#for some reason I asked to play the harp when I was three. my parents were working class and non musicians. my dad is Mexican. we used to

[hazzabeeforlou]

.

[nomazee]

Homegrown

ushijima wakatoshi x reader

word count: 1700+

content: friends-to-lovers, fluff (particularly birthday fluff because it was his birthday a few days ago and i wanna celebrate that somehow!!!), gardener ushijima, pining 

(this is basically a late b-day gift for best boy ushijima!! this is something i just wrote really quickly but regardless, i hope you all like it!! 

happy reading <3) 

☾.:°∗★.:☆:.★∗°:.☽

On your birthday, Ushijima gives you a basil plant. 

You blink down at the plastic pot in your hands, fingers feeling the cool slickness of the roots hanging out from the bottom. Ushijima waits expectantly in the doorway of your home, eyes scrutinizing every flinch of your expression to try and judge your reaction. 

“It’s basil.” He repeats the words he stated moments ago, being the only words he’s given you to work with in the six-- no, seven minutes he’s been outside your house. 

“I can see that.” You respond, staring down at the small, shiny leaves peering up at you from where they were cozily nestled between soft, lightly damp soil. “It smells nice.” 

“Yes,” he agrees, “I like the smell of basil.” No more words are exchanged between the two of you, and you’re instead left staring down at the plant with Ushijima’s watchful eyes continuing to analyze you. 

“It’s your birthday gift,” he tells you, with a cock of his head and a slight furrow in his brow. “Did you forget about your birthday?” 

“Uh, no. I… I didn’t!” Yes, you did. You absolutely did. The delivery of a gift in the middle of a Saturday made a bit more sense. The gift itself, however, did not. But you supposed Ushijima was a bit inexperienced in the art of giving friends gifts so you didn’t really mind it too much in the moment. 

Ushijima lets out a huff--almost inaudible, but you caught it just in time to view the sight of him averting his eyes with a tint of red at his ears. “Yes, you did. I thought you would remember. Last week you mentioned that you wanted to spend time together.” 

Oh. You did. You stand, mouth parted slightly in the sudden realization of your past promise. You’re dressed in baggy pajamas--plaid pants that reach past the soles of your feet and an XX-L t-shirt that you’re sure belongs to either your dad or Ushijima. 

“I’ll get dressed,” you blush at your chaotic state of dress and back away from the door to let Ushijima inside, “and then we can head out.” You pause, and then, “I’m really sorry for forgetting, Ushi. I was just tired from this week and it slipped my mind. You can pick wherever we go, to make up for it.” 

Despite your words, the furrow in Ushijima’s brows doesn’t dissipate. “Why are you apologizing? You didn’t upset me. I was just worried that you were going to spend your birthday alone.” 

Oh. You freeze, then smile. Always the considerate friend, even if he wasn’t fully aware of it. You approach where he sits on the couch, run a hand through his hair, and press a kiss to his forehead that sends a blush down his neck that you don’t quite catch. “You’re so cute, Ushi. I’ll be down in five minutes.” 

---

Three days later, Ushijima gives you a basket of tomatoes. 

You think it’s a bit funny. First basil, now tomatoes. His unorthodox gifts bring a smile to your face, and you find him mirroring a similar expression in the cold of the night outside your house. 

“These look great,” you tell him, digging around in the crate and examining each plump tomato individually. The skin was shiny and taut, a healthy bright red reflecting the light in a glossy highlight. “You’re really great with plants, Ushi.” 

He hums in acknowledgement of your compliment, eyes drifting to the concrete of your front door steps. 

You snap out of your distant haze, looking back up to the boy in your doorway. You set the crate down on the coffee table of your living room, calling out to Ushijima as you move frantically around the room. 

“You should get going, Ushijima. You’re drenched in sweat and it’s cold and I don’t want you to get sick. Here,” you extend a hand to him, one of his sweaters in its grasp--Ushi had given it to you the day of your birthday when you were both walking home in the cold. 

He blinks down at the article of clothing and you wait curiously. “Keep it.” Your brows furrow, and he elaborates. “I’ll be fine. I don’t get sick easily. And I want you to keep that in case you ever get cold.” 

Oh, Ushijima. You joke to yourself that you’ll fall for him at this rate, then silence your mind at the realization that that’s the reality you’re living in at this point. 

You wrap a hand around the nape of his neck and pull him down, lips firmly pressing against the middle of his forehead. You notice the flush of pink on his skin this time, and find the color pretty on his flesh.

“Thank you, Ushi. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gives you a smile, one of his subtle ones that are just a slight upturn of the corners of his lips.

---

Over the next few weeks, you accumulate a healthy gathering of fresh fruits and vegetables in your fridge. Your parents are overwhelmed at the fresh produce and start half-jokingly questioning if you have a sugar daddy who only pays in homegrown plants. You say no, obviously, but the fiddling of your fingers make them exchange a knowing look and teasing smile. 

Ushijima brought you a lot of things--parsley, lemons, beets that you’re not sure what to do with. Your most recent favorite was a bunch of zucchini that you ended up spiralizing and serving with sauce (which is, of course, made from the tomatoes he consistently keeps giving you). You were proud enough of that dish to send a picture to him, to which he responded with a simple :). You found it funny how a simple emoticon was enough to make you swoon. 

Sitting at the kitchen counter, you eyed the tupperware container that held Ushijima’s most recent gift--a generous amount of plump, ripe strawberries. They were certainly smaller than the ones you’d normally buy at the grocery store, but he brought such a large amount it made you worry and ask if he was giving you his entire garden’s worth of plants every time he gave you something. 

(“I don’t want your mom getting mad if you’re wasting everything in your garden on me.” You chastised him as you looked into the basket of the day, which contained a few tomatoes, a healthy pile of mint, and a small watermelon that you were sure took months to grow and therefore should not be gifted to you so casually.

Ushijima’s lips were downturned when you looked up at him. He shuffled one of his feet along the ground as he avoided your chastising gaze. 

“It’s not wasting,” he muttered. “I want to give these to you. If you don't want them anymore, then just tell me.” 

You couldn’t help the melting of your expression into one of adoration and softness. You reached a hand up habitually, running your fingers through his hair and averting his gaze back to you. 

“I do, Ushi. I just want to make sure I’m not stealing everything in your garden, you know?”

He smiles. You hear distant harps playing in the background. “I know. But I have plenty leftover. And even if I didn’t, I’m giving them to you. So I’m happy either way.” 

There he goes again, crawling right into your heart so casually. Ah, you loved this boy.)

The strawberries. Right. Ushijima’s birthday was coming up. You had too many boxes of puff pastry in your freezer. Time to get to work. 

---

At Ushijima’s request, you visit his house the day of his birthday. It’s a Sunday, and you make the walk to his house with a cute cardboard box in hand, pink ribbon securing it tightly and strawberry danishes packed inside. 

He opens the door for you, leads you inside, and you both end up on his bed, the box of pastries open and in front of you as you take turns ripping apart each danish to share between the both of you. 

Ushijima hums as he chews, teeth biting into and pulling apart the layers of puff pastry and tongue catching the jam that threatens to spill over the edge of the dough. You watch the movement of his lips and tongue intently, with a vehemence that you should not be watching the movement of his lips and tongue with. He catches your stare but for some reason you can’t be bothered to look away in embarrassment. 

“It’s good,” he comments. “Very good.” 

You hum back, adjusting your position against the headboard of his bed. “I’d hope so. I didn’t work on these all morning for nothing.” 

For some reason, that particularly catches Ushijima’s attention. He furrows his brow at you, an expression you see a lot lately. “You worked on these all morning?” 

You’re confused by the question. “...yeah? I wanted to make sure they were good. So I took my time with it.” 

He exhales deeply through his nose, finishing another bite and swallowing before he elaborates. 

“You didn’t have to do so much, just for my birthday. Just coming over would be enough for me.” 

Once again, your stomach is sent into a flurry of emotions but you ignore that momentarily to scoff at his first sentence. 

“Ushi, you gave me a whole basil plant for my birthday-- and you keep giving me all your herbs and vegetables and stuff. I barely did anything for your birthday compared to your birthday, don’t give me that.” 

A frown is evident in your features and you can’t help but replicate the expression. You don’t understand why he’s so insistent on this concept--you genuinely didn’t do much compared to all the random plants he’s gifted you over the last month. 

“I don’t think you’re… understanding.” You almost huff at that, but are cut off by his next words. “You being here is enough for me. Enough of a gift.” 

You pause. There’s something hidden in his words and you have a feeling you know what he means but you’re too nervous to do so yourself. Thankfully, he turns to you, eyes boring into yours despite the softness that comes with them. 

There’s a smear of strawberry jam on his lip that you didn’t catch before. “Can I kiss you?” The words should’ve sent you in a flustered frenzy but you sit calmly and nod with a soft, “yes, please.” 

He leans in. Your lips meet his. He tastes like the strawberries from his garden.

[sunsetcarnation264]

So, uh, that DT17 finale huh?

I would've made this right after I watched the finale, but I wanted to give it a bit of time to sink in fully and made sure I thought everything through before giving my thoughts on it. Not the worst finale there is, but it definitely could've been way better in my opinion. I've heard about the finale from my friends who've seen it, which from the sounds of it I already wasn't liking it, but since I've seen the finale now, how I feel about it is now concrete and set in stone and I feel the same as before. Maybe how I feel about it is in the minority side, or maybe a majority side, I dunno but I don't care. It's not the best it could've been and I'll explain why below. If you like it, good for you I guess because everyone's tastes are different, but I personally don't and I feel like the show deserves a much better finale than this. HEAVY DUTY DISCLAIMER: Just because I'm criticizing the finale doesn't mean I don't love the series, in fact it's because I love the show that I'm giving criticism and give what I would’ve done instead, and if you're anything like me and you're hella late to the party then there'll be spoilers for the finale. If you haven't caught up on the last episode, then you're not missing much honestly, but if you don't like spoilers regardless then watch that first then come back

The first part of the finale starts off like any other DuckTales 2017 episode. It's Webby's birthday, everyone's keeping their eyes out for F.O.W.L. shit, and Webby's enjoying herself. After a bit everyone goes below Funso's and they end up in F.O.W.L.'s territory. F.O.W.L. sets everything up to be on self-destruct, so they gotta find them and stop the self-destruction. They did happen to do the latter, but the F.O.W.L. members already escaped with almost everything. Just almost. The gang end up finding May and June, who're clones and they presume they're clones of Webby. Now this is where I'm starting to not like the finale. Yeah, you can do clones as like a plot twist, but at the same time it feels a bit outta nowhere. Had they foreshadowed it in another episode or have it lead up to the whole "oh shit there's clones of a character we know and love" thing then I wouldn't have a problem, but this came outta nowhere and I kept an eye on possible foreshadowing during season 3 and the rest of season 2 post The Duck Knight Returns too so I would've picked something up. The only thing that could count as foreshadowing was when Beakley promised Webby that she won't keep anymore secrets from her and the harp was saying "fibbing fibbing fibbing", but that's just it. Part two of the finale, Gyro does tests on them to see who they might've been clones of. He tries to tell everyone what the results are but when Scrooge asks him, he said it didn't come up with anything for him to answer the question. Beakley thinks they're both dangerous and locks them up in a closet. Webby, being a naive little girl, wants to talk to them because they're essentially her 'sisters' and she wants to know them more even though Beakley straight up tells her not to interact with them. Webby disregards what Beakley says anyways and she frees them, talks to them, and tries to show them her family tree so they can figure out where May and June came from. May and June are basically like "ehhhh this is your family tree? Who tf are you related to besides Beakley?" yeah, as if extended family or found family still ain't family you jerks. In the meantime, Louie just wants to watch his Ottoman Empire finale which ends up being shitty foreshadowing for the last part of this finale. You'll see why I mentioned this later. They even see Lena and Violet on there and are like "okay but who're those" which Webby responds with how they're her best friends and guess what one of the two clones goes to do? One of them grabs scissors and tries to cut it. When she does cut it, Lena's like "aw hell no bitch" and uses magic on her. Webby being Webby, is completely upset about this because "that was my sister how could you do that" and runs off like how one of the clones ran off. Bitch you only knew her for like five seconds, just because y'all be related don't mean you automatically THIS close to each other like how you are with Lena, Violet, Huey, Dewey, Louie, and anybody else in the McDuck family. I personally believe that love, trust, and respect is what makes people family, not blood/DNA, adoption, or they were married into the family or a step sib/kid/etc. If they're a harmful dick (i.e. a bigot who's queerphobic and/or racist or if they're an abuser, murderer, etc.) then you don't gotta treat them like family or say that they're your family. But anyways we're probs getting off topic, point is that she should trust those who she's known forever instead of clones she knew for a few minutes. Everybody tries to find Webby and one of the clones that ran off. Webby bumped into Beakley as she was tryna find May or June (I think May tho, don't recall) and she tries to lie her way outta it but Beakley knows what's up lol. She says that Webby wants to see the clones, Webby goes with it, and the younger duck wants to know who her parents were. Beakley tells her who her parents were (which might've either been a lie or she was describing herself and a late significant other that we've seen in Webby's picture of her parents) and Webby accepts it. Cut to later when she catches May and June trying to steal the ancient artifacts that Scrooge and co. retrieved during the entirety of season 3. She's shocked that they're even doing this, they all fight each other, and May escaped while June got knocked out. Webby disguises herself as June while she takes her outside where F.O.W.L. awaited them with an aircraft, most importantly Bradford. We only find out Webby was disguising herself as June when everyone got on. Huey notices what's going on and he goes after them, somewhat hiding in the aircraft before everyone leaves for the F.O.W.L. hideout. Not gonna lie, that was a pretty smart plan by Webby. Considering they all look identical and Webby's good at imitation, she can actually get away with this pretty well. This I actually really like and I wouldn't change too much about this. When Huey reveals himself to the three, Webby reveals herself to him but tells him to play along so they ain't fucked over. Somewhat worked. Webby keeps making little slips here and there which makes May hella suspicious of her. They land at the hideout, Webby tries to get what info she can while Huey's taken away. Thanks to the help of Pepper (who I love btw and I think deserves the best ;____;), Webby ends up finding the document room where there's documents on May, June, and a third person with the codename of April. She watches it and oh, shit, it turns out Bentina Beakley actually snatched her ass from F.O.W.L. when she was a baby! What a shocker! She couldn't believe what she was seeing! This is actually fine to me, her possibly being a clone actually makes sense because she could've been a clone of Beakley. Plus it's also a huge reference to how Webby was created to be a combination of Daisy's nieces April, May, and June back in the original series, though I dunno how many people would catch that, especially younger fans who might not have done the research to getting all of the references and easter eggs here. When Beakley was brought in (essentially she knocked Scrooge out without hurting him, went to here alone to take care of F.O.W.L. once and for all just for Webby, but got defeated along with some of the McDucks), everyone leaves Beakley, Webby, and the Harp alone and Webby somewhat confronts Beakley about her past. Needless to say, Webby ain't excited about this and she gets captured and tied up. She's actually pretty depressed, which I mean in a way I don't blame her since she wanted to know if that shit was real or if F.O.W.L. was fabricating it. Cut to Huey being brought to Bradford. Apparently he was a fellow Woodchuck too, though he wasn't the best despite being the very first Woodchuck by his grandmother Isabella Finch, in fact he was the worst which hahaha yeah I can actually believe that. It does explain why he hates adventures and all of that shit, one of the only things I'm willing to accept from the finale. He talks about how he wants to complete the collection "for the better" because Scrooge and everyone else in the family were the only ones to have Isabella's lost journal. Huey believes this at first. He stops believing it once he ends up finding Gyro and everyone else who're locked up. In the meantime, Bradford drags Webby out to a sort of box along with May and June. She doesn't know why she's brought up here. When she gets close to the box, the papyrus appears because... She's the descendant of... Of Scrooge McDuck. Okay no, JUST NAH MAN. This is where my biggest issue in the finale lies, the fact that she's a clone/made from Scrooge's DNA and is technically his "daughter". Not everybody has to be related to Scrooge McDuck to be great, in fact doing this to her actually ruins Webby's character. Her trope is "found family," not "I'm secretly part of the family this whole time and not even I knew it" and this fucks with it so badly. This show is about family, and all different kinds of it. Being taken care of by your uncles/aunts instead of your parents but still having a good relationship, some kids don't have parents and they're gone for whatever reason, being loved and accepted by other family members, some families are awful and abusive, hell some families have two same sex/gendered parents with a kid who's def adopted and one might've been adopted or been from a previous relationship, and it's also how sometimes we find people to call family because we found them and they found us. Webby was the one to fill in the finding those to find family alongside her grandma, but I feel like they're disregarding that just to have a huge plot twist. Again aside from Beakley keeping secrets from Webby, there was no foreshadowing and it makes a previous episode from season two (Nightmare on Killmotor Hill) seem kinda creepy in hindsight since she's over here wanting to be Scrooge himself, and creepy overall due to how obsessive she was over the whole McDuck family in general. You could say it's foreshadowing this whole time, since some people might actually be like this before realizing that "oh hey I'm actually related to this person" due to someone being adopted, given to someone else to take care of, divorce and each parent keeps one of the kids and they don't meet again until way later in life, which in a way is a fair point but at the same time not everyone's gonna notice this even when they look back at the previous episodes. If you're gonna do foreshadowing and a plot twist, you have to do it where looking back everyone can notice little details, not just a certain group of people, and you gotta make sure it's good. Every plot twist has it's foreshadowings, and every good one has a good amount for people to take a guess. Every bad plot twist, however, is either forced in just to shock the viewers or has shitty foreshadowing that's either extremely little or none. I will make a comparison between this and Steven Universe (which if you're still watching or haven't touched yet but haven't gotten up to season five, please skip this part to avoid spoilers for the show) because in Steven Universe, there were PLENTY of hints and foreshadowing that Rose Quartz was actually Pink Diamond and it was even a theory too that Rose was actually Pink, alongside a theory that Pearl was actually the one to shatter Pink Diamond and not Rose which ended up being true in a way that both fits. This was a good plot twist that everyone can watch the show from start to end once again and notice every little bits of details that led up to that plot twist reveal. (End of SU spoilers) This, however, isn't a good plot twist. It's a terrible one and, again, forced in, messy, and there's not enough foreshadowing that can be used to be like "oh I kinda saw that coming" or "oh shit!" and think it's a genuinely good twist. Also the fact that Webby called Scrooge "Dad" T W I C E in the finale, it doesn't sound right, I even voiced out loud that OH EW THAT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM DAD THIS IS GROSS STOP IT LIKE JUST CALL HIM UNCLE SCROOGE LIKE YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE- Oh and this is meant to be a throwback to that Ottoman Empire finale foreshadowing thing from earlier btw lol The last few things I can note about this is the fight between Scrooge and Bradford, where the latter reveals that he was the one to tell Della about the Spear of Selene (which pisses Scrooge off so damn BADLY and it's the other thing I can accept from the finale, it seems like Bradford to do that shit), and the fact that Donald almost died for fucking good due to Bradford pushing his ass into a machine that can erase anything and everything from existence when put in there. He did so with his minions, so he has no qualms about doing so to Scrooge's family unless he signed the papyrus as a contract. Not that it worked anyways, since "family is the greatest adventure of all" which Bradford didn't understand one bit lol But the finale? Not good, the show deserved so much better and Huey deserved way better because this was his season. What I would've done differently is mainly how Webby is a "clone" or whatever you want to call her. It makes no sense for all of her DNA to be from Scrooge McDuck, which raises way too many questions. Why not Beakley? Why not a warrior from F.O.W.L. with a mix of McDuck DNA? Why is Webby a girl while Scrooge isn't? You could argue that oh he might be a trans guy, which while I absolutely LOVE trans and nonbinary headcanons (due to the fact I'm a nonbinary woman myself), it just feels like a cheap escape goat of an excuse to explain that and Scrooge being trans because of that? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh it doesn't feel right to me. If it was a combination of him and Beakley, then okay I'd get why she's like that, but it still has the problem of her being related to the family DNA-wise. Same with the clones honestly. Now what I would do differently is make it where she's a clone of someone (def not Scrooge) and make it where she has an identity-existential crisis. Who is she really? Is she this "April" character, or if she Webby like she's always known herself as her whole life? In the end, she accepts that she's herself, Webby Vanderquack, granddaughter of Bentina Beakley and an ally of Scrooge McDuck. May and June, on the other hand, are possibly failed attempts to recreate Webby, the perfect clone, in order to get the papyrus to appear which in of itself never stated it had to be a DIRECT heir to Scrooge McDuck (it just states that it requires an heir of Scrooge McDuck) like a daughter/son or whatever. You can go back to the episode "The First Adventure" to look at the papyrus if you want, but he wrote that it was to an HEIR not a descendant. It heavily supports how they changed a shit ton of things before the last season being this year instead of idk, try to make it better because they finished voicing the lines in January this year when they started doing season three around the time we got season two. Bradford gets frustrated, wondering how it couldn't have worked because HE HAS WEBBY RIGHT HERE. What he didn't realize was that it could've been someone within the family itself, one who's considered the smart one out of the bunch that wasn't Scrooge McDuck himself, someone who's also a fellow Junior Woodchuck. And that would be Hubert Duck, in which season three is meant to be his season. When he gets close, the papyrus appears but Bradford snatches it and runs off with it so he can finish up that contract he's spent FOREVER to make and force Scrooge to write his name there. As with May and June, I dunno what I would do with them, but if I rewrite the finale at some point (which I would be doing now with my mom, who watched the finale with me because we tend to watch stuff a lot, but I can't at the moment because I have a list of stuff to make and I can't afford to make it longer than it already is along with my WIP list) I'll figure out what to do with them. Overall, the finale is a 4 out of 10 for me. Not horrible enough for it to be the worst finale ever in the history of shows/series, but it's definitely got a lot of things that bothered me too much to genuinely enjoy it without getting stuck on something for too long. Again if you like it, good for you, but personally? It should've been much better and the series deserves a proper finale. If there's no surprise movie to make it better, then I'ma just pretend this finale doesn't exist like nah bye bitch dunno you lmao Besides with how messy this finale is, I hope you guys enjoyed reading my thoughts on it and I hope you guys have a great day

[she-wolf-of-highgarden]

As someone that likes both Sansa and Arya, what’s your take on Ned’s parenting? I feel like Ned really needed to sit them down together after the trident and explain to them the dangers of the Lannisters as well as drawing a line for acceptable behavior. Say to Sansa: you cannot tell Arya you wish she was dead. Say to Arya: it doesn’t matter what Sansa says, you cannot beat her up. Ned never talks to Sansa after he kills Lady and his talks with Arya aren’t enough. (Sorry for sending all the asks

Oh my gosh don’t worry about it. I love asks…I’m just sometimes slow with them. Fair warning, this got...long

At his core Ned loves his children; he really does. He also doesn’t know them super well or at least isn’t super in touch with them and he is not in charge of raising them. Which is pretty on par with the Westerosi fathers we see. He’s still a heck of a lot better than Bobby B and Roose Bolton over there. There’s still some distance there. Which again considering the universe Martin has made and the social standing it makes sense.

Ned does kinda sorta address the don’t-hit-your-sister thing with Arya when he finds Needle. But, admittedly, it is kind of a joke.

“For true." He smiled. "If I took it away, no doubt I'd find a morningstar hidden under your pillow within the fortnight. Try not to stab your sister, whatever the provocation.” – Arya II, AgoT

But I think part of the reason he isn’t that worried is that even Sansa is surprised when Arya hits her.

“Arya, stop it!" Ned shouted. Jory pulled her off her sister, kicking. Sansa was pale and shaking as Ned lifted her back to her feet. "Are you hurt?" he asked, but she was staring at Arya, and she did not seem to hear.” – Eddard III, AGoT

After that the worst Arya does to her is throw a piece of orange at her and while it was unkind and Arya needed to be reprimanded for it, it wasn’t like it was unprovoked. This isn’t like the show where Arya sheep-shifted Sansa’s bed (that still annoys me) and threw fruit at her at the feast for the king for fun. When Arya does it, they are arguing about Mycah…the same subject that had Arya kicking her sister.

“Arya screwed up her face in a scowl. "Jaime Lannister murdered Jory and Heward and Wyl, and the Hound murdered Mycah. Somebody should have beheaded them."

"It's not the same," Sansa said. "The Hound is Joffrey's sworn shield. Your butcher's boy attacked the prince.” – Sansa III, AGoT

Feels like the adult sitting right there should have ended that conversation.

