

“Then why do you have an IV again?” Jamie asked him.

Of course Jamie would be the first one to notice. Or the first one to call him out at the very least.

“I uh… they made me step out of the room while they were doing tests and the thing attached to her finger that reads her heartbeat got knocked off. I lost it when I heard the flatline again and couldn’t see her, so I got sedated again,” Trevor explained. “It wasn’t real, it was just…”

“You’re going to be going through this a lot, aren’t you?” Jamie asked him. Trevor sighed and nodded, “Probably.”

Jamie walked over and put his arm around his friend, a simple motion that let Trevor know that that was okay. That they’d get through this together. Not just between everyone, but them specifically. They live together. They’ll be the ones majorly helping Y/N when she’s released from the hospital. Jamie will be the one with him when they have to go on their first away game. Jamie and Trevor will be each other’s rocks.

“You doing alright, Lukey?” Jack asked his brother.

“She’s here,” was all he said.

Quinn patted his back in an attempt to comfort him, “She sure is, Lukey.”

“Mom? Can you go talk to a nurse to get some updates?” Jack asked. She smiled and told the pack of boys that she’d be right back.

The weight of the world fell off everybody’s shoulders. Seeing her awake and hearing her speak was a marvel of a sight. Not a soul in the room could believe it. Not a soul in the room didn’t feel relief.

Ellen came back with a nurse who could update the room on Sissy.

“Everything is looking good for her. Her vitals are great, and we’re keeping her on high, but safe, levels of pain medication. That’s why she’s in and out of consciousness. And all of the medication that affected her from waking up from the anesthesia is out of her system, so she’ll be just fine when it’s time for her shoulder surgery,” she said.

“Woah, woah, woah– next surgery?!” Trevor shouted. “She almost died after your last one and you want to put her under again?!”

Trevor felt like he couldn’t breathe again. He almost lost you to a surgery that was supposed to be no big deal, and they wanted to do it to you again?

“Z, breathe,” Jamie said to him, but Trevor yanked his arm away from his touch.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” Trevor repeated. He was slowly backing up against the wall.

“Trevor,” Quinn tried. He wanted to calm him down, but him freaking out was freaking him out, too. Everyone almost lost you. Not just him. “I don’t like the idea either, but she needs this surgery. You don’t want her to be in pain, do you?”

Quin was treating him like a child, but Trevor was looking like he was close to another freak out.

“Z, we can’t sedate you every time you’re feeling like this. You need to learn how to get through this so that you can do it at home. Now, look at me, and breathe with me, okay?”

It took a few tries for Trevor to actually get it together, but he was still crying.

“I don’t want her to be in pain. I love her, but I can’t lose her,” Trevor said.

Quinn nodded and brought him into a hug, “I know. Us, too.”

Since Quinn was able to calm Trevor down, he asked for the IV to be removed since it had drained out anyway. Trevor was exhausted and Ellen told him to go lay down again in the recliner. Luke remained attached to Sissy and was slowly drifting off, too.

“Is anyone not scared about Sissy going in for another surgery?” Jack asked, keeping his voice down for Luke and Trevor.

“I’m trying to focus on the fact that she needs it,” Jamie answered.

The consensus was clear, everyone had at least a sliver of concern for the possibility for things to go wrong. Jim and Ellen remained strong and comforted the boys with the fact that the doctors now know what to use for her so that she wakes up safely and in a reasonable amount of time this round. But even they were worried for the girl that has become their only daughter.

“Remember when we first all played against each other when I was in college?” Quinn piped up, looking for any means to distract himself.

“She wore a shirt that said ‘I just hope both teams have fun!’ How could I forget?” Cole laughed.

“I’m just glad she doesn’t do that now,” Jack said. “Although, for once I’d like her to wear my jersey when we play against the Canucks or Ducks!”

“That’s not going to happen and you know it,” Alex teased him.

“She wears your jersey when we play against you,” Cole offered.

“Yeah, but she wears mine whenever we play against any of you,” Matthew smirked. “Except against Quinn or Trevor. Then it’s theirs.”

“What does she wear when we play against the Canucks?” Jamie asked.

“Z and I have to play air hockey to decide it,” Quinn told them, sending everyone into a fit of laughter. “But she might add you into the mix.”

“She’s something else,” Jamie said.

“You have no idea, Jamie. She’ll get worse,” Jack told him. “But it’ll only make you love her more.”

“Now that, I believe.”

– – –

You woke up to the muffled sounds of your friends talking and laughing. It brought a smile to your face that now that you were awake, your friends could relax a bit. You just hope it sticks.

What is sticking, however, is the dull pain. A dull pain that’s growing. You never tell Luke to let go or to go away if he needs you, but it was too much right now. You felt extra guilty because you were pretty sure that he was still asleep.

“Quintin,” you said. Your voice was strained and so quiet that you weren’t sure that he heard you. You tried again, but when you did the dryness of your throat made you cough, which just added to the pain and you cried out. That got everyone’s attention. “Quintin, I need you to get Luke off me, it’s starting to hurt.”

You were visibly in discomfort, and trying to move was not your friend. Ellen stepped in and eased you while Quinn carefully woke up Luke.

“It really hurts, mom,” you whimpered. She gave you a sad smile and brushed back your hair, “I know, Sissy. It’ll pass. Quinn’s waking him up.”

Luke felt tremendously guilty, and it took you multiple times to assure him that he was completely fine before the pain medications slowly started to wear off. And because you were on such high doses, it wasn’t time for you to safely have another round. So you had to wait.

“Can I get you anything, little mouse?”

You looked over and smiled at Matthew over the nickname, “Water?”

Matthew got up to find you some water, and you looked around the room to try and get a gauge of everyone’s emotions. You were pretty good at reading your friends and family, but the one who stuck out the most to you was Alex.

“Turc? Do you need a moment alone?”

“What?” he asked, caught off guard. “No, I’m fine…I’m–”

“Hey, can I get a second with Alex?” you asked the room. You could tell Alex was embarrassed, but no one else said anything as they left. “Come here.”

Alex got up and moved to the chair that was right next to you. You grabbed his hand and smiled at him in an effort to let him know that it was okay.

“You need another surgery,” he blurted out.

“That’s not all of it and you know it,” you said. You knew him too well.

Alex sighed and bounced his leg, trying to calm down enough to actually tell you what was on his mind.

“Yesterday when you were still in the coma, I couldn’t come talk to you alone. Everyone else did it days before. Yesterday Cole and Matthew did, but I couldn’t. It felt like I would be saying goodbye to you, and I didn’t want to face that,” he admitted.

“So tell me what you would’ve said.”

Alex took a deep breath, “I would’ve told you how much I miss you. And that you mean the world to me and have ever since high school. I would’ve told you that the first time I met you, and I saw how you and Trevor were acting, I knew you were going to be in my life forever because you two are perfect for each other and I knew it before he admitted his feelings to us. I would’ve told you how much I love you. How much I was trying to keep it together but was slowly failing to. And I think I would’ve told you goodbye just in case you flatlined again in the middle of the night and I wouldn’t get a chance to.”

You squeezed his hand when you noticed his tears, “Good thing you get to say hello then.”

“Hello,” he breathed out a small, forced laugh.

“Hi,” you said right back. “You’ll be okay. I’m okay. We’ll all get through this together, alright? And I love you, too.”

– – –

It wasn’t fun hearing what everyone else told you while you were in a coma, but you felt like it needed to be done. Maybe it shouldn’t be your job to help everyone, but you would get the help you’ll need in return. It broke your heart hearing that Luke couldn’t figure out how to be the strong one like everyone was telling him to. It broke your heart hearing that Jack was trying to hold it together for everyone and that he was terrified of having to go back to Jersey before you woke up. How Jamie felt guilty for being one of the reasons you were in the car in the first place. How Quinn was losing his mind and felt so defeated when you squeezed his hand and he learned it was nothing. How Matty was sent here by his coach because he wasn’t playing well. How Cole told you that his life changed forever when you came into it and that his break was hard because he held it in.

Trevor broke your heart the most. It broke you that he was plagued by nightmares when he was only sleeping because he knew you’d want him to. It broke your heart that he went catatonic for a few hours. It broke your heart that he watched your heart flat line. It broke your heart how guilty he felt. You couldn’t bear the thought of your forever getting cut short with him. Trevor almost had to experience that.

You didn’t get much time to be with everyone as a group before a nurse and a doctor came in and asked for everyone but “your emergency contacts” to leave. That meant that only Trevor and your parents could stay in the room.

The doctor began to go over your next surgery with you for your shoulder. It was a shoulder replacement surgery, and you didn’t really pay attention to any of the details. All you knew was that the fractures were bad enough to need it, and that it was scheduled for tomorrow at 1pm.

You just woke up from a roughly two day coma post a surgery and now they wanted to put you under again? And they were just going to hope that if they used different sedatives and started the treatment they used to wake you up immediately it would be okay?

You felt terrified. But you knew everyone else did, too. Probably more than you were, since they were the ones that had to sit idly by while you were unconscious.

You held all your fears in.

For Ellen.

For Jim.

For Jack.

For Cole.

For Alex.

For Matty.

For Jamie.

For Luke.

For Quinn.

For Trevor.

For Trevor. For Trevor. For Trevor.

You could do anything for Trevor, and this will just have to be one of those things.

“Are you okay?” he asked you. He sat on the edge of your bed and held your hand, rubbing circles with his thumb on it. “Do you need a minute before we let everyone else back in?”

You shook your head, “No, I’m alright.”

Trevor eyed you suspiciously, “Don’t lie to me, sweet girl.”

“I’ll be okay, and having everyone in here will help,” you told him. It wasn’t a lie. You will be okay, eventually. And everyone in this small little room will be a lovely distraction. Your surgery isn’t until tomorrow, so all you had to do was make it through the day.

“Sissy, I got someone who wants to talk to you,” Luke said smiling as he came back in.

“Who?” you asked, smiling back. Luke said nothing and just handed you his phone. “Duker!”

“Hey, Sissy, how are you? I’ve been worried sick,” Dylan said.

“I can definitely say I physically haven’t been worse,” you told him.

“That’s the most Y/N answer I’ve ever heard,” he laughed. “Glad the coma didn’t change you!”

“It’s gonna take a hell of a lot more than that to change me,” you assured him. And the rest of the room. And yourself.

Mainly yourself. Lord knows you needed it.

“I’m coming tomorrow, okay? I know you miss me!”

“I really do,” you laughed. “Be good, Duker.”

“I think I can make that promise for once,” he joked.

You were getting tired again after finally being given more pain medication. You made grabby hands towards Quinn and motioned for him to lay next to you like Trevor did before visiting hours started.

“Are you sure this doesn’t hurt?” Quinn asked as he cautiously laid down next to you.

“You’re just next to me, Quintin. I promise you, it’s okay,” you told him.

You kept motioning for him to come closer to you until you could comfortably lay your head against his shoulder.

“You haven’t called me Quintin in a while,” he said low. “Not much since you left middle school.”

“Middle school was hard,” you mumbled sleepily. “This is hard.”

Quinn turned his head and kissed your temple, “Quintin it is.”

– – –

Jamie cautiously stepped towards the bed when he knew that Y/N was asleep. He slowly sat down in the chair closest to the head of her bed, right next to Quinn.

“Can I?” Jamie asked him. He took her hand in his when he nodded yes. “I know I haven’t known her as long–”

“That doesn’t matter to her,” Quinn cut him off. “The day she met you, she called me and said I should be worried about you taking my place as her best friend. Sissy loves you, and she knows that you love her. She doesn’t care that you met what, three months ago? She loves everyone fiercely, and you’ve been deemed lucky enough to make that list.”

Trevor got up and placed his hands on Jamie’s shoulders, squeezing them supportively, “It was her idea to move you in.”

“Really?”

“She probably would’ve moved your stuff out from Lindholm’s with or without your permission,” he laughed.

“I’ve even heard about you from her,” Matthew told Jamie. “You’re here for her. You’re going to be one half of the two people taking care of her most of the time. And trust me, she cares about you. As long as you never wrong her, she’s going to be there for you for life.”

Jamie looked down and tried to hide a smile as he played with her fingers. He didn’t know what it was about her, but the second she met somebody, they loved her. Her charm, her humor, her boldness. Sissy is something special. And when she lets you in, truly lets you in, she makes sure you know you’re loved and that she would drop everything for you if you need her.

She loves being needed.

She loves being wanted.

Not everyone knew that this was killing her. Not everyone knew that her needing help and barely being able to do a thing for anyone else was going to be detrimental for her. But Jamie does. He hasn’t known her long, but he knows her. He knows that he might need to act like he needs her for something, even if he doesn’t, just to make her happy.

Jamie would do it for her. He will do it for her. Because everyone was right, once you know her, she’d drop anything for you, and he intends to do the same thing for her.

“Is she scared, Z?” Cole asked. Trevor pursed his lips. He didn’t want to expose her, but he was a terrible liar.

“She won’t tell me, but I saw the look in her eyes. I could feel her fear. I asked if she needed a moment and she told me that she’s fine and everyone back in the room would be a good distraction, but I know she’s petrified.”

“That’s a big word, Mr. Boston,” Quinn teased him. Trevor rolled his eyes and flicked him, not being able to do anything else since Y/N was laying against his shoulder. “She has you, Z. You’ll get her through it.”

“She has you, too. She has all of us,” Trevor added.

“And we have her,” Luke said. He still looked scared.

Jack threw his arm around his little brother, “And we have her.”

— — —

Today’s the day.

Today’s the day you have to go under for another surgery.

And everyone had the same fear. For some, it was slight. For others it was more than slight, but they know she needs the surgery. But the rest? The fear had taken over their entire being. And who are they? Trevor, Quinn, Jack, Luke, and you. They were internally losing their minds. They felt sick. And every tick of the clock made their chests feel tighter and tighter.

Trevor hasn’t done well with you out of his sight and he knows it’s going to be worse this time. He’s determined to not have to be sedated. He’s going to have away games. He’s going to have roadies. He’s going to have to learn how to cope. He can’t be eased into it. You’re going to be gone for hours, and he’ll have to sit by your bedside and wait for you to wake up again. He knows you’ll wake up, but that quiet voice deep inside his head telling him that you won’t is eating him alive.

Quinn had taken over the “Sissy” role. Jack had practically snapped, Luke was a mess and was dead silent when he wasn’t, Trevor couldn’t breathe half the time, and you need him, too. He’s the oldest. He feels like it’s his job. He’s always stepped up. He’s always been the big brother. He’s always done whatever he can and more for you. There’s just no one helping him.

Jack feels like he’s useless. He can’t do anything for you, and he’s going to have to go back to Jersey eventually. Scratch that— he’s going to have to go back soon and he won’t get to help you. He feels like you don’t need him when you have Quinn. You always need him. He’s your best friend, your better half, you’re everything to each other. You won’t need him when you have Trevor. Your boyfriend, your entire world. The person you live with. The person who needs you just as bad as you need him. The person you’ll get through this with. The person who’ll be there for you the entire time. Hell, you won’t need him when you have Jamie. You love him, and you barely know him. And he’s going to be with you the whole time. He doesn’t have to leave.

