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monster-noises · 2 years ago

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not to be basic but 1 and 2 from that meta ask meme?

all the question are on the list for a reason Anon! no need to put yourself down for it v-v 1&2 are Excellent questions I"m happy to answer! now. I Imagine you intended this for Lazarus, But! you were not specific so you will now get a Very long post about Everyone >:3c (and by everyone I mean the main 3 characters I consider 'Bartholomew's Nasty Little Bastards')

First up, of course, we will do Lazarus! 1. What inspired you to create your oc?

The really obvious answer here is Re8, my instant consuming love for it and for Karl, the overwhelming need to like... Participate, somehow, in that world, but not being able to cross the Full self-insert hurdle.. He's basically a very Warped-beyond-recognition version of a self-insert, a guy all his own but in somewhere still very Connected to the Me. But the more like.. in depth stuff, like what inspired Lazarus to Be Who He Is is like.. I love like.. weird Art Gore, Body-As-Art kinda shit, Meaningful and disturbing.. somehow Comforting and he's kinda the perfect vessel for that. I've had the Human Taxidermy Artist thing floating around the back of my mind for a decade or so just Waiting for a place to land and Laz was a golden opportunity v-v.

2.Why does your oc look the way they do? What are your reasons for their appearance? When I was settling Lazarus's design I wanted him to have this appearance of like, a very refined and elegant individual; beautiful in a sort of Severe way, but twist it up ever so slightly so he registers as Uncanny and Gross. Beauty Hiding Filth and all that. (just think about how many Fluids get into that Velvet Ensemble on the daily, it's Not Good.) Like the way his pants cut him and the vertical lines make him just All Leg. And his pallid bloodstained skin which makes him look like a Walking Corpse, hair slicked back with its own grease.. a figure that's bewitching and unsettling to witness also yes, the hair is Both a Me thing and a Bride of Frankenstein thing.

Virgil always feels right coming Second on these things.. 1. Inspiration Virgil is ooooooooooold, he's so Old, virgil is Ancient Virgil is possibly my oldest still-in-use OC, I created him a Looooooong ass time ago. like 2010 Long Ass Time. That is to say I do not know Why she exists.

Okay, Not entirely true. I made her for a comic I was writing with my friend at the time. She was my part of the main villain pair, but I do Not remember how I ended up on Toxicologist prodigy but make it Cowboy (which was always a bit of a misnomer for the vibe but nowadays Especially he's less Johnny Cash more Nickleback) I Think, I Think, what I wanted was to have a character that contrasted the Hardest against my friends main villain? who was very Orderly and Serious and Efficient?? beats me though that was So long ago.. I was also just listening to a Lot of Nickleback-esk music at the time, which may have been an influencing factor lmao

2. Appearance Virgil's appearance is pretty simple to explain, all told! He's a Country Boy/Girl, rowdy and ostentatious, and very secure in her understanding of that part of herself. It's where she comes from, and despite his rocky relationship with home it's who he is, y'know? The brightest (and most dangerous) mind in Toxicology doesn't Have to look exactly how you'd Expect her to look now does she? (Virgil pictured here on the Right)

Now our wonderful little Ulysses vwv)/ 1. Inspiration oh this is an Interesting one!! Ulysses (and Charlie, for that matter) came from 2 distinct places to land where they are now.. From time to time I like to entertain the idea of starting a band and having a musical career of some kind, something that blends my love of folk/bluegrass, prog-rock, and power metal into a loud villainous and exhilarating sound. and a few years back, as I was getting into Bluegrass for the first time, I was struck by a Concept for a Concept Album. It was called The Book of Brother UIysses; the story of a sniveling little priest in the frontier days and his Cursed Book, following him around as he fed townsfolk to whatever entity lived in its pages until he was finally Consumed himself. I toyed with it for a bit and eventually put it back on the shelf until the Musical Fancy struck me once more, untiiiiil I was listening to friends at the table: sangfielle and had both a deep desire to do a Horror-Fantasy Western ttrpg And satisfy my ever-present desire to weasel my way into playing two characters at once.. and I pulled ol' Ulysses off the shelf again and made some.. Additions. This has evolved now into them being just like.. free floating OC's? I don't plan on making a comic out of them, I would Still love an opportunity to play them in a TTRPG setting, but I'm not Banking on it, and hey, who knows, maybe I Will make that album someday, but for now they just kinda amorphously Exist within Something resembling a Narrative in my head after a long and complicated journey...

2. Appearance Similar to Lazarus, I wanted Ulysses to be unsettling, but in a Slightly different way. He's too clean- his all black outfit is never grimy, he is clean shaven his hair perfectly quaffed, with that plastered on grin, under eyes obscured by reflective glasses the vibes are just Immediately Off. To the flip side of that I always wanted him to look kinda.. pathetic. When we see him outside of his Persona as The Keeper of the Book, as just a man that is still Human in many ways; he's just.. small, waifish, behind the glasses his eyes are big and jittery, like a pray animal caught in a snare and still trying to fight its way out..

#monster noises #meat husband #dirtbag super genius #the book of brother ulysses #okay so I Lied #All told there are 5 characters in the #'Bartholomew's Nasty Little Bastard's'#club...#but I got tired and these three Are like.. the Main three #and the three I think people may actually recognize and care about #the other two #for those curious #are Idris #(the golden robot who runs a smuggling empire from the same story as Virgil)#and Montgomery (my Renn Faire costume character -#originally excluded because he's both a character and a persona and sometimes that makes me feel weird about including him in group stuff)#but if you take the time to read this and you Do wanna know that stuff for these two I will gladly hop on tomorrow sometime and add them!#explaining my design process for characters is such a Trial though oh my God #because my process is so.. not on purpose?#if that makes sense?#nine times out of ten these motherfuckers appear in my head fully assembled and I just have to go 'Okay!!!' and get on with it #Sometimes I gotta do a bit of work #like Lazarus went through a few iterations before we landed on the pinstripe vest and pants combo #but the core of the outfit and the Intent of the whole thing was always the same #and I Did have to change Virgil over from a Anthro Coyote to a human and That took a few passes to get right #but I don't feel like there's any.. Why to that #at nothing I can place in words #she ended up looking like that because that's how she's supposed to look!#what else do you want from me!!!!

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amtrak12 · 1 year ago

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Thinking about this post about the mainstreamification of fandom and it was both too relatable and got me thinking about the early days of fandom going 'mainstream'.

I'd argue Community was one of the earliest fandoms to really become -- if not mainstream, then at least highly visible as the show was still airing. But it was so so different to what's happening now.

I think the main difference, other than it was 2010 and again one of the first fandoms to hit mainstream, is that no one treated what the writers said as the gospel truth. Fans and the showrunner/writers were in a two-way conversation with each other, and usually the format of that conversation was "No but...." It was a mutual rejection, while still inspiring a cult level of adulation from fandom. Because Community writers engaging with fandom was just another fourth wall broken, another genre parody in a show chock full of them. The writers didn't purposefully spite the fans (only the haters). They didn't shift to bashing a character because the wrong people loved them the wrong amount. They didn't stuff plot points down the garbage disposal because fans understood how to read foreshadowing. (Of course, Community was a sitcom that didn't have long term plot points to foreshadow, but still.) At most, the writers lovingly mocked the fans ala spoofing the Jeff/Annie S1 Gravity fanvid with their own Gravity edited montages in a canon episode -- which in turn only spawned more Gravity spoof fan vids by fandom. It was a mutual mocking the way siblings poke at each other.

And vice versa, no one in fandom cared whether the writers would ever make Jeff/Annie (or any ship) canon. If the writers couldn't see it, that was their problem! The fans could see it! And wrote a shit ton of fic about it. That was the point. Most people didn't even get upset when Dan Harmon and company claimed the Jeff/Annie shippers were all teenage girls shipping themselves with Jeff. We just busted up laughing because MOST of the fandom was 30+ year old women. Me at 22 was on the younger end. And sure, most of them did want to date Jeff themselves, but lbr being attracted to a fictional character is 90% of shipping. (And some people like myself were subconsciously shipping themselves with Annie because Alison Brie is absurdly hot.)

IDK what my point is here. I guess just that I was there at the beginning of fandom going mainstream and it's hard to regret that exact moment in time because it was fun! And rewarding! And spawned so so many creative works and discussions just like fandom is supposed to do.

But my god is it depressing that it ended up rotting fandom from the inside out. To the point that I try and say a S4 plot point is connected to S6 in a recent show when there's absolutely nothing to contradict this in canon -- and immediately get someone 'well actually'-ing me about what writers said their intentions for those plot points were in interviews and how that meant I was wrong. And it's not even because that fan preferred the writers' interpretation! They hate it actually! But they're so convinced that what a showrunner says is the absolute, irrefutable truth that they refuse to analyze the show for themselves and draw their own conclusions. Oh they'll complain about it all day long, sure. But engage with the narrative on a structural or meta level? Literally beyond them, and I can't wrap my head around that at all.

