#girl-hobbit lore

[valtsv]

probably the funniest thing i ever did as a kid was try to convince anyone who'd listen to me infodump about my favorite media that my ocs were actual canon characters in the story and then if they expressed genuine interest in checking it out i'd panic and be like no you Can't and just never speak to them again

[royaltea000]

Your honor he is simply on his hot girl shit 💆👑💅✨

[unlikely-adversaries-bracket]

R1M34

"IT'S THE AUTISTIC OTTER BOY AGAINST A LETTER..."

*the complete and utter mystery girls from the thumbnail of nightcore - everytime we touch on youtube whose identity will never be known eternal mystery to the grave the tragedy of unknowing the yuri of questioning who could ever answer us when we dont even know ourselves? we pretend to see that which is before us and yet we ignore the words. it is as old as time and will continue as long as the stars. there is nothing you can do to prepare original art by mtu17830715 video by arkadion of toast

@favcharacterpoll - link to poll

@character-of-all-time - link to poll

[astronicht]

Okay I'm almost done with Fellowship, here's an incomplete list of shit I noticed and thought was buck fucking wild on my first ever read-thru: medieval edition.

In literally the second line of the book, Tolkien implies that Bilbo Baggins wrote a story which was preserved alongside the in-universe version of the Mabinogion (aka the best-known collection of Welsh myths; I promise this is batshit). This is because The Hobbit has been preserved, in Tolkien's AU version of our world, in a "selection of the Red Book of Westmarch" (Prologue, Concerning Hobbits). If you're a medievalist and you see something called "The Red Book of" or "The Black Book of" etc it's a Thing. In this case, a cheeky reference to the Red Book of Hergest (Llyfr Coch Hergest). There are a few Red Books, but only Hergest has stories).

not a medieval thing but i did not expect one common theory among hobbits for the death of Frodo's parents to be A RUMORED MURDER-SUICIDE.

At the beginning of the book a few hobbits report seeing a moving elm tree up on the moors, heading west (thru or past the Shire). I mentioned this in another post, but another rule: if you see an elm tree, that's a Girl Tree. In Norse creation myth, the first people were carved from driftwood by the gods. Their names were Askr (Ash, as in the tree), the first man, and Embla (debated, but likely elm tree), the first woman. A lot of ppl have I think guessed that that was an ent-wife, but like. Literally that was a GIRL. TREE.

Medieval thing: I used to read the runes on the covers of The Hobbit and LOTR for fun when I worked in a bookshop. There's a mix of Old Norse (viking) and Old English runes in use, but all the ones I've noticed so far are real and readable if you know runes.

Tom Bombadil makes perfect sense if you once spent months of your life researching the early medieval art of galdor, which was the use of poems or songs to do a form of word-magic, often incorporating gibberish. If you think maybe Tolkien did not base the entirety of Fellowship so far around learning and using galdor and thus the power of words and stories, that is fine I cannot force you. He did personally translate "galdor" in Beowulf as "spell" (spell, amusingly, used to mean "story"). And also he named an elf Galdor. Like he very much did name an elf Galdor.

Tom Bombadil in fact does galdor from the moment we meet him. He arrives and fights the evil galdor (song) of the willow tree ("old gray willow-man, he's a mighty singer"), which is singing the hobbits to sleep and possibly eating them, with a galdor (song) of his own. Then he wanders off still singing, incorporating gibberish. I think it was at this point that I started clawing my face.

THEN Tom Bombadil makes perfect sense if you've read the description of the scop's songs in Beowulf (Beowulf again, but hey, Tolkien did famously a. translate it b. write a fanfiction about it called Sellic Spell where he gave Beowulf an arguably homoerotic Best Friend). The scop (pronounched shop) is a poet who sings about deeds on earth, but also by profession must know how to sing the song or tell the story of how the cosmos itself came to be. The wise-singer who knows the deep lore of the early universe is a standard trope in Old English literature, not just Beowulf! Anyway Tom Bombadil takes everyone home and tells them THE ENTIRE STORY OF ALL THE AGES OF THE EARTH BACKWARDS UNTIL JUST BEFORE THE MOMENT OF CREATION, THE BIG BANG ITSELF and then Frodo Baggins falls asleep.

Tom Bombadil knows about plate tectonics

This is sort of a lie, Tom Bombadil describes the oceans of old being in a different place, which works as a standard visual of Old English creation, which being Christian followed vaguely Genesis lines, and vaguely Christian Genesis involves a lot of water. TOLKIEN knew about plate tectonics though.

Actually I just checked whether Tolkien knew about plate tectonics because I know the advent of plate tectonics theory took forever bc people HATED it and Alfred Wegener suffered for like 50 years. So! actually while Tolkien was writing LOTR, the scientific community was literally still not sure plate tectonics existed. Tom Bombadil knew tho.

Remember that next time you (a geologist) are forced to look at the Middle Earth map.

I'm not even done with Tom Bombadil but I'm stopping here tonight. Plate tectonics got me. There's a great early (but almost high!) medieval treatise on cosmology and also volcanoes and i wonder if tolkien read it. oh my god. i'm going to bed.

edit: part II

[blondephil]

hello (one of the) resident phannie data analyst(s) here with some parasocial stats on dnp’s movie tastes! following: distribution of dan and phil's ratings overall, movies they each rated 5 stars, their lowest-rated movies, and the similarities + differences in their tastes

(lore moment: yes i am a data analyst in my real job. yes i surprised myself with wanting to do this in my spare time. but then i remembered when we read dracula in college (yes i was an english major) and i graphed like, how many times dracula was referred to as vampire versus monster or something. so i shouldn’t be surprised.

first up, their overall rating patterns and by ~special status~ (i.e., wall-e, kill bill, avatar, lmao, plus big hero 6 for the fun of it)

dan’s rated 304 movies and phil’s rated 305. both of them have mean and median ratings of 4 with min 1 and max 5.

both rated kill bill vols. 1 and 2 a 5. wall-e got a 4.5 from dan and a 4 from phil (phake phans). both gave avatar a 3.5. and big hero 6 3.5 (dan) and 4.5 (phil)

rating distribution:

i did analyses here by genre but i need to fix the output (i’m writing all of these based on the markdown document from my phone on the subway, but i need to fix the outputs and i don’t have my computer. so those are pending but there are other genre analyses that i could do & haven’t yet!)

