#everyone is so fucking annoying tbh with performative activism this and that

[beachesgetpeaches]

saw a few posts be like "but why did the people mag have to state she was not swayed by fans wtf"

bcs she wants you to know that you cant bully her in or out of her private relationships (be it romantic or platonic), but no one is picking up on that.

you've been told you were wrong (whether it's bcs you don't have all the facts, or any other reason) twice so far:

the "ive never been happier" - which could have been anything; her addressing Joe breakup cryptically and hoping people would stop hoping he'd do something, her addressing Matty rumours and how she is happy (and between the lines we don't know the whole story), or just trying to get everyone to back off speculating about her private life...

and now with this people sentence/quote/statement you are once again being told that the level of energy you've directed there has been misplaced, for whatever reason. be it that matty healy is not in fact all these horrible things you have all decided to call him, or that it wasn't that serious, or maybe it was serious but there was no need for such public vitriol.

either way - I think thats what that people magazine statement was for. to very indirectly say "hey guys that was fucked up". but as always, there are people going "wtf why would they put that out as well"... it's for you.

[multi-kpop-fanfics]

Can you do rivals to lovers. Idol!wonwoo x idol!y/n (she's a leader) both are dom and rivals from trainee period in same company... Sounds so kinky amd steamy to me👀btw love your blog ❤️ - xoxo

tw: idol!wonwoo, idol!reader (fem), rivals to lovers!au, sexual tension, implied kissing, reader is implied to be shorter than wonwoo, cursing, wonwoo is being a little shit tbh - minors dni.

"Good work today, everyone! Let's rest well for the next performance, okay?"

"Okay!" You hear an enthusiastic reply from your fellow members, beaming with excitement for the upcoming group activities.

You're still buzzing with adrenaline from the comeback stage, a bit worried about whether you'll be able to sleep properly, but it's not enough to stop you from smiling.

You walk in the corridors of the building, gently greeting any passerby staff or idol, be it senior or junior to you. As soon as you turn around the corner to search for the restrooms, you bump into a taller and quite muscular figure.

"O-Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-" You bow profusely, feeling embarrased for not looking.

"Aw, what a great junior, aren't you? Behaving so well towards your senior."

The familiar deep timbre has you on high alert and you instantly straighten your back, your earlier smile completely wiped off your face.

"You."

"Yeah, it's me. Long time no see, huh, Y/N?"

"Why are you here?" You cross your arms defensively.

"Haven't you heard? We just had a comeback and it's already a hit." The man boasts with a smug smirk.

"Sorry, I was busy preparing for my group's comeback. I don't exactly have time to pay attention to other groups."

"That's a shame. You'd love Maestro - I dare say my MV shots would be to your liking."

"What do you want, Wonwoo?" You sigh.

"Hmm, I think that's not how you should address me." Wonwoo places his hand under his chin, pretending to be thinking.

"Cut the crap, we're the same age."

"Ever the clawy one. But it was always part of your charm." He leans closer to you, but you don't waver.

"Nice, you actually have a good memory. Now step aside, I wanna go to the restrooms." You try to push him aside, but he catches you by your wrist.

"But we're having such a nice conversation, don't you think?" He grins.

"No, I actually don't." You spit back.

"Oh, but what have I ever done to you, Y/N? Is it because I got to debut before you?"

"Just because I appreciate your group for the standards you've created doesn't mean I have to appreciate you specifically." You pull your hand back.

"Maybe if you let me kiss you, you'd appreciate me a bit more." Wonwoo chuckles, "Because I'd love to kiss your pretty damn face right now - just to shut you up, though."

"In your goddamn dreams, Jeon."

He leans closer and gently cages you between the wall and his body.

"What a great dream would that be, right?"

"Back off, someone will see us any moment now!" You plant your palms on his chest, using your full strength to push him away. But he doesn't budge an inch.

"No need to be so damn scared, Y/N." He pulls away immediately, "Besides, I'd never want to get caught up in dating rumors with you."

"So much for wanting to kiss me, I guess." You scoff, "Still the same loser when you were a kid."

You walk away from Wonwoo with quick steps, trying your best to calm yourself down.

You can't help but think how infuriatingly handsome and talented he has grown over the years - but also annoying as fuck. Towards you, at least.

Little did you know, the exact same thoughts run laps inside Wonwoo's head as he watches you walk down the corridor.

Kissing you won't be the only thing he'll dream of tonight.

[harley-style]

Back on my TWEWY!VBS au bullshit

Featuring headcanons post-Game!!

Toya is less reserved and does things without a hint of shame to the embarrassment of the others

He randomly kisses his teammates (akito corner of mouth, kohane's fingers, an's cheeks) just to see them redden. He enjoys it immensely.

Hes still rlly kind and earnest and genuine but the game kinda fucked with him yanno he's adopted a yolo kinda mindset

Akito is more or less settled in his own skin. Hes had to get some help from others but ultimately he realizes that even without his passion/dream or talent, he is still a very good person and someone important to his team. Hes more of a live for the people you love kinda guy now

Hes still temperamental and moody but around his team he's less harsh and moreso just blunt

When hes embarrassed, he will find kohane first to bury his head in her hair, if he cant find her its an's shoulder, and when those two arent around toya's jacket it is. (Toya does most of the teasing to him, so more than likely akito's trying to hide from him)

An turns up the physical affection a lot. You will now see her hanging off toya and akito's shoulders, linking arms with kohane or just in general having an arm wrapped around their waists

Shes scared if she lets go of them theyll disappear haha abandonment issues go brrrrr

She likes changing up her hairstyle a lot, and lets kohane and akito mess with it. Kohane likes brushing an's hair a lot

Kohane goes nonverbal a lot bc she forgets she has her voice again

When it happens in a show she somehow finds a way to make sure the audience is still engaged haha. She might force herself to make sounds just to backup their song vocals, but this is rare. An akito and toya can tell when she cant speak so taking over her lines is seamless

Though toya once done goofed by doing his funky kohane voice like he does in the hollow song. He thought itd be funny....akito didnt talk to him for a day

All four of them get odd when ppl ask them about their incident and the one week hospitalization

Toya is the most normal, you ask him about it and he just goes quiet and doesnt want to talk about it. Its like attributed to a regular trauma response, bc to everyone else vbs DID nearly die so like.

Akito kinda avoids the issue. When ena corners him about it he shifts to his more polite persona except its jarring bc you can feel him glaring at you. Ena of course is confrontational so another fight breaks out between them

An gets super weird. She starts acting like Nagi -- it was never noticeable at first but the longer she did it ppl started to get concerned.

Kohane suddenly goes Akito Mode, getting all grumpy and huffy haha. Just dont ask about the game to her, it wont end well

Did i mention Joshua becomes Toya's music teacher? Harumichi goes bug eyed at this bc Joshua is kinda famous with classical musicians. That toya managed to ask him for lessons is insane. He starts thinking that toya is back on the classical music grind

Joshua shoots that down pretty quick and says hes a music teacher, not a classical only teacher. Hes got a condition for toya to come to him for lessons, and thats to continue his activities with VBS and succeed at them. Harumichi is stunned lmao

Kohane pesters Neku a lot, as more visually creative people. He helps her create a tag for VBS bc surprise graffitti artist kohane wheeee

She has An or Akito spot her a lot.

No one knows if VBS is dating or not and tbh neither do they, they just like being close.

Akito gets annoyed with some of the reaper uniforms and drags mizuki to help him redesign them (mizuki doesnt know about reapers lol)

An learns breakdancing! She puts a blush on her partners' faces everytime she makes a move, bc goddamn An is fucking gorgeous

They all take commissions and requests from shibuya to perform haha. Ken is surprised when some well known person goes into Weekend Garage to ask specifically for VBS

Ken somehow also becomes their manager. An has tried to tell him he doesnt have to, they can manage, but goddamnit Ken nearly lost his daughter and her friends (ppl he considers his own kids at this point) he really doesnt want to let them out of his sight

The SEKAI changes too. Its still a street sekai, but now there are more...people, kinda? Like in stage sekai theres an audience, the livehouses in Street Sekai have audiences too, which delight the vocaloids

Somehow there are also shops and stores containing the kids' interests

The changes are honestly due to the influences the twewy cast has on VBS. Their souls are unnaturally strong, so some part of their soul latches onto the VBS squad and sorta imprints on the sekai.

Its like fragment sekais but it anchors to the street sekai itself so it becomes stable

So now VBS goes exploring their sekai a lot. Kohane likes going to the rooftops, toya tours the livehouses, an and akito go through the stores

[locklylemybeloved]

are you still a swiftie?

complicated answer tbh

i am very much still a taylor swift listener. i love her music. i connect to a lot of it. certain parts of the fandom are still AMAZING and genuinely some of the loveliest, sweetest, most creative and kindest people i've met on here.

that being said. there are a lot of really toxic swifties. i tried to stay away from them even as a hardcore diehard swiftie but its impossible. a lot of the fandom feels so toxic and hard to be in because it feels so high maintenance. so much is expected of you. i don't like that.

also. as for taylor herself. i have a lot of love and awe for her in some aspects. what she's created musically and culturally is incredible. the eras tour was truly the best performance i've ever been lucky enough to see live. she is a musical powerhouse and i think her ability to transcend a lot of misogyny and shitty people -- especially since she got big around the 2010s -- provides a lot of hope and inspiration for a lot of people (including me!!)

that being said she is still a privileged white person. this is not something she can change. that is ok. white ppl do not suck because they are white. the problem is when things like white girl feminism, performative activism, and blatant hypocrisy come up.

especially having a political activism era, going completely silent and then profiting off of that is not ok to me. i get that celebrities are not the golden standard for political activism, but if u are going to claim to be an activist. be an activist. yes, silent support is sometimes necessary (donations or whatever. i get its probably annoying to be questioned whether or not you do something. "oh she's doing too much" "oh she's not doing enough") but again. if you are going to claim activism and draw in a larger crowd and have ppl defend you because of that, you have to actually act on your words. performative activism just. it really annoys me.

furthermore, certain things she can't help and i get that. if her boyfriend is on the cheifs she's allowed to support him. but idk the cheifs supporting israel is really shitty. sure she's allowed to date whomever she wants but as a human being everyone has the responsibility to be a good person especially if you live in the public eye. matty healy was genuinely a terrible person, whether she dated him or not, and associating and openly supporting those kinds of people is never ok.

not even mentioning the fact that she claims to really really care about her fans but didn't say anything about pride until pride month, even when her trans fans were yknow being fucking harassed at her shows for their bathroom choice.

anyways there's a lot to unpack, and i don't think anything is every truly black and white. i'm absolutely not saying she's a terrible person. she is also not the most amazing person to ever live. (and i get that's ok i mean i sure as hell am not perfect and my grammy count is 0)

(also i think ppl who hate taylor swift for no other reason than they hate pop music should go fuck themselves. or just yk 'cause she's mainstream or whatever. there's a difference between being able to critique her/not liking her music so just living ur life and attacking and bringing her down)

also she's so fucking gorgeous like yeah i'll admit it she's azshfjwe,zthgfiueak,jsmngtuflhkajwem,zsf

also, i have just in general become way less obsessed with her personal life bcs genuinely i don't care. and that's ok. travis kelce does not interest me (but if he does interest you that's also ok!!! you're allowed to care about whatever you want as long as you do not invade anyone's privacy or treat anyone without basic human respect unless they don't deserve it)

so to answer your question fully: it's complicated :)

[fmdjaewonarchive]

hey besties, ya girl jamie here with a quick plot call for the current event. this one is gonna be long as usual so i’ll detail what all four of my idiots are doing below the cut! there should be a good variety of things so there should be smth to work with for everyone. ofc i’m more than open to any ideas that anyone else has. if u wanna plot just like this post or hmu in the ims/on d*sc*rd: yujeong hand in marriage pls#5703 .

jaewon: 

he’s staying in bungalow c and yeah... not gonna lie he’ll probably spend a bunch of time there whenever he’s not expected somewhere, not like jaewon ever goes anywhere he doesn’t have to be

june 10: he’s teaching a songwriting class at the local community center so like anyone that is present hit him up (this was a terrible idea btw, jaewon’s english is abysmal and he’ll suffer but whtvr)

june 11: he’ll probably check out the foodtruck festival, nothing too crazy

june 11: he’s performing at the pop-up concert (performing jasmine, fiancé, run away and lost in a crowd) i’d love to do something with other performers

june 11: he’ll probably forego the pool party, jaewon isn’t too big on parties (or getting drunk in front of other idols, rip the halloween party) and he’s trying to micro-manage unity less so he’s not likely to attend (tho he might be swayed if anyone really wants him there)

june 12 & 13: both concert days he mainly focuses on the concert. he’s kinda annoyed about having to perform jopping, also a lil hmh about unity not performing kick it but it shouldn’t make him more disgruntled than usually? tho he’ll still be a bit annoyed

yuanjun:

he’s staying in villa b and rip to everyone there because he Will be a menace about it. he’s not looking for a roommate tho cuz he and jaeyeol are gonne wreck havoc together, rip everyone there

that being said he’s probably also frequently over at villa e for the sole purpose of annoying his boyfriend so catch him around there too

june 9: he’s doing a fan makeover and he’s absolutely over the moon about it, we all know yuanjun loves fashion and make-up things

june 10: also participating in the dance class, go off nation’s main dancer (im kidding ofc) but yeah he will be in his element and eager to have fun w the other ppl present

june 11: at the foodtruck festival, someone pls make the mistake of offering to buy him food and watch him work through an absolute impossible amount of food

june 11: he will be watching the softball game and rooting for the blue team (and oggling his boyfriend in the process) anyone willing to come hang out with him is more than welcome!!

