#funeral ritual

[bardicspirit]

This is Sandy. She was 14 years old. Christmas Day I kissed her goodnight. Heard her tippy tippy toes, smelt her fur and cuddled her so tight for the last time. I feel like a part of my soul has gone alongside her. It was all so sudden, an hour before I wouldn't have known it was goodbye to the girl that saved my life. She was the reason I lived so long, she was my sunshine and now my heart is ice. Your life was the best part of mine.

This is from her final walkies. I had an impulse to film and take photos as she was watching the birds. I’m so thankful the world told me to.

I’ll be doing my funeral ritual when she’s home again. Waiting and holding my breath every moment for the crematorium to call. I miss you so much 💛🐾

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

I'm allowed to make this joke, but I love that Jewish death rituals are like:

"Pfeh, for what should I spend $12,000 on a big fekakte box they see only for five minutes before they cover it with dirt?"

"Don't waste my good suit what might fit my nephew Lev if the bum should ever even try to get a real job!"

"Embalming? Don't mind me, I'll rot in the dark."

[illustratus]

Funeral Rites for a Roman Emperor by Giovanni Lanfranco

[sarahwatchesthings]

S6E22 "Suspicions"

[indignantlemur]

hello! I was wondering about andorian wedding ceremonies and funeral rights.

For the wedding ceremonies do andorians wear anything special or do they style their hair like the vikings did?

For the funeral rights, what do the andorians do to honor their dead?

Thank you.

Hello again! This is a long one, so everything is below the cut!

Let's start with weddings! Andorian weddings are held on Clan grounds either on or adjacent to sacred sites. These sacred sites are places of great natural beauty, and each Clan goes to extreme lengths to preserve and protect these places.

Weddings are overseen by both government and religious officiants, usually those affiliated with the hosting Clan in some way. Where possible, people prefer to have officiants who are members of the host Clan, as the ceremony takes place deep within Clan territories.

Wedding attire varies widely, depending on the Clan, the region, and the religious leanings of the participants, but for the most part heavily embroidered Andorian silks are commonly worn, usually in riotous colours, and paired with warm furs and buttery soft leathers. Some Andorians will wear veils in one form or another, and use of which is not restricted to males or females at all. Some Andorians prefer to wear their their hair unbound and and free for the ceremony, while others go in for elaborate styles and accessories, but this is largely down to personal preference and often ties in with displays of wealth and power. The wedding bands, called vaangviik neek, are of course the most important pieces of ornamentation in the whole ceremony and are often elaborately fashioned and studded with precious stones.

Truthfully, Andorians care surprisingly little about what is worn for a wedding beyond the fact that they must be appropriately well-made and well-appointed for the occasion. Individual Clans might insist on certain items and accessories being worn or incorporated in some way, but in general the rules are actually pretty lax.

The wedding ceremony itself varies somewhat depending on the Clans involved as each has unique traditions that have been passed down throughout the centuries. Some Clans host lavish feasts as a show of largesse, while others perform feats of martial prowess and courage, and others still are much more subdued in their traditions. Further, what happens during a wedding differs depending on if it is a case of two bondmates coming together or a full quad, but for the most part the core ideas are all the same: there is a procession, the officiant guides the participants through the rites, and then the newlyweds are escorted to a designated area within the sacred site in which they are meant to spend the night.

In the case of a pair of bondmates, the first night is spent in total darkness deep in the ancestral grounds of the host Clan. In ancient times, the newlywed were meant to fend for themselves at this point, but modern practices usually have the families of the newlywed preparing a nest of sorts in advance for the newlyweds, usually laden with gifts and snacks. The next morning, the newlyweds are feted by the host Clan and the last of the paperwork is squared away. The couple then go on a four-day honeymoon, usually somewhere very remote where they won't be bothered outside of an emergency.

In the case of a quad, the first night is not spent in total darkness, but in a suite absolutely saturated with saf - an resinous incense which acts as a powerful aphrodisiac for Andorians. The resultant frenzy usually lasts no more than fourteen hours, but quads are generally given a couple days to recover from their exertions. In the days afterwards, each of the Clans from which the members of the quad hail will host the quad for a meal and offer an array of traditional gifts. Pregnancy announcements usually follow shortly afterwards, in quads of mixed sexes - which surprises no one, really.

