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#gonna give it like 15 more minutes before i start packing up
cowboycatss · 4 months
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can i see the cats?
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we’ve only got these two boys today. they both untied my shoes and the first one tried to eat my hair
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guillotine-drop · 8 months
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Ranking New Vegas companions by their alcohol tolerance
Arcade - 6/10: Hear me out, Arcade is a fairly big guy and between his genetics and the work he does, he’s bound to have some weight behind him. Do I think he’s going toe to toe with the average Wrangler patron? No, but I do think you could sit him down with a bottle of wine and by the end he’d be juuuuust tipsy enough to follow you into that Nightstalker cave with minimal complaints.
Boone - 4/10: Despite being a miserable boot boy with a dead wife, I think Boone is on the lower end of alcohol tolerance solely because he’s a sniper; I feel as though the job description means that you can’t exactly be swaying with your shots, so his tolerance would be piss poor. You could probably get him to drink a 12 pack with you, but just watch out: he might start showing a human emotion, and that’ll be uncomfortable for both of you.
Cass - 8/10: There’s something to be said about the fact that you need at least 8 Endurance to be able to beat her at the drinking contest to recruit her. Obviously she can hold her liquor, but I WILL dock points for being sloppy about it. (Girl how did you manage to wake up with a random soldier after the battle??? Don’t you know what your mailman looks like???) Share the whiskey but make sure you loop her belt around a pipe or something so she doesn’t run off.
Veronica - 3/10: I love Veronica. I love her so much. I don’t think she can hold her liquor to save her life. I think Ronnie is a ‘3 drinks and she’s out’ kind of girl. That being said, I also think that she could probably get through most of a box of hard seltzers before she starts feeling it, and I think she’d shotgun them with her Power Fist to be funny.
Raul - 10/10: He’s a ghoul, he’s old, and he’s miserable 95% of the time. I think if you handed him a bottle of Dubious Liquid he wouldn’t even hesitate to drink it. I think he’s drank rubbing alcohol just to see what would happen. I think if you give him a totally intact, unopened, top shelf bottle of tequila, he’d have to excuse himself to the other room for a minute. Definitely the one I’d want to go drinking with.
Lily - 15/10: Mamaw’s 7 feet tall and 500 pounds of sheer muscle with a super mutant metabolism, I don’t even think conventional liquor would affect her tbh. I think she’s drinking that Jacobstown Moonshine that melts spoons and eats through glass. I think she could drink a can of turpentine and it would be like a White Claw. Go grandma, but for the love of god not to the bar. I do NOT have the caps for that.
Rex - 6/10: Okay hear me out (again). He’s an old as hell cyber dog who went through multiple owners, he’s probably got more metal than organs, and the last guys who had him were Elvis impersonators who do fuckall all day but day drink and watch each other do cabaret. You look me in the face and tell me that dog hasn’t had more booze pass through his system than the average wastelander. It’s still only a 6/10 because he shouldn’t be getting it, but are you gonna tell him no? Look at that face. And lower your glass.
ED-E - 0/10: Please do not pour liquor into the orb.
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ghostlythunderbird · 1 year
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"The Pack" Oneshots ~ Nesting Pains
Pairings: Alpha!König, Alpha!Simon “Ghost” Riley, Alpha!Keegan P. Russ X Omega!Fem!Reader
Warnings: Just some nest building! Fluff
Words: 1,026
Author's Notes: Just a cute little idea I had brewing for a while. Hope you guys enjoy it!
Summary: You're having some trouble building your new nest; luckily, the boys swoop in to help out a bit.
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No. No. NO
Why did this all feel so off? Was it because you were attempting to nest in a new home, with a new pack, with Mates this time? You had no idea what was going on; the discomfort was more than likely coming from your inner omega. The only thing is that your omega has yet to have this much influence on your actions. Huffing in frustration, you set down the sheet in your hands as you stared at the scattered pieces of nesting material on the ground. 
Pieces were strung out, and the attempt to begin the shape of the nest lay there, quietly mocking you as you sat in the middle of your new room. When did nesting become so difficult for you? You couldn't stop the upsetting chirp that left your chest. You laid back on the floor and stared up at the ceiling; maybe all you needed was a break in quiet and staring up at the plain cream ceiling.
However, the quiet was disrupted by the sound of footfalls thundering up the stairs and coming to a stop at your door. The door swung open, and the gentle giant of an Austrian walked in only to stop at the state of the room. "(Y/N)! Omega, are you ok? I heard you chirp, is something wrong?"
He questioned as he stepped around the edge of the would-be nest, coming close to your head. Looking down, he saw the defeat that marred your beautiful features. You were silent, thinking over your words before looking the Apex in the eyes. "My nest, Nothing feels right about any of this. I don't know where to begin or how big to make it for everyone." You sighed. Bringing your hands up to your face, you allowed your hands to engulf your face. Your frustration soon returned while you mulled over the task of attempting to start back on the nest; however, with one of your Alphas watching, you couldn't bring yourself to even move, only allowing silent tears to fall from your eyes.
Your fingers gently wiped away tears that lingered under your eyes. Turning your head upwards again, you gazed upon him. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be so emotional." You said. The Apex above you let out a sigh of his own "Nonsense, Schatz, This is important to you, so it's ok to get frustrated." God, this man was planning on killing you from his tender-hearted nature. At least that's how it felt when he smiled at you. You looked up into his eyes again. "Is something else bothering you as well, Schatz?"
You thought for a long moment before responding, leaning up from the floor and turning your head away from the Apex. "It's just.....all of this is so different. I know you are all going to be my mates, but all of this is just a bit much for me, I guess." You murmured softly. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to understand your statement. Kneeling, the Apex gently grasped your hands before pulling you to stand with him. "I understand, but don't worry, we will all figure it out. Now what do you need from us?"
Looking up at the Apex, you couldn't help but give him a sheepish smile. "How willing do you think the other two might be to at least help with how big I need to make it?"
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Not even 15 minutes later, you had all three alphas sitting shoulder to shoulder on the floor. It was comical to see three massive alphas sitting around, perfectly still to not disrupt their omega's progress. Keegan and Ghost were on the outer edges, whereas König was in the middle as he was the biggest. As for you, you were laying nesting material along the sides of Keegan and Ghost, slowly building the edges of the nest. The room was quiet aside from your hums and small growls when a blanket or pillow wouldn't lay right.
"Soooo, how big is this thing gonna be?" Keegan whispered, leaning close to König. The Apex looked at Keegan before his eyes darted back to you for a split second. "As large as it needs to be," He whispered back. A light blush appeared on your cheeks at the idea of having such a giant nest; the other two alphas chuckled at the look on your face.
Having your alphas here was nice as you built the nest you would all share eventually. It was rather relaxing, not only that this was the longest you've been around Keegan and Ghost since you first got here. Looking back to the Alphas, you moved behind them before gently tugging on König's shirt. The large Apex looked back at you, confused. "Omega, what is it?" Once again, you pulled, slightly rougher this time, but finally, the Apex got the hint.
Laying down on his back, he watched as you placed a pillow just above his head before you moved to do the same at his feet. After that, you took a step back to look at the beginnings of your massive nest, this will have been the most enormous nest you've ever made, and it seemed to fit all three alphas snugly. Speaking of your alphas, they all seemed eager to move, yet they didn't until you allowed them to.
Letting out a high-pitched chirp after some time. "Ok, you guys need to get out." All three looked at each other before letting out an exasperated groan. "It'll be done when it's done!" You stated. König looked at you while the two alphas on the edges moved to get up. "But don't you want any-" Before he could finish his sentence, you had let out a growl; all three alphas took that as their sign that they needed to get out.
As they cleared your doorway into the hallway, you instantly shut the door behind them. All three stood in silence as they looked towards the door before looking between each other. But only Ghost had one thing to say after the whole ordeal.
"Did she just use us as fucking measuring tools?"
Tag List: @silentmel, @thisperspective, @thebestgirlever2, @ghostalina, @pascallllllll1, @jujitsuito2069, @hypernovaxx, @frazie99, @v1naco, @littlezarp, @thatoneautor0123, @credince--writes, @4ndjelij4, @alonelyteenagebroncinbuck, @alonelyteenagebroncinbuck, @random0lover, @wintersnnowie, @operatorinvestigatesco, @marytvirgin, @nightriver99, @l-lend, @kelpiesummer, @quietlyignoringyou, @teehee-47, @warrior-of-justice, @missbunnybunny, @maechanexe, @numberonemetalheadexpert, @littlemiss-nightshade, @lillianastuff, @iconfusemyselfalot, @crazy-phan-girl13, @nightriver99, @multitargaryen, @xaestheticalien, @rnangoes, @demonking-69, @
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furuyalover · 5 months
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4:52 pm
— ft. kuroo tetsurou
includes: a cute lil impromptu study date
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it’s april and we all know what that means, finals season. right now it’s just you, your laptop, numerous papers and notebooks, and an iced matcha latte enveloping you in the cozy cafe atmosphere. you’re trying study for your calculus test tomorrow and you’re pretty focused, for the most part.
about ten minutes ago you glance up from your studies where you notice a familiar face across the cafe, kuroo tetsurou. while you’re decently close with your classmate and you’ve made conversation with him numerous times, you figured both of you are too busy with your work for you to approach him right now. however you can’t seem to get the striking captain out of your head. you’ve always had an admiration for him but some would say it’s more like a crush… so after a solid 15 minutes of pretending to do work and pondering what to do, you finally decide to maybe shoot him a text!
y/n: hey am i tripping or is there an obnoxious volleyball player studying across from me?
kuroo: obnoxious is a strong word 😒 u also studying for the calc test? 😭
y/n: kind of …. not doin too hot rn
kuroo: oh well you’re in luck then
and just like that you glance up from your screen and notice him begin to gather his things and make his way towards you. the middle blocker plops himself down on a seat next to you and begins unpacking his bag. “don’t worry princess im here to save you from your calc demons.” your flutters a little at the sudden nickname, but you keep your composure with a quick retort “ok woah im not doing THAT bad.” “then why is your study guide blank?” damn, he got you there. “whatever you gonna help me or what?” since he’s a man of his word he opens his notebook helping you review what you’ve learned these past classes, and working you through each problem better than khan academy ever could. he’s concise but sweet, making sure to comfort you every time you’re overwhelmed or not sure how to solve a problem. you’ve never seen this side of him, you’re used to dealing with his cockiness and sarcasm and this caring demeanor is something new to you.
but just like that an hour and a half has gone by and you’ve both successfully gotten through all your homework! where did all the time go? you wondered to yourself. embarrassingly, you’re kind of upset that you’re study sesh has come to an end. you’ve always wanted to go out with kuroo outside of class, and this is the closest you’re ever gonna get to that. “oh well all good things must come to an end” kuroo says, almost defeated you thank him for all his help while you start packing your things.
“actually wait before you go,” you stop what you’re doing to look up at him, wondering what he possibly need. surely he’s just gonna ask about something from class right? wrong. hes flustered. almost red even. scratching the back of his neck he finally looks at you and says “i really enjoyed hanging out with you, and i just wondered if you wanted to do this again sometime?” you’ve never seen him so nervous before, so you let out a small smile with a slightly confused look on your face. “what, like study?” your smile ends up giving him reassurance and just like that his confident demeanor is back. he grabs your hand and says “well that’d be a pretty boring date don’t ya think?” grinning before placing a chaste kiss on your hand.
you look down to try and hide the rosy blush that now plastered your face (too late he already saw it). flustered by his sudden advance you look up and match his confidence arrogance with your own. “alright then, but if i don’t get an A on this test im rejecting you”
“oh like that’s ever gonna happen” you roll your eyes, but he has a point.
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reblogs appreciated and admired ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ �� ₎ა
AN: ahhh this was so fun to write <3 love love loveee writing some friends/classmates to lovers drabbles !! hope u guys enjoyed this lil piece i whipped up :)
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girlboypersonthingy · 6 months
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Hey, can i have Lucifer x gn! reader that suffers from migraines? It can just be headcanons, really.
I dont have any specifics for it.
Nonniieeeeee, I’m so sorry! I’m not sure when you sent this but I’m finally getting to it. Thanks for being so patient, to you and everyone who’s requested recently. Also, I hope you’re feeling okay, anon. ❤️‍🩹 And as always, enjoy~
Notes: gn!reader, just fluff and Luci being such a sweetheart ALSO I GOT TWO LUCI POSTS DONE IN ONE DAY FUCK YEAH!!!
Lucifer x reader- S/O suffers from migraines
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“OH DARLING! MY ANGEL BABY! Come, lay down. I’ll get you an ice pack. Or would you prefer a heating pad? Tell me what you need, my love. Daddy’s here for you~”
Good luck. This guy is gonna cling to you and baby you all day until you feel better okay? Just prepare yourself
Will literally, actually, for real do anything you ask. He just feels so bad for you and hates seeing you like this so go ahead, tell him what you need.
Meds? You got it! He’s flying over to get them so fast and returning to your side before you can even blink
You cold? Need a blanket? Come here, let Luci wrap you up in his plethora of thick plush wings 💋
Wanna take a nap? He’s draping blankets over you, fluffing the pillow before tucking it under your throbbing head, makes sure the room is dark and quiet.
Will definitely hum softly to you as you cuddle and rest together.
Lots of soft kisses to your head and face- comes in waves like…he’ll kiss the top of your head once and then a few minutes later, he’s peppering your face in repetitively sweet kisses.
Will also full-on make out with you if that’ll distract you from the pain *wink wink*
Also, a lot of gentle touches, lightly tickling your skin, letting his fingertips wander over any bits of exposed skin he sees.
Might even strip off some of your clothes but strictly for the purpose of exposing more of your skin for him to softly stroke or rub comforting circles on.
Plays with your hair- starts by gently running his fingers through it and eventually ends up giving you a scalp massage that has you falling asleep in his hands.
When/if you get tired of him being clingy or you just want some alone time, please tell him! He’d rather you bruise his ego a bit by telling him you need space than you be even more miserable with him around. If you need a break from him, just say so and he’ll leave you be but he’s gonna come check on you every 15 minutes and ask you like 50 times if you’re mad at him lol
Will happily run off to the kitchen to make you soup or tea, something warm and comforting
One time he accidentally walked in on you taking a nap and when you woke up, at first he was like “Hi, honey. You okay?” And when you explain in a groggy voice that you have a killer migraine and you’re trying to sleep it off, he lowkey gets mad at himself for disturbing you and begs for your forgiveness. No matter your reply, he still asks “Want some company?” Before crawling into bed with you.
Also, one time found you crying on the couch due to the immense pain in your head, the throbbing and aching becoming too much.
Luci dramatically swooped you up in his arms and took you to lay down in bed. Cooed in your ear while wiping your tears away and holding you close to him.
He shed a tear along with you bc oh no his poor baby is in so much pain, it physically hurts his heart
Basically, just the sweetest little sweet pea in the entire Hellaverse, okay? No one in hell could take care of you better than the big boss himself ❤️‍🔥
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squoxle · 3 months
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Sweet Like Candy ~ S.JY
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pairing: bf!jake x gf!reader | wc: 500 | plot: you and Jake finally go on a date to the movies. but don't be late, because he wants to see the previews. | cw: pure fluff and a few kisses hehe
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“Babe! Come on, we’re gonna be late,” Jake yelled as he grabbed the keys in his hands.
“No we’re not,” you shouted back. “The most we’ll miss are the previews.”
“Okay? I wanna see the previews too,” he pouted as he walked into the room to see you putting on your jewelry.
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“Hmm, okay fine. I’m almost done. Just go wait in the car for me," you said as you saw a bright smile grow across his face.
You rubbed your lips together as you applied your candy-flavored lipgloss before tucking it in your purse.
You slipped into a pair of white tennis shoes before joining your boyfriend in the car.
"You got everything you need?" he asked as you buckled your seatbelt.
"Yup," you smiled as he pulled off. He was taking you out on a date to the movies. It had been a while since you guys did something alone together as a couple so he was really excited about this. To be honest, he was more excited than you.
He drove into the parking lot of the venue before hopping out of the car and coming around to open your door.
"Come on, let's gaurrr," he said, playfully pulling you out of the car as he grabbed your hands and took off running straight for the entrance.
"Hey d'you wanna go pick out the snacks while I get our tickets?" he asked giving you that confused puppy look he always had whenever he was feeling a bit indecisive. "Or I could go get the snacks while you get the tickets. Or umm..."
"I'll go get the snacks," you chuckled. "You just worry about the tickets, okay."
"Okay, thanks babe," he smiled before kissing you on the lips. His eyes widened as your lips parted. You watched as he licked his lips with one eyebrow raised.
"What?" you asked as you covered your mouth slightly with your hand.
"Your lips are sweet," he chuckled. "Sweet like candy."
"Oh," you sighed in relief. "I just tried out this new lipgloss I bought at the mall the other day."
"Well, I like it," he bit his lips softly before leaning in to kiss you again.
"The next viewing will start in 15 minutes," an announcer's voice said over the speakers.
"Oh, shoot!" he spat, raising his wrist to look at his watch. "I haven't even bought the tickets yet. You go get the snacks and I'll meet you back over here as soon as I finish, okay."
"Hehe, okay," you smiled as he ran off.
You grabbed a large popcorn, two sodas, and a couple packs of candy before meeting up with Jake under the stained glass dome in the middle of the cinema.
"Did you get extra butter?" he asked as he saw the large tub wrapped in one of your arms.
"Yup."
"Cheese?"
"Yes," you chuckled.
"Gummies?"
"Oh my god, yes babe," you laughed, handing him the bucket of extra buttery popcorn.
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[a.n.] This short fic was inspired by a post on my girl's page @addictedtohobi (link to post)
❀ Thank you all so much for reading! Make sure to check out other works on my masterlist!
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❀ 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @chlorinecake @mimikittysblog @nikisvanillaccola @wonbinisbabygurl @mrswolfhard3 @laylasbunbunny @sussyjake @furious-eagle @cherrriesss @abbyizzy @weyukinluv @addictedtohobi @thatonenoona @wavykook @givemeyourtmihyun @jaeljn @hoonmywk @valennshit @19-yunalyn @hoonbby @frostedblankets @hoonsyo @no-mannerism @perfectxserendipity @chubbibish @ihrtlix @bunniesforsoobin @thereadersparadise @thatbooknerdfr @aiden2001 @belongstoheeseung @jakeybabe @donut-crazs @rizzhee @nikimeows @woonieees @uarmyxtae @rebecca-johnson-28 @they2luv1naia @isa-2007 @silcry @riverscafe @pearlwhitesoul @nikohiroshi @thatbooknerdfr @wonniewonwon @sughoonieeee @babyy-bambii @adrika04 @sehunsharpasseyebrows @wtfyangjungwon @fr-3-akn-4-stymf @rikiloversworld @shawyle @sunoosrightbuttcheek @uarmyxtae @lovesickxmina @urfavberry @urauntiefaye @breadlover01 @taehyunsfavmoa
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sameschmidtdiffname · 4 months
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A Comfort or Two
Mike Schmidt x Gender Neutral! Reader
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Summery: Vices never killed anybody.
