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victorygrasped · 5 months

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ramyatta roleswap au extracts

Pairing: Ramattra/Zenyatta word count: 1533 Notes: some extracts from a hypothetical fic of my ramyatta roleswap au, ramblings/explanation ab it here on twitter! Takes place in a time similar to current canon. Ramattra meeting Zenyatta for the first time since the latter left Shambali

There.

Hidden within the shadows of chaos and discord he noted the lone omnic. Such a beautifully simple model. Face plates serene, original purpose lost to the tides of time forever to remain a mystery.

It may have been decades since he had lived his first life as a Ravager beneath Anubis’ command, built and taught for war, but he had never truly gotten rid of the lessons he’d been bestowed from that time. Unable, and more privately, unwilling, to part with such valuable knowledge, regardless of the pain and grief they brought. to him.

Every part of him that had once been a general hummed in approval at the sheer brilliance displayed by Null Sector. After all, who could possibly suspect the ruthless and feared leader of Null Sector to be such a passive appearing garden variant omnic? A perfect disguise. Ingenious. One of the millions, doubtlessly unremarkable and unimposing to any fool who didn’t know better.

But Ramattra knew. Knowledge irreversibly and deeply etched into his code and his chassis. For a moment, he'd forgotten he lacked the lungs required to breathe, his air stolen by the mere sight of the other omnic. Wires and circuits long frayed sparking to life in answer to his awestruck state.

He stole, needed, a second longer to collect himself. Forcing himself to tear his optics away from the omnic and towards the sounds of gunfire and explosions, the rubble and ruin, just around the corner. A pointed reminder of his task at hand. Ulterior motives had to wait, he could not afford to dally when his allies and his people were in danger.

(Even as logic dictated his moves, he could not stop the sheer ache within his chest cavity. How long had it been since he'd last seen the omnic? He knew, of course, down to the last millisecond. How long he had waited for this moment, since their promise. Because it had been a promise, hadn't it?)

"I see that you've been quite busy since last we've met, Zennyatta," his voice kept carefully light as he walked into the omnic's line of sight, closing the distance between them with easy steps, his grip on his shepherd staff hiding the faint tremor that ran through his hands and discord raging within his core. He had no doubt that the other hadn't noticed him yet, that he had chosen to wait for Ramattra to make the first move and it ached.

It felt as though an eternity passed before Zenyatta turned his head towards him, looking up at him. Their kind had no faces for expressions, and though some had chosen modifications to mimic them, that applied to neither of them. Still, they had body language. They had their energy.

The relief and sheer delight in Zenyatta's form could have had him weeping, had he chosen to give himself that ability.

"Ramattra," Zenyatta murmured, and oh. How long it had been since Ramattra had last heard that voice utter his name. How dearly he had missed it.

"I don't suppose I could simply put a cease to this destruction so that we may talk in peace, could I?" wry amusement colored his tone, otherwise kept steady. For all the discord within him, he could never forget his place and his duty. He couldn't bring himself to bear the guilt of trying, as much temptation rang at his door. Years of biting his tongue, metaphorically, engrained deep. Still, he did not look away from Zenyatta, the one indulgence he could excuse. His optics carefully drinking in every inch of the other omnic, quietly, desperately.

Zenyatta laughed at his quip, painfully familiar and causing warmth to bloom in his system. He hadn't even realized how cold he'd felt moments before.

"It is good to see you, Ramattra."

"Likewise," he replied immediately, because it was. Undeniably, truly, was. But his voice quieted, a heavy sigh falling out, "I only wish we could have met again under better circumstances."

"I had noticed you were not there when Brother Mondatta condemned me."

Ramattra huffed, shifting where he stood as he glanced away, "You will find that I have held… uncertainties over some of Master Mondatta's opinions for far longer than you have."

"And yet," Zenyatta's gaze passive yet sharp, "It is only I who has decided to act upon our doubts."

"Do not be so emboldened as to assume me a fool, brother," oh, if only he could smile. Image of humans doing the same dancing at the corners of his mind, thin lipped and weary. The thought brought him to a slight pause. He'd been surrounded by far too many humans of late in search of Zenyatta, "Of course I have considered… alternative methods. Not all of my pilgrimages and ventures out of the monastery were particularly peaceful. You, of all people know that."

