#except jack fairy isn’t here :(

[holy-loki]

publicity stills for velvet goldmine (1998)

[anemonepalustris]

so the new episode, huh? having read a few of the things people smarter than i have said about the episode brings me to an interesting thought: whenever the doctor isn’t there the companion is not there either, not in doctor who; having a whole episode from the exclusive pov of the companion, the doctor marking the beginning and the end of the episode, both moments being the same with minor changes.

the one episode that was doctor-lite that i kept thinking about was ‘Don’t Blink’. one of the more prominent, cult episodes not involving the main actors due to budget and scheduling reasons constraining it to what it was.

throughout the episode we get the pre-recorded, one-sided conversation from the doctor in the past arguing with one of the main characters in the present, the bumping of the doctor and martha into one of the people who will be taken by the angels and martha receiving the script written by one of the main characters for the aforementioned convo. martha is never on her own for long, and neither is the doctor; they’re in a sort of symbiosis, where one goes the other can be inferred.

73 yards is all about ruby getting constantly abandoned because of the thing that follows her at exactly 73 yards distance, with a lot of very clever piecing of details together, from 2049, to Mad Jack, the welsh, the fairy circle, all coming together to form a coherent narrative, even though there was none.

in the same way the doctor likes to sprinkle in facts from their various off-screen adventures, fifteen mentions the prime minister. the mad jack bit was all about the locals taking what ruby read and adding it to their fucking with her, wherein factor in the welsh and the fairy circle. all of these tidbits that are on their own isolated incidents get linked together, by ruby, who is our pov character for the episode with the doctor… gone.

the episode nudges the idea that the doctor is hiding out in the tardis, having ran from ruby in the same way we see happen later on in the episode, but we don’t necessarily get confirmation. the part that is most interesting to me is the tardis staying there, instead of it going away. it’s the ‘time and relative dimension in space’ box, so why not leave? sure, it’s symbolic, symbols are reserved for fairytales and fiction, doctor who admittedly is that, but without the knowledge of what happened to the doctor, the leap from ‘the tardis is locked, where is the doctor?’ to ‘of course the doctor abandoned me and changed the locks’ seems a bit extreme.

the doctor would not leave their tardis just getting eaten away at by moss there if they where inside, so where is the doctor? one user pointed out that ‘the lack of an intro’ seemed wrong, like the doctor simply got plucked out of the reality in which him and ruby where in wales and now 73 yards is almost… not an episode? of course it is, we all watched it, but without the doctor, with ruby aging and getting abandoned, with the clear supernatural element that never gets explained away in a very tenth era ‘but it was aliens all along!’; the switch to something other slowly seeping in until the whole thing is over. it’s all alright now, and then the intro comes in. except it’s the outro. we’re done. tune in next week for a fresh serving of— hey, what was that all about?

another user on here pointed out that there is a ‘bad dream logic’ about the episode, which is reminiscent of the concept of bad luck machinery and the language of knots in the ‘Church on Ruby Road’, except there is no doctor to have studied ruby and figured out what happens. ruby has to make it work.

the way the doctor is forcibly removed from the premises of wales, so the story can happen in the way it does, is so jarring: it’s doctor who, where’s the doctor? we don’t know. on my first watch, i slotted the tardis staying there into one of those ‘oh, the tardis doesn’t work this episode, so the main conflict can’t be solved in 0.2 seconds’ and waited for the doctor to come in and explain all that. to the audience surrogate. who’s stranded there, without answers, making up her own as she goes along from all of the things that seem relevant. kind of like fan theories, now that i think about it. no doctor, no tardis, unresolved conflict.

we know how this goes: locals help out, like in ‘The Fires of Pompeii’— no, wait a second, they’re really unhelpful. alright, then the parents/friends help out, like mickey in the ‘Aliens of London’, wherever and however they can; see! carol is about to confront the woman following ruby and— cold, hateful eyes look back at ruby from her mother’s face, forcing ruby out of her life. ah, UNIT, surely…well, fuck, we’re really in it now.

sure, ruby saves the world, becoming the doctor in a sort of clara oswald way, only to then… age. aging, in a show all about a virtually immortal alien running about, is daunting. seeing ruby next to the tardis, having lived an unremarkable enough life, a lonely life, changed so fully from who she was at the beginning of the episode, next to an aged tardis is horrible; in the way that death is horrible, with grief and longing as the coating of the feeling of something being wrong.

an episode that comes to mind in a world where the doctor dies is ‘Turn Left’, but it’s incomparable. we knew what happened, why it happened and who benefitted from all of it. here it’s just… it’s nothing like doctor who. all of these episodes i mentioned are cornerstones of the first RTD run of the show, when doctor who was at a peak, arguably the most recognisable era of the show: when all they taught us is turned on its head in such a manner, doctor who indeed feels wrong because all of our data tells us it is.

this season is making very deliberate, fourth-wall breaking jabs at the audience, and this is by far one of the most elaborate ones yet: ‘we know you know our tricks, but we’ve got more things in store’. it’s an episode that is packed full of subversion of expectations and is less sci-fi and more magic, barely doctor who, or rather a new kind.

[andtheyreonfire]

at the end of every tether

Ao3

WC: 3070

AN: hbd @sizediscount !!!! i got you a serial killer <3 for G/t July, Day 19: Out of reach.

~

Ren’s never actually seen what cognitive rulers do when he’s not fighting them.

He’d assume they’d despawn, like a boss they haven’t hit the cutscene trigger for yet. But Futaba points out their constant presence during every infiltration. They seem more like puppets, than anything. A mouthpiece regurgitating their owner’s fucked-up ideals. A chipped piece of grey matter that wandered around, aimlessly, until it decided to kick the Thieves’ ass.

It was a consideration, that they would just sit on their fancy little throne like the ruler they were, seemingly alone in their corrupted little corner of heart. Ren didn’t think he’d be right.

Ren also didn’t think he’d confirm this by being locked in a massive, golden birdcage, eye-level with the absolutely oversized ruler of Akechi Goro’s palace.

Akechi’s palace seemed a maze of sharp corners and dead ends. Ren’s third eye was only good for uncovering the non-lethal, annoying traps, and Futaba’s Persona was only good for leading them around in a circle. It was a long, tense few hours until they found their way into something that seemed like a next room—

Before it was revealed that their hours of struggle took place in a literal rat maze, located near in the middle of an absolutely titanic castle. And, while the majority of Shadows were normal-sized and scurrying around like rats, there was one, massive problem they could hear stomping in the background.

Ren didn’t realize Akechi’s cognition was stalking them until it was too late. Until his current party was downed, him included. Until genuine fear was singing through his veins, watching the cognition shrug off his remaining teammates like mosquitoes. Until his mouth was already forming the words, wait, please, don’t hurt them, take me instead—

“I’m not one for consolation prizes,” Akechi’s cognition had boomed, Ren craning his neck up, up, up, just to see past his crouched knees. Before he could even flinch, a massive, gloved hand filled his vision, Akechi’s warped face regarding him with a possession he’s never seen on him in his life. “Though, who am I to deny ownership of a new toy?”

Really, Ren should’ve known something was up the second they confirmed Akechi’s third keyword as beanstalk.

And now, Ren sits, cross-legged and cross-armed in a birdcage larger than his room. He is, by all accounts, the human thief from Jack’s fairy tale, and Akechi’s brain is going to grind his bones to make his bread. Perfect. Just perfect.

At least his teammates are safe, with plans and plans to rescue Ren and reunite. And, considering the way Ren screamed after the cognition had tossed him up into the air like a pebble, probably planning a cognitive shutdown upon their return.

It’s not like they hadn’t discussed it, between questions of why, why, why. Why here? Why now? Why Akechi? Why was Ren so quiet as they discussed the very valid option of letting his mind decay—

A massive, cold shadow blocks out the light. Without seeing its owner, Ren scrambles back, his spine hitting the gold bars of the cage. A part of him doesn’t want to look, doesn’t want to see the face of the boy he played billiards with looming above him like a skyscraper. So, Ren doesn’t. It’s a perfect, fool-proof strategy—

Up until the cognition’s voice crackles through the air like distant thunder, “Hm. Bored, now.”

Ren’s eyes snap up, just in time to see a massive, stupidly fast hand reach in the cage. Ren doesn’t even have time to get his feet under him before it wraps around his body, and yanks him out like a child’s doll.

Ren isn’t thinking about the fact that there’s nothing between him in the floor except the cognition’s hand, it squeezing his arms to his side and curling a pinkie under his legs. Ren isn’t thinking about his face looming above him, nor that the eyes locked onto his body are larger than his head. He certainly isn’t thinking about all the things the giant could do to him, nor the realization that, after everything, this might be the first time Ren would need a revival bead—

The cognition flops back against his throne, kicking his feet up against a building-sized ottoman. As if remembering the thief in his grip, he brings Ren to his face. Ren stalwartly refuses to look at him, squeezing his eyes shut, even as this Akechi chuckles and brushes a thumb against his head. There have been many palaces Ren disliked but this one he thinks he truly hates—

“I know I’m a lot to take in,” The cognition purrs—that’s not right, some part of Ren’s brain manages, only stopping himself from panicking by a thread. “But you don’t have to hide. It’s not like you haven’t seen more than my face.”

The soft pad of a glove prods against Ren’s face. He sputters, squirms, but eventually the cognition pins his head between his thumb and the side of his finger. Ren can only shudder as it pushes his mask right off his face.

Ren’s pulse spikes. He creaks his eyes open, only to squeeze them shut as the cognition’s finger fills his vision. It hovers too close for his eyes to focus, a padded glove brushing against his forehead and—brushing the hair out of his eyes?

Because he’s always been an idiot when it came to Akechi, Ren opens his eyes.

The cognition stares back. “There we are.” He smiles, and the stretch of his face is one too many things to focus on, because— “There’s that pretty face of yours.”

Ren’s cheeks burn, heart hammering in his chest. Instead of addressing anything, he takes in the—expanse of the cognition’s body. He appears to be nothing more than an oversized facsimile of Loki. He wears a striped, band-like jacket. The patterns fade and curve in a way Ren can’t follow, not against the length of his massive arm. Minus the searing bright gold of his eyes, the cognition looks human—aside, of course, from the red horns jutting from his forehead like streetlamps, his absurd height, and—are those fangs—?

Akechi’s cognition is grinning down at Ren with fangs longer than his hand. Ren is utterly trapped, probably barely bigger than the thumb of the giant holding him. Ren is trying not to process the last sentence the cognition breathed into this world. After everything, he barely catches his low murmur, “I thought you’d be more entertaining than the shadows scurrying around here. I wonder, would you scream as well as them?”

Every ounce of blood drains out of Ren’s body. The cognition’s eyes crinkle in delight. Latching onto the conversation topic—and knowing that he probably would, and every bit of Akechi’s psyche would love it—Ren says, “Do the shadows here not worship you?”

The cognition hums, the sound reverberating through Ren’s chest like a bass. “Oh, they should—but, no. I’m the only thing that deserves power, around here. They’re nothing more than distractions.”

Ren fights the urge to shudder, remembering peeking into a room with the cognition in it, watching him idly dispose of a group that would overwhelm the thieves with just a few, white-hot blasts of energy.

He’s distracted enough he almost doesn’t register the words vibrating through his core. “Goro-kun’s cognition only allows for one person in power, I’m afraid.”

Ren blinks. His mouth feels, suddenly, dry. He tries to read the cognition’s face, even just the few feet in front of him, but all he can read is the same, vague satisfaction. “You know?”

“Everything, yes,” The cognition says, and he says it so assuredly Ren feels the urge to believe him.

“That you’re not real?”

The cognition seems to start, at that. He pulls Ren closer, higher, holding him above his towering face. And, without even a twitch as warning, he lets go.

Ren falls, wind whipping through his coat and his hair and, suddenly, the surface of not-Akechi’s lap seems more like it’ll break his legs than anything. And, suddenly, Ren’s voice is escaping him in an involuntarily scream, Akechi’s body shooting past him and the ground rushing closer and—

Idly, lazily, the cognition’s other hand catches him. Ren lands with an oof in the massive palm, less than a couple meters away from a bone-breaking fall. Instinctively, to assess the threat before him, Ren looks up.

He has to crane his neck back to see the cognition’s face, the way his fangs gleam in the light of his throne room as he asks, “Does this seem fake to you?”

