#for the music i linked a specific song for each that I enjoy but in no way feel obligated to listen to any of them

[cityofmeliora]

notes / thoughts on the Papas' (lack of) involvement in the songwriting process and their connections to the concepts / themes of their albums

thanks for the kind words and thanks for the ask! these were great questions and really enjoyed writing this response. your questions really made me think! (and when i start thinking i always think too hard and take forever to answer– sorry this took so long!)

i'm putting these questions together because i feel they are closely related. this is a topic i've recently been thinking about a lot, actually.

A Ghoul Writer was first mentioned in that 2010 interview with Primo. the Ghoul Writer is Special Ghoul, the Nameless Ghoul character who gave interviews in Eras 2 and 3. in interviews with him, either he himself or the interviewers would usually mention he's the Writer. i'm not linking anything specific here because you can find this happening in pretty much any Era 2 / 3 interview. (though there's one Era 2 Nameless Ghoul interview that refers to the Writer as a separate character.)

the only Papa who wrote his own music was Nihil. the music video for The Future Is A Foreign Land shows that he and his Nameless Ghouls wrote the song together, and he's credited as a writer on Seven Inches Of Satanic Panic. (pic: back of the SIOSP record)

after Nihil, none of the Papas were involved in the songwriting process. everything after Nihil was written by A Ghoul Writer.

PITCHFORK: On the new album, the songs/lyrics are credited to "A Ghoul Writer." Are you this "Ghoul Writer"? If so, what inspired the words? PAPA EMERITUS: I am not the Ghoul Writer. Pitchfork (April 2013)

Does Papa contribute to the composing process? NAMELESS GHOUL: No, Papa doesn’t contribute to the song-writing. Metal Paths (August 2015)

so the later Papas were interpreters of the music, not writers.

as for the question of whether the Papas embody the sins of society or criticize the sins of society by parodying them, i think it's a bit of both– and i think it depends on which perspective we're looking from.

obviously from a real-world perspective, Ghost as a whole is meant to criticize and parody the issues the music is about, and the personality and characterization of each Papa is closely tied to the themes of his album.

from an in-universe lore perspective, as interpreters of the music, each Papa has his own relationship with the themes of his album. i think the Ghoul Writer writes each album for / about the Papa who's going to perform it. however, this is not necessarily a positive gesture.

here are my notes / thoughts on how each Papa relates to the themes of his album:

(trigger warning for mentions of misogynistic violence / rape / forced pregnancy)

Opus Eponymous and Primo: Primo refuses to comment on his interpretation of Opus Eponymous, but it's pretty clear what he thinks. Primo is a misanthrope who believes humans are “vermin” that have doomed themselves due to their “intellectual decline”. in his eyes, humanity is unworthy of life and will eventually be destroyed. Opus Eponymous has been described as an "orthodox devil-worshipping" album, and it is a very violent album, which is great for Primo because he's an orthodox devil worshiper and he loves violence and murder and wants everyone to die. 'Elizabeth' celebrates an alleged serial killer who is said to have killed hundreds of women / girls. 'Stand By Him' is about a woman being raped by a priest, who then accuses her of witchcraft and has her burned at the stake in order to cover up the assault. and the overall narrative of Opus Eponymous is about a woman being raped and forced to carry + birth the Antichrist, which will eventually kill her. this is something Primo thinks is good and anticipates happening because he believes in the cult very literally and agrees with its message / mission of human extinction. Primo is definitely a villain.

Infestissumam and Secondo: interestingly, there is actually an instance of Papa telling us about his interpretation of this album. in Secondo's own words, "the new album is about the presence of the Devil. The title, Infestissumam, means 'the biggest threat' and refers literally to the arrival of the Antichrist, but what it is also is about is what man has traditionally regarded as diabolical presence– namely female form and swagger." Infestissumam is about how humanity can connect to the presence of the Devil, both physically and spiritually. i think this theme really shows through Secondo. to him, all the things traditionally regarded as sin –especially sexuality– are good things. to him, Satan is the way to freedom and enlightenment. on the flipside, all the things promoted by christianity –holiness and virtue and repression– are stupid and stifling. Secondo is a jerk and he loves to have sex and party and he just doesn't care. Secondo, more than any other Papa, is dedicated to indulging in sin and saying "fuck you" to christianity.

Meliora and Terzo: it's complicated. i don't want to give a detailed explanation right now because i already have a separate post in my drafts about my analysis of Terzo's relationship with the themes of Meliora (it will be long). for now, this is what i'll say: Meliora is about the absence of god, and it's described as futuristic and "pre-apocalyptic." the title "Meliora" means "for the pursuit of better", but it's meant to be ironic. it's about the mistakes people make / the bad things people do in pursuit of better. so as your ask states, it criticizes ambition, greed, and abuse of power. i think Terzo wants to criticize those sins. but i think that he also embodies them, to a certain extent, and i think Meliora is also criticizing him.

Prequelle and Cardinal Copia: we don't really have any canon material that indicates Cardi's personal opinions on the album, but there is certainly a connection between the character and the concept / themes of the album. Prequelle is described as a "positive" album about the plague. it's an album about society falling apart during the apocalypse. it's also an album about celebration and survival in spite of being faced with the inevitability of death. i think Cardi certainly embodies this. Cardi is surrounded by death. Prequelle Era begins with Papas I, II, and III being murdered in order to promote Cardi's success, and it ends with Papa Nihil dying, which allows Cardi to ascend and become Papa IV. in a way, Cardi is both a plague rat and a survivor. it's not his fault they died. he didn't ask for them to be killed, and he was not their killer. but he is the herald and the carrier of the true killer, the actual driving force behind everything (Sister Imperator). through all this, Cardi is having a good time! he's dancing the night away! he's glad everyone standing in his way has dropped dead! he is a rising star and he feels invincible! and he is certain he will survive this.

IMPERA and Papa Emeritus IV: the main themes of IMPERA are "spiritual annihilation", reactionary sentiment, and regression. it's about how people who fear progress are afraid of losing their sense of meaning / purpose and their place in the world, so they turn to misogyny, violence, religious dogma, and fascism. they cling to the idea of having a cause to fight for. i think Cardi is certainly criticizing these issues. he doesn't agree with any of this at all. however, there's still a connection between the narrative of IMPERA and Cardi's character arc in this Era. narratively, IMPERA is a concentrated / condensed version of the apocalyptic narrative that plays out through the first 4 albums. it's about the cyclical nature of the rise and fall of empires. IMPERA Era begins with Cardi ascending to the title of Papa. but after the feeling of triumph wore off, Cardi became very aware of and very fearful of his own inevitable end. he knew that no matter how great his achievements were, he would be forced to step down so his successor could take his place, just like his predecessors had for him. Rite Here Rite Now is about Cardi struggling to make peace with this idea. as a side note: i really like the irony of the fact that Cardi was never actually the leader of his own empire– he was a puppet emperor who got his marching orders from his mother. it connects to IMPERA's theme of political manipulation.

[deep-hearts-core]

The Competitive Barbershop Music Explainer, and Why More of Tumblr Should Be Obsessed With It.

I've been threatening this for now almost a year, so here it is. You probably have an idea in your head of what a barbershop quartet is: maybe you’ve seen The Music Man, or possibly the Louie Zong Hatsune Miku song. But barbershop exists as a hobby these days, too, and there are parts of it that are deeply cool and nerdy. Some of you--gasp--might actually enjoy it. 

What the hell is barbershop music?

Barbershop music got its name from the Black barbershop social space out of which it evolved. In the early 20th century, groups of guys would get together and harmonize as a way to pass the time. The style later got appropriated into white culture (I’m going to come back to this, keep reading) and evolved into what most people think of when they hear the phrase “barbershop quartet”. 

Barbershop got a lot less popular after the 1960s or so, but it’s not gone! Today, it’s overseen primarily by the Barbershop Harmony Society (formerly the Society and Preservation for Barbershop Quartet Singing in America, but… that’s long…), which organizes contests and codifies the “rules” of what barbershop is and how it’s different from other a cappella. Those rules are mostly music theory stuff, which I won’t go into here for fear of boring people, but if anyone is curious my askbox is open :D 

It’s not just quartets, either. There are also choruses that sing in the same four-part style, following the same music rules as the quartets, and they compete too. This is how I got involved.

Why is Tumblr supposed to enjoy this?

Reason #1: The competition. I’ve been on Tumblr for several years, and do you know what we love? Ranking things, picking favorites, and watching talented people do their thing. It’s actually kind of similar to Eurovision--there’s a jury and a points system, and people get mad about it every year; there’s a qualifying round and a nerve-wracking calloff; it’s even international! BHS operates in the US and Canada, and most competing groups are from here, but there are sizable scenes in the UK, Sweden, Australia, and Aotearoa, as well as smaller organizations across Western Europe and beyond. The Japanese organization held its first ever competition this year! Regional contests happen all over once or twice a year, culminating in the international competition the first week of July, where quartets and choruses battle it out to be the best of the best. People have favorite groups and try to guess where people are going to place each year. If you’re me, you can even do the Eurovision fan thing and overanalyze the running order. 

Reason #2: The talent. Listen, many of these people are incredibly talented singers. Take The Clementones from Denmark, for example, who delivered amazing Addams Family character work this year. Or Smoke Ring, the New York City-based quartet trying to singlehandedly make barbershop sexy again. I could give you so many examples of singers who can hold long notes forever and ever, but I’ll show restraint and only link two: Vocal Spectrum and Midtown. And of course I have to link this fucking amazing Hunchback of Notre Dame medley. Many singers also arrange songs specifically for their own groups. If you’re a music nerd in any way, this is for you.

Also, if you enjoy niche subcultures or #hobbydrama, there’s so much to rotate in your brain. This is part of what hooked me initially. 

But it's racist/culturally appropriated!