june 11: also DEFINITELY going to the private pool party and honestly, i rlly want to have yuanjun going stupid crazy, he only needs like three drinks to get fucked up anyway so this is gonna be fun. come cause chaos w him, or attempt to reel him in, either one goes

 june 12: he’ll def be hungover the next morning, offer him some helpful advice maybe? 

june 12: luckily he has the rest of the day off and he’ll be back on his cheery bullshit by the time concert rehearsals and the concert rolls around (this applies to june 13 as well, he’s just glad to be here man)

minah:

staying at bungalow d, as im writing this still all by herself but i’m sure that will change soon enough anyway!

june 9: taking a floral dessign and arrangment class cuz she’s a wholesome lil hag, i love her for that

june 10: has a lot of free time on her hands, probably spends a lot of it calmly hanging around her bungalow, maybe writing some songs, but also just spending time with friends who prefer a calmer day in as well

june 11: most definitely attends the food truck festival, will buy people meals 

june 11: also will probably attend the softball game to be a supportive friend, not rooting for any team in particular, theyre all winners!!! 

june 11: most definitely will forego the pool party, the sole exception of her coming near that place is to pick up drunk friends if they text her they need help to get back to their accomodation

june 12 & 13: eager for the concerts like you’d expect from minah, truly just happy to be here, even if she wished they’d get to perform some bigger, older hits, even if just one (genie > news)

june 13: also partaking in the busking event, i’m super excited for this one, down for any sort of little collabs and duets so any muns partaking pls do hmu!!!

yena: 

villa a ladies this is gonna be funnnn!! for yena at least, she’s just here to be drunk and look hot at the poolside. she does however still need a roommate tho, just saying

june 9: participating in the fashion show cuz shes a model who models!!! god this pretty bitch rlly will be in her element just walking around looking EXPENSIVE

june 9: probably goes to the open mic night to ‘support the other idols’ aka drink cocktails, she can multi task okay

june 10: will be spend in the villa lazing by the pool i do Not make the rules

june 11: im rlly not set on any of the afternoon activities, she might go to the foodtruck festival + softball game if it lines up for a thread but otherwise its also far to assume she didn’t bother

june 11: she IS however attending the pool party, dear lord as if yena would ever let that go, truly just here to look hot and get drunk, when does she ever do anything else

june 12: does have the billboard pictorial shoot in the morning and she’s definitely hungover showing up there but that’s okay she makes it work

june 12: still hungover by the time the concert creeps around and tbh cuz she doesn’t care for the concert she will do the Bare Minimum, as nam yena does

june 13: this time she’s not hungover but she still doesn’t wanna be here so truly, what’s the difference!

[inkyfishesii]

for the fic writers ask (because I adore your writing): 10, 11, 17, 18 and 19 <3

;_____; thank you franger this is super sweet of you to say

10. Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

Ooh, they're all quite interchangable, really! My favourite part of writing is editing the exposition after the whole thing is finished. I go back over a whole fic and then putting in little through-lines. Like in Going Down, I had an echo of "going up / going down" which I added about half-way through when I realised drug use would be a good metaphor for heaven/hell.

"Yeah, yeah." Hugo exhaled around the cigarette, clasping it between his teeth. He wrangled something out of his jacket. Julian ran over, hands outstretched, just short of chanting gimmie-gimmie. "But if you’re going up, I’m going down. You’re fucking infuriating when you’re rolling."

And then...

"But if I’m going down, he’s got to be going up." Julian fought against the instinct to tighten his fingers in the Captain’s hair. "When he’s ready, of course. It’s my only condition, and I’m afraid it’s absolute. Do we have a deal?"

No fucking idea if any reader noticed tbh, but I love when I notice that kind of shit in stuff I read.

11. If you could only write angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your life, which would it be?

Angst, I think. I like writing smut, but it's not as satisfying to get right. I'm not that into fluff; the show's fluffy enough!

17. What fic are you most proud of?

Augh, overall it's probably "Universal Truths" which is my Big Bang for Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (rip). It's the longest thing I've ever written and has a somewhat coherant plot, so there's some pride there. I'm usually a crash-and-burn participant in Big Bangs.

For BBC Ghosts, it's probably Performative, just cause everyone liked it so much :3

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

/_\ so embarrassing to be proud. I just scanned through Performative at random to something that I don't absolutely hate and it's probably this bit:

There was a sound from far away; familiar voices shouting which indicated something was happening. Julian could see the tension rise in the Captain's shoulders as he whipped his head around to follow the noise. Being called into active service once again.

Julian was quite happy to let it all happen without him, to take a day off from being part of the collective. He moved to settle back into the bench, but stopped as the Captain cleared his throat to speak.

"If this was my time. We would have never attended such a party as that."

The Captain hadn't turned back around, so he was facing the other direction, toward the noise. But he was speaking so clearly to Julian, it felt more intimate than if he had been whispering it into his ear. Julian held himself, midway between sitting and standing, suspended in the moment, unwilling to break it.

"There - perhaps - wouldn't have been anywhere to go. There was a war on. And it wasn't. Well. It was what it was. We could have gone to the pictures, I fancy. Or walking in the forest with the dogs. It wouldn't have been glamorous. But I think. Perhaps. You may have enjoyed the truth in it all. Would have been happier with the fight outside your head, rather than in it."

DVD commentary: I struggle a lot with the Captain's characterisation, partly because I usually gravitate towards characters who are very open and loud with their feelings and he's deeeeeeeeeeeply repressed, but this is a bit where I really think I nailed it.

I knew the Captain needed to offer an olive branch, to crack open just a little of himself to Julian, but he's such a closed character that it had to be just the tiniest glimpse. I also don't like creating too much backstory for the Captain - I think part of his character is how little you know, plus I get irrationally annoyed when canon comes along to steamroll over my fanon (OH HI THERE SERIES 3 JULIAN DEATH, HOWS IT GOING), so I try to avoid speculation as far as possible. The only thing I've made up here is that he has dogs and he went to movies - not exactly a reach. It just gives the reader a little hint of that idealised 1930/40s England.

He's not looking at Julian, so we get the impression that he's effectively talking to himself, with Julian (and the reader) as an audience. The alternative past he describes is less "this is a world Julian and I could have had" and more "this is a world I could have had". It's probably something he used to daydream about with Havers - Julian certainly doesn't fit into this perfect past.

I think the final line is the strongest one I've written for a long time. The Captain used the war as a focus so he didn't have to deal with his own turmoil - it was and still is his sanctuary ;_;

19. Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

As per the above, the Captain! Partly because the knowledge I have about that time period is from a childhood watching Dad's Army, 'Allo 'Allo and Goodnight Sweetheart, which are all extremely light-hearted and don't exactly prepare ones self for the kind of deep-digging angst I like writing.

Plus, this language of the military is absolutely beyond me, and I feel like you need to weave all that in for a level of authencitity? Compared to Julian - as I have established I Know Far Too Much About Parliament - I am dripping with tidbits and references I can drop into his speech or internal musings to make his personality feel fuller. Like "the division bell" or "being three-line whipped" or "consituency Fridays" or "John Major shtooping Edwina Currie". I have absolutely none of that for the Captain and it fucks me off something royal.

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Wife’s Hilda Rewatch - The Black Hound

Girls, gays, and goths. The time has come for my last rewatch post months after the official hilda rewatch was done lmao! Also the moment I’m writing this I literally just came out of my last exam for this trimester, so I’m super happy and in the mood for taking a look at The Black Hound!

First off I think it would be a shame not to appreciate that the opening frame has the bisexual flag colour scheme. Bisexuals chose such pretty colours for their flag that Hilda keeps using it and it’s amazing

“you’re not a crazy rumor after all! You’re real!” Hilda sweetie there’s a giant dog looking at you like you’re a full course meal, please check your priorities

Okay hold up. Kelly pushed Frida to the Hound and said “last to join, first to get eaten”. And then they all disappeared. Why the hell did they have to use a bait instead of just disappearing? Like, they didn’t have to throw a kid to the Hound, they could just go away.

Talk about true friendship, huh?

Bless the Raven leader for being such a competent leader, because were I in her situation I’d just run around screaming “WAKE THE FUCK UP CHILDREN, OR WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE” and reck havoc on the camp.

It’s so surprising to me that telling Hilda that if she went to look for Tontu she wouldn’t be allowed to go on future camping trips… from what we know about her personality, she usually risks it all to help defenseless creatures. And although I’m not blaming her for not going after him that instant (there was A GIANT DOG on the lose, I wouldn’t even have thought about leaving the camp) I wonder if she chose that so as not to disappoint her mother. I mean, Johanna has shown that Hilda’s experience with the Sparrow Scouts is important to her (and even though Johanna only cares about her enjoying it, the way she talks about it makes Hilda think that she wants her to have a good performance), and if she wasn’t allowed to go to future camping trips, not only would Johanna know, but in Hilda’s mind she’d also be disappointed. Just something to think about.

“It’s never a good idea to throw away your real friends” Wow. Frida called Kelly a fake friend to her face and I’m very proud of her. But this scene also gives me a spark of sympathy for Kelly?

Ya know, a little piece of tmi, I still have my equivalent of a “fluff bun”. And it kinda says something to me that Kelly is still attached to hers. It shows that there is still some innocence and child-like happiness in her. She did terrible things just in these last two episodes (and tbh she annoys me), but maybe if we get more of the marra in season two we’ll find out what made them all so bitter when they clearly aren’t all bad.

Kinda reminds me of how my father says “if everyone still walked around with their sleeping plushies, the world would be a better place”. I’m not sure where I was going with all this, but uhh never let anyone make you feel bad for having a fluff bun of your own, listen to my dad and keep being childishly happy about things for as long as you can.

Hold up

… do with this information what you will

____________________

STOP for a few seconds. This is the “let’s appreciate the Hilda colour pallete” time

Thank you for your attention. Now back to the episode.

__________________

I feel so sorry for Hilda here. We all know Johanna is an amazing mother, but really the way she put things here makes it sound like Hilda doing well on Sparrow Scouts activities is a condition for her being proud. And it really must weigh a lot on Hilda, because she was took from the situation she was familiar with, living in the wilderness, and thrown into this completely new scenario and now she feels that not only does she need to adapt well, which we saw her do during this season, she also must excel in activities that are typically done by people who grew up in that environment. Good thing this gets resolved quickly.

Imagine being Johanna… and coming home to find the monster everybody’s been looking for… and your daughter tells you “this is Jellybean :)!”

I mean of course I ship sketchbook, who else could handle a witch girlfriend?

I know I shouldn’t but I’m very 👀👀 at that hunter in the background, the one with an eye patch. More pretty evil woman in season 2? 👀👀👀

This scene is my everything. Honestly, every single parent in the world could take a lesson from Johanna. Get on this woman’s level, guys.

Why

Why was the Woodman just casually looking at Hilda’s destroyed house? Like… he was just… there… whistling…

But at least he was the reason why we got one of the most beautiful (if not the most) scenes of the show. This ending NEVER fails to make me emotional. It carries such an important message. You won’t get a reward for it. Sometimes it will even bite back at you. But never let the world stop you from being kind. That’s the most powerful message of this show and whatever comes out of season two, at least we had these 13 masterpieces of episodes.

Now let’s go for one last

Wife’s Hilda Rewatch

+2 for David being the voice of reason when they’re running away

+2 for Frida apologizing

+10 for Johanna/Hilda relationship depth

+2 for“This is what I look like when I’m grateful”

+2 for Tomtu reading books in the trash bin… and turning… the wrong page (as in left to right)

+2 for “So… I guess he sort of ate them.”

+5 for that gorgeous ending

Yep, that’s 25 unless exams fried my brain too hard!

Also one last time because I Haven't done this since The Bird Parade!

Background wlw count:

1

2!

Come on, y’all knew I had to make that joke. If I was worse I’d get a picture of Johanna and the huntress as well

Yep, that’s it! Now we sit around and wait for season two I guess :’)

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tommy

Ali: I am SO glad this holiday centres around drinking beyond reason

Tommy: Me too, like, But why are you?

Ali: I wouldn’t even wanna get into it if it weren’t for the fact I couldn’t with her

Ali: Obvious clue is obvious

Tommy: Oh darling, Kitty, what’s she done now?

