#for some reason i feel like some people attach more stigma to people who try to solve these cases using whatever crude methodology

[presidenttyler]

not that there is anything very high-brow about looking into hundred year old murder cases, but the fact that like every single one of them nowadays is just fodder for ghost hunt shows is really annoying. like you know there are no ghosts in that house right. if you could talk to them someone would have by now ok. the villisca axe murder family is not waiting with bated breath to finally share their secrets with Super Scary Paranormal Ghost Adventurers: Reloaded

[beyonsatan]

My next astrology post was gonna be about the chart ruler in astrology but I just saw a tik tok about pisces that received the ugliest laugh from me and so decided that i will be talking about pisces and after closing the casket on a few stereotypes and western astrologers who have absolutely no idea what they're talking about yet charge for readings, I'm gonna hurt some feelings haha 😁...

So let's create a list of the misleading stereotypes that modern astrology have successfully managed to attach to pisces and then i'm going to debunk a few or all in order and I'm going to do this in the most polite way :)

• Ditzy (you might've heard "pisces is debilitated in mercury so it makes sense why pisces aren't the smartest or are 'easily fooled'" WRONGGGGG! In fact, ancient astrologers believed that pisces was in its detriment while in mercury because you can't think properly when you're in love. Venus the planet of love feels the strongest in Pisces, venus is pisces dignified ruler, pisces is the only sign that's dignified in both benefics (Venus, Jupiter) so if you asked me what sign i think is the most in love with love i would say with confidence pisces. This is why often when you hear a pisces talking about something or someone they love they stumble over their words. Contradictory to popular belief, pisces are very intuitive and can spot people trying to take advantage of their giving nature. A person who is intuitive and knows when something is up is not dumb, being both intuitive and gullible is already a contradiction. Saying that a jupiter (planet of wisdom) ruled sign is dumb does not fit the bill or even make sense for that matter. Mercury In sagittarius is debilitated as well but not because sagittarius is stupid, gullible or can't reason but because sagittarius is the jokester and is all about exposing the truth and their delivery is usually harsh which can rub people the wrong way. It's all about the delivery with them, there can be instances of blurting out things at the wrong time, things that would be considered offensive, that doesn't necessarily translate to them being dumb, they're just blunt lol. A good example of this would be nicki minaj

• escapists (the only true one I have actually heard so far but I also think that the stigma around escapism needs be brought to a stop. Pisces is dignified In both benefics so they do not prefer to indulge in things that are meant to discourage them like fear, anger, self doubt and turmoil so in order to keep themselves on their feet they distract themselves with things that are meant to inspire or otherwise entertain them to keep them going. This claim that they get consumed by their fantasies, can't face reality or take decisive action is a myth and stems from this idea that certain aspirations or wish fulfillments are out of reach and too unrealistic to be put into plan. so while everyone else is doing only what's within their reach thinking things can't get any better for them, pisces is dreaming big and this is where people can often confuse delusion with staying optimistic. How wise would it be to call someone "stupid" or "an escapist" because they're choosing to see the bright side of a situation or not succumbing to negative emotions? Not very wise at all right? Out of every zodiac sign I would argue that pisces is the most likely to recover from difficult times Because the benefics always keep them in good spirit

• drug addicts (i just wanna say that if you've ever gotten a paid reading from an astrologer who has said up out their mouth that "pisces is the most suspectible to drug and alcohol abuse," you have been scammed and should request your money back, these astrologers either think that pisces is ruled by neptune or they think having pisces placements is the same as having 12th house placements, ps: it is NOT the same and they CERTAINLY do not make you more artsy, dreamy and whatever other terms ppl use to deem pisces.) the 12th house is where you can see some unhealthy habits and addictions, that is true but once again pisces does not rule over the 12th house nor does pisces get its meaning from this house and anyone that told you otherwise lied 💞

• poor self esteem (I'm not even about to dignify this imbecilic talking point with a lengthy response 💀 if pisces was a sign with poor self esteem, the sign wouldn't be comfortable in the planet that literally rules over our values and self esteem, 'venus' lol)

• compulsively lie ( one more attribute that came from neptune. I'm not gonna say pisces is perfect but alot of these stereotypes aren't really aligning with jupiterian and Venusian energy) you wouldn't lie to a person that you truly love (venus) and you wouldn't be able to easily fool someone who is wise(Jupiter) does that make better sense to yall??) Why do you think it makes sense for a zodiac sign that's notorious for their contempt of lies and deceit(Scorpio) to be compatible with a sign that modern astrology famously dubs as "liars" that doesn't make sense either does it? Of course not, cause it's not true lmao, every sign is capable of lying.

Summary: Once you register through your mind that there is no connection between pisces and neptune in astrology, everything that you've learned about pisces through western astrology and their antics automatically vanishes or becomes null and void. There is (and ima highlight 'no' in bold just so yall know how serious i am) NO reason to believe that pisces is gullible, stupid, a liar or any of the things I mentioned in the bulletpoints. The infantalizing of pisces in astrology MUST stop and I will do everything my power to make sure it does and that this knowledge reaches everyone, *mic drop*

that's all, hope thiz helps xx

[schizodiaries]

Thank you for all the responses on the renaming schizophrenia post. You all brought up excellent points and I don’t disagree with anyone’s take. Most if not all people who responded (including myself) were in favor of keeping the name as it is, and it’s easy to understand why. Here are just a few reasons people expressed in the comments of that post:

Renaming the disorder doesn’t change the core issue, which is the stigma surrounding the symptoms of schizophrenia. Renaming feels like running away from the core issue instead of confronting it.

People are going to be sanist regardless of what the name is, due to their preconceived notions of the illness.

Schizophrenia is not a bad word. Changing it would feel like trying to distance ourselves from the negative connotation the general public has given to schizophrenia. We should instead be focusing on removing that negative connotation.

Educating people and speaking up about our experiences with schizophrenia will do far more to destigmatize it than renaming it.

It will take a very long time for people to get accustomed to a new name, and changing it may just cause confusion. (Another example of this would be DID, a lot of older folks still refer to it as ‘multiple personality disorder’.)

I want to play devil’s advocate for a moment, and share some reasons for being in favor of changing the name. Just to offer a different perspective in case anyone hasn’t considered some of these.

The term “schizophrenia” is a bit of a misnomer, as it means “split mind.” Some people find this an inaccurate way to define the disorder and would like a better name.

The name has actually already been changed once before. Prior to Eugene Bleuler coining the term “schizophrenia,” the disorder was known as “dementia praecox,” meaning “early dementia.” This change was a little more than a century ago, but it shows that over time people will adjust to a new name.

In Japan, their word for schizophrenia was changed in 2005 to what translates to “disintegration disorder.” As a result of the name change, patients were more likely to seek treatment, as they were not ashamed of the name of their diagnosis. (x)

Regardless of which side of the coin you fall on, I think we can all agree that the general public still has a lot to learn about schizophrenia. No matter what the name is, there is a huge stigma attached to the disorder due to decades of poor representation and inaccurate portrayals in the media. Schizophrenia isn’t a bad word, but because of the stigma, people see it as bad. We can either drop the name along with the stigma and start anew, or continue advocating for the acceptance of what we have now. And as a stubborn person who doesn’t like giving into societal pressures, I know which one I’d choose.

[brokenbluebouquet]

2/xx, Charles I on horseback 1630s, royal collections trust

CW: historical ableism and medical abuse

This is partially inspired by a post by James-vi-Stan-blog regarding Charles and disability. Thus one is also loooong as there’s a lot to unpack to apologies in advance, gentle readers.

What did Charles I actually look like? More to the point, how visibly disabled was he?

This is actually a harder question to answer than you’d think. Charles is generally agreed to have been very short as an adult man, with estimates from 5’6” to 4’7” even with head still attached. His legs were short compared to his body and bowed. You can sort of see this in the above picture.

He also famously had some sort of speech issue, traditionally a stutter but possibly slurred speech from weakened facial muscles. This has often been an explanation for his refusal to explain himself and his secrecy. Like his father he considered playing to the crowds demeaning, hated the stigmatising stares directed at his physical body, and was fearful of assassins.

Charles has confused the situation considerably by trying to erase his own impairments and differences under a thick cloak of idealised portraits, elaborate court etiquette that prevented anyone getting too close in public, and the rare heavily stage managed public appearance. To say nothing of the Van Dyck portraits that have been heavily face tuned, an equestrian statue commissioned by one of his ministers to flatter him, showed him absurdly as 6 feet tall - it still stands in London today.

However, even in his own lifetime, parliamentarian propaganda painted him as the second coming of Richard III (who we now know had severe scoliosis and was also quite short), or as a weak legged, tongue tied fool. The block at his execution was deliberately low to force him to lie down as opposed to kneeling to humiliate him. But what lies between these extremes?

Rickets as a knock on from a tongue tie is often put forward as the main explanation for his restricted growth and atypical proportions as an adult, but other explanations have been proposed including cerebral palsy, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, or some sort of hereditary neuromuscular disorder.

As a child and young man Charles was subjected to a number of proposed interventions including having the ligament under tongue cut (thankfully James was talked out if this), leg braces (reinforced boots were used instead), and talking with pebbles in the mouth (that ones from Plutarch and I think George vi tried it too).

The party line was that he grew out of it and that he was athletic as an adult. This isn’t totally impossible but seems to rely on the idea you can’t be both disabled and physically active. I personally believe that these were lifelong issues and Charles simply was good at finding accomodations and shortcuts to get around problems. The cane he is often shown with in portraits was probably to help him stand up and maintain balance. The stigma and bigotry he would have faced was a bigger issue as Charles himself seems to have internalised a lot of these beliefs about himself and people like him.

James found Charles to be the child he most resembled and his feelings about this were complicated to say the least. Although James often defended Charles against insults and abuse and tried to protect him to the extent of infantilising him instead of preparing him to be king; it’s also hard to avoid the fact that seeing himself reflected to this extent in his son and later heir was deeply disconcerting for James.

For example in 1616(?), in an attempt to complement James, a Latin pangeryc (praise poem) referred to Charles as a miniature James - James was far from impressed and in fact took it as an insult.

This is one of the (many) reasons why James turned his younger lovers into surrogate sons - they were not political threats like Henry, and did not make him uncomfortable like Charles.

Indeed the whole family seem to have found him an embarrassment. This really should not come as a surprise given how obsessed with image and status they were. Anna and Elizabeth just seemed to have ignored him, and Henry seems to have had a particular contempt for him, something Charles seems to have found particularly wounding.

Indeed, Elizabeth only really tried to connect with Charles when she needed his help after the “getting exiled after picking a fight with the emperor” debacle; which tells you a lot. For some time she fancied the idea of herself as the next monarch after her father - this is how little she thought of him.

The below picture is of the second to last king of Italy Victor Emmanuel III, another unloved child, failed king, and survivor of rickets - he is is the closest analogy to what I would imagine Charles to look like in terms of physical proportions as an adult. VE3 is the small ne on the right, Albert of Belgium is on the left.

Well Yeah. It’s not hard to imagine why Charles would not have inspired confidence in his elites, why he was generally regarded as sexually incompetent, or why he resorted to elaborate tricks and contrivances to hide himself away. He was unable through no fault of his own, able to physically embody what his contemporaries expected of a king; he also spent most of his life with his communication needs unacknowledged and unmet.

