#filler chapters are really fucking painful

[n1ghtwr1ter]

At the end of my latest TLT reread and it’s been physically painful attempting to read the last 40+ pages of Nona. Like, the short shrift that Gideon/Kiriona gets given by the people in the story…the theoretical good guys who honestly only see her as a thing, as a means to an end with an inconvenient dead soul attached to it… It makes me want to rip my own heart out of my chest.

Nobody has cared about Gideon her whole life. Most people, in fact, if they remembered about her at all, went out of their way to tell her how much they wished she didn’t exist. In the final chapters of Gideon, she finally gets the thing she’s been desperate for her whole life: somebody telling her that they need her, they care that she exists, and they badly want her to go on doing it. This allows her to make peace with the prospect that at the ripe old age of 18, she needs to die so that that person can go on living and living and living, using the castrated remnants of her soul as fuel to do so. Not a great way to go, but at least Gideon would get to be useful to somebody, would get to be remembered for something.

And then she wakes up in the wrong body, and finds out that her sacrifice - her attempt to be useful in the most selfless way possible, in that her self will no longer exist - has been rejected. And not only that, but the person she tried to give herself to - the one who was supposed to care about her - went to extreme lengths to make completely sure that she no longer remembered about Gideon.

She literally cut Gideon out of her brain.

And now, drifting along in the worst sort of half life where she’s inhabiting her body but it’s no longer really hers, in very obvious fashion - there’s holes in it, her heart is missing, and it’s got her shitty father’s handprints all over it (not even touching how much of a violation that is), indelibly - she finally meets back up with the small group of people who could theoretically be relied upon to be glad to see her again.

But then the one who was supposed to care about her most tries to kiss her (massively OOC for Harrow), and turns out to not even be there - it’s some weird baby inhabiting her body, and doing a really shit job of it too. The rest of them won’t stop talking about how they need her to break into the Tomb - as if she was just another key, same as the ones they worked together to acquire in Canaan House, just bigger and more inconvenient - and/or how they both fucked and killed her mom, who also (surprise, surprise) wished that Gideon had never existed, but saw her as a thing that needed to be done for the good of the mission.

Ultimately, they all make it abundantly clear - Palamedes, Camilla, Pyrrha, and especially Nona, all these people who are supposed to be kind and good and right - that they would prefer she wasn’t there. That it just be her body, with no Gideon attached - at least not Gideon the way she is now, broken and rejected and miserable. They would all far have preferred that she not have her own inconvenient thoughts and feelings and desires and impulses - that she just be inanimate and let the important people, the grown ups, get things done.

They wish she didn’t exist. Same as everybody else in her life, save one, and now she’s left wondering whether Harrow really meant it at all. Because if she did, she wouldn’t have left Gideon to Kiriona’s fate.

And honestly? Really, truly? I know everybody in the fandom loves Pal and Cam and Nona and Pyrrha, but in the end I couldn’t give less of a shit about them. They are fucking side characters, and as intriguing as Nona has been from a worldbuilding standpoint, I ultimately resent having been forced to read 400+ pages of filler bullshit about fucking side characters. I am a butch, and I’m here for my sarcastic, loving, angry, vulnerable, forgiving, and yes, inconvenient sword butch. I’m here for Gideon. But Gideon has been fridged for the last two books of the series in which she is supposed to be a, if not the, main character.

And it feels like almost nobody else in the fandom feels the same way, which, fine. I’m used to that. I’m also used to being told I’m projecting; and I’m used to being told that I’m inconvenient too, in my thoughts and my opinions and the mere fact of my existence. I spent the first eighteen years of my life being told I was inconvenient. Yet another point of overidentification with Gideon.

But in case anybody still thinks that Nona proves that Gideon was an asshole all along, think about all of the above. Think about how it would make you feel to come back from not just death but from the erasure of your existence, something you chose in order to save the life of someone you loved, and be told that you’re inconvenient. Think about how you’d feel if you’d been told all your life that it would be better for everyone if you didn’t exist. And then tell me that Kiriona isn’t in the right and that I should give a rat’s ass what happens to literally anybody else.

It’s Kiriona Hours up in this House, butches. We’ve spent long enough caring about people who would prefer we weren’t around. For once in our entire lives we were told we were important; we were told we mattered; we were told we were the main character. We were going to, if not get the girl and save the world, at least get to do something real, something important, something like being the hero.

But that’s over now; we’re back to being wrong and bad and inconvenient thanks to the simple fact of our existence. So it’s time to embrace it. Let’s be a little shit. Let’s be kind of a dick. Let’s have our own agenda, let’s play our cards close to our heartless chest, let’s allow our circle of empathy to contract to ourselves and maybe one more person. That’s where I’m at right now. And I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

[mockerycrow]

Undercover V (Soap x GN!Reader)

undercover series masterlist - previous | next

Summary: Your stress is staying at it’s peak for the time being as you come to terms that you’re staying under a secure watch until you’re properly evaluated, under the wise eyes of John “Soap” MacTavish. Chapter five, otherwise known as “babysitting duty”.

A/N: I’m so sorry for taking literally a month for this chapter. I’m so glad you guys are still loving this series. This a bit of a humorous filler, so I apologize. Next chapter will have more story!! <3

[WARNINGS: Mentions of genocide and human trafficking, inaccurate medical stuff.]

“Truth has many shades; it is not a matter of black and white, but grey.” -Morgan Freeman.

AFTER MY WHOLE failed evaluation, they allowed me to rest again, which I’m half thankful for, half not. I got a few hours of sleep in, but not enough to feel good about. The ache of sitting in a bed for a couple days is finally beginning to kick in so much so that I can’t sleep. I woke up really early in the morning, around 3 AM. I wasn’t surprised to see the lights in my room to be off, but I was surprised to vaguely see a figure in my room which at first freaked me the fuck out, but I quickly realized was Soap. I can’t make his features out enough to see if he’s awake or not, but I don’t care.

I need to get out of this damn bed.

I move my handcuffed hand a bit to grasp onto the hospital bed railing and I begin to slowly pull myself from my bed, hissing as new aches bloom across my healing wounds. Especially my damn stomach area, fuck. I ignore the pain blooming underneath my skin and I manage to get myself into a sitting position, and I can already feel some relief hitting me once I’m not laying back against a surface. I slowly curl one of my legs up, a soft noise leaving my lips as I feel my muscles in my leg thank me for bending my leg. I hear Soap stir, but I don’t pay him any mind. He makes a “hmm?” sound as I take a slow deep breath, allowing the aches in my wounds to subside.

“What’re you doin’?” Soap grumbles out, voice thick and heavy with sleep, making him a bit hard to understand when combined with his accent. He inhales loudly as he stretches and I glance at my handcuffs. “Sitting up.” I reply curtly. Can he not fucking see??

..I forgot it’s dark in here. Anyway..

“Ya need to lay back down and rest—“ I groan. “All I’ve been doing is laying down! My back fuckin’ hurts, man! I’m tired of sitting here like a wet noodle.” Soap gets up from his seat and walks closer to me—which isn’t that far of a distance, honestly, since Soap’s chair is considerably close to my bed. I notice his gloves are still on as he puts a hand on my shoulder, which he must’ve chosen the sore shoulder because I since and shy away from his touch. “Ow.”

Soap quickly retracts his hand, wincing himself in sympathy. “Look, it’s late, aye? Why don’t ya lay down fer now, have tha’ doctors help you in the mornin’?” His eyes glance up at the clock up on the wall, squinting his eyes to look as it’s dark in here. I groan and bite my lip, silently licking and choosing my battles. He is right, it’s much better for me to wait until the doctors or nurses come and help me. I sigh and make a motion with my free hand. “Alright.”

I manage to get myself laid back onto the bed, and I keep looking at my handcuffs. I move my cuffed hand around as I look at Mohawk, gesturing to my cuffed wrist now. “Okay, tell me how truly necessary this is. It’s getting a bit tiring.” My tone is a bit.. curt, and I don’t mean it, but I’m getting antsy in this room and I fucking hate just laying here. I’m uses to being out on the field, so sitting in one place doesn’t do me much good. Soap snorts as he sits himself back in his chair and without looking, grabs his sketchbook notebook thing from where he stuffed it between my mattress and the frame of the hospital type bed. “I dinnae ken how i can say this in a nicer way but, you’re.. considered a risk of some sort by the dafties overseein’ ya.”

I blink at him for a moment and he has a sheepish look on his face, his free hand coming up behind his head and scratching it. I pretend that I know one hundred of what he said—look, sometimes Scottish accents are hard to understand. “You’re one of the ‘dafties’ overseeing me.”

“You know what I mean!” Soap grumbles. I pause for a moment and keep my eyes on him, my fingers absentmindedly drawing patterns into the fabric of my blanket. “Do you think I’m a risk, Soap?”

Soap takes a moment to look back at me, and I mean really look back at me. His eyes pierce through mine again, taking in every detail of my face—and that causes me to look away again, because it makes me feel weird. “I mean.. Maybe. If I had ta’make the final decision, I’d let ya roam, but with someone to watch over ya.” His voice is serious as he seemingly tells me the truth about what he thinks. In a way, I find comfort in his words but I also.. don’t.

It hurts to know that they consider me so unstable.

“You should go back ta’sleep.”

I don’t answer and I look down at my fingers as my index finger scratches at the corner of my thumbnail. It feels like my damn nerves are on fire. “Can’t.” I mutter, and I curse myself when my voice is barely audible. Soap seems to catch what I said, though, because his eyebrow raises in an questioning manner. “Ya haven’t even tried,” He retorts, nearly snorting. Soap wipes his eyes as I huff—he’s right, I haven’t, but I know I won’t be able to. I look over at the clock on the wall, as if I could will time to go by faster. I let out a quiet noise as I shift myself a bit, a subtle painful ache settling back into my jaw and my abdomen. Oh yeah—I’m injured. It’s not like I forgot but, I’ve been so pumped of drugs this entire time, so I haven’t felt much since waking up the first time in this bed. I try to cross my arms, but my damn hand is still handcuffed!

Oh, god fucking dammit, I wanna get out of this bed!

“Stop actin’ like a wee bairn.” Soap snorts as he glances over at me again, then back down at his sketchbook notebook thing. I should probably ask what it is. “I don’t even know what the fuck that means.” I hiss with as much venom as I can muster, which isn’t much because I’m… cuffed to a bed. God. I hate this.

“Oh, lemme translate for ya.. Stop actin’ like a baby. Better?” He questions, pencil in hand. “Sure.” I mutter. I eye the pencil. “What is that?” I ask, pointing over to his general direction. “What is what?” Soap murmurs before holding up the notebook sketchbook thing. “This? It’s a sketchbook.” Ah, okay. I don’t have to call it that super long name now. Sketchbook, it is. I nod quietly as I glance around the room, trying to find something to focus on. It’s not like they could give me my phone. I wouldn’t be surprised if Makarov took it, destroyed it maybe.

….

Makarov.

I feel my heart suddenly drop into my gut and dig deep to stay there. Makarov.. He’s one hell of a man, that’s for sure. Can I even call him a man? He’s not a human being by my standards, anyway. The things I’ve seen him do, the things I’ve seen him order others to do—me to do.. He’s the worlds single largest threat and he’s in the wind. My fingers grasp at my blanket. He is not loyal to any country, he’s not loyal to any creed—he slaughters for his own gain, he doesn’t flinch at anything. Not human trafficking, genocide, fucking hell, what am I saying?? He’s the one doing the genocide! Just the simple thought of him makes my hair stand up and I hate that. I’m going to have to expose myself to these people, what I did to seem loyal—no, I’m not going to excuse it. Yeah, sure, I did it under the guise of loyalty, but I hurt a lot of fucking people. Any regular civilian would call for my death, but what they don’t understand is that when you’re fighting a war and trying to prevent a bigger one, one that will end in M.A.D? You do what you have to do. You turn your brain off, you pull the trigger.

I don’t know what to think anymore.

Something nudges my leg which snaps me out of my daze—it’s Soap’s boot. He puts his foot back on the ground when he has my attention. His eyebrow is slightly pulled in, the outer edge of his lip is pulled tight for a moment. “Get out of yer head there, mm? Look, let’s play a little game, shall we?”

I groan and I look up at the ceiling. “I feel like I’m being babysat when you say that.” Soap grins. “Ya are. Anyway—give me a, uh.. give me a thing to draw.” I blink at his words and I decide to not point out what he just said. I grumble and shrug. “I don’t know,” I began, glancing around the room at the different medical posters plastered on the walls—one of them on a program offered to help others to quit smoking. Bet that hasn’t helped too many. “A dog.”

Soap shakes his head as I began to say those words. “No, pick somethin’ else.” I raise an eyebrow at how quick he denied my request. “No, I want you to draw a dog.” I challenge, watching the way he twirls the pencil between his fingers. “Choose somethin’ else, I’m not drawin’ a dog.” My heart monitor begins to beep faster and Soap puts his hands up defensively. “Steamin’ Jesus, gettin’ worked up over the drawing? I’ll draw ya a cat instead, calm ya tits.”

I try to cover my snort of amusement because that wasn’t even on purpose. Soap is hunched over his sketchbook and I watch his pencil wisp across the paper, and I notice an indent on Soap’s cheek, almost like he bites the inside of it or sucks on the inside as he focuses. Huh. Makes me wonder if he does that on missions, too. I turn my head again and read the clock—it’s 3:30ish, maybe 3:40 AM. I only glanced at it before looking back at Soap.

I think I’ll actually break these handcuffs and end my life by breaking off pieces of the drywall and consuming it if this is how the next few hours will be spent.

“Y’know, my L.T. told me a joke concernin’ a dog.”

L.T.? Lieutenant, I’m assuming. I don’t say anything, but I look at him. Soap looks up from his sketchbook with a grin on his face again. “Wha’has two legs and bleeds?”

“A dog,” I respond.

“Half a dog.” He corrects me.

I blink at him slowly before trying to subdue the smile appearing on my face. I’m smiling because it’s stupid. “That’s dumb.” Soap inhales through his teeth as his pencil strokes across the paper. “Oooh, don’t let my L.T. hear that, yeah? The man loves his jokes.” My eyes watch his hand holding the pencil as I speak. “So,” I begin. “Your team is.. who exactly, again? You, Price, who else?” Soap hums. “Well, there’s me—I’m a sergeant. There’s Gaz, who’s also a sergeant. You’ve met Price, he’s my cap’n, and then there’s ‘The Ghost’.” He chuckles, glancing at me for a moment. “He’s my L.T.”

“‘The Ghost’?” I question, raising an eyebrow. Sounds like a name a middle schooler puts down for their kahoot game. Soap looks back at his sketchbook. “Well, it’s just Ghost. That’s just what he goes by.”

Edgy, damn…

“Hm. That’s the 141, then?” I bite back saying something about how they waterboarded me, because I know deep down that won’t help anyone. I’m trying to not think about all the damn torture I’ve endured this year because I find it quite annoying when my chest tightens so harshly—to the point where I can’t fucking breathe. Damn panic attacks.

Soap clears his throat and grins, erasing something before swiping the eraser shavings to the side. “All done. Wanna see?” He looks at me expectantly and I motion for him to show me. Soap turns his sketchbook towards me and he’s sketched out a messy, yet well put together drawing of a cat. He drew it in just a few minutes so it isn’t the most detailed, but it’s quite amazing for the time span he drew it in. “Oh, damn,” I say in quiet awe. “I thought you were just going to.. draw a little fella, I dunno.” I wince as my jaw pulses sharp pain through my nerves and my hand instinctively shoot’s up to cup my jaw. Soap’s sharp gaze lingers where my hand is for a moment before he shuts his sketchbook and stuffs it back between the mattress and the hospital bed frame. He grunts as he stands up and leans over me, his finger pressing the red call button on the remote near my pillow. He probably noticed my pain. “Thanks,” I mumble, my hand remaining on my cheek. My eyes flutter shut as the pain begins to intensify, so much so that I don’t notice another presence beside me until they utter my name. I eyes shoot open quickly, my body tense, but I quickly relax when I see it’s a nurse. “The Sergeant here told me you’re feeling some pain. Do you mind rating it on a scale of one to ten?” The nurse murmurs. The nurse is a man with long brown hair that’s tied up neatly into a bun. He has a darker colored beard with red hairs around his mustache and lower lip, dawning square-ish glasses.

“It’s at a four right now,” I respond, glancing at my IV lines before looking at the nurse’s gloves. “It’s climbing, though.”

The nurse hums and writes down my symptoms on a sticky note. “I’m going to go get you a small dose of a narcotic for you, alright? Usually I would give you some tylenol, but you’ve had some extensive medical care.”

I blink. Oh wow. A narcotic?

Soap grins and pokes me with the eraser of his pencil. “Looks like I’ll be babysittin’ ya fer a while more, yeah?”

Fuck.

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[cheegu3]

Enhypen - the glory (part 6)

summary; after rejecting one of the most popular boys at your new school, you soon realised that you'd done the gravest mistake of your life; these weren't ordinary boys, and now they were set on making your life a living hell - heavily based on the kdrama with the same name

warnings; yandere themes, bullying, swearing, blood, fight, poor ass attempt at manipulation, mentions of wounds, mentions of non-con kissing,

genre; yandere

wc; 5k

pairing; enha x f.m reader

note; I think the definition of the word impulsive is me bc I added a damn plottwist last minute just to stress ppl out 💀 pls note that the boys aren't featured much in this, not my best chapter it's a bit of a messy filler chapter but I hope you can see my vision for the next ones ?? also y/n girly is doing a bit of a 180, good for her !!

masterlist

After a long night of hanging out, talking and just watching the movie, Soobin kindly dropped you off at your house as promised. With a head full of thoughts, it distracted you so much that you didn’t see where you were going; causing you to bump into a chest when you were near the entrance to the apartment building.

‘’ Sorry, ‘’ he grunted.

You were about to respond, but when your head snapped up as you were apologising profusely you swear your heart skipped a beat.

‘’ Jake? ‘’

He smiled and tried to go in for a hug. When he was pushed away hard on his chest and it caused him to stumble he scowled at you.

‘’ Why the fuck are you here? ‘’

‘’ Just…hung out with your dad. ‘’

The amused tone in his voice enraged you. In seconds your fists grabbed onto his collar and trying to intimidate him, tugged him towards you. 

‘’ Y/n? ‘’

Your burning eyes softened. Searching for the owner of yet another familiar voice, it soon landed on the entrance where you poor dad stood, looking confused and slightly embarrassed.

He gave you a stern look before marching over, pulling your hands away with great force and standing in between you and Jake so he could bow his head.

‘’ I’m so, so sorry. I- she’s not usually like this. ‘’

A crooked smile slowly crept on your bully’s face, only you could see the disingenuity behind it.

‘’ I know. We’re usually very close, we just had a small disagreement.‘’

‘’ Dad! He’s not my friend, he’s the one that has been bullying me. ‘’ you said exasperatedly, hoping to get through to your dad with those words.

‘’ This guy? ‘’ 

It was almost laughable how hard Jake was putting on a show, blinking his enlarged puppy eyes at your dad while his lips had an offended pout on it. What a shame he was so fucking good at it.

‘’ Yes, I know that he looks…’’ you grimaced, ‘’ Innocent and sweet but he’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing, he- he has kissed me before, without my consent. ‘’

You ignored the way he lit up at your compliment and he seemed to really struggle to not show it while your dad was still watching him, the only sign was the corner of his lips tugging upwards for a split second.

With your dad’s back turned to you there was no way for you to tell if your dad believed your words. But you could sense that there must’ve been some hint of acceptance there because Jake panicked, hurrying to speak before you or your dad did.

‘’ Sir, I’ve been really worried about y/n recently. With her mother in the hospital, she’s been kind of off…’’ you mouth hung open at the scene unfolding in front of you, he really wasn’t giving up.

‘’ She has been confusing me with her actual bully, Soobin who transfered not that long ago, along with this girl. ‘’ he gestured towards your arms, feigning a distraught look. ‘’ They did that to her. They left her in pain and with those scars. ‘’

He pretended to choke up, sighing and looking away from the audience.

‘’ And it breaks my heart that she doesn’t recognize m- ‘’

A cry broke from your lips as Jake was cut off mid sentence. A fist had swung and hit him right in the nose, and when he raised his head you could see blood trickling from it.

‘’ Dad! ‘’ you gasped, both impressed and pleasantly surprised.

Like the crybaby he was, he took a few steps back and then crouched down, pressing his hands to his dripping nose while glaring at you two. Your smile faded when your eyes met, he was even angrier than the last time you swore that was the angriest he’d ever looked. His hands were shaking and he was breathing heavily. You swallowed thickly. What would this mean for your dad? Would he try to get revenge on him too now?

‘’ Let’s go, y/n. ‘’

Your dad dragged you away by the arm, continuing to do so despite your protests and attempts to get out of his grasp. Knowing Jake well enough by now, you knew that if you comforted him and apologized, maybe even hugged and kissed him - then, he maybe wouldn’t hit back. But your dad didn’t even let you try this time, leaving you with a horrible sense of dread at the pit of your stomach as you ascended the stairs.

‘’ You should get in before he comes back. ‘’

You followed your dad into the apartment. Your two distinct moods were pretty apparent to one another. He looked worried and at the same time determined, not an ounce of regret present on his face; you on the other hand, kept your head down, a different kind of worry gnawed on the inside causing you to sit on the couch with a somewhat dead look in your eyes.

You sitting there and staring straight ahead for a very long time made your dad come over, a growing concern having taken ahold of him.

‘’ Hey, y/n? ‘’

You almost had to tear your eyes away from the wall you’d been staring at.

‘’ I’m sorry about that. I hope I didn’t cause any more troubles for you at school, ‘’ he hesitated, ‘’ Did I? ‘’

Robotically your head shook no, although your true feelings were quite different. Knowing he couldn’t do anything to help you anyway, there was no need for him to know anything, right? He’d just worry even more, and he had too many things on his plate as it was already.

‘’ Okay, good good. ‘’ he mumbled, appearing to be stuck in his own head too.

In an attempt to lighten the mood and get you both to think of something else, your dad reached out for the TV-remote and put on a show that faded into the background for you.

‘’ I need to go do homework. ‘’

Your dad nodded but couldn’t help but look after you as you left, a look full with somberness. Well inside the room, you walked over to the wall with the post-it notes. It looked as empty as it had been last time you wrote anything on it.

Now you had more info. Walking over to the desk, you scribbled some words down and hung it up next to the others. Then you moved that one and added seven more notes, all with their names, figuring it would be better to separate the things you knew by person.

Under Jay you added the note that read - dad is the mayor of Seoul. Sunghoon, Sunoo and Jungwon were the only ones except for Jay that had a note, and that irritated you. Sunoo’s read - gave information in the past, someone we can use? While Sunghoon and Jungwon’s said - has my number.

A heavy sigh sounded in the room as you scanned over the other names. Heeseung, nothing yet. Jake, nothing, Ni-ki…Ni-ki? You hurried to the table. With a new note in your hand, you almost ran to the wall eagerly and added the information you got from Sunoo regarding his childhood, adding the same under Sunoo’s. 

The fact was that you knew more about those two than the others. While staring at Sunoo’s name you hoped to yourself that it’d be as easy to get more information out of him as the first time. Maybe giving some clues about the other guys so Soobin wouldn’t have to work as hard.

Once you realised you couldn’t really add anything to the wall for now, you finally sat down at the desk to catch up on all the schoolwork you had neglected the past week. The phone that laid nearby was a powerful distraction to the math you tried very hard to get immersed in. You kept glancing at it, hands clenching the pen in your hand in anxiety at the possibility of them texting you since they could unfortunately do that now.

Almost as if you’d manifested it, the phone pinged after about the tenth time you peeked at it. It was impossible to miss, in the darkened room it lit up and the display shone at you brightly. 

A quick breath was released before you dared to pick it up. Both disappointment and relief filled you instead as the notification was just from an app. The radio silence from the guys felt a bit unnerving. Had he even told them? What were they talking about? Were they angry, would they text- no, you had to stop letting your mind wander. There was no point in trying to somehow read their minds through telepathy, it would only serve to increase the worry.

You looked at the neglected homework and reluctantly pushed it away once again, opting instead for a good night’s rest.

*******

The next day was Sunday. Normally you’d go to weekend-school to do some extra work but after last night’s run in with Jake, you decided to do what Soobin had told you to do, stay at home. 

8:17 am

You: Soobin? I thought about what you said and I won’t come to the academy today. Do you think you’ll be okay on your own?

Cousin: I’m glad you trusted me :) 

Cousin: I will be okay. Maybe I could try to get closer to them today?

You: Yeah. I kinda expect them to since I’m not there. They might ask about me, especially since,

You: Well…

He didn’t reply right away so you exited the messages and instead went to email. During last night, Soobin suggested that you could hire a private investigator. He emailed a suggested official website where you could easily get all kinds of people willing to help with anything, and he even offered to pay for you.

Soobin had said that his dad used it in the past, when trying to find proof of infedelity in his marriage so he’d seen first-hand how it worked. They never asked too many questions or reported anything since they had their own interests. The one he chose was a corrupted cop, working on the side for extra pocket-money. In the end, he proved to be a good choice as he did find proof and the divorce was finalized. 

You scrolled down the long list of names, thumb stopping and hovering over one in particular - Choi Hyuntae, Kim Doyun, Park Chaewoo, Kang Siwoo, Lee Seoyun, Yang Yena…

With swift fingers you clicked to message the person. The probability of you choosing her was low, but curiosity lead you astray for a moment.

8:20 am

You: Yena? Why are you on this website? / from, y/n

A whole minute passed before you got a response.

Unknown number: Y/n? Wtf are you doing here?

You: Answer me first

Unknown number: I recently passed the exam. I’m a cop now.

You: And you’re already corrupt…

Unknown number: Just trying to survive like everyone else. Your turn to answer.

You: I was looking for someone to help me with the situation at school.

You hesitated before giving the truth. But it wouldn’t be the biggest deal if she told Jungwon, you hadn’t even done anything yet and if they confronted you, you could always make them think you had no power to do anything anyway. Your scars hadn’t itched in a few hours, maybe if they did you’d be reminded of the pain and shy away from just jumping into action.

Unknown number: You mean my brother and his friends?

You: Yeah.

Unknown number: I could help you with that. I hate him and have always wanted to take him down. I guess this is fate, huh?

You: Why do you hate him though? Except for his personality ofc.

Unknown number: I was always second best, in school, in looks, in talents and personality etc. Jungwon has dreams of becoming a singer, I guess they found his dream a lot better than mine too. Besides, they only wanted sons anyway.

You: Sorry to hear that. I guess I could give you a chance, but I don’t trust you yet so don’t expect too much.

Unknown: I won’t

You: If you have a car, we can meetup tonight at 9pm in that abandoned parking lot by the beach, the one a bunch of highschoolers used to drive to when they ditched school.

You: Do you know it?

Unknown: I think so. See you there!

It was a bit reckless to decide to meet up just like that, without even consulting with Soobin. Him being away left you feeling bored and restless. You wanted very badly to make moves as well, but you couldn’t go to the academy. Finally he did eventually answer, redirecting your attention elsewhere.

8:22 am

Cousin: Well what???

You: I did something stupid. Jake was in my apartment while I was at your house. I told dad that he bullied me and he punched him.

Cousin: WHAT? Y/n!

You: Sorry…Can you deal with the mess tho?

Cousin: I can try :/ 

Cousin: I’ll keep in touch during the day. Why the fuck was he there though?

While reading the texts from Soobin, your smile faded away. You realized you had never asked your dad about it. Surely there was a reason right?

‘’ Dad? ‘’

‘’ In the kitchen, honey! ‘’

You ran there. 

‘’ Did Jake say why he was here yesterday? ‘’

The typing on the computer stopped for a few seconds. A low hum came from his throat as he rubbed his beard.

‘’ He did…I think- yeah, he said it was because you got injured during P.E and missed out on the last lesson. So he wanted to give you the notes. ‘’

‘’ Did you not question it? I haven’t told you I have any friends. ‘’

‘’ You know your school is on the way to my office. I look through the gates sometimes. ‘’ he shrugged.

‘’ Did you see me? ‘’

‘’ Many times. After school, I saw you once with some guy but I could only see the back. ‘’

‘’ Soobin. ‘’ you mumbled to yourself.

‘’ I got the wrong guy? ‘’

You hummed. ‘’ Seems so. 

‘’ Can you blame me? I saw that same guy be surrounded by a bunch of guys before that, could’ve all been twins to an old man like me. ‘’

His voice slowly dimmed in the background of the new stream of thoughts inside your head. Wait, was he talking about Soobin? With a bunch of guys…

‘’ If you ask me, everyone looks the sa- ‘’

‘’ Dad! Do you think at least one of the guys could’ve been Jake? ‘’ you interrupted.

He was caught off guard by your rapid question and took a bit to recollect his thoughts.

‘’ Possibly. ‘’

Shit. Why was Soobin with them? You felt a bitter taste take place in your mouth. The phone in the backpocket of your jeans was fished up as you contemplated texting him and asking him head on. But that seed of mistrust you always had inside, stopped you from doing so.

It had gotten watered again after having been kept away the more Soobin got you to trust him. Now it was growing, like it had never stopped. Was he two-timing you? You squeezed your hands around your phone, to the point your arm started shaking.

‘’ Honey, are you alright? ‘’

You snapped back and gasped when you realized what you were doing. With an awkward laugh you nodded and smiled, hurrying next to leave quickly so you could lock yourself up in your room.

Had Jake been in your room? You tried to take your mind off of Soobin by ravaging through your stuff to see if there was any trace of him. Then, a deeply unsettling thought popped into your head. In seconds you were at the drawers, pulling them out and throwing things around.

Oh no, that fucking pervert! You counted your underwear over and over. No matter how many times you did so, it didn’t add up - something was missing. Boiling with rage you took out your phone and without thinking, you called Sunghoon.

He picked up on the fifth dial, sounding brash even from the get-go.

‘’ Hey, sweetheart. ‘’

‘’ Sunghoon! Put Jake on the phone, now! ‘’ you yelled.

He didn’t question it or joke around more, probably hearing the anger radiating in your voice. A small laugh slipped out before muffled sounds followed and Jake finally was put on the phone.

‘’ Jake? ‘’

‘’ Yeah? ‘’

‘’ What the fuck did you do in my room? ‘’

The line went quiet, but you heard a few snickers in the background. If he had put it on speaker for everyone to hear, it would solely serve to make you even angrier. You weren’t even sure where all this newfound confidence and boldness came from, or if you’d regret it soon enough. Now all that mattered was your anger, and only that.

‘’ I- uh…what do you mean? ‘’

‘’ Don’t you dare try to play dumb! ‘’ you screamed.

Jake chuckled. ‘’ I don’t have to tell you anything after what you did to me. ‘’

‘’ You deserved so much worse than that. ‘’

He hummed.

‘’ Maybe. But thank you babe, I’ll have fun tonight. ‘’

You screamed in frustration again which doubled when you heard they hung up. You couldn't even retaliate or cuss them out. Falling back onto the soft cushion on the bed, you stared up at the ceiling, almost struggling to breathe properly.

The phone pinged.

8:21 am

Cousin: I’m here. What do you want me to do?

Glaring at the screen, you couldn’t help but feel angry at Soobin even though it wasn’t his fault this time either. For some reason you kept imagining that he was probably looking at his phone while the guys over his shoulder all laughed, calling you all sorts of names and coming up with more plans on how to torture you further.

But another part of you came to the conclusion that you’d have to confront him and talk about it like an adult, because it could still be a misunderstanding; you didn’t want to give more life to the seed of doubt and falsely lash out on him again.

You huffed, but replied for now as if you were completely oblivious about what your dad had told you. Likely, you’d talk to him about it later. But it would be even better if he could get you proof that it was all a misunderstanding without you telling him. Your reasoning for this was that if it was one and you had confronted him, it would probably break his heart that you got suspicious of him again. Problem was, you had no idea how he could give you proof without you mentioning any of that. 

After some pondering, laying on the bed and letting the silence make brainstorming happen, you settled on the first somewhat decent idea you came up with, voice notes. It could potentially mean you could hear in the others’ voices if they were acting or not.

But god, you hoped with every fiber in you that Soobin was still someone you could trust and that he was in no way affiliated with your abusers.

8:24 am

You: Could you voice record the whole thing?

Cousin: Sure!

And now you just had to wait.

*******

The time you spent in the car wasn’t very pleasant. Most of the day was spent finally being able to get into the zone long enough to finish your schoolwork. Soobin had texted about five minutes before you left to go meet Yena, saying that he had the recording and that he wanted to listen to it together. 

You told him you were meeting Jungwon’s sister, which quite expectedly made him freak out a little. He was probably on his way now and you hoped he wouldn’t jeopardize the meetup.

A white honda pulled into the parking lot a few minutes past 9pm. It went round in circles near the entrance a few times. Then the driver seemed to spot your car as it slowly started making its way over.

When it reversed into the empty square next to you, you craned your neck to see the person behind the wheel. You breathed out in relief upon seeing it was Yena like you had thought. For some reason, you always felt like they were watching you and half expected one of them to pull up, either instead of Yena or behind her.

Now that you knew that wasn’t the case, you unlocked the car and gestured for her to get into the front seat of your car. Getting out in the parking lot didn’t seem as safe or discreet, especially in case they did follow her here.

She got in and immediately reeked of pure business. No unnecessary politeness or small talk, just straight into it, ‘’ What do you want me to do? ‘’

Your eyes widened. ‘’ Not even a hi or how are you? ‘’

She just stared at you blankly and you had to look away, getting an awful sense of déjà-vu under her unsettling and very familiar gaze.

‘’ I’m still a cop working full-time, ‘’ she paused, looking a bit more relaxed. ‘’ Sorry, I just always seem to have my hands full. ‘’

‘’ Tough cases lately? ‘’

Yena nodded, looking quite gloomy all of a sudden. But you didn’t press further, agreeing it was best for the both of you to get right into it. You dug in your backpack and taking out a bulky camera, you handed it to her. She started turning it and inspecting it until you had managed to lay out all the equipment on the dashboard.

‘’ It’s not the best. Just an old camera my dad has used in the past, only one I could find. ‘’

She put the camera to her eye and started twisting the lens, playing around with the abilities of it. ‘’ It works just fine. You don’t need anything too expensive. ‘’

‘’ Okay, that’s good to hear. ‘’

‘’ So what do you need me to do? Follow that little asshole and his friends around and take pictures of them? ‘’

‘’ Yeah, pretty much. ‘’

‘’ That’s…kinda creepy, I like it. Anything else? ‘’ a small grin spread on her ruby lips.

‘’ Anything that seems relevant. Like their families- ‘’ you paused and licked your lips, watching her reaction closely, but her expression remained unchanged. ‘’ Things I can use against them. ‘’

‘’ You’re getting revenge. ‘’

‘’ Yeah. ‘’

She laughed loudly.

‘’ And you have no choice but to trust me or? ‘’

‘’ I don’t know. I could’ve picked someone else on that website. I guess a familiar face feels more comfortable. ‘’

‘’ I’m his sister though. If I were you I wouldn’t trust people that easily, even though I am telling the truth. ‘’

‘’ I don’t, and that has been a problem in the past. I need to be a bit more open to people. Let’s say you did tell him, ‘’ you imagined yourself in that scenario, thinking about what you’d truthfully most likely do. 

‘’ What can he do? I mean I can run away, move schools or…something. It’s not like I’ve done much anyway. Or I can pretend I’m in love with them and super regretful about what I tried to do. ‘’

She looked amused and you could see why. The anger from Jake escalating things and getting into your personal space like that had made you be a lot more impulsive. You felt like you didn’t have much time. As if there was some kind of timebomb to something, but you didn’t know what.

All you knew was that it wasn’t completely crazy to think and feel the way you did. They had started closing the circle around you. Meeting outside of school, getting your number, visiting your mom in the hospital, and then going to your apartment to take your things. What would they do next?

There was a feeling that if you didn’t make a move now, however hasty and reckless, you’d never get the chance to even try. You weren’t sure if that was weird paranoia making you try to predict the future or a good intuition knowing what storm was heading towards you.

‘’ They’re probably worse than you think, sweetheart. But okay, I’ll try my best and hopefully the hard work I put in and all the material I will give you, will make you trust me. ‘’

‘’ I don’t have to trust you. I have nothing to lose. ‘’

Yena raised her eyebrows.

‘’ Yes you do. ‘’

You bit your lips guilitly, knowing she was right. But the one who has nothing to lose, is the one who is more likely to win. Fake it till you make it.

‘’ When can you get me the first pictures? ‘’ you attempted to change the subject.

‘’ On Wednesday. Try not to die before then, I heard Jungwon talking about you with them today. ‘’

‘’ What? What did they say? ‘’

‘’ They all came over after the academy. I didn’t hear much except for your name and Jake, those were said a lot. ‘’ she shrugged. 

You hummed. ‘’ Okay, I’ll try not to. See you then, same time and same place? ‘’

‘’ Sure thing. ‘’

She left and you got your phone out to call Soobin. You had noticed a car parking a few spaces away from you, only too far away for the driver to be visible. Just as the phone was picked up, you could see movement in that other car.

‘’ Hello? ‘’

‘’ Are you here? ‘’

‘’ How did you know? ‘’ he gasped dramatically.

‘’ You weren’t very discreet,  ‘’ you sighed, but a small smile tugged at your lips.

‘’ Sit in my car so we can talk. ‘’

‘’ It’s kinda cooler like this though, on the phone. It’s like we’re secret agents. ‘’

‘’ Soobin! ‘’

‘’ Sorry, sorry! I’m coming. ‘’

You shook your head at the sight of him getting out of the car you thought he was in. He looked very funny while running over, hunched over and trying to look in all directions when running which caused him to almost stumble several times.

‘’ Hey. ‘’ 

‘’ Hi. Hurry. ‘’

You locked the door when he was in. The immediate silence after the car door closing made it echo felt a bit awkward, but he looked as happy as ever to see you. That’s when you remembered what your dad had said that same morning.

Soobin noticed the way a scowl slowly crept up on the friendly face you first wore when he got in. He felt a bit self-conscious, thinking that he did something wrong.

‘’ Are you…okay? ‘’

‘’ My dad told me something very interesting about you today. ‘’

He gulped, almost feeling like he wanted to press himself against the door so he could get away from your angry self.

‘’ He said that he saw you with my bullies. ‘’

Soobin went quiet.

‘’ Soobin? ‘’

His face grew pale as he struggled to speak. ‘’ I-I, no! It’s not what you think, y/n! ‘’

‘’ Then tell me. ‘’

He tried reaching out for your hands, expecting you to withdraw them and was surprised when you didn’t. You let him hold you if it helped alleviate some of his sudden anxiety so he could tell you the truth.

‘’ I…went to go talk to them to tell them to leave you alone. ‘’

‘’ What? ‘’

He looked very ashamed.

‘’ It was after the first day, when you showed me your scars. We barley knew each other then, but I- I shouldn’t have, I know. ‘’

You almost felt too stunned to speak. All the questions you wanted to ask didn’t want to come out smoothly and you weren’t even sure what to feel. Were you still angry or suspicious of him or - did you feel a bit grateful?

‘’ I did it quickly while waiting for you after school. Remember, you went to the bathroom? They walked right past me and I couldn’t stop myself. I guess they didn’t want you to hear, so I was practically dragged or pushed out to the front of the school. ‘’

‘’ What did they say? ‘’ you asked after he answered your first question.

‘’ Threatened me. Said they knew who my dad was and that Jay could get my dad fired. ‘’

‘’ Why didn’t you tell me this? ‘’ 

Your groan of frustration was so loud it made Soobin jump. He looked at you, his doe eyes begging for mercy almost as if you were a hunter and was about to take his life. Maybe there was some truth to that, you had the small urge to shake some sense into him and also quite literally choke him in anger.

The plan had quite literally fallen into pieces, the plan that was just made. Now you had to come up with a new one quickly.

‘’ They knew we’ve been friends since the fucking beginning, you sat there with me to come up with a plan and immediately agreed to what I said! ‘’

‘’ I thought I could somehow pull it off and still be useful even if they knew. I would just…find a way, ‘’ he trailed off.

His head had started to hang in shame now, too embarrassed and guilty to look at you. Without doing so, it was still pretty obvious how you were feeling on the inside. He’d likely feel the same if he were you which meant he was well aware that this wasn’t a good look for him at all.

‘’ If you don’t want to be friends anymore, I get it okay- I just, I want to help you. I can promise you that. ‘’

You scoffed.

‘’ It would’ve been a lot better if you were just honest from the beginning. I wouldn’t have cared about your mistake. ‘’ not even giving him a chance to respond, you continued, ‘’ But I guess I have no choice now. For all I know I have two backstabbers by my side, so who cares? ‘’

Soobin sensed the bitterness in your words. He hoped that despite whatever was going on would be solved soon and hoped even more that you hadn’t given up. It was stupid not to tell you, he admitted that. For some reason he was confident it would never get brought up; at the same time, he was happy it did right now and not later when the bullies could’ve used that lie to turn you against him.

‘’ I hope I can earn your trust back. ‘’

You didn’t say anything. His explanation made sense, no matter how angry you were, especially when Yeonjun’s words echoed inside your head. It seemed to be perfectly in character for him. So just before he stepped out of the car, looking very sad, you smiled at him.

His eyes grew twice in size, but he didn’t get to say anything because you gestured for him to get out, not that he’d have the right words anyway. He stood there dumbfounded, staring after your car even as you left.

‘’ What’s wrong? ‘’

His eyes hadn’t widened due to your smile, but something standing in the shadows.

‘’ Y/n…’’ 

‘’ What’s wrong? ‘’

Terror flashed across his face, and he choked out breathlessly,

‘’ He’s watching me. ‘’

-

-

(tell me if you've changed ur user bc I could've just tagged some poor locals LMAO)

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[desideriumwriter]

Anyone But You | Chapter 6 | F.W. x Fem!Reader

Chapter Summary - Sore and waking up in a familiar room, reader figures out what the aftermath of last night was for her.

Pairing - Fred Weasley x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader

Category - enemies to lovers + hurt/comfort

Content Warnings - cursing, mentions of bruises and injuries

Word Count - 1.8k

A/N: trying to get back into my groove, so this is just another filler chap ig, i don't like it but i hope you enjoy

Series Masterlist | F.W Masterlist | Previous | Next | Navi

The strong light of the sun peeked through the window. Your eyes fluttered open, the last thing you remembered was passing out in Fred’s arms. There was a pounding in your head and your entire body was sore as you took in your surroundings. The worst amount of pain came from your right arm. Which was wrapped from your hand to your elbow in bandages.

You looked around the room you were in, it definitely wasn’t a hospital room.

It was familiar but it wasn’t yours.

It was the twins.

And the throw blanket with a large “F” stitched into it told you whose bed you were in.

What the fuck were you doing in Fred Weasleys bed?

You groaned when you tried to sit up, pain and soreness shot through your entire body immediately, causing you to drop back down onto the bed. You laid there, weakly holding your torso in pain.

However, Freds bed was surprisingly comfortable, despite the amount of soreness you felt. The mattress sunk underneath you, the multiple pillows sat cool under your head nicely, and the blankets were soft. You hate to admit it, but it was cozy.

You had to get out of it eventually, and you couldn’t be seen here, in his bed.

You threw the sheets and blankets off your body, revealing your legs, scattered in small and large bruises, a few tiny scrapes and scratches made their cameos as well. You grimaced at the sight of it. It only gave you reminders of what happened last night, where you were last night. Bleeding and stuck in the dirt.

You really couldn't remember much, memories of last night turned foggy.

You pushed yourself up using your good arm, still wincing and whimpering at the small stings of pain. Your backpack sat on the floor, leaning against a wooden leg of Freds bed frame.

After successfully moving your feet to the floor, you shuffled them across the old wood, practically limping as you made it to the bathroom, not bothering to close the door as you looked in the mirror at your injuries from last night.

You looked ghastly.

There was gauze wrapped around your head, a very prominent bruise around your left eye, shades of purple painting your under eye. There was still some dried blood stuck in your hair, some stains of it on the side of your face.

You turned in the mirror, lifting up your shirt slightly to find one large bruise painting the left side of your ribcage.

You felt ghastly.

You tried to wiggle your fingers and roll around your hand with the bandages wrapped around it. It only ended up in you wincing at the feeling of a million little stabs going through your wrists.

“It’s broken.” A voice muttered from the side of you. You looked to the direction it came from, and there you saw Fred standing awkwardly, hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“Your hand. Arm. It’s broken.” He repeated, wincing at his own words.

“Really? How do you know?” You shot at him, slight sarcasm in your voice.

“Well, other than the fact of how you can’t move it without making a painful noise. I was there while my mum tried to fix you up.”

“Oh.” You said softly, focusing your attention back to your broken bone, trying to ignore that he stayed with you even after he got you back here.

“She couldn’t do much to it so she only used ferula on you. She was able to repair your bag too, there were a few small rips.”

You only nodded your head, hoping he would get the hint to leave so you could. You didn’t want him to see you limp back to the bedroom, you didn’t want him to see you in any form of vulnerability. Though with what happened the previous night, he somewhat already has.

“This might be bad timing but…” Fred held up something, you could see him in the corner of your eye, whatever he was holding was dangling and twinkling.

Shit.

“I reckon you said you had gotten rid of this?” His mouth curled into a sinister smile, you recognized it was that dumb necklace.

“Where’d you get that?” You limped over to him quickly. Getting a better look at the gem, you realized your body wasn’t the only thing of yours that was damaged in the events of last night. The moonstone was cracked.

“It was dangling out of your bag.” He shrugged. You attempted to snatch the jewelry out of his hand, he was quick and darted his hand back. “I just want to know why you brought it along?”

“I didn’t.” You lied. “It was probably just sitting in the bottom of my bag.” Another lie.

“Really? ‘Cause it was right on the top of all your things.” He tilted his head at you.

“Could you just give it back?” You tried to grab it again, you nearly lost your balance doing so, you held onto the doorway for support.

“Tell me why you brought it first.” He chuckled, finding your weak attempts to take it from him amusing.

“Give it back-” You made the mistake of letting go of the doorway completely when you tried to reach out for it again, you lost all balance and your body started heading for the floor.

You were stopped by a large arm wrapping around your waist, causing an extreme amount of pain due to the pressure against your bruised body, but preventing you from getting any more from the wooden floor. You cried out in pain as his arm hooked around you, bringing your back to his chest.

“Shit! Sorry! Did I hurt you? Are you alright?” Fred's voice was full of panic and his eyes widened in fear, worrying that he made your condition worse. Even though the pressure hurt on your body, it was kind of nice. The proximity was kind of nice, you felt almost safe for a second.

Then you had to remind yourself, this was Fred Weasley.

“I’m fine.” You grunted out, turning to face him. His arms still lingered on you, holding the sides of your shoulder. “Can you let go of me?” Fred ripped his hands away from you, muttering another apology.

You stumbled slightly and held onto the railing next to you for stability once you were free from his grasp.

“Here. I’ll let you have it back.” He held the necklace out in front of you. You hesitantly grabbed it from him, waiting for him to dart his hand away again, he didn’t.

The necklace sat tangled in the palm of your hand. You sighed and rubbed your thumb over the splits in the moonstone.

“Maybe my mum might be able to fix it. I can see if she will. She probably can if you want!” He babbled.

“No, no. It’s fine.” You were obviously upset, now Fred felt guilty.

There was a moment of silence, Fred looking at you, you looking at the damaged gem.

“My dad said he’d call your parents once you wake up, so I guess I’ll tell him.” He exited himself from the conversation, moving backwards towards the stairs.

“Yeah.” You nodded, letting him go. He turned and began to walk down.

“Hey.” You stopped him, he turned and looked at you, his brows raised in concern.

“Just because you got me out of there doesn’t mean we’re friends now..or that I don’t hate you anymore.”

“Noted.” Fred gave a tight lipped smile before making his way down the staircase.

You went home within the next hour. Your parents didn’t trust getting you home by apparating because of your condition. So Mr.Weasley let them use their car.

Your parents took you to a muggle hospital for some reason, to get a “proper cast” on.

They never really did trust mending spells for broken bones, especially after what happened to Harry Potter in his second year. No one really knew if Brackium Emendo was an actual spell anyways.

Whatever. The next day you were already getting an abundance of cards.

From Cedric, apologizing that he couldn’t help you and was carried away by the crowd. From Mr. and Mrs.Weasley. Even Ron, Harry, and Hermione sent one, but they were just simple “Get Well Soon!” cards from the store.

The only letter that stuck out to you was from the twins. Hidden inside another small gift box.

You unraveled the ribbon that held the box together, popping off the lid, a small folded piece of paper sat on top.

Bruise cream. Homemade by yours truly! It’ll get rid of those nasty marks! Not completely, but it’ll fade them!

Love, Gred & Forge.

P.S. It won’t turn you into a canary (hopefully).

You let out a breathy laugh at the message. Under the wrapping was a white tube, a piece of painters tape over it and bold letters written with a black marker saying: BRUISE CREAM

Another small piece of paper with instructions came along with it.

You inspected the tube, still not trusting it. They wouldn’t prank you while you were injured like this, right?

The only bad thing could happen is that it doesn’t work and messes your skin up.

You took the risk and squeezed a small amount out, you chose a smaller and less prominent bruise to rub the cream onto.

You did as the instructions said and waited about two minutes before wiping it off, as the instructions stated. And it worked. The bruise was completely gone, no evidence of it ever being there.

The cream worked on your bigger and dark bruises, it didn’t get rid of them entirely, but it made them faint and less noticeable.

The only problem was it didn’t get rid of the soreness from where the bruises were, and it sure as hell couldn’t fix broken bones.

You wished it would, you didn’t know how you would be able to use your quill with a giant cast covering most of your hand.

You’ll figure something out. All you have figured out is that you’ll have this damn thing on for the next six weeks. Great.

You thought about writing a letter back to the twins, thanking them. But you couldn’t write and you hated them, what they did was nice, but you still hated them.

In the living room, the Daily Prophet sat on the small coffee table in front of the couch.

It was already reporting about the attack at the Quidditch World Cup. The Dark Mark in the sky. The muggle family you saw being tortured. Even some about how Harry was left behind and saw it too.

A heavy sigh of exhaustion left your body, you absolutely knew it would be all you'd hear when you went back to school.

And you were not ready for it.

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[that-spider-fan-over-there]

BNHA 428: This chapter made me annoyed and yet it was still somewhat better than I expected?

Himichako. I like it, it's a good ship- not one I'm crazy about, but the vision is compelling. I mean, the loved girl on hard times who admires honesty but represses her feelings + hunger motifs, and the formerly wealthy and rejected girl who's honest to herself but masks her sadness from others + drinking motifs? Being so similar at their core from selfishness, bleeding love, admiration and imitation? Yeah, why not, sign me up, it looks fun.

(plus Ochako needed a subplot that would shy away from Izuku because oh boi her writing is messy-)

Then the ending annoucement happened and I immediately went "oh no" when I remembered that tidbit. But. Yesterday, I remembered this page from 424, which in hindsight makes sense:

Shoto moving forward and choosing to not dwell on his past anymore, because he wants to know the man he wants to become alongside his family of choice.

Spinner feeling so much grief for Tomura inside his room, his extra Quirks add up to it. Further gut points as it was all because of AFO, but the wrong person is getting the blame.

Ochako looking lost and dissatisfied, not really saying anything about Himiko's status; then her hidden injury which left a scar that'll never go away, nothing can change that.

And then, well, a sky with a chance to fight for a "bright future". Which is the most ambiguous you can get for anything, really, sequel or not.

(sidenote: is it me or the panel where she's touching her stab wound looks like a tangent line?)

Okay so, I went into the chapter, with Pikahlua's translations. It was A Chapter alright-

If it wasn't the antepenultimate chapter, the "filler" would've been welcomed. But I guess it means we should focus on the smaller details, I guess? Like that 1st year saying Izuku filled him with courage and Izuku immediately thinking of Spinner's pain? Yeah he hates himself and that people call him a hero, when he considers himself a murderer, and will never forgive himself for failing Tenko, therapy for him and everyone in Class 2-A please- yeah it was a fun detail. Also the throb of hiding your pain of "defeating" someone you wanted to save but in the end everything is miserable but everyone else is happy and you don't wanna be a bother. Fun.

Also I wasn't the one to point the out, but looking at the uniform (U.A. uniform blazer for boys + the tie with a dot for girls), the student who's a Izuku fan is probably trans/gnc, which I appreciate a lot :D (Damn Izuku attracts so many queer people I wonder if that's a sign- /hj)

Also, I guess Class A stating "[Bakugou], Midoriya and Todoroki were at the heart of it all" then focusing on Ochako is good foreshadowing on how her own battle wasn't fully recorded? It's like saying in the end her fight didn't matter, but the other ones went "well", so she's trying (and slowly failing) to keep her sadness at bay because, well, everyone's happy, so who cares? Another "throb".

I thought since the Todoroki family issues are out in the open, didn't they record the whole thing? Then I re-read it, they only saw the family stopping Touya from exploding. So they didn't see Shoto trying to talk to Touya, which means none of the LoV were humanized. Fuck's sake.

After that, I get focusing on the first years and civilians wanting to help and all, but it feels like a repeat of everything seconds before Jakku, so I assume it's a way for them to pretend things are normal? But not-quite-quoting Katsuki (<- which I will point out for my sake is very much alive and well and- oh boi LFtR will kill me) and Edgeshot here because it made me smile:

"Will you...go back to the way you were?" "I plan to attain something greater than what I was originally!"

So, yeah I suppose he'll be fine eventually. (Best J. really loving Edgeshot even as a worm, honestly, goals)

Again with Izuku remembering saying "[He'll] bring it all back" and apologizing for "not keeping his promise" and others telling him to not blame himself and they can reconstruct as many times as it takes. Again, gave me a little smile, but not for long-

Finally, Ochako pretending things are fine. Hello there, Sports Festival/Provisional License!Ochako I missed you- /hj (I miss the dorms era in general, actually.)

So... *sigh* Full disclosure: I wasn't looking forward to Himichako as we were getting 5/10 pages for the "conclusions" in the previous two, I thought Ochako would be off about Himiko being depressed about the League. But since she's MIA, red flags are now red herrings, and it's better than the dead outcome. If Ochako got another person dying in her arms that'd just break her character.

A blood transfusion takes hours, she couldn't been doing that for more than 20min, if it was gonna kill anyone it'd be Ochako. Either Himiko ran away or got arrested, and Ochako feels guilty because she doesn't know if she's dead or not. Not great, but until I see a corpse she ain't dead. Besides: Touya, Shoto, Edgeshot, Katsuki, Toshinori, Ochako herself, all physically hurt unlike her, and yet they live.

And then we have Izuku showing up. I'm upset he used OFA embers for this, but eh, it's Izuku, do I expect anything else?

Rolling with the assumption Himiko died (like our POV characters), Izuku would need to face his own failure in Ochako- Failed to save two people like she failed Himiko, but it'd be so. Empty. Ochako was true to herself, while Izuku gave nothing but "I want to save that crying kid" while fighting Tenko. The most they can do is bond with "failing" and "this isn't what we fought for". This is not really a moment where he can be a shoulder to cry on, it'd come across as hypocritical /neg.

The only way it could make sense it without being shallow on Mr. Control = Repress Your Heart's part (as he didn't open up to the two people who died in "his watch") is Ochako telling how Himiko loved yet seeing him repressing this part of his is idiotic? She likes people who are true to themselves, which Izuku hasn't been for ages, leading to him realizing something. I thought it'd be through a DvsK3 but. I'll take it, two chapters left, I just want his thoughts (and for them to talk but that can happen in the last one).

They only recorded Shoto stopping Touya from being a suicidal bomb, Ochako floating a bunch of Twice!Himiko clones and Izuku entering a coccon, popping out armless, getting them back, punching Tenko to death. The "I want to save [them]" wasn't registered, it makes sense they're (well, Izuku and Ochako mostly) weirded out about this, dissatisfied like most readers are (sidenote: why when it comes to the trio either Ochako or Shoto get sidelined? So much could tie their stories together and yet-)

It's still a tough pill. I'm not a villain stan, just wondering if those fights were for nothing- the humanity of Tenko and Himiko? Can't be proved for anyone else, since they weren't recorded.

And I don't know if anyone saw the same thing, but those "city lights" look like the bubbles from Ochako's awakening, maybe we'll get a Blackwhip or Entrance Exam callback? Maybe it's what the tagline meant by "hidden feelings", since she unlocked it to reach Himiko and doesn't think anyone would understand why. I hope it's just a nice visual though.

If Himiko is truly dead though... You know, I headcannoned the characters were telling the story through confessionals/recordings to register it to the world so they'd learn from that, but I guess the interviews Aizawa was talking about seemed more likely, which. Well it's something, but I thought it'd be everyone instead of just Class A. Idk. The idea the LoV didn't change anything, or that they did change things but don't get to see it, is bitter.

So uh. Yeah, those are my thoughts. I'm not sure how to feel about it, on one hand I want Izuku to finally open up but on the other, it feels like it'll be at Himiko and Ochako's expense by involving him in something that's theirs now. And there's a chance we'll get the "nothing is fine" from Ochako- god I'm fearing the discourse next week already :DDDD

... Man, and this is a bad timing to be in the fandom, considering the LFtR episode airs this Saturday (which will be yesterday by the time this post goes up and I'll be crying about that instead-), so uh. Yeah, this fandom will be emotionally devastated for two reasons XD

Okay, so I'll try ending this on a more optimistic note: I think Himiko is alive, and Ochako just doesn't know it, which is why we're getting 0 confirmation and a breakdown. Izuku's confrontation with her can make or break this plot, but as long as 1) we acknowledge the emotional, different stakes between the Himichako fight and Tenko vs. Izuku one and 2) it doesn't end in a confession (and let's be real, it won't), then we're probably good (sadly, if you disregard the LoV status). I still think it's an ass pull for the camera battery to go out though.

But no matter how this goes: C'mon, two chapters left now, this one was wasted on the first years, smh, let this sequel hopium be a reality I wanna know who's the 425 guy, not the poor first year who's gonna replace Shindo Yo in fanfics- /hj

[mybiasisexo]

Entangled - Part 8

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Chapter Warnings: Language   Word Count: 5k Author Notes: okay, I feel like this is lowkey a filler chapter 😭. but I like it so idk lmao. so much has happened since I last updated. I quit my old job, got a new one (that's kicking my ass. pray for me) had my bday and saw Beyonce 3 times!! but yeah as always sorry for the delay, hope you like the chapter and feel free to lmk what you thought!!! I loooove feedback and y'alls commentary!!! makes my damn day!! have fuuuuuun~!

You come to the following morning from what is possibly the best sleep you’ve gotten in years. A yawn escapes you as you stretch your tender body.

The action has you aware of something not moving around you, and you glance down to see a heavy arm thrown over your waist. As if the owner of the limb can sense your attention, it constricts, pulling you closer to a heat behind you.

Startled, you tense up, not even daring to breathe as you carefully roll onto your back and then turn your head the rest of the way until you’re knocking your nose gently against Chanyeol’s.

He’s in a deep slumber. Gentle snores leave his slightly parted lips, and his features are relaxed. He looks so peaceful, so serene, so…content. It melts your heart. You can’t help but stare at him, noticing the way his silky tawny hair falls across his pillow and the stubble poking out of his chin that grew in from the night before.

The night before….

Your eyes widen at the reminder and you’re sitting straight up, causing Chanyeol’s arm to fall limply on your lap.

Oh, you’ve really done it now.

Chanyeol stirs, and you think you’ve woken him, but he just rolls onto his other side, revealing his naked back to you.

Harsh rows of red raised skin catch your attention–the proof of how good a lover he is. Even though you know to some men, Chanyeol included, the scratches are a badge of honor, you only feel remorse from causing him pain.

His lack of clothing has you aware of your current state of undress and you quickly pull the thin sheet over your chest. It’s a silly action. Chanyeol’s sleeping, but even if he was awake, he’s seen your breasts plenty of times, had them in his goddamn mouth last night for christ’s sake.

Still, you must at least try to preserve some dignity.

You dare another glance at the man beside you, as if he’s a figment of your imagination that will vanish once you’re in your right mind. He doesn’t go away, so you must be really out of it.

Groaning, you drop your head, hitting your forehead repeatedly with the palm of your hand.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Fucking your ex fiance was the last thing you had planned to do on this trip. Getting closure? Sure. Making peace? The least you could have done. Now? Things have become even more complicated. Which is pretty impressive given everything that has transpired over the last couple days. And Yerim…. God, Yerim. She hasn’t even been gone twenty-four hours and you’ve already jumped her man’s bones. Sure, he was yours first, but it’s the principle of the thing.

Shit, maybe you are the problem.

As if you aren’t already about to dive in a pool of panic, a memory from the night before decides to reveal itself. The knowledge has you gasping, staring unseeingly ahead of you in terror.

Did you tell Chanyeol you loved him?

Oh, god. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, you gotta get out of here.

Feeling nauseous, you stumble out of the bed, crumbling to the ground the minute you put weight on your legs. Your bambi legs are a byproduct of Chanyeol’s pleasurable menstrations, having you literally weak in the knees. You shake your head and push through the slight throbbing of your core, standing carefully on shaky legs. Chanyeol chooses this moment to toss back around so that he’s facing you again. The arm that was around you earlier flops forward to reclaim its position, but lands on egyptian cotton instead. His eyebrows scrunch together as his hand idly runs over the empty space–searching for you. Feeling bad, you pull down a pillow. His fingers find it and yank it towards him, curling into it like a toddler with his favorite teddy bear. Your name leaves his mouth in a content breath, and all the turmoil in you dissipates for a moment. Maybe you’re overreacting? Yerim won’t be too mad, right? And Chanyeol still wants you, right? Last night meant something to him?

Did it mean something to you?

You can’t even think about that right now. Truth is you have no idea where you stand, and are even more confused than before the wedding. You’ve blurred the lines and anything can mean anything.

What you do know is that you need to leave, and you need to do it before Chanyeol wakes up. You can’t face him right now, not before you understand your emotions and actions.

“Focus,” you order yourself. You scan the floor that is now a mess of discarded garments, and a shimmer of gold catches your eye. You snatch it up, only to find it’s Chanyeol’s tie. You stare at it, remembering the way he demanded you to undress him, and drop it like it shocked you, shivering from the memory. That is definitely not what you’re looking for. 

There. A little further you find your dress and underwear. You slide them on quickly, not bothering to zip up your dress. You’re only going a few doors down, so you only hold it against your chest.

Despite telling yourself to focus, you can’t stop thinking about your confession. Obviously it was the lust speaking, the nostalgia. Yeah, that’s all that was.

Chanyeol never said it back.

The epiphany straightens your back, and you startle as you lock eyes with yourself in the floor length mirror directly in front of you. The woman before you is tragic, her hair poofy and stiff, eyes rimmed black, face puffy and nose still red from crying. You look like the clown you are.

You shudder, truly haunted, and head out. You pause by the door to slip into your shoes and grab your purse. Your heels have a buckle, but you can’t risk wasting any more time, so you don’t bother securing them. 

You open the door and a choir of angels begin to sing.

Their joyous voices die with a record scratch at the sight of Byun Baekhyun standing on the opposite end, fist up as though he’s about to knock.

You can’t catch a break.

He takes you in, visibly shocked. He says your name in a dramatic loaded question and you wince at his volume, bouncing off the walls. Damn, this is not good.

“What are you doing here?” He asks accusingly.

You quickly peek over your shoulder, checking to see if your new visitor is loud enough to wake Chanyeol. He doesn’t stir, and you can’t fight the pride that blooms in you. You wore that man out!

Shaking the emotion off, you turn back to Mr. Loud Mouth in front of you.

“Hush,” you hiss, shoving him back with the arm not currently holding both your dress, and what little you have left of your sanity, together. You make sure the door closes with a gentle ‘click’ before grabbing Baekhyun’s arm, dragging him the couple doors down to your suite. He yelps and asks where you’re ‘kidnapping’ him. It’s easy to ignore his helpless cries with the obnoxious sound of your heels slapping against your feet. 

Once in front of your door, you dig through your purse for your key, forgetting you didn’t secure your dress. The top half flutters down, titties basking in the breeze.

You freeze, eyes closing tightly as you bite your bottom lip so hard you think you’re going to bite it off. Your only saving grace is that Baekhyun is behind you, obscuring his view of your private bits.

You hear him huff in annoyance before he’s brushing your hair out of the way, gathering your dress, zipping it up as far as it can go with your arms not in the sleeves.

“Thank you,” you whisper, face burning in shame. Dejectedly, you find the key and get you both in. You kick your clacky shoes off, not wanting to draw unwanted attention, and lead Baekhyun to your room. You rest your forehead against the door as you close it, giving yourself a moment to just breathe.

Once you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you’re good, you turn around and face your friend. He’s taken residence in your vanity chair, searching your frazzled figure with worry. You can only imagine what you must look like from his point of view.

Finally, he musters the courage to speak. “You look….”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“Okay…. Would you care to explain why you were running out of Chanyeol’s room like you robbed him? In your wedding clothes, no less, first thing this morning?”

You rub your eyes. To be honest, no, you didn’t want to have this conversation. Especially with Baekhyun. No offense to the guy, you adore him, but he’s not really known for taking things seriously. Except… right now it does appear he’s taking this situation very seriously. Although there is a hint of playfulness in his tone, you can’t see any of it on his face, only genuine concern.

Defeated, you sigh and march to your bed, plopping down onto the edge to bury your face in your hands.

“We had sex.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell,” he answers sarcastically. You glare at him through your fingers. He grins in reply, but it’s soft, reassuring, letting you know that everything will be okay.

It slips from his face as a thought occurs to him. “You weren’t drunk, were you?”

You shake your head and he lets out a relieved breath.

“Quite the opposite. It was probably the most sober decision I’ve made this whole trip.”

“So, what went wrong?”

“I just….” You recall your confession and wince, stomach flipping with embarrassment. “We ended up running into each other in the elevator and went to his room. We were only supposed to talk. But, I don’t know. You know the wedding was a lot for us both. And this trip has been very stressful and tense and we haven’t been alone since we got here and maybe that was for good reason because obviously we couldn’t handle that if–”

“You’re rambling,” he interrupts.

You take a deep breath. 

“I told him I loved him,” you push out before you can regret admitting it. It sounds even worse spoken out loud.

“And?” He asks, skeptically.

You blink in surprise at his reply. “And he, well, he didn’t say it back.”

You avoid his gaze and bring your knees to your chest and nibble on your thumbnail anxiously, waiting for Baekhyun’s response to the new detail. You must have rendered him speechless, because he remains silent. Either that, or he’s trying to figure out the best way to let you down on Chanyeol’s behalf. That makes you stiffen your shoulders, bracing yourself for the cold dose of reality. It never comes, and his lack of response drags until you think you’re going to explode.

Finally, you whip your head up to him exasperatedly just to see him looking at you like you’re the dumbest bitch he’s ever seen.

“What?” You snap, hating how condescending his expression is.

He rolls his eyes at your tone and lets out a laugh coated in disbelief, rubbing his forehead. “I love you, but you’re stupid.”

“I know,” you sulk, pouting as you rest your chin on your knees. “I wasn’t thinking straight, obviously. I got too caught up in the moment. Being with him like that, it brought me back to the good ol’ days, when we were falling in love. But, we’re not in college anymore. We’re not the same people we were when we were together.”

You furrow your brows, really trying to untangle your thoughts. It’s a lot easier to do with someone to look at.

“That’s what it is. I mean, how can I still love a man I don’t know? I can still have lingering feelings for the man I used to know, though. Maybe having sex was a good thing? All that leftover tension between us can finally rest. Yeah, that’s what last night was–left over tension. Now that we’ve done the deed, we should be good now. Sure, we still need to have a talk, there’s still some things we need to address to fully move on, but I think the hardest part has passed.”

You search your friend’s face for the right answer. “Right?”

His lips thin and then he’s sighing. “Do you want to know what I think?”

You nod miserably, thoughts too chaotic to decipher any logic.

Baekhyun stands up and walks over to you, reaching out to rub your arms comfortingly. In a gentle murmur he says, “I think you need some breakfast.”

A surprised chuckle leaves you as you lean forward, resting your forehead against his stomach. “You’re probably right.”

You relax under his touch, and you both stay like that. His hands go from your shoulders to your back, rubbing soothing circles onto your skin. The repetitive trail makes you drowsy.

The door swings open.

“I thought I heard you co–OH MY GOD!”

Seulgi stands dumbfounded at the door, the hand not frozen on your door knob covers her hanging jaw. Shock coloring her face as she takes in the compromising sight before her.

Baekhyun stumbles quickly away from you, tripping over his feet in his haste.

“It's not what it looks like!” You defend. That’s literally the worst line you can possibly say to her.

“What the hell!” She squeaks. “What the fuck is happening right now!?”

“We were just about to get something to eat!” Baekhyun says, as if that explains anything.

“HUH?!” Seulgi starts fanning her reddening face. She turns to you, not even going to humor him. “Look, I know this weekend has been rough for you. I understand you wanting to distract yourself by getting underneath someone. But, to sleep with Baekhyun of all people–”

“Hey!” The man in question barks. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Seulgi, please,” you beg. Crawling off the bed, you stumble over to her. “That’s not what happened at all!”

Your words go through one ear and out the other as she glares at Baekhyun, who’s shivering in his metaphorical boots under her judging stare. “I can’t believe you would do this! Chanyeol is your best friend! Do you not care how this will affect him when he finds out?”

“We didn’t do anything,” you plead.

“Then explain what I just walked into! Explain why you look a damn mess! And are those–are those hickeys?”

“I HAD SEX WITH CHANYEOL!” You yell in her face.

“I–wait, what?” You can see the internal conversation she’s having with herself as she tries to comprehend what you just confessed to her. When your words have meaning, a look of sheer horror contorts her lovely features.

“You didn’t.” Her voice is low, threateningly so.

You gnaw at your bottom lip, even more anxious than when Baekhyun was questioning you. 

Your silence is an admission and she yells your name accusingly.

“I know!” You agree. “Please, I know!”

“I don’t understand. How? Why? I thought you were over him, or at least trying to be. I–”

“Hey,” Baekhyun cuts her off, joining your little party. He rests a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s let her take a shower and get into some clothes that don’t have cum stains on them. Then we can get breakfast. She can explain everything then.”

“There’s no cum on my dress,” you mumble with a frown.

“I know Chanyeol’s kinks,” Baekhyun says. You huff in defeat.

Seulgi’s cat shaped eyes bounce back and forth between you both skeptically. You can see all the questions she has running through her pretty head.

“Alright,” she reluctantly agrees. “Hurry and get ready. I’m starving.”

You have a feeling it’s not food she’s hungry for.

Baekhyun leads her out of your room, throwing you an apologetic look, and you wonder how many more times he’s going to look at you like that.

Nearly an hour later, you find yourself in a little unassuming mom and pop restaurant. Baekhyun’s grandmother lives on the island, so he knows all the local hot spots. The ajumma serving you is absolutely thrilled to see him, promising to put a bit more love in your food, which you can definitely taste upon your first bite. It is exactly what you need after the active night you’ve had.

“Yerim made it home safely,” Seulgi informs, not glancing up from her plate as she does.

Your lips thin at the mention of her sister, knowing she’s bringing her up on purpose.

You didn’t need her reminder. Yerim has been on your mind all morning.

“Yeah?” You finally answer. “Glad to hear. I’m sure she’ll hate me for good once she finds out what I did right after she left.”

“She’ll get over it,” Baekhyun is quick to dismiss.

“She’ll forgive you,” Seulgi allows. “But she’ll never forget.”

Leaning back, she finally gives you a sharp look. “What happened last night anyway?”

Luckily, you just so happen to scoop some food into your mouth when she asks that, so you take advantage and slow down your chewing. Aiming to enjoy every last bit, because you know it’s going to be the last time you’ll be able to. You swallow it down with some water, for good measure, taking your time chugging it empty. 

Seulgi watches in amusement, knowing what game you’re playing.

“Well,” you start, scratching behind your ear. “As you both already know, Chanyeol and I hooked up last night.”

“Hooked up?” Seulgi clarifies incredulously. It’s an interesting choice of words to describe what the two of you did.

Beside her, Baekhyun shakes his head, but keeps his opinions to himself, allowing you the floor.

“Yeah. And I want to say, for the record, that it was spontaneous. We just so happened to bump into each other when I was on my way back to the room. He asked me if I wanted to go to his room instead and I said yes–innocently! We were planning on just talking. And I mean, we did talk a bit?”

“Did you talk about Yerim?” Seulgi asks.

“No….” You avoid her stare and sink into your chair.

“Did you talk about your breakup?”

“No….”

Her eyes narrow. “So, what did you talk about?”

“About the wedding,” you answer like it’s obvious.

“And now it all makes sense.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You pout.

“The two of you have been tiptoeing around each other all weekend. I thought it was just the awkwardness of seeing an ex–in your case, an ex dating your friend. But I misread it. Now it’s pretty obvious that if it weren’t for Yerim, you would’ve probably slept with him sooner. It wasn’t awkwardness I felt, it was tension…the sexual kind.”

Your frown deepens. Were you seriously that weak? You thought you did a pretty damn good job resisting Chanyeol, but it only took three days to fall into his sheets. That wasn’t very strong of you at all. Seulgi is right. Yerim was the main reason for you keeping your distance, not your pride or your past. She had only been gone a few hours before you gave into him.

“Does that make me a terrible person?” You quietly ask.

“I don’t think so,” Baekhyun answers simply, shrugging when you lock eyes.

“It doesn’t,” Seulgi agrees, although she lets out a tired sigh right after. “But I still don’t understand why? It’s been years, girl, and you’ve never mentioned him once in that time. It’s been a while since you got laid, and even longer since it was with Chanyeol. Old habits die hard, and you didn’t get the closure you wanted, but sleeping with your ex seems so out of character for you.”

“He’s not just some ex, Seulgi,” Baekhyun intervenes. “He’s her ex fiance, and they didn’t break up on bad terms, necessarily. There’s still love there.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you interject, shifting in your seat uncomfortably. 

“So, it was just an old attraction? Old habits and all that?” Seulgi asks.

“I think so,” you say and she seems to melt in relief. “I think it was just left over sexual tension, and now that we’ve got it out of our system, we can be normal. We can move on.”

Baekhyun doesn’t seem convinced. “And you’re sure Chanyeol will agree with you?”

You shrug. “I don’t see why not. It was just sex.”

“It’s never ‘just sex’ with Chanyeol, and you know that. Especially when it comes to you.”

“You’d be surprised,” you mutter, mood dampening at the memory.

He doesn’t hear you. “And I know you’re lying. Didn’t you tell him you loved him last night?”

You glare at Baekhyun and he answers it with a smug smile, knowing he just set you up.

“You did what now?” Seulgi asks deadpan.

Internally you wince. “I might have told him I loved him while in the throes of passion.”

She says your name disapprovingly. 

“And you know what? He didn’t say it back. So, you see? It was nothing more than physical for him as well.”

Seulgi looks as though she has some words for you, but Baekhyun beats her to the punch.

“You both drive me insane,” he groans. “It’s obvious you both still care about each other, what’s the point of trying to talk yourself out of it? It’s never too late to try again, and trust me when I say Chanyeol wants to more than anything. He’s already asked you for a second chance. He wants this! He wants you!”

“He said all that when he was drunk off his mind, Baekhyun.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true!”

You groan and lean your head back against your chair, feeling the pressure of the world falling onto your shoulders. It hits you then, the weight of Chanyeol’s affection, and for a moment you’re back on that sidewalk, drowning in it. You remember why you left, remember the moment your love for him twisted into something dark. Chanyeol said you told him you hate him. Truth is, you had. With him back in your life, you forgot about that, forgot that there was another reason why you were trying to avoid him. Again, everything is even more confusing, and you find yourself at a total loss of what to do next.

“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by that,” Seulgi reassures. She knows you way more than you give her credit far. “Everything is happening so fast. You don’t have to make a decision right now, and honestly, I don’t think it’s wise for you to.”

You lift your head back up and take in your concerned friends. With the way they’re both sitting on either side of each other before you, it’s almost like they’re the angel and devil on your shoulders. One speaks for your heart, while the other speaks for your mind. Holding onto each of your hands and yanking you back and forth like a rope in tug-o-war. 

“I don’t know the right answer,” you whisper, feeling your eyes water in frustration.

“Whatever’s going to make you happy,” Baekhyun answers simply.

You cough a laugh and a tear escapes, but you’re quick to wipe it away.

“I think,” Seulgi begins, reaching over and grabbing your hand. “You should give each other space, and wait until you’re back in Seoul. It’s only a couple days, and it’ll give both of you time to figure out what exactly it is you want from each other. Do you have an idea of what that is? Is it a relationship? Closure? Or just physical connection?”

“I’m not sure,” you admit.

She tilts her head and raises her eyebrows. You understand. She’s right.

“That’s probably the best idea,” you relent.

Baekhyun grunts in disgust. “Doesn’t Chanyeol deserve a say in this?”

“Of course he does,” you say.

“But that’s a conversation for later,” Seulgi intrudes. “Preferably with others around.”

You lift your hands up in defeat. 

Now that your problem has been solved for now, you all go back to eating in a comfortable silence. Everything still tastes amazing, thank fuck.

Suddenly, Baekhyun straightens and turns to Seulgi. “What did you mean earlier anyways? When you said me of all people?”

She scoffs. “Besides the fact that you’re a weirdo? You’re Chanyeol’s best friend. If you had slept together, it would be the deepest betrayal to him. But, if she had slept with any of you, my reaction would be the same. The only other person I could possibly see her with is Sehun, and even then….”

“Ew,” you both finish.

“I love all of you,” you say. “But not like that.”

“It’s the same for me too!” Baekhyun admits. “I would never do that to Chanyeol, because I would never do that, period. Don’t ever put that disgusting idea in anyone’s head again!”

“No problem!” Seulgi says, resolute.

You finish breakfast soon after that and leave for the hotel. Today is the first day of your little             reunion tour. Sehun figured that everyone would be too hungover to do anything that required movement, so you’re all just going to hang out at the beach and watch the sunset. Sounds like the perfect Sunday to you.

You all left your phones in the car, so the first thing you do once buckled up is check your notifications, reading the texts in the groupchat confirming some of the others were heading out to the beach and the location they chose. Baekhyun winces as he scans his device, catching your attention. When you lock eyes, he gives you that pitiful smile, almost like a warning, before turning his screen for you to read. It’s filled with texts and missed calls from Chanyeol.

“Oh boy,” is all you can muster, trying not to linger too much on the only message you can read: ‘please. I’m begging’.

“What’s up?” Seulgi asks from the backseat. Baekhyun proceeds to show her his phone and she shakes her head in dismay.

“Should I call him?” He asks.

“No,” you’re quick to reply. Avoiding his gaze, you settle into your seat, staring blindly out the windshield. You feel him watching you for a moment before sighing and starting the car, pulling out to drive you back to the hotel.

The elevator ride is long. You wonder if Chanyeol will be in the hallway when it opens. Baekhyun leans against the wall, rapidly firing off texts the whole way up. It takes everything in you not to ask him what he’s telling Chanyeol to calm him down. 

The doors open, and you’re both relieved and crushed to enter an empty hall. Baekhyun walks you both to your room, which is polite, but you all know is a front. His room isn’t on this floor, and you don’t need him to walk you back.

“Where are you going?” You can’t help but to ask.

He grins guiltily and nudges his head towards Chanyeol’s room. “I’m going to check on him. That’s why I came up here in the first place.”

“Right….”

He pats your shoulder. “Get ready and head down to the beach. I’m sure you got Jongdae’s text in the groupchat. Both him and Jongin are already setting up camp.”

“Don’t take too long,” Seulgi says in farewell before pulling you into the suite.

As soon as the door closes, she’s holding you by the shoulders, staring deep into your eyes. “You can’t go back on your word now.”

“I’m not,” you say, cringing as the way it sounds like a lie.

Her grip on you tightens. “It’s all going to work out. Don’t get all sulky.”

“I’m not.”

She smiles. “You’re such a terrible liar. It’s kind of cute.”

“Stop flirting with me,” you sigh, grabbing her hands to hold them instead. “I’m going to take your advice. We need space.”

“Space,” she repeats approvingly, rubbing your knuckles with her thumbs.

Banging on your door causes you both to jump.

“Yeol, stop it! I already told you they’re not there!”

“I need to know for sure.”

You swallow thickly at the sound of Chanyeol’s voice.

You hear Baekhyun sigh and then Chanyeol call your name, which jerks you closer to the door. Seulgi grips your hands harder, holding you back. You lock eyes. She shakes her head in warning.

“Are you in there?” He pauses briefly, waiting for you to reply. You hold your breath, afraid in the silence he can hear your heart’s rapid beating. “Please, open the door, Mel. I just… I just need to see you.”

His voice is calm, but alarmed, as if he’s trying not to sound as desperate as he feels. He knocks again, the reps urgent, giving away the worry he’s trying to disguise.

“I just need you to tell me everything’s okay.” Now his voice cracks.

Fuck it. You can’t avoid him forever. You go to open the door, but Seulgi’s hold is surprisingly strong and you can’t break it.

“Space, remember?” She whispers.

You didn’t know that started now. 

Reluctantly, you relax, leaning your head on Seulgi’s shoulder. She wraps her arms around you, rubbing your back as you wait for Baekhyun to do his job in getting Chanyeol away.

“I can’t do this again, man,” Chanyeol’s broken voice comes through the door. “I can’t lose her again. Not like this.”

“I know, Dude.” Baekhyun sounds just as helpless, and a wave of guilt washes over you from putting him in this position. “But, she’s not in there. Let’s go to my room so I can change. It won’t take long, so don’t even think of ditching me!”

A silence drags on for so long you’re sure they’ve left. 

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun urges.

“I–okay. Let’s go.”

You hear them retreat and let out a breath.

Seulgi whistles. “Quite the mess you’ve made.”

You swallow the lump in your throat. “You can say that again.”

“Hey,” She rubs your arm. “He’s going to be fine. Let’s change. I’m sure you’re now very eager to get down there.”

You let her lead you to your room. The whole time you can’t get over the pain in Chanyeol’s voice, a pain that you caused.

series m.list | main m.list

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taglist @byunparklimchoi, @defloey @notyuji @hisungovenaocare

[rmorde]

Trigun Manga Reaction

Now reading Volume 1 Chapters 7!

Oh. Nice foreshortening!

Have I mentioned before that the art in the manga is amazing? I mean not only is it pretty but the techniques and the visual storytelling!

This manga really spoils me rotten with beautiful double spreads.

Was Trigun a weekly manga or a monthly comic in the 90's? Like, how is this level of quality maintained every chapter?!

This sweet apologetic smile. Baby Girl Vash. SOMEONE PLEASE PROTECT HIM!!!

I love this part because of how the "tech" looks. Maybe I'm just high on nostalgia but if you ask me, the best and most creative visual takes of futuristic technology are from the 90's. OK... 70s to 80's too. BUT 90'S ARE THE BEST!

LMAO! I remember this! Vash loves teasing his enemies with cheeky notes, doesn't he?

Dime novels??? Penny dreadfuls?? Gasp! HARLEQUINS?!!

DOES THE SETTING OF TRIGUN HAVE AN EQUIVALENT OF HARLEQUINS?! IF SO, I'D BE SO HAPPY BECAUSE I HAVE THIS HC ABOUT WOLFWOOD'S FASHION CHOICE BEING CONNECTED TO THOSE RAUNCHY CHEAP ROMANCE NOVELS!!!

Also, another amazing nightmare face! But then...

WHIPLASH! Vash adding levity by hyping himself up. Tho more likely, he is telling the truth. Not that anyone would really believe it with the facade he puts up.

Oh, wait. I only notice this just now. The Vash's glove design in the manga is what was used in in Tristamp. Only three fingers are covered. In '98, it was all of his fingers are concealed by the glove.

AH! I REMEMBER THIS! ESPECIALLY HOW IT ENDS! I'm laughing already. Kaite... is not the best navigator.

Ah Classic Vash. Deflect. Deflect. Deflect.

Oh... This scene. It's kinda scary how catching Vash off guard is deadly for his attacker. Really highlights how much he has to control all himself all the time. Killing is too easy for him with his abilities. So, he has to exercise strict disciple and caution for the sake of others all the time.

This is also sad. A kid telling off an adult for not wanting to kill. It really hammers down how awful their world is - that killing is the norm and logical thing to do. Avoiding violence and killing is seen as stupidity.

This page makes my heart hurt for so many reasons. Vash is suffering physical pain from being shot. However, I think what is more devastating is his ideals being questioned and insulted by a child - someone who should be innocent from the concept of taking lives.

Vash was hurt by what Kaite said. But, I think he also understands why he did it too. It was out of both worry and the unfortunate circumstance of their violent word. Hence, his intense glare at the top of the page then softening into a sheepish look at the bottom.

Oh wow. Another beautiful art and amazing composition and...

Rem just has strong presence in the manga, doesn't she? It's something that was in Tristamp but kind of lessened in '98.

Oh... I wish this had not been cut out from '98. I don't think this can be rehashed in Tristamp, can't it? Damn... it deserves to be animated.

Kudos for '98 in doing a great job animating this page.

Boo for not doing justice for this page, '98! WHAT THE HELL?! Why was Rem not featured a lot in '98?! At least, Tristamp made up for it... BUT I LIKE REM'S LONG HAIR DESIGN BETTER!

HAHAHAHAHA!

AH.... Ah? AHHHH?!

Fuck! I forgot. This was not supposed to be funny?! Why did I remember this scene is funny?!

Also:

@poofyphluff 

I read about the filler thing. Didn't expect it to be that much. And yeah, I'm really admiring Nightow's skills with scaling in his art. It really enhances his visual story telling.

@revenantghost

It is slowly dawning on me the differences between '98 and the manga PLUS the similarities between Tristamp and manga.

I guess my memory is not as accurate as I believe. I thought the OOC-ness from '98 is not that much yet. I thought Vash being a horndoggy perv is just a Badlands thing. It's really nice that it is nowhere here in the manga tho and Tristamp.

It begs the question tho, why make Vash like that in '98?

Oh. So Wolfwood's situation and I guess the '98 ending is similar to what happened with the first Fullmetal Alchemist anime? The studio was forced to do an AOE.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Feel better soon.

[electronickingdomfox]

"Bloodthirst" review

It's Resident Evil, but the zombies are vampires!!

Novel from 1987, by J. M. Dillard. Kind of a retread of her previous novel ("Demons"), but substituting demonic possesion with vampires. Of course, there's nothing supernatural going on, but a scientific explanation behind everything. I found it less scary than the previous entry, though it's in the same spirit of horror story, this time with a political background as well.

The initial setting is intriguing, even though it's fairly obvious what's going on and who are the villains, from the earliest chapters. The ending is also exciting, and reminded me of an actual TOS episode. The problem is the rest of the novel, and by that I mean like 90%. I had the impression of reading chapter after chapter of barely anything but filler. Kirk does little more than talking through the terminal with this or that. McCoy does little more than telling Kirk "they're close to find a vaccine" and fretting over Chapel's sickness. Spock does... nothing, really. The fact that the story was extended artificially to a breaking point is obvious by the fact it takes the crew SEVERAL DAYS to find an intruder in the ship (an intruder who wears a red cape, is sick and insane, and screams in pain every time light touches him). This with a crew of more than 400 persons, and with the full security team activated at all times (what the hell!?).

To add more padding to it, there are lengthy scenes focused on a group of redshirts. Now I don't have a problem with original characters having their spotlight if they're interesting and play some role. But these guys just reflect about their High School dramas, and they don't have a distinct role compared to any other redshirt: that is, being attacked and suffer a lot. The other characters are a mixed bag. The most interesting is probably Adams, the "vampire", and the passages that follow his sinister deeds are the only ones that keep the plot moving, in that stale middle section. Kirk is serviceable. In particular his friendship with Admiral Quince felt like the real thing. And he gets to do some of his cunning negotiations at the end. McCoy on the other hand... Look, this author makes him funny on occassion, but in my opinion, she has a REALLY odd idea of the character. From the "dirty old man" trait, to his clumsiness and cowardice. The guy who would offer himself for torture in "The Empath" is here scared shitless at the prospect of it (well, he's scared of dark corridors too, so...). Fortunately, there's no Mary Sue on sight this time. Unfortunately, there's still the obligatory romance "out-of-left-field" for McCoy, that this author seems so fond of. This time in the shape of... Christine Chapel??? We're suppossed to believe that she's not just the closest person to McCoy (closer even than Kirk!), but that all this time, they've been repressing romantic feelings for each other. And that Chapel isn't really attracted to Spock, but only chose him because he'd never return her feelings... Yeah, weeell, how about... NO.

Other random weird bits: Nobody knows what a vampire is in the 23rd century (only Chekov has heard about this legend, that had survived for hundreds of years so far). And a crippled Enterprise can only manage to go at warp 9! (c'mon Scotty, I'm sure you can do better than this shitty, fast-as-fuck warp 9 speed...). Spoilers under the cut:

The Enterprise receives a distress signal from a scientific station at planet Tanis, but upon beaming down, they just find a deserted lab, two dead scientists missing most of their blood, and a single survivor: Dr. Jeffrey Adams. Adams looks gaunt and is obviously suffering some kind of disease that makes light painful for him. He's brought to sickbay, and needs continous blood transfusions to survive. But when Kirk interrogates him, suspecting the scientists were doing illegal research on biowarfare, Adams says they were just working on agricultural projects and that the other two commited suicide. Nonetheless, the evidence at the station points to Adams as the murderer, and it seems he had drunk the blood of the victims too. The fact that Admiral Rodrigo Mendez, head of weapons research, is awfully interested in destroying any trace of the virus, and quickly bringing Adams to trial, makes it all the more suspicious. However, the landing party is unable to recover any sample of a virus at the station, and records had been destroyed, so the Enterprise starts travelling to the nearest starbase.

After being informed of this, Adams accuses Mendez of being the mastermind behind the virus development, and begs Kirk to not surrender him to Mendez, since the admiral wants to kill him. Kirk is unwilling to believe at first that Mendez, or any other top brass at Starfleet, would be involved in such deadly project. Besides, upon learning that one of the dead researchers was Mendez's son, he dismisses the admiral's behavior as natural resentment. Nonetheless, Kirk contacts his friend, Admiral Quince Waverleigh, at Starfleet HQ, to see if he can unearth some dirty laundry among the top brass.

Meanwhile, Adams attempts an escape from his isolation chamber at sickbay, and injures Chapel, drinking some blood from her head wound. Adams doesn't go far under the light. But Chapel has contracted the disease, which is contagious upon contact, and slowly slips into a coma. In the end, McCoy realizes that Chapel has died, and disconnects life support. And there's a lot of drama about this, but since the reader can probably guess where this is leading to, and what the solution will be, the scene doesn't have all that much impact. Apart from this, Spock has recovered some info from the fragmentary records at the station, that tell about a Vulcan researcher who had also died at an earlier point. This suggests that there was, in fact, two versions of the virus: a first one that was deadly to Vulcans (and thus, Romulans too), and the current mutation (probably accidental) which is deadly to humans. This deepens Spock's suspicions about Mendez, since he had lost his wife in a Romulan attack.

Once in the starbase, Adams is brought to a detention cell, which he promptly escapes again, this time more successfully. First, he attacks a guard and steals her red cape, to better protect himself from the light, as well as a device that blocks tricorder readings. After this, Adams kidnaps Lisa (a redshirt on shore leave), and forces her to ask for a beam up directly to her quarters in the Enterprise, where he also attacks her and drinks her blood. And then comes a loooong period where everyone is searching frantically for Adams throughout the ship. And yeah, he can block tricorders, but it's not like he's invisible or anything... He goes as far as entering sickbay and stealing transfusion equipment to draw more blood! (his next victim being Stanger, another redshirt).

For his part, Admiral Quince starts noticing strange things going around him, ever since he started investigating: sudden personnel transfers, tampering with his terminal, etc. He sends Kirk a quick anonymous message, to warn him that things are looking ugly. Yet Kirk is unable to reach him afterwards, and later is notified of Quince's sudden death in an "accident". This is the last straw that convinces Kirk of Mendez's guilt, alongside a small clique of corrupt admirals. So he decides to lure him to Tanis and catch him red-handed there, with a bluff: he tells him that Adams has been captured and has spilled the beans about the R-virus (the incriminating Romulan strain), and that they have found the evidence at Tanis.

At sickbay, Ensign Stanger wakes up from the dead after having been infected. And even though he shows some early signs of "vampirism", his good side wins in the end, and he's able to protect his friend Lisa and capture Adams (at long last!). McCoy has also developed an effective vaccine, that he administers to the whole crew and Chapel, who's also waking up from the dead (but strangely enough, much slower than Stanger?). The modus operandi of the virus is thus revealed: at first, it sends the host into apparent death (actually, hybernation) while it consumes the bloodstream's heme; once the host is depleted of heme, he wakes up and starts craving blood and infecting others. (But I don't know, as a bioweapon, it doesn't seem so effective to me...).

In the final chapters, Spock and McCoy beam down to Tanis and confront Mendez, who demands the samples of the R-virus (which they actually don't have). But just then, a transporter beam captures them and they appear in a Romulan ship. As it turns out, Adams had contacted the Romulans, promising them the samples of both virus in exchange for his freedom. Kirk forces Adams to cooperate by refusing to give him the cure, until he tells them where's the R-virus, so Adams confesses: the original R-virus had been hidden all this time inside a locket that he wore around his neck. The Romulan commander threatens Kirk, saying that he'll kill Spock and McCoy if he doesn't surrender Adams. Yet Kirk tries to negotiate with him and buy time, now that he has the only sample in his hands, though the Romulan doesn't agree to destroy the sample. However, Spock, McCoy and Mendez had managed to escape from their cells in the meantime. And after a run through the enemy ship stunning Romulans (with McCoy closing his eyes every time he has to shoot, the poor devil), they manage to lower the shields and beam themselves to the Enterprise, which promptly warps away. In the transporter room, Mendez makes a last, desperate attempt to escape with Adams and the sample. But Spock tricks him into confessing everything, and then Kirk informs him that he's been monitored, and now Starfleet knows everything about his involvement in the illegal research. In the epilogue, Kirk reflects about his lost friend Quince. And there's a moving scene where he receives a posthumous gift, with a last message from his friend, telling him to not feel guilt about his death.

Spirk Meter: 0/10*. Kirk and Spock barely exchange a couple of lines throughout the novel.

There isn't a lot either in other departments. Spock and McCoy don't seem to like each other much, though McCoy asks Spock for company while disconnecting Chapel from life support. Though it's hard to read that as Spock/McCoy, when it's evident that McCoy's full concern is for Chapel in this book. Maybe, maaaaybe, one could read some McKirk in the final scene, when McCoy drinks with Kirk in his quarters and comforts him about Quince's death. But at this point, that's like begging for crumbs.

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.

tagged: @bonez-artistry

[nullbutler]

Masterpost of Projects

Hi! I'm Null! I make way too much stuff !! Here's a comprehensive list of everything I'm proud enough of to advertise on the front of my blog! It's a lot of kuro stuff!

My COMMISSIONS are OPEN!

BLACK BUTLER : BOOK OF SPIDERS [<- watch here]

A literal season 2 MOVIE. That's right i fucking COMPILED SEASON 2 INTO A FUCKING MOVIE it's a TWO AND A HALF HOUR LONG FUCKING MOVIE. I am in no way an editing professional, but the filler is cut, the gratuitously vile scenes are either done differently or also cut, and Alois and Hannah are portrayed in a kinder light, especially with Alois's backstory being handled a lot more carefully. No original footage is added - it is merely camera tricks and framing.

"You got rid of that Ciel screaming scene and that's like 5 stars for me." -- @warmmilk-n-honey

"Truly proves that less is more." -- @pain-in-the-butler

"An actual digestible version of Season 2." - @mantomhive

2. My Webcomic: The Dead The Damned & The Devil (Read here)

What if Vincent Phantomhive came back from the dead just before his sons were sacrificed? This is a fix-it AU...kind of. Many side characters are integral to this story, like Francis and Madam Red. It's got 8+ chapters, and if you like to watch scared parents protect sad little kids, its a good read. likewise, if you already want to hug vincent, its a good read. likewise, if you want to punch vincnet in the face, it's a good...

VOLUME ONE HAS BEEN COMPLETED!!!

3. My Season 2 Video Essay (black butler season 2 is laughing at you)

watch me scream about the meta of season 2 as an exhausted season 2 fan for about two hours...it's got some original animatics, too!

4. My Youtube + some highlights such as

The Black Butler Actors OVA Abridged

exactly what it says on the tin! a 22 minute long black butler parody following what the hellish production of season 2 was actually like (and also. uh. character trauma??? somehow???)

"Cinder Soul" the angsty End-of-Contract visual novel

Sebastian and Ciel angst hours, in an AU where Ciel has quite literally lost everything. Ominous. Sad.

Season 2 Reanimation project

on indefinite hiatus -- but its still 14 minutes of technically an episode, and the ending is more 'open' than 'cliffhanger.' what if Alois and Ciel got to talk it out when they were trapped in the same body, back in episode 11? Fully originally animated (thsi is probably the largest thing I've ever made hghdfhs)

Collabs w Mel ( @weeb-cheese )

This list will probably get longer but aaa they're so cool!

Pluto video essay!

Drossel video essay!

NOT-KURO VIsual Novel

A light-hearted (?) sapphic visual novel about some ladies who LARP at garden club. On hiatus

5. Ego Te Absolvo

So what if Alois Trancy teamed up with Ash Landers and became an exorcist who killed demons? Would he be happy? Would he be free? This is a really fun fic, i've been co-writing it with @eemoo1o and its aaa!! very cool!! do be warned, it gets...darker...the longer you read it. it is an alois trancy fic after all, even if the initial concept might seem a bit silly

6. RIan Stoker Ask Blog

Don't ask me why i wanted to make this. but he's always open!

I have a number of other smaller projects that you can find by hunting through my youtube and stalking my ao3. I don't mind!! tho some of the older stuff is definitely not as good lmao thanks for reading!!

I also run @blackbutler-heritage-posts and hosted @dadbastianweek2023 !!!

[x-manson-annotated]

X-Manson Annotated Chapter 5 - Part One: INFILTRATORS.

Holy shit, the final chapter. This is where I really like a lot of concepts. The Avengers make a proper appearance and everyone's favorite sapphic Carol Danvers has a shitty time. See the reblogged version for the rest of it, since Tumblr has a limit on only 30 images.

If i'm not mistaken, this places the year that Kitty is watching the documentary as 2000 whereas before it said "Present Day" or "Today" . This places Kitty and Dani at probably 23 and 26 respectively.

**Dwight Hammer, like all cops is a goddamn moron.

Paid Schill.

1999 the y ear of the raid? Xavier's psychics forcing people to confess to murders that they didn't commit?

*I'm not sure if Dolores is a reference to someone special or just a filler character.

**I don't know why the spelling of her name with the 'e'. I've looked at multiple versions of the story and that detail remains in all of them.

**ALIENS EXIST IN THE CULT AU.

Motherfucking Carol Danvers!

*I'm not totally sure if that's something Supergirl used to be like.

** Rogue. I'm not sure who the intelligence agency is, since SHIELD seems to be a known quantity in the world.

*** That isn't really a thing she's known for either.

*Carole uses that very insistent phrase "the Kree that fucked me up". In the comics, she gained her abilities from an explosion that mixed her DNA with Mahr-Vel. So, is it possible in this au the Kree intentionally experimented on her?

**Pretty green eyes convince Carole Danvers that Rogue isn't a tech. Gay as hell behavior, champ.

***Further gay behavior. Much less traumatic loss of her powers as opposed to what happened to her in the comics.

*This is referencing her lesbianism within the story. I don't know if this is Benway's potentially homophobic perspective on Carole's sexuality, or if it's meant to be a purely in-universe sense of present homophobia.

Rogue's Mom, Destiny is being a cryptic old biddy. She's present twice the story, but Mystique isn't. Maybe she died a while back after some encounter with the cult, resulting in Rogue being sent in as an agent. But, that's just my headcanon.

*See.

**Rogue gave Carole a type.

**Why didn't she decay? Because of Carole's powers?

***Destiny was able to see that Carole was going to fuck her shit up by kissing Rogue's corpse, but not that Rogue would get murdered? Like, c'mon, that's your daughter.

*I might be right.

**I'm so fucking sick of Vance taking every single incorrect lesson from his life. Of course, she was angry, Vance. She was in near-constant pain, you unbearable prick.

***Probably doesn't help that she was being cryptic about what happened.

*I still love how angry he is with American spy agencies.

*Possibly this universe's version of Freedom Force?

Xavier loaning out cult members for odd jobs?

*Sorry HOXPOX fans, Moira isn't a mutant.

**So that's where they're potentially filling up their ranks?

***My immediate thought was Gambit both because of the title and the New Orleans connection. This might also be Amahl Farouk, who has a history of employing pickpockets, but he was based in Egypt. Though, I don't want to discount him totally because of my biased headcanon.

*Tracking the cult's activity from the ground up. But, how is the cult going to all of these places constantly? How far spread are they outside of Westchester?

** Nice to know that Black Tom exists in this au. Hope he and Cain have a summer cottage together somewhere on the coast where they can grow old together, far away from any of this cult horseshit.

Spain

Morocco

Romania

Hungary

Yugoslavia

Westchester, New York.

So, Sean was likely trying to infiltrate them after making contact in Yugoslavia and then ended up being inducted into the cult, proper.

That is so goddamn scary it's unreal.

*was their a psi on the isles manipulating the local Interpol agents? Can Xavier or Cable stretch their influence that far?

*Rahne Sinclair

*I just now noticed that Terry in this story is eleven. My god. That's an especially horrifying ordeal at that age.

*if Sean was pleading, it's possible that either they didn't have him under psychic control yet (not coring him) or the distance allowed the connection to break. But who else is with Logan that's coercing Sean into action?

*She could tell almost immediately that Rahne was a mutant and not some kind of freakish dog.

The river to confuse Logan's tracking ability?

*Rahne's home in the woods.

*They don't see her transform in the dark, but she can take on a human or at least human adjacent shape. Rahne Sinclair is a saint.

First Voice, Unknown.

Second Voice, Logan.

*My first instinct was that this is Sean, but Moira would have clarified if it were. Maybe it's Cable or Piotr?

**Rahne can take on a human shape, but is functionally feral and cant understand human language.

*Logan's voice again.

**Cars everywhere. Some of them look burned. Sunfire? Is the second voice Sunfire?

*Christ alive, they massacred ten whole police officers and special forces agents.

Logan sticking around to threaten the family by leaving shreadded vehicles around? Why not murder them?

[flvneurss]

THIS LOVE

will be your downfall

A/N: this is a bit over the place it’s more a filler (I also wrote this a year ago that’s how long it taken me to come back)

CHAPTER TWO: What happened during break

༺♡︎༻

Present Day

“All better.” Viviana stepped back from her daughter to allow her to look in the mirror. The blood was all wiped from her face and the cut on her cheek had a Band-Aid on it.

“Why don’t you go lay in bed and I will make some hot chocolate.” She walked out of the bathroom to allow her daughter to leave. Kenna just kept walking without saying a word. Tears still flowing, the events still clean in her mind on a consistent loop.

The pain is also on a constant loop. The stingy on the cheek, how tendered it was just like her heart now. But that was not the worst part. The Worst of all, was the way their hands and lips felt on her were also on a loop.

“Your mother makes the best hot chocolate.” Steve burst into the room with two mugs. “Kenna.” He walked as she sat at her window bay crying. Her sobs she tried to suppress so much but was no use, everything she had bottled up was coming out.

“Kenna please say something, please tell me you are going to be okay.” Steve sat across from her as she brought her face to her knees, his hand never leaving her shoulder as he pulled her to be close to him as she cried into his chest.

Her phone dropped onto the floor as she clung to Steve for dear life, her screams muffled into his shirt, tears stains on his chest. “It’s going to be okay.” Steve stroked her hair she she continued to cry trying everything he could to calm her down

“Steve, he’s coming over.”

Her breath was airy as she struggled to calm down.

“I’m really scared.”

༺♡︎༻

TWO WEEKS AFTER HOOK UP

Kenna spent all holidays locked up since the eventful night at Eddie Munson’s trailer. The night she let Eddie Munson and Billy Hargrove fuck her.

She tried to blame the weed for a bit but she knew exactly what she was doing. Even if it involved all three, Kenna believed she was the reason it happened because SHE kissed Billy first and then SHE kissed Eddie.

Why did she have to buy weed in the first place? To think about it she never actually brought the weed, instead she slept with the dealer.

“Kenna we need to go.” Her sister Evie busted through her door clutching her school books in her hand. “Max texted me and she asked if we could pick her up. Billy is pissing her off.” Evie leaned against the door, sending her pleading eyes.

Another thing she hated, don’t get her wrong Kenna adored Max, she was a part of the family basically but with Max came Billy. Before that night the two never talked Billy would normally drop Max at the house and leave. If at school would call her Harrington’s Bitch, nothing less or nothing more.

Until now.

“That’s fine but tell her we are getting hot chocolates.” Kenna smiled as grabbed her phone off the charger, proceeding to walk over to Evie.

This is not how she wanted to start the second semester seeing Billy Hargrove, so early in the morning most likely sweaty after a run.

“Hurry up then.” Evie groaned as she rolled her eyes leaving her room.

Kenna looked at herself once more in the mirror making sure her top was straight and not too much skin was showing between her jeans and top. Touching up her make up one last time.

“KENNA LET’S GO.”

༺♡︎༻

“Do we have to go to douchebag Hargrove’s?” Robin asked from the passenger seat, holding her hot chocolate.

“Yes, Buckley Max is my friend and she said SOS.” Evie sneered from the backseat. “Plus have you seen Billy?” Evie muttered under her breath.

“EVERLYN AVERYS.” Kenna yelled at her sister's response. “I didn’t say I was gonna fuck him just that he’s hot.” Evie shrugged.

Causing Robin to let out a chuckle as Kenna pulled up outside of the Hargrove residence where Max patiently waited outside on the steps for the girls.

“Sorry we were late, we got hot chocolates beforehand.” Kenna said she rolled down her window to talk to Max, as she walked over to the car.

“Did you get me one dollface?” Kenna looked past Max to see Billy making his way from the front towards his car but making a pit stop at her window.

“No.” Kenna replied as she grabbed her travel mug from the cup holder taking a sip well aware of Billy leaning through the window.

“That’s alright I know to share.” He leaned closer to her ear as he grabbed the mug from her hand taking a sip, making sure to moan at the taste.

“See you in History. Shame that you are not wearing a skirt today.” The car stayed quiet, the girls in the back disgusted what’s happening between their siblings and Robin held her laughter in.

“Find some else to fuck.” Max sneered, causing Billy to look into the car more. “Watch it, shitbird.”

༺♡︎༻

“Where have you been all holidays?” Nancy shouted as she tackled her friend into a hug, crushing her to show she missed her.

“I have an idea.” Robin responded holding a smirk remembering what happened prior to arriving at school.

“Does it have anything to do with Eddie Munson coming to school early and waiting by your locker?” Nancy asked.

“Well you missed what happened when we went to pick up Max.” Robin started to retell the events this morning.

It was like everything that happened after that night is a fever dream but what happened this morning and from what Nancy told Kenna. Something definitely happened after that night.

“Did you sleep with them?” Kenna snapped back into reality to look at Nancy who was even shocked at her own words. “Not here.” That’s all Kenna said, making Robin’s draw drop.

Before anymore could happen with the conversation the bell signaled for the beginning of classes, meaning history. And having history meant seeing Billy.

“Come on Nancy let’s leave.” Kenna shut her locker as she grabbed and adjusted her books in her arms. “This conversation is not over.” Robin shouted as she watched them walk in the opposite direction.

“Robin is right, we are talking about this later.” Nancy smirked

༺♡︎༻

She couldn’t believe what she saw when she stepped inside the classroom. She felt like she could have been sick, she could feel her breakfast coming back up.

Billy Hargrove sitting in Nancy Wheeler's seat next hers. “That’s my seat.” Nancy exclaimed, her mouth left in an opening gasp. “We will find another one.” Kenna said as she tried to scan the room for a free space.

“This is weird Kenna, weird.”

“I’ll talk to Billy, I’m sure he might move.” Kenna shrugged. “What if you bribe him with sex.” Nancy suggested. Kenna just ignored her as she walked over to Billy, her books clutched tight to her chest as possible, shielding herself.

“Hey Billy.” she stopped at the front of her desk, causing the blue eyed boy to look up and see her standing never him, in arms reach.

“Hey dollface.” His voice was the voice if sex could talk, all husky making her stomach do flips as struggled to find the reason why she walked over. “Is something the matter?” his hand had found the way to her hip, moving his hand slowly up and done making Kenna shutter.

“Kenna.” Nancy hissed as she walked over to the pair whacking Billy’s hand away to stand closer to her best friend so he could not touch her. “Billy, I was wondering if Nancy could have her seat back?” Kenna asked as she felt the other girl nudge her.

“Oi Benson.” The girls watched as the timid boy turned around to face the three. “Nance needs a seat move.” Billy leaned back as he watched Fred pack up his stuff in a hurry to leave, “You have your seats.”

The girls took one more look at each other before sliding into their seats. Nancy still had a sour look on her face. Kenna looked over at Nancy shooting her apologetic look hoping she would not hate her too much.

“You owe me big time.” Nancy mouthed.

Kenna slid further into her seat wanting and waiting for death to come and save her from whatever hell had become before her. But all she got was a smirk from Billy.

How could she have fucked up so badly

༺♡︎༻

She wished she could go home and hide in a hole but she needed to give Eddie the money. Kenna Averys is not going to be someone who fucks people for drugs. Maybe the reason why Eddie was acting the way he was today was because she owed him money.

Her hands grazed the handle of the drama room door. With bribery she managed to get Dustin to confess that Hellfire started after school but Eddie normally sets up during his free.

Soon Kenna managed to get enough courage to finally open the door showing exactly where Eddie is. His back was turned away from him as he set up the pieces, lost in the moment.

“Eddie.”

Her soft voice carried through the room making him stop what he was doing and turn around, his eyes lighting up at sight of her.

Her.

Kenna Averys.

She looked so perfect standing there dressed in her in a knitted collared cropped too, showing off the skin he so craved to kiss and touch since that night. Her light blue jeans hiding her smooth legs, the ones he craved to have wrapped around his waist.

To throw all the pieces off the table and lay her down there as he explored her body even more with just him, no one but them. No Billy fighting to have his fulfillment. How he craved to just see how their bodies would fit again, watching as she arches her back as he cock would reach that part in her cunt that would make her fall apart.

Eddie needed Kenna.

No one else

Just her.

“Eddie the money.” He snapped back to reality watching as she waved a fifty dollar note around.

“What.” He asked, still wondering how she came to wave money in his face. “I never paid you for the weed.” Her breath was shaky as he got closer to her.

“Keep it, call it a free try.” Eddie brought his hand to her hair, tucking a loose strand behind her eye. “I’m not going to be known for sleeping with you for free weed.”

“You didn’t.” He stepped closer to her until their chests were touching, so close that she could feel his breath on her face. His body heat.

“Eddie please.” Her eyes looked so innocent just like that night. “You look so pretty.”

Eddie now had her pressed against him, his hard bulge pressed against her clothed pussy, as their lips ghosted each other both holding back moans.

“I want to throw you on that table and fuck you.” He muttered as Eddie peppered kisses all along her neck.

He felt as her hand traveled from his arm down his hips to eventually his back pocket, the note crumpled in her hand.

“The girls are waiting for me.”

She pushed herself away from him, not wanting to spend another waking moment in the drama room in fear that she would make the same mistake as she did a month ago.

Eddie watched as Kenna walked away, how he wanted to run up to her to tell her it will be all okay, that she didn’t have to feel guilty

༺♡︎༻

A/N And we are back. From here on it’s more plotted and less messy. Also the drama is gonna start soon

Masterlist

[aihoshiino]

What are your thoughts on how onk is handling ruby recently

So I've been rattling my brains about this since long before this ask – since the chapter 123 leaks dropped, if I'm honest and I think I'm at a place where my feelings are "I understand why these choices are being made, I just don't like that these are the choices they went with".

(I kind of talked about this elsewhere last week, by coincidence, so sorry to anyone about to see me repeat myself LOL)

As someone who really, REALLY loves Ruby, it feels like there's been a consistent failure to properly center her and give her focus and interesting things to do since around the start of Tokyo Blade. Black hoshigan Ruby (as I've mentioned in a previous post) was a really interesting and exciting opportunity to dig into Ruby's trauma and darker feelings that OnK is comparatively quieter on. But with the benefit of hindsight now that the arc is over, it's clear that the whole thing was just a plot cul-de-sac - if I were feeling particularly uncharitable, I would go as far as to call it filler to waste time until Aqua was back in revenge mode. She might not ping back to white stars until 123 but black hoshigan Ruby essentially ceases to be relevant once Aqua is back in the picture until she can be used to serve his arc again.

And the frustrating thing is - I was so, SO fucking excited to see how Ruby was being handled in the start of the movie arc! It felt like we were building up to a really fantastic examination of Ruby's relationship with all three of her mothers, and the way toxic motherhood in general trickles down and poisons someone for long after they're out of the environment of abuse. The incredibly strong and vivid depictions of Ruby literally triggering and retraumatizing herself by engaging with material that depicted Ai's own abuse and the way it dragged back memories of her own abuse and abandonment were so powerful and so scary - her pain absolutely overflowed out of every single page and the care and tenderness with which it was depicted made me feel so deeply for Ruby. This poor, poor girl who has been in so much pain for so long and has done her best to be happy and strong but is at last reaching her human breaking point - it was so fucking good!

The arc we were promised for Ruby at the outset of the movie arc was, no joke, exactly the sort of thing I had been hoping and praying for Akasaka to do for her ever since I got back into the series in April. I really, genuinely thought this was finally going to be Ruby's time to shine and achieve some meaningful healing and catharsis.

And then the arc completely switches tracks to be about Aqua instead and all we've gotten from Ruby since is incest bait and her simping over her brother.

To be clear, I am 100% aware I am being disingenuous here and that there is way more going on than my eyerolling dismissal of it, but I'm trying to get across how it feels for me as a Ruby enjoyer VS how my Themes And Characterization And Narrative brain logically understands what is going on.

It absolutely completely makes sense for Ruby to be behaving this way right now. Gorou was the first and only person in her short life as Sarina to make her feel safe and valued and cared for and having the miracle of their reunion granted to her after she was sure she'd lost him forever and just as she was at emotional and mental rock bottom? That shit was GUARANTEED to turn her brain into soup and Ruby developing confusedly romantic and unhealthy feelings for Aqua vis-a-vis projecting Gorou onto him when she is so desperately in need of comfort and support is maybe not pretty or flattering, but it feels honestly, authentically weird and messy and uncomfortable. Oshi no Ko's willingness to portray character relationships with enough of that honesty to just let them be weird and fucked up and icky and unhealthy sometimes is something I really, really appreciate about it.

My issue is not that this plot point has happened to begin with - my issue is with how it's been framed. This is partially exacerbated by the manga's schedule getting FUBAR'd just after this reveal dropped and thus forcing us to stew in what I imagine is still the relatively early stages of this new status quo for maybe longer than intended, but we have gotten little to no serious examination of how Ruby actually feels about any of this. Almost every interaction the twins have had since this reveal dropped has been incest bait jokes. The fact that Ruby was in the middle of a massively overdue bit of character development that was finally all about her and her feelings only for that to get thrown to one side in favour of her being all uwu oniichansensei and being treated like a comic relief character is just so, so deeply insulting and betrays such a huge lack of respect for Ruby and her feelings.

The relative shallowness and childishness of them is, I think, intentional and accepting this uncritically as yummy ship bait is clown behaviour - we are playing around in this space specifically to soften us up for when the twins finally have an open and honest confrontation about this, but all that means is that for the time being, I am being asked to laugh at and vicariously enjoy Ruby's unhealthy, fucked up feelings born from her deep trauma and to be perfectly frank that just leaves me feeling fucking insulted.

As a survivor of the little sister incest anime boom and a fan of Revolutionary Girl Utena, I simply have no patience for a series that purports to take itself and its characters seriously then turns around and plays sibling incest for nudgewink laughs and ship bait, especially when it has derailed and, in the short term, superseded and ruined what was shaping to be an exciting and deeply emotional character arc for a character desperately in need of focus.

[tswaney17]

I Do Bad Things with You - Part 38

As promised, we're celebrating my 30th birthday with a little update. 🎂🎁 This is definitely a filler chapter, and one that I fought with a lot. I'm not entirely happy with it, but we're going to move on. I have so many exciting things coming for this AU that I can't wait to share with you. Thank you all for reading! 💙💜💚

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​​​

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💕

Catch up here.

Credit to @featherymalignancy for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘

Trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault , language, NSFW (kinda)

Word Count: 5,461

It had been three months since Feyre’s gallery showing and Elain and Azriel were living in utter bliss. Though the quietness from Elias and Azriel’s brothers kept him on edge, he didn’t let that affect them. Even agreeing to let up on her security protocols for getting dropped off at work—seeing as she was late twice. Granted, she had to sway him a bit, which meant she ended up kneeling on the couch and then bent over the armrest.

Not that she minded one bit.

Since she’d broken through that last barrier of her trauma, Elain felt like a new woman. One who was fully confident sexually and able to give Azriel more of herself.

He took full advantage of it too. Just last night, they were going at it doggy-style, but rather than maintaining an upright position like her ex would, Azriel leaned over her and held her against his chest so she slid up and down his body, their skin maintaining contact.

Holding them both up with one arm, he wrapped the other one around her, securing her to him. Elain had never thought doggy-style could hold any kind of intimacy—any sort of romance—but like always, Az surprised her with how he pleasured her. He liked the feeling of her against him when they fucked and, well, she loved it too.

Elain smiled to herself as she made her way to the private wing of the emergency room where high-valued patients were kept. Viviane had paged her, telling her someone requested her specifically for a consultation. “Hi Viv,” she called when the bleach blonde appeared in her line of sight.

“Ellie,” she smiled. “Thank you for coming down. I tried to persuade him to have a regular check-up before going straight to a surgical consultation, but he was insistent,” Viv explained handing over the iPad with the patient’s medical chart on it.

Glancing through the notes, nothing stood out to her.

“Do you recognize the name?”

She shook her head. “I don’t. I’ve never heard of this man before.” Her brows furrowed as she tapped the screen, digging further. “There’s not much here. What is he in for?”

“Appendicitis. Said you took out a friend’s and they recommended you.”

Elain looked up at her friend and caught the caution in her eyes. “You don’t believe him.” It wasn’t a question.

Viviane shrugged a shoulder. “If he has appendicitis, then he’s got a very high threshold for pain tolerance.”

“Do you think he’s lying to hide what’s really wrong?”

“Possibly. Though I’m not sure what it could be that he couldn’t tell me but will tell you.”

Hugging the iPad to her chest, Elain said, “Well, there’s only one way to find out.” Striding to the closed door of a private room, she knocked and entered. “Hello, Mr. Thompson. I’m Doctor Ar—”

She froze three steps into the room.

Because the man that turned around on the other side of the exam table was none other than Elias Hewn himself.

He smiled sinisterly at her. “Hello, Elain Archeron,” he cooed.

Like a doe, she turned to bolt from the room but found the door being slammed shut and blocked by another man, larger in stature than Elias. A guard of some sort, she assumed. The size of him, the way his biceps bulged when he crossed his arms indicated she was likely correct in that assumption.

Trapped.

She was trapped.

Her heart skipped in her chest as fear settled in. Whirling around to face Elias, Elain lifted her chin and told him, “You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve to come here.”

The man chuckled, slowly walking around the table and towards her. “You should consider yourself lucky I merely came here and didn’t take you while you were leaving.” His head cocked to the side. “Though, correct me if I’m wrong, that’s already happened to you, has it not?” he taunted.

How he knew about her kidnapping was beyond her, but then again, he played in a world she wasn’t completely privy to. News about Azriel’s girl getting kidnapped by Hybern and his killing them probably spread like wildfire in the underworld.

His lips curved up even more. “I’ll take your silence as confirmation.” He moved closer to her, stepping into her personal space and letting his eyes flick over her face. “I can see why Azriel is so taken with you. You really are gorgeous.”

“Azriel,” she snapped, “is taken by more than just my looks. I don’t think I could say the same for you.” Elain folded her arms across her chest, careful with the iPad still clutched in her hand. “What the fuck do you want?”

Elias tugged on a lock of hair, letting the curl wrap around his finger before thumbing one of the earrings that her boyfriend gave to her for her birthday.

They were gorgeous halo studs, sapphires in the center, and surrounded by diamonds. He had been insistent that she keep them when she tried to tell him they were too much and took to using his mouth into persuading her.

His lips curled up. “Azriel has good taste in jewelry.” His knuckle ran over the curve of her cheek. “Is that how he keeps your legs spread?”

Elain’s face heated at the words, at the implication. But she bit her tongue, letting him think he was luring her in.

He leaned forward until his lips touched the shell of her ear. “I could show you things he never could.” He said it in a daze, almost trance-like. His body shifted closer until any large breath would have his chest brushing hers.

Her blood raced as he encroached in on her, dominating her person with his presence. And just when she knew he thought he had her, Elain brought her arm back and cracked it across his face, hard enough to send his head snapping to the side. “Do not touch me,” she snarled, stepping back to add space between them.

His fingers touched his cheek, mouth parting in what she could only describe as shock.

Before he could say anything, she snarled, “How dare you come in here, posing as a patient, and lay your hand on me.” Her heart was beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings. Like a symphony of an enemy’s drum as it approached.

Faster than she could detect, his hand snapped forward, gripping her by the throat and pinning her against the door. Her back smacked the wood, knocking the breath from her lungs. “Do you have any idea what you two have done to me? To my company?” he hissed in her face. The rage that lined his features reminded her so much of that night with her ex-fiancé. She knew what happened when men lost their temper; remembered seeing that same viciousness in his eyes that she saw in Graysen’s.

But Elain wasn’t the same woman she was when he tried to assault her. No, she was the girlfriend of a mobster. Despite the fear racing through her veins, it was time the world recognized and respected her power for who she was. She wasn’t going to let her terror make her cower to this man.

Throwing on her best sneer, ignoring how hard her chest was beating, she told him, “That sounds like more of your poor planning than our problem. And you need to leave. Now.”

Elias’s dark eyes narrowed, fingers tightening around her throat, restricting her airway that much more, as he looked at her. Really looked at her. Assessed her in a way that told her he was trying to determine how much of a fight she’d put up. He released her neck, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dress pants like he was restraining himself from grabbing her again. “You and I are connected, Elain. I felt it the first moment we met.”

She nearly got whiplash from the change in direction, gulping down quiet breaths now that his hand was removed from her throat, but she focused on his words.

The night of the fundraiser, when he sniffed the skin of her inner wrist and grabbed her when she denied him what he wanted. “There is no connection between us, Elias. You need to get that through your skull.”

“Then how do you explain you sensing my presence at the club?” he asked, cocking his head to the side once more, dark hair sliding across his brow. “I know you felt me watching you—saw you looking around for me.”

“I didn’t know it was you.” A lie. She and Azriel both were convinced it was Elias at the club even though Az never found footage of him. He had to have come in some sort of disguise.

A smile curled up the side of his mouth. “Liar. You knew it was me.”

She stayed quiet.

Elias shook his head, laughing to himself in a way that had her blood going cold. “Believe what you want, pet, but we both know the truth—”

Elain had had enough of his games. Pushing off the door and forcing him to take a startled step back, she demanded, “What do you want, Elias? I won’t ask again.”

He shifted on his feet. “I just want you both to know how easy it is to get to you. That no matter how much security he has in place, I can still find you.” He stepped closer, leaning in until his mouth grazed her cheek in a featherlight kiss.

Her body locked up, but she refused to show him just how much his closeness affected her.

“I will exact my revenge on you both. You won’t know when, or where, but one day I’m coming for you for what you did. And when I do, we will have so much fun.”

Anxiety gripped her chest at his words. At the underlying threat in his tone. She knew he wasn’t lying; that one day, he would take what he believed he was owed. But the worst fear was that she didn’t know how he would try and take his revenge.

“Have a good day, Doctor Archeron,” he murmured, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Oh, and tell Azriel good luck getting to me.” Shooting her a wink, he and the other male strode from the room, the door clicking shut behind him and his guard.

Elain gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth as a sob tore out of her throat. She dropped the iPad to the ground and pulled out her phone with shaky fingers. Clicking on Azriel’s name, she put the phone to her ear.

He answered before the second ring. “Hello, love.”

A strangled sound escaped her that had him instantly on alert.

“Elain,” he said her name urgently. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

She sniffed, hating the tears that built in her throat and were threatening to flow down her cheeks. Pathetic—it was absolutely pathetic how much he affected her, but she couldn’t stop the droplets from rolling down her cheeks. “He was here,” she said so quietly, Elain wasn’t even sure Az could hear her.

“Who, Elain?”

Swallowing the painful lump, she breathed, “Elias.”

The line went silent for half a second. And then she heard him moving. “Did he touch you?” The wrath in his voice had some dark piece of her soul stirring.

She debated on telling him or not, knowing it would anger him further, but eventually decided to go with the truth. “He…he grabbed my neck,” she told him, fingers grazing the skin of her throat where she was concerned bruises might form. “Az—he was at the club that night. He told me.”

Her boyfriend swore low and filthily. “I should’ve put a fucking bullet in him when I had the chance.”

The words didn’t bring her any comfort, something he must’ve sensed because he added a bit more softly, “El, the Moonbeam twins are in the lobby waiting for you. I’m on my way. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

Elain tried to take a steadying breath. “I’m okay, Az.”

“I’d like to see that for myself.”

She didn’t get the chance to argue further before the door of the exam room swung open revealing Connall and Fenrys, along with a very concerned-looking Viviane.

Finding her kneeling on the floor—when had she gotten down here?—the golden blond twin was instantly moving to her side, lying a comforting palm on her back.

“How the fuck did he get in here?” he snarled at the nurse.

Viviane blanched at the tone. “He came in by ambulance.” Hence why neither of the twins saw him enter the building.

“And you just let him in here with her alone?”

Those crystal blue eyes turned to ice. “How was I supposed to know he was a threat to her? He used a different name and it’s not like you’re out here waving around pictures and names of people who are a threat to her for me to review. Of course, I wouldn’t have let him near her if I had any inkling that he was dangerous.”

Azriel’s midnight voice cut through the arguing, having heard the exchange. “Love, can you pass me off to Fenrys, please?”

Elain tapped his shoulder to get his attention before offering up her phone. She kept her gaze on her lap, trying to work through the anxiety in her mind until her breathing slowed, going through the motions she established with her therapist.

“Mr. Knight, I—” he was interrupted by Azriel.

And although she couldn’t hear the conversation, she had a vague idea of what he was saying. That Viviane was her friend and she’d never let any harm come to her knowingly.

“Yes,” Fenrys said. “By ambulance.” From the corner of her eye, she caught him nodding his head along to whatever was being spoken to him on the other line. “No, of course. I will…sure.” The twin passed her back the phone.

Her boyfriend’s voice was a welcome balm to her worries. “Elain, would you like to take the rest of the day off and go home, or do you want to work until the end of your shift?”

She was surprised by his offer, having figured he’d want her to go home immediately. “You don’t want me to come home?”

He paused, likely debating her question and how to answer it. “The decision is not mine. It’s yours. Now that Elias has approached you, I don’t believe he’ll do it again at the moment. However, if you do choose to stay and work, I would like the twins inside the lobby to monitor who comes and goes.”

Elain didn’t want to let Elias’s sudden presence affect her. She refused to give that to him. If she was going to be Az’s partner in life, she couldn’t let events like this control her from doing her job; from living how she wanted to. Taking a deep breath, she told Azriel, “I want to stay.”

“My strong girl,” he murmured sweetly and she could hear the pride in his voice. “Okay, let them know you’re staying. I’ll swing by shortly just to check in—”

“No.” Elain was surprised at how sturdy her voice came out. “He wants to get a rise out of me, out of you. He likely anticipates you flying over here to check up on me and take me home, and is sitting out in the parking lot somewhere to watch. I don’t want to give him that satisfaction. Let’s make it seem like his threat isn’t worth our time. That will show him.”

She didn’t need to see his face to know it had taken on a deadly grin. “Spoken like a true queen of the underworld. I concur. Keep your eyes open for anything else and stay safe, El. Let the twins know what the plan is. I’ll see you tonight.”

After bidding him goodbye, Elain rose to her feet with a set determination she hadn’t felt in a long time. “All right…here’s what we’re going to do.”

~~~

A week after Elias’s surprise visit and Elain was starting to feel it. Three nights she’d woken up from nightmares, Azriel hovering over her as he attempted to pull her from her dreams. Despite her desire to not let him affect her, her dreams wouldn’t give her a reprieve.

Just last night she had shaken herself awake, breaths coming out in shallow gasps. 

But Azriel was already pulling her into his chest, letting the sound of his heartbeat soothe her racing one, to calm her heavy breathing. He’d run his beautifully scarred hands over her back; stroked through her damp air.

She’d take a few minutes to collect herself. Just allowing his presence, his scent to comfort her. Some nights he’d try to ask her about the dreams, but last night he just held her until she fell back asleep. Elain appreciated that he never pushed her into talking about her nightmares.

But after just three episodes, she was bound and determined to shake them.

That was how she found herself standing in Az’s—well, their—home gym, eying all the different equipment. He was currently in his office down the hallway, working, so she figured she could take advantage of his busy state.

Looking at all the weights and the bench, Elain felt herself feeling a bit intimidated, so she started on the treadmill to work up her courage. After two miles—huffing and puffing because fuck, she hated running—she hopped off and stretched out her muscles.

Glancing at the weight bench, Elain plucked her bravery from deep in her gut, slipped on a ten-pound weight on either side of the bar, and laid down. Twenty pounds wasn’t too heavy. She could do that.

Taking a deep breath, she slid the bar off the little hooks when it dropped on her chest. The wind was knocked from her lungs as she desperately tried to push the weighted bar off her, but it was no use. Her panic about being pinned down crept on the edge of her mind. Wheezing as she tried to catch her breath, Elain managed to get out a desperate, “Azriel!”

Quick footsteps sounded down the hallway and then he appeared in the doorway. A filthy curse word left his lips as he rushed over to her, gripping the bar with one hand and effortlessly lifting it off her chest and back onto the hooks. “Elain, hey. Are you all right?” he murmured, coming round to kneel beside her.

Panting, she went limp on the bench, eyes closing as she tried to level her breathing out.

He waited patiently for her to calm down, fingers squeezing her thigh and letting his thumb swoop across the fabric of her leggings. Once she was back to normal, Elain opened her eyes and found Azriel staring down at her.

“El, sweetheart…do you want to tell me what you were doing?”

Sitting up, she flipped her leg over the bench to face him fully. “I don’t want to feel weak again.” She cast her eyes down towards her lap. “Elias showing up at the hospital has put me on edge—”

“I know. It has for me too,” he told her, taking her hands in one of his.

She looked back up at his face. “I thought that maybe if I started using some of your weights, I’d feel safer. Like I could protect myself.” She eyed the weights next to her with disdain. “I must be weaker than I thought because I only stuck twenty pounds on it.”

Azriel’s lips curled up. “Elain, love, the bar itself weighs around forty pounds alone. You were trying to lift sixty.”

“Oh…” Well, that explained why she couldn’t lift it and made her feel less incompetent.

“And without a spotter.”

Golden-brown eyes met his hazel ones. “You don’t use a spotter.”

“I’m also well-versed in lifting weights. And I know my limits. I don’t go above them when I’m working out alone.” He lifted his palm to cup her cheek, letting his thumb swoop over the apple of it. “But you’re right. I don’t use a spotter and I should.”

He brushed his finger over her skin again. “Do you want to try again? With me here. And no weights—just the bar this time.”

Elain glanced at the weight bench and then back at him. “Not today. I think I’m done trying to lift weights for now. Can we go again in a couple of days?”

“Of course.” Az leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. “And you’re not weak, Elain. I’ve seen the things you can do…what Cash has taught you.” He reached up to stroke the delicate skin of her throat where she knew the finger-shaped bruises were starting to fade. “You are far from weak, my love.”

She felt those words brand themselves on her soul. He was right—of course, he was right. She was the girlfriend of a mob leader…she would never be weak again. Rising from the bench, she headed for the door but stopped at the threshold to look over her shoulder at him. “I’m going to shower. Care to join me?”

Heat flared in his eyes as he quickly followed behind her. “Like you have to ask.” Azriel swooped down to throw her over his shoulder, making her laugh.

“Az, I’m all sweaty. Put me down.”

He popped her on the ass. “You act like that’s going to stop me from ravishing you in the shower.”

And ravish her he did.

~~~~~

It had been a month since Elias had surprised Elain at the hospital and they had yet to hear another peep from him. Azriel had Ruhn searching for him, but even he had been unable to locate the fucker.

It infuriated him to no end, especially since he made the comment to Elain about “good luck finding me,” and directed it towards Az himself. Not being able to find him now was just a nail in the coffin of his rage.

Ruhn believed the bastard had gotten in with the Illyrian Mob, and he had to agree. Nobody else would be able to hide from him or his crew for this long without the help and resources of the rival gang. He also said that there was still no word on what they planned to do with the information about his relationship with Elain.

Just the two unknowns combined made him antsy for the other shoe to drop. However, he didn’t let that take away from his time with Elain.

“Still nothing on him. No phone records, no credit card purchases. He’s simply fallen off the face of the earth,” Ruhn growled through the phone, equally as pissed about being unable to locate the bastard.

Az sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Frankie has him hidden and protected. He would’ve had to if he planned to utilize him after what he did to Elain.”

The man on the other line paused before quietly asking, “How is she?”

“The bruises that fucker left on her neck are finally gone,” he snarled, rage building in his gut as he remembered seeing those finger-shaped purple marks dotting her immaculate pale flesh.

“We’ll find him, Azriel. I give you my word I’ll bring him to you for revenge.”

He let out a breath, knowing that Ruhn would do everything in his power to capture that fucker for him. Because Elias signed his death warrant when he laid his hands on Elain. “Thanks, Ruhn. Call me with any updates.” He ended the call, dropping his phone onto his desk and letting out a loud groan, rubbing the heels of his palms into his eyes until he saw spots.

It had been rough for his girl since he showed up at the hospital, though things had calmed down since then.

After about two weeks, her nightmares seemed to lessen and now she was rarely having any, thank fuck. He hated waking up in the middle of the night to her whimpered cries, body shaking from her terrors. Ached to take away her pain. To do anything other than just hold her after an attack. But that seemed to be all he could do for her at the moment. He just hoped it was enough for her.

His intercom on his phone buzzed and Nuala’s voice filtered through the line. “Mr. Knight: Feyre and Rhysand Archeron are here to see you.”

Fuck, he was not in the mood for company, knowing any little thing would set off his anger. He clicked the button to respond. “Thanks, Nuala. Send them in.”

Rising from his seat, Az buttoned his suit jacket just as his door swung open to reveal his siblings. Feyre leading, and Rhys carrying a large, flat object wrapped in paper. “Good morning, Feyre. Rhys. Is that my art piece?” he asked, nodding toward the hidden item.

“Indeed it is,” his sister chirped. “Where’s it going? The front wall?”

“Yes, right there,” he pointed towards the wall directly in front of his desk. Helping Rhys move the painting over, he ripped off the wrapping and stood back to admire the piece. “Fey, this is gorgeous. One of your best works. Thank you, for this.”

The artist beamed at the compliment. “It was truly a pleasure to paint this. And I’m happy you out of everyone connected with it.”

He knew what she was referring to, the fact that it was of an Illyrian from the history of his heritage, one he adamantly vocalized being against. It was a surprise for everyone when he requested that specific piece. But perhaps it was time to recognize the flaws and move past them.

“Do you want us to hang it?” Rhys asked, watching his brother closely. As a half-Illyrian—one who recognized and sympathized with him and his issues—he was the most curious about Az’s sudden change of heart.

And Cash, of course.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll email our maintenance team to come to hang it sometime this week.” He studied the art piece leaning against the wall. “But thanks for the offer.” Azriel walked back around his desk and sat down.

Feyre perched herself in one of the leather chairs, craning her neck around to brush a fingertip over the hole in the back. “Az, what happened here?”

He met her gaze and debated if he should tell them the truth or not. Opting for the former, he told them, “I threw my letter opener at Elias after he made some nasty comment about Elain. It embedded there in the leather.”

Their eyes went as large as saucers but it was Rhys who asked, “Does threatening everybody who comments about her seem like the wisest decision?”

“It makes me feel better,” he said petulantly, eyes flashing dangerously as if daring his brother to make another comment like that.

“I think what Rhys is getting at,” Feyre interjected to stop the brewing storm forming between the brothers, “is that will those threats come at a cost? Will it put Elain in more danger?”

Azriel sighed, rubbing at his brows. This was not a conversation he needed to be having with his siblings. But like normal, they were sticking their noses in a place where they didn’t belong. “Elain is in danger just by being with me. Since we’ve established that there is no going back on that, I will do everything in my power to make sure she’s safe. That she remains safe. And if that means threatening and putting myself between her and anyone who dares speak her name, then so be it. It is a price I am willing to pay.”

“Is she?” Rhys challenged.

“Come again?”

“Is she willing to let you put yourself in that position?” his brother clarified. At his silence, Rhys powered on. “Every threat you make, every enemy that comes forth puts her in danger, Az. It’s not just you anymore. You have to think of her—”

“I am thinking of her!” he snarled. “You don’t live in my world, Rhysand. You don’t understand the consequences of looking weak. I can’t just walk away. If I tried, they would come for me. And for her. I will not let that happen.”

His brother just looked at him; those violet eyes assessing his words. His anger. Finally, he leaned back in his seat, steepling his fingers together. “I only want to keep her safe, Az. She is more like a sister to me than an in-law. I will always look out for her well-being. Even if it’s against you.”

The words were like a blow. How far he had fallen with his siblings to see him as only endangering their family. His love. Perhaps, in their own way, they were right. Ever since he came back into Elain’s life, he had thoroughly derailed it. She’d been kidnapped, used as leverage, stalked, threatened…the list goes on.

But she had brought so much good to his life. Joy, happiness, a sense of purpose. He wanted to build a life with her. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he couldn’t have that and balance his more deadly self.

Feyre cleared her throat, recapturing his attention. “Elain told Nesta and me a little bit about what was going on when we went dress shopping.” She paused, chewing on her bottom lip. It was a nervous tick he picked up on—something she did when she was trying to figure out how to say something. “Is there still a threat going on?”

He and Elain had spoken about how much information they told their siblings. They had agreed on a “needs to know” basis, and well, this felt like it was needed to know. So, he told them everything. About Elias’s initial threat, his stalking at the club. Him seeking her out at the hospital. Azriel laid everything into the open for them.

His sister’s brows had gone straight to her hairline, her hand partially covering her mouth in shock. “That is…terrifying. How is Elain managing it?”

“Comes and goes. She had some nightmares after Elias sought her out at the hospital, but we’ve managed to get those under control. I’m trying not to be overbearing with her protection detail, but want to make sure she’s covered should anything happen. The Moonbeam brothers are staking out in the hospital lobby now.”

Rhys leaned forward to rest his elbows on the tops of his knees. “Maybe you guys should take some time. Get out of Velaris for a bit and let things calm down.”

He sighed, the breath whooshing from his chest. “I’d love to, but I don’t know if Elain has any vacation time built up.”

Feyre snorted. “Please. Elain hasn’t taken a vacation day since she was hired at the hospital for her residency two years ago. She’s got like two and a half weeks built up. And when her residency completes in a few months and they hire her as the attending, she’ll accrue like fifteen additional days a year.”

An idea took root as his sister-in-law spoke. “She told me that she wanted to go on a vacation. To the beach. I think a surprise trip is exactly what the doctor ordered.”

Rhys snickered at the pun.

“I’ll need to give her boss a few weeks’ notice. Maybe the middle of next month?” he said more to himself than anyone else.

“I think that sounds perfect. Get her out of the city. Honestly, I think the last time Elain did any sort of traveling was right before she started college. Since then, she’s been buckling down on her studies. It would be well-deserved. And a long-time coming,” Rhys told him.

He nodded in agreement. “Wait, we have Nesta and Cassian’s baby shower next month.”

“We can move it,” his sister said. “Nesta will only be seven months along next month. We can move it to the following one. No invitations have been sent out anyways.”

“I don’t want to inconvenience them.”

Feyre waved him off. “Please. I think Nesta would be happy to know that you took Elain somewhere safe.”

He supposed that was true. “I think I will. Thanks, guys.”

Feyre and Rhys rose from their respective chairs, each offering him an encouraging smile. “Well, we should be off. We have a few other deliveries today from the gallery show.”

They were almost to the door before he called out, “Oh, Feyre.” He waited until she turned to look at him.

A secretive smile overtook his face. “What’s Elain’s ring size?”

~~~~~

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[sp00kycrumpet]

Find A Way. (2/4)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Rating: E

Tags: season 1, soft!Joel, reader was besties with Maria, idiots in love refusing to admit it, pre-established relationship

Warnings: swearing; character death; spoilers (if you haven't watched the series/played the game)

(Part One)

Will also be posted on my AO3

I hope you like this second chapter. I feel it maybe moves a little too quick? But there's only so much you can write about travelling alone without it just looking like filler... I hope everyone still enjoys it 🙏🏻 feedback is welcome! ✨

That was months ago now. The radio had been silent the whole time and you burned through your supply of cigarettes and other assets to bribe people for information on Joel's whereabouts or even Tommy. Nothing. You'd had enough of the silence and not finding anything, so you went straight to the source. Marlene.

By the time you arrived at her hideout, she was packing her things; pausing from time to time to rest a hand against a wound on her side. She hadn't noticed you at first but paused after a moment and turned to look at you.

"I should have expected to see you here." She muttered, tossing her last notebook into her backpack.

"It's been months. Where did you send Joel?" You watched the other woman, she shook her head a little.

"I'm sorry. It's a need to know basis." You clenched your fists in frustration. You had a lot of respect for Marlene but right now you were starting to lose it.

"And I need to know." Marlene sighed, studying your face. "Marlene. Come on. Joel has been gone far too long now, you sent him away and you can't even tell me where? After I constantly saved your ass by giving you FEDRA info that even your top guys couldn't get?!" Marlene sighed as she eased herself down to sit on the edge of her bed, looking up at you.

"This is bigger than that. You know I'd never deal with Joel unless absolutely necessary." You groaned in frustration, pushing your hands through your hair as you watched the other woman.

"You're alone. You're injured. I can help get you out of the QZ without even a bug knowing you were passing by. All I need to know is where he is." Marlene pursed her lips, a snort leaving her.

"You're in love with him. And you'd risk your life just to catch up to him?" Your jaw tensed, staring at her silently for a beat.

"I just need to make sure he's okay. He's been radio silent, so has Tommy, so have Bill and Frank. I don't like it." Marlene shook her head as she reached to zip her bag up, awkwardly stiff as she pulled it onto her back then stood up.

"You get me out of the QZ. Once we're outside of the walls and out of sight, I'll tell you. Deal?" She held out a hand, you studied her quietly before taking her hand firmly in yours. "Alright. Get me the fuck out of here."

True to your word, you took Marlene through the tunnels you, Joel and Tess usually used. A couple of people threw curious glances your way but no one stopped you. Marlene was quiet for the most part, only subtle grunts of pain here and there as she walked behind you. Once underground, she needed a break. You helped her redress her wound and shoved a couple of pills into her hand. Marlene watched you closely as you fastened the bandaging around her midriff.

"You're really going to risk your life for him?" You grit your teeth and made a noise in the back of your throat. Marlene shook her head, leaning back against the wall behind her as she broke one of the pills in half and swallowed it with some water. "I knew there was something between you two. He had this look on his face when I said he couldn't tell you where he was going or why." You didn't reply, you just sat down and fished some jerky out of your bag, snapping some off to eat.

"He's different. Things just aren't so shit when I'm with him." You finally answered, your eyes on the bottle of water in your hands. "He keeps me grounded." Marlene nodded a little.

"Can't say I understand, romance has never interested me but, if he means that much you'd risk your life then it must be mighty powerful." You nodded a little, that little voice in your head scolding you for telling her too much and that you should have said all of this to Joel instead. The two of you rested for a little while before continuing on your journey, it took a little longer than planned but eventually you got her out and a safe distance. Marlene pulled a radio from her bag and arranged a pick up before turning to you.

"The old State House. He's supposed to drop something off for me there and come back." Marlene finally said, you watched her for a moment before nodding.

"Thank you." She waved a hand.

"Just don't get yourself killed over him. He should have met my guys there and been heading back this way. If you're lucky you might cross paths." You paused and nodded, shaking Marlene's hand. You exchanged farewells before you turned and headed back to the QZ. Once home, you threw what you could carry into your backpack and headed out. It would take a few days but, you'd cover as much ground as possible.

What you hadn't expected was it taking longer, the city wasn't as clear as you'd expected. Something had stirred the Infected and they were shambling around relentlessly. But eventually the huge building loomed ahead of you, fear gripped your heart as you smelled fire. All sorts of scenarios flashed through your head as you picked your way through the charred remains of Infected. It stunk and you were doing your best to not panic as you looked at the bodies around you. Some Fireflies, some just general public. Off to one side though, you spotted a figure slumped against a column. You almost dismissed it until you realised there was something familiar about that body. You carefully climbed over a couple of Infected and pried the one off of her. The body covering hers had protected a few sparse items from the fire and you recognised a bracelet immediately.

"Oh Tess… what happened to you?" You sighed, your eyes wandering the burned body. A faint bite mark was sunk into the charred skin and you figured she'd sacrificed herself to get Joel out of there. "We didn't get along but you didn't deserve this." You carefully pried her gun from her hands but upon inspection realised it was useless. You glanced around the remainder of the building and sighed softly.

"Where'd you go Joel…?" You whispered to yourself. No sign of him here, no sign of where he'd gone or anything. You pulled yourself together after a moment, standing up and starting to head out of the back door. You had no idea where to go, what to do now. You were at a solid dead end.

You felt tears of frustration building as you sat outside the husk of the State House, your head in your hands as you tried to figure out what your next move would be.

"No. What would Joel's next move be?" You muttered, glancing around for inspiration. When it seemed to hit you like a bolt out of the blue. Bill. Joel would probably head to Bill's for supplies and maybe rest. You rested in a small building after boarding it up once you were inside. Your fingers idly toyed with the necklace still around your neck. It seemed to help you think and relax. As soon as the sun rose, you were awake and making a move. You'd met Bill a few times in the past, Joel had taken you up there with him when Bill and Frank had invited him to trade or to just socialise. You adored the couple and they seemed to like you too. Maybe they'd know something, anything. At least they'd take you in for a couple of days, maybe Frank would let you stay with them permanently. He had repeatedly joked about you and Joel moving into the house across from theirs so often you were starting to think he was genuine in his offer.

It took a few days but eventually you were at Bills gate, a little unnerved by how it was unlocked. That wasn't like Bill. You took your pistol from your holster and quietly made your way through the town towards the house. The first indicator something was wrong was that Bill's truck was gone. But more than that, the garden that had once been Frank's pride and joy was in disarray. Your heart was in your throat as you entered their house, calling out to no response. You could smell rotten food as you turned into the dining room. This was bad. You found Bill's note on the table, your heart breaking as you read what had happened. They were gone. That explained their silence recently, Joel had known in his gut that something wasn't right. You wandered through the silent house, taking a photo of Bill and Frank to remember them by and grabbed a change of clothes. You found signs Joel had been there, firstly his shirt still tossed on the bed from where he'd obviously showered and dressed in some of Frank's old clothes. You sat on the bed, the worn fabric wrapped around your hands.

"Where are you Joel…" You muttered and buried your face into the shirt. The smell of Joel still on the fabric. You had only just missed him it seemed. You knew this was a wild goose chase, you were too far behind to catch him and no way of contacting him to find anything out. Your best bet was to keep moving. You were out of the QZ, why not just keep going and see what you could find?

In the next town over, you found a motorcycle. Rusty in parts but perfectly usable condition. It made quicker work of moving across the roads rather than on foot. It was starting to get cold out and the warm engine provided some comfort as you drove with no real destination in mind. The more rural parts were quiet for the most part, the bike attracted a couple of clickers but you were quick to evade them.

Somehow, like the fates decided it, you found yourself in Wyoming and into the hands of a blast from the past you never thought you'd see again. You were hunting, trying to scavenge something to eat when you were tripped by a rope tied discreetly between two trees, the snow hiding most of it. You swore under your breath and rubbed your sore ankle, hardly having chance to react when a gun was in your face. You held your hands up, staring up at the man in front of you.

"I'm not sick. Just lost and looking for food." He motioned with his rifle for you to get up, silent but his eyes said everything. You pushed yourself to your feet and he forced you to walk with him to a couple of others, a few on horseback.

"Found this one on the edge of the forest." He said to a man sat on his horse. He eyed you silently for a moment before whistling.

"I'm not sick." You repeated, getting annoyed now. You'd done so well to avoid anyone else this far and had been caught out by the basic need for food. Another stepped forward with a dog on a short leash.

"She's trained to sniff out infected. If you're lying, she'll rip you apart." The dog was let loose, and naturally it just sniffed at your legs before trotting back to it's handler.

"I fucking told you." You muttered, your arms already aching from holding them up.

"You alone?"

"Yes. Just looking for supplies. I don't want any trouble." A couple of the men laughed.

"They all say that but you turn up here, armed and claiming to be alone." You opened your mouth to argue when a couple of others joined the group. A woman on horseback stopped beside the man interrogating you, looking at him before her eyes fell on you.

"No fucking way." She breathed. "Lower your guns. Now." A few argued with her but she repeated her command as she climbed off the horse. You stared at her as she walked closer, a hand protectively on her pregnant stomach.

"Of all the weird shit that's happened over the past few years, I would never have bet on this." You blinked, watching as the woman pulled her scarf down from around her nose and mouth to reveal her whole face.

"Maria?!" You choked out, staring into the face of your childhood friend. Finally she laughed and wrapped you up in a tight hug. You'd grown up with Maria, your parents lived next door to hers. There was barely a few years in age difference and the two of you had been inseparable. You were even Kevin's unofficial Godmother but you'd been on vacation when the outbreak started and never thought you'd see her again. Maria explained to the group that she knew you and that it was fine. She helped you up onto her horse and told you she was taking you home.

Home turned out to be a highly guarded and fully powered compound in Jackson. It was beautiful. Like something from a storybook. Inside the gates were families, farms, shops and everything. It was a little slice of heaven. Maria explained she'd found this place years ago and had worked hard to get it up and running again, fortified and a safe place to live. She took you back to her house, a modest place near the edge of town. She made tea and explained everything so far, even how she'd found love and was expecting again.

"Oh, speak of the devil and he shall arrive." She smiled as the front door opened.

"I hear you found somethin' while out today." A southern voice came from the hallway. You twisted in your seat and looked up as a man walked in. He looked familiar but you couldn't for the life of you place why.

"More someone actually. Remember me telling you about my best friend growing up? This is her!" Maria smiled warmly as you stood up to greet him, introducing yourself.

"I'm Tommy. It's lovely to finally meet someone Maria has mentioned many times." He chuckled softly as he held out a hand, you shook it as you stared at him. Tommy… it couldn't be…

"It's great to meet you too Tommy." Tommy smiled, kissing Maria's cheek before excusing himself to take a shower. You watched him go before looking at Maria.

"He seems really nice." You smiled, nodding as Maria motioned for you to follow her through to the kitchen. She started making dinner, the two of you talking about things that had happened since outbreak.

"You were in the Boston QZ? Why'd you leave? Other than the obvious FEDRA bullshit." She asked, glancing over at you. "And all alone?" You shrugged a little, chopping some potatoes she'd passed you.

"I was looking for someone. He left on a mission and I haven't heard anything from him so… I tried to find him. Hit constant dead ends and so I figured I'd just keep moving. If I'm meant to find him again then I will eventually." You shrugged again, not wanting to get too upset over it. It seemed ridiculous to even try to find Joel without any information, voicing it out loud made you feel like a stalker or crazy. "It's dumb. I have no way to contact him and no information." You sighed softly. Maria watched you for a moment.

"If he means a lot to you, it makes sense. Is he your boyfriend?" You paused at the question and shrugged. Maria frowned in confusion.

"It's complicated? Or well not really… We just hang out, have sex and seem to always spend our free time together. It's like a relationship but no romance or dates I guess?" Maria laughed as she took the potatoes from you to put them into a pan to cook.

"I swear, you're just as stubborn now as you were back then. You haven't just asked him?" You snorted, leaning against the counter and sipping your tea.

"No. I never thought to." Maria laughed again, making sure everything was cooking before looking over at you.

"Well maybe we can help find him somehow. But you're very welcome to stay here in Jackson if you don't want to go back to Boston." You nodded, chewing the inside of your lower lip as you thought about it.

"I'd like that… I don't have anything to go back to in Boston anymore. Unless he's suddenly shown up there, but I've contacted his radio a few times to no answer." You mumbled, shaking your head to get rid of any negative thoughts before smiling at Maria. "I have you now though! Fifteen years apart and we're back to gossiping and hanging out already." You grinned, Maria nodding.

"There's a little cottage a few doors down that's empty if you want it? It might need a little TLC but it's only been empty for two months." You tilted your head before nodding.

"That sounds amazing. Thank you." Maria looked absolutely elated to have you back in her life, and you felt the same. She told you about her small wedding to Tommy and the plans for the baby. Even showing you the room they'd decorated together when she'd found out she was pregnant. You were happy for her and a little jealous admittedly. You picked up a blanket someone had knitted for the baby, fingers gently playing with it. You noticed a little M in the bottom corner.

"M? Are you going with a M name?" You asked, looking over at Maria who shook her head.

"No we still haven't decided on a name so the woman who made this just put our family initials on it." You glanced back at the blanket again.

"So what is your surname now?"

"Miller."

(Part Three)

[naruhinalife555]

Other prov that pierrot love NaruSaku NaruSaku said NaruHina only fillers when they are not understand that to all characters have fillers. Even to Naruto the hero of the manga. it so patetic to say NaruHina forced when Naruto he is said that he not know much on love or feelings. In manga never kishi never mentioned that Naruto love Sakura like pierrot pierrot he is really exaggerating

You remember the chapter 691 when Naruto confession that he is not know much on love pierrot literally tried to chang it. So to all NaruHina haters that said Kishimoto he is change something or not wanted the Naruto the last movie he is wrong. Kishimoto he is not change noting and not wanted that Naruto will fail in love until 18 age. it just prove how he was involved in all what related to NaruHina

How moment prov that Naruto want to be with Sakura? When he never hug her back?

People said Kishi not giving to NaruHina development but it not like that look people that said Naruto forgot from Hinata even if it shows like that: he respects her and was there for her

And what he did with Sakura? Not give her fuck he is not wanting to do anything for her because he knows that them relationship based on lies !

So if he was love Sakura he was saying her "yes I love you I am did all for you" but again we get forced hug in NaruSaku moment 🤦

When Sai said to Sakura that Naruto love her he is not understanding nothing and Sakura she is going to Naruto literally because sai said to her to Naruto not was much care from Sakura

When Hinata hurted in pain arc Naruto angry much and show feelings this is two prov that Naruto not ignoring or forget from her in Pain Arc

He protected on Hinata in all his pawer this tried prov that to NaruHina have healthy relationship that real

And not forget the acts disgusting of Sakura to Naruto

[blood-injections]

Once in a while I’ll hyperfixate on my own aus and I’m like god this would be SO FUCKING GOOD IF I COULD JUST WRITE IT and I’ll sit back down and crank out a chapter if I’m lucky and then lose all ability I have to write and not touch it again for like two months so the specific one I’d love to post right now except when I do write it it’s. It’s not in order. I started in the middle and I now have like the two beginning chapters and I have a bunch of random scenes idk where they’d be yet and I have the end and there’s like maybe ten chapters but like the amount of the au they cover is so small the finished fic would have to be like fifty chapters at this rate. And each chapter is at least 3k words and so it’s like. I have the main shit figured out but it’s so hard coming up with the filler stuff so so it’s just a big block of very holey cheese and I want to post it but I can’t because I don’t have the beginning and I don’t want this specific one to be fucked up and out of order with funky flashbacks or the future as a start or whatever and then it goes back and tells the story like those are cool but this one I’m doing normal but ohh my god else wise I’d post it right now I’m obsessed with it. It’s that venom sib pornodroid au I posted about forever ago where it’s Pois and Kobra in the place of red and blue in the comics and poisons battery is dying so Kobra has to go and try to get a new one but they deny it because poisons an outdated model so Kobra shoots the dracs and just steals a battery and so they were already coming to recycle poison but now Kobra’s also wanted so they run away to the desert where yes they can still functuon they just like get cut off from the bat city internet system or whatever and they have to run off plus instead of like just plugging in like droids can in the city. But they always wanted to be killjoys were just too scared to risk it all try and escape and preferred to wait for destroya to come save them instead. But now they have no choice but they wanted ti be killjoys anyway so it works out and they get to the desert and choose their killjoy names and are exposed to like the culture and the freedom and all the different ways to say fuck you to BLi and learn that you can change more than just your name and poison embraces genderfluidity and kobra was a female model pornodroid but realizes he’s trans so fucking transgender pornodroid hell yeah. Also he figures out he’s a aroace and he really hates his past so he tries to forget about it and a couple months into life in the desert they meet Jet and ghoul because ghoul got shot like an idiot and jets stitching him up in the diner that was the first shelter they spotted and Kobra and poison come back from a concert or rave and find them there and they hang out a bit and become friends and then a crew and after a few months when poison has totally fallen in love with ghoul but lowkey hat themself because they know they’re not human and can never be and that ghoul would hate them if they knew their secret(Pois and Kobra are hiding that they’re androids. They’re so troubled lmao) and that ghoul could never love them bc they’re not human and they also don’t want to be used or seen as what he was seen as in the city which was a tool and a product not a person. So they’re terrified and so is Kobra but poison gets shot one day a few months into being a crew and tries to hide it but his systems are trying to shut off because they register the injury and he wants to get back to the diner to fix themself but of course ghoul notices that he’s hiding pain and he’s like are you hurt and poison holds out until they get to the diner but then ghoul grabs their wrist and is like I KNOW you’re hurt let us help you let me help you and poison tries to convince him he’s fine and he makes knowing he contact with Kobra who defends him but sounds like an asshole bc he’s like leave them be when they’re obviously not fine and ghoul won’t let him go but poisons blacking out and crying and his systems shut off right there in the foyuer and everyone freaks the fuck out

and Kobra has to take over the situation and fix poisons damage and when they come back online everyone’s like silent and staring at them and they’re fine and they’re like yeah I’m. Im a droid. And Kobra’s like we both are because if they’re going down they’re going down together. But of course ghoul and Jet are amazing and don’t care they’re the same killjoys they’ve come to call their crew it doesn’t matter where they came from they have feelings and shit just like everyone else. And its all okay and ghouls still freaked out because surprise surprise he’s also like madly in love with poison and is now torn becuase of this so when poison rests some more he goes and chainsmokes on the roof and thinks over but finds he really doesn’t care what poisons made of and when poison wakes up and goes up there just to stargaze he instead finds ghoul and they have a nice long talk and poison tells him about their past and reveals that they’re not just a droid but a pornodroid and they just bond and shit and it’s all okay and ghouls like you don’t need to worry I’ll gladly watch the sun rise with you forever becuase they’ve been out on the roof talking all night and poisons like sounds romantic and ghouls like is that alright and poison like blushes and is like of course and the finally kiss like two days later.

And all is well actually everything is great for a few more months until they get in a fight with Korse and he’s like oh look who it is our escaped pornodroids and he talks shit at them like they’re not people and also Kobra hasn’t told anyone he’s trans he’s happy just presenting and not revealing those personal things about himself and his past so only poison knows he was a female pronodroid and while poison has been in love and doing great he’s been still hating himself and his body and his past and he’s totes autistic and is always overwhelmed and shit and every once in a while when he feels himself reaching a limit he takes time to himself to go blow off steam and scream into the desert in the middle of nowhere and shoot stuff or go to a concert or whatever and just empty that overfilling bucket. And when Korse comes he’s already been stressed but then Korse taunts him and calls him terrible shit and he’s like trembling in place as he’s like do your little friends there know what you are? That you’re a product of BLi? A droid? A bitch? And he’s like barely restraining himself but then Korse says something in reference to poison and how they’re an outdated model and would’ve been melted down if the two of them hadn’t malfunctioned and he basically says like a slur as he says that stuff and Kobra sees RED and fucking GOES FERAL AND ATTACKS HIM. And Korse can’t even fucking do anything his gun gets knocked aside and Kobra’s living up to his name and striking like a a fucking viper and absolutely beating Korses face in until he’s like unrecognizable. He’s not even aware of this, it’s a meltdown, he just went into a trance and doesn’t brave out of it until poison like grabs him and he realizes he’s shaking like a leaf and sobbing and he gets pulled away from Korse and they leave and leave him to die because he’s basically on the verge of death(they should’ve shot him though because he does in fact survive) and Kobra is like exhausted now becuase of this meltdown and all his secrets being exposed at once and he rests when they get back to the diner while poison freaks out and stays by his side all night becuase they’ve never seen Kobra like that and didn’t know he was struggling but they should have and once again morning comes and they have a nice long talk and Kobra agrees to be more open with everyone and everything’s fine again and like within a couple weeks he and Jet have formed a queerplatonic relationship and he’s doing better and it’s basically happily ever after but that’s not the end no there like a few year time skip. And poison was already an outdated model when they escaped the city and Kobra was a newer model but now they’re both like ancient in android terms and the desert has taken its toll on their mechanics and their batteries aren’t holding as much power anymore just like when poisons battery died before they escaped the city. Poison starts deteriorating first, limbs becoming stiff and achy, rust in their veins. They know their systems are messed up and there’s not really anything they can do and theyre fucking terrified and once again they hide their problems, they don’t show that they’re aging. But then the glitches start happening and they’re harder to hide and after a while Kobra finally corners him and is like tell me what is going on. I know you’re not okay. And poison breaks down and says his systems are failing again and Kobra with like a haunted expression is like I know it’s happening to me too. But his state isn’t nearly as bad as poison is yet. And like poisons protective of Kobra because he’s their younger brother but Kobra’s even more protective of poison because he already had to watch them nearly die the first time around when their battery was dying and an androids battery dying is akin to a human starving to death but being physically unable to eat or take in any nutrients whatsoever. So he almost lost poison once and he’s not about to do it again, he’s super fucking protective of them and he’s like we need to tell the others and poisons like but I’m scared how do we even fix this,

we’re androids we’re not meant to last for more than a few years and Kobra’s like I don’t know I really don’t trust me I’m scared too but we need to tell them because they’ll figure it out soon anyway and they deserve to know either way and you’re already getting pretty bad and sooner or later so will I. So they sit down their respective partner and tell them and theirs a lot of tears and they all search for tech or upgrades and solutions but can’t find anything good enough and all of a sudden poisons getting real bad real quick, glitching all the time and battery running out faster, and they’re basically about to die again and Kobra feels kind of like he’s failed them and the four of them realize the only way they’re going to save poison and Kobra is if they go to the city. So they do. They sneak in, find the labs, the plan is to steal the tech they need, new parts, new battery’s, whatever they can carry. But a lot of the new stuff isn’t compatible with the older models, not without precious time being lost with the personalizations that would need to be done to the tech to make it compatible, time they don’t have with poisons condition worsening by the day and Kobra also slowing down considerably.

And then an alarm goes off and Jet and ghoul fight off the oncoming dracs while Kobra’s helping poison and he sees all the new models laid out and empty, not programmed quite yet. And he has an idea. Jet and ghoul fight off the first wave of dracs and come back in like we need to get out of here but Kobra explains his idea and they’re like fuck wrought because they can’t leave to make it work. So they all barricade themselves in the lab while Kobra hooks poison into the like machines there to essentially transplant their programming and consciousness into the shell of the brand new android models laying around, because that’s something possible and easier than retrofitting a ton of tech. More dangerous since they have to be in the heart of bat city to do it, but worth it. And while poison in those new body is charging and rebooting Kobra’s up next because he walked Jet and ghoul though the process and now he’s getting his consciousness transferred to a new body too(they make sure it’s a male model this time around :3) and it takes like and hour for them each to reboot with like all systems ready so Jet and ghoul are on their own, doors barricaded, waiting for their best friends to wake up.

But they do, and they fight their way out. They all earn a few injuries but they survive, barely escaping and getting out of the city. But they do, they escape, they get home, and Kobra and Poison are in brand new vessels, they look different but not that much, androids are all pretty similar looking, and you can alter your own appearance somewhat. Kobra’s finally in the body he always wanted so he’s great, and both models are brand new and super advanced so they’re still not really superhuman, but these bodies will definitely hold up a lot longer to the elements, and they don’t have to run off plus, Their batteries last longer and there’s different ways of getting energy, like from eating, where food they ingest is converted into biofuel and they can run off it. Physically they’re more inhuman but simultaneously also more human than ever before. And that’s the definitive happy ending.