Well, you’re not wrong… but so are a lot of things. Bear with me for a second. I'm not going to come out and blindly defend the history and say oh there's nothing wrong with the organization we can't blame them. The organization was segregated for a long time. Women were only allowed to join as full members in 2018. The Black origins of barbershop singing were actively obscured by SPEBSQSA for decades and have only recently become well-known to most members. Hell, when the BHS went co-ed a splinter organization formed to try and keep the hobby all-male. There is bad history.

BUT. People are trying. There's a sizable contingent of young queer people who do well and become well-connected within BHS--including Smoke Ring, who I linked above. They’re causing a nonzero amount of controversy and are visibly queer and something new and unapologetic about that. More and more nonwhite people are joining and finding success competitively. Academics on the subject actively spread the history that barbershop is a Black genre, and this is increasingly common knowledge especially among young barbershoppers. The most successful barbershoppers in Aotearoa (BHNZ) are predominantly Māori and Pasifika. The BHS board, while they do not have any real understanding about how to execute this at all, does at least want to reckon with the history and is, in theory, trying. For all its many, many faults, there are good people here who are making change.

Ok fine, you've got me. Now what?

Go click on all the links in this post and then let the YouTube algorithm do its work. Also, send me asks! I can go on about this shit forever and ever.

Here are some more suggestions for you:

the chorus performance that first got me interested

Panic! at the Disco but it’s barbershop

these guys also do Spiderman! 

girls who will step on you and you will like it

the air raid warden song from that one tumblr post

air raid warden guys sing about ducks

totally not never gonna give you up. what? what are you talking about?

the first ssaa group to medal in bhs have since changed their lineup but this performance reigns eternal

And if you like to sing, see if there's a chorus (click here for SSAA only) or chapter nearby. I won't get preachy and say you'll have a great experience no matter what. Sometimes people suck; I have the luck to live in a major city on the East Coast and I can say with reasonable confidence that not everyone is going to be as chill as my people are. However, this is such a small space that everyone will be excited about a new person coming in and will likely give you a little leeway. 

I've only been doing this for a year and a half, but I can easily say that I love it and it's changed me. So, even if you scrolled to the bottom of this post rolling your eyes because I should just shut up about this already, thanks for listening. <3

[silksworn]

🍝💖 and I didn't see it on the list but what music have you been vibing with lately too? <3

🍝 — favorite food(s)?

oof I have,,, a lot. I really like most types of seafood! Most things coconut or mango 😋 for specific dishes palak paneer and mapo tofu come to mind. Oooh or french onion soup or stuffed shells and...I'll stop myself there. My favorite desserts would have to be cannoli or green tea ice cream.

💖 — what was one of the greatest/happiest moments you’ve had in the rpc?

Well, I haven't been in this specific rpc for too long so all I'd really be able to say would be something sappy like meeting you! 😙🖤 But if we're talking general rpc experiences, I've been in quite a few over the years. And when I played canon characters I never really was one to interact much with duplicates (though I had no issues being mutuals with them), but one fellow Zevran rper was an incredible artist and let me use their art specifically for icons as well and they were just. So sweet and nice and it felt good that they trusted me to use their art (with credit). And in general I've just met so many lovely, incredible people rping. Some of my best friends in the entire world I've met through writing on tunglr, so even if things aren't the same as they were almost 10 years ago when I first started rping, I'm glad to be back and doing it again. It's the sense of community that makes it really worthwhile.

🎧 music!

Gods, I listen to such a wide variety of music and I almost always have something playing in the background. I tend to listen to a lot of metal/alt-metal, but I also listen to pop and k-pop and rap and goth-rock and punk?? Basically anything that catches my ear, I'm not particularly genre-loyal. Currently I've been listening to a lot of Deftones, Blackbriar, Baek Yerin, BAND-MAID, In this Moment, Boy Harsher, MUNA ! I could go on but I'd be here all day.

Munday Asks / @fatewoven

[shepscapades]

DBHC [Detroit Become Hermitcraft] AU MASTERPOST

This is a compiled list of links to every major dbhc post, including links to art, a list of tags that I use to organize everything for this au on my blog, character tags, and any other content for the au that you may want to specifically look for! I will do my best to update this Masterpost with every new major post I publish, so feel free to keep checking the original post (not reblogs, which will not retain edits) for new content! (Likewise, if you stumble upon a link that doesn't seem right, please feel free to let me know!)

Everything is organized below the read more by an Overview of information about the au and content organized by character. Within each character's section, posts are organized in a narrative chronological order-- NOT the order in which the posts were published. Most characters are organized in groups so links do not appear more than once.

Thank you for reading and enjoying my silly au! It's baffling to me how many people have found an interest in or love for this project, and everyone's support, encouragement, and general insanity means the world to me! <3

OVERVIEW

Dbhc, or the Detroit Become Hermitcraft AU, is an au that started as a joke and very quickly stopped being a joke LKFJGDG It’s called Detroit Become Hermitcraft, but not really because it has anything to do with the base game DBH– really, I only yoinked the android mechanics and inserted them into the minecraft-based world of hermitcraft. It’s an au that starts in Hermitcraft Season 8 (aka, many of the first androids were built for the beginning of s8 in this au), meaning that the seasons prior in this au do not technically have those hermits as part of their history. The Life Series are canon to this au, but like earlier hermitcraft seasons, 3rd Life is missing all of the android hermits due to it having taken place prior to HC Season 8.

GUIDE TO ANDROIDS - An official guide to how androids function, for those unfamiliar with dbh androids!

TAG LIST

#dbhc – any and everything dbhc! #dbhc art – any art, comics, or silly doodles that feature the dbhc characters #dbhc ask – any response to an ask or submission that I answer related to dbhc– could be silly asks or asks related to lore! #dbhc music – any art or asks in which I speak about the music on the dbhc playlists or use the songs as inspiration for art of the narrative #dbhc fanart – any dbhc art not made by me! #dbhc fanfic – any dbhc writing not written by me! #dbhc writing – works of writing that either I’ve done or works that I consider canon to the au! (see below for links to each of these works) #dbhc sillies – these are usually asks I’ve answered that include ridiculous doodles or humorous references to more serious or angsty lore posts #dbhc theories – not a consistent tag, but something I decided to start using for asks that have interesting theories that I don't want to confirm or deny. Also used in general for large theory-based asks/my reactions to them #dbhc mechanics – any explanations related to the way the androids function [i'm still currently in the process of going back through everything and working this tag in!] #dbhc ref – official reference sheets for the characters #dbhc explained – Any major comic that I've broken down into explained details and ramblings!

CHARACTER TAG LIST:

Character tags will be listed as #dbhc [name]. They contain both art of those characters and any mentions/discussions of them from asks. If a character is discussed or shown in any capacity, those posts should have the respective character tags! I believe these are all of the characters discussed/referenced so far:

#dbhc android 24 || #dbhc beef || #dbhc bdubs || #dbhc cleo || #dbhc cub || #dbhc doc || #dbhc etho || #dbhc false || #dbhc gem || #dbhc grian || #dbhc hypno || #dbhc impulse || #dbhc iskall || #dbhc jevin || #dbhc joe || #dbhc joel || #dbhc jimmy || #dbhc keralis ||#dbhc mumbo || #dbhc pearl || #dbhc ren || #dbhc scar || #dbhc skizz || #dbhc tango || #dbhc wels || #dbhc xb || #dbhc xisuma || #dbhc zed

CHARACTER POST LIST

Since Tumblr has a link embed limit of 100, I had to move every character section to it's own post :[ Which is a little annoying, but giving each character group their own post will hopefully prevent any issues going forward as I continue to add to the au without fear of hitting a link limit.

As mentioned above, the below individual posts are organized by Characters or Groups of Characters. Within each section, drawings are organized by NARRATIVE CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER (Not the order in which they were posted/published).  These links contain links to posts/art specifically centered around the characters they're listed under. All posts that have a collection of characters, moments, or drawings not centered around any one specific character/characters will be found under "Other Drawings!" Stuff from Secret Life, Decked out, and other silly drawings can be found there. Character's are often cameo'd all over the place, so if you're looking for all of the content of a specific character, your best bet is perusing their respective character tag (listed above)! The posts below are to present a better/more cohesive idea of the ordered narrative of each character.

ETHO + BDUBS

MUMBO + CO.

DOC + CO.

IMPULSE + CO.

TANGO + CO.

CUB + CO.

JOE + CO.

SKIZZ + CO.

XISUMA + CO.

XB + CO.

OTHER DRAWINGS [GROUPS/COLLECTIONS]

WRITING WORKS

[x] Don't Let it Reach the Heart (Coming Soon!)

Canon Events. To Me (by other authors!) <3

[x] @tunastime Gear of the Heart, Turning [ethubs] [x] @tunastime Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? [docsuma]

Fanfic Works I consider closely adjacent to canon:

[x] @set-in-stardust [ethubs first kiss!] [x] @set-in-stardust [s9 reset etho re-deviates] [x] @drachis917 [Impulse meets Gem!] [x] @listentothelittlebird [A Visit To Doc's Skyblock Jail]

[0310s]

seventeen and their crush making them a playlist 🎵

summary: friends-to-lovers!!! their reactions when you make a playlist for them. the premise is that you're friends with them and they have a crush on you!

word count: 856

jeonghan

౨ৎ when you send jeonghan a spotify link at 3am, he's puzzled at why you're still awake at such an atrocious hour. he sees the message hours later when he wakes up and finds out you've made him a playlist of japanese songs, comprised of mainly gentle indie and acoustic tracks.

