#goddd i need to write not sad things for this

[eldrith]

oh babe dont get me wrong, i thoroughly enjoyed the fic (everything you write is an automatic favorite) and it was so, so heartwrenchingly beautiful but omg i'm in pain lmao.

also going back to the last ask you answered of mine (before the sad fic one. lol)!! absolutely he is the #1 wifehusband. dare i say #1 malewife. but this part!! "he’d want to talk to his wife for days on end, and also could (and does) talk about her for so so long to anyone who was around. #1 wifehusband i stand by this" skdufhaskf YESSSSSSSS. i can just imagine him keeping his wife up later than usual (and not for the reasons she truly desires. jace is a dumb Loser for not noticing.) yapping her ear off, especially if it's been a busy busy day as the crown prince.!! or rhaenyra having to cut jace off in a council meeting bc he's droning on and on about his wife, and while she thinks it's cute and endearing, they have actual business to attend to.. "and wearing pieces of jewelry that belongs to each other omg." girl i just went weak in the knees ugh akshfaksj didn't know i needed that in my life but now i do. or jace having jewelry crafted from pieces of old swords/equipment of his for his wife to have something of his with her always, or his wife giving him a tiny pocket square of embroidery to tuck into his pocket that has become so worn from the amount of time he spends rubbing his thumb over it (especially during longgggggg meetings). he lowkey gives fidgeter vibes so i can just see it becoming a soothing mechanism for him !! "so cute and like can u imagine how rhaenyra would just be so happy to see how happy jace is (& how incredible of a man hes become… hes so devoted to his sweet wife)" i'm getting teary eyed with an idea of rhaenyra thinking about how proud harwin would be of jace and what a great man he's become. anyway don't let me expand further on that bc i will Cry (and talk your ear off for 12 hours)!!!!!!! also rhaenyra would be the best mother in law??? ever??? so so supportive and sweet and loves how much you love and adore her son. anyway. Anyway. also in my head luke lives and spends 90% of the day teasing jace over how whipped he is for his wife :// little brother things i fear. and jace has zero shame bc he's #1 wife guy and knows luke will be the exact same way one day soon.

one day i will expand on jace as a father but. i fear i've talked enough today pookie. love u. - hubby jace anon <33

aw stop ur too nice omg :') im glad u enjoyed it <3

but omg yes 10000% to all of this.

jace literally bounding into his wife's quarters, basically oblivious to the looks she's sending him as he just rambles and talks, so excited to be with her. and asking her about her day, sighing gently when she starts to kiss up and down his neck nevermind i can't go there

also in the earlier stages of marriage or when the war is quite stressful and theyre at council and jace out of nowhere just snaps to defend his wife's honor, calling someone out who slightly disrespected her and the chamber goes silent... <3<3 love <3<3

i also loveee the idea of having a piece of him on her at all times <3 and like... jace gets one of her rings and puts it on a necklace and wears it under his clothes. he fidgets with it when he's reading or strategizing, just as he does with the pocketsquare (you have to give him a new one bc the first one is so frayed) alSO he takes your hair ribbons and uses them as bookmarks. yeah

& ur so right rhaenyra would be emotional and see so much of harwin in jace and shes just so proud. also yes she'd be the best mother in law i see her inviting you to dine with her and just thoroughly enjoying your presence, gossiping and just loving spending time with you & seeing you interact with her son. she would love you like a daughter - she always wanted one.

also stop can you imagine luke... oh my goddd. hed be thrilled to make fun of jace and i feel like he'd become so fond of calling jace ur dog lmao.

things like being in a hall with luke when jace enters, speaking with some lord - you wait for him patiently to end his conversation but luke has no mind for that and immediately teases jace. calling out to him, "here boy!" mocking and whistling like one would summon a dog, "your lady needs you!"

or or or (you've awoken a beast in me this is your fault) like

him walking past and catching jace adjusting the clasp on your necklace or something, maybe helping you with your slippers and he cant help but just go "i swear you’ve got him trained better than the hounds." you roll your eyes at luke, shooing him away with a grin as he mutters "he’d probably sit and beg if you asked him to.”

but jace would just grin so proudly, laughing and shaking his head as he stepped back to admire his handiwork - then sending you a look when luke is gone lmao.

& luke and jace sitting at a feast watching you dance with others and luke just gives him a look, "wipe that grin off your face, you look like you've gone mad. i think you're salivating" and jace is just like "she's so beautiful." & luke rolls his eyes, gagging, “gods help me if i ever get like that.”

but jace knows his brother, and he smirks, "oh, you’ll be there someday, luke.” luke rolls his eyes and huffs, "strike me dead first." and with no hesitation jace just mutters "i'll be sure to. if not before."

yeah i have so many thoughts about that... luke would become jace's wife's annoying little brother but also her bff

also PLEASE father jace bring it on omg. he'd be the cutest father i actually am going to pass out

[diorsluv]

casual , part 12

“ knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

edwards.73

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yourusername 🥰

→ edwards.73 ❤️

rutgermcgroarty you actually did it

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→ edwards.73 yeah i guess so

username18 OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDD

username26 YEAHHH LES GO HE DID IT

mackie.samo was this purely to spite rutger

→ edwards.73 maybe, maybe not

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markestapa AYYYY

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username57 this was. shocking!!!!

username12 LOOK AT HER SHES SO CUTE HERE

adamfantilli when did this occur

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vivianliu doesn’t seem very appreciative

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username46 good thing happened from bad intentions

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jackhughes 🙃

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luca.fantilli ur caption makes no sense

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username28 personally i think you should drop him

username16 would now be a good time to exercise my weekly #RUTSUPREMACY privileges

liked by yourusername

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vivianliu YOU NEED A YELLOW DAY. BECAUSE YELLOW = HAPPY. BLUE - BLUE + YELLOW = HAPPY.

→ yourusername i had an aneurysm reading that

→ vivianliu i had an aneurysm writing it

→ vivianliu BUT REGARDLESS IM STILL RIGHT AND U KNOW IT

→ yourusername mmm

→ vivianliu please babe i just want to see you smile again

lhughes_06 did he make u sad.

→ yourusername hi lukey

→ lhughes_06 im taking that as a yes

→ lhughes_06 next time i see that little shit someone’s gonna have to hold me back

→ vivianliu luke! you. don’t. know. how. to. fight????

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username61 awww the outfits are cute

username57 our little fashion queen ⁉️

rutgermcgroarty how about instead of moping we go have a little best friends day at mini golf

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→ rutgermcgroarty vivi we all know what your golfing skills are like

→ yourusername rut come pick me up in an hour

→ vivianliu u cant putt for shit dont even talk to me mcgroarty

trevorzegras you’re not updating me on any of this

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username81 girl i need u as my personal stylist

→ username50 FR

adamfantilli i fw those blue pants

→ yourusername ofc you do

→ adamfantilli wdym by that 😢😢

→ yourusername nothing but i am surprised that u didn’t bring up the blue jacket

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→ adamfantilli you’re not funny

→ luca.fantilli she’s pretty funny

_quinnhughes isn’t that mom’s old skirt

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→ jackhughes he thinks it looks good on u rosie

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username5 i’ve never seen someone so pretty before oh my god

colecaufield i’m ready to square up if you need me

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edwards.73 why

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username16 UR SO PRETTY HE DOESNT DESERVE U

jackhughes i told you 10 times be careful with him

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→ yourusername BURNNNNNNNN

next chapter notes ) i haven’t updated this in a week guys am i cooked?!?! wanna start that rut au so badly but i don’t want it to flop and i also don’t wanna put another au on hold 😔😔

tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust @alwaysclassyeagle @love4ldr @inhoodmood @bunting58 @crazycat-ladys-blog @smoooore @bunbunbl0gs @lilasianmeat

[crabonfire]

Mercs and some general dating headcannons :))

Characters: All mercs

Warning: none that I can think of!!