Luke could barely wrap his head around it. Everything was going too fast and he could barely keep up. He just got you, his sister, back and in a few hours he was going to have to go back to wondering when you’re going to wake up. He couldn’t hold on to your hand. He couldn’t fall asleep on you. He felt like he couldn’t be vulnerable. Not when everyone else is screaming, too. He just told his best friend that you’re going to be okay. He just told his best friend that he’s okay. One of those is a lie. The other one could be, too, only he doesn’t know that answer, yet.

And you? You don’t know that’s how everyone is feeling, because you can’t think of anything else other than your intense fear of not waking up. You couldn’t escape the cage the thought of dying was putting you in. You need this surgery. You need to get better. You know the doctors are prepared this time. You know that your medication has more or less left your system and that everything should be okay. But you don’t want to see everyone’s faces when you wake up again. Full of shock, almost as if they were seeing a ghost. And you know that a couple days after this surgery, you’ll be released. Which means everyone will have to leave you again. You’ve never had to experience anything this traumatic without your brothers. Never. You didn’t want them to go most of all. You’re beyond grateful that you’ll have Trevor, and Jamie told you he won’t be leaving you, but you need your brothers. Facetimes won’t be enough this time.

You were pulled out from your thought prison by a nurse informing you it was almost time for surgery and that everyone will need to clear out so that they can prep you. Everyone said their goodbyes, some longer than others, and Jack was the last one walking out the door. The heart monitor signaled that panic was taking over you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“Jack!” you screamed. Tears were streaming down your face and your free hand was shaking. “Jack don’t–”

Jack pushed aside the nurse in the room and sat on the edge of your bed and gripped onto your hand.

“Sir–”

“She just needs a minute! Please,” Jack begged her. The nurse saw how close you were to a major freakout before Jack got to your side and left to stand outside the door. Jack took your hand in both of his and squeezed it tight, “It’ll be okay, Sissy. It will be. We all asked the surgeon every question possible. He’s done this surgery countless times.”

“Will you be here when I wake up?” you asked shakily. “Right here. Holding my hand. Not Trevor or Quinn. You.”

Jack smiled and leaned over to kiss your forehead, “In the chair, or on the bed?”

“On the bed,” you answered.

“Then on the bed holding your hand is where I’ll be the second you open your eyes, Sissy,” Jack assured you. “I promise. Now you gotta be strong for us. Don’t fight the lovely nurses and doctors and surgeons that are here to help you. Just breathe, and now I’ll be sitting right here when it’s over.”

The nurses that came to wheel you off to the surgery unit told Jack he could walk with you until you reached the double doors, so he did. He held onto your hand and called out once again that he’ll be right next to you when you wake up when the doors came. You held back your tears. You wanted to be able to tell Jack that you were strong.

– – –

“Where did you go?” Luke asked Jack when he finally joined them in the waiting room.

“Sissy called out for me, so I calmed her down and walked with her to the surgical unit,” he explained. “I don’t know why–”

“She loves and needs you, too, Jack,” Ellen interrupted her son. “Just like everyone else.”

Jack smiled slightly, semi hating the fact that his mom knew exactly how he was feeling.

“She asked me to be sitting on her bed holding her hand when she wakes up,” he said softly, still happy that she wanted him. That she needed him.

“I’m only allowing that because she asked,” Trevor teased him.

“Of course you are, bud,” Jack laughed.

Jack sat down between his brothers and leaned back in his chair. All that there was to do now was wait. Something that was way too familiar to everyone here.

– – –

It was a long surgery, over four hours. But Jack was true to his word and parked himself on the edge of your bed and held your hand as he waited for you to come to. Every minute passed was agonizing. The doctors told everyone that you’d be waking up within an hour but that you’ll be very out of it and might not be awake for long. At the forty-six minute mark, everyone let out a breath.

Your groans caused all ten heads to snap towards you. Jack inched closer to you and used his free hand to pet your hair in the same way he used to do when he had to wake you up for school when you were sleeping through your endless alarms.

“Sissy?” he whispered. “Are you with us? Can you open your eyes for me?”

You tried to pull away from him but felt a surge of pain when you did. Jack worked to settle you back down and looked to Trevor for help.

“I normally kiss her to wake her up,” Trevor told him. “She calls it ‘waking up Disney princess style.’”

“Be my guest,” Jack laughed.

Trevor softly placed his hand to cup your face and bent down to softly kiss you, “Good morning, sweet girl. Can you open those pretty little eyes for me?”

You clenched your eyes once more before opening them up.

“Are you a Prince?” you asked dreamily. Luke had to hide into his mom’s shoulder to keep from laughing out loud.

“Sorry, sweet girl. I’m just your boyfriend,” Trevor replied.

You looked down when you noticed a hand was holding your hand. You followed the hand to the owner, and it was not the man who just told you he’s your boyfriend.

“Then who are you?” you asked the hand holder.

“I’m Jack, your brother. You asked me to sit on your bed and hold your hand for when you woke up,” the hand holder told you.

“I don’t have a brother,” you said, shaking your head.

Jack’s grip on your hand tightened and you could feel his fear.

“You– you don’t?” he asked tentatively. He was worried that the drugs had temporarily taken your mind back to before you moved in. Before you were old enough to know that family doesn’t have to be blood.

“No. I’m a cloud, I can’t have any brothers,” you said seriously.

“But you can have a boyfriend?” your boyfriend asked.

“You’re a cloud, too,” you told him. “You have fluffy cloud hair, Prince.”

“Trevor,” he told you with a soft laugh.

“No,” you shook your head. “I’m pretty sure your name is Prince. Prince of the clouds. And I’m Princess of the clouds.”

“Clouds can have brothers,” Jack insisted. “You have three.”

Jack was starting to make sense. As you looked around the room at everyone else in the room, you saw two familiar faces that matched Jack’s story.

“I do have three!” you gasped. “Quintin, Jacky Boy, and Lukey Moosey!”

Jack lifted your hand and leaned his head against it, shaking his head and laughing, “I’m Jacky Boy, Sissy. Look at me.”

You looked at him again and really focused this time, “Jacky Boy! I missed you!”

“I missed you, too,” he laughed.

You looked around the room and your smile grew exponentially at every person you saw. You couldn’t believe your whole world was here.

“Hi Mom, and Dad, and Coley, and Turcs, and Quintin, and Lukey Moosey, and Jamie Baby, and my rat! Matty! You’re here! You’re never here!”

Matthew moved over to the end of your bed and placed both hands on the edge of it, “I was worried about you, Little Mouse. That’s why we’re all here.”

Quinn came over next to Jack and Trevor, “You got hurt, remember? You just had another surgery.”

“No, Quintin,” you argued. “I’m a cloud. I can’t get hurt.”

“Well then you’re a medical marvel,” he said. “Because you got super hurt. Are you in pain?”

“Quintin, listen! I just told you, I’m a cloud. And Prince is a cloud. And Coley. I don’t know what the rest of you are, but we’re clouds.”

“What type of clouds are we?” Cole asked you.

“You and Prince look sad, so you’re nimbostratus clouds. But me? I’m a cumulus,” you told them, full of confidence.

“Did she just… use scientific cloud names?” Alex asked, laughing in disbelief.

“I think she did,” Luke said.

“We look sad because you’re hurt, Ms. Cumulus Cloud,” Trevor said. “But I’m really glad you don’t feel it.”

“I’m just doing my cloud thing,” you said as you yawned.

“Sleepy?” Ellen asked.

“Yeah, I’m a sleepy cloud,” you nodded. “But Jacky Boy needs to lay next to me so I can nap.”

“And why’s that?” Jack asked.

“You’re holding my hand. You need me. So you need to sleep next to me to fix that,” you said matter-of-factly.

Trevor and Quinn stepped out of the way so that Jack could carefully lay beside you.

“I’ll protect you,” you told him. “I need everyone to give me a kiss goodnight! Do you need any, Jacky?”

“I think I’m alright,” he smiled.

Jack leaned over and kissed your cheek. You smiled and nodded your head side to side in a dance-like motion as you made everyone else kiss your cheeks and forehead goodnight.

“And you, my Prince, need to kiss me on the lips four times,” you told him. “Because we say something to each other with four words. I don’t know what, but I know there’s four words.”

“I–” kiss. “Love–” kiss. “You–” kiss. “Forever.” kiss.

“What do I say?”

“You say ‘I love you, always,’” he smiled at you.

“I love you, always, Prince!”

“I love you, forever, Princess.”

– – –

The second time you woke up, you were much more lucid and aware of the situation. You weren’t in agony, but you weren’t exactly having fun. You lifted your head off of whoever’s shoulder you were laying on and groaned at the brightness of the room.

“Somebody needs to turn off the sun or I’m going to shoot it down myself,” you grunted with your eyes squeezed shut.

You didn’t know who, but someone fixed your problem, and you were able to slowly open your eyes. You looked out to see the window’s curtains were open and that it was actually dark outside.

One new face was in the room, Dylan.

You smiled at him, “Hi, baby boy.”

“I was kind of hoping I could see you shoot down the sun, but seeing you awake works, too, Sissy,” Dylan joked.

“Are you still a cloud, Princess?” Trevor asked you.

You turned your head to look at him, also acknowledging the fact that it was Jack next to you by a simple squeeze of his hand, confused.

“Cloud?”

“You were still out of it when you first woke up,” Trevor laughed. “You called me Prince, and you were hellbent on the fact that you were a cloud and that you couldn’t possibly be injured because of it.”

“Were we… all clouds?”

“I wish,” Quinn joked. “Only Z and Cole were clouds. Nimbostratus, to be exact. Not sure why you remembered the types of clouds.”

“Clouds are fucking cool, that’s why,” you sassed him.

“You’re lucky you’re hurt,” Quinn said in a jokingly warning tone.

“Or what? You’d lightly shove me? I’m so scared,” you teased him back. “You’re just jealous because I didn’t deem you a cloud. Suck it.”

It was nice finally feeling calm for the first time since you woke up. No one was terrified about the upcoming surgery now that it’s happened. No one was worried that you wouldn’t wake up again now that you have. It was almost fun being with everyone, it was just calmer than it normally is when you’re all together.

You shoved Jack aside so that Dylan could lay next to you because “you’ve missed your baby boy.”

“I’m your twin!” Jack protested.

“You’ve been laying with me,” you told him. “I’ve gone without seeing Duker longer and he’s my baby boy bestie brother!”

“I’m her alliteration,” Dylan said, smiling cheekily.

“Yeah, he’s my alliteration,” you copied his grin.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Jack countered.

“You’re just jealous,” Dylan stuck his tongue out at him.

“Alright, alright,” you cut them off. “You’re both my boys, so calm down. You’ve had your turn.”

“Do we all get a turn?” Luke asked jokingly.

“Do we have to reserve times?” Jamie asked, laughing.

“You and Z will get me all season, but the rest of them? Yes. Someone make a list and play rock paper scissors for the order.”

“You’re a mess,” Trevor laughed. “My beautiful mess.”

“Damn right,” you jokingly smirked.

– – –

It wasn’t too long before visiting hours ended and you had to tell everyone goodbye. Trevor now had a bigger blanket for you two in the bed since you’d been cold and he wasted no time crawling in next to you when Quinn (the last one on the list to be next to you) got off the bed.

“Be good!” Quinn called out.

“We physically have to! Otherwise we would not!” you shouted back.

“I didn’t want to know that!”

“You’re welcome! I love you, bubs!”

“I love you, too, Sissy!”

“I’ll never understand you two,” Trevor laughed.

“Quinn and I are something I’ve never seen before. Not even in movies,” you said fondly. “I’m gonna keep it that way.”

“Are we?”

“My love, we’re everything.”

Trevor took your hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to it. When he dropped it, you tapped four times on your lips. Trevor smiled and repeated what he did when you first woke up.

“I–” kiss. “Love–” kiss. “You–” kiss. “Forever–” kiss.

“I love you, always,” you whispered to him. “How did you do while I was under?”

“Jamie helped a lot. I don’t know why watching The Hunger Games helps, but it does,” Trevor admitted.

“Because it’s my favorite series, obviously,” you smiled.

“No, I think it’s because there’s a lot of Katniss in you,” he told you. “You’d do anything for those you love, especially your brothers. You stick up for what’s right. You’ve been through hell and you’re still surviving. You’re Katniss.”

You blushed and played with his fingers, unsure of what to say to that.

“Does that make you Peeta?”

“I was thinking I’m more like Finnick,” Trevor laughed.

“Well, he was my first love. So, I guess that’s fitting.”

“Your first love?” Trevor teased you. “Am I nothing to you?”

“Hey! Quinn officiated a wedding for me and Finnick!”

“Then I guess he’ll have to officiate ours,” Trevor smiled.

“Trevor Zegras, are you talking about marriage in a hospital?”

“Not right now, but if this experience has taught me anything, it’s that you’re the one.”

“Sap,” you smiled.

You were beat, and surprised that you’d stayed awake for so long with all the pain medication in you. But now that it was only Trevor with you, you felt safe. You felt at peace. You felt at home. You laid your head on his shoulder and let yourself drift off to the sounds of Catching Fire in the background. You weren’t scared to fall asleep tonight. You weren’t scared that something was going to happen to Trevor. For the first time in three days, you felt good.

– – –

At 9:34am, all of your paperwork was finished and you were free to go home. You, Jamie, Trevor, Ellen, and Jim were all given a breakdown of how to take care of you, pain medication times, and other stuff like that. Jim and Ellen would be staying a little longer with you in the beginning before they’ll have to go back home. Trevor and Jamie would be the ones doing it the most after your parents left, and they needed to be fully prepared to teach Dani when she’d come to help you on roadies. Ellen volunteered, but Dani was quite persistent.

You were sent off with some strong sedatives to help with the car ride home. You were glad, too, because even with them you were still in some major discomfort. You couldn’t imagine what it would be like without them.

Everyone was staying one more night before they had to go back to their own teams. You really didn’t want to have to be moved much, so Trevor and Quinn got you situated in yours and Trevor’s room and everyone would be in there until you decided it was time for bed.

First thing first, however, was a nap. The medication had made you so tired and you couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore. You had to lay pillows in between you and Trevor, which was terrible, but you could lay directly next to him while you napped since he would be staying awake. Everyone else went to the living room while Trevor gently held your hand and kissed your forehead to send you off to sleep.

– – –

Quinn didn’t wait too long before slipping back into the bedroom, “How’s she doing?”

“She hasn’t had to have the lower pain medications yet, so she's okay,” Trevor told him. “I’m not excited about that.”

“I’m not excited about leaving her,” Quinn said softly.

“Trust me, she isn’t either.”

The two boys talked quietly for a while to distract themselves from the predicament. Trevor couldn’t imagine what Quinn must be feeling. Trevor gets to stay with you; Quinn doesn’t. That’s been a common feeling throughout all of this.

“You’ll take care of her, right?” Quinn asked Trevor with tears threatening to fall out of his eyes.

