#food essay

[falseandrealultravival]

Days of eating soil (book review) ... Tsutomu Mizugami's "food" essay

earthen pizza (just kidding)

Mr. Tsutomu Mizugami(勉　水上) (1919-2004) died recently, but he has an excellent book on "food". That is "every day eating soil, my devotion 12 months". (Although it seems to be read as "Minakami Tsutomu", he called it "Mizugami".)

When I used to read the manga "Oishinbo: a eater delicious foods", the main character, Shiro Yamaoka, when he said, "Among the cooking-related books that are full of street now,  it's only worth reading ..." I had an intuition, and that's right, Shiro mentioned this book. The only such (= worth reading) book is "days of eating soil". I knew this book about 30 years ago.

Days of eating soil-Twelve months of my devotion (Shincho Bunko)

• Author: Tsutomu Minakami

• Publisher / Manufacturer: Shinchosha

• Release Date: 08/27/1982

• Media: Bunko

However, if I get a little mischievous, "If only" the days of eating soil "are worth reading, then" Oishinbo "will also be" a book not worth reading ", and it will be praised for its worthless book. "Days of eating soil" also invites the paradox that "it is not worth reading". Well, it's the rashness of Tetsu Kariya, the author of "Oishinbo". "Oishinbo" should have been excluded.

Coupled with the appearance of this "Oishinbo" and "children who refuse to eat the food in front of them because they are too annoying with the ingredients", it was a work with greater merit and demerit.

By the way, Tsutomu Mizugami was born in a poor lumberjack's house in the Wakasa region of Fukui prefecture. Was sent to a Zen temple). There he learns the basics of Vegetarian food, but at the end he leaves the temple, experiences various jobs, and is recognized as a writer for his work "Frying Pan Song". Then He had became a Naoki Prize writer.

In this book, if you read it in anticipation of a "cooking recipe", you will be wrong. Well, there is a way to pickle Umeboshi in the upper reaches of the water, but this book is a book that describes the "heart of cooking". Of course, Mr. Mizukami's culinary spirit shines when he encounters various ingredients.

At the time of writing this book, Mr. Mizugamiami lived in Karuizawa Town, Nagano Prefecture. Therefore, he develops the topic of vegetables and fruits that he can make, receive, and buy by himself. One of them, the part where Dogen Zenzi's(道元禅師) words were chewed upstream of the water:

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

When cooking and preparing all items, do not look at them with the eyes of ordinary people. Don't think in the mind of a mediocre person. You have to pick up a piece of grass and build a big temple and go into something like a fine dust to do the Buddhist sermon. Even when making poor vegetable cuisine, you shouldn't be disgusted or poor. Even if you're making a good meal with milk, don't be overjoyed. You should hold back your bouncing heart. You must not be obsessed with anything. Why is there a way to dislike poor things? Why don't we try to be good without being lazy even if it is poor? Never let your heart move by being caught up in the goodness of goods. Changing the mind with things and changing the language with people is not something that is bodhicitta.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

33P-34P

This word is the fundamental thesis of "every day eating soil". For example, with regard to radish, while despising an actor who cannot sell as a "radish actor", he says, "There are no ingredients that are as grateful as radish that can be obtained anytime, anywhere." , I think that it is a good radish with enough "spiciness".

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Also, from the description in the chapter in July, myoga (Japanese ginger) is called "stupid" by the greengrocers. Shurihandoku(One of disciples of Buddha )has a weak memory by nature, often forgets his name, walks with his name tag down, and myoga grows from his dead grave. I followed him around. Here is a word from Mr. Mizugami: "For me, myoga is like a summer vegetable that I want to do a medal, but what do readers think? I don't know the vegetables that have the amazing flavor). "

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

122P-126P

A word of the day: Winter, when you eat only dry foods without blue vegetables, spring April and edible wild plants, bamboo shoots in May, plum making in June, Japanese ginger in July, and so on. Seasonal ingredients will appear naturally, and you will be able to see each ingredient and the dishes made with it. Please take a look at this work, which is like a gem that treats those ingredients without distinction.

[longreads]

In a new Longreads essay, Arkansas writer Jordan P. Hickey writes about a Palestinian American chef who honors her family's roots and culinary traditions through her pop-up bakery and cooking classes

And while these aren’t the most complex dishes to grace the text thread, they are the most remarkable, the most joyful, because they are the most improbable. They’re celebrated not because they’re beautiful, but because it means the family ate well that day—because they made something out of nothing.

Read Jordan’s essay, “The Expanding Table: Honoring Palestinian Culinary Tradition in Arkansas,” on Longreads.

[beetleandfox]

I love how unsanitized The Terror feels. Like there’s grime everywhere. You can tell those men smell bad. When they do surgery you can hear the bone being cut, when they get sick they look genuinely ill. The main character’s actor even has pockmarks, he LOOKS like he could be from the 1800s! And idk, I think it’s cool that we’re so aware of the characters’ carnal desires. They’re hungry, thirsty, freezing, etc, and it is so obvious that they have a body with needs!!

I think this also accounts for how horny the show feels, even though everyone is bundled up 90% of the time and there are no real romantic subplots. Besides the fact that it’s a very carnal show, it just has the intimacy and grime of true horniness. Is this thing on

[ink-ghoul]

now to my fave minecraft worldbuilding topic

what can you cook? what's edible? what's possible with enough imagination?

I'd like to start with things that are present in-game (vanilla), first, the foods and drinks (ingredients too), having a loaf of bread with a nice mushroom stew seasoned with dandelions for breakfast is an option taken straight from the game

now let's say that I take the apples, wheat, milk, sugar and eggs to make an apple pie, that isn't in the game, but it's something possible to craft

in an extend things like salt can exist because the presence of sea water, same as things like bacon (pigs), cheese (milk) and so on

what if I throw the existing leaves in hot water to make tea?

or since all the dyes have an organic source can I make a rainbow cake?

how you cook things must be important too I imagine, maybe steak cooked in the smoker tastes way better than cooked with a fire aspect sword

[milkbreadtoast]

**I am talking about exactly no one but myself

[sciderman]

you know i'm kind of obsessed with the tragedy of gwen stacy in the tasm movies because she's - she's such an interesting, tragic creature. we get into it a little in tasm1, that. you know, her father is a police captain - you know, authoritative. incredibly protective of her.

and looking at it, gwen is constantly the victim of men deciding what's best for her. her father decides it's best for her that she stay away from peter. peter decides it's best too, obviously, even though it hurts. it's not a question of what gwen wants.

thinking of the scene in tasm where gwen confides in peter, as she's cleaning his wounds, that she knows what this is - every day she sees her father strap a badge to his chest and she doesn't know if he's going to make it home or not.

gwen's powerless - she has these men in her life that she loves that are constantly making dangerous decisions that put their own lives in danger, and she's constantly expected to sit by passively and do nothing and pray for them to get home safely. like her own desires don't matter. she wants them to be there, she wants to have a say in what these men do, because she loves them and they're important to her. but she has no power. she knows that what they're doing is noble and good for the world, but she is sidelined and never listened to. she has no superpowers, no badge, and no say in the matter.

and her father gets killed. doing something stupid and heroic. and she wasn't involved, and she was powerless to prevent it. and even still, after his death, he's trying to push gwen out of the way of danger. strip her of agency in her own life. she can't be with peter. she doesn't get a say in the matter.

of course that doesn't work out, and peter and gwen wind up back together - but peter is eaten up with guilt, and still thinks he shouldn't be with gwen because gwen is safer without him, yadda yadda, and gwen is sick of it. gwen is sick of men dictating what becomes of her. what she can and can't have. where she should and shouldn't be. so.

i always made fun of this bit of script - it's so, so funny.