Ren can barely form words, more focused on taking shallow, even breaths. Thankfully, the cognition beats him to the chase. “Goro-kun’s known the rules of the Metaverse since he was fifteen. If he hadn’t already awakened, I’m what would be his Persona. Since he’s awakened several, was a Cognitive Pscience guinea pig, this that and the third, I’ve known I’m a cognition since the moment these palace walls formed.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Ren croaks.

The cognition shrugs, bringing Ren up a closer to the billboard of his face. “We have a compulsion to tell the truth. Besides, you’ve always been a great listener.” He smiles, a little less sharp. “I’m sure you have more questions. Ask away.”

Ren figures he doesn’t have much to lose, so he tries, “Can you let me go?”

The shadow laughs, a sharp, painful bark that leaves Ren clutching his ears. He says, in the same tone Akechi would use when Ren would risk everything to do a ridiculous trick shot, “Be serious. You’re trying to steal my heart, are you not?”

Wary of the shadow’s fingers hovering around him, Ren tries, “Does Akechi not want us to change his heart?”

“Every ruler wants someone to change their heart.” The cognition rests his head on his hand, eyes flicking up to the ceiling. “It’s why there’s always a route to the treasure—or a route to a bullet in their head. Subconsciously, humans will always desire help. Goro-kun will scream and cry and bite once you send him that calling card, but, in the end, he’ll be a changed man and everything will work out fine.”

He draws out the final syllable. His fingers twitch towards Ren, and Ren hasn’t missed a warning since Kamoshida’s castle. “Do you have anything more interesting to ask?”

Ren swallows. Well, he has time, and if the cognition’s being honest... “Are you going to hurt me?”

The cognition peers down at him, the glow of his eyes nearly blinding, “Hasn’t Goro-kun already done enough?”

Ren remembers February, December, November. Ren can also see what’s looming within arm’s reach, “Then why am I in the palm of your hand?”

“Why change the heart of every person you come across? Why surround yourself with friends willing to die for you? Why use my life as a bargaining chip during that February?” The cognition pokes him in the side. Ren flinches. “Do you know how easy it would be to take advantage of your size? Goro-kun’s never truly had power over you, but I do. And what can you do about it?”

“Stop you,” Ren breathes, like a mantra, “We’re going to fix this, we’re going to save you—“

“You’re so cute,” The cognition says, like he’s baby-talking a kitten. “I could hurt you, if I want to state the obvious. But, I think it’d only break Goro-kun’s distorted heart if I killed the boy he loves.”

The air in Ren’s lungs goes cold. A beat passes. Two. Eventually, he manages to stutter out, “I’m sorry?”

The cognition searches his face, eyes gleaming like a spotlight, before fanged lips curl into a smile. “Aw, you didn’t know? It really didn’t take a detective. You were his only companion, why wouldn’t he develop a puppy crush?” Ren can’t quite convince himself he’s lying, can’t quite pull air into his lungs before he rumbles, “You weren’t there for the dozens of unsent date invites, the Wikipedia pages he read just to impress you, and, oh, the way he threw up that curry you made for him when he killed you—“

“Stop it—“ Ren tries, tries, tries. “Let me go—“

“He needed you, and he couldn’t stand it.” The cognition lifted him up, running a finger down his side, his touch gentle. “He had to push you away, you see? Push himself into nothingness, find the magic beans that would help him repent, but also forget you.” Ren squirms, grunts, but massive fingers press against him back, hold him still as the cognition pets him. “He failed, if it wasn’t obvious. He thought of you every night, until his heart became corrupted, and his desires swelled his perception of himself into me. Don’t flatter yourself, truly, it wasn’t only because of you—with everything that’s happened to him, it’s a miracle it didn’t distort sooner.”

“You’re—“ Hurting him, except he wasn’t. The cognition was just petting him and talking to him and Ren wanted to crawl out of his skin. “Stop—“

“And now, I’m here.” Goro hums, finally flipping Ren onto his back, pinning him down with his index finger. Ren struggles against the weight, and only feels the cognition’s breath wash over him in a silent laugh. “I’m here to do what he was too helpless, to small to do. He never wanted to let you go? Then I won’t. He wanted to lock you in a cage, away from anyone else but him? Then I will. He wanted your entire world to narrow to his hands, to pull your life on a string guided by his fingers?” The cognition leans in. Smirks, wide. “Who am I to deny him the privilege?”

Here, an arm’s reach away from his massive face, Ren can tell the cognition is telling the truth. His organs feel too large for his body. He fights the urge to shield himself, to claw out his heart, to plead and beg and ask why didn’t he just tell me—?

It’s not like he wasn’t fond of Akechi, but even if he could make his lips form the word love, he’s sure neither of them would want their relationship to progress like this.

Though, what is this cognition, but twisted desires made real?

“Don’t worry about anything else, okay?” The cognition continues, after Ren’s almost caught his breath. “I’ll take care of everything. If your thieves are smart enough, they won’t come back to us. If not—what’s a few more pests to squash?”

The cognition peers down at him, lips turning up as Ren writhes under his finger. It’s impossibly heavy, crushing the air out of his lungs, the weight of the cognition's words flutter around Ren’s head. His blood-red gloves look so small against the cognition’s digit, and for all of Ren’s Metaverse strength, he doesn’t budge an inch. He probably won’t even be able to save his friends.

“You’re so cute when you squirm,” The cognition says, with a tone like dark chocolate. “Maybe I will keep you around. I have all the treasure I need, right here—“

“I’m sorry,” is the only thing Ren can think to say.

The cognition blinks at him, like a cat watching their prey. Ren licks his lips, wills himself to breathe under the weight of his finger. “I’m sorry we let it get this bad. I’m sorry I didn’t know you were alive until a week ago, that I didn’t do anything to help you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you lo—your feelings until it was too late.”

The finger’s weight lessens, a little. Ren continues, peering up, trying to see if he can pierce through those golden eyes. “I’m going to fix this, Goro. We’re going to save you, I promise.”

The cognition stares at him. Ren recognizes the poker face as the one he’s leveraged to Goro countless times. Gradually, he lifts his finger off Ren’s chest. Ren doesn’t move, lying on his side, waiting for the cognition’s next play.

With the force of a runaway train, the cognition’s fingers snap to Ren’s collar. The surface of the massive palm vanishes. Ren’s legs flail, his hands trying, in vain, to stop his coat from choking him. The cognition pulls him up, until all he can see is his eyes, staring him down like speeding headlights.

“Don’t pretend like this isn’t a game to you and your group of Phantom Thieves, like I haven’t ruined every—“ The cognition cuts himself off, barks out a laugh. “You don’t care about him, you never did. That’s why I’m here, to give him what he’s too cowardly to take.”

“That’s why I’m, here, too,” Ren grunts. He debates kicking out, clipping the edge of the cognition’s nose with his boot, but considering how far off the ground he is—and how close he is to the cognition’s mouth—he thinks better of it. “You think I wouldn’t come all this way if I didn’t care—?”

The cognition stands up in one, fluid movement. Ren can’t help the scream he gives, nor the way his hands claw for purchase against massive fingers. Genuine sweat beads on his forehead. The ground’s so far away—

“I wonder, how your thieves would react to seeing you reduced to a stain?” The cognition stomps forward, fingers steel around Ren’s scruff, even as he kicks and sways. “You seem to forget your place, little thing—“

Static electricity sings through Ren’s veins, adrenaline keeping him struggling, even as the cognition dangles him over a skyscraper-sized drop. “Goro—“

The slam of the cognition opening the cage is the only thing Ren can register, before he sends him flying through the air. His side hits the gilded floor, sliding across it like an abandoned toy.

“Fe, fi, fo, fum. I smell the blood of a lying thief.” Ren cranes his neck up just in time to see the cognition slam the door closed. He glares down at him, his shadow blocking out the light, and Ren’s never quite felt so small. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

With that, the cognition stomps away. He settles down into that massive throne, ignoring Ren like he truly is just some pet in a cage. Ren’s hands swelter. This sucks. This sucks, and yet…

All he can do is sit back, wait for his thieves, and hope that, after they change Goro’s heart, making things right isn’t too out of reach..

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

i just had a dream about the super mario bros movie

It was surprisingly good -- in fact, it's probably my favorite Mario movie. It starts out as an adaptation of the original game with all the old characters and everything (except Bowser is played by Jack Black), but then after they escape from the castle there are some weird cuts that imply the real story has started happening already. The cuts don't necessarily make sense narratively, because what we're seeing seems to be taking place before anything else; I guess this is part of why it reminded me of Inception.

The plot involves Mushroom Kingdom being invaded by bullet ants, who have been trained to do their work by flying bullets. These Bullet Ants are actually dark magic users who were originally going to invade Flying Island instead, but it turned into Mushroom Kingdom when something went wrong. So now there are these guys whose whole thing is flying around shooting stuff at people, except it works on mushrooms too? What happened here? And how did the bullet ant magicians get the idea for this if they were really planning to go somewhere else? Who knows! Anyway . . .

Mario gets mind-controlled by one of them so he flies off like a regular bullet, which makes him look kind of threatening until he lands back down whereupon everyone thinks "oh yeah this guy will totally save us" even though this particular Mario does not seem to know much of anything besides making fireballs at enemies 10 feet away. But anyway it's fine because eventually things start working out and also you realize that the way the bullet ants fly isn't exactly normal, since they can hover and rotate while moving forward, sort of like helicopters. They've apparently gone through the trouble of designing special helmets with these abilities and training many other little creatures called "helmet fairies" to help out. This might sound dumb or ridiculous but somehow it didn't come across as such in context. Maybe because it made perfect sense once you realized how well everything fit together. Also, they used lots of low-quality CGI, so it seemed less lifelike than the classic Bullet Ant designs would suggest, which helped reinforce this feeling. Somehow this worked in favor of the absurdity rather than against it.

The film ends with a fight between Mario and Bowser, who is more powerful than ever thanks to having learned to control the power of gravity. He still uses his hammer and chain whip as weapons, but now those also affect the ground beneath him, including sending giant chunks upward to crush anyone below him. The rest of the final battle takes place inside a cave with no light source visible above, and our heroes keep getting hit with big rocks and knocked backwards, etc., until finally they find some lightning bolts and use those to defeat Bowser and thus set themselves free. Now they go home happy knowing they saved their kingdom. At least, unless you count Super Luigi as a main character, in which case they never left home to begin with, so why should they celebrate? All very mysterious. Either way, the world feels better. You feel glad for everyone involved. Even Mario himself looks satisfied.

[yandere-writer-momo]

Monster F-er Presents: Grimm’s Darling Fairy Tales!

A mix between Brother’s Grim and Disney Movies brings you the magic of sweet dArK adorable, and heartwarming PoSsEsSiVe romance between the Darling Reader and the main character/s of each story! Including magic, dEaTh fantasy, GoRe and finding your true love! yOu BeLoNg To ThEm-

As your being forced against your will to stay and never having the chance to go home-

So stay for awhile! Either lay down in bed or sit in a chair and read each and every story, until it satisfies you to your heart’s content! WhY aRe YoU cRyInG?

You can’t leave, why would you want to leave??? Is there someone who’s making you scared? Who is it?! We’ll KILL them so they’ll never bother you again!! WHERE ARE YOU RUNNING!?!??!!!

ErRoR eRrOr ErRoR

What do you think? I tried to do a spine-chiller type of thing here (I don’t know if it was good or not since this is the first time doing it) with a few ideas on some classic Fairy Tales but with some Rizzy Twists (Or Twists you think would work better)

Sorry if that was creepy or not creepy enough (Did you get some Goosebumps?)

If you’re curios, I can send you the Starring List of Each Baki Character with the star; Darling Reader! (It’s just the Name Titles and ‘Star Actors’ for each Story, along with the simple Plot Line, but with a Twist!)

Example;

Little Darling Hood

Characters: Reader (As ‘Little’ short Darling Hood as the cute little baker, who comes to Jack’s ‘aid’ not realizing her mistake)

Jack (As the Hunter/Lumberjack of the town that lives deep in the woods all alone secretly the infamous Big Bad Werewolf that terrorizes nearby villages by devouring their cattle, livestock and foolish hunters that think they can kill him)

Plot: Jack Hanma is the Hunter and Lumberjack of the small village and falls sick, but his size and stoic demeanor makes everyone too afraid to help him, except for sweet and kind Reader, who decides to go to his cabin to take care of him! (With a basket full of medicine, pastries and the meat and vegetables he gave her as a gift yesterday)

However, Reader doesn’t realize that ‘poor’ Jack isn’t sick, but he’s actually in his Heat Cycle trying to stay away from said cute baker to not scare her (But now that she’s in his cabin, he’s going to devour her whole, and not in the way she thinks)

Jack please be gentle, you wouldn’t want to scare your mate would you? Let her know she’s safe, after all she accepted your proposal! That’s why she came to you with the food you gave her before your cycle started, to show you can provide for her better than anyone else, and she came to CARE for you, like a kind and loving mate should do!