Fandom is not bound by writer intentions and never has been. Fandom isn't even bound by canon!!! Why the FUCK would writer intentions that can only be found in outside interviews be binding? Why would you slap shackles on yourself and then get mad that the chains cut into your wrists? Babe, look at me! No chains! I am free and happy not giving a fuck about what a show runner said! So why do you think I'm a problem that needs to be solved instead of your new life goal? Join me over here in headcanon land! Please!

#my meta #fandom history #some ranting #idek anymore

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sighmaster3000 · 6 months ago

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when i think about what social media was to me as a fairly antisocial teenager i realize we might all be headed in that direction if people are really serious about getting rid of it after tiktok gets banned. when i was younger i was obsessed with facebook because i really wanted to play farmville, but my parents wouldn't let me make one (thank fuck). so deviantart was my first social media lmao. then probably tumblr, and oh youtube of course but i don't really count that. funnily enough i never actually got on vine (i think it got deleted before i was allowed to have a phone lol my parents were stricter with that than other kids').

anyway though, i didn't ever use social media to socialize with people i knew except for my two weird artsy friends who introduced deviantart to me. besides them it was all about talking to random strangers. admittedly pretty dangerous for a preteen but i came out of it relatively unscathed.

eventually of course i got on snapchat, then instagram, and one day finally created a facebook though by that point it had long lost its "cool" factor. and the focus shifted. as deviantart's enshittification ramped up and the internet coagulated into like six or seven websites, my social media use turned to keeping in touch with my family and classmates. again, i was socially awkward and pretty introverted so this felt nice to me, it allowed me to be social with my classmates without actually talking to them...

so those sites-then-apps were mainstays in my life, from morning to night, as i woke up, as i ate, when i needed to do something with my hands. as i look back on my memories of using these apps, i can see how each became distorted over time as it was sold off to the highest bidder and reconfigured constantly to mimic each other more and more. not to mention the increasing hostility and division online overall around 2016...

so eventually we made it to like 2020 and by this point social media is a significant part of, like, most people's lives, as far as i can tell. even my grandparents who said the internet was a fad are on facebook every day, which has not been good for them i might add. and tiktok has picked up a lot of momentum through covid. i think it helped a lot of people to have something totally mindless and easy that you could just scroll through infinitely.

i like tiktok. i like how creator-driven it is compared to other platforms, i like how easy it is for people to break out. i've been on it since like, 2019? i wasn't exactly an early adopter but i got there i think before the bulk of american users did.

over time it went from just mindless to an extremely efficient way to propagate information and stay informed. obviously misinformation is a problem all over the internet, no thanks to any of the companies or products mentioned here, but with tiktok you could see the real face of a real person telling you about something that was really happening with real emotion and conviction in your voice, and usually when you would fact-check it'd be true. tiktok was my MAIN source of information during the summer of 2020 as extreme police violence swept metro areas all over the country.

and since then, facebook (now meta, ugh) and twitter (now x, ugh) became less and less reliable for real information and more so for completely made-up shit and conspiratorial nonsense. i mean by 2021 i hadn't used facebook for years and i still hardly posted on ig. but i had actually gotten into twitter! it was kind of like tiktok in that its algo was pretty good at showing you what you wanted to see, but in text form. it's funny but i think tiktok got me into twitter because i wanted to read slightly more as i perused mindless bullshit.

keep in mind that i'm not trying to discount the utility of these apps for keeping up with the news. it's just that i mostly used it for mindless bullshit.

but then apartheid clyde bought twitter and it all went to the shitter. after that was the swift and moronic destruction of one of the most successful websites in the world. what's-his-ass turned it into a mouthpiece for him and the other alt-right pigs who control our lives now. so i started using it just to look at porn and eventually using the site felt too disgusting in and of itself to do even that. boom deleted.

it didn't leave a hole or anything. but it left an impression. and tiktok filled it and even deepened it with its otherworldly, creepily-accurate algo and a community of hilarious, sincere, talented, gorgeous people. but because the government of this horrible country have decided that only american companies should be allowed to scalp users' data, that's all going away.

so where do we go? well, i'm here again. i've also been big into youtube again lately. and bluesky is still kind of boring but it has a bit of promise and a lot of potential. and if x and meta apps have this mass exodus that people are talking about then they might all see a spike in users. but even if that happens whether or not they stay will remain to be seen.

and this is the thing: the companies that own the apps that we use to communicate and keep in touch with people we know, the apps that were built for that; facebook, instagram, whatsapp, and twitter, nee "the world's public square;" are being turned into propaganda machines for our incoming authoritarian regime, and the rest of the government is too happy to strip our access to an app that over half of americans use and enjoy and benefit from. small business owners all over the country are going to take a huge hit. i'm not the biggest sucker for capitalism but this whole "getting rid of the one successful foreign company so our own can dominate" doesn't feel very free-market to me, and destroying a prolific avenue for discourse and information-sharing doesn't read as very free-speech.

but i digress. my point is, the only app i think i might end up using to keep in touch with my real-life friends is fucking snapchat. that and maybe calling them on the phone like in the olden days.

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sunshine304 · 1 year ago

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For the fandom asks, 3,4,19, or 20?

Oh I'll just answer all of them. XD

3. a character that fandom has helped you appreciate

Hm, I think Yu Ziyuan gained much more depth for me through reading meta about her/the family dynamics and genre conventions behind it. She’s a divisive character for sure, but I never saw her as extremely negative as some other fans seem to have. She always seemed like a commentary on the tiger mom stereotype to me, and I couldn’t help but also at times think she’s kinda justified in her bitchiness? Because Jiang Fengmian is like that… But yeah, her character definitely became more interesting and tragic to me through fandom.

None of the others needed any help, I think, I could appreciate all of them for what they brought to the story (I mean, except for Jin Guangshan, no-one appreciate shim and he can go die in a ditch).

4. say something nice about a ship you don't ship (it can be another ship in your fandom, a mutual's OTP, etc)

Sparrabeth. I very much refused to engage with this ship back in my PotC days because the shipping wars between Willabeth and Sparrabeth shippers became incredibly obnoxious after the second movie. As I really enjoyed Willabeth and was more of a Jack/Anamaria shipper (if we have to pair him with anyone… that was before I discovered slash XD), I did not like Sparrabeth at all.

I can see the appeal, though! Elizabeth became ever more of a pirate as the movies progressed, showing a side of herself that had mostly been suppressed in her previous sheltered, prim and proper life. She obviously had a taste for adventure and overall seemed actually more suited for and interested in this kind of life than Will, who gets rather reluctantly dragged into it all again and again. To have her as a counterpoint to Jack, as someone who can hold her own against his scheming and word games and teasing, can be intriguing. They’ll banter, he can teach her all kinds of stuff about life on the high seas, and they’ll definitely be a force to be reckoned with.

19. your current fandom(s)

Since 2020, it’s The Untamed/MDZS – still going strong, with no sign of slowing down. I tend to fixate on one main fandom for quite a while and it really takes a lot to make me switch to something else. And still, the old ones never really leave me – I recently reread some Teen Wolf fic, last year had a bit of a Sherlock revival with selected rereads. Now and then, I revisit some old PotC favs etc.

But yeah, now it’s CQL/MDZS with a side of some other cdramas/thai dramas like KinnPorsche or Word of Honor. It feels like the fandom is slowing down a bit as people move on to other dramas, but I’m still very much in love with it.

20. your very first fandom!

That depends a bit on how you’d define this. The first thing I was totally obsessed with was The Animals of Farthing Wood, a truly great animated tv series based on Colin Dann’s book(s). I drew so many fox pictures for that series, had a whole bunch of OC foxes and invented new stories with them (yes, only the foxes! XD). Of course, I was somewhere between 7 – 10 years old at the time and had no idea what “fandom” was!

I think I became aware of fandom as we know it when I looked for content for LotR online. I discovered message boards that were full of fans of the book and recently released movies.

The first fandom I was actually in, with the full awareness of it being a fandom, was Pirates of the Caribbean. That trilogy was incredibly important to me for many years and I’ve met a few friends through it that I’m still in contact with to this day. <3

I actually was asked this for a meme on Dreamwidth, so check out this post for a bit more on this topic.

Fandom question meme

#ask games #asks #my posts #fandom

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thefirstknife · 2 years ago

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It's starting to feel like there's an implicit understanding in the community that complaining about the game is one of the main ways to engage with it, and maybe is something newer players pick up as part of the 'haha even diehard destiny players hate destiny' narrative. =\

Im happy to see the playerbase growing, but dang, I wish there'd be a bit less of 'if you love this thing you'll be passionate about criticizing it' among some of the big personalities

Yeah. Destiny always had that whole joke like "The one thing Destiny players hate the most is Destiny." I never understood it. When I mildly disliked Destiny, I stopped playing. Genuinely cannnot fathom playing a game religiously while hating it. Mindboggling. I'm also somewhat salty that a lot of people "criticising the story" and latching onto this whole vibe have never actually been fans of the story or have never really paid attention to it.

