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whatbecomesofthebrokenheartedfic · 1 year

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What Becomes of the Brokenhearted

Fandom: Fallout 4

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Female Sole Survivor/Nick Valentine, Sole Survivor & Piper Wright, Nick Valentine & Piper Wright

Additional tags: friends to lovers, slow burn, found family, canon divergence

Summary: Nora wakes up two hundred years in the future after losing her husband, her family, her whole world. In Diamond City, she thinks she may have found the one man in the wasteland who can help save her son, the only part of her life before the war she has left.

TW: discussion and representation of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. Eventual gore and body horror. Eventual smut.

00. Blue Prelude [1/2]

[> Next] [read on AO3]

Once they were back inside Diamond City Security’s patrol perimeter, Nick pulled his matchbook and cigarette pack from his pocket. They could afford to be a little distracted now that they were relatively safe—and he’d been anticipating that for the last three days, ever since he’d smoked the pack down to the last cig.

“You mind?” he asked with a sidelong glance at Piper, tucking the filter between his lips. She never did, but he always asked anyway.

She waved his words away as he struck a match against the palm of his right hand and cupped the delicate little flame at the end against the cold, humid breeze that whistled down Lansdowne Street. It was looking like rain, and had been since the two of them had crawled out of a manhole on the other side of the Commons an hour ago. Hopefully the weather’d have the decency to let them get back inside the city before dumping something acidic or radioactive on their heads, but Nick wasn’t willing to bet on it.

Piper cocked her head at him as he returned the matchbook and now-empty pack to his pocket. “You’re not gonna share, huh?”

“Not while you’ve got lungs to ruin,” Nick replied.

She scoffed halfheartedly at him. “I should have left you locked up in that office.”

Nick chuckled. God, but it was good to be headed home. “Anything new around here since I’ve been gone?” Nick asked, waving to the guard with his free hand as they rounded the corner onto Brookline and came within sight of the next security checkpoint. Unless the guard at the post was brand new, Nick would be recognized—he was hard to mistake for anybody else, even at a distance. Sometimes, like now, it wasn’t a bad thing—couldn’t complain about not being taken for a raider and shot at.

Piper was easily recognizable too, for that matter, in her bright red coat. Heh. Diamond City’s own dynamic duo of fashion disasters.

Piper’s response to his question was just a hair too slow, and he caught the edge of a grimace as he looked at her again. She made a noncommittal noise, which in Piper-speak translated to a “Yes, but I’m not going to talk about it right now,” maybe with a side order of “Yes, and you’re not going to like it.”

Well, damn. A guy gets locked in an office for two weeks and the world has the nerve to go on without him. Piper did that thing with her hands where she twisted the fingers of one in the palm of the other and then switched. That side order might actually be a full entrée. Whatever it was, it had her in knots. Silence from Piper was just as loud as anything she shouted at the mayor about.

“Alright, hold up,” the checkpoint guard said as they approached the blockade, holding up a hand, and then— “Wait a second. Nicky Valentine?”

“The one and only,” Nick said without a hint of irony.

“Damn,” the guard said, drawing the word out like he was genuinely a little surprised. Nick didn’t know his name; maybe if he saw the man’s face, but the umpire helmet obscured any distinguishing features except for his voice, which Nick didn’t recognize. “Word around town was you were dead. Or, uh—you know, whatever.”

A fair portion of his good mood curled up and died right there on the cracked pavement. Yeah, whatever, because things that aren’t really alive can’t really die now, can they? Nick sighed—or rather, he made a noise that sounded like a sigh even though he didn’t have lungs, or functioning vocal cords, and in the end what the hell difference did it make?

Really was no place like Diamond City.

“Not yet,” Nick replied, smiling thinly.

“Are we good to go, then?” Piper cocked her hip, and her head, and an eyebrow to boot, and Nick’s smile twitched towards genuine. Never missed a change in tone, that one.

The guard stared at her for a heartbeat, and then turned deliberately back towards the corner they’d just come around, every bit a dismissal as his next words. “Yeah, go on.”

“Much obliged,” Nick said, touching the brim of his hat. “Stay safe out here.”

He didn’t get a response, and Piper wasted no time rolling her eyes and stalking around the barricade. Nick had to jog three strides to catch up with her, and he kept his mouth shut as she sighed through gritted teeth, as the guard’s radio crackled with static, and Boston’s old metal bones groaned around them.

As they turned onto Jersey, Nick cast another look at Piper out of the corner of his eye. Her lips were pursed, her brow furrowed. “Not the warmest welcome I’ve ever had,” he said lightly.

Piper blew out another sigh, tired instead of irritated this time, and the hard line of her shoulders eased just a bit. “Well, that’s whatcha get for hanging around with Diamond City’s own social pariah.”

“Couldn’t ask for better company,” Nick said with feeling.

She cringed, freckled nose wrinkling. Not ready yet, then. That was alright. They’d have time now that he wasn’t stuck going stir crazy in the vault Overseer’s office. No need to push the issue.

Nick flicked ash from the end of his cigarette. “How’s Ellie been holding up?”

“About as well as you’d expect,” Piper said. “Last time I saw her she was holding one of your ties and crying into a photo album.”

Now there was a heartbreaking mental image. He’d have to find a way to make it up to her. Again. “Poor gal. Not gonna let me leave town again for a month, is she?”

“I’m not either,” Piper said. “In fact—”

A single loud clang of metal—distinct from the ever-present, bassline groan of skyscrapers, and instantly recognizable to any resident of Diamond City—sent a flock of large black birds erupting from the top of the Wall and wheeling across the cloud-bruised sky. The sound was followed by the rapid click-click-click of a chain unwinding.

Shit. Nick looked at Piper, snuffed the cigarette in the palm of his right hand, and tucked the butt in his pocket.

“That’s the gate,” Piper said as he drew his revolver. “It’s not even—oh, hell.”

Nick bolted toward the Wall, Piper at his heels, and jumped and then ducked below the low barricade that ran along the sidewalk parallel to it. Piper swore quietly from behind him and leather scraped as her coat caught on something, but then she was right there beside him, her own pistol in hand and her shoulder pressed up against his.

“Jeez, could you not sprint straight toward danger?” She elbowed him, but not hard. “This is exactly the sort of thing that got you whacked unconscious by a crazy broad with a baseball bat,” she hissed.

“See anything?” he asked, checking the way they’d been walking, but the street was just as empty as it had been a moment ago. He craned his neck to see past Piper, who was looking down her sights the way they’d come, but there was no sign of anything out of the ordinary there, either.

“Nothing,” she said.

A deep boom echoed through the streets as the city gate finished its descent. A dog barked from somewhere in the direction of the courtyard. The wind sighed softly, Piper panted beside him, and his coolant pump thumped in his chest.

But, other than that, nothing. No gunfire, no shouting. What the hell?

Piper was peering at him, brow scrunched in the same way his was. Nick gestured for her to follow and crouch-walked his way further south along the barrier, towards the security checkpoint that spanned the last few feet of Jersey before the courtyard.

Nick recognized the broad build of the guard standing—standing, casually, like there was nothing wrong—atop the barricade, and he frowned.

“Hey, Hank!” he called, waving and leaning around the end of the barrier. The guard jumped at the sudden sound. “Where’s the trouble?”

Hank hesitated for just a second, evidently processing—Nick Valentine, we thought you were dead, or whatever—and then lowered his half-raised rifle, shoulders relaxing marginally along with it.

“You can put the piece away, Nicky,” Hank said, nodding toward the two of them. “The trouble’s standing right next to you.”

Confusion wrinkled Piper’s nose, followed up almost immediately by fury. She stood straight up out of cover, one fist balled at her side and the other squeezed around her pistol’s grip.

“That rat bastard,” she ground out.

“Pipes—” Nick stood, reaching out to take her arm, but she was already shoving her pistol back in its holster and stepping past him.

“I’ve had it this time, Nicky!” she snapped, taking long strides that turned into a run as she passed under the checkpoint. Nick hurried to follow her.

The courtyard looked the way it always did on an average day in Diamond City, except for the gate being down before it got too dark to see, and the edge of anticipation in the air. Wagons and pack brahmin ringed the weathered old statue in the center of the open space, and caravanners shifted nervously around them, weapons at the ready. There was Cricket, with her distinct yellow headscarf and pink eyeshadow Nick could see even from here, one of the Vault 81 runners, a handful of dogs, and even one of those ghoul horses from out west past the Glowing Sea.

Piper ignored it all, striding straight up to the intercom and slapping the call button with more force than was strictly necessary. “Danny Sullivan, you open this gate right now!”

Danny’s voice, crackling over the speaker, was strained. “I got orders not to let you in, Ms Piper.”

“Oh, screw your orders!”

“Mayor McDonough’s really steamed this time. I’m sorry; I’m just doing my job.”

“Just doing your job?” Piper laughed, high and shaky.

The mayor, huh? No doubt the rat bastard in question, and no wonder Piper was so upset. She’d been pressuring McDonough about security’s refusal to investigate missing persons for nearly a year now, and—

Oh god. Hopefully things hadn’t come to a head since he’d been missing, though that would be one hell of a coincidence—

“Protecting Diamond City means keeping me out, is that it?” Nick leaned back to dodge one of the hands she waved for emphasis. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of the crowd that had been milling around the courtyard beginning to coalesce into a half-circle a few feet behind where he and Piper stood, no doubt drawn by her volume.

“Oh, look, it’s the scary reporter! Boo!”

“Piper,” Nick said lowly.

“Ms Wright,” Hank said from her other side. He’d come down the checkpoint steps by the intercom, and moved to put a hand on Piper’s shoulder, but she swatted it away.

“I live here! You can’t just—” She curled her hands, like she had them on Danny’s shoulders and she was shaking him. “—lock me out!”

Nick stepped forward, up beside her, and leaned into the intercom. “Hey there, Danny,” he said. “What seems to be the trouble?”

“Is that Detective Valentine? Jeez, what happened to you? It’s been weeks.”

“Ran into some trouble on a case outside of Goodneighbor,” Nick replied. Though it was more like trouble ran into him, multiple times, at high velocity, and was made from hickory. Darla would’ve made Moe Cronin proud with that swing of hers. “Piper here pulled me out of it. Woulda been scrap metal without her help. You mind filling me in on what’s going on?”

“She didn’t tell you?”

Piper hissed a sigh through clenched teeth and met Nick’s eyes, shaking her head subtly. Whatever it was, they could talk about it later. Right now they needed to convince Danny to open the gate.

“Well, we’ve been a little occupied trying to get back to the city in one piece,” Nick said neutrally. “So we haven’t had too much time to chat about any new goings on.” He found an angle and went with it: “But it sure looks like things have been busy around here. Lotsa caravans parked out front today. Simon handing out free chems in there, or what?”

“We’re all just standing out here in the open,” Piper snapped, picking up on it immediately. “Not really a great way to bring in business! Do you want to be the one explaining to Crazy Myrna why she’s missing out on all this stock?”

From behind them, there was a chorus of murmured agreement from the caravanners. For once it sounded like the two of them might be on the side of the popular opinion.

Danny exhaled a drawn-out, staticky sigh. “Okay, listen, the whole city’s—”

Piper wasn’t having it. She leaned closer to the speaker, voice dropping in pitch and trembling with pent-up emotion. “This is wrong and you know it, Danny!”

“Jeez, alright!” There was a beat of silence on the other end of the speaker. “Alright. No need to make it personal. Give me a minute.”

Some mechanism powered up within the Wall, and the winding chain began clicking again. The crowd that had gathered behind them began to shuffle back to life.

Piper’s hands trembled the same way her voice did. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes damp with angry tears. “Thank you.”

Hank started to lift his hand like he was going to put it on Piper’s shoulder, and then thought better of it. “Ms Wright, listen—”

Piper pointed a finger in his face. “Fuck off.”

Hank held his hands up in surrender, grumbling under his breath as he turned and headed back to his post on top of the barricade. Piper closed her eyes, clasped her hands behind her head, and blew out a long breath.

Crisis averted—for now. The matter of what new beef was going on between Pipes and the mayor would be something he’d have to dig into, but it could wait until after they’d gotten settled. He owed Ellie—well, he owed Ellie a lot, but after the last two weeks he owed her more than usual. If cases hadn’t been piling up in his absence, maybe the three of them and Nat could take the day to do something relaxing.

Piper let her hands fall back to her side, and Nick reached out to touch her arm briefly. She managed a small smile. Whatever had gone down while he was away was clearly bad—but nothing they couldn’t handle together. Hopefully.

Something cold and damp touched the seam on the outside of his left hand and Nick nearly jumped out of what skin he had left.

He looked down to see a German Shepherd staring up at him with big brown eyes. Its tail wagged, its tongue lolled, and it shifted from paw to paw in doggy excitement.

“Dogmeat,” Nick said, kneeling to scratch behind his ears. Dogmeat woofed in recognition of his name. “Well hey there, fella. Where’d you come from?”

“He’s with me,” a contralto voice said from somewhere over Dogmeat’s head, and Nick looked up to see dirty leather hiking boots and long legs clad in Vault-Tec blue standing about six feet away—it was the runner he’d noticed when he and Piper came into the courtyard.

Yeah, definitely a runner, if the muscular curves of her calves and thighs were any indication. He didn’t let his gaze linger, pulling it up past her charcoal winter coat and dirty fur collar to her coppery, angular face, framed by glossy black fringe. She was looking him over warily, dark eyes narrowed, one hand resting on the barrel of a laser rifle slung on her back, ready to pull it into position. He didn’t take it personally; the folks in 81—at least the ones he knew—were nice enough, but their surface workers tended to be jumpy.

Except now that he was paying attention to her, he could see the number on her collar wasn’t an 81, but a 111.

Huh.

Alright. He knew 81—everyone around here did; it was hard not to know the people supplying you with clean water and real coffee—and he’d had too much time to get familiar with the Overseer’s office of 114. There was a 95 down past Suffolk this side of the Glowing Sea, a 75 in Malden, and that business down in the other DC involved some kid from 101. Maybe 111 was outside of the Commonwealth and that’s why he’d never heard of it, or maybe it just opened up to the surface. 81 had only opened up, what, a decade ago now?

The woman inclined her head at Dogmeat, keeping her gaze just shy of Nick’s. “Do you two know each other?” Her voice was something out of an old pre-War movie, lacking the accent that had two centuries to evolve after the bombs fell. Her teeth were white and almost perfectly straight—not wasteland dental work, for sure. Were freckles normal for a vaultie? He was no expert on human biology, but didn’t you get those from the sun, or could they be genetic?

“Sure, we’ve worked together a time or two,” Nick said, looking back at Dogmeat so he didn’t have to look at her anymore. This was going to be something—he could feel it churning away in his nonexistent gut already. He glanced down at her hands; the right still squeezing the barrel of her rifle, and the left hooked deceptively calmly in her coat pocket. Her short nails were painted with chipped green polish and she had an honest-to-god gold wedding band on her left ring finger.

Hand-me-down, maybe? Who did that anymore?

“I see,” she said, like that was the answer she expected and not a completely absurd exchange. She drummed her fingers on the barrel of the rifle, and then squared her feet like she’d come to a decision. Nick scratched under Dogmeat’s chin, and leaned back as Dogmeat lunged to lick his face.

Then, before he could formulate a reply for her:

“You’re Nick Valentine, yes? The detective?”

Nick paused before looking back up, but she still flinched at the motion—because he was a synth, because she didn’t know him, because this was the surface and he could imagine how frightening that would be to a vault dweller, some combination of the three?

“That’s right,” he said lightly.

She looked at Piper. “And you’re…?”

“Piper Wright, Publick Occurrences,” Piper replied, every bit the professional reporter sniffing out a scoop. No doubt she’d noticed the vault number by now, too.

Recognition raised the woman’s eyebrows slightly. “You work for the newspaper.”

“I run the newspaper,” Piper corrected. “We’re the hard look at the truth. You got a story for me, Blue?”

The woman moved her mouth like she was going to say something, then closed it again and started over. “I—maybe. I’m sorry if this is a bad time,” she said quickly, and then took a steadying breath, and looked Nick right in the eyes. “But I need your help. I’m trying to find a missing person.”

Ah.

Nick gave Dogmeat one last scritch behind the ears, and then stood slowly. The woman didn’t flinch this time, but every tense line of her body said she wanted to step away from him, even though she didn’t follow through. Probably, she’d never seen a synth this close before—or maybe she had. Wasn’t like any other rust bucket wearing this face was the conversational sort. Anyway, he got it—she was a slight gal and he was pretty sure intimidatingly tall was part of the older models’ build specs. No offense taken.

“Well, you came to the right people,” Nick said gently. “If not the right place.” He inclined his head at the gate. “If you want to talk right now, we can head to my office.”

“So soon?” she asked, voice ticking up, brimming with carefully concealed desperation, and Nick’s heart broke for her.

“Sure,” he replied. “I’ve been away for a while so I’ll have to get settled, but that shouldn’t take long.” Ellie wouldn’t be happy, but she knew him. “We’re headed there now. You can walk with us if you like.”

Tears welled in her eyes, but didn’t fall, and her neutral expression didn’t shift. “Thank you,” she said breathlessly.

Nick gave her a brief smile. “Bit early for that, but the pleasure’s mine,” he said.

“You mind if I tag along?” Piper asked. “I’ve been reporting on disappearances across the Commonwealth. Unfortunately, yours is far from the only one.”

“Piper’ll be able to help you just as much as I can,” Nick said. “For a case like yours, we typically work together.”

“Yes, that’s fine,” the woman said. She shifted from one foot to the other, and her fingers flexed as she squeezed the rifle barrel. “I… I’m a little out of my depth, here. I’d appreciate any help you’re willing to give.”

Nick nodded. “We’ll do what we can, Missus…?”

Her expression did change, then—she blinked back her tears and pressed her lips into a thin line. His mistake—missing person, wedding ring—

“It’s Nora,” she said, voice rasping. She cleared her throat. “Just… Nora.”

A picture he didn’t care for but that was far too common out here started to form in his head. Nick nodded once. “Alright, Nora. I can’t promise anything, but we’ll have you break down the whole story and then see what we can do, alright?”

She nodded, unwilling or unable to speak.

Nick stepped toward the gate, and Piper moved to fall into step beside him. “Office is on the other side of town, so it’s a bit of a walk,” he said over his shoulder. “Ever been to Diamond City before?”

Nora hesitated fractionally before answering. “Not—no. No, I haven’t.”

Huh. The missus thing, he could infer a lot from, but it was weird that that one tripped her up—maybe that was how she knew who he was. She hadn’t been a client in the past, had she? No, he’d remember a woman that looked like her. And he’d definitely remember the unusual vault number.

Piper caught his eye. One-eleven, she mouthed, and Nick tipped his head forward in a subtle nod.

“Piper!”

Nick stopped dead in his tracks just past the turnstiles as McDonough, flanked by a pair of guards that trailed reluctantly behind him, stalked down the stairs that led into the city proper. His face was red, mouth twisted into a furious snarl under his moustache. In one hand, he clutched a bundle of papers hard enough to crumple them.

Piper squared her shoulders and gritted her teeth. “Time for round two,” she muttered.

“Pipes…” Nick said pleadingly. A second round of whatever pissed the mayor off badly enough that Piper didn’t even want to talk about it might get them 86’d—permanently.

McDonough shook the handful of papers at her as he moved closer. “Who let you back inside? You devious, rabble-rousing—”

“Oh, we’re gonna start with the name calling today, huh?”

“—slanderer!”

Nick glanced over his shoulder at Nora, who was frowning and leaning to see around him at what all the commotion was. He held his bad hand by his side and lifted one finger—one second—and pretended not to notice the way she stared at it.

“The level of dishonesty in that paper of yours! I’ll have that printer scrapped for parts!”

“Ooh, is that a statement, McDonough?” Piper spread her hands wide. “What a headline! ‘Tyrant mayor shuts down the press!’ How about this one? ‘Tyrant mayor throws free speech in the dumpster!’”

“Enough!”

“Oh, you’ve had enough?” Piper leaned in. “What about the people of Diamond City? Do you think they haven’t had enough? How long are you going to let the disappearances of your citizens go uninvestigated?”

“I have already told you—”

“That security doesn’t have the time to help?” Piper cut in. “That’s a load of crap, McDonough, and you know it. I want the truth. What’s the real reason security never investigates any kidnappings?”

Behind him, Nick sensed Nora shift closer.

“Isn’t it because you order them not to?” Piper asked, in a tone that said she didn’t need an answer. “Got a justification for that one? I’d love a quote.”

“Enough!” McDonough bellowed. “I told Sullivan to keep that gate shut because I’ve had enough of your disgusting conduct! From now on, consider you and that little sister of yours on notice. This is your final warning.”

“You have no right—” Piper started, just as Nick said “Now hold on—”

McDonough whirled on him, every ounce of vitriol redirecting in a split second, and stuck a finger in Nick’s face.

“And you, Mister Valentine, can consider yourself under the same warning. Longtime resident or not, condoning this blatant scaremongering will not be tolerated.” His eyes narrowed and he wagged his finger like he was scolding a child and not a synth a foot taller than him and nearly twice his age. “You are here only due to the goodwill of the people of Diamond City, and I can assure you that allying yourself with this muckraker is rapidly wearing that thin.”

Piper somehow bulled up even more and took a deep breath, no doubt about to lay into the mayor again, but Nick caught her wrist and held it there, and met her eye with a significant look when she turned to tell him off, too.

Let McDonough win this round. They sure as hell couldn’t—the best they could get was this, right here: getting to walk away without being tossed without any time to tell Nat or Ellie what was happening.

McDonough stood there for a second, looking between the two of them, face flushed, and then turned on his heel and stalked toward the ticket booth, guards slouching along behind him. No doubt poor Danny Sullivan was about to be on the receiving end of a similar tirade.

“Oh, god,” Piper said through gritted teeth. “Natalie.”

She bolted forward, footfalls echoing sharply as she dodged around a trader and out of sight up the stairs.

Nick sighed as the mayor lit into Danny, as the hubbub of traders going about their business picked up again in the courtyard, as the city moved on around him. He caught Nora’s eye over his shoulder, and she subtly raised one brow at him.

“We better get going,” he said, moving toward the stairs.

“Do I need to check in with the gate guard?”

“Think he’s gonna be tied up for a bit.”

“I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

Well, he did appreciate that. “Ah, we’re already in it.” He waved a hand—the good one this time, and stuffed the bad one in his pocket with his forgotten cigarette. “I’ll let ’em know you’re a client later. They don’t usually ask too many questions about that.”

“Alright.”

As they passed through the interior gate, he carefully didn’t see the sign hanging on the chain link fence beside it: HUMANS ONLY—NO MUTANTS, NO GHOULS, NO SYNTHS. But he wasn’t a synth, he was the synth, Diamond City’s own local curiosity, only here because of the goodwill of a man thirty years dead and his own obvious nonhuman nature. Nick was the one synth that couldn’t pretend to be anything but.

Nora would almost certainly notice it too, and she’d have questions. They always did. With any luck she’d save them until after he’d gotten the opportunity to ask his own and the details of her missing person sorted out.

In the few minutes they’d been caught up just past the turnstiles with the mayor, a gentle rain had started to fall. Neon and stadium lights turned the city into a lightshow bright enough to rival the Glowing Sea’s corona of radiation. Merchant stalls ringing the infield still buzzed with activity, and would continue to do so for a few hours yet.

For all its flaws—and boy, it sure had them—it beat the hell out of anywhere else in the Commonwealth. Guilt and gratitude warred in the back of Nick’s mind, like they always did when he returned from a case and saw the city like this, and for once gratitude managed to win out. It definitely beat the inside of the overseer’s office.

Off to the left, halfway down the stairs, Piper was already standing over Nat on their front porch, saying something quietly. Nat wouldn’t be happy about being pulled away from hawking papers, which was almost certainly what Piper was doing.

Nick glanced back; Nora was looking out over the city with an expression he couldn’t quite pin down. If he had to describe it, pained would be a good synonym. Her lips were pursed just slightly, her brow quirked in some repressed emotion, her eyes narrowed critically. Dogmeat whined and pressed against her leg, looking up at her face, but she didn’t acknowledge him.

“Quite a sight, isn’t it?” he asked, and the corners of her mouth twitched downward slightly.

“Yes, it is,” she murmured.

Well. It might not be much compared to a vault, but it was still—for better or for worse—the safest place in the Commonwealth.

“If you don’t mind a detour, we’ll be picking up Piper’s sister from her office,” Nick said, pointing. “It’s just right down there.”

Nora stared for a heartbeat. “Yes, that’s alright.” She dragged her gaze away from the sisters to meet his eyes briefly before looking away again.

“Something to ask?”

Nora hesitated, and then—so unexpectedly he almost moved away—took a step toward him and lowered her voice. “Would the mayor really have them both kicked out of the city?”

Huh. “You know, before today, I woulda said probably not,” he replied honestly. “Not really something he has the authority to do anyway, but after that business out there, I wouldn’t put leaning on the city council past him.”

Nora frowned. “I see.”

“Nicky!”

Nick turned at the shout to see Nat glaring up at him from Piper’s porch. She stomped her foot, squared her shoulders, and planted her fists on her hips.

“Where have you been?”

“On a case, kid,” he called back. He motioned for Nora to join him as he sauntered down the stairs. “Where else?”

“You’re never out on a case that long,” she shot back.

“Well I was this time,” he said, and ruffled her hair with his good hand. “Sorry I worried ya.”

She swatted at him. “I wasn’t worried,” she said defensively.

“Sure, sure. You coming with us to the office?”

“Yes,” Piper said.

“Yeah, but I don’t know why,” Nat groused. “Are you guys gonna tell me what’s going on or not?”

“I already said later.” Piper squared her shoulders and looked at Nick, determined. Her earlier fury and worry looked to have cooled into calm now that she’d verified Nat was safe, but it was the sort of calm that carried an undertone of wariness. “Let’s get to it.”

“Alright then,” Nick said.

He led them the rest of the way down into the infield, and then made a sharp left at the base of the stairs, and then a right onto Third Street, unwilling to cut through the market this time of day. Going past the security building and school was typically faster, and he caught less stares from people who thought there shouldn’t be an exception to the no synths rule. And he was not in the mood to deal with Myrna screaming at him from across the square. Not today.

The Wright gals trailed a little way behind him; Nat still haranguing her sister to tell her what was going on and Piper staunchly refusing, and Nora followed behind them, looking around at everything like she was seeing it for the first time. Maybe she was. He’d find out eventually.

It was dark under the upper walkways, and only got darker as they hung another right onto Second Street. The only light on was the one bolted to the wall beside Arturo’s door, halfway down the road.

His sign was off. Ellie really did think he was dead, huh.

Boy. It looked like guilt might win out after all.

Nick picked up his pace, ducking under the corner of the tattered red awning that had come loose again and into the alcove that housed the door to his office.

“You coming, Blue?” Piper said. Nick glanced back; she stood under the edge of the awning looking back down the street.

Nora’s response was distant in more ways than one. “…Yes, I… yes.”

Well, he’d be hesitant to follow three complete strangers down a dark alley, too. Especially if he knew one of them was Natalie Wright.

Nick pushed the door open to find his office dark. “Ellie?” he called. “You here?”

There was a crash from up in the loft, a surprised “Nick?” and then bare footsteps hurrying down the stairs. Nick stepped fully into the office, and Piper and Nat followed him. Nora must have at least been under the awning by now, but he didn’t look back to check as Ellie burst around the corner, loose hair making a frizzy halo around her head.

“Oh my god, it’s you,” she said. Her eyes were wide and red and wet, and Nick’s heart broke for her exactly the way he knew it was going to.

“Hard to mistake this mug for anybody else,” he said, holding out his arms for her.

She threw her arms around his neck and he squeezed her tightly, lifting her to her tiptoes. She took a shuddering breath, and he rubbed her back up and down with his good hand, trying to soothe two weeks of hurt as best he could.

They stood there like that for a solid minute, Ellie breathing tremulously, Nick swaying her gently. He’d have gladly stood there all night if that woulda made her feel better, but…

Guilt was definitely winning this round.

“I got a client with me, Ellie,” he said lowly.

She sniffled against his shirt. “Of course you do.” She said it gently and he knew she’d understand, but he couldn’t pretend that one didn’t sting a little. She leaned back, wiping her eyes with the back of one hand and leaving the other on his shoulder. “Give me just a minute?”

“Take your time, sweetheart,” he said. She nodded, took a handful of calming breaths, and then gave him a one second gesture and stepped past the curtain into the other room.

Nick straightened, and glanced aside at Piper and Nat, standing quietly in the doorway, and beyond them under the awning, Nora, staring down at the ground.

He cleared his throat. “Ma’am—” her head jerked up at the sound of his voice, “—if you want to have a seat here at the desk, we’ll get started in a moment.”

He moved further into the office, switching the lights on and stepping around his desk. It looked like Ellie had been sitting here earlier—there were photographs of the two of them and the Wright gals spread across the desk, one of his ties, a handkerchief, all the detritus of someone crying over a loved one.

Over her employer. He wasn’t that good a boss. Poor gal probably needed a vacation now more than ever, and here he was opening up another case before he’d even had time to tell her he wasn’t dead. Or whatever.

Piper made a beeline to Ellie’s desk. “You guys mind if I borrow a notebook?” she asked, not bothering to get a response before opening one of the drawers. That was alright; she knew where they were for a reason. At least she brought her own pens.

Nat stared down Nora in the doorway for a second, and then darted past Piper—who thwacked her with a notebook—to sit on Ellie’s desk. “I’m not making us any money if I’m not selling papers, you know,” she said loudly.

Nick smiled to himself; there it was.

“We can afford to cool the engines for one afternoon, kiddo,” Piper said.

“That’s not what you were saying yesterday,” Nat countered. Piper stuck her tongue out at her.

Nick settled in his own chair, on the side of the desk opposite the door, and made his body relax, trying to appear as unintimidating and open as possible.

Nora stepped into the room and looked around warily, like she was expecting some sort of trap. Or maybe she was just curious. The tiny little office, with its cramped layout, and filing cabinets and boxes literally overflowing with case files, was no doubt a far cry from whatever facilities they had in a vault. How people living literally underground had more square footage than Nick and Ellie did, he’d never understood. Diamond City real estate went for a premium.

Every line of Nora’s body was tense as she sat at the literal edge of her seat so that big laser rifle had enough room between her back and the back of the chair. Dogmeat flopped down at her feet, tongue lolling, the only one in the room totally at ease.

“You want something to drink?” Nick asked her. “We got a couple different teas, purified water, maybe a soda or two?”

“Do you have coffee?” She sounded hopeful—like a vault dweller wishing for a comfort from home.

“We might have a few packs left. Pipes, we got any coffee over there?”

“Uh, you’ve got chicory tea,” she said, rifling through the little box of beverage components they kept on top of the minifridge by Ellie’s desk.

Nora actually smiled, very faintly. “Chicory tea sounds lovely.”

“One chicory tea comin’ up,” Piper said, and sauntered out of the room to fill the pitcher.

“I’d like a cola!” Nat called after her sister.

“Get it yourself!” Piper said from the next room.

“So, listen,” Nick said gently, without leaning forward. “I’m sure you’re eager to get started, but the way I like to handle these things is to take it a little slow during the interview. You’re gonna remember more details if you’re relaxed and have space to think, alright? So we’ll take it easy for a couple of minutes while you get comfortable and then we’ll get down to brass tacks.”

“I understand,” Nora said. “But I don’t have much to go on.”

“That’s alright too,” he reassured. “We’ll see what I can do with what you’ve got, alright?”

“Alright.”

Piper swept back in the room, followed by Ellie, who was a little red in the face still but otherwise put together. She’d done her hair up in a French twist; it was much less frizzy now.

“I’m sorry about that, honey,” she said to Nora. “It’s been a rough couple of weeks with Nick gone. I’m Ellie Perkins, detective’s secretary.”

“Nora,” Nora said. “Um. Client, I suppose.”

“Missing person, El,” Nick said softly.

Ellie mouthed oh. “I’m so sorry,” she said, full of feeling. “But you’re in the best place in the Commonwealth for it, now. Nick’s specialty is finding people. We’ll do whatever we can to help you, alright?”

Nora’s shoulders somehow tensed further at that. “Thank you,” she said stiffly.

She looked like a woman on the edge of a panic attack. Her back was straight, her heart was beating quickly and her breathing was shallow, her hands were balled into fists resting on her thighs.

He got it. The office was small, and the number of people trying to share its square footage was a little high right now. He didn’t care for crowds, either.

