#gernade

[serhope]

I call a gaderade a grenade this is has gotten I keep saying that I don't want to get in trouble for this.

[netheris]

'Hernade'

[forgetful-nerd]

What do you mean turtles are highly trained ninjas? They’re just silly little goobers!

[assassinhomecreedstuck]

Jäger Rainbow Six, as seen in the Brava comic

[toxooz]

Rest well! Don't push yourself, you better better act like you were sliced opened! LAY DOWN

I WILL I WILL hell even me tryin to pee was just pitiful as all hell lmfao😭 imma be layin here for a WHILE

[vanlegion]

"You got sum kinda Death Wish, Son?!

Ain't no one who's gone up against Church an' The Blues an' lived ta see the light of next day! Case in point, yur fat friend was almost a lost cause! Yur just lucky my spare robo-parts acclimated to your body so well! But enough bout that! You got a real set of brass balls to be goin' on this warpath and we need that for Blood Gulch!" Simmons kicks up his weapon, growling. "We'll circle back." - - - I will not let go of this parody just yet. I still have more to give! *shakes fist*

[briceterry]

Bombman: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Gutsman: What if it bites me and it dies?!

Bombman: Then you're poisonous, Gutsman.

Elecman: What if it bites itself and I die?

Bombman: That's voodoo.

Cutman: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Bombman: That's correlation, not causation.

Fireman: WHAT IF WE BITE EACH OTHER AND NEITHER OF US DIE!?

Grenade man, appearing from out of nowhere: That's kinky!

Iceman: Oh my god...

[qnpc04]

badboyhalo stop destroying stuff in teardown and let tubbo LORE DUMP ON YOU

[alildrifter]

NO BECAUSE I CANT WAIT FOR THE COSTCO SCENE BECAUSE I WANNA HERE HIM SAY YUKI’S NAME GENTLY

[forthesanityofsome]

Arcane...in Pal World.

[rabotimagines]

"Battlefield flirting" GN BOT Reader x Megatron, Starscream, Thundercracker, The Constructicons

Summary: He was on the battlefield trying to stay focused when suddenly your voice rings out much closer than anyone should currently be to his frame, let alone the enemy!

G1 characters: Megatron, Starscream, Thundercracker, The Constructicons

Warnings: Sexually charged mild to rather violent fantasies across the board (aka the cons being cons), This ones more Mature instead of Explicit

Genre/Theme: Annoying/Sexually frustrating the cons.

Pronouns: You, Your, Yours

Notes: GN Autobot! Reader calling The cons pet names/flirting, The cons get sexually frustrated by the enemy (you), written with an older reader in mind (Megatron and Starscream call reader "Old.") Reader is playful with the cons.

"Think fast, sweet thing!" Megatron jolts and whips around when the phrase is shouted at him. And he has a nano-klick to see your infuriating smile and to feel the baffling touch of your em field brushing over his frame. All before registering the EMP-gernade, you hurled at him. Megatron curses wildly before throwing himself over a mound of rock while the EMP-gernade goes off. He grits his denta hard when the pulse still rocks his frame and ends up forcing a portion of his systems to shut down near immediately. Megatron shoves his cannon over the side of his cover and misses his shot at you. You only laughed at the whiffed shot and almost nailed Megatron in the optic with your returned fire. It instead scrapes his helm and forces him to pull back with a hiss. "Woah! Close one there, sugar! C'mon try again for me dear!" Megatron grits his jaw hard enough his denta ache. You obnoxious old fool!

Megatron despises you! A nail in his side! That's what you've been for him through this entire war. His ire has only grown for you since arriving on earth. You've seem keen on annoying him (and his mechs) as thoroughly as you can by mockingly calling them "Pet names" of all things. What drivel! However, you didn't survive this long on pure luck. And Megatron knows he'll more than likely have to kill you himself if he wanted you permanently off of this playing field. So he has to grit his jaw and square his pauldrons whenever another disgustingly sweet phrase rolls off of your glossia. Knowing he needed to focus if he wanted to gain the upper servo in the fight.

Megatron denies the obvious heat that starts to burn in his frame whenever he sees your playful expression and when he's close enough to feel your em field. But after enough battle encounters- and when you simply still will not shut up! That is when he doesn't even bother denying it anymore. Megatron wasn't just going to best you and then kill you. No. He was going to win, then take you apart while he puts you in your place.

You best hope you don't get captured by the Decepticons. Because Megatron knows exactly what he's gonna make you put that mouth of yours to better use for.

