#forgive the shitty gifs i just need to put this thought out

[darjeelinh]

People always talk about this moment as Jesper falling in love and Wylan being encouraging to Alby but let’s also talk about how for a moment Wylan got lost in the music and he looked so peaceful he seemed to forget where he was. Like he was transported back to his childhood, playing music & all was well.

Let’s talk about how, yes, he was being encouraging to Alby, but he also probably saw a chance and jumped at it just to play the piano again, yearning to feel the keys under his hands, desperate for a moment of comfort. For a moment he was not Wylan Hendriks of the Barrel, he was Wylan Van Eck, playing music with his mother in their house again.

Then as quick as Wylan allowed himself to get lost in the music, that peace quickly shattered and reality crashed on him. He seemed to catch himself and pulled a mask on, retreated immediately back into hiding again.

The subtle change in expression? Jack Wolfe just knows how to break my heart 😭😭😭

[look-at-the-soul]

Every little thing you do- Part 1

Tommy Shelby x reader

Series Master list

✨So first part is finally here!! Please be aware this part is set to happen in different days therefore you’ll see a little divider in the middle… and also! There’s violence. Please note I’m trying to follow the ideas/education from back in the day so it won’t necessary fit for today’s way of seeing things.

Word count: 2,977

Waving her sister goodbye, Y/N headed outside. But to her surprise she found Scott stopping his vehicle.

“Hello sweetheart.” He greeted her with a quick kiss on her lips, she stepped back immediately in case her mother was watching behind the curtains.

“Scott, I wasn’t expecting to see you today.”

“We’ll I lied and said I felt sick to get out earlier.”

This wasn’t something he’d do, but she listened to his explanation.

“I wanted to see you.”

Y/N looked over her shoulder, her parents were strict.

“You know you’re only invited for lunch and tea on Sundays.”

“I know, I know.” He moved back retrieving something from the car. “Got you these.”

“I love them, thank you.” Y/N pressed the bouquet of flowers against her chest, the fresh aroma invading her, a smile growing in her lips.

“Why don’t you go back inside and put them in water? Then meet me at the bakery around the corner.”

“Where are we going?”

Scott gave her a wide smile that took her breath away. “It’s a surprise, you’ll like it.”

Butterflies got spread all over her stomach, the expectation building. She hurried to the unexpected date.

“Listen, I want to apologize for acting shitty the other day.” Scott announced. “Can you forgive me love?”

Y/N nodded eagerly, pleased by his change of heart.

“It’s alright, just be careful next time.” Y/N suggested as he drove.

“Careful?”

“You shouldn’t have talked Tommy that way.”

Scott rolled his eyes. “There you go again, defending him. This why we fight.”

“No, Scott I don’t want a war between you two all the time, he didn’t like the way you talked to me.”

“Why does he always sticks his bloody nose in our business?”

“It’s not like that.”

“He’s always standing in the middle, I’m sick of getting orders from him, he leaves me the worst jobs just to please himself, he’s got people to do those things. I thought they wanted me to do other things, not to clean horses shit.”

“Scott I can’t interfere in your role among the gang, he already has done more than enough.”

“There it is, you’re defending him instead of being on my side…”

Y/N realized how unintentionally she always put Tommy on a pedestal, her boyfriend was right, feeling like he was belittled. She knew Tommy didn’t like him, and there was a possibility that she wasn’t impartial.

“I’ll see what I can do.” She finally gave in, not wanting to spend their time together fighting.

“That’s my girl.” He stopped the car on the sideway and began to shower her face with soft kisses.

”Do you need anything else?” Lizzie walked around the desk, resting against the bookshelf.

“What happened with the contracts you couldn’t find?” Tommy asked leaning back on his chair.

“Arthur took them by mistake.”

“Keep those locked.” He pointed a finger at her.

“Are you going to Karl’s birthday party?” She tried batting her eyelashes at him, but Tommy wasn’t looking at her.

“Yes, in a minute.”

Lizzie looked down at him again, hoping he’d ask her to join him.

“Heard Ada bought a huge cake.”

Tommy took his briefcase and hummed nonchalantly.

“I wrapped you a present for Karl, take it before you leave.”

She didn’t get a response.

Giving up to her wishes to be invited with the Shelby family, Lizzie shook her head. Collecting the remains of her dignity from the floor.

Tommy followed her with his eyes as she stomped her foot on her way out but dismissed it a few seconds later, not understanding her attitude.

The office was quiet when he crossed it, everyone had headed home already and his family were already in Polly’s house.

This was the first time he left considerably early in a long time. The need to release some stress made him reach for a cigarette. He had a dozen of things to do, a trip to London in the upcoming days, visit one of the fabrics… before he realized, Tommy parked outside Polly’s property.

Karl’s celebration was a rare family gathering. For his brothers birthdays they’d usually went to camp close to the river and drink all night. He wasn’t used to paper decorations and chocolate cake.

A small figure crashed against his legs. “Oh oh.”

Looking down, he found one of John’s kids. Was this Kate? Or Barbara?

“Careful.”

“There you are.” John appeared with a sandwich in his hand. “Go with your siblings.” He instructed his daughter.

“John.” Tommy called him mysteriously, with his hand motioning his brother to step closer. “Wipe your fucking mouth, you’ve got chocolate all over it.”

Stepping into the living room, he joined his family.

“Uncle Tommy!” Karl ran towards him with his arms open.

Tommy rubbed the kid’s back and offered him his present. “Happy birthday Karl.”

“Thank you!”

“Looks like you owe me money Pol.” Ada chuckled as she helped her son open his present.

Tommy looked from his sister to his aunt, studying them.

“Damn it. I thought he wasn’t going to show up.”

“So you made a bet?” He asked in disbelief.

He usually wouldn’t. But when it came to his sister, he made an effort.

“Where’s Y/N?” Polly asked with a frown.

“I sent her the invitation, thought you’d arrive together.” Ada explained staring at her brother.

But Tommy shook his head. “No, I haven’t seen or heard from her.”

“Shit! Pol! Help me out here!” John shouted holding his son James in his arms, he was bleeding and crying. “Smashed his fucking head.”

As Ada rushed to get some clean towels, Polly tried to comfort the child.

Stepping away from the chaos, Tommy leaned against a column to think he actually hadn’t seen Y/N in almost a week. A million thoughts filling his mind, trying to find a reason for her to be distant.

He needed to know if she was alright because she had always been close to the family, she was always considered part of it to all their gatherings; she was there for them at Freddy’s funeral, at John’s wedding…

“Now that we’re here all together, I’ve something to say.” Arthur announced stepping on a chair, oblivious that Esme and Polly were taking care of a bleeding child.

As the room went quiet, Arthur announced he and Linda were expecting a baby.

“Congratulations.” Esme managed to blurr through gritted teeth. “Now help me hold James, because I need to rearrange his arm.”

As Arthur walked past Tommy, his brother patted his arm and mumbled a low congratulations.

But the thought of Y/N not being with them, stuck in his head.

Y/N felt like sleeping on the couch. Her feet were swollen, Lady Winchester lost one of her precious earrings and decided to put everyone in the search until they found it under her vanity hours later.

Oddly her family decided to stay up late apparently as she could see the candles still on. But just as she set one foot inside, her mother pushed her abruptly.

“You’re a dishonorable daughter! We gave you everything!” One of her hands intended to land on her cheek but hit her on her ear instead.

“What happened?”

“Y-your aunt says you’re with a child, she saw you this morning and came to ask me.” Y/N’s mother was furious.

A woman came into view, her sister poking her head from the kitchen as her mother pushed her into the room next to it and closed the door. She demanded Y/N to undress and started touching her breasts.

“She’s with a child.” The elder woman confirmed, her hands still on her breasts.

Y/N’s face got paler by the second. Her mother gave the woman money and asked discretion.

A heavy silence filled the room, Y/N could hear a pin drop if someone threw one. Dizziness swept over her as her palms started to sweat.

“Your father will be so disappointed by you.” Her mother sentenced firmly. “You’re a whore, this sin will follow you from now on.”

Blood went to Y/N’s feet and she had to grab the vanity for support.

“You’ll tell Scott tomorrow and get him to ask your father’s permission to marry you before you start showing.” Y/N could hear her mother’s words as if she was underwater.

“I’ll save him the embarrassment, perhaps you can go to your grandmother’s house and hide there…” she was pacing the room as a maniac, Y/N was starting to process everything, she could hardly breathe.

“I didn’t know I could get pregnant without being married.”

Y/N’s mother laughed sarcastically. “It’s too late for that now, you should’ve waited until you got married!”

“You never told me this could happen.” Y/N felt on the edge of tears.

“I educated you with values, God only knows what you learned from that friend of yours.” Her mother mumbled something else Y/N couldn’t understand. Slowly she sat on the carpet, her skirt pooled around her hips and she finally sobbed. When one day Scott touched her breasts and it felt nice, electricity ran through her body. But he stopped right there. Then after taking her to the river, one of his hands sneaked under her skirt and moved her intimate clothes to the side and her body trembled. A week after that, he was about to start a fight with Tommy, for the night when they arrived after visiting Tommy’s new house. So in an attempt to make up for that fight, he took her to the river again and after kissing her, he told her he wanted to do something else. It had been over a month since she stepped in the middle of Tommy and Scott.

Y/N didn’t know she could feel such pleasure until he introduced himself into her body and she exploded of ecstasy. It felt right, he said he loved her and they went back a few days later.

Scott had said this should be between just the two of them, just as their love. But he never told her she could get pregnant.

Worry kept her up all night. She felt sorry for her poor father.

Covering her face with her hands, Y/N felt the tears rolling down her cheeks uncontrollably.

“Scott,” Y/N breathed with relief, all the worry from the past days when she hadn’t been able to reach out soon, forgotten. “I need to talk to you.”

“Y/N… I’ve to rest, haven’t had a decent sleep yet. Can we talk about this another day?” He had been out of the city, busy with God knows what, but this was important for her, for them, for their future.

Y/N studied their surroundings carefully, trying to keep her voice from shaking she placed her hands on his shoulders.

“We’re going to have a child, Scott I’m carrying your baby.” She whispered.

Scott blinked unamused by the news, his nostrils expanding profusely. Y/N wanted to reach out, to throw herself in his arms but as they were outside his house, she had to control herself. Keep her distance with him and behave accordingly.

But when he took a step back, she felt confused.

“I-I’m… this must be a mistake.”

“No, no. There’s a baby growing inside me.” She repeated, keeping her voice down. “We’ll need to figure out about the wedding, it’ll have to be something intimate and soon before it starts showing…”

“I’m not going to marry you.” Scott scoffed. “How can I be sure this child is mine? You could’ve slept with someone else just as you did with me.” He mocked her.

Before she could stop herself, Y/N found her hand flying to his cheek. Her palm tingled after the slap she gave him.

“How could you say something like that?”

“Don’t you ever dare to fucking touch me again!” He snapped. “And as for this little inconvenient… I’m not taking responsibility, you’re on your own.”

He gave her a disgusted look and walked inside his house. Leaving Y/N turned into a crying mess, she was hurt and disappointed by his reaction and terrified of the outcome.

Her mother sent her to talk to Scott to arrange the terms of the wedding and now she just realized he didn’t have her back. But what was worse, he thought she would sleep around like a whore.

Folding her arms, she walked with her head down. Guilt and embarrassment written all over her face. How would she deal with this? How would she tell her mother what Scott just said? She had been so sure she’d be able to hide it from her father by marrying Scott but now she was left in the worst possible way.

She cried uncontrollably feeling defeated, it was now too late to do something, but at the same time she didn’t know how she’d take care and raise a baby by herself.

“Where’s Scott?” Her mother hissed when her daughter appeared in her eyesight.

Y/N couldn’t speak, something heavy made her walk slowly. Her whole world was crashing down and now she’d have to face the consequences.

“He told me he wouldn’t take responsibility for a child who might not be his.” As the words left her mouth, she started crying again.

“Of course he would say that! What did you think Y/N?!” Her mother exploded. “He must think the worst of you now, how easily you have yourself away to him!”

“He told me he loved me!” Managed to shout through her tears and sobs.

Her mother’s hand flew rapidly and hit her hard.

A heavy silence surrounded them. Her cheek was burning from her mother’s slap.

“Leave Y/N!” Her grandmother intervened.

“She deserved that.” Her mother explained, she was beyond angry.

Y/N’s grandmother wrapped an arm around her granddaughter protectively.

“What happened?”

“Tell her, go on… tell your grandmother what you did.”

Y/N kept her head down, she felt like she couldn’t look her grandmother in the eyes. She had failed them terribly, the values and principles they had showed her were thrown through the window.

“No? Well, I’ll tell her myself.” Her mother warned. “Y/N didn’t wait until marriage, she gave herself away like a whore and is now with a child. Couldn’t keep her legs closed.”

“Well we’ll think of something, she won’t start showing right away.”

“There’s nothing to think mother, Scott is out of the picture he didn't accept the responsibility.”

“But he’s as responsible as Y/N.” Her grandmother pointed out thinking this wasn’t fair on Y/N.

“Your granddaughter’s honor is right on the floor, he even suggested the baby isn’t his.”

Y/N saw her mother pacing around the small room, it was making her feel sick.

“And your father arrives tomorrow… should we send her with your sister to Durham?” She pondered the possibilities thinking of her mother’s sibling.

“Absolutely not.” Her grandmother defended.

“Then what? What are we going to do?”

Y/N felt sick and rushed away from them. Her head was pounding, her stomach in a tight knot and her heart shattered into million pieces.

“Ma’am you can’t go in there.” Tommy heard from outside his office, then saw the door swing open.

“Mr. Shelby you’re the only one who can help me.”

Tommy rose to his feet in a second, the worry he found in Y/N’s grandmother raised all the alarms.

“What happened?”

“My son in law is hitting Y/N badly.” Her voice cracked, her hands reached for the sleeve of his suit. “You’ve to help her.”

Tommy took his coat from the rack and rushed to see what was happening.

“John, get Polly and meet me in Y/N’s house.” He demanded.

“I’ll go with them Mr. Shelby.” Y/N’s grandmother expressed, not wanting to make him wait.

Tommy doubted for a second, but with her hand, the elder woman ushered him, so it must be serious. Stepping in Y/N’s house without knocking because he heard her cries and pained screams from outside, but Tommy wasn’t prepared to find what he’d see.

Y/N was in the middle of the living room half her clothes shattered, kneeling on the floor and her upper body leaned over a chair, her back covered by the belt marks and blood.

He felt a rush of anger and disgust through his body. Tommy could practically taste his bile in his mouth, but as Y/N’s father was about to hit her again, he stepped in his way, holding the man’s hand firmly in the air.

“You touch her again, and I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Stay out of this Shelby, I’m dealing with this whore.”

“Don’t make me repeat myself or you’ll regret it.” Tommy muttered through gritted teeth.

John joined him with a couple of some of their men, they went straight to hold Y/N’s father away from her.

Y/N winced in pain when Tommy tried to help her up.

“This is a family matter!” Y/N’s mother shouted disturbed for the interruption. “You should respect that.”

“Yeah? Just like you’re respecting your daughter?” Tommy snapped, he lost all self control over this injustice.

“She has to deal with the consequences of her acts! Behaved like a whore, gets punished like one.”

Y/N felt her mother’s words like daggers to her heart. She wasn’t sure what felt more hurtful; her father’s hitting her with his belt or her mother’s words.

Tommy felt like throwing up, he apologized when he got Y/N in his arms and she complained from the pain.

“You can’t take her away!” Her mother warned, trying to stop Tommy.

He gave her a warning stare and mumbled; “watch me.”

Part 2

Divider

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @gretelshelby @garrison-girl-08 @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan @stevie75 @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @forbidden-forest-witch @ange-thoughts @moral-terpitude @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @thenattitude @winchestergirl22 @zablife @elk96 @blondie-22 @imichelle-l-rigby @allie131313 @already-broken144 @peakyscillian @babaohhhriley @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @sydneyyyya @lau219 @adaydreamaway08 @pono-pura-vida @thomashelbyswife @darleneslane @lauren-raines-x @everythingelseisextra @kmc1989 @red-riding-wood @lovemissyhoneybee @theendlessvoidofdarkest @wannabeperfectionists-blog @yeppaweshallsee (can’t tag) @shydysneylover (can’t tag) @holacia3 @galactic3a @mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @ietss @abaker74 @natalie--rushman @elliaze @withyoutilltheendofthismess

[kittykattropicanna]

it's 2 am and i should sleep but i just read your prison penpal!ghost now it's rotting my brain!!!! ><

reader would so try to send him gifts if they're allowed. special holidays aren't miserable for him anymore as he would be accompanied by reader's sweet little presents!!!

Sleeps for the weak baby, sleep when you’re dead ;)

Of course you're going to look after your man, he does so much for you, the least you can do is send him some money to treat himself!!! maybe a gift or two you dirty girl :3

I know I promised to upload this last night after work but I was sleepy. IM SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME

TW: edging, Si fucks himself with your dirty panties, smut, masterbation (Reader and Simon) its just fucking disgusting and dirty, but also kinda sweet <3

PrisonPenPal!Simon masterlist

Regular masterlist

Absolutely, holy shit. After your first phone call, you’re his, he makes that so unbelievably clear through his next letters. :)))

Telling you how much he craves you, how you’re the only thing on his mind, describing in intimate detail how his gonna touch you, kiss you, fuck you :((((

His so fucking desperate for you, to the point he actually gets enraged knowing he can’t touch you. Just the thought of you being on the other side of the wall makes his skin crawl, you’re right there, only thick cement dividing him from you :(( 

Its even worse knowing that he can’t do anything about it >:(

Si’s a problem solver, he prides himself on being able to weasel his way out of practically any situation without a problem, if that’s  reducing his sentence down to basically nothing or getting away with his little late night phone calls with you. He always finds a way to make it work, but for the first time ever, he can’t fix this, his stuck here. No exceptions, no sweet talking to get what he wants, no amount of calculated manipulation could get him out of this situation, and it makes him go absolutely mad. 

At this point he has a year left of his sentence, his so fucking close to being let back into society, so close to finally being with you :(((

Letting his emotions (and dick) cloud his judgment, driving him to think about making stupid decisions such as an attempted jail break would be absolutely the worst idea of his entire life.

Ohhhhh, but its so tempting :(

But it would just put more time between you and him, as much as he wanted you now, he knew it was only going to rip him away from you again in the long run :/

And that’s if his even successful, one night with you would mean the world to him, but it wasn't worth being thrown back in jail, only separating the two of you for longer :(

He just needed to sit tight, let the days roll on and try not to think about your soft moans through the shitty speaker of the prison phone. :(((

He absolutely asked you to be official after speaking to you for the first time. It drives him crazy knowing when guys try and hit on you at the bar, you smile brightly and tell them that you're his, his to keep. 

One of the guards asked him what’s the first thing his going to do when he gets out, with a dopey smile he chuckles a little

“See ma’ missus mate” his so fucking cute, his actually so obsessed with you, so proud that you’re his ;))))

Of course the other inmates wouldn’t know, and technically he most definitely shouldn’t of told a guard, news spreads, but he couldn’t help it, it slipped out, and you know what, he was fucking proud of it :)))

You 100% would send him money and gifts, Si makes a little money, about £35 a week either cleaning, laundry duties, basic maintenance, basically anything the job program can offer him. 

The only issue being when he first signed up, he made sure that all his money was payed into Price’s bank account. He didn’t want to risk using it, the whole reason he started the work program was because he wanted to try and set himself up once he got out, at least have some type of savings waiting for him on the other side. Every now and then he regrets it, but he knows its for the best :/

Learning that Si was so strict with his money that he didn’t treat himself to anything didn’t sit well with you….and its not like you’re struggling financially, you work a good job and your daddy is always willing to send money if you ever needed it!!!!

A hundred odd pounds a month isn’t going to leave any sort of dint in your bank account, so of course your going to send Si some money to treat himself!!! You’re such a sweet, sweet girl :(((, his sweet, sweet girl. 

You start sending the maximum amount each month which comes out to about £150, its the least you can do!! His your boyfriend! he might be a felon, a little perverted and rough around the edges, but to you, his perfect :)))

His so grateful as well :(( treating himself to snacks :((( chocolate bars, skittles and gummy’s, buying himself a book or two, replacing his flat, stained pillow and ratted blankets, getting himself some actually nice soap and a new toothbrush, buying clothes that actually fit him!! 

His muscles have grown so much since being locked up :3 there’s nothing else to do besides lift weights, work and sit around :((((

“Sweetheart, I want ya’ to know, the second I get out of here, imma treat you real nice, give ya’ everything I can, look after ya’, protect ya’”

and

“The minute I get ya’ home, its all about you, yeah? Imma lay ya’ down and eat ya’ like a starved man, overstimulate that little cunt till ya’ beggin’ me to stop, fuck ya’ so deep and hard that you’ll forget ya’ fuckin’ name, whatever ya’ want darlin’ its all yours, been lookin’ after me so well….. imma show ya’ how much I appreciate it, as ya’ can probably tell, i’m more a man of action, poetry an’t ma style baby ;)”

Definitely learns origami from other inmates, makes little paper swans and hearts for you, the paper always being a little stained from his dirty fingers, obvious crease marks showing his folded it the wrong way and had to reattempt :))))

God he knows how to treat a women :33333

But what I really want to get into are the gifts you send him…..;)

As I established in my last fics about you sending things to Si, you absolutely send him innocent gifts. 

