#from trying to fix a problem that turns out to be the website

[dqmeron]

「 Gradient Text Tutorial for Captions 」

i'm sure there's several of these already out there, but here's a rundown of how i make the gradient text for my gifset captions! (example)

𖥻 tutorial below cut <3 | screenshots + bold/italic/small/color text included for my fellow adhders who can't sit through long blocks of text

websites used: color picker, text colorizer, text replacement

step #1: pick your colors (optional) when making gradient text for a caption, i usually use an image color picker to get exact hex codes! this just helps me match everything even better than i could when manually inputting colors! (this is completely optional, but i like doing it, so i thought i'd include it here!)

step #2: making your gradient now the fun begins! open the text colorizer linked above, and enter the text you want to be a gradient into the text box:

(all caps is by no means necessary! i'm just doing it to make the gradient stand out even more, since i'm going to have a decent amount of text in my caption.) after entering your text, choose the type of color effect you want using this drop-down menu! color effect is essentially the type of gradient/how many colors it uses, etc. play around with this to find the one you like best!

i'm sticking with horizontal gradient, but you can choose whichever one you like! (there's also a solid color option if you want to just use a color that isn't available in the tumblr text options.) after color effect, you can choose your colors using this section - if you did use the color picker from step one, you can just paste the hex codes into the boxes.

if not, click on the colored bars, and this hue picker will pop up:

drag your mouse around in the left box to choose your color. the bar on the right can be used to modify shade.

(these are the colors i'm using)

skip over the "additional text settings" section (these options mess with the html code and cause issues when you try to use it on tumblr) and check the preview to make sure you like how your gradient looks.

if you're having a bit of trouble seeing the gradient properly, you can scroll back up to "additional text settings" and turn on bold to see it better. just make sure you turn it back off before copying your code.

now you're ready to copy your code!

after making sure any additional text settings are returned to their default/unchecked states, scroll down and copy the HTML code (NOT the BBcode). select the text and copy it using command/ctrl + C or right click and click "copy".

step #3: replacing

the text colorizer used here is great, but it does add unneeded semicolons to the html code that mess with tumblr's settings and cause formatting problems.

open the text replacement site (linked at top), and paste the code you copied into the text box:

in the "replace this:" box, type ; (leave the "with this:" box blank)

click "replace text". skim over the new code to make sure the semicolons are gone (sometimes you've got to click "replace text" a couple of times for it to work), and then either click "copy to clipboard" or select and copy the text manually.

step #4: writing your caption now that you've got your code, open tumblr and make a new photo post. look in the top right-hand corner of your screen, and make sure "legacy editor" is turned on. if it isn't, click the toggle to turn it on.

next, you need to make sure your text editor is set to html. to do this, click the little gear in the top right corner of the new post. select "html" from the drop-down menu next to "text editor", and then close the settings. [07.27.23 update: if, like me, you're stuck using the new editor, you can still set your post type to html, and gradient text will still work. the post editor will just turn your files into code when you're editing, and you'll have to fix the spacing in between your gifs (if you're using this for a gifset caption) in the preview tab. it looks super weird and alarming at first, but it does still work with the new post editor.]

upload your gifs and then move down to the caption. open the html tab and then paste your code! once you've done that, click on the preview tab to check how it looks.

my gradient looks pretty good, but i'm going to bold the text to make it more visible. here's how to use html to do that:

<strong>code goes here</strong>

here is a list of other html codes you can use to stylize your text! (they use <;b> for bold text, this is another way to do it, either method works fine!)

if you want to have another line of text under/above your code you need to add <br> at the end of the top line to create a line break (just pressing enter won't work). here's an example of how to format that:

text text text<br> text text text&lt;br> text text text

write the rest of your caption, and then you're done! here's my end result and my final code:

i hope this was helpful! feel free to send me an ask if you have any questions! happy giffing <3

[thenightfolknetwork]

I’ve been with my fiancé for over 8 years now. We’ve been friends for even longer and just last summer we had been planning our wedding ceremony. Now, his family hadn’t been the best supportively, not when he came out as gay, and especially not when he, a Sapio, started dating me, a giant. They then effectively disowned him after we announced our engagement. I think they might have had some weird hope he’d ’change his mind’ or that it was a ‘phase’. This was about 3 years ago now, and I can’t speak for my partner, but he admitted though it hurt, he was relieved to be away from them after all the abuse.

Anyway, the reason for this letter is about 7 months ago we had gotten word that his family had been in a serious accident and that his parents, sister and her husband had passed away and he was listed as next-of-kin and subsequently guardian for his 4 year old nephew.

Now, we never really talked about kids beyond some vague idea. But my partner wasn’t going to turn away the kid, nor did I expect him to. So, after the funeral service and sorting with social services, we brought his nephew home.

It has been an adjustment for all of us, getting used to having a kid around and him being in a new environment that’s more geared for my size honestly. and we’ve been trying to find a good child psychologist for him. but the main problem is… well, he’s afraid of me.

I can’t really blame him for that, after everything he went through, but it still hurts sometimes when he flinches when I enter a room or speak to him. Or how he looks ready to cry when I open my mouth. Even trying to hide when he sees me just reading a book. I’ve grown up in a mixed community, but the way the kid looks at me, for the first time in a very long time, I feel like a monster.

My partner has told me once when we were in bed that his ‘family’ had been filling the kid’s head with anti-nightfolk ideologies and even some rather… well, blood-libel comments. I think he was trying to comfort me as he noticed the way the kid had been a lot more skittish with me than with him. He has been trying to explain that a lot of the stuff his folks talked about was lies and really bad stuff, but it’s hard unlearning these sort of things. I had suggested we postpone the wedding, at least till things settle.

I have been trying to seem less ‘intimidating’, not smiling with my fangs and trying to look smaller than I really am. But I’m worried he might never not be afraid of me. And I never told my partner, but I’m afraid that he will be forced to pick between me and the kid, and I don’t want him to do that as I know either option will hurt him.

So I’m asking. Is there anything I can do to try and help seem less… monstrous to my nephew?

I'm afraid there are no quick fixes here, reader. Your nephew has been exposed to some seriously toxic ideologies from a very early age. That isn't the sort of thing you can fix over night.

I would caution against trying too hard to diminish yourself or your creaturely traits as part of this process. You want your nephew to be comfortable with you, not with a nervous caricature of yourself.

Instead, I encourage you to behave at home as normally as you can, being as friendly as he'll allow you to be and respecting his boundaries when he expresses them.

If you haven't already, talk to your partner about what your strategies are going to be to improve the situation. This is a long-term project that needs complete buy-in from both of you to succeed.

As much as possible, your partner should be exposing your nephew to the idea of difference, teaching him that it's OK to notice that other people are different than him, but that he still needs to treat them with kindness and respect.

There are so many more resources available today to help children learn about these matters, from books and films to websites dedicated to help you discuss these issues in an age-appropriate way.

Books like Paws, Claws and More, What's for Lunch? and My Daddy's A Mummy are a great way to start these conversations and to help introduce your nephew to these ideas in a way that is accessible for him. Talk to your local librarian for more recommendations.

The best way for him to learn to trust you is through spending time with you, drowning out the hateful ideas he's been taught through real, lived experience of being safe and happy in the company of people in the community. Make sure to set time aside for all three of you to spend time together, doing activities your nephew will enjoy.

Of course, his exposure to the creature community shouldn't start and end with you. If you can, consider getting him involved in mixed genus groups where he can meet liminal children his own age. It might be a bit of an adjustment for him, but it will a huge boon to him in the long run.

Finally, please consider seeking out some additional support for yourself during this process. This is a difficult, highly emotional situation, and you need to find people who you can talk to about it beyond your partner, whether that's to talk through possible solutions or just to vent occasionally.

Fortunately, reader, if there's one thing children are built for, it's learning. It will take time and emotional commitment, but with a little effort, I think you and your partner will be able to teach your nephew a kinder way of looking at the world.

[literaila]

a virus 

tasm!peter x fem!reader 

summary: 

“did you try turning it off and then back on?” 

“three times.” 

warnings: peter is an asshole, reader is an asshole (a great paring i assure you)

a/n: this was a work in progress. and now it is out on the internet. because i need storage and you need some of my sarcastic comments 

*

in all fairness, you were a little bit stressed. 

and by a little bit stressed—depending on a paper for 30% of your grade without any internet. 

or a computer that worked. 

and of course, the lack of any manners. 

"did you try turning it off and then back on?" 

if you were going to try anything it would be banging your head against your desk until you properly erased any record of your existence.

"three times." 

the man--who by the way, left you on hold for five minutes--hums. "what'd you say you were doing?" 

"trying to write a research paper." 

"on sketchy websites?" 

you take a deep breath. you try and avoid yelling at this man through the microphone. “from a bunch of google approved websites,” you say, voice tight. “what can i do to get it working?” 

“it sounds like you have a virus.” 

“great," you drawl because this conclusion had not occurred to you. "what do i do?” 

the man is silent for about thirty seconds, and then: 

“i can get you an appointment to bring your computer in sometime in the next week.” 

“what can i do to get it working tonight?” 

there’s a quick huff of air. “do you know how to code?” 

“are you serious?” 

“that was rhetorical.” 

if this man didn’t sound completely nonchalant, about the age of a fifty-year-old—meaning your age—and had any more attitude than he does, you would hang up. 

if your paper wasn’t due tomorrow, you would hang up. 

“i need my computer tonight.” 

“you could try walmart.”

“aren’t you supposed to be helpful?” 

the man laughs like this is funny. “sorry, i’m a bit out of practice. most people don't click on the link a random ‘banker’ sends them.” 

“i didn’t click on anything.” 

“you have a virus.”

“i’m really bad with computers. i’m pretty sure i’m incapable of clicking anything.” 

“apparently not.” 

“can't you do anything? you’re smart.” 

“you assume that because i got this job that i’m smart?” 

“okay. you’re supposed to know what to do.” 

“i could fix it,” this man says, “if i was there.” 

he also hates you.

“okay, great. just tell me what to do.” 

“i already asked if you knew how to code…” 

you groan and fall over in your seat. 

he laughs again. “you could ask for an extension.” 

“an extension,” you repeat because you obviously haven't thought of that. 

you obviously don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. 

“for whatever you’re working on.” 

“because that’s how life works. are you going to ask for an extension to fix my computer?” 

“im just saying.” 

“no. i already got the extension.” 

“you already got the extension?”

this man thinks you’re an idiot. 

he’s also got a very nice voice. 

“there were some… personal problems. my professor was nice enough to make an exception.” 

“but not nice enough to do it twice?” 

“it feels wrong to ask.” 

“did it feel wrong to put it off until tonight?” 

you pause. looking for an argument that isn’t there. “you need to work on your customer service.” 

he laughs. “so i’ve been told.” 

and you stop. 

you think about all of the possible solutions to this problem. 

and the man who you have subjected to your irresponsibility. 

“i’m sorry,” you whisper, knowing that he can hear. “i’m being rude. i’m just stressed.” 

“it’s okay. you’d be surprised how many people yell at me each night.”

“i don’t think i would." 

he laughs. his voice is smooth and warm. a bed to fall into and sleep until eternity. “what’re you working on, again?“

“a research paper.” 

“is it done? are you just editing? because there are libraries open all night.” 

“no. i thought it was, but there’s a… it doesn’t matter. and it's cold.” 

“you have more research to do?” 

“yeah.”

“is it a lot?” 

“no,” you say. “not really.” 

there’s a brief pause. 

he might’ve hung up already. 

but then the man whispers, “okay.”

you wait. 

“what should i look up?”

*

"wikipedia." 

"just click on it." 

"this is how you got the virus." 

you sigh again, fingers tapping restlessly on your desk. 

you've been sitting here for the past twenty minutes, waiting for this boy to listen to you. 

he hasn't, of course. it turns out that you both share the lack of social ability. because you can't seem to be nice to him, and in return, he understands none of this. 

but he's pleasent enough. he laughs at your absurdity instead of mocking it. 

and you've already thanked him more than once. 

"i wouldn't have a virus if someone was better at his job--" 

"--that's a strange thing to say to someone helping you--" 

"now, will you just read me the quote?" 

"you're stressed about a research paper in which you're using wikipedia as one of your sources?" 

"i'm stressed about failing out of college." 

"that's not really how it works," the boy says because he's infuriating. 

but also nice. because he's been sitting here arguing with you and still hasn't hung up. 

even when you threatened to steal his computer. 

nonetheless. 

"i know how it works. what does it say?" 

"it says 'find another source.'" 

you are silent. you type a million curse words into the text on your phone. swear to whatever god is laughing at you right now that you will get them back. 

swear that you're going to go to bed right now and face the actual consequences of procrastination. 

or you'll fake your death. either way. 

"i'm not going to help you bomb an essay," the boy scoffs. "i'm gonna go look at the websites linked." 

"or you could just do what i say." 

"who's the one with the computer here?" 

"...what does it say?" 

*

"i disagree." 

"you disagree on the undeniable brilliance of footloose?" 

you spin around in your chair, smile slightly unnerving. "i disagree that you have good opinions." 

"says she who has broken her computer." 

this boy has a warm voice. he has a slightly teasing tone, even when he's attempting to be serious. and in the short time that you've known him, you've already picked up on the sardonic voice. different from his sarcasm. 