Tags: No use of Y/N, no use of gendered pronouns for Reader, pre-established relationship, hurt/no comfort, Reader has ✨️issues✨️, this isn't a vent fic what are you talking about???, use of cigarettes, brief mentions of sleep medication, arguement, and this is barely proofread. (Read: Isn't.)
Notes: I have had writers block for three months. I shit this out in ten minutes. What the fuck?
Anyways, phone blapple teet.
                       ▪︎◇{¤♧■♧¤}◇▪︎
"Since when do you smoke?"
The voice rings clear in the dead of night, the only sound surrounding us being the crickets chirping and mosquitos buzzing past my ears.
"I don't," I answer, taking another drag off the cigarette between my cold fingers.
Mike doesn't speak as he steps onto the patio, softly shutting the glass door behind him with a sort of 'thump' sound that it always makes when the door seals shut.
For a moment we don't say anything. Then I exhale, and the noise that makes must be his silent blessing to speak.
"American Spirits," he notes, too awkward to say what he really thinks.
"Turquoise," I say. I take another drag, then speak as I hold my breath. "You know how many people that work at gas stations don't know what the fuck turquoise looks like when you ask for a pack of this shit?"
He sucks his teeth. I wonder for a moment if he knows what the color looks like.
"Most people are pretty good on red, blue, yellow," he says.
Yeah, he doesn't know.
"Pretty warm out here for a sweater," he notes.
"I don't like bugs," I say, exhaling. "They pick at my skin, eat me alive. Sue me."
His foot scuffs the concrete, a nervous habit.
"Can I bum one?"
This makes me turn my head to look at him, almost glaring as I try to gage how serious his request is, looking him up and down in his undergarments before speaking.
"Seriously?" I ask.
"If we're having a cheat day, yeah. Count me in," he says, walking to sit beside me, crossing his legs and resting back on his palms, then readjusting as he decides he doesn't like the feeling of the gravel on his skin, brushing the pepples off on his shorts.
I shrug and scoff, but pick up my pack and open the flap, shuffling out a little bit of tobacco and then finding a paper, getting to work on rolling a cigarette for the man who watches me curiously.
"Why not buy pre-roll?" He asks.
"You gonna give me the extra money to buy pre-rolled?" I ask, my tone too dull to be sharp, but too pointed to be sarcastic. He relents, looking away.
"Bad day?" He asks after another moment of silence, daring to glance back at me.
"Not a good one," I answer around my own cigarette, then hold it between my left pinkie and ring finger so I can stick my tongue out to wet the paper so it'll stick together.
"You wanna talk about it?" He asks.
I don't acknowledge his question, instead picking off a spare bit of tobacco that sticks out from the end of the new cigarette, then put the leftover back in my pouch. I offer it to him, asking if he needs a lighter. He nods, and he takes it with such a gentle hand it's like I'm watching a 15 year old try to act cool for his sisters college friends or something.
I lean back, removing the cheap, purple BIC from my shorts pocket and hand it to him. It shouldn't irritate me how he looks at the items like he's completely clueless, failing to hide it as his brows furrow in thought.
"It's not gonna kill you," I say to him.
"I mean... they will," he says quietly.
There's another silent moment. He toys with the lighter, flicking it to life.
"Why purple?" He finally asks. I look at him, our eyes meeting. He doesn't look less tired than me, but he looks concerned more than anything, which irritates but sates me all at once.
I contemplate answering honestly. Take another drag, hold, exhale.
"When I graduated high school, I started fucking this guy. Awful man, great-" I pause. "Mediocre dick."
I don't say that for Mike's benefit, let me make that clear.
"But I thought it was great at the time. And I thought I liked him. And his favorite color was purple," I say.
Mike looks down at the lighter again, letting the flame die.
"We smoked together," I clarify. "I thought he would like it."
"So, you've had this since high school?" He asks, sounding slightly impressed.
"No," I say. "I just became the friend with the purple lighter, so I stuck with the theme. They're cheap, so it's easy."
He nods, then finally lifts the cigarette to his chapped lips, licking them and carefully holding it as he lights it. I watch, anticipating his coughing fit, which he tries to suppress after his first inhale, though there's already tears in his eyes. I look away, trying to let him pop his cherry in peace.
"Did he?" He asks in a very strained voice, sounding pathetic as he holds in his breath.
I furrow my brows, looking back at him. His face is red, his chest is trembling.
"You're gonna die," I point out, reaching to pet his back, rubbing right next to his spine, under his lung. "Hold your arms up, that'll help."
He obeys, exhaling and coughing so disgustingly it makes me grimace. But I just rub, trying to help him as he sounds like he's trying not to vomit. I should take the cigarette away from him, but I kind of don't want to. This is the D.A.R.E. exercise that works, in my opinion.
"Like it," he coughs out, gasping for clean air. "Did-"
"Okay, okay, I got it now," I reassure him, patting a bit harder on his back. He gives me a thumbs up, finally starting to recover, and sniffling back tears that threaten to trail down his face. This man is 25, by the way.
I sit back onto my palms, relaxing now that he isn't going to die. I let him recover for another moment, then watch as he decides to go in for another hit.
"He didn't," I answer. Mike does better on this inhale, not trying to act cool and letting himself cough, which helps extremely. "He didn't even notice it, and when I pointed it out he just told me it's his favorite color because girls thought it was cool."
Mike's brows furrow in disgust, and at first I think it's from the cigarette.
"Dick," he coughs, smoke pouring out of his mouth and nose, which must burn based off of how he picks at his nostrils, trying to wipe away the burning sensation.
I nod. "Yep," I say, popping the 'p.' Then there's silence again, me smoking, Mike trying.
Eventually, I reach the end of my stick and snub it out. Mike contemplates holding out, then decides against it. Probably for the best. He looks a little green around the gills.
"So, what makes you go out and buy loose tobacco and smoke like you're used to it?" Mike asks me, handing me back the lighter and remainder of his cigarette, which is warm in my palm.
"I don't even know," I sigh, looking down at the semi pregnant joint. Not my best roll. "I've just been exhausted lately."
"Work?" He asks. I shake my head. "Friends?"
"I don't know," I sigh irritablely.
"Is there-"
"Don't ask me what you can do, because everyone else had already asked and if I have to sit through another grilling on this shit, I'm gonna fucking bite someone's head off," I snap, raising my head to look at the fence in front of us, closing us in and providing privacy from the neighbors that drink too much and party too loud during football season.
Mike sucks his teeth again, looking down at his lap. "Think you just did," he points out quietly. But it's not to make me feel bad. The delivery is almost comedic, really. More for my entertainment than guilt.
"I'm sorry," I say softly, shame creeping into my stomach and making me bury my head in my hands. I try to think of something else to say, an explanation to give. But all I can say is a repeat, "I'm sorry."
Even though I can't see him, I know Mike's face softens. His arms encircle me gently, pulling me closer to him, smoke so wrongly mixed with the taste of mouthwash on his breath.
"Hey," he soothes. "It's okay."
"I'm just tired," I say in a strained voice.
"I know," he says.
"And my head hurts."
"I'm sorry."
"And I can't sleep at night."
Mike's quiet at that, trying to figure out what to say, what to offer. My insomnia isn't new, and he's offered his own sleep pills, but I decline everytime. I'm just glad by the time my leg starts bouncing enough to rock the bed, the medication has such a deep hold on him he doesn't appear to notice. I wonder if he feels guilty that he sleeps so much easier than I, a relief that escapes me.
"Have you been eating?" He asks.
I scoff. Rude.
"I'm serious," he says.
"Yes, I'm eating," I answer, not raising my head from my hands, my palms digging against my eyes.
"How much?" He asks.
"Michael-"
"I just want to make sure-"
"Don't baby me-"
"I'm not babying you-"
"Than what the fuck is this?" I ask, looking up at him.
"This is me being worried over you," he says as though it were obvious, furrowing his brows.
"Well, I don't fucking need it," I tell him, now trying to rise, but his hands hold me down, pissing me off.
"Hang on, let's talk about this-"
"What the fuck is there to talk about?" I snap, standing so abruptly it throws us both off balance.
Mike stares up at me incredulously, his mouth slightly agape. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He asks me, his concern turning into a glare.
I don't answer, storming back into the house wordlessly as he calls my name, opening the door with strength I don't mean to use because it sends the glass sliding door ramming into the other side of the wall, but thankfully it doesn't break.
"Hey!" I can hear Mike's snap echoing sharply in the room, loud and making me flinch as I storm away. "You don't fucking slam that door!"
I don't respond, too irritated and guilt ridden to acknowledge him, my mind scrambled on locations of where I can run for comfort. My feet carry me automatically to the living room, my hand snatching my keys off the coffee table.
Mike calls after me again, demanding of me that I come back, that I talk about this. But I don't want to. These emotions inside of me, I don't even know why they exist, what they are, what part of my soul to bare to force them to go away.
I unlock the front door, and there's part of me that acknowledges I don't have a phone on me. I'll be on my own, alone. A state in which I used to never find comfort, but is now the only state in which I know how to exist in.
Mike grabs at me, a bit too rough to be appropriate. He's desperate, maybe angry, maybe scared of what will happen if I walk out that door. He's stronger than me, which makes me react in fear rather than logic.
I jerk my arm out of his grasp, but I have to use such force it sends my fist flying into my own face, my eye getting a good hit in the process, making Mike freeze temporarily.
It just makes me run out the door, into the night, scurrying into my car and turning the key quickly, leaving both of us to wonder where the hell I'm going and when I'll be back.
For both of our sake, I wish I had an answer. And I'm sorry that running feels better than staying.
I'd be a better person if I could be. If it could bring me comfort.
                              ¤▪︎{♧}▪︎¤
Rawdogged this like I did your mom last night.
Taglist:
@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 @jhutchissupercool @laurrrelise @sleepyhutcherson . Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3
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citrus-simp · 2 years
Text
{A/N}: so this is what happens for me and it’s so painful to the point it makes me frustrated and I end up crying because I’m just past the point of physically being uncomfortable so I wanted to write it and of course using my comfort character. A self insert maybe ?
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Warnings: mentions of blood, period pain, crying, typically but painful menstrual cycle
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The hell? Why is she moving so much?
The blonde thought to himself as he was starting to awaken from his sleep. You had been moving just a bit too much. More then usual. She’s probably just getting comfortable
Of course all other thoughts when out the window as soon as he heard a whimper from you. It wasn’t your usual deep in sleep sounds, no. This was physical pain kind of whimper. His ruby eyes shot open to see the clock read 3:15 AM. He slips over and put his hand on your shoulder
“Y/N…are you okay whats wrong?” He asked in his gruff voice still filled with sleep.
“I-it h-hurts…a lot” he hear the tears and pain in your voice. He quickly turns the light on and back to you. He could see the tears rolling off of your face and on your sheets. You were curled and trying to rub the pain away from different areas. He didn’t like seeing you in pain, it was the last thing he could ever want to see. He knew you started your period and you’ve had cramps but were they this bad this time around ?
“Hey, hey, common tell me what hurts so I can help you” he says trying to calm you down so he could help. He didn’t like periods. Not because of the constant bleeding or the bloating or the cravings. He hated that sometimes you’d be in horrible pain and there was nearly nothing he can do to help. He couldn’t punch it in the face, or blast it away to keep you safe.
“M-my hips..” you take in a shaker breath “I’ve never had it b-before and now they just hurt” more tears spilling from those eyes that he loves so much. He laid a large hand to your hip to see if maybe pressure or heat would help. You remain in the same state and if anything you had flinched a little from the contact. He thought for a moment and asked
“Can you walk?” He asked gently as he combed through your hair trying to comfort you in anyway. You shake your head knowing if you even sit up you’d feel more pain. He gets off the bed and comes around to your side. He carefully lifts you up from bed and wraps your legs around his (tiny) waist. He kissed your shoulder as you rest your head on his. Almost like a child being carried after scraping their knee.
“Come on baby, I Gotchu. Gonna make your feel better. First he takes you to the bathroom and give you privacy to change your pad/tampon. Once you were done he helped to wash your face and wipe your tears away. He hugged you tightly and rocked side to side with you. He mumbled loving words and made you feel safe “you’re so strong baby” “I know it hurts but it’ll be over soon” “I’ll make the pain go away okay?”
Honestly maybe the words would even make everything feel okay. Despite his exterior he was very good at comforting you and making you feel like it’ll be okay. He once again picks you up and makes his way in the kitchen. He sits you on the counter and turns on the stove. He gives you some pain killers and works on the tea. While the tea boils he grabs some ice packs. Always keeping a couple handy whenever he was home from work and was sore.
“If heat isn’t helping ice should. Your might just be sore and your feeling it in your hips” he said wrapping them in a paper towel. He gentle lays them on each hip and watches to see how your responde. Your hands come over his own and you sigh in content. Eyebrows knitting together as you feel slightly emotional that he found a way to make the pain stop. You rest your forehead on his shoulder and whisper
“Thank you Katsuki” your body finally relaxing after being tense for so long. He kisses your head and held the ice in place being your such relief. After about 10 minutes or so you had drank your tea and he carried you off to bed for much needed rest.
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supergirl000983 · 3 months
Text
Going Home
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Travis Wheatley x Dutton!Reader
Warning: Smut, Language,
Note: No one ever writes for Travis, so I decided I was going to. Also, he's not a whore in this. lol
The Middle Child
The Youngest Daughter
The Favorite Child
Y/N Dutton…well technically she had been Y/N Wheatley for 8 years now hell she was the only one outta her siblings that seemed to be popping out more than one kid. Then again that was more because even after being together for 15+ years her and Travis still couldn’t keep their hands off each other. That’s actually how they ended up in their position now with her bent over his office desk and him fucking her from behind. “With the bruises you will have on your hips I’m gonna owe you flowers.” Travis said as he leaned down kissing his wife’s neck. “Fuck flowers buy me a fucking horse and fuck me for the rest of our lives.” She said turning her head to give him better access. “God, I fucking love you” he said as he brought his hand around to rub circles on her clit after a few moments they both reached their climaxes. After a few minutes he pulled out and kissed his wife’s shoulder and popped her on the ass. “I’m almost positive that you are pregnant with baby #5 after that.” “Well considering we’ve been fucking like rabbits in heat I would hope so.” Y/N said after they were both dressed. Y/N turned and hugged her husband knowing she had to tell him the real reason she came in here. “We need to go back to my dad’s ranch for a little bit I’m not sure how long. I just know he called and said he needed all of us there for a little bit.” She said looking up at him with hopeful eyes. “Ok. We will leave in the morning I’ll have Rayden and Harlow help Stetson and Wren-Leigh pack. If you will go ahead and get our bags packed, I’ll get the SUV read and have Lucas follow behind us with the truck and horse trailer?” He said as he pulled her, so her head was on his chest. They stayed like that for a moment with him rubbing her back before there was a knock on the door then the voice of their oldest child Rayden who was 14 years old. “Mom Aunt Beth’s on the phone she said Uncle Jamie is in deep shit with the rest of the family.” Y/N walked over and opened the door to take the phone and reminding her child to watch his mouth. “Hello?” She asked “God, do you ever answer your fucking phone? I have called your mobile like 4-5 times.” Beth scolded her. Y/N felt bad as she looked over and saw her phone on Travis’s desk. “Sorry I was busy handling something.” “More like busy handling a certain horse trainer.” “What did you call for Bethy?” “Jamie is running for Governor of Montana, and I need my dear sweet sister’s help to take him down.” “We will be on the road first thing in the morning.” Y/N said before disconnecting her son’s phone then handing it back to him and sending him to go pack and help his younger siblings pack. “Holy shit. What the fuck is Jamie thinking. Like Governor? He wants to be governor now?” She said as she crawled into her husband’s lap on the couch of his office. “I don’t know darlin.” He said wrapping his arms around her and kissing her on the forehead before standing up with her and carrying her to their bedroom. Sitting her on the bed he started to pack for both of them. “Make sure you pack your green hoodie.” Y/N said as she walked to the bathroom to pack up their bathroom bags. After she got done packing the bathroom bag, she helped Travis finish packing. Then they parted ways with a kiss so he could go start loading bags in the car and she could walk through the house to finish helping the kids pack.
She came to a stop in front of her youngest's room where Harlow was helping Wren pack. "Why don't I finish packing Wren's bag and you take your stuff down to your daddy ok?" Y/N said as she walked up to her daughters. "Ok Mama." Harlow her 10-year-old daughter said as she grabbed her 4-H duffle bag, and walking out the door. "Mama are going to see Grandpa?" Wren her 5-year-old asked looking up at her. "Yeah, baby we are. Mama and Aunt Bethy have to take care of something for grandpa." She said looking down at her blonde headed child that she swore she could have had completely by herself. "Does that mean I get to see Uncle Rippy?" the small child asked as she grabbed her stuffed moose who she took with her everywhere. "Yes, baby that means you get to see Uncle Rippy, and Uncle Kayce, Aunt Monica, and Tate." "TATE?!" Wren screeched as she stopped in front of her dad that had just walked into her room to get whatever was left.
"Wren-Liegh Wheatley inside voice." Travis scolded as he grabbed her 4-h duffle from Y/N. "Sorry daddy I'm just really excited to see Tate." The small child looked a Travis with the same puppy dog eyes her mom uses. Travis gave his youngest a kiss on the head before sending her to go help her siblings feed their horses. "How do feel about leaving late tonight instead? Get there a lot earlier if we do." Travis asked his wife as he set the bag down and brought his hands to rest on her hips. "Yeah, that sounds good. I'll let Beth know we will be there earlier." She said leaning up to kiss her husband. As they kissed Travis's hands moved down to grab at her ass, but before it could get to heated, she pushed away a little keeping her hands on his chest. "We will definitely finish this later." She said as she fully pulled away and went to walk past him, but he was quicker, and his hand made contact with her ass. "Yes, we will." He said laughing following her out to the vehicle.
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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year
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this place is such great motivation for anyone trying to move the fuck away from hibernation
chapter 1: before also on AO3 based on this post Rated E for future chapters
🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰🧰
Nobody thought he could do it, but he did.
He graduated.
He was gonna get out of here.
He was gonna be someone.
The woman he celebrated with reminded him of Steve. He couldn’t lie to himself about it, knew the exact reasons he’d let her flirt with him, let her touch his arm, let her kiss him against the wall of the hallway of the bar leading to the bathrooms.
She was beautiful, of course, her hair a golden brown, eyes a soft brown. She had freckles along her cheeks and one on the tip of her nose.
Easily kissable if he were looking for more than one night.
He couldn’t give her that.
But he didn’t get the idea that she was interested in more than that anyway.
The back of the van was the perfect place to fuck her, and the fact that she didn’t really seem disgusted or annoyed by it further proved that she wasn’t interested in anything beyond tonight with him.
She was good, liked it a little rough, kissed him like she needed his lips on hers to survive.
Eddie was lost in it, not drunk enough to realize they’d forgotten to use a condom, but drunk enough to ignore it.
She was probably on birth control anyway.
It wouldn’t be anything more than tonight.
————————————————————
“Eds, I’m sorry about this, but they called me in for a shift. They’re pretty short staffed lately, so I think I should go,” Wayne said while Eddie was putting on his coveralls for work.