-

"Hey, doll face!" It's not the phrase but the almost sultry touch of an em field on his frame that makes Starscream whip his helm to the side in bafflement. He has enough time to see your smile before you slam the edge of your blaster into his faceplate. The Autobot scout he had pinned runs like a little coward as soon as Starscream's attention is off of him. Starscream lifts his nullray and fires it at you while you just dodge and dive for cover. Starscream huffs and tastes his own energon, and he's not just mad. He is furious!

"You blasted old annoying piece of scrap!" Starscream fires his null ray at where you're hiding.

"Aw, c'mon sweetness, give a mech a little credit!" You finish the exclamation by firing and barely missing a shot at one of his wings. The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this autobot glitch!

Starscream growls out in fury before transforming and taking to the sky. Fully and aggressively planning on dive bombing you from above for your transgressions!

Starscream loathes your annoying, incessant self with a passion that knows no end. You were an irritating autobot asset before- now you're an infuriating pain in his aft! The galling mockery of affection of all things rolling off your glossia. The aggravating smile and amusement on your faceplate! Your blasted perverse little em field! Killing you before would have simply been an act by him as second in command as the Decepticons. But now? Starscream needs to feel your energon staining his servos and your spark giving out underneath his pede. And he wouldn't settle for anything less! If he sees the opportunity to do you harm? Starscream is not allowing the chance to slip him by!

The heat that starts plaguing Starscream's frame when he sees your smarmy faceplate only succeeds in feeding into his ire for you. Starscream was going to kill you- But then he realizes it's not enough. You deserved much worse from him! Starscream needs to hurt you. Starscream needs to break you! He wants no more sycophantic little phrases and names- The only thing out of you besides begging for mercy would be Starscreams designation.

If Starscream gets his servos on your sparkdamned frame, he was going to carve his designation into your chasiss with a talon if he had to. Just you fragging wait!

-

"Hey, hot stuff! Hope you can handle all of this!" Thundercracker's helm jerks to the side just in time to see you before you full frame tackle him. Knocking him right off his pedes and onto the ground. You both end up a tangle of limbs and frames. Which quickly leads to grappling with one another. Servo to servo your locked over each other while you're both trying to gain the upper hold. Thundercracker starts gaining the upper grasp in it only for you to grin at him. Your em field brushes over Thundercrackers' frame in a hot but very genuine feeling of playfulness, and it makes him falter momentarily in confusion. "Hey hottie!" Barely registers on his audials before you slam your helm into Thundercrackers olfactory hard enough his optics short for a nanoklick. You then slam yourself into his frame again and knock him back off his pedes.

Thundercracker didn't know what to think about you. He enjoys a proper fight almost more than anything. He just can't comprehend your little name-calling act you've started doing. It's almost as confusing as your em field. Your- fluttering and very unashamed em field that would brush out against him even when you were trying to kill each other and covered in each others energon and on a battlefield. Wait was this- Thundercracker has to shut down the insane idea that this was some slagging- romance novel of all things. He's been indulging in too many human things in his free time he needed to get it together.

And then the heat starts, and that's when Thundercracker immediately realizes he's fragged. Totally and completely fragged. He fell for the enemy, whom he regularly gets into full frame life or death scraps with. He was going to get beaten up next time he saw you because he's not gonna be able to fight back without getting horny about it- Except that also gets him going. So Thundercracker decides to just power through and fight you properly. Thundercracker even entertains the thought of meeting you in secrecy to spar. Like you weren't on opposing sides at war.

When Thundercrackers alone in his habsuite, he even lets himself entertain the thought of said imaginary spar ending with you both covered in each others energon and paint. Like so many times before but this time it's different. Because you're alone with one another... No need to worry about either of your factions. Away from the world and any prying optics from either side-

Thundercracker pinning you down, venting hard... with his spike pressed up against your own. (He's so fragged!)

-

Devastator is reigning destruction on the autobot scum that have made a mess of their plans again! They were in a feeble human construction area and watching the Autobots run like cyberants under their pedes for cover. "Hey hunk-a-lunk!" The voice is loud, and the only reason they all turn in the first place is because they are all either baffled by the name or by the affectionate little em field that brushes against their armor. Devastator turns to see you standing on one of the humans made constructions. When they see you, your smile widens, and your em field actually pushes further against their frame. And it's? Pleasant? Confusion running through all of them is what stops Devastator for a moment. "Keep standing still for me, darling!" You threw something, and it doesn't even hit their frame before the EMP-gernade you tossed explodes right next to them. They can barely shout before the electromagnetic pulse surges through half of their systems and forces them to shut down. Devastator falls into a heap of half conscious constructicons.