I personally think one of the reasons so many assumed George had the upper hand in their relationship was due to the vast differences in size between the two men. It’s also IMO one of the reasons why so many choose to believe Henrietta was an adulteress - a lot of people then and now could not imagine Charles as being able to inspire sexual passion due to his disabilities.

We need to start acknowledging the realities of Charles disabilities but also start combating and unpacking the ableist bigotries and stigma that have shaped our perception of him as well. Charles’s disabilities and childhood chronic illness (I refuse to use the word sickly) are often treated by historians as a failing of character and an outward marker of his personal inadequacy and political ineptitude, usually with little or no indication of what’s being implied about PwDs in public life and politics. Given how few openly disabled politicians and leaders (and indeed professional historians) we have this can’t just be coincidence.

[horizon-verizon]

I know that most Green stans are christofascists that use HOTD as a vessel to channel their misogynistic and reactionary propaganda, but just because something is a social problem in-universe doesn’t mean you have to roleplay being the kind of backward bigot that believes it. You’re not always supposed to agree with societal norms in fiction because they’re displayed to make a point of how dreadful and oppressive they are. There’s a reason people who read The Scarlet Letter don’t go around calling Hester Prynne a slut, saying that adultery is a monstrous sin, and supporting the reverend, the puritan colony and Hester’s husband. Because the author explicitly condemn the misogyny, shaming, public humiliation, and social stigma Hester faces.

How do ASOIAF fans feel when a man born in 1804 is more progressive than they are ????

Yup. To bring back Daemon as the groomer/pedo debate (cuz I know many green stans of either book or show will point out that how this character has stans despite his grooming/pedoness):

In the show, Rhaenyra is 19 when she first kisses Daemon as Daemon appears to spend way less time with her (what is required for grooming) than he does in the book

in the book, Daemon gets away with what would be grooming and pedophilic wrongs accusations, and charges today (for some fans) bc of those same patriarchal, classist privileges that many green stans excuse Otto and any of Alicent's sons for having, enjoying since birth, and actively, willingly, and consciously using to their advantage. No, 30 yr olds should not have sexual access to literal teens of any level (early, mid, late....18-19 yrs olds are dicy for me), but if you are going to hate book!Daemon for his interactions with Rhaenyra, you cannot exonerate Aegon II for the 12 yr old or Otto for pimping out his 15 yr old. As for general exploitation of women, Aemond, again, made Alys his war prize/personal sexual slave-- doesn't matter her older age.

I remember ozymalek talking about the phenomenon of people buying too much into the problematic elements of the world they are reading the story, and then using them to exculpate their favs of ALL wrongs and flaws.

Also, agreed especially on the social norms being shown (not told) in exactly why and how those norms need to become abnorms.

I've had an ask saying that "we can't blame Alicent for hating bastards" and I was like 🤨. No, I absolutely can, just as I dislike Catelyn. I can understand why shed be upset with the notion that her husband cheated and refuses to name the other woman, as well as forcing her to raise her kids with his love child by said mysterious woman (using modern terms bc Im personalizing), but I feel differently for Catelyn than I do Alicent.

Alicent was never really about starting a war specifically to protect her kids such as gaining power through her kids (even though she also did love them, that's not up for debate). Rhaenyra's children posed little threat to Alicent or her kids and Jon Snow became a loyal and close sibling to the others (treating people well and like they are family when you live in a world where blood family can be literally what helps you to survive can do wonders).

Catelyn woke up one day and found out her husband, who she learned to love over the years, was unfaithful. It changed how she saw Ned, herself, and tainted her whole future perspective of people around her. For Catelyn it was always personal and there is a level of trauma attached. For Alicent, nah.

Both dislike bastards, but for slightly different reasons with both getting much of their dislike for bastards from their Faith religion and family including children born not to a person's spouse. Yet neither are justified in their hatred towards the respective bastards in their life because such an element in this world is itself unfair and discriminatory....

*EDIT* Part of Catelyn's self-justification is that Jon could steal away or endanger her own kids in trying to become lord of Winterfell. Alicent may have cited that Rhaenyra would kill her and her kids in the green council, but Rhaenyra was not the sort to do so without provocation (and usurpation is a provocation, of which Alicent engineered herself with no one threatening her or her kids as soon as her first kid was born). Alicent has made it her mission to socially isolate Rhaenyra, and Catelyn did something similar with Jon, but Catelyn has never plotted against Jon. Catelyn also didn't calculatedly seek to isolate Jon for the sake of political power she would use through her kids either. She just hates him because he reminds her of when her world was ruined and had to be redone, of betrayal. Buoyed by her faith.

So I feel way more sympathetic towards Catelyn than I do Alicent, even with the agrument of the Dance being unreliable and those saying that Alicent could very well be like the show!Alicent--just trying to protect her kids and manipulated by Otto into installing her son, using her "wits".

Problems with those arguments is that show!Alicent is half of book!Alicent with the: relationship-w/-Rhaenyra change and age change. Alicent was older than Rhaenyra and, reading between the lines and how after her reaction to Viserys keeping Rhaenyra as heir despite Aegon's birth, Alicent absolutely wanted power for powers sake, primarily. NOT for her son's safety. She felt entitled to having her son be one king because he was a boy and she felt entitled to become mother to the King ( or if it was an actual title in Westeros, Queen Mother) and become number one woman aside from her own daughter, who herself would also just be under her and her house's influence. She felt entitled because that was tradition and as much power given to women, usually, when they reached what was made the "top" for them. I would go to say that Alicent felt that she earned it.

This aspect of her shouldn't have been taken from her. Added onto, yes. But not reduced or removed altogether. Kept for her father. And certainly not motivated by a "love" for a girl that realistically she would have never cared about above her own search for patriarchally-assured power in a world where women are barred from the real highest positions of power.

I imagine/speculate that book!Alicent made a quiet compromise with herself as many girls and women do on how to both gain power and not alert men around them by trying for too much--by being Queen Consort/mother to the King, the thing fashioned for noblewomen to be the "best". Trouble is that, I think, she also felt she had to believe it, buy into it 100%. Catelyn is similar.

This entire context is undermined by the concept of her, somehow, trying to save Rhaenyra's life after going after her for years or be her best friend or being her best friend for years without these two actually having any sort of base (at least shown and proven to the audience). It was never about her kids or being close to a woman, because book!Alicent gave up on other women a long time ago. These sorts of women tend to do so.

And to be honest, it makes so much more sense to me, that a woman raised in such a conservative world and one of the most conservative places in such a "world" (Oldtown, where the Faith flourishes and has the most influence), would be so greedy for power. Made to suppress much and sacrifice or never dream of anything for herself, it makes sense why this person/a woman in this context could and did reach for the highest positions of power while convincing herself that she deserved it before an actual woman can come to her own autonomous power (Rhaenyra) all along.

I guess this is where Catelyn has another similarity to Alicent. Along with the romance angle, she also feels that, after years of marriage and real love she didn't deserve to be betrayed and after having had actual power in her household when her father gave her that ability (within the context of women, again, not having the same opportunities as men and knowing that since childhood). Her husband was meant to be hers to have a family with and to have had intimacy with. She also didn't really pay much mind to other women if it can get her support for her son (the young girl who is set to marry her brother and her simple thoughts of the girl having good child bearing hips is a nuanced event).

At the same time, admittedly, Catelyn is still less hateful to me since:

A) I can see how she thinks with the POVs style of narrator, so I'm immersed in her pain and it's easier to sympathize whereas with Alicent I'm going off way more on recorded actions and some personal experience (as a woman)

B) Catelyn isn't going against a woman who herself would become something better for other women--a Queen Regnant

C) Catelyn feels much less like a person concerned with making sure everything stays traditional and actually (after Jon's gone to the Wall) doesn't think apart from her family, which is more appealing to me personally.

D) I simply prefer Rhaenyra's troubling-status quo character for its troubling of the status quo.

So I do have some prejudice against Alicent, but I don't think all of it is unfounded or unjustified. *END OF EDIT*

[kuromi-hoemie]

That post made me so sad I started crying… cthonic is not trying to be mean why does everything think it’s trying to be mean. They go on to talk about how it’s like this for everything, even caffeine. and how it’s different for everyone but addiction and physical dependance are two different things and should be talked about. And in future posts they clarify other stuff. I know you don’t care but It’s intent wasn’t to be mean. God Idk even know why I’m texting this.

my point was regular usage as a choice =/= addiction, and physical dependence and a psychological one is still under addiction.

it's very protestant of society to position one's self above others and baby them and treat them like they don't have good judgement or they're some project to fix instead of like, understanding the person, meeting them where they're at, understanding their relationship with [drug]

are they using to avoid dealing with their problems? are they using just because it's fun or nice? do you know why they use? do you know anything about them at all in this context or does your understanding of this person start and end with how often you use yourself, if at all?

like lol how would it feel if someone who jogs in the mornings walked into your house unsolicited, took your coffee away and was like let's try not using coffee this week uwu <3 when you'd just be puzzled because it's not causing any problems and is enjoyable or even helpful.

my tags aren't even directed at OP it's just how people are!! and people get very judgy and condescending about it!! then you get dumb benign things you do while not sober put on a You Have An Addiction list.

coffee alcohol cigarettes weed Whatever, instead of asking why - well why not? if something is adding to ur time and you're still doing all the stuff you need to do and it's going well, why is the instinctive response to look at superficial stuff instead of getting into the reasoning someone has behind it, if that's even needed at all! usage isn't inherently bad, and addiction could be talked about more idk humanely, realistically, commonly if we didn't attach all the social stigma and paternalism to it lol.

and then that's not even getting to actually interacting with and observing these people in social environments and seeing the way double standards play out for what is and isn't acceptable to be addicted to. so ╮⁠(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠╭ idk sorry you felt that way but it's about way more than OPs intention, this is a genuine social issue

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Before we start this: I’m Nonbinary, female presenting and into girls. I call myself a lesbian cause it’s less words. I come from this perspective when I discuss things.

Secondly: I do make references to fics I have read. I try to keep them vague but I’m a grown up and can admit you might see a fic you know. Or maybe you wrote it. I’m not going to spread it around.

Thirdly: some of this is technical help and writing advice. You don’t need to follow it but it’s helpful.

Alright, so we begin.

Things That Diminish/Damage How Good Your Fic is

- Whenever people are writing curse words and instead of writing them they go like f*ck or whatver? That instantly downgrades the quality. That one fic I mentioned that was 10/10 but became a 5.5/10? Yeah. That’s why. It instantly takes some one out of the mindset and is just jarring. I know in todays culture and with TikTok censoring works like fuck or shit is the norm. However it is terrible writing. Don’t do it, it’s awful. If you do not feel comfortable enough to write them I can think of several ways to get around it. (He said a word that his mother would wash his mouth out with soap for./The amount of cursing could make a sailor blush.) If you still don’t feel comfy… get out of the fandom. No seriously. If you do not feel comfy with writing cursing or work around that aren’t censorship, drop your writing and leave. They are quite literally just words with social stigma attached.

-Similar, if you don’t feel comfortable writing slurs or discuss illegal activities. This might be more controversial but for me, I find that people who want to have stuff like homophobia or transphobia or heavy discrimination and don’t use the words… it falls flat for me. It just does. Yes those words are disgusting and writing them may make you feel the need to shower. However, it comes to again the fact censorship and blocking out words is just… dumb. It’s really dumb and looks ugly in a story. Again I was reading an amazing fic, who censored a slur. Look I get being uncomfy again, but there are work around rather then doing that. (He continued his sentence with a word that made the room go silent and breaths stop.) As well you cheapen the experience your characters go through. How is a reader supposed to feel when you won’t go through with your writing?

