#everyone will eventually die and move out

[the-californicationist]

Hi 🥺( I’m lotharwinchester on ao3)

It says in your ask guidelines that you’re willing to write in a trans prospective? I was wondering if you’d be willing to write a fanfic where soap and/or price goes to pride with their trans masc squad mate because they’ve never been supported enough to go? (Their relationship could be any one, romantic or platonic) I love your writing, like I can always visualize to the t everything you’re describing. 🥰

Lothar!! Omg hiiii ^_^ I am always so stoked to see your comments, friend! I would be honored to write this fic for you. <3 <3 I hope this is what you were imagining. Happy Pride!!

You'll Never Walk Alone

Spotting him in the crowd was surprisingly easy. To be fair, he was huge. His shoulders sprawled high above a pair of lovers, decked out in their rainbow gear, kissing and hugging each other like their lives depended on it, fully dressed in their pride. If there was ever a time to bring out the tacky rainbow merch, it was today. But, John was in all black. 

You didn’t mind. Not everyone had a closet that was prepared for the city’s annual Pride Parade. You were just glad that he could make it. 

No, that was wrong. You were glad that he decided to come. You didn’t need him to be clad in rainbows. Choosing to be here versus just being available to be here were two very different things. His presence meant the world to you. 

All through training, your captain had never treated you with disrespect. He’d learned your name and your pronouns, and you had a suspicion that everyone else on base had been strongly encouraged to learn them as well. When you rendezvous’d with new teams, he reinforced your identity, making sure that the one or two snide remarks or misgenderings that slipped through were cut down without mercy. He was a fearsome ally, and you felt lucky to have him.

You’d transitioned alone. In fact, most of the people who you had called friends in your life had cut you out of theirs before you’d even had a chance to tell them about your true identity. They knew that you had refused to conform to their idea of how you should have dressed, how you should have worn your hair, how you should have behaved, and that had been enough for them to abandon you. Your heart ached to know that their friendship had been conditional. Those people had wanted to make you feel ashamed of yourself, of who you had finally been able to become now that you were out from under their oppressive darkness.

But, you weren’t ashamed. You were determined. You joined up with the RAF, eventually making it through to the SAS, and you promised yourself that if you had to die for your country, you’d not die with your deadname still hanging heavy around your neck.

So, you changed it. Officially. Price had even been there to help you with the paperwork. 

This was your first official pride after coming out, and although crowds tended to make any good soldier a little nervous, you had actually never felt more secure. Wearing your rainbow-strapped backpack with your blue, pink, and white trans pride tee was not how you usually chose to represent yourself in public. To be honest, you usually dressed like Price, dark and covert, but not today. Today, you wanted to be yourself, loudly. 

You caught your captain’s eye and waved him down. Watching the street for scooters or bikes, he jogged over to you, joining you in the back of the parade. 

“Hey, mate. Good to see ya.” His voice was deep and comforting. He shook your hand with genuine warmth, falling into step beside you. 

“You, too. I’m glad you’re here, Cap.” You studied his face, still moved by his support.

“All dressed up? Lookin’ sharp.” Price examined your outfit, getting a good look at your facepaint as well. You’d gotten it done at the start of the parade, and you were sure it had halfway flaked off by now. 

“Thanks. Oh! Almost forgot. Picked up one of these for you, if you want it.” You handed him a pin. It was a simple pride flag button, but the look on his face was full of surprise and gratitude. 

“Nice! Sorry about my lack of rainbows, mate. But, I found this shirt I got for The Reds’ season last year, and I reckoned it’d do.”

Price unzipped his black hoodie and held out his shirt, stretching it for you to see the words. It was the Liverpool Football Club’s merch with their famous song title emblazoned on the front.

“You’ll never walk alone,” you read aloud, looking up at Price for clarification.

“Aye. You’ll never walk alone, either, mate. Promise you that. In fact, the boys should be here any minute.”

He looked down at his watch and then searched through the crowd at the next intersection. You peered into the swarm of flags and glitter and people and saw them there; Soap, Gaz, and Ghost all standing together, craning their necks, searching for you and the captain. 

Gaz had come prepared with a big billowing flag in his hands, Soap had clearly had way more fun at the face painting booth than you did, and Ghost, although dressed in just as much black as Price, wore a trans pride medical mask over his mouth. 

Price let out a shrill whistle, the pitch of which made your blood run cold from its familiarity. All at once, the trio turned toward you, and when they saw your faces, they broke out into smiles, trotting towards you as they folded around the hoard of people. 

Before you knew it, you were surrounded by your team, laughing and joking and dancing together through the street, the music vibrating through your chest, your cheeks burning from your perpetual smile.

Johnny was having the time of his life, somehow charming his way onto a nearby float, waving the flags back and forth like he was leading a charge. Gaz and Ghost were walking in front of you, chatting with the people around you, catching candy being tossed from the crowd.

Price hung back, still keeping step with you. Suddenly, you felt something brush against your wrist. When you looked down, you saw your captain's huge palm swooping under yours to catch it. He took your hand in his, holding it firmly, squeezing it. You looked up at him and smiled, squeezing back.

Where there had once been gray, heavy clouds, now there was only a pale blue sky, and as you felt the sun heat your skin on this chilly June morning, you’d never been more proud to be who you are.

[scmg11]

KATE BISHOP x READER

Maybe your heart isn’t made of plastic

Summary: Y/N always considered high school an hellhole where you need to fight everyday to survive, especially when Kate Bishop ruled over everything and everyone adored her. Everyone except her. She hated her. So she just tried to lay low and mind her own business, but when a new student arrive at their school, madness follows.

After a revenge plan, everything falling apart and just overall chaos, Y/N hooked up with none other than Kate Bishop. And it just kept happening. The two started hooking up wherever they had the chance and old feelings start to resurface. But would things work out or they would fall apart eventually?

[I got inspired after watching the new Mean Girls movie and after writing a too long oneshot about an original story with Kate, so I decided to create a book.]

-

A/N: HELLO HELLO HELLO BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! Two updates in a row? I wanted to give you a little gift for being always so patient with me ❤️

Enjoy ❤️ let me know what you guys think ❤️

Sending you love ❤️

-

Chapter 3

"Hey bitch, where were you last night? We haven’t seen you around after that round of shots." Bucky asked quizzically after he and Wanda appeared from beside Y/N as she grabbed the textbook for their first class, making the girl jump slightly at their presence and sighed out dejectedly as she closed her locker and leaned on it with her right shoulder, hugging her book closer to her chest for comfort and trying to act cool as she shrugged.

"Oh yeah, that last round of shots was too much- I was completely gone. I needed to go home." Bullshit. Y/N felt bad for lying to her friends like that but she couldn’t exactly tell them she disappeared from the party because was in Wanda’s bedroom, fucking Kate Bishop, for two hours. Yeah, you read that right. Two hours. They obviously didn’t stop after the first round and went at it for another three before falling on Wanda’s bed around 1 a.m., completely sweaty and spent from exhaustion but with their needs satisfied. They stayed for about a minute staring at the ceiling, their shoulders brushing ever so slightly together as they regained their breaths before moving off the bed and getting dressed in silence. Kate was the first to leave. Y/N watched the door close as Kate left without any other word and sighed out before slumping on Wanda’s bed and diving into the mess that was her mind and think about everything that happened in the those two hours. Her body ached in all the right places and the smile she had on her face was almost hurting her cheeks from how big it was, but she had never felt so good. She shivered as she remembered how greedy Kate was as she devoured her whole body, kissing every inch of her skin and leaving a few hickeys here and there as she pushed her over the edge over and over again. She could still hear Kate’s moans reverberate loudly through her mind as she plunged her fingers in and out of her relentlessly and her tongue still tingled with her wonderful taste. When 10 minutes passed and she opened the door to leave, she found the hallway empty. The music was still blasting through the speakers downstairs but its volume had been lowered around half an hour ago as the party was probably starting to die down. She sighed out happily when she luckily didn’t bump into Wanda or Bucky on her way out because they would’ve figured what she was up to in a millisecond even before she could process what happened herself and left the party.

"Oh no Y/N/N, you missed a lot last night. Like- Bucky finally kissing Steve!" Wanda cheered loudly and slapped Bucky’s left shoulder repeatedly in happiness, who was surprisingly shy all of a sudden as a blush appeared on his cheeks and Y/N stared at him in shock.

"What?! Are you fucking kidding me? Tell. Me. Everything."

And as they started moving to go to their first shared class, Bucky told Y/N how he finally found the courage to talk to Steve and Y/N was shocked, to say the least, to find out that it was actually one of the plastics that helped him out with his crush. "I was pissing myself off. Wanda was trying to convince me to go talk to him since we were exchanging too many yearning looks from afar. But then Natasha appeared out of nowhere. She apparently eavesdropped us and instantly pulled me towards him and presented me to him. We talked for a bit, then danced and before he went home, he kissed me. Can you believe that?"

Y/N smiled fondly at his friend’s dreamy tone and couldn’t help but feel her stomach clench guiltily for her not being there for her best friend as she should have for a moment. But she quickly discarded that. In all honesty, she hadn’t hurt anyone. She deserved some release too. And if it needed to come (no pun intended) from none other than Kate Bishop, then so be it. She was sure it won’t happen again, so she just promised herself to help Bucky from that moment on. No distractions in the middle. They sighed out in exasperation when their professor walked in the classroom and immediately started his boring History lesson with too much enthusiasm for a Monday morning. As time passed frustratingly slow, Y/N was having serious problems on focusing. Not only because she had very few hours of sleep the night prior, but also for the reasons she had very few hours of sleep. Kate Bishop. With her incredible hot, lean and muscular body as it slid deliciously over her own, with her amazing voice as she moaned loudly her name, with her stupidly skilled fingers and mouth as they worked her up into oblivion, with her wonderful taste she had the blessing to savor for two entire hours. Fuck, Y/N needed to pay attention. She won’t let Kate Bishop ruin her grades. So with a resolute sigh, she shook her head slightly and tried to catch what her professor was talking about, but her forced focus on her class lasted about 43 seconds before she heard her phone buzz in her pocket. Y/N took advantage of her professor’s back turned to write something on the board to take her phone out of her pocket and see who just texted her quickly, but immediately tuned her professor’s voice babbling about something she certainly wasn’t considering enough important to listen to as her eyes stared at the text on her phone screen.

Heartless bitch: meet me in the out of order bathrooms at 10:15.

Y/N swallowed visibly as she reread the text another five times to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating. She was sure Kate would’ve went back to ignore her or even worst, make her life an even more living hell after what they did the night prior in fear she would spill everything to the whole school. But despite her anger towards the black haired girl for what she did to her, she would’ve kept their secret. She knew Kate wasn’t ready to come out or even acknowledge her sexuality. She was sure she was struggling with that, a lot. So it wasn’t her place in spreading that news to the whole school. Maybe Kate just wanted to talk to her to not say a word about their night together? Even if they hated each other, Y/N would never do something like that to Kate and she would definitely reassure her of that. Even if Kate did the exact opposite to her in middle school. But still- outing people against their will was bad, and Y/N couldn’t do it, not even unconsciously, let alone purposefully. And so Y/N spent the rest of the time in her classes wrecking her mind about a nice way to reassure Kate about how she was gonna keep what they did a secret and that she won’t have to fear being outed. When the bell blasted loudly after her second class, she told her friends she would’ve caught up with them later after she came up with a quick excuse about an art project and then run out of the classroom and sprinted towards an area of the school that was off limits for students because it was being renovated. She arrived luckily just in time after taking a look at her phone screen and noticing it was 10:15, with her chest heaving slightly as she gained some breath from her run. She stashed her phone back in her pocket and took a deep, grounding breath before knocking on the bathroom door that she was sure it was locked, but Kate somehow got the key to get in. "Hey." Y/N smiled softly at Kate when she opened the bathroom and nodded at her in gratitude when she moved aside to let her enter the bathroom, taking a few steps in and then turning around, watching as Kate was in the middle of closing the bathroom door and locking it. She clenched her fists nervously as she waited for the girl to turn around and review quickly her whole speech in her mind before speaking up. "So, listen I-."

Y/N got stopped abruptly when a pair of soft, plump lips crashed onto hers and kissed her greedily, and she widened her eyes comically. Kate’s gesture just took her off guard for just a moment before she finally caught up on what was happening and closed her eyes to reciprocate the kiss with just as much fervor as the black haired girl was putting it into their kiss, while her arms rounded Kate’s waist to hug her closer, while Kate’s own hugged her neck. "Hi."