"i break up with you peter. i break up with you."

i make fun of it all the time, but i get it. i get why it's written this way. the tasm2 script isn't subtle. gwen is pointedly telling peter that she is calling the shots. peter cannot dictate her fate. this is her choice. she breaks up with him. she is the one with power in this dynamic. she is taking the power. she is not his damsel that needs protecting. she is allowed to tell peter what she wants, and make her own decision about what's best for her.

cut to the end, where peter webs gwen to a car. he wants her out of the line of fire. even though she's proven she's helpful and capable, more so than peter. peter wants her out of harms way, so that he can do something heroic and dangerous.

gwen is SICK of it!! she's going to be heroic and dangerous too. if these men can throw themselves into the line of fire with little care for the people they leave watching helplessly in the rafters than, by god, gwen can do it too. she's not going to watch helplessly as peter fights his battle on his horse, dick swinging, swords drawn. and she's not going to passively sit by as peter gets himself killed because actually, peter's not as smart as he thinks he is.

he's just stupid enough to take the hits and scrape himself off the pavement afterwards. gwen is the one with the plan. and if gwen weren't there, peter might not have been able to pull everything off. he probably would've eventually taken them down in the end, but he would've definitely taken more of a beating, and more property damage, and potentially, more civilian casualties. it was a good thing gwen was there. female excellence. it's not always about who can take a hit.

of course, in the end up - gwen winds up in peril, and no. she doesn't have powers that can save her. and, these men who try and do everything to protect her - they're fallible. but it was her choice. her choice to do the heroic thing, despite her fragility. her choice to step into the line of fire, without super-strength or spider-reflexes. and i think it's a poetic, heroic way to go.

one thing though, that i feel is mismanaged, almost infuriatingly so – is how underdelivered on gwen's death as a heroic gesture. in the end it becomes more about peter's guilt than it does about gwen's sacrifice. because they still wanted to have the iconic "fall" scene from the comics. so, in the end, gwen becomes powerless. she's mid fall. she can't do anything. she has to wait for peter to save her, in the end.

it's infuriating because captain stacy's death is unfalteringly heroic. he dies to save peter.

gwen puts herself in the line of fire to save peter. in the same way her father did. but she's robbed of the heroic framing her father gets because in the end, she has to be saved. in the end, it isn't framed like she saved peter. it's framed like peter failed to save her.

so we get a peter parker pity party instead of actually, what should be a beautiful, heroic send-off for gwen stacy, who became a hero despite every man trying to sideline her.

tl;dr tasm gwen deserved the same heroic framing her father got but hollywood messed up again because they don't know how to do female hero stories

[literaryvein-reblogs]

George Orwell's 11 Rules for the Perfect Cup of Tea

George Orwell:

If you look up ‘tea’ in the first cookery book that comes to hand you will probably find that it is unmentioned; or at most you will find a few lines of sketchy instructions which give no ruling on several of the most important points. This is curious, not only because tea is one of the mainstays of civilization in this country, as well as in Eire, Australia and New Zealand, but because the best manner of making it is the subject of violent disputes. When I look through my own recipe for the perfect cup of tea, I find no fewer than 11 outstanding points. On perhaps two of them there would be pretty general agreement, but at least four others are acutely controversial. Here are my own 11 rules, every one of which I regard as golden:

First of all, one should use Indian or Ceylonese tea. China tea has virtues which are not to be despised nowadays—it is economical, and one can drink it without milk—but there is not much stimulation in it. One does not feel wiser, braver or more optimistic after drinking it. Anyone who has used that comforting phrase ‘a nice cup of tea’ invariably means Indian tea.

Secondly, tea should be made in small quantities—that is, in a teapot. Tea out of an urn is always tasteless, while army tea, made in a cauldron, tastes of grease and whitewash. The teapot should be made of china or earthenware. Silver or Britanniaware teapots produce inferior tea and enamel pots are worse; though curiously enough a pewter teapot (a rarity nowadays) is not so bad.

Thirdly, the pot should be warmed beforehand. This is better done by placing it on the hob than by the usual method of swilling it out with hot water.

Fourthly, the tea should be strong. For a pot holding a quart, if you are going to fill it nearly to the brim, six heaped teaspoons would be about right. In a time of rationing, this is not an idea that can be realized on every day of the week, but I maintain that one strong cup of tea is better than twenty weak ones. All true tea lovers not only like their tea strong, but like it a little stronger with each year that passes—a fact which is recognized in the extra ration issued to old-age pensioners.

Fifthly, the tea should be put straight into the pot. No strainers, muslin bags or other devices to imprison the tea. In some countries teapots are fitted with little dangling baskets under the spout to catch the stray leaves, which are supposed to be harmful. Actually one can swallow tea-leaves in considerable quantities without ill effect, and if the tea is not loose in the pot it never infuses properly.

Sixthly, one should take the teapot to the kettle and not the other way about. The water should be actually boiling at the moment of impact, which means that one should keep it on the flame while one pours. Some people add that one should only use water that has been freshly brought to the boil, but I have never noticed that it makes any difference.

Seventhly, after making the tea, one should stir it, or better, give the pot a good shake, afterwards allowing the leaves to settle.

Eighthly, one should drink out of a good breakfast cup—that is, the cylindrical type of cup, not the flat, shallow type. The breakfast cup holds more, and with the other kind one’s tea is always half cold—before one has well started on it.

Ninthly, one should pour the cream off the milk before using it for tea. Milk that is too creamy always gives tea a sickly taste.

Tenthly, one should pour tea into the cup first. This is one of the most controversial points of all; indeed in every family in Britain there are probably two schools of thought on the subject. The milk-first school can bring forward some fairly strong arguments, but I maintain that my own argument is unanswerable. This is that, by putting the tea in first and stirring as one pours, one can exactly regulate the amount of milk whereas one is liable to put in too much milk if one does it the other way round.

Lastly, tea—unless one is drinking it in the Russian style—should be drunk without sugar. I know very well that I am in a minority here. But still, how can you call yourself a true tea-lover if you destroy the flavour of your tea by putting sugar in it? It would be equally reasonable to put in pepper or salt. Tea is meant to be bitter, just as beer is meant to be bitter. If you sweeten it, you are no longer tasting the tea, you are merely tasting the sugar; you could make a very similar drink by dissolving sugar in plain hot water.

Some people would answer that they don’t like tea in itself, that they only drink it in order to be warmed and stimulated, and they need sugar to take the taste away. To those misguided people I would say: Try drinking tea without sugar for, say, a fortnight and it is very unlikely that you will ever want to ruin your tea by sweetening it again. These are not the only controversial points to arise in connection with tea drinking, but they are sufficient to show how subtilized the whole business has become. There is also the mysterious social etiquette surrounding the teapot (why is it considered vulgar to drink out of your saucer, for instance?) and much might be written about the subsidiary uses of tealeaves, such as telling fortunes, predicting the arrival of visitors, feeding rabbits, healing burns and sweeping the carpet. It is worth paying attention to such details as warming the pot and using water that is really boiling, so as to make quite sure of wringing out of one’s ration the 20 good, strong cups that two ounces, properly handled, ought to represent.

