#foggy has a million heart attacks

[exceptionalsleeptmj]

Can You Live With Untreated Sleep Apnea?

Nearly 90 million Americans snore occasionally, and an estimated 37 million snore frequently, disrupting their sleep and that of anyone nearby. Snoring is the most common type of sleep apnea, obstructive sleep apnea, or OSA; however, not everyone who snores has the condition.

Doctors use a number of common symptoms to diagnose sleep apnea. Excessive daytime tiredness that is not caused by any physical ailments may indicate sleep apnea. It can also cause morning headaches, foggy thinking, and emotional issues such as anxiety and sadness.

Serious health issues like stroke, heart attack, type 2 diabetes, and hypertension can be brought on by sleep apnea.

Contact us right away if you need sleep apnea treatment in Beverly, MA.

[ask-casadeferal]

Matt, hey, we got another question for you. They wanna know if you have a favorite spot in your territory that you love to go to.

Yes. This.

You mean the apartment?

Yes. You are here. It is safe.

Well, they specifically said a place other than the apartment.

Mm.

Is that a yes or a no?

I think it’s a no.

Matt?

No. ... Yes.

I revoke my statement. I think that’s a maybe.

What place are you thinking of, Matt?

Mm. It is... mm.

You're gonna have to give us more than that.

Mm. A lot. Buildings. No, not... Is, mm.

Come on, Matt. Try to describe it. What buildings?

Not buildings. Is... [makes a zig-zag gesture with his hands, then paints a large circle in the air]

Okay, I still have no idea what you're getting at. A round something?

Yes, round. A lot.

A lot of them? Or do you mean big?

Is big. One. Is big. Big one. Round.

A big, round not-building...

I climb. Is big.

Yeah, man, that doesn't help me. You'll climb on everything that is halfway climbable.

Foggy, more. Not round. Is not building. Is... [makes zig-zag gesture again]

Matt, that could be anything. How far away is it?

Mm, not. Don't know. I don't know. Fifteen blocks?

What direction?

South. Water.

Aw, geez.

What?

I think I know what it is. You remember the old amusement park on Coney Island?

Luna Park?

Yeah, that one. The Ferris Wheel, the roller coasters... I think that’s what he’s trying to describe. Matt, do you mean the Ferris Wheel?

I don’t know, Foggy.

Yeah, how would you? Is it a large, round metal structure, with, like, little cars attached that you can sit in?

Mm. Yes.

Okay. And there’s also these other metal structures with cars that go up and down, and they have rails and loops. Kinda like train tracks but in the air...?

Yes.

There you go. He likes the amusement park. That figures. Matt, you don’t really climb these things all the way to the top, do you?

Foggy, I think you already know the answer to this question.

Foggy, you know answer.

You know, you can be glad that I’m not with you when you go there. I mean, seriously, how unstable are these things?

Not a lot.

Yeah, that doesn’t help. Will you promise me not to climb anything that might fall down or seems in any way unstable?

Mm.

Cause I can’t be there when you fall down and break your neck. Or other bones. Or anything. Please?

Mm. Okay.

You promise?

I promise.

Okay, good. So you like it there, huh? Tell us why.

I can climb. Is high a lot. I hear a lot far.

Except you just promised weren’t gonna climb those things anymore.

No, Foggy. I not climb unstale.

Yeah, well, those things are probably all unstable.

No. Two. More okay.

Jesus fucking Christ.

You know, Matt, I’d actually love to see the place. Will you take me there some time?

Traitor.

[onehappyhufflepuff]

what if... matt murdock didn't get blipped? matt murdock x reader

okay i hate myself for this but recently people have been questioning whether or not matt got blipped at the end of infinity war. i think he did (cause of kingpin in hawkeye), but, what would have happened if you were his friend and the both of you didn't get blipped while karen and foggy were? my brain is full of ideas if you guys want more than just one part

WARNINGS: extreme loss, grieving, panic attack cause by being overwhelmed, basically just really sad :(

pairings: matt murdock x friend!reader

word count: 1,085

A typical workday at Nelson & Murdock. Foggy, Karen, and I ate Chinese take-out for lunch, the news about aliens attacking New York playing quietly for some background noise. Matt had taken the day off, probably to do some Daredevil-ey things. We sat around Karen's desk and laughed at a stupid joke Foggy told.

"Knock, knock," Foggy said, beginning another joke as I stood up to throw my garbage away.

I sighed, "Who's there?" expecting a classic Foggy dad joke. No response came. Maybe that's the punchline? But they weren't there.

"Ha-ha, hilarious guys. How'd you make it out of the room so quietly?" I questioned as I began to wander the office looking for them. Then, I heard the screams. Horrible, gut-wrenching screams coming from everywhere. I felt so overwhelmed by the sudden noise. I ran to the window and threw it open, only to see clouds of dust floating up into the air. Sprinting back to the television, I turned the volume up, watching in horror as calls came flooding into the news station about people evaporating into dust. Slowly turning around, I feared the worst. I walked to where Foggy and Karen had been sitting and noticed what looked like ashes where they should've been. They were gone.

Before I could think, I was running. Two of the three people I cared for in the world were gone. I bumped into other running people on the street, doing the same thing I was. None of us cared enough to stop and apologize. As I ran, I hoped, nearly prayed, for Matt's safety. Approaching his apartment complex, I noticed the lights of his apartment still shining through his windows. Whenever he was home, he'd have the lights on just to let us know he was safe. This did little to ease my fear, however. I ran up the stairs to his apartment and burst through the doors. At first, I couldn't find him, scanning the entirety of his living room, kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom for ashes like Foggy and Karen had left behind. I stood there, the world spinning in circles around me before I heard a faint heaving. I followed the noise to the broom closet adjacent to his fridge. Slowly, I opened the door to find Matt curled upon himself. He was covering his ears and, from the way his chest was moving, I could tell he was hyperventilating.

"Matt, oh my gosh," I whispered, kneeling down to match his height. "Hey, Matt. Matty. It's okay. It's okay. You're safe. I've got you." I comforted the man, gently easing him from the closet and onto the sofa. I sat with him saying nothing. From what I'd seen before, I knew that when Matt was overwhelmed to this extent, all he needed was someone to sit with him quietly.

After 10 or so minutes, the screaming finally quieted, and Matt's breathing began to even out.

"I felt their hearts stop," he murmured, voice barely louder than a whisper.

"What?" I said the question half out of genuine shock and half from my inability to understand what he said.

"I felt– I just felt half of New York's hearts stop," he stuttered between breaths.

"Matt, oh gosh," I said, unable to find words. The pain he must've felt. And– oh, the screams. He'd always been sensitive to loud sounds, but millions of people screaming for who knows how long, that must've been torture.

"When–" he started. "When I first felt it, all I could think to do was search for your heartbeats. Your's and Foggy's and Karen's. Oh, God. Did they…?" Matt said, his voice cracking. His realization struck deep in my heart; they were truly gone. Faded away into ashes in the blink of an eye. And there was nothing either of us could do. A lump rose in my throat as tears rose to my eyes. Matt must've sensed me tense up because he wrapped his arms around me. We stayed like that for a long time, tears threatening to stain each other's shoulders as we found solace in the other's arms.

Eventually, we pulled away from each other. We sat shoulder to shoulder in shock. This wouldn't finally settle in for days. We sat in silence for what felt like forever until Matt spoke.

"I can't– I can't do this alone. Please, please, don't make me do this alone. Don't leave." Matt was clearly terrified that now, with Foggy and Karen dead, I'd leave him to be alone in his sorrows. He'd distanced himself from the three of us when things as Daredevil began to pick up, and, despite the tries from the three of us, he'd never felt safe being close with us again. His fear of my departure was anything but unfounded. But I wouldn't leave him. Neither of us would survive being alone.

"Oh, Matt," I sighed out, the persistent lump in my throat challenging my ability to speak. Pulling him into another hug, I said quietly, "I promise I'll never leave you. I promise." This response to his fears warranted a shakey sob into the crook of my neck. He buried his face farther into my neck as he sobs wracked his body. I did the same as he pulled me impossibly closer, his hand intertwining into my hair.

We stayed like that for the rest of the day, taking turns crying to each other and trying to cope with this massive loss. It was nearly impossible to wrap our heads around what happened. The Avengers spent weeks doing damage control, explaining to the public what had happened. That an alien snapped his fingers and willed away half the population of the entire universe. Crimes rates plummeted at first. Daredevil made no appearances and work was far from anybody's mind. The sudden loss forced everyone into a state of shock. Barely anyone left the house, especially not the two of us.

At first, our days were spent quietly reminiscing about the past few years with Foggy and Karen. After a few weeks, it turned to a more public discussion where we'd sit in Matt's living room and laugh about our friends. After a year, it turned to gentle mourning. We'd have our moments of grieving, but the supernatural cause of death and the knowledge that there was nothing we could do eased our pain. The blissful peace that was each other's friendship similarly aided in the process. Grieving with Matt was always better than grieving alone.

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

A while ago, I read a oneshot written by the absolutely incredible @engie-ivy titled Always Meant To Come Back (https://archiveofourown.org/works/27618893)

They are genuinely one of my favourite wolfstar writers (a far cry from perfect is breaking me into millions of tiny pieces) and this oneshot in particular made me think a lot, particularly about the grieving process that I believe Remus went through during the years before Sirius came back. This has been sitting in my drafts for a while, and I guess it’s a fanfic of a fanfic? I’ve decided to finally post my interpretation of everything Remus went through

The original fic has a very happy ending, so go and read it (because it’s incredible, and is also context for this) but this focuses specifically on Remus’ grief, so it doesn’t end in the same place

The context: Sirius left Hogwarts to try to talk Regulus out of being sworn in as a deatheater, and didn’t come back

CW: Major character “death”, panic attack, grief, implication of suicidal thoughts (very light)

A week passed. A week of worrying from the 3 marauders. A week of being unable to pay attention to classes. A week of McGonnagal apologising profusely for having no new updates about Sirius’ whereabouts. A week of concerned glances thrown at the group from the rest of the school.

Until it happened.

Remus had been scanning the Daily Prophet constantly, for some sign of Sirius.

They were pulled out of lesson, around midday on a Tuesday. All three of them, by a more than panicked McGonnagal.

James burst into sobs. Awful, heart wrenching, gut twisting sobs, that tore through his chest and echoed through the office. The sobs of the loss of a brother.

Peter was shaking. He didn’t know what to do with himself, where to go. He cried. Cried at the loss of a best friend. A family member.

Remus.

Remus was at a loss. Nothing but shock. Thick, foggy shock. There was no way.

He didn’t believe her. He couldn’t believe her, not if he wanted to keep going.

“No.” He shook his head, the only one or speak. “No, he- he can’t be, he isn’t, he’s not- he’s not- you’re wrong.“

“I’m so sorry, Remus.” Minerva herself was shaking, having lost a student who meant so much to her. “All accounts were identical.”

“Did you find him? His- his…”

“Unfortunately not.”

“Then how do we know? He can’t be- not Sirius.” His mind had fogged, he couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe.

He tried to register everything. Everything he had just lost. A life of having someone he could really confide in, trust, love with every inch of him. A life with someone by his side, someone who loved him unconditionally, who put up with him at his worst, someone he could have a future with, grow old with, possibly even have kids with one day. Someone he could imagine spending the rest of his life with. His soulmate, his love, his ray of light, the one person that made everything bearable on those hard days. His Sirius.

It took a week. A week of worried glances. A week of no appetite. A week of hiding in a corner of the library to avoid the stares from other people. A week of going through the motions of life, hardly awake, nothing feeling real. 1 week for the grief to hit.

It was something so small that triggered it all. He was in the great hall, Lily watching him sympathetically, concerned, when someone walked past.

“Those are the boys who were friends with the Black heir before he died.” They tried to whisper, but they all heard it, and everything hit Remus in a tidal wave.

He stood up and left, falling apart as everything became real. He was gone. Remus was never going to see the love of his life again. No real goodbye, nothing. He had to learn to live without his soulmate.

He stumbled to the tree by the black lake, the tree he and Sirius had made so many memories by. Where Sirius nervously asked him out for the first time, and Remus kissed him in the rain. Where Remus told Sirius he loved him for the first time. Where Sirius tearfully revealed the truth about his home life, and Remus let him fall apart for the first time, and they really understood how safe they felt together.

He collapsed, a sob ripping through him, attacking him.

Everything that he had somehow kept at bay, the intense grief that felt like thousands of knives stabbing him in the chest, over and over, choking him, stealing the air from his lungs and the light from his eyes finally had its grip around him.

He didn’t hear anybody follow him. It was only when arms wrapped around him, and Mary’s voice rang out, that he realised she was there at all.

“Remus, breathe.”

“He’s actually gone.” Remus sobbed, his heart being ripped out as reality came crashing down on him.

Everything had sunk in, and he almost wished it hadn’t. So Mary held him while he cried, letting him release every tear that hadn’t yet been shed for Sirius.

Remus started disappearing from lessons, spending full days in bed, shutting his eyes and trying to silence the pain in his head.

His parents had been contacted when it had first happened, and he had declined the offer to go home early at the time, not thinking straight, but eventually McGonnagal didn’t give him the choice, and he was sent back to the Welsh countryside to be swallowed up by the intense loneliness that had enveloped him.

He talked to James about it. Only James. James was the only one who felt the same overwhelming grief. The only one who knew him as well as Remus did. They were there for each other. Remus helped James through a series of panic attacks, grounding him, supporting him, and James helped Remus take care of himself, reminding him to eat, talking to him, anything he needed.

His parents tried. They tried so hard, but they couldn’t understand. They didn’t know what it felt like to have your soul ripped out of you at such a young age. Nothing seemed to ease the depression that had seeped into him.

The love of his life had been killed by Deatheaters, and there was a war going on. A war that they were going to fight in. The war had taken Sirius before it had even properly begun, and they were ready to fight.

The funeral felt impossible. Remus spoke.

Standing up in front of everyone was awful, all pitying gazes or grief stricken faces, but he had to do it. He had to do it for Sirius.

“You know, if he were here, he’d probably tell me I didn’t have to do this, because he knew how much I hated public speaking.” He smiled a little, tears shining in his eyes. “There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him. That I don’t dream about him, or hear his voice. It’s- he impacted so many of us, in so many ways. He’s the love of my life. Always will be. I’m- I’m sorry, I don’t think I can- I can’t say anything else.” His voice broke, and he went back to his seat, Hope wrapping an arm around him, as he rested his head on her shoulder and cried.

They went through Sirius’ things around a week later. Remus and Peter went to the Potter’s manor for it. They told stories, remembered. It was nice. Upsetting, but nice.

Until they got to the bottom of Sirius’ trunk. Remus pulled out a small velvet box and a folded piece of parchment. He frowned, confused, as he unfolded the note.

I know we’re young, but I know you’re the person I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with

I never thought I would be so lucky to fall in love with my best friend, but

Moons, I love you. We’re leaving Hogwarts, and I want to spend every moment of my life with you, especially with the war

Remus dropped the note, opening the box with shaking hands. There it was. A ring. It looked like silver, but as Remus pulled it out gently, he knew Sirius had taken his lycanthropy into account, and it was something that simply gave the impression of silver. It was studded with amber diamonds and had both the Canis Major and Lupin constellations engraved inside.

“Was he going to…?”

“I- I didn’t want to say anything. Not after… that.”

“Merlin, I-“ he couldn’t help the tears that fell, as James wrapped an arm around him. “He was- I could have-“

“I’m so sorry Remus.” James said, tears falling down his cheeks.

“I can’t live without him, Prongs.”

He wore the ring. Nobody said anything. Everybody understood why. Remus was always going to be Sirius’. He had been taken from Remus before they’d had a chance to build their lives together, and nothing could change the love he felt for Sirius, and always would feel for Sirius. The pain didn’t leave him, didn’t give him relief. It trapped him, attacking him.

Some days it was slightly easier. The days when he threw himself headfirst into dangerous missions, or was distracted by his friends.

Then there were the days he couldn’t get out of bed. When someone would absentmindedly call him Rem, or he would find an old photo of the two of them. The days when the same overwhelming pain would drive it’s way into him.

Hope usually didn’t see him on those days, knowing he liked to be alone, but she tried check in on him.

“Remus? How are you feeling lovely?” Remus could hear her footsteps, listening to her sit on the edge of the bed. He didn’t speak at first, he simply sat up and hugged her.

“I miss him so much.” He forced out, his breath coming in short bursts. “How- how am I supposed to move on?”

“You don’t have to yet. You need time.”

“I just want him back.” He sobbed, shaking, finally saying the things he had kept in his mind, circulating, torturing him since it had happened. “I just want to tell him I love him. I want to do everything again. The good and the bad. Everything.” His voice was raw as he cried.

She couldn’t understand what he was going through. She didn’t know how to stop the all consuming grief when it was at its worst, and Remus knew that she felt guilty for not being able to help him more.

Full moons were bad before, but they had only gotten worse. He usually went to the Potter’s for them, James and Peter still transforming to help him, but they barely spoke after the moons. They were too used to Sirius being there. It just felt wrong without him. Even the wolf seemed to notice the gaping hole in their group.

The 1 year anniversary after it had happened was one of the harder days. He spent most of the day alone, in the dark, trying to hold himself together, without the 1 person who could have made it all bearable.

He only forced himself up when there was a knock at the door, immediately met with his friends holding some sort of takeaway.

“Uh… hi.” He said, slightly unsure, as they all let themselves in. “Come in?” He said sarcastically, as James set the food on the counter.

“We’re having a night in!” Mary said lightly, as James rooted through Remus’ cupboards.

“Christ, Moony, where do you keep your plates? It’s like a bloody maze.” He muttered.

“Um, in that cupboard there.” He walked over and took them out for James.

They spent the evening together, and it made it all a little easier.

His friends were his lifeline. They had all experienced the loss of a family member. They were there to pick up the pieces for each other, and Remus would never be able to express his gratitude to them. They were each other’s support system.

Somehow, the conversation was turned to Sirius. One of them made a throwaway comment, not thinking, and they all went silent. Remus could hear his heart beating heavily, and he closed his eyes, trying to get his breathing under control.

“Remus…” Lily started, and Remus felt a tear fall, followed quickly by another as he dropped his head into his hands, shaking. “Oh, Remus…” She wrapped an arm around him.

“It’s just- it’s still so hard, why- why hasn’t it gotten any easier?” Nobody said anything. Nobody knew. They had all lost Sirius, but none of them knew how it felt to lose your soulmate in the way Remus had. “I don’t want- I don’t want to hurt anymore. I just want it to stop, I don’t want to constantly feel like my heart’s being ripped out my chest, like- like a piece of me went with him.” He spoke in between heavy sobs, and Mary stepped in quickly.

“You know, he was the most helpful student in Hogwarts. I always saw him showing the first years around, or defending them from Mulciber and his gang. He wasn’t even a prefect.” She said fondly.

“Even I had to admire his prank ideas.” Lily added. “I was head girl, but I really couldn’t bring myself to give him detention. His ideas were too interesting.”

“He was so considerate. I mean, I watched him listen to so many upset and stressed students, even people he barely knew, because he was worried about them.” Peter spoke quietly, tentatively, not wanting to make the situation worse accidentally.

They quickly spun the conversation to reminiscing, and the pain in Remus’ chest got a little lighter, and he regained the smallest amount of hope that he could have control over his life again.

Years passed. It was a struggle. He barely made it through the bad days. The days when something would remind him of the love of his life. His soulmate. The days when he would recklessly endanger his life on a mission to try and ease the mind numbing pain just a little.

But he did it. He made it through, with his friends by his side. As impossible as it seemed to him, he survived.

It is a very busy set of ideas, because I had so much I wanted to explore that I wasn’t sure how to go about, and I’m not brilliant at writing angst because it hurts my soul, but it turned out way better than I expected, and I hope you liked it!

[mandoalorian]

Borrowed Time [Din Djarin x F!Reader] SMUT

ੈ♡˳‧₊*: • Chapter 8: The Truth ✩࿐ ˚.✧

Summary: You are the princess of Mandalore, held hostage on your own planet by Moff Gideon and his army of Imperial troopers. Left with no choice, you send out a distress signal; a plea for protection— and who comes? None other than Din Djarin, a foundling of The Death Watch. He, by creed, is your sworn enemy. And where you have asked for his protection, he has been told by his mentor that he must marry you and gain the ability to restore Mandalore to its former glory.

Word Count: 2200>

Warnings: more angst and feelings! 18+ SMUT; unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it), f receiving oral, fingering… very soft sex andddd a praise kink because it’s Din’s first time giving oral :’)

AN: Please reblog to spread this around! It’s not showing up in tags! i think i’m still semi-shadow banned:(

Series Masterlist

Din didn’t say anything for a long time. He didn’t understand. Not the Manda’lor? How could that be possible? If you weren’t the Manda’lor, then... who were you? As if you were reading his thoughts, you closed your eyes and turned around so you were facing the brick wall behind you, and tried your very best to explain the truth. You had to at least make an attempt. You ignored the choked nervous knot in your throat. You couldn’t bear to look at him.

How could you ever even begin to explain this to him. You’d never spoken about what happened back on Mandalore to anyone. You’d kept it to yourself all this time. It was so painful. But you had to try.

“My mother was Duchess Satine Kryze, and I am, by technicality, the Princess of Mandalore. I always will be. When my mother died, fifteen years ago, I became heir to the throne. I became the Manda’lor, and... everything was fine. I had everything under control, and, dare I say, I was a good leader. Until one night, there was a planned attack by the Imperials on my city and they slaughtered everyone. They raided homes and killed children…” a single tear slipped down your cheek. “Moff Gideon came to see me. He wanted… the darksaber. So he had his troopers raid the palace and they found it. And once he wielded it, he became the rightful ruler of Mandalore. And, I still don’t have it back… I’ve-- I’ve never felt so helpless. And responsible for the murder of my people.”

You were crushed. You thought by admitting all of this, it would take the giant burden you’d been holding this entire time off your shoulders, but it didn’t. It only made you dread all the built up pain and anguish you had in your heart… for letting this happen and for lying to Din. You really had failed everyone around you, but most importantly, you’d failed yourself.

Bringing your hand to your wedding ring, you twiddled it around your finger and took a shaky exhale. “Din, I understand if you want nothing to do with me anymore. I can leave, and you’ll never see me again. I promise you that much. But I will get the darksaber back and I will be the rightful ruler of Mandalore. These were my people he killed. He stole it from me. And I won’t let the Imperial’s take anymore than they already have. Not without a fight.”

Compiling all the remaining bravery left in you, you turned back around to face Din and opened your eyes.

And your heart stopped.

His eyes were big and brown and sad. He had short, shaggy brown hair and a light stubble which grazed his jaw. His pink lips were parted slightly as he looked at you with his own eyes. No visor modifying his vision of you. This was raw, and completely him. He’d taken off his helmet.

You tried to ask him why, but no words came out.

“So that’s why the Imperials were chasing after you?” His jaw ticked but Maker, his voice without the helmet was as soft as silk. Rich and velvety.

He was handsome too. More handsome than you could’ve ever even imagined. In a rugged way, not in your typical Prince of Mandalore way. But you liked it a lot.

“Yes,” you swallowed thickly. “Moff Gideon imprisoned me in the palace and he never wanted me to leave. He made me promise to never tell anyone that he had the darksaber, because no doubt, any Mandalorian who found out the truth would venture after him to try and reclaim it for themselves. I was forced to live this lie. But I had to do something. That’s when I sent out the distress signal to coverts around the galaxy. That’s when you came for me, and helped me escape.”

Din tried his hardest to process your words. It… made sense. His gaze fell from your face and he looked down at the ground. He looked so sad and your heart ached. If there was a way you could fix this, you were pretty sure you’d do anything. In that very moment, you didn’t even care about the Mandalorian throne or the darksaber. You just cared about Din.

“Din, I’m so sorry.” you began, preparing to fully beg for his forgiveness, but before you could say anymore, his lips came crashing into yours.

He didn’t have anything to say to you, really. He was just so enamoured by you, that he didn’t care. You could lie to him a million times over and he’d forgive you, because you were just too perfect. You were, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. And he loved you.

He should be mad, he knew that much. But he couldn’t bring himself to hate you when all he could think about was just how beautiful your lips were. The entire time you were talking, he was fighting the urge to kiss you. Until finally, he just couldn’t resist anymore.

His mouth was soft and fit perfectly against yours. Your eyes snapped shut and a surprised moan fell from your lips as he took you in his arms and held you. You loved the way it felt… his hands on your body and caressing your skin. Was this… the first time he’d kissed? He was so passionate yet gentle, and Maker, you didn’t want it to end. He was absolutely gorgeous, and such an amazing kisser. When you thought he was going to break away, you raised your hands to his face and cupped his cheeks, swiping your tongue over his lower lip and signalling for him to continue the kiss. He did so, and you opened your mouth, granting him deeper access.

A minute or so later, when the both of you were practically gasping for breath, he pulled off you and rested his forehead against yours. If he was unsure about his feelings before, he knew for certain now.

“We’ll have to leave at dawn,” Din said eventually, huffing and looking into your eyes. His hands were still planted firmly on your hips and he nudged his nose against yours. “There’ll be less Imps around, the earlier we leave.”

You were baffled. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”

“We’re getting the darksaber back,” he confirmed. “You’re getting the darksaber back. You are the rightful ruler of Mandalore.”

You couldn’t believe it. He still wanted to help you, even after admitting to him that you’d been lying. He no longer had a duty to protect you, and yet he was doing this not because he had to, but because he wanted to.

“Are you sure?” you gasped, completely exasperated. “Are you sure you still want to help me?”

Din nodded his head wordlessly before kissing you again. “We should rest before our escape tomorrow,” Din breathed. “I have a room here.”

“Take me.” you begged, curling your body into his.

Din’s room at the covert was no different to the many other rooms that were habited by other Mandalorians. It was a small boxy room with a bed in the corner. At least it was a real bed though, and not Din’s poor excuse for a bed back on the Crest. He closed the door behind him and turned on the light, although it wasn’t bright whatsoever. It barely illuminated the room in this dull, amber colour, but it was just enough to cast your shadows on the wall.

You gulped, not tearing your eyes from him once. “I think you’re very handsome,” you blurted out, smiling when you noticed a rosy blush cross Din’s cheeks. “And I think it’s a real shame that you have to hide your face. I just know that those brown eyes could charm you out of trouble.”

Din chuckled nervously. “I think you’re very pretty too,” he said. “But you probably hear that a lot.”

You shook your head, the smile never leaving your lips once. “No.”

When Din kissed you, it felt like heaven. As the moment became more and more heated, both of you ended up undressing, and discarding your clothing and his armour into a pile on the floor.

Din carefully laid you down on his bed and hovered over you, planting kisses down your neck, along your collarbones and down your chest. He brought his hand over to your breasts and began with giving them a few experimental squeezes. He brushed his thumb over your hardening nipple and pinched it, earning a moan of pleasure from you.

Not taking his lips from yours, he dropped his hand down your body and to the hem of your panties, dipping his finger under the waistband and feeling just how wet you’d already become. He chuckled to himself, his thick and deft index finger tracing quick and tight circles across your clit. You arched your back into him, a foggy haze crossing your vision as he worked you into a complete state of euphoria.

You chanted his name like it was a prayer, caressing his biceps and holding onto him. After he drew out your first orgasm, he tapped on your thigh. You lifted up your ass so he could pull down your panties and take them off completely. You were an absolute sight to behold, there was no denying that. Your folds were slick with your arousal and Din done everything he could to contain himself. Licking his lips, he knelt down between your legs and began to lap his tongue around your bundle of nerves, even sucking occasionally on your sweet spot.

“Does-- does that feel good?” Din asked, briefly pausing just before you were about to cum again. Your legs were shaking with pleasure and Din just wanted to make sure you were alright. “I’m-- I’ve never done this before.” he confessed.

“Oral?” you asked breathlessly, rolling your head into the pillow.

“Mhm,” he confirmed, nibbling and pressing lovebites into the soft flesh of your thighs. “Never took off my helmet.”

You moaned something incoherent when the curve of his nose rubbed against your clit and you felt the warmth of his breath fan over your core.

“It’s good Din, so good,” you sighed longingly. “You’re doing so good. Please don’t stop.”

So Din kept at it until eventually you were a heaving, quivering mess, and he drove out your second orgasm. When he pulled away from you, a trail of his saliva pulled between your wet cunt and his lips, but he immediately licked himself clean and leaned over your body so he could kiss you again. The way you could taste yourself on his mouth felt so erotic.

You pulled his hard and leaking cock from the confines of his underwear and began to pump at his length. He was hot and heavy, and somehow, he was even better than you had imagined. Even as you stroked him, you yearned for him, and you could feel your cunt clench around nothing as you wished for him to fuck you already.

Din loved how you were a needy, squirming mess beneath him. He positioned himself at your entrance and slowly pushed his engorged tip inside of you, taking a few moments to allow you to adjust to his length. The wet noises as he thrusted into you were lewd and obscenely loud, and if you were with anyone else you might’ve felt embarrassed -- but as Din built up his rhythm and held on to your hips, you couldn’t even think straight enough to feel embarrassed.

“Din,” you cried out, letting your fingers curl in his brown locks of hair. “Oh Din.”

His own hips began to stutter and with a loud gasp, you felt his cock convulse inside of you and a spurt of his creamy hot seed rope your walls.

Din let himself soften inside of you as he caught his breath, eventually rolling off you and laying by your side. He wrapped his arms around you and spooned you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear until eventually, you fell asleep in his arms.

“You will reclaim Mandalore,” he whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. “I promise.”

_________________________________________

Borrowed Time taglist in the replies!