“I’ll do everything I can and more for her. Always,” Trevor assured him.

“You better,” Quinn said softly.

All Quinn could do was look at you. Your bruised face looked better, but you still looked so frail and small that it hurt him. He had to make tonight and tomorrow count, but he knew that you’d be sleeping through a lot of it.

“Um… listen, if Luke needs her, she will kick you out of this bed. Same if she needs me or Jack or Luke or–”

“You can sleep next to her until you have to leave,” Trevor cut him off. “I know that’s what you really want. I’ll take the floor.”

You roughly heard the last of their conversation as you were slowly waking up, “Did you say Lukey needs me? Trevor, move your ass for him.”

“See?” Quinn laughed. “He doesn’t need you, but I’m sure he’d love to lay with you. Do you want everyone back in here?”

You sleepily nodded and continuously held your arm out until Luke came in.

“Lukey!” you cheered when he entered the room at the end of the herd of your loved ones. Luke laughed as he crawled into the bed and snuggled up close to you, “Good nap, Sissy?”

“Very,” you said.

“Oh! I want in on cuddles!” Dylan shouted. You laughed even more as he settled next to Luke and laid his head on his shoulder.

“You two are a mess,” you shook your head. “I love it.”

“This gonna be us when everyone leaves, Z?” Jamie joked.

“It better be!” you exclaimed.

Because you’d been in a coma for your weekly movie night with Cole and Alex, you decided that you’d watch the movie with everyone in your room. Blankets and pillows were handed out and people were all around the room. Jack and Jamie brought in the two arm chairs from the living room for Jim and Ellen to sit in, and everyone else was roughing it on the floor.

You sent Matty, Quinn, and Cole to get snacks and drinks for everyone, and Alex set the movie up.

“What movie have you deemed worthy enough to watch that’s not The Hunger Games, girly?”

“Top Gun,” you said with a grin.

“Yes! Finally!” Trevor cheered.

You barely watched the movie. You watched your friends and family instead. This experience is just as hard on them as for you, if not more. They deserve peace. They deserve a moment of calm, a moment of happiness. Before they all had to leave and, undoubtedly, worry.

“You okay?” Luke whispered to you.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you whispered back.

And for once, you were.

– – –

The goodbyes were hard, because they lasted all day. First Matty left, then Cole, then Dylan and Luke, then Jack, then Alex. Alex could’ve stayed, and he’ll be back frequently, but Quinn leaving last meant a lot to you. It was needed.

“You’ll call every day, right?” you asked him. Your lip was wobbling and you couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

“Every minute that I can. I promise,” Quinn answered. “Be good to Trevor and Jamie.”

“Now that, I can’t promise,” you tried to joke.

Quinn kissed your forehead and squeezed your hand one last time before he left with your parents to go to the airport. You immediately started to sob when the door closed. You couldn’t hold it in any longer. You’d been crying all day as people left, but Quinn made you lose it. Trevor hated it because he couldn’t pull you into his arms and hold you to comfort you. You hated it for the same reason. You had to settle for leaning against his chest with his hand holding your right, and his other petting your hair.

“It’s alright, sweet girl,” Trevor cooed. “He’ll be back soon. We play against the Canucks the first week of November. I know his coach will let him stay here instead of at the hotel. It’s gonna be alright.”

“Say it,” you cried.

“Say what?” he asked, confused. “I love you?”

“No, my name. Say it,” you choked out.

Trevor felt a pang in his heart. This has never happened. You never needed Quinn so much that you wanted Trevor to call you by your nickname.

“It’s gonna be alright, Sissy. I’ll make sure of it,” Trevor said low. “I promise.”

“Do you need anything?” Jamie asked you warily. He’d never seen you cry this hard.

You rapidly shook your head no as you clung to Trevor as much as you could.

“Some ice water,” Trevor said. “With a straw, please.”

Jamie got up and went to the kitchen while Trevor continued to try and sooth you. Jamie was back quick and Trevor gently guided the straw to your mouth.

“Drink for me, sweet girl. That’s all you gotta do.”

The ice always helps. The sudden coldness triggers some slight pain receptors to pull you out of a panicked state, so it was a quick fix when you weren’t too far gone.

“There’s my girl,” Trevor cooed. “It’s okay.”

You calmed down, but some tears were still falling.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffled.

“What for?”

“I need you, too. Not just Quinn. I really need you and I don’t want you to think that I–”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Trevor interrupted. “I know you do. Quinn’s been with you for the hardest parts of your life. You always cry when he leaves. This isn’t any different. I love you, okay? Forever. You needing Quinn isn’t going to change that.”

“I love you, always,” you whispered.

You were worn out and were falling asleep against Trevor’s chest.

“Jamie Baby,” you weakly called out. “Come to bed. It’s nap time.”

Jamie smiled and slowly got into the bed next to Trevor. He leaned over and kissed your forehead, something you once again demanded, before laying against the pillows.

“I love you, Jamie Baby,” you said. “So, so much.”

“I love you, too, Y/N/N,” Jamie said back.

“And I love you, too, Trevy. Always.”

Trevor tilted your head towards him, “I–” kiss. “Love–” kiss. “You–” kiss. “Forever–” kiss.

———

reblogs appreciated! it helps spread the fic <3

[forhereyesonlyyy]

cupid’s work. — a jang wonyoung x reader short.

word count: 1.9k

author’s note: trying something new! a lot of the things in my drafts are super long, so i wanted to try my hand at writing a short that is actually short (and very vague) where i’m less strict with spelling and grammar and all that jazz and just try to vibe, ha. anyway, i hope you enjoy this~ if i see that you guys like this enough i might make a cute little continuation too <33

author's note 2.0: YA'LL... tumblr is becoming my worst enemy idk why the order of the paragraphs(?????) is getting jumbled up PLS BEAR WITH IT 😭😭

warnings: none.

sometimes you wondered if you were extremely lucky, or horrifyingly unfortunate.

when your managers had told you and your group that you would be filming a variety show with another girl group, you were overjoyed. you have always wanted to make friends with your colleagues, but have been too shy to do so. jayoon was more fit for that kind of thing; socializing. but you thought that you would finally try to come out of your shell in this variety show by making the first move on whoever the other girls may be, until you were told of them.

“ive.”

you didn’t miss the way chaeyoung and sieun gave you a sideways glance at the mention of the popular group. while jayoon and seeun shared a high five, and yeeun and sumin nodded excitedly, you were sinking into your seat.

“what, (y/n)? not happy with the other group?” your manager asked, noticing the distraught look on your face.

you perked up, “i am!”

“i bet you are.” jayoon teased. you kicked her leg under the table, but she only laughed.

your managers decided that it was better not to know whatever it was that bothered you, and had concluded the meeting right after they dropped the date when the groups will meet up for further discussions about the show. nobody talked for the first few minutes after the meeting ended, but when you saw chaeyoung smiling at you, you knew all of them were going to speak of a certain someone.

“so,” sieun started. you busied yourself with looking at your nails, pretending as if you didn’t know that sieun was talking to you. “i think i speak for everyone when i say that you should shoot your shot during this show.”

“absolutely not,” you replied immediately. “that’s... that will never work out! right, sumin?” it was your futile attempt to pull someone on your side.

much to your dismay, your leader only smiled sheepishly at you, “i agree with sieun. it’s getting a little sad seeing you pine for her from afar.”

“and trust me, we all want to be spared of your awkward greetings and even more awkward small talks in the music show hallways.” seeun added, shaking her head. you scoffed, crossing your arms, but you didn’t find the grit to fight back. it really wasn’t your fault that you get tongue-tied in the presence of the idol of this generation!

“hey, we’ll help you as much as we can. but seriously, have faith in yourself! everything will work out fine! you’ll see in the meeting that we’ll have with them that you two will get along well!” chaeyoung, bless her heart, holds your hand in consolation.

“unless you shit your pants, then i don’t think we’ll be able to help you with that.” jayoon said. you groaned, hiding your face in your hands while chaeyoung scolds jayoon in the background.

seriously, what were you going to do?

~

“i feel like my heart is going to break out of my ribcage and make a run for it.” you paced around the practice room restlessly. it was the day that stayc and ive will have their meeting for the variety show. when the news was announced on the internet, everybody seemed excited for it. what was better than having one girl group in a variety show? two, of course! both fans of the groups were excited for all of the members of be interacting, and your heart warmed at the encouraging comments of you fans, saying that you will finally have your moment to make friends, like you have always said you wanted to do.

“they’ll be here in a sec, girls.” one of the staff said. you heard jayoon and yeeun snickering behind you, but they both patted your back for good luck.

“i’m gonna faint.” you told sieun.

but you weren’t going to lie, it felt like it was the end of the world.

“you’re not gonna faint.”

and then almost immediately, the door swings open and the first face your eyes set on were jang wonyoung’s. she towered above everybody else and in your eyes, she always had that glow around her that made it hard for you to ignore her. and really, it was your big pathetic crush on her that just automatically made you look at her.

chaeyoung, who was genuinely worried that you would pass out, places her arm around your waist and had you bowing towards the other group with her, as well as the rest of your group.

“hi, (y/n)!” rei greeted, grabbing both of your hands and shaking them. you got acquainted with her a long time ago, after bumping into her in a bakery and finding yourselves being completely at peace in each other’s company. ever since that, you’ve been friends, but you hadn’t told her about your infatuation towards her fellow member though.

“hello.” wonyoung greeted you, bowing again. you found your words stuck in your throat, and only bowed back. you avoided looking at her because every time she was around, it was hard to keep yourself together. (which was a shame, because you would’ve seen the slightest look of disappointment on wonyoung’s face when you avoided her eyes.)

once the groups were introduced to each other, the producer of the show, who was a relatively young woman, ushered you all to sit down on the floor with her. you sat in between seeun and rei and about three seats away was wonyoung. you continued to look at everyone else but her.

“oh, (y/n). are you not feeling well today? you look a bit pale.” the producer said.

everyone turns their head towards you, making you flinch. even jayoon seemed genuinely worried. she was afraid that she might have taken her teasing too far and had actually scared you into ignoring your crush. but you frantically shook your head, laughing nervously, “i’m alright!” you told the producer.

seeun puts her hand on your forehead, “you’re not sick, are you?” she asked. 

you gently took her hand and rested your joined hands on your lap, “no, no. i’m fine, really.” you said.

(wonyoung studied you closely. she noticed the way you didn’t know what to do with your hands after seeun lets go of it, the way your eyes darted everywhere, and the way you didn’t look like you were listening at all. she got worried.)

after that, the producer then went on to the details of the show. the groups will be traveling together in popular tourist spots and will occasionally have friendly competition from time to time. the show is mostly about building friendships between idol groups and overall just wholesome content for the groups’ fans. everybody loved it, and you felt genuinely excited about it all.

“speaking of games, there’s no way we can’t not do the lie detector game.” the producer said, a mischievous grin spreading across her lips. the lie detector machine was filled with bullshit, as you have come to know, but every time your members get shocked by it, it was always fun.

plus, it was the only time that you got to do the teasing.

“although we might need to protect anyone who might be weak to being poked fun at,” the producer joked. your members nodded, and of course the producer sees the way jayoon and yeeun looked at you while they giggled. “(y/n), you’re not good with jokes?” the producer asked.

you shook your head, playfully glaring at jayoon and yeeun. “it’s just that you don’t really need a lie detector to find out if she’s being truthful or not.” sumin clarified, which really only made things worse on your end.

the producer laughed, “really? should i try it out then? (y/n)-ah, do you have a crush on someone right now?” well, that was a conveniently timed question. your members laughed, so you couldn’t help but laugh with them while your cheeks inhabited a very deep red color.

rei looks at you with wide eyes, “whoa.” she said. you covered your blushing face and leaned into rei, shaking your head. while your members started teasing you about how big of a trouble you were going to be in once you all play the game, you made eye contact with wonyoung, who had a fond smile on her face, and only blushed harder.

you looked away, but you couldn’t hide your shy grin.

(wonyoung’s heartbeat started racing. no way. her own cheeks started flushing pink. oh, good god.)

when the meeting ended, it only felt like there was the start to a great friendship. you hugged rei goodbye and gave yujin and leeseo a warm side hug (those two talked to you a lot during the meeting, always adding onto your ideas and looking at you attentively as you talked).

“goodbye for now.” wonyoung tells you as she approached the door with her members.

“goodbye—” your mouth clamps shut and your heart drops when wonyoung suddenly squeezed your hand before waving and bowing towards your members. once ive was out the door, you stared at your hand with wide eyes.

“holy shit, (y/n).” seeun, who witnessed the whole moment, said.

you nodded and breathlessly you replied, “holy shit.”

“i’m not the only one who saw that, right?” yujin asked, nudging wonyoung with her elbow. wonyoung has been smiling for a while now. “i can’t believe you’re going to get a girlfriend before i do.” the leader said, sighing.

~

ive was a mess in high up entertainment’s parking lot.

“i knew i wasn’t hallucinating when i saw it!” liz exclaimed, bouncing on her feet. they were, of course, talking about the very brief moment you looked at wonyoung when the producer mentioned crushes.

yujin smirked, “how did you know she was talking about (y/n)?”

“what? (y/n) didn’t even say she was crushing on me! also, that would be ridiculous. i’m just me, and she’s (y/n) of stayc.” wonyoung said, forcing herself to laugh.

gaeul stared at her, simply amazed to see the wonyoung looking so infatuated, “you’re in deep, huh?”

wonyoung paused, and once again, she found herself blushing.

yes. terribly so. jang wonyoung has had the biggest crush on you for... wow, she can’t even say exactly when. but she remembered it as clear as yesterday. being friends with rei, it made sense that you would do everything to support her and her group. so, it didn’t surprise wonyoung when you made a surprise visit during an ive comeback show. what did surprise her was how you had apparently worked hard getting the perfect bouquets for each and every member.

wonyoung found herself feeling completely enchanted by you when you handed her a beautiful bouquet. her heart melted at your words that day too.

“i saw these light pink tulips and thought of you. they’re candid, yes, but they’re very beautiful. i felt like they suit you the best — simple, but that factor is what made them so perfect. a-ah! i hope you don’t take that the wrong way! i-i wasn’t trying to insult you, or anything...”

wonyoung spent the next couple of minutes consoling you that time. those tulips were long gone now, but wonyoung never forgot about your words. ever since then, you have been on her mind, as well as her heart.

her holding your hand for a brief moment was only the start of her attempt to finally tell you of her feelings, which she hoped that you shared.

throughout the ride back to the dorms, wonyoung was smiling quietly in her seat, with only the thought of holding your hand a lot more in the future in her mind.

[kaleldobrev]

Pizza, Beer & Zeppelin IV

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Gn!Reader

Summary: Dean is surprised to find out what your ideal first date is; and he’s more than happy to oblige

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: Some cursing, Talks of Sex (Not explicit in the slightest) 

Authors Note: This is inspired by a quote Jo Harvelle said to Dean in Everybody Loves a Clown from Season 2: “Most hunters come through that door think they can get in my pants with some pizza, a six pack, and side one of Zeppelin IV.” | The writing of this is in a little bit of a different style than some of my previous work. But I hope it came out okay! Let me know what you all think | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

Although you and Dean have been together for the last couple of years, the two of you never had a proper first date. The way the two of you first started dating started out as a traditional friends with benefits story, but without the “starting out as a friends” part.