Note: I actually wanted to do this like a while ago but the motivation wasn't there...NOW IT IS!! this is a VERRRYYY long list of sweet headcannons for the boys and my special girl aka my girlfriend aka my silly little meow meow, Ms pauling :)

These are NOT in order, but I cover each character, don't worry! Im just writing this like without thought rn •♡•!!

(Ps reposts are GREATLY appreciated thanks cuties ♡)

♡Engie♡

• he's constantly calling you sweet pet names like honey, sugar, darlin...whatever corny name it is, you know he's calling you it.

• if you have a sweet tooth your in luck! I have a headcannon that when he's stressed with his inventions, he takes that time to cool off with BAKING!!! Its a craft that isn't as difficult as making a robot or upgrading a sentry, as all he needs to do is follow the instructions and it's a guaranteed success. So, it calms him down a bit and he gets to have a little snack break :)

So cause of that, he will bake for you!! Pies, Cakes, anything you're craving, he's got it.

• he makes u trinkets all the time. I feel like he's a man with many love languages, Quality time, Acts of service, and Gift Giving. He definitely cherishes you and shows it with the gifts he makes you.

• after a long day, it doesn't matter what your doing or where you are, he will always want to spend the rest of it cuddling you. Man LOVES cuddling.

• he's super corny. not surprising I know. not "writing poems for my love" corny but "making inventions and buying gifts for my love because they mentioned that they wanted it one time a couple days ago" type of corny.

• cannot STAND IT when you two are away. Like, he tells you that he'll be okay, and you'll be okay without you, but a day in and he already misses you.

• you are genuinely so good for him. His work makes him so occupied he forgets to eat or take care of himself, and he just...misses you a lot.

• his preference of dates are ones where he can have your full undivided attention, peace and quiet makes a great atmosphere for sweet intimacy.

Oh and one more thing, adores holding your hand. Walking together he's holding your hand, sitting down together? Holding your hand. Making love? Holding hands ♡♡♡♡

goddd I love cowboys yeehaaw 😊😊🫶🫶

♡Spy♡

• OK so yk how I said engie isn't making poems for my love corny? Well that's spy

• I wouldn't say spy is corny, I'd say he's cheesy but in a very elegant and refined way. Like wouldn't be overly cheesy, but he'd write you letters and poems so incredibly sweet you have to see your dentist if he gave you cavities.

• like engie, loves buying you stuff. His main love language.

"Mon amour, I have a gift for you."

"Oh-really? Oh man, you didn't need to get me anything."

"I know, but I saw this, and I know it would look good on you."

When you pull it out of the bag it's a pair of earrings that match your eyes, with a finishing touch that makes it glow in the moonlight.

"Spy...its...beautiful." You mutter out, enchanted by the beauty of the earrings. He smiles softly, charmed by your adorable reaction.

"Of course it is, I only pick the best for my love."

• god I love men so fucking much jesus fucking christ

• he definitely is not a vulnerable man. if you ever notice him being distant, it's because he's sad. But he will never ever admit it or even show it.

• if you do somehow notice, if you want to help, you need to confront him. He will not open up right away, but after seeing your worry, he will eventually give in. This guy needs a lot of comfort man.

He really appreciates and is thankful for the comfort or effort. it's nice. In his past experiences with genuine relationships, he's had trust issues with new ones... but he's slowly opening up to you.

• you two will cuddle in his smoking room. 100%.

• he loves to tease you, but especially loves to do it in French. Knowing the fact that you have no idea what he's saying but is still flustered by his words, it makes him feel so mushy inside. He used to hate it, but now, it's the only thing he wants to feel when he's with you.

AGHHHH EWWW FRENCH PEOPLE!! (I'd let him do me 🤤)

♡Pyro♡

• my sweet sweet little pyromaniac

• hold your hand all the time. loves hand holding.

• all your dates together are pretty simple, but sometimes he surprises you with literally insane ones.

• like hey yeah he took you to that nice picnic once during a time you were super sad, aww that's sweet...but remember that one time you two got banned from a zoo because he convinced you to join him by breaking inside of the fucking alligator exhibit? yeah. reaaal sweet.

• gives you mask kisses. they're more like little boops, but he'll make a "mwah!" Sound whenever he does and it makes u giggle (he loves it when you laugh or giggle ur so cute stink)

• I think if you've been close enough in the relationship, one day, he'd pull you aside to his room, and wear normal clothing. He won't take his mask off just yet, but he'd be comfortable enough to show his body off to you. (I headcannon him to have kind of a chubby body, he's a bit tanned, having some burn marks from his back to his hands.

• he's quite scared on how you'd react, but once he sees the fondess in your eyes and that genuine smile...he can't help but be relieved.

"Oh Pi..."

You'd slowly approach him, "May I..?" He's hesitant, but he nods.

You'd hold his hand and feel his skin for the first time, admiring ever single detail about it like your memorising it. He's watching you the entire time, curiously. You can't see, but he can feel his cheeks heat up when you lean to kiss the back of his hand. Then, making his hand cup your cheek, now its your turn to blush as you can feel his soft palm on your cheek, melting into it.

You look up at him. A love struck expression is now plastered onto your face,

"Pi... you're so gorgeous, baby."

Now, he feels as if his face is on fire. He looks away, fully knowing you can't see his face. You chucke, continuing to admire other parts of his body. The night is calm, ending with you two cuddling for the first time without his suit on, being able to feel his arms and how they trail over your body.

Man, is he so happy to have you.

• OK this was supposed to be a headcannon thing but I just realized I wrote a whole fucking one shot for pyro LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO HELP MEEEEE BAHAHHAHAHA

he'd be comfortable enough to take his mask off after a couple weeks of you seeing him and being with him without the bodysuit. yass!!

I love him so much...the silly!!!!! (Also not a dating headcannon but just a headcannon I headcannon pyro as a transman who got surgery but still likes feminine things, goes by He/She and doesn't mind they and also a silly goober!!! Hehe I love him)

♡Scout♡

• OK so I'm gonna be fr with u right neow I think if you two are just starting out its gonna be a bit difficult, he definitely has a lot of toxic masculinity to work through and also just...not understanding of certain stuff. But after you explain some boundaries and help him with his issues, it's great.

• you two get into all sorts of silly situations together, and he loves doing dumb stuff with you.

• for example, here's a conversation he once had with you unironically while eating fish;

"Hey babe, ya think that if I drank water, the fish would like...swim in my stomach or something?"

"...wh...what?"

"Like if since I just ate fish if I drank the water what if like the fish went up my throat again and I went guurlgllblulrrgllhbl??"

"Jeremy- laugh what???

"Yk like...fish live in water so what if it came alive again? lol??"

There's silence between you two until you both burst out laughing, you hitting the desk because of how dumb he is and him only realising how dumb he sounds.

• he loves you so much. He promised he wouldn't be one of those corny couples, but whenever you're cuddling, he's such a baby. He would REFUSE to let you go, and he'd constantly be talking some sweet cheesy stuff into your ear. He's definitely a sleep talker, and on the chances he's fallen asleep on top of you while cuddling, he'd say some corny stuff.

"...S/O..?"

"Yeah baby?"

"...I love ya...you smell nice..." He'd smile like a goof

(When me? WHEN ME? WHEN ME BITCH WHEN ME???@?@?"

• he loves it when you wear his clothes. I think he'd wear a lot of varsity jackets, and he melts whenever you wear one of his.

• definitely a possessive idiot that will threaten to fight whoever hits on you.

"Oh yeah? You want em huh? Oh, alright then, dats all good....Square up punk. I'm gonna beat you up so badly you're gonna start seein' stars. Yeah? YEAH? YOU WANNA FREAKIN' GO? LOUD FUCKING SWING LMFAO YEAH THAT'S RIGHT-MORON. Can't have them with your brains bashed in yea? Haha, you see that, babe? Babe...? Huh- what do you mean we gotta go? Someone...called the copsOHSHITWEGOTTAGO-"

• On several occasions, he has punched and / or used his bat on somebody who hit on you even after you told them you were taken.

get me a skinny twink who would beat someone up for me if they looked at me funny ♡

♡Sniper♡

• Hes such a clingy boyfriend I swear

• if you were doing something he'd wrap his arms around you from behind, nuzzling into your shoulder as he takes in your scent (it comforts him) as he smiles into you.

