#giofvcks

[giofvcks]

Emotions make you cry 😭 sometimes. It’s official! You see that M?! Yeah you see that M for Male. Thanks to @jocelynbenson a prime example of elections matter. This year has truly been remarkable for me. I dig deep and went MIA all year to heal, to live my truths, to be my true authentic self and as the year comes to an end I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. I look 👀 forward to 2020 and omg 😱 I haven’t looked forward to the new year in years since my grandfather passed away. Onward and upward G-Boo as my papa would say. #transmasculine #transgender #transftm #transman #ftm #translivesmatter #transmanofcolor #michigan #electionsmatter #intersex #male #driverlicense #gendermarkerchange #gendermarker #giofvcks https://www.instagram.com/p/B6CZlE6D6JY/?igshid=42o3sxs6o6oi

[giofvcks]

Voting 🗳 is a right and a privilege. I don’t have to vote. I chose to exercise my right and privilege to vote 🗳 Many have fought battles, died and laid blood so I could have this right and privilege. So, I honor those before me, those with me and those after me by voting in every election 🗳. #FlintLivesMatter #FlintMichigan #FlintMadeMe #JustAKidFromFlint #BlackExcellence #VotesMatter #KingsBeLike #BlackAndTrans #TransManOfColor #LGBT #TransFTM #ElectionsMatter #Vote #iVote #Giofvcks https://www.instagram.com/p/B00x8UYDxdK/?igshid=l9gn2fyszwr1

[giofvcks]

So, I did a thing today. I submitted my petition for my name change. I got my fingerprints and background check completed too. I officially started vitamin T (Testosterone) today. Oh....I also found out today I am INTERSEX...a lot to swallow , especially after being told I was mentally ill, crazy, demonic, etc yet this whole time I was biologically INTERSEX! When they say roll w/ the punches I’ve been getting my ass beat for a long time....💉💉💉 #hrt #ftm #transgender #intersex #transftm #vitaminT #hormonereplacementtherapy #lgbtqia #lgbt #giofvcks #prettyboy #transandproud #humpday #wednesday #gay #gaypride #transpride #transmanofcolor #transmasculine https://www.instagram.com/p/BzwC56SD4dW/?igshid=11217va3ik9po

[giofvcks]

We are all human 🏳️‍🌈🌈❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤✊🏽 Happy PRIDE MONTH! It’s a special Pride Month for me as this is the first one I’ve been out the closet & free :) #translivesmatter #transandproud #transgender #transmanofcolor #endtransphobia #pride #pridemonth #transftm #ftm #transmasculine #lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #summer #june #giofvcks #freshoutthecloset #human https://www.instagram.com/p/ByLKT-cDP31/?igshid=43wmfz3bm23y

[giofvcks]

New video alert 🚨 Starting HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) & much more. My binder from @gc2b came in the mail today! I’ll be doing an unboxing and trying it out on camera. It’ll be uploaded this Sunday! Click the link in my bio to watch this video. #translivesmatter #transandproud #transgender #transmanofcolor #endtransphobia #pridemonth #happypridemonth #hrt #hormonereplacementtherapy #giofvcks #youtube #gc2b #binder #transftm #ftm #newvideo #subscribe #comment #rgb #panafrikan #queerasfuck #gay #queer https://www.instagram.com/p/ByRQ_wrj4nW/?igshid=g04dtmhlz31b

[giofvcks]

New video alert 🚨 I discussing going to gender therapy and my experience. I’ll be posting another video this Sunday going into more detail plus some good news! Click the link in my bio to watch. #youtuber #ftm #transman #transmasculine #transmasc #gendertherapy #transgender #subscribe #contentcreator #video #giofvcks #translivesmatter #lgbtqia #lgbt https://www.instagram.com/p/BxvJfsGDQX7/?igshid=1err54l77rdge

[giofvcks]

Love ❤️ is odd. Pain is Real.