Permanent taglist: @paintballkid711 @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @xoxo-callie @stardust-galaxies​ @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal l @castiel-barnes @honeymandos @rocketqueen @girl-obsessed-with-things @elena-myth @moth-guillotine @pedro-pascal-love @hayley-the-comet @pinkninja200 @maxiarapamaya @autumnleaves1991-blog @artsymaddie @harrys-stan @kennedywxlsh @cripplingmoon @cheekygeek05 @mrschiltoncat @rye-flower @theamuz @persie33 @sleepylunarwolf @martellthemandalor @pedro-pastel @steeevienicks @rrtxcmt @saphic-susperia @beskarprincessjenny @readsalot73 @softmedics @jade10077 @dodgerandevans @planetariumx @pascals-cat @ajeff855 @spideysimpossiblegirl @smoldjarin

[perpetuelledaydreaming]

Illicit affairs- Chapter 9

summary: the power of a girl after a break up? let me tell you. felicia learns a thing or two about trusting the wrong people and peter just really really wants y/n to be happy. 

Listen to: Rolling in the deep- Adele, These boots are made for walkin’ - Nancy Sinatra & Champagne problems- Taylor Swift

word count: 19.7k

series masterlist

You just felt pain. 

Pain on your head.

Pain on your arm.

Pain on your back.

Pain on your side.

Pain on your gun-shot wound. 

You had been tossed down like a rag doll and fell beside your now destroyed bed. You tried to stand up, but the dizziness was too much, your body didn’t seem to be responding yet, still recovering from Felicia’s attack. However, you could feel the debris and glass shards poking into your skin below you while your head was throbbing from the sheer force of the explosion. 

You slipped and came back from darkness; your vision foggy and spots dancing on your eyes while you could hear muffled sounds around you, maybe even an alarm, but you weren’t sure if it was just another effect of the explosion on your hearing. The wind from the broken window ruffling your dress and hair. You barely registered at the beginning but it grew colder as the seconds passed. 

And each time you slipped back into darkness you could only see Felicia’s doleful expression as she jumped from the window. You remember her silver hair and how her hands had traced your skin minutes ago but now everything just felt cold, desolate and it just hurt. 

You wanted to scream and shout and cry because the girl you had been protecting and maybe even loving for the past few months had crushed your heart into a million pieces, she left you. You didn’t matter. And it felt like if the ice was enveloping you, just wave after wave washing over you, knocking you further into the glass piercing into your skin, the numbness mixing with the pain, and it felt like you were going to drown. It had been your fault, you had let her in despite the warnings, despite everything, and here you were, drowning. 

Did you deserve to be there? 

And then you felt his warm hands cupping your face. 

It seemed urgent but so soft at the same time, and then the smell of cinnamon and honey invaded you, it overwhelmed you and you just knew you had to cling onto him to not drown. Without even reacting to the pain on your side or your face, you managed to take a hold of Peter’s face. 

“Can you hear me?” Peter’s voice sounded far away from you, but you could still hear the urgency and fear in his voice. “y/n? Come on, come on”

You tried your best to open your eyes, fluttering them so you could see the boy with the chocolate eyes with golden specks, a constellation of freckles and caramel curls. He had a few cuts on his face, he had dirt all over himself that you assume was from the explosion but he was okay, he was there holding your body tightly as he had you resting on his lap. 

Peter sighed with relief as he crawled your body and pushed you against him, holding you as tight as he possibly could. He was so happy that you were okay and he felt like he could finally breathe again when he realized that you were starting to hold him too. Peter looked back at you, as he tried to wipe off the blood from the cut over your eyebrow, already a dark blotch appearing on your temple from the explosion, he shuddered at the image but he was just happy that you were there.

He wanted to cry and kiss you all at the same time, he had lost you so many times (figurately and barely literally a few weeks ago), so when he saw how Felicia was pointing at you with the repulsor, he felt a shiver ran down his back. He had tried so hard to catch you, he had tried with all his force to reach you, to hold you but his fingers just brushed yours as the blast separated you instantly, sending Peter flying backward, literally crushing him against and through one of the walls in your room. 

He had to rest a second as his head buzzed from the impact but once the fogginess left his eyes, he just went back in looking for you through your destroyed room and he felt his stomach sinking when he saw you while you laid motionless in front of him. He couldn’t be okay. 

Not until you finally reacted to him, not until he saw your y/e/c eyes looking back at him and he held you; you were okay and that’s all that mattered to Peter. 

“Peter,” you finally said, your voice had grown up since Peter had met you but right then and there you sounded so young and small. “She escaped, I’m so stupid”

Peter frowned as you felt the hot tears pooling on your eyes, tears began to fall stubbornly down your cheeks as you held Peter tighter. You felt the sobs ripping through your chest, not as hard as the last night with Peter before you escaped New York, but you could feel your chest tearing with each sob that escaped your lips, Peter held you softly and shook his head, almost instantly.  

“You are not,” He stated firmly but softly at the same time as he wiped your tears away with his thumb. “You thought someone cared about you and you were so perfect and loving as you are. It’s okay to make mistakes”

“I screwed up so bad,” you repeated, this time mostly to yourself as the burning loathing against yourself began to ease its way to your heart and mind, the helplessness feeling drowning you. “I trusted her” 

“I know you did, but you can fault yourself for this y/n,” Peter repeated as he leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours but you shook it off.

You pushed yourself up, Peter helping you as you kneeled next to him, crying and shaking your head, you now just felt rage but you weren’t even aware of who, you or Felicia? 

“You told me so many times,” you insisted as you tried to wipe the tears away with your hands, you hissed as you saw the cuts on your body and how they burned because of your tears. You stared at them for a moment and for that slight moment you thought that you deserved them but Peter quickly took your hand in his, he had the same cuts and you realized how much you had hurt him and it only made you angrier. “Peter, what did I do!?” the scream ripped your chest.

It felt almost like an instinct as Peter took you in his arms and lifted you, you had to hold to him to stabilized yourself as you grabbed his shoulders and he pulled you towards him by your hips and back. He quickly cupped your face with one hand while his other one rested on the small of your back, holding you against him. 

“Listen to me y/n,” He stated gravelly, his eyes burning you. “It’s okay to screw up, I’ve screwed up a lot of times but I will always have your back, I know I didn’t before but I’m here” he stated and you finally felt the tears slowing down and Peter nodded at you, assuring you it was the truth. “I will always be here”

His words sounded so definitive, the mention of Peter always being on your life, always, caused your body to warm up, like it always felt when you were with him, you felt safe. You sniffled and you nodded back to Peter, pushing him towards you and smiling.

But then you heard steps coming your way and you turned towards where your door was supposed to be to see Harley and the others appearing on the frame of the door, clearly astounded by the destruction, and as you saw how their faces turned, you just knew it looked bad. 

“What the hell happened!?” Ned screamed as he looked around with an agitated expression drawn on his face.

Peter turned to tell them but he was still holding you tightly, never letting you and you were thankful for it, the coldness almost disappearing completely when you were by his side. “She left with the repulsor,” Peter stated as you winced at the thought of what they would say.

“Fuuuck,” Flash and Harley stated in unison, the way Harley’s eyes washed with anxiety let you know it was bad, really fucking bad. 

“Yeah, now she’s going to give it to Kingpin.” You stated as you tried to wash the remaining tears away as Peter and you moved closer to them but then as you looked around your room, you saw the faint white smoke and something snapped on your mind. “Harley, doesn’t that drip energy once it has been used?” You asked as Ned helped you move from one side of your room to the other, separated by a prominent crack on the floor.

“We can track it” MJ suggested as she looked back at Harley and shook his shoulder. “Don’t you have like multiple Stark Industries Satellites that hacked behind Tony’s back?”

Harley looked back at her as realization dawned on him and he smiled while looking at MJ brightly. “I love that you listen to me,” he gushed, but MJ simply rolled her eyes.

“Move it”

All of you ran to Harley’s bedroom as he quickly got onto his computer and all of you waited by his side. Ned tried to insist that Peter and you should get checked as Harley hacked at least two satellites and triangulated the algorithm to find the specific trace of energy that matched one of the repulsors. But neither, Peter or you wanted to leave Harley’s side, your eyes were glued to the screen as Harley, with the help of MJ and Ned tried to hack the satellites. 

You knew that everything was a matter of time, that if you weren’t fast enough the repulsor could become a weapon of mass destruction, even more, if Kingpin realized how to harvest its energy and reproduce it into the thousands of aliens weaponry that he already had. You thought about Felicia and how interested she had been on the small project the day of your attack, you grimaced at the thought of her purple eyes and her lips. 

Peter quickly noticed, and he offered you his hand. You took it, as you both then looked back at the computer. 

It felt like it took them forever to hack into the system, Peter had tried to intervene but there were too many people already with Harley, MJ, and Ned there. Even more importantly, Peter also realized he had to stay with you, he didn’t exactly know how or why he felt, but now it just seemed like energy pulled you together. 

Peter looked at you, all scrapped and with cuts, but with your eyes trained on the prize and he felt the same way he felt when you first met, leaving your lab with your eyes trained in the hologram, determined and brave. 

“Here’s the track,” MJ finally said, she had successfully managed to enter the system and placed the trace of energy rather quickly, the map of New York forming before your eyes. 

“Where is she?”

“She went to her apartment,” you said as you pointed at the map, knowing the route by heart now. “Probably to change, now she’s going to…”

“Isn’t that?” Betty asked with a frown as she pointed at the trace where Felicia had been located. 

“Right next to us?” Harley asked as confused as everyone at the moment seemed. 

You watched as the beeping light on the screen, she was close to Grand Central. Grand Central was only a couple of blocks away from Stark Tower, it was a twenty-minute walk and you could be there in no time, you gave a step back as your mind worked on the reason why Felicia would return so close to where she had stolen something. 

Felicia wasn’t dumb, she was many things but dumb wasn’t one of them. She knew that the area would be soon surrounded by police and if she wasn’t afraid of you and Peter and had aimed to hurt you and she had succeeded, she would still have to deal with the older Avengers that were still around. Moreover, if she was giving the repulsor away to Kingpin, why she would do it in such a public place?

Had Kingpin forced her to give it there? Was it a power move from him?

But then it dawned on you. 

“She’s going to escape,” you whispered, at first to yourself but then to everyone as they turned around and looked at you while they frowned. 

“What?”

“She’s going to escape,” you repeated as you stood up from Harley’s bed. “She knows that it’s likely that Kingpin will still kill her, she has been getting too close to me or maybe she knows that everyone would be looking for her. She has to run away after she delivers the repulsor she’s going to go by train. She’s going to Grand Central”

“How can you be sure?” Betty asked silently and Peter’s eyes linked with yours. 

You weren’t. 

“I think I still know a little bit of her and it’s our best shot right now,” you answered with a shrug while you thought about her, how she had kissed you to distract you, your hands turned into a fist and you shot up from Harley’s room. “Well, we have to hurry”

Peter followed you immediately (although you hadn’t even told him that he had to go with you, but it seemed like a given) while the rest trailed behind you but then Harley walked faster and took your wrist, you hissed for a second from his touch since you were walking with determination towards the terrace of the penthouse, ready to jump with your suit on and go to look for Felicia. There wasn’t really a plan, you just knew you had to get to her before she managed to give the repulsor away, you didn’t know what you were going to do when you saw her but you just had to try.  

“Wait, don’t you want to wait for Tony?” Harley asked seriously, he looked confused and scared that the thought of your dad hadn’t crossed your mind and you looked back at him as confused as he was. 

“He knows?”

Harley stared at you, agape at your question, he laughed sarcastically as he let go of your hand.  “Of course he does, everyone heard the blast!”

“Where is he?” you asked, your eyes trailing back to the elevator worriedly. 

“They are trying to evacuate the people inside. He knows there was a blast on the penthouse” Betty stated as she walked next to Harley and in front of you. 

Thank god Morgan is Upstate, you thought as you looked at them but you spun on your heels once more. 

You knew that this was just wasting your time, that Felicia and Kingpin would do this as fast as possible so no one would be able to catch them, and if you didn’t arrive on time, then it would just be too late.  

“I have to go,” you repeated yourself as you watched Peter but before you continued to talk to the terrace, Peter called your name.

“y/n,” Peter’s voice was modulated, he didn’t have the urgency it would normally have when you were about to face a threat as big as this one, there wasn’t any doubt on his voice but you could still sense that he was asking you something. You turned to face Peter, his eyes lingered with yours and you just knew.  

“I have to do this Peter,” you stated earnestly. “It’s my responsibility and I’m not going to let my dad clean up a mess that I made. I have to fix it.”

Peter watched you intently for what felt like forever for you until he just nodded and you knew it, you were going to do this together. Before your friends realized it, the nanobots began to surround your skin while Peter began to take off his clothes (much to your friend’s dismay as they turned around) to reveal his suit. You didn’t stop looking at the other, your eyes locked and before your friends blinked, Peter and you were jumping from the terrace of the penthouse and into the night. 

You nearly crushed against a building and for mistake nearly swung Peter into a lamppost as he dangled from your suit; you were anxiously trying to get to Grand Central as fast as you possibly could and Peter was keeping up, but you were flying a bit recklessly. It was a silent flight, but the tension was high at the moment, just muttering a small sorry from time to time to Peter, he just stayed as silent as you were, knowing that you were too anxious to plan something at the moment. 

“There aren’t many people,” you announced as you finally flew over Grand Central while Peter finally let go of you, as he perched himself in the rafters of the building, while you slowly and quietly landed next to him, your mask retracting from your face as you both looked down through the large glass windows.

You knew that you had to get the civilians out first, even if there weren’t many and then it would be easier to mess up the deal, maybe Felicia would be evacuated with the rest of the civilians and Kingpin wouldn’t dare to come in, knowing that police were going to be there or maybe a couple of Avengers, not that it had stopped him before but you liked believed that he didn’t like the messiness of it all.  

“We have to get them out before,” Peter started but he trailed off and turned around, you furrowed your eyebrows and turned towards where Peter was looking. 

And then you saw him. 

“Wait, isn’t that?”

“Yes”

Peter’s whole body filled with dread as he watched the overly-large, hunkering figure of Kingpin as he climbed down of the large limousine. You felt your throat constrict as he walked over to the entrance of Grand Central with an army of men following him and surrounding the place. You could see his large hands that had rings in every one of his fingers. He was wearing a sharp black suit as he walked inside, and Peter could feel the danger he posed by just being close, instinctively Peter walked closer to you. 

You didn’t notice, you were too busy realizing that Kingpin wasn’t alone, you could feel how your hands turned to fists as you saw who was next to Kingpin. Just a few steps behind, the lanky figure in a purple mask and suit, wearing the mechanized gloves and boots, along with another tall man with a beige suit and bony hands that had touched your skin once, a sick grin drawn on his face. Orville Nugent (The Architect) and The Prowler entered the building shortly after Kingpin did and you felt like you had stopped breathing. 

“I don’t like this,” Peter whispered, mostly to himself as HAPPY showed you the heat signatures being detected, part of you wished that you would just recognize Felicia’s shape and there wouldn’t be the need of fighting but deep down you knew it was impossible and either way, the sounds of the bullets being fired into the air as they ricocheted on the station erased any thought of a possible easy way out. 

The screams of the people on the station seemed to drown the ricochet of the bullets as they laid down on the floor, covering their heads while you felt like your heart had stopped. The screaming, the moaning of a bullet possibly hitting someone, the cries for help, the tears, it seemed overwhelming. You hadn’t experience per se a mission with hostages, at least not this many and it became too real, you began to only hear your breathing as you hyperventilate. 

“Everyone, everyone,” The Architect stated loudly as he showed himself from the top of the iconic stairs of the station. “We are not going to take long, but if you don’t want to get shot -or something worse-, you should follow the men silently and keep quiet.” He finished with a grin as Kingpin soldiers started to surround the people and nudged them to move towards the information booth in the center. 

It was clear that they wanted them exposed, there weren’t many people, about thirty, since it was already so late at night but you were more than sure that they were using them as bait or as a guarantee to slowdown any attacks coming from the outside.  

You turned to see Peter, who seemed like his whole body had shut down as he watched down silently, you could see the slight tapping of anxiety he was doing with his hands and it was beyond obvious that his Spidey senses were going haywire in front of you, you were about to say something, to break through his barrier but you heard her voice. 

“Can we get this over with?” Felicia -well, Black Cat- jumped from the edge of one balcony to the main entrance, where Kingpin, The Prowler and The Architect were, surrounded by their guards. 

You could feel your blood rushing to your ears and for a second everything you saw was Felicia. Her curves were covered by her sparkling black bodysuit, her confidence, silky hair, full lips, and purple-ish eyes but there was something off with her. The trepidation in every one of her steps and you knew that she was scared. She had that same look on her eyes when she had come to Stark Tower after you had been hurt, you could sense it from a mile away and it made you wonder if you actually knew her. 

“Now, now Miss Hardy,” Kingpin said almost quietly, but still his voice boomed all over the station. He shook his head as he locked gazes with Felicia. “What did we said about you playing nice?” 

“I just want to end this,” Felicia stated coldly, without hesitation. “Quickly.”

Kingpin sighed from where he stood and he nudged The Architect to go where Felicia was. “You know the drill”, he stated gravely. 

Soon, about ten of the armed men surrounded Felicia, pointing their guns at her as she rolled her eyes. They left a small opening from where The Architect passed through and stood in front of Felicia, who was glaring at him. She quickly opened the case and there it was the repulsor. 

The Architect sighed happily, which caused you to wrap a hand around Peter’s as both of you leaned closer together to get a better look. The Architect inspected the case and then pulled up a scanning machine over the repulsor, which beeped unceasingly as it passed through, causing a smirk to appear on Kingpin’s face which caused you to shudder. 

You knew that smirk, you knew how the air of tension had changed once Kingpin knew that Felicia had brought him what he wanted all along and you felt your stomach dropping. Kingpin was now overly confident and the satisfaction that flashed through those eyes made you want to vomit; this had been part of his plans all along. He knew that you were coming for him and that’s why he had sent The Prowler, he knew that nothing would defeat The Avengers unless it came from the inside. It all flashed through your eyes and you wondered if he had ordered Felicia to get close to you too. 

“You’ve done well, Miss Hardy,” Kingpin smiled widely. 

“I know,” Felicia replied with an indifference that caused Kingpin to chuckle. 

“will you ever come back?” He asked and your heart sunk because you knew exactly what he meant. Felicia was running away as you had predicted. “I could use you for some jobs”

“I won’t be coming back,” Felicia retorted, you could feel the modulation in her voice, she was almost hissing. 

“You don’t have to worry about the Avengers,” He asserted causally, “I’ll be done with them and you won’t be in harm’s way.”

Peter felt like throwing up as he quickly gazed back at you, he could see how you were almost hyperventilating, even behind your mask Peter could feel how you were slightly shaking, how your heartbeat was raising and Peter wondered if he should call Tony or the others. 

But Felicia spoke again. 

“I won’t come back to this place,” she stated coldly as she glared at Kingpin who shrugged. 

“Then, it has been lovely to do business with you.” He raised his hand slightly and The Architect tried to snatch the case from Felicia’s hands but before he could, Felicia swiftly kneeled down and passed her legs under Orville, who fell immediately to the ground.

You almost jumped at the way the alarms went off, the men -who were thankfully armed just with usual guns- pointed at Felicia and Orville simply started cursing and glaring at Felicia, which she didn’t mind. She wasn’t looking at the tantrum that he was throwing, which reminded you how awful of an extortionist he must be.

“Not so fast,” Felicia stated as she raised her eyebrows and secure the case behind her, “You owe me something.” 

Kingpin didn’t flinch at Felicia’s statement, he looked at her almost indifferent which caused your blood to boil because Felicia was being beyond serious and she could be a real threat, but he was so dismissive of her. 

“Oh, yeah,” Kingpin stated, with an almost blank gaze. “Orville, would you mind?” he asked The Architect who was still bickering under his breath. He quickly took from his jacket a paper and a ticket which Felicia easily snatched from his hand and he couldn’t do anything about it as she gave a few steps back and checked it. “If you take the next train, you’ll be right on time”

Felicia stared at the tickets and papers for a second, you saw her shoulders relaxing and there was a slight curve on her plump lips. Kingpin had something that she wanted but you tried to go back to the times that you had shared and you couldn’t think of anything that Felicia would want other than survive. She would’ve escaped with or without Kingpin’s help, she could’ve gotten tickets anywhere but why did she need those exactly? You weren’t sure, but she had done a deal and it was her time to pay her part. 

Before you even realized yourself, you raised from the rooftop where you had been with Peter and quickly pointed at the glass over where Felicia was but Peter quickly webbed your hand, throwing you off for a second, you stared back at him as you quickly slay the web from your hand. 

“y/n, don’t!”

But you didn’t care at the moment, you turned around and pointed at the glass and fire. The glass fell over the men, some in confusion and some already firing at the ceiling, the people inside and surrounding the information booth were screaming but you could only see Felicia, who had covered herself but when she heard the energy from your suit.

She knew it was you. 

She looked at you with widened eyes and a gaping mouth, maybe she thought the blast would hurt you a lot, maybe she thought that you were probably knocked out for longer or that it would be Tony and not you coming here. Some of the men were firing at you but the bullets didn’t bother you anymore, although you were cautious in case you detected another neutralizer, although you had fixed the glitched it still caused you to shudder. 

“Hardy, stop,” you stated as you landed in front of Felicia, as men started to surround you and kept firing at you. 

“Oh, look who we have here,” Kingpin chuckled as he looked around with a smug smile on his face and then cleared his throat. “Stand down,” he ordered his men and soon the bullets stopped hitting your suit, you looked right at Kingpin who gave you a small nod. 

“It’s a pleasure Stark, we’ve been chasing each other like cat and mouse…I, for one-”

“I’m not here to talk to you,” you growled at Kingpin and your gaze returned to Felicia, who still seemed a bit perplexed that you were standing in front of her and that you had dismissed Kingpin so easily. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked with such a small voice that Kingpin could barely hear her. She had a slight frown on her face but her eyes flashed with relief and, although you didn’t want to trick yourself, you believed that she was somehow happy that you were okay. 

“You don’t need to do this,” you asserted as the nanobots of your helmet disappeared and your eyes locked in with Felicia. 

Felicia grimaced as she saw your face, you weren’t exactly sure how you looked since you hadn’t even had time to fix yourself before you had come but by the look on Felicia’s face and the remainder of the thick liquid (which you assumed was blood) going down your face before, it didn’t look good.

“You don’t know anything y/n, stop,” she replied once more, but this time it almost sounded like a hiss and you could see how hot tears were threatening to fall from her eyes as she chuckled slightly, in incredulity that you were there and talking to her. 

“Why would you need to do this?” you insisted as you gave a step towards Felicia, which only caused the men to point their guns at you, you glared at them and restrained yourself before you looked back at Felicia, “Talk to me.”

“Hasn’t she told you Stark?”

You looked back at Kingpin, who gave a maliciously smug look in your direction as he chuckled and crossed his arms. You wished you could fire at him right then and there, but you knew it wasn’t the moment. “Miss Hardy here’s doing this for her old man”

You looked back at Felicia as she looked away, the tears were finally falling from her eyes and you realized it was the first time you had ever seen Felicia cried, there was just one time when you had seen her so… blue. Your mind ran back to the day in Coney Island when you had first felt her lips on yours and your mind dug deeper into those memories. 

“Why would you,” you trailed off as you realized when you had seen her like that when had her eyes lost the constant light that they had and everything clicked. “You told me he had died”

Felicia wiped her tears as she looked at you, you could see how she was hunched down and it seemed like it hurt her to only talk about her dad, it pained her. You’d never seen her looking as sorrowful as she was at the moment and you shook your head. 

“He isn’t dead… yet,” she muttered as she looked at you silently, “Just, letting my dad die in jail isn’t part of my plan y/n.”

The honesty in Felicia’s voice was fulminant, the matter-of-fact tone she had to use was very clear to you. She wasn’t doing this out of some horrible personal gain that was vapid, which was something that you had feared a little bit. She hadn’t hurt you out of something superfluous but she had done what she had believed she had to do to save her family. But you simply stayed quiet, blinking slightly as you processed everything but then anger began to bubble up on your chest. 

“I could’ve got him out,” you whispered at Felicia and you gave a step back, “I could’ve done something you…you asshole!” you snapped at Felicia, with the anger dripping from your voice. 

You’d like to think that there was a mutual understanding between you and Felicia, ever since you had agreed that you would talk to her, you thought that there was trust between the two of you. You’d follow her blindly for months, you’d been so in awe at her that you thought that being on each other’s orbits for so long, getting to know each other, would’ve made her able to tell you what was happening. 

Felicia blinked at your words and Kingpin too, almost everyone’s moth gaped at your statement and a few raised their eyebrows at your blowup. “Didn’t expect that kind of language coming from you, Miss Stark”

“Are you kidding me?” you yelled at Felicia, ignoring Kingpin completely as you glared at her but now, Felicia was fuming too.  

“No, you are kidding yourself!” Felicia barked back at you, stepping towards you. It seemed like she had forgotten where you were, it seemed a fight between… people that were something more, “You are the type of people who would put him there in the first place!”

You scoffed at her statement while rolling your eyes at her, “I spent months lying for you, could you be any more clueless?”

“Don’t act like you would’ve done something, you are a freaking Avenger!” Felicia fumed, now trying to tower over you. She was breathing heavily, her eyes red and angry. You glared back at her defiantly as if facing her would change her mind, would change the course of how things had turned. 

“I would’ve done something if you had asked me to! It didn’t matter if I was an Avenger,” you yelled at her, feeling hot and wound up, your hands were shaking and you realized how angry you were at her for ruining any possibility for a kind of honest relationship. 

And then she said it. 

“Liar!”

And it felt like something broke inside of you, your angry dialed down for a second you stiffened at Felicia’s words and you felt the knot on your throat that you’d always felt in moments like this but you pushed through it. 

“Don’t call me a liar Felicia, not after you have been tricking me and betraying me for months now,” you stated gravelly, but you knew your voice had wobbled at the end as you tried to drown the urge to cry once more, “Even after you shot me…how dare you?”

Felicia looked at you with a gaped mouth and then there was just shame. The downward gaze, the wince at the thought of what she had done, and the trembling chin. 

“y/n…” she started as she looked back with tears, “I didn’t fire directly towards you, just close enough so you could back out! I did car-”

“You didn’t, not really. Not like I cared about you,” you replied as you shook your head and looked quietly at the girl with purple-ish eyes, silver hair, and cotton candy smell that you’d cared for. 

You realized that you’d tried so much to be someone for her, you’d tried to be there for her and you’d fallen for her, even if it wasn’t as hard or as bad, you did love her in some way that you’d never experience yourself and the pain returned on your chest. 

“Not that it matters now,” you said quietly as you looked at her. 

Now you were both crying, sorrow drawn on both of your faces and for the first time in your conversation, it dawned on you that you weren’t alone. 

“Indeed, Stark,” Kingpin said interrupting you, once again with a grin. “Not that it matters now.”

“Right,” you said between your teeth and cleared your throat as you looked away from Felicia and towards the hunkering figure standing a couple of meters away from you. 

“Now, if you excuse me, I would like to go home early today” Kingpin said apathetic, as he ordered one The Architect with a swift movement from his large hand to get the case from Felicia’s hands, but before Orville could give another step you interrupted him. 

“Yeah, that’s not going to work” you answer as the nanobots began to cover your face. 

There was a shift in the air, the moon was hovering over you brightly and it seemed like everything had quiet down, the tension grew as the seconds passed and no one dared to move but everyone seemed prepared, Felicia and you taking defensive stands as the men began to point at you again. Even Kingpin's hands turned into large fists as he stared at you, and now you realized how frustrated he was and the glare he had on you. 

Kingpin wanted you dead and there wasn’t any turning back. 

And then, you heard a slight Twhip! sound of one of Peter’s webs before you realized what he had targeted. Every single person inside the building looking from where it came from and before you could blink, the case was snatched from Felicia’s hands into the ceiling. Everyone followed the case to where Peter was, hanging from a web, as the case reached him.

“I hate interrupting a good convo, but I think the meeting’s over,” Peter pointed out from his place on the ceiling as the men gaped at the presence of him, but Kingpin nostrils flared up as he looked at Peter with fury. 

Peter didn’t need to say anything, without hesitation, you pointed your hands in front of you and blasted them with all the energy that you could reach. Felicia easily ducked your shot, but it hit a few men and The Architect then The Prowler, and then Kingpin, who were sent backward against the main entrance of Grand Central.

The bullets started to be fire at you and Peter, but you quickly activated the small missiles that immobilize a few men, who quickly fell on the floor with a groan, as you kept firing at the ones that were coming after you while Peter was trying to avoid the bullets as swiftly and rapidly as he could.

“Peter, we need to get the civilians out,” you stated as you quickly took a guy by the neck as threw him against more men that were firing at you. “And get out as soon as possible with that case.”

“On it!”

Peter began to swing his way towards the Information booth, case in hand and avoiding the few bullets that the men tried to fire at him before you knocked them unconscious with a blast or throwing them away with your own hands or shocking them with electricity, anything before a bullet could reach Peter. You tried your best to keep up with them, but you weren’t sure how many there were, they just kept coming after you and you weren’t catching anything about Kingpin, the Prowler, or the Architect and then you heard Peter’s groan.  

Peter managed to reach the booth, flipping backward and taking the men that were surrounding the people who were trying to cover themselves from the bullets. Peter was sure he could lead them to one of the sides exits without harm as you kept avoiding men firing at him since they were focused on you but before he could say anything, he fell from his web and landed on his side, harsh, his head foggy from the impact on the marble beige floors and he looked up to see Felicia landing next to him as she tried to snatch the case from his hand. 

“Not in the mood for games, Spidey,” Felicia hissed but Peter didn’t care.

“Me neither, Kitty,” Peter growled as he kneed her in the gut and rolled backward, sending Felicia away from him, her claws leaving marks on the case. 

Peter quickly looked back at you, while you sighed in relief as you continue to fire at the men and gave him a nod. You flew from your point and directed the men to chase you, the opposite way from where the information booth was. It wasn’t a great move because you were now against sword and wall, but you didn’t care as you started to see how Peter was sending people towards another exit while he tried to block any upcoming bullets that could harm them. 