The two of you had met at a local bar in Lebanon, your date was over an hour late, already drowning your sorrows with shot after shot of tequila. That night, you were ready to make some bad decisions to make yourself feel better.

That is when you eyed Dean Campbell and quickly started chatting him up. He was on his third beer; not nearly as intoxicated as you were, but was humoring you as you gave him cheesy pick-up lines and telling him horror stories about your job. A couple hours later, the two of you made your way in the back of his car, hungerly kissing each other all over, leading to uncomfortable yet satisfying car sex. You never did reach out to your date to reschedule.

A week later, you had spotted him at the bar again, you weren’t as drunk as you previously had been your first meeting. He remembered you, and you were surprised. He asked you if he had left any bruises on you from the week before, and asked if you had anymore horror stories about your job. “I’ll tell you more if you tell me some.” You said.

He chuckled before taking a sip of beer. “You don’t wanna know my stories Sweetheart.” He replied.

That night you slept with him again; this time at your place and not in the backseat of his impala. The next morning the two of you exchanged numbers. “Last name’s really Winchester.” He told you.

“What?” You asked.

“My last name. It’s Winchester, not Campbell.” He said.

“Winchester sounds more fitting.” You gave him a smile.

After exchanging numbers, the two of you never met up at the bar again; always meeting up at your place. You called him, or he called you; sometimes he would just show up at your door with a six pack and some take-out. The sex was great every single time; but it changed as time went on. What had started out as needy, rough, and quick, became slow, gentle, almost loving; not that you minded.

Sometimes when he would come over, the two of you wouldn’t even have sex. You would just hang out on the couch, share a kiss or two, and cuddle. You had even caught him a few times falling asleep as you scratched the back of his head as he rested his head on your shoulder. You liked that he felt comfortable enough to sleep.

The two of you never made anything official, but between the consistency of the sex the two of you would have, mixed with doing “couple things” like him offering to run errands with you, or hanging out at your place to watch a movie, it started to form into something more than just a friends with benefits situation; it started to become a committed relationship.

Slowly, over time, Dean began to open up to you. Open up about all the things he’s done over the years and who he really was. He had told you what his real job was – he was a hunter, someone that killed things people didn’t think were real but actually were. Like vampires, werewolves, ghosts, and ghouls. “I’ve killed them all,” he told you. He told you how he saved the world more than once, how he’s been to Hell and back (literally and figuratively), how he’s gone to Heaven, and even spent a year in Purgatory. “Did you know I killed Hitler once?” His proudest achievement. He’s done things you would have never thought about doing in your dizziest daydreams.

When Dean first told you these things, he expected you to run. Expected you to call the police or call him insane. You weren’t a hunter; he didn’t expect you to believe him. But to his surprise you said, “I believe you” and kissed him. That was your way of telling him that you loved him.

After years of being together the two of you never had a proper first date, but that was something Dean had wanted to for you. Taking out his phone he scrolled until he got to your name and pressed enter. The ringing felt like it had been going on for ages, he always felt nervous talking to you. “Hello my love.” You responded. His lips curved into a smile. He loved when you called him that.

“Hey there Sweetheart. I gotta question for you.” He said, leaning back a bit in his chair.

“Shoot.” You responded.

“I was wondering, would you like to go on a proper first date with me?” He felt like a stupid high schooler asking out his crush.

“A proper first date uh?” You never thought you’d see the day. “What are we going to do on this date?”

“I was hoping you’d tell me. I want you to pick.” He had a million ideas but thought that it would be more special if you picked what the two of you did.

“You’re the one asking me out but I’m the one that has to come up with the date idea? Hmm, I don’t know about that.” You said, hoping your joking tone came through.

“What’s your ideal first date Sweetheart? We can do anything you want.”

“You’re gonna laugh at me.” Your idea of a first date was something no one ever wanted to do.

“Y/N, I’d never laugh at you. Well, I would, and I have. But, not about something as serious as this.” You could hear his smile through the phone. He really was serious about this.

You took a deep breath. “Well. I know this might sound stupid but…I’ve always wanted to eat some pizza with a six pack while listening to side one of Zeppelin four.” Fuck you’re perfect, Dean thought. You waited for Dean to say something, anything, but he didn’t respond. You took his silence for judgement, but in reality, he was just amazed, amazed that this was your ideal first date. “See, I told you it’s stupid.”

“No, no. It’s not stupid at all. It’s…perfect actually. That’s my ideal first date too.” Dean said, being completely serious. He hoped that you didn’t think he was fucking with you. But knowing you, you probably would.

“You’re fucking with me aren’t you?” You respond.

“No Y/N, I swear. You can even ask Sam.” He paused a moment. “I’d, I’d love to do that with you. You and me can take Baby to the park that’s about five minutes away from your house. Sit on the trunk with a cold six pack and large extra cheese pizza between us. The windows rolled down with Zeppelin coming out the speakers.”

“That sounds perfect.” You said. It was a simple sound date, but it was something you’ve always strangely wanted to do; not really fully knowing why, even before you had met Dean. Your previous suitors never wanted to do this date idea, saying that it was too boring, or telling you that Zeppelin was overrated.

“How’s tonight at eight sound?” He asked.

“Eight can’t come soon enough.” You said. This was going to be a long seven hours. You thought.

[rafedaddy01]

I cant believe out of all places my parents chose Outer Banks to move too. This place is a shithole, except for the nicer part of town, where the rich live. This place is completely different from where i grew up, a small town In California called Nevada City. Man it was wonderful! the town pop was about 3,000 people and everybody knew everybody. it was home. but this place... in lack of better words; is a complete shithole.

of course my parents being the rich pricks they are, stayed back home to "deal with business" whatever the hell that means for them. so im staying with an old family friend of theirs, great! not..

the driver picks me up from the airport and as we drive to said family friend i admire the scenery. Houses, boats, shacks, homeless people, shops, that was all in the "poor side" as it call it, eye roll, i never enjoyed being rich. i was born into it. my father on the other hand was a made man. He opened up quite a few banks in our little city and recently they have evolved into bigger states/cities, hence the move.

we lived in a big manor on a secluded acreage back home, thats weird to say, i guess its not home anymore. we were close enough to town for me to be able to pop in everyday and work at the local museum, we always had lots of tourists come in and i enjoyed telling people about the history of our town.

i sigh in the back seat of the limo as i think about was used to be home and prepare to make acquaintance with the kings of the island. The Cameron's. my parents told me a little bit about them since id be staying with them until mom and dad could come down here permeantly.

There was Ward Cameron, the father. Rose Cameron, the stepmother. Rafe Cameron, the eldest. Sarah Cameron, the middle child. and Wheezie, the youngest of the bunch. They seemed noraml enough and i was kind of excited to make some new friends.

we pulled up to the house and man oh man. Ive seen some houses in my day but heck! seeing all the worn out building on the way over? the hosue has two stories and is white, it almost looks like the white house!

my eyebrows raise to my forehead as we drive up the long driveway and stop at the front of the house. the driver comes to my side and opens the door, ugh i hate being waited on, "thank you, Scott. You dont have to worry about my bags, i can carry them" i tell the older gentleman who looks like he should be in a retirement home with his white hair that is swiped back and covered by that redicioulse chauffer hat and that outift that sits loosely on his visible scrawny bones. "No worries Miss, Morales, its my pleasure." he smiles as he wobbles over to the trunk and takes my luggage.

"You must be Avery!" a feminine voice beams as she embraces me in a hug. Ugh, i do not like being touch. This town is just getting better and better. "im Rose Cameron, welcome to our home" she introduces herself and i take a step back examining her, she has blonde hair that comes down to about her shoulders and its pampered to perfection. She wearing a baby pink dress that hug's her curves magnificently. she has gold dangly earrings on and black thin heels, the kind that a sophisticated women would wear, shes beautiful but theres something about her i dont really like. "yes, hello" i smile back at her. "thank you for being so kind as to take me in" i tell her "oh nonsense, your parents are lovely people and we told them wed be happy to let you stay with us. as long as it takes"

As long as it take? what is that supposed to mean. does rose know something i dont, should i be worried?

i scratch the thoughts from my mind as we step into the estate, its beautiful, the twisting stairwell that leads upstairs and the gigantic chandelier that dangles in the middle. "wow, very beutiful Mrs. Cameron" i say as i take a look around "oh please, call me rose" she smiles, theres a viscousness in her smile, its fake. Ive seen it before, from my own mother none the less.

"let me show you to your room, the driver has already set your luggage in there" she says as she leads me up the staircase.

we walk into one of the many guest rooms, but this one is mine. the walls are a shade of gold and its oddly comforting. theres a large king bed in the center of the wide room and a balcony that hovers over the green grass and water thats seen in the distance. The bathroom is in the room and seems to connect to the room next door, i wonder whose room that is, probably another guest room.

"ill let you settle in and once your done you can come down for dinner and meet the rest of the family" rose smiles at me as she shuts the door and lets me settle.

i take a momment scanning the room, theres not much in it besides a closet, a bed, some nightstands, and curtains that fall along the frames of the windows. its much bigger than my room back home. i decide not to unpack everything, i dont plan on being her long, i hope.

I decided to take a shower, i was in a plane for 15hrs overall.

I wash myself with some shampoo that is in there, it smells like cedarwood and ginger, an odd mix but also strangly comforting. i lather my hair and body and let the hot water relax my built up tension.

once i hop out of the shower i wrap a towel around my body and head through my bedroom door, i stop and stare at the door across from mine, i wonder whose room that is.

i walk up to my luggage and pull out a mini plaid green skirt with a matching top, i dry my hair and let the pin-straight black strands flow down my back

i step out of the room at about 7:20pm and head downstairs, the smell of chicken infests my nostrils and my stomach grumbles, i hadnt even realized i didnt eat much today. i stride into the dining room and everybody is in there seats, except for two open ones, mine and i presume rafes, whose is empty.

"ah, there she is!' Ward speaks as he stands and rounds the table to me "Avery Morales, Sir" i say extending my hand. Ive learned my manners from talking to my father, he is a kind man when he wants to be but money changed him. he and my mother have both become vicious and would do anything to fill their wallets. its sad really, we used to be the perfect little family in Nevada and we still are, were, but with much darker secrets now, thats a story for another time.

"Im happy to welcome you to our humble abode Miss Morales" he says pulling my chair out for me. The empty chair is beside me while who i presume are sarah and wheezie sit across from me and ward and rose sit on opposite ends of the table.

"Im sarah" the girl to the left in front of me says. She is gorgeous, she has a tan that sticks to her skin like its her natural color and dirty blonde hair that flows down her shoulders and chest, her lips are plump and full and her eyes sparkle with kindness, i like her. "Wheezie" peeps the little girl next to her, shes young, maybe 13 or 14. She had black hair thats braided in two braids and glasses that frame her face.

"lets eat!" rose cheers as we dig in

we finish dinner and i insist on helping clear the table but ward says they have staff that do that and that i should get some rest because ive had a long day. Hes right im exhusted. I got to know sarah quite a bit, wheezie doesnt talk much. it seems like nobody really notices her and they all just ignore her whenever she trys to speak up. But sarah told me about the island a little bit and even said shed introduce me to some friends tomorrow.

I walk up the stairs and head for my room but i couldnt help thinking about the empty chair next to mine. why wasnt he at dinner? does he not live here, does he even exist. My mind is heavy with thoughts as i walk to the bathroom and turn the doorknob, that weird, i didnt leave the light on

"oh my god! im so sorry!' i squeal as i cover my eyes.

There is Rafe. standing. naked. in my bathroom, well, our bathoom. I guess i found out whose room is next to mine.

Pt2

@f4ll-for-you @v21sstuff @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @eventualoptimism @drewstarkeysbae @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx

[malleux]

alone.

-> kaedehara kazuha x gn!reader

-> warnings: new event spoilers, kazuha’s past

a/n: ive got a lot of kazu fics lined up sorry in advance lmao

Since leaving the bonsai tree, Kaedehara Kazuha was strangely quiet.

Granted, the samurai was always on the quieter side, but this was different. The aura around him seemed different, and not in a positive way. Despite smiling his way through his mirage and coming to conclusions about his life that seemed to please him, there was still a lingering thought in the back of his mind, floating obviously to everyone who had experienced it with him. 

Xinyan and Paimon tried their hardest to lighten the mood on the sail back to the main island, and their antics seemed to work on everyone else. You would laugh along with everybody, but you couldn’t stay completely focused on the conversations at hand. Your eyes constantly flitted towards Kazuha, whose smile still didn’t reach his eyes like usual. 

He disappeared once you reached the shore.

Nobody mentioned it, opting to give Kazuha space after he had to practically relive his traumatic past in the length of a day. He was strong, he would get through it and come around when he was ready. That’s what he always did. 

You couldn’t help but disagree. As much as everyone told you to leave him be, your worry overtook you. The little nagging voice in the back of your head became too annoying to bear and when the moon was high, you slipped out of your tent and ventured to the other end of the island, finding the silhouette of the very man you were looking for. 

You stepped lightly, as if not to startle him before shaking your head. Kazuha was blessed with immaculate senses– he knew you were coming. He could hear your breaths across the island, smell your scent as you came closer. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think that Kazuha could read your mind as well. Despite all of this, he never acknowledged your presence, even after you had sat down beside him. A few moments passed. You breathed in, ready to speak–

“Do you think of me any differently?”

You paused for a second, taken aback. “Why would I?”

“Some people believe that my past is all I am. All I will be. A fighter, a criminal. A failure to the Kaedehara clan.” Red eyes glanced at you, “I do my best to move past all of that, as you can tell, but it’s difficult not to get caught up in the sticky webs that my story spins. I was many things– none of them good.” 

“You said it yourself, Kazu. Your past doesn’t define you. It doesn’t matter what other people think of you, you know who you are.”

He hummed. “That doesn’t answer my question, though.”

“It doesn’t?”

“Not at all. I asked, what do you think of me, Y/N?” Kazuha’s body was turned more towards you now, “You’ve seen me at my lowest, when I didn’t know if I should continue fighting or give up and let everything consume me. I was, and still am, a broken man just trying to pick up the pieces and glue them back together. I try to push you all away– to not let anyone see weakness– and yet somehow the Universe decides to open up my past for everyone to see. What does that mean?”

“I think,” You take a small breath, “I think this is the Universe trying to tell you that you’re not alone anymore, Kazuha. We all have been through things, and we’re going to see that if the rest of our mirages open up. But now we know what you’ve been through and see how much you’ve grown, and we can help you get even better. We want to help. I want to help.”

Kazuha stayed quiet, turning his face back towards the vast sea in front of you. His eyes were still cloudy with thought, and you felt a little helpless. As if nothing you were saying was truly getting to him– making him understand that a life of wandering doesn’t mean a life of loneliness. 

