#gauge your closeness to. you ever wanted to dance with them. don't answer and don't make me think about it i'm goig to be sent back in time

[meirimerens]

can you come dance with me dude. are you man enough to fucking come dance with me. are you too much of a coward to hold my hand.

slow-danceable OST of my mind

[antishaman]

[ FIVE SMILES ] / i hope this is ok , hello!

@eterxeo

i.

"Hey, Suguru~"

The singsong playfulness hanging in the air every time Satoru calls out his bestie's name sends signals of annoyance down his spine.

"Su-gu-ruuu~"

He calls again, flicking the gauges in his ear for attention. Suguru's eyebrow twitched.

"Oi, oi, Su-gu-"

"What is it, Satoru?"

His voice, full of irritation but never deprived of a fond purr rolling off his tongue whenever he says his friends' name. They made a stop at the nearby arcade, and as ever competitive spirits, spent a good chunk of coins dueling each other at every single game.

Suguru lost. To an overwhelmingly majority of the arcade games. It was an off day for him; Satoru won most of the time but never by a landslide.

"You gotta fulfill your end of the bet, and I'm choosing for you to do it right now."

The younger let out an exhasperated sigh.

So, the deal was whoever won go to choose the time and place to quote and vividly mimic something from Dr. Robotnik, embarassingly, naturally. And Satoru was choosing for him to do it right as they were making their way into the commons room where their friends Shoko, Nanami, and Haibara could be heard through the door. Well, mainly Haibara could be heard; no doubt the other two were in there listening to him ramble excitedly.

Suguru shot him a glare where he was met with a beaming grin.

Accepting his fate, Satoru opened the door for him and the curse eater got into character, acting out in an uncharacteristically embarrassing way that earned snickers and laughs from the group. Satoru was dying, doubled over against the wall and banging his fist against it as he was the loudest to laugh.

ii.

"Geto-sama said you could see in the dark."

"Geto-sama said nobody could touch you."

"Geto-sama told us that you only eat sweet things because you're actually made out of sour matter."

Satoru was coming around more frequently than just once in a blue moon. Mimiko and Nanako were being told exaggeratted stories and fun facts about their guardian's partner. As they grew more comofortable with seeing the snowy man, as they call him, their bravery was showing through their curiosity. The twins would ask him a plethora a questions, show them their latest doodles, express delight when they've reached milestones with their cursed techniques and couldn't wait to show Geto-sama's partner.

With his promise to be better around the twins, Satoru answered their questions with short enthusiastic replies, dancing around topics that he didn't feel like answering, or replying back with questions of his own for Suguru to have to answer for later.

The priest would watch from a short distance away, hands either in his pockets or tethered together beneath the sleeves of his gojo-no-kesa. He smiled warmly at the image: his dear one with the two blessings he found interacting under the same roof.

"These kids of yours never run out of ideas," Satoru would complain when the interrogation was over. He pressed his forward against Suguru's and closed his eyes.

"Watch them for me while I go to this appointment."

"Leaving already?"

"Hush, they adore you."

"Who's fault is that."

"Nobody's. This shouldn't take long anyways."

iii.

The dead of night seemed to be the only time the two of them could be alone.

Suguru had gotten a lot of skepticism and resistance to allowing the strongest shaman to reside within the safe barrier of the temple, but Suguru had reassured the worries of his family that there wasn't any foul play to be skeptical about. There wasn't an ulterior motive or a trap to be set, this was simply an addition to the family. It was clear that, while they all respected and cared deeply for Suguru, he wasn't going to budge on this decision. With glum acceptance, they dropped the matter.

Satoru was here to stay.

"You got the life you wanted. Don't leave me behind again."

Suguru's smile was content. The life that he wanted? He hadn't reached that doorstep yet, but surrounded by the people that he cares intensely for, this was a beautiful chunk of what he envisioned. Laying there on the couch, his partner laying his head on his chest to listen to Suguru's heartbeat, a hand with painted nails gently combing through snow white hair. Silence enveloped the pair warmly. Absolute bliss.

"You're here to stay forever, my sweet blessing."

A pleasant smile spread across his face, hidden, but known.

Yes. Satoru was going to stay by Suguru's side and see this new world through to the end. Because if he decided that this was too intense for him, the alternative measures were simply to die for.

iv.

Suguru put in a lot of effort into his appearance, and he gets complimented on his skin and his hair. He brushes it every morning and after every shower, but a little bit extra maintenance in between didn't hurt. And he was happy to have Satoru brushing out the knots through his fine ink pool of hair.

"You haven't said a word since I started doing this. Must be a good book."

Ever the philomath, Suguru's inquisitive mind had a harsh craving for new material, or to extend his knowledge on topics he didn't get enough information on. The best way he knew how to sate this hunger was by loading his table up with books and eat up one at a time.

"I'd read it to you, but I know you'd fall asleep standing."

Satoru chuckled. "It's 'cause you're a boring narrator."

"You can't even sit still long enough for me to get through half a page."

"I'm antsy now. Give me attention."

A finger bookmarking his page, Suguru turned in his seat to look up to his parnter, giving a devilish smirk. "Should I devour you instead?"

Satoru leaned down to his level, close in proximity, ready to pounce. "Don't threaten me with a good time, babe."

v.

The two looked the most content and ignorant of the world around them when they were hyper focused on their sparring. Hell, even when they're actively throwing blows because they got into their regular petty disagreements, there's a smile somewhere in there. Bruises and scratches and pain are masked from the high of a fight, no matter the context, and there's a craving that they both get.

It's the type of havoc that should naturally raise alarms, but to the people that know them, know to mind their business, and let the duo settle their affairs in their own way.

Suguru won most of their matches. He was a natural at martial arts, and kept sharp so that his skills didn't falter. And Satoru was the only one who was able to keep on par with him without the other having to explain how to properly defend or disengage to have the upper hand. The two could go at it for hours before fatigue started to show, and even then, who'd want to tap out just to grab some water?

Neither of them were quitters.

Just happy teens in their own little world.

[filthyslashertoad]

Omg! So this might be long and a lil detailed but pls bear with me😩 A request of an angsty oneshot!

A childhood friend of Stu Macher having a crush on him from a young age and having to keep on smiling while listening to his rant about the girls he liked as they grew up (Casey Becker is one of them). Years passed on and now they're in high school, they know that Stu would never view them as more than friends so they start to move on but Stu is actually slowly realizing his true feelings towards his childhood friend when they started to distant themselves.

This idea was heavily inspired by: Taylor Swift - Enchanted😔. If you decide to write this, I'd be so ever grateful and say go ahead and turn up the angst😩

Oki, I wrote most of it and it didn't save so this is gonna be a lower quality version.

(I didn't know what to do for the last part so it kinda sucks)

Stu Macher Angst Oneshot

You and Stu had been through practically everything together, you went to each others birthday parties, watched your first horror movie together, you even went to your first dance together. Sometimes you even wished you could be closer with him, imagining what it would be like to hold his hand or to spend time with him in more ways than just watching movies or hanging out at school, you wanted to tell him how you felt and for him to share those feelings, but you knew that wouldn't happen. It never would. And it almost felt like he knew how to hurt you. Telling you about the girls he would meet at parties and how beautiful they were. And every time he opened his mouth about it you wanted to hate him, to tell him you didn't care but you could never bring yourself to tell him that.

Either way, you couldn't think about this anymore. You needed to work on your homework. There was a test tomorrow and you wanted to be prepared for it, but as you thought about the answer to questions you began to worry about Stu. What if he called you asking you to hangout or knock on your window. In your head you relayed the message 'Please don't call, Please don't call, Please don't call'. And almost as though it worked, Stu didn't show up. When you went to bed you were able to fall asleep in silence without the sound of a loud movie in the background or Stu telling you about a movie he wants to watch with you.

But apparently if a good thing happens a bad thing happens too. Because when you arrived at school you walked over to your usual friend group, Billy, Sidney, and Stu. You weren't even close to them and you could hear Stu talking Billy's ear off about a girl he had met at a party, saying how hot she was and that she had huge tits.

For whatever reason those words hurt more than they should've. You turned on your heel walking to a bathroom so you could be alone, but you were too late, Stu saw you and he was now walking over to you. "Heyyyyy Y/N, where you goin'?"

"Get away. From me, Stu." You started to cry as you walked away faster.

"What's wrong with you? Someone break up with you or something." He teased you, trying to grab your hand and pulling you closer to him.

You turned to him, "I said. Get. Away. What do you not understand?" He stopped in front of you, his eyes staring down at you, seeing the tears covering your face.

"Calm down, I was just joking." His arm goes to wrap around you and just when you felt like you were about to pour your heart out to him, you looked around. People were staring at you. You didn't know what to do anymore. What could you do? The person you had loved and cared about for most of your life couldn't even gauge your emotions, much less reciprocate your feelings.

"I think...I'm just gonna go." Was the last thing you said to him before completely distancing yourself from him. While you were away from him you did begin to move on, focusing more on class work than trivial parties and time wasting movies. Stu on the other hand had no idea what was going on, he didn't understand why you left him and because of this it lead to many nights where he would bother Billy with all of his problems and thoughts about you.

"Y'know instead of talking to me about this you could just go ask Y/N what you did wrong." Billy yawns, tired of hearing Stu go back and forth with him for the past 3 hours.

"Yeah, but what if she doesn't wanna listen." Stu pouts, staring at Billy.

"It's just an apology, doesn't matter if she listens or not." Billy falls back on his bed, laying down next to Stu. Looking at him.

"I want to say more than just sorry though." Stu looks over at Billy for a moment before turning his attention to his hands, trying to focus on something else other than the conversation.

"Why? What do you wanna say?"

"..."

"Stu...I swear to god, if you're saying what I think you're saying, I'm gonna be so pissed with you."

"Sorry to break it to you, Billy, but I guess you're gonna have to be pissed with me then." Stu moves his eyes to look over at Billy, trying to hide an awkward smile.

[tinisprout]

A Kiss to Remember

Pairing: Hyunjae x gn!Reader

Genre: Fluff, mutual pinning

Warnings: profanities like a lot, alcohol consumption, jokes of killing

Word count: 2.4k

Summary: After a kiss you spend a month of trying to figure out your own feeling you come to the conclusion that you like Hyunjae. You wonder how to deal with these feelings, especially when he doesn't feel that way about you, at least that's what you think.

a/n: Happy birthday Hyunjae Im a little late y'all don't mind that.

When you have been friends for so long is it better to just stay as such? Should I just bury these budding feelings before, it becomes something I can’t handle? I look at my hand, the one that casually reached out to him and had been reached out to by him many times before. It was only recently that holding him like that made my heart tickle. After today there is no denying my feelings, I like Hyunjae.

“So do I just cut them off or…,” I bite my lip struggling with a decision. How would I even go about stopping these feelings?! “Ugh, why does he suddenly have to be so appealing.” around a month ago after one of our nights out drinking, we somehow ended up making out. Sure we always lightly flirted with each other, but that’s just how we are, nothing was ever taken seriously like there was a line we knew that shouldn’t be crossed.

That night it was crossed, but I’m the only one that has any recollection of it happening. Hyunjae remembers nothing of that night and I’m left to deal with these complicated feelings. I didn’t tell him cause, whatever, it’s not like we have feelings for each other anyways. It’s just something that happened, I don’t have to make a big deal of it. That’s what I thought at first, then I noticed how my eyes started to linger on him.

For this past month, I’ve been trying to gauge these feelings for him, to say I like him after one measly kiss is too much. Now I know for sure, but what do I do now? How he acts towards me now is no different from how he’s always treated me, so it’s not like he looks at me in that way.