He was bouncing Mia on his hip, smiling down at her as he spoke to Eddie from the bathroom doorway.
“No, I get it,” Eddie replied.
He did. He totally understood.
When Mia’s mom had shown up with her on his doorstep, hospital bracelets still on them both, he’d already felt the shift of his entire life.
There was no denying Mia was his, even at only three days old.
So he held her in his arms, and he cried until Wayne got home from work, and then they figured it out.
He owed Wayne so much even before Mia, but now, as her number one caretaker, he owed Wayne everything.
So, yeah, he understood.
But it didn’t negate the fact that he was now going to have to take her to work with him on a day that the secretary wouldn’t be in to help keep an eye on her.
She was at the age where crawling could happen any day, and she was antsy if she was held for too long or stuck in her car seat or pack and play for more than 15 minutes.
But the shop was no place for a baby to learn to crawl, and that meant keeping her contained in something while he worked his Saturday shift.
“I don’t have to go in for a couple hours, so I could keep her here and drop her off on my way?” Wayne offered, knowing Eddie’s brain was trying to figure everything out.
“No, I may be in the middle of something when you get there so it’d be easier to just go ahead and have her there,” Eddie sighed. “Is her bounce seat in the truck?”
“I can check.”
Wayne passed her off to him, kissing the top of her head before he walked out to the truck.
“Hey, superstar. You wanna come to work with Daddy?” Eddie asked, laughing when she giggled and smacked his face in excitement. “Guess that’s a yes. You gonna behave or are you gonna cause trouble?”
“Ba!” Mia yelled, smacking him again.
“Ba for behave? I sure hope so,” he said quietly.
The guys at the shop were totally fine with her being there, and often turned the music down and watched their language more, but he knew it was an annoyance.
Everyone there had kids, yet he was the only one who had to bring his.
Everyone there also had wives who mostly stayed home or worked at the school so they had someone to watch their kids, but that wasn’t easy to remember when he started feeling bad.
“Better get you in something warm. It’s chilly out there,” Eddie poked at her cheek, where her dimple was on display.
She was a happy baby, hardly cried even when she was a newborn. He was incredibly lucky, would hate to know how much worse off they’d have been if she was a fussy baby.
He brought her into their shared room of the trailer, setting her down on the changing table.
He changed her quickly, buttoning her up in her warmest onesie and sweater, already trying to figure out how he would keep a blanket on her legs when she just kicked so damn much when Wayne walked into the room.
“Bounce seat is in your van. She should be pretty happy in that. Lets her get those legs moving,” Wayne said fondly. “You sure you’re good? Maybe I could try to call someone.”
“No, it’s okay. I’ve got it,” Eddie said with a smile.
“I know ya do, kid,” Wayne patted his shoulder before walking back out of the room.
“Alright, Miss Mia. Time to go start pulling your weight around here. You’ll have to get under those cars and do some oil changes if you wanna pay for those rice snacks you like so much,” he joked, tickling her side.
She giggled, and then started laughing uncontrollably.
It was his favorite laugh.
He couldn’t help but laugh along with her, picking her up and swinging her around before settling her against his hip.
She was his whole life, and if he could spend all of it making her laugh like that, he’d be the happiest person in the world.
————————————————————————
“Right, and I think last time we did mention you would need a cabin filter replacement on your next visit,” Eddie explained to the customer who was irate that they were recommending a cabin filter replacement in his car that somehow managed to still run despite its ignored maintenance.
“And if you remember, I told ya then that was a bunch of horse shit. Cabin filters don’t have to be replaced but every few years,” the man insisted.
“Sir, I do wish that were true, but-“
“Ed? Mia’s gettin’ a little fussy. Want me to hold her while you handle this?” Adam said from the doorway into the shop.
Eddie sighed and wiped his hand down his face, forgetting there was still a bit of oil on it from the last car he’d worked on.
“Sure, thanks man,” Eddie replied with a small smile.
“You either do it for free or I want my car back the way it was,” the man said when Adam went back into the shop area.
“I’m sorry, sir, we just don’t recommend driving it with the old cabin filter and-“
“Where’s your manager?”
Eddie threw his head back and groaned.
Should he have done it? No.
But his least favorite part of Saturdays was that he had to deal with rude customers by himself.
“He isn’t in on Saturdays. I’m the assistant manager. If I take the new cabin filter out of your car and put the old one back, your car is on its last days.”
“That’s what ya say every time I come.”
“Which is often. Because you don’t do what we tell you to do. Look, I’ve got two more cars to do, so if you wanna take the risk, I’ll go put your old filter back in. Or you can just pay us the $20 for the labor and new filter and maybe get another five or ten thousand miles out of that thing.”
That was generous.
This guy’s car was older than Eddie. He’d be lucky to get another 100 miles out of it, even with a new filter.
“Ed, sorry man. It’s just Mia isn’t calming down,” Adam stood in the doorway holding Mia, who was crying and rubbing her eyes, clearly ready for a nap but unable to because of the noise in the shop.
“Yeah, be right there,” Eddie said, and Adam, the best guy he knew besides Wayne, smiled reassuringly at him and went back into the shop with her.
“Why’s there a baby here?” the man asked, arms crossed.
“She’s my daughter. No one else could watch her.” Eddie walked behind the counter and wrote up a receipt showing he was refusing the new cabin filter. “Sign this saying we aren’t responsible for if your car catches fire, which it inevitably will soon, by not changing the cabin filter.”
The man signed it, then huffed about mechanics thinking they know everything.
Eddie barely managed to stop himself from rolling his eyes.
When he went back in the shop, Mia was full on screaming, something she rarely did, even when she was hungry or needed a diaper change.
“What’s wrong, metalhead in training?” he asked as he took her from Adam’s arms. “Sorry guys, she doesn’t usually do this.”
“No, we know man. It’s alright. She isn’t getting sick, is she?”
“Don’t think so. I just think she’s tired. It’s her nap time,” Eddie sighed, looking at the clock.
Three hours left.
He could do this.
They could do this.
“Do you think you can put his old cabin filter back in while I walk with her outside to calm her down?” Eddie asked Adam, noticing a car pulling into the parking lot.
Normally, Saturday mornings were busy, but around lunchtime, things slowed down. It seemed like he wouldn’t be so lucky today.
“Yeah, no problem.”
“I’ll see what this person needs while I’m out there,” Eddie said, nodding towards the front where someone was walking into the shop.
Eddie made his way to the front, ignoring the man pacing the floor as he waited for his shitbox car to be done.
“Alright, Mia, let’s calm down. Daddy’s gotta help a customer, okay? You wanna help me? Wanna wave at them when they get inside?” Eddie was speaking to her calmly, doing his best to get her to calm down.
She didn’t.
And that’s, of course, how Steve Harrington walked back into his life.
He’d left over a year ago, barely said goodbye to anyone, just followed Robin to college like a lost puppy.
He hadn’t really blamed him for leaving, but it still hurt.
He thought they were friends.
Maybe not best friends, but close enough that he would have said bye.
“Steve?” Eddie felt like the walls were closing in, an unexplainable panic at the thought of having to talk to Steve professionally when all he wanted to do was yell at him hitting him.
“Eddie! Holy shit, I didn’t even think you’d still be in town,” Steve said, beaming at him like he hadn’t torn Eddie to pieces when he left.
And, well, he hadn’t exactly known he’d torn Eddie to pieces when he left, but still. Eddie felt a lot of resentment suddenly boiling over.
“Well, some of us didn’t have much of an option,” he said, nodding down to Mia.
He would never let Mia think any of his situation was her fault, but she was too young to understand what he was suggesting, and he maybe wanted to let Steve know that he was a bit hurt.
“Oh.” Then, it seemed to hit Steve what he was implying. “Oh! She’s yours?”
“Uh huh. So, you having car trouble?” Eddie didn’t need to prolong this, not with Mia still whimpering and crying in his ear.
“Oh, uh. Yeah. So I kinda haven’t had an oil change since I lived here and I think my car is trying to rebel,” he said sheepishly.
“It’s been a year since you’ve changed the oil in that thing?” Eddie almost couldn’t believe that Steve would let his car end up like that.
“Well, they’re expensive in the city and I haven’t had time to do it myself. And since I’m in town for a week, I thought I’d just get it take care of here. Is that…okay?” he seemed hesitant, like maybe he was actually realizing that Eddie was a bit pissed off.
“Yeah, that’s what we’re here for. Leave the keys and we’ll get it back soon,” Eddie nodded at the counter as he started to walk around the lobby, bouncing Mia in his arms to try to get her to fully calm down.
“What’s her name?” Steve asked from much closer than he expected.
“Mia.”
“She’s beautiful. Is her mom working too?”
“No clue what her mom’s doing. Haven’t seen her since she was born,” Eddie tried not to have an attitude, but the subject was not one he liked to discuss with anyone, let alone the man who unintentionally broke his heart.
“Oh.”
Eddie looked over to see Steve frowning, his brows furrowed, lost in thought.
“Yeah. Sorry for the crying. She wasn’t supposed to be here today and her nap schedule is fucked now,” Eddie closed his eyes. “Sorry, screwed up. She normally is the happiest baby in the world.”
Steve searched Eddie’s face, then looked at Mia with a smile.
“I could hold her if you want. I’m pretty good with babies usually.”
“You have a lot of experience with babies?” Eddie asked, disbelief clear in his tone.
“I babysit a lot between shifts in the city.”
“Shifts?”
“I’m a waiter, which isn’t the best, but it pays the bills and I get a free meal on the clock, so,” he shrugged. “Anyway, I can try at least? Might make it easier for you to work.”
Mia started crying louder again, like she had realized that she still wasn’t asleep for her nap.
“Mia, baby, c’mon. You can close your eyes and go to sleep, I got ya,” Eddie said softly, trying to get her to calm down enough to rest her head on his shoulder.
He was certain she would have some oil stains on her clothes after this, but he couldn’t really find a reason to care right now.
“Eds, let me hold her for a second. You’re getting stressed out. She can tell you’re stressed,” Steve said quietly enough so no one else in the lobby would hear.
“I got it,” Eddie insisted, while Mia seemed to get more upset.
He felt like crying, but he couldn’t.
“I’m sure you do, but it’s okay to have some help sometimes, ya know?” Steve said.
Which is ironic coming from Mr. I Don’t Need Help himself.
“Fine. Here,” Eddie finally gave in, passing Mia over to him.
She slowly stopped crying, looking at Steve with wide eyes.
“Hi princess. Aren’t you so sweet? What’s got you so upset, little one?” Steve asked her, slowly starting to do a bouncing/rocking motion with his legs that had her little head drooping onto his shoulder.
She let out a loud sigh, like the weight of the world was leaving her shoulders, and Eddie felt tears pricking his eyes.
“That’s it, Mia. You can sleep right here, okay?” Steve whispered.
Her eyes were still open, but Eddie could see the long, slow blinks that told him she’d be asleep soon.
“How?”
Steve smiled at him, but didn’t answer.
“I’m gonna go back in the shop, but come get me if she starts crying again?” Eddie was pretty desperate to finish up for the day, wanted to get home as soon as possible and make sure Mia could properly nap.
“Yeah, take your time. Can’t leave without my car anyway,” Steve winked.
Dammit.
Eddie ignored the stupid butterflies in his stomach, ignored the way his heart skipped a beat, and turned to go back into the shop.
He couldn’t let Steve have an effect on him, not now, not after the hurt he’d caused him.
———————————————————————
He told himself that his constant looking through the glass window to the lobby was just to make sure Mia was okay.
He told himself it had absolutely nothing to do with how hot Steve looked pacing around the lobby slowly as she slept on his shoulder.
He told himself that the way Mia was holding onto his shirt and drooling on him wasn’t adorable at all.
He told himself it didn’t hurt that Mia looked like she could be Steve’s just as much as she could be Eddie’s.
“Dude, the oil is spilling,” Jesse said from behind him.
Jesse was their newest hire, worked every Saturday and most afternoons while he got through his certification program at the community college.
“Shit,” Eddie turned back to Steve’s car, rushing to put a new can under it so the rest of the oil could drip into it.
“You good, man? You seem a little out of it today,” Jesse checked.
“Yeah, yeah. Just wasn’t ready for bringing Mia today is all. I’m fine,” he said with his attempt at a reassuring smile.
“I can finish this one up if you want. You can get Mia ready to go since this is the last car,” he offered.
“Nah, it’s that guy’s car anyway. He’s watching her,” Eddie said as he checked over a few other things under the hood.
Adam had turned the music off when he finished his last car, his station almost cleaned up.
The shop was as quiet as it ever gets, which is the only reason he heard the loud laugh coming from the lobby.
His favorite laugh.
He looked over to see Steve dancing around with Mia, bouncing her around, booping her nose, tickling her neck.
Steve was laughing while Mia smacked at his cheeks excitedly.
She was babbling something, but he couldn’t quite hear it through the door and window.
“Can Adam and I head out, then?” Jesse asked, wiping his hands on a towel he kept in his pocket.
“Yeah, man. Thanks for your hard work today,” Eddie said, giving him a pat on the shoulder.
Adam waved from his spot and gave him a wink as he looked over at Steve holding a giggling Mia.
He’d come out to Adam accidentally on his first day. He made a joke about how he probably should have celebrated his graduation with a man so there was no risk of pregnancy, and then froze.
He could have passed it off as just a joke, but Adam looked at him, tilted his head, and said, “yeah, me too.”
They’d been good friends ever since.
Eddie shook his head at him, didn’t want him to get any ideas about Steve being more than just a temporary babysitter.
Adam shrugged, like he wouldn’t push, but that he knew there was more to it.
They both left out the side door of the shop, and Eddie followed to lock it behind them.
He heard the lobby door open and looked over to see Steve walking in with Mia.
“Hey, you closing up?” Steve asked, smiling down at Mia still.
“Uh, yeah. She okay?” Eddie asked as he opened up the bottle of oil he needed to pour into Steve’s car.
“She’s great, aren’t you Mia? Just needed a power nap. Happy as can be now,” Steve tickled her side and then smiled at Eddie.
“Mama! Mama!” Mia was saying, slapping his cheek with her hands.
Eddie paled.
“Uh. Sorry. I didn’t even know she knew that word. I’ll take her,” he rushed to say, trying to wipe his hands off on his pant legs.
“Oh, it’s fine. Babies her age are just trying to put any word together with the sounds they know. She doesn’t actually think I’m her mama.”
“Right,” Eddie sighed. “I’m almost done.”
“Mama!” Mia said again, and Eddie had to turn away to hide his face.
A part of him was hurt, thinking how unfair it was that Mia didn’t have a mom. A bigger part of him was upset that she’d decided to do this with Steve of all people.
And a tiny part of him was jealous that she hadn’t quite put together any form of Dada yet.
“Is that your daddy over there? He works real hard, huh?” Steve was saying to her, and Eddie could feel his eyes on his back as he worked. “You’re gonna be a big helper someday aren’t you?”
“Ha!” Mia exclaimed.
“Yeah, helper!” Steve said.
Eddie hated that he was so good with her.
He hated that he was picturing a future with Steve and Mia, images moving rapidly through his head of Steve and Mia cooking dinner together while Eddie cleaned up after a long day at the shop, of Eddie and Steve having date night while Wayne watched Mia, of all three of them going to the park, dropping Mia off at her first day of school.
He blinked it all away.
Those thoughts were dangerous.
He finished up, closing the hood of Steve’s car and removing the drip pan from underneath. He lowered it to the ground and turned back to see Steve watching him with his bottom lip between his teeth.
“All set. Oil change, filter change, labor is usually $40, but since you were such a huge help with Mia, I can give you 50% off,” he said.
He would probably get questioned about it, but if he ended up having to get the rest taken out of his paycheck, so be it.
Steve, no matter how he felt about him, had done him a major favor today when he didn’t have to. He owed him something and this was the best he could do.
“Oh, I didn’t mind. She’s an angel. Plus, wouldn’t want you to get in trouble.”
“I won’t. It’s fine. I insist.”
Steve shook his head.
“Nah, I’ll pay full price.” He poked Mia’s cheek and smiled at her. “But I wouldn’t turn down dinner?”
Eddie’s eyes widened.
“Dinner? No offense, but I don’t think dinner is really in my budget, man.”
Steve huffed a small laugh.
“No, no. I meant, like I could treat you to dinner. Tonight or tomorrow?”
“How is treating me to dinner payment for you watching my daughter?” Eddie asked confused.
“Just is. Please?” Steve asked.
“Um. I can see if Wayne can watch her tomorrow night?”
The confusion only grew when Steve excitedly jumped up and down, waving Mia’s hand in the air in excitement.
She was giggling and saying “mama” constantly, which was no longer embarrassing, but definitely not ideal.
“That’d be amazing, Eds. I’m staying with the Hendersons if you wanna just call and let me know what time works for you,” Steve said.
Dustin hadn’t mentioned.
Steve was staying with the Hendersons and Dustin hadn’t even mentioned this to Eddie.
Dustin was the only person who knew about his pining for Steve besides Wayne, and he hadn’t even fucking mentioned.
“Oh, Dustin, uh, didn’t say you were staying with him. Or visiting at all for that matter,” Eddie said as he handed Steve his keys.
“Really? He told me you were excited to catch up,” Steve’s brows furrowed.
“Did he?”
Steve handed Mia over to Eddie, looking a bit lost all of a sudden with his hands empty.
“Yeah.” Steve reached into his back pocket for his wallet and took out $40. “Do I need to sign anything?”
Eddie took the $40 and put it in his pocket for now, and watched as Steve transformed from a happy, confident person to a shy, unsure version of himself.
“Nope, all good.” Eddie stepped closer to Steve for a moment, sucked up his pride, and waved Mia’s hand at him. “Say bye to Steve, sweetheart.”
“Ba!” Steve smiled at her. “Mama!”
“Bye, sweet girl. Maybe we can hang out before I go?” Steve turned to look at Eddie, silently begging to see Mia again.
“If you want to, sure. I mean, you could also just come over for dinner tonight if you want. I was gonna make spaghetti. Wayne’s at work. I’m sure Mia would love to have someone to play with while I cook,” Eddie knew he’d regret it, but Mia would be happy to have someone keeping her company on her play mat while he worked on the sauce.
“I don’t wanna interrupt your night or anything-“
“You aren’t. I’m not the best chef in the world, but it’s edible. And I’m sure if you’re living with Robin, you’re not eating homemade meals very often,” Eddie lightly teased.
“And what makes you say that?” Steve’s hands went on his hips.
Eddie’s breath left his body.
He’d missed Steve.
He’d missed his bitchiness, his care, his smile, the way he always watched over them all, even when they didn’t deserve it.
“Just figured you two would have been on the news for accidentally burning an apartment building down by now,” Eddie shrugged, trying to appear more nonchalant, but knowing he was failing miserably.
“I’ll have you know I’m a great cook,” Steve said. “I have to be or else we would end up on the news because Robin burnt our apartment building down.”
Steve smirked at him and Eddie was a goner.
He cleared his throat and patted Mia on her back when she startled in his arms.
“So, how’s six sound? I usually have Mia in bed by 7:30 so we have a pretty strict evening schedule,” he said, hoping his voice sounded even and controlled unlike his thoughts that were far from it.
