#for no other reason that like

[incognito-lionbeast]

Aftercare (And Maybe More?)

The truth beyond all other truths is that I write things so that I can be Really Very Silly. Anyway, follow-up to that smut I posted earlier. (This one is just suggestive & not explicit)

Series: Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System Pairing: Mobei-Jun/Shang Qinghua Ao3 Summary: After having given Shang Qinghua the dicking-down of his life, Mobei-Jun tries with some difficulty to be a loving and considerate partner. It works! Mostly. --------------------------------------------------------------------

Cleanup was such a confusing, awkward affair. In stages, Shang Qinghua first experienced the very special sort of grief that can only accompany the sight of a partner’s freshly re-dressed silhouette leaving them behind. Mobei-Jun had spoken a single word at the time: “Towel.” Cryptic as that was, Shang Qinghua wasn’t sure what to do with it, so he sat—any followup questions drowned out by the door sliding shut. Thus, the second stage came as a wave of surprise and embarrassment, huddled miserably and rather foolishly at the corner of his bed like an abandoned, sticky puppy.

As promised, Mobei-Jun had returned, toting both towels and a surprise newcomer: a clean sheet! Suddenly, the one-word reply made sense, but that only made Shang Qinghua feel all the more foolish, shrinking into his shoulders when Mobei-Jun approached. Positively cherry-red, Shang Qinghua stared anywhere and everywhere but his king’s face, yet found that his tepid attempt to grab a towel was thwarted by Mobei-Jun’s still very cold hands. The demon leveled his face closer, brows crimped together with one of Shang Qinghua’s wrists firmly held as if suddenly afraid he might bolt.

“...have I offended you?” Mobei-Jun asked, having entered the room earlier in a rather good mood. Yet, it seemed perhaps his imagination had been wrong after all? How vexing.

“Er–uh, no! No, my king,” Shang Qinghua stammered, gently pat-patting the vice-grip upon his wrist with a free hand. Never had he been so aware that he was still naked. “No, I mean it. I promise. I just—”

Wasn’t expecting you to come back? No, he definitely couldn’t say that.

—can do this myself? Well, true, but that still felt like the wrong answer here. Was Mobei-Jun really intent to help him clean up? Shang Qinghua felt a second wave of flustering bashfulness take hold, praying to any god that might listen to not allow him the vitality to get hard again. Please. Absently, he caressed the back of Mobei-Jun’s hand, still slightly at loss on a response, but a quick glance told him that his king was, once again, becoming impatient. Spoiled, always. So, Shang Qinghua–so used to groveling by now–erred on the side of pathetic, summoning up the strength to stare with upturned brows at Mobei-Jun’s collar (and not a centimeter higher! God help him!).

“I guess it’s a human thing,” he explained. “To be a little embarrassed after, uh…   It’s nothing. It’s fine. Thank you. Er, not for that—for the towel!—but I guess thanks for that, too.”

He needed to stop talking. Desperately.

Yet, Mobei-Jun’s grip loosened and his expression relaxed back to its normal icy demeanor. ‘Good,’ it seemed to say. Although he hardly understood, embarrassed was better than the alternative, ignoring Shang Qinghua’s second attempt to grab a towel from him. He could try all he liked–and make all sorts of interesting sounds–but his king was determined, pressing the chill, damp towel against his lover’s body with all the tenderness a ruthless demon lord could muster. Not an easy task, but one Mobei-Jun attempted diligently, pausing only when Shang Qinghua gasped especially sharply. In pain? He wondered, but Shang Qinghua neither flinched nor attempted to stop him. So, he simply cataloged the noise for future investigation.

With most of the sticky unpleasantness wiped from Shang Qinghua’s body, Mobei-Jun discarded the towel. Really quite satisfied with his handiwork—he was earning a good grade in human husbandry, for sure!—he had only just begun reaching to collect the scattered remnants of Shang Qinghua’s robes when the man in question finally objected.

“My king, I can dress myself. There’s no need for you to–” Did Cucumber-bro suffer like this, too?! His demon partner was really only half, but that bizarre Anti of his had made Luo Binghe so much worse. He couldn’t fathom handling that nannying crybaby if Shen Qingqiu was just as attracted to Luo Binghe as he was to…

Mobei-Jun frowned, but acquiesced with a counter-demand. “Then get up.”