-To long to get to the plot. This is really common with AU fics, such as fics where Izuku has a Quirk. People really want to expand on the backstory for this change, and it's understandable. What's not is when it takes 10+ chapters of his childhood. I have lost count of how many fics I just drop because it's chapter 10, and we are still age eight for Izuku. It's to damn long. If you feel that it's needed, then make it it's own fic. Don't combine it with the canon changes, becuase I promise you: a lot of us readers want to focus on the changes to the plot we know.

There are exceptions to the above. They're RARE though, and in my experience really what they do is expand upon All Might's training. Think about books, few if any would go into detail on the main character's backstory. At most, you're looking at perhaps 3 chapters before the plot-plot starts. Or at least the introduction to it.

-To long fics. I'm not talking word count. What I'm talking is a fic 100+ chapters without stopping. It's daunting, and honestly it feels... hmm... I think the word best used here is it feels unprepared. I also honestly think people are scared of splitting up their stories for some reason, which makes no sense. Series are beloved for a reason! Having them all in one story just makes most of us mentally check out of the fic, feeling exhausted, rather then invested.

-Stutters where it;s "l-l-like t-th-this'. You just ruined your own fic. I have no patience to read the damn thing now. It looks terrible, it's hard to read and honestly? Half the time it's with a character you just want to woobify (Izuku is the primary target of this.) I actually want them PUNCHED seeing this.

Trying to seem edgy/cool/woke

-I am so freaking sick of how many fics take 'Quirkless Discrimination' and ramp it up to RIDICULOUS levels. Like oh my god, my brain melts every time I read a fic where Izuku gets denied everything, gets emancipated at fourteen, has his parents beat him and make him sleep on the floor, the list goes on. Yes, horrific child abuse happens. Horrific tales of discrimination happens. But you're going to look me in the eyes and tell me that none of this isn't just you trying to be edgy? This is just... torture porn. A level of discrimination against Izuku is understandable. One thing I've found annoying about the source material is how we get told of the discrimination but recieve no actual evidence or proof. But again: some of ya'll go way to far to be edgy.

-Similarly, the Commission fics. Yes, they're corrupt. Yes they probably cover up shady shit. Yes, they raised Hawks as a weapon. But again, the level of drama ya'll include makes my eyes bleed. 'They run orphanages to create villains', 'they force heroes to work overtime', 'they would try and murder Izuku if he went as a Quirkless hero'. It again approaches the level of: to bleak, stopped caring. I think a fic would be way more interesting if a Quirkless Izuku gets roped into a Young Heroes program and blackmailed because the Commission wants to control him.

-Disclaimer again: I'm NB. But one thing that really annoys me is the amount of neopronouns introduced in a fic... only for them to never be used. And honestly, some are plain dumb. I am honestly curious if people try to use 'book/bookself/booked' as actual pronouns because I'll be honest: that just... doesn't work. But yet I have seen it included in fics. And again: no one ends up using them. Pronouns are tricky, I won't deny it. I use they/them, but accept she because I've been raised as a woman and thus experience the world as it as well. Some people use multiple but default to one. It's all valid. But it's REALLY obvious that ya'll are just trying to be woke or whatever when there's six pronouns like 'book' or 'vamp' or 'pup' but NONE are ever used. (I also have complicated feelings reguarding pup thanks to the comments I've heard comparing NB people to animals but that's just me)

-I said it before, and I'll admit there are actual exceptions but like... dude, the amount of times I get exhausted with a fic because everyone is trans is high. Again, exceptions are around, but the majority I find tend to have the vibes of 'I am so cool and edgy by having everyone trans even if nothing changes in the fic and everyone acts the exact same'. That is NOT making people trans, that's just wanting a pat on the back.

-Said it before... any fic where Bakugou is 'a sad baby uwu because Izuku took his advice' is an instant no because you just gave him man pain. "I'll be a hero for you," and then he's fucking canon? Nah, that's him deciding Izuku is a rallying cry, not him actually seeing his own faults.

This is just transphobic/homophobic/sexist

-Any gay fic where you make the female love interest a bitch. (I like to have actual onesided feelings and a nasty fall out but like... wow. Just fucking WOW. More so when you mix in shit like 'Uraraka is a gold digger after Bakugou so she'll try to break up BakuDeku uwu'. Dude if you want her to be a gold digger, Yaoyorozu is RIGHT THERE)

-I said this before but I notice that a lot of harem fics tend to have a bisexual Izuku but an all female harem. Look, yes preferences exist in real life. But fanfic is NOT REAL LIFE. You doing that is just a giant ass sign you're not okay with Izuku dating a guy even if you make him bisexual, which is pretty homophobic to me, no matter how many gay ships you slip in (which all get maybe like a second of screen time compared to the heterosexual ships). More so when you go for 1B girls. You have to basically make them OCs to have it work. No hate to OC/Canon ships, but like.... dude. I don't care if you didn't mean it like that, it is pretty fucking homophobic, because it isn't a real life person choosing it. It's you writing it.

-Said it before, but the amount of people writing NB Izuku fics which changes nothing but pronouns for Izuku and then going on about how making Izuku a girl isn't the same and it's way to much of a difference... transphobia much? You LITERALLY genderbent Izuku.

-Plus, again: I see way more transgirl Izuku being straight up fetishization where she dates all of the class 1A girls (dude we can tell what you're doing) compared to transguy Izuku. (It exists but it's rarer). A lot of NB fics (with exceptions again) as well give me sexist vibes by having it pretty apparent they consider it no different then canon Izuku but act as if him being a girl is to far. It's just sexism and transphobia then.

-Having one of the characters in a mlm pairing be super feminine. Do these people exist? Yes. But wow. Ya'll are leaning hard into heteronormativity dudes.

-Making the canon arospec character actually interested in romance while making the canonly heterosexual character aro/ace to explain why she's so cruel and so focused on a boy character. Hey, guess what that is? AROPHOBIA.

-Fics where Izuku is only friends with guys despite canonly being friends with girls, and we basically sideline all the female characters.

Bad Genderbends (With a focus on Male to Female)

-The majority of my fics/ideas are genderbends. Mostly cis!Female!Izuku cause I have fun exploring her life but like... as soon as I read a fic where nothing changes. At all, and everything is exactly the same as it is for canon Izuku? Out. That's an actually terrible fic, I am out, gone. Bye-bye. PEOPLE ARE NOT SOCIALIZED THE SAME. NO I DON'T CARE YOU ARE ALL ABOUT EQUALITY. Girls are not treated the same as guys.

-Completely abandoning the canon personality. Yeah, I know, the above, but just because socialization changes people doesn't mean you can completely change a character. Izuku as Izumi can still be a giant nerd who is super into working out, mutters up a storm and loves to watch hero fights. She can also love pink, gossip about boys and giggle over magazines. You can combine them. Again, I think this is related to sexism in a way due to the amount of people who seem unable to just... see that while the world does treat girls and guys different, they aren't in fact different?

-The fics where the assholes are right. You're just homophobic. Somewhat the same as the top, when people just turn a character into a girl without acknowledging the differences or the fact somethings would be the same to pair up characters they normally don't cause it's gay.

These Tropes are Overdone or Suck

-Bakugou faces consequences but it's a slap on the wrist, and he changes NOTHING about himself, but oh everything is okay and he dates Izuku/Ochako/Whoever.

-Izuku takes Bakugou's advice but it's blamed solely on All Might and Bakugou's actions are ignored and they become best friends/start dating! Or he takes Bakugou's advice and gets a Quirk, so everything is okay!

-Abusive Mitsuki is why Bakugou how he is. I only read 1 fic where this was actually treated like it should be. 'Cool motive, still murder'. Just because you have a shitty upbringing doesn't mean you can get away with assault and abuse.

-All Might bashing where they take his character and put it in a blender while claiming things are canon. No, I am serious. I have said someone say it's canon All Might overworked Izuku on purpose. Meanwhile canonly, Izuku decided to ignore his plan to work on his own time. All Might did agree to adjust the plan but like, holy shit. Or the ones where they act like it's canon he despises all Quirkless people/mutation Quirked people. Meanwhile he's the uncle to Melissa and has nothing but good things to say about heroes with mutations. There is ONE type of All Might being an Idiot I like, and it's where he's just a very stubborn old man set in his ways who doesn't see what he's doing is wrong. That makes sense. Not All Might murdering Izuku for knowing about OFA. He's a shit teacher who doesn't know when things are to far but wow. Nice character assassination there.

-Iida bashing cause he's a rule following nerd who hit Izuku while Ochako, who left Izuku alone in a mall so he got attacked by a villain and gets jealous of other girls, is an innocent pure angel. No seriously- both of these people are literally the same. It's just that people hate Iida for some reason? Meanwhile he's a dork who gets excited about beef stew, loves his family enough to kill for them, is the guy willing to help his friend come back to UA and while he did hit Izuku, it was in a situation where Iida was emotional and worried for his friend after he was permanently injured by Stain for doing something similar to Izuku.

-Aizawa bashing where they also take his character and shoot it out back. The guy who is terrified of people ending up like his friend ignoring outright abuse of their Quirks, willingly letting Izuku be beaten by classmates, refusing to read the files, brushing off students DYING, and trying to force students to stay in the hero course because he can't be wrong? Wow. Just make an OC and call it a day.

-Izuku has an OP Quirk that makes him a ladies man and he is so awesome and I can't finish it holy shit no.

-Inko is 100% a plot device and not really a character but DAMN ya'll need to chill out with the abusive Inko fics. Her systematically beating him and starving him and shit is just... WOW. Give me neglectful Inko who ends up abandoning him. Same amount of screentime as canon. Or give me my own blend, where she is a helicopter parent who is convinced she knows the right path for Izuku and gets angry enough to ignore him if he doesn't listen.

-Toga gets adopted by Inko and has a weird ass relationship with Izuku.

-Wooby Hawks fics when in reality this guy is a predator who can and will fuck you up, and I 100% think he's some level of yandere about those he considers 'his'.

-If I had a penny for the amount of times Dabi gets redeemed and it's the blandest shit on earth, I'd be rolling in money. Give me drama if you want him redeemed.

-Anything where Endeavour wasn't that bad/misunderstood. Though also, in general I find fics where he's actually a terrible hero dumb to. He's number two out of how many? Man is a shit person, but a good hero.

[pingnova]

I was writing this one fic that was my entire own mythology and never finished the fic but I still think abt that shit. I totally went "what would I be obsessed with" and did that lol.

One of the characters was a sort of demi-god. In that world there were more stages of life than just alive or dead. Sometimes after you died you would stick around in your body, like a zombie but with less stigma. Altho it was considered a new life for you and you didn't feel so much attachment to, say, family left behind. You felt different. And sometimes the day or night deities would claim people as their family in that stage, bc the myth goes that those deities became Gods that way. like a weird rebirth.