Published in the Evening Standard, 12 January 1946

[longreads]

Predator or Prey

In her new Longreads essay, Diana Saverin explores the tensions inherent in  sustenance and desire:

I didn’t grow up killing animals, but there was a period in my mid-20s, the period that overlapped with my relationship with K, when I killed a lot. There was the beaver I retrieved by swimming naked through a half-frozen lake. The duck wings I hung like prayer flags from the porch. The organs we liberated from the belly of the caribou.

I had qualms. I’d stopped eating meat in high school, citing animal cruelty and climate change. In my 20s, I let my vegetarianism slip when I moved to rural Alaska. Eating caribou roast and moose tacos and salmon burgers seemed different than ordering a steak whose origins as an animal were concealed; these wild creatures led uninhibited lives in vast landscapes. Choosing to eat the calories from their flesh meant not eating something that had flown thousands of miles to reach me. It’s a painful inevitability: the calories have to come from somewhere.

Check out the full essay here.

[shripscapi]

shrip scapi wrapped: some favs of 2022

[millidew]

maizuru and milsiril are my favorite fucked up dungeon meshi mother figures

[beanghostprincess]

Sanuso Childhood Best Friends AU in which Sanji ends up in Syrup Village because the Orbit has to stop there for a while. They send little Sanji to buy food on his own with a bit of money (or, just, do whatever until he has to meet the crew again. They're a bit careless with the kid) and he meets Usopp when he sees the younger kid trying to steal food from the market. Usopp gets caught easily and the stand owner tells him to go away. Usopp replies with something along the lines of "If you don't give food to the great captain Usopp I will just send all my allies to destroy your business!!!" but it doesn't work (quite obviously) and the guy just ignores him. That just makes Usopp start begging because he doesn't have the money to buy anything and he doesn't want to go to Kaya's again. Besides, he doesn't want to go to the people who usually help him out because it's embarrassing and he doesn't want them to know. It's better to just either steal from this guy or beg. That makes 9 y/o Sanji's heart ignite with a passion and strength he didn't know he had inside, and he approaches the kid, staring intensely into the man's eyes and saying (with the angriest voice a 9 y/o can make) "Food exists to help the ones who're hungry!! You don't deserve this job!!" and the man stares down at him (Sanji's literally shaking, poor boy) saying that food is business and nothing else. And if he doesn't have anything to buy it with, he can go fuck off along with little long-nose. Usopp is amazed by Sanji's bravery and heroic behavior. Sanji hands him some beris, starts listing some stuff he has on display, and buys it. The man just has to give him the stuff, after all, but once he does he looks at Sanji like he's about to murder the kid. Despite being visibly shaking, little Sanji turns around at Usopp, his tiny hands being barely enough to grab everything he's carrying. So Usopp helps him, and they get out of there as quickly as they can once the man starts shouting at them.

They run for a while until they end up finally far enough to not see the man. Usopp is catching his breath when he turns to Sanji. "That was great! I- I could've handled it on my own, of course, the guy was super afraid of me, but-" And then Sanji just- He starts crying so damn loud. Usopp is completely lost as to why he's the one crying, but Sanji is literally shaking like a leaf and Usopp doesn't know what to do. "What's wrong?! I- Did- Did he hurt you or-"

"It was so scary!!" He holds the food tighter to his chest and tries to hold back the tears. "And- And he was so loud- I- Why were you arguing with him, dummy?!"

Usopp is, uh, a bit confused by the change of tone and meaning behind the kid's words. But he keeps crying and crying and shaking and Usopp can't help but feel awfully lost. "And why did you come to help? I had everything under control, you know?!" He really didn't.

"Because I-" He tries to wipe the tears away but they just keep on falling. "I'm a cook. I don't like it when people treat food like this. Especially when people are hungry." That catches Usopp a bit off guard, Sanji calming down for a few seconds before the crying starts again. He really tries hard not to cry. Like a man, or whatever. But his lower lip is betraying him. "He was so loud." Usopp really, really wants to do something to help, but right when Sanji says this, somebody riding a bicycle passes right behind Sanji, so close and loudly it makes him jump and sob harder. He makes himself even smaller. "Make it stop!" And so, of course, Usopp, as the hero of the village and bravest pirate and warrior of the seas, he takes Sanji's hand and leads him somewhere the older kid can't see because he refuses to open his eyes. But Sanji asks anyway, with the softest and smallest voice ever. "Where are we going?"

Usopp squeezes his hand. "You're a cook, right?" He turns his head around to Sanji, but doesn't stop walking. A huge grin shows up on his face when he sees the kid nodding. "Then you're gonna have the privilege to cook for the great Captain Usopp!"

And-

Usopp swears to this day that he will never forget Sanji's laughter at that moment. "A captain?" And it's like all his worries suddenly faded away with the simplest of lies. Usopp doesn't know if he's being genuine or if he's making fun of him, but the kid's smile makes his hands sweat. "Then I better make a meal worth of a king!"

Long story short, Usopp takes Sanji to his home and lets him cook in his very lonely and depressing kitchen. While the kid works, Usopp can't help but stare at him with impressed eyes. Sanji, on the other hand, has never felt such a rush when cooking for somebody. Not ever since- ... Mom. They talk about that too. They learn everything about each other. Usopp tells Sanji about his dad being a pirate and his mom passing away not long ago. He tells him about how the village and his best friend Kaya help him out most of the time, but he refuses to keep being so dependent on them, even if he has to beg strangers. He tells him about all of the adventures he's had and how people call him a liar out of jealousy. Sanji often believes what the kid says, being the naive kid he is, but he's smart enough to always think twice and realize that, okay, Usopp's stories might not be true, but if they make him happy, then they make Sanji happy too! If his dreams are told in the form of lies, it's kind of like Sanji's wish to find the All Blue. And so he tells Usopp all of that too. He skips the whole, um, family thing to talk about his dream. He tells Usopp about wanting to be a cook because of his ill mom (something they have in common!!). He tells him about his abilities in the kitchen! He keeps saying he'll be the best cook in the east blue!

It's nice having a friend. Usopp thinks Sanji looks really young for being two years older than him, and Sanji complains about Usopp being taller when he's younger. But it's nice, after all, to be with somebody who doesn't want to take anything from you.

Sanji's food is surprisingly good for a kid his age, and he's really glad Usopp likes it because he's been practicing for a whole year with the crew! Even if he makes the simplest of dishes, he's really proud of himself when Usopp won't stop praising him!

One thing leads to another, and when Sanji's crew finds him, they tell him they have to stay for a long while because their ship needs repairing and it's pretty grave. Sanji wishes he could say he's disappointed and sad, but he looks behind him at Usopp, and it kind of feels exciting to stay.

So they grow closer.

Sanji is always going back and forth between his ship and Usopp's home, but he barely spends time with his crew the days he stays in Syrup Village. Most of the time he even sleeps with his new friend! Sanji cooks for him and borrows money for them to buy the ingredients, explaining to Usopp everything that is to know about them. Usopp, on the other hand, is awesome at fishing, so they spend whole days at the beach trying to catch their food. It's the most fun they've ever had in their life. Usopp stops feeling lonely, and Sanji finally finds somebody who loves him for who he is. Usopp shows him beetles and insects and finds out that they make Sanji cry... He isn't proud of this, but sometimes (only sometimes) he places bugs on Sanji's way so he can save him. Sanji calls him his hero with the shiniest of looks, and Usopp just- He feels really warm inside. Sanji is always going to his crew to ask them about new recipes and things to learn while they're there, and he always makes them for Usopp because every praise about his food goes directly to his heart. They just keep on enjoying each other's company and many talents. Usopp even introduces him to Kaya! She's the cutest girl Sanji has ever met (not that he has ever met other girls besides his sister) and he's a bit jealous because it's obvious she likes Usopp, the guy just doesn't notice! If little Sanji isn't sure of who he's jealous of, that's something he refuses to think about.