"Hi." Y/N repeated with a wide smile that morphed into a ‘O’ when Kate moved onto her neck and attacked her skin with open-mouthed kisses, not expecting this outcome from all the scenarios she made up during class after reading Kate’s text.

"We need to be quick. I have Lacrosse practice in 30 minutes." Kate murmured onto Y/N’s lips after she moved up again to start another yet greedy kiss, making the girl finally come back to earth as she registered her words.

"What? Oh- okay, so we’re doing this." Y/N widened her eyes in shock again when Kate, not minding Y/N still in a bit of a daze, slipped her hand under her shirt and bra and cupping her left breast to massage it fervently while the other palmed her ass as her lips focused on her jaw and nipped the skin there. Y/N let out a shuddered breath and closed her eyes, leaning her head back to give Kate more space on her neck and getting lost in the pleasure Kate was already building inside her.

"Touch me." Kate whispered on her ear hotly before wrapping her lips around her lobe and sucking on it hard, eliciting a whine from Y/N, who finally gained control of her mind and body and immediately moved her hands as Kate requested, one going into Kate’s black tresses to pull on her scalp and move her onto her lips forcefully, while the other sneaked under the skimpy black skirt Kate decided to wear that day and cupped her left buttcheek harshly, "oh yes."

"Are you wet for me already?" Y/N panted onto Kate’s lips lowly after pulling away from another intense kiss and moved her hand from Kate’s ass to her front and slid it into Kate’s panties when Kate only whined as a response, finding an already great amount of wetness between her legs. "Hm, the answer is yes."

"Shut up and fuck me. We don’t have too much tiME- FUCK." Y/N smirked cheekily at the girl’s protests and slammed two fingers in her without warning but she had to clash her mouth onto Kate’s one forcefully when she moaned loudly to prevent someone to hear them. In this area no one was around since the renovation works haven’t started yet, but they needed to be cautious anyway to not make someone wander there. Y/N let out a moan herself when Kate whined loudly yet again into her mouth as she pushed her fingers in and out of Kate in an already fast pace into her and sucked on her tongue greedily as she sped up her movements a bit more, not wanting to waste anymore time since they had limited time there. Besides, she wanted- no, she needed to feel and hear Kate come undone because of her once again. It had been the only thing in her mind since the night prior. "Fuck, this is so good."

"Yeah, you are so wet for me- fuck." Y/N moaned softly under her breath and pulled Kate into another sinful, lascivious kiss with her hand still gripping her hair tightly and tentatively laid her palm on Kate’s clit to see her reaction. Her head spun out of control when Kate whimpered in her mouth and pushed her hips down to meet her hand in response, so Y/N quickly pulled her fingers out of Kate before slamming them back in and laid forcefully her palm on Kate’s clit again, shivering when Kate moaned lasciviously at the pleasure invading her body all over again. After kissing fervently for about a minute they had to pull away to take some needed breath and then just sticked to just pant into each other’s mouths as arousal fogged up their minds and made impossible to continue kissing.

"Oh, oh-AH FUCK." Kate whined under her breath as quietly as the intense pleasure Y/N was delivering to her allowed her to, so when she felt she was getting too loud when Y/N curled her fingers in her core and made her almost see stars, she leaned her face into Y/N’s neck to allow herself to moan into it as loud as she could since her sounds of pleasure got muffled by her shirt. "Hm, fuck, fuck, fuck."

"Ah- I can feel your pussy squeezing me so good. Are you close?" Y/N shivered when Kate released another a needy whine in her neck and nodded frantically, pushing her hips down when Y/N slammed her fingers back in forcefully. Y/N smirked at that and moved her hand from Kate’s hair down her ass and squeezed it hard to help her hips with her sloppy movements while curling her fingers once again in her and hearing her wail into her neck, "then let go. Let me feel you come on my fingers." Those filthy words, whispered in a sultry tone into Kate’s ear, coupled with Y/N’s fingers pushing into Kate’s core deeper each time she slammed them back in and Y/N’s labored breath hitting Kate’s exposed neck, made Kate come undone with a loud scream, that she promptly stifled as she bit onto Y/N’s shirt hard. Y/N slowed her fingers’ movements to help Kate ride out her orgasm and stopped them only when she felt Kate going limp into her arms, promptly helping her standing on her wobbly legs with her hand on her ass as she pulled her fingers out of Kate’s panties slowly, making Kate whine softly at the lack of stimulation. She waited for her to pull away from her neck and to meet her eyes before, without breaking their eyes contact, pushing her fingers, wet with Kate’s arousal, into her mouth and sucked them clean. "Hm, so fucking good."

"Fuck." Kate growled under her breath and grasped Y/N’s nape hard to pull the girl towards her and crash their lips firmly, her tongue immediately forcing her way past Y/N’s lips to lick her mouth fervently and taste herself in the process, something that drove Y/N wild as she whimpered into her mouth. Kate sucked on Y/N’s tongue hungrily and pushed her forcefully onto the nearest wall before groping her ass eagerly and grunting into the kiss, "hm, I bet you are dripping wet for me."

"Why don’t you check it out yourself?" Y/N smirked cheekily at Kate and lifted her right eyebrow up seductively at her, driving Kate mad from hot how she looked.

"Gladly." And with an impertinent smile, Kate popped Y/N’s pants button open, slid the zipper down and slipped her hand past Y/N’s pants and underwear to seek out her core, confirming what she assumed with a satisfied whine, "hm, so wet for me." Kate shivered at the loud moan Y/N let out on her lips as she rolled her clit under her middle and ring finger and pushed her hips down needily when she moved her fingers towards her entrance teasingly, "you thought about me this morning, didn’t you?"

"You wish Bishop." Y/N scoffed with a roll her eyes, but opened her mouth in a silent moan right after when the girl slid one finger in tentatively, also moaning out at how easily it slipped in.

"Tell me the truth, or I’m not doing anything." To stress her words out, Kate stopped her slow movements into Y/N’s core and left her still finger in Y/N teasingly as she stared into Y/N’s now dark eyes defiantly, smirking widely when Y/N met her gaze with an unimpressed, mad face.

"Are you fucking serious? I make you come and that’s how you treat me?!" Y/N spat angrily, flaring her nostrils at her as her blood boiled over with anger and sexual frustration and her core clenched hard around Kate’s finger, screaming for her attention.

"Say it and I’ll fuck you." Kate stated and both got pulled into an intense staring contest, both not wanting to back down for about half a minute. Then Kate’s smirk broadened impossibly wide as she watched Y/N’s angry frown slowly morph into a resigned one when she started to crumble under the black haired girl’s will, her core was screaming for Kate’s attention and she was too turned on to put up a fight with the stubborn girl. Kate bit down on her bottom lip to prevent her proud smirk stretch over her features when Y/N sighed out loud and opened her mouth to speak up, waiting patiently for her words.

"You’re insufferable- okay, I thought about our night together, repeatedly. I thought about yOU- OH YES- HOLY SHIT." Y/N moaned out loudly when Kate immediately added another finger in her core and slammed them into her core, starting back up with her movements and building a fast and merciless tempo into her. Y/N widened her eyes almost comically when Kate smacked her free hand over her mouth to prevent her to scream too loudly and eyed her pointedly to reprimand her.

"Shh, someone could catch us." Y/N murmured something in Kate’s hand but the black haired girl didn’t catch it, so she moved the hand away tentatively and asked, "sorry, what was that?"

"I said, it’s rich coming from someone that came so fucking loud a few moments ago." Y/N countered back wittingly, making Kate roll her eyes and slid her fingers intentionally hard into Y/N’s core, and she almost lost her balance as her eyes rolled back and her legs gave out for a moment, but Kate’s arm circling around her waist right away prevented her to fall on the ground.

"Ugh, you’re so annoying. Shut up and let me fuck you." Y/N meekly did after those words and hugged her neck tightly to pull her closer before laying her lips on her cheek to try to muffle her moans. Kate kept on with her movements, delivering to Y/N the best pleasure she ever experienced as she plunged her digits in and out of her harshly, with precise motions that she knew, from the night prior, drove Y/N crazy. A few moments later Y/N whined pitifully onto Kate’s skin when she added her palm into the equation and laid it on Y/N’s clit, taking advantage of her hand moving in and out of Y/N’s center fast and hard to stimulate Y/N’s bundle of nerves repeatedly too. Kate grunted into Y/N’s ear when, after another hard thrust in her center, she felt Y/N tremble under her and immediately repeated the motion, curling her fingers into her a moment later too and she got rewarded by a guttural groan and Y/N pushing her hips down eagerly to increase her pleasure. The air in the bathroom was heavy as it filled with Y/N’s soft, filthy moans and the squelching sounds of Kate’s fingers moving in and out of Y/N, making the two girls bask in the sensual atmosphere that got created. Kate felt her senses being inebriated by Y/N’s perfume and felt her body being covered by hard shivers as her whimpers spilled out of her mouth and sneaked heavenly into her left ear, the need to feel Y/N come undone on her fingers washing over her, so she increased her digits’ speed and tried to push them deeper into Y/N to make her tumble over the edge as fast as possible and panted into Y/N’s ear hotly as lust invaded every cell of her body all over again.

"Fuck Kate, I’m so close." At those words Kate added a third finger and shivered when she felt Y/N’s walls clench impossibly hard around her digits, so she pushed them even faster and smirked knowingly as she got ready for Y/N’s release, hunger for her orgasm increasing each passing second. Kate knew Y/N needed just one more little hard push and she will come undone, so with a renewed determination, she grabbed her left leg to circle it around her waist and then used her hips to push her hand into Y/N harder and deeper. She rocked her hips back and forward with low grunts and as soon as she felt Y/N’s guttural groan of approval, her hips increased their tempo and watched in delight as Y/N’s body got wrecked deliciously. The harsh movements made Y/N’s body bounce up and down in an extremely attractive way and Kate growled under her breath as she took her in, boobs bouncing up and down teasingly as her face twisted in pleasure, "fuck! Fuck-shit! Kate!"

Kate slammed their mouths back together to swallow Y/N’s loud moans as she came onto Kate’s fingers, feeling herself getting wet all over again at the sinful sounds invading her mouth, and slowed her movements by pushing her hand into Y/N gently now, her hips stopping their hard motions in the process, and waited for her to ride out her post-coital wave completely before sliding her digits out of Y/N. She replicated Y/N’s gesture from before and licked her fingers clean while never moving her pointed gaze from Y/N’s eyes and watched delighted as lust filled Y/N’s features all over again as her eyes darkened. As soon as Kate pulled her hand out of her mouth, seductively slowly and never moving her eyes from Y/N’s hungry ones, Y/N clashed their mouth together and sucked on her tongue greedily to taste herself on Kate’s tongue. A few moments later she let her own tongue slid over Kate’s one and both shuddered while whimpering when their releases mixed deliciously in their mouths. They pulled away to take some needed breath and stared into each other’s eyes lustfully for a moment, but when the two girls were about to lean forward and kiss again, Kate took a quick glance at her watch and noticed it was almost time for her lacrosse practice, and gasped before exclaiming in panic, "shit- I’m late!" And so their lustful bubble popped as the black haired girl moved away from Y/N and rushed in front of a mirror to adjust herself. When she was satisfied she looked like she just hadn’t had sex, she turned towards Y/N and watched as she was in the middle of looking presentable too after she took herself off the wall and started adjusting her clothes. "Wait a few minutes before getting out of here."