We often love folx that don’t deserve our love. We care about folx that don’t deserve our care. It’s not reciprocated. When it’s not reciprocated, and you feel the sting of rejection and your heart is slashed into pieces you realize the pain is real. The love was fake. Hurt folx hurt folx. Broken folx can’t be together, well maybe a small percentage can. I just don’t think broken folx should be together. They’ll hurt each other and themselves. At least there’s a high chance of someone if not both folx involved being hurt.

Months later (and I mean months, going on 6 months) the pain is still very REAL! That shit doesn’t seem to disappear. I mean yeah a nigga is feeling better, physically my health is improving and my mental is catching up. But...I’m still heart broken over the first person I actually cared about and loved (or was attached to) cuz I’ve never felt like this over anyone. Not even with this other person....in my previous situations (cuz none of them were real relationships, hell neither was this one) but yeah in my previous situations I wasn’t really there. Like I don’t really like most of the folx I’ve talked too. I just saw them as physically attractive and used them as a means to appear cisgender and heterosexual (you know aka normal ???).

I guess it’s karma. Cuz I’ve played a lot of guys in my lifetime and I am wrong, and was wrong for that. Being real I’ve could’ve been married years ago cuz I’ve had guys that were seriously committed and the real loving types that I devalued, created scenarios in my head to not like them anymore, and dipsetted on them. I am sorry and I realize now how wrong I was for doing that and how I hurt them :/ it wasn’t always that I didn’t care....I was afraid of rejection and abandonment, I didn’t feel worthy on type of being in the closet (I played the Cisgender/heterosexual) role for years :/ smh 🤦🏽‍♂️ not anymore.

Not giving excuses for my fuckshit and toxic behavior. Just giving a reasoning behind my actions and fucked thought process. It’s crazy you don’t see how fucked your ways are until you get a taste of your own medicine. I met my match , and he showed me a lot , he reminded me of myself in many ways. Hella closeted issues and trauma, when he talked I actually listened. I wanted to his forever shoulder, and being real I never cared deeply about a guy ever in my life like I do with him.

All of the mind games was draining and mentally abusive. I get it though, cuz I did the same shit to him and to other guys/folx. I played mind games with myself , shit I still have issues. Now, I’m in therapy, eating healthier, getting sleep, waking up early, staying committed to myself, working on medically/physically transitioning. I’m finally out the closet Frfr and attempting every day to live my authentic self.

I’ve come to realize I have severe gender dysphoria for years, probably most of my life. Hence why I’m always self conscious about my body, and how I’m perceived by others due to my perceived gender on top of having severe anxiety and depression. Ya di ya di yah yah....anyways here’s another long ass dairy post from my trans and heartbroken ass.

[giofvcks]

Today, I’m finally going to see a gender therapist! I’m so happy and nervous at the same time. Click the link in my bio to watch my latest video. #transgender #transmasculine #transftm #ftm #femaletomale #giofvcks #youtuber #contentcreator #subscribe #comment #transmanofcolor #qpoc #gendertherapy #gender https://www.instagram.com/p/BxF1VzUlbVr/?igshid=xgci7vjnsi0k

[giofvcks]

We’ve always been visible. We’ve always be here. We will continue to be here. We will thrive and live our true lives. Sending love, prayers, positive thoughts, and gratitude to every one in the LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 + community. Especially to Trans women of color and to femmes of color. 🙏🏽❤️✊🏽 click the link in my bio to watch #YouTube #transgenderdayofvisibility #translivesmatter #transwomenmatter #transmenmatter #blacklivesmatter #transman #transftm #subscribe #video #giofvcks #lgbtq #genderfluid #genderqueer #gendernonconforming https://www.instagram.com/p/BvrqvNxDZLR/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=13xwa3cx4u5ih

[giofvcks]

#TransgenderDayOfVisibility with a cup of French Vanilla Black Tea ☕️ w/ my meds mixed in. It took me years to get to this point of being out and proud of myself. I still have a long way to go, and I’m still working on myself with love and patience. But, I’m TRANS MASCULINE AND PROUD TO BE ME. #transftm #trans #transmasculine #transmanofcolor #tpoc #qpoc #transman #transguy #hehimhis #theythem #genderpronouns #giofvcks #lgbtq #lgbt #transgender #happy #selflove #selfcare #tea https://www.instagram.com/p/BvrRkqkDvjd/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11fb80iuhrm1g

[giofvcks]

Breathe

Well it’s Valentine’s Day! I thought I would be an emotional wreck and depressed...but oddly enough I feel blah , a lil sadness, a lil nothingness, with a dash of hope.