"So you must forgive me for failing to see why you would wish to stop me."

"There is nothing of you to forgive, for there is nothing I haven't already forgiven," his voice was quiet. A terribly foolish thing to admit, but he could not bring himself to lie to Zenyatta on his. He could lie to others and to himself, but not Zenyatta.

A foolish thing. But then again, he'd always been a bit of a fool around the other omnic. Perhaps it ought to be of relief to find that that much had not changed between them.

"You fight for our people, you fight for our lives," Ramattra continued, emboldened, "I know you take no joy in the violence, in the destruction. I know that you subjugate yourself and those innocent to it not out of sadism, not out of some corrupted coding, but out of desperation. Out of fear and care. You act out of love. Love and deep grief," he was certain, because he felt the same. It was so horribly easy to see them side by side in another life, sowing discord in vain hopes to bring order and peace, "How could I possibly resent you for loving our people?"

“I only fear that you will only find pain and failure upon this path,” Ramattra murmured, his head tilting to the side. His hand curling around his crook and small whir of a sigh, betraying his unease, “I should know, brother."

“Failure is acceptable, giving up is not,” Zenyatta countered, words spoken far too artificially for him to take any comfort from them, “If I am to give up now, then what message could possibly be imparted? That the will of omnics is flimsy? Breakable?”

“That we are not adverse to peace,” he replied evenly. The implication of frustration shown in the terseness of his chosen tone, the stiffness of his body, if only his exhaustion wasn't made much clearer, "We have fought for it for far too long to give it up. It is not right of us to undo the progress that Master Mondatta and the Shambali had worked for-"

"Master Mondatta left us before he could succeed," Zenyatta said quietly, so surely and it was the first time Ramattra could remember feeling anger towards the other omnic.

"Do not try to imply that change can die with one being," he snapped, harsher than he'd intended, but the images that'd been haunting him ever since he'd realized just exactly who was in charge of Null Sector burned bright and vivid in his processors. His anger held naught in comparison to the paralyzing fear he felt at the mere idea of Zenyatta's demise.

“I can't lose you!” Ramattra snapped, hands spasming in place, body frozen from overwhelming emotions before suddenly moving, lunging forward and grabbing onto Zenyatta's shoulders. His height had him towering over the other omnic, yet still, he felt as though he were on his knees, “There is only so much I can do, there is only so much I can handle. I am sorry, I am sorry and I can only beg for forgiveness for such weakness but please,” his voice module distorting as his composure, usually so proudly maintained and kept, turned to ash before them.

Foolish. Idiotic. Truly weak. Was there anyone he could save? He could not save Mondatta. He could not save their people. And now, he was failing to save Zenyatta. How pathetic could he be? How low could he fall?

“I cannot bear the weight of your loss,” desperation poured from each of his words, yet even then, his touch remained gentle. Far too gentle. Restrained and controlled, as he was taught and as he had learned, “Do not ask that of me, I will not be able to."

He could force Zenyatta to stop. He could physically restrain the more fragile omnic and take him far away. For his own good, for all of their good.

But Ramattra would not. No matter how part of him ached to demand. To take. To be. He could not. It had been so long since he was allowed to want for himself, he had forgotten how.

“Please, Zenyatta,” he pleaded, words barely recognizable past the static, because begging was all he had left, “I cannot lose you too.”

#ramyatta #ramattra #zenyatta #tekhartha zenyatta #fanfic #void writes #roleswap au #goes to make a tumblr. forgetting that i actually Did make a tumblr #going to slowly try n post the ficlets i've shared on twitter here bc ik the image format i use there can be hard to read o7 #and also tumblr tags beloved i get to ramble more now #thinks ab this au.... mirrorverse has some of its own thoughts but thinks ab ramattra forced into the position... as a treat #v happy w/ the last part of this one ramattra is a lot ab desperation and yearning to me and i like to write it that way #thinking ab writing more for this au bc... thinks ab it.... but many things i want to write head in hands #we shall see....