“No, this is not what I should be thinking about right now! I have to get ready, gotta go soon.”

Hyunjae’s birthday party is tonight, I can’t make today about me. I’ll just act like normal today, he’ll never know the difference.

***

Walking into the designated lounge room for Hyunjae’s party I was greeted by a few familiar faces and some unfamiliar. I was given a wave and nod by some of my friends before almost being knocked off my feet.

“Y/N! You’re finally here, I’ve been waiting for you!” Hyunjae throws himself into my arms giving me a tight squeeze. I freeze up and then remind myself that I should act naturally.

“And a hello to you too. Drunk already I see birthday boy,” I say tapping his back with one hand trying to not get too close. Jacob comes up offering a smile in greeting and I smile back.

“You need to control yourself,” Jacob says then pulling Hyunjae off me falling into his arms, and I thank him with a nod. Hyunjae struggles in Jacob’s hold wanting to break free, then Jacob whispers something in Hyunjae’s ears and he stops struggling, instead, slumping in his arms letting himself be dragged away back to his seat. Looking back to the rest of the table I see my best friend Sunwoo waving me over the free spot next to him. I take a seat and Sunwoo pulls me in giving me a side hug and I reciprocate, doing the same.

“So you want to tell me what that was all about?” He leans in whispering to me.

“What are you talking about?”

“Seriously? I saw the way you blushed like a schoolgirl that was told they are cute by their crush when Hyunjae hugged you.”

“No way!” In shock, I pull away from Sunwoo rubbing at my forehead. I pretend I don’t see the eyes of everyone else go to me at my outburst, and get closer to Sunwoo, whispering again. “Was I that obvious?”

“So you’re admitting that there was something going on there?” He gives a sly smirk and I realize I’ve been had.

“You’re the worst.”

“Yeah yeah, but why am I only hearing about this today?”

“Because I’ve only acknowledged it myself today.”

“Acknowledged it? Just how long have I been out of the loop and does that mean that the two of you are…?” He trailed off letting me fill in the blank.

“Nothing. This is all just one-sided, he should have no idea.”

“You’re fucking kidding me right?”

“What?” Sunwoo sighs at my words and wraps his arms around my shoulder again.

“I’m your bestie, right? I’m also Hyunjae’s friend, correct?”

“Yes, and?”

“Exactly. Now, look at Hyunjae. If anyone else was in my position with you, he would not be looking at us, like a sad frog, but glaring at the person in my place. You get it?” Hyunjae did have his stupid-looking frog face on display, but no, that probably cause he was reprimanded by Jacob.

“No, Hyunjae doesn’t see me like that.”

“Sure maybe at the start of your friendship he didn’t, but the way I see it is, there is a -2% chance that he doesn’t see you that way.”

“And the way I see it is that I shouldn’t even be thinking about this tonight. I just want to get through tonight without a problem, have some fun. I can figure out everything else later.”

"Okay, whatever. My friends are a bunch of oblivious morons." He mumbles the last part knowing damn well I can still hear him.

"Say that again mother fucker. I'll kill you.” I playfully shove Sunwoo and he pretends to be hurt.

“Yo chill!” The both of us laugh out loud and then there is the slamming of shot glasses by the two of us. I turn to see it was Hyunjae, he looks at me with a pout but doesn’t say anything.

“There is a drinking rule. Every time someone joins the party we gotta take a shot,” Jacob explains in Hyunjae’s place.

“Oh, so that’s why he is already smashed.” There was still a deal more empty seats left… is Hyunjae going to survive tonight? Everyone pours themselves a drink, the ones that got here were first looking a little sick while the rest of us were fine, we all down the drinks. The night continues with good vibes, till the last guest arrives with a plus one. Both are unfamiliar faces to me.

“Sorry I’m late, Hyunjae. Also thanks for letting me bring my sister, she really wanted to meet my friends.” The man and his sister wish Hyunjae a happy birthday and take the only seats left available which just so happened to be next to the birthday man himself. With the arrival of two new guests, everyone takes the mandatory shot. I could feel a little more than a buzz, but overall still fine.

The conversation was flowing as normal as everyone was having a good time. A few more drinks in when everyone was a little drunker, open, and comfortable things got a little more handsy. Whatever that’s what people do when they’re drunk, but I couldn’t notice just how handsy that new girl was getting with Hyunjae.

“Good lord, Y/N. Are you trying to kill her with your eyes?” Snapping out of it, I look to sunwoo how was laughing his ass off.

“I might be,” getting mad at myself for the silly words, I rub roughly at my forehead. “So stupid. I don’t have any right to be mad. He isn’t my boyfriend or anything.” The girl tries to casually grab for Hyunjae’s hand and I quickly look up groaning, “That should be me.”

“Damn, you’re down bad.”

“You’re right!” I pour myself another drink, downing it as fast as I can. “I hope I get so shwasted that I forget everything!”

“I take no responsibility for whatever happens tonight, but hell yeah!” Sunwoo takes another shot. The night continues smoothly and everything is jovial except for every time I see her take an advance toward Hyunjae. The party started to slow down and eventually, everyone came to the decision that they could handle no more, so that party came to an end after a few good hours of drinking. After everyone except Hyunjae split the bill, one by one the people started leaving the lounge.

“Jacob I require your assistance home!” Sunwoo shouts to his friend and neighbor. Jacob nods, ready to leave, getting drunk was never his favorite thing. Sunwoo gets up slinging his arm around Jacob for support, and the two boys say goodbye to their friends. “Get home safe loser and get some dick while you’re at it.”

“Fuck off!” Sunwoo laughs as he walks away with Jacob. Only me, the brother-sister pair, and Hyunjae were left. I sure as hell wasn’t about to leave while they were still here, I want to hang out more. The brother as if hearing my wish says it’s time they head home.

The two get up to leave and the girl looks visibly sad while I do a little dance in my head. I walk up to Hyunjae and he looks at me then stands up like he was waiting for me. When I hear them walk out the door I can feel a smile grow on my face. Finally, no more people.

“Ready to go back home?” I ask him.

“You’re going to walk me back? How romantic.”

“We live one apartment building away from each other, stop being dramatic.”

“But still I’m ha-” my eye dart towards the sound of the lounge room door opening and see the familiar girl closing the door behind her. I cover Hyunjae’s mouth with my hand while I use my other one, taking the back of his neck and pulling him closer to me. Our lips only separated by my hand. Surely it looked like we were kissing right now, Hyunjae’s body should cover up the fact that we aren’t. Just let your mind fill in the blanks girl.

A few seconds after I can hear the sound of the door opening and closing again and a high-pitched, “I’m sorry.” from the girl. I’m sorry too… actually no I’m not. I pull away from Hyunjae and he looks stunned.

“Did we just kiss?”

“No, we didn’t. You kiss my hand.”

“Oh.” My eyes were certainly deceiving me cause it looked like he was a little disappointed by my answer.

“Well, let go.” He hums in response and we walk out of the establishment. Suddenly he wraps his arm around me. This isn’t much of a surprise since he was a clingy drunk. The walk was quiet, which was unusual for Hyunjae, maybe he is tired

“Where is my present?”

“You realize that your present was the party bill, right? Do you know just how much you drank compared to everyone else? That shit wasn’t cheap.”

“Hehe, yeah that’s why I drank so much. You know as a broke college student free drinks taste a lot better than anything you pay for!”

“As a broke college student, you would know after that I wouldn’t be able to afford a normal present, so don’t complain.”

“Who said you had to buy the present? Even something small, as long as it’s from you.”

“Why are you like this?” This is really the man I’ve come to like. “Fine, I will do any one thing for you.” He is quiet for a while.

“Two.”

“One.”

“Two!”

“Okay, fine two!” he is silent again.

“Really anything?”

“Anything within reason. If you have a body hidden in your closet right now, I would go help you bury it.”

“Then… can I be your boyfriend for a day. If not then just for the rest of the day or just an hour...” I’m so dumbfounded by his words that I stop walking.

“Do you even know what you’re saying?” He pulls away from me.

“Is that a no then?”

“I… Hyunjae, do you… like me?” He nods. “As a friend?”

“Yes, but more than that. I want to hold you all the time, kiss, and more.” He brings his hand up to his face trying to hide his embarrassment. It did nothing to hide how red his ears became.

“I like you too.” Hyunjae perked up at my words. Now I was feeling embarrassed.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll accept your request.” He hugs me again as he did back at the party.

“Then my other request, can we go back to my place?”

“Are we going to do the “and more” stuff you were talking about?” He thinks for a moment and then goes red in the face.

“No! It’s too soon and I’m way too shit-faced right now anyway. I just want to hold you.”

“Good answer.”

***

In the apartment I was oh so familiar with, I lay in Hyunjae’s bed with his arms wrapped around me. My heart was pounding at first but I soon calmed, getting used to the new situation. The lights were off and we were ready to sleep. It was peaceful, but I had this one lingering question and worry in my head.

“Hyunjae?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you remember this in the morning?”

“Of course why would I forget?”

“Because you forgot that we kissed already.” Shocked by my words he shot up in his spot.

“We what?!”

“It was like a month ago. It’s whatever since you don’t remember.”

“...I’m sorry… was I good?”

“Shut up.” I pinch his side and he yelps.

“Okay jeez, I’m just joking. But is that when you started to like me?”

“Not exactly, but it did all develop from then. Why?”

“I’ve liked you for a long time and have been trying for almost a year to get you to notice me in that way. I didn’t expect you to say you liked me back, so I wanted to know when it changed. Ah, I’m glad I never gave up.” He laid back down, hugging me close again.

“Alright don’t kill me now,” he loosens his grip on me in response.

“Can I kiss you again? I promise I won’t forget this time.”

“Hmm, I think you’re fresh out of requests.” He pouts, which is just the look I wanted to see from him.

“I’m messing with you, but just a little bit. If you really remember when you wake up them I’ll let you kiss me more, as my real boyfriend.”

“I’m going to remember and then I’m going to kiss you so much you’ll get sick of my affection!”

“Uh-huh, let’s just see if you can keep your word.” We both lean into each other and kiss, soft and passionate.

[bangtann-bangdamn]

Summary: After six seasons, your feelings for your co-star, Taehyung, are less than platonic. Who would have thought the death of your character would lead to something more?

Pairing: Taehyung x gender-neutral reader

Genre: Romance, fluff, Acting AU,

Prompt: "Just don't leave me yet."

Word Count: 1k

You skimmed the script in front of you, your disbelief apparent on your face as you read your character’s death scene. You had worked your ass off for six seasons, gone through numerous near deaths, and a complete train wreck of a romance arc, to be killed off. By a freaking misfire.

“Are you freaking kidding me?” You closed your script and let it drop onto the coffee table. You had survived being cursed by a demon; heck you had even met the devil and given him the finger. You had survived a whole lot of trauma, and yet they decide to kill you off by having Seokjin’s gun misfire during a fight?

Sure, you could have grown to accept your character’s death. You could have even accepted not working on the show anymore. But for the last six seasons, your character had been in a constant will-they-won’t-they relationship with Taehyung. A relationship that was finally made official this season, and his last line to you?

“‘Just don’t leave me yet?’” It was supposed to be read with emotion; with the desperation of watching your lover die in your arms. Instead, Taehyung read it as if it were the single funniest line the world had ever created. “We went through six season’s, three near deaths, four different love triangles, and an evil twin for me to say ‘just don’t leave me yet?’” Taehyung laughed as he dropped his script beside yours and settled onto the couch next to you. “I mean, I thought it was ridiculous two seasons ago when we ended the season with a near kiss and the next season we hated each other, but this?” He shook his head, hand briefly running through his thick, curly mane before landing heavily in his lap. “This really takes the cake for the worst plotline.”