while i was sorting through the data i got the impression that dan overall rated movies higher than phil. so, among movies that they've both rated, here's some information

number of movies dan rated higher than phil: 65

Empire Strikes Back, Blade Runner, Return of the Jedi, My Neighbor Totoro, Back to the Future II, Nightmare Before Christmas, Toy Story, Phantom Mence, Donnie Darko, Attack of the Clones, Finding Nemo, Oldboy, The Notebook, Batman Begins, Brokeback Mountain, WALL-E, (500) Days of Summer, Up, The Hangover, Drive, The Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, Life of Pi, Skyfall, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Whiplash, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Room, The Hateful Eight, The Force Awakens, Manchester by the Sea, Deadpool, La La Land, Moonlight, Rogue One, Call Me By Your Name, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2., Wonder Woman, Spider-Man: Homecoming, I, Tonya, Thor: Ragnorak, Phantom Thread, Roma, The Favourite, The Lighthouse, Toy Story 4, Midsommar, Ad Astra, Knives Out, Soul, The Green Knight, No Time to Die, Don't Look Up, Spider-Man: No Way Home, Turning Red, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Thor: Love and Thunder, The Banshees of Inisherin, The Fabelmans, Glass Onion, Beau is Afraid, Barbie, Oppenheimer, Poor Things

number of movies phil rated higher than dan: 55

Star Wars (New Hope), Blair Witch Project, Requiem for a Dream, Memento, Ocean's Eleven, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Moonrise Kingdom, Iron Man 3, Gravity, Prisoners, The Wolf of Wall Street, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Imitation Game, Nightcrawler, John Wick, Gone Girl, Big Hero 6, Jurassic World, The Martian, The Revenant, Nocturnal Animals, Split, Get Out, Baby Driver, The Disaster Artist, Dunkirk, The Shape of Water, The Greatest Showman, The Last Jedi, Ready Player One, Crazy Rich Asians, A Star is Born, Rocketman, Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood, Joker, The Rise of Skywalker, The Invisible Man, A Quiet Place Part II, Greenland, Tenet, Malignant, Eternals, The Matrix Resurrections, Scream (2022), Nope, Prey, Talk to Me, Avatar: The Way of the Water, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One

number of movies they rated the same: 99!

Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Se7en, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Spider-Man, Lost in Translation, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Mean Girls, Howl's Moving Castle, Children of Men, The Dark Knight, Pontypool, Inglourious Basterds, Avatar, Toy Story 3, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Black Swan, The Social Network, 21 Jump Street, The Hunger Games, Silver Linings Playbook, The Conjuring, Snowpiercer, Her, Thor: The Dark World, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Boyhood, It Follows, Guardians of the Galaxy, Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance), Interstellar, Ex Machina, The Witch, Avengers: The Age of Ultron, Mad Max: Fury Road, Inside Out, Ant-Man, Captain America: Civil War, Your Name., Arrival, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, mother!, It, Blade Runner 2049, Hereditary, Black Panther, Annihilation, A Quiet Place, Avengers: Infinity War, Captain Marvel, Us, Avengers: Endgame, Parasite, It Chapter Two, Marriage Story, Uncut Gems, 1917, Black Widow, The Suicide Squad, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, Dune, Last Night in Soho, The Batman (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once, X, The Northman, Top Gun: Maverick, Bullet Train, Barbarian, Pearl, M3GAN, Dungeons and Dragongs: Honor Among Thieves, Evil Dead Rise, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3., No Hard Feelings, Saltburn, Priscilla, Society of the Snow, Saw X, Leave the World Behind

i didn't analyse this by genre or anything, but i could -- so if you're interested lmk!

the 5 movies with the most different ratings between dan and phil

- Iron Man 2 (dan: 2, phil 3.5)

- The Greatest Showman (d: 2.5, p: 4)

- Malignant (d: 3, p: 4.5)

- Scream (2022) (d: 2.5, p: 4)

- Beau is Afraid (d: 3, p: 1.5)

Interesting that even though dan has more higher rated movies, 4/5 of these ones phil rated higher.

next, their 5-star movies

dan's five stars: 80

Alien, Empire Strikes Back, ET, Blade Runner, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Stand by Me, The Grave of the Fireflies, My Neighbor Totoro, Back to the Future II, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Jurassic Park, Nightmare Before Christmas, Schindler's List, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Toy Story, Fargo, Scream, The Fifth Element, Hercules, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Fight Club, Magnolia, The Emperor's New Groove, Donnie Darko, Moulin Rouge, Shrek, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Finding Nemo, Kill Bill, Oldboy, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Shaun of the Dead, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, Revenge of the Sith, Brokeback Mountain, No Country for Old Men, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Tree of Life, 21 Jump Street, The Avengers, Life of Pi, Skyfall, Under the Skin, Whiplash, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, Sicario, The Hateful Eight, La La Land, Arrival, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, First Man, The Favourite, The Lighthouse, Parasite, Midsommar, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick, Oppenheimer, Poor Things

phil's five stars:

Star Wars (New Hope), Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Requiem for a Dream, Memento, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, 21 Jump Street, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Revenant, Arrival, Dunkirk, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, Parasite, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, The Shawshank Redemption, Gladiator, Little Miss Sunshine

overlap: 39

Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, 21 Jump Street, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, Arrival, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, Parasite, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick

& their lowest rated movies...

dan: matrix resurrections (1) , thor: the dark world (1.5), the rise of skywalker (1.5)

phil: crimes of the future (1), attack of the clones (1.5), thor: the dark world (1.5), don’t look up (1.5), the matrix resurrections (1.5), doctor strange in the multiverse of madness (1.5), beau is afraid (1.5), black bear (1.5)

not even chris hemsworth could save thor the dark world, i guess (kat dennings, though…)

movies they logged on the same date:

note that this is like, non-exhaustive, because this is only based on their diaries that list the date. i think in reality they've watched most of these movies together. frequently dan logged a couple days after phil which aren’t shown here. procrastination queen

Pontypool, Eternals, The Northman, Nope, Barbarian, The Banshees of Inisherin, Glass Onion, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Beau is Afraid, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3., Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, Saltburn, Poor Things, Priscilla, Saw X, Leave the World Behind

movies that one logged and not the other:

dan but not phil: 85

The Exorcist, Stand by Me, The Grave of the Fireflies, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Home Alone 2, Schindler's List, Fargo, Romeo & Juliet, Hercules, Men in Black, Neon Genesis Evangelion, The Mummy, The 13th Warrior, Fight Club, The Emperor's New Groove, Moulin Rouge, Shrek, Legally Blonde, Monsters, Inc, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Scooby-Doo, 28 Days Later, Matrix Reloaded, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, School of Rock, Matrix Revolutions, Saw, Shaun of the Dead, Shrek 2, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Revenge of the Sith, The Devil Wears Prada, Borat, Casino Royale, No Country for Old Men, Death Proof, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, There Will Be Blood, Tropic Thunder, Slumdog Millionaire, Moon, District 9, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The King's Speech, We Need to Talk About Kevin, The Tree of Life, X-Men: First Class, Prometheus, Argo, Les Miserables, Django Unchained, World War Z, Pacific Rim, Under the Skin, 12 Years a Slave, American Hustle, The Babadook, The Lego Movie, x-Men: Days of Future Past, 22 Jump Street, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, The Theory of Everything, Green Room, Sicario, Spotlight, The Big Short, 10 Cloverfield Lane, The Conjuring 2, Train to Busan, Hacksaw Ridge, Doctor Strange, Hidden Figures, Logan, You Were Never Really Here, Game Night, Isle of Dogs, First Man, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, Suspiria, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Glass, Hustlers, Pig, Violent Night