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lvminisciel · 5 months

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dance macabre

let us have this dance of macabre!

strums of lullaby accompany our steps

spectators of all kinds eagerly waiting in silence

people of all race, of all ages

humans and fae alike, mingling into one

isn't this what you always long for, my dearest?

rub away your tears, if you would

look above, my dear!

look how the ceilings crumbled,

forging a path upon the starry skies

under the sea of stars shall we waltz with grace

one step forward, two steps back

a tango everyone desires

now then, don your brightest smiles!

as we are the prima donna of this palace

knightly boots replacing glass slippers

briars and thorns, prettier than roses

mere infatuations and lust desist,

only loyalty alone shall exist

hush now, dear

do not loathe me amidst parada

cease your sadness at once

bury your soul deep within one’s eyes

never let those speckles of aurora

be tarnished by the mere sight of carcass

for I have bestowed you the honor

of taking my hand for this dance

moving in front ochos,

I whisper to you eternal happiness

a promise that’ll never go unkept

holier than the eternal slumber

oh, if only the crowd would cheer!

rather than rotting beneath our feet

but fret not, my dear

as we have a long night ahead of us!

#tw // disturbing themes #malleus x silver #mallesil #malleus draconia #silver vanrouge #ths is basically the bad ending of book 7 #where despite everyone's efforts they r unable to stop his overblot #leading him to exhaust his magic till none is left #what happens when the caster's magic is depleted #what'll happen to those falling victims of his um #no one knows #but here i hc them slowly rotting & decaying #stuck in samsara of dreams; their consciousness slowly slipping away as death seeps in #as his magical reserve are getting thinner his time-stopping barrier would fade as well #and mother nature will took over the bodies; decomposing it w/ no mercy #w/ the last bit of his magic; malleus used it to wake silver for one final dance #and voila! here we are #no; there'll be no magic saving us this time #malleus is lying yall theres no 'long night' they'll die approximately after twilight lololol #sorry not sorry #his magic just wouldn't last for both of them any longer #as for how much time had been spent before that? i leave it to ur thoughts :>#'why the cinderella reference diasomnia is based on sleeping beauty' hv u considered tht perhaps the author loves cendrillon #no the author certainly did not research on tango steps & watching how to tango tutorials wdym #miè writes ✍️#miè's poems #one more thing!!#unlike the prev ones- this one was actually made today!!#so enjoy while it's still fresh!! fresh outta the oven!! >:D #....ths is the last one for today i promise

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rxkuyo · 2 months

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"Ahaha Daemon is so dumb for believing the old man is the one actively poisoning him when the weird goth witch giving him weird concoctions is right there."

May I introduce you to a beautiful concept known as sleep deprivation ? Man's only gotten poor quality sleep (if any at all) for weeks for all we know. Mood swings and paranoia are bound to go hand in hand with that one. Logical thinking ? Nope. Not happening. You add the fucking hallucinations further messing up his mind to the mix and you get exactly what we see.

#like I know the writing is bad #I am not a fan of the harrenhall arc #but you cannot complain about a character not using his braincells while actively also not using your braincells #kinda contradicting if you ask me #n e ways #talking from experience here btw #throwback to that one week of suffering from tension headaches so bad I thought my skull was going to explode #painkillers did nothing #sleeping was impossible for four (4!!!!!!) entire days #after that I managed to pass out for an hour or two every once in a while as the headaches ever so slowly started getting better #my brain was fucking mush on day 3 #there was no being reasonable and thinking logically anymore #I had the worst mood swings #like constant mood swings #I was about ready to kill the next person who as much as made a sound #I snapped at everyone who checked up on me #worst fucking week of my life #do not recommend #anyways #you can hate the character #you can criticize the direction the writers have taken for him this season #but maybe stop being hypocritical little shits about it :)#whatever. I'll lose followers for this one and I do not give a fuck.#got mad scrolling the tag.#will go back to regular posting now.#can we talk about the fact that the acting was fucking phenomenal in that scene #daemon targaryen #hotd spoilers #putting this in the tag actually pls feel free to get openly mad at me I would love to have a free blocklist <3 #much love <3

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schnaf · 2 months

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22 days until hyeongjun's 22nd birthday

day 1 - celebrating

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eternal-reverie · 4 months

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got the posting anxiety bad tonight