"the internet broke my computer." 

"the internet is a very noble place. it would never. now, scammers on the other hand..." 

"i understood about three percent of what you just said." 

he laughs, microphone muffled as something moves in the background. "okay, so you hate good movies. noted. what do you think about good tv shows?" 

"like what?" 

"um," he pauses. "friends." 

"i really hope you didn't just say that to me." 

"there's a reason that it's popular." 

"that reason would be conventional attractiveness combined with stupidity." 

"or that it's really good." 

"you know, i know a really good doctor. he can help you." 

any research paper that you may or may not have almost finished is forgotten. 

instead, you've been talking to this boy--the boy who refused to help you fix your computer and instead has monopolized this conversation completely--for the last hour. 

about movies and school and winter break. leaving and never coming back. 

anything, really. 

he is surprisingly easy to talk to. easy to laugh at. 

and, of course, you're completely delirious because it's four am and you have a paper due in the morning. but, at this current moment, it doesn't seem to matter. 

you want coffee. 

"maybe you should give him a call," this boy says. "not for me. just... to chat." 

"i am very mentally stable," you say, thank you very much. 

"you threatened me earlier." 

"an un-rare occasion, i'm sure." 

the boy laughs because there's something funny about that. "i'm very likable." he mocks your tone. 

"again with the opinions..." 

"i can't just not share them." 

"you can actually. you really can." 

and you, apparently, can't hang up. 

*

"no." 

"wow. and i thought we were getting close." 

"as usual, you're wrong." 

he laughs. "this is ironic, coming from you." 

"i'm hanging up." 

"you still need to finish your research." 

you scoff, throwing another piece of paper at the wall. 

it's not a waste, merely art. 

"i just have to finish the citation. easy." 

"that is definitively the hardest part." 

"maybe for you, tech guy."

he laughs again, softer this time. 

you've both gotten quieter. laughter is a mere whistle in the wind. 

and your throat is a bit sore. 

you've been talking to this man for four hours.

"how long are you supposed to be on the line?" 

"it's available until two in the morning." 

"it's almost six." 

"yeah." 

"you've just been sitting here talking to me?" 

"well, it's not really worth it to go to bed anymore." 

"yeah." 

something lingers. 

"i'm peter, by the way." 

peter, you think. you wonder nothing about him. you think nothing of the name. 

you think about walking around campus until you accidentally run into someone. 

"y/n," you say. 

he echoes your name back to you. 

*

part two

my masterlist here.

tags:   @moonlarking-blog @v1ci0us @preciousbabypeter @alexxavicry @directioner5life @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @localrockstargf  @thestudiouswanderer @take-my-hand-time-boy @thoughtsofagodlovingsunflower @nyomjoon   @raindropstearsandtea @rqmanoff​

[nicoforlifetrue]

im writeing a fic for plot swap

so the plot swap post has turned into an entire fic, with a plot chart and everything, this is going to be the basic outline for the difference in au vs cannon considering canon color crew plus purple minus orange are going to be in the au. call this the character chart. if you want to go into the au blind when i post it ignore this

Alan Becker, aka the creator, dad

actually a good stick dad, and cared for them as best he could, currently mia after the hollow heads watched him collapse and be taken away by people. the hollows are doing everything they can to find him.

Victim Becker, aka the firstborn, Vic, was an accidental creation

created rocket corp in an attempt to find the creator, runs it not to dissimilar to a mafia, ruthless with anyone perceived as being in the way, over protective of his brothers has mercs watching them near constantly so nothing can happen to them. considers his siblings an ace up his sleeve if the cards are down considering there powers are much stronger then his.

the chosen one Becker, aka the second born, cho, tco, one, created to give vic someone to spend time with

after a brief stent of destruction after alans disappearance and the pc shutting down now spends most of his time either training second or keeping the home feeling like home, the only sibling actually copeing instead of just trying to fix the problem, he and alan worked on his temper but after alans disappearance its almost as bad as when he was born.

the dark lord Becker, aka the third born, dark tdl, created to give cho someone to spar with

the most laid back after Alan's vanishing, but handling it worse then cho, has not processed what's happening at all, takes his bursts of rage out on any website that bugs him even slightly, vic encourages this, spends most days tearing the web apart trying to locate any sign of alan or sneaking second away from the mercs to go mess around in the city.

the second coming becker, aka the youngest child, sec, tsc, orange, also a complete accident

having only been around for two weeks before his dads vanishing act he blames himself for it, hasnt met any of his friends yet and is lonely, clinging to his brothers for interaction, has really bad social anxiety yet always running away from his babysitters to try and make friends, most of his brothers fear as a result of there dad vanishing has focused onto him, resulting in them being over protective. powers activated when the pc shut down, has a very basic grasp on them but they tend to react to his emotions without his imput.

the color crew(red green blue and yellow)

where never broken out of their game and are still there stuck, sick of being stuck in the fighting loop.

mango tango, aka mt, dad

suspicious of rocket corp but keeping his head down for his family, never went on his rampage because gold never died. retired professional fighter teaching gold how to fight and teaching purple he doesn't have to fight, current stay at home dad.

lilac, aka mom

also suspicious of rocket corp and is also better at keeping her head down then her husband, divorced navy when purple was six and her then husband broke their kids arm, marryed MT when purple was eight, works as a software engineer, her company is offten hired by rocket corp. her illness was treatable because of vic digging into hospital record and other such databases in an attempt to find alan, leading to her actually getting a diagnosis and eventual recovery. she can no longer work in the field and works from home most days, refuses to let MT get a job so she can quit, she likes her work too much and she knows he adores spending so much time with the kids.

marigold, aka gold, big sister

unaware of her parents worry's, is two years older then purple and wants to be a professional fighter like her dad, didn't die because the hollows had gone to the fair before them, and sec had gone in when the error was made but instead of dyeing his powers teleported him to freedom. dosent have any freinds because her energy scares most people away, she dosnt mind. she asks too many questions in too public places for her parents liking, shes going to get into something she cant get out of one of these days.

purple, aka little brother

very aware of his parents concerns, also doesn't have any friends so spends most of the time with his sister, interested in the use of icons outside of their apps, aka one of the things rocket corp specializes in, try's to keep his head down but he's got a strong sense of justice that doesn't like keeping quite

[clxckwork-sun-n-moon]

Touch prompt "feeling their pulse " for SCtW AU?

owo hi we're going all in on the soft

also will be including a Y/N with chronic pain & joint problems

---

“You’re doing a great job, starlight! Now, you need to unhook the purple wire - HRGHGHHGH.”

Sun’s voice box broke into several waves of undulated static as his limbs locked up. It was only by the good grace of your hand still being in his chassis that you could immediately plug the purple wire back in before the shaking caused you to drop it.

“Sorry!” you said, resting a hand on Sun’s shoulder as his head spun slowly around, reeling from the jolt.

“Whoops! Not to worry, I mixed up my own wires. Won’t know where I put my feet next,” he said with a laugh. You quietly looked down at his legs, dangling off the side of the table, then his feet which had been neatly put to the side on a chair. Sun followed your gaze, then swivelled back to you with another, albeit weaker, laugh. 

“Right, let’s do green wire next,” he prompted. You unhooked the wire as told, rooting further in as Sun casually explained the how-to for this particular fix. The fact that he and Moon could in fact tell you how to fix their own animatronic bodies was a god-send - you didn’t want to risk Fazbear’s fury by trying to secretly download blueprints from legitimate or illegitimate websites. Instead you'd rely on the Daycare Attendant's instructions, even if sometimes those instructions would get mixed up.

You were far too aware though of the consistent ache that was running through your wrist, rising and rising in steady waves as the clock ticked by.

“Ah! Stretch break,” Sun said, all chipper and calm. Sitting back, you huffed and began to stretch your wrists, only for a much more intense bolt of pain to sink its teeth into the joint. As you scrunched your face up, hissing from the pain, Sun made a concerned humming noise.

“I think you’ve gone and overworked yourself, starlight,” he said.

“I need to finish your-”

“You’ve done enough, and it can be picked up tomorrow.” Sun’s head shifted, glancing up past your shoulder. “Besides, I think your caretaker would have some words if you didn’t stop now.”

Gentle claws wrapped themselves around you, a pair on your shoulder, one cradling your arm and another supporting the back of your wrist. Eclipse’s face nuzzled into the top of your head, his torso against your back, as they let out a low discomforted rumble.

“Rest,” he grumbled.

“Fine,” you replied. Settling back into his arms, you reached out with your free and less-in-pain hand and turned off the main light. To your surprise, Sun’s rays rolled around and retracted, and Moon picked up his hat from the side. 

“...I genuinely didn’t realise I’d gone that long,” you said softly. 

“We wanted it over and done,” Moon commented, reaching for one of his feet. “And failed to monitor your joints in the process. Go rest your hands and sleep, if necessary we’ll have Eclipse continue tomorrow.”

Your next words of agreement were interrupted by Eclipse lifting you up into his arms. Not a favourite move, as much as it was your favourite place. His impatience in the late hours would not be argued with. Carried out the workshop, you found yourself moved to the sofa, a spot that your nights more and more frequently were found passing by. 

“His feet-”

“Can be put on by himself,” Eclipse muttered, sinking down onto the sofa. “They’re not a child who needs their shoelaces done up.” Their hands were all in motion now, settling you into a comfortable spot, pulling a blanket up to your shoulders, beginning to wrap your wrist brace around the pained joint. It left you with the freedom to reach down and check your knee braces, making sure they weren’t coming loose after an afternoon and evening of wandering around your workshop while you fixed up Sun.

Your knee braces seemed to be all well and set. There was a dull ache there too, but what other day didn’t pass by without an ache from one of your joints. At least you hadn’t exerted yourself too thoroughly, that could easily have put you on bed rest for another day. Even though Moon had suggested Eclipse continue the fixes for him and Sun the next day, that wasn’t always the best case with the whole size difference and Eclipse’s finesse skills when manipulating wires or screwdrivers. You’d much rather do that yourself and potentially be wiped for the afternoon instead of having to deal with a small electrical fire or arguing spat. 

Once again, you wished that Montague did actually have opposable thumbs.

Moon ambled in through to the kitchen, murmuring a greeting to the sleepy grimm by the front door. Stiff feet joints aside, he seemed fairly slow and sluggish, but it was fairly standard fare after a couple days of high battery usage. You’d need to ask Sun to recharge tomorrow to allow Moon more energy, as much as you were certain the two AIs had no doubt already had a similar discussion in their headspace. 

“Could you grab some painkillers while you’re there?” you asked Moon, watching him fill up a glass of water.

“Already on it, starlight,” he said, raising up the glass before rifling through a drawer for your medicine. You took the gifts of water and painkiller with a grateful smile, watching as Moon shuffled over to sit by Montague before downing both.

As you set the empty water glass aside, the sofa promptly unfolded underneath you, almost leaving you to fall backwards if not for the arm that propped you up.

“You did that on purpose,” you said, giving Eclipse a squint. His response was a cheeky smile, all tease and teeth, as he nestled up his limbs in the space around you.

There was very little else for you to do other than to lean back into the nest of feathers, warmth and low mechanical ticking, and wait for the painkillers to take effect or fall asleep, whichever came first. You lifted your legs into the most comfortable position for your knees, and felt Eclipse shift his thighs in turn in order to maximise the support and comfort, a soft curve that radiated a gentle heat for you. Turning in towards them, you nestled your forehead to the curve of Eclipse’s neck.

Their purr rumbled deep through you, turning any remaining stiffness stuck inside your muscles into jelly. Closing your eyes, you let your senses turn just to touch. The ebb and flow of aches that rolled through your joints on a regular basis, still rolling around even now despite the braces and rest, although the points of contact against Eclipse were soothing under the warmth.

Curling up next to Eclipse was like cuddling with a large heating pad, and your body praised this.

Your eyes blinked open as you felt their hand start to move over you, tracing lines up your arm to your chin. A careful claw tip brushed over your cheek, and then down to your neck. His finger pads pressed light against the skin, and your own pulse echoed off the pressure. Despite the vulnerability, you still found yourself melting into it, smiling gently as Eclipse ran his finger along the vein.

“Having fun there?” you murmured.

“Alive,” Eclipse whispered back. “Living. Thriving.” He hummed happily, pressing up closer to nuzzle at your forehead. “Safe.”

Chuckling at the tickling feathers, you reached your own hand up to his neck, past the leather frill. But though you tried to press your fingers past the lay of feathers, you couldn’t find the matching pulse to your own. Clearly seeing the look of frustration on your face, Eclipse laughed softly, picking your hand away and bringing it down to the centre of his chest.

Instead of a regular heart’s pulse, you felt the soft tick and whirr of machinery, running soft and secure like clockwork. Eclipse’s fingers rubbed over your wrist brace, gently supporting your arm so your palm could stay splayed over their torso.

“Alive,” you said, smiling back up at him.

“Safe,” he agreed, once more nuzzling at your head. “Resting.” Soothing scritches ran across the back of your head, drawing your fatigue further to the surface of your mind. You wouldn’t continue to argue with such persuasive tactics. You closed your eyes once more, comfortable in his embrace, your hearts beating in tandem.