“Six is great! I just have to run by the Sinclair house to bring Erica her gift first.”
“You got Erica a gift?”
“No, Erica picked out the gift, told me not to show my face in town unless I brought it, and then gave me the exact time to bring it,” Steve admitted.
“Sounds like Erica,” Eddie laughed. “What did the queen insist on you buying her?”
“Some D&D book? I dunno, I live near a shop that has a bunch of tabletop game stuff and she said they would have it so I wrote down the title and went there and they did. I may never recover, emotionally or financially.”
Eddie laughed again, but this time, Steve smiled, a light pink dusting across his cheeks like he was proud of himself for making Eddie laugh.
“Well, those can get pretty expensive. I’m sure she’ll be happy to have it though. Anything that helps her kick all our asses is always good with her,” Eddie said.
“That’s what I figured. So six? You still at the same place?” Steve asked.
“Yeah. Key is under the plant by the steps so come on in.”
“Oh. Okay,” Steve nodded, looking down at his feet. “Do you want me to bring anything?”
“Nah, just yourself and your patience for Mia’s antics.”
“She’s your daughter so I expect shenanigan after shenanigan.”
“Hey!”
Steve threw his hands up and walked over to his car.
“Just saying!”
“Do you hear this, Mia? And you call this guy mama,” Eddie said, tone serious.
He was too busy looking at Mia to see the way Steve blushed as he got into his car.
“See you at six!” Steve said before closing his door, starting his car, and backing out of the shop.
Eddie closed the shop door behind him, then gathered up Mia’s things into the diaper bag made just for the shop.
“You ready to go home, superstar?”
Mia snuggled against his shoulder, probably still sleepy from not having her full afternoon nap.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
He set the $40 on the counter with a quick note saying what it was for, in too much of a rush to do a full receipt for it.
He hit the lights, and locked the front door before making his way to his van.
Mia was asleep on him, her slow breathing and occasional snore making him smile.
“Oh, we’re in big trouble now, aren’t we Mia?” he whispered before he set her in her car seat.
He knew he could just go into this knowing he couldn’t get attached.
But he knew he already was.
He always had been.
Probably always would be.
260 notes · View notes
ahundredtimesover · 2 years
Note
we need a please love me argument or something drabble from after they got married and confessed their love for each other!!11!
Hi, they're back! Just a reminder to think of OC's personality bc this is already a 'fight' for her hehe. I don't know how this is bc I'm not in my best form but I still hope you enjoy 🥰
Title: Please Love Me Bonus 07 - The Fight
WC: 14,953
Tags/Warnings: angst; mentions of pregnancy; hospital setting/talks of illness that might be inaccurate (I just based some off my own experience)
Series Masterlist
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It started small.
It was a fleeting moment that you barely missed it - one exhale and you felt that knot in your chest that once was familiar. You brushed it off, not thinking much of it. It wasn’t the first time, yet all those other times, once was enough and it didn’t happen again.
But this time wasn’t like that; this time, you felt it once, then another time, then another, the long intervals between knots getting shorter and shorter. 
You try to even out your breathing, grounding yourself so you can listen more to what your body is saying, to what your heart is saying. It starts to work as you count the seconds and the minutes because it starts to go away. It may have taken a lot longer, but just like those other times, this one ends, too.
You’re unable to process what just happened as your phone rings, your husband’s sigh greeting you on the other end.
“Hey, Kook. Everything okay?”
“No. One of the associates gave me wrong figures and I overlooked some elements for my presentation tomorrow,” he groans. “I was gonna stay up late in the office but I’m too pissed off. Are you still at the studio? Can I pick you up?”
“Yeah, I’m just working on my last design,” you reply, already packing up. “And sure. I can call your favorite Japanese restaurant and we can pick up the food on the way home. Is that okay?”
“Yes please. That’s what I really need right now. And you. Be there in 15.”
“I’ll see you, hun. And chin up, you’ll be okay.”
He hums his goodbye and you feel the tiredness from his voice, and the earlier ache in your chest is now replaced by worry for your husband. 
Jungkook rarely lets the toxicity of his job affect him, so hearing him frustrated is something you’re not used to. You feel for him, as the new project he’s taken on is a big one, and you just know he wants nothing more than to prove himself to his family this once. He’s begun having bigger responsibilities after all, and he’s said as much that he wants to step away from his brother’s shadow and be his own self, show that he’s just as capable and can get things done his way, too.
A small smile tugs on your face, knowing that a good meal and some encouragement from you might do the trick. You call the restaurant and head outside once he messages that he’s nearby. 
Mr. Yu, the chauffeur, stops the car and Jungkook exits, enveloping you in a hug and mumbling his hi. He doesn’t even give you time to properly greet him back, as his body curls into yours and you feel him exhale - a deep one, as if he’s been holding onto his breath the whole day. 
“Hi,” you smile, kissing his nose. “The food will be ready in a while. Let’s pick it up and we can talk, okay?”
Jungkook nods and leads you inside, immediately taking your hand like it’s his lifeline. He asks you about your day first and you narrate how it went - ocular of a hall you’ll be designing and then art class for the kids in the afternoon. Then he talks about his - the tense meeting with the staff member who gave him outdated information, the conversation with his father about the expectations for this upcoming project, and having to skip lunch to help his Japan team troubleshoot something. 
“I’m exhausted and my head has been hurting all day but I’ve got so much to do,” he exhales deeply before falling into your lap, your hand reflexively combing his long locks that has him moaning at your touch. 
“Hmm. And how much coffee have you had today?”
“Five cups,” he answers with his eyes closed, his breathing steadying now as you start to massage his temples. 
“That’s 3 cups too much, hun,” you say softly; he said he’d regulate his caffeine intake and you know he’s been trying. 
“I know, I’m sorry,” he sighs. “It’s just been tough, but this is nice. Let’s eat then I can work in the dining room while you watch Masterchef or something?” 
You hum your yes, saying you’ve actually got some design studies to work on so you can both work together downstairs. 
And that’s what happens as you put away your dirty plates after dinner and settle in your respective spots. Jungkook likes to work with you around when he’s at home, only staying in his office off your bedroom when he’s pulling an all-nighter. Having you close calms him down, he’s always said, as your soothing voice and presence give him the most comfort, even if it’s just a quick look at your expression as you watch TV or your sweet laughter or your tender words. 
“You look serious there, babe,” he looks over at you from the dining table. “You’ll get wrinkles if you frown too much.”
“I can’t find the right art piece for this one wall,” you groan. “This is gonna keep me up.”
“Maybe you just need to sleep on it. I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” he comforts.
“Hmm, maybe,” you say, your body slowly giving up as it yearns for the bed, chest pains already forgotten. “Join me?”
You walk towards him and sit on his lap as he asks you to, your arms wrapping around his neck.
“Probably in 2 hours or so. I wanna get this presentation finished tonight,” he pouts, apologetic.
“Okay. I’ll wash up and go to bed. Rest soon, okay?”
He holds you a little longer for his goodnight kiss, tickling you before letting you go. 
You walk to your room and fall asleep right away, suddenly feeling as if you’d run a marathon today when your body hits the bed. It seems to have been happening more frequently, though - feeling incredibly tired at the end of the day, whether you had a full-packed schedule or a light one. You went to a boutique store yesterday and painted at home then felt dizzy and faint by the evening. 
It’s 4 hours later when you suddenly wake up, a mix of that knot on your chest and shortness of breath almost jerking you off the bed. But you catch yourself, turning to the side to see if you’d somehow disturbed Jungkook’s sleep, but you’re surprised to find he’s not there. You see light coming from the office and your husband’s mumbling, and so you get up and walk over to him.
“Kook, it’s past 2,” you stand by the door and sleepily call out to him. “Come to bed.”
“Baby, what are you doing up?” He turns to you with a frown, his long locks almost covering the glasses over his eyes.
“Just woke up. It’s hard to sleep without you,” you frown back. 
“Sorry. I’m finishing up already,” he turns again towards his laptop.
“You can do that tomorrow. Just wake up early but sleep now. You’ve had a long day, come on.”
With you standing behind him and your arms around his neck, you pepper his cheeks with kisses to further convince him, knowing you need to shower him with affection so he’d listen to you. 
And it works, as he chuckles and turns his laptop off. He heads to the bathroom to wash up while you lay in bed facing his side as you regulate your breathing again, feeling the tightness subside with every set of breaths. 
He lies down next to you and kisses your lips before you turn around so your back faces him, his arms enveloping you, with him pulling you as close as he possibly can. Jungkook buries his head in your neck and finds his peace there. 
“It’s hard to sleep without this, too,” he hums. “Love you. See you in my dreams.”
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It started small, like it always does. 
A pinch in the muscle - one, two, three seconds longer than usual; one, two, three instances more than what you’ve been having. You try to take a breath, knowing it’s what’s always worked, but it doesn’t this time. This time, your chest feels tight, too, like something is keeping you from breathing, like you’re gasping for air in the large space of the art studio. 
“Hey, do you need some help to pack up?” The teacher for the next class asks; you can already hear the giggles of her little students not far away.
You try to pick up your tools from the desk but your hands and arms feel numb. This will take time, you think, so you smile at her and nod, letting her put away some of the palettes that your kids have left behind. You walk slowly, unable to fully feel your legs, too, and that’s when you start to panic.
“Everything okay?” She looks at you worriedly. “You look a little pale.”
“Oh? Just tired, I guess,” you fake a smile. “I’ll just, uh…”
“Rest, ___. You’ve been working hard on your project and your exhibition. You don’t want all that to catch up to you.”
Too late, you tell yourself, as the helplessness that once was familiar starts to overtake you. You just nod and assure her, then fortunately manage to walk out the street for fresh air and take some medicine. You’re relieved that those at least work, lessening the pain that you’re feeling. 
But you know you’re not out of the woods yet, and so you raise your arm to hail a cab, thankful that the hospital is only a 15-minute drive away. 
You settle in the backseat, ready to dial Jungkook’s number when you read the text he’d sent an hour ago - I don’t know why I’m so nervous, babe. I’ve barely eaten anything all day. But thanks. I’ll let you know how it goes. 
You’d messaged him earlier, wishing him well for his presentation today, and you know how much this means to him. He’s worked so hard on this; it’s a big project and the directors have got their eyes on him. There’s no way you’ll add to the stress that he’s been experiencing for the last few weeks. 
It’s a little past 2 and he’s set to present a quarter before 3. His palms are probably already sweating as he dries them on his shaking legs. He’s never been nervous for any of soccer matches even when he was a teenager, but you’d understand if this is the one thing that’s making him lose his cool a little bit; he may never directly say it but you know he just wants to impress the big bosses, and that includes his father and yours. 
You decide against calling him for now. Your breathing has evened out already, and you still think it’s just one of those moments and there’s nothing to worry about. You were always told that this could still happen, after all, but that doesn’t necessarily mean a relapse. It happened a few years ago and all you did was have a change in medication and all was fine after. Like then, this may as well be just a minor thing that you can easily get over on your own. You’ll call Jungkook after you know more about what’s happening to you, knowing he’ll be asking anyway, and not giving him an answer immediately will just scare him.
The emergency room has less people than you expected, although you can say you’re probably the calmest out of all the patients there. Given, you’re in one piece and not puking your guts out so you believe you’re fine, but the attending physician doesn’t seem convinced, as you narrate what you’re feeling.
“Your heartbeat is irregular and your blood pressure is quite low,” she informs you after doing the basics. She looks through your record and confirms your condition. “No relapse since your surgery 15 years ago,” she reads. “No reported abnormalities, no alarming findings… but these are still from last year.”
“Yes, I’m due for my annual check up in 2 months,” you say, as you sit on the hospital bed. 
“Well, seems like you’re due now,” she hums, excusing herself to make a call then returning to you. “Dr. Kwon is just finishing with surgery so he’ll see you after, but I’ll have you run some tests already. We’ll call you for x-ray in a while. We’ll take blood samples as well just to be sure.”
You nod, suddenly feeling nervous. These tests are routinary for you at this point; you take it every year every time you have your check-up, the one you’ve been having since the surgery that corrected your heart over a decade ago. 
But you’ve never had to come back to the hospital out of your usual schedule ever since you fully recovered. Because any pain you’d felt since then was never serious; it never lingered, it never left you feeling breathless or numb. It never got you feeling weak, and it definitely never had you feel this anxious because it had never hurt this way. 
It’s 3:30 by the time you finish filling up all the forms, and though you know nothing more than an irregular heartbeat and low blood pressure, you decide to send Jungkook a text to let him know where you are, knowing his presentation would be done by now. But right as you’re about to, the technician calls your name for the x-ray, and it’s not until several minutes later when you get your phone back and decide to just give him a call.
He doesn’t pick up after the third try, so you go for your next option and call Junghyun, as he knows that you only ever call when something is up.
“Hey, ___. You okay?” He answers. 
“Hi. Is Jungkook still presenting?” Your voice quivers. 
“He’s done but he’s somewhere in front answering questions,” Junghyun responds.
“Did he do well?” You ask, wanting to know.
“He was really nervous but everyone was impressed,” the older man smiles. “Were you the one calling him? He left his phone in his seat and I saw it light up.”
“Yeah, I, uh… Once he’s free, can you just let him know that I’m in the ER? My chest felt tight and—”
“You’re what?” He almost yells, his voice in a panic. “What happened? How are you feeling now?”
“I’m fine… I think,” you sigh. “It was just chest pains. I’ll see Dr. Kwon in a while then I’ll know more.”
“Fuck, okay. Who’s with you?”
“Just me.”
There’s a pause in the other end. “What are you doing now?”
“Waiting for the next tests. Can you, uh, can you let Jungkook know once he’s done there?”
“I’m telling him now, ___. You’re in the emergency room and he needs to be there with you.”
“Okay,” your voice shrivels, not used to Junghyun’s authoritative tone. “I’m being called for my ECG. I’ll, uh, I’ll be waiting for him.”
Junghyun drops the call and returns to the conference room. He immediately walks to his brother and whispers what you’d said.
Jungkook’s eyes widen in shock, worry and distress painting them. He quickly excuses himself and runs out the door, leaving the older man to explain to their father and yours what had happened, both of whom panic as well and make calls. 
It’s another red light that Jungkook beats, and he makes it to the hospital in 15 minutes, almost half of the usual time it takes to get there from his office. He asks around the ER where you are, and he’s directed to a room where he finds you lying in bed, looking perfectly normal, save for your furrowed brows as you seem to be answering messages on your phone.
“Baby!” He exclaims, rushing towards you and taking you in his arms. “What happened? What hurts?”
“Hey, honey,” you look up at him and smile nervously. “I’m fine, I just…”
“Babe, you can’t be fine when you’re here. Your check-up isn’t due in 2 months. What… what brought you here?”
“I was, uh, I was having—”
“___,” the familiar voice of Dr. Kwon calls out for you, prompting you to turn to him. “I wish I could say I’m happy to see you before our scheduled check-up, but it’s never a good thing seeing a patient here before I’m supposed to.”
“Hi,” you smile, returning his hug. “I suppose it isn’t. But I didn’t know what to do. It was getting too painful.”
“Tell me what happened,” he instructs.
And so you do, telling him of the times you’d experienced this since your last meeting, and how it had hurt too much earlier, forcing you to come here. Jungkook holds your hand the entire time, and you’re immersed in your narration that you miss the way his jaws clench and unclench as he listens to your stories.
Clearly this isn’t the first time it’s happened, although it’s the first time that he’s hearing about it. It seems like you’ve been experiencing this and chose not to tell him.
“What do you think may have triggered it?” Dr. Kwon asks.
“I don’t really know,” you shrug. “I mean, I’ve sort of been doing the same things - working at the firm, doing my own pieces, teaching art classes… just focused on my regular job.”
“Looks like it’s 2 jobs too many,” he responds, his eyebrow arching the way that doctors do when they catch you doing something you shouldn’t.
“I rest and exercise and take my medication,” you counter. “All the work is fine. It’s an imperfect heart we’re working with, you know?” You giggle, trying to diffuse the tension.
Dr. Kwon just shakes his head and returns to his records. “So you’ve got the x-ray and ECG done. You’ll have blood tests after this then we can do the 2D echo in the evening after I schedule it. I’ll need you to be confined for the other tests.”
“What other tests? Can’t I come back tomorrow and do them then?” You ask, not really keen on spending the night at the hospital. 
“It’ll be easier to monitor you from here, especially since the pain seems recurring. But I’ll schedule the stress test and MRI tomorrow morning so you can go home right after,” he responds. “Better ask someone to pack you and your husband some clothes. I’ll have the nurse pick you up to bring you to your room; just wait here.”
You nod as Jungkook lets go of your hand. 
“You’ve had 2 tests done already? What time did you get here?” He asks, his voice low and disappointed.
“Around 2:30,” you respond casually. 
Jungkook feels his own heart rate shoot up. It’s 4PM, and he’s sure it was just half an hour ago when his brother had cut off their discussions to tell him that you’d called about your whereabouts. The fact that you didn’t call him - your husband - much earlier is making him incredibly upset. He wants to ask you why you’d delayed it, why you’ve been keeping all this from him, when you planned on telling him if it didn’t get this bad.
But knowing you, you’d pick up on this, and he doesn’t want to add to you feeling any more pain that you apparently have been experiencing, so he takes a breath and lets things go for now, and he just nods. 
He gazes at you looking pale and nervous, and he tries to think of how you may be feeling - back in the hospital when you’d believed everything was already okay. 
“Baby,” he says, cupping your face so you’d look at him. “We have to believe that things are fine, alright? That this isn’t serious. Worrying too much might make things worse.”
They’re things he doesn’t fully believe in himself. He doesn’t know what’s going on. He never experienced this with you; he hadn’t even known about your condition until 3 years ago, and he doesn’t know how you are when you’re in pain and what you need him to do or be for you. But he has to put aside his own concerns because this is about you, and the only thing he knows to be right now is strong so you can take that strength from him, too. 
You smile, much more genuinely than you did earlier, and Jungkook thinks it’s a good first step. 
“I’ll be okay, hun. Sorry I pulled you out of your meeting. Junghyun said that you did well, though,” you say, pulling him into a hug, your arms finally wrapping around his waist while his envelopes around yours. 
“Yeah, but it doesn’t really matter. You were here in pain while I was doing my presentation when I could’ve been with you,” he replies, trying to temper his voice. “I could’ve screwed up or completely missed it for all I care.”
“Nonsense, Kook,” you turn to him again. “You’ve been working so hard on that. I managed to get here on my own.”
You rest your head on his torso, not seeing his hardened and helpless face at how you casually dismiss what you’re experiencing and talk about his work like it’s all that matters when you’re the one in the hospital right now. 
You still should’ve called, he wants so badly to say. I would’ve come here right away. But he decides against it. He was never good at bottling his feelings; he supposes he needs to learn that from you. He does it anyway, knowing that this isn’t the time nor place to get mad at you for it. 
“Kook, can you be the one to talk to my mother?” You ask, giving him your phone. “She’s been calling and I’m too dizzy to rehash everything.”
“Okay, I will,” he responds, guiding you to lay on the bed and letting you take a nap first.