As for funerals, Andorian customs are just as varied. The Imperial Clan exclusively inters their dead in caskets within the ice, embalmed and perfectly preserved, for example, and they are guarded at all times. Clan Tha'an prefers cremation and then to scatter the ashes over the Clan's sacred site. Clan Sannev prefer to preserve the blood of the deceased in specialised capsules and then inter the bodies whole and unaltered beneath the ice. Clan Hrisvalar burns their dead, buries all but a small portion of the ashes beneath the ice, and maintains a columbarium housing the rest.

Regardless of how the body is handled, the deceased are recorded in their Clan's Wall of Names, which is a massive work of stone and ice kept hidden in their Clan territories (the information is also copied into more modern, digital archives kept under lock and key by the head of the Clan, of course.) Every birth and death is recorded in the Wall of Names as they happen, and their genealogies span over a thousand years in some cases. The deceased are then interred into the ice in some fashion. In addition to the examples above, some Clans traditionally burn their dead and return the ashes to the ice in clay pottery, while other Clans prefer to inter their dead whole and unaltered, and other still commit to their dead to the sea below the ice, to feed the life within the depths and become part of the cycle of life of Andoria.

The Andorian Imperial Guard curates the Wall of Heroes, into which samples of blood or other remains of their deceased are encased and preserved, and the names, ranks, and deeds of the deceased are carved upon the Wall. Digital records are also made, of course. Many Guilds do something similar, recording the names and works of the deceased and arranging displays of their creations.

Mourning rituals are a little more unified. Imperial Guardsmen handle death by bringing some part of their comrade back to the Wall of Heroes (usually blood, but hair will do in a pinch) personally, and witnessing the internment of the remains at the Wall of Heroes. They usually follow this with tightly controlled displays of grief, followed by much more private and solitary mourning on their own time. Guardsmen don't have the luxury of falling apart willy-nilly - there's usually a job to be done, and that comes first.

Civilians are more prone to bombastic displays of grief - rending of clothes, tearing of hair, the works- but some religious sects believe that such displays entice a spirit to linger and haunt the premises. Their thinking is that the spirit of the decease will be distressed by the grief and sorrow of the living and try to console them, forsaking a peaceful rest in the afterlife to do so. These groups therefore do everything possible to mask their feelings until at least a day has passed, so that the spirit of their loved on moves on without trouble.

In general, Andorians don't linger on grief, however. It's not their way, and lingering on grief beyond the appropriate mourning period (which varies depending on the closeness of the relationship between the living and deceased, social rank, etc) is a sign of some sort of serious mental imbalance - and usually one treated as quickly and quietly as possible. It's acceptable for widowed spouses to refrain from accepting a new member into a quad for quite some time - many years even - but it rarely lasts longer than a decade at the most. It's understood that the loss of a bondmate or spouse - or a child, for that matter - is devastating, and that each person recovers from such a loss at difference paces.

The actual funerals involved can vary, depending on everything from status and rank to lifestyle, guild affiliations, and such. State funerals, such as those pertaining to the Imperial family, are extremely somber, extravagant affairs, and every member of the family visible to the public eye maintains a stone-cold, stoic facade for the duration - approximately a month of mourning, including the week-long funerary procession and the internment of the deceased's remains into the ice beneath their ancestral grounds.

By contrast, Civilians and Guild members typically have funerary rituals lasting about a week, including internment, and often combine the procession with a celebration of life at the end of the week.

There are specific days throughout the year that are set aside to honour one's ancestors and beloved dead, and those days are often celebrated with a blend of quiet contemplation and vibrant celebrations of life and living. Oil lamps are lit, prayers are carved onto thin, fragrant wax tablets and melted together in little bowls, and sweet, colourful treats are left out to assuage the restless dead and the souls of Andorians who died far from home and could not be brought back. Days which honour battle-dead, especially war-dead, are far more solemn affairs and are heavily ritualised, the most strict observers of which are the Emperor and the Imperial Guardsmen themselves.