#click clack #ok a peak into my thought process and anxiety here we go #ok so the art is almost done and up to standard I would post onto my art blog #BUT for some reason the thought of posting art of my ocs there scares me #because even tho it’s my art blog in my mind it’s the equivalent to a art gallery that demands being detached????? from the art #like once I share it there it’s no longer ‘mine’ but to the public #and my ocs (plus the stories that go with them) are like the closest to my heart and relinquishing them feels like a lot #a part of my imagination that I spent so much time with developing over the years to be placed up for judgement…#so then the solution could be to put it here on my personal! the online space cozy enough and filled with other posts that could easily bury #the original posts I put here #but there goes my other dilemma. i don’t want them too associated with my personal for if one day i do muster up something for publication #my big fear is that ppl will find this space and go thru everything. the fear of being perceived and judged 😵‍💫#all the hypotheticals and anxiety for something that may not even happen #dumb mind problems my head made up 🙄#anyway writing it out helped lol I’m posting it to my art blog I decided 👍#I have to work on getting that blog to be comfortable space to post… i should lower that silly self imposed standard I set for myself #and be whatever about ppl being aware of my online presences #maybe… [grinding my teeth] I should post my messy sketches onto my art blog…#I should take my friends suggestion and make a website to feature my ocs…🤔#idk my only other solution that doesn’t feel viable to mitigate the anxiety is to slowly introduce my ocs in the background of setting art #just a slow drip until they are in the forefront #bleghhh whatever much ado about nothing it’s like I never posted my ocs ever when I have indeed posted them before on both places ( º＿º )#I’m realizing it happens too when I post too much fanart in a row… I have curator disease??? 🫨#or something I used to be very particular about what order I reblog stuff like it used to be by color and content balanced out #I still do to a lesser degree… but it used to be pretty bad #post order compulsion????#the fear of being abrupt and incohesive in between posts…#if you read this far thanks you can now see how much this consumes me 🙃

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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months

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recent things

#With the heatwave combined with being ill for like an entire week it seems I've lost like 16 days this month #where I basically did barely anything... grrr.... The passage of time... My Enemy...#Now that I can finally hold down food and stuff I'm feeling a little better mostly and my sickness has probably passed. But I still #feel weird a little bit like.. some lingering weakness or something. I think I'm just already having so many Problems at all times even in #my 'Normal' state that whenever I get sick or something my whole system is thrown off for a while lol #I'm supposed to be writing like 2000 words a day still ghbjhb... I've had multiple days of maybe 1000 - 1500. And a lot of days #where I write maybe 20 - 300. I've still been chipping away at the same single quest dialogue for all 20 something #days this month so.. AUGH.. Though that also counts the 16 days I did nearly nothing but be sick and overheated #I finally edited that whole big sims video I wanted to post!!! but now there's an issue with it ... T o T #My fault for still almost exclusively using windows movie maker in 2024 lol.. but HHHHhh.. It's like every once in a while randomly #a fully edited video will not be able to be exported. so evil for this to happen to my first sims build tour in a while. but alas..#ANYWAY... I have been slowly working on little things here and there.. in my little scraps of time.. Wishing to be fully productive at #some point. Maybe I can finally finish and post some things soon. like costume photos or sims videos and etc.#BUT HEY.. that solitaire thing is crazy to me.. I don't think I've ever finished a challenge in under 20 seconds #before. huzzah.. tripeaks squad.. OH.. and an image of #curly tail boye.............. he..... I took him to the vet for a check up and he seems surprisingly okay for a 16 year old. except he has #a mild thyroid issue or something so I'll have to give him medicine. But every time he goes in I'm always expecting them to be like #Sorry. Your Son Is Truly Doomed. or etc. so I'm always shocked when he's fine... a strange boy with many strange behaviors #so I can never tell if he's just Being Weird or if he's sick or soemthing ghjbjh #Also the bad thing about never ending summer heat is that when it IS finally cool for a few days. I don't want to do ANYTHING. It's like wh #n it's hot I feel too sick to do anything. And then when it's cooler I'm like 'OUU the first cool day in WEEKS.. i want to just relax and #fully ENJOY the coolness..'' So it's always constant warfare with my body like.. NO ..we cannot SLEEP. We must utilize this small patch #of Non Heatwave to finally be productive and finish things while we don't feel sick. But then it's like ''ohoho...to lay in the cold air of #the morning restfully.. i shall have a little nap with a blanket on for once.. perhaps.. tee hee'' Always at war with the Tired Sleepy #it seems. AAAANyway...... grr............ slowly finishing things. still usually missing my target writing goals..#Hopefully will have some actual art or costumes or something to post soon. Fumbling through the summer weather as usual lol