Like, it feels somewhat strange to me that suddenly every single content creator, including those that were openly NEVER into the lore and even content creators who literally only play pvp and those that openly play with voicelines and subtitles off, are suddenly great experts on how this story apparently sucks. And of course followed by a million of their fans who have until yesterday only ever cared about meta weapons for Trials, but have overnight become lore masters who understand that the story was "bad."

I know people who ARE into lore and who had issues. I also know that there's a lot of new players who were probably utterly confused, though that's to be expected when you tune into the 9th year of the franchise. I'm totally fine with that and respect people who have a different view of the campaign and how it felt to them. And of course if any new players are super confused and have no idea where to start learning more... I sympathise. Greatly. And I'm happy to help! Obviously a lot of what people are discussing right now is really complicated and draws from super specific lore that might not be easy for a new player to understand right away. It will take some time and that's okay!

But when I see the amount of people blasting the story, I'm left thinking... Really? There were so many lore enjoyers out there all this time? You're telling me that twitter user xxTrialsHunterMain69420xx understands the problems with the narrative and can talk with authority on obscure lore references and how Bungie fucked them up? This is absolutely news to me, as most players have been dissing the story for years and if they weren't dissing, they just weren't engaging with it at all.

Obviously every player has a right to say how they felt playing and how they vibed with the campaign and if they didn't vibe with it, that's fine. They didn't vibe with a lot of campaigns that I would die for, like for example Shadowkeep. But there's a distinct feeling like a lot of these people are just latching onto the hate train for no real justifiable reason of their own. Like, it's popular to shit on the campaign now and people will do it to fit in, even if they personally have never ever had any stakes in what Destiny's story is about.

They've been given not only permission, but encouragement to blast the campaign over something they barely understand and something that a lot of people reacted to out of their basic impulses. And I get it because my basic impulse was negative too. I feel like maybe a huge personality who influences the entire community shouldn't post the first thought that comes to their mind uncritically to social media. Or at least that they should feel like they can change their mind and correct that later. I feel like a lot of them would never do that now because it would mean alienating their audience. "Oh yeah I told you all that this sucks, but actually no it doesn't, just listen." Yeah, not going to happen. Not to mention that outrage brings clicks.

And of course, now the whole discourse has been completely ruined by the outrage so it's incredibly hard to find and filter who actually has decent feedback and who is just riding the hate train. Frustrating and draining.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #lightfall #lightfall spoilers #ask

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ingravinoveritas · 3 years ago

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I mean no disrespect, but I wonder if you realise that probably all the main plot points of Staged are scripted? Including acting cues like David and Michael touching, comforting, asking who is the big spoon etc. “Georgia says we’re like a married couple” doesn’t actually mean Georgia said it, it means Simon Evans wrote this line for David.

I see in your profile that you’re on the spectrum, and I am not sure if that’s one of the reasons it’s hard for you to discern the difference maybe? (Again, no intended disrespect. Please take this as a well meaning message from a well wisher. My brother is on the spectrum and he has a tendency to do this). The show is so meta at this point, it’s understandable if it felt confusing and hopeful maybe.

But we have to keep in mind that they’re simply actors with amazing chemistry, and the entire show dynamic is playing on that. In reality, their friendship may be very different to how it is portrayed. Not to mention, the romantic components are just for show. They can play so much on it mainly because David and Michael are both men in committed heterosexual relationships. This is not coming from a homophobic place either, considering (like the rest of tumblr) I definitely ship Aziraphale and Crowley romantically. But the actors themselves, well, I don’t think it’s healthy to go there?

Anyway sorry this was very long. Please take care of yourself.

Hello, Anon.

There are a lot of things I’d like to say in response to this. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the concept of “benevolent ableism.” I’d like to explain it, but first it might help if I give an example of malevolent ableism.

Four years ago, I was interviewed for a movie about the first person ever officially diagnosed with autism, which is based on the best-selling book of the same name. The movie is set to premiere nationally in the U.S. on PBS next week, and they’ve begun doing promotion on social media ahead of it. In the post PBS made on Facebook the other day, someone left a comment calling autistic people “feeble-minded vermin” and insisted on the “complete and total extermination” of autistic people “on a global basis.”

This is something that we would immediately recognize as ableism. It’s hateful, it’s angry, and it calls for actual genocide against autistic people. Because in this world, this is the mentality that some people actually have toward people on the spectrum--that we are different, less, inferior. “Other.” And they are making their feelings about that difference very clear, and in no uncertain terms. Of course, this is an extreme example, and not necessarily something most of us are likely to encounter in our day to day lives.

Which, then, is where “benevolent ableism” comes into the picture. What this term tends to refer to is when neurotypical people speak or behave in ways that are hurtful and demeaning to autistic/neurodivergent people while under the pretense of being “helpful,” “kind,” or even “well-meaning.”

It’s things like telling someone “Oh, you’re too pretty to be autistic.” It’s deciding a place/situation is “too much” for an autistic person and convincing them to leave because you think you know “what’s best” for them. And in this case, it’s assuming that I must not know the difference between fiction and reality because of my autism and writing in to tell me that I am “wrong” about Staged because of it.

The common thread in all of these is something called “infantilization.” This happens when autistic adults are treated as children in big bodies and believed to not have the capacity to understand things solely on the basis of being autistic--regardless of chronological age, developmental level, or any other factors.

This is what I feel you have done here, Anon. You are talking down to me, but I am not a teenager, and I’m certainly not a child. I’m an adult woman, and if you’d spent more than five minutes on my blog, you would know that I have shipped Michael and David since 2019, long before Staged was even close to being a thing. My reasons for shipping them have nothing to do with the show or a script...but I get the sense that that doesn’t make much of a difference to you.

Because I’ve gotten plenty of hater Anons due to shipping Michael and David in the past, but this? This is by far the worst. I would rather get Anons calling me the R-word or any other of the many names I’ve been called, because at least I know where they stand. But when you use the words “well meaning” and “no disrespect” and then proceed to talk to me the way you have here...I am truly at a loss.

There are so many things I could tell you. I could tell you that I have a Masters degree. I could tell you I’ve spoken at the United Nations twice. I could tell you I’ve given a TED talk. I could tell you that I completely and wholeheartedly disagree with nearly everything you’ve said about Staged and Michael/David’s dynamic and what was scripted, and provide multiple examples and thought-out, compelling arguments explaining my rationale.

But none of it would matter, because you took one look at my blog and all you saw was “autism.”

Not me. Not Amy. Just “autism,” and everything you believe that means. And in doing so, you have insulted not only my intelligence, but my humanity.

Yet I’m supposed to believe you “mean no disrespect” (I think you did) and that you are not homophobic (I think you are). Or at least biphobic, because even though Michael and David are in straight-passing relationships, it does not automatically mean they are straight.

(Nor does it mean that is the reason they felt comfortable playing up the romantic elements of Staged 3, an argument that absolutely makes no sense to me because--and you would also know this if you’d read my blog--the last thing I think Michael or David would ever do is queer-bait or specifically play something like that as a joke.)

If only one thing comes out of me answering your Anon, I hope it’s this: I am in a place of confidence now. I know who I am. But I also know that if another autistic or ND person had gotten this message, it could have destroyed them. Your words are the words we’ve heard before--from parents, from teachers, even lovers--and they are no less dehumanizing as we get older.

I know that I don’t know you, or your brother, Anon. But if I got this feeling from your attitude, I can almost guarantee that he has gotten it, too, and that it has affected the way he sees himself. He may not say it to you, may not express it, but the things you say and the way they make him feel live in a place deep inside, and that is something that never fully goes away.

So I hope you will take this as an opportunity. An opportunity to learn, and to do better. Because I deserve more than to be seen as the sum of my limitations. I deserve to be seen as Amy, as the woman I am, of whom part, but not all, is being autistic.

I deserve better than this. And so do all autistic people.