Hope this answers everything - let me know if I've missed something!

[loveerran]

A Test for Us? Or for Our Society?

I have been researching the worldwide history of gender non-conforming, third gender and other identities/roles that do not conform to the typical binary expectations of their society. Although each comes with their own unique languages, attitudes and traditions, I feel a kinship and long to know more about them.

Historically, some societies have permitted (or even honored) us and others have rejected (or even killed) us. And my research turned up a result I did not expect. I went in looking for social mechanisms that work in finding a place for us, but I found something that surprised me entirely (maybe it shouldn't have). Here's a partial list of societies that permitted and rejected us. Consider which of these societies you would want to be part of:

Permitted us: Pre-colonial culture in the Phillipines. Asog/Bayok served as shaman alongside women.

Rejected us: The Spanish inquisition in the Phillipines. They cast the women out of spiritual rules and killed the Asog/Bayok.

Permitted us: Pre-colonial India, Nepal, Bangladesh, Pakistan

Rejected us: The Raj (British colonial government of above) and other colonial powers.

Permitted us: Weimar Republic (Germany 1919-1933)

Rejected us: Nazi Germany

There are definitely nuances in the above list. For example, the Weimar Republic may be characterized as relatively permissive and the Nazi regime as actively hostile. But the dichotomy of these two (and the others) existing side-by-side is just difficult to overlook. And as the list grew, I found that there were no societies deeply intolerant of LGBT people that I would want to be identified with, even without considering their position on LGBT rights.

[enchanted-by-the-reaper]

Can you believe it guys? My first ritual, just a week away. My first ritual is in a week! Woohoo! I am so happy about this information. First ritual! Just a week away. Oh wow. Can you believe it? First ritual! Just in a week! It got here so fast! First ritual! Just a week away!

[bonefall]

Bone what herbs should be used for a funeral

(CONTENT WARNING: DEATH AND DEAD BODIES. DECAY. BLOAT. STINK. MAGGOTS, EVEN. MORTUARY THINGS.)

Quick answer: Fennel, valerian, catmint, so the mourners can still safely 'share tongues.' Mint/Lavender if the body isn't looking so fresh. Vinegar, salt, herb oil, a very creative flower arrangement if it's yikesy.

Mortuary student answer:

Depends really, what state did they find the body in?

If they died in-camp, then they can just use any nice-smelling herb. The remains won't be stinking unless they were already smelling bad when they were alive.

At this stage I would avoid the canonical lavender and mint, since it's shown that they like to "share tongues" with them one last time. Those two herbs are poisonous! Instead, go with fennel, valerian, and catmint if there's enough to spare. Fragrant flowers that can still be consumed without harming the mourners.

Now if they died away from camp? They might have been laying there a while.

Generally after about 2-ish hours, the corpse will be in rigor mortis (depends on the temperature tho, heat speeds up decay). At this point there's no smell, and they can be brought home and mourned just like a cat who died in the camp.

You can expect the body to stay fresh about 1 - 3 days, depending again on the season, but you're gonna start noticing the belly begin to bloat.

And THIS is where you're going to have bigger problems to patch up, and you're gonna smell it before you see it.

The biggest one is going to be the maggots. There is no getting around this; a forest is full of flies. A single day after a fly lays its eggs, you will see the little noodles doing their little noodly things.

They're doing their job breaking down organic matter is all!

No need to be afraid of them. If the body needs to be stored because you're pending a funeral, just bust out those mint and lavender herbs I told you to put aside earlier. Those are insect repellents-- but it will mean they can't do the customary 'sharing of tongues.' Chives and other onion-relatives could also be helpful here

If the maggots are already having a party, clean them off. I mention that ShadowClan can ferment vinegar-- that would be super helpful. Just take a mossball of it and wipe lmao. They want to set up shop near orifices and exposed wounds so pay attention to those areas.