phil but not dan: 86

Jaws, The Terminator, Beetlejuice, Die Hard, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Groundhog Day, The Shawshank Redemption, Leon: The Professional, The Usual Suspects, The Frighteners, The Sixth Sense, Being John Malkovich, American Beauty, The Green Mile, Gladiator, Catch Me if You Can, Elf, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Little Miss Sunshine, Pan's Labyrinth, The Prestige, Zodiac, Spider-Man 3, Iron Man, Juno, Lake Mungo, Twilight, Zombieland, Kick-Ass, Brave, Evil Dead, The Great Gatsby, Now You See Me, Monsters University, Man of Steel, About Time, Dallas Buyers Club, Edge of Tomorrow, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The Boy, Raw, Finding Dory, Suicide Squad, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, John Wick: Chapter 2, Lady Bird, The Ritual, Happy Death Day, Deadpool 2, Ocean's 8, Ant-Man and The Wasp, Bird Box, Booksmart, Crawl, Spider-Man: Far From Home, The Platform, Black Bear, Palm Springs, The Empty Man, The Innocents, Titane, Old, Free Guy, The Black Phone, Fresh, Watcher, Bodies Bodies Bodies, Ambulance, Aftersun, Crimes of the Future, Fall, Bones and All, The Menu, Sanctuary, Do Revenge, Smile, Hellraiser (2022), Mr. Harrigan's Phone, Plane, Missing, Infinity Pool, Past Lives, Knock at the Cabin, Scream VI

i’m interested to see how this varies by genre!

miscellaneous non-statistical things that made me parasocially emotional and/or laugh during this process:

they watched nope together on christmas eve 2022 <3

dan rated moulin rouge a 5 <3 nature boy <3

he also rated shrek a 5. of course. (valid).

4.5 from dan and 4 from phil from the notebook

5 from danny for brokeback mountain <3 and a 4.5 from philly

cmbyn, yes, has its issues, but dan rated 4.5 and phil 4

the shape of water got a 4.5 from monsterfucker phil lester (dan gave it a 4)

surprisingly phil rated rocketman higher than dan! surprising because dan liked so many musicals

dan gave hustlers a 3.5. i don't know why i think this is funny, but i do. phil doesn't have it logged or rated, lmao.

a 4 (d) and a 3.5 (p) for barbie!

phil gave twilight a 3. lol.

phil also gave do revenge only a 3.5. tragique.

phil watched a LOT of horror alone in october 2022 (aka while dan was on tour). anyway he's just like me <3

[annwrites]

—meet me in the woods

say goodbye to who i was. i ain't never been away so long. don't look back, them days are gone. — thranduil x modernday!reader ; 𓋼𓍊 𓆏 𓍊𓋼𓍊.

a/n: while i've listened to bluefax's dramatic audiobook version of the hobbit, listened to phil dragesh's audiobooks of lotr (fellowship twice now), watched all of peter jackson's films multiple times, & seen s1 of trop, i'm not terribly versed in tolkien's lore. as such, i intend to be taking great liberties with this fic in regards to it.

i'm putting this note out there now, bc i know how tolkien's fans can be when it comes to lore accuracy & i'm not going to tolerate being attacked for discrepancies in a fanfic i'm writing for free & for fun. not to mention, first & foremost, for myself.

Thranduil’s nostrils flare and he rests his arms behind his back. “What are you doing out here?”

You jump at the unexpected sound of his voice, gripping the hem of your dress more tightly in your hands.

You settle your feet firmly in the softly flowing current of warm, shimmering water you stand in before you meet his gaze. “Wading.”

“You should be inside,” he spits.

Your brows furrow. “There’s guards,” you say, glancing across the way to a pair of archers, then back to him. “And at least being out here puts me out of your way.”

He takes a small step closer, leaves crunching beneath his tall leather boots. “You’ll do as I command.”

You stare up at him in disbelief.

He loathes your presence, so you come out here as an attempt to diffuse tension—to start instead enjoying your days in this unfamiliar place, away from his insufferable company—and still he’s displeased by your actions.

You step out of the river, climbing up the embankment, dropping your skirts around your bare feet while you blink up at him. “At once, your highness.”

He sneers at you, grabbing you roughly by the arm, pulling you into his chest.

You stare into his eyes, and he into yours, glancing between them and…your lips.

Finally, he releases you with a huff and a shake of his head—long silver hair slipping over his shoulders—marching back into Mirkwood.

He seats himself beside you upon lush green grass, watching as tree branches sway in the wind, birds flitting between them, chirping a musical tune, the scent of damp soil invading his senses.

You remain silent, fighting back tears.

“What is it today?” He asks with exasperation.

You shake your head, looking in another direction.

He rolls his eyes upwards. Difficult girl.

He remains silent, however, waiting for you to answer him.

“I’ve been here for weeks,” you state. “And I still can’t remember…anything. Not where I came from, or how I got here.”

Your chin wobbles. “I don’t even have a name.”

Silence settles into the space between you, hot tears slipping down your soft cheeks while you wrap your shawl more tightly around you.

“Would you like for me to, then?”

You look at him with furrowed brows. “What?”

He reaches up—swallowing thickly when you flinch away from his touch—tucking a lock of hair behind your ear before resting his hand in his lap again. “Name you.”

One day while exploring the woods near your house, you come across an open novel lying atop a rotting tree trunk, weeds sprouting from its pages. Wanting a closer inspection, you lean down, glancing over the faded printed words—something about a place called ‘Mirkwood’ and an elf named Thranduil—before you grip the page’s edge, about to turn it, and an overwhelming feeling comes over you before you blackout entirely.

And when you awake, it’s in a new world, with no knowledge left within you of your previous one. Not even your own name.

You’re quickly discovered by men with pointed ears who bear swords and bows, who begin a swift interrogation as to who you are and how you passed through their boundaries unnoticed.

You plead with them not to hurt you. That you have no idea where you even are—who you are—so they decide to bring you before their king, so as to answer for your crime of trespassing.

A king who immediately finds displeasure at your mortal presence in his home—eager to rid himself of you nigh-immediately—until you beg him not to banish you into an unknown land. To please help you—you’ll do anything he says—you just need to bide your time until your memory returns and then you will be gone, never to return.

With great reluctance, he takes a kernel of pity upon you. But he assures you: his hospitality has its limits, so you best tread carefully.

headcanons:

enemies-to-lovers.

reader’s memory will eventually return, but in random spurts.

when that starts occurring, it actually makes thranduil uneasy, afraid that once it’s been fully restored, she’ll leave him & mirkwood behind.

i know he’s not half-elf, but reader is going to be legolas’ mother.

