#funny thot

[hualianff]

Modern AU where HuaLian first meeting is playing musical chairs at a company party and they’re the last two standing. When the music ends, HC snags the last seat but in XL’s haste to win, he ends up plopping right onto HC’s lap-

And then the chair breaks.

XL trying to get up but ends up falling back down and flattening HC to the ground-

HC is the company CEO and XL is there because SQX invited him as a guest. Really, XL is a nobody who just happened to help himself to HC’s lap like it’s free real estate.

The second hand embarrassment is real 😭 even SQX has to look away and cringe.

Everyone thinks HC will blow up, but honestly, he is just shocked that the one guy he thought was cute is now sprawled on his lap and oh- the guy’s hair smells nice-!!

XL immediately stands up and grabs HC hand to lift him up as well - with a surprising amount of strength at that. HC’s heart definitely fluttered.

In response to XL’s apologies, HC smiles and tightens his grip on XL’s hand.

“Gege can make it up by keeping me company on the balcony. Does that sound okay?”

A bit winded, XL nods with flushed cheeks. He allows himself to be pulled away from the chaos - and the broken chair depicting a scandalous crime scene - caused the second his ass made contact with CEO Hua’s thighs.

[sharkflan]

crowley finding out aziraphale is artistic (ref from staged)

[lipstickontheglass1985]

college student wrapped:

you skipped 40 lectures!

you spent 12 weekends alone in your room!

you handed in 7 assignments overdue! your most delayed assignment took you 2 weeks after the deadline!

you missed your bus 42 times!

you've consumed a total of 100000 mg of caffeine!

your most common sunday evening moods were: scared, desperate and depressed!

on average, you considered dropping out 1,5 times a week!

[pink-andwhite]

ethan landry mocking you >>>

"oh it's too big baby? that's so cute." then proceeds to fuck you harder, making sure to shove that extra inch in there each thrust.

"too much? oh you poor thing.." wraps his hand around your throat and fucks you faster, definitely rubs your clit too.

"you're all done sweetie? that's too bad, im just getting started." proceeds to fuck you through 4 more orgasms.

[fcthots]

Jason Todd would want you to take pictures of his face between your legs.

He'd want you to make sure that you have the flash on and have your other hand buried in his hair. Multiple pictures too. One with his face completely buried in your folds. One with his eyes drunkenly locked on you. Another after you tug his face away, hand still in his hair, with glassy half open eyes and slick all over his mouth.

If you send him the pictures when he's out of the house and busy, he'll drop whatever he's doing to get to take some more. And if you send him a video of you touching yourself to the pictures? He will go 100 in a 35 to see you and get to watch you.

[ao3-crack]

(x)

[grandadtwelve]

“UNIT DATING” CONTROVERSY

UNIT “DATING” CONTROVERSY

[urpaperboy]

Love it when a couple runs into a situation where someone/something is injured and they take it in to take care of wounds and stuff and one of the partners stays at the other partners house since they're too tired to go back home, only to start the found family trope.

[sarioh]

still cannot get over how much of a toxic sweat joel is. like if you watched his pov for mcc you would have no idea that his main schtick is that he's literally a builder on a fantasy roleplay server he is one of the most unnecessarily competitive players ive ever seen. the guy taught himself to speed bridge for tgttos and he occasionally does it on empires just to show off. he posted a clip on twitter of him playing tgttos on mcc island and the only words he says in the whole clip are "fuck off" four times. he camps the subreddit and viciously attacks anyone who places his team lower than top 5. someone so much as looks at him funny on stream in empires and he goes back to his base, grabs a chestplate and 5 golden apples, and hunts them down in complete silence until they're dead. you just know that man spends hours of his free time grinding competitive minecraft and for WHAT. to build a floating island???? to babysit his armor stand son????? NOBODY does it like him

[patrothestupid]

sorry dad

[ghxstoll]

[junotter]

Angel and Spike in ats season 5 is just like :

My (F23) exes (M283,M151) have unionized

[wabblebees]

((please rb if you vote! obv this is just silly but im curious+wanna see ppls opinions<3))

[urhoneycombwitch]

+18 mdni

yeah yeah Eddie “the Freak” Munson we’ve heard it. boring. tired. have youuuuu heard the rumors tho?? man eats pussy like a god. I heard he went down on a girl for so long she got thigh burn. thru the grapevine. I heard he got this girl off FOUR. TIMES. before he even came up for air. came in his pants, too. yeah.

Eddie “the Munch” Munson.

[fcthots]

OKAY SO. I was thinking abt Jason fucking you raw for the first time and he's all dizzy and giddy when he puts it in and he has to like pause for a sec because if he moves he's 99% sure he's gonna cum and like YEAH. i need this man BADLY. anyways...

-💌

This came out more cracky than I intended

"Fuck, Jason. Move."

"Can't."

"What the fuck do you mean you can't? If you don’t hurry up and fuck me-'

'I mean if I move I'm gonna cum."

"You haven't even been inside me for a full minute."

"Shut up. You feel so good. Can't help it. Gimme a minute."

"Jason," you whine, "please."

[u3pxx]

this is NOTHING