#anonymous #reply post #i can't even with this nonsense #and this was me trying to keep my response short #this almost makes me want to not even bother writing my Staged 3 review #because apparently no matter what I say I'm wrong. because autism.#i mean what can i possibly say #i'm feeling a lot of feelings #personal post #autism #discourse

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bananonbinary · 4 years ago

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Time for a Salty Meta Post about Martin!

people who’ve followed this blog for a bit know that spending six hours combing through text for some goddamn sources is my specialty, so i compiled every time jon ever talked about martin’s work in season 1. which for the record, he stopped complaining about all the way back in episode 26, where he was angry that martin of all people got hurt.

things jon gets mad at martin for:

not being able to find records that don’t exist

not being able to find someone based only on a first name

the Dog

not wearing trousers in his off-hours

being the one that got caught up in the jane prentiss thing

mag 004 and mag 012 both have jon taking potshots at martin over research that was proven accurate by outside sources

things jon has never once complained about:

martin not understanding the filing system and just putting stuff away at random

martin being clumsy, constantly ruining things, spilling tea everywhere everyday, etc

martin turning in incompetent, poorly-edited, or badly formatted reports

martin not understanding the terminology used, skills expected, etc., and generally being extremely new to the field

please for the love of god stop making martin the silly bumbling idiot who can’t do anything right just because he doesn’t have a formal education. there’s zero evidence for it in the text, and it’s really weird to act like a 4 year degree would outweigh the *10 years* of job experience he has, not just in academia, but in the institute itself by season one. my boy has worked there longer than ANY of the rest of the main cast. screw you guys.

tl;dr: martin is never once shown to be bad at his job, jon pretty much only ever gets mad at him for the really stupid first impression and also not finding stuff that no one else was able to find either. after martin got hurt, jon talks about his research basically the same way he talks about tim’s or sasha’s work.

fucking proof under the cut:

(i didnt include the s1 finale or martin’s statement bc that’s just...two entire episodes of them talking to each other, but there isn’t really any notable Martin Complaints in either of them imo)

I swear, if he’s brought another dog in here, I’m going to peel him.

[pre-launch trailer]

Well, technically three, but I don’t count Martin as he’s unlikely to contribute anything but delays.

[...] Alongside this Tim, Sasha and, yes, I suppose, Martin will be doing some supplementary investigation to see what details may be missing from what we have.

[MAG001 Anglerfish]

Martin couldn’t find any records of Ex Altiora as a title in existent catalogues of esoteric or similar literature, so I assigned Sasha to double-check. Still nothing.

[MAG004 Pageturner]

I had Martin conduct a follow-up interview with Mr. Woodward last week, but it was unenlightening. Apparently there have been no further bags at number 93 and in the intervening years he has largely discounted many of the stranger aspects of his experience. I wasn’t expecting much, as time generally makes people inclined to forget what they would rather not believe, but at least it got Martin out of the Institute for an afternoon, which is always a welcome relief.

[MAG005 Thrown Away]

Martin was unable to find the exact date the original house was built but the earliest records he could find list it as being bought by Walter Fielding in 1891.

[...]

We cannot prove any connection, but Martin unearthed a report on an Agnes Montague, who was found dead in her Sheffield flat on the evening of November 23rd 2006, the same day Mr. Lensik claims to have uprooted the tree.

[MAG008 Burned Out]

According to Martin, who was here when they took this statement, it was at this point in writing that Mr. Herbert announced he needed some sleep before continuing. He was shown to the break room where he went to sleep on the couch. He did not awaken; unfortunately succumbing to the lung cancer right there. Martin says the staff had been aware of how serious Mr. Herbert’s condition was, and had advised him to seek medical aid prior to giving his statement, but were told rather bluntly by the old man that he would not wait another second to state his case. I can’t decide whether this lends more or less credibility to his tale.

[MAG010 Vampire Killer]

“Veepalach” might also be a mishearing of the Polish word “wypalać”, according to Martin, which means to cauterize or brand. Admittedly, if Martin speaks Polish in the same way he “speaks Latin,” then he might be talking nonsense again, but I’ve looked it up and it appears to check out.

[MAG012 First Aid]

I sent Martin to look into this ‘Angela’ character - not that I want him to get chopped up, of course, but someone had to. Apparently, he spent three days looking into every woman named Angela in Bexley over the age of 50. He could not find anyone that matches the admittedly vague description given here, though he informs me that he had some very pleasant chats about jigsaws. Useless ass.

[MAG014 Piecemeal]

Martin declined to help with this investigation as he’s “a bit claustrophobic”

[MAG015 Lost John’s Cave]

There simply aren’t enough details given in this statement to actually investigate, short of Martin confirming that Mr. Vittery did indeed live at the addresses he provided.

[MAG016 Arachnophobia]

Oh, he’s off sick this week. Stomach problems, I think.

Blessed relief if you ask me.

[...]

I asked Martin to try and hunt down Mr. Adekoya himself for a follow-up, but have been informed that he passed away in 2006.

[MAG017 The Boneturner’s Tale]

MARTIN

Well, I need to tell someone what happened, and you can vouch for the soundness of my mind, can’t you?

ARCHIVIST

…

That is beside the point.

[MAG022 Colony]

Martin! Good lord man, if you’re going to be staying in the Archives, at least have the decency to put some trousers on!

[MAG023 Schwartzwald]

Martin found one other thing while combing through police reports for the Hither Green area. About a month after this statement was given, on May 15th, 2015, police were called out to once again investigate the chapel.

[MAG025 Growing Dark]

I know, but it would have to have been Martin, wouldn’t it? I mean, anything goes wrong around here, it always seems to happen to him. Anyway, we’re getting off topic. Why didn’t you report this?

[MAG026 A Distortion]

Martin made contact with the son, Marcus McKenzie, but he declined to talk to us, saying that he’d “already made his statement.”

[MAG027 A Sturdy Lock]

Tim and Martin had a bit more luck investigating Tom Haan, though only really enough to confirm that he seems to have completely vanished following his departure from Aver Meats on the 12th of July.

[MAG030 Killing Floor]

Martin’s research would seem to indicate the place employed a reasonable number of international staff they preferred to keep off the books

[...]

TIM

Ah well, that’s actually what he was asking, huh! Um, apparently Martin, uh, took delivery of a couple of items last week addressed to you. Did he not mention it?

ARCHIVIST

No, he… Oh, yes, actually. I completely forgot. He said he put it in my desk drawer, hold on.

[MAG036 Taken Ill]

#the magnus archives #LISTEN #i am once again asking people to remember that martin has MORE job experience at the institute than literally any other character #(except elias or i guess maybe rosie)#he's the goddamn veteran not the newbie #fan wank /

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burnedbyshoto · 5 years ago

Text

hawks_littledove.mp3

— You’re an avid listener to NSFW ASMR artist Hawks. It’s just your luck that he’s offered to have phone sex with you.

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pairing: takami keigo (hawks) x fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+, slight abuse of power/influence, phone sex, masturbation, degradation, praise, nsfw asmr artist!hawks

word count: 5,018

a/n: my keyboard is broken and i could actually cry. but hey, hawks do be sexy even tho I would never trust him with my life. also LOL this might be a call out to a lot of us, do not be offended or I will cry.

kinktober day 14 main kink: phone sex | kinktober masterlist

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Fantasizing about being in relationships with fictional characters was entirely healthy and normal.

That was something you believed to the core. It was fictional; thus, no one but you were to be hurt at the end of the day. The character, being fake, could never have an opinion because you must be real in order to have an opinion. So when you were between boyfriends, you discovered a new anime, and before you could stop yourself, you fell hard for a character.

It started as a mild obsession.

You had looked up fanart via google images, your heart warming when you saw the plethora of different fanart. The anime itself had been in circulation for a few years now, the manga for much longer, so the content was endless. Then google images wasn’t enough, and you began crossing into Twitter and Tumblr.

The fanart became better, more engrossing, and definitely much more NSFW. And then, one night during your endless rabbit hole down Tumblr after your daily search on Twitter, you stilled when seeing a new type of content.

⇒ grey fullbuster x reader

The obsession grew worse.

So much so that you had followed nearly five hundred self insert writers and artists on Tumblr, and maybe seven hundred artists, meta writers, and thread makers on twitter. But three months into consuming all the content you could find, you came across a new name that made you tilt your head.

Hawks Fierce Wings

It was a name that was being repeated and heavily talked about on both sites. It was an ASMR artist, apparently, and you frowned at the thought. You didn’t have anything against ASMR videos, but you weren’t exactly sure how to handle an anime ASMR artist. Were they cosplaying while making all those weird ASMR sounds? You really didn’t have any idea, but due to the immense boredom of your lazy day in, you decided to hell with it and tried out his most popular video.

It was simply entitled: Hawks is Jealous.

Did you have any idea as to who Hawks was? God, no, you didn’t. But if it was just some random cosplay he was going to do, you didn’t think it was going to matter. So as the only slightly educated ASMR listener, you never truly became invested when it was a thing; you slipped on your earbuds and pressed play.

The introduction screen faded into an illustrated picture of a slightly handsome man, and some calming yet tense music played in the background. You shifted, eyebrows drew as you waited for the ASMR session to begin, and when it did, you were not ready.

“I saw you walking around with that asshole today,” a voice practically growled in your ear, and you froze.

Oh, no.

Oh, no!

For almost an entire hour, you sat glued to your sofa, your fingers digging into your lap as the jealous, spiteful words of this man named Hawks poured bitterly in your ear. His words were a near aggravated assault on you and definitely something you were beyond uncomfortable hearing from a stranger, but there was something about his voice that kept you there. Maybe it was the tenor of his tone or the way there was this sly, cunning scent to his words that he seemed to hide deep within his throat, but there was something that kept you there.

The second the passionate, heated kissing noises and heavy moans began to spill from his lips, you screeched, slamming your laptop closed as your cheeks pounded heavily.