It doesn’t matter if Sansa is in the right not to be mad at the royal family or that she can’t. The issue is that Arya is 9 and has a thing about lying and is traumatized. Remember even though it is never brought up again, Arya is hiding in the woods for three days. A 9-year-old little girl. In the woods. In Westeros. The fact Ned didn’t turn around or send at least Arya back is honestly one of the times I wish I could shake a fiction character and demand answers. Why Arya was in the south in the first place still boggles me, but I’ll get back to that.

It takes Ned until Sansa III to actually talk to the girls together. This should have been like Eddard IV or Sansa II or something. Sansa III is a bit too late and we can see that because Sansa is just plain mean in this chapter, the girl has reached a breaking point. Arya ruins her dress. Which is bad, no argument here. The issue is that she gets an apology. She gets one in front of Ned and refuses to accept it.

“Enough, Sansa." Lord Eddard's voice was sharp with impatience.

Arya raised her eyes. "I'm sorry, Father. I was wrong and I beg my sweet sister's forgiveness."

Sansa was so startled that for a moment she was speechless. Finally she found her voice. "What about my dress?” – Sansa III, AGoT

This conversation between the girls goes on for a pretty minute in front of Ned. Instead of just standing there he could have given some Stark speech about forgiveness or something. Instead he just lets it go until he tells them that they are leaving and just kind of does his best to comfort Sansa about not being queen and dips. That’s it. He doesn’t mention that fact that Arya came up with two different ways to make it up to Sansa. What he should have done was tell Arya she had to mend the dress or clean it or whatever because she messed it up and tell Sansa that that was the way her dress is getting fixed. You don’t let it just go on like that. They are 11 and 9, they don’t know when enough is enough it why some voice of reason is needed. 

Part of the issue is, as mentioned above, Westerosi highborns parents aren’t how we think of parents. They are pretty hands off. Martin doesn’t even let us see Arya and Cat together. Ned bit off more than he could chew. To be honest, I’m still unsure why he brought Arya along. He never really tells us and even Cat just chalks it up to her needing refinement.  

“You must," he said. "Sansa must wed Joffrey, that is clear now, we must give them no grounds to suspect our devotion. And it is past time that Arya learned the ways of a southron court. In a few years she will be of an age to marry too.” - Cat II, AGoT 

I guess the plan was to marry Arya off to a Southern lord? He didn’t need her to go to keep Sansa company, Jeyne was already going. It was just a bad plan. And then you add the incident at the Trident (aka Joff “kitten killer” Baratheon is left unsupervised and adults suck at the Trident) and the depression and trauma that both girls face and it gets worse. 

At least he gets Arya Syrio. What does Sansa get? She wanted high harp lessons, find a harpist or whatever. If you can find the first sword of Bravos just wandering around you can find someone who plays the harp. It would have given Sansa an outlet that she needed as well as maybe putting a balance in her life. A different perspective or something. 

Ned should have talked to both girls about going to KL. He should have had joint and separate conversations. Contrary to fandom belief 11 and 9 are different ages. Sansa can take a little bit more information because she is older. Why he doesn’t give it to her is a different question. I think he relies on the Septa to do it. If Arya hadn’t spiraled and had a weapon, I dont think he’d have a big sit-down with her.  The issue with letting the septa take charge instead is that the septa doesn’t really get the political intrigue either because that just isnt her job. 

I think Ned is a man who loves his children and got way in over his head. In different universe where the incident at the Trident doesn’t happen and the court is a bit more stable (IDK Baelish gets lost at sea or something), then i think it might be kinda okay. There would still be problems, but they might seem less severe. 

[orsuliya]

Since you do such detailed asks and give a well thought out answers, I want to know your opinion on the Ma brothers. Zilong, Zilu and Zitan. What do you think about them?

Ah, our three intrepid Ma princes... Wait a minute, why three? It's not like we're in a fairytale and while Zitan is certainly a fool, he's not nearly good-hearted enough to play the role of Ivan the Fool.

But seriously, it seems mightily suspicious of Daddy Emperor to sire three sons in quick succession and then, as far as we know, never ever procreate again. He's an Emperor and obviously fertile, so how come the imperial nursery remains so glaringly empty? Could it be that he has no concubines at all except for his beloved Xie Guifei?

Or... has the Empress been aborting babies left and right, and poisoning her way through swathes of women to boot? Not impossible, knowing her temperament, but it doesn't really make sense within the dynamic presented in the drama. Drama!Emperor hates, hates, hates the Wangs and especially his wife, so it's hard to believe he wouldn't have used this juicy tidbit to weaken their influence. In the book Wanru is allowed to run roughshod over Potato's concubines and feed them contraceptives willy-nilly, but that's because Potato doesn't really care. The Emperor, as we see him in the drama, would have found reason enough to care upon being given such an obvious opening to start a smear campaign against his favourite enemy. Stymying the imperial bloodline?! Why, I think it might be a crime and easily provable one at that!

This leaves the other option - perhaps there aren't any concubines in the palace or, if there are, they're not being, pardon my French, bred. It's not that multiple imperial concubines of lower rank aren't a thing in this universe - Potato gets at least two and possibly more after sitting on the throne for a relatively short time. It's a pity we don't know what's the policy on entering the palace. Is there a multi-stage selection process? There is certainly no indication of that! Xie Guifei might have been an attempt to balance out a Wang Empress, Seagull was Zitan's impromptu choice, Miss Screecher was meant to be chosen by Potato outside of any organized selection and the same could be true for Potato's other concubines. Our only outlier might be Zilu's Mom and even then it's rather doubtful she was ever processed properly as it would have required a lot of effort and luck to conceal an already existing pregnancy. No, Zilu's Mom was most probably a gift of 'peace' from one brother to another.

My guess as to what Daddy Emperor is thinking? If Zitan has been his preferred heir from the start and he very well might have been since it never had anything to do with Zitan's actual qualities, then it's possible that he simply didn't protest - or did so in a purely symbolic manner - when the Wangs started limiting his reproductive chances. Why breed competition? We already know he has no use for any sons lacking powerful backing of their maternal clans, see: his treatment of Zilu. And any son with such backing would be a direct threat to his favourite, not to mention a potential upset to the carefully maitained Wang-Ma-Xie balance.

...or it could be that Daddy Emperor really loved Xie Guifei and wanted no other. Seeing as he's strongly implied to spend his nights in her chambers twenty years after their only and last kid was born, this would make a staggering amount of sense. The same principle applies - he'd still not protest Wang tyranny over the inner courts, only he'd do it for Xie Guifei and not for Zitan. It does seem to fit with Daddy Emperor's general mindset. Let the others do open battle and exert all that effort, he'll just sit there, look sage and reap the benefits!

After this rather senseless and overly long prelude, let's finally get to answering your question. Mind you, those are not going to be organized, thoughtful opinions, just my subjective impressions on each and every Ma Prince.

His Imperial Spudness Ma Zilong

The not-so-little Potato that could not, but still tried! Let's start with the elephant in the room, namely his rapist tendencies or the lack thereof. See, I'm convinced that raping Awu wasn't actually in the cards, at least as far as Potato was concerned. Compromising her, sure, just lure her into an emptied palace and cry wolf. Outright raping her, no, if only because Potato is way, way too weak and soft to execute a plan this ruthless in its entirety. Besides, harming Awu to this extent would be risky as all hell and sure to provoke authentic wrath in both Daddy Emperor and Daddy Wang. The Empress is not stupid enough to give her husband the perfect excuse to do away with her son nor to alienate her main supporter in the same move. Even if she was able to force a marriage in the first place, Potato would be pretty much done for politically unless both Daddies suddenly dropped dead. The most she would be able to get would be a grandson in a privileged position, so she'd be back to square one, only with one more female to share power with. No, what Potato did and what Wanru suffered was mostly courtesy of Zilu's suspicious drugs. Not to say Potato isn't a rapist all the same, but I'd argue for diminished capacity.

As for Potato himself in his shining spuddy glory, I truly pity the man. From time to time we see glimpses of the ruler he could have become and whom he still tries to be, and it becomes clear that there was something there worth cultivating. The problem is that nobody could be bothered to even try. Daddy Emperor certainly didn't, leaving Potato pretty much to his own devices and believe me, it had nothing to do with his talents or the lack thereof. Do you remember that lovely family scene at the beginning of episode 1.? You know, the one where Awu, Zilu and Zitan lure Zilong into a trap and then leave him there to lie amidst icy rocks in the middle of winter? He could have easily hit his head and died right then and there. Or get pneumonia and die a little bit later. Does the Emperor care? No, not at all! Baby!Awu isn't that good of a liar, but even if she was, perhaps it would behoove him to actually investigate. Not from any kind of fatherly feeling, let's not expect miracles, but perhaps from political expediency? Yeah, no. And I doubt that was the only incident of this kind. Potato must have known even this early on that his father doesn't care for him, not even like an Emperor should for his eldest male scion. Moreover, there is no way Mommy Dearest wouldn't harp on about the Emperor's negligence in private, further affirming this awful truth in Potato's mind.

Mommy Dearest might care, but her care is no less toxic than Daddy Emperor's open negligence. Potato is her key to power, her only way to win the game of thrones and make all her sacrifices worthwhile... and this is exactly how she treats him. Oh, she loves him well enough as her son, clings to him in his role as Crown Prince and then Emperor, but she doesn't actually like him as a person. And oh boy, does it show! I get it, he's not this perfect shining prince that would justify her long years of suffering, but then I have this feeling she gave up on him the moment he showed himself to be perfectly average. Sure, she offers him (toxic) love and (conditional) support like nobody's business, but there's always this nasty undertone in their relationship. Mommy knows best, don't even try to think on your own, listen to me and only me. It's no wonder that Potato thinks he's perfectly useless and doesn't bother to try and better himself, if he knows that even his own mother sees him as a perfect nincompoop. Uncle Wang's open derision isn't helpful either!

And yet Potato is, deep down, a decent enough man. Better than the average Ma, I'd say. I mean, he has some scruples! They might be really, really tiny, but they're there, even as he's being subjected to a barrage of mental attacks from both his mother and his wife. Why, given proper support and a competent cabinet, he'd make a somewhat ineffective, but decent enough ruler, his handling of the flood crisis shows us this much. Potato's best quality is that he really tries. Oh, he fails, but he's no Zitan, content to sit in his room and mope while the country goes to hell. When it's important, he can make actual decisions! Which he may then go back on (or not), but it still counts. Also, he's not petty. Like, at all. He'd like nothing better than for everybody to get along and have lots and lots of plump babies. Even his decision to do away with Xiao Qi is not motivated by jealousy, no matter how hard Wanru and Mommy Dearest keep pressing on that particular button.

Is he childish? Yes. But then, he's never been given any real responsibility and for years and years languished under the care of a helicopter parent who never forced him to man up nor face actual reality, hence his disillusionment with Wanru, once she stops being this perfect smiling automaton. Is he selfish? Oh yes and it shows nowhere better than in his last will. But even so, such selfishness is pretty much par for the course when it comes to the Mas and at least Potato didn't wreck a country for the sake of personal spite, which puts him way ahead of his father, uncle Jianning and bro Zitan. And perhaps even cousin Zilu, who cared less for the country than for Huanmi.

At the end of the day, our humble root vegetable is a tragic figure. I can't help but pity him every time we see him bloom under somebody's attention. Give that man some respect and he'll pay you back with the same, weird comments about killing you nothwithstanding. And he did give us Miracle Baby, Our Lord and Saviour!

Our beloved Groomzilla, Ma Zilu

Daddy Emperor must have been stupid, high, blind or all of those in order to let Zilu and his beautiful brain slip through his fingers. He was right there, that defenseless, motherless boy and ripe for the taking too! If after years and years of being neglected and treated as an afterthought, after suffering an obvious slight of losing his love on Daddy Wang's say-so, after being allowed to supposedly run wild with no attempt at parental intervention... If after all this Zilu still craved his father's approval in whatever form he could get it, craved it so much that he allowed himself to be led into an obvious trap, then what kind of loyalty might he have offered, had somebody bothered to nurture him properly?

And it's not like his talents were easy to sweep under the rug. It's not until after he's an adult that Zilu takes up the pretense of being a never-do-well; during his adolescence he was still giving it his all, hoping in vain that his father might notice and offer him some sweet, sweet parental validation. Alas. The lack of powerful backing from his maternal family is an obstacle, but not if one actively tries to fight against consort kin clans and their influence. Or is it only the Wangs who are the enemy? Must be so, otherwise why the hell would one not see Zilu's relative independence as his greatest asset? You don't even have to make him Crown Prince to use him; just instill some sense of pride and validation, feed his need for attention and put him behind Zitan's throne. Okay, maybe don't do that last thing, deadly brotherly competition being a whole thing in palace environments, but still, use him! But no, Huanmi remained the only person to actually see and appreciate Zilu for what he was. Is it any wonder he was so absolutely loyal to her that even when it looked like she had attacked him with lethal intent, he still cared about her safety most of all?

And is it any wonder that he expedited his considerable will and brainpower solely for her benefit? I was absolutely floored when I realized that becoming an Emperor wasn't actually his ultimate goal - marrying Huanmi in the biggest, reddest wedding possible was! Even if he needed to drag the more august guests in at swordpoint. Not to say he didn't want to take the throne for his own sake; he absolutely did, but only as far as it served as a big fat fuck you to every person who kept dismissing him out of hand, so basically every person other than Huanmi. Taking the crown was a power fantasy, an idee-fixe of sorts, but for all that keeping a throne in one's basement can be seen as somewhat peculiar, there are very few - if any - signs of actual delusion in Zilu's actions. The throne is not a goal in itself, merely a way to achieve his primary goal, which is to marry the woman he loves, take revenge for Huanmi's sake as much as his own and build a life worthy of her. She's his Empress and by gods, she's going to be the real deal soon enough, no more cosplaying in private villas, however nice it might be!

Ma Zitan, the one and only Master of Mope

With every Ma Prince I become more and more convinced that there was something seriously wrong with Daddy Emperor's brain. Neglecting Potato makes some sense within the greater political picture, letting Zilu lie fallow is the height of foolishness, yet it's more a matter of criminal inaction than actively doing something wrong, but Zitan? Oh, there is no excuse for the way Daddy Emperor chose to deal with Zitan. If the Third Prince was truly his intended heir from the start and there is little reason to believe otherwise - if Wangs are to go then Potato is done for, Zilu was never even considered and Zitan remains the favourite long after showing his complete uselessness - why not try to prepare him for his future role? True, doing so openly might provoke the Wangs, but it's not like there aren't any ways to present such ruler lessons as something else, even a punishment. But no, let's just hope he turns out okay all by himself!

Now, logically reasoning, if Zitan was Daddy Emperor’s favourite and the prince he originally wanted as his heir, then Zitan should be given all possible help, right? So why wasn’t he taught any actual skills, whether in governance or in military matters? The thing is… they might have tried. In episode 61, when Zitan asks his faithful pair of retainers if he would be able to best Xiao Qi, their first answer is not that he’s the Emperor so it’s a given. Well, that too, but the first, immediate response? You studied the art of war. Which, okay, might be a reasonable guess when it comes to any prince, but those retainers are rather young and only recently-promoted. Before their soujourn at the Imperial Mausoleum they probably served somewhere within the wider imperial household, but not close enough to any great personage to be knowledgeable about what the princes might or might not have studied. Also, that answer, should Zitan’s lessons be limited to his early childhood, would make them look like idiots or bootlickers of the worst sort. But let’s say that Zitan actually studied the art of war and did so longer than his brothers. Or, alternatively, with more famous masters. That would naturally be a subject of some talk, if only within the imperial household itself. If so, then the female retainer, who seems rather astute in general, gave the best answer she could give.

Okay, so maybe somebody actually tried to help Zitan along. It still failed. Zitan at twenty or so is singularily useless and strangely unambitious, and no, calligraphy doesn't count as useful, not if one is an imperial prince and Emperor-to-be!

It's not Zitan's uselessness or even his refusal to feel any kind of reponsibility for his own people (as shown in the Huizhou arc) I have the most issue with. Although the latter is simply disgusting. And... really, really short-sighted. If Huizhou falls, as it surely must, Jianning and Co. get a clear way to the capital, leaving Xiao Qi to play deadly catch-up. Which means that Zitan's family is pretty much done for. Now, he might not care about Potato and Zilu, but surely he should feel something towards his father? Some filial piety, if not actual love? But no, screw the people of Huizhou and screw Daddy Emperor. Still, does he think that Jianning wouldn't pursue him to the ends of the earth in order to eradicate a potential claimant?

No, what really angers me is the way Zitan treats the women he claims to hold dear. And I'm not even speaking of Awu, although it's rather obvious that he cares little for her internality and rather more than is healthy for his idealized image of her. Xie Guifei dies for him, which is not his fault in the least... or is it? See, I'm pretty sure that Zitan's insistence on marrying Awu despite his mother's reservations was what provoked the Wangs to take certain... steps. Provoking a power struggle is all fine and good, if you're at least somewhat prepared for the consequences. Zitan is no fifteen year old well-bred young lady, he's an imperial prince right in the middle of a delicate balance of power, how the hell does he not know or care about possible ramifications? Naivety is theoretically not a crime, but that surely is criminal naivety. Which begs the question - how hard was that boy coddled by his mother? My guess is a lot. But Xie Guifei is but a trifle compared to the elephant in the room.

Xie Wanru. Xie Wanru, who supported Zitan as much as she could while being in a precarious situation herself. And whom he had no problems with asking for further support, going as far as to aim for the throne, disregarding her own and her children's potential interests. Xie Wanru, who didn't make the first move, even knowing Zitan to be a potential threat to her and hers. Xie Wanru, whose baby got a full portion of avuncular love in form of actual torture and was lucky to get away with his life. Xie Wanru, his sister, whose ghost must have screeched with fury upon hearing Zitan laud himself as this paragon of brotherly feelings in comparison to the well-intentioned Turnip.

Oh, and he just sat there like an offended child while the country kept sliding into chaos, simply because some evil old men didn't let him kill Cheng's entire army with his sheer incompetence. Those dastardly old bastards! Let them scramble around and let the people in the provinces keep dying; they all deserve this for not recognizing Zitan's awesomeness! I'm not saying he should have fixed everything. I'm saying he should have done the bare minimum. He killed a brother for that throne, now he should actually do something with it. Other than purposefully provoking the only guy who actually restored peace and stability simply because the man happens to be married to Zitan's first love.

I'm sorry, I cannot with Zitan. There's a lot more to be said about that twerp, much of which has already been said, but at this point refraining from plowing on it's a matter of mental hygiene.

[roddyretrograde]

i'll be honest i did not remember that nicki was older than jake i assumed from the looks of them that he was sixteen/seventeen and she was at most nineteen. (which is still an age gap but wouldn't be predatory unlike if she was fully in her early twenties when they met) and honestly i never read that deeply into either of each other's feelings. it never occured to me jake and nicki had been madly in love and i just saw some of the things you mentioned her doing as acts of desperation

part 2/ i will say you're also right about her being manipulative (i watched oth a long time ago and i'll admit i rewatch scenes of the characters i love but not of side characters and certainly not the whole show because schwann really tainted this show for me) especially in starting those fights against jake's friends and being manipulative and taking advantage of them at times. part 3/ i just think a lot of her actions could be explained (not excused, just explained) by being backed into a corner though and when i see everything she's done written down, every bad action it has bpd or bipolar disorder coupled with addiction written all over it (i have bipolar disorder and am a recovering addict so that's why i see that as potential explanation for her erratic and destructive tendencies) but imma just say the writers and the showrunner just were too lazy to write it that way part 4/ and just so we're crystal clear i'm not excusing at all preying on younger men, that is fucking gross and inexcusable and i'm appalled the writers even went there. i was not justifying that shit or defending that at all in my initial asks (i didn't even remember this gross detail) but defending nicki's right to be her mother. regardless of her reasons and for jenny's sake, she deserved a real shot at trying, that's all i'm saying really. part 5/ and i also totally agreed with you on the kids can have two moms argument, peyton had two moms and she loved them both but in this case though peyton was a teenager who didn't need to be saddled with the responsibilities of a child that isn't hers when she was still herself a child. especially when the child's mother wanted to be a part of her life. her being with jake as an adult and being a step mom? sure. her playing house at sixteen? no. sorry i don't think that'd have been healthy

my response: Don't worry about not knowing OTH to the depth that I do! I have to admit it was my comfort show back in high school so I watched it quite a few times through, and now it is my renewed comfort series because I'm currently writing Peyton Sawyer in a private rp with my friends. So I'll be the first to admit I've probably done far more analyzing than the average person and have my own head canons for things!

That being said, you're 100% right that Nicki's writing was lazy and could have been dived into so much farther. My friend, a child therapist, actually said that she also believes Nicki has BPD, but as someone who is not a professional I didn't want to go assigning something to a person without professional or life knowledge.

I think that there was so much potential in the after season three OTH story arc for Nicki, and I truly believe that in court she would have been ordered into things like therapy, possible medication from professionals, and have to sort through addictions in order to grow as a person, and I don't think Nicki is an irredeemable person. I don't think many people are. I think the story could have been so interesting and dynamic and could have had such a lovely Ellie Harp paralleled arc for her and Jenny's relationship. And it could have shown Jake and her's co-parenting, and Jake's growth as someone who later understands the signs of mental health struggle in Nicki and ultimately help her be a better parent who learns to be a better parent by being more open and forgiving.

I also didn't see your previous asks as defending a predator, so don't worry about that at all! I think this is a huge thing that the writing really slid over and it's really easy for people to miss. But in season one, Jenny is 6 months old and Jake is in junior year and 16. That means Nicki was pregnant the previous school year (when Jake is in sophomore year - most likely 15, or 14 if he has a late birthday). Because it's implied that Nicki is a Tree Hill native because she claims to have worked at the mall when she breaks in with Lucas, this either means that Nicki did homeschooling for her senior year (because Tree Hill High students would have definitely noticed a pregnant student, like Haley in season four), or more likely because no one knew who she was and she had no trouble being enrolled in out of state college, she had already graduated that school year and waited until after birth to go to college. This means that Nicki was 18/19 dating Sophomore Jake who was most likely 15 due to the grade, and in season one when she returns to Tree Hill she's 19/20. That's why I think the age gap is a really important thing to note. These are huge maturity differences at that age. 3 years is nothing in your late 20's and beyond, but in high school it's big. Most OTH characters in seasons 1-4 don't have a fully developed brain yet.

As for it being unhealthy for Peyton to be a 17 year old step mom, you're absolutely right. Peyton is not a healthy person though at 17, and while she doesn't put Jenny in danger, this is true. She suffers from PTSD, depression, has dabbled with alcohol and cocaine. But she never puts that on Jenny. Do I think that Jake and Peyton are great together? Absolutely - but this is because their drama is rarely centred around issues of them as a couple, and centred more around external factors. I think Jake and Peyton have honest conversations, and while Jake has absolutely made bad decisions for them, I think this is just me loving drama cause otherwise it would be boring. To me, they have Naley energy in that they're meant to be, and would one day figure out all their issues. I love the romance of it all, but you're right, it's not a super healthy situation both of them are in - and I think Peyton wanting to be step-mom is because one, she's a natural mother with good instinct and automatically loves and is drawn to Jenny, and two, she's devoted to Jake and he's in that situation of being a young parent and sees taking that role as supporting him. Do I think Peyton should have automatically been "Mama" had she stayed in Savannah? No, I think that would happen over time. I also think while Peyton is fully honest when wanting to marry Jake, they should wait for her to graduate and be of legal age and even wait longer after that just because they're so young.

I have a lot of past answered asks where I think that Peyton needs a lot of personal growth in the show on her own, but as Jake is shown to be a pretty genuine guy I think he would support her in helping her help herself. Especially if we'd had the good writing to have Peyton point out that he's made a lot of "their" decisions on his own without her.

Also, just wanted to say, I really appreciate the thought put into your asks and the conversation we're having. I love a great discussion!

[razieltwelve]

An Offer (Final Rose x Game of Thrones)

Daenerys paused. There was a musician with a harp in her room. She couldn’t remember asking for a musician, and she doubted her brother would have sent one. Her brother had not been kind to her in a very long time, and she doubted he ever would be again. People often whispered of the madness that lurked in Targaryen blood, and she couldn’t help but wonder how long it had ruled over Viserys.

Was the kind brother she could only vaguely remember nothing more than a figment of her imagination, or had time truly changed him for the worse?

“Who are you?” Daenerys asked. She backed toward the door only to find her path blocked by a pair of men. Their appearances were so ordinary that she couldn’t help but be afraid. Ordinary men were dangerous, for they could strike with impunity and melt back into the crowd. “If I scream, the guards will come for me.”