He calls your mother, then his, then your brother and sister, and then Nari and Yeji. There are so many people to update about your status but he pushes through it, despite the same words of you experiencing pain and needing to be monitored for the night becoming harder and harder for him to say. 
“She seems fine, just looks tired as of now,” Jungkook informs each one. “We’ll know more tomorrow.”
They’ll drop by in the evening, they all say, and he’s thankful that there’ll at least be distractions, and he won’t have to be with you alone for long. He supposes that’s better, otherwise he’ll be tempted to push for answers on why you kept all this from him. 
He calls Mr. Yu and Mrs. Na and instructs them to prepare your clothes for your stay and bring them over to the hospital. “Please buy a box of macarons on your way here,” he tells the chauffeur. “And her chamomile tea as well.”
Jungkook sits on the chair next to you and watches you take your nap. He sees you take deep breaths and he can sense your struggle, causing him to worry once more. You catch yourself and jerk awake.
“Was it hurting again?” He asks.
“A little,” you respond, raising yourself up off the bed. 
“Just keep breathing. Here, drink some water.”
You follow as he says, and that’s when the nurse arrives and informs you that the VIP room is ready. You’re led there by wheelchair - an all too familiar scene - and Jungkook helps you lie down on the bed. The nurse takes blood samples and informs you of the scheduled test in 2 hours then leaves you right after.
“Tell me about your presentation,” you urge your husband. “What did they say?”
Work is the last thing that Jungkook wants to be talking about right now. He hates thinking about being in that room while you were here and all alone. You smile tenderly, as if you really want to know what took place, so he forces himself to think about it. 
“That the project proposal was well-designed and well-thought out. I set out the plans and the entire process and got to show the expected outcomes and return of investment,” he explains. “They said it was sound and profitable, and that they were surprised I pulled it off on my own.”
“It’s silly that they still doubt you,” you frown. “Of course you’d pull it off. You’re innovative and incredibly hardworking, honey. They should know that by now.”
“Nah, I'm used to it,” he shrugs. “They’d take every chance they get to remind me that I’m not my brother.”
“And you aren’t, because you’re your own self with your strengths and own conviction. And don’t tell Junghyun, but you’re definitely funnier.”
Jungkook manages to chuckle a little, and your smile grows at the sound. “That last bit is definitely true,” he hums. “Thanks, babe. Though I didn’t mean to be so down.”
“Not at all. I just wanted to remind you of how good you are,” you comfort him, reaching out your hand that he takes. You sit up and pull him close. “You’re so good at so many things. Remember that.” 
You cup his cheeks and kiss his lips, something you realize you haven’t done since he got here. It’s slow and gentle, which is exactly what you need after a scary experience; all you’ve been wanting is his touch and the comfort you get from being close to him.
Jungkook indulges you, kissing you back with just as much tenderness, and you smile against him, knowing that whatever happens, you have him next to you. And as long as he is, there’s nothing to be afraid of.
The knock on the door pulls you both apart, and you hear the familiar voices of both your parents and siblings who all hug you one by one. 
A flurry of questions about how you’re feeling and what will happen next overwhelm you but you should’ve expected this; no one really thought you’d be back here after all these years. 
Shortly after, your friends arrive and you have to say the same things, and you fumble for Jungkook’s hand next to you to keep you stable. 
You dislike this part - the one where everyone is worried and no answer or assurance from you would be enough, and you hate that they have to go through that anxiety of not knowing as well. But you just smile through it and downplay the pain. 
“It’s probably nothing; it’s more like a precaution thing, you know?” You reason. “I’m fine. Please, don’t worry too much.”
You mask the desperation with your smile, and you’re almost glad that Dr. Kwon enters and informs you that the nurses will start prepping you for your 2D echo. 
“Mr. and Mrs. Kim,” he greets. “Not so great to see both of you.”
“Likewise,” your parents chuckle. “It’s never a good thing being back here, huh? But what happened? Why is she experiencing this so suddenly?”
“Well, your daughter did say that the chest pains have been recurring,” he responds. 
“They have?” Your parents frown at you.
“They weren’t that bad,” you reason. “I mean, they weren’t painful to warrant a visit.”
“But this time it was,” Seokjin crosses his arms, looking disappointed. “And to the emergency room at that.”
“I didn’t faint or anything,” you reason. “Look, I’m fine now. It’s probably just stress. ”
“___, what did I say about stress? You’re not just like anyone who can experience it and then be fine. It’s not that simple,” Dr. Kwon warns. 
“I know,” you whisper, feeling like that 13-year old child again who felt helpless when she was first told of the many things she couldn’t do despite having a normally functioning heart already. You’d like to think you’ve followed all the rules since then; it’s just lately when you’ve been more brave and wanting to do more.
“But is she going to be okay?” Soyeon asks this time.
“I suppose. The test results aren’t alarming and it seems it’s still bearable, but we’ll know more tomorrow,” he responds. “For now, she just needs to rest and take things easy.”
Everyone nods in agreement. The door opens with the nurses taking you away to be prepped. Jungkook kisses your forehead and tells you to just push through it and that it will be fine; you always said you disliked the pain from this specific test. 
Back in the room, Jungkook feels light-headed. Perhaps he’s still reeling over seeing you on a hospital bed, being wheeled out and leaving him behind to wonder how much pain you’re in or how your heart looks like. Maybe it’s being in the room with your family and friends and all their questions that he doesn’t have answers to. He thinks it’s this new experience for him - this kind of fear that he’s never experienced before. It’s probably all of those, so he excuses himself to buy some snacks in the store just to get out of there.
Seokjin promptly follows his brother-in-law. “I want some snacks, too,” he responds after the younger man looks at him questioningly. 
They walk in silence for a while before Seokjin asks. “Did you know about the other times?”
“No,” Jungkook almost whispers, his hands in his pockets as he mindlessly walks down the hallway. “She also only called earlier after 2 tests were done. I feel so fucking useless.”
“Hey, you aren’t, okay?” Seokjin sighs. 
“If I wasn’t then I should’ve known about all the other times, and I could’ve convinced her to get checked earlier. Then she wouldn’t have needed to come here like this; then it wouldn’t have been this painful,” Jungkook responds, his voice more helpless now.
“Kook, you wouldn’t have known if she hadn’t told you. You’re not together 24/7. I love my sister but sometimes she tends to brush things off like that, thinking that the short-term burden of her sickness will just go away. But not this time. We just have to believe it’s not serious.”
Jungkook just nods, all the thoughts screaming at him and he just wants to lay next to you but also be away from you because how could you keep something like this from him. 
There aren’t any more words exchanged, but Seokjin stays with his brother-in-law as they buy snacks and walk towards the wing where you are, probably currently squirming in pain as your chest is being pressed to get that image of your heart. 
It’s some time later when they hear Dr. Kwon’s voice, calling for them.
“Jungkook,” he says. “It’s not surgery. You don’t have to be waiting here.” There’s a soft smile on his face, however, so that calms the younger man down a little.
“Just wanted to immediately know how she is,” he responds. “___ said she doesn’t like this test.”
“Ah, yeah she doesn’t,” Dr. Kwon chuckles. “She would pout her way out of even if she knows it won’t work. She did say she wished you were there with her though, holding her hand.”
“But what did you see?” Seokjin asks. 
“A tired heart,” Dr. Kwon replies. “I honestly hope that’s all, but I’ll have to look through all the test results to be sure that there isn’t anything else.”
Your husband and brother sigh in relief. 
“But keep an eye on her, okay?” The doctor tells Jungkook. “She mentioned feeling pain when she’s asleep so watch out for that. She just needs to breathe and be soothed. The tests tomorrow will tell me more but I can already tell you that she needs to rest.”
“I’ll make sure of that,” Jungkook responds, his eyes softening at the sight of you smiling when you see him.
“You were waiting for me?” You ask.
Jungkook only nods but your brother responds, “everyone was so noisy in the room so we walked around. And got some snacks.”
You smile at them as they walk with you while being wheeled away to your room. You enter and sense the aroma of beef bone soup, and Minhyuk grins proudly at your satisfied face.
“You always said that hospital food didn’t excite you,” he says. 
You express your thanks and the nurse announces your need to rest after dinner, prompting everyone to decide on leaving already. 
Seokjin, who’d earlier sensed your husband’s own stress, whispers to him. “Just hold it in for now, okay? She’ll be alright.”
As the last parson leaves, Jungkook sits next to you on the bed and you both eat the delicious meal. He surprises you with the dessert he had bought and prepares your tea as you like to take before sleeping.
“Thank you, Kook,” you exclaim, kissing his cheek. “I’ll just wash up so we can both rest.”
“Do you need help?” 
“I’m fine, I can do it in my own,” you assure him, disappearing into the bathroom. 
Left alone for awhile, Jungkook takes to heart what your brother had advised him - hold it in for now. Knowing that you tend to absorb your husband’s own emotions - as you’d said once that it’s natural for you, that it’s how you get to empathize with him - he does as he’s told. He holds it in - the disappointment, the sadness, the doubt… and tells himself that this is about you and what’s best for you right now. 
You finish up and he helps you in bed, then he washes himself, exiting the bathroom in his shirt and pajama pants. 
“Do you want me to sleep next to you?” He asks. “You always said it’s hard to sleep without me.”
He gives the idea, knowing that it’s the only way for him to know if you feel pain while in slumber. He doesn’t think he trusts you in telling him otherwise. 
“Yes, can you?” You ask excitedly.
“I guess? It’s a big bed. I’m sure we’ll fit.”
So he scoots in next to you as you give him space, and you immediately wrap your arms around his torso as he wraps one around your shoulder. He supports himself against the headboard with his other arm behind his head.
He lets you listen to his heartbeat, confident that they’re perfectly normal, as if he isn’t buzzing deep inside.
“So how was your day going before all this happened?” He asks to eliminate the silence that’s suddenly feeling awkward for him. 
“I was just at the studio,” you respond, snuggling next to him and enjoying the comfort of his warm body. “I got to finish a design study and then had class with the kids.”
“Did it start hurting then?” 
“Hmm, right after, just when I was fixing up,” you say, slowly dozing off. 
Having your class schedule memorized because it’s your favorite thing to talk about, Jungkook knows what time that was, and he knows you could’ve informed him then if you wanted. But you didn’t. 
“So you just came here on your own?”
“Yeah,” you hum. “I hailed a cab. It’s a good thing that the hospital’s just near the studio.”
What if it wasn’t, he thinks. What if you were driving when it happened? What if there were no available cabs and it took long for you to get here? What if you were somewhere else where no one knew you? What if something worse had happened, and then he wouldn’t have known it at all because you waited so long to call him? 
“Why didn’t you call me?” He manages to ask. 
Somehow he has an idea of what you’ll say. You’ve only been married awhile but he knows enough about your courteousness, how you don’t like to burden other people, how you always put others before yourself. You’d developed that attitude because you don’t like being fussed over; you dislike having others worry about you. He noticed it earlier when you took his hand and held onto it tightly as your loved ones asked how you were feeling. And so he knows what’s coming next. He just didn’t think it would hurt and anger him this much.
“You were busy with work, Kook,” you mumble, and he knows you’re about to fall asleep. “Felt like I could manage and I did.”
What if you didn’t, he thinks again. What if it was someone else who’d called him? What would he do then?
“Sorry,” you add. “Just didn’t want to worry you.”
He hears you take a long breath and the succeeding low snores let him know you’ve fallen asleep. It’s been a long day for you, after all. 
It’s been a long one for him, too. But unlike you, he’s filled with too many emotions to fall asleep. And contrary to what you wanted, he’s worrying even more. He’s worried about your condition. And he’s worried about himself. 
Hold it in for now, Seokjin had told him. 
Jungkook will try. But he doesn’t know for how long he can, and he doesn’t know how he’ll deal with you - how you’ll deal with it - once he’s unable to keep it in anymore.
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Jungkook didn’t get a wink of sleep. Other than being unable to because he wanted to make sure that he’d be awake should you feel any sort of pain, he also couldn’t help but think about what you’d said. 
In your few years of being married, you’d had small and brief arguments, mostly stemming from how incredibly different you both deal with emotions and conflict. 
You tend to be unnecessarily courteous at times and too patient. You also prefer to let tension fade rather than addressing it, so more than half the time, any negative emotions you have are kept in and rarely ever mentioned. You don’t hold grudges, though, and you easily forgive, unlike Jungkook who’s always very transparent about what he feels. He talks about things, and he always talks about them with you, whether it’s about you or something else. 
Despite all this, your little misunderstandings never escalated. They never really lasted, because more than half the time, he’s the one crawling next to you, hugging you tightly and saying that he doesn’t care whose fault it is, just that he wants to be okay again. He admits that a lot of times, it’s on him. He gets too emotional, too proud, too shortsighted, and unable to let things go. But right now, he doesn’t care if he’s all of that. He’ll feel what he’s feeling; he just won’t be able to express it fully.
The knock on the door puts him out of his thoughts. The nurse enters and Jungkook has to wake you for your MRI and stress test today. 
“You’ll be okay to wait here?” You ask, as you watch him from the bathroom door.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just think about what you’ll do this morning. Don’t worry about me,” he says dryly. 
“Okay, I’ll see you after.”
You’re wheeled out and Jungkook allows himself to fall asleep. He’s still exhausted from preparing for his presentation yesterday, and he’s dealing with too many thoughts in his head about you, about both of you, and an hour or so of slumber is what he needs.
He’s awoken by a phone call over an hour later, and he’s reminded that he failed to inform his team that he won’t be going to the office today. Perks of being the CEO’s son, he tells himself, but he also can’t bring himself to think about work and the project that he has to fine tune for immediate implementation. 
All he can think about is you. And despite feeling anger and hurt, he also just wants you to feel okay. He hopes that deal that your parents made with the universe when you were born - the one where they asked to keep you alive and they’ll give you a life you’ll be happy with in return - holds up for the longest it possibly can. Regardless of what he feels about you, he also knows that seeing you smile can make him forget about his own pain.
And that’s what happens, albeit temporarily, when you return to the room and see a breakfast spread prepared for you, one that Jungkook had asked Mr. Yu to buy.
You smell the carnations that’s come with your meal and your face lights up.
“Where did you get this, Kook?”
“There’s a flower shop in the other building,” he responds. “Thought that can make you feel better.”
“Of course,” you say, walking towards him where he’s seated on the day bed. “But you’re also here and that's really all I need.”
Then why didn’t you ask me to come earlier, the question rings in his head. But he lets it stay there. For all the times that he’d willingly and easily put you first, he didn’t think that holding all his emotions in for your sake would be the hardest. 
He hugs you back then lets you rest your head on his shoulders as you talk about the tests and that you have 2 hours before Dr. Kwon can meet you for the results and diagnosis. 
You and Jungkook use the time to eat, take a shower, and pack your things. It’s not long after when you’re in your cardiologist’s clinic where he explains your condition.
“As I suspected, your heart is overworking,” he says. “Fortunately, the tests show no holes, no enlargement, or any other complications.”
You breathe a sigh of relief and take Jungkook’s hand. You didn’t want to be thinking of the worst and this is definitely not it. It had hurt so much yesterday that you were almost sure there was something severely wrong again, but this is actually welcome news. At least it’s something you know; it’s something that you can deal with, and it’s something you can easily address.
“What’s causing it?” Jungkook asks.
“Stress, perhaps. And lack of sleep,” the doctor answers, turning to you. “I know you’re eating well and exercising, but there’s still so much you’re doing. All that mental and physical and emotional exhaustion pushes your heart to overwork, to pump blood more than it’s capable of doing.”
“What does this mean, then?” Your husband asks once more. “I mean, what should she do? Will it get worse? How can we prevent this from happening again?”
“She should rest. And I mean, rest.” Dr. Kwon glares at you to emphasize his point. “Take a few days off from work, do some very light exercise, and have a change in medication. It will only get worse if she doesn’t let her heart breathe, if she doesn’t let it take its time to do its job properly. I know it sounds simple but that’s really it; there’s no shortcut to it. It’s just something to be done consistently.”
“Okay,” you hum. “I can take the week off. I can just turn over my design studies at the firm and then get back to it after. And the kids will understand if I don’t see them this weekend. My exhibition also isn’t in 3 months so I have time to get back to my pieces.”
“___, I don’t mean to rest for just this week,” he responds. “You’re gonna have to rethink all the work that you’re doing because it’s too much for you, and this isn’t me telling you what you can or can’t do. Your heart is functioning normally, but it’s still relatively weak, weaker than a normal one’s. Sure, there are things you can do now that you couldn’t before but being perpetually stressed isn’t one of them, okay? And I feel that as long as you’re doing all those things at the same time, you’ll always be at risk.”
“So you’re telling me that I have to let one of those go?” You look up at him, feeling heartbroken that you’re gonna have to give up one of the things that’s been giving you so much joy.
“It’s more practical than cutting off your time in all those. It’s still work, ___. As long as you’re doing all of them, you’re gonna keep spending time on them, and you won’t even notice it.”
You sigh, knowing he’s right. You do so much on a normal day; work doesn’t end even on the weekends. It just doesn’t feel that way because you get to do it at home and you manage your own schedule and you genuinely enjoy it, but you have been feeling the exhaustion all over your body. You know there’s more to lose if you don’t follow his orders.
“Okay then. The next exhibition will be my last for a while,” you announce, deciding right then. 
“Are you sure, babe?” Jungkook asks, surprised. He thought for sure that that would be the last thing you’ll let go. “Don’t you have invitations in Paris and Mexico?”
“I can pass,” you smile faintly. “I’ve still got commissions that I’ll spread out. I’m sure the patrons will understand. There’s this big project at the firm that I’m so excited to do and I can’t abandon my team. And the kids…” you sigh, “I love them too much. They take my stress away so I can’t let go of the art classes that I teach.”
“But you’ve been waiting for the shows, too,” Jungkook reminds you. “Those are huge and not easy to get invited to.”
“I know but there’s gonna be another time,” you say. “And if there isn’t, then that’s fine. I can always paint, Kook, even when I’m gray and old. But all the other things? I can still manage them. I wanna help my team, I wanna teach the kids… those things matter more.”
Other people always matter more, Jungkook tells himself. Your art is what you’ve loved your whole life, he knows that much. 
“It’s really up to you, but it’s good that you’ve thought about it already,” Dr. Kwon says. “You just really need to stabilize your heart for now. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
“I will,” you smile at him. “And uh, I just want to ask. This won’t affect any future pregnancies, right?”
You nibble your lips, and Jungkook can see the nervousness in your eyes.
“Not unless it’s immediate. Are you both—”
“No,” you interject. “I mean, if it happens then it does but we aren’t really… uh,” you turn to your husband, knowing that despite the last conversation you had about this months ago, you’re still unsure of how comfortable or open he is talking about this. “We haven’t planned everything out yet. But I just wanted to make sure that this whole… overworking heart thing isn’t going to risk me and our future baby. I don’t… I don’t know how I’ll handle a complication.”
“Your condition will always be a factor but you’re not in any more risk than you were before this incident,” Dr. Kwon assures you. “You don’t have to give up everything. But just always consult and make sure you rest. That's really all I can tell you.”