“You know, in a case like yours, the devil is in the details,” Nick said. “I’m gonna be asking you a lot of questions, so we may be here a while. You’re welcome to take your coat off and settle in.”

She sighed a little. “Right.”

Nick turned in his seat to give her some semblance of privacy, but kept her in his peripheral vision as he started clearing off the desk. Nora leaned forward and ducked out of the strap for the laser rifle, then held it in her lap for a moment, staring as if she didn’t know what to do with it. Very carefully, like it was a wild animal that might bite her if she moved too fast, she leaned it barrel-up against the wall beside the chair.

Unused to carrying a weapon, maybe, or unfamiliar with that particular kind.

“Where’s that photo box?” Nick asked, hands full of the photographs Ellie had spread across the desk.

“Here!” Nat said, and stretched forward to hand it to him. Her arms were too short to reach, and before he could scoot the chair back Ellie had the box in hand and was holding it out to him.

Nora winced as she leaned forward and pulled her arms from her coat. Was she injured? Surely her first stop in Diamond City would be to see the doctor if she was. But if she was desperate and had never been here before… Alright, that was one more thing for him to pay attention to.

“Thanks very much,” Nick said, dropping the pictures in. Ellie passed the box back to Nat.

Nora hung the coat neatly on the back of the chair, but didn’t lean back. Well, alright, he’d take a marginal settling over none at all. Sometimes people had a hard time relaxing. Far from the first time he’d seen it.

And then she swept a hand behind her head and pulled a long braid of hair over her shoulder. Had to reach her hips, at least. Then, at last, she sat back in the chair and folded her hands in her lap. Still not at ease, but doing better.

“Tea,” Piper said, leaning around Ellie to hold a steaming mug out to Nora.

“Thank you,” she said again, a little less stiff than last time, accepting the mug.

“I dunno how strong you take it, so it’s pretty potent,” Piper said. “I figure you can water I down if it’s too much. Or—Ellie, do we have—”

“Cream and sweetener?” Ellie asked.

“No, thank you,” Nora said. She gestured to Piper with the mug. “This is perfect, actually.”

“Couldn’t be me,” Piper said. “I like a sweet drink.” She grabbed a cola from the minifridge and rolled up her sleeve to twist the cap off with her forearm. Then she flicked the cap with her thumb and Nick caught it with his good hand.

“You’ll rot your teeth right outta your head drinking that crap,” he told her. He swiveled his chair and dropped the cap in the rainy-day fund mason jar they kept on the bookshelf behind the desk.

“Hey, I brush,” Piper said, and smiled at him.

“Detective,” Nora said quietly.

Well, alright, then, she was done waiting. Nick caught Piper’s eye and gave her a significant look, and Piper nodded and turned to her little sister.

“Hey, Nat,” Piper said. “Why don’t you go hang out in the loft for a bit, maybe get some schoolwork done?”

“Why?” Nat asked suspiciously, dragging out the word.

“Because we’re about to have a long conversation, and I don’t want you to get bored.”

Nat stared at her. “Bullshit.”

“Natalie, language!” Piper barked, and Ellie turned away so the two sisters couldn’t see her stifle a snort.

“I’m almost thirteen! That’s old enough to sit in on cases!”

“It’s really not,” Piper said.

“You were only sixteen when you started the newspaper!”

“So you’ve still got four years to go, kiddo.”

“Piper!” Nat said pleadingly, and turned to Nick. “I’m not a little kid anymore. I can handle this stuff if you guys would just let me.”

“Maybe next time, alright? Just not right now,” Nick said gently.

Nat scoffed and kicked her feet, and looked from Nick, to Ellie, to Nora, and finally back to her sister. Then she seemed to deflate.

“Fine, whatever. Can I at least sit out on the deck?”

“If you take the umbrella,” Piper said. “And come back inside if you see any angry politicians.”

Nat sighed loudly, but didn’t protest further as she slid off the desk and slouched out of the room, cola in hand and bag slung over her shoulder. She plucked her sister’s umbrella from her hand as she passed. There was a long moment of anticipatory stillness that stretched between the four of them that remained as her footsteps thumped up the stairs, across the loft above the desk, and as the door onto the deck opened and then closed again.

There was a beat of silence as Nora’s gaze traveled back to rest just shy of his. Waiting.

“Alright,” he said. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Her voice was flat. “Where would you like me to start?”

“Why not with who it is we’re looking for?”

Nora nodded, taking a deep breath. “My son. He’s four—” She closed her eyes, swallowed hard. “No. Five weeks old, now.”

Jesus. Wasn’t the first missing kid he’d been asked to track down, though this one was on the younger side for sure. Typically, in the aftermath of a breakup, one parent decided any kids would be better off with them rather than their former partner—but sometimes it was something else. Raider ransom, or worse. He got the feeling this case wasn’t going to be typical.

“His name is Shaun.” Nora’s voice broke over the name, but she didn’t stop. “He’s—he’s got his dad’s blue eyes, and my freckles, and black hair, and skin a little lighter than mine. He…” She held up a hand, lips quivering, trying not to cry.

“It’s okay, honey,” Ellie said, gentle as always. “You don’t have to say anything more.”

Nora nodded once, exhaled shakily. Nick pulled a clean handkerchief out of the desk drawer and held it out to her.

She hesitated a little, but still took it. “Thank you,” she said, sounding sincere.

Nick nodded, and gave her a second to dab at her eyes.

“Now, I know this might seem like an impertinent question,” Nick said after a moment. “But it’s important to get a complete picture of what we’re dealing with, here.”

“I understand,” Nora said again.

“Is your boy’s father still in the picture, or is it just you?”

The tears that welled in her eyes were answer enough, but she blinked them away, or tried to, and dabbed again at her face when they ran down her cheeks. It looked like his earlier prediction was spot-on, unfortunately. Nora was alone.

“It’s—just me,” she ground out. “The—the people who took Shaun, they—they killed him.”

She couldn’t hold the tears back, then. She pressed her fingers to her lips to stifle a sob, and then covered her eyes with her hand. Bent forward to rest her elbow on her knees, cradling her head. Tears rolled down her cheeks and dripped onto the bright blue fabric of her vault suit.

He shouldn’t feel envious of that, of crying. But he did.

Setting her notebook and pen down, Piper stepped forward, brow creased and lips downturned in concern, and reached out to lay a hand on Nora’s shoulder. “Hey, Blue…”

Nora nearly jumped out of the chair when Piper made contact, jerking away and sucking a breath through her teeth. Her eyes were wide, like a cornered animal.

Cringing, Piper yanked her hand back. “Sorry!”

“No, no—” Nora shook her head, holding her hands up placatingly. She was breathing hard. “I’m—I’m sorry, you just—you startled me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s—it’s fine.”

He understood Piper’s impulse. This was… difficult was too mild a word. This had never gotten easier to watch. This was a wound open and weeping along with her in the back of his own head. He wanted to reach across the desk and take her hand, to provide the anchor he would have liked himself, but that clearly wasn’t how she operated. That was fine.

“I’m so sorry,” Nick said softly. Nora nodded. It wasn’t enough. It was never enough. But it was damn near all he had to offer. Sometimes there was no comfort and you just had to go through the motions.

“Where were you when this happened?” he asked, after Nora’s breathing had steadied somewhat.

She closed her eyes and twisted the handkerchief in her lap. “I was there. I…” She looked from Nick, to Piper, to Ellie, and back again. “This is going to sound unbelievable,” she said.

“Don’t worry. We’ve handled some pretty strange cases before,” he reassured. “Just tell us what details you remember.”

“We were in a vault when it happened,” she said. “It—was an experiment, I guess. The vault, I mean. It was some sort of… cryogenic facility.” She huffed. “The—we thought when we went in we’d be put into apartments or barracks or something, but—”

What?

“—they put us in these pods instead, and the doctor said it was some kind of decontamination before we moved into the living quarters, but then—”

“Wait,” Piper cut in, beating Nick to it. “What do you mean when you went in?”

Nora looked at her blankly, and suddenly everything clicked into place—the wedding band, the perfect teeth, the accent. A vault that was actually cryo storage. The bottom dropped out of Nick’s world and time slid to a stop—except it didn’t, according to his chronometer; the moments kept ticking by like they always had. It was just some strange trick of perception that made the second and a half following Piper’s question seem to last a lifetime.

Funny thing, that. You go your whole life thinking there’s no one else that can relate to your specific situation and then, with no warning at all, someone does, and she walks straight into your office and tells you about it.

“When the bombs fell,” Nora said flatly.

“She’s pre-War, Pipes,” Nick said.

Nora’s dark eyes flicked over, actually met his, briefly. “That’s right,” she whispered. “I—I know it sounds—insane, or—”

“It doesn’t,” Nick reassured. “No, it doesn’t. In fact, folks being around from before the War is a lot more common than you might think. You met any ghouls yet?”

She mouthed ghouls like she was trying to remember what it meant. “No. I mean—not the ones that are people,” she clarified. “The… other ones, yes. I came across the river from Cambridge to get here. The guard said they were bad up there.”

Piper whistled lowly, and Nick nodded. “Ferals. Yeah, they’re pretty thick the other side of the Charles. The uh, ghouls that are people, though, they stop aging once they change, so there are a few of ’em that were around before the War.”

“Really?”

“That’s right,” “So, this vault you were in—one-eleven?”

“Yes.”

“Has it been opened to the surface before?” Just because he hadn’t heard of it didn’t mean other folks hadn’t.

“I don’t know.”

“Where’s it at?”

“The Concord suburbs,” she said. “Just north of the river. The Concord River, not the Charles. A place called Sanctuary Hills.”

“Concord’s quite a walk,” Nick said mildly. “You come all that way yourself?”

“I had Dogmeat,” she said. His ears perked up and his tail thumped against the ground at the sound of his name, and Nora absently stroked the top of his head. “And some other help besides.” Her jaw clenched. “It’s still taken a week to get here.”

“Hey, now, that’s no mean feat. The Commonwealth’s a dangerous place.”

“It used to be a thirty-minute drive.”

Nick blinked. “Alright, that’s fair. But still, don’t put yourself down.”

She ducked her head, pursing her lips tight. Bucking against it.

“Now, I know this will be painful,” he started, and she held very still, like a radstag in a spotlight. “But I’m gonna need you to share everything you can remember about that day. You take as much time as you need, alright? And just say so if you need a break.”

She nodded.

“So—you enter the vault, and what happened next?”

“We were told to get in line at the bottom of the elevator,” she said. “There were already workers in the vault, I suppose. They gave us these suits—” she gestured to herself, “—and told us to change. Dana was holding Shaun, so I changed first, and then held Shaun while Dana changed. That was the last time that I…”

She trailed off, staring into space, and tears rolled down her cheeks. No doubt she’d worked that one over in her head a dozen times by now. If he hadn’t taken the baby back, her husband would still be alive, but she might not be.

Nick took a stab at it. “You can’t blame yourself for something like that,” he said, gently as he could. “You had no way of knowing.”

“I’m his mother,” she snapped.

“And Dana was his father,” Nick countered. She clenched her jaw at that one. “Was there another reason you weren’t carrying him?”

Nora dried her face with Nick’s handkerchief, preparing herself. Off to his side, Ellie shifted her feet, and Piper’s pen scratched across her notebook.

“I had a c-section,” Nora said. She frowned slightly, eyes flicking across the three of them in turn. “Are…”

“Some doctors still do them,” Ellie said softly, and Nick nodded.

“Okay. I was told I couldn’t carry anything heavier than my baby for six weeks, but when the warning sirens started going off, we had to run, and so Dana—” She took another deep breath. “Dana insisted.”

“You’re still recovering, then?” Nick asked. That’d explain the wince when she took off her coat earlier.

Nora hesitated. “Yes.”

“Jeez, Blue,” Piper muttered.

How much did that rifle weigh, compared to an infant? Maybe it was comparable; maybe she just didn’t care, and getting here to get help finding her baby was more important to her than her own health. He’d be willing to bet on that, actually. Maybe he could convince her to talk to Doc Sun, just to make sure she was really healing alright.

“So you change, Dana takes the baby, and then what?”

“Like I said earlier. The doctor told us we were going to go through a decontamination procedure before being brought deeper into the vault. He had us climb in these pods, and then it felt like the air was being sucked out—I could hardly breathe, and…

“It felt like…” She stared past him, into the middle distance, and then closed her eyes. “It was like when you’ve fallen asleep, but don’t realize it, and come back to consciousness all at once. Except instead of it being suddenly daytime, it was dark and cold, and I thought I was dreaming…”

Two hundred years in the blink of an eye. Damn. “What made you realize you weren’t?” Nick asked.

She swallowed thickly. “I heard voices. One was a man’s; it was deep, and rough. I couldn’t tell if the other was a man or a woman—I didn’t hear them at first. It was only once the man said something else I realized he must be speaking to someone.”

“What were they talking about?”

“I couldn’t tell. It was muffled. I tried to clear away the frost on the pod window so I could see them, but it was so thick, and my breath kept fogging it up. Then—”

She choked up suddenly, and pressed her fingertips to her lips to stifle a sob.

“Then I heard a baby cry, and Dana’s voice. I don’t—I don’t know what he said, either. But he sounded panicked.” She shuddered. “I started trying to get the door open, but there was no latch on the inside that I could find, so I rubbed the glass with my sleeve to see what was happening.

“It was dark, but I could see there was a man holding something up at Dana? I didn’t realize at first what it was, because the other person was trying to take Shaun, and Dana wouldn’t let them have him, and then there was a sound like another bomb going off and—

“I think I screamed. And the man turned and walked towards me, and I thought he was going to—” She gaped for a moment. “He leaned right up to the glass and looked at me. And then he said something, but I don’t know what. I still couldn’t hear him well, but when he started talking I tried to read his lips.”

She shook her head. “And then they just—walked away. Shaun was crying and Dana wasn’t moving and I kept trying to find the latch but—” She waved her hand, unable to speak, and Nick’s gaze fell again on her torn nails. She’d tried to claw her way out.

She sobbed again, but then held up a hand. Set her jaw. She was shoving it down.

“I’m s-sorry,” she started, and Nick shook his head.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” he said. “Now, you said this man came right up to you—so did you get a good look at him?”

She nodded.

“That’s good,” Nick said encouragingly. “We’ll circle back to that in a minute. Now what about the other person?”

“No. They were wearing some kind of—it looked like a clean room suit. It was all white, and covered their face, I think. I didn’t see it, anyway. There was a tube running to something on their back.”

“And this is the person who took Shaun? Which way’d they go?”

“Back toward the elevator,” she whispered.

“Did you see anybody else?”

“No, only those two.”

“And after that?”

She stared past him. “I… don’t remember.” She swallowed. “I don’t know if I blacked out, or if the pod was reactivated. I was trying to get out, and then I was falling out.” She shrugged, but the line of her shoulders was tense, clearly ill at ease with the idea. “Then I left the vault and made my way here.”

She was leaving something out—someone must’ve pointed her this way, because no way was Fenway Park a pre-War person’s first destination after waking up after the apocalypse. His gut told him it wasn’t relevant, at least not now—she had said she’d had other help.

But her supposed blackout… that might complicate things. If the cryostasis had been reactivated, they’d have no way of verifying the timeline…

They needed to focus on what they could verify. “Alright.” Nick leaned forward in his seat. “Now, this man. You think you can describe him for me?”

“Yes.” She met his gaze and managed to hold it. “Where do you want me to start?”

“How about his outfit? Was he in a suit, too?”

“No. He was dressed like a—raider?”

Nick nodded.

“Like a raider. At the time I thought he was dressed strangely, but now I think it was patchwork armor. I don’t know for sure.”

“That’s alright. Do you remember anything else about what he was wearing?”

“No, just that his clothes were dark.”

So—patchwork armor, possibly a raider, more likely a mercenary—maybe one of the Gunners? They didn’t work solo, but Nora might not have seen the whole team. Whether the vault was broken into or was already open to the surface would tip his opinion about it being one of the smaller gangs or not. He doubted it, but there was no way to know for sure.

There was still the question of the person in the environment suit, if that’s indeed what it was. Those were a valuable piece of tech, and hard to come by, especially if they were pre-War. He knew Becky Fallon made one, once, but she was a professional seamstress and the customer had paid an arm and a leg for it. How well it worked he didn’t know, but it still looked homemade—a far cry from the sterile white Nora described. Regardless, it was likely not something small-timers would have access to or the caps for.

“Now, how about his physical appearance?” Nick asked. “Skin, hair, approximate age, distinguishing features. That sorta thing?”

She twisted the handkerchief again, closing her eyes. “He was white, bald or balding, with a beard. I think he was middle aged—he looked like he was on the older side, anyway. Or like he’d been out in the sun a lot. He seemed weathered.”

“That’s a good start,” Nick said. He redirected a portion of his processing power to running through faces and descriptions they had on file—from cases closed and otherwise. Filtered out the little gangs, prioritized Gunners, independent mercs, and the big-time raider gangs. It wasn’t guaranteed that he’d come up with anything, but he liked to think he was on top of the names and news going around the Commonwealth. If he didn’t come up with anything, he’d change his focus—at that point, anything would be worth a shot. And he’d been wrong before.

“Now, distinguishing features? Anything stand out about his appearance?”

Nora frowned. “He had a… slash across his face. This side.” She pointed to her forehead, just above her left brow, and drew a line down over her eye and cheek, stopping beside the corner of her mouth. “I remember because it was still stitched up.”

Now that was a solid detail. A wound like that was noticeable, and would almost certainly leave a prominent, depending on how long it’d been. Nick added that criteria to his search, and—

—got a hit almost immediately.

Nick held up his good hand. “Hold on a minute. Would you recognize this fella if you saw him again?”

Nora took a breath, and then nodded. “Yes.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Ellie,” he said, turning to look up at her. “What have we got on Conrad Kellogg?”

She turned on her heel toward the many boxes of documents stacked in the corner of the room. “Let me find the file.”

Nora sat forward, frowning. “Who’s Conrad Kellogg?”

“Local mercenary,” Piper said, clicking her pen. “Real scary guy.”

Nick turned to Nora. “Now, let me be clear: I don’t know if this is your man, so let’s not make any assumptions. But Piper got a pretty good look at him, and an alright photo, so we’ll have you look at that and see if you recognize him, alright?”

“Okay.”

“Now, to answer your question—this fella’s a merc, and allegedly a damn good one, or at least a well-supplied one. Swept into town a couple months ago, started throwing money around—chems, weapons, real estate, you name it. But nobody knows who he works for; just that he just disappears for days at a time. Nobody in Diamond City has the sorta caps that he does, except the upper stands folks, and last I checked, my contact there said he’d never seen the guy before.”

“Found it,” Ellie said, and reappeared at Nick’s shoulder holding a stack of documents held together by a paperclip. On the top of the stack, there was a photo—taken from below and to the left, pointed upwards at a man leaning against a balcony railing and smoking a cigar. The angle wasn’t ideal for identification, but it did show one thing very clearly: a scar, running from above the man’s left brow and down over his cheek.

“Take a look at this,” Nick said, sliding the photo out from beneath the paperclip and passing it across the desk to Nora. She took it, frowning deeply.

She stared at the photograph for a long moment, holding it with both hands.

She looked for a long time. The air in the office seemed to still, as Nick, Ellie, and Piper watched Nora, waiting. Her hands trembled, making the photograph quiver.

“What sort of person would do this?” she whispered. “And—why?”

Wasn’t that always the question? “Don’t think that’s something we can know, at least not yet,” Nick said gently. “Not until we find who we’re looking for.”

“This is him.” She looked up at him sharply. Her teary eyes were narrowed in determination. “I’m sure of it.”

“Easy,” Nick said. “He’s not the only one I want you to have a look at, alright?” His internal search hadn’t pinged anyone else yet, but jumping to conclusions wouldn’t help.

Nora set her jaw, unhappy but hopefully willing to cooperate. She didn’t protest, at least.

Nick flicked through the stack of papers, didn’t find what he was searching for, and looked up at Piper. “Didja get anything on the kid while I was gone?”

In the corner of his vision, Nora sat forward. “What kid?”

“Hold on a minute,” Nick said.

Piper and Ellie glanced at each other, which answered his question well enough.

“Nick, we dropped it. We’ve been looking for you,” Piper said.

Right, of course. He nodded, worked his jaw. Right now wasn’t the time to deal with whatever it was that made him feel; he pushed it back and focused on the matter at hand. He’d smoke it off later. “Alright. How long since we’ve had eyes on him?”

Piper counted on her fingers. “Nine days, I think?” She looked to Ellie for confirmation; Ellie nodded.

“We don’t have anything new, Nick,” she said.

“Wait. Why are you investigating this man in the first place?” Nora asked. “And what was that back at the gate about a rash of kidnappings the mayor won’t let anyone investigate? Are they related? And what kid?”

All good questions. Alright. “Well, that’s sorta what we’re trying to find out,” Nick said, leaning back in his chair. “You wanna take this one, Pipes?”

Piper clicked her pen and cocked her hip, fixing Nora with a serious look. All professional reporter again. “Have you ever heard of an organization called the Institute?”

Nora’s hesitation lasted only a fraction of a second—but that was enough.

“No,” she said.

Boy, did she have one hell of a poker face. Not a single tell but the hesitation, at least not that he caught. Piper launched into her “boogeymen of the Commonwealth” spiel and Nick turned it over in his head. So: sometime in the last week she’d had a run-in with the Institute, or, more likely, someone who knew about them and told her. Doubtful she’d still be alive if she’d encountered one of their scavenger teams. Not many folks could say they walked away from that.

She said she’d crossed the river at Cambridge… and she was toting that fancy laser rifle. It wasn’t the sleek red and white of Institute firearms; maybe she’d ran into that Brotherhood of Steel squad that holed up in the police station. She had said she’d had other help besides the dog.

He’d been avoiding the area—and the soldiers themselves, whenever they came into town to resupply. In an ideal world he’d have more than secondhand knowledge about what they were up to in the Commonwealth, but it wasn’t like he could stroll up and ask. He could only imagine what their precious Codex said about synths, especially since the alleged reason they’d rolled into town was to search out the Institute.

Could only imagine what they’d told her about synths, but at least she hadn’t called him any names yet. Still—there was a difference between being polite because you were a polite person and not being overtly hostile because the synth was the only one who could help you and you didn’t want to piss it off. He was either a good detective and folks pretended they didn’t notice the synth bit or he was a crime against nature and needed to be put down. God forbid he be just some guy.

Here was the most important question, though: why would she lie about it?

He could think of at least one very good reason, and it was sitting across the desk from her.

Didn’t matter right now, anyway, on any count. He and Piper’d figure it all out eventually, one way or another. So she didn’t trust him; he couldn’t exactly blame her for it. She still needed help.

“You think Kellogg works for them,” Nora was saying.

Piper made a finger gun at her. “Bingo.”

“Where does the kid come in?”

“A little less than three weeks ago now, Kellogg shows back up for the first time in weeks with a little boy in tow,” Nick started. “Not an infant,” he added before Nora could start to look hopeful. “Kid looked to be Nat’s age.”

“What’s unusual about that?” Nora asked.

“To be fair, not much,” Nick said, shrugging. “Could be he’s just settling into town with his son.”

“What was unusual is how secluded he kept the kid,” Piper said. “I asked Nat; he never showed up in class, always got hustled around by Kellogg when he was out and about, which wasn’t often. We were already looking into Kellogg; might as well look into the kid too, just in case it was something else.”

“We’re not sure if they’re still in town or not,” Ellie added, tapping Nick’s shoulder. “Like we said, we stopped surveillance when you went missing.”

“What did he look like?” Nora asked.

“Uh, dark skin, dark hair,” Piper said. “That’s all we got. I don’t think any of us saw him up close.”

“Huh. Do you know anybody who did?” Nora asked absently. She was staring into the middle distance again, and she had one hand twisted in the end of that long braid of hers. Nick could practically see the gears turning in her mind.

Before he could ask what she was thinking, something thumped against the ceiling above Nick’s desk. A moment later, the floorboards creaked, and then slow footsteps plodded down the stairs. Nat pushed the curtain aside to see all four adults staring at her as she stepped back into the office, and, true to form, she didn’t look intimidated in the slightest. No wonder Piper was worried about her following in her sister’s footsteps.

“Natalie,” Piper sighed. “You haven’t been on the deck at all, have you?”

“Like you wouldn’t do the same thing,” Nat shot back.

Piper scowled.

“Good thing I wasn’t, too.” Nat looked at Nick. “I talked to that kid. I can describe him.”

“No kidding,” Nick said.

“Nuh-uh. It was just the once but I remember it ’cause it was weird. The press jammed that morning and Piper had just fixed it so I went to pick up noodles to celebrate, and he was leaned over the bar trying to have a conversation with Takahashi.” She looked at Nora. “Newbie mistake. And he didn’t know how to use chopsticks. Obviously he hadn’t been in Diamond City very long.”

Nat shrugged. “So I asked him where he came from and he got really weird and said mister somebody told him not to talk to strangers. So I said Takahashi was a stranger and he said robots didn’t count, and anyway Tak wouldn’t talk to him except for saying what he always says. So I asked why I’d never seen him at school before and he said he didn’t go to school in Diamond City, but when I asked where he went he got really weird again and said he wasn’t allowed to say, and I said that sounded like bullcrap, and then that scary guy showed up out of nowhere and led him off towards the west stands.”

“What did he look like, Nat?” Nick asked patiently.

“Like her,” Nat said, pointing to Nora. “Like a little kid version, with the same nose and freckles and everything. But with blue eyes. And a boy.”

“How little?”

“I dunno, like, ten?” She shrugged again. “He was shorter than me, anyway.”

“That was him,” Nora said, sounding distant.

“Hold on a minute,” Nick started.

Nora whipped to face him, making full eye contact this time, shoulders tense, leaning forward in her seat. “Cryostasis—”

“Whoa,” Nick said, holding up a placating hand. “Now, let’s not—”

“I don’t know how long I was asleep the second time,” she insisted. “I don’t even know how or why I woke up at all! It could have been ten minutes; it could have been ten years. The amount of time that already passed, I—” Her eyes welled again. “Please,” she said. “Can we just—follow up on this? Just to be sure?”

Desperation colored her tone, made her voice crack, and the way she looked at him was—

Hell, how could he say no?

“We will,” he said, hopefully sounding reassuring. “We will, I promise. Okay?”

She stared at him, and if he hadn’t been watching for it, he probably wouldn’t have noticed the twitch in her lower eyelids. She didn’t believe him.

“Okay,” she said anyway.

“Okay,” Nick repeated. “Got another question for ya. Do you know if we’d be able to get back into the vault? It might do us good to have a look around, and the computer system may have dated logs that we can use to find out how long you were out for.”

Nora somehow tensed further. “I didn’t—fuck,” she said vehemently. “I should have thought of that.”

“You were dealing with a lot.”

“That’s not a fucking excuse,” she snapped, and then immediately clapped a hand over her mouth, looking mortified. “God, I’m sorry,” she said into the ensuing silence. “I didn’t mean—I’m sorry. That was inappropriate.”

Nick empathized, but let her sit with it for a moment anyway. Then he said, “You’re still dealing with a lot.”

Whatever retort she had for that—and she had one, judging by the way her jaw clenched again—she didn’t voice. She looked down at her hands in her lap, twisted the ring on her finger, inhaled and exhaled. “Right,” she muttered.

“So—the vault?”

“Right,” she repeated. “I think I could get back in with my Pip-Boy,” she said, holding up her left arm and her vaultie-standard portable computer. “I don’t know for sure.” She took a deep breath. “Obviously there’s some way in, right?”

“That’s the way to think about it,” Nick said, nodding. “So—here’s how I think we should go about this. We start by checking out Kellogg, and any other folks who match your description. If that doesn’t turn anything up, we can head up to Concord and check out the vault. How does that sound?”

Nora nodded.

“Alright.” They needed to wrap this up. Nora was clearly in no state to continue, even though she seemed to be chomping at the bit to get going. Whether it was stress, or the late hour, or exhaustion, or something else, target fixation and beating herself up wouldn’t help them in the slightest. She’d have a clearer head in the morning.

“I think it’s about time we called it a night,” Nick said. “We can pick this up again in the morning, if that’s alright with you.”

Nora looked up at him sharply. “Morning?”

“I’d like a little time to go through our other files, see if we have anyone else who fits your guy’s description. Like I said earlier—I can’t say for sure that Kellogg is the man we’re looking for, just that he fits the bill.” Nick softened his tone. “So, yeah, morning. The gate’ll be down by now, so nobody’s getting in the city, and we can get an early start tomorrow, be up before it opens, if you like, to make sure Kellogg doesn’t leave if he’s here. That sound good?”

Nora hesitated. Obviously, it didn’t sound good. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Nick said. He’d have to keep an eye out tonight in case she decided to take matters into her own hands. If everything else she’d gone through hadn’t slowed her down, he doubted his reassurance would. Leaning back in his chair, he looked at Piper. “Would you mind walking her to the Dugout on your way home? Tell Vadim she’s on my tab.”

“Sure thing, Nicky.”

“Seven work for you?” he asked Nora. “’Bout a half-hour before the sun’s up.”

“Yes, that’s fine,” she said. “Detective, about payment—”

Nick waved her off before she could get started. “We can talk about that when we find your boy,” he said.

She stared at him. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” he said. “I don’t take any fees until after a job’s done, and I haven’t even started working. For now, let’s focus on finding out what we can. Alright?”

She hesitated, then nodded quickly. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Piper ruffled her sister’s hair affectionately. “C’mon, Gnat, let’s get hit the road.” She gave him a little two-fingered salute over Nora’s head. “See ya in the morning, Nicky, Ellie. C’mon, Blue, what’re you waiting for?” Then she was out the door.

Nora stood up suddenly, and ducked her head. “Thank you both again,” she said quietly, and followed Piper.

Nat was the last to leave, sliding off Ellie’s desk and dragging her feet, and then, when the door was swinging shut behind Nora, she turned a sharp one-eighty and launched herself toward Nick, giving him only a second to prepare himself before she flung her arms around his neck and buried her face in his coat.

Nick hugged her back, patting her between the shoulder blades, and shook his head at Ellie as she mouthed “Aww.”

“I’m glad you’re not dead,” Nat muttered into his shoulder.

“Me too.”

She pulled back and pointed at him—a Piper move. “Stay out of trouble,” she said sternly.

Nick smiled. “You too, kiddo.”

With that, she left, too, sprinting out the door to catch up with her sister.

The office was felt larger than it was with just the two of them that were left. He’d only gotten back a little while ago, but somehow, it felt like he’d never left. It coulda been any other night after seeing off a client; Ellie’d work quietly for a little while yet before heading to bed, and Nick would be burning the candle at both ends, just like always.

Ellie smiled ruefully. “It just never stops, does it?”

“Sure doesn’t,” he agreed.

She sighed heavily, and leaned up against the desk. “How did your other case shake out?” she asked. “Or is that a silly question, considering I haven’t seen you in two weeks?”

“It went better than you’d expect,” he said. “Turns out, our runaway wasn’t an unwilling participant after all.” Nick shrugged. “Decided she’d have a better life as some gang boss’ gun moll than doing whatever daddy had planned for his little girl here in DC.”

Ellie blew out a sigh. “And she decided to abide by that decision…?”

“Eh, not exactly. Shoulda seen Piper. Two minutes and she had the gal convinced her new beau was all talk and no action. Made the poor fella cry when she walked out.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Ah, well, it was Skinny Malone, if you can believe that, and he’s a soft touch. That’s why I’m still kicking; he got all sentimental about the old times and threw me in an office instead of just shooting me. Guess the guy’s only real friends are his enemies.” He rubbed the back of his head. “The dame sure wasn’t, though. Got me good with a swatter. A couple of times.”

Ellie pinched the bridge of her nose between her index fingers. “You are unreasonably lucky sometimes, you know that?”

“Hey now, I like to think some of it’s just good old-fashioned charm.”

“If you keep laughing at death, one day death’s gonna laugh back,” she countered. “God, Nick, you need someone to watch your back. What if Piper hadn’t been able to track you down?”

“I’da figured something out.” He would have; in another day or two he was sure he coulda convinced some of Malone’s boys to turn on their boss.

“You need a new partner,” Ellie said firmly. “And not another Marty; someone reliable.”

“I know, I know,” he said. “You find me one of those, you let me know.”

Ellie pursed her lips. “Believe me, I will.” She sighed heavily. “But—not tonight. I am cried out and exhausted, and I am going to bed.” She stepped forward, into his space, and then leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Goodnight, Nick.”