Ali: It’s not even what she’s done

Ali: It’s her total lack of desire to try

Ali: I know I shouldn’t take it personally and it’s symptomatic of the bigger picture

Ali: But that’s the problem, it’s so hard to watch, to see it so clearly when she has no front to put up

Tommy: Yeah, it always puts a lovely, thick layer of extra dread onto my homecoming

Tommy: the regularly scheduled updates are bad enough & it’s not like I can do more for being back under the same roof

Ali: Oh God, please don’t start, it’s like no one wants to be here, pure depressing, like

Ali: That’s how I ended up feeling, it wasn’t like she wanted to come but you know, anxiety, strangers etc

Ali: Because my suggestions to alleviate those problems were shot STRAIGHT down

Ali: So she just doesn’t want to

Ali: but not just that, I should feel like shit for going and leaving her alone...which put like that, should I? I don’t even know now

Tommy: Honey, fuck that! I’ve had to veto Fi going full Elphaba on all our faces so that diva maybe this close to not, but there’s no stopping me, Will, Gwen or Steph 🥳🥳🥳

Tommy: she’s getting worse, I dunno what any of us are meant to do

Tommy: other than being certain that I’m not gonna let you have an utter shit time

Tommy: That’s what she wants, that way you’ll stay with her forever 💀🥀🕷🕸

Ali: Nice to hear some genuine enthusiasm, which is fecking ridiculous considering this is apparently every fucker’s fave holiday as standard, I swear everyone but Da is in a right mood atm

Ali: Thank God that everyone’s gotta let tourists be tourists for the 💸🤑 or your mates would need some serious babysitting 😏

Ali: Little green men is fully my groupies’ aesthetic so you’re welcome to out yourself any time, like

Ali: I dunno, I mean, she’ll be alright won’t she? It’s a fairly long sesh, I know…

Ali: Hence my life’d be a lot easier if she’d come for a bit but there we go

Tommy: My honoured guests have got it in spades & buckets tbh 🧶🧚‍♀️🍀🎩🌈 dress up is already well underway just can’t let ‘em also start 🚗💣🍺🥃 or they won’t last to see it in

Tommy: cba to stick in it a 🍼 you know

Tommy: how many groupies you got now? Only 👏 while it’s still underground, avant-garde & super niche, naturally

Tommy: What’s she got planned? Other than putting a 💔 hex on you and Carls

Ali: Sensible

Ali: And not in a scrooge debbie downer kinda way

Ali: Found out the tents for yous to sleep in but I’m taking ‘em out first

Ali: 🌄 are calling, obvs

Ali: Naturally 🙄 just don’t click instead that shit is TOO pretentious even for your lot

Ali: She said she was WELL busy, but you know, the usual I imagine 📚💭

Ali: Drew won’t pay her no attention way too busy with the tourists etc 💸🤑

Tommy: 👍 cheers 😸👼 you are

Tommy: 🍀 are calling, is what you mean

Tommy: 🙄 be a waste of a 🙏 I know it’s 1 of her other highly rated activities, like, but still, I don’t need to imagine the two of ‘em getting together rn

Ali: They make NO sense

Ali: Unless his thing is dating a girl like his sister, in place of the standard wanting a mum 2.0, which understandably is not his vibe

Ali: Suspect don’t cover it but we’ll see

Tommy: It’d make more sense if I dumped Will for Fi & suss wouldn’t cover that & that’s a NO from us all

Tommy: Excuse you whore! That’s Meena slander

Ali: You know what I mean though

Ali: Where did this come from, like 🤯

Tommy: 🤯 over straight boy behaviour since forever

Ali: I usually find them so boringly easy

Ali: not the brag it sounds

Ali: I’d rather get her again… I’d know what to do, before

Ali: It was safety, for her and us

Tommy: Before she would’ve followed you anywhere, you can’t keep her safe if she ain’t even gonna try to meet you halfway at anything

Ali: Like you said, nothing to be done, I suppose

Ali: At least today

Ali: I’m going to mass with her, she’s helping to set up, it’s something

Tommy: & I’ll squeeze in a 1 on 1 for me & her before I leave 🩰👒🎹🎤✨

Ali: Tah

Ali: If only getting people to spend time with her was the issue

Ali: Be fully booked if she wanted

Tommy: But like you said, it’s something & if anyone can talk her out of an unsuitable romance, it’s me 🧚🏼‍♂️

Tommy: don’t have your track record

Tommy: there’s at least a chance she’ll take my advice about doing better than a dealer 🤞 now I’ve got myself the “happy ending” of decent hair & only petty crime

Ali: None of my romances have been unsuitable

Ali: You underestimate how discerning her taste is when it comes to other people’s partners

Ali: He might not be Carly levels of demon but don’t mean you’ll find a nice word to be said, like

Tommy: put your claws away, Kit, talking Ro’s POV, Carls is my angel

Tommy: & I guarantee I’ve heard worse than she can dish from the other bitchy ballerinas who couldn’t get their 💅 in first

Tommy: simply not quaking, sorry

Ali: Just saying, if it were that easy, it’d be done by now

Tommy: just saying, I’ve not taken a turn yet

Ali: If there’s any day for luck…

Ali: It ain’t one where she’s decided to be in the worst mood ❌🍀

Tommy: I’ve only got the weekend, like

Ali: I understand her a bit better than that tah

Ali: as well as the appeal of prohibition

Ali: the more everyone weighs in on her being wrong, the more bolstered she feels in how right she actually is

Ali: one fuckboy mistake she’ll have to learn from

Tommy: & I don’t? PLEASE 🙄 No notes needed for this performance

Ali: She always gets worse when Bea comes back

Ali: I’ll be the one dealing when you all fuck off again

Tommy: I know

Tommy: so let me deal with her this time, Will, Gwen & Fi have all been here enough & they’ve got each other

Ali: Sorry, the moods catching

Tommy: She can run but the house ain’t grown any new hiding places & I remember ‘em all

Ali: She’s still small enough to fit in all the gaps and cracks, you less so

Ali: Anything is worth a shot

Ali: The party will be enough, loads of my mates are coming, yours won’t get bored 🤞

Tommy: True but when she gets in one she ain’t got the strength to get to another quick as I can 🐁🩰

Tommy: yeah, yeah the party don’t stop when I walk out, I know ☹️😏

Tommy: & Carls isn’t just my angel, she’ll save that bit of the day if needs

Ali: Tourists love St Paddy’s

Ali: and no one does it better than da

Tommy: if I were gonna disagree it’d only be to annoy him

Ali: @ the family group chat for that hilarious bants, Tommo

Tommy: 🐻👈

Tommy: 1st time I’ve used those not as a euphemism? Oh definitely

Ali: Please, you’re a couple of 🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼‍♂️s

Tommy: Tah, Darling

Tommy: flattery will get you an invite to the next teddy bears picnic

Ali: Bit rude to Carly that you think that’s my type

Ali: no 🧔s here

Tommy: It’s not me trying drive a wedge, she’s invited too

Ali: Thoughtful 😏

Tommy: You shall go to the ball

Ali: Glass shoes is an idea… 🤔

Tommy: One way to keep hold of your drink or stop a fight

Ali: Me and my shoes are keeping well out of any more fights, fuck that

Tommy: What is your outfit plan then?

Ali: I’ve got all the material to construct it now, I think

Ali: See what it comes out like 🤷‍♀️✨

Tommy: Fi don’t believe you can top last year’s

Ali: I love a challenge and a chance to impress, obviously

Tommy: chop chop 😼

Tommy: shameless distraction tactic I’m throwing at you, who?

Ali: Christ knows I’m running out of time with the to-do list never ending, hey ho

Tommy: Same tbh

Tommy: we’d better get back to it 🧹🎃

Ali: Fuck being a middle kid, right? 💔

Tommy: Honestly

Ali: You know what you’re getting Rocky yet, speaking of the little shit

Tommy: Probably that bow with the glowing arrows that stick to windows & shit, he keeps seeing the ad & reckons they’ll fly over the house

Ali: Alright, going for 🥇 sib, fair play 👏

Tommy: Sure you’ll have me beat with whatever you’re planning

Ali: I’ll think of something

Ali: Once this is all out the way

Ali: If ma will let us, we’ll take him camping with his 🏹

Tommy: Once all the 🍬🍫🧁🎂🧃 hits she’ll be glad to be rid

Ali: not the baby though 🙄

Tommy: thank god for daddy’s girl, yeah?

Tommy: you’ll never lose that 👑

Ali: try as you might, yeah yeah 😉

Tommy: 😏

[lvllns]

otp tag!

oh holy shit this was a whole thing. i was tagged by @rosebarsoap​, @solasan​, @impossible-rat-babies​, and i’m sure others but my activity feed is a disaster i’m sorry if i missed u. thank y’all for the tags!!

pretty sure everyone has been tagged at this point? i can’t keep track anymore, my brain is mush. if you wanna do this, you’re tagged now!

DISAGREEMENTS. Who is more likely to raise their voice?: Neither of them. At most, they get a hard edge to their voice or speak in clipped tones. It's always about risks being taken.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?: NEITHER OF THEM. There is no way Sparrow or Mason would ever do that.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?: NOBODY LEAVES.

Who trashes the house?: Who the fuck? NEITHER OF THEM!

Do either of them get physical?: NO.

How often do they argue/disagree?: Very, very, very, rarely. It's always about, like, one of them just fuckin doing something and getting injured or being put in danger and the other panicking about it. Or the two of them ignoring the other one telling them to save somebody else and instead saving each other. LISTEN.

Who is the first to apologize?: They both do, like in the middle of whatever they're talking about. It's always like "I'm sorry but I'd do it again" and the other person just "I know and I love you but I think you shaved 5 years off my life."

SEX. Who is on top? Who is on bottom?: This changes every single time.

Any kinks?: Sparrow is with a vampire. You get one guess. A lot of it is Sparrow.......uh, learning things about themself as this goes so like. They discover they're into choking when Mason puts his hand on their neck one time. Ya know. Absolutely into praise as well.

Who has the strangest desires?: I don't know that either of them really want anything considered strange??? I mean, Sparrow wants him to bite them but I feel like Mason would be onboard so.

Who’s dominant in bed?: Mason probably more often than Sparrow, though it definitely flip flops depending. I feel like once Sparrow is more confident, they'd be more up for taking the lead.

Is head ever in the equation?: Of fucking course it is.

If so, who is better at performing it?: Mason for sure.

Ever had sex in public?: They fucked in a haunted house at a carnival.

Who moans the most?: They're both pretty quiet I think, each of them takes great pride in making the other get vocal. A lot of like, soft moans and grunts and whispers.

Who leaves the most marks?: Mason on Sparrow, bc his whack ass healing makes it impossible for Sparrow to leave marks on him, even though they try.

Who is the more experienced of the two?: Mason for sure. Sparrow hasn't........had a lot of experience.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?: They make love baby. Even when it gets rougher, it’s never really fucking. Well, okay, wait, maybe they fucked in the haunted house....that’s not exactly.....an environment conducive to love making.

How long do they usually last?: A...av....average? I don't know enough about sex for this section.

Rough or soft?: Soft most of the time.

Is protection used?: Like 99% of the time, yeah.

Does it ever get boring?: Lol no. Mason is Mason and Sparrow is always up for an adventure or a challenge.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?: THEY. FUCKED. IN. A. HAUNTED. HOUSE. AT. A. CARNIVAL.

Where did they not have sex?: I mean they probably wouldn't fuck, like, in a gas station bathroom?

FAMILY. Do they plan on having children/or have children?: This is so complicated and requires it's own post tbh. Currently, no kids and no plans for kids but it's.......yeah, it's just complicated.

If so, how many children do they want/have?: See above.

AFFECTION. Who likes to cuddle?: Oh they both do, Sparrow initiates it more though.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?: Fucking, both of them. Handsy mother fuckers.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?: BOTH OF THEM. Early in a relationship, Mason more often, but once Sparrow is comfortable? All bets are off, sorry. Don't go into the library ever.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?: There is no becoming uncomfortable, they both just pass out. Or Sparrow falls asleep and Mason is legally unable to move, it's like cat rules.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?: Mason will sit and braid Sparrow's hair while they read. Sparrow likes to just sit with Mason, like leaning on each other, watching a show or talking. Just, they really just like to exist together. Also, fucking off into the woods to go camping.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?: Literally anywhere, Sparrow is not picky and both of them are so tactile, who gives a shit.

SLEEPING. Who snores?: Neither of them.

If both do, who snores the loudest?: Listen.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?: Oh they share a bed for sure. If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?: Sparrow clings to Mason like an octopus.

What do they wear to bed?: Nothing, they both sleep naked.

Are either of them insomniacs?: Nah. Sparrow runs fine on like 4-6 hours of sleep though.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?: Nope.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?: Sparrow likes to wrap themself around Mason but sometimes they will just lay side by side and like, hold hands.

Who wakes up with bed hair?: They both do, Sparrow's is probably worse considering it's long and slightly wavy.