Then, gentler than the breeze, your pinky grazed against his. 

Kazuha snapped his head back towards you and softened. His lips turned just the slightest bit upwards, still not reaching his worried eyes. His own pinky intertwined with yours and in what seemed like a sudden rush of confidence, Kazuha’s hand completely engulfed your own. 

“You can let me in, Kazuha. It’s safe. I’m safe.” 

“You’re safe.”

No more words were spoken. They weren’t needed. And the closer you slid into Kazuha’s side, the more he was willing to let down his walls. Your head rested on his shoulder, and he prayed that you couldn’t hear the rapid beating of his heart– nervousness. Nervous about the past, the future, and everything in between, but Kazuha knew it would be alright. 

He wasn’t alone anymore, after all. 

[tiannasfanfic]

Wisdom

Eddie Munson x Reader (Fluff)

| Masterlist | AO3 Link |

Summary: You finally get your wisdom teeth taken out and your best friend, Eddie Munson, is there to take care of you afterwards.

Rating: General

Author Note: Gender neutral reader, they/them pronouns, if any. Here's a little bit of fluff to go with all of our smut for Kinktober. Based on when I got my wisdom teeth taken out and the hilarity of me waking up from anesthesia. The only thing I remember about any of this is the tongue thing. Everything else I was told about second hand from my parents.

CW: Dental problems (wisdom teeth, wisdom teeth removal with no details except for proper medical definitions only); pain; pain medication used for post-op pain; side effects of anesthesia and pain mediation (loopiness, nausea, mentions of Reader throwing up due to medication); mention of IV but no details.

Word Count: 2,112

There comes a time in everybody’s life where a certain rite of passage happens. It’s an unpleasant one that everybody dreads.

Wisdom teeth removal.

While most people would have it done right away if they had the means, you put it off. You didn’t want to do it. It wasn’t that you were scared about it. The idea of having them taken out didn’t bug you at all since they’d be knocking you out cold for the procedure. It was the idea of recovering with all sides of your mouth hurting that intimidated you.

After three years of putting it off, you finally hit your breaking point when both of your bottom wisdom teeth were so impacted you had regular, painful flair ups of TMJ and were infected to the point you had to be on antibiotics for three weeks before the oral surgeon could even touch you.

Needless to say, your dad, your best friend Eddie Munson and his uncle, Wayne, weren’t very happy with you that you let it get that bad.

That was why when your dad got called out of town for work two days before your surgery, he immediately called Wayne and Eddie. Your dad was supposed to take you to the appointment and look after you for a couple of days, so he was afraid if you had to reschedule, you’d just cancel it completely. After seeing you be in pain almost daily since you were 17, no one wanted that. A new plan was quickly formulated.

Eddie would take you to and from the appointment. Since your dentist expected the recovery to be rough at first with how bad it was, Eddie would stay with you for a couple of days until you had recovered some.

It was a simple enough plan.

At first, all was going well. You couldn’t eat or drink after midnight, so your appointment was early. 8:30am, to be exact, so you went ahead and got your prescriptions the day before, then stayed the night with Eddie to make sure he got up. One thing he would never be accused of in his life was being a morning person.

Surprisingly, he got up easily when Wayne woke you two up at 6am when he got home from work.

“Course I’m getting up,” Eddie said groggily, sitting at the edge of the bed and rubbing his eyes when you teased him about it. “I hate seeing you in pain and you know I would do just about anything for you.”

That made you warm inside. While Eddie was your best friend, you had fallen for him ages ago and had kept quiet about it. That was a line you didn’t want to cross since he was your closest friend. Outside of him, your dad and Wayne, you couldn’t count on many people. If you told Eddie how you felt and the friendship was ruined, that would effectively cut the list in half. That was something you definitely wanted to avoid. Your feelings had been bottled up for a long time now, and that’s exactly where you intended to keep them.

Surprisingly, you didn’t get nervous about the procedure until you were already in the chair with the IV in. They had you count backwards from one hundred, but you were out cold before you even reached ninety.

Thus ended your part in the whole fiasco.

And it would, indeed, become a fiasco.

Two hours later, Eddie was woken up from his nap in the waiting room to the news that you were awake and ready to go home. The nurse led him back to your room so they could go over post-op care with him since you were, in the nurse’s words, “a little loopy.”

Loopy didn’t even begin to cover it.

Despite the fact you had just gone through a little bit of surgery, you were in the best mood Eddie had ever seen you in for the entire time he’s known you.

“Weddy, muh wuv!” you exclaimed as soon as he walked in.

Eddie took one look at you and had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

Between the gauze you had in your mouth and the mild swelling already starting through your cheeks, you reminded him of a squirrel who had its mouth packed full of nuts.

“Ah mah gawd, Weddy!” you said, making grabby hands at him so he’d come closer. “Ave ah avar tald ewe ow uch ah’m in ove wit ewe? Ike, fer eel?”

That was the moment Eddie realized weed highs and anesthesia highs were two completely different things. Between the obvious slurring from that and the gauze, he didn’t have a clue what you just tried to say.

“Hey there, Princess,” Eddie said, chuckling as he came over to the dentist’s chair you were sitting in.

As soon as he got close enough, you dove halfway out of the chair to wrap your arms around his hips in a bear hug. You also headbutted Eddie right in the crotch in the process. Thankfully, it wasn’t terribly hard, but it was definitely hard enough to make tears spring up in his eyes and his knees wobble.

“Easy there, Princess,” he gently scolded you, a slight strain to his voice from the impact.

He grasped you by your shoulders to sit you upright in the chair before you could lean over anymore and fall out of it.

Right as Eddie was about to pull away and stand upright, you grabbed his face in both of your hands and kissed him.

Or, tried to, rather. You just kind of latched your lips onto his bottom lip and sat there, completely still with your eyes closed.

Eddie couldn’t help but chuckle then, and gently pushed you back down into the chair. You pouted, which looked especially pathetic with your slightly swollen bottom lip.

It didn’t take long to go over the post-op instructions, then Eddie pulled his van around to the side entrance the nurse brought you to in a wheelchair. It took a few minutes to load you up because you kept jumping out of the van and back into Eddie’s arms before he could get the door closed. He finally had to go back around to sit in the driver’s side and coax you in while the nurses helped you climb up into the van.

The drive back was uneventful for the first half of the half hour trip. You were a chatterbox during that time, though Eddie still couldn’t understand you. One sentence sounded like, “I love you, Eddie,” but he knew that wasn’t what you said. As much as he wanted you to, he knew you really didn’t feel that way about him.

Then, halfway home, you started freaking out for apparently no reason. He ended up pulling over and calming you down but still couldn’t understand what you were trying to say when he asked you what happened. You finally took some of the gauze out then to explain.

“Thomething wath moving in my mouth and it thcared me.”

It was your tongue. You had noticed your tongue moving between the gauze while you were talking, and it freaked you out.

A couple of minutes after Eddie pulled back onto the road, you suddenly got quiet for the first time since you’d been out of surgery. Eddie looked over to see your face twisted in a look of discomfort and you were holding your stomach.

“Feeling sick?” Eddie asked and you nodded rapidly.

Eddie started speeding a little since he knew how much it sucked throwing up in a moving vehicle or on the side of the road. The nurse had warned him nausea was a potential reaction to being under anesthesia, so that wasn’t a surprise.

As soon as he pulled up to your house, he cut the engine, jumped out of the van, and ran up to the door to get it unlocked. He figured that would make it easier for you if he went back for you rather than make you stand there while he got it open.

However, he had barely gotten the inside door open when he heard the sound of running footsteps behind him. Eddie turned around just in time to see you stagger running up on him. He jumped out of your way, holding the screen door open for you as you ran inside, making a bee line for the bathroom while very obviously trying not to fall over.

Eddie quickly got the passenger door of the van closed so none of the neighborhood cats would get in, then hurried to check on you.

By this point, you were on your knees in front of the toilet, leaned over it and holding onto the bowl for dear life. He had seen this pose a couple of times after you’d had too much to drink. Since there was nothing in your stomach, the throwing up amounted to just dry heaving, but it didn’t take very long before you were sobbing, too.

“Throwing up after surgery sucks,” you whined into the toilet as Eddie held your hair and rubbed your back.

At least you had realized you needed to take the gauze out before you started throwing up. It was sitting next to you on the floor, so all Eddie had to do was throw it away rather than fish it out of the toilet.

It didn’t take very long before you felt okay enough to let Eddie help you up and lead you to his bed, where you not so gracefully fell onto it. Since you had been told to dress comfortably in loose clothing, you were already basically wearing your pajamas. You were in a loose t shirt and pajama pants, so you wouldn’t have to change. You had even forgone a bra since you didn’t want to mess with one when you got back.

Eddie helped you get in a more comfortable position and pulled the covers up over you. You ended up falling asleep shortly after that and this time Eddie was positive he heard you mutter, “I love you.” But, as much as it made his heart skip, he knew it was just the drugs talking.

The fiasco continued later that afternoon when you discovered the hard way that the painkillers you were prescribed made you sick. This time, it wasn’t just passing nausea and you spent quite a while with your head in a trash can. That understandably made you refuse to take anymore, but you were in a lot of the pain after the last of the anesthesia and Novocain wore off. It kept you up all night, which kept Eddie awake.

Eddie spent most of the day trying to think of a way to help you when an idea finally occurred to him.

“I know you can’t smoke,” he said. “But I can try shot gunning it to you instead. See if that helps.”

You were ready to try anything at this point and readily agreed.

The first hit from the joint went well. Eddie kept his lips a safe distance from yours to avoid bumping into you. You kept your eyes closed as you slowly inhaled the smoke through your mouth. Still though, it felt intensely intimate to Eddie, and he had to keep himself from trembling above you.

The next few hits weren’t as intense for him now that he knew what to expect, and he managed to get through a full joint by shot gunning most of the hits to you. After about an hour, when it did indeed seem to be helping, he lit up another joint to start the process again.

Eddie didn’t notice how he got closer and closer to you with each shotgun. He didn’t notice it when he lightly pressed his lips to yours, or your eyes snap open wide since his were closed. He didn’t even notice it when he did the same thing a few moments later with the last hit off the joint.

But he did notice it when your hand came up to rest softly along the side of his face.

Eddie’s eyes few open and he finally realized he was actually kissing you.

After a moment, he pulled away and your eyes came halfway open. A sleepy, high smile came across your face.

“What took you so long?” you asked him.

Before Eddie could formulate a response, you yawned slightly and turned onto your side, eyes closing. You were asleep before he knew it, leaving him sitting over you, blinking.

That had to be the pain and the weed talking…right?

Had to be.

[shunchitaro]

Chishiya x Reader

Genre: Romance

No, he would never fall in love.

Love. The word rolled off his tongue as a joke, a fantasy- nothing more. Besides, he was in the borderlands; and he didn't want to be focused on something that would distract him. He knew with all his heart that he would never be bothered by such foolish feelings.

Then you came

The moment you got to the beach, you were nothing but sunshine. Heck- even Niragi of all people wouldn't dare touch you without your consent. It seemed that you were soon the beach favorite.

But with all the people glancing your way, the one you chose was the one that possibly didn't even care.

"I'm new here, and my name's Y/N L/N. It's nice to meet you."

Chishiya, who was peering down at everybody from the second floor, glanced up at you.

On instinct, his first reaction would be to tell you to leave and he wasn't interested in frienshi-

"Chishiya Shuntaro, same to you"

He caught himself off guard.

What the heck was that? Did he just pay attention to you?

He doesn't know what made him talk to you when he knew that he genuinely didn't care about anybody. So what made him do so?

Was it the way your hair would be slightly unkempt as you walked to the cafeteria at lunch, showing that you were the type to sleep through the morning?

Was it the way you laughed with your eyes closed, or the way you pulled an oreo cookie apart and ate the cream first?

Was it the way you liked your milk always cold/hot, or the way you always put both socks on before your shoes?

Was it the way you liked giving people random nicknames, or the way you remember the little things about people?

What was so interesting about you, that it made him want to talk to you?

He was zoning out while sitting on the roof, and your voice brought him back to his senses as you sat next to him, talking cheerfully about a game you just currently finished easily.

Your voice was muffled to him, and he felt as if the world stopped as he finally decided to look at you longer than he usually would. He looked at the content expression on your face and the wide smile etched on it even at a time such as this, the way your legs swung on the edge of the roof not terrified of falling to your death, the way you used your hands on either side of you to lean back slightly- exactly the way he was sitting. He didn't know what made him interested to speak to you a few weeks ago, but it was clear to him now.

One thing about Chishiya Shuntaro is he is the type of person that likes to observe people. He's the type of person that would do anything to get what he wants. He's the type of person that will lie without a second thought, just to get someone to believe him enough to trust him for him to make his next move in his plan. He's the type of person that didn't think with his heart, the type that never struggled with his emotions.

No, he would never fall in love.

Yet sometimes, the best lies he's ever told are about himself.

Maybe, just maybe, he was falling in love with you.

He smiles to himself as he moves his gaze away from you before you realized he was even staring in the first place.

'Yeah' he told himself, the corner of his lips lifting slightly as he lied to himself.

'I'm not in love'

Like hell he wasn't, because he knew deep down that it was a lie. Author’s note: HEY HEY yes im obsessed with AIB and ive written these oneshots on wattpad too! If you have suggestions please ask, and you can also ask on wattpad, since im more active there. i just decided to post here bc the acc’s been dead lmao

Wattpad link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/331843298-alice-in-borderland-oneshots

[quiet-gremlin]

ive got silly guys for you!!! (repost from my old acc) its a little older so im not as proud of it but !! we need more gremlin connor content out here

SFW!!!!! NSFW DNI

switch!connor + switch!schlatt (a little heavier on lee schlatt though Augh) | 1.3k words !!

Bored

{🐏🦔}

Connor huffed, collapsing onto the couch right next to Schlatt. Schlatt turned his head slowly, his annoyed face very clear to the hedgehog.

Connor frowned, looking up at Schlatt. He opened his mouth to speak, before Schlatt interrupted him.

"Connor, I just want to warn you, that if you are going to say anything about being bored, I am going to lose my fucking mind."

Connor couldn't help but laugh. It was a frequent complaint that the brunette had, and usually everybody suffered when he went through it.

"Well, boy do I have news for you."

The shorter paused, staring as the ram waited.

"I'm bored."

Schlatt groaned, rubbing at this eyes and setting down his book.

"Fine. You win. What do you want me to do about it?"

He was exasperated, and the only response his friend paid him was a simple shrug.

"Dunno."

"Do you wanna watch a movie?"

The taller said, hoping to find an end to their talk. Even though Schlatt loved Connor with his whole heart, running a business is hard work! And he needed time to recharge before he did shit again.

"I guess...."

But of course, the other hybrid had to make everything difficult. What did he even want if he didn't want a simple hang out session?

"You guess? Con, my man, it's a yes or no question."

They both laughed, and Connor finally gave a proper response.

"Fine. But only if it's not a horror movie. I can't stand those."