Ah.

Right, was that better? A little more normal, anyway. Shang Qinghua scrambled off of the bed, snatching several pieces of clothing and hoarding them to his chest like his life depended on it. Far be it from him to complain about being treated well, but this was Mobei-Jun not Luo Binghe. It was a bit jarring even if it was nice, and though maybe the idea of going for a second round was appealing in its own right– One thing at a time. Later. Maybe. He’d really like to.

Once fully dressed, Shang Qinghua’s confidence returned to him. After those precious few minutes spent finagling with his robes, he couldn’t help notice that his bedsheet had been torn asunder and swapped for a new one. Ah. Well, he couldn’t give Mobei-Jun full marks for tidiness or presentation, but he was startlingly efficient. And he still hadn’t left, either, seated upon the bed regally. Waiting for something. Him, maybe? Mobei-Jun’s stare was piercing, nearly making the reclamation of his robes feel irrelevant. Still, a tad more daring now, Shang Qinghua settled at his side, considering heavily the risks of taking Mobei-Jun’s lap instead.

He thought better of it. For now.

“Do not thank me.” Mobei-Jun added decisively.

“Hm? Oh– okay?” Shang Qinghua tilted his head. Was this about the sex or the bedsheets? Probably not a ‘both’ this time, he surmised, inching just slightly closer. Maybe if he looked confused enough, then Mobei-Jun would clarify for himself.

“It wasn’t a favour. Do not thank me,” he repeated, now with slightly more context! Then, Mobei-Jun held a hand out expectantly, seeming to struggle with the action the longer it remained unanswered. In the moment’s hesitation it took for Shang Qinghua to understand, Mobei-Jun had already fought several battles with himself (and seemingly the rest of the world, too). His hand twitched, bound to the spot by sheer willpower. Frankly, it was a little funny, but eventually Shang Qinghua caught on—well, he hoped he had?—settling his own hand into Mobei-Jun’s open palm. Holding it.

Even if that was somehow the wrong answer, the hand stopped twitching, so Shang Qinghua decided he was probably right. It was then that Mobei-Jun hit him with a verbal truck.

“...Daddy.”

Shang Qinghua couldn’t decide whether he wanted to laugh, cry, or die in a hole somewhere. Simultaneously, that one word was everything he wanted and didn’t want at all! He was gobsmacked. Well, part of him was proud, too. Vindicated, even. Yet, that part was quickly overshadowed by horror, still somehow unable to meet Mobei-Jun’s searching gaze with anything other than a scandalised blank stare. Now was not the time to start listening to the stupid shit he’d said angrily, okay? Not right after they’d–  

Daddy kink was not an option here!! Too real! Way too real!

“My king…” How to word this? Shang Qinghua laughed awkwardly. “I was– no need to call me that, really! Really, really. I was spouting so much stupid shit back then, I– I was just angry! It felt like you didn’t respect me at all, so I wasn’t thinking straight. How could I ask you to call me something like that? ”

Yet, that was not the response Mobei-Jun wanted. Rather, to Shang Qinghua’s continued shock and awe, he looked a little… disappointed? It was hard to tell through the frost, but there was a glimmer of something sad etched just underneath that first layer, prompting Shang Qinghua to lean in just a little closer. Shit, don’t tell him it’s too late? Or, rather, don’t tell him that Mobei-Jun, one of the most fearsome demons in all three realms, suddenly wanted to call him Daddy? Unthinkable. Shouldn’t that be humiliating for a demon like him??

“Shizun?” Mobei-Jun tried a second time.

Now that one wasn’t right to either of them, but he was not a demon with much in the way of creative naming capabilities. Not much unlike the man sitting beside him, really. Yet, he was determined to get something special out of this. After all, he’d officially claimed Shang Qinghua as his; that was his right and privilege.

Shang Qinghua balked, “Absolutely not. Where did you– never mind, I know where. My king, please. If you want a pet name so badly, call me—!”