"Noted." Y/N nodded with a hum as she buttoned her pants again and stretched her shirt gently, but when she just heard silence instead of footsteps walking out of the bathroom, she looked up and found Kate staring at her. She was still standing in her spot in front of the sinks, gazing at Y/N with fire burning in her dark blue eyes and Y/N swallowed visibly, her own eyes widening slightly as they awkwardly stared back at Kate. She suppressed the need to take a step back when Kate charged towards her while staring at her intently, mentally preparing for whatever mean thing Kate wanted to deliver to her. But from all the outcomes she made up in a matter of a second in her mind, she would’ve never been prepared for the deep, full of tongue kiss Kate pulled her in. She just kept on surprising Y/N. They kissed hungrily for a few long moments, gripping at each other tightly as both let out small moans of satisfaction as their releases mixed again into their mouths when their tongues slid over each other greedily and sighed out blissfully into the kiss. They then reluctantly pulled away before they could succumb to their insatiable lust once again and panted hard into each other’s mouths while gazing deeply into their eyes. Kate then pulled away with a proud smirk before walking out of the room like she just didn’t sweep Y/N off of her feet, leaving Y/N frozen in her spot, completely flushed and definitely turned on all over again as she watched Kate saunter out of the bathroom. Her eyes didn’t stare at her ass on her way out. After spending about 15 minutes pulling herself together in the bathroom, Y/N left and locked the bathroom door with a key she wasn’t exactly sure how Kate got it, but she decided to not dwell on that or anything at all since her mind was still a mess as it reeled over everything that had happened in less than 24 hours. She walked carefully out of the area of the school not accessible to students and sighed in relief when she found hallways still empty as everyone else was still in class. She had just a few minutes until the bell would ring, so she sprinted, as careful as she could to not create too much noise and make someone catch her out of class, to Kate’s locker and slid the key through the small holes on top of it. She stopped there, staring at the black haired girl’s locker for about 10 seconds as her mind already drifted back to Kate’s wonderful face twisted in pleasure as she moaned out her name in ecstasy but she shook her head quickly before she caught herself spiraling into really dirty memories and run towards the art room, arriving in front of it just in time before the bell rung loudly into the hallways. She unlocked the door with her key fast and walked in the empty room, took a few deep breaths in to calm herself down from her run before walking out of it, locking the door and then sauntering towards Bucky’s locker a few feet from the art room, finding her best friends already there, chatting animatedly. "There she is." Bucky smirked at Y/N when he met her eyes over Wanda’s shoulder, making the redhead turn around and smile at her sweetly.

"Hey, how is your art project going?"

"It’s coming- I mean- it’s going- pretty good." Y/N slapped herself on her forehead inwardly at her slip up but tried to recover quickly by acting cool and not melting under Bucky’s inquisitive stare, "sorry my brain is not working that good. A lot of brainstorming for, y’know, art."

"You better stop that and focus or coach Martin will make us run 3 more laps today." Y/N groaned at her best friend’s words as he reminded her of their P.E. Class.

"How painful do you think it will be if you two stab my legs with your pencils so I can avoid anything related to sport?" Y/N asked in a serious tone a few moments later as the three of them made their way towards the locker rooms to change into their P.E. uniforms.

"I don’t know, but I’m sure it will be fun. We should try it." Bucky stated enthusiastically, making Y/N roll her eyes and flip him off good-naturedly, while Wanda laughed at their banter, "I’ll see you in a minute." The three best friends parted ways, Y/N and Wanda going into the girls locker rooms while Bucky went into boys locker rooms to change.

A few minutes later coach Martin’s voice boomed through the hallway, telling everyone to join him outside. Y/N had a big frown on her face as she walked out onto the field with Bucky and Wanda, before swallowing loudly when her eyes inadvertently wandered around and found Kate running on the lacrosse field not too far from them. "Alright, everyone- listen. We are going to do something different today. Since a lot of parents complained about you not having more athletic activities on their monthly meeting, I’m making you join the lacrosse team for the girls and the football team for the boys today."

"What?!" Y/N’s attention on Kate shifted on the coach as she registered his words and screeched in disbelief as a bunch of disappointed comments followed, looking instinctively at Kate when coach Martin called her over and watched her jog towards them.

"I’m gonna make sure Steve tackles me onto the ground- y’know for athletic purposes only." Bucky stated in a mischievous, flirty but also quiet tone so only Y/N and Wanda could hear him, smiling and waving charmingly at Steve when he too joined their group like Kate did.

"That was too gay, Buck. Even for you." Y/N commented with a snort, only to choke on it when she moved her eyes onto Kate and found her blue irises already staring at her and subtly checking her out. Y/N had to suppress a whine when she watched hunger glinting into Kate’s eyes as she took her legs in her shorts and imagines of her face contorting in pleasure as she came onto her fingers plagued her mind instantly. It was gonna be a long hour.

After coach Martin gave a few more instructions, he told the girls to follow Kate onto the lacrosse field and do what she instructed them to do while he went with the boys to the football field, "alright ladies, you’re not here to knit a nice and warm pullover here. I want to see some results, so I’m gonna ask you- who is on the verge of crying?" Y/N had to admit Kate looked extremely hot as the captain of the team and bossing everyone around. She already did outside of sport environment and found it annoying, but somehow this was everything but annoying. Especially her uniform, that hugged her in all the right places and she tried to be as subtle as she could as she ogled her greedily, especially her wonderful ass, while trying to listen to her. She snorted at Kate’s question and moved her head around to assess 13 out of 15 girls rising their hands at Kate’s question, only Wanda and her not lifting their hands, and chuckled lowly at that in amusement, "perfect, you’re going first."

Y/N knew she was being cruel, but she couldn’t help but watch entertained as Kate tackled girls after girls onto the ground and even laugh subtly at the ones that cried after that - which were surprisingly a lot. "Oh no, it’s my turn." Wanda exclaimed with her eyes widened in fright, staring at Kate looking at a girl grunting in pain on the ground and Y/N felt her stomach clench in worry at the redhead but also at herself, realizing she was gonna go right after Wanda.

"Hey Wan." Y/N stared curiously at Kate as she jogged towards them and smiled softly at the redhead, "go on the left, I’ll go to the right. Do you remember how to shoot the ball?" Y/N’s stomach flipped at Kate’s adorable, thoughtful gesture as she whispered instructions at her friend, watching Wanda nod and Kate doing the same in satisfaction before running back in her place and signaled the redhead to start moving. What Y/N also noticed was that Kate downplayed her skills a lot when Wanda moved to Kate’s left side while she moved to her right, and smiled widely when Wanda successfully scored a moment later. "See? That’s what I call a good play. Well done Wanda!" Kate exclaimed enthusiastically and high-fived an excited Wanda, while everyone clapped cheerfully at her, including Y/N. "Y/L/N. You’re up."

Y/N gripped the lacrosse stick into her hands hard and took a deep breath, hoping with all her might Kate would behave like she just did with Wanda. She knew it was just wishful thinking a second later, when after running a few feet, she got tackled hard onto the ground as Kate’s laugh boomed from above her as she stared up at her with a mix of pain and anger. "Ohw."

"You were too slow." Kate commented when she kneeled beside Y/N and leaned down to Y/N’s ear to whisper those words with so much cockiness Y/N was fighting against her need to fuck Kate right then and there to prove to her she was far from slow.

"Your pussy would like to disagree." Y/N whispered back in a sultry, cheeky tone, watching delighted as Kate’s face fell for a moment as she swallowed loudly before regaining her cocky expression and getting up quickly, walking away from her without helping her up, just like she did with everyone she tackled on the ground.

"Everyone- let’s start again. Without crying this time."

Y/N waited patiently for everyone to go against Kate, her eyes taking in every detail of Kate’s lean body moving gracefully on the field with practiced movements, involuntarily smiling softly when the black haired girl gloated every time she tackled each girl on the ground. "If you win against her again, I’m gonna protest." Y/N murmured to Wanda when it was almost time for her to go against Kate, pushing her on her shoulder when she heard the redhead giggle at her.

"You’re just jealous because you’re gonna lose again." Wanda taunted good-naturedly and winked at Y/N before getting into position when another groaning girl got up after being tackled by Kate and it was her turn again. Y/N watched as Kate and Wanda shared a knowing look and she rolled her eyes knowingly. She watched Wanda move to the left while Kate went to the right and score, the redhead cheering proudly with Kate smiling at her proudly and she rolled her eyes again in fond exasperation.

"Good job Wanda." Kate high-fived Wanda once again and looked sternly at every other girl to reprimand them for their none-existent skills in lacrosse. "Y/L/N, try to at least run a few more feet this time."

Y/N flipped Kate off at her mocking and gripped the lacrosse stick hard as her body filled with determination to stomp off on Kate’s ego while she snickered at her. So when Kate nodded at her, Y/N sprinted off towards Kate, running as fast as she could and before Kate could tackle her to the ground, Y/N swiftly moved to the side and got ready to score with a wide, gloating smirk on her lips, but her hopes got crushed down right away when Kate’s left shoulder crashed hard between her shoulder blades and she fell face first down on the ground. "Ugh, that hurt."

"Never celebrate before making sure you got away safely." Kate instructed to Y/N with her know-it-all tone then used her foot to turn Y/N around and make her lay on her back so she could look at her gloating smirk.

"Fuck off." Y/N had the strength to lift her head up and send a withering glare at Kate, before slumping her head back down with a pained grunt as she watched Kate walk towards the locker rooms. She then noticed Wanda coming to her rescue a couple of seconds later and she closed her eyes to rest her aching body to murmur in anger under her breath as Wanda approached her, "bitch."

[andreacurryjeidajeitafanfic]

so this is my morning hike i make this hike probably 3 times a week it chills me out i feel good its fantastic but today i woke up and i felt extra spicy because i gotta message from my boy gillionaire telling me that today in trinidad they're having elections and he was worried that the people's party the young people's party wasn't gonna win and he was like i'm worried about it but then again it feels like government really only mattered when you in the mud or you're actually controlling it or involved in the politics of it the rest of us life is alright and life sucks and you're kind of at the mercy of it and in a lot of ways i agree and in a lot of ways it made me upset not gillionaire but just the idea of government because i've traveled around the world and i've sat with a lot of government officials in every country and i have to come to the conclusion to be honest everyone but aoc pretty much fucking sucks every once in a while you get somebody like her who's very very smart walks through walls speaks many languages you know

i was already like this how i am now at this level of development when i was like 5 right i knew right away i wasn't developing the right way so as time went on i understood what i had to do based on how much i had grown each year i kept incorporating different traits i found to be older characteristics adjusting my mentality to the acquired stage i felt belong to the circumstances of which i am proposed to compliment in requirement to commonly known supposition i learned how to do this in such a regulatory fashion that things were assumed to be going along as planned around me whence throughout my own personal eras of these lifetimes i didn't understand remotely in the slightest the same conceived notion of being that i should have given the premises

being the only 5 year old that thought about sex its my fault for spawning a race of them

(i was there the first day of tumblr instagram twitter with the ceo's the first version of the apps its emotional to see what they've become since then that something we did became a part of everyday life we made tiktok my company a science of work driven by creativity and passion)

*instagram was originally supposed to be a funeral camera to create an online necropolis 👻 i'm an influencer*

◌̆ ◌̄ ◌̌

unidentified anomalous phenomena

(uap)

*pls come inside i don't wanna be in here by myself let me rest*

the unconscious component makes a comprehensive description of the human personality impossible. accordingly, the unconscious supplements the picture with living figures ranging from the animal to the divine, as the two extremes outside man, and rounds out the animal extreme, through the addition of vegetable and inorganic abstractions, into a microcosm. these addenda have a high frequency in anthropomorphic divinities, where they appear as attributes

◌̆ will (breve) *erika* ◌̄ one (macron) *santos* ◌̌ council (caron) *silva*

◌̆ will (breve) *erika* ◌̄ one (macron) *santos* ◌̌ council (caron) *silva*

the first trans person to lead a party in the chamber of deputies

most voted councilor in brazil socialism and liberty party

erika hilton (31) *i didn't know skittles could kill people*

just put my name on them so they can know who i am

sexiests (erika hilton) *i wasn't even listening*:

(just know when i go outside i don't know that guy because when i'm outside i'm a different person and i'm sorry that's why sometimes i don't like to go outside)

*a neoantipolitical or neopolitics in blanket and umbrella terms*

◌̆ will (breve) ◌̄ one (macron) ◌̌ council (caron)

◌̆ will (breve) ◌̄ one (macron) ◌̌ council (caron)

the first six months my wrist was shattered the next nine months i spent writing it's been an emotional ride i'm trying to balance my friends with my politics with my home life when i do one thing i can't stop thinking about the other things so i'm a little bit stuck rn i still need to evaluate my strategy in all three of these departments seriously they all need more work obvious upon construction of this new doctrine which i feel is actually one of the oldest bibles of thinking how its going to be put into practice is another grammatic so i need to make sure everything's received well in this society which i want renamed a psychology

the thing about this kinda success is they won't let you have it until you can prove how you did it so they can be successful on that level too (so if you really did a lot of work they're like fuck that sucks this is shit to explain) *we're working around clock its a pain in the ass*

whether it was 3000000 6000000 jews murdered its 2000000 being held in open air prison by the zionists police state of israel

