#gay dating

[nubiannewyorkers]

[icespur]

Incorrect Quotes Akeshu #103

Akechi: How do I make a date really romantic? Ann: Be mysterious. Akechi: Okay! *later, while on a date with Akiren* Akiren: So where are we going? Akechi: None of your fucking business.

[boybasher]

[andrxsfxcks]

If u kick out every FtM in this country, who are you gonna text on Grindr at 2 am⁉️ Huh conservatives ⁉️😡🤨

[theonlydrewboo]

This. 💙

[gays-bears]

Gay History Lesson: Remember When The Advocate Invented Bears?

Yes, that's right. You have to thank our sister publication for the iconic gay lingo!

There seems to be some discussion about who actually coined the term "bear" as a descriptive term for hairy, burly, thick gay men. Some claim it was Richard Bulger, who, along with his then-partner, Chris Nelson (1960-2006), founded Bear Magazine in 1987. But nope! It was Out's sister publication The Advocate! Bulger and Nelson were smart enough to make a cottage industry of it.

Arguably, the first usage was by George Mazzei in his article "Who's Who at the Zoo?" in the July 26, 1979, issue of The Advocate. Beautifully illustrated by talented longtime Advocate cartoonist Gerard Donelan, the article went on to blithely categorize other gay men and lesbians as types of animals in the zoo.

It was a simpler time. Is it funny now? Does it hold up? That's for you to judge.

Scroll through to see more of Mazzei and Donelan's epic gay animal glossary!

[roberta4a]

[iblameashley]

Family

Military | Male | Gay

1,720 words Content: Fluff, No Spoilers

Follow up to: Paths (loosely)

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley | John 'Soap' MacTavish | Ghoap

!!!SFW!!!

Simon is enjoying a peaceful morning on the porch of the MacTavish family home when he gets a visit from Soaps niece Elsie (My name for her). This little girl isn't afraid of the big scary military men, though.

If you read "Paths", please ignore the end where Simon is re-named Sam. For ease of understanding, Simon remains Simon in this follow-up.

Retirement isn't easy for some soldiers, especially soldiers names Simon 'Ghost' Riley; after all, he was a dead man as a civilian, and he was now listed as KIA after the Makarov mission. There was a part of him that wanted to resist retirement when Price offered it - ordered it, really - but Johnny was alive, and so was the last part of Simon that felt human.

Soap had found a way to dig himself under Simon's rough exterior and stir something within the man that even Simon figured had long since died. Given the chance to have a real life outside of the military? Outside of doing nothing but killing? How could he not take that chance now that he had fallen in love?

Simon was sitting on the front steps of the MacTavish family home in Scotland enjoying the fresh air of the early morning. A small haze of fog rolled over the fields nearby as rays of golden light beamed in his direction. His hoodie was zipped up tight and the hood resting loosely on his head, not that he needed the extra warmth, but it made him feel more at ease.

Simon sucked in a breath and slowly exhaled, watching his breath swirl in the air before disappearing. His new mask was a simple black face mask; Soap insisted. He scratched at it, but he still felt strange without something on his face, even around his new family. They seemed to understand though. Simon wasn't exactly sure what they had been told, but no one forced him to remove the mask outside of family dinners and he was okay with that.

He rested his arms on his knees and continued to stare out into the world, contemplating his options for this new life. Price had given him a second chance and he didn't want to waste it.

"Uncle Si!" Chirped a voice. It was Elsie, one of Soaps many nieces. He had met her the day he arrived in Scotland and she hadn't stopped tracking him down every day since. She skipped over to him from the front door and plopped down beside him wearing her usual big smile. She fiddled with his curly red hair as he looked up at him curiously.

"Elsie." Simon nodded at her in his usual gravelly voice. Somehow, he didn't mind being called Uncle Si. Elsie made it feel pleasant and normal, though everyone else tended to call him 'Riley'.

"You're always up so early!" She stated, almost offended. "You should sleep in!"

Simon smirked under his mask. He was luck enough to sleep, but to sleep in. Fuck no. He didn't want to be unconscious any longer than he had to be, even Soaps presence beside him wasn't always enough to ward off the nightmares that consumed him.

"Maybe." He finally replied, giving her another nod.

Elsie lived on the farm next to Soaps, and made it her personal mission every day to come over and visit her 'favourite uncles', as she put it. Of all of Soaps nieces and nephews, she was the most outgoing and in-your-face. It was a good thing she was cute.