"You okay babe?"

"Mmh yeah, just missed ya..."

• always holding your hand or hugging you, he's such a touchy guy. (Though if your not very comfortable with it at first definitely gets the memo)

• loves it when you two are cuddling in a position that your holding him by your chest, he melts into a puddle when you kiss him.

• he's a bit shy at first. It's mostly the shock of how you actually are his partner, and he's not dreaming. His past relationships haven't exactly been... Yeah. but, after a couple of months of dating, he's more carefree and confident with you.

• he loves giving you random stuff.

"Here...its uh, dandelion. I found it while I was out on a walk. It reminded me of you."

"I got you this sweater I saw. I thought ya might like it."

"Hey roo, I got you these bracelets. I... got some for me, too. We could...match."

• his favourite activity with you is to stargaze up on his camper van, cuddling as you two ramble about your days while also imagining what's out in that huge space in the sky.

you two would make up fake names for the stars, he knows what they are called, but its cute to see you try and guess what they are.

• he's grown so used to being with you that on the nights you aren't together, he'd get so bummed out he'd even cry a little. He just misses you so much. He needs you.

• he loves showering and bathing with you. not anything sexual, but it's the fact it's such an intimate thing. It makes him so happy whenever you wash his hair or scrub his back, he's so peaceful with you.

ew he pisses in jars (I am so in love with him)

♡Soldier♡

• don't get me started on soldier

• the first start of the relationship, it actually goes smoother than you'd think. (Bro he pulled Zhanna after fucking her once he got that patriotic rizz)

• he's able to be cheesy and weirdly romantic because this man has no filter... He's honest, has a heart of gold, and is a man of many words.

• he takes you out on crazy dates, and loves to tell you about his adventures. he's a very loud guy, so expect tons of shouting from him.

• I'd say the only time he gets quiet or soft spoken is when you two are cuddling. He loves listening to you ramble or talk while you two are cuddling. Holding you so gently as you're going on about your day makes him feel so proud you have such trust in him to be so vulnerable, to be yourself.

• he's a sweet guy. He really is. Yes, his gifts can be a bit... unique. but he's just a dumb goofball who's incredibly in love with you.

• There might be some bumps in your relationship, but it's normal. He's just a bit far off on boundaries and general stuff about not yelling at everybody in public while on a date, but yk he'll learn sooner or later.

• he loves to pepper you with kisses, and loves it more when he can make you laugh. he'd do anything to make you smile, whether it's telling funny stories or tickling you, he loves your laugh.

whenever you smile, he melts a bit, and you're the apple to his eye.

• he really doesn't want to be sad around you and stuff, usually being a bit distant whenever he is genuinely feeling down. But when you smile up at him with such determination after a bad match... He quickly goes back into being tough and charasmatic soldier!!

Your his motivation S/O, don't underestimate that. He loves you so much that he'd fight the universe for you.

• also loves hand holding. he loves to play with your fingers sometimes, feeling how soft they are against his rough skin. If you cup his face, he will melt.

It seems you're the only one who can truly get into his defences, but he's quite happy about it.

I love him he's so fucking underrated like bro is my type I sjdjfjf SOLDIER!!! my beloved

♡Demo♡

one of his parts have SLIGHT NSFW!!!!!!!!! be warned bro😨😨

• djejdjfjfjfjrkekdjfjfjfjgkkg bro got me smiling like an idiot fr

• he loves you so much. sometimes when you two are alone together you can just catch him with love hearts in his eye, his goofy smile making you giggle.

"What? What is it?"

"Nothin...yer just perfect, dearie."

(I wish he was real so bad)

• buys you anything you want, and takes you out on lavish dinners. Always makes sure your happy and comfortable with him.

• when he's super drunk he purposely goes to you so thay you can take care of him, and when you do he's just flirting the entire time. (nsfw implications below)

"Woahhhhh there sweetie... your -hic- fingers ahre sooh sohft...."

"Haha, thank you Tavish."

"Ah wonder how thheyd feel wrapped around-mmy cock..."

'WHAAATTDIDHESAYYYY'

"HUH-"

He'd then burst out laughing at your shocked expression, laughing and pointing at your face as you shake your head, blush forming ever so slightly. Mans a fuckin tease.

• overall, he's such a sweetheart. He'd be such a good listener and would always cuddle you whenever he can. He LOVES kissing you, leaving kisses all over your body, marking them up while he memorizies each individual pattern you may have.

• he loves to shower with you also, not being able to resist kissing your back as scrubs and soaps your body.

• definitely compliments you atleadt 5 times a day. corny ahh

bro got that cyclops rizz 😂😂 (I would do things to this man)

♡Heavy♡

HEY BABES I have just been reminded that some of the russian words I use are wrong so IM VERY SORRY PLEASE IGNORE IF YOU ARE SLAVIC OH MY GOD 😭😭😭

• HEHEHEHEHSHHEHHEH hevy wepen gai...

• he loves to make you poems in Russian, and if you happen to translate them, he'd get overly shy when you bring them up or compliment them.

"Baby, I read your poem for me...it was so sweet. I loved it."

"Oh...um..yes. I am glad." Secretly freaking out and is literally screaming inside

• bro would be the type to cook for you everyday and insist on it. bro would be the type to hug you while he swings you in the air happily. bro be the type to be so in love with you thay he blushes and smiles at every little sweet compliment you give him bevause he feels so blessed to be with you.

• he loves to cuddle with you. feeling you on top of him, hugging him tightly as you sigh lovingly...it makes him melt.

• he calls you nicknames in Russian, like дорогая / дорогой which can mean dearest or darling, пупсик which is kitty, and would definitely call you мишка / мишок which means mouse. Yes, he chooses this because you are smaller in comparison to him. Plus I heard myshka is a very common petname in Russia so hehe (do correct me if I'm wrong tho)

• his favorite thing to do with you is probably cooking. if you suck at it he will teach you slowly, and encourage you even if it comes out wrong. if your good, he will ask if you'd like to cook with him more.

• I don't see him as somebody who cares much for physical touch, but I can see him loving acts of service with you and quality time. (Like engie!)

• so you two usually go out a lot, whether it's just hanging out together near the base or out on a nice beach date, he'll enjoy it as long as you are too.

• he loves to hold your hand tho. the size difference is adorable to him :)

(Also not saying reader is small and petite or anything heavy is a generally big guy, you'd probably still he smaller than him if you were bulky or fat.)

• he'd also read to you in Russian. do you understand? No not really. But his voice is so comforting, it's easy for you to fall asleep.

• overall, just a pretty calm guy. loves to cook, loves to read, loves to write you corny stuff, and sometimes would teach you Russian if you'd like to learn. (If your slavic then he's happy!!!)

also sorry his is shorter, I just don't have much for him at the moment :)

♡Medic♡

• like soldier and scout, your relationship is a bit bumpy at first. he has a lot of stuff he needs to work with, and he's not a very sympathetic person, so dealing with fights (if you ever have any) can be difficult.

• but after a while, he's learned to be a more affectionate and understanding partner.

• he's a sweetheart.

• whenever you visit him in his medbay while he's overworking himself, you just always manage to convince him to take a break. How could he deny you, your his love after all.

• to be honest he's really romantic sometimes.

• he'd call you sweet nicknames and would gently caress your cheek, admiring your eyes before placing a gentle kiss to your sweet lips.

"Mein gott liebling, you are truly zhe fascinating person I've ever had zhe pleasure of meeting."

• he'd ramble about his experiments to you, and whenever one is successful, your the first one he tells and his excitement is through the roof. But what makes it better is how you'd be so proud and happy for him, cheering for him and going to see his creation with him.

"Babe, that's so cool!! I'm so happy for you, this looks awesome."

