#google says it means 'oh really?' so i'm hoping that's the correct meaning because it's what i went with 😅 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

megumar · 5 months

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i translated 鶴子's oldtakak doujin because i need me some old men yaoi before this year ends!! (🔞 R-18/NSFW 🔞)

i had such an EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER translating this-- it went from wholesome > shocking > funny > frustrating > wholesome and funny again > frustrating again > sentimental > horny > shocking again > horny again > and then sentimental again… this took me almost a week LOL i hope i did this right---

the translations might not be 100% correct (i used google translate), also this doujin was supposed to take place on christmas day but that day is obviously over so… happy holidays then! ✨

pg.1

❤️ 40 years old JoKa fabrication warnings ❤️

❤️ JoKa in their 40s who are married and living together. ❤️ A romantic comedy about Jotaro who goes back to when he was a teenager. ❤️ I want to dress these old men in school uniforms! This is that kind of book. Merry Christmas! ❤️ R-18

pg.2

(on a snowy evening…)

pg.3

J : *enters house* Kakyoin, I'm home. Sorry for being late… K : *off screen* Welcome home, Jotaro! J : *looking around* Kakyoin? K : Please wait just a bit… K : I was taking in the laundry! Great job today. (woah, it's so cold~) K : I've finished preparing the bath and dinner, too. What will you do? K : Ah! Or, do you want to do me first? ❤️ Dr. Kujo is naughty~ ❤️❤️ (just kidding~ ❤️) J : Well, that's not bad either. But before that… J : Lend me that. K : The laundry? I'll clean them up. J : No, I went to the beach the other day, so most of it must be mine.

pg.4

J : I'll be the one to clean them up. You must be tired from work too. K : No, it's fine. I'll do it, you can just rest, so give it to me! J : No. (hmph…) K : Alright… Then let's do it together. J : Mm… K : But thank you for helping me, Jotaro. *smooch* K : After cleaning up, shall we take a bath together? K : (i'll wash your back too~ ❤️ just kidding~) (later…) K : ……

pg.5

J : *folds the laundry* K : … Noho~ Hohoho~ J : … What is it, Kakyoin? Is my way of folding really that strange? K : No, sorry. K : The image of the world's greatest Dr. Kujo folding laundry… I've always thought you were kind of cute. J : … I don't get it. K : Don't you think it suits you in a good way? Though it feels weirdly mismatched. K : Didn't you help out when you were a student? At Ms. Holly's, I mean. (H : here ❤️ Jotaro ❤️ your change of clothes~ ❤️) (J : ……) J : … Well, I was a kid, after all. K : Nohoho! You've matured enough to admit it! Look, just give me a little smile. J : ? Why. K : Come ooon…

pg.6

K : You look even older when you're silent. (oh no~) J : ! J : I don't care about appearances anymore, but I'd hate it if you hated me… Kakyoin. *smiles warmly* K : Aaah~~ I love you, Jotaro~~ ❤️❤️❤️ *nuzzle nuzzle* J : Hey, hey. Easy, Kakyoin, easy. K : Nohoho… You laugh in a way I can't imagine from you when you were really young. J : Is that so? Does that mean the old me is better? K : That's not what I meant… The old days were good, but now I'm satisfied enough. K : …… K : … I don't know if you're satisfied though.

pg.7

(*stares at each other*) K : *sweats* Eh? What is it now… Jota- J : I have no complaints. I'm so satisfied that I'm satisfied. J : … It's just… K : I-It's just…? *badump badump* J : … No, there's nothing to say now. *stands up* I'm going to take a bath. K : J-Jotaro…? K : *grips Jotaro's arm with HG* Jotaro, wait!! Did I do something--

pg.8

(Jotaro tripped over the laundry bucket and falls) K : !! JOTAROOO!! (later…) (Jotaro wakes up) K : Jotaro…! Jotaro!

pg.9

K : Aah, thank goodness! Sorry, I grabbed your arm all of a sudden… It made a lot of noise, but does it hurt?? (HG : i'm sorry---) K : Jotaro? J : …… K : I made it into an ice pillow, but I wonder if you'll catch a cold if I let it get too cold… Are you cold? Are you okay?? K : Ah, I'll bring a regular pillow if you don't mind. Would you like to drink something anyway? Can you get up? K : I never thought you'd hit your head so hard that you would faint… J : … K : It's my bad habit to get Hierophant out right away… K : … Hey, Jotaro… K : Why don't you say anythi-- NGH!? J : *grabs Kakyoin's mouth* So noisy.

pg.10

J : Shut up, you idiot. You're so loud. K : !? J : … Hey, you look a little different, but you're Kakyoin… right? K : *thinking* This tone… No way-- J : I see… That's what it's about. J : I must be around that age, too… Tch… Shit. I can't remember anything. K : Th-Then, what do you remember? J : AH? K : Ah? What… J : … I'm a student now. As long as I remember, you were also wearing a school uniform. K : H-Huh… J : Good grief… Did I just went back to being a student only on the inside? How unlucky. *scratches his neck* K : *thinking* This rude tone and the way he sits… K : *internally* As I thought, he went back to when he was a student! K : *thinking* It's kind of fresh…

pg.11

J : … What is it, Kakyoin? K : *thump! ❤️* Eh? J : Don't stare at me like that. K : A-Aah… Sorry! K : It must be so hard for you to not have any memories, even if it's only partially… J : Keh! J : Says the person who caused the fall. J : *smirks* You'll take full responsibility, so get ready. K : *kyun kyun kyuuun ❤️❤️* Y-Yes… Please be gentle… K : *internally* This might be… Pretty bad…!! (Jotaro, a while ago : *warmly* Kakyoin…) (Jotaro, now : *grumpy* AAH?)

pg.12

J : By the way, the hell's with these tasteless clothes? K : Nohoho…! That's the ones you chose for yourself. *pat pat* J : Is this a hobby of mine? Unbelievable… I wanna change my clothes quickly. K : In that case, I'll take out your school uniform and give it to you. J : Oi… I can find it on my own. K : What are you talking about? K : Even you, the usual one, probably don't know where it is, so it's the same thing. Please wait a moment. J : …… (later…) K : Wow… You can still wear it enough, right? J : …… K : I'm glad I took it out for cleaning. 🎵 J : Isn't the tanktop too clean? Moreover, I can't wear it unless I move the belt hole. I need to train myself properly. K : Fair enough… You're much younger than the average forty year old.

pg.13

K : Besides… Yeah. *puts on Jotaro's coat* K : As I expected, you still look good… In that uniform. K : Aah~ How nostalgic. 🎶 *cuddle cuddle* J : … Oi, Kakyoin. Don't stick around me too much- K : No~pe… You've always been really cool… K : You're quiet, but you're strong and kind. I feel like I'm falling in love all over again now. J : … Tch. *blushes* J : Don't say embarrassing things like that. K : Fufu… Sorry. K : I can't help but want to tease you. Maybe you're shy, Jotaro? Ah, you're younger now, so I guess you'll be Jotaro-kun-- J : *annoyed* I said don't stick around me too much.

pg.14

K : You look so cute when you're embarrassed~ *smile smile ❤️* J : Tch--- J : Don't call a man cute!!! Stop clinging to me like you're a woman!! J : It's so annoying!!! K : *startled* K : … I'm sorry. Looks like I got a little too carried away. K : *internally* It's the first time Jotaro called me annoying… ❤️ *kyun kyuuun ❤️❤️* (i've always wanted to be told that~) K : Sorry, I won't say it again. J : …… *sweats* K : *internally* Moreover, he wanted to apologize for yelling, but he seemed to be having a hard time saying it now~~ (nohohohoho~ ❤️❤️) K : *thinking* Maybe it's not so bad to be treated coldly once in a while. K : Uniform alone is not enough. K : I'll bring some other clothes. 🎵 J : … Oi, Kakyoin. J : What I just said is true. K : *thinking* Eh? K : Do you mean don't call you cute?

pg.15

J : Don't get too attached to me. There are times when I won't let go of things that I would normally let go. J : You don't understand what kind of condition I'm in right now. K : Does that mean that… If I touch you… K : … You'll lose your patience? J : Don't tease me, then. K : *hugs Jotaro* J : Oi, there… Kakyoin. K : It's okay. Your memory will likely come back if we treat each other the same way we usually do.

pg.16

K : So we'll do it like we "always" do, then maybe you'll remember. K : Look… *pulls Jotaro closer* K : Come here more. J : This guy lost his soul. People change as they get older. J : *smirks* He turns bright red just by holding your hand. K : Sorry… I'm not saying it's anyone's fault though. *badump badump* K : *internally* In that face… It's unfair to give me that look… K : *thinking* I wonder how will you kiss me now? *leans in to kiss*

pg.17

K : *internally* How will you… hold* me…? (*as in "dominate/topping") (*boing! ❤️*) K : Whuh? J : … Jeez. J : They say it's a shame for a man not to eat set meals, but I'm younger than him now. *puts his hat on Kakyoin* J : It seems like you would rather be attached to someone younger than him. I don't know which one is more embarrassing… K : !

pg.18

J : … Eh, Kakyoin-san? *grins* K : *thinking* He dodged it-- (hmph…) (HG : too bad…) (usually) (J : anyone who says that is punished. *carries Kakyoin to bed*) (K : nohoho~ help me~ ❤️) J : Well, I'm going to bed now. I have a headache and I'm sleepy. K : Hm… K : What about dinner? J : … Sorry, I don't need it. K : What about the bath? J : … When I wake up, I'll go on my own. K : Then, I'll guide you. J : I don't need that. J : I really don't need that kind of care. I can find the place by myself. K : Ah… K : Okay. Then I'll put the futon on first. J : … First? K : Eh? K : We always sleep together, after all.

pg.19

J : Sleep alone. *yeets Kakyoin out with SP* K : What the hell, Jotaro! Where am I going to sleep-- J : The sofa, I guess. K : My body will hurt! (HG : how mean! *huff puff*) J : Y'know, Kakyoin… J : You're just a little too much for me. J : You and I aren't kids anymore either. K : …! J : Good night.

pg.20

K : Good night… Jotaro. K : *thinking* Too much, huh… It's true that when I was a student, I kept my distance even more. K : *internally* Even though you were the first to jump over that distance… *flashback* K : *blushes* Aah… I just remembered something strange… I've had enough--!