"We're best friends." Sanji once says.

That gives Usopp the courage to respond with: "Then, when I become the bravest pirate of them all, you'll be my cook! You- You will, right?"

"Of course!" Sanji doesn't think he has ever smiled this much in the short period of time he has been alive. "Captain Usopp and the best cook in the East Blue- No! In all the seas!"

Loneliness is a word that now feels foreign to them.

But then, of course, Sanji has to go.

They promise to see each other again. They will, someday.

Sanji asks Usopp to come with them, though, but Usopp refuses.

"Come with me, Usopp! It's your chance to become a pirate!" (Don't let me go).

"I- I'm already a pirate, Sanji! Did you forget? I need to stay to protect this village from any harm and evil pirates that aren't like me!" (I'm so scared that not even wanting to go with you helps my legs move).

"But you said I'd be your cook!" (You promised).

"You'll always be my cook! And I'll always be your-"

"What kind of captain lets his cook go?!" Sanji yells, but he's the one crying the most.

"Sanji! Please! I- I'll do it. I'll sail someday and we'll see each other and we will be together but- But not now." The shame in Usopp's voice is obvious, and he can't tell lies from promises anymore.

"But I- What if-"

"I'll find you. The sea will bring me to you, don't worry! I told you I'm so good at fishing because I can speak their language, right? I'll just- I'll just send you messages through the sea! Just talk to the fishes and they'll tell you all you need to know. I'll always be with you!"

That, at least, makes Sanji laugh. "Liar. I know you can't speak-"

"But I'm not lying when I say we'll see each other again! Really! Believe in me!"

And Sanji has no other option but to believe.

Usopp tries to live years and years without regretting his decision that day, failing miserably. And Sanji keeps trying to talk to fishes even if he knows it won't work. He even asks some of them to save him (to tell Usopp they might not see each other again, at least) when he's stuck at that damn rock with Zeff, but they don't do anything. They don't even talk back at him. But he keeps believing for a while.

Until someday a gorgeous pirate asks him: "You're not in any crew, right?" Because she apparently wants him to go with her. And he would. He really would. But he owes too much to Zeff. So much he can't give it up. Not even for a girl, even if it hurts.

Her question is more painful than denying her the pleasure of being her cook, though. Because he has to respond with: "Huh? I- No. Had a captain once, though... Not that it matters now. Just- Not anymore."

When Luffy asks Usopp to come with him, he can see the shape of their long-lost best friend in Kaya's eyes. She always knew there was more between them than what they wanted to admit, but then again, they were just kids, so she couldn't really know at the time. Usopp hates having found out so late about it, but now this is a chance he won't waste. He can accomplish his dream and fulfill his promise at the same time!

And they do find each other, earlier than Usopp was actually ready for. Sanji drops a glass of wine when he sees him. Usopp basically trips and falls over the table and makes Zoro's food fall on his lap. Sanji's eyes never move away from him.

There's a long silence and a few weird looks being shared between the rest of the crew, but Usopp can't help but smile. He's extremely scared of what Sanji might say.

"I told you I'd find you, didn't I?" He tries to sound confident, but his voice falters.

Sanji can't stop smiling. "Took you long enough, captain."

Nami almost chokes on her food. "CAPTAIN?!" And the other two share the same startled expression.

But Usopp doesn't look at them. He's still over the table. It definitely looks ridiculous. "You- You're taller."

"And your hand is ruining my Quiche Lorraine." Sanji groans. "Could you not-"

"I'm sorry! I- I'm sorry. But don't speak to your captain like that!"

Nami interrupts him. "I thought you were lying when you talked about this guy!"

Oh. So he has talked about me. Sanji pretends he isn't forcing his heart to slow down.

So he just smirks at the redhead. "To be fair, madame, even if he tends to lie a lot-"

Nami rolls his eyes. "No shit, I figured."

But Sanji keeps going looking at Usopp. "Even if he does, he also keeps his promises."

By the way, you have to imagine them like this:

[megdchristopher]

When food is the central love language that binds people together, what place is there for those of us who don’t want to be fed? If “eating is[…]the exclusive privilege of the living,” does that make me simply the walking dead? You can’t be a picky eater in the dungeon. Okay, but – hear me out – what if you are?

WOULD YOU, COULD YOU, EAT A DRAGON? an essay about picky eating, ARFID, and Dungeon Meshi is now up on neverseemenaked.com, and I’d love it if people took a look, even if it’s to yell at me about completely missing the point.

(You can also find my cartoons about asexuality, anxiety, and other a-words!)

[sainzinnorris]

oscar's answer of lando being a golf player.. beaten by carlos when asked what would lando be if not for a formula one driver. which directly implies that oscar believes that even if they weren't racing together, they'd find a way to find each other in a completely different sport unrelated to motorsports altogether.

[thebardbullseye]

“Philosophical and Personal Musings on the Wizard Stone and the Axiom of Proliferation” – An Essay and Divinations for Arc 3 of “The Wizard, the Witch, and the Wild One”

From the Desk of The Bard Bullseye

Happy Birthday, Worlds Beyond Number!

Spoilers abound! This is an essay discussing the actual-play podcast “The Wizard, the Witch, and the Wild One” from the fine folks at @worldsbeyondpod It is an expression of my analysis of and engagement with the content of the second arc of the show and also contains some speculation about future plot and current themes. These interpretations are my own, include some reflections on my personal philosophy, and are written in a mostly academic style of writing (be warned, it’s around 3,000 words!). If you do read through it, I hope you find my points interesting and thought-provoking regardless of whether or not any of it turns out to be true (and I have done my level best to adhere to the facts of the story thus far, with transcript pages and timestamps cited when available/applicable).

Abstract (TL;DR, or I ain’t reading all that, but I’m happy for you):

The Wizard Stone’s discovery that the Axiom of Proliferation is untrue has major implications for the overarching story and the direction of the next arc. Herein, I explore my reaction to this moment in Episode 19 and how my experience and own philosophy potentially align with Stone’s. Then, I examine the logic of her argument and its implications for the greater worldbuilding in Umora. Specifically, there is a fundamental problem with the way that wizards are using the lingua arcana that is affecting the link between the Spirit and the Mortal worlds (i.e., the “greater binding”), and this is leading to detrimental effects. This, I believe is ultimately what Grandmother Wren (and now Ame) and Coven of Elders (and possibly the Man in Black?) are concerned with, though they have come to vastly different conclusions about who is at fault and how to solve this problem, which are yet to be revealed in the forthcoming third arc (see footnote 5).

Introduction

Something has piqued my interest and scratched a deep philosophical itch for me in the second arc of “The Wizard, the Witch, and the Wild One.” While the first arc introduced the characters, explored ideas of ‘quest fever,’ and masterfully wove in lore and character motivations for reclaiming Eursulon’s sword, Wavebreaker, the second arc has expanded upon the characters and their relationship to the greater philosophy of the Citadel and Umora.