"Thank you mein schatz, zhat...means a lot."

He's genuinely so enamored by your kind and endearing personality it stuns him sometimes.

• smiles like a goof whenever you leave him forehead or cheek kisses. Especially when you've come to check up on him and bring him his coffee, telling him how much you love him and then reminding him to take a break.

My god, he's constantly thinking about you.

• he'd ramble to his doves about you, and to be a little silly for you, he'd make them send you various letters throughout the day to be corny.

• he loves it when you respond to the letters or even talking to him about it and laughing. usually he won't ever do this, but he'd do it if it meant you'd laugh.

• when he's frustrated after a long day on the battlefield, please just hold him and let him rant about it, he doesn't need a logical solution he's just sorta tired.

Though, after you comfort and kiss him, he just smiles at you and thanks you, letting himself melt into your touch with how content he feels.

doctors with no license hmu

♡ END ♡

bro this took so long to write that my hands are so sweaty?? yes, I write on my phone I don't have a laptop (I wish I did tho writing would be much much easier) if there are any errors don't comment on it please I spent an hour writing this and I haven't drunk water in a while LMFAOOO did this bitch innone go

Anyways hope you enjoyed!! Again, reposts are greatly appreciated and would help my growth a lot.

If you have any requests feel free to put them in my inbox!! And as always, I hope you had a wonderful day. xoxo, crab :•) ♡

[canonically47]

evil version of that previous anon: and what were your LEAST favorite parts of each of those seasons?

sorry i got to this so late! buuut

total drama

season 1: leshawna's elimination. just... utter bullshit. closely followed by geoff's. also utter bullshit. in fact heather's whole plot armor was meh

season 2: sorry guys but courtney's entire arc. i can't stand her in TDA. she's meh to okay at best in TDI and fine until the gwuncan stuff in TDWT, after that i just can't even. she's so annoying sorry <//3

season 3: EZEKIEL'S MUTANT ARC COME ONNN MY MAN DESERVES BETTER LET HIM BE HAPPY FUCK YOU

season 4: the all-men finale. we should've gotten a zoey vs cameron finale. boo

season 5: the fact that it exists. i have so many problems with it, it's hard to narrow it down to just one single part i hated most, but there is one! i hated how every character was dumbed down. heather just telling alejandro she had the idol. alejandro just telling mal he had proof he was evil. many eliminations. the fact that the final five was... well, that. but most, i hated mal's arc and how mike was 'cured' of DID by pressing a button. i won't speak much on it since it's nowhere near my expertise nor business as a singlet but i would imagine that is. not how it fucking works. at all and just such a sad sterotyped thing to add an eViL alter to the poor guy just to give him more substance. plus i've discussed this with a mutual before but mal just feels like max taken seriously by the narrative. yeah i hate this season there's a reason it gets trampled in my fic

season 6: there was so much potential for max to be a hero and stand up to scarlett. like. so much. i love him he deserved better. that's not the worst tho and if you're new here let me tell you I FUCKING HATE DAVE. OKAY. i have a BIG issue with that guy which is half because he reminds me of some asshole i know irl and half because he just fucking sucks. i don't get any dave ship, any dave love, anything at all. there is nothing to like about him. he is genuinely one of the very few total drama characters that i can't even make up the substance he lacks. just. fuck dave

season 7 (RR): the daters and best friends fell so flat for me in different ways. the daters were just so annoying and i couldn't have been happier at their elimination. the best friends just felt so forced to me. i mean i'm also a romance-repulsed(-ish, not always, it's complicated) aromantic but oh my goddd... they dragged on for sooo loooongggggggg

season 8: the jurasic fart episode. also how chase treated emma. again fuck these allos /j

season 9: PRILEB. OKAY LISTEN. i fucking LOVE prileb BUT i also fucking HATEEE them. they could've been so good if priya was just eliminated earlier. caleb could've had more to him than priya's misunderstood boyfriend, he could've made alliances and friends, but noooo just give him an entire miscommunication arc FUCK YOU yeah prileb could've been so good if it was good (total drama catchphrase)

disventure camp

season 1: fiore's betrayal to alec felt like terrible writing to me and i'll still stand by that. a character like fiore needs more than one side and alec was that other, softer, caring side. and they threw it all away for shock value! <//3 i really hope these two make up :( i miss them so much. oh also the downfall of tomjake like what the fuck happened oh my

season 2: some challenges were... creepy and weird to say the least. spin the wheel to see who to kiss? my aro ass could never. and when kristal indirectly outed aiden during the dares challenge? like, this yo host? trevor would never <3

season 3: whatever the fuck riya and connor, as well as tom and jake, as well as ally and hunter, as well as- FUCK IT WHATEVER THE FUCK THE COUPLES HAVE GOING ON. YES ALL OF THEM EXcept gabellie. keep going my loves you're doing great

[buttahpie]

god the previous chapter of Magnolia hit me right in the feelings - the emotional happiness, it was such a feel-good chapter with Ringo, John and Paul jamming together, it felt so right... and then the end hit me with thousands bricks, omg it was so sad!!

this chapter... my goddd that was sizzling, absolutely one of the top John & Paul smut scenes I've ever read, it just literally hit all spots?? (of course some other spot of that doe-eyed twink can be hit I bet)

gooodness, I imagined it all so clearly in my head, osjfakf it was so good! you really describe John and Paul the way I see them, and it makes the fic one of my absolute favorites. And then the ending was so sad again I cried! You truly put your readers through the emotional rollercoaster, I love u

I haven't even watched Groundhog Day, but I'm so invested, it's crazy

sorry for this jumbled mess of the review, I wish I could give your fic a million kudos more because I love it so much!

WOWOWOW I LOVE YOU!!

🥹

it means so much to me that people are so invested in Magnolia!! I love you all so much! It means so much to hear these things!

Also it’s SUCH a relief that you think my J&P are in character! This is literally like the first beatles fic i’ve ever written because I’ve always held myself back from writing about real people cause they are real! and they are complex! and they have legit personalities and you can’t just head canon them like you can fictional characters! So i put a LOT of thought and time into my characterizations of john and paul. also i had a lot of help from @johangeorghohman who beta read and helped me understand the direction I was taking the bugs!

Also i’m happy you liked the smut 😈 i’m literally crazy about those two they are so sexy to me. i am fascinated by the intricacies of their relationship both in the fic and irl. the psychosexual nature and possessive qualities that john and paul shared irl literally make my gears GRIND!

there will be plenty more smut… don’t worry ;))

also— i haven’t seen groundhog day in literal years (although i LOVE it). the premise is the only thing based off of GHD, so you really don’t need to watch it to understand anything! BUT Groundhog day IS inspired by “The Strange life of Ivan Osokin” which is obviously where I got my rules for time travel from and it’s also where GHD got their rules from!

Kloveyoubye!

[butchybats]

I GOT YOU

lesbian DM thoughts

armand taking care of daniel during her period every month 🥹 letting daniel drink a little more of her blood than she usually does for strength and to help with her cramps orgasms also help with cramps

daniel isn't very feminine but armand is and she loves to look dolled up especially because she spent so many years wasting away underground. so sometimes when armand gets a bit sad and listless, daniel will bathe her, do her hair for her in either a pretty bun or a french braid, do her makeup very carefully (daniel never cared about this stuff before but she taught herself just for armand okay!)

idk if you know her but the very first supermodel was a woman named gia carangi in the 70s and 80s and her and her girlfriend are my reference for lesbian!devil's minion LOL I CAN'T LINK IN HERE BUT THIS IS THEM ESPECIALLY THE LAST TWO PICS https://reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/s/jeEgrXjLPC

hope your day/night gets better friend 💖

TYSM FOR THE ASK <33

• caretaking is one of my favorite tropes ever idc what universe it is in I will always be thinking about them taking care of each other especially in terms of illness/injury (which really would only be armand helping daniel but we can get funky with the rules <3)

okay back to periods though, I am so so convinced that Armand would coddle the hell out of Daniel!!! She is wrapped up in blankets on the couch with a big bottle of midol and her choice of drink on the side table and Armand is more than happy to give her the blood and rub her back and cuddle her and give her girl whatever she needs 🥹