Who wakes up first?: Surprisingly, Sparrow! Only because Mason will fall asleep after they've been asleep for some time already so they wake up before he does.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?: Sparrow is too worried about crumbs in the bed bothering Mason to even think about eating in bed.

What is their favourite sleeping position?: Mason flat on his back, Sparrow with a leg slung over his hip, arm across his chest and their head smashed against whatever part of him is nearest.

Do they set an alarm each night?: Yeah.

Who has nightmares?: They both do, though I think Sparrow is the only one who remembers them after they wake. Mason, luckily, forgets his dreams.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?: Nope, laptops can though.

Who has ridiculous dreams?: Again, both. Again, Mason forgets them while Sparrow remembers.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?: MASON. He just spreads out and Sparrow tucks themself against him, it works fine really.

Who makes the bed?: Mason most often because Sparrow tends to get sidetracked and forget.

What time is bed time?: When Sparrow next passes out is up to the Gods. Mason just crashes whenever he finally feels tired.

Any routines/rituals before bed?: They'll watch an episode or two of a show. Sparrow will meditate. Mason often tries to break their focus.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?: Probably Mason? Sparrow is an annoying morning person.

WORK. Who is the busiest?: Oh they both are. Maybe Sparrow slightly more because of the whole, working for the PD and the Agency thing.

Who rakes in the highest income?: I feel like it ends up pretty even eventually?

Are any of them unemployed?: Nah.

Who takes the most sick days?: I guess Sparrow would, though it's very rare. Mason can't get sick, bastard.

What are their jobs?: Sparrow is a detective and agency liaison. Mason is a specialist agent for the Agency.

Who sucks up to their boss?: I don't think either of them do? Sparrow is polite with the Captain but he's nice enough. They definitely don't suck up to Adam or Rebecca or whomstever is in charge of them at the Agency.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?: Neither of them. Sparrow has Anxiety so they're always at least 10 minutes early.

Who stresses the most?: SPARROW.

Do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?: Mason enjoys what he does for sure. Sparrow.......never wanted to be doing this. At all. They definitely aren't thrilled but they do like it, it's just......not what they wanted.

Are they financially stable?: Oh yeah.

HOME. Who does the washing?: Even trade off I think.

Who takes out the trash?: Sparrow.

Who does the ironing?: Neither of them lmao

Who does the cooking?: Sparrow! Mason likes to sit on the counter and talk while they cook.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?: Mason lmao

Who is messier?: Even split again. Sparrow will set something down, get sidetracked, and then that book stays on the counter for five days until Mason is like "Bird you forgot your book." It's less.....intentionally messy and more just....brain going sideways.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?: Neither of them.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?: BOTH OF THEM. There is a HAMPER and they both just throw their clothes on the ground like HEATHENS.

Who forgets to flush the toilet?: Fucking NEITHER OF THEM.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?: Nope, absolutely never happens. Sparrow's anxiety kicks in and overrides the ADHD and the keys are always in sight.

Who answers the telephone?: If it's not a work call for Sparrow, then Mason.

Who mows the lawn?: Currently, neither of them bc there is no lawn lmao.

Who does the vacuuming?: Sparrow.

Who does the groceries?: Both together because they like doing it together. Mason enjoys putting random shit in the cart and seeing if Sparrow notices.

Who takes the longest to shower?: dasjgnd they're both very quick about showers, so neither?

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?: Sparrow I guess. They're both very much like, there's no real routine. They just fiddle with their hair and go.

MISCELLANEOUS. Is money a problem?: Nah.

How many cars do they own?: Just Sparrow's ol' reliable right now.

What’s their song?: We Love Like Vampires by Sparks the Rescue. Me & You by Honne.

Do they live in the city or in the country?: Country for sure. Both of them like the quiet.

Do they own their home or do they rent?: Right now, Sparrow rents their apartment.

Do they enjoy their surroundings?: I think so, yeah. Sparrow wishes they weren't still in Wayhaven sometimes but it's fine.

What do they do when they’re away from each other?: Whatever needs to be done? There isn't like something specific they have to do if they're apart, they just go on with their day.

Where did they first meet?: Formally, Sparrow's office when Rebecca introduced the entire team.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?: Gods, both of them?

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?: Mason, I guess.

Any mental issues?: Sparrow is a whole Mess honestly, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, etc. etc.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?: Both of them, bastards that they are.

Who’s terrified of bugs?: Eh, neither of them.

Who kills the spiders around the house?: NOBODY. Sparrow scoops them up and puts them outside.

Do they have any fears for their future?: The inevitable "Sparrow is going to die, Mason is an immortal vampire" obviously.

Their favourite place?: Somewhere in the woods together.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?: Mason, since, you know, he doesn't really enjoy eating food.

Who pays the bills?: They both do.

Who’s the tallest?: Mason by like 6 inches.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?: Mason, though Sparrow will too. He just does it more often.

Who wanders around in their underwear?: Oh they both do.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?: Sparrow, though it's rare they do.

What do they tease each other about?: Mason likes to good naturedly tease Sparrow about their bookish nature. Sparrow will squish his cheeks when he glares and grin at him.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?: MASON. Oh Gods, Sparrow is....listen, if they aren't dressed professionally for work or going out, they're a hot mess. I'm talking like bright green hoodie, neon yellow leggings, hot pink running shoes. Like a Lisa Frank folder exploded on a human being.

Who crushed first?: Mason. It took Sparrow a bit to be like "oh it's more than thinking his face is just nice, okay."

Any alcohol or substance related problems?: Nah, Sparrow doesn't drink.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?: Neither of them, considering the above and Mason's vampire biology.

Who swears the most?: Oh they both do. Sparrow looks sweet but they..........listen. They have the mouth of a sailor tbh. You get the two of them in a room together and let them talk and it's a mess of swearing.

[noellcfms]

chicago’s very own noelle washington has been spotted on madison avenue driving a mclaren 720s , welcome ! your resemblance to normani kordei is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-fourth birthday bash  . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re deceitful, but being benevolent might help you . i think being a gemini explains that .  3 things that would paint  a better picture of you would be sunset picnics , fruit smoothies , and the smell of vanilla . ( cis female + she/her ) +  (  elle , 20 , she/her , cst )

my name is elle! i was here like a month ago then i left to vibe and clear my brain but i’m back and better than ever! this is my absolute BABIE noelle, most of you will remember her, and those who don’t i am so sorry this fake bitch has to enter your life, enough about me let’s talk about noelle!

* --- biography

noelle washington was born into an extremely strict Christian family, the middle child of three children. her family did everything by the bible. her dad was an extremely famous tv preacher, and her mom was a lawyer turned preacher’s wife. perfect family dynamic, no gimmicks, just wholesome family love.

her and her siblings went to church everyday, noelle grew up believing the things that her family told her.

family was very fervent in their beliefs and noelle kinda just had to stick behind them because they were family? ya know?

noelle grew up with her housewife mother! who was constantly cooking and cleaning and taking care of household tasks, so noelle followed in her footsteps

she developed a love for cooking and baking, and it became a passion to her. her parents were proud! they raised such a positive child

but she wanted more, she had bigger aspirations than being good at cooking for somebody else one day

middle child vibes are your parents forgetting that you even go to gymnastics in the first place, but that’s what she did! and she was great!

but her parents wanted her to focus on the cooking thing so she did, went on chopped junior and she won!!!! would later go on to win an actual episode of chopped but that’s different tea

ANYWAYS from that her family was offered a reality tv show because wow what wholesome family activities! and their children are so talented!! wait noelle who again? yeah she was...ignored per usual love that for her

she continued to practice gymnastics and she was heckin good at it i’m proud of my bb, she went on to by the youngest female to win three gold medals a talented queen i know

her family finally wanted to put her on their show because she was bringing in views everyone wanted to know how she was so well behaved and obedient and performed on the level that she did

she was a really good student! was valedictorian, student council president, and a bunch of other extracurriculars that would make her family proud of her

honestly she was jus tryna get into a good college ngl...as far away from her family as she could get

BUT THE WORLD DEMANDED NOELLE and so her family delivered for her, finally she graduated and phew she couldn’t wait to get as far away as possible from them

she ended up going to Stanford for...law....and although her family could pay her way and she was offered a full ride...she didn’t want to have to depend on her family for anything SIS DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO CALL HOME

she went to Stanford and worked a normal job...and everyone was so shocked! to see Noelle Washington working a normal job and being you know a fucking human but despite the gawking she continued to do so

she graduated college with her law degree and as valedictorian so she was like cool i appeased my parents time to move back...and she moved back!

she was like ‘guys i don’t wanna be a lawyer i wanna...open a bakery’ and so she did

you can catch her there literally anytime in the morning because she might own the place but she also you know works there because it’s hers....fun times!

she’s just began releasing her music! and her vc is normani

but this america’s sweetheart bitch has a secret

everything i told you was the truth! but i mean one version of the truth here’s the side of noelle nobody gets to see

* --- second biography?

noelle’s family seemed perfect one the outside but her father was a serial cheater, and her mother was a borderline alcoholic

they didn’t love her or her siblings so they often all fell to the wayside unless it was maintaining appearances in public, then it was all smiles, and how they lived by the word, a bunch of bs

noelle stopped believing in what her family force fed her early on...but she kept that shit to herself

the cooking and cleaning and literally every other responsibility fell upon noelle and her siblings, she sorta despised her parents, but still craved their validation, it was a really messed up cycle

all of her achievements are true tho! she got valedictorian, student council president, youngest person to win three gold medals, etc etc

her family really did get their own reality tv show, and put on extreme appearances for the cameras...and noelle was pushed to the wayside because middle child vibes again

she did go to Stanford for law...but let’s get into the main portion of her double life

she didn’t work a normal job! she wasn’t a waitress or a cook or even a dishwasher nope she did none of that shit

she became a stripper! but she couldn’t show everyone her face obviously...so she developed a plan!

she would go on stage in a really extravagant masquerade mask...like to the point where nothing was recognizable but her eyes

and that shit worked! she was a hit! an icon! people loved her...she made mad bank

well one day an agent approached her and was like...do you want to do porn? and this extra ass bitch said more money? hell yeah

the one condition she did have was obviously she kept the mask, but she could change it during scenes, like different colors and shit love that for her

it was amazing that this bitch managed to graduate with all the hours that she was pulling...lowkey would be proud when annoying frat boys that called her a ‘prude’ would talk about how much they wanted to fuck her

ANYWAYS she took her work with her when she moved back to new york mostly her work in the adult entertainment industry...but she continues to do porn and that’s where a big majority of her money comes from

that’s her secret lmaoooo she hasn’t told her family or even her friends because you know appearances

so when she’s not at the bakery during the day she’s usually filming a scene...and when she’s not around at night she’s stripping

* --- personality

PUBLIC LIFE

extremely sweet

literally doesn’t have a mean bone in her body...but not nice to the point where anyone’s suspicious...just nice enough to teeter that line a little bit

fun loving young girl, or at least she tries to be, she tends to let her emotions get the best of her tbh, but despite that she’s gentle and kind and would never hurt a fly if she could help it

she always gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, believing the best in everyone and always looking for the good, you could tell her a million and one bad things about someone and she’d still only care about the one positive aspect

noelle has the biggest heart, and often thinks she’s mislabeled as naive, although in reality she truly is and is often easily lead on

not gonna lie, noelle apologizes for just about everything, even if it isn’t her fault, bam there’s another apology coming out of her mouth

she’s sorta of the mom friend in a way? like she can barely take care of herself, but she literally tries to take care of every single person there is to ever exist

is resilient and to this day there isn’t a problem that she hasn’t overcome, even if she did have a little help from alcoholic beverages

lowkey a hopeless romantic??? like she’s the kind of girl who falls in love with strangers, or sees people in coffee shops and then envisions their wedding, she’s hopeless

SECRET LIFE

extremely outspoken

will fight for what she wants deadass she’ll punch you don’t play with her she doesn’t take shit from anybody

extremely comfortable with herself and her body and just embraces who she is i love that for her

she talks mad shit ngl but she’ll back that up with a punch dw

judgmental but like lowkey not about your looks or clothes or anything but she will talk about how you act and carry yourself since that’s important to her

ngl lowkey has this whole ass superiority complex

hella sociable, she loves meeting new people

sexual!1!1!1!

if you can’t tell she do be having anger issues

* --- wanted connections

don’t feel limited by this list, italics means i’m open to more than one

best friend / ride or die

roommates

basically her son

bad influences around each other

pr romance

little brother

step siblings / ex step siblings

pals

childhood & high school friends

awkward situation

frenemies

bad terms

FIRST LOVE THAT ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED HER

big heartbreak ex-fiance OR alternatively an annulled vegas marriage

will they ? have they ?

exes, on bad terms

exes, on good terms

skinny love

high school sweetheart

friends with benefits

one night stand

industry friends

* --- second biography?