Oh my god?!

It took a bit, but eventually, you were able to finish the audio and quickly figured out why he was an NSFW artist. You had never, ever heard a man eat a pussy fake or real as eagerly or vigorously as he did. Your hands were gripping the pants of your leggings, and your chest heaved.

Oh, motherfucking shit.

Finding out there were almost seventy other videos for you to still experience sent you scrambling for more, and eventually, you had to confess you were obsessed. Despite the anime fandoms you had discovered him for, Hawks seemed to be more famous for the content he created as himself. His real name was unknown by the looks of it, and he was only addressed as Hawks by his audience, something you caught on to quickly. So only after creating a new profile for his Youtube account, you made quick work of liking and commenting on every single of his already published seventy-eight nearly one hour and thirty-minute videos.

Each one was different.

Each one filled with various roadmaps on how Hawks' scenarios would play out for you — the listener. When he used his own persona, he called the listener his little dove or his chicken nugget, sometimes his KFC thigh, or his shish kabob.

You were glad at the very least he didn’t call you by any of those nicknames when pretending to fuck you at a speed only a “porn-is-my-only-education-on-porn” virgin teenage boy. You knew it wasn’t ideal, usually, but for some reason, it just worked. You commented on everything, read his summaries and thoughts on each video. Eventually, when you found yourself on his final, most recent video, you were ready to go a step further.

The Patreon app on your phone seemed jarringly out of place as you opened the app and subscribed yourself to Hawks' highest tiered option for the price of twenty USD.

And when you got your access to his page, you were immersed in more heavier, better content.

It was a goldmine in a sea of fools gold, and you absolutely went insane.

You weren’t sure if you were insane, needy, or just straight-up idiotic for scrolling to the very first Patreon post and indulging in the content Hawks created.

There was a stark difference between the warnings alone between the Youtube videos and the Patreon posts. While the porn was readily accessible on Youtube, the kinkiest thing that ever happened in a video was a slight implication that Hawks had left the listener on a vibrator and fuckmachine as he went to go talk to the visiting neighbors.

It was a slight, tiny zone out and miss a detail, but one you had clung onto like an obsessed psycho and even commented on in your comment on the post. Of course, Hawks hadn’t responded, not that you had ever expected him to because all things considered, a video that was eight months old and hadn’t done that well, to begin with, didn’t seem like anything he would remember: notifications and all.

But Patreon? Oh good, sweet, ravishing Patreon.

The very first video was of the following:

Stepbrother!Hawks fucks Stepsister!Listener in the stairwell during Christmas Dinner.

After praying and swearing to all the deities of the world that you were merely a person with a voice kink for this man and not, in fact, a perverted pseudo-incest worshiper, you clicked on it and began. It was downright sinful.

There were active voices whispered in the background as Hawks laughed about how fucking slutty you were for letting your brother fuck you like this. In the hallway, like a dog, where anyone in your joint family could walk out into. He laughed that you probably wanted it, how your wet ass pussy was greedily sucking him in, so how could you even begin to deny your lust for your brother.

You had to take a break five times during that audio.

Eventually, you do end up catching up.

Each video he had ever posted to your disposal, and most likely due to the different tier levels, you always commented on the videos. Even if it made you feel awkward for lusting over things months old, even if there were no other comments on the videos, which was much more common than you thought, you always commented and liked. It wasn’t anything ever crazy, you had seen the rarest comments bring a whole essay of analysis on why they loved it or the hating words, but you kept it simple.

Just something to keep Hawks spirits high without draining you even further of energy.

A simple: holy shit, that was hot as fucking hell!!!! you never disappoint me!!!

You never expected anything out of it; as a matter of fact, you had merely thought that you were doing the least by merely appreciating his creations when, one night, a few hours after you had gotten home. Your phone chimed with an alert.

Your mouth formed an ‘o’ in surprise; you hadn’t realized there was going to be a new release after he had just updated four days ago. Still, you popped in your earbuds and began the audio with a simple title.

i fuk ur stupid lil pus until u cri

He wasn’t precisely putting much effort into his titles these days, but his tags were definitely accurate and entirely explicit in what was to come. And in this newest video, the prominent tag was degradation.

You weren’t entirely into degradation, but still, you did what you had to do because you weren’t turned off by it. With the beginning sounds of the music playing in the background, you warped into the situation Hawks carefully carved.

But, oh?

Your face simmered with heat as Hawks dirty words dripped from the earbuds, the wet, squelching noise of your cunt and throat being fucked like some inanimate object made you soak through your panties as his disparaging words burned against your spine like a hot brand. After the thirty-minute audio was finished. Your body trembling with the aftershocks of an orgasm that had come despite the lack of actual stimulation of your clit, and you panted on your bed.

Opening your phone once again, you quickly liked the new audio and typed out your comment.

listen, i know i always comment about how fucking hot this shit is, but i have /never/ fucking soaked through my panties… you just did that and i expect a full refund for these panties 💦

You pressed send and, without so much of a second thought, continued your night. You had dinner, talked with friends, and ended the night curled back on the couch with a wine glass in your hand and a simple sit-com playing on the TV. The familiar sound of the Patreon alert rang in your ear, and you frowned, confused.

Grabbing your phone, you opened up the device and nearly shrieked at the sight of the information the notification that said:

Hawks F.W.: lets see those panties before i refund anything

A chill ran down your spine as you quickly put together the indications of this message, and you smirked, despite your quivering hands.

Me: I have a seven inch dick requirement before seeing any of the goods — yes, that includes my panties

And from that very moment, you began a strange arrangement between you and the NSFW ASMR artist Hawks.

Working was the worst part of your life, you would say.

At work, you would sit in your small 4x4 cubicle, your shelves stacked with plenty of papers and items you needed, not to mention the computer that took up the majority of your desk. You weren’t quite sure what your job here was, you sort of sat at your desk and did meaningless assignments when assigned, but you did nothing for the most part.

Before becoming an active Hawks stan, you would spend your time doing nothing playing video games. You had somehow managed to install a VPN onto your hard drive so that your employers wouldn’t be able to see what was on your screen outside of the home screen. They couldn’t trace what you did all day, but they could care less, given you got all your work completed on time and done in an over exceptional way.

But lately, since you had dropped into this… engrossed whore like relationship with Hawks, things changed.

To be honest, it still shocks you to no end when he tells you that he had always been aware of you. Well, with your consistent, ever appearing comments on his posts and overall enthusiasm for everything he posted, it was hard to not be aware. The mental image of your soaked through panties after a long day at his own work had sent him over the edge, and he finally messaged you.

Through the DM’s in Patreon, the two of you grew to become quite the friends with benefits. He would send you countless personalized audio files because you had quickly confessed to your voice kink and how his voice sent your stomach into hormonal knots. In return, you’d send the picture of an occasional soaked panty, and if he was lucky, an audio clip of your pathetic whines back to his audios.

You couldn’t complain about this arrangement.

But as the number of his patrons doubled, and he wanted to entice his subscribers with paying him even more money, Hawks began to offer a bimonthly personalized five minute audios for his $20 tier. The fans poured into that spot, and Hawks and proudly sent you the new number of adoring fans he was getting. On account of growing platforms such as Tiktok, the number of new listeners he got was nearly exponential, as he currently passed one million followers last week.

The cheeky bastard was also making enough money to stop working his regular work hours anymore. Choosing to transition slowly into his Patreon career while recording.

Hawks, however, seemed to have other ideas for your eventual personalized voice audio.

Hawks had simply asked if, by any chance, you were going to be working tomorrow the night before. Groaning loudly in recognition of your work schedule, you had texted him back that you were going to be working. Snidely including the fact that you weren’t rich like him, you needed the tedious old nine to five job.

Hawks: how utterly boring anyway u can b free around 2?

Me: Eh… probably not. Busy girl w busy schedule, ill be back from lunch so no break Why?

Hawks: well, u knw tht uve been amzing & th bst follower so i wanted 2 give u smthing better then the personalized audio

Me: Oh? Well, what is it?’

Hawks: pick up tmrw n find out

He had changed the subject immediately afterward by dodging all of your questions with ease. So you dropped it, and the two of you resumed a night of flirting. But now, sitting in your small cubicle, your eyes flashing to the clock that read 1:57 p.m., sweat began to build on your palm.

You peered down to your phone as you waited for something, anything from Hawks to show up. The fucker was too cheeky, evasive, and quick for his own good. You felt like pouting as you glared at the phone, waiting for the screen to light up.

And you stilled when finally, at precisely 1:59 p.m., your phone gleamed with light. You couldn’t abandon your computer mouse quicker than you did as you grabbed your phone, unlocking it, and reading the message from Hawks.

Hawks: do u have earbuds?

Me: Yes?

Hawks: good put them on n pick up

The moment you had read the first message, you were already pulling out your earbuds, synching them up to your phone, and placing them into your ear. But your jaw dropped when, for the first time, the call feature highlighted onto the screen, the time immediately changing to that of 2:00 p.m. The decline or accept button had never looked as daunting as it did right now.