Anyway so this girl was one of those zombie demi gods. She walked around shrouded in a black cloak that looked like the night sky with stars. She cut the cloak out of the night sky to try to reach the night god who claimed her, to argue with them to let her pass on to the afterlife with her family. That hole in the night sky became the moon. She peeked past the sky and didn't find anyone. She continued to poke holes over the millenia continuing to search fruitlessly. Those became the stars. She was kind of odd in her intensity when most like her were a bit listless, and because she wanted to skip straight to the end.

When she first passed into the second stage of life she woke up with bees making a hive in her body and so the cloak is partially to hide the body horror. She thought it was pretty neat to still be on earth but it can take people time to wake up after their initial death and so she was kind of horrifying. She was totally shunned by humans and scared them. She didn't take any issue with the bees because they kept her company and together they helped the crops and flowers grow, and produced sweet honey. But a pretty terrifying picture for live humans who still have that intimate connection with their body. So a large part of her myth and characterization was loneliness and redefining beauty.

She meets the main character because she's still searching for whatever will get her in touch with her second parent to get the hell out of here. She can "wake up" the second dead people, make them more aware and driven, less listless. That's her power although she doesn't realize it initially. She makes the light of the gods/spirits shine thru the darkness! Whether cutting holes in the sky or interacting with the other second dead. The main character needs to talk to the night god for some reason and she sees this as a chance and so helps him up to the sky and through the moon hole to search, and tells him to put in a word for her.

Sigh I should just make that an original work. I had fun!

[septembersghost]

As our Austin and Andrew girl, why do you think Austin has been treated badly for Elvis when I don't remember Andrew getting that criticism for tick tick boom?

i understand why you draw the parallel, both of them are such talented, empathetic actors, both of them really dedicated themselves to those roles, but it's still very apples and oranges, in the end there are a lot of reasons. ttb is a beautiful film, while it doesn't bear the burden of being as grand in scale, nor about someone world famous. i wouldn't expect the average, non-broadway aficionado, audience to know who jonathan was, but most people at the very least have an image of elvis, if not a litany of stereotypes to also go with it. ttb is a musical in the truest sense of the term, and not a biopic, really - it's part autobiographical, but jonathan was telling a story through his writing too. andrew and austin both took various lessons to prepare and sang (amazingly!), but austin had a far more overwhelming mountain to climb there because of who he was playing. the fact that he surpassed that expectation is astonishing. baz and other creatives who worked on elvis have said a true biopic was not their goal (that the word itself was even verboten on set), and i'd actually hesitate to categorize it as one in some ways, i think it somewhat simplifies what the film is and its purpose, but the...stigma? that goes along with that was attached to it anyway. what's particularly odd is this seems to only accompany biopics of musicians - will's oscar last year was literally for a sports biopic? anyway -

in their unique ways and approaches to their crafts, andrew immersed himself in jonathan, austin immersed himself in elvis, but only one of those comes with both an icon and a joke connotation in pop culture. austin also, to most people, seemingly came out of nowhere, whereas andrew is already established, so people saw this "kid" (he is 31! but i've seen him referred to in this way a lot) playing this unthinkably famous man (trying to comprehend his level of fame and the sheer amount of stuff - true, false, idolizing, spurious, out there - is too much to wrap my mind around, in awed and heartbreaking ways) and were making a lot of judgments and preconceptions. there was that snide, ridiculous attitude towards austin's voice (andrew had to drop his own accent and speak like jonathan! but the judgment here stems particularly from the baggage surrounding elvis' "southern drawl"), there seemed to be this idea that he was too genuine and therefore ~cringey~ (or so genuine, in fact, that it must've been disingenuous! make it make sense), and that the level of care he took and felt was weird/extra. almost all of this has to do, ultimately, with the way elvis himself is perceived, despite the film doing its utmost to dispel that and reach for his humanity. *we* know that, but the overriding noise of social media and the press cycle was starkly different for a long list of reasons.

jonathan's sister speaking about ttb and andrew, and how true and moving his performance is, giving some measure of her brother back to her, being like seeing his light and life again, makes me think so strongly of lisa marie and her response and pride in elvis and the way austin captured the heart and soul of her father - both of which are the most important responses and amongst the greatest gifts those films provided. they were both crafted with respect, reverence, and love.

they should feel nothing but proud of their extraordinary performances and the films they made, which truly touched people and introduced them to other music and art they might not have experienced. the press fades, and what remains is the work. what also remains is who they've proven themselves to be as human beings. i love that both of them are such passionate, introspective humans and provide such insight, into their art but also their perspectives. andrew is well-regarded for a reason. austin, this entire awards season, established himself with graciousness and humility and kindness, and that impacted a lot of people (not only fans, but those across the entire industry, including other, more famous, actors, which is why we saw so many of them take him under their wings or gravitate towards him, and he mentioned himself how much that newfound camaraderie meant to him). his next project will shift the narrative and hopefully no one will focus on the superfluous things. what will stick is the compassion and the meaning of what was created.

[aspd-culture]

Hullo! Sorry to bother, but do y'all have any info/resources on identification of ASPD, and/or how to come to a mutual understanding with someone who has ASPD?

I'm BPD myself, and I've suspected my sibling is ASPD for a few years (though they were too young to be diagnosed with it back then). I can relate to some of the things they experience, but other times, the same things make no sense to me at all.

I care about them, but it's hard to know what adjustments can be made when we can't communicate needs in a way we both understand.

Sorry if this ain't the type of ask ya answer, feel free to ignore XD

Don't worry, no bother at all!

Unfortunately I'm having a bit of trouble understanding what exactly you're asking me. I did my best to answer what I believe you were asking, but if I messed anything up please feel free to send another ask clarifying your questions more and I'll be happy to answer.

When it comes to resources of any kind with ASPD, they are pretty next to non-existent, at least without a lot of stigma. Your best bet is to look into more blogs like this one where pwASPD talk about their experiences with symptoms to get an idea of what it's like for the person, and then look into ASPD stigma tags to get an idea of what is stigma vs real fact, then look at the scholarly articles with that understanding of the issues the community has with current ASPD research in mind. I wish I could be of more help, but until the researchers either start actually listening to us or move out of the way and let us write the articles ourselves, that's sort of the best way I can give you to understand ASPD without accidentally ingesting some ableist views.

As for coming to an understanding with pwASPD, as far as I understand it, that can either be super easy or super difficult with BPD. In some ways, the symptoms of BPD and ASPD are almost opposites of each other, while in others they mimic each other a lot.

One thing that might help is picturing how you feel about the world while you're splitting. Many people I know with BPD have described it as feeling like people are just trying to hurt you, or to make you think you can trust them just to abandon you at the worst possible time, etc. This is sort of how many people with ASPD view the world at all times. I think a post that might really help you understand the way pwASPD see the world is one I made about the risk factors and how they affect a child who goes on to develop ASPD, as I get into detail in that post on how our world view gets shaped by our negative experiences.

Here's the link to that post:

Another major thing that might help is to remember that even if your disorders could not feel more different sometimes, at the end of the day they are just different means of coping with the same situation, namely an inability to attach securely to loved ones and especially caregivers during formative years. Whilst in BPD that can create an intense "over"attachment (as far as non CBs describe it), wherein you want to be as close to someone as possible either to make yourself feel secure that they won't leave or to try to make up for the lack of attachment during your formative years, the brain of someone with ASPD detaches because of the same circumstance. We get taught from a young age that people aren't reliable (and sometimes pwASPD even go through a period as children wherein we tried to intensely attach, and might have developed BPD if that had worked, but for whatever reason it doesn't usually due to intense negative reactions from the people we tried to intensely attach to) and that those kind of attachments don't exist in real life, or at least not in our real life, so we have to learn to both survive trusting and relying on only ourselves, and teach our brain against its better judgement that it is actually safer to not attach to anyone.

When you have gone through all of that, I'm sure you can imagine that it's hard to want anything to do with other people and thus we come off pretty cold and detached.

I don't know if I fully understood your question, so again if I didn't my bad just let me know if you want. I hope some of it helped either way.

[unhappytimeleaper]

Hello, can I request Shu × reader from that yandere alphabet prompt, um, oh can you write it using Shu's name the letter S, H, U and have a great day.

Original request from anonymous

Word Count: 3,100+

Shu is awful. I love him. One of my top ten characters. Anyway yeah, I’m still taking request for the yandere alphabet [mainly for enstars but other fandoms are fine too]. Anyway, as a note, I won’t specify what job ‘mc’ for this is working but it’s meant to imply they are apart of staff in some way. If you want to imagine them in the place of Anzu, you can, but I don’t want to intend it to be that’s the only way. I personally prefer the idea that you work along side Anzu as a friend/co-worker for a few different reasons, but if you don’t want that just see it as you wish since it’s never clarified.

Also, I’m not sure if they are comfortable with me mentioning them by name but I wanna thank my friend for encouraging and reading this beforehand. You know who you are.

Itsuki Shu; unedited. Gender neutral reader.

Warnings; yandere content, isolation, stalking, and slight violence.

This blog is 17+ please have your age in your bio or tagged; any ageless blog and below the age asked for will be blocked at the end of the week.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them?

The general answer is childhood. Pretty much, all of his issues extend from being rooted in his childhood and the way he was treated by his parents, kids his age, and later on as a creator. It’s also deeply ingrained in his sense of superiority and creating the perfect image of art. More than that, it’s Shu’s way of filling the loneliness and fears he experiences, because despite his arrogant and harsh nature, Shu seems to be deeply haunted by his past. We also know by the way he speaks to Nito and sometimes Mika there is a comfortability in seeing people as possessions, it’s a way of securing the fantasy of how his life is in his mind into reality which eventually translates into his relationships.

Now more into specifics. What brought this onto you and not someone else. To start, it really is a piece of separating his life into different parts. After the downfall of Valkyrie and Shu having to pick up the pieces of his mental state, he learned to let go of those in the group to be human. To be their own people, but this also is what taught him how to be better in the sense of never having to feel this level of loss again. I explain it a little more below, but being with Shu doesn’t come fast, rather gaining the trust and friendship of Shu takes a long time. You chose to stick by Shu’s side and often by his terms the entire time. You seeked to understand him and often do things his way. This isn’t to say he controls you entirely during your friendship; it’s not like in the past with Valkyrie where you simply give in as it’s easier, but more often than not, you learn to understand his actions and approaches to life. This accumulates in when hanging/helping out with Shu, you try to do things in a way that suit his needs.

Furthermore, supporting him in general is something that greatly influences his attachment. Knowing he doesn’t understand technology so going out of the way to write letters to him while he’s in France, supporting his designs/hobbies, and extending kindness to what he continues to do in the future. It’s the little things of knowing that Shu truly has someone who stands up and cares for the things he does that draws him in. The problems would start when Shu manages to break from his bubbled view of the world he has with you and see that there is more. You don’t only treat him this way but everyone you work with. That there are other idols and people ready to take away the affection you directed to him– the attention you give to him. You let other people touch you and listen to their fashion advice. That when you aren’t in the craft room working on your own projects as he sews, you're off with god knows who doing god knows what. It’s hard to say that you won’t become like others– notice his flaws and eventually abandon him like the others.

That’s when everything comes back around, the emotions of loss and fear. That you’ll do what humans do and become corrupted, with Shu [+ Mademoiselle] left to pick up the pieces of his mind and heart. It does slowly make Shu more overbearing and possessive; if he’s around, he tends to constantly be popping up to drag you off with him for whatever task he can think of. He gets the help of Mika to ensure he knows where you were or who you were with, as well as Mika becoming a very unscary guard dog to keep strangers away. His comments, once threats to hurt you from intruding on his space or time turns into threats of others, that you need to be watched and kept away so they can’t ruin your opinions on him.