And before you ask, YES Jack will look a cross between Human and Werewolf at the moment (He looks bigger to, but it’s his very soft and fluffy fur that makes him look beefier than he usually looks, which is covering his entire body minus some of his face)

I hope this wasn’t weird (My ADHD is running wild right now and I can’t stop it) Proceeds to stare into the distance with a deranged look realizing how much of a freak I really am I really like your stuff and I’m know for getting to hyper-fixated on things I really like (Your writing is the stuff I like)

Another potential fic to add to my queue.

My WIPs so far

Kizaki x fem!reader x Yandere Hanayama 🌶️

Yeti Sikorsky x Sacrificial Bride reader x Dwarf Gaia

Orc Jack Hanma x princess reader (450 special)

Biscuit Oliva x Sugar baby reader 🌶️

Werewolf Jack x R.R.H reader 🌶️

Collab with @de4thbl4de 💕 (might hold a poll for who we should write about)

[a-had-matter]

Hello! And happy, Silly Sunday! (Which is something I just came up with because I'm bored,lol)

Today, your OCs/favorite characters will be doing something chaotic/silly!

Today, your OCs/favorite characters have decided to go and have a fun day at the fair. Except there's a twist! Not only have they decided to go to the fair, but they've also decided to go dressed up as their favorite characters from their favorite books/movies!

The rest is up to you!

Good luck!

And have fun!

Sorry I took so long @firesmokeandashes I was trying to write the answer, and it's been a while since I have. Here it is:

The Annual Fall Festival was a sight to behold. People from any and everywhere came to it. It was something you couldn’t miss. You smelled the pies from the Apple family bakery no matter how far you traveled the cobblestone path. And that mixed with the natural scent of warm spices in the air was heavenly.

The festival was held in a town-like setting, and only those with an invitation came. But all who’d cause no interruption to the peaceful place was welcome, and no one but the owner could enter with the invitation, so there was that.

The fairy-like fairy lights that filled the sky like stars gave the place even more of an ethereal feel. It isn’t really something you can explain to someone, you have to be there.

And Ruby and Robbie were there, along with Guppy, dressed in costumes. Ruby was Jack Sparrow, since “no one does it better than a pirate.” (If you don’t know, you don’t want to.) Guppy was dressed as Tinkerbell, since as we all know, the real one’s a badass. And Robbie went as a Lunar, since he was, his words, supernaturally gorgeous.

“That is not w—”

“Rubes, don’t ruin this for me.”

Grumbling, Ruby shut her mouth.

Little Guppy was in awe; sure she’d traveled, but she’d never seen anything like this: All of the games you won earned you enchanted objects, magical trading all around (and not the kind with killing), bakery sweets that filled you up with every positive emotion, warm apple cider that kept you as warm as itself, the fest was incredible.

After a few games, Ruby had won Guppy a hedgehog plushie.

“Their name is Bacon.”

“Why Bacon?” Robbie asked, “And is it a girl, or a boy?”

“Their neutral Daddy. Well, unless they choose something else. And Bacon was the name they were born with. Bacon said so.” she told him as seriously as only a 5-year old could.

“How could you just assume they were a girl or a boy, Robbie? We’re at Fall Fest for gods sake.” Ruby teased him.

“I’m sorry, Bacon, for assuming your gender.” 

After a moment, she held the hedgehog close and replied, “You’ve been forgiven.”

Grinning, her father lifted her up and spun her around, then tickled the girl into a pile of giggles.

“Come on,” Ruby told them, “let’s go get some funnel cakes. I’ve heard they’re the best around.” 

Guppy and Ribbie were arguing over whether she would have half of his, or one of her own.

Ruby was talking to a baker, the quiet one, Aubrey. 

“Is that your kid?” she asked, nodding to Guppy.

“No, she’s my niece. I don’t have any.”

“Why not? I saw you talking to some kids and you’re really good with them.”

“I travel a lot, always in some sort of trouble or the other. I wouldn’t want my kid to be cooped up somewhere. I’d want them to be safe, but they’d be just like me. I don’t want them to be unhappy either.” The words just poured out of her. She had always liked kids, but it wouldn’t end well. It just wouldn’t.

“How do you know for sure?” Aubrey asked.

“What do you mean? Isn’t it obvious it wouldn’t work out?”

“But nothing’s set in stone. There is no sure way to know that something terrible would immediately happen to your child. I mean, something would happen eventually, but you could prepare. Both them and yourself.”

Ruby paused. She’d never thought of it that way.

“You know what?  I’ll think about it.” she told her. 

Then she chuckled. “It’s kinda funny how we just had that conversation, but I just now noticed I was in costume.”

The baker snickered, “Yes, it is. You look good though.”

“I know I do.”

The duo collapsed into cackles now. Anyone looking through the window would wonder what the hell was wrong with them, but they didn’t care. Not a bit.

[lofi-bunni]

More SMT+!Yuu. The “default demons”

Last one:

Oof, this is a long one.

Just some points about the “default demons” and their personalities, Yuu has. As well as their dynamics with Yuu. Also some interactions with NRC.

Jack Frost: The first favorite child. Yuu carries them around like a plush. When it isn’t being carried around cutely, it’s marching behind Yuu like a child playing soldier. They are honestly like a child, they jump around curoius about everything and try to grab things. He-ho-ing their way into trouble. NRC thinks Jack Frost is just a bumbling idiot pet…until it freezes a room completely solid. Crouching moron hidden badass vibes. No wonder Yuu was so lax with it. Whispers curious questions into Yuu’s mind…as well as the occasional He-Ho!

Black Frost: The meaner spoiled older brother. They don’t come out much but they are definitely there for the boss fights. They’re a big bully and act as a type of social trump card for Yuu and the rest. NRC npc’s bullying (or at least trying to bully) Yuu? Here comes the giant overblot monster thing! Black Frost most definitely tries to make Yuu do more chaotic “petty bully” things

Alice: Die For Me! Would be so OP in twst. Blot would be akin to the dark attribute so everyone is weak to it. Meaning Yuu can basically insta kill almost everyone, except for the overblots. Plus imagine her demeanor around Heartslabyul and the unbirthday parties. She would creepily show up around the school sitting on things swinging her legs whispering about death. In unbirthday parties she would hang out in her own corner. She would do the “mount” animation thing where she holds holds Yuu’s hand and skips around dragging Yuu behind her. Alice is the second spoiled brat and gets let off the hook by Yuu a lot. Despite the gang being increasingly worried about Alice’s umm eccentricities. Alice whispers darker thoughts into Yuu’s mind.

Idun: A cutesy idol who is peppy and free spirited. They aren’t well fit into NRC. She is the healer of the party and is generally what makes Yuu so carefree in this world. They can always rely on their healer for a patch up! Idun tries to encourage safe fun and tries to get Yuu to participate more in VDC. NRC students trying to take advantage of her kindness though will get a sassy tsundere attitude and maybe a slap (kinda like Eliza honestly..)

Mephisto: Mephisto is a curious one among Yuu’s demons. They seems less like a pet or servant and more like a equal force…a partner in crime. They talk to each other the same way a house warden and vice house warden would. Mephisto goes around the campus and sneaks around. He’s like Yuu’s spy. And they actually look around for ways back to Yuu’s world. Basically a second brains to the operation, the main source of “smart” companionship Yuu has. They whisper advice into Yuu’s mind about observations they might have missed.

Yoshitsune: The calm one of the group. A little honorable to a fault so.. sarcasm kinda flies over their head. They are a powerhouse in the group so their quite confident in their skills adding onto Yuu’s laxness in TW. They do the whole “I’m so gracious” act with their skills and service so when Crowley starts doing it they immediately see a rival and end up giving him a side eye for the rest of their time there. They confidently tell Yuu not to worry as their strength will stop any troubles. Hassoubu Tobi is just as powerful here than Yuu’s world.

Titania: Mother vibes. Kinda stuck up. She tries to romanticize the atmosphere. Is prissy about Ramshackle, tries to clean around. The Fairy Gala is a sore spot for her since she’s obviously the REAL queen of faeries. Was 100% gonna just light that greenhouse up and had to be stopped. Kinda judges Malleus at first but warms up to him. Puts people to sleep when Yuu wants to sneak around. She whispers worries and cutesy delusions into Yuu’s mind.

Metatron: An absolute lawful-good. Just a Riddle Sebek combined. Sings Yuu’s praises the same way Sebek does to Malleus. Yuu just kinda smiles. Maybe their bashful, maybe their annoyed, maybe their even happy. Doesn’t matter; it’s a blank smile of hidden insanity. But metatrons an absolute powerhouse so… They want to smite down anyone who messes with Yuu. They try to give advice to Yuu but in a complete respectful way trying hard not to ‘criticize’ them or imply they don’t know something.

Trumpeter: A quiet creepy one. Whenever an overblot occurs it’s trumpet could be heard from the other side of campus. Its quiet demeanor spells it as a harbinger of doom.

Night Raven Collage was a odd place. With so many magical prodigy’s in one place NRC was bound for trouble. But the image of a pale little girl in a blue dress with a deathly look in her eyes skipping down the hallway dragging a unimpressed student behind them was certainly an odd sight. The little girls aura was even more of a mystery. It’s felt of death and blot, as if all of humanities ugly was morphed into a human form. It looked human but was obviously not. The unimpressed student behind the girl looked neutral, almost exasperated at the antics of the skipping death of front of them. They made their way towards the lunch room, the sea of students in their path parting in the wake of such a creature. What an odd sight. Maybe someone should snap a photo…

People had attempted to bully the “magicless” student before. The first time the prefect just walked past them, not even sparring a glance…the second time.

The prefect looked down at the cowering students. Their form was shadowed by the beast behind them. Jack Frost laughed in their arms practically trying to jump out of them. Behind Yuu was something that looked awfully similar to the snowman except it was jet black with purple accessories. It’s red eyes shone as it’s body blocked out the sun behind it, but even shadowed it’s growing grin was visible to the students it towered over. The students to their credit thought quick and launched fire attacks at it thinking it would be weak to them like the Jack Frost Yuu was always carrying around. But the giant creature didn’t even flinch at each attack opting to instead laugh out a distorted sound. This felt of an overblot. Negative emotions swirling to the point of physical form. All controlled by a seemingly “magicless” student. The students cowered below the three figures as death quickly approached. But just as it materialized it was gone. All they saw when lowering their shaking arms was the shoes of the prefect walking past them, once again not even sparring them a glance.

Grim wasn’t expecting extra company when he decided to join the prefect in ramshackle. Turns out ghosts are less scary when put next to magical beings and monsters of epic proportion. Grim got used to most of them, he and Black Frost got along while Jack Frost was considered his “second henchmen” ; it looked more like two 6 year olds playing follow the leader in the backyard. Grim was unnerved by Alice and annoyed by Metatron. But over time he got used to his new , “family”. If any of them were to cross the line he could just tell Yuu and all would be forgiven…to an extent. But one sleepless night when he woke to Yuu gone from the rickety bed he met a new demon he hadn’t seen before. Yuu was capable of pulling out new demons from the crevices of their subconscious or at least that’s what Yuu told Grim. But, as displayed during the most recent fight, it was often flashy and draining for the Prefect. They usually stuck with their current team, all with their own quirks and traits. Grim didn’t see the Prefect any more tired than they were on a normal basis, actually this might have been the most “energetic” he’d seen Yuu outside of battle. In front of Yuu stood a tall pale man. His features were spindly and outfit reminiscent of jesters and clowns. But his dark hair that seemed to drape over his face and devilish eyes seemed to suggest much higher regality than a mere clown. He had his arms outstretched and was talking to Yuu in what seemed like a dramatic and important conversation. Yuu was leaning against the wall, posture suggesting lax and comfort. Unlike with their other servants which they had usually an air of authority around, this seemed like a meeting between two co-workers. Yuu, despite the lax disposition, had their eyes focused on the devilish man before them. They looked at him intently while he spoke and nodded along, even occasionally asking questions for which the man put his hand up to his chin and his eyes turned to slits, thinking carefully. Grim couldn’t hear their conservation in full not for lack of trying, but the conversation felt as if it were muffled ; as if Grim was hearing it vaguely through a wall despite being a few feet away from them. But he did manage to catch the name of the new demon. “Thank you for your insight and hard work, I’ll call for you if I need more help…Mephisto.” Then the demon gave a bow and slunk back into the shadows leaving no trace behind.