Photos, one of your favourite gold necklaces, an oversized tee that smells like your perfume…. Cute little personal things so he can have a piece of you, nothing crazy :3

I feel like you were reading a spicy romance book. It mentioned the main character stealing his lovers used panties out of her dirty laundry basket, very quickly and idea clicked in your brain :((((

You wanted it to be a surprise for him :(((( you didn’t mention it to him in your letters, only telling him your working on a little something that’s crafted just for him ;))

Waking up in the morning you make sure to fuck yourself with your fingers :(( 

Covering your panties with your juices, making sure their absolutely soaked in your cum :((

Rubbing your thighs together while you’re at work, soaking through your panties with your arousal :((( thinking about Si eating your pussy just like he promised while in important meetings, loosing focus…. your boss pulling you aside and asking if you’re okay :(( 

Scrambling to find an answer to explain your distracted behaviour and flushed cheeks >:(

He ends up sending you home because you’re distracting everyone with your aloofness :(( putting the rest of your team behind because you're a selfish girl with a dirty mind >:( can’t even focus in your workplace because Si’s dirty words have taken over every aspect of your thoughts >:(

At the end of the day your panties are ruined with your slick, soaked  all the way through and smelling of your orgasm just like you planned ;))

And when Si received your thong obviously used??? :000000 he let out a low grunt....

Just the idea that you did this for him, fully confirming in his mind that you wanted him, craved him just as much as he craved you made something animalistic set off in his mind….

Because he received your package in the middle of the day, he couldn’t hide and tend to himself like normal >:((((((

He needed you now, he needed to fuck his cock NOW, not wait till his cell mates were asleep, his heavy balls ached and he knew if he didn’t relieve himself soon, his blue balls would become unbearable >:(((( aching and hurting with each step, uncomfortable and frustrated :(

Purposely being a dick and coursing havoc with his inmates so he can be locked up for his disruptive and disrespectful behaviour ;)))))

A shit eating grin when his in handcuffs being walked to his cell, knowing your panties are tucked into his boxers ;))))) his won yet again ;)

Like I’ve said before, and I’ll say it again, he ALWAYS gets what he wants :)))

The second his cell locks his ripping his hard, leaky cock out and wrapping your used panties around himself :((((

Pumping his fat dick, the friction of the fabric making it that much more satisfying :((((

Closing his eyes and imagining you walking around all day, turned on and flustered for him >:((((( the idea of you restricting yourself from fucking other men because you're his, knowing all you want is to be filled with dick, have the feeling of a real cock fucking you, not your cold, rubber dildo >:(

His precum mixing with your juices only turns him on more, knowing that this is the closest he’ll get to fucking your cunt for now :(( 

As his big hands slowly pump his dick, wanting to savour the moment, he lets out animalistic grunts, slowly speeding up and then slowing his pace, he edges himself almost whimpering when he refrains from his release yet again :(((

Something about holding back satisfies him, his training himself for you, getting ready for when he fucks you for the first time, wanting to hold out long enough that he can rip orgasm after orgasm out of you, forming a white rim of your cum around the base of his cock :(((

Grunted whispers of your name falling from his lips as he tries to hold back yet again, legs twitching and face getting hot as uncontrollable ropes of cum finally release from his vainy cock :(((

His never cum that much in his life, your panties damp with his semen, dick so sensitive that even the feeling of the fabric from his boxes makes him flinch >:(((

You’re such a good girl, always knowing how to please him, feels like you know him inside and out already ;)

You just wait until he gets his hands on you sweet girl ;))) 

Y'all are so fucking obsessed with each other I CAN'T

PrisonPenPal!Simon is open for requests so feel free to send them throughhhhh, add to the AU, ask me expand on certain topics, whatever floats your boat >:)

!Disclaimer! - Above is NSFW content - MDNI - If you follow my blog without your age in your bio, you will be blocked - If you are under the age of 18, you are not welcome here, otherwise, enjoy :)

Cat divider sourced by @positively-mine from Pinterest - Pink line divider by @eloquentreverie - MDNI divider by @cafekitsune

Basic blog housekeeping -  fic requests guidelines, boundaries and my rules for minors

[p0ssywhippedcream]

I'm back again! So for me, all the one-shots where Percy is being a shit to y/n are like a series of  a toxic relationship, and I WANT HIM TO SUFFER SO BAD. It could be because I despise assholes or because he reminds me too much of my shitty ex (Percy, I adore you, but this is personal now).

Yes, my ex wasn't over his ex while being with me and told me that he preferred to still have the 140 pictures (yes, I remember this detail) of her than be with me.

Like I said before, I would love fluff, but I need vengeance! I NEED IT!

So please, I beg you! Write something that will fulfill my soul; I know you can. I only want him to pay, nothing else.

Love, THE Anon 🧚

I've tried to figure out how to say "fuck your ex" in a creative way but low-key im too tired he's just a douche n im so happy you know you deserve better n you're not with him!!! Also I wrote this sleep deprived on a 8 hour flight n actually kinda hate it but I promised so I deliver.

48 times. 48 times Percy’s called you and 48 times you haven’t picked up. It’s been about two weeks since you left and he hasn’t heard a lick of you, complete silence on your end.

For a while he respected the wall you’d put up, only because he didn’t miss what was behind it. He had Annabeth, his best friend and he didn’t need you.

Then earlier, he was doing the dishes with his mom. She was drying and he was washing and maybe he would’ve noticed her silence sooner if he wasn’t zeroed in on scrubbing off a chunk of fried egg.

When he finally looked up, Percy noticed her staring out the window with the look she only got when she was thinking of his dad and nudged her gently.

“Mom?”

Sally turned and met his questioning gaze. Her eyes were less sad, more reminiscent.

“Sometimes I just wonder, what it would have been like if he stayed.”

Percy nods, thinking of the man in the next room who stepped in the empty role his father left behind.

“I love Paul, my life now, but I just know that... maybe if he tried a little harder, you could have had it a little easier… I won’t ever forget the love I had for him because it gave me you, but I don’t think I’ll ever forgive it either.”

And now he’s sitting on his bed, slumped over his phone with so many wonders. Could you ever forgive him? Why was it so easy to let you go if it hurts so bad now? 

He calls you again, gets your up-beat ringtone and can’t help the surge of anger. It’s misdirected, you don’t deserve it and it immediately returns full force his way with a guilt tenfold.

So he calls you again and you tell him to leave a message at the beep. He hangs up before he can hear it.

His thumb hovers over the little phone on his screen, 50 times is pushing it.

He gives you a break, and waits, and waits, and waits.

And an hour later, his phone rings and he practically pounces on the device. It’s your smiling face shining up at him and your concerned voice echoing when he picks up.

“Percy? You okay? What’s going on?”

“I-I’m okay, I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Percy,” You sigh, “I was seriously freaked out, I thought you might be dying or something.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”

He heard you take a breath, holding one of his own.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“I’m- I’m sorry. I’m really sorry and really stupid and I should’ve apologized so much sooner.”

“Yeah, I know.” He winces, “Anything else?” 

“Annabeth doesn’t mean anything to me that way, it’s you. It’s always been you and I’ve been too blind to see the obvious. I thought I needed her still because I knew I could never ask you to be what she was.”

You don’t say anything, he’s compelled to go on but a little scared he’s already messed up.

“Percy, there’s so much wrong with everything you just said but I don’t have the energy to correct you. I’m tired, it’s been a long day and I really just can’t do this, okay?”

“Wait, p-please,” His voice cracks and he makes no attempt to cover it. “Can you just listen to me?”

“No, I can’t. When I said I was done, I meant it. Don’t call me again.”

And with that, the phone call is over. The dial tone is a harsh contrast to your soft voice, it breaks his heart a little more. He misses you a little more when he pulls the phone away from his ear and sees what he could have had in your profile picture. He hates himself a little more when the next number he’s calling is Annabeth’s and she’s picking up with a care in her tone he only wants to hear from you.

[thehighladywrites]

I had to come off of anon to say this bc I’m so angry so for every hateful anon out there here’s what CANONICALLY happened between Eris and Mor as far as we know in a little bulleted list so everyone can understand-

-Eris and Mor are engaged to be married (Mor is unwilling we have no idea if Eris wanted/didn’t want the marriage)

-Mor not wanting this marriage CONSENSUALLY sleeps with Cassian to get rid of her virginity so Eris calls of the marriage bc “she holds no value to him anymore” shitty thing to say but again it’s stated that Eris has to put on a mask in his court (kinda like someone else we know *cough* Rhysand *cough*)

-Keir finds out Mor did this and KEIR drives the stake into her stomach/womb saying that she was Eris’s problem

-Eris sees her bleeding with a group of soldiers at the border and leaves her there claiming that they can’t touch her

-We get a small snippet of what happened in ACOFAS from MOR’S Pov

Here are some quotes for that:

-“Don’t touch her.” Those steps stopped. It was not a warning to protect her. Defend her.

“No one touches her,” he said. Eris. “The moment we do, she’s our responsibility.”

- “I take it you do not wish to live here, Morrigan.”

He must have read it in her eyes. A small smile curved his lips. “I thought so.”

Also about the situation in ACOWAR (quotes from Eris from Feyre’s Pov)

-Eris looked between them, smiling faintly. Secretly. As if he knew something that Azriel didn’t. “I wouldn’t have touched you,” he said to Mor, who blanched again. “But when you fucked that other bastard—” A snarl ripped from Rhys’s throat at that. And my own. “I knew why you did it.” Again that secret smile that had Mor shrinking. Shrinking. “So I gave you your freedom, ending the betrothal in no uncertain terms.”

“And what happened next,” Azriel growled.

A shadow crossed Eris’s face. “There are few things I regret. That is one of them. But … perhaps one day, now that we are allies, I shall tell you why. What it cost me.”

-So basically none of the IC was there to witness what actually happened. Azriel rescued Mor from autumn a few days later, and that’s all we know about the situation.

Eris never RAPED anyone, he shouldn’t have left Mor in the woods, but my literary analysis (this is just my opinion) is that if Eris would have helped Mor she would’ve had to have married him and been trapped in Autumn. I’m not saying what Eris did is excusable-it was awful but

THIS IS THE CANONICAL EVIDENCE WE HAVE OF THE SITUATION

could Eris have alerted Tamlin or Rhys or someone? yes but it’s heavily implied throughout the series that Eris has to play by the rules of his court and if we can all forgive Rhys for that then I don’t see why Eris can’t be extended the same courtesy.

Anyway I’m sorry this is long but I feel like it needed to be said because there’s so much hate going around and I’m not here for it so I’m bringing in the receipts❤️

I hope you have a great day love and keep writing professor Eris bc I know I go feral for it ❤️‍🔥

phoenix you’re so right, i literally have nothing else to add, this is perfection thank you babes!!

also professor eris is coming out tomorrow 👀👀

[only-angel-28]

mastermind, part eight

two updates in 24 hours omg...

kinda shitty idk i dont rlly like this one but dw guys the next few will be better😍🙏💯

anyways enjoy this one and lmk what you think munchkins<33

warnings: barley any angst, swearing

mastermind, masterlist

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

Beep.

I turn my head to look at the digital clock on my bedside. The red numbers reading 11:55.

Thoughts frenzy in my mind.

Should I go?

Is it a trap?

Will it put the others at risk?

My mind debates with itself for a few more minutes, dodging back and forth as my heart battles with the conscience in my mind.

11:56

11:57

11:58

11:59.

Fuck it.

I throw the duvet off of myself, slipping into my coat and shoes before apparating to Spinners’ End.

Nervousness chews at me as I walk up the hill to the lone tree on top. I see a tall figure in the moonlight, leaning on the tree smoking a cigarette.

Fuck.

Anxiety and hurt flow though me, chilling me to the bone alongside the cold weather.

I take a deep breath, rubbing my hands together in a weak attempt to warm them up and walk to the figure. The light from the cigarette illuminating his sharp features as he raises it to his mouth.

“Hey.” I say simply, causing him to turn around in alarm. He drops the cigarette and breathes heavily, staring at me with an ache in his eyes.

“Hey,” he whispers out breathily, his eyes fixed on mine.

I take a long look at him, noticing the circles around his eyes suggesting he hasn’t been sleeping well, and the sunken look of his cheekbones and neck revealing he hasn’t been eating routinely either.

“I…” He starts off quietly and clears his throat, not taking his eyes off me once, “Are you alright?”

I scoff and release a humourless laugh, “As if you fucking care Nott.”

He visibly flinches at the name. Hurt flashes though his eyes as he looks down in shame.

I sigh, looking down at my shoes and up at him again, “What do you want Nott? Why this secret meeting?”

“I needed to see you,” He responds plainly and adds on after seeing my pointed look, “And I need your help.”

“With what?” “I need to get out if that house, of that group, of that.” He says, frustrated, “I never wanted any of this but now I need your help getting out of it. I know I hurt you darling, and trust me I’ll never forgive myself for it but please, you’re the only one who can help me.”

I look up to the sky, debating his words. I won’t forgive him, I can’t but I can’t deny him of help either.         I look up to see his blue eyes trained on me.

I sigh and answer, “I will help you. Not because I’m forgiving you Nott, I won’t forgive you. I can’t do that, you’ve hurt me too much. But I’m not going to depreive you of a better future either.”

Relief floods his body and it’s visible in the sigh he lets out and the big smile that appears on his face.

“I’ll need to tell Sirius and the others.”

“Oh no don’t worry, Draco’s already spoken to Sirius.”

I raise my eyebrows at his bravery. I decide to let it go becuase I’m cold and tired and tell him to follow me home.

“Come on then.” I grumble.

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

The preparations for the wedding are in full swing now, with Bill and Fleur arriving later today. The wedding was planned to be in a few months but with the upcoming war and constant fear from all around us, we’ve decided to do it as soon as possible.

“Alright, everyone ready?” Mr Weasley shouts from his place at the foot of the tent, “Wands at the ready, and up!”

We all raise our wands and help Mr Weasley raise the tent for the wedding. It’s beautiful, pale white with lavender embellishments. And its huge inside, big enough to fit all our guests and then some.

I head up the stairs to help Hermione and Ginny get Fleur ready.

“Oh you look absolutely dazzling Fleur!” I squeal along with the giggling girls as Fleur comes out in her wedding dress.

“Just wait till Bill sees you, we'll need to get Madam Pomfrey!” Ginny adds.

“Merci les filles!” Fleur thanks as Hermione finishes her hair with a big smile.

Theres a knock on the door and I open it to reveal Mrs Weasley, “Oh Fleur darling you look beautiful! Girls what are you doing?! Go get ready, hurry up now the guests will be arriving any minute now!” Mrs Weasley pushes, Hermione, Ginny and I out the room to get ready.

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

I’ve been avoiding Theodore all day today, at breakfast when he tried to sit next to me I shoved Harry down immediately to take up the seat. I avoided any eye contact he tried to make and ignored the numerous conversations people were having with him, everyones already loving him, especially Mrs Weasley, Sirius and Remus. Even Ron’s taken a liking to him. A Slytherin and Ron getting along? Unheard of.

I slip into my bridesmaid dress and call out for Hermione or Ginny to zip up my dress. Theres no response which concludes me to go looking around the house awkwardly, searching for someone to help me. My attention is drawn to outside, where almost everyone is setting up the last few flower bouquets and decorations. I walk into the kitchen to hopefully find Ron avoiding doing any jobs but am met with another figure.

Fuck.

I clear my throat to tear Theodore’s attention from the tea he was making from everyone, making him snap his head up. I see him looking at me up and down and I turn around before he has a chance to charm me with his eyes again.

“Zip me up will you?” I say, pulling my hair to the side to expose my back.

I hear Theodore’s footsteps come close to me and feel his cold fingers on the small of my back, taking hold of the zip and starting to pull up slowly.

I can feel his breath on my neck as he leans in and I can feel the heat from his body on my back, contrasting with the cold of his hands.

He reaches the top of the dress and before I can feel the brush of his soft lips on my neck, I walk away muttering a soft, “Thanks.”

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

The wedding is going  beautifully with the odd mishap here and there but its nothing Mrs Weasley can’t fix in the flick of her wand. Hermione, Ginny and I walk up the aisle, waiting for Fleur alongside Bill and his best men. We walk up slowly and in order and I catch Theodore’s eye as I reach the aisle. Something flashes in his eyes as he stares up at me from his place in the back of the room but my attention is diverted when everyone in front of him stands up, hiding him from my vision. Fleur walks up the aisle gracefully in her stunning white dress. Hermione starts to cry and I give her a handkerchief I had brought for this very situation. I can’t control my smile as Bill and Fleur take vows and first dance.

The whole wedding seems magical and is in full swing by now. People are chatting, drinking, swapping war stories or either making out in a dark corner. I excuse myself from a conversation by a dull man, something about the history of transfiguration and its impact on society, and go to the bar to get a drink.

“Firewhiskey please.” I say to the bartender, he doesn’t bother to look up at me as he passes me a glass.

“Hello.” A strong French accent catches me by surprise and I look to my left to find the voice.

A handsome young man, brunette with blue eyes and sharp features stares down at me from his height with a dimpled smile. I smile back and reply, “Hello.”

“I apologise Miss, but I feel as though we have met before? At the Triwizard Tournament a few years back?”

“Ah yes! You’re Thomas, aren't you?” My memory jogs back up to me as I take a sip of the whiskey in my hand as Thomas nods and says,

“Oui, my apologies, yes, I am Thomas. Y/n right?” he speaks in his deep voice, his accent already taking me in a trance the second he said my name.

“Yes that’s right. How’ve you been Thomas?” I reply, trying to flirt with him.

Thomas and I had gone out a few times in fourth year, he’d taken me to my first Yule Ball and we had shared a kiss under the mistletoe, but in all the frenzy of Voldemort coming back and Cedric Diggory dying, we’d lost contact of one another.

“I am very well thank you, how about you? Still so bad at dancing?” He jokes, remarking the moment at the Yule Ball when I had slightly tripped over myself in the middle of our dance.

I laugh and respond, “Why don’t we find out?”

He raises a brow at me and smirks, holding his hand out to me. I down the drink in my hand, placing the empty glass on the counter top and take his hand, smirking as he leads us to the dance floor.

We dance well, joking around and coming closer and closer each second until my eyes catch anothers on the other side of the room.

Theodore’s blue eyes burn holes though me as he doesnt look away. Not once though the many dances and talks Thomas and I share. Thomas excuses himself to leave for the restroom when Theodore makes him trip up and spill his glass of wine on himself and I gladly let him go, planning to talk to Theodore about his problem instead.

I walk over to him and see him drinking a glass of firewhiskey, leaning on one of the pillars, looking handsome as ever in his black and white robes and neat hair.

“What’s your issue?!” I shout roughly at him, seeing the shadow of a hidden smirk on his pink lips.

He sips his drink and replies plainly, “I don’t have an issue.”

“Oh come off it Nott. What are you playing at?” “I already told you, I dont have a problem. Go dance with Mr. Baguette again.”

I give him a disgusted look and shake my head before he pulls me behind the curtain with him by my arm, bringing me impossible close to him.

“What are you doing Theodore?” I whisper, the proximity of our bodies making my face flush and breath get shorter.

His dark eyes dart between my lips and eyes and I begin to realise the situation at hand. “Are you jealous Nott?” I say with a smirk, bringing my hands slowly up his bicep and seeing his eyes dart faster and breath get heavier.

“Of course I’m not. What do I have to be jealous of?” he replies, his hands going to the back of my neck, up to my hair and the other tightening its grip on the small of my back.

“You tell me.”

“Who were you dancing with? What’s his name” Theodore whispers.

“Thomas.”

A laugh escapes from Theodore as he leans his head back, making my eyebrows furrow in confusion. “I’m sorry, what’s so funny?” He gives me a look as to say, seriously?

“Darling…you can’t be that blind.”

I give him another confused look to which he replies, “He’s exactly like me.”

I push him off of me at that and rip the curtain away, now back in the dark corner in which Theodore follows.

“No think about it,” He carries on, “He’s got blue eyes and brown hair, he’s almost as tall as me, european too except I’m not a fucking frenchie. And he’s had his eyes on you this whole time. If you ask me darling I think you’re the one here who’s jealous.”

“What? Of course I’m not.” I say in absurdity.

“So you’d be fine if I made out with that girl over there.” He points to a veela across the room, making my hands form into fists and anger rise up in my chest.

“Yes. I would.” I grit out between my teeth, seeing his satisfied smirk only makes me angrier, “You know, I don’t get it. You leave me alone without any real communication for months, and then Draco shows up with some stupid note of yours and you ask for my help and you expect me to just be fine with everything. Like oh no Theo, you shattered my heart and broke my trust but don’t worry it’s all good, lets go have a picnic at the beach?” I finish my rant sarcastically, looking at Theodore to find the smugness wiped clear off his face, replaces by a cold hard expression.

“You know, I tried to make things fine between us, I did send you letters when I could and you know why I had to leave. I’ve already told you that I’m sorry for leaving, and I am, but if you want to keep being like this then fine. I will too.” he replies back coldly.

We stare at each other with fire behind our eyes, filled with frustration from the person in front of us and I’m about to make a snide remark until my voice is cut off by Kingsley Shacklebolt’s voice, the patronus silencing any other conversations and stealing everyones attention.

“The ministry has fallen. The Minister of Magic, is dead. They are coming. They are coming. They are coming.”

The patronus dies out, causing eveyrone to run and apparate left and right in fear.

Everything after the announcement is a blur. My breath gets heavier as I stay there, stunned. I’m broken out of my trance as I see Harry, Hermione and Ron try running towards one another. A hand grabs mine and I look up to find Theodore leading me towards the three, we’re all being pushed by Remus whos yelling at us to, “GO! GO!”. All of us have got our wands out by now and are summoning our patronus’ to fight back at the dementors taking swings at us until Hermione apparates us to a busy road.

We all yelp and run out of the way of a honking London bus, trying to comprehend the last sixty seconds as we breath heavily.

Theodore’s hand has a strong grip on mine as we all walk to the footpath, trying to find somehwere to change per Hermione’s demand. The busy city rages on, the bright billboards showing ads and people walking quickly here and there. We get many odd looks plus a few wolf whistles from a couple of drunk men on the street, to which Harry, Ron and Theodore stop, reaching for their wands or fists until Hermione and I remind them what’s more important.

“Where are we Hermione?” Ron asks, almost getting trampled on by a group of tourists. “Shaftsbury Avenue. I use to come to the theatre  here with mum and dad.” Hermione replies, “I don’t know why I thought of it, it just popped into my head.”

We walk into a dark, empty ally and Hermione reaches into her small bag, it engulfs her entire arm as she pulls out ordinary clothes for each of us.

“How the ruddy…” Ron starts, as we all change into our clothes. “Undetectable extension charm.”

“Bloody brilliant you are.” Ron compliments Hermione, making Harry and I smirk as we change our shoes.

“Always the tone of surprise.”

“Come on,” Theodore says, walking up the ally a bit after we’ve all changed, “Let’s go here for a while. We can figure out what to do next.”

We all follow him to a depressive cafe. Blue lights everywhere and its mainly empty, spare the moody waitress.

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

part eight done!! like i said, lowkey shitty but done whatsoever

lmk what you think and feel free to give me requests<33

taglist:

@timmytime17 @cherry-hoe @jetblackpayne @ash-tarte @coolestgirlhere @ama1a2 @kezibear 

[faelapis]

so i watch wwdits. and i gotta say. that was the worst episode i've ever seen of not just this show, but maybe any show. ever. wow. i'm actually impressed with how bad it was.

i'm considering doing a more serious dissection of how Not to do a character arc or narrative framing. but for now, let me just share some general thoughts:

undoing guillermos vampirism totally shits on his character arc of standing up for himself and taking what he wants regardless of the morality of it. i hate it and it sucks.

also, the reasons make no sense. guillermo has had zero problem killing people until now. the roundabout way they try to explain it, like wow, he could smell someone's shampoo and imagined him picking it out and felt their mutual humanity... why would that not apply to any of the other people he's killed? he's even had somewhat of a relationship with some of them. yet all he's ever done when they die is give a distressed frown AT MOST.

guillermo is a killer and always has been. lately, he's even proud of it. that has, metaphorically, been part of him "embracing who he is."

but what bothered me even more was nandor. we all know this situation (guillermo being turned by someone else) is his fault for neglecting turning guillermo for 13 years... but instead, everything is framed as guillermos own fault for having someone else turn him. like - look at how mad you made nandor, guillermo. look what you've caused, guillermo. look what you made him do.

which, yikes. i feel like i dont need to say how bad that is.

even worse than nandors jealous rage.... i really hate the stupid condescending "forgiveness" afterwards. thats actually worse. like guillermo was right to be meek and apologetic for this, like it IS something he needs to be forgiven for. but its "okay" now because nandor "forgave" him. lets just move on. no need to interrogate nandors entitlement over guillermo.

you can argue theres the unstated idea that nandor is overreacting. sure. we, the audience, dont want guillermo to die, and thats part of the irreverent way the show treats death and killing.

but still, yknow?

i feel like i'm taking crazy pills, because the real question isnt whether nandor should "forgive" guillermo. in this context, guillermo has done nothing wrong. nandor totally reneged on their agreement as vampire-familiar. guillermo is supposed to serve nandor, and in return, nandor is supposed to turn guillermo. but he keeps not doing it, and in general being shitty towards guillermo. so guillermo takes matters into his own hands.

that COULD be a great character beat. it could confront nandor with his selfishness, and this uneven power relationship where he gets guillermo to stay by not fulfilling his promise.

but the question of whether guillermo should forgive nandor for not turning him, or for throwing a fit when someone else does? not even brought up. even though that really seems like the most pressing question. its crazy how subservient and apologetic guillermo suddenly is, like its S1 all over again. he does some token yelling at nandor, but his primary emotion is clearly guilt. its not enough to remotely change the shitty framing.

look. this show doesnt exactly have much "morality", and i dont want it to. i dont want any of these guys to become upstanding citizens. i like the irreverent tone and how theyre all killers.

but i do care about character arcs and agency.

guillermo has been treated like hes inferior the whole time hes been a familiar. and hes put up with it because he wanted to be a vampire. so by becoming a vampire, he forces the relationship to become equal. he also finally gets what he wants. which is ESPECIALLY poignant when it happens regardless of what nandor wants. it takes back his own agency over the situation, because nandor CAN'T hold it over his head anymore.

and then nandor doesnt like it. and goes into a murderous rage because of own entitlement at being the one to turn guillermo. thats fine as a starting point to a character arc, but guillermo doesn't even stand up for himself. he doesnt fight back as he should - or really, would, given how he's evolved to be more assertive. and then its reinforced by the stupid "forgiveness", like nandor has any right to forgive someone who did nothing wrong. it sets up this convenient scenario where nandor is not confronted for being a shitty master, but guillermo IS confronted for taking control of his own life.

and now, just as conveniently, guillermo just... doesnt like being a vampire, either. so nandor gets to further be a "good friend" making amends by helping "unturn" him. all framed like its about guillermo finding out what he "really" wants.

this is lame and it sucks. not only because guillermos reasons make no sense (again, he's been a killer this whole time? if anything, his arc is more accepting his own lack of morality), but because it resets the chessboard in a way where nandor doesnt have to learn anything.

nandor doesnt have to confront the sting of guillermo having agency to make this choice without him. he doesnt have to deal with the fact that it never got to be him who turns guillermo. he doesnt have to be forcibly confronted with the fact that he now has to treat guillermo as an equal, because guillermo now doesn't need anything from him.

and it sucks because all that could actually be a great jumping off point for them to, despite everything, start a real relationship. maybe even a romantic one. they could mutually realize they actually care about each other. regardless of this pact.

and you can say that by guillermo deciding to be human (as extremely lame and deeply uncool as that is), it also gives them this "equality." because he would stay with the vampires because he wants to, not because he needs something from nandor.

but you're missing the point - its NANDOR who needs to learn. its HE who needs to be confronted by guillermo making his own choices.

so guillermo just... conveniently changing his mind because he was a full vampire for one (1) fucking day and suddenly decided he's too good to kill people?

it robs nandor of that entire arc. and no, i'm not counting his stupid "forgiving" guillermo as learning to treat him like an equal. that would require a lot more introspection about his own entitlement. that would require him to actually say with his chest that guillermo had every right to make this choice, and its not on nandor to forgive him, its on guillermo whether he would forgive nandor.

that doesn't happen. what actually happens is nandor decides to show guillermo "mercy," which, again, firmly places the agency in nandor's hands. at no point does he have to be vulnerable and accept that guillermo might not want to be with him. at no point does he have to introspect about how he's treated him this whole time.

also. there is a long, proud line in patriarchal thinking of husbands "forgiving" their wives for perceived "disobedience," which only reinforces the husband as the head of the household and that said wives "should" have been more obedient. forgiveness is not always an act of kindness. sometimes it's very condescending. which it is here.

(same for the interpretation i've seen from some, that nandor "always knew" guillermo wasn't cut out to be a vampire. like that's why he didn't turn him. what a horrible, condescending idea. i don't know how you can look at nandor being like "i'm not going to give you what you want, because i know better than you" and not think it's shit.)

yes, i'm aware of the cheating metaphor. but its a bad metaphor. at least, not without acknowledging that its been an unequal relationship for 13 years where one partner has been neglecting the other constantly. at that point, the nuance should really come out and maybe the partner "cheating" isnt the worst here.

but that doesn't happen.

also... it's just a bad episode. like. in general. like the whole thing with the guide, where you think she actually gets to assert herself? sounds great. too bad its totally undone by gaslighting her into thinking they do like her and are nice to her. like the problem is they just didnt verbalize that "enough." thats yet another bullied or ignored character whose arc of standing up for themselves (even by immoral means, because its an immoral fantasy show) is undercut.

it sucks. guillermo sucks for losing his defiant streak (and metaphorical empowerment through vampirism), nandor sucks for being entitled. this whole show sucks. i suck for bothering to stick with it so long. i'm done. i'm out.

[reds-writings]

hii!! can i request

10. lashing out even though they know they will regret it from the angst prompts for rust

here's some sunny and rust angst! felt like it was fitting for when she first starts helping rust!

The pointed silence bleeding from you was more unnerving than Rust thought it could be. He had lashed out, shamefully so he’d regretfully admit. Marty had pissed him off a great deal earlier today and the fact that he always had to be hovered over one way or another was igniting a frenzy of feeling particularly fucking agitated. He loathed feeling so helpless. Whether it was a fragile sense of masculinity that had been subconsciously engrained within him or he was just being a dick because he could would be a question for the ages. 

The clinking sounds of dishes that the flow of sink water couldn’t drown out made him feel guiltier by the minute. It was the lack of routinely nonsensical humming during any simple task that made an impact. Your spark had been put out for the afternoon. 

And he was the rotten asshole who did it. 

Over what? All because you had to help him eat due to muscles of his own still on the mend from being stuck in a shitty hospital bed for weeks on end? There was certainly no need to harshly shove you away along with the plate of carefully crafted lunch you prepared to the floor in a heaping mess with spiteful curses. His resentful act had you frozen in place. Rust wasn’t the first patient to be so callous when you were just trying to do your job but it hurt all the same. He was a tough nut to crack so far in the two weeks you’ve been with him but today it was made clear your efforts might not ever be valued. 

The minute wobble of your lower lip was nearly imperceptible but the glaze that took form over your eyes sure wasn’t. Hating to be seen so emotionally exposed, you wordlessly stood up to grab a few paper towels to hopelessly clean up Marty’s rug. There’d be a big stain but you were sure Rust was due for more of a verbal lashing than you would be once you relayed the day’s events. 

God, this job didn’t pay nearly enough as it should with some of the crap you had to put up with. 

Rust kept his uneasy gaze on the TV in front of him. Old football highlights sounded foreign to his ears as he had trouble fighting away wanting to grovel for his mistreatment towards you. The most undeserving of receiving anything in the shape of cruelty. Marty would have him by the fucking ear, that much was true, but that bothered him less than his current predicament of trying to formulate a formal apology. One that wasn’t tinged with predictable apathy or a mashup of bumbling words. 

The sound of water suddenly shut off and the soft padding of your feet drew close again. His eyes darted towards your choice of socks for the day. Adorned with cartoonish succulents, a joke scrawled out near your calves: ‘What’s up succas?’ They were awful, but you had been excited to present them as soon as you stepped through the door this morning. It just made him feel more shitty. 

“Would you like for me to leave early today? I can have someone else come in for your night doses and bandage dressing.” You’d never sounded so prim. It was jarring. 

He fumbled for a strong answer, “...N-no.”

“Would you like me to sit away and give you space for the remainder of the day?” 

Your posture was set in a stiff cast. Unease infiltrated the room, growing thicker by the second as his brain wracked through all its confusion and veining remorse. You were like a different person. Forced into the protocol of taking residence as an even-keeled, unfeeling nurse. You wouldn’t allow him the image of being thrown off-kilter by his meanness. You could only let people walk all over you for so long in these instances even if shoving away instinctual kindness and immediate forgiveness hurt. 

“No.” He tried and failed at sounding more resolute. What was wrong with him? 

You didn’t say anything, visibly deflating as you pressed a thumb to the space between your brows. It was clear he had you at a loss of what to do but he couldn’t hold you as an awkward hostage any longer. 

“I’m sorry.” It felt as if he had to force it out of his windpipe. Uncomfortable and unsure.

“Okay…”

“It was rude of me to-...behave as I did.” His eyes were everywhere but yours. If you weren’t so drained you’d giggle at the absurdity of Rust looking so timid. You straightened up to do your best at upholding your firm resolve. 

“There’s no excuse for it. It won’t happen again.” He pushed out and you just nodded. A teeny smile teasing the edge of your lips. You were getting a kick out of this. 

“You’re not bad to…” He hesitated and you waited.

That spark was coming back. 

“...have around.” It might’ve been impossible for him to look more embarrassed than he did from his spot on the couch. You put a hand to your mouth to suppress your growing grin, turning to the side in mock thought over his apology. It wasn’t the most graceful but you figured it was something coming from him. Turning back to him you yielded,

“I will humbly accept this apology. But we have to watch whatever I wanna watch before I leave tonight. The girliest of picks to make me feel better.”

He mulled it over but knew there was no winning right away, “Sure.”

You wiggled in a mini burst of victory before plopping down on the couch, still conscious of his need for space, and smiled as you got comfortable. 

“I’m thinking along the lines of Pretty in Pink. Oh! Maybe Roman Holiday-...” You rambled on about the movies you planned on torturing him with that he’d positively pretend to sleep through.

He was going to need help from whatever higher power was willing for him to navigate the colorful force that was you. 

[myloversgone]

Comfort

Pairings: Dean Winchester X You

Rating: Mature. Mentions of sex. Language.

Warnings: None that I can think of.

Summary: When Dean is away, Y/N has vivid dreams about him.

A/N: Hi! I’m alive! I’m also in the middle of my final exams, I have a shitload of term papers to finish and research to do, but I had a dream last night that I couldn’t ignore. Oh, and I’m also hormonal. I wrote this on my phone in like two hours, so forgive me if it’s too shitty and enjoy!

My Masterlist

Last night, I dreamt about him. It was such a vivid dream. I could feel his skin, warm and soft against my cold one, the short hairs on the nape of his neck pricking my fingertips, the weight of his body between my legs.

I was also seeing us from above, if that makes sense. Sounds creepy, I know, but I guess that’s how dreams work. I could see every muscle of his smooth back moving under the skin as he thrusted into me. My arm was wrapped around his shoulders, as well as my legs around his waist.

I couldn't exactly see my own face since the room was mostly dark, only the streetlights through the window casted shadows on our joined bodies. But, for a minute as we moved together, I saw my expression contorted with pleasure, eyes closed and mouth open. I was feeling myself tightening around him. We were reaching our peaks.

"Open your eyes, baby", Dean told me, and I felt his hot breath on my face.

"Let me see you", he whispered right after, trying not to interrupt the silence of the night or the connection we were sharing.

I felt a knot in my throat. I wanted to cry of emotion and pleasure. I love him so fucking much it hurts sometimes. It hurts that I can't have him with me all the time, that I can't stop him from suffering, that I can't end everything that's evil in this world so he can finally be at peace.

So, I do as he says, I open my wet eyes, hoping the tears won't make him stop. I'm emotional because I feel happy I can provide him with moments of happiness and pleasure. He gives me so much, we’ve come a long way since we've met.

I can never forget the day he came to my door, years ago, when shit was about to get really ugly. We knew each other for a long time by then, and Dean always had a hard time talking about feelings.

"When I picture myself happy, is with you", he declared that day, and I could barely believe that those words were coming out of Dean Winchester's mouth. By then, he'd never told me something like that. He would show his feelings for me through gestures, touches. He would bring me food or pick me up at work, things like that.

One night, on my birthday, I got stuck working overtime, and when I got home, he was waiting for me with dinner he cooked by himself. The sex that night was amazing. It always is with him, but that was the first time I felt like we were making love. It was like one more step into our relationship.

So, a few weeks later, when he came to see me another time, I told him that I loved him. I had put a lot of thought into that, because I knew it could scare him away, but I felt it was worth the shot. I also knew he probably didn't have many people telling that to him before, and I think he needed to know he deserves to be loved for the man he is. I told him in the morning, after breakfast, when we were making out in the kitchen. His hands were already under my dress, and the words just spilled out of my mouth.

To my surprise, he looked shocked for a few seconds, but then he smiled, not only with his mouth but also with his beautiful green eyes.

"I love you too", Dean replied, and I knew he was only able to say it back because he trusted me. I hope I’m always worthy of his trust and love.

Since then, we say we love each other every time we feel like saying it. Over the phone, in texts, in person, while we're eating together. All the time.

To be honest, I fear for our future. Maybe I'm being silly, but I know we're meant to be together. I feel that every time he comes home to me. I tell him my home is his home too, but he says he can't stay. Sometimes he’s here for a week or two, but then a case comes up and he needs to leave. After Sam got back from Hell, 15 days is the longer he stays. He comes visit all the time, though, whenever he can. I've been to the bunker a few times, but I have a regular job, so I can't stay away for long.

Anyways, I cannot ask him to stop hunting and live a normal life with me, because I know he would never do that. And I don't want to lose him. I'm fine with what we have, but I wish I could take the weight off his shoulders.

I wish I could keep Dean safe. I can't, though, and it makes me cry every time he leaves.

That’s why when he's not here, I dream about him. Like last night. It's been 13 days since the last time we were together and, even though we talk every day, I miss his physical presence. Not only because he's impossibly handsome, and tall and overall perfect, and the most amazing lover, but also because he's so... comforting. Dean fills up a room, he brings me so much light, he makes my heart feel lighter. That's why I always miss him so much.

When I woke up this morning, feeling sad, frustrated, and horny, let's be honest, and I remembered that vivid dream, I immediately texted him.

Y/N: I miss you so much. I had a dream about u.

His answer was almost immediate, thankfully.

D: Hey, darlin'. I hope it was a good and naughty dream. I was just thinking 'bout u.

Y/N: It was kinda naughty, yeah :) it's been so long. How are u doing?

D: Wow, can't wait to hear everything about it, baby. I'm good. I'm actually on my way to u. We solved a case kinda close, so I'm heading there. Sammy's driving, don't worry. I'll be there in like two hours.

Y/N: Can't wait to see u! I'm gonna wait for u guys with lunch. Love you <3

D: I love you too. See u in a bit ;-*

We had lunch and Sam left a few minutes ago, and we're already all over each other. Dean's on top of me, between my legs on the couch, and the feeling is the exact same as it was in my dream. Even his smell is the same.

He's shirtless and I'm running my hands all over his broad shoulders while he’s kissing my neck and chest.

"So, when are you telling me about that dream of yours, huh?", he asks, interrupting my thoughts.

I laugh at his timing. "We're about to make it become true, De", I answer, planning on making the most of our time together.

Until he leaves and I dream about him again.

------------------------------------------------------------------

TAGLIST: @sexyvixen7; @candy-coated-misery0731; @dean-winchester-lover99; @thoughts-and-funnies; @avanatural; @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior; @eevvvaa; @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes; @djs8891; @akshi8278​

[answer2jeff]

the fatherhood theory:

my take on lip gallagher finding purpose in parenthood.

First things first, I quickly want to congratulate the writers for beautifully articulating the accuracy of Lip's initial reaction to Freddy's birth.

Tami had an extremely complicated birth that resulted in her requiring surgery. Lip, both as a new father and as a boyfriend, was legitimately terrified. He couldn't decide if he should stay with Tami or their son. His thought process probably included the possibility of the mother of his child suffering, further trailing to the fear of fatherly absence. Naturally, considering Lip's lack of a genuine father figure, contributing anything remotely resembling neglect or failure to accommodate to his son feels like the worst and most unforgivable thing he could ever do.

Secondly, I want to say that although Tami is quite different compared to Lip's other love interests, I think she was relatively realistic at the time. She has drive and compassion, and Lip loves a good sarcastic girl who affectionately ridicules the guy she loves. She's abrasive in a way that is more meant to establish her intelligence rather than actually put others around her down. Tami is also terrible at accepting criticism, but doesn't respond in the explosive anger that Lip does. She's more passive aggressive than, well...aggressive aggressive. Even though it's not quite the healthiest, it's much more flexible than rage.

In short, Lip sees a lot of himself in Tami. But, she's a more put together, determined version of him. She's the star that Lip never really turned out to be, even if she's not absolutely perfect. Their relationship is accurate for the conditions of the show (and Lip's life.) Tami doesn't give Lip a lot of opportunities to self sabotage because she's pretty much dubbed herself the lead of their relationship.

(not ignoring the fact that she said he'd be a shitty father by the way. that crushed my soul and i'll never forgive her but that's besides the point.)

Having to decide to let professionals (doctors and nurses, who he notoriously does not trust (rooted by capitalistic healthcare environments and the need for independence due to his childhood trauma), try their best to help Tami when she was literally blue and unresponsive, was difficult and extremely scary.

However, once Freddy has been properly cleaned and prepared to be held by his father, Lip suddenly finds the answer to so many of his interpersonal questions.

"I seem to have ruined everything I was once good at. Is there anything I won't automatically ruin just because I don't think I deserve it?"

Fatherhood.

"Would I be any better at this than my parents were?"

Yes, with practice.

"Would I be able to break the cycle?"

Yes, with love.

"Is it necessary for me to feel so deeply about the world?

Yes. Even if it's painful.

"And was it ever worth hiding that with anger?"

To some extent, yes. You wanted to protect yourself.

"Am I, deep down, past my inevitable quickness to rage, a good person?"

Yes. You always have been.

In hindsight, his excitement for becoming a dad seems kind of obvious considering his overjoyed and emotional reaction. But I think we can dig deeper beyond this surface level impression. Even if it's genuine and ultimately very good at showing Lip's love for his son. Something that I think really prepared Lip for the complications of parenthood was the time period during his time as a college student taking care of Liam.

He'd been surrounded by family members for his entire life that he did not trust. When Fiona, his beacon of support throughout his whole childhoo despite their complicated sibling relationship, made such a grave mistake that reflected neglect, Lip felt unsafe. Both Frank and Monica were typical offenders of drug and alcohol abuse. And they regularly dabbled in allowing these substance issues to affect their children.

Now there was really nobody in his family he could trust. Lip would have to re-learn how to fend for himself and his family. He's had plenty of experience, but he had a support system. Even if it contained his own siblings who lived the same abusive life as he did. But now that he didn't trust anyone around Liam, he literally had to become his primary caregiver.

"You're the closest thing to a dad we've ever had," said Ian Gallagher.

Becoming Freddy's father was the love that Lip needed in his life. Girlfriends are replaceable. Lip has proven this. But he always believed that once you become a father, you do not have the right to back out. And he'd always hold himself to that standard.

This is your life now. Do it right, or go to hell.

People like Lip need to have people in their lives who unconditionally rely on them. His siblings have chosen many times (and rightfully of course) to handle personal matters without Lip's advice. He hasn't gotten to feel as needed or as important as he deserved to be. Having a child, though unexpected, was the missing piece to the endless puzzle that was his life's purpose.

Lip's desire to be a good father not only stemmed from the failure of his own parents, but the fact that guiding his siblings through life was the one thing that everyone around him that everyone was convinced he couldn't do better than anyone else. (Personally, I think Fiona did a great job as an older sister. I'm more speaking from the perspectives and opinions of his siblings.)

Lip will feel love for himself through Teddy. Once he can finally succeed for the long term, he will find peace.

Not to say that he's automatically perfect, because he's not (and no one else is), but he's ready to take on the challange.

Freddy is the love of Lip's life.

And he always will be.

[red-write-hand]

Wishful thinking

——————————————-

pairing -> carmen berzatto x m!oc

trope -> fluffy angst?

word count -> 1.5k (why did it take me 3 days??)

warnings -> a few allusions to spicy things??

——————————————-

The kitchen was busy and Carmen was not having a good day. He was frazzled and everything was going wrong in his eyes. Almost everything. Devon Caldwell was a british pastry chef that had started about two months ago and was now hellbent on never, ever, getting on Carmen’s nerves. Devon was always out of sight, doing everything possible. He was always on time, always doing everything to the best of his abilities, giving Carmen no reason to ever raise his voice. Devon was soft spoken, with that accent that floated through the air. It was never harsh, always calm and polite. Always ready to help. Always ready to do anything anyone didn’t do. There was something so succinct about Devon. Like, Devon knew the inner workings of Carmen’s brain and had picked it apart, stripped it of its defenses and ran off with the contents. 

Carmen shook out his hair one more time before running a hand through it, effectively undoing his previous action. He needed to find out what was wrong with Devon. Something had to be. Or better yet, he had to figure out what was wrong with himself that he was forgiving of whatever had previously flown under the radar for his temper. After retreating into his office to go sift through his thoughts, he slumped down into the chair. His eyes fluttered closed as he thought of the lanky British baker with that melodious accent that caressed his senses every time he heard it. Something that he could not put a finger on. His thoughts jumped to each feature of Devon’s trying to find an imperfection. Somehow, there was none. Not his freckles that stood out and peppered his face so much that it looked like a bad spray tan. Not the mediocre arms that sometimes looked strong enough to lift him off the ground and sometimes looked so skinny that made Carmen worry if Devon was eating properly. Wait, why was he worrying if Devon was eating enough? Why was he caring about him at all above his baseline concern for the high standard he wanted the restaurant staff at. Carmen just needed to think. Nothing more. He just needed to keep thinking about this…enigma of a man. That’s when he heard it. The talking outside of his office. That accent that he just couldn’t get far enough away from. 

“Yeah, it’s not a huge problem Richie. I know Carmen isn’t going to give me the days off — No! It’s really no problem. I’ll just spend Christmas in my flat— apartment, sorry American language goes over my head sometimes. Yeah, it’ll be fine. I’ll just—“ That was when Carmy burst through the door looking as if he opened it by chance. 

“Dev. You fuckin’ idiot, you’ve made too much shit. You’ll take up space doing nothing for the holidays. Just go.” Devon looked surprised. This was unlike Carmy. This sounded like a shitty excuse for something else but Devon didn’t question it. He looked stressed which was much more Dev’s speed. Carmen ran a hand through his hair. This was both beneficial for Devon and for him. He needed to get his thoughts in order. This boy, this fucking dream, was a little too much for him. He was not going to have a happy christmas unless that baker was under him. 

As if fate truly hated Carmen, Devon couldn’t get his car to start. Carmen knew it was late and he was not a fan of a pretty boy like Dev walking home alone. He was too nice, too trusting, Like an angel. One that Carmen definitely did not deserve. He did not deserve everything that Devon was. Half of him wanted to see if he could send Devon anywhere else, just so that he could spare him a fate to be working at this shit hole for the rest of his life. The other half of him wanted to see what kind of pretty sounds he could get out of his favorite employee. He needed to do something about this. It could not go on like this. There needed to be some release. 

This is how Carmy ended up driving Dev back to Carmen’s apartment and cooking him dinner (at the objection of Devon because “It’s really alright mate, I’m really alright.”) Carmen made him food anyways. There was no reason that Devon shouldn't eat, he looked so skinny. ‘Perfect for pinning to different surfaces’ Carmen tried to shake the thoughts from his head. There would be nothing like that tonight. Then it just got worse when Devon told him that his apartment was way too far from Carmen’s so late at night.

“I’ll just grab a hotel room mate, it isn’t a big issue. I’ll just grab my stuff and I’ll get going—“ Carmen gently held onto Devon’s wrist. Dev was warm. That was new. Dev was soft. Also new. He was everything Carmy wasn’t. He was calm, put together, nice (not that Carmen wasn’t nice, Devon just showed it more often), soft, and warm. Carmy always ran cold. The Englishman shivered. 

“Carmen, you’re freezing up mate. Lemme just—“ He took a couple steps closer and brought both of Carmen’s hands into his own. Then the thing that Carmen would remember the most, the look that the dark haired boy gave him. A silent ask if he could move forward. Carmy didn’t move so Devon took that as a yes. He brought the American’s hands closer to his mouth and gently started warming them up. There was complete silence. Not even the sounds from Carmy’s window sounded loud enough to disturb them. He had never been a real touchy feely person but it was obvious that the skinnier baker boy was. Something needed to happen. Something needed to burst. Something needed to be broken. As if time was frozen at that moment, nothing else existed.

Just Devon and Carmen, the two men standing in Carmen’s apartment kitchen. Just the baker trying to warm the chef’s hands. No one else existed at this moment. There was no beginning and no end. It was just the perpetual moment. Something that Carmen would fight to keep alive, if he could keep this moment forever, he would. He wanted this to last forever. He wanted more. He wanted the heat that poured from Devon’s every pore. The light that somehow shined brighter when the baker was around. He wanted only what Dev could give him. He wanted to close the distance. He wanted to feel the smaller man (Devon insisted they were the same height). He wanted to taste the man in front of him. He wanted to get drunk on him. He wanted to sink and drown in him. There was something about the man’s brown eyes that made Carmen feel safe, like Devon was silently promising to stay. The more the man warmed Carmen’s hands, the more calm he felt. Something monotonous. Something kind. It was calming. Something that Carmen hadn’t expected. He needed more. He wanted something that he couldn’t have. He wanted that safety. He wanted that happiness. He wanted that kindness. He wanted to have that heat.

Just to be able to see that perfect face every time he woke up. Just to be able to kiss those perfect lips. Just to be able to feel that perfect hair every time he wanted to. Just to be able to feel his arms wrap around him while Carmen made a meal for the two of them. He just needed to hear Devon’s laugh at every shitty pun Carmy made when he would cook. He needed someone to treat him like a person and not the chef everyone saw. The more the moment went on. The more it solidified in his head that he needed Devon. In some way, not even sexually. He just needed to be with him. Near him. He needed to be a part of the sunshine that emitted from him at all times. That sunshine that made everyone happier. He wished to have sunshine. If only he could just close the gap between them and feel the man’s lips against his own. If only he could get the courage. 

If only he could move any muscle in his body. It felt like an eternity when Devon finally dropped Carmen’s hands. They felt warm now, truly warmed. He wanted to hold Devon’s hands forever but he knew he couldn’t. He wanted Devon to stay. Stay with him forever. Right here. In Carmen’s apartment. Letting Carmen hold him forever. Why couldn’t he move? There was something stopping him. He heard Devon say that he would just catch an Uber. He heard the door shut. He inhaled the last of the smell of buttercream frosting. He knew Devon was gone. Gone into the night.

Something needed to break. Something needed to happen. Something needed to burst. He needed to do something, but really? He didn’t even know that Devon liked guys. 

———————————————

@atrwriting @birminghamshelbyboys @pinguwrites @forgottenpeakywriter @atsv-enthusiast @hanawrites404 @runnning-outof-time @no-fooking-fighting @no-1peakyfan @hllywdwhre @floralcyanide @cilldistilled @stridingseer @darlingsfandom @mrkdvidal1989 @lunavelha @aphroditeslover11 @henrywintersdearestgirl @thatwitchybitch420 @classicsandfantasy @marilynmonroefanfics @ninja-potato-shelby-solomons @scorpinelle @chellyrps @maxwell-demon @cassius-casim

[grippingbeskar]

salt, ice and fire | frank castle

chapter twenty - house training

warnings: explicit content 18+ (oral m receiving, mxf). mentions of death, injuries, canon typical violence. tiny slight bit of matt x karen but blink and u miss it really. they r just friends.

a/n: told u the next one was coming FAST. and it’s long too. also thx to everyone who said they enjoyed the frank w the kid situation going on, i was going to breeze thru their time together bc i didn’t think ppl would like that, but i added a lil part in this chapter just for u guys!! i love this chapter so much omfg. the whole gang is here!!!!

[series masterlist] [previous chapter]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It’s 4am and Frank Castle is wide awake.

Six months ago that was fine. He didn’t sleep much at the best of times. Even when he was in the army he couldn’t shut his brain off. Always thinking of what he needed to do tomorrow, if he’d be able to get home soon, what he was missing out on at home. He couldn’t stop thinking about Maria, his kids, what they might be doing, if they were safe. Even when it wasn’t about them it was involuntary— he just couldn’t shut it off.

But now, it feels like torture. It’s because of you— ever since that night in the hotel where you curled up next to him after he’d dragged you out of the water, he’d slept like a god damn baby. Just knowing you were in the room somewhere close, safe, in a four step radius from him. It just meant he didn’t have to think about any of that other shit. You were right there, and all he had to do was reach out and you’d be safe.

Now, he was cramped in a single bed trying to drown out the loud snores of a kid who’s clearly never had a good nights sleep in his life. He was laying like a starfish on his bed, out like a light as soon as his head hit the pillow. At least he felt safe enough to sleep here— some shitty hotel probably looked like a palace to him.

He’d already tried to call Madani about nine times in the past few hours, but she hadn’t so much as texted him. The one time he actually wanted her to call him, she doesn’t. It makes him feel sick— if something had happened to you, and he’d let you just drive away, he’d never forgive himself. Sam would never forgive him either.

Just as he’s about to try and close his eyes again, the phone in his bag buzzes. It’s quiet, but he’s been listening out for it inadvertently for fucking hours— it’s like an alarm. Ripping the phone out of his bag, he moves about as quiet as a bull, slamming out the door and closing it behind him, the small balcony about as much privacy as he could afford.

“Madani. I’ve been calling for fucking hours. Tell me—“

“Hey, Frank.” He has to put a hand on the railing to keep himself steady. Even just your voice, slow and soft through a muffled speaker manages to strip all that shit away and his eyes close, trying to breathe.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

“You haven’t slept.” Even through the phone you can read him like an open book.

“Neither have you.” You laugh quietly, and he can hear the quiet hum on of engine behind the sound of you.

“You get out okay?”

“We’re fine.”

“We?” He slides down the railing, his head feeling heavier now. Madani hadn’t told you. He doesn’t know how you’ll react, if you even wanted him to do this— you’d told him Sam wasn’t his responsibility, but he just looked so…sad.

“They were gonna put him in a foster home. I didn’t think I…”

“Sam’s with you?” Your voice is hardly above a whisper, and Frank can’t tell if it’s because you’re angry or you’re trying not to be heard.

“Yeah. Thought it might be easier for when you come back. He looked bad— back at the house. They didn’t know where he was gonna go.” There’s silence again, and his eyes close, listening to the sound of you breathing. He could fall asleep out here on the balcony to that sound.

“You didn’t have to do that for me.” Your voice shakes, like you might start to cry.

“Yeah, I know. The kid looked sad, though.”

“Softie.” He’s smiling so big like you’ve just told him some great fucking thing, but really it’s just because he can hear you now, making fun of him and it’s only been a few hours but he fucking missed it. Missed it so bad.

“Where are you?” He keeps his eyes closed as you tell him everything that’s happened, how you were heading back to Murdock’s place with Karen to lay low until he could figure something out for you. He swallowed his pride and hummed in agreement, knowing that was something he couldn’t do for you. It’s why he’d suggested it.

The sound of your voice was doing something to him that he couldn’t place, wrenching something free in his chest that had been stuck longer than he’d admit. He kept asking you things about the cases Madani brought up, if she’d told you anything about the Gnuccis and where Bobby might be now.

“Frank?”

“Hm?”

“You could meet me there. Only a few hours away now.” He knows Murdocks place. It’s not far from him either.

“Just a few hours, yeah?” You sigh, and if he concentrates he can see the face your pulling, eyes fluttered shut and your head back. He’s glad the wind is cold as shit out here, cause he needs to focus.

“Think you can hold out that long?” He’s laughing again, leaning back against the door.

“You think you can do any better?” Your breath hitches on the other line. “Missed your voice.”

“It’s only been a few hours.”

“So?”

“Yeah. Missed yours too.” You say it quietly, muffled slightly so no one else in the car can hear you.

“You miss anything else?” His voice is low and heavy, and you let out an even longer sigh. He sees your face behind his closed eyes again, and nearly groans. 

“I’m in the car, Frank.”

“I’m not.” You let out a soft curse, and it’s probably meant to be a warning but it sounds too fucking good. It’s like being starved, being away from you. He’s way too attached, he knows it’s not the time or the place but he never gets that right anyways, and he just needs to hear you. “Sound so pretty when you swear like that.”

“I’m going to hang up.”

“Nah. You missed me, didn’t you?” 

“You’re an asshole.” Someone coughs on your end of the line and he hears you straighten up. “Does Sam seem okay?”

“Yeah. He’s fine. Eats like a horse.” He lets you change the subject. If you were asking about anyone else he wouldn’t. Just a few fucking hours. 

“I’m scared he’s gonna be messed up. I don’t know what they did to him.” You shuffle again, and it sounds like you might cry again.

“Hey, don’t worry, okay? He’s alright. He ate a burger, slept, asked me a million questions and messed around with the radio for seven hours. Most normal kid I’ve seen.” A short, breathy laugh flows through the receiver. “He’s gonna be fine.”

“Thank you, for taking him with you. I wouldn’t trust anyone else.” He can’t keep his eyes open any longer, mumbling back some kind of response. “Need to sleep. I’ll—I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah. Real soon.” The receiver clicks off before he can say anything else. He doesn’t know how to navigate this shit— navigate you. He should of just said it. Said fucking something at least.

Real soon. Jesus Christ. He meant to tell you… when they shoved you in that car he should of said it back.

Sliding the door back open, he walks straight back to bed and his legs give out as soon as he finds the edge. He manages to sleep now, memories of you sending him unconscious in a matter of minutes. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Shit!” Frank flies upward at the sound, reaching for the gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans. He looks to the left and sees the kids bed empty, then hears something else break behind him.

The bathroom light is on, and he doesn’t think— the worst already running through his head. He kicks the door down, snapping the lock in one go, and the first thing he sees is the blood.

“Fuck!” The kid swears again, jumping backwards away from the aim of the gun, broken glass cracking under his feet. He backs up to the opposite wall so fast, Frank hasn’t even dropped his gun yet. “I’m sorry!”

“What the hell are you doing?!” He’s half asleep and not thinking right, dropping the gun, but the words come out angry and harsh. Blood’s running down the kids arm from his hand, which is clenched in a tight fist like he’s getting ready for a fight.

“I didn’t mean to— the light wasn’t working and I hate the dark! I thought if I just twisted the bulb… I’ve done it before but it smashed—“ He looked a lot younger than he is right now— skinny, folded over, eyes still darker than normal. Frank takes a step forward, glass from the broken bulb and cover crunching under his foot, and Sam straightens, his hand shaking a little. “I’m sorry— I thought I could—“

“It’s okay. It’s fine, yeah?” He tries, something about him being scared of him making him want to vomit. “You hurt?”

“No.” Blood continues to drip down his arm, and he’s still sticking to the corner of the bathroom. Frank goes to take another step, and more glass crunches. Looking down, there’s blood and glass all over, and the kid doesn’t have any shoes on.

“Just— stay there.” He’s staring at the floor, and Frank sighs, having no idea how to handle this— handle him. You were already scared he was going through shit you couldn’t help him with, the last thing you needed was to have Frank make it worse.

It wasn’t all that new to Frank, though— not the twelve year old kid, but the frozen reaction he had when Frank burst through the door, or the way he backed up and put as much distance between himself and Frank as possible. It was basic survival instinct, and he’s guessing the last time someone aimed a gun at this kid they weren’t trying to help him.

He came back into the bathroom to find Sam standing next to the sink, balancing on the toilet seat to avoid the glass, washing the cut on his hand. Using an old t-shirt, Frank managed to swipe away most of the mess to a corner of the room, the only noise the crunch of glass and the running water.

“You want me to take a look at it?” Frank breaks the silence, and the kids face doesn’t move, just stays staring at his hand.

“I’m sorry. About the light.” Sam says, and Frank stands, moving towards him slowly.

“Ah. Shit happens.” He shrugs, and Sam finally flicks his eyes up to him for half a second.

“I couldn’t do it.” Frank hardly hears it over the water, but he just keeps as still as he can, afraid to scare him off. “They wanted me to do what she did. Hurt people… and I couldn’t do it. I tried— but I never did it. Maybe if I could of, she wouldn’t be—“

“Hey— none of this is your fault. You hear me?” He crouches down, his forearm leaning on the edge of the sink. “Anything they did is on them alone.”

“She did it for me. Why couldn’t I do it for her? I could of tried harder. I’m not a kid anymore.” Frank knows he’s crying but doesn’t say anything about it.

“Let me see your hand.” Wordlessly, he reaches out, and Frank rifles through a tiny first aid kit, finding tweezers to start to pull the tiny shards of glass out. “The only thing your sister was worried about this whole time was you. It’s what older siblings are meant to do.”

“But I— ow.” Frank takes out a small piece of glass, and Sam flinches, but doesn’t pull away. Frank takes that as some kind of progress. “I wanted to help her. Like she helped me.”

“She did it because she wanted you to stay alive. And you did. You did everything you had to do.” Dropping the tweezers, Frank dries his hand. “Sometimes, the only thing you can do is keep going. Even if the people you care about the most aren’t there to help you do it.”

“Yeah.” To his credit, Frank bandages his hand without having to tell him not to move, and after he lets go, he stands, feeling the kids eyes on him. “They always came when it was dark. To try and make me… I don’t want the lights to be off.”

“I’ll leave the front one on.” Sam nods.

“Thanks. For—“ He holds up a now bandaged hand, and Frank just nods back.

“Go to sleep. We leave in a couple hours. Your sister called.” For the first time since he was eating, he smiles a little, then turns around and walks out of view.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Mornin’ sweetheart.” You hear in his voice but you don’t move, not wanting anything to wake you from this perfect dream. It feels so real, you swear you could even feel the warmth of his words on the shell of your ear, the press of his skin to yours.

One of his hands is splayed on your lower back, touching the small sliver of skin where your shirt rides up. You shuffle down slightly, encouraging him to go higher, and when he does you nearly purr with satisfaction. His chest presses against your arm with each inhale, and he leans closer, placing one sweet kiss to the side of your temple.

Your eyes reluctantly flutter open, but you can still feel the warmth of his palm, rough and soothing along your back. He kisses you again, and you know you can feel it; the dip of the bed as he leans forward, the warmth of his mouth, slowly kissing under your jaw, moving down your neck. You were conscious now, only just, but enough to think thoughts with some kind of rational.

���Frank?” He couldn’t be here. He was hours away. You swear you only fell asleep in Matts spare room an hour ago, there’s no way he was already here…

His nose brushes against your jaw, and his mouth is all softness as he looks up, finally hovering in front of you, pulling you awake with a slow press of his mouth to yours.

“Mhmm.” He hums against you. Every time his hand strokes up your back, your shirt comes up a little more. You shiver slightly, and he pulls you closer, your body turning to face him. He pulls back and kisses the tip of your nose. Your eyes fly open fully.

“You’re here.” Your arms don’t move as fast as you will them to, but instead they slowly wrap around his neck, and he smiles when you finally kiss him back. You shuffle up to taste more of him, feeling the soft strands of your now clean hair fall over your face. Frank groans, his tongue meeting yours with a desperate pull, fingers tracing the line of your cheekbone.

He takes control, flipping you underneath him now he knows your awake. He follows every single tired, subtle hint you give him so you don’t have to think— just feel him. Your back arches, and he knows you want him to wrap an arm under you, hold you up against his chest. Your fingers thread through his hair and he ducks down, leaving a trail of kisses down your neck, finding all the places he’s claimed as his.

You sigh as he slots himself between your legs, groaning your name in a horse tone when he feels your not wearing anything besides the shirt. As his hand slides over your hip, he pulls back to find the hem of it, then stops moving completely, hovering over you with a confused look on your face.

“Who’s shirt is this?” Blinking a few times, still coming out of your sleepy state, you tilt your head.

“What?”

“Where’d you get it?” 

“I don’t know? Matt gave me some cl-”

“You’re wearing Murdock’s clothes? In his bed?” Rolling your eyes, his hand on your hip tightens a little, the other tucking your hair behind your ear. 

“Frank. He’s helping me— he was being nice.” He leans down to kiss you, taking your bottom lip between his teeth lightly.

“Yeah. Real nice of ‘im.”

“This was your idea. You called him, didn’t you?” He inhales deeply, like he’s trying to savour the smell of you.

“To be your lawyer. Not walk around in his clothes.”

“Well, I’m sure he’d like it just as much if I walked around naked.” He groans, burying his face in your neck. “Please don’t tell me your jealous right now.”

“Tryin’ not to be.” His teeth now drag lightly along the sensitive part of your neck, just under your ear, and you gasp. 

“I just needed a shirt.” In one movement, he slips the shirt you were wearing over your head, throwing it somewhere in the room, and then takes his own off. “Happy?”

“Fuckin’ thrilled.” He peppers you with kisses even though your laughing, but when he presses his weight down between your legs you breathe his name, eyes closing, feeling that warm, shuddering feeling flood your body again. 

“Wait... wait where’s—”

“Karen and Matt took him out for food. Told you the kid eats like a horse.” You should probably ask more questions, make sure he’s okay, but Frank leans down again, kisses you so deeply that the dreamlike feeling comes back and nothing else matters— nothing else can matter but the feeling of having Frank like this.

His hands wander all over your body, scorching heat trailing every line his fingers trace. He pulls you down the mattress, torso lined below his mouth. He looks up at you, making sure you see his face when he kisses his way down a little lower. He murmurs words against your skin, your hands brushing through his hair, simultaneously pushing him down and tugging him toward you. 

“Frank...”

“What do you need?” He stops moving, head resting on the top of your thigh. The sight is fucking dizzying— how his hands look hooked around your legs, his eyes half dazed. You tug on his hair lightly, and he frowns, but follows your movement. Once he’s hovering above you, you flip him over in one move, sucking in a breath when the warmth of his chest presses against your thighs.

He moves where you put him, one hand in your hair, the other reaching out for you, running along your back, then your shoulder as you shuffle lower, and when you roll the waistband of his boxers down, his free hand fists into the sheets. Blinking up at him, he looks completely gone, his eyes only half open and his knuckles white with restraint.

You couldn’t help it, some baseline thing inside of you just wanting to give an inch of what he’s given to you. And he has─given so fucking much to you. Given you anything you asked for and more. You want to give him what he needs now— you.

You take him into your mouth, and you can’t hold the moan you let out at the taste of him. His hand tightens in your hair, wrapping around the length of it in a makeshift ponytail. He says your name, over and over, and with each slow motion of your mouth you take more of him in. You’re greedy— swirling your tongue around his head, taking your time to memorise the taste of him, the way he sounds when you take him deeper.

“Fuck— so fu— shit.” His head falls back, the rest of the words getting lost in choked out moans. The broken way he’s trying to tell you how good it feels only spurs you on, taking him deeper, not caring what you sound like or look like, only caring that he feels as good as he gives.

Taking him to the back of your throat, you swallow around him, and he borderline growls before the hand in your hair pulls you up slowly. You know it’s messy but you get the feeling he likes it, the way he holds you there, inches above him, his eyes flitting over your face.

“You’re fucking gorgeous.” He says lowly, and pulls you up so quick your arms give out, but he’s too fast for you to care. Swinging you underneath him, his mouth is on you, swallowing you like he’s never had you before. It’s desperate and messy, and it’s everything you missed about him, teeth and tongue and hands are all you can focus on.

It’s what it’s always like with him— everything ceases to exists, nothing else matters when he’s here in front of you, when he’s kissing you like you really are that fucking gorgeous and he can’t get enough. One arm wraps around his neck, the other is taken above your head by his free hand, fingers interlocking.

It’s something he does a lot when your like this, and you can almost read him through it. How his hand gets tighter the longer he fucks you, how he holds it there and doesn’t let go, keeps one hand on you until it’s no longer possible. Like he needs to keep you in arms reach. It makes you feel safe, and when he slides into you, there’s no where else in the world that’s felt more right.

Neither of you say anything other than each others names as he drives into you, slow and deep. It feels perfect— right, and when he pulls back to look at your face, there’s something you go to say. Something you’ve said only once, and something he didn’t say back. Three little words, yet they feel so heavy in your chest.

You didn’t expect him to, and really, if this was all you got from him, the way each stroke makes you feel like you’re on fire, and how he kisses you with so much hunger it makes you light headed, you could live with it. It means something different to him— he’s had that before, and maybe it’s not something he wants to have again, but you do. You can’t help it. Not when he’s looking at you like he is now.

“Frank…” You shudder as the hand on your hip trails softly across your stomach, down between your legs to circle your clit. He hums, the feeling against your collarbone as he dips his head to kiss you there, driving you closer to the edge.

“That’s it, baby. Taking me so fucking good.” He speeds up, lifting his head and pressing his forehead to yours. His hand squeezes yours and you’re pretty sure your eyes roll back in your head, the rhythm of his hand and hips sending you into over drive.

“Close, Frankie. Please—“ You beg for everything he’s already giving you, and he obliges.

“Atta girl. Let go for me.” He whispers into your ear, and your release cracks open from your chest and floods your body with warmth, your thighs already shaking around Frank. “Fuck— that’s its, I fucking… I love you.”

At the last second he pulls out, and you feel him spill onto your bare skin, the sensation only sending you further into your own pleasure. His mouth is on you in the second after his confession, telling you everything all at once, but you are too blissed out to know the magnitude of it.

The gentle caress of his thumb over your knuckles where your hands are joined brings you down, and the solid weight of his body on yours takes your focus, allowing your heart beat to slowly return to normal.

He picks up a shirt and cleans you off slowly, then slides another one over your head. It smells like him— his shirt. You’ve worn it before, but then in dawns on you that the only other shirt in the room was the one you were wearing before. Matt’s shirt, that he just used to clean you off after—

“Tell me you didn’t just use what I think you did.” He doesn’t lift his head from where it’s buried in the crook of your neck, but he doesn’t need to. You feel him smile, and you’d have the mind to say something but he’s so real and he’s here— that when he picks up his head and smiles at you, you just kiss him again. “I hope you plan to wake me up like that every morning.”

“You don’t wear anything else other than this—“ His hand fists the shirt you have on “— and I’ll do whatever you want.”

“How’d you get here so fast?” He pulls you onto his chest, and you squint, the sun shining brightly into your face.

“Not that fast. It’s 3pm.” Your fingers trace soft lines along his chest, straying further down when you touch the metal chain that holds his wedding ring. “Besides, had a little motivation to get me here.”

“A blowjob?”

“Jesus.” You look up, seeing him turn his head away from you to try and hide the red in his face, and burst out laughing.

“I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t know if I’d see you after they—”

“I would’ve come found you wherever they took you.” It’s only one sentence but it makes your heart feel like it’s on fire. “But that’s not what I meant. I—“

You both hear the door open, and three voices fill the once quiet apartment.

“Later.” You whisper to him and swing out of the bed, very aware of how Franks eyes trail you when you stand, his shirt only just covering your ass. “Clothes?”

“Bags in the bathroom.” His hands rest under his head, making no move to get up.

You grab some clothes, making a conscious effort to take Matt’s dirty shirt off the floor and shove it underneath your bag, and quickly change before the voices outside the door get too close. Coming out of the bathroom, Frank has found another shirt, and is doing up his belt Once his hands are free they are on you, like he’s holding on to the last three seconds of time alone you have.

As much as you can’t wait to see your brother just outside— you know he’s safe, and you can hear him laugh at something, so you lean into the touch, coming up on your toes and turning your head to kiss him. He groans against your mouth, feeling your fingertips tread through his hair, and if the voices weren’t so close to the door, you’d lock it and keep him here all day.

“Later.” He says before kissing you on the forehead and letting you go, heading towards the door.

Opening it, your feet move faster than your brain does, and Sam spots you as soon as you walk into the room. He calls your name, giving you enough time to see his face— safe and smiling, before he grabs you and hugs you tight.

“Missed you too.” When he lets go, you bend down, and then you see his bandaged hand. “What’s this?”

“Tried to change a lightbulb. Don’t worry about it.” Frank answers for him, and the two of them look at each other with some kind of knowing look, but Sam looks grateful so you don’t push it.

“You been okay?” Sam nods, looking over to Karen and Matt.

“Yeah. I ate six pancakes for lunch. They just kept bringing them on these plates! It was fucking cool.” You can’t wipe the giant grin off your face, and you turn to Karen and Matt.

“Thank you.” Karen smiles and Matt shrugs, and then you remember what you’re here for. “I’m really— I don’t know how to repay you guys for everything. If there’s anything you need from me…”

“All I need is time. And for you to keep your guard dog from peeing on my floor.” Matt motions to Frank, and before you can figure out how he knows where exactly Frank is, he’s continuing. “Bobby Gnucci is AWOL. Without him, we have to rely entirely on getting Agent Madani to grant you immunity after the fact.”

“After the fact of what?”

“When you came to her the first time, and said you’d work with her, you didn’t sign anything. There wasn’t any record of it, there was no terms— no one even knew your face. Now she’s got you on record, and practically extracted all the information she needs to clear her own name. Knowing her, she’s not going to throw you under the bus, but without Bobby…” It’s clear even Matt is still trying to work through this thing. He sits down on the couch in front of him, Karen moving around next to him. “We have two options.”

“Okay.”

“One, we go to trial. That means sitting you in front of a public jury, your face and your brothers plastered on every newspaper and television in New York. It won’t be long before it turns national, considering your… record.”

“You’re supposed to win trials. You’re a god damn lawyer— it’s your job.” Frank says, standing behind you.

“I didn’t say we wouldn’t win. I said it would be public. Everyone would know you. Ignoring public opinion, the thing that’s been keeping you safe all these years is the fact that no one knows who you are. Once they put a face to the name… you’ve killed people in almost every major gang and organisation in the country. Bobby could be the least of your worries.” You swallow hard. Having enemies in New York was hard enough to track— let alone the entire country. And then your brother would be involved… you look to Frank, who knows exactly what it means to have enemies who would stop at nothing to hurt you, including going through one’s you love.

“Option two?” You say hopefully, and Matt sighs.

“Did you ever read what happened after the Punisher trial?” The question confuses you, but you rack your brain. You remember reading about the trial, and how hated he was. You don’t think you ever asked about the outcome, although you assumed he got out. He’s here, and free— which is more you can say for you.

“I don’t think so?”

“They killed him.” Karen says, and you laugh for a second before you realise she’s not joking.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Madani. She faked my death in a shootout. Said I got caught in the crossfire. Made me a passport and got me a new life just outside the city.” Frank continues, and you turn to face him.

“And that worked?”

“For a while.” He says, a hand brushing yours. He looks back up to Matt. “You reckon she’d go for it?”

“Not without a lot of work. I’d need time. And a reason for you to…”

“Die? Surely we can find that. People get shot every day in New York.”

“Your brother, too. And it would still mean your faces go public. It has to be big.” You look at Frank, and he’s got that trained look in his eye that tells you he’s thinking the same thing as you.

“You said Bobby went AWOL. How do you know?” You pick up the newspaper on the desk, reading over Karen’s article about the death of the Colonel.

“Ever since they got Sam out, he’s disappeared. No phone calls, no emails, not even a ping on any of their networks. It’s like he’s completely disappeared.” Karen says.

There’s one place you can think of. One place that’s dark enough, lonely enough and isolated enough that someone could disappear for weeks, months even and no one would ever know. One place that no one would be looking anymore because it’s supposed to be desolate and evacuated.

“I’ve got a feeling we can avoid that all together.” You look up at Frank, and he smirks. “Feel like another road trip?”

“Road trip?” Karen asks, and they both stand from the couch.

“Washington D.C. He’ll be there.” Frank says as you put the article down.

“How do you know?”

“There’s only one place I know where a guy like that can disappear. Plus, he’s sentimental. He knows I know where he’ll be, and he wants me to come to him.”

He wants you to come back to him— that was the real truth, but there’s only one man you’d cross state lines for, one man you’d cross anything for, and he was standing right beside you, like he’d do for as long as you’d let him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

tag list:

@stress--relief

@hellskitchens-whore

@blkwayne

@itwasthereaminuteago

@margoo0

@daisykins

@paryl

@urlocalgeek

@hello-lisa1026

@castlesnchurches

@superbreadsoul

@lemon-world1

@officalpetergriffin

@batcreep

@quackson03

@violetsandroses8

@turningtoclown

@yourfriendhenrywinter

@peaky-shelby

@hollandorks

@23victoria

@fluffysteampunkd

[siouxiesiouxtryhard]

Sweetheart - (eddie munson x reader)

Ch. Fifteen - Shelley Duvall Pretty

summary: a month after the upside down is shut down "for good" eddie and y/n's closeness brings out badly hidden feelings cw: 18+ (minors dni) this is obnoxiously long, unfortunate use of y/n, language, you can sing now btw, SMUT, hair pulling, small insecure feelings, oral (both f and m receiving), moment where eddie needs help giving head, teasing, unprotected piv sex (wrap that shit bitches), light choking, fluff -i think that's all- author's note: hey!! sooo it's finally here lmao. I wanted it to be realistic instead of making eddie a god at giving head because he's had sex like maybe twice? (it probably wasn't even all the way tbh) And there's been a HUGE gap from then to now. So it just didn't make sense to me to make him a sex god. BUT IT'S HERE AND IT'S HAPPENED!!! Anyways, that's all love you <3

<<Part 14 --- Part 16>>

It had been a month since that night and Y/n and Steve had become the most unlikely duo in Hawkins. King Steve and the lady freak. Best friends? Never. He should be making fun of her, not helping her carry her books to class.

In that month, Steve had gone on to drop all his shitty popular friends and decided to hang out with people who would actually care about him. He also decided to forgive Nancy for what happened on Halloween, and he was happy for her and Jonathan. Steve confided in Y/n on the phone about his decision and he sounded so proud of himself. Y/n grinned and congratulated him before she hung up and went to Eddie’s.

Speaking of Eddie, he and Y/n had been hanging out a lot more often. To the point where Eddie was just waiting for an excuse to ask her out. And inviting her to Corroded Coffin would give him even more of a chance. He wanted his friends to meet her. The perfect time came when they decided to start doing some heavier songs that none of the boys could sing. And because Robin a little birdie let it slip to Eddie that Y/n could sing, he thought it was the perfect opportunity to ask her.

“You want me to come sing with your band? Why can’t you do it?” Y/n asked. Eddie smiled, running a hand through his hair.

“Because! I don’t have any kind of vocal fry and Gareth doesn’t wanna shred up his vocal cords for a high school band,” he said. Y/n squinted, humming as she thought it over for a bit. “Fine. But only if everyone in your band says it’s okay if I stay,” she replied. Eddie was so happy she said yes he almost kissed her right there. But that would be too soon.

When band practice came around, Eddie brought her to Gareth’s, and he introduced them all. Jeff was welcoming and started joking around with her almost immediately, but Gareth was apprehensive. He had to listen to Eddie gush about Y/n for a month now and he thought she was a poser. He just didn’t trust her. She’s here for five minutes and all of sudden she knows all about Eddie and they’re best friends? Yeah, that’s suspicious. Y/n very quickly “auditioned” for the band and Gareth still argued about it.

“I just don’t see why you guys can’t do it!” he exclaimed, “Look, I don’t wanna step on toes or anything. I’m just here because Eddie asked me,” Y/n said, putting her hands up in surrender.

Gareth crossed his arms, “Another thing. How do we know she’ll be dedicated? Especially if she’s just here for a favor.” Eddie rolled his eyes, taking his guitar off. Y/n shuffled her feet, feeling awkward as they argued over her.

“You know Gareth, we all like her. You’re the only odd one out so, if you don’t like her you can always leave,” Eddie said. Y/n shook her head frantically.

“Hey, do-don’t kick Gareth out. It’s not a big deal, I don’t wanna do it if all of you aren’t okay with me staying,” Y/n said. Gareth’s nerves dissipated a bit after that. If he wasn’t okay with her being in the band, she wasn’t going to stay.

He wasn’t saying she isn’t talented. To be honest, her voice was a perfect fit for the kind of music they wanted to play. Gareth squinted at her, glancing from her to Eddie. Eddie was sending him a pleading look. Band practice would give him more chances to hang out with Y/n and work up the balls to ask her out.

“Top three bands. Go,” Gareth said.

Y/n stuttered, “Uh, Metallica, Motley Crue, Black Sabbath? Wait! No! Ozzy!” she finished. Gareth hummed, “She’s in.”

And as Christmas break approached, and Y/n played her first gigs with Corroded Coffin, Eddie grew more antsy as the days went on. Y/n had been spending pretty much every day at his trailer. She would wait for him to get back from Hellfire or a deal. She had even started packing lunches for Wayne and forcing him to take them to work instead of eating McDonald’s every night. Everything she did was making Eddie fall for her harder when he saw her. He wasn’t one to believe in love at all, but he could believe in it for a little bit just for Y/n.

Eddie tossed his arm over the back of the couch and unintentionally around Y/n as she sat down right beside him with a bowl of popcorn. She insisted on making it “the real way” which meant that Y/n rocked up to Eddie’s trailer with a bag of popcorn kernels and oil.

His eyes widened and he groaned in satisfaction at the buttery deliciousness that flooded his mouth. “Okay, that is actually so fucking good!” he exclaimed, shoveling a handful in his mouth. Y/n giggled, covering her mouth so she didn’t show him the chewed-up popcorn.

“Am I right or am I right?” she laughed.

Eddie nodded, popping another piece in his mouth, “Absolutely.” Y/n bopped his nose, “This is why you should never doubt me, Munson,” she replied. Eddie smiled brightly, “Never again.” Y/n smiled at him and turned to watch the movie. Eddie had never seen Poltergeist, so Y/n was forcing him to watch it with her. At this rate, he still wasn't going to see it. Every few seconds Eddie would look at Y/n, her face being lit up by the TV screen.

He decided to just go for it.

“Hey…” Eddie said. Y/n hummed, still watching her movie.

“You’re really pretty,” Eddie said. Y/n felt a pang in her chest, and she turned away from the screen to find him already looking at her.

“Huh?” she scoffed, “You’re, like, really pretty,” Eddie replied, smiling dreamily at her. Y/n sent him an amused smile, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.

“I-I just mean you’re pretty in a way I’ve never seen before,” Eddie stuttered, trying to be smooth.

“So, I’m weird looking?” Y/n squinted playfully, totally joking with him.

Eddie’s eyes widened in panic, and he backtracked, “No! No! I just mean I’ve never seen anyone like you before! Wait- no, hold on,” he said. Eddie held up a “wait” finger and thought for a second. “I mean, I think you’re pretty in a way I’ve never thought anyone was pretty before. You’re not weird looking at all, I just mean you’re pretty in a different way than I have seen someone,” he said.

Y/n nodded slowly, “So, like Shelley Duvall pretty?” she asked.

Eddie smiled nervously, “I-is Shelley Duvall pretty?” he asked. Y/n shrugged, “I think so…” Eddie smiled in fake confidence, “Then yes!”

Y/n laughed at him, rolling her eyes. “Sorry… I can’t explain things right. I can’t, like, speak when I’m around you?” Eddie laughed, “I know. I usually do the talking when we’re together,” Y/n smiled, taking another bite of popcorn. Eddie shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess you just make me nervous. Can’t really form good sentences.” Y/n shot him a look, not really understanding what that meant. “Okay, this is not going how I wanted it to,” Eddie sighed, running a hand through his hair, and standing up. Y/n set the popcorn aside and turned to sit properly on the couch.

“Eds, what is going on? Like, are you okay? What’s wrong?” she exclaimed. Eddie groaned to himself. He can’t just outright say he had a crush on her.

“Nothing! It’s nothing!” Eddie replied, putting his hands up in defense. Y/n narrowed her eyes and gave him a stern look.

“Edward…” Eddie winced, “James…” Eddie whimpered a ‘no!,’ “Munson…” Y/n finished.

Eddie whined like a child, “Not my full name!” he groaned, “Eddie, you tell me what’s going on,” Y/n demanded. She felt bad pressuring him to tell her what was going on, but he put himself in that situation by bringing it up.

Eddie sighed, “I ju- I can’t tell you!” he said, tossing his hands up. Y/n squinted, “Why?” she asked. He shook his head, mumbling to himself, “This isn’t right. It’s not right. This is going all wrong.” Y/n took another bite of popcorn, deciding that if he wouldn’t tell her, she would just watch the movie.

Eddie huffed and sat back beside her. “Okay… I-I can’t tell you…” he trailed off, staring at her. Y/n gave him a deadpan look. Eddie took a moment of staring at her and finally got the courage to say something else.

“Know what? Fuck it, I’ll just show you…” he murmured, cupping Y/n’s cheeks and kissing her. Her eyes widened and she froze up in surprise. Eddie’s heart dropped into his ass, taking her response as negative. “Shit, shit, shit! I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry,” he apologized frantically. Y/n shook her head casually, “I didn’t say that…” she said.

Eddie stopped and looked at her. “What?” he asked, a smile slowly creeping onto his face.

“I was just caught off guard. I don’t mind.” She replied.

Eddie was shell-shocked. No way this girl was into him. “S-so, if I kissed you again, you wouldn’t be mad?” he stuttered. Y/n smirked and shook her head. Eddie smiled widely and leaned in again, kissing her gently. Y/n kissed him back and wrapped her arms around his neck. Eddie scooted closer to her as they continued kissing. He hesitantly put his hands on her waist, slowly laying her back on the couch. Y/n leaned on her elbows and smiled into the kiss.

Fucking. Finally.

Eddie pushed some hair out of her face, cupping her cheek as he kissed her again. He simply couldn’t believe it was happening. Y/n smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck when he leaned down and kissed her again. The kisses quickly turned fast and needy, Eddie wincing when Y/n put her thigh between his legs.

“Is this… Is this o-okay?” he stuttered. Y/n bit her lip and nodded, pulling him down to press their lips together again. She whimpered into his mouth when he ran his rough jean-clad leg along her clit. Eddie smirked lightly, running his hand along her body. “Bedroom?” he panted. Y/n nodded, yelping when he picked her up and wrapped her legs around his waist. He kept kissing her, nearly bumping into the wall on the way before dropping her onto his bed.

Eddie sat up, pulling his shirt over his head, and leaned back down. Y/n smiled, running her hands through his hair. She pulled lightly on the brown curls, earning a groan and a buck of his hips into hers. Y/n smirked on his lips, trailing her hands down his chest. Eddie hummed, hands on her hips. His heart was pounding in his chest. He had wanted to kiss her like this since he met her. Y/n brought him back to attention when she threw her leg over and rolled them over until she was on top. Eddie laughed, laying back on his pillows. He trailed his hands up and down her thighs, staring up at her.

“You look so good on top of me,” Eddie said, gripping her thigh. Y/n smiled, leaning down to kiss him, pulling him up to sit and wrapping her arms around his neck. Eddie smiled, sliding his hands up and under her shirt, holding her bare waist. Y/n pulled away from him to pull her shirt over her head and kissed him again to distract him from her torso. Eddie almost pouted about it. He wanted to see her.

He pulled away briefly to kiss down her neck and to her collarbones. Y/n tossed her head to the side, squeezed her eyes shut, and tried not to feel insecure right then. Eddie sucked angry red and purple spots all down the side of her neck and along her boobs. Running his hand up her back, he could feel the change in her demeanor and pulled back to look at her.

“Are you sure this is still okay? W-we don’t have to do anything,” Eddie asked. Y/n nodded, running her hands up his arms.

“I want to. I promise. I just get a little insecure sometimes,” she shrugged. Eddie glanced over her face, searching for any sign she didn’t want to do it. He grinned, sliding his hand into her hair, and kissing her deeply. The amount of emotion he put into it drew a soft moan from Y/n and she arched her back. She loved kissing him. She could kiss Eddie for hours on end if he would let her. Eddie kissed her so passionately and he put his whole being into it. And she loved that.

Eddie disconnected their lips, leaning his forehead on hers. “You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Don’t be insecure, okay?” he whispered. Y/n smiled and nodded, sliding her hands down to hold his. Eddie grinned, kissing down her body until she was laying back down.

“Can I?” he breathed, laying between her legs. Y/n nodded, biting her lip through her smile. Eddie smiled and pulled her skirt and underwear down her legs, kissing her calf on the way. His eyes widened now that he had the real thing in front of him. His fantasies did not do her justice.

He leaned back down and wrapped his hands around her thighs before licking a stripe up her folds. Y/n gasped, turning her face into the blanket when he chuckled at her reaction. Eddie went back in on her, tongue flicking and sucking on something that was not what he was looking for.

“Mm- Eddie, babe, stop,” she said, pushing his forehead.

Eddie whined but pulled away anyway, “What’s wrong?” he asked.

Y/n smiled, running her hand through his hair. “Um, just, you’re kinda, like, missing it,” she said. Eddie blushed and he glanced at her pussy right under him.

“Shit… no way it’s been that long. Uh, I’m sorry can you sh-show me?” he stuttered, ears burning.

Y/n giggled, “It’s okay! I got you. Here.”

She took Eddie’s hand and led him to her clit, showing him how to play with it just how she liked it. “There?” Eddie asked, repeating her motions.

“Yeah…” Y/n moaned, “J-just do what you were doing with your tongue there and you’re golden.” Eddie smiled, seeing her start to fall apart a little bit. “Like this?” he mumbled, replacing his thumb with his mouth, and pulling a moan from her. Eddie smiled, gripping her thighs so she didn’t clamp them shut around his head.

Y/n gasped sharply, shutting her eyes, and gripping the sheets. “Fuck pull my hair, baby,” Eddie groaned, diving right back in. Y/n whimpered and gripped his hair, arching her back and tossing her head back.

“Oh my god you look fucking perfect, sweetheart,” Eddie grinned, pulling back briefly. Y/n smiled and rolled her eyes, “Shut up,” she breathed.

Eddie slipped two fingers in his mouth before sliding his middle finger inside her. “Shit! You’re tight already,” Eddie laughed. Y/n giggled, “You’re such a bully!” covering her face with her hands. Eddie giggled thrusting his fingers to get her to open up some more. He leaned back down and kissed, licked, and sucked at her clit. Y/n leaned up on her elbows, gasping and gripping his hair. Eddie groaned, closing his eyes, and moving faster.

“’M close…” Y/n breathed.

Eddie whined, his eyes rolling back under his lids. “Cum on my face… please… please baby I need it,” Eddie whimpered. Y/n smiled, dropping her head back as she tensed up and her orgasm hit her like a train.

“Fucking Christ!” Y/n groaned, falling back on the bed.

Eddie licked up her release, moaning hungrily at the taste. “You taste so sweet, Y/n…” he breathed, licking her off his finger. Y/n grinned, reaching up for him. “Kiss me,” she whispered, pressing her lips to his again. Eddie smiled, groping her boobs, and trailing his hand down her body. Y/n giggled and shoved him onto his back, straddling him again. She leaned down and pushed his head to the side, sinking her teeth into his neck.

“Holy shit!” Eddie whispered, breathing heavily. Y/n snickered, leaving matching marks all down his neck and collarbones. She slid down his body, looking up at him once she got to the waistband of his pants. Eddie cursed and frantically pushed them down his legs, kicking them off clumsily and earning a laugh from Y/n.

“Relax, Eds, we have all night!” she laughed.

Eddie breathed out a laugh and slowly pushed his boxers down. Y/n pulled them off his ankles and tossed them. Her eyes widened when she saw his dick.

“Quite the opposite actually… I just wasn’t expecting it to be that big,” she giggled. Eddie blushed and smiled, looking away so she wouldn’t see his flaming cheeks. “It’s a good thing, baby. I’m just hoping I can take it,” she said lowly, leaning down and licking the tip. Eddie jolted and hissed, scooting up the bed. It really had been a hot minute. He was so sensitive and with how tight she was with just his fingers; he was worried he wouldn’t last longer than four seconds. He was also worried he might hurt her, but she didn’t seem to be too hung up on that with the way she was stroking him.

She wasn’t expecting it to be small, but she wasn’t expecting him to be hung either.

“W-what? Is it, like, small or something?” Eddie laughed nervously. Y/n shook her head quickly. She was just a little shocked.

Eddie bit his lip, attempting to keep his hot embarrassing sounds to himself. Y/n frowned and grabbed his balls before glaring up at him. Eddie cried out and looked at her with wide eyes.

“Don’t you dare hold back those noises. I love when guys are vocal,” she groaned. Eddie smiled and nodded, kissing her nose. Y/n leaned down and took him in her mouth, bobbing her head up and down on him. “Oh fuck!” Eddie whimpered, grabbing for her hand. Y/n giggled on him, the vibrations sending him to a whole other plane of existence. Y/n worked him like a pro, running her tongue over all the right places, that thick vein that stuck out a little more than the others, that especially sensitive spot just under the head.

And Eddie was a mess!

Whines and moans flew from his mouth and straight to Y/n’s cunt that was practically dripping in anticipation. “Okay! Okay! Okay! Stop, stop!” Eddie breathed hurriedly, gently pulling her off him.

Y/n tilted her head with a questioning look, her eyes asking what was wrong. “I don’t wanna cum yet… Not when I haven’t been inside you yet,” he said.

Y/n smiled and crawled on top of him again. “Condom?” Eddie whispered.

Y/n shrugged indifferently, “I’m fine either way. I’ll leave it to you.”

Holy shit she was fucking perfect. Eddie wasn’t against condoms in the slightest. He thought they were great, and they prevented a lot of unwanted kids and diseases, but sex without a condom was twelve times better than with one.

“Fuck where have you been all my life?” Eddie groaned, squeezing her thighs with a laugh. Y/n laughed and kissed him quickly. Eddie groaned, biting his lip in excitement when she lined him up.

“Ready?” she asked. Eddie nodded and she sunk down on him for the first time. Eddie’s jaw dropped and he let out a harsh breath before gripping her hips tightly. Y/n winced quietly and whimpered once he bottomed out inside of her.

“Holy fuck, Y/n. Shit! You are so fuckin’ tight mama,” he groaned, dragging his nails down her thighs. Y/n smiled and clenched purposefully, drawing another higher-pitched moan from him. “I’m gonna move now if you think you’re ready,” she sighed.

Eddie nodded and took a deep breath, “I-I’m ready. I don’t know how long I’ll last sweetheart,” he laughed nervously. Y/n smiled, running her hands through his hair, and pushing it over his shoulders. “I don’t mind. I want you to cum,” she said, testing the waters by rolling her hips. They both moaned and Y/n couldn’t stop once she started, and Eddie didn’t want her to stop.

“Shit you feel so good!” Y/n gasped, gripping his shoulder. Eddie moaned, his back arching as he held her waist to help keep her pace steady. Y/n groaned, starting to bounce on him in addition to rolling her hips steadily. Eddie hissed at the new angle, hitting new spots on him she wasn’t hitting before. Eddie squeezed her hips, his cold rings leaving indents in her skin. She looked down at him, his lips parted as whimpers escaped his mouth and his eyes set on watching her fuck herself on him. Eddie looked back up at her with his head thrown back.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful riding my cock,” he whimpered out when she clenched around him. His room being filled with moans and the sounds of skin against skin. Eddie moved his hand to circle her clit, making Y/n moan as her hand trailed towards his neck and she wrapped her hand around his throat, squeezing, “F-fuck,” he choked out.

Y/n let him go in fear of hurting him, but Eddie was quick to grab her hand and place it back around his throat, “Do it again,” he moaned as he rubbed her clit faster. Y/n clenched around him again as she continued moving her hips faster and squeezed his throat again, choking him. “Oh God, just like that,” he whimpered, screwing his eyes shut.

“Yeah? You’re close aren’t you?” Y/n asked, panting heavily. Eddie groaned and nodded, struggling to keep his eyes open.

“I am too. I wanna cum with you, baby,” Y/n whimpered.

Eddie moaned, “Fuck yes, pretty girl, please cum with me!” he cried. Y/n tensed up, her legs starting to shake around his hips.

“Oh, I’m gonna cum. Fuck I’m gonna cum!” Eddie moaned, digging his nails into her hips. Y/n moaned, speeding up just a bit more to get them both there and Eddie broke first, throwing his head back and moaning loudly, basically crying as she rode him through it. His release triggered hers and Y/n cried out, falling on top of him as she shook.

“Fuck! Oh my God, fuck!” she whimpered. Eddie gasped, wrapping his arms around her, and burying his face in her neck. “Oh my god, Y/n, you’re fucking amazing. Fuck!” he breathed, smiling into her shoulder.

Y/n groaned and laid on her arms on his chest, looking up at him with hazy eyes. “That… was the best sex I have ever had,” Eddie laughed. Y/n giggled and nodded, tucking some hair behind her ear before slowly getting off him. They both hissed, sensitive from their orgasms.

“Be right back,” Y/n sighed, walking into the bathroom, and leaving Eddie in his room. He smiled stupidly, covering his face with his hands. He just fucked Y/n. He just fucked Y/n. The girl he thought was unobtainable and completely out of his league just had sex with him in his trailer. Y/n came out of the bathroom with a washcloth in hand and wiped up the sweat and any cum that got on Eddie in their “endeavors.” Eddie smiled, taking the towel from her, and tossing it into his overflowing laundry basket. Y/n grabbed Eddie’s shirt off the floor and slipped her panties on before giving him a new pair of boxers.

“I am so tired,” she giggled, laying on his chest. Eddie wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close and kissing her forehead. He hummed in agreement and they both silently agreed to talk about whatever they were doing later. Eddie smiled softly, carefully tucking Y/n’s hair behind her ear. He felt a little creepy watching her sleep, but he didn’t know if or when he would ever get to look at her this close again, so he took the opportunity. Y/n mumbled incoherently in her sleep, pulling Eddie closer and burying her face in his chest. Eddie grinned, squeezing her lightly and settling into the bed himself.

taglist: @sisgotdemons @tlclick73 @deafeningmoontragedy @marjoriea13 @playfuloutcast @twosluttychains @leetaeilsnecktattoo @lil-quinnie @razzles-bottom-lip @originalstar1 @yessargeantbarnes @bebe0701 @shotgunhallelujah @uselessastheginlasagnaa @mynameismothra @niragis-right-hand-rabbit @shecagobaby @moviefreak1205 @munsonmunster @chonkzombie @sadbitchfangirl @screaming-blue-bagel @urdad-hot @kjaxm @xxaestheticboyxx @ok-boke @coffeeaddictednymph @ohmeg

<3

[starsofmilos]

Runaway (Adrian Chase x reader)

Synopsis: Adrian and you get into an argument but he completely forgets that your someone who will runaway from your problems when overwhelmed.

Ahhh I wanted some angst comfort!! I’ve just been really craving reassurance as well.

Masterlist

Warnings: arguing, mentions of violence, emotional trauma mentioned, shitty parents, angst, fluff, comfort

It was an accident.

Really in all honesty it was, but you were terrified. You knew how much this meant to him. You were just trying to help.

Tears brimmed your eyes as you stared at the crack along Adrian’s helmet visor. Adrian had been going through a tough time as of late.

He’d been running himself exhausted with his work and all the missions he’d been doing with the team. 

Along with his nightly patrols that he now might not be able to do until his visor is fixed. You whimpered trying to come up with a solution before he came home.

“Fuck!” 

Today was supposed to be a relaxing day, Adrian and you hadn’t been able to spend time as of late so he told you to come over to spend the weekend at his place.

You practically lived there, but since he’s been busy you felt weird staying there without him even though he reassured plenty of times you were wanted there.

In fact Adrian had actually planned on asking you to move in with him, but you didn’t know that. 

Once you had gotten there you wanted to surprise him so you showered and cleaned his place up along with making food for you both to eat. 

Only to trip really hard on one of his shoes sticking out that you hadn’t noticed and land on his bag full of his gear. The second you heard the crack, you ignored the pain from you knees immediately inspecting the damage.

Which led to now.

“He’s gonna be so angry...” You sniffled a bit trying not to cry as you stood up to get changed quickly. The front door opening made you grow more anxious as you walked out holding his helmet sniffling. 

Hopefully Adrian would forgive you. This was important to him. You broke it. You weren’t an emotional person, but the thought of disappointing the one person you held dear made you wanna break down.

“I’m home!- Oh crap Y/N you okay? Are you crying?” You looked down holding out his helmet.

“I’m so sorry..I didn’t meant too! I fell and I heard the crack! I’m so sorry!” You shook a bit as Adrian sighed grabbing it from you.

“Shit..Shit! I’m gonna have to replace it..” You whimpered as he set it loudly down on the table. 

“How did you fall?” He asked a bit exasperated. 

“I was cleaning and must’ve not noticed one of your shoes after my shower-”

“Why did you clean? Y/N you shouldn’t have touched anything!” You flinched a bit as he slammed his hand on the table.

Adrian was trying really hard to keep his cool, but was frustrated. He knew you didn’t mean it, but by this point his mouth wouldn’t seem to stop moving.

“God fuck! I’m not gonna be able to go on patrol for a while! Or missions!” You kept your gaze down feeling overwhelmed by his yelling.

Adrian knew you like the back of his hand. There were some things you chose not to share with him. Like how you grew up in a home were a simple accident had you sobbing from how bad your mother and father would yell at you.

How they treated you and how it caused you to shutdown in tense situations. Had he known maybe he would’ve walked away to calm down instead of spewing what he decided to say next.

“Did you do this on purpose so I can’t go? I know we haven’t spent time together-”

“No! Adrian I swear I would never! I’m sorry it really was an accident-”

“It’s fine I fucking guess! I just fuck dude! Fuck!” Adrian pinched his forehead sighing before taking off to the room.

“I’m really sorry Adrian! I didn’t mean too! I promise! I made food if you’d like some-”

“No Y/N just stop I need some fucking time.” He slammed the bedroom door harshly. 

You sniffled feeling the tears you were holding back come out. Covering your mouth to muffle your sobs you moved to the kitchen cleaning up the small mess from cooking before putting the food away in tupperware.

Crying as you sat on the couch, you kept everything off not wanting to bother Adrian more than you already did. 

You were honestly contemplating on going home. You made Adrian upset and he probably didn’t want you here anymore. You quietly walked to the room wanting to try to talk stopping as you heard his soft snores.

He must’ve fallen asleep from exhaustion. You sniffled once more feeling the overwhelming guilt consuming you. What if Adrian didn’t want to see you for a bit after this?

You grabbed your shoes slipping them on before grabbing your bag heading out. Your car was in the shop so you had walked to Adrian’s place, and you didn’t wanna pester Adrian for a ride home so you started the walk home.

Letting your sobs out as you made your way home. 

Adrian woke up a good hour later feeling around for you next to him. 

“Y/N?” He sat up seeing you not next to him groaning as he remembered the small argument.

“Shit..” He sighed standing up making his way to the living room. He knew he was way more harsh than he should have been.

Adrian felt like crap once he finally noticed just how clean everything was. He felt even worse seeing the tupperware of food sitting on the counter with a small sticky note for him.

‘Hey I know you’re sleeping and I didn’t wanna bother you so I thought maybe I’ll go home today.

I’m sorry again Adrian I really didn’t mean it. You can eat the food and call me when you’re feeling up to it.

Love you.’

Adrian felt guilt gnaw at him seeing his favorite. You cleaned and made him food and he went and yelled at you for something you didn’t mean to do.

He was an asshole.

Adrian gripped the counter fully remembering what had happened. You had been trying to make him happy. Adrian gripped his hair realizing how you said you had fallen and he didn’t even care enough to check on you. 

Immediately he tried to call you cursing as he saw your phone on the counter. Adrian didn’t hesitate grabbing his keys to go to your apartment.

You weren’t home though. Whenever you grew upset you kinda became a wanderer. It had been a habit since you were a kid.

Anytime your parents had decided to yell and take out their stress from the day on you, you’d end up taking off for a couple of hours wanting to not be anywhere near them.

Now you upset Adrian. You felt way worse upsetting Adrian than you ever did when your parents would yell at you.

You sniffled wiping your eyes again jumping as you heard a car honk. Turning behind you, you tilted your head seeing Adrian jump out of his car running to you.

“Oh thank fucking god!” You made a small muffled yelp as he enveloped you into a deep hug. 

“I was so fucking worried! You weren’t home and you left your phone at my place! Why did you leave?! Fuck me I’m so fucking relieved.”

Adrian had been driving around desperately looking for you. He grew terrified at the thought of you alone outside this late at night.

“Come on..” You nodded quietly as he took you to his car. He buckled you in kissing your knuckles before getting in the driver side. 

The car ride was silent. Adrian was waiting on you to speak and you were too scared to say anything. 

Adrian sighed once you both walked into his place as you sat on the couch scooting away a bit when he moved next to you.

“I’m sorry.” He hesitantly pulled you into a hug. “I’m really sorry Y/N I was a dick earlier-”

“No no! Don’t apologize! It was my fault-”

“No it wasn’t it was an accident. I know it was an accident. I just had a bad day, but that gave me no excuse to yell at you the way I did.” Adrian felt horrible as you sniffled trying not to cry.

“I really am sorry..I would never break it on purpose just so we could spend time together I do miss you but I know how important it is to you..I swear I would never..”

“I know. I know you wouldn’t that was stupid of me to even suggest that. You have nothing to be sorry about. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Why did you leave though?”

“I thought you didn’t want me here anymore. You said you needed some time-”

“To calm down sweetheart. Doesn’t mean I didn’t want you here. I love when you’re here. Just because I’m upset doesn’t mean I want you to go. I never want you to go. Even though I was upset I still wanted you in bed next to me.”

Adrian sighed as you cried a bit into his chest. He rubbing small circles into your back letting you sob a bit on him.

“I didn’t wanna make you so sad. I really am sorry Y/N..My helmet doesn’t matter-”

“Yes it does! You need it and I was an idiot and broke it!” 

“No you are not an idiot. I am. I yelled at you and left my stupid shoe out. My helmet doesn’t matter to me. You do. I promise.”

“I thought you were gonna hate me..”

“No no no! Y/N no matter how upset or angry I ever get nothing will ever fucking get me to hate you. I fucking adore you. I love you so much. I’m so fucking sorry..”

You sniffled returning his hug back wanting to feel him close. Adrian gripped you tightly. Angry at himself for letting you go and for making you feel like crap.

“I’m so sorry. Please don’t cry..” You nodded against him pulling back to wipe your face. Adrian stopped you though using his sleeve to clean you up.

“There’s my girl..Don’t cry over something I stupidly did..You’re worth way more than that..”

“I felt bad though..I upset you.”

“You didn’t. I was already upset and just took it out on you and I shouldn’t have. I love you and I should appreciate you way more than I do.”

You smiled a bit as he kissed your cheek. He stopped though hearing you wince a bit when he adjusted you on his lap.

“Are you hurt?” You looked away nodding.

“I hurt my knee when I fell..I didn’t get a chance to clean it cause I was worried you were gonna be angry at me..”

Adrian sighed setting you gently down beside him on the couch as he got the first aid kit.

You let him clean your scrape smiling as he kissed it gently after. “I’m such a shitty boyfriend letting the love of my fucking life be hurt and not doing anything about it sooner..”

“No you’re a good boyfriend-”

“No Y/N today I was not. I love you so fucking much. You should be way more upset with me with the way I treated you. You matter way more to me than some stupid helmet.”

You nodded as he adjusted you to sit on his lap cuddling you close. You grabbed his face kissing him softly.

“I love when you’re here so much..Please next time just yell at me or cry or scream instead of leaving. Don’t leave. Don’t run away..I always want you here.”

“I just felt really bad..My mom and dad would send me off when I was smaller anytime they got upset and I thought you wanted the same-”

“Fuck your mom and dad..I could never send you away. Never. We may get upset at each other or angry, but that never means that I want you to go away.”

“You sure?..”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything else besides the fact that I love you. Just because I’m angry doesn’t mean I don’t want you here. And this time me being angry was way out of hand. I had no right to do what I did to you.”

You sniffled kissing him once more. “I’m sorry I ran..”

“I’m sorry I made you feel like you had too. You don’t have to runaway from me. I was frustrated, but I never wanted you to go. I was a dick and I will spend the rest of my life to never make this mistake again because you are the one I wanna spend the rest of my life with.”

“Even though I broke something of yours?” You nervously mumbled. Adrian chuckled a bit nodding.

“Yeah. You should’ve thrown the helmet at me with the way I treated you.”

“I could never hurt you. I’m sorry-”

“Stop apologizing. You did nothing wrong now wanna eat some food with me and get some much needed rest. I’ll fix my helmet tomorrow and we can spend the rest of this weekend renting a moving truck to get your stuff in here.”

“Wait why would we get my stuff in here?”

“Fuck! I forgot to ask! I planned on asking you to move in! Here I was fucking thinking you said yes already!” 

You laughed as Adrian groaned. He grinned though as you bent over a bit still chuckling. 

“Will you move in with me-”

“Yes you dummy. I love you..”

“I love you too. Now I’m gonna spend the rest of the night making it up to you because you are so much to me.” 

You smiled feeling loved and safe. Adrian was your safe space. He kissed you lifting you over his shoulder laughing as you yelped dangling off of him.

[lizajane2]

Shadow and Bone 2x02

"What do you want with us then?"

"You? Nothing. Honestly, I'm not even sure who you are."

Nikolai and Baghra... their sassiness is on a whole other level.

It's so obvious that Nik here is captivated by Alina. I don't know how I feel about that, but they certainly have something that Mal and Alina don't. It's fun. New. Exciting.

Aleksander: "The ache of it."

Alina: "I don't what you're talking about." I'm lonely and even I can see that you are!

My favorite quotes:

"But you still have no idea what it means to fake countless deaths, to reinvent yourself after every rebirth, to lose every loved one to sickness, desperation, hate, and time."

And time... the way Ben delivered that you can clearly hear that while Aleksander has escaped death repeatedly but has been unable to escape time, how it weighed on him over the centuries. As though it's his greatest enemy when the truth of it is Aleksander is his own worst enemy.

2. "My Alina, you live in a single moment. I live in a thousand."

Props to Genya. As terrified as she is, she's doing everything she can to survive. Just let my girl go!! Go let her settle with David somewhere in the countryside of Ravka.

I'm guessing that's Jordie. And also, how shitty of a person do you have to be to swindle two kids? Pekka Rollins that's who, he may be King of the Barrel, but he's literally scum on the bottom of everyone's shoe.

"See, fear in a smaller glass is instinct." Huh, never thought of it like that.

"Makes you wonder what else he's willing to destroy." Oh ye have so little faith both of you.

Jesper: "Inej and I need to know the plan."

Wylan, trying to put his foot down and seem confident: "Um, yes, I... I too would like to know the plan."

Me:

The moment of silence when Nina sits back down with her waffles, LMFAO!! And Kaz's confusion when she finds out where Poel's office is. Priceless!!

I can't believe they give the prisoners bad lobsters. Gross.

Except he's not thinking about forgiveness. AND HOW DARE THE WRITERS STEAL A KISS SCENE BETWEEN MATTHIAS AND NINA FROM ME!! AND OFF SCREEN NONETHELESS!! HOW DARE THEY!!

I love the fact that they added gold embroidery into Aleksander's kefta to indicate his connection to Alina. "I will never wear your color." He certainly will wear yours though, Alina.

Ha, even Tamar walking in on Nik and Alina is like "I'm pretty sure I just interrupted something."

"You've kept me in this hellhole for weeks. And even I look better than you." Baghra, I love you and I have missed you.

"There are holes in the cave floors." Yeah, it's more than just holes in the ground, it's a gigantic sea snake.

All this time Jes wanted a demolition expert and he's like, "I'm not too sure about this skinny beanpole who just happened to show up out of nowhere. But he's also kinda cute." And yes, Wylan, Jes does trust Kaz. He's just questioning it at the moment.

And I don't know why Jes continues to hide the fact that he's Durast but dude:

"This won't end well, Kaz."

"No, it won't. But I'll be the one who ends it."

My man is so unhinged but he's also treating the people around him like pawns... fucking rude. They're not chess pieces you lunatic.

"My Alina."

It sends a chill down my spine. Every single time.

[ankhmutes]

MASH and Zombies

Here you go; this is for a MASH fic thing I decided to do awhile back from @doctorparmak​ (DM me if you want me to take down the tag, no hurt feelings). My prompts were Potter, 4077 guest, Winchester with a theme of Supernatural phenomenon. the topics were a bit UN-inspired so I had a drink or two and rolled with what I had. someone commented or re-blogged about a MASH fic of mine today, so I went back and took a look, realizing I had forgotten about some fics. This fic was left half-started, and... well, I went with it, with much apology to the spirit of the challenge. If anyone can think of a better title, let me know. I might put it on Ao3 tomorrow. I just had to get it out and post it before i fell asleep. This fic is totally un beta-’d ad hot off the press so forgive any mistakes especially sacrilegious plot holes and canon mess-ups.

So read on, if you dare, to see more shitty fics under the influence of alcohol. Okay, not much of an influence, more of a buzz, inspriation, and laziness, and just because i can’t shut the fuck up enough to actually post the story... please comment or DM or whatever, apparently that does light a fire under my ass and gets things done.

Klinger was the first one to see them. Having gone out to the dump to take care of some dirty linens beyond repair, he saw them. Two men and a woman, their bodies covered in blood and eyes wild, searching for something. Entrails hung out of stomachs, and decomposition had set in. It was more than obvious to the clerk that these people should be dead. 

“Zombies!” Klinger screamed, his eyes wide as he dropped the forgotten linens and grabbed for a nearby shovel.

“What?” Zale scoffed as he scooted out from under a jeep. “That's a bit rich coming… Oh fuck.” Having seen the corpses, zale followed suit and picked up a large, heavy wrench. “What do I do?” He asked anxiously, watching Klinger.

“I'll go get the Colonel, you hold them off. I think you need to get them in the head.” Klinger said breathlessly as he tried to hurry off to OR, hoping it would be safe there. He had a brief flashback to 1943, when he was watching “I walked with a Zombie.” it made him recall things from the movie, that he thought trivial but maybe… maybe, things weren’t all they seemed. 

“Colonel!” Klinger shouted, breathless as he heard screaming from beyond the OR. Hawkeye ran to the doors, followed by Houlihan and Potter, Winchester hanging back as Mulcahy trailed behind Hawkeye, BJ stuck in the middle, wanting to attend to patients in case something had happened. 

“What the hell is this?” Hawkeye shouted, watching Zale scream as two.. no, three- three skeletal Koreans covered in blood and guts went at him as if he were their last meal. Perhaps he was, thought Hawkeye as he heard Klinger babbling about Zombies. Zombies??

“Hold on boy- Zombies? what nonsense is this?” Potter asked with uncertainty, unnerved by the sight before him. He was used to blood and guts- but being eaten? no, not that. Not even the time they were starving in the cold trenches in 1914 France. There was a man eating what was left of Zale, at the edge of the compound by the motor pool. People were coming out of their tents and screaming, the two other...undead.. were trying to gnaw on anyone who came too close to them. 

“BACK!” Potter shouted, barking out orders as soon as he recovered from the bizarre sight before him. He slipped into battle mode, he was the Colonel for a reason. He had his boys, he had his nurses, he had an entire MASH to protect. Feeling the surge of adrenaline rush through his body as he took a deep breath and his blue eyes surveyed the situation. He had brilliant surgeons, nurses, but no one was an actual soldier. 

“They’re already dead.” Mulcahy fluctuated, his hands moving from his head to his shoulders. Making the sign of the cross and crossing himself was the only thing he could do at that moment. “I gave them their last rites yesterday.”

“If they died, and they are like this now….” Winchester’s eyes widened as he turned, running into the OR where chaos had erupted, Major Houlihan and Kellye beating back a patient, his chest still open from where BJ had been working on him, he recalled hearing BJ pronounce him dead only fifteen minutes prior to when they had heard Klinger screaming in Potter’s office. 

“Go for the head!” Klinger shouted, his arms waving as he tried to throw the nurses any kind of weapon to help them. Margaret grabbed a scalpel, Kellye pushing back, using a tray as a shield. Several wild stabs later, the zombie was rendered dormant, a scalpel stuck in the base of his skull. 

“Oh god, oh god. What is this?” Margaret cried, sobbing with Kellye, as BJ gathered them to him, comforting them. “We were just starting to close up when this happened.” 

“We’ve got to hurry, the morgue isn’t secured.” Potter said quickly, recovering the moment. They couldn’t waste time. “Father, how many?”

“At last count, twenty. Most of them villagers, from that sickness that swept through last week. Only three casualties, four if you count this poor soul.” Mulcahy held on to his hat, turning to watch from the window, as various members of the MASH unit had succumbed to the zombies. “Although, there may be more now.” 

“What?” Potter and Hawkeye both ran up to the window, gasping in horror as they watched Igor be torn apart by several corpsmen, who had been in turn, attacked themselves from their injuries. “That does it. Klinger, get on the horn and get us help. Everyone else, arm yourselves. You heard the man, aim for the brain. They can’t be helped.”

“If we get bit… Mulcahy asked, wringing his panama in his hands, his eyes looking around the Pre-Op for any kind of weapon as the others tried to arm themselves with bits and pieces of various bludgeoning, cutting, and stabbing abilities. 

“We can probably amputate, maybe?” Hawkeye asked, glancing over at Winchester who shrugged, all nobility leaving his body as he picked up a pistol, checking for ammunition and taking a sharp breath as he looked up, a thought dawning upon him. 

“If all fails, call my cousin John. He and his father specialize in strange things, and they might be able to help.” Winchester turned, writing down numbers and names. “He’s a man of numbers, and a black sheep, but semantics be damned.” Winchester slammed down the pen. 

“Do it, Klinger, if help won’t come.” Potter said with a nod, not caring one bit about the military rules. There was nothing that covered people that had come back from the dead. He knew Mildred- Mildred would understand. She was a strong gal, all the way through. She was a fighter, and he was too. Putting his wife out of his head, Potter briskly hustled to his cabinet, pulling out an old military saber. 

“I haven’t needed this since 1917. I think it still serves its purpose.” Potter turned, mildly surprised he still had followers. “What are you doing? Get! Arm yourselves and secure this hospital.” The surgeons and nurses scattered, Mulcahy securing patients while Hawkeye and BJ took one end, Hawkeye and Potter taking the other. Kellye and Margaret helped Mulcahy, dosing patients to make sure they would sleep through the chaos. It was easiest, so they could transport them efficiently  if needed. 

“This feels so unethical.” Margaret said with a sob, holding on to their last patient, making sure he would go down quietly. 

“We have to protect them, and we can’t do it if they can’t help us. Father- can you knock them out? You pack quite a punch.” Kellye said with an tilt of her head to the OR doors, where they could hear Hawkeye and BJ shouting to each other. Mulcahy nodded, turning and moving the patients to one corner, close to a quick exit. 

“I’ll make sure a bus is ready to go. We gotta be ready to bug out of here if we need to. I don’t know how far this has spread. From what I’ve seen now, if you are bit and you die, you come back quickly, and go after others. It’s … “

“Yeah, it’s madness.” Klinger said, interrupting Mulcahy and holding out the phone. “It’s HQ. They’re swamped.”

“Then call Winchester.” Margaret snapped, turning to glare at Klinger fiercely. “We don’t know what started this, when it happened, nothing- and maybe, just maybe he can help us.” Margaret half-sobbed,  Kellye patting Margaret’s back subtly to calm her. Taking a deep breath, Margaret looked up to Mulcahy. 

“I’m on it.” as if he had read Margaret’s mind, he moved to the front doors of the whole OR, looking out towards the motor pool. The bus stood where Zale had been. The doors opened, and inside came Potter, Winchester, BJ, and Hawkeye. 

“There’s nothing left anymore, there shouldn’t be by now. We got everyone.” Hawkeye said as he leaned against BJ, BJ mute with a hollow, thousand-yard stare. Potter nodded, turning to Winchester, who turned to Klinger. 

“I left a message with the men of letters, they should call back…. Hopefully. HQ is overrun. I can’t ring the 8063rd. I think they’re… gone.” Klinger whispered, not wanting to say a word. 

“Let’s barricade this camp. Nothing can come in or out.” Potter said decisively. “Sandbags everywhere, that should slow them down, and we are bunking down here, securing your own possessions for a bug out from here if needed. I will give you your assignments after we meet here.”  The survivors nodded, spreading out to their tents and packing up what they could of their possessions, ready to say goodbye to the 4077 if needed. Hawkeye packed up what he could of the still, his father’s letters, cards and his clothes. BJ packed up letters from Peg, pictures of his family, and his books. Charles gazed at his record player, giving it a fond pat before putting it in his foot locker along with his records and his clothing, paying no mind to any of his other possessions. He had money back home, and money could buy anything, and anything could be replaced.

Margaret ran into her tent, surveying her things quickly and packed up her clothes, equipment, and several books. She refused to even consider bringing any of the lingerie or comforts that hung in her closet. She wanted to be ready to survive, and survival didn’t mean running around in a kimono, even if she was fond of it. Kellye opened the door, her bag already packed with her clothes and some mementos from her family in Hawaii. 

“Margaret? We need to go.” Kellye sniffled softly, blinking away tears. She wouldn’t cry, not when they had faced worse. But this was new, and new took getting used to. Margaret nodded briskly, wrapping her arm around Kellye as the two walked back to Pre-Op. 

Father Mulcahy put his bible and his clothes in his footlocker, along with several spare sets of his clerical collar, and several bottles of sacramental wine, wrapping it carefully using his boxing gloves and sweats for padding. At the last minute, Mulcahy threw in a football and a deck of cards. He wasn’t sure what use they could be, but he wanted to keep people mentally and physically  fit, not only spiritually fit. 

Klinger threw in his civilian clothes, he knew his cotton dresses could double as bandages if needed. Nylons, and a variety of jewelry found its way in his footlocker along with the bare essentials. Klinger gave his mannequin a fond pat on the way out as he put on his Toledo Mud Hens hat and threw on his shirt over his fatigue. He didn’t want to be mistaken for one of those horrible things. 

“All accounted for?” Potter called out, closing down his footlocker with a soft thunk, making sure his photographs and uniforms were secured, along with several zane gray novels and bottles of alcohol. He knew they could survive anything, as long as they had useful tools, and alcohol was important. A jack of trades, and he wanted to be sure everything in his kit was useful and had more than two uses, save for his cherished possessions, but they were only placeholders for the things that truly mattered, his family and friends. 

“I believe so.” Charles said as he was the final one in, shoving his footlocker next to Pierce’s. “Has my cousin called back yet?”

“Not yet.” Klinger said with a frown, as he looked back outside the windows. 

“We have shelter. We need to secure an escape route, seal off the camp. Klinger, stay on the horn. The minute Winchester calls, holler… quietly.” Potter held up a finger, his eyebrows raised. “They go after noise, so we need to be careful.” 

“Yes, sir.” Klinger whimpered, nodding as he glanced at his fur coat, thrown over his chair from earlier this morning and sat down, wrapping himself in the coat as if comforting himself. 

“You three- “ Potter waved a hand at Hawkeye, BJ, and Charles. “Secure the perimeter. Sand bags, tents, I don’t care. Make sure nothing can get through.” BJ turned to Hawkeye, discussing logistics, Charles leaning forward almost physically throwing his opinions in.  “And no fighting.” Potter added as an afterthought while turning towards Margaret, Kellye and Mulcahy. 

“Kellye, you take care of the patients. Keep them calm, unconscious, I don’t care. Now that the threat is under control, some patients may be able to help us. Do triage, and decide who can help and who has to stay bed-bound. Tie them down, just in case ….” Potter nodded slightly, indicating the unspoken. Kellye nodded, knowing her calm and friendly appearance would cause the least problems and panic with patients. 

“Father, say a prayer and help Margaret secure a bus, in case we need to bug out. We need a direct route to the bus and latrines. We don’t want any of us to be a casualty while on the can. I’ll check in on everybody, and help whoever needs help, but please, cooperate and stay –”

RI–

“MASH 4077.” Klinger spat out quickly, picking up the phone halfway through its ring. “Yes, yes we called the Men of Letters. Charles Emerson Winchester the Third. We’re in Uijeongbu, Korea. Oh, really?...” Klinger trailed off, as Potter leaned forward and yanked the phone from Klinger. 

“This is Colonel Potter. We’ve had an incident here, and our HQ in Korea is down, as well as a MASH unit northwest of here. Yes, seven of us as well as eight patients.. Yes, a chopper and a bus. No, Major Winchester gave us the number. I see…really? Washington?  We are trying  to secure the camp the best we can, suggestions would be welcome. Oh, I see.. Okay, then. We’ll sit tight.” Potter hung up with a thunk of the handset. 

“Mule Muffins!” he snarled, spittle flying in the air as his spectacles glinted in the dull light. “They’re sending Charles’s cousins over here with Sidney. They were already in Korea, tracking this malady. There’s no cure, but they can get us out of here and back to a secure location, then we can contact Washington and they will get us back home.”

“Home?” Charles asked, leaning forward as Hawkeye echoed Charles in disbelief. 

“Home. There’s no sign of the problem back home, but they want to limit it, and we’re … I don’t know. Exposed, maybe, but… Lord only knows.” Potter said, slouching on Radar’s old cot and putting his head in his hands. Mulcahy crossed himself, and made the sign of the cross as he took off his hat, murmuring a soft prayer under his breath. 

“Okay, so that’s good news. We just need to stay put?” Klinger said, a half-shrug as he turned and leaned back in his chair. 

“They’re going to be making their way from Seoul. Sidney will be a big help, I’m sure.” Potter said as he looked up and slowly stood up, looking every year and more, of his age. “So let’s get to work. I want this camp to be as secure as possible by sundown, and we are barricading ourselves in here, once the sun’s down.”  

Hawkeye, BJ and Charles wasted no time going out and moving vehicles to fill in the gaps between tents, Mulcahy making a path from the OR doors to the latrine using boxes and other equipment that was laying around. Margaret moved bodies out of the way, occasionally having Mulcahy help. The bodies went into a small pile, Mulcahy putting some kerosene on the bodies to help them burn more quickly, opting to burn now instead of waiting until dark, when it could attract more of the undead.

Potter flitted from group to group, helping Hawkeye, BJ and Charles move tables from the mess hall out to the edge, making the MASH a big circle, and the OR a smaller circle in the middle. Anything in between was made to be an obstacle, or a safe space to hide in if needed. 

Klinger told Kelleye to keep an ear out for the phone, while he went to secure food, Potter helping Klinger carry in several boxes of MREs and rations, enough to last each person a few weeks. Potter then moved to Margaret and Mulcahy, stowing a box or two of MRE’s on the bus and the chopper, and making sure both had enough fuel for a quick getaway. 

As soon as it got dark, everyone gathered back into the OR, Mulcahy barricading each and every exit and entrance and covering up the windows. Kelleye lit two lanterns, and everyone gathered into Post-Op. Several patients were awake, having been filled in by Kelleye, Margaret and Mulcahy. The rest were either asleep or sedated. All of them were tied to their beds.

“Any further word?”

“I think they’ll call at dawn. I know whoever I talked to was insistent that we get secured and hunkered down by sundown.” Potter said  as he took a seat on an empty cot. 

“Who takes the first watch?”

“I can’t sleep, so may as well be me.” BJ said as he glanced upwards for a moment, his mind flashing back on his wife and daughter. 

“After dinner, we’ll all turn in and sleep in shifts.” Potter set up the watch schedule, while Mulcahy and Kelleye readied the food for everyone. No one was in the mood to chat, or even make any noise. The only sound in the room was eating noises. The night went on in a similar fashion, everyone turning out the lights and sleeping in shifts until the pre-dawn light crept through the cracks of the tent and an alarm clock began to ding. 

“Get that clock!” Potter hissed, sitting upright from a half-sleep. Klinger turned it off, wrapping it into a pillow. Charles let out a long sigh,and crept into a cot, wrapping himself up in the blankets. The phone started to ring, and Klinger grabbed it in a fluid motion, handing it to Potter. “Yes? I see.  A few hours? I’ll be sure to have someone greet you at the entrance. All right then. We’ll look forward to seeing you, too, Sidney.” 

“Well?” Hawkeye asked, leaning forward as his bathrobe tugged at him, cocooning him further into his blankets. Mulcahy’s eyes moved from Hawkeye to Potter, and back again. “When's the welcome wagon?”

“Settle, Pierce. Sidney and company just made it to the 8063rd. They’re still trying to secure the location, and they’ll be here around lunchtime. If they don’t come by sundown, they’ll be here by dawn tomorrow.” Potter let out a quick exhale of relief. They just had to stay put and amuse themselves, staying out of too much trouble for a while. 

“I can’t believe this.” Margaret finally said, breaking the silence. “I… I had to decapitate Nurse Able.. I keep seeing her eyes and mouth.” Her hand went over her eyes, and let out a sharp huff. 

“The Lord will understand. He- “

“There’s nothing, Father! Didn’t you see all of it?” Hawkeye shouted, waving a hand in an ‘out there’ sweeping gesture. Mulcahy’s eyes darkened, a frown drawing down his features, making his features appear sharper. 

“Hawkeye- Benjamin- I had to kill someone, too. I took someone’s life, but his soul had already departed. They were shells. Shells of..something. God would not do that. Not him.” Mulcahy said passionately, half-leaning over Hawkeye, his Panama hanging over his brows and obscuring his blue eyes. “So until you feel ready to tell me where exactly those things- got animated- you can’t tell me that’s nothing.” Mulcahy’s voice had risen only slightly, enough to show his fear and anger. No one had heard Mulcahy use that sort of voice before. They’d heard him shout, lose his temper, even punch out disorderly patients or staff, but no one had heard him allude to anything relatively close to Hell. Purgatory, perhaps, but never…. Hell. 

Brimstone, flames, and pitchforks Hell straight from Dante’s Inferno, or a horror film. Hawkeye’s features contorted in a twisted scowl, mildly surprised that Mulcahy had responded the way he did. 

“So, wait, are you saying these things are the opposite?”

“My cross found its way into the skull of one of the creatures. His eyes and blood turned black, and I could hear sizzling and smell smoke. I am pretty sure that it’s not… a good sign.” Mulcahy said with wide eyes, sliding a hand in his pocket and withdrawing a metal flask and taking a sip from it. “Alas, I couldn’t get the cross out of his skull, it had fused somehow. I had to use a pin from the tent.” Mulcahy let out a small huff. 

“Burning the bodies.. That was the weird smell, brimstone?” Charles asked after a long moment, turning his head to look at Mulcahy, sitting up from his prone position on the cot, having woken up at Mulcahy’s raised voice. Mulcahy shrugged, and put his hands on his knees. 

“I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.” Margaret said with a shake of her head, holding up a hand as she spoke. Klinger nodded his agreement, and Potter leaned back in his chair. 

“Sidney and company will have answers, I hope. Until then… we just sit tight.” BJ said, the first words he really had spoken. Hawkeye turned to BJ, slightly startled by the sound of his hollow voice. 

“Beej…” BJ didn’t reply, his eyes heavy-lidded and focused on the doors that led out to Klinger’s small office. Hawkeye flopped back down on the cot. Everyone spent the rest of the morning in silence, Margaret and Kelleye going to the latrine in a pair, both brandishing bayonets. Charles and Klinger took their turn after the women, followed by BJ and Potter, and then Mulcahy and Hawkeye, each group taking an ambulatory patient with them. 

“That’s what we saw in the 8063rd.” one of the patients whispered, leaning into Hawkeye as he pointed at the prone body of Zale, at the edge of the bonfire. “They just started eating each other. If you screamed, made noise, they’d go after you.” The patient promptly threw up, Mulcahy patting his back. 

“So it was there first?” Hawkeye asked thoughtfully. 

“It must have made its way through the villagers. There’s a few villages between here and 8063. It must have come here with that flu.” Mulcahy said with a nod, putting the pieces together. “We just need to find that… missing piece.” 

“Sidney’ll have it.” Hawkeye said confidently, helping the patient back into Pre-op, his head tilting as sounds filled the air. “I think we might have company.” Hawkeye whispered, putting the patient back on the cot, turning to Potter and Klinger.

“Try not to use the guns, unless they come in here.” Potter said as he handed handguns to the patients, a Sargent Dixon, Lieutenant Lincoln, and Privates Grimes, Rhee, and Jones.  Each patient nodded, having gained an understanding of their situation from their trips to the latrine, and their memories of the 8063. Everyone else picked up melee weapons, and it was decided that Klinger, Kelleye, Winchester and Margaret would be the final line of defense, ready to take the patients over to the bus. Potter, Mulcahy, BJ, and Hawkeye would slowly creep out to just outside of OR to evaluate the situation. 

There were only three stragglers, each of them wearing a uniform. BJ recognized two of them to be nurses, and Mulcahy recognized one as a lieutenant; it was one of the few red-heads in the camp.  They were hissing and groaning, feasting on several of the remains that had yet to be burned. 

“We’ve got to be quiet. One at a time. Two distract, two …. “ Potter nudged his own weapon in a slight upward swing. BJ and Hawkeye nodded, splitting away slightly from Potter and Mulcahy. Hawkeye raised the baseball bat, BJ raised his sharpened cane, in preparation to stab. Mulcahy and Potter both made noise, banging slightly on the closest metal surface, poised to run. 

The moment the noise broke through the stillness, the creatures’ heads swiveled, and their mangled bodies tensed. Two ran after Mulcahy, who pushed Potter out of the way and shouted. BJ and Hawkeye moved as one, Hawkeye hitting a home run while BJ stabbed with gusto, grunting softly as Hawkeye moved, leaping after Mulcahy, BJ and Potter bringing up the rear. Stopping all of a sudden, Mulcahy crouched, allowing for Hawkeye to swing the bat once again, Potter swinging a rope over his head and lassoing the other creature, tugging the rope sharply as he moved the rope around a pole, halting the creature in its tracks. 

“Get it, Ben.” Mulcahy said breathlessly, moving up from his crouch after Hawkeye swung the bat yet again, the creature lunging after him. BJ lunged, meeting the zombie halfway leading with the cane, end shoving through the eye socket. 

The remaining creature snarled, trying to lunge after Potter, who held the rope taut. Mulcahy continued to pant, his hands on his knees as Hawkeye and BJ bludgeoned and skewered the creature’s head in near tandem. 

“What were you thinking?!” Hawkeye hissed, turning into Mulcahy, his red bathrobe flying, his hands moving out to inspect Mulcahy, checking for anything that could have caught the illness. Hawkeye’s motions were stopped by the sound of Potter’s quiet voice, distracting Hawkeye and Mulcahy moved, taking advantage of the pause.

“Thank you, boys.” Potter interrupted,, his arms collapsing to his sides as the creature fell. Mulcahy tiptoed softly over to move the rope, the men moving the bodies yet again to form another pile to burn later, it was about time for their guests to hopefully make an appearance. 

“Maybe they came here, attracted to the noise of people..” Mulcahy asked, thinking out loud in his soft voice as he walked warily down the hand-made path that led to the OR, following after Potter, BJ and Hawkeye flanking the colonel. 

“It’s possible. We don’t know how they’re traveling. Vehicles would make noise. I’m sure they’ve figured that out,and they’re traveling by foot.” Potter said with a sigh, eyeing Sophie walking around in her corral. “I’ll take Sophie, and the colt, check the entrance with Charles.” Potter said as he opened the doors to Post-Op and waved for Charles to come over, telling him the plan. Charles nodded and followed Potter, allowing the others to rest and take over for Margaret and Kelleye. 

“That was quite an adventure, I’m hoping you’re prepared.” Potter panted as he leaned back on Sophie, waiting at the entrance as Charles leaned against a Jeep. The two had been waiting for a few long moments, unnerved by the lack of people. The only sound that filled the air was the buzzing of insects, attracted by the death and destruction. 

“I think I see something.” Charles said, leaning forward and squinting down the path to where it curved just past Rosie’s. Sidney could be seen, walking slowly with boots wrapped in cloth. Two people followed him, two men dressed in uniform. One was heavy-set with a brown beard, the other was clean-shaven but with a head full of black hair, thicker and darker than Hawkeye’s. The clean shaven man looked to be quite young, as young as a draftee right out of school. 

Sidney held up a hand, indicating that they would be there momentarily. Potter raised one back, as did Charles, recognizing some of the features on the dark-haired man to be of his young cousin John. He didn’t think Cousin John was quite that young, but perhaps he had been mistaken. 

When the men met up, introductions were made. SIdney introduced John Winchester and Bobby Singer. John was a man of letters, Bobby his companion and fellow hunter. Wasting no time, the men slunk over slowly to Pre-Op and Sidney let the men introduce themselves and explain the situation after everyone was able to settle down. 

“There was a bad situation, A general made a deal with.. Someone, and the deal was broken by the General. As a result, this sickness spread, from HQ all the way down to the 8063, and the 4077. Now, since it is only confined to several cities, it’s explained away as a virus, but … we’ve got to do some things, and I think Father Mulcahy can be of use.” John Winchester said with a nod. “Thanks to Cousin Charles, we did find the source of the outbreak. Do you remember treating a General Broadstreet?”

“That guy who just kept sending his men to die over that damn hill?” Hawkeye hissed in anger, leaning forward owlishly, Mulcahy nudging him quietly on one side, BJ the other. Charles let out a hum of disgust. “THAT is what he sold his soul for?”

“Not just his soul. Everyone’s.” Bobby said with a frown, turning to glance over at Mulcahy. “This is where you come in.”

“Me?” Mulcahy asked, flabbergasted, his eyes wide. “How can I help? I’ll do it.” he said without hesitation, stepping forward. 

“You’re the one who punched out Broadstreet?”

“Yes.” Mulcahy stated directly with an undertone of slight uncertainty, his eyes skidding over to Potter, who frowned and nodded. 

“Do you still have that handkerchief? With his blood?”

“Um… it’s in my tent, I believe. I still haven’t had time to wash it.” Mulcahy said with a quizzical voice. “Did you need the- the blood?”

“Yes, and we need you to bless every drop of liquid in here that you possibly can.” John said with a nod. “Broadstreet is dead, but this is the last we have, he didn’t have children, a wife, nothing.”

“He was a bastard, that one.” Potter said with a grunt, tilting his chin upwards stubbornly, everyone staring at Potter in mild shock, not expecting Potter to say such strong words. Especially about someone of his generation, or even a colleague. “Somehow this doesn’t surprise me.” Potter leaned forward, eyes moving from the two men to Sidney. “Are we crazy, Doctor?”

“You all are just as sane as I am. We’re just in a crazy world right now.” Sidney said bluntly, his heavy-lidded eyes blinking slowly at Potter, his sinewy body dropping to the nearest cot. “We really need to do this, as soon as possible. If you’ll loan us your priest. He’s probably the last chaplain left standing.”

“Oh dear.” Mulcahy said timidly, taking a breath and nodding. “I’ll go get it, and - you’ll do what you need to do.” Mulcahy ran a hand through his sandy hair, standing unkempt from his run as bait, turning immediately on his heel and walking towards the doors that led outside. Hawkeye blinked and ambled after Mulcahy, grabbing the bloodied and battered baseball bat on the way. He wouldn’t let Mulcahy go out there alone. Not after what he had pulled with Potter. “You don’t have to come, you know. I’m fine.” Mulcahy whispered, his breathless tones barely reaching Hawkeye’s ear. 

“I had to.” Hawkeye said simply, not wanting to let Mulcahy out of his sight, he wasn’t sure what he would do without Mulcahy, he kept everyone sane. His innate goodness was just too good for this world. For himself, Hawkeye thought briefly, not wanting to think too deeply in the middle of the apocalypse. The two men slowly approached the chaplain’s tent and waited for a long moment, hoping nothing had made its way into the tent. 

“I think I put it into my desk, or my laundry- I’m not sure. I was furious and not clear-minded.” Mulcahy murmured, slowly opening the door and peeking inside, allowing Hawkeye to nudge past. The two men searched the tent, Mulcahy making a small noise of delight, finding the handkerchief and a tooth in a drawer that housed a notepad and several small bibles. 

“A tooth?”

“I don’t know, I just picked it up.” Mulcahy said with a shrug, not understanding the impulse. Hawkeye shrugged, wrapping it up in the blood-stained handkerchief with a manic grin and breathless chuckle. The two men walked slowly, making sure that no noise came from any rustling of the cloth. 

“A tooth?” Bobby asked skeptically, his eyes raising from the tooth to the priest. 

“I don’t know, it must have come out, I picked it up.” Mulcahy said airily, shrugging as he leaned forward, peering over Hawkeye's shoulder at the small bowl that Bobby had set up, and the book John was reading from. 

“So this voodoo will bring everything to an end?”

“Hopefully, yes.” Bobby said succinctly as Sidney, Charles and BJ tended to the patients, giving Kelleye and Houlihan a rest. It was several hours later, reaching dusk when John finally nodded and rose from behind the desk that he and Bobby had been bent over, tinkering with the bowl, book and various flasks. 

“We need Father, if you’ll put on your collar?”

“Do I need anything else?”

“No, just the collar- it’s your authority. Crucifix would work too, but the collar could be harder to remove.”

“Oh.” Mulcahy said with mild surprise as he affixed his collar, eyes moving to Hawkeye, glasses glinting in the soft lamplight. His heart was pounding, as he picked up his crucifix, making the sign of the cross and started walking through the Post-Op room. 

“What do I need to bless?”

“Everything you can, I think sources of water would be easiest. Do you have a well? Common sources… ?” Potter nodded, explaining the camp layout and details. It was then decided that Mulcahy would be accompanied by Bobby, John would stay with Sidney in each room, after Mulcahy completed to make sure every room was cleared and blessed properly. 

“Use this, if you can.” John said with a nod, handing Mulcahy a small braid of what resembled sage, covered with a paste. “It will negate everything.” John’s handsome boyish face was pale, his eyes moving to Bobby’s for a moment before Bobby nodded in agreement. 

“So one shaman for another, basically?” Mulcahy asked, raising the braid. “It’s like two opposites, mirrors of one another. As above, so below.” Mulcahy said with a lilt of understanding, his eyes blown wide. 

“Don’t say it out loud, Father, but yes to  what you are thinking.” John whispered, leaning into Father Mulcahy. Hawkeye could see the shudder that ran through Mulcahy, his blue eyes locking onto Hawkeye’s. For a beat, the two men locked eyes and didn’t blink. Hawkeye could see the fear in Mulcahy’s eyes, flashing only for a moment, followed by a cold calm that he had never seen before. 

“Benjamin.” Mulcahy said after a moment, hovering at the doorway that led to outside of Pre-Op, Bobby at his side. Hawkeye nodded, knowing what Mulcahy was saying to him at that moment. 

Goodbye. 

Hours passed, Hawkeye pacing the room softly and keeping busy with patients and playing cards with BJ, occasionally running a hand along the baseball bat and needling Charles. BJ constantly blinked away tears, his hands running along a photo of Peg and Erin he had put in his jacket pocket, ‘just in case’. 

“Pierce. The Padre will be alright.” Potter said softly as he paused from reading his Zane Grey. “You know he will be. He’s a good lad.”

“Too good for the world.” Hawkeye said with a quiet scuffle of his boot as he flung his body softly down on the cot, Sidney moving to Hawkeye, cutting off any rants. It wasn’t the time to do that, Sindney rebuked Hawkeye with a hard gaze, yet soft with understanding. 

Hawkeye went back to needling Charles, and bantering softly with Margaret, until a soft noise could be heard at the entrance to Klinger’s office. 

“It’s done, I think.” Bobby said as he slunk back into Post-Op. “We took care of everything we could think of. We just gotta have something to test it out.” The not-sage was burned to a crisp, a faint smoke was wafting from Mulcahy’s jacket pocket. 

“What do we need to do?” Potter asked warily. 

“Leave it to us, you’ve done enough.” John said as he gathered up his things and put it in a small black bag that seemed to emerge from thin air. “Sidney.. Thank you for your help. You’re a true gentleman of letters.”

“No, thank you. I’m glad you came.” Sidney said with a slow nod, a finger tapping his nose in silent understanding. Something had passed between the visitors and Sidney, but it was lost to any understanding. 

“Good day, gentlemen, and wait for our all-clear. We’ll go check the 8063, we’ll take some of these blessings with us.” Bobby said with a nod, picking up a crate filled with bottles. “Thank you, Father Mulcahy. For everything.” 

“Anything to help, gentlemen.” Mulcahy said faintly, a small smile dancing on his lips and a spark of mystery in his eye. Bobby and John disappeared out in the near-darkness, leaving the survivors of the 4077 to wonder, and to wait for another arduous and silent night, until the phone rang in the morning. 

“Klinger here.” Klinger whispered, now used to picking up the phone the moment it vibrated, before any sound could leave the handset. Klinger handed the phone to Colonel Potter, who just let the handset rest on the desk, letting everyone hear the conversation. 

“It is done. It is back to normal. Go back to your lives.” Bobby’s voice said with a note of happiness. “Y’all are gonna get a call from HQ. It’s like a reset. Y’all can go back to .. well, normal.”

Potter exhaled and nodded. 

“Thank you for your service, gentlemen.”  Mulcahy and Hawkeye shared a glance. Bobby was wrong, things would not be back to normal- at least, not where Mulcahy was concerned. But that was okay, it was a reset. A reset of some possibilities to come.