And as you said orgasms are great painkillers!!! Listen literally the first prompt I ever saw on priapus was r63 devil’s minion period sex. Which I have tried writing something for like four times but am never happy with it anyway the possibilities are endless for that oh my goddd you just know that Armand would be insatiable acting like she hasn’t fed in weeks <3

• I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU!!!!!!! They are so butch/femme to me!!!!! Going to sob over the idea of Daniel bathing Armand, she’d bust out all the especially fancy expensive products and be so painstakingly thorough in washing her and then drying her off and massaging her with lotion… wailing 😭🥹. Genuinely I think there is so much romance/love in doing something for your partner particularly if it’s not your thing so I think Daniel taking the time to learn hairstyles and makeup to pamper Armand would really hit her right in the heart! They have a very sappy and emotional night over Armand’s spa treatment

• I DID NOT KNOW THIS THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME <3 Gia… wow I can see why she was the first supermodel! I’m. Jgvjgvhg yeah I’m very onboard for this LMAO but like omg it’s literally them that’s such a great face claim!!!

Thank you for the dm content and the kind wishes!! 💜🫂

[rowarn]

ugh ro i know ive only known ur acc for like a month but u have no idea how much ur writing has like.. IMPACTED ME BRO like the fic I found u through was that simon fic 'take what you need' (very underappreciated) and i actually lost ur account for a bit and was super sad bc I couldn't find the fic BUT I FOUND U AGAIN AND I WAS SO HAPPY and this new story.... GODDDS ROW how do u just hit every spot correcrly like... ur writing is genuinely AMAZING like i was AMAZED okay. like....UGFHHHFHF i cant even put it into proper words i just have ti say like OsoanwisossjsnwjwkwkwIWJSJZJNSNSBSBZBBSJAJQKQK like thats how i felr during it. u are genuinely an amazing writer. sorry if this is too.much but i just HAD to show my appreciation u literally deserve so much more.

AHH WELCOME BACK IM SO GLAD U FOUND ME AGAIN!!! take what u need is underrated but it was my first Full Fic for cod so i get it!!! it was mostly just self indulgent tbh HEHE

AND OMG UR TOO KIND 🥹 i simply write what i would like to see in fics bc i made this blog to feed myself im just glad there's so many ppl who r interested in reading the same shit i do!!!! i am shaking everyone's hands we r all just silly little hurt/comfort maniacs i fear !!!!

and thank u so much for the kind words it's never too much!!! hearing such nice things about my writing makes me feel much more confident to keep going hehe i still get so nervous when i post and worry everyone will hate it HAHA

[mebiselfandi]

i hope this is not gonna annoy you but i was reading your rant about your writing and i was like😔 because goddd i adore them so much the way you write them characters, dialogues or try to explain how they feel in such situations always make me😞 even when you write smut bc dang do you know how much i reread strawberries and cream (it should be illegal) it just the way you always portray them so beautifully it's crazy (like how did u make c*m eating so sweet i cried and horny everytime i remembered that) also i sent this ask bc i just remember your newest neymessi fic and I'm devastated thinking at the possibility of you deleting that work bc goddd i remember the first time i read it i was crying so hard literally need to weep the tears out so i can read the next paragraph and then after I'm done i was pacinf around my room thinking about the next chapter bc u tagged it as it will be sweeter and how i was just so excited to read that bc if i have to live with the possibility of them just ending like that and not talk it out and have a heavy makeout session after just throw me to the ponds full off crocodiles in florida it would hurts less, you make me so attached to these characters that the possibility of neymar hurting bc leo leaving him after the heart wrenching love confession makes me☹️☹️☹️

i hope you'll find your joy and to not feel pressured to writing again because you have such a talent and i will always be happy to read every works you put, finally just wanted to say so glad to have such a talented writer in this fandom🫶🏼

Hi nonnie👋💕

When I got your ask I was like hm what’s this? Only to be hit straight in the feels with a truckload of bricks. ‘Annoy’ me you say. Something like this could never annoy me. This was legit me reading your ask holding back tears:

Tbh I was in a massive writing slump since like end of April. Idk what happened. I got a lil sad, then sick, then even more sad, then my birthday came up, then I got burnt out, next thing I knew it was June and my writing skills just switched off. Nothing all of May(except that one fic I barely remember writing while sick and fueled purely by spite). So when I wrote the last Neymessi fic, I was like not doing great at all. But idk I felt like I had to write something and the idea had been swimming in my head. But writing too sad fics when you’re already sad just = feeling shit about your work. Plus I felt so bad about writing, I thought it would be my last fic ever.

But I mean now I’m no longer feeling weird about writing and I can see the fic from an objective pov. I made a ton of typos and used the same words like twice in one sentence and just cringe phrasings. I could’ve done it better. However, I managed to write 4000 words when I thought I couldn’t. So I won’t delete it cause I can be at least proud of that fact. Also I’m not a quitter, if I delete the fic, the knowledge will haunt me forever. But I will be writing the second chap and I have ideas.

Now I feel kinda bad about it cause I know I said chap 2 will be sweeter buuuut I think it might still be sad. But only because I wanna write a 3rd chapter which will be sweeter. However keyword is sweeter…not sweet. Uh it’ll be a bittersweet ending cause either way Leo’s still leaving but I could never bring my heart to be entirely miserable like that. So don’t worry, it’ll end wellness 😌 but chap 2 is mostly just gonna be Leo’s pov and thoughts then chap 3 will be them finally talking after we hear what Leo’s thinking.

Also…about strawberries and cream though I logged into my ao3 for the first time a couple weeks yesterday and I was so shocked? Last I checked it was at 400 now it’s almost doubled😭😭 I’m so shook. But I’m glad you liked strawberries and cream. It’s one of my fave fics I wrote too.

You’re so sweet anon🥹🥹 like not to be like annoying about comments or wtv. But it always helps to know there is someone who likes your story and you aren’t just writing to the air. And to know I made you react so strongly to it is insane to me. But seriously, thank you so much for this, I’m legit gonna think of this message whenever I feel like I can’t write🫶

[peaky-shelby]

Despair in the Departure Lounge

He's pining for her

In a people carrier

There might be buildings and pretty things to see like that

But architecture won't do

Although it might say a lot about the city or town

I don't care what they've got, keep on turning 'em down

It don't say the funny things she does

Don't even try and cheer him up, because

It just won't happen

He's got the feeling again

This time on the aeroplane

There might be tellys in the back of the seats in front

But Rodney and Del won't do

Although it might take your mind off the aches and the pains

Laugh when he falls through the bar

But you're feeling the same

'Cause she isn't there to hold your hand

She won't be waiting for you when you land

It feels like she's just nowhere near

You could well be out on your ear

This thought comes closely followed by the fear

And the thought of it makes you feel a bit ill

Yesterday, I saw a girl who looked like someone you might knock about with

And almost shouted

And then reality kicked in within us

It seems as we become the winners

You lose a bit of summat

And half wonder if you won it at all

And don't say 'owt 'cause you've got no idea

And she's still nowhere near

And the thought comes closely followed by the fear

And the thought of it

Makes you feel a bit ill

Despair in the departure lounge

Is one and they'll still be around at three

No signal and low battery

What's happened to me?

😢😢😢

Well that shit’s depressing. Literally Kylian’s POV. Especially the part where he sings about how being successful means giving up/losing something important that you cant replace which makes him wonder if he has truly won after all. That shit is heavy.