“The guards,” the musician replied. “Have already been dealt with.” She flicked her wrist, and a knife appeared. She twirled it around with the sort of skill and ease a master craftsman might have used to carve a block of wood. The weapon was a blur of steel, flicking up and around her fingers before settling into her palm. Another flick of her wrist lodged the knife in the door frame, a single lock of Daenery’s hair pinned against the wood. “And if I had wanted you dead, Daenerys, you would be. So sit, and let us have this conversation like civilised women, and perhaps you might even find yourself enjoying the music.”

Daenerys sat.

The young woman - a girl, really, for she could not be that much older than Daenerys herself - began to strum the harp. Despite the situation, Daenerys couldn’t help but appreciate her skill. It was... lovely, a cultured, measured song that called to mind days spent in quiet contemplation by bubbling brooks or whispering shores.

“You have a choice before you, Daenerys,” the girl said. “And depending on what you choose, it may be the last choice you have in a long time.”

“What choice?” Daenerys asked bitterly. “If you are here then you know what my brother wants me to do.” The mere thought of it made her shudder in disgust. The things her brother had said to her... that he would let all forty thousands of the Khal’s men have their way with her if it would secure him an army...

“There is always a choice.” The girl smiled. “Why, you could take that knife in the doorframe there and cut your own throat. If that is a little too difficult, then perhaps you could slit your wrists instead although I recommend going up and following the vein rather than simply cutting across. It tends to work far more quickly, and the last thing you want is someone stopping you.”

Daenerys stared. “What kind of choice is that? I... I don’t want to die! I want to live! I...” Daenerys knew what she wanted, but she had never quite dared to voice the words. Viserys would have beaten her or worse. “I... I want to be free.”

“Free,” the girl replied. “It’s an interesting word. Is anyone truly free? Take your friend the magister. He has wealth and power, yes, but he has obligations. He has things he must do if he wishes to retain his wealth and power. Is he free? More than a slave, perhaps, but truly free? I doubt it.”

“A king is free,” Daenerys retorted. 

“Are you sure?” The girl’s lips twitched. “You brother calls himself a king, and by blood, he may very well be. But does he act free to you?”

Daenerys shook her head. “No.”

“In fact, I’d say that being a king is the precise reason he isn’t free.” The girl chuckled and continued to strum her harp. There was something vaguely disconcerting about the melody now, something that made Daenerys shiver. She thought of turbulent seas and dark waters too deep for anyone to see the bottom. “You’re not stupid, Daenerys. I’m sure you and your bother got offers from wealthy magisters and nobles eager to add your royal blood to theirs. You could have lived a life of comfort and luxury. Your brother wouldn’t be a king, but he wouldn’t need to marry you off to a Dothraki warlord either.”

Daenerys’s fists clenched, and for a moment, she felt a stab of anger so hot and heavy it made it hard for her to think. Viserys liked to talk of sacrifice, but it was she who was always being asked to sacrifice. If his plan worked out, he would be a king, but where would she be? She would be stuck with the Dothraki, treated as little more than a broodmare by some savage warlord. ���Then what? What am I supposed to do? You sound like someone who thinks they have all the answers! Well, what is my answer? How can I be free?”

The girl smiled beatifically. “Oh, Daenerys, I thought you’d never ask.” She stopped playing the harp and stood. She was tall for a woman, Daenerys thought, but there was something about her that made her loom larger still. It was the knowing gleam in her eyes. It was the absolutely certainty in her gaze. This was a woman with power. This was a woman who did as she pleased. “Your answer is very simple.”

“What?” Daenerys whispered. She shook herself. “Who are you?”

The woman gestured, and the room around them darkened. For a moment, they were bathed in utter darkness, and the only thing Daenerys could see were the shining eyes of the other woman. Was this magic? She had heard that there were those who used magic in Essos, but she had never met them before.

“I am the person who can set you free, Daenerys. All you have to do is come with me, here and now.”

Daenerys recoiled. “Stop this.” She swallowed thickly. The darkness seemed to be closing in on her. “Please.”

“There is magic in your blood, Daenerys,” the girl said. “I can feel it.” She took a step closer, and Daenerys tried to retreat only to find her feet rooted to the floor. “Your brother calls himself a dragon, but the fire in his blood is weak, little more than embers. There is an inferno raging inside you. I wasn’t sure until I met you, but I can feel it.”

The darkness retreated, and Daenerys looked around frantically. If the men standing behind her had noticed anything odd, neither of them gave any sign of it.

“I...”

“You have a choice, Daenerys, you can come with me, or you can stay here. If you stay, you will wed the Khal, and what happens next... well, I’m sure you’ve had nightmares about what that might be.”

“And if I go with you?”

“If you go with me, I will see you educated. I will see you trained. I will see you made into a woman worthy of the great name you bear. Daenerys Targaryen... the Stormborn, some call you. By the time I’m done with you, they will call you Storm Queen.”

“You offer much,” Daenerys murmured. “But what would you ask in return?”

“Valar morghulis... all men must die.” The girl chuckled. “And all women too. But when I die, I wish to leave a legacy that shall live long after I am gone. You see, I am from Braavos.”

“Braavos?”

“Yes. And if there is a dream we Braavosi have had, it is to wipe out slavery in Essos. You wish to be free? We Braavosi wish for everyone to be free. If you go with me, then you must swear on your life and all that you hold dear that you will do everything in your power to aid me in this quest.”

“What could I possibly do to help you?” Daenerys asked.

“You’d be surprised.” The woman flicked her wrist, and the space beside her shimmered. There, settled upon a trio of velvet cushions, were three dragons eggs. “The dragons are dead, or so I’ve heard, but magic has returned... and perhaps, just perhaps, the dragons might not be dead forever.”

Daenerys stared at the dragon eggs. Something called out to her, a tug on her very soul. “I...”

“If you wish to be free, Daenerys, then you must be willing to make the choices that come with that freedom. A free woman chooses her fate, so you must choose yours.” The girl extended her hand. “Come with me, Daenerys. They call your brother the Beggar King. One day, perhaps, with the right training and support, they will call you the Breaker of Chains, the one who brought fire and ruin... but not to enslave, no, to free.”

“Did you see that with your magic?” Daenerys whispered. “Have you seen my future?”

“There is no future but the one we make,” the girl replied. “So... stay or go, Daenerys?”

“I...” Daenerys reached out and took the girl’s hand. “I will go with you.”

The girl smiled. “I’m so glad you chose wisely.”

X     X     X

Alera, the girl who had once been Jahne, was not surprised that Daenerys had practically collapsed after being smuggled onto her ship. The poor girl was utterly exhausted emotionally, and Alera had no doubt that she would have to spend the next several months at least dealing with all of the various problems that Daenerys had developed over the years. There had long been rumours about the madness of the Targaryen bloodline, but after closely studying their history, Alera was willing to bet that it had more to do with the absolutely horrific way most of them were raised.

Good grief. Targaryen parenting was awful.

Still, with the city in a state of disarray as the magisters searched frantically for Daenerys, Alera still had one last loose end to tie up. After all, having the second-last Targaryen wouldn’t be nearly as good as having the very last Targaryen.

She had brought her more... gentle associates to the meeting with Daenerys, men who radiated quiet menace rather than the sort of pure, undiluted malice some of her other associates were capable of. However, those were the ones she’d brought to this particular meeting.

“You know,” she drawled as one of her men drove a meaty fist into Viserys’s gut. “If you’d been any less stupid this wouldn’t have worked. Honestly, what sort of fool gets an anonymous message claiming to have found Daenerys and then charges off to the meeting point without bringing any backup.”

“A fool, my lady,” Tereno replied. Despite his towering size, the man was sharp and cunning. She’d saved him from the hangman’s noose, and he’d sworn his life to her. Naturally, she made sure to keep him well rewarded. Amongst his many, many skills, Tereno was a master of beating a man until he wished he was dead without actually killing him. 

“Indeed.” Alera waited until Viserys had dragged in some air before nodding at Tereno. Another punch folded him over again, and Alera shook her head. “Such a waste. Now, if I had been born an exiled Targaryen prince, you can be sure that nobody would be calling me a Beggar King.”

“I am no Beggar King!” Viserys growled, somehow finding the air to speak. It was almost admirable. “I am the rightful King of Westeros! The people clamour for my return!”

“The only thing they clamour for,” Alera replied. “Is Robert Baratheon’s favour. After your family’s disastrous rule, Robert has proven to be quite a good king, or so I’ve heard. The small folk praise his name, and revel in the prosperity his reign has brought. Besides...” Her lips curled. “What sort of king finds himself being beaten along the docks in the middle of the night?”

Viserys reared back to spit, and she calmly nodded at Tereno. Another punch folded him over again, and she heard him curse as the sudden impact had him biting his tongue.

“I do hope you didn’t bite your tongue too badly. It would be shame for you to go that way. I mean... your end isn’t exactly going to be the stuff of legends, but it will still be a good deal less ignominious that simply biting your tongue off.”

“What?” Viserys groaned. “You can’t! You can’t kill me! I am the rightful King of Westeros! I am a dragon! I will -”

“You know,” Alera said as another nod brought another punch. “You’re not very bright. Most people would have learned that speaking out of turn gets them a punch in the gut.” She glanced at Tereno. “I’m making you work quite hard tonight, it seems, old friend.”

The brawny man chuckled. “You also pay me very well. I’m not afraid to earn my keep.” The others laughed. Behind her, and slightly to her right, Velena gave a throaty chuckle. The assassin was an absolute master of using her looks to her advantage, and there were few who could match her expertise in stealth, poisons, and daggers. It was Velena who had lingered here, catching Viserys’s eye just enough that he never noticed Tereno closing in on him until it was too late. “Shall I keep hitting him?”

“No.” Alera smiled. “Now, do you think you can keep quiet?”

Viserys looked as if he wanted to say something, but a scowl from Tereno had him nodding quickly.

“Ah, very good. It seems you are capable of learning.” Alera rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “You see, Viserys, you’re something of a problem for me. For all that you’ve treated her horribly, there is a part of Daenerys that still loves you as her brother. It would be most inconvenient for me to spend so much time and effort training her only for you to return and mess everything up. Moreover... are you familiar with the concept of supply and demand?”

Viserys shook his head.

“In simple terms, Viserys, if people want something, then they’ve got to pay for it. But the more of that something there is, the less they have to pay. All things being equal greater supply lowers the value of something. But if everyone wants something and there is hardly any of it, well, in that case, the value of that something increases dramatically.” Alera’s warm smile turned cold. “Targaryens are in high demand, Viserys. Every city and noble in Essos would like to have one. That’s the only reason you’re not out on the street like the beggar you are. But supply... now that’s a tricky one. If there are two Targaryens left, then the one I’ve got - and yes, I’ve got your sister - is less valuable.”

His eyes widened in sudden horror as he put the pieces together. 

“Ah, yes. You see. Oh well. If only you’d used that brain of yours earlier, we might not be standing here.” She grinned. “Imagine how valuable your sister will be if she truly is the last Targaryen.”

“You can’t do this!” he blurted. “I... I’ll pay you!”

“With what?”

“I... when I become king!”

“The only thing you’ll be ruling will be the bottom of the harbour.” She nodded at the others. “Help our friend here put on his new shoes.”

As Viserys writhed against Tereno’s steely grip. The others attached thick, weighty metal shackles onto his legs. The moment they released him, the chains clanked onto the ground with a heavy, ominous thud. Combined with the block of stone they were attached to, Viserys was looking at an extra hundred pounds or more of weight.

“They say that fire cannot kill a dragon,” Alera said as Tereno dragged him toward the water’s edge. “But it was also said that in days long gone, the water wizards of the Rhoyne drowned the dragons in its waters.” She smirked. “I’m not water wizard and this isn’t the Rhoyne, but I’m sure you can see the similarities.”

“No!” Viserys screamed. “No -”

Whatever else he might have said was drowned out by the splash he made when Alera kicked him into the water, the shackles dragging the block of stone in after him. She leaned over the edge and watched him sink toward the bottom, flailing and screaming, before she slowly counted to a hundred just to make sure. When he failed to miraculously return to the surface, she shrugged.

“I don’t know if fire can kill a dragon, but it seems like water can.”

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

Good, old Alera (Jahne) turning that charisma stat up to eleven. This Daenerys is still young and relatively easily influenced. That’s why Alera tells her the truth, more or less, about what she wants to do with her. As she will later say to Daenerys: ‘I may not tell you everything and I may even twist things a little, but I will never outright lie to you.’

Being capable of ‘magic’, Alera can sense the growing strength of magic, and she has done enough research to know what that might mean. Once she heard about the dragon eggs, she knew that she could no longer simply observe (she had travelled to Pentos in disguise to get a better idea of what was going on). This was her best chance to secure both the eggs and Daenerys’s loyalty.

Of course, she also had to deal with Viserys. No loose ends, and all that. If Danaerys ever asks, she’ll simply tell her that Viserys drowned while searching for her. It’s the truth, albeit not the whole truth. 

And to everyone else, it will seem as though Daenerys has simply vanished. By the time she arrives in Braavos, she will have a disguise and a backstory, so that Alera can continue to teach her without anyone asking any unneeded questions.

As for the people Alera brought, you’ll see more of them. She does need minions to help carry out her plans, so she’s been very careful to choose only the best, brightest, and most loyal.

If you’re interested in my thoughts on writing and other topics, you can find those here.

I also write original fiction, which you can find on Amazon here or on Audible here.

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/28/2020: HOCUS POCUS (sigh)

I knew that I would not like this movie. I didn't see it as a kid, because we didn't have cable, but it's hard for me to imagine that it would have struck me positively. It's not that I was so sophisticated, but I liked my children's entertainment with a dash of darkness, or at least something challenging--especially if it was supposed to be somehow horror-adjacent. For me, things had to be at least on the level of  LABYRINTH, with its various ambivalent creatures and monster sexuality in the person of David Bowie, or LEGEND, with its various ambivalent creatures and actually-monstrous sexuality in the person of Tim Curry, or...whatever other children's fare there is, that expects a little extra substance from its child audience, that's a little sexy and a little scary, and basically, at least kind of cool. And I'm not being a snob; you can say these same things about a lot of classic Disney movies. But in spite of its dual status as both a Disney- and cult classic, HOCUS POCUS is not at all cool. Just because it's such a Halloween thing for people, I figured I would watch it for Blogtober this year, and I have to say...I still don't get it.

I do not often feel my age, as my continued presence on Tumblr attests. There are just a few things that starkly separate me from my near-peers. One of them is Pokemon; when someone who seems like they're more or less my contemporary starts speaking in a personal way about Pokemon, I know that they're on the exact other side of some invisible dividing line in time. Another sign is enthusiasm for a certain stripe of Nickelodeon production, that mainly seems to feature a lot of shrill screaming and strobing lights and baby talk, in shows I didn't grow up with so I'll never understand what's good about them. It appears to me that HOCUS POCUS is part of the trend here: folks slightly younger than me, who saw it every October on the Disney Channel, seem to really get whatever the appeal of this is.

It is somehow telling that nearly every screencap I could find from this movie is just of these three standing in a row and filling the screen. Like it’s basically the entire visual character of the movie.

What "this" is, is a movie about a kid from LA (Omri Katz) who moves to Salem, Mass, just in time to unwittingly light a ceremonial candle on a Halloween full moon (which we are about to have BTW!), which brings the evil Sanderson Sisters back from the dead. These villains (not victims, VILLAINS) of Salem's witch hunt era can't understand really basic shit like whether plastic tubes are "snakes" or whether asphalt is black water or various other things that should be pretty visually obvious even if you're from the 1600s, but the truth is that it doesn't really matter what they think or feel, because they're just here to shriek and mug and jiggle around and do unwelcome musical numbers. At this point, I really have to apologize; I usually harness myself to the task of thoughtfully describing whatever movie I've assigned myself, no matter what I expect from it, but this was just really difficult.

Ew.

I've read that this movie was originally conceived as more of a kid-friendly horror movie, but it eventually morphed into something more satisfying to the Mouse. Various themes emerge and evaporate, expressing nothing. The "cool" LA native is actually a virgin, which is why his lighting the candle resurrects the witches, but instead of this triggering a coming of age narrative, it just becomes a reason to awkwardly repeat the word "virgin" over and over. Nothing in particular is contributed to our understanding of this character, and I had to wonder if some christian parents' group threatened to picket Disney's witch movie unless it harped on a random virtue like virginity. That would actually follow, given that HOCUS POCUS is a movie that casually sides with witch hunters whose religious mania and misogyny caused the deaths of at least 25 people during the era in which the hilariously kooky Sanderson Sisters are meant to have terrorized the town. Meanwhile, in modern times, their goal is to "steal the lives" of children to create an immortality potion. I don't know why they have to keep saying "steal their lives". It makes no sense to me. I get that maybe they can't say that the Sandersons KILL children--I know this isn't WARLOCK. But it's not even THE WITCHES, in either the Roeg or Zemeckis version; you have little idea what they do to the children. You'd think they could say "steal their souls", or something else that we vaguely understand from watching a lot of movies, but no. HOCUS POCUS just asks a lot from me, in terms of my ability to find it interesting that witches are running around and they must be stopped.

The witches’ grimoire, the best part of the movie, doesn’t have nearly enough to do.

The witches, Kathy Najimy, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Bette Midler, really just run around screaming for most of the movie. I would agree that this must be stopped, and I only regret that it took like 96 minutes for this to happen. I don't even blame the ladies for this movie's lack of charisma; it's pretty clear that they're just doing what a movie this loud and tacky requires. And at my most open-minded, I can acknowledge that it's good for little kids to see female characters who are wacky and confident, and not at all sexy or romantic. But I don't find any of this at all fun, personally. I don't care about the LA virgin who is dressed as a "rap singer" for Halloween, even though he looks more like a white separatist in his fatigue green bomber jacket and dad jeans. I don't care about the talking cat, voiced by Disney standby Jason Marsden who is not really up to the task of doing a british accent. I don't care about bland hot chick Vinessa Shaw, or the cool kid's spunky kid sister, even if she is played by Thora Birch. Doug Jones makes an appearance as a friendly zombie, which could have been fun, but...I shouldn't be surprised that it isn't.

Actually, the only thing I found at all provocative about HOCUS POCUS was the bullies. At first, I did not understand that they were supposed to be bullies. Wannabe rapper "Ice" and his buddy Jay, who by all appearances should be looking around for a church to burn, are unlikely friends and even unlikelier neighborhood threats. When I first saw them, I thought maybe they were going to be the hero's new pals--misfits like himself who have nothing in common but their misfit-ness. But then they shake the kid down for money, and ruin Halloween for little trick-or-treaters, and it's like...oh, these are "bad guys"? Why? Who would ever put up with them? I was alive in a small town during the time that this movie is supposed to take place, and I was very aware of scary teenagers then. The guys in this movie would never have been taken seriously, regardless of physical ability, and worse than that, they do not serve any purpose in this purposeless narrative. Anyway, it's pretty obvious that I don't have much to say about HOCUS POCUS, and watching it was basically a mistake. However, I do have one nutritious morsel to leave you with, courtesy iMDB's trivia page. You can all take heart in the fact that even a really dumb, useless movie can sometimes reveal something about life that you never imagined:

[boogiewrites]

Rosie & the Road Less Traveled

Characters: Declan Harp x Rosie Anderson (OFC)

Summary: Declan Harp 1970s Hippy/Roadtrip AU Rosie has made a bold decision and decided to leave her monotonous life. She sets out to create her own with a group of misfits traveling  across America, post-Vietnam during the 1970s. She breaks out of her shy and insecure, sheltered shelf to have an adventure where she learns the realities of life outside her former cookie-cutter existence. She experiences, a year of sex, drugs, and rock and roll as the group of ex-soldiers and free spirits change her worldview and show her another way. She meets the charming but damaged Declan who takes her under his wing. Will a budding romance for this blossoming Rose prove to be her gift from the universe for making the hard decision to be her own woman? 

Warnings/Tags: Talk of emotional abuse by family. 

Click on my screen name then go to Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. Please leave a like, reblog or comment if you enjoyed this! It makes me want to write more of what you want if you let me know!

Rosie awoke in the same pink and frill filled bedroom she had every day of her life so far. She could smell the same coffee she wasn’t allowed to have. The scent filled up their Better Homes and Gardens modeled modest family home settled in a suburb full of pastel houses with the same pastel cars in their driveway. It was polished and performative, just like Rosie’s mother who was standing in her doorway looking like a copy of June Cleaver.

“You’ll be late for John to pick you up! Don’t keep a man waiting! A wife must be preemptive and pretty dear.” She exits as quickly as she’d entered. Rosie is left looking to her favorite childhood toy and only friend, Booger Bear, with a sigh before starting her day. Not much had changed in Rose Anderson’s life since she was a child. She was raised by older parents, very strict and traditional. Which would explain why they’d agreed to her engagement so fervently. She was 24 and unmarried and being a spinster was not an option according to them. So she was having yet another huge life decision made for her by someone else. She couldn’t remember the last time she had held her own opinion or made up her own mind. She had fear instilled within her from a young age that she was less than and this was used to keep her under control. Being different as she was with her ghostly white skin and pale blonde hair, her albinism stood out among her peers. She wore glasses and a constantly apologetic look on her face. Her childlike treatment was clear on her face as her features were baby round. A button nose and large light blue eyes with cheeks that always had a flush to them showed her softness unwillingly. She truly did look like a baby animal, naive, and easy prey.

This was a common theme among the treatment she’d had from men so far in her life. She didn’t expect any different. Her mother had cried tears of relief when George had asked for her hand. She would finally be able to tell her bridge club that her daughter had at least something normal going on about her. The cruel and belittling words she’d heard her whole life only made sense to continue hearing from this new person that would now be in charge of her she was told. If nothing had changed in her life up to this point, why would it ever?

The fact that George never showed didn’t surprise her. So when she went into town to run wedding errands on her own she wasn’t surprised. Wasn’t the first time, wouldn’t be the last. He usually disappears at night and not in the morning so that was unusual but she went through her day with the same polite smile she always did. A smile that said sorry for existing. She called her home from the library, offering to see if her mother needed anything for supper. She hadn’t but she had heard from George’s mother, and she hadn’t seen him either. So it was now Rosie’s job to find him, as they’d be married soon.

She sat defeated on a bench to rest as the sun started to set. She’d asked at the stores on the square and no one had seen him. Luckily for her, she’d sat down in front of the Beauty Parlour and it being a small town, everyone knows everyone, one of the ladies there knew who sweet little odd Rosie was and took pity on her.

“I know it’s not my place to say so baby but that man of yours is no count. You know that right?”

“I’m sorry ma'am?”

“You were in town all day today alone, doin' your dress and all that right? For the wedding?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“And he’s been across county lines getting drunk as a skunk.” She shakes her head. “Again.”

“Oh.” Rosie sighs and looks to the ground. “Do you know where he is?” She asks reluctantly.

“No where no sweet thing like you needs to be goin'.”

“I need to get him home. His mother’s worried.”

“She should be. Ain't your mama worried about you out here alone?”

“She said I have to do real women’s work and take care of George as best I can. He’s mine now and I better start acting like it and go… find him.”

The kind woman sighs and feels bad for the poor thing. But it wasn’t an uncommon story. “He’s out at the bar past the county line. Neon sign, bikes out front, can’t miss it. It’s on the right.” She says with a groan.

“Up 25E?” She asks already getting to her feet.

“Yes, baby now be careful. I’m only telling you this because someone’s gotta help you out, honey. Maybe it’s time you helped yourself huh?”

“I’m doing what any good wife and daughter would do ma'am.”

“Life’s not about being good for other people. You have to think about what’s good for you. What do you want? Do you want to marry George?”

“Ma'am what a silly question.”

“That’s not the enthusiastic YES I should be hearing from a bride to be is it?”

Rosie doesn’t know how to reply and just looks worried for a moment with her wide eyes.

“Go before it gets darker baby. Be careful. Take care of yourself.” She says as Rosie scurries across the square to the car.

She did love getting to drive around. Something she’d not been allowed to do until recently. So a trip out of town on a lovely evening was something that got her very excited.

She had held onto that moment of happiness as she drove out of town. A perfect evening with a chill after the sun went down. She could hear frogs and crickets as she left the roads full of cookie-cutter homes and drove into a more forested area.

She had a comfortable smile on her face until the trees cleared for a patch and showed a roadhouse. This had to be the place. She pulled in with a mix match of very nice and very beat down cars. Some buses and small caravans lined along the perimeter. She could hear music coming from inside the metal and wood walls. There were men three times her size all around. They were an odd mix of trendy sleazy men with feathered hair and grizzly biker men and they were all chain-smoking. Everyone looked as confused as she did as she entered the building. If she was polite and direct there was no reason these gentlemen had to give her any trouble. She’d heard about these sorts from her mother. Bikers, greasers, all sinners, and a dirty lot to associate with.