"since you're learning japanese, i thought it would help to listen to music in the same language!" you declare through text. he's genuinely awed you remembered he was learning japanese even if he mentioned it only in passing, and even more touched that you thought of curating a playlist based on his own taste in music. it means that you paid attention to him and what he liked.

jeonghan uses your playlist to study the language diligently, translating lyrics and repeating them out loud multiple times as practice. the next time he sees you, he insists on buying you coffee for a week straight, and he's not accepting no for an answer. he also clings to you like a leech, demanding that you accept his help with literally everything, from studies to getting groceries. later in that week, he also vows to help you with your love life by asking you out on a date. and who are you if not helpless to jeonghan's whims to say no?

jihoon

౨ৎ "so what do you listen to while working out?" you ask jihoon. surprisingly, he listens to nothing. "so you just do chest or legs for an hour and a half straight without a soundtrack to keep you going? you monster, that sounds like literal hell!" you gasp in pure, unadulterated horror. jihoon doesn't think it's much of a problem until you send him a playlist titled "playlist to work out to". he sends you a laughing emoji, thinking it was just a joke based on your conversation from days ago, but when you tell him you made it specifically for him, his entire tune changes.

when jihoon checks the playlist, he notices how it's perfectly an hour and a half, enough time for his work out with minutes to spare for his cool down—now he has to listen to music while working out. you chose the perfect songs: heavy-bass, hard-hitting hip-hop at the start of the playlist to pump him up and relatively calmer songs along the end for when he winds down. he doesn't tell you he's listened to it while at the gym for weeks straight, so much that he's memorized the lyrics to all the tracks as well as the transitions from one song to the next. the rest of the guys at the gym wonder why he's suddenly wearing headphones, only to realize why when they see his phone.

when you mention the playlist to him in passing, jihoon pretends to be normal about it, but when you get all excited about how you based it off the playlists he had on his spotify page, he gets flustered and tongue-tied. he knows you're a kind person, but he falls deeper into you, knowing you'd take the time to do something as meaningful as this for him. still, he's busted when his friends pass by and tell you he's been listening your playlist at the gym for weeks on end. in the end, jihoon's embarrassment is worth it when you ask him out on a date yourself.

vernon

౨ৎ you and vernon listen to completely different genres of music. while you enjoy your daily dose of r&b, vernon's headphones are filled with sounds of pop punk and hyperpop. despite this, you and vernon share your current favorite tracks with each other, taking time to listen to each other's recommendations. you possess a mutual respect for both your preferences and don't feel like you necessarily need to have the same music taste to be friends.

however, vernon's in for a surprise when on his birthday, you hand him a mixtape in the form of a cd with a doodle of you and him on it. "vernon and (y/n)'s mixtape :)," it reads on the cd in loopy handwriting, complete with a smiley face. "hi, vernon," you cheerily say from his laptop speakers. he shivers at the sound of your dulcet voice (cute!!!!). "i hope you enjoy this little mixtape i made you. it's a bunch of songs i thought you'd like based on your music taste! enjoy and happy birthday," you end with a giggle.

on his first listen, he can't believe what he's hearing. you've compiled some of his favorite songs in this mixtape, alongside other pop punk and hyperpop tracks he loves but has never shared with you. there are some songs from the same genres he's never heard of, and he becomes immediately obsessed with them. on his third listen, he still can't believe how you knew exactly the type of songs he'd like. in return, he makes you a mixtape of r&b songs he thinks you'd like. at the end of the mixtape, he confesses to you and nervously asks you out on a date. vernon receives a call immediately from you: "i've been waiting this whole time for you to ask!"

౨ৎ 0310s © 2023 ౨ৎ

[basu-shokikita]

My Analysis on The Duel

Over the course of my stay in the MTL fandom I've seen several takes on what The Duel means so I wanted to throw my interpretation!

For the record, I used the isolated guitar tracks of Toki and Skwisgaar that user crystalsmeth made for this. Here is Toki's version and here is Skwisgaar's version of The Duel, so feel free to listen to them while you read this. Or you can also listen to the regular version Spotify with your headphones or something.

As we know, Toki walks into the auditions late and begs Dethklok, Skwisgaar specifically, for a chance to prove himself. Skwisgaar accepts and immediately starts playing, leading to the legendary battle.

From the beginning of the song until 0:12, Skwisgaar is the one playing. He's doing the call and he's reckless, unafraid to destroy Toki the way he destroyed every other auditioner.

As such, an afraid but determined Toki answers from 0:13 to 0:20. The rest of Dethklok are shocked, since no one else before him was able to hold against Skwisgaar for even a verse.

While they're metaphorically transported into the sky and turned into mythical beasts, the call and answer dynamic continues. Though their verses are much shorter than the beginning.

Side detail: Toki's verses here are a bit clumsy and improvised, reflecting of his nervousness.

However, around 0:25, a change occurs. When Skwisgaar plays his part, he doesn't stop to listen to Toki's response. On the contrary, he continues playing, and thus creating an harmony with him.

Visually, this is the moment where the tension starts building up, both of them wanting to overcome the other though Toki is visibly behind Skwisgaar.

Toki catches up at 0:38 and they face each other. The call and answer dynamic resumes briefly and intensely as they shoot beams at one another.

While spinning so fast that you can barely tell them apart, the harmony once again returns (0:51). The whirlwind of pink representing Skwisgaar and teal representing Toki only grows bigger, and they're entangled with each other.

There's a sudden cut at 0:55, and in comes the baroque segment. They're still harmonizing but the musical style has changed and so have their clothes and attitudes. They have unimpressed, smug faces, akin to the aristocracy of the time.

But then, around 1:10, their expressions change, indicating the end of this relatively low-pressure part of the exchange. Their fighting is about to resume.

It's 1:15 and they're playing together. But here's the key. It's not call and answer, it's not a harmony they're both fighting off either. It's lead and rhythm guitar. But it's not Skwisgaar playing the lead.

It's Toki.

That's right, go ahead and listen to the isolated tracks I linked at the beginning of the post. For a brief moment, Toki is playing the lead guitar while Skwisgaar takes care of the rhythm guitar. And guess, what? They're happy about it!

As they soar into the skies, they're smiling at each other. Yes, it's faint but you can see it. Both Skwisgaar and Toki joyfully staring at each other, while playing together. Skwisgaar, who minutes ago was defeating auditioners left and right. Skwisgaar, who said they didn't need another guitarist in the band. Skwisgaar who didn't think anybody could match him, less alone conquer him.

That Skwisgaar, relegated to playing the rhythm guitar to this boy he just met and actually enjoying it. I tend to believe this is the moment where he decided he wanted Toki in the band, and by this point on he was just playing for the fun of it, rather than to defeat Toki.

From 1:23 onwards, they're harmonizing though there's something different about it this time, and this is better appreciated with earphones, by the way!

So far, we've had Skwisgaar's guitar come from the right channel, and Toki's guitar come from the left channel. But here, their guitars come together, right in the middle. You can try it with your earphones, if you take off the right or left one during this part, you can still listen to the harmony perfectly, whereas before where you would effectively mute Toki or Skwisgaar's guitar depending on which one you took off.

While Skwisgaar and Toki play in the beautiful skies, surveilled by their animal spirits, their music has fused into one. They have become a single entity.

The call and answer dynamic returns at 1:40 and so do the guitars to their respective channels. The conclusion to this fight is near and the visuals mirror it too, as they turn night-like.

While Toki technically loses the battle, he doesn't lose the challenge, as he's accepted into Dethklok because of his playing and that was the whole point of the auditions.

So, here you have it, my lengthy analysis on The Duel. I haven't really seen people talk about the fact that Skwisgaar, even for a few seconds, allowed Toki to play lead. And it's a fact that drives me insane! I mean, we're talking about Skwisgaar, the guy that truly believes himself to be better than anyone...It really goes to that he respects Toki's playing more than he'll ever admit. Musical soulmates, man...

[beetheyapper]

MUSIC I THINK THE POETS WOULD ENJOY

this is not time period accurate but i do not care. i at least tried to keep it pre-2000s. also i’m 100% projecting my music taste onto them. deal with it? spotify playlists, each of which has around 30 songs, are linked below each description ! i spent forever on this 😭

Charlie Dalton

i’m not sure that i could pinpoint very many artists he’d particularly like, but this is a classic rock boy right here. he’d be into ac/dc, motley crue, led zeppelin, etc. perhaps a bit of duran duran (this is where i’m projecting the most.) songs about s3x and women, and songs that make him feel like the rebel he is. (this playlist has been gale hansen approved on twitter btw)

Neil Perry

oh i just know this kid would be into some funk and pop, especially 80s and perhaps even new wave (i’m again projecting). now THIS is a duran duran fan (specifically their early stuff), which is unsurprising since the lead singer has a drama degree. he’d also probably like fleetwood mac, and would be well-versed in the band’s drama. duran duran, wham!, fleetwood mac, abba, maybe even some hall & oates. songs with complex lyrics and also songs that make him wanna dance. lots of upbeat stuff because though he has things that bother him, he’d rather do anything but dwell on them.