pg.21

K : I take back my words about how it's not so bad to be treated coldly… J : ……… (Jotaro remembering the almost-kiss) J : … Tch! J : What does he mean by "always"? Good grief…

pg.22

(the next morning…) K : Fuah… Good morning, Jotaro. J : Oh… Morning. J : Sorry, is it bad to smoke? K : It's okay, it's your body, do what you like with it. It's been a while since I saw you smoking. K : I'll take your tiger's cub* too. (*Tiger's cub (Tora no ko) is a term that refers to something so precious that you cannot let it go.) J : So you smoke like this too, don't you. K : *puffs* Nah, I don't normally smoke. K : At some point, I learned to imitate you. K : Hey, Jotaro. Until your memory returns… K : I'll be careful not to close the distance between us as much.

pg.23

K : … So, could you please stay by my side without being too cautious? J : … Ok. K : Alright! K : Well then, I'll use it as a starting point to bring back your memories. Would you like to play a game with me? J : A game? Are you still doing things at your old age? K : It's one of my few hobbies. Actually, I've wanted to compete with you ever since we were students! J : Hm. Then, let's bet something. K : Whoa, that idea is nostalgic too. J : Aah? (then both of them play games together)

pg.24

K : Ah! Eh?? Wait, Jotaro, how did you learn that trick!? J : What. By playing seriously, I guess. K : Really? You're not cheating?? J : I'm not… I swear. (later…) J : It's my rise again. K : Hey you… You're really not cheating, are you? You didn't see my cards, right? K : Did you use your Stand?? J : I didn't see them. J : So what should we bet next? How about the loser has to prepare dinner? K : Alright, let's compete again! (later…) K : I guess I'll make it again, after all. You're absolutely cheating. J : No, I'm not. Don't be too suspicious. J : I won the arm wrestling with my pure strength. K : That's true, but come on… K : It's frustrating because I can't always win. Let's try again later.

pg.25

(later…) K : Aah… That was fun! J : Well, you'll get tired if you play games all day long. On top of that, you even drank alcohol. You've became this drunk. K : I'm an adult, so it's okay! J : Let me drink too. K : (nohohoho~) You're still a child on the inside, so it's no good! Just in case. J : Don't act like a grown-up here. J : Games and cards… You were just playing around like a kid, but you never get tired of it. K : Hm… K : My bad, but I had fun. Because… K : Actually, it's something I wanted to see you do when we were students. Cards, games… and all that. K : I don't want to see you skipping class, though. (nohoho~) J : … Kakyoin. K : Hm?

pg.26

J : You've learned to smile like that. It's rare to see that wide mouth moving. J : You look good. K : !! *blushes* K : R-Really? (image of younger Kakyoin pouting) J : You always wore a deadpan Buddha face. You rarely smile or just lift the corners of your mouth… (K : ah, the alcohol-) (J : here.) K : I didn't realize it myself… But if you say so, I guess it's true. J : Fuh! J : It's all thanks to me, so I'll do it too. K : *stares at Jotaro chuckling* J : Jeez… I'm angry at myself for not remembering. K : *leans on Jotaro* … Don't be jealous of yourself, Jotaro.

pg.27

(……) J : I told you not to stick to me… *moves away* K : …… J : …… K : … Are you avoiding me because I'm old? J : Ha? K : You don't like me becoming an old man, do you? K : You remember me who was still in high school, so it's only natural that you're disappointed, even though you're old too. J : Kakyoin, you misunderstand. I-- K : So what do you want to say!?

pg.28

K : *stands up* Speak clearly! Anything is fine! K : Or do you think I'm a sissy who gets easily hurt!? K : Don't underestimate me, Jotaro!! K : ... It's true that I'm different now compared to before. I'm older. K : I want to cook for you, take care of you, sleep with you, cuddle with you, touch you… K : I-It might make me seem weak, and I may not have a visible trace of masculinity… K : But I'm not ashamed of it. I've changed because I was with you… K : … And I couldn't be alone anymore. J : Kakyoin… *grips Kakyoin's wrist* K : … It's partly your fault, after all.

pg.29

K : You reached out first. *flashback* K : I don't have any interest in girls anymore. Even when it comes to sex, I've only ever done it with you. K : As you grow older, you become more and more attractive. *weeps* I wanted us to be more happy, so I did a lot of things. K : The only masculine part I have left is my penis… J : PE--!? What did you just say--? K : What!! K : You've said even more obscene stuff! (like **** and ****!) Don't you remember!? Stupid!! J : Well, I don't remember. K : AARGH--! 💢 (Jotaro pulls Kakyoin down and hugs him) K : ! J : It was… My bad.

pg.30

J : I've been curious about it for a while. J : You look like a housekeeper. You prepare food and bath, and take care of me… J : I felt like a big brat, or even a lord. J : That's what "always" happened. Is it normal now for you to do everything for me? J : When we were students, we walked shoulder to shoulder. J : Is the adult me forcing you, a man, into a role you don't want to play? J : If I had treated you like that, I feel like punching myself. K : Jotaro…

pg.31

K : You've never forced me to do anything. Partly because I was at home a lot… K : Please don't be so angry. J : … But I really don't like being overprotective. K : Yeah… I understand as much. J : … Also, you said something that I shouldn't ignore. J : You… Are you worried because you're getting older? K : W-Well, a little… J : It's because your skin is a little sagging, but those laugh lines can be profitable. *lifts Kakyoin's chin* K : Jo… taro… J : I'm in love with you, Kakyoin-san. J : Ever since I wore my school uniform.

pg.32

(*kiss*) K : …! J : Even the kid me can see… J : That you'll always be beautiful. (*kiss kiss*) J : *lifts Kakyoin's shirt up*

pg.33

K : Ah… W-Wait, Jotaro… (haah) J : What… We don't need a bath. K : That's not it--! K : I'm kinda bothered because now you're the same person as you were when you were young, so it should be the opposite… K : No- Usually it would be me-- Um-- Well--- J : AH? 💢 K : It was always up to me, so it's kinda different-- Uhmm--- K : … What should I do… K : What should I do best… K : Normally, I would have had more time to give you a little something… K : But, because you're like this… K : I feel embarrassed… I still don't know how to hold you… K : What should I do, Jotaro…

pg.34

J : *flicks Kakyoin's nipple ❤️* K : Ngh… J : Kuku… I don't want you to be that scared, Kakyoin. K : Ah… Ah-- J : I'm getting more excited. Hey… Let's go to the futon, shall we? K : … (haah) J : I want to hold you quickly… K : … Jotaro, um… J : ? K : After that, I have… A request… (later, at the bedroom…)

pg.35

(both of them wears their uniforms) J : This is such a bizarre feeling. Is this "normal" for adults too? J : It's like sexual services… Kakyoin-san. K : C'mon… Don't say anything mean, Jotaro… K : I thought you were more used to seeing this… K : I guess it doesn't suit me after all? J : Nah… It suits you. *unbuttons Kakyoin's uniform* J : But you're the one who's most excited, huh. *sucks Kakyoin's nipple through his shirt* K : …! K : Wait-- The shirt--- J : If it bothers you, just turn it over yourself.

pg.36

(Kakyoin's shirt has unbuttoned) J : What a cute color… Do you want me to touch you directly? K : Yes… (haah) K : I want you to touch me… Ah--! J : *bites and licks Kakyoin's nipple* K : Nngh-- ❤️❤️ J : *rubs Kakyoin's dick* Does it feel good…? K : Mmm… It feels good… (haah ❤️) J : Really? It's still half erect… Is it always like this? K : No… That's not… (haah) J : Tch… It's because you drink alcohol.

pg.37

K : No… I'm… fine with this, so… (fuuh) J : *bites Kakyoin's ear* …? J : What do you mean? *his bulge pokes Kakyoin's ass* K : …! K : S-So… It feels good when I ejaculate, but… I'm already used to going inside… K : *internally* Jotaro is… Getting really hard… J : Seriously… You're amazing… *stroke stroke* K : Noho… Because I'm an adult now… K : That's why, Jotaro… *strokes Jotaro's bulge* J : !

pg.38

K : The messy foreplay… I don't mind skipping it. (fuuh ❤️) K : After all, you're a hot-blooded boy right now, aren't you? J : … It's going to be hard for you. K : Thank you, Jotaro… But… *turns around* K : You want to insert it here quickly, right? (haah ❤️) J : …… *caressed by HG* K : I don't need any patience or consideration that I'm not used to. I'm also a man, so I'm surprisingly sturdy.

pg.39

J : You… It's dirty of you to invite me like that, but don't say you don't like it halfway through. *pins Kakyoin down* K : Ngh… ❤️ No way… I won't say that I don't like it… (haah) K : Because you're always so kind to me, I'm okay with being treated badly sometimes… J : *unbuckles his pants, still caressed by HG ❤️* K : No matter how embarrassing my words or actions are, the only one who sees it is you, right? (haah) K : Even if it hurts a little, it's fine if it's from you. (haah) J : … Keep it quiet. You're so eager to take advantage of me, aren't you. *rubs his cock on Kakyoin's ass* K : Ah-- Ah… K : That's not true, Jotaro--

pg.40

K : I'm that kind of man, so sometimes I want to be rolled around in your palm… (haah) J : I see… *inserts his cock* K : Ah-- Hn-- ❤️ J : Then let me do as I like. *pounds Kakyoin's ass ❤️❤️* K : Ngh-- AH! Jota-- KHA--! GHAH-- ❤️❤️❤️

pg.41

(they proceeds to fuck, but Jotaro slowly pulling out for some reason)

pg.42

K : *looks back, panting* No…! I don't want it to be shallow, Jotaro-- K : Please, Jotaro--- (haah haah) J : I said let me do as I like, so shut up. *pulls out* K : Ah- ❤️ Nha-- ❤️ J : Not you shaking your hips while wearing a school uniform. You're such a lewd old man. *tongue kiss* K : S-Sor… ry-- Hngh~~ ❤️❤️ J : Don't apologize. I like you like this. *kiss kiss* K : Ngh… ❤️❤️ Jotaro-- I like… it too… ❤️

pg.43

(they proceeds to fuck again ❤️)

pg.44

J : Hey, Kakyoin… I can cum inside you, right? (haah haah) K : Ah- What is--- (uwah!) J : How many times can I cum? J : Can you show me once? *smirks* K : Eh--? Ah… Th-That face-- Don't… look at me… with that face-- Jotaro---! J : My face~? That's rude. K : That face is no good-- (haah haah ❤️❤️) J : *pang!* …? J : Even if you say my face is no good… Aah, I see. J : Maybe it's because it's different from "usual"… Did I also refer to myself as "me" (watashi)? *pats Kakyoin's head* K : Yes… You're… (haah) K : Very mature… and kind… J : Hmm…

pg.45

J : … Do you miss "me" (watashi) that much? Kakyoin… *nuzzles* K : Eh--? Eh…? Could it be that you've… returned-- *panting* J : Were you lonely because you couldn't meet me? I'm sorry for the inconvenience. J : I was lonely, too… *smooch* K : Hn… ❤️ I'm so glad… Jotaro… J : It's alright now. *smooch smooch*

pg.46

J : *twitches* Nh… Hah… Aah, it feels so good inside you… Kakyoin. J : You… ate me so deep… (haah) K : *kyuuun ❤️* …! ❤️ K : Ah… K : Jotaro… Somehow, I-- can't… (haah haah) K : When I see your face… I want to… cum right away… ❤️ *thump thump ❤️❤️* J : Fuh… You can cum as much as you like.