Scrapper does not like you, short, sweet, and simply put. The names especially rubbed him the wrong way. Who were you to call him that? Let alone all of them. Scrapper is planning on multiple different projects for your frame parts if they can actually manage to take you out. Your parts definitely deserve some long use, especially with how long you've been annoying them.

Hook is conflicted because it's obvious he deserves every ounce of praise and affection thrown his way! The fact that he's been neglected all this time in that particular department means he's rather accepting of the verbal admiration. He, however, wants to toss you like scrap for your em field audaciously runs along his own. Who do you think you are? touching him? As a filthy Autobot?

Mixmaster is the exact opposite of Hook. He loves the foreign heavy and almost floaty touch of your em field feels against his frame. It makes him want to get closer and feel more of it and see how strong that feeling can get. While on the other servo, he hates the names you call them all. They were Decepticon warriors, not show cars for some fleshy fetish event.

Bonecrusher is more conflicted on the fact that he likes the way you look and smile at him while your em field and names also make him wanna scrap you. He genuinely has no fragging clue why the curl in your derma and the light softness in your optics makes his engine wanna stall. But that softness only makes the urge to ruin you that much heavier.

Scavenger loves the names, the expressions, and your em field. Oh, primus, he's an utter mess around you. Completely and utterly adores you and he can't get enough of you. Every look, name, and touch from your em field on the battlefield has him wanting to fold like a house made of aluminum. He knows you're the enemy but you're so sweet to him Scavenger just can't help it okay! (The other constructicons actively have to make an effort to keep Scavenger away from you on the battlefield.)

Long haul is frankly surprised that besides Scavenger he's the only one who also genuinely likes all of you. So he just keeps that fact to himself. You were hot, flirty, sweet. Sure, you were a filthy Autobot, but not everyones perfect. Long haul could get used to the positive attention even if it was from an unusual source. It's not like the constructicons had anything else to do but sit and wait around for projects from Megatron. There was no harm in Long haul having something for himself to enjoy in private...

The heat starts with exactly one of them (Long haul.) Scavenger to this day swears it was not him who started the cursed thought, (It was Long haul.) But they combine to form Devastator and you behave as you do. And then that hot and heavy heat courses through every single one of them because they are one as Devastator. Afterward, they're all freaking out about the sudden arousal they just now share towards an autobot of all bots while threatening Scavenger with frame damage for starting it in the first place. (Long haul was taking this slag to his deactivation)

The next time they form Devastator and you distract them with names and your touchy em field, though? Heat is simultaneous across all of them. That's when they decided as Devastator that they needed to have you. Devastator abandons the task to instead try to get a hold of you. They could break you apart and fix you up into something better for all of them. If only the other Autobots weren't so annoyingly protective of their own...

They didn't have room for anything as ridiculous as love as Decepticons. (Especially not for an Autobot.) But they certainly had an empty position open for a new toy.

[arc-misadventures]

Friends AU: Still want to know how the other specialists react to pictures of Jaune's nephew, and whether or not Winter is now planning on calling Saphron for Jaune's baby pictures

Sorry, I would have answered these sooner, just couldn't make it work. Until now!

///

I Regret That Now

Marrow: Oh gods... it's in my tail?!

Jaune: I thought, Grimm didn't have guts!?

Vine: They don't.

Harriet: Then why the hell am I covered in Grimm guts?!

Winter: Because, you destroyed, Vilbiofactor's creep sack, after you threw a gernade down it's throat, and it exploded. It's filled with biowaste that the, Grimm produces. It fires these as a bioweapon, granted when it get's vomited it is there where it is actually dangerous, so you should be happy you didn't get covered in that.

Harriet: Oooo, listen to misses fancy pants rich Mcgee over here! Fuck you!

Winter: E-Excuse me?!

Jaune: Please forgive her; She's just upset that we're covered in, Grimm guts, and you're not.

Winter: Very well, I'll let it slide...