Todd Anderson

honestly, considering they’re roommates, i feel like neil would’ve had a bit of an impact on todd’s music taste, so there’s some band influence there—but regardless, i think todd would be into more mellow and emotional songs. jeff buckley comes to mind, along with the eagles, the beatles and maybe a splash of the smiths also pls pretend now and then didn’t come out last year. he would also be letting it linger i fear

Knox Overstreet

knox would be similar to Charlie, as they probably bond over shared music taste just as much as everything else. very heavy on the classic rock, but a lean more towards songs about needing someone and love songs as he pines for Chris. Tom Petty, Robert Palmer, The Cars, and a bunch of songs introduced to him by Charlie. He sticks more to genre/theme than to a specific artist methinks

Richard Cameron

contrary to what some may think, i think Cameron would absolutely groove to some rock n roll. HOWEVER. he is a 60s-70s rock n roll elitist. he thinks Billy Idol’s cover of Mony Mony is a disgrace. he wholeheartedly believes the Beatles are the best band to have ever graced the planet. The Beatles, The Beach Boys. The Rolling Stones, etc. Maybe even some Simon & Garfunkel. Him and Charlie argue a lot about which decades were the best years of rock music

Gerard Pitts

free my boy. he just wants to dance he ain’t do nothing wrong. his music taste has definitely been influenced by some of the other poets, in the sense that if he hears a song with a funky beat that makes him want to dance, it’s added to his mixtape IMMEDIATELY. for this reason, i’m thinking lots of funk and groove. play that funky music white boy! Bee Gees, ABBA, Talking Heads, Pet Shop Boys, etc. as long as he can dance to it he could care less who it’s by

Steven Meeks

another old rock, but more on the calm side with some hints of folk and fun. Donovan, The Beatles (paul is his fav for sure), The Beach Boys, and he definitely loves every white person anthem, including Sweet Caroline. he likes to groove with Pitts but also like soothing music to study to !!! i had to consult my friend on this one i fear i was drawing a blank

AND THAT is my opinion on each of the poets’ music taste. did i squeeze Duran Duran into almost all of them? perhaps. they’re my fav band let me live… feel free to listen to the playlists (please listen to them. pls i don’t want to have made them in vain.) and maybe even become spotify moots with me :D

[kuroenanan]

Heya! 2nd req I have made for this blog for now:'D Can I request for all Niigo members(separate) x reader; Where the reader is basically a huge fan of Niigo though is in denial that they're too much of a downbad fan for their songs. But one day, they catch the reader screaming every lyrics of their song in their room(you can pick whichever song of your choice!) and gets embarrassed to find out that the specific character was actually watching and the reader tries to act as if nothing happened. It is also your choice if the reader is actually good at singing or if they're LITERALLY screaming the lyrics wahaha

Diehard fan

a/n ; this is such a funny request. please enjoy!

a/n 2 ; i included my favourite commissioned song of each member, with a link to each! pls listen to them. they’re great.

characters ; kanade, mafuyu, ena, and mizuki.

# kanade.

since the members of nightcord are anonymous, and you don’t really know that your girlfriend is the composer of your favourite group, kanade can get a bit embarrassed whenever you talk about how amazing her group’s songs are!

she finds it a bit funny how you tend to deny how big of a fan you are, and if it were up to her, she’d gladly give you the title of number one fan.

one day, however, she doesn’t expect to hear you singing passion at 25:00 in your bedroom when she comes over for her weekly visit.

she stands there, mouth agape; your voice is beautiful, and your singing no less. you manage to hit every note with no issue, how come you’ve never sung for her before? she’d love to hear more.

when you find out she’s been standing there the entire time, your face flushes red and you pretend nothing was happening. she finds it adorable. <3

# mafuyu.

she can’t quite explain it, but mafuyu feels a certain warmth in her chest whenever you talk about how much you love nightcord, especially when you talk about how the lyrics of each song resonate with you.

she doesn’t understand why you deny it, though; if you like nightcord so much, why not express it?

it’s not until she finds you in your bedroom, as she arrived to your house for a ‘study session’ (a lie she told to her mother), singing saisei, that she seems to understand.

were you shy about singing in front of her? ashamed? you shouldn’t be — she finds your voice so comforting, and mafuyu feels a small, genuine smile form on her face.

it goes away, however, as soon as you notice her standing outside your door and go beet red; coughing into your fist and beckoning her to come inside. you really should sing for her sometime.

# ena.

ena can’t help but feel a bit proud of herself whenever you gush about nightcord — especially when you mention the artwork of each music video. that’s her art you’re praising; she wishes you knew that you were dating the illustrator.

she always asks why you deny it, and you respond with “i’m not denying anything!” which always makes her giggle.

nothing can stop her from being shocked, happy, and head over heels all at the same time, when she finds you in your bedroom singing i am rain, though.

it was a relatively new song from her group, and the fact that you already know each lyric by heart? could she be more in love?

she laughs as you realize she had been there the whole time, a lovestruck grin on her face as she enters your room.

# mizuki.

mizuki loves when you talk about nightcord! they can’t help but feel giddy whenever you mention the music videos, and how well they’re edited. that’s their work! and! you’re praising it!

they don’t question you when you deny your love for nightcord, only smiling as you continue to gush about it.

though, they’re absolutely awestruck by you, when they find you singing kimi no yoru wo kure in your room.

they feel like crying; you’re singing beautifully, and a song that’s dear to their heart, too. just when i thought i couldn’t love them more. they think to themselves.

giggling when you realize they’ve been there the whole time, they give you a hug; beyond grateful that you’re in their life.

[whumpofalltime]

friends, enemies, lurkers, we've made it to the

Whump Of All Time Finals!

What's the whumpiest whump of all time? Help us decide!

Find links and propaganda under the cut. Quarterfinalist and later match-ups are untagged, so your votes and reblogs matter! Make sure you click through to the main blog to find the run-off poll to crown third place, as well!

ROTK:

(spider attack, rescue)

"The Lord of The Rings, when Frodo gets bitten by a giant spider and left for dead by Sam at the end of The Two Towers, and then when Sam finds him in The Return of the King being held prisoner and whipped by an orc."

The Young Blood Chronicles (Save Rock and Roll's music videos, Fall Out Boy):

(link)

"Everyone gets bloodied, bruised, beaten up, tortured, rescued, limbs are amputated - it's brutal. Alone Together is particularly strong."

sorry for being late, but you want YBC propaganda? then you're getting YBC propaganda. I know you're a FOB fan, but I will be writing this for the benefit of those who don't know what YBC is, for better propaganda purposes! and yeah this is gonna be LONG. sorry.

So! The Youngblood Chronicles (shortened to YBC) is a series of 11 music videos made by the band Fall Out Boy, for their album Save Rock And Roll (you know this album, it's the one with My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark on it). The whole thing is quite short, less than fifty minutes long (even shorter if you don't count the uncut version's credits!!), and every single music video has some element of whump in it. This propaganda is gonna break down each individual music vid, and at i'll also talk a little bit about the irl context the album was written in, and why even THAT can be a little bit whumpy if you're insane like me!

(note: i'm going in the original release order over the uncut order, hence why i'm starting with MSKWYDITD instead of The Phoenix)

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark: Arguably the least whump-y out of all of them, but man, seeing all of Fall Out Boy's discography and memorabilia be burnt while people are dancing around the destruction? Man, when you know the real life stuff (the reception the band had in 2009, leading to them to take a three year hiatus)... and at the end, you see four guys bound in the back of a van!! And that van is getting burnt!! Burn everything you love and burn the... ashes.

The Phoenix: NOW here's the first of MANY whump tastes you'll get. Patrick Stump, the singer/cutie of the band, gets kidnapped, tied to a chair, has his hand CHOPPED OFF and mailed to his bandmate/best friend Pete Wentz, then gets tied down and utterly tortured by women who are laughing at his misery the entire time, getting prodded and stabbed by tools for... well, you'll see. By the end of the video, Pete and the other two members of FOB (Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley) have been kidnapped by these mysterious women too, with Pete specifically getting kidnapped by the blonde woman he was in bed with when Patrick's hand got delivered to him. If you enjoy cute boys getting tied down, covered in blood, and writhing around like worms while getting tortured... well you'll enjoy all of YBC but specifically you'll enjoy this!! I did :D! The war is won, before it's begun, release the doves, surrender love...

Young Volcanoes: Good news, FOB has been reunited! Bad news, by the women who dismembered Patrick! And now all the band members are tied to chairs, hooked up to IVs full of god knows what types of drugs, and blindfolded (all except Patrick). They are then forced to drink, snort hard drugs, and are force fed Patrick's organs! Yep, all four of them are forced to eat their lead singer's guts, and are so fucking drugged up they don't even realize what's happening (and now you know what the women were doing to him in the last mv, and you even get a nice little shot of the hack job of stitching him back up)!! Patrick hallucinates everyone having fun, but of course, at the end, all of them are knocked out because of the drugs. Americana, exotica, do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby?

Alone Together: This is the song the OG propaganda mentioned, and for good reason. All four of them are shipped off into little personalized torture rooms, and, well, tortured! Pete is able to break out and even steals the hook from the girl who was torturing him, but little does he know that'll be his own undoing... also, in general, this song has some whumpy elements, specifically the line "my heart is like a stallion/they love it more when it's broke-in"... but notice how easy it is to hear "broke-in" as "broken"! At the end of the video, Pete is at least able to find Patrick (Joe and Andy have NOT been having a good time, either!! But sadly, they aren't found by Pete, but Pete DOES find Big Sean), and is even able to attach the hook to the stump (ha!) where his hand used to be. But something is clearly wrong with Patrick now. His eyes are yellow, and as the song ends, we hold on him, sneering and twitching. This is the road to ruin - and we're started at the end...

The Mighty Fall: First off if you say this is the worst song off of SRAR I will hunt you for sport. OKAY ANYWAYS, chronologically this comes after MSKWYDITD, and yeah, the four guys are the members of FOB. Pete is able to free himself with Patrick's new hook hand, and is able to get the other three out while Pete is hacking up a lung from the fire they just barely escaped. But they're not done getting their shit rocked yet. A gang of children show up (the leader being the kid Patrick waved at right before he was kidnapped back in the Phoenix MV), and proceed to separate them and beat the living shit out of them. The leader kid who's chasing Patrick plays something on a boombox... which triggers Patrick to go yellow-eyed again (from here on out i'll call it "going Youngblood" or "Youngblood self"). It was confirmed in the commentary track that ANY music would cause him to go Youngblood. And knowing Patrick IRL fucking loves to create/compose music... yeah! Take something he loves and turn it into something that drives him insane!! I'm normal!! And also the irl parallel you could draw to his solo career doing the same thing to him (on a less uh Dramatic level but you know)!!! Ouch!!!! Big Sean is able to save Patrick, but at the cost of his own life (and a killer rap verse... HELL YEAH I'M A DICK GIRL, ADDICTED TO YOU). Oh, how the mighty fall in love...