pg.47

J : I'll pay attention to everything. *pounds Kakyoin's ass again ❤️* K : Ah- AH--! ❤️❤️ Hah-- Fuuh--- ❤️ K : Jo… taro-- J : Kakyoin… *grips Kakyoin's wrist*

pg.48

J : That's… Round one. *grins* K : Ah… No… As I expected… I thought it was strange-- Pretending to be back… J : Thanks to you, I was able to see some good stuff. It must have been quite a show. K : Jeez-- You are… K : Being yourself… So it's only natural… that you can do it-- *slaps Jotaro with HG* J : Ow-- Even though you're going to cum just from that. K : It can't be helped--! 💢 *slap slap* J : Your voice is so loud that you really sounds like a woman. K : *sits up* What's up… With you--

pg.49

K : Haa… *bounce bounce* K : Do you know… Who is making you feel…? K : Looking at me like I'm a girl. K : Even though I'm aroused… J : … The condescending face isn't bad either… How erotic. K : Stupid-- (haah) K : Next, it's your turn to cum-- J : I'm glad that you're willing to straddle me… *grope grope* J : If I can, I don't want to cum just yet… K : Eh…? J : … My head has been hurting really bad for a while now. K : … On the part that was hit? J : Yeah… K : … I see…

pg.50

(*kiss kiss*) K : … Are you still thinking that you don't want to go back yet? J : … I'm thinking of having sex with you two more rounds. K : Nohoho… Your body won't keep up. J : You don't get it, do you… *bites Kakyoin's nipple* K : Oh--!! Hn… ❤️ Don't knead it too much… K : Good boy, good boy… *pet pet* K : You're really cute…

pg.51

K : Ah-- Sorry, I said it again, out of habit… J : That's okay, I don't really care. *pout* K : *thinking* … This face, it looks like it's not good at all… K : *internally* When he looked at me like this, I thought he was angry and I apologized, which made him even more angry… *flashback* K : *thinking* … Now that I think about it, was he sulking…? K : Ngh…? K : Hey, what are you… K : Jotaro…? Hn-- J : *marks Kakyoin's chest* K : Wait, it hurts… J : Shuddup. J : Be quiet and I'll come back, so let me do what I want a little more. K : Hnn… (haah) J : Here, look at me.

pg.52

J : If being cute to me is your habit, then this is mine. J : … Now, you won't forget me for a while. K : … (haah) K : Jotaro… J : Let "me" (watashi) know when I get back, about whether I was a cute or a bad boy. K : D-Don't tell me you're competing with each other? J : …… J : *thinking* Ah, should've stayed silent. K : I'm happy, but… This congestion won't go away anytime soon, because I'm not young anymore… J : What are you saying? I told you it's okay. K : Ng…?

pg.53

K : What do… you mean… K : *thinking* … Huh-- What… Jotaro's… face… is-- J : Unfortunately, right now my body and head are in disarray. J : It's making me look pathetic and ungainly, but… J : My desire for possession hasn't changed. J : Even if it's just for now… J : You're mine. *caresses Kakyoin's body*

pg.54

K : *turns on* Jotaro… ❤️ K : *bounce bounce! ❤️* Fells… so good-- ❤️❤️ J : Mh… Do you like riding me? Kakyoin… K : Haah… Yeah-- ❤️ I like it… I like iiit-- ❤️❤️

pg.55

J : Really… *sits up* J : Which is better, me (ore) or "me" (watashi)? K : D-Don't ask me… that-- Ah-! No-- (don't… rub it--) J : *rubs Kakyoin's dick* Tell me. K : *clings* I love both-- I love both, so… Ah-- Please, let me go-- (haah) J : Hahh… Even though you're an adult, it's luxurious… There, just a little more… Be patient. *pound pound! ❤️❤️*

pg.56

(they've reached their climaxes and FINALLY CAME ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ////////)

pg.57

J : … You-- (haah haah) J : Fuck… I don't wanna go back… *kiss* K : Mmh… Jo-- ta… ro… ❤️❤️❤️ *kiss kiss* J : Kakyoi--… J : *wide-eyed* …!

pg.58

J : … Kakyoin? K : !! K : J-Jotaro…! Did you came back?? Has your memory returned to normal!? J : Yes… It seems like that… I'm sorry. K : … Ah. J : ? K : You… Did you really, reaaally came back to normal…? J : Hm? Why are you so suspicious… J : *sees Kakyoin's body* … Aah… I see.

pg.59

J : It seems like he had a lot of fun while it wasn't me… But I don't think students should be too rowdy. K : Ah--! Th-This-- *covers himself* J : It's fine, don't hide it. J : From what I saw, it didn't look like you were forced to be intangible, and since it was you, he probably handled it well. J : It was a bit too stimulating to see for the first time after I noticed it… But I'm glad you seemed satisfied. K : …… J : …… K : Um… Jotaro… J : Hm? K : The student you told me, that I care too much for you, and you… don't like it when I do that to you. K : Before you fell, you were about to say that you were satisfied, but… It was just that. J : Just that?

pg.60

K : The reason why I care about you so much… In the end, is because of my own self-satisfaction. (image of younger Kakyoin) K : I wonder if what you're really looking for… is the sense of distance we had back then. K : Was what I "always" did… too close to you? J : …… *strips* K : ! K : J-Jotaro…? J : Kakyoin.

pg.61

J : C'mere. K : … ❤️ *nods* (*cuddle cuddle ❤️*) J : Is what I just did strange? K : It's not strange… I'm glad. J : But it's probably not a manly behavior. If I were the old "me" (ore), I wouldn’t do it. K : That's right… But, I like you… the way you… are now…

pg.62

J : Me too. *smooch ❤️* (*flashback*) J : The distance between us back then was certainly nostalgic, but it can't stay the same forever. J : Someday, when our journey ends, I'll be away from you. J : I thought we would grow up in a place where neither of us knew each other. J : … But for some reason, my hand reached out to you. J : Am I making you worry in the first place? Did I force you, a man, to be on the passive side? I was in agony all the time. J : I thought I had done something wrong. J : During that time, you changed into an ordinary man. J : It would be rude if I didn't respond to that resolution. J : We are here now because of your resolve.

pg.63

J : Before answering whether I'm satisfied or dissatisfied with our life, I had to say thank you. J : I'm sorry for making you anxious. *caresses* J : I'm grateful for your "always"… Kakyoin. *embraces* K : *bluuuuush* K : UUUUUHHH~~ Jotarooooooo~~~ ❤️❤️❤️ *hugs tight* J : It's a good change that you're more tearful now. Good grief. K : Uuh… Sorry for being so effeminate… *sob sob* J : What… You don't remember what you said a long time ago? K : Eh…?

pg.64

(*flashback*) J : When we were on the trip, on a whim, "I" (ore) asked you… J : What you would do if the person you fell in love with was of the same gender. K : … It's not that important whether you're a man or a woman. K : I think both masculinity and femininity are subjective, and you can do whatever you want. K : Gender doesn't diminish a person's humanity. K : Since you chose that person, they will also see the "human" that you are, right? J : I was surprised when you told me that, and I thought you were so handsome… J : That I fell in love with you even more.

pg.65

K : *blushes* Did… I said that…? J : Yes, while you were licking that cherry. (that was shocking) J : *strokes Kakyoin's inner thigh* K : Ngh-- J : After that, I was the first to make a move, but… J : Your attitude was also one of the reasons… K : No… That was… not my intention-- (hn ❤️) J : Well… If you say so, that's fine. *bites and licks Kakyoin's nipple* K : Ah-- Hyah-- K : C'mon… Jotaro… ❤️ K : Noho-- It… tickles… ❤️

pg.66

J : I'm overwriting the marks that "I" (ore) left behind. *sucks Kakyoin's nipple* K : O-Ow…! K : If you suck it that hard-- It hurts--- J : Liar. You like it when it hurts a little. K : No- AH… Auuh-- ❤️ J : *rubs Kakyoin's dick ❤️* K : Hnn~~ ❤️❤️ I-I'm sorr-- ❤️ K : Haah… K : Yeah… I like the pain… K : There's nothing I don't like when you do it to me… Jotaro… J : *inserts his cock* … You're really good at rolling me over. *smooch ❤️* K : Hn… ❤️ *strips* J : You're a nice guy, in both personality and body.

pg.67

(they proceeds to fuck yet again ❤️❤️) K : Nh-- J : …! J : … Fuh… J : Kakyoin. K : *sucks Jotaro's finger* Haa… Ng… What…? K : Jotaro…

pg.68

(*flashback*) J : In the past, I used to think… J : About how I would roll you in my palm if I had you, but… J : If your hand feels so comfortable… J : It wouldn't be a bad idea to roll me over yourself. J : Am I holding you or are you holding me? I don't understand… K : … ❤️

pg.69

(later…) (Jotaro sleeps and Kakyoin went to take a shower)

pg.70

K : Uh… It hurts… Maybe I pushed myself too hard… K : *looks in the mirror* …… (*flashback*) J : What would you do if the person you fell in love with was of the same gender? K : *thinking* … If you were asked something like that, wouldn't you have high expectations?

pg.71

K : I can and will say, that gender doesn't matter. K : And I can't let go of the hope that maybe it might be me. (flesh bud scene flashback) K : I'm sure I was the first one… to fall in love with you. K : I threw water at you and saved your hand, but I cowardly let Jotaro tell me what to do… and didn't say it myself. K : … I feel embarrassed every time I think back on it… K : Whether it's before or after, what's the point of escaping… Jeez… K : *thinking* I'm sure you know… that I have that kind of habit.

pg.72

(Jotaro wakes up) K : And you understand that you'll roll in my palm. Isn't that right? Jotaro… K : So in order to be with you… K : Whether I act as a woman or bend over to a man…. It's a trivial matter. (flashback of the two hugging each other, with Kakyoin smiling) K : … Well, no one will listen to the worldly words of an unfaithful man. K : … Except you.

pg.73

(Kakyoin smiles, and turns off the shower) (end.)