:Yo does anyone know who the hell the magicless student is??

:The one with the monsters? Their names Yuu I think.

:Yeah, what’s ups with them?

:No idea.

: Dude I just watched them like run a million laps and not break a sweat

: hUh

: Yea, Coach Vargus is shaking rn

: You guys should have seen them at the bean fest!

: They shot like they used a gun before it was crazy. Even did this backflip and started rolling and stuff-super military vibes

: damn…why are they in NRC again???

: they don’t even use a magestone, don’t even think they have the one

: Yeah, they summon like monsters right? How do they do that without overblotting?

: Idk man

: No idea but the monsters remind me of that one overblot so maybe that’s why they don’t??

: who knows man.

: I know I’m late and should go to sleep but I wanna tell you all. A couple weeks ago I saw the prefect get hit with a big fireball like, straight to the face. They didn’t even notice like. Hehwbhsjwhs

: Go to sleep!! Also yeah that’s kinda weird, maybe a protection spell or a potion???

: No! That’s not the weird part, the fireball bounced off them and hit the guy who threw it!!!!!

: like reflect in *insert Pokémon knockoff* ?????

: YEAH!

: ALL OF YOU ITS 3:00 A.M GO TO SLEEP!!

: OK MOMmmmmmmm

[septembersung]

🤝 please!

How do the characters meet, including the antagonist?

For now I’ll call this story Amaryllis, after the protagonist. I’ve talked about it a little here in the past but if you remember any of that (and I’m not sure I do) please disregard because it’s effectively scrapped.

The characters don’t meet in-story because they already know each other, with one major exception. Amaryllis takes place in a fictional town in Kansas, a mishmash of many details from real small towns from all over; call it an ur-small town of flyover country. The cast all grew up there or have lived there long enough to make no difference to the narrative. Rylla and her husband have known each other since they were in diapers. Rylla's close friend circle includes two women she grew up with and her college roommate, who moved back with her to be part of the "keep small town business flourishing" movement and start the art business they own together.

The primary antagonist isn’t a person, it’s grief and death. Rylla’s 4yo daughter died nine months before the story opens.

The exception to the very local cast is the priest-monk who moves in and ends up being the catalyst for Rylla’s salvation. Rylla isn’t Catholic or even particularly anything - culturally Protestant, basically - and she doesn’t convert in story, but they end up as unlikely friends. Fr. Thaddeus is a member of the fictional order dedicated to St. Michael that shows up in several of my wips. In a group of exceptional men, he stands out. His personality and history is mostly a mystery to me still but I do know he’s a jack of all trades, an artist of some kind (like Rylla), and an exorcist. He's a young-looking middle age, with an unassuming face, and his robes deflect from his powerful physique. The kind of muscle you get from decades of self-discipline and living an active rural life. He's been sent as part of the vanguard of monks establishing a daughterhouse of the order on a large property at the edge of town. The property borders public lands with trails, a lake, etc. This is all relevant to the question because it explains the unusual circumstances of their first meeting.

Fr. Thaddeus meets Rylla before she meets him. Since Amber’s death, Rylla has been increasingly out of touch and detached from reality. He’s seen her around and is aware of her situation. Part of his job is to get to know the people of the town and get a feel for the spiritual landscape. Another part of his job is to explore the lands the order bought and build, not the main church or any of the monastery proper, but the hermitage style retreat chapel they'll need, deep in the property and out of the way. For Fr. Thaddeus, this is practically a sabbatical, especially after his last assignment. Lots of alone time, a private construction project, endless hours for praying? He's having a great time. He's also waiting for the other shoe to drop, because he knows he's not really on vacation, but so far the Lord hasn't put anything in particular in his path.

Rylla is having a particularly bad episode here around the nine month anniversary of Amber's death. She’s wandering the trails late in the day, leaves the trail, finds a spot to rest, falls asleep, wakes up in the dark in a bad storm. If she had a weather radio, it would be screaming 'flash flood warning.' Trying to get back to her car she gets lost and ends up on the order’s new property where he happens to be camping out and he saves her life, though she doesn’t quite realize it. She’s not self aware enough to realize she was passively seeking death. Or isn’t able to admit it to herself. To her he’s like a figure out of a fairy tale. A not very pleasant fairy tale.

For his part, Fr. Thaddeus is an exceptionally grounded man, as well as spiritually astute, and immediately recognizes that this soul, particularly, is why he's here.

[kokorowoutsu]

-- HC: Worldbuilding ‘faq’

A list of questions that are answered to what I consider canon for my characters at the least.

-- What is this AU and how does it work?

Essentially its what I dub a Modern Fantasy + Pokemon AU. It isn’t uncommon to find elves, orcs, or other fantasy races existing here or even being trainers, and pokemon take the place of sentient animals. Pokeballs are simply a means of transport and instead being a trainer means having a knack for communication with the hearts of said pokemon which, in past years, was not common. It is only in recent times that there’s a influx of them.

There is also the ‘Primal Energy’ source that pokemon can call upon for power boosts in battle and it gives them more power then the usual pokemon might have in say anime or game verse. This truly is a fantasy world but just make it pokemon.

-- Who are the Champions of the Regions?

The Champions of each region are the following; Lance/Donovan* (Kanto/Johto, Donovan is his protege), Steven (Hoenn), Cynthia/Night* (Sinnoh, Night is her protege), Iris (Unova, Alder retired), Diantha (Kalos), Hau (Alola, there was no protag), Savannah* (Galar, Leon retired), Geeta/Nemona (Paldea, Nemona is protege). Champions usually will take on a protege at some point to train and they are trained to take over when they retire ( ie. Alder with Iris ).

-- How do you handle each generation / sets of games?

All game timelines have taken place and everything is set into one verse!. ( ie. Naranja-Uva Academy existing ) The only exception games that haven’t taken place are Black2/White2 because it never happened for my verse.

-- What ships are canon in this verse?

Ships that are actively interacted with across blogs tied to this one, canon or OC ( or both )! 

-- How do Legendary Pokemon work in this verse?

Depending on the legendary there is usually one one or multiple depending such as there being one Dialga and many Celebi. It isn’t uncommon either for legendary pokemon to pick a ‘Champion’ and take them under their wing, sometimes granting them their power or an unlimited lifespan. Such is the case with Kianga/N and Reshiram. The thing about them, however, is they are incredibly picky and usually revered depending on the culture as Gods or a bane. They are also jacked up in power feeding on primal energy and or being its source.

-- What is ‘Primal Energy’?

Primal Energy are invisible wellsprings that I like to think of color-coded fountains which is metaphorically where pokemon sprang from. Pokemon had this power first, but in time they shared their knowledge with the other races of the worlds and they bonded together. That’s how trainers and pokemon came to be alongside one another.

Type Specialists are especially in tune with these well-springs and have otherworldly abilities depending on which one it is. The oldest of old are, of course, ones such as Fire, Water, Grass, etc, but the ones that gave rise to civilizations for trainerkind and pokemonkind are said to be Dragon, Fairy, and Fighting-type. 

-- How do the battle mechanics work in this verse?

Mega Evolution, Z-Crystals, Dynamax, and Terastilize all exist in the same universe and work much like the anime. There are also Shadow Pokemon, Totem Pokemon, etc available in this verse and considered canon. The Fae-Touched Pokemon I include here are exclusive to fairfolk-touched pokemon and is a mechanic that is like Totem Pokemon but they’re not big, just the same size but more powerful and prone to more feral movements in battle.

-- What regions are considered canon?

Everything in the canon pokemon universe across all games and fangames. I will consider SOME fangames canon depending on if people can convince me. As for Ranger Regions, the lore of aotoreiki’s is considered canon here so look to their posts for more on the various Ranger Regions!

-- What technology exists in this verse?

Real world technology exists here! Anything you can think of just think of it pokemon-ified!

-- How does the world work in this verse?

The Pokemon League is the government respectfully of every region. Champions are responsible in overseeing the entire region. Elite Four respond to serious cases. Gym Leaders are ‘mayors’ of their towns and are responsible in keeping them safe. Lance is the only instance where there is a Champion of two since he is the Champion of Kanto and Johto.

MORE TBA

[dawnmon]

Which Characters Could I, Dawnmon, Beat In A Fistfight.

Explanations under the cut.

Impossible: No way I’d ever get a W against them, not in any world. Forfeit, sheer skill, or Immortality.

c!Tommy: No. I wouldn’t want to, I would forfeit, also he’s actually very good at fighting, he’s just usually up against C!Dream or C!Techno, so.

c!Sapnap: He’s very good at combat, he got Techno to very low health on Doomsday, No way.

c!Ghostbur: Even if I Could hit Ghostbur, I would choose not to.

c!Techno: No Way.

c!Punz: He’s like Sapnap where he’s very good at combat, he’s a mercenary, etc. Before s4 I’d say I didn’t want to but now I’d Want to I just wouldn’t be Able to.

c!BBH: He’s a demon, and he can’t die unless Skeppy does. He’s also a prison guard who didn’t immediately die to Dream and Techno, so there’s that too. If he’s Egged, as well, he’d be hard.

c!Sam Nook: He was critted several times without armor with a netherite sword and didn’t die, no way. Even if he was weak and defenseless, I’d forfeit.

c!Callahan: God.

c!DreamXD: God.

c!Drista: God.

c!Kristen: God.

c!Mexican Dream: NOT a god, but skrunkly beloved who deserved better? No way I can kill him, forfeit.

Unlikely: I probably couldn’t, emotionally or physically, but not 100% impossible.

c!Hannah: She’s a fairy, so she can fly, but Maybe I could beat her. Extremely Unlikely but not Impossible, I don't think she’s fought anyone yet but i don’t like my odds.

c!Tubbo: I wouldn’t Want to fight Tubbo, and also he’s very good at fighting, on par with Tommy.

c!Fundy: I wouldn’t Want to fight him, mainly. He looks like a fox and I Love foxes, and also Fundy deserves better, so I’d feel bad punching him.

c!Eret: Would not want to fight her. She’s a pacifist, but I would Probably forfeit.

c!Purpled: Similar to Punz.

c!Sam: Similar to BBH, but I’d want to beat him so I could tell him to be a better surrogate dad to c!Tommy, and he’s not immortal. (We don’t know what his body is made of, if it’s Netherite then Impossible)

c!Ant: I like cats. If he’s Egged, less likely. If he has weednip? no chance.

c!Slime: I wouldn’t want to. Also, I probably couldn’t, he’s probably like jelly.

c!Eryn: He’s Very good at fighting but through the power of Be A Better Friend To c!Tommy I Might be able to, but yeah he’s very good.

c!Puffy: I don’t know how good she is at fighting tbh, however I’d probably not want to, making my odds a bit less.

c!Foolish: He’s a builder and pacifist, but he is a conditional immortal. He also was a Totem of Death and has lightning. Very Low Odds but not impossible I think.

Neutral: Either I don’t know much about them, or I think it’s closer to a 50/50.

c!Ponk: I don’t know how good they are, but they’re also a doctor who likes lemons (Who deserved better tbh).

c!Jack: He’s bad, but 1. I’d hesitate and 2. He crawled his way out of Hell. also 3. He probably believes he could beat me.

c!Alyssa: Don’t know much about her, so unless she’s a god like Callahan I’ll keep her here.

c!Niki: I don’t think she’s good at fighting but if she gives me cake I’d lose, she’s also just very nice (mostly anyway, when she’s not breaking mass murderers out of jail)

c!Tina: Don’t know anything about her, so she’s here.

c!Q: Quackity losing to Techno with full armor while Tech had iron and a pick and losing a 3v1 isn’t Really indicitive of his strength because it’s Technoblade, so I’m unsure. Leaning towards Probably but you never know with Quackity. I’d probably go easy on him, as well.

c!Michill: I don’t know much about his combat ability, so neutral; he seems to be a pacifist? He hasn’t been in any fights except when Dream got out but that was a mess so it’s hard to say.