This is not Kylian’s song when Taylor goes back to England. Taylor is not going back to England. This is Kylian’s song when he leaves PSG and Taylor for Real Madrid to achieve his dreams. It’s literally perfect. This is the song when he’s on his private plane to Madrid and they are over the city and his agent is telling him about the architectures and how beautiful the city looks below them. And kylian mind is somewhere else. He is not thinking of the city below him. He is thinking of Paris and how beautiful his city looks like from above. Especially at night. He is thinking of Taylor and how beautiful she looks like. Especially at night. And he knows that when he lands, Taylor is not waiting for him. And and and oh my goddd he has this sinking feeling that he is losing her. That he has lost her. And it’s that sinking feeling that makes you panic a bit, that makes you want to throw up. But he is Kylian Mbappe. He is the best player in the world. He has a destiny to fulfill, a legacy to make and therefore he must play in the biggest club in the world. And he is heartbroken but also this is the very thing he has been working on since he started playing football as a child. This is his dream. Or is it? Is it really?Or is the girl he left in Paris his new dream? When did his dream change? When did his dream became more than football? Oh my godjsjsjsjdjd im crying? He’s supposed to be happy and he is but also he is so fucking sad. So fucking lonely and heartbroken and scared. Scared that he is going to regret this. Scared that he does not know what he is doing. Scared to find out what’s out there. He tries to keep a brave face. A smile. His family watches him. His mom notices something is off. She reaches for his hand to ask and Kylian squeezes it as if to say “Dont worry mom. I’m fine. I got this. I wont let you down.” He needs to fulfill his destiny here. This is what he is supposed to do. This is what is expected of him. So he gathers himself together. Take a deep breath gets himself ready for the cameras and people waiting for him as soon as he lands.

Fuuuuvkkkkkkk uuuu anon. This got me fcked up!!!!! Stop ruining my week! PSG has done enough damage already! 😫😫😫😩🥺😢😭😩😤🥺😢😫😫😫😫😢😭😭😢😫😫😩😫😫😩😫😫😫😭😭😭😖😣😖😟😔😣😔😞😭🥺😩😫😭😢😩😫

You wanna write the sequel to New Romantics bc damn this shit fucked me up too 😭😭😭 good job anon 😭😭

[bonesandthebees]

I know ive already talked about a dusty tomb but like BRO i need to talk about it again but this time more emotional bc like snfnfmdmsbmfsoehfkfkb [combusts]

It is my comfort fic

Like out of allll the fics i have saved as my comfort fic, it's honestly the most? Efficient? If that makes sense

I click my speeddial button, scroll to the end of the fic (or when sbi first meet, depends on my mood) and then BAM, instant serotonin

Often the fics i love for comfort are hurt comfort, which makes reading them when Im sad a risky move, and i end up making myself more sad than not 😭

And ofc, i have pure fluff fics too, but they never hit as hard as your writing does, i dunno

Also literally it's so quick too, i just read like 2 sentences and im like "damn okay, got my sandduo fix for the day. I am happ now"

A dusty tomb is so simple, yet so effective, and it's just honestly really cute without being super cheesy and aaaa i love it sm and tysm for writing it cause it's honestly like one of the things that helps me the most rn whenever im sad, besides yknow, healthy coping mechanisms LMAOO, dont worry i gen do those too, but sometimes u just need a quick read before bed. Which yeahhh the amount of times ive read it to help me sleep... it's not even that old of a fic 😭

Wait.

IT'S FROM FEBRUARY?@,#?$(@;$($(*#

.

I thought it came out in may WTF

What...

Okayyy, existential crisis about time aside, it's a good fic. A really good fic. Genuinely one of my fav fics ever (tho i feel like i wanna reread the clinic prequel ngl... that was my go to comfort fic before a dusty tomb came around. I havent read that one in awhile). I just love fantasy aus so much, more than any other au, and goshhh it has all the best tropes in it and and and and *dies*

I dont think I'll ever get bored of this fic, considering it's been out for 4 months, and it still feels fresh to me

Goddd, dust!sandduo u guys live rent free in my mind, twinsduo and emduo too. I love them all so much :( honestly that techno is sooo <33 can he give me a hug pls, i feel like he'd be a good hugger

Anyways im off to sleep now or well maybe reread the clinic prequel fic ehehehehe god i love that fic so much (u have no idea how many times ive reread that... too many times... it actually makes me Insane)

aaa this is so sweet!! tbh I loved writing dusty tomb so much. it was so out of the blue and unplanned, but it was so sweet and i had a ton of fun with the world itself too

I'm so glad it's your comfort fic. I have those fics too where I just open them up and go to a specific part to reread just to get all those fuzzy feelings whenever I need a pick me up. It makes me so happy to know my fic is that for you.

one of these days I'll write another one shot in that universe.... maybe... probably not tbh but the idea is there

(also i love dust!techno too he's so fun)

(and the clinic prequel aaaa underrated personal fav of mine)

[fandom-hoarder]

copy/pasting my live react i sent to @cordellwinchesterwalker

Watching TWin now. The opening has nice vibes but now I'm on the johnmary meetcute and it's...awk af

Goddd this girl's face is just claire i cannot 

John and mom are ok so far. Nothin to write home about 

This scene transition into the demon fight was sooo anticlimactic wtf

Ok i am SERIOUSLY side eyeing Mary's ability with demons. I feel like i need to watch the spn flashbacks again

Whyyyy is mary giving up all this fucking expositionnnnn 

Why would you have an anti possession medallion that you have to HOLD instead of having it on your person on a necklace or something? Ffs🤦‍♀️

WHY are they introducing a scar we have never heard of before? We have SEEN John's arms

Goddd did the writers base mary on reincarnated mary and not watch the fucking flashbacks?

Why is the pacing boring af

John is not reading like a former marine that signed up illegally at all. A draftee that never wanted to go, maybe

Ohhh god it's the demon part from the trailer lmfao whyyyyy

I was sincerely hoping that was a thing that got cut for tone omg

At least they took out that ridiculous scooby reaction shot

But WHY THE FUCK would carlos have a newbie read the fucking exorcism?? It's not a normal thing to know how to fucking pronounce

I kinda like carlos just as a character and I'm on board for john/carlos already...

Sighhhhh not just the slutty bi stereotype but the flippant kind that can't be bothered to care about the other people they're slutting with? This is Not On. Make the slutty bi poly and compassionate i am fucking BEGGING people

Got a text from Jpop to stop yelling :/

This expositionnnnn is soooo ridiculously funny to me lmao 

Is this accent for Latika the actress' real accent 🤔

Ok Carlos has had the best lines so far

"The only thing worse than how it starts for a hunter is how it ends"

Unfortunately i like Carlos' van a lot

Lol john/latika fakeout PUH-lease. AU where no one gets together how they're supposed to 

So are they insinuating samuel knew about the fucking mol and never said anything or even looked for their compound while working with crowley? 🙄

Indiana jones vibes

Lmfao a commercial started as soon as the monster showed up but was that the afanc from bbc merlin lmao 

Lmao already with the self sacrificing... first marine behavior 

Convenient silver in his arm lmao

Plot twist: john becomes a loup-garou cuz he gets blood in his mouth

(Can't remember the lore rn)

(NOT THAT IT MATTERS HERE LOLOLOL)

So John's MOM knew too???? Wtf IS this?? I NEED more than the promise that everything will make sense by the end. I NEED THEM TO SAY SIKE THIS IS AU

I AM REBELLING AGAINST SWEETENED COFFEE JOHN. IF THAT'S WHAT HE DRANK SO WOULD DEAN AND SAM WOULD'NT EVEN IF HE HATED BLACK

IS JOHN SWITCHING TO BLACK COFFEE PART OF HIS CHARACTER'S JOURNEY😏😏😏

Goddddd PLEASE why does the styling look like 90s "retro 70s" fashion

Hahhhh ok, dean voice actually sounded like dean voice this time and thank fuck they didn't have that awful windy hair shot where he's unrecognizable. His gaze at the samulet-- i was expecting but OHH??? SO SAD LOOKING

I am making a HUGE LEAP here but what if sammy is missing and that's the only reason dean is trying to find out what happened lolol the akrida have him

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

YAYAYAA AKI ANGST no cus ur so right every single time i see him when i open photos i just. start bawling my eyes out he makes me so sad but i love him sm <33 ive only ever posted one thing but i’m planning on writing aki… i just NEED to write him correctly bc i need to portray him properly or else i’ll rip my hair out he is my #1 and i am his

my csm favs r aki and yoshida !!! i love my dark haired men sm but i also like reze and that flamethrower hybrid or whatever that showed up for like three chapters .. i also have an attachment to the hayakawa family in general i miss them so much

NO FR PHSJGSHHS no fictional man makes me weep the way aki does……. some of them come close but. hes just so tragic its insane to me !! im obsessed w him.