I didn’t send a card, I didn’t send a gift, I didn’t send candy, and I didn’t call, email or text. I’m moving on you can say....Lmao I have to laugh about it when I think about how stupid and desperate I looked and how I behaved. Lesson one: never chase a nigga! Ooops lemme make it inclusive never chase a person!

But, seriously don’t do it! It isn’t worth it if somebody ends a relationship (friendship, love interest, etc.) let it be over! Don’t beg and plead let them end it and let them go. Own up to you probably are or were toxic, but don’t take all of the blame. Because it takes two to tango, meaning the other person or people involved also played roles in the situation.

Also don’t reach out to them. Go no contact as they have with you. More than likely they implemented the “silent treatment” first anyways. So, there’s no reason to call, txt, or email them. Let that shit go!

I know it’s hard, difficult and sad but this is life when you’re living in a toxic world. We are all toxic by default because of this toxic narcissistic society. We are products of our environment. This isn’t to say we can’t unlearn toxic and problematic ish.

Take the time to be accountable, to be responsible for your emotions and thoughts. But take the time to heal yourself, love yourself, and care for yourself.

[giofvcks]

I created a YouTube channel to document my transition as a trans man. Follow my journey on here or my YouTube channel.

[giofvcks]

Social Transitioning FTM new video is on my #YouTube channel, click the link in my bio to watch. #trans #transgender #transman #transmasculine #genderqueer #genderfluid #femaletomale #ftm #transftm #giofvcks #youtuber #documentary #myjourney #video #subscribe #follow #like #comment #notification #new #lgbtq #lgbt #gayandtrans #gaytransguy #transman https://www.instagram.com/p/BsjUSbOlOBd/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=16rxlto9d8yl5

[giofvcks]

Let’s talk about health and well being when it comes to sexual health. As a transgender man/ trans masculine person who sleeps with cis men occasionally lmao 🤣 it’s important I take care of my reproductive health and protect myself from unwanted pregnancies. #IUD #TransMascHealth #TransMan #TransFTM #humansexuality #lgbtq #giofvcks #youtube #subscribe #education #transinclusive #universalhealthcare #lilettaiud #birthcontrol #contentcreator https://www.instagram.com/p/CDW5_6CDc1v/?igshid=jmh8qlnu7r0w

[giofvcks]

New video 📹🎥🎞📽 Link in my bio check it out 👀 #TransLivesMatter #BlackLivesMatter #BlackTransLivesMatter #blacktranswomenslivesmatter #protectblacktranswomen #happypridemonth #gayrightsarehumanrights #blackrightsarecivilrights #stopkillingus #topsurgery #ftm #giofvcks #youtuber https://www.instagram.com/p/CBbH8MYDwix/?igshid=5kdhl38mvsuf

[giofvcks]

In my new skin I find myself more attractive and comfortable. Yes, I still have plenty of moments/days where I don’t want to look in the mirror and find myself repulsive. But, with therapy, and the homework (yes my therapist has some doing daily and weekly assignments) I’ve been making small changes and improvements. Here’s another “fuck boy” pose lmao 🤣 dudes really be starring off into the camera lens with their lips parted like we sexy or some shit....lmao aye maybe we are sexy. Maybe it’s because these are the only poses I know. Either way I’m unapologetically Gio =D #prettyboyswag #ftm #transmanofcolor #transman #transmanthirst #marijuanasaveslives #decriminalizemarijuana #feltcutemightdeletelater #gendereuphoria #transftm #translivesmatter #intersex #giofvcks #handsome #blacklivesmatter #blacktranslivesmatter #gaypride #transpride #bestbudsforlife https://www.instagram.com/p/CAQk-6sjwIV/?igshid=b4gl3a0l9mdv