You laughed bitterly along with him. Sure, the job was ridiculous. The plot lines made even the viewers roll their eyes with how dramatically bad they were, and yet…

You loved it. You loved waking up on shoot day mornings, rolling into hair and make-up and hearing all the crew’s gossip with your morning coffee. You loved your character’s outfit and how comfortable it was to shoot in whilst making you look amazing. You loved how relaxed shooting was, how the director didn’t get stressed when you goofed a line or missed a cue. But mostly, you loved the newest season and getting to kiss Kim Taehyung’s beautiful face every day.

Tears welled in your eyes before you could stop them, the weight of the moment finally settling on your chest. Once you were done filming, that was it. You weren’t coming back. You wouldn’t have your own dressing room anymore, your own rail in the wardrobe department. You were going to have to say goodbye to everyone and hope beyond hope that they mean it when they say they will see you again.

“Hey, don’t cry.” Taehyung wrapped his arms around you as you sniffled, moving you closer to his chest. You felt his lips brush the top of your head as clutched his shirt a little tighter. “Just because we’re ending on the show, doesn’t mean we have to stop seeing each other in real life,” he said softly.

You froze in his grasp, tears momentarily forgotten as your breath caught in your throat. “What?”

You pulled away from him to gauge his reaction, taking in his wide eyes and the blush creeping up his neck

“I-I just - I just meant that.. you know, we don’t have to, um, stop, um, you know? Like we could maybe, I don’t know... go out? Maybe?”

You leant further away from him as you processed his words. “Like a date?” Your brows furrowed, unable to fully comprehend what he was asking you. It felt like a dream. A brilliant, incredible dream that you didn’t want to wake from.

Taehyung moved his arm away from you as he replied, “Yes!” before bringing his hand back to his lap. “I mean if that’s what you want.” He tried to play in nonchalantly, leaning his arm against the back of the couch as he turned to face you, but his arm missed the back completely and he was left sheepishly smiling at you.

You looked down at your lap as you answered shyly, “I would love that!”

“Yes!” He whooped, jumping up off the couch and performing a brief little dance that mostly involved wiggling his bottom.

You laughed at his reaction, glad that he felt the same way you had. He sank back down onto the couch beside you with a blissed-out smile and stars in his eyes.

“I’ve been waiting six seasons to ask you out.” He sighed.

“Six?”

“Oh, uh. I mean, I definitely haven’t been crushing on you this entire time and I certainly did not look forward to kissing you every day this season and I should stop talking.”

Your heart fluttered as you stared at him. Sweet, handsome Taehyung. The guy who rocked up with an armload of his mum’s cooking on the first day of shooting, who made fluffing your lines look professional and always considerably more hilarious than the line he was supposed to say. Who was loved by everyone.

He liked you.

You didn’t think twice as you leant forward and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. “I’m glad I wasn’t alone.”

Taehyung’s eyes widened, mouth opening to respond when the door to your dressing room swung open. You both turned, neither daring to move away from the other.

“There you both are! We start shooting in five and, Taehyung, you still need to go to make-up!” Jungkook announced to the room, oblivious to how close the pair of you were on the couch. He muttered something about Jin as he turned to leave the room, barely glancing up from his clipboard as he stalked off. He didn’t bother closing the door, a silent signal that the pair of you needed to get your asses into gear.

Taehyung stood first, offering his hand to help you up. You accepted, entwining your fingers before he could step away.

“I’m holding you to that date, by the way.” You squeezed his fingers as you followed him to the door.

“Like I would let you forget about it.” He rolled his eyes before leaning down and placing one more chaste kiss on your lips before making his way towards make-up.

You smiled as you watched him saunter away, still not believing that after all this time he felt the same way.

BGW Drabble Master List

Master List

[moonstruckholland]

Sober (t.h)

Word count: 1,918

Warnings: drinking, fluff, tiny bits of angst

A/N: The second oneshot for Cosmic Souls! I really hope y'all like this 💕 let me know what you think if you do and if you want, you can find the first oneshot in my masterlist 🥰 also, as always, shout out to the amazing @fangirlwithasweettooth for reading this over

It was obvious by the way you were dressed you hadn't originally planned on having Tom over.

Usually, you didn't care much for getting dressed up when you hung out with Tom at your place, opting for a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. Not that he ever minded, he loved that you felt comfortable enough to be yourself around him.

Tonight though you had on a pretty floral dress that complimented your skin and more makeup than you usually cared to put on, pops of color and shimmer on your lids that added to the natural sparkle in your eyes.

Tom thought you looked beautiful.

Though, to be fair, there hadn't been a moment since he met you three years ago, in the music history class the both of you were forced to take, where he hadn't thought you looked absolutely stunning.

"So, what exactly happened tonight, love?" He looked up to where you were sitting next to him on the couch, hoping he didn't seem too eager to hear your answer, "You were pretty vague with the details over the phone."

"Fuck, Tommy, it was horrible," you took a sip of your cup, that was mostly filled with vodka, scrunching your nose as the liquid went down your throat, "I had a date tonight with that dude I was telling you about the other day, from my child and family development class."

Tom felt a pang in his chest as he remembered exactly who you were talking about, recalling how you fawned over him while the two of you were having lunch together, mentioning something about wanting to jump his bones.

He felt just as jealous then as he did now, wondering if you'd ever noticed the fact that he would literally do anything for you.

"Not only was he almost an hour late, didn't even bother to warn me, by the way," you rolled your eyes, bringing your cup to your lips again, "He wouldn't stop talking about his ex the whole time, but I'm getting ahead of myself, let me start from when he finally picked me up."

You continued on, taking large gulps of your drink as the details of the story got worse and worse.

Tom followed in your footsteps, drinking more from his cup than he had originally planned when you first handed it to him, each sip helping him refrain from blurting out what he actually wanted to say to you.

It was safe to say by the time you were done talking, the two of you were definitely tipsy.

It was safe to say by the time you were done talking, Tom was definitely buzzed. You on the other hand were on a completely different level, taking shots in between drinks, going harder than Tom had ever seen.

You had just finished your third cup, already working on your fourth one, while Tom had barely taken sips of his third one, figuring it'd be best if at least one of you slowed down.

"How do you manage to find the worst guys to go on dates with?"

You sighed, "I don't know, I just want one actually nice guy to want me, that's it."

'I want you,' is what Tom's thoughts were begging him to say. Instead he gave you a sympathetic smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, "You'll have that some day, darling."

You leaned back on the couch, sadness overcoming your features, "I wish there were more guys like you, Tommy."

He barely had time to register your words, his head fuzzy from the alcohol, before you distracted him with an awkward cough, mumbling something about it being too warm.

"Maybe you should take that as a sign to take a break."

Just like that the sadness washed away, replaced with a wicked smile, "I don't know what you're talking about, I'm only getting started."

Tom rolled his eyes, getting up from the couch with a groan and walking over to the fridge to get a couple of water bottles and the bag of chips on the kitchen counter, knowing you'd have the worst hangover if he didn't get some food and something non-alcoholic in your system.

He brought them over to you, handing you the bottle and putting the chips on your lap, "Eat something please, darling."

"Don't wanna eat," you shook your head stubbornly, "I wanna dance."

Before Tom could protest, you downed the rest of your cup before jumping up and grabbing his hand, pulling him up with you. "C'mon, dance with me, Tommy, please."

"But there's no music."

Tom expected you to do the easy thing and connect your phone to your Bluetooth speakers and play one of the dozens of playlists you had on Spotify, instead you caught him off guard by belting out the lyrics to What Makes You Beautiful.

He couldn't help the laughter that bursted from him as you started swaying and twirling while you sang.

It was totally ridiculous, but Tom found himself singing along with you, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close so you could sway together.

After a while you stopped singing and put your head on his chest, making his heart hurt. He wished this was more than what it was, more than him comforting you after a bad date.

Tom tried not to dwell on his negative thoughts, deciding to just close his eyes, lay his head on top of yours, and enjoy having you close to him like this.

He got lost in you, the feeling of your hands in his and the way your body was pressed against him, so close he could smell the scent of your favorite perfume.

He'd been close to you so many times over the years, but something about this was inherently different, more intimate than you'd ever been before.

There was nothing he wanted more than to stay in this moment, in your embrace, for the rest of the night and honestly he would've if you hadn't somehow tripped over his feet, resulting in the two of you falling back onto the couch.

You landed on top of Tom, drunken giggles escaping your lips, "Are you okay?"

"I'm cutting you off for the night," he huffed, making you laugh even more as you attempted to apologize.

You rolled off of him after a moment, your chest rising rapidly as you tried to catch your breath. It took everything in him not to pull you back, his body aching for your warmth as soon as it was gone

"I think...it's time for bed."

"Good idea," Tom stood up, holding out his hand to help you do the same.

"Will you pretty please carry me? I have jelly legs."

Tom couldn't help rolling his eyes at you, "Jelly legs from what? You're the one that fell on me."

"Please?" You pouted, "Because you love me?"

'I really do.'

If he had wanted to, he would've put up a fight, but deep down he knew he would do anything you asked of him. You had him completely wrapped around your finger.

"Fine," he said, pretending to be annoyed, as if he hadn't already decided he would carry you the second you asked him to.

He hooked one arm underneath your legs, the other under your back, holding you close to his chest as he carried you to your bedroom.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Tommy," you said softly as he laid you down, pulling your blanket over you and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"I'll always be here to take care of you."

'I'd do anything for you.'

He was about to leave your room and pass out on the couch, when you grabbed his arm, "Stay with me? Please?"

He nodded, wordlessly crawling under the covers beside you.

You turned over so you were facing him, your hands in between you, just barely touching Tom's, an unreadable expression on your features.

"What are you thinking about?"

You shook your head, "It's so dumb."

He gently nudged your leg with his, "Tell me, darling."

"I-fuck, okay," you looked down, suddenly very interested in the pattern on your blanket. "I swear there wasn't a moment tonight where I hadn't wished I was with you."

"After what you told me, I wish I was there too."

"No, Tommy, you don't get it," you chewed your lip nervously, looking everywhere but at him, "I don't just feel this way about this date, it's every date."

Your words weren't really clicking in Tom's head and he was starting to think the alcohol was having more of an effect on him than he originally thought.

"I want you to be the one to pick me up and take me to dinner. I want to hold your hand when we go to the movies," you voice got lower the more you talked and you shyly peeked up through your lashes to gauge Tom's reaction, "I want to kiss you and murmur how much I love you against your lips."

Tom's heart was beating hard against his chest, the sound so loud in his ears he could barely hear you.

He couldn't believe it. Were you really saying the words he's been wanting to hear since the day he met you?

If his head wasn't buzzing with a million different thoughts, he probably would've kissed you or at least said a few coherent sentences but all he could manage to blurt out was, "You love me?"

Something in you seemed to switch, your words stuttering and your eyes widening with shock as you realized exactly what you just said to Tom.

"Shit. I-I'm so drunk," you turned over, your back now facing him, "I, um, I'm tired. I need to go to sleep."

"Y/n-"

"No, Tom, it's okay. Please just Forget I said anything."

He laid there in complete silence, his eyes glued to your back as he contemplated what he should do, if he should say anything or do as you said and put tonight behind him.

'Don't be an idiot, tell her.'

"Y/n?"

You didn't say anything for a moment too long, making Tom's stomach clench. What if you were asleep and he missed his chance completely?

"Yeah, Tommy?" You said so quietly Tom could barely hear you.

"I love you too."