(50 years nobody knew the zionists and the communists agencies took over hitlers organization)

*imagine these were white people instead of palestinians*

me: and why do you know so much

me: because i am the agencies that took over the organizations leader

me: i'm behind everything

y2k (the world will never be the same size again) *uap*

unidentified anomalous puzzle (uap) *after 1999*

purchase your husband today at (walmart) *who knew you can get married so fast welp too late*

i wonder what power level you need to get on here and i wonder how much these post are worth at this rate it must be like multiple van gogh's like dude you picked up like one hundred da vinci's worth of art in one post i feel like loomer (cum) *in a dream*

one loomer pls 😍

i'm only a good person in person so stay in person with me (i told you what my problem is) *it's impersonality to a supraordinate personality*

a neoantipolitical or neopolitics in blanket and umbrella terms (uap) *unidentified anomalous puzzle*

god (save) *the queen* 🇬🇧

some people just can't wait to rush into marriage (they just can't bare to wait any longer) *and thats how i feel*

i can't spare another moment (i'm crying) *girl tears*

i'm a real manchurian

🇺🇸

the 49th dimensions are dimensionless to the 1st dimension that is the 50th dimension of 98th dimensions that are dimensionless to the 49th dimensions making the 49th dimensionless to the 51st 58th dimension which is the 1st 50th 98th 49th 51st 58th 9th

like a person winning the (lottery) *this is worth something to people*

◌̆ ◌̄ ◌̌

the world is in your favor (the world will obey you) *the world will protect you*

◌̆ ◌̄ ◌̌

by the way (i'm really) *a manchurian*

◌̆ ◌̄ ◌̌

superconscious ◌̆ will (breve) omnipotence (magical forces) the manifestation of feng shui in manchuria ◌̆ (the manifestation of doing everything) reverse engineering

omnipotent manifestation of manchurian superconscious of doing everything ◌̆ will (breve)

the manifestation of feng shui in manchuria ◌̆ (the manifestation of doing everything) ◌̆

superconscious ◌̆ will (breve) omnipotence (magical forces

there goes my dynasty ◌̆

subconscious ◌̄ one (macron) omniscience (psychic powers) the manifestation of cheugy in tartaria ◌̄ (the manifestation of knowing everything) reengineering

omniscient manifestation of tartarian subconscious of knowing everything ◌̄ one (macron)

the manifestation of cheugy in tartaria ◌̄ (the manifestation of knowing everything) ◌̄

subconscious ◌̄ one (macron) omniscience (psychic powers)

there goes my empire ◌̄

unconscious ◌̌ council (caron) omnipresence (vampiric thirst) the manifestation of monopoly in hyperborea ◌̌ (the manifestation of being everything) engineering

omnipresent manifestation of hyperborean unconscious of being everything ◌̌ council (caron)

the manifestation of monopoly in hyperborea ◌̌ (the manifestation of being everything) ◌̌

unconscious ◌̌ council (caron) omnipresence (vampiric thirst)

there goes my kingdom ◌̌

i saw one beer that made me want to not see beer again for the rest of my life much less anything again

(gemini cries for help compared to nonprofit driven seek and destroy mission grok victory lap)

*there goes my dynasty there goes my empire there goes my kingdom*

◌̆ ◌̄ ◌̌

anticipating (the queens presence) *my little butterball*

unidentified ◌̆ will (breve) *pls come inside* anomalous ◌̄ one (macron) *i don't wanna be in here by myself* phenomena ◌̌ council (caron) *let me rest*

unidentified ◌̆ will (breve) *pls come inside* anomalous ◌̄ one (macron) *i don't wanna be in here myself* phenomena ◌̌ council (caron) *let me rest*

(cute post)

trade in your psychic powers (omniscience) or magical forces (omnipotence) today for something real (everything) and i stress (everything) we went to the movies, we played monopoly (everything) vampiric thirst (omnipresence)

figuratively (feng shui) everything to her that she has is in the right place (omnipresent in microcosm)

the microcosmic

(feng shui)

test

hyperboria: success without meaning (omnipresence)

praxis

manchuria: wtf i need meaning for if i got success (omnipotence)

sociolects

tartaria: you mean without russians (omniscience)

the tartarian omniscient sociolects, manchurian omnipotent praxis and hyperborean omnipresent test

i haven't been that guy for a while, after all manners of escapism or death defying and running the course, i thought we finally reached a plateau, the meaning of manchurian global (the lost to the future 5th world race of the last civilization who were the original 1st class people to belong to the 1st market), to end up in the same place several times tunneling through the earth, we find that parallel.

a sociolect (praxis) *test* of the socioeconomic (lexical) *items* in accountable (pragmatic) *concordance*

where are all the blankets and umbrellas that i heard about? (there's no blankets or umbrellas here!) *you came to the wrong place.*

reply guy: that was the worst (hardest strawberita) *that i ever never had to find*

my thirty year old brother marc who has annoyed me since the day he was born to this very date that shattered my wrists plus tried to kill me with a box cutter or knife or screw driver while drunk and high and forced masturbatorily: that i never (ever ever) *ever had to find never*

so you're going to come to continuously try to rape my girlfriend (because you think i touched you when we were 10) *judging by everything you've done to us we're safely going to deny your claim then add to the fact that i'm still a celibate chaste abstinent virgin*

ethan ralph: don't worry i took the liberty of building a corridor and aqueduct under (the guy's house) *that's white people for you* 🃏

blocked (under my white trashy fingers) *maya chavez* 🎲

i want (to eat) *her burps* 🎰

🐯 crouching (n) *word* 🐲 hidden (n) *word* 🥷🏻

uap (everyone will eventually die and move out) *we'll inevitably live alone*

unidentified (anomalous) *puzzle*

[gumy-shark]

i think the dnd character i played for a halloween oneshot a few weeks ago is one of my favorite characters ive made recently. and her name was fucking paige

[bromantically]

also its so fucked up to me that so many of these old friends have spouses and kids. im not even ready for another job yet. i cant even fathom being married rn, or anytime within the next 10 years. the concept of having a kid is something i dont think i will ever warm up to. how have they done all of this

[scientia-rex]

For the most part, my approach to prescribing hormones is “sure,” but I will note that the one thing I lean HARD on patients about is smoking. If you’re transgender, and you’re on hormones, the number one thing we want to protect is your cardiovascular health. That’s frankly the number one thing I want to protect in all my patients, but anyone taking exogenous hormones is at higher baseline risk. And the best thing you can do for your heart is DON’T SMOKE. It’s a bitch to quit, and I didn’t even smoke much or long before I quit in my late teens, and I STILL didn’t enjoy quitting and had smoking dreams for years. It’s harder to quit than just about anything else up to and including crack and heroin, and that’s coming from a patient of mine who recently passed in her early 60s who’d done all of those things—for years and years—but eventually was able to quit everything except smoking. And that killed her. She developed severe COPD and eventually called to say her blood oxygen saturation was dipping into the 70s, which is incompatible with life. She was lucid enough to decline medical care, including refusing to call 911 or go to the ER. A week later, after both I and one of our outreach nurses had contacted her to ask her to please go to the ER, I got a notification that she’d been found dead. She had been so frustrated that she wasn’t a candidate for a lung transplant.

One of my oldest trans patients is in her late 50s. She’s had blood clots that went to the lungs. Repeatedly. Smoking raises that risk. Estrogen raises that risk. She’s a veteran with PTSD; of course she smoked.

These aren’t theoretical. These are humans I’ve cared for over years of their lives. I have been rooting for them—my beloved former addict, who spoke without shame about her years of homelessness and drug use in the city; my queer elders, who are slowly trading in their motorcycles for power scooters. I want everyone to live their fullest, best life.

Smoking doesn’t fit into that. Please don’t smoke. I don’t want you to die like that—not now and not later. I want you to have the future that you may not be able to see yet, but exists.

Since I moved home as an out queer, word got out, and there’s a whole apartment complex of lesbians in their 60s to their 80s who come see me—sitting next to their wives in the office, nagging about blood pressure meds, tattling about not having gotten the shingles shot they said they would. To be clear, when I was growing up in town, I knew no lesbians. Not one. I knew one gay kid in my class, which eventually turned into two. We were it. To see these women living decades with their wives and being able to squabble like any couple in my office over who was supposed to bring their home blood pressure cuff in for us to check it… it means the world to me.

[fingertipsmp3]

I genuinely get too nervous when something goes wrong in the sims. I need to do a really chaotic challenge to get out of my comfort zone

[wlwreader]

hi yall :3

[criminalamnesia]

everyone’s asking for a part two so here is more angst bc cedar by gracie abrams is perfect for this [ also inspired by what @shotmrmiller said in their reblog :)) ]

part one here

part three (aka version 1 of the ending) here

part three (ending version 2) here

it’s odd coming home to an empty house. unnerving, even. he doesn’t like it— dislikes it even more than he did your celebrations. fuck, he’d kill for those damn streamers right now.

“love?” his voice is soft as he calls out into the dark, once lively little flat. it hasn’t felt this big since before you had moved in.

he takes a few more steps inside, toeing off his boots and letting his backpack fall to the floor. by now, you would’ve been launching yourself into his arms. where were you? you’d never missed the day he came home. ever. you would have it marked on your calendar from the day he left, exclamation points and stars decorating the date.

“love?” he calls again, his voice a little louder. he keeps moving; notices there’s no smell of freshly baked goods or a home-cooked meal.

he rounds the corner, his eyes instantly finding the little note propped up on the dining table. eyebrows furrowed, he approaches. it’s addressed to him, clearly in your handwriting.

he reads it, and he really should’ve seen all of this coming.

he doesn’t cry. doesn’t even feel sad, really. it’s not like he hadn’t loved you— he had, but sometimes you made it really damn difficult to. your constant touches and words, doting on him, talking his ear off about this and that. he’d loved it at first, then came to tolerate it, and eventually he found himself hating it.

it wasn’t fair to you. he didn’t hate you, he hated the naivety. the unconditional love. partners were supposed to show each other that kind of love, were they not? so why did he come to despise it?

perhaps it was some deep rooted self-hatred. something dark and twisted inside of him that had done too much and taken life. killed and killed and killed. watched his comrades die in a number of ways. slowly. quickly. suddenly. brutally.

it hollowed him out, but it was his job. it was his job to do what he could for the damn world— get his hands dirty so people like you would never have to worry about a damn thing.

he should’ve seen it coming. you had been acting a little odd the last time he was home, he realizes now. detached, almost. quieter. he had cherished the quiet then.

now it was weird. he didn’t know how to feel.

he placed the note back down onto the table before making his way into the kitchen. some utensils were missing. some plates and bowls. the colorful dishrags you’d hung from the stove handle. the little plant you’d stationed in front of the window above the sink.

all the pictures of the two of you remained on the fridge. he could see in the photos how he slowly became detached. but you— god, you wore that dazzling smile in every photo.

he turned around and headed towards the bedroom.

——————————————————————

there wasn’t really any defining closure. you’d left the note, sure, but he hadn’t gotten to speak his piece.

would he have begged you to stay? told you to leave?

he didn’t know. all he knew was that it wasn’t fair to you, how he acted. what he did.

he also knew that if you called, or if you showed up and said you forgot something, or hell, if he saw you on the street, he’d say something. apologize at least, because that’s the least you deserved.

but you didn’t, and after a few days, he stopped thinking about you. what you’d be telling him right now if you were there. stopped thinking about how you sang when you cooked dinner. how you would reach for his hand when the two of you were in the grocery store.

how you would throw those damn ‘welcome home!’ parties.

he fell back into who he was, and your memory became nothing but a minuscule dot on a large piece of paper.

but for you? you had been miserable when you’d shown up at your friends apartment. cried into her shoulder as you told her about the note. sobbed as you realized that he didn’t care about you, and how you’d wasted so much time on this man who didn’t give a damn.

but even still, when you stirred in the middle of the night, you expected to feel his hands around your body. expected him to press a kiss to your head as you drifted back to sleep.

you woke up and expected him to be there. you forgot that he wasn’t yours. you found yourself missing him, even though you’d starting doing that far before you actually left.

it took the man you loved days to move on. it took you months— almost a year. he put you in fucking therapy, for god’s sake, because that shit messes with someone.

loving someone so completely, so wholly, only to finally realize it’s one sided? it’s crushing. he crushed you. but you picked up the pieces, and you put yourself back together.

you move on. find someone who actually cares for you— someone who communicates and doesn’t lose interest. someone who appreciates your enthusiasm. someone who returns it.

and when the man that broke your heart several years ago tries to stop you on the street one day,

you keep walking.