But then, Felicia came back again. 

Peter could hear the screams of the people and his Spidey senses went off, he ducked Felicia’s kick for a second but not her hand, she quickly got him by the neck and threw him against the floor. More people seemed to run away as Felicia and Peter struggled with the case, but then Peter shot his web towards her eyes and Felicia growled as she tried to take it off. Peter kicked her off him, which sent her stumbling backward as Peter shot a web to the ceiling and rose from the floor, he quickly swayed and with all his force and tried to kick Felicia once more, hoping it would be it but before Peter realized, Felicia jumped and climbed on his same web, quickly cutting it off and holding into the case. 

Both landed on the marble with a loud thud, breathing heavily and glaring at the other. Although this time, Felicia’s hand was the one on the case, she groaned as she tried to get up but before she could, you were firing at her from afar. You were almost done with the men that were still going after you but there were a few now, most of them on the floor, causing the beige floor to disappear thanks to the bodies that laid on them. 

You had turned towards the information booth after the thud, and you realized that the people were gone from there.

“HAPPY, they are out?” you asked your AI as you looked at Felicia trying to stand up. 

“Yes, Miss Stark, and ” your AI stated calmly and before he could say something else, you were firing at her. 

It wasn’t like you were exactly pointing at her, you couldn’t. It didn’t matter exactly what she had done and the resentment that you were feeling, there was no way that you could hurt Felicia. You tried to fire at crucial points that could make her disoriented enough for Peter to lose her, which was your goal. 

Peter quickly stood up and webbed Felicia’s foot to the floor, causing her to fall on the ground once more and to duck one of your shots close to her. She turned around to break the web but before she could, Peter shot another web towards the case and pulled it back towards him. 

“y/n, we need to go, it’s done” Peter insisted as he shot a web and pulled himself towards the ceiling, he crawled to the hole that you had made to enter Grand Central in the first place. 

“You have the case?” you asked him, breathing heavily as your eyes went to look for where Peter was. 

“I got it, y/n come on it’s dangerous,” Peter insisted as you finally realized where he was, you sighed as relief washed over your body. 

Peter was okay, he had fought against Felicia and he was okay, he wasn’t knocked out or shot, he was right there in front of you. People were out, Peter was saved and the mission was done, it caused you to smile. 

“Let’s- AHHH!”

Peter’s heart stopped as he gazed back at where you were flying but you weren’t there anymore. You were being thrown like a rag doll by The Prowler. Your body crashed against the marble main stairs and you fell, landing on the ground, breaking the marble with a loud crashing sound.

“Y/N!” Peter cried from where he was and he shot another web, going down to where you were but before he could reach you, Felicia tackled him into the opposite side from you.

He was away from you and you felt it. 

Saying that you were slightly foggy at the moment was an understatement. Your head was throbbing as each second passed and you were holding the place where you had been shot instinctively, you weren’t sure if the internal stitches were breaking but something didn’t feel right. 

But then you opened your eyes and you turned your head towards where the slight sound was coming from, although it seemed so far away because of the impact. You saw Peter and Felicia, he was fighting her off with all his force, you could tell because you knew by heart how he used his webs when he was trying to immobilize people so he could go away, because you saw the urgency in his movements but he wasn’t doing much better, Felicia was counterattacking at the same pace. But then his gaze fell back to yours, even with masks, you knew he was looking at you and in which way.

It sent a shiver down your spine. 

You didn’t want to be this, you weren’t done yet, you weren’t the one who needed saving. You had spent so much time admiring the people who you believed were fearless; Tony, Charlie, Pepper, Felicia that you hadn’t even realized that you could be fearless. 

Just as Peter saw you, and it fueled you. 

You screamed as you tried to stand up, ignoring the pain as you quickly fired at Felicia and then turned as you heard The Prowler’s characteristic energetic sound next to you, before he could attack you, you shot him with a continuous ray. 

“Can’t you just fuck off?” you screamed, as you continue to tirelessly fire at him with your repulsors and elevating yourself a bit. Even though you knew you were reaching half of the energy on the suit, you didn’t care, it was throwing him off his game.

But then you stopped and The Prowler took advantage. He jumped up, grabbing you quickly by the throat and bringing you back down to the ground, he threw you, causing you to groan as you rolled over just in time for his gauntlets to barely miss you as he pierced the ground. 

Standing back up, your reflexes reacted before you could as you caught his hand between yours, as he tried to punch you again with the electricity, gasping in awe that you were able to catch it and hold it long enough for him to snarl at you as he tried to recover his hand. Having his gauntlet so close made you realized for the first time how energy-based his suit was, you hadn’t even really thought about it and something clicked on your mind. 

But before you could say anything to Peter, The Prowler grabbed you by the neck with his other hand as he raised you from where you were standing.

“Say goodbye, Stark” 

It was the first time you had heard The Prowler’s robotic voice and you weren’t sure how you felt about it. Granted, he didn’t even give you much time to think as he squeezed your neck tighter and you started to feel how the nanobots were being crushed as well. 

Peter barely ducked another one of Felicia’s kicks when his Spidey senses started to go off, which he considered strange given that he was already in a battle. But then he looked back at you, in the air, trying to take off The Prowler’s hands from you as the nanobots from your helmet wore off so you could breathe, but you were already turning purple. 

“Y/N!” Peter screamed but Felicia threw him on the ground, he closed his eye, ready to receive another punch but there wasn’t anything. Peter opened his eyes to see that Felicia had disappeared and he turned to see how she was running towards you and The Prowler.

And he was in shock. 

Felicia, without hesitation on her step, flew up into the air and with her two legs, kicked The Prowler on the chest. Effectively removing his hold on your neck and sending him stumbling backward before she landed next to you and turned over your body. 

“y/n, are you okay?” Felicia’s voice seemed wobbly as she gazed at you caringly. “Breath, please” she pleaded with her trembling lips, her fingers trailing your cheek. 

You took a deep breath and soon, you were coughing as you tried to raise from your place as Felicia helped you stand up, your eyes locked with Felicia’s and she simply smirked. 

“What are you doing?” you croaked as you tried to clear your throat, it was sore but it was okay enough for you to talk to Felicia.  

Felicia shrugged slightly as she fixed her hair and wipe out some of the dirt from her face, it was so weird that Felicia wasn’t as pristine as she always looked in a fight, she usually avoided any type of real damage because of how good she was. But you could see it in her eyes, how she was trying to avoid your gaze, how she was somehow regretful of what she had done. 

“I told you I was going to be on the right team,” she answered, her voice small, knowing that you were caught off guard from her sudden change of heart but Peter didn’t even give you time to think about it. 

Peter crashed against your body as he ran towards you, he cupped your face removing some strands of your hair and looked into your eyes frantically, and engulfed you in his arms. The redness on your face was dialing down but the previous cut you’d had on your eyebrow was starting to bleed again, now dripping down your neck. He could see the redness on your eyes and he knew well enough that if Felicia hadn’t had a change of heart, you might’ve been hurt. 

“Peter,” you gasped as you took his hands off your face and laced his fingers with yours, squeezing your hold on him, assuring you that you were fine. 

“I’m here, I’m right here,” Peter’s words stumbled against one another as he tried to keep checking on you, he could see the red blotches around your neck, he caressed them slightly, already turning a dark purple that was tainting your skin. 

He quickly cradled the back of your head with one hand and wrapped his arm tightly around your waist with the other, pulling you into him in a breath. His heart was pounding in his chest, you could feel it and you’d like to think that you were on the same beat. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Felicia cleared her throat as Peter and you pulled away to see what she was talking about, while she rolled her neck, prepping. “We’ve got company”

You turned to where Felicia was looking, The Prowler standing up and recharging his gauntlets with a swift movement of his arms as he walked towards the three of you, a menacing aura around him as all of you gave a step back. 

“Peter, you still have taser webs?” you asked softly as The Prowler came closer to you, the nanobots covering your face again. 

“Yeah, why?” Peter answered as he took a hold of your hand with his free one, and held the case closer to him. 

“Shoot him when I tell you and let me know when it hurts,” you said calmly as you quickly snatch the case away from Peter and ran the opposite way, Peter turned around and started to the web The Prowler up, who was trying to catch Peter, as he swung from his place next to Felicia and tried to drive him away from you. 

“What about me!?” Felicia whined but you weren’t paying attention to her, but the repulsor in front of you. She sighed, annoyed at your demeanor but her attention was caught by the few Kingpin soldiers that were still around, the bullets were raining towards you but Felicia stretched her arms and with one swift movement her claws appeared and she started to take them down one by one.

You quickly took the gauntlet and the nanobots from one of your hands disappeared, so you could place it on. The waves of energy that you remember going through your body seemed a bit destabilize than the last time you had used it, maybe because Felicia had used it prior -although on a smaller scale- but you knew it you fire at the right scare, the repercussions of the blast would be bigger. Harley and Tony had been working on stabilizing the energy and you hoped that it had worked as you stood up and pointed at The Prowler.

“Spidey, now!”

Peter gave a swift backflip and landed next to you, The Prowler jumping in the air to attack him but Peter managed to shot a taser web on his chest before you fired at The Prowlers’ chest and to the web. The sheer amount of energy coming from your hand started to send your body backward but you buried your hills into the marble, trying to stop you from missing balance as you saw a bright light surrounding The Prowler who seemed frozen in time as the waves of electricity shocked him. 

All the energy from the repulsor was focusing on the webs and the Prowler himself but also, it started to reach Peter. Peter’s arms were shaking as he tried to stand his ground next to you, but he was starting to feel the residual energy coming from the blast, his legs shaky. He wasn’t hurt per se but he was starting to feel how his web-shooters were growing hot, sparkles coming from them, and then his whole wrist started to tickle which then simply started to burn. And then you felt it too, you weren’t sure if it was properly calibrated for how long you’d been using it, maybe Harley and Tony weren’t thinking that it would have such a prolonged use and now you were feeling the consequences as sparkles started to appear on your hand too.  

“AAAAHHH!” Peter screamed as you started to see smoke coming from the web-shooters and The Prowler itself, you quickly stopped the beam and saw how The Prowler fell and landed on his knees, smoke coming from his whole body but the purple energy of his suit seemed to be gone, then he fell onto the ground face first. 

You walked slowly towards The Prowler, there were still sparks and small lightings surrounding his body, causing him to spam once in a while, but other than that he was out. You turned surprised, you and Peter had done it, you had glitched his program with the energy from the repulsor but then you saw Peter on the ground, breathing heavily as he tried to take off the smoking web shooters on his hands. 

“You had to tell me if it hurt!” you reproached him as you kneeled in front of him, to check if he was fine. There were a few marks on his wrist, they were red, some already white, and with a bit of blood. Before Peter could say anything, you sprayed him with your free hand some of the regenerating liquid that you had installed on your suit since your incident. 

“It’s okay,” Peter muttered as he looked up at you slowly as you took his hand on yours, cradling it for a bit. If you could only take off your masks, you thought to yourself as Peter squeeze your hand in his. “I feel better now,” he added softly as he reached for one of his web-shooters but you held one of his hands and then Peter felt his heart pounding on his chest, as well as yours. 

You shuddered as you realized how you were holding onto him for dear life, you weren’t sure what it meant yet but there was something that had shifted. 

You wanted to say something, anything to him but before you could, Peter quickly pulled you to his right, effectively dropping you to the floor before he fired a web towards one of the remaining men who were pointing at you from behind. 

Peter took his other web shooter and raised it from the floor. “We’ll talk later, I’m fine!” Peter yelled as he swung his way towards where the men were standing with their guns, kicked them in the chest, and quickly broke the machine guns they had on their hands.

You shook your head with a smile but then your eyes landed on Felicia, as she swiftly slid on the ground under one of the men before she hit him on his balls, the man quickly bent over from the pain which allowed Felicia to use him as a base to throw herself towards another man, she wrapped her legs around his neck with so much force and swiftness that it took the man by surprise and she quickly threw him to the ground next to you.

She looked towards you and shrugged, as she saw you watching the unconscious man. 

“What?” She asked as she walked towards you with a cat-like-grin, smugness dripping from it. 

“Nothing,” you grumbled as you took of the repulsor from your hand, not wanting to make any mistakes with it, and quickly locked it in the case as Felicia stood behind you. 

“I told you that I was going with the team that-” Felicia said but you quickly cut her off before she could say anything else as you fired towards a couple of the men that wanted to fire at you from the iconic (now destroyed) stairs.

“Yeah, the one that was going to help you survive, got it” you grumbled as you walked away from her and you kept blasting some of the men who had managed to dodge your shots.  

“No, y/n,” She said as she took your hand and pulled you towards her, making you turn around and look at her. Felicia looked at you seriously, almost as if was looking at your eyes through the mask. “You are my team” 

You felt your heart twisting on your chest, it lingered for a moment and you felt a jolt cursing to your body at the thought of Felicia feeling something about you. It was dizzying and confusing, the way she pushed you but pulled back and it hurt because you didn’t know if she was honest. But it didn’t matter much at the moment as you felt a blast of energy on your back, sending Felicia and you flying away, you landed meters away and the purple energy stopped, you turned to see Kingpin firing you from the stairs, coming for the case that was close to you.

His rigid cords in his neck, his bulging bestial eyes, red face, and clenched jaw; letting you know that he was beyond angry and you felt his fury from where you were standing. Kingpin until now had remained somehow calmed, but now it was a different story. 

His movements seemed chaotic as he tried to recharge the weapon on his hands while climbing down the destroyed stairs, towards you. His usually sharp suit seemed in disarray and tainted some of the blood that was falling from his nose from the blast you had fired at him but he didn’t sustain any other injuries, most importantly his eyes were wide-open, a storm of rage in them, he seemed overall unhinged. 

Which was never a good sign on someone who was firing at you with an alien weapon. 

Before you could push Felicia away, he fired the purple beam again, which you had become used to by now and the nanobots quickly created a shield that you placed forward with your forearm. Felicia behind you as you tried to shield her as best as you could from the energy, knowing it was very likely that she could be exposed to the energy and have highly damaging burns on her skin. 

Peter finished with, what he thought, was the last of the soldiers from Kingpin as he quickly webbed his hand into the wall and then punched him in the face for good measure. Then he felt his spidey senses go off, he saw how Kingpin recharged the alien gun and then quickly fired at you before he could even scream your name again. It seemed almost automatic how Peter fired one of his webs to the roof and swung with no problem towards where Kingpin was, he quickly webbed the gun and pulled it from Kingpin’s grasp, as he quickly taped it to the roof.

“No, sorry” Peter yelled as he swung towards Kingpin, who was trying to search for Peter as he turned around and Peter quickly kicked him in the face. “That’s cheating,”

Kingpin had this angered look as Peter landed next to you, helping both Felicia and you stand up, and then he started to walk towards you. You watched him and felt the anger filling your body, you had been so afraid of Kingpin, of how calculated he was, how cold and simply maliciously he acted. But now, as you watched him get closer and closer to you, you realized that he might not be as invincible as you’d thought he was.

You began to fire your repulsors against him, nonetheless, with the lack of energy from your suit, HAPPY was doing its best to reserve the energy that you had left. Therefore, Kingpin wasn’t falling back, he could withstand the shots that were hitting him and you swallowed hard as you realized that it wouldn’t be that easy.

“Fire at him with the repulsor!” Felicia shriek as she gave a few steps back while Kingpin got closer. 

“I can’t!” you replied giving a few steps back while your eyes still lingered with Kingpin’s who was grinning devilishly at you. “It’s not calibrated, it can explode and kill us all.” 

“We need to go hand in hand with him,” Peter said as he took your hand and pulled you back, he quickly took the case and threw it against one column, webbing it tightly and high enough for no one to reach it except for him. 

“What!?” Felicia and you yelped at the same time while looking at Peter. 

“If we do it together, we can defeat him. All of us,” Peter said as he turned to see Felicia, who was already in a defense position. 

She swallowed hard as she looked at both of you with a bit of incredulity dripping from her eyes. “Just try to stay away from the fists,” she muttered before you turn to fire and him once more with the repulsor and Felicia ran towards Kingpin and Peter started to swing towards him. 

You weren’t able to see much of what Felicia and Peter were doing, as your beams shined so bright towards Kingpin that you had to look back. You just saw her hair and Peter jumping from side to side, it seemed like a gymnastics show for Peter, both (Felicia and him) trying to avoid Kingpin’s larger-than-life fists. She kicked him in the chest, Peter in the face, and then Felicia gave one blow to one leg causing him to bow down for one second. 

But then your normal repulsors went out, the bright light stopped coming from your hands and it was the chance that Kingpin was waiting. Before Peter could react, he saw how Kingpin took with just one hand Felicia’s leg and flung her into the air, her body bouncing against one column of the station and then falling into the ground. 

He had flickered her like a fly. 

“Hardy!” you screamed as Felicia groaned on the floor, struggling to stand up. 

Peter tried to swing one more time to take another hit at Kingpin so you could check on Felicia, but before he reached Kingpin, something broke his web, Peter managed to land on the floor without much trouble but he looked up into the stairs to see The Architect. He was bloody, rage making his whole body vibrate and clearly disturbed as he held a rifle that he probably took from the injured soldiers and pointed it at Peter. 

“That’s for how you left me at the club, you insect!” he yelled as he started to fire again and Peter avoided the bullets skillfully, but it was raft after raft and he knew he couldn’t bring that to you or Felicia, so he decided to deal with it. 

You had heard The Architect screaming but you tried not to mind it as you shook Felicia’s shoulder, trying to wake her up from her foggy state. 

“Are you okay?” you asked her as you cupped her face in your hand, Felicia wasn’t completely there but she nodded slowly. You sighed in relief and let out a small laugh, Felicia smiled at you too. 

Felicia’s smile froze time for a moment, it was simple, it wasn’t meant to be more and you knew it but there was complicity between you two and you felt it. It was weird, loving-and-hating someone in such a small amount of times, it was a rollercoaster, unpredictable, the longing stares, the highs, and the lows. It was Felicia. 

And then there was a strong grip on the back of your neck. 

You let go of Felicia as you flipped over with the rockets on your feet and landed in front of Kingpin. Without any thought, you quickly threw a jab to his jaw, which clearly hurt as you heard the frustrated scream. Then, you tried to shoot your repulsors but before you were able to fire them at him, he grabbed both of your hands with his large fists, and then you felt the pressure, then the pain, the small crack of the nanobots, and then from your hand as he crushed them underneath his own. 

“STOP!” You screamed with pain tinted all over your voice but then he sucked in a breath, reared back, and then head-butted you as hard as he possibly could. 

It hurt, you saw the red lights on the screen of your suit as you stumbled back and fell to the ground, you were pretty sure that you had more than one concussion. You tried to stand up but Kingpin threw an uppercut towards you that you couldn’t dodge, sending you flying once more into the ground. You groaned on the floor, your knees buckled and fell forward, you could feel the taste of the blood coming from your nose into your mouth. You were aware that Kingpin was vicious but it was becoming too much, he was way too focus on you, on killing you. 

“You have cost me enough, Miss Stark,” Kingpin spat as he got closer to you, his voice ricocheted on the walls and you tried to move, somewhere anywhere away from him. But he reached you once more, you felt another blow to your ribs now and then it smashed into the ground, you groaned as you rolled into your back and coughed. Alarms on your suit were going off and now you were more than disoriented. 

Your whole body hurt and you were feeling exhausted. All the pain, the anxiety, the anger, the frustration- everything seemed to be coming down on you at once, and it was drowning you. It was useless now, you could feel the pain and the weight of so many injuries you had sustained that same day, you could feel the thick wetness of your blood on the side of your head, the incessant pain from your gunshot injury, and the general pain coursing through your body. You tried to crawl your way away from Kingpin but before you could, he grabbed you from your arm and hip, he raised your body, picked you up easily, and then threw you once more against a wall. 

Your body was smashed against the marble once more and the pain almost became unbearable, your helmet filling up with blood as you spit it out. The nanobots quickly disappeared from your face as you coughed out blood that fell into the white marble as you looked back to Kingpin. 

“The Avengers will drop one by one,” he roared, stepping over you and lifting you up by the neck. You struggled, your hands trying to take off Kingpin’s hold on you but now it seemed hopeless as he held you high. “This end, this little game of yours ends now.”

You watched the statistics on your screen, knowing that you still have somethings left to use but you weren’t sure if they would work. You looked back at Peter, trying to find him, you saw the black and red colors moving near the stairs, the gunshots sounded far away and the overwhelming need to cry flooded your body. 

It dawned on you, that maybe it was the last time you would ever see him, the last time you would ever see his chocolate eyes and caramel curls, his galaxy of freckles, his scent of cinnamon and honey, you realized that it was all you wanted if it was your last moment. There was almost a primal instinct of reaching towards him, you raised your hand and tried to reach to where Peter was, but Kingpin realized it. 

A malicious grin appeared on his face. “You’re weak, what even made you think that you could defeat me?”

Your eyes locked with Kingpin’s and anger fill your body, you weren’t sure if you were shaking because of the pain or because of the rage that you felt by seeing his shit-eating-grin. You had tried to prove a point for so long, you had tried to protect The Avengers, your family, and in doing so, the rest of the world. If you had to die for Kingpin to be caught so be it, for a second you weren’t afraid anymore, anger and calm washed over you. There was no point denying the inevitable, you felt calm and collected

“You’ll never win, you’ll end up in jail as all the others,” you spoke up softly as the hold on your neck became tighter and tighter. You could hear the slight crack of the already damaged nanobots thanks to The Prowler's previous hold. 

Kingpin chuckled to himself as he looked at you. “I guess you won’t be there to see it,” he answered maliciously and you felt the grip breaking completely the nanobots on your neck. 

You didn’t know if it was peace washing over you or the lack of oxygen because of Kingpin’s grip on your neck, but you close your eyes and took a deep breath. You felt content, death wasn’t scary and you knew it, what just bothered you at the end, was that you had to go without Peter holding you.  

Goodbye Peter, you thought to yourself. 

“Leave her alone!” you heard Felicia’s silvery voice as she roared, Kingpin turned around and you opened your eyes to see a flash of silver hair and a black suit, squaring Kingpin right on the face and slashing his face with her claws. He stumbled by the sheer force of the attack, the deep cuts she had made on his skin and he let go of you in the process, you fell into the ground, coughing as you tried to get as much air in your lungs as you possibly could. 

Felicia’s claws seemed more pronounced than ever, you could see the strength on her kicks and hooks, how she flipped and roll in the ground as she ended with Kingpin, as she turned around you could see the fire in her eyes, the sheer anger she was feeling from what she had believed were your last moments. There wasn’t any hesitation on her steps as she kicked and flipped, Kingpin now with multiple scratches on his hands and suit, the most pronounced ones were three nasty cuts that were bleeding all over his face. 

She was defending you. 

“HAPPY, you have some of the regenerate spray left?” you groaned as you leaned into one of the closer columns before you were pouring some of the liquid in the cuts on your face as you tried to stand up on your wobbly legs so that maybe you could help Felicia, but as you did, you heard her yelping. 

You raised your eyes to see how Kingpin grabbed Felicia by the neck as he was dodging some of her moves and he flung her again across the station. It wasn’t as hard as before and somehow Felicia managed, like a cat, to land on her feet. 

Felicia hissed at Kingpin and started to run towards him to end what she had started, a slight frown on her face and narrowed eyes. But before she could reach him, Kingpin took from his blazer a small gun, one that you hadn’t detected, it was a usual one but Felicia didn’t have time to react completely. The gunshot ricocheted all over the station, along with Felicia’s shriek as she fell to the ground, grabbing her side. 

“No, no, no,” you mumbled as you tried to walk towards Felicia as fast as you could, but Kingpin heard you, he turned around to watch your desperation, and he grinned. He quickly recharged his weapon and before you reached Felicia, you heard his ominous voice. 

“Say goodbye to Miss Hardy, Stark.” Kingpin said before he fired again. 

“NO!”

The gunshot sound left a ring on your ear, you didn’t know if it was because you were too close or because you were in a state of shock. There was a flash of red and black passing in front of Felicia, and then the thud of a body falling into the floor close to her. 

There was no screaming coming from Peter, he simply fell to the floor as he let go of the web while he held his chest. He was lying motionless in front of you and your body felt rigid as you fell to your knees, you crawled over to him, tears already streaming down your face as you pulled his mask off and you nearly screamed as you picked him up into your arms, you felt your chest shaking as you felt like your mind couldn’t fucking grasp what you were seeing. 

“Peter, no, oh god, no, no, no,” You muttered to yourself, it was almost incomprehensible as you looked at Peter, who had his eyes closed for a second. “Not you, not you, Peter, come on”

You tried to shake him, scrambling towards him and pulling him onto your lap as tears streamed down your face without an inch of self-control. Your hands were shaking as you stared at Peter, as you caressed his face and you started seeing the blood coming from his chest, tainting the red and black suit. There were two bullet holes on his suit, Peter was bleeding out in front of you and you tried your best to remain calm but you were almost shaking uncontrollably. 

But then Peter grasped your hands softly, he was so patiently trying to calm you down by holding you tightly that you couldn’t even believe it. His eyes fluttered open and you could see hot-tears threatening to fall from his eyes as they locked with yours. 

He will always be there, you thought to yourself as you recalled what he had said before this mess. 

The way your chest felt like it had a grown a dark hole was something that you’d never thought you had experienced. You’d never, and truly never felt such despair, ever. You felt your mind going haywire as you saw how blood started to expand on Peter’s chest, your shaky hands tried to somehow cover the blood, it was irrational how you tried to stop the bleeding, but you quickly sprayed the regenerative cradled liquid that you had left, you were hoping it was enough, you were praying it was enough. You were erratic as you tried to spray more and more from the liquid, knowing that it maybe wouldn’t be enough. 

“Peter?” you whispered, pressing your lips to his ear as you curled up around him. You began to move back and forth, as the tears started to taint Peter’s face too, you pressed your forehead to him as you held him tighter. “Not like this, not like this,” you sobbed out. 

You were clinging onto him and he was doing the same, he was your center of gravity and you were his.

You could feel Peter’s eyelashes against your skin, you raised your head as you looked into him deeply. Eyes locking like the first time you’d met all those years ago, on a sunny afternoon in the lab. Where somehow Peter deeply knew that you were destined to be together, that you were his sunshine, his reason, his everything, he had doubted it for so long that he now felt stupid.

He realized now, as he was feeling somehow how the life was draining for him, as he felt his own blood pouring out of your body, that it was obvious that you were meant to be. He had been so stupid for letting you go, for not telling you how he felt when he could, for wasting time on others that were clearly not the right choice for the other. He wished that he had kissed you more that night, he wished that you would’ve to fight less, he wished that you would’ve spent more time together, he wished time. 

But he didn’t seem to have more. 

You didn’t know it was even possible for someone to convey so much love into one gaze, but Peter didn’t have to talk for you to know what he was saying. You understood completely because you knew Peter like the back of your hand because he was your center, he was gravity and everything pulled you back to him. It would be foolish to think that you could somehow avoid it, your feelings and now you felt so stupid for doing so. He had hurt you so much and you had decided to be hurt for so long, that it all now seemed stupid.

You knew what he meant, and you hoped he knew what you meant. 

 But Peter knew that if he didn’t say it know if he didn’t really speak then it would be left as a secret on his soul, he didn’t want that. 

He didn’t want to die before you knew before you truly knew. 

“It’s,” Peter started to mumble, but he coughed some blood. You tried to hush him but he shook his head softly as you cupped his cheek. “It’s you, it has always been you,”

A loud sob broke your chest and you were shaking uncontrollably, you were sure you heard how the black hole of despair was widening as you heard his words. You tried to hold onto him for dear life, you felt like you were going to drown in sorrow, how could you ever live in a world without Peter Parker?

“Don’t leave me, Peter,” you whispered as you pressed your forehead against him, your tears mixing with Peter’s as he shivered at your touch. “You were mine too,” the sob broke you as you cried along with Peter, who then closed his eyes. 

It dawned on you that it was the last time you were going to be with Peter and you simply screamed at the sky, the cry ripped your chest and it even felt like it ripped the moon, as you felt like you were going to pass out as the sobs started to come out of you shamelessly. The cries were so raw and torn, they seemed to tear you open as you pulled Peter closer, realizing that you couldn’t live in a world without Peter Parker. 

“I’m sorry,” you heard Felicia whispering, tears streaming down her eyes as well as she got closer to you, you raised your eyes to see how she was bleeding a bit, she had been grazed by the first bullet but she hadn’t been shot. 

And then you heard the deep laugh coming from far away, you turned to see Kingpin’s satisfied expression as he watched the three of you on the floor. 

“This is where I leave you,” Kingpin said before he tried to somehow clean his suit and then started to walk towards where the case was, taking the gun in his hand, he seemed ready to grab the case by shooting at the web. 

And then your heart broke because this wasn’t the way it would end. This wasn’t it; Peter couldn’t die and Kingpin couldn’t win. 

Although Peter seemed unconscious, you could still listen to the faint beat of his heart, you knew that his modified DNA was still working to somehow fix the wound, that maybe the little regenerative liquid was working too and you knew that if he got the right medical attention, he could even make it. 

You grabbed Felicia’s hand and pulled her close to you, glaring at her as tears were still streaming down your face. 

“Felicia, take Peter to Stark Tower,” you ordered her, between sobs. “You have to take him, now.”

“What?” Felicia asked confused as she wiped the tears from her face, her voice wobbly and she almost instinctively gave a step back, as if she was afraid of the heaviness of the task that was being given to her.  

“He sacrificed himself to save you,” you answer back as you pulled Felicia forward by her hand and started to hand Peter’s motionless body to her. Felicia’s eyes seemed to be full of panic as you started to let go of Peter, giving him to her and then you looked directly into her eyes. “If you’re on my team, you need to save him.”

Felicia stuttered for a moment, but no words came out of her mouth as she stared into your eyes. But you didn’t budge, you didn’t change your expression or the seriousness of it, Felicia needed to go with Peter, now. 