Eventually, things become a snowball effect– he finds it hard to even work on projects without you in mind. If it’s not about random aspects to you as inspiration its about who you are with, what you are doing, where you are, how you are. There never was a specific thing you said or did differently. You can spend all your time racking your brain at what you could have done differently to have kept Shu in a normal state of mind, but there will never be an answer. Guess the biggest hint you can find would be the days Shu sketch designs all focused on one person– although it will be hard to gain access to those sketchbooks.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

I’d personally say the aftermath of when Shu first acts on a threat of physical violence, even more, how it plays out after. Part of this would come from a few angles as to why it’s one of the worst— although compared to many other yandere’s, it’s probably hard to label the worst as Shu would be decently unbearable the majority of the time. For one, I think even something like this would come as a shock to Shu partly as it’s known he’s quite weak, even he is aware of this and has to rely on other skills of his to keep you in check most of the time. Also, while often giving very horrendous threats of violence to you [far before Shu started his romantic exploitations], no one has taken him seriously as he mostly says these comments in passing frustration. Even you likely wouldn’t take him seriously, given that getting close to him in the first place would require becoming accustomed to his ‘colorful’ language. Beyond the pinch of an ear or dragging you somewhere by the wrist, nothing had ever caused harm past a few hours.

Finally, the last reason is due to the complex nature Shu likely holds. On one hand, he’s moved on from the people are dolls aspect he once held, but as a muse, you still have to be treated with the perfect care of an antique. Violence is something he often wouldn��t want to consider, never wanting to damage you. After all, it’s likely a huge factor as to why you’ve been locked up. But you already appeared so full of marks and scars… while he’s helped make them fade to match the beauty you should exhibit, he doesn’t want to leave anymore on you. Just like the treatment of Mademoiselle, Shu touches you often with the most delicate ways and often gets extremely worked up if someone goes to even brush some lint off your outfit. Yet he couldn’t help it! Perhaps you were going on about something after a few warnings or making some sort of escape attempt. He really didn’t mean to push you down so hard, but the frustration he usually keeps inside managed to boil over and your footing. It’s nothing extreme, a small twist of your ankle and your wrists hurt from the attempt to break the fall, but enough to bring tears to your eyes.

One of the biggest things that would have to become part of the routine is understanding how Mademoiselle functions between the two of you. Despite playing the role of a lover to Shu in this state, it’s rare that his softness will leak through, and he keeps himself quite guarded— something present throughout the entirety of the time you’ve known him. It’s not that he doesn’t have moments where he acts and treats you like a significant other, and over time he becomes much more comfortable. Still, overall it’s obvious Shu has always struggled to communicate more positive/caring things to those around him. Nevertheless, you often do understand Shu’s true feelings through the conversations you have with Mademoiselle. Unlike how many others portray Shu as not needing Mademoiselle as his obsession grows, I don’t think her presence ever disappears entirely because of how his connection with her is built. There will always be fluctuations of her around as Shu’s mental state shifts; you can often tell if it’s worse if Madem is around more (giving hints on when it’s better to not cause issues, less you want life to get a lot worse). Mademoiselle knows Shu better than anyone else, but for the sake of understanding, she isn’t Shu alone— her own personality who is kind to you and a mediator of his emotions. She lets you in on his feelings (wing-doll of the year), extends kindness, offers moments of advice, although most aren’t very helpful as most tend to just be giving into Shu’s whims, and if you’ve been under Shu’s lockdown information about the outside world.

Shu’s anger and fear would likely still be running high in the heat of the moment. He’d turn around and promptly leave the room, shutting the door behind him. In the aftermath of the shock, you’d be left to pick yourself up and hobble into the bathroom to wrap up the injury and, if lucky, perhaps see if you could find some pain killers [whether or not you find them is questionable]. It wouldn’t be for a few more hours that you’d hear the door open and Shu slinks into the apartment. Not in the mood to talk given that issues from earlier would likely still be extremely sensitive, and being hurt was something that came as a surprise. It wouldn’t be until you felt the bed sink a little more as Shu sits next to you. Mademoiselle stares at you; she apologizes for Shu, saying you might not forgive him right this minute but Shu really didn’t mean to hurt you. He just was startled, and you’ve seen how he can be with intense emotions and doesn’t like it when people overrun their mouths. Just give it time. You’ll come around and remember the person Shu genuinely is. The Shu who was your friend. While you understand what she is trying to do— what she represents— it twists the knife deeper into the memories of when you did consider Shu a friend; now, it feels mocking. Like a mother scolding two kids who got into a fight on the playground or over a toy, that the situation can just be fixed with a mutual apology.

It hurts more that Shu would just scoff; you deserved to be punished, didn’t you? It’s the only way you’ll learn! You should be lucky he did something so simple— he could have done something far worse. Mademoiselle has heard it all, the things he’s threatened, so she should know. Despite everything, you can see on his face the remorse if you look hard enough. It’s something the average person probably wouldn’t notice, but after so much time with Shu, you can tell deep down hurting you was never a part of the plan. The rest of the night is spent in silence from both of you, stuck wallowing in the misery of you trapped in this life and Shu not knowing how to make it back to how it was before while keeping you protected in his fantasy.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

One of the main things would be how long it all takes for this to go down. See, you have some yandere’s who move too fast, or you have others where it feels like a sudden snap. Even with some, it feels like it’s progressing in a very normal way. With Shu, it takes an extremely long time for everything to reach its peak. In fact, this is what makes it so hard to avoid— so many of the warning signs would be brushed off as “that’s just his personality.” The fact is they aren’t wrong either; everyone would be semi-used to his creepy, threatening comments especially knowing how Nito was treated yet it’s never been something he’s acted on so it really feels like harmless Shu being his eccentric self. Eventually, you would get used to it as well because of how long it seemed to take for Shu to reach the point where he feels he needs the relationship. It takes months to even get Shu to really even acknowledge you, maybe having a few conversations with Mademoiselle in the time being while Shu himself spends most of those insulting you.

Progressing a ‘friendship’ with Mademoiselle actually would be the ticket to getting closer with Shu as well. And at the pace of a snail, that’s how it starts. It’d likely starts with passing conversations where he’s still quite hostile but enough to actually gather some information on him, to a more casual discussion, walking with him to the cafes to get a croissant, only to have him begin to seek you out. Reasons would be to have another set of eyes on his practice [a stopwatch is good timing down to the second, but nothing can combat the feedback from someone else], to want to eat his meals with you, even getting to enjoy your presence while he works on projects. Another consideration as to why this would take so long is because Shu constantly is going between Paris and Japan; until he’s decided you need to be kept from the world, Shu doesn’t necessarily bother with taking you with him. Once having what can only be seen as tsundere like friendship, you might hear from Shu more often with calls, something you never would expect given Shu’s rough relationship with technology. Or him seemingly coming to you for general information like how to work the computer, which leads to trying to get FaceTime to work and Shu seems to become obsessed with that form of communication. All of this ends up being an extremely long process where if Shu wasn’t as messed up as he is, it likely could have progressed into a normal relationship if he had just talked to you.

One of the biggest things would be how everything with Shu is a walking contradiction. You’d probably be let on early into a friendship that most things would be difficult with Shu given how he naturally is, but love only seems to make it worse. It goes from the basic hot and cold nature of his personality, from constantly showing praise on how you’re his muse, his inspiration– but still holds his sharp tongue in his remarks that come off as insulting. To how he throws himself into work for hours, barely giving you a hint of attention due to focus he has yet doesn’t want you gone from his sight for even a second. How he claims he knows you’re real, you aren’t a doll or item but treats you delicately enough in how you can't do anything without him, something for him to dress up, and will be dirtied by people if they get their hands on you.

Even to the little things. Shu doesn’t necessarily like to be touched, and if you often make the first move, might be startled; however, he always seems to want to have his hands on you in one way or another. Often just to fix something but also as a sign of possession-- something like cuddling late at night or having you sit on his lap while he’s working on more simple projects. Probably the most ironic and funniest to tease him about more simple concepts. Something like how Shu doesn’t understand the appeal of swimwear or fancy undergarments— yet he’s the one always trying to undress you and feel under your clothes for his designs. Or as high and mighty as Shu is, often being taken down by simple technology having to come to you for help despite not wanting you to have access to such. This is all just the start, listing out every other contradiction could take forever. Either way, if you’re not worried about making him upset and making your day worse with his mood, you’re stuck doing cartwheels to understand precisely what he wants now things are ‘furthering in a relationship.’ At some point you probably are mentally exhausted enough you don’t have energy to be physically resistant to his poking and prodding while working.

Lastly, there is one big difference, and that’s how freedom works. It’s very fast into this idea of Shu seeing you as more of a partner and muse that he needs to keep isolated, but also not something Shuu can do easily compared to many other yanderes. In general, being an idol makes it challenging but he moves around so much as it is Shu doesn’t want to just leave you in the apartment alone… or with Mika necessarily. It’s not even the lack of trust in Mika either, although it’s not like he’d be able to babysit you 24/7, giving you plenty of time of time to disappear if you tried. Mind that Shu knows you’re not quite the same as Mademoiselle, but you eventually become a sense of comfort in the same way. Inspiration, a muse for his craft but also a way to relax with the stress that comes from his daily life, we already know how intense Shu is, and he probably calms down a good 2% with you around. So lucky you! You’ll end up being stuck going with Shu wherever he goes.

Holed out in the crafting club making outfits for a performance, that’s your room for the next few days. Although, be aware you’re expected to not leave the room even if Shu has to leave for a few hours to pick something up for his work [or is hungry enough to need something to eat though he’ll make sure to bring something back for you]. Better get used to traveling as you’ll be going from France to Japan quite frequently. However, despite not being fully chained and locked up in a room, that doesn’t give you much freedom. If you aren’t playing ‘dress up’ for Shu, you’re often stuck in the corner or next to him holding Mademoiselle and left to your own tasks. Usually there won’t be much to do, perhaps reading or drawing, or some other hand-held craft, given that you aren’t allowed to have access to a phone/tv nor talk to anyone. Well, unless you want to face Shu’s anger which no one really wants, it seems everyone knows to simply avoid trying to start a conversation [if they even could get close enough]. It’s incredibly isolating, but somehow hurts even more given that you are left watching the world move past you without being a part of it anymore, given the tight leash Shu has. After all, he has had a lot of time to think about how to keep you from breaking or straying too far with the downfall of Valkyrie in the past. Guess one good did come from that experience.

[writingwithcolor]

What Does Our "Motivations” PSA Mean?