[liamlawsonlesbian]

what book I would give each current formula one driver to introduce them to the joy of reading

an intellectual exercise no one* asked for

Max Verstappen: Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond - if you are nd and have read this book, you may understand me. otherwise just trust me. the impetus for this post

Checo Perez: The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White - this is an excellent read-aloud book for Sergio Jr.'s age, and there is nothing as wonderful as reading a compelling book to a kid you love, imho

Charles Leclerc: The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman - he is on the record as a Potter enjoyer. also, I think he would enjoy having a little animal friend

Carlos Sainz: Priestdaddy by Patricia Lockwood - okay yes this is partially a joke about the title, but this is a hilarious and wonderful memoir, about weird families and Catholicism, and I think Carlos would enjoy it.

Lando Norris: Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett - in my mind Lando is a little bit like @bright-and-burning but less cool, so this fits. also, the combination of high number of jokes/page + action/mystery seems like a good fit

Oscar Piastri: Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie - this book has the kind of mystery that really draws you in, plus I think Oscar would dig the questions about AI it digs into. I choose to believe with zero evidence that he would be interested in the funky gender stuff

Fernando Alonso: Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell - look me in the eye and tell me this book wasn't written for Fernando Alonso

Lance Stroll: Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card - yeah

Lewis Hamilton: Die Trying by Lee Child - Lewis deserves to read mildly trashy thrillers <3 plus there's a Tom Cruise movie

George Russell: Changing My Mind by Zadie Smith - as a proud Brit, George should be reading one of the premiere English authors of the 21st century. her first book of essays is a fun and readable place to start

Yuki Tsunoda: Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel - I don't have a Yuki-lore explanation, I just want to give him one of my favorite books

Daniel Ricciardo: The Gunslinger by Steven King - The Dark Tower series is Lord of the Rings-esque in scope but Western-inflected in aesthetic and written by The Horror Guy, I think DR would enjoy

Alex Albon: The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee - I say this with so much love in my heart, but Alex wants to be seen as smart. this book is brilliantly written pop science

Logan Sargeant: Bloomability by Sharon Creech - yes this is a book for tween girls, but it's about boarding school in Switzerland, and Sharon Creech is a genius. if I could convince him to read it, I think he would love it

Valtteri Bottas: The Fellowship of the Ring by JRR Tolkien - what are hobbits if not humanoid moomins?

Zhou Guanyu: Piranesi by Susannah Clarke - a fun, exciting, stylishly written book for a stylish guy

Kevin Magnussen: Watership Down by Richard Adams - rabbit warfare <3

Nico Hulkenberg: A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles - Hulk SEEMS like a Dad Who Reads Historical Fiction, even if he isn't yet

Pierre Gasly: Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo - I almost said A Game of Thrones but I don't think that would be good for him. so, Six of Crows. he likes heists!

Esteban Ocon: City of Brass by S.A. Chakraborty - a superhero origin story of sorts for Mr. Spiderman

Bonus: Liam Lawson: Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - lesbian from New Zealand. let me have this

*ro asked for it, take it up with them @oscarpiastriwdc

[stevesbipanic]

If You Would Promise Me Your Heart

For my Eddie, @steveshairychest.

Every nerd in Steve’s life had their mythical creature niche.

Robin loved pixies. Channelling their mischievous energy into her everyday life, bouncing around the store while they were on shift, even joking she’d get a pixie cut one day.

Nancy, though she would deny it to anyone outside their circle, loved fairies. Soft but calculating, intelligent and beautiful, when they had visited the ren faire the year prior her cheeks matched her glittery wings.

Dustin loved hobbits and Steve loved to affectionately call him one even as the boy grew just as tall as him, the excitement that crossed his face when Steve agreed to watch the movies with him made the confusing deep lore worth it.

Lucas loved ents. Steve would often find him in the woods just listening to the trees, he was the only one of them that would still brave the forest at night, the trees would keep him safe.

Max loved harpies. If Steve were to give any proof that these creatures existed, he’d just tell you to look at Max’s face when some boy told her girls can’t skate.

Will loved merfolk. When they visited the beach last summer Steve could see the years of stress melt away from the young boy’s face as he listened to the waves, the water washing away the memories.

El loved elves. She loved the many forms they came in from fantasy to Christmas, that they could be fun or loud or quiet or brave, that they could be whatever they wanted to pointy ears just made them a little special.

Mike loved griffins. He knew that being both just made you stronger, that you can be strong and brave and protect the things you love, that being different doesn’t make you less whole.

Erica loved unicorns. She would hit you if she heard you saying they were anything less than metal.

Which of course leads us to Steve’s favourite nerd, Eddie.

Eddie loved dragons.

The first thing he did once his scars had healed enough was to get a beautiful dragon tattoo across them, the rough skin almost like scales through the dragon’s back.

One of his most prized possessions is a massive red dragon figure for his campaigns.

Steve thinks he’s seen the How to Train Your Dragon movies more than every seven-year-old in the world because it’s the only things that make Eddie feel better when he has nightmares. He has seen them so many times that he can recite his own favourite scene by heart.

They’re in the small clearing in the woods behind their house, it’s spring, the afternoon is warm and the wind is calming. The sun is setting, they are sharing a small picnic, it’s perfect. The sun is bathing them in a golden light, Steve thinks Eddie would be beautiful even if the world was pitch black.

It’s time.

He whistles out the first few notes.

“I’ll swim and sail on savage seas, with ne’er a fear of drowning. And gladly ride the waves of life, if you will marry me.”

Eddie has turned to Steve recognising the song, his eyes are as bright as the love between them.

“No scorching sun, nor freezing cold, will stop me on my journey.”

Eddie’s eyes are shining, he’ll blame them on allergies.

“If you will promise me your heart, and love,” Steve looks expectantly at Eddie.

Eddie face breaks into a smile at Steve’s pause.

“And love me for eternity,” he continues, “My dearest one, my darling dear, your mighty words astound me. But I’ve no need for mighty deeds when I feel your arms around me,” Eddie sings pulling Steve to his feet as he stands.

Steve laughs as he continues, “But I would bring you rings of gold, I’d even sing you poetry!”

“Oh would you?” Eddie giggles.

“And I would keep you from all harm, if you would stay beside me.”

“I have no use for rings of gold, I care not for your poetry; I only want your hand to hold,” Eddie sings lacing their fingers.

“I only want you near me.”

The boys begin to spin and dance to only the tune of their voices.

“To love and kiss, to sweetly hold, for the dancing and the dreaming. Through all life’s sorrows and delights, I’ll keep your laugh inside me.”

Eddie begins to spin from Steve the joy bubbling up inside him, not even noticing Steve’s voice has gotten softer.

“I’ll swim and sail a savage seas, with ne’er a fear of drowning. And gladly ride the waves of life if-” the last words catching in his throat as he looks at Steve, down on one knee.

“If you will marry me.” Steve finishes, a beautiful black ring in the shape of a dragon protecting a ruby in its centre laying in a black box in his hand. “For the dancing and the dreaming, Stevie, yes.”