It seemed like you had stopped breathing for a second as you waited for Felicia’s reaction, you knew that if she cared about you, she would do it and you hoped that she did. You were starting to panic but before you did, Felicia took all Peter’s weight and leaned him into her, holding him by his torso and placing his hand over her shoulders. 

“Do what you need to do,” Felicia answer as she took out her white whip and quickly latched it into one of the balconies, ready to get Peter out from Grand Central. You sighed and nodded, you turned to look towards where Kingpin was, ready to fire at the case, but before you turned completely around, Felicia interrupted you. “Stark, be careful?”

You simply nodded as you wiped the tears away from your face while Felicia climbed to the balcony with Peter in her arms, she didn’t look back as she carefully took Peter’s body and got out through the main doors of the Station. You turned to see Kingpin, you sighed deeply as your helmet close again, the red alarms still on the screen in front of you, along with the reminder that you were low on energy. 

“HAPPY, what do we have left?” You asked as you cracked your neck, the pain was still coursing through your body but at the moment you didn’t care much, your mind was too busy crafting a plan to get rid of Kingpin. 

“Miss Stark, you shouldn’t be using the repulsors cannon, or energy blasters or energy blade or-” the AI started but you interrupted as you started to limpidly walk towards Kingpin. 

“Yeah, I get it, no energy. Can you tell me if we have something that works?” you asked as you wince at the sound of the bullets crashing against the marble, ready to cut the case from where it was.

“You have the shoulder-formed micro-missile launcher ready and the zero canons, along with some other smaller missiles” the AI informed you. 

“Good, start firing them and safe the repulsors to lift me up when we are close enough,” you stated as you closed your eyes for a moment, you took a deep breath and before you knew it, you were running alongside the missiles, ready for whatever would come your way. 

Kingpin didn’t see it coming, he barely reacted since he had been too busy with shooting the case, which was already budging. He turned around with a frown, only for it to turn into a wince as he tried to avoid the missiles and it sent him flying backward. You were livid as you shot three quick rapid-succession smaller missiles that hit Kingpin, you heard his angry screams as you got closer to him. You quickly reached the column where the case was and without doubting it once, with the little energy you had left you flew to catch it with a quick jump that allowed you to rip the case from the wall, breaking a little bit while on it.

Though it didn’t last long as you landed almost abruptly on the floor, it wasn’t your best landing and your wounds were killing you, but you didn’t care. You knew that you had to get out of there with the case, otherwise it would turn ugly. You turned around to gaze at Kingpin who was starting to stand up but before he could, you quickly fired at him the last bit of energy you had with one of your repulsors. 

“You can’t hurt the people I love and get away with it,” you screamed before you started to run away from Kingpin, your eyes on the stairs, ready to get out of there. 

But then, you felt the loud and strong steps of Kingpin running towards you, you tried your best to fly away but your suit wasn’t working anymore and you cursed mentally, knowing that it meant a change of plans, that you didn’t like as much. 

You turned at the moment when Kingpin, with his large hands, sent you to the opposite way of the door with a simple slap to your face as he reached you. You landed on the floor, head throbbing once more as you quickly took the case that had slipped from your hands for a second, you tried to stand up but Kingpin yanked your shoulder and you fell again onto the floor but with the case still in hand. 

“I tried to be patient with you little Stark,” Kingpin growled as he looked down at you, before he quickly tried to crush you beneath his fists, you quickly dodge it by rolling to your side before you opened the case but then Kingpin tried to yank your leg. “But I’ve had enough. You will die today”

You hissed at the pain on your heel and quickly kicked his face with your heel, allowing you to escape for a minute and take the gauntlet with the new repulsor before Kingpin tried to grab you again, you turned around and your hook punched Kingpin across his face. 

“I’m not little Stark,” you grumbled under your breath as you saw how Kingpin’s nose was bleeding even more profusely after your kick and your punch. His eyes were fire and his whole body was shaking with rage as he tried to wipe his nose from the blood, but the deep cuts that Felicia had done seemed to hurt him even more. “I’m fucking y/n Stark, and I’m ending this, now.”

Kingpin simply growled like an animal at your statement before he was ready to punch you one more time but before he could, you simply took a deep breath and felt the unbalanced energy that was focusing on your right arm. It seemed way more than ever before and you knew that by you have it, it could mean that it would end you. 

Cinnamon and honey, was the only thing you thought about before you fired at Kingpin with the repulsor, and a white light blinded you. 

And then there was silence. 

Tony was the one who found you, between the debris of the destroyed Grand Central Station, your vitals were so small that he almost missed you. He had been on Stark Tower for about forty-minutes as he tried to evacuate the guests and everyone, then he reached the penthouse where he had encountered your friends, he had asked about you but his heart had torn from his chest as he saw the state of your room. 

It wasn’t only until then that he realized that you were in trouble. 

He had flown as fasts as he possibly could when Harley had told him where you were, and he had reached the station just in time to find Black Cat carrying Peter through rooftops of the buildings, she had tried to avoid the police knowing that they were going to arrest her but also (maybe) even discover Peter’s secret identity. Felicia was struggling so much with Peter; she was crying her eyes out but without making any noise as she and Peter left behind a trail of blood. When Tony landed in front of her, she didn’t blink or seemed scared, she seemed relieved as Tony took Peter into his arms, struggling to keep it together as he saw the kid that felt like a son bleeding out in his arms. He was almost about to fly away when he realized that Felicia was hurt too, he immediately knew who she was but he didn’t say her name, he simply took her hand and then flew to Stark Tower as fast as he could before flying back and reaching the station when it blew up. 

The aftermath of the attack was greatly publicized all over the world. Every civilian was safe and no police officer that had been surrounding the perimeter and was attempting to step in was injured, Black Cat and Spiderman were recovering from their injuries, Kingpin had been found hurt but alive (incredibly) and was in a hospital before he was taken to prison and you were in a coma. 

Bruce and Dr. Helen Cho weren’t completely sure how you’d make it alive from an explosion as big as that, but everyone was grateful that you had survived without any major injuries that they could detect right away, Bruce nonetheless preferred to put you to sleep so your body could recover. 

All the Avengers had returned to visit you, to see how you were doing and even Fury who wasn’t fond of you spent a couple of hours in your room at the Medical Wing at the Compound. Tony and Pepper were on the first shift at five in the morning, then Steve and Nat, then they changed to Sam and Bucky, then Wanda and Vision, then Tony and Pepper again and then Rhodey and Bruce, Harley and Peter usually spent the night. It had been decided that you had to be on the Compound, along with Peter and Felicia to recover. It was best that you were away from prying eyes and in a place where every single person that lived there would take care of you. 

It wasn’t until a week later that you woke-up alone in your room at the medical wing. 

It was sunrise when you woke-up. The iris of fire-colored your room in the Medical wing, with a touch of golden light surrounding it. It was a cold sun of a winter morning, ones that you loved so much. You always thought that your body would be sluggish if you, by any chance, were subject to a coma but everything seemed to be dialed by a hundred as you opened your eyes and started to move. Everything ached from your injuries and the lack of movement from the past week, exhaustion also settled in your bones -even though you had been sleeping for so long-. Therefore, you had to take a minute before you decided to move again, deep breaths as the burning of your muscles continued for more than what you would like, it felt like multiple parts of your body were going to break in half. 

It wasn’t until you felt accustomed enough to the pain that your mind snapped, you realized that you were definitely alive and immediately your heart stopped on your chest. 

Was Peter alive?

“FRIDAY?” you rasped, coughing slightly at your sore and scratchy throat. You touched your neck slightly only to realize that you had bandages as well, and how they trailed down to your collarbone, torso and then you had a whole cast on your right arm. You supposed it was from the force of the explosion. 

“Welcome back, Miss Stark,” Friday said smoothly as you raised from your bed and realized, horrified, how many tubes you had around you, on your nose, a central line, and the usual IV. “Would you like me to call someone to remove some of the medical equipment?” she asked, almost as if she knew you wanted to quickly take off the tubes and IV, so you could find out what had happened with Peter.

“No,” you answered quickly as you turned to see the notes of Dr. Cho and the other medical team that was on the desk next to you. “Can I take this off myself without bleeding out Friday?” you asked as you went through the notes, reading them as fast as you could. 

You had various skull fractures, internal bleeding from your wound and you had been operated on to reinforce the stitches, you had a dislocated shoulder and a fractured arm, a broken rib even that had punctured your lung, burns on your right arm. Everything was accompanied by multiple scratches, lacerations, cuts, and bruises. You shivered at the thought of what your body had dealt with and how it could’ve been worse but your mind simply pushed it on the back of your mind as you tried your best to see how you could remove the tubes around you. 

“I wouldn’t recommend it,” Tony said as he rose from the sofa in front of you. You knew how Tony looked when he was tired or when he was concerned, but the way he was looking now was something else that you would imagine. 

Tony looked more sunken and broken than you’d ever thought possible. The deep purple bags under his eyes were something that your dad would never get, he had spent so many sleepless nights that you believed he was immune to them, his red-rimmed eyes were also something that didn’t fit with the usual image you had from Tony or the most prominent fact was the tired expression that almost forced his face down. 

And it hit you that you were the reason he looked so bad; you were somehow the reason everything had somehow turned bad. Although you didn’t know what had happened with Kingpin, you knew that Peter and Felicia had been hurt and that you had most definitely destroyed a great part of an iconic historic building. And now your dad, The Avengers, your whole family had to deal with your erratic actions, with your mistakes, with your choices. 

It felt like you were going to throw up when you realized that Peter’s death would even be your fault, guilt started to drown you. 

You cracked. 

“Dad,” you sniffled, as you cover your face with your hands in shame for what you had done, ashamed of your actions and the consequences they had, ashamed that you might be the reason that Peter hadn’t survived. 

Your whole body began to shake uncontrollably, cries coming one after the other, almost escaping your lips involuntarily. But suddenly Tony simply walked over to you, pulling you quickly into his arms and holding you close as the tears fell from your eyes. 

“I’m so sorry,” you cried against Tony’s chest. 

“Sh. y/n, it’s alright,” Tony said as he caressed your hair, but it didn’t seem to ease your crying as you held to Tony tightly. Your dad, as strict and demanding as he always had been, was also the one person you admired the most, the one that you had shaped your life after, and disappointing him hurt more than what you would’ve liked to admit before.

“I’m sorry,” you pulled away and looked up at your dad’s softened expression. You didn’t want to say the words but your mind wasn’t able to handle anything else. “Di-did Peter…”

Tony reached down and held your face as he listened to you, but he seemed rather confused until he understood what and why you were asking, you didn’t know what had happened. 

“He made it. I found them on time,” Tony said quickly to ease your concerns but it only caused you to cry, even more, gratefulness washing over your body as you realized that you hadn’t lost Peter. Peter Parker was alive and you felt like you could breathe again. “He’s in the next room, he woke up two days after everything happened, he also asked for you when he woke-up.”

You felt like putty on your dad’s arm as tears streamed down your face but now, you had a slight smile on your face as you tried to deal with the fact that Peter was okay and that he had been asking for you. It dawned on you how much you depended on Peter, how even if you knew that you didn’t need him, the thought of living in a world without Peter Parker seemed too heavy of a burden for you to handle, you wouldn’t have known how to cope, how to live.

And then your mind wandered back to the one that helped him save him. 

“And, how’s she?” you asked as you pulled away from your Tony’s arms and laid again as your dad wiped the tears away. 

“She’s good, she was ready to go since day one but she wanted to stay until you were okay,” Tony explained to you and you couldn’t help to blush like you always did when it came to Felicia, the mercurial highs you experienced when you thought about her and the meaning of your relationship. “You wouldn’t think a criminal/hero would be your type,” Tony chuckled and you giggled a bit. 

“She’s different,” you admitted as you and your dad chuckled while looking at each other but then the air turned a bit heavier as the laughs died down. Your eyes still locked and you knew that it was going to be a hard conversation. 

You had resented your dad for so long, for wanting you to be one specific way, for keeping you in a cage and you realized on your last moment that none of it was worth it. Anger washed away when you knew what you had to do, you realized that you felt sorry for how your actions had hurt others but not about doing them, you had accomplished your mission and that was all it mattered. 

“I’m sorry for everything I did, I’m sorry for lying and for making the wrong choices. I didn’t mean for any of these to happen, I just wanted to do the right thing and to show you that I’m…” you felt the knot on your throat, so familiar. For the first time in forever, it seemed to stop you as you looked at Tony. 

“Y/N, you will always be enough,” he stated softly as he caressed your hair. “Although I don’t agree with a lot of things, you did what you believed you had to do to save people. You were willing to sacrifice yourself to do the right thing and I couldn’t be prouder of you. You don’t need to prove yourself to me or to anyone, you are who you are and that makes me the proudest and happiest dad.”

You felt your lower lip wobbling, eyes filling with tears as you took his hand in yours, placing it back down on the bed as you held it tightly. You weren’t sure how it had happened, but the way peace washed over your body, how it seemed to wash the pain away, felt like something new. 

“Thank you, dad”

Tony brought Bruce and Dr. Cho after your conversation, they removed some of the tubes like the central line and the oxygen tubes, but the IV had to stay in and you were ordered to remain in bed for a couple of more hours. They wanted to do testing, check your vitals for a longer period of time, and keep you in observation longer to see if there was any problem with you. Much to your dismay. The longing of seeing Peter only grew deeper when Tony told you that he had gone to see May in Queens, he had been waiting for you to wake-up that he hadn’t even visited May after she had come by to be with him while he was out and in surgery. 

You understood the point and you decided to think something else as you were chained to your bed, the perfect distraction walked in unannounced as she usually did. 

“You know, I knew you were badass but not badass enough to destroy Grand Central,” you heard Felicia’s silvery voice from the frame of the door. 

Felicia didn’t have her suit anymore, she was wearing some mom jeans and an oversize cardigan that fitted her nicely, as everything did with her. She had a sassy smirk drawn on her face, the same coy tone that she had used when you first had met her but you could also see a striking light on her eyes that you hadn’t seen before. 

You weren’t sure what it was but it fitted her nicely. 

“Don’t need to remind me, it’s kind of embarrassing,” you groaned from your bed with a small smile. 

Felicia giggled and then walked towards you, she swiftly climbed into your bed but she stayed at the edge of it as she stared down at you. She had the same kid-like expression that she had when you had visited Coney Island together, she was bright and herself. The warmth she had brought to your life, how she had been that fearless role model that you believed you needed, she was unapologetic, and how you had loved every single moment. 

But then, her eyes turned remorseful as she detailed all your injuries. 

“I’m sorry, for everything,” Felicia said softly, her eyes down as she nervously played with her hands, taking one strand of her silver hair to the back of her ear. 

“I know,” you answered but it didn’t really seem to go through Felicia’s mind. 

“I… It didn’t start like that, I swear,” she stated grimacing, as she tried her best not to look at you. She seemed so pained at the sight of you, it made you wondered if she had been as afraid as she had been the last time. “Just, when he found out, the terms of the agreement changed and I had to choose between saving my dad and…” Felicia’s chin started trembling as she tried to keep it together.

But you tried to raise from your place and take her hand, you just couldn’t completely so you simply patted the empty space next to you in the bed. Felicia looked up and immediately crawled next to you. You could see how hard she was trying to keep her tears from falling but you knew that if you kept the conversation in the same direction, they would be staining your bed. 

“I understand, I still think that you were an asshole but I understand,” you answered as honestly as you could as you held Felicia’s hand tight, she laced her hand in yours. “Thank you for saving Peter,”

Felicia shook her head. 

“He saved me, so we are somehow even,” she answered back, somehow still having some residual jealousy from Peter, you could feel it on her voice. “I love you, y/n. You know that, right?”

It was strange hearing her said that for the first time when everything had come undone when you were simply climbing from the lowest of lows in the rollercoaster that your relationship was. It was even stranger that you were aware that you were also in love with her but knowing that you couldn’t be with her. It wasn’t like you had stopped loving her, but the idea of going back to a real relationship with her after everything that had happened, after everything you had realized, didn’t seem right. 

“I love you too Felicia, but I just can’t…” you spoke softly, as honestly as you could, and with a modulated tone that even surprised you. 

“It’s okay,” she sighed softly as she looked at your y/e/c eyes. “I knew it was never just me, y/n.” Her answer made you furrow your eyebrows as you tried to really understand what she meant with not just her, rapidly blinking as you tried to listen to her carefully. “Come on, you know what I’m talking about,” she insisted as she squeezed your hand for a second as if it was a nudge that she would usually give you. “It was never just me, you couldn’t just love me, not completely at least since the start. He was always there”

Peter’s presence in your life and, therefore, in your relationship with Felicia seemed to dawn on you. But it was strange, you always thought that Felicia was this untouchable being, that her jealousy was small but that it wouldn’t taint your whole relationship.

But it had. 

“It doesn’t mean that I didn’t or that I don’t,” you stated quickly but Felicia smiled as she placed her thumb over your mouth softly, you stayed silent as she ran her fingers through your curls. 

“I know, it’s okay Stark. I can survive,” she answered playfully, as she naturally was and her eyes gleamed with confidence. 

“You always do,” you assured her as she climbed down from the bed.

Now on the edge next to your head she leaned down placed a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth, so softly and with so much love that it was almost palpable in the air. You melted into the kiss as you leaned into her a bit more, into the cotton candy scent, you knew her by heart, all her little things and so, you knew what the kiss meant. It felt like a goodbye kiss, you could feel it by how her plump lips were purposeful and loving, but without the sheer intensity and raw want that they had before. 

You felt the knot on your throat because you knew her and what it actually meant, beyond breaking up.

“You are going to skip town?”

Felicia rose from your bed and finally let go of your hand she placed her hands on her pockets and sighed, she seemed to be choosing the correct words to actually tell you but when she looked at you again, it felt like she knew she could be honest. 

“Maybe, your dad arranged for my dad to get out the day that you woke-up. He’s being sent to a hospital and I’ll be with him for a while,” she answered truthfully and you felt your heart skipping a beat of joy as you realized that Tony had helped her and that, for what it seemed, there were no streams attached to the deal.

“Am I going to hear from you again?” you asked as Felicia started to walk towards the door, her hips going side to side and with the same confidence that she had the day you had met her. 

“Maybe,” she stated with a shrug, you rolled your eyes. 

“Don’t be a stranger,”

“Never for you, Stark” she answered honestly as she reached the door.

“Be careful, Hardy”

Felicia looked back at you with her purple-ish grey eyes and there was fondness drawn on her features, she watched you lovingly from afar and you knew it was going to be a while until you saw the girl that had put your world upside down. You were so grateful for her and for what it seemed; she was grateful for you too. 

“You too, Stark”

The rest of the day you spent between sleeping, people taking out your blood, being transported into a larger regenerative cradled that Dr. Cho had brought, and changing your bandages. But deeply, you were just anxiously hoping to see Peter at the end of the day. You were hoping that he was going to be back sooner, but each time one of the Avengers came in, they would tell you that he hadn’t arrived. 

It was frustrating and disappointing, especially when Dr. Cho and Bruce told you that although you were technically allowed to walk, you shouldn’t be walking. Therefore, there wasn’t really walking allowed until they had approved it. You fumed a bit but you tried to dial it down, being angry seemed to simply make your bones ache more. You simply asked them if they weren’t willing to let you walk, then when Peter came back, they should send him to your room immediately. 

They agreed, then you asked for sushi and to be alone, Tony was a little bit cautious but he agreed.

A couple of minutes after he left the room, you were taking a deep breath and getting ready to leap from your hospital bed. Your whole body seemed to scream as you land your feet on the cold floor, it really did felt like someone had pulled you apart and then had tried to pull you together, the gravity making your muscles burn but after a minute or two, you managed to slowly start paddling towards the door in search for Peter. 

The door opened and before you could give another step the boy with the galaxy of freckles stood before you. 

Peter still looked pale but it was miles away from how he had looked when he was bleeding out on your arms a week before. You could see between his white shirt the bandages that were wrapped around his torso and chest, it was similar to the bandages that accompanied the cast that went right up to below the elbow, and then the thick bandages wrapped around your collarbone and shoulder, just above your elbow. Both of you had small band-aids scattering over your faces and body, along with taped down gauze pads and bandages that were covering random stitches and scratches. 

You both looked like messes, indeed. You tried to recall where you had been injured the same or worse but there wasn’t any memory coming back to you as you locked eyes with Peter. Not that it matters, because at the end of the day you were the same.

“Y/N,” he smiled tiredly, teary-eyed while he realized that you were okay. 

The waiting had been killing Peter slowly. As soon as Peter had woken-up, he started to ask for you non-stopped. He had realized that you had been left alone to deal with Kingpin, that he hadn’t been there as he had promised but Tony had convinced him that he wouldn’t be there at all if Felicia hadn’t gotten him out as you had instructed her. 

Peter had, therefore, as soon as he was able to leave his bed, stayed at the foot of your bed every night. He had moved the small couch in the room next to you, so he could be as close to you as possible while Harley stayed in the larger couch that was farther away from you. By the third night, Tony had decided to move the bed from his room in the medical wing to yours every night, until he had decided to see Aunt May.

He had been on May’s apartment, the apartment where he had lived for so long having a small dinner after May had reproached him how they weren’t spending as much time together when he almost died. She felt terrible after, knowing that Peter simply didn’t want to leave your side, but he also understood May and how scared she had been. 

He didn’t have good timing though; he had left his phone in his room while he spent the day with May and he only heard him while they finish an early dinner so that Peter could go back and sleep with you. But then Tony called again and Peter caught it, you were awake. 

He had rushed to the compound only to directly find you at the door. Peter winced as he saw the multiple injuries you had, it pained him beyond what he believed to see you that way. His PTSD after seeing you get shot didn’t make it better, he remembered how scared he was about losing you, how he had been almost certain that you weren’t going to make it. And here you were not even a month after, Peter hated it. 

You didn’t react when you saw him, you knew you couldn’t open your mouth, or otherwise, you would start crying and nothing would stop you. So, you only took his hand and walked with him towards your bed, softly and quietly. Peter didn’t say anything, he didn’t want to, the silence that settled between the two of you was enough for him to know what you wanted. 

You climbed to the bed slowly, trying to be as careful as you could with your injuries but Peter didn’t wait, he picked you up easily and placed you in the bed before climbing next to you. You laid there looking up to the ceiling while Peter was curled up next to you, you took his hand again almost instantly and your legs tangled together. You breathe out slowly as you felt the warmth that you had always felt around Peter when you were together. 

And you recalled how it felt in the moments that you believed that he wasn’t there. 

“You can’t do that again,” you whispered softly without looking at Peter, eyes still trained in the roof. 

You were trying not to cry; you were done crying but it seemed almost as if all the feelings that had been bottling up on your body were finally released. You hoped that it would stop soon because it had become exhausting to feel the wave after wave of tears, anger, sadness, fear, everything. 

“What?” Peter asked shyly as he watched you softly, as his fingers daintily ran through your hair as you closed your eyes and sighed for a moment, trying to find the words that wouldn’t break your voice. 

“You can’t just…” you stuttered and Peter waited patiently as you tried to say how you felt. “You can’t just willingly get hurt.”

“I…” 

“I know that a stupid thing for me to say but you just can’t,” you stated as you felt the burning tears escaping your eyes again, while you tried with frustration to make them stop by wiping them from your face as soon as they started to fall.

Peter was at a loss of words as he watched you quietly. Hadn’t you realized why he had done it? You turned to watch Peter and your eyes locked, with your right arm, as softly and delicate as you could, you traced Peter’s features. You tried to memorize how he looked at that moment next to you, you knew that you could imagine every tiny detail of Peter’s body if you were asked to, but you wanted to keep this image in your memory. 

Something that assured you that Peter would always be there, even after the worst had happened. You felt like it was the only thing you could keep other than the feeling of being grateful to know that he was there. 

“Just, why don’t you take into account that I love you?” you pouted, chin wobbly as you recalled his blood-tainted suit and how he had told you that you were his.  “I felt so helpless holding you while I saw you leaving me and I couldn’t do anything”

Peter froze when he heard the L-word in present, his heart was hammering on his chest and he was sure that he was blushing as he gazed at you. Peter had waited years, years, to hear you say what you were saying and with the actual meaning that he wanted to hear. It wasn’t in past, it wasn’t polluted by past lovers, it was truthful and it was raw and it was everything that he ever wished for. 

“I did it because I love you,” Peter whispered softly as he shifted on the bed and got closer to you, just a breath away from you as his hand came to cup your face. “If Felicia died… I mean, she was your girlfriend. I just want you to be happy y/n, that’s all I want for you and I didn’t want you to lose her,”

It just dawned on you, how selfless the love that Peter had for you was. You had waited for years, years to hear him say that with all the raw feelings, without any other ties of past fights and hurts, without doubting it for a second. It was an honest love; it was everything you had ever wished for. 

“Thank you,” you answered honestly because you knew you would’ve been devastated if Felicia had died but you didn’t know if you would ever feel such despair as you felt when you thought Peter was dying. “But just understand that I will always be happy if you are in my life, Peter Parker,” 

Peter’s smile lit up the room as he looked at you with his bright chocolate eyes and when he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, you knew that you had reached Nirvana. He breathed life back into you with his warm and soft lips that tasted like honey and cinnamon as you tried as carefully as you could to get as close to him as possible. You had dreamed about this for so long that it almost seemed surreal that it was out, everything was done and your soul lighting up as you kissed Peter with all the energy on your body, everything that you felt was Peter Parker. You wanted to be consumed by him, you wanted to forever have Peter with you and you had never been as sure about anything before. 

“I’m always going to be here, I promise y/n”

He was warm, he was your home and you smiled as you leaned again into him. 

******

taglist: @spideylovin @fandomtrash100 @soullessbabee @liljennyx3​

******

author’s note: Okay so ONE MONTH LATER THE FINAL CHAPTER? YES. This was so hard to write and it took me like a loooooooot of time but I really hope that you enjoy it. Next week (I promise) we will have the Epilogue and I’m going to write a blurb at your request about Felicia and y/n in this universe so PLEASE if you have any request, you can tell me in my inbox and I’ll be more than happy to answer. 

This has been a ride and I’m really thankful to everyone that took the time to read this series and that were kind enough to send me feedback and comments. I really really appreciate it and you can imagine how you made my days. 

I’ll update de epilogue tomorrow and there’s a playlist that will come tomorrow pinpointing an exact scene for a song, I would like to know what you would think will happen in the Epilogue. 

please please please let me know your thoughts and opinions on this chapter and if you have ANY theories or comments I would love to see them!!! I’m already so happy with the love you have given to the last chapters, I really hope you like it!  any feedback is well received and thank you so much!

****

[heavcnslyre]

never leave me again — leo valdez x reader

in which you return from years of being missing, only to find that your boyfriend, leo valdez, has been missing as well.

warnings swearing

notes it’s been a few months since i’ve read the books so i kind of just made this my own. also this took me DAYS to write so pls appreciate it w me

events in this are not all canon

masterlist

the scent of camp half blood was familiar— yet something felt different. it had been years since you had smelt it, and being there again brought upon a feeling you couldn’t quite explain. you listened for the familiar ruffle of the trees and the rippling of the lake, but heard nothing. it was silent; eerily silent. it was the middle of summer, yet the camp was still.

although, you had been away from everything for so long, you didn’t actually know if it was summer or not. truthfully, you didn’t even know exactly what year it was.

you inched towards the entrance of camp nervously. something inside of you was scared that you weren’t even going to be let into the camp— but as you read the ancient greek at the entrance fluently and your foot went through the barrier, you instantly calmed down. the familiar atmosphere of the camp was comforting, even if you could automatically feel how different it was.

making your way to the big house, you gathered that it was still early in the morning as you saw the sun peaking out in the east. it was chilly and the grass was wet and suddenly you realized how tired you were. you wanted nothing more than to collapse into your bunk in cabin 18. your cabin was often lively, as it was common for children of hebe to enjoy parties and be social; but you only had a few siblings and you were one of the oldest. they listened to you if you asked them to quiet down, and the environment of your cabin was soothing. you found yourself longing for it on rough nights, and now that you were back, you debated on just going straight there as if nothing happened.

but, you fought the temptation and knocked on the door to the big house. you found yourself anxious for a moment that no one would be awake, but you heard movement from the inside and the door opened seconds later. you looked down and saw chiron sitting in his wheelchair. he looked the same, as you assumed he would. somehow, he didn’t look surprised to see you.

“(y/n). i thought you’d be here today,” he said, moving himself out of the way. “come in, we can talk.”

you followed him to the main table in the house and took a seat across from him. he settled his hands into his lap and studied you. suddenly aware of how you may have changed, you shifted in your seat awkwardly.

“chiron, can i ask...” you said after a moment. “how long has it been? how long have i been gone?”

“a little over two years.”

you sank down in your seat. “oh.”

“do you want to fill me in on where you’ve been, or should i tell you what happened here first?”

“oh, uh— i guess a lot of its fuzzy,” you started. “i was with hera, and she sent me to do... different quests. time doesn’t really feel real, at this point. i never got a break, i don’t think. she sent me places and i forgot a lot about... my life. and everything.”

“do you remember everything now?”

“i remember all of my life before hera— yeah,” you paused, taking it in. “but i don’t remember a lot of what she had me do, or whatever she said to me when i wasn’t off on a quest. that’s why i didn’t know how much time passed, it feels like it’s been three years and three days at the same time.”

chiron sighed. “i get that. the gods have the powers to do whatever they want to time and your memory— but they rarely use the ability. but hera, after all she’s done...”

“why is she so against demigods? after she switched jason and percy for no reason we thought she was done, why did she need to take me?”

“i guess we’ll never truly know her intentions,” chiron said. “i did assume now is when you would return, though. leo valdez is missing.”

you felt your heart skip a beat. leo. he had been a constant in your mind in the past two years that you had been gone, just like how percy explained that annabeth was all he could remember. you had started dating a few months before you disappeared. suddenly you yearned for his warmth, remembering the feeling of his arms wrapped around you. your heart ached for him for years and now that you’re home— he’s gone.