Simon could see a bit of Soap in her; bot physically and in her personality. Though she had distinctive features too, like the freckles that ran from cheek to cheek.

"Need something, love?" Simon asked curiously. His eyes scanned her face. He let out another long breath, watching it curl in the air again.

"The others," She meant the other nieces and nephews, "say that you wear that mask because you have scars all over your face." She stated in her usual firm and confident tone. And accurately, in this case. "Is that true?" She tacked on with a tilt of her head.

She had those same blue eyes Soap did, and she too had wormed her way into his heart, though Simon tried desperately to hide it. Simon tilted his head up and stared back at the rising sun. He grit his teeth as he considered what to say.

"Its true." He admitted with a nod. His heart twisted a bit in his chest, he had never cared about his scars until people started caring about him.

"Can I see?" Elsie asked bluntly. She batted her eyes at him as if she had simply asked him how old he was, or if he wanted to eat breakfast with her. A true MacTavish.

Simon's eyes darted to the side to look at her before he shook his head. He swallowed a lump in his throat and pulled his legs in a little close. "Sorry love..." He mumbles as his eyes fell to the ground. "My face is really scary, I don't want to scare you." He explained in a tone softer than even he knew he could manage.

"I'm not scared, uncle Si." Elsie replied with an annoyed huff. "And uncle Soap say's you're pretty. I heard him." her head bobbed up and down.

Simon let out a deep chuckle. "That so?" He questioned her. He couldn't help but feel a smirk tug at the corner of his lips.

He turned slightly to face her, relaxing himself a bit. "I'm curious to know what else uncle Soap has said about me." he wondered.

Elsie beamed. "I'll tell you a secret." She said, dropping her voice to a whisper. He leaned into Simon and waited for him to come closer.

Simon's interest was certainly piqued, so slowly, he lowered himself down to her level. "What is it?" I asked in an equally low voice.

"I'll only tell you if you take your mask off."

Cheeky kid. Simon's eyes widened, she knew how to get what she wanted, and he found it amusing. He weighed his options, she could be lying to get what she wanted, but she also had a knack for knowing all the gossip in the family.

"You really want to see my face that bad?" He asked, a little exasperated.

"Yup!" Elsie replied joyfully.

"Alright, love." Simon conceded. He reached up and pulled the hood back and off his head, letting his short blond hair fee. He hesitated before moving his hand to the strap of the mask and unhooking it from his ear.

He turned his head away briefly as he unhooked the other strap and folded the mask in his hand. He felt uncomfortable and exposed, but slowly turned his head to look at Elsie.

Simon felt the muscles in his face twitch as Elsie's eyes scanned the scars that marred his face. She gave away nothing as her eyes darted back and forth.

"Did they hurt?" She finally asks in a soft, concerned tone.

A lump formed in Simon's throat which he promptly swallowed - albeit with some effort - and allowed himself a small smile. "Yeah, they did." Simon confesses.

"Mama always kisses mine better." Elsie explained. She lifter her leg up on step and pulled her sock down a little to show Simon her most recent battle scar, covered with a cute pink band aid.

Simon let out a mocking grunt, "Looks bad." he teased, "You think you're going to make it, love?" He queried.

Elsie gave a firm nod and smiled. "Yup!" She hummed, "I'm strong just like you and uncle Soap." She asserted.

The front door creaked open and as Elsie had summoned him herself, Soap appeared with sleepy eyes. "Aye, whats this now?" He questioned the two of them.

He slowly pattered over to Simon and Elsie in his pyjama pants and t-shirt. He gave a yawn as he reached down and picked Elsie up. "You bothering uncle Si again?" he jest before peppering her cheek with several kisses.

Elsie giggled and squirmed in Soaps embrace. "Uncle Soap! Stop!" she grumbled with embarrassment.

Soap took a seat on the steps beside Simon, their legs pressing against each other and Elsie resting on Soaps lap. "Morning love." Soap muttered with a still sleepy voice. He leaned in and places a soft kiss to Simon's lips. "What are you two chatting about?" He asked.

Simon gave his signature grunt and a nod to Soap. "Morning." He mumbled after Soaps lips parted from his.

"Uncle Si and I were looking at our scars!" Elsie chimed in. "Uncle Si said his hurt." She explained as she rocked slightly on Soaps lap.