AND I GET U I RLY DO….. there r so many wips i have where im like. Would He Say That…… w aki i feel like i wouldnt be able to rest until his characterization is Perfect. phshhdj. good luck w writing him!! i def wanna check out ur fics when i get the time aaaa

AND… MWAH💋to ur taste. so so valid. yoshi is one of my faves too!! n reze!!! AND GODDD THE HAYAKAWA FAM….. the chokehold they have on me……… my faves overall r aki/makima/denji/kishibe but like. the hayakawas r my absolute beloveds i miss them every single day

[giraffles]

Hellbent

iiiit’s day two! I’ve actually been working this for a while, but finished it up for this week. \o/ today’s prompt is “favorite battle” so how about a BATTLE OF CONFLICTING EMOTIONS. it starts silly but gets feels-y, sorry. 

prompt that inspired this is here and from the lovely @writing-challenges-and-prompts​

this is set in the modern AU/Lights Will Guide You series!

Hellbent - (Young!Harlock/Warrius Zero)

"We're just friends." Harlock deadpans.

"Friends don't kiss." Kei counters, and she's not entirely wrong.

you can also read it here on AO3! 

"We're just friends." Harlock deadpans. "Friends don't kiss." Kei counters, and she's not entirely wrong. "Some friends do. Like the kinds with benefits." Kei is not amused. It shows in the way her dark eyes glare at him, and the unusual force she puts into organizing the papers on her desk. If he didn't know her better, he might have thought her jealous; but Harlock is very, very aware of her preferences for partners, and they don't include sulky ex-Navy men. "I don't trust him," She says at length, "I don't trust any of them as far as I can throw 'em." In some ways that's a roundabout compliment. Kei Yūki may look sweet and possess a slight figure, but he's seen her take down fighters twice her size. And while outnumbered. So really, she could throw them all pretty far, Zero included. And she's not a force to be taken lightly, like a storm at sea, waiting to sink ships and sink hearts. The two of them aren't related by blood, but sometimes he wonders if she isn't another long lost sibling. Kei is overly cautious from being burned one too many times. He can't say he blames her. The world is already cold and cruel, and it's done a number on all of them. She doesn't often share what happened to her in the period between running away from home and meeting up with the Arcadia crew, and he's not one to press her for details. But he knows enough to realize it wasn't pretty and it wasn't kind. So Kei has good reason to be suspicious of anyone who hasn't gained her respect, and it's a hard thing to earn her trust. The only reason she's here in the first place is because Harlock asked her to be. "Tori likes him," Harlock mentions, "I'd say that's a good litmus test." She shoots him an incredulous look. "That's a terrible example. That bird doesn't even like you." "He likes me enough," Though really, that was only because he fed the dumb parrot, "That totally counts." "What on earth are the two of you arguing about?" Marina materializes out of nowhere, a startling and all too common habit of hers. She comes armed with what look like case files, petty grievances they'll need to take care of if they want to keep their jobs. Before he can come up with an excuse for her, Kei is already counting mutiny. "Someone has been kissing the commander in the fire escape." When she put it that way, it made it sound like they were a couple of teenagers skulking around for kicks. Which, maybe wasn't that untrue, but that didn't mean she had to tell Marina of all people. The one person there who had known Zero the longest, who wasn't often found far from his side, and who always managed to look stunning regardless of the situation. Delivering mission briefings or breaking noses, she never faltered or lost her composure.  "Oh, is that all?" Marina's voice rang true and calm, yet there was an edge of ice to it, "Anyway, look into these security breaches. We need to know how deep they've gone." Then Marina sweeps away, leaving without another word like a receding tide, barely sparing them a glance. Kei throws her hands up. He shrugs. "You trust me, don't you?" He counters, knowing it's a little unfair to pull that card, because she's never been anything less than devoted, "I know what I'm doing. Relax." Kei grumbles something along the lines of 'I don't know why any of us bother with you', and his phone pings that a new email has come through. It's a very specific notification, reserved for anything from the government server they're all wired into, and he frowns when he sees it's from the same M. Oki who was just talking with them. She's also only a few yards off, there's no reason she needs to be messaging him when she can communicate in person like a rational human. He flicks the email open. It's a curt correspondence, no introduction or signature, just her name attached to the top and his in the receiving field. <If you hurt him, there will be consequences.> Few people can get away with threatening Harlock so openly. There are fewer people who legitimately terrify him. Marina is very close to the top of both lists. "What is it?" Kei asks. "It's nothing," Only quite possibly the shortest and most direct shovel speech he's ever gotten, "We should be working." "You never want to work." She points out, but lets the subject go. He doesn't dare look in Marina's direction. Really, he's not sure how much of a secret it all should or shouldn't be; Zero can be so prickly on a good day, to the point that it's hard to decipher between the officer's normal personality or if he's being an ass on purpose. He's so flighty for someone with a reputation for being loyal and steadfast, shying away even behind closed doors and hidden from prying eyes. He's not even sure where the two of them even stand at this point, if there should be labels involved or it's better to keep it off-brand for now. (Fraternization laws probably don't apply in this case, even if they did, he'd ignore them anyway, because to hell with that.) And yet kissing him is so good that Harlock couldn't resist catching him by the back door that morning. Which of course was when Kei wandered by, nearly choking herself to death on her coffee when she saw them. He's probably lucky Zero didn't pitch him out the nearest window for that one. It's not like it had been on purpose, and they were all bound to find out eventually. It's impossible not to, when they're working and living in such close proximity to each other. And they're glorified experts in espionage, for crying out loud, he could find out everyone's favorite color and childhood pet in twenty minutes if he put his mind to it. If he was really determined, he could probably find every dark and embarrassing secret of every person in a five mile radius, and the whole city if Kei and Ishikura helped. So how were they supposed to keep a relationship of all things under wraps, under the noses of individuals trained to sniff out deceptions and half-truths? Only an idiot would try. Or, someone so stubborn and deep in denial that they ran the risk of drowning. Fucking Zero. Harlock had taken a calculated risk with him, when he had asked for his handler to be the same agent who had spent years trying to bring him to justice, but he hadn't expected this. Because, maybe, he hadn't planned on an infatuation, or half jokingly flirting with him, which  may have turned into whatever it is that they've been avoiding talking about. It wasn't Harlock's fault that he was stuck living with someone who was so accidentally attractive. (Except, it was his own damn fault, and now he had to deal with the consequences.) It started as just a way to pass the time, an exercise in seeing how he could get under his keeper's skin, and now he's fallen. Hard. This wasn't part of the plan. None of this was part of the plan. Not that the plan had been fool proof, or even fully baked by the time Harlock had put it in motion. Its still a vague sort of idea, floating about with loose strings he's tying together on the fly, but it had worked out so far. Mostly. Present situation not included. But the plan comes first, it always come first, because he'd die before he'd let a vow go unfulfilled. Even if it was hard to come to terms with the fact that they would eventually be jumping ship, slipping back into the sea once they'd gotten what they came for. What Arcadia members are on this team may not know exactly what's going on, but they're smart enough to realize they're all acting the parts the government wants them to until they're ready to bail, a deception and treason of the highest order. He never said he was an honest man. Harlock sinks low in the office chair.   This would have been easier without lingering attachments. And yet had made them anyway, like the idiot he was, repeating the same mistakes over and over again. You would think he would have learned by now, but there was still that stubborn part of him that was a hopeless romantic. At least it would be good while it lasted. Marina couldn't kill him if she couldn't find him. 