But Rosie had always seen glimpses of people in the magazines. The intense men on their bikes with a scantily clad woman who looked both elated and aroused clutched to his back as they rode through the great American Route 66. They looked like they were having fun, she thought. She thought they looked free and those were things she longed to know how they felt. But there was no room for these things in her life. So although she should be afraid to be around these people, she was actually quite excited. She fantasized with already blushed shy cheeks about striking up a conversation with one of them and finding out what they were really like.

“You lost sweetheart?” The man in glasses with his arms crossed at the door asks her.

“I’m here to fetch my husband- my fiancé.” She corrects herself.

“You with a man that comes to a place like this?”

“His name is George. He is a fan of a strong drink and a cigar. And apparently, his frequenting of this place is something everyone in the town knew about but me.” she admits freely as she wasn’t one to have any reason to hide bits of herself. Everyone could be a friend in her eyes. She entered every interaction with a genuine curiosity it was honestly a bit hard to be rude to her.

“Ah.” He nods and understands. “Go on in, sweetheart” he holds open the door for her and watches her stand and take it all in for a moment. He chuckles and then sighs, “Poor little thing.” he mutters.

Through an old western saloon style inner door she enters with a delighted smile. “How charming!” She says to herself. She walked into a rather large room full of gambling tables. A bar on one end and a stage on the other. Panning over to meet the stage last, she’s hit with a thump of bass in her chest by way of her feet. It rumbled into the floor as she tentatively approached. She’d never seen live music before. She supposed choir and church and talent shows didn’t really count. There were electric guitars and men with no shirts and girls without bras and she was enthralled. She had heard a few rock songs by way of sneaking into a poor reception radio station when she was left alone in the car. She loved it. But it was something only classless people were apart of. Or so she was told. But these people looked the same as those in the magazines. A very tall and dark man played the instrument causing her to experience a very pleasant vibration through her body. He was shirtless and sweating and had a large tattoo on his arm. A chain from his worn dark jeans that bounced with every pluck of his long fingers. Next to him a smaller man, pale and singing with delightfully large blonde curly hair. He sang beautifully she thought. He wore a shirt unbuttoned and tucked into pants so tight she could see a bulge that ripped her from her fantasy of being as cool and free as they were. She turns around quickly and moves towards the bar.

She finds George in his work clothes, the navy not being blotched by black oils and spills told her he also hadn’t been to work. She wears her disappointment in her face clearly for a moment before trying to put on that mask her mother taught her to wear. Never show him that you’re upset. Anger is unseemly on a lady. But this did make her angry. Her red face made it obvious she was holding in red hot emotion. Her smile was hollow and her eyes gave her away.

“Hello, George. I believe it’s time we got home.” She says with a hand to his shoulder.

“How’d you find me here?” He asks with a dramatic turn on his bar stool, and he was in true skunk form.

“A person in town suggested it. Your mother is worried about you. Can we please go home?”

“You can. I’m staying here.”

“Please George I have to get you home. Both our parents expect me to take care of you and that’s what I’m doing.”

“What if I don’t want you to take care of me? Huh? What if I don’t want anything to do with you?”

Her throat felt tight. She was not accustomed to being spoken to in such a way since she was bullied when she was young. The eyes she could feel on her from a growing audience he was causing made her feel all tingly and nervous. He looked at her with disgust and the shame she usually felt was quickly turning into anger in this new over-stimulating environment.

“Do you think I want to be here?”

“Huh?”

“Do you think I wanted to run all the errands myself today for my own wedding? And make excuses for your absence all day and have people look at me with pity. Because they knew you were here. Again from the looks of you.”

“Well, I’m only here because of YOU.” He spits back.

“Me?” She squeaks with growing confidence that makes her take a deep breath and steady herself. “I have been nothing but an ideal fiancé from the beginning of this. YOU asked for this. Not me.”

“I didn’t ask for it! You did!”

They both looked at each other confused. “I was told you asked for my hand.”

“Hell no my parents told me I had to say yes to your parents offer or they’d cut me off and send me to the army.”

They both blink at each other for a moment. “This is…” she takes a shaker breath. “I’m in an arranged marriage.” She whispers and feels a betrayal deep in her chest. She’d been lied to. Her parents lied, her fiancé lied, the whole town and only one person has the decency to tell her where George was. It hurt like a knife might she thought as her hands held fast to her stomach.

“Are you like...retarded too? Ugh geez. Of course, it is! Why would I want to be with a freak like you?”

It’s as if he’d culminated every fear she’d ever had into a single sentence. All her thoughts of not fitting in, of something being wrong with her. She’d been right all along. “Well, I don’t want to be with a mean drunk like you!” She says back with a face that showed her first real emotion in years.

“I am not a drunk.”

“Yes you are! The whole town gossips about it behind your back. Your parents threaten to send you off if you don’t start acting like an adult. You try to take advantage of ME when I’ve never been anything but nice to you! You are MEAN and you are a DRUNK!”

He moves fast and grabs hold of her arms tightly. Enough to make her cry out and wince. “You listen here you little freak of nature. If you’re gonna be with me you’re gonna respect me as a good wife would.”

“Is there a problem here?” The same tall man from the stage asks, towering over George.

“Buzz off bud. This is between me and my girl.”

“It’s not when you talk to her like that, loud enough for whole damn bar to hear and then put your hands on her.

“Why don’t you go and fuck your cousin, you dirty ass hippies.”

The man meets eyes with Rosie and he immediately knew he had to help her. She looked defeated, but a shine of hope that someone, anyone would ever help her out. He knew one of their kind when he saw that look. Just like the group of outcasts he’d gathered over the years since returning home.

“You’re a…” he glances to Rosie who beams innocence in such a way a man like him is forced to protect it. “Jerk.” He decides instead of saying words that might make the victim feel embarrassed.

“He’s an… asshole.” She spits out and feels a wave of rush over her as she curses.

George flinches to hit her and that was enough for the tall stranger. “Alright, you’re killing the vibe, man.” He wraps his neck in a headlock and drags him out of the bar with a shocked Rosie froze for a moment.

“‘Ello there, love.” The singer from before came in. With gentle hands to her shoulders. “You alright? Hurt?”

“N-no.” She stutters.

“Ya sure you’ve gone all rosy in the face.” He fans her with his hand.

“I always am.” She excuses quickly. “Sorry..I-“

“No apologies, let’s get you into the fresh air eh? Don’t worry I’m with the big guy what dragged off that unpleasant twat you were dealing with.”

“Okay.” She says breathily and a little dazed. “Thank you.”

——-

“Well, he’s gone.” The tall one says proudly, clapping his hands.

Rosie stands and looks at the spot where her car had sat. Now empty. “Did he take that yellow car?” She points to the space.

“Yeah, he headed right for it, had the keys.”

She nods and sighs. “I’m afraid that was my car he took.” She looks down the ground to figure out her next move from here, now stranded.

“Oh shit. Oh no, I’m sorry.” The tall man says putting his hands to his mouth. “Ah. Well fuck, honey I really screwed you there didn’t I “

She blinks with her large pale blue eyes at him with tears withheld. A cherub round face that struck a deep nerve as she tried to hide her upset. “You didn’t mean it. You were trying to help.” She says with a slow nod and inhales.

“Bad luck innit.” The other rubs her back comfortingly and she didn’t mind it. He seemed like such a nice man. They both were.

“Can you get a ride home? Call your parents or… something? Or did he just... steal your car?” He towers over her but she doesn’t feel afraid. He rubs his head in thought as he bit his lip.

“I’ll have to call my mother. He’ll go home to his mother I presume.” She nods. “I can retrieve my car tomorrow. Unless he crashes it.” She sighs. “He was terribly drunk.” Her shoulders sink in disappointment.

“Look, we’ll get ya home...what’s your name love?”

“Rose.”

“Oh, that’s a beautiful name innit? For a beautiful girl.” He holds no ill will as he says it and the compliment hits her hard in her emotionally unstable state. Tears well up for someone, a man, a nice man to be so kind to her to say such a nice thing. “Oh no, don’t cry. We'll get you a cab home. It’s no trouble love. Don’t worry ya pretty little head about it eh?”

“You’re so nice.” The tears fall fat over her flushed cheeks.

“Now there’s a good girl.” He brings her in for a hug. “Go call her a car, mate.” He nods away the other fellow.

“I’m so sorry. I’m not usually like this. I’ve had such a bad day.”

“Now let’s sit down here and you can tell Danny all about it now little Rosie.” He shoos some men off a nearby bench to sit her down.

“That your name?” She sniffles

“It is. I’m Danny and that big man was Declan. You’ll be safe with us. Don’t worry. We are protectors of the oppressed.” He chuckles as he puts an arm on her shoulder as she hides her face from the eyes watching.

“Oppressed?”

“Yeah. You know, women… people that are... various beautiful shades of brown, black yellow..." he spoke dramatically with an outstretched hand that captivated her " … homosexuals. You know how it goes, the bad ones yeah? The rebels, the outcasts,  lost children who come across our path.”

“You’re making us sound like a cult man. Don’t scare her.” Declan laughs and stands guard at her other side. “Taxi’ll be here within the hour.” He gives her a warm smile that crinkles around his eyes. Half of it coverd in a beard that was pointed and a bit fuzzy. His hair was like a dark lions mane around his face and shoulders.

Rosie contemplated as she looked up at him and wondered if she’d ever seen a man so tall before.

“He only looks scary,” Danny assures her. “Declan this is Rosie.”

“Pretty name for a pretty girl.” He gives a gentle nod down at her.

“Almost exactly what I told her.” Danny beams.

“Hey Rosie, I’m Declan. Nice to meet you.” He spoke softly and gently as if she might startle if he spoke too loudly at her. “We’re in a band. We travel around. Play music and just...living life y’know. Being free with the life we’ve got.” He spoke proudly as he explained. “We’ve heard a lot of stories. So you aren’t going to tell us anything we’ll judge you for.” He laughs.

“We’ve all done far worse than whatever spot you’ve got yourself in angel.” Danny joins in the laugh.

“I’m sorry to cry I’m just feeling a bit overwhelmed.” She wipes her cheeks. “As I was telling Danny I’ve had a very bad day.”

“Tells us about it then love. Let the evil out.” He motions with his hands as if he were vomiting and it makes her have a soft little giggle. “There she is.” He pushes her chin up gently. “Go on then…”

Her blubbering story hurt them both as she told of isolation and now betrayal and forced marriage to a terrible man. They’d seen it and heard it before, many in their group had a similar past.

“You deserve so much better Rosie love,” Danny says with a broadly shaking head. “You are clearly such a bright and lovely girl with a pure heart and you deserve the same given back to you.”

“I do!” She whines.

“You can change it all. You’ve got the power. They tell us we don’t. That we can’t. But it’s because they’re afraid of us. Afraid that if we knew what power we had as a collective, as they’ve made us all feel so isolated you see? You can have whatever sort of life you want Rosie. You just have to take it.” Dany speaks intently to her with unwavering eye contact.

“Take it?” she sniffles.

“Make the hard choices. You want things to stay like this forever or you want to take a chance and be your own person?” Declan asks with high brows. He had the tougher approach and Danny handled the whimsy of things, it suited their personalities.

“Like...refuse to marry him?”

“Not just that. You can refuse to stay with your parents.”

Rosie laughs as if he’s joking.

“I’m serious. You could go and live anywhere you wanted. Did you even know that?”

“No. I thought….”

“You can make your own choices Rosie,” Declan says as he sees the cab arrive. “You could see the world. Meet anyone. Do anything. ”

“That… sounds too good to be true.” she looks down at the ground as they walk her towards the car.

“It’s what we did,” Declan turns to face her. “We didn’t like our lives so we just...changed them. I wanted music and freedom and to be around people who understood me.”

“We eventually found each other. And our little family has grown ever since.” Danny holds his home like an adoring mum seeing away their daughter on the bus.

“Family?”

“We’re just a bunch of misfits that are trying to find our place in this crazy world.” Danny shrugs. “Some of us play music and some just follow us in the summertime to escape their lives. Some just like life on the road. We’ve got all sorts. Certainly had a few girls with stories like yours.”

“Really?” she rubs her cheeks.

“We aren’t saying you have to join us. We’re just saying you can make your own choices... have whatever sort of life you want. That’s all. You seemed like you could use the help.”

“I could.” she lets out a heavy, thoughtful sigh. “Thank you. Both. You were very helpful. I can’t really repay you.”

“Start making YOURSELF happy Rosie. That’ll be payment enough. You deserve it, pet.” Danny waves her goodbye.

“Don’t let the man get you down little Rosie.” Declan Nods her way as she gets in the cab to head home.

—————

The cab drive home was the most peace she was going to know for the next 24 hours. It started with the cops being at her house when she got there. George had been arrested after being taken to the hospital for injuries from wrecking her car. He was being held and charged and poor Rosie thought she might pass out.

George’s mother paced and shouted in their house late into the night. Wailing about her “poor” son. What did she do to him to make him behave in such a way? Denial was not just a river she'd read about in the encyclopedias she'd gotten for Christmas.

Her own mother joined in, what did she do? How was she going to fix this? Why didn’t she have the money to bail him out? She raised her better than this.

Rosie sat and took it. But each biting remark only made that funny feeling in her stomach grow as each verbally slapped her over and over.

“Did you ever consider you’re yelling at the wrong person?” She finally says back quietly.

“For god's sake girl don’t mumble and slouch! It’s ugly!”

She had been told she was pretty tonight and told she could be and do whatever she wanted. Things she’d never heard before. There were people out there that wouldn’t treat her like this. This isn’t what she wanted. She wouldn’t survive a life like this, it would hollow her out into a shell of who she really was.

“I said, Did you ever consider you’re yelling at the wrong person?” Her brow was now creased and a rare sight it was. “Did you ever consider your son is a drunk? A hateful loser who has been breastfed too long by his mother?!” She sass’s with balled fists in the meanest and most insulting thing she’d ever said came out of her mouth confidently. “And you! I don’t have any money because you won’t let me work! You won’t let me leave! Or even LIVE!” She throws her arms up in the air. “You’re being bullies when I’m the ONLY one that tried to DO something and HELP him. And this is what I get? No. No more. I don’t have to put up with this...this… BOLOGNA!” She yells and stomps to her room, slamming the door and leaving a room of shocked faces behind. Her father in the kitchen almost choked on the beer he was trying to secretly down to deal with the situation. It was beer and not even liquor what was he becoming?

Rosie falls to her bed and cries and hits the pillows as her door is quickly bombarded with screeches on the other side. Demands of her to come out and apologize and she just kept shouting “NO!” Over and over to their requests. She took all of her suitcases and laid them on the bed, the voices on the other side growing tired and falling quieter and they tried to listen to what she was doing. She threw her life into those cases. All her favorite things, things she might need, she stuffed them full and sat on them to get them to shut. She angrily pens a letter. Telling them she was tired of being oppressed and lied to and she was going to make herself happy and never see them again. She still signed it with a heart.

She gets out of her bedroom window and makes her way to the car with the dented fender and busted windows the cops had returned to them. She throws in her bags and whispers a prayer it will start. Someone was looking out for her. She could see the sources of the yelling running out of the house behind her as she headed out of the subdivision. She’d never felt more alive.

She practically drifted into the gravel parking lot at the roadhouse and held tears of joy from her escape and the fact that the buses and vans were still in sight. The bus was headed out of the parking lot. She leaves the car with the keys in the ignition and straps her bags and suitcases up and runs as fast as her feet will carry her toward the van left in the line.

“WAIT!” She shouts and pants. “PLEASE WAIT!!” She lets out a scream she didn’t know she had in her. Her lungs burned and her blood pumped faster than it ever had as the van door rolled open. “I’m coming with you!”

“Is that?” Declan snorts out an amused sound

“Well fuck me it’s that little girl again.” Danny muses as he looks out the door. “Slow down mate, we got a castaway.”

“Being. Chased. Keep going.”

“Chased?” Danny laughs. “By who?” The thought of someone being in pursuit of this tiny white field mouse amused him to no end.

“I RAN AWAY!” she laughs as she throws her bags to the filled van and is ran full force as the van gets to the highway and she’s yanked inside. The door slams shut behind her and she’s left wheezing and trying to fix her dress and hair.

“Come now little bird, have a seat.” Danny pulls her down on the bean bag he’s sat on.

“I. Ran.” She pants out and Danny and Declan laugh but the other eyes in the van are looking at her confused.

“From the cops?” Someone asks concerned

“No.” She clears her throat and takes a deep breath as she calms down. “From my house.”

“Was it as bad as you thought it was gonna be?” Danny pushes back her hair.

“Worse.” She lets out a nervous laugh. “I can... I can come with you guys right?” She says with puppy eyes.

“Welcome to our merry little crew Rosie bug.” Danny beams.

“I ran away too.” Another girl with long beautiful wavy hair says from her spot in the open-backed van, now crowded full. “Husband? Parents?”

“Both.” Rosie nods and they share a sympathetic nod of understanding.

“I’m glad you came Rosie.” the girl's eyes showed strong empathy and it made Rosie certain she'd made the right decision.

“I am too.” She finally catches her breath. “So…” she primps for a moment to gather herself. “Where are we off to first?”

@vale0413 @littledeadgirlwalking @jaegeeeeer @phillipkopusimagines-and-stuff @mjolnir96 @xmother-mortemx @this-isnt-madness  @thors-hair-extensions @divadinag @s-h-e-w-r-i-t-e-s​

[beauregardlionett]

maybe i, maybe i don’t

AO3 Link

Ever since she had broken Obann's charm over her mind with that peaceful scene on the beach of Nicodranas, Beau had felt an inexplicable pull towards the water, the warm sand, and the calming wash of waves against the surf. Finally being there, with easy access and two days to burn, Beau didn't think twice before packing up a bag and disappearing from the Chateau. Briefly, the monk had considered asking if anyone wanted to tag along, but she knew that this was rare – this downtime. Everyone would spend it how they wished, and Beau felt she had no right to infringe upon their time with a request so selfish.

She figured it was good practice for later – for when they all inevitably split ways and she was left alone again. It was going to be a hard transition; she wouldn't kid herself with that. Almost a year together, and potentially more spread out before them, abruptly being left behind would be massively disorienting. Beau had gotten used to falling asleep squished in between bodies in the hut, or at the very least with Jester sprawled beside her, and waking up to quiet chatter and the smell of whatever Caduceus was whipping up.

Sitting on the beach, perched on her bedroll and staring out over the cresting and dipping whitecaps, entirely alone, Beau kind of hated it all. She hated the silence broken by the sound of waves, hated the chill on either side of her, and hated most of all how her chest ached with loneliness despite the fact that she could easily head back to the group and rectify that hollowness.

But she convinced herself that would be selfish, that she needed the practice in being alone.

The sound of Yasha's harp cut through the raucous silence.

Soothing, fumbling, and familiar, Beau didn't realize her eyes had started to water until she turned her head to look in the direction of the noise. She blinked against the dampness building against her lower lids and pretended it wasn't there. For a brief moment, she considered getting up and following the sound, but then remembered why she was out here, remembered that would be selfish of her to infringe upon Yasha's time alone when they had it so rarely these days.

Forcing her gaze away from the direction of Yasha's playing, Beau instead cast her eyes out across the sea again and made herself be content with letting the sound surround her and took comfort in what she could.

Really, what was she going to do after the Mighty Nein inevitably split up – assuming she survived to see it? She knew that the Cobalt Soul would always be open to her, and there was no way in hell Beau would find her way back to her parents' house, not after everything. She could always just be like Dairon and throw herself into her work, fade into obscurity so deeply that her friends would never hear from her again unless she wanted them to. That...that didn't sound so bad, because she doubted they would actually want anything to do with her once they left her behind. Because when they left, that meant they were done tolerating her bullshit.

It would be selfish to pull them back.

Beau was always selfish – so selfish. Maybe it was time to start fixing that. Maybe they wouldn't leave her behind so abruptly if she did.

"Beau?"

Too late, the monk realized that the sound of the harp had ceased and she hadn't heard the soft hush of sand giving way under Yasha's approach, so lost in her deprecating thoughts. Her head jerked up and around to look at the Aasimar in response, forgetting to dry her eyes and hide the evidence of her tears before she did.

Yasha’s brow furrowed and Beau cursed at herself quietly, moving to wipe her cheeks dry and forced out the fakest sounding laugh she had ever heard. But she tried to forge on anyway, not wanting to confront this right now.

“Sorry…I didn’t hear you coming. I got some salt in my eyes from the spray, y’know?” Maybe Yasha would be gracious enough to accept that bullshit excuse, because honestly if she had fed that to anyone else in the Nein, they would see right through her.

Yasha stayed standing for a few quiet heartbeats before she decidedly sat on the sand next to Beau's bedroll and tugged her harp free from her belt again. Without saying anything, the Aasimar started quietly strumming an aimless tune, her mismatched eyes staring out over the lazy waves ahead of them. This tune was a little less fumbling than the one Beau had borne witness to earlier, a little quieter, but no less soothing. Not entirely sure what to make of this, she turned her gaze back towards the water and shut her eyes, let the sound of the harp interwoven with the crash of waves against the surf completely ensconce her. Beau found it a little easier to breathe after that, a little easier to stop her tears and push away the thoughts that held an iron grip on her chest.

They stayed like that for a while longer, Yasha's aimless tune eventually tapering off to leave them sitting in companionable, easy silence. At some point, Beau opened her eyes and found herself content to just watch the water with Yasha, a silent sentinel at her side. Eventually, though, Beau turned to look at the Aasimar and gave her a quiet, "thank you."

Yasha glanced her way, mismatched eyes soft and understanding – not a hint of judgment to be found.

Thank you for not judging me.

Oh, have you seen me? Who am I to fucking judge?

"Of course, Beau," Yasha all but whispered. "Are you feeling any better?"

Huffing softly at the unintentionally loaded question, Beau glanced away again towards the surf and offered a noncommittal, one-shoulder shrug. Her chest felt a little less tight, but the underlying crux of the problem was still there: her friends would one day leave her and there was nothing she could do to stop them.

"Yeah," Beau lied. Yasha gave her a quiet, significant look, and Beau knew that she would not get away with her lying this time. She offered that same shrug again and sat quietly, feeling the heavy weight of Yasha's eyes on her profile. Deflating under the weight of it after a quiet minute, Beau caved and started talking.

"It's really nothing, Yash. I just keep thinking about what to do when all of this is over, y'know? I guess I'm just stuck on this thought of what do I do after we all part ways. It’s gonna be really lonely, and it’s just something I’m having a hard time rectifying."

"You sound so certain that we won't stick together, or at least keep in touch." Beau looked at Yasha with open surprise and confusion warring in her expression. Did Yasha really think they would stick together in the end? Or was it just wishful thinking?

"I mean, Veth has got her family, and she's always talking about going home to them. Jester misses her mom literally all the time and Caduceus will probably go home eventually – I mean you heard him the other day. He said all that stuff about how he hoped we would all come to him to be put in the ground. He's expecting to go home at some point."

"What about Fjord? Caleb? Me? We don't have homes to go to."

For some reason, that comment made Beau feel like shit. She was here bemoaning and fretting about her future when she did have somewhere to go – and three of her friends had no home at all.

"I uh...shit. I'm sorry, I didn't mean--"

"No, that's not what I meant," Yasha cut her off, expression pinching in the way it usually did when she knew she had been misunderstood. "I just meant that not all of us are trying to leave – because we have no where to go."

That was...not something Beau had thought about before. Blinking quietly for a moment, she then turned bodily towards Yasha and asked, "what would you do – where would you go – if this group dissolved in the next few weeks?"

Seemingly caught off guard by the questions being turned her way, Yasha looked away and seemed to ponder over her answer for a few minutes, quiet and still. Beau took the chance to eagerly soak in Yasha's profile, studying the sharp curve of the Aasimar's nose, the slope of her chin, the way her matted, dreaded hair fell around her shoulders. She was a study in silence and stoicism with a surprisingly soft center that Beau knew she was privileged to bear witness to.

Beau was staring – and she knew she was – but Yasha was beautiful and she couldn't help it.

"I suppose," Yasha started, and Beau twitched out of her reverie at the sudden sound. "I would stay with whoever would have me. Or if no one would, I'd follow the Stormlord's direction."

She turned her gaze back toward Beau and asked, "what about you?"

"Ha...who knows, honestly. The Soul could probably always use me somewhere, and I wouldn't go back to Kamordah even if someone paid me. Honestly, I wouldn't settle down. Not yet."