I don’t usually speculate where stories might go next or craft my own fan theories. Especially for ongoing projects (i.e. TV shows, actual plays, books in a series, etc.), I tend to be along for the ride, and I spend time analyzing the story being told and the characters within. And rarely do I put these thoughts to paper, at least not coherently; I am more likely to ramble endlessly to a friend or lurk on Discord for others’ opinions, chiming in occasionally. However, I have noticed some things brewing in this arc that I wish to discuss at-length and even speculate upon: my perspective and analysis of the philosophy of the Wizard Stone, and the possible implications for the forthcoming third arc.

I don’t often see myself in stories. Not to say that I don’t see myself or parts of myself represented in media: i.e. demographically, socially, politically, etc., but rarely do I find a specific character or character motivation that ‘snipes through the duplex door’ where I go “oh shit that’s me” or “I relate to this on a deeper level.” This happened to me in Episode 19, when Suvi is investigating the records of her mother’s early time in the Citadel: her expulsion from the College of Divination and readmittance to the College of Abjuration because she had accused one of her professors of “treason against magic itself.”

Upon her dismissal from the Citadel, Stone wrote a dissenting missive to the Archmagi of the Citadel regarding one of the three metaphysical axioms, the Axiom of Proliferation, and how this particular axiom “does not describe any actual truth of the lingua arcana, nor does it more broadly describe any facet of the greater binding” (Ep. 19, transcript p. 12). She goes on to posit that not only is it “pure intellectual technology,” but that its continued acceptance as fact is a “danger to the future of wizardry” and “[a] stain on the face of magic itself” (Ep. 19, p. 12). An axiom in this context is described as “simple… laws that are given to young wizards about broad truths of spell casting in general… that are true across spells [and], … different schools of magic” (Ep. 19, p. 13). That is, “the Axiom of Proliferation is essentially that the more times a spell is written down … the weaker the spell becomes” (Ep. 19, p. 13).

An axiom as defined in philosophy is a statement that is self-evidently true and serves as a starting point for reasoning. Therefore, any argument against its truth would call into greater question the philosophical foundation of the Citadel itself. If Stone’s claim that this was not a true axiom had not been dismissed swiftly and discredited, it is possible (though highly unlikely, given the power of empire) that this would have led to a redefinition of the philosophy of wizardry in Umora.

This is what struck me like a bolt of lightning while listening to this episode. I did almost this exact thing when I was in grad school!

Stone is… me? Faulty logic and its effects

As part of my master’s degree, I took a philosophy seminar on bioethics, which covered some polarizing subjects and more fringe points of view. Most of these topics cannot be directly studied or supported by scientific evidence, so the conversation and academic debate is largely conceptual or theoretical (i.e., conducting research to investigate these ideas have varying states of legality and moral acceptability) (see footnote 1). This course was excellent and a bit out of my comfort zone, but it challenged me to think critically about fundamental logic and accepted ideas that often go unexamined until they are taken to the extreme. At one point in the semester, we were discussing a particular topic and the current state of debate surrounding it. Immediately, I was perplexed by some of arguments made to justify it, and at first, I didn’t have the language to express why. Much like Stone, I found myself screaming (internally) “you’re all idiots!” or “you’re missing the point/the bigger picture!” or “that’s not how that works!” Essentially, I had arrived at the conclusion that if this idea were to be implemented broadly in society, it would likely have major negative ramifications, and furthermore, not even achieve the desired and purported effect that they were arguing for! 

Eventually, I figured out what the underlying problem was: a logical fallacy inherent and unidentified within the current debate. Since scholars had just accepted the argument at face value and moved on, most of the debate was concerned with its future implementation or theoretical follow-on effects on individuals and society at large. I did find some existing papers that danced around the idea of fallacious reasoning (i.e., that the theoretical benefits were greatly exaggerated, if not a zero-sum game, or that the negative long-term effects may outweigh the short-term benefits), but none named it specifically or even examined the logical argument the entire debate was predicated on. So, for my term paper, I researched and wrote about this fallacy, and in it, I discussed how the discovery and acknowledgment of it would reframe the debate and perhaps even bring about reform to existing systems!

In the process of writing and researching, I felt incredibly isolated intellectually (this was also peak-COVID so that didn’t help either). Now that I had put the pieces together, it seemed quite obvious to me, but it was difficult to find supporting evidence or other similar arguments to mine (even if they weren’t breaking the logic down so specifically). Was this thing I had reasoned actually true? Why had no one pointed this out before? What if I’m wrong? What if they’re right and I’m a fool for daring to challenge them? What does my professor think? They’re an expert and approved the topic, so I know I’m not entirely off-base, but do they agree with me? I knew that if I wrote a strong, supported, and persuasive argument, that I couldn’t fail, but I deeply cared whether or not I was actually right. It was also probably one of the first times that I wrote with passion (and specific planning ahead of time!), rather than churning out yet another good-enough research paper (that I may or may not have written days ahead of the deadline or the night before).

Thankfully, unlike Stone, my fears that I would not be taken seriously, or worse, told that I was flat out wrong (and be silenced) did not come to pass—my professor agreed wholeheartedly with my argument that this fallacy is pervasive in the current literature. (Though I feel must disclaim that I still could be wrong in some other aspect of my argument, and that simply arguing the existence of a fallacy can be treacherous! In philosophy, no one ever has the only or complete answer—if they claim to, they are either lying or ignorant.) As part of the course, we did a mock peer review in class and my professor sent us further feedback on our papers after we submitted our initial draft of the term paper.

One particular piece of feedback stands out to me upon reflection and comparison to Stone’s experience and the philosophy of wizardry. It said something along the lines of ‘We think that is a very admirable and unique take on this subject. No one found any fault in your logic; however, it is important to consider the practical implications of identifying this fallacy.’ Point taken, of course, that the mere identification of a flaw in logic is not the end of the conversation—it is merely the start of a new discussion and opportunity to surface new arguments.  

In my case, the identification of the fallacy was the concrete thing I felt I could verifiably yell about (academically) to explain why I disagreed so vehemently with current literature (and some truly wild propositions made by certain scholars). Of course, one should not commit the ‘fallacy fallacy,’ which is that simply pointing out a fallacy invalidates the argument. Instead, it was a means to discuss practical implications: some less harmful methods, some overlooked existing solutions, and to pull knowledge from other related disciplines that had not yet been considered because this fallacy had yet to be identified (see footnote 2).

The philosophy of Stone’s accusation of ‘treason’ and treatise to the Archmagi

In listening to and reflecting upon this episode and the conclusion of the second arc, I wonder if Stone felt similarly to me: that she had a fundamental disagreement with the way that wizards (and the Empire) conduct magic. I wonder if she learned about the Axioms and something didn't sit right with her, so she dug into the philosophy or history of it. Moreover, I find it particularly striking that her original specialization was divination. Although it has not been stated outright, I think it can be plausibly inferred that Stone divined some kind of knowledge about the fundamental ‘wrongness’ of current wizardry and the disastrous follow-on effects it would have. She may have been unable to fully convey her revelation in the moment, and so just shouted ‘treason against magic’ at her mentor. As was the case with me, the Axiom of Proliferation was just the most concrete thing that Stone could point at to explain herself.

But beyond my own biases and affinity for Stone, it follows that she may well have examined or done a proof on the Axiom of Proliferation which led to her discovery that the premise of the Axiom was false. Let’s examine the argument that Stone may have made (and the one that Suvi may have done a poor proof of, by her own admission). The argument is as follows:

All Axioms of magic describe a truth about the fundamental nature of magic

The Axiom of Proliferation states that the more times a spell is written down (proliferated), the weaker the spell becomes, which is a truth about the fundamental nature of magic.