[autistook]

DAISIES | masterpost

💛 Chapter 1 💛 Chapter 11

💛 Chapter 2 💛 Chapter 12

💛 Chapter 3 💛 Chapter 13

💛 Chapter 4 💛 Chapter 14

💛 Chapter 5 💛 Chapter 15

💛 Chapter 6 💛 Chapter 16

💛 Chapter 7 💛 Chapter 17

💛 Chapter 8 💛 Chapter 18

💛 Chapter 9 💛 Chapter 19

💛 Chapter 10 💛 Chapter 20

Plot summary: Merry and you have been best friends for ages. Something slowly starts to change between you two. You start seeing him in a completely new light.

Also on AO3

《 AN: 'Daisies' changes some things from canon, Frodo having a sister (reader) and other things, including the distances between Hobbiton and Tuckborough or Buckland (canonically about 2 days by walking, hours with horses. In daisies however, all a few hours away by walking.) 》

While the start of the story is set before/at the start of the Fellowship of the Ring, the story will progress to the events of the trilogy. The events will sometimes differ just a little from canon and will also shift between book/movie events. Not everything is going to be 100% lore accurate, and I am sorry about that in advance.

《 Status: Getting closer to the end, but at least a few more chapters to go! 》

Pairing: Merry Brandybuck x fem!hobbit!reader / soft oc

《 Keyword: Slow burning romance 》

Trigger warnings and genres: At the start of every chapter, some mature themes

《 Reader/oc character: taken in/adopted by Bilbo Baggins as a small girl, after her parents died by drowning. Reader was given the last name Baggins after this. Reader is awfully afraid of water. Best friends with Merry and Pippin for years. Still lives in Bag End with Frodo, an older brother to her, even though not related by blood. A creative, slightly insecure personality, with a good sense of humor and a temper every now and then. Caring, adventurous and has child-like enthusiasm. Straight forward with words most of the time, but when crushing she becomes more awkward. 》

✨️ PLAYLIST ✨️

《 If you want to be added on a taglist for this fic, just let me know! 💛 》

[asoulwithadream]

Shoscombe Old Place / Part 1 - Sherlock & Co From the diary of ASoulWithADream...

I'm really enjoying this episode so far! The domesticity coupled with the rising tension, and references to something which both scares and intrigues me. As I see my summaries grow shorter, my commentary grows longer, and I think I find it a welcome change.

Live Soul Reaction (my on-the-spot commentary):

A HOOVER?

Sherlock wouldn't be good at poker.

I love that in almost all pseudo-official works of Sherlock Holmes and his adventures (as documented by Doctor John Watson), he never fucking cleans.

MARIANA. I know this gives us an adventure more centred on John-Sherlock but MARIANAAAA NO-

I think John saying "holly-bobs" has cured me.

Their little tangents bring me so much life. They remind me so much of me and my own best-friend, seamlessly flowing from one topic (where one of us may be more knowledgable) to the other. They've captured the chemistry of friendship so incredible well.

SWINDON TOWN! WOO!

"Right, well, let's just say: she didn't just get a double-D in Maths and French…" JONK.

John "bit of a slut" Watson.

"There's no episode," yeah right, everything's an episode. You are an episode. I am an episode. We are episode…

I love John's town lore. The world-building is insane and both so normal and so outrageous, meeting somewhere in the middle. John doesn't feel like a character in my phone, I can imagine him actually outside Swindon right now.

"You are an idiot," <33333333

You know who Carol Watson reminds me of? Colm McCool from Derry Girls.

Yapping runs in the family, I guess.

Formed to that shape over thousands of year. Like a river. Water. River. Water falling. What.

"And that was a prize, was it?" "Hah, shut up," <3

I see what you did there Jonk. I don't think him recording was a mistake. He wanted a case, and he knew a case would appear, because cases seem to follow Sherlock like mice to a piper. No argument over the game being afoot? Immediately starting the case from the first lead? John, you wanted this to happen. <3

"The entire species? Or a particular suborder?" "THE Beatles."

I thought Gary Lineker was that one guy Sherlock called a hunk.

"Did she have any animosity towards the creature?" Sherlock what.

"She's an eighty-six year old woman in San Tropez, John. I ain't got a scooby, mate." I LOVE YOU JOE!!! I <3 YOU!!!

"You don't realise a place is run down when you live in it, do you?" The nostalgia of that sentence hit me like a bull train. The tragedy of decay can co-exist with the love for a place in it.

Also, what's with the poker/card-game references? Is this relevant, or just an inside joke?

TATTOO REMOVAL??? CLOSE INSPECTION???? ONCE OR TWICE??????

I love that Sherlock is trying to ease John with having Carrie involved with the case, offering to avoid talking to her, being the one to contact instead, he's being so kind and thoughtful and I love seeing Sherlock act like this.

This hobbit aah music has got me joining the gnome vs knight war.

"To see this, trickle through the countryside, knowing what he'll eventually become. Journey, growth, and finally, lost, to much deeper, complex waters. Unrecognisable in the homogeny." That's a the second explicit mention of water, very poetically phrased as both a metaphor for something I can not quite put my finger on, and also… waterfalls. I think I was right to comment on the Final Problem a few days ago. Wrong in my theory, right with time.

"Bliss, cheers." <3

THE FUCK.

ARCHIE.

WITH HER??? HE WAS WHO'S?

CARRIE.

They're getting better at cliffhangers (pun intended). How do I know? I'm getting more and more frustrated.

[sotwk]

I've always thought that the reason for Tolkien elves losing interest in sex after having the kids that they want is a by-product of his Catholicism. My mum was raised Catholic and she says that she was raised to believe that children were the thing that redeemed sex and that ideally sex wouldn't happen at all. (Idk if that's a universal experience but it was hers) So it makes sense that Tolkien's elves, as 'higher' more spiritual beings would be less sexual beings and so would not partake in sex after they'd had their kids. (Which is why I ignore that particular titbit of Tolkien lore😉)

Ooof! I'm quite familiar with Catholic teachings on sex, and it sounds like the values your mom grew up with were quite extreme! (Religious values and beliefs run across a very wide spectrum, but let's not invite debates on that!) That sounds a lot more like something Mrs. Kim from Gilmore Girls would say. LOL.

I admit I lean more towards the puritan, "higher being" interpretation of Elves, especially the Calaquendi who have seen the Light of the Trees. There has to be something that distinguishes them from the other Middle-earth races, and temperance when it comes to carnal needs and urges (i.e. sex, food), is one of those characteristics. So yes, Elves are less interested in sex than Dwarves, Hobbits, but especially Men, but even their appetites vary within their race.

When it comes to the SotWK AU's interpretation of Thranduil and his Elvenqueen wife, Maereth, here is a rundown of my take on it:

(My headcanons are mostly guided by what was written in the LaCE, because I'm a Type-A nerd who likes rules and manuals, but these are just MY interpretation of it. It's not hardline LaCE compliant either, and regardless, my takes are neither canon nor law!)

Thranduil and Maereth are descendants of Calaquendi, but had not made the journey themselves. Technically, Maereth is closer to the Light of the Trees and arguably more "blessed" in that manner, since her mother was born in Tirion (Valinor), as opposed to Oropher who never completed the journey.