Yasha nodded, looking contemplative. Beau wondered what was going through her head, but refrained from asking. The pair ended up sitting silently in this way for a while longer, the droning wash of crashing waves to keep their quiet company. Beau could feel the tension near consistently wound into the muscles of her shoulders start to ease and fade. Yasha's companionable quiet, her easy understanding of silence between people being okay, left no room for Beau to worry about saying the wrong thing or not saying the right thing. All she had to do was sit and be, and it was easier than any meditation she had ever attempted.

"You know," Beau started after a long while, the moons hanging in the sky above them now. Her voice sounded so loud after so little words exchanged. "You'd be more than welcome to come with me wherever I ended up."

Yasha took a pause of a moment to look sideways at the monk as a tiny smile crept cautiously at the edges of her lips. Her mismatched eyes were glowing tentatively with fondness tinged in hope. Beau tried to recall if her chest always fluttered like this when Yasha looked at her.

"I'd like that," Yasha agreed softly, her fingers running absently over the taught strings of the harp – not making music but just feeling the length of the strings. "It sounds nice."

Beau grinned – not her usual sharp, dangerous one, but gentle and easy and agreeable. It felt like a promise, sounded like hope for a future she had previously been terrified of. It wouldn't be the Nein, but it would be Yasha, and assuming they both survived long enough to see it, that was a future Beau quite liked the sound of.

With a nod, Beau leaned a little more into where she propped her hands on her bedroll behind her and stared out at the moons hanging over the ocean. The sounds of Nicodranas' night fare were distant and significantly less than the sounds of the day market, but a pleasant hum to their sentry. They lingered for a while longer before Yasha eventually moved, pushing to her feet and tucking her harp away as she dusted the loose sand from her seat. Beau – who had had every intention of spending her two full days alone out on the shores of the city – remained where she was. She knew that it would ache something fierce, but she was ready to watch Yasha walk away. Despite their promise, Beau knew that it was for the future, not for right now.

But the pale woman turned to look down at the monk and raised an eyebrow at her in question, gesturing to Beau's set up.

"Are you coming?" Yasha asked, voice unassuming, leaving it up to Beau to either rise and join her or stay put. It was clear though that there would be no judgment in whatever she decided to do.

Beau thought of the Chateau, of Jester spending the evening tucked into her mother's room, of Veth's sturdy arms encircling her son and husband with brightness to her eyes that Beau rarely saw when they travelled. But she also thought of Caleb's nose tucked into a book, present in the downstairs tavern despite his lack of attention, just for the presence of company. Of Fjord and Caduceus and their excited, idle chatter as they nursed food and drink and knew not to include Caleb in conversation, but kept him company regardless. She thought of Yasha, standing over her now with a cautious expectation, an almost always-willing drinking buddy, a companion who was stalwart and sturdy and consistent even if she wasn't always heard. Beau thought of a quiet promise of a quiet future and made her choice.

"The beach isn't going anywhere." Beau stood and packed up her bedroll and her bag and followed Yasha back towards the winding streets of Nicodranas to the Chateau.

[c-ptsdrecovery]

Fanny Price and Emotional Abuse

colubrina replied to your post “Emotional Neglect in Austen”

I would actually love to read your analysis of Fanny Price if you ever had time and inclination to write it out.

Oh my goodness, where do I start?

Fanny Price is abused and neglected from start to finish of that novel. She suffers direct emotional/verbal abuse from Mrs. Norris, bullying from Maria and Julia, excessive criticism from those three AND Sir Thomas, and emotional neglect from Lady Bertram and Tom. She also suffers PHYSICAL abuse and neglect, mostly from Mrs. Norris, who does not allow her to have any heat in her room in the winter and forces her to work beyond her strength in the summer even though Mrs. Norris KNOWS she’s chronically ill (and it’s no wonder, considering the amount of emotional strain Fanny’s under, that she should be chronically ill!). 

The only person in that house who even notices that she’s utterly miserable from the trauma of being torn from her family is Edmund: he’s the only one who treats her like a person and is kind to her. It’s no WONDER she falls in love with him: he’s the only person in the entire family who doesn’t treat her like SHIT. But while Edmund recognizes Mrs. Norris’ behavior toward Fanny to be beyond the pale, he generally does not seem to notice that his more immediate family also treats her horribly. Lady Bertram treats Fanny as a servant, putting her own (Lady Bertram’s) needs and wants before Fanny’s (”You don’t want to go to the party, do you? You want to stay home with me because I get bored if you don’t!”). Sir Thomas is generally so critical and cold that when he greets Fanny kindly on his return from Antigua she is “nearly overcome” by his kindness. Even Edmund himself begins to both emotionally and physically neglect Fanny the moment he gets interested in Mary--leaving Fanny for ages on the bench alone, keeping her waiting too long for her horse when she needs to exercise, etc. Fanny only gets noticed and included as a member of the family when Maria and Julia are both gone and the family is apparently bored without them--the same reason Henry decides to flirt with her.

The result is that Fanny has almost no self-esteem. She has completely internalized Mrs. Norris’s lesson that “Wherever you are, you must be the lowest and last.” At one point she parrots the lessons she’s been taught by the treatment of the entire family:

“I can never be important to any one.” “What is to prevent you?” “Everything. My situation, my foolishness and awkwardness.” “As to your foolishness and awkwardness, my dear Fanny, believe me, you never have a shadow of either.”

She believes she’s foolish and awkward because the family harped on her lack of education and “refinement” when she first came to them, and they have drilled into her, not only that she is not important to them, but that she can never BE important to ANYONE. Classic result of emotional neglect. And Fanny NEVER actually gets over it, throughout the entire book.

She’s nearly silent through much of the book too, mostly because she’s too terrorized to talk. As someone who was similarly brainwashed by emotionally abusive parents, I can tell you that taking any attention under some circumstances feels excruciating and guilt-inducing, because you’ve been conditioned so hard to believe that “being the center of attention” is somehow morally WRONG. Fanny suffers from precisely that false belief (note her distress when she is required, by the social rules of the day, to start the dancing at her own ball--Sir Thomas basically has to SCOLD her into it!).

That said, it’s amazing to note the one way in which she DOES have self-esteem: she believes in her own moral judgment. This is the only basis on which she is able to think and act independently of others. When Edmund treats her badly, she gets seriously annoyed. When she notices Henry’s bad behavior toward Maria, she is indignant. She secretly judges Mary Crawford the whole way through the book. I would attribute this trust in her moral judgment to be the result of the kind of long walks and talks she has with Edmund in the text and has had her entire life: he has molded her to think of things with the same moral judgment he uses and to think herself capable of being superior to others in that moral judgment. Of course, since she has absorbed the moral tone of Edmund, learned from Sir Thomas, she is pretty judgy sometimes, since Sir Thomas clearly feels himself and his moral code to be superior rather than conservative. She certainly feels superior to her birth family (with some reason, honestly lol), because in this one thing she has been taught that the family she grew up in was superior to others. She has imbibed this superiority and acts it out when at Plymouth.

Let me give you an example of Sir Thomas’s conservative moral code. You might think, from reading Mansfield Park, that Jane Austen disapproved of private theatricals, and that they were generally considered too naughty by the Better Sort of Person. It turns out that this isn’t true at all. Not only were private theatricals popular, but Jane Austen enjoyed performing in them and even WROTE some plays for that purpose! One of them involves a gentleman sitting on a lady’s lap!! It turns out that the strait-laced tone of the novel is not so much a reflection of the author’s standards of conduct, but of Sir Thomas’s, imbibed by Edmund and then Fanny. Edmund, Fanny, and Sir Thomas’s dislike of private theatricals would have been a bit PRUDISH at the time, not the obvious standard of Good Breeding.

Another thing the novel has imbibed from Sir Thomas is its insularity. The modern criticism of Mansfield Park talks a lot about the family’s isolation. Now, I don’t hold with the criticism that makes a big deal out of Fanny marrying her cousin and implying that that’s incestuous, because in the 19th century, cousin marriage was not only acceptable but a norm. Marrying your cousin was often considered desirable because it strengthened family ties and kept money in the family. BUT, I completely agree with the observation that the Mansfield Park family seems to shun the outside world. 

One thing that I don’t know if the criticism has commented on is that dysfunctional families often function like cults. Offspring of dysfunctional families tend either to rebel and “run away” (Maria elopes, Julia elopes, Tom rebels) or to fail to establish autonomy (Edmund takes a living in Sir Thomas’s gift and later the house right down the road; Fanny never gets out of the family at all because she marries Edmund). Dysfunctional families also teach their members not to trust those outside the family circle. They don’t tend to socially interact much with others. I can say from personal experience that my parents have VERY few friends that they see outside of work or church, and only one couple that they invite to the house regularly. As a child, I rarely got to have birthday parties with my friends: my parents would instead invite my extended family. I was taught not to establish strong bonds outside the family, to trust the family only to be generous or to help and support me. I find it difficult to establish strong ties of friendship outside the family or to trust those friends to support me the way my family might.

The Bertrams are the same way. Maria and Julia go to local balls, but that happens offscreen, and we never meet any of their acquaintances except Mr. and Mrs. Rushworth (who become family). The family disapproves strongly of Tom’s having such an active social life away from home, and disapproves when he brings home a friend (Mr. Yates) to stay. Even when Sir Thomas holds a ball for Fanny in the house itself, we never actually meet any of the guests except the ones we already know! And the “last straw” that causes Edmund to agree to join the theatricals is when they start asking people “outside their circle” of Mansfield and the parsonage to participate. He also deplores that they might invite in an audience of these personae non gratae. Frankly, it’s amazing that the Bertrams were willing to open their family circle enough to let in, not only the Grants, but the Crawfords.

I’ve gone on for quite awhile, but I’ll close like this. When I first read Mansfield Park, I hated it and I hated Fanny, because she had no backbone and cried all the time. Then I watched the 2007 adaptation with Billie Piper, and realized that although Fanny was so shy and retiring and weepy, she had an iron backbone in that nobody could make her do what she thought was wrong. Mansfield became one of my favorite Austen novels.

At the moment, I don’t feel like I can reread MP. I’m dealing so much with my own history of emotional abuse and neglect that MP strikes just waaaay too close to home (also the reason I can’t rewatch Tangled right now). I’m not sure how much I like MP anymore, frankly. Austen did a fantastic job of accurately portraying a victim of emotional abuse. And she gave Fanny what she wanted at the end, which was Edmund. But I can’t help wondering if Austen herself wished she could have ended the novel differently. She comes right out and says, authoritatively, that if Edmund had married Mary, and Crawford hadn’t run off with Maria, that Fanny would have married Crawford and been happy. She could have escaped from her abusive family, with someone who really sees their abuse: “And they will now see their cousin treated as she ought to be, and I wish they may be heartily ashamed of their own abominable neglect and unkindness.” If Crawford and Maria hadn’t run off together, the ending of Mansfield Park might have been entirely different--and it MIGHT have been better.   

[moonlightreal]

Let’s watch more in Italian!

By the by, if any of you out there in tumblr-land know where there are more episodes in English, don’t keep it to yourself!  I’m somewhat terrified my only source won’t be supplying them anymore and I’ll have to wait and hunt, and there’s stuff a few episodes on that I REALLY want to see and dissect and have All The Opinions on.

But no hint of that stuff will appear before us in these two filler-laden but fun episodes.

21 La gara di ballo su Melody

Alfea!  Grizelda lectures in the courtyard.  they’re doing magic shield practice and Knut and Kiko are shooting cannonballs with a catapult to be shielded against.  I wonder if shields against a physical object and shields against  a magic zap are a different spell.  Stella’s shield is a gold star.

Musa is up next but her phone rings.  Riven wants to go out for ice cream!

So they’re back together?  I don’t really remember them getting back together.  My guess is here’s what happened: the second-half writers were told that part of the plot in the first half was that Musa and Riven would get back together, and then the first-half writers… flubbed it.  It happens to us all, you get to the end of the story and realize you didn’t manage to do one of the things you were planning to do.

Or else this ice cream date is Riven’s attempt to actually get back together. Without understanding the dialog I can’t be sure.

  Because she’s paying attention to her phone she nearly gets beaned with a cannonball, and then Knut launches Kiko from the catapult, and then the star box appears to save us from the slapstick.

We’re going to Melody!  I think the girls ask Grizelda’s permission to go, which is weird because it again brings up the question of whether they’re heroes or students, adults or kids.  You can’t really be both.

So Musa texts Riven that they have to go save the universe again.  Flora talks to Musa, I bet that conversation would clear up my confusion if I could understand it.

Bloom is concerned about the Trix, but Stella says there’s no way the Trix could be there already and we cut to…

The Trix were there already!  Aerial zappy battle for the star, which is on top of one of these really cool giant rock spires that have the tops carved into treble clefs.  Love the geography!  I want to imagine who carved these things, I wonder how people know when they move into a realm what kind of magic it will have.  The girls’ home realms each have a certain flavor, while Magix isn’t associated with any particular kind of magic.

In the fight the prime star gets dislodged and its little hamster ball goes sailing off towards the city.  Everybody follow it!

Cut to… a disco! Or some kind of… do nightclubs really look like that?  Colored lights, big speakers, several levels of dance floors, big screens. Very cool.  The partygoers do not look particularly traditionally Asian, they’re all colors and wearing big pants and hats and sweaters.  I think this is like, Asian punk clothing?  

And there’s Galatea!  The art style has actually made her look older than she was, she’s wearing the same dress as when we saw her in the sovereign council, that super skinny dress with the ruffles up front. I feel like the very classical-music Galatea should look more uncomfortable at this not-classical club, she doesn’t fit aestetically, but she’s having a grand time announcing the dance contest.

The Winx come in, I don’t know how they knew to come here.  Galatea holds up the prize for the contest, a crown with a treble clef on it, and the prime star landed inside.

Ok, it flew from outside and landed perfectly in the crown and Galatea’s holding it up and doesn’t notice?  Come on.

So Musa goes, “Hey, Galatea, old friend, we need that star and then you can go back to enjoying your contest!” and Galatea gives it to her--

Not.  That is not what happens.

I wish I knew what she was saying about Galatea here.

The Trix are here too.  Icy tries some magic and it doesn’t work and all the punk kids glare at her.  She looks quite worried for just being glared at by a bunch of punk kids!

So we’ll just have to win the contest to get the prime star!

Bloom seems pretty happy about this, and Stella gets everyone dressed up. Gradient-colored outfits with neon edging.  Bloom comes off worst, the designers couldn’t bring themselves to go with blue so she’s in mostly a muddy purple and her hairstyle is not good.  Flora’s is similarly blah, Musa has cute banding across her top and I like her very ninties hair.  Tec is cute in green and Stella in yellow. Aisha’s turquoise with purple neon looks the best.

The Trix argue.  I think Darcy wants out of this latest wacky plan by her sisters.  Icy and Stormy get their dance clothes on and they look awesome!  Way better than the Winx.  Icy’s hairdo is a bit much but other than that they rock.

We cut to Red fountain.  Sky and Brandon are sparring.  Riven is brooding about Musa.  The boys talk, and I shudder to think what advice they’re giving Riven.

Back on melody Stella offers to be first in the dance contest.  Galatea recognizes her by name so the girls totally could call on their friendship with Galatea to get the star.

This dance contest is like DDR Twister, anywhere on the floor can light up and also spots in the air.  I cannot wait until this is a real thing in AR. It’s coming, people.  It’s coming.

Stella isn’t great, she gets catapulted off the stage and lands in Bloom’s arms.

Icy vs Flora dance! Bloom says, ‘Icy’s not bad!” which is my level of understanding Italian.  Flora grins cutely the whole time and is pretty adorable, but she loses and gets carried off the stage in a bubble which pops, dropping her in aisha’s arms.

I used to love DDR. I was terrible at it, but it’s fun.

Darcy is following Musa to her house.  Musa left the competition at some point.  Musa and her dad!  Hugs!  Musa’s house is cool, it’s Asian-ish with like, lines of music along the roof..

Inside, screens, sliding doors.  Musa remembers her childhood with her parents, it’s really sweet.  There’s a huge double-harp, it has part an upright normal harp and part a bench with harp strings over it and Matlin and Ho-boe played it together.  I wonder if that’s a real thing, like the sofa of harps.

Outside Darcy mocks their precious memories.

Tecna vs Stormy dance!   I guess they’re saving their strongest dancer, Aisha, for the final level.  Tec gets farther than Flora did and ends up in a perfect tie with Stormy.  They rematch and Stormy wins.

Galatea should not be so chipper about public enemy numbers one and three winning her contest.  Why hasn’t she called the police?  She knows who the Trix are, she’s calling them by name…

Musa is eating ice cream with her dad, it’s sweet.  She tells him about riven as Darcy lurks outside.

And there’s Riven sneaking up on Darcy!  Except she beats him in a fight and puts a mind control spell on him.

Musa hears a noise outside and thinks it’s the Trix, but it’s Riven.  She invites him in.  Darcy gloats.

Next time: more dancing!  No really, that’s all in the preview.

22 Il secreto del’armonia

Musa invites the enchanted Riven in.  She gets that he’s not quite himself but doesn’t seem to suspect… then he attacks!

Bloom vs Icy dance! They take a break to mock each other.

I can tell the girls are talking about melody and it drives me crazy there’s worldbuilding I can’t have yet!

Riven tries to fight off the mind control spell!  Darcy invisibly talks to him. Riven attacks Musa again!    Musa tries to reason with him!  I’m not sure she knows he’s enchanted or not.Riven manages to say darcy’’s here, Darcy appears and orders Riven to attack but he makes lots of lightning come from his suit like Sky did and shakes off the spell.

They have a romantic hug.

Ok, these suits, what are they?  What all can they do?  They give the boys basically all the powers of a fairy.

Darcy appears and summons some blobby creatures that are not staryums from a portal. Riven is ready to fight!  Musa is more keen on getting her dad to safety.

Bloom vs Icy dance! Icy loses.  Icy gets mad and tries magic and it doesn’t work.

Critters menace Riven and Musa!  Musa finally Cosmixes-up.  They fight critters. Darcy retreats.

Bloom vs. Stormy dance!  Stormy mocks, but Bloom is confidant.  Tie!  Rematch!  Bloom can do this all day!  More dancing, this time with zaps of electircity they have to avoid while they dance!  Bloom loses!

Back at home all three of them eat ice cream.  Musa and Riven start to argue and Ho-boe laughs.  Then the pair laugh.  

Then Musa and Riven play the sofa harp together.  The music is really pretty.  They have found harmony!  Only… when did Riven learn to play?  A critter is outside watching.

Aisha made it to the dance final!  Aisha vs. Stormy with zappy electricity!  I think Stormy is telling Aisha what Darcy’s up to.  It works, Aisha loses.

Stormy grabs the crown and celebrates.  Icy’s right there to grab the prime star but Stormy’s not giving it up.  Then the prime star poofs away!  

It appears for Musa!  Riven gapes.  Darcy’s critter sees and runs off to get the Trix.

Musa and Riven have a romantic moment.

The Trix meet up in an alley and Darcy’s critter reports in.  Stormy tosses the crown away and the critter puts it on and runs off to a new life.

Trix attack Musa’s house!  Riven jumps in front of an ice blast and gets frozen!  The rest of the Winx arrive.  Flora uses her petal thing to blast Darcy into a tree.

Icy stops Stormy from attacking.  Hmm.  Is that a hint?  I keep expecting to see moments of thoughtfulness or hesitation from Icy as hints of the prize we’re getting in a few episodes, but so far this is the only time I’ve noticed a serious expression on her face.  How late WAS this prize added in?  Or are the writers just bad at foreshadowing? I mean, no judgment, I’M bad at foreshadowing, but with a visual medium you have the chance to put an uncertain expression on someone’s face while other characters are turned away, that’s just so basic...

The Trix flee.

Poor riven doesn’t look so good, but Bloom uses Dragonfire to heal him.  And she SAYS Dragonfire, so that’s still a thing!

And then, what else, a concert!  Musa and Riven play the sofa harp and the others play their usual instruments.  Galatea, Musa’s dad, and the punk kids watch.  It’s about like all the other songs, but the harp music does add something.

Then we have another romantic moment with Musa and Riven.

Next time: beach! Tec and Aisha fighting!

[biscuitreviews]

Biscuit Reviews Star Trek Discovery Season One (SPOILERS)

So I know I normally review games, but I figured I’d try out a different review, mostly because I have a lot to talk about with one of the new Star Trek series, Star Trek: Discovery. I recently subscribed to the CBS All Access streaming service and granted it was mostly for Picard, I figured I’d give Discovery a go in between episodes.

As for my history with Star Trek, it’s been around for pretty much my entire life. My dad is a huge fan. I remember that he used to have a huge VHS collection of TOS and TNG. My first introduction was actually through TNG and it holds a special place in my heart. I’ve also watched every series minus Enterprise (will soon be remedying that), watched every movie, was in the initial launch of Star Trek: Online and watched the fan series Star Trek Continues, where despite being “fanon”, has been regarded by Rod Rodenberry as the true continuation of TOS and has gone on record multiple times that his father, Gene Rodenberry, would consider the series canon. 

So yeah, I’d say Star Trek is a pretty big deal for me.

This review is going to cover the entirety of season 1 for Discovery. I won’t break down episode by episode as the season did have a continuing storyline throughout the entire season. I will go ahead and state that I’m not going to harp on the inconsistencies of Discovery’s technology. I know season 1 takes place 10 years before TOS. In fact, I gave it a pass because when it comes to long lasting sci-fi IPs, I feel that it’s an issue that has to be forgiven. How the 1960s audience viewed the future is vastly different than how we today view the future. So with that all of the technological inconsistencies, are just going to get a pass. As far as the subject of Lore such as well established events within Trek history, that will be taken on a case by case basis and I’ll be explaining those in my review as well.

Oh, and I will also be mentioning spoilers for season 1. A lot.

I walked into Discovery with an open mind, I was actually excited for the pitch on how it followed a first officer and would be more of a personal story. Discovery follows Michael Burnham (portrayed by Sonequa Martin-Green), first officer of the USS Shenzhou, a human who was raised by Vulcans. Immediately I loved this idea as Michael Burnham, which is traditionally a masculine name, is played by a woman and a person who identifies as a woman pushing another boundary that names are just names, they got no gender.

Even her backstory on how she got adopted by Vulcans was intriguing. Her home was attacked by Klingons which resulted in the death of her parents. This not only created depth but immediately establishes that Discovery is very much Michael’s story. Then came what is what I consider the biggest blunder to Michael and perhaps her greatest weakness. The Vulcan who adopted her was Sarek, Spock’s father. 

This is the first case of lore that I have a problem against. For one it’s never been mentioned that Spock had a sister, adopted or otherwise. Now you can argue that the idea of Spock having a sister is open to debate as Spock himself has teased that in the movies when he mentioned having a brother to Kirk. However, we never got any actual confirmation that it was the case. Also, we see that Sarek actually has somewhat of a close relationship with Michael which goes against Sarek’s character in that point of time in the Trek universe. Although Sarek is more open and accepting to emotions, he always still projected the outward appearance of Vulcan logic to his peers and his son. He was also always stand-offish towards Spock, yet despite that he did a lot for Spock and tried to teach him both his Vulcan and Human heritages. There’s also another issue with the Sarek/Michael relationship that I have that I will expand upon later in the review.

If you thought lore inconsistencies would be my major sticking point, my other major sticking point is the first two episodes of Discovery. These episodes cover the event that started the Federation/Klingon war in TOS, an event that would be known as The Battle of the Binary Stars. What’s my issue you might ask? This very episode actively contradicts a certain event, an event that Discovery itself established. That Michael’s home was attacked by Klingons. How does it contradict this? By having Captain Georgiou say in the same episode and to Michael that Klingons have had no known contact with the Federation for 100 years.

Now, we don’t know how old Michael herself is, but I’m assuming her tragic backstory happened 20+ years ago. Last I checked, Michael and her parents are considered Federation citizens. Having Klingons attack what is a Federation outpost, I would consider that a contact. So to have a character say that didn’t happen, when that very contact makes up Michael’s backstory was quite a head scratcher. You could argue that maybe the Federation is trying to cover that up, but if that’s the case, they’re doing a pretty terrible job by allowing one of their leading ambassadors to adopt a survivor of this attack and then accepting that survivor into Starfleet.

Aside from that bit of lazy writing, there’s also some really stupid character and narrative decisions that occured within the first two episodes. I feel that these two episodes were prisoners of the established lore so to keep in line with that, they tripped over themselves to make sure said event still happened.

You have Captain Georgiou not listening to Michael. Michael tells her how the Vulcans managed to open a dialogue with the Klingons. Despite Michael giving Captain Georgiou a proven working tactic, Gerogiou actively does the opposite thing saying, “no we can’t shoot at them, we have to talk, peace, Federation principles.” Yeah, but Federation principles are also figuring how to communicate with a species and seeing how Klingons respond with aggression and you have Michael who is citing how Vulcans established contact, nope, we gotta talk to them, not shoot them.