Despite the call trying to go through, you still saw his follow up.

Hawks: if u dont pick up u wont get shit

[Accept]

You felt your heart hammering in your chest as both fear, apprehension, and excitement boiled through your veins, the hammering blood pounding in your ears as you waited for some sort of noise on the opposite side of the line.

“Little dove?” Hawks' voices filled your ears, and despite yourself, you smiled softly. The naturalness of his voice sends warm thumps down your spine.

“Hi, Hawks,” you whisper breathlessly, your head already checking to make sure your neighboring cubicle mates didn’t try to look over the divisions to stare at you. For the most part, the office building was quiet except for the phone calls, the clanking of computer keys, and the monotonous music playing softly on the speaker's head.

“Whatcha doing?” he drawled, and you felt your skin heat up when you heard the all too familiar sound of his shoes hitting the top of his desk, the soft whine of his chair as he leaned back onto it. “Are you really at work?”

“What do you mean, am I really at work?” you squeaked, half horrified at the way the lazy, warm heat of lust was infiltrating your body at the sound of his voice, and the annoyance that he thought you had been lying? “Of course I am; it’s two p.m. on a Wednesday!”

“Ah, so little dove-chan is a raging pervert who engages in phone sex to bypass her long hours at work?” Hawks sighed his tone that of understanding and dismissal. You splutter. “You never fail to surprise me.”

“I do not do… that!” you stammer, your face feeling like hot cinders, your fingers and eyes double-checking to make sure that the audio was going to your earbuds and your earbuds only. You also couldn’t help the way your eyes swept around you, trying to make sure you hadn’t accidentally invited unwanted attention. “I said I was busy!”

“But, you picked up my call?”

“You said, or else!”

“Mmm, okay, I think I see,” Hawks tutted, and although you had never seen what you supposed to be his handsome face, you could imagine a lazy, toothy smirk on his face. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind using your little cubicle to talk you into fucking yourself good for me.”

Your jaw drops.

It hits the desk, and the muffled shriek of utter humiliation is only silenced because you bit onto your tongue like a rabid animal.

“Aw, you sound so excited for me already, little dove. I bet you want to know what I’m going to do to you, don’t you? I just know that I’m going to make you feel so... good…”

“Hawks!” you plea in a hushed whisper, your heart hammering where you sat frozen like a deer in headlights. Sure, you had definitely played his audios before to pass the time, but never before in your existence had you had actual phone sex. This was riskier than just listening to his audios; his audios always had a pattern, a way to escape from the madness of his voice when people were closer than you’d like. But this? No, there was no escape. “I’m at work! I c-can’t!”

“But, fuck, I want you so bad,” Hawks' voice dipped into a gravely tone, his voice just perfectly scratchy enough that your shoulders trembled in unspoken, untouched want. “I want to feel your cunt around my cock, baby, your pussy is so hot and I want to be the fucking lucky bastard that gets to fuck you through your bed.”

“O-Oh my god…”

“I’ve been thinking of what your tits look like,” Hawks continues on, his voice continuing in the style you liked the most. It was raw, heavy, and deep. No character impersonations, just him, pure Hawks. “I hope they bounce the way they do when I imagine you riding me. I want to see you moan when I kiss the underside of your tit, I want to see your face when you realize that you’re my girl, nobody's else's, but mine.”

Heat floods your panties at his words, your shallow breaths making him chuckle on the other end.

“You’d be so lucky to be just mine, wouldn’t you, little dove?” Hawks snaps, his voice demanding a response, and you heave.

You look around, no one is near, and you croak out: “I’d be so lucky.”

“Louder.”

“I’d be so lucky.”

“Mm, there we go,” Hawks laughs, and your ears prickle for any noise that may indicate that someone was listening in. “What? Are you getting nervous that your needy ass will be heard by your coworkers right now? Answer me.”

“Mhmm,” you hum loudly, your cunt pulsing with more incredible heat and your hands shaking with a slight fear of being caught.

“Aww, don’t worry, little dove. I’m sure your boss will understand that you’re my newest fucktoy and will let me continue. Maybe they’ll want to join in?”

You whimper softly, shifting in your seat at that thought. You didn’t really want your boss coming anywhere near you, he was old and gross for one, and nothing could take the place of this beautiful man's voice in your ear right now.

“Oh, was that a no? You don’t want other people fucking you, do you, y/n? I bet you only want to have my cock in your tight little pussy, bet you want to watch the way that greedy little thing sucks me in, begging for my seed. Would you want me to cum deep inside you? You would like that little dove; you’d like to be full of my cum.”

“H-Hawks,” you keen as quietly as you can, your hips shifting uncomfortably in your seat, your heart hammering in your throat. The pressing heat in your cunt is growing, your panties growing with wet slick as Hawks' voice whispers down your ear, filling every empty and void space in your brain until you were having trouble focusing on the very much public spot you were in.

Hawks let out a soft, guttural moan, and you froze, face entirely combusting into an inferno as the familiar slick slapping of his fapping cock filled your ear. Immediately, you forgot everything.

“A-Are you—?!” you splutter, unable to find the words or the energy to come up with a way to ask if he was masturbating right now. Your eyes spun, your mind in a complete haze as soft, raunchy moans spilled from his lips, striking against your nerves and soul with each successive sound.

“I’m only trying to help you out here, dove,” Hawks growled, undoubtedly in effect to a rather loud smack of his fist colliding with his thrusting hip. “You’re the little office slut who picked up a phone call to entice in phone sex. I bet you knew exactly what I was going to do, and your pathetic, needy whore self caved to my instructions.”

Your fingers curled into the armrest of your chair.

“I bet this makes your boring ass job tolerable, the perfect distraction to a shit job, then imagining a few minutes of fucking yourself against my hard cock.”

“That’s not true!”

“No?” Hawks laughed, not believing you any more than you did. “So you wouldn’t hate it if I showed up and fucked you into the wall of your cubicle? You wouldn’t mind if I claimed your sweet-smelling pussy against your desk for everyone to hear? I know you can scream like a bitch in heat. I know that pretty little cunt of yours would milk my cock dry. Oh, I just know you would look so fucking sexy with your back arched, eyes closed, and you begging for hours just to cum. You wouldn’t cum without my permission, right?”

You gasped, heart fluttering, hammering in your chest as you shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak.

“I need a verbal answer, little dove.”

The heat in your core was blistering, your thighs shaking with your unadulterated lust and need as you ground into the cushion of your chair. All logic and moral long gone as he snarled and moaned your name in your ear, the slick of his fapping cock echoing like a great bell in your ear. You wanted to hear him cum, wanted to listen to the pithering sound of his echoing moans as he spilled the contents of his balls onto his hand — and how you wished it was your womb.

“I won’t cum w-without your permission!” you whispered, your skin shivering with your fear of being caught.

“God, you sound like such a dirty fucking bitch. I bet your pussy is fucking soaked already. Bet you really want to run that slutty embarrassed finger against your clit but don’t want to be caught by your perverted coworkers,” Hawks hissed, his breaths turning into steady, heavy hot pants. You mewl softly, confirming his spoken thoughts, and he huffs out a laugh. “How many fingers do you normally shove up that pretty cunt of yours, little dove?”

“T-Three!” you gasp, your forehead pressing to the cool of your desk, your eyes glazed over and looking at the entrance of your cubicle, fervently wishing that no one tries to check on you as you grind against your stable chair. “O-Only three fit.”

“Fuck, you really do have a tight cunt, don’t you,” Hawks snaps, the wet sounds of his fisting hand around his cock a beautiful melody in your ear that makes you whine at the back of your throat. “Bet you can’t even fit cocks up your cunt without lube, huh. You gotta stay on top, or else you’ll get hurt with how thick and long my cock will be up that baby pussy of yours.”

“H-Hawks!” you grit out, the friction of grinding on the seat no longer working.

“Go to the bathroom, now,” Hawks commands, the small gasps on his voice from his approaching orgasm more than enough ammo for you to do as told.

You sprint to the bathroom, the slick of your cunt hot, and evident to you as you sped to the bathroom. Your phone clenched in your hand as you locked the door behind you, glad the room was empty. Barely managing to get yourself into the stall, the toilet paper placed on the seat as you raised your legs up, already prepared. The skirt you wore was bunched above your ass, and the panties you wore, stretching out around your knees.

“Sounds like you’re ready to start fucking that pussy for me,” Hawks laughs, but there's no humor, just bite. “Put in three fingers, now.”

Without even arguing or caring, three fingers slip into your cunt, and you cry at the feeling of your fingers completely stretching you out. The smell of sex and slick filling your nose as your fingers slick up, fucking your tight cunt as you moan louder and louder for Hawks.

“God, your fucking pussy is so fucking wet, I can hear it from here!” Hawks moans, the frantic sound of his drilling hips gaining speed and momentum.