Therefore, the Axiom of Proliferation is an Axiom of magic.

This can be simplified:

All A’s have property B

C has property B

Therefore, C is A

This does not necessarily lead to a false conclusion, and while the argument may be valid, it may not always be logically sound, see for example:

All people are mortals.

John is a mortal

Therefore, John is a person.

In the Citadel’s view, there is no flaw here, because they teach (and presume) that the Axiom of Proliferation is true in the lingua arcana. Wizards, of course, are known by their secrets, so it follows that in their philosophy of magic, they would have some kind of justification for keeping magic limited to the select few. But, if one of the premises is false (in this case, premise 2), then this justification is in jeopardy. It stands to reason that Stone must have had serious evidence to declare that premise false, and as she was studying divination, it was likely a vision or prophecy of some kind. Presuming she is correct, then it also speaks to her incredible intelligence (although she did not have the social grace at 19 years old to deftly navigate this accusation) (see footnote 3a).

Although (as far as we know), Stone did not make another public ruckus about the Axiom upon returning to the Citadel, I don’t think this caused her to abandon the belief that the axiom was erroneous. Upon her readmission, she joined the College of Abjuration, specifically studying “counterspelling, dispelling magic, [and] sort of metamagic, … the magic of magic itself” (Ep. 19, p. 11). This might seem to be an odd choice for a backup specialization, but Stone’s issue with the Axiom and metamagic are deeply intwined philosophical concepts, as metamagic is essentially the equivalent to metaphysics in our world.

Wizardry and the nature of magic in Umora

Wizards are defined in Umora to be people that can use a “language of magic” the “lingua arcana” to cast magic, and importantly, that “they believe [the lingua arcana] is the language the universe uses to understand itself,” which was only coined about 250 years prior to the present story (Ep. 19, p. 16). At the end of the first arc, Suvi discovers from her father’s notes that the reflexive indicative, which was taught to her as a necessary component of the lingua arcana, is in fact entirely unnecessary for spellcasting. And further, Stone also doesn’t use the reflexive indicative, which is demonstrated through her unique casting of Mending in the very first episode. It is unclear so far in the worldbuilding (to me, at least) if the lingua arcana is the language the universe uses to understand itself, or if it is a construct used by people to explain, communicate, and more importantly cast magic in Umora (much like math and science are ‘constructs’ that describe the nature of our world, though the fact that it is constructed does not mean it is not true). If it is the latter, then there is likely to be forces at work, be it the components of spell casting (such as the reflexive indicative), the casters themselves, or others yet to be revealed, that are manipulating and restricting the nature of magic in Umora (see footnote 3b).

Thus, I would posit that there is some issue in the way that the restriction of the lingua arcana is affecting the “greater binding,” which is “the theory of magic, that magic is the interplay between the Spirit and the Real—or the Spirit and the Mortal” (Ep. 19, p. 14). Essentially, the lingua arcana describes the nature of the relationship between the Spirit and the Mortal world, while the greater binding is the metaphysical link between them. Stone all but confirms this in her letter to the Archmagi, that if the issue is left unresolved, it would endanger the future of wizardry (Ep. 19, p. 12).

Other pertinent wizarding history and context

Stone and Soft were also part of a group called the Acadator, which was dedicated to rooting out corruption and bad actors within the Citadel. We don’t really know too much else about them, the exact specifics of their philosophy, or if they still exist as a group (given that Steel and Eiorghorain were members). There is also some history surrounding two early wizarding groups pre-Citadel, the Antivoli and the Accordati, that had a philosophical disagreement about accepting the help of the Saraz Imperium for building the Citadel (specifically related to the sharing of magic), which led to a civil war called the Cataclysm of Carrow (Ep. 19, p. 16). In terms of timeline, the lingua arcana was coined in 1423, the term ‘wizard’ was coined in 1456, the Cataclysm of Carrow was in 1467, and three years later, in 1470, the Erien (Citadel) was built. The current story with the three protagonists is taking place in 1670, so it has only been 200 years since the Citadel was created, and the lingua arcana coined only 47 years prior to that (in less than a human lifespan).

Further, the creation of the Irulian Desert, the Erien, and the Citadel is a destructive history—wizards razed a verdant forest and turned it into a hot, unlivable desert with a miles high glass tower at the center. Additionally, the Wizards of the Citadel pool their magic beneath the Erien in an ‘Aerith,’ into which they deposit magical reserves and draw upon its combined strength when in crisis (see footnote 4). Mechanically, we see Suvi ‘donate’ unused spell slots at the end of the day.

We do know that Grandmother Wren’s cottage is located on top of a source of great magical power and serves as her sanctum. Wizards also use the towers of the Citadel as their sanctums, and I believe the following is speculation, as I do not think it has been canonized yet, but it is possible that the Aerith serves a similar purpose as a source of great magical power that previously belonged to the Spirits that wizards alone now use and control. This control is the key difference that may be contributing to, or even causing, detrimental effects on the greater binding.

The Witch(es)’s and the Wild One(s)’s perspectives

Additional evidence to support this theory of the Aerith's origins and purpose comes in Episode 23, when Eursulon meets the Man in Black and discusses their opinions on mortals, particularly wizards and their desire for control. Specifically, the Man in Black states, “that tower is the handle of a knife plunged deep into the heart of this world, a heart that is responsible for… a murder to the world of Spirits” (Ep. 23, 0:09:45-0:10:07).

Later, in a flashback with Mirara and Grandmother Wren, Mirara argues that “the world has burned before” (perhaps in reference to the creation of the Irulian Desert), that “[wizards] cannot be allowed to do this thing” (still unclear what that thing is), and the coven must make some kind of decision before it is too late (Ep. 23, 0:58:46-0:59:00). Wren pleas for another option, points this out as a false dichotomy, that they must not “be forced to choose between one slaughter and another,” and they should work to find common ground and coexist (Ep. 23, 0:59:07-0:59:33). Mirara retorts that she could never imagine the day that she would see “the will of wizards debase themselves” (i.e., that wizards would ever lower themselves from their current position of power) (Ep. 23, 0:59:39-0:59:52).

Wren then asserts a key point that correlates directly with Stone’s perspective: “There is nothing I have seen in the world of Mortals or of Spirits that shows me that there is a path that is wrong to tread” or anything that proves the pursuit of wizardry as inherently wrong (i.e., the lingua arcana), only those who “tread paths hurtfully, with cruel intention” (i.e., those abusing the lingua arcana for political purposes and imperial gain) (Ep. 23, 1:00:08-1:00:28). Wren also questions Mirara’s stance of wizardry as “an abomination against the natural order of the world” (Ep. 23, 1:00:40-1:00:47). Mirara then challenges her to consider her point of view and insists that even Wren cannot deny that “the poison of wizards does not spread so quickly as to choke the life from this world” (Ep. 23, 1:01:03-1:01:09).

My pure speculation and fan theory:

From this conversation, I postulate that Mirara and the Coven has taken an extremist and doomed perspective on the harm that is resulting partially from the Axiom of Proliferation (and perhaps the Aerith as well), while Grandmother Wren took a reformist stance. This would put her and her position as the Witch of the World’s Heart at odds with whatever plan the Coven intends to enact. Given what we know of the Witch Class and the other domains of the Coven, their plan is quite possibly violent, retributive, and holds little to no concern for the Mortals or people of Umora.