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heyimboredtalktome · 7 months

Note

Ok so I mean this question genuinely (and feel free to not answer), I don't mean to make you angry but feel free to go on a long angry rant if you want to

What, exactly, is Palestine mad about? (And again, I'm saying this from genuinely wanting to know, I have some idea but it feels incomplete and/or incorrect) Also, what would be the ideal outcome for you?

I've tried checking news and tried asking people to explain but I'm surrounded by people who are very pro-israel. (one of my closest friends is israeli and she's terrified because people she knows are being asked to join the army (but she's not old enough yet), and most of my family hears stories such as "oh yeah, they're slaughtering babies now" which is definitely horrific) so I'm trying to get a better understanding of the Palestinian side, and you seem reasonable and I often agree with your opinions, so I was hoping you could explain it to me. (I'll just infodump what I know in small text so that you can correct any misconceptions you see)

So, after ww2 people decided that jewish people needed a place to stay (fair, they've been hated even before ww2 but ww2 really brought attention to it) and so the british decided on where exactly they would be placed. Obviously this made many people unhappy because they were already living there. So there's been much conflict about it, and now there's a war because they want israel gone from the gaza strip, but somebody told me that israel had forcibly removed their people as a sign of goodwill? as you can see i don't know much off the top of my head. I agree with Ireland's decision to send aid to the Palestinian people because in the end they have it the worst, not Israel (which is not a poor country at all my god), and the only opinion I've formed from this all is: the people caught in the middle are the only true victims, because they didn't want any of this, but both armed sides have committed atrocities. (Also, if you google what hamas wants you get: "[its] purpose for existing is the destruction of the State of Israel and the murder of Jewish people. Hamas does not represent the Palestinian people" which sounds like what I hear from around me). Also while I understand that it sucks that they had to take land from the people around them, it's not as if the israeli people have anywhere to go (at least that's how it seems to me). Any thoughts? Thank you for your time!

me and many others have posted a lot about it so you can go through it and read things for yourself, there is no lack of documentation of the atrocities israel commits on a daily basis, even when they aren't killing thousands of children and civilians in an attempt to ethnically cleanse one of the oldest civilizations in the world, they're pretty blatant about their apartheid and racism, its not tough find good books and articles about it

as for where the israelis are supposed to go, they can use their dual citizenship for that ,I don't really know nor can i bring myself to care. its less about where they're supposed to go and more about ending the occupation. they don't just live in israel, they kill and torture palestinians and steal their land to do so. they don't even respect the original UN borders, they've stolen almost 88% of palestinian land, when they were originally alloted about 55% (which btw is still wrong, considering that the person doing the alloting had no right to give away palestinian land) and they subjugate palestinians to a system of apartheid which is against all international laws and they are given free rein to do so. again ive said a lot already about what the fucking israelis get upto so you can read up on that

i dont know about an ideal outcome, the two state solution is logical but if the israelis didn't respect it the first time around, why would they respect it now? and why would the palestinians trust them after what's happening to them? why would anyone? and who's going to hold israel responsible for the atrocities it has committed for the past 70 years?

you can watch Al-Jazeera if you want reliable news about palestine

#this is like a #mess #but idk ive already said a lot #there's everything on the blog #resources articles videos channels #one just has to be willing to educate themselves #asks #sorry about the messy reply again .

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yeetlegay · 2 years

Note

The gremlin is back with new notes, I hope you don't mind. I'll put a read-more mark in case someone wants to skip them.

Santa Maria we're like 1 minute in and it's already going places

Pete didn't strike me as a tattoo person but it makes sense

I mean I know my man is getting slapped and all but that shirt is fire

"Who's a good boy?" sounded equally terrifying and awfully cute (9 minutes in and I'm already bananas)

TANKHUN YES HELLO OMG YOUR OUTFIT IS LIT LIKE ALWAYS

Tankhun has the best reactions, kicking Kinn with legs included

Porsche is the definition of "this all could've been done without a gun and yes, this all could've been an email"

JESUS that wrench is huge

what if the car accident was caused by Time? In one of the first episode Time mentioned Tay's dad covered up his car accident like nothing ever happened because it was his area. Just a thought.

omg Porchay and his Snoopy hoodie so cute I'll die

as someone who has terrible relationship with my siblings, I'd die for their bromance. Porsche and Porchay might get on some people's nerves in the fandom, but like... They literally only have each other. Of course they'd be super gentle and overprotective.

God that blow-dryer is loud

omg these two babies. Tay and Time are serving looks

OH MY GOD SHE IS SO PRETTY SHE IS INDEED SERVING LOOKS

Love how Tay is manspreading while Time is trying to occupy as little space as possible

Vegas is really reading Childhood's End, a story about literal aliens invading Earth while he has Pete locked up???

No, he isn't. Idk whether I should say God bless or not

I wish Vegas' father a happy burn in hell

Tankhun is such a fashion icon and no I will never stop saying it

I want Tankhun to be kindergarten teacher to my kids so he can teach them basic life rules such as be relaxed and kill everyone who is suspicious immediately and all that while looking so damn fabulous

Sir, uh, that is, um, really creative excuse to kiss someone...

Pete is so good at asking the right questions at the right time

"Have you ever loved me?" no, that's why he Superman-ed those kidnappers and proceeded to enter the warehouse guns blazing... (I getchu tho, Chay...)

Vegas, it's not as bad as before because prior to this you got free Pete therapy session

"If you hate me, you'll have energy to kill me later." or as I call it, positive thinking

Turbulence... noted.

Nope, I don't think my car accident theory was correct. Rest in peace theory, you did your best.

I started to respond to this bullet by bullet but half the bullets were just variations of “AKDHDJNSJSKAJSH SO TRUE” so here is a shortened version lol

THE WHO’S A GOOD BOY LINE REWROTE MY FUCKING DNA ISTG if I ever decide to proceed with my villain era I will be taking Vegas as my manipulate manslaughter malewhore inspo

“This could’ve been an email” LESTAT I WHEEZED

That wrench scared me more than the electric chair (taint edition) from ep 10, like for why is it so ENORMOUS

I live for sibling bonds too ugh. Oldest of 5 here so Porsche’s older sibling struggles resonate deeply. (Also that one post about how Kinn is a middle son but an eldest daughter…math was found dead from the accuracy)

The second I saw the Childhood’s End cover I had to pause and Google lol I’m obsessed with analyzing characters’ reading choices (the Kardashian Konfidential book led to a headcanon that Kinn started watching KUWTK with Tankhun just to feel something and now he’s lowkey a celebrity gossip encyclopedia)

Tankhun kindergarten teacher…WHO’S GONNA WRITE HIM STARTING A MAFIA DAYCARE FOR THE NEXT GENERATION OF THEERAPANYAKUL TOTS

No bc my first thought when Vegas did the pill kiss was “holy shit he’s ballin I could’ve been having my gf give me Tylenol kisses this whole time???” Like absolute legend behavior imo

Kinn walking like that had me thinking Something Else and I was like “surely…surely they wouldn’t have…..not-not on a-a helicopter” so glad we got confirmation of a sky bj to bring my brain back online (sort of)

#kinnporsche #yeetle asks #why don’t queue stay #lestat tag

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my-strange-attraction · 8 months

Note

I am a lesbian and I came across Lostryu’s post by way of a mutual of mine. I was curious and wanted to see your response. I have to say your rebuttal contains nothing of merit that could possibly fare as a proper argument. It’s chock full of contradictory statements and straight up lies. I am assuming you’re a USA resident, but the highest university with an LGBT+ population is Brown Univeristy; and only about 20-24% of people reported being LGBT+

As a fellow english major, it was painful to read. Constant contradiction with only half formed ideas; practically agreeing with Lostryu regarding the definition of lesbian only to backpedal…. And words do have meaning, that’s why we use them in our craft as wordsmiths. You can’t simply replace keywords with opposite definitions and expect your manuscript to make sense!

I also want to point out that you degendered Lostryu entirely, refusing to use correct pronouns. That in and of itself is very transphobic. I don’t really trust your judgment as it seems like you didn’t even care about reblogging from lesbian and transgender rape apologists.

I thought you might like to reflect on this, but I truly think you care more about your self-perceived moral superiority rather than actual people.

-🧁

Oh boy. Ok.

Well thanks for being so kind and civil and not attacking my character.

I know you don't trust me, but you gotta trust that a queerer school than Brown exists and I go to it. I can see where the confusion is, after doing a google search myself, because my school is pretty small and doesn't show up on a lot of searches for colleges in the US. I will give you that, after looking up the number myself, it's more like 50-70%, but I will tell you that less than a quarter of the people I know and talk to on a regular basis are straight and cisgender.

I'm not writing an english essay here, it's a tumblr post. If anything, this is a lot closer to how I would format a philosophy paper, which, if you've ever read one of those, are very rambly and have roundabout ways of getting to the point. Also, again, thanks for not attacking my character, here. Thanks for really respecting me and not discrediting my nearly completed degree. Really appreciate that.

I... have no words. I used they/them/theirs pronouns throughout the whole post, which, I cannot stress enough, are NEUTRAL pronouns. I use those pronouns for all people online, and I think most other people do too. Yes, I knew he used he/him and used they/them instead, but I also cut his username out of all my screenshots. I wasn't talking about him specifically, his post was just an excuse for me to explain a concept in depth, and explain why exclusionism such as what he was promoting is detrimental to the queer community as a whole.

I didn't include his username or @ him at all. It wasn't even meant for him to look at, really. He was an example, a nebulous person with an opinion I don't agree with. It wasn't personal, so I used neutral pronouns. I am really sorry it came across that way though, I never want to make anyone uncomfortable and I know pronouns are super important to pay attention to for some people. This is an actual sincere apology.

I don't think I'm morally superior, that's not the point. I don't argue with people on the internet in order to prove my opinions are right and that anyone else with different opinions has made a wrong and evil choice and is unredeemable as a person. Really this whole thing happened because the original post had some terfy red flags and even though op isn't a terf, I wanted to point it out so that people know how to spot it and avoid it.