“I want it to be you!” you moan, your face burning in your humiliation. “I want it to be you fucking my pussy, claiming me in this bathroom. I need you, Hawks, I want your cock so badly!”

“Fuck,” Hawks gasps, something tumbling in the background. “Such sweet words for a fucking dirty ass cumslut,” he growls, and your legs shake, your clit and cunt thrumming with your increasing arousal and pit of tightness in your core.

“HAWKS, FUCK!” you sob as your hips try to start a merciless speed against your fingers, your body trying to match the speed in which Hawks was fucking his own hand.

“Keep screaming my name, whore.” Hawks gasps, his noises of pleasure beginning to grow louder and louder, your eyes crossing in satisfaction. “Screaming my name like the fucking slutty mess you are. All this shit just to get me to fuck you? God, you’re so fucking pathetic y/n. Begging for me, begging for more? I think you’re my favorite little dove ever, gonna make you mine whenever I get to fuck that pussy.”

“Hawks!” you wail his name again, your arms and pussy throbbing with the energy it takes to keep up with his inhumane speeds. Your vision seeing stars as you tremble more and more, your legs slipping from the toilet seat, yet. “I am your whore, your little dove. Please let me come, please! You fuck me so well, fucking hell, please, I needa cum, I needa cum!”

“Cum with me,” he snaps, his voice so deep, so dangerously smooth. It was precisely what you needed, the voice kink you had for his tenor exactly fulfilled entirely with that simple, last command. And just like that, your jaw slackens, head slamming backward, and pleasurable waves crash through you.

Your fingers still rock at your clit, and your vice gripped walls, your toes curling within your shoes as you soundlessly scream. Hawks, on the other end, is practically snarling, voice deep and altogether dangerous as grunt after grunt leaves him, and you can imagine the milk-white cum splattered all over his chest and hand. A beautiful, perfect sight that you wish you could see for yourself.

Exhaustion settles in your bones as you sit on the toilet, still entirely exhausted as you heave for air.

“I think that was the best fucking orgasm I ever had,” you mumble, your eyes closed, not ready to stand up and move. “Thank you.”

“I’m good at what I… at what I do,” Hawks stumbles, husky exhaustion ringing in his own voice. “Now, little dove, finish up work, and I promise there’ll be a surprise waiting for you when you’re done.”

Not entirely agreeing, but not disagreeing with his command to go finish you last… two and a half hours at work, you begrudgingly said goodbye to Hawks before washing your hands and exiting the bathroom.

When five o’clock came, you watched as your phone screen lit up, and your face flushed as you read the DM from Hawks.

Hawks: this is my fav audio now ↳ hawks_littledove.mp3 but you surprised me today, so in case u ever want to have more fun sometime call me 03-9183-2495 ;)

#hawks smut #hawks x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #mha #bbs kinktober 2020

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absolutebl · 4 years ago

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This Week In BL

May 2021 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Lovely Writer Ep 12 fin - that was a long arse final ep, but solid performances. I liked that we focused on the fallout amongst the side characters. (Very clever of them to depict Chap with Tae, his Y-Destiny pairing. Especially as both actors are slated for new BL roles with different partners again, The Tuxedo and You’re My Sky.) The camera certainly enjoyed wallowing in Sib & Gene’s separation, but that’s an Asian drama for you. They like to DWELL. (Frankly, I like a bit of wallowing myself.) I thought the inclusion of the “actual” writer at the very end thoroughly unnecessary. I don’t think they had to beat us over the head with the 4th wall meta quite that much. Still, this is probably one of the best BLs we’re getting from non-GMMtV Thailand this year. RECOMMENDED

Y-Destiny Ep 8 - (Thurs) I found the first half uninteresting but once Casper the Friendly Gay showed up it was fine. The ghost reminded me a bit of Fuse from MIR.

Close Friend Ep 4: (Just One Life) - is it just me or is Talay insanely charismatic? Anygay, the director got ahold of a drone for this one and would like us to KNOW ABOUT THAT FACT. Look, I just don’t think YoonLay have great chemistry but this was alright, cute enough.

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 6 - This was a better installment than we’ve had in a while. I like the obsession vs love explanation from Mork, insightful if creepy. Meen & Duean are okay, I guess. A bit annoying. Everyone in this show is a bit annoying. But the wipe toothpaste then wipe eye crud got to me. Toothpaste in the eye, yech! And then I was all, oh that’s basically this show: toothpaste in the eye. It just reviewed itself. (Also why do they keep switching aspect ratio between the two pairs? It’s like they were filming with two completely different camera types... oh. ah. Weird, GMMTV usually doesn’t make mistakes like that.)

Call it What You Want Ep 6 fin - I skipped to the last ep on this, I told you I do that sometimes to find out what happened. So CIWYW ends happy for the main couple, but trigger warnings on: eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, depression, mental abuse, and a few other things. If you don’t mind your BL dark, gritty, self aware, and honest then you should be okay with this show. But if your preference is for fluff, then there are other fish in the sky. Speaking of...

Nitiman Ep 2 - Giving me My Engineer vibes. This is OLD school Thai uni BL. I kinda feel like it was meant to come out in 2018, the gap year that was, but I am SO GRATEFUL we’re getting it now. Pay TF attention FUTS this is how you redeem a tsundere uke. Also I love that Bboom is just a terrible flirt and the football match twist was great. I love this show.

Top Secret Together Ep 1 - it’s out there but no eng subs. It’s an office set romance with multiple couples all tangential to one building. A bit stilted and low production values but I’m intrigued. I hope we get subs... eventually.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 9 - gets the safe sex gold star for lube + condoms AND a verse discussion? Not to mention asking for sex advice from queer fam? Is this a first in BL? Might be. (I still think it’s weird that product placement hasn’t jumped on the lube bandwagon, too slippery perhaps?) I like the embezzlement drama. I always enjoy good outside conflict playing to setting, and this is the kind to be easily resolved in next week’s finale. What a roller coster this series has been.

Papa & Daddy (Taiwan) Ep 5 - I LOVE THIS SHOW. A heartbeat after i thought, “they better address what he’s doing to the girls he’s dating,” they did it. Clever scripting that. The messaging is gorgeous, the idea that pride and media coverage and knowing about a changing world can broaden minds and lead to acceptance was basically Taiwan making a case for itself paving the way for marriage equality in Asia. Genius.

Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 1 (AKA 4) - dropped with subs and improved production values, someone is learning (or got more dough). The younger brother’s drama is a bit confusing, but I am here for cute boyfriends being cute boyfriends together. And I love that they took the seme’s previous pair (from Nation’s Brother) to be the faen fatale, very crafty of them. Even though it’s not a trope I like, there’s great chemistry all around.

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 6 - I weirdly love this show, okay? I’m just hoping Long has known Minh’s secret all along and is playing a reverse long con cat & mouse game, waiting for Minh to tell him the truth. Because that would be THE BEST. I could do without the faen fatale but ya can’t have everything. (I’m so glad it’s not the standard 6 ep arc, MOAR!!!)

Gossip

Rumor is GMMTV Thailand started shooting Baker Boys (here’s the teaser trailer). This is a remake of Antique (AKA Antique Bakery) a 2008 Korean movie (you can watch it on Viki) which is a remake of Antique (a 2001 Japanese series) with is an adaptation of wildly popular manga Antique Bakery. Knowing the plot I’m not sure this will qualify as BL. I’m still predicting Lee gets his first gay kiss in this series from Singto. More details about this series here.

Breaking News

Love Area release pushed out, reportedly due to C19. (source DramaCool)

Be Love In House: I Do (Taiwan, of course, with that title) got a new softer trailer (no subs). It drops next week, May 19, 2021 on Viki. All the information I have is here.

Tangential to BL

Two BL-adjacent shows, both from Taiwan.

I’m watching Love is Science? on Viki which has a het foundation, but it’s a good one. There’s a BL side couple who are on an enemies to lovers slow burn trajectory; featuring a disaster bi slut meets elegant bad ass super gay. So there’s THAT. The mains are an older career woman and the sweet boy from her distant past who has pined for her for years. (He is the softest sweetest service sub you ever saw.) Props to Taiwan for a seriously underused het dynamic. As usual in Asian rom coms the straight boy love interest is a Perfect Cinnamon Role (yes I’m looking at you True Beauty & Love O2O) but I find Taiwan’s version more palatable than Korea’s or Mainland China’s. It’s not finished yet but... RECOMMENDED.

Starting this week is Love Outlet a 50 (?!) episode show about a mall that sells relationships. It is supposed to have a main gay romance, but it might be a side dish. Very little else known about it. Coming to Line TV.