He felt like he was going to be sick as he waited for you to say something or just do anything to let him know you hadn't suddenly changed your mind.

Tom was starting to wonder if you heard him or maybe you just didn't care when you reached behind your back and grabbed his arm, pulling it towards you. You laced your fingers through his as you brought his hand to your lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

He let out a breath of relief he hadn't realized he'd been holding before hesitantly scooting closer to you, closing up the little space between you.

Once again Tom found himself in a position he'd been a million times, wrapped up in you, but the air had changed and it was almost like it was the first time.

In the back of his mind he knew there was a chance you were only saying this because of the alcohol in your system, but he pushed the thought away, and nuzzled his face into your hair before closing his eyes, hoping you'd still mean what you said when the sun came up.

Tagging: @fangirlwithasweettooth @bravest-at-heart @hollandsamor @constellatinq @aidiastyles @ravenclawmarvel @cosmicholland @sleepyhollands @devildisguiseasangel @fairytaleparker @hollandsosterfield @now-imagine @officiallyunofficialperson @stealth-spiderr @xxxxdelenaxxxx @its-the-aerieljeane @petersstarcadet @babebenhardy @antoouu @lovinnholland @kxrtwxgner @sleepybesson @awkwardfangirl2014 @brookeelee98 @nedthegay @petersmparker @parkeroffline @snjms02 @the-queen-procrastinator @tomhollandsumbrella @spideyosterfield @thollandx @styles-balor4eva @80sthottie @marvelobsessedteenager @marshyrebelcloud @sixwyrxstuff @itscaminow @tomshufflepuff @jillanaholland @howdyherron @undiadeestos @quaksonhehe @theslytherinwarrior @itstaskeen

[that-devout-catholic-woman]

An update: I actually don't know how catholic I want to be yet. I already am the most catholic of my household, (weird, right)? I mean, I went through this six year hardship that brought me closer to God, which I'm totally grateful for, and now I'm ready to seek my soulmate or whatever. (I never felt ready before) so it's all a little exciting and stuff. idk, I signed up for catholic match and this is how I met that friend (who wants to set me up) but...

I’m going based on the assumption that all 6 of these are from you but if not I’m terribly sorry, I currently have like 15 asks in my box and most of them are about relationship advice so eother way, you’re all getting prayers and advice, it just may be grouped weird/wrong. If I grouped it wrong, feel free to call me out on it so I can fix it.

But anyway, to get to the meaty bits of it:

I can totally relate, the whole “God make me holy but not yet” St Augustine type thing is totally me to a T even now. There are definitely some things that I hang onto that I know I need to let go of even though I’m definitely also the most Catholic out of my family, too. But God brings people closer to Him in His own time and that’s okay, His relationship with everyone is different.

I think marrying someone you’ve known forever is super cute (and maybe a better option than having someone you met on CatholicMatch set you up with yet another person? Idk maybe it’s just me but that doesn’t seem like it may be the best option for you, but I could be wrong—like I said it never hurts to at least try to get to know the person).

In terms of how Catholic said childhood friend is, I think you have to gauge it like this: if you were to get married and have kids together but then something happened to you and your spouse essentially had to raise your children on his own, could you trust him to raise your children in the faith well enough to get your children to Heaven? Because that’s the ultimate goal of marriage and family is to help one another achieve Heaven. Regardless of how Catholic he is or isn’t (often from the outside it’s even hard to judge that, most often only God can say how strong someone’s faith life is) if you feel secure enough in the answer to that question it doesn’t hurt to pursue something with said friend. Plus in the end, SOs help one another become holier through their relationship so you could also end up being a good influence on him (granted he’d also have to want to become holier himself or it’d never work out).

God always hears your prayers. He knows the workings of every single cell in your body and has numbered every single hair on your head and knows exactly every single step you will ever take in your entire life. Trust me when I say that God hears you and is answering you in His own way. I honestly admire your steadfastness when it comes to honoring your future spouse and I think when you sit down and tell them your life story in the future that they’ll be glad they even before you were together that they were a source of strength that you drew from. As far as cute love stories go, that’d be up there on my list, IMO. So yes, I totally am following what you’re saying. And not only does God have incredible things planned for each of us in this life if we follow His will, but we also get to reap the benefits in the next life, too. I find it best to follow Him so I get to live life most fully in both instances. In terms of trusting God more, I definitely agree. When we don’t see results right away it can be difficult to know that God for sure is working on things behind the scenes for us. But consider this, as ready as you are to enter into a relationship right now, ask yourself what your future spouse may be going through. Maybe he’s not ready to be in a relationship or be married yet. Maybe he recently got out of a relationship and needs time to heal. Maybe he has trauma from his past he needs to work through first. Maybe he needs time for his relationship with God to mature before he’s ready to take on a more significant role in a relationship. Etc. Sometimes it’s no you and it’s the other person. Lol on a personal note, I remember one time when I was lamenting being single I asked God why I was still single and heard God saying back that my future husband was into blondes and needed to get over that phase first. Turns out Kieran did have a blonde phase a few years ago so he may not have been as interested in me had we met then instead. 🤷🏻‍♀️ You never know with men lol. But back to my main point, I think God may be asking you to take this opportunity to pray intently on behalf of your future spouse.

And I’ve always been of the mindset that if God wants something to happen, like for you to be married one day, and you want that also, He’s not going to let the opportunity pass you by. If your will aligns with His, then it’s not a matter of Him not giving you what you want, it’s a matter of timing and of patience on your part. Trust that God is diligently working on it even though you can’t see what He’s currently doing. Only in hindsight does life make sense. And God the Father’s main role in our lives is protection. He’s given each of us a guardian angel to ensure that. Based on that logic, it’s safe for you to assume that the closed doors in your life so to speak have been blessings to protect you from something, and the open doors you walked through were just hallways to get you to where you are now and to where you need to be to do God’s will in the future. It’s not the end for you, don’t worry.

God is certainly involved in all the choices we make, regardless of if we remember it or not. And yes, you’ve probably seen me mention 32,000 times that love is a choice lol, I tend to be a broken record about that so I agree with you there. And while I love Kieran with my whole heart and soul, I know I could have chosen differently if I really wanted to. I don’t necessarily believe in the “one true soulmate” thing, but personally, I do believe in bad, good, better, and best choices when it comes to future spouses. I like to think Kieran’s a “better” or “best” choice, but tbh I’ll never know for sure. And that’s okay with me because like I said, I choose to love him either way. So in that same line of thinking, as long as you have someone who you think can get you and your future children to Heaven and who treats you the way you deserve and want to be treated in a relationship, it’s kinda hard to go wrong.

Kieran will always be my #soulmate and also behind the scenes we do have a quieter domestic life filled with camping and going dancing and going to bookstores together when I actually do get to see him. He makes me meals and kisses my forehead and we talk about what we’ll name our future children and what we’ll plant in our future garden. We go to mass together and read our Bibles together and pray together and go to adoration together (not as much with Covid, unfortunately, but w/e). It is possible to have both. And honestly, on some days I feel like screaming “HE IS MY HUMAN AND I KNOW IT” and other days it’s harder and I have to choose to love him even and especially when he drives me up the walls because he doesn’t see things the way I do. In my humble opinion, I think having a love that includes both is something that will stand the test of time, and let me explain why. On the days when it’s less evident that you’re meant to be with that person you make the choice and as time goes on and life throws you more curveballs and things get harder, it gets easier. And then the days when they do everything right and light up your life come and reaffirms why you make those hard choices to keep on loving them, it makes the hard days worth it. It’s the yin and the yang, the give and the take in the relationship. Personally, I think that’s what makes a relationship beautiful, and I think that’s worth trusting in God’s timing for.

I hope this helped somewhat. And you can count on continually being in my prayers. :)

[hoopdiddies]

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 8)

A/N: Ayoooo. Hey guys, here's part 8 and I'm so sorry if the previous chapters kind of frustrated you. I didn't really mean for it to but I hope you enjoy this one. I'll be posting 9 tomorrow or the day atfter. Thanks again for your feedbacks, y'all motivate me a lot ^^ ♥ (My Wi-Fi has prejudice against tumblr rn)

Summary: You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Warnings: Angst, bois. ANGST (I cried like a sucker during one part I wrote 😔) mention of blood, yet again drinking, some speckles of fluff, and unnecessary dialogue if you look closely enough :^ I feel like a terrible writer today

WC: 4k I think?

Tags: As always my taglist is always open uwu

@haendel-me-with-care

@mrsdoradominguez-barnes

@mickmoon

@lakef

@mrsmazzello

@valeriecarolinaw

@queen-turtle-boiii

@hardzzellos

"You look...beautiful." Ben's comment is indeed one thing to start the night. It's not like he's never told you that before–it's just the tone in which he has said it in is...different. A foreign tone never been released from his lips until you. You look up at him through your lashes, giving him a slanted smile accompanied by a bubbly chuckle. "Thanks. You smell nice too."

The corner of his eyes crinkle as his curving lips push them up. As expected, Rosy chimes in between you and Ben almost too quickly, the blurry speed in which she has arrived in making you gasp. "Excuse me, babe. You got interviewers on your tail and I- oh," her brows shoot up upon seeing you, seemingly haughty eyes flicking up and down your outfit in mild contempt.

"Surprised to see you here as well." The smile plastered on her face couldn't be any more forced than it is.

Girl, chill. Anti-aging soaps are not easy to manufacture these days. You begin holding your breath to prevent yourself from bursting into a fit from hearing that thought ring in your head. You shrug, garnering the guts to shift on your heightened stance and lean in an inch close.

"You're not the only one with a celebrity date."

You turn around too early to gauge her reaction, finally exhaling from holding your breath too long. You can finally conclude that she's had an effortless transition from being benign to far from being benign. The smoothest one-eighty you've ever witnessed. You remember her clearly being downright considerate of you the first time you met her yet now is a whole different story. You wonder if she was actually ever considerate.

As the boys and Lucy indulge in brief interviews, you stand behind the scenes and get the first-class chance of conversing with Brian. He's readily the coolest person in the house right now, bantering with you every once in three, fascinating topics. How fortunate are you to be in the spot a million Queen fans would die for but of course, you don't want to leave out Roger who - by a landslide - makes you wish you could wheeze and snort all you want if you weren't in a luxury event such as the Oscars. He seemed intimidating for you at first but as he joined in your talk with Brian, things escalated real quickly.

With the pre-ceremony interviews and the clinking of champagne glasses dampening, you begin hunting for your seats in the theatre.

Before you know it, you are informed that only a specific line of people are given exclusivity for the seats. And it shocks you that Joe, Allen, Ben and Gwilym are not given that card when in fact they were part of the very film that brought forth a new generation of fans.You shake your head disappointingly albeit contented that Rami, Lucy, Brian and Roger and their wives are part of the exclusivity.

Utterly determined to know the results - by Joe's 'sovereign' vote - the rest of you hang around in the waiting area, focusing on the ceremony rights shown on TV. Quietly sitting through the results, you all whoop and applaud at the mention of Bohemian Rhapsody obtaining three awards straight– your cheers amping up a notch as Rami brings home the 'Best Actor' award. Joe begins filming your reactions for Instagram, zooming into Gwilym, Ben and Allen's faces for most of the video. You throw your head back in laughter at how goofy the boys look; a bunch of men in their 30's bouncing up and down with one of them documenting the entire episode. At one point, Gwilym yanks as you in for a group hug, mercilessly crushing you in between their muscles– the disorienting experience now being something you wish you would never undergo again.