“I’d give it all up when I’m pregnant if I need to,” you giggle, missing the way Jungkook’s gaze saddens at your words. 
Clearly that desire hasn’t waned, and the worry on your face at the thought of what this scare could mean to your future family - one that he’s still not able to give you - says a lot. But that scares him, too. Would you be open about your struggles once you’re pregnant unlike what you’re being now? Would you be honest and open? Would you let him carry your burden with you?
“Well, I guess that’s it, then,” Dr. Kwon announces, handing you the prescription of your new medication. “I’ll see you again in 2 months for your regular check-up.”
You bid your goodbye and head out, taking Jungkook’s hand as you walk to pay the bills. He doesn’t say much, merely humming to your musings the whole time - when you head to the car, on the way home, and when he decides to take an afternoon nap. 
That night, after you both had food delivered for dinner and have washed up, you wait for him in bed as he sends emails to his staff. You kiss him goodnight and turn your back towards him, ready for his tight hug and his nuzzle on your neck. But he doesn’t.
He merely gently lays his hand on your hip and doesn’t pull you close. He doesn’t kiss your shoulders nor tell you he loves you or that he’ll see you in his dreams like he always does. 
There’s silence where there shouldn’t be, and you slowly fall asleep to drown out the worried thoughts in your head. Maybe he’s just tired, you reason to yourself. Maybe he’s still processing what just happened. Either way, it’s just tonight, and you know your husband - he’d never been able to resist you. And you let that comfort you. Tomorrow, things will be back to normal. Tomorrow, you’ll wake up and fall asleep in his arms again.
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The mid-morning sun peeking through the blinds provides you with much needed warmth that you’d missed last night. There was no arm wrapped around you, no hot breath on your neck or soft lips on your skin. It felt cold, even with the blanket covering your body, and you have half a mind to go to Jungkook’s office for that morning kiss that you didn’t get and which usually wakes you a little everyday.
But to your surprise, you hear his voice, deep and low as he gives instructions to whoever it is he’s speaking to. You get off the bed and find him in his office nook, in an online meeting with his team. As it looks, he probably decided on working from home to look after you. 
You know that he has to iron out details of the new project and delegate tasks to his team. Those from the Busan and Daegu offices have to be briefed, too, and you can just imagine how much is on his plate yet he’s home because of you. Sighing, you turn around to head to the bathroom when his voice stops you.
“___? Everything okay?”
You look at him and see that he’s turned off his video, his questioning eyes greeting you.
“Yeah, just feeling a bit bad that you have to be home when you should be out there with your team,” you share. There’s a small, selfish part of you that’s glad that you get to spend time with him, though it’s not something that you say.
Jungkook shrugs. “We can manage. Are you feeling better? No pain or anything?”
“Better, yes. And no, no pain,” you reply. “Have you eaten?”
“Yeah,” he responds. “I asked Mrs. Na to stay over for the next few days since I’ll be working from home and I won’t be able to cook for you. She’s downstairs so just tell her what you want.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll go there, then,” you say dryly. You wish he could join you but then again, he’s working from home; he’s not on a break or anything. 
“Just call me if you start to feel anything different.”
You nod and quickly wash up before heading to the kitchen for breakfast, chatting with Mrs. Na. It’s been a while since you’ve caught up with her, the woman who looked after you growing up. 
That whole morning, Jungkook heads downstairs twice only, both times to grab coffee and ask you if you’re feeling okay. You are, and much as you want to tell him not to worry, you want him to seek you out. It seems as if that’s the only time he’s interested in speaking to you, anyway. He’s worked from home a few times and just like when he pulls all-nighters, he’d always insisted on having you close by. 
Not today, though. Ironically, it seems as if he’s home to keep you at a distance. That night, he sleeps late, and so do you. You wait for him to come to bed, ready for even his slightest touch to assure you that he’s here. He does come to bed at 2AM, but the touch doesn’t come. You take a peak over your shoulder and there he is, on his side of the bed, with his back turned against you. 
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Jungkook insists on seeing your families that weekend - Saturday with yours and Sunday with his. Being out of the house to feel the fresh air seems quite the experience. You’ve only been cooped up in your house for a few days but you already feel like suffocating, even more with your husband’s passiveness towards you. 
Just as he continued to work at home, so did his minimal conversations with you and absence of affection. He’s kissed your hand a few times and it was only because you were cupping his cheek, but he doesn’t do more, doesn’t say more. You’ve come to expect nothing from him, if you’re being honest. 
You watch from the kitchen of Junghyun’s home as Jungkook speaks to Yeri, massaging his temples, and your sister-in-law, a doctor, seems to be instructing him on what to do and what to take, scribbling something on a pad and giving it to him. 
You reckon that his headache hasn’t gone away, but you wouldn’t know how painful it is because there’s nothing about him now that he’s sharing. He used to pout at you to tend to a small paper cut but somehow, he just can’t bring himself to tell you how he’s feeling and where it hurts. 
“You holding up okay?” Junghyun interrupts your thoughts. 
“For the most part, yeah,” you respond, glancing at your husband again who’s now laid his head on the couch, his eyes closed shut.
“And the other part?” Junghyun cocks an eyebrow.
“Just worried about how stressed Jungkook is,” you sigh. “I wish he’ll give himself time to rest. He barely sleeps. I… I don’t feel him close, especially at night.”
“Well, the project is at its planning stages and he’s managing all the teams from home,” the older man explains. “And then there’s you.”
“Me, the burden,” you sigh, hating the thought.
The older man is familiar with your musings. It’s why you didn’t want people knowing about your condition; it’s why you didn’t want Jungkook to know. You always despised being someone’s baggage, and right now, Junghyun thinks it’s what you feel.
“You really scared him, you know?” He nudges your shoulder to get your attention back that’s focused on your husband. “He’s experienced a car accident, getting lost in a cave, skydiving… yet he’s never been more scared than finding out that you were in the hospital. He looked even more helpless that he wasn’t there with you. And as his brother, I was afraid of how he was gonna take it. You know how he is.”
“Exactly. He worries a lot. Too much sometimes,” you agree. 
“As he should, especially since you don’t. Or at least, since you don’t show it.” 
With your silence, he knows he’s right.
“You were scared, too, weren’t you?” He asks this time. 
You nod, fighting back the tears. “I’d forgotten how it used to hurt. I kept thinking that it was gonna subside, you know? That it was gonna go away right away but it didn’t. And I just didn’t want him to worry too much. I didn’t want him to be scared because I was. I didn’t want him to carry that with him if there was a chance that it really was nothing. I don’t like seeing him helpless, Junghyun. I don’t like seeing him feel like he’s not enough to make it not hurt.”
“I don’t think that’s something you can control, ___. You’re his weakness. There’s nothing that scares or hurts him more than your fears and your pain. That’s kind of what love is, you know?” Junghyun continues. “That’s part of being married. And when you have children, you’ll learn that it’s part of being parents, too. You can’t be the only one carrying it all. That’s what having a partner is all about. It isn’t just you. And it isn’t just about you.”
Jungkook wakes up from the nap he didn’t realize he’s taken and finds you, wrapped in his brother’s arms who seems to be whispering something in your ear as well. He can sense it’s another one of those comforting things that Junghyun’s always given you, and while Jungkook has long accepted that special friendship you share with the man you look up to, it doesn’t take away the small bit of envy over the fact that you trust Junghyun, that you let yourself be honest with him. 
It’s an accepted fact by everyone, including Seokjin who knows that his overprotective tendencies compared to Junghyun’s calm nature have led you to open up to the latter one more. 
But for Jungkook to see you get comfort from someone else who isn’t him and be hurt by it makes him feel hypocritical, especially since he’s been distancing himself from you, too. He only checks up on you just so he won’t lose his mind, but he doesn’t know anything else. 
Are you scared or worried? How bored are you at home? What do you wish to do? Is there a place you want to go to? Do you miss his touch as much as he misses yours? Does it hurt you to be close to him as much as it hurts him? Do you feel angry and disappointed like he is? 
Jungkook wouldn’t know. He also doesn’t know how he can love someone so much yet feel so powerless, so useless, so hurt by them. Your love always made him better, but he didn’t think it would ever let him down like this. 
It’s not pure jealousy he feels when you finally pull away and smile at Junghyun. It’s a mix of emotions, really. Jungkook wants to comfort you but he feels upset. He misses you but he doesn’t want to say anything that would hurt you. He wants to be the one you run to but he can’t bring himself to be close to you. He wants you to feel his love but he doesn’t know how to show it.
You meet his eyes as you turn towards the living room, but Jungkook looks away. He busies himself on his phone and keeps to himself during dinner. He holds your hand during the car ride home when you reach for him and then lets you lay his arm on your waist when you both sleep that night, with your back against his chest while he feels you still so far away. 
He doesn’t get to sleep much just like every night. He worries you’d feel pain again. Somehow he wants to be alert enough to know you’re still breathing; he needs the sound of your soft snores to assure him that you’re alive, that you’re still next to him despite his unwillingness to be close. 
Is this what love is like behind closed doors? He’d been surrounded by his family and yours and only seen the happy parts of it. When it came to Jungkook’s past relationships, he broke it off after the first fight because he didn’t think it was love if it hurt or made him angry like that. 
But now there’s you, and even if he feels every possible negative emotion out there, all he thinks about is just how much he loves you. All he knows is that he can’t live without you. But right now, he also can’t deny that he’s upset. 
Maybe love is like this, he thinks. Once the honeymoon phase has lapsed, your differences surface, and you have to learn how to navigate it all without losing yourself and the other person, without drowning in the depths of both of your shortcomings, and  then coming out the other side still intact and willing to learn and grow. 
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Monday comes and you wake up to the sound of keyboard typing once again. Jungkook hasn’t been going to the office despite needing to physically meet the teams who’ll be working on the project, and you hate that he feels like he has to babysit you even if you’re perfectly capable of looking after yourself. Mrs. Na is home; you don’t want Jungkook to have to give up even more than he needs to. 
You don’t bring it up though, not wanting to interrupt him during his incredibly busy day, as he goes from one meeting to another. It’s the next day when you wake up to the same scene that you finally suggest going back to work.
“Hun, you can go to the office, you know?” You say sleepily as you stand by the door. “I’m sure it’ll be easier to manage everything from there. I’m fine here, I promise.”
He turns towards you as he types on his phone. “And if you aren’t, would you call me?” He looks at you pointedly. “Will you let me know this time?”
They don’t seem like rhetorical questions, but they’re not something you want to answer, given the hint of bitterness in them. Jungkook says it blankly, almost devoid of emotions that it shakes you because of how unfamiliar he sounds. 
You don’t answer, and he faces his laptop to continue with his work. “I’m fine here,” he repeats your words. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
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You let the next 2 days pass while slowly retreating into yourself. You’re bored out of your mind but you can’t do anything remotely productive or entertaining. Much as you can sneak in time to paint, there’s no thought or inspiration that’s pushing you to create something. The TV shows suddenly seem boring without Jungkook to talk about them with, and even your books can’t keep your attention long enough past one chapter. 
It doesn’t help that you can hear your husband’s frustrated groans as he gets off a phone call or as he types away. His raised voice echoes from his small office down to the living room. You want to let him rest, relieve him in some way, or comfort him like you used to do, but you don’t think any of those would be welcome. He’s told you enough with the absence of his touch that he doesn’t want any of that.
If you’re being honest with yourself, you don’t think he wants you right now either.
Jungkook surprisingly goes to bed early that evening, and he’s tucked under the covers by the time you lay next to him after a warm bath. 
“You feeling alright?” He asks with his eyes still closed, as he feels the dip on the mattress. 
“Yeah,” you muster enough energy to respond. 
“Okay,” he hums, turning to his side away from you again and by now, you’d be surprised if he didn’t. 
You turn on your side, too, content on just imagining his soft smile and the sparkle in his eyes when he speaks to you. Those have gone away somehow, and there’s a twitch in your heart that’s not caused by overworking; it’s caused by the feeling of distance you didn’t think you’d ever feel with the man you’d promised to love your whole life.
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It’s afternoon the next day when you find yourself more frustrated than anything. You wanted to go to the park and get some fresh air but Jungkook insisted on going with you, commenting once more that you may not call him if something comes up. It usually takes a lot to make you irate but his snide remarks and aversion towards you have slowly been eating you up inside.
You decided against going out, not wanting to take him away from work, especially as you’d heard him raising his voice at someone on the phone, his groans echoing throughout the loft once more. 
You always loved being around Jungkook. Whether he was busy at work, frustrated over something, or being needy or clingy, he makes you feel wanted. It’s the random kiss on your cheek or his loving glance or the way he’d affectionately call you ‘baby’ or when he’s finally next to you and he doesn’t want to let you go. But right now he’s being confusing - he wants to be where you are but he somehow finds it difficult to be around you, to talk to you, to look at you, to be close to you.
“You should go for a run or head to the gym or something,” you tell him from the living room when he heads down to the kitchen for a glass of water. 
“Why should I?” 
“So you can release your frustrations elsewhere,” you turn to him, looking him straight in the eyes but he looks away. “Your desk will break if you hit it one more time. And you’ve been snapping at your staff and that’s not how you should be treating them. Just go, take a break. Work can wait. You just need to clear your mind.”
“And if I go, would you call if something happens?”
It’s that line again, but by now it’s gotten old. 
“Nothing will, and if something does, I won’t be alone,” you respond. “Yeji and Nari are coming. I asked them over, so you can go spend time on your own. I know you want to, since you can’t seem to stand me. You won’t talk to me, you won’t look at me… might as well just spend a few hours away from me.”
Maybe then you’d start missing me, you don’t say. 
“Fine, I’ll go when they get here.”
He doesn’t refute, he just accepts. In your mind, that’s him agreeing. A part of you hoped he’d say you’re wrong, that you’re just imagining things, or maybe explain why he’s been acting the way he has. It isn’t like him to bite his tongue and not express himself through words. He’d never had a problem doing that, you remind yourself. 
It isn’t like you to let your emotions get the better of you, too, as you let a tear fall when he heads back to your room with no other words said. 
He hears your friends arrive, as not long after they do, he hurries down the stairs and walks out the door, his jacket hood over his head and his gym bag slung over his shoulder.
“Okay, talk to us,” Nari says, as she watches the exchange between you and your husband, a rare sight indeed, as all she’s known of both of you since falling in love was that unabashed joy and affection that’s infectious and heartwarming.
Folding your knees and hugging them tightly, you pout then let the tears fall. “He hasn’t held me since we got back from the hospital,” you say. “He barely talks to me, he doesn’t look at me. He’s cold and irritable and distant, l…” 
You take a deep breath and lean onto Yeri’s shoulder when she pulls you for a hug. “He’s been working at home but his presence is so intimidating and tense.”
“Maybe it’s just work,” your best friend reasons as she hugs you tighter. “Isn’t there a big project that he got approved? It might just be the pressure, you know? And what happened to you is worrisome. Maybe it’s all just piling up.”
“But he’s never been like this,” you insist, sniffing and trying to find your voice. “He doesn’t just ignore me or act like I’m not around. Even with our small arguments before, he’d never spoken to me coldly or bitterly. He’s never…” you trail, feeling the ache in your heart at the newness of this, of this feeling of being unwanted or needed. “Oh god, I feel so silly. I totally sound like a spoiled, bratty, needy wife.”
“Hey,” Nari nudges you and takes you from Yeri, wiping away your tears and urging you to stop excusing your feelings. “You aren’t being silly. If he’s making you feel that way, then he should be a grown up and tell you directly why, not ignore you and make you feel bad about it. You just went through something terrifying, ___. He should be comforting and taking care of you.”
“Do you know why he’s acting that way?” Yeri asks now. “Because I feel like I do. I mean, knowing you and him, it’s not that hard to figure out.”
It’s your tear-stained face and pouty lips that give it away that you have an idea, too, and both women know that as your best friends, they need to be on your side while also knocking some sense into you.
“Why didn’t you tell him what you’ve been experiencing?” Yeri continues. “Why did you keep it all from him?”
“I thought I could just brush them off without having to make him worry,” you finally answer after a long beat of silence. “If it was nothing, then I didn’t want to burden him with unnecessary things.”
“___, we’ve talked about this,” Nari groans, frustrated because this has always been her issue when it comes to you, how you just brush things off for fear of worrying your loved ones about your condition, without realizing that you’re making the other person feel distrusted, unworthy, powerless. It’s this unnecessary courtesy that she always felt you developed as a coping mechanism because of how overprotected you were growing up, being doted on and treated like a fragile doll who couldn’t break a sweat or be inconvenienced in any way. 
“It’s hard to unlearn,” you mumble, knowing what she means. The only way you felt like your illness would stop defining you was if people didn’t know it still affected you. 
“So what, you’ll just let it affect your health again like this? And now your marriage, too?” She counters. “I know you don’t want it to, so unlearn it faster. And talk to him. It’s the only way.”
You nod, knowing that some days, you just need your best friends to spell out the things you already know, because somehow it makes sense when they’re the ones telling you. 
You sit in between them, anxious about how you’ll face Jungkook when he returns. You were never good at this, and during the few times you and your husband had fought, he’d been the one to initiate talking and working things out, insistent to hold onto your promise to each other of not sleeping until you’ve resolved your issues, no matter how late it already is. But now, he seems to be the one who’s letting it drag on, not wanting to address it or even acknowledge it.
Nari and Yeri help you prepare dinner, as you’d let Mrs. Na go home to attend to family matters. The stew smells amazing, but to be honest, you don’t really have the appetite for it.
They leave after cleaning up, and you’re left with your own thoughts in the quiet of the loft that’s gotten colder, lonelier the past week.
Your heart leaps out of your chest at the sound of the door opening, and you watch in pain as Jungkook merely walks past you and heads towards the stairs. 
“Kook, talk to me,” you beg, voice low yet desperate. “Please. I can’t do this anymore.”
This stops him in his tracks and he turns around, his jaw clenched and his eyes unreadable. 
“I can’t,” he says, turning away. 
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to say things I’ll regret. Because I’m angry and upset and I can’t express any of that when you can have another relapse or something.”
“I don’t care,” you exclaim. “Say whatever you want to, and say it now. Because that’s way better than you blatantly ignoring me. Your hurtful words would be better than none at all.”
“Yeah, because I’m the one who’s hurting you, right?” He says, his voice getting louder now. “I’m the one who doesn’t trust you, who’s not honest with you, who keeps secrets and shit… I’m the one who’s at fault for worrying about you being in pain and then being upset that you kept it all from me. Right? You’re the only one who’s hurting? And not me?”
“That’s not what I meant,” you huff, feeling the tears pool in your eyes again. 
Jungkook decides against saying something, exhaling deeply instead and massaging his temples as he paces around the living room. 
“I was in that fucking room presenting some fucking project while you were in the ER, all on your own, taking tests and just waiting to be told if your illness is back,” he says, seemingly restraining himself. 
