#finally finished this wip!!! this one has been sitting in my drafts for more than a year now lol

[swordmaid]

It was more a picture than a proper coat of arms, and the sight of it took her back through the long years, to the cool dark of her father’s armory. She remembered how she’d run her fingertips across the cracked and fading paint, over the green leaves of the tree, and along the path of the falling star. - AFFC Brienne II.

[honeydjarin]

KISS IT BETTER

REX X READER

Rex’s feelings for you have been steadily growing for a while now, but he believes they’re his own burden to bear. When he gets injured, he thinks you might feel the same. When you get injured, he knows for certain.

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: blood and injury

word count: 2,600

a/n: this wip has been sitting in my drafts for a while now, and I finally got around to finishing it. I’m excited to be writing again!

Rex’s affection is a slow, steady thing. It shouldn’t come as a surprise, not when he leads the rest of his life with such level headed strength, but it does. He doesn’t notice the way it settles into the cradle of his ribs, the way it blinks into existence. It falls into place like the stars after a sunset, small bursts of light piercing the dark a handful at a time until there is no question that the sky is full—near bursting. 

The sun seems to set quicker each time Rex sees you, the stars in his heart brighter with every passing day. If it weren’t for his practiced composure and unwavering respect for your position on the Resolute, that affection just might spill out of him, tearing him apart at the seams, his body alone no longer enough to contain his feelings. 

But his emotions are his own, and you haven’t asked, nor offered, to help bear them. 

You’re a medic on the Resolute, one of the few faces onboard that doesn’t match all the others on the Star Destroyer. That distinction alone was enough to spark gossip among the men when you were first assigned to work alongside the 501st. 

Rex didn’t think much of it at the time. Gossip rarely holds weight, and he’s never put any stock in it. A new medic, nat-born or clone, is simply something the 501st was in need of. He didn’t think much of the matter beyond the benefit of having additional hands in the medbay. Maybe he would have paid more attention to the gossip if he had met you before the talk died down. It wasn’t until later, after a particularly rough skirmish that left more men than he felt comfortable with on bed rest, that Rex finally met you. 

You were bouncing around between beds, checking in with the men still on bed rest, when he first saw you. Easy smile, mellow mannered, kind—these are the things about you that stood out to Rex. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Captain,” you greeted as you stepped by him. Of course you already knew of him. His position on the Resolute made it near impossible to not be involved in at least some rumors, just as your status as a non clone made you stand out.  

“Likewise,” he said, the word feeling oddly heavy on his tongue. He had no way of knowing at the time that the first seeds of attraction were already starting to take root. Admiration and attraction can feel a lot alike in their early stages. Maybe it was a mix of both that caused words to fail him. 

“Is there anything I can help you with?” you asked, pausing what you were doing to give Rex your full attention, gaze boring into him with an unexpected weight—like a tractor beam pulling him into your eyes. The steady hold of your gaze was nearly too much to handle. Rex dragged his own eyes away from you then, choosing instead to take in the scene around him, needing a distraction. Most of the beds were full, but enough time had passed since the skirmish that all of the men still in the medbay were stable, and many almost ready to leave. 

“I just wanted to check in on them,” Rex said, nodding at the beds behind you.

“Of course.” You smiled.   

The interaction was brief. You had things to do, and Rex wasn’t in the medbay just to see you—that would come later. But, despite the brevity of the meeting, it was enough for him to get a sense of who you are, enough for you to wiggle your way into his heart—just a little. 

Rex’s affection is a slow, steady thing. By the time he finally realizes just how much of him you really hold, it is too late to change course.  

—♡—

The blood spills from his side slowly. Ever-slipping time allowed the wound to begin clotting, but it’s too big, too deep to heal fully on its own. The blood sticks to his blacks, the still wet stain difficult to see on the already dark colored cloth. 

He was hit by a piece of shrapnel during the last battle. An exploding tank sent pieces of the vehicle and broken droids his way. For the most part, he managed to escape injury, but something managed to nick his side in one of the places his armor fails to cover. Only his now ruined blacks stood between the shrapnel and his skin. 

It will hurt to pull the fraying fabric from torn flesh, but when the time comes, he will grit his teeth and bear it. Rex has been through worse, no doubt, and he surely will again in the future. It’s why he waited to seek out treatment. There are others who need it more, those who might not survive without immediate attention. He doesn’t want to be a hindrance when doing so could harm others. 

Instead of seeking out a medic, he distracts himself. He focuses on what can be done, takes steps that will result in the closest thing to a positive outcome after a battle. He doesn’t expect a medic to seek him out, especially not you.

You walk over to him without hesitation, like you’re singularly focused on reaching him, and Rex wouldn’t be surprised if that was true. The scowl tugging at the corner of your lip and creasing your brow, an unfamiliar expression on your usually smiling face, is aimed directly at him. He has never seen you angry like this before. Even with the harsh look that will inevitably be accompanied by a scolding when you reach him, the sight of you sends his world spinning. 

Maybe he lost more blood than he thought.

“What do you think you’re doing?” You speak as you approach.

“My job,” he responds. This whole conversation seems wrong. While your question was delivered with a tone that made the words sound more like a scolding, his own statement, which should have held an assurance fitting for a Captain, sounds unsure. 

“Kix mentioned you might be injured,” you say. Rex’s hand raises to his side in reflex, cradling the air above his injury but not making contact with the laceration beneath. You hum knowingly, stepping closer to get a better look. 

You swat Rex’s hand aside as you bend down, taking in the injury without actually touching the wound. It’s difficult to see the full extent of what happened with Rex’s blacks still in the way, but the still wet blood soaking into the fabric tells you plenty.  

“I wish you had come to me,” you admonish, pulling out a medkit from your pack. The supplies are reduced from when the battle started—Rex tries not to linger on the implications of that reduction. 

“I had things that needed to get done, just as I’m sure you did.”

“I know. Doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.” You pause what you're doing, looking him in the eye while you talk, as if doing so can make your words sink in. There’s a pained look in your eyes as you speak, like the thought of him being injured makes you hurt with him. It's a look you hide well, but Rex still catches the way you seem to bite your tongue to keep from saying something more.  

You turn your focus back to the injury, setting out to do what you can to ensure it heals as thoroughly and efficiently as possible. If you were petty, you just might tug a little harder than necessary while pulling the fabric of his ruined blacks from the wound. You might use more force than needed to eject the stim into his system, or press the bacta patch onto his skin a little firmer than the adhesive calls for. You would remind him of why it’s important to seek out medical treatment as soon as possible. Maybe next time he would come see you sooner. 

Instead, you’re gentle with the gash.  

You may be unhappy about the fact that Rex got injured, but you’re disinclined to make him hurt anymore than he already does. You can understand why he avoided seeking medical attention, that doesn’t mean you have to be happy about it—not when, of all people, Rex is the one who is hurting. 

“Please try to be careful,” you say as you finish. You stand up, looking him in the eye once more. Your next words slip out before you can stop them. It’s a quiet, almost confession. “I hate seeing you hurt.”   

Before Rex can respond, you step away, off to hunt down others who tried their best to avoid medical attention. Rex is left to wonder if your words were said as a medic, or as something from the heart, something personal. His cheeks warm at the thought. 

Is it wrong for him to hope for more? 

—♡—

“KARK!” The expletive is followed by a series of quieter grumbles and moans. You pull your hand from the drawer to cradle near your chest, eyes burning with unshed tears as you attempt to take in the damage.

Blood bubbles up from your palm, welling for just a moment before spilling over. It drips down your wrist and onto the once sterile floor below.

“Who in Sith Hells keeps a vibroblade with the notepads?” You grumble. 

“Surely not a medic.” You startle despite the familiarity of the voice, turning around to see who has entered the medbay. Rex is taking your hand in his own before you fully process who is standing beside you. His touch is gentle against the delicate skin, his calloused hand nearly as warm as the now throbbing wound on yours. “Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine,” you say. “Nothing a little bacta and a bandage can’t fix.” 

He doesn’t seem to believe you, his frown deepening as you brush off the cut like it’s nothing. Despite the guilt that settles in your gut for being the cause of his displeasure, your cheeks warm at the thought of his concern. 

“Can I help you? Will you let me?” He is already herding you towards one of the beds, guiding you to sit on the edge so that he can gather the necessary supplies. You sigh, not wanting to trouble him any more than you already have, but concede. 

“Fine. But clean your hands,” you demand before telling him where the necessary supplies are kept. 

Rex does as you say without a fuss.

“Are you sure you don’t need stitches?” he asks, brows furrowing as he takes in the wound. He doesn't shy away, used to seeing much worse on a regular basis. It makes your heart sink to think about how much he has seen—how much he has lost. 

“Yes, fortunately. The bacta will be enough.” 

Rex works silently, apologizing when you hiss at the touch of bacta to the wound but not breaking his concentration from the task at hand. He works with the diligence of a soldier. With his attention directed solely on your injured hand, you are given a chance to admire him. 

It’s a habit that started the first time you met him and has only gotten worse with time. You had heard about the Captain of the 501st. His loyalty unwavering, his mind steady and well balanced while his General is so fond of taking risks. You didn’t expect the softened look in his brown eyes. Falling for him was easy.  

“Hey Rex, did you need something from the medbay?” you ask, needing something to distract yourself from his steady hands, from the slow rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathes, from his singular focus on you—even if it is just because you’re injured. 

“Hmm?” He looks up for the first time since he started treating the wound. It’s fully bandaged now, and the pain has all but subsided thanks to the soothing cool of bacta. “Kix said you were in here.” 

His eyes flick away from yours and he clears his throat. It’s not the first time he’s sought you out in the medbay for the simple reason of enjoying your company, but still the decision seems to leave him embarrassed. 

He switches the topic before you can respond. 

“You need to be careful. How can you patch me up if you don’t have any hands to work with?” Rex jokes, a small smile stretching across his lips, eyes gleaming. 

“You know I’m always careful. Of the two of us, you’re the reckless one.” 

You reach out to shove his shoulder, laughing as you do. There isn’t any strength behind it, it’s just a teasing gesture, but you reach out with your injured hand. The aching sting of a cut sets your nerves alight immediately, and you hiss as you pull the hand back to your chest. The bandage holds strong, no blood leaking through, but that doesn’t stop the pain.

Rex pulls the hand back to him, his grip feather light as he traces the edges of the bandage. His brow furrows in concern and it takes an effort not to reach out and smooth the evidence of his worry. You can’t help but think: It’s the perfect spot to place a kiss.    

“Does it hurt a lot?” He asks, growing serious again.

“Just a little.” The thought of kissing Rex must still be stuck in your brain because, before you can stop the words from slipping out, you add, “Maybe you can kiss it better?”    

Rex’s eyes go comically wide, lips parting but no words coming out. Your words surprised him, more than either of you thought possible. You go to pull away, to come up with some excuse about why he doesn’t have to. You try to think of a way to tell him that you didn’t mean it like that (you did), and that he can just forget about it. It was a joke (it wasn’t). The two of you could laugh it off. But Rex’s mind catches up with your request before you can brush it away.

He takes your hand, still cradled gently in his own, and presses his lips to a spot on your palm that wasn’t sliced open by the vibroblade. They linger there for just a moment before he pulls back, keeping your hand by his heart.  

You haven’t offered to help bear the weight of Rex’s feelings for you, but your question is a request for him to see your own, and a hope that he might reciprocate. He can hardly believe it to be true. 

He needs to be sure. 

Rex brings a hand up to your cheek, his fingers barely brushing against the skin there, and it's your turn to be left in shock. Eyes wide, lips parted, a mirror of Rex just moments ago. 

“Does it feel better?” he asks. He leans in closer, merely waiting for permission to kiss you properly. 

“I don’t know. I think you should try it again.” Your voice is barely a whisper, but it’s all the answer he needs. 

Rex’s hand finds a proper place against your cheek, and then he kisses you. His lips are soft against your own, and any worries either of you might have had slip away. 

The kiss is short and sweet, merely testing the waters, but it’s enough to leave you in a daze. You’ve wanted to kiss him for a long time. You wonder if he has wanted it for just as long (you think, maybe, he has).  

You hum, a smile growing wide across your lips, and say, “I’m definitely feeling better now.”

[abysswalkersknight]

Finally finished one of my WIPs! It's been sitting in my drafts for a while so I just spiffed it up a bit.

Basically I starting writing this after seeing a scary mystery movie and a perfectly normal debate with a relative whether it's scarier to be poisoned or unknowingly ingest glass. We're still debating on that, otherwise enjoy!

..............

‘Hmm? Is something amiss Silver?’ inquired Malleus. They were at their usual table in the cafeteria, while he, Lilia and Sebek were already seated with their food, Silver took a bit longer than usual, though glancing at his rumpled hair and drowsier expression seemed to explain his absence well enough. While it was, of course, troubling that Silver had a sleep spell during lunch, Malleus was more concerned about the pitiful amount of food on his charge’s plate ‘are you perhaps feeling ill?’ he says, briefly touching his fingers to the boy’s forehead to check for fever. Silver must’ve still been waking up because all of a sudden he startled violently at the prince’s gentle touch ‘oh, uh, not at all my lord…’ Silver looks down. ‘ah, I don’t remember grabbing this, I must have fallen asleep while standing in line.’

In the background Sebek began to berate Silver for his carelessness though the boy was not at all paying any attention to him while Lilia quietly slid his son a perfectly warm coffee he got earlier. 

‘My, so even in his sleep Silver still drifts towards mushroom risotto.’ marveled the ageing fae, he urges Silver to drink the coffee and smiles as his boy slowly perks up, however Malleus still frowns  ‘are you not going to grab more Silver? You must be famished from all the training you’ve done earlier.’ he says, tapping Silver’s meagre plate for emphasis. His retainer glances back to the endless line and sheepishly averts his gaze ‘it’s alright my lord, I’m not that hungry anyways so I can just eat something after classes’ he quickly murmurs, taking up his fork, but his other guardian was not finished ‘nonsense Silver, one cannot focus on an empty stomach. And from what I recall it will be three hours until both your classes and club activities finish. If you’d like, I'm quite happy to share my food.’ Silver began to fidget slightly at his prince’s persistence ‘no no my lord I couldn’t possibly-’ lifting an eyebrow Malleus could already sense a polite refusal coming so, he politely ignores Silver’s fervent protests and pinches both edges of their plates and quickly switches them, Silver’s plate now had a significantly larger portion of mushroom risotto. Silver sputtered with his hand hovering midair, unsure whether to risk retrieving his original plate or not ‘go on, eat Silver. If you’re unable to eat it all then I’ll simply finish the rest myself.’ Malleus coaxes with a swift bite of risotto. 

Silver sighed fondly, throughout his life the only times his prince paid any attention to the clock were the child’s meal times where the dragon fae would make sure that his charge has had at least three proper meals a day and he’d continuously fuss over Silver like a mother bear if he’d found that the human’s meals were “lacking”. 

‘Oh he was so much worse when you were a wee little babe.’ Lilia would gush whenever Silver mentioned this habit to him ‘back then Malleus would never take his eyes off the clock at home until the time came to feed you, oh he was so worried that he’d forget the time and accidentally let you starve’ then Lilia put a finger to his chin in thought ‘though I suppose his worry may have stirred from that parenting book I lent him that one time. It’s probably become a bit of a habit now but still it warms this old man’s heart to see my boys caring for each other!’ 

While the notion itself was greatly appreciated, there were times where it embarrassed poor Silver when the other students and staff witnesses Lilia’s fatherly doting or whenever Malleus scoops some of his portion onto Silver’s whenever he thought the human wasn’t eating enough, even now the fae flicks a graceful eye to the untouched plate, almost daring the human to go hungry.

Shaking his head, Silver carefully hides his smile and begins to eat.

All was well while they ate, Silver watched contently as his fae guardians conversed with each other and Sebek snapped and tore through his fifth helping of risotto, Silver was worried that he might bite through his fork and wonders if it would help if he caught something for dinner later, Sebek was always mentioning about how hungry he was so perhaps some extra meat would temporarily quell his friend’s voracious appetite.  

Lilia was joyously teasing the prince about his lack of punctuality when Silver felt it, there was something strange about the risotto’s texture. As he chewed slowly Silver found an odd chunk of something hidden within the food, rolling it along his tongue he felt how it crumbled between his teeth though he soon came to believe that it was probably just a particularly large piece of mushroom so he shrugged it off.

Some of these mushrooms are rather big, he thought to himself questioningly as a different mushroom piece suddenly lodges itself somewhere in his throat, Lilia, Malleus and Sebek quickly turn to him as he roughly beats his fist against his chest whilst coughing dryly ‘my, you must have been quite hungry, my dear Silver’ chirped Lilia as he came over and thwacked his son firmly on the back. 

‘No-no…s’not…that’ Silver wheezes, his terror rose as he suddenly bent over and braced one elbow on the table while the other clutched desperately at his neck, everyone else began to panic when Silver’s coughs take on a retching tone, each gasp convulsing his whole body. Immediately Lilia’s hands coiled around the boy’s waist and practically heaved Silver off the floor with every thrust he made, at the third though Lilia had to stop when Silver gave a particularly harsh gag. Everything seemed to pause as a dark scarlet colour splattered all over the pearly white plates and shiny wooden table, gleaming like precious rubies on display.

Everyone broke out of their shocked daze when Silver whined painfully, his ungloved hand reaching into his mouth, trying to grasp at something but his fingers shook terribly and kept slipping. Both Lilia and Malleus cry out, the latter quickly held the boy up gently by the shoulders while the former pries his son’s trembling hand away and replaced it with his own ‘shh, shh, it’s alright Silver, it’s alright, Papa’s here…’ Lilia coos softly, trying to soothe his panicking child while trying to ignore the blood that slicks his nimble fingers, making it difficult to grip anything… Ah ha! There! As light as a feather Lilia took hold of something rock solid and gently, he tugged on it, taking great care to avoid hurting his boy even more. Slowly but surely something was coming out, blood thickly spewed out before revealing a distorted clear piece of glass pinched between Lilia’s fingers, small enough to remain hidden but big enough to potentially tear up a throat’s insides. Malleus stares at the glass with a look of outraged disbelief, who would dare-!

‘My liege!’ Both fae quickly turn at Sebek’s cry. The knight had searched through Silver’s risotto and has dug out three more pieces of glass of similar sizes to the one lilia had just pulled out, Sebek looks at Silver worriedly and promptly rushes to his side when the human whimpers and gasps out more blood ‘quickly! Help me take him to the infirmary!’ lilia barks, hoisting Silver up by one side and Sebek soon taking the other. In the rush Malleus was left behind with the staff on duty to control the excited crowd, he hadn’t wanted to of course, he had to be at Silver’s side, making sure that he was being properly treated, to think that there was someone within the school who had the absolute gall to do something so despicable to someone under his care, to target Silver- wait.

He thought back to the beginning of lunch, to his and Silver’s plates… They weren’t going after his retainer, they were targeting Malleus. His fists clenched, so hard that he felt some seams in his gloves tear. When I get my hands on whoever’s done this-

He had only wanted to make sure that his charge was well fed, but in his folly all he did was unknowingly feed Silver a plate filled with tampered food, and now this has happened. Glass in their food would have only been a minor inconvenience to fae like Lilia and Malleus, as was possibly the perpetrators prior intentions, but clearly the same cannot be said for humans, as was seen with Silver. For that alone I will slowly tear them apart, he thought dangerously, tis only right, they have hurt what is mine and as crown prince of Briar Valley it is my duty to put them in their place. But first, he must attend to Silver who should be in the infirmary by now… Malleus can only hope that his charge won’t suffer any long lasting ailments due to this. With that thought in mind, the dragon prince disappears in a flurry of green lights.

By the time he arrived Silver was fast asleep in one of the few infirmary cots, his parted mouth emitting weak wheezy breaths. Lilia sat at the head, tenderly stroking his boy’s soft locks ‘the nurse said he should be fine’ the old fae says without glancing up, moving closer something in Malleus’s chest tightens when he finds little splotches of dried red in the corner of Silver’s pale mouth ‘how bad was it?’ he murmurs, bending down to caress Silver’s cheek, the boy showed no signs of stirring. Lilia hummed and gestured to a tray on the other side of the cot, on top was a smaller, cruel looking piece of glass ‘apparently that bit must have broken off the one I pulled out’ he mumbled looking at his now gloveless hand, his eyes flick back to Malleus ‘let me guess. You have come to the same conclusion as I?’ it was not a question ‘good, then it is alright to ask that you remain here with Sebek at Silver’s side while I go handle this.’

Malleus blanched, what? No! He won't have Lilia do this alone! It was unbecoming of the prince to back down from such a blatant challenge. But just as he was about to protest, his guardian pinned him down with the general’s sharp gaze ‘no Malleus, while I’m well aware of your power, remember that this was an attack staged against you, little Silver simply had the misfortune to be the recipient of it, and we don’t want any unfortunate incidents happening as well, do we?’ he grins maliciously, it was then Malleus recalled just who he was speaking with, he may have changed immensely over the centuries but this was still Lilia Vanrouge, general of the right and one of the most feared fae out there. And someone had just signed their death sentence the moment that glass was placed, not only had they targeted his first child and prince of Briar Valley, they had even wounded his second child with such a callous method and now here he was resting in an infirmary with a torn up throat, how could Lilia ever let something like this slide without punishment.

Even better they have made an attempt on Malleus’s well being, Lilia thought his talons twitching with unbridled bloodlust, that means I can go all out as his guard.

I hope the staff catch them quickly.

His grin widens.

Otherwise I’m going to have some fun.

[poupeesdecirque]

Posting by Queue, or: why I need some distance from my crafts

It has been some time since my last hobby meta blog entry, it had different reasons and one is that I need distance. Like, yes I of course enjoy crafting and sometimes I am like a little child that runs everywhere to show off things.

But it got ... less intense. And I learned I do better when I keep projects or at least details to myself to sit on them for longer. That the first euphoria is purely mine and not to be shared.

Like for my photos I have a buffer of several weeks now. Yes, I know past-me would have kind of hated that. But I learned I do better when I have a time buffer. I do take photos weekly but sometimes they don't feel special enough to get the weekly photo feature?

Friday & yesterday I went out for photos and while I like the ones from yesterday way more than the ones from friday I am not sure if the set from yesterday will get the feature or not as it's only a hand full of photos giving me that certain spark.

Other than that I am a very emotional artist, I sometimes really fuck up my art and hate it at the moment I worked on it, but then, sometimes, after a few days or weeks I can look at it and just wonder about what was my problem the day I made it.

Another thing is that I, myself, enjoy my art. The process of it. And I like to see my blog updating, sometimes I forget what post will go online and then I check the blog and think "ah yes, this was that thing!", and it reminds me why I made the blog overall, to show myself I had progress and that every tiny step counts.

Which leads to another reason why I hold back in regards of posting. Yes, I do share some snippets in my stories over on insta but not always and not all. I sit on over 300 drawings from the last two years alone nobody ever will see, I enjoyed drawing but it's nothing for the public eye. I will maybe go back and redraw some and share the redraws then, who knows?

But wait, there is actually more reasons.

The biggest or main reason is ... i sometimes go really wild on projects. In January I finished so many dolls it was insane, I worked on Cosplays and other crafts in an incredible speed, I have literally no idea where I found the time but I somehow did and doll parts arriving every week did the rest.

I keep the blog running with partially 2 month old stuff but .... to be honest I don't have doll stuff aside photos to do anymore. All I can do is wait for bodies to be shipped (or dolls even) and arrive. There has been no movement since January. Aside Iza getting the shipping notice for our Split, might take a while until its at her place and I can't really start on the Akuma until I got the body (which I at least have finally ordered this month) as colors need to be matched and mods to be made.

I am truly itchy to do something else than sewing all the time, I do enjoy cosplay but you know how much I like sewing (hint: not at all). So to remind myself of the fun I had in the past weeks I have mixed my blog to bless me with some progress I had which was maybe not sewing all the time. And well, the Cosplays have deadlines and I do get some ideas aside purely sewing while doing them, so that keeps me going for now.

Yes, I could start redoing dolls like Alastor or Erwin. But you know what? IT'S ALMOST ALL SEWING. Urgh.

Aside that real life is pretty good at eating me up and I just want to enjoy crafting. Right now drawing feels like stress relief but I hate the results and just scan the pieces and put them away to never look at them again, I have a bunch of posts queued up without any captions, a wip entry of a current project only has two photos but I lack the spoons to actually get them done. But since those posts are so far back it's fine (yes I know drafts are a thing).

In general I enjoy having my art to myself to get used to it before I put it out into the wild as I just recently got reminded I do bad with direct comparisons still and it hits some triggerpoints from the past and makes everything harder, I don't need that.

I literally have no idea if this blog makes sense even, lol. I just am tired of sewing and stopped working on my current project around lunch time and have drawn so much today and I walked way too much the whole week my friends urged me to stay the ef home and at least try to relax. But I'm restless as my body is too stressed (I know it all I'm a certified relaxation trainer so eh), so, have an over the place blog entry.

[chayscribbles]

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ june 2023

☆ STATISTICS.

words written: 13 022

projects worked on: Andromeda Rogue mostly but i've been swatting at Shiny New Ideas left and right with a tennis racket. also i thought about Gemini Heist really really hard and i think that counts for something

proudest accomplishment: AR1 draft 2 is done!!!!!!

books read: After Atlas by Emma Newman; Everyone In My Family Has Killed Someone by Benjamin Stevenson; Exit Strategy (Murderbot Diaries #4) by Martha Wells. all excellent reads. (sidenote two out of three of these books involve murder investigations and the third has murder in the title. i'm sensing a theme in my reading.)

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

i am still terrible at being consistent at writeblr-ing. i guess this is just my life now.

i'm debating using camp nano to actually hunker my ass down and get some writing done on gemini heist, but between work and apartment hunting and a possible move by the end of the month i don't know how feasible that's gonna be :') we'll see.

and no i'm not glossing over the fact that i have a finished second draft. i'm just saving my screaming for below the cut.

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA ROGUE (draft 2)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(i wasn't kidding about the screaming.)

so this draft now sits at 85.7K, which is about 11.8K added from the first, and although it is still faaar from perfect it is definitely... better than the draft i finished 2 years ago. it's insane how much my writing has improved, between all the reading i've been doing and first drafting the two sequels of the trilogy.

that being said there still are a lot of things i know need to be fixed, but i'm at the point where if i try to fix them on my own i'll be stuck on them forever.

enter the betas!!! i'm planning on doing an ~official~ beta call next week but honestly if you're interested in beta-ing this book feel free to hmu right away!! ultimately i want to self-pub this thing (which is quite overwhelming to think about hhhhh) but one thing at a time :')

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

i really couldn't decide what snippet to post so this was admittedly chosen a bit at random lmao. this is from when the gang is approaching their destination for their expedition.

On the external display, Mohani loomed ahead, growing larger every second. The planet was almost entirely a deep blue, except for some white spots at its poles. It reminded Finneas of his final glimpse of Ghillairde when he was leaving it behind for the last time. For a disorienting second, it almost felt like he was returning to his birth planet. But soon, the ship was close enough to see the sandy outline of the continents. The blue wasn’t all ocean. Some of it was trees. He directed the ship towards the landing coordinates just as Petra arrived in the bridge, clutching several barf bags. “Good to see you’ve come prepared, Lacroye,” he commented. “You’re already looking green, and we haven’t even entered the atmosphere yet.” She grumbled something unintelligible in response as she took her place in the copilot’s chair.

one of my editing notes for draft 2 was to make Petra's starsickness worse😆

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

general taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @onomatopiya @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore @innocentlymacabre

andromeda trilogy taglist:

@bebewrites @nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @onomatopiya @akindofmagictoo @quilloftheclouds @nora-theteawriter @ashen-crest @corpsepng @writeblrfantasy @toboldlywrite @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @cheerfulmelancholies @extra-magichours @writeouswriter @cilly-the-writer @lefttigerobservation @rose-bookblood @drowsy-quill @chazzawrites @cynic-and-chief @enchanted-lightning-aes @aesa @outpost51

[yoonia]

foreword: 2023

back to writing ✍️

Happy New Year 2023!! 

I know I’m late for this, but I had to start the new year with a massive hole inside my heart. Last year was a rough ride, and I just want to thank everyone who had been there with me through it all. For those of you who have been following me for years, for those of you who had only found me last year, and for everyone who had just stumbled upon my blog recently, I truly appreciate every single one of you. 

Usually, I would end the past year and start the new with an overview of my journey, but after a hard year, I figured I’ll change things up and simply drop this post to say hi and give you a quick update. Nothing much is going to change in my blog, but I am trying to do my best to grow as a writer, so let’s just say that I have many things to offer. 

Coming into the year, I have set a goal to finish a few of my impending series (eg. About Time, In Motion, Shifters series) while working on to post most of the WIPs that have been sitting in my draft for an entire year. Please be patient with me as I start working on them one at a time. Meanwhile, some of my discontinued series/fics will be taken down and moved into my Patreon, which has been in the process of happening starting from last year. 

For more updates and announcements—whether it’s about my blog, personal, or my writing process—I will be adding them regularly into my Schedule Post. So please always refer to the post mentioned for any questions regarding my update/posting schedules. 

My Patreon is still open with more special contents coming up, and my Ko-Fi is available for those of you who enjoy reading my works and are interested to send some support. You can find all the links on my navigation page.

As a little bonus for everyone, I will be giving you a sneak peek of my WIPs that will be coming this year (aside from the series mentioned above). I’m crossing my fingers while hoping that this year will be much better than the last, and I do hope that you will all be there to join the ride.

Until we meet again.

xoxo, Dia

!!Bonus: Sneak peeks of my upcoming WIPs!!

⟶ Title | Eternal Sunshine - Epilogue for Spotless Minds ⟶ Character | Hoseok x reader ⟶ Genre | Past Lovers!AU, New Beginning, inspired by Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Minds (yes, the movie) ⟶ Summary | You had always felt like meeting him was a chance of fate. He had always been the missing piece of the puzzle that you had been searching for, the beautiful stranger who had somehow become your home. But when your soul seems to refuse to stop searching, you begin to find scraps of the past that had somehow gone missing, erased and forgotten, hiding the pain that would have tainted the perfect life that you had built together. Suddenly, you are given a chance to open the pandora box, to collect the missing scraps of your past. Would you dare to open it and risk what you have with him, or would you leave it alone and move on, just the way you had decided to do a long time ago? ⟶ Ratings & Warnings | +18/Mature

read here

⟶ Title | Alpha’s Inferno ⟶ Pairing | Namjoon x OC/female original character ⟶ Genre | Vampires!au, Werewolf!au, Alpha!Namjoon, Vampire!OC, Smut, Angst ⟶ Summary | Alphas can only be stronger with a mate. Losing his Destined had almost sent Namjoon into the wilderness, to an illness known to shifters as the Mating Sickness. Fighting his illness, the Alpha continues to lead his pack of misfits all on his own since. Facing betrayals, living constantly with distrust, losing his allies, and finding his own pack slowly crumbling into disarray as he slowly succumbs into his sickness. But the war has turned enemies into allies, and hate becomes love, and he wasn’t completely ready to find the Moon Goddess giving him a second chance to find love in the form of the being that he had once distrusted the most. ⟶ Ratings & Warnings | +18 / M for Mature

read teaser here

⟶ Title | Flux: Blindsided - from Flux! the series, final instalment ⟶ Character | Yoongi x reader x Jungkook ⟶ Genre | Polyamorous!AU, Smut, Angst ⟶ Summary | Yoongi never knew that he did not only take your heart and soul when he walked out the door, but Jungkook’s as well. He had left the two of you behind by making you both believe that he was giving things up all due to his fear and insecurities. Little do you know that nothing is truly that simple. And it never really would. ⟶ Ratings & Warnings | +18/Mature

read teaser here

⟶ Title | The Bedroom Hymns ⟶ Pairings | Min Yoongi x female reader ⟶ Genre | Fairy Prince!Yoongi, Princess!reader, Fantasy au, Faerie au, Angst, Mystery, Smut ⟶ Summary | Being the only daughter of the Wicked King has kept you living in a sheltered life. Never once you were given the chance to see the world beyond the walls of your father’s old castle, and yet, it had never stopped you from hearing all the dark rumours of your father’s indiscretions which had left you to continue living in the shadows. When the day comes for your father to send you to live in his castle by the sea, he left you with a new rule set in place. You are left with a set of keys, one which would lead you to travel through the thousand magical doors inside his castle, but you are to never leave through the front door or to step foot through the golden door at the end of the hall. (A twist from Bluebeard. Spoiler: the Wicked King is Bluebeard himself) ⟶ Ratings | +18 / M for Mature ⟶ Warnings | Dark topic, explicit sex (more warnings will be added as I continue writing this)

read here

⟶ Title | The Whispers in The Mist ⟶ Pairings | Min Yoongi x female reader ⟶ Genre | Ghost!Yoongi, Reincarnation au, Angst, Mystery, Smut ⟶ Summary | He first came to you through your dream, luring you to find him, only to always wake up with his shadows fading with the rising sunlight. But when you can still feel his presence in the daylight, when you keep finding traces of his existence wherever you look, you start to wonder if perhaps he is more than just an object of your lucid dream. Perhaps what you have been seeing at night are your forgotten memories, and he is finally here to help you unravel every part of it, until you could finally remember who he really was.   ⟶ Ratings & Warnings | +18 / M for Mature; Dark topic, sacrilege, explicit sex scene (more warnings will be added as I continue writing this)

Teaser available on Patreon!

⟶ Title | G.H.O.S.T: The Hacker’s Tale — Carousel side story ⟶ Pairings | Hoseok x OC/female reader (feat. Yoongi/Jungkook) ⟶ Genre | Hacker!Hoseok, Assassin!reader, Detective!Jungkook, CEO Yoongi, angst, suspense, mystery ⟶ Summary | Always have an escape plan. Jung Hoseok has always been the curious boy, too smart for his own good, and has lived on the edge for as long as he could remember. Living in the shadows, he had operated under the name “G.H.O.S.T” and nobody had ever managed to catch his trail. All except for one man, who had not only given him a chance for redemption, but also a reason for him to survive, and you, the shadow that he had overlooked for a long time, but always ready to come out into the light before he gets far too deep into his own darkness.

Teaser 1 is available on Patreon; read teaser 2 here

⟶ Title | Bad For You: Undercover - A Spin-Off ⟶ Character | Taehyung x reader ⟶ Summary | They say only the strongest women can love men like him. You thought you could take the challenge, but what happens when life and everything around you challenge you back? ⟶ Genre | Stripper!au, Stripper!Taehyung, Smut, Angst, Mature theme ⟶ Ratings | +18 / M for Mature

⟶ Title | Nefarious; In Motion - a side story ⟶ Character | Jimin x reader | note: with POV changes ⟶ Summary | Welcome to Club La Rouge, where your sexual fantasies come to life. For the past year you have been a member to the club, never once had they failed to help you indulge in your deepest and darkest need, the desire to embrace a part of you that you had never been able to show anyone else before. Tonight, however, you are met with a disappointment when your arranged ‘date’ had bailed on you. But just as you are ready to turn away in defeat, you cross path with the lovely attendant whose gentle gaze and soft smile have always been able to make you fluster more than any dates you have been with. You know that accepting his offer might cause some inconveniences for both of you, but do you really have it in you to say no? ⟶ Genre | Sex Club!au, Gentlemen Club!au, Smut ⟶ Ratings | +18 / M for Mature

— © 2023 @yoonia​, all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any kind is not allowed. translations are not allowed.

[the-lady-amphitrite]

— A FAIRYTALE BEGINNING | chapter 8

halcyonic mirage

pairing: Loki / f!half-Asgardian!Reader word count: 4,436 summary: there is far more to the soulmate spell than your family has ever told you in this chapter: the rest of the conflagration finally appears on page, more series lore, brief/non-descriptive discussion of blood magic and curses, Odin appearing briefly on page in the beginning, this chapter earns more points for the "idiots in love" tag, and so much hand-holding author notes: hi! hello! how are all of my readers? no this fic is not dead, nor am i. it's just been slowly roasting in the oven the last several months. i finished the first drafts of ch9 to ch22 back in November as part of NaNoWriMo, and have been slowly working my way through editing, rewriting, and finishing the rest of the fic since December. i picked up working on a few other wips along the way too, hence the long silence. my bad. the good news: a few chapters are basically ready to go! i just have to finish working on some stuff with edits and rewrites for this, but for the most part a lot of this fic is written now.

( previous chapter | read on ao3 | series masterlist )

The feast is loud. Cheers, jeers, and the sounds of tankards being tossed to the floor ring across the entire Great Hall as Álfablót truly gets underway this evening.

You’re at a long table with friends and friendly faces, not far from where (hours ago now) the royal family sat to welcome the emissaries from Álfheimr. Now you’re sitting on top of the table, legs tossed over Loki’s lap as she traces shapeless lines on the palm of your hand she holds. You switch between jesting with the others in this mixed company, joking and telling tales with a few of your friends, and speaking quietly with only Loki.

As loud and exuberant as your friends are, and as boastful of their past and future deeds as Baldr and his friends are, you love this. You’re drunk on the bright atmosphere of celebration as you lay your head on Loki’s shoulder, and she continues to trace senseless patterns on your palm while the table laughs.

Somewhere out in the hall, your conflagration wanders and mingles with others. With Álfheimr’s emissaries, with visitors and ambassadors from various other realms, and with Æsir from all across this realm. The most glaring absence for visitors or ambassadors is the lack of Drekasál from Eldgard, Gymirsgard, or any other realm. There are only twelve dragons on Asgard, just as there’s been for as long as you can remember.

Near the head of the room, where the royal family sat, your father and uncle stand with the All-Father and the ambassador of Lakonía, one of the distant realms of Yggdrasil allied with Asgard. You have no idea what the four of them are discussing, nor do you care all that much. It’s likely politics or warfare related, knowing your father. You would rather focus on the revelry around you. On this celebration of Asgard’s peace treaty and alliance with Álfheimr.

That is, until you hear it.

There’s a sudden low hush that washes across the room in a quick wave. All the sounds of the feast suddenly drop in pitch. You hear the sudden drop-off of the skalds music, and that’s when your table finally turns its attention to the rest of the hall.

She strides through the hall without even a glance at those she passes. Like a goddess on a warpath. Dark in colour, the brightest points on her are the shining beads adorning her half-dozen braids and the bits of shining metal over dark leather. All eyes in the hall are on the stranger as she aims straight for the All-Father.

All three royal children rise slowly, Loki’s boots thudding softly on the bench seat as she drops your hand. The rest of your table tenses, readying for whatever signal they might give next. Your eyes flick quickly from Loki back to the woman, watching for whatever action your best friend chooses to take.

And then the stranger breaks free from the crowds, allowing you your first genuine look at her.

You notice the braids adorned in beads and the flashes of silver metal that protect her as she passes through the crowd. The combination isn’t remarkable. Most of the people here wear something similar, but then you spot the insignia emblazoned across her breastplate.

A down-pointed sword with the silhouette of two dragon-form Drekasál wrapped around the blade. An insignia that declares her to be a full-fledged himingarpr.

It says to you — and to others who know what it means for a Drekasál to become a himingarpr — this drekakona has a deep sense of loyalty to the Burning Crown, that she upholds the will of the Voiceless One, and that she has the desire to protect the lives of other Drekasál.

She is a dragon you can trust without reservation, just as you trust the himingarpar in your conflagration.

Even knowing what the insignia means, the sight of a new dragon in Asgard this evening shocks you. You can’t help but to reach out with your dragon-sense, checking what you’re already so sure of. Even from across the hall, you can feel that faint impression of her dragon. That distinct, irreplicable feeling you feel from every Drekasál in your conflagration. In your family.

Seeing the insignia and feeling her dragon, you relax. You take Loki’s hand, tugging lightly to catch her attention. When she looks down, you say loud enough that your entire table can hear, “She’s a himingarpr. She has the insignia, and I can tell from here she’s a Drekasál.”

At your words, the entire table relaxes, though they’re all still wary. It makes sense they are. For you, the drekakona’s arrival is little more than a curiosity; for them, she’s an unknown, even if she’s not a threat. She’s likely a last-minute ambassador from Eldgard, though you have no idea who she is. Asgard hasn’t seen a visiting Drekasál since the war between Asgard and Jǫtunheimr, so the arrival of an Eldgardian ambassador this year is a surprise.

When the drekakona stops several feet shy of the All-Father, he turns his lone eye on her, his horn of ale raised as if he was about to take a drink. Placing her left fist over her heart and lowering her head, she speaks loudly and clearly enough for her voice to be carried across the Great Hall.

“Hávi, it is an honour to stand before you. I am Helga, daughter of Tryggvi, who is the son of Thýri. I come to your realm this evening to continue my search for my soulmate. With your leave, I would like to begin my search in this hall before searching the city and then the rest of your realm in my quest to find them.”

Curiosity and excitement spark through you at her words. She’s not an ambassador, but (in your opinion) the truth of why she’s here is far more exciting.

Helga Tryggvadóttir has come to Asgard on her Soul Quest, a quest all Drekasál go upon to find their soulmate once they’ve come of age. It could take hours, or it could take centuries. Some might even put the quest on pause for other events in their life, but no dragon truly stops searching until they’ve found their soulmate.

Lady Tryggvadóttir looks up, dropping her hand back to her side. Her words were blunt, carrying all the grace of a dragon on the hunt. You wonder if you will be like that in a decade, when you are wandering Yggdrasil in search of your soulmate.

The silence that grabbed hold of the hall continues to ring through the air, and it feels as if it grows heavier the longer it goes on. You can’t remember a time when any feast has ever been this quiet for quite this long. A few seconds when something interesting catches the attention of the entire hall, but never longer than that.

You hear a goblet being dropped deep from the other side of the Great Hall. Then, finally, the All-Father dips his head at the drekakona and holds his hand out to her.

“Welcome to Asgard, Lady Tryggvadóttir. May your search in my realm be a short but fruitful one,” he says. Lady Tryggvadóttir places her hand in the old god’s, allowing him to give it a partial lift before the touch is broken. When he introduces her to your father, your uncle, and then to the Lakonían ambassador, you know that he’s not the soulmate she’s seeking. Such an occurrence would be subject to far more fanfare, especially considering who he is.

A quick touch of palms quickly establishes that neither your father nor the Lakonían ambassador is her soulmate, and after a few brief minutes of conversation, she excuses herself and slips back into the crowds to continue her search. The sounds of the feast had picked up after the initial introduction, but the volume level rises farther now that she’s slipped away from the spotlight.

Loki sits back down, her hand tucked between yours once more as the conversation at your table picks back up. You find yourself distracted, unable to keep your attention on the conversations around you. Your gaze keeps floating back out to the hall, continuously searching for glimpses of the drekakona as she weaves her way around groups. You watch as, time and again, Lady Tryggvadóttir stops to introduce herself and speak to various beings. She never lingers for more than a few minutes once she’s sure none of them is the soulmate she is seeking.

It fascinates you how so many watch her, even after she excuses herself from their presence. You wish she would drift closer to your table, so you might meet her, but you watch how steadfastly she moves in the opposite direction. She’d locked eyes with you just minutes ago, and you’d straightened up, hoping she would come over so you might meet her. Instead, she had excused herself from the noblewoman she spoke with to move away from your table.

Some part of you wonders if she’s avoiding you, though you can’t fathom why she might. You only want to meet her, to learn about her.

Lady Tryggvadóttir fascinates you in a way no other Drekasál has before. Daughter to a dragon you don’t know the name of, a himingarpr of no renown, and seemingly with no other purpose in visiting the Realm Eternal than to seek out her soulmate. The combination is what fascinates you about her. If she had come from a dragon of great renown or had made a name for herself, you would be far less interested in her. Yet here she is, an unknown dragon wandering the hall and conversing with so many who already have made a name for themselves.

In truth, it’s not her lack of prestige that fascinates you, but why she is here. She’s looking for her soulmate. Most of the Drekasál on Asgard don’t have a soulmate, but none of them ever leave to search for theirs either. They won’t tell you why, and you’d hoped maybe this new dragon would maybe be able to answer you since your conflagration refuses to.

Perhaps after tonight’s feast, you’ll be able to track her down and speak with her before she leaves the city. You have so many other questions for her as well. Your conflagration has lived in Asgard for so long now. What are the other realms like now compared to what your conflagration remembers?

Eventually, you lose sight of her as she wanders farther and farther from your table. You let yourself get lost in the conversations, trying not to dwell on the visiting drekakona. At least, not for the evening. You’ll enlist whoever you can to help find her tomorrow.

You’re finishing off another goblet of the sweet berry juice you’re so fond of when Loki tugs your hand to get your attention. When you look away from Gauti, and one of the young Einherjar trainees you’ve forgotten the name of, she’s looking at you with wide, gentle eyes, and a soft smile.

“Come dance with me?” Loki asks, tilting her head towards where other feast-goers have started line dancing.

The music has changed from general revelry to songs for dancing. Now that you’re paying attention to the melody, you can feel the urge to clap and dance with those already dancing. And yet, when Loki stands up and holds a hand out to you, you hesitate, goblet at your lips as you stare at her.

That half-second hesitation seems to be a bit much for Thor.

"Go dance with my sister, Firefly!" Thor says, gently — but with plenty of force — pushing against your back. That large, exuberant smile he's known for is on his face, encouraging you on. Gauti and the Einherjar trainees are quick to encourage you to leave and dance with Loki too. You can feel warmth blazing across your face, surprised at the sudden insistence from everyone that you dance with your best friend.

At the other end of the table, Baldr lifts his goblet into the air.

"Here here! Go dance, little dragon! Show my sister what a great dancer you are!" Baldr cheers. Baldr’s friends are quick to joining the cheer.

You laugh, a bit nervous from suddenly having the entire table cheering you on. Still, after a few more moments you place your hand in Loki's and stand from your seat atop the table. A roar of cheers from the table go up, and several tankards and goblets are tossed to the floor. You can't help but smile a bit sheepishly as Loki helps you down.

Your goblet clatters onto the table as Loki pulls you away from it, leading you towards the group of people dancing.

The line dance is one you both know well, so it’s easy for both of you to slip in at the end and join them. With every turn, every clap, every jump, it seems like the world grows brighter. Loki’s face is lit up with a wide grin as the two of you mirror the other dancers. Her joy is contagious as she takes your hands, twirling you around her as she leads the both of you through the steps. So much so that it envelopes your heart, making the room shine ever brighter. Soon enough, you’re laughing too as she spins you away from her, hopping into the air as you twirl around before returning to her side.

In perfect harmony with Loki and the other dancers, you step, twirl, and clap in time to the music. The more the tempo picks up, the more it all blends together. The movements, the sights, the sounds. It’s a moment of freedom, of sheer joy as you dance with Loki, never wanting to look away or let your hands leave hers even when they have to.

There is a sudden jump in noise from the crowd, one that you don’t pay attention to. You’ve been to enough of these feasts that you’ve learnt something will always cause a scandal, and you’d rather enjoy this dance than pay attention to whatever the cause of gossip is tonight. You’ll hear about it tomorrow, you always do.

It’s only when the music slows — and then stops mid-dance — that you take a moment to listen, and realise what everyone is talking about.

Lady Tryggvadóttir has found her soulmate.

Her soulmate is Lord Ivarr, Lady Katla’s heartmate.

You dart off into the crowd without waiting to hear more, pushing your way past and dashing between groups to where you know the conflagration usually gathers during these events. A flurry of words dances in and out of your ears from every group you pass, none of them sticking long enough for you to understand what’s being said. When you finally reach where their table is, you stop.

Lady Katla is sitting alone, looking lost in thought as she stares towards the far doors that lead out of the hall. While Lord Tórbjǫrn stands only a few feet away, he’s speaking with Lady Ásta, though his eyes keep darting back to his sister as he does. Lord Hákon is sitting on the table, much as you were earlier, while your mother, uncle, and Lady Brynja form a half-circle around him. Lord Félagi is nowhere to be seen (though this doesn’t surprise you too much, considering what you know about the drekamaðr). Lord Ivarr and Lady Tryggvadóttir are also absent, which both confuses and surprises you.

Gauti comes from your right, moving right past you and heading towards his mother, Lady Ásta. Loki appears on your left, stopping beside you.

“Where are they?” She asks in a whisper. Like you, she’s looking around, trying to see if she can spot the newly bonded pair.

You can’t help but wonder if you would care as much about who Lady Tryggvadóttir bonded to if it hadn’t been Lord Ivarr. If her soulmate wasn't a beloved part of your family.

“I don’t know. They weren’t here.”

You take Loki’s hand, the two of you closing in the half-circle around Lord Hákon. The four dragons look at Loki, assessing her in a way that (for reasons you can’t put a name to, but that you can feel) annoys you. You glare at them, though Lord Hákon lets out a brief chuckle at your glare.

“Suppose you’re wondering where they are, little dragon?” Lord Hákon asks with a smile.

“We heard, well, everyone talking about it,” you tell him, glare disappearing. You’re wondering if you misunderstood their looks at Loki because of the drekamaðr’s rather relaxed attitude when he speaks.

“Firefly wanted to meet Lady Tryggvadóttir, so we came over to see her now that she’s bonded to Lord Gunnarsson. Where have they gone?” Loki’s voice is firm, with not an ounce of give in her words as she looks around. You can’t help but look at her with a bit of awe at how she stares four dragons down with steel in her spine. Even Thor and Baldr give a little when the conflagration turns their eyes to them, but Loki doesn’t seem bothered at all by having so many dragons staring at her.

“Gone, for the evening at the least,” Lord Hákon tells her with a shrug of his shoulder. “We won’t see them until they’re ready. Could be tomorrow. Could be a week from tonight. All up to them.”

You turn to your mother and uncle, the question on the tip of your tongue. Your mother answers it before you’ve even said a word.

“Newly bonded pairs spend time alone until they’re both ready to be seen together again. This is normal, little starlight.”

“How long was it before you and Uncle Sveinn were seen again?”

“Three and a half days. That’s close to average. Part of the time is spent learning about each other, especially if you don’t know each other before the bond shows itself.” She places a gentle hand on your cheek, smiling at you. “You’ll see, some day.”

You frown, disappointed that you won’t see either dragon for several days at least. Still, if no one else is concerned…

Your eyes look past the other dragons, to Lady Katla. She’s still sitting there, alone and looking almost like she’s longing to be anywhere else but this hall. Is she concerned? Is she worried about Lord Ivarr? He’s one of her heartmates after all; you can’t imagine Lady Katla not being worried for him with all that Lord Ivarr means to her.

Letting go of Loki’s hand, you walk away from the others to where Lady Katla sits. When you stop next to her, she looks up at you, blinking almost like she’s in a mild daze. Something inside you softens, saddens. You sit down next to her, neither of you speaking for several long moments.

“You just looked lonely,” you tell her, softly enough so only she can hear you. “I thought you might want a friend.”

Her eyes widen, and she blinks a few times before she gives a slight smile.

“You are an odd drekabarn, little firefly.”

You can’t help the smile you give her as you say, “I know, Lady Katla.”

“Katla,” she says as she looks away once more. “Just Katla.”

◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦

“… and that is how the High Lady Auðhild discovered that, in certain cases, blood magic can be used to craft a tracking spell,” Frigga concludes, shutting the tome in her lap. “Are there any questions?”

You look up from your holotablet, where you’ve been taking notes and doodling along the way. You’re relaxed against a few of the myriad of pillows decorating the almost black-looking divan. There’s a thick chill in the air on this early winter morning, even with the warming spell that Frigga has placed on the room for the duration of winter. The cold makes itself at home in the room as the three of you finish up your last blood magic lesson. A large, warm blanket lays across your lap, stretched across the length of the divan to cover Loki as well. Loki’s legs are intertwined with yours at an angle, their weight warm and comforting.

You shake your head, shutting off the screen of your holotablet as you lay it in your lap. The lesson itself had been rather straightforward in how limited tracking spells with blood magic are, even if they’re the most accurate of any tracking spell branch. Item-essence tracking spells (tracking spells used on items owned by a person long enough that they’ve left an imprint on the item) are far more common for a reason, despite having a lower location accuracy and less reliability.

“I have a question,” Loki says, leaning forward and tossing her holotablet next to her legs. When Frigga looks over at her daughter, Loki says, “The Drekasál call it a soulmate spell, but that doesn't quite make sense when looking at it as a whole. So I wondered, is it actually a blood curse?”

You whip your head to your left to look at your friend, eyes widening at her question. A blood curse? Does Loki truly think that the soulmate spell might be a blood curse? On an entire species?

You can barely comprehend how many components a spell like that would need. You only know a fraction of what comes with the soulmate spell. The bits and pieces that you’ve seen or been told about. There are parts that you don’t know anything about, parts that you barely know anything about from the others who have brushed over them when speaking of their bond. The recent bonding of Lord Ivarr and Lady Tryggvadóttir has reminded you of how much you still have to learn before you come of age.

The true breadth and complexity that the soulmate spell might encapsulate begins to overwhelm you as you remember all that you know of it already. You feel a little light-headed the more you think about it.

Frigga is quiet as she rubs her thumb against the palm of her other hand. You know that gesture well. It’s a nervous, anxious gesture Frigga makes sometimes, one that Loki has picked up from her mother. Frigga is collecting the words necessary to answer Loki’s question. The sight of the gesture makes you uneasy because it means that Loki is on the right track. Loki has put together pieces you hadn’t thought of, hadn’t even seen until she pointed it out.

“The true origin of the soulmate spell is as shrouded today as it was the day it was cast. Both of you know this. Even I am in the dark about its truth,” Frigga confesses. You know that she has some capacity for clairvoyance, but it also doesn’t surprise you that the seiðkona doesn’t know the spell’s origin.

Whoever cast the spell, they cast it long before Frigga was born. The spell was studied intensely in the first decades after it was cast, and then practically discarded after a few centuries passed with no genuine answer as to its cause. Even with her ability, Frigga wouldn’t have been able to see who had cast it or why.

Frigga tilts her head, folding her hands in her lap as she casts her eyes towards her garden. “From what I know about the spell, it’s known that blood magic was a component of the larger spell that was cast. Whether that component was a blood curse or a blood spell is harder to determine.”

“What do you know about it?” you ask. “About its origin and how it works?”

“I know a little more about the spell’s origin than our scholars and archivists, and only because I understand seiðr and magic in a way most do not,” Frigga begins. She gets more comfortable on her divan by tucking her feet in and readjusting her blanket. It’s a signal to both of you that she expects this to be a longer discussion, and to get more comfortable if you’re not already.

You sit up, tucking your legs close so that they face away from Loki. You tuck the blanket around your shoulders, laying your hands across your lap beneath the blanket to keep them warm. Loki stretches her legs over the divan’s edge, legs tangled up in the blanket while she leans against you. Once the three of you are situated and comfortable, Frigga continues speaking.

“I’ve taught you that mixing the different branches of magic can be difficult, if not dangerous. Few branches mix well with others,” she says. Her words are measured and careful, emphasising a lesson that she’s repeated time and again over your training. Never mix magic branches unless you know they’re compatible, or risk the high probability of weaving together a hazardous spell. “We don’t know the origin of the spell, and we only have guesses on many of the components used to cast such a massive spell. But anyone well-trained in seiðr and magic can tell you this: the spell was cast combining blood magic and soul magic.”

An uneasy, almost fearful feeling skitters down your spine, raising the hairs on your neck and leaving goosebumps down your arms.

Blood and soul. Two branches of magic that mesh so well but whose mixtures can result in the most horrific of outcomes if done wrong. Your mind begs you to wonder if what happened to your people was an accident, or if it was the desired outcome. Both are possibilities, and both are equally chilling.

“Only Drekasál were affected by the spell. No other group was. Like they were the only ones the caster targeted,” Loki says softly. You can practically see her mind running the combinations and probabilities as she tries to shred apart the facts in her mind in search of the truth. “It affected all of them. Young and old, born and unborn, full-blooded dragon or not. Every Drekasál in Yggdrasil and beyond was affected. Even now, everyone with Drekasál blood is cursed.”

Cursed.

Before today, you’d never heard the word be applied to the spell that leaves your world in monochrome. It fits perfectly, though, for it to be called a curse instead of a spell. To be cursed is to be afflicted by something; monochromacy afflicts all Drekasál until they’ve reached maturity and touched the skin of their soulmate.

Your view of the universe shifts ever so slightly as you realise this. Even this slight shift is nothing short of violent and jarring. Your people — you yourself — were not simply bespelled accidentally by some ancient magic that was cast.

All of you were cursed.

( next chapter )

@ladydracona @huntress-artemiss @sarahscribbles @mischief2sarawr

Find the lore notes for this chapter here!

Join the taglist for this series (and other works) here!

[mythandlaur]

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet? | 18. Do you typically post multi-chapters as you write, or finish it all and then start posting? Would you like to change your posting method?

New Year's Fanfic Asks

18. Do you typically post multi-chapters as you write, or finish it all and then start posting? Would you like to change your posting method?

On the rare occasions I've tried to write things longer than (sometimes particularly long) oneshots, I've posted as I've written...and I've never managed to actually finish a single fic. This has led to many actually abandoned or "I'll get to it someday maybe"-abandoned WIPs out there and the guilt's decidedly starting to pile up, so yes, I would like to change it. The things I've been writing recently I've been trying to finish before I start posting...but I'm also having trouble finishing those so I'm not sure it's helping, exactly, it's just added the additional "I want to share this so bad" feeling on top of it. I'll get back to you on that when I do manage to finish something and post it all. Which leads to...

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

(Given you chose these two questions to send together I imagine you might've been expecting this answer, that or I just really want an excuse to talk about it. Which part of the whole reason I reblogged this in the first place was to have an excuse to talk about my stuff so thanks.)

There are several Shovel Knight oneshots I worked on more recently that I probably should feel more strongly about finishing sooner, but the one most urgent in my mind is the one you know about that I've been sitting on for over a year and wrote 8k words for in one day.

Front Lines [Code Lyoko] - An attempt to make up for a social misstep leads to disaster as Aelita and Jeremie find themselves on Lyoko with an activated tower and no one on Earth who knows they've gone. As pressure mounts, they decide to take matters into their own hands, but they're quickly running out of time--and not in the way they think they are...

Basically I have the whole thing planned and mostly written, but it's been so long since I started writing it and the draft's so messy I worry I should rewrite everything to meet my current standards. That and there's still a couple of fight scenes that need to get done and I have a really hard time writing those. Here's a bit I can share without really spoiling anything.

Aelita steps fully into the room, closing the door behind her. Jeremie raises an eyebrow and rolls his chair slightly closer to her—something about Lyoko, then?

Aelita’s face pinches with worry. “I’ve been thinking about what you said at lunch.”

Jeremie’s smile drops. He glances off to the side as if his closet doors have suddenly become interesting. “Yeah, what about it?”

Aelita frowns, taking a step towards him with her hands on her hips. He knows the look well.

“Would you really rather be possessed by XANA again than go to Lyoko?”

Jeremie winces, pulling both of his legs up to sit in an awkward-looking butterfly position on his office chair and grabbing at his feet. He still doesn’t look at her, but he can feel her eyes burning into his head.

“...No,” he admits, “I’m not that stupid. I can’t afford to be compromised like that again.” And he doesn’t particularly feel like going through it again, either.

When he finally manages to meet her eyes, her lips are pursed in an expression he can’t quite read. “Then why did you lie?”

Jeremie scowls. “You heard Odd, he wouldn’t leave me alone. Imagine how bad it’d be if he knew I was going.”

“So you have been going!”

Jeremie realizes he may have made a mistake in saying that, but he’d long since figured out lying to her is an exercise in futility no matter how experienced he gets at it. “Yeah, I’ve been going. Not for very long—I have the computer set to run devirtualization after one minute. If I could get away with not sending my data to Lyoko at all, I would, but...I haven’t figured out what causes the resistance to XANA’s influence yet, so I can’t take any chances.”

“And you haven’t told anyone?”

“They’d insist on coming with me or training me or something, and the last time the three of us went, three megatanks showed up. If they got devirtualized with me, that’d be another opportunity for XANA to attack while they were recovering.”

“And you’re embarrassed.”

Jeremie grabs his desk and turns his chair back towards it so she can’t see his face. “You heard them, I look ridiculous. I don’t want to make myself look like even more of an idiot.”

Aelita huffs, grabbing the back of Jeremie’s chair and spinning him around to look at her. She keeps hold of the chair arms to keep him from turning away again, glaring into his eyes with her jaw set.

“When’s the next time you plan on going?”

Jeremie swallows hard, his stomach dropping. It doesn’t take a genius to see where she’s going with this. “...Sometime this week. Aelita—”

“You’re right about one thing, I’m not letting you go alone.” Aelita leans away and crosses her arms. “We’re going. Both of us. Today.”

“And that’s definitely because you’re worried about me and not just curious about how dumb I look?” Aelita winces, and Jeremie realizes he's talked before thinking again. He'd been trying to work on that. “...Sorry.”

“It’s not not because I’m curious, I admit.” Her tone grows pained. “But I’m also worried. What if your devirtualization program doesn’t work? Or XANA’s monsters get to you first? I just don’t like the idea of you doing something like this all by yourself.”

“Aelita...”

Her voice softens, and though she smirks at him, her eyes are earnest. “You’ve always been protective of me. Now it’s my turn to worry about you.”

Jeremie feels his face heating up. Of course, she has every right to worry—the thought of doing this frankly still scares him half to death. It would be nice to have someone looking out for him...and besides, if he doesn’t do it now, he might very well put it off as long as he can get away with it. Potentially longer than he can get away with it.

“...And you promise you won’t laugh at me.”

Aelita puts a hand over her heart, solemn. “I promise.”

Jeremie sighs, rubbing his elbow with the opposite hand. “Okay. Clearly I’m not getting out of this.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Just give me a few minutes to get ready.” And get up the nerve.

[sitp-recs]

By the Grace by @letteredlettered

Harry/Draco (endgame), Harry/OMC, Draco/OMC (2020, Teen and Up, 140k)

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

“Everyone should get a chance to change.”

“In society,” Kavika said. “Not in your heart. You don’t have to learn to love Draco Malfoy, Harry. You don’t even have to accept the new person that he is.”

This rec has been sitting in my drafts for the longest time - I had made my peace with never posting it despite spending hours searching for a decent tree pic because I struggled so much trying to write something coherent and concise that could adequately convey just how important this story is to me. Eventually I accepted that I’d never make it justice and left it at that, until I finally interacted with Lettered for the first time this week and she mentioned that sometimes, like all of us, she also struggles with confidence. Reading that made me realize that nothing could ever be more “adequate” than just… putting my feelings out there. It doesn’t have to be perfect or particularly well-written, just real. It’s funny to realize that I’ve written so many recs at this point and yet the thought of being perceived still scares me to hell 🤡 so here’s my humble and tentative rec, self-aware and imperfect but coming from the deepest part of my heart. Special thanks to @tackytigerfic for being the best wingman and looking this over!

What to say, where to start? I haven’t felt as overwhelmed after finishing a fic since Far From The Tree and I’ve been trying to collect my thoughts about this all-encompassing fic into something (hopefully) coherent, concise and mildly adequate for months. I see now it’s impossible to find the right words but I never erased this draft and I really like that banner so here we go, inadequate, all-over-the-place kind of rec and all. BtG has changed me forever. I began reading it in early 2020 when the first chapter was published; it was the second WIP I decided to jump into after Bixgirl’s In the Dark and it was before I created the blog, which now feels like a lifetime ago. I don’t remember much besides being immediately intrigued by the unique tone and by Draco’s unusual voice, so completely different from anything I’ve read before or since, including other Lettered fics that I adore. Even through Harry’s skeptical, wary eyes, I found this aloof and earnest Draco absolutely captivating, pitiful and complex but fierce; a puzzle begging to be figured out not only by Harry, but by us, the readers. He was the first reason that made me fall in love with this fic.

The second was Harry’s journey (boy, do I love myself character-driven stories!). His introspective POV makes for such a powerful narrative voice, naturally biased and unreliable but incredibly compelling and relatable. His strength and vulnerabilities create a fascinating character who’s both inspiring and flawed, and therefore very real. It’s so wonderful to watch Draco develop over the years, both as a student and as a person, through his eyes - sometimes it feels like we’ll never grasp Draco’s true essence but that’s because we’re actually learning Harry through him, not the other way around. I found myself particularly invested in his side relationships: his commitment to teaching, the way he challenges his colleagues and superiors, the camaraderie and comfort he searches in Ron and Hermione, his achingly tender devotion to Teddy (who, by the way, is just as perfect in this fic as he’ll ever get), his growing generosity towards Draco despite not loving him back — yet.

This fic is a Drarry triumph and one of the most intimate, nuanced, sensitive and emotionally satisfying rides I’ve ever had the pleasure to experience in these 20 years of fandom. In my humble opinion this might be Lettered’s very best work - or at the very least the most challenging - among a collection of already excellent classics. The contemplative tone brings a subtle and original layer to these characters and a complex yet exciting political discussion that doesn’t take anything away from the character development, nor from the slow (and I mean, veeery slow) burn. As it should be, it takes years of therapy (and I cannot stress enough the importance given to therapy in this fic, it’s so refreshing to see!), growth and self-awareness to get to the romance. Long before being a love story, this is mostly a poignant and breathtaking tale of healing, understanding, hope and self-forgiveness. Here love is generous and resilient, and an active choice instead of something disorienting, ruining, inevitable. This love brings edification instead of tragedy, and self-forgiveness instead of redemption. It’s the love story of a lifetime, impossible to comprehend or recreate, and when you’re finished you finally realize that every little thing happened exactly the way it was supposed to be.

It took me over a year to put my thoughts into words that still don’t feel adequate or enough, but as I said before this is me trying to establish a new rapport with my reccing and this might as well be an exercise in embracing the feels and letting go of perfectionism. Dear Lettered, I know this fic was an immense challenge for you and it might not have happened the way you expected or envisioned at first. But please know that somewhere out there, at least one person still thinks daily about the line “Have I taught you, then, to want things for yourself?”, someone who found this story deeply cathartic, transformative and thought-provoking, someone who’s incredibly grateful that you decided to tell it and share with the rest of us. Thank you 💜

Read on AO3

[concerningwolves]

A Long-Overdue Writing Update

I know things have been quiet on the writing front lately. I crashed and burned in December (/had been crashing and burning in slow motion for several months beforehand), and I've decided to stop trying to scrape myself back together with the reasoning that my writing brain probably needs some time to simply be a splattered unproductive mess. I haven't even had the spoons to put my newsletter together.

Ultimately, all plans and tentative schedules here could be purely academic (hah), because I'm starting a Certificate of Higher Education on January 27th and that's probably going to gobble up most of the time I set aside for writing. Also, top surgery is now rather closer than on the horizon, and don't yet know what to expect in terms of recovery time. Regardless, here's how things are looking writing-wise as of today, 11th January 2024:

The Kindness of Ravens (Wyrdseren, book 2)

The Kindness of Ravens draft 3 is so so nearly finished. It's also probably what took me out in the first place, so it's currently sitting there, shelved mid-scene. The final climax is done, which leaves me with the aftercare resolution to write, and then I can say this draft is finished.

There is really very little left to do to the story itself. I've got all the events ordered as I want them, and I'm finally back to feeling enthusiastic about it. (Which is particularly nice considering that at one point I was seriously considering pulling the plug on the entire thing!). Yes, I did take on more of a challenge than necessary, but I do think it has paid off and I'm genuinely so excited to (eventually) bring the finished story to everyone. Still don't want to give anything concrete by way of a release date/schedule, though.

The Blood Enigma

TBE got beta-read back in June/July. It's in fairly solid shape, and I've got a firm plan of action in place for it. Granted, said plan is on hold right now and I didn't manage to get the book released in 2023 as I'd intended because Ravens takes priority, but I'm not beating myself up over that (<- said through gritted teeth). Once I finish the current draft of Ravens and give the beta reader feedback another look-over, I'll be able to come up with the time-frame for the rest of the work I need to do on it.

Falling Stars (series)

In more exciting news, once TBE is published, I'm going to start drafting the first book in my (*deep breath*) high fantasy zombie apocalypse environmental horror slow-burn polyamorous romance series (more streamlined pitch pending). I felt like I had more to learn about handling fantasy and series in general before I could tackle this one, and I think the story has really benefited from having time to gradually congeal while I worked on other things. I'm unbelievably hyped to start working on it properly.

Misc. Updates

I'm slowly chewing over two more potential WIPs: first, I've made a tentative plan for adapting my short story The Seal Daughter into a novella or novel set in the same world as The Blood Enigma, because there's definitely more I want to explore regarding transgender selkies and the idea of "seal children" as opposed to seal wives/seal husbands.

Secondly, I've recently been highly enamoured with trying my hand at a historical fantasy, (or at least pulling history into a fantasy setting), specifically one inspired by the Viking age and viking culture. Do I have a plot? Possibly. Or at least, I have a first chapter planned out and I know what the consequences of the events in said first chapter will be. Mostly though, I have vibes and sea monsters, which I think is a great pairing to bring with me into the new year.

[firstsprinces]

Thank you @anincompletelist for tagging me and OH. MY. FREAKING. GOD. BRIDESMAIDS AU TOMORROW. I AM NOT READY BUT I’M ALSO CANCELING ALL MY PLANS TO READ IT.

I had this saved as a draft for the past few days just in case I was tagged because I knew I’d be sat at my laptop struggling to get my NYE gift finished on time. The struggle is like a freight train that I’d much rather be under than riding on right now..

I’m holding off on sharing the big WIP that will be my first main work I’ll be ever be sharing. I’ve shared about 3K of it already and that’s not even the start. It’s coming up so soon and I’m so excited!

Here’s more of the lumberjack Alex smut AU!

It starts off as annoying, the rhythmic sound of heavy iron constantly hitting wood and then the splitting of it. Instead of the occasional woodpecker that’s been outside his window for the past two weeks, the little nuisance has been replaced by an even larger one - and, evidently, a far more attractive one if Henry could ever speak his thoughts out loud.

He learns of the cause of all the ruckus is in fact an extremely good looking man on the fourth day. It had finally been sunny and Henry’s been waiting to sit outside on the porch with his morning tea and sketchbook, lazily sketching the wooded area around him. He had wanted the complete serenity of the forest, but instead there’s a constant knocking sound that’s ripped away his peaceful atmosphere.

Leaving this tag as open, and as stated in my previous tag, I will go through every writer I follow to check out your posts!

I’ve got 7 hours to get this finished and then I can also celebrate 2024 with you all!

[pippin-katz]

Dragons Love Gold Teaser

Hi, I'm back again to say that yes, I am still working on the 10+ drafts I have of Merthur one shots, and a couple of them are getting close to being finished. However, it is impossible to estimate how long they are going to take, so I'm dropping a snippet of one of my WIP stories here for you guys to enjoy!

When the fic is finished, you'll be able to click here for the link.

Click the keep reading divider to read the excerpt below! I hope you enjoy it and feel free to share your thoughts/predictions! :3

Dragons Love Gold (Excerpt)

Summary: Merlin successfully rescued the dragon's egg from the Tomb of Ashkanar and brought it home to Camelot. Now he has to figure out the next steps of hatching and raising a baby dragon, while also keeping the egg's existence a secret from Arthur, who definitely notices his strange behavior.

He stood off to the side of the banquet room, dazed. He couldn't focus on anything. All he could think about was the egg waiting for him in his room, and the tiny dragon inside it. It felt like something was pulling at him. The way he was feeling somehow reminded him of his mother. She was always so worried, so focused on his needs rather than her own. Merlin noticed the similarities and wondered if he was developing maternal instincts for the egg.

Merlin drifted between the tables. His body moved on its own out of routine as he absentmindedly filled goblets. He was so zoned out that he nearly spilled the pitcher while pouring wine into Arthur's glass when he spoke. "What is wrong with you today, Merlin?" he asked, making him jump. He eyed him up and down, eyebrows furrowed in thought. "You've been acting weird since this morning. Well, weirder I guess."

"Sorry Sire, I think I'm just tired," he replied. He offered an unconvincing smile. The king scowled now, evidently not approving of his response. Merlin swallowed nervously under his scrutinizing gaze. "Would you like anything else?"

"I'd like if my servant was honest with me," Arthur said. Fear dropped like a stone in Merlin's stomach as he silently watched the king. He took a sip from his now filled goblet. He looked annoyed and suspicious as he set it back down, glaring slightly. "Because he's definitely lying, and I expect him to tell the truth if he doesn't want to be given double chores tomorrow."

Merlin swore in his mind. As much of a dollophead Arthur could be, he wasn't as oblivious as he seemed. He could always see through him when he was upset or troubled. Just tell fragments of the truth, he thought to himself. Then you won't be lying, and he won't pick up on it.

"Sorry, I have a lot things on my mind tonight," Merlin said honestly. "Gaius and I were trying to find some information this afternoon. We were scouring through books for hours, and I honestly feel like my brain is going to explode with the amount of information."

Every part of his statement was true. He held Arthur's gaze, firmly standing his ground. He had no reason to hide; he hadn't lied. The king inspected his face some more as he took another sip from his goblet. His piercing eyes stared at him over the rim of the cup. Merlin was honestly starting to turn red for entirely different reason because of the intensity of how Arthur was staring at him. He willed the warmth that had filled his cheeks away, hoping it wasn't noticeable to the man sitting in front of him.

"That doesn't surprise me considering how small your brain is," Arthur finally replied, returning the goblet to the table.

Merlin rolled his eyes, but his shoulders relaxed. He didn't bother with a retort. He was too tired, and he wanted this feast to be over so he could return to the egg. Flashing an offended frown and huffing, he turned and returned to his work.

The rest of the meal passed by in a blurry haze as he made his rounds. Merlin had to hold back his elation when Arthur announced he was going to retire for the evening. He handed off his pitcher to another servant and followed closely on his king's heels as he strode out of the room.

Once within his chambers, Arthur motioned for Merlin to help him prepare for bed. He tried not to show his impatience as he helped him out of his armor, chainmail, and fine clothes. The king then disappeared behind the changing screen to remove his breeches and tunic. Merlin retrieved night clothes and hung them over the top for Arthur to put on. He bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for him to reemerge, heart beating a bit quicker with the anticipation of returning to the egg.

The sky he saw through the window was already dark. All he needed was Arthur to dismiss him for night; then he could get the egg, and take it with him to call Kilgharrah. Merlin zoned out, staring at the abyss that coated the city. Stars were beginning to poke their way through. The way they sparkled reminded him of the egg's exterior.

"Could you put out the candles, Merlin?" Arthur said, though the manservant was too much in thought to hear. "Merlin!"

The increase in volume and sharpness of his voice broke him from his trance. He whipped his head toward him, freezing as he tried to think of what he had said. The king stared at him expectantly, but Merlin's mind was blank, too full of plans for the egg to register what he'd been told. "Sorry, what?" he asked, smiling bashfully in a way he hoped as charming.

"Gods, your name suits you. You have the attention span of a bird," he said exasperatedly. He spun around and tossed himself onto his bed. "I said could you put out the candles? Honestly, do it quickly, you seem to desperately need sleep or something. You're even more annoyingly absentminded than usual."

Merlin didn't need to be told twice; well, told three times he supposed. He hurried his way around the room, blowing out all the candles. He managed to bump into the table with a muffled curse. A snort came from the bed where Arthur was laying, but the manservant stubbornly ignored it as he left the room. The door shut behind him a little too quickly for it to be considered normal, but Merlin frankly did not care.

He hurried down the castle corridors. He moved as fast as he could without breaking into a run. Gaius was awake when he got back, but he was in his nightgown and preparing for bed. The old man looked at him expectantly. "I know you're going to talk to the Great Dragon this evening about the egg, so be careful," he told him with a nod.

"Yeah, I always am," Merlin rushed out as he walked past him to his room.

There was doubtful grumbling from the physician that he couldn't make out. He tuned it out as closed his bedroom door behind him. The egg sat where he left it, glistening from the moonlight beginning to shine through his window. Merlin sighed happily as he moved forward. He slid down to his knees to be eye level with the egg, reaching out to put his hands on its sides. The familiar feeling of warmth flowed from the shell to his hand.

Merlin slowly stood up and scooped the egg into his arms, cradling against his chest. He felt his heartbeat match against the faint one beating within the egg.

"I can't wait to meet you," he whispered to it.

[drysaladandketchup]

Writing Meme

Tagged by my dear @irrelevanttous <3

RULES: go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason

first fic you ever published on Ao3: Spirit of Champions, for the Supernatural/Destiel fandom. I don't even know why I'm linking the fic, it was ten years ago I'd like to think my writing has improved a lot since then so... maybe don't read it lol. I actually have another fic that says it was posted on the same date but I think that's because I moved them both over from livejournal at the same time, so whatever

last fic you published: Acts of Devotion for the Hockey/Mattdrai fandom. Much prouder of this fic haha, though I was still getting a feel for hockey and these guys during it's construction. It hopefully won't be my last mattdrai fic though. Got a few ideas and WIPs sitting in my drafts

a fic you wrote for a fandom/ship only once: I don't think I've ever written just one fic for a fandom. Though I certainly have many abandoned WIP's and a few unpublished fics from days gone by. Also due to a lack of ideas or energy, I often end up publishing nothing for a fandom, despite my love for it. But I'll go with the fandom I only published two fics for. After Life's Fitful Fever, He Sleeps Well for The Terror. It's actually a platonic ship (if that counts? Depends on your definition of 'ship' I suppose), but it's still one I'm quite fond of overall

favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship with the most works: well I already mentioned Supernatural, so that would be the obvious answer lol. But I already did that, so I'm going to go with a fic from the next biggest fandom I've published for. Which I would say is String Theory for Final Fantasy XV. The only FF game I've ever played, but I had a grand old time, made a lot of friends and had a lot of growth in that community

fic you wish more people read: Can I say any of my fics from the Dunkirk fandom? No? Boo. It's a tiny fandom so I don't expect a tonne of interaction haha. But it is the fandom I've written the most for. Ideas just kept on coming (probably because I love history and angst). So I'd say... Where You Were, Where You're Needed. My first for the fandom, and one I still love dearly

fic you agonized over the most: Skybound, for Dunkirk. It's the only novel-length fic I've written, and it took me two years. I also didn't publish it until it was completely finished, edited, re-drafted, and remodelled within an inch of it's life so... yeah that one. Plus all the history research and story planning that went into it was a lot more than I usually do. It was fun, I'm glad I finished it, but fuck I don't know how people write novels regularly. Stephen King tell me your secret

fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort: For The Glory, for the Hockey/Mattdrai fandom. Maybe the fastest I've written anything. Basically wrote it from start to finish within a couple hours, not including food and sleep. Not a monumental fic, no, but for someone with chronic fatigue and adhd... astounding. It was very much a result of conversations with M. and her determination to drag me into hockey and mattdrai. Successfully, clearly haha

work you are proud of: I'm going to say Skybound again. Small fandom, but a huge fic for me. One I could probably turn into an original piece with minimal finagling if I wanted. I would also like to think one could enjoy the fic without having seen Dunkirk. That being said, now that it's been over a year a half since I finished it, I'm already looking at it thinking 'I could have written this differently. I could have removed this or tweaked that.' Editor hell. But I'm leaving it as is, using it as a benchmark for my (hopefully) continued improvement as a writer. I think I improved over the course of writing it, even. A lot changed from inception to publication. But I'm no less proud of it, as a written work or as a story. I did what I wanted, and I wrote the exact story I wanted to read. So I'm happy :)

Thank you for the tag, M.! <3

[goose-books]

i read your wips intro/masterpost, they all look super cool (!!!) but the status sections look like they haven’t been updated in awhile—any updates?

first of all, THANK YOU!!! means a lot whenever anyone checks out my posts! i have a tendency to forget this blog exists, which i can only blame partially on my being in school; i'm part of a thriving community of writing discord servers, and so i've gotten into the habit of sharing more writing there than here. also, from the bottom of my heart, i never have any idea what to post. so thank you x2 for asking for an update, because i can certainly do that!

in the order of the intro post, shall we? (which i have now updated, because it was bothering me.)

The Mortal Realm & Quark: "starting second draft summer 2021," he said (about the first). so that was a fucking lie. summer 2021 i spent working at a children's summer camp, which, while i love kids, sapped my sickly-victorian-boy strength like tuberculosis. and then i went off to college! so quark didn't happen in the fall, either.

both of these are on indefinite hiatus for now, but not shelved! as my oldest long-running projects and the ones that saw me through some specific parts of my life, they're very important to me, and i think about the characters and plots frequently. that said, i've grown a lot since i began each one, so some of my old plans no longer align with the sort of things i like to write now... both are probably due for a rehaul, and as i'm focused on other projects atm, i'm not sure when that will be! but they idle in the back of my brain like screensavers.

A Modern Tragedy: the scripts for AMT are entirely finished! (barring the intermission episode i never wrote, i suppose.) i wrote the last words and immediately encountered some issues, namely: i know how to write, but not how to record and produce a podcast. plus, a podcast-enjoying friend of mine who read the scripts pointed out that honestly, AMT has too many characters to work as an audio drama; i have written a TV show in audio form. and speaking of things i know how to do less than producing a podcast--producing a TV show. so at present i sort of just... have this. sitting on my computer. i've half a mind to just post the scripts on this blog; if you're interested in seeing them... you can certainly shoot me a dm.

darkling: this behemoth is fully drafted, goddamn it, and i did do a round of beta readers over summer 2021. that said, this thing scares me. i am far better at drafting than i am at editing, and approaching a 200,000 word book (yes. i know. i know) to rip the seams out and kick that word count into shape intimidates me. i think perhaps we should all be very mean to me until i acquiesce to sniffing the draft through the bathroom door (??? <- will being mean to me work? unclear)

Valentine van Velt is Dead: oh now this is ridiculous; have i really not updated the intro post in over a year? i suppose not. valentine van velt is out! i posted the book in full in google doc, pdf, and epub forms; you can read it right now today!

love, h: finally something on the intro post is true. this is still in brainstorming mode, less because i haven't figured it out and more because i need to enter another intense hamlet phase to be able to write it properly. it'll happen.

godsong: ah, and we approach the reason the rest of these projects haven't gotten done. my silly little lesbian aeneid is eating my brain. in the past year and a half, i have 1. plotted an entire trilogy 2. written a book and a half 3. spiraled into related AUs for literally over a hundred words. the problem with writing a project that combines multiple hyperfixations is that it will crawl into your brainstem and never ever ever ever leave you alone. ever.

...which is to say that i've written a godsong! i've completed a first draft of the first book and i'm currently drafting the second; i've learned that editing scares me and bogs me down, so i'm riding this hyperfocus as far as it'll take me before i do a beta-reading round. this may come as a shock, because i've posted very little about godsong compared to my other projects, and again, this is because i have no idea what to post. every now and then i get frightened about posting real excerpts, in case it somehow fucks me up copyright-wise. this is a largely irrational fear that i have anyhow. i'm dicking around trying to make character moodboards for intro posts, but i keep running into the moral quandary of whether i can knowingly use unsourced pinterest images, like, morally. unrelated, yeah i do have OCD, how did you know?

thank you for asking after my projects, anon! ^_^ this was a very nice ask to receive and it reminds me i really ought to post here more often... if i ever scrounge up enough pictures from fucking unsplash, we'll see about those intros. if anyone has questions, opinions, or suggestions for future maxblog activities, feel free to shoot me an ask!

[mary-is-writing]

An update about The Monsters Only We See

+ my future writing

Things have happened in the last couple of days and I have some news for you. They're not bad news, but relevant ones. It's about the near future of both my current project TMOWS and my future project that I'll announce soon. This is a long one, so I'll put it under a read more.

TMOWS taglist +/-: @gabelish @mel-writes-with-her-dragons

(hey sorry I don't use the taglist a lot 😬 I'll try to use it more and it's still open for anyone who wants to get added)

Things have happened and decisions have been made so sit with me for a second.

As you may know if you follow me, one of my goals for this year was that I wanted to publish The Monsters Only Wee See. I finished the final version of it around April or May (and the English translation not too long ago) and since then I wanted to get the register for copyright, ISBN and self publish of it done before this year ended. I thought I could do it in a few months at max, but then irl stuff just kept happening to me and I had to kept pushing back starting the process. Recently tho, I finally did and I got the first step done: get a special signature required for the registration. However, an unexpected turn of events occurred.

While reading about the process of it in order to know what to do next, something very troublesome caught my attention: the process could be started online, but has to be finished in person in the offices of the copyright organization for my country. This is all reasonable, of course you'd want to do an in-person procedure when it comes to giving the rights of a thing to someone. That isn't the problematic part.

The problem is that the offices are only in the capital of the country. Only there. ONLY there.

There's not like, a building per state and then HQ is in the capital like I imagined, no. Only there they are. And the capital is very, very far away from where I live. Going there by bus in NOT an option, and the plane can be expensive. I have to double check to make sure there's absolutely no option to do the procedure online, and talking to a parent about this situation, I've come to a decision.

The Monsters Only Wee See will not be published this year.

Tbh, this sucks. I really wanted to get this out by this year, but it's simply not realistic. Next year there will probably come a time where I have to move for a period of time near the capital, and then going back and forth in order to do the registration will be easier, so it'll have to wait till then. It sucks that I have to keep pushing back this project's end, but I also wanna do right by it, by getting the copyright and the ISBN and publish it properly. And who knows, maybe by then I'll be working so I'd have money to pay an actual book cover artist for the cover!! Silver linings, y'all.

So. What now? Well, since I thought I'd publish it during this year, I've also been pushing back introducing my next wip, the one I'll work in now alongside WCB. I did so as a way to keep my ADHD from ADHD-ing so I could focus on getting TMOWS out first and then working on the next one. However, since TMOWS is not gonna come out any time soon...I can now put it in the back burner and work on the next one! So that's what I'll do!!

Thus I'll be introducing a new wip sometime soon. I have to get the final details ready (like a mood board lol) in order to do a proper wip intro, but you'll be seeing it sooner than later. This also means I'll start writing the first draft for it that, technically, I've already started, but I can't decide on the hook so I've haven't done any progress at all.

So the posts about my wips will look something like this from now on:

TMOWS - Updates about the progress in the registration process.

WCB - Little excerpts and/or posts about the writing of Book 2.

New wip - Intro post for the wip and the characters, and little excerpts and/or posts about writing the first draft.

That's all I wanted to say, just an explanation of why TMOWS won't come out this year, why I'm putting it on hold for now and some preparation for the new wip. Thank you if you read until the end, and we'll see again soon.

Stay safe, stay healthy and happy writing!!

[gezellig-writes]

I posted 352 times in 2022

That's 65 more posts than 2021!

4 posts created (1%)

348 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@renegadepack

@howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen

@musingsofvenus

@the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis

@theclearwaters

I tagged 180 of my posts in 2022

Only 49% of my posts had no tags

#bella swan - 29 posts

#jacob black - 27 posts

#leah clearwater - 21 posts

#twilight vibes - 9 posts

#charlie swan - 8 posts

#billy black - 8 posts

#paul lahote - 6 posts

#the pack - 5 posts

#edward cullen - 5 posts

#sam uley - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#but also that the increased cell replication and repair that is their enhanced healing could also leave them vulnerable to other things

My Top Posts in 2022:

#4

🌹

Now though, with the rumors of giant wolves in the woods going strong for months and only confirmed by the events of the morning, their hand had been played.

for every "🌹" received in my inbox I'll post one random sentence of a random WIP I'm currently writing

1 note - Posted October 25, 2022

#3

This has been sitting in my drafts for ages, and I finally got around to finishing it. Many, many, many thanks to @forksgothic for being a phenomenal beta-reader/editor

Basically a continuation of my not-quite a rewrite/extra to canon of twilight where the pack isn't essentially on their own, but loved and supported by their parents and the elders of La Push. Wherein Billy has a somewhat difficult conversation with his younger sister about his nephew Colin

2 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

#2

I want to dump all the characters in your ask box (I may do this anyway), but I’ll settle for Embry Call 👁👄👁

Oh go ahead and dump everyone lol. But, on to my best boy, Embry

Do I like them: Absolutely. I've always been most interested in the pack and their dynamics (like the rest of tumblr), but I was really drawn initially to the friendship between embry/quil/jacob, or what little of it we saw in the series

5 Good Qualities: (a lot of this is coming from those genius lists @blackpack did on little known tidbits from the books)

He's very observant, being the one to bring up to Jacob that Sam meets with the tribal council, among other things

He's quite loyal to his friends and family

and his mom- he's very aware of the gossip about her when she first moved to town, and what still lingers to some extent. I could go more into how I see their relationship, but for a good while, they were all the other had, and having to keep the secret from her really hurt

I also see him as quite smart, wanting to go to college to study history and/or folklore and is the one that fights the hardest against the pack having to drop out of school or whatever they end up doing

He's quite easygoing and doesn't seem to hold a grudge for long if at all

He puts up with Quil and Jacob and their shenanigans

3 Bad Qualities: (tbh this took a lot longer than I thought)

honestly, the fact he stayed with Sam's pack as long as he did- for as long as he and Jake have been friends I'm surprised it took him until after Bella had the baby to leave

he never tells his mom?? I am drifting far into my own headcanon territory, but if they're close, he should have let her know what was going on and that he's not in some rebellious phase- he had the okay from Sam to do so. Even if she isn't Quileute she does have the right to know at least some of what's going on

he makes too many bets for his own good- where is this money coming from??

Favorite Episode/Moment: This scene from Eclipse

Otp: Quil/Embry for sure because a) I’m a sucker for friends to lovers, but b) it’s a great replacement for the claire imprint situation which has always squicked me out

Brotp: Embry/Quil/Jacob obviously

Ot3: I don’t know if I have an OT3 for Embry? Maybe Embry/Quil/Jacob, if I was forced to choose, but it still doesn't feel right

notp: I'm not particularly fond of Embry/Bella, but really don't like Embry/any vampire-though I don't even know if those fics exist (like I know Rosalie/Leah exists and I’m baffled by it)

best quote: I had to flip through New Moon, and I had totally forgotten about this gem-

"Well, the wolf's out of the bag now." Embry sighed. "Way to go, Jake." (New Moon, pg 328, Family)

headcanon: he's a fancy dancer and has been going on the powwow trail with his mom quite literally his entire life (Tiffany is a somewhat well known fancy shawl dancer) and the entire pack+ adjacent crew saved up for ages and surprised him with new regalia after he grew out of his old set post-growth spurt

6 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

If you haven’t done so, please do yourself a favor and read @theclearwaters Between Who You Are and Who You Could Be

18 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

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