The vinegar will also help with the smell, if there is one (if you found the maggots after they JUST hatched, about 1 day post-mortem, there might not be a stink yet.)

But you might be past just dealing with a couple maggots. You might be looking at decay. In a cat with all that fur, you're going to notice the rotten smell before any visible symptoms... but when moved, the side towards the ground's going to be wet and gross. Probably ant-y.

First visible symptoms are fur starting to fall off, bloated belly, the eyes might be gone.

Now if you're dealing with that, you're pushing it. It's probably going to be better to get them in the ground quick instead of horrifying the mourners. But okay, let's say it's not SO bad yet that you can't carry them by the scruff anymore...

But let me tell you buddy, if you go to drag them by the scruff and the skin comes off. Give Up! Just Give Up! They are LATE for dirt duty!

But you may be able to bring some of that bloat down with salt to dehydrate them, but you'd need a lot of it. I also hope you have vinegar because you're really going to want to neutralize that smell, especially if you can't spare like half a pound of salt.

Lastly, I wouldn't even JUST gather flowers for this one, crush your herbs up and get a REAL smelly oil. Bathe them in that.

I'd get creative here too, get some fresh plants to cover up anything that's poking out you don't want being seen, like bones or muscle. Bring attention to the parts that you WERE able to restore, or aren't so bad yet. If something important is missing, like a leg or a head, gather up some dirt and cover it in flowers to give the appearance of them still having it.

[theimperiumchronicles]

Happy WBW! As I continue my reading saga of death and grief, tell me a little about the subject in your world. How is death treated and thought of? How do your characters-- or the world at large-- handle grief in relation to it?

Hi, Sweetheart!

It just so happens... I HAVE A POST FOR THAT!

Well, actually I have a post for how the Horsemen and their friends handle it anyway. It was written WAAAAAAAAAY back in 2016 and is in 1st person from Abriella's point of view. This was before she was the Horseman of Death and WAY before she was the Queen of Hell/Imperium. She was just a Nephilim Warrior all the way back then. In fact, she was also a roleplay character at the time as well as my writing stories like this one for her. The other chapters that go along with this can be found in my pinned post, The Imperium Chronicles section, under HISTORY if you want to check those out too.

My brain is still kind of fried from dealing w/2 actual deaths in my real life and now sitting in the path of a hurricane, so I apologize I have nothing for any of my other WIP's, but...I did for this one and I even got it out on the same day you asked!

<3

[ghostwise]

hello…i have come to humble request Zirahuén lore….. 🧎

YES MY FRIEND the lore soup is still simmering but you can have always have a taste. (idk if that metaphor landed.. sorry 🧍🏽)

-

I picked the Urchin background for her, without much of a plan, except that I really relate to characters who had a rough upbringing. I think she had some pretty intense adverse childhood experiences, and survived for years with very little stability. In particular I think she bore witness to death on a large scale, very early in her life.

Burdened by trauma and grief, Zirahuén was adopted by a merchant couple and raised in a mountain village near a lake said to have magic properties. It was here that she began to heal, and first encountered a cleric of Kelemvor, who aided her grief by hearing her out, treating her kindly, and just letting her vent. Zirahuén took an interest in the teachings of Kelemvor on her own, years after that, and it just suited her. She's pretty devout about her practice. Death is as holy as life, and is worth safeguarding (from necromancers, undead, but also more run of the mill dangers like graverobbers).

She is specifically a Mortarch, which means she specializes in funerals. She carries with her pouches of dry medicinal herbs, so she always smells comforting and sweet. She is proficient with healing magic, for life is as holy as death, and is worth safeguarding.

Zirahuén is a Purépecha word meaning 'mirror of the gods'. It's actually a lake in Michoacán!

[wodkapudding]

lowkey dreading to see so many of my relatives at the funeral tomorrow, highkey dreading to sleep in a haunted house filled with crosses and catholic theology books.