Thranduil was always more free-spirited ("as wild as one of Araw’s Kine", Oropher described him in my fic "The Crown") than the average Sinda, and over the years became even more alike the Silvan people he ruled over.

Silvans are culturally more sexual than the Sindar or Noldor, not necessarily in the sense of being promiscuous, but rather that they take more pleasure in the act itself as way of bonding with their partners, not just for the sake of begetting children.

The Silvans do not lose interest in sex even after thousands of years, and are able to retain monogamous relationships with their partners because Elven bonds (platonic, familial, romantic, etc.) are as enduring as their physical immortality.

This is what helps the Silvan/Greenwood population endure through the millennia, throughout the "Mirkwood" dark ages, and into the Fourth Age and beyond in Eryn Lasgalen. They keep having sex, keep reproducing, and their population is sustained even through attacks and wars.

Oh, and culturally, the Silvans also love children and celebrate the process of raising them as a community. That's a key factor in their population growth too.

Thranduil and Maereth are, foregoing more eloquent terms, absolutely bananas for each other. Epic, epic, love along the vein of Professor Tolkien's love for his wife Edith, and its parallel romance--Beren and Lúthien. Could you imagine Lúthien replacing or loving anyone other than Beren? (I guess you can imagine anything in fandom, but I hope you get my point.) Well, it's the same with Thranduil and his Elvenqueen. It's a rather unpopular take on his love life, but that's how it is at least in the SotWK AU.

So yeah, they never tire of each other and never stop wanting each other, in any way, by any definition. They naturally stop begetting children after Legolas (their 5th), but the lovemaking definitely continues.

Sorry for the delay in this response, Anon--I hope you're still able to see and read this. And I hope the uncalled-for infodump makes it better, not worse! LOL. Thank you for the Ask!

[neyafromfrance95]

I'm going to be honest about something. I don't like Celeborn. I don't dislike him either. Infact I have always been pretty indifferent to him because there really isn't anything about that character that stands out for me. And it's not just because of the movies. Even when I read the books first, I was more interested in the sheer adoration Gimli had for Galadriel.

The truth is while many of Tolkien's Elves are fascinating characters in their own right, Celeborn really isn't one of them. While he is not a badly written character, he just pales in comparison before better characters who play more significant roles. And while it doesn't make a difference in the Third Age stories where he and Galadriel help out the Fellowship, a story with him as a leading character and focusing on his relationship with Galadriel will be, for the lack of a better word, boring. Sure, they had a healthy relationship in canon without any drama or conflict but a compelling romance that doesn't make. Perhaps Peter Jackson understood it too which is why The Hobbit movies played around with the idea of Galadriel and Gandalf though it was mostly subtext and subtle. TRoP went two steps ahead and made a dark romance with Galadriel and Sauron which might become official by the end of this season. It's because , as characters, Gandalf and Sauron are a hundred times more interesting than Celeborn and their dynamics with Galadriel are more entertaining to explore. As amazing the actors are, their chemistry works because the characters fit well together too. The idea of opposites being attracted to each other, of the embodiment of darkness being drawn to light personified has captured the imagination of many for ages.

I do not believe what haters say about the books and lore being 'desecrated' because nothing can destroy what's written in the books as long as people know how to separate them from their derivative works while discussing them. RoP is a fanfic and those who like it acknowledge it as one. But the Jackson's two trilogies which made several changes not just to the plot but the characters as well were fanfics as well. So were the Ralph Bakshi movie, Shadow Of Mordor and the upcoming War of the Rohirrim.

People can enjoy the books, movies, show and game either collectively or separately and coexist in this vast internet while respecting each other's opinions or ignoring those they disagree with. Don't like the show? Ignore it then. But I do find it hypocritical when people claiming to be 'book purists' act like RoP is the worst thing in existence while treating the Jackson movies as completely canon compliant.

Re: RoP, for obvioys reasons, I hope Celeborn doesn't appear before the fourth season and even when he does, Galadriel's character shouldn't retreat to the backstage. Celeborn got to spend an eternity with Galadriel in the Blessed Realm; let the show belong to her and Sauron.

i have nothing to add to this except for the fact that when a normie thinks of lotr, other than the hobbits, they think of gandalf, sauron, galadriel and aragorn, aint nobody thinking about celeborn 😭

now i personally don't dislike celeborn for one important fact - he doesn't "overshadow" galadriel. the marriage with him didn't turn her into a submissive wife, in fact he was the one following her and she got to be a leader. that's not something other female characters can brag about in lotr, unfortunately.

but yeah, i love a low-key malewife for my girl but that doesn't make for a very compelling and captivating story, does it? fingers crossed he only appears in s4/5.

[babybluebex]

I like to think older!Eddie is still an adorable nerd. He still air-guitars to songs he loves, he still gets excited over D&D and all the new editions of the game, he entertains you by being dramatic or serenading you with his guitar. Part of him will always be that sweet boy who hurled himself backwards off a bench to make a girl laugh.

no bc why did this make me so emotional, why would you say that to me

but he will never grow out of being a nerd, he def has a d20 tattooed on him somewhere and he’s there opening night for all the lord of the rings movies, but he’s not gatekeep-y about it, he loves teaching people about the lore and he lets the little kids in the trailer park borrow his copy of the hobbit all the time, and when he turns 50, he finally buys himself tickets to see metallica in concert bc he’s never been before

and he’s such a loser, he’ll do anything to make you laugh, including hurtling himself backwards off a bench and much more. he’ll pull funny faces at you from across the dinner table and he’ll make up grand stories of rogues and princesses to make you smile after a long day, and he’ll get down on his knees and rest his head on your leg and stare up at you like 🥺 when he hasn’t seen you in a long time

basically our boy at 60 is the same kid he was when he was 20, just more grey hair and back problems

[alexanderlightweight]

Wednesday idea - Long-haired braided shadowhunters. Braids indicate position, attitude, relationships etc, and letting someone braid your hair is huge sign of trust. Maybe times Alec asks/is asked to braid his people's hair, Alec realising he doesn't want Izzy/Jace to braid his hair as he loses trust in them, or his shadow-hunters teaching Magnus the right braids because they know Alec wants to show his trust in their traditions. If any pick your fancy, I just love long hair as show of trust!

So my kelpie!au has long haired alec and I love that there are various meaning of braids. Half of my foray into lotr/hobbit fandoms are for the hair lore.

Thank you for the prompt and I hope you like it

—Clary fits right in at the Institute and Izzy and Jace take to braiding her hair between them. Eager with their time and hands and intimacy as they soak up her heat like little moths hunting flames.

Alec watches with what feels like is going to become a permanent glower and sets down his foot only when they try to give the girl braids hasn't earned.

His siblings come to find and braid his own hair less and less and Alec refuses to go to them.

Their braids in his hair are something he allows from them, not something he craves.

He’s a shadowhunter commander, the only one who should be putting braids in for him are his second-in command or significant other.