“how... how long has he been missing?” you asked. chiron frowned.

“a few months. after the war ended, he disappeared, basically into the sky. (y/n)... there’s a good chance he didn’t survive.”

you could almost feel your heart breaking, but you knew that wasn’t the main issue at the moment. you took a deep breath to gather yourself. “how’s everyone else doing?”

“it’s been rough, obviously. the prophecy of the seven was fulfilled, which was hard enough on the campers. and with leo gone... no ones sure how to continue. but, we are at peace with rome and some campers are planning on college in great rome,” chiron said, obviously proud. you smiled gently.

“thats... amazing. is everyone here now? piper, annabeth, percy and jason?”

chiron nodded. “everyone is here. it is early, though. i suggest you head to your cabin for some rest, unless you have anymore questions?”

“honestly, i have hundreds. but... my brain is foggy. i can’t really focus on anything right now so, later. later i’ll bombard you with the questions,” you joked and chiron smiled.

“go, get some rest. breakfast starts in about an hour and a half, but you take all the time you need,” you stood up.

“thank you, chiron. it’s good to be back.”

as soon as you slipped into your cabin, you felt at home. you saw your younger siblings sleeping soundly and that warmed your heart to see. they were safe; they were okay.

your bunk was obviously saved for you. there were organized bags of your stuff laying on top, and the sheets were made neatly. you could tell that no one had slept there since you left. the thought of this was bittersweet; you were happy they waited for you but... you couldn’t imagine how worried they all were for you.

the more you thought about it, the more you realized how many people could have been worried for you.

when percy and jason were switched back, everyone seemed to be at ease. the romans and greeks seemed to be getting along, and things were good... for about an hour.

you were walking around rome with leo. the seven of the prophecy had been decided; leo was one of them, you were not. this wasn’t easy for either of you, as you had recently began dating, but you both knew that this didn’t mean forever. cherishing your time together, you walked hand in hand down the beautiful streets of new rome. after a while, leo decided he was going to go check up on the argo ii, make sure it was ready for the quest to come. you kissed him goodbye, and told him to iris message you whenever he got the chance.

before you knew it, camp jupiter was being attacked. and leo was the one behind it.

you ran through the crowd, trying to push towards the ship to see what the hell was happening to leo. but the romans were angry— and you were wearing an orange shirt.

you didn’t know exactly what happened next. one second you were pushing through the crowd, the next second you woke in a bright room, hera standing over you.

thus the years with hera began. she told you that she needed you— and she’d bring you home when you were ready. she brought you places and gave you quests to do, and the more time you spent with her, the more you weren’t sure how much time had passed, and the more you forgot your real life. you were stuck in an endless loop, until this morning, where hera plopped you down right outside of camp half-blood; with a fuzzy memory and a million questions.

you woke up later to an empty cabin. it was obvious people had been in and out of it, and you wondered how everyone reacted when they saw you in your bed. you were just internally grateful no one woke you up.

after getting ready (putting on a new camp t-shirt was so refreshing) you slipped out of your cabin and out into the sunlight. at first, it didn’t register how much time had passed, because everyone was in the dining hall as they would be during breakfast. but, after examining more, you gathered that you had awoken just as dinner was starting, and you had slept all day. you stood back, taking in the familiarity of the buzz of mealtime. as you stood there, unsure on how to present yourself to the campers, you heard your name.

“(y/n)?” you looked forward to be met with the gaze of your best friend, piper mclean, standing by her table, staring at you in disbelief. “i can’t believe it.”

the entire hall hushed as everyone looked in your direction. you were suddenly aware of every little thing about yourself, and you hated the attention. but when piper rushed forward to hug you, you ignored your surroundings and let yourself feel comfort in her hug. it had been so long since you had felt so... loved. after these past couple of years, then the news that leo was missing, taking in the scent and warmth of your best friend was the most comforting thing you could imagine.

piper pulled back from your hug and studied your face. you studied hers as well, noticing everything you could; any change you could find. but, she looked almost the same. she was the prettiest person you had ever seen, and although she seemed slightly older and wiser, it wasn’t in a negative way. “are you okay?”

“i’m fine,” you said. “obviously i’m... adjusting. but, i’m okay.”

“what happened to you? where have you been?” piper asked gently.

“when the romans were angry at us, after leo...” you hesitated and piper’s expression softened. you cleared your throat. “i was attacked, or something. next thing i knew i was with hera and basically did anything she needed. i was so tired, constantly doing work for her. everything i did with her is sort of fuzzy though, just like my personal life was when i was working for her, if that makes sense.”

“hera’s the worst,” piper said. “guess switching jason and percy just wasn’t enough for her.”

you raised your eyebrows in agreement before being approached by annabeth chase, one of your other closest friends, who hugged you tightly. “i’m so relieved you’re alright.”

“back at you,” you said. percy and jason followed close behind annabeth, and you hugged both of them as well. “i can’t imagine things have been easy for you guys.”

“it’s been rough,” jason agreed. “but we got through it.”

your mind went straight to leo, and the four of them obviously noticed. piper put her hand on your shoulder and jason frowned. “hey, i’m sure he’s...”

“no,” you stopped him. “it’s fine. i... i’m really proud of you guys. seriously, saving the world and shit. that’s pretty cool.”

they all laughed which brought a warm feeling to your chest. it was going to be rough without leo, but you adored your friends. you knew they’d be there for you no matter what.

“c’mon, you must be starving,” annabeth said. “plus, i think you have a few more people to chat with.”

annabeth motioned towards your cabins table, where your siblings sat anxiously, watching you with wide eyes. you grinned at the sight and made your way over to the table, only to be met with smiling faces and lots of questions.

weeks past since you had returned to camp. you were settled back in and at ease with everything, but things still felt off. you figured it was just because you were most excited to come back to camp to see leo, but he was gone. and you didn’t even know if he was still alive.

you spent your days training and reconnecting with your friends. they had been through so much, and you couldn’t imagine how painful it was for them. they asked you questions about what you had been up to, but you weren’t able to answer them. you couldn’t remember a thing— it was like the past years had never happened. as days went on you forgot more and more about what you had done.

one morning, you stayed behind to finish cleanup in your cabin. now that you returned to camp, you returned to your position as head counselor. you were protective over your siblings (since you were the oldest), so when everyone was running late for breakfast, you volunteered to finish cleanup.

after you finished making all the beds, you fixed your hair and slipped out of your cabin. when the mess hall came into your line of vision, you paused as you saw a group of campers gathered around something. the scene was similar to how everyone reacted when you returned, and you watched curiously. but when you studied the campers who were grouped together, you realized it was a majority of the hephaestus canon who was standing. your eyes widened and you hurried forward, into the mess hall.

nyssa barrera, one of the older hephaestus kids, looked over at you and her eyes widened. she pulled a few of her siblings back to make room, and you were met with the grinning face of leo valdez.

your leo, standing there, in the flesh.

it took him a moment to see you, but when he did, his expression softened. he visibly relaxed, and his eyes studied your face. you were frozen in your spot and your eyes never left his. he inched towards you, and before you knew it you charged forward to him and threw your arms around his neck. he buried his face in your neck as he held you tightly around your waist. you took in his natural warmth and his vague scent of campfires and motor oil. he rubbed your back as you held him as tightly as possible. you never wanted to let go.

when you finally did pull back, you missed his warmth immediately. in his arms you felt safe, and that was something you had missed with your whole heart.

“are you okay?” was the first thing he asked you, tucking your hair behind your ears. you smiled at the sound of his voice. you didn’t realize how many little things you had missed.

“i’m okay. are you?”

“i’m... amazing,” he studied your face again. “gods i’ve missed you.”

“i’ve missed you too, you have no idea,” you said. your eyes drifted to a girl you didn’t recognize standing awkwardly behind leo. “who is that?”

leo raised his eyebrows and turned around to look at who you were referring to. “oh, this is my friend. calypso.”

“oh!” you said, remembering the story of calypso. “thats... hi! it’s really cool to meet you.”

“you as well,” calypso responded, her voice smooth. “leo talked about you non-stop.”

maybe it was the longing look on her face, or the fact that you had just finally reconnected with your boyfriend, but you moved towards calypso and pulled her into a hug. she tensed, but after a moment she relaxed and hugged you back. when you pulled back, you gave her a warm smile and when she gave you one back, you knew that there was no bad blood between you. calypso wanted to be loved— but she wasn’t interested in leo.

you turned around to find your way back next to leo. he watched you with a fond look on his face, and when you were closer to him, he grabbed your hand tightly. at this moment you made a promise to yourself — you would never lose him again.

chiron ended up coming over to tell people to sit at their tables for breakfast, but leo leaned over to whisper to you, “want to go chat? just the two of us?”

“absolutely.”

the two of you snuck out of the mess hall (although, if anyone had seen you, you doubted they would stop you from leaving). you made your way down towards the lake, hand in hand. you sat down next to each other, leo’s arm around your waist and your head on his shoulder.

“so how did you get calypso off her island?” you asked him after a moment of silence.

“well, i landed on her island a little while ago but i had to leave, obviously. was in the middle of a quest,” he said. “but she was miserable there, so i promised i’d come back to get her. and a few months ago, i landed on her island again, but with a plan this time.”

you listened intently. “and it worked?”

“for the most part. i had to work really hard to figure out a way to make it work, but it did. i just hope she gets a real chance to be happy now that she’s off her island.”

“that’s amazing. you did it against all odds, right?”

he chuckled lightly. “guess so. what about you? what happened to you?” you sighed and sat up to face him.

“i guess i’m not completely sure,” you started. he knit his eyebrows. “i was working with... or i guess, for, hera. but i don’t remember most of what she made me do. i just know i went on quests for her, and time didn’t really feel real. i had no idea how much time had passed when i returned.”

“gods that sounds... terrible,” he said genuinely. you shrugged.

“i got through it,” you grabbed his hand and started tracing lines on it. “and so did you.”

leo hummed and moved his other hand to your cheek. “i always knew you’d come back.”

“i knew you would, too.”

“promise to never leave me again?” you leaned into his hand.

“only if you promise me the same thing.”

[hayleygray08]

You are my home.

Introduction: this is my first writing on here. Bare with me.

Summary: you are a new member of the team after tony finds you in a hydra raid. You are shy, reserved, and not very talkative at first until you realize the team is not going to hurt you. Once comfortable you show them your powers and fall for a certain super soldier, again.

I used google translate for words in Russian, so if the words are wrong. I apologize.

In my writing, no one is dead.

Pairing: bucky x reader, everyone else is platonic.

Genre: fluff, anguish, mentions of torture, blood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am crouched in the conner,on the floor of my cell waiting for the guards to come get me. My daily training. More like torture.

They make me train as hard as I can and if they think I am slaking, I get a few thousand jolts of electricity shot through my body. Or even a few punches.

Yesterday was one of the worst days so far, that I can remember. I was getting random images flash inside my head, almost from a past life from what I saw, which made me loose focus quite a bit. In return the men who watch me train were heavy with the electricity jolts and even harder punches, anywhere they could land on my body. So, I was not looking forward to today's training.

I don't have a clock or windows in my cell but I knew every time they would come to get me. Like my body knew the exact moment every day. So when that time came and I was still in my cell I was growing a little worry. They are never late, sometimes early, but never late. Just then a siren rang out and the lights dimmed then went red. Was that the alarm for an intruder? How is that possible?

As a million thoughts ran through my head at what could possibly cause the alarm to go off. A very vivid picture or memory came to me and played on repeat. It looked to be the 40's, on a dock or a pier, I was laughing and looking out at the water. There were two guys with me. One was small, blonde hair, blue eyes, and had a small smile on his face. The second was bigger then the first, had brown hair, bright blue eyes, and laughing with me. Why do they look familiar? Why do I have two names on the tip of my tongue? Who are they? Just as I was about to say those names my cell door was blown off and there was a cloud of dust.

As the dust settles and I can properly see, there is a man in a red and gold suit of metal. He walks towards me as he says "Cap we got someone here. She looks no older then 24, covered in bruises, and looks terrified.""Yes, I'll make sure to get her out.""No, I can't tell if she is dangerous." He sighs and crouches down so he can look me in the eyes.

"Hi, I am Tony Stark, and I am going to take you away from here." Tony says and offers me a hand. I take it cautiously and follow him out the door and eventually outside.

Once we made it outside I take a deep breath. It felt so good to get clean air. I don't even remember the last time I was outside. Must have been years. I had to shield my eyes, it was so bright out. I didnt notice more people joining us. I was to busy looking at my hands and arms. Was I always this pale? I look up at the guy who took me away, Tony, and then darkness.

Tony catches me before I could hit the floor and runs into the jet. He lays be on a table and Bruce starts an examination. Nobody dared bother him. Nat hands Tony a flash drive and sits back down with the others.

While I was unconscious and now in the medbay at the compound, I was getting more images. Some are to fast to register what it was and some stayed a good while showing me a life I do not remember, but wish I did. Also things I did, hurting people, a chair, and training. It was all to much. To much pain, suffering, lose. I could feel myself have a panic attack. Which alerted everyone.

I jolted up into a sitting position clenching my chest and taking big gasps of air. My heart monitor going off like crazy. I looked around frantically, not recognizing where I was. I tried to rip out the Iv's but a pinching sensation in my shoulder makes me stop. I look up and see a women, before I am unconscious again.

Meanwhile in the common area Tony, Steve, Natasha, Wanda, Sam, Clint, Vision, Bucky, Bruce, Thor, Loki, Scott, and Peter all sat around looking at my file.

"Her name is y/n, y/ln. She was born in 1918, lived in Brooklyn, New York. Was taken by Hydra in 1946 while she was working on a S.H.I.E.L.D mission. Hasn't been seen since. Until about 2001 when she was spotted riding a motorcycle from a crime scene. Looked to be an assassination. Then again in 2003, 2005, 2007, 2012 and the last time in 2014. So the last time was 7 years ago. It shows she was trained like the winter soldier, but never met one another. But her powers got out of control and they have been training her to keep them in control since 2014. She has assassinated 6 men, 4 women, 2 children, and 1 hydra agent in a training gone wrong on that one." Tony reads outloud to everyone.

Steve and Bucky look at each other with a look in their eyes, as if they can't believe it. Then Tony brings up a picture of me for the group to see. Everyone gasps as a few photos show up. One is me, Steve, and Bucky at Coney Island. Then one of me and Bucky smiling at each other. Then there is one of me and Peggy Carter. Once all pictures are shown, all eyes are on Steve and Bucky.

"You know her?" Asked Natasha. Everyone silently asking the same thing.

"Yes, we know her. She was our friend. She grew up with us. She was our best friend. And a little more to Bucky." Steve answers quietly, looking at Bucky. It has been 78 years since he has seen her.

As they tell the others about me and what they remember, I am waking up again at the medbay. This time more calm. The nurses and doctors where asking me questions but I wouldn't answer them. They could tell they were not going to get anywhere with me, they called Tony and Bruce. I still would not talk to them.

How could I trust them? I don't even know them. For all I know they could be Hydra as well. With all these images popping up I don't even know what to believe anymore. Both men were throwing question after question at me. I didnt know how to answer. Or if I even should. Once they realized they were not going to get anywhere they left.

By the time I got the okay from the doctors, I was put inside a cell. Something I am all to familiar with. But this one was clean, had a comfortable bed, running water, and was warm. All the walls were glass and I could see people standing around watching me. Two I kinda recognized due to the images that I get. Each one would ask a question, each time I just stared ahead.

"We want to help you." A women with red and blonde hair spoke up after a few minutes of silence. I laughed.

"You want to help me? You don't even know me. How can you help me?" I responded quietly.

"Wanda has some powers and is able to look inside your head. Put the pieces together for you. Help you remember." The same women responded looking at another women with red hhai. I am guessing is Wanda.

"We read your file, y/n, let us help you remember the things they have taken from you." Tony says as he walks around. I don't respond, just look at everyone.

They gave up after 3 hours of silence from me and them asking questions. They leave me alone until a few days later. For those days they would bring me food, check to see if I am okay, then leave. It was Wanda, Tony, Bruce, and Steve that came a few days later. I watch them as they open the door to my cell and take a seat on a bench.

"If you are okay with this, we would like to try something. It does involve bringing back everything Hydra took from you. It might be painfull. But we think you should have the choice in remembering your life."Tony speaks up after a few minutes of silence.

Do I trust these people to try and help me? Do I even want the help? To remember all the pain I have caused and I life I will never get back.

I look at the four people in front of me and when I looked at the blonde man named Steve a memory came to me. It was just us two in a tent that looked to be on a base of some sort. He was the way he is now bigger then the other one I have seen. As if he grew or got on steroids. He was telling me about someone but it was fuzzy but I had this feeling of sadness.

I take a big breath in and look at them. "What do I have to lose? Not like I am going anywhere anytime soon." I tell them as I look at my hands.

I didnt see Tony nod at the door but did hear it open. I look up to see a young girl, with a different wardrobe then the others. She smiles kindly at me as she sits next to Wanda.

"Hi, my name is Shuri. I am from Wakanda and I can help you remember." I just stare at her.

"How long will this take?" I ask quietly.

"Depends on the damage they have caused for you to forget everything. Could be a few days, weeks, months. If you have trigger words. We will make.."

"Trigger words? What does that mean?" I interrupt her.

"Words that change you into a different person. Like they did witht he winter soldier. When we got the files from the base you were held in, shows you do have some." Tony says to me.

"Oh, so then I guess we should start this thing." I tell them. They did not expect me to say that.

They step out of my cell and start to say 6 words in Russian.

"девять- nine"

"машина-car"

"цветок-flower"

At this word I started to feel a crawling sensation run across my skin. I started to blink rapidly, my vision was getting foggy.

"слива-plum"

"банан-banana"

Now I'm rolling my shoulders, flexing my hands, shaking my head. That crawling sensation is getting thicker, heavier.

"рок-rock"

Once that last word was said I stand up, look at them with a blank expression, and cock my head to the side a little. "готов подчиниться- ready to comply."

They ready the words and I am me again. Well the shell of me that I know. I sit on the bed and take deep breaths. I did not like the feeling of having no control.

They watch me before they leave me alone for a little bit. I don't remember those words but it felt like my body did and it hurt badly.

As i sit and then pace and sit again for I don't know how long, everyone else is in the common area trying to figure out what to do next.

"Her words are different from Bucky's, why?" Same asks as they watch me in my cell.

"They made the words unique for that person. Hers are more girly because she is a girl and what she likes. They make it so only one person gets triggered and not all at once." Bucky says with a frown.

As they continue to talk and see the next step. I am going a little crazy in my cell. I started to throw everything that I could, I tried breaking the walls, the floor. I was screaming, crying, and bleeding. No one knew of my powers because it was not put in any files. So when I fall to my knees and scream everything shuts down and I pass out.

Once the lights were out, they were up and running to my cell. As people in the building were trying to get the power back on.

When they get to me I was laying on the floor and covered in some weird goo. That started right as I hit the floor. Bruce went to check if I was okay and when he tried to check my pulse he got shocked. He steps away and goes to the others.

"This is not in her file, didnt show if she had powers or not. Why would they do that?" Natasha says as the nurses come in hazmat suits.

"Because she is more dangerous then we thought." Steve says sadly.

*********

That is part 1. Possibly a part two.

[13atoms]

Centuries Apart (Dhawan!Master x Reader)

Based on this lovely request for a Chameleon-Circuit-ed companion by @ateliefloresdaprimavera​ <3  [2.1k]

The Master could never explain the way he was drawn you. From first sight, it had been a fascination which you felt in yourself too. He wanted you with him, both of you excusing his weak excuses to spend time with you. At first it had seemed magnetic, possessive, that was the only type of connection that you had imagined him capable of. But soon you were living with him, watching as he sauntered around his TARDIS, insistent on impressing you with all of space and time. He was sweet and kind, when he wanted to be, and each time it surprised you.

Your undefined relationship was something strange, something unique and more than any earth terms could define. The lack of labels didn’t bother you. He never gave you time to worry about that, because you were enjoying yourself so much.

Spending time with him suddenly felt like all that mattered, as natural as breathing.

The early days had just been fun. The flirting, the planets, the adventures and the attention. Moreover, it had been surprisingly fulfilling for both of you. Then things had changed. Late night conversations had drifted towards the personal, the Master feeling more at ease with you than he had in centuries. With trust came casual fondness, caring for one another, confessions about Gallifrey, about his fears and your own and then finally it all felt so natural.

‘Adventures’ and ‘research’ and ‘conquests’ turned into ‘days out’ and ‘holidays’, then tentatively… ‘dates’.

It was all innocent, in a way which surprised you with this impossible man. In some ways, it felt like you’d known him forever.

Then he’d brought up the locket. Burnished silver which had hung around your neck for as long as you could remember, you had protected it through adventure after adventure, never letting it out of your sight.

“Where did you get it?” he’d asked one night, the pair of you exhausted and drunk on adrenaline, laying on adjacent TARDIS sofas.

One day you’d summon the courage to share, you knew he was waiting for you, for the day you’d lay down beside him instead of a few feet away. I’ll summon up the courage tomorrow, you’d told yourself a hundred times.

Absentmindedly you picked it from where it lay off centre on your clavicle, toying with the locket on its chain.

“I don’t remember,” you shrugged, “why?”

“You never take it off. I’ve bought you nicer jewellery, you just… don’t wear any of it. You never take that old locket off.”

You gave a laugh, and he smiled.

“Fine, I’ve stolen nicer for you. Answer the question,” he teased.

A few months ago it would’ve been too personal to ask about, but now there was nothing of your foggy memories he didn’t know. You always wanted to tell him more, but your life on earth just felt so… different. Like it wasn’t yours.

Still, you had no secrets anymore. You supposed.

“I just… I’ve always had it. I like it.”

“Can I see?”

With a shrug you reached to unfasten the clasp, finding your fingers trembling. Instead, you turned to face away from the Master, allowing him to reach up from his reclined position and undo the fastening, taking the necklace to inspect. You found yourself getting strangely nervous as he pulled the chain between his fingers, playing with it. You swallowed the irrational feeling.

This was the Master. You could trust him.

“I wonder how old it is?” you pondered, and he smiled.

“Not old, but I don’t think it is from earth, which is…” he frowned suddenly, “curious.”

You frowned too, as his finger slid along the clasp.

“I don’t think it opens – ” you began.

You would know, surely, if it opened. How could you not? You’d had it for years, your whole time with the Master and on earth, surely you’d –

The Master’s thumb slid easily along the edge of the locket, cracking it open as he inspected the intriguing metal with his bottom lip between his teeth.

Then everything went blinding gold.

*

Everything burned. Your whole body, as you gasped for air on the Master’s sofa. The pulsing of the TARDIS and the Master’s fear were bombarding your mind, making your own fear rise as you could hear the Master’s high-speed train of concerned thoughts projected unprotected into your mind.

As you grew more and more frantic in your own telepathic thoughts, he stopped projecting, apparently unaware you’d been able to hear.

“Darling?”

His voice came into your mind and your ears milliseconds apart, but you could tell, even in the void of the Time Vortex where the ship rested.

The string of Gallifreyan which left your mouth felt strange, muscles unused for decades. How long had you been flung on earth? Who had left you there? The Doctor? You remembered a stolen ship, and an eccentric scarf and screaming for a Koschei as the bright light of regeneration energy had been snatched from you into a petite necklace. And after the Doctor had hung it around your neck he’d thrust you into a life you didn’t recognise and left you. And –

The Master’s deep brown eyes were watery, impossibly wide as he stared down at you.

It was like he was seeing you for the first time, taking in your every feature as if he was committing it to memory.

Without making eye contact, he pressed one hand to your wrist, delicately finding your pulse point and holding his breath. You could feel it yourself – what he was looking for.

That unmistakable double heartbeat.

You could feel it in your own chest, as your body painfully shifted into place, numbed a little by adrenaline. Your newly strengthened senses took in so much that you couldn’t focus on a single thing, overwhelmed. Though an overture of the warmth of his fingers and the smell of his sweat still managed to permeate through the haze.

“Who are you?” he breathed.

Another string of unfamiliar Gallifreyan rushed from your mouth before you could think a word in English, and the Master’s eyes shone with tears, his breath hitching.

There was only one emotion bombarded towards you, along with the TARDIS’ noisy stream of consciousness, and that was hope. From the ship and her Timelord.

Hope.

“It can’t be you,” he seemed to be begging, refusing to let his hearts be broken by an imposter or a mistake.

You could feel his fears, in plain and simple Gallifreyan in your head.

It’s me, you projected back.

Then, your fake childhood was replaced with a real one.

It flashed across your mind, a flipbook of memories. Hours in the academy with Koschei and Theta, stolen glances at the former and raucus fun with the latter, your friendship with them growing and maturing and straining and then –

“You thought I was dead?” you realised.

“Of course I did,” he breathed, suddenly crouched by your side, his couch now a hospital bed as he seemed to beg for this to be real. “I’d… I thought I’d never see you again.”

“How long was I on earth?”

You looked around for the discarded locket, like it might offer you answers, but it was in the Master’s hands. He pulled it to his lips with a gentle reverence, and you wondered if he could somehow tell how old the Chameleon Circuit was from its cool metal against his lisps.

He just shook his head.

“How old are you?” you asked, and the Master smiled wryly.

“I don’t remember,” he admitted, “so much has happened since you…”

The word died lingered on his tongue, but found its way into your mind. His telepathic barriers were so unused, you hated to think how long he’d been alone.

“This is my second body,” you realised, and he smiled indulgently.

“I’ve had far more than that, dear.”

There was an ancientness, a sadness, in his eyes that you couldn’t remember from your childhood. It was forever ago for him now, you supposed. Gallifrey was gone. Your home was gone, you realised numbly. The Master seemed to hear your projected thoughts, his face falling, making you want to reach out and stroke his cheek until you could rouse a smile.

You longed for the strength to sit up, but you knew your body couldn’t take it. It was still bubbling, fizzing, settling, as regeneration energy coursed through you.

“How did you get here?” he whispered, “How did you die?”

“The Time War, I crashed, trying to – trying to run. Towards the Doctor. He… he saw the opportunity. Let his TARDIS spit me out here with a new identity. As a human. It is over?”

“The Time War?”

You nodded, fighting to keep the tears at bay, so many new thoughts battering your mind that it seemed ridiculous to be talking about the Time War as you woke up in your new body. It was regeneration sickness dialled up to 100, your consciousness slipping as a million new senses bombarded you.

“I… I think I told you. It’s all over…”

“Rassilion!” You realised, “When you told me that – ”

You stopped talking at the surge of pain which flowed from the Master at the mere mention of that name. He’d told you so many stories which you had never fully understood as a human, and now it was all flowing back into place. Your head ached, all the new stimulus and memories fighting for your attention, even as all you wanted to do was talk to the Master.

What were you now, you and him? Your childhood of longing to be near him, of treasuring every moment of your friendship, and now it was just you and him and the Doctor. The only survivors.

And you weren’t sure you could ever face the Doctor again. Not after they had forced you into humanity without your consent, in a fresh regeneration had never had the time to come to terms with.

“You need to sleep,” the Master soothed, feeling the beginnings of a panic attack as your thoughts spiralled, leaking from your mind to his.

“I’m… regeneration sickness… is it bad?”

It was covered at the academy, though it was academized and smoothed over, the information becoming useless. It had seemed so alien then, when you were young and stupid and arrogant. You remembered Theta saying he’d make each body last millennia, and Koschei had made fun of him for it. You certainly couldn’t remember any those classes now, so long ago and buried beneath memories of your friends joking around.

A sharp pain brought you back to the present, the Master wincing as you writhed on the sofa.

“It’s not fun,” the Master confessed, his warm hand smoothing your furrowed brow, “especially the first time, but you’ll be okay. I’ll look after you.”

“I know you will,” you smiled, curling up, watching as his face disappeared.

*

When you woke up on the couch, you were covered by the rich silk of your own bedsheets. The Master was mere feet away, a cup of tea in each of his hands.

“Morning,” he smiled, “you were out for days.”

You sat up, pulling the sheets around you. You couldn’t feel the cold, not in the way you had as a human, but the safety of the sheets was nice. You took the tea, stifling a cry as the hot cup burnt your skin, and the Master muttered an apology as you took it more carefully.

“Fresh skin,” he smiled sympathetically, “always tender.”

He sat beside you, careful not to hurt you or make you spill the tea, closer than he had when you were human. You noted it, even as your body felt like it was molten inside, how his hip pressed against yours through layers and layers of clothing and fabric.

“How do you feel?”

“Alright, weird, but good,” you smiled, and he gave an understanding nod.

He’d been through this plenty of times, and the thought broke your heart a little. How much had he done, lived through, endured, between the young man you’d left during the Time War and the version of him who sat beside you.

You let yourself relax a little, your body still sapped of energy from regeneration. You were starving, but you let yourself enjoy the moment for just a second. Food could wait. Your shoulder sagged against his, and he hummed contentedly at the contact.

“What should I call you?” you asked, blowing steam off your drink.

“What do you mean?”

“Master?”

“Oh! Koschei, please,” his voice dropped, both in volume and pitch, and you felt a sudden seriousness in his tone, “Koschei.”

A silence fell over the room, the comforting repetitive pulse of the TARDIS even more comforting now than it had been when you were human.

Back when he’d invited you on-board.

You weren’t who you thought you were, and you weren’t the person he had thought. The stories you’d told him weren’t you. The childhood you’d remembered wasn’t yours.

His hip pressed into yours, his body feeling warm now your body temperature had dropped.

You watched as he took a sip of his drink, before glancing over to you, a smile on his lips.

“Are you disappointed?” You asked.

His smile dropped. You felt suddenly vulnerable as he turned to properly face you, his eye contact unavoidable as he searched your face for answers you weren’t sure you had.

“You'll need to expand further than that, love.”