And do I think it's bad for the community to exclude mspec lesbians? Yes, but I also understand where the frustration comes from. I don't think less of people who have that opinion, I just hope to change their minds, because I think a radically inclusive community is the best kind of community.

#god this post got long #i just. this whole exchange just makes me sad because theyre not even terfs #we actually have mostly the same opinions save for this one #his blog is pretty cool aside from the exclusionary stuff #but he and his followers dont want to try and understand where im coming from which is to be expected on the internet but still disappointi #oh well. i hope anyone who has been following this whole exchange got something valuable out of it #i almost didnt reply to this last anon but i did think it was important specifically to clarify the pronoun thing #i do feel really bad that it came across that way and it was never my intention #queer #genderqueer #labels #identity #cloudy rambles

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detroitbecomeonline · 1 year

Text

DBH MODDING (1) - HOW I MADE JUICY

Hi everyone :) I'm going to start a lil mod diary because I'm trying my best to learn how to do stuff with like, 0 prior understanding. I'm writing everything I find out because frankly, I can't find info like this elsewhere. I have to figure everything out myself. If you're like me, and have no experience or knowledge in manual modding what-so-ever, I hope this series of entries will help you! If anyone has any information or extra points, PLEASE say something lol. If I'm wrong, I'm begging you to correct me!!!

It's currently 30/12/2022 and for the last 3 days, I've been looking at modstuffs for Detroit: Become Human. I started with the browser model swapper and successfully located the game file it needs. For me, I downloaded DBH through Steam, so I go the HDD (where I keep my Steam stuff) > steamapps > common > Detroit Become Human > and the file will be in the list of BigFiles. HOWEVER I made a new folder just on my HDD called "Original BigFile_PC idx" and copied and pasted the original file into there so if anything breaks, I can just plug my original back in.

That's how I can get shots like this, because I swapped Connor's game model for North's:

I have been hanging out in a DBH modding server, and they're talking words my uneducated ass can hardly understand. But what I have picked up is this:

Mokit is like, movement capture? Like how Bryan explained that the little dots on his face capture the actors movement. And there are a bunch of cameras and stuff. idk here's a YouTube vid. So anyway these movements are saved in files and you can switch mokits with characters.

Pretty sure points on mokits are labelled or something, because in the model swapper, an elbow is an elbow, whether you're North or Sumo.

And so also in the model swapper, you can switch out these files. I have no idea how to do this manually. I haven't experimented with the mokit swaps yet anyway.

After that, I downloaded the Custom Texture Tool (also found in More Tools) and yesterday I cracked it open. Here's what it looks like upon opening:

I locate my game through HDD > steam > steamapps > common > Detroit Become Human. Then this all comes up on the left:

And I'm like dang. I have no idea what any of this does, but what's really cool is that I can see which files are attributed to which BigFile (which I previously couldn't open). Immediately I go for the catalogue, because SURELY that's where the textures live. It looks like this when I open up the Catalogue tab.

I chilled out and browsed the files for a bit before searching for Connor. I really liked how these files are named just because of story structure and specific scenes. It makes so much sense, thank you CONNOR_INTO2.

So rn I can't view a lot of files and I didn't quite understand why, but after a quick Google, it's because you need a specific program to grab em. But anyway, you see that black-red-green-blue square in the third row fifth column in the screenshot? I was like oh man. I know what THIS is for. I export the DDS file (I save the image) and it opens up in PAINT DOT NET. so im like ok ok i'll do it. I gotta.

Using Common Sense, I swatch the red and the green and I keep the text in the parameters of where the old text was so that it goes on Connor's uniform in the right spot. I have no idea what the red and green colours mean. After that, I save it as a separate file in another folder on my HDD. Here is a comparison of the before and after:

I don't know why they have to be upside down, but yep. + Sorry, it's unfortunate I can't upload the Juicy texture to this post. Must be to do with the DDS file format or whatever.

Anyway, this was the result:

crying

So I'm like okay, I understand this a little. I want to colour other stuff. After a whole bunch of dicking around with files (and I will not document my painful process), I watch a video on texture maps. My mind BLEW because:

I could identify the normal maps (purple ones).

I understand now that roughness maps will be the maps that make uniform textures shine or not. (I don't know which ones are roughness maps yet).

A few more things:

This is Connor's uniform jacket and this is his belt, but they're completely different texture maps. I have no idea what the red and green mean. Maybe it's to communicate to the roughness maps what to apply? (Shiny belt buckle vs leather strap.) And for Connor's jacket, here is where I can change the colour and look, but it won't change the fabric texture and actual shape. Anyway, so I'm going to download a 3D model program to see if that gives me a better understanding of things.

I'll update you soon!

~ Trinity

#dbh #dbh mods #detroit become human #becomeonlinemodgallery #bomoddiary #mymoddiary #mine

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scarletpoupee · 2 years

Text

OK, I am kinda angry...

Last night on some interview podcast, Charlize Theron (btw actually pronounced "Tron") said that Afrikaans is a "dying langauge" and only like "44 people speak it" (paraphrased). Even went as far to say that it's a "useless language" (again paraphrase). Even the host, who is a Dutch, and have spoken about Afrikaan in the past acknowledged that he "didn't know it was a completely different langauge".

To both of yall, and especially Theron, are you fucking kidding me!?

Theron likes to use her Afrikaanse heritage as a token in so so many interviews. Constantly bringing it up. And I guess this wasn't doing the "oh wow" thing she was hoping for anymore, so she decided to rather just declare it a useless and dying language? To make herself appear even more special? She has turned her back against her South African origins years ago, but refuse to acknowledge it. She is essentially an American at this stage.

Yes, she is a good actress, and it's amazing that she got her way to Hollywood from Benoni, RSA. Very few people can say that. But don't use your platform to discredit and spread false information?

Some Afrikaans schools have more than 44 children per class. Every day there are music being written, poetry being composed, movies being shot, TV series being created - all in afrikaans. There are dedicated TV stations (plural) and radio stations (plural) that's only Afrikaans. Almost every university has a whole Afrikaans department. A seperate department. While the rest of the African languages are all grouped together into a single department.

Simply because Afrikaans is not used in her everyday life anymore and doesn't hold any true value outside of her one-trick-interview-talent, doesn't mean its a useless language. That's like me saying since I haven't heard anyone speak French, it's a useless langauge? Because I don't actively use or engage with the Italian culture and language, I state its a dying culture? Fuck, I can even say, because I don't really have Zulu friends, nor speak isiZulu, I deem it useless and dying? (PS Zulu is arguable one of the most useful languages to speak in South Africa, above English, above Afrikaans.)

Like are you fucking kidding me.

Now I am not saying this as purely a hate against her, or her chose of false information.

What I am angry about it how this completely destroys the true narrative for languages that really are facing distinction and recognition.

You know what are languages that are facing drying out?

'Ōlelo Hawai'i, San and Khoi (also referred to as the Bushman Langauges), Romania and so so many more (PS some of these I know aren't the correct / true names, but the english equivalents, I had to do a Google search to find some, open to corrections).

Theron saying a nonvulnerable langauge is vulnerable is removing the attention off of those languages that are truly endangered.

This is what I am mad about more. The ignorance. The use of her culture to make herself seem more special for her own popularity and gain. The spread of false information. The erasure of cultures and languages that (arguably) deserve more of our time than others.

Op die einde van die dag, Charlize, Afrikaans is nie 'n stewende taal nie. Gebruik eerder jou platform vir iets beter as om valse inligting te versprei. Of hou eerder net jou mond, wat eerlik waar, vok jou.

Ok...I'm done ranting now...

#charlize theron #afrikaans #afrikaans language #south africa #fuck you #theron #long post #rant

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proshippy-fox · 7 months

Note

hi there! I'm not really knowledgeable on fandom culture and rules and i can't get a clear definition of what proshipping means for the life of me. sometimes i see an explanation that makes me think "oh ok that just sounds like how any rational person ought to engage with media/fandom" and then i see an explanation that makes me think it's kinda unhinged. so! i came across your blog and thought i might ask for what it means to you if you have the time and energy for it? my vague understanding of it is that it's like, yall don't reject anything with fandom/media, like, even the "problematic" stuff. does a proshipper mean you have to accept everything and engage with everything with an open mind, or do yall set your own boundaries on what you don't like and prefer not to engage with, without forcing that boundary on others? i took a brief spin over the most recent posts on your blog here and i've gathered that proshipping means yall don't want to like, mandate the media/fandom that everyone experiences bc one specific person doesn't like it/thinks it's immoral.

my stance on fandom and media is usually, there are things i don't like, and i set my own boundaries on what i wish to engage/not engage with. And like, i've definitely read some weird stuff, and I've decided that those just aren't meant for me. As long as something doesn't actively promote/cause harm to anyone in real life, I don't really care what people choose to do with their own media experiences. Which, that kinda sounds like some descriptions of proshipping that i've heard? But again, even just trying to google the definition never gives me a clear answer.

Anyways, answer this on your own time, I'm in no rush to get an answer I'm just curious. Thank you!

heya! being proship is generally "whatever fictional media or tropes that someone is into is not an indicator of their morality and character," at least to me.

I use the label because personally, and logically, it doesn't make sense to cherry pick tropes and say stuff like "violence is often glorified in fiction (especially video games) but it DOES NOT cause real life violence, while sexual violence or other things deemed illegal and immoral in real life being glorified (or even just depicted at all) in fiction DOES cause real life harm." the average person knows that immoral and/or illegal things are, well, immoral and/or illegal, and does not let depictions and enjoyment of such scenarios within a fictional setting affect their real life views.

and about boundaries I believe you would be correct in that most proshippers set their own boundaries and do not enforce it on others, not that proshippers have to accept and engage with any type of media. everyone has their own squicks and triggers, after all

I do agree that they are something you enforce on yourself, especially online. it is pretty rude to insist someone stop posting because it makes you personally. blocking and muting are the most common way to avoid content, which is also why tagging correctly is a big thing. (and especially recently, with the way tumblr tags work. "cw inc3st" will get past your filters if you only have "cw incest" filtered. I assume most of that problem comes from tiktok and maybe twitter, unfortunately)

the community is pretty big and, as with all sizable communities, things get confusing and mixed up.

anyway, I tend to talk a lot, but I hope this helped. thanks for sending an ask!