As Rami's thank you speech unfolds, you pay attention closely. The sentimentality of him lovingly thanking Lucy for being his anchor after dedicating his award to Freddie Mercury is just overwhelming and you wish you could tear up but your mascara would be waste. You're certain that made Brian and Roger emotional as well.

An hour after the ceremony, you all head down to the Vanity Fair after party in the same limo you had arrived in with every single person in the group eager to get the night progressing. Regardless of saying that these type of parties are not up to your speed, you try to get along with the evening and revel in what you know would be your last night with them. Sadly enough, Roger and Brian had to skip out on this with rough schedules on their hands. The moment they walked out of the place, they spent nearly half an hour congratulating the boys and having other celebrities congratulate them.

As you are seated across Ben and Rosy, you can't help but notice him acting a little distant from her. She's all nuzzled up against his arm and he is nowhere close to returning the favor. He's just...lost in thought, staring out the tinted window. It's still early to assume that in all the hours you were within a close range to them, Ben only ever acted aloof, giving her attention when the situation required it.

Perhaps a lover's tiff took place?

"Yeah, I'm wondering the same thing too." Mimicking your position, Joe calling you back to Earth makes you gasp a little. You close your eyes and look at your fingers blankly after recovering, sighing. "I think we should end all this pretending. It was simply a cop-out in the first place."

"I know," he whispers audibly enough for only you to hear, running his fingers through his fiery, red hair, "you should probably come clean soon enough before you leave."

And that you will. At least, you'll try.

In your defense, you thought the after party would host a fancy banquet but seated around with celebratory drinks -considerable with something classy - and attendees breaking down on the dance floor is a rather okay scene as well. As long as you don't end up like the night you were invited out for a drink with your colleagues, you should be fine for the most part.

The boys and Lucy have fully immersed themselves in the beat of the music while you've decided to remain stationary with one glass of wine, the only glass you'll be having for the rest of the party.

The entire time you gawk at them amusingly as they break out their dance moves, your eyes always find their way to Ben, who makes you snort painfully from all his antics as he moves along with Joe. They're a mess with their ties and buttons undone from all the movement and the sight inspires you to stay put.

But oh dear lord, can Ben dance like an uncle.

Keeping your attention on them, a descending weight sinks down next to you. You pay no mind to whoever it is but do as her voice interrupts your thoughts. "I hope your eye is on the right person, honey." You click your tongue in exasperation, turning your body towards Rosy and her developing, bitchy tendencies, scoffing as you place your drink down to set things straight with her. "First of all, what did I ever do to you to deserve this kind of talk?"

She smacks her lips together at you, simpering. "You didn't think I'd notice?"

"What are you talking about?"

Her almond eyes narrow as if she's trying pin you down with a warning. "Please, don't act like I never noticed. You're overstepping that boundary between you and your best friend- my fiance." Okay, so she's noticed. But your neutralized expression is not going to be giving away anything.

You incline your head to one side in hopes that the facade you're pulling would decompress her suspicion. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Ben is like my brother. "

Grabbing her drink from the table, she sighs and stands up, hands firm on her hips and face silhouetted under the beaming light nevertheless giving you a transpiercing glower in the manner of seeing through the makeshift barrier you've pulled up. "He better be. Try backing off every once in a while when I'm around."

To your dismay, you snap inside, whipping your head up at her and replying sharply to make the message crystal clear. "Rosy, you have no idea." Unable to withstand the atmosphere you're in, you put great emphasis on your words and snatch your drink, walking out to the mini garden to finish what's left of your wine without having to bear being around her.

The question is unadulterated and obvious– bold and italicized if you wish to give it a stretch and clarify it.

Why is Ben still with her?

Is he that clueless not to realize it?

You don't want to pry the answer out yourself but ruminating on it, Rosy pulling off a full one-eighty only when Ben's at an appropriate distance for her to squeeze you between her fingers is just about good as a reason as anything. Your unwavering feelings for Ben are clearly perceived by her– from the way you had reacted the day he introduced you both to each other to not so long ago.

You wonder if Ben ever took heed of her growing attitude towards you.

Finishing your wine in one, immediate, swig, you place it down on the marble surface before you with your fingers cradling the stem of the glass– relishing the spicy liquid flushing down your throat.

At the extent of overexerting themselves, Joe and Gwilym flop down back on their seats like jelly, tuckered out from the unconventional combination of alcohol and unsteady movement. Panting like a dog who had just participated in a marathon, Joe shrugs out of his blazer and tosses it over his shoulder, silently wishing the ice in the bucket that held the bottle of wine would save him from the grinding heat of the wine he had just about five minutes ago.

"Mate, you're deep in the heat." Gwilym comments as it is followed by a gentle laugh on how Joe's glistening in sweat under the dimming lights. He hands him a partially bland look before wiping his forehead with his handkerchief. Lucy and Rami are situated at other end of the place enjoying a chat with another party of people meanwhile Ben and Rosy are nowhere near any of them. Until, of course, they reappear from God knows where and Ben suddenly asks Joe where you've gone.

"I-I don't know." He says after a hefty sigh. Somewhat eager to find you, Ben begins excusing himself from Rosy whom which he has spiked a bitter reaction from for sharing his supposed time for her with you. Fed up and jealous in the slightest, Rosy snaps at him.

"Okay Ben, why do you always have to skip in between minutes to hang out with her even when we're together?"

He pauses from turning around completely and sighs. "She's my friend, babe."

Unwilling to accept his statement, she claims. "Well your friend is getting in the way of what was supposed to be our time together! Can't you set aside a limited time for her?! " This has alarmed Joe and Gwilym but it isn't their business to butt in and stop a quarrel from breaking out. Unless it turns physical, which is doubtful to happen. Ben, a little frustrated but still tolerant of her ongoing skittish behavior, tries to reassure her. "I know that, alright? But something's been bothering her for days and I just want to make sure she's doing alright."

"Can't you leave the worrying to Joe? He's her bloody boyfriend anyway!"

Wagging his forefinger at Rosy, Joe grumbles as he is not having any of her talk, scrunching his brows at her.

Grabbing her shoulders gently, Ben tries to relieve her of tension and assures her once more, but with a well-known fact she obviously still doesn't accept. "Joe's a little drunk. She's like...a sister to me," it really took him an abrupt pause to say 'sister', "besides, you're my fiancee. There's nothing to be jealous about."

"Why does she still have to be a part of your life? Our life?" Now that's a question that has just shifted Ben to a farther side. His brows knit together in momentary disbelief, unable to take her words in a good light. "God, Rosy! She's been around for so long! At least make an effort to accept her!" Like a slap to her conceitedness, Ben turns on his heels and walks out to find you. Leaving Rosy a steaming mess of insecurity.

However slightly drunk, Joe mutters to himself as he makes sure neither Gwilym or especially Rosy hears his words stumble out in a whisper. "You've grown a pair, Ben. You've grown a pair."

You've been outside for nearly half an hour; wine glass empty and your hair, along with the skirt of your dress, drifting along the harmless breeze and the waning moon spilling some light from behind the shaded clouds. Though there were a couple of people that found their way here to get some respite not too long ago, you're just glad to have this space to breathe in from the draining background of the party.

As you lose yourself in thought, a certain voice brings you back to reality.

"Nice night out, huh?"

Turning around slowly, you are met with the cool, forest green irises that you've grown to never tire of seeing. "I'm surprised you're still well-kept in that suit despite the scene back in there. " You give in to a chuckle, your smile pulling Ben to approach your side leisurely. "It's my Oscars suit. Something worthy of protecting."

"Hah!"

As he rests his elbows on the surface next to you, the distance between your skins makes you a tad bit anxious. Comfortable silence falls upon you both– for Ben at least, it's tolerable however you're not taking it well, not even in the slightest. You rub your hands together and sigh, prompting Ben to finally ask you.

"You alright? You've been tensing up lately."

You nod, closing your eyes and opening them afterwards. "This dress is just depleting me of bodily warmth." Half a lie told by you. Acting on his thoughts, Ben begins taking his blazer off but you stop him mid-shrug. "Keep it on. You look better with it on."

"This would look better on you, you're obviously freezing." He's really keen on keeping you warm but you're just as so in letting him keep it on. "I'm serious. Keep it on. I'm fine."

What can he do but just give in? When you're serious, you're serious. He lifts his shoulder in half a shrug, ducking his head as an idea flickers in his head like a bulb. He wants to relive something that has been lost through the years and it's only right that he does...now that you have less than a day to disappear from his life completely.

"Y/N..." He muses gently. You raise your brows at him in question, taken by surprise that he has his hand held out to you. Bewildered, you raise your finger to ask what on Earth he's doing. "What- what are you doing?"

He licks his bottom lip and the smile on his face becomes bashful but certain. "What else does it look like I'm doing, silly girl? Asking you to dance."

You're sorry that you couldn't keep a snort at bay. "Pfft. Ben, I think you're asking the wrong girl."

"Just let me dance with my best friend."

"Wow! That's noble of you," your chuckles can not be contained, even so much as restraining yourself from letting the blush spread throughout your face. But he has the fragments of what was once your heart, so why wouldn't you? You slip your hand in his and the grin on his face widens. "There we go. Easy does it." He breathes out, his voice getting gravelly. You hit him softly on his chest for cooing, at the same time realizing that his voice becomes that way only and only when he's nervous– something uncommon between you both. As his hands find home on your waist, you throw your arms around his neck, laughing at how awkward yet funny it feels. What a huge nod to how you danced with him on Homecoming.

"You're so weird sometimes. You got your fiancee, why don't you dance with her?" Getting used to the sting of referring to Rosy, you question anyway. He initiates with a sway before responding. "I already have. But, " he diverts his heavy-lidded eyes from staring off the distance to yours and suddenly, it feels like you're home, "I want to finish that Homecoming dance."

You find yourself speechless as you shift your unflinching gaze at him and he at you, your bodies swaying along the concrete and in perfect sync, coincidentally to the sudden change in music from inside, compared to the bittersweet night you had before the day that parted you both. Thin silence hangs in the atmosphere but only because you are looking at each other in a way you never have in your entire lives.

Instinctively, you break your gaze from his and rest your head on his chest, your hair falling into your face as your eyes screw shut. You hear his heart skip a beat, unusually in the same manner yours always has. Feeling your head follow the rise and fall of his chest tickles you inside– temporarily making you forget about the pain of soon letting him go and producing a sense of safety.

Maybe it's because of exhaustion? You wonder. He doesn't hesitate to stroke your hair and revel in the moment as well, easing you in closer to his body without breaking the sway. "You'll be there on my wedding day, right?" He asks nervously, his question pulling you back to the harshest reality.

You open your eyes slowly, your lips trembling as you let out the saddest sigh, feeling your chest tighten from the anxiety of soon telling him the truth.

"Y/N?" Your tensed-up body alarms him and so he breaks away and lifts your chin up lightly, being met with glossy and regretful eyes. His messy brows drawing together in slight worry. "What's wrong?"

Everything.

However uneager to push him away, you do, escaping his warm embrace. "Ben, I..."

He's dreading for your answer, painfully anticipating for the best or the worst to the point where his hands are lubricating with sweat.

You swallow the lump that has hardened in the back of your throat, pressing your lips together to prevent a sob from escaping and shunning his prying stare. "I can't..."

Joe's half-assed predicted, worst case scenario is slowly unfolding.

"What are you saying? You're not- you're not going...to be there?"

You bite down on your lip hard enough to make it swell, shaking your head and casting a sideways glance.

"Why?"

Tell the truth. Just tell him and you're either getting a support or another jab to the heart.

"Y/N, please! Tell me why!"