@luminalalumini said:

I've been on your blog a lot and it has a lot of really insightful information, but I notice a theme with some of your answers where you ask the writer reaching out what their 'motivation for making a character a certain [race/religion/ethnicity/nationality] is' and it's discouraging to see, because it seems like you're automatically assigning the writer some sort of ulterior motive that must be sniffed out and identified before the writer can get any tips or guidance for their question. Can't the 'motive' simply be having/wanting to have diversity in one's work? Must there be an 'ulterior motive'? I can understand that there's a lot of stigma and stereotypes and bad influence that might lead to someone trynna add marginalized groups into their stories for wrong reasons, but people that have those bad intentions certainly won't be asking for advice on how to write good representation in the first place. Idk its just been something that seemed really discouraging to me to reach out myself, knowing i'll automatically be assigned ulterior motives that i don't have and will probably have to justify why i want to add diversity to my story as if i'm comitting some sort of crime. I don't expect you guys to change your blog or respond to this or even care all that much, I'm probably just ranting into a void. I'm just curious if theres any reason to this that I haven't realized exists I suppose. I don't want y'all to take this the wrong way because I do actually love and enjoy your blog's advice in spite of my dumb griping. Cheers :))

We assume this is in reference to the following PSA:

PSA to all of our users - Motivation Matters: This lack of clarity w/r to intent has been a general issue with many recent questions. Please remember that if you don’t explain your motivations and what you intend to communicate to your audience with your plot choices, character attributes, world-building etc., we cannot effectively advise you beyond the information you provide. We Are Not Mind Readers. If, when drafting these questions, you realize you can’t explain your motivations, that is likely a hint that you need to think more on the rationales for your narrative decisions. My recommendation is to read our archives and articles on similar topics for inspiration while you think. I will be attaching this PSA to all asks with similar issues until the volume of such questions declines. 

We have answered this in three parts.

1. Of Paved Roads and Good Intentions

Allow me to give you a personal story, in solidarity towards your feelings:

When I began writing in South Asia as an outsider, specifically in the Kashmir and Lahore areas, I was doing it out of respect for the cultures I had grown up around. I did kathak dance, I grew up on immigrant-cooked North Indian food, my babysitters were Indian. I loved Mughal society, and every detail of learning about it just made me want more. The minute you told me fantasy could be outside of Europe, I hopped into the Mughal world with two feet. I was 13. I am now 28.

And had you asked me, as a teenager, what my motives were in giving my characters’ love interests blue or green eyes, one of them blond hair, my MC having red-tinted brown hair that was very emphasized, and a whole bunch of paler skinned people, I would have told you my motives were “to represent the diversity of the region.” 

I’m sure readers of the blog will spot the really, really toxic and colourist tropes present in my choices. If you’re new here, then the summary is: giving brown people “unique” coloured eyes and hair that lines up with Eurocentric beauty standards is an orientalist trope that needs to be interrogated in your writing. And favouring pale skinned people is colourist, full stop.

Did that make me a bad person with super sneaky ulterior motives who wanted to write bad representation? No.

It made me an ignorant kid from the mostly-white suburbs who grew up with media that said brown people had to “look unique” (read: look as European as possible) to be considered valuable.

And this is where it is important to remember that motives can be pure as you want, but you were still taught all of the terrible stuff that is present in society. Which means you’re going to perpetuate it unless you stop and actually question what is under your conscious motive, and work to unlearn it. Work that will never be complete.

I know it sounds scary and judgemental (and it’s one of the reasons we allow people to ask to be anonymous, for people who are afraid). Honestly, I would’ve reacted much the same as a younger writer, had you told me I was perpetuating bad things. I was trying to do good and my motives were pure, after all! But after a few years, I realized that I had fallen short, and I had a lot more to learn in order for my motives to match my impact. Part of our job at WWC is to attempt to close that gap.

We aren’t giving judgement, when we ask questions about why you want to do certain things. We are asking you to look at the structural underpinnings of your mind and question why those traits felt natural together, and, more specifically, why those traits felt natural to give to a protagonist or other major character.

I still have blond, blue-eyed characters with sandy coloured skin. I still have green-eyed characters. Because teenage me was right, that is part of the region. But by interrogating my motive, I was able to devalue those traits within the narrative, and I stopped making those traits shorthand for “this is the person you should root for.” 

It opened up room for me to be messier with my characters of colour, even the ones who my teenage self would have deemed “extra special.” Because the European-associated traits (pale hair, not-brown-eyes) stopped being special. After years of questioning, they started lining up with my motive of just being part of the diversity of the region.

Motive is important, both in the conscious and the subconscious. It’s not a judgement and it’s not assumed to be evil. It’s simply assumed to be unquestioned, so we ask that you question it and really examine your own biases.

~Mod Lesya

2. Motivations Aren't Always "Ulterior"

You can have a positive motivation or a neutral one or a negative one. Just wanting to have diversity only means your characters aren't all white and straight and cis and able-bodied -- it doesn't explain why you decided to make this specific character specifically bi and specifically Jewish (it me). Yes, sometimes it might be completely random! But it also might be "well, my crush is Costa Rican, so I gave the love interest the same background", or "I set it in X City where the predominant marginalized ethnicity is Y, so they are Y". Neither of these count as ulterior motives. But let's say for a second that you did accidentally catch yourself doing an "ulterior." Isn't that the point of the blog, to help you find those spots and clean them up?

Try thinking of it as “finding things that need adjusting” rather than “things that are bad” and it might get less scary to realize that we all do them, subconsciously. Representation that could use some work is often the product of subconscious bias, not deliberate misrepresentation, so there's every possibility that someone who wants to improve and do better didn't do it perfectly the first time. 

--Shira

3. Dress-Making as a Metaphor

I want to echo Lesya’s sentiments here but also provide a more logistical perspective. If you check the rubber stamp guide here and the “Motivation matters” PSA above, you’ll notice that concerns with respect to asker motivation are for the purposes of providing the most relevant answer possible.

It is a lot like if someone walks into a dressmaker’s shop and asks for a blue dress/ suit (Back when getting custom-made clothes was more of a thing) . The seamstress/ tailor is likely to ask a wide variety of questions:

What material do you want the outfit to be made of?

Where do you plan to wear it?

What do you want to highlight?

How do you want to feel when you wear it?

Let’s say our theoretical customer is in England during the 1920s. A tartan walking dress/ flannel suit for the winter is not the same as a periwinkle, beaded, organza ensemble/ navy pinstripe for formal dress in the summer. When we ask for motivations, we are often asking for exactly that: the specific reasons for your inquiry so we may pinpoint the most pertinent information.

The consistent problem for many of the askers who receive the PSA is they haven’t even done the level of research necessary to know what they want to ask of us. It would be like if our English customer in the 1920s responded, “IDK, some kind of blue thing.” Even worse,  WWC doesn’t have the luxury of the back-and-forth between a dressmaker and their clientele. If our asker doesn’t communicate all the information they need in mind at the time of submission, we can only say, “Well, I’m not sure if this is right, but here’s something. I hope it works, but if you had told us more, we could have done a more thorough job.”

Answering questions without context is hard, and asking for motivations, by which I mean the narratives, themes, character arcs and other literary devices that you are looking to incorporate, is the best way for us to help you, while also helping you to determine if your understanding of the problem will benefit from outside input. Because these asks are published with the goal of helping individuals with similar questions, the PSA also serves to prompt other users.

I note that asking questions is a skill, and we all start by asking the most basic questions (Not stupid questions, because to quote a dear professor, “There are no stupid questions.”). Unfortunately, WWC is not suited for the most basic questions. To this effect, we have a very helpful FAQ and archive as a starting point. Once you have used our website to answer the more basic questions, you are more ready to approach writing with diversity and decide when we can actually be of service. This is why we are so adamant that people read the FAQ. Yes, it helps us, but it also is there to save you time and spare you the ambiguity of not even knowing where to start.

The anxiety in your ask conveys to me a fear of being judged for asking questions. That fear is not something we can help you with, other than to wholeheartedly reassure you that we do not spend our unpaid, free time answering these questions in order to assume motives we can’t confirm or sit in judgment of our users who, as you say, are just trying to do better.

Yes, I am often frustrated when an asker’s question makes it clear they haven’t read the FAQ or archives. I’ve also been upset when uncivil commenters have indicated that my efforts and contributions are not worth their consideration. However, even the most tactless question has never made me think, “Ooh this person is such a naughty racist. Let me laugh at them for being a naughty racist. Let me shame them for being a naughty racist. Mwahaha.”

What kind of sad person has time for that?*

Racism is structural. It takes time to unlearn, especially if you’re in an environment that doesn’t facilitate that process to begin with. Our first priority is to help while also preserving our own boundaries and well-being. Though I am well aware of the levels of toxic gas-lighting and virtue signaling that can be found in various corners of online writing communities in the name of “progressivism*”, WWC is not that kind of space. This space is for discussions held in good faith: for us to understand each other better, rather than for one of us to “win” and another to “lose.”

Just as we have good faith that you are doing your best, we ask that you have faith that we are trying to do our best by you and the BIPOC communities we represent.

- Marika.

*If you are in any writing or social media circles that feed these anxieties or demonstrate these behaviors, I advise you to curtail your time with them and focus on your own growth. You will find, over time, that it is easier to think clearly when you are worrying less about trying to appease people who set the bar of approval so high just for the enjoyment of watching you jump. “Internet hygiene”, as I like to call it, begins with you and the boundaries you set with those you interact with online.

[rpbetter]

PTSD or C-PTSD?

Hopefully, you’re not one of the muns out there who has slapped a “PTSD” label on your muse(s) for drama only. You are, instead, treating this topic with respect and the realism that comes with that, not only having it accurately impact your muse when it’s convenient and “fun” for you. Well, that respect and realism includes actually knowing and applying the correct diagnosis and symptoms as well.

In your defense, if you have misdiagnosed your muse, common terminology in media and even among trauma sufferers is often just the blanket-statement of PTSD. Also, as the abbreviations imply, they do have things in common. 

To help, I’m going to break down their differences and similarities, then provide some research links including personal accounts to help you get started.

PTSD

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder most often comes from a single traumatic event.

What can be a traumatic event can differ widely, and reasonably so; we’re not all the same person, processing events and emotions the same way, or with the same formative life experiences. What might cause PTSD to develop in one person might be processed by another as a frightening or painful incident, but not one that has left them with PTSD. The symptoms, individual, and incident have to all be taken into account.

That being said, some examples would include:

having a severe accident

being mugged or in a store that is robbed

physical or sexual assault

being involved in a shooting, in any way

death of a loved one

an unexpected explosion or sudden, natural event like a mudslide or tornado

a severe natural or man-made disaster (building collapse, mass flooding)

events outside of oneself like witnessing a violent assault, murder, deadly car accidents, terminal illness or injury

Again, it is important to remember that individuals react in individual ways, and as such, their symptoms can express with some variation. Don’t just mimic the same presentations you’ve seen in media, research a variety of real experiences.

However they manifest, key symptoms of PTSD include:

Re experiencing the event by way of nightmares, flashbacks, and repetitive, intrusive, and intensely upsetting images, thoughts, and sensations. This is the most common symptom of PTSD, in which the person involuntarily and vividly relives the trauma.

Avoidance and emotional numbing, going to extremes to avoid not just potential triggers, but also finding any way possible to push memories of the event out of their minds. When the latter occurs and is extreme, the person is trying to feel nothing at all, seeking a path to emotional numbness. That can include substance use and abuse, self-harming, and other harmful behaviors.

Feeling on edge (”Hyperarousal”) is the ultimate inability to relax, constantly looking for threats, perceiving threats that are not to be found, and being easily startled. Some of the common issues with being locked into this state include difficulty sleeping or even insomnia, severe irritability and irrational seeming aggression, angry or aggressive outbursts, and finding concentration difficult to impossible.