Nick smiled after her. “Night, El.”

She was right, of course. She usually was. But it wasn’t something he had time to worry about. They had a case to solve. He needed to review the Kellogg file, and dig through others for anything similar to Nora’s missing kid—while he had the time.

Nick sat back in his chair, fished his half-smoked cigarette out of his coat pocket, and lit it again, watching the smoke curl upwards toward the rafters. Rain drummed distantly against the roof. The neon sign outside hummed. Up above him, Ellie breathed softly.

He’d give it until the rain stopped, if that long. The night wasn’t over yet.

#my beta can't stop me from posting this because she's not here #will be up on ao3 once we're finished with the rest of the chapter #nick valentine #fallout 4 #piper wright #sole survivor #nick x sole #fallout fic #fallout oc

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tehloserprince · 8 months

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I was tagged by @santacoppelia - thank you! 🥺🧡

1. were you named after anyone? Michael Jordan, ha ha. No, really, my mom's a huge fan. She's followed his career ever since his UNC days. I love telling people that's how I got my name. For the record, although I have an obligatory fondness for my hometown team and a nostalgic love for the Bulls in their Jordan Era, I'm currently a Bucks fan.

2. when was the last time you cried? It's really difficult for me to cry. It's such a relief at times, tho. I cried a few weeks ago, when I realized my special needs dog was having some epilepsy-related issues. I've mostly accepted that I'll probably never see him with a grey muzzle, but I really hope we can share more time together. There are still so many things I want to show him.

3. do you have kids? Nope. Sorta did, once, but I don't really talk about that much. It was a good experience, and I still love/think about her. But my kids are all the critter variety these days ;) I enjoy hanging out with my friends' kids, but they're all growing up too quickly :/ What even is time

4. what sports do you play/have you played? I never really played anything professionally, but I liked soccer, basketball, and running when I was younger. I got into boxing and Muay Thai when I was a little older, and also did a lot of hiking. Unfortunately I'm crippled, so I'm limited in what I can/should do. I try to go on lots of walks with my pup and swim whenever I can. Sometimes I still wrap my hands and hit the bag, which is fun.

5. do you use sarcasm? No, never. (/s obvs)

6. what's the first thing you notice about people? The way they treat other people - especially the most vulnerable - and animals. Physically, eyes and smile. I'm more impressed by people who can be genuinely kind without ulterior motivation.

7. what's your eye color? Hazel.

8. scary movies or happy endings? Depends on my mood! In terms of scary films, gore feels lazy and boring to me. I need a film to get inside my head in order to be scary. But I'm a sucker for happy endings too, which is a lot of projection on my part, ha ha.

9. any talents? Err. Uh. Writing, I guess? Remembering a lot of random info? Friends are consistently surprised that I'll remember so many little details, especially if it's like ... me surprising them with something they mentioned liking at some point. Funny enough, I'll frequently forget why I walked into a room these days, but I'm glad some parts of my memory still excel! I'm also told that I'm extremely patient, if that counts as a talent.

10. where were you born? Charlotte, NC.

11. what are your hobbies? Writing, reading, watching movies and television shows (mostly with the BFF), random crafts, DIY home improvement stuff (I painted my entire house despite my health worsening over the years and I'm very proud of that), canine behavior/training, and playing video games. I don't have as much time for games, but I still enjoy it. Started a new game of Red Dead Redemption 2 this winter, and I've been spending hours just roaming the land with my horse.

12. do you have any pets? Ha, yes! I do a lot of animal rescue and have some life goals related to that, so hopefully I'll always be surrounded by critters. My beloved dog (Skippyjon) passed away in 2022 (old age and CHF). I had a cockatiel for 21 years - a birthday present when I turned 8. We basically grew up together, and the house is still way too quiet without him. I had other dogs (Smokey and Locke), and a lot of fish. In college, I had an "illegal" hamster, Kai (Kaizoku). He was fat and wonderful. I chose him because he squeezed past his siblings, sat in their food dish, and started shoving food in his mouth. King behavior tbh. I had a rat named Stevie in my late 20s. Currently, I have a deaf special needs dog (Oscar aka Ozzy), a cat that I hand-raised because she was found abandoned shortly after birth (Swayze), and a rabbit (Shasta aka Bad Bunny). At some point, I decided that all my rabbits would be named after soda brands, ha.

13. how tall are you? About 5'10".

14. favorite subject in school? Literature, Spanish, Philosophy, sometimes History, Classical Studies, Art. Anything that wasn't math, because I always struggled with that.

15. dream job? If I could make a living off of writing and spend a lot of my time doing animal rescue, I'd be content. Even if I was wealthy, I'd ultimately pursue a simple, cozy life without a lot of fanfare. I'd love to have more money to invest in animal rescue and local community welfare (kids should always have basic necessities imo). Maybe someday ...

Tagging anyone who feels like doing this! Feel free to reblog or tag me if you wanna let me know that you did it. Thanks, this was fun :3

#tagged #santacoppelia #about me #shut up j

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annimator-ocblog · 11 days

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OC Story: Friends & Family

(I’m a sucker for found families. Also BATCH 2 BONDING WOOOOOOO)

(TW: Mentions of Death)

Mercy and Geno found themselves hanging out with group 2-4 very often ever since they joined Arcana Academy.

Sure, both of them already had 10 other close friends from the group they were assigned to join when they enrolled, but the more the merrier after all.

Nova & Ro had similar senses of humour & morals to them, and they usually went on double dates with them during the weekends,

Dylan & Kai were sympathetic, since they also had little to no knowledge of the middle grounds, or as they called it; the surface,

Parker had a lot of wisdom to offer, and basically held the whole group together as their leader,

Brio & Orion had archives worth of history & geography stored within their minds, which they gladly told to the both of them, fully confirming that the war between Angels and Demons ended centuries ago once the two races made a peace treaty.

And Edan & Skadi similarly told stories of fascinating and unique creatures alongside those who’ve come across them.

———

They were all currently hanging out in 2-4’s dorm floor, having just spent 2 hours visiting and buying a multitude of items from Arcana City’s shopping district.

“So how’s everyone else doing?” Parker asked.

Geno responded, “There doing alright for the most part. But, they’ve definitely changed after what happened in the caverns; Lance & Aaron have been clinging to each other more than usual, and the same thing’s true with Zac and Kumiho, Jadeyn’s still mostly secluding themselves in their room, but they’ve only been coming out their room to get food & do some other thing they won’t tell us about, Iris & Macy are mostly fine, but they’re definetly worried over everyone, Marcus & Liam have been having trouble sleeping for the past couple of days, and C’s still unconscious.”

Orion sighed, “I could see where those two are coming from. Getting attacked by an Entity and even dying to them’s definitely something that’ll stick with you. Brio & I have personally been attacked by a bunch of them months prior to arriving to Arcana City, and we still get nightmares of it from time to time.”

“They were pretty easy to defeat, but there were a LOT of them. We were in a village when they attacked us, and there weren’t much people in it that had experience in combat.” Brio said.

Lilith responded to what the two of them said, “Gee, you guys have gone through absolute shit. I mean, I’ve nearly died in the past too, but I rarely think about that.”

“Yeah, I personally don’t like staying in the past since I don’t like to remember some… things, but there are some memories that I cherish a lot, like meeting Lilith!” Clover added on to Lilith’s reply.

Nova’s face saddened over everything that was said, “It’s hard to believe you guys’ve gone through shit. None of you genuinely deserve to gone through hell.”

“I agree with Nova, we’re all still young. And death is not something all of us should have to worry about even considering all the dangerous shit that surrounds us. Don’t you two agree?” As Ro said that, she turned to Mercy & Geno.

Mercy replied, “Yeah, but neither of us really know about whatever the other went through besides Marcus & Liam’s reincarnation. Except Iris & Macy, they’ve had a chill upbringing from what we’ve seen.”

“Yeah, and even though they told us about that, they rarely bring it up. They’re glad that they got a second chance with being reborn, but they clearly didn’t want anyone else to know since they’re worried about how people would think about them. It’s kinda like how Mercy & I don’t really like bringing up our families since we left home.”

Kai lightened up the mood by replying to Geno, “Well, your birth families might’ve been bad for the most part, but you have us and the rest of 2-7 as a new one!”

Dylan smiled as he heard what Kai said, “Yeah, you have the 21 of us a family you two. Jury’s still out on whose might be the patriarch.”

“Y’know, even if he’s gone through shit, but Marcus still puts a hell of a fight. Same thing with Liam considering the fact that he pulled out his spear to join in on me & Marcus’ fight before SOMEONE broke it off.” Edan glared daggers at Parker as he said that.”

They quickly replied as Edan stared at them, “Ok y’know what I do not want to verbally kick your ass again over this. You guys are gonna have a rematch once C wakes up & we talk more about what happened in the caverns. Skadi’s gonna be supporting you by fighting alongside you this time anyways.”

Skadi chuckled, “It’ll be fun! We’ve rarely gotten chances to fight side-by-side anyways.”

Hearing them all talk about everything in a positive & optimistic way makes Mercy & Geno smile over where they both are right now.

Leaving their respective “homes” brought them to an even better one in the end.

#oc story #convalescence arc

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theboardwalkbody · 26 days

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Debating taking another (free) train ride into the city tomorrow to see Twister in 4DX (because I have a gift card and I'd only have to pay 12 dollars vs the full 30).

I've never been to a 4DX theater before (the closest ones are both an hour away and the one is in NYC) and honestly I didn't even know they existed until like 5 days ago. So part of me is wondering if it's really with it but at the same time it's my favorite movie, so many things happened simultaneously to make it all cost under 15 dollars (on a regular day with there being no fare holiday and no gift card it would have come out to about 67 dollars give or take a dollar or two because IDK if trains have tax), and I was 5 when it came out so I never got to see it in theaters (I never got to go to the theater that young). But 13 dollars vs 67 is a huge difference.

Plus my best friend lives in NY and her and her bf are headed down to Jersey tomorrow and coincidentally they're going by train and taking the same line as me, just in the opposite direction obviously, and at a similar time so I've already looked at the departure maps and found where our trains would pass by each other. I highly doubt we would actually see each other waving due to the high speed and sometimes the windows are so dirty you can barely see out of them, but still.

I feel like I need a pro/con list:

(The pro/con list and everything else is on par with a journal entry and delves into my mental health and what are probably aspects of my suspected disorders hence under a read more because I don't want to clog your dash if you aren't interested in my every thought LOL).

PRO:

1. Twister in a theater. Huge screen. Full surround sound. Favorite movie.

2. 4DX apparently means it's supposed to FEEL like you're in it (like an amusement park ride I assume - which twister had one at universal in Florida but it's been taken down and I never got to go). My expectations are kinda like, feeling the bumps in the road when they're driving through debris or in the ditch/fields, seat dipping when Bill's tire blows out. Apparently some of them have water? So maybe rain but I honestly don't expect much from that. Idk how much weather effects can be simulated and obviously they can't recreate tornado force winds or hail. But I still kinda think just the bumps in the road alone would be cool because it would feel like being in the car with them.

3. Like I said above; the timing of so many factors reducing the cost by about 50 dollars is actually Insane to pass on. Because at this point it really is basically free. It's cheaper than lunch at a fast food joint.

4. The kinda of silly but kinda adorable train situation with my bff and I.

5. I don't have a time limit so technically after the movie I could do whatever I want in the city. I won't have time to go back to the Natural History museum (which I kinda want to do since my bf brought the mood down on Monday and I want to go explore the space stuff fully and I never got to find the gemstone exhibit) but I can do other things. And if I don't want to be out late I can always just leave after the movie.

6. It's a short walk from the train to the theater. I'm not confident about navigating the subway by myself (and Monday I kept checking in with my bff for confirmation I wasn't going the wrong way).

7. There's an Auntie Ann's in the train station which doesn't sound like much but I'll want a snack and the only ones around here are at malls and inconvenient to go to.

8. The train ride is super relaxing. I can scroll, read, listen to music and just be left alone and watch the world go by in the window (and for once not be the one driving) and just be calm. If it was free all the time I could see myself riding it just for relaxation. Hop on and then at any stop just get off and wait for a train going back towards home to get on.

CONS:

1. My depressed ass may feel a little better mood wise but I have 0 motivation ever. Like it's bad. My idea of a good day is staying in bed, not going out, getting good food delivered and just scrolling on my phone. Anything that requires getting out of bed is exhausting, tbh, and leaves my drained and I'll need at least 3 days to recover just to lay in bed more. I'm a little tired thinking about it even though I think I'll have fun.

2. I'll be honest. I may be slightly dependent on my bf. He works at 3 and he always calls on his way to work (a 8 minute drive). We typically talk on his drive to/from work (or school) if I'm not at work/school myself, if his parents aren't home and he wants to show me the cat and at night when his cat's around even though he has to whisper. He doesn't like calling when his parents are home because they can hear everything through the walls/floor. So I kinda base my day around those 8 minutes to and from. Which is probably really unhealthy. On the occasions I missed those calls because I was actually doing my own thing (and I have told him in advance I'll be out but 75% of the time he calls anyway) and I don't/can't stop what I'm doing to pick up the call I feel SUPER guilty and get anxious about it thinking he's gonna be mad (even though he says it's ok and wants me to do more for myself). Part of me thinks: if he was really ok with it and really wanted me to do my own thing he wouldn't have called when I told him I couldn't talk. and I always read the 'you missed [the cat]' message or, if I do call back s few minutes later, the 'yeah I'm already here and can't talk now' message as 'you should have answered when I called and you didn't so now you should feel bad because I'm pissed at you' which is super fucked up of me to even create that response out of those basic replies. SO YEAH ANYWAY - I wouldn't be able to talk to him on his way to work and I'd be anxious as fuck during the movie thinking he's gonna be mad for no reason.

2.5. I actually asked if he thinks it's stupid that I go. That I travel an hour and a half into NYC just to watch a movie I've seen a hundred+ times. If it seems ridiculous or way to over the top. He said no, he doesn't think that, and I can't help but think he's lying. (Idk why my brain does this.)

3. I'll have to get up earlier than I have been for two weeks straight now. Doesn't seem like a big deal but it might feel like one in the morning which will amplify the problem from Con 1.

That's all I can think of for cons ATM.

Obviously my biggest con (and near only con) comes from the dependency issue I have which I REALLY need to work on getting over (my therapist agrees). And the pros outweigh it by a mile - but my mentality is all wrong because it focuses on the cons and ignores the pros because the cons hurt and I want to avoid it.

But if I'm honest I keep imagining such a chill day.

Super Cinnamon bagel on the way to the train station that I can eat on my way up. Listen to music and chill on the way up. Short walk though Times Square to the theater. Seeing my favorite movie in a theater. Getting a little bonus experience from it. Most likely just heading home after because I'm sure I'll be mentally exhausted from the effort of getting there and if I have to wait a bit for the train home (as in not walking into the station as the train is boarding and running to the track to avoid waiting 35 minutes for the next one like on Monday) I can get a pretzel snack and either eat it while I wait or eat it on the trip home. Get to enjoy the train again on the way home. And likely be home for dinner and still get to talk to my bf on his way home. Plus I'm seeing him Sunday anyway.

Yeah. It would probably be a good idea to go. Even if the 4DX isn't great. (And to be fully honest I thought 4DX was just 4K and I wanted to go because I thought 'it'll be so crisp and on a huge screen it should be super high quality' but then I learned what 4DX actually is and I was a bit disappointed because I thought 'oh so maybe the video quality won't be much different than like the VHS quality, just bigger'. But I feel like I'm underestimating the visual aspect and hey - either way it's still a large screen and surround sound.

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toomanysurveys9 · 1 year

Text

Do you want the last dream you had to come true? Probably not. I’ve been having some fucked up dreams lately.

When did you last talk to the person you’d most wanna talk to right now? I don’t know that there is anybody anymore. I’m basically just chilling with my kids these days.

What kind of pill did you last take? Either Tylenol or Ibuprofen.

Do you like wearing glasses? I don’t wear glasses... yet. I do like sunglasses though.

Does your mom know the last person you hung out with? Considering it’s my husband and kids, yes.

What were you doing 4 hours ago? I was headed home from Walmart after just getting off of work.

What would you most like to eat right now? We just ate dinner. I’m full.

How long were you last in the car for? Maybe 10 minutes.

What is something good that happened last weekend? We spent the day at Jake’s mom’s house and that went good.

Do you like holding hands or do you think it’s stupid? It depends on my mood, but when I don’t want to, it’s not because I think it’s stupid.. I just don’t want to.

The last song you heard, what does it make you think of? I don’t even remember what song I last heard.

How’d you get your last injury? Our new kitten. Her name is Cookie. I found her outside of my work.

What do you like about your birthday? Spending it with my family. But my birthday is not my favorite. Every year something bad happens... usually a huge fight with either my mom or Jacob.

Do you like being home alone at night? I’m never home alone at night. I always have my kids at least. So not really.

What first comes to mind when thinking of 10th grade? My English teacher who was super amazing.

What’s the scariest thing that’s happened to you? Any time my kids got really hurt and resulted in a hospital visit. Unfortunately, they got my clutzy genes.

Has an ambulance ever came to your house? Yup. Usually for my mom or my grandparents.

The person you’re thinking about- what are you thinking about them? I’m not really thinking about anyone.

When did you last skip class? I don’t remember. It was in undergrad... so sometime between 2012-2016.

Do you like the shape of your fingernails? I don’t really care.

Did you look at your fingernails for the question above? I did not.

Whose pool did you last swim in? The one at my sister’s apartment.

What’s something you like about your 3rd hour? I’m in grad school and it doesn’t work like that... at least it doesn’t at the one I’m going to.

Is formspring a good idea? I don’t even know what that is.

What’s your biggest problem at the moment? The kids and I are leaving for Florida in a week for a week and I’m not even remotely prepared.

What’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you? I don’t know.

When did you last see a police car? Earlier today. It was driving down the road.

Why aren’t you doing something more productive than this? I don’t feel like it. I should be putting our mountains of laundry away. But I didn’t feel like it today. I’m so tired.

How many people know about the last person you kissed? At least most of the people in my house currently.

How many different cars have you driven? A lot.

What did you do on Thursday? I didn’t really do much last Thursday. I worked and then I worked on my signature assignment for class.

What color was the last thing you drank? Red.

What do you do on Fridays? It depends on the Friday. But usually I work, go to the store for groceries, and then make dinner.

Have you ever had to take desperate measures in a desperate situation? Yeah.

What door did you last open besides any on your house or car? Uh. The one at Walmart if you count automatic doors. If not.. it was Panera Bread because I’m part of the sip club and wanted a soda. I started my first period since Nora was born (November 2021) this past Saturday and craving sugar.

What is the meaning of life? It varies for everyone. The meaning of my life is to raise my babies into good humans and make them proud to have me as their momma.

#survey #surveys #personal #questions #question #random

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belovedholland · 3 years

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hii. can i request a one shot for peter or tom with maybe the 4 times he stands her up on their dates and the 1 time he doesn’t/finally shows up? im really in the mood for some angst to fluff lol. shankuu

One last chance || pp.

[The pictures are from @/rryyaan on tiktok]

》 summary: The four times Peter stands you up on your date, and the one time he actually shows up, but it had become too much for you

pairing: Peter x reader

w/c: 6.3k (how? idk)

warnings: Angst, one swear word

a/n: I've been working on this request for way too long, I'm so sorry it's first finished now, but I really liked the idea.

This is my longest fic yet, and the first thing I have written for Peter, so I hope you enjoy it!

Thank you @tshluvr for all the help, ily <3

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A little less than 4 months ago, Peter had asked you to be his girlfriend. It was romantic and something you would never forget. He had texted you to meet him at the park, and when you arrived he stood there with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in one hand, and in the other hand a box of heart shaped chocolates.

The sun was shining bright that day, so the two of you sat down underneath a tree, the shadow cooling you both down nicely. You talked for hours, ate chocolate and ended up all over each other making out.

The two of you had such a good date, that you never acknowledged the time, it wasn't until Peter mentioned the stars that you saw it was half past 12. You both went home with wide grins covering your faces.

It was the most perfect date you had ever been on. Knowing Peter and how caring he was, you knew he would make every date special. You knew every date would be just like your first. Or at least that's what you hoped for.

When you had been together for three weeks. Peter had asked you out on a second date, the first date where you were an official couple. It had been a long week at school. You had gotten plenty of hard assignments, which meant you and Peter hadn’t gotten much time to spend together, and therefore Peter decided to ask you to go out for dinner on that Sunday, hoping it would make a good ending to a bad week.

It wasn't anything fancy, just a dinner at the nearby restaurant. You had found a cute yellow dress, your makeup matched the yellow color, alongside some silver jewelry. Peter had told you, he would come to your house to pick you up, that’s what he had told you at least, but he never showed up at your door. After waiting fifteen minutes you came to the conclusion that you must have heard wrong, so you walked to the restaurant alone.

You arrived at the restaurant, but Peter was nowhere to be seen. You sat down at your reservated table, and then you waited. You waited and waited. It had been 10 minutes since you arrived, 40 minutes since Peter was meant to pick you up. You were confused as to where he was. You felt awkward sitting there in a restaurant all by yourself with no food in front of you.

The waiter came over once again, asking if you needed anything, you told her that you were heading out, and that you were sorry for taking up the space. It had become too much for you to sit there alone in silence, and if you were honest; you didn’t think Peter would even show up, cause otherwise he would have already.

You had never in your wildest dreams imagined Peter could be the guy to stand someone up on a date, but here you were anyway; walking home alone, angry at Peter, but really you were just sad and confused.

At school the next day, you just wanted to ignore Peter, you still weren't in the mood to talk to him. But that plan was quickly ruined, because the second Peter saw you walking to your locker, he made his way towards you. Any other day your heart would have melted at that, but not today. He embraced you in a tight hug, and told you how sorry he was, and that he was an idiot for not texting you. You just silently agreed with him, grabbed your books, and left him, not saying another word.

You felt a bit mean from being cold to him, but you also thought he deserved it.

At lunch he sat in front of you, he explained that it was his job at Stark Industries that came in the way, that he was working late, and the time slipped from him completely. Peter had never really told you what he did for the job, you just had your assumptions, and whenever you asked, he gave you a half complete sentence and then moved to the next topic, but you weren’t really phased by that.

He asked you out on a new date, that hopefully would make up for his stupidness. You knew he felt bad about standing you up, and you couldn't be mad at him for much longer, so you agreed to the date right away, with a half smile creeping its way to your lips.

The date took place a few days later, Peter hadn't told you anything about it, as he wanted it to be a big surprise. You were so excited to see what he had planned, that you completely forgot how the last date ended, or at least what was supposed to be a date.

He had in total told you two things about the date.

1: You should wear something you would normally wear on a weekday.

2: To meet him at the same park as your first date.

That got you even more excited. Knowing that you already had had an amazing and romantic date there, thinking this one would be just as good. Expectations way too high.

You got ready, put on some of your prettier daily clothes, did a bit of makeup, and sprayed on your favorite perfume, which also just happened to be Peter's favorite.

You excitedly went to the park, looking around for Peter. You first went to the tree, you sat under on your first date, but he wasn't there. So you decided to walk around the park, you looked for him everywhere, but he was nowhere to be seen.

He couldn't possibly have stood you up again. You thought to yourself as you were standing under the tree again. This tree was all good memories, but it was about to turn into a memory you didn't want to remember. You wanted to look at the tree, and remember how Peter had kissed you all over your face as you sat in its shadow. Or how Peter had hugged you tight into his warm body when you got a little cold. You wanted that tree to be a memory of your cute first date, and how Peter got you completely flustered. You didn’t want to look at the tree and want to cry.

You didn't really know what to do. Should you wait a little longer? Call Peter? You decided against it, as you just wanted to go home. But you made a quick stop on the way.

You entered the building, took the elevator to the fourth floor, walked down the hall and stopped in front of the door labeled 437, you then knocked on the door twice.

You heard the sound of the lock twisting, and the door opened, revealing May in a flower printed apron.

"Hey Y/n, what a pleasure to see you. I'm sorry, but Peter isn't here, can I help you with anything?" May asked, a bright smile across her face, one she bore with such ease, and also quite the opposite of yours. You had been to Peter's home plenty of times, a few times while dating, and so many times during the last couple years as friends. Therefore May knew you very well, she was like a second mom to you.

"Do you by any chance know where he is?" You asked, defeat overcoming you.

"Yeah, he went to the Stark tower a few hours ago, why?" You tried playing off your disappointment, but May could see right through you."He said he would be back at around 8 pm., so two hours max. You are more than welcome to stay and eat, I can get you something to drink in the meantime. Tea? Coffee? Soda? Whatever you want." She said with a big inviting smile, but you shook your head.

"No it's okay, thank you though, I think I'm just gonna go home." You gave her a quick hug, and went your own way.

You couldn't believe it - or maybe you could - Peter had stood you up again, and yet again for the Stark Industries. He hadn't even told May that you were supposed to be on a date.

The fact that he stood you up on that day wasn't even the worst. What really hurt was how he acted, when you came back for school the next day. He never said sorry. In fact he didn’t even mention it. He acted as if it never happened, as if he did nothing wrong, so you decided to just straight up ask him, hoping he would realize his mistake and apologize.

“Peter,” he looked up from the notes he was taking for the current class. “Did you forget something?” His eyes widened immediately, by the way you were asking him, he knew he had forgotten something, just not what, so he made a guess.

“Did we have homework for biology class?” He had forgotten.

“No, you just forgot to write down the equation.” You pointed to his notes, he thanked you, wrote it down, and got back to listening to the teacher.

At that moment it felt like he didn't care about you. It felt like he cared so little, that he had completely forgotten the date, that was meant to be a sorry for standing you up on the date before. But you knew, that wasn't true. You knew he cared about you, a lot. And that's why you decided to forgive him. You had known Peter for years, and you knew he didn't mean to hurt you. You would just forgive him, and act the same way as him, as nothing had happened.

He is busy and can't do anything about it, be grateful for the time that he does spend with you. Those were the words you began to tell yourself from that point moving forward.

-❁-❁-❁-

You had now been with Peter for 3 months, most of the time everything was good. You had spent plenty of nights cuddled up on his bed while watching a movie, he showed you love and affection, and every minute you spend together, you feel even harder for him.

As if you were falling from a high cliff, hoping that you would eventually stop falling, and you would land in his strong arms. And then when you eventually did stop falling, Peter wasn't the one to catch you, you landed harshly on what felt like knives.

That was the way you would describe how you felt, when Peter had for the third time stood you up. And once again - to no surprise - he said it was his job at Stark industries that got in the way.

At least he knew what he had done. He knew what he had done and how it made you feel. So he did everything he could to make you feel better, plenty of days spent together, wrapped in each other's arms, he would help you with the classes you weren't as good in.

He really did everything to make it better, and that had you falling again. As if the knives you had fallen on had become hands that pushed you off of a new cliff. Falling for Peter all over again. Falling for him even after he had missed three dates.

Peter was a charmer, a real softie, that would do anything he could to make it up to you. You would always be falling for him, and you couldn't do anything about it.

Peter asked you on another date a few weeks later, you trusted him. He wouldn't make the same mistake four times, right? No, you were sure this was gonna be a good date. Peter was an angel, he could never possibly stand you up again.

But here you were, crying in your bed, because Peter never showed up at your door to get you. You knew he wouldn't be at the restaurant, so you just went straight to bed.

For the first time since you started dating, you considered what his real feelings for you were. If he even wanted you, cause it didn't feel like it. Why would he want to be with you, just to miss four dates? If he really cared about you, he would have showed up, at every single one. If he wanted you he would have made an effort.

But at other times, he was the sweetest, the sweet Peter that came to your house to spend all day with you just to cuddle and watch a movie. At times like that you felt like you were his world, like he didn't care about anything other than you. At times like that you felt like he might even love you, the same way you loved him. You had never told him that, scared he wouldn't say it back.

Maybe he didn't want you, maybe he didn't want to waste his time with you, but why would he then even ask you on the stupid dates in the beginning?

You wanted to scream and cry. He had stood you up on a total amount of four times in a row. That must be some sort of new record. All your emotions were bundled up, and it made it hard for you to know how you actually were feeling.

You were confused, that you were sure of. You were angry, you wanted to punch him, scream at his face, telling him how bad he broke your heart. You wanted him to feel the same pain he had left you with. But not to hurt him, just so he could understand.

You didn't know what to do, you couldn't keep doing this, that's all you knew. You couldn't keep fighting for him, if he didn't even give the amount of effort that was needed in your relationship. You could not continue to be so miserable.

But what could you do about it? The thought of breaking up with him crossed your mind. And the second it did, you tried to get rid of it. You loved him, you loved him so badly it hurt, those four dates broke your heart like nothing had done before, but you still couldn't break up with him.

You knew you deserved better. But you didn't want better, you wanted Peter, and you hated that. You hated that you loved him so bad.

The sound of your phone vibrating, made your head shoot up from the pillow. The wet tear-stained pillow.

You grabbed your phone in the dark, and saw that you had received a text from Peter. Just the thought of him made you cry even more.

The text was simple, yet so heartbreaking.

Peter♡: I'm sorry, Mr. Stark needed my help and I couldn't say no :(

Of course it was his job, it always was. You decided to just let the text be, not answering him. Right as you were about to lock the phone, another text popped up.

Peter♡: I hope you can forgive me

You knew Peter well enough to know that he was sorry, or at least you hoped so, you couldn't bare the thought of him not caring, but lately that's how it felt. Laying your phone down and dwelling off to sleep felt like the best and only thing you could do, so that you did.

-❁-❁-❁-

"Hey babe!" Peter exclaimed as he came up behind you, and wrapped his arms around your wait, pulling you into a hug and left a soft kiss on your cheek. Another day at school, another day you had to see Peter, but you were far from the mood to do so. When you didn't respond he then kept going. "I hope you're not too angry with me." You just stood still, like he wasn't even there.

He dropped his arms from around your body, and moved to face you. "I'm sorry I missed our date."

"I'm not feeling like talking right now." You said and turned away from him and started walking towards your class, leaving him in the hall.

"Y/n!" He called after you, then ran up and stopped in front of you, to block you from leaving. "I'm really sorry I missed it, mr. Stark said he nee-" Peter began, but was interrupted by your mumbling.

"Of course it was him." You said under your breath.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked, brows knitted together in confusion.

"You are always so busy with him." You said matter-of-factly, not in a hard or mean tone, but a defeated one.

"No I'm not." Peter laughed lightly and shook his head.

"You have stood me up on our last four dates, all because of Tony Stark. So yeah, you are always busy with him."

"I'm sorry okay, I'm really sorry, please forgive me," he pleaded, eyes soft, looking deeply into yours. "Please forgive me," he pleaded again. When you didn't answer, he took your head in his hands, and started kissing all over your face. "Please," kiss, "forgive," kiss, "me," kiss. You couldn't help the small laughs that left your lips.

He pulled away, his warm hands still on your cheeks, he had a soft smile from hearing your laughs.

"How can I not?" You shouldn't have, and you knew that, but you couldn't help it. You loved Peter, and would do so much for him and your relationship, even if that meant suffering from his lack of effort.

"Thank you." He said after giving you a big passionate kiss right on your lips. "Let me make it up to you," he said, making you curious. "I will take you out on a date, and-" He began but you cut him off right away.

"Peter, I don't think that's a good idea."

"I promise I will be there."

"You said the same thing with the previous dates too."

Now he was the one to look defeated, it hurt him to see you like this; shoulders down, your head hanging low, and the lack of energy that he was so used to seeing. "I know, and I was stupid, but I promise you. Mr. Stark won't be in the way this time." He said with pleading eyes. He knew what he had done, and he wasn't gonna do that again. "Look, I will even text him, tell him I will be busy on that day." He said as he pulled his phone out from his pocket.

"Peter," you placed your hand on his, trying to stop him.

"What day? Should we say this Saturday? That it will be." He said not even letting you answer, and he was already texting out a message on his phone. "There, told him I'm busy and that he shouldn't call me, doesn't matter how urgent it is."

He looked up from his phone again, meeting your eyes. You didn't know what to say, in reality you didn't really feel like going on a date, you just wanted to be yourself for a bit. As much as you adored Peter in this moment, and how much he was trying, you just wanted to be alone, or at least at distance from him. The idea of him standing you up again was too much.

"Gotta go, see you." You didn't even get to say anything about the date, before he gave you a kiss on the cheek and left, leaving you alone and confused.

You so desperately wanted everything to be okay between you and Peter, you wanted to deny all the bad feelings in the relationship. But you couldn't hold it in longer, you felt miserable, and you simply couldn't do it anymore.

As much as you loved Peter, you needed to get away from him, as much as it would hurt the two of you, you had to break up with him. When and how, was just the big question now.

You really didn't want to end things with him, because you did truly love him, every bit of him. It would absolutely break your heart to end things, but you were already hurting so bad, and it needed to stop.

-❁-❁-❁-

Saturday came around and you had decided to give Peter one last chance to make everything better. You had decided to facetime MJ as you got ready, hoping she could calm down your nerves, which she did.

“What if he doesn’t show up?” You asked sadly, looking at MJ through the screen, waiting for an answer.

“Y/n/n, I’m sure he will, he loves you,” she reassured you. “And if he doesn’t, then I’m gonna kick his ass and kiss yours.” She joked, an attempt to lighten up your mood, which – by the sound of your giggles – seemed to have worked. “Hey! I got you laughing, that's good.”

You quickly finished getting ready, and told MJ that you would text her. As you were walking to the restaurant the nerves suddenly hit you like a brick falling from the sky.

What would happen if Peter didn't show up? What would happen if he did? Would you actually break up with him? Would everything go perfectly?

You had no answer to your own questions. You couldn't predict the future and had no full idea of what you were gonna say and do in every of the possible outcomes.

But you knew something was going to happen. Rather that would be good or bad, you didn't know. Maybe he would show up, make you happy and fix everything. Or maybe he wouldn't show up, and he would break you even more. You obviously hoped for him to fix your relationship, but to be real; you had no hope in that happening. You expected the worst, which just sadly also happens to be the most realistic.

You got to the restaurant, found your table, and started waiting. A few minutes passed and you ordered a glass of water.

A few minutes turned into 10.

10 turned into 15.

You were counting the minutes, each one of them. And with each minute that went by, so did your tiny bit of hope, until none was left, and you finally stood up from your seat, and placed the water bill on the table. As you silently left, and walked through the doors, you shot MJ a quick text that read “guess who didn’t show up”.

You locked your phone, and saw your own reflection on the black screen. Even on the unclear image of yourself, it was clear you were sad, your eyes squinted slightly together as you were fighting the tears.

The street was very much the opposite of busy, only a few people walking along on the two sides. A quiet Saturday evening, one that you don’t happen to see often, especially not here in New York. The sound of cars from roads in the background could be heard, and the lampposts lit up the otherwise dark street, bringing a little bit of life to it.

“Y/n!” Your head shot up from the ground, at the sound of the familiar voice calling your name from behind you. You slowly turned around, and was met by your boyfriend – if you could even call him that – standing down the street in a dark blue dress-shirt, with a jacket on top.

You didn’t know what to do or say, so you just did the easiest; turned your back to him, and kept walking. Peter was quick to run towards you, as he kept calling your name, praying for you to stop and talk to him, instead of running away.

“Y/n, please.” He finally reached you, walking behind you, he softly reached out for your arm, to stop you from walking.

“You’re late.” You gave up running away from him, and finally stood still. Peter walked around you, so he stood in front of you, his eyes trying to find yours.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He told you genuinely. His one hand still lingered on your arm, and his other reached up to hold your chin with his thumb and index finger, lifting your chin up softly, your glossy eyes finally meeting his.

“You should have been here 15 minutes ago.”

“I really am sorry, but I’m here now, can’t we just go back to the restaurant?” he asked, looking into your eyes. “Please?”

"No, Peter!” You told him, raising your voice. The sudden change in your voice taking him aback. “You have stood me up five times now!

It wasn’t hard for Peter to see how hurt you were. Your voice on the verge of cracking, lips quivering, the corner of your eyebrows tilting upwards, and your eyes filled with tears. It broke Peter to see you like this, and knowing it was his fault didn’t help at all.

“Peter, I'm miserable.” You said, defeat taking over your voice. That was the one that hit him the hardest. Miserable. He never wanted you to feel that way, he loved you. As your boyfriend it was his job to make you feel loved, and he did the opposite.

“Y/n-” Peter started, but quickly stopped again as he realized he had no idea of what he even wanted to say, he just wanted you. “It’s my job at Stark that makes me late.” He tried reasoning, even though he knew it did no good.

“You always say that, but is it even true?” Peter looked at you confused, so you elaborated. “Is your job just an excuse to not see me?” He looked down at the ground, not bearing to look into your broken eyes, but he could still hear your voice; quiet and monotone, as if you were giving up on everything, which you were when it came to Peter.

You looked so defeated and broken, and it killed him to know that this was all his doing. If he had just told you the real reason for him being late, everything would be different, you would understand – at least he hoped you would –, if you knew what he really did when he was working, all of your questions would be answered.

“Do you not have anything to say?” Peter looked up into your eyes again, opening his mouth, waiting for something to come out, but it was silent, so he closed his lips together tight, and anywhere but into your eyes. When he didn’t say anything, you finished it all. You couldn’t do it anymore. “We should break up.” You told him, your eyes burning from all the tears.

“Y/n please-” His eyes instantly went to yours, and one of his hands graced over yours softly. His touch burning your skin more and more by every second that passed. His worst nightmare came true, and it was all his fault. His heart was aching and burning; tightening around itself. His airway felt like it was closing, and he was suffocating in his own air, not able to think clearly anymore.

“Peter no, it’s over, I can’t do this anymore.” You withdrew your hand from his, and as much it hurt for you to do, you turned your back to him, and started walking. Leaving him standing there in the middle of the street, and all he could do was watch you walk away from him.

Neither of you had ever felt a pain stronger than this one. But that is how love goes. The more you let someone into your heart, the easier it is to break it. Peter didn’t just break your heart, he also broke his own.

"I love you!" Peter then suddenly yells after you – before you turn around the corner –, in hopes of you to turn back around, and run into his arms. As if the simple three words were enough for him to make it up. He just wanted to be sure that you knew he loved you; cause he really did. At any other given moment you would melt at the words, but now they felt like knives to your back.

You looked at him from over your shoulder, and shook your head. "Don't give me that bullshit," you told him loud enough to hear from the distance. "If you really loved me, you would have shown up."

The words hitting Peter in realization. Actions speak louder than words. He wished he could have realized how your relationship was going sooner, and if he had, it wouldn’t have ended in this way. But he couldn’t change that. You had already left, and was now out of his sight.

He could run after you, but he knew it wouldn’t change a thing.

-❁-❁-❁-

The next couple weeks were weird, for both you and Peter. All contact between you two was gone, no calls, no messages, and you never spoke anymore. Though you still saw each other, considering you had some classes together. But you never spoke, you didn’t even share a quick glance of eye contact, not even when you passed him in the hall.

Just because you didn’t look directly into his eyes, didn’t mean you wouldn’t look at him. You had so many times found yourself gazing at him, at the most random times, and when you did, you always wondered what went wrong between the two of you. Still wondering over the real reason that Peter never showed up to your dates.

But you weren’t the only one finding yourself looking. Peter did the exact same, and even more often than you – if that was even possible – he just couldn’t help it. It was all his fault, and now he could only watch you from a distance. There wasn’t anything Peter wanted more than for you to take him back, if he just explained everything and said sorry, you would be happy again.

He missed you so bad, yet he did nothing to try and make everything better. He just watched you from a distance, quietly admiring all your features, thinking back to all your happy memories together.

As much as he loved you, he let you go, because he knew at one point you would find someone else that could make you happy. Someone that wouldn’t keep secrets from you, someone who would actually be there for you, and most importantly someone who wouldn’t break your heart. That’s what you deserved.

“Hey, look at me, not Peter.” MJ says bringing you back to reality, you turn your head, eyes focused on her instead of Peter.

“I should hate him,” you tell her. “Why do I not hate him?” You asked out loud, in sincere wonder. He broke your heart so bad, he left you crying at night, every night. Yet you couldn't hate him. You could only love him.

“Y/n, you deserve better. Someone who will be there, and I might know a guy.” She had tried for some time now, to help you move on, and convincing you to let Peter go. You knew she was right. But you didn’t like the idea of going out with someone who wasn’t Peter, it felt wrong.

“MJ, I don’t thi–” You started, but before you could deny her – yet again – she interrupted you.

“He’s from my economy class, and he’s really nice. Please just try going on a date with him. Just one date, then I will stop.”

“One date?”

“One date.” She confirms.

So there you were getting ready for a date, with a guy you hadn’t even met yet. You had no idea what to expect, or how to feel. You wanted to get over Peter, you really did, but your mind would always go back to him. Maybe the guy was really nice, but it wasn’t fair on him, not when you weren’t over your ex.

While you were finishing getting ready, Peter was out on patrol, swinging around New York, looking for crime to fight. He had always loved being Spiderman, and swinging around the beautiful city, but now after your break up, it had become a constant thing for him to do.

Most people would go on a walk, run or drive around to get their mind off things, and swinging was Peter’s way. So that’s what he did, all the time.

It had been a very quiet night, not much had happened. There was a small robbery, that Peter had quickly stopped with no mess done, and a few car thieves, but that was about it. He took another swing around, and then landed on a rooftop. As he looked down at the street filled with people, his eyes landed on one person; you.

He smiled to himself, adoring your features. But his face fell immediately, overtaken by a frown, when he realized you weren’t alone. You were walking next to a guy, your arm linked with his. Who was this guy, and why was he with you?

Curiously Peter watched the two of you as you were talking and laughing, Peter’s mind went straight to your laugh. It had been a long time since he had last heard it, yet he could imagine it clearly in his head, he could never forget such a beautiful sound.

As you walked into a restaurant, that’s when Peter realized what this was; a date. You were on a date, with someone who wasn’t him – not that you had been on many dates together anyway – but that had been his fault, and he knew that very well.

He hated himself for it. If he had done better, it would have been him, who was sitting opposite you right now. If he hadn’t kept secrets from you, he would be the one making you laugh and smile like that. As he watched you, Peter felt so many things at once.

Jealousy; jealous that another person took his spot, and made you happy. He wanted that to be him, not some random dude.

Sadness; sad about what had happened, how it had ended, and the thought of how he broke your heart. Sad about the fact that you had clearly moved on from him.

Anger; angry at himself for not being what you needed. Angry that he never told you, and that your relationship had gotten to the point it had. But mostly angry that he was the reason you broke up.

He could feel his eyes watering underneath his mask. His emotions became too much for him, and he couldn't bare looking at you anymore, it only hurt more. So he stood up and swung away, needing to get away.

-❁-❁-❁-

Peter knew what he had to do, and that was to explain everything to you. But not so you could forgive him, just so you could understand, that’s all he wanted, for you to understand, and hopefully not hate him. He had a little bit of hope that you could maybe be friends if he explained.

So the next day – which just happened to be a month after your break up – he put on his Spiderman suit, and swung over to your apartment. He knew you wouldn’t talk to him, so hopefully this would work.

On his way towards you, he practiced over and over again what he would say. And as he did he got more nervous by the second. What should he say? How would you react? Would you understand and forgive him? Or would you be even more mad about the fact that he kept this secret from you?

Before he could think about it anymore, he was next to your window. His heart was beating out of his chest, his hands sweating – which made it a little harder for him to stick to the side of the building – and he reconsidered if he really was going to do this. Maybe he should just swing away and forget it. But he did it anyway, closing his eyes and knocking on your window a few times.

He sees your hand reaching over to the window handle, and carefully opening the window. “Hello?” Your voice sounded, a bit shaken by what was happening. Peter then moved to your window, his red and blue suit in sight, and you stepped back from the window, as he slowly crawled through it.

Peter heard your heartbeat rising as he was standing in front of you, a shocked expression written all over your face. After a minute or two you opened your mouth, about to say something, but before you got the chance, Peter ripped off his mask in one swift motion, revealing the face that belonged to your ex.

“I never told you what I did for my job at Stark, because I didn’t want you to get hurt, but you ended up hurt anyway. I’m sorry I never told you.” You just closed your mouth again, as your mind ran miles, and your body completely froze. “Please say something.” Peter begged you.

“Then why are you here?” You finally got out.

“I saw you last night on a date with that guy, it just made me realize how bad I missed you. And I just needed to explain.”

“So this is why you never showed up?” He nodded, and everything was back to being silent between the two of you. You were still in somewhat shock, while Peter waited for you to say something, anything. He wanted to know what was going on inside your head, wishing he had the power to read minds. "He is actually a really nice guy. But I could never love someone as much as I love you" You tell Peter, looking into his soft and apologetic eyes.

Now you were the one to make Peter shocked. He engulfed you in a tight hug, his strong arms hugging you impossibly close to his body, and his head buried in the crock of your neck. “I love you, I’m so sorry for everything.” He told you as he pulled back and stared into your heart warming eyes, and he could feel a tear of happiness rolling down his cheek.

“I love you too.” He smiled lovingly at you before taking your face in his hands, and kissed you until you could hardly breathe. “Please don’t keep any more secrets from me.”

“I won’t.” He said and brought you in for another kiss.

—

– reblogs & comments means more than you think

—

Taglist:

@ladykxxx08 - @spideyspeaches - @whoeveniskendall - @lovehollandy12 - @petprker - @joselyn001 - @marajillana - @emsloveletters @sweetpeterparker - @wildholland - @badassbabeparker @thollandsdarling - @prancerrparkerr - @lover-of-bucky - @i-cant-read-benedict - @hqllandsxx - @darling-im-moonstruck - @hi-hihi-hi

#tshwritersnet #peter parker #peter parker fanfic #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker one shot #peter parker oneshot #peter parker angst #peter parker x y/n #tom!peter parker #tom!peter x reader

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idy-ll-ique · 3 years

Text

His Lovely Girl.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x F!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Requested: nope

Warnings: insecurity

Summary: Sebastian spoils her all the time. What has she ever done for him? When someone leaves a rude comment under her Instagram post, she can't help but rethink her entire relationship with the handsome actor.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! We're back to Marvel lol, enjoy!

---

"I'll see you later, dove, have fun!" Y/N grinned when her boyfriend leaned over, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Bye, Seb, I'll miss you," she whispered and he looked down at her, his heart swelling in his chest, full of appreciation for her. He loved her so much. "I'll miss you too, Y/N, but I'll only be gone for around 6 hours." Y/N pouted and he couldn't help it.

He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers in a chaste kiss. "I know. Go now, I don't want to be the reason you're late." He laughed heartily when she pushed him away with a smile. "Oh, doll, everyone knows about us, they'll know anyway." With that, he waved at her and left the apartment they shared. Y/N had moved in with him 2 years into dating.

Sebastian Stan; let's just say, he was a busy man. Y/N sighed and got up from the bed, feeling hungry. They had started dating 4 years ago, and what years those were; the most blissful ones in both their lives. They loved each other to death, and they knew that. Y/N waddled into the kitchen and looked around the various cabinets, finding a box of Mac and Cheese.

It was a funny story, actually, how they met. Y/N, at the time, was working as a barista at Starbucks. One day, Sebastian had walked into the Starbucks where she worked, and she was the one who took his order. He was extremely polite, funny and a bit awkward and just like that, she fell in love with him all over again. Y/N was a Marvel geek and Sebastian had noticed.

"I really like your hoodie, doll, where'd you get it?" he had asked her after telling her his order. And she had looked down, seeing the custom-made hoodie she wore. It was black in colour, but one of the sleeves was silver and had a red star on the bicep, just like his arm from the movie Captain America: Winter Soldier.

Bucky's trigger words were printed on the front of the hoodie. She had blushed furiously, simultaneously cursing and thanking her fate and coincidence. "I had it custom made," she had told him at the time and he had grinned so wide he thought his mouth would tear open. That was the moment where he, too, realized that he was getting a crush on the pretty barista.

And he hadn't hesitated to ask her for her number. He had taken a tissue paper, scribbled his number down and had written what's yours? ;) underneath. When he went to pay for his coffee, he purposely made sure that he wasn't giving her any change. With his notes, he slid her the tissue and she took it, giving him a confused look.

When she read it, her breath hitched. While pulling out his change, she had discreetly written her number down on the tissue, saved his on her phone and had given the tissue back to him with the coins. Both of them had grinned widely at each other when he left. While walking home, he had taken out the tissue and had seen her number written neatly under his. And his heart raced, Y/N is worth it.

---

*@yn_yln posted a photo*

4,583 likes

yn_yln Mac and Cheese, anyone? :D

Y/N smiled and logged out of her Instagram account after posting the photo. She just couldn't resist; she looked good that day, one of those days where she felt confident enough to post a picture. She kept her phone away and sauntered into the sitting room to watch something on the television. An hour passed before she yawned, feeling tired.

2:05 pm, her watch displayed. Well, there's no harm in an afternoon nap, am I right? Sebastian wasn't home anyway, and it's not like she had anything to do. Grabbing her phone off the dining table, she walked into hers and Sebastian's shared bedroom, plopping down on the bed. She decided to check her Instagram before falling asleep and opened the said app.

She went through the page that displayed all the likes and comments, pausing at one comment. Her heart dropped as she clicked on the comment, her entire being filling with an uneasy feeling. You're only dating him for the money, admit it. Until then, she had never even thought… about that. Throwing her phone to the side she sat up, breathing heavily.

Y/N was currently jobless. After they started going out, she continued working at Starbucks until last year; Sebastian had suggested that she leave the job and work somewhere better, earn a higher salary. Y/N had discarded the idea at first, since the job paid enough for her to go about her daily things and where would she even find another job?

Starbucks was okay. But Sebastian wouldn't hear it. So she left the job, now jobless. She had applied to a few places but hadn't received any news as of yet. They're right. I'm living off of him. I don't even have a job. What does it look like? A broke woman dating a rich, handsome guy? Oh my God, am I leeching off his hard work? All those thoughts rushed through her head in a span of a few seconds.

The more she thought about it, the more she teared up. Blinking the tears away, she lay back down and curled up under the comfortable blankets. His blankets. She closed her eyes, trying her hardest to fall asleep but the tears were proving it to be difficult. Fortunately, she drifted off into an uneasy slumber 15 minutes later.

---

"Baby, I'm home!"

Silence. Sebastian frowned, carefully walking into the house. "Y/N?" he called out but there was no answer. Keeping the bag he was holding away, he walked further into the apartment, stopping at the doorway of their bedroom. "Aw," he whispered under his breath, smiling, stepping into the bedroom. He gently sat next to his sleeping girlfriend.

His knuckles traced her cheeks but he froze. Why is she so cold? His soft touch was enough to wake her up, because she stirred and blinked up at him. "Seb, hi, welcome back." Her voice was hoarse. "Y/N? Did you fall sick?" he asked worriedly as she sat up, distancing herself from him. "I'm not sick," she muttered but Sebastian wouldn't buy it.

He reached out to cup her cheek, feeling like he had been stabbed multiple times when she leaned away from his touch. "Y/N?" She shook her head and looked out of the window, bringing her knees to her chest. "Just wanna be alone right now." She didn't want to send him away. She wanted to sit in his lap, listen to him rambling about his day…

But she also didn't want to be near him. Do I even deserve him? "What happened?" he insisted, his eyes going wide when she glared at him. "Go. Away." He scrambled off the bed without another word, softly closing the door behind him as he walked into the sitting room, running a hand through his hair. He sat down on the couch and looked around.

What happened in those 6 hours that he was away? Sebastian knew she wasn't on her cycle, it still had another week to come. So it wasn't mood swings. His eyes landed on the empty bowl of Mac and Cheese sitting on the dining table but they skimmed right past it, not knowing that that bowl was the reason for Y/N's sadness. Then he stared at the designer handbag on the opposite couch.

Picking up the bag, he strode back to their room, knocking on the door. Maybe seeing a pretty purse would lighten her mood? "What?" Y/N called out from inside and he opened the door, holding the purse up. "I brought you a gift." Y/N's heart started thudding in her chest and tears glistened in her eyes anew as she stared at the bag with utmost resentment.

"I don't want it."

Sebastian went rigid. She never rejects my gifts. "Y/N—" She started shaking her head. "No. Return it. I'm not taking it. I don't want it," she repeated, her glare now directed at him. "But doll…" he tried, freezing when her jaw clenched. "Get out." Disheartened, he walked out once more, more confused than anything. Now I have to know what happened.

Inside the room, Y/N sobbed silently. The bag was so pretty, her favorite color, the sleek design… she wanted to keep it so bad, but she knew she wasn't worthy of it. Sebastian brought her gifts all the time. Most of them expensive as shit; he had the money to blow off. What had she done for him? Nothing, really. He spoiled her heartily, never once allowing her to do the same.

"You're mine, baby girl, mine to love, mine to cherish, mine to spoil."

She was definitely leeching off him. Outside the room, Sebastian took out his phone and texted Y/F/N, who was Y/N's closest friend. They rarely spoke, but Y/N told Y/F/N everything and he knew she'd have answers.

hey, do you know what's up with y/n

why what happened

she's in a really bad mood

she's angry at me and I brought her a gift but she won't take it

she usually loves them but today…

OH WAIT

I know what happened

she texted me in the afternoon

something about a comment on Instagram or something

ig that's why she's in a bad mood

thanks

I'll check it out

He ended the conversation and opened Instagram, seeing a new post from his dear girlfriend. Sebastian couldn't help but smile as he liked the photo, commenting a heart emoji. There were only around 22 comments on the post, so he decided to go through them. Which comment had triggered her? He found it instantly and his nostrils flared.

Replying to the fairly rude comment, he typed, how about you fuck off and mind your own damn business? If you don't like her, unfollow and leave. There's literally nothing else you need to do. After hitting send, he kept his phone away and, determination shining in his eyes, ran back to the bedroom.

He threw open the door and a sob escaped the lips of the startled woman. He started taking off the annoying clothes he was wearing until he was just in his boxers, sliding into the bed next to her. She attempted to push him away but the strong man didn't budge, holding her on his lap as she thrashed. Soon, she gave up the fight and melted against him, crying her eyes out.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again and again, her breath hitching. "Hush, baby, it's okay, I'm not mad," he whispered, rubbing her back, helping her calm down. She rested her head on his shoulder, her arms tight around him. "Tell me the truth. What happened?" he asked even though he knew the answer. Tiredly, Y/N narrated everything; from the comment to all her insecurities.

Sebastian gently cupped her cheeks, wiping her tears off. "Y/N, you're mine. I love taking care of you, I love spoiling you, and I don't do it because I expect something in return, I do it because I love you. Don't listen to strangers on the internet, what better work do they have? Nothing but lowlifes. You don't have to do anything for me. I don't want you to do anything for me."

"But Seb…"

"No. No, you're my girlfriend and only the best for my girl. I love all the gifts you get me. I cherish them wholeheartedly. Just you being my girl is a gift better than anything else in the world, to be honest. But I'm going to continue looking after you whether you like it or not. You don't even have to go to work, I'm here for you. I love you." Y/N teared up again.

They were happy tears.

"I love you so much," she cried weakly and Sebastian pulled her to him, cradling her head, breathing her in. "I love you too, doll. Now will you take my gift, please?" She nodded against him and he gently lowered her on the bed, going outside to get the bag. Once back in their room he handed the bag to her, smiling at the way her eager hands reached up to accept the gift.

As he watched her admiring the bag, he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, till death do them part.

His girl, his lovely girl.

---

A/N: Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan characters #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier #disney #mcu #marvel #avengers #fanfic #writing #writeblr

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wizkiddx · 3 years

Text

your voice

angsty vibe, requested by @hollandlover19 than you for th rq and hop this doesn't disappoint too much :)))

summary: tom says something so stupid and has to deal with the consquences

warnings: a bit angsty, but ends in fluff! argumnts and raising voices, I guess could be associated with panic attacks tho not written with that intention

//////////////////////////////////

“Oh, Y/n er sorry.” Harrisons morning dulcet tones were what you were awoken to with a groan.

Everything was achy, and your head was pounding, making you grumble in discontent as you shifted uncomfortably on the technically too-small-to-sleep-on sofa.

This was not the morning you’d foreseen even 12 hours ago.

Lockdown had been difficult for everyone, even removing the tragic health crisis. Being locked in with your boyfriend and his brothers and friends was, for the most part, amazing. Lots of laughs, lots of beers and lots of quality time that you usually didn’t get. But it was also intense.

Without a doubt, since you first got together, this was the longest time you’d ever had with Tom. And it had been brilliant, your relationship getting so much closer and just learning the subtlest intricacies about the other. In fact, when lockdown had been announced, you’d never lived together (the most a week-long holiday).

Though it was also like a pressure cooker, Toms rented house. When one of you were in an understandable but stubborn lousy mood, it affected the whole house.

Yesterday night had been the perfect storm. The weather was unbelievably scorching; your work had announced that they had to let some staff go because of the financial implications of the pandemic; a ‘mole’ had released personal details of your relationship.

And it was like a pot on the stove; everything went from controllable to violently boiling over in a matter of minutes.

Honestly, you didn’t even know why you had started arguing - it was that pathetic. And yet you’d both said pretty horrible stuff - though it was Tom who had crossed the line. Frankly, the way he’d spoken to you was almost unforgivable.

You’d both known instantly too, all his anger at you had immediately evaporated when he’d realised what he had said. It took no time for him to become a grovelling apologetic mess, however even that- it was already too late.

It might sound feeble, but honestly, you’d run and locked yourself in the downstairs loo. You’d cried on the inside- whilst from the other side of the door, he had been begging and pleading with you.

After an hour though, Tom finally gave up - hence why you’d had a pretty uncomfortable night on the sofa.

This brings it back to Harrison, the early riser of the house, barrelling into the living room after his morning run. All bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, except also slightly terrified looking as he stood awkwardly in the doorway.

“I’m up now” You sighed, dragging yourself into a sitting position on the sofa whilst massaging your crooked neck.

“You er…. you fell asleep watching the TV?” Rolling your eyes, you sighed at the blonde, even if his poor acting was a little entertaining.

“Are we both pretending that you don’t know what went down last night?” Of course, Harrison knew. The walls were thin, you’d been screaming and he was Tom’s best friend. No doubt, Tom had immediately gone to him for help and advice last night.

Harrison held his hands up in response, caught in the act, and clicked his tongue. “What he said was bad. You shouldn’t be the one ending up with the sore back.” He wasn’t wrong.

“And yet here I am…” With a sigh you smiled which he returned with a sickeningly empathetic one “Anyway, don’t let my sad self get in the way, did you come in here for anything?”

Now, because Harrison was mentally a five year old, that’s how you ended up sat crossed-legged on the floor, clutching a wii remote and angrily shouting at yoshi on the mariokart screen. The whole household was competitive as hell and you were no exception - so some rouge elbows were flying when he viciously knocked you off the track.

Slowly Harry and Tuwaine filtered in and picked up remotes too, so the quiet morning was very quickly switched into a tense atmosphere of yelps and shouts. None more so than Tuwaine, who was possibly the worst looser you had ever met.

Really, you knew all the boys were only doing this as there way of showing you they were with you. That they also thought Tom was a massive raging dickhead. And you appreciated it more than they would ever know. Locked down in Toms house, very much not mutual ground, having three stupid boys behind you meant everything.

Just as you got on to the 18th and final race of the house’s mario grand prix, another voice cut across the tense silence as you waited for the coutdown to turn into ‘go’. Naturally, you flipped round to see Tom, looking as though he literally just rolled out of bed with puffy eyes and messy hair and no top. The sight made your heart flutter, to the point you had to consciously check yourself - refusing to smile softly at him like you usually would, instead narrowing your eyebrows and looking back at the TV.

Tom had so desperately hoped that when he came down this morning, everything would be better. That all it’d take would be a quiet conversation for the two of you to make up - for him to have you in his arms again. Primarily as he had heard your excited laugh echoing through the halls in reactions to Tuwaines yelps of protests - it made him hopeful. Waking up to a cold and empty bed was almost soul-crushing this morning. He did not want it to ever happen again.

Which is why his heart sank so much when all you gave him was a scolding look, before turning your attention to the TV. Admittedly, he was naive to think that what he’d done last night would be an easy fix - he knew it too. So with dropping shoulders, Tom silently took a seat on the sofa, watching from afar. You spent the rest of the race more absent, not joining in with the Harrison or Harrys trash-talking, acutely aware of Tom’s eyes burning the back of your head.

Then came Harry’s celebrations as the overall winner (only just) and when Harrison suggested another game Tom piped up again.

“Give me a turn Harry.”

The three boys kneeling next to you all stiffened, looking immediately to you for what seemed like consent - as if they were engaging with the enemy. (At least it was good to know everyone was on your side).

“I’m gonna go prepare for my meeting anyway.” You spoke quietly, already placing the remote on the floor and standing up.

“Y/n I don’t mind swappin-“

“No. Thanks, H but no.” You weren’t being selfless and giving Tom a turn. You were running away from seeing him.

And Harrison was still really angry at Tom. He’d been so selfish and insensitive and had hurt you- someone who Haz also cared a lot about too. Yes Tom was his bestmate, that he’d grown up with and known for years - but Haz really liked you too, in fact all the boys did. So they were almost as pissed with Tom as you were.

So while you threw the cushion you were sat on back on the floor, Harrison shot Tom the filthiest look and practically shooed him away.

“come on Y/n … just one more? Then you can do your boring work.” You were about to refuse when Haz tilted his head toward the door, only then noticing that Tom had slipped out the room. Now that he was gone ,yes, just one more wouldn’t hurt. The meeting prep wasn’t time pressured; it was an excuse for an escape.

Tuwaine whooped a little when you nodded, planting back down and ready for the first race. Yet apart from that, the room was still a little awkward, you being the first to break the silence.

“Actually Haz, would you mind giving me a lift today?”

“What to the shops?

“Um no not quite.” Tuwaine laughed in his usual innocent and infectious style before asking more.

“Seriously? You know we’re locked down? Boris won’t be happy if you going mad and leaving the house.”

“Just to Y/f/n’s. She lives on her own so it’s legal.”

“She lives just down the road right? Can’t you walk?” Harry was confused, making him look away from the screen, ultimately leading to his ‘diddykong’ falling off the track.

“I’ll have my bags. I um… I think I’m going to stay with her till lockdown eases more.”

As soon as you said that, Harry pressed pause on the race, all three boys looking at you mouth-opened.

“For real?”

“Yeh I um… think me and Tom need some time apart and being locked in isn’t helping.”

“I’m not saying to forgive and forget what he said… but he is really sorry.”

“The twats literally kicking himself.” Tuwaine added, making you smile a little for calling Tom that.

“I know just… I need some space and-“

“Are you breaking up?” Harry almost announced, cutting you off. He would miss you too.

“No! Nono I … well I don’t know. I just- we both need this.”

The boys all nodded, looking at the floor for a moment before Harrison’s blue eyes were back on you.

“Course I’ll drive, but… but I’ll miss you.”

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You’d left merely an hour later, whilst Tom was holed up in the garden doing what looked like an almost unbearable work out. It meant he was also out your hair and you could throw all your stuff into two suitcases without him being any the wiser. It was probably pretty cowardly to leave without speaking to him, but you couldn’t. It would hurt too much and you didn’t want to break down in front of him. No doubt as soon as you had got to Y/f/n you did - into a blubbering mess of tears - but Tom hadn’t seen so it was okay.

Speaking of. Tom.

Tom was not in a good way at all. He’d been trying really hard to curb his’ short fuse’ lately- all of which had been well and truly blown in the past 4 hours. After finally being realised from meetings, which he’d not been able to concentrate on anyway, Tom had mentally prepared himself for a lot of grovelling. Once he’d vaguely hunted the house and not found you there, he naturally asked Harry and Tuwaine (both of whom were in the living room) if they’d seen you around.

It was a typical question, the answer he was expecting was that you’d just gone on your daily walk. And yet the response he got was… well a lot more confusing. Harry’s eyes widened whilst T did his awkward-uncomfortable chuckle, the two locked in an intense bout of eye contact. It was as though they were arguing with each, but through the powers of telekinesis... and it put Tom on edge. He was already stressed because you were so angry with him, so not getting a clear answer out of his brother and best mate - lets just say it tested his patience.

“You two need to tell me what the hell is going on right now.”

The two boys both looked panicked to speak to him, which was the opposite of the usual situation. They were some of the ONLY people in his life that would just say it how it is, no sugar coating. Like if he was away and being ‘famous’ was getting to his head; or if he wore the wrong pair of jeans. Even yesterday evenings events, they’d both called him out on what he’d said to you.

So why the silence?

Eventually, it was Harry who spoke up, but in doing so, practically just waved all responsibility on to another innocent party.

“Ask Haz.”

And then Tom knew. He knew this was bad. Immediately his heart was pumping at an alarmingly fast rate, taking the stairs two at a time and not bothering to knock before bursting the door open.

“Where’s Y/n?”

Harrison was reclined back on his haphazardly made bed, laptop balanced on his lap as he looked up with a sigh. He’d known this conversation was coming, but it didn’t make it any less easy. With a sigh, Haz closed the lid of his MacBook and sat up on the bed.

“Tom just-“

“Where. Is. She.”

“She’s gone to Y/f/n’s.”

“Oh… okay.” Suddenly Tom’s voice was muted, thinking he might’ve blown his top at nothing. This wasn’t weird - Y/f/n was in your support bubble and you went to hers often.

Tom was grossly underestimating the situation - and Harrison heard didn’t fancy stringing him along though.

“No like gone. She um… she took all her stuff. I think she’s going to stay there till-“

Tom was already out his room at that point, slamming the door as he did so. Making a beeline for his own room, Tom then frantically started to pull out the draws and rummage around the shelves, confirming what he already knew. Your clothes were gone, your toothbrush and toiletries were gone, you were gone.

It’s important to note Tom didn’t really cry all that much. Or if he did - it was more inconsequential, at a sad movie or one of the rescue dog stories from battersea. Actually, when it came down to it, he didn’t really cry.

Now though, it was impossible to ignore the burning of his eyes, as he sank down onto the bed that now felt twice the size. With ragged breath, he repeatedly fisted his eyes, not actually letting the tears fall - but it was impossible to not acknowledge their presence. Harrison stood wordlessly at the door frame, knowing it best not to interrupt - whilst at the same time knowing Tom shouldn’t be left alone. There was a delicate balance between the two, which he was walking on a knife-edge on right now.

After a short while, Tom looked up with red eyes and nodded at Harrison, effectively granting him entrance. With a sigh once again, Haz moved and sat next to Tom on the bed, clasping his hands together nervously.

“She said you both just needed a break from each other. Think lockdown and everything was just a bit too intense.” Haz had tried to explain, yet it seemed Tom had only managed to lock onto one of the first words.

“A break? Or breaking up?”

“I uhm… she didn’t explicitly say ending things. But I just… I don’t know to be honest mate.”

“You see the way she looked at me this morning? Like she hated me. Wouldn’t even acknowledge that I was there.”

“I don’t know what to say… she needs time and space I think.” Tom was silent for a beat, shaking his head as he cradled his forehead.

“I hate the fact you and my girlfriend are on better terms than I am.” Anddd his voice was back to scathing.

“I’m not on anyones side. But your both my friends and she… she needed some time.”

With that, Harrison made a quick exit out, getting Harry to take over the Tom supervision.

Ever since the atmosphere in the house had been tense. To say Tom was highly strung was an understatement, particularly towards Harrison. Deep down he was thankful Haz was looking out for Y/n: he was glad that Haz was checking she was okay. It’s not like Tom could, because Y/n was refusing to answer his calls, texts, whatsapps, even the slip of paper he’d slipped under Y/f/n’s door in the middle of an especially dark night.

So it was good to know Y/n was okay, but the fact she was going on socially distanced walks with the rest of his housemates was rubbing salt in the wound.

After a week and a half of complete radio silence on your end Tom had utterly worn down. He didn’t have the emotional capacity to be angry anymore, he was just tired. Tired of missing you with every breath, tired of the ten-tonne weight of guilt pressing on his chest, fucking exhausted with being angry at Haz and Harry and Tuwaine.

The best thing in his life and one of the very limited opportunities was quality time with the people he loved more than anything else. He had ruined it all.

And it was the small things. It was waking up to your soft, whispered voice in the morning; it was your infectious giggle when he surprised you with a hug from behind and gentle kisses to your neck; it was your quiet singing in the shower. Especially when he knew Haz, Harry and Tuwaine were all still seeing you and laughing with you. It hurt like hell.

Which is how he ended up hesitantly knocking on Harrison’s bedroom door at half eleven at night, with his tail between his legs. Having been so uber-healthy all lockdown, Haz was already in bed following his sleep cycle, though for Tom right now- he would be awake.

“I’m um… I’m sorry I’ve been a knob. There’s no excuse of anything I’ve just… I’ve been a knob.”

“You’re not wrong.” Harrison nodded in agreement with a sly smile, motioning for Tom to come into the room, after which he perched on the edge of the bed.

“I just… I need to speak to her but I… I don’t want to push her if she’s still hurting and I…”

“You absolutely promise not to blow your fuse? Because she couldn’t handle that.” Tom’s eyes widened, thinking this would be a much harder pitch than how it seemed to be going.

“Yesyesyes i- I promise. I just, I feel broken you know? Even if all I get is the time to say sorry, I-I really need to.”

Harrison released a deep breath, nodding slowly before throwing the covers off himself. Tom watched all his movements with a curious gaze, silently sitting as Haz pulled on a hoodie, then socks too.

“Well? Let’s go.”

//////////////////

Now, what Tom had not in the slightest bit been prepared for was this to happen tonight. Really, he hadn’t even thought Harrison would agree to let him talk to you… and even if he had, Tom not in hell thought it’d be at 11:30 that evening.

His heart was thundering in his chest, trying to hurriedly script how on earth he was going to apologise meaningfully to you - as him and Haz walked the short distance to your friends house. Honestly the whole situation was peculiar to Tom - finding it hard to believe that if you weren’t to answer his texts you wouldn’t be open to an in person conversation.

What Tom didn’t know, was how you’d been texting Haz at a similar point of desperation. You weren’t happy and even given everything Tom had said and acted - you missed your boy. No matter how infuriating he could be when trapped 24/7 - you’d quickly learnt this was the only way you wanted to spend these weird times.

So yes, Tom’s best friend knew you were hardly sleeping either, but needed that little push to interact with you boyfriend. No doubt, you’d still be awake to answer the door.

Once he’d arrived at the apartment block and walked up the stairs to the right floor, it still took some prodding and pushing from Harrison to get Tom to knock on the door. Plainly, because he was shitting himself. Haz hadn’t given him enough pre warning, enough time to work it all out in his head. So it took another encouraging nod from Harrison for him to knock on the slightly rough-round-the-edges flat door.

Y/f/n was single and young, starting her career in Kingston - so the flat she could afford was modest at best. When it was just occupied by a single person, that was manageable - two was a push. You’d only been living with her for a week and a few days but it was enough to know this flat was not ideal for two people in lockdown. You were already stepping on each others toes. It also wasn’t technically legal to move households but Y/f/n had always been in your support bubble as a single household otherwise. And so there was also a layer of guilt to it all.

Naturally then, sharing a bed with someone who wasn’t Tom meant you just were not sleeping. Even if you had both gone to bed early (just to kill some hours in the day) you were still wide awake at quarter to twelve - when a timid knock echoed through the minuscule apartment. Curiosity peaked at who the hell would be calling now; you silently slipped out of bed, managing to not disturb Y/f/n, and closed the bedroom door.

Now you weren’t an idiot. Even though this was southwest london, hardly the capital for crime, Y/f/n lived in a dodgy building with some questionable characters. And it was midnight. Hence why you approached the situation cautiously, tiptoeing to the door and waiting with your ear pressed against the wood.

“I told you she wouldn’t answer!”

“She will! Might just be in the loo or something.”

“Haz this is stupid-“

The air in your chest froze when you immediately recognised the smooth tone of his voice. It was him… and you’d missed that so much. Already there were tears in your eyes and you couldn’t open the door just yet. So no, instead you slid down the doorframe before calling quietly out into the night.

“Tom?”

The bickering on the otherside of the door was silenced, but you heard a quite tap on the door... and could envision exactly what was going on. Tom, pressing both palms and his ear to the door, as Harrison took a few steps back - sensing his work was done.

“Y/n? You there?” He sounded desperate, you could hear the emotion dripping off his voice. It was only when you tried to reply did you realise your own voice was having a harder time speaking.

“Yeh its-its me.” It felt as though this heavyweight that had been pressing down on your chest was slowly lifting, making your voice all cracky and low.

In response, there was a short and sharp exhale. It sounded relieved before some fidgeting as you imagined him crouching down beside the door - mirroring your image.

“Fuck, it… it feels so good to hear your voice.”

“Yours too… I’ve-i’ve missed you.”

Tom snorted at that, a gentle bang allowing you to realise he’d just whacked his head on the back of the wood.

“You have no idea how this week felt.” He was wrong though, you did.

Yes, maybe without the insurmountable guilt that Tom was rightfully feeling, but it didn’t mean that the time apart wasn’t easy.

“I do. This hasn’t been a nice holiday for me you know?”

He sighed, knowing that yet again he’d said the wrong thing. This time though, he didn’t rebut instantly (which surprised you), instead his response was more measured and calculated.

“I am so sorry. And of course, I know because I was the one that hurt you too. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that.” You nodded but given this conversation was happening through a door Tom didn’t see your gentle agreement - opting to fill the silence.

“I um… I’m not good at this whole um… speaking my feelings. But I’ve hated myself ever since I picked that fight with you. It was stupid and uh it-it was all my fault. I’m so so sorry for hurting you.”

“‘Why?” You tried to ask, except the words were stuck in your throat, making you have to clear it before asking again. “Why did you say it?”

“To get a rise out of you. It’s stupid and petty and fucking-fucking dumb. I said it not because I’ve ever thought it, I never ever have, but I knew it’d hurt you. I was preying on your insecurities because I was angry at the world and that was so unfair. “

“No shit.”

Silence reigned as you fiddled with your fingers - specifically with the promise ring he’d bought you a year ago.

“You-you think you could ever forgive me?”

“Thats the annoying part. I want to hate you because you literally stabbed me then twisted the knife but… but all I’ve done this week is miss you. Even when I saw Haz or Harry or Tuwaine. I just fucking missed you.”

“Can you open the door please love?”

Clumsily you scrubbed the tear tracks off your face, scrabbling to your feet so you could thrust open the doors. Because you might still be bloody pissed at him, but at the same time - you needed your Tom. Thrusting the door open, the first thing you registered was being pressed into Tom’s chest. His arms slinked around your waist and held him tight, which you reciprocated, squeezing tightly round his neck. Your senses were all being assaulted by one thing and one thing only. Tom.

He smelt like usual, except maybe the slightest bit stronger than usual - you figured he hadn’t showered in a day or two or bothered with cologne. The top of your forehead was pressed up against his chin, and as he readjusted his grip on you, you felt the scratchy feeling of his unshaven stubble. He kept whispering apologies against the top of your head, almost desperate and religiously.

Arching back, you brought both hands to cup his cheeks, looking into his glassy brown. eyes, which looked so lost and confused.

“I’m still angry.”

“Of course-“

“I’m still angry but I’m going to kiss you okay?”

Safe to say Tom didn’t require a verbal response, taking it upon himself to nudge his lips against yours, yet waiting for you to initiate the kiss. And that you did, everything else about this godforsaken week and a half. His index finger traced the angle of your jaw, whilst he held your lower back tight, pressing himself as close as physically possible to you. Needing you.

Eventually arching back, your thumb ran over his deep and sunken under-eyes, which added so much age to his face.

“You look tired Tommy.”

“Can’t sleep without you telling me goodnight.” That was another tradition you had had. Even when he was away, you’d even set an alarm for whatever bedtime was for the other across the world. Just so you could send a little message or voice not saying goodnight. Was it cringey? Yes. Did either of you care? No.

But since you’d been away all the evening wishes were absent from you. Which hurt Tom more than you may ever know.

“I know you’re still angry but will you please come home to me? I need you to be the last thing I hear at night and the first thing in the morning.”

would love to hear any feedback <333 (but think this is a bit of a shitter so im sorry!!!)

tagging: @lovehollandy12 @pandaxnienke @thegirlwiththeimpala @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @hollandlover19 @hunnybunimdun @crossyourpeter @thefernandasantana@hallecarey1

#tom holland x you #tom holland angst #tom holland x y/n #tomholland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #harry holland

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davidpastrsnack · 4 years

Text

it’s crazy what you’ll do for a friend - nolan patrick

a/n: here’s a friends to lovers 4+1 with our fav boy loosely inspired by daddy issues by the neighbourhood. but there’s still a splash of smut because you know me lol. hope you enjoy :)

word count: 10.5k

The first time you met Nolan you didn’t know what to think. He was polite, giving you a gentle smile and reaching out to shake your hand, but you couldn’t help but fixate on how quiet he was and his seeming lack of emotion.

Regardless of your hesitation, that was the first time of many that Nolan took care of you.

You were new to Philadelphia, moving to continue your education and expand your horizons. You had always been one to play it safe, to stay in your comfort zone, but after having your heart broken and being unexpectedly accepted to one of the top graduate programs in your field you knew it was time to challenge yourself and leave behind everything you had ever known.

Well, almost everything, aside from Aubrey, one of your best friends since that first day of kindergarten so long ago. She worked in the city, practically begging you to join her when she found out you were considering the move. Just weeks later, the second bedroom in her apartment became yours and that’s how you met him.

one

It was only your third night in Philly and you were still unpacking, a glass of wine sitting on your dresser as you dug through the remaining boxes that were seemingly never-ending. It didn’t seem like this much stuff when you were packing it, but here you were overwhelmed with all of your belongings.

You were humming along to the music, taking it one box at a time as the room slowly came together when you heard a knock on your door.

“Come in,” you called, turning to face the door.

“Woah,” Aubrey muttered, “How’s it going in here?”

“I know, I know,” you laughed, “It looks bad but I’m almost there.”

She nodded, stepping into the room and sitting on your bed, “Time for a break?”

You knew what the hopeful smile on her face meant, she had plans for the two of you.

You looked at her with hesitant eyes and she chuckled, remembering how well you knew her.

“I was thinking we could go meet some of my friends?” Aubrey continued, “I’m kind of seeing this one guy and his friends are great. They’re a lot but I think you’ll love them and they’ll love you.”

“Aubrey, I-” You paused, “I really should finish up in here.”

“Come on, Y/N, we have all day tomorrow to finish and you need a break. I feel like I’ve barely even seen you and it’s been three days.”

You let out a laugh at her words, she was right. It felt like your life had been on hold for so long but now you had the opportunity to start fresh, to put yourself out there in a world that had no existing opinions of you.

“Fine,” you groaned, standing up from your spot on the hardwood, “But you have to help me find something to wear.”

“Deal!” Aubrey exclaimed, dragging you out of the room and into her own to go through her closet.

Just over an hour later, you were squeezed into a booth of the bar surrounded by men almost twice your size. Aubrey failed to mention that the guy she was seeing, but not dating as she vehemently claimed, was a Flyer and so were his friends.

You didn’t know what to expect from the group, but it didn’t take long for you to conclude that they were sweethearts, especially Travis, Aubrey’s “friend.” After introducing you to each of them, it felt like you had always been a part of the gang.

The beer and conversation were flowing, the bellowing laughs coming from the table practically feeling the air of the entire bar. You quickly fell into the banter, fitting in right away after growing up with brothers.

“There he is!” You suddenly heard Kevin shout from next to you, “Took you long enough, Patty.”

You looked up from your drink to see the man you could only assume to be Patty, his tall frame towering over you as you sat on the edge of the booth. He was dressed in all black, and his hair was long and frankly, unkempt as it curled around his ears. Even in the dim light of the bar, you could make out his light eyes, the blue piercing you as he finally met your gaze from his seat directly across from yours.

“Nolan, this is my friend Y/N,” Aubrey started, “She just moved in with me.”

Nolan reached out his hand across the table which you happily met, secretly hoping he couldn’t feel how clammy you had gotten since he walked in. He softly smiled as your hands touched, the corners of his mouth barely lifting but just enough.

“Nice to meet you,” he mumbled.

“You too,” you replied, flickering your eyes to the other end of the table before you caught yourself staring.

You were right away distracted by something Travis was chirping Claude for from this morning’s practice, but something about the man sitting just a few feet away from you was still consuming your thoughts.

You were pretty sure he had already decided that he didn’t like you. He had barely said a word aside from his initial pleasantries, but from then on it was almost like he wasn’t even acknowledging your presence. You didn’t know why you even cared, but there was something about his presence that made you on edge.

“I’m going to get another one,” you blurted out, everyone’s attention shifting to you.

“I’ll come with,” Aubrey declared.

“I’m good, stay,” you responded, giving her a knowing look. She was practically sitting in Travis’s lap, her hands wrapped around his neck while his eyes were stuck on her like she was the only one in the room. Not dating, my ass, you thought to yourself.

You slid off the cushion and headed towards the bar, the air already feeling lighter the further away from the group you got. You loved them, they were great, but it was just so much new at once. You needed a breather.

It was a packed Friday night and you knew it would be a while before you got your drink, so you sat down on the first available stool you saw. You caught the bartender's attention right away, but she was clearly swamped. You sent her a reassuring nod, telling her to take her time. She smiled right back at you, evidently grateful for your patience.

After what felt like barely a minute of waiting, you felt a body slide next to yours, the scent of cheap cologne overwhelming you as you braced yourself for what was about to happen.

“Hi there,” he spoke, leaning his weight against the bar top as he boxed you in.

“Hi,” you sighed. To put it simply, you were not in the mood.

“You got a name?”

“I do,” you chuckled in disbelief, turning your body away from his as your eyes scanned the room for anyone familiar. Which of course there wasn’t.

“A snappy one, alright,” he spoke, his hot breath fanning over your neck, “Well I’m Brett, what are you drinking?”

“Nothing,” you snapped.

“Oh c’mon, let me buy you a drink,” he continued, either not picking up on your hints or purposely ignoring them.

“I’m really all set.”

Just before he was about to open his mouth to speak once again, you felt his hand rest flat against your back, your body arching away from him immediately at the contact.

“Do not fucking touch her.”

The deep voice echoed in front of you, your vision clouded as your mind raced in a million directions.

“Listen, man, I got this.”

“No, I don’t think you do,” you heard, the vibrations of his voice running straight through your body.

Nolan.

You may have just met him, but that was a body and voice you couldn’t forget.

You had no idea what overcame you, but before you could process what you were doing you wrapped your arms around his torso. Nolan immediately reciprocated, his arm falling across your shoulders and pulling you close to his frame.

“Just leave,” Nolan asserted, “Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be. It’s already embarrassing enough that you can’t take no for an answer.”

Your body relaxed against his, Nolan’s words calming your worst fears right away. From your vantage point, you assumed Nolan easily had at least six inches and thirty pounds on him. That seemed to be enough for him, backing away with a faulty glare and disappearing into the crowd.

“Nolan, I-” you stuttered, not knowing what to say, “Thank you,” you finally got out, your voice barely loud enough to hear over the hum of voices.

“Don’t mention it,” he muttered, his aura still cold.

You were so caught up in the shock of the moment that you hadn’t realized you were still holding each other, and right away you dropped your arm from his waist. Nolan did the same, awkwardly moving to sit on the stool next to you and flag the bartender.

You missed the warmth of his body right away, the spicy scent of his skin in stark contrast to the Axe you could only assume the other one was wearing. You swore you could still feel the ripple of his abs beneath his t-shirt on your fingertips. It was silent for a minute, both of you trying to come up with the right words.

“I really can’t thank you enough. Let me buy this round,” you pleaded, your eyes locking with his.

“Y/N,” Nolan started, your face flushing as your name fell from his lips, “I’m buying.”

You smiled up at him, nodding before looking back down in hopes of hiding the flush you felt creeping up your neck and onto your cheeks.

“Can I be honest, Nolan?” You questioned.

“Shoot.”

“Do you not like me? Did I do something? I wasn’t expecting that from you of all people-” you rambled until Nolan cut you off.

“First of all, I would have done that even if I hated you. But no, I like you, Y/N. A friend of a friend of TK’s is a friend of mine.”

You laughed at the last part before you could even process the first. Nolan’s cheeks went red, clearly embarrassed at his cliché phrasing but it didn’t matter how badly he made a fool of himself as long as you were smiling. The way your eyes scrunched and your nose turned up while you laughed was enough to make him forget the day he had.

Your laughter was interrupted by your drinks, the woman leaving you with a knowing smile before she turned away. Nolan and you both stood up ready to head back to the table before he stopped you.

“Friends?” He asked, putting his hand out in front of himself.

“Friends,” you agreed with a grin, shaking his hand before walking back to the group together.

two

You dreaded first days.

No matter how old you got, the anxiety of walking into an unfamiliar room full of unfamiliar faces never lessened. But you were ready, you reminded yourself, putting your head up and walking to the classroom like you had been there a hundred times before.

By the time you were walking out after the 90 minutes were up, your heart was pounding and you could feel the tears pricking the back of your eyes as you ran out of the building, not even bothering to introduce yourself to anyone.

The walk from the university back to your apartment was a blur. You couldn’t believe you had made such a poor first impression. You thought you were prepared, you had your notebook ready and all the right textbooks in order, but you somehow missed that there was an assignment due on the very first day.

As you rushed through the busy streets of the city, dodging people left and right, your mind raced back to that room.

“Ms. Y/L/N, can you please give your thoughts on the first case study?” Your professor questioned, intently watching you as your panic set in.

Your heart began to race and your palms sweat as you struggled to find the words to say that you hadn’t done the reading. This had never happened to you before, you were an A+ student for your entire life, almost unhealthily so. You couldn’t remember the last time you had missed an assignment, it just wasn’t something you did.

“Alright, then. Anyone else who actually checked the syllabus have something to say?”

Your professor's words were stuck in your head, playing over and over again when you finally reached your building. Now that you were so close to being in the comfort of your own space you could feel your wheels spinning, the stress and emotion overtaking your body.

Your hands shook as you tried to unlock the door, your body pushing through the threshold when you finally got it open.

“Aubrey?” You called as you walked through the hallway. She had known you for so long and always knew what to do to calm you down. But instead of Aubrey’s bright voice welcoming you back, you were met with silence.

“Where are you?” You muttered under your breath, your voice shaking as the tears threatened to spill over any second. As you turned the corner into the living room, you found three bodies spread across the couch, none of whom belonged to Aubrey.

“Oh,” you sputtered out, surprised to see Travis, Kevin, and Nolan watching a game.

“Y/N!” Travis called out, his infectious smile almost making your tight-lipped frown fade, “Aubrey just ran out for something but she should be back soon.”

You could feel Nolan’s gaze burning into you. You did your best to avoid his eye contact in hopes of hiding your current state from him. He had been nothing but kind to you, but you still felt so exposed standing in front of him, suddenly insecure about your outfit.

“I’m just going to go,” you whispered, pointing down the hall to your room. You felt horrible just ignoring them like that, but you knew you didn’t have it in you to keep up with them right now.

Your bag fell out of your hands almost instantly as soon as the door to your room clicked shut, the sound of your laptop hitting the hardwood floor making you cringe. You collapsed on your bed face first, the emotion you had been holding back for what felt like forever overwhelming you. Your body wracked in sobs as you replayed your embarrassment in a seemingly endless loop.

Nolan knew something was wrong the second he saw you. He may have only met you just a few days ago, but after growing up with two sisters he recognized the signs right away. He had no idea what was wrong, but he did know that you were barely holding it together.

Your head snapped up when you heard a series of soft knocks on your door, “Aubrey?” You asked, your voice rising with hope.

“No, uh, it’s Nolan.”

Your face fell when you heard his deep voice through the wood. You barely knew Nolan, he couldn’t see you like this. You paused for a moment wondering if he would just leave if you didn’t respond, but you could see his shadow through the bottom crack of your door, his feet were planted and didn’t show any signs of moving any time soon.

You silently groaned and picked yourself up, not even bothering to look in the mirror before opening the door because you knew it was not going to a pretty sight regardless. You hastily wiped underneath your eyes, the black of your mascara flaking right off your tear-stained skin. This wasn’t exactly how you wanted the new boy in your life to see you right after meeting you, but you just were friends, right?

“What, Nolan?” You sighed when you finally opened the door.

You didn’t mean to be so stark, but it just came out. His presence overwhelmed you just like it had at the bar a few nights ago. He was leaning against the door frame with his hands tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. The backward hat resting atop his head flattered him perfectly, drawing attention to the tufts of his brown hair curling around his ears and neck.

Nolan stood up straight as soon as he saw you, his eyes softening when his suspicions were confirmed: you had been crying.

“I just wanted to check on you,” he mumbled, his eyes never leaving your own.

The tension in your shoulders released as you looked up at him. He didn’t say anything else, just tilting his head down towards you as he continued to scan your face for any signs of how you were feeling. You couldn’t pinpoint it, but there was something about Nolan that made you feel so safe, so secure, like as long as you were with him you could avoid your demons.

“I’m fine,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

“No you’re not,” Nolan rebutted, raising his eyebrows as if he was challenging you to lie to him again.

You didn’t say anything, but rather you moved your body to the side and ushered him into your room. Nolan happily obliged, awkwardly standing as he took in his surroundings. Your room was just as he expected, it was minimal, just like his. You didn’t like clutter, everything had a place. It was one way you tried to control the chaos that was your life.

“You can sit,” you spoke, breaking the silence.

Nolan nodded and sat next to you at the foot of the bed. You couldn’t help but let your eyes trail along his leg, the way his thighs stretched the fabric of his sweatpants making your cheeks flush.

“It was my first day at this new program I’m in and it didn’t go well, that’s all,” you finally sputtered out, staring down at your lap as your hands fidgeted. “I’ve never been good at first impressions,” you added, a gentle laugh escaping your lip as you thought back to your first time meeting Nolan.

“Listen, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” Nolan encouraged, “You seem like a pretty great person.”

You scoffed at his attempt to make you feel better, your emotions creeping their way back into your head.

“It was-” you paused, using every fiber within your being to try not to lose it in front of him, “It was bad.”

“C’mere,” Nolan whispered, turning on the bed to face you more and opening his arms, practically begging for your embrace.

You shook your head, closing your eyes as the fresh tears started burning. You were so selective in who you exposed your most vulnerable state to, and you barely knew Nolan. But despite this, you felt such an instant connection with him, and if his overt kindness was any indication, he felt the same way.

You let your final guard down, leaning back and curling into Nolan’s frame. He immediately wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight against him as one hand moved up to your head to rub soft circles into your hair.

“Go ahead and cry,” he hummed, his body gently rocking you back and forth.

You melted at his touch, your head nuzzling into the crook of his neck, the muted orange of his Flyers hoodie the last thing you saw before your eyes shut in sobs. His scent was overwhelming, the mix of his body wash and the leftover cologne lingering on his hoodie flooding your senses. You felt as if you disappeared in his grasp, like the world around you vanished and nothing else mattered.

You didn’t even know how much time had passed, but Nolan didn’t move an inch. He held you like it was the only thing he had to do all day. Once the tears stopped falling and your breathing steadied, you pulled back, instantly flooded with embarrassment.

“Wow,” you chuckled, wiping your cheeks, “I am so sorry, Nolan, I don’t know what happened I just-”

“Don’t,” he interrupted, “We’re friends, remember?” He teased, the corners of his mouth lifting in a gentle smile as he bumped your shoulder.

“Yeah,” you laughed.

“I think we were planning on grabbing some food,” Nolan mumbled, his hand scratching the back of his neck as he spoke, “If you want to come.”

“Oh, I don’t know.”

“Come on, you’re coming. If I have to put up with those two out there so do you.”

You rolled your eyes, but it was the least you could do after what he had just done for you.

“Give me five minutes to look less dead.”

Nolan smiled as you agreed, slipping out of the room so you could change and freshen up.

“What the fuck was that?” Nolan was bombarded by Kevin as he sat back down.

“Nothing,” Nolan mumbled, not in the mood to be questioned about things he didn’t even know the answer to.

“She let you go in there?” Aubrey asked, just having gotten back.

“Yes?” He responded, confused by her question.

Aubrey didn’t bother getting into it and changed the subject instead, but inside she was scheming. She knew you, how closed off you were, but here you were opening up to Nolan like you’ve known him for years. Nothing made Aubrey happier than watching this friendship bloom, and she couldn’t help but wonder if there was potential for more.

three

Team galas usually didn’t bother Nolan, it was part of the job, but tonight it was the last place he wanted to be. His tux felt too tight, the stuffy conversation with potential sponsors was putting him to sleep, and his date was, to be frank, insufferable.

Nolan had no problem going to an event without a plus one, he and TK were usually the two single guys spending their time causing trouble, but now that Aubrey was in the picture Kevin had decided he had seen enough. So, despite Nolan begging him to leave him alone, Kevin set him up with one of his friends from Boston.

She was just as Kevin described, beautiful and smart, but that was about all. Nolan was calm and reserved, at least until he was comfortable with someone, but she was the complete opposite. Her personality filled the entire room and although he admired her confidence, Nolan was exhausted. He felt like he couldn’t be himself, like he had to work to match her energy.

After what felt like hours of entertaining her and Kevin, Nolan made his escape to the bar. It was the first moment to himself he had, the relief immediately flooding him as he leaned against the counter. He titled his glass to the bartender, silently requesting a refill when he felt his phone buzzing in the pocket of his suit pants.

Nolan begrudgingly pulled the phone, wondering who it could possibly be. The entire team was with him and it was unlike his family to call him on a Saturday night. But when he saw your name flashing across the screen, his whole demeanor shifted.

“Nolan!” He heard you exclaim, your voice like a breath of fresh air.

“Y/N?” He questioned. You had never called him out of the blue like this before. Nolan nodded to the bartender thanking him before taking his drink and walking out to the empty hallway so he could hear you better. “Everything okay?”

It wasn’t really. You had just come back home from a date, one Aubrey practically forced you to go on. You pleaded to her that you were fine, that you weren’t ready to start dating in the city yet, but regardless, you found yourself sitting across from one of her coworkers at a restaurant downtown.

There was nothing wrong with him, he was nice, but it was evident to you before your drinks were even ordered that this wasn’t going to work. You pushed through the meal, putting on your best fake smile and pretending to laugh at his forced humor. You politely declined his offer to walk you home, instead opting to get an Uber so you could get out of your dress as soon as possible.

Now you were home, your sweats on and hair up with a glass of wine in your hand. The glass quickly turned into almost the entire bottle, drowning your sorrows of another failed date with your favorite red. That’s when you made the mistake of picking up your phone, your fingers scrolling through your contacts until you found the one name you knew would be able to distract you.

“I’m great. I mean I’m not, but it’s fine,” you rambled, your words slurred as you spoke.

For once it was you mumbling and not Nolan. He didn’t know what, but his gut was telling him that something was wrong, he could practically smell the alcohol on your tongue through the phone. After a long pause of trying to figure out what to say, his thoughts were interrupted.

“Come over?” You whispered, “I’m so sick of being alone.”

Nolan’s heart dropped at your words, his eyes blinking shut as he pondered his next move. His eyes scanned the ballroom, finally landing on his date. She was sitting at their table, Nolan’s empty seat sticking out like a sore thumb, laughing at whatever story of his college days Kevin was regurgitating. He would feel like an ass if he just left, and he would be lying if he said the prospect of an easy lay hadn’t crossed his mind tonight, but you were more important.

“Give me twenty.”

Since calling Nolan you had migrated from your bed to the couch, a blanket sprawled across your body while you laid horizontal. The only light in the room was from the TV as one of your comfort movies played. You were barely paying attention, instead zoning out and staring at the lit-up city around you from the window.

Your mindless thoughts were interrupted by a series of knocks on the door. You threw the blanket off of your body and stood up, slowly dragging your feet across the hardwood as you made your way. But you were nowhere near prepared for what you saw as soon as you opened the door.

Nolan towered over you in the door frame. He was wearing a suit, the soft, grey fabric clinging to his thighs and shoulders perfectly. His long hair was slicked back and tucked behind his ears. The scent of his cologne overwhelmed you instantly, the warm aroma making you want to melt into him. One hand was resting in his pant pocket, while the other was carrying a take-out bag from one of your favorite spots.

“Hi,” Nolan quietly muttered, breaking the silence.

His deep voice broke the trance you were in, and that’s when the realization hit you.

“I completely forgot you guys had that thing tonight,” you blurted, the alcohol in your bloodstream clogging your train of thought, “I am so sorry. You have to go back, I feel horrible.”

Your hands came up to your face, hiding your embarrassment. How could you forget? You spent hours this morning helping Aubrey pick out her dress.

“Y/N,” Nolan cooed, his large hands gently pulling your own off of your face, “I’m here and I’m not leaving.”

Nolan didn’t let you get another word out before he was pushing past your body. He wasn’t even enjoying himself at the event and the last thing he wanted to do was go back.

It didn’t long for the two of you to finish the food, opting to head back to the couch and ignore the many empty containers for now.

“I’m never going on a date ever again,” you slurred, “I don’t even want to look at a man ever again.”

Despite trying to be quiet, Nolan couldn’t hide his chuckle. He had heard similar frustrations from his two sisters growing up. He had been around endless assholes throughout his life, he knew how exhausting it must have been to try to find a decent one.

“Can’t blame you,” he mumbled.

Your body slumped against the back of the couch, your eyes slipping shut as the wine and food started to lull you into a sleepy haze. Nolan scanned your face, a soft smile creeping onto his face as he watched your chest gently rise and fall with each breath. Before he could catch himself, he lifted his hand and pushed back the hair that had fallen in your face, tucking it behind your ear.

In that moment Nolan knew that he was fucked.

Never before had he dropped everything for a girl as he did for you tonight. But he also had never connected with someone like he did with you. You didn’t force him to be something he wasn’t, there was no pressure to put on an act. It just felt natural with you. But your words from just a few minutes before lingered in the back of his head. You made it clear that you weren’t looking for anything right now, it only took one miserable date to remind you of that. So Nolan pulled his hand away, trying to ignore the burning of your skin against his fingertips as they trailed across your soft cheek.

You were friends. Just friends.

You had no idea how much time had passed, but suddenly you felt yourself stir awake, your eyes peeling open to find yourself tucked into Nolan’s side. His body was warm below yours, his arm resting across your shoulders holding you in place as you lay against his chest. From your peripheral vision, you could see his suit jacket on one of the couch cushions, the soft material of his button-down rubbing on your cheek.

You had two options. You could either acknowledge that you awkwardly fell asleep on him in your drunken state, or you could pretend that you never woke up and continue to enjoy the comfort of his embrace.

Needless to say, you chose the latter.

But you must have dozed off again because the next time you woke up you were being carried into your bedroom. Your arms were wrapped tightly across Nolan’s neck, the tips of your fingers naturally lifting to twirl the tufts of his hair.

“Shhh, I got you,” Nolan whispered as he felt you move, just before he laid you down onto your bed, “I’ll be right back.”

Nolan hastily left the room, leaving you to bask in the memory of his warmth as your head fell back against your pillow. Within just a few seconds he was back, placing a cool glass of water on your nightstand table. But almost just as fast as he came back, he was leaving again.

“Stay,” you murmured, watching him pause at the outline of your door.

“I- I got the couch.”

“Okay,” you responded, trying to hide your disappointment.

Nolan visibly cringed the second your door was closed, his head falling to his lap once he sat down. He wanted nothing more than to climb into bed with you. The thought of holding you beneath the sheets and feeling your soft skin in contrast to his rough hands made him dizzy. But the last thing he wanted to do was make you uncomfortable. You weren’t sober enough to say he could stay, and there was no chance in hell Nolan was going to risk scaring you off. So he took the couch, laying across the cushions with his eyes locked on your door until his eyelids gave in to his exhaustion.

four

It was finally Friday, another week in the books.

Your classes were taking more out of you than you had expected, the hours of reading and note-taking blending together as you finally closed your last tab. You had no plans for the night, and you honestly couldn’t be happier about it. A hot shower, takeout, and falling asleep early encompassed your perfect night recently.

Just as you were about to get in the shower, you were distracted by your phone ringing. You picked it up, surprised to see it was Kevin calling.

“Hi, Kevin,” you spoke, a slight edge to your words. You adored Kevin, he was an absolute sweetheart, but sometimes you just didn’t have the patience.

“What are you doing tonight?”

You rolled your eyes at his question, “Nothing.”

“Incorrect, you’re coming over and hanging out with me and Pat.”

“I am?” You laughed, taken aback by Kevin’s forwardness.

“Teeks and Aubrey are coming too, come on, Y/N,” he continued.

You knew you weren’t getting out of this without a real excuse, no matter how much you wanted to stay in. You hadn’t seen Nolan since the night you embarrassed yourself, the cringe of drunk dialing him after a bad date had yet to escape your memory.

“What time?”

“Uh- Let’s say 7.”

“Alright, Kev. See you later,” you hung up the phone, throwing it back on your bed before getting in the shower.

As you approached the boys’ apartment door, it was quieter than you expected it to be. Aubrey said she was already with Travis and would meet you there, so you were arriving alone. You assumed they would already have been there by now, but you ignored the silence and knocked on the door.

Just a few seconds later, the door swung open and you were face to face with Nolan. Your eyes widened when you saw him, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips and his bare torso staring at you. You quickly composed yourself, using every ounce of self-control within you to avoid trailing your gaze across his broad shoulders and down his chest, the curves and divots of his abs making your mouth water.

“Sorry,” Nolan mumbled, his cheeks flushing even redder than they usually were, “I thought you were Kevin, he always forgets his keys. Come in.”

You followed Nolan into the apartment, the muscles of his back rippling as his arms swung. You sat down on the couch, awkwardly waiting while he disappeared into his room. He came back just a few seconds later, his body now hidden behind a wrinkly t-shirt.

“Where is everyone?” You questioned, your body stiff as Nolan relaxed into the cushion next to you.

“Not sure,” he mumbled, the red of his cheeks lingering, “Kev said you were coming with Aubrey?”

Your face scrunched in confusion, “He told me she was coming here with Travis.”

Nolan then pulled his phone out and started typing a message to Kevin, desperate to figure out where he was. For some reason being here with you alone was making him nervous, there was an awkward energy in the air that had never been there before.

Nolan was reaching for the TV remote, about to ask you if you wanted to put something on when his phone sounded.

Kevin: You’re welcome

Now it was Nolan’s turn to furrow his eyebrows, the boy even more confused by Kevin’s message.

Kevin: We couldn’t watch you two anymore please just do something

Kevin: I’ll be out all night

Kevin: Don’t forget protection!

Of course. Of course, this little miscommunication was, in fact, a setup. But the worst part was that Nolan knew Kevin was right. No matter how hard he tried, he had been pining over you since that very first night. And now here you two were in an empty apartment with enough sexual tension to last the year.

“No one’s coming, are they?” You broke the silence, snapping Nolan out of his trance.

He threw his phone to the side as a slight smile crept across his stern face, “Nope,” he chuckled.

If you thought there was tension before, it didn’t even compare to what you felt now. Since meeting Nolan you were under the impression that your secretly harbored feelings for him were just that, a secret, but apparently, you weren’t as subtle as you thought. This had Aubrey written all over it, and you knew Travis was under her spell and would do anything to help her, and bonus points for chirping Nolan simultaneously. It was the elephant in the room, your mutual feelings still not being spoken but you both knew you had been called out by the people who knew you best.

“What are you thinking about?” Nolan whispered, the rough hum of his voice sending chills down your spine.

You couldn’t get even a single word out, your thoughts and feelings jumbling in your mind. After all this time the perfect opportunity was finally handed to you on a silver platter, but you still couldn’t do it.

Nolan could sense your hesitation, your close proximity and sweet scent clouding his consciousness.

“I’ll tell you what I’m thinking about,” he murmured, turning his body so he was facing you.

Your eyes had yet to leave your lap, your focus stuck on the rip of your jeans. You jumped when you felt his warm touch on your lower thigh, the warmth of his calloused hands making your heart rate rise even though the thick denim. His size was intoxicating and he made you feel like putty as he leaned closer to you.

“Y/N,” Nolan mumbled, his voice deeper than ever before.

You finally lifted your gaze, turning your head up to look at him. His baby blue eyes were piercing yours, the contact lighting a fire within you. Every reasonable thought in your head was telling you to pull away, to grab your bag and politely excuse yourself. You weren’t ready for a relationship, you had barely put yourself back together after your last heartbreak and Philly was supposed to be different. But as you sat here, your face just inches away from Nolan’s, you gave in to your desire.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you connected your lips with his, immediately sighing in relief as his soft pout worked perfectly against you. You hastily swung your hips over and seated yourself on Nolan’s lap, an eager groan escaping him when your body rolled into his. His hands splayed across your hips, moving to circle your ass as he helped you grind deeper into his already hardening length.

Nolan trailed his lips down your jaw, nibbling and sucking on the plane of your neck. You knew he was leaving marks, but in the moment you couldn’t care less, the euphoria of his touch being the only comprehensive feeling.

“Please,” you whined, tightening your grip on his long locks, “Nolan.”

You couldn’t remember the last time someone had ignited you as Nolan had. He had barely even touched you and you were nearly certain you had already soaked through your panties, withering in his lap desperate for more.

“Now she has something to say,” Nolan teased, whispering into the shell of your ear. He gave you no warning before he was standing up, holding the back of your legs as you instinctually wrapped them around his waist.

Nolan gently tossed you on his bed, pausing to pull his shirt off before he was climbing on top of you. You were in a state of bliss, finally able to admire his frame shamelessly and without fear of getting caught. He continued to attack your neck, leaving mark after mark behind in his wake. You whimpered impatiently as his lips worked your sensitive skin, but Nolan was set on taking his time. He didn’t know if he would ever have you like this again and he was going to savor every second of it.

But you decided to take matters into your own hands, pushing his frame off of yours and pulling your sweater over your head. You grabbed Nolan’s face again, cupping both of his cheeks as your lips met again. He made quick work of your bra, unclasping it with ease behind your back and tossing it across the room.

“Fuck, you’re stunning,” he groaned, pausing to take you in. Your hair was splayed across the pillow, your cheeks flushed while your chest heaved up and down with heavy breathing. His praise went straight to your core, clenching around nothing as you grew more and more desperate for him.

Nolan wasted no more time, finally making his way down your torso before reaching the hem of your pants. His fingertips slowly ran beneath the fabric, stopping only to look up at you. Your eyes locked and you frantically nodded, understanding that he was waiting for your permission before continuing.

“Words, Y/N,” Nolan hummed into your thigh, his order gentle but firm.

“Yes,” you breathed out, “Fuck, yes.”

Nolan did as you said, unzipping your jeans and sliding them down your legs. He almost lost his balance on the mattress when he saw you laying before him, the pink lace resting across your hips being the only thing keeping him from you. Nolan settled himself between your legs, hooking both of them over his shoulders as his hot breath fanned over your pussy.

Nolan placed a soft kiss to your lace-covered clit, basking in your reaction as you let out an embarrassingly loud moan and your hands flew to his head, tangling in his hair. Your hips jerked up into the air, desperate for more friction. Nolan laid his thick forearm across your waist, his weight halting all of your movements and holding you at his mercy.

“Nolan, please just fuck me,” you begged, the suspense too much to handle as you felt yourself drip down the crease of your thigh.

“All in good time, baby,” he cooed, pulling your panties to the side and finally connecting with your throbbing pussy.

You cried out as his tongue flicked your clit back and forth, the pleasure only magnifying when he sucked it between his teeth. Your hands were locked with an iron grip in the roots of his hair, holding on like your life depended on it. Nolan hummed against your core as he continued to taste you, the vibrations of his voice sending shockwaves through your body.

Suddenly Nolan pulled back, but before you could protest you heard ripping. A gasp left your lips when you realized what he had done, the mangled lace of your panties now laying on his floor. You wanted to yell at him, complain that those were your favorite, but before you could get a word out he was back at work, this time fucking his tongue in and out of you.

Your head fell back against the pillow, your mouth opening in a silent scream when you felt him slide two fingers inside while his mouth circled your clit again. Nolan curled his fingers against your sweet spot and you knew you were done for, your back arching off the mattress as you combusted with your orgasm.

Nolan milked you through your high, his tongue flattening against your clit as his head shook and his fingers kept their pace. He finally slowed down as he felt you come down, pulling back to watch you shake as the last waves of pleasure rolled through your body. He slipped his fingers out of your fluttering pussy, only to bring them to his mouth and suck your juices clean.

“You’re really good at that,” you stammered, just now coming back to your senses after almost blacking out.

Nolan laughed, kissing his way back up your body until you two were face to face again. You couldn’t resist pulling him down and crashing your lips against his, moaning into his mouth as you tasted yourself on his tongue.

“I’m good at other things too,” he smirked, tucking your hair behind your ear, just as he had done last week, except this time he didn’t have to hide it. The soft action made your heart flutter, but his words made something else flutter.

“Give me your best, Patrick,” you challenged.

“Your wish is my command, baby.”

Nolan pushed off his arms and stood up, hurriedly stripping himself of his sweats and boxers in one fell swoop. A whimper escaped your lips when you heard the sound of his cock slapping against his stomach, your pupils dilated as your eyes trailed down his thighs admiring his tattoos.

Reaching across you to get a condom from his nightstand, Nolan was surprised when you plucked it right from his hand. You tore open the foil and slowly rolled the condom onto him, a small smile spreading across your face when his hips buckled into your hand at your touch.

You may have been embarrassingly weak for him, but he was just as weak for you.

Nolan shifted on the bed so he was hovering over your body, leaning down to press a kiss to your mouth. Your lips moved in sync with one another, the pure lust filling the room dictating every movement. He felt you grow more and more impatient, your body stirring beneath his as he finally pulled away.

Taking one last look at you spread out before him, waiting for him to touch you, Nolan directed his attention back to between your legs. He locked eyes with you before collecting the salvia in his mouth, harshly spitting on your pussy. The moan you let out was only amplified when he started teasing you even more, dragging the head of his cock through your soaking folds.

“Nolan,” you whined, the last letter of his name prolonged as you begged, your entire body tensing while he tapped your already so sensitive clit.

“Shhh,” he cooed, rubbing his thumb in soothing circles against your hip, “Got to make sure you’re ready for me.”

Before you could get in another word of protest, Nolan was pushing one of your legs into your chest and sliding inside. Your mouth fell open as he slowly bottomed out, the sensation of him filling you paralyzing. A string of deep swears left his lips as he felt you already clenching around him.

After letting you adjust, Nolan started rocking his hips, quickly finding his rhythm. You didn’t have a single thought in your head, the way he hit your sweet spot inside and ground against your clit making you dizzy.

Nolan had never been in such bliss. He could never have imagined how good you would feel wrapped around him, your walls still pulsating from your first high as he slid in and out. The way your name sounded falling from his lips was pure ecstasy, his innate possessiveness in full drive. Your nails dug into his back, dragging burning lines into his skin that he knew he would be tormented about tomorrow in the locker room but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but the way your bodies fit together in perfect harmony right this moment.

You could feel yourself growing close within mere minutes, Nolan’s relentless thrusts giving you no mercy. He could tell you were almost there by the way you were fluttering around him, along with the mindless sounds of pleasure escaping your lips getting louder and louder.

“That’s it,” Nolan encouraged in your ear, “Cum for me, Y/N.”

Between his hot breath against your tingling skin and his plunging thrusts, Nolan had you seeing stars.

“Nolan, Nolan,” you whined.

You swore you almost blacked out, your vision going blank as he fucked you through your high. He wasn’t far behind you, the clenching of your pussy egging him on until he finally let go, his hips stuttering and groans filling the air as his head fell into the crook of your neck.

“Fuck,” Nolan sighed, letting his heart rate steady as he laid above you, resting the majority of his weight on his forearms.

“Yeah,” you responded with a breathy laugh, your mind still blank as you came down.

Nolan stayed there for a few minutes before finally sitting up, cringing as you whimpered when he pulled out. Your eyes slipped shut, but you could hear him shifting around the room. After pulling on a pair of fresh boxers and dampening a towel, Nolan gently cleaned you up, biting back a smirk each time you shivered at his touch. He disappeared again, this time returning with a shirt in hand, urging you to sit up so he could help you pull the soft fabric over your head.

You had every intention of getting dressed and leaving, but you just couldn’t find the energy to remove yourself from his warm bed. The sheets that smelled like him enveloped you, and now his t-shirt was draped over your shoulders begging you to stay. Nolan slid next to you, his body cradling yours from behind as he wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you impossibly close.

“Sleep well, Y/N,” Nolan hummed into your neck as he settled in.

“Goodnight,” you managed to get out, the shame of what you had just done starting to spiral in your head.

You made a mistake. Nolan was good, so good, and he deserved more than you could give him. Your last relationship ended in disaster, leaving you broken and abandoning the idea of finding love ever again. Regardless of what you told your friends and family, it was what drove you from home. Then came Nolan, he was the definition of kind. Even when he barely knew you he did whatever he could to protect you. That kind of guy deserves someone who’s got it together, not whatever mess you were. You couldn’t believe you let your attraction to him get the best of you, and now here you were, pressed against his sleeping frame as he held you.

Everything inside of you was telling you to leave. It was too much, the eventual pain of whatever this was ending was overwhelming. You could hear Nolan snoring behind you, the sound of his contentment almost bringing tears to your eyes. Gently lifting his arm from its spot across your waist, you slid from underneath his grasp. It was nearly impossible to find your clothes in the dark, but you managed to do so without making too much noise. Nolan didn’t even stir as you moved around him, folding the shirt he gave you and placing it on the nightstand.

Just as you reached for the door, you felt yourself pause. Don’t do it, Y/N. Don’t do it. But you couldn’t resist, slowly turning to take in what you were leaving behind.

Nolan was passed out, his body leaning towards the pillow where you once laid your head and his arm laying flat as if he was still holding you. You could make out the redness of his cheeks in the dim light, his eyelashes curling down onto his cheeks. Your heart broke as you looked at him, but you knew it was what you had to do. He deserved the world, which was much more than you were able to give him. Without giving it another second of thought, you opened the door as quietly as possible and made your escape.

+ one

It had been over three weeks since you last spoke to Nolan.

You couldn’t handle facing him just yet, so you did what you knew best: shutting out the people that cared about you the most. You ignored every single one of his calls and texts, eventually muting his number when it became too much. You replayed what you imagined he looked and felt like that morning, waking up to a cold, empty bed. It was heartbreaking, but you stayed firm in your decision. As long as you didn’t have to see his face you would be fine.

But of course, Aubrey had different plans for you.

Since that night, you had been more distant from her than ever before. You left the apartment early in the morning, spending your day in class and bouncing between different coffee shops while working. You kept up appearances when you returned in the evening, saying hello and asking her how her day was, but practically nothing else. You made an early exit to your room, citing homework or lack of sleep as your excuse. But she knew you better than anyone else, it was no secret something was wrong. Much to your content, you could only assume that Nolan was keeping your secret as well, knowing that if he told anyone on the team you would be getting an earful from her.

But Aubrey had decided that she was done letting you sulk about whatever it was you were so clearly upset by. The Flyers had been away for almost two weeks and tonight was their first game back home. Thanks to Travis, she had two tickets in hand ready for the two of you.

Before you had even shut the apartment door behind you after arriving home, she was jumping up to greet you.

“Hey!” Aubrey exclaimed as you walked in, “We’re going out tonight.”

You just stared at her confused, knowing damn well you had no intention of going anywhere. “Hey,” you started, “I- I don’t think so, I have a lot to do.”

“No, you don’t. Listen, I don’t know what is going on with you but I’m sick of watching you wallow in whatever it is. I’ve barely talked to you in almost a month, you’re coming with me,” Aubrey snapped. If there was one thing about having such an old friend it was that she always gave it to you straight.

“Where?” You begrudgingly inquired.

“Nope, it’s a surprise,” she answered. If her inkling was correct, whatever had you in this funk had something to do with a certain Flyers centerman and she was not risking you ditching because of it.

“Fine,” you groaned.

It wasn’t news to you that you had been a horrible friend recently. Despite the anxiety that came with breaking your current routine, maybe a night with Aubrey was just what you needed to take your mind off everything.

A few hours had passed, and you were sitting in the back of an Uber watching the city pass you by. Aubrey maintained the anonymity of the destination, ignoring all of your pleas for even just a hint. But there were some things that she couldn’t control.

Your stomach dropped when you saw where the car was heading towards, the large Wells Fargo Center plastered on the side of the building cluing you in. Of course, you thought, how could you not have known. You had so strictly blocked Nolan and the entire team from your mind that didn’t think to look at their schedule, but now it all made sense.

“Aubrey, no,” you stated, your voice already shaking as you got closer and closer.

“What the hell happened?” she snapped back, finally getting confirmation that your funk was related to Nolan.

“Nothing, nothing happened. I just don’t want to go,” you rebutted, “I’m not in the mood to see everyone, okay?”

“You don’t have to, we’re sitting alone,” she responded, turning her phone on and showing you the location of the tickets. As she promised, they were nowhere near the family boxes.

You didn’t say anything else, instead choosing silence as the car pulled up to the entrance. You both thanked the driver before quickly exiting, a long, awkward silence falling over the two of you as you entered the arena.

You could do this, you told yourself while adjusting in your seat. You could sit through one game, you didn’t even have to see or talk to anyone. If it would make Aubrey happy, you could suck it up and sit down. The two of you had still barely said a word to each other since arriving, and you could see the disappointment on her face. Deciding it was time to get over it, you put your arm around Aubrey, smiling as you instantly felt her relax and place her head on your shoulder. Neither of you said anything, but after knowing each other for so long, you didn’t have to. She knew what you meant.

You didn’t know what to expect, but the second you saw Nolan step onto the ice you were flooded with emotion. He looked tired, like he hadn’t been sleeping much or well, and your heart dropped at the thought that you may have been the reason why. You still were firm in your decision to avoid anything serious right now, but you knew you went about it in the completely wrong way. Nolan was the closest thing you had ever met to an angel, but you treated him like a random one night stand from the bar you barely knew. The guilt had overtaken you over the past few weeks, and seeing him in the flesh wasn’t helping.

It was a relatively uneventful game, the rebuilding Red Wings visiting and not giving the Flyers much of a fight. By the third period they were up 4-0, one of which was scored by number 19 himself. As the horn sounded signaling the end of the game, Aubrey turned to you.

“I was going to go see Travis,” she hesitated, “Do you want to come? Or I can meet you right after?”

“I’ll wait for you,” you encouraged.

Aubrey thanked you, squeezing your hand before getting up and heading downstairs. Instead of going to the main concourse to wait, you stayed in your seat, waiting for the crowds to clear out before you moved. Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you started mindlessly scrolling as a distraction.

But your distraction didn’t last for long.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Your eyes slipped shut when you heard his voice, that same voice that left you weak in the knees. You immediately felt your heart begin to race and your palms sweat. You felt caught. After taking a moment to pause, you finally mustered up the courage to look up at him.

Nolan’s eyes were focused on your own, his hair slicked back and soaking wet still with sweat. He had definitely not showered yet, between the fact that the game just ended minutes ago and his appearance. He was dressed in his undergarments and slides, clearly he wasted no time before coming up here to find you.

“How did you even know I was here?” you questioned back, already feeling yourself on the defense.

“Really?” Nolan scoffed, “Travis told me. How else would I have known? It’s not like you talk to me.” He trailed off, his words becoming quieter.

“Nolan, please,” you pleaded, “Please sit down.”

There was no doubt in your mind that it was time for you to come clean. You could see the pain in his eyes and the hurt behind his voice. He obliged, sinking to sit in the seat beside you, but he didn’t turn to face you. His coldness was evident, and you knew that you deserved nothing else.

“I’m sorry,” you began, “I’m so sorry, Nolan. I- I shouldn’t have left like that, with no explanation-”

“I thought I had you,” he interrupted, “Finally, Y/N, after all those weeks of tiptoeing around it, I thought we were done pretending.”

You could feel the tears burning behind your irises, and it was taking everything within you not to let them out. Nolan’s words broke you, even more than you were already broken.

“Nolan, I wanted- I want,” you corrected yourself, “Nothing more than to give myself to you, but I- I just can’t. I’m not ready.”

“Then why did you sleep with me?” his voice cracked, “And what does that even mean, ‘you’re not ready’?”

“I can’t let myself get hurt again, okay? I can’t do it,” you sighed, finally succumbing to your emotion, “I am so sorry for dragging you into my mess, but I can’t let myself go through that again. And you deserve so much better.”

Your head fell to your hands, hiding your face from him as you cried. Even just speaking out loud your last heartbreak made you a wreck. Deep down you knew Nolan wasn’t capable of hurting you like that, but you wouldn’t let him take care of you anymore. You couldn’t. He deserved someone who didn’t need to be taken care of.

“Y/N,” Nolan hummed, gently placing a hand on your back. He cringed when you jumped at his touch. “Y/N, look at me, please.”

You did as he asked, your red, puffy eyes lifting to meet his baby blues, putting you at ease almost right away.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Nolan murmured, “I don’t know what you think, but you’re not a burden. You’re the complete opposite and I want to show you that. If you’ll let me.” He paused, his eyes frantically scanning your face for any sign of your reaction. You were staring ahead of you, entranced with the ice below as you processed his words. Despite knowing how much it could potentially hurt, Nolan said what he thought he had to, “Even if it’s just as friends, but you can’t disappear on me again.”

You made Nolan feel at peace, like when he was with you nothing else mattered. But no matter how strong his feelings were, he cared for you enough to put them aside if that’s what it took to keep you in his life.

“I don't want to be friends,” you whispered, finally breaking the silence.

As if there was some kind of magnifying force between the two of you, your body lunged towards Nolan’s, your lips crashing together instantly. He was stunned, his body frozen in shock, but within seconds he melted against your touch with one hand on your lower back and the other tangled in your hair. It felt like time stopped in that moment, the only thing making you pull away was the lack of air.

You were both breathless, your foreheads resting against one another. Nolan took both of your hands in his, intertwining his much larger fingers with yours.

“I trust you,” you breathed out.

The grin that spread on Nolan’s face was like nothing you had ever seen before. You matched him right away, smiling as you watched the pure joy and relief wash over. The same joy and relief that you were feeling.

“Does this mean I finally get to take you out?” he asked, his deep mumble making you feel right at home again.

“Maybe,” you teased, “Only if you shower,” you added, pretending to push him off of you.

Nolan couldn’t help but fall into a fit of laughter at your subtle jab. That’s what he loved about you most, the way you could earn a smile or chuckle out of him like no one else.

He stood up from his seat, extending his hand out as he stared down at you. Without even a crumb of doubt creeping its way into your mind, you took his hand. Wrapping your arms around Nolan’s and resting your head against his shoulder, you walked out and into the hallway together.

Nolan leaned down and pressed a gentle peck to your forehead, and for the first time in longer than you could remember, you felt untouchable.

#nolan patrick #nolan patrick imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nhl smut #hockey smut #my writing

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jenohi · 3 years

Text

stranger

PAIRING ▸ Watanabe Haruto x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ pining, high school au, lacrosse au, I’m not really sure what genre this is lol

WARNINGS ▸ traumatic events?

SUMMARY ▸ When Haruto moves halfway around the world the last person he expects to see is you. His former nemesis...or so he thinks.

PLAYLIST ▸ Still Don’t Know My Name by Labyrinth

WORD COUNT ▸ 9626

UNIVERSE ▸ YG High; Treasure Lacrosse Team

A/N ▸ I’ve decided from here on out all my stories will probably fall within the same universe. I only really have like 4 universes in mind so I’ll label them just so you know. Also, I’m looking to add some art to my stories to bring them more to life but I am useless at graphics/edits, so! If you’re really into making graphics/edits and you enjoy my work please please PLEASE reach out to me!!! I would love to work with an amazing artist! <3 <3 Plz enjoy.

A/N 2 ▸ This story is like a lot of crossover with Jeongwoo’s story but I hope I was able to bring justice to Haruto’s character and bring his story to life. :P ok now enjoy for real realz.

You were the prettiest girl Haruto had ever known in his life. But to him, you were also his rival. You always managed to score just a few points higher than him on each exam, each quiz, each assignment. To him it always felt like the teachers liked you more, so he made sure your classmates liked him more. The thing that made him really mad was that you were so unbothered. You were ambivalent to him and you didn’t even know his name. If you really were strangers and never sat in the same class he could understand. But you had been in the same classes for years. Each time you spoke to him, you politely asked for his name. As if you were strangers.

When his parents told him that his family was going to move to another city, far enough that he would have to transfer schools, he had mixed feelings. This was his last chance to confront you. To understand why you’d never bothered to remember his name, but each time he approached you he found you furiously scribbling in a notebook. Although he resented you for not knowing his name, he could never get himself to disturb you when you looked so stressed scribbling whatever it was in your notebook.

What Haruto didn’t know is that you did notice him. You noticed the handsome, tall, skinny boy that was always in the corner of your line of sight. But you had no idea what to say to him. So you never approached him. He was a stranger.

Haruto wished he could forget you. He was a bit uncomfortable transferring to a new school at first but thankfully, three other boys had transferred with him. Asahi, Mashiho, and Yoshi had become literal brothers to him. The school also had a transfer students program and he made a new friend, Hanbyul. She was a chatterbox and sometimes she could literally chat his ear off, but she was also sweet and helpful. But she wasn’t you.

But that didn’t matter because Hanbyul had another guy on her mind all the time anyway. “You know we’ve just been friends for such a long time and lately, I’ve started to...I don’t know. I feel different. Nervous. Is it normal to feel nervous around your best friend?”

“I don’t know. Is it?” Haruto responded.

“No, I suppose it isn’t. But he probably doesn’t feel the same way. I doubt he’s ever even thought about me in that way.”

Haruto felt someone nudge him, he turned to see that it was Asahi. Haruto leaned over to hear what he was going to say. “Is she talking about Jaehyuk’s brother?”

Haruto nodded.

“Jaehyuk talks about his little brother and this chick all the time. She’s so off the mark. The little brother definitely has feelings for her if Jaehyuk is anywhere near the mark.” So both parties had feelings for one another but both parties were too chicken to say anything to each other. And for no good reason.

In a way that reminded Haruto of himself and it pissed him off. He knew that spending so much time with his new friend would raise suspicions but he didn’t care. He knew that spending so much time with her pissed Jeongwoo off. It didn’t take a genius to recognize it when they went to the Big Bang Concert together.

Haruto thought he was going crazy when he spotted you a few spaces over at the concert. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times to make sure it was really you. Haruto stormed over to you once he decided that it was in fact you. He had spent months thinking about what to say to you if he ever saw you again, he wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. Haruto didn’t even think to tell his new friends where he had gone.

You saw a tall, handsome figure approaching your direction. You took a second to check him out, but then turned back to the performers and continued to enjoy yourself. Your parents were reluctant to let you go out to this concert on your own but it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that you wanted so badly. You smiled sadly at what might happen when you woke up tomorrow.

“I didn’t know you were a fan of Big Bang.” You heard a voice from behind speak into your ear. You jumped in surprise and turned around to see that it was the handsome stranger you saw sauntering your way earlier.

“Hi, what’s your name?” You asked with a polite smile on your face. This is probably exactly what your parents were worried about, creepy men that would try to approach you. You started to think about the best way to remove yourself from the situation safely. The now unamused expression on his face alarmed you.

“When are you gonna cut the shit. You know who I am.”

You looked at him puzzled. “I do? How? From where?”

Haruto felt something in his chest crack. “I used to go to school with you. You’re Y/N right?”

“Oh, yeah. That’s me.” You furiously racked your mind trying to remember what you had read but your memory came up blank. You couldn’t help but cringe and turn away. This is why you tried your best to keep to yourself and away from people. You looked up to see Haruto staring down at you with a curious expression. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you. You said you used to go to school with me? You don’t go to school with me anymore? Can I get your name again? I’m really sorry. I’ll try and remember.”

“My name is Haruto. I don’t go to school with you anymore. I transferred to a new school a few months ago.”

“Oh, I see.”

Haruto wasn’t sure how to feel when he realized you actually had zero recollection of him. For some reason seeing you up close and seeing you really trying to remember him made him feel a bit sympathetic. He couldn’t understand why. It still totally irked him that you didn’t know his name. But something told him to sit down with you and get to know you.

“Well, do you like your new school?” You asked, looking up at Haruto. Your heart was beating hard and fast. You prayed that your face wasn’t flushing.

“Why don’t we just enjoy the rest of the concert for now and we can grab a late night meal after the concert?” Haruto proposed. His own palms were sweaty and his heart was beating fast.

You thought about it for a second, then nodded and smiled. Haruto felt like the world had a glittery filter for a second. He’d always acknowledged that you were attractive, but up close smiling at him, you were drop dead gorgeous.

“Awesome.”

After the concert, the two of you walked side by side as you left the crowded venue. You noticed Haruto took a second to text someone on his phone. He caught you snooping and laughed as you turned away. “It’s fine. I was just letting the friends I came with know that I was gonna head out with you.”

“Oh, if you need to get back with them it’s fine.” You said, maybe hanging out with Haruto was a bad idea after all.

“Not a chance, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I’m honestly curious to know how you are and how things are back home.”

Your face flushed at his words. You couldn’t remember the last time you had spent time with a guy like this. Was this a date?

“Alright. Then what are you in the mood for?” You asked, pulling up a list of restaurants that were still open at this hour.

“What’s available now? What are you in the mood for right now?” Haruto looked over your shoulder at the menu as he asked.

“Um, what about McDonald’s? I’m not that picky and there’s not that much open right now.” you said.

Haruto stared at you with wide eyes, were you always this cool? So the two of you made your way to the closest McDonald’s and debated which was better, Coke or Sprite. To Haruto, Coca-Cola was non-negotiable.

“How is your new school?” You asked Haruto, munching on a few of your fries. “Do you like it?”

“What are you doing here?” Haruto interjected.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re not in Japan. This is far from home. Why are you in America?”

“Oh, I’m uh- I’m visiting family. I’ve actually transferred to a school around here for the time-being as well.” You jumped in surprise when Haruto shrieked.

“You’re here now? Like for good? Like you go to school here? Where?”

You giggled at the questions he rained down on you. The way he asked you with his cheeks full and eyes wide was rather endearing. “Yes I’m here now. I’m actually, uh, home schooled for the time being.”

“Oh, interesting. Why are you homeschooled? I remember you were always really good at school.” Haruto said before he shoved another chicken nugget into his mouth. The irritating thought that you were always better than him at school, just by a little popped up in his mind but he pushed it away. That didn’t matter anymore. He had your attention now.

You felt your face flush. Even with your condition it was true that you maintained your good grades. So Haruto must have actually known you back in Japan. You eyed him again, when he caught you staring at him you turned away. Haruto smirked.

“Enough about me. Tell me about your friends. You said you came with friends from your new school right?”

“Well I’d say one of them is actually who I’d consider a friend. The other one is a mutual friend. A childhood friend that has feelings for her.”

“Her?” it slipped out of your mouth. Haruto’s smirk reappeared and his eyebrow jumped up when he looked at you. You looked away, what was this funny feeling in your chest? It was weird.

“Our school had this transfer student program and she just happened to be assigned to me. She’s really cool, I’m not into her like that and she’s not really into me like that. She likes her friend.”

“How do you know?”

“She told me.”

“Oh. That feels like something important. Like a secret.”

“Well, I told her a secret as well.”

You stared at him. He didn’t indulge in the secret. Haruto was wholly focused on sipping the last of his Coca-Cola before putting it down on the table and letting out a sigh.

“Well so what’s going on with them now?” You asked.

“Hopefully, they both pull their heads out of their asses tonight. I gave them time alone so the best case scenario is that they just talk it out. The dude, Jeongwoo, I actually met him for the first time tonight and he’s a cool dude. It would be nice to have more dude friends around here.”

“You don’t have any guy friends?”

“I do. There are 3 other transfer students from Japan and they’re all dudes and I’m friends with them. Actually, Americans like to play this sport. Lacrosse? My friend told me to try out for the team and I think I might. Mashi, Asahi, and Yoshi agreed to try-out as well so it’ll be fun.”

You nodded, you had no idea what lacrosse was and you didn’t think you would be that interested to learn either. “I should get home.”

“Right of course.” Haruto said, getting up. “Where are you headed? Let me call you an Uber.”

“No, it’s okay. I can actually walk back home from here.”

“Oh really? Well, at least let me walk you back.”

You hesitated for a second. Would it be smart to show this guy where you lived? But then you shook it off, he seemed pretty harmless throughout the night and you trusted that he knew you from school in Japan. So you agreed.

“Do you have to be home-schooled?” Haruto asked.

“No, I don’t think so.” you answered.

“Would you be interested in attending school in person again?” Haruto could feel the devil on his shoulder kicking him. What was he doing? He had already gone to school with you before and the fact that you always did just a smidge better than him drove him nuts.

“Um, I haven’t really thought about it. Why?”

“You should consider transferring to my school?”

Your eyebrows shot up. “What?”

Haruto stepped back a bit and raised his hands. “It was just a suggestion. Honestly, I struggled a bit when I first came here. I can’t imagine how lonely it must be to be here and just be home-schooled so I figured it might be nice to have some sense of community.”

“Um, I’ll think about it.” You weren’t going to think about it. You looked up and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw the familiar apartment complex. “This is me. You don’t have to walk in with me. I’m gonna go now.”

“Wait.” Haruto said. You turned around to look at him, a thin smile on your face. “I, uh, I had fun.”

“Yeah, this was nice.” You said truthfully.

“We should do it again sometime.” Haruto said. You stared at him, he looked perfectly composed to you. But his heart was practically beating so hard he thought it might fall out of his chest.

“Honestly, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

Haruto felt a heat and anger flare up in his chest. But he did his best to tamp it down and get it under control. This was literally the first time you had acknowledged his presence. He put a smile on his face. “Well, then maybe we’ll just run into each other again sometime.”

“Maybe, it’s all up to fate now. Good night Haruto.”

“Good night Y/N.”

The second you made it back into your room you pulled out your diary. You scribbled the notes you had logged into your phone throughout the day as quickly as possible. Briefly reliving each moment as you wrote them down. By the time you had gotten to the end of the list and began to recount the concert you could feel your eyelids getting heavier and heavier and your hands writing more and more frantically until suddenly, you crashed.

The next morning you woke up and read your notes. You squinted at the last thing you had written. Your handwriting became illegible near the end. ‘Haruto?’

The next morning Haruto woke up and smiled at the memory of you. Asahi and Mashiho eyed their roommate as he pranced around the living room and kitchen smiling and singing. But nothing could bring Haruto down. Well until he saw his friend looking depressed as hell.

“Dude what’s up?” Haruto asked. “Did you and Jeongwoo figure your shit out?”

“Uh, about that. Well, no.”

“No? What do you mean no?”

“Well what about you? Did you run into her?”

“Nuh uh, this isn’t about me. You literally had the perfect opportunity to make something of it. To make a moment! Did you guys have a moment?”

“Yes, I think we did. But I got scared. I don’t want to lose Jeongwoo as a friend, but at the same time I don’t think he has any feelings for me like that. I just, I think I need space. Maybe if I just distance myself from him a bit then I can get over my feelings and…”

“No offense, but that’s the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“Well I don’t care if you think it’s stupid. This is my decision and my decision is that I don’t want to see Jeongwoo for awhile. Ok? I’m not ready for the conversation. So you better get used to seeing me more often!”

Haruto sighed as he watched his friend storm out of the room. He turned around and exchanged looks with Asahi. “Did I say something wrong?”

Asahi shrugged. “Honestly, I think you’re valid. I think her logic in avoiding Jeongwoo is pretty dumb. The dude’s in my gym class. Honestly, he’s chill. I don’t think he’d react badly to her if she confesses regardless of how he feels.”

“I should probably find her and apologize anyway.” Haruto said, exiting the room. Eventually he found his friend and they sat together in the cafeteria.

“Sorry about what I said earlier. I’ll admit it was kind of harsh. But honestly I can’t say I understand your logic at all.”

“It’s fine Haruto. You seemed extra happy when you walked in this morning. Who was the friend that you saw at the concert?”

“It was her. Y/N.”

“No way! Isn’t she in Japan?”

“That’s what I thought too. I was so shocked to see her.”

“What did you say to her? What did you guys talk about? Did she recognize you?”

“That’s the thing. The best part of it all was that I actually had her attention. You remember I told you about how she never acknowledged anybody right? She was always reading her notebook in the hallway. In the past when I spoke to her she never even knew my name! She had to ask me every single time. But this time, there’s no way she wouldn’t remember me!”

“Your relationship is weird. But I guess that’s sweet. What does she write about in her notebook?”

“I don’t know. Why does it matter? She knows my name now!”

“That’s another thing. You went to school together for years and she never remembered your name? Why?”

“I don’t know.” Haruto said. Now he was grouchy. All the questions that had been brought up to him were valid, but these weren’t things he wanted to think about.

A few weeks before the lacrosse tryouts in the spring Haruto went to the hospital to get a physical done.

Once he was done he stumbled into a small cafe right next to the hospital. When he saw who was manning the cash register he rubbed his eyes and looked away and looked back a few times to make sure he wasn’t being deluded. When he was confident that he wasn’t going crazy he stood up and walked over to the register.

You saw a tall, handsome, and skinny guy walk up to the cash register. You cleared your throat and stood up straight. “Hello, what can I get you?”

“Y/N! It’s fate. We ran into each other again!”

“Again?” You put a smile on your face and thought of a response. “Hey, it’s so good to see you! How have you been? What’ll you have?”

“Do you...remember my name?”

You felt your heart picking up speed and your palms beginning to sweat. But you kept your composure. “Of course, let me take your order and we can chat for a second.”

Haruto beamed. “Okay, then I’ll just have an Iced Americano.”

“Okay, that’ll be $3.30. The ice machine is in the back so I’ll be right out in a second. You rushed to the back of the cafe and pulled out your diary and flipped through the pages, reading the entries as quickly as possible. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed a torn piece of paper that had slipped out of your bag. You picked it up, it matched the paper in your diary. You flipped it over to see that it had a name written on it. Haruto.

Was that this guy’s name? Who was he to you? Darn it, why hadn’t you written more?

You quickly filled the cup with ice and walked out filling the cup with cold brew. You grabbed the marker and scribbled Haruto on it. You walked back over to the cash register. This guy’s eyes were practically glittering in anticipation. Was it normal for someone to get this excited over a coffee?

“I’ve got one iced americano for Haruto?” you said.

If his eyes were glittering before, they were practically flashing light strobe lights at a nightclub now. A matching beaming grin on his face. “Yes! Y/N it’s fate. We ran into each other again!”

“Right. Yeah, of course. What are the odds.”

“Do you have a minute?”

“Um, I’m working right now. I’d rather not get in trouble. Maybe another time?”

Haruto swiveled around, eying the cafe. “It looks pretty empty to me. I don’t think you’d get in trouble if you came out for a second just to keep me company.”

“Still…”

“Is your manager even here right now?”

“No.”

“Then come on. Just come out for a second.”

You looked around the cafe, cursing at how vacant it was. You tugged at your sleeves for a second before answering. “Fine.”

You followed Haruto out from behind the counter. He walked over to a table and pulled a seat out from underneath the table. He smiled as he waited for you to sit down. You walked over to the table and turned around. Haruto slid the chair underneath you as you moved to sit down. Once you were seated Haruto ran around to the other side of the table and sat down.

“How are you? How have you been?” Haruto asked.

You stared at the boy sitting in front of you. He was so handsome. “I’m doing well. How about you?”

“I’m good. I was in the area because I needed to go to the hospital.”

Your ears perked up. “Why were you at the hospital?”

“Why do you wanna know? Are you worried about me?”

You didn’t say anything. You just stared at Haruto. Haruto cleared his throat and looked away for a second. “I’m just playing with you. I went to get a physical.”

You nodded, tracing the patterns on the tablecloth.

“I needed one for lacrosse tryouts.”

“Lacrosse? What is that?” you asked. Haruto thought the way your nose scrunched in confusion was adorable.

“I told you about it last time! Remember? It’s this sport that Americans like to play. I had never heard of it in Japan either.”

You didn’t remember. “Right.”

Haruto couldn’t understand the dynamics of the conversation. He watched as you avoided eye contact with him and intensely focused on tracing the pattern of the table cloth. Then you would stare out the window of the cafe, it almost appeared as if your eyes were glazed over. “What are you always writing about in your notebook?”

Your head spun over to look at him so fast, you thought you might have gotten whiplash. “What?”

“Your notebook. I remember in school back in Japan I always saw you either writing things down in a notebook or reading the same notebook. What’s in it?”

“Um, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Why? It can’t be that bad. I promise I won’t laugh no matter how embarrassing it might be.” Haruto said. Leaning forward over the table so that he was in your face.

“Forget it.” You said, leaning back and looking away. You glanced over at your bag that was perched far back behind the counter and breathed a sigh of relief. “Look. I gotta go. I’m supposed to be working right now. I think you should go now as well.”

You stood up from the table so quickly that the chair you were sitting on toppled over. You didn’t bother to turn around and pick it up. You walked back towards the counter without looking back.

Haruto watched you as you walked away. He narrowed his eyes when he saw you grab your bag and walk to the back of the cafe. There was only one thing on his mind as he walked out of the cafe. Your notebook. What was in the notebook?

You frantically flipped to today’s page in your notebook. In all caps with your boldest, darkest black marker you wrote at the top of your notebook. ‘Beware of Haruto. Tall, Handsome. Asked about notebook.’

Then you shut the notebook and exited the back room, breathing a sigh of relief when you noticed that the cafe was vacant once again. You walked over to the cafe table where you had previously sat and picked up the chair that had fallen over when you had left the conversation.

The next day at school Haruto was deep in thought. What could possibly be so important about a notebook? When Hanbyul shoved him, Haruto shrieked as he fell out of his chair. “Dude, what the hell is your problem?”

“What are you thinking about? You look like you’re thinking so hard that your brain might break.”

“Do you have an important notebook? Is that like something girls do?”

“You mean like a diary?”

Haruto snapped his fingers and looked up. “Yes! Exactly like one of those. Do you have one of those?”

“I did when I was younger. I don’t keep one anymore though. Why do you ask?”

“My friend. The one from home, Y/N? I think she has one. I asked her about it yesterday and she got all dodgy and weird.”

“Ah, well. Back when I did keep a diary it held all my dirtiest secrets. I don’t think I would want to share it with anybody or for anybody to know about it. Not even now, and as an elementary schooler I really don’t think I had any secrets worth keeping.”

“It was so weird. She got so defensive over it. I didn’t realize bringing it up would be such a touchy subject.”

Hanbyul shrugged. “Different things matter to different people. Are you ready for tryouts? They’re coming up soon aren’t they?”

Haruto nodded. “Asahi, Mashiho, Yoshi, and I have started going to that gym that you recommended. Lacrosse is actually pretty fun. Mashiho is the best though. Are you coming to tryouts?”

“Of course I am. I’m practically making you go so it’s only fair that I be there to see how you do. I reserve the right to totally make fun of you if you embarrass yourself though.”

Haruto rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

Soon enough it was the first day of lacrosse tryouts. Haruto had frequented the cafe that you worked at in hopes of getting the chance to speak to you again. Unfortunately, what he didn’t know was that you had quit the job and diligently stayed home and studied.

Haruto was agitated at the thought of not being able to speak to you again. When he tried to sit down and rationalize it himself he couldn’t make sense of it. A year ago he despised you for not knowing his name. You know his name now, right? What more did he want from you?

“Haruto? Haruto! Hello? Are you even listening to me?”

Haruto turned to look at Hanbyul. “Honestly no, sorry. What’s up?”

“I feel bad for how I treated Jeongwoo. You were right, avoiding him was not the right thing to do. But why hasn’t he said anything to me?”

“Look I can’t tell you what’s going on between the two of you any better than you can. My assumption is that he’s a bit hurt and confused at the moment by how you’re acting and he doesn’t want to make things any worse than they are.”

“Can’t you say something to him?”

“Me?” Haruto looked up from his stick that he was re-taping. “What do you want me to say to him?”

“I don’t know. Just...just get him to react.”

Haruto scoffed. “If you want me to do that I can but again I feel like it’s not going to produce the results that you want. Like I think if I say anything things are gonna go really sour so I think you should think long and hard about this.”

“Haruto!”

“Look, I gotta go. Tryouts are starting.” Haruto said, turning away and walking onto the field. He didn’t miss the hard stare coming his way from Jeongwoo. Haruto ignored them and focused on his gameplay. Lacrosse had actually become really cathartic for him and he found that he really wanted to make the team.

Haruto noticed that the coaches seemed to be reacting favorably to how he was playing. He also realized that Jeongwoo was also really good but he played really aggressively, like he had something to lose. At the end of practice Haruto figured his hunches must have been correct because the coaches called him over to speak with him.

“I’m sure you know Varsity tryouts were this morning, all of your friends from Japan did great as did you and so we’re thinking about pulling you up to varsity. So tomorrow I want you to come early and try out with the varsity team, alright?”

Haruto beamed and nodded.

“Good work son.” The coach slapped Haruto on the shoulder. He did his best not to fall over. Thankfully the coach didn’t notice.

Haruto walked off the field and headed towards the school parking lot. Just as he pulled his phone out to call someone for a ride home his phone pinged, he tapped on the notification to see that it was a message from Mashiho.

Mashiho: Haruto have JV tryouts ended?

Haruto: Yes, I just finished

Mashiho: Cool. Have you found a ride home yet?

Haruto: No, do you know anyone who can come get me?

Mashiho: Ya, a lot of the guys on varsity can drive. Junkyu is over now but he offered to come pick you up.

Haruto: Junkyu?

Mashiho: He’s trying out for the varsity team. He’s cool. Kinda goofy but cool. I’ll come by with him.

Haruto: Alright, thanks dude.

Mashiho: Np.

Haruto checked the time on his phone before putting it back into his pocket. 6 P.M. Would you be at the cafe? The last few times he had gone by he hadn’t seen you. He put the thought away when a car appeared in front of him. The window rolled down and Mashiho cheered when he saw Haruto. “Get in the car! You smell!”

“Shut up and unlock the door Mashi.” The car door clicked open and Haruto hopped into the backseat. There was a large dude sitting in the driver’s seat who kept fidgeting with a bunch of random controls.

The guy turned around with a giant grin on his face. “Hello! I’m Junkyu. You must be Haruto! Nice to meet you!”

Haruto bowed. “Hello. Yes, I am Haruto. Nice to meet you as well.”

“Ruto! How were tryouts?”

“They were really good. Coach pulled me over at the end of tryouts and told me to come early tomorrow morning and try out with the varsity team.”

“Damn! You must be so good!” Junkyu said from the driver’s seat. Haruto tried not to be concerned by the way Junkyu was driving. His head kept swiveling from left to right. “Did you guys play sports back in Japan? All of you were insane at tryouts today!”

“We all played football. I think Mashi and Yoshi played basketball as well.”

“Football? Do you mean football football or soccer football?”

“Eh?”

“Do you kick a ball or do you carry a ball?”

“You kick it. Duh. Why would you carry a ball? That’s just dumb.”

“Americans call a totally different sport football. Don’t worry about it too much. But it’s awesome that you guys are so good.”

“Well to be fair, we were told about that Lacrosse Club and we had a few training sessions every week leading up to try outs.” Mashiho said.

“Ahh! How’d you hear about that? A few of us have been playing on their club teams for a while.”

“My friend told me about it. She’s the person responsible for me in the foreign exchange students program. Hanbyul?”

“Oh! I know who you’re talking about. Her brother was a legend at this school. He was a top recruit since his sophomore year here. But right before the most important game of his senior year he tested positive on a drug test and he couldn’t play. It totally turned him, his team, and the school around. He got dropped by the college that was recruiting him. But I heard he struck a deal with a pro-team and I guess he’s been training with them. The dude was in a league of his own.”

“Damn. That’s insane.”

“Yeah, our school takes lacrosse pretty seriously. The best players at our school get recruited to some of the best schools so it’s a great opportunity.”

Haruto knew there were probably more important things to be thinking about in this conversation but he couldn’t help but wonder if he could get you to come to one of his games.

The second day of tryouts Haruto was absolutely on fire. His shorts were shart, his passes were quick, and his steps were light. The varsity team was definitely of a different caliber but Haruto found the challenge fun. It was nice to be able to play with the rest of the Japanese boys as well.

At the end of varsity tryouts the coach pulled him over, “you were great out there today. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling alright coach.”

“Up for a few more hours?”

Haruto paused, but then nodded. He wasn’t in a place to argue with his coaches. “Sure.”

“Great. Then I want you to continue through JV tryouts. Grab some water and then head back out onto the field.”

“Alright coach.”

Haruto jogged out to the edge of the field. He was surprised to see Hanbyul sitting at the edge of the bleachers. “What’s up?”

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here? I came to watch your second day of tryouts.”

“Are you sure you’re here to watch me?”

“Shut up. Why are you all sweaty already?”

“Coach had me try out with the varsity team today.”

Hanbyul’s eyes widened. “Dang, you must be awesome. The last two boys that made it onto the varsity team as sophomores were my brother and his best friend Bobby.”

Haruto shrugged. “The game is fun. It would be awesome to play on varsity.”

The coach blew his whistle, signalling all the players to come back out onto the field. Haruto turned around and gathered around. Every so often throughout the day Haruto ran back to the bleachers where Hanbyul sat. His bag was stowed away there as was his secret stash of Coca-Cola. It probably wasn’t smart to be drinking Coke in the middle of tryouts but every so often he needed a pick-me-up.

“You need to quash that habit.”

“Yeah yeah.”

At the end of the day the coach told Haruto to wait for him inside his office. So Haruto did just that.

“So what’d you think about tryouts today?” Coach asked.

“It was intense.”

“Yeah, what did you think of the way the varsity team played?”

“They were quicker, sharper, and more nimble.”

“Good observation. Do you think you were good enough to play on their level?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then answer me another question. If you had to pick another player from the JV tryouts today to pull up to Varsity who would you pick?”

Haruto thought about it for a second. The answer was obvious. The only other person who seemed to put up a fight with him was “Jeongwoo.”

“Good guess.” The coach laughed. “I don’t know what they feed you kids in Japan. But all four of you are good.”

There was a knock on the door. Haruto turned around to see Jeongwoo. He smirked when he saw the sour expression on Jeongwoo’s face. But it was gone once he had walked into the room and stood adjacent to Haruto.

“The two of you have demonstrated amazing capabilities and I am considering pulling one of you up to the varsity team. Take this opportunity seriously. Tomorrow is the last day of tryouts.”

The last place Haruto expected to run into you was at the hospital. The last thing you were expecting at the hospital was for a dude to come up behind you and scare you. It was horrible, you can’t remember the last time you screamed so loudly, let alone at a public place.

“What are you doing here Y/N?”

“Uh, I’m-” you hesitated, trying to craft an answer that was vague enough that you wouldn’t have to tell the whole truth but not vague enough that he wouldn’t continue to ask questions. But thankfully Haruto seemed to take it upon himself to fill the silence.

“Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry that I totally misjudged you when I first met you? In fact, I thought I hated you.”

Alarm bells went off in your head. Was it normal for a person to come to you and tell you they hated you? “Uh, thanks?”

But Haruto continued. “But I wanted to say I totally read you wrong. You’re actually really cool. And I wanted to say thank you. For remembering my name.”

That was the first time someone had ever said that to you. You stared at him blankly unsure of how to respond.

“Haruto! Haruto! Haruto! Please report to waiting room 105, the doctor is ready for you now.” The voice over the loudspeaker belted.

“Well, that’s me.” Haruto said with a soft smile on his face. He got up and waved goodbye to you before heading to the back of the office.

Once he was safely out of sight you pulled out your notebook. Your face paled once you flipped through it a few times. You thought about what to do. What did this guy want? You wrote out all these questions in your notebook. Then you came to a conclusion of what to do and wrote that down in your notebook as well.

You ripped out a piece of paper from your notebook and scribbled your number on it. Then got up to the receptionist desk. “Hi, I don’t know if you’re allowed to do this. But when that guy Haruto comes out. Would you mind giving him this?”

You handed the sheet of paper over to her, the receptionist gave you a look and then a wink before accepting the sheet of paper. You figured that meant she accepted, so you waved goodbye and left the hospital.

“Excuse me sir!” The receptionist lady called out to Haruto as he was about to head out of the doctor’s office. What felt and looked like a nasty possible sprain on the lacrosse field just turned out to be a measly bruise.

Haruto approached the reception desk. “There was a young lady earlier. She asked me to give this to you before you leave.”

Haruto looked at the slip of paper. His eyes widened into the size of large gumballs when he realized what was on it. He felt like his heart would explode. But then his mind pumped the brakes, he wasn’t ungrateful, but why did you give him your number?

On the way back home you second guessed your decision at least 30 times. Why did you give him your number? The only reason you could think of was that you didn’t want to not know the guy. Contrary to what your mind and your diary told you. Your heart didn’t want to give him up. Maybe it was selfish and confusing, who knew? But who cared?

Haruto’s excitement was cut short when he finished punching your number into his contacts. Before he could even send a message to you, his phone rang. Hanbyul.

“Hey Hanbyul, what’s up?”

Haruto became alarmed when he heard a sniff and a muffled sob. “Haruto, I miss him.”

Haruto sighed. “He’ll come around soon.”

“Is there nothing you can do to make him come around sooner?”

“Hanbyul. If all goes well he’s going to be my teammate. Plus, what could I possibly say to change things?”

“I don’t know. He probably thinks there’s something going on between us.”

Haruto paused. “Is that why you’re friends with me?”

“No, no I swear it’s not. You’re an amazing person and you’ve been an amazing friend.”

“Hanbyul.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t like what you’re asking me to do. But you are my friend. If you’re really sure this is the way you want to go about it.”

“I’m- I’m not sure. I just need things to change.”

On the third day of tryouts Haruto was in a funk. And it showed. The events of yesterday night haunted him, he was happy to see you but he was sorry for Hanbyul. Haruto didn’t really like to fight with anybody, but he found her requests unreasonable and the questions she asked about you probing and uncomfortable.

It seemed as if Jeongwoo was the same way. Haruto gave into the niggling voice inside his head and said probably he shouldn’t have said. “You’re gonna lose your girl to me and now you’re gonna lose your spot on the team to me?”

It pushed Jeongwoo off the edge and the two of them went at it. Haruto played ferociously and aggressively. As did Jeongwoo. The game ended when Jeongwoo illegally body checked Haruto.

“Dude what the hell is your problem?”

“No, what’s your problem? Your comment back there? Absolutely uncalled for.”

Valid. But Haruto wasn’t going to admit that. “Please. Pull your head out of your ass. You’re hurting your friend. Talk to her.”

Haruto stood by as he and Jeongwoo got scolded for their behavior. Eventually, tryouts ended with neither one ending up on the varsity team. Haruto knew he probably should have been more bothered but he wasn’t. He had other things on his mind.

When Haruto exited the office he saw Hanbyul waiting outside. She turned to look away from Jeongwoo back to Haruto. Tired and hopeful that their saga would end, Haruto smiled and jutted his chin out towards Jeongwoo. Hanbyul smiled and ran after Jeongwoo.

Since the fateful day you have Haruto your number. Whenever he had a free moment he would ask to see you. After each time you saw him, you thoroughly wrote down everything that had happened in the day. You didn’t want to forget.

A few Mondays ago, you went to get ice cream together. “What’s your favorite food, Haruto?”

“Me? Anything unhealthy.”

You whacked him on the arm for that.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For being a stupid teenage boy. And because I’m jealous of your metabolism.”

A couple Thursdays ago, Haruto asked you if you wanted to go watch a movie with him. The Uber and the weather didn’t quite work out. “Sorry we missed the movie by 45 minutes. But on the bright side, it’s not raining anymore!”

You laughed. “I guess you’re right. What should we do instead now that we’re here?”

Haruto looked around. He pointed at the grassy meadow. “We should just lay down on the grass and look at the stars.”

“The grass is wet.”

“Look, they're selling plastic tarps over at that convenience store. Let’s just buy one.”

“Okay.”

Haruto paid for a plastic tarp and spread it down out on the grassy meadow. The two of you laid on the ground parallel to one another. Until Haruto turned to you “can I hold you?”

You felt your face flush and you looked away. You hesitated for a few moments but eventually Haruto smiled when he heard a soft “yeah.”

So he moved his arm as you lifted your head to rest on top of it. You curled into him as his arm wrapped around your upper body. Haruto’s stomach exploded in butterflies. Your face was on fire. But the two of you were happy, blissful.

Last Friday night Haruto asked you to come to one of his lacrosse games. “Y/N, this is my friend Hanbyul. Hanbyul, this is Y/N.”

“Y/N?” Hanbyul stared at you eyes wide. Like she knew something. She looked like she wanted to say something but she held it in. You wondered what it was, but decided not to think too much about it.

Hanbyul was sweet. She kept you company throughout the game. But she was an aggressive cheer-er. Most of her attention was spent yelling at the field. Her energy was contagious and by the end of the game you were standing on the bleachers cheering “Go Haruto!”

Now it was Saturday and the two of you had finally gone to see the movie that you had meant to see a couple Thursdays ago. You clasped onto the arm that Haruto had held out for you as you exited the movie theater. “That movie was so good! It was so crazy!”

Haruto laughed. “Yeah it was okay.”

“Just okay? You didn’t like it?”

“No, I liked it. It wasn’t bad. But I feel like there were better movies from this cinematic universe you know?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Which one was your favorite?” Haruto asked.

“Huh?” You looked up at Haruto to see him looking down at you. You turned away. “Um. Would you wanna come back to my place?”

“Huh?” Haruto wasn’t normally caught off guard but this time he was.

“I mean. Not like that. I just, I don’t know I’m not ready for the night to end and I figured since my place is close by we could just go back and chat.”

Haruto smiled. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Let’s go.”

Soon after the two of you arrived at your place, Haruto got situated on the couch and after making sure he was properly settled in. You had gotten up to go fetch your drinks. Haruto spotted your notebook sitting on the edge of the coffee table. He glanced over to see that your attention was fully occupied on making your drinks. Haruto turned back to stare at the notebook. No. The notebook was staring at him. Haruto knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t peek.

But he couldn’t help it. Every time he saw you he either saw the notebook with you or he saw you writing the notebook and every time he even remotely looked in its direction you guarded it with your life. This could be his only chance.

And so, Haruto grabbed the notebook. He flipped through it and saw that it was very meticulously dated. Upon closer inspection he noticed that each entry was timed as well and every timed entry had extensive details about what you saw, what you talked about. Then he flipped backwards and found one page not like the others.

This page wasn’t dated. Instead, it was titled. Haruto. Haruto’s eyes widened. Every line of his designated page was filled. There were things about him on there that even he hadn’t realized he had said. Why had you written all these things down? All these details didn’t seem that important to him. They were like things that were probably easily remembered. Or things you could ask him about, he’d answer if you ever asked him about.

Just as he was about to continue flipping through the pages of the notebook. “What do you think you’re doing?”

An index card fluttered out of the notebook right at Haruto’s feet. Haruto bent down to pick it up. But in a panic you kicked his shin and as he howled and grabbed onto his leg you snatched the card. “What the hell Y/N?”

“No. I should be asking you that. I’ve made it abundantly clear that this notebook is not to be touched. It’s incredibly private to me.”

“What is it? Why is it so important? I asked Hanbyul what it might be and she just said it was probably a diary. What is so special about yours?”

“What is so special about mine?” you were so angry you felt like your head was about to pop. While your head didn’t pop. Your mouth certainly did. “What is so special about mine? This notebook? This notebook. Is my memory. I don’t have a memory.”

You tossed the card at Haruto. He picked it up and read the words on the card as you spoke.

“At age 13 you were involved in a very traumatic car accident. The accident left you in a coma for two weeks. After you recovered from your coma you were diagnosed with anterograde amnesia. From that day on, you no longer have the ability to make memories. The memories you make within a day will only last until you fall asleep wherein your memories of the previous day will be wiped. Use your notebooks to keep track of your days. Use these notebooks to help you remember.”

You could hear your voice waver as you finished reciting the contents on the index card.

“Y/N, I-” Haruto said. The world seemed grayer and grimmer. Everything made so much sense now. Why every time he spoke to you in school you had to ask for his name. Why sometimes you looked confused or blank when he mentioned something or attempted to crack a joke.

“So now you know.” You whispered. You could feel your body start to heave, your breathing became heavy. The gravity of what you had just exposed started to weigh down on you. “You need to leave. You need to leave and never come back.”

“Y/N. I wish you would have told me.”

“Why?” You snarled. “Why would I tell you that? Each day I wake up I can’t even remember who you are. Why would I have told you anything? Just so you could go around pitying me? Telling everyone else about me? Absolutely not.”

Haruto started to feel tears well up in his own eyes. He felt trapped in his own body as he watched your body fail yours. When he saw you collapse something snapped in his head and he got up and picked you up. One arm held you under your shoulder blades and the other below your knees.

“Get. Out.” you said in between wheezes.

“No. Y/N. I’m sorry. I don’t want to. Let me help you.”

“Get. Out.” you said, barely conscious.

“Y/N. You’re scaring me. What do I do? How do I help you? Let me help you and I’ll leave you alone.”

Your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier. Honestly, you weren’t even sure what exactly was going on. Maybe it would be smart to have Haruto call your doctor before he left. “Emergency Numbers. Notebook.”

Haruto placed you down on your bed just as you had passed out. Haruto immediately ran back to the living room and grabbed your notebook that had fallen onto the ground. He flipped through it frantically. What page were the emergency numbers on? He saw them scribbled on the inside of the back cover. He grabbed his phone and dialed the first number listed at the top.

“Hello? Is this Y/N’s doctor? She’s just passed out and I don’t know what to do. I’m in her apartment right now. Someone please come help me.” Haruto hadn’t even realized that tears had been streaming down his face until he saw wet splotches appear on the notebook. He wiped them quickly and sniffed. “This is scaring me.”

“Yes, this is Y/N’s doctor. I’m on my way over. Who is this?”

“Haruto. I’m a friend of hers.”

“Haruto. You did good, son. Just wait. I’ll be there in a second.”

“Doctor. Is she gonna be okay?”

“Honestly I can’t tell you right now. I have to check up on her. Right now I’m in front of her door so you can let me in.” The call ended and Haruto opened the door.

“Is she in her room?” The stout man asked.

Haruto nodded and followed him back into your room. He tried to help the doctor but eventually the doctor turned to him and said “son, just relax. Give me some space. She should be fine. She had a panic attack, something must have worked her up. But she’ll wake up. But, it might be better if you aren’t here by the time she wakes up.

“I understand, doctor.”

The doctor took a good look at him. Then nodded grimly before turning his attention back to you. Before Haruto could leave though he saw a stack of index cards, a roll of washi tape, and a pen sitting on your desk. He was still holding your notebook from earlier. He grabbed the materials and headed back out to the living room.

Before he left he scribbled out a note. Then pulled something out of his wallet and taped it to the back of the index card. He then taped the index card to the inside of the front cover before shutting the notebook and leaving it in the middle of your coffee table. He held in a sob as he got up. How had things gone so sour so quickly?

Haruto walked back over to your room and peeked in. Your doctor was still busy doting on you. So he turned around and exited your apartment. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Junkyu. “Hey, can you pick me up?”

“Yeah of course. Send me the address.” Junkyu said, trying not to be too alarmed by the tone of Haruto’s voice.

Eventually, you woke up. After reading the note that your doctor had taped to your hand explaining the situation you took a deep sigh. What a shit show. You needed to find the notebook your doctor had mentioned in his note.

It was sitting in the very middle of your coffee table. You flipped through the last few pages to read your entries. Your eyes started to water and you felt yourself get emotional. You could sense that you had grown close to someone. You read about yourself and how you felt about Haruto, but who was Haruto? For the most part you had made peace with your situation but for the first time in a long time, you began to feel frustrated. Angry. Cheated of a normal life that other 16 year old girls got to live.

Just as you were about to shut the notebook you noticed there were two index cards taped to the inside cover. The first one explained your situation. It was more or less what your doctor had just explained to you. But the second one was new. You lifted it up to your face and began to read it aloud.

Y/N,

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are the love of my life. My name is Haruto Watanabe and I am 16 years old. I met you for the first time in our freshman year of high school back then when we lived in Japan. We were only 14 years old. I used to be jealous of you, how you beat me in school every time even if just by a little bit. I also resented you because I thought you never bothered to remember my name.

By some stroke of fate, we both ended up in America. Whether by fate or not we saw each other a few more times and met up with each other and I really began to fall for you. You are the kindest, most beautiful, and genuine person I have ever met in my life.

I want you to know that even with your condition. My opinion and my feelings towards you have not changed. I want to be honest with you and tell you what I did and I hope in time you can read this and not feel angry.

Y/N, I did something bad. I invaded your privacy. You see, every time I saw you you fiercely guarded this notebook. Everytime I asked about it or possibly glimpsed at it you would react so strongly so eventually the curiosity of needing to know what was in the notebook killed me. And one day when your attention was occupied elsewhere, I read it.

It seemed like a regular diary to me but you caught me in the act and got upset with me. You explained to me your condition and I want you to know I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry I behaved so insensitively. If I were a more selfless man I would have left your life for good. But I am not. I’ve attached my school I.D. to the back of this card. On it has my name, my picture, and my phone number.

If you ever find it in yourself to forgive me. Please give me a call. I will always love you.

Love,

Haruto Watanabe

You flipped the back of the card over. Sure enough there was a school I.D. taped to the back. You pulled the card off and stared at it. The boy in the picture was handsome. He was tall. His height was 6’2”. You scoffed, at least you had good taste.

You saw his phone number at the bottom. You pondered over whether or not to call him, what would you even say to him? Where would he even fit in your life?

These were the questions that ran through your mind as you pulled your phone out and dialed his number. You stared at the numbers as you recited them aloud again. Your thumb hovering above the green button.

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twinklelilstarkey · 3 years

Text

Relieved - Matthew Tkachuk

Words: 1.7k+

Type: Fluff

Summary: Matthew has to go back to work just days after you give birth to his son and he absolutely hates it.

Warnings: Female!Reader. Anxiety (maybe, separation anxiety). Kinda rude Matty. Mentions of soreness and lack of sleep (from birth).

It has been 2 days since you were dismissed from the hospital. Two days since you have officially become a mother. And two days since you haven’t slept a full night without waking up at least 4 times during it.

Your body is still very sore, but medicine helps. Yet it’s not like you move a lot around the house.

Matthew, your boyfriend and dad of your kid, does not let you get up most times the baby cries. He always says that he will check and then if you’re needed, he’ll bring the baby to you. All of this because he knows that you’re tired and really doesn’t want you to tire yourself out further or go through any pain from how sore you are, over something that he can do.

Bad thing work calls quick. You’ll be on maternity leave for at least one more month, but Matt? Yeah, no, his team supposedly already needs him back.

And he’s not happy about it.

“Baby, I’ll be fine.” You tell him in a low whisper. “You don’t have to worry that much.”

He clenches his jaw and looks out of the window, clearly annoyed. He’s not wearing a shirt and is holding the newborn baby close to his chest as he sleeps peacefully.

Matt looks down at his son, staring at his small chubby face with adoration, as it is kind of smooshed against his warm skin, which makes his lips slightly parted, and he continues to contemplate calling his coach and just announce his absence last minute.

“He’ll probably still be asleep when you come back.” You tell him, gaining his attention again. “We’ll both be fine.”

“And if something happens?” He asks, also in a whisper, “I won’t be able to pick up the phone and come home.”

“Your mom is just a few blocks away at the hotel, remember?” You ask softly, “I promise that if something happens she’ll be the first person I call.”

He thinks about it for a second and looks down at the baby again.

“She’ll probably get here in less than 2 minutes too.” You add to lighten the mood.

A grin appears over his lips at the sound of your words and he gives his head a slight shake. You smile and he leans away from the wall beside the bedroom window.

Matthew sits down beside you on the side of the bed and you move a bit to sit closer to him. You two look down at the sleeping baby, admiring him as if he’s just the most peaceful thing in the world and didn’t wail his little lungs out just about half an hour ago.

You lean your cheek against Matthew’s naked shoulder and he lays his head against yours, letting the two of you sit in the peaceful silence as he rethinks his options.

“I’ll go.” He finally whispers, “But promise me you’ll call my mom right away. And that you’ll always have your phone with you.”

“I promise.” You say with a slight grin.

You lift your head off his shoulder really slowly, so he can lift his first, and you move a bit on the bed to move in even closer to him. You give a quick kiss on the lips before giving him two more on the cheek and offer him a smile.

“Everything’s going to be fine.” You tell him in a whisper.

(...)

Throughout the warmups and game, Matthew’s mind is going a mile a second.

Sure, he’s a professional athlete, he’s supposed to be able to put everything in the back of his mind and only focus on the game and nothing else. But it doesn’t really work that way.

From the time he stepped foot outside of the apartment and inside the arena, he feels like his heart is continuously skipping beats and accelerating for no reason.

And the fact that everyone that would see him walking to or around the locker room would congratulate him for the second time for being a first-time dad, is just making matters worse.

How is he supposed to be focused on something when everyone just keeps on reminding him who he has at home?

Warm-ups were awful, he just wanted to do one more lap, go take his gear off, and go home. It’s going to take him hours to leave that place and knowing that is just worsening this whole situation.

You, on the other hand, are more than calm. To be completely honest, you’re sitting in bed half-asleep for most of the time. As well as the baby, who is sleeping on his little crib beside your bed, peacefully, as the game plays in a soft mumble on your bedroom’s TV.

You’ve also now come to realize that the voices of the casters over the sound of blades on the ice are surprisingly relaxing when left at a certain volume. To you, at least, a mother who hasn’t slept more than 3 hours for the past few days.

While you were taking your very peaceful nap, Matthew was still a nervous wreck. He’s made sure that one of his trainers has his phone just in case something happens. Something that, of course, they never do but today is the big exception.

And surprisingly, he scored in the second period.

Matthew honestly felt like he was on autopilot the whole game, so it even came as a shock to him that he did it. Which some people did notice since he had a more confused look on his face than anything while everyone around him celebrated.

And right as the game went to intermission, he thought he was being able to put home aside for a second. But that was only until the god damn intermission interview.

“Congratulations on the new addition to the family , by the way. How’s everything going back home?”

Damn you, whoever decided to make that question. He did answer with a smile and a soft tone, seeming to everyone like he’s an under-control-over-his-emotions dad and not at all freaking the fuck out.

You? Still fast asleep. Just like the baby.

By the time the third period reached its half, Matthew was already seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

He’s almost home.

And you? Well, this time you’re not asleep anymore. You’re changing a diaper and then comforting your very small baby against your upper chest as you walk around the house.

It still amazes you how such a small being can scream so loud.

You used the opportunity of being up on your feet and with the baby with you to go actually eat something. Which was kind of hard to do with only one hand, but not impossible.

You texted back Chantal, Matt’s mom, just to let her know that you are okay and that you were even able to take a nap, which as an answer you got all types of celebration emojis.

Everything was going pretty okay and honestly, that nap worked wonders with you. You felt exhausted when Matthew left, and now you feel as strong as ever. Still sore, but strong.

After eating and drinking tones of water, you walked back to the bedroom to watch the end of the game. You had to eventually feed the baby as well but that went fairly easy.

You had to give yourself a pat on the back after this whole thing, everything went so well that it seemed like you’re truly getting the hang of it. For now, at least.

The game ended, the Flames won, and Matthew was ready to go home.

That is until he’s told that he has press to do. He swears he almost hit someone with his stick or even helmet. Like, come on, people!

And this time he did not have the smile nor a soft tone, he looked pissed, which some people found funny.

At least some questions were quick and easy to answer, but there still were the quite annoying ones he’s grown accustomed to.

He was out of his chair as soon as the words ‘the questions are do-’ left someone's mouth. Rude? Probably, but today is not the day to throw that in his face.

The shower was probably the quickest one he’s ever taken and he thinks he didn’t even dry himself off completely when he started getting dressed.

Speeding out of the parking lot, home he went.

He doesn’t even think he parked his car correctly, but he was out of the car and inside the house in a matter of seconds.

You heard him from the bedroom let his bag fall by the lobby of the house and his quick footsteps over the wooden floor of the hallway.

A few seconds later, Matthew appears in the bedroom’s doorway and his eyes are staring down at you right away.

“Hi!” You say with a smile.

“Did he sleep this whole time?” He asks, a slight shock on his face.

“No,” You say with a smile, “But he might go to sleep again in a few.”

You look down at the small baby and you hear Matthew making his way to the bed. He ignores the fact that he’s still wearing his very uncomfortable suit and sits next to you, leaning his back against the headboard while eyeing his son staring at the ceiling while what looks like chewing on his tongue.

“Do you want to hold him?” You ask him as he stares intensely.

A shy smile grows on his face and you smile back as you see that as a big ol’ silent yes.

You lean away from the bed’s headboard and turn a bit to Matthew to get a better angle. He slowly and safely takes his baby from your arms, who automatically leans on whatever warmth is next to him - that being Matt’s chest.

Matt doesn’t feel stressed, anxious, mad, or even tired anymore. He just feels relieved that he’s back home.

You look at two of them and your heart completely melts at the image you swear you can look at for the rest of your life.

What is there not to love about this?

Baby fever is still going strong, so I had to write this, don’t hate me.

#Matthew tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk imagines #matthew tkachuk x reader #matthew tkachuk fanfic #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagines #hockey imagine

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tpwkjerii · 4 years

Text

fool’s mate

there’s only one way to lose a game of chess in two moves, and hwang hyunjin managed to figure out how to (subtly) steal your heart with exactly two moves.

pairing: student!hyunjin x student!reader

warnings: fluff, some cursing, y/n likes reading & books, y/n is kinda a teachers pet, y/n is kinda mean, hyunjin is a simp

genre: high school au, fluff, minor angst if you squint, kinda enemies to lovers and fools to lovers

word count: 4.1k+

a/n: first hyunjin fanfic pls enjoy loves!! also a big happy birthday to hyunjin! send him some love if you can :’) xx

Hwang Hyunjin was an asshole. Or at least he was in your eyes.

Why he decided to bother you every morning without fail? You didn’t know. Usually, you brushed it off in favor of talking to your friend Mina, but this morning you couldn’t. Why?

His clumsy ass spilled warm coffee on your white uniform blouse. Now you were sure he didn’t mean to do it on purpose since he never resorted to any physical annoyance, but after the morning you had (let’s just say you shared some rather unsavory words with your project group members), you could only place the harsh blame on him.

You cursed at the same time he apologized, shooting up from your seat with dark brown coffee dripping down your shirt and onto the table.

“I’m so sorry! Really! Sorry!” Hyunjin said frantically, his hands desperately grabbing onto napkins and awkwardly pressing them onto your chest as a futile attempt to pat away the mess.

“Really? You’re sorry?” you huffed, extremely agitated. To make matters worse, everyone was watching your interaction with Hyunjin, and they were all laughing.

Who were they to laugh at your misery? Even Mina was stifling a laugh! Your friend Mina!

“I meant to give the coffee to you and I tripped over your bag! I didn’t see it I swear!” Hyunjin explained, although it did nothing to calm you down. He faltered over his words when his fingers accidentally brushed against the exposed part of your chest, and you ignored the way it made your heart skip, instead choosing to verbally attack him again.

“You expect me to believe that, Hyunjin?” you exhorted dryly, watching as his long black hair shook rapidly while he nodded.

“Yes because it’s true!” he cried, shrivelling inside when you only scoffed and pushed him away.

Your teacher coughed awkwardly once Hyunjin returned to his seat, gathering everyone’s attention. Well, everyone except Hyunjin, who was staring at you like a kicked puppy.

“___, why don’t you take a trip to the nurse’s office, I’m sure she has an extra shirt for you,” your teacher instructed you, sympathy evident in her voice.

Your face burned red as you nodded and stood up, hating the way everyone looked at you and your coffee soaked shirt. Damn Hwang Hyunjin. You all but ran out of the classroom, and left just as Han Jisung leaned over to Hyunjin and said, “I told you she wouldn’t like the coffee.”

Thankfully, you ended up getting a new (and clean) shirt from the nurse, and you were in a much better mood once lunch hour arrived. Everything was going well as you walked out into the courtyard with Mina. You had your lunch in one hand and drink in the other, ready to replenish yourself after long hours of boring class. In the moment, you thought that the worst of your day was truly over.

But, of course, you were a fool to think that you could ever have a truly good day.

Hyunjin and his group of friends walked up to you, their own drinks and foods in hand. Instinctively, you put a hand up, saying as he approached, “If you’re thinking about spilling another drink on me, don’t.”

At your snarky comment, Hyunjin winced and his shoulders visibly sunk. The sight was so sad it almost made you feel bad for him. Almost.

“It was an accident! It really was!” Hyunjin defended himself weakly, obviously ready to continue but stopped when one of his friends - Seungmin, you recognized - cleared his throat and elbowed him. With Seungmin’s interruption, Hyunjin remembered why he approached you in the first place, and his entire demeanor shifted. His shoulders lifted, chest popped out, and an effortlessly beautiful smile took over his face.

Looking unimpressed, you gestured at him to continue. “I don’t have all day, Hyunjin.”

He nodded, and confidently asked, “___, how do you feel about accompanying me to Yellow Wood Cafe after school?”

You furrowed your brows at his proposition and stifled a laugh at the way his friends reacted to his request. If you looked closely, you could see Felix mutter “that’s not how we practiced.”

“As much as I would love to go and get another coffee spilled on me,” you started dryly, and Hyunjn visibly deflated as he realized you would never let that go, “I have Book Club after school.”

At that, Hyunjin’s face contorted into one of confusion. He swore he double - no he triple checked that you would be able to go today. According to the club website and a trusted source, Book Club wasn't supposed to meet again until next week.

“I thought we weren’t going to meet until next week?” Seungmin asked, thankfully voicing Hyunjin’s concerns. Although it wasn’t because Seungmin could read Hyunjin’s mind, but because Seungmin (aka trusted source) was also in Book Club.

You nodded at Seungmin, and Hyunjin ignored the jealousy he felt when you smiled at his friend, informing him of the board meeting that the club was having.

Hyunjin slapped himself internally. He forgot you were the vice president of Book Club. How could he forget such a crucial detail?

Seungmin nodded in response, and you took the newfound and rather awkward silence among the group as the chance to leave. “Sorry, Hyunjin. I won’t be able to make it today,” you said with a twinge of actual sympathy.

Once you were gone, Hyunjin sadly walked away, his friends in tow. As they sat down at their usual table, a light bulb emerged and lit up in Hyunjin’s mind. He had a plan.

“Seungmin,” Hyunjin started, effectively capturing his friend’s attention, “you play chess, right?”

Seungmin nodded, sarcastically stating, “I’ve only been in Chess Club for two years.”

Hyunjin grinned, “I know I know. Anyways, what’s that one thing called? The one where you can win a game of chess in only two moves?”

“Fool’s mate?”

“Yes!” Hyunjin exclaimed, now having the attention of his entire table (and directly surrounding ones). “I know how to woo Y/N with only two moves.”

“Who uses the word woo anymore?” Jeongin said, his face scrunched into a grimace. “And how exactly do you plan on doing that when she hates you?”

Hyunjin frowned at his younger friend. “She doesn’t hate me. And it’ll be simple, just listen…”

Move 1: King’s Pawn to E5 — Avoid Y/N (“absence makes the heart grow fonder or some shit like that, right?” - jisung someone)

Expected Response: Y/N will start to realize that she actually likes Hyunjin and his presence.

4 days.

It had been 4 days since Hyunjin last talked to you. Were these arguably the best 4 days of your life? Absolutely.

No coffee spills. No obnoxious locker slamming (yes, Hyunjin had the locker next to yours). No yelling across the classroom. Just pure, unadulterated peace.

But you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were missing something. Did you know what that certain something was? Yes. Did you want to admit it? Fuck no. There was no way you actually missed Hyunjin’s presence, no way.

As you walked into the classroom again, your eyes reflexively darted to the corner where Hyunjin and his friends always sat. As usual, Hyunjin was sitting on the table with Felix at his side, Jisung and Seungmin were sitting in their seats, and Jeongin was leaning against Seungmin’s shoulder. Normally, Hyunjin would see you enter, shout your name, and gesture for you to sit by him.

However, it’s been nearly a week since the last time he did that. The first day, it was a relief to not have the entire room’s attention on you at 7:50 AM. Now, it was slightly irking.

For a split second, as you walked to your seat, you made eye contact with Hyunjin; and for a second, you thought everything was about to return to normal. But instead of calling you out like you thought, he looked completely past you and waved at the person behind you.

It took almost all of your control to maintain a neutral expression and not turn around to see just who that person was.

Begrudgingly, you set your school bag down on your table and sat down in your assigned seat. With two minutes before the bell, Jeongin runs out of your classroom to go to his and Mina walks in to take her seat next to you.

“What’s got you so upset?” she asked, faux innocence laced in her voice and a knowing look in her eyes. Mina caught on easily two days ago when you accidentally let slip a hurt expression when Hyunjin ignored your greeting.

“Shut up,” you muttered, hearing her stifled laugh as you took out your notebooks.

Luckily, your first few classes passed by rather quickly. For once, your groupmates actually contributed and spared you the trouble of doing all the work. Soon enough, it was lunch period, and you and Mina found yourselves walking to your usual lunch spot.

As you approached your unofficially-claimed bench in the courtyard, you eyed Hyunjin’s unusually quiet table. On a normal day, they would all be very loud (at this point, everyone knew what Jeongin’s scream sounded), but today they were hunched over the table in what appeared to be a deep discussion.

With this newfound silence, you could actually hear the wind rustling the trees and the light chirps of the birds. It was relaxing and peaceful, exactly as you thought lunch should be. For a second, you let a smile grace your face and forgot about how you missed Hyunjin’s constant annoying presence.

Of course, good things can never last long for you because soon enough, it was too relaxing. The birds’ light chirps became annoyingly loud and the blowing wind just became an inconvenience as your hair kept flying into your face regardless of how you angled yourself. And then, as if the clouds opened up and shined a ray of the heavens onto the planet, you heard his laugh.

The laugh, which you previously associated with pure anger, filled you with a surprising warmth. Any negative words you had for mother nature fell silent on your tongue as you shifted your gaze to look at Hyunjin. You watched as he tilted his head back, a harmonious laugh erupting from his throat as his eyes crinkled into beautiful half moons.

You found yourself hypnotized by him as he calmed down and leaned back, running his hands through his long, black hair with a content expression on his attractive face...

You stiffened as he turned and met your gaze. Hoping that he didn’t see the intense blush on your face (he totally did), you quickly looked away and grabbed Mina’s arm, effectively startling her.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Mina asked, slightly choking on her lunch as you rushed her to stand up. “You didn’t even touch your food!” the disgruntled girl continued as you dragged her away.

“I-it doesn’t matter,” you stuttered, praying for the heat across your face to go away. “I’ve lost my appetite.”

“Well I haven’t,” Mina muttered.

“Mina,” you started, whirling around to stop both of you in your tracks once you were out of the courtyard and in an empty hallway. She looked at you expectantly, her feet tapping impatiently. “This is an emergency,” you stressed.

Mina looked both unimpressed and concerned. With raised eyebrows, she asked, “Emergency meaning what, exactly? Do you need me to take you to the nurse?”

You groaned and looked down at your feet in embarrassment. Raising your hands to your face, you sighed as you mumbled, “I… I think I like Hyunjin.”

Pretending that she couldn’t hear you and deciding to make you more miserable than you already were, Mina held back her laugh and said, “You what? I didn’t quite hear that.”

Suppressing a loud groan, you begrudgingly repeated, “I think I like Hyunjin,” a hard annunciation following each word.

“Ah,” Mina laughed. “I thought so. We all did.”

You shot up, making direct eye contact with the girl in front of you. “What do you mean?” you asked, your eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Mina laughed again, saying, “You know, you’re pretty blind sometimes.” With that, she started walking away, only picking up her pace when you started following after her.

“What’s that even supposed to mean?” you shouted after her, groaning internally as she broke into a full on sprint.

Move 2: Queen to H4 — Invade Indirectly spend more time with Y/N by attending the same activities (“but hyunjin you hate readi - ” “shut up jeongin”)

Expected Response: Y/N will realize that she loves doing stuff with Hyunjin and will like him more.

“You joined Book Club?” you asked the long-haired newcomer, trying to control the shakiness in your voice and thanking god that you were sitting or else your weak knees would betray you.

Hyunjin nodded, a beautiful smile spreading across his face. “Seungmin,” he paused, pointing to Seungmin, who waved from the door, “suggested that I pick up a new extracurricular.”

You raised your eyebrow pointedly. “And you chose Book Club?”

He nodded proudly, hoping that he didn’t appear as nervous as he felt inside.

“Hyunjin,” you sighed, and he ignored how the way you said his name made his heart feel like it was about to collapse after a marathon, “the only books I have ever seen you read were all for class.”

“And they were all great!” he lied through his teeth, but painted on fake enthusiasm in hopes of convincing you. Evidently, it worked as your confused gaze dropped and you shrugged.

“If Seungmin thinks you’ll enjoy it then I guess you’re free to join us today,” you told him, your voice soft and lacking the usual bite it had when you talked to Hyunjin. Your gentle tone shocked everyone in the room, who all expected you to kick Hyunjin out instantly and permanently ban him from the back library office the club met in once every two weeks.

“Oh,” he said, his lips parting in shock and his heart pounding wildly as you gestured for him to take the empty seat next to Seungmin. “Thank you,” Hyunjin managed to breathe out, turning around to walk towards the open seat with a hand dramatically clenched over his chest.

“Alright,” the sound of your voice again startled Hyunjin, who barely sat down. You stood up from your seat, a book in hand and a friendly smile on your face. “Hopefully everyone finished the last book, which was recommended by Sunwoo,” you announced, smiling as you lifted up the book 1984 and gestured kindly towards Sunwoo, a boy in your class.

Hyunjin ignored the twinge of jealousy as you nonverbally praised Sunwoo for his book choice. He could choose nice books to read, too.

“Usually Joon leads the discussion,” you continued, and Hyunjin recognized the advanced Literature TA’s name, “but seeing as both him and Haechan aren’t here, I’ll be leading the discussion for today!”

Hyunjin felt his heart swell at the proud grin on your face as you talked about your passions. To be honest, he hated reading and would prefer to be at the dance studio with Felix for extra practice, but being here with you made him quickly forget about those two things. He would read 1000 books if it meant he got to spend more time with you.

In the front, you animatedly led the discussion, willing yourself to not stare at Hyunjin and lose your train of thought. It was harder than you thought it would be to ignore the way he casually ran his hands through his hair and how he pushed up the sleeves of his uniform shirt. It was enough to make you both curse and thank Seungmin for bringing him today.

After ten long minutes of discretely ogling Hyunjin while attempting to lead the discussion on a book you barely managed to finish in time, you were finally able to sit down. Everyone else was deep in conversation, and mostly everyone had their attention off you. Key word: most.

Hyunjin kept an unreadable gaze on you while, shockingly, participating in the group discussion. Your eyes clashed with his, and you found yourself struggling to breathe properly as he mentioned his favorite part of the book.

“When Winston and Julia realized they liked each other and took the risk to be together.”

At his words, your breath stopped. The intense gaze he held on you and the slight shakiness in his voice led you to assume that Hyunjin was feeling the same way as you, and that his sentence was just a shove — a way of indirectly putting his feelings into the air. You knew that your relationship wouldn’t be nearly as risky as the two characters’ of 1984 and that you and Hyunjin were far from the two, but somehow, Hyunjin’s words managed to excite you.

Was it a risk to open your heart up to the person who used to annoy you to no end? Was it a risk to like someone at all? Years of building walls and pushing people away were crumbled by a beautiful boy with a smile that took your breath away. You didn’t know what this meant for you, but one thing was for sure: for once, you hoped that Hyunjin didn’t stop hanging around.

Soon enough, Book Club was over, and you all but ran out of the library. With your backpack securely on, you put in your earphones and began the usual walk to Yellow Wood Cafe. It was a usual tradition to meet Mina, who was really your only friend now that you were thinking about it, after Book Club to do homework and eat together.

With music playing loudly in your ears, you failed to notice Hyunjin and Seungmin behind you; conveniently, both of them were also headed to the Cafe to visit their friend who worked there. Or, at least Seungmin was — Hyunjin had an ulterior motive.

After a short eight minute walk, which was all taken up with you screaming internally over your newfound feelings for Hyunjin, you arrived at the bright storefront. Through the decorated glass walls, you saw Mina sitting at your usual table, her neck craned down to copy notes. You walked into the store with a happy smile and headed straight for the empty seat across your friend.

As you set your bag down, Mina looked up, and her smile turned into a mischievous grin when she moved slightly to the side to see the familiar faces that entered behind you.

“What are you looking at?” you asked, your brows furrowed together as you turned around.

You recognized him instantly and you quickly whipped around, hoping he didn’t see that (he definitely did). “Oh my god,” you whispered, your eyes wide in panic, “I can’t believe he followed me.”

“Follow?”

You inhaled sharply, hesitantly turning around and gasping when you saw how close Hyunjin was standing to you. His head was craned down to look at you, and there was barely a foot between your faces.

“___, I didn’t follow you. My friend works here and I wanted to pay him a visit,” he told you, waving to the guy behind the counter as his evidence.

“Oh,” you dumbly responded, your voice uncharacteristically shaky. “Well, I take my words back.” You subtly cleared your throat and turned back around, hoping your face didn’t appear as warm as it felt.

Hyunjin cleared his throat, causing you to stiffen slightly, and asked, “Want a drink? My treat.”

“N-no thanks,” you managed to reply, internally cursing at the stutter. How did Hyunjin somehow manage to completely dissolve your composure?

You didn’t even get to think about the answer to your question as Hyunjin said, “I insist. You usually get a Jasmine Green Tea with boba, right?”

“How do you know my or -”

“Hey Changbin, can I get a Jasmine Green Tea with boba and a Brown Sugar Milk Tea with boba?”

You watched as Hyunjin inserted his card into the chip reader and took it out, the receipt proof that he really did get you a drink.

“Er - thanks,” you mumbled as he approached, feeling incredibly awkward. By now, Mina had moved to talk to Seungmin since they shared the same math class, but you didn’t miss the way they eyed you and Hyunjin.

If any of your awkwardness was showing, Hyunjin chose to ignore it as he seemed as cool as ever. “No problem,” he said, his hands moving together to clasp each other tightly. “Since I got you a drink,” he started, his voice wavering slightly, “I was wondering if we could talk? Just for a few moments?”

Your eyes widened and you felt your heart pick up its pace. “Just us two?” you asked, your voice mirroring your shock.

With his nod, you slowly walked towards an empty table with him and awkwardly sat down at one of the sides. You kept your gaze firmly on the white table in fear of looking up and losing what was left of your composure. Silence prevailed for a few seconds until Hyunjin spoke.

“I know that we haven’t been on the best terms the past year,” he started, and you nodded at his true statement. “I did a lot of things that I didn’t realize really bothered you -” you thought back to the amount of times he would purposely distract you in class and randomly hug you when he was sweaty from dance or swim practice.

“- but I really did those things you get your attention,” he paused, causing you to look up just as he looked down bashfully, “which didn’t work out too well when I really thought about it. And I know that now you probably think I’m annoying -” your breath hitched and you stopped yourself from blurting out ‘not anymore’ “- but I still want to let you know how I feel.”

He looked up, and the genuineness in his eyes made your heart feel like it was going to beat out of your chest. “I…” he weakly started, “I don’t know if anything changed how you felt this week but I know that I’ve liked you since you stood up for me last year.”

Right, you thought back to the time when you and Hyunjin were mere classmates (basically strangers) and you defended him from an older student. You couldn’t stand to see them abuse their authority as your elder (by only one year too), and decided to use your influence as a teacher’s pet to teach him a lesson. It was safe to say that Hyunjin was never bothered after that.

“After that I just wanted to be around you more,” Hyunjin continued, “but you usually kept your distance from people and I was stupid and couldn’t think of better ways to get your attention than annoy you.” The long-haired boy in front of you was blushing now, and his hands were clasped together so tightly you had to fight the urge to reach out with your own and relax him.

“I understand if you don’t feel the same, but I’d really appreciate it if you gave me the chance and allowed me to take you out on a date -”

“Yes,” you said instantly. But Hyunjin, amidst the panic of his mind, seemed to hear something else as his face immediately fell and he instantly moved to stand up.

“I guess I expected that - wait, yes?” He plopped back down on his seat ungracefully, shock absorbing his features as if a light had turned on in his brain and properly registered what you said.

You nodded, a bright red blush staining your cheeks. “Yes, you can take me out on a date, Hyunjin.”

“Is this a dream?” Hyunjin asked, the shock still clear on his face as he held back an excited smile.

You shook your head with a small laugh. “Nope, completely real life, I’m afraid,” you answered, gently pinching his hand for extra emphasis.

Hyunjin broke into a large grin and moved to cover your hands with his own. “I’ve dreamed about this moment,” he shyly admitted with a bashful blush that slowly spread across his face, “and I didn’t think you’d ever say yes.”

You took a second to admire his smile and how his eyes seemed to shine even in the cafe’s fluorescent lighting. Hyunjin really did have the most beautiful smile you had ever seen.

“I’m curious,” you started slowly after collecting yourself. He nodded, a silent gesture to continue. “Was this a plan? The past week, it felt different, and that’s how I started to realize…” you paused, a blush spreading across your face, “I liked you.”

Hyunjin’s smile never faltered, and he tightened his grip around your hands as he asked, “have you ever played chess?”

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