#felt like going on a little rant again

[hyperfocuscentre]

trans people do not need to pass as cis before their identity/gender is taken seriously. sure, it’s great for some to be told that they pass, as it can feel amazing to be told you are seen the way you identify but that isn’t the case for all. some may prefer to be seen more feminine/masculine (just like cis people do) and that’s okay!! they should still be respected!! it’s the same for nonbinary folk and anyone that doesn’t fit as ‘man’ or ‘woman’, they don’t have to look androgynous or the way you expect them to.

[amelia-yap]

AUEGH

[bigmammallama5]

pulling a 12 hour shift at the wood kiln this weekend kinda set me back with my shoulder/neck trouble i've been having. but i did go to pt yesterday and we tried dry needling for the first time (two in my left trapezius, on the top near my neck) and what the fuck. i dont understand how that all works and usually approach it with a healthy amount of questioning but my muscle released and i feel so much better. i didnt hurt when i got up today lol other than im sore where i got stuck (and yes im still doing my exercises im gonna get a good grade in dont screw your body up)

(we also think that muscle is the culprit for my nerve tingling in my hand, that reacted during the procedure and has also since improved)

[swarnpert]

watching analysis videos about the newer 3d pokemon games (main series) and getting really depressed because like all games series nowadays it's about quantity over quality now and i know everyone is saying the same thing it's just very sad to see coming from probably my all time favorite game series

[imwritesometimes]

wouldn't it be funny if I could write again lollollol........

[da-proti-toku-grem]

feeling like a total asshole today 👍

[rosicheeks]

i do not know if i ever sent this to you. i have posted it. i hope you like it Princess.

[skhardwarevers1]

I can’t wait for the weather to get warmer,,

[deathdxnces]

"I've never killed a person... just a lot of Noxians."

in-game quotes can’t be taken literally etc, but I think this one is pretty spot on in how irelia sees noxians in general. they are never people she has irreconcilable differences with; they’re not people period. it’s very different from her stance on other enemies, such as the shadow order or the navori brotherhood. 

not seeing noxians as people is a mix of rage/resent and a coping mechanism after having to fight and kill them when she was really young (and coming from a background that preached non-violence in any situation, as well). she hates them enough that seeing them as something other than people comes easy, and seeing them like that makes it easier to fight and kill without (as much) guilt. dehumanization isnt uncommon in soldiers, and it definitely plays a part on why she doesn't feel the same grief towards the noxians she killed and the ionians, even if none of them were innocents.

when it comes to the enemies she has to face in her own homeland, from her own people, the situation is very different.  stains on a name shows her facing an ionian enemy who wants to kill her, but she talks to him first, apologizes for disappointing, and only really uses her blades when it’s clear the man would die before being captured. 

and in this case, she can’t stop seeing them as people. she doesn’t hate the navori brotherhood even after they try to have her killed, regardless of their differences. which is also why killing ionians, even in self-defense, is something that weighs a lot heavier on her. they are people, and they are her people, even if they tried to take her life. she feels very guilty for killing them, even in self defense — her hands are permanently stained with their blood, and it’s something she doesn’t think there’s absolution from.

facing her people, even the more... villainous of them, is never really something she enjoys. still, looking at fighting and killing in general, i think part of why she feels so bad about it is precisely because she doesn't hate it as much as she should, when she outright enjoys ending noxians. because it's one thing to be incapable of just sitting and watching and following a non-violent philosophy while people destroy what’s important to you, and something else to actually rejoice in killing them. part of her will always feel guilty for leaving the beliefs of her family and the tradition of her people behind (and feel all the worse for the fact she doesn't hate her path as much as she thinks she should).

[quixotic-gray]

You know what ticks me off?

Ok follow me- so against all odds I finally got my space fixed ok? my environment is my head (we know this) so now I can function relatively ok. Now follow me, I put up with this disaster for about a week and now I'm coming down with something and I feel like I've been hit by a truck ok but for all this time I couldn't even get to my computer let alone my tablet. I drag my sickly ass outta bed feeling even worse after my nap, I finally go to make some art I've been meaning to make- I can't tell u how bad its been bothering me- and my tablet is fucked up alright? still zen though, I'm accepting it, I'm at peace- I think there's wiring for different aspects of the display and 1 or 2 wires are being touchy, cord must have got twisted or smth idk, so I stinted it until I can open it up and see what's going on and I hope its not going to need solder to fix but anyway, I get this shit in its temporary fix, and then and only then can I start making art. despite everything I got a sketch that I like how it turned out right? so I'm gonna color it-- *RECORD SCRATCH* jazz music stops (not just referencing the meme, windows media player also turned its back on me, cast me into silence), I can't move my cursor, everything is frozen. I waited, I tried so many things. Nothing. I had to forcibly turn of the computer. And I lost the art. That I went thru so much to make.

*that* is what ticks me off.

[ace-with--a-mace]

living my worst life

[deus-ex-mona]

here’s to hoping for a ✨better✨ next week… _(:3 」∠)_

[pomarrillo]

:)

[troublesome-transboy]

you know. i really feel like “i don’t want to experience heat illness” is not that unreasonable to say actually

[sewerfight]

when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn't need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn't like his tone. used to send him "SHUT UP Jacques" periodically. and he'd answer every single one of my asks like "who is this?? show your face or I'll fucking kill you" and I'd be like "now now, that doesn't make sense, jacques" all haughty and he'd get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn't a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn't even respond to the rant until I came back. I could've chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like "psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn't take their own values seriously." and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn't know how to, or if he didn't want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I'd conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like "remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you'd been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn't funny because he probably had problems, and you were like 'oh.' and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?" Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you're out there I'm sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it's any consolation I know every day of my life that I'm probably going to hell for the sick things I have done

[dear---moon]

I write and write and then never publish it. I create what feels just the same as everything before. It is as if I haven't been anything else since 17. I write paragraphs of sentences that read like bad translations, yet I continue, as the art of creation reads like something society needs. That's what I think of art; we all need it, but you're not certified to success. You never are, whether you make art or not. And after contemplating things for a little too long, I get so lost within these thoughts. That's when the frustration hits, as I never feel like accomplishing anything. There's so much love around me, and "I know love is real because I exist and I'm full of it" sounds like I could've made that statement had I only been more talented, yet the loneliness haunts me, and I cannot stress enough how much I wish to lay in the grass again, or just hike for half the day. I've danced in the cold spring rain and I nearly fell asleep in the fields, on hot summer days. I've been through life in so many different ways, and I miss it now that I am older, afraid I'll never get to go back to being this carefree.