Honestly, I’m at the point where if Taiwan makes it, I’ll probably watch it.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Starting:

Be Loved In House: I Do (Taiwan)

Golden Blood (Thailand) we think, like Love Area this may be delayed due to surging C19 cases

Love Outlet (Taiwan) we think

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 5 years ago

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#5: The One With Astruc's Self-Insert

In my introductory post, I said the main inspiration for this blog was @hypocrisyofandrewdobson. For those who don't know, Andrew Dobson is an infamous webcomic artist known for drawing webcomics that tend to demonize people he's come across in public or people who disagree with him online (either critical of his art or his political views), while portraying himself as the victim or wise man calling them out on their differing beliefs.

If you want to learn more about this guy who I consider to be far worse than Astruc, check out the blog in question. And no, I don't know why he draws himself as a blue bear.

Why am I talking about this? It's one thing for some schmuck on the internet to use his work to respond to criticism, but the creator of a popular animated series dedicating an entire episode to attacking his critics and trying to get others to feel bad for him is another story.

The second episode of Miraculous Ladybug's third season, “Animaestro” served as a wake-up call for fans (myself included) to make them realize how immature Astruc could be. The plot centers around the premiere of a movie about Ladybug and Cat Noir directed by Thomas Astruc, who voices himself in the original French dub.

And this isn't just a brief cameo like what Stan Lee did in the MCU. Astruc is the Akumatized person this episode, so there's naturally a lot of focus on him. Throughout the first half of the episode, Astruc portrays himself as this timid man who nobody recognizes or respects, like this idiot who doesn't know what animation is.

Doorman: This is a private event, sir.

Astruc: Huh? Excuse me? I'm Thomas Astruc, the movie director.

Doorman: You filmed Cat Noir and Ladybug? What are they like in real life?

Astruc: Er, it's an animated movie. It's all cartoon characters. We don't actually film anyone. See, there's this whole team that draw the chara—

Doorman: Whatever. Who would want to see Ladybug and Cat Noir as cartoon characters?

Get it? Wasn't that meta joke hilarious? This is how much I was laughing:

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And Astruc continues to get about as much respect as Rodney Dangerfield when he interacts with other characters like Jagged Stone and Chloe.

Jagged Stone: Ladybug is one of my best buds! I can't wait to see her movie!

Astruc: Well I—I'm the director, so actually it's more my movie, so to speak.

Jagged Stone: Oh, so you're the one who created the story?

Astruc: Well, technically the screen writers wrote the story, inspired by Ladybug's exploits.

Jagged Stone: Oh, okay. So you did all the drawings?

Thomas: No, no. The animators do all the drawings.

Jagged Stone: So what do you do then?

(Later on...)

Chloe: So you're the one responsible for this movie?

Astruc: Yes, yes! Exactly! That's me!

Chloe: Then you were the one who left Queen Bee out of the trailer. You're lame, utterly lame.

I can't believe Astruc had a scene where he interacted with Chloe and didn't insult her at all.

The episode is determined to make the audience feel bad for Astruc. Nobody respects him and what he does. Isn't that saaaaaad? Nobody cares about animated film directors like Walt Disney or Tex Avery anyway. Not even these stupid children understand how hard Astruc works.

Several Children: Ladybug! Where's Ladybug?

Astruc: Hey there, kids!

Teacher: Ladybug isn't here children. We came here to meet the director of the movie. Children: (frowning in disappointment) Aww.

(Astruc looks visibly disappointed.)

Way to insult your primary demographic, Astruc. I thought you said kids have a better understanding of these stories when people criticized the writing of a certain episode (It's that scene in “Puppeteer 2” if you're curious/don't value your sanity).

It's almost like you're using that as an excuse to half-ass your work while still getting to claim this show is so groundbreaking.

In case you can't tell, “Animaestro” is one of those episodes. The ones where the showrunners decide to dedicate an entire episode to attacking critics of the show in a blunt fashion. Whenever a show addresses criticism, they either create an obvious strawman character to parrot the opinions of fans who don't like their work, or have someone defend the show and insult the critics directly.

youtube

The problem isn't that they're ignoring criticism. It's their show, and they aren't obligated to listen to critics or fans who don't like the direction the show is taking. On the other hand, they aren't obligated to fight back like this and treat their audience like crap. Any show that does something like the three clips I showed you usually comes off as petty and immature because they dedicate so much time to insulting the critics.

Even during the Akuma fight, Astruc has to call out Ladybug for having problems with his movie in-universe, obviously representing critics of the show Astruc claims have no right to criticize the show while it's still airing.

Ladybug: What's with that trailer too? I am not scared of cats, at all.

Astruc/Animaestro: You haven't even seen the movie and you're already slamming it?

Cat Noir: He does have a point, you know.

Ladybug: I wasn't slamming it. It's called constructive criticism!

Yeah, how dare Ladybug be angry that this movie is portraying her as a powerless coward dependent on Cat Noir as opposed to a confident and brave superhero. She just doesn't understand the genius of Thomas Astruc!

And of course the character Astruc claims is “perfect” is the one to take his side.

And that's another problem with this episode, the metatextual references. Before he gets akumatized, Astuc says he spent three years of his life working on his movie. I get that time in this show is weird (we somehow had episodes taking place on the first day of school, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and the first day of Summer), but how did Astruc's self-insert work on a movie based on a superhero who has only been active for a year? Meta-wise, it's an obvious reference to the scorn Astruc has gotten from fans after working so hard on his show, but the only people who would get that reference are the ones who are aware of Astruc's reputation online.

Self-Insert aside, I actually think the titular Animaestro is one of the more visually impressive Akumas featured on the show. Animaestro takes on several forms based off several different forms and eras of animation, like flash, anime, rubber hose, and they all stand out. Granted, some of them are obvious parodies of other characters like Goku or Sailor Moon, but the actual Akuma fight is fun to watch. According to the Mexican Miraculous Ladybug Twitter account, this episode took two and a half years to create, and it shows. It's too bad the story behind it is completely insufferable, almost like the cartoon equidistant to Pixels.

But then comes the part that honestly makes the episode worth it, mainly for how unintentionally hilarious it is. Do you want to know what Animaestro's weakness is? Do you really want to know?

Animaestro is physically incapable of moving unless someone is watching him. I am not making this up.

Ladybug and Cat Noir literally defeat Animaestro by getting everyone to stop paying attention to him.

I could make so many jokes with this, but I can guarantee you're already thinking of something just as good, if not better, than whatever I write.

And there's the end where Astruc gives Marinette his ticket to the movie, which prompts Marinette to kiss up to him for no real reason.

Astruc: Sorry, I guess you don't know who I am either.

Marinette: Of course do. You're Thomas Astruc, the movie director!

Astruc: She recognized me. Somebody actually recognized me!

Nothing happened to make her change her opinion on the Ladybug movie, she didn't really say anything to him earlier in the episode that connects to this exchange, and outside of a few lines Animaestro said, she doesn't even know why he got akumatized (even though ironically she and Chloe accidentally contributed to it because of the awful subplot involving Kagami I talked about last time). If anything, it comes off less like she actually appreciates Astruc's work, and more like she's stroking his ego just to keep him from getting akumatized again.

So yeah, this episode is awful, and the fact that it came out right after the controversial “Chameleon” only proved to show what kind of direction the show was taking this season.

But honestly, even if Astruc still wanted to make about how he doesn't get enough respect the episode could have potentially. All he had to do was make a simple change: Instead of making it about validation for Astruc as a creator, make it about validation for animation in general.

It's a common misconception that animation is only used for shows and movies aimed at children, so the episode could reflect it. Instead of the huge turnout where several celebrities appear at the premiere, instead, the turnout could be a lot smaller, with the media dismissing it as some stupid kiddie flick. Instead of getting akumatized because he gets humiliated in public/getting no respect from anyone else, Astruc gets akumatized because he sees the audience didn't go wild for the movie after the premiere. All he can hear them say is that it's just “kids stuff”.

So when Astruc is Animaestro, he goes on about how important animation is. How it's helped produce propaganda since World War II. How it helped improve special effects in big blockbusters. How the medium is used to create movies that simply can't be filmed on a physical set.

After defeating Animaestro, Ladybug shows up to talk to him. She had seen the movie earlier, and actually enjoyed it. She had a few problems with the story, but they were just minor nitpicks and inaccuracies Astruc wouldn't know about, and she was blown away by the animation. She tells Astruc not to be deterred by his critics, and continue to do what he does. As a designer in her civilian life, Ladybug knows the joy creating brings her, and both she and Astruc want to spread that joy through their work.

Back at the premiere, Astruc thinks about what Ladybug said to him when he sees some kids reenacting a scene from the movie. Astruc walks over to them and asks what they thought of the movie. They said they loved it and how energetic it was. When he tells them he is the director, the kids' faces light up and they say they want to do what he does when they grow up, bringing a smile to Astruc's face.

Isn't that a much more humble approach instead of what we got? It would have helped Astruc come across as more sympathetic, especially with animation fans. But instead, we got an entire episode of Astruc whining about how misunderstood he is.

And you know the footage used for the movie at the beginning? Remember that, because I have a huge rant about it saved for a later post.

For now, here’s an example of a creator appearing in his work done right.

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