"I'm leaving, Ben!" The words didn't seem to stumble or carelessly flop from your lips, in fact it speared through him clean thereby catching him off guard. His eyes have fallen gravely, lips parted due to shock.

"I got into a medical school I had previously applied for. And I'm leaving," you snap your eyes shut and open them in tears once you've looked up at him, "on your wedding day."

"Why didn't- why didn't you ever tell me?" He's pleading for your explanation, barely clinging on to the belief that you would always tell him things.

You don't answer as you are battling to muster up the courage to say it.

"Y/N, please! You never tell me anything these days! And this- this news, it's important! You're leaving on the day I need you the most, and you never bothered to squeak a word about it! Not a single, bloody word! Why?!" He's racked up with disbelief and apparently, anger. Eyes rimmed, clouded with mixed emotions and face full-blown red from the pressure.

He grabs you by the shoulders and pleads heartbreakingly, his lively voice reduced to but a whisper. "Why..."

"I-" You're still holding back.

"Say it! "

"You'd soon forget about me, Ben!" You inhale sharply as you add, croaks present in your voice while you take two steps further away from him as you lament. "I'm hopelessly in love with you, you idiot! I've always been. I try- I try to brush off every single prick that stems out every minute I realize that you already belong to someone else..."

"Y/N-"

"I figured not telling you would help me let go. And it's the only way I can...because screw you for being a clueless, irreplaceable bloke! I can't imagine my bloody life without you in it! I don't think I can ever love anybody else...but you, "

"Y/N..."

You don't let him finish and achingly throw your hands to your chest as a gesture, pounding your chest thrice as you're finally wearing your heart on your sleeve. "I can't blame you for being oblivious to my feelings. You're committed to Rosy...and as much as I want to see you happy, I don't want to stand idly by and- and feel this way when you've pledged your heart to her...I want to forget and for you to forget me," As the warm tears you've held back for so long roll down your cheeks, you hug yourself through the pain, "I want you to be happy without worrying how I'd feel. And disappearing from your life, is the only way I know how..."

"Y/N, please, don't say that- don't do this...you can't do this...you c-can't..." With hands shaking, he strides towards you to haul you in back into his arms but you take an agonizing step away, stopping him in his tracks. "I have to. I...I want to. It hurts so much, Ben. It always has but promise me," even if you have taken a step away, you take it upon yourself to take those steps close to him and cup his cheek with a cold hand, "promise me you'll revel in that happiness. It's going to hurt being away from you. But it's going to hurt even more if I stay. And watch...my best friend grow old with someone else." Finally rendering him wordless, you shake your head and whisk past him back into the party which has died down a bit, leaving him a pondering mess out under the bleak sky.

"How could I be happy without you..."

You'd gladly do anything to go back home right now. The weight of what just took place is crushing you and the need to escape is fuming. But the thing is, Ben was never one to let you go easy.

He never did and possibly never will.

He sniffles and inhales sharply, jogging in after you and calling out your name amidst the constant noise and chatters. "Y/N, wait!"

You reach your table just in time to see everyone still gathered around with drinks raised and laughs released but you have to excuse yourself deliberately. "Y/N? Where have you been? What's the rush?" Lucy notices your hastened movement and places her hand on your tense shoulder. You snap your head at her with your purse in your grasp, shaking your head and apologizing that you have to leave, forgetting to rid your eyes of tears; the sight of you amping up Lucy's concern therefore leading you into her embrace. "Oh my god, are you okay? What happened?"

"Y/N!"

Ben's distant but audible voice echoing through the place just sends you panicking inside. "I'm so sorry, Luce. I have to go."

"Y/N, wait! What's wrong?"

Just as the rest could react to Lucy calling out for you and Ben dashing past them to catch up, you've already disappeared into the crowd, headed out the theatre to take a cab ride back to the hotel. Relentless to let you go, Ben follows your trail, spurring a quick frenzy from the rest and having them pursue Ben in return. Once you reach the outskirts of the pavements, you don't think twice before crossing the highway with your focus hardened before you.

Gasping for air upon exiting the theatre, Ben glances around in haste and finally spots you marching down the street oblivious to your surroundings despite treading along the pedestrian lane. His eyes widen in dread and acting on a fight or flight reaction, he yells for your attention as he speeds down the street to pull you in or rather save you from a possibility of getting hurt with all the rushing vehicles and careless drivers. "Y/N! Y/N!"

The boys, Lucy and Rosy arrive outside just in time to witness Ben race towards your direction and in a moment of feeling time slow down, you feel your heart in your throat at the late flash of nearing headlights, to add a heavy force propelling you off your feet and onto the other side of the road. What gets you up from the ground are the mixed screams of a familiar bunch and the sight of a bloodied man in white laying unconscious on the cold surface of the road.

White noise suddenly fills your ears instead of your own voice as you scream out his name.

[lovehelpmewrite]

The People Who Love You [1]

A/N: This is very angsty, there's a lot of abuse!triggers, rape!triggers and the like. I was really in the mood to angst so yeah. Please enjoy at your own risk, triggers and angst ahead. Also, I didn't originally intend for it but its going to be 2 parts because tumblr only allows 100 blocks I guess... I don't know the word count because I'm on mobile, and I'm hoping my keep reading works but sorry if it doesn't. Its un-beta-d, and unedited and un-spell-checked, so all mistakes are mine. Anyways, read on.

"Yeah? Seriously? That's insane. Yeah. Yeah of course! Yeah I'll let him know. Thanks Sam. Yeah, you too. See you in a bit." I hung up the phone feeling happier than i'd been in a long while. Sam had called, asking for help on a werewolf out in Nevada. When he'd asked if I was still with Tyler I assumed thats who he really wanted on the case but I was excited to see them either way.

I walked out into the living room, seeing Tyler on the couch with a beer in hand. Out of reflex I grabbed another and set it next to his feet on the coffee table. He smiled in return.

"You're too good to me," he said, giving me he full attention for a few seconds before turning back to the TV.

"So, uh, Sam Winchester called. He and Dean have a case out in Nevada they wanted our help on. Werewolves. I told them we'd check it out, what do you think?" I asked quietly.

Tyler let out a deep sigh and I turned my eyes to the corner of the coffee table.

"I think," he paused, taking a drink of his beer, "that you should have asked before you went saying yes. And that I don't like those Winchesters, too fucking uptight, and Dean always stares at you." He threw an annoyed look my way before letting out another deep breath and finishing off his beer, getting ready to open the second.

"When do they want me?" He asked, tossing the metal cap onto the table. I watched as it skidded and slid of the edge onto the floor.

"ASAP. I told them we could be out there in a few days," I answered timidly.

Tyler let out another sigh of annoyance.

"Well, go back a bag, we'll leave tomorrow and I don't want to have to wait for your sorry ass to finish up."

I nodded and stood quickly, walking into the back bedroom and shutting the door softly. I let myself smile as I packed, enjoying the thought of seeing old friends again.

- - -

"Tyler, Y/N, good to see you," greeted Dean, pulling me in for a hug that made Tyler frown. Even so, I hugged Sam as well, enjoying their familiar embraces.

"So, where are you guys staying?" Sam asked, hands shoved in his jeans pockets.

"The Historian, on Gibson by the diner," I answered, unable to stop the smile on my face as I spoke.

This only seemed to annoy Tyler further. Quickly he drew an arm around my waist and pulled me to him.

"Yeah, she wanted to make sure we had a good view," he joked, Sam and Dean laughing as I cringed, remembering how upset Tyler was that the neon sign from the diner was visible through our window.

"You know me, only the best," I added.

Everyone laughed but I could feel Tyler's fingers on my ribs like knives.

- - -

"To a hunt well done," Dean toasted, plinking his beer bottle against mine and Sam's. We all drank and shared a small smile, me ignoring the fact that Tyler was dancing with some girl on the dance floor.

"I gotta ask," Sam said suddenly, after several tense moments. "What's with your boyfriend?"

I flicked my eyes momentarily at the girl grinding on him before turning on my stool to face solidly at the bar.

"He's just dancing, its fine," I said monotonely.

Sam and Dean shared a look.

I absent mindedly pulled my flannel sleeves down to cover the hand mark Tyler left from this morning, when I had taken too long to get ready so he gripped me by the elbow and shoved me at the door. My shoulder still stung but I could blame that on the werewolf at least.

"What thhe fuck?" Dean said suddenly. I looked at him oddly until he pointed out a still healing bruise on my sternum, visible with my shirt unbottoned. "What is that, Y/N?"

Nervously I shoved my shirt to the side so it wasnt visible anymore.

"Haven't you ever heard of a hickey, Dean?" I laughed anxiously, sipping my beer and hoping he'd let it go. He didnt.

"That's no hickey. Did he hurt you?" Dean asked seriously, his voice low.

"What?! No! He wouldn't! It... it was my fault. I was carrying the laundry basket and not watching where I was going and he accidentally bumped it into me a little hard. Its nothing," I shrugged it off.

It was from the laundry basket, from when he shoved it at me hard enough to leave a mark. "To remind me of my place," he said.

Sam and Dean just eyed me cautiously as Tyler came back from the dance floor.

"Hey babe, lets go, I'm beat," Tyler said.

I went to argue that i wanted to stay with Sam and Dean but I knew better than to speak out in public.

"Okay. See you guys later," I said, Tyler pulling me quickly away and out of the bar.

He yanked me out into the alley and shoved me against yhe grime covered bricks, pressing kisses to my neck and chest.

"Come on baby, lets do it right here," Tyler said, unbuttoning my flannel quickly.

"Ty, no, lets just go back to the motel," I said, gently pushing at his hands on my body.

"Come on, it'll be hot. You can scream for all the bar to hear," he continued, going for my jeans.

"Ty, I said no, stop it," I said more forcefully, shoving him off me.

He stood a foot away, bewildered for a moment while blood rushed in my ears. Suddenly his hand came fast and heavy against my cheek, knocking my head to the side. I held it in shock as it heated up. Tyler seemed to be gauging my reaction to it which was fear.

He sprung forward again and spun me around, pressing my shoulders against the cold brick as he undid my jeans.

"When I say I want to fuck you, I mean it you dumb prude bitch," he growled against my hair.

I stood, helplessly pressed against the bricks as he yanked my jeans and underwear down and pulled my hips back.

The only indication I gave that I felt him was the shutter as he slid into me. My whole body was numb, the slight rocking the only thing keeping me grounded.

When he was done, he came onto the ground and pushed my hips forward in disgust, making me stumble into the wall.

"Come back when you're ready to be an obedient whore," he spat, pulling up his jeans and walking away.

I felt the shake in my hands as I slowly pulled up my underwear and struggled to button my jeans. I let myself lean against the wall a moment, pressing cold hands over my eyes and smearing tears I didn't know I was making.

I sucked in a deep breath, cleared my face and stared dead ahead. Just another day.

- - -

I realized quickly I didn't want to go back to him so soon. I didn't want to seem that desperate for him. In a spur of the moment I walked to Sam and Dean's motel room, knocking on the door before I remember deciding to. Sam answered.

"Y/N? Whats up?" He asked, voice gentle and slightly tired.

"Hey, sorry to bother you guys, me and Tyler had a little fight so I just wanted to shower here for tonight if thats okay?" I asked timidly.

"Yeah! Yeah sure, whatever you need," Sam replied, letting me in immediately.

Dean was sat up on the bed reading something when he looked up and smiled at me.

"Hey, what're you doing here?" He asked, closing the book to give me his full attention.

"Just need a shower, me and Tyler had a fight," I explained. Dean grinned.

"Finally. You should really dump that douche bag," he commented, standing and walking over to his duffle bag.