Call him what, exactly? He blinked, realising for the first time that he’d never actually given the character “Shang Qinghua” a birth name… or Mobei-Jun, for that matter. It’d never felt important, so he’d taken the easy way out and simply never bothered with it. After all, “Shang Qinghua” was just supposed to be some cannon-fodder nobody. Although admittedly, searching through his memories, it was uncanny how the world around him had gotten away without even acknowledging that fact! It was always “gege” or “gongzi” or things like “Shang-Shidi” or even occasionally “An Ding Peak Lord” — or, hell, Cucumber-bro just called him Airplane.

And that name was definitely out—not like Mobei-Jun knew what an “airplane” was, anyway—and he had to think of Mobei-Jun’s image! Someone had to. So, “Great Master” felt like a little too much, though incredibly tempting. So, under Mobei-Jun’s intense evaluation, Shang Qinghua settled on a rather personal title. One he hadn’t heard in a while.

“Yuan, call me Yuan. It’s, uh, my real name. My birth name, I mean. No one else uses it,” Shang Yuan quickly reassured. “I don’t think anyone else actually knows it, to be honest…”

After a moment’s consideration—Shang Yuan yelped, dragged mercilessly into Mobei-Jun’s lap. Then, with such imminent satisfaction that Shang Yuan suddenly felt a bit proud and a bit embarrassed (again), Mobei-Jun agreed:

“Yuan.”

[baristabomb]

...weird amount of dunmeshi fans have been saying being a caretaker in a relationship is the worst thing ever..marcille must want to killl everyone soo bad because doing things for people suuuucks sooo muchh

it's an act of love, not just a job i promise. we all want someone who's willing to take care of us in some way, just like how senshi shows care for others by cooking for them :'|

[hinamie]

10 years later

[calicorobin]

beanbag chair psychology

[thegleampt2fromtheglowpt22001]

ppl on Twitter have for no reason I can tell rediscovered Mighty Jill Off, thee cute indie platformer abt lesbian BDSM from 2008. I have no idea why it's gaining traction again but I just thot u all on here wld like 2 b part ov that 2

[grantwilson]

we are discussing our childhood passions on the dash tonight

[krysmcscience]

I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.

Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:

Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao

this is so stupid :D

Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[maxgicalgirl]

Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[fairycosmos]

it's crazy arguing with your parents as a fully grown adult because it's like i can't talk about childhood without sounding like a bitter insane asshole but those experiences literally shaped the person i am and i don't understand why they just get to dismiss it all and make me look cruel for being maladjusted when they played a massive part in making me this way

[joshuamj]

Hero.

[cozylittleartblog]

what if there was a plague doctor that was so so so cute (and was also secretly a bird themself)

[hinamie]

quick itfs sketch page

[moonsidesong]

don't panic buy games because of the eshop shutdown!!!! the memes are not lying It is genuinely very easy to hack your 3ds!!! please do it!!!!

3ds.hacks.guide

(don't follow video guides they are very often outdated and it's easier to make mistakes that way. this guide is very detailed with step by step instructions and they even have a support server in the event you have any trouble! i understand it might seem intimidating but risks of bricking or banning are very minimal at this point you will be glad you did it)

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

just to be completely clear, the amount of military power and political influence Israel has has NOTHING to do with its settlers being Jewish. Israel is a force for American & European interests in the region and they're just doing what America does and allows/encourages its close allies to do.

war crimes aren't considered war crimes when someone America finds useful is doing them. european and american pushback against anyone criticizing Israeli apartheid & genocide is 100% because these crimes are useful to American & European hegemony.

Governments that are deeply antisemitic, like France, aren't suddenly caring about Jewish people. Jewish people, persecuted the world over, don't hold some kind of hegemonic power outside of Israel.

The state of Israel and its attendant brutal treatment of the locals are both incredibly useful to the US, and American hegemony means we're expected to celebrate both.

not bc they're Jewish. this isn't a break in the pattern of western antisemitism and it's not evidence that antisemitism doesn't exist.

it's just like how you could get fired for saying shit against the US war in Afghanistan when i was growing up. it is 100% about US military and political interests (ok slightly western europe too but lbr)