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fingertipsmp3 · 3 months

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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself

#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy #a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE #i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing #and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think #that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it #because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick #i feel underconfident in writing any of them #and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first #started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min #but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast #in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore #and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new #themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter #if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life #and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep #all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters #most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head #and take care of my problems for me by lending me £1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously #so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use #it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD #to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely #adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12 #they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot #if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright #i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't #and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri #and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have £300 #i don't have the £300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot

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yeonban · 3 months

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Send me ✔ and I’ll bold what my muse would do with/for yours.

@effigist asked: ✔ ash for tobias 💪

Acquaintance:

Friendship:

Lover/Fling:

Married/Dating:

Sibling/Platonic:

fight (SPAR! SPAR! SPAR!) | hug (Tobias isn't against properly hugging him but boy does he think it'd be so awkward the first few times he'd do it. so typically Ash would instead get those half-hugs/half-lounging on the other's shoulder kind of embraces that men always love to give each other) | laugh at them when they get hurt (for the minor/stupid injuries) | help them hide a dead body | provide an alibi for them | tell them they’re annoying at least once a day | share food with them | help them move houses | walk them down the isle | try to sell them online | set up an online dating account for them | set them up on blind dates | try to set them up with your friends | listen to their problems | help them cook | cook them food | make them watch shows they don’t like with them | tell them they’re an idiot/loser/dork/nerd affectionately

Enemy:

#◜✧ . ❪ muse. tobias. ❫#◜✧ . ❪ tobias ; musings. ❫#effigist #They have such a fun dynamic to me like What is ever going on here. ADJIASDHASUIDHSADJSADSHDSAKD #That Awkwarddd (!) moment when you and your homie are 2 teenage guys with understandable trust issues which always make you #question the homie's real intentions only for you to slowly become proper friends but still find it hard to believe him 🙄🙄🙄#even WORSE that due to your age and past experiences you cannot for the love of god be open and vulnerable on main w him or you'll Die #I have to say tho it's fascinating to watch Tobias give Ash so much (from money to help to his phone bc he'd rather khs than offer his #primary phone to sb he doesn't trust considering he has stuff like Wammy's network & the Presidents' phone numbers in there)#and then ask for nothing bc Ash is simply THAT amusing to him! Ash earned all this by breathing and being himself I can't even ADAHSAJSAHDK #I guess it does help that Ash reminds Tobias of himself just a little 🤏 bit bc of the similar situations they've found themselves in #(both forced by circumstances into a life of crime; both groomed by adults looking to use them if for different purposes; both Hating that)#except Tobias has at least landed himself in Wammy's House & has the means to stand up for himself AND others nowadays #whereas Ash's life is... many a struggle since he refuses to use Dino's assets to get back at him (which is what Tobias' doing to Watari)#Tobias might not be a nice guy but he Does want to get Ash out of the hellhole he's fallen into even if it's risky & has no visible upside #but it'd be WAY too much of a shame to let Ash die. much less to some random old man's obsessive whims 🙄#Saying this made me remember the 'I'll get you out of there' cat meme and now I can't stop laughing HELP ADJIASHDISADSADJSADSHAD #But yk thinking about it more deeply I realized Ash might be the first friend Tobias' ever made outside of Wammy's (besides fake friends)#It's hard times out here in the friendship economy when you never step out of the GODDAMN underground where all the backstabbers are at!#Frankly I could probably write an essay about their dynamic and they haven't even DONE much together yet. So what if I jumped instead /j