#proship #i did not expect to get an ask lol

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fatmasc · 2 years

Note

Hi! I'm trans masc, pre-everything and not binding, and I'm trying to learn how to alter/tailor my clothes. I was wondering if you have any tips on putting darts on clothing to help masculinize the silhouette, especially on shirts, and which dart placements to avoid? I figure there must be things tailors do for men who have wider hips or more fat on their chest, but it's really hard to find specific resources on less conventional shapes. Thanks for any help, and I love your blog!

oh great question! I'm gonna preface this by saying I do not have much tailor training. my degree was focused on industrial and couture production and i took a technical and plus size angle on my own.

That being, there's some basic theory to understand about darts. they basically act as a way to give a 3D structure to a 2D material (the fabric) so that it fits better. The length, width, curvature, and direction of the dart all effects this.

Here's an example of a men's fitted shirt block. Note the double pointed dart that passes over the waistline, and the small dart in the shoulder on the back.

The double pointed dart is really great for tapering a waist without building out too much space in the bust. You can also make uneven double pointed darts that are longer under the waistline than they are above, but this will change the shape in a different way than a balanced dart. Darts like these are often avoided on menswear, though, because they are usually placed on the princess line (a line that segments the body in visual thirds) which are more often associated w womenswear. This doesn't mean you can't use them, but it is something to keep in mind.

Another kind of "dart" is to take fullness out of the side seam. This will make the alteration virtually invisible, and can still give a very flattering. It's not foolproof and you can't correct all fit issues this way, but if you just want to taper a waist a little bit this is a good way to go (see how the image has a curved side seam? That's extra shaping so the darts aren't doing all the work!)

As for darts to avoid, avoid darts that are too wide (they'll give too much structure to your clothing and can look and feel awkward), and darts that point towards the bust. These are often placed in the armhole and exist to give shaping and support for breasts, so they're great unless you want a specifically masculine look

I hope this helps! I should also have some basic pattern drafting reads in my google drive linked in my pinned post if you want to read up more on the theory. Happy sewing!

#ask #long post

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arrowflier · 3 years

Note

I absolutely loved your last ficlet, the one inspired by Take Me to Church (well, I love EVERYTHING you write), so I'm here with a thought that maybe you can turn into something:

What if, for some reason, Mickey has to speak in Ukrainian (your pick why, maybe directions to tourists or a phone call with a distant relative) and Ian witnesses it and just goes: 😳🤯🤤🥵😍, followed by "can you do that again when we're in bed"?

Thank you anon! Disclaimer that I do not know Ukrainian, so if google led me astray I apologize.

That Foreign Tongue

They were out in the rig, on their way to a pickup, when Mickey got a call.

He fumbled in his pocket to pull out his phone, frowned at it in consternation as it blared.

“Who the fuck?” he mumbled to himself, then swiped to decline.

Ian looked over as he pulled to the curb outside their destination, curious.

“What was that?” he asked.

“Fuck if I know,” was all he got in answer. “Not a fuckin’ Chicago number, that’s for sure. Not New York, either,” he added before Ian can check. Mandy wasn’t great at staying in contact, but they knew to answer if it looked like it could be her.

Ian shrugged, and reached back to grab the cash bag from behind Mickey’s seat.

“Sure it wasn’t Mexico or something?” he prodded with a forced casualness, and Mickey rolled his eyes as he shoved open the door to get out.

He met Ian around the front of the ambulance, and promptly poked him in the chest, hard.

“What was that for?” Ian asked, wounded, and Mickey clicked his tongue.

“For still fuckin’ fishin’ about that,” he told his husband. “It’s been two fucking years, let it go already.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Ian huffed. “Sorry for wanting to know more about what you did down there that has people calling in the middle of the—”

“That was one time!” Mickey exclaimed, arms going wide. “One fucking time, and I told you what it was about! Roberto needed me to check on his damn kid, it had nothing to do with—”

“Well how was I supposed to know that,” Ian interrupted loudly, “when you were speaking a whole different language?”

“Oh, for the love of…” Mickey trailed off as he stormed away from Ian down the sidewalk.

He wasn’t really mad. They did this song and dance around once a month, still, ever since one of his old contacts had found him and called him up. It stuck in Ian’s craw that Mickey had had people down there, without him, even though, as he explained to him once, he was glad about it at the same time. They both knew it didn’t really matter—sometimes it just needed to come out.

Sure enough, Ian caught up with him after only a few strides, falling in beside him naturally. His cheeks were slightly flushed, but otherwise there was no indication of their brief argument.

Mickey gave him two minutes before he tried to smooth it over.

Ian didn’t last one.

“You know,” his husband started, reaching up to scratch at his jaw. “I’m just making sure none of those foreigners come up here and take what’s mine.”

Mickey snorted. “Yeah?” he prompted. “Think they’re coming for our jobs and our husbands, now?”

Ian’s lips lifted in a grin, their banter back on track the way they liked it.

“I mean,” he said, “I can’t really blame them.” He grabbed Mickey by the arm and brought them both to a stop right outside their drop, tugging him close enough for their boots to kick together on the pavement.

“A hot, red-blooded American man like yourself,” Ian murmured, getting his arms around Mickey’s waist. “You’re quite the catch, Mr. Gallagher.”

“Mmm,” Mickey hummed, leaning up to bring their faces closer. “That right, Mr. Milkovich?”

He was just about to follow it up with a good old-fashioned make-up kiss, when his phone blared again from his pocket.

“Damn it,” he hissed as he thumped his heels back down and dug it out again. This time, he answered it immediately.

“Whoever the fuck you are,” he shouted into it, “you’re interruptin’ something here.”

An unfamiliar voice came down the line, barely audible to Ian where he still stood close but with a clearly chastising tone, and the fight went out of Mickey in an instant.

“Prīvіt,” Mickey muttered, looking almost bashful, and Ian did a double-take. That wasn’t English, or Spanish…he had to try and listen in on a third language, now? When did Mickey even find the time to learn this shit?

Ian watched silently as Mickey listened to whoever was on the line. His husband had folded into himself, holding the phone to his ear with one hand and his elbow with the other, casting a quick glance up at Ian before turning his attention away again.

“Shcho novogo?” he asked into the phone, and then a brilliant smile crossed his face a moment later. “Dobre, dobre,” he said, then “vitayu”.

It sounded like the caller asked him a question, next, but Ian couldn’t hear what Mickey answered, his husband lowering his voice and turning his back. Ian tried not to let himself feel hurt at the sudden shut-out.

A moment later, the call was over with a quiet “do pobachenn'a”, and Mickey faced him again.

Ian wanted to ask, but he waited instead, hoping Mickey would explain. Thankfully, he did.

“So, uh,” he started off nervously. “That was my…like, my great-aunt or something?”

Ian could feel his eyebrows rising. “You have family you still talk to?” he asked, and Mickey shook his head immediately.

“Nah, not really,” he admitted. “But this one, she’s back in Ukraine still, guess she calls around sometimes to check on me and Mandy.” He looked down at the dark screen of his phone, lips twisted. “Been a couple years,” he added. “Didn’t think she had the new number, but uh. Guess one of my cousins just had a kid or somethin', so she wanted to catch up.”

Family was a touchy subject, Ian knew. So he went for the next obvious question instead.

“Ukraine? That mean you speak Ukrainian?”

Mickey just looked at him. “No, Ian,” he offered dryly, “I just thought I’d make some weird sounds and see if she could read my mind from across the fuckin’ ocean.” Ian didn’t respond, so he tacked on, “Yes, I speak Ukrainian. Sort of.” He rubbed his nose, looked away and back. “That gonna be a problem for you?”

It was a fair enough question. But this wasn’t like the Spanish, which was never really the problem anyway. It wasn’t a reminder of time they spent apart, or things he didn’t now. It was just Mickey. And Mickey's voice, and the way it rolled over those unfamiliar phrases so cleanly, so...attractively.

“Not at all,” Ian clarified quickly. Too quickly, maybe, because Mickey’s cautious look gave way to a slow smile.

“Oh, really?” Mickey said, apparently delighted. He grinned even wider when Ian felt his face flush. So his husband sounded hot in other languages, fucking sue him.

“Better watch out, man," Mickey warned. "I hear foreigners like me are out huntin’ down men like you nowadays.”

Ian cleared his throat, and closed the distance between them again. “And that’s a problem how?” he asked.

“Didn’t say it was, miy cholovik,” Mickey murmured lowly, raising a hand to grip at Ian’s hair once he was close enough. Ian’s breath caught at the soft look on his eyes that accompanied the foreign words.

“What does that mean?”

Mickey pressed their lips together once, twice, before pulling back just enough to answer.

“Nothing bad, moye sontse,” he breathed, and Ian shuddered.

“We have a job to do,” he reminded Mickey weakly, like he hadn’t been the one to start this. “You keep saying that weird shit, we’re gonna have to cancel all our pickups today.”

“You better make some calls then, miy kokhanets,” Mickey chuckled against his lips. “But first…”

He pushed Ian back into a convenient alley right next to their original destination, shoving until they hit the rough brick wall. Ian didn’t protest as Mickey started to tug at his camo jacket, getting the zipper down far enough to mouth at Ian’s neck.

“Ya tebe kokhayu, Ian” Mickey muttered against his skin, pressing tighter as Ian clutched at his back. “Let me show you how much.”

Hours later, at home, Ian asked Mickey what else his aunt had said.

"Oh, not much," Mickey answered, snuggling closer. "Wanted to see if we could catch a flight sometime, go visit the old country, that kind of thing."

"Is that something you'd want to do?" he prodded, and Mickey shrugged, shoulders moving against Ian's chest.

"I guess," he said, unconvincingly disinterested. "I'd have to teach you the language, though, none of my mom's folks speak English."

Ian's brain ground to a halt. If the day had been any indication, he wasn't sure he could survive language lessons with his husband.

But never let it be said that Ian Gallagher backed down from a challenge.

"Sure," he agreed, and he was sure of one thing when he felt Mickey smile against his neck--it was going to be the best worst decision of his life.

According to my admittedly poor research, Mickey basically says hi, what's up, good, congrats, goodbye, then calls Ian my husband, my sun, my lover and says I love you. It's most likely all horribly butchered because I only speak English and a tiny bit of German, if you know Ukrainian I would happily take correction.

#daily speedwrite #if you're ukrainian sorry for butchering your language #gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #foreign languages #fanfic

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megumar · 1 year

Text

i translated はっはー's TR/ID and NL/ID comics out of sheer force of curiosity

the translations might not be 100% correct (i used google translate) and i didn't translate some of the tiny texts, sorry about that 🙏

1/10

"Sadik's special made chocolates and Nesia's favorite very sweet chocolates"

TR : Don't you get tired of being stuck in meetings? That's why, I sometimes make sweets and bring them over.