You gulped.

“That I'm not her, the human – ”  

His eyes were so serious, flickering from your lips to your eyes, his body curled towards you, almost smothering you.

“But you are.”

“I’m not –”

“I can’t lose you,” he blurted out suddenly, “not again. You’re… it almost killed me, the first time. No one knew where you were. The Doctor said you were… gone.”

“That bad?” you tried to joke, but you couldn’t keep it up.

His face fell.

“I spent centuries… and every dream, through everything… all I could think about was that I should’ve told you how I felt.”

“Centuries?” you whispered.

“Centuries.”

He wrapped an arm across you, getting closer still, and you searched his eyes.

There was so much unsaid. So much to figure out and discuss, but you knew it wouldn’t change your relationship. Neither of you were leaving the other.

“And now?” you asked.

“I’d still mean it.”

Burrowing your face against him, you could hear the thrum of his hearts, feel how much he meant it in your mind.

“What would you tell me?” you asked tentatively.

You could hear it in your mind, the word, the emotion. He smiled as you read his thoughts.

“That you’re staying. And that I… I loved you. Still do, I suppose.”

He cleared his throat.

“‘Love’ isn’t strong enough, not for people like us,” he told you, looking away while his words sent an ache through your hearts.

You smiled, but he wasn’t joking. Instead his deep eyes flickered to your lips, moving closer to cup your jaw. You could feel the drowsiness of regeneration sickness pulling at your mind, the uneasiness of your newly regained time senses. Mostly, you could feel the draw of his mind and body, after so long apart.

“Do you… do you want to stay?” he asked nervously.

Suddenly teary-eyed, you couldn’t help a watery laugh, nodding furiously and feeling his fingers bumping against your jaw, his smile matching yours. Your locket was still wrapped around his fingers, and as your eyes landed on the chain, he untangled it. The metal glinted before he fastened it around your neck, resting it back in that familiar spot, the fastener broken open.

“I’ll get you a new one,” he smiled apologetically, but you shook your head.

“Don’t,” you told him, “I want to keep it as it is.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please, Koschei.”

[polaroid15]

Febuwhump day 7 - Poisoning

FIRST WEEK IS UP! THAT’S SO CRAZY!!!! THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT SO FAR!!!! <3333

Summary: "It’s one of the best dinners Tony has ever had in his life. They laugh, they catch up, they praise their kid. In hindsight, it was really only a matter of time before things went south."

Or, a celebratory dinner between Tony, May, and Peter takes a deadly turn when Peter is poisoned.

Read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29138196/chapters/71884206

----

“Cheers!”

Tony smiles as May and Peter raise sparkling glasses to meet his own. They look nervous, Tony thinks, but excited too. They’ve even dressed up for the occasion, though the sleeves on Peter’s dress shirt are rolled unevenly and May’s still wearing her sneakers from her shift at the hospital with her dress, claiming she had forgotten another pair.

It’s perfect.

“This is really fancy,” Peter mumbles, cutting quick glances at the other tables with wide, unbelieving eyes. “Are you sure they don’t use 100 bills as napkins?”

“Oh they definitely do.”

“What?”

May rolls her eyes in good nature, patting Peter on the arm. “He’s kidding Peter. Obviously.” She shifts her gaze towards Tony, the warm cutouts of light above them turning her glasses gold. “Thank you, Tony. You really didn’t have to-”

“Course I did,” he interrupts, swirling his glass. “We’re celebrating! It’s not everyday you score the winning point in nationals, right Pete?”

Sinking slightly in his chair, Peter offers a sheepish smile. “It was a lucky guess.”

“Nonsense,” May says, and Tony raises his glass in another pledge of agreeance.

A shy looking waiter appears beside them, holding three steaming plates of food on a wide black tray. There’s a sheen of sweat on his face and Tony notices how determined he is not to look him in the eye.

Starstruck, probably. Poor kid.

“E-enjoy your meal,” the waiter stammers, wiping his face with his sleeve. He looks hesitant, like he wants to say something further. He must decide against it, though, because without further comment he pivots on his heel and stumbles away.

He bumps into a chair, and Tony watches him go, bemused. When he turns to look at his plate, it’s filled with fettuccine. He frowns a little, sure he had ordered the linguine.

“Wow,” Peter gushes through a stuffed mouth. A mouth full of linguine, that is. “This food is to die for!”

The waiter must have messed their plates around by accident. Unsurprising, really. Tony shakes his head and smiles at Peter’s apparent enjoyment, tucking a cloth into the collar of his shirt. Fettuccine is good too, he supposes.

“Alright, I’ll admit I’m impressed,” May says, a rich burger held between her hands.

“Me too,” Peter agrees, his sentiments once again muffled.

Tony chuckles, curling the smooth pasta around his fork. “Jeez, kiddo. Take a breath before you choke.”

“No! It’s too good.”

It’s one of the best dinners Tony has ever had in his life. They laugh, they catch up, they praise their kid. They make fun of May’s sneakers and ask the waiter for the money napkins when he passes by to check on them.

In hindsight, it was really only a matter of time before things went south.

It all starts with Peter setting down his fork, his laugh from something May had said tapering off into silence. He reaches for his glass but his hand misses it by a mile.

Tony eyes the kid suspiciously, watching as he tries to correct himself. Leaning forward, Peter squints for the glass and redirects his hand.

He misses it again.

“You okay kiddo?”

Finally, Peter’s hands find the skinny stem of his glass. He lifts it up to his lips, the drink sloshing around as his hands shake.

“Peter?”

Looking surprised, Peter looks over in Tony’s direction, though his eyes don’t fully connect. “What?” He asks quietly. “Oh. Yeah- yeah sorry. Just a little-”

Concerned now, Tony leans forward, wrapping his own hand around Peter’s to steady the tremors. “A little what?”

“D-dizzy.”

May screams and Tony curses loudly when Peter’s eyes flutter, body listing limply to the side and off his chair. The glass he had been holding hits the table, its contents staining their white tablecloth.

“Peter!”

Guests gasp and scream at the scene as Tony joins May by Peter’s side. Her fingers are jammed against his throat, her other hand clutching up at her hair in panic. “Oh- oh god.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Tony asks while his stomach performs olympic-level backflips. The shaking has spread to Peter’s entire body now, his face ghostly under the lights. Is he even breathing?

“CALL AN AMBULANCE!”

“Thready pulse. I don’t know what happened!”

Tony rests his hands against Peter’s face, his skin hot to the touch. He shakes it gently, but the boy’s head just lolls.

He’s seen this before.

Curling his hands into fists, Tony stands, the restaurant seeming to tilt and spin around him. The waiter that had served them is standing in the midst of onlookers, looking half dead himself. Tony walks over to him in three vicious strides and fists his hand into his shirt. “What did you give him?”

In the distance, beyond the ringing in his ears and the heat in his veins, Tony hears gasps and screams. The waiter, if possible, grows more pale. “I- I didn’t-”

“The food he ate was meant for me!” Tony screams, fear constricting his heart so tightly, he can hardly feel it beat within his chest. He’s experienced enough guilt in his lifetime, he thinks, and this might just be the breaking point. “It was meant for me! He was poisoned!”

Further in the distance, sirens.

“I have no idea, I swear,” the waiter says hastily, looking two seconds away from a panic attack. “I just grabbed the trays!”

“Who knew I was here?”

“E-everyone!”

“Damn it!” Tony throws the boy away, his anger untouched. An older woman dressed in the restaurant’s uniform appears beside him, horror sketched deeply into the lines of her face. “Sir,” she says, “the ambulance is here.”

He feels torn, ripped to shreds.

“Someone poisoned him,” Tony gasps. He can’t breathe.

“I’ll tell the police,” the woman assures. “We’ll get to the bottom of this. Let me handle it, okay? Go be with your son.”

Son.

Feeling lightheaded, Tony stumbles back over to their table. EMTs are streaming into the building, a vacant stretcher held between them. They waste no time in securing Peter to it, limp and unresponsive, and inject him with needles and air. He catches May when she falls into him, sobbing, and together they follow Peter out into the chilled air.

----

Three hours later, and everything is okay.

“Told you the food was to die for,” Peter mumbles. He’s weak and pale, his eyes distant and foggy, but bright with the relief of being alive. Tony grabs the boy’s hand and hangs on for dear life, relishing in the warmth of his skin under the tubes and wires connecting him to his recovery.

Tony isn’t sure if the sound he makes next is a laugh or a sob. “Almost,” he corrects, “it was almost to die for.”

It doesn’t matter, because Peter is okay.

“Was still pretty good,” Peter whispers, half asleep. “Mm. Four stars. Would consider going again.”

“Nope. No. Not in a million years.”

“But we didn’ even get to try dessert-”

“Peter,” Tony says sternly, but he smiles as he says it, “never in a million, billion, years.”

“Mmm. Fine.”

“Go to sleep kiddo. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Eyes closed, Peter’s smile widens.

“I know.”

[nicklightbearer]

Not A Warning, Babe, It’s An Order

yet another whf tickling fic! i just cant get enough of these two. this one is a lot longer and a good bit more.... sweet? cute?

in this; virgil didnt die and also nick and jack are Frens <3

“Ugh!” Nick huffed, balling up yet another failed composition and throwing it towards the trash can- at this point, while most of it at the bottom was empty bottles, it was overflowing with similar papers. Ripped, crushed, and ruined.. None of them were right. He couldn’t get down the mood he wanted, not in the slightest- and though he eyed the pills set in a neat bowl on his desk, he ended up shoving those away too and just pressing his head to his hands.

This wasn’t working. He couldn’t feel it, that groove that would inspire him to write a million words all in one night- that focus, that drive.. It eluded him.

From the open window, a cold chill. He’d left it open on purpose, of course- tonight, of all nights, he’d actually hoped that Jack would show up- but so far, nothing. Perhaps he wasn’t listening. 

Perhaps he was off indulging in his own hobby. A thought that would’ve once made Nick shudder just made him snort now, and he stood up to grab his guitar.

Maybe this time, he could interrupt the magician’s work instead.

Making his way over to the window, he gave the guitar a few plucks- out of tune, dammit- but with his keen ear for such things, he twisted the pegs just so until the guitar sang as beautifully as ever. He pushed open the door to the balcony, giving a few strums, before settling on a chair outside and kicking his feet up on the railing.

Yes, this would do nicely. 

Jack.. Wasn’t actually hunting, not tonight. He hadn’t been, as of late- sneaking off to Nick’s room to get a bit of company now and again, coupled with ‘terrorizing’ the poor man, well.. It’d been doing just fine. 

At the moment, he was actually perched on the windowsill of some random citizen- he hadn’t bothered checking who, it didn’t matter- and peering into the window to a bedroom across the way. This house was his target- a doctor lived there with his wife, and it seemed that this particular fellow had taken a vested interest in the bobby’s investigation of the ‘escape’ of Foggy Jack.

Irritating, to say the least. Those doctors gave him the heebie-jeebies. 

He’d been there for.. Oh, three hours? It was about three hours when he finally noticed something to break the monotony- hell, the doctor hadn’t even come home yet, all he’d seen was the wife folding laundry and watching the late-night run of Uncle Jack’s show- and it was.. Well, at first he thought he was hallucinating. It wasn’t the first time.

But as the song trailed off, he noted that it was different from recordings. It was as if Nick was playing his guitar right out into the open night air, something like a ballad version of When You’re Gone. 

Surely Nick wasn’t playing outside at this hour. Though he tried to ignore it- probably just some other musician practicing- it kept going.. And his curiosity got the better of him.

Sighing, he slid down from the window, dissolving into his usual mist before even touching the ground. 

If it was Nick, he’d be rather cross. At the same time, it was definitely a first for him to be doing something like this, and he wondered to what end it was.

When Nick noticed the fog rolling up the streets, converging into a larger cloud as it got closer to his house, he smiled grimly. It had worked- and he wasn’t actually sure how Jack would react to such a summons, as odd as it was. But he needed help- and of all the times Jack had offered, well, he surely wouldn’t be that put off.

He closed his eyes, now crooning the words to his song softly as he felt the fog push up towards his balcony. 

“When you’re gone… Baby, it’s a long way home.” He could feel a presence behind him now, but he didn’t bother stopping his playing. It was near the end, anyway.

“Baby, it’s a long way home.”

He felt a hand on his shoulder as he finished the tune, and lolled his head back to open his eyes and grin up at Jack. The magician was quiet- looked rather neutral, but curiosity glinted in his eyes.

“A wonderful performance as always.” “Why, thank you.” “But I must ask.. It’s nearly midnight, most of the good folk have gone to bed or out to their activities of the night. Why haven’t you?” “I’m glad you asked!” Nick beamed, swinging his legs down and standing up as he grabbed Jack’s arm and dragged him inside- not that there was much resistance. 

“I have to write a new song. And I’m having a lot of trouble!” “You sound delighted about that.” Nick huffed, setting his guitar down and turning to cross his arms with an irritated frown. Jack merely tilted his head, still not entirely sure where he came into play.

“Well! You’ve helped me before.” “Ah, so it’s like that?”

The way the word was murmured shot a shiver up his spine, and Nick held his hands out placatingly as a cruel smile spread across the magician’s face.

“No! No, it’s not, you big bully. Godsakes.” “Well, do explain.” Nick sighed, stepping over to his bed and flopping to sit on the edge- and, when Jack didn’t move, he patted the spot next to him. There was a brief hesitation before he settled down, hands resting on his lap as he watched Nick almost warily.

“I need a favor.” “A favor.” “Yes. I know you get all excited about- about making me laugh, but I hardly ever get to see you laugh. And I think it would make for a great inspiration if you’d let me have my own fun, for once.” Jack’s face reddened considerably, even if Nick could only peek at the spaces around the edges. He shifted, bringing a knee up onto the bed so that he was facing the magician and leaned forward while clasping his hands together earnestly.

“Please! It’d be a big help, really.” “I..” “And you can- you can have your fun later, once I’m done. Okay?” Jack raised an eyebrow. “No strings attached?” “Well- I mean- oh, don’t be mean. You know what I meant.” “Mmh. I suppose if it’s such a big help..” He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose for a moment before nodding in agreement. Nick clapped once, already excited. “Perfect! Okay, perfect. Here, you lay down, let me get my pad.” Jack may well have just up and died, with how heavily his blush was- but he complied, laying back on the bed awkwardly before covering his face and exhaling. Nick had scampered over to his desk and ripped the last page off again, completely trashing his original ideas and bringing over the blank paper and pencil to set on his nightstand.

“.. It’s not going to be very comfortable there. Here, up you go.” As he was pulled into a more comfortable position- laying so that he was propped up on pillows instead of flat on the mattress- he was silent. Nick paused for a moment before scrambling to sit on his legs, suddenly rather aware of how awkward the situation could become if he didn’t pull this off perfectly.

“.. And the mask?” “Oh no. Not taking it off.” “Jacky…” The magician peeked through his fingers, watching how Nick’s face fell and his eyes shined. Ooh, he was getting good at those puppy eyes.

He deflated, hooking his fingers around the edges and wiggling it off carefully. The night air felt cold on his exposed skin- especially with how fiery it was from the flustered state he was in.

“There. Happy?” “Absolutely!” Nick’s smile was back, and he laced his fingers together, stretching them a bit before wiggling them a few times- Jack had to bite back a giggle of anticipation- to get warmed up. 

“Alright. Don’t cover your face again, okay? I need to see you smile!” “God.” As his palms pressed to the magician’s sides, he yelped at the immediate slam of arms that nearly locked him in place.

“Woah there, Jackaboy- hey, you’ve only gone and trapped me!” “Well- I can’t- aha!”

His fingers curled slightly, and even with his jacket to protect him, the magician had to lock his jaw to keep the tingles that spread across his torso from affecting him too much.

“Come on, you silly boy.. Lift your arms up.” “I can’t if you- if you keep- doing that!” “Doing whaaaat?” The teasing! The tone! He hated it- but as skilled fingers began kneading at his sides, he couldn’t voice any of that. He pressed his arms down a bit harder, jerking as Nick’s hands slid down to squeeze his hips experimentally.

“Gosh, you’re such a baby about it. With all your big talk about how sensitive I am, I thought you wouldn’t be half so bad..” Nick tsked, pulling back for a moment before pushing his hands underneath the jacket and clawing at his stomach. Jack nearly had a heart attack right there, hands flying up to his mouth to stifle the sudden squeak as he squirmed.

“But that’s not right at all! You’re just as ticklish as me, aren’t you? God, what a hoot.” This was it. This was his funeral. 

“Imagine if the constables caught wind. Foggy Jack, menace to society- and all you have to do to reduce him to a pile of fluff and giggles is a little tickling.” “Fuck ohohoff!” “Ooh, swears. So scary.” Nick was careful as he pulled one hand out to start undoing buttons- the jacket was soon pushed aside, and he grinned as he ducked his head down. One hand locked on each side, squeezing over and over as his face pressed against the magician’s stomach- and though he didn’t yet do much other than that, the hot breath he could feel through his shirt made Jack buck up in an attempt to throw him off.

“Hold still! Squirmy wormy, squirmy Jacky, my gosh!” “Faha- Fuhuck you-” “Oh, quit the swearing. I’m not going to stop.” His hands drifted up, nails easily drilling against ribs and finally coaxing out a howl of laughter as Jack threw his head back against the pillows. Accompanying this was an even more infuriating sound- a soft ‘oooomnomnomnom’ as he nibbled at Jack’s shirt- and the slight biting feeling only earned more laughter that had now reached a much higher pitch than he’d ever admit.

“Jeez, no wonder Virge likes this snack..” Though he heard the words, he had no time to process them- not now that Nick had deftly undone his dress shirt and buried his face against him, blowing a raspberry square in the middle of his stomach. “NooOOHOHO- AHAHA- NIHIHIHIIIIHIHICK!! NOT THE- THEEHEE-” “Oooooh, yes! That’s perfect, Jacky.” Though he had started pushing at Nick’s shoulders, the musician merely chuckled and pushed his hands up- and from how he started kneading his fingers into Jack’s underarms, the shocks it sent up his arms drained his strength almost completely.

“Tickle-tickle-tickle… Oh, this is rich. No wonder you like doing this.” “Nihihick- plehease-” “Pleeease what? You volunteered.” “Noho! I didn’t- ahAHAHA!” Another raspberry. If he’d been able to form a coherent thought, he’d be thinking about how awful that mustache of Nick’s was for such an endeavor- the way it brushed against his stomach sent shivers across his body and left him breathless from the laughter.

Nick hummed a little as he looked up, reveling in the fruits of his labor for a moment and relishing in the squeals of laughter that now poured from Jack’s smiling mouth. It really was inspiring- the way he thrashed about and laughed as though he were witness to the funniest joke on the planet.. One that Nick had…

That was it!

Nick rolled off of him abruptly, seizing the pad and pencil from where he’d landed on the floor. Jack was still giggling softly, gasping for breath as he opened his eyes and blinked- a disappearing act from Lightbearer was.. Definitely unexpected.

But he heard humming beside the bed, and after fixing his shirt, he peered over the edge to see the musician scribbling on his pad of paper, occasionally pausing to tap the eraser to get a beat before resuming.

He was only the slightest bit disappointed. As he made to sit up, though, Nick looked up- then huffed, standing once again and pushing him back down.

“Oh no, I’m not done with you yet, mister. This is a full song, not just one verse!” Shit. “Now, Nick- really, it can’t be that hard to-” “It is! Now hold still. Wait- I’ve an idea.”

He got on his knees, gesturing for a moment before finding his words.

“Roll onto your stomach. Hug a pillow if that helps.” He complied, and though many spots were now protected by the bed, he had a funny feeling he was going to hate whatever was happening- of course, this was only strengthened when Nick turned his back and settled to sit on his knees. He maneuvered in such a way that he could sit criss-cross, pulling Jack’s feet through his legs and yanking his shoes off with ease.

Oh no.

“Nick- come on, this is getting ridiculous..” “Not a peep! I don’t want any protest, I’ve got to focus!”

Nick hummed the part he was thinking of as Jack buried his face in a pillow- before, of course, using the eraser end of his pencil to poke rapidly at the magician’s feet. The steady stream of giggles he earned was muffled into a pillow- but it seemed like enough, and he started writing again for a moment before repeating his actions. Jack balled up a fist and slammed it against the bed a few times, his legs screaming that he kick but wholly unable to due to their position.

“Nihihick- come on, aren’t you done yet?” “Don’t be impatient! Hey, you ought to be flattered-” He paused, now poking between each foot with every word and relishing in the flurry of flustered snickers he earned-

“You’re~my~muse~for~this~song! Isn’t that exciting?” “Ihi- eheheh- I suppose…” “Hey, if this works, maybe we can try more often! God knows with that album I’m supposed to have coming up…”

A thrill shot up through his stomach, and Jack grasped at the pillow he was strangling to the point where he was certain it would rip. “I didn’t agreehee to ahahany such thing!!” “But you would! Or..” Nick swung around, now facing him properly and giving him a brief break-

“I can convince you~.” Jack’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest- only to have a sudden wave of giggles come out instead, as Nick slipped his hands under his jacket and shirt to flutter his nails up and down the magician’s back and sides.

“Nohoho- you’re awful! Ahahawful!” “Oh, you love me.” “I hahahate ihihihihit!” Nick laughed along with him for a moment before landing a final pinch on one side and grabbing his notes again. Jack grumbled into his pillow, taking deep breaths to try and calm down. Of all the things Nick could’ve asked him to do…

But soon, they’d both gone quiet, and the scratching of pencil to paper began to slow- more pauses, more tapping, slight grumbling. Jack risked a peek over his shoulder, noting the irritated expression that Nick had.

“.. Something wrong?” “Well.. This next part. It’s less.. I need that giddy feeling. And it’s not coming.” Jack squirmed his way back onto his back and sat up, pulling his legs out from under Nick- with the lack of protest he must be pretty focused.

“That giddy feeling?” “Yeah. Like- when you take Joy for the first time in… No, that’s not quite it.” He hummed again, tapping the pencil on paper before groaning and shaking his head.

“Smilin’ like a little child, in a candy store.. Like that. Sort of.” Jack was content to watch, the look of focus combined with aggravation endlessly fascinating- and when the expression popped to a surprised look, his eyes widened. Surely not again…

“I’ve got it! I know.” And he tossed the pad onto the nightstand again before turning to Jack- this time, he was determined. Jack winced, a smile already tugging at his lips- but he was taken aback when Nick instead raised his arms above his head. “Tickle me!” “.. What?” “Well, it would work! It has before. That giddy feeling- you’re pretty good at getting it when you want.”

A more menacing smile now found its way onto his face, though a fairly endeared one. Of course, this was much more his speed… 

Though Nick had seemed determined at first, that quickly melted into nervous giggles as Jack’s hands pushed under his shirt, nails already scratching steadily at his sides. His arms swayed, wanting to come down from where he held them but staying up.. For now.

“Well, I must say, I greatly prefer this to your horrible torture. We should’ve started here, instead.” “Ghhheheh- thahat’s not- how it works!” “Well, it should be.” He chuckled quietly, slowly making his way up Nick’s torso and almost admiring his dedication- even when his ribs were the target of light squeezes, he kept up, though he’d folded at his elbows to clasp his hands behind his head as he trembled. 

“You- ha!- fucking, you’re a buhuhuhullyheehee…” “Isn’t that what you asked for? Please, Mr. Lightbearer, do clarify. You wanted me to tickle you, so I am- what’s the problem?” “Ghhhhheheheh…” Jack paused for a moment, hands resting on his ribs, before abruptly pushing up and drilling into his underarms. Nick yelped before squealing out more laughter, arms falling back down and locking as he covered his face. Judging by how he swayed, he’d probably fall if he wasn’t careful- so Jack carefully guided him to lay down, keeping at his torment the entire time.

“Go on, uncover your face- I’ve barely even picked up the pace…”

Nick jolted, then gasped through his laughter and finally pushed at Jack’s hands.

“Thahat’s- stooohohop, I neeheed to write!” “Aww.. Do I have to?” Jack pouted, but finally let go when Nick squeezed his arms down again.

“Yehehehehes!! Jack!” “Oh, fine.” He paused. “You actually have trapped my hands, though. Ease up.” Nick took a few deep breaths, slowly releasing his arms- squeaking at a final squeeze from Jack before he was released properly. Grabbing his notepad, he shook his hands out to try and get rid of the shakiness before bringing his knees up so he could write again.

“Cover your face… Hm- hmhmmmm.. Mmh, mmhmmmmm…” Jack tilted his head, trying to peek at the writing and huffing when he was swatted away. “I’m not done! No looking.” “Are you using my words?” “No- well, sort of. You’ll see.” He kept humming a few times before shifting so that his back was to Jack.

“.. Hey, do it again. But not so fast. I’m trying to nail the chorus.” “Do what?” “What do you think, you bully?” Jack snorted, settling on tracing his nails up and down Nick’s back- enough to earn a few snickers, and keep him content as he wrote. “What an effort, for a single song.” “You have no idea.” “Mmh, I think I have some. I’ve watched you write the whole thing.” “Yeah, well.. Shhh.” More humming- and quite a few giggles later- he finally set the pad down and pushed Jack’s hands away.

“Okay. That’s the first draft.” “Draft, are you serious?” “Well, I have to make sure it’s perfect!” Nick stretched, though he kept an eye on Jack- of course, the bastard’s hands twitched towards him, but he held himself back well enough. “It’s late. The best thing for me is to sleep on it. That’s why I write so late, so that I wake up with a little inspiration left over.” “Mmh, I see.” He faceplanted on the bed, reaching up to work off his wig; it was a mess, anyways, so it didn’t matter if he just threw it on the floor for later. Jack simply sat where he was, unsure if he was now overstaying his welcome.

“.. Lay down. Dork. You’re probably just as exhausted as me. It’s fine.” Though he hesitated for a long moment, he eventually settled next to Nick- the blush was back in full, but Nick didn’t seem to care. He slung an arm over the magician’s waist, already drifting off himself. Jack sighed softly, now not holding back the urge to gently comb his fingers through Nick’s hair.

“.. Good night, Nick.” “Mmnh, nighty night. Don’t run off.” It was the last request he had- and though he had other places to be, things to do.. Jack smiled fondly at the musician that now snored next to him. He was perfectly happy to wait.

[poppysimp]

Desperation Pt. 2 [ Poppy x Mc ]

Part one here

Warnings: Mentions of sex, discussion of consent, homophobia, internalized homophobia, abusive parents, swearing.

a/n: hi !! so i wanted to give my last angsty fic a fluffy ending because i’m too soft 😔 hope you enjoy it <3

taglist: @save-me-the-last-dance @origmansello @spywidownat @somewillwin

“You really should’ve listened to daddy, Poppy” He loomed over her menacingly, his height almost doubled hers “I told you again and again, my daughter is not going to be like one of those perverts. It’s time I show you what happens to girls. Who. Don’t. Listen” He marked each words with a smack on his hand from the belt he was carrying, getting closer to Poppy.

“Get away from me!” She jerked away from Bea’s embrace, who tried to smack her ass during one of their make out session on Poppy’s room which triggered a chain of horrific childhood memories. Her dazed expression finally focused on the girl next to her, her eyes filled with worry.

“Please, get out.” She managed to say with the steadiest voice she could conjure, trying to keep at bay the developing knot on her throat. She grabbed the other’s girls scattered clothes and handed them over. “Now.”

Her hands were trembling and her heart was racing and all Bea could say was “Pops, what’s wrong? What happened?” Wearing a preoccupied look.

That made butterflies soar in Poppy’s stomach, though, her thoughts were way too foggy to think about that right now. And, the only thing that managed to come out was “I said get the fuck out of my room, Bea!” She yelled. A scream filled with anger and fear.

Was the room getting smaller or was her throat closing up? Because there was suddenly an alarming lack of air. Tears stung in her eyes once again and her heart felt as if it were running a marathon. Blood pumping in her ears, sweaty palms made their way to her arm where they dug bubblegum pink nails in, hard.

Bea wasn’t gone yet, out of a place of worry she lingered in the doorframe. She noticed the way Poppy’s breathing got more and more ragged along with the trembling of her small her body. The pressure her nails were applying on her arm, that by the looks of it, were bound to start dripping blood soon. It was a panic attack, and she had to do something.

Poppy’s vision was starting to blur and her whole body was suddenly weak, she felt as if one single movement was going to make her faint.

The room was silent for a few minutes, the only noises were Poppy’s difficult breathing and ocasional sobs. Until, Bea finally sat on the bed next to her and gently tried to push her hand out of her arm as to not hurt herself further.

Even when her grip on herself weakened, Bea didn’t let her hand go and for the first time, Poppy let her hold her.

With her remaining hand she loosely hugged Poppy, resting her chin on top of her forehead. As if on cue, on Bea’s arms, she felt the air slowly come back to her lungs.

Thump, Thump, Thump, Poppy’s heartbeat thundered. Neither of them know how long it had been until Poppy’s breathing goes back to normal. There was a silence filling the room, and not awkward or tense one, it was warm and comforting.

They were tangled in each other, Poppy’s small frame was curled in between Bea’s arms who was caressing lovingly the marks left behind on her arm by her nails. For once in her life, Poppy felt safe.

“Please don’t do that again” Poppy finally spoke in a soft, frail tone that shook both of them out of their trance “Hitting me, I mean. Not even during sex”

And that’s when Bea’s heart sunk so deep it probably could’ve reached China. This was all her fault

“Fuck, Poppy. I’m so sorry. I really should’ve asked if it was okay. I promise it won’t happen again, seriously, I’m really really sorry” She quickly said, he voice filled with regret and guilt. “I didn’t realize it could affect you this way, I swear the last thing I want is for you to feel unsafe or uncomfortable in any way. I-“ She began rambling until Poppy cut her off

“Yes, you should’ve asked. But it’s okay now, just, please don’t do it again” She rested head on Bea’s shoulder, gaze stuck to the wall in front of her.