Some other things that might develop with PTSD are:

Other mental health concerns like anxiety, depression, and/or phobias

as said above, harmful behaviors like self-harming and substance abuse

physical symptoms like headaches, stomach and digestive upsets, dizziness, and generalized pain

Like all disorders, PTSD is complex. I, again, implore you to research not only information put out by psychiatric professionals but also the experiences of real people.

C-PTSD

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder occurs when a person experiences repeated, consistent trauma, especially at an early age.

That doesn’t mean that adults cannot and do not develop C-PTSD, they do, and for a variety of reasons; adult sufferers have the same points of origin in the diagnosis as children do. Additionally, it may take years for someone to seek help, feel their symptoms are severe enough to need to, or be able to extricate themselves from the situation in order to receive help of any kind. They may be an adult by the time this happens.

The important thing to remember about C-PTSD is that it isn’t a single traumatic incident, and you are more likely to have this form of PTSD if the trauma occurred early in life, it was inflicted by someone close to you, and/or was inflicted by someone you still see on a regular basis.

Some good examples to give you the idea include:

ongoing domestic violence

child abuse and/or neglect

being raised by a parent with a severe disorder like Narcissistic Personality Disorder

repeatedly witnessing violence or abuse

torture

kidnapping

being a part of a cult

being a victim of human trafficking or slavery

It isn’t “complex” because it is always across the board “more severe.” This isn’t simply “even worse PTSD,” and shouldn’t be treated like that. Its source is more complex, the development and embedded varieties of its impact are, and the ongoing treatment is.

Particularly when C-PTSD occurs in childhood, there are lasting effects on a person’s development. They have developed in an environment that constantly has them highly stressed both physically and psychologically, and in which they learn many ways of coping, lessening or negating harm, and so on, that leave them less than optimally functional and integrated in life outside the situation.

While the person has the symptoms of PTSD, they will additionally exhibit:

difficulty developing and/or maintaining relationships of any sort

intense, consistent feelings of worthlessness, shame, and guilt

problems managing and even understanding their own emotions

suicidal thoughts

dissociation

increased risk-taking behaviors

Those who have had their actual development rerouted to deal with the situations that generate C-PTSD have a higher incidence of physical symptoms, suicide, self-harm, substance abuse, and are at higher risk of repeat victimization.

They might go for some time without realizing that their daily experiences are neither the norm nor something sustainable, or how atypical their traumatic experiences were compared to those around them. It can sometimes take a serious life-event (suicide attempt, drug rehab, losing too many jobs, homelessness, or finding themselves in a genuine, loving relationship) for them to fully recognize something is wrong, and even then, their feelings of worthlessness, ingrained lack of self-confidence, and belief that they don’t deserve any better can prevent them from seeking help outside of themselves.

They may also believe that something is just “wrong” with them, that they are innately messed up, or that they have a different mental illness. And the unwillingness to open up to people, relieve events, etc. can additionally leave them unwilling to seek or continue care when they believe they have a different, underlying problem. Again, choosing to deal with this themselves through self-isolating, self-medicating, and seeking only relationships and jobs that will work within the framework of the disorder as it effects them.

Additionally, many sufferers of both C-PTSD and PTSD experience the same sense of societal shaming surrounding mental illness. They may struggle with denial, and refuse to seek assistance due to the stigma and all it entails.

Shared aspects of PTSD and C-PTSD

They’re both, obviously, severe, life-altering trauma experiences and resultant disorders. They both easily make the sufferer feel like the trauma and disorder is impossible or undesirable for others to deal with, that they are not worthy of being in close relationships, among many other similarities in experience living with either disorder regardless of widely varying traumas.

They share psychological and physical impacts, and there is a lot of overlap.

The core symptoms of PTSD are shared with C-PTSD:

relieving the trauma(s)

avoiding and emotional numbing

hyperarousal

The shared physical symptoms can include:

headaches

nausea, stomach ache, and digestive upsets

difficulty sleeping and insomnia

sweating, clamminess

chest pain and difficulty breathing

manifestations of low-grade to severe pain

dizziness

Shared behaviors can include:

difficulty concentrating to outright dissociating

self-harm

substance abuse

being hyper-vigilant, easily startled

may seem to be over-reactive to/in situations that others are perceiving as normal or not that big of a deal due to lower perception of personal emotions and lower emotional regulation

including explosive anger or defensiveness

development of anxiety and depression disorders, the symptoms thereof

Again, both PTSD and C-PTSD are serious disorders caused by trauma, and they both need to be treated with respect and accuracy when written into a character - be that an OC or a canon character. It is unfortunate, but these symptoms and the realities of life with either disorder are often portrayed badly in wider media, and the RPC often imitates what it sees.

PTSD and C-PTSD, like the incidents of trauma that created them (rape, child abuse, domestic violence, miscarriage, etc.), are not a plot-point, other point of interest, or a character trait, let alone a “character flaw.” They’re not something you only bring up for attention, to get your muse out of a bad spot, or to add dramatics when you’re bored in a thread. Neither are they something you need to attach to your muse simply to give them A Label. These are, I cannot stress this enough, serious topics, and they deserve to be treated that way.

You can do that by defining which variety of PTSD your muse may actually have, then adding research of both the disorder and how it impacts a variety of real people. Making your muse more realistic and being dedicated to sticking with it.

Below are some links to get you started on research! Please note, the real stories, as well as some information, may be graphic or triggering. Read responsibly.

C-PTSD

Out of the Storm - Personal Stories of C-PTSD 

-Contains real stories from those with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Their experiences have a huge range; bullying, childhood neglect and abuse, and sexual abuse and assault.

 I Have Post-Traumatic Stress and Didn’t Know It - and You Might, Too

-Personal story of living, unknowingly, with C-PTSD. An especially great read for writers who have muses who hold a lot of responsibility in their daily lives, who may not realize their experiences are C-PTSD related, etc. Contains discussion of parental emotional abuse, mental illness and childhood trauma, and rape.

What is C-PTSD?

-Excellent resource for detailed breakdowns of C-PTSD giving without a clinical, impersonal tone. The definitions of the disorder itself, symptoms and how it manifests and impacts daily life, and much more. A highly recommended source, and one with further resources on-site.

 11 “Habits” of People Living with C-PTSD

-Short breakdown of C-PTSD, followed by snippets of specific experiences in the words of those living with the disorder, a relatively short article.

PTSD

Rebecca’s Story: Living with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

-Personal story of a woman living with PTSD from, in short, being stalked by a co-worker. It’s an excellent article, particularly for how mental illnesses sufferers are treated and portrayed, and how that adds another layer of difficulty to their lives. Obviously, this may be triggering to those who have been stalked, and includes mentions of graphic threats.

My experience of PTSD

-A personal story of medical trauma resulting in PTSD. Many of the PTSD stories you’ll find are from women and involve sexual trauma or harassment, in trying to find a variety of stories, I’ve found this one. By this point, you should be noticing many similarities in these stories, regardless of specific trauma.

Leaving the Battlefield: Soldier Shares Story of PTSD

-So many muses experience PTSD through battle-related incidents, and those depictions are not always accurate in media. This is a personal story about one soldier’s experiences. His perception of PTSD, denial, and shame at having the disorder is something that echoes throughout the previous accounts. So do the similarities of daily struggles to maintain to regular life. Before anyone wants to get Tumblr Nasty about it: there isn’t any “war propaganda” present in this story, the location of it is irrelevant to what you’re supposed to be learning here. It’s literally this man’s experience, don’t.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder 

-Breakdown of symptoms and causes from Mayo Clinic, so obviously, this is more clinical-minded. Particularly useful for its lists of things like “symptoms of negative changes in thinking and mood” and increased risk-factor for other disorders.

I hope this helps you to assess and write more accurately your muses with C-PTSD or PTSD, and to consider these things more fully when having your muse experience a traumatic event in your plots.

-------

Please, remember when you are reading these accounts, and anywhere you might encounter PTSD sufferers; these are REAL PEOPLE. Treat them and their stories with respect. You’ll note that, unlike other posts on this blog, I didn’t advise you to approach the source. Many trauma sufferers won’t be comfortable sharing their experiences for the sake of your creative hobby. You may, at your respectful discretion, discuss this with close friends you know to be impacted by PTSD, just keep in mind that respect, discretion, and only bringing the topic up when they are comfortable with it, with specific questions, is necessary here. These are not fictional characters! Do not write someone’s real experiences into your character, thread, etc. verbatim, that’s...fucked up. Thanks in advance for being responsible, respectful adults, from a real life PTSD sufferer. -Vespertine

[transmascissues]

im transmasc myself and while i agree w the stuff in your pinned readmore thing im a little confused on how we are supposed to have grown up inherently different from cis women, or how our dicomfort with our gender is somehow innately different because we came to the conclusion we are men or otherwise trans. i dont think i completely agree. i think a lot of cis women go through much of the same, and possibly the exact same, discomfort we do because being interpreted as girls in society, or being dfab, is a difficult experience for most, especially for people who are gnc.

i think it really comes down to how we decide we are going to label ourselves or whether we pursue medical transition? a cis woman may be dysphoric in the same way we are, but decide she is not trans and is going to try to be comfortable with her body the way it is for whatever personal reason. she wont face the same stigma we do navigating society as transmasculine people, but we dont have to have an innate difference from her for our identities and our systemic oppression to be real, ykwim? like i can share the exact same thoughts and experiences as someone who decided they werent trans and still be trans myself, because being trans is an action i have taken to treat my dysphoria. i dont have to not feel like other girls (not saying this in a demeaning way just phrasing it like the post you made)

here's the thing: being trans as someone who was afab is about WAY more than just discomfort with being seen as women

first of all, it's not just about the discomfort - my experiences of gender euphoria are far more indicative of my gender experience as whole than my dysphoria is - sure, a cis woman could feel uncomfortable with what being perceived as a woman is like, but do they feel the same absolute joy when they're called a boyfriend or a brother or a dad or when they see their name next to "mr"? do they feel like everything in their life just makes more sense when they fit into it as a genderqueer man (in my case), or do they just not like what it means to fit into it as a woman? because there's a big difference

my point is, at the end of the day, it is impossible for me to have the "exact same thoughts and experiences" as a cis woman because those thoughts and experiences include Not Being A Woman, so anyone who shares my exact thoughts and experiences is necessarily not a cis woman

i think the real problem here is that you're viewing transness purely as a series of actions (social transition, legal transition, medical transition, etc)

sure, it might be that to you, but for the majority of trans people, it's so much more than that - i'm not trans in order to treat my dysphoria, i'm trans because my gender isn't the one i was assigned at birth, and that would be true regardless of what actions i take, because for me and most other trans people, transness as an identity and transitioning as an action are two separate (albeit often closely related) things

sure, our experiences don't HAVE to be innately different from cis women's for them to be valid, but that doesn't change the fact that (at least for most of us) they still are innately different - sometimes things are just true even if they don't need to be

and i would caution you to be VERY careful generalizing the idea that being trans is nothing more than a treatment for dysphoria, because that's the exact logic a lot of t/er/fs use to argue that we should just find "other treatments" (aka usually conversion therapy) and not let anyone transition

and on top of the t/er/f issue, this logic also suggests that discomfort is the main experience of being trans, which allows cis people to keep portraying it as a mental illness / generally bad thing, and also fucks over anyone who wants to transition to achieve euphoria even if they don't have the associated dysphoria (for example, i'm not dysphoric about my lack of facial hair but i AM euphoric when i see myself with facial hair so one of my transition goals is getting some facial hair - it doesn't matter that i'm comfortable without it because i would be even more comfortable with it and that's what SHOULD matter)

to give you a somewhat simplified answer to your question: our discomfort with womanhood is different from a cis woman's because our discomfort is part of a much larger internal experience of a different gender, and theirs likely wouldn't be solved by living as a different gender because that wouldn't align with their internal experience (as evidenced by the cis women who have transitioned and later realized it wasn't the right path because that wasn't the real source of their discomfort), so while the discomfort might feel the same on the surface, it comes from a different place and will have different experiences attached to it

[psyched-for-you]

I’m sorry it’s a long post.. I hope it’s ok and that you can help, even if you can’t help with all my questions.