Schlatt nodded frantically, agreeing. Anything to get out of the conversation and into silently watching a movie.

He was quick to turn on some dumb Disney movie, picking Mulan since he knew for a fact it was among Connor's favorites.

Schlatt opened his book, reading through it as he thought the conversation had come to an end, and they would just watch the movie.

Connor though, seemed to not be even close to done. He snaked his arm around Schlatt's waist, his eyes glued to the screen. The ram didn't think it was anything different, his arm finding its place around his friend's shoulders. It was a common occurrence to find them holding onto each other, as best friends often did.

What Schlatt failed to see, was another common occurrence the two found themselves in the habit of doing.

Without saying a word, both of Connor's hands found their way to Schlatt's sides, and he immediately started taking advantage of that.

"Whahat the fuhuck-"

Schlatt tried his best to shut up, and not let Connor see his hard work pay off, but he was woefully unprepared for this.

The hedgehog simply shrugged, his hands finding their way to the ram's ribs. Maybe he'd think about not wearing a shirt around the house next time.

"Ohokay, ohOHKAY!"

Schlatt tried to back away, but his best friend only followed. He was still holding his book, and really didn't want to drop and ruin it.

"I told you I was bored. Maybe, next time, you won't try and shut me up with a movie. Tee Bee Ache, you kinda deserve it."

Schlatt was going to bring up the spelling of the acronym 'To Be Honest' out loud, but he couldn't focus on that, as Connor had wormed his way to his lower back, scratching at the area by his tail.

That actually made Schlatt collapse against the pillows, trying to squeeze out Connor's hands. But that only helped what he was trying to hurt, Connor moving one of his hands to come after his lower tummy.

Schlatt shook his head, trying to control the giggles that continued to leave his mouth. What didn't help, was that Connor said absolutely nothing as he fucked with him.

"Cohon, CohoHONNEHER!"

He tried to beg, watching the older look up at him.

"Yeah? What's up, Schlatt?"

The ram cackled, his head falling back to the pillow behind him. Of course he picked an asshole to be his best friend.

It took him a moment to process that he could be fighting back instead of sitting back and taking it.

Schlatt brought his hands down, trying to collect Connor's. He actually got a good grip on one of the smaller wrists before the tickles stopped, and bright blue eyes stared at him.

".....Heyyyy, Schlatt-"

He said, looking just a tad nervous. Good.

"Hehey, Connor."

Schlatt responded, a death stare finding its way to Connor.

Even through his short breathed giggles, Schlatt was a scary man. Usually it was to Connor's advantage! But this time? ....no, not really.

"Uhm, what's going on?"

Connor asked, testing the grip that the ram had on one of his hands, using the other to rub his palm on his pant leg.

Schlatt looked calm, shrugging.

"Nothing much. You want your hand back?"

He asked, doing his best to keep his growing smirk off his face.

"Yeah, uh, that'd be nice."

Connor replied, avoiding the other's eyes by trying to pry off the fingers that held the freedom of his hand.

"Wow. That's gotta suck, then."

He finally responded, the shorter looking up at him in confusion.

"What?"

He asked, but it was already too late. Schlatt held his hand palm up, furiously scribbling at it.

The hedgehog shrieked, the shock of his situation hitting harder than the movements themselves. His heel dug into the floor under the couch, and he tried to pull his hand back.

Schlatt wasn't giving in though, his nails scratching up and down the ridiculously sensitive area.

Connor was reduced to giggles, shaking his head as if he were embarrassed.

"The funniest thing about you, is that you don't even fight back! You just sit there and take it!"

The ram teased, watching his friend's face light up a bright red. He knew that he was right though, by the way he just shrinked into the couch.

He didn't respond, uselessly giggling. While that was a good spot, Schlatt wanted to try and get a different kind of laughter that he knew Connor could produce.

He gave the hands a rest, looking the hedgehog up and down. Eventually, before Connor could fully recover, his hands found their way to the other's sides, grinning as he did so.

"You should really just get good, Con."

He said, starting to quickly squeeze. Connor's giggles returned, and he tried to push at Schlatt's hands. It was only when the ram tried to scribble at his tummy that he fought back, actually pushing Schlatt's hands off of him and sitting up to dig into his hips.

Schlatt immediately retracted his hands, freezing up for a second before he weakly pushed at Connor's.

"Screhehew you!"

Connor exclaimed, moving a hand to claw once more at the other's lower back and tail area. Schlatt didn't take this well, but he didn't do much to stop it, too taken in by the sensations attacking his nervous system.

Connor took his time abusing that spot, Schlatt kicking his legs and basically unable to do anything. Finnally, after too much time (in Schlatt's opinion), he finally switched, one hand focusing on his ribs and the other scratching at the base of his horn.

The melt spot and regular tickles hit him like a truck, purring mixed with laughter tiring him out more than Connor probably meant to.

Eventually, he called out what Connor had been waiting to hear.

"Uhuhuncle! UhuncehEHELE!"

That led the older to finally stop, grinning widely at his friend.

"I won!"

He said proudly, rubbing away any ghosty tingles that stayed on Schlatt's skin.

"Oh fuhuck yohou."

Schlatt hissed in response, glaring. Of course, he'd have to get Connor back. But that'd happen on a day he didn't know to expect it.

"Wanna watch a movie?"

His friend asked, an innocent look plastered on his face.

"Die."

[criminalmindsgonewrong]

assigning midnights songs to the bau and ships

characters

emily;

anti-hero; did you hear my covert narcissism idisguise as altruism like some kind of congressman, tale as old as time, i wake up screaming from dreaming one day i'll watch as you're leaving and life will lose all its meaning for the last time

would've, could've, should've; all i used to do was pray // i would've stayed on my knees and i damn sure never would've danced with the devil (at fifteen)// if you never touched me, i would've gone along with the righteous // you're a crisis of my faith, would've, could've, should've, if I'd only played it safe // god rest my soul, i miss who i used to be, the tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind, i regret you all the time

dear reader; dear reader, get out your map, pick somewhere and just run, dear reader, burn all the files, desert all your past lives, and if you don't recognize yourself, that means you did it right // never take advice from someone who's falling apart // dear reader when you aim at the devil make sure you don't miss // you wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking, if you knew where i was walking, to a house, not a home, all alone

penelope, bejeweled; best believe I'm still bejeweled when I walk in the room, I can still make the whole place shimmer // baby boy, I think I've been too good of a girl, did all the extra credit, then got graded on a curve // what's a girl gonna do? A diamond's gotta shine

jj (about ros or maggie), bigger than the whole sky; ive got a lot to pine about, ive got a lot to live without, im never gonna meet what could've been, would've been, what should've been you // did some force take you because I didn't pray? every single thing to come has turned into ashes // it's all over, it's not meant to be so ill say words I don't believe, goodbye

elle, vigilante shit; and she looks so pretty, driving in your Benz. lately she's been dressing for revenge. she don't start shit, but she can tell you how it ends, don't get sad, get even // someone sweet and kind and fun the lady simply had enough

morgan, karma; i keep my side of the street clean, you wouldn't know what I mean // karma is a god // me and karma vibe like that // don't you know that cash ain't the only price? it's coming back around // ask me what i learned from all those years, ask me what i earned from all those tears // im still here // karma's gonna track you down step by step, town to town

spencer, you're on your own kid; cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned, everything you lose is a step you take, so make the friendship bracelets take the moment and taste it, you've got no reason to be afraid // you're on your own, kid, you always have been

haley, high infidelity; high infidelity, put on your records, and regret me // do you really want to know where I was april 29th? do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes? // storm coming, good husband, bad omen // at the house lonely, good money // you know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough, do you really want to know where i was april 29th? do i really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

hotchniss;

the great war; all that blood shed, crimson clover, uh-huh, sweet dream was over, my hand was the one you reached for, all throughout the great war // your finger on my hair pin triggers, hold you down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honor and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops. that was the night I nearly lost you

labyrinth; it only hurts this much right now was what I was thinking the whole time, breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out, ill be getting over you my whole life// you would break your back to make me break a smile, you know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back, just like that

mastermind; what if i told you none of it was accidental? and the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me, i laid the groundwork and then, just like clockwork, the dominoes cascaded in a line // no one wanted to play with me as a little kid so I've been scheming like a criminal ever since to make them love me and make it seem effortless is this the first time I feel the need to confess? and i swear, im only cryptic and machiavellian 'cause i care

jemily:

maroon (emilys perspective); and I chose you, the one I was dancin' with in new york // the burgundy on my tshirt when you splashed your wine onto me and how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was maroon //sobbin' with your head in your hands ain't that the way shit always ends? // and I wake with your memory over me, that's a real fucking legacy to leave

paris; privacy sign on the door and on my page and on the whole world, romance is not dead if you keep it just yours // i wanna transport you to somewhere the culture's clever confess my truth in swooping sloping cursive letters

snow on the beach (jjs perspective); and it's like snow at the beach, weird but it was beautiful, flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful, you wanting me tonight feels impossible, but it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around // i can't speak, afraid to jinx it. i don't even dare to wish it

glitch; we were supposed to be just friends // i think there's been a glitch, five seconds later, i'm fastening myself to you with a stitch and I'm not even sorry // a  brief interruption, a slight malfunction, id go back to wanting dudes who give nothing, ihought we had no chance and that's romance, let's dance

other ships

willifer, lavendar haze; all they keep asking me is if i'm gonna be your bride the only kinda girl they see is a one night or a wife // im damned if I do give a damn what people say, no deal, the 1950s shit they want from me

hotchniss/willifer/jemily, midnight rain; he was sunshine, i was midnight rain he wanted it comfortable, i wanted that pain, he wanted a bride, i was making my own name, chasing that fame, he stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight // i broke his heart 'cause he was nice // Picture perfect, shiny family, holiday, peppermint candy but for him it's every day // i guess sometimes we all get some kind of haunted

garvez, sweet nothing; they said the end is coming, everyone's up to something, i find myself running home to your sweet nothings, outside they're push and shoving, you're in the kitchen humming, all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing // to you i can admit that im just too soft for all of it

jeid, question...?;  one thing after another fucking situation, circumstances, miscommunications and I have to say, by the way, i just may like some explanations// did you leave her house in the middle of the night? did you wish you'd put up more of a fight, when she said it was too much? do you wish you could still touch her? it's just a question // half-moon eyes, bad surprise, did you realize, out of time, she was on your mind with some dickhead guy that you saw that night but you were on something

[emeritus-moon]

{ENGLISH} Copia (Papa IV) x Female!Cat!Reader

Request : None

Gender : Female

Who : Cardinal Copia | Papa Emeritus IV

A/N : I was thinking of this idea yesterday and I was hesitating like : Should the reader turn into a cat, or a rat? And because I didn't manage to choose... I picked my other option ; Let's make two different One Shot for both! Let's start with the cat!

- - - : Timeskip

~ ~ ~ : Flashback

- - -

In winter, like everywhere in the world, the evening welcomes its dark starry sky earlier than in other seasons.

The moon is already high when Cardinal Copia, when he just finished his last paperwork for the day, returns to his quarters.

The day was heavy and unbearable...

Copia had just finished a tour a few days ago, and immediately after stepping through the doorway of the abbey, the Sister Imperator swarmed him again with her requests.

He understands that being the new Papa brings great responsibilities to take on and not to leave, but sometimes the tasks feel overwhelming. So when could he have a good time to rest?

A sigh slips from his lips as he rubs his tired face with his hands and stretches his back a bit.

Copia rolls his eyes before heading back down the halls of the building to his room.

After a few more steps, a small meow catches the man's attention. This one immediately turns to the source of the noise, and obviously, he sees a cat.

This cat is black with beautiful mixed green and yellow eyes. The Cardinal tilts his head to the side and strangely, the cat follows his movement.

"- You're a real horror movie cliche, you know...? The black cat in a dark corner of a gloomy place, you meow once and after what? Now you're going to leave and someone is going to try to kill me?"

The man places his fingers on his chin and taps his lower lip with his index finger questioningly, as if thinking.

Suddenly, he reaches out his hands to the cat, startling it as it exclaims:

"- Ahah! The one who is going to assassinate me will be Terzo, right!? Papa Emeritus III! Everybody told me that he had a great demeanor... Perhaps you're jealous of my successes, Papa Terzo!?"

The man laughs mockingly, knowing Terzo can't hear him, since he's dead and locked in a coffin.

The black cat then begins to hiss at Copia who was looking, a few moments ago, at the ceiling as if he were addressing the ghost of Papa III until a start took him when he heard the cat.

"- Oh, c'mon... I was kidding!"

The cat rises from its sitting position to move away from the Cardinal. Copia's eyes follow him, a raised eyebrow and he wonders if he should follow the animal.

Only, before he can do anything, the Sister Imperator appears at the end of the hall and notices the feline. Immediately her gaze shows anger and she walks faster towards the cat. She opens a nearby window and then claps her hands to scare the little beast. The cat immediately scurries outside the abbey, dodging the woman.

Once the window is closed behind this cat, the Sister Imperator turns to Copia:

"- Cardinal, why are you still up at this hour?

- Well, I was just going to bed when I saw this animal in the hallway and-

- It's not the first time that this beast has entered the abbey... It has no place here! It's been around for a few years now..

- Why didn't you find it a Master?

- We already dropped it off at the SPA. Papa Nihil was attached to this idiocy of nature and didn't want to get rid of it or hurt it so he saw fit, but reluctantly, to drop it there... Only, this cat reappeared upon his death. I don't know how he managed to come back, the SPA is still far from the abbey though.

- These animals are intelligent my Sister."

The lady shrugs, rolling her eyes, totally annoyed by this cat.

She then begins to move away from Copia while he stares at the window through which the animal came out. The Sister Imperator turns to him :

"- Anyway... Go to bed Cardinal. Tomorrow, a long job is waitng for you.

- Yes my Sister."

Papa IV forces a smile on the lady in front of him. That smile quickly fades once the Sister turns on her heels and is out of sight.

Copia shrugs and decides to finally head back to his quarters.

- - -

Arriving in his room, the Cardinal instantly closes the door behind him and sighs, leaning against it.

His attention then turns to squeaks that come from a small cage on his dresser. Immediately, a smile forms on his lips and he reaches for this cage, remembering that it contains his little rat. He then opens the small door and takes the rodent in one of his hands before gently patting his little head affectionately.

As he gives all his love to his little pet, a scraping sound on his window is heard, taking him by surprise.

Copia turns to his window and then sees the black cat.

He then looks at his rat, who strangely makes eye contact with his master. The two exchange looks filled with confusion and curiosity and the Cardinal then decides to put his rat back in his cage.

After closing the cage's door, he goes to the window and opens it for the cat.

Once the window is open, the feline jumps into Copia's room and goes to rest on the man's cozy bed. He sits down and begins grooming his front legs, turning his back to the man behind him.

Papa stays put, still staring at the cat before finally averting his eyes and awkwardly looking away.

"- You're not really wasting time... But hey, go ahead, make yourself at home!"