Jaune: Now then, everyone hit the showers!

~~~

Jaune: Bleh... I swear I got some of that in my mouth... tasted like black licorice.

Marrow: Oww... my tail hurts from all the scrubbing... can you top off my aura, Jaune?

Jaune: Yeah sure.

Marrow: Ahh, hahaha! That's the stuff.

Jaune: Oi! What did I say about weird noises when I top off your aura?!

Marrow: Nothing sexual?

Jaune: No! Don't say anything at all!

Marrow: Sorry...

Jaune: Haa whatever... I gotta grab my spare officers uniform now... I need to send all of my stuff to the cleaners. As well as my armour at that! That blasted, Grimm gunk has caked itself onto my armour!

Clover: Hey, relax, Jaune it won't take that long to get rid of it.

Jaune: Oh, stuff it, Lucky Charms!

Clover: What did I do?

Vine: I think he's angry that you didn't get covered in, Grimm guts, even though you were in the blast zone.

Jaune: Very much so.

Clover: Hey?!

Harriet: Ahh~! That's better... you guys doing better?

Jaune: No, only if I can shove, Clover into a mud pit!

Clover: Hey?!

Elm: Good luck with tha...? Hey, Jaune, what are those photos in your locker?

Jaune: These? Oh. they're just photos of my family.

Winter: You put family photos in your locker?

Jaune: Yeah, is there a problem with that?

Vine: Of course it's fine, it's just... There is ten people in that photo alone.

Jaune: Oh yeah, that's my mom, and dad, and my seven sisters.

Elm: Seven sisters?!

Jaune: Yeah, my sisters, and I like to think my parents were really trying for a boy. But, we all know that they just have high libidos... very high libidos... and, loud...

Clover: Ouch.

Harriet: Uhh... Jaune, who's that pair with the kid?

Jaune: Hmm? Oh, that's a photo of my sister, Saphron, and her wife, Terra, and my nephew, Adrian.

Harriet: Nephew...?

Winter: You're... you're an uncle, Jaune...?

Jaune: Yeah.

Harriet: Oh he look adorable!

Winter: He'll be a heartbreaker when he grows up!

Jaune: Uhh, yeah...?

Marrow: You two interested in babies?

Winter: Well...

Harriet: I wouldn't put it like that.

Vine: What, Marrow meant is, are you interested in starting a family one day?

Elm: Oh, you made it sound like you meant something else entirely, Marrow.

Marrow: My bad, I've just seen a lot of woman act weird around babies. Baby fever, and all of that stuff. But, my question still stands, are you two interested in retiring from the, Specialists, and starting a faily?

Winter: Well... I admit... I am interested in having a family some day. With a loving husband, and a few kids running around. But, only with someone special~!

Jaune: Uhh...?

Elm: What about you, Harriet?

Harriet: Oh, I'm in the same boat as, Winter. I hope to have a family one day too, with... with a special someone~!

Clover: Uh oh...

Vine: What about you, Elm?

Elm: Only if they're okay with adoption.

Jaune: Are you okay explaining that?

Harriet: Why are you asking if she's, 'okay' saying she wants to adopt?

Elm: Because, Jaune has a highly analytical mind, and from that one word he figured out that I'm infertile.

Jaune: Damn, I was hopping my guess was wrong...

Harriet: Wait, what?!

Vine: Is that true, Elm?

Elm: Yeah. I was basically born infertile, nothing major, that's just how it is sometimes.

Jaune: I'm sorry to hear that, Elm. I hope I didn't make you upset asking you that.

Elm: It's alright. Like I said, maybe I'll adopt some kid someday. But, at the very least, I can be the cool aunt when you two have kids!

Winter: Well, I'd hold my breath if I was you, I don't know when that will happen. Hopefully, soon though~!

Jaune: Uh oh...

Harriet: Same, but who knows... maybe I'll get 'lucky' some day~!

Clover: Oh shit...

Harriet: Well, I've got to get going, I've got some paperwork I need to catch up on. I'll see you guys later.

Marrow: Yeah, I've got some paperwork to catch up on too.

Winter: Good luck you two. I need to go to the training grounds to check up on some equipment. If you have time to spare, can you help me with them, Elm?

Elm: Sure, lead the way, Winter.

Vine: Well, I'm going to go rest, I am tired from that mission. I'll see you later everyone.

Winter: Goodbye.

Elm: See ya!

Vine: Good luck.

Harriet: Have fun.

Marrow: See you tomorrow!

And, with that; Everyone soon left, leaving the leader, and the rookie of the, Specialists all alone.

Jaune: ...

Clover: ...

Clover: Whelp... we're boned.

Jaune: Pretty much...

Clover: What should we do now?

Jaune: Hmmm...

Jaune: Squeaky Cog?

Clover: Oh gods yes! I really need a drink after hearing what, Harriet hinted at.

Jaune: Same. The way, Winter looked at me... (Shudder!)

Clover: I'm so glad you told me to buy those condoms... Otherwise...

Jaune: Otherwise, I'd be holding you at gun point threatening to fill you full of lead if you didn't marry her. That's if, Winter, or gods forbid, Elm didn't get to you first...

Clover: ...