Probably: I could probably take them in a fight, but it would be hard.

c!Karl: I don’t think he’s that good at combat? He spends most of his time in Kinoko, and it’s been a while since I’ve seen TFTSMP, but it always ends with him dying, so probably.

c!Skeppy: He’s afaik a diamond creature so leaning towards neutral, but it’s Skeppy.

c!Connor: If his father is DreamXD, then probably not, and I wouldn’t Want to, but I’d say I have a fair shot.

c!Boomer: He looks squishy.

Definitely: I COULD beat them in a fight. I WOULD beat them in a fight. Through ungodly levels of spite, or if they’re extremely frail.

c!Phil: Old man, Dadza is going down. Even if he wasn’t old and frail I’d be able to with the power of spite. Is he good at combat? Yes. However this is no-weapons, giving me the advantage, since his bones might also be hollow like a bird. He can’t fly. He may have survived five years hardcore and be married to Death herself but Old Man Infuriates Me.

c!Schlatt: Frail old man, drunk, I could kill him, it would be easy.

c!Lazar: Gingerbread man who is already dead. I could eat him to death.

(c!Vikk isn’t on here because he’s too powerful, beyond impossible.)

c!Ranboo: All I need is either to bring a hose or mention the concept of sides. He’s an Enderman, which is troublesome, but he’s also an invertebrate.

c!Wilbur: I think anyone could beat Wilbur in a fight. He’s been dead for 13 years.

c!HBomb: It’s HBomb. At least I’d be entertained before he dies?

c!George: Sleeping beauty, it’d be easy as long as he doesn’t have DreamXD with him.

c!Dream: This one will be controversial.

Is Dream on par with Techno? Yes.

Could I beat him? Yes.

Why?

The power of my rage whenever I see the mere Image of this man is already enough to smash boulders. If I met the man face to face I would be filled with enough power to kick his ass twice over. All I need to do is watch Exile Arc again, and it’s upped to thrice. Primeboys S3 and S4, quad.

He’s also been in prison for eight months.

I could and would kill him, skill gap be DAMNED.

[hasmashdoneanythingwrong]

Actually, List of British Servant Vs Cooking Skill:

The Arturias: Nope, never learned and never needed to. That’s honestly it, their lack of cooking isn’t anything funny, they could probably learn to if they wanted.

Gawain: Oh fuck no he can’t! This is actually canon, he’s a one note chef and that note is Bad™

Lancelot: Yes but only to impress the ladies and get laid, and ever then it’s only vaguely decent. Also the cooking isn’t that great.

Tristan: Honestly? Better than the other Knights (except Bedivere) I honestly believe this. I honestly believe Tristan is allowed in the kitchen because he is not a total fuck up somehow.

Bedivere: Like everything in comparison to the Knights, Bedivere is Good But Not The Best. At least, in theory, but Bedivere is Good in a sea of “Banned From The Kitchen” Types, so by comparison Bedivere is a cooking god. Also Bedivere is Good Boy so he can improve unlike most everyone else on this list.

Galahad: Unfortunately yes, Mr Perfect learned to cook because of fucking course he did.

Mordred: Oh he’d try, bless his heart he’d try! But no, this kid cannot cook. Much to the disappointment of Fran.

Agravain: His grease just gets into everything he cooks, ruins everything. Also he’d be the type to make health food exclusively probably.

Gareth: ...Look let’s just say at this point none of the Orkney siblings can cook, though Gareth would mess up the least.

Waver: ...You really think this disaster of a man can cook?

Gray: Hey someone in Wavers entourage has to, and like many things that falls to Gray.

Reines: No Reines, Trimmau cooking does not count as you cooking.

Boudica: Yes and this is canon, however she’s really Iceni so she’s only British on a technicality.

Merlin and Proto Merlin: You look me in the eyes and say you truly believe, in you heart of hearts, that the literal Internet Wizards can cook and cook well. Yeah that’s what I thought.

Astolfo: Ok look I know they’re a French literary character but they’re English in the story so they count. Anyways answer is no but unlike most other noes here they’re not a colossal cooking fuck up they just need a minor amount of work. Like, edible but not preferable.

Moriarty: Honestly? Yes, I do think Moriarty could cook, man is clearly a Man of Wealth And Taste, if nothing else he makes a mean cocktail and I know that doesn’t necessarily translate to cooking but I just Know he can make something serviceable. If nothing else he’s smart enough to know how to not fuck up!

Sherlock: No. Sherlock hides it well enough but this is a slight disaster man and sadly he cannot cook despite his intellect. ...Unless a case requires him to, in which case nothing will taste better. He will figure out gramgram’s secret apple pie recipe for that case and replicate it perfectly and you will be in awe.

Robin Hood: Man lived on his own in Sherwood he probably knows more about how to perfectly roast meat over a fire than anyone else in the world, among other open fire recipes. Also he would actually listen to constructive criticism, a bonus in his favor!

Francis Drake: Actually, I bet she could and would, and she’d do it with stolen spices (not too many though, she needs those to make money with!) In all seriousness, she’s a pirate, at the very least she likely knows how to make things edible if she gets stuck somewhere.

Charles Babbage: Modern English Servant, enough said.

Nursery Rhyme: Not counting her as she’s a child based on fairy tales, and is only English by technicality.

Shakespear: Even if he could, he wouldn’t because he’d enjoy seeing you try to stomach the tragedy that is this meal.

Jack the Ripper: Uh, no, I do not think the aggregation of dead children who never had mothers know how to cook.

Florence Nightingale: Cooking food keeps you from getting sick.

[montrealmadison]

t'étais réel parce qu'il t'aimait

or, “you were real because he loved you”

i work at a place that accepts children’s book donations, so when “the velveteen rabbit” came across my desk the other day, the beginnings of this popped into my head. then the lovely lau at @weneedtotalkaboutfic​ posted this and also this about ftm!bitty and my brain just took off! enjoy <3

“Has her fever gone down?”

Bitty blows out a long breath and twists around to look at the clock, on the off chance that it’ll give him a better answer than the truth—but all it tells him is that it’s 8:07, and he’s exhausted.

“No.” He pins the phone between his cheek and his shoulder so he can dry his hands. “Hasn’t budged all day.”

On the other end, his mama hums sympathetically. “It will, baby. Y’all are doin’ everything right.”

“Thanks,” he sighs, folding the dishtowel over the oven handle. “It’s just—I hate that she’s so uncomfortable.”

Bitty used to think that he’d made his peace with chaos. He’s moved schools, changed sports, reinvented himself half a hundred times. He’s come out on national television and transitioned publicly on the Internet. He’s written a book, is in the process of drafting another. He’s married to one of the most prominent NHL players in the league, for crying out loud.

But sick toddlers, Bitty is learning, are a whole other hockey game.

read more below or on ao3

Thankfully, at least the kitchen routine is muscle memory at this point: pots dried, dishwasher started, dog fed and watered for the night. The mess in here isn’t too bad, all things considered. He checks the lock on the back door and then lets himself sag against the counter, just a little. It’s been a day. A week, really. He's barely slept for the stress of it all.

“Dicky, honey, you sound like you need a break.” He can picture the frown on his mama’s face when she says it. Funny how her voice still feels like a hug from seven states away. “How’s Jack? Is he alright?”

“Mhm,” he says. “Upstairs puttin’ Ellie to bed, bless him.”

“Good. Well, listen, y’all call anytime if you need us, alright? Your daddy and I will be up, we’re goin’ to the Callahans’.”

“Ooh. Save the good gossip for me?”

“You know I will,” Mama promises with a laugh. “Now go on and sit down for me. I love you.”

“Yes, ma’am. Love you too,” Bitty says, almost absently, and flops onto the couch as the line clicks into silence.

He tries to relax—promise, he really does—but he only makes it about five minutes before the worry wins out and he has to get up again. He just can’t sit still today, especially when he hasn’t heard anything from upstairs in so long. He climbs the stairs and starts down the hall towards Giselle’s room, but pauses and peeks around the doorframe at the soft sound of Jack’s voice.

In the dim light, he can just make out Jack’s giant form carefully folded to fit into Ellie’s bed, one foot planted firmly on the floor to keep him balanced. Bitty presses a hand over his mouth, trying to resist the sudden urge to laugh at the sight of his husband trying to fit in a bed made for a toddler. Thankfully, it works, because neither Jack nor Giselle notice him—their daughter’s curled up next to her papa, tired and sleep-soft, with her flushed little face on Jack’s chest and her slow-blinking eyes fixed on the book in his hands.

The dog’s on the floor in here, too, tail thumping away against the carpet. He huffs, looks up at Bitty with big, understanding eyes as if to say: We got it in here.

Which is clearly the case—they’re already in the middle of a story. Jack is reading in soft, measured tones: “And when the Boy dropped off to sleep, the Rabbit would snuggle down close under his little warm chin and dream, with the Boy's hands clasped close round him all night long.”

It's the French translation, but Bitty feels himself melt almost immediately. He’d recognize The Velveteen Rabbit anywhere. It’d been his favorite as a baby, part of the reason his mama had come home one day with Señor Bun, and—well, the rest is Bittle family history. He leans in the doorway, closes his eyes and drifts while Jack reads.

He’s had a lot of time, now, to learn the differences between French Jack and English Jack, and why each language is important to him—especially where teaching his children is concerned. In French, his voice is softer, lilting, expressive in a way that transfixes Giselle and Bitty alike. Bitty himself has fallen asleep to the sound of that voice many times, and is mostly impressed that Ellie can still fight her own exhaustion just to listen a little longer.

Jack turns the page, and Bitty watches as his face and his voice soften with emotion at the next line: “And then, one day, the Boy was ill.”

Oh. Bitty remembers this part well, too—remembers the feeling of his own mama curled around him when he was sick as a kid. Remembers Coach’s shadow in the doorway, his quieter concern, his gentle hand on Bitty’s shoulder. Jack goes on: “But the Rabbit snuggled down patiently, and looked forward to the time when the Boy should be well again, and they would go out in the garden amongst the flowers and the butterflies and play splendid games in the raspberry thicket like they used to.”

Bitty remembers Señor Bun, equally patient, snuggled up under his chin, and has an idea. He backs quietly out of the room and retreats down the hall to their bedroom, where the bunny himself is propped on the pillows, waiting for them to come to bed. Bittly inhales the familiar scent of the fabric, looks into his bright embroidered eyes. He swears they look understanding somehow.

“You ready to work your magic, buddy?” he asks. “Let’s go.”

Jack does notice him this time, eyes crinkling in acknowledgment when he sees Bitty in the doorway. His voice is getting softer now, the words slowing in time with Giselle’s blinks, and Bitty crosses the room to lay Señor Bun in their daughter’s arms.

Neither of them move until they’re sure that Giselle is asleep at last; even then, Jack extracts himself from the bed as quietly as possible, smoothes the covers over her with a feather-light touch. When they meet in the hallway, Jack presses his face into Bitty’s neck. They stand there in the quiet, breathing together, for a long time.

“How is she?” Bitty finally asks.

“Hot,” Jack says, frowning. “I gave her another Tylenol.”

Bitty sighs deep, presses his forehead into Jack’s chest. “Mm, okay. Let’s hope she kicks this soon.”

“She will,” says Jack. “She’s our kid, that’s gotta count for something, right?”

“Oh, yeah.” Despite himself, Bitty finds that a smile comes easily enough. It always does with Jack’s reassurance. “Gotta be tough in this family.”

Jack laughs lightly. “Yeah.”

They retreat to their bedroom, turning off lights as they go. Their nighttime routine, too, is as comfortable as breathing now. When Bitty comes back from brushing his teeth, he finds Jack in bed, reading glasses on, still flipping through The Velveteen Rabbit.

“I’m glad you picked that one for her,” says Bitty slowly. “That was my favorite book as a kid.”

Jack turns it over in his hands, looks up at Bitty with warmth in his eyes. “This one?” he asks, smiling. “That explains Señor Bun, eh?”

“Yeah.” Bitty has to swallow around a sudden lump in his throat, and almost immediately finds himself blinking back hot tears. He bites his lip. “Well, and I, um—no, it’s stupid.”

“Bits?” says Jack, concerned. He closes the book and sits up. “Hey, no it’s not. Why else was it important?”

Bitty looks down. “I used to want to be Real,” he says, all in a rush. “Just like the Rabbit. Used to wish there’d be a fairy that would see how unhappy I was, and come and—oh, Lord—”

It’s like a switch flips in his brain; all of a sudden he’s crying in earnest, days of pent-up stress and fear rushing past the floodgates at once. Jack makes a soft sound and holds Bitty close, letting him cry it out, rocking him just a little. His hands are big and warm on Bitty’s back.