"No... we just need ti work some stuff out. I dont know where i'd be without him, he's such a better hunter than me," I said absently, not thinking twice about the words coming out of my mouth.

Sam snorted behind me, Dean sniggered.

"Sure, okay Y/N," Dean said sarcastically.

"Really, I would have died on half my hunts if he hadn't been there," I tried, more to convince myself than them.

"You're ten times the hunter he is, he can barely shoot a sawed-off. But whatever you say, sweetheart. Enjoy your shower," Dean grinned, handing me one of his shirts and a pair of boxers.

As I stood under the steaming hot water and scrubbed my skin raw, I replayed what the boys had said. How could I possibly be a better hunter than him? All he talks about is how much easier it would be for him to do his job if I wasnt around.

I shook off the thought and went back to scrubbing at my thighs viciously.

- - -

I walked out in Dean's oversize Metallica shirt, picking at one of my cuticles, mulling over my options very carefully.

"He hits me sometimes," I mumble, watching Sam and Dean scrunch up their eyebrows before looking at me.

"Huh?"

"Did you say something, sweetheart?"

I turned my eyes up, forcing myself to back eye contact.

"He hits me sometimes," I said again.

I watched as Dean's jaw set and Sam's face turned to stone.

"Not often. I mean, not really anyways. Sometimes its worse than others, especially if he's been drinking," I said, finishing the sentance looking at the ratty carpeting as the nights memories came back.

"Its usually my fault anyways, I take too long, or I forget the laundry, or I get him the wrong beer," I added, trying to justify it in my head again. My face scrunched up as his words came at me as they always do.

"You'd be nothing without me. A dead whore in a ditch somewhere. You're lucky I'm here to teach you."

"He's dead," Dean said simply.

I jumped forward quickly.

"No, dont!" I said, gripping his arm tightly as he stood. "Its fine, I can handle it," I added.

Dean's hand came slowly up to my face and I winced as his fingers ran over the spot where Tyler had slapped me.

"You dont have to," Dean said quietly.

"I love him," I replied, eyes closed. Dean let out a slow breath and stepped back from me.

"Then you better get back to him," he said sharply.

"Dean," Sam interjected, eyebrows creased in disapproval.

"No, if she loves him she can head back to his room, and when he hits her again we'll come pick her up because thats what people who love you do," Dean spoke, eyes sharp and jaw set.

I stared at him a moment longer, my throat tight before I slowly grabbed my things and opened the door. I gave one last glance to Sam whose eyes were wet with unshed tears.

I shut the door behind me and let a few tears of my own fall before I made my way back to Tyler.

- - -

I woke up to the sound of beeping next to my head and throbbing in my ribs. I groaned as I turned my head, my neck stiff and sore as well.

As I looked around at the pale green walls and the bright florescent lights, I recognized the beeping as an EKG.

I panicked, trying desperately to sit up and pull out my IV's until a nurse came in.

"Sweetie, you need to relax, you're pretty banged up," she spoke, gently pushing my shoulder back and readjusting the IV tube on my arm.

I tried to relax, looking up to the ceiling and taking deep breaths to try and stop the tears burning in my eyes.

"Good news is your boyfriend's here, said he was worried when he found out you fell down those stairs. I'll send him up," the nurse spoke kindly, patting my hand before walking out and closing the door behind her.

My throat closed up painfully, tears falling back into my hairline as I thought about Tyler seeing me after what he'd done last night.

[themjinterviews-blog]

47. I got an 8ft bed that never has to be made. You know if it weren't for trucks we wouldn't have tailgates!

1. What type of criminal would you be? An extremely ineffective one. I’m pretty clumsy and severely lack stealth.

2. What are you listening to right now? Brandon’s watching some show on his phone across from me.

3. If you had to choose a stripper name, what would it be? Something awkward and distinctly non-stripper-ish like Constance or Trudy.

4. If your phone started ringing, who would you hope is calling? It��s likely gonna be my folks or Kristy if anything. Or the random number that keeps leaving me telemarketing voicemails in Spanish.

5. Do you drink? Everyone drinks. But if you mean booze, yes, but not too often. It doesn’t serve much functional purpose in my current life. In college and my 20’s it was a way to overcome social anxiety and inhibitions to make friends or meet guys or just get out of my own head. But at 30, I have Brandon and enough already established friendships that I don’t have much use for that particular vice anymore.

6. Do you smoke? Cigarettes, yes, because if I didn’t then how would I get a 5 minute break every few hours at work? “Hey can I sit on the patio and bullshit on my phone for 5 minutes?” doesn’t fly. Weed? On occasion…along the same lines as drinking, it makes me dysfunctional more often than not, and therefor isn’t useful. I’m an uppers and psychedelics type of gal.

7. What is the first thing you notice in someone? Depends on the person and the situation. There isn’t one thing I notice or consistently look for when observing people. I suppose whatever catches my eye about them.

8. Do you get attached easily? Not really.

9. Do you like your eye color? Yeah it’s fine.

10. Have any stupid human tricks? I can sit, stay and give paw.

11. Humor me. What physical ideal do you imagine in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Having ideals like that is kind of a trap. It subconsciously makes you closed-minded to things outside those ideals. If I’m attracted to someone, I’m attracted to them and it’s simple as that.

12. What type of personality traits do you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? I already have a fella so, I’m not looking. And again, I never maintained a certain criteria for any potential mates…if we hit it off and I like you, I’m going to like/accept you for the traits you already presently have, not the traits I want you to “ideally” be.

13. Any other essential quirks/interests/other you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Please don’t be a lunatic and eat/ order your steaks and burgers well done.

14. Any romantic gestures you really like? I’m not really romantic. I suppose I do like the idea of going to Bed and Breakfasts. They always have a vintage, cozy sort of interior décor that fascinates me.

15. Any sexual fantasies? Are you daring enough to share one? I want to have sex in the penguin exhibit at the Phoenix zoo while the penguins and passerby watch.

And yes, I’m definitely messing with you. My sex life isn’t Tumblr's buisness.

16. Have you ever been in love? Honestly, I have 0 idea what that entails. Everything in the past I ever assumed or thought was “in love” was either infatuation, co-dependency, obligation, or other actually self-constructed concepts that were created by me (subconsciously) to fit some current narrative of my life. I’m either completely jaded or completely aware, not sure which.

17. Do you have a crush/romantic interest in anyone? Brandon. And Thor.

18. What’s your sexual orientation (if you feel comfortable answering)? I’m straight.

19. What’s your favorite color and why? Yellow, turquoise, some fuchsia-y shades of purple.

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? Don’t have any that really jump out at me as stand-alone singular incidences.

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Fuck no.

22. What were you like when you were a kid? Like, a less developed version of me now. A Windows 98. & I gave too many fucks about shit that didn’t matter.

23. What would your dream house be like? Small. No bigger than a cottage or double-wide Two bedrooms, kitchenette, a shower with a bath, some laundry machines and a little patio out back or front. Maybe some citrus trees out back. Even if I were filthy rich, this would still be what I’d look for.

24. What last made you laugh? No idea.

25. Do you have a place you like to go to collect your thoughts? My walk-in closet studio:

26. What is your favorite/least favorite word? Favorite: zany Least: dollop.

27. What turns you on? Uniqueness.

28. What turns you off? Conformity, closed-mindedness, regularly wearing Polo shirts of your own accord. Like if you gotta wear one for your work uniform, whatever, but why recreationally wear one?

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yeah. Pretty much exactly the same as swimming not naked.

30. Would you go bungee jumping/sky diving if given the chance? Fuck no, bro.

31. Do you have any siblings? Younger sister and younger brother.

32. Do you like to dance? Definitely not. One of the most mentally uncomfortable activities in all of existence.

33. What is your definition of cheating? Having an intimate connection either physically or emotionally with another person behind your partner's back.

34. Have you ever stolen anything? Umm like string cheese singles and a Bic lighter.

35. Do you regret anything? Nope. I forgave myself for being a completely inconsiderate cunt a few years back.

36. Do you have any phobias? Not really. There’s shit I don’t like but phobia might be too strong.

37. Ever broken any bones? *knock on wood* No.

38. Ever come close to death? Yeah, once or twice.

39. What is your religion/spirituality, if any? I was raised Roman Catholic but I long since have chosen to bypass organized religions all together. I don’t like being told what to think or believe. Plus, am I supposed to blindly ignore the likelihood of humans modifying the teachings to suit some underlying power plays or political agenda? I simply have no way of knowing for certain, so I don’t really worry about it. Same with God or whatever deities could be chilling. No way to actually, tangibly know until we kick it. I just try and not be a dick as much as possible and keep an open mind.

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Yeah. Sometimes a completely impartial human being who can write prescriptions is helpful to have in your corner.

41. Are looks important in a relationship? To a degree. You both have to be attracted to each other. But they don’t matter in the sense of how other people see them. Like, if you like someone but your buddy says their hideous, but you’re instantly love struck, you shouldn't not pursue them.

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? Not sure, honestly. I think it’s pretty evenly distributed.

43. What is your favorite season? Honestly, it depends where I’m living.

44. Do you have any tattoos? 3.

45. Do you have any piercings? Gauged ears, only, as of now. My job just made me remove my lip ring because our primarily elderly patrons kept complaining about it. It’s not like it’s affecting their food or my ability to provide customer service. I don't like the look of elastic band jeans from Walmart but you don’t see me complaining to my boss to demanding that they remove them, do you?

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Like, 4 officially certified relationships. A few stray flings in between.

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Sirius Black (from Harry Potter)…but like before Gary Oldman played him in the movies. I’m not saying Gary is ugly or anything but he’s not the smokin hot John Stamos/Johnny Depp-ish Sirius that my mind concocted.

48. What is your favorite thing to do? Draw/Color.

49. If you could only visit one place outside of your hometown, where would it be? Umm. I don’t know. A tropical island sounds lovely.

50. Do you get jealous easily? Not really. It’s immature, not only do you come off as insecure and emotionally volatile, but being jealous also solves ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Being jealous of someone just makes you angry and unhappy inside. That is all.

[littlespoonevan]

Hey :) I love your hc, you are really talented 😊. Ok so the other day i was rewatching Skam (again) and I was thinking about what would've happened if Isak and Even did have that pre-game for the Halloween party alone so I was wondering what are your thoughts about that? I don't know if there is something about this out there somewhere already but anyway. Thanks

asjdfhdjsafhas anon, i honestly can’t believe i never considered this before omg my thoughts went to some wILD places when i was planning this.there’s so many poSSIBILITIES!!!! i hope u like it

*

Isak feels uncomfortable.

And awkward.

Even’s been here for ten minutes and the conversationhas been about as stilted as it had that day on the tram.

Fuck, Isak never realised before how the majority oftheir previous conversations had had the crutch of a joint to loosen him up. Hestares down at his beer can and takes another swig, hoping it’ll start kickingin soon.

He draws his gaze up after a moment and it flits toEven sitting on the opposite couch. He looks ridiculous, dressed up as God in awhite tunic with a white, bushy wig and beard to complete the look.

(It might actually be more ridiculous that Isak stillwants to kiss him even dressed like that.)

(And he probably shouldn’t think about kissing Evenconsidering all that does is remind him of the kitchen and what almost happenedlast week before Noora showed up.)

“So, where’s Emma tonight?” Even asks, breaking Isak outof his reverie.

He opens his mouth and closes it again, nosewrinkling as he thinks back to his awkward rejection when she’d cornered him inschool to ask if he wanted to do something tonight. “Uh, I think she might begoing to that party?”

Even’s eyebrows quirk and there’s the hint of a smilebehind his eyes. “Thinking you might get lucky?”