“If I could spare you the worry, I would,” you argue. “I just wanted to make sure that it wasn’t anything serious before—”
“Before calling?” He scoffs. “You’re my wife and I won’t forgive myself if anything bad happens to you! So what, you were just gonna wait there for bad news and not let me be there for you? What if it was worse and you didn’t manage to get in a cab? What if the hospital was far away and you fainted? What if something was wrong with your heart again? And then I wouldn’t have been there because you didn’t fucking call! Because I didn’t know you were experiencing all that in the first place! Because of all the things that you chose to keep from me, it was this. As if hiding it from me our entire lives wasn’t enough.”
There it is, all the what-ifs in Jungkook’s mind that he’s always been so scared of. He’s never brought himself to envision you in any sort of pain but then you were, and the intense fear of what could’ve happened swam in his mind, and there’s nothing worse than feeling powerless to protect the love of his life from all that.
“If this is about you feeling guilty that you’re not able to do anything–”
“Fuck it is! That and more!” He yells, the frustration overtaking him. “Don’t you get it? I can’t stand you in pain, and I can’t stand it when you feel like you have to bear it on your own, like you have to spare me or something. Yeah, I’m fucking terrified, but I’m still your husband. And you tell me these things,” he heaves. “I’m sorry I worry, or that I overreact or become dramatic and overly cautious, what do you expect? But you can’t hide this from me. I can’t not be your first call. That’s not fucking fair.” 
“Kook, honey, I’m sorry,” you cry, trying to reach out for him but he pulls his arm away. 
“Are you? You knew what you were doing, ___. You chose not to tell me the first time, and the next, and the one after that. And I had to fucking learn it from my brother again and I just…” Jungkook stops, and you look at him to see that he’s crying, the pain in his eyes so piercing that it’s probably gonna haunt you for days. 
“I know you’ve always turned to him and he’s someone you can be honest with but… why can’t you trust me that way?”
“You know that’s not it,” you try to explain. You know that as much as you can reason that you only called Junghyun because Jungkook wasn’t picking up your calls, your husband would argue that you could’ve called way earlier, and he’d be right.
“Then what is it, ___?” He asks, and you realize that the most painful thing he can say is calling you by your name. 
“You… you’re always the first for me,” he continues. “Whatever I’m feeling, whatever I did that day, you’re the first person I think about, the one I need to tell everything to; you’re always my first call. It’s always you because we promised each other. Through the good and the bad, it’s me and you. And keeping that promise was never hard because I want it to be you. Because I trust you. And to realize that it’s not the same with you just fucking sucks, okay?” He huffs, sounding defeated. 
“What else are you not telling me? That you’re taking more art classes because being with those kids compensates for us not yet having our own because I’m fucking terrified of what that would mean for your health? I mean, how the hell can we have our own kids if you can’t even communicate with me? If you can’t even tell me what you’re feeling? If you don’t even trust that I’ll do everything to ease your pain and be there for you? How could you think that anything else is more important than you are?”
The sob that escapes you is immediate. The scene feels familiar, as the last time you’d cried this hard in front of Jungkook was years ago, in this exact spot, but this time, you know this is on you. 
His words should be comforting - he loves you, and he loves hard, he loves openly, bravely, unapologetically. But all you can see is the hurt in his eyes. And all those times that you promised yourself that you wouldn’t let your illness define you feels stupid and hypocritical now, because here you are, hurting the man you love because you wanted to carry the burden on your own. But as you’re learning, being someone’s partner means sharing all that with them, and trusting that you’ll pull through together. 
Jungkook watches you cry and this feels familiar, too. He never really fully got to remove this very scene from years ago out of his mind no matter how hard he tried. Nothing hurts him more than seeing you like this, but much as he wants to hold you in his arms, he’s afraid to find out that it wouldn’t be enough. 
“I’m not really hungry,” he finally says, changing the subject because he honestly can’t bear talking some more. “I’ll sleep in the guest room tonight.”
He turns around and heads towards the hallway and closes the door, leaving you rooted on the ground to watch him walk away.
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There’s a different kind of pain that’s filling your entire body. The one caused by your illness is purely physical, as if you could feel it only the very structure of your organ - it’s straightforward and familiar, something that medication and a few breaths could relieve. 
But the one you’re feeling now is different - you feel it all over. There’s a ringing in your head of all the things that Jungkook had said. Your mind is going through all the times he’d called you first, or put you first, or followed through his promise of sharing his world and his heart and his soul with you. There’s that feeling of something missing - his fingers in between the spaces of yours, his arms around your waist, his soft lips against your own. There’s that absence of the affectionate tone of his voice and his boyish laughter, and it’s like without those, you can’t hear anything at all.
The past week has felt like a month of being without him, or at least, being without his comfort and security. It’s like being stripped off of your basic necessities - everything is hard without him, everything is worthless and unhappy and incomplete without him. 
Is this what it feels like when you carry everything on your own? When you restrain yourself from sharing your fears and your burdens and your pain with someone else? Because sharing the joy - the good things - doubles it; and now you know that sharing the bad things increases it, too. 
You sigh and wipe your tears, thinking of how much more you need to learn about love and marriage and being someone’s lifelong partner. Your grandmother once said you’re so full of love, and you wonder how you could’ve possibly failed at giving it to the person you love the most.
Knees bent against your chest, you hug yourself for that warmth you need, but you aren’t enough for it, as you should know by now. On the other side of the door in the hallway is the person you need, the person you want, the person you love, and there’s no way that you’re going to let him sleep all alone tonight.
Mustering up the courage, you get on your feet and stand outside the room. You want to keep a promise this time, about not sleeping until you’ve both resolved the issue, or at least made up somehow. You don’t want him to go through even just one night thinking that you don’t care enough to face him, to be uncomfortable, to be accountable, because you are. And you want him to know that. 
The door creaks open and you find Jungkook in bed, lying on his back with one arm over his eyes. It’s already been half an hour and you’d be surprised if he’s still crying. But you don’t miss his clenched jaw and fist, the frustration clearly still evident. 
You walk towards the other side of the bed and slowly position yourself - close enough for the distance not to feel too much, but far enough for him to still pull away. 
You reach out for his hand and he flinches a little, but when you uncurl his fingers so you can caress them, he lets you. The sight of your name tattooed on his finger makes you cry again. 
He doesn’t like playing soccer or hitting the gym with his ring on, but he doesn’t want - “even for a second,” he’d said - for there to be no trace of your marriage on him. “Seeing it makes me smile,” he’d told you. “I got to marry the prettiest woman on earth and I know when what I do is over, she’ll be there waiting for me.”
Jungkook has always put you first, in every sense possible. Junghyun told you once that his brother has always sought a high from being reckless, from doing what he wanted, when he wanted, but he’s never wanted to do anything right as much as when it comes to loving you. 
“I don’t have an excuse for how I handled things, and I handled them pretty terribly,” you start, your voice shaking. “I never got to outgrow that selfishness, that need to always prove to everyone that I can handle things on my own. And it’s because of that that I hurt you, Kook. It’s because of that that you’re feeling like I don’t trust you, that you’re not my first call. And I’m so, so sorry.”
His lips quiver, and he nibbles them to keep himself from sobbing again.
“I’ve needed help and assistance for more than half of my life and that feeling of weakness frustrates me; it makes me uncomfortable because I don’t like burdening others. And you’re right, I’ve been unfair to you; I’ve been unfair to us. It’s this fear of disappointing you, of seeing you scared that makes me think that you don’t need to know trivial things like that and I was wrong. I’m so wrong, Kook,” you continue. 
“Because all I’ve wanted this past week was to be with you and tell you I’m scared, that I miss you, that I wish you could comfort me, that I’m so bored and that I want to go out but I want to go out with you. I wanna tell you that my students sent a video, hoping that I’m feeling better and that they’ll be waiting for me. I wanna tell you that I learned how to make egg noodles, and that I’m craving pork soup. I wanna tell you that the medication and rest are working because the chest pains are gone but the palpitations are few and far in between now.”
Wiping your tears, you see that Jungkook is pressing his arm harder on his eyes, and the way he heaves tells you that he’s crying just as much as you are.
“You’ve always tried to understand me and give me my space,” you say. “You’re patient when I don’t open up right away. You make sure to make things easy for me, that I always feel protected and loved and I don’t ever want to take that for granted, Kook. I want to be better; I’ll do better. I’ll love you much better. I just—”
Dark, glassy eyes that are looking at you cut you off, and you see the sadness in them, the care and affection and apology and forgiveness. And somehow, this makes you cry even more. 
Jungkook gently nudges your hand that’s still holding his, and it’s your cue to throw yourself next to his side, your arms immediately wrapping around his torso. He’s warm and safe like you remember, even more when he tightens his hold after you cry harder, with your head laid on his chest. 
You can hear his breathing and his occasional sniffles. You try to inhale his scent with your stuffy nose, but even if you barely can, you know he smells like comfort, and like always, he smells like home. 
“I don’t like it when you cry,” he says softly after a while. “Doesn’t crying make you palpitate or something?”
“A little,” you respond, peeking up at him. His eyes are drier now, but they’re focused on the ceiling. “It was faster earlier but it’s slowed down now.”
“I’m sorry,” he turns to you. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to say those things the way I did.”
“Don’t be,” you respond, wiping your tears. “I had to hear them, and I don’t blame you for how they came out, either.”
“I… I don’t think I’m angry anymore but I’m still upset,” he says softly, apologetically. “I wish I wasn’t but I just…” he trails.
“It’s okay,” you look at him and smile. “I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry. Take your time. I’ll just be in our room.”
“Okay,” he mumbles.
He kisses your forehead, and the feel of it is all you really need to assure you. 
It’s not ideal. You wish you could sleep next to him, maybe talk about how the past week has been or apologize some more. You don’t want to focus on the fact that this would be the first time that you’d sleep separately. It happens, you tell yourself. You’d rather that he’s honest with you like this, something you couldn’t be to him and you owe him his own space and time. 
You kiss his cheek and get off the bed. “I’ll leave the stew in the oven in case you get hungry. Good night, Kook,” you say, and head out the door.
You settle for fruits for dinner, barely having an appetite as well. You take a long, hot bath and think of all you’ve done, where you went wrong, and what you can do after all this. You meant what you said that you’re going to be better. You always knew you were lacking in many things; you’ve been told that communication isn’t your strongest suit. But you can’t let the doubts creep in because you know Jungkook, and you know you. The last thing you’ll ever doubt is how much you love each other. 
Maybe love is like this, you think to yourself. It hurts because it matters, and people fight because there’s something to fight for but it’s the kind of fight where nobody loses. You and Jungkook are different people and maybe that’s why it works the way it does, but it also doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t constantly work hard to meet each other in the middle. He does, and you will, even harder than before. Being loved by Jungkook is a gift, and being able to love him is a privilege. 
You think about this even more as you lay in bed. It’s colder without him next to you; it feels empty. But you can sleep well knowing he’s taking his own time just downstairs, hopefully missing you, too. 
He asked you to trust him. You always thought that was easy and that it just meant being faithful, that he wouldn’t hurt you. You realize now it’s more than that; that despite the fights and the fears and the tears, it’s trusting that you’re both going to be okay. 
You fill your mind with Jungkook’s smile, knowing that maybe in a few days, you’ll be blessed with that sight again. You don’t know how many scenes and memories you’ve gone through when you feel a dip on the mattress next to you and Jungkook’s arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you close to him. He nuzzles your neck like he always would, and though he doesn’t say or do anything else, you know that this is his way of telling you that he trusts you, too. That he trusts both of you.
Maybe love is like this - it's when you hold each other the tightest after a fight; it’s when you pull the other close even if neither of you wants to say anything; it’s when you’re upset but not enough to spend a night apart. Maybe it’s when you can be honest about being mad but not doubting the other person’s devotion. 
Jungkook’s warm breath against your skin eases your mind and your heart, and you know that whatever happens tomorrow, you’ll wake up with him next to you. It’s been a tough week and a hard night but you think that maybe, this is when you learn to love each other even more. 
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satanlikesmyfics · 7 months
Text
House of Balloons
a rather short fic inspired by the song 'House Of Balloons' by the weeknd, modern au
ellie x stalker!reader
an: HEAVILY inspired by a post by @elliezlils11utt
contains: drink spiking, stalker behavior
words: 850
you enter your room, locking the door behind you. you live alone, across from ellie williams. since she had noticed ellie and started watching her, she had been on another level. through your window you can see her taking out the trash and throwing it in the bin. you fantasize about her pulling your hair and grabbing you that way...
you grab your diary and write your entry about what ellie does in her daily life, gathering information and her routine to make her like you more when you're finally able to gather the courage to go talk to her. with a black pen, you write in your unsteady handwriting:
'20:58, 19th of February 2024'
'ellie brings out the trash in a black sack, throws it in the green bin outside her house. tommorow is trash day, so she perfectly timed it, like the perfect ellie she is.. after she went inside, she turned on purple leds in her room, turning off the rest or her lights. -> gets ready for bed at 21:00.'
since you've been watching and documentimg everything around her, it's like you finally have a purpose in life, since she came, no more pain. you're very very determined to talk to her soon, because tomorrow she goes for her weekly grocery shopping at the local store. you get your outfit and jewelry perfectly ready to impress.
*next morning*
you get up, get dressed and ready to go out. you make sure to brush your teeth untill they're perfectly white and spray some perfume on. you drive your bmw to the store approximately 15 minutes before ellie usually arrives. you go inside with your shopping cart and wait around the meat isle where ellie loves to buy her favorite chicken and eat it the same night, she loves chicken so much. while you pull out your phone, you hear a second cart roll behind you, towards the chicken. you whip around and there she is.
ellie.
finally you get so see her up close.. you have to remember to write down where her freckles are. you look into her eyes.. they're pale green and you notice a small scar on her right eyebrow.
"uhm.. do I know you? I can't recognize your face.."
"oh hahaha!! I'm uh.. your next door neighbor.. the blue house?"
you see her eyes light up as she remembers the house. she says she's never seen you before and you're fairly with inviting her over for dinner to 'get to know each other'. she agrees and you give her your phone number. she texts you a "hi!" and you favoritize it immediately. I mean.. it's fucking ellie??
later that night, as you finish packing up your groceries into the fridge and cabinet, you take a shower after your bit of time watching ellie. right when you get out, you hear the doorbell ring and groan in annoyance. you throw on your robe and head downstairs.
you open the door and.. oh shit.. oh fuck.. it's ellie. your face reddens immediately with embarassement. "oh uh.. I see you're a bit busy? should I come over another time or..?"
"no. well I mean, you can just wait down here, I won't be too long haha."
you hand her the tea already on the counter, you initially had made it for yourself. lucky enough, there was some ketamine by the counter you were gonna use to spike her drink. you just didn't expect to see her so soon. you sprinkle the powder into her drink and hope she doesn't notice.
"oh yeah.. sure I'll be waiting"
you practically run upstairs after leading her to the sofa and shutting the door. you get dressed in your Rory Gilmore sweater and some loose-ish jeans. while you run back downstairs though, you notice your diary about ellie lying open in the kitchen table and ellie standing in front of the door with her shoes on, with a blank stare towards the locked door.
"did you..?"
"yes. yes I fucking did. let me the fuck out. now."
you feel your whole personality switch.
"I'm afraid I can't do that, Ellie."
she turns around, scared and confused.
"you're in my world now.."
she frantically tries to open the door by jamming at the door handle.
"no no ellie.. you can stay.. you can stay."
you look at her with sorry eyes, sorry for what she will have to experience now, as the price for looking through her things.
"it shouldn't have gone this way els.."
the nickname made her visibly shiver and you can feel her must wanting to cower into a ball on the floor. only her closest friends would call her that. but of course, you had picked up on that already.
"you shouldn't have been so nosy the first time over. god, the hopes I had for us. you disappoint me."
she feels the effects of the ketamine you gave her earlier just hitting at the right moment.
"oh sweet els.. whatever happens I hope you can remember that you belong to me."
"what..?"
"you belong to me."
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max-the-many · 9 months
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Start here:
'body a day' #19: dad
Took me quite a minute to figure out his adress. Couldn't ask as I was his son. Luckily his phone got face recognition. So an hour later I was on my way out of the city to meet his, or may I say my dad.
He greeted me at the porch as I arrived at a nice little house in the outskirts.
"Almost thought you might skip it!" he chuckled, giving me a hearty half-hug grabbing my shoulders before heading towards a big heap of uncut wood that wouldn't be all of what had to be prepared for the winter. Much time to get to know him while getting to know my new body at the same time, working, sweating, seeing his older version doing just that.
Turned out, he lived alone, beeing one of those weel known, but independent wolfs after his wife left feom one day to the other.
The way he treated me, his son, though, really spoke for a big heart, making me even more horny than in the gym at the same time.
It was pretty late when we finally headed in, going for a nice clunk of golden juice infront of the fireplace.
"Don't you wanna get your stuff in" he wondered.
"My... ah, ehm..."
"You will stay for the weekend as planned, don't you"
"I... sure!" I collected myself "I... damn, totally forget to pack some"
He just laughed it off "Guess it is ur old stuff then. Gonna head for the shower, though. If you wont first"
I didn't. I was just too curious to look around while he was away. When he was, though, my thoughts had another focus. To know, that he was undressing now, getting out of those dorty, sweaty cloth, stepping under the hot shower just got the best of me.
Eventually I gave into it, went up the stairs and ended up infront of the bathroom. The sound of the water, the smell of soap and man oozing out of the slightly opened door... It didn't take long for me to open the door completely, taking in the sight of him behind frosted showerdoors.
"Jacob?"
"Sorry... dad. Cant find any matching clothes. Where did you put 'em" I improvised.
"Didn't move anything" he replied "let me just finish. I'll show you"
I left. That little sneak really got me going, longing for me. His clothes alone, laying on the counter, screaming to be sniffed, to be worn even.
Worn... my mind went for his closet. So I looked around until I found the bedroom. To open the dresser, seeing all that stuff that he wore at some time really was a sight of it own. I almost grabbed some underwear when I saw a basket of dirty ones, going for it at once, fishing out some tighty whities to dive in when I heared the water stopping.
So I rushed back downstairs, chucking the underwear right into my crotch.
"Free to go!" I heared the old one shortly after, so I did, still having a major twitch against that whity if his. At the showers though it wasnt only that. Seeing myself, looking back as his son gave me the rest, sniffing his well-worled pits, injoying his shape under the shower, thinking of his old man while pumping out a major one.
The evening went pretty relaxed, chatting, sitting infront of a nice fire with some nice rye. I couldn't keep myself from reaching down every once in a while, partly out of pure horny, partly out of curiosity on his reaction.
Other than that I broad up some rather particular topics like jerking of. I planely asked if he caught me, as his son, doing it, going further about his own experiences which he answered surprisingly open. My handling though didn't get less at those instances, but he kept chill about it. He never saw his son or crashed into such occations, but as we talked I figured, he would have been totally fine with it. Even as I constantly reached for my crotch now, which he couldn't really ignore, he didn't loose a single word about it.
And I left it like that, injoying my little game, hightened even since I wore the very underwear I took from his dirty bin underneath.
Eventually we went for bed. There I layed, strippee down to just that tighty white brief of the hunk of a dad, laying mere meters away, twitching right there, thinking of him, of me, that dad-son-couple I encountered st the gym, now beeing all in, dying go make a move.