“Shh, bud, hey,” he says. “That’s not stupid at all.”

Bitty sniffles and scrubs at his eyes, lets out a burst of slightly hysterical laughter. “I—God. I don’t know what it is, I was looking at you and Ellie and—I don't know, I just wish the person I was when I first read it could see me now. I wish that little kid hadn’t had to go through all the shit I did to get here.”

Jack doesn’t say anything at first, just pulls back a little. Bitty looks up, confused—but Jack’s just reaching behind him to grab the book off his nightstand, flipping through it until he finds the page he wants. Then he puts an arm back around Bitty’s shoulders and pulls him close, kisses his temple.

“Generally,” he reads, in English this time, “by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”

He fixes Bitty with those bottomless blue eyes. "I hope you'll let me keep telling you," he says slowly, "that it all meant something, bud. You made yourself real. You gave us our daughter."

Bitty laughs, watery. "I did."

"You did." Jack kisses him again, soft and full of meaning. "And I promise I'll never stop trying to understand."

[a-heist-of-words]

Y'know, this whole thing with Fjord's decision reminds me of the musical "Into the Woods".

If you haven't seen it, it's a mish-mash of fairy tales and, at one point, the Giantess from Jack and the Beanstalk threatens to pancake the entire kingdom unless they surrender Jack to her, presumably because she wants to kill Jack as revenge for killing her Giant Husband.

Of course, no one wants to give the boy to the Giantess, except for the Witch. She sees what must be done for the greater good (the greater good) of the kingdom, but the others don't let her.

So she tells them: you're not good, you're not bad, you're just nice. I'm not good, I'm not nice, I'm just right.

Fjord's choice? It wasn't good (it slides into lawful neutral territory here, into being a soldier and a captain and having to carry the burden of sacrifices made in a delicate game of chess), it isn't nice (I have seen so many people calling him an asshole because of it and at face value it is a deeply selfish choice but the Nein are famous for those).

But I do believe it was the right choice.

It resulted in their enemies being more than 50% dead.

The two left standing? We don't know how hurt they are, how many spells they've spent.

Heck, for all we know, some of the rangers (who knew that this was a dangerous place and a dangerous job in the first place) might be alive. [and even if they're not, this is a game after all, a space to safely explore high stakes with no IRL consequences].

The MN now have a more even chance at winning this war, even if the battle resulted in casualties. The outcome of this war could decide the fate of their entire world.

And it was all because Captain Fjord "Tusktooth" Stone had the... well, the stones, to not be good. To not be nice. To just be right.

[twstgameplay]

Hi octa mods, I hope you guys aren't busy and late for submission. I need your help with the current event exams especially void and Omni basic. Only Union Silver, Tsum Riddle, Union Silver, DW Deuce Halloween Riddle, bday Lilia and Union Leona are not maxed buddy and magic. Their buddies are level 5 except for DW Deuce and bday Lilia as 2 of his buddies are maxed out. I have all the lab coat, ceremonial robe, all the welfare cards except the Harveston ones, Chef Riddle, malleus, trey, deuce and kalim, beans rook, DW Ortho, new year deuce, Halloween trey,ace, Ruggie,jack and Lilia, fairy gala Jamil and ace, tsum Floyd and cater. SSR magic level are at least level 6 and up except for union Leona and Union Silver which is 5. My SR magic and buddies are 5 , their levels are 40 ish(still grinding for that exp potions). My score in fire defense is 17896, water defense is 17669, flora basic is 18245, void basic is 16143 and Omni basic is 17642. My total score is around 87595. Which of these test can I improve? Please and thank you

Hello!

Looking at your cards, you can definitely boost all of them except maybe Cosmic for now. I am not sure if I understood right, but from your explanation, most of your SSRs aside from the ones you listed in the beginning are maxed out in terms of buddies and magic, which if they are, that’s great! All you need to work on now are their card levels.

Fire Defense

I have a few recommendations for this one. My main advice to you would be to level up Dorm Azul here (and no, I’m not biased for once 🥰).

Team 1

Dorm Trey

Dorm Azul

Dorm Jade

Lab Idia

SUPPORT: Dorm Trey

You have three healers: Azul and both Treys. Idia boosts their HP as well. Jade boosts Azul’s ATK stat, and Azul boosts Jade’s HP stat. Trey also boosts Jade’s ATK. Both Azul and Idia are double Water cards, so they also help you in tanking.

Save the Flora magic of both Treys for last turn, but be sure that the leftover HP by that point is around 1k or lower so you don’t have to get struck down on a weak element. The other thing to worry about is should you max out the card levels of Azul and Jade, be wary of the possibility that you might kill on turn 4 since Azul and Jade get boosted. I think you’ll be safe, but just a word of caution.

Team 2

Dorm Azul

Tsum Riddle

Silk Cater

Dorm Trey

SUPPORT: Dorm Azul or Dorm Trey

4 healers! You also have Silk Cater who gives a medium HP boost to Riddle and Trey. Azul gets HP boost from Riddle as well. Your choice of support depends on how much damage you need to bring down the opponent HP by turn 5. Double Dorm Azul is more optimal for this test than double Dorm Trey since it’s more Water magic, but if you do raise your Azul, there is the possibility that you might kill too fast despite activating 0 duos and buffs because double Azul is that strong. I think as long as Tsum Riddle’s magic isn’t maxed out, you can safely use two Dorm Azuls. If not, you can go with Dorm Trey.

Water Defense

For this one, I suggest you level up Birthday Malleus or DW Deuce, whichever you’re more willing to do.

Dorm Trey

Halloween Cater

Birthday Malleus/DW Deuce

DW Idia

SUPPORT: Dorm Trey

Both Treys get their HP boosts from Cater and Idia. If you choose to go with Birthday Malleus, Malleus gives HP boost to Cater, and he also gets a HP boost from Idia. His duo partner is also Idia. If you choose to use DW Deuce, Deuce gives both Treys ATK boost and receive an ATK+HP boost from Idia as well as a HP boost from Trey.

Between Birthday Malleus and DW Deuce, assuming maxed out levels, I’d say Deuce has more chances of bringing down the HP of the opponents enough that you can kill by first attack T5. But it seems like it’d be easier for you to raise Malleus, so the option is there for you.

Flora Basic

Dorm Riddle

Robe/Lab Azul

Halloween Cater

Dorm Jack

SUPPORT: Dorm Riddle

This team has 3 duos, Riddle -> Azul, Riddle (support) -> Azul, and Cater -> Jack. The Dorm Riddles are the most vital to the team, so Azul and Cater are there to bring out their full power. Jamil’s heal in this test is pretty generous, so killing too early won’t be too big of an issue. Depends too on what Azul you choose to bring. Robe Azul deals a lot more damage than Lab Azul assuming both are Lv.80 5/5 magic. If you need more power, choose Robe Azul. If you need less power, choose Lab Azul.

If you’re brave enough, you can go for Dorm Azul as well. It brings your team up to 4 duos. Even if it’s a weak duo, it’s still a duo, and the weakness might actually help you even more should you have an issue with killing too early.

Omni Basic

Honestly, this test is just rng, so hopefully you might get an even better result with whatever current team you’re using.

I can recommend two teams you can try out in the meantime.

Team 1

Dorm Riddle

Dorm Azul

Dorm Leona/Halloween Silver

Robe Vil

SUPPORT: Dorm Leona

4 duos here, Riddle -> Azul, Azul -> Riddle, Leona -> Vil, and depending on who you choose, either another Leona -> Vil or Silver -> Leona. Your finishing duo should be your strongest Leona because he’s the one who gets his ATK boosted thanks to Vil.

I’d personally recommend using double Dorm Leona because there are more Water elements than Flora in the exam itself. However, it’s really up to you and your rng at this point. Feel free to experiment.

Team 2

Dorm Riddle

Dorm Azul

Any Lilia (preferably Birthday)

Dorm Epel

SUPPORT: Dorm Rook

Like the other team, this one has 4 duos. The difference is that instead of Dorm Leona, you have Dorm Rook as your finisher. Lilia boosts Rook’s ATK, so he’s important. Birthday Lilia is preferable because he duos with Rook, adding a 5th duo to the team. But if you already have another Lilia card that’s more leveled up than Birthday Lilia, then go ahead and use that Lilia.

The only thing I’d warn you about is that there aren’t many Flora spells, so you really have to pray that rng works for you here.

Hope these all help!

~ 🐙

[britishassistant]

The Villainous Paranoiac Just Wants An Uneventful Holiday (Part 1)

This is not how you wanted to spend your break.

The school was supposed to be empty. Everyone except the Octavinelle trio was supposed to be gone.

Not to say you don’t enjoy your friends’ company but. No magic-using people means no magic-spewing overblots.

You were looking forward to just bringing the fairies their firewood and working on your winter homework while taking the first opportunity in a good long while to unwind with Grim and the ghosts. No investigations to worry about, no weird dreams to get worked up over, no overblots to frantically try and survive.

You wanted a break.

This? Marching 10km into the desert with the rest of Scarabia dorm for the third day in a row due to their leader’s looming psychotic breakdown? This is not a break.

Although...

There’s definetely something rotten in Scarabia dorm, you think to yourself as you watch Viper-senpai hand out skeins of water. Kalim-senpai had no problem using his unique magic yesterday, and yet today he acted like Grim had mortally insulted him when he asked for a repeat performance.

If the outburst had been after two or three other instances of Kalim-senpai using Oasis Maker and receiving what he felt were insufficient thanks for it, then his current attitude would make a little more sense. But taking umbrage after using it just once? And being universally praised by everyone else the rest of the day for it?

It doesn’t add up.

Even deranged behavior has some sort of internal logic to it, as Rosehearts-senpai and the Rules of the Queen of Hearts have taught you. Even with how nonsensical all 810 rules are, it’s rare to find a scenario where one rule actually conflicts with another— all of them usually work smoothly in tandem with the goal of having an orderly unbirthday party in mind.

Even if they do violate most forms of dignity and common sense.

Kalim-senpai’s behavior though? It’s erratic without rhyme or reason, bouncing from nice to mean and back again seemingly as he enters and exits a room. He insists you and Grim stay and participate in this asinine “training”, despite the fact that you both belong to a different dorm, and are technically rivals to Scarabia in Magift and exams.

If you didn’t know better, you’d say it’s almost like he’s trying to imitate Rosehearts-senpai before his overblot—and doing poorly at it.

And with how much Viper-senpai has been invoking parallels between the current situation and what happened back then...

The smartphone Crowley gave you is a cold, heavy weight in your pocket. Its charge ran out yesterday, which is unsurprising given how many times you dialed and redialed the dumb bird headmaster’s number only to be met with his voicemail. You can probably recite that stupid message by heart now. You’ve heard nothing from Ace and Deuce either.

One thing is clear; no one’s going to help you out of this mess but you.

“Kalim-senpai?” You brace yourself as you step towards him. “Can I ask you something?”

“What could you possibly question me about?” He barks, glaring down at you haughtily.

“Well, I was just wondering, what’s the point of all this?” You fight to keep your nerve as his posture stiffens. “I don’t mean any disrespect, none at all, but you do want everyone to do better in Magift and exams, don’t you? I was hoping you could explain to me how the parades and defensive magic training are supposed to do that. I apologize for my ignorance, I’m nowhere near as smart as you, but could you please tell me why we don’t just practice Magift and brush up on the class material inst—”

Your head’s ringing.

You think you hear faint yelling, though it sounds like it’s coming from somewhere far away.

Your cheek aches.

Numbness blooming into a sharp stinging throb that feels like it’s growing with every second that passes, burning hotter than the sun above you.

You cautiously poke your tongue against your teeth, but none feel loose, thank the Seven.

Damn, the desperate, near-hysterical thought flits through your head. Even a pampered rich boy like him has strength behind his hits, huh?

The rest of you is just trying to process what the Hell just happened.

“How. Dare. You?!”

Asim-sama looms over you, red eyes burning with fury.

It’s a fight to keep yourself from curling into a terrified ball under his gaze, tucking into yourself as though seeing less of you would abate the anger, the shouting, the hurt, like you used to when you were a child.

“You dare to question my methods, my leadership of this dorm?! You? A sniveling street rat leeching off my hospitality?! Do you know who I am?!” He rages. “I am Kalim al-Asim! I am the Head of this dorm! I don’t have to explain ANYTHING, justify ANYTHING to the likes of you!!”