He's allowed them to get away with it because they’re family, but if they don’t wish for it, he won’t seek it out.

Clary tries to touch his hair once and he throws her through a door. Jace tries to yell at him and every single shadowhunter in the room bristles and takes a step towards him.

Jace doesn’t try to scold Alec for it again in public and when he tries in private, Alec reaches out and rests his fingers just above Jace’s own hair.

“Your little girl touches my hair again—“ Alec says seriously, because this is his promise as a bloodied warrior, “and I will send her to Idris bald and broken. And they can summon the silent brothers and a warlock to extract anything useful from her brain, because they won’t be able to bring anything else back.”

And Jace pales and accepts it, because Alec doesn’t joke about things like this.

Alec doesn’t even braid his own siblings' hair, because he can’t afford to falter in battle.

That his hands might shake if he sees a fallen body with braids he himself forged is too great a risk.

So Alec goes on with his business and he tries not to be too stunned when they end up meeting Magnus Bane, whose very presence is magical.

And he tries not to respond to what he knows is flirting because it’s different. What Magnus is offering is too different from what Alec wants, what he needs.

So Alec stiffens his shoulders and tries to scowl when he wants to smile because Magnus is lovely.

And then, three days after Alec’s latest attempt at ignoring him, Magnus shows up with long hair flowing freely and Alec walks into a wall.

Magnus doesn’t come to him, spending instead a suspiciously long time talking with Mirai and glancing suggestively and heatedly at Alec.

It’s distracting and Alec is relieved his siblings and Clary are elsewhere for once

And then Magnus is coming towards him and his hair is no longer loose. It’s being braided intricately with magic.

And they’re specific braids. Braids that Alec never thought he’d see. .

“I couldn’t help myself.” Magnus says, like Alec doesn’t know he only just found out about this tradition.

And it’s shocking… but this is what Alec has always craved.

Someone equal.

Of a standing similar or above Alec’s own, someone who can bear the burden of loving Alec and not break.

Because everyone breaks in their love for him.

Love for him, even familial love runs out eventually.

But Magnus is a warlock who showed up with shadowhunter length hair when he most certainly had short hair before.

And his braids are new.

They’re new and they’re not an invitation.

They’re a declaration.

Magnus is intending to fight for Alec’s attention and possibly his entire being and he’s not taking no for an answer.

Alec swallows because the braids Magnus is suddenly sporting — and the knife he holds out with a flourish of magic for Alec to accept — makes Alec’s knees weak with sudden want.

“I accept.” He says and he takes the knife, Magnus already holding the matching one.

And he knows that either way, even if he somehow wins, he is going to accept.

He and Magnus are going to leave this fight with a lock of each other's hair braided into their own.

Because Magnus wants him, and a fight like this, it means that maybe, whatever interest Magnus has formed in Alec will last, until Alec can plug every hole that might drain Magnus’ attention.

And Alec doesn’t swallow down the soft, adoring smile he sends Magnus’ way as the floor clears and Alec settles into a crouch.

It seems Alec was wrong, Magnus is exactly what he needs.

And everything he wants.

[idiot-mushroom]

Do April, Sunita, Irma, and Raph have girls night? Is Mikey included? What would they do?

Do they all have a distinct smell, or just a group smell? <- weird question but my siblings and I kind of pair off with smells, it's odd

Did the teetlez have any big hyper fixations growing up? If so, what where they? Do any of them collect stuff? (rocks, pins, stickers) stuff like that, small and easy to hide

Are any of them a helpless romantic?

Will other villains (besides Shredder) be introduced? Is there a leader once missions become a thing? Who is the medic?

You mentioned the farmhouse, will Leo be in a coma?

Who is the most in touch with their feelings? Does Raph get better about opening up?

When the turtles are 'sick', would splinter ever take their clothes or bedsheets?

girls night out!!

they do have girls night (smtimes w/ mikey) where they chill, talk abt their problems, catch up, watch disney shows, cook, bake, ect.

smells!!

raph smells like mustard (most of the time) but after a jog or going out he usually smells like wet concrete

leo smells like their laundry cleaner (or just clean clothes in general) but after dancing in the subway for money he smells like carboard and greasy fast food

don usually smells like frebreeze unless he just came back from his work shop, in which he would smell like pennies

mikey smells like burnt marshmellows, but after his usual hobbies of going places (the movie theaters) he smells like buttered popcorn

splinter smells like almonds

april smells like paper

casey smells like spray paint usually but after a hockey game (every other day) he smells like sweat and adrenaline

barry smells like his lab, full of crystals, metals, and mystic energies

hyperfixations!!

they all love avatar (the movie w/blue cat alien ppl) and had a poster abt it in leo’s room (it was blue and leo has always had dibs on blue things period) until he ‘got sick’

donnie has a hobbit sticker he has stuck on the back of his laptop bc he loves the book/movies

mikey has a pin of the jeepers creepers movie of (that rosé tattoo that one guy had) he cherishes with his life (he also has a southpark hoodie but we don’t talk abt that)

raph has a supernatural (yes the tv show w/ 15 seasons) mini poster that he has hid behind his drawers and a gravity falls t-shirt he wear smtimes when he goes to sleep

leo has a sonic the hedgehog hoodie he wears smtimes when splinter isn’t around. he also has a camp halfblood sweatpants he wears to bed on most nights.

splinter makes fun of them for their fandoms/hyperfixations (sad sad frfr)

raph and leo are defo helpless romantics

lore stuff?? maybe

yes including: bebop and rocksteady, baxter stockman, big mama, slash (not rlly a bad guy more like morally grey vigilante), karai, and simon bonesteel

donnie is medic, no arguments

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: no one is leader in this au, they all have their own roles:

mikey - the combatant + scout

raph - the tank/brawn + protector

donnie - medic + engineer

leo - strategist + scout

no leo does not get into a coma, but raph does

mikey is the most intuned w/ his emotions (why he got his powers first) but raph has to do a LOT of healing before he can express his emotions correctly

no he does not take clothing or bedsheets or furniture, only possessions, things that make them happy and display their personality. things he knows they will miss dearly.

thx for the ask i love talking abt my au :3

[shirefantasies]

Am I too late to join in on matchups? If so please just ignore this ask and know that I'm sorry

I'd like a male ship please. I'm an autistic girl with adhd and a couple chronic illnesses like joint pain especially in my hands and dyspraxia so I'm super clumsy. I'm 4' 10" tall with long wavy auburn hair, glasses, pale skin that's covered in freckles and moles and a petite figure. I'm very friendly and bubbly but I can also be kinda asocial and don't actively seek out interaction much. I enjoy writing, drawing (recently I've been getting really into MS Paint art), video games, reading, hiking and researching things that interest me. I'm very intelligent and also witty, I'm actually pretty good at making people laugh! I work as a librarian and am hoping to become a linguist someday too. Thanks!