On his way to the vending machine, Zero ambushes him. Which would have been great if it was for some midday fooling around, but instead Harlock has a snarling totally-not-a-boyfriend to appease. "Who did you tell?" Zero growls. "I didn't tell anyone!" "Bullshit." This is it. This is how he dies. In a back closet of an undisclosed office somewhere within the greater-Boston area. There are worse ways to go, and Harlock always knew he'd kick off young, but it's a little disappointing that it won't be in a blaze of glory. It really isn't fair. "I swear to god it wasn't me," He pleads, "If anything, it was Kei." She probably doesn't deserve to be thrown under the tracks like that, but at the same time, she had started it. If he's going to die then he's not going down alone. And technically he hadn't breathed a word of anything; that had been other people's doing. Zero looks both indescribably livid and so very tired. "I hate you. I hate you both," Zero bites out, "You're the worst." Before Harlock can come up with a defense, or a snappy reply, Zero is kissing him. It's not where he expected things to go, but he's not going to complain either. Zero is hellbent on taking every piece of his being and spinning it upside down, even if that defies logic, because it's alway been Harlock who's taken people on rides. Although, none of those had worked out very well in the end, so maybe it's just as well. This is better than any of them anyway. His hands curl in the front of that dumb Navy jacket Zero was always wearing so he can pull him closer, to cut his tongue on teeth. It's so easy to fall like this. It won't be easy to leave.

[noxtivagus]

this story

[idiopath-fic-smile]

oh, I love your music so much. My favorite is almost certainly Stay Safe, but I'd actually most love to hear commentary on the capsongs project! I’m Obsessed with the "real people writing fictional blog posts about fictional blog posts about real songs about fictional people" aspect of it, and the balance you struck with the low key academia vibe of it. You shared the last song but never wrote up a fake blog post for it (as far as I know), and I’m curious about if you'd had plans for what the history of that song would have been. Also just super curious in general how that specific context affected the songwriting itself!

aw thanks! and oh my goddd, i would love to chat about this!

so for anyone who doesn't know, in 2014, back when i was firmly on my Steve Rogers Bullshit, i got a little obsessed with the idea of Captain America as a contemporary symbol from World War 2 onward, the notion of how his story would be constantly framed and reframed and reframed as the story of America itself continued to be messy and contradictory. i wound up writing four and a half songs about it, and each song came with an elaborate backstory situating it at a particular historical moment. you can listen to the songs and read the lyrics here. (i didn't do anything to preserve the meta surrounding the songs because i started to feel like maybe it was a bit Much. your mileage may vary!)

"Take Up Your Shield, Steve Rogers!" (1952) was my attempt at a Woody Guthrie-style folk song, very much in the vein of "This Land is Your Land" where it's got a patriotic feel to it but if you pay attention to all the verses you realize A Criticism Has Been Made. In that case, the notion was a criticism of the Red Scare, with an added little jab at segregationists (the part noting that the Howling Commandos were integrated and everyone got equal pay). i very deliberately ended with the concept that someone else needs to pick up the shield, on an in-story level like "you should do it" and on a meta level, foreshadowing that Sam Wilson would ultimately pick up the mantle.

"Let Him Sleep" (1967) was going for, well, more of a sixties folk sound, and it played directly off a line in the previous song ("If he could see the things we’re doin’ in his name today / I think that boy would rather stay asleep") In fact I think writing that line was what made me realize this was gonna be a series, and not just a Woody Guthrie homage. in my mind, it's got killer harmonies but my writing brain doesn't generally work that way. Maybe obviously—it's criticizing the war in Vietnam.

"For the Crows" (1985) was my stab at Reagan-era paranoia, the notion that the government has been involved in something profoundly unsavory and the truth may fundamentally be unknowable. i grew up listening to Jackson Browne's 1986 album For America and that may be part of why i associate the 80's with conspiracy and political rage. I invented two fake bands for this one, I think, but I don't remember what they were. I think my notion was queer activists would be upset at the possibility that Steve Rogers was queer and the government had suppressed it. Or at the very least, that Steve Rogers' mainstream legacy had been sanitized and whitewashed to the point of incomprehensibility.

Finally, the song you actually asked about, "The Restless of New York" (2007). you're right, i don't think i ever did write any meta about this one. I wanted to write a more modern folk song but still set well before Steve Rogers was retrieved from the ice. The inspirations here were the band The Gaslight Anthem, the fact that at least some of the historic docks of NYC were literally torn down to build an IKEA, and gentrification. I imagined a tourist industry rising up around seeing "Steve Roger's New York" and how sad and almost ghoulish that would feel to people sensitive to the fact that we're talking about a real guy who died young, and one among many. I think it was also kind of me gently pushing at the whole concept of doing this in the first place—why do some stories get told over and over until they're unrecognizable, while some are never even recorded?

the line i am proudest of in this song is "that ain't how gone works."

(pretty sure i made the observation that steve rogers couldn't afford to live in modern brooklyn before marvel did but don't quote me on that.)

[existentialcrisis-servedhot]

thoughts and feelings on harry's house

music for a sushi restaurant: i think this is the opener because he wanted to give us an out. like this is what my album's gonna be, all instrumental and experimental and this is your last warning, get in or out. i think that's really clever and bold and it sort of feels like he's growing into himself

late night talking: i listened to it on coachella first lol so i don't have any fresh thoughts. this is classic harry though, making us believe this is a happy album for at least the next few minutes

grapejuice: no thoughts just vibes

as it was: it was such a great thing to release this as a single 'cause it lets you know where he is headaspace wise. it's such a heart wrenching experience to listen to this song, knowing you're not alone in wanting things to be as they were, a wish never to be fulfilled

daylight: and it all goes downhill from here. things start getting melancholic from here. but the imagery goddd the imagery in this song is worth dying for. as an aspiring writer, i'm really fucking jealous

little freak: no but i literally thought this was gonna be about sex. seriously. and then it turns out to be a song that makes me feel dead inside. but let's talk about deadness on the next one, shall we? (sidenote: this bridge omggggg)

matilda: need i say anything more than what the internet has actually said? i cried. in fact this is the first time I've used the "hide" option on spotify. 'cause yk ik i need to be in a certain headspace (read: need to be in the mood to get fucked up) to listen to this one. i need to know i'm alone and can dry heave and sob before playing it. in fact i've only listened to it three times yet and i plan to keep it that way for a while

cinema: imagine being so cool harry fucking styles writes a song about it. imagine harry fucking styles wondering if he's good enough for you.

daydreaming: OMG THE INSTRUMENTALS IN THIS ONE *chef's kiss* harry's outdone even himself in terms of instruments in this album and I've got literally zero complaints

keep driving: right when i first listened to it i thought to myself, that video he was filming in that yellow outfit, it's for this one. it was just an instinctive response to the melody and even though that feeling isn't there anymore after multiple listens, if an mv does get released for this song, let it be known i prophecized it. the song in itself is just soooo ugh inexplicably lovely. it's really the kind of love letter I'd like to receive lol

satellite: ummmmm. satellite is matilda's little sibling in terms of me crying. seriously there's just something so disturbingly poignant about the lyrics. the desperation, the longing, you can feel it

boyfriends: again listened on coachella first so no fresh thoughts. but i have a feeling that he's talking about himself in this one. like idk just a feeling. like somehow a sense of self deprecation festering in it? and he's talked about how he wrote after seeing the way some dudes mistreat their partners, like his sisters and his friends, in the zane lowe interview, but it's also an acknowledgement of his own behavior so yk i'm not completely wrong haha

love of my life: just like sushi is the perfect album opener, this is the perfect last song. this is the most beautifully unsettling song on this album. like obviously matilda and satellite are sad af but on the surface this one doesn't seem sad ykwim? it's beauty is in its implicit despondence. it's beauty is in the longing for what you know YOU threw away. things aren't as they were because of YOU. and man is that concept sad. the perfect ending to a beautiful piece of art that i'm going to be playing on repeat for at least the next whole month.