noelle’s family seemed perfect one the outside but her father was a serial cheater, and her mother was a borderline alcoholic

they didn’t love her or her siblings so they often all fell to the wayside unless it was maintaining appearances in public, then it was all smiles, and how they lived by the word, a bunch of bs

noelle stopped believing in what her family force fed her early on...but she kept that shit to herself

the cooking and cleaning and literally every other responsibility fell upon noelle and her siblings, she sorta despised her parents, but still craved their validation, it was a really messed up cycle

all of her achievements are true tho! she got valedictorian, student council president, youngest person to win three gold medals, etc etc

her family really did get their own reality tv show, and put on extreme appearances for the cameras...and noelle was pushed to the wayside because middle child vibes again

she did go to Stanford for law...but let’s get into the main portion of her double life

she didn’t work a normal job! she wasn’t a waitress or a cook or even a dishwasher nope she did none of that shit

she became a stripper! but she couldn’t show everyone her face obviously...so she developed a plan!

she would go on stage in a really extravagant masquerade mask...like to the point where nothing was recognizable but her eyes

and that shit worked! she was a hit! an icon! people loved her...she made mad bank

well one day an agent approached her and was like...do you want to do porn? and this extra ass bitch said more money? hell yeah

the one condition she did have was obviously she kept the mask, but she could change it during scenes, like different colors and shit love that for her

it was amazing that this bitch managed to graduate with all the hours that she was pulling...lowkey would be proud when annoying frat boys that called her a ‘prude’ would talk about how much they wanted to fuck her

ANYWAYS she took her work with her when she moved back to new york mostly her work in the adult entertainment industry...but she continues to strip and that’s where a big majority of her money comes from

that’s her secret lmaoooo she hasn’t told her family or even her friends because you know appearances

so when she’s not at the bakery during the day she’s usually filming a scene...and when she’s not around at night she’s stripping

* --- personality

PUBLIC LIFE

extremely sweet

literally doesn’t have a mean bone in her body...but not nice to the point where anyone’s suspicious...just nice enough to teeter that line a little bit

fun loving young girl, or at least she tries to be, she tends to let her emotions get the best of her tbh, but despite that she’s gentle and kind and would never hurt a fly if she could help it

she always gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, believing the best in everyone and always looking for the good, you could tell her a million and one bad things about someone and she’d still only care about the one positive aspect

noelle has the biggest heart, and often thinks she’s mislabeled as naive, although in reality she truly is and is often easily lead on

not gonna lie, noelle apologizes for just about everything, even if it isn’t her fault, bam there’s another apology coming out of her mouth

she’s sorta of the mom friend in a way? like she can barely take care of herself, but she literally tries to take care of every single person there is to ever exist

is resilient and to this day there isn’t a problem that she hasn’t overcome, even if she did have a little help from alcoholic beverages

lowkey a hopeless romantic??? like she’s the kind of girl who falls in love with strangers, or sees people in coffee shops and then envisions their wedding, she’s hopeless

SECRET LIFE

extremely outspoken

will fight for what she wants deadass she’ll punch you don’t play with her she doesn’t take shit from anybody

extremely comfortable with herself and her body and just embraces who she is i love that for her

she talks mad shit ngl but she’ll back that up with a punch dw

judgmental but like lowkey not about your looks or clothes or anything but she will talk about how you act and carry yourself since that’s important to her

ngl lowkey has this whole ass superiority complex

hella sociable, she loves meeting new people

sexual!1!1!1!

if you can’t tell she do be having anger issues

* --- headcanons

...i’m gonna update this as soon as possible but i wanna plot already soooooooo

* --- wanted connections

don’t feel limited by this list, italics means i’m open to more than one

best friend / ride or die

roommates

basically her son

bad influences around each other

pr romance

little brother

step siblings / ex step siblings

pals

childhood & high school friends

awkward situation

frenemies

bad terms

FIRST LOVE THAT ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED HER

big heartbreak ex-fiance OR alternatively an annulled vegas marriage

will they ? have they ?

exes, on bad terms

exes, on good terms

skinny love

high school sweetheart

friends with benefits

one night stand

industry friends

[whetstonefires]

Hey so random ask but, I see a lot of people calling Tim drake sexist, I personally don't think he is but what are your thoughts on that.

Oof. Okay.

Technically I can’t just say he’s not, because as the product of a sexist society he, like any other dude and to a lesser extent any person, has got some passive sexist attitudes baked in there.

It tends to surface in things like, when he went on that first big solo adventure when the Robin comic launched, that started in Paris? And he wound up hunting King Snake with Lady Shiva and this one rogue federal agent, a black man, and he got very decisive. Shiva says something cutting about white men, and she has a point, in that if either of his adult companions of the moment were also white men Tim would probably have been somewhat more conscious of the fact that he was thirteen.

That unconscious prioritization that DC’s sexist narrative tends to favor? That is sexism, and also racism, and it’s valuable to draw attention to it, though not, I feel, to blame it all on Tim because quite often he hasn’t actually done anything, the universe around him has just colluded to make him look good.

(Of course this doesn’t happen much anymore, but back when he was the Main Character it did. Comics is a sexist community in a sexist culture, so of course Tim got some of that muck on him.)

But most of the accusations you see going around are about tearing him down on Steph’s behalf, and that’s...murkier.

Because honestly Tim is less sexist than most of the men in his profession. Significantly less so than Bruce or Dick. I literally cannot imagine Tim talking about a loved one the way Dick used to talk about Kori, or a new acquaintance the way Dick did a lot of the one-episode women from his ‘90s Nightwing solo series. He wasn’t bad to them exactly, he was honestly very normal and probably above average, but the incredible, controlling arrogance and casual sexualization is still hard to get through, sometimes. Almost more so for how much more it comes out when he’s talking behind their backs. And Bruce...well, Bruce and gender is an entire deal I’m not going to try to unpack here.

And I cannot see Tim ever using ‘girl’ as an insult, the way Damian does.

Tim’s interactions with the ladies on Young Justice, for example, tended to be a lot less emphatically gendered than Dick’s interactions with the ladies of the Teen Titans, or even Bruce’s in the Justice League, though there are fewer women there and less casual interaction.

And to a considerable extent this was because the passage of ten years had modernized writing norms, and to a considerable extent this was because his demographic was younger than the Titans and therefore less sexualization was expected of the writers. Young Justice built on some stuff Marvel had been doing with young teams and broke some ground that Marvel has built on even further lately. (Seriously what is with Marvel’s young team books lately they’re incredible.) But there was also that Tim as an individual cares less about gender than most of his family.

(In some ways Jason may care even less, but he also leans really hard into performative masculinity and thought flirting was a reasonable way to interact with older women as a teenager, and he’s been being written by Scott Lobdell for ten years even if I have a hard time thinking of that as canon, so his data is mixed.)

Or take the case of this young freedom fighter (/terrorist) who happens to wear Robin colors, who Tim meets at one point in Europe. Dava. The story creates situations where Tim gets a weird mind-altering stimulant transferred orally to him by Dava, and then from him to Shiva when he’s giving her CPR, and Tim rather notably doesn’t have a single narration box or speech bubble that treats these as ‘kisses’ that he has somehow benefited from obtaining.

Later he crawl-drags Dava’s knocked-out-by-Shiva body out of the middle of the bloodbath Shiva is now staging, because he’s in no state to do anything to stop it, which he hates, and while this is certainly the comic arranging things to put Dava in a damsel status relative to Tim, Tim does not at any point frame it that way.

He is really good about not disrespecting Dava, honestly. It’s an interesting storyline partly for that reason, though it’s not the only time it comes up.

Tim was constantly meeting Troubled Young Women who could kick his ass and whom he respected considerably in most senses, but whom he was able to convince that their particular approach to violence was somehow flawed and needed to be re-thought. Thereby allowing there to be Strong Female Characters but keep the balance of the world in order and not worry the readership, by placing the male lead in a subtle power position even if he had gotten his ass kicked.

It was like. An entire genre. Tied to the way Shiva kept popping in as Incredibly Terrifying Supporting Cast.

This was a major way DC was using female characters in and immediately after the 90s and tbh in some ways it was more progressive than what they tend to do now, even as certain parts of the framing set my teeth on edge.

(Compare ‘Tim on drugs manages to hit Shiva hard enough to take her down because she didn’t expect lethal force from him so he has to do CPR’ to the more recent Red Robin story where we spend a couple of pages with him laying out to her face how she came to town to fulfill a contract on him but he brilliantly out-thought her and she ate the drugged chocolates he sent her so He Wins. Bleh.)

Steph stands out for hanging around instead of being a one-off appearance, and for not really rethinking her life in response to Tim much at all, while also not being a villain.

The crux of the issue is, Tim slid into talking down to Steph on a semi-regular basis, especially when trying to get her to stop vigilante-ing, which he’s getting backlash for some twenty-odd years later, mostly by people blaming him for her narrative deprioritization because it’s more satisfying than blaming DC.

And a major form this takes is declaring him generally sexist.

And the thing is, I’m sure his unconscious view of himself as more competent to make judgment calls because Main Character Demographic did play into the way he approached those conversations! I have never met a dude with any self-confidence whatsoever for whom that wasn’t a factor. Sexism, like racism, is the air we breathe, you have to actively extricate yourself from it and even then it will crop up at odd moments.

Classism played into it, too--especially once he knew she was a C-list villain’s daughter; there was that sense that often crops up in Batman properties that not only does greater access to resources make it safer and less self-destructive for the moneyed class to go vigilante-ing, noblesse oblige means it’s also somehow more just. The old ‘the outsider has a more objective approach’ canard. This was even more subtextual than the gender stuff, but I’m sure it was there.

Intellectual elitism is sort of a subset of both that and gender issues--Tim knows he’s smart, it’s the core of his pride, and Steph is not as smart in the same ways and has not had the same educational opportunites, and there are definitely moments of high-handedness tied to this.

And then there was the territorial aspect; it was official Bat policy to discourage all other Gotham vigilantes, usually in a much more absolute and commanding way than Tim ever tried, not to take them in and train them.

That might have been an option for Bruce if he’d wanted to, but it wasn’t really on the table for Tim unless he wanted to stage an intense campaign to totally disrupt his own life in order to bring this person who introduced herself by hitting him in the face with a brick after he mistook her for a villain into private Bat training and spaces. They’d known each other for a while and been having this argument in various forms most of that time, before they ever dated.

Please also remember that the last time Tim wanted to take a troubled blond under his and Bruce’s wings and show them the ropes and make sure they could do this safely as part of a personal healing process that would help everyone, that person took less than a week after starting to show signs of instability to have a complete psychotic break, beat him into the ground, build a brick wall in the Batcave to keep him out, lock down the computers, and start killing criminals with the knife-hands he added to the Batsuit, while failing to prioritize civilian safety.

This was not that long before Steph’s debut. If I were Tim I would not trust myself to sponsor further new team members either!

All of these things besides the Azrael trauma are directly from Bruce, who is often way more emphatic and more of an ass about them. Robin was mirroring Batman (consider the way he talks to Selina sometimes egad, sometimes it only doesn’t look awful because she’s playing along) and following Bat-policy; it is totally nonsensical to hold Tim accountable for this and not Bruce.

It’s also important to note that Tim wasn’t significantly less condescending to Anarky or the General, who were white guys around his age with roughly his class background whom he was trying to talk out of villainy, and honestly Lonnie’s motives were baller. (The original Anarky was a hacktivist based on a design somebody drew up for the third Robin, but Tim got made instead.) Tim’s entire character design back to his first appearance holds that when he’s trying to talk someone into something he tends to fall into a lecturing approach.

This can be very annoying! The first time he did it to Nightwing he got grabbed and shaken and snarled at. And of course it’s worse when he’s talking down a demographic slope, rather than up one.

I am very aware of how fucking annoying it is when guys do this, even if it is their normal mode of interaction. I have come very near to punching faces over it, when it’s really bad.

Tim doesn’t usually approach that line, but the problem is his writers didn’t seem to know the line was there, so if you’re reading some of his interactions with Steph from the perspective of having that chip on your shoulder already, especially if you’re not immersed in the narrative’s assumption that he is The Main Character, especially now that language norms have shifted slightly so wording that was considered neutral in the 90s is now obnoxious, it can ironically make a deeper impression than the much more blatant and decided sexism going on all around him.

So that’s my take on the situation. Tim has some mild passive gender prejudice which he has never taken enough notice of to seriously compensate for, made more visible by being in a deeply sexist world and by being kind of an annoying person sometimes, and this has been blown wildly out of proportion by people who feel that he and Steph are in competition to be The One Who Was Not An Asshole in that relationship.

This is not a winnable competition. They were both assholes sometimes, and even if you could prove Tim was a terrible boyfriend/person it wouldn’t validate all of Steph’s behavior--she was often forced to behave very badly or stupidly, because back then one of her major narrative functions was as a stick for the writers to hit Tim with.