Poppy’s father was an aggressive, short tempered man, that was no secret to anyone. He had a history of losing his cool against clients and employees alike, of course, when you have that kind of money people don’t usually care how much of an asshole you are, they only care about the figures in your bank account.

Poppy’s father was an aggressive man, yet, he had never layed a hand on his daughter. Until that one summer morning.

That stupid, godamned, summer morning.

“Have you ever kissed a boy?” Her best friend, Cassandra, asked “I think Kyle might try to kiss me when we go to the movies this weekend and I’ve never kissed anyone. What if he hates it so much he never talks to me again?”

“What if I helped you practice?” And that’s when her worst decision up to date was made.

Her father had found them locking lips in her room. Needless to say he was not pleased. He kicked Cassandra out and turned to look at her daughter with the most terrifying, borderline gruesome, scowl on his face. She’d never forget expression her father wore, sometimes she’d still see it in her dreams.

The haunting expression was only the beginning of her own personal hell. He hit her so hard she couldn’t move properly for the next few days, her small, frail, teenage body covered in purple bruises.

Of course, her mother didn’t care. “The devil must be smacked out of her” She said.

She thought her parent’s demons were always going to haunt her, every second, every minute, every single moment of her life, the same way they’ve done for all these years. But right now, with Bea’s warmth cradling her like a baby, suddenly those demons seemed small. They didn’t seem that strong anymore, or maybe Bea just made Poppy feel stronger than them. Either way, she liked feeling like this.

“I’m leaving now. Are you sure you’re going to be okay, Pops?” Bea finally spoke again, her arms tightening around Poppy.

For the first time, she didn’t want her to leave. The invincibility Bea’s embrace gifted her wasn’t a feeling she was ready to let go.

“Actually, could you stay for a bit longer?” She asked shyly. Poppy Min-Sinclair was not one to get mushy.

Bea could swear her heart just bursted into a million tiny pieces, Belvoire’s Queen Bee has never looked so small and soft “Of course, princess. I’ll stay for as long as you want me to”

And just like that, for once, Poppy’s room didn’t reek of sex and desperation.

[tagsecretsanta]

From @little-old-rachel

to @misssquidtracy

Secret Santa does not own this work, full credit to the author above!

Summary: Scott will always insist that actually, Gordon’s first snow was the year he was born, to which Gordon says, “yeah, like I remember that, Scooter,” but if you ask Gordon, his first snow was when he was five and three quarters. 

Part One: First Snow

Over the last few years, Kansas has seen a spate of mild winters and wet summers - not even a snowflake to be seen. But this year is The One, Gordon can feel it. After years of envying the way Scott and Virg wax lyrical about snowball fights and school closures, this is Gordon’s year.

This particular morning had dawned like any other; a fine mist gradually curling a retreat from muddy fields, breath like dragon’s smoke before him as he and the other kids wait for the school bus, and a chill in the air that almost sounds like Mom (“are you sure shorts in December are a good idea, kiddo?"). Once sandwiched between a barely-conscious Virgil and foggy window, Gordon entertains himself drawing in the condensation. 

“Look V, it’s a dolphin!” He pokes his sleepy brother in the side until Virgil raises his head, eyes bleary, and removes an earbud. 

“So it is, Gordo,” Virgil says, though Gordon’s ‘dolphin’ looks more plane-like than aquatic. 

“Do me a squid,” Gordon says, yanking at his big brother’s sleeve and employing the big round eyes he’s fast learning will get him what he wants. Virgil obliges - of course he does, because who could resist Gordon - and the rest of the journey is spent with Virgil poking out increasingly obscure sea creatures in the condensation. 

Outside the bus, the sun rises, the fog clears, but thick white clouds remain. Virgil happens to glance up as he walks his brother to the kindergarten classroom, and says, “hm, I wonder if it’ll snow today,” and Gordon stops dead.

“Today?! Is it gonna snow? Today?”

Virgil suppresses a yawn - how is he still tired? - and shrugs. “Johnny thought it might. S’the right clouds for it.”

An electric buzz shoots through Gordon’s limbs and he can feel himself practically vibrating with excitement. Actual snow! Today! He can’t wait, even as Virgil tugs him across the ice-slicked playground towards school.

It’s going to snow!

****

Or so he thought.

Gordon’s been watching the window all day, to the extent that Mrs Cartwright has had to call his name three times to drag his gaze from it. He can’t help it that her classes are boring-schmoring and he already knows how to sound words out. 

He’s only been in kindergarten for a year or so, but he’s less than impressed. John always gushed about school, sure, but John’s a nerd (he’s allowed to say that, because Johnny’s his brother), so Gordon took that with a healthy pinch of salt. Thanks to Virgil, Gordon’s heard enough about the arts department to last a lifetime, and again that’s not really his jam.. But Scott, too, was enthusiastic about his classes and Scott was cool. 

Well, you know what’s not cool, Scotty? 

Being stuck next to Barry Duckworth, who still mixes up his ‘b’s and ‘d’s. 

“Gordon, please don’t make me ask you again.” 

Gordon smiles serenely at Mrs Cartwright until she’s turned back to the smartboard, then tips his gaze back to the window. He can’t help that his brain goes a million miles a minute, until it snags on something, like the threads of Dad’s old Christmas sweater. And then that’s suddenly all he can think about for hours at a time; it’s why he’s so good in his swimming classes, because he can fixate on cutting through the water as fast as possible like nothing else, relishing in one of the few times he can outpace his brain. 

Anyway. Thanks to Virgil’s offhand comment, today his brain is absolutely fixed on snow and there’s nothing he can do except watch as the sky gets greyer. 

Maybe Johnny was wrong and they weren’t the right clouds, after all…

****

Except, Johnny’s never wrong - something he’ll only truly come to appreciate later in life - because when the school bell finally rings for hometime, he and Darry Buckworth spill out into a playground that’s ever so slightly dusted white.

Gordon grabs Barry’s arm excitedly, has the bizarre desire to lick the icing sugar-like substance. He resists, only because his mom’s standing at the gate and the desire to fling his arms around her outweighs the urge to get a good taste of the playground. 

Besides, he tells himself, he can play in the snow later.

But there’s no time - there’s never enough time. Between rushing to his swimming lesson, dropping Virgil at his piano teacher’s place, taking Scott to Scouts, collecting John from Science Club, and the constant backdrop of little Allie’s wailing, the Tracy family is zombie-like over their dinner that evening. 

It’s all Gordon can do to shovel chicken pie in his mouth as his eyes droop lower and lower, until they finally close all the way. He would have face planted straight into the remaining saucy goodness on his plate if it weren’t for Scott’s lightning quick reactions. 

Before he can find the words to ask about the snow, he has Gordon tucked up in bed. His eyelids are too heavy to even glance out of the window, and so Gordon surrenders to sleep with weary acceptance.

****

The next morning, Gordon wakes to a whole new world he’s only seen in picture books. 

He can’t believe how bright it is, it almost hurts to look at the dazzling, unfamiliar shapes across the fields. The sharp edges of every building have been softened beneath a wedge of snow, the field boundaries vanished under an endless white expanse, trees that were bare only yesterday now swaying beneath the weight of their new finery. Delicate crystals of ice dangle from the windowsill. Tiny snowflakes trim the edges of his window like lace. 

“John. John, you were right!”

John grunts something back at him, rolling over and Gordon rolls his eyes.

One glance back outside has him letting out a whoop loud enough to wake even a hibernating bear. Gordon flings his door open, banging into his oldest brothers’ room and shaking Scott’s shoulder till he stirs with a groan. 

“Snow, Scott, it’s snowed.”

A growl from across the room has him retreating behind his oldest brother’s bed, because a barely-awake Virgil is a Dangerous Thing. 

“Gords, no,” Scott hisses. “You woke him.”

“Worth it!”

“Would someone like to tell me why I’m awake at 5:00am?” Virgil is the biggest softie in the world, with a heart of twenty-four carat gold, but in that moment his voice is deadly. 

Scott and Gordon exchange Looks for a split second, and then Gordon makes his escape, darting from the danger zone and leaping into his parents’ room instead. “Mom, mom, moooooom!” 

Dad cracks an eye open, murmurs something to Mom that sounds suspiciously like “save me from your son,” and shoves his head under the pillow. 

“Like he didn’t get this from you, Captain Snowball Fight,” Mom retorts, but she’s got the fondest smile on her face as she looks down at her husband. 

Dad peeks his head from under the pillow. “You love me anyway,” he says, sleep lines crinkling an unfiltered, joyful smile.

“More than life, Jeff.”

And then she’s ducking her head to kiss him - and - gross -

Gordon makes a loud retching sound, dramatically flinging himself across the sheets and thereby crushing any romantic atmosphere. 

Mom rolls her eyes, but it’s just as fond. “What is it, sweetheart?”

“It SNOWED, Mom it actually snowed! Johnny was right and it’s all white outside! I can’t wait to play in it, please can I go? Please? Do you think we’ll get the day off school? Please say yes, pretty please? I can’t-”

Dad swoops down, cutting him off with a surprise tickle attack and Gordon shrieks, writhing down the bed and flopping to the floor with a thud. 

He loves these moments with his parents more than anything else in the world - maybe even more than blue-ringed octopi, which is A Lot because have you seen them?! Living in a family of five brothers is absolute carnage and Gordon adores every second of it. But sometimes, it’s like he gets a little bit forgotten in the chaos, even more so since Alan was born.

Speaking of which, Alan, of course, chooses that moment to wake up, big blue eyes blinking slowly at them. Until he puckers his face up and begins howling. 

“I’ve got him!” Dad says, rubbing a hand over his face as he makes his way to Alan’s cot. “What’s up, little man? What’s with all the noise? You're gonna be like your big brother?” 

Alan brandishes his arms and Dad scoops him up, tucking up him against his chest and humming quietly. “Luce, love, I’ve got him,” he says softly, “I’m gonna need to go in to work this morning, so why not take this little sea monkey to play outside whilst you can?” He nods his head at Gordon, who perks up immediately.

“Actually, Dad, I don’t think I would be a sea monkey, they’re not much fun!”

“Oh, my mistake, what would you be then, son?”

“A seal, I think. They love to play allllll day long.”

“Sounds about right,” Mom says, ruffling his unruly blonde curls. “Alright then, little seal pup. Wrap up warm, let’s go play!”

****

John is awake by the time Gordon returns. As Gordon flings his pyjamas off, yanking on thick socks and sweats, John is there to steady him when he tries to shove both legs into the same hole of his trousers. 

“You’re going to want those gloves,” John says, pointing at the heap of discarded clothes on the floor. 

“Nah, I want to be able to feel the snow! Otherwise I won’t make the best snowballs.”

John rolls his eyes, but tucks Gordon’s gloves into his own pocket. “More fool you when you lose your fingers to frostbite.”

“What’s that?”

“John’s right, kiddo.” Mom is standing in the doorway, scarf wound about her neck and fluffy socks up to her knees. “Gloves on, or you’ll end up like Captain Hook!”

“He lost his hand, silly, not his fingers! Now come on!” 

Gordon seizes his Mom’s hand and John’s sleeve, dragging them excitedly down the stairs to the door, bouncing uncontrollably as Mom unlocks it. 

Finally.

Finally! 

Gordon darts outside, stumbling in the thick layer of snow that sinks him knee deep and lets out a cry of delight as he sinks his face into it, and-

“Noooooooooo!” he yelps - yelps, not squeals, thank you very much John - and leaps back towards the door. “It’s so cold!”

“Of course it’s cold, doofus,” John says. His tone of voice would be cruel if it were anyone else, but it’s John so of course it’s not. “It’s made of ice. Ice is cold.”

“But… but…”

A cold explosion strikes him in the chest, and Gordon turns an expression of utter betrayal to see his Mom grinning maniacally. “A little cold never hurt nobody!” she yells, ducking for another scoop of snow. 

Gordon lets out an indignant whoop, grabs a handful of snow and flings it back at her. It falls apart before it reaches her, snow scattering everywhere. The ice sticks to his hands, and he shivers at the dampness of it. 

Before he even has to ask, John has whipped out the gloves and is holding them out to him. He gratefully accepts, just as Scott rushes out of the house to join them. 

“Snowball fight!” he yells, eyes shining with glee. 

Virgil follows, still yawning a little, but he perks up at Scott’s words. “You’re on,” he says with a grin. 

Mom holds up a hand, “Scott and John against me, Virgil and Gordon.”

Scott hesitates. “But there’s three of you, and only two of us!”

“War is war,” Mom says, “there’s no shame in admitting defeat-”

“Oh you are on,” says Scott at once, as they all knew he would. “Come on, Johnny. We have some snowballs to make.”

Virgil bounds over to Gordon and Mom, and together they begin compiling their own mound of weapons. Mom shows Gordon how to pack it into a ball so that it doesn’t splinter apart, whilst Virgil quietly beavers away, producing snowballs at double the speed. Gordon’s cold but he’s also pressed between his mom and brother, and the warmth in his heart is absolutely worth the occasional shiver. 

Finally, they’re ready.

With a blood-curdling battle cry, Gordon launches the first snowball. It falls short - by a good few feet - splattering at Scott's feet. 

Scott starts to laugh, head back, just in time for Gordon's second snowball to strike him directly in the neck. 

Gordon lets out a cackle that has Scott narrowing his eyes and pelting snowballs in their direction. Mom hurls them back as good as she gets, snowflakes catching in her dark hair, whilst Virgil works to replenish their fast dwindling stock. The enemy - his brothers, that is - put up a valiant effort, but burn through snowballs faster than John can produce them. Soon they are backed up against the wall of the old barn, and Gordon is breathless and exhilarated and joyful. 

"Surrender or die!" he bellows, holding a snowball in each hand.

"Gordon," Mom says sharply, and Gordon sighs.

"Fine. Surrender or suffer!"

Even as they raise their hands in unison, John's grin stretches his cheeks wide and Scott's eyes gleam with amusement. 

Gordon is fit to burst with all of the warm, happy feelings inside of him, coursing through his veins like the ocean currents. 

****

Once a truce has been declared and Gordon's Squad are pronounced the rightful champions, the five of them drift in groups to catch their breath. It’s hard work racing round in snow, especially when you’re practically wading in it, and Gordon flops to the ground to relish in his victory. 

Virgil, predictably, begins creating, rolling a ball of snow round and round till it's as tall as Gordon! Scott and Mom head inside, tracking slush pools in their wake. John plops down beside Gordon, and then leans all the way back.

“What are you doing?” Gordon asks. John is now thrashing his arms and legs through the snow enthusiastically, flattening it beneath his gangly limbs. 

“Snow angel! You try!”

Gordon shoots him a dubious look, but obeys, copying John’s movements. John helps him up, and they survey their handiwork. One small, wonky angel, one with huge wings and long legs. 

“Snow day, guys!!” Scott sprints back outside. “The bus got stuck coming up the hill!”

If Gordon’s being totally honest, he’d forgotten today was technically a school day at all, too caught up in the fun and frivolity of experiencing his first ever snow.

“Try to look a little less delighted, Gordon,” Mom laughs, back in the doorway with Alan in her arms. He’s cocooned in layer upon layer, eyes wide at the landscape around him. Scott heads to where Virgil is jabbing sticks into his snowman’s sides, and holds out a carrot. Beaming, Virgil takes it and turns to Gordon. 

“Wanna help make your first ever snowman?”

“Yes!” 

“You can do his nose! Here,” Virgil puts the carrot in Gordon’s hands, and lifts him beneath the arms so that he’s level with the snowman’s head. Grinning, Gordon pushes the carrot in, laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. 

It’s the perfect day, and it’s barely 9:00am. No day will ever top this day. 

Unable to find the words to express all the happiness dancing little jigs in his chest, he grabs Scott and Virgil, clinging to them in a cuddle. John joins them, and before long, Mom and Alan are there too, Allie clutching at Gordon’s curls. 

It’s overwhelmingly wonderful: warming in a way that is less to do with physical heat and more to do with the absolute overflow of love in his heart. 

Later that day, they’ll stand around the kitchen, dripping over the tiles and arguing over who gets the first dibs of hot water. They’ll regroup in the lounge, Scott and Virgil curled together on one couch, John at their feet, Gordon tucked between Mom and Dad (who admits defeat when the car engine refuses to sputter into life) on the other. They’ll cradle Mom’s magical hot cocoa in thawing fingers - and Gordon’s will be more marshmallow than hot chocolate - and put on a movie they’ll be too busy talking through to pay much attention. Dad will light a fire, guiding Scott through creating the perfect log stack, and the crackling heat of it will lull them to sleep one at a time. 

It will be the perfect day.

[gay-otlc]

A Risk I Want To Take

Summary: Pyrokinetics were never destined for happiness, and when Marella grows painfully aware that she could lose control and hurt the people she loves, she has to decide whether loving Linh is a risk she's willing to take.

Content warnings: (Imagined) death, cursing

Words: 2349

(Read On AO3)

"-Linh!" Marella screams, her eyes flying open. Wildly, she flings her arm out, searching for her girlfriend. It's cold; her blanket must have been thrown off the bed. She can't breathe. Distantly, she notices her cheeks are wet. She barely registers any of this, too panicked to think of anything but finding Linh.

Or... will she never find Linh? Did that really happen? Is Linh really dead?

Did that happen long ago, and her dreams were simply memories? It's so hard to make the distinction. Her brain is foggy with exhaustion and messy with panic, she can't think straight. She thinks she and Linh went on a date together just last night, but maybe that happened a million years ago. Maybe it all happened a million years ago; her life before Linh, and when they met, when they fell in love, all their time together. Maybe it's been a million years since Linh turned from a girl filled with life and kindness and beauty into a pile of ashes, since Marella destroyed her.

Maybe none of that ever existed. Maybe the only thing that's really real is right now, Marella, sitting upright in her bed in a cold sweat, frantically looking around the room as she still sees Linh dying every time she closes her eyes.

Marella knows she would never do anything to hurt Linh- or at least, she thinks that. She thinks that. But can she have one hundred percent certainty, really? Because it's never a guarantee that Marella is safe. She's a ticking time bomb, really. In recent years, she's gotten much better at controlling her outbursts of fire, but they aren't impossible. Panic attacks nearly made her burn her house down multiple times; they would have if Linh hadn't extinguished the fire. If she got upset enough, she might have burst into flame once again, and destroyed everything around her.

The longer she thinks about it, the more she's convinced of it; when she went to sleep last night, her mind simply decided to recount the time she killed her girlfriend, rather than fabricating something fictional from her fears. That had to be it. Memories and nightmares are all blending together in Marella's mind, together forming a cold, gnawing fear, and the sound of Linh's tortured screams.

She holds out her hand, palm facing upward. Her eyes close for a second, then open again. Little flames spark from her fingertips. She watches the fire, its golden glow calming her down, strangely.

How could something so beautiful have killed Linh?

...

"I may be the Pyrokinetic, but you make my heart melt," Marella blurts. In her defense, Linh looks especially beautiful today. It's their first date, and Linh is wearing a light blue mermaid-style dress and has her silver-tipped hair braided, draped over her light brown bare shoulder. For what must be the millionth time since Linh agreed to this, Marella wonders how she could have ever gotten a date with someone so incredible.

As she realizes what came out of her mouth, she cringes, wishing for the ground to swallow her whole.

Luckily, Linh must have found it cute, because she smiles. "I may be the Hydrokinetic, but I'm drowning in your eyes," Linh responds, and Marella feels her face get hot.

"Um- uh- thank you," she stammers.

Linh's smile grows wider. She holds out her hand to Marella, who does her best not to grin like an idiot as she takes it. Their hands fit together perfectly, and Marella never wants to let go. And somehow, it gets better. Linh leans over, closer, and presses her lips softly against Marella's cheek.

Marella isn't convinced she's a person anymore. Maybe she's just an entity of excited butterflies.

If she could have frozen time at any moment, she would choose to live right then forever. Even if that isn't possible, she wants to be with Linh forever.

...

Somewhere, deep inside Marella, something points out that maybe Linh isn't really dead. Maybe it really was just a dream.

Marella finds it hard to believe that. Of course she's killed Linh, of course she'd gotten too close and ruined the best thing in her life, of course she had. That seemed incredibly in character for her. A Pyrokinetic, right? Fintan had told her once that Pyrokinetics were never destined for happiness. Linh had assured her that he was wrong, Marella would be the exception, her life didn't have to be ruled by his misery. Linh said they could find happiness together.

Foolishly, Marella had believed her.

Pyrokinetics were never destined for happiness, and she isn't an exception. Why had she thought she could be? Marella is nothing but dangerous, fire and smoke and destruction. No one should ever love her. Even if she doesn't have bad intentions, that doesn't matter; whether or not it's intentional, the result is the same. The world is in flames. Linh is dead.

Shouldn't she have known this would happen? There's a reason Pyrokinetics were banned, and it's because they're too dangerous to be allowed around anyone else. The Council was generally wrong, but even a stopped clock is right twice a day, and they were right about this. She should have listened to them and isolated herself, because maybe she would be miserable, but everyone else would be safe.

That's what they had said she should do.

Why hadn't she listened to them?

Every time she felt herself growing warmer, something angry and hot grow in her chest, her fingertips tingle with the desire for flame, she heard their voices in her head; You are not safe. Every time, she regretted not listening.

It wasn't hard at all to believe she had lost control eventually, not at all. The details are fuzzy, but it could have happened, and that means it probably did, and Marella has never felt so scared, not in all those times the Neveseen nearly killed her. Never.

"Linh?" she calls again, not expecting a response. She loves the way Linh's name sounds on her lips, full of soft warmth and light and love. It's nothing like that now; panicked and cold. "Linh, please answer me!"

Silence.

"Linh!" she screams.

It's soft, but Marella's sure she hears it: "What?"

"Linh!"

Footsteps sound outside her door, and it swings open. The lights flick on, and Linh is there. Her jet black hair is messy, face wrinkled in confusion. "Are you alright?"

A choked sob escapes Marella's lips.

...

"Don't fucking tell me I'm not allowed to see her!" yells Marella. "She's- She's my girlfriend, she's fucking everything to me. I love her! I fucking love her, and she's fucking dying, and I want to see her!"

Without waiting for a response, she wrestles the door open and runs in.

Everything freezes. The world falls apart; everything seems wrong somehow, like it's all been altered, and nothing will ever be right again. Marella can't move, maybe she's breathing, maybe she isn't- she can't tell. Linh might not have died yet, but it doesn't look like her odds are good. Her chest is rising and falling so slowly. Scarlet pools at her side and onto the bedsheets. She looks so fragile.

So corpselike.

Furiously, Marella swipes a sleeve across her eyes and takes a seat beside Linh. She takes Linh's hand- freezing cold and limp- in hers, squeezing it like she'll never let go. "Linh," she whispers, and then all of her efforts to hold herself together come undone. "It's not- it's not fucking fair," she sobs. "Not fucking fair. We just got together; you said you liked me, and we went on a date, and you kissed me on the cheek, and I knew I wanted things to stay that way forever. I knew I loved you. And then you go get fucking stabbed! It isn't fair!"

Linh doesn't respond.

"I love you!" she shouts. "Linh, I'm in love with you, because you're the most incredible person I have ever met in my life, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You're kind and caring and funny and sweet and brave and beautiful and a million other things, if I listed everything I loved about you, it would take an eternity. But we don't have the eternity we deserve; I don't know how much time we have, but I want it to be longer than the next few minutes. Please, Linh, you have to wake up, so I can tell you all the reasons I love you, and we can fall in love over and over again, every time we look at each other, and we can get married, and we can get old together, and we can watch the world change, and we can have forever. I love you, and I want that, but you have to wake up. So please, Linh, don't die. You're not allowed to die. I won't let you, because I fucking love you!"

Linh doesn't respond.

Of course she doesn't. This isn't some cheesy romance story, a badly written cliche. This is real life, and miracles don't happen in real life.

"I love you, Linh," she repeats. "I'll love you forever. Even when you're gone."

She presses a kiss to Linh's knuckles, and then backs her chair up a few inches so she can curl into herself and cry.

An hour passes, and Linh doesn't die. Then another, and she's still hanging on to life. She survives the next hour, and the next, and then next, until Marella's been by her side for a full day and Linh is still alive.

She wakes up after three days, and Marella holds Linh more tightly than she was aware was possible, and whispers I love you over and over again until it no longer sounds like words. Linh is back, and she'll never want anything again, because she could not be happier.

...

"You're alive," Marella breathes, feeling incomprehensible relief wash over her. She springs up to hug Linh tightly.

Linh squeezes back after a moment of pause. "Um... yes. I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because I killed you!"

Gently, Linh untangles herself from Marella's desperate embrace. "Darling, I love you so much, but you're not making any sense." She bends down to kiss Marella's forehead and takes her hand, leading her back to the bed, where the mattress bends slightly as she sits down. Marella sits beside her, but slides away, just in case she sets Linh on fire for real this time. "What happened? Are you alright?"

Marella is shaking. Has she been shaking this hard the whole time? And she thinks there are fresh tears on her cheeks. "I- I had a nightmare," she whispers, feeling stupid as she says it. Panic washes over her again as she remembers how it felt to watch Linh be consumed by Marella's own flames, to watch Linh die. "We had an argument, and I- I lost control of my Pyrokinesis, and you died. And- and I could have stopped it, but I was mad, and I did no-nothing when you screamed for help, and I didn't care that you were dying. I didn't care!"

"Oh, darling, that sounds horrible. I'm so sorry," says Linh, opening her arms for another hug. Fear flares up in Marella's chest, and she slides away again, shaking her head. Why is Linh apologizing to her? She should be the one apologizing- for being dangerous, for being such a mess, for not caring. "Marella, you don't have to be afraid of hugging me. You wouldn't do that for real. I'll be alright."

"You don't know that," Marella argues.

"No, I'm not absolutely, one hundred percent certain that you will not light me on fire. But I'm fairly sure, and I love you, so I'm willing to take that risk."

"Well, I'm not." It was the most terrifying experience of Marella's life when she thought she had killed Linh, and she never wants to risk feeling anything like that ever again.

"Marella, I know you're not a bad person," Linh says, and even though Marella knows it's a lie, it still sounds nice. "I know you're guilty about having not helped me in your nightmare, but you're so terrified right now- that's proof that you care about me. It was a nightmare, Marella, that doesn't define you."

"But- but it could happen in real life. It could happen. I could hurt you so easily. You'd be safer if you just stayed away from me."

Linh takes Marella's hands in hers, squeezing them tighter when Marella tries to pull back, and looks her in the eyes. "I'd be safer, maybe, but I wouldn't be happier, and I love you so much. You're a risk I want to take."

"I don't want you to-"

"I know it's scary," Linh says. "I know you're scared of hurting me, and I love you for trying to protect me. But I know what it's like to be dangerous, and to be terrified of hurting the people you love, and I know isolating yourself won't help. Nothing I say is going to make all the fear go away, but I want you to know; I love you, Marella Redek. I love all of the wonderful things about you, and I love all of your flaws, and I love your Pyrokinesis too, because it's a part of you, and I love all of you. Loving someone is always a risk you take, because when let yourself be vulnerable with someone, you risk them hurting you, and you choose to love them anyway, because sometimes happiness is more important than safety. Loving you is a small risk compared to the enormity of my love for you, and you're more important than the safety I'd get from always avoiding Pyrokinetics. You're a risk I want to take. Do you feel the same way?"

It's terrifying. Marella is terrified. Hurting Linh is, without a doubt, the most terrifying thing there is. And yet... loving Linh is the most wonderful. "Yeah," she says finally, quietly. "You're a risk I want to take."

[duchessfics]

Midnight Disclosure

(https://friendly-deatheater.tumblr.com/post/152731371953)

(https://alainashuffman.tumblr.com/post/66522632737/sarah-paulson-in-piggy-piggy)

Billie x Fem!Reader x Audrey

Requested by Anon: hi! i was wondering if you could you write some fluff for billie x reader x audrey? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i’ve gotta a lot of tough stuff going on and on top of that the world is going crazy, so my mental health isn’t doing very well. maybe r feels like a burden and doesn’t really talk about her mental health or problems because she doesn’t want to bother anyone so she avoids billie and audrey. you are one of my absolute favorite blogs!! take as long as ya need writing this!! ☺️💕

Warning(s): Mentions of anxiety and depression, description of a panic attack, Mentions of Covid-19 

Summary: On the eve of current world events, the reader is overwhelmed but doesn’t want to bother her girlfriends with personal struggles. However the truth eventually emerges and they offer support in a way that she hasn’t experienced.

Word Count: 4347

A/n: Tbh, I’m a little nervous to publish this just because I know Covid-19 is everywhere at the moment and it’s frightening. But I thought this could help with those of us who may feel overwhelmed or are struggling to fight inner demons. I am fortunate enough that even though I’m currently laid off from work I am in a relatively stable environment. And my heart goes out to everyone who is struggling right now.

With the time I have now I’m trying to write more and publish some content where if nothing else you can get an escape for a couple minutes. I’ll also be reposting others’ works too. If you are struggling know that I care about you and am willing to listen even if you just want to be anonymous. Wherever you are in the world I’m sending positive thoughts/vibes/prayers your way. 💖

“Y/n, darling!” Billie calls out from the kitchen. 

In response you get up from your spot on the couch and walk over to where she is. When you enter the luxurious kitchen, the medium gives you her million dollar smile and curls her finger in a beckoning motion, showing off her fresh set of acrylic nails—cherry red of course. 

You smile back, cheeks warming as you come within close proximity. Then she leans in and pecks your lips before asking you, “Were you busy, sweetheart?” You shake your head and ask, “Why?” Billie takes a step back and picks up a slip of paper off of the countertop while replying, “I wanted to ask if you could run out and buy a couple things we need?” 

You take the list from her and scan over the items before returning your gaze to her chocolate brown eyes and asking, “Is Audrey around to come with me?” The blonde gives you a sympathetic smile and lifts one of her hands to cup your face before she answers, “She’s rehearsing her lines for the next couple days of work. And I have a conference call with a couple of producers in ten minutes.”