And after slumbering away a little I got up. I just had to, beeing driven over in thar early night, step by step, taken just wearing tjose briefs, eventually Peeking through the bedroom door.
The dad seemed to be asleep as I saw his broad, naked shoulders under the blanked. Quietly I stepped in, slowly, with a pulsing heart, staring at him with tenting groins. I couldn't do otherwise nut getting even closer. He appeared to be deeply asleep.
"Dad?" I whispered. Nothing. So I stepped closer already recognizing the smell from the bathroom if not imagined. My hand reached out like moved by it's own.
Suddenly a twitch!
But i moved on, clearing my throat to further test his state.
When I touched the blanket I felt my heart with every breath, his presence, his warmth. Then I slowly pulled on it. No reaction. Pulling on, bit by bit, revealing his back, inch by inch until... a clean, white waistband got visible. No way. As I pulled further, it got confirmed. He too was only wearing one of those tight, white briefs spanning my hips, moving under heavy twitches from his sons pulsing tool.
I couldn't stop, reaching ever so slowly towards his hairy chest, barely touching it when he suddenly churned, along with deep, sleepy moans. My hand remained. And he remained sleeping, allowing me to fully cup those meety pect, even massaging them the slightest bits while shivers ran theoughout my whole body.
I was so captired by the whole situation that I even didn't realized my hand touching my crotch, massaging it through the aalready damp fabric. His pleasant sighs didn't affect me less. So I continued fondling him, fondling me, getting down over his stomach to his soft but well packed crotch, feeling it while unpacking mine, breathing heavily until I suddenly began to erupt, barely able to contain heavy moans and even heavier grips to his package.
I almost forgot what really was hüpeningat that moment until I snapped concious of it again, a surprised to see that musky man infront of me still asleep with a satisfied smile, my juice spread all over the floor up to his blanket.
To be continued...
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iseos · 11 months
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: CROSSROADS
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wc. 734 archive. pairing. ex!sim jaeyun x gn!r genre. fluff, minor angst (?)
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THE THUMPING MUSIC AND STROBING LIGHTS from the lively party reach you before you even enter the house.
  you had been looking forward to his party after being encouraged to come by your friend. it was the perfect opportunity to unwind after a stressful week of classes and dance the night away. as you walked into the bustling house, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement.
  you spot your friends near the living room, yunjin's vibrant orange hair making her easy to spot, and make your way through the lively crowd. they were laughing and joking and you easily joined in on the fun as they handed you a drink.
  amidst the sea of faces, your eyes caught a glimpse of someone familiar; you were expecting it though, considering he is friends with the host. but your heart still skipped a beat as you saw your ex-boyfriend, jake, across the room. even though you both had parted ways amicably, it had been months since you had last seen each other.
  you weren’t sure how to react, but before you could gather your thoughts or make a move to do anything, he disappeared into the crowd of partygoers.
  as you sipped the rest of your drink, you turned to your friends, "i think i'm gonna grab another drink from the kitchen. anyone wants to join me?"
  yunjin eagerly raised her hand, and you both pushed your way through the people dancing to get to the kitchen.
  the kitchen was much less packed, with only a handful of people in there the music continued to vibrate throughout the room. as yunjin started to make herself another drink, you reached for a bottle of liqueur, but your hand froze in the air as someone else took it instead.
  you should've expected it when you saw jake already in the kitchen, remembering you have the same taste in alcohol.
  "hi jake," you said with a tight-lipped smile.
  "y/n, hey!" he raised his eyebrows in surprise when he saw you standing next to him, "how long have you been here?"
  "only like 15 minutes ago," you confess.
  "oh right, i think i remember seeing you walk in." you were taken aback by his observation, but chose not to comment on it.
  you both exchanged a few more pleasantries, catching up briefly, and he seemed genuinely happy to see you. you were relieved that the encounter was far less awkward than you initially anticipated.
  after a while, jake suggested moving outside to find a quieter place to talk. before you agreed, you turn back to yunjin who just gives you a thumbs up and a wink as she goes back out into the living room, sipping her new drink. you then made your way to the dimly lit backyard, the cool night air providing some much-needed relief from the intense atmosphere inside.
  you both continued to chat, reminiscing and sharing stories about your new relationships. it was strange how easy it was to talk to jake again; as if no time had passed since your breakup.
  the flow of the conversation momentarily lapsed; there was a moment of silence. you looked into jake's eyes, and for a brief second, you shared a knowing glance; a mutual understanding in your eyes. it was a silent acknowledgment of the feelings you thought you both buried, a hint of the past that had never completely faded.
  jake finally broke the silence, his voice barely above a whisper, "you know, y/n, i've missed this... i've missed you."
  you met his gaze, your heart racing, and replied, "i've missed you too, jake, but we've both moved on. we can't let the past dictate our present."
  he nodded in agreement with a sigh, acknowledging the truth of your words. you both had your own lives now, different paths that have led you away from each other. it was time to let go of the past and embrace your new future.
  as you both stood up, ready to rejoin the party, your hands brushed for a moment. it was a fleeting touch that sent shivers down your spines; a final reminder of the connection you once shared.
  the party continued, the laughter and music echoing in the night. you and jake went your separate ways, but the memory of your encounter still lingered in the forefront of your minds.
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© iseos
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searenbound · 2 years
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As promised a technically rewritten version of that lost Bakugou fwbs post
Warnings: jealous/possessive behavior, daddy kink, swearing, casual relationship turning serious, spanking, Bakugou typical inability to express emotions properly, afab reader with she/her pronouns, sex tape
Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x reader
-He doesn’t do casual
-He hates everything about it really
-Especially the lingering feeling of guilt and shame he feels afterwards
-Like he was used and tossed aside, like he did the exact same to them
-He fucking hated it
-So, how did he end up here in her bed knowing he wouldn’t be around in the morning to see her get up for work?
-With a bag packed and ready to go before her neighbors could see him leaving?
-How did he find himself coming over just to fuck her and leave like it was nothing?
-Like he didn’t have perfect little pussy snug around his cock just before he had to go into work?
-He wanted to believe he just truly didn’t have feelings for her and that’s why he never ended it after the first time they fell in bed together
-But the truth is, the first time wasn’t exactly emotionless on his part either
-A drunk mess sure, but he had meant it when he slurred out his confessions of love
-And it hurt the next day when she said she barely remembered it but knew what she did was worth a repeat hookup, but still
-It was a chance to touch them when sober and he wanted that so badly, he didn’t realize it would lead to this though
-Not that he hasn’t tried to tell her how he feels, but it always gets caught in his throat when he looks her and sees that pretty little smile and gets overwhelmed with the thought of losing it and her company
-So he swallows it down, and asks if she wants to come over and try on that pretty little thing she just bought for him
-Because he knows how to fuck her
-That’s almost become second nature, it’s talking to her that’s difficult
-So with plans for later and the frustration of not being able to say what he wants to say you can imagine how he wasn’t in the best mood for work
-Unfortunately he couldn’t even throw himself into it get his mind elsewhere because of a stupid joint practice or whatever the fuck it was branded as for public eyes meant he didn’t even get to get ready in peace
-His former classmates chattering excessively ruining that, but moreover their topic of choice pissed him off
-Couldn’t he escape her for even just a minute?! And why the fuck did they think they had the right to talk about her anyways?!
-Sure not everyone was talking about her, but hearing dunce face talking about how raccoon eyes says (Yn) showed up with hickeys and refusing to talk about it, meaning in his oh so professional opinion, that she isn’t getting fucked right isn’t doing anything to help his mood
-And it’s worse when he starts spouting off how he’d do it and the other extras entertain him with their opinions
-The rest of the day is a blur, too busy thinking about how he’s gonna rectify this problem that when he happens to run into her around the end of patrol he has no hesitations about pulling her into an alley
-Growls something about needing relief and she’s all to willing to be that for him
-Especially when his idea of relief was to lift her up and pin her against a wall for rough paced quickie and a warm load of cum for her to keep in her until they hooked up again later
-But she still had to know what had him so riled, he wasn’t usually the type to fuck on the clock so what gives?
-“It’s nothing, just some shitty locker room talk and it was just pissing me off” “Why? I didn’t think you were the type let others talking about a friend bother, unless that is I’m more than that too you. I am, aren’t I?”
-That earned at least 15 minutes of arguing about how she should have said something if she knew and how she was waiting for him to be ready to have that conversation and was simply done waiting and besides does he want to fight or does he want to go make sure no one has any doubts about them?
-And that’s how the guys group chat he seldomly takes part in gets an interesting video
-Out of focus at first, but the clear sloppy sounds of skin slapping against skin gave a good indication of what this was about to be
-Muffled moans slipping past an unseen mouth, getting higher in pitch the rougher that pretty pussy on screen was fucked
-That would have been enough, but Bakugou has always been extra
-“You gonna cum princess? Want Me to let you cum all over this cock?” “Mmm, please” “Tell me why I should, tell me who this cute little cunt belongs to” “Yours, it’s yours Katsu—ahh!”
-2 sharp sounding smacks against her ass and a hissed who’s? followed
-“S-sorry, mmm fuck Daddy, it’s Daddy’s cunt” “Good girl”
-No one talks about it to them after, probably out of shame for their own actions, but there’s definitely more than one screenshot of cum leaking out her pussy
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thecapricunt1616 · 7 months
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Goddess - Chapter One Steve Harrington
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♡ Chapter Inspo: Lyrics - "Lay all your love on me" (ABBA) " It was like shooting a sitting duck. A little small talk, a smile, and baby I was stuck. I still don't know what you've done with me; A grown-up woman should never fall so easily..."
♡ Summary: Steve x Persephone do some heavy flirting, Robin is grossed out, but- She forgives Steve since he picks a movie for the 3 of them containing their mutual favorite - tits.
♡ W/C: 1,816
♡ Posted Date: 03/09/2024
♡ A/N: It's here!!! It's finally here! This is a rewrite of a fic I wrote a few months ago & posted to AO3 - I am such a softie for some Stevey omgg I really love him!! IMO He is one of the most important characters in the entire show, his character growth is beautiful, Genuinely - as a Character Steve Is so complex and wonderful and such a good person, so I had to write for him hehe!
♡ Warnings for BTC: None really! Oh - Robin getting a pack of gum to the face for being a cheeky bitch, and swearing.
➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 ��𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡
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𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓮'𝓼 𝓟.𝓞.𝓥. -
I'm awoken to a sudden rapping on my door, “Persephone!!” Robin said as she flung my bedroom door open, her toothbrush hanging out of her mouth. “Dude- you seriously fell back asleep? We need to be leaving in 5 minutes! I am not the person to be timekeeper!” I sit up quickly, fuck- fell back asleep again. 
I jumped up out of bed quickly, my pajamas wrinkled from sleep. “Uh-” I lift my hand quickly, wiping dried drool from the corner of my mouth. “Sorry- sorry,” I stumble past her over tiredly to my dresser, digging out a pair of jeans and a striped blue sweater. 
“Dude- Steve is my friend, but he told me yesterday that if I’m late one more time and he doesn’t write me up, the GM is gonna fire him - Hurry UP!” she said annoyed as she returned to the bathroom. I stripped my pajamas off quickly.
By the time I’d gotten outside and hopped in the driver's seat of my mom’s wood-paneled station wagon that’d been passed down to me when she died, starting it quickly and peeling out of the driveway, we were already a good 5 minutes behind, but I didn’t doubt that I could make it up if I just focused really hard while driving.
 “I don’t know how we haven't gotten in an accident yet” Robin mutters as I slow down briefly at the stop sign to be sure no one is coming before speeding off again.
“If we were in one, Steve would be a real ass to give you a write-up” I teased, earning a giggle from her. 
We got to the video store in one piece thankfully, and pulled into a parking spot. “Comin’ in?” she asked, grabbing her backpack from the back. 
“Yup, wanna pick out a movie for t’night, we're still getting Chinese right?” I questioned. She nods with a smile popping open her door and stepping out.
“Wouldn’t miss it, but please not another romance- I can’t handle your weeping” she teased, I giggled a bit, nudging her with my hip.
“You cried too! The Rachel Papers was fuckin’ amazing! You can’t deny.” I pulled the door open for us and Steve’s head popped up from the paperwork he was looking at on the counter, a stray adorable clump of hair falling over his forehead with the movement, causing him to sweep it back with his hand absentmindedly. 
He glances at the clock on the wall, smiling “15 seconds and you’dve been fired” he jokes, causing Robin to snort a laugh as she walks behind the counter, dropping her backpack in a heap on the floor.
“Sure like you’d lose your best employee right?” she replied, causing him to laugh a bit. 
“What brings you in, goddess? How may I be of service? ” he teased me with that boyish smile of his. I rolled my eyes lightly, biting back an amused grin. 
“You’ll never stop calling me that, mm?” I wandered over to the romance section to which Robin groans. 
“Shes here to torture me. Apparently, a ride to work every day means she always gets to choose the movies we watch, Steve can you puhhhhleeease start bringing me again?” She whined dramatically, causing Steve to chuckle. 
“You like romance, mm?” He follows me into the isle. I felt my heart quicken in my chest, butterflies swarming my stomach. I’d thought Steve was so cute ever since I’d moved here, but I’m far too shy to make a move myself- and he’s one of Robins best friends. It feels like it’s breaking girl code, if not family code to not make a move on one of your cousin's best friends. 
Even if they were as charismatic, and kind, and handsome as Steve Harrington. 
“Mmhmm” I hummed, stopping and picking up a random movie, hoping he was just coming back here to do some work. 
“That one’s no good” he plucked the copy of Love Story out of my hands, looking over the back “Yeah, this one’s a bore. You want somethin’ really steamy?” He takes a movie off the second to top shelf and extends it to me. 
I smile a bit “Manhattan? Really? Didn’t peg you as a Woody Allen guy” I turn it over to read the excerpt. Robin makes a dramatic ‘bleh’ noise causing me to snort. 
“Ew! He seems like a total skeez.” She said and I giggled, looking up at Steve, then over at Robin, before back at him again. 
“I guess it’s a no go…” I said softly, gently offering it to him. 
“Robin!” He looks back at her and she looks up from the stack of movies she was coding into the computer. “There’s boobies.” He stated, raising his eyebrows. 
I laughed, even harder so when Robin sat up at the mention of potentially seeing bare chests. “Deal, she’ll take it.” She nodded, going back to highlighting movies as she punched them in. 
“See she just takes a little convincing” he nudges the tape back towards me with a grin. I smiled, shaking my head amusedly. 
“You are a really good friend to her, you know that right, Harrington?” I said quietly, so only we could hear. His cheeks went pink, the smile on his face growing slightly. 
“I try. She’s not too bad herself.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck lightly. “Uh- I was gonna tell you y’know if she- if she didn’t want to watch it with you, I don’t mind a good romance” 
Now my cheeks were certainly pink. “Oh!” I manage to squeak out, my nails nervously picking at the tattered please rewind sticker on the case of the tape. “Sure- sure, I mean. Yeah! Come- come over, if you want to watch it with us. I’m sure she’s gonna like- pass out. After 20 minutes, you probably know how she is” I swallowed quickly, my mouth suddenly feeling dry and my voice sounding small. 
“Shit I didn’t- sorry I didn’t mean to like…invite myself? I just- I dunno, I hate watching movies alone” he clears his throat awkwardly. I bit the inside of my lip to contain a grin.
Was I making Steve Harrington nervous?
“Please invite yourself over any time, I can only handle her ramblings for so many hours before my head starts to hurt” I said loud enough just to tease her and she sits up. 
“Hey! You said you love when I talk to you about stuff!” She pouts and I giggled. 
“I’m just kidding tweedle-dee. C’mon y’know I love you” I went over to her, planting a large wet smooch on her cheek just to mess with her. 
She groans, pulling away and wiping her cheek. “God I feel bad for any boys you’re sucking face with if that’s how you kiss” she teased. 
Steve came back around the counter, leaning on his elbows and looking at me. 
“Member card please” he said, holding his hand out with a smile. I rolled my eyes slightly, “can’t just use Robins?” I huff, digging around in my purse. 
“That would be against policy, what kind of boss would I be if I broke the rules right Robin?” He looks over to her and she laughs. 
“You are one to talk about rules, mister I-go-over-10-minutes-every-break.” She said and shook her head. “You just have a yucky crush on my cousin and want her to stay longer,” she said causing us both to blush. 
“Dude shut up” he kicks her shin and she groans and winces at the contact.
“OW! You’re a Butthead” she muttered, and I looked up at him with a small smile on my lips.
“And what if I don’t have it?” I asked, resting just in front of him on the counter, leaning on my hand and looking at him with big doe eyes from under my lashes.
One of his famous, half Steve smirks appears on his lips, leaning in, mirroring my position, and looking into my gaze at eye level. 
“Guess you’re real lucky that I’m comin’ over then, I guess I could take responsibility of the movie…since you’re such a loyal customer, and a friend” he said, his eyes flickering to my lips momentarily.
“Wow…Who’d have guessed Steve Harrington is such the gentleman?” I slide the tape towards him, our fingers brushing. 
“Oh gag- Will you two just get a room?!” Robin groans and I raise my eyebrows, looking over at her.
“S’you wouldn’t beeee…” I narrow my eyes, hoping she got the hint.
“EW! You think I care?! Have at it, weirdos” she said, and my eyes flicked back to his hazel ones. 
“Care about what?” he asked, obliviously.
“That I hear her like ‘ohhhh steeeeveee!!’ in the shower at least once a week, she has the total hots for you” she said and I nearly choked on a gasp, chucking the closest thing to me at her head which just so happened to be Steves pack of spearmint gum.
“OW! Will you both stop hitting me?!” she said frustratedly and Steve laughs.
“She's saying what in the shower now?!” he turns towards her, a wide shit eating grin on his face. 
Smug bastard.
I give her the ‘try me, say it again’ eyes and she laughs, trying to play it off.
“Oh - kiddinggg! Just kidding.” she said, shooting me a ‘please, spare me.’ look.
“Girls are weird” he muttered, punching his member ID in from memory, and scanning the movie before handing it to me. “Due in 14 days, don’t be late- I got a stellar record” he smiled a bit. “Do I get one of those kisses you gave Robin? Y’know, for being so lenient” he wiggled his eyebrows and I rolled my eyes, cheeks still bright cherry red from Robin’s slick comments.
I shrug a bit, “Sure, C’mere, pretty-boy” I stood up with a small smile and he came around the counter, hands tucked behind his back and leaning so my lips were perfect height with his cheek. 
“Waiting” he said softly. I snort a laugh, leaning in and pressing my lips to his cheek gently, lingering for a little longer than needed, but neither of us seemed to mind. 
When I pulled away, his eyes were still fluttered shut, his cheeks the same tinge of red that surely matched mine. 
“Totally not at all the kiss I got, but okay” Robin mutters and I turn, sending her a death glare and digging around my purse for something else to throw. She covers her head and face in her hands nervously “Sorry! I can’t help it!” she squeaks.  I look back at Steve. “Handle my light stuff while I’m gone, yeah? See you at 6 Harrington, this movie better be as hot and steamy as you say.” I said next to his ear softly before turning and leaving before he could stutter a reply.
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➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋘ 𝐖𝐈𝐏 ♡♡♡ ⋙
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