[ghost-proofbaby]

blood sport is so good corroded coffin is definitely getting a grammy nom (ghost you introduced me to sleep token and im obsessed thank you)

absolutely they are and eddie will only take about a minute to drop and break the statue (he swears it’s accidental)

also i’m honored to introduce you to sleep token 😭 they’re one of my favorite bands!!! there’s a lot of lore once you dig into them as actual performers, but also the music is just mwuah

[mirmidones]

a friend of mine has never attended a funeral, not even for family, she says she thinks it would be too much to bear and her mom always told her she didn't have to go if she didn't want to. my uncle also does this he didn't take his children to our grandma's funeral nor to our uncle's, "because it's too heavy". of course there isn't a "right" way to deal with death and i shouldn't judge but i do judge. idk. i think of how humans have been having funerary rituals for 300 000 years... before we were homo sapiens we were burying our dead... how can it be something to avoid?

[ben-the-hyena]

Rewatching AOR again, and I realized something about the exchange between SkekSo and SkekZok when they think SkekMal is dead and deserves a funeral rite, with SkekZok being embarrassed admitting there is no rite since none of them died since the beginning

Originally I saw it as "strange", SkekYi and SkekHak did die, it was as if they ignored them. So I interpreted it as them not counting them or even having forgotten about them (after all the movie shows they did forget about Aughra too)

Then we all saw the tableboard with all the Skeksis titles on which was "Spy Master" we all suspected to be SkekUng, and there were 2 other ones, the Merchant and the Steward. 18 in total. So we supposed those were SkekYi and SkekHak. Especially since apparently in the new canon from the novels SkekHak IS still alive so who knows, AOR being even different it wouldn't be far fetched they both would be. Unless those were for flashbacks or storytelling

But upon listening to it again, SkekZok says "no Skeksis has died since-" then pauses as if self censoring or scared, and finishes more nervously and vague "the beginning...". Now sounding like it's not that no one died from the start, but no one died SINCE the start but they had at this very moment. Which is making me think that Skeksis (so SkekYi and/or SkekHak) DID die at the beginning, but it was not talked to again out of fear of death, out of censorship, and that it was so early there was no rite and they just got rid of the bodies. Making more sense why SkekSo would ask for a rite supposing perhaps SkekZok had actually done some sort of rite instead of none, rather than assuming there was one planned in case one would die which is weird from a species who refuses to see Death as a possibility

Making me also think. Everybody at this moment thought comatose SkekMal was dead. "None" of them having died, it was logical they would not know an actual dead Skeksis fall into ashes since it was not the case of other species. But if indeed SkekYi and/or SkekHak died at the beginning they should know. Meaning either they forgot/self-censored and self-convinced to forget as a denial of their mortality, OR they did not fall into ashes. Meaning my headcanon that the Skeksis originally wouldn't fall into ashes when dying but do so now only because they are very ancient and years catch up all of sudden may be true after all !

And if TDC AOR Tactics' comment that SkekMal's mask looks like a Skeksis skull is to take seriously and canon, it could truly belong to obe of them like I HC it is

[leaderlamby]

Daily Sermon #34

Let's 👏 talk 👏 about 👏 trauma 👏

Now, obviously Lamb isn't going to list all the types of trauma and how to cope with it.

Because there's infinite types of trauma and there isn't one way of coping that fixes everything.

Lamb just wants to say that your trauma is real and it's valid.

You have had a very hard time and deserve to relax now.

Everyone who has had a hard childhood, or can't remember your childhood, or have had bad relationships (any kind of relationship), I see you and I hear your pain.

It is my duty as the shepherd to herd the lost sheep who strayed too far and got hurt doing so.

And please don't compare your trauma to others. Some people will have it worse, that's just a given. It doesn't mean you aren't allowed to struggle.

Please do talk about your trauma to the best of your ability, to someone who will listen, because you deserve to be heard as much as anyone else.

Don't forget that this is what the Confession Booth is for! Lamb is here to listen to anyone who needs to talk.

Ritual of the Day:

Funeral

"Conduct a funeral for a recently passed follower and gain +10 Faith."

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Sounds like a fun funeral, but I especially like that she added the names of her children and grandchildren to the casket

I love this. Unironically. Life is short—arrange for a fun casket.

-Reid