And the thing is. If you’re going to exculpate Steph of awful behavior because it was ‘just’ the writers being sexist, let alone let Dick off the hook on similar grounds, I think it’s really unfair and messed up to then turn around and hold Tim-the-individual accountable for sexism that mostly wasn’t even situated in him so much as baked into the narrative, though to his benefit.

Like. When sexism (or other -ism) benefits people in real life it can be useful to draw their attention to their systemic advantages if they seem not to get it, but drawing Tim’s attention to his narrative prioritization would be extraordinarily meta (lol somebody write that fic). And in neither situation is it productive or fair (though I do know it is so so tempting) to treat the very existence of someone’s privilege as an offense they have personally committed.

They literally cannot help that. That’s how systemic works.

[ryncorrect]

university!au: day6 jae

following my uni!au with young k (idk how to link my own post asbajdnskmd im Dumb) so here another one with jae lol i think im gonna make one for each one of them buttttttt no promise bc my brain works in a very mysterious way LOL

anyway leggo

warning: this is lame lmaooooo

name: park jaehyung / jae

major: politic science

other activities: guitarist (and sometimes vocalist) of university band, member of music club, founder and leader of LOL SQUAD

everyone knows that tall skinny guitarist of the band i mean he’s hard to ignore tbh

he always wears loose T-shirt, ripped jeans, a cap that he puts backward, and round big specs to campus

professors hate his ripped jeans but can’t really say anything because oh well style doesn’t define someone’s grades and boy, does this kid actually get some braincells in him

well i mean at least he never fails his classes

he has this giant LOLSQUAD badge on his backpack because he’s proud af of his title as the club founder and leader

he actually started that club so he could to brag about his gaming skill to everyone who wanted to listen but he ends up getting his ass handed to him every single time they play together smh

if he’s not in class or hanging out with his game buddies, he can be seen following that Popular Student™ kang younghyun or as jae prefers to call him, “brian” or “brIBRI” because they both joined music club and are in the band

yes yes he’s well known and easy to spot

but…

“jae? park jaehyung?? who???”

everyone refers to him as “that foreigner student”, “the American guy” or “the gamer guy”, or my favorite: “chicken little”

i will never let that joke die im sorry but seriously he looks like chicken when he plays his guitar on the stage don’t @ me

there are only like 5 students in the whole university who know his actual name

anyways in this scenario you’ve always been interested in playing guitar but haven’t gotten a chance to learn and your friend kim wonpil invites you to join music club so you’ll have friends to practice with

“you know our jaehyungie, right? he’s really chill, you’ll get along well with him!!”

deep inside you’re like

who the heck is jaehyung

but wonpil is so excited to have you there so the next week you come to the club meeting

you introduce yourself to everyone and finally you meet him

“ohmygod the chicken little!!”

“whO THE HECK ARE YOU CALLING THAT”

“sorry- i mean the chicken guitarist- wait no-”

he glares at you, you laugh instead

scaring the new member challenge: failed

but yeah you’d seen him performing before and honestly you almost decided to become his fan

a l m o s t

at first he (jokingly) refuses to teach you guitar because you called him chicken little

and since then you keep calling him that just to mess with him

“hi chicken little”

“what’s poppin chicken little”

“why do you look so flustered, chicken little? do i make you nervous??”

he turns red chicken little is now an angry bird “gO AWAY NEWBIE YOU’RE SO ANNOYING”

jae’s a foreigner but he speaks fluent korean

he tells you that even though he was born and grew up in america he always speaks the language with his parents

but of course since he lives abroad there are lots of words or slang he doesn’t know, so you gotta be an ass and slip some difficult words when you speak to him

he gets his revenge by replying to you in english

whenever you two are having an argument (usually over stupid things) everyone in the club suddenly gets headache

wtf they’re not even making any sense

besides music, jae is the most excited when talking about LOL or social topics because well his major

honestly idk much about politic science so cmiimw

one time someone asks for his opinion about social welfare and he ends up starting a sudden debate session with the said person about social welfare programs in south korea and america and the difference between both countries

you mention human rights and he sNAPS

i mean he gives a full 15 mins speech about it

“yknow what im sayin?”

“dude… i honestly don’t get it at all”

because he be speaking in full english like wat

he’s just so passionate about everything it’s almost adorable

a l m o s t

and it’s not only his passion but also his small eyes, his laugh, his voice, or the way he occasionally lifts his head to look at you while playing guitar and you smile and he smiles because you smile first shnshsbshs soft

even the corners of his lips are so cute wow

oh fuck im emo i love him

but you adore him just as a good friend

he’s always been bubbly and friendly with everyone, not just you, so yeah it’s really easy to fall for him but you assure yourself that you’re nOT

are we having “in denial” shit again omg im so uncreative

anyway fast forward it’s ur birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY

you decide to throw a small party at your place and invite 5 or 6 of your closest friends but damn on the d-day it rains so hard

if ur bday falls on winter then change it to snowing hard, if it’s spring then maybe there’s strong wind or something, whatever suits you fam lol

so no one comes to your party lol you are Sad

BUT THEN!!!! JAE SHOWS UP!!!!!

PARK JAEHYUNG

OUT OF ALL PEOPLE

no you didn’t invite him because idk

are we really that close??? ehhhh he probably won’t come anyway haha why bother

BUT!!!! HE SHOWS UP!!! IN FRONT OF YOUR DOOR!!!

he’s carrying an umbrella but it didn’t really help apparently because he’s soaking wet

imagine that view i mean nvm

“i happened to be near here and i remember it’s your birthday today so i think i’m gonna drop by to say hi and suddenly it’s raining too hard on the way but anyway happy birthday can you let me in first i’m cold”

ofc you let jae in i mean we can’t let the chicken catch the flu amirite

but you warn him that he’ll have to leave before 11 or your RA will kick you both out the dorm lol

after a towel, two cups of hot tea, and one shared piece of chocolate cake, you told him you were supposed to have a small party tonight but no one could make it because of the rain and he’s like “hOW DARE YOU HAVING A PARTY BUT NOT INVITING ME I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL” and you’re just like “lol shut up chicken here eat more cake”

anyways you two spend time joking and talking about random stuff and it’s probably not the best birthday ever but at least you don’t have to spend it alone and to be honest you’re happy that he’s here

then jae pulls out his ultimate weapon

i mean his guitar

he was soaking wet but the guitar is clean and dry and all fine like hoW EVEN

“priorities” -park jaehyung

he said he gonna play a song of your choice because he came empty handed and he feels bad about it

you blush and pick whatever song comes to your mind because you can’t really think of any, and he starts strumming his guitar and sings

and while he keeps looking at you, you find yourself too can’t take your eyes off him

the song ends and you’re about to clap your hands when he suddenly starts another one

wait you’ve never heard this song before

it’s a slow song and the lyrics are all like, the sky turns dark on the birthday of the brightest star so that it’ll be the only light in his world, how he feels regretful that he has nothing to give but his small heart, and he hopes that this lovely person will hold his hand as they listen to this song together, that this lovely person will feel warm beside him

guys just imagine the song okay i can’t Romance

it’s dead silent until you whisper, “is that… a song for me?”

jae’s face turns red and he starts panicking™ like “i made up the lyrics just now okay i know it’s fricking sappy and cheesy as hell okay i just uhhh want to cheer you up!!!! because you seem kinda down!!!!! let’s not talk about this again uGh WhatEvER leT Me LIvE!!!!!”

but you chuckle and thank him, it was the best present you can get from anyone

you two stare at each other for a second that feels like years and he finally breaks the silence, “you know,,, maybe i came here on purpose,,, maybe actually i want to see you,,,”

“and why is it?”

“because i think,,, i miss you,,, kinda”

and you don’t say this out loud but maybe you do know that

even if you say you’ll never

in fact you’ve already fallen for him a bit

or perhaps a lot

like a lot

then he leans in to kiss your lips and you kiss back and it’s almost not awkward at all, it just feels right as if you’ve kissed him million times before

a l m o s t

you two still blush real hard after

but yeah that’s how you two start dating

none of you two tell anyone about it but it’s pretty obvious, i mean jae always picks you up at your dorm, he walks with you to your class or vice versa (if your classes don’t overlap tho), you two keep stealing glances at each others, also—

jae with you: “hey,,,, come here sit with me u3u,,,,, did you have lunch??? oh i wrote a song last night check this out,,,, what are you gonna do this saturday? oml you’re so cute”

jae with everyone else: “HAHAHAHA FUCKING FUCK SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING PRICK ALSO BRIAN FUCKING KANG IF YOU STEAL MY FUCKING FRIES AGAIN I WILL LITERALLY SNAP YOUR FUCKING NECK”

welp actually he’s not always sweet with you, sometimes you two still argue about silly things using mixed languages but now everyone in the club knows better to just run away once it begins

because it’ll end up with you two fighting or you two kissing

yes im nasty and a disappointment bye

btw wonpil is excited af it’s almost like he’s dating you both

“it’s really nice seeing you two finally together!!!!!!! especially because jaehyung really couldn’t shut up about you ever since the first day you joined our music club”

“wait wha-”

“YOU SNAKE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET FUCK OFF”

I’m so in love with park jaehyung y'all hsnshsbsh aNYWAYS!!! 100 blocks limit has lifted from tumblr app AYEEEEE

[writcraft]

2018 Fandom Reflections

I’m going to do a year in review list of fics and answer tags on some of the memes floating around, but I’m waiting until January when a few anon fics in fests are revealed as I’d really like to include those in my ramblings. This is more a personal take on some reflections I’ve had on fandom - and my place and activity within it - over the course of this year.

On a personal level, real life work and fandom as a hobby have intersected this year for me like never before, and the combination of taking on multiple commitments to academic publishing, grappling with the demands of my thesis and moderating and participating in multiple fests has been a lot. I’ve had something of a rollercoaster year, but I’m ending 2018 feeling creatively inspired, happy, and energised for another active fandom year. Thank you to everyone who has been part of it and those friends new and old that have been instrumental to shaping my year and pulling me out of the funk I was in at the beginning of the year.

Some key lessons I’ve personally learned in 2018 below the cut to save your dash from my GIANT WALL OF TEXT.

All At Sea: I think of my relationship to fan spaces sometimes as a bit like being out at sea. It’s easy to get caught up in the current and drift along, but the tide is always turning and there are unexpected storms which make staying afloat more challenging at times. Sometimes it can be exhausting when you feel as though you’re swimming against a strong current and making no progress, but on other occasions you find a spot where you can swim, choose your own direction, do handstands in the water and it’s exhilarating. This year I learned it’s okay to get out of the sea sometimes, to push your toes in the sand, feel the sun on your face, and just enjoy watching the waves. Have a cocktail with friends at the beach bar, chill the fuck out, basically. From starting the year feeling in something of a fandom funk, I’ve got to a place at the end of this year where I feel very positive about fandom and grateful to share a space with so many brilliant, talented, supportive people. 

Burnout and Information Overwhelm: This year, the burnout has been real and I’ve worked out that the platforms I’m operating on contribute a lot to that feeling of mental exhaustion. Using my mobile for fandom activity, having more time than ever at my personal laptop instead of an office computer which restricted me from accessing fan platforms and ramping up my use of Tumblr, Twitter, WhatsApp and Discord for fandom activity created a kind of information overwhelm that comes with high speed interactions and heightened the sense of needing to be present, or to offer opinions as part of fast-paced interactions requiring quick thinking, and sometimes knee-jerk responses. With this came the suspicion and bitter taste caused by anonymous messages cropping up in the inboxes of me and my friends, and it felt at times as though I was constantly logged on and in a state of hypersensitivity. I’ve learned that stepping back from things and learning to balance time spent online with time spent offline is an important part of self-care and it’s okay to be absent for a while. If conversations are draining, leave them. If you see opinions you don’t like, ignore them or try to understand them. They are just opinions - and I mean opinions on characters, canon, fandom and so on as opposed to political opinions that actively seek to harm people. Everyone has different perspectives on things. There really is room for everyone. Regarding anonymous messages, if the only way someone wants to interact with you is via crappy anonymous messages, I’ve learned they are not worth your time, effort or mental energy. Interacting only brings more attention to them. Delete, block, move on. Fuck ‘em. If you want to talk to me, do it off anon. If I’ve upset you with my actions, tell me. Let’s have a proper, adult conversation. 

Look for the Rainbow: Fandom spaces are communities which form around peoples passions. They are places of brilliant creativity but the things we love have a tendency to give rise to extreme emotional responses. I’ve veered from extreme highs to extreme lows and this year I have learned the importance of finding a balance that works. I think a relentlessly positive, non-critical approach can be just as stifling as a culture of intense negativity and constant division, but having said that when I’m having my storm cloudy moments I’m trying to focus on the rainbow. Wallowing in bad feeling tends to nurture and cultivate that sense of dissatisfaction until it becomes suffocating. There’s a tremendous amount of good in fandom space. Good people, good ideas, tireless effort, incredible organisation, passion, creativity and vibrancy. There’s a huge amount to feel positively about and whilst I would never advocate for a laissez faire, entirely non-critical approach, I also think everyone has their own capacity for critical thinking and the way those thoughts can permeate and shape our whole experience of fandom and - by extension - influence our creative abilities. I’ve learned to focus more on the things I get out of fandom that make me happy, to retain a critical eye on things as I always will given the nature of my research, but not to allow the critical to obscure the many positive things about fandom. 