The third arc will begin with Ame’s meeting with the Coven of Elders at the North Pole, where they will attempt to destroy her station as the Witch of the World’s Heart. For all of the reasons above, I believe this event will connect directly to Stone’s declaration of “treason against magic itself,” but I will just have to (patiently) wait and see (see footnote 5).

Footnotes:

(1) I am well aware that I am being quite vague and obtuse regarding this subject and what specifically I was researching. Mainly because a) that’s not really the point of these musings, this is just some background info and context to explain my philosophy which is already longer than I would like, b) it would be impossible to do justice to an overview of this complex subject in an essay about something that resonated with me in a D&D podcast (and which does not engage with that subject directly, at least not in this context), c) I’ve already written a paper on this subject and am not interested in regurgitating it here, and d) Nunya Binyess (i.e. I could still be wrong about this fallacy and I’d rather discuss WWW than start a tangential IRL philosophical or political argument on this forum).

(2) Though on a deeper level, I partially disagree with the idea that I needed to account for the practical implications of the fallacy within the paper. I disagree that when challenging the fundamental nature of something (e.g., an erroneous argument, a misinformed policy, or an unjust system), there must be an immediate remedy or solution offered up. In my philosophical opinion, once a fallacy like that is identified for something that we hold to be fundamentally true, we need to sit in that revelation and undo the thought processes created by the incorrect assumptions. You cannot flip a switch and suddenly reverse all of the justifications that have gone into supporting a flawed, ingrained argument. To undo a pervasive, incorrect fundamental idea that has been implemented, internalized, or proliferated, first it must be fully examined for all its flaws, rescinded, and only then do we start from square one and think about practical changes (in a perfect world, of course, I am fully aware that the world does not work this way). I do often wonder about this reactive nature in society to demand immediate alternatives and solutions when norms are challenged, though I recognize this is a result of different lived experiences and worldviews. After all, this reactionary nature is true in Umora as well, and the wizards of the Citadel “tend to be a lot more about praxis and practice” (Ep. 19, p. 14).

(3a) Perhaps Stone rolled a nat 20 on some kind of intelligence check for the vision, but rolled a nat 1 on her Persuasion check against Sleep!

(3b) There is another essay I could write here about the history of science and empire (another grad school course) and the reflection of this in the Imperium, its taxonomy, and the (anti)-democratization of knowledge, but perhaps another time.

(4)  Something that occurred to me when piecing together the Erien and the Aerith was the similarity to Morrow’s derrick that harnessed Naram’s power in the first arc. Both serve similar purposes as well, of generating magic and magical items. It makes me wonder if it was intended for the derrick to be Morrow’s poor attempt at recreating the glory of the Citadel, or if this is just a happy coincidence/connection between the arcs.

(5) I do want to briefly acknowledge the nature of improvisational storytelling in this situation, and that anything can change, be clarified, canonized, etc. at any point. This is partly why I don’t like to speculate much myself, because I trust the creators to tell the story the way they want to and follow the paths that appear, without projecting my own hopes or prescriptions when I listen to their wonderful creation that has been crafted with such care. It is also why my theory in the end is limited to the meeting with the coven- truly anything could happen at the beginning of the next arc, and whatever I might come up with is likely less interesting than what will happen. (NB: There is nothing wrong with fan theories or head canons! It’s just not usually something that interests me!) I merely saw a connection and through-line that deeply resonated with me in this second arc and felt compelled to write about it. Also, Worlds Beyond Number and WWW is just so fucking great, and it truly astounds me that this story is so deep that I have somehow written a 12-page essay analyzing essentially a 20-minute segment of one episode. I pray to Enzo that there are no grievous errors or spelling mistakes, but I wanted to post this on WBN’s first birthday! 🧡

[soilem]

why the most productive time of the day is always whenever you put on background noise?

[fatuismooches]

whats up pookie bear

I KNOW KNOWWWW I JUST SENT IN LIKE. SO MUCH FUCKING ASKS and im guilty im sorry feel free to ignore for a while them if you're getting annoyed 👍. but anways it's time for me to be annoying for the last time because i will hide away in shame 😭😭😭😭

i dont think people talk enough how dottore being in love, or his thoughs when he's in love or whatever.

LIKE YEAH, they've talked about it. but i wanna really just. IDK... more like, how i view it LMAOOO 💀💀

i just like to think that, there's just instances where he's so fucking in love with you, and that oh, he really needs you in his life and if you leave him it'd be like a shot through the heart. like he'd never be whole again, you know?

HEAR ME OUT,,😭😭

deep in his heart, he hopes you're not afraid of him, you know? that you're not like the rest of them—whispering behind his back, giving him fearful looks when he hasn't done anything. he's do grateful that you see him as a friend, not some fucking freak like everyone makes him to be. but monsters get treated like one, so when his village started grabbing pitchforks n torches, telling him to leave and go away,,, his eyes immediately looked for you amongst the crowd,,,, to see if you were one of them,, afraid of something they didn't understand,, something they didn't care to understand,,, n it was probably the first time he has ever truly felt fear, his heart pounding as he tries to dodge the fire being thrown at him, heat licking his skin,,, but then he sees you, looking around frantically with a bag on your shoulder,, and when you see him, you grabbed his hand and ran away together,, running and running as far as you could,,,

n honestly, all zandik could think about is how your hand fits so perfectly in his... intertwined,, feeling the texture of your hand as you ran together into the unknown...

thinking about how domestic you two were back at the akademiya n how living alone with you was so much better. he felt soo light on his feet when you're around, like youre constantly bringing him up to the clouds... he's so used to people giving him dirty looks, but you?? oh gods you just look at him so kindly, like he hasn't done things that the akademiya deems immoral and forbidden. as if he hasn't shown you his ideas that would be vile and inhumane to others,, u smile, n you laugh, and suddenly he finds himself thinking about how much you brighten your shared dorm room when you smile,, and how much he has grown to adore it,, he wanna hold your face to feel how your muscles flex and contracts whenever you smile and talk to him. he wants to count your teeth and feel them on his fingertips,, and it may be odd to others, but oh this.. this just means he's super into you. like he wants to study the entirety of your being,,. n its all because he's so curious and interested,, he wanna know more about you,,,he'd have xrays of you, memorizing your bone structure and how they all look individually n thinks its romantic when he digs his fingers onto your skin n tell you what bone he's feeling.

he compares it to when you cook for him 😭💗 like how you know all his favorites, and how he wants his food to be cooked, what temperature, texture and flavor,, like baby no, its not. but hey, its zandik and he's really trying hard to be romantic in his own way.

he thinks you're so pretty when you speak up for yourself, unlike him, who'd rather stay silent because he needed to keep a low profile after his offenses to the akademiya. you're not scared of getting your hands dirty, especially for zandik. you didn't fight a senior without a good reason (they were calling zandik a freak). and he loves how the dark crimson of the senior's blood smeared all over your reddening, and bruising knuckles looked. n as much as he loves seeing you smile, he loves the way your brows furrow in anger, eyes sharp as you punch your senior in his face,, and he feels goosebumps forming on his forearms when you grab on his collar and yell profanities at hi,,, n then when you look at zandik to check if he's okay, he's zoned out, but he's staring at you with flushed cheeks and heart in his eyes,, n he thinks ur sooo cute when you get flustered because of it, laughing sheepishly and rubbing the back of your neck. u get suspended for a few days n zandik was absent until you were able to go back to classes.