"...and she was telling me her mama kissed all hers better." Simon added. He leaned himself into Soap until their shoulders were touching.

"Did anyone kiss yours better?" Elsie finally asked as she peered back up to Simon.

He shook his head 'no.'

Elsie frowned. She jumped from Soaps lap and moved to face Simon, using the stairs to bring herself to eye level. "What?" She said, clearly offended. "No one?"

Simon shook his head again.

"If ye like I..." Soap started with a smirk, only to be interrupted by Elsie.

Elsie leaned in and gave Simon a kiss on his larges scar - the one that ran from his temple down to his jaw - with an exaggerated 'muah!'

"All better!" She beamed at him.

Simon sat there in absolute shock for a moment as his brain processed what had happened; he wasn't accustomed to such kindness. He cleared his throat. "Thanks, Elsie." I managed to rumble out in his deep voice.

Elsie nodded and then took up the last bit of space on the steps beside Soap.

"I'd have kissed em' better had ye asked." Soap chimed in.

Simon let out a sigh and looked over at Soap.

"Later then, love?" Soap added with a shit-eating grin. He wrapped his arm around Simon and pulled him close. "Ahm jus' teasin' ye Simon." He chuckled.

Soap moved his mouth next to Simon's ear. "Mostly." He added with a whisper before placing a small peck on Simon's cheek.

Simon shook his head slightly, but deep down looked forward to seeing if Soap really meant it.

Soap pulled Elsie into a hug and rested his head on Simon's shoulder. This is what he dreamt of.

Simon sat there with Soap and Elsie, still unsure what a soldier like himself was to do in retirement, but he knew this was a part of it.

He also knew he'd have to talk to Elsie later to find out what else Soap has said about him.

[pleasuremehere]

How can Black people in Kink deal with this type of discrimination?

Unfortunately, racism and discrimination will likely always exist in the BDSM and kink communities, because it continues to exist in culture and society. Yet, there are ways Black people can navigate these discrepancies safely to feel more comfortable and empowered.

Below are some tips for addressing or preventing discrimination as a Black kink:

Don’t blame yourself: If you encounter racism, please know that it’s no fault of your own. “Part of dealing with racism is learning to stop blaming yourself,” Dr. Murphy says. “Black people are socialized to feel responsible for the discomfort that White people experience around them.”

Be confident in setting boundaries: Be upfront about your sexual limits. “If something doesn’t sit well with you, then it’s okay to set a hard boundary,” King says. “You can tell people what will and won’t do, and if they don’t respect that, then it’s your right to completely disengage.”

Vet new spaces: Take time to explore new communities by attending munches. “When you’re joining a kinky community, start by attending a munch, as opposed to immediately going to a play party,” King explains. “A munch is a social event for kinky people. Munches are an ideal way to integrate yourself into the kink scene as a beginner for a few reasons.

Safe Spaces for Black people in Kink

If you’re a Black person new to kink or BDSM or someone with much experience in these spaces, know that there are communities that are more than welcoming to BIPOC. Here are some communities that provide a safe space for Black people to indulge in kinky activities or resources on navigating stigma and discrimination in BDSM and kink:

BLX Alternative

Sex Down South Conference

Hacienda

Black Kink Social

Dark Haven ATL

Kinky Black House

Don’t be afraid to connect with others virtually to learn more about the BDSM and kink communities and share experiences. “One positive of technology is the ability to connect with people and do research before entering into new spaces,” Dr. Murphy says. “When you can meet other people in the kink and BDSM communities prior to physically entering a new space, you can gain information on dynamics and learn about the experiences of others.”

While BDSM and kink are predominantly White, there are tons of Black people who enjoy kink. However, much discrimination exists in these communities due to race play and microaggressions that can oppress them. While it’s essential to identify and address racism when it arises in kink spaces, Black people should also seek communities that are designed for BIPOC so they can freely explore their sexuality without the fear of being verbally or physically harmed because of the color of their skin.

[acelessthan3]

Friends: I don't know how you keep track of all these men.

Me: It's easy.

*starts listing off a dozen different relationships with varying levels of ongoing or fluid significant physical, romantic and/or emotional intimacy*

*starts listing off a dozen more crushes*

*starts listing half a dozen close friends I would totally add to the first list if they were down*

[dontworryyoucanchangeitlaterrrr]

the amount of short latino men i’ve dated is concerning