Now, there are a couple of sticking points that the first two episodes also show. For one, the Klingon redesign. Klingons have always had lore inconsistencies in terms of their design so I don’t see a reason to give Discovery grief on that so it gets a pass. The other point, Michael being labeled the first mutineer, with as controversial as that is among the Trek fans, I’m letting that one slide as well. I know TOS said that there has never been a mutiny on a Starfleet vessel. I know technically Spock was the first mutineer but even TOS itself has been weird about that detail. So, I feel that argument doesn’t really hold much water to count as a lore inconsistency if even the established canon likes to be wishy washy about the fact.

Anyways, it’s not until episode three that we finally get to the titular ship and meet its crew. We have Captain Gabriel Lorca, First Officer Saru, Lt. Staments, Chief Medical Officer Hugh Culber, and Cadet Tilly. There are some other regular crew members throughout the entirety of the series, but they have such little screen time that I’m not going to count them.

As far as supporting cast goes, Captain Lorca actually does an excellent job in helping establish that this Trek series is different than the usual fare. It’s more focused on war and he considers himself a Soldier more than he does an explorer. Saru, is by far the best new character introduced to this series. He’s a new race never before seen in the lore and the past he shares with Michael during the Battle of the Binary Stars creates good drama and tension in all these fronts. Staments is researching a new travel method that involves space mushrooms and his personality falls under the “cold and jerkish, but has a heart of gold” trope. He’s also the resident gay and how Discovery showed his relationship with Dr. Culber was so beautiful and amazing, that I really wish other series would take note. Then it had to do the typical “kill the gay” trope and it lost my respect.

Then there’s also… Ash Tyler. He is perhaps the most mishandled character in the entire Trek series. Honestly, he felt like someone that was just written to create problems for the sake of creating problems. I don’t mind showcasing PTSD and bringing awareness to it. But when you constantly throw the guy with PTSD at Klingons and even acknowledging it multiple times that’s not bringing awareness, that’s terrible writing and a blatant lack of understanding. Let’s not forget he’s also a result of Klingon torture, experimentation that caused his personality to be shared with a Klingon personality, brainwashing, and rape. When he recognizes something is wrong, he reaches out for help, but what does everyone do? They just keep bringing him on missions and then yell at him for fucking up. The crew keeps telling him he'll be fine, it will pass he has their support and then proceed to chastise him for not seeking help and having their back when he was having a mental episode.

The series also brought a classic TOS antagonist as well, Harry Mudd (portrayed by Rainn Wilson). I have to say if there was a way to bring a classic Trek character to help build the universe and show the relation between Discovery and TOS, having a minor antagonist from TOS was a great way to build that bridge. I’m talking about the episode where Harry Mudd attempts to steal the Discovery and he tries to do it in the most Trek way possible. Creating a timeloop with technology that is beyond our understanding, but alien enough and futuristic enough to have the audience intrigued about how the device itself works and the cast also trying to figure it out and finding a solution.

There’s also two other classic Trek trope episodes, first contact and saving an ambassador. First contact was amazing and further showcased Saru as a Starfleet officer. The saving an ambassador episode was a bit of a mess.

In the ambassador episode (which is episode 6) Sarek’s ship has been attacked by...Vulcan logic extremists. This is something that I’ll admit was a really tough pill to swallow, Vulcan logic extremists? I was against the idea at first but then I sat down and tried to think logically. I mean it’s not unheard of, as we do have Vulcans in the Maquis during the TNG and DS9 era. Having a Vulcan terrorist organization on Vulcan would make as much sense as there have been Vulcans in previous series that are in terrorist organizations. Then there’s also the Vulcans that followed and worked with Spock during his attempts to broker peace with the Romulans during the TNG era. They too were considered extremists, so much so that the Federation ordered Picard to get Spock for fear that he was defecting. So having a Vulcan logic extremist group actually isn’t as much of a leap as I initially thought.

However, it’s the event that followed the attack I have issues with. After the terrorist attack, Sarek reaches out to not Spock, but Michael. This is an issue because it’s been proven that although Sarek can be a bit callous, he will always reach out to Spock in times of trouble and need. I feel like Sarek reaching out to Michael, as he is possibly dying, is a bit of a slap to the complicated relationship showcased between Sarek/Spock throughout the years. “Sorry Spock, got to make way for your adopted sister that was messily written to have connections to us in an attempt to get the long time Trekkies to buy in the series.”

As mentioned previously, I want to make it super clear that I have no issues with Michael Burnham. I just wish that the writers treated her character with more respect to allow her to be her own character rather than have a sloppy connection to legacy characters. I feel that Michael would have stood out more if she were adopted by a Vulcan that was not Sarek, but rather some other Vulcan. I feel by having a different Vulcan adoptive parent, Michael could have had a lot more room to grow as a character. You want the connection to Spock still? Fine, make them childhood friends or something else other than adoptive brother/sister. Make them Starfleet Academy rivals, I felt anything would have been better than Sarek adopting Michael.

Then there’s the Mirror Universe, which I’ll admit the multiple episode arc that covered the Mirror Universe gave me a love/hate feelings. First, I do love that it continued and added on to the fan theory turned canon event of the USS Defiant being shifted to the Mirror Universe in the past. I love that it touched more on how a Prime Universe person, living in the Mirror Universe can take a toll on them as they do things against their morals to stay under cover. TOS only scratched the surface and with Discovery taking it further and actually having that impact Michael was truly a nice change of pace to other instances of Trek characters encountering the Mirror Universe.

But there were definitely weird moments. Again, continuing to put Ash Tyler in situations that trigger his PTSD or his dormant Klingon personality, Captain Lorca actually being from the Mirror Universe. Now I’ll admit I wasn’t a fan at first, but the way he left the Mirror Universe and returned was such a Trek way of going back and forth, I can’t help but actually admire it.

Of course we run into counterparts of other characters as well. For example, we find out that the Mirror Universe version of Captain Georgiou is actually the Emperor of the Terran Empire. It was such a beautiful build up and made so many changes to Michael and bringing the Emperor to the Prime Universe could and does lead to some great dilemmas. However, there is one very tiny thing that I feel negates all of that and something that plagued Discovery in its first two episodes. Being a prisoner to established canon. When Discovery makes their way back to the Prime Universe they are ordered to never reveal the discovery of the Mirror Universe to anyone, because you know, Kirk hadn’t found it yet. So how does Discovery explain this? The Klingons can’t know about alternate universes and that it’s possible to travel to them so they are ordered to never reveal the possibility of alternate universes.

Anyways the Federation is on the verge of losing the war and desperate means call for desperate measures, that being genocide. Now it’s the not first time the Federation has threatened to commit genocide, they’ve threatened to do that in the established canon a few times as well. TNG did it, DS9 did it, Voyager did it, and from what I can tell, Enterprise did it too. So being in the corner that they were in is not uncharacteristic of the Federation, especially with how desperate they were to turn the war around. It also establishes Emperor Georgiou as a recurring antagonist to appear in future episodes.

After turning the war around, the Federation and Klingons agree to end hostilities, the Klingons are united as one empire and glorious speeches all around then off to Discovery’s next mission: Escort Sarek to Vulcan and pick up its new Captain. However, during the journey, Discovery picks up a distress signal from none other than the U.S.S. Enterprise and ends with the classic ending theme from TOS, which I’ll admit really hit hard and brought many happy feelings.

Discovery does have a lot of potential. However, I feel the writers are trying too hard to keep within established lore. The attempts to also sell Michael as the sister of Spock holds her back so much that it weighs her down unnecessarily. A lot of issues I have with Discovery is with its writing. It has all the ingredients to be a great series, but it was greatly mishandled. I feel that if Discovery was either not a prequel series, or a prequel series that didn’t try to play coy with established events the first season would have been great. With as big as a universe there is to play with, they could have had the potential to truly explore new worlds and ideas and it wasn’t seized upon. Hell, despite a rough beginning, it had a great idea with introducing the theme of war it established in the beginning and how it affects someone on a personal level.

However, despite the good, it was mishandled in so many ways and did these new characters more of a disservice than anything.

Star Trek Discovery receives a 2 out of 5

[blankdblank]

Anaticula Pt 64

Out in the back gardens of your hidden home extra vines of flowers were encouraged to grow by you and Neville while Draco saw to the gazebo with Ginny’s aid. Luna helped to arrange the seating with Cho and Angelina in tow. The twins helped Katie to add the bows to the end of the waist high lanterns down the color changing carpet laid down for the aisle. Right on top of the glass gazebo in the center of the fountain there the ceremony would take place. Their tries to keep it simple had left to the family planning everything. In a pink shimmering one shoulder dress covered in a layered wrap draping from the one shoulder around you and hanging to your waist keeping you warm and obscuring a clear view of your figure. You joined Hermione in helping Tonks into her purple dress coated in raised woven ribbon flowers across the middle of it with the skirt layered in varying colors shifting in the light.

In the sea of gathering friends and family members you took your place at the piano. The words had been spoken and adorable matching crescent moon rings traded, the simple band cover would rotate as the month went on to show the phase of the moon in bright opals through the shifting onyx band.

Softly in their first dance as a couple a memory triggering song began to play. It had been played for Lily and James, your parents and now Remus and Tonks. The Marauders clan was growing and shifting in membership.

Timidly Remus began the dance and Tonks steadily drew him out of his clenched stance to relax into the rhythm in a series of awkward twists and spins between their jokes and giggles at being the focus of the room until others joined in.

The second song began to play on its own and a grin eased into your lips as you noticed Barty was extending his hand for yours to lead you into the floor. An opening spin and he stepped closer laying your raised arm around his shoulders while his other hand claimed yours and the free one draped around your back. Cake and pictures flowed between courses of food and as approved by Remus, Regulus and your father in a turn of his head Barty asked, “Is that a ballon?”

Turning your head hoping the balloon bag hadn’t busted yet with the final surprise your brows furrowed and you asked, “What balloon?” Looking forward again your lips parted not seeing him there but a stunned squeak from Fleur had you glance downwards to find Barty there.

“I wasted so much of my life, and you were a beacon of hope for me. Please do me the honor of being yours.”

“I, will.” The stroke of his thumb over the back of your left hand and the adoring gaze in his eyes had you nodding and up he popped easing the ring onto your finger and leaning in for a kiss to melt around you in a tight hug through the whistles and cheers.

Remus chuckled saying, “Now, if no one else-,”

A shriek made you all turn to look at Fleur in her own tackling hug she induced on Bill, when he had just barely brought the box from his pocket. The mishap making Arthur lean forward to catch the box he eased open so when she released him he could claim it and ease it on her finger in the sea of chuckles and claps. True they were already engaged for a few months but the ring she had designed was finally ready to be given to her replacing the solid silver band.

Ron and Harry however decided to try and be funny lifting tiny lizards to gasp and trade before a big hug making everyone erupt into laughter as the lizards bit the opposite person’s ears in their tight hug ensuing their mini panic and getting them free with Molly and Narcissa’s help.

In all it had started a bit tense but a threat of lighting Harry on fire if he tried to ‘protect’ her again brought the young couple right back together again and into the dance floor with everyone else.

Seated at your table you claimed another helping of sliced fruit to keep from drinking at another glance at the pear shaped champagne sapphire ring in a rose gold setting coated with smaller matching stones around the band. Shifting your focus from that in Barry’s chuckle at Ron being led around by his mom pretending he didn’t love how big it made her smile. “Can I ask why you proposed without being rude?”

Smiling at you he said, “Other than my undying devotion to you?” You nodded and he shifted in his seat turning to face the table on his outward turned chair and lowly said, “I planned on telling you later and let you enjoy the party. But I want you to be clear, I have explained all this to your dad and uncle.” Making you nod and rest your arms on the table, “Bellatrix is heavily pregnant.”

“Lovely.” You answered sarcastically, “It’s-?”

He nodded, “Yup. And she’s been going round telling the others from Noble houses to ‘do their duty’.”

“Oh great…”

He wet his lips and leaned in, “I knew it was coming, she’s been harping on that Riddle’s calling you our Queen now. So, it sort of slipped, that we were engaged, and you were heavily pregnant..”

His brows sunk expecting you to shout but your fingers rose to brush your bangs back behind your ear in a sharp inhale as your wide eyes locked on his then shrank to normal again. “So, heavily?”

He nodded, “Said it’s a matter of weeks.”

Your hands shifted into the air for a moment in a quick flail, “Clearly I’m not!”

Leaning in more he grinned again, “See, but that’s the brilliant part! Because, you remember before Christmas, that one nighter I had?”

You nodded, “She wanted her boyfriend to join you?”

He nodded, “Yes! Well, they’re married now. However, she’s pregnant and she doesn’t want the baby so I convinced her to keep it through to the birth and I would take it after her husband learned about it, he’s clipped you see. She’s been staying with me and Severus for the night, hoped we could keep her in one of your safe houses. So all you would have to do is fake a-,” his eyes rose as you stood, “Where are you going?”

Your hand was offered to him and you said, “I can’t just fake a pregnancy, even as a disguise it doesn’t work like that. There are ways they could tell… I have to get pregnant.” You glanced at him teasing, “Excuse me, heavily pregnant.”

Turning to your father you crossed and saw his smile grow and he asked, “I take it Barty filled you in?”

“Yes,” holding your grin you said, “If you’ll excuse us, I have to go get heavily pregnant. We’re going to drop by Newt’s.”

In your turn away Regulus leaned in asking, “Did she say Newt? As in Scamander? What can he do?”

Sirius shrugged and in your path through the house Barty asked, “Just how is Newt going to help you with this?”

“He asked me a favor a few months back, now it seems I’ll be taking him up on it.” Pointing up at him at the enchanted doorway you said, “And you are not allowed to laugh.”

“Of course, but now I am curious.”

…

Three telling knocks sounded and Newt grinned as he let you both in looking you over, “Well don’t you two look ready to paint the town red?”

You grinned saying, “Yes, well we just came from a wedding, and I happen to need to get heavily pregnant. Is your doctor friend available?”

Newt smiled brightly at you, “Yes! Tina will put on the kettle and you just go on in and see them. I will be down shortly after I fetch the Doc..” he said darting off as he wrangled himself into his trench coat and scarf.

Down into the habitat basement you went and led Barty to the Boa Red Panda exhibit where he looked between he creatures cooing as you drew closer making him gasp, “No! We are not having Pandas?!” He asked elatedly making you roll your eyes.

“You said heavily pregnant. This is how that happens validly for a good reason and not just faking it pissing her off more.”

A handshake from the equally as eager Doctor made her curls bounce along with yours as she said, “I am so thrilled to finally meet you! Mr Scamander talks so much about you and all your achievements with magical creatures I feel as if I know you already! He did mention he’d brought up the offer but never said it would be this soon, not that that’s a problem! We just get you into some comfy clothes and I can get this all settled.” You nodded and she guided you to choose a pair of sweats and a tank top then had you lay back on a couch with Barty’s lap as your pillow.

The largest of the Boa Panda males neared your side and a gooey ball was released into the hidden pouch on his belly brought out as the Doc tapped her fingers over your belly measuring the right spot before she pressed it onto your skin and your eyes closed feeling it soak through. Sharply your side clenched in a knot making her and Newt secure your hips until the full spread out ball had seeped in easing the knots with it. Around your wrist a pregnancy crystal band was secured and you were kept still on the bed while the panda stroked its head along your belly secreting scentless oils from its fur helping to quicken along the conception triggering a hot flash in you. Half an hour you fought against the heat and finally calmed when the band flashed from clear to a darkening blue confirming you were pregnant making the pandas bound around the room giddily knowing more of their kind were coming.

Snacks and special teas were given before you were let up and allowed to head home again. A tight hug from Newt came with his assurance to keep checking up on you and into the street Barty led you draping his arm around your back smirking in the shift of your gaze to him. “Have I told you how marvelous you are today?”

“Thank you for not laughing.”

After a stunned scoff he replied, “Saving a nearly extinct race of creatures while fooling one of the darkest bunch of people in the Wizarding world. Far from humorous.” In your glance up at him he let out a weak chuckle and said, “I cannot wait to see how adorable your little ones are. All tiny and fuzzy,” your giggles sounded making him chuckle again.

Back to your home you went and feeling the weight of the day you stole one of the last brownies left smiling that Remus and Tonks were still dancing alone in the moonlight, the moment captured eternally on film by the camera still floating through the house catching the guests in varying stages of relaxation before bed. Off to share with your father what your plan was Barty watched you head up to your bedroom to answer your physical urge to sleep. The early morning stop to answer Lucius’ request to make a double of his home and shrink the real one for protection would find you extra rested before heading off to your shop.

..

Warm light filled your room with the sunrise and in a rub of your face your eyes opened to inspect the still blue crystal bracelet and engagement ring you were still wearing reminding you of your eventful day. In a deep exhale you shifted onto your back off your numb shoulder and used your feet and conscious hand to brush the covers down to sit up. At the edge of the bed your eyes sank to your belly and in a lift of your shirt your lips parted in the drastic change over night.

Onto your feet you climbed and hurried into the bathroom to look at yourself in the mirror already looking like you had swallowed a quaffle. Exhaling sharply your hands settled on the counter of the sink when a stroke of your belly stirred a group of wiggles inside you making you mumble, “Okay, that’s not odd at all…” again you stroked your belly saying, “You all behave in there.”

Looking at your reflection again your eyes rose from your stomach to your arms up to your face, clearly now you were glowing almost, well, not glowing but glittering. A common trait of Veela women who are expecting adding to their allure, a trait easily explained as missed with certain potions, of which you had none ready. But at least being an eighth Veela it was only noticeable up close and in low light, almost forgettable when you switched the lights on. Turning around you sighed and went to look in your closet mumbling, “Thick tights it is.”

Changing out of your father’s old jersey and your shorts you picked a pair of underwear, nice comfy pair you made certain to add pads to just in case of anything embarrassing happening after hearing so many stories from Molly on accidents that came up in her various pregnancies. Carefully you settled the soft bra around your noticeably swollen chest making you huff at how badly your back was going to take these new changes to your figure. Sitting on the stool you eased the black leggings you had found on one of the shelves from your last shopping trip in Hogsmeade, coated in soft grey clouds and shimmering stars you eased up around your hips under your belly.

Nipping at your lip you eyed your shirts and decided on a royal blue blouse reaching to the middle of your thighs. The baggy shirt with a low dipping neck had you reaching for a small vest you added covering your chest and helping to ruffle up the rest of the shirt to disguise your belly. Socks and your boots were next to be added with your wand sheath and pouch you slid in the hidden pocket on the vest. A jacket was grabbed and set on the counter to the sink when you went to brush your teeth and undo your loose braid you fluffed around you hoping to disguise the glittering of your skin.

Still down you went and flashing a grin at K in passing, whose eyes traveled over you knowingly in heading to the kitchen for some more juice for you and took your seat at your father’s side. Even groggily his eyes landed on you and a wide grin settled onto his face you answered with a quick grin then turned to the full plate Regulus set in front of you.

“Oi.” Across the table your eyes rose to Ron as he said, “What’s wrong with your face Jaqi?”

All eyes shifted to you with Fleur’s along with them stirring a loud gasp from her making you turn to Ron saying, “Subtle, very subtle.”

Fleur hopped up on her feet saying in French as she rounded the table, “How did I not notice this? You are dazzling!” At your seat she claimed the one beside it and squeaked seeing your belly more apparent making her extend her hands causing the teens across from you to stand open mouthed at her hands settling on your belly after an approving nod.

Harry, “When did that happen?!”

Ron, “Must have been that wrap thing! Does Mum know?!”

Molly came into the room asking, “Does Mum know what-?” Her eyes scanned the room and naturally fell to you dropping her mouth hurrying her shuffle over to you, “Jaqi!”

Flashing a quick grin you said, “False negatives on the tests put me off.” Watching her hands replace Fleur’s as you said, “Sort of popped up at once.” In a group shifting under her hands telling of the odd pregnancy making her eyes catch yours in a flicker of silver trading the memory of learning what Barty had told Riddle and how you had gotten pregnant spreading a grin onto her face to keep from giggling at the creatures you were carrying.

Molly, “I’ll start the prepping then, for our little bundle on the way.”

Fleur dug through her purse left hanging on her chair saying, “I know I have some in here…Mama sent me some just in case.” With a grin she pulled the powder compact she carried over to you unwrapping to crouch beside you, “I can always get more. This will help with the shimmer.” A few taps of the puff inside to the powder later and she adoringly helped to dab the muting powder on your face and neck she folded shut again and pressed into your palm smiling at you, “There, stunning as ever. Have you told your great grandparents yet?”

“No. Not yet. Not really certain, how to…”

Her hand waved and she said, “They will be ecstatic!”

Straightening up Molly said, “I’m going to fetch you some extra fruit today. You’ll need ample fruits, and all the right juices, oh I’ll get started on a list.” She said hurrying off as Fleur turned to her seat again leaving you staring at Harry and Ron sitting wide eyed staring at you still even through Ginny and Hermione’s tugging them back to their seats.

Hermione flashed you a grin, “You’ll be a wonderful Mum.”

Ginny nodded and said, “Can’t wait to see a baby morpher!”

Softly you giggled and glanced at the smirking Twins taking their own seats for the breakfast you all got back to as Harry and Ron asked questions trying to come to terms with the stunning news, all mainly critiquing the Quidditch finals on how safe you had been in each match soon sending themselves up to rewatch the matches carefully. In the mix as you rose to head off to the Malfoy Manor with the twins the rest of the teens came down and heard in the shuffling of stunned adults adjusting to the news as well.

Sharing grins over your head Fred and George asked, “Do we get to help name them?”

Giggling to yourself you brushed your hair from your face in their joint reach out to rub your belly and George said, “Can’t wait to see their fuzzy faces.”

“Well he just sprung it all on me. He told them all I was heavily pregnant. Heavily! I can’t just potion my way through that without dipping to a baby snatching spell and I am not dipping into that pit of lava. And me mimicking the belly brings up a whole heap of problems in making that convincing.”

Fred, “Ya, that is troubling, only thing is,”

Both, “Where’s the baby coming from?”

George, “Percy might accept an infantile potion if we ask nicely.”

You giggled again saying as you stepped through the enchanted doorway to the driveway outside the locked gate and said, “Barty’s one night stand ended fruitfully.” They looked at you open mouthed, “She doesn’t want it, Barty does, we do, so, baby.”

Fred sheepishly asked, “What about, I mean, you can’t hide morpher in a baby..”

George nodded, “Or fake it, bit hard to..”

“She is, Barty mentioned her asking what he wanted her to look like after they were alone.”

Both of them grinned saying, “Ah, how convenient.”

You giggled again, “If I didn’t know better he’d have chosen her for it.”

The door opening behind you again bringing Draco up to you open mouthed asking, “You’re pregnant?! I mean, I know what Barty said to Bella, but, you’re actually, pregnant?!”

With a sigh you said, “For now, I have to say that I can’t tell you everything, I will explain things after the birth.” In his stolen glance at your belly he came closer and your hand guided his onto it making his brow inch up at the kick under his hand, softly in latin you whispered, “I wasn’t pregnant at the wedding.”

Softly he asked back, “Is it illegal?”

You shook your head and the twins giggled to themselves and said, “They’re adorable.” Draco’s brows inched up and they said, “You’ll see.”

Draco’s hand pulled back and he looked to the manor saying, “Dad pulled all we’d need out. Some of the new numbers from the South keep talking about sacking the 28’s houses.”

In you and the trio shrinking and duplicating the shielded manor Draco kept watch around you then cradled the orb. At your speaking again he met your gaze, “Has Astoria asked for shielding on her home?”

Draco, “Her parents seem to be leaning towards it. Brought up possibly heading to a vacation home out near the Netherlands. But they don’t want to abandon the fort.”

With a nod you led the way through your door to the shop for you to start readying to unlock for the day. “Well keep letting her know we can help with both if they decide it.”

“Ok,” with a sway of his hand the orb was sent to his parents’ room in your home, “I will.” Turning to head to his own tasks while you handled yours. The doors were opened and in your chosen task of keeping displays filled you wove through bursts of people trying not to draw attention to your ring or belly, though thankfully for you it was the ring that drew attention and questions of who you were marrying.

.

Home again with a sigh you entered the kitchen and charmed the kettle to fill and set on the burner you lit, cocoa powder was added to a large mug you brought out marshmallows for. From the hall K entered asking, “Would you like a grilled cheese, Mistress?”

Catching his gaze you grinned saying, “Yes, please.” Stroking a hand over your raised shin to fix a fold in your sock, “It’s a tricky situation, but thank you for not thinking less of me.”