Just One Yesterday: The last vestiges of comfort you're gonna get for a WHILE. The four are separated, getting even more beaten up, Pete vomits up a snake, Andy gets his shit rocked by a homeless guy, Joe has to use white sheets as a makeshift tourniquet bc his leg got fucked up in The Mighty Fall MV, and Patrick is picked up by a kind stranger (hi Foxes! you have a very pretty voice! PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL!). And finally, finally we get a hope spot. Fall Out Boy is reunited (the part where Andy just grabs onto Patrick's arm, in disbelief they're both alive... augh!!! AUGH!!!!), and for a moment, it seems they've been delivered to a hospital... before Foxes' eyes go completely black, looking at Patrick... and turns on the radio. She's able to trigger the Youngblood. And now Patrick is gone. The other three scramble into the hospital, Patrick not far behind, determined to kill them to stop the noise in his head. If Heaven's grief brings Hell's reign, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday...

Where Did The Party Go: Patrick, now fully consumed by the Youngblood brainwashing, is now stalking his bandmates in a hospital. Patrick is seeing visions of the hospital as an abandoned party, Andy has to painfully disinfect the wounds he's gotten, Pete is able to call for the police, and Joe... oh, poor Joe. He barricades himself into a room, but not well enough. Patrick finds him, and kills him, slitting his throat with the hook hand, showing no remorse at all... until Andy and Pete find them. The Youngblood wears off, and Patrick looks to what he's done, and is horrified at what he's done to his friend. And, bad news for him, the police are here, ready to arrest the murderer. All Andy and Pete can do is watch as tears roll down Patrick's eyes. And for the extra IRL context, this was the first song written for the album that made Pete and Patrick realize they had to get FOB back together... so lets match that with a music video where the member who helped get the band together in the first place dies. By the hands of the kid he found. Let's fade away together, one dream at a time...

Death Valley: Joe gets... uh, a little comfort? I mean, he thinks he's getting sent to heaven but goes to hell, buuuuut I think doing drugs in rock and roll hell with Tommy Lee is actually a pretty sweet deal, better than the deal the other three got! Pete and Andy are being interrogated while Patrick is in a jail cell. We find out that the cult that kidnapped them, Silence the Noise, is lead by Pete's girlfriend from WAAAAY back in the Phoenix MV, Courtney Love. And at the end of the MV... Patrick is bailed out of jail by Silence the Noise. They have him again. And this time, they're not gonna let him walk out until he's fully under their control. 'Cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you...

Rat a Tat: Silence the Noise has Patrick, and they utterly brainwash him, A Clockwork Orange style, with electroshock stimulation to keep him from looking away or closing his eyes, until there is nothing left. Patrick Stump does not exist anymore. Only the Youngblood, pliant under the control of Silence the Noise, tasked to destroy what he once loved; music. Andy dies at the hands of the cult, and now Pete has to protect a briefcase, the thing that got them into this mess, and keep it away from Silence the Noise, all while his best friend hunts him down. Are you ready for another bad poem?

Miss Missing You: THE WHUMPIEST OF THE WHUMP. What if we were best friends but you've been driven insane and I know the only way to stop you is to kill you and it was my fault you got into this mess and I was the one who gave you the weapon that will be my own undoing. What if we both died at the same time. What if we died, both of us failing the mission we had before us. What if that was a reference to one of their first music videos. What if this song was originally written for Patrick's solo album but he realized it was more of a Fall Out Boy song so it was scrapped until now. What if there's a legit argument to be made that half the lyrics for this song was written by Patrick. What if we were both boys. Grips walls, yeha i'm normal. If you don't watch ANY other music vid, watch Miss Missing You. Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.

Save Rock And Roll: And our final track gives us a final bit of comfort. Patrick is able to overcome the Youngblood, and gets into heaven, where all of FOB is finally, finally reunited. God (aka Elton John) gives them new instruments and brings them back to earth, so they can do what they love; play music together. Which just so happens to release people from the control of Silence the Noise! But, because we can't have nice things, a cult within Silence the Noise got a hold of the briefcase, and summoned a spirit that starts to kill everyone. FOB stands together, and blasts the evil spirit, the blood coming up to the gates of heaven and covering Elton John in it. And... that's how it ends. No true resolution. Just Elton John covered in blood, as the song fades out. Oh, no! Wherever I go, go! Trouble seems to follow! I only plugged in to save rock and roll!

UH. AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH. but i really wanted to express just how much WHUMP they manage to fit into less than fifty minutes, all backed by an amazing album colored by the three years they were apart. colored by how they grew, colored by how bad the hiatus was for Patrick specifically, colored by how Confessions of a Pariah got Pete to reach out to help him, and this album came out of it, Fall Out Boy came back out of it, and now here we are, ten years later, with the title track being performed every night for their concert, with all the band singing the final lines together, and the line you are what you love, not who loves you hitting every single night.

SORRY. LISTEN TO FALL OUT BOY. thanks for letting me rant.

[lesbianrobin]

ok since people r very into my chris fic i shall share some of my random behind the scenes thoughts while writing it:

adriana has literally been waiting her entire life for her obviously gay older brother who joined the army to avoid his wife and then moved to los angeles to be a sexy firefighter to COME OUT ALREADY and by the time we meet her in this fic she is like Vibrating with the need to be like EDDIE IS GAYYYYYYY ARE YOU PEOPLE BLIND??? which is why it takes like absolutely zero prodding from chris for her to spill all of eddie's business. i think when eddie was little he was a very obviously gay little boy and as he grew up he learned how to Be Normal but adriana never forgot and she's like deeply sad about it.

chris is So fucking miserable at his grandparents' house he misses video games so bad. i couldn't find a way to really incorporate this without it feeling like a cheap "look he's a TEEN BOY" thing but yeah the second he gets back home he is slamming that headset on and gaming until eddie tells him he has to take a break or he'll burn his eyes out of his sockets.

there are a Lot of songs on buck and eddie's joint depression playlist that i listed and then cut for practicality's sake but if there's any like interest in that i could maybe put together + link the full playlist for y'all?

buck's "maddie" playlist is entirely music he listened to growing up bc it makes him think of her. as a younger sibling my music taste from birth to like. age fifteen ish. was just wholly whatever my older sister listened to and i think buck is the same way. i don't think buck necessarily listens to this playlist on his own very often but if he's hanging out with maddie and/or babysitting jee-yun he'll put it on because it makes him happy to enjoy some 90s/00s nostalgia with his best girls. sometimes he'll play it in the car when he's driving chris somewhere because he wants to carry forward some of those good memories he has with maddie with chris.

buck and eddie's texts were written in order to coincide with each other! eddie texts more frequently than buck but i think if you pay attention you can sometimes tell which days buck Also sent chris a text bc they match. some of them were sent specifically in the wake of very emotionally taxing shifts where they both wanted so badly to call chris and beg him to come home but they knew that wouldn't go well and they didn't want to make chris feel guilty so they tried to play it cool.

speaking of buck and eddie: i don't think that eddie's conversation with chris is necessarily the First step in eddie realizing he's gay or moving toward something romantic with buck. keep in mind that chris has been gone for at least two weeks by the time he talks to either of them, and buck and eddie spend the vast majority of their time together. this fic is restricted to chris' pov, and he has no way of knowing whether, say, buck and tommy broke up, or whether his dad has been thinking about some things differently since he's been gone. buck and eddie Also have to spend twelve hours in a car together just the two of them between the end of the fic and their reunion with chris. this is not me saying that buck and tommy DID break up or that buddie got together while chris was away (i don't actually have a solid "canon" for where they're at), just that i intentionally left space for a wide range of possibilities due to chris' limited knowledge of what's going on with them!!

i kinda intentionally did not delve too deeply into the psychology of the diaz parents here because i think their behavior is a bit inscrutable to chris. the vast majority of his memories of them are from when he was really little, and therefore i think he doesn't actually know them very well as people. he knows that there's some tension between them and eddie, but prior to this fic he never really bothered to question Why. all he knows is that his grandparents will probably come and get him if he calls, and that it'll hurt his dad's feelings, and in the immediate aftermath of the kim debacle that's all he cares about. once he's in el paso, he starts noticing some things that make him a bit uncomfortable, but he never does determine for sure what their motivations and opinions are about this whole situation, whether they're treating him a certain way bc he's the grandkid or bc of his cerebral palsy, and whether their treatment of eddie really does stem from homophobia or not. at the end of the day he's thirteen years old and i wanted to leave his grandparents' True Selves as a bit of a mystery because 1. i don't think They necessarily know why they do what they do and 2. i don't think there's any one answer that would be satisfying.

chris literally had zero intention of saying anything to eddie about the Gay Thing he just is very much thirteen years old and emotional and he fundamentally Trusts his father to never like. lash out at him for saying something like that. so he doesn't try too hard to hold it back and impulsively says Hey Dad Are You Gay Maybe because he's never gone so long without talking to his dad before and he's just bursting with thoughts and feelings. he's not even trying to do a buddie matchmaking thing it's just that the easiest way to make his argument is to be like (points at buck).

[shepherds-of-haven]

The Shepherds of Haven Soundtrack (Volume 1) is Now Out!

Over the last several months, I've been working with the brilliant composer, Ivan Duch, to develop an official soundtrack for Shepherds of Haven! Volume 1 of that soundtrack is out today!

This volume contains 16 songs, including theme songs for specific characters like Shery, Riel, Chase, Red, and Trouble; motifs and signature music for the game and numerous locations throughout its alpha build; and so much more! 

Working with Ivan to create this album has been such a blast. I'm pretty new to working with a composer and commissioning custom music based on locations and characters that exist only in text (and my imagination), but Ivan is a bonafide genius and master of his craft. Seriously, if you have any desire to commission an orchestral or instrumental piece based on your own stories or characters, I can safely say you should run, not walk, to work with him! I have nothing but resounding praise for his work and how easy and fun this collaboration has been. :) Work on Volume 2 has already been started as well!

You can listen to the album at any of Ivan's links below. And please, give a shout-out to your favorite tracks! I'm over the moon about all of them... but Shery's Theme definitely makes me want to scream/cry/smile in the best way possible! 💖🎶

I hope you enjoy, and don't forget to give Ivan a follow, a share, or some praise if you feel like it! He has his entire library of music available to listen to as well, and it's all incredible: I've been listening to it myself while writing ShoH these last few months! 

(And last thing: if you want to read about Ivan's thought process when he was composing each song, try going to his individual songs page and click "Get it" on the song you want to see the description of. Here's Chase's Theme, for example! I just think it's really neat to see how he describes each track and his reasoning for each one!)

Links:

Ivan's Website 

Spotify 

Bandcamp 

[zgvlt]

sending your crush a survey form hcs part 4 second years x reader (separate) -> kalim, jamil, silver

general tags: gn reader, fluff + attempt at humor, sfw, not beta read, mix of text and images (for images, alt text/image description available)

other parts in this series

character: KALIM AL-ASIM premise/trope: sending your best friend a crush form. it's mutual but everybody... sort of just assumed that the two of you were already dating already

HOW HE (AND JAMIL) REACTS WHEN YOU SEND THE FORM LINK

Kalim's amused by many things, music one of the more significant interests he has. So, when he learned that he could customize the ringtones and notification sounds he has for all of his friends, he spends a lot of time assigning a tune for each person in his life.

It's why he immediately jumps up and searches for his phone when he hears the song he specifically chose for you.

Jamil gets it for him the second he recognizes the song playing because he's heard it so much it's ingrained in his memory.

(Kalim does not mute his phone unless specifically asked to. Usually for emergency purposes but Jamil doubts messaging you 24/7 qualifies as such).

Jamil checks the message briefly to make sure you're not getting hacked (it said you sent over a link and, well, there's been an increase in MagiCam accounts getting hacked lately...)

Jamil wishes he never checked it. When he gives Kalim his phone, he wants to walk away immediately. He does NOT want to be on the receiving end of the gushing, no way, absolutely not.

Even if it is a little cute, like some kind of fairy tale that he might have liked in his youth, he just wants to have some peace, and peace did not include Kalim yapping about how lovely and cool and amazing he thought you were.

Kalim's talking about how much he loves you and Jamil's immediate instinct is to sigh and ask why he won't tell you instead. You're his significant other or some other label anyway, right?

Kalim blinks in confusion, his fingers pausing the sticker spam he was inevitably doing.

"We're not dating though?" Kalim says. Jamil pops a blood vessel. "I wish we were! We could go on all sorts of cool dates, we could go visit my family, and then..."

Jamil tells him they literally already do that. They go on cool dates all the time. His family knows who you are (partially his fault, he let them know who Kalim spends all his time with these days, but obviously Kalim's fault for talking about you, too).

Jamil exits the room and tells Kalim to read the questions properly. He also says congratulations in advance.

Kalim's not dumb by any means, so when he realizes what the form is all about he's cheering and giggling to himself, like he wants to get his flying carpet to take a quick ride while, simultaneously, go get his drum kit so he could play his sudden excitement out.

His answers are equally excitable as your questions. Though it's mostly just vibes, he does get some really sweet answers out there about how much he likes you.

HOW HE ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

AFTER HE ANSWERS THE FORM

Your relationship had been a long time coming... At least, that was how you and Kalim saw it. The two of you were so intertwined in each other's lives that spending your futures together just made sense.

For everyone else, they had thought the relationship was already there in the first place, so imagine their surprise when Kalim announces that there was going to be a party, a party to celebrate his new relationship, with you as the guest of honor.

They call Jamil a traitor for not telling them you and Kalim hadn't actually been dating all this time. Jamil wants to explain that even he didn't know, but he decides it's more fun to pretend he was the outlier who knew the truth all along.

He's planning a celebration for you, actively participating in the creation and setting up process because it's important to him that you would enjoy. He's taking into account what food and drinks you enjoy, how much people you want to attend and who should be in attendance, the music you want playing, even the colors of the decorations.

Initially, he wanted the party to be a surprise but he can't resist calling you. He wants this to be a perfect gift for you! He has to make sure you like each and every thing, so he calls you every few minutes to ask about even the tiniest of details.

It also probably helps that he just... really likes talking and listening to you.

Speaking of talking... While he keeps many of the specifics to himself, he's also talking about how nice and great and cute you are for confessing to him that way. It becomes the talk of the dorm, and Jamil won't be surprised if it becomes the modern day love story of their homeland.

Kalim's the one who seeks you out too, picking you up from wherever you said you were to bring you back to the dorm. He's so excited that he's (finally!) your partner!

The two of you spend a few minutes gushing about each other, and then he says,

"Alright, let's go!" He pulls you along with him, grasping your hand in his. "Let's celebrate the start of our love together!"

character: JAMIL VIPER premise/trope: sending your boyfriend, who you miss very much and is very busy, a crush form to remind him that your feelings have not waned one bit

HOW HE REACTS WHEN YOU SEND THE FORM LINK

You're wonderful to him, really, so you have the decency to send the link a little later into the evening, around the time you know he'd have less chores to do, more academics in turn. It's a time you know he'll allow himself to check his phone, and you know your message will go read.

You tell him you don't have to open the link immediately, to only do it when he's free.

Jamil sees the form file name and title and, well, he thinks it's time for him to wrap up his evening immediately. If he's to abide by your request, that is, to answer the form when he missed you... That would mean answering as soon as possible.

JAMIL : I don't know how to react. Should I call you corny or sweet for pulling a stunt like this?

He tells you that, but the reality is that his body has already decided how to react for him. His face feels too warm for comfort (which says a lot, considering he's rather used to the heat already).

He's hiding his face with his hood on the way to his room, and even when he's in the privacy of his quarters he can't help but want to cover up his face a little longer.

Conflicted between immediately getting back to you (at least, sending in his answers before you go to sleep) and preparing for bed, he ultimately decides to save the best for last, getting his heart to calm down as he undoes his hair and takes off his jewelry.

When he reads through the questions, he goes from being ready to pass out to doing leg kicks in bed and burying his face in his pillow (because he changed from his uniform, therefore no more hood).

Jamil answers the questions a little bluntly (with some quips aimed towards you here and there), but since it's something private, something he's sure you won't share with anyone else, he's comfortable giving you the affection you seek (and which he, too, misses giving and receiving).

(He also, just, has a thing for imagining you as flustered as you make him, so he likes to flirt a little bit. Oops 😊😁🤭)

HOW HE ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

AFTER HE ANSWERS THE FORM

Morning come, everybody notices that Jamil is in SUCH a good mood, so good he can't even hide it.

It's surprising that he's acknowledging anyone at all considering, upon closer inspection, Jamil's eyebags looked... well, noticeable. Especially since he hadn't put on any makeup yet.

Kalim's usually the mood maker in Scarabia, but Jamil's genuine smiles are infectious, and soon enough everyone else is smiling, too, even so early in the morning.

Though they do wish he would talk to them a little bit more instead of spending his time on his phone (another rarity), but overall they're just happy that Jamil is happy.

(They all consider making some kind of prayer or offering to the Sevens now. Whatever or whoever is making their vice dorm leader having a wonderful morning, may it continue to do so forever)

As for Jamil... He knows he spent a good amount of time talking to you last night, but upon waking his natural instinct is to greet you immediately.

You're his treasure, his love, so if he goes to sleep thinking of you instead of dreading the morning come, and wakes thinking of you instead of the pile of work he'll inevitably face, who can really blame him for being visibly content?

JAMIL : I know I said I'd be too busy this week to commit to a date, but I don't think I can wait that long to see you. JAMIL : I'll find an excuse for Kalim, so... JAMIL : Shall we go on a date tonight?

character: SILVER premise/trope: sending Silver the form should have been relatively uneventful... if not for his well-meaning but nosy family

HOW HE (and the rest of Diasomnia) REACTS WHEN YOU SEND THE FORM LINK

The thing is... Silver's asleep when you send the link. That's not your fault of course, nor is it is. However, the two of you just have the most unfortunate timing. Maybe you shouldn't have sent multiple follow up messages, then it would not have alerted anyone else.

Silver's phone has multiple beeps and, well, his fae companions are a little more sensitive to sound than others. It's inevitable that they'd either be annoyed or intrigued by the constant notifications.

Sebek just wanted to mute it, really! However, the screen lights up when he puts it in front of his face, and he sees your name, and he instinctively says it out loud, and then it's all over.

Lilia and Malleus are taking peeks at the small device as well, trying to make sense of the cut-off previews of each message you sent.

Sebek is... trying to be a good person so he's doing that thing where he covers his face with his hand, but leaves a gap between his fingers for him to read the texts.

They want to wake up Silver because SILVER'S LOVE LIFE IS ON THE LINE WHAT IF YOU DELETE YOUR MESSAGES AND DECIDE YOU REGRET YOUR (admittedly unique) CONFESSION.

Lilia's talking about taking one for the team and he activates the face recognition unlock on Silver's phone. He's not going to look through what you sent or anything (yet) but he does send you a text to let you know that Silver's still asleep and to not worry about why he's not responding.

Well, that stops the message influx.

Ironically, it's the silence that wakes Silver up, and he's immediately suspicious when he sees three fae crowd over his cellphone.

When he finds out you've been sending texts he's very apologetic to have kept you waiting, and when he realizes just what you sent he's extra apologetic... and flustered. Not only did you send him such a thing, but his father, Malleus, and Sebek all got a glimpse of it, too.

SILVER : I'm sorry for taking so long. I feel asleep again. SILVER : I have control of my phone now, in case you were worried about... the others being overly curious again. SILVER : I'll answer what you sent and get back to you as quickly as I can.

Silver's answers are serious and straight to the point, but not to the point that it lacks affection. Rather, he manages to weave in his perception and feelings for you rather seamlessly.

HOW HE ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

AFTER HE ANSWERS THE FORM

He just meant to let the trio outside his room (he knows they're there, they are not being very discrete) know that he was going to meet up with you for a little bit, maybe talk about the next steps of any relationship you could cultivate in person.

However, they're bombarding him with apologies for snooping (he's already forgiven them, honestly) and questions about whether he's finally having his first romance.

Even Sebek, once he says his piece about making sure to allocate enough time for training and academics, gets pretty into it.

Silver clarifies that he's going to meet up with you specifically to discuss what the two of you should do with your mutual feelings, and then they're talking about what courtship offering he could give and what attire he should wear and what song he could perform ad he loves them, really, but it's a little bit too much.

He lets them know he'll leave as he is and that he'll be back for dinner. Lilia jokes that he should cook something special for the occasion and to bring you along to dine with them.

He runs before he can be pressured into agreeing. Malleus and Sebek look like they want to join him instead of facing Lilia's cooking.

You're talking to a bird when he sees you. The sight makes Silver smile.

"The birds have a great eye. Those colors suit you," Silver says. He makes sure the stem has no thorns before he tucks it between your ear. "Perhaps the forest critters have taken a liking to you, too."

masterlist | end notes

[ 1 ] Compared to the previous crush forms (aside from Floyd's), these ones sort of have the theme of getting people involved in the process. I feel like if I were to make or receive one, I would be sharing them or letting my friends take a look, so it felt realistic enough to have some characters actually tell people about the form and not just keep it to themselves

[ 2 ] I don't think I have to say this, but don't violate people's privacy with their phone in real life HAHAHAHA this is for plot purposes only

< special tags >

@merotwst here bestie ito na yung tag mo HAHAHAHA surry napatagal ng post hihi

If anyone wants to be tagged for when a specific character's form gets posted feel free to let me know :> I can tag you too

[sjelaine]

"Louisrock" July 7, 2024

I had a friend who lives in Turku where Ruisrock is held, so as soon as I saw that Louis would play it (back in November,) I contacted my friend to see if she would be home - she said yes!  I bought an early bird ticket to the festival and had my lodging all set, so then I just needed an airplane ticket from California to Helsinki and a rental car.  I then found out another friend (from the same fandom as my Turku friend) was going to Ruisrock as well, to see Käärijä, who as it happens was playing on the same stage as Louis but 2 hours ahead of him, so I had a friend to go to the concert with me!  Normally I have to see Louis by my lonesome because none of my friends are in the 1D fandom, but it's okay because Louies are the nicest friendliest people out there and I am never short of new friends to scream all the words to Louis' songs with at the concerts.  IMO this is the very best thing about being a Louie -- all the other Louies!

We got to the festival site two hours before doors opened so we would be sure to be toward the front.  All the festival signs were in Finnish and my friend is Swedish and I'm American, so we had to rely on the locals to translate for us.  I'm old and slow so I wasn't able to run when the time came, but by the time I got through the gates and located the line for Louis' show, I was only about 50 people back.  The festival was INCREDIBLY well organized, clearing out each stage area after each performance so the people who had lined up for a specific artist could have a good chance of getting a good spot.  And thanks so their expertise in handling crowds, I was able to maintain my position in line without having to run and thus got a spot at barricade!  Thank you Ruisrock organizers and security *thumbs up*

I will mention that while waiting in line for 6 hours we were comfortable and there was a breeze and no rain.  We also got to listen to Blind Channel and Käärijä's shows which were pretty hard-hitting and all in Finnish - the best part about that was all the Finns surrounding us joining in to yell the lyrics and pogo along to their favorite songs.  The energy was amazing and I'm sure the other foreigners in line with me were appreciating the Finnish love of live music as I was.  Don't forget we also got the Oli walk-by which was funny because he acted as though he was just passing us to get to the food stalls, but then he came back a few minutes later with no food and acting just as nonchalantly, so clearly he was there to check us out and report back.  You go, Oli!  Be sure to tell Louis what in idiot he is if he thinks we're not going to show up.  Faith in the Fans, maybe?

Back to barricade: I had a spot right next to the staircase Louis would use to come off stage for Silver Tongues, and I took quite a few videos and photos although most of the songs are partial recordings and the pictures are basic iphone quality, but here's a link to all of my files in a Google folder.  Please enjoy!  Do with these as you wish :-)

Some observations I made while enjoying my 7th Louis show was that Joshua would run to a certain side of the stage, Louis would catch sight of him, and then he would head to that side of the stage... so it was almost like Joshua was calling the shots of where Louis should "pose."  It also clued me in to start recording whenever Joshua came to our side because I knew Louis would follow - I got some great shots of Louis looking our way which I choose to believe were him looking at ME ;-)  I also noticed that Steve would put a drumstick in his mouth to adjust something on his set mid-song, which I hadn't noticed before.  And of course Michael and Matt were always heading to the center stage to join Steve in "getting down" which was fun to see.  It would be great to see Louis playing the guitar and jamming with them, but then it would be harder for him to interact with the fans...

One of my favorite live show elements is the Baba O'Reilly mash up in WDBHG so I was very happy that Louis walked over and pointed my way when he sang it - so excited in fact, that my video suffered accordingly, but oh well.  I didn't get lucky with him coming to our side of the barricade but hopefully at some show in the future I will.  Faith in the Future!

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.  Love you guys -

[merbear25]

The joys of music

Music is a wonderful means of self-expression. Being able to connect with its melodies, lyrics, and bands is something that should never be taken for granted. It's just an added bonus to be able to share this with someone.

CW: SFW, gn!reader, headcanons, fluff (excluding Caesar)

Mihawk, Caesar, Corazon

Mihawk: dark wave, post-punk, and cold wave. Examples: Twin Tribes and HAPAX

He'd find this type of music soothing. It'd probably help him relax after a long day of being surrounded by many chaotic characters and situations―letting himself get lost in the sound.

You'd find him sitting in front of the fireplace, eyes closed to fully immerse himself in the music.

After a few moments of listening with him, you'd comment on how charming it is.

Opening one of his eyes to look at you, he shifted his sight on the dancing embers.

Slowly getting up, he stood next to you, extending his hand.

Taking it with an inquisitive look, he lifted you up and held you close.

Swaying to the beats, his hand placed lightly on the small of your back and the other careesing your hand: you'd look dreamily into each other's eyes.

Placing your head on his chest, he'd hold you closely. Your souls intertwining with the melodies being played.

Caesar: cabaret metal and avant-grade metal. Examples: Tardigarde Inferno and Stolen Babies please ignore how on the nose this one is 😂

This type of music is often referred to as circus metal, and a lot of the music videos (especially from Tardigarde Inferno) are trippy, which remind me of Caesar. To me he's a walking acid trip.

Conducting experiments and research can take hours upon hours, so it was nice to have something on to boost his spirits.

The circus-like background with the added dark themes was the perfect inspiration for him to think of ways of testing out his newest brain-child on one of his many lackies.

Being enticed by the tunes dancing down the hall, you followed them to find Caesar happily leading someone into a chamber and pulling an ominous lever.

Regretting having found him in the middle of the trial and error portion, you slowly backed away from the entrance.

Unfortunately, your awkward hesitation caught his eye.

Greeting you warmly, he tried to coax you into coming over to him.

When seeing your eyes dart nervously to the chamber, he was quick to add, "Don't worry about this silly contraption! I'd never do such things to you." The softness never left his voice.

Corazon: Indie pop, progressive pop, alternative rock. Examples: The Real Tuesday Weld (linked to a specific song I think he'd love) and tallyhall

I think he'd appreciate the storytelling with these bands/genres. They hold a lot of emotion and are paired with light melodies. He'd probably also like when these are mixed with more upbeat moments.

Laying down on the grass, Rosinante cloud watched while he eased his worried thoughts.

The entrancing stories flowing through his earbuds teleported him to another reality―one where everyone would be safe from his brother's rising threat.

Enjoying the gentle breeze passing over him, his peaceful moment was abruptly put to a hault.

You startled him―seemingly popping up beside him out of thin air.

Releasing his 'silence' he asked if you needed something.

Kneeling down beside him, you told him you wanted to know what he was listening to.

Lending you one of his earbuds, his anxiety sudsided when he saw your face soften to the music.

Throwing his 'silence' up again, he enjoyed having you lay down next to him. The wind was picking up, causing the leaves above you to rustle and letting more sunlight peak through their gaps.

[final-fantasy-imagines]

Hi!! Redoing my request because I forgot to specify character. Could you please do a small sweet gale (soulmates au? Any kind works! If you want something specific tho: soulmate hears a specific song around the other) and sunflower for Cloud Strife.

Here you go, dear anon! Thank you for your request. <3 Hope you enjoy!

Prompts: Fluff, soulmate AU, “You have a beautiful smile.” (1k followers event: Vani's flower shop)

Every now and then the stars align – Cloud Strife x gn!reader

It’s when you enter the slums of Sector 7 when you hear that melody again. Albeit quiet and faint, you recognize it immediately; it’s the same melody you’ve heard the last couple of times you’ve been to the slums. And you remember you have also heard it up on the plate one or two times.

If you lived in another world you probably would have wondered if you were losing your mind. But in this world, hearing melodies out of the blue isn’t something unusual. In fact, it’s quite normal – it’s how soulmates are supposed to find each other. Each pair has a specific melody assigned to them, a melody only they can hear when their soulmate is near. And the soft tune that keeps playing in your head as you make your way through the slums can only mean one thing – your soulmate must be here somewhere.

You’re not sure how you feel about that, though. Of course, the thought that someone’s out there who’s meant for you and only for you is quite nice but at the same time, it’s equally terrifying. Because in the end, your soulmate will be a stranger – and how are you supposed to fall in love with a stranger?

“Damnit, (Y/N), stop overthinking,” you scold yourself in a low tone, a lousy attempt to distract yourself from the familiar song playing in your head, “you’ll cross that bridge when you get to it. No need to puzzle your head about this now.”

The young woman passing you by gives you a strange look, probably because you’re talking to yourself. Most people see it as a sign of insanity, after all. (If someone asked you, music playing in your head randomly isn’t much better but since it’s linked to the whole soulmate thing, people usually don’t question it.)

“Um, excuse me,” you finally manage to say, and the woman stops in her tracks, raising her eyebrows as you approach her, “could you help me, please? I’m not from around here but I’m looking for someone. His name is, um,” you pause to look at the wadded piece of paper your friend Aerith has given you earlier, “Cloud. Any chance you know who that is?”

Without any hesitation, the woman shakes her head. “Never heard of him,” she replies, and you can’t tell if she actually doesn’t know him or if she’s just saying that to get rid of you. But it probably doesn’t matter anyways – either way, she can’t help you.

“You could ask Tifa, from 7th Heaven,” the woman adds after a few moments of uncomfortable silence (well, except for the melody that’s still playing in the back of your mind), “she knows almost everyone around here.”

“Oh. Thank you.” You hesitate for a second. “And where can I find her?”

* * * *

You soon find out that 7th Heaven is a bar located in the heart of the slums of Sector 7. The building itself has seen better days, just like every other building in the area, but that doesn’t make the bar any less charming. In fact, you’re pretty sure the run-down, industrial look is what makes it charming in the first place.

A jukebox in the corner of the entrance area plays quiet music that mixes in with the melody repeating in your head. At the other end of the dimly lit room is a bar with several stools, and behind it, you can spot a young woman, dwelling on her own thoughts as she polishes a glass.

Approaching the bar, you clear your throat. “Um, sorry for intruding,” you begin, giving the woman a brief smile when she looks up. If she’s surprised to see someone here at this time of the day, she’s good at hiding it. “It’s no problem,” she says and returns your smile, “you’re here for a drink?”

You hesitate for a moment. A part of you is tempted to order something, simply because the ongoing music in your head is proof that your soulmate is somewhere around the area and you need to calm your nerves, but for the same reason, you need to stay at least somewhat level-headed.

“No,” you reply eventually. “I’m looking for someone and a lady on the streets told me to ask someone named Tifa for help. Um, do you know where I can find her?”

The woman behind the bar laughs. “Yes, indeed. I’m Tifa.” She pauses, a patient smile playing around the corners of her mouth. She’s clearly waiting for you to introduce yourself, so you tell her your name. Her smile widens. “Nice to meet you. Now, how can I help you?”

Perhaps it’s Tifa, you think to yourself while you explain the situation but then, you remember that the music in your head would have stopped by now if she were your soulmate. So, no, probably not Tifa.

“Why are you looking for him?” she asks, not quite able to hide the curiosity in her voice. “Need a mercenary?”

“Hm? No.” So, that’s what he is. “To be honest, I have no idea why I’m looking for him. My friend Aerith told me I should go to the slums of Sector 7 and talk to him. I know this sounds so weird but she insisted.”

Tifa’s face lights up. “Oh, I know Aerith! We met a while ago. Long story.”

“I think I’ve heard parts of it.”

It’s hard to focus on a conversation when your mind keeps repeating the same melody over and over again, and you begin to wonder if that’s why Aerith sent you here – because she knows that your soulmate is somewhere around here. She has an ungodly sixth sense for this kind of things, after all.

“Cloud should be back soon. You can wait for him here if you want,” Tifa suggests, snapping you out of your thoughts. In that moment, the door to the bar opens, and the music in your head grows louder and louder, almost to a point where it becomes unbearable, and when you turn around, you see a blonde man approaching you. Then, stunning blue eyes meet yours, and the music stops.

Oh.

Oh.

You try very hard not to lose your composure but you’re pretty sure you’re staring at him like he’s some kind of supernatural creature. But he looks at you the same way, so it’s probably not all that bad. (At least that’s what you try to tell yourself because the way Tifa giggles quietly and excuses herself convinces you that the whole situation is more than awkward.)

“Hi,” you say, and much to your surprise, you even manage to smile.

Cloud blinks before, all of a sudden, he blurts out, “You have a beautiful smile.”

It’s obvious that you’re not the only one taken aback by his sudden compliment because he has barely ended his sentence when he starts to blush vigorously, the rosy pink color dusting his cheeks a lovely contrast to his eyes.

Oh no, you think, he’s adorable.

Silence settles in but soon enough, you gather the courage to ask him to join you for a walk to get to know each other better. The slums might not be the most romantic place on this planet but still you feel your heart flutter when Cloud agrees.

You really need to thank Aerith later.

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it please consider reblogging, liking and/or leaving a comment. I'd really appreciate the support. <3

Taglist: @sixdaysofsilverashes @thevoidwriting @theimaginaryheir @asilverraven

[contemplatingoutlander]

These moments totally happened at the GOP primary debate

WaPo satirist Alexandra Petri add her spin on the Republican primary debate. This is a gift 🎁 link so that those who do not subscribe to The Washington Post can read the entire article. Below are some excerpts. Enjoy! 😁

If you said, “Would you like to watch Ron DeSantis, Vivek Ramaswamy, Nikki Haley, Tim Scott, Doug Burgum, Mike Pence, Asa Hutchinson and Chris Christie talk to each other for two hours? FYI, the place where they’ll do so is hotter than Beelzebub’s armpit!,” I would have said, “No, thank you.” But if you said, “The alternative is watching Donald Trump talk to Tucker Carlson on the website formerly known as Twitter,” I would say, “I can’t wait to hear what Ron, Vivek, Nikki, Tim, Doug, Mike, Asa and Chris have to say!” [...] Here is approximately how it went. Bret Baier: Hello. We have brought a bell just because we enjoy the sound of a bell. Martha MacCallum: Feel free to speak over it; it will give the evening a fun, musical vibe. Baier: Yes, and speaking of music, candidates, the number one song in America is something called “Rich Men North of Richmond”! Governor DeSantis, introduce yourself by providing a close reading of the subtle lyrics of this song. DeSantis: Hang on, first I have some prepared remarks! Joe Biden’s basement! Hunter Biden’s paintings! “Rich Men North of Richmond”! Taxes! Florida! Baier: Chris Christie, why would you be better as president? Christie: Bret, I have spent the last four years sailing around sharpening my traffic-cone harpoon for my hated foe (from hell’s heart I spit my last breath at him!), and the one question I did not expect was about a scenario where I could actually become president. Uh, I was governor of New Jersey? So, take that for what it’s worth.

[See more under the cut.]

Scott: I have come to this debate with some specific numbers at my fingertips! I was told everyone would be excited about specific numbers! If not, I would really like those hours back. Ramaswamy: Hello! You may be wondering, who is this skinny guy with a funny name? I’m not a politician who is going to offer you a series of prepared, meaningless platitudes. I’m a businessman with no political experience who is going to offer you a series of prepared, meaningless platitudes. Isn’t it time we stopped running away from things and started running toward things? I am not running for president so much as I am running for the title of Favorite Grandson of your Fox News grandmother. Have you ever considered that people don’t love God anymore? [...] Pence: Hello! I am here to recite scripture and keep referring to the Trump-Pence administration, and I’m all out of scripture. That was some Mike Pence humor; I will never be out of scripture! I am unquestionably the best-prepared person in this race, the single individual with the experience that is closest to being the president, with no exceptions that spring to mind. I have been in the hallway. I have been in the White House. Do you like what my administration did with the Supreme Court? [...] Ramaswamy: You think now is the time for incremental reform. I think it is the time for actual revolution. Pence: Good Lord, no thank you. I do not have any revolutionary proposals. I believe in mild, small, incremental change. Except for a nationwide 15-week ban on abortion, which I want to implement because I promised it to God. Haley: Let’s be realistic! Women hate hearing this. Let’s just admit that it will never happen. But we’re all going to say we want it to happen! But, ladies, it’s not going to happen. [...] Young Person: Please tell me that anyone on this stage believes in climate change, the only issue I care about because I anticipate living on this planet for at least 60 years. I am starting to get worried. Can we have a show of hands? DeSantis: No! We are not schoolchildren! We will not raise our hands or acknowledge the existence of science! Ramaswamy: As the only one on this stage who is not bought and paid for, I have a thought. Christie: I have had enough of a guy who sounds like ChatGPT and stole his opening gambit from Barack Obama. I came here to bludgeon Donald Trump verbally, but Trump is not here and I have a lot of verbal bludgeoning built up. [...] Baier: Why do we have homelessness, drugs and crime? Pence: Because Democrats talked about defunding the police, and everyone knows that if you say “Defund the police!” into a mirror three times, crime appears. It’s just science, or, as Governor DeSantis and I prefer, religion. Christie: I disagree. Crime went up because Hunter Biden did it.

Please use the gift link above to read the rest of Petri's cutting satire.

Just one thing I would like to comment on though. I grew up in NJ... BEYOND the exits on the Turnpike. Why does there always have to be a NJ joke?🤦🏻‍♀️There really are nice parts of NJ. Really. I mean it. 😉

[edited]