"Hey sweetie, here's my additions for my matchup description! Thanks so much for taking the time to do all these ships, you're a true saint. I hope these don't conflict with the draft you have set up already

🪆 I’m both very level-headed and very stubborn, and I can also be quite fierce and even argumentative but that’s fairly rare. I just don’t tend to back down easily, and I’m a very resilient person

🪆 I can be a bit of a homebody, especially since I’m disabled, and I get very attached to wherever I happen to be living. I like having a garden whenever possible too, even if it's an indoor one.

🪆 I’m very friendly and sweet, but I also like messing with people a little. This is especially fun because I have unusual interests like botanical poisons or the science of decomposition. I can tend to be pretty morbid without even realizing it. That being said, my friendly side is no facade and I genuinely love taking care of people.

🪆 I especially love cooking for people and trying to recipes for others

🪆 I enjoy working out but am still very skinny. It’s actually funny how my large arms contrast with my Disney Princess-esque waist

🪆 I like to take relationships very very slowly and develop a solid friendship before considering dating someone, so I really don't want someone who takes things too fast. I'm also not a fan of overly flirty people, even if they're completely loyal to me I just get turned off by over the top displays of affection. 

🪆 I have legendary pain tolerance and tend to laugh off injuries more than anything

🪆 I’m addicted to buying new books, particularly on witchcraft and botany

🪆 I know a LOT about different types of spirits and deities, especially as a witch. I could go on and on about spirit lore for hours

Thanks, have a great day!"

Not too late at all! & I was really early on in it so this is fine! I can kind of work to combine them in fact 😁 They just take a long time lmao 😅 hope it’s ok I went LoTR because your man is…

Frodo!

You aren't used to being approached while you work; quite the contrary, in fact, many passersby almost seem to treat you like you don't exist at all when you appear in the peripheries of their vision hunched over your books and scrolls. Which, admittedly, is suitable to you as your work is quite consuming. Quenya translations do not come without focus, after all. So when a voice sounds at your back, your clumsy side emerges as you startle, almost overturning your ink pot before a small, pale hand darts out to catch and right it. “My apologies,” you hear from behind you, “I was just curious what form of Elvish that was.”

Turning around, you see a hobbit, dark-haired and blue-eyed and shyly smiling at you. He is clad in a white shirt and brown pants and something about the navy vest he wears gives him a studious air. You smile. “Quenya, very old. In fact this book,” you motion over the tome you’ve been comparing against the ancient scroll, “is a chronicle of the witches of old. Quick different from anything we see these days.” A mixture of teasing and apprehension crossed the hobbit’s visage. “And what are you doing with a book like that?” “Looking for a way to raise my undead army,” you tease back, leaning forward toward him in your chair. At that, both of you laugh and exchange introductions. His name is Frodo and it would seem his uncle is quite a student of languages as well, teaching Frodo newer, more practical forms of Elvish and studying some Khuzdul himself. In fact, he is only there outside the Shire to have an old book of his uncle’s appraised.

You can’t help the wave of distraction that overtakes you after you offer your own skills, though; adjusting your spectacles and pushing your chair back, you cannot resist asking Frodo about his Shire. He pulls back a chair of his own, taking up a spot at your side with a smile you can only describe as lovestruck. Stubborn as you can be, you give no fight to the derailment of your work as Frodo speaks of rolling green hills, warm hearths and sunny gardens and flowers hung upon fences. You understand his expression completely, a sigh escaping your own lips at his vividly gorgeous words. "We may know little of your witchcraft or translations in the Shire, but it's home. The greatest home I could ask for." He had you at sunny gardens. "I would love to see it," you reply, setting your quill down. "He isn't always fond of guests," Frodo chuckles, folding his arms on the table, "but I think someone with your knowledge and spirit would quite amuse him. Come and visit us. I will have Uncle Bilbo convinced by the time you get there." "Oh, he needs convincing, does he?" "Perhaps you could put a spell of some sort on him."

The older hobbit you quickly learn is Frodo’s uncle Bilbo still looks surprised by your presence at his nephew’s side, but he gets a glitter in his eyes you expect to be quite characteristic once you bring up your meeting with Frodo. You end up talking to Bilbo as much as his nephew at dinner, in fact, sharing many glances with the proudly smiling Frodo as you hear the most amazing tales of dwarf-song and dragon fire and even time spent alongside Lord Elrond himself in the great homely house. Bilbo chuckles at the way your eyes light up, your questions about the magic woven around Rivendell and how different it is from the small spells you’ve attempted. That certainly gets the old hobbit’s eyebrows shooting up! At the end of it, you agree with Frodo’s assessment of the Shire’s warm hearths and have continued invitations to see your friends.

And that is definitely how you see it for quite some time, after all you work with Bilbo as much as you run around the Shire woods with Frodo, dodging his cousins plucking up mushrooms and trading botany facts and tips with Samwise, Bag End’s gardener, while Frodo looks on with the smile you’ve grown to love. Suspicion that he is just teasing you rises one day when he looks at you fondly, half-asking, half making a statement to you. "You really have fallen for the Shire, haven't you?" Of course you have. The hobbits admire your strength, at least for the most part- those that poke at you about big folk disturbing the peace or the Bagginses stirring things up again risk your comebacks, after all, the bite of your wit tearing perfectly back against the bore of their lives and personalities. Every time you swivel from such interactions, there is Frodo and that fond smile that suddenly you aren't so sure how to respond to. You don't know what to do when he takes your hand to show you something or catches you when your feet slip out from under you, hands about your waist. You don't mind, especially given Frodo's knowledge that your hands get achy and cold and somehow his find them right as it sets in, and beside that he was nothing but a gentleman to you. That in and of itself seems to be the sudden source of your hysteria right up to the moment Frodo rises onto his tiptoes and presses his lips ever so gently to yours. He's told you again and again over your compared translation notes, over twisting little charms and flower crowns together, over even blood and bandages and your laughter over the way your dear hobbit frets while you feel next to nothing.

You are lucky in the gift of Frodo as you frequently tell him, as you make known when you take his arm on a hike and share in that fond smile he gives you. Frodo is a gentle soul, affectionate but not so overt in his advance as to deter you. To put it bluntly, Frodo is not a sexual person, so the nature of your relationship as it is and the love you share in your spent time are plenty to satisfy him. Forever you have someone to bring you tea and a kiss to the crown of your auburn head as you pore over documents, someone to bake for and an uncle who laughs heartily at every insistence of yours that he needs to take you to Rivendell to study their wards, throwing in the Lonely Mountain for good measure. Between the three of you, Bag End fills with books in no time, but you certainly cannot complain when some of them are quite ancient indeed, teasing challenges by your favorite hobbits, one of whom sees himself in you and the other who simply sees the beauty in you while you work. Even if sometimes you work a little too hard and he has to help you back into your now-shared hobbit hole to rest your back after a little too long sketching, weeding, and planting in the garden you are beautiful, shining with sweat and dabbed with proof of your connection to the earth. You certainly are the best thing Frodo has brought home on an errand.

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @kilibaggins @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia @datglutengoblin @letmelickyoureyeballs | Reply/Ask/Message to join 🥰