I have recently gotten a diagnosis (avoidant personality disorder) and I find it difficult to figure out how I should feel about it. Because I’m torn.

On one hand I feel validated, but also not convinced and feel like I don’t deserve it (my trauma is too minimal, I shouldn’t even have been traumatized by it). And also I get afraid that how I view myself is twisted compared to how others view me, since apparently it’s obvious that I have a personality disorder. Like is that how other people view me? Is it so obvious that I’m mentally ill? (I’m sorry, I don’t mean to put other people down. It’s just that I’m afraid that how others see me is less than how I try to appear). I thought I was at least somewhat good at putting up a mature and competent facade.

On the other hand I feel even more doomed. What if I’ll never be better? I had confidence that I can work on myself and get better, but now I’m questioning everything I thought I knew about myself. And feeling doomed because what will people think of me now? I’m an honest person, and I want to be able to tell the people closest to me about what’s going on with me, but now I’m afraid that their view on me will change or that they’ll be scared off because they think I’m crazy and broken. I wish so much to be able to fall in love and be in a relationship but no one wants to be in a relationship with a mentally ill person! That’s what most people consider a red flag. (I know I don’t have to tell people right away, but what’s better: ripping off the bandage and then not having invested a lot of feelings when they run away, or waiting and becoming emotionally attached to a person who then leaves?)

Furthermore I feel bad about not being relieved, like everyone else who get a diagnosis seems to be. And because I guess I must have some sort of internalized stigma since I am so hard on myself for having a diagnosis but not on others, and I feel like a shitty person because that means I must be secretly judging other diagnosed people even though I don’t want it to be like that.

I really hope that my view of this diagnosis is what is wrong and not the reality…

I feel like by getting a diagnosis like this, I’m being put into a different human category, almost like a different species. Removed from other people. Since my personality by definition is “messed up”. Like I’m being made a stranger to “normal” people. Someone to be careful with like a child or animal you don’t know how will react, someone to not mix with.

But I don’t want that to be true! Is it?

I thought maybe it would be nicer to view it like this (and hopeful be the truth?): We are all people with differences, and wounds, and different life experiences. So we naturally all have different personalities and reactions and views on life. If we suspected everyone, we would all have our own unique diagnoses. But that would defeat the purpose. But the reason why a diagnosis like avoidant personality disorder exists, is because (even though all the people with this diagnosis on a closer inspection are different and unique people as well) we have a number of problems/characteristics/reactions in common. Characteristics that are more like “symptoms “ to our earlier experiences, trauma, anxiety and so on and the way we are reacting is just similar compared to how other people might react because their personality is slightly different. So although those reactions become part of our personality, it does not mean that our personality is wrong or broken. Using the word personality is more descriptive of how people view is from the outside, and not how it actually feels like on the inside. Because I’m the inside it’s more like maybe defense mechanisms and reactions we have taken on us to protect ourselves from the issues our earlier experiences like trauma that has made us view ourselves or the world differently in a way that makes it very hard to navigate. Could that be a more accurate view on personality disorders?

Hi anon!

I think your way of conceptualizing your disorder makes sense to me! It's all about what works for you.

Bc honestly psychiatry is not an exact science with diagnoses that reflect underlying causes and the course of illness. So whatever works for you is ok!

In my opinion personality disorders are poorly named. They are not disorders of "personality" as much as they reflect certain behaviors and patterns especially in how you relate to other people. Two people with the same personality disorder can be two completely different personalities!

So if I had to point at what's "disordered", it's your relationship to yourself and others.

Now as for the internalized stigma you're carrying around: It doesn't make you bad, but these are important beliefs to question and work against. Having a mental illness is not a red flag - in fact, in my experience, if a potential partner considers your mental illness a red flag, that is a red flag on them.

Why? Because mental illness doesn't speak of your character. It may mean that you need more support, though. And if a potential partner isn't at a point in life where they're willing to be a source of support, you're probably better off without the disappointment.

I understand the feeling of being categorized and how it can feel painful, but being mentally ill doesn't make you a "different species". I know you said this only applies to you and not other mentally ill people. But I still think it would help you to make an effort to hang out with, and have relations, with other mentally ill people. Bc I feel like this mindset can be challenged by the profound realization that we're all just people, which can only really be reached by interacting with a bunch of different people.

Lastly, and this is an important point to me: Having been diagnosed doesn't mean that you can never get better. Frankly speaking, psychs have no idea who can and can't get better. The idea of chronic vs. non-chronic mental disorders is pretty flawed, but that's probably a whole post of its own. The main point being that a psych diagnosis is a snapshot of your current symptoms as seen through the lense of the personal and professional biases of the one who's diagnosing you.

It's a snapshot of how you're doing rn, and that can and is most likely to change. Whether that means you'll no longer have avoidant personality disorder in the future is hard to say.

But everyone evolves over time, and everyone's behaviors and relationship to themselves and others, change. You are not the exception. You too can and will find ways to accept, to cope, to move on, to grow.

I hope this helps a little!

Best,

Quinn

[aealrizen]

Eventually Midas was able to settle down enough that they were able to unpack some dinner from the bikes. The same old tasteless compact powder full of vitamins in cracker form, but at least they stirred up a small fire to melt the water gel into an actual liquid instead of a goop. It was nice to have something warm to sip on, and Midas cradled the cup in his hands while letting the steam caress his face. It was quiet while the other two let him have a moment to mull over his thoughts some more, but soon enough Midas looked over to Whip again. “I’m not going to assume we’re all that close and I have to know everything about you, but…… why didn't you mention…. Well, anything at all about all of that? Are you… really okay with it?”

Whip’s mood had been cautious ever since Midas had almost overloaded his brain, but he at least could answer the questions Midas had. “I had meant to tell you once you had some good in your life to balance it out,” he admitted. “I was worried that after seeing my memories, you’d be afraid to get back your own. You’re so intent on figuring out where you came from and stuff. I didn’t want you to think, after seeing all the slum people, and my own past, that the past for everyone was nothing but pain…… I hope that didn’t end up happening anyway.” He gave a pathetic chuckle, not wanting to dwell on the blood in his story but knowing it wasn’t the best background to have when trying to be supportive of someone figuring out their own.

Midas gave a weak smile, but at least had no hesitation in shaking his head. “You said so yourself. Forgetting everything kind of sucks,” he laughed a bit. “But also….. It’s not just about figuring out what happened to me. What I was like and all that. I know Cerah is corrupt. The city is the one that perpetuates the stigma against cyborgs, and even goes as far as considering the people who live there to be elite and everyone else inferior. That’s why their slums are so desolate. If they knew that someone else was looking into cybernetic research, something they monopolize in, they would probably destroy them.” Midas grew quiet for a moment, and Whip and Ian were suddenly realizing why Midas was so intent on figuring out his lost memories. It wasn’t about him at all. “Someone had their reasons for turning me into this. Making me something that everyone was taught to fear. I can’t let Cerah- let C-Tech, find who did this to me before I do. I want to know if it was for a good reason or not. Before C-Tech passes their uncaring judgment.”

Whip was a little stunned for a moment, but then let out a soft laugh and rubbed the back of his scalp a little. “Heh. I guess that makes sense,” he agreed, smiling softly while glancing over at Ian. Of course Ian would get attached to a kid like this. He probably realized from the beginning that Midas was a good person. That stupied dad smile he had just proved that further to Whip. “So… did you figure anything out?” he asked, finally voicing the question he’d wanted to know the answer to for the past few hours.

Midas’ shoulders immediately slumped as he gained an exasperated groan in his voice. “Uuuugh, I’m not sure. I don’t think I have anything at all. I looked through the data again, the part that was from the computer and not you, but nothing makes sense. Everything just feels like junk. Like I’m just looking at an encyclopedia database. Just…,” he huffed, and squished the mug against his bottom lip as he muttered over it. “There’s only this one thing that might not be anything at all.”

Anything was better than nothing, so Ian and Whip both sat up a little straighter and gave Midas their full attention. “What? There was something in all that data?” Ian prodded, not wanting to abandon anything, even if it was small.

Midas looked a little embarrassed, but at least answered. “There was a picture of a building. A… cathedral I think they’re called? It looks like it was just a photograph, but… it felt familiar. Like how Whip feels about his memories. Like… maybe I’d been there before.”

Despite Midas thinking they had nothing to go off of, Whip and Ian drew slow breaths before looking over to each other in excitement.. It was a good enough lead for them. “A cathedral?” Whip repeated. “You’re sure?”

Midas’ brow furrowed in confusion, wondering why they were getting so happy about something so stupid. “Yeah? I think so. It’s those buildings that are like churchy, but have the big steeple and a lot of pointy towers-  but this one looked smaller. Like a cross between a church and a cathedral I guess. Why are you getting all exc-”

“Eutoli!” Whip suddenly blurted, his hands raising in front of him in joy. Ian just nodded in agreement, and Whip continued blurting out his thoughts in a rush. “It’s the only place that still has cathedrals for like…. 50 years now. It has to be there.”

“But the city is closed off. No one can enter or leave without permission,” Ian reminded, already thinking about how they would get in there without causing trouble. “We’ll have to go to Andapos. I can get us passwork papers so we can enter and hopefully not draw too much attention. We might have to pick up a job from them for it though.”

“Um…. what?” Midas interrupted, looking between the two.

Whip snapped out of his spiral of ideas, and had to chuckle. “You remember those peas that we got a while ago?” he asked, and only continued after Midas nodded. “Eutoli is the city to the south. A small place, but one focused on preserving historical relics in the past, which ended up leaving them to be the only place plants flourish. Because of that Andapos and Cerah both guard it even though they’re at war with each other behind the scenes, so it’s extremely difficult to even enter the city. It’s the only place I know of that even might have a cathedral though, so it’s a good place to look.”

Giving an understanding nod now, Midas’ mind ended up wandering away from listening as the other two discussed the details of their future trip. The only place with plantlife? It made sense. The photograph had trees in it. The ones that had been in Whip’s memories had just looked like photographs brought to life. But the ones in this photo had actually felt familiar as well. Like he’d seen a glimpse of them in person. It had been such a faint feeling that he’d believed he’d never actually seen one before. But now he also had the faint sensation of what he thought might be grass tickling the soles of his feet. It wasn’t much, but having a hint of a solid goal, and progress, made Midas’ chest bubble with suppressed anticipation.

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If I ever go a long time without posting just assume it’s because I’m horribly stuck on what to do next to connect the thoughts 8 |

funny thing is that this one actually finally came about because Wys told me to finish an old sketch I had from last year, back when I had art block XD