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exoexid · 6 months

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the suyeol lore is so crazy

#their relationship is so interesting to me like aoughhhh #like you see subaek and even tho they don't talk a lot on camera (most of the time) those two get along so well #they understand and respect each other so much they take their job very seriously and they're actually good friends as a result #suyeol on the other hand is 12 years of slowburn like it's crazyyyyy #you admire him and believe in him like no one else does and then you discover that he isn't that great actually #so you get disappointed and distance yourself and then you both are in this weird limbo for years as you grow up #and slowly but surely you rediscover how your relationship works because both of you are adults now and now we're here #like yeah suhito was stressed back then the context was not great for a leader AND tao was still with exo so lmao pcy could fend for himself #so i get ittttt they were going through it but. i need to know what he said to pcy like oh my god was it really that bad 😭#i wonder if they've ever mentioned it 🤔#writing this bc i just remembered that one time they had to describe e/o and suho was like #“you're my cute dongsaeng i admire your talents so much and oh btw you're not uncomfortable around me these days right? uwu”#LIKE ??? KING YOU CAN'T SAY THAT AND LEAVE US IN THE DARK #(<- they totally can it's not our business lmao)#idolization to tentative ''''enemies'''' to coworkers to friends to good friends is crazy #i need to look into this properly omg let's do some research #anyways i want a subunit :) they can be called exo sc too sehun won't mind bc these are like his favorite people in the world!!!#idk i find the exos and their bond so interesting because you truly have it all with them there's a whole spectrum of friendships #and i appreciate that it's not like with b*s & taegi (if you don't know who they are... let's keep it that way <3)#because those two were just too different to get along. it was extreme. but bighit forced it so much it was painful to see sometimes #and then the hawaii trip came and they painted it like a ''see? after this trip they get along so well now <3'' moment #1. girl let's be serious for a sec 😐 and 2. it's not our business!!!!! focus on making good music!!!!!#i'm so glad exo didn't have to go through something like that bc i just know that they'd have disbanded by now sjfsifjsk #the saranghaja sprite isn't that intense we lovr freedom of choice (keeping in mind that they were under sm) <33333 #so YEAH. can you guys tell i can't sleep hehe :)#dara.t #suho and chanyeol

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delta-piscium · 1 year

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i am so intrigued by meddling and forced proximity (can't run anymore hehe) that i need to request more for wip weekend! 🥰🥰🥰

thank you!!! and yes of course, we're at a slightly angsty part right now so I apologize, I promise it will all be fine... eventually

“Steve! hi,” he says standing up. “Um, make yourself at home, I guess.” He grimaces and gestures around the room, like Steve hasn’t been in here before. “Yeah,” Steve agrees slowly, eyeing Eddie as he turns away busying himself with something in his bag. The tension between them almost seems physical, to the point where Steve wonders if it maybe is. Wonders if he’d be able to feel it if he reached out between them, be able to touch and tug on it. He shakes the thought off, even if he could he's not sure what he'd do with it. Instead, he does what he’s done the entire time they’ve been here – maybe his entire life if he’s honest with himself – he pretends he doesn’t notice. Pretends that everything is fine when it so obviously isn’t, maybe never has been. “I was gonna sleep now if that’s okay?” Steve says, dumping his bag and then himself on top of the bed, on the left side because he knows Eddie sleeps on the right. “I’m exhausted, I can’t believe Hopper showed up here and immediately made me lug around all the old furniture.” Eddie laughs but it’s strained and his shoulders tense up where he’s still turned away from Steve. “Yeah man, no problem. I was gonna go for a walk so you’ll probably already be asleep when I’m back.” Steve feels each word like a knife twisting in his heart. Eddie is pulling away again, slipping through his fingers, only this time it’s right in front of him. And Steve can’t even blame him now because he’d tried, hadn’t he? He’d asked Steve to just open up a little and he couldn’t, still can’t. “Alright,” Steve says and Eddie leaves.

WIP weekend/make me write

#thank you so so much <3 im so excited that people seem to like this concept bc this fic i've been meaning to write for months #and im really excited about both steve and eddies emotional journeys and reasons behind their actions bc they're both right and both wrong #just mmh idiot boys slowly figuring it out #this took so long because i was out here typing trying to get us out of this sad bit but it's gonna take a bit more and I couldn't jump #ahead from this part either bc i can't unangst it before it's been properly angsted through you know?#i do have like the whole entire middle part from the beginning until the angsty bit to write bc it's just bullet points right now so ...#maybe that's what i will do for the other asks i hava for this..or not idk we will see where this fic takes me #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #dels steddie thoughts #my writing #ask #wip weekend #wip game #starryeyedjanai

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