Evaluating Self-Worth: I’ve really tried in the latter part of this year not to measure myself or my worth by external metrics of success. The kudos, the hits, the number of followers, the amount of positive interaction over anonymous messages, the posts I’m tagged in, the hype, the rec lists I’m on or not on, and so on. Comparing yourself to other people can lead to resentment and frustration or to an inflated sense of self-importance. It says a little something about how I started the year that I thought I want to grow my tumblr and write a really successful fic, and thought I would know if I had accomplished that by feedback and response. I’m actually quite embarrassed to admit that because I think it makes me look like a dick, and I’m super pleased with the support my fics get in any event, but I wanted to share it because I think it’s important in terms of this lesson I’ve learned this year. I went from a place of being very focused on external measures of success to ending this year realising that my most successful stories have been the ones I’m proudest of and they are not the ones with the most hits or kudos. Those are the stories that I enjoyed creating the most, and the ones that left me feeling incredibly positive and proud at the end of this year, looking forward to the next year in fandom and planning projects that I already know won’t be the most popular, but they are the ones I’m creatively excited about and inspired by, so those are the ones I should be focusing on. Despite its resistance to corporate structures, there’s something very capitalist about the way we can sometimes be lured into evaluating self-worth in fandom, and those structures are embedded within fandom itself. They won’t go away, but focusing on them doesn’t half make me unhappy. 

Support Other Creators: It’s easy to let negative feelings overwhelm the way we interact with one another in fandom. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned this year is that you get back what you put in. Through supporting other creators you build friendships formed around shared creative passions and interests. You feel pride in your friends accomplishments. You improve your own work by reading widely, cheerleading, editing, beta reading, alpha reading, brit picking. Writing can be a lonely endeavour but it doesn’t have to be that way when you’re part of a community that uplifts others. 

Treat People With Kindness: Not everybody has the same levels of confidence or the same energy for rigorous debate. We all have days where we feel like we could crack into pieces, where we feel lonely, invisible, anxious, excluded, unhappy or fragile. It’s easy to be brave behind a computer screen, but ultimately people on the other end are going through stuff in the same way we all are. I’m making a concerted effort in 2019 to engage patiently and respectfully with opinions I disagree with and to be open to anyone who wants to chat or talk through things. I want to work on building new friendships (yeah, I’m going to slide into your DMs, like hiiiii :D) and maintaining old ones, ensuring I give back the same energy and support I get from friends so they know how appreciated they are. I started this year thinking Tumblr required a level of saltiness and a dgaf attitude that’s never been me, honestly. The lesson I’ve learned this year is to resist going along with the pile and to stop and think before engaging. For some people that might seem like an annoying attempt to sit on the fence and please everyone which is never going to happen, but to be honest I think it’s all about finding what works for you in that regard. I’m here for the hot takes and the salt at times, but tbh it’s pretty much just not me. Even when I’ve responded heatedly to an anonymous message that thoroughly deserved it, it’s felt performative and weird and I’m just not going to do that anymore. 

If you made it this far, thank you for reading! If you ever want to chat fandom thoughts then I’m always open to that and hope everyone has a very happy 2019!

[lumikinetic]

*flops down on sofa*

*exhales*

Tumblr gives me a lot of wild shit every now and again. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's disheartening. And then yesterday came along and gave me the one-two punch of:

Captain Marvel being dolled up by the Russos instead of a jacket, S.H.I.E.L.D baseball cap and a Nine Inch Nails shirt, which is how she should be (not gonna talk about this, just want it out there that I'm pissed about it)

One Day At A Time being cancelled

ODAAT I'm gonna kind of touch on because it's not really what I want to talk about, but it did help me finalize the words for what I do, and that's capitalism in entertainment.

The most annoying goddamn trend in filmmaking (and of course in TV and Netflix/Prime originals) is companies caring more about their bottom line and less about making good content, and yeah I know this dead horse isn't just beaten, it's thrown into an active supervolcano but it really pisses me off and it's why I hate the new Star Wars stuff (well OK hate is a bit strong but they're uh Not Good) but I'll get to that. What corpos can't seem to get into their bloated skulls is that one cannot exist without the other. You need to put out good, quality content with value so that fans like it so they give you money so they increase your profits so you can make more content and so on. But somewhere down the line some fuckhead went "what if we just pushed out what we have?" and just kinda expected us to not take notice.

Now before the comments section gets all hot and bothered because I know some people on this site don't have the gift of reading comprehension, I know profits are important, I'm saying when companies shun good filmmaking for more money, they get lazy and all they can think about is profit and not how they make that profit, they don't care at all about using that money to make more good, valuable content.

One Day At A Time

I've never watched One Day At A Time but the fact Netflix just outright cancelled it knowing damn well what it meant to the people the characters are representing is just disgusting. And they have the fucking audacity to blame it on the viewership? I've seen hundreds of artworks, gifs and a video clip here and there of this show. I've seen precisely one (1) meme of 13 Reasons Why and that is literally it. I'm not following the tags for either. Plus, #saveODAAT has, last I checked, 350k tweets on trending or thereabouts?

So obviously the viewership isn't the problem, it's the racism and homophobia of cancelling a Spanish (? - again, never seen it), LGBT+ focused show that a lot of people quite happily and positively connect with when a crap show about suicide and Friends gets to stay on. It's just ugh. Cancelling a show like this then paying something like $100mil to keep Friends. I was going to expand on the shitty capitalism here but tbh that's it, Netflix are making bad decisions and like I say, I'm only going to touch on it because it's not the main part.

Star Wars

Go watch the original trilogy and it's clear George Lucas was trying to create and do. He was trying to make art. The key difference between that and modern SW to me is BB8. Look at C3PO and R2D2 and already you can see they belong. C3PO is a translator droid and I'm not sure what exactly R2's job description is but it's obvious he does some kind of pilot assistance for X-Wing fighters. I never understood people who said R2 never did anything, because they obviously haven't seen Star Wars. You get that this is an R2 unit, right? Like, there's more than one out there and they have a job they were specifically built to do, it's just this one particular R2 unit who had to carry the message? Anyway, I'm derailing. R2 and C3PO have functions and they're clearly not new, they've been used for a long time. Then you look at BB8 and instantly it's like "this is a toy. This so called character was designed to sell toys". And then he was. He's a toy, he's on bags, notebooks, pens, clothes, everywhere. Disney is less concerned about making a Star Wars movie and more about making money off of the Star Wars name.

Into The Spider-Verse VS YA Movies

YA movies tend to suck because they were adapted from books and we all know how that pans out but the reason I'm using YA books specifically is because my mind jumped to The Hunger Games. I couldn't tell you a single fucking thing that happens in those movies. They're so dull and dead and forgettable and the characters are borderline unlikeable but you know which one I do like? Catching Fire, for one reason and one reason only: Jena Malone as Joanna Mason. Save for Haymitch, she's the only character I liked because those two are the only characters with any kind of charisma or life to them. They made an at most halfway decent attempt overall at recreating some otherwise really great books and they made a big show out of it, hiring some pretty well known names. And I'm not disparaging their performances, it was just what I call, ever since Suicide Squad came out, the Harley Quinn effect, in which good actors get given a good character and perform them really well and, through no fault of their own, fuck it up because the character was written poorly and no matter how well they act, if the script doesn't change, the performance will always be shit. The same for Divergent. And Percy Jackson. And Fault In Our Stars.

Then outside all of that you have Perks Of Being A Wallflower which is just a great, heartwarming movie because the characters feel like people and the brightness isn't turned way the fuck down in post and you actually want to be invested, and they're not afraid to have a colour palette beyond a splash of pink here and blue there and red there. Plus, Ant-Man as an English teacher. THEN you go watch Spider-Verse and oh hey. I can actually see the movie now. And I mean see it. They do not slack off when it comes to visuals. Even by animation's standards, everyone is so expressive and alive and... animated. Sorry, I couldn't get a better word but they are! When you look at Miles in comparison to Katniss in terms of writing and performance, the difference is just startling. The only times I can think of where Katniss shows any kind of emotion in the first movie is when she slams the knife in the table and Rue's funeral and I had to think about that. Without thinking for Miles, already I've got "who's Morales?", the scene where Uncle Aaron teaches him the shoulder touch, the scene where Miles spray paints in the subway, that scene in the alley, the moment in Olivia's office when he just freezes after she says she can't wait to watch Peter in immense pain Like That and made all the wlws melt in their seats. You get the idea. So what's the point for this section? Well, as simply as I can put it, Hunger Games was made with money, for money. Spiderverse was made with love, for love. Spiderverse cared about people who read comic books and paid more than enough tribute to the art forms people think of as lesser for no goddamn reason other than elitism and proved for the thousandth time that it is something that can be used in filmmaking. They were trying to make art. Hunger Games and most other YA novel movie adaptations saw a preestablished fan base they could exploit for money. They were trying to make money.

Rambo

This was a weird one, yeah. Don't worry I was confused too when it popped into my head. I saw the original Rambo a while back and what I liked about it (and Apocalypse Now) is it wasn't a war film where the USA charge in and hooray everything's all right, this movie grabs your shirt and says "hey. Vietnam did something to these guys and they're not OK. Probably they'll never be OK". Then I watched the Rambo reboot that came out in like 2011 or something and I remember thinking "OK so now he's just this dude? Who lives in Thailand... And what, that's it?" There was no scene to show his psychological state today. Nothing to acknowledge his PTSD. They just thought "hey! Let's make Rambo but this time, just give him guns and and yelling and spray some blood!" The reason I kind of ended this train of thought quickly is because I realised that, let's be real, the main body of Rambo's audience just want to see Sly Stallone kill some fools. But yeah, the fact that they just ignored John's mental state in place of mega violence is such a glaringly obvious move to just appeal to violent teenage boys.

The Auteur

My favourite director is Wes Anderson and my favourite movie is The Grand Budapest Hotel (though Panos Cosmatos seems to be eyeing these titles with Beyond The Black Rainbow and Mandy, I haven't watched them yet). Quentin Tarantino, Spike Lee, Wes Anderson, auteurs always stand out even though their movies are all the same, and I think the reason they're so successful is because that specific style is so much better than most other mainstream cinema. I'm not saying that those other movies are bad, I love them and will watch them again and again but I'm saying Wes Anderson could make a short movie and it would be better than most Marvel movies put together (don't talk to me about Captain Marvel, I haven't seen it yet. Gonna see it this Sunday). No matter what you think of these directors, you can instantly tell the difference between these movies that they care about and the passion and hard work they put in and Disney pumping out their 400th reboot.

It Keeps Working

You guys wanna know the thought that keeps me up at night? Someday they're going to make a Fortnite movie. You guys wanna know why it keeps me up at night? Because it's going to be popular. Yeah, obviously not at the box office, because it'll be a videogame movie and those are worse than book movies, but it will be popular for no apparent reason. And what pisses me off is that Fortnite's popularity is only because of the battle royale mode, which has now essentially become synonymous with dying franchises and it just adds another layer to the lack of creative effort and the movie will just be Hunger Games with guns. Exactly the same as what I said at the start of this rant, there's a really noticeable shift from making content to jumping on whatever bandwagon is passing by because you know it'll make you money. Yeah, you have to spend money to make money but that doesn't mean you get complacent in what you spend your money on or if you spend money at all because when you cut corners, consumers can see that shit.

Anyway I'm done complaining thanks for having the willpower to pay attention to my dumb opinions.

[serkonans]

i would legit love to know ur answer to all of those dnd questions tbh

so many gfsljgf thank you antonia i love ask memesputting #13 up here for the anon who requested it and the rest below the cut!13. Introduce your current party.I currently DM a few games! School is hectic and I don’t get to play very often but all the characters are GoodI have one group campaign titled “When the River Bleeds Red” (which is probably news to you, Antonia, and everyone else who plays, idt I ever mentioned that slkfjglfskj) that has a blacksmith (half-elven cleric, @the-idiot-who-stood-still​) named Brigitte Faestrum, a pumpkin farmer (halfling druid, @beesgnees​) named Cathal Headrig, a former stage performer (fire genasi sorcerer, @merrigold​) named Emelia Sparks, and a former mercenary (gnome fighter, @jacqmutiny​) named Nyx!I also DM one-on-one campaigns for @merrigold​ (who plays an aasimar druid named senua tasked with undertaking journeys on behalf of the gods in “The Glacial Erratic”) and @fictitiousbees​ (who plays a kenku wizard named scribbles called to the service of a high dragon in “Luck of the Draw”)Everything else below the cut!

1. A favorite character you have played.

I’ve only played two characters! One was Carran Warset, who is my Son and like the bulk of the reason I know I’m trans, and one was Chim from your one-on-one campaign. I rly like both of them tbh but Carran is my child gkjlsfgjs

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.