or when you go for expeditions w/o him cuz youre in diff darshans,, it feels so empty w/o you, and he can't imagine a life w/o you at that point. he gets so unmotivated and he's suddenly he's counting the ways, hours, minutes, and seconds until you're back>.. n when you extend for a week longer??? oh he's wallowing in pain and misery cuz ur not there to yell at him for not having a proper sleep schedule, or to remind him to eat at least twice or once a day, or to tell him that he's your pretty bf and that you love him, or there to hold him, or listen to him rant about his research...,, w/o you his life feels like a constant itch he can't scratch for some reason and he HATTTESS how being in love with you makes him feel so stupid like. w/o you, no distractions,!! he can do his research without you nagging but,, he misses it sooo soo much!!,, (he never tells you he misses you, but it's so obvious by the way he clings onto you so tightly when you finally cuddle after weeks of separation or how he refuses for you to leave his side for more than a minute, or if you have another expedition to do ,,, he'd literally fight the people telling you to join or his professors lMAOOO

it feels nice to just, look onwards and know that you'll be right behind him,, because you'd always have his back,, and after years and years of being with him and teaching him how to love,, he's proud to say that he'd do the same with you!

literally has piles and piles of research papers thats either all about you (your vitals, his notes of his observations (which is literally just talking about you like a love sick girl would in her diary about her crush), and probably other notes to keep an eye on your health), or himself (why he feels this way, what is the effects, etc etc). and he can never get a clear answer really,, all he does is observe, and think,, because fuck, no matter how hard he tries, loving you has to be one of the things he will never figure out,, you he doesn't have to, you know? you always tell him that, but he's a scholar, he has to! so the files pile up higher and higher... he's so endearing like that idk about you 😭😭😭

so happy you're with him in the fatui. i dont think he could handle his descent to madness w/o you in his life 😭💗

okay so i just ended up rambling 😡nvm LMAOO 😭😭💔 anyways uhh my head started hurtnng so thats alll HAVE A GOOD DAY SMOOCHES,, finally fluff for you

Kai thought he could drop this absolute masterpiece and we wouldn't notice 💀 LITERALLY SHUSHH OH YM GOSH THIS IS SOOOO GOOD I WAS SMILING SO HARD LIKE AN IDIOT HRAHHHH DDBJWDND COME BACK RN YOU'RE NOT ANNOYING. Because omfg,,, you're literally being so real right now, we need to talk about how much Dottore is in love with you, sure he can frequently be a rude ass sometimes but don't let that fool you into thinking he's not down bad for you... i just know that he's literally completely and utterly obsessed with every part of you. IBDWUIDWUD FUCK YOU WORDED WHAT I THINK SO PERFECTLY. There's a reason why he's so possessive over you. Why even when you two get into arguments, even if they take long af to resolve because he's also hella stubborn, they're going to get fixed eventually. Among other things. It's because he really does need you there by his side and if he didn't have you he doesn't know what the hell he would do. (Or his segments. No work would be done.) HEARING YOU OUT LOUD AND CLEAR POOKIE.

Oh gosh yes, it hurts my heart to think child Zandik would have to think such depressing thoughts but mhm. He definitely does. He's only a child. He can't help but worry. Sure you're his friend, sure he repeats all the times you were nice and kind to him in his head, but sometimes it does little to reassure him of your intentions. Maybe you're just as scared of him like everyone else and this is just some elaborate game you're playing with him. Though Zandik knows it's not true, he knows you're sincere, but every now and then the idea pops up in the back of his mind and it takes ages to get it out again. But on that day when everything changed, when nothing would be the same ever again all those thoughts immediately bubbled back up to the surface and Zandik wondered if this would be the end of the two of you. If this would be the time when you finally showed your true colors. And despite the world being against him he found that you were still with him, without an ounce of hesitation present in you. Despite everything, he felt relief.

Oh my gosh i love writing and reading the crazy unethical completely undomestic doctor man as being domestic with you. As time goes on and further away from that event, he would feel significantly more relaxed. You two would fall into a sort of routine, attending classes and doing group projects, whining about professors and ending the day off with you falling asleep to Zandik's tinkering in the background, and of course the research expeditions you two do together. I also believe the word "home" doesn't have any meaning to him nor does he care for it for obvious reasons, he doesn't consider anywhere his "home" nor does he have an emotional connection to it, but... with you, he feels the most comfortable, which is something. But that's what home is anyway, isn't it? And though he'll never say or perhaps even realize it, you'll always be the first to accept that Zandik is your home, the two outcasts who were thrown out together who have nothing but each other.

REALLLL i love how we all just agree that a part of his love language is just like, inspecting and examining you. Zandik wants to know every inch of your body better than you know it yourself. Yea it's a bit strange when he brings up a beauty mark on your body that you didn't even know you had yourself or when he shows you pictures of your bones to show how healthy and strong you are or analyzes a strand of hair he probably plucked from you while you were sleeping but how else is he supposed to show his love!! He doesn't understand why you look so 😧 in the beginning! He adores you so much that he's going out of his way to give you the utmost most in-depth examination and memorize all of it easily! He doesn't even know this much about his own body. HELP Dottore making horrible analogies is so him... but it's okay because soon enough when you see how serious he's being about it you start to find it pretty cute and endearing... we love a bf who tries his best.

I can't im literally exploding from all of these points... they're canon fr he would so love when you don't take shit from anyone, I mean why would you anyway? You're so obviously better than them so you shouldn't take poor treatment from anyone (he wouldn't allow it either, even though he does keep a low profile he will find a way to get back at anyone who dares to hurt or talk badly about you.) And omg yes,, there is no doubt in my mind he would find it so hot when you injure others. He loves the way the look in your eye changes to as if you're looking at nothing else besides a piece of trash. Your figure looks so hypnotizing when you're standing over your victim,,, when you casually leave and apologize for wasting time like it's a normal regular day,, that sweet smile back on your face,, and I guess you actually helped him out a bit because people talk less about him now solely because of the chance they might get beat by you.

UGH YES Zandik would definitely think he'd be fine without you, he doesn't need you that much, he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself! In fact, he could probably get some more work done without you bothering him every five seconds. Well, he's dead wrong. Everything just seems to annoy Zandik without you. You cooked some food to keep him fed for a few days but once it's done it really sets in that now he has to make his own food which tastes like shit compared to yours. He's put into a group project but you're not his partner because you're out on the expedition. He's already accidentally broken a few mechanical parts because the room is far too quiet without your voice. He's getting less sleep because you're not there to force him under the cover. He's less productive and he has no one to rant or go off on tangents to so now he's bottling too much things inside. Everything is just so bad and suddenly he's calculating the various amounts of time until you come back which is making Zandik tear his hair out. How dare you do this to him. This is disgusting behavior. In no way should he be so needy for you! He's honestly pissed at both himself and you. He wonders if you feel the same way he does right now or if he's really just a complete idiot. Oh but of course, he refuses to let go for once when you get back, he is not doing that shit ever again nor are you.

And as much as he hates it, the scientist part of him just finds it interesting how much smoothly things run when you're around again. You and your influences need to be studied further. And oh does he study. The filled-to-the-brim notebooks and papers say it all. You think he's reciting the universe's history with how much he writes. You tell him that he doesn't need to understand, some things in life are things you just know, but no. Zandik simply can't accept such an ideology. He must know exactly every single detail. If he can find the answer to godhood he can find the answer for love. You don't think that day will ever come, but you have fun watching your lover pore so many hours into this task.

Overall, he is really your sweet bf (and soon husband tbh) ily for this Kai. <333