The black cat turns to Copia for a few seconds before heading for the personal bathroom, which the door is a little bit open.

The man watches the cat leave. He is about to follow it but the animal, one way or another, closes the door in front of his face.

Copia then hears a strange noise. Like a meow that the cat could emit but... Distorted..?

As he reaches out to open the door, it opens before he can do it himself. And there, what is in the bathroom is no longer the cat. Seeing this strangeness in front of him, Copia recoils until he falls onto his bed.

In front of him is a young woman only covered with a towel.

"- W-who- Who are you?

- Do you have any clothes? I don't want to only wear a bath towel."

The girl sees the Cardinal's closet and then walks over to it, opening the doors and starting to look for something to cover herself with.

"- But what-

- What? You told me to make myself at home, I do."

Copia manages to get up, recovering from her shock but still holding on to the wall so as not to fall. He approaches slowly, but surely, the young lady in front of him. She grabs a Copia's random ceremonial dress and begins to return to the bathroom.

Before she can go back, the man musters up his courage and grabs her gently by the wrist. This is enough to attract her attention, since the girl now looks at him straight in the eyes, without seeming interested in the male.

He looks her up and down before asking:

"- W-where... Where did the kitty go..?

- The kitty?

- Yes?

- Oh! Didn't you understand?"

The female faces Papa properly before standing on her tiptoes and moving closer to his face, not taking her eyes off his for a second. A slight blush appears on the Cardinal's cheeks, but he doesn't look away.

"- I am that cat."

Copia's eyes widen and he doesn't have time to say or ask anything because the young woman has already gone back to the bathroom.

- - -

After a while waiting for the "cat lady" sitting on his bed, Copia finally hears his bathroom door open. He raises his head towards it and then sees the girl wearing one of his clothes.

The Cardinal blushed again as he stood up and approached the stranger, looking her up and down like earlier.

"Your eyes have a nasty habit of wandering around, Copia.

- How do you know my name?"

The young woman sighs and goes to sit on the man's bed before looking at him straight in the eyes again. Copia follows her every move until she's settled in, then finally, the girl explains:

"- I've been watching you for months, Cardinal. Or maybe I should call you Papa instead? Since you now have the role of Terzo.

- You do know Terzo?

- Uh.... First, you mentioned him earlier. Next ; yes I know him. Terzo was actually my Master until he learned what I really am and then he considered me like a colleague and a friend.

- Oh! Oh... So that's why you hissed earlier when-

- When you had fun with those teasing about him? A little my dear."

Copia laughs nervously, scratching the back of his head as he tentatively approaches the woman, sitting down beside her and staring at the floor without saying another word.

However, other questions come to his mind and he can't help but ask them:

"- I have... more questions... If you don't mind, of course.

- I think I should answer to these. After all, I have allowed myself a lot of things in your quarter. So you have the right to ask me anything."

Papa thinks about what questions to ask. He plays nervously with his fingers, still not looking at the person next to him.

Finally, he says:

"- Were you there when Terzo died?

- I was. Then Papa Nihil found me with the Sister Imperator. Nihil wanted to keep me, he took a liking to me strangely easily and honestly, I wasn't complaining, this man was pretty... Nice. Only, the Sister Imperator didn't want me to stay. And as, I think you must have already noticed, Nihil always listens to the Sister or always wants to please her, they made the decision to drop me off at a SPA.

- Mmh... The Sister explained this part to me.

- She must have had enough of me coming back. But I always will, no matter what she does or says.

- It's true that you came back suddenly! But then... How did you escape the SPA?

- There was no more room in the different "enclosures", so I was with another of their cats. One day, I like... felt that something was wrong. I immediately made a connection in my mind with Nihil. I had to go see him. So I took this chance to leave when a family, the same day, wanted to adopt my "roommate". One of the employees opened the door and I escaped. I don't think they even had time to realize what happened! I didn't feel followed so they must have taken a while before they started going after me. Well... After that, I went back to the abbey.

- But then that's why you came back quickly to the abbey... Sister Imperator told me that this famous SPA was far from here. Did you use your human form?

- I did it. I didn't have a car, so I took a taxi. I ripped off the driver a bit actually, because I didn't have any money on me. After all, I don't have any pockets on me as a cat.

- How did you do?

- I had stolen clothes that were drying in a garden before taking this taxi. There were no barriers so I took my chance. Then there was a small bag so I gave it to him, telling him to keep it because it only had my money in it, nothing else, and I didn't like that bag. Of course, I lied for the money. There was nothing. He couldn't catch me when I left to finish the walk to the abbey because I had quickly fled into the forest and had already resumed my cat form. These not fully dried clothes were sticking on me...

- Well... A real delinquent!"

The young woman giggles, which makes Copia smile.

The two are slowly starting to feel more comfortable with each other. The Cardinal asked a few more questions and the girl answered.

Her checkered history does, in fact, make Copia laugh. You could say a real adventurer out of a children's account, except that this character is real.

"- Two last questions, "CatWoman".

- Mhhmm?

- What is your name? And... what exactly are you?

- Y/N. And I'm just a simple witch.

- A "simple witch"!? But what you told me was thrilling!"

Copia stood up to grab the hands of the girl named Y/N in his, looking at her with fascination. The female is surprised, but a shy smile forms on her lips.

"- You think so?

- I do!"

Y/N laughed at the Cardinal's childish smile. You could really say a Nanny who has just finished telling a fairy tale to a child.

This laugh was contagious, since Copia joined the young woman in this burst of joy.

- - -

The next morning, the Sister Imperator is waiting for Copia with her arms crossed against her chest. Her brow furrows as she looks at the time on the clock for the umpteenth time.

"- He is late."

A figure comes up behind her. This figure stands in front of her and smiles tenderly upon seeing her, but their smile falls when the Sister shows her impatience.

"- What's wrong, my dear?

- Papa. You're here.

- Always, even dead!

- Mmmh. Cardinal is late!

- He will come soon, I'm sure of-"

Papa Nihil, seeming to be always present but in the form of a ghost, has no time to finish his sentence when the heavy doors of the room in which he is with the Empress Sister open with an awfully loud creak. .

The two look in the direction of the door to see Copia. Only, the last Papa is not alone.

In his arms, Y/N, in her cat form. She purrs with her eyes closed while she relaxes under Copia's gentle pampering.

The Sister Imperator, seeing the cat, frowns more and begins to walk towards the Cardinal.

Before she can say or do anything, the woman is immediately overtaken by the ghost of Nihil who hurries towards the Cardinal.

"- My adorable kitten!!"

Y/N opens her eyes, recognizing Nihil's voice.

Immediately, the cat jumps out of Copia's arms and rushes towards the old Papa. Unfortunately for them, when Nihil bends down to hug Y/N and Y/N still runs towards him to welcome his embrace, things don't go as planned. Y/N passes through Nihil's body as the old man's hands pass through the little cat.

They both stare at each other, confused. Y/N meows tilting her head to the side and Nihil apologizes:

"- My little one.. I don't think I will be able to pet you, carry you or cuddle you anymore! But know that I am still happy to see you again!"

Y/N meows again, this time in response to Nihil. She puts a paw through one of Papa Nihil's feet to try to show her affection. The grandfather laughs at that, happy to see this cat.

"- But tell me... Wouldn't you have escape?"

Sister Imperator advances towards the two Papas and the cat, still with her arms crossed on her chest as she looks at the animal with indifference and replies :

"- Looks like so.. But tell me, Cardinal? What were you doing with that cat? Don't tell me you're going to-

- Adopt it? My Sister... This cat is now my cat! And also, Papa's one if necessary, since they seem to get along wonderfully. In fact, this little treasure will be the abbey's cat. She likes being here and she likes the others! Cirrus and Cumulus already love her. I need to introduce her to the other Ghouls as well."

The black cat, or Y/N, approaches Copia and stands on its hind legs, resting its front paws on the man's calf, asking to be carried.

The Cardinal takes the cat in his arms again, stroking its head and then scratching its chin.

"- Look at her, isn't she adorable? I put a little red ribbon on her! Of course she had to match my rat... But him, preferred to gnaw it. Well, if he prefers it as a toy. Anyway! I've got work to do. Papa, if you'd like to come and see the cat, you're welcome! As always, after all."

Copia greets Nihil and the Sister before turning on his heels and smiling mischievously at Y/N. He's pretty sure the cat lady smiled back at him in that feline form.

The two leave, under the bored gaze of Sister Imperator and the happy one of Papa Nihil.

[coffeeheartaddict2]

Everybody hurts sometimes (16/18)

Numb

Characters: Ethan Ramsey, Casey Valentine, Naveen Banerji, Tobias Carrick, Alan Ramsey

Warnings: language, sexual content, mentions of addiction and mental health

****trigger warning- this series deals with issues of abandonment and addiction****

Word count: 2909

Category: angst with a small side of smut

Rating: Mature

Summary: the fallout from the funeral.

Disclaimer: characters belong to Pixelberry:

Authors note: the last of the high angst, then building the happy ending.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

All hell had broken loose as soon as Ethan walked in and when he collapsed, well it was crazy.

Tobias and Naveen took charge, they had dealt with their fair share of crazy situations. An ambulance was called. Tobias made the call to send Ethan to Mass Kenmore. Naveen was perplexed, after all Edenbrook was closer to the funeral home.

“Do you really want Ethan going to emergency like this and stay? The gossip alone, at least at Kenmore I can put him into our VIP wing and manage whom I send to care to keep cross hospital gossip to a minimum.”

Naveen saw Tobias’s point. Ethan was a man who valued his privacy and he knew there would be none at Edenbrook.

Next up was Casey. She said she was physically fine, stating she would probably have some slight bruising on her thigh where she hit it on the chair but no other injury. Tobias made note of the fact she emphasized physical wellness.

Alan was shocked but said he would get the service finished after the ambulance left and look after the other guests. He said he would join them at Kenmore later.

Ethan was breathing but was in and out of consciousness. The ambulance officers arrived and Tobias directed them to take Ethan to Mass Kenmore. Casey stayed and said she would bring Alan. Naveen and Tobias rode in the ambulance. All of Ethan’s vital signs were stable. Tobias called ahead to get Ethan set up in the VIP wing after going through the ED. Tobias noted how distraught Naveen was.

“I should have insisted on counseling when I noticed the drinking being an issue, don’t get me wrong I did keep an eye on him but I should have insisted.”

“If you had though, would anything have been achieved? Even when I saw him when Louise was at Kenmore he was only starting to realize how badly he had pushed away, he needed closure, from what he yelled at the coffin the note that Louise entrusted with Casey had given him some. I think this is his rock bottom.”

Naveen agreed with Tobias’s assessment.

“I have had my doubts about you Dr Carrick, especially after what Ethan told me about you and your fallout but you really have been a true friend to him, thank you.”

“My pleasure Naveen, we are both not the same person from medical school, a drunken decision on my part and a lie borne out of a miscommunication from the other was the beginning of the end really. I felt me and Ethan were close to reconciling before the shit hit the fan from this.”

“Well I hope you do.”

They arrived at Kenmore. Tobias took charge and ordered a tox screen. Naveen filled out the paperwork as best he could. Ethan was hooked up to an IV to help with rehydration. When Tobias was sure there was nothing else major in play he authorized the transfer to the VIP wing. By this time, Casey had brought Alan. Ethan was asleep when they arrived. Tobias and Casey left Alan alone with Naveen.

“How are you Casey?” Asked Tobias.

“I do not know, I nearly went to visit him several times between Louise dying and the funeral but then I remember the fight that we had the last time I was there and I did not want to go there only to be told to fuck off. And seeing him so…grief stricken and out of control.”

“Yeah, it was confronting. I have been on the receiving end of his anger and I think I preferred that in all honesty. Did you want to come over and chat after shift?”

“That would be lovely, thank you.”

Ethan finally woke up, very confused.

“It’s ok, you are at Mass Kenmore” said Naveen. “Do you remember anything that happened?”

“I remember being at the funeral home and then woke up here. Fuck, my head is so sore!”

“Ethan, at the funeral home, you started yelling and you eventually collapsed. You were bought to Mass Kenmore.”

Just then a nurse comes along to do some observations. She also pages Dr Carrick to let him know that Ethan is awake. Tobias makes his way. Ethan looks annoyed but awake.

“Why am I here.”

“You collapsed in public, your tox screen on arrival had you very drunk Ethan. You will be here at least for the mandated three days..”

“And do not get any ideas of coming to work. I am insisting that you undergo some counseling. I feel I let it go too long but your display at the funeral home today I could not ignore. If you wish to go a step further and undertake rehabilitation that is up to you but you are not dealing with the issues has gone on long enough. Start fixing yourself then we can discuss a return to work.” Said Naveen rather sternly.

Ethan nodded in understanding.

Alan said he would get some clothes from his apartment and bring them to him.

“Can you bring my laptop too, to research options”

“Of course”

“Well Ethan it looks like the only amount of sleep you have had for awhile is the sleep you had from when you collapsed. Try and rest. I will do another tox screen later to see if it is safe to give you a sedative.”

“Thank you Tobias.”

Alan and Naveen leave with Tobias.

“Well me saying he needs to have counseling went better than I expected.”

“Yeah, as I said in the ambulance, hopefully this is his rock bottom.”

Both Alan and Naveen thanked Tobias for what was doing and they left. It was the end of shift and Tobias found Casey. They left and went to Tobias’s townhouse.

Tobias ordered Pizza and they picked it up on the way. They ate in companionable silence.

“I have not seen you so ambivalent Casey,” said Tobias, “how are you feeling really?”

Casey reached for Tobias’s hand and squeezed it before letting go.

“In a word numb. I hate it. I want to be angry, I want to be sad, I want to be hopeful that this incident will be the beginning of some healing but I can’t.”

Casey gets up and starts to pace.

“The last time I was this emotionally numb was the funeral for Bobby and Danny.”

Tobias took a deep breath and then got up to give Casey a hug. She wanted to cry but nothing came.

“I get it, truly. We both want him to be healed but it was so hard as he pushed for so long. I said to Naveen on the ambulance ride over "I hope this is his rock bottom.”

“I have never seen him like this. Ever. Even when he was treating Naveen and he had to give him the news that he only had one month left, he was never this bad. Yes he went to be alone for a few days but at least he had the decency to tell me.”

“At that time too though, it was not some anger he had been internalizing for 25 years.”

“I still love him, I hope he can heal”

“Me too Casey. Me too.”

He gently kisses the top of her head and rests his chin on top. Eventually Casey moves her head. Tobias nods and she kisses him. They kiss for awhile and stop.

“I do not know why this is making sense to me right now.”

“I understand. You need to feel something. I get that.”

He kisses her again. Casey returns the kiss and deepens it. Tobias’s hand squeezes her breast through her dress. She lets out a slight moan.

Casey starts to unbutton his shirt and runs her hands along his bare chest.

“Did we want to go somewhere a bit more comfortable?”

Casey states yes. They head upstairs to his room.

“You are in control Casey, if you at any point wish to stop, just say the word, ok?”

“Yes Tobias but I want too.”