His hand outstretched to cradle yours, “Mistress has treated Kreacher like family. Kreacher would never think less of his Mistress. This baby will be much loved and protected. My kind do not trouble with weddings for our young. Mistress is having a child and Kreacher will never allow harm to the child.”

Softly you replied in removing the kettle, “Thank you.” Filling your mug to the brim you stirred with a swirl of your finger above it with a flurry of marshmallows adding to it.

K spoke again, “Kreacher will ready your sandwiches, go and relax Mistress.”

“Thank you.” You replied raising your mug to sip on heading to your room, in passing the library you caught Hermione’s gaze from the library door and you sighed entering the room mentally calling for a certain book. Easing into the chair on her right that scooted out for you she shifted in hers eyeing you in your next sip. “No laughing.”

“What would I laugh at?” In the landing of the book on the table you flipped it open to the right page and slid it closer to her making her lean in with brows furrowed in focus reading the contents softly to herself. “Boa Red Panda…” Down three paragraphs she read still confused until she got to the triplet sisters ‘attacked’ by the creatures they had discovered in their family purchasing a remote island parting her lips. Reading how they were just barely managed to a hospital in time to see the female cubs being born booming the population by twenty until their maturation then it would explode hundreds of times over.

Looking up at you she listened as you said, “I needed to be pregnant, and they love morphers,”

“But,”

She leaned in and you continued, “Barty had a one night stand, there is a baby. We just have to juggle a bit.”

“Where’s she at?”

“One of our safe houses out of sight till after, then she agreed to have her memory wiped about it.”

“And you’re, okay with this?”

Sighing again you turned the page showing pictures of the adorable cubs making her grin and lean in at their picture bouncing around in the pen they were placed in at a week old. “They’re breed is dying. Some of the raids left them to three females,” parting her lips, “Newt gathered as many up as he can to hide and if I can have 15 that could be thousands more, morpher born females have more daughters than natural born ones. I can’t just fake a pregnancy, and there are spells, but only dark ones to have a baby of my own this quickly. It’s only a matter of weeks and I could do so much good from it.”

“How, how did you even get pregnant? Turkey baster?”

With a chuckle you said, “They have a pouch they release a bundle of, it’s like a ball of gooey, sperm really, and they rub it on your stomach and it soaks in, and they rub on your stomach adding oils to help conception along, had some teas and snacks came home had a nap and boom, belly.”

“Wow, have you told Molly? She seemed in a frenzy earlier.”

You nodded, “Now I just have to find a way to tell the Pears without their demanding to come out for it all.”

“Well, if we have to we could explode some pipes to keep them away when you, how is the birth-,”

“C section. Newt’s got a doctor for it, can’t go to Mungo’s, and we might have to handle the other birth here to keep it hushed.”

“Well you certainly can’t keep it secret forever.”

You shook your head and took another sip of your drink calling a sheet of paper and pen from your room perking up your owl on his perch along the wall before his flight over to the table to wait for it to be passed over to him. Wetting your lips you eyed the paper and simply wrote that a series of false negatives had come out to be wrong and now you were indeed confirmed to be pregnant. There was no need for them to rush out here and that you were being well cared for and after the birth in a matter of weeks they could drop by to meet their Great Great Grandchild. All tailed with a request of keeping it hushed until then.

It was all ridiculous and still you blew the ink dry and folded the letter you sealed shut and passed over to the owl mumbling, “Enjoy the flight fluffball.” In a gleeful screech it claimed the letter and flew out through a window you opened feeling Hermione’s hand on yours, “This can only end well.”

Softly she chuckled in your weak giggle just relenting to the situation knowing that it certainly would take something drastic to keep them quiet and at a distance until the birth.

…

Anxiously at the breakfast table in your focus on the book in your hand Barty was on his way to buttering his toast a second time making Snape grab his wrist and shake his head drawing his eyes from you back to his toast he took a large bite of. Lowering your glass from a sip of your juice you asked Barty, “What do you think of Ophelia?”

His brows popped up and he pushed his mouthful to the side mumbling from behind his raised hand, “I thought we decided on Emmeline.”

Your eyes rose and you said, “For a middle name.”

His nod broke and he glanced at your father in his saying, “Mmm, lovely name. One of the moons of Uranus,” with a smirk he asked, “Expecting a rebel are we?”

You smirked back, “New beginnings call for rebels.”

“Touche,” he replied raising his coffee for a sip.

Barty’s lips parted after he swallowed, “Oh, for the star name, Ophelia is lovely. Were you thinking of a second middle name as well?”

Releasing your lip from a nip you said, “Any names you want?”

“Could we use Rose too?” You nodded and he said, “Always wanted a little Rose. Emmeline Ophelia Rose Tennant-Black.” You couldn’t help but grin at his using your mother’s middle name.

Regulus, “Hyphenating?”

Barty nodded, “I would love to pay tribute to her mother’s line as well as mine.”

Sirius, “I for one cannot wait to meet our little girl.”

Lowering the book of possible names you set it aside to finish your drink smoothing a hand over the long sweater dress resting over your rounded belly over your black leggings. Down your back a long braid swayed in your stand signaling the pop up Barty and Snape made with Regulus right behind you. Draco, already digging for his coat in the closet by the door passed you yours with a grin and took his place at your side for the walk to the enchanted doorway that opened for you outside the hidden Manor Riddle dwelled in. Already inside Lucius and Narcissa arrived and helped to calm Bellatrix from the barrage of questions she had planned to corner you with.

Down the long drive you strolled taking Barty’s hand to calm his deep inhales and exhales stirring a grin from him in your glance up at him, “You’ll be fine.”

He nodded and leaned in to steal a quick kiss on your knuckles on the hand locked with his he lowered to cradle with his free hand, “I know. Nothing will happen. Nothing will happen.”

Keeping his gaze forward he missed your calming grin you gave Draco, who grinned back and inhaled himself and stepped back to let you and Barty through the door two Death Eaters opened when you took the first step to them. Up and in you went to the same path ending at those same wing back chairs in front of a roaring fireplace with Riddle wide eyed on his feet looking you over with a spreading grin. “My Queen, you are radiant.”

“Thank you.” You replied in a weak chuckle and took the seat his hand motioned you to that Barty eased into at your side.

Shifting his gaze to Draco his hand outstretched and Draco’s folded inside it for the back of it to be patted in his smirk, “Well done in cornering Dumbledore. If not for that Phoenix you would have had him. Excellent job in leading our group inside the school, is the pathway still open?”

Draco quickly replied, “There was a bit of a mishap with one of the doors, won’t close the seal now.”

Riddle grinned saying, “No matter, there are other ways.” He looked to you, “I trust you have a way of removing the cabinet to erase suspicion?”

You nodded, “Of course, it will be dealt with.”

Widening his grin before his wand was drawn and he eased Draco’s sleeve up and in a momentary flinch the Dark Mark was burned then vanished into his forearm, “Well earned. I have big plans for the Ministry and your places in Hogwarts would prove in handy for me.” For all her tries to speak Bellatrix was ordered back to bed and get off her swollen ankles he asked if you had troubles with and smiled hearing you didn’t get to stay on your feet long enough for them to swell with how the men circled around you. Hours he asked you your impressions on the Minister from your various sources and shared his own plans for Hogwarts.

“Now that Dumbledore is out of the picture Severus will take his place as Headmaster, and you my Queen, shall be leading those young shapeable minds in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Much more than being limited to the untested Potions years, with a much greater audience. And, I have several ideas to raise this reputation of yours, carefully laid plans, there are certain members of ours requiring to be, contained for a time to be released later.�� In a sweep of the room he said, “Normally I would lead Fenrir to this, however he seems to have taken into the wind again leaving his wolf companions less than accountable. Until his return of course they can prove useful in these new plans, and quite useful in breaking any doubts this new Minister could possibly have for you.” Leaning closer he smiled at you saying, “You will be untouchable, and no one will see you coming.”

With a smirk you replied, “They never do.” Between your close thighs Barty’s thumb stroked against your fingers in an unnoticed sign of pride knowing fully your plans and history supporting he had no clue what was coming his way.

Pt 65

[lagrin9a]

Draugr 01 - Stories and Monsters

“Raelah! Tell us a story!” The child begged the bronze haired lady as she gathered her belongings to head home.

“Yeah!” Another one bounced. “Story! Story! Story!”

“Alright. Pipe down now. One more story, but then I have to head out for real,” Raelah rolled her eyes, but with a genuine smile. 

“Yaaaay!” The group of children cheered, dancing and dashing from here to there.

“Alright. Settle, settle.” The girl took a seat on her wooden stool as the small humans gathered by her feet. The smallest girl merrily perched on her lap. “This is my final tale for the day. I call this one… Taran and the Fair Maiden.”

“Ooooo,” all the little girls gasped in sheer excitement.

“Bleh! A love story,” the oldest boy gawked as another gagged with him.

“Oh, but this is more than a love story,” Raelah reasoned. “This is yet another daring adventure of Taran of Caer Dallben, and his quest to rescue Princess Eilonwy.”

The girls all leaned in with a glimmer in their eyes, as the same boy huffed, but had the same shine of curiosity as the other children.

“After Taran defeated the evil Horned King and saved Prydain, he returned the Princess Eilonwy to the Queen Angharad, who was ever so grateful to have their daughter back. She asked how they could ever repay him. The Princess suggested that they should make him her champion, as she knew it was Taran’s dream to become a great warrior. So, Queen Angharad agreed, and set Taran under the watchful eye of her own champion, Geraint, so that he too may become strong enough to serve her daughter. 

“However, two weeks into his training, horrific news reached his ears that the Princess had been stolen by the treacherous Magg, a man who betrayed his kingdom to serve Annuvin during the war.”

       “Of course, she gets stolen again!” the boy from before groaned in a joking manner, elbowing another boy. “Leave it to the pretty little princess to be a dummy in distress.”

Raelah glared at the boy, along with the other children, tapping her foot and placing a hand on her hip. “May I go on?”

The boy shrugged. “Knock yourself out.”

        “…Anyway,” Raelah continued navigating back to her tale. “Both armies of Caer Colur and Dinas Rhidant scoured the Isle of Mona for days, only to return empty handed. However, Taran did not want to give up. He and his friends, the Talented Fflewddur Fflam, and the Brave and Noble Gurgi, set forth on their quest to find Eilonwy.

“They followed trail and mark alike, finding small details that were out of place. They tried thinking of where she would and wouldn’t go, and what she would do if she were kidnapped. At long last, they found a clue. She had dropped her golden bauble in a cavern. But as they went to retrieve her bauble, a giant and monstrous cat emerged, blocking their path and growling ferociously.

“ ‘I cannot let you pass,’ the cat growled. ‘For my master has promised to grant me sleep, and I have not slept for nearly three years!’

“It was then that Fflewddur had a brilliant idea. He strummed and played a sweet melody upon his harp, which hushed and lulled the giant cat into a peaceful slumber. They proceeded deeper into the cavern, following Eilonwy’s trail, and as they did, the cavern got darker and darker until they couldn’t see a thing. But lo, there was a dim light, which they journeyed towards. They found it was a small flame on a small candle. They wanted to take it and use it to guide their way. 

       “But as they touched it, a boisterous yell thundered through, ‘Who’s taking my candle?’

       “It was a giant! Blocking their way, so tall he touched the roof of the cavern.

        “ ‘We are trying to find our lost friend,’ the brave Gurgi answered. ‘Did you see her come through here?’

       “ ‘Yes,’ the angry giant bellowed. ‘But I cannot allow you to pass, for my master has promised to give me a bright light to lead me out of this cave.’

      “ ‘We have a light right here,’ Gurgi answered, pulling out the bauble. He thought of all of his friends that had become his family, and the bauble shone brighter than the sun. It showed the exit, and the giant and the three friends left the cavern together. On the other side of the cavern was a rickety tower, with no doors and no stairs, just a window.

     “ ‘How will we ever get up there?’ Taran thought.

     “ ‘I will help you, since you helped me,’ said the giant. And the giant lifted the trio up to the window where they entered the tower.

     “They found the Princess, but she was under the spell of an evil witch. She wanted her beauty and youth, but Taran wasn’t going to let that happen. Taran battled the witch and her evil powers. But with his Sword of Light, he was able to deflect the witch’s magic, which turned her into stone. With the witch gone, Eilonwy was free of the spell, but the tower began to collapse. With the giant’s help, they escaped before it collapsed, but blocking their way to safety was the treacherous Magg.

      “ ‘I’m not letting you escape so easily,’ he cackled. 

     “But just then, the giant cat appeared from the brush. ‘You promised me sleep, but this bard helped me, so I will help them.’ And the cat chased Magg, and to this day, no one knows where he went. Some say the cat ate him. Others say Magg is lurking in the shadows, ready to spirit away his next victim…”

     At the most inopportune moment, a shriek was heard from one of the children sitting at the edge of their little group circle. This spooked the other children who panicked, “Oh no! It’s Magg! He’s going to steal us! I don’t want to die!”

     “Kids, kids! Calm down. There is no Magg here. It’s just a story,” Raelah tried to calm the frightened children. The one who started the chain reaction ran up to Raelah’s skirts and clung on to her tightly, shivering and whimpering. “What is it? What’s wrong?” Raelah asked, kneeling down to the child’s level.

     “I saw a monster,” the girl blubbered. “He was tall, and had sharp teeth, and had horns.”

     The girl pressed her face into Raelah’s chest, who proceeded to stroke her head. She peered into the dark alleyway over the girl’s shoulder, to see the silhouette of the assailant hiding just around the corner. Llew.

     After she got the children to settle down, and allowed them to sit even closer, she finished her story. The cat, named Llyan, has followed Fflewddur ever since, purring at the sound of his harp’s music. Gurgi has remained brave and noble, and took the giant with him to Caer Dallben. Taran promised to return to Eilonwy even stronger to protect her, and Eilonwy promised to wait for that day. With the conclusion easing the minds of the children, their parents eventually came to whisk them away, so that the ‘Potato Girl’ can return to her farm. They all bade their farewells and wished her a safe journey. She’d be back next week with more stories. With the children finally departed, Raelah proceeded to gather her goods, her trades, and whatever silver she made, and loaded the cart to finally head home. As she picked up the handles and dragged her load, she sensed the presence from earlier scurrying through the shadows, probably trying to get out so that she wouldn’t suspect a thing. 

      Upon reaching the top of the hill and entering the tree line, she dropped her load with a loud clunk. She turned to a suspicious tree and groaned, “Llew, instead of pretending you’re not there, why don’t you come out and actually help me since you’re a big strong man?”

     After three seconds of no response from the suspicious tree, Raelah tapped her foot, acknowledged the fading sunlight to note the passage of time, and then sighed. “Ugh. My arms are so sore from lugging this stuff to and from town. If only I had some one kind enough, and caring enough, to help a little gal like me.”

      “… Fine!” A voice finally grumbled from behind the tree. “You caught me red-handed.”

     The figure that emerged from the shadows was a pale, discolored creature with hollow eyes and a half decayed mouth, exposing a permanent snarl on his right side. He stood at a height of six feet, but the horns that reached the sky in thorny branches added another six inches. Much like that child, any one would have ran in terror at this abomination. But not Raelah. This was her Llew, and she was annoyed that he disobeyed the one rule.

     “What has Dad told you about leaving the farm?” Raelah scolded him.

      The horrific creature ducked his head down, like a puppy being scolded. “Never ever never never Never ever ever ever, leave the farm or go into town.”

     “And what did you do?”

    “Left the farm and went into town?” Llew squeaked sheepishly.

    “Exactly! So what do you have to say for yourself?”

    “I’m sorry? That was very dangerous, and I should never do that again?”

    “Why?”

    “Because they could raid our farm with torches and pitchforks?”

   “Exactly!”

   “… Are you mad?” Llew cringed.

   Raelah let out a deep sigh. “Yes, and no. I’m mad because you worried me sick when that kid screamed. I thought you’d get caught for sure, and they’d take you away from us. But I’m glad they didn’t find you.”

   Llew groaned. “I’m sorry. You were away for so long, and I got worried. I tried to stay hidden. But then you told another Taran of Caer Dallben story, and I guess I let my guard down.”

   Raelah gave the young man a warm smile. “Well, it’s in the past now, and it’s done and over with. So, I forgive you.”

   Llew relaxed, and even though half of his face was fixed in a toothy snarl, the other half could show a smile on those lips.

   Raelah huffed and slumped down to the handles of her cart. “Now seriously, do you mind picking up this cart and carrying it? My arms are tired from holding kids all day.”

   Llew’s smile dropped into alertness. “Oh! Right!” He proceeded to grab the handles and carried the cart while Raelah could finally rest her arms. “Those kids really can’t get enough of you, can they?”

   “Heh! Can’t get enough of my stories.”

   “I mean, you tell them well. And besides, who doesn’t want to hear about The Adventures of Taran of Caer Dallben?”

   “Yeah. Speaking of telling stories, you better come up with one to explain to Dad where you went.”

   Llew nearly dropped the cart, seizing the breath in his throat. He hadn’t even thought of Ronan.

   “Come on, slow-polk!” Raelah called a few paces ahead. “We only have an hour left of light.”

    “Easy for you to say. I’m lugging this cart full of who knows what?” Llew bantered, catching up.

    “Oh you know. Left over potatoes. Some lamb for me to cook stew tonight. A few jars of honey. The usual stuff,” Raelah listed.

   “So, Llew. Where were you? You weren’t in the loft or anywhere on property,” Ronan interrogated over a hot dinner of stew and fresh bread.

    Llew choked back on his drink mid-swallow. So now he decides to ask. He was hoping he wouldn’t have to spin something up.

   Raelah watched his features in anticipation, as though to say, Well?

    Llew set down his drink and scrounged his thoughts together. “I was… going out for a stroll by the river! I was so exhausted from working, so took a dip in the river. It was so cold, but relaxing.”

    Raelah kept her gaze fixed to her food, so that her father wouldn’t suspect anything based off her features.

   Ronan furrowed his brow at the young man. “You are a horrible liar. Where did you really go?”

   Llew bit his malformed lip and glanced at Raelah, who continued to divert her gaze.

    “… You went into town again. Didn’t you?” Ronan stated in an accusatory tone.

   “… just the edge…”

   “What have I – we both told you about going into town? You could’ve been seen, and put all three of us in danger,” Ronan lectured.

    “… I’m sorry…” Llew uttered.

    “No. You’re not. This is the fifth time you’ve done this. If you meant it, you wouldn’t do it,” Ronan condemned.

    “I said I’m sorry,” Llew’s voice picked up. His hands balled into fists under the table, tight enough to the point his talons pricked his skin.

    Raelah switched her glance to Llew’s ridged posture. She silently gasped, knowing where this was going. Before she could speak up, her father continued his steam forward.

“No. Do you realize what you’re actually putting us through when you do that? It’s risky enough just keeping you here as a helping hand. If anyone were to see you, our home would be burnt to the ground. Raelah and I would be accused of witchcraft. And you would get your head lobbed off. Do you really want to risk that happening just so you can carelessly wander around?”

Llew’s vision flooded red as he slammed his fists down onto the table and burst from his chair. Raelah and Ronan recoiled.

“I didn’t ask my mom to dump me here!”

Llew bolted from the table and up to the loft.

“Llew,” Ronan called after him. As Llew disappeared into the darkness, Ronan followed him and called up the ladder. “Llew!”

Ronan sighed. “Shit.”

Raelah wiped her hands with the rag next to her. “Thanks, Dad. I just lost my appetite.”

The house remained in an uncomfortable silence as Raelah and Ronan cleaned up the table and put things away. Even when they settled for bed, they remained silent, save for the farmer bidding his daughter goodnight and thanking her for all she did. The girl didn’t respond. She rested on her side, fuming from her father’s actions of the evening. A remorseful Ronan turned over and let himself drift into an uneasy sleep.

All the while, Llew remained awake, still festering over his raw emotion. His vision returned to normal after an hour, from a field of red, to a grey monochromatic world. All the same, he ruminated on the pain of Ronan’s accusation. What made it worse was, the man was right. If Llew really did care, he wouldn’t put their lives at risk so often. While he and Ronan butted heads, he still loved his family and couldn’t imagine putting them in harm’s way. The wound peeled away from the flame of rage, to the cold weight of sorrow.

    I didn’t ask to be like this. I didn’t ask mom to dump me here. I can’t do anything to save them.

    Llew shuddered as he curled into his bedding. I want to protect them.

    Protect.

Llew remembered. The story. The ending of the tale of Taran and the Fair Maiden. He swore that he would return to her stronger so that he may protect the woman he loved. Llew sat upright.

    That’s it. I need to become strong so that I can protect them.

Llew crept down the ladder, careful not to make a sound as to disturb his sleeping family. He snuck to the front door where he slipped out and placed the door shut. He made his way to the tool shed. There would be plenty of things in this arsenal. 

    A hammer!... Too small. An axe? Maybe. Oh! Put the hammer and axe in each hand! That should work! He went out to the haystack that he would practice on, then recoiled. He looked down at his short weapons. Maybe if he had to do a cheap shot, and these were the only two he could grab at the moment. Back to the shed! Then, he saw it. Ah ha! A scythe. It had a long handle, good range for combat. Perfect!

    Llew stood before the haystack with his perfect weapon.

    “Prepare to have you’re head chopped off, haystack!” Llew declared. He charged, gripping the staff part of the scythe, and swung as though to chop off an opponent’s head. The straw went up in a flurry. The young man nodded, feeling stronger already.

     “Llew? When have you ever seen a scythe used like that?” A voice from behind him chastised.

    Llew snapped around. “Raelah! You’re awake?”

    A sleepy Raelah garbed in her nightgown raised a brow at him. “You are, too. Couldn’t sleep after you stormed off like that.”

    Llew slumped. “Sorry. I did get carried away.”

    “That’s alright. Dad needs a better method of scolding you, instead of beating a dead horse,” Raelah shrugged. “So, what are you doing up? Playing some kid’s version of how they think a Cyhyraeth actually reaps souls?”

    “N-no,” Llew averted his gaze. “I’m just trying to practice defending myself with a scythe. You know? In case someone were to attack our farm with torches and pitchforks.”

    Raelah smirked. “Alright. But that’s not how you use a scythe to fight.”

    Llew tilted his head.

    Raelah paced over to his side. “Can I see it?” she extended her hand out. Llew handed the scythe over. Raelah held the scythe as though she were reaping crops, by the handles on the side of the staff. “So this is typically how a scythe is used for gathering crops. You grab the handles and the curved blade cuts down what you need.”

     Llew nodded. “Yeah. But I need it for -.”

     “Don’t interrupt,” Raelah scolded. Llew sucked his lips together. Raelah pointed to the tip of the scythes blade. “Now in combat, this is the most effective part of this tool, so…” Raelah held the tool upright, and proceeded to unscrew and adjust the blade, so that it pointed straight up along the staff. After tightening the screw, she gripped the staff part and tapped the butt of the scythe against the ground. “… You make it into a spear.”

     As she handed it over, Llew gave her a skeptical look.

     “Dad taught me,” she answered.

     “Oh,” Llew nodded, satisfied at the resolve.

     “But, if you don’t have time to adjust the scythe and want something that is readily available and just as effective, let me introduce you to…” Raelah stuck up her index finger signing him to wait. She paced over to the back of the tool shed and grabbed a pitchfork. “The Pitchfork! Now with four points to inflict extra damage.”

     She passed Llew the pitchfork and relinquished the scythe from his grasp. Llew examined it and smiled. “Yes. Yes. This will do just fine.”

     “Alright, Llew. It’s not the Sword of Light. It’s just a pitchfork,” Raelah joked. Llew laughed along with her. After putting away the tools and cleaning up the mess he made with the haystack, the pair went back into the house, for a good night’s rest.

     The next day, the family went about their business as usual. Raelah tended to the home, washing and cleaning, cooking and preparing meals. Whatever most women did, while the men labored in the fields. While Ronan harvested and inspected the ready crops, Llew set forth to plow the other field and ready it for the next round of crops. After toiling for hours, Raelah called the men in for lunch, and after a hearty meal with light hearted conversation, they returned to the fields. About late afternoon, Llew finished his tasks and had plenty of time to kill. Now to relax.

     He announced to Ronan that he was going to his usual spot by the river, to which Ronan granted.

     “Just be back before dusk, and don’t be seen” Ronan called out.

     “Got it!” Llew waved.