ID : Thank you very much...

ID : *eats* I-It's delicious.

TR : I'm confident with sweets from my house!

ID : *whispers* I want everyone at SEA to eat this too...

TR : !

TR : I'll bring a lot next time! Would you like to make it together~? *strokes Nesia's hair*

ID : wai-- augh...

-------

2/10

TR : Shall we go out to eat after work?

ID : Sure.

TR : Even though the food is mainly desserts.

ID : Yes.

TR : i'm hoping to find something good.

ID : yes.

TR : You don't want it...?

ID : Ah, no... It's not like that, um...

TR : *thinking* Oh, this is...

ID : I'd love it! Very!! I'm thinking of eating something sweet...

ID : I'd love to go eat! I'm looking forward to it!

TR : Hahaha! I get it, I get it. *pats Nesia's back*

TR : Then, we should finish this quickly!

ID : ... Alright.

-------

3/10

ID : What is it?

TR : Hm?

ID : You keep staring at me, makes me hard to eat...

TR : Weeell~~ You have something over here. *pokes his own right cheek*

TR : You seem lost in thought while eating to the point that you don't even notice it.

ID : *blushes* Huh? Has it... always...?

ID : T-That's... more and more...

ID : WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER!!

TR : Hmm~?

ID : Ah... This is kind of embarrassing...

TR : Now, now~ Never mind that and eat more!

-------

4/10

TR : *pets Nesia's head* Indonesia is really a...

EG : SEKUHARA.

ID : U-Um...

TR : S-SE--!? Oi! It was Egypt who said that, right!!

TR : Ah, that's not it...

TR : Could it be that you didn't like it?

TR : If so, I don't mind if you tell me honestly.

TR : I won't do it again.

TR : No, really, I'm sorry...

ID : ...

TR : E-Err, this is just embarrassing...

ID : I didn't... hate it...

TR : O-Oh, I see...

ID : Yes.

TR : *internally* T-This is-- (sekuhara to what extent, exactly...?)

TR : As long as it's okay-!

TR : Should I hug? Or not!?

TR : EEEH?!

-------

5/10

TR : *still thinking* Will it be too chummy?? *flails*

(He's overthinks too much that he ended up not knowing how to communicate)

ID : Pfft-- Hahahahaha!

ID : Even though Mr. Turkey is wearing a mask, your emotions are leaking.

ID : you can't even say hello properly like that, can you?

ID : Mr. Turkey may hate it, but I like that kind of thing.

ID : I think it's cute. *chuckles*

TR : *internally* HAH? Leaking?? Like??? CUTE????

ID : I'm sorry. Am I being too rude?

TR : ... No, it's--

TR : ... Thanks.

TR : I'm so uncool, huh... (how miserable...)

EG : *thinking* Funny. (and stupid.)

ID : Eh, don't say that...!

-------

6/10 (this is the one that confuses me the most because of Ned’s dialect, please correct me if i’m wrong ;; )

ID : Do you still have something you want from me?

NL : If I do something like that now, the surroundings will be silent.

NL : You do it first.

ID : *slides away* ...

NL : Don't say you don't want it.

NL : Let's get along. (how overt)

ID : If you want to get along, then do something about it.

NL : Ha?

ID : There! There it is! You, and... A GHOST!!

NL : AAH? There's no way I can do it!

NL : Come on, me or the ghost, which one do you hate...? Answer clearly!

ID : BOTH!! (i don't want to get along!)

-------

7/10

NL : Let me take a ride.

ID : I'm not a taxi.

NL : I know, I'm not paying you.

ID : That's not the case, I mean, how did you know it was me?

ID : i'm wearing a full face in this crowd.

NL : I can not lose sight of you. *sparkles*

ID : Eh... *blushes*

ID : *trembling* Whoa... Please pardon me for not picking you up today. (vigilance MAX)

NL : Please, I beg you.

-------

8/10

NL : What is this? *frowns*

ID : Mr. Turkey gave them to me. Aren't they beautiful~?

NL : Ooh...

(Later...)

ID : *opens door* Wel... COME!?

NL : *hands a bouquet of tulips* Accept this.

ID : HA!?

ID : this house is already full of tulips!

NL : there is still space...

ID : it's enough!!

-------

9/10

ID : WHY ARE YOU IN THE SAME BED...!? (unbelieveable...)

NL : Shut up.

NL : Because you're scared of being alone in the dark.

ID : Ha!?

ID : Just as expected. I'm not a child who can't sleep alone at night.

NL : Of course... Otherwise I'll be in trouble... *smooches Nesia's forehead*

ID : *blushes* What the hell...? (we're not in a relationship anymore...)

ID : *thinking* Don't blame me...

-------

10/10

ID : *still thinking* He fell asleep...

ID : *internally, while he's hugging Ned* HAH!! Oops, a force of habit...!

ID : I have to leave while he's sleeping...

NL : *suddenly wakes up* Oh, how passionate.

ID : *blushes and sweats* A-AH... T-This is...!

ID : ALL YOUR FAULT---!!

NL : No it's not.

ID : ... Yes it is...

#hetalia #HOHOOO IM GETTING BACK #aph turkey #hws turkey #aph netherlands #hws netherlands #aph indonesia #hws indonesia #蘭ネシ #ranneshi #translations #megu write

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shotorozu · 3 years

Note

Hi! Before anything I wanted to lyk I've read through some of your work and you've easily become one of my favorite writers :) I was wondering if you could do a bit of a comfort post? If not that's totally okay! If so, could it be hcs for Bakugo, Shinso, and maybe Aizawa (but not in like a relationship kinda way for him, like a student opening up to their teacher) telling them about being gender fluid? What would be their reactions? How would they adjust to the name change and using different pronouns? I recently told my bf and he didn't seem too up for it, eventually I told him to use my given name and she/her, kinda bummed lmao. I totally understand if you don't want to write for this, tysm either way! Have a great night/day :) (I'm so sorry this is so lengthy lmaooo)

reader coming out as gender fluid

character(s) : bakugou katsuki, shinsou hitoshi, aizawa shouta (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name, D/N = deadname] gender neutral, quirk not specific

headcanon type : hurt-comfort, fluff (x reader; platonic)

note(s) : first of all, i’m sorry about what happened with your boyfriend, if he cares about you, then he should’ve been supportive. it’s disheartening knowing that you decided to have him address you by your birth name, and by she/her. it should never be that way, especially when you felt comfortable coming out to HIM as gender fluid.

anon, i really hope this post gives you comfort, and if you want to talk— my dms are open!

»»————-　♡　————-««

bakugou katsuki

he wasn’t so sure on why you were acting all skittish all of a sudden, and he just wished you told him what was up

as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, katsuki really hates seeing you this down— and if only he could ‘kill those pesky emotions!!’

after a long day at school, katsuki decided to demand an immediate answer, on WHY you were acting like this

you express your concern, and even though katsuki’s rough words say otherwise— he’s willing to help (as much as he could)

but he wasn’t expecting you to come out as genderfluid

the entire pronoun thing had him confused, and it wasn’t in the “huh?? why would you want that?” type of confusion

it was rather like the “i thought they/them were plural pronouns?” confusion, but don’t be misguided! a quick google search fixed it up, and now he gets it.

with the name thing,, it took him two tries for him to get it right— but he’ll treat you like royalty if he accidentally slips up. he doesn’t mean to disrespect you

out of everyone here— he would be the most confused at first, since he hasn’t had anyone come out to him in like,, ever

katsuki feels so honored to have you feel comfortable enough to come out to him.

everyone is so intimidated by his short-tempered demeanor, to the point that no one has shared such an important, and personal detail to him

he’ll pull you in for a hug, large warm hands rubbing your back— and he’s trying to be gentle, okay?

“you really thought i was gonna say some bullshit about this, huh?” was what he first said to break the silence “i could care less about what you fucking identify with, you’re still you.”

and he means it

if anyone disrespects you, he’s blowing them up into space— enraged that anyone would try to disrespect you.

katsuki’s also very quick to correct someone if they ever deadname you “IT’S Y/N, NOT D/N!”

rip to them

shinsou hitoshi

as soon as he notices that something’s wrong, his eyes will be on you— and only you.

he wishes he had some sort of mind reading quirk— he wants to know what’s on your mind, just so he could help you

hitoshi doesn’t want to be pushy, so he can only wait for you to come to him— but he will leave subtle hints that you could tell him anything that was on your mind.

so that’s when you decide to tell him your worries, and everything— feeling that you’re ready to come out to him as gender fluid

a small genuine smile will grace his face, pulling you into a loose embrace— “thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell me.”

the next thing he does is ask you if you want to go by anything else— just in case you do want to be addressed differently.

you’ll still be his kitty anyway, so it’s not like this change would negatively affect him.

you’ll never catch him slipping up

i’m sure he’s probably familiar with different types of identities— so gender fluidity isn’t a stranger topic to him

so because of this, he adapts pretty easily— cooperating with the new revelations with ease

rip to anyone that has the audacity to deadname or misgender you, it’s not something he takes very lightly similar to bakugou and aizawa

he’ll understand if it’s a innocent mistake, but he still won’t be pleased with the offender— that’s strike one for him

i swear— his glare will make anyone shart their pants in a second. it’s ruthless

hitoshi won’t hesitate on using his quirk on anyone that purposely disrespects you— and for once, he doesn’t care about what others will say about him.

they shouldn’t have disrespected you 🤷‍♀️ just saying

if you wanted to buy clothes that were a lot more gender neutral, he’s perfectly fine with that too!

hitoshi doesn’t care if you strip him of every single penny and dime that was in his wallet for hoodies and sweatpants.

he just wants your happiness to be at it’s highest at all times— because a happy Y/N makes a happy hitoshi <3

aizawa shouta

even though he has to take care and supervise 23 growing teenagers, he still manages to notice if something’s wrong with one of them it’s impressive!

of course— aizawa’s a busy man, and he’s constantly tired. but, it would make him feel a lot better if all of his students were content with themselves

so seeing you down was something he noticed since the moment you came in

it’s not like he could FORCE you to tell him what was wrong, that’s not the approach he’s looking for

and besides, if you told him that everything was fine, then he couldn’t really push it. his concern didn’t really die down though

a few days later, aizawa decides to talk to you again— basically consenting you to come talk to him when the time’s right

but he didn’t see this coming

so that’s when you decide to come out to him first, spilling out your concerns, and the worries that plagued your mind— worried that people wouldn’t accept your new identity as a gender fluid person

now, aizawa has met a lot of people in his life. from different ages, people with different quirks, and of course— different identities

he asks you why you decided to tell him first, and you told him that it’s because you felt comfortable knowing he knew first