[peaky-shelby]

New Romantics | Mbappé [2]

» Pairing: Mbappé x Oc

» summary: in which an arrogant and talented football player (the best of his time as some say) and a focused and harsh critic of a journalist are gonna have to find a way to co-exist.

« previous chapter

» Chapter 2: trains that aren't coming

» Writer's note: i don't know if y'all are still interested after the second chapter because the response wasn't as big but i wrote the third chapter so here you go. Let me know your opinions and if you guys want to see more! Also im trying to find ways to make this more interactive for everyone so bear with me please.

» Taglist: @moonchildohh @formulahoe @princetongirlll818 @mavieesttriste16 @kiwisa @godessstela @hummusxx @kodzuvk @pink-manz @corbyns-smile @jayruiewo265738 @blueanfield @mrs-bellingham @sorceresski @sooblovebot

I didn't know i had to watch my tongue. Now you know that I'm loaded gun. Uh it might be true I'm too taboo.

She wished the car would drive by faster but for whatever reason traffic seemed to be working against her that day. She would be late again and it was her first day. Her leg tapped on the bottom of the uber annoyed until they reached the training center. She practically jumped out of the car to get to the entrance, her camera hanging from her neck, a water bottle on her hand and she would have walked in if it wasn’t for the French guards again-

“Oh, you have to be kidding.”

“Nous avons besoin de votre carte” One of them said. She recognized the word card but she had no idea what card they were talking about. She had no card and how was she supposed to explain that? She didn’t really look professional, she was dressed in her sweatpants and her PSG hat, she looked like a random fan that wanted to get in to flirt with the footballers. While she was trying to explain she was just a journalist and was working closely with Galtier, she felt someone bump on her shoulder, walking past her like he hadn’t hit her at all. Of course, it was him-

“Kylian!” she yelled. He stopped on his tracks, looked at her up and down like he was seeing her for the first time. Then he smiled and she knew she was basically fucked.

“Je ne sais pas qui elle est.” he said quickly and walked inside the building. Taylor jumped forward to attack him but the guards stopped her, pushing her back. She wanted to throw her water bottle at him. She backed up, fixing her hoodie and breathing heavily. She looked at her phone, realizing she was alreay 15 minutes late. Horrible first impression.

“Elle est avec moi. C'est une journaliste. Ne vous inquiétez pas.”

She turned around, Neymar standing behind her with a smile on his face. He motioned for her to get inside with him and she followed. She didn’t like having to rely on others like that, she needed to get better with her French quickly. And on top of everything she wanted to smack Kylian in the face. She still hadn’t posted the paragraph about him but she was very close in doing so.

“Thanks for that.”

“No problem. Come on we are late.”

Neymar and her run outside on the field apologizing for their delay. Galtier didn’t even look at them while he reprehended them for their actions, first Neymar and then,

“Ms. Taylor, we are very strict about our time schedules in this team. I asked you to be here before the boys.” He finally looked at her “you are late.”

“I had a problem with the guards-“

“Do I look like I care?” he asked and returned his gaze on the team “Boys this is Taylor Wilock. She will be attending trainings and games for the next month-“

“Assuming she is there on time” mumbled Kylian, he didn’t say it loud enough but she did hear it. Her eyes settling angrily on him. She drew a fist with her fingers, annoyed at the young man but said nothing in response. Hakimi laughed at his comment but quickly stopped when he saw Galtier’s eyes on him. He stopped.

“Among other things she is writing an article on the team, for JW’S Website.” Kylian faked a cough when he heard the name, ones again getting her attention “She’ll be my eyes and ears for as long as she is here, so be kind, kids.” Warned Galtier, specifically looking at Kylian. He gave them all their tasks for the day and then called for Taylor to follow him. She had to walk past all the players who were standing next to each other in a long line. While walking she twisted the cap on her water bottle slowly opening it and when she passed in front of Kylian she ‘accidentally’ tripped, water spilled on his clothes and his shirt.

“Oh my god- would you look at that-“ she gasped, pretending to be shocked and sorry. Kylian looked at her, annoyed. He gazed at his shorts and his shoes. Was it childish? Absolutely. Did she care? No. If she had to act like a 5-year-old around him, then she would. She had told him the first time they met; she was very easily provoked. Neymar and Hakimi were cracking up next to him, holding their hands over their mouths so he wouldn’t see.

“Seven. Go change. Now!” yelled Galtier while Taylor joined next to him. Kylian smacked them both on the back of their heads as he was leaving and the two completely lost it when he left.

“Was that really necessary?” asked Galtier when they were far away from the rest of the team.

“It was an accident” she defended, drinking whatever water was left in her water bottle.

“Sure.” He nodded “Your one week of this act starts today. I expect them to know the whole truth by next Monday. Understood?”

She calculated the days in her mind “Yes, sir.”

“Do me a favor. Talk with them, I want a full report of each one, individually.”

“Each one?”

“Yes. By next Monday as well. Marcos can help. I suggest you have 1 on 1 meetings with them-“

“All of them?” what she was really asking was ‘even Kylian?’

“Yes. Is there a problem?”

She wanted to say yes. She wanted to tell him that she was in over her head but of course she wouldn’t admit it so she shook her head, biting her lips “No. No problem at all.” She faked a smile. Galtier gave her a nod and left her standing alone, terrified for what was going to follow on this day that hadn’t really started that great. She huffed and puffed, rubbing her face in despair.

“Estas Bien?”

She jumped, screaming. “WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP DOING THAT- I AM FRAGILE.” She yelled and turned around to face whoever it was that scared her this time. Her entire body froze when she saw him. 7-year-old her would have wrap her arms around him already but she had to be professional, she had to stay calm.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Leo.” He held his hand out or her, Taylor shook it with no hesitation, smiling. “We didn’t meet yesterday.”

She was speechless. She was never speechless, that was a whole different level of anxiety for her “Pleasure is all mine.” She said quickly, smiling. Did he know as well about her secret? He was this team’s MVP, he was the entire world’s MVP, lying to him felt wrong.

“I enjoy reading the blog. Your boss writes very well” So he didn’t know “I’d like to meet him.” She didn’t say anything to that, she just smiled and nodded. Messi ran back to his team to continue with training. While she mentally face palmed herself. That’s when she realized, she was standing on a field, almost in the middle of it, on the green grass. She watched the players from a distance, running around. Suddenly she couldn’t stop the memories from flooding in her mind, leaking. She used to run in between those cones, drippling and messing with her friends. She felt an ache in her heart, she held her chest. Trying to remind herself of why she stopped and where she was now. What she was meant to be doing. She was so lost in her thoughts, she didn’t even notice Kylian staring.

He had just returned from the training room, still a little annoyed at her but she was a good match. She challenged him and obviously didn’t take any of his shit which made him want to go harder on her and he would eventually. That was a promise.

Taylor watched the boys as they played a simulation of the game. Separating in two equal teams and as always, she was making her notes while watching. Kylian was out of it, he kept missing the ball, tripping and whenever he was trying to go really hard with it, he’d fall on his face. Marquinhos kept yelling at him to get his head in the game, cursing him in French. Neymar spent more time drippling then actually passing the ball. They were lacking connection; it was like everyone was playing for themselves and themselves alone. When the simulation was over, they each parted around the field, each of them doing something different.

She’d take pictures of them sometimes. Raise her camera and snap some when they weren’t looking, making sure she kept the lenses away from Kylian.

“She’s taking pictures now?”

“A journalist. Taking pictures. For an article” Hakimi threw a ball at him “Who would have thought.”

Kylian caught the ball before it hit his face, making a grimace. “Should have been a comedian.” Hakimi smirked while running on the other side of the field.

While sitting on the benches she noticed Verratti, running. She stood up and ran towards him. He was making a sprint around the field and she joined him. He laughed when he saw her running alongside him.

“Can I help? tiny human.”

“I was looking at your stats. You’ve had 102 touches in Ligue 1 so far this season but only 44 during opening half on Friday’s game.”

Verratti stopped on his tracks, he did it so unexpectedly Taylor almost fell on him “Where are you getting those?”

She rebalanced herself “I’m a journalist it’s my job.”

“Friday was a hard game. Lens was good.”

“And you were bad. That’s not the point.” She shot back without even thinking. Verratti raised his eyebrows got closer to her “All I’m saying is that it’s like y’all wanted to lose. They owned the ball for almost the entire match and you were barely trying to get it back. It’s not like you”

“Is this leading up to a question?”

“Why?” her question was simple, why did that happen. Why was he so unfocused? Verratti didn’t answer, he made a few steps away and then continued his ran. She knew that look in his eyes, scared to admit to any answer. He ran towards Kylian who was on the ground doing stretches and knelt besides him.

Kylian looked up at him confused.

“You were right.” He told him, making him even more confused “she’s trouble.” Kylian searched for her on the field, she was talking to Ramos now, a conversation that seemed one sided because Ramos would barely look at her while she seemed like she was making some of her points. Verratti ran away from him but Kylian continued looking at the girl in the grey sweatpants. Danger and trouble were only one way to describe her.

INDOOR TRAINING CENTER - DAY

She was hungry she could hear it by the way her stomach whined. She searched the hallways for the kitchen making sure to keep away from where she had gone the day before and her day was brightening up because she had succeeded to stay away from Kylian. Sometimes she’d feel him staring and maybe throwing a few curses her way but she ignored it. Fortunately, she managed to find the kitchen, everyone going silent when she entered the room. Talk about an awkward moment. She ignored it, the same way she had been ignoring Kylian and went straight for the buffet. It was fish with rice. Her mother would laugh at her if she was here, she hated cooked fish, she only liked salmon in her sushi. But she had to stay calm, she kindly looked at the cook behind the counter smiling, nodding for her to put her a plate.

“What are you doing here?”

She close her eyes when she heard Kylian’s voice, ones again startled by the unexpected. She was starting to get used to it. People scaring her all the time in this place. She took the dish from the cook placing it on her disk. He was so close to her, leaning down to her ear, she was tempted to get the fork and stabbed it on his hand laying on the counter. “Currently being annoyed by a child.” She said bluntly, getting herself a glass of water too.

“This is only for the team. Not journalists” I’m part of the team you fucking moron, she wanted to say but she didn’t.

“Galtier has given me permission, so if you don’t mind-“she gave him a smile and carried her disk to an empty table to sit and eat. Kylian didn’t follow her or tried to pressure her more, he went and sat next to Verratti. Hakimi and Neymar were also in the table, eating.

“Galtier gave me permission” he mocked her voice and looked at his food. Hakimi choked on his water, coughing. While Verratti was shooting daggers at her.

“She’s gonna be 24/7 with us now?” Verratti asked. Taking a full bite aggressively. Hakimi watched the two men, his mouth half open, he kept feeling like he was in a classroom. Neymar on the other hand was too focused on his food to pay any attention to them.

“What did she say to you?”

“Something about my touches, I don’t know.” He took another full bite. “You think Galtier is actually listening to her?”

“I don’t know- why is Marquinhos with her?” Marquinhos had taken on her table, they were laughing about something. She was showing him some of her notes and pointing at the pages on her notebook. Marcos was nodding like he was agreeing with her. She lifted her hair up on a bun, uncovering her neck. There was a weird feeling catching up on his chest so he looked away. She was pointing at Ramos, Marquinhos following her gaze. “What are they talking about?” he groaned. Neymar finally looked up from his food “Did you know he drove her home last night?” asked Kylian but it was more of a statement.

Neymar smirked, nodding “Nice.”

“Kylian!” Warned Hakimi, throwing one of his used napkins at him “dangerous territory. Stay out of it.”

“She’s always showing him her notes, why?”

“Maybe because he is the captain.”

“And what does the captain care about a journalist’s notes? I want to see them too.”

Hakimi threw him another napkin “Get. Over. yourself.”

Kylian rolled his eyes, took a spoon of rice and put in his mouth. Chewing aggresively. Verratti nudged him on the shoulder and leaned down to whisper “we have to get that notebook”

He glanced up at her one last time. Their eyes meeting just for a second.

“We will” he reassured him.

OUTDOOR TRAINING SPACE - AFTERNOON

Taylor was packing her stuff, throwing everything in her bag. Training was over and it was raining again but this time she was prepared, she had already called for an uber that was supposed to be out in 10 minutes. She noticed him nearing by the corner of her eye, she thought that if she didn’t say anything at all he’d go away but for some reason he came and stood next to her, when she dropped one of her pens he knelt down before her but as he raised his body again his head crashed on her chin. She backed up, groaning and he held the top of his head annoyed. She held her chin, cursing.

“You had already seen me kneeling-“he yelled, rubbing his head.

“No one asked you to reach for it-“she spat back at him and snatched the pen from his hands throwing it on the bag.

“I was trying to help!”

“Try less.” She mumbled. Obviously still annoyed and offended by yesterday’s comments. He bit on the inside of his cheek, making a step closer. “I don’t like people invading my personal space.”

“I wanted to apologize.” He said quickly. Hands behind his back. Her head shot up, she searched for his eyes to see if was mocking her again. He seemed sincere and yet there was something that worried her, people didn’t change so quick and so easy. She narrowed her eyes.

“Galtier, made you say that?”