Excluding anything I’ve DMed, Sivarna by @pluviance!

3. Your favorite side quest.

In the group campaign we played in together, there was one session that idr if you were able to be there for but we like,,, went into a forest and bought a really ugly belt from a stoner for zero plot reasons and I count it as a side quest in my heart

4. Your current campaign.

Well, you know everything about all my current campaigns that you’re allowed to know rn, but for anyone who might be reading who isn’t in them:

The group campaign is being used as scapegoats in the brutal murder of an ambassador’s daughter and is fleeing a city through secret tunnels -- we last left off at Cathal becoming a giant badger and burrowing upward

In the solo campaign with Senua, she’s attempting to deliver a large, magical object from the goddess of earth deep inside a mountain, and she’s facing down a basilisk with three NPCs

And in the solo campaign with Scribbles, he’s just played a card game that was really more of an interrogation, where he found out a high dragon has taken interest in him, and he is, in unrelated news, taking a package to the local apothecary

5. Favorite NPC.

Of someone else’s, I love Lucy from the Chim campaign!

Of mine, I will never stop loving Mr. Kretever Tatell. Kret is a goddamn idiot but he’s my goddamn idiot

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

Carran once killed an evil poison merchant by seducing her in an enemy king’s bedroom and stabbing her when he went in for the kiss gkfsljgfsj. Then he and Sivarna wound up hiding with her corpse under a bed discussing the concept of threesomes in whispers while the king wandered around his room. Not as like, a possibility. Just because the topic came up

7. Your favorite downtime activity.

S,,,hop,,,,,,, money tiem $

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

I liked the fight where I balanced the combat correctly lkgsflkjskljg, the one with guards in the tunnels

9. Your favorite thing about D&D.

Storytelling!

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.

Homebrew enemies are coolest imo but hard to balance; the giant gemstone ant I had you fight would’ve been my favorite if it’d been able to get more than like two attacks in gskjgksj

And insect swarms are very annoying to fight

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?

How often I play is whenever every single one of the stars align and ideally I would play like every other day fksjglskfjg

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

God the current ones haven’t gone long enough for those yet really and I’m blanking on most from the group player campaign

I do remember Carran was 1000% convinced basil was poison at one point and his pet rat killed an evil, powerful sorcerer by chewing his ear

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

Just the group player campaign with Carran, which didn’t get to the heavy plot stuff before it ended tbh, and then the solo one you ran with Chim in what was rly a Very cool world concept of like hellish Las Vegas that I’d like to steal at some point

And then you ofc know this but for anyone reading who doesn’t, I’m going DM a maybe-oneshot, maybe-a few more than oneshot post-apocalyptic campaign for you and @fictitiousbees​, set in a world that’s been destroyed by fast growing invasive fungi which is like. only The sexiest apocalypse scenario

15. Do you have snacks during game times?

Yes, religiously. Game time snack time

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?

I’ve never played in person other than a single test game for new players! I prefer online tho; you can look things up and type if you’re shy

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

I have a rule about only two players being able to try the same sort of check, but that’s it for us so far that I can think of

18. Does your party keep any pets?

Not yet! Cathal has a way with animals though

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?

I Do

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing?

I got into it bc Critical Role made it look super super fun, and I’ve been playing off and on for two years now

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?

I’ve regretted everything any character I’ve controlled has done I think that’s just dnd

Realistically tho, big yes for a lot of what Carran did, most notably snooping on another player character who had cast Alarm on her room

22. What color was your first dragon?

Haven’t had one yet!

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns?

100% original babey

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

3% planning 97% “oh fuck I need to have an idea Now” babey

For DMs

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?

Everything, it’s why I never know what I’m doing

I never expected Cathal to become a large badger and dig out of the underground, how do you prepare for someone to, in all seriousness, tell you they’re going to become a badger and scrabble to the surface

26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters.

I really tend to enjoy the one-on-one scenes; I think my favorite was having you roll that insane wild magic surge and detailing What Happened At The Theatre

27. Do you allow homebrew content?

Yes if it can go in DND Beyond

28. How often do you use NPCs in a party?

In group campaigns, not often, although we have two with us right now. In solo campaigns, if you want combat you’re getting an NPC party, at least for a bit

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

Personally I love RP heavy sessions; combat is fun but I crave Story

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

I think mostly diplomatic with a dash of murder hobo

For Players

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

I’m so so so boring but I love humans gksfjgsk

Humans, elves, and half-elves are my favorite

And then I Would Die For Every Rogue, it’s hands down my favorite class

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

Rogue role

Lemme stealth and steal and stab

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?

For Carran it was,, A Whole Process

I came up with a basic idea, then journaled as him several times and wrote and rewrote until I had what felt Right, and then I kept toying with it and adding more details throughout the campaign -- I love playing and would really like to again but the obsession with expanding upon his story made me realize I need the freedom of worldbuilding that goes along with DMing; I don’t think I could be a player without DMing a separate campaign bc I just try to take over

34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

Both!

35. How much roleplay do you like to do?

So much, I usually use old acting techniques and get fully into character

thank you again antonia!!! these were fun

[hanniejji]

TAGS UWU

So I was tagged three times and since I wasn't able to do it on my phone I had to do it on my computer lmao anyway I got tagged by my sweet cakes(@hyunjinsgiggle ), the sunshine (@felegs ), and this cutie (@stayuwu ) this is going to be long btw im sorry and the ending is very depressing ignore it

Bold Tag

Rules: bold the ones that apply to you!

Appearance:

I’m over 5'5 / I wear glasses/contacts / I have blonde hair / I wear sweatshirts a lot / I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing / I have one or more piercings / I have at least one tattoo / I have blue eyes / I have dyed or highlighted my hair / I have gotten plastic surgery / I have or had braces / I sunburn easily / I have freckles / I paint my nails / I typically wear makeup / I don’t often smile / I am pleased with how I look / I prefer Nike to Adidas / I wear baseball hats backwards

Hobbies and talents:

I play a sport / I can play an instrument / I am artistic / I know more than one language / I have won a trophy in some sort of competition / I can cook or bake without a recipe / I know how to swim / I enjoy writing / I can do origami / I prefer movies on TV shows / I can execute a perfect somersault / I enjoy singing / I could survive in the wild on my own / I have read a new book series this year / I enjoy spending time with friends / I travel during school or work brakes / I can do a handstand

Experiences:

I have had my first kiss / I have gotten drunk / I have told a crush I like them / I have traveled outside of the country / I have flown on an airplane / I have stayed awake for more than 48 hours / I have had a near-death experience / I have caught something on fire / I have performed in a talent show / I have shot a gun / I have been on TV / I have gone scuba diving / I have broken a bone / I have slow-danced / I have gone on a shopping spree

Relationships:

I am in a relationship / I have been single for over a year / I have a crush / I have a best friend I have known for over ten years / my parents are together / I have dated my best friend / I am adopted / my crush have confessed to me / I have had a long-distance relationship / I am an only child / I give advice to my friends / I have made an online friend / I met up with someone I have met online

Aesthetics:

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell / I have watched the sun rise / I enjoy rainy days / I have slept under the stars / I meditate outside / the sound of chirping calms me / I enjoy the smell of the beach / I know what snow tastes like / I listen to music to fall asleep / I enjoy thunderstorms / I enjoy cloud watching / I have attended a bonfire / I pay close attention to colors / I find mystery in the ocean / I enjoy hiking on nature paths / Autumn is my favorite season

Miscellaneous:

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle / I am the mom friend / I live by a certain quote / I like the smell of sharpies / I am involved in extracurricular activities/ I enjoy Mexican food / I can drive stick-shift / I have memorized an entire song in a day / I believe in true love / I dream up scenarios to fall asleep / I sing in the shower / I wish I lived in a video game / I have a canopy above my bed / I am Multi-racial / I am a redhead / I own at least three dogs / I am LGBR

I'm about to answer 33 questions wow I feel like I'm on an examination

11 questions tag

by sweet cakes:

1. what is your fashion sense?

I have a lot of styles depending on the weather or my mood. I mostly do the sweater/jacket + high waisted shorts hehe or turtle neck + shorts + cardigan/jacket. when I'm lazy, which is always, I wear an oversize hoodie and shorts and the occasional cap hihi I have a weird sense of fashion

2. what is your favourite season?

I like rainy, or windy. any is fine as long as I don't sweat like hell adfaslsja I hate summer

3. if you could go on holiday anywhere, where?

I love going to beaches but tbh anywhere with good views is fine, it doesn't matter since the most important thing for me is that I get the experience and take lots of photos if they have a lot of delicious foods then that's better oof

4. what is one quote you live by?

"learn to stand on your own feet" has a very special place in my heart

5. would you ever get a tattoo, and if so, what and where?

I would want a snowflake, because we're not alone falling down

6. what is your favourite song at the minute?

at the moment, it's nobody knows by youngjae and fine by yugyeom ✨✨

7. what is one album you would listen to for the rest of your life?

I still listen to Linkin Park songs because of the meaningful and relatable lyrics

8. what is your favourite memory from the last year?

it has to be the one time my mom said she's proud of me :')

9. what is one regret you have?

not being able to make friends easily :'( I find it hard to do

10. would you change aforementioned regret?

maybe :'(

11. if you could have any food in the world to eat right now, what would it be?

How dare you make me choose I can't possibly choose between different varieties of foods :'( fries, frappe, and shawarma w/o cucumber pls

by sunshine 🌞

1. what’s one thing that helps you relax?

probably sleeping with soft background music

2. what’s your favorite novel and author?

I'd rather poetry :') sea of strangers by lang leav is amazing

3. are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection?

I'm more like the closet affectionate person hehe but when I'm tired or sleepy I get clingy a lot but I'm mostly through small actions, I'm not comfortable with saying "I miss you" or whatever unless I'm typing them

4. are you an early bird or a night owl?

totally a night owl

5. if you’re comfortable with it, do you have a song you connect to something or someone, and if so, what is it?

sorry by halsey, broken home by 5sos

6. if you could go back to a place you’ve been to before, where would it be?

the beach we went to last vacation :')

7. what does your favorite piece of clothing - that you own yourself - look like?

a very comfy oversized hoodie, it's black with front pocket, sweater paaaaws, and it has a small doodle of neptune on the back

8. who’s your bias and why?

bias? I don't know her

9. do you believe in luck and miracles?

yas, my aunt is actually a fortune teller? idk? but she knows a lot about those and spirits thing but since I have low self confidence I mostly sound like I don't believe in them

10. what’s your favorite type of decorations?

aesthetic and pastel colors ✨

11. do you prefer being outside or inside?

booooth

by cutie :

1. Are you a daydreamer? If so, what do you dream about?

sometimes I just space out without even realizing

2. What’s your favorite place in the world?

home

3. What’s home to you?

somewhere that no one can judge me, a safety place, a place where I can let loose and be comfortable and not give a care about anything

4. This is not a question but quote a vine.

"oh hell noOooOoOOoOooOooOO"

5. Grey’s anatomy or House?

what i don't watch any of these

6. Do you have any pets?

a lame excuse of a cat

7. What kind of friend are you? (You know, the mom friend, the meme friend, etc).

the mom friend, scolds you 25/8, gives advises everywhere, comforts you, takes things seriously, drops everything just to listen to you unless I'm in a very bad mood, sacrifices for you, boyfriend material (according to my friend), secretly soft, lazy but exerts effort when needed, randomly does weird things and dances to fortnite, supports you, but lowkey doesn't do the same for myself lol because I'm emo and you can hear me saying bad things about myself 27/10 and pushing you away lol

I don't share my food unless you're important lmao

8. Do you hate someone? If so, why?

fake peopleeee

9. What’s your dream job?

to be a journalism

10. What MCU character resembles you the most? (not physically, more like mentally and emotionally).

probably wanda

11. I won’t use this eleven question as an actual question, use your right to answer to this to talk about whatever the fuck you want. Rant, fangirl, talk about what you did today or yesterday or whatever. Just talk.

I just want to cry to someone but I don't have the heart to tell anyone, I don't know why but I get stressed so easily and that one time our nurse had a seminar and asked if anyone is depressed, I just want to raise my hand but I'm too scared someone will judge me and think of me as a weak person, like now, and she started this speech about how to beat depression and I just can't understand how is that going to work because it doesn't work on me. I'm getting tired of constantly getting sad for no reason and it's bothering my classmates and I hate bothering them I feel like I'm annoying so I kept these thoughts to myself. It's hard trying to avoid spacing out and being so quiet all of the sudden, I'm getting mad at myself for being pathetic and I did the "do" once because I was so desperate to feel something other than sadness and I couldn't even tell anyone and right now I feel like this rant I'm doing is bothering everyone I hate being like this :'(

I'm doooonneee hehehehe that took me like a long time and I should really sleep now :') I will reblog this with my 11 questions and tags because tumblr has limits ugh