Clover: N-N-Noted...

Jaune: Good. Now come on, drinks are on me. And, we're going to need it...

Clover: Yeah... We're going to need it...

[trickylittle-nightmares]

Homie really had a cartoon funny moment😂

i can't imagine a world in which i haven't put this video on my page

[demonic-charcuterie]

Asmodeus x Fizzarolli x mob boss! Reader

Ozzie pulled on his morning robe as Fizzarolli listed off his morning schedule.

“And then we need to take a trip to the greed.” Fizzarolli said while Ozzie slid his bacon on the white plate.

“Greed?” Ozzie’s deep voice said washing his hand.

“Y/n is back from her business trip. I figured we could surprise her.” Fizz said smiling wildly.

“Maybe you should called first? Remember last time you should up unannounced?”

Fizzarolli shuddered as chills ran down his back while he dialed your number

You had just put a spear to someones head when your phone started ringing with that adorable wind chime ringtone you have just for your Fizzpop which of course drowned out by the sound of gun fire to you just assumed it was your work partner Sergey.

“NOWS REALLY NOT A GOOD TIME SERGEY, WHAT THE FUCK!?!!?…WAIT HOLD ON I THINK I HAVE ANOTHER GERNADE…BANG! THATS RIGHT YOU BITCH ASS!”

Fizzarolli held his ear away from the phone until the sound of yelling and gunfire suddenly stopped at the sound of a limousine door closing.

“It’s Fizzy silly!” He said giggling.

“OH FIZZY! Baby, honey how have you been! I’m sooooooo sorry my work trip lasted so much time. Have you been eating alright and how about those new limps me and Ozzie were working on. Is Ozzie near by. I’m so sorry my super cute ringtone for you was drowned out by the all the screaming of pain and agony!”

“Everything’s FINE! I was just wondering if my and Ozzie could come over~?” His raspy voice growled into the phone and if you hadn’t been sitting your knees would’ve have given out.

“I-oh! Did we have a date tonight!? One sec babes. STAN! STAN YOU SHIT FACED BITCH YOU DIDNT TELL ME I HAD A DATE TONIGHT!”

Ozzie raised an eye and then grinned to himself. “They are so fucking hot when they yell.” He said his legs shuddering. Fizzarolli nodded his head in agreement as he mouthed ‘I know right’. Ozzie gently took the phone from Fizzarolli’s hand his deeply sinful voice rang out into your ear.

“Hey mami~” He whispered and your jaw went slack. “Baby boy is that you?” You asked as you felt your legs quenching at the sound of your handsome man’s voice.

“Yeah it’s. How’ve you been baby.” He asked smirking. “It’s been good, same old same old, breaking backs and cracking skulls!” You giggled and kicked your feet against the seat. Satan’s fucking taint this motherfucker.

“Great great. You know what me and Fizz would really love?” He asked as he heard your voice hitch over the phone. Fizz extended his arm and snatched the phone. “For. You. TO BREAK OUR FUCKING BACKS WHIEL YOU USE US AS LITTLE FUCK TOYS!”

Ozzie looked at Fizz in surprise. You giggled on the other side of the phone and you whisper in a raspy voice into the phone. “Come over. I’ll be ready for you.”

Fizz rested on Ozzie shoulder as one of your goons marched them down to your room. You sat on a chair in the center of the room with your broad surrounding you. “Ahh the Sun of Lust, the fuck are you doing here.” You spat (it pained you to act with such disgust towards your love) your eyes peered into fizzaroli. “And you brought the sex toy?”

Ozzie stared at you expressionless and waved a hand to your board. You sighed and flicked your wrist. “Leave us.” They all scurried out of the room.

You drew the curtains and closed the door and then turned to them. “My babies!” You screamed before jumping into their arms.

“Oh honey how we’ve missed your voice…and your touch.” Ozzie said while using his pinkie finger to stroke your head.

“We’ve even thinking about you all week!” Fizz said wrapped his arms around you.

(That’s it cause I’m tired 🥱)

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

🦇Batfamily Conversations pt.3🦇

*At a Christmas party*

Young!Jason: Hey, did you know that I asked Santa for a gernade for Christmas?

Socialite: *shocked, panicked* Y-You did?

Jason: And I will know that Santa Claus isn't real if he doesn't give me one!

Dick: *panicking, and stuttering* Santa won't give out gernades!

Jason: *huffs, crossing arms and ignoring the socialite* Yeah, huh! Because if he doesn't then he isn't real!

[can-i-roll-for-it]

Paula is everything to me. She is everything. She is destined to divorce everywhere she goes. Her kids taught her to play the sims (she still got divorced there and she cant evenr build walls). She breaks monitors. She made out with a mirror. She threw a gernade and immediately regretted it. She misses her ex husband. Her ex-husband might miss her too. She has a son now who she didn't care about until.he almost died but now he's here.