“No.” he laughed “We started off on the wrong foot and it’s my fault.” She listened, her eyes examining him, expecting him to start laughing in her face “I shouldn’t have said those things yesterday. I was just surprised to see you there.” She blushed, remembering their encounter and lifted her bag to hang it over her shoulder “you’re obviously gonna be here for a while so we have to find a way to coexist that doesn’t have you spilling your water all over me- or you know slapping me-“she laughed at that, she couldn’t help it.

“That’s a nice apology.” She shrugged

“Is it acceptable?”

“It’s been noted.” She smiled and started walking away, he trailed behind her.

“You know I wanted to talk to you about your notes” she stopped, looked at him. Her expression had gone back to suspicious “Whatever you said to Verratti it hit a chord. I was wondering what you have on me-“ he pointed at her bag.

“You did? Didn’t think you’d respect my opinions Kylian.”

“Marquinhos seems to be entertaining them. He talked with Verratti after you showed him your notebook-“

“That’s what this is about?” she laughed, shaking her head “I should have known. God. You have to work on your approaches.”

“I don’t understand what you mean-“

“You are trying to get close to me so you’ll read the notebook.” He laughed nervously, hiding his hands on his pockets “It’s not gonna work Kylian. You wanna know what my notes for you are? Respectfully to get your head out of your ass. “ she paused “You are one of the greatest players of our time and yet you choose to limit yourself time after time for show and pride. Six lost possessions and only 25 touches in Friday’s game and you wonder why my boss is dragging your ass? Why don’t you drop the tough guy act and admit that the only reason you hate me so much is because I’m right-“ she closed her eyes “I mean my boss is right- whatever it doesn’t matter.” She sighed “I have to go.” She turned to leave, stopping when hearing his next question.

“Your boss thinks I’m the greatest player of our time?”

She hesitated, thought about it but turned around eventually “That’s what you got from all that?” she scoffed “he thinks you could be. If you stopped trying to be the next Ronaldo and just be Mbappe.”

They stood still, looking at each other until he made a step forward. Suddenly he cared to know more, no one except Galtier had spoken to him like that but Galtier was his coach. She was just a girl, obviously not caring who he was. When she said she didn’t intimidate easy, she meant it “Do you?” he asked her and she seemed taken aback by the question. She took a minute before answering.

“I’m still trying to figure it out.” She said and walked away. “So far you’re just the greatest pain in my ass”

He stayed late in the gym that night, he didn’t want to go home.

It was lonely there and he had to find something to keep his distracted. Why did he care about what JW and that tiny person thought all of a sudden? Is that what drove him as insane as he was that they were right? Six missed possessions weren’t a small number. He took out his phone and searched for the girl’s Instagram, there were countless Taylor wilock’s. Some of the profile pictures didn’t even show their face and were private. He couldn’t find it. Then he got the notification on his phone about a new article on the JW website. He clicked on it, started reading:

“I’ve sent one of my journalists on the PSG headquarters and she has already spent 2 days with the team. When she gets back to me, she is always confused, mixed emotions she says. The team seems to lack not in skill but in spirit, like they’ve all fallen apart after the world cup and struggling to return on their roots. We have a broken-hearted Neymar that dives willingly into red cards, A Messi who is returning as a winner in the country he beat. A Hakimi that takes his exhaustion out on opponents, a Verratti that seems to be lacking moral and of course an Mbappe who has to work alongside the man that beat him to his second world cup. And these are supposed to be the wild cards, meanwhile the rest are falling apart behind them. It takes all pieces to complete a puzzle. Equal pieces. Even if some of them are golden...”

The golden child. That's what she called him when they first met, he thought.

TAYLOR'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

"think about it" said Marquinhos on the other line. She looked at her computer while the notifications on her latest post were going wild. "If they see your talent. It will be easier to trust you. Plus you'll see how the play firsthand" She was thinking about it. All the things that could go wrong, not for professionally but personally more than anything.

"fine. Yeah, I'll join the simulation game tomorrow." She agreed "but just for first half."

"I'll be honest. Seeing you against Kylian. That's gonna be fun."

"is that the only reason you want me to join the training?" She teased, petting the cat that had cuddled on her legs.

"isn't beating him the only reason you are accepting?”

Maybe, she thought. But she never said it.

Next chapter »

Kylian and Tay against each other? Playing on the field? What could possible go wrong? I Wanna say a big thank you to everyone reading and interacting, it means the world to me!! I hope you are gonna enjoy the ride and how excited are you to see these two together 👀👀 what do you think is going to happen? 👀👀

[the-badger-mole]

OMG you talked about Haley and Andy in your last post and I feel so vindicated now. I thought I must be the only one who had a problem with that one silly romance from that million season comedy show not being canon, so now I'm just happy there are others like me out there lol. Do you have any HCs for them?

It wasn't just a silly little romance. They were mutually supportive! Andy encouraged Haley to go after her dreams. He saw that she was smart and driven, and he didn't make fun of her that her ambitions were fashion centered! She inspired him to aim higher, too! Even if it meant pursuing his dreams in a different state. They were the best couple on the show (which is probably why the writers couldn't let them be endgame. Can't have a couple that actually functions as a team🙄).

So, I've been kicking around an idea for a fix it fic for Haley. She's having trouble finding her footing at NERP. After the skin patch incident, she isn't sure if it's the right job for her, but since she doesn't have anything else lined up, she's hanging in there until she figures out her next steps. She's dating Dylan again- but she does not get pregnant. He's making not-so-subtle subtle comments about how since he's starting his nursing career and making decent money, it might be time to think about settling down. Haley is dodging the hints, frustrated at herself because Dylan is nice. He loves her. He supports her pursuing her career, even though he's also down for her following Claire's footsteps to become a SAHM. She's also freaking out because she's pushing 30 (she's about to turn 25, but it is still Haley). Why not think about getting married?

But whenever she thinks about marrying Dylan, she breaks out in hives. She thinks it's some lingering effect from the NERP patch, but her dermatologist can't figure out why it's happening. After a particularly rough day at work, she needs someone to talk to. Her mom is the obvious choice, but she's out of town for work, so she goes to her grandparents house instead, thinking maybe a dip in the pool will help. Jay is out with Joe, Mitch and Manny for a father/son trip, and Gloria is home when Haley swings by. They talk and Dylan comes up. Haley ends up telling Gloria about his increasingly frequent hints, and that she and Dylan have been dancing around this for a decade, and they keep coming back to each other so maybe it's time to just take the plunge. Then Gloria asks if Haley and Dylan are really drawn to each other, or if it's just that their relationship is comfortable- like the ratty old college football jersey Jay refuses to get rid of. A nice reminder of the past, but something that needs to stay in the back of the closet and never see the light of day again.

It's a lot to think about. So Haley goes home only to find that her father has a guest. Andy's back in town, and looking to start his own real estate firm.

A lot happens after that. Andy going after starting his own business inspires Haley to revisit her old ventures, and she restarts her blog. Then she launches her own lifestyle website. She gets fired from NERP for opening a competing site, but she doesn't give up on it. Andy sees her working hard and is thrilled for her. They even start co-working in the Dunphy's kitchen as they try to get their respective businesses off the ground.

Dylan stops asking her to move their relationship forward, but Haley doesn't notice until he asks her to speak one night. He's taking a position as a traveling nurse, and he's going to be living out of a trailer he and his friends are fixing up. He tells her he thinks they're holding each other back. He came to the same conclusion as Gloria, only his analogy is an old lumpy mattress he'd slept on since he was a kid until recently. It disintegrated and he had to buy a new one. He thought he'd never find another mattress as comfortable, but the very first one he tried, he fell asleep immediately for a solid three hours until the salesman woke him up and told him the store was closing. He realized that his old mattress wasn't actually comfortable, it was just all he knew. And he thinks that his relationship with Haley is that mattress- not that she's an old lumpy mattress. She's still hot, just not the girl for him. So he wants to give them both a chance to find their mattress.

Haley's website takes off. It becomes part fashion, part travel, part lifestyle hub. She spins it off onto YouTube and TikTok (she's an early adopter). Alex helps her make sure that her body products are at least safe, if not effective, so no more skin patch incidents. Soon she's getting sponsorship deals and collab offers. As she gets even more popular, she's hired as a celebrity stylist. Her first big gig is styling Zendaya for a red carpet event. She makes plans to move to LA. She tells Andy about all of it, and he is rooting her on at least as hard as her family. At the end of the story, when Haley is preparing her move to Hollywood, Andy gives her some exciting news. With Phil's help, he's sold his first property in Santa Monica, and he has enough listings lined up to start a little boutique business, backed by Phil's company. They joke about being neighbors, then roommates. Then they finally realize that the feelings between them never actually died. The story ends on them getting back together with STRONG And they lived happily ever after vibes.

[vanyzvat]

Anti x Reader

Chapter 1: No Strings Attached

Chapter 2: His Name

Chapter 3: Jacksepticeye

Chapter 4: Chase Brody (You are here!)

Jack STILL exists as a character in this fanfic, even though he is NOT canon anymore. This fanfic follows OLD lore.

Summary: When Reader finally sees Anti again, he has some things he needs to explain... Surely with time, they will all be answered.

(A lot of things are based off personal headcanons and my own interpretation of these characters! Please keep that in mind. I apologize in advance for any errors! Please let me know if there are any so I can fix them.)

About a week has passed since you discovered the mysteries of the Jacksepticeye channel. And, about a week has passed since you lastly saw Anti.

He's never been away for that long. Part of you is starting to worry that you might've been at fault.

Did you push him away by asking too many questions? Did you know too much? Was he afraid of answering the questions you had, or did he just want you to find the answers on your own? Where the fuck was he?

You actually missed his presence. You couldn't help it- He was the only friend you had, of course you wanted to do everything within your power to keep him around.

You never even had a problem with loneliness until he decided to show up. Now, the longer he was away, the more you felt yourself grow mad. So technically, it was his fault.

You were so desperate about his whereabouts that you even bothered checking the IRIS website, trying to find any sort of news about ALTR 114209.

But there was nothing, nothing more than their awful merchandise and propaganda.

Was he okay?

You've been maintaining the same old schedule, the same old routine. But it's different now, because part of your life was suddenly gone. Would you have to deal with going back to being completely alone? Was he never coming back? You didn't want to think about it.

Right now, you were lying in bed, about to sleep yet another day away.

You didn't have much to do anyway. It was just record, edit, upload. Record, edit, upload. Sometimes you didn't even eat, you went straight to bed because it was so exhausting.

You were just... Too stressed to focus on your work, yet you tried working anyway, and it was taking everything out of you.

You were trying to sleep, but you couldn't.

You just couldn't, your thoughts were too loud. You counted in your head, you put on relaxing music, you closed your eyes and didn't move, you shifted into a more comfortable position. All that, over and over again.

But nothing worked.

Maybe it's been hours since you firstly tucked yourself into bed. Maybe it's been only minutes that just felt like hours. Time escaped you, and you were too tired to try reaching out for your phone to check it.

After a while, you finally felt your eyes slowly close on their own and you drifted off to sleep.

Finally, you could rest...

...

That is, until you heard a loud noise coming from somewhere inside your house. You sat up from your lying position within a second, trying to fully regain consciousness.

But you were so fucking tired- If this were a burglar, or just some person looking to cause you harm, you were definitely a goner.

You supposed without Anti, you really were nothing...

You got too confident with having him around.

You slowly shifted out of your bed, and kept yourself close to the wall as you walked to the door of your room. You carefully opened it, barely enough so you could take a peek at whoever was outside.

You catch a glimpse of a figure, the silhouette of a man in the darkness of your house.

Your vision turned to static as you landed your eyes on him, as if you were the lense of a corrupted camera.

It's him. Holy shit, it's him.

Anti. He's back, he didn't abandon you.

You're relieved, but your mind is going foggy. It hurts. And as he slowly turns to look directly into you, as if he knew you were watching him the entire time, your body grows heavy and you fall to the ground.

And with a thud, you've blacked out.

When you wake up, you're back on your bed, blanket covering you. Except now, you can see bloody handprints all over it. Goddammit.

Anyway.

You seem to feel alright now... You haven't been able to rest properly for a while. Maybe seeing Anti finally put your mind at ease, knowing that he actually came back.

You turn your head and see him sitting on the ground besides the bed, his back facing you.

When he hears the bed creak from your movement, his head turns around completely, his neck cracking. Like he was some sort of fucking owl.

“Jesus christ.”

He then actually gets up and turns his body around to match the direction of his head. He's bloody, but you know the blood isn't his... Or maybe it is, some of it.

“S͜oŕr̕y̢, so͞rr͟y...”

“Ju̵s̨t m͟e͘s͢s͏i͢ng a̛ro͏und to͠ ̀li̶ghte̵n th̵e mo͠o͝d̀.”

“You're getting blood everywhere. Now I'll have to change the sheets and mop again.”

He rolled his eyes and sat at the edge of the bed, then let out a sigh.

“Ho͡w a̧r̴e y͠oú f̀ee͡l̷ing? You͞ loo̧ked͘ li͏ke̷ shi̧t͟ w͜hen͏ I saw y̸o͠u.”

“You don't get to say that. You came in here all bloodied, smelling like a rotting corpse.”

“...Ca͠n't͟ a͞rgưe wi͏t̵h̴ t͏hat.”

“I'm fine... I needed that rest- I just feel a little groggy. I was worried about you, actually...”