      Not very deep into the forest, was a remote river, flowing with gentle currents and offering a serene image. Llew removed his boots, rolled up the ends of his pants, and hung his feet into the chilled water. He rested on a boulder and sighed in relief. He didn’t sweat, but the heat still bothered him. His skin crisped under the day’s heat, and feeling the chill of the river combined with the shade of the trees calmed and rejuvenated his flesh. He laid back on the boulder, relaxing his gaze on the sky above. Occasionally, light shadows drifted across and nearly blended into the white pallet. Sometimes, he spotted a bird soaring impossibly high. He closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh scent of nature surrounding him. Birds sang melodies to one another. Squirrels bickered and chattered over where their acorns were hiding. And men conspired in gruff voices… wait.

      Llew bolted upright. His hearing was superior to most people, that much was true. And he could hear at great distances. But these men sounded too close for comfort. He pulled his feet from the river and shoved his boots back on. As he stood up, and turned in the direction of home, he froze. He just had a nagging feeling. Who were they? Why were they so close, and so far from the main road? He looked in the direction of where the voices were coming from.

    You’re in a remote part of the forest, Llew. Just, don’t be seen.

    One peek, and then his curiosity would be satisfied.

    Llew followed in the direction of the distant voices.

[punkscowardschampions]

Lux & Dash

Lux: Good pilgrim, praytell Lux: is your hair just like that or do you have a routine Lux: I must know Dash: what's yours naturally trying to hang like? I'll hit you with what's outta this world 🐤 Lux: full samara, senpai Lux: turn off the tube QUICK 🙄 Dash: 🤣 bummer Dash: 🥥 oil is far out on all hair types even 🔪🔪🔪 Dash: aloe vera will make her 💪 Dash: lemme 🤔🤔.... Dash: do you fuck with 🐣?? Lux 🙇 down at your feet, oh lord is the most high place! 🙌 Lux: the chooks here lay too many for us non-strict-vegans to get through Lux: save my hair AND cut down on our foodwaste? Lux: I will be ♕ and you will be ♚ Dash: 2 🥄 🥑 oil, same of 🥥 & aloe vera gel Dash: 2 raw 🥚 Dash: heat it & leave that baby on for time Dash: 30 mins ++++ Dash: 🚿 with whoever Lux: the CP of my hair is gonna rival Rapunzels Lux: 💃💃💃 Lux: I promise to never ever clock you with a 🍳 Dash: 💛👼👑 Dash: you'd be choice with her 🌺🌺🌺  look Lux: 😘 plant 🌱 for every 🌺 and compliment you gimme then we can talk about april showers coming earlier than anticipated☔️ Dash: right on Lux: Is your full name Dashiell/ can I call you that anyway Lux: because its really fitting and if you care to know I shall tell you for why Dash: it's not but if you're down I can be down too Lux: SO; here was my thought 🚄 climb aboard and ride the rails with me for a sec here Lux: Dash ➼ Dashiell ➼ meaning page boy ➼ page boy = ring bearer ➼ ring bearers of the One Ring ➼ Samwise Gamgee = you AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT Dash: 🤯🤯👍 Lux: I know, allow me to scoop up the remainder your 🧠 from the ceiling and put it into a handwoven jute tote for you to take home Lux: I been knew you love food as much as him, its like 1845-49 up in here after you've come around 🥔💀 Dash: tight gestures like those 👐 gotta keep you in the groove here 🥰 Dash: trust you to pick up on a royal appetite Lux: I'm the holy daughter returned, boy Lux: only eating manna from heaven, though if anyone in this place could make a 😋 cake like back home, I'd let them eat it Dash: set to call you that when I fall in with my 🎺 but do you go by anything shorter on top? Lux: Hebrews 13:2!!! Lux: so that explains where you come from Lux: more in a cloud of smoke than holy light but they could only get so many details dead on in the good book Lux: I'm Lux, of course, X if the mood takes you but I can't make it any easier for you Dash: here to make us 👀 the light, yeah? righteous 👼 Lux: The mission of making my parents proud of me again is not one I am currently embarked upon but service to God and all his creations was always their jam Lux: supposedly Lux: but if you're here to get me to renounce my sex, along with the devil and all his works (duh), oh angelic messenger, I still have to decline Dash: aere perennius is the vibe I'm picking up from you, Lux Dash: it'd be a heavy mission Lux: You owe the world a forest for that one because words like that evoke so many cardinal sins within me Dash: do you know about 🎋? Lux: Tell me Dash: it's a tanabata tree, for wishes Dash: they set the bamboo afloat on the river or on 🔥 after the festival Lux: We must participate here Lux: and one day I will go to where the festival is meant to be and you must come because you introduced me to the magic Dash: we can go to Japan, Sao Paolo or LA, they all have 'em Lux: Of course Lux: I seem to have traveled in the wrong direction Lux: to the wrong coast and onwards Dash: at least you ain't separated from your lover by a 🌌 Dash: that's the legend that goes with the festival Lux: oh Lux: how heartbreakingly beautiful Dash: but they are allowed to meet once a year on the 7th day of the 7th lunar month Dash: it's not a total downer Lux: so young Dashiell believes it is better to taste heaven but the once than to never know it at all Lux: good Lux: I like you Dash: I try & get my kicks tasting as much as I can as often as I can Dash: though yeah, once over never Lux: can't take on the 🌌 Lux: though perhaps you can, with a name like a superhero Dash: no sweat 💪 Dash: if I don't ✂ my hair off 😏 Lux: 😱 Lux: I do have weak ankles! Lux: you avoid barbers and I'll avoid heels that are taller than... Lux: five Lux: no six inches Dash: 👌👌 Dash: if you avoid any heel I'll be able to reach you way out though Dash: no 🛹 jumps 💫 Lux: YET Lux: until you remember where you parked your chariot of fire, you give me reason to kick off my heels, and I'll happily do it Dash: 💃? Lux: Both in worn levis, both in torn T-shirts Lux: of course, that's the only way Dash: there's a tanabata song, I could sing it for you Dash: the translation at least Lux: 😻🙏 Dash: it'll be a blast Lux: 🚀🌠 Dash: have you 👀🎸? Dash: mine's MIA Lux: you can borrow my girl Lux: for one song Dash: I won't hog her like a flake, digging the trust too much Lux: you can abuse my trust just go easy on Dolores Lux: she's a folksy kinda gal, if you kick it punk rock she'll 😳😩 Dash: she'll stay 🍒💖 I'm about a gentle touch Dash: what kind are you? the words are the festival's but I don't know the 🎶 Dash: I'll make it yours, like Lux: as angelic as you look Lux: a sinner can only but hope not Lux: how about you sing it for me but play it like its yours Dash: cool with me Lux: then the song can be ours Dash: I think you're unreal Dash: the most Lux: Oh, because I am Lux: and you are perfect because you know that's a compliment Dash: this fly by of yours is gonna last some time, yeah? Lux: though not compelled by God or a power higher than my own Lux: this is where I'm meant to be Dash: me too Lux: I know Lux: I divined you out of 🌟✨☀️🌌 Dash: we planting that forest to grow together or on opposite sides? Lux: one 🌎 one 💓 Dash: roots are gonna get tangled if you keep laying down your 💓 next to mine Lux: I can grow anywhere Lux: you don't need to worry about me Dash: 🌻 Dash: you're gonna make this place better, I feel it Lux: you have family here? Lux: in the commune Dash: yeah Lux: do you like it here Dash: I love it Lux: I do too Lux: its Lux: loving Dash: when did you come through? have you met every 🐤 & 🐈? cos you should meet everyone Dash: feel all the love Lux: I've been in Dublin about... a month, two Lux: feels like forever Lux: but here I'm a total 🍒 Lux: I met Hazel completely by fate at a women's health drop-in she was running a few weeks ago, told her my story and here I am Dash: farm tour 1st 🍀 tour 2nd Lux: Coming Lux: 🎸 in tow Dash: safe Lux: and sound Lux: I'm just tryna catch a mirror moment Lux: not enough, if I had any complaints but 🤫 Dash: which room's yours? I'll make space to hang another one near Dash: then the 🌙 Lux: we'll end the tour there Lux: my contribution Dash: now that's sound Lux: Do you know about me? Dash: what about you? Lux: That I don't have girl parts Lux: I won't be accused of that kind of trickery Dash: I won't accuse you of any Lux: ☺ Dash: you set the pace, I'm in it Lux: You're keeping up spectacularly Lux: now, where does my tour start? Dash: orchard Lux: 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍇🍈🍒🍑🥭 Dash: there's the best 🍏🍎 tree, easy to climb whatever shoes you're wearing Dash: you can see the whole farm from the top Lux: [Show up honey] Dash: [😍 at her we all know] Lux: [dressed hyper-femme as always and way more dressy than most here we know, doing a curtsey like 🤭] Dash: [holds out a 🍎 like he's the 🐍 & she's Eve, looking cute and tempting] Lux: [obviously taking it and taking a sassy bite] Dash: [into it obviously hand holding through this orchard tour for Winnie's sake] Lux: [gonna climb this tree] Dash: [do it kids] Lux: [gonna have to help her even though she's left the heels behind] Dash: [thankfully he's not that much of a dick that he won't, imagine just like byeeee] Lux: [😂 no one needs anyone falling out of a tree rn] Dash: [we aren't killing either of you off so just enjoy the view] Lux: ['it looks so big from up here, when you're in it, it feels...close'] Dash: ['it's big but the fam's bigger' gives her a look like you'll see, genuinely buzzing cos does love it here] Lux: [the biggest smile 'why don't you live here?'] Dash: ['my mum & dad don't, & that's their biggest drag, they ain't hip but they ain't real hassle' casually don't mention that Cosmo exists okay then] Lux: [nods 'everyone should get as much family as they can'] Dash: ['you can meet 'em too, it's cool'] Lux: [excited puppy look like really?!] Dash: ['my mum used to be a rad skater & now she sits around bench racing at her own bone yard, it's a good space to hang loose'] Lux: [just listening like no way! 'what about your dad?'] Dash: ['he's more easily bugged, we don't always vibe, but shit stays chill'] Lux: ['yeah but what did he used to be? before he got old and boring too'] Dash: ['he played football' with a shrug cos so uninterested we know] Lux: ['ooh, was he famous?'] Dash: ['not really'] Lux: ['bummer'] Dash: ['you wanna be famous?'] Lux: [is thinking like hmm 'I don't NOT want it but its not my number one all-time dream...not even top ten'] Dash: ['what is?'] Lux: [puts her index fingers to the corners of his mouth to make him smile] Dash: [laughs] Lux: ['you?'] Dash: ['I'm thinking we should start a band' shout out to Ali your lowkey grandma] Lux: [a look like um yes, how have you not and putting three fingers up to let him know its made the list] Dash: [starts to climb down like come on, so much to see] Lux: ['don't ditch me!' and running after him] Dash: [takes her all around the vegetable patches next, introducing her to any peeps they come across] Lux: [living laughing loving honestly we can skip] Dash: [imagine all the cute animals they would have, I hope none of them die in the fire I'll cry] Lux: [lmao animals usually bolt when fire so they should be fine, unless they then get hit by cars or some shit] Dash: [I'm saying they are all A okay bitch] Dash: [post tour skip] Dash: gotta hit home Dash: later? Lux: Undoubtedly 😊 Dash: we'll jam Dash: 🤔 band names Lux: I'll throw it out there Lux: I wonder if anyone can drum drum Lux: not just drum circle Lux: I'll ask that too Dash: I'm jazzed Lux: 🎺 Dash: you play the harp 👼? Lux: ☺😋💕 Lux: If only Lux: there are bass' and banjos and plenty of acoustics Lux: I'll go thrifting and see if I can find one Dash: wait for me Lux: we should see how many wild instruments we can find Lux: one for everyone Dash: your 🧠⚙️ is far out Lux: but not far enough you can't reach me Dash: 🌌 can't stop me, yeah? Lux: nope Lux: not as long as you got that hair Dash: [selfie like it's still there] Lux: Thank God Lux: don't need to 😢 today Dash: you don't need to cry any day baby Lux: Keep me smiling Dash: I've got you Dash: we all have Lux: 💕 Lux: I really thought I knew family and community before this, you know Lux: but I was wrong then and this is better Dash: right on Lux: You're adorable Dash: I've got 👀 for you too Lux: I know Lux: your 👀 are like Lux: coffee Dash: 🧠⚙💖 Dash: yours are like jumping into a river Dash: they get bluer the deeper you go Lux: oh Lux: I think I want you back here now Lux: where did you go again Dash: 🛹🗲 Dash: my parents place Dash: you wanna meet me there? Lux: I'm not in the mood to meet your parents right this second, forgive me Lux: but by the time I've finished dinner here and 🚲 over Lux: sounds good Dash: idk if they're there cos I'm not yet Lux: so we can be alone alone Lux: that'd be novel Dash: yeah Dash: it feels like so much empty space Dash: for the number of bodies who live in it Lux: do you feel lonely there Dash: nah, it's got a good feel Dash: I grew up in it Lux: That's a feel you can't buy Dash: I'll show you my 👶📸 Dash: they're wild Lux: you musta been so cute Lux: your face is still 👶 now Dash: no ✂ then either Lux: so mowgli Dash: oh no, is this a trippy topic for you? Dash: I didn't think Lux: it's okay, I like hearing about happy kids Lux: its a sin to be envious of or covet other people's happiness Dash: Lux Lux: 😊? Dash: I don't think I believe in sin Dash: so if you wanna harsh on my good vibes, you know, I won't be 😡 Lux: Oh, sin is very real, its just whether you believe you'll be punished for the sins that are written about Lux: I appreciate you but I've got nothing to be 😡 about either Lux: 🤞 Dash: you can hit me with a shut up any time Dash: I'll still dig you Lux: I enjoy our conversations Dash: yeah? Lux: absolutely Lux: you're a beautiful 🐺 boy Dash: you're the most beautiful 🦊 Lux: never stone cold Dash: nah, the hottest Lux: I feel it Dash: 👍 it's the mood you gotta stay in Lux: with you around, that shouldn't be a problem Dash: we'll keep vibing Lux: did you like it Dash: you want me to say what I know you could tell Dash: I'll write you a 🎶 Lux: First hit for the band? Lux: I'll be famous after-all Dash: I've been listening Dash: I understand what you want Lux: and you're gonna give it to me Dash: that's my action for sure Lux: roll 20 please Dash: come be alone with me Lux: dash dash dash Lux: you're so pretty and fun and cool and I want you again Dash: [sends her the deets to where his house is] Lux: so far Lux: I must like you huh 😏 Dash: yeah it's a drag where I live Dash: but it's new heights that you like me Dash: 🚀💕 Lux: why wouldn't I? Dash: idk Dash: do you know about me? Lux: I know enough to like you Lux: what do you think would make me unlike you Lux: let's compare Dash: it's not all laid back the shit that other girls say Lux: you're a 💔 Dash: I'm not out here making a game of it like that Dash: but it's happened for real Lux: Oh dear Dashiell Lux: my heart was broken long before I got here Lux: and I've had to severe and untangle roots so much deeper than yours could ever be Lux: I told you, there's no need to worry about me, you can't hurt me Dash: that's fucked up Lux: Perhaps Dash: can I make it any better? Lux: no Lux: but that's okay Lux: now is better, there's no need to fix what's been Dash: I wasn't being plastic before, you're home now Lux: I feel it Lux: I have no choice but to give up my old definition but I'm less scared and 😢 at the prospect of the redefinition now, forced though it was Dash: it'll be okay Dash: we'll make it happen that it's only that Dash: or like better Lux: you're not a bad person Lux: I can tell Dash: if I'm someone you like, I'm cool with it Lux: good Lux: I need people right now, you know Dash: everyone at the farm, they'll be what you need Dash: they are for me Lux: what do you need them for? Dash: a blast Dash: my other fam want me to change some shit I do Lux: 🚀👌 Lux: I get that Lux: is it stuff you can't change or don't wanna Dash: idk if I recognise the difference Lux: sounds like a can't, then Dash: stepping into new 👟 feels like a bad scene Dash: I fuck with the ones I've worn in Lux: That's up to you Lux: I like new shoes Lux: maybe they're just worried your feet are getting all scrunched outta place Dash: yours are groovy though Dash: not handed down Dash: they fit you Lux: I had to steal 'em though Lux: and when my dad found 'em they sent me away Dash: a 🦊 like I said Lux: have you seen the fox and the hound? Dash: nah Dash: it's disney yeah? Lux: Yep Lux: I'm gonna make you watch it Dash: I'm about netflix & chill Lux: We'll chill first Lux: its real sad Lux: 😭 Dash: I be trying to chill with you nonstop though Dash: how bad do you want me to 👀 at things other than you Lux: 🤭 Lux: maybe your cinematic education can wait Lux: if we're truly to make the most of alone alone time Dash: lay it on me that I'm an ugly crier another day Dash: we're making beautiful things happen Lux: you're Lux: just like Lux: seraphic Dash: around you, I gotta be Lux: nu-uh Lux: I can't tell Lux: I fell out of God's favour like a long time ago Dash: you can tell Dash: you're still 👼 Dash: the fallen ones were the most beautiful anyway, yeah? Dash: god's a jealous 🐈 Lux: All angels are beautifulc Lux: and genderless actually, like God Lux: beyond our limited understanding, better Dash: cool Lux: for them Lux: its self-idolatry if you want it for yourself Lux: 🚫 Dash: if I want you for myself, what sin is that? Lux: you actually wanna know? 'cos I've always thought this particular subset of sins sounds unintentionally hot Dash: I'm listening intently Lux: peccata clamantia Lux: The sins that cry to Heaven for Vengeance 🤤 Lux: they're the ones that God will deliver his justice upon, lots of people only know about the seven deadly Lux: but they're the least serious, actually Dash: shit Lux: guess that's why it feels so good Lux: shall we? Dash: 🌌 & god trying to stop us but I'm 💪 Lux: you want me Dash: yeah Lux: then you can have me Dash: show up Lux: I am Lux: ⏲ Dash: right now though Lux: if only my bike had wings Dash: that can be your festival wish Dash: mine too cos I've waited fucked up amounts of time for you Lux: 💡 Lux: your mind, boy Lux: though patience is evidently not your virtue, I'm not mad about it Lux: at all Dash: idc about virtues if you're a sin Lux: you're making me all pink Dash: it's a beautiful colour for you Lux: you're the loveliest 🐺 I've ever known Dash: I wanna be Lux: you are baby Dash: you're like a song I can't get out of my head Dash: & it's the most Dash: I'm so connected to every word Lux: You make me feel really...high but it that warm, soft focus way where there's no bad thoughts or feelings at all, no doubt or regret or shame creeping in, just the good washing over you again and again, like that split-second after you cum but Lux: prolonged Lux: its crazy, you're crazy Dash: we can live in it Lux: lets Dash: I'm in Lux: 🎡🎢🎠 Dash: 🎪🤹 Lux: 🤡 Dash: 🦁🐯 Lux: 🐘 Dash: 🍿 Lux: 🥜 Dash: 🐿️ Lux: 😱 Lux: how could you Mr Squirell Dash: he's gotta eat Lux: He could've just asked Dash: he don't know you like that Dash: thought you'd say nah Dash: I tried to persuade him he wasn't right on & you're 👍 but I must not 🗨🐿 Lux: 😂 Lux: he's more than likely from my homeland, I'll speak to him Lux: can't understand your accent Dash: gabh mo leithscéal Lux: 🤗 what did you say?! Dash: pardon me Dash: is 🗨🍀 on your list? Lux: I've always wanted to Lux: no one at my father's church really spoke it Lux: or would teach me if they did Lux: will you? Dash: my mum taught me Dash: hers never spoke it either Dash: your turn to bring me an 🍎 Dash: but yeah Lux: 😣 damn Lux: someone else here might, I've heard loads of languages flying about Dash: eu também sei português Dash: also from that side of the fam Lux: I 👀 that Dash: Arlo & his brother & sisters are my cousins Lux: Ahh Lux: that's cool Lux: they're so cute Dash: there's many more but they don't live at the farm Dash: you have to catch 'em when they fly by Lux: I'll be sure to do that Lux: do they all have lots of kids, how are there so many Lux: no offense Dash: started with 11 Dash: & most of 'em had 👶s Lux: ELEVEN Lux: 🤔💡 Lux: are you mormons? Dash: 🌼 children ☮ Dash: it was a big-ish fam before that though 👵 had 8 Dash: & she's no hippie Lux: why are you an only-child? Dash: I'm not Dash: I've got an older brother Lux: oh, me too! Lux: he's 13 years older Lux: I was a miracle mistake baby Lux: where's yours Dash: at ⚽ training I think Dash: that's his bag Lux: oh he's not 👴 Lux: you didn't mention him before Dash: he's 18 months + on me Dash: but we're in different 🌌 Lux: I feel you Lux: it musta been nice when you were kids though Lux: I loved when there were kids in the congregation but people always moved on, from God or physically Dash: nah, it's been hassle from the jump Dash: he's 🏆🥇💪 Dash: I'm 💫🚀👀 Lux: you don't like him huh Dash: he's a drag Dash: we're usually jiving 🥊 there's no ☮ & 💓 Dash: messes with my equilibrium Lux: You gotta protect yourself Lux: I get it Dash: I knew you would Lux: 'course Lux: its the same with my brother and my mom Lux: they still 💓 me but they can't see me Dash: do you 💓 'em? Lux: oh of course Lux: they're my family Dash: do you wish you could see 'em? Lux: I wish I still lived with them Lux: but I understand why I can't Dash: do you get to 🗨? Lux: no Dash: can't you? if your dad didn't find out? Lux: No Lux: not unless I'm going to make efforts, make changes Lux: and I can't and that's two eternal sins Lux: at least Lux: could make a case for 3 Lux: so they have to turn away, you see Lux: they all love me but there's nothing they can do until I do Dash: I'm sorry Dash: that everything's so heavy for you Lux: you don't need to be sorry Lux: not your transgressions Dash: but I don't want you to change Dash: & idc if it's a sin Lux: you're sweet Lux: they just want to save me from hell Dash: we're gonna have to live forever Dash: to save you Lux: We better find the philosopher's stone Lux: or the fountain of youth Dash: the 🐿 will help Dash: he digs you now Lux: he's a wizard Lux: knew it 😏 Dash: most animals have magic Lux: true facts Dash: 🦊s who are unreal 👼s especially Lux: you're such a flirt Lux: 😋 Dash: yeah 😏 Dash: that's my magic 😍💖 Lux: I can't disagree Dash: 💭😘 Lux: you can dream 'til I get there Dash: I'm 👀 for your 🚲 Lux: I'm meant to be up on the balcony, not you Lux: love some role reversal Dash: yo don't be on the rebound, Romeo 💔 Lux: awh you jealous Dash: 🤣 Dash: of someone you forget at the start of the play as soon as you 🕰 me? nah baby Dash: but it's salty to the other 💘 Lux: It saves her life Lux: she's fine, honestly, thriving Dash: okay then yeah, I am jealous Dash: of her thrive Lux: poor boy Dash: it's no bummer, like Dash: she ain't gonna be immortal, that's me & you Dash: our fam Lux: there's only so much magic to go around Dash: however much there is, we gotta use it right Lux: 🎺 that's holy decree Dash: & royal 👑 Lux: okay sweet prince Lux: 🤭 Dash: if I go solo from the band, there's an outta sight name Lux: you could do so many covers 💜 Dash: it'd be groovy Dash: but I ain't leaving the group Lux: not before its started Lux: have some loyalty, boy Dash: yo not ever Lux: we gonna do a blood oath Dash: use your hair as a 🔪 before the 🥑 & 🥥 hits Dash: or the ✂ I don't Lux: 😂 you're horrible Lux: and its far too limp for that Dash: nah your hair is 💣 Lux: ☺ Lux: really Dash: yeah Lux: it grew quite fast Dash: 🔮✨ Lux: I'm gonna grow it as long as I can Dash: there might be a better recipe Dash: I'll 🗨 to every 🐤 on the farm Lux: I wish I had curls like them too Lux: most of them Lux: alas Dash: you can borrow mine Lux: you're the bestest friend in the whole 🌌 Dash: 🤞🤝👐 Lux: let down your long hair then Lux: I think I've arrived Dash: [let her in and give her a house tour boy] Lux: [we clearly need Cosmo to come back like Dash did in that convo jussayin] Dash: [payback tbh so yeah we do] Lux: [she'd just be chatting up a storm, awks] Dash: [casually steer her to your room as fast as you can like] Lux: [just being like wanna come watch fox and the hound lmao] Dash: [she's so cute bye] Lux: [at least Cosmo won't be rude to you, even if he is like umm] Dash: [just thinks she's high probably] Lux: [most likely] Dash: [rude but fair] Lux: [when is your brother not as far as you're concerned] Dash: [exactly dr phil] Lux: [anything else we wanna though?] Dash: [we know what's up I think we can post it]