They kiss again and he unzips the back of her dress. He kisses down the column of her neck. He runs his thumb over the hardened peak of her nipples. A familiar sensation pools at Casey’s core. He walks her over to the bed and Casey sits on the bed.

Tobias briefly marvels at how beautiful Casey is before taking his trousers off and joining her. He undoes her bra and lavishes attention on her breasts. His hands wander along the rest of her curves and the inside of her thighs. He can feel how wet she is. He lays waste to her underwear. He kisses her way down to her centre. She moans his name. He circles her clit with his tongue, the contact making Casey arch her back in pleasure. He starts off slowly savouring her taste and he quickens the pace, running his tongue through her folds and entering. Casey is moaning in pleasure. He moves his tongue back to her clit and he inserts two fingers.

“Oh god!” Screams Casey. Tobias sets a rigourous pace and before long she is starting to clench.

“Good girl, come for me Casey” he says before doubling down. She comes. Tobias laps her up. He comes up to kiss her again but before he can she sits up and gets him to lay down. She removes his boxers and marvels at his erect length. She knew she would have to adjust but she was looking forward to it. She straddles him and kisses him. She runs her centre up and down his shaft, causing him to hiss. She guides him in and slowly slides her way down, he allows her time to get used to his size.

“Fuck you are so tight” he says as she slowly rocks her hips. He thrusts up and Casey moans. The pace is not to rigourous at first and as Casey has gotten comfortable she ups the pace. It does not take long for Casey to start to feel close.

She leans down to kiss him, the change of angle Tobias enjoys and he steps up the pace. Casey starts to clench. Tobias moans. He keeps going at bat pace and Casey falls, screaming, her climax triggers his. When he exits Casey lays beside him, physically sated but also exhausted. She fell asleep. Tobias lay awake. He was not going to lie, the sex was incredible and he knew it was a one time deal. He waited for the regret to come, after all he knew she still loved Ethan but it did not come. In a way he was emotionally numb from the day’s events too. They both needed to feel and blow off steam and even though they both loved Ethan, they wanted to do what they did. He went to sleep.

Casey woke up first. It took a few seconds for her to realize she was not at home but at Tobias’s. She was at Tobias’s and she was naked. Then she realized that the day before was not a nightmare, it had happened and then she started to cry. Casey’s crying woke up Tobias and he asked her what was wrong.

“All the emotion I wanted to let out yesterday. I am sorry Tobias.”

“Sorry for what?” He says as he gets up and puts on a pair of pants and passes Casey her clothes.

“For taking advantage of you” says Casey quietly.

“For taking…” Tobias shakes his head. “You did not take advantage. I was in a way emotionally numb after the events of yesterday, it was a lot.”

“How is me fucking you when I still love my ex boyfriend not taking advantage Tobias? How am I any better than Ethan in our final days?”

Tobias takes a breath.

“For starters, when you kissed me awhile ago, I did state that I am not the relationship type, which I think helped us move forward as friends. What we did last night made sense to you, despite your feelings towards Ethan. If anything, we were letting off steam to try and feel what we wanted to feel but was too numb too and that we both felt safe in doing that.”

“So you are not mad at me… oh god, what if Ethan finds out?” Casey is now frantic.

“He knows we kissed, I told him the exact circumstances and how you do feel about him, I am still alive.”

“There is a big difference between kissing and fucking Tobias, even if it is a one time thing”

“Yes and unlike medical school, I know that you and Ethan are not together, despite your feelings and believe me, I want to see you guys work it out. The Ethan I glimpsed when I saw him at the softball game, during the attack and when we had coffee after was an Ethan I had never seen but glad existed.”

“I know you have been reluctant to see him, I get it after how you guys ended. He knows you care but I think he needs to see it.”

“And who is going to tell him about last night?”

“I will.”

Casey gets up and has a shower. Tobias makes her a coffee and some breakfast. She thanks Tobias and heads home. Still ashamed that she used a friend as an emotional punching bag but buoyed that Tobias did not hate her for it.

Tobias had a day off but he still went to the hospital. He went to Ethan’s room. He was happy to see him awake and not as hung over.

“You look well rested.” Said Tobias.

“Yes, the sedative helped.”

“Well I am glad, what are you researching?”

“Rehabilitation clinics.” Said Ethan

Tobias was shocked, he knew that Naveen had said he needed to start counseling but rehab seemed a bit much.

“You know that Naveen only mandated counseling right?”

“Yes but I know if I have a tough session, let’s face it, we know that will happen, unbottling 25 years of anger, self hatred, I do not want to be in an environment where I can easily access scotch to phelp me deal with any breakthroughs.”

“Valid point, but I think you will do better than you think.”

“I also want to do this properly. I have fucked things up with so many people.”

“You did not fuck up, you just did what you do best and pushed people away. I can only imagine how confronted you felt.”

“Yes and I pushed away the only woman I have truly loved.”

“Do you still love her”

“Yes, I do.”

“I know she does too, even after last night…”

“What happened…” Ethan wanted to be angry at Tobias but he was only angry at himself.

“We slept together. We were both all over the place emotionally after the funeral and seeing you in your state. She feels horrible about it, I told her I knew what I was getting myself into. I truly want to see you both work it out, the Ethan I saw before all of this is an Ethan I am glad exists.”

“I am actually not angry at you, I am… am angry at me, it is like I pushed her to you.”

“No you did not, if we had entered a relationship then yes you did but in honesty, for both of us, it was a safe place to blow off steam and to be able to feel the emotions were too numb to feel. I have asked her to come and see you. I think she needs to hear from you that you are going to rehab and that you want to be in a place where you want to work things out.”

Ethan nodded. Tobias then let him rest. He messaged Casey to let her know that Ethan was aware.

The afternoon came and Casey made her way to the VIP wing. She was apprehensive but Tobias was right, Ethan needed to see that she cared. He was awake when she arrived.

“Hello Casey” he said.

“Ethan, how are you?”

“I am better than what I was yesterday. I do have a vague memory of pushing you yesterday…”

“Yes you did physically push me but I am fine. There is not even a bruise.”

“I am sorry, so sorry for everything else Casey.” Ethan takes a breath. “I know now I should have confronted the issues earlier or even see her…”

“You were not ready Ethan and in honesty, you had your reasons.”

“She never hated me. I have lived a lie for 25 years.”

“But you had no way of knowing until you saw her, well read the message I suppose…”

“I will be going into rehab from here, Naveen will not let me back at work until I seek counseling but I want to heal properly and I feel that rehab will enable me to do so…” Ethan takes another breath. “I still love you Casey, I want us to work.

“Even after I slept with your ex best friend?”

“Yes,even then.”

Despite the tears, Casey smiles and squeezes his hand.

“Shall we start again after some counseling?”

“I would like that very much, Casey.”

After the mandated three days Ethan left for rehab. Ready and willing to start the journey to heal. Naveen was relieved, so was Alan but Casey was most relieved of all.

———-

Authors note: the last of the high angst. Next chapter will be rehab and the early days out and the final chapter will take in boards, end of residency and a bit of a time jump.

A word on Tobias and Casey, I know from when they kissed that I am not going to hear the end of it from some people. It was never going to be a relationship. As Casey said, this is the only thing making sense to me right now. At the end of the day, Casey knew where Tobias stood, Tobias knew where Casey was at. He made sure she knew she was in control and if she wanted to stop he would have.

Yes Ethan had every right to be pissed at Tobias but he knows he pushed Casey away so he is angry at himself, but at the end of the day, Tobias has been honest about what has happened and I think Ethan deep down appreciates this.

For those who have endured the angst thank you. I did promise a happy ending and it is coming in two parts

Tagging: @jerzwriter @jamespotterthefirst @genevievemd @cariantha @potionsprefect @liaromancewriter @alj4890 @a-crepusculo @bex-la-get @crazy-loca-blog @youlookappropriate @ofmischiefandmedicine @schnitzelbutterfingers @trappedinfanfiction @lucy-268 @tessa-liam @binny1985

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

If there is anyone I have missed or you wish to be added please let me know.

[hypnoswap]

90 days at the gym

Well the story starts with me doing my daily routine getting up having a protein shake heading for the gym for my early morning workout, This particular day I’m working out and this skinny kid named Josh walked up to me and asked me how to work a certain machine, he said it’s his first time in the gym so I told Josh no problem.

So I showed him how to use the sitting bench press machine , he thanked me and said with all those muscles I knew you would know how to use all this equipment,  I said thanks kid, if you need help with anything else feel free to come and get me no problem.  Here is a picture of Josh.

so about another month goes by and I ran into Josh at the gym still a skinny little kid trying to figure it out, I walked up to him and said hey how’s it going, he had a smile on his face,  like I was the only person that I ever talked to him. So I asked him if he wanted to work out with me today , I could get him into some routines, he said that would be great , so we did , chest and tricep workout that day he gave it all he had , I could tell he was getting worn out pretty quick and I can see everybody else in the gym sort of looking over at him talking behind his back,  at the end of the work out we headed into the locker room to change clothes, I walked up to Josh and said I could really help you out , I am a hypnotist I could give you incentives to make you work out harder , he looked at me with a little skepticism and said well I’ll give it a go, anything to try to help me from being a skinny little kid.

So as I was hypnotizing him giving him triggers and suggestions, a few other guys walked into the locker room looking on with interest , I told Josh that he’d wanting to hit the gym every day , that every time he lifted weights , he would feel great and have increased energy, that he felt he could lift more and more, after I finish the session I asked Josh how he felt , wow I feel wonderful , thanks I hope this works , I said no problem kid , so Josh headed out of the locker room and the other guys standing around started laughing. You think that’s gonna help that kid they commented, that kids never going to amount to anything he’s just so skinny. I said well do you want to make a little bet, they both replied yes. So I asked them what would you wanna bet and they said how about 100 bucks, now Ive seen Josh in the locker room, his dick and balls were really small I would say he was only around 1 inch soft, so I thought to myself if there’s going to be a new muscle stud , he’s going to need all his equipment upgraded , so I replied you guys have balls how about giving up half your manhood to Josh if you lose, They started laughing and said oh sure why not, knowing that can’t be possible , then asked what if we win , I said I give you each $500. After 90 days I bet you that kid will look amazing and he will put on at least 80 lbs of muscle, they looked at me like I was crazy, we shook hands and said bet is on.

Now at that point I said I’m gonna teach these guys a lesson , I took my warlock side and cast a spell on Josh that each time he came to the gym he would gain 1 pound of muscle for the next 90 days.

The next few days I met Josh at the gym I wanted him to get into routines to maximize his growth. Around five days later John and Dave the two guys that made the bet, we’re at the gym, I guess they were curious to see if there was any progress being made. Josh walked into the gym, took a picture of himself in the locker room, I could definitely see a little bit of improvement.

Josh was starting to tone up,his muscles were starting to grow , still John and Dave looked at Josh and really had no concern yet. Between the hypnosis Josh really had the passion to work out and he was working out really hard , to his maximum level for his size I just praised him and said look at the change and it hasn’t even been a week yet and he just smiled and thanked me. He sort of laughed and said I’m gonna keep working out hard until I’m bigger than you, and I said you probably will be even more than you think, and I just smiled.

When other week goes by Josh has been hitting the gym every day ,when he came in he wanted to take another transformation photo, I have to admit the kid was starting to look pretty good

While we where working out John and Dave walked into the gym looked over at Josh And noticed a difference ,but still not concerned they still thought they were going to win there bet. I walked over to them with a little giggle, are you nervous yet, John replied that kid has a long way to go there’s no way. I told John and Dave to come back in two weeks and tell me what they think. So a few weeks go by , Now you can really see the changes starting to happen to Josh he was looking pretty good

At this point he’s put on at least 30 pounds of muscle 50 to go., as we started our workout Dave and John walked over to us and took a look at Josh , and a big look of concern came on his face, he was almost in better shape than that John and Dave. Josh was so happy with himself right now he couldn’t believe the changes that were being made, we finished our workout walked into the locker room, we started the change as he stripped, he did look kind of awkward with that nice body and such a small dick. He’s sorta kept his hands over his manhood so I couldn’t see. I could tell he’s a little embarrassed at his size , he put on his underwear and I can see him flexing in the mirror and had a little hard-on, he couldn’t be more than 2 inches, he said to me , what good is all muscle gonna do with for me, i’ll probably still get laughed at by all the girls, I told him not to worry sometimes you get a late puberty growth especially when you gain a lot of muscle, he look confused and sad really, not knowing whether to believe me or not. I said sure I’ve seen it happen before, Josh said well I hope so and gave me a little smile.

Next thing you know another month went by Josh is still working really hard in the gym and becoming really impressive, I told him you’re looking amazing. You will be able to compete pretty soon. Josh was just flexing in the mirror and still couldn’t believe how big of a change he has made is such a short period of time, he kept posting pictures on Instagram and TickTock of his transformation he now had 10,000 followers, He took another pick up himself to post

The kid was really starting to grow, Again John and Dave came over and said, well kid you have gotten great gains, I got a hand it to you , I see you working out really hard. Josh replied thanks and the big smile came on his face , they looked at me and said by the looks of it , Josh still has to gain about 20 pounds of muscle. And with all that size he’s gained already , he’s probably peek out,I doubt if he will ever make it. I just replied this kid has a lot of energy and guts he’s going to make it . Hope you don’t miss half of your dick and balls. Again they just thought I was crazy, they thought they were a no lose situation no matter what happened.

Well at the end of the 90 days we’re all at the gym waiting for Josh he shows up John and Dave just stood there with their mouth open and couldn’t believe how big he’s gotten ,they made him get on the scale to weigh him. He actually did gain 90 pounds of muscle , 10 more than he needed to win the bet.

John and Dave said well looks like we lost , looks like you don’t have to pay us , they started to walk away , I replied aren’t you forgetting something, time for you to pay up , as I cast my spell and them. All of a sudden Josh could feel a surge of energy in his crotch , and his dick started to expand his balls started to fill up with Testosterone I can see him starting to get a big bulge in his gym shorts it kept getting bigger and bigger, Josh couldn’t contain himself he was hard as a rock as he kept expanding through his waistband up past his shorts, Josh headed for the lock room just to cover himself as I looked over at John and Dave I said wow you guys must’ve been big boys it won’t hurt you to lose half of your manhood . As they can feel underneath , their dicks were shrinking , no way this can’t be possible , they ran into the locker room and dropped their shorts watching their dicks shrink and their balls go down to the size of peanuts, Josh had to be at least a foot long his balls were the size of tennis balls he couldn’t help but grab it and play with it he was so hard he looked up himself in the mirror and just shot a load all over the mirror rope after rope, he looked proud , but also embarrassed but at this point I don’t think he cared , he looks so amazing.  I looked at Josh and said I think my job is done here, I think you can work out on your own , now I’ll leave the triggers from Hipnosis with you , so you’ll keep working out to keep that great body of yours , he laughed and said I’ll never let this body go. He came over to thank me once again, give me a big hug as I could feel his huge muscle and bulge pressed against my body it was pretty impressive I must admit. I told everyone goodbye. Now onto my next trick.