“H̨o̕w ̨swee͡t òf you̷ t̛o͘ thi̸n̢k̵ about ̷m͝e. Yóú d̷idn't mi͢ss me to̸o m͠úch, di͝d yo͜u͠?”

“I thought you... Wouldn't come back after the things we talked about. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable by asking too much.”

To that, he laughs.

“I ̧nev̕er tru͞l͢y̡ g̢o ąw̕a̶y...”

“Bu̴t dón'͘t͏ w͡orr͟y a͏b̧ou̴t̵ me̛, yóu͞ did͢n't do anything w͝ro̸ng... I̕ sh̶ou̢l͢d b͘e the͟ o̴n͢e say̢in̶g͘ ͏s̕orry f͏o̷r̛ dr͏a͜g͠ģing y̷o͝u in̡t́ơ th̢i͠s͝ m͡e͞ss.”

“It's okay. I want to be involved in your life. You're my friend, and I want to get to know you better.”

“H͡àh... T̀han͟k̕ yoū.”

Friend.

You really considered him your friend.

Despite everything, despite all that you've seen, and all that he's told you. All the times he's dismissed you or pushed you away in the past, all the times he thought nothing of you.

And yet you still kept giving him chances, continued trying to talk to him until he broke. Why? Why, why, why?

“I saw your letter. Did you have enough time to think?”

“There'̴s nev̡e̵r͠ eno̷u͞ģh t̴im̧è t͡o t̵hi̵nk. ͞Bu͞t̷... I'̷ll fi͏gu͞r͝e̸ things out͝.”

...The conversation dies after that.

You want to bring up the things you discovered, but you're not sure if he was ready to talk about that yet. Your dream, Jack, everything. Surprisingly, Anti's the one who breaks the silence this time.

“I̸ kn͏ow y͢ou fǫund ̷ou̕t.”

“...I'm not surprised. What happened to Jack after you slit his- Your throat? He came back as if nothing happened a few years after.”

“T̨h̢at per̴son iśn't Ja͝c͠k- J̢a̢ck͜ is gone. I'̛v͡è h̴i͟d̀d̕en ̧him͞ a̶w͝ay wh͞i̧le I wo̢rk͞ i̴n the ́s͜i͝d͏el̸i̵ne̴s.”

“...What? So who is that?”

“O͢ne ̴of J̡ack͠'͢s̕... "F́rien͏ds". His nāme ís Chase Brod̛y. They looķ ve͠r̛y ̛a̕like, as yòū can tell... Wh̵ic͠h ̧is wh͏y he t̕oo̡k ov̕er̀ th̸at͞ c͢h́a̵nn̕el͘.͏ Ḩe d͞oe͟sn't̀ wan̴t peop̷l̴e to knǫw ͘th͟e ́t̶rut̀h̀.”

“I understand... I think? But, I'm surprised people haven't noticed.”

“Of c̀o̕urs̕e t͟h͟ey ha͡ven't. Ţh̷ey don't ca͜re a̢b̸o͝u̧t̛ J̸ack̛. Ţh̵ey w͡oul͞dn't n̶ơt͟i͝ce i͜f so̶meǫne͟ rep̡la͟ce̡d ͟h͏im͞...”

That's a scary thought...

The conversation dies once again.

It's hard to find the right things to ask, and the right way to ask them. You want to ask about him, about Jack, about Chase.

Before you think, harsh words escape your mouth...

“...You're doing all of this, having gone down a path of no return, for someone who probably wants nothing to do with you?”

He's a bit surprised at your words, maybe even a little offended, but he smiles through his response anyway.

“Who fuckíng ca͠r̡e͞s̡ if I'm ́a l̵i̧ttle ͜"u̧s̷ęd a̸nd̢ ̷ab͢use̴d"? At th́e ver̨y ̷ļeast I ̢c͢an ḩave̛ a l͠itt̛le fun whi͟le I͢'m at ̸i̷t.”

“I care?”

There's silence for a moment. Where is this coming from? Did you think of Anti as that much of a pathetic person that he needed to be validated like this? He's not sure if he should feel appreciative, or angry.

“...Wéll.”

“Tḩere'̡s no̢ n͜e̢ed f́o͢r͞ t͜h̀a̧t, b̸ut th̷àn̴k y͟o͡u agáin anyway.”

“I think you needed it. You could use a friend, and I'm here to fit that role. Hell, I'm glad I chose to talk to you. Even if the way we met wasn't the most pleasant...”

“Y͟oú're be͞i͜ǹg̡ too kin͞d̕.”

“Se͢ri̵ously, stǫp i̵t. I̸t͠'͞s unc̴omf̧o̷rt̢áb̛le̛.”

You chuckle.

“Alright, alright, I'll stop now. Still... I'm sorry about whatever happened between you and Jack.”

Anti shrugged as he looked away, glancing off at a wall. He sinks into himself whenever Jack is brought up in the conversation.

“It̨... I͠t's ͢a ́lo͠ng st̢óry͠. Him a̷nd̕ I ͜ǵo͏ ́w̵a̢y͏ ̡b̀ack. But I'̷d still d̡o an͟y̡t͡h̕in̷g fo͝r ́hi̸m.”

“Even if it's at your own expense?”

“I̷ g̀uess so̵.”

“Bu͟t, I ap̴p͜r͟e̷ci̵at̢e yòu for évery͢thi̡ng y͠ou'̧ve d͝ơn̛e for m̛e. After all you've seen, heard, watched. Y͢o̶u̢'re s̡til͏l͏ here, w͠aiti̸ng fo͏r m̷e ͞t̢o͘ com̷e to you. E̷ven w̕he͡n you don't kn̷ow̧ w͜he͠n I͞'l̨l sho̴w ųp ne̴xt, i͢f at all.”

“When you put it like that... I guess I do depend on your company a bit. I never realized how much I needed someone to be my friend.”

“So, in a way, I guess you've also helped me.”

He smiled.

“But- Please don't leave me waiting for this long again. I was worried something had happened to you.”

“I'̡m s͡o͜rr͢y.”

“Sometímes it is̵n't m͘y c͠h͜oi̵c̢e. If ̧I͏ ̡co͞u̸ld̷, I'́d ͏st̸ay by your side͝ ͠at̡ all tim͜es.”

“You're just saying that.”

“M̴aỳb̴e Í am, mayb̡e I'm n̸o̢t̨... B͞u͢t w̧he͢n̨ I say I ̴ap͝p̢re͝c͜i̕ate̢ you, I̵ définiţely͜ m̷ean it.”

“Yeah, now you're just being nice to me.”

“Wh͏ý wou̧ld̢n'́t I? Y̛ou'̢re al̛w̴ay͞s ńice to ̶m̨e.”

“I don't really have much of a choice, do I? If I wasn't, you would've killed me a long time ago.”

That really would be the case at the beginning of your interactions... Sheesh.

Either way, now, it's more of a lighthearted joke than anything, and he knows that.

“Tou̡c̕h͡é̢... But t͞ha͟t's n̡o̧t̀ a̧ll the̢re is t̡o i̧t̀, is͏ i͟t?”

“Of course not! I'm exaggerating. When all is said and done, I appreciate you, too.”

“Thank you̷, ag̴ain. Yo͟ur ki̢nd woŗd̶s rea̵lly ma͡k͏ę all o͟f th̶iś fee̸l̀ wo̸rth̀w̕h͟ile. Ít ́m̴e͞a͡n͏s so ̧mu͡ch to hav̢e someo͠n̡e lik̵e̢ ̵you to ͏r͟un ͘t͜o.”

“It's nothing, really.”

“Now... Could you please go get yourself cleaned. Why did you show up all bloodied anyway?”

“I̷ was̢... In͜ á hu̧rry̷.”

“Ànd then I cau͞s̴ed̡ you to p͏ass̢ out, a̧n̨d Į ̕want͏ed̀ ţo͟ sta̸y so I çou̧ld́ bé the̵r͞é whe͘n y̕ou̵ ͞w͏oke ưp... In c̨àse y̵ǫu̧ n̷e̢ed͢ed̕ so̶m̢ethi͜ng͏.”

Did he actually feel guilty over that? Or was he just saying so because he felt like he should?

“...You wanted to keep me company?”

“I͞ woul͠d͝ ̢ra͝t̸h̷er cut m͏y͠ he͝ad͞ ̶òf͞f ̷tha͏n̨ ādmit that.”

“It's okay... You basically already did, anyway.”

And with that, Anti headed into your bathroom to get himself cleaned up. You weren't sure if your shower would still be white after he was done, but he needed it, so... It was a sacrifice you were willing to make.

[natalieironside]

Masters of the World, part 1

Hey there, Age of Mythology fans! You can head on over to https://www.patreon.com/posts/77895021 and download the first map in a campaign I been working on (nothing is for sale, I'm just hosting it there while I work on my big-girl website)

Heyyy everybody, here's one of my side projects!  I'm making a custom campaign for the super great historical fantasy RTS game Age of Mythology: Extended Edition,which I'm pretty sure at least one other person on Earth still plays.  You can get it here if you don't have it:  https://store.steampowered.com/app/266840/Age_of_Mythology_Extended_Edition/  It's been a lifelong favorite since I was a kid and it's a great relic of the early 2000s RTS golden age; highly recommend.  Once you've got the base game plus the Titans and Tales Of The Dragon xpacks, you can just drop this bad boy into the "scenarios" folder in your game files and you'll be good to go.  More on the technical issues in a minute, but if you run into any problems try opening it in the editor and just selecting one of Player 1's units and that should fix it. 

First, a word on the production.  To put it bluntly the AoM scenario editor absolutely stinks.  A lot of stuff just straight up doesn't work.  For one thing, I've confirmed with other mapmakers that the campaign maker is irreparably broken and the only way to knit all the scenarios into a campaign is to manually write an XML document, which . . . I am not doing that.  Also, a lot of the text-based storytelling elements from AoE2 were cut and replaced with visual ones, and listen Ensemble Studios I love you but I am not going to sit here for hours and make an entire claymation movie one if-then statement at a time.

All this is to say that this scenario is not done, but it is as done as it's ever going to get, so I'm just gonna send it.

Masters of the World part 1 is a single-player battle royale (well technically it's 1v1v1v1v1v3 but who's counting) build-and-destroy map with 7 AI players.  Much like Swords of Outremer, I went a little wild with this one and as a consequence it's mad chunky.  I recommend playing with your video settings turned alllll the way down.  Also much like Swords of Outremer, I used an RMS for the skeleton; this one is Alfheim.  I'm planning on telling this story in about 7 or 8 single-player maps, and you can expect Masters of the World part 2: The Fields of Pentecost sometime soonish.

***

Masters of the World is a high fantasy scenario where you play as Ajax Ironroot, king of the dwarves, who has come south out of his mountains to deal with an ancient threat:  The Master of the World.  The Masters, a band of mighty and nigh godlike wizards, lorded over by the mysterious figure known only as "the Wizard," have long scourged the land and laid it waste as they vie against each other for ultimate mastery.  Ajax, afraid that this destruction may spread across his borders, will march forth to challenge the Masters on their own terms . . . But, to challenge them means becoming a Master of the World oneself.  

Featuring a robust cast of characters, including the vain and proud Lady Pentecost, queen of the elves, and the mysterious vampire lord Gretta, Duchess of Shadows, as well as various and sundry other original the characters (do not steal).  If you like protracted mountain sieges and massive endgame doomstack fights, like I do, this should serve; during playtesting I let the AI duke it out amongst themselves and they whupped on one another with no clear contender for like 6 or 7 hours until the game ran out of memory and crashed. 

Have fun and let me know what you think!  :)

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #75

I'm home. It is 10:18PM where I live, and I have only just now been able to settle down enough to write this letter. After setting down all my things, one of the first things I ended up doing was clinging to M and crying; I love him a lot, and it's hard to be away from him for such a long time. Our cats missed J and I, too. Hunter has firmly nestled himself against my body, and is purring very loudly as I am writing this, hahaha!

J, Br, and I ended up all driving home together. As it turns out, the airplane has a few small mechanical problems with the back wheel that make it not 100% safe to land. So this week, the mechanical issues will be fixed, and J will return to Pennsylvania on his own in a rental car next week.

I don't so much enjoy the idea of him making such a long trip solo. But he is an adult human, and despite my worries and misgivings (J has a tendency to neglect his self-care when he's on his own), he must be free to use his will as he chooses.

As I write this, M, J, and I are all sitting together, and M is playing the new segment of your new story. I must say, your planet is breathtakingly beautiful. I understand why you would do everything in your power to protect it.

Where are you, I wonder? Are you able to directly witness the splendor of your planet with all your senses, at your leisure? Sometimes I like to imagine a version of events in which you are safe, and you get to rest in a hammock that hangs on a willow tree, on a warm, breezy spring day, with the sound of windchimes tinkling nearby.

Something kind of like this - I didn't take this video, but I did search for "wind chime willow" on a website in my world called YouTube; they have all kinds of amazing things to see there:

I think this one has better audio though:

But if you want windchimes by themselves, you can use this one:

…And if you want wooshy tree sounds by themselves, you can use this one:

Yesterday after I wrote my letter to you, and today on the way home, several amazing developments occurred in the nature of the relationship between two people I care very much for!! I am ecstatic about it, but at the same time, my brain is a bit too soupy to talk about it properly. I'll tell you more as things unfold, and after I've rested some!