“thank you for telling me, Y/N” he thanks you calmly with a comforting hand on your shoulder “i’m proud of you.”

he asks you if you want to go by a different name, and he’ll make sure to start calling you by that name (even though he calls all of his students by their last name)

oh, and he immediately switches pronouns! i know that should be expected but,, it’s so natural wow

of course, he won’t out you to anyone if you’re not ready to come out to the rest

and because of how natural the pronouns switch is, no one notices it when aizawa started addressing you with they/them

but if you’re ready to come out, he’ll be there— silently making sure that everyone accepts you.

okay but he’ll get so defensive if anyone misgenders you or dead names you— his capture tape will start floating, and his eyes will shine red

which is weird because.. who has the guts to dead name/misgender AIZAWA SHOUTA’s student?? anyone that does that in front of him is INSANE

in short, he’s very supportive— he won’t blow it out of proportion, because he knows how uncomfortable that’d feel if he did

but he’s glad to know that you decided to share such a important detail to him— aizawa might be always tired, but he wouldn’t dare to forget such detail

you’re his student after all, he cares about you lots— if you’re content with yourself, then that’d bring him inner peace

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

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leviiattacks · 3 years

Note

heyyy there, saw your requests are open. and i'm wondering maybe you could do a timeskip where everything is done and levi finally opened his tea shop. then there he met reader, and he treats them differently from other customers. thank you, hope you're having a good day.

author note :: this was kinda rushed as is most of what i post. the reader is a writer just bc i thought it would be cute and also ISTG. i wrote this entire thing thinking leviolas was such a cool name for a tea shop then googled it and saw it’s also the name of a spider so... ++ btw i have not yet double checked or proofread this because i wrote it at 2am but yeah it’s definitely not great :-) word count :: 2.4k??? somehow???

you’re sweet like honey when you first order from leviolas. you’re the same when you ask the owner for extra napkins and you remain exactly the same when you return with the intention to stick around for a writing session with a black tea by your side

something about you is attractive. that’s what levi thinks of you when you first walk into leviolas

you’re just incredibly wholesome poking your head around looking at all of the handmade pastries and confectioneries in admiration

you think the homely decor is cute and reminiscent of cottages in the countryside, the view outside the windows is beautiful and the scent of coffee alongside tea is heavenly

the pastries are beautiful and you find yourself eyeing the macrons pretty frequently. just EVERYTHING about leviolas is cute :-(

but one particular thing is especially adorable to you

and that would be the owner

when you hear his name for the first time you’re a little shocked

levi ackerman to be specific captain levi ackerman, the high ranking official who aided in paradis’ independence and freed the nation from the grip of titans

you read about him a year back in a paper or two and vividly recall the valiant title he held as humanity’s strongest soldier

he still holds the title that’s for sure but now he happens to own a tea shop

it’s slightly unusual it’s not every day you see a soldier retire and live such a plain life but you suppose the simplicity makes levi happy

honestly, if you had been through hell and back like him you too would wish to spend the rest of your days in the company of tea leaves and sweet cakes

today is a day like any other you’re sat by one of the windows and contemplating sitting in the outside seating area

the sun is shining and lands uncomfortably on your face at this angle and you may as well make your way outside

but before you can a shadow looms over you and a broad chest leans over to cover the window with dainty curtains

“you looked bothered by the light.”

oh god.

it’s him.

he’s standing there looking at you with an unreadable expression and all you can do is open and close your mouth not knowing what to say

humanity’s strongest soldier

levi ackerman

also known as the really really really attractive cafe owner you’ve been crushing on for the last few months now

seeing him up close is much more different to looking at him from the comfort of your seat or whilst you order

he’s normally got his back turned whilst collecting orders or another worker collects them as he prepares the beverages

that’s why the unexpected interaction has you nervous

you can always tell when he’s made your drink because he honestly has a way with tea leaves and you kinda want to gush about how much you enjoy it

but, no, no, no.

you’re panicking just looking at him

soft black strands of hair stick to his forehead, his undercut is oddly satisfying to stare at and he smells of pine trees which again is refreshing

“ah hahaha thank you for blocking the sun out!!”

why the fuck did you ha ha????

this is so awkward.

putting on your best front you beam up at him hoping your toothy smile doesn’t look stupid

then again it probably does because who the hell has a good toothy smile

nobody.......

levi’s gaze lingers on you but if he has anything else he wants to say he doesn’t make it known

instead he firmly nods and turns away

you’ve messed up,,

only!!! you manage to mess up even more....?

without thinking your hand latches onto the back of his blue button up and your face burns up realizing what it is you’ve done when he stiffens to a stop

as quick as your hand has grabbed onto his shirt it lets go and you awkwardly laugh again

hahahahaha

“i’m sorry i didn’t mean to hold onto you so hard i was just...wondering if you could let me in on your secret.”

the random sentence is one you’ve made off the top of your head because you don’t have any real reason for holding onto him

but thankfully for you the saccharine of your voice is enough to sway levi

when he turns to see you with the same smile eagerly awaiting his answer something sparks in him

his chest feels a little funny but he ignores it

“secret?” he questions

“yeah!! your tea!! you’re really good at making it and aaaahhhh” you sigh contently thinking back on it.

“i remember when i ordered rose tea one time. you made it beautifully and the taste was infused so delicately it was incredibly soothing.”

hearing you ramble passionately about what he loves to do makes his chest feel funny again

he doesn’t know what the hell is going on exactly

but the only way he can explain it is his heart somersaulting and flipping despite him not wanting it to

despite that, it’s quite enjoyable

it’s probably got something to do with your kindhearted demeanor or the way you always manage to give him a smile when you waltz in

but levi finds himself fighting to touch you more and more as the days pass

your collar is always haphazardly done and he wants to lean in and fix it

sometimes you’ll have an eyelash on your face and he wants to lean in to swipe it away with his thumb

occasionally he stares at your hair and wants to sort it out. half the time it’s all over the place from the wind

he wants to lean in and smooth it out.

all he wants to do is LEAN IN but he sees no valid reason to

he’s lucky he’s always able to catch himself before his thumb reaches your cheek (you’re very oblivious and never notice how close he really gets)

ever since your first encounter at leviolas a few months back he’s been dragged into your world of books and lively stories

it doesn’t take you long to break out of your shell and you’re always telling levi something new

he doesn’t speak as much as you but when you coax out a story or two out of him he’s always earnest

you’ve learnt a lot through the conversations

you’ve learnt about his lost comrades, the horrible things he had to see on the battlefield, how he hopes he’ll live happy with what he has left

there are certain conversation topics he skips entirely and you respect his boundaries

you and levi are sat by a window and a comfortable silence floats between you two

it’s been four months

four months since you asked what his secret was

come to think of it he never told you what it was

he’s intently staring at you as you drink the lemon tea he’s just made you and his stare is a little too intense

feeling nervous you pick up your cup hoping for something to occupy yourself

recently the butterflies in your stomach have been increasing in number but you know it’s wrong to fancy levi

you don’t know why you think that but it’s the fact that you’re sure you’re not his type

he probably likes organised people, dependable people, funny people

not you.

you’re just an irksome author who spends your days writing in his shop

honestly he finds you annoying he has to. you’re always hanging around here

however, you do remember the one day you did choose to write in the park he thought you had died or something. that made you feel a little sad because he can’t really help but automatically worry if his routine is broken and you happen to have accidentally become part of his schedule

no, like levi’s literally said he has your name in his planner and whenever he thinks of a new thing to make you he’ll write it down with your name next to it

but still,, you’re convinced he has to find you annoying

there’s no reason for thinking it but you DEFINITELY think it’s correct

absentmindedly you haven’t even noticed levi still staring at you

“y/n?”

looking up at levi he’s clearly worried about something

humming in response telling him to continue he does

“i like someone.”

oh.

“...i’m not sure they’d return my feelings, that’s why i mentioned it.”

you smile at him warmly and you feel your heart sink, obviously he has to like someone. it’s probably someone in the corps, someone strong, someone capable. you’re not any of those things.

“well, you need not worry. if a man as good as you fancied me i’d be over the moon. i’m sure they would too!”

keep optimistic, don’t let him see you upset.

levi’s cheeks grow bright red and he bashfully tries to hide his embarrassment by covering his face with his hands

you laugh when he doesn’t budge and stays in the same position

“c’mon levi, confess they’ll accept you have nothing to fear.” you coo persuasively

finally letting up after a few seconds he lets his arms drop to his sides.

“would you date me?”

the question takes you aback and you stare at him startled

soon realizing the idiocy laced in the inquiry he quickly retracts his statement

“nevermind, that was stupid.”

ignoring him you still want to answer

“uh well, i would. i have thought about it on occasion.”

he’s blinking rapidly trying to process what you’ve just admitted.

“you’ve thought about...?”

“dating you. yes i have.”

“and why the hell would you do that?” you can’t tell if he’s mad at you

“you’re capable, respectful. you’re considerate and quiet. i mean it you’re an amazing man really. also your tea!! imagine getting to drink it every day.”

you really have to add in the part about his tea because you know he loves it when you compliment it :-)

“ok, you drink my tea every day already.”

his short uninterested response stings and the dam of regret bursts open

you shouldn’t have said all of that.

you and levi sit in an awkward silence for what feels like an eternity. you don’t dare look at him and your course of action is too drink your tea as quick as possible before dismissing yourself.

but before you can set your plan in motion levi breaks the ice.

“let’s date.”

you freeze and your eyes grow to the size of saucers

what did he just say???

he has to be losing his mind

“but levi what about the person you like?”

his eyebrow cocks upwards and an amused expression stretches across his face.

“i was talking about you.” he confesses boldly

this is a fever dream, nope, nope nope. you can not comprehend that this is your reality.

pinching your arm you hiss a little when you feel the pain

okay so, you’re definitely not dreaming...

“i, you, me. you...you like me?” the sentence is a jumble of words but you manage to sputter out something that makes sense

“yes. i like you.”

he’s being so blunt you can’t tell if he’s being serious but when you remind yourself that this is levi you relax, a blunt straightforward confession is meaningful coming from him

BUT THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT

HELLO???? HE LIