#financial advice package

[brisingr-sword]

does anyone know if scholarships are counted as separate from financial aid in terms of EFC? like if i get my financial aid package but like $10k in scholarships would my financial aid package be $10k smaller than if i hadn’t gotten the scholarships? 

[maplebellsmods]

What is this mod?

The Standardized Test Mod opens up a lot of new interactions for your teens to delve more into their academics. Prepare your Sims for success as they gear up to take various tests, and measure their proficiency.

Features 

Sign up for Exam 

The SAK exam is exclusively for teenagers and aims to mirror a slice of high schoolers' lives. Standardized Exams are a significant aspect of student life, and I wanted to incorporate a bit of that into the game. Sims has various steps to get ready for the exam, but there are certain registration periods to follow. Additionally, students can acquire a SAK late registration ticket, albeit at a higher cost. 

Regular Registration  - from Sunday to Tuesday $150

Late Registration - Wednesday to Friday $190

(Exams are on Saturday)

Meet With Guidance Counsellor 

If your Sims face financial difficulties and can't afford a ticket, they can meet the guidance counselor to see if they're eligible for a fee waiver. If eligible, they can sign up using the regular option at no additional cost. However, if they're buying a late ticket, they'll have to pay the late fee.

Buy Test Prep 

Your Sim also has the option to purchase test prep books, which significantly aid in achieving higher scores. However, they're quite expensive. If your Sim has the means, it's highly recommended to invest in these prep books. They're a great way to enhance your score.

Use Free Online Tools 

If your sim cannot afford to pay for the books it's okay! They can also use the free online tools at their disposal. The free online tools though are less useful in helping your sim achieve a really high score. They still can, but you really need to invest your time in them.

Hire Tutor 

Your Sim can also hire a tutor, but it will come at a cost with varying fees. Tutors can provide valuable advice and guide your Sim through the studying process. They can either come over or meet at a designated location (rabbit hole). You can also hire as many tutors as you would like. 

Exam

When your Sims are ready for the exam, they can attend on a Saturday at 7 a.m. Make sure they're on time as the doors close at 8 a.m. The exam will last for 6 hours, and Sims will be dismissed afterward. Results will be released 24 hours later. Sims who get a really high score are usually admitted into university faster!

Scoring Structure  

The exam is scored out of 300 points, and Sims can improve their score by enhancing their logic and writing skills. Besides that, they should practice as much as possible. The more they practice and utilize the available tools, the higher their score will be.

You need:

XML Injector

BG Compatible

How to install the mod?

Electronic Arts/The Sims 4/Mods <--- Place the package here

Download Here

Public Nov 18th

[saharaadesertt]

˖˚˳⊹Blue Lock University: an Uni AU˖˚˳⊹

included: aiku, chigiri, gagamaru, kaiser, isagi, nagi, reo, rin, sae, shindou

note: already thinking about uni even though i still have two months LMFAOOO i am catching up on bllk and i finally made it to the different team battles. idk y'all manshine city kinda slaps all of these HC's are not official! check out part 2!

aiku

oh god, this guy gives off business major energy

most definitely in a frat, you can't prove me wrong

the kind of student that slacks off and parties all night but manages to do decent on exams and in class

not stellar but decent

insanely popular, gets all the girls but doesn't know how to keep them

the class clown

professors hate him so much but he does well enough where they can't lecture him

chigiri

Sports medicine major: wants to help people the way doctors helped him when he tore his acl

also oversees track and xc meets because of his speed

can be spotted at the cafe studying most of the time

likes to spend time to himself but doesn't mind seeing friends once in a while

but when he has a deadline he will focus on that 1000%

Everyone likes him, he gets good grades and is always very good with finishing things on time

His sister and mom visit him often, a family boy!

loves when people compliment his hair

gagamaru

Agricultural science or archeology major: mans is in the mountains constantly

probably does research there

a little bit of an oddball, mostly on the quiet end in class

that being said, he's an underdog in his class rank and always performs suspiciously well

people are scared of him because of his stoic aura but is a genuinely good person to get advice from and study with

if you get past his quirks, he's a great friend and an ever better person to depend on when you need it

kaiser

please hear me out

at first i thought "another business major but THEN"

i realized he could also be a really self-centered, full of himself STEM major

so i am going to say he is in computer science and thinks he is the true pioneer

honestly, the person that people complain about after class

tryhard and complains about getting a B on something

that being said, if you get on his good side, he is slightly more kind to you

isagi

kind of the same as kaiser but a psychology major, more popular, and much nicer lol

likes to study athletes and wonder if their personalities line up with how they play

a hard worker and studier, his weekends are rarely for rest

likes to go out though, he takes comfort in small things like visiting friends and grocery shopping

believe a healthy body is consistent with a healthy mind so is constantly health-conscious and drinks a ton of water

his parents send him care packages occasionally :))

nagi

this guy is undecided for now major-wise but will probably do something in video game development or digital communication

possibly cybersecurity if he actually wants to put in the work

lazy as hell but we knew this

constantly skips or sleeps in class but manages to do well

reo has to wake him up or call him if he has an early class he cannot miss or an exam or else nagi would legit miss it

isn't seen out much but when he is, he's with reo

fond of arcades, hoodies, and sweatpants

president of the gaming club and is surprisingly popular because of his gaming abilities

i believe him and reo share an apartment that the mikages help with financially because at this point nagi is like a second son to them <3

reo

another business major, this time marketing

president of the uni's business frat for sure

the definition of star student

everyone loves him but he only hold a few close to him because he knows a lot of people gravitate to him for his money

despite his family line, he is the most humble person you'll ever meet

super polite and respectful

he and nagi live in a shared apartment and only a select few friends get to come over

but when they do, reo shows them the best hospitality and above all, they actually study since he is a man of his word

rin

Definitely doing something in sports administration

the tryhard that is usually quiet, but piss him off and he WILL let you know

part of the school's podcast and newspaper club, where he works on reporting sports and talking to athletes

hates to be compared to his brother who is in the same major as him

gets jealous easily and finds it hard to keep a relationship because of this

communication is key for him in all aspects

sae

also sports adminstration

quieter than his brother but also has more attitude

enjoys being alone no matter where on campus he is in

but also popular

an ace student

is a part of a soccer travel team so is away a lot

drinks venti cold brews

shindou

biology... i don't need to explain LMFAOOOO

is VERY interested in all that stuff

actually a good student but is a class clown

doesn't take work seriously but does well enough

befriends everyone although he is a little unhinged

no filter at all

loves sugary coffee and staying up until the sun rises

would be part of the improv team bc he has a quick mouth and is quick thinking

thanks for reading!

[storkmuffin]

turned on an astrology podcast as background noise. the format is that people write in and the astrologer gives them advice on their problem. and zomg there's a girl asking for a reading who is ... uh...

her now fiance is a man who has never worked consistently, has lived off of her working three jobs the entire time they've been together, that she hasn't wanted to fuck for long periods of their cohabitation (please girl, please please listen to your body, your body doesn't want him to touch you), and now wants to pimp her out to onlyfans but packaging pushing her into prostitution as "lifting financial burdens so she can enjoy him as he is" and "letting go of resentment."

the extent to which people are recognizable archetypes across culture and time is really horrifying. a man who takes money from a woman, pushing her into prostitution so he can live off of her selling her body - this is a type of abusive relationship that has always existed. it's not to do with late stage capitalism or whatever. this type of exploitative man who uses up a woman with a sense that somehow she 'needs' him is as common as a man who kills a woman he used to fuck and beat up.

i'm on the edge of my seat right now, desperately hoping that this astrologer is able to talk this woman out of this relationship with this freeloading monster of a man who now wants to sell his lover's body. the astrologer is being so gentle, so delicate, trying not to spook this (sorry to say this but, very weak, very stupid, very very damaged) woman, making the conversation safe and friendly and full of laughter, as a means to a greater end. couldn't be me, but i'm so thankful this woowoo astrologer actually provided a little window for this woman.

[thewiz9062]

Smiling Critters AU: Familial Relationships & Friendship Status Headcanons

NOTE: THIS IS NOT RELATED TO CANON IN THE SLIGHTEST. An accurate description of this au is that I took every playtime.co poster art and promotional material from the game and lit up the rest of canon in a bonfire. That means EVERY character is part of one big cartoon. That's it. No bigger bodies project, no child souls, no experiments, just a depiction of a cartoon. PLEASE do not ask me to do anything suggestive with anyone.

OK I'm jumping straight under the cut, these are pretty long so be warned

Bubba's relationship with his parents is pretty good. The only reason I say "pretty" is because he feels like they "undermine his intelligence." In reality, he just wants to help them. In his younger years, he accessed the internet pretty easily and used context clues to figure out that with all the factors of an adult life, they weren't doing so well financially. But he saw a solution: a lot of people who have easy lives have a good education. So, he got to work, teaching himself anything and everything. He even (somewhat legally) got multiple jobs, ranging from tutoring to coding and other similar occupations. He hid these from his parents for a suprise. (This is when he was about 8, but my timeline is weird rn) anyways, he in total made a LOT more money than any child should have. Eventually, he told his parents and told them about his entire plan to help them. They exchanged a few words between each other and turned back to Bubba. They told him that they were very proud of him, but he shouldn't have to worry about things like that at his age. He understood because he knows that a lot of kids his age don't know a quarter of the stuff he does, but he also felt betrayed. As if they think he doesn't really know anything. In reality, they just want him to be able to live a life without their own issues, dragging him down. But they still are a happy family. There are just a few misunderstandings. Moving on, he still kept those jobs to the present day, meaning he's (for lack of a better term) loaded. In terms of the friend group, he is the one to give out life advice and such. He also funds their more expensive outings. If bobby is the "mom friend," Bubba is the "dad friend." Speaking of which, Bobby is his closest friend outside of Kickin. They both care for their friends and family, even though they do in different ways. He's still in good light with everyone else, though.

Kickin has fairly normal parents. They were a bit concerned with his behavior shift, but after meeting Bubba and his family, they were able to see him truly happy again. They care about him, like parents do. In regards to the friend group, Bubba and him are attached at the hip. If you were to invite one, you'd get the other. Package deal. This made and broke a lot of parties or outings with their peers, but with the critters they're both welcome anytime. Outside of Bubba, Hoppy is his closest friend, Dogday coming at a close second.

Hoppy's parents are her biggest inspiration. Athletes, just like she wants to be. They're pretty chill with each other, and they support her dreams. With the friend group, kickin is her best friend, but bobby is cool to her as well.

Crafty's parents are total assholes. I've gone over her parents before, but to give a brief summary, crafty wants to be an artist because she genuinely enjoys it, but her mother wants her to follow in her footsteps and be a model, simply because their rarity as unicorns. Her father knows, but doesn't care what she does either way. He's off defending people in court most of the time, and it was an arranged marriage anyway, just to keep the line going. (Not incredibly proud of this one, but it'll do). Whenever she wants to hang out with the friend group, she usually appears in far too expensive clothes for the activity, but Bobby's usually prepared and brings some clothing that Crafty feels comfortable in. She's closest to Dogday, him being the one to help her make friends in the first place and give her the motivation needed to be proud of her art.

Bobby's parental situation is bittersweet. She's the only critter with siblings, and regularly has to watch them because she has a working father, and her mother divorced him and didn't get custody. She is understanding and is more than happy to help, much to her father's regret, him having wanted her to have a normal childhood. (See why her and Bubba get along?) This led to her being essentially their mother. She wasn't exactly alone in this, as Picky Piggy was a huge help in some departments. Eventually, her father started earning enough to pay for a babysitter, allowing Bobby to be normal. But old habits are hard to shake. In the friend group, she is undeniably the mom friend. Other than picky (which she knew before joining the critters), Bubba is who she's closest to, for sharing the same goals: to help. Dogday makes ideas and plans, but bobby and Bubba make sure they go flawlessly.

Picky is also pretty normal. She has parents that support her culinary arts and had a few friends before joining the critters, including Bobby. Her knowing bobby immediately places her as Picky's closest friend, but she's fairly indiscriminate to everyone.

Another one I've gone over before: Catnap lost his parents at 4 (cause of bye-bye still pending and I honestly need help) and has lived on his own ever since. He's not COMPLETELY parentless, though, even though he'd never admit it. Although he never shows it like ever, he appreciates boxy boo just stopping by to check on him. In terms of friends, he's not actually an official member yet, but Dogday, Bobby, and Picky know him. Bubba and Kickin know of his existence because Dogday muttered his name when planning their sleepover but have yet to meet him. Dogday is his best friend, and wants to help him see that although it's great to be happy, he's still human (ik ik he isnt but yk what I mean) and is allowed to see things in a negative light sometimes.

Dogday was abandoned by his parents shortly after he was born, and was put in an orphanage and has lived there since. Just like catnap, however, he's not totally fatherless. One time, during one of the rare outings when one of their caretakers would take them to the local park dogday and wanted a balloon but didn't have a quarter to pay. Luckily for him, someone came and bought one for him. That someone was Huggy Wuggy. They became acquainted after Dogday thanked him, and anytime dogday visits the park, they sit on a bench and talk about things. (He also learned that Huggy gives the greatest hugs and now he won't leave without one everytime he has to go.) In terms of the friend group, he was the one that brought most of them together and along with being generally likeable he's in great standing with all of them. Though, hides the fact that he lives in an orphanage, thinking that they would treat him differently. When he met Catnap, however, they bonded over their lack of biological parents, and they became best friends. Dogday, even though he barely knows more than Catnap, wants to teach him how to make the best out of situations, even when times are bad.

------

Edit: tumblr try not to post my drafts challenge go- failed

[bitchesgetriches]

bitches, i come to you humbly to inform you that my boss let me know the company’s financial strain and my short tenure (less than a year) would make me potentially ineligible for a raise. unfortunately, i dont care. our insurance package has gone up exponentially and nothing has been said about rectifying this, especially to employees recently hired under the guise of a fully funded insurance plan only to no longer be fully funded 4 months later. I screwed myself by choking and not asking for the maximum rate at the interview. am i greedy and ignorant to this recession? do you have any advice?

NO. You are not greedy and ignorant. In fact, it sounds like you were hired under false pretenses and now you're being discriminated against when it comes to raises because of your tenure.

The company's financial health is not your problem. They've made it clear they prioritize their own financial strain over your employee well-being, so take their lead and prioritize yourself.

You need to get yours, honey. Time to dust off the resume and search for something better. You're worth it. I promise you.

{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Getting a Job, Raise, or Promotion

If you liked this article, join our Patreon!

[all-hallows-street]

Guess whose financial mistake arrived early...

I will give more in depth looks later (I have to work to afford such questionable purchases), but a quick individual review of what I got:

Neil Demon Plushy

Not a plush toys collector at all; my closest reference is the IKEA shark. He is heavier than he looks, very sturdy (?) if that makes sense. Doesn't seem like he will deform any time soon. The details are adorable and I don't see any glaring defects.

All Saints Street Hoodie

Surprisingly large for me. I was worried they only had one size made for the Chinese market. I'm 1.7m (5 foot 7) tall for reference and this is still a bit too big for me. Will likely get too small for anyone over 6 feet tall. The quality is good! Very soft. Velvet interior. I don't know much about shirt stamping, but since it's not in the fabric I'm guessing the stamp might start to crack after multiple washes.

All Saints Street Vol. 1-3 Collection

Now this is something I can talk about more. The sleeve was unfortunately damaged in shipping and the books have very minor damage in the spine and vol 2 has a minor case of dog ears. The quality of the paper is great! It is color paper, not glossy one you see in comic book issues, but it's thicker than the black and white you see in manga. Would still make sure to have a dehumidifier if your storing place is not dry. I've already experienced book wrapping and it's painful.

Each volume contains around 80 chapters with one extra chapter not on bilibili. They also contain a message from Lingzi and WSJ's editor, plus all character bios even for ones we never got one (Enrique, Eduardo ans Anthony). And if a Weibo post is correct some might have been updated from the ones online (Axel grew 1 cm in the book bio).

Of course later I'll look over everything to see if there are any significan changes to make a note of. Also it came with this lol.

I have the Alice in Wonderland art somewhere, I'll post it later as well.

All Saints Street Anniversary Playing Cards

The playing card decks from the 6th and the 7th anniversary. As you can see I haven't opened the 7th, but I got the 6th a while ago on AliExpress so I expect them to be similar.

This is something else I can review more in depth, coming from a family that loves playing poker. The quality of the prints is beautiful, however I keep them in the box all the time because the quality of the cards itself is not good!

The cards feel like store bought cardboard; good playing cards are made out of cardboard, but this deck doesn't have the same treatment. They are so fragile, even by just handling them to get the face cards I've already made slight damage to the edges. I wouldn't play any game with them, much less shuffle them. I don't even want to imagine how much they will bend. Also the Crystal card came with damage (the small white spot on the edge) from the store. Pain.

Anyways. I'll frame the face cards because they are so pretty and I want to keep them in the best condition... I don't know what I will do with the rest of the 36 cards. Maybe practice magic tricks? Lol. Before all this I've been working on how to scan all the face cards and post them, but it's been more difficult than expected. If you have ever tried to digitize prints you will know. Once I have them, I'll post them alongside high quality scans.

When it comes to my review of PandaBuy... On one hand it was an excellent service and experience. On the other... I don't even want to reveal how much the shipping was. I wouldn't recommend anyone else do it unless you are stupid with your money (like me), even then

I would advice to do your own research. PandaBuy and all agents to buy from China are definitely better when you buy in bulk. My package was 'only' 2kg. Many people buy over 10kg to make it worth it. I'm already committed so if new volumes come out I will buy them, and maybe also get counterfeit Gucci shoes or something since that's what most people use this agents for...

That's all for now. Feel free to reply or send any questions you have.

[mariacallous]

In March 2024, the Russian military began its largest aerial attack on Ukraine’s energy infrastructure yet, disabling about half of the country’s power generating capacity. While many of the affected facilities will take years to repair, winter is just months away, and Russia’s attacks show no sign of stopping. Journalists from the independent outlet iStories spoke to a number of industry experts to find out how the Ukrainian authorities are preparing for the upcoming heating season. Meduza shares an abridged translation of their reporting.

“This winter, millions [of Ukrainians] are going to freeze. What kind of advice do you give people in that situation? Leave the city for the village and stock up on firewood,” said Ukrainian businessman Ihor Tynny, cofounder of the Ukrainian Renewable Energy Association, in early June.

While the first winter of the full-scale war was brutal, almost leading the Kyiv authorities to issue an evacuation order, the winter of 2023–2024 was comparatively manageable. In March, however, the Russian army began a massive airstrike campaign against Ukraine’s energy infrastructure that turned out to be hugely effective, ultimately destroying about half of the country’s electricity generation capacity. Many Ukrainian city dwellers now risk being left not only without power but also without heat in the upcoming winter; however, experts say there’s no reason to fear a complete collapse of the central heating system.

A new approach

Russia’s widespread assault on Ukraine’s energy system began on March 22. That day, according to the Ukrainian Air Force, Russian troops launched 63 attack drones and 88 missiles of various kinds. The Ukrainian authorities reported that the attack was the largest on the country’s energy infrastructure since the start of the war, with more than 10 power facilities targeted, including the Dnipro Hydroelectric Station in the Zaporizhzhia region. In June, Russia carried out another attack against the plant, disabling it completely; restoring it is expected to take years.

Since then, Russia has continued to launch regular strikes against Ukrainian energy facilities. Its tactics have changed since the full-scale war’s first winter: while Russian forces previously targeted electrical substations using cruise missiles and kamikaze drones, their new approach is to target large thermal and electrical power plants with an expanded arsenal that includes Iskander and Kinzhal missiles. They’ve also started carrying out more concentrated attacks by targeting fewer facilities at a time, CNN has reported. According to the Financial Times, Russia’s attacks have targeted thermal power plants in the regions that are the least protected from air attacks.

These strikes began near the end of the heating season, which may be because the Russian army spent the winter stockpiling missiles. Russia may also have been waiting for the Ukrainian army to start running low on missiles for air defense systems; by February, according to The New York Times, Ukraine only had a few weeks’ worth of missiles left for its U.S.-made Patriot systems. It wasn’t able to start replenishing its stocks until after the U.S. Congress approved a new military aid package in late April.

Protecting thermal or hydroelectric power plants from a massive air attack when dozens of different kinds of missiles and drones are hitting the target at once is practically impossible, according to Ukrainian energy expert Volodymyr Omelchenko. The protective structures that Ukraine built at its energy facilities after the winter of 2022–2023 can shield against missile debris, he said, but not against direct hits.

Can Ukraine make up for the lost capacity?

Russia has destroyed 80 percent of Ukraine’s thermal power generation capacity and about a third of its hydroelectric power generation capacity, totaling about 9 GW of capacity, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky said on June 11. Last winter, the country’s peak energy demand was about 18 GW.

The Ukrainian authorities plan to take a range of measures to compensate for the country’s lost capacity, Ukrainian energy market expert Hennadiy Riabtsev told iStories. To start, they’ll work to repair as many of the damaged facilities as possible before the start of the heating season. “There are facilities that can be restored, and this work has already begun,” Riabtsev said.

Additionally, the authorities will bring smaller plants that were shut down in the past for various reasons back into operation. Many of these facilities were decommissioned due to low efficiency or high fuel costs. “I know for sure that in one region, there’s a 200-MW station that’s currently sitting idle due to a court decision: there was a conflict between the owners,” Riabtsev explained.

Another option is for the authorities to install new thermal stations with production capacities ranging from 5 MW to 30 MW, also known as mini thermal power plants (TPPs). The timeframes for purchasing, transporting, and installing these mini TPPs can vary from one month to one year.

Additionally, Ukraine has numerous natural gas distribution units that are currently sitting idle. In 2022, after the start of Russia’s full-scale invasion, Ukraine reduced the transit of Russian gas through its territory, and the Ukrainian authorities have said that they plan to stop transporting Russian gas through the country entirely after 2024, when the five-year contract signed in 2019 expires. “All of these gas compression and pumping stations are capable of generating electricity and thermal energy,” Riabtsev told iStories. “All of them will be utilized [for electricity production], as has been mandated by [Ukraine’s] National Security and Defense Council.”

Creating energy storage systems at intermittent power stations, primarily at solar farms, which cover up to 20 percent of Ukraine’s electricity consumption on sunny days, will also help mitigate the problem.

Riabtsev estimates that restoring damaged facilities could yield about 2 GW, while restarting dormant plants, installing mini TPPs, and making use of gas distribution units could add another 1.5–2 GW. Storage capacities, meanwhile, could contribute about 1 GW, and electricity imports from Europe could add another 0.5 GW, though this would only benefit Ukraine’s western regions, and it’s unclear whether European countries will have surplus electricity for export.

That leaves Ukraine’s likely deficit this winter at 4–4.5 GW, which would necessitate scheduled power outages of 4–8 hours per day, or up to 10 hours per day in some regions, according to Riabtsev. The energy supplier Yasno has said it’s possible that consumers might only have electricity for 5–6 hours a day.

As prepared as possible

Ihor Tynny isn’t the only person who’s advised Ukrainians to spend the coming winter outside of the cities. Former Ukrainian Energy Minister Oleksiy Orzhel endorsed the same strategy earlier this month, as did Oleh Popenko, head of the country’s Union of Utility Service Consumers.

For many, relocating will likely become necessary not because of a lack of electricity but due to heating shutdowns. The thermal power plants that have been destroyed by the Russian army not only generated electricity but also provided hot water for cities’ municipal heating systems. In 2021, according to the International District Energy Association, 53 percent of urban households in Ukraine were connected to these central heating systems.

This winter, residents of apartment buildings that have switched to electric heating in recent years will be most at risk, Popenko told iStories. While there are no centralized statistics on the proportion of high-rise buildings that have made the switch, there are entire cities where central heating is completely absent, including Nikopol and Marhanets in the Dnipropetrovsk region and Pokrovsk in the Donetsk region.

Buildings that were connected to central heating systems but now lack heat due to the destruction of thermal power plants can be heated using mini TPPs and mobile boilers. To supply heated water to high-rise apartment buildings, charging devices will need to be installed to provide electricity during outages. Popenko is confident Ukrainian energy workers will be able to handle both of these tasks in big cities, though he says there will be “some problems” in smaller cities with smaller budgets and fewer specialists.

Out of Ukraine’s major cities, Kharkiv will likely be the most vulnerable this winter, Riabtsev told iStories. Currently, the city is targeted by military and bombing attacks almost daily, and on March 22, the Kharkiv TEC-5 plant, which covered about 30 percent of the city’s thermal energy needs, was destroyed. City authorities plan to make up for the lost capacity with smaller power stations and mobile boilers that will be distributed throughout the city, making the energy system less vulnerable to Russian strikes; nonetheless, there’s no guarantee that the system will be able to function throughout the entire season while under constant attack.

In the war’s first winter, emergency power outages following aerial attacks were particularly dangerous for Ukraine’s critical infrastructure, including hospitals. Reports appeared regularly in the Ukrainian media about doctors continuing with surgeries after the power went out, and many routine surgeries had to be postponed.

The Ukrainian authorities were more prepared for the winter of 2023–2024, and they largely managed to keep critical infrastructure operational throughout the season, according to Riabtsev. This coming winter, they will have significantly more resources at their disposal, while many establishments such as businesses and schools have acquired generators as well. “The number of autonomous power sources [in Ukrainian cities] has increased not just tenfold, I think, but by several orders of magnitude,” Riabtsev said.

“Almost all social sector facilities, especially hospitals, are equipped with powerful generators,” Popenko said. “I don’t see any problems here. Everything was worked out last winter and the previous winter.”

[allsadnshit]

what do you do for work that allows you to cook a lot and make art? I'm so burnt out from work and dont have energy to make art anymore, but u inspire me to get back at it!!

there's no "allowing"

I got a chronic illness diagnosis, surgery, and the advice that unless I want more surgery there isn't much more to do so I had to stop working full time. wasn't really a choice, and my bank account which was full of years of savings from never taking time off is now almost completely drained!

being sick doesn't allow me to work 5 days a week anymore, there's no magic short cut for why I am home so much. I am trying to transition into being able to do my art, cooking, and writing to financially support myself but it's out of necessity.

Sometimes I guess life gives gifts in hard to understand packages because I am happier working a labor intensive job less, but it's been extremely costly doing so without any sort of assisted transition. I just took the L and lose the money and have faith I will figure it out and do what I can part time to support myself

[stylesavingssavvy]

How to Save Money on Beauty Products Online: A Complete Guide 

Introduction: 

Keeping up with the latest beauty trends in the modern world can occasionally feel like a financial burden. But do not worry! Saving money on your favorite beauty products has never been simpler, thanks to innovative shopping platforms like Redfynd. Whether you're shopping for skincare, haircare, cosmetics, or other basics for your beauty routine, this guide will take you through five easy steps to help you look amazing on a budget.   

Identify what you need: 

Understand Your Beauty Regimen Needs: Take some time to determine what you require before sinking into the world of online cosmetic shopping. Are you in need of a new serum, or are you almost out of your favorite lipstick? Determining exactly what you need will keep you concentrated and prevent you from making pointless purchases, ultimately resulting in financial savings.  

Do a personal assessment. Assess your skin type, hair type, and any specific concerns you might have (like acne, fizziness, or pigmentation) to better understand your needs. For accurate advice and to ensure you choose products that offer effective results without side effects, consider consulting with a dermatologist, especially if you’re dealing with sensitive skin or serious beauty concerns.  

Create an Inventory List: Develop the habit of maintaining an inventory list of your current beauty products. This not only prevents you from buying duplicates but also helps you avoid purchasing multiple products for the same purpose. Utilize apps or simple spreadsheets to track the usage and expiration dates of products you already own. Alongside your inventory, keep a wishlist of items you want to explore. Prioritize this list based on your most-needed items and include products that come highly recommended or have top-rated reviews.  

Conduct thorough research by reviewing customer ratings: 

After you have a clear idea of what you want, it's time to do a little homework online. Conduct Research the product and make sure it matches your concerns, skin type, and hair type. See online reviews to see if you are buying make-up and how it looks after application. Examine many online merchants to locate the greatest offers and compare prices. Keep an eye out for deals, discounts, and package deals that will enable you to spend less on cosmetics. Avoid impulsive buying.  

Spend a little time reading feedback from others before making a purchase. This can help you prevent costly errors by providing insightful information on the efficacy and quality of a product. To be sure you're receiving the most value for your money, look for items with high ratings and reviews that are positive.  

Use Comparison Sites like Redfynd to Compare Prices: 

Comparison websites like Redfynd, in addition to cashback, may be very helpful resources for online shoppers looking to save money on beauty items. These websites make it simple to locate the greatest bargain without spending hours searching the internet by allowing you to compare prices from several stores all in one location.  

Redfynd is the largest beauty comparison site with more than 1.5 million skincare and makeup products and 15+ beauty retailers, including Nykaa, Myntra, Tira, Ajio, Taacliq Palette, Sephora, etc.  

Whenever you're looking for a new hair oil, shampoo, hair styling gel, or comparison website, they may assist you in finding the best deal. Additionally, a lot of comparison websites include thorough product evaluations and information to aid in your decision-making. You can purchase with confidence knowing that you're getting the greatest bargain possible on all your favorite beauty goods thanks to comparison sites' simplicity and savings.  

Utilize Cashback Sites like Redfynd: 

Platforms like Redfynd provide an easy-to-use but efficient means of getting money back on cosmetic purchases. All you must do is register, shop on their site, and watch as your savings increase with each transaction. It's like getting rewarded for shopping for your preferred face mask, face wash, or cleanser. To help you save more money, with Redfynd, you can find the best deals that are available in any online store in India. You can begin receiving cashback on all your cosmetic purchases with only a few clicks, and you can gradually see your savings grow.   

Conclusion: 

Shopping online for cosmetics doesn't have to be a difficult way to save money. You can buy more wisely and get more beauty for your money by following the above five easy steps: figuring out what you need, researching, using cashback and comparison websites, and checking user ratings. So, feel free to treat yourself to a wonderful mascara or to that lip gloss without breaking the bank!   

[fukuokadivision1]

Big events like this Secret Santa thing was something Ryuko was still adjusting to. The animation studio he’s in holding a Christmas party, in between the time crunches, and to top it off, Ryuko’s D.R.B. duties? It's got the poor man stressed beyond belief. But not enough to slack off on his duties of course, as he manages to ask for advice from his brother to get a gift for the woman he was assigned to gift, Ming Kawanoe. And so, at her door a package from the ex-yakuza arrived, containing…

A surprisingly cute tea gift set! Containing Genmaicha tea, little snacks, and candy all wrapped in little black cat design packaging. No letter was attached, outside of a notecard inside with the sender and addressee written, along with a surprisingly cute illustration of a cat similar to the packing design drinking some tea at a kotatsu.

.

.

.

“I want a kitty cat drawing too!”

“Fucking pay up then.”

“Ryuko, you don’t have to-”

“TAKE ALL MY MONEY!”

“...Nevermind. I forget who you are, detective…”

Ming's mouth fell open at the sight of the tea set. She didn't know who had gifted this to her, but it was a welcome sight. Truthfully, she had seen things like this in the market all the time, but she knew that even if she saved up, she could never afford it. Being the most financially-responsible out of the MIHANASA, she naturally took control of the group's finances. Thus, she knew that she had to be very careful with how much she spent so that there was enough left over for food and utilities.

Looking at the tea set, Ming smiled and immediately headed to the kitchen to prepare herself some. After moving to Fukuoka, she had to adapt to drinking generic tea, so something like this, she was definitely going to enjoy, even if it came at least once or twice a year!

Thanks for the gift!

[sasquatchandleatherjacket]

hi I do not want to overstep, but I work in financial aid and this year has been horrific to students and their families. I saw your post in the fafsa tag about tuition, and it is unacceptable that it is 2 weeks out from the bill being due and you don't have your offer.

a few things -- if that offer comes back and it is too low, you have the right to appeal the award amount (do you have educational tax credits, student loans you're repaying, grandparents you support financially, regular medical bills, etc that the office did not consider?). You might be able to request an extension on the bill's payment due to the lack of the letter.

if there are no late fees for paying the bill, then you might be able to hold on paying until you get your award letter and are able to evaluate the actual offer. Payment plans can help you spread out payments in chunks of 3,4,5 etc.

You can ask about deferring attendance, in the worst-case scenario.

Wishing you and your kid the best!!

Hi kind anonymous friend! I am ASTOUNDED at how messed up things are this year and honest to god think some kind of class action against General Dynamics is called for!! Or a senate hearing or something.

Thanks for the advice! I have reached out to the bursars office to inquire about payment deadline extensions and etc and am waiting to hear back.

TODAY we received a message that the noncustodial parent waiver we submitted months ago was rejected… which is just WILD and all but guarantees we will not have an aid package before classes start. The VERY INCREDIBLY HELPFUL email did not say WHY it was rejected, lol, so like, waiting to hear back about that too. (If you have any insight on what supporting documentation I can submit to prove that my ex left the country 10 years ago and we are unable to contact him that would be great😅).

Anyway, payment is due the 8th and move in is the 21st and we FULLY don’t know how much aid we’ll get or if we’ll get ANY which is absolutely bonkers and terrifying and I haven’t had a good nights sleep in weeks.

Anon I can only imagine how much this sucks for those of you working in financial aid offices, I hope you are taking care of yourself and that it hasn’t been too terrible!

[artezavisions]

Need help with our current and future legal fees

I am reaching out to you today to humbly ask for your support in our fight against the dishonest and frankly totally unfit executor of my wife's mother's will.

He has bombarded our family with many insults, lies, and totally untrue accusations. Some are extremely personal, obscene, and completely unfounded. All these messages were sent via WhatsApp and Messenger. On one occasion he said to my wife after she questioned what he was doing 'It's nothing to do with you and anyway you will be dead soon' Copies of all these messages are held by our legal representatives.

We desperately need to remove him as an executor but this is proving to be beyond our means.

Our solicitor needs 1500 pounds to prepare the case and then a further 2000 pounds to submit it to the court. After that, if there is a hearing, costs will spiral.

Sadly, this individual (My wife's brother) has failed badly to carry out his responsibilities with honesty and integrity, causing undue hardship, mental anguish, and many legal challenges for my wife. He has resisted every attempt we have made to negotiate an end to this matter. His replies to requests made by our legal representatives were met with the same vitriolic comments we have been receiving. Once even accusing them of Fraud and threatening them with being reported to HMRC.

We also suspect that at or around the time of my wife's Mother's death he took amounts of money from her bank and savings accounts though we cannot prove this as we have not got access yet to her banking records. We have written to the relevant banks and building societies in order to investigate this further.

He has withheld the information from my wife for almost four years that she was named as a co-executor of the estate. We only got sight of the will he holds in early 2023. This happened after he had taken legal advice which he seems to have now abandoned.

Without her knowledge or permission rented out her mother's property in September 2019 some 8 weeks after her death.

This rental was not registered with the proper authorities and as far as we know no contract was signed. He has since registered himself as the landlord and owner of the property with the rental authorities(2022). He has taken the rent from that property for his own personal income Est 40,000 pounds to date. This money belongs to the estate.

We are asking for donations in light of our mounting legal fees as we have all but exhausted our savings and are unable to continue. We plan to have him removed as an executor so we can finally close off the estate. This can be a very expensive and lengthy process.

To date, he has not applied for probate for the estate but rather used the assets of that estate for his own financial benefit. He had the house valued even before the funeral had taken place and rented out the property only a few weeks after. He did not register the rental of the property with the appropriate authorities. The house was not insured and no contract was in place with the tenant. He did not remove any of my wife's parent's belongings or furniture. These were left for the tenant to package up and store outside the house in a lean-to garage. Anything my wife would have wanted to keep as a memento has now gone. We imagine photographs, letters etc are all destroyed.

He continues to attempt to insult our family via social media and any other means at his disposal, though we have blocked him wherever we can.

He has made no attempt to instigate a probate application himself nor is he showing any signs of cooperating with us. My wife's mother had always insisted that there was enough money in her accounts to pay for the funeral expenses. This proved not to be the case and we made up the difference.

To ensure that justice is served and the wishes of the deceased are respected, we are in need of financial assistance to cover the mounting legal fees. Every donation, no matter the size, will bring us one step closer to holding this person accountable and ensuring a just resolution. We kindly request your generosity in helping us fight for what is rightfully ours and stand against dishonesty. Any contribution will make a significant difference in our pursuit of justice. Thank you in advance for your support and belief in our case.

[elis-corner]

So I tried binding with tape for the first time (unsafe situation edition).

If you want to hear about how I'm getting away with it and my experiences, look below the cut <3

Before I begin, if you're looking for advice, I live in Australia, have limited income, and am typically an AU B or C in terms of bra size and don't compress well. A lot of my advice will be specific to my environment and physicality, so keep that in mind.

I (transmasc) currently live in a context where I have to maintain a somewhat feminine appearance (for my interests, religion, education, etc.), and am financially dependant on people who are wholly against queerness.

SPORTS BRAS: Almost a year after I realised I wasn't cis, and that just dressing in masculine-ish women's clothes wasn't going to stop my dysphoria, I started getting sports bras, as I heard they could compress your chest. This is what they DIDN'T tell me:

remove. the. cups. They're just extra padding and will not help you look flat.

Not any sports bra will cut it. You don't want a low impact one; get a medium to high impact one. I currently use ones from Target/Kmart since I'm broke. I've found that, out of what I've tried, the "Active Everlast Womens Square Crop Top" from Kmart works best for me.

Either size down one, or double layer. Don't do both, you won't be able to breathe.

Try them on in store with a shirt over it and see how you look. Try double-layering them under the shirt, too. Don't forget to take the pads out when you try them.

Don't wear two if it's cold. You're gonna layer for the weather anyway so you'll already look smaller, plus you might struggle to breathe.

TAPING: I should probably preface with this: don't tape all the way around your body, don't tape with anything not meant for skin, and cover those nips if you don't want to feel the worst regret of your life (you can use covers, cotton, tissue, whatever).

TransTape is not an option, due to my living situation, so what I did was I got one of my friends (who does sport and therefore owns a ton of sports tape) to give me some rolls. This is a good and safe alternative, HOWEVER:

The strips are often thinner, so I recommend sticking them together into a thicker strip before putting it on yourself.

Remember to rub to activate adhesive.

Put test strips on your chest (underarms or sternum) for 12-24 hours to see if your chest will react negatively to the adhesive or materials.

With a larger chest, you might want to lie down and see what gravity does to you. If this doesn't work, do it the mirror, and look at how your body moves when you pull it BEFORE YOU PUT THE TAPE ON.

If you're cool with it, maybe get someone you trust to help you for the first time or two.

THERE ARE TUTORIALS. USE THEM.

WHERE TO BUY THINGS IN AUSTRALIA (if you can afford/are safe): In Sydney, there is a store called Sock Drawer Heroes (SDH) which ships around AU and NZ. They are a queer-owned business which sells gender-affirming products for people of all genders. Their shipping has discreet packaging, too.

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE PRODUCTS, but I know people who do and are satisfied with their purchases.

In terms of transmasc stuff, they sell:

Binders of different colours and lengths (their own brand and Underworks)

Tape

Packers

"Adult" products

Their binders: - Range from AUD$64-92 (the full length ones are more costly, and the most expensive are the swimwear options) - Come in full and half lengths - Is a swimwear option - Different colours, however as a small business they only have a few shades (which are lighter skin tones, black, and white) - There used to be a binder donation, I don't know what the deal is with it now. - Returns are possible. The binder cannot have been worn (tried on is fine), and it must be 30 days within the date of purchase.

Their tape: - Wider skin tone range than the binders (including black, white, and vivid colours if you wanna have fun). - Costs AUD$20-24

Their packers: - Pouches, prosthetics, underwear, straps - Again, limited shade range (about 4-5 per model) - AUD$16-159 (depends on what you want, of course) - I do not pack, so I can't really talk about much here.

I hope this will help someone out there, what with the lack of queer resources there are for aussies. Lots of love and stay safe! <3

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Robert Faturechi, Justin Elliott, and Alex Mierjeski at ProPublica:

Nine witnesses in the criminal cases against former President Donald Trump have received significant financial benefits, including large raises from his campaign, severance packages, new jobs, and a grant of shares and cash from Trump’s media company. The benefits have flowed from Trump’s businesses and campaign committees, according to a ProPublica analysis of public disclosures, court records and securities filings. One campaign aide had his average monthly pay double, from $26,000 to $53,500. Another employee got a $2 million severance package barring him from voluntarily cooperating with law enforcement. And one of the campaign’s top officials had her daughter hired onto the campaign staff, where she is now the fourth-highest-paid employee. These pay increases and other benefits often came at delicate moments in the legal proceedings against Trump. One aide who was given a plum position on the board of Trump’s social media company, for example, got the seat after he was subpoenaed but before he testified.

Significant changes to a staffer’s work situation, such as bonuses, pay raises, firings or promotions, can be evidence of a crime if they come outside the normal course of business. To prove witness tampering, prosecutors would need to show that perks or punishments were intended to influence testimony. White-collar defense lawyers say the situation Trump finds himself in — in the dual role of defendant and boss of many of the people who are the primary witnesses to his alleged crimes — is not uncommon. Their standard advice is not to provide any unusual benefits or penalties to such employees. Ideally, decisions about employees slated to give evidence should be made by an independent body such as a board, not the boss who is under investigation. In addition to the New York case in which Trump was convicted last week, stemming from hidden payments to a porn star, Trump is facing separate charges federally and in Georgia for election interference and in another federal case for mishandling classified documents.

Attempts to exert undue influence on witnesses have been a repeated theme of Trump-related investigations and criminal cases over the years. Trump’s former campaign manager and former campaign adviser were convicted on federal witness tampering charges in 2018 and 2019. The campaign adviser had told a witness to “do a ‘Frank Pentangeli,’” referencing a character in “The Godfather Part II” who lies to a Senate committee investigating organized crime. Trump later pardoned both men in the waning days of his presidency. (He did not pardon a co-defendant of the campaign manager who had cooperated with the government.) During the congressional investigation into the storming of the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, a former White House staffer testified that she got a call from a colleague the night before an interview with investigators. The colleague told her Trump’s chief of staff “wants me to let you know that he knows you’re loyal and he knows you’ll do the right thing tomorrow and that you’re going to protect him and the boss.” (A spokesperson for the chief of staff denied that he tried to influence testimony.)

Last year, Trump himself publicly discouraged a witness from testifying in the Georgia case. Trump posted on social media that he had read about a Georgia politician who “will be testifying before the Fulton County Grand Jury. He shouldn’t.” One witness has said publicly that, when he quit working for Trump in the midst of the classified documents criminal investigation, he was offered golf tournament tickets, a lawyer paid for by Trump and a new job that would have come with a raise. The witness, a valet and manager at Mar-a-Lago, had direct knowledge of the handling of the government documents at the club, the focus of one of the criminal cases against the former president. “I’m sure the boss would love to see you,” the employee, Brian Butler, recalled Trump’s property manager telling him. (The episode was first reported by CNN.) In an interview with ProPublica, Butler, who declined the offers, said he looked at them “innocently for a while.” But when he added up the benefits plus the timing, he thought “it could be them trying to get me back in the circle.”

ProPublica with some hard-hitting journalism here, as 9 witnesses in Donald Trump’s multiple criminal cases have received significant financial benefits from both his campaign and his businesses.

See Also:

MMFA: National news media are glossing over Trump’s “shady” financial benefits to witnesses

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: INFJ with weak Fe. Immature FPs can be amazingly noble and loyal at times, but their combination of sensitivity and insensitivity toward others can irritate me. In particular, with my ISFP (now former, I guess) best friend of many years, in response to a question she asked about why I list my educational background (I went to top universities) on dating apps, I mentioned that I want to make it very clear that I value my career (to indicate I won't be e.g. a homemaker).

I realize this may have come off as arrogant or prejudiced. I truly believe that college admissions is very noisy and biased in countless ways, but I also cannot engage with all the people who show interest in dating apps and the goal here was to filter as efficiently as possible. I have observed that some men have a strong reaction to my accomplishments, and I think it’s best to filter that out from the outset - forgot whether I said that to her explicitly at the time.

It's an open question whether listing my education is the best way of filtering for compatibility, of course. She went to a less prestigious university, and has mentioned many times that she is deeply insecure about this. I could tell that she was quite offended (there was a lengthy pause after I said that), and despite 13 years of fairly close friendship she ghosted me almost immediately (it’s been a couple months now of no response). She was also going through a hard time more generally.

I was also very offended in this same conversation that she revealed some very private information to me about another friend of hers and spoke in a condescending manner toward this friend, who was going through a very tough time. Now I feel like my ability to trust her has seriously declined. This is abnormal behavior from her, I should say - she normally speaks of her other friends in a respectful manner and doesn't gossip about them.

She has been insensitive toward me in countless small ways (self-absorption, often being late or flaky, some insensitive comments, although usually when she herself is under stress), though also extremely sweet and caring at times (e.g. sending me encouraging notes on the day of important presentations, sending me a care package when I was going through a tough time, etc.). I don't think she's ever really been healthy as she consistently has sort of a cynical attitude.

I also get the sense that immature Fi types basically cannot handle criticism so am not even sure we can have a rational discussion about these topics. We’ve never really had a ”meta“ discussion about our friendship - there’s a lot that has been unsaid, with silent resentment on both sides presumably. I kind of attempted to ghost her (very immature, I know - not something I would do now) a few years ago, in response to her being very late yet again without an apology. To be fair, she was going through a breakup and was a bit of a mess. However, she was somewhat persistent and we continued the friendship, albeit on somewhat shakier footing.

Conversations with her are not quite as easy as with N types, but there's something special about the very long shared history. I am seriously considering whether to reach out and apologize for the educational pedigree comment, or just let the friendship go. The latter would sadden me - she was the only person outside of my family who was there for me during the most difficult time of my life. As of now, my inclination is toward reaching out to her and at least trying to hear her perspective on why she ghosted me. This would be the first step toward a more "conscious" friendship, which is one of my main goals in life more generally. Do you have any advice on how to best go about salvaging this friendship?

What am I missing about my own blind spots here? From her perspective, I can see that I may have made insensitive comments to her (saying that I am unlikely to go back to school due to the financial opportunity cost, in a conversation when she shared that she is experiencing anxiety due to emptying her savings to do a master's degree). And also being fairly self-absorbed on a vacation we went on awhile back, due to stress about grad school.

I'm not sure it feels totally right to me to apologize for the education comment - I stand by my reasoning that it's crucial to filter out incompatible people from the outset - although I do feel bad if her feelings were hurt at an already difficult time for her. I'm debating whether to bring up in the same message how her violating her friend's privacy weakened my trust in her, or defer that to later. )

[addendum] Funnily enough, though around three months had elapsed since my last message to her, she just texted me and we're planning to meet up sometime soon. So I guess my question is if you have advice on whether I should explicitly raise these topics - me making it clear I don't think less of anyone based on which college they went to, and also express that the way she spoke about her friend made me uncomfortable - and if so, how.

---------------------

1) With regard to communication skills: It's not my place to tell people what to do. You have to learn to trust your instincts in social situations, otherwise, you'll never be able to develop healthy Ni+Fe. When socializing, context matters a lot in deciding whether it's the right/wrong time to talk about something. There are no hard and fast rules other than be observant of the emotional atmosphere.

Work your way into difficult topics gradually or tentatively in order to gauge the other person's receptiveness. Being too abrupt/direct reveals your impatience and puts people on the spot, which is more likely to make them close up. Deliberately taking things slow makes difficult conversations go more smoothly because it gives people time and space to reflect and prepare mentally and emotionally.

2) With regard to your blind spots: It's not a crime to want certain things from a relationship or even to hope for them. However, it is unreasonable to expect/demand things from people who aren't capable of giving those things. For example, if I was a parent, of course I would wish for my child to be on their best behavior at all times. But it's unreasonable to expect/demand that children behave like perfect little adults because that's just not what they are, and it would do them great harm to stifle their natural tendency to be active and exploratory.

Relationship expectations should always be grounded in reality. One of the dangers of unhealthy Ni is not realizing when you are disconnected from reality. In the worst case scenario, Ni's idealism mutates into perfectionism, and then that perfectionism gets projected out onto the world in the form of unreasonable standards and expectations.

For example, you said that your friend has experienced certain hardships that account for her negative behavior, so are you still expecting her to behave like a person who hasn't experienced those hardships? You must be, since you still judge her for it. Answer honestly: Do you expect her to live up to some ideal in your head about what she should be? If so, the problem is you.

In a truly close relationship, both people should be mature enough to discuss anything openly and honestly. If that's not the case here, then you have to think more carefully about whether bringing up a problem will help/hurt the relationship. As a general rule, if you're unhappy about how a relationship is going, you ought to discuss it and try to resolve the issue together. However, if the source of unhappiness lies squarely in your unreasonable expectations, the burden falls mainly upon you to change your perspective in order to resolve the issue.

3) With regard to Fe development, there are several aspects to it and your lack of Fe development might produce some blind spots.

a) Empathy: You give off the appearance of empathizing, such as pointing out her good qualities and trying to understand what motivates her behavior, but your empathy isn't real when you just end up passing judgment on her. Your judgmentalness even leads you onto a moral high horse to stereotype all "immature" Fi people. If this is how you're going to apply ideas about type, i.e, to justify and vent about your frustrations, you're doing it wrong. The purpose of learning about different personality types is to foster empathy.

Developing Fe should promote empathy by allowing INFJs to inhabit the experience of others. However, immature FJs with ego development issues often end up twisting the idea of empathy. Perhaps they try too hard to be a good person for ego identity reasons and then empathy easily morphs into self-sacrifice or martyrdom and, eventually, self-harm. The more they sacrifice in relationships, the more resentment builds up, and the more repressed anger and then rage they unconsciously harbor. This makes them less and less empathetic and more and more judgmental over time, which sabotages their original goal of being a good person. The more judgmental they are, the more jaded their outlook, and the more likely they are to conclude that people are bad, adversarial, or even irredeemable, which then justifies continued fixation on people's negative qualities/behaviors in a vicious cycle.

Thus, judgmentalness is a common symptom of Fe development problems. To be in the habit of positioning oneself as "judge" is to like the feeling of being morally righteous and/or morally superior... but only in one's own mind. In reality, a judgmental attitude is the mark of an insecure person. Secure people have absolutely no need to convince themselves of their own righteousness or superiority, let alone try to prove it to anyone.

b) Emotional Intelligence: Judgmentalness is a sign of emotional immaturity. Being immature means you have yet to learn how to set a healthy boundary between self and world, so you are very inclined to believe that your feelings/emotions are caused by others, and this means your emotional stability is always at the mercy of others. Whenever you feel hurt, disappointed, jealous, resentful, angry, etc, you don't take responsibility for how you generated that feeling and, instead, look for someone/something to blame.

To blame is to be morally judgmental. People like to blame because it feels good; it feels as though you're righting a wrong when you identify the source of wrongdoing. In reality, blame only feels good because people willfully ignore its downsides.

For one, the longer you allow yourself to live in a blaming mindset, the easier and easier it becomes to justify bitter, cynical, harsh, aggressive, controlling, manipulative, vindictive, cruel, and even violent thoughts and behaviors. People don't start out life wanting to be a bad person. They become so when they aren't aware that their judgment process is increasingly fueled by negative emotions like resentment and anger, thereby opening up the space for dark traits to eventually take over.

The other downside of blame is that it severs connection, so it's basically poison to relationships. Casting blame is like barking a demand. You didn't like what the other person did, so you demand that they change and behave as you want them to, which puts them on the spot of either submitting (which foments resentment) or resisting (which foments anger). Since FJs really dislike open and naked conflict, they may resort to blaming people silently, believing that it has no real-world effect. However, it still motivates you to detach. In a close relationship, emotional distance or coldness is easily felt.

c) Fairness and Equality: Conflict is inevitable in close relationships, so it's important to accept the fact rather than try to avoid or resist it. Different people have different needs, desires, goals, and aspirations, so there's bound to be some disagreement that sparks conflict. What matters most is whether you can handle conflict in an objective way that allows both people to walk away feeling as though they were heard, understood, and treated fairly.

Being judgmental means you're not being fair because it's really just about projecting and venting your feelings and emotions. Thus, it makes your view of things too one-sided. If you approach the conflict resolution process with judgmentalness, you immediately put the other person on the defensive and at risk of judging you back in an attempt to "even the score". What happens then? Warfare.

When two people disagree, it should be accepted as normal, acceptable, and something that needs to be worked out through proper communication. When your emotional needs aren't being met in the relationship, take responsibility for them rather than blaming the other person, and discuss ways to move forward in way that both people can live with. See the article in the site index about Communicating Through Conflict for more detail.

d) Compassion, Generosity, and Magnanimity: These things come as you work to improve your capacity for empathy.

- Empathy allows you to feel the suffering of others, which motivates you to treat them with kindness and compassion, in order to alleviate some of that suffering. Observe yourself carefully when you're feeling judgmental and blame-y, is there still space left for kindness and compassion in you? You can't have it both ways, so choose the person you'd rather be.

- Mature FJs understand the concept of emotional needs: what they are, how to read them, how to fulfill them, and what happens when they go unfulfilled. They attend to everyone's emotional needs because they understand that doing so will improve spirits and make it far easier for people to grow closer and cooperate (harmony).

It doesn't matter what type you are, if you grew up in an environment that didn't recognize and honor emotional needs (which is true for a lot of people), you're more likely to be an emotionally "stingy" person and view relationships as win/lose competitions. Emotionally stingy people tend to view love as something they get (to fill the void within) rather than something they generate (for transforming their entire way of being). Emotionally stingy people are: unwilling to give others the benefit of the doubt, ignorant about how to meet emotional needs, and unwilling to devote energy to anything larger than themselves. But an emotionally deprived upbringing can be reversed in adulthood by actively nurturing emotional generosity.

Emotional generosity is about the willingness to give and not expect something in return other than to feel the simple joy of seeing someone else satisfied. This is a concept FJs often struggle with. They understand that when you expect something in return for giving, you aren't really being motivated by generosity. If generosity isn't the motivation, then it must be selfishness, right? Wrong.

Everyone has emotional needs, including you. Are you able to accept that you're human and have needs? Perfectionist INFJs aren't. It is important to attend to emotional needs in order to feel truly fulfilled in life. What's most important is how you go about getting your needs met. You have to be assertive to work for the things you need in life or ask for them when you aren't able to get them for yourself.

However, many FJs struggle with assertiveness because they have trouble acknowledging their own needs, so, instead, they give a lot to others in secret hopes of getting something back. And this is how they get into relationship trouble. This goes back to the idea of setting healthy boundaries between self and others. Getting what you need should not be too entangled with giving others what they need because it might produce a conflict of interest where you're forced to choose between yourself or others.

- When you learn to be more emotionally generous, you also become more magnanimous. This means you are able to keep your eye on the bigger picture, e.g.: of what kind of person you aspire to be, of what value a relationship truly has in your heart, of what your existence contributes to the larger fabric of society. Armed with a broader vision of life (which also relates to Ni development), you become a much more giving and forgiving person because you don't fixate on meaningless details or get distracted by trivial matters.

One thing I've observed over and over again is, when you ask people who are estranged from formerly close friends/family about "The Fight" that ended things, they often can't remember exactly what it was about. What does that tell you? It tells you that small-mindedness and pettiness often get in the way of love. Only with time and distance (i.e. the bigger picture) do they realize how insignificant the conflict really was and how pathetic it was to break up a relationship over something so minor. But, at the time of the break up, it seemed to them like the world was ending.

Are you guilty of small-mindedness? Are you so narrow in your focus in relationships that you're unable to see the bigger picture and then waste energy sweating all the small stuff? This goes back to the idea of expectations. If you're the kind of person who feels compelled to remake the world to match your ideal images, you're not going to do well in relationships. And if you are this kind of person, why? Usually, it is because of insecurity or self-loathing. If there are aspects of yourself that you deem unworthy of love and are constantly trying to disown/remove, how are you going to be accepting of these aspects when you see them out there in the world in other people?

To love is to accept someone as is. To love is to appreciate every aspect of someone because all their aspects are important for making them who they are. Before you think about how to filter people out of your dating pool, perhaps you should reflect on whether you are truly capable of love, which starts with being able to embrace and love all of yourself. If you're not capable of love, it doesn't matter who you meet, does it? Even if your perfect soulmate were to magically drop into your lap, you wouldn't be able to truly see and appreciate them anyway.