Also on the way home, J, Br, and I went to a grocery store and I found some amazing-looking snacks, several of which cannot be found at home! Here are some pictures...

I have never seen red velvet cake milk before, but I can assure you, it was VERY delightful!

We have flavored honey in my part of the world, usually in the shops that are attached to orchards. But I've never seen flavors like these:

...The dark wild flower flavored honey was my favorite of all of them. But I must say, the cool tingle of mint was a very interesting thing to experience while eating honey!

I also found this interesting bubble tea:

...Given the flavor, I wonder if you'd like that one. There are so many things in my world that I wish I could share with you and see what you think about them.

Also also, I collected a few more very curious-sounding city names along our route for you! Here were some of my favorites:

Throop Lackawanna Nescopeck Mifflinville Dingmans Ferry Nanty Glo Mundys Corner Dilltown Derry Chittenango

…I thought all of these were either delightfully silly or delightfully fun to say! And so I hope that looking at these and trying to say them might offer you just enough amusement for you to smile, if only a little. Truth be told, I'd do just about anything if it would give you a wholesome, healthy, and joyful reason to smile and laugh.

Well anyway. Suppose I'll end today's letter here. I'm pretty tired.

Hey, Sephiroth? Please stay safe out there, won't you? Your existence is one of the main things that inspires me to really live, so… please don't make choices that will result in your erasure.

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[lokiandbuckysdoll]

Frustration and Chocolate Kisses.

A/N: IM BACK!!  Here’s A little fic i wrote for @vbecker10 I hope you enjoy my dear friend. 

Paring: Winterfrost x Reader 

Word count: 536

Warning: uhh I guess just inappropriate use of chocolate  (kissing)

These are the things that were currently on your mind. Being an author online is tricky yet satisfying. Today however was not your day.

You had been excited about publishing a new work of yours to your growing followers, however upon opening your website it appeared to not be working.

So all afternoon you had been trying to fix your website. Emailing and messaging people to try and figure out what the hell was wrong.

You are starting to get more frustrated, and you stood up from your chair with a small yet loud huff leaving your lips.

Upon seeing you like this both Loki and Bucky knew you still have yet to solve the mystery problem of your website.

“ Still no luck darling?” Loki asked as he made room for you to sit in between him and Bucky.

“ No luck” you grumble out as you sat crossing your arms.

“It’s just so… ugh frustrating. Why did this have to happen today” you pout leaning back on the couch.

“ I know doll, I’m sorry we know how excited you were to publish today” Bucky rubs your knee in a way to comfort you. 

“ it’s just not fair” you lean your body into Bucky’s side.

A few seconds of silence passed before Loki got up from the couch making his way to the kitchen. When he returned he had cups of hot cocoa with him.

“What’s this?” You sit up asking as you grab a cup for you and Bucky.

“ You need to relax my love, you have done a very good job trying to fix your website but now you need to relax. You have too much tension” he spoke as he used his seidr to change all of you into matching Christmas pajamas.

“ I love the idea” Bucky smiled as he pulled you into his arm causing you to let out a happy squeal. 

“ Ohh, one more thing darling” Loki conjured chocolate for you. Not just any kind of chocolate, Asgardian chocolate.

You broke yourself from Bucky’s grip making grabbing hands for it. Your actions cause Bucky to laugh.

“ she always gets this excited and for what just chocolate” he shook his head.

Upon this, an idea popped into your head.

You take pieces of the chocolate popping them into your mouth, you let them melt for a second before you turn back to Bucky. You grab his face and place a heated kiss on his soft lips.

Your open your mouth a little allowing access for Bucky’s tongue to slip in. He can taste the chocolate, the taste of it automatically makes him moan into your mouth to try and deepen the kiss. You pull away with a smirk on your face as Bucky chases his breath.

“Now you know why I love it so much” you wink kissing his lips once more before grabbing your hot cocoa and getting yourself comfortable on the couch.

“ Cat’s got your tongue Barnes” Loki sinkers before placing chocolate in Bucky’s slightly parted lips. Loki leans down sealing a kiss to his lips then repeating the action with you.

All three of you snuggle on the couch as you turn on the tv and watch a Christmas movie. 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

Taglist:  @caothicshit​ @springdandelixn @hannibals-favourite-meal  @silverfire475​ @missvelvetsstuff​ @huntressandlioness1​ @huntress-artemiss​

[jeonjaemark]

↳ Where We Left Off | six | {prev./next}

au masterlist

{taglist: @itsdnguyenxoxo @kpopjackie @markleepooh @enhacolor @nanamioo }

After endless meetings the entire week, it was a nice change of pace to hear the waves crashing onto the shore and loud screams from children in the distance. The very thought of having to fake another genuine smile and sit through another presentation made me want to pull my hair out. I love what I do for my career, and running my own up-and-rising website for whatever I want to create is something I wouldn't trade the world for. However, being able to spend quality time with Jia meant more to me and it was surprisingly less stressful.

"Mama! Mama!" Her soft voice coos.

I break out of my thoughts dropping my eyes down to Jia. Her tiny legs kicking and splashing the water around her while sprinting toward me. I smile watching her in her denim shorts and blue Minnie Mouse tank top. Her cold hands touch my skin making me shiver which causes her to giggle. She must have noticed my reaction because she started running her hands all around my warm legs. Each time she giggles louder and louder the more I shriek.

"You think you're funny Jia, huh?" I quirk an eyebrow holding her hands. I squat down to her level as she squirms giggling in my hold.

I take my other free hand tickling her sides. High-pitched squeals leave her mouth. She tries her best to angle her body away from me. The corners of my mouth curve up watching Jia laugh with her head toss back and my fingers tickling her. She stomps her feet into the water causing small splashes onto her clothes and mine.

"Ma'am Y/N! Ma'am Y/N!" Yaya Lexy shouts from behind me. I turn around smiling but it quickly fades seeing her hold my grey-case phone with an incoming call on the screen. She's holding my work phone.

I shrug my shoulders and reach down towards Jia. She cries behind me wanting to play with the water longer while I force my steps out of the water and closer to the shore. I gently place Jia on the sand, her eyes staring out to the ocean watching other people continue to play in the water. Yaya Lexy holds the phone out closer to me. Her eyes fill with guilt over the disturbance.

"Ma'am Jihyo has been trying to reach you nonstop. I already told her you don't take calls while you're with Jia. They're telling me it is an emergency. I am sorry."

"Mama! Wawa! Mama! Wawa!" Jia whines tugging at the bottom hem of my shorts.

"It's okay. I understand. I will take this call." I reassure her there was no problem. "Can you bring Jia back to water? I think she still wants to play more."

She nods following my request. I thank her before Jia goes running back to the water again. I huff a breath scrolling through the multiple messages Jihyo has left me. A majority of her messages kept repeating that her calls were an emergency and important. I dial her work number hearing the line ring a few times before she picks up.

"Thank God you called back! Y/N there is a problem with the design we sent to the manu!" Jihyo frantically spat through the other line.

While Jihyo explains the situation while my eyes were focus on Jia playing in the water but they drop down to the sand after processing her words. My hand press to my forehead feeling the stress starting to build back up again. For weeks I have been working with the team on the designs for the new launch of our hair clips, tote bags, and various clothing items. There were many drafts and write-outs over the design and how to perfect it in order to gain approval for the manufacturer to use. I look back at Jia seeing her still splashing around in the water with Yaya Lexy nearby. I move away to a secluded area to talk out the issue with Jihyo.

-

One call after the next there is no greater feeling than being able to work out an issue that happens at work. Luckily one of the managers were able to clear the misunderstanding and still use the design we submitted and fix the errors. I slide my phone back into my bag shutting it off and walk back to the water searching for Jia and Yaya Lexy. The beach became calmer with not many people splashing in the water. The sand where multiple beach towels were placed along with huge umbrellas and tents slowly disappears as groups pack up for the day. The loud chaos of music, laughter, and screams simmering down.

I furrow my eyebrows together in confusion. There weren't many people on the beach anymore. Why is it so difficult to spot Jia and Yaya Lexy? My eyes carefully scan the area a few more times, thinking I didn't spot them right away. A loud familiar voice echoes from the left. I turn around finding Yaya Lexy fast pacing her way toward me. Her eyes fill with worry and stress with tears streaming down her cheek. I wait for her to move closer to me and quickly realize I did not see a little girl with her.

"Yaya Lexy? Where’s Jia?" I ask. My voice fills with confusion and worry.

"Ma'am, I am sorry. I am really sorry... but I can't seem to find Jia." Her voice-panicking. She scratches the side of her head from stress. "I look away for three seconds and she got away from me. I tried searching for her but I don't know where she went."

A raging sensation courses through my veins. My mind running with a million thoughts and my heart pumping a thousand miles a second. It is like the breath from my lungs disappears. The expression on my face hardens as I try my best to remain calm. It was kind of hard considering I wanted to scream down this beach hoping Jia is safe. I browse around the beach frantically not spotting a blue tank top and denim shorts with pigtails in my sight.

After a few minutes of silence, I finally say, "Yaya Lexy, search for her down at the left of the beach. I will search on the right side. Shout out that you're looking for a little girl with pigtails, a blue Minnie Mouse tank top, and denim shorts. We will be able to find her faster that way."

Yaya Lexy follows as she is told before we go our separate ways. I pace myself down the beach searching and screaming out the description of Jia's clothes. Many weird and concerning stares were thrown in my direction but I didn't care. I just wanted my daughter to be safe and with me again. The further I walk down the beach as the sun slowly disappear from the sky I could feel the tears sting my eyes. My heart pulses hard against my chest screaming louder and louder hoping someone could spot her.

DK POV

Slowly walking down the shore the cold water washes against my skin. The clicking of the camera takes nonstop shots while I try my best to pose in various ways. The photographer reminds me to slow my pace while walking and to lightly kick the water in her direction. I follow her instructions. My eyes soft-looking into the distance at nothing in particular. In reality, I find Joshua and Jeonghan goofing around making me laugh. I look away from them and look past the camera. The water starts to wet my pants making me shiver.

"Okay, DK you're good. You can go dry up." She smiles resting her camera around her neck.

I quickly jog out of the water and back into the warm sand. Jeonghan and Joshua were in front of the camera talking. The both of them giggling and playfully hit each other.

"Oh DK is finally here. Can we get a few words from you about today's shoot?" Joshua ask holding an imaginary mic to my face.

"Is this your concept today?" I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Why can't you just answer the question?" He hisses shaking his head in disapproval.

"Today's shoot is --"

"Dino is here today, let's ask him." Joshua interrupts turning to him on his left.

My mouth drops in shock over his sudden action which left Jeonghan laughing. Joshua shoots me a sideglance trying to not break character. Dino's eyes widen puzzle over what he walk into. Joshua repeats his question for him. Once I realize Joshua has really skipped my camera time I nod chuckling and feel Jeonghan pat my shoulder a few times in comfort.

I walk away from the frame of the camera to Seungkwan who snaps a few shots of the sunset. Turning away from him I notice Hoshi playing with a little girl dressed in a blue tank top and denim shorts with pigtails skipping around in the water. She laughs running away from the water as it fizzles out and runs back towards the water. I squint my eyes at her staring longer than I should.

"Seungkwan, does that little girl look familiar to you?" I ask suspiciously, pointing in Hoshi's direction.

He puts his phone down looking where I was pointing. "Yeah. That's the little girl from a few days ago at the park. Jia? Is that her name?"

"Hoshi!" I call out jogging in their direction.

Jia stops playing with Hoshi and turns her head at the sound of my voice. Her eyes light up like a Christmas tree with excitement and a beaming smile. Her tiny legs pick up speed running toward me shouting my name. I crouch down as she jumps into my embrace making me laugh.

"Jia, what are you doing here? Where is Yaya Lexy?" I ask noticing she wasn't anywhere near her.

She shrugs her shoulders unsure. Her brown eyes soft staring back out into the water. She wiggles out of my arms and runs back to kicking the wet sand and water.

"I found her alone. She was just playing in the water." Hoshi tells me standing nearby. "I didn't want to leave her by herself so I have been playing with her for the past twenty minutes."

I nod telling Hoshi I can take care of her while he goes back to the shoot. Jia walks back to me waving goodbye to Hoshi. I wipe the ocean droplets from her cheeks causing her to scrunch her nose. I smile hearing a giggle slip from her lips.

"Should we go find Yaya Lexy together?" My voice melting at her cuteness.

She nods with a grin reaching for my hand.

"Jia! Jia! Jia!" A faint voice yells in the distance.

She turns her head at the familiar voice. Jia suddenly gasps before we could even move a step. I look over expecting to see Yaya Lexy but it wasn't her. I didn't recognize the person from afar. She seems young may be in her early twenties dressed in a white crop muscle tee and khaki shorts. Her hairstyle is in soft curls. She waves in our direction calling Jia's name repeatedly. Before I could even ask Jia who the woman is Jia goes running.

"Mama! Mama! Mama!" She cries bursting into her arms.

She picks up Jia in her arms holding her tightly facing her back to me. Her hand caressing her head and back sprinkling kisses across her face. I smile walking towards them. The closer I walk to them something in my stomach starts to rise. I couldn't figure out why I suddenly felt warm and nervous.

"Jia, I am so happy you're safe. You had Mama so worried." She cries wiping away her tears. "Please next time don't go running off without me or Yaya Lexy."

Her voice. I recognize her voice. It is a voice I could never forget. Could it be? If my gut feeling is right, I haven't heard that voice in over two years. I shake my head thinking it has to be wrong. There is no way it could be who I am thinking of. It has to be someone with a similar voice. I break out of my thoughts hearing Jia mumble something.

"Sorry, Mama," Jia mumbles wrapping her arms around her mom's neck. She presses a kiss to her cheek making her laugh.

Butterflies start to flutter in my stomach at the sound of her laugh. I remember that laugh too. I kept pinching myself in denial that it could be who I am thinking of. There's no way she would be here today when she never talk to me about it before. My mind is just overthinking it again. I exhale a breath trying to calm my thoughts.

"Who were you playing with?" Her voice soft and warm.

"DK! DK!" Jia murmurs unclearly.

"Who?" She asked confused over what she was saying.

Jia's eyes meet mine lighting up again. The corner of her lips curves up as she points at me. I smile at her allowing Jia and her mom to have their space. She turns around in confusion and curiosity. Her hair whips behind her shoulders as if this was a shampoo and conditioner advertisement. Her soft eyes flutter a few times before they meet mine. She greets me with a warm grin on her lips.

Y/N. It's really her.

Y/N POV

I furrow my eyebrows noticing Jia pointing behind me. Her smile beaming at the person. I spin around meeting his brown eyes and warm smile. My heart stops dropping into the pit of my stomach. There's no way. Lee Dokyeom.

Jia wiggles out from my embrace walking over to him. Her small hand only being able to hold one of his fingers. She pulls him closer to me with her smile never leaving her lips. She seems to be very comfortable with him. For a second my heart flutters seeing the way she looks fondly at him.

Does she recognize him or feel a connection to him? Jia isn't really warm towards strangers. She usually turns them away or clings to me. Wait! How does DK know Jia? Have they met before? Many thoughts flood through my brain staring at the man I thought I would never see again.

I freeze in place in disbelief and shock unable to form a single word or sentence. Jia mindlessly stood in between us switching looks as if she is waiting for us to greet each other. DK runs his fingers back through his hair clearing his throat awkwardly. The deafening silence between us made it more awkward than it needed to be.

"Thank you for finding Jia and keeping her safe," I manage to say, fidgeting with my fingers.

He exhales a breath of relief. "It's nothing. I am happy she is safe and back with you. Also, it was Hoshi that found her and played with her. I recognized her when talking with Seungkwan."

"Not to be rude or anything but what are you doing here?" My eyes drop down to the sand the moment his eyes met mine again. There was no way in hell I could meet DK's eyes for more than a second.

"We have a packed schedule. So we will be in town for a few weeks." He tells me. I could see the confusion and curiosity in his eyes switching glances between Jia and me.

"Well, I... I -- We should get going. It's going to get dark soon and I don't want to keep you from your schedule." I say before he could ask any questions or talk any further.

DK shrugs his shoulders in disappointment at my sudden gesture ending our conversation. He nods rubbing the back of his neck not wanting to push me to stay and talk.

"Y-Yeah. It was nice seeing you." He grins softly and awkwardly making me smirk.

"Jia do you want to say bye to DK?" I ask looking down at her.

She nods walking over to DK and giving him a hug. "Bye Bye DK. I miss you."

"Aww, Jia. It's okay. I might see you again but make sure you listen to Mommy and be a good girl. Don't go wandering off without her or Yaya Lexy, okay?"

Jia nods her head once more and presses a kiss on his cheek. DK chuckles pressing his hand to his cheek fluster by her kiss. I turn away from them feeling the tears sting my eyes. Jia takes my hand as we walk in the opposite direction. She turns back waving at him but I couldn't bring myself to look at DK. A lingering sadness and guilt settle into my stomach.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Health Update, for those who might notice or care!

So, here's my consequences for needing healthcare and trying to get it:

A humiliating phone appointment, wherein I did at least manage to plead successfully for an in-person appointment, and an assurance that the pharmacy should give me the generic patches that hurt less if I ask for them, and I didn't need to involve the doctor.

A week's worth of anxiety and research and note taking.

A hour and fifteen wait in a hot waiting room and exam room (AC was broken).

An anxiety attack stemming from clueless statements reflecting just how little the doctor knew or cared about the available medications and how they might help me.

Driving, paying for parking, and getting locked in a garage due to the long wait time.

A prescription for "more estrogen" that turned out to be WAY LESS estrogen.

More phone calls, research and anxiety to confirm the above.

More pain!

A brief callback that did not acknowledge any error and stated I could go back to my old prescription if I didn't like the new one.

When pressed that the entire point of this exercise was more estrogen and that I wasn't getting it, another callback with a demand to contact the other doctor she referred me to instead.

And a referral to (it turns out!) a doctor whose office does not answer the phone, has a full voicemail box, and isn't accepting email from new patients.

And the cherry on top: There's a shortage of generic patches and I will have to refill my prescription with the brand name ones that hurt more.

No apologies. All of this is MY problem.

This has been an utter cul-de-sac. 100% punishment, no reward! This is still more help than I was getting in the States, but I'm starting to suspect that, on this matter at least, it's just down to having more energy and irritability 'cos I'm getting better treatment for my thyroid. If I had a little less to give right now, I'd just give right the fuck up.

I am not attached to this assigned gender, and I'm not attached to these gendered pieces of myself. If I didn't get crazy scar tissue and pain from surgeries in the past, I would go out and trade my tits for hugs RIGHT NOW. I have no idea what the undercarriage needs to stop hurting, but I don't care what it looks like and I'd do whatever works. It's just, I don't think I should NEED to do that. There are plenty of options on the table that don't require thousands of dollars and general anesthesia and scar tissue, but they're being gatekept away from me. "A woman" couldn't possibly need anything beyond the most basic interventions, no matter what!

I think, unless I break through to this other doctor somehow, my options are: Beg for a referral to a gender clinic, or Beg the endocrinologist to handle all my hormones. I don't know why he's been so reluctant to do that. I know other people whose endocrinologists handle everything. Maybe he just assumed I'd prefer a lady-doctor for lady-things and he'll adjust if I tell him that's not the case. But I don't know. I'm gonna hafta find out, but I don't know.

All this is taking place while the spouse is dealing with this insane extra workload for the CPA exam too. I'm getting seriously concerned for what this is gonna do to HIS health. And I have an eye appointment on Saturday where I'm going to have to explain: "IT DOESN'T MATTER IF MY VISION IS 20/20 SOMETIMES, MY STAMINA IS SHIT AND I'M LEARNING TO KEEP READING AND DRAWING WITH DOUBLE VISION AND BLURRED LINES! I DIDN'T NEED TO PAY YOU THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO HAVE THAT - I ALREADY HAD THAT FOR FREE!"

I don't know how much I'm going to be able to keep pushing on this for the near future. I wanted to write more and fix the website and put more things in the store too. *sigh* Sorry, my few readers, if you should see this. I got a lot goin on.

[toy-capsule]

barbie movie rewrite because it was okay but i know how it couldve been better

ya so i've only watched the movie once and actively as i was watching it i was thinking of ways to rework the plot.. and i wrote none of it down after i saw it. but i like this website and i should post here more so here's my nonsense thoughts :)

so couple of main changes need to take place for this movie to work as a proper feminist movie in my opinion. making it perfect or overly nuanced isn't my idea of fixing it; I would much rather improve the fundamental message and conclusion so it isn't a specifically flawed intro to feminism because that is a really valuable thing for movie's in this climate to be.

change 1: alan deserved better!

one of the biggest philosophy's of feminism i believe in is intersectionality. alan is in a very interesting spot in the barbie world which i believe makes him uniquely suited for the movie's core conflict- an opportunity that the writers squandered (number one pathetic character apologist here). anyways, from what ive seen in the commentary and reactions this movie has, is that like weird barbie, alan is seen as a bit of a queer icon. but instead of his typical pre-movie interpretation of him just being a gay man, ive witnessed many also head canon them as non-binary as well (I'll stick to he/they pronouns for them here!) because of how much he chooses to associate with the barbies over the kens more often than not. i cannot believe that this wasn't explored more in the conclusion.

this leads me into my main argument for alan- instead of simply inspiring the resolution they should've been a much more important key player. how this might happen starts with the dance off in the third act. i think that pitting the kens against each other here was a pretty low blow narratively, it really establishes a pretty unfortunate theme for the ending which is just division between the two groups. (the barbie movie is really just misogyny but in reverse and doesn't attempt to fix any of the problems it acknowledges.) instead of infantilizing the kens -which was fine at the beginning of the movie for shits and giggles but became less funny and more frustrating as the movie went on- i think a much more productive start to the beach dance-off scene could've been alan trying to talk sense into the kens (like gloria does for the brainwashed barbies.) it would have needed to fail at this point for the sake of conflict but it would have brought in an easy applicable solution for our real life equivalent of misogyny into the narrative - men (and those apart of their sphere socially) talking to and checking their fellow peers when they are doing sexist shit

after the barbies take over the supreme court and do their thing we have a bit of tension to resolve still. even though gosling's stereotypical ken (sken) has discovered that he is kenough, that can't be said for the rest of the ken's. liu's ken #2 (real character name) should probably be the one to try to enforce the patriarchy just because of the preestablished tension. i think it would be a wonderful moment to see sken stand up to him properly here and really acknowledge alan's message here of respecting the other Barbie's as people and friends (shout out ace stereotypical barbie!) rather than objects. additionally they ask for respect in turn (equal representation on the supreme court because that ending was so foul wtf) also maybe some hand holding action because i am nothing if not a poly sken/alan/ken2 shipper- this is still a tumblr analysis what did you expect)

change 2: ruth shouldn't have been god, barbie should've

barbie becoming human at the end was weird and gross. who would actually want to be human? i'm sorry but if i lived as an inspirational concept to little girls around the world i think i would've taken that power a bit more seriously.

i'm so glad ruth was included in this movie and she should still play a key part in barbie's crisis and development. but.. instead of being god i think she should've acted more as a guiding spirit to barbie or a silly (possibly vengeful - literally just for fun i have no basis for this) ghost haunting mattel. after all, all of barbie's power comes from being an idea that can persevere throughout generations, and ruth is well... dead. i think instead of asking to become human when she got agency the conversation shouldve gone a bit more like this : ruth: what do you want barbie? barbie: honestly i don't know, is that normal? ruth: yes honey, (big dramatic monolouge about not rushing to find purpose.. etc) barbie: after everything that's happened i still dont feel like i belong ruth : that's okay too. you have all the time in the universe to decide what you want to be, youre in control of your own destiny barbie: the universe sounds nice actually, but there is one thing i need to do before i go *she fucking obliterates mattel's ceo and thats how she debuts as god*

not the best but better than her going to the fucking gyno as an ending

minor changes!

I think gloria and sasha should have gotten more development, making them mirror ruth and barbie wouldve been a nice touch. maybe an ending or after credits scene depicting the two of them having a similar conversation to the one i just described would have been silly. (also please take sasha more seriously that girl is right about everything and is listened to only a third of the time she actually gets lines. she could've been an excellent dead-pan comedic foil to the more absurdist jokes of the film, under utilized fave) big opportunity to make that conversation absolutely unhinged too:

gloria: you can be whatever you want in life kid sasha: *actively pinning up pictures of warner bros ceo david zaslav on a bulletin board with a big red x and looks directly into the camera* I know mom <3

mattel's depiction was barely passable. i have had enough of major companies being posed as villains but keeping them silly and unthreatening- its unfaithful and disrespectful to real life. start them off as silly and shitty, thats fine. it matches the tone of the movie- but as parallels between real life and the movie converge in the third act, mattel should start acting like the predatory company they actually are.

their investment in reinstating barbie as supreme leader over ken despite him making more money in the name of "feminism" would have never in a star death ever happen. literally the entire board only being men was a joke they really fucking made and still had them supporting women- it ruins the entire thesis of the movie and makes the message muddy. fix that, keep them forcefully trying to pair up barbie and ken but change it so its true life: nothing more than an effort to make more of a profit and bring patriarchy to barbieland. this would've brough the climax to an apex and match the stakes to my barbie god conclusion.

anyways yeah i loved the artistic direction of this movie and the casting but not much else! let me know if i missed anything and thx for reading

[mossywriting]

Someone walked past me carrying a delicious smelling pizza today so here's a Kalluzeb pizza AU I guess

Kallus is a corporate man whose whole life revolves around his job. He doesn't have a lot of time to cook, nor does he really want to. After working himself to the bone on a project he falls sick and has to stay home for a few days, and as he's used to eating out for most of his meals he doesn't have a lot of things at home to cook for himself.

He tries to find a restaurant online from where he can order breakfast, but the only place he can find that delivers anything before noon is a local pizzeria, and well... Kallus is hungry. So pizza it is.

It doesn't take long before there's a knock on his front door, and Kallus is surprised to find it's not the usual bored, dead-eyed teenager carrying his pizza, but a tall man his own age. A man tall enough to look down on him, and who is wearing a dreadful jacket covered in tacky pizza-emojis, whose sleeves were just a bit too short to hide the tattoos covering his arms.

If Kallus' throat hadn't been dry from coughing so much he would have swallowed.

"Hey, I'm from the Bahryn Pizza. I got you your special with..." The tall, handsome man looks at the note in his hand. "Extra pineapple, extra garlic, and... anchovies?" As he is reading the note, his voice turns it into a question and he looks at Kallus as if he's expecting him to question all of his life choices.

Kallus doesn't blame him. That all sounds horrendous. He groans. "No- I, I mean, yes..." He drags a hand down his face. "I did order extra garlic, but the text on your website kept... changing places so I suppose it turned my tomatoes into anchovies." He coughs and turns away, hiding his face in his elbow.

"Shit, sorry," Kallus hears the delivery man say. "Thought they'd fixed that bug."

Kallus snorts. "Would have been nice." He holds out his hand toward the pizza. "But I'm starving so I'll eat whatever right now, even... that."

The delivery man scratches behind his head. "You sure?"

"I've had worse. I think."

"Okay... But I won't charge you for it. We messed up, so, it's on us."

Kallus blinks. "Thanks. That's... nice of you."

"No problem. Looks like you have other stuff to deal with than having to pay for this."

Great. Do I look that bad?

"Just a cold, this'll help me get through it." Kallus takes the pizza with a wry smile.

The delivery man laughs. "Alright, good luck with that." He begins to turn away but then seems to think better off it. He stops and turns back, pulling out a folded flyer from his back pocket. "Our phone number is right here. Next time you want something you can give us a call. Ask for Zeb and I'll make sure to get your order right."

As Kallus accepts the flyer, their fingers touch. A small spark moves through his body.

"And you'll deliver it too?" Kallus asks, and a little too late he notices how his smile has turned a little too friendly for the occasion.

It's Zeb's turn to blink. Then a wide smile graces his face. "Depends. Will I get a good tip?"

"Depends. Will the pizza be edible?" Kallus can feel himself losing himself in the conversation as well as the man's contagious smile.

"I'll see to it personally."

"Well, here's to hoping I'll make it through this one so you can make me a better one someday." Kallus fights the urge to sneeze. He will not sneeze in front of this man.

"Looking forward to it..." Zeb looks down at the delivery note before looking up again. "Kallus."

"It's Alexandr, actually." The words slip out of his mouth even before he can consciously decide whether they are a bad idea or not.

"Alright, Alexandr." Judging from the way Zeb says his name it had been a fantastic idea. "Try to enjoy our pizza and give me- us a call when you want another one."

"I will." And with a small wave and too big a smile, he closes the door on Zeb. The warmth on his face has nothing to do with the fever.

Kallus calls for another pizza the moment his fever is gone.

[for-the-sake-of-color]

Happy Oc Sunday! For Nihlus or any one in crisis company!

👑: What does your oc want to be remembered as? Why?

🔫: Do they trust people easily? How easily will they turn their back to someone? Have they been backstabbed before? Will they betray someone if given an ultimatum?

💧: Random angst headcanon

☄️: What do people assume about them? Are they right?

Thanks so much!!! asdjghasgh Sorry this took so long, tumblr desided it didnt like this post so its been hard tryinga get it to post

One Nihlus and Crisis Company, coming right up! (under the cut for lenth purposes) Gonna stop trying to format it and just post it cause this website likes to shit itself anytime you use its own built in features

What Do they want to be Remembered as?

Nihlus: Doesn't want to be remembered, and actually goes out of his way to make sure he is generally never perceived in the first place. To Nihlus, for Nihlus, knowledge about him is a weapon against him. Better to pass through most of life like a ghost. Jet: Wants to be remembered as a smart Captain and a Good Man if he can, someone effective and reliable at what he does. Jet would have deserted the GAR after Geonosis if he didn't believe in the cause of protecting the innocent from the horror of separatist occupation and destruction, because he doesn't believe in the republic itself. He doesn't want to be a hero or maintain a system, he just wants to end the suffering. Margo: She want to do something cool! Mostly just wants to be remembered as that awesome uncle that fixes everything everyone needs Cynic: Would love to be a beloved artist. He wants people to want what he makes. He wants to be remembered for what he can do rather than what he is. Many of his watercolor sketches already sit framed on the walls of Mary Ann's fine dining restaurants, so it could be a reality if the galaxy is kind to him. Heron: Doesn't want to be remembered by anyone except those closest to him. People would be harder to lure in to back alleys to try and mug him if they know to stay away from the guy with the prosthetic leg. And how can he commit crimes against the force gods if no one attacks him first? Lake: Chronically unsure, Lake thinks he wants to be remembered as a decent guy all things considered. Thinks they're all going to be remembered as monsters, but whatever. That's whoever comes next's problem to deal with, he's just trying to have fun and stay alive. Torch: Torch doesn't care if or how he's remembered after he's gone, he's also just here to have a good time while he can. His captain would probably say he's going to be remembered as a goofy problem soldier, but he's going to be remembered as absolutely devotional to his squad, and an excellent sharpshooter. Sprig: He wants to be remembered like a kickass fantasy spy advisor like leliana or zeveran from dragon age. Course the only reason they're deeds are known is because they're part of a video game. Maybe.... he thinks about writing a blackmail book. It would highly embarrass so many senators and office officials for petty (usually illegally so) shit, but that's what they get for legally making him the guy who had to deal with all the bomb threats by chance of birth. Empty buildings give him time to riffle through their shit.

-

Do they trust people easily? How easily will they turn their back to someone? Have they been backstabbed before? Will they betray someone if given an ultimatum?

Nihlus: He trusts trustworthy people.... as long as they aren't Jedi or Sith. Anyone capable of resisting his ability to unconditionally access their thoughts and intentions is an eventual threat even if they chose not to resist him.

-He doesn't do things for the good of doing it, if he wants to help even at risk to himself, he really has to like someone. Otherwise that honor is reserved for his clan, for whom he would give himself at the lightest provocation.

-Nihlus ended up in the Era of the Clone Wars due to being locked into a stasis chamber in his archive meant for fragile documents by his former master and oldest friend, Kishta, who had lured him in there to prevent his attempted assassination of the sith emporor for the destruction of his previous clan

- Nihlus is physcially incapable of betraying any of his squad no matter the cost (one of Jets orders), nor would he want to if he could. that is trust for Nihlus. Anyone else is fair game to whatever else serves the needs of him and his people

Jet: Has a healthy suspicion of others because to do otherwise would be irresponsible, but it does not stop him from reaching out, from trying, when he feels that the person is worth it

- Jet will never turn his back on his squad, his family, by his own admission. Has, though, on numerous occasions given some orders that put them in unnecessary danger for appearances sake. no one is perfect.

-Jet has never been truly back-stabbed, but he has been lied to on numerous occasions

-Jet... is initially ready to trade Nihlus life if and when he has to, for the sake of his squad and their family, as was his deal when becoming the Siths Captain. However, the longer he has him, the less likely he is to actually do so. Would not be able to choose between the lives of his squad even if their lives depended on it.

Margo: She trusts hard and fast, but if her trust is ever completely lost... that's it. Good fucking luck ever getting it back.

- Puts her trust in her Captain, and would turn her back on anyone he deemed it necessary for. Otherwise, she goes with her gut to do what she thinks she has to, to be able to sleep soundly at night.

- There have been several times where Margorashly believes they have been betrayed, by Nihlus... by Jet... by militia allies... for the first two it turned out alright, the last one... is still up for debate

- Will betray anyone she has to, to protect their family. She's the second in command, and that saddles her with a certain level of responsibility damn whatever her own morals say.

Cynic: Does not trust a single soul outside of their squad, although its less of a "all of you are sus" and more of a "none of you are reliable"

- it's not turning your back on people if you weren't really going to help them in the first place. Anyone who isn't squad is just fodder for the cause, although he has far more of an affinity towards helping other clones than to even looking a natborns way

- you can only be backstabbed by people you trust and he believes his squad wouldnt do that, everything else is just an unanticipated attack

- has a tier list of who he would trade for who within his squad if he had to that he would never tell anyone else about. It's not based on who he likes best, but rather who he thinks would be able to best keep the squad going

Heron: Doesn't trust easily outside his squad, that's how you get caught. and he hates nothing more than when the jig is up, tehee

- easily, he'll easily turn his back on people (who arent his crew). The only people worth sticking your neck out for are the ones as willing to kill for you as they are to die for you.

- Definately thought Nihlus did that one thing that one time like Margo but was also wrong, although he didn't take it as personally as she did. He is well aware there are worse people them him out there.

- has a tier list like Cynic does. two, actually. one that he publically shifts around as a joke anytime someone fucks with him, and the real one that he holds close to his heart.

Lake: Wants to believe the best in people at all times, genuinely wants to

- would, in the opinion of much of the rest of his crew, would give his life too easily in order to do the right thing. would not easily turn his back on anyone that needed help

- All the time, if by back-stabbed you mean 'dissapointed', Torch is too cautious though, so Lake has never had the chance to be seriously betrayed

- Would never betray his crew outright, no matter what. the morality of his crew matters less than the vows he has made to them. Has been given an ultimatum before, and he made his choice.

Torch: Wants to believe the best in people, but always expects the worst, he has to. it's kept them alive before, and it will do so again.

- will trust easily, and will break that trust easily if he thinks he detects the slightest threat. His squad comes first, always. Will tattle on them to the Captain if he thinks it'll be funny though.

- His initial fuck-ups almost cost his training batch their spots in the GAR, but they didn't have to throw him as under the bus for it as hard as they did

- Will die with his crew before he betrays them, but if he thinks accepting the initial offer will get him a way to help, he can put up a pretty convincing front

Sprig: Trust is hard earned with Sprig, but he notices potential and offers tentative trust accordingly

- socially, he will not be caught unawares. he's spent too long watching people.

- Has never been truely betrayed. had brothers who told him they'd come back who never did, but it's hard to blame the dead, isnt it?

- Sprig will betray anyone he has to, again, for his crew. Jet built this squad well. for his crew? He also has a list of who's life comes first. like the others, his isnt on top of his own.

Random angst headcanon?

Nihlus: Sometimes he looks in the mirror tries to grin and wishes he could smile in full like he could when he was young and happy and didn't had nerve damage over a full third of his face

Jet: gets migraines from his numerous head injuries

Margo: Several of the squad she commanded before she became Jets second died very soon after she transferred, and sometimes she wonders if she had turned him down whether or not she could have done anything to prevent it

Cynic: feels a lot of insecurity initially over his place in the squad, although he doesn't show it, since it was Margo that requested (demanded) he join with her rather than Jet offering.

Heron: Gets phantom cramps in a foot that no longer exists if he leans on that side for too long without a cane, and nothing except straight 'sith magic' has ever seemed to help make it go away

Lake: For better (and through worse) Lake will stay by Torch's side, no matter how often he ethically disagrees with the rest of their squad, because the rest of their batch is DEAD and Lake will be damned if he loses his last batcher, no matter what sort of monster he has to become to keep them that way.

Torch: Constantly puts up a front of whimsy because he's afraid that what he has underneath it isnt worth loving.

Sprig: So, so scared of dying. It's one of the reasons he transfered out of the ordinence corps

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What do people assume about them? Are they right?

Nihlus: People often see Nihlus' lightsabers and lack of clone armor when the squad is together and assume that he's either the Jedi, or the one in Charge. They are oh so very wrong on both accounts. He will get really pissy if they're stubborn about trying to talk to him over his Captain about mission shit he could really not care any less about. Jet: People assume that the Sith is some how mind controlling his Captain into doing what he wants, when he wants. Jet just scoffs in Blood Oath and orders Nihlus to scrub the refreshers for the third time this month as punishment for breaking some ships rules or ditching drills to hang around Kix, again. Margo: People often assume she's a mechanic, when she's just a tech. Sure, she dabbles in machinery, but she's much more capable on the software than the hardware aspect of technology. She can rewire the engines power cells but for the grace of the force don't ask her what model of spark plug the damn thing needs. Cynic: People assume that by his name and attitude, he hates fun. a real stick up his ass stick in the mud. Truth is he's an early twenty-somethings man trying to make the most of things, he's just a little pessimistic, like, all the time. Absolute party animal otherwise Heron: People assume that as a Medic he's a real 'save everyone you can, do the least amount of harm' mildly Hippocratic oath inclined kinda guy like a majority of the medical professionals in the GAR. Unfortunately, he has... serial killer tendencies. Bit of a god complex, Giver and Taker of Life kinda thing. See enough guys with your face die under you hands and your knife and it's bound to do something, warp you in some way. Lake: People may assume that as like, one of the few people with a truely morally compassionate compass of the group, that Lake would be the weak link to press on to coerce into betraying the squad, but they would be very, very wrong. He values his families life above all others, just not his own. Torch: His whimsical nature might trick one into thinking he's a fool, but Torch is actually one of the most tactically brilliant soldiers in Crisis Company, and has the best aim out of all of them. He's just... occasionally taken over by the urge to Have a Good Time. Sprig: Is a real Seems like a Cinnamon Roll, Could Kill You, kinda guy. Really great at drawing people into just talking. In reality, he's filling it all away to use at a later date should it come in handy. (rarely does it, so he always just comes off as a peoples person)