 You look down and nod in understanding, but feel bummed that you’ll be going alone. However Billie uses her hand to guide you to look at her before soothing, “When you get home, Audrey and I will give you something special. Ok?” 

The way she smirks at you makes your ears burn and a small giggle slips out of you before you reply, “Ok.” Her hand falls away from you and she gives you another brief kiss, letting her plump lips press against yours a little longer than before. Then Billie says with a wink, “I’ll see you later, babygirl.” 

You tell her goodbye and gather your purse and keys before walking out to the multiple car garage. Then you climb into Billie’s “old” sports car. In reality, the car isn’t that old, but she bought a new one and has basically given you this one. You climb in, turning the car on with a low growl and speed off to one of the local grocery stores…

You assumed this would be an easy in and out task, however as you pull into the parking lot it is jammed packed and you struggle to find an available parking spot. 

Maybe...there’s a really good sale? But you have never seen the supermarket this busy. 

Finally you find a space to pull into and step out of the car, list in hand. While walking towards the entrance, people pass by and have their shopping carts filled to the brim with cleaning items, toilet paper, canned goods, and water. Beyond the stuffed shopping carts, you also notice that each person’s facial expression is tainted with worry. 

In the midst of looking around, you nearly get run over by someone pushing their cart towards you. Luckily you back up out of the way with a gasp as they say on the phone, “They’re running out of everything. I’ve never seen so many empty shelves. You better come here soon or it will all be gone.”

Without you consciously realizing it, your heart rate has increased and you take shallow breaths. But you look to the ground, trying not to notice the numerous other people around you. 

You can do this. You only need three things: eggs, milk, and a bottle of Audrey’s favorite brand of fruit juice. No big deal. 

But when you enter the bustling building, a small whimper escapes your throat when you see the massive line of people checking out. Each cart is packed with items and the employees rush around trying to appease the masses. 

You don’t realize you’re frozen in place until someone brushes past you, letting out an annoyed huff. 

Maybe you should get more? You could call Billie—except she’s in a conference call. Should you call Audrey? She’s working too. You can just grab a couple extra things. Deep breaths. You can do this. 

You grab a shopping cart and wipe the handle with a sanitizing wipe before beginning to navigate through the packed aisles to pick up the items…

By the time you return to the car, your breath is stuck in your throat and your eyes smart with tears. You manage to unload the grocery bags of items into the car’s trunk before you get into the car and break down into tears. 

Yes you bought the three items. But in your panicked state you also filled your cart like everyone else. And you weren’t fast enough to even get any toilet paper or sanitizer. Why do you always fail when it’s most important to perform well? 

Your hands shake in fear and you know you just spent much more than you intended, but you’re so scared. Everyone is rushing around and things are flying off of the shelves so you panicked. As you cry and gasp for air, the thought crosses your mind to call your girlfriends. 

But they’ve never seen you like this. And you don’t want to bring them down. They’re so busy right now. You don’t want to burden them with your irrational thoughts. So you do your best to pull yourself together on the drive home.

When you pull into the garage and turn the car off, you make yourself take a couple deep breaths, collecting your emotions enough to get past them. For now you only pick up the three items you were sent out for and leave the rest to bring in when they’re gone. You were out for at least an hour, but hopefully they won’t notice.

You walk in to see Audrey pacing the length of the kitchen while listening to someone on her phone. She huffs and crosses her one arm over her chest, not giving you more than a stiff smile and honestly, you’re grateful. 

You slip off your shoes while she scoffs before arguing, “I don’t see why we are considering not filming at this point. I have been thoroughly rehearsing this role and have plenty of auditions and other projects after this.” 

Meanwhile you hear the news playing in the background from the living room.

 As she keeps pacing, you quickly put the items in the fridge, listening to her continue, “We’re already behind on production. If we don’t keep going now this will be a complete loss for everyone involved. Yes, I’m sure that I would take that risk to finish filming.” You silently leave the room and peek your head into the living room where Billie stands with her back to you smoking a cigarette while watching the news.

Before you can get any more anxious, you clear your throat and softly murmur, “I-I got everything on the list. I’m just going to lie down and rest for a bit.” She lets out a puff of smoke before partially turning towards you, but her eyes remain on the TV as she mindlessly replies, “Alright, thank you, sweetheart.” By the time you finish mumbling, “You’re welcome.” she’s back to watching the news. So you back into the hallway, your shoulders sagging as you hear Audrey’s frustrated words and the news.

Once you make it to the bedroom, you shut the door behind you and make a beeline for the bed. Then you flop back on it, letting out a sigh. 

However, you shoot back up and mutter, “Shit.” 

How could you be so stupid? 

You rush over to the bathroom and turn on the sink tap, wetting your hands before scrubbing them with soap. After humming happy birthday to yourself two times you rinse your hands and dry them off, just finishing when your phone rings. 

As you walk back to the bedroom, you pull your phone out of your pocket to see it’s your sister. So you press the answer button, sitting on the edge of the bed as you say, “Hello?” 

She greets you before asking, “Have you been watching the news? They’re saying the coronavirus is spreading especially quick in LA.” You let out a sigh, trying not to panic again as you answer, “Yeah. Things are pretty chaotic, but I just went grocery shopping so we should be good.” 

In response she warns, “Just be extra careful. This whole thing is getting worse and worse. Try not to go out.” You assure her you won’t and tell her you love her before saying goodbye. Then you fall back against the bed and snuggle under the covers. 

Maybe a nap will help you. 

But just as you get into the foggy daze of sleep, your phone dings. So with a groan of annoyance you pull out your phone to see your mom texted you, 

Did your sister call? 

You quickly reply, Yeah. Then you toss your phone out of arm’s reach before burrowing back under the covers.

However, your phone dings again, interrupting your quiet time. Maybe if you ignore her you can just text later. But after hearing 5 more dings, you toss the covers back with a groan and pick up your phone. That’s when you see your mom has texted you five times. 

She’s really concerned about you in LA. 

I don’t know if you’ve been watching the news, but this is all they’ve been talking about. Everyone’s saying they’ve never seen a global pandemic like this.

And LA is one of the hot spots. Did you go out and get essentials? Think through what you’ll need for the next couple weeks and go fast. It may all be gone soon and who knows how long it will be sold out.

Also try to do some things even when self-isolating. We all know how you get in situations like this.

Are you reading any of this?

Your eyes well up at that last text. Maybe you are just a burden to the people around you. 

Before she decides to call, you sniff and swipe away the tears that threaten to fall before texting back, 

Yeah. I got stuff today. 

As soon as you send it, the message says read and three dots show up on the screen. Your stomach clenches with nerves as they continue to bounce. You are positive that she’s going to send you a long message and sure enough a wall of text appears:

Don’t let yourself sleep these days away. Spend time cleaning the house. Exercise. Read that book I sent you. Don’t spend all day on your phone. That’s a complete waste of time. Don’t stay up late at night. Eat healthy, keep a regular schedule. Do some knitting. Spend time cooking. Go outside. This is not a time to stay in your pajamas and watch TV all day. Don’t fall into bad habits because of a lack of self awareness and self discipline. If you do this time will be incredibly disappointing and wasted. These are just a couple small things. I love you and only want what’s best for you.

By now you feel that earlier heaviness resettling on your chest and the pressure of her words just feel like too much right now. So you turn your phone off and set it aside before sliding under the covers and succumbing to the darkness…

At some point you must fall asleep, because you’re awakened by a soft, British voice saying, “Y/n, darling. Are you awake?” You shift under the blankets and they get slowly drawn back to reveal Audrey smiling down at you as she comments, “I don’t know how you fall asleep with all of those covers pulled over you. You’re like a little mole.” 

Your eyes squint as they adjust to the light and you shrug your shoulders, still feeling quite drowsy. But her face gets serious and her eyes narrow before she asks, “Is something wrong? You look upset.”

Your heart clenches as you realize how your eyes probably look puffy and irritated. Luckily, you come up with a quick excuse, saying, “It’s just my allergies. They flared up for some reason.” 

Her disposition goes back to normal and she nods in understanding, making you inwardly let out a sigh of relief. Then she says, “Well, I came in here to tell you that dinner is almost ready.” So you assure her you’ll be out in a few minutes and freshen up before joining your girlfriends at the dinner table.

As the three of you eat, Billie says, “I was talking to my producers and it looks like we’ll have to delay filming after this trip.” You feel guilty for being relieved, but can’t contain the small smile that forms on your face when the medium looks at you. She smirks back and purrs, “I wonder whatever I will do with all of the free time after that?” Your cheeks heat up at her insinuation and she gives you a wink, leading you to look down to hide your grin.

However, the moment is broken by Audrey stating, “Well I still plan to travel and film. This whole thing is ridiculous.” 

Your smile fades at her words and Billie looks to the actress before teasing, “Awe come on, Audrey. Don’t you want to spend time with y/n and I?” But Audrey scoffs and sternly replies, “I have worked my ass off for this role. So unless everything shuts down, I will be traveling to finish filming.”

Your eyes widen at her determination, but you keep quiet, looking down to your food. On the other hand, Billie doesn’t seem fazed, assuring her, “I’m sure it will all be fine, darling.” before she picks up her glass and finishes off her wine. 

You try to finish your plate of food, but the anxiety you feel makes your stomach unsettled. All of this turmoil makes you feel like your anxious thoughts are eating you from the inside out. But you don’t say anything. Why trouble them when they have enough on their plate?

The rest of the evening goes by in a blur of watching TV and even though you sit next to your girlfriends, your mind is miles away stuck in a loop of anxiety about your girlfriends, your family, your friends, and even the world. These fears continue to run through your head and get bigger to the point that even though you lie in bed you can’t fall asleep. 

The faint sound of Billie and Audrey’s even breaths is soothing and you’re happy to see them both fast asleep with peaceful expressions. Normally you don’t catch them sleeping, but whenever you do they both always look so beautiful. 

Just being able to watch both women makes your heart feel like it’s going to burst. You love them so much. 

The way Billie flirts and compliments you all of the time especially when you’re down on yourself. Or how she showers you with gifts and will always hold you close. 

And Audrey. Sweet Audrey is always there to cheer you up and notices anytime you don’t seem to be doing well. She even did today. And if you ever question how essential you are to this relationship; she’ll immediately share how essential you are to them. If something happened to either of them in all of this—

That’s when you come back to reality and feel the tears streaming down your cheeks. Before you can get loud enough to wake them you slip out of bed and leave the bedroom. The first place you walk to is the kitchen where you get a glass of water, sniffling through your tears. 

Then you step over to the living room and take a seat on the couch, quickly finishing off the water before setting down the glass. While you feel anxious enough to stay awake, your body is also worn down from the panicked state you have been in all day. So you play a game on your phone. The minimal strategy is enough to distract you and as you begin to feel your stress and anxiety fading you hear from behind you, “What are you doing out here little mouse?”

Even though you recognize Billie’s voice, you still gasp and whip your head around to see her standing in the doorway with slightly mussed hair. But she still looks breathtaking. 

You look down and shake your head while muttering, “Nothing.” 

That makes her brows furrow and she comes closer as she replies, “It doesn’t seem like nothing, babygirl.” Then walks around the back of the couch to sit beside you. At first you turn to look away, but Billie softly says, “Hey,” then she brings her hands up to cup your face before guiding you to look directly at her. However, her brows are slightly furrowed when she asks, “Have you been crying?”

While she keeps your head from turning away, you can’t keep eye contact as you reply, “I-It’s stupid. I’m just being dumb.” The medium gently shushes you, skimming the pads of her thumbs along your cheek while murmuring, “Whatever is bothering you isn’t stupid, y/n. And you aren’t dumb. Please tell me what’s bothering you, darling. You can tell me anything.” 

While your mind scolds you for being weak right now and screams that she doesn’t really care, your exterior cracks and, after swallowing enough to feel like you can speak, you barely whisper, “I’m scared.”

Billie scoots closer, still keeping your face cradled in her smooth hands as she asks in a voice still husky with sleepiness, “Oh, honey. Did Audrey or I do something to upset you?” 

Right away you shake your head and reply, “No, never. It’s just…when I went to the grocery store today it was packed with people rushing around and grabbing things.” 

Then you take a deep breath before shakily continuing, “All anyone could talk about was the coronavirus. A-And I saw store employees being yelled at by multiple people. And when I was in the cleaning section there was this elderly woman looking for toilet paper—”

Your voice catches and you get teary-eyed as you whimper, “A-And the shelf was completely empty. P-People were pushing and shoving and she was just trying to pass. She looked so defeated and it—it broke my heart. That’s someone’s grandma and if someone did that to my grandma I would be so upset.”

You begin to shed tears as you continue, “Then when I got home, my sister and mother both contacted me about the coronavirus saying what I should do. Even though they were trying to be helpful I-I got overwhelmed. And just watching the news while knowing you and Audrey are traveling—”

You let out a choked sob before rasping, “I’m just so scared, Billie.” 

While you can’t see her face due to your blurred tears, the medium brings her hands away from your face to gather you close to her while murmuring, “Oh, sweetheart.” In response to her warm hug, you wrap your arms around her and cry into her shoulder. Then you say between gasps, “I-I told you I’m being dumb.” 

Billie strokes one hand up and down your back in a slow motion, softly shushing you while soothing, “You’re not being dumb, y/n. These are scary times. And I’m sorry we never asked about the grocery store or how you were feeling.”

After a while, you feel yourself begin to settle and merely let out soft hiccups whilst nuzzling into the bend of her neck. Her smooth, soft hair gently caresses your forehead and cheeks and she keeps quiet besides softly shushing you, holding you close to her. 

You feel spent as you mumble, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for all of that to come out.” 

Billie guides you to look at her and wipes away the stray tears on your sensitive, puffy cheeks as she murmurs, “You have no reason to be sorry, y/n. I sometimes forget what a kind, tender heart you have. You care about others around you so much it’s no wonder everything feels overwhelming right now. But that’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.”

Normally people would call you a “worry wart” or just tell you to stop being anxious, but you’ve never been told that it’s due to caring about others. You do care. And being anxious doesn’t have to be bad or make you a bad person. It just took someone rephrasing what you have been feeling in a way your own brain wouldn’t allow.

You’re not the problem. 

You give Billie a wobbly smile and whisper, “Thank you, Billie.” She smiles back and leans towards you, running her nose against yours as she replies, “You’re welcome, babygirl.” 

You keep quiet for a moment, feeling better. However, you straighten up and while you wish this wasn’t nagging at you, you need to know. So, you ask, “Will Audrey really still travel? Or you? It seems so dangerous to travel at the moment and I don’t really want to be left alone—”

Your girlfriend silences your worries with a soft kiss before soothing, “It’s ok, y/n. All of my travel ended up getting postponed. So, I’ll be home with you the whole time.” 

That confirmation leads you to let out a breath of relief and you nod. Then Billie loosens her hold on you and suggests, “You should tell Audrey how you feel.” 

Her idea makes you stiffen up and you look down to the lacy hem of Billie’s baby doll nightgown as you reply, “I don’t know…she talked about working so hard for this role and I don’t want to be the selfish girlfriend and take that away from her.”

The medium chuckles, making you look to her face and she says with a smile, 

“Now y/n, you know how dramatic Audrey can be at times. I know without a doubt if you told her how you feel she would reconsider. And, if nothing else, she wants to hear from you, honey.” 

She has a point. You bite your lip, pondering her words for a moment before slowly relenting, “I guess I could say something to her…”

Billie’s grin grows and she gives your cheek a small pinch before assuring, “I know you can do it. And I’ll be with you the whole time.” So, you return to your bedroom, holding Billie’s hand the whole time, and when you step into the darkened room, you see Audrey nestled under the covers breathing deeply.

Billie leads you over to the side of the bed the actress is closest to. Then, with one encouraging nod, she releases your hand and you slowly climb up onto the bed. Once you’re on, you place a hand on the her shoulder, gently nudging her while whispering, “Audrey?” 

She shifts in her sleep and turns to face you, opening her bleary eyes while she drowsily slurs, “Yes, darling?”

As soon as she shows any semblance of being awake you wrap your arms around her middle and pull her close to you, making her squeak in shock as you begin to plead, 

“Please don’t leave LA, Audrey! Please! I know you worked hard to get this role, but I don’t want you to get sick or be separated from me and Billie. Just please stay home. I know I’m being selfish, but I love you both so much and don’t want anything to happen to you. I’ll do anything you want to get you to stay home. Anything—”

While her senses are still fogged over from sleep, she lets out a low chuckle, hugging you back before she croakily soothes, “Hey, hey it’s ok, sweetheart.” making you stop your pleas. 

Then she pulls back to see your face when she asks, “You love us?” That’s when you register that you said those words. 

While you haven’t said those words out loud before, you don’t regret saying them. 

You nod, your cheeks warming as you look to her and shyly answer, “Yes. I-I love you, Audrey.” Then you look to Billie who still stands beside you both and say, “I love you too, Billie.”

Both women smile and Billie murmurs, “We love you too, y/n.” Then Audrey presses a kiss to the corner of your lips before huskily purring, “We both love you so much, darling girl.” You sheepishly smile and turn to face her again, sharing a brief kiss on the lips. 

Then she looks to you and apologizes, “I didn’t mean to frighten you earlier. While we’ll be tying up a couple loose ends the next couple days, it looks like any further production has been delayed. So I’ll be here. Ok?” While you feel bad, knowing how much Audrey loves acting, you can’t help but feel relieved. You nod and reply, “Ok.”

Billie starts to join you both on the bed, so you shift to let her have room. However, she takes your wrist and teases, “And just where do you think you’re going, babygirl?” 

You look to her smoldering gaze and slowly answer, “My side?” The medium chuckles and murmurs, “Oh no, that just won’t do. You can stay in the middle so both of us can love on you.” Her sultry tone makes you blush, and you nod at her instructions, staying put while both women move to keep you in between them.

Once you’re settled, Audrey spoons you from behind and Billie snuggles into your front. For the first time today, you feel the weight completely lift off of your chest and within minutes your eyes begin to get droopy. 

Billie tucks your hair out of the way while soothing, “If you start to feel anxious again, you can always come to either of us.” Then Audrey kisses just behind your ear and murmurs, “Whatever happens we’ll get through this together, love.” You relax into their arms and nod, sleepily saying, “Thank you.” And even though you still have feelings of being worried and depressed, you begin to sense a pinprick of hope in the midst of the tumultuous unknown.

Tagged @marilynroselleprentiss​ @saviorinsilk​ @chokemepaulson​ @versonstar​ @find-me-a-constellation​ @cordwliagoode​ @psychobitchtess​ @midnight-lestrange​ @mysweetdelia​ @venablesbitch​ @peachesandlesbians​

Let me know if you would like to be tagged in later works!

Please remember: you matter, you’re important, and you add beauty to the world. Sending love. 💖

[jawritter]

You and Me...

Chapter 22

***SERIES WARNINGS**** Rape, non con, male!rape, injury, violence, discription of injury caused by rape, nightmares, self harm, panick attackes, implied female non con, language, ass hole Jensen, hurt!jensen, dark fic, smut. If there is anything else I will add it as I go.

***Chatper Warnings***  TRIGGER WARNING!!! VIVID DESCRIPTION OR NIGHTMARE, Rape, discritiption of the begginging of rape? I guess that would be a good way to say it. Unconsented touching, oral, and implied anal fingering, (again all dream induced, but may be triggering for some!) Description of being sick, (vomiting), language, angst, some fluff, I think that’s everything. I don’t want to give too much away!

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 1450

A/N: As always all mistakes are mine!, Please do not copy my work!! Feedback is gold! I hope you enjoy this one! (Nightmare is in bold print.)

Summery: It’s funny how one choice you made can change your whole life. One mistake can alter you course, and set you on a path that forever will haunt you. Two people find themselves getthing through one of the hardest trials of Jensen’s life, on just one small promise. You and Me. We’ll get through it together…

Want more? Check out my masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***YOU AND ME MASTERLIST***

Jensen's POV:

"You sure are pretty." The slimmy voice graveled in Jensen's ear, making his skin crawl. 

"We're going to have a lot of fun with you." He said, and three other voices chuckle around him. 

Jensen tries to move his legs, and arms around him, but he couldn't. As his foggy vision cleared there were three things that came to the forefront of his focus. 

His head was throbbing as if it had its own pulse. 

He was chained to a bed again.

And he was completely naked.

He felt a rough calloused hand side up his inner thigh slowly as the large man circled the bed. Moving closer and closer to his manhood.  He started to scream as loud as he could, praying someone would hear him. 

Thrashing his body as hard as he could against his restraints. Doing his best to close his legs as the man's hand moved closer and closer to its goal. 

He gagged, and started to vomit as a warm mouth of another man came around his cock, and the man who had his hand on his thigh inserted two fingers harshly into his rectum. 

Nausea is what pulled Jensen from the nightmare. In a way he was thankful, but in a way he wished his stomach would stop trying to expel everything that had touched it that day. 

He sat up on the side of the quickly and quietly as he could as to not wake up y/n. Staggering towards the bathroom, and closing the door, barely making it to the toilet before he wasn't able to hold back any longer. 

Hitting his knees on the cold tile floor. Violently sick.  

He heaved against his stomach. Trying everything he knows to do to stop the violent attack on him caused by the dream. That's when he heard the door open behind him and felt y/n's hands on his back. Rubbing it soothingly. He leaned back carefully. Still not trusting his own stomach. Laying his head on your lap as you sit on the tub next to him.

"You okay there handsome?" You asked, reaching over in the small bathroom and grabbing a washcloth. Running it under some cold water, and rubbing it against his forehead and neck. 

"Yeah, I'll live." He says, still shaking a little, and fighting against the memories that were just below the surface. 

"Another nightmare?" You finally asked after he stopped shaking. 

"Yeah." Was all Jensen could answer. His stomach was still rolling, and he didn’t trust himself to get up from the floor just yet.

"Wanna talk about it?" You ask, checking him over again. 

"No, it's not worth talking about. I said, I wanted to get away from all that shit. I hadn't had a nightmare in days. Much less woke up sick like this in months. Why now? We were supposed to be having a good time." He said, standing slowly to his feet. Holding onto the wall for support as he made his way towards the bed again. 

"Baby, you can't run from things like this, and we are having a good time.” You tell him wrapping your arms around him as you both settle down into the bed. His head on your shoulders os that you could card your fingers through his hair. Helping the tenseness of his shoulders to ebb away slowly.

“You're doing so good Jensen, you're so strong, you're doing better than any of us expect you to do, and one bad night is nothing to be ashamed of or upset about. Let’s get you back to sleep, and in the morning you will feel a lot better.”

Your POV:

The light shone brightly through the window the next morning. You sat up quickly, checking Jensen to make sure he was still sleeping peacefully, which he was. 

He had scared you last night. He'd done good for days. That must have been a pretty vivid nightmare, he hadn't woken up sick like that in a long time.

The rest of the night seemed to go peacefully once you'd gotten him back to sleep, and you hoped that was the last of the nightmares on this trip for him. He was so upset about it, and you wanted him to enjoy himself, not worry about nightmares. 

Today the two of you would make the next leg of your journey together.

Sliding out of the bed, you pack your things as much as possible, and as silently as possible in hopes of getting on the road quickly. 

He had been doing so well. You didn’t want him to relapse because of the stress the return of Supernatural was causing him. You refused to lose your Jensen to memories of what those sick fucks had done to him, and you were determined to do whatever you could to help him get through this and get his life back on track.

Several hours later you were back on the road after Jensen had takens some pretty awesome looking pictures of some of the old famous ruins, and old western style scenery. He was in his seventh heaven. That smile that you loved so much back on his face as the road stretched out in front of the two of you. 

Almost as if the nightmare last night hadn’t occurred, and that much you were thankful for, and were finally able to breathe a sigh of relief. 

Just because he was acting better doesn’t mean that the problem has gone away, because you knew that it had not, but he couldn’t let it define him. That was what you were most concerned about. So far he seemed to be handling it all well, or at least better than he was.

Later that day another park lunch, and more getting to know each other. You loved to hear the stories about him and his siblings, his family. The things he liked, and was interested in. The things he dreamed about doing. He seemed just as interested in yours. 

After about a 10 hour drive you two pulled up in Salt Lake City, Utah. Jensen had rented another bed and breakfast. This one was called the Inn On The Hill. An absolutely gorgeous, almost Victorian style bed and breakfast. Honestly one of your favorite errors that you'd written and read more than one book about.

After getting settled into the room for the night Jensen came bouncing back into the room. 

"Get dressed babe, I made us reservations at the Roof restaurant." He said, planting little kisses everywhere he could reach, crawling his large frame over yours that was stretched out on the bed. 

"Okay! Okay!" You tell him, trying to squirm away from him playfully. Shoving at his large shoulders. 

“You're insatiable!” You tell him as he rolls off of you. Going to grab his watch and wallet he’d taken off when he’d taken a shower a few moments ago.

“Yes, I am, and you love every fucking minute of it sweetheart.” He said, coming to cage you to the bed again. “Now quite being a little brat, and get that pretty ass dressed, I’m hungry.”

You stick your tongue out at him dramatically, and fold your arms over your chest. Ignoring your own growling stomach in order to annoy him further. 

You loved it when Jensen was this playful, and it didn’t happen often so you were determined to take as much advantage of it as possible. 

------------------------------

The restaurant was beautiful. 

You'd never really been to anything this nice before. 

The waitress brought Jensen and yourself into a back room, brought out a wine list that Jensen had quickly chosen from. Reaching across the table grabbing your hand in his. 

"What do you think?" He asked, gesturing around him at the fancy restaurant. 

"It's gorgeous! I love it!" You tell him, earning a proud smile from him. 

"When you travel a lot you find these little gems like this." He said, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand gently. “This one is one of my favorites.”

The waitress returned, and you both ordered your food. Which was brought back to you surprisingly quickly. 

The two of you ate your dinner in a comfortable silence. 

You did notice that Jensen kept nervously glancing around him, and you hoped that it wasn't his anxiety attacks coming back after the nightmare last night. 

This is the most he’d been out in public away from the comfort of his hometown. Sure there were fans in his hometown that wanted pictures, and things when he was out in public, but a lot of them he’d been around so much at convintentions and things he even knew some of them by name. 

You were also in a private room. So fans weren’t a problem.

"Baby, I got something I need to tell you." He said, looking across the table at you after making sure that the room was completely empty of waitresses.

 "Okay..." 

You look him over carefully. This wasn't the first time Jensen had started a sentence this way, so you had learned not to overreact, but after last night, you were a little nervous. 

What he did next, you didn’t expect at all. Not in a million years. 

Sliding his own chair back he got up, and walked over next to you. 

Then proceeded to get down on one knee, grabbing your hands in his he looked you directly into the eye. Your heart started to pound harder and harder with each passing second as he tried to take a deep breath to collect his thoughts. 

"You know, since the moment we met, I was falling in love with you, I was just too big of a damn coward to admit it. I haven't done right by you at all. I definitely don't deserve you. You sat by me in a hospital, cleaning me up every time I would get sick. Holding my hand. Sitting up with me through nightmares. I was weak. I wasn't half the man I should have been. I was a coward in a lot more ways than I could even begin to try to find excusable. The night I disrespected you that way.... You should have left me. I didn't deserve you to stay. Really I probably deserved to die that night like the piece of shit I was. Still you came back to me. I learned something that night.” 

Jensen took an unsteady breath, his eyes tearing up as much as your own before he continued.

“Baby, that's that I can't live without you. I love you. I always have, I've just been to dumb to see it. You're my everything. You always have been. I want to give you everything you deserve, and more. I want to spend the rest of my life making up to you everything I've ever done wrong by." 

Slipping his hand in the inside pocket of his suit coat he pulled out a little black box. Lifting the lid slowly, revealing the most beautiful engagement ring that you'd ever seen.

Your jaw hit the floor as tears flowed freely down your face. 

"Y/n, I love you more than my own life. I want to spend the rest of our lives showing you that. Will you do me an honor that I don't really deserve, and be my wife?" 

You sat there for a moment slack jawed In complete and utter shock. 

Of all the things you expected to come out of his mouth that wasn't one of them. 

He shifted nervously, taking a nervous breath, piercing green eyes searching your own. 

He was about to stand up. He looked defeated down at his knee. One big tear sliding down his perfect face, and making a little round spot on his black slacks. 

He thought for just a moment he messed up. Now he was about to lose you for real. He'd moved too fast, he'd scared you off. 

Reaching down, putting your hand on the side of his face, making him look up at you. Those beautiful candy apple green eyes that you loved so much full of so much emotion. He took a deep breath, and was about to say something, but you cut him off with your answer. 

"Yes."

In a moment his lips found yours. His arms pulling you close to him. He was kissing every free spot that he could find. When he was done he slipped the ring onto your finger. 

It felt at home there. 

"I love you so much, Jensen." You tell him as you both get back into the car to head back to the bed and breakfast. 

"I love you to y/n." He says, wrapping his arms tightly around you. Both of you just sitting there for a moment before he started the car to take you back to your room for the night. 

Tonight felt like the first night of the rest of your lives. 

Hopefully this was the beginning of better things for you both. 

You couldn't believe that this man was really yours. That you would be so lucky to have him want to be with you. 

He thought he didn't deserve you, but really it was you who felt like you didn't deserve him. He was more than you ever could have dreamed off. Scars and all. Because sometimes whether we believe it or not, it's the scars that make us beautiful in the first place. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624​ @busy-bee-angel-misska​ @justanotherwinchester​ @deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ 

Series Tag List: 

@idksupernatural​​ 

@fuzzycloudsz 

@supernatural-bellawinchester​​ 

@vicmc624​​

@imaginationisgrowth​​

@smoothdogsgirl​​

@stoneyggirl​​

@whiskeydreamingx​​

@doctorlilo​​

@deans-baby-momma​​

@ricanqueen20​​

@supraveng​​

@allonsy-yesiwill​

@glamourghoul138​

@winchestergirl82​

@d-whinchestergirl87​