You knew, you knew you were pushing your luck when you first asked, but you thought it would just be yelling, like it was before. You can handle yelling, nothing Asim-sama can say could ever be worse than what you’ve already heard.

You didn’t think he’d hit you.

You didn’t think he’d hit you.

You didn’t think—

“DON'T YOU TOUCH MY MINION, FGNAH!”

Your arm whips out almost on instinct.

You jolt forward slightly as Grim collides with it, hissing and spitting like he really was an irate cat, the flames in his ears flaring brightly enough that some detached part of you is worried about getting burned.

The other Scarabia students are reaching for their magic pens.

“Lemme at ‘im! Lemme at ‘im!!” Your friend howls, fighting to get past you. “Forget butt on fire, I’ll BURN IT TO A CRISP FOR HURTING MY MINION!! I'LL STEAL EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AND SELL IT FOR LUXURY TUNA!! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR CROSSING THE GREAT GRIM—”

“No, Grim.”

Your friend halts in his flailing to stare uncomprehendingly at you. “But Yuu—!”

“It was my fault.” You say, trying to keep as much emotion out of your voice as possible. Tears and trembling only show weakness, only make them worse. “Asim-sama was just correcting me. He was right to do so. I shouldn’t have questioned him. I overstepped my bounds.”

Asim-sama sniffs. “At least you know your place. Be glad I don’t punish you anymore than this.”

“What?! He slapped you for asking a question, you can’t possibly believe—” You gather Grim into your arms and hug him close. You quietly thank the Great Seven you at least have him, trying to hide the quiver in your limbs by burying your face in his fur.

But that’s exactly why you can’t let him do this. It’s just the two of you, you can’t win against an entire dorm of wizards like you did against the ghosts. Maybe if Ace and Deuce and Jack were here...but it’s just you. You need to protect your friend in the only way you can. “We can’t win this. Please, Grim.”

You feel him grumble, then a paw carefully pushes at your forehead. “Hrm...I’ll show mercy for now, so geroff already. It’s too hot for you to keep hugging me like this, I’m cooking here fgnah.”

Despite saying so, he settles onto your shoulder, tail smacking your arm as it flicks irritably.

“If you’ll excuse me, Asim-sama.” You duck your head slightly. “I will remove myself from your sight and head back early as penance for my behavior. Once again, my deepest apologies for insulting you.”

Asim-sama gives you a curt, dismissive nod.

You turn and make your way through the crowd of Scarabia students, snatches of muttered conversations floating to your ears.

“How could he—?”

“Just for a question?”

“Isn’t that going too far...?”

“Unforgivable...”

“Prefect.” Viper-senpai takes you by the shoulder, turning you to face him. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” You reply monotonously, eyes on the sand below you. “Just...just need to be by myself for a bit.”

His lips purse and you can feel him study your face. He presses a full water skein into your hands. “Take this. Even if it’s not as cold as I’d like, it should help with the swelling some. Plus you need to stay hydrated out there.”

“Thank you, Viper-senpai.” You nod, keeping your eyes down.

“And Prefect?” He squeezes your shoulder, voice lowering only a fraction. “I am truly sorry about this. All of this. It will not happen again, you have my word.”

It would’ve been a nice apology, had you not caught a glimpse of a smirk on his face.

You nod, making sure not to outwardly react to that or to the way the whispers of the other Scarabia students turn from the condemnation of their dorm head to the exaltation of the vice dorm head. You begin following the tracks in the sand back to the main dorm.

The sun beats down on your back as you take a swig from the skein and pass it to Grim to drink from. He’s still grumbling about how you should’ve let him recreate his rampage at the entrance ceremony.

For your part, the distance and good company have let you pull yourself out of that headspace enough that you can try and look back objectively on what happened.

Your mind keeps circling back around to one question: why did Asim-senpai hit you?

Based on your interactions before this, Asim-senpai doesn’t seem to be the type to resort to physical violence as a first response, or even a last one. Which means something in your question likely backed him into a corner enough that the normally pacifistic dorm head felt lashing out physically was the only way to get you to stop.

...Like the fact that he couldn’t answer it?

Even when screaming abuse at you, his ultimate response was that he wouldn’t explain himself to you. Is that because he didn’t want to? Or because he couldn’t? Does Asim-senpai himself not know the reasons behind his own actions? But how can someone act without knowing or meaning to, without being under the influence somehow?

Under the influence.

People acted without knowing or meaning to thanks to being under the influence of Buchie-senpai’s Unique Magic during the Magift incident. But he went home, you saw him leave, so what...?

You pull out your notebook, flipping through the pages with sweaty hands until you get to your records of the testimonies from the incident. You scan through the testimonies from Scarabia students, hoping to find something, anything—

Oh.

Oh.

“Motherfucker.” You hiss, staring at the page in dismay. You are an idiot. You are the biggest idiot, you make Deuce look like a genuis, how could you forget about this?? It was only the key testimony that helped pinpoint Buchie-senpai and Savannahclaw as the culprits behind the injuries. And it explains so much— why you kept agreeing to stay here despite wanting to go back to Ramshackle so desperately, almost like your mouth was speaking without your consent.

“Minion?” Grim asks, pushing the water skein back onto you. “What’s wrong?”

You snap your notebook shut and slide it back into your pocket, taking another fortifying swig from the skein. “Grim? Think we can get back soon enough to work on the escape route in our room before the others arrive back for lunch?”

“If we pick up the pace a bit, yeah.” He hops back onto your shoulder. “But what’s the rush? We have all night tonight to work on it.”

“Let’s just say the sooner we can get out of here, the better.” You mutter, cogs and gears turning in your head as a tentative plan begins to form.

This is not how you wanted to spend your winter break.

[carewyncromwell]

Another addition to the Peter Pan AU concept I’ve done some stuff for...this time with Wendy!Carewyn as a ten-year-old, when she first met the shadow belonging to the Boy Who Never Grew Up, Orion Amari. 

It all started when back in Neverland, Orion was called out to a private meeting with a pirate solely called Jack, who deliberately kept the meeting quiet from both the Captain he served and the rest of his pirate crew. He was the youngest of Captain Hook’s crewmembers, and yet still far too much of an adult for Orion to ever take into his ranks -- but it was what the pirate requested that so intrigued the eternal 12-½-year old. It seemed that even though Neverland had done its work and made Jack forget just about all of his previous life, including his real name, there was someone outside of Neverland who Jack did still remember...and that person was someone he now implored Orion to protect. 

“Her name is Wyn. Or, at least, that’s the name I have...I feel like there was more to that name, once. The rest of the crew calls her ‘Winnie’ sometimes, but I don’t think that’s fully it either. Regardless...I know Hook wants to capture her, like he did me, and I...I don’t want her here, with him. I don’t want her to become a pirate. But I don’t know where she is, except that she’s in London. And as long as I’m stuck with Hook, I...I can’t protect her. So I’m asking you to find her first. She’s younger than me -- much younger, with ginger hair -- small and sweet as a cherub. She’s brave and sharp and she sings like a bird. She’d fit right in with your sort -- no one would have any idea she has anything to do with me. Just...spirit her away, like Hook did me. Take her with you, and keep her safe here, in Neverland. She doesn’t need to know I’m here, or even why you took her, just...just keep her away from Hook. Please.”

Orion cocked his eyebrows. 

“And what will you give me in return?”

The pirate called Jack looked lost for words. His hollowed-out blue eyes -- so like Captain Hook’s and skull-like, even upon such a pale, handsome face -- rippled with desperation. 

“Anything,” he whispered. “Anything.”

Orion’s black eyes grew a little smaller, examining the pirate critically. He’d never heard anyone, let alone a pirate, express that amount of caring about another person before. He looked after his Lost Kids, of course, so long as they chose to not grow up -- led them on adventures and told them what to do...but not even the fairies who had first brought him to Neverland ever expressed such...well, selflessness, before. It intrigued Orion enough to decide that maybe he would look out for this “Wyn” -- maybe she could be something useful, if Hook had such interest in her. And if she were still a child, then maybe she’d make a decent Lost Kid. 

Orion flew around London off-and-on for about an Earth year (which felt more like a week or so, in Neverland), keeping an eye open for this girl called Wyn. It was the ginger hair that helped, as one day a mane of ginger hair caught his eye, and he followed it home to an entire ginger-haired family -- a poor clan called the Weasleys. 

The mane of ginger hair Orion had seen belonged to the eldest of the Weasley children, a twelve-year-old named Bill, who had just finished up with his job as a newsboy, making deliveries for a late-night newspaper route. After he bounced his infant sister Ginny up and down in his lap for a while to make her stop fussing, he immediately set about telling his younger brothers -- Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, and Ron -- all about his (in Orion’s opinion) perfectly boring day. Orion took stock around the room and, after seeing nothing but boys, was about ready to give up and look somewhere else when Bill asked his brothers about where someone named “Carey” was. The second-eldest brother Charlie responded with a mischievous smile.

“Just give a listen, and you'll know.”

And when everyone quieted, Orion likewise saw what Charlie meant. A voice was singing from somewhere upstairs -- a song that Orion had never heard, and yet contained a word he never would’ve ever thought he’d hear in London --

“Neverland.”

Immediately interested, Orion flew up toward the upstairs window, which had been left ajar. Somewhere in the next room, he heard the little bird-like voice singing, only being able to make out some select words. 

“When there’s a smile in your heart...there’s no better time to start...”

The voice was moving down the hall. Orion felt the urge to try to sneak inside the house, but the girl’s singing being interrupted by a woman’s more maternal speaking voice made Orion falter, hiding just out of sight beside the window. It was Mrs. Weasley, Bill’s mother, telling the girl -- Carewyn -- to go ahead and leave the rest of the mending for tomorrow, since it was almost time for supper.

Carewyn, Orion realized as he heard the little girl dash away down the stairs. The pirate called Jack had said there was more to the name he remembered, once. “Wyn” had to have once been “Carewyn.”

Unfortunately for Orion, although he himself was hidden beside the window, his shadow, cast in the light of the streetlamps down onto the window ledge, was not -- and Mrs. Weasley, startled at what looked like something peeking into their window, immediately rushed over and shut it. Orion, alarmed himself at the abrupt slamming of the window, tore off into the night -- leaving his shadow trapped between the closed window and the sill. 

It wasn’t until that evening, when Carewyn, Charlie, and Bill were getting ready for bed that Carewyn caught an odd squeaking sound coming from the window of the bedroom she shared with Bill and Charlie. It was, as it turned out, Orion’s shadow, which -- after Mrs. Weasley had left -- had started contorting and writhing in an attempt to escape from its place trapped under the windowpane. Upon finding the window locked for some strange reason, Carewyn enlisted Bill’s help in undoing the latch -- as soon as the shadow was free, he catapulted around the room, flying all over the walls with reckless abandon and stumbling over the shadow of everything in the room, even slapping the walls as if looking for something. Charlie and Bill both tried to catch it before the noise it made could alert their parents or younger siblings -- Charlie finally managed to snag his ankle when he jumped up high enough on his bed and yanked the shadow down with all of his strength so that Bill could grab onto him too. Carewyn, who’d refrained from trying to grab the shadow largely out of the desire not to hurt it, instead tried to reassure him. 

“It’s terrified, can’t you see that?” she cried at Charlie and Bill at one point. “Why, a shadow isn’t meant to be completely alone -- and in a house full of strangers, no less!”

“It was stuck in our window, Carey,” said Charlie rather dryly. “I reckon we’re past being ‘strangers.’”

“Well, I’ve certainly never seen him before, nor the person he belongs to!” huffed Carewyn. 

Despite Carewyn’s instinct to coddle him, the Shadow Without an Owner was indeed too wild to be left to its own devices. Throughout that night and into the next morning, the shadow kept darting around the room, crashing into different shadows that in turn made the objects attached to them wobble or even fall over. At one point he even knocked over and almost broke the old table lamp by the armchair. It made all three children worry that the shadow was going to get them in a lot of trouble, when Mr. and Mrs. Weasley found it -- but at the same time, all three of them weren’t sure if they wanted to share him with the two adults in the house. The shadow seemed incredibly reluctant to be seen, disappearing completely from view whenever Mr. or Mrs. Weasley popped up. 

“He’s afraid of them,” said Carewyn, her voice full of empathy and concern.

Bill tried to offer the shadow a reassuring smile. “Aw, now, you really don’t have to be...Mum and Dad are great! I’m sure they’d be happy to help you, if you -- ”

But the Shadow Without an Owner stubbornly crossed his arms and settled himself down on top of the shadow of Charlie’s headboard with his legs and arms both crossed. He was not going to accept help from any grown-ups. 

It was soon decided that Carewyn would look after the shadow while Bill was on his newsboy route and Charlie was at the canning factory. Since Mr. Weasley would be at work and Mrs. Weasley would be largely kept busy with two-year-old Ron and one-year-old Ginny, it was generally Percy and Carewyn’s responsibility to look after Fred and George and help Mrs. Weasley with the chores. And since Carewyn knew there was a lot of mending still to do, she decided she could take all of it upstairs and work on it in her, Charlie, and Bill’s room so that she could keep an eye on the Shadow Without an Owner. 

The shadow -- who Carewyn had started just calling “Shadow,” since she didn’t know its owner’s name -- was quite restless, being stuck in one room the whole day. It kept skipping across the tiny bedroom, fluttering from the windowsill to the wall and back. It was peculiar to Carewyn that this shadow seemed to have no sense of gravity -- she had heard plenty of stories from her mother about an island where people could fly with a single thought, but she was sensible enough of a child to presume they were only stories, meant to cheer people up where they were sad. 

Eventually Carewyn felt enough pity for the restlessly fidgeting Shadow that she offered to sing him a song or two, to help pass the time.

“I like to sing whenever I’m doing my chores for Mrs. Weasley,” she explained. “I don’t know if you’ll like it, but...maybe it might cheer you up, since you’re stuck inside?”

To her surprise, Shadow seemed immediately interested. He skipped over the shadows of all three of the children’s beds over to the shadow of the armchair next to her. It hovered on the wall over the chair for a moment before it flopped down onto its stomach on top of the armchair’s shadow, its focus down toward her. 

Smiling despite herself, Carewyn started to sing for Shadow.

“Think of a wonderful thought -- any merry little thought... Think of Christmas -- think of snow --  Think of sleigh bells...off you go, Like reindeer in the sky... You can fly! You can fly! You can fly!”

Shadow seemed captivated. He actually crossed his translucent arms and leaned his head down on them to listen, his feet absently kicking behind him, while Carewyn sang as she sewed. When Carewyn was done with one song, she’d start another, and Shadow would listen to all of them. The ones he seemed to like best, though, were the ones her mother Lane had taught her and Jacob, so long ago. The ones about that beautiful, make-believe land that had once captivated her and Jacob’s dreams. 

Carewyn put down the blanket she’d finished patching up to look up at Shadow. His hands were clasped together as he watched her. Although he had no eyes or expression, Carewyn sensed he was considering her carefully.

“You like the songs about Neverland, don’t you?” she asked him at last. 

Shadow nodded. 

“My mum taught them to me,” Carewyn explained. “She used to sing them for my brother Jacob and me, when we were little...and then Jacob used to sing them for me, after Mum...”

The memory of her mother sick in the hospital, and of Jacob squeezing her tight in his shaking arms in a vain attempt to shield her from her grief, made Carewyn’s heart hurt. She brushed the end of her sentence away and put on her bravest face. 

“Bill and Charlie like them too,” she said pleasantly. “Percy, Fred and George too, though Percy tries to act like they’re silly, sometimes. And Fred and George are kind of like you -- they’re more the sorts to want to get into mischief than just stay quietly indoors.”

She giggled behind her hand. 

“Ginny likes them too... though I reckon it’s just because she likes attention, period, at the moment -- being a baby.”

Shadow seemed a little restless again. Carewyn surmised that he was losing interest -- but, she supposed, considering he couldn’t properly talk, conversations were bound to be less engaging for him. 

“Mum had this pretty lullaby she used to sing for Jacob and me,” she offered. “She said she forgot the real words a long time ago, but the melody stayed with her enough that she sang it anyway. Do you want to hear it?”

Shadow’s head popped up, interested again, and he nodded. Carewyn took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Maybe if she dreamed hard enough, she could hear her mother’s voice, singing it too...

“Once upon a time and long ago, I heard someone singing soft and low. Now, when day is done and night is near, I recall a song I used to hear -- ‘My child, my very own, Don't be afraid -- you're not alone... Sleep until the dawn, for all is well.’ Long ago, this song was sung to me... Now it's just a distant melody, Somewhere from the past I used to know, Once upon a time and long ago...”

Shadow actually seemed to settle down, leaning his head down on his folded arms again. When she was finished, he stayed still for a long time -- so long, in fact, that she thought maybe he’d fallen asleep. After several minutes, though, Carewyn realized that Shadow was actually hugging himself tighter, hiding his face under his arms. 

“Shadow?” said Carewyn, concerned.

Shadow raised his head, looking right at her. Once again Carewyn got the feeling he was examining her closely. Then, hovering weightlessly down off the armchair, it settled itself down on the wall behind her beside her shadow, crossing his legs and holding his own hands. 

Carewyn tilted her head, looking over the shadow with pity in her eyes. 

“...You feel lonely,” she murmured, “don’t you?”

Shadow didn’t answer. His focus was down on his clasped hands. 

Taking the lack of response as good enough of one, Carewyn adjusted her knees under her, smoothing out the skirt of her one nice dress, and looked up at the ceiling. 

“It’s okay if you do,” she said softly. “Everybody feels lonely sometimes. And...well, I s’pose being without your person must be very sad. I’ve never been without my shadow.”

Her eyes grew a little smaller and sadder.

“But...I do know what missing someone feels like...it feels awful.”

Shadow didn’t move. Considering her own shadow on the wall and then Shadow carefully, Carewyn tentatively brought a hand out so that her shadow’s hand ended up on top of Shadow’s clasped hands in his lap.

Shadow immediately bolted up off the ground in alarm, hovering in mid-air over her. It felt like he was staring. Carewyn likewise tensed up when he quickly retreated. 

“I’m sorry!” she said at once. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

Shadow put his hands on his hips, almost looking faintly offended by the suggestion. He wasn’t frightened. Startled, maybe, but not frightened. 

Carewyn felt herself smiling wryly despite herself. “Well, you did kind of react like a scared cat, just now!”

Shadow’s hands clasped in front of him and he leaned forward, looking down upon the smaller girl with an almost snarky posture. 

Carewyn giggled behind her hand again. 

“I must wonder, Shadow -- is the person you belonged to as odd as you are?”

Despite the dryness of the question, her eyes betrayed some genuine fondness as she returned to her sewing. 

“Tender shepherd, tender shepherd...let me help you count your sheep...”

Somehow Carewyn managed to entertain Shadow that entire day until Bill, Charlie, and Mr. Weasley returned from work that evening. Shadow even managed to stay a bit more subdued afterwards, only knocking over one table before Bill, Charlie, and Carewyn came up to bed for the night. When Mrs. Weasley came into the room to bid them goodnight (and Shadow hid behind the armchair to avoid being seen), she once again latched the window, instructing Bill to leave it closed that night. She hadn’t told Bill about the strange shape she’d seen at the open window the previous night, for fear of frightening him, Charlie and Carewyn -- a decision with some logic behind it, though she regretted it for quite a while afterwards. 

Despite Mrs. Weasley’s words, however, Carewyn immediately got up and unlocked the window anyhow. 

“Shadow’s owner might come back looking for him!” said Charlie when Bill tried to argue the point. 

Carewyn nodded, shooting a look at Shadow, who had settled himself on the windowsill as if waiting. 

“Your mum said to keep it closed,” she said stubbornly. “She never said we had to keep it locked.”

And so Shadow waited patiently by the window as the three ginger-haired children slowly fell off to sleep. It was just after midnight that there was movement outside the window again, and the Shadow Without an Owner leapt up seeing his other half -- the Boy Without a Shadow -- on the other side of the glass. Flying beside Orion was a pink-eyed pixie with yellowish-green wings bathed in sparkling gold light. 

 Orion fixed his shadow with a faintly resigned expression. 

“You’re in a right pickle, aren’t you, my shadow?” he murmured.

Shadow’s shoulders fell noticeably as Merula shook her finger at him, her voice a huffy tinkling of bells. 

“You’d better not have let anyone see you!” she scolded.  

Orion reached out and gave the window a light pull. To his relief, it was unlocked, and he pulled it the rest of the way up so he and Merula could fly inside. 

Merula at once set about exploring the room, landing on a pile of folded, patched-up clothes next to a modest stack of old stuffed animals. 

“What a dump,” she scoffed. 

She gave a light kick to one of the teddy bear’s noses. The kick, however light, nonetheless was enough to bring the teddy bear down on her, making the fairy jingle in frustration. 

Orion idly lifted the teddy bear off of her without even looking at her, instead focusing on his shadow. Illuminated once again by the streetlamps outside the Weasley home, Shadow immediately darted further back into the room, hovering just over Carewyn’s bed and pointing frenetically. 

"I know,” said Orion. “That would be the ‘Wyn.’ The one who sings like a bird.”

Shadow settled himself down on top of Carewyn’s headboard, looking down at her as she slept. 

Orion frowned slightly upon his shadow. 

“...You like her, then?” he asked lowly. 

Shadow nodded. 

Merula crossed her arms huffily, looking down at the girl with active disdain. “Look at her, though! She’s got the wrinkles -- those of knowing solemn things. She’s way too old to take...” 

Orion took a few steps forward and considered the sleeping ginger-haired girl in the bed. 

She was indeed as small as the pirate called Jack had said -- smaller than her age would suggest, Orion thought. She already had these little wrinkles kissing the corners of her lips, and yet they were a peculiar kind of wrinkles. They weren’t wrinkles of age, per say -- instead there was something almost warm, about them...like the kind of wrinkles a well-loved teddy bear has. It didn’t make her look tired or resigned like so many adults did, but rather oddly resilient. The girl wasn’t smiling in her sleep, and yet she still slept peacefully. Her dreams no doubt weren’t as carefree as Orion would like -- but they were not the dreams of a grown-up, either. There was still some weightlessness there, especially since this family she was with wasn’t even hers. She’d still likely be able to fly...

“...She’ll do,” Orion said at last. 

“What?!” said Merula, taken aback. 

Orion’s voice was very lackadaisical, but his eye remained on Shadow, who seemed oddly pleased by his decision. He even brought a translucent hand down and -- very tentatively -- patted the top of the girl’s own shadow’s head. It was a gesture that made Merula look at him with bewilderment. 

“What are you doing, she’s not some little puppy dog for you to coddle!” she jingled at Shadow irritably. 

“Come now, my shadow,” Orion said stridently. “Must work out how to restore our balance, before we set about making our proposition to this ‘Carewyn.’”

Shadow quickly bolted up and away from the sleeping Carewyn, looking almost sheepish. Orion glanced around the room, before his eyes settled on a drawer. Striding over, he opened it and ruffled through its contents until he found a bunch of sewing supplies, including a collection of buttons. 

Aha. This might do.

Unfortunately buttons were indeed not what was needed, to properly restore a shadow. Orion tried to work them out several times, to no avail, but since the poor boy knew nothing about how buttons were fixed on to begin with, he couldn’t figure out how he could “button” his shadow to him the way two sides of a shirt could. Orion and Merula also tried several other things in the drawer, like some spare ribbon -- but since he naturally couldn’t tie his shadow securely enough to himself, he was left only with a bar of soap he found by the nearby basin, which he tried to use to stick his shadow on. 

After about an half-hour of failures, Orion was starting to get anxious. What if he never got his shadow back on? Would he be stuck without a shadow forever? Would he have to chase after his shadow forever, the way his shadow used to for him? Would his shadow even be able to follow him back to Neverland, if there were no lights that would maintain his form? Would he be trapped here in London forever -- in this house forever?

“Orion?” Merula tinkled uncomfortably. 

Orion actually found his eyes welling up with tears, though he tried to force them back. 

He didn’t know what to do -- what was he supposed to do...?

A very quiet gasp from the bed caught Orion’s attention. Stiffening like a cat, he shot to his feet, his black eyes very wide.

Sitting up in bed was the little ginger-haired girl called Carewyn. Her eyes were very wide, almond-shaped and china blue -- the same shade, Orion realized, as those of the pirates back in Neverland.

The same shade as Captain Hook’s eyes...

And yet those eyes welled up with so much compassion upon meeting Orion’s. 

“Oh,” she whispered, looking from the soap in his hand to up to his face. “Oh, please...please, boy, please don’t cry.”