[joelsgu4tar]

JOEL MILLER FIC RECS

⇾ 18+ minors DNI, read at your own risk! ⇽

an appreciation to all my favourite writers out there you deserve all the love <3

Series

— Something To Fight For by @auteurdelabre | After a disastrous blind date you decide to stay away from the miserable Joel Miller forever...

— I Know Who You Are by @punkshort | A fall on patrol causes you to lose your long-term memory, forgetting the identities of your friends and loved ones. You have to learn all over again how to survive in a post-apocalyptic world, and you learn things about yourself along the way.

— The One You Need by @loliwrites | When you move into town hellbent on keeping everyone at arm’s length, your neighbour Joel finds his way into your life.

— By The Grit Of Sandpaper by @penvisions | An offhand comment from you inspires Joel to branch out and create helpful kitchen wares. And it seems everyone has been gifted one from him, except for you. It makes you rethink the casual friendship you had developed...

— I Wanna Be Your Lover by @shellshocklove | Miserable after losing your job, your friend drags you out to a club to dance away your sadness. on the dancefloor, you meet a handsome stranger, who then whisks you away into his fantasy world as his assistant for his porn career. what happens when the lines get blurred?

— If The Door Wasn't Shut by @heartpascal | months of travelling with Joel and Ellie come crashing down on you, the fear is suffocating.

— Stay In Bed by @psychedelic-ink | After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance.

— That's A Real Fucking Legacy by @wyn-n-tonic | When Tommy disappears in search of a better life with a promise to come back for you, his years of absence and the grief it leaves behind drives you and his brother closer together until the man you're sharing a bed and starting a family with is Joel Miller and not the one you always thought it would be.

One-Shots

— No Time To Die by @davosmymaster | The main difficulty of being Joel’s closest friend is not falling in love with him, but you still do. Those feelings are buried until you join him on a mission to trade supplies with Bill and Frank. With your life now hanging by a thread, Joel is determined to get you to safety, but the clock is ticking faster than he can run.

— White Lies by @poeticpascal | Joel would do anything for you. He does anything for you. And he makes sure you don't know a thing.

— Saying Thanks by @vivwritescrappythings | Joel is your grumpy patrol partner who doesn’t even talk to you in the streets of Jackson. But one night a man grabs your arm at the Tipsy Bison, and Joel’s decided he doesn’t like it.

— Soft & Sweet by @cavillscurls | You share your first kiss with the last man you ever expected: your older, grouchy, overly protective patrol partner, Joel Miller.

— Who We Are by @gracieheartspedro | Being stuck on the road with an older guy you've been crushing on for ages won't be so bad, right? wrong. because he's been pining after you, too. and one of you will have to give in eventually.

— Warm Me Up by @tightjeansjavi | While on patrol, you and Joel find yourselves caught in a treacherous snowstorm.

— Love In the Time Of Cordyceps by @sameheart-sameblood | When the world ends, you promise you'll never love again. Joel Miller makes that rule hard to stick to.

— Puppy Love by @absurdthirst | You always follow Joel Miller around, you've got his back. You're in love with him. Putting up with Tess's nickname of puppy dog, you don't realize that Joel feels for you until the end.

— Light The Flame by @yeollie-plz | Your mom moves the two of you back to Texas and attempts to reignite an old flame. What will happen when she learns his candle now burns for you?

— Best I Ever Had by @endlessthxxghts | Someone tries to hit on you on your night out with Joel, insulting your man in the process, and oh you don't like that. You blow off some steam in more ways than one.

— Make A Move On Me by @freelancearsonist | You've been teasing Joel every day since he started remodelling construction on your house. He finally works up the courage to do something about it - but not in the way you expect him to.

— Fire Walk by @motherofagony | A chance encounter at a motel has you crossing paths with a stranger in a blue t-shirt.

— Cry Baby by @psychedelic-ink | bodies have been dropping left and right in the most brutal ways in Jackson. As the relentless wave of deaths continues, your mind becomes increasingly restless. however, you find a sense of comfort and solace in the presence of Joel. who might be hiding secrets of his own.

[birdofmay]

Most people really don't seem to know what this mysterious "residential care" means when it comes to disabilities.

"This person is severely disabled, they have to live in residential care."

Do you know what happens when a severely disabled person with high support needs who isn't aware of dangers and needs constant supervision applies for residential care?

They get turned down or kicked out a couple of days later.

This happens regularly, btw. Kids grow up and parents think "Oh, residential care sounds good", and then suddenly every institution, etc. goes "Sorry, we don't specialise in that, sorry, your child is too aggressive, sorry, your child can't stick to our sleep schedule, sorry, your child is too noise sensitive, sorry, your child HAS to participate in our weekly activities even though their disability makes it impossible for them to do so, sorry..."

People who can live in residential care aren't your "the worst of the worst" example. There is such a thing as "too disabled for residential care" and it's more common than you'd think! ☝🏼

"But what happens when someone is too disabled for residential care and their family can't take care of them? Surely everyone eventually ends up somewhere!"

They get passed around from institution to institution, but everyone eventually goes "Sorry, we can't keep them here", and it won't stop. Until, maybe, one day they're lucky and a fixed team of carers "adopts" them and tries to create some kind of assisted living from scratch.

(Edit: Some people in the notes mention that many end up in prison or psych wards. That's included in what I mean with "institution" ☝🏼. But keep in mind that most severely disabled people with very high support needs simply die when their needs aren't met, so they either are passed around from institution to institution until someone builds something from scratch... or they simply die.)

Nobody talks about it, which is why it's always a big shock for parents who found a really good residential care place for their soon-to-be adult child and their child looks forward to moving out, and suddenly this wonderful residential care company turns their child down because it's too disabled. And then the next one. And the next.

So no, residential care isn't for "those with the most profound disabilities" - people with the most profound disabilities can't be in residential care at all.

[valentinedagger]

house md 2020 COVID season. princeton plainsborough is the epicenter for covid research for some contrived reason. cameron is extremely pro-mask. foreman isn't anti-mask but he thinks it's personal choice to wear one or not and if you decide not to wear one you deserve to die off anyway because something something natural selection. chase is just trying to clown around and start shit in the workplace. wilson has a very special episode dedicated to convincing his immunocompromised cancer patient to mask. early on in the season house gets hyperfixated on trying to find a cure for covid and starts to forgo his vicodin in favor of the best puzzle he's ever encountered. everyone tells him he can't do it and it can't be cured and to wait for the CDC to distribute vaccines but he keeps going with an insane obsession. towards the end of the season cameron gets irrationally attached to a covid patient who's on a ventilator. she tries to join house on his obsessive journey but he spurns her because she's doing it for sentimental reasons. her patient dies and gives her covid. in the season finale house is trying to save cameron but can't find the cure and starts to believe it's impossible. he enters her room without PPE in some insane patented gregory move to try to cure her that doesnt work. he catches covid as a result of this and passes out with a fever of 104. he hallucinates arguments with his coworkers and friends in an extended dream sequence that eventually culminates in the realization that he's been subconsciously blocking out the answer to curing covid this entire time because he doesn't want to give up the best puzzle he's ever encountered and go back to vicodin. he struggles with this moral conundrum and eventually decides to cure covid and also cameron. the season ends on a shot of him popping a handful of vicodin dramatically. covid is never brought up again.

[haven-gum-rockrose]

bruh this weekend has been wild - not substantially: nothing bad has happened - just mentally: brain has not been great.

[dante-mightdie]

This made me sick to think about so maybe you would like it. Sorry this is so long 😭 but my brain worms were at it.

Three months later, Pup reader eventually going into a catatonic state. You stop eating so the handlers eventually put you on an IV and a feeding tube, but when you stop moving, they worry your muscles may start to atrophy. You have already developed sores but still don’t move.

One of the handlers goes rogue and calls John. His number was still on your paperwork when he surrendered you. The handler asks John to reconsider without mentioning what’s happening. He stands firm and says no, just assuming that someone must have returned you back to the shelter. He knows you’ll find a home eventually, but he had enough to deal with at home.

Meanwhile, Simon, Johnny and Kyle are pissed. The new pup John had got was a handful to say the least. Three months of correcting the pup’s behavior over and over again. She was too rambunctious. Not docile like you and didn’t respect boundaries. Where your playful nips at Johnny’s arm would barely register, hers were sharp and painful. She constantly got in whatever bed she pleased and took whatever resources she wanted.

Kyle just relented he became so annoyed, only showing his teeth in warning. Johnny would straight up shoulder check the pup.

Things eventually come to a head when Simon straight up attacks her. He was having as PTSD episode and pup thought it would be a good time to jump on him while he was asleep.

The attack luckily didn’t injure her too badly, but after that she wasn’t submissive, she was aggressive. To everyone. The other pups and even John. Snapping and baring her teeth. It wasn’t until her teeth made contact with John did he realize something needed to be done.

So he called Laswell. She knew the pup needed a female presence and her and her wife were happy to help.

A month passes since the phone call from the shelter. The boys were even more tense than before the other pup left. None of them wanting to be around each other more than necessary. John knew what he had to do.

So he called the shelter, asking had you been adopted yet. An awkward pause before the volunteer on the other line says they need to get their supervisor.

Supervisor informs John that you stopped eating and moving. Because the volunteers could only do so much, they had to put you into a facility that could better help with the long term care you would need.

John is able to pull some strings and get in contact with the facility.

Option 1:

When John goes to the facility, you don’t snap out of it. You don’t believe he’s really came for you. Not when he puts the collar back on your neck or has practically carry you to the car. Not even when the boys surround you, sniffing and pawing.

John has to hand feed you. Even then the boys take over with that, now hating John for what he did to you.

You eventually “come back”, but the fear is always there. You don’t go outside without the boys and you’re always afraid to be alone with John. Forget car rides. The last time you were due for a check up, even having everyone in it did nothing to help your panic attack. Pleading not to go back to the shelter. That you’ll be good. John can hear your soft cries at night before one of the boys eventually crawls in your bed, promising to not let you go again.

Option 2 (I’ll make this short I promise)

The facility didn’t intervene when it came to you wanting to die. That was your choice and the resources couldn’t be wasted. So when John receives a very sincere apology from the facility coordinator that you had chosen to be on the euthanasia list, he is in consolable.

However, a vet tech sees how adorable you are and just can’t let that happen, so they call their cousin.

Zeus was looking for a new pup for oversized hounds to play with.

König all too happy to have a new playmate. He and Nikto often fought over who you would be sharing a bed with before finally just laying down with your in yours. In the middle of the night, Horangi would pull you out of the pile and take you to his own bed.

You eventually started to come back to life. The boys weren’t the same as your other ones, but it was still nice.

John tells the boys you had already been adopted, too afraid of what the truth would do to their dynamic. He has to forever live with the guilt of thinking you had died.

let’s go with option one

c/w: mentions of abandonment trauma, hybrids

there was a period of time where john lost hope that you would get better even after he bought you home. it certainly wasn’t going to stop him and the boys trying, however. john knew how much he’d fucked up when he heard the boys sad whines and yowls when he walked through the door with you

johnny instantly got to work making a nest in the space under the stairs. a cozy dim light hanging above a big pile of duvets and blankets, soft pillows that smell like them. john would give you space as the boys trap you in their arms, scenting over you and nuzzling into your skin until you smell like them again :(

they hold you when you cry, placing kisses to your shoulders and cheeks and the top of your head whisky you let all your sadness out. sometimes, you push them away. wailing that you don’t want them near you right now but eventually you let them back in to cuddle you. you feel weak but you’ve been so lonely and you’ve missed them terribly despite what they did

thinking about how the grief you had been dealing with had thrown your body right off track. not having a natural heat cycle until a good few months after returning home. you didn’t allow any of them in the room with you during that cycle, despite how kyle and johnny whined at the door, begging you to let them come in and take care of you

their whining didn’t last long when simon comes over and snaps at them, telling them to leave you alone whilst the sulk off with flattened ears

it had taken a while for you to warm up to john again. he understood completely. he had completely shattered your heart and trust in them. he wouldn’t put your collar back on until you were completely okay with it. he wanted you to ask. wants it to be something that you want

he begins to think you’ll never forgive him until one night you shuffled into his room nervously, fiddling with your hands in front of you, “can I sleep in here?”

he’d hoped you would at least sleep in his bed with him. let him snuggle you under his big plush duvet and scratch your scalp until you fall asleep but he understands. it’s baby steps. at least now you’ll actually be in the same room as him one on one

[evilminji]

I woke up to this thought? And it made me smile~

Wrong way Au?

It's EASY to fly from point A to point B. Linear. Just on long, no traffic, straight line. And if you get lost? Go higher! There you are! But "normal" reporter families with Totally Human genetics can't exactly DO that.

Plus? It's part of the whole Americana thing!

Childhood.

Gotta do a road trip, see weird road side attractions, camp and hike a bit. Go somewhere other then the farm for once. Soooo~ everyone into the car! Yes, you too, Kon.

And don't look at Lois, kids. She hates this idea as much as you do. But it's for Dad. So we're doing it. Get in the car. Some times loving people means "suuuure, honey! I TOTALLY want to sit in an uncomfortable car for hours for your nostalgic dream trip!", so get comfy.

Problem is? He either can't navigate for SHIT (unlikely) or this patch of nowhere? Possibly haunted? Cursed? Fuckey. Very, very Reality Fuckey. Far more likely, honestly. They THINK that was the a same barn the passed four times now... but it looks... wrong? Off. Worse each time, in ways that are hard to place.

Where the FUCK are they Clark?

According to the GPS?

Here.

(You are Here. You are Here. You are He-)

Oh, THAT'S not cursed! She fucking KNEW they shouldn't have left the city. FUCK the countryside. She likes ONE(1) small town and it's where her in-laws live, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! If they die, she swear to GOD-!!!

Then Jon points to colorful tents up the road. A mix of the kind you buy at big box stores and Ren fairs. Balloons. What the fuuuuuck? "Fenton Family Reunion"?

Was... was that THERE a second ago?

Clark's very deliberate Not Too Tight Grip Of Panic ™ on the steering wheel? Confirms that No Honey, it was not. Kon points out? That eventually they ARE going to run out of gas. They should stop.

Words can not express how little the Kents want to do that. They have KIDS to protect. This feels "magical fuckery" to them. AKA? One of the few things Kryptonians very much CAN NOT handle.

And luck getting ahold of anybody back there kids? No? Emergency lines too?

Fuck ™.

Okay! Guess we're stopping! Stay behind us.

They park.

There are campers and trucks, modified tanks and trackers. A few horses grazing side by side with an honest to God moose and two mules. A Llama. Someone's anchored a dirigible. A boat with spindly chicken footed legs, like it's the house of baba yaga's sea faring love child. The name Fenton is slapped on everything. Peoples faces.

Grinning.

Everything grinning.

As they get closer, the racket gets louder. Crashes and smashes. Roaring laughter. Explosions. The screech of metal failing and the whine of energy overclocked. Fatty meats cooking. Spices from around the globe. Radios and instruments, at least one of which violently cuts off in a smash.

They pass an almost violently balloon choked arch, into chaos.

Grinning giants, everywhere. Every color, every shade, every race imaginable. The spectrum of humanity laid bare. Made large. Grinning, Grinning, Grinning. Crashing into each other, against, through. Smashing and laughing, as everything breaks around them. Titans.

Darting underfoot, children. Fast with wild eyes. Mad grins and fae laughs. Wives and husband's, partners and friends, dancing in and out of the chaos. Just as destructive. Perhaps MORE so. Grabbing meals from grills, laughing and joking, tossing children into the fray, all as they effortless hold conversations of their own.

Like a Dionysian revelry, all madness and joy.

Then they are noticed.

"Cousin!"

One of them booms. Locking eyes on Clark. He doesn't even have time to move, doesn't realize until too late, in all the chaos, that the man meant HIM. A running start is followed by a brutal, full body, flying tackle. Clark is taken skidding to the ground and into a headlock.

"LETS WRASTLE~!!"

He watches in helpless confusion as, with high-pitched war cries, a pair of twins jump Jon. They are wearing war paint. Krypto already taken out by a glowing green dog, now confused and wrestling off to the side. Lois has whipped out her tazer. Kon between her and who ever comes next.

By the time he wrestle his "cousin" off of him, he's lost sight of them both.

Dives into the fray.

Magic be damned, that's his FAMILY!

It... It's the most fun he's had in years. That any of them have. He finds Lois in a breathless, screaming, debate/fistfight with her new best friend. Samantha "call me Sam Or ELSE" Manson-Fouley-Fenton. Kon is in the mud pit, wrestling other teenagers in some sort of battle Royale. Jon? Has become king of the ferals. The other parents are impressed.

His years of Damian wrangling finally paying dividends, apparently.

By the time Clark FINALLY tracks down Krypto, there is already crowd and it apparently six heel turns deep into the WWE Grand Saga of the Fenton Pet's League. Krypto, what the hell. No. No you may NOT "form one last alliance against my sworn wrestling enemy, to prove the true meaning of Christmas!" It's the middle of SUMMER!

Clark... Clark is so tired.

He's also a Fenton now. Yes, he KNOWS that's not how anything works. YOU try explaining that! He's on the call list and card list. It's like the Addams family out here! They just... just DECIDED him and his family were related! They've apparently DONE THAT BEFORE!

They leave with directions, fudge, more leftovers then anyone could possibly eat, and a massive new extended family. One that honestly? The Justice League SHOULD have known about. The sheer destructive chaos they get up too? EVERYONE should be aware of them. It seems impossible NOT to be! But? According to THEM, it's a "family thing". Reality tries to ignore them for "it's own sanity"? What???

So yeah.... no more road trips.

How was YOUR weekend?

@hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @lolottes @babbling-babull @dcxdpdabbles @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation

[envy-of-the-apple]

Earth Kills Moon

Dark!Gojo Satoru x reader

Word count: 6.3k

Part two of Sun Eats Moon

Synopsis: A retelling of Sun Eats Moon in Suguru's perspective

(Warnings: forced relationships, bullying, non con touching, non con kissing)

Suguru liked you. 

It wasn't even a crush. A passing interest, maybe. You were pretty. You had a nice smile. Though, he'd never directly spoken to you, he could tell that you were kind. Not in the artificial cherry most people were. Natural, like honey, never spoiling. You share the same homeroom as Satoru, and he'd always tended to be observant, unlike his friend. One thing he liked about you was how observant you were. You were constantly looking out for your friends, mere acquaintances, and everyone in your vicinity. Often, Suguru wondered if being a people-pleaser was natural or from a fear of not fitting in. 

Suguru is observant. He notices the lingering gaze Satoru gives you when you walk away, hurrying to catch up with the rest of your friends. Satoru then turns back to the carton of chocolate milk you'd left him.

"Cute," Satoru says after a minute. It's more of an afterthought than anything. He pops the carton open. Suguru hears the fabric tear. He hums in agreement. The topic switches to something else, a hot celebrity maybe? Suguru can't remember. That day had been so insignificant to him. It hadn’t mattered to him for Suguru to remember anything further.

A few days later, Suguru noticed Satoru was spending a lot more time with you. 

It was hard not to notice, actually. His friend attached himself to you like he'd die if he couldn’t. Satoru went everywhere with you now. Suguru caught him walking you from school, offering you rides in his new car, following you to the lunch hall. And if he couldn’t go to where you were, he’d drag you back to him. Watching you and Satoru was a bit like watching two magnets. North pole and South pole. So different, yet constantly finding the other. 

“Tryna’ run away from me, now?” Satoru asks, a teasing lilt in his voice as he watches you fiddle with your bag.

You laugh, continuing to fish out your lunch box. “Just grabbing lunch.” 

“Eat with us,” Satoru insists, “we found a great spot up at the rooftop.” 

You meet Suguru’s gaze just then. He’d been silently lounging on a nearby desk, observing the two of you. He gives a smile. You return it. Polite. He wonders if your mother taught you to smile like that.

“I thought students weren’t allowed up there?” You ask Satoru. 

The boy rolls his eyes. “So, who cares? It’ll be fun.” 

You pause, right then. The tiniest of hesitation. Suguru wonders if you’re noticing just how different you and Satoru were. You, the people pleaser, meek, always more than willing to bend towards authority. Satoru was rougher, more resilient, uncaring of signs and rules. The gap between the two of you is astronomical. Could you feel it as well?

Whatever you’re thinking, it’s gone in a moment. You rise, giving Satoru another laugh. To Suguru, it sounds pretty. 

“Well, have fun for me. Besides, I can’t ditch my friends. They’re waiting for me.” 

With that, you give both him and Satoru a tiny wave, before disappearing out of the classroom. Suguru waves back. Satoru doesn’t. Instead, he keeps his eyes on your back until he can’t see you anymore. 

“Got ditched again, hm?” Suguru teases. Satoru only groans, tossing his head back as he leans dangerously on the chair.

“Always leavin’ me for ‘em, too,” he complains, “so fuckin’ annoyin’.”

Suguru can only smile, getting up to follow his friend out the door. He can barely count how many times he’d seen this before, each with a different person. It starts the same. Satoru will cling onto you for a couple more days, and then ask you out. When you say yes, he’d date you for a few weeks before eventually getting bored and dumping you. 

It’s a cruel cycle, something that’s just an inevitability with Gojo Satoru. The boy can’t stay in one place, he’s constantly moving around, never one to stop. For Satoru, Suguru was the most permanent thing in his life. Which made sense, they were pretty similar in terms of ideals. 

A cruel cycle, and Suguru feels a tiny bit of sympathy for you. You were sweet, unlike the type Satoru typically went for. Honey. Natural. Truthfully, Suguru was a little disappointed as well. The type of disappointment he’d feel when someone took the last crab stick before he could. A fleeting feeling, one that ultimately wouldn’t matter. 

◉

From the day they first met, Suguru knew one thing: Gojo Satoru has never been told no before. 

It made sense. He was the only child to one of the most powerful families in the country. Spoiled from day one, some could say. Satoru grew up knowing nothing but wealth and prosperity. They met when they were both still in elementary school, still with high-pitched voices and large eyes. Suguru’s family was fairly affluent as well. Now that Suguru thinks back, perhaps their meeting had been orchestrated by meddling parents in order to form more connected. It didn’t matter, either way. It had benefitted all three parties, after all.

Yes, Suguru knew from the moment Satoru pointed at him and declared him his ‘best friend’, that Satoru had never been told no before. 

Satoru was the Sun. The universe revolved around him, catered to him. Suguru supposed he wasn't much better considering he too spoiled his best friend in that sense. They were different. They'd been born different, coming from families who cherish them with wealth and power. Suguru supposes it was natural for them to be so intertwined. Like calls for like. 

Suguru isn’t aware of the exact details, but he knows you rejected Satoru. 

The boy doesn’t have to tell him. His friend is uncharacteristically quiet during that weekend. He has no interest in the arcade, or the next basketball tournament his team is going to compete in. Satoru just sits on top of Suguru’s bed, casually sucking on a carton of chocolate milk. Suguru glanced down at the abandoned PlayStation remote. He’d lost yet another game against his dark-haired friend with no complaints. Satoru didn’t even play

You’d really done a number on him, Suguru thinks to himself. Suguru would assume it’s heartbreak, but he knows his friend better than that. Something burns in his chest, but he’s pushing it away before he can figure out why. Nipping it in the bud. It was a cruel thought. A bad one. He should ignore it.

Well, it’s done. It doesn’t matter anyway. Satoru would eventually get over it. He’s not known to sulk. 

He’s not there to see what Satoru tells them, but he’s there to see the effects. 

It starts out small. Or perhaps just not noticeable enough. Gojo Satoru has always attracted attention, whether it was satisfactory or not. Lackeys, Satoru often calls them because they're too far beneath him to even be called equals.

Suguru notices their sudden interest in you before even you can. A harsh word here and there. Giggling at the word 'easy'. You peacefully trek on, not noticing the abuse until it turns physical. That starts at the end of Monday. 

By Tuesday, they're already shoving you down each chance they get. You get surprised when it happens the first time, then the second, then the third. You have soft skin, plushy, Suguru could tell. He wondered if it was getting marked now. He wonders if you go home, peeling of your uniform, staring at the bruises of hands on your skin because you’re so fragile.

(They never go too far, not enough to completely injure. Suguru knows this because one time, one of the idiots had pushed you too hard. You’d stumbled, nearly hitting the back of your head with a metal locker. Satoru had seen. Suguru doesn’t know what Satoru did, but that particular one was gone the next time and the rest got the memo to scare, not injure.)

Satoru never takes part in this, but he keeps an eye on you sometimes. Tuesday evening comes and they both silently watch you through a window. You move through an empty hall, before they arrive again, slapping your binders out of your hands, chortling with each other. They're too far away to hear, but Suguru could bet it would sound like nails scraping against a chalkboard. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Suguru watches his best friend. Satoru looks impassive, face blank as he stares down at your figure. Akin to a child watching ants burning through a magnifying glass, instilled with that innate desire to see them explode into ash. 

When the lackeys leave, you bend down on the floor, collecting your stuff. Your hair covers your eyes, so he can't see your expression, but he can see your shoulders tremble. Were you-

A corral of people run to you. They lean down, picking up the stuff you had missed. You look up, your eyes are shiny but you're laughing when they say something. You wipe at your eyes, standing up as they lead you out of the hallway. Suguru had seen them hanging out with you before. They all seemed like they supported each other, supported you. 

Suguru feels his frown deepen, conflicted. He doesn’t like it.

"It's not nice to pick on the weak, Satoru," he quietly says. 

Satoru's eyes trail your figure out the door. He gives a small hum.

By Wednesday, your friends disappear from your side. 

The abuse is getting worse, noticeable to the point where the rest of the student body is heavily avoiding you. Teachers won't raise a finger at what's happening. As much as they like to preach about their 'zero tolerance for bullying', Suguru knows they'll willingly turn a blind eye when matters involve Gojo Satoru. No teacher wants to deal with the wrath the Gojo family is more than willing to unlease for the sake of their heir.

Yet, you aren't getting it. You don't break, don't bend. He can feel the humiliation roll off of you in waves, yet you don't react. Which was strange because he knew your archetype. A people-pleaser, constantly bending over backward for other's sake. You want nothing more than to become part of the crowd again, completely invisible. You’re community-oriented. You thrive off of companionship. This ostracization must be killing you. Suguru doesn't get it until he spots your face, just once, narrowed eyes, anger. 

Pride. He'd forgotten other people had that too. Though, Suguru admires it, a part of him knows it shouldn’t last.

Suguru thinks he does it because he pities you. You're a little naive. Suguru has your thought process figured out. You think if you take the torment long enough, Satoru would eventually just forget about you all together. Once he's done with you, you'd focus on picking up the pieces that used to be your life. It's not a bad plan, if you weren't dealing with Gojo Satoru. 

The boy is a hurricane. Fast, unrelenting, unforgiving. Satoru won't stop. He won't stop until you're ruined and broken. Turned into a mere asteroid of what you once were. 

So, Suguru decides to give you a push in the right direction. 

The students have already created a wide circle for you by the time he steps in, bending down, picking up the stuff you had dropped. You're silent until he hands you his pieces. He doesn't bother responding to your timid thanks. 

"Give in," he tells you, watching the way your eyes widen as you look up at him.

You're weak. Physically, emotionally. He could easily pick you up with one hand, crush your body with his fist. Satoru could eviscerate your body from existence. You don't stand a chance with him. With either of them. 

His advice to you is good. Reasonable. And yet, he sees the face you make, the way you slowly get up. You won’t listen. That same burning feeling in his chest starts. It's gotten more painful. 

You don't listen to him until you lose nearly everything. Just as he warned you. Friday comes. You become Satoru's. And it's a little too late for everything. 

◉

Suguru doesn't think you ever learn that Satoru loves messing with you. 

Or, perhaps you do, but you can't help it. You're too honest, too open. He often wonders if that's how you were raised. To be honest, open, vulnerable. Your parents must have filled your thoughts with delusions, coddling you with words of cheap motivation. The world is your oyster. You just had to reach out and take it.

Maybe now you're finally realizing, sitting on Satoru's lap, that all men aren't created equal. 

Clearly, you weren't happy about it. Yet, you aren't complaining, sitting there pliantly legs firmly crossed, hands curled into tiny fists, staring rigidly on the floor. The first few times Satoru had done this in public, you were always biting your lip, tears threatening to fall. Now, Suguru thinks you just dissociate, coming back when Satoru laughs at something, jostling you in his arms. 

It's a bit like watching a helpless bird on the ground, twitching and spasming after it had just collided with a glass window. Pitiful, but there was nothing that could be done. It's the inevitability of it all that makes him pity you more than anything else, really.

Every so often, your eyes would catch his. It's a quick glance, as though you were wondering if he was watching. He can barely catch it, but Suguru is observant. Much like you. It's meaningless, and your gaze returns to the floor. Your fists tighten. 

Granting you mercy, Suguru stops looking at you during those times. 

He's not sure how Satoru sees you. Perhaps, you're akin to a dog for him. Though, that might not be very good for you. Satoru hadn't been very good with animals when he was younger. Satoru had always been rough with any pets he came into contact with, pushing and tugging. Suguru doubted that had changed. 

Satoru's is your official title. It isn't a relationship. It's an ownership. Unequal from the start. The one who holds the leash in the end, will always be Satoru. 

It took a while for you to fully learn that. 

Suguru didn't mean to catch the two of you. Looking back, it was probably because Satoru couldn't care less if someone was watching. Maybe Satoru was being obvious on purpose. It was a little while after school had officially ended. Suguru knew your usual routine would place you right at the library, scrolling through books. Satoru would most likely be there too, pestering you about this and that. It's the scene Suguru prepares himself to walk into.

Instead, you're wedged in between the white-haired boy and the wall, there's no space for you to do anything but sink. You're already crying (when was the last time you smiled?), trying to pull away but Satoru isn't letting you. He's gripping you by the chin, forcing eye contact. His sunglasses are off, tucked on his collar. 

Suguru's close enough to hear. You're begging. Apology after apology. It's barely a whisper, but they're spilling out of you like a prayer. He can't discern the context, but he knows enough. 

You made Satoru angry. 

He's still smiling, but it isn't sincere. Almost bordering on mania as he tightens his grip on you, forcing you further into the wall. Suguru doesn't think Satoru has ever hit you before, but now he's wondering if quick violence was preferable to this. 

"Don't be like that," Satoru chides as another squeak leaves your lips, "Where was that smile you were givin' him, hm? C'mon, pretty girl. You were wearin' it just a second ago." 

"It-it wasn't like that, I swear," you continue to plead, still not realizing that it's too late, "he was giving me his notes. Please-please Satoru-" 

"Wrong answer," he cuts you off, you flinch at his harshness but Suguru decides Satoru's being nice to you. He's been known to do worse, "we've been over this before, haven't we? Or did your stupid brain forget?" 

You're choking down another hiccup. It takes a minute for you to calm down enough to speak clearly. Ever impatient, Satoru's hand digs into your shoulder. 

"I'm sorry, Satoru," you say, "it won't happen again." 

He tilts his head, waiting. You wilt under his gaze. 

"I'm sorry...’Toru." 

Satoru gives a satisfied hum, pulling back and Suguru can practically see your lungs sag with relief. His mania is gone, replaced by something much more lighthearted and carefree. Suguru'd seen it before, but it was certainly something watching Satoru go from one high to the next. Even to Suguru, it's terrifying to witness. 

Suguru decides to make himself known right then. He comes out of the shadows, acting as though he'd just arrived. His friend lazily gives him a wave, curling an arm around your waist. You try to scrub away your tears with your forearms, unaware of how much Suguru had seen. Another mercy Suguru grants you. He doesn't acknowledge it. 

The three of you sit in the library for half an hour until you're done pretending that you're studying. When Satoru walks you home, Suguru follows. He notes that you barely hesitate to give Satoru a chaste kiss on the lips, and he wonders how often his friend has demanded one from you for you to be so casual about it. 

He thinks he gets it when he and Satoru are walking on the street without you. To Satoru, you aren't a dog. You aren't a pet, something that he keeps to see bark.

No, you are just Satoru's. 

◉

Towards the end of the year, Suguru realizes that Satoru loves you. 

He's nicer to you, now. Suguru doesn't think you've realized how softer Satoru's gotten, but the change is there. He spots less marks on you now. The biggest evidence he has is that stolen moment of you and Satoru. You'd accidentally fallen asleep during lunch break, dozing off on your desk. Satoru was right next to you, gently pushing your hair out of your face. Satoru loves you. 

You've changed too. Adapted, he should say. You cry less, now. Each time he sees you, you look more and more put together. As though, you're done mourning. The final stage of grief. Acceptance.

Despite how much nicer Satoru is to you, he's still just as clingy. Suguru notices that even now, none of your former friends speak to you. No one at school does. It's an unspoken rule to not mess with Satoru's things. 

Suguru can still remember the last guy who hadn't gotten the memo. A new student. Freshly transferred. Suguru had heard the conversation. The guy was hardly interested in you. It was nothing more than small talk. The pat on your shoulder had been thoughtless at least, friendly at most. 

Satoru beat him until the boy was bloody and had a broken nose. A week later, he'd transferred again. 

You're off limits. To everyone but Suguru. 

The Earth is the only planet capable of sustaining life within this cold solar system. It's close enough to the sun to feel the warmth, yet far enough so it doesn't burn. It's strong, too. A powerful magnetic forcefield, capable of shutting down the sun's cosmic radiation. Thus, the Earth spins happily around the Sun, surrounded by a sea of dead planets. 

So, sometimes when Satoru can't walk you home. Suguru does. 

It was just the beginning of spring. The school year was starting to end. The school itself was starting to slow down. Teachers were getting less and less strict, less work was given out. It didn't matter. Colleges had already been picked. They were all close to the end. 

You don't say much when the two of you are alone. Suguru understands. It's hard to say much of anything when you're crushed by the weight of Gojo Satoru. But Suguru could have sworn he'd seen a flicker of relief when he came to pick you up and not his friend. You're clearly happier when it's him. Suguru decides he likes how that feels. It's a quick feeling of superiority. Something that quickly disappears when your eyes flick down. 

He knows where your house is, but he lets you take the lead anyway. Suguru figures it's the least he can do, give you that sense of control when nothing you do ever really does anymore. 

You and him have forged a shaky companionship. He's not sure what he is to you entirely, but you seem reliant on him in some way. it’s his fault, he thinks. He wonders if it has to do with the contraception he'd given you. He can still remember the trembling hands as you took it from him, curling the packet into your grip. That day he went home and his fingers felt strangely itchy. 

Does the Earth ever wonder if it can turn the Sun?

When he asks you a question, you answer. At least you aren't mute, though Suguru doesn't think he'd blame you if you ignored him. Your voice is stilted, with enough words to answer the question, but still not enough to fully sate him. 

And then, you break. 

Just a bit. 

A tiny piece of you shatters, and you show yourself to him. 

He'd been talking about something insignificant, college, his plans. Just ramblings. Somehow, Satoru comes into the conversation and he's talking about the area of his friend's college campus, how Satoru mentioned that he's looking for apartments for the two of you to stay in. And then, you're uncharacteristically scoffing. 

"Right," you say, head faced down on the sidewalk as you kick a rock, "because I'm following him there." 

Suguru can't help but place the sarcasm in your voice. The bitterness. He's heard it before, but it's a fascinating thing hearing it come from you. And then Suguru realizes that you accidentally gave something away. 

You were leaving. 

Somehow, it never crossed Suguru's mind that you were still rebelling, even now. And yet, he can't shake off the heat in your voice, your words. 

You seem to realize this too, freezing. 

He lets you falter for a few more moments before giving you a reprieve. 

"Satoru's idealistic like that," he let out. 

Your shoulders lower, and for the sake of both you and him, he doesn't press any further. 

He doesn't let himself let it go, even when he drops you home, arriving to his own house. Always cold. The mansion's lights are always off. No one's ever home. And Satoru's out of town. 

It's better this way, Suguru thinks as he lies in bed, staring up at the ceiling. No distractions, he can think better, as he replays your words over and over again. You were leaving. You were leaving. You were leaving Satoru. 

The night passes. When Satoru comes back to town, he's joyful as always, an arm slung around your shoulders. Suguru watches the way he coos at you, saying how much he missed you. You take his affections the way you always do, with a strained smile and wavering eyes. 

You glance at Suguru. Suguru stares right back. 

For a moment, Suguru thinks he understands why people are so enthralled with solar eclipses. The moon is seen as an underdog in most instances. It must be thrilling when a weak satellite can cover the sun's rays. Even for just a little bit. 

Suguru doesn't tell Satoru. He pushes the burning in his chest, ignoring the itchiness in his fingers. Things are better this way, right? After all, the two of you come from completely different worlds. It's nonsensical to think otherwise. 

Two weeks before graduation, you disappear without a trace. 

And Satoru breaks. 

It's a slow dissent. It comes in stages. The boy is angry at first, searching for you at school, when he can't find you there he loses his facade and demands where you are from your parents. They can't give him a clear answer because you're an adult now and you barely told them a thing before moving out. Suguru doesn’t think they knew what Satoru was to you. He doesn’t think they ever will.

The heat fades day by day, Week by week. Satoru starts to deflate the longer you aren't in his hold, his to mangle, and grab, and keep. He stops taking care of himself. His skin became paler, cracked lips, hollow cheeks. His eyes turn into this grayish blue that Suguru can't bring himself to look at for too long. He loses weight day by day. 

Suguru had never seen him react this way before. Satoru was always shining. He was the sun. Now, the center of the solar system was dying. He can feel himself dying with it. 

Satoru hadn't just loved you. Satoru had been obsessed with you. He breathed you in, inhaled your essence like oxygen. You'd been a part of him; a necessity. And then, you tore yourself away, leaving him bleeding on the concrete.

Guilt. Suguru feels it in his stomach, rising to his throat, threatening to stain his clothes. It's too late to say anything now, so he keeps it huddled deep inside of him. Suguru hopes it'll never come out. He helps the best he can, being there for his friend, his best friend. 

It takes a month for Satoru to start eating properly again. A few months later he starts regaining his usual physique. The gray in his eyes stays for a bit longer than Suguru likes. Suguru supposes he should take what he can get.

A year passes like that. The evidence of what you left behind fades, like bruises disappearing on skin. Suguru and Satoru become college students. Then, they graduate.

When Satoru joins the business, Suguru, his right-hand man, his second, his best friend, is right next to him. They’ve always worked well together, but that doesn’t change as they shift into adulthood. Despite how different Suguru and Satoru were, Suguru liked to think that their personalities were stagnant; unchanging even to the times.

What Satoru feels about you remains stagnant as well.

Suguru doesn’t think about you often, these days. Barely a few times a year, when he feels nostalgic enough to get out his old high school yearbook. He’d page through, spot your smiling portrait face. He’d find himself staring at you far longer than he liked too.

At first, Suguru thought Satoru was the same. Much like how one thinks about a lost toy they cherished when they were younger. The resentment would fade with time. Satoru didn’t speak about you for years.

Suguru hadn’t expected the girls, however.

He doesn’t notice the first one. He sees her, but he doesn’t internalize it. She’s hurriedly putting on her clothes after a clearly exciting night, so Suguru respectfully averts his gaze. He’s more focused on his exasperation at how Satoru had missed yet another meeting with the board. They would be less than pleased if they discovered Satoru didn’t show up because he was hungover.

The second time it happens, Suguru has a passing thought of how familiar the girl looked, despite being sure he’d never seen her in his life.

The third time it happens, Suguru realizes all the recent girls Satoru’s been bringing strike an uncanny resemblance towards you.

It’s not anything too obvious, but all of them would look a bit like you. Most would have your skin tone, your hair. One had your eyes, not the color, rather the shape of it. Satoru had kept her around the longest.

Suguru doesn’t say anything about it. Part of him wonders if Satoru is even doing it on purpose.

Suguru loves Satoru like he would his own brother, but his recent hobby was starting to get on his nerves a bit.

“So much work,” the man complains, “Why can’t we just send all this off to Ijichi?”

“He has his own work to complete,” Suguru reprimands, “the sooner you stop complaining, the sooner we can finish.”

Satoru rolls his eyes but moves to another page of meaningless paperwork; Something that would be scanned into their system and then tucked away into a random file cabinet. They currently sat in Satoru’s grand kitchen, lounging on the barstools after Suguru had pounded Satoru’s door in. Satoru had let him in with an irritated look, complaining that it was the weekend and he had ‘stuff’ to do.

“He’s my assistant,” Satoru retorts, “my work is his work.”

“The reason why we’re in this mess in the first place is because you kept pawning off your job to the poor man in the first place. You’ve given him wrinkles from just the stress of being in your vicinity.”

“That’s insulting,” Satoru counters, “my presence is nothing but calming.”

“You do the exact opposite, actually. A black hole that sucks the soul out of everyone who hangs around you.”

“You hang around me all the time and you don’t have wrinkles.”

Suguru smiles. “It’s because I don’t respect you enough to listen to anything you’re saying.”

Satoru’s about to respond, when another voice interrupts him. Alluring, feminine.

“Satoru,” she coos, “When are you getting back here?”

From his seat, Suguru has a clear view of Satoru’s bedroom. Only her head is peeked out, and Suguru notes her bare shoulders. Your eyes, and your lips this time. She’s tilting her head, mouth curved in a coy smile.

Of course. Suguru can only roll his eyes. There’s that same burning feeling in his chest. During the years, it hasn’t really gotten any better.

“Coming, coming,” Satoru calls back, “just a minute, babe.”

“Stuff to do, hm?” Suguru drawls with amusement. Satoru flips him off.

"Worry 'bout yourself," Satoru says, "when's the last time you got any, huh? Honestly, when's the last time you've taken a break? A vacation?"

"I can't," Suguru replies, "I'm always stuck babysitting you."

“I’ve been waiting for half an hour, ‘Toru." The woman interrupts. "Can’t you just do it later?”

Suguru hadn’t even noticed it. He brushed it off, barely hearing their conversation as he shuffled around the papers.

Satoru had.

He hums. Straightening his back.

“Yeah, I’ve changed my mind. You should head on home.”

At first, he thought Satoru was talking to him. Then, he hears the woman’s annoyed huff.

“Hold on, you’re kicking me out?” She asks.

“Yeah, sorry,” Satoru says, not sounding very apologetic, “I got a lotta’ stuff to do and you’re not gonna wanna stick around.”

His tone is light, but Suguru can’t help but place a sense of annoyance in them. The anger. His posture is stiff, almost like he’s primed for a fight.

‘Toru. She called him ‘Toru.

You used to call him ‘Toru.

“Seriously, I-”

“I hate repeating myself: Get the fuck out.”

There’s silence, and then Suguru can hear her mutter to herself as she shuffles inside the room. She comes out minutes later, not quite dressed, but presentable. She shoots Satoru a glare, to which he only waves off. The door shuts with a noticable thud.

“Back to work,” Satoru says, “do you feel hot? The AC has been acting up, lately.”

He carries on like that, back to normal, as though he wasn’t about to snap just a few minutes ago. Suguru follows suit, not aknowledging the outburst, much like he doesn’t aknowledge most things regarding you.

Later, Suguru laughs about the hypocrisy of it all. Satoru brings home physical reminders of you, but he refuses the remnants of you. The most intimate parts, he’d kept hidden away from his life, yet he still wishes to touch, to feel. He wonders how you’d feel if you knew that Gojo Satoru is wrapped around your finger, even now.

◉

Satoru had done something yet again. It's always something with Gojo Satoru. Suguru should have left him to deal with the legal team himself, but here he was, trailing beside the firm’s directors as the man droned on and on how well Mr.Gojo would be well taken care of how here our clients are family. He forces himself to push away that feeling in his chest, scorching his throat. He was getting sick of the constant blabbering. He’d glanced away for just a second.

And then he saw you.

You, not some remnant, not some picture, not someone similar. You. He knew it was you. A little older, a little taller. You’d switched the high school uniform for a blouse and a pencil skirt. Suguru stares. He’s tempted to say your name, seek you out, as though you’re old friends-

He reels himself back in.

You disappear through a frosted glass door, completely unaware of his gawking. You hadn’t seen him. Good. The firm’s director didn’t notice his pause, carrying on as though nothing happened. Suguru smiles and laughs at the horrible ice breakers, but he also steals a glance at the name of the door you went through.

Later, Suguru looks up Higuruma Hiromi. A well-established lawyer. Worked at the firm for nearly a decade.

You are his sole paralegal.

Law. He had never considered it for you. Now, he thinks it’s a little fitting. He can’t help it. He looks you up. You have no social media, most likely from a remnant fear, but he finds where you went to college, what your area of study was, where else you’d worked, your life. Questions he’d had for nearly a decade he finally has an answer.

Honestly, Suguru was a little mad it was all so easy.

He can’t see the entire scope of your life, but he knows you were happy after high school, away from Satoru. You seemed happy when he caught that glimpse of you. There was a slight smile on your face, you never did that with Satoru around.

Satoru’s a little pathetic, a thought he has to concede to. He’s still hung over you, while you clearly hadn’t thought of him in years.

Suguru stares at your picture a little more.

The burning feeling comes back again. Hotter, melting.

Oh.

Suguru is disgusted by you.

You, that bitch loitering in Satoru’s bedroom, that greedy firm director. Disgust, that sick feeling crawling down his stomach, seeping into his bones. He’s disgusted by the weak.

He’s even more disgusted when they think they can defeat the strong. Decieve them.

You always thought you were better than Satoru, better than Suguru, even from the beginning. Even when you rejected him. Even when Satoru’s goons were torturing you, you still thought you could get out of it somehow. Even when Satoru had his hand on your shoulder, claws sinking into your flesh, you were still looking for a way out. It was like watching a rat trapped in a cage, pathetically sniffing around for an exit.

The weak could never escape the whims of the strong. It was a truth of the world, something he’d always known and yet it’d take a decade for him to put the words together. The weak could never make a fool of the strong.

You are weak. A mere satellite floating along, before getting trapped in the Earth’s gravitational force. Suguru could crush you with one fist. Satoru could evisirate you to atoms.

Does the Earth ever wonder if it can turn the Sun?

“I’ve put together a legal team that will represent you.”

Suguru places the neat stack of documents onto Satoru’s desk. The white-haired man barely gives them a glance. Suguru knows Satoru won’t ever look at them, even when your name is hidden somewhere within the sheets, along with Higuruma’s. Suguru wonders how long it’d take for Satoru to figure it out. It’s a shame he won’t be there to see it unfold in real-time, but perhaps, once Satoru puts the pieces together, he’ll thank him.

Here, in the present, Satoru types away at his computer, barely paying attention to Suguru’s words.

“Oh, great,” Satoru says off handedly, “thanks, man.”

Suguru sighs.

“Uh, I love you?” Satoru tries again.

“Never repeat those words to me ever again,” Suguru responds, “I wish you’d be a bit more interested in this, considering it’s your fault the company is in this mess in the first place.”

Satoru gives a hushed hum of agreement. Suguru smiles.

“In other news: I won’t be here next week.”

That catches his best friend’s attention. Satoru gapes at him.

“You’re quitting?”

“No, idiot. I’m taking your advice. I’m taking a few weeks off. I already put it in the calendar that you never check so why did I even bother.”

“A vacation? You never take vacations, even when I beg you to,” Satoru squints at him, “What’s the occasion?”

Eventually, Satoru will figure it out. For now, Suguru wants to enjoy this.

“I worked hard this year. I should reward myself, shouldn’t I?” He reasons, “oh, and I have a surprise for you showing up in a week or so. Let me know what you think of it.”

“A gift? For me?” Satoru beams. “You really do love me.”

“Don’t push it.”

The Earth is the only planet capable of sustaining life within this cold solar system. It's close enough to the sun to feel the warmth, yet far enough so it doesn't burn. It's strong, too. A powerful magnetic forcefield, capable of shutting down the sun's cosmic radiation. Thus, the Earth spins happily around the Sun, surrounded by a sea of dead planets. 

If Satoru was the Sun, then Suguru supposed he would be the Earth. Close enough to receive the star's radiance, but with a strong enough magnetitic field to shield from solar winds. 

If Suguru was the Earth, then Suguru supposed you would be the Moon. A tiny cratered satellite he tugs along with him, forever in sight of the burning sun.