Isak’s laugh lasts about three seconds and falls flateven to his own ears. “I’m not- I mean, I don’t really think it’s gonna workbetween us.”

He half expects Even to voice the same complaints hisfriends have been throwing at him for weeks.

“What’swrong with you, Isak? She’s hot.”

“Somegirl a million miles out of your league likes you and you’re- what? Trying toplay hard to get?”

“Whatthe fuck, are you gay?”

Isak grimaces and shakes his head but when he finallylooks over to gauge Even’s reaction there’s something like hope hidden in his expression.

“How come?” he asks quietly, unassumingly.

Isak shrugs, dropping his gaze to his lap again. “Idon’t know, I’m just- I guess I’m not really that into her.”

The longer Even stays silent, the more Isak can feelhimself start to panic. He keeps his eyes steadfastly downcast because he’sconvinced if he looks at Even now he’ll completely give himself away. He hearsrustling that tells him Even’s after standing up and it’s only the irrationalfear that he might leave that causes Isak’s head to snap up at the sound.

He watches, dumbfounded, as Even shuffles around thecoffee table and plops down on the couch beside him. Suddenly close enough forIsak to smell his aftershave, close enough Isak can feel the heat coming off himas he angles his body to face Isak.

“What are you doing?” he asks blankly.

“I was sitting too far away for such a seriousconversation,” Even responds blithely, mouth turned up at the corners when hemeets Isak’s gaze. “So,” he starts, resting his elbow against the back of thecouch and leaning his head on his hand. “Why isn’t Emma your type?”

“I can’t take you seriously when you’ve got thatwhite monstrosity on your head,” Isak says to deflect.

It works. Even makes an offended noise, reeling backwith his hand over his heart. “Excuse me, I put an effort into this costume,” he protests indignantly. “Which is morethan I can say for you. Is your toga made out of a hoodie?”

“Wh- I- Shut up,”Isak sputters, feeling his lips curve up involuntarily when Even’s laugh ringsout in the quiet of the room.

Even pulls the wig off his head, running a handthrough his flattened hair to muss it up. There’s something terribly endearingabout seeing it unstyled. “There. Happy?” Even asks with a pointed raise of hiseyebrows as if he still doesn’t have the beard covering half his face.

Isak bites his lip to hold back a laugh and shakeshis head. He doesn’t know what possesses him to do it – either the alcohol hasfinally kicked in or he’s just feeling brave – but he reaches over and carefullyunhooks the elastic band that’s still holding the beard in place from behindEven’s ears. Even stays completely motionless as Isak lifts the beard up overhis head but he can feel Even’s gaze heavy on him. He carefully avoids it ashis fingers brush over the sides of Even’s cheeks, dropping the beard on thefloor beside the couch.

There’s a moment where they sit too close, a teasingglint still dancing behind Even’s eyes and a faint blush still heating Isak’scheeks, and Isak thinks if he had the guts to do it he might close the distancebetween them. Instead he looks away and lets his eyes land on Eskild’s speakerssitting on the cabinet behind the couch.

“I’m gonna put on some music,” he mumbles, pushing himselfup off the couch and officially breaking the moment.

He plugs his phone in and picks the first playlist hesees when he opens Spotify. He doesn’t even really care what they listen to; he’djust needed a second to breathe. Nas filters out through the speakers and Isakfreezes on his way back to the couch when he hears Even’s delighted laugh.

“Ah so you’ve heard of him now?” Even teases.

“I’d heard of him before,” Isak huffs as he sits backdown, shoving Even’s shoulder for good measure.

“Uh huh,” Even smirks. The I don’t believe you implicit in his grin.

Isak rolls his eyes and reaches for his beer again.Even’s teasing always feels different to his friends teasing him. Even’steasing feels a lot like flirting.

“Anyway back to Emma.”

Fuck.

“Why isn’t she your type?”

Isak considers his options, considers a singleconceivable reason why a straight seventeen-year-old boy wouldn’t like a girllike Emma. He can’t fucking think of a reason and it makes him panic but he’salso just- tired. So fucking tired of having to constantly lie about why hefeels the way he does. So he settles on as close to the truth as he can get. “Shejust- I guess it’s never felt right.”

Even nods, silently gesturing for him to continue.

Isak swallows hard and looks away from Even’ssearching gaze. “Like when we first hooked up, she tried to, y’know- go down onme and it just wasn’t-“

“You didn’t feel comfortable,” Even fills in for himand Isak finally looks at him.

Silently, he nods. “Yeah,” he mutters after a moment.

“That’s okay, you know,” Even continues, voice andexpression completely devoid of judgement. “You don’t have to be ready for thatyet if you’re not.”

Isak shakes his head. “That’s not really it…”

Even nods and Isak can see dawning realisation in hisexpression. Or confirmation, maybe. He’s not sure.

“Honestly, I don’t even really want to go this stupidparty,” Isak admits with a half-hearted laugh closing his eyes and rubbing hishands over his face. He needs to get a grip.

“We don’t have to,” Even says immediately and Isak’s gazesnaps to him again.

“We don’t,” Even repeats. “If you don’t want to seeher. We can just hang out here.”

Isak furrows his brow. “Don’t you wanna go outthough?”

“Not if you’re not,” Even replies simply.

Isak’s mouth tugs up in a grin, some of the lightnessfrom before seeping back into the moment. “Would you miss me that much?”

“Something like that,” Even answers softly. And there’sa flicker of something in his eyes that Isak can’t decipher. Something he’s notsure he’s ready to confront yet.

So he looks away again and starts fiddling with thelid of his beer can. “Why can’t you really dump Sonja?”

The question surprises even him. He hadn’t planned onasking it but he can’t deny he’s curious. Because last week Isak had learnedthree things:

1.    Evensaid he and Sonja have been growing apart.

2.    Evensaid he can’t break up with her.

3.    Eventried to kiss him.

And he thinks, in order for number 3 to make sense,he needs to figure out number 2 first.

Even’s prolonged silence makes Isak look up. He’s gota distant expression on his face as he rolls his beer can from one hand to theother. “It’s complicated,” he sighs finally.

Isak frowns, thinking that’s all he’s going to getbut then Even continues.

“We’ve been together for so long- Sonja’s been therefor me through some shitty things. She’s…familiar. The thought of being on myown after so long is kind of scary.” He finishes it off with an uncertain shrugand Isak doesn’t think he’s ever seen Even look so…vulnerable.

He feels like he’s peeking behind a mask. Even hasalways seemed so put together, so cool and in control. The Even sitting infront of him seems…nervous.

“So it’s like a safety thing?” Isak asks.

“I guess so.” Even sets his can on the table but Isakthinks it might be more so he has something to do than because he actuallywants to put it down. “I’m not sure I’m brave enough to be on my own.”

Isak nods because he doesn’t know what else he cansay. He’s never been in a real relationship before and his desire to tell Evento break up with Sonja is purely selfish. He’s not exactly an objectiveadvisor.

“I’m starting to think I might want to risk itthough,” Even says quietly.

Isak meets his gaze and the intensity with which Evenis looking at him is almost stifling. The air is so heavy around them, Isakfeels dizzy. Feels like, if he’s not careful, he might fall into Even.

(He’s probably in danger of that anyway, though.)

“Why?” he whispers and he doesn’t even know how hemanages to force the word out but it leaves his mouth and then Even’s knee issuddenly touching his.

“I’ve just got a feeling it might be worth it,” Evenwhispers back. He’s got the same look on his face he’d had in the kitchen. Thelook Isak had seen right before he’d ducked his head and lowered his gaze, tooafraid of what that look might mean.

He doesn’t duck his head now though. Instead, he shiftshis body a little where he’s sitting so he’s turned more toward Even. He letshis body sway closer when the arm Even had been resting on the back of thecouch slowly reaches up to slide around his neck. Even’s fingers twist in thehair at the nape of his neck and Isak shivers, eyes drifting closed at thesensation.

“Isak,” Even murmurs and Isak opens his eyes again.Even’s closer, so much closer than he’d been a second ago, and there’s aquestion in his gaze.

Isak puts his hand on Even’s thigh and hopes that’sanswer enough.

Even’s throat bobs and Isak tracks the movement withhis eyes until the tip of Even’s nose is brushing his and Isak’s breath ishitching at the proximity. Their foreheads rolls together and the breathbetween their mouths is shaky and, with his eyes falling shut, Isak feels thefirst tentative brush of Even’s lips against his.

It’s barely a touch but Isak feels it like anelectric shock to the heart.

They don’t really pull away far enough to separate.Instead Even uses the hand on the back of Isak’s neck to guide him in again andslot their mouths together properly.

Within seconds it becomes frantic.

Isak’s fingers dig into Even’s thigh while his other handclutches at Even’s shirt and he can’t tell which one of them is pulling theother closer or if it’s a joint effort. Isak’s used to being the initiator withkisses because he has to be. Because he needs it on his terms. Because it’snormally all for show.

But right now- he’s the one being kissed.

And it’s fucking exhilarating.

Even’s lips are insistent against his own as theywork to pry his mouth open while his hands focus on tugging Isak closer andcloser until he’s practically in Even’s lap. And then Even’s nipping at his lipand slipping his tongue into his mouth and Isak is gone.

Metaphorically. Mentally. Physically.

He feels himself go pliant, feels himself melt alittle against Even and it just feels so right.The way he can feel Even’s mouth curve up at the sides every few seconds likehe’s trying not to smile. The way his lips are already starting to feel tinglyfrom the bruising weight of their kisses. The way his breath keeps exhaling asuneven puffs of air during the milliseconds where their lips are detached.

Even’s body is solid and real underneath his handsand it’s scary but it also makes him want to dig his fingers in harder, makeshim want to leave bruises to say he was here and they did this, makes him wantEven to leave bruises on him to provehe’s not imagining this.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to dothat,” Even mumbles at some point, the words half lost to Isak’s mouth.

Isak turns his head to the side to release a breath,forehead leaning heavily against Even’s as he flicks his gaze up so their eyesmeet. “I’ve got a pretty good idea.”

Even smiles that brilliant, beaming smile at him andIsak is helpless, tipping his head forward to connect their lips again.

Even’s hands move when they kiss this time,gravitating to Isak’s shoulders to gently push him back toward the armrest.Isak takes the hint and lies back even though he can hear his pulse thunderingin his ears. Because suddenly Even is leaning over him – on top of him – and his brain short-circuits.

He’s got a boy lying on top of him. He’s making out with a boy.  And it’s not just any boy; it’s Even. He’s finally, finally kissing Evenand just the thought is enough to make him light-headed.

Even’s lips are just as soft as he imagined they’dbe, his hands just as strong where they squeeze his waist. They’re both toolong for the couch and that fact alone – that slight imperfection – is enoughto put Isak’s mind at ease and take some of the pressure off. Because kissingEven is intense but it’s also fun and maybe he’s still a little awkward andunsure but that’s okay because that’s what makes it actually feel real.

“So we’re not going to that Halloween party, right?”Isak asks breathlessly as Even’s mouth gravitates towards his jaw.

Even pauses and Isak can feel his laugh reverberateagainst his skin. Even pushes himself up on his elbows, reaching out with onehand to pull the gold wreath – that Isak had definitely forgotten about and that’sdefinitely askew on top of his head right now – out of his hair to toss on thefloor beside the couch.

“I think I’d rather stay here,” Even whispers as hesmiles down at Isak and there’s a playfulness in his gaze that makes Isak’sstomach erupt with butterflies.

Isak licks his lips, bravely threads his fingersthrough Even’s hair like he’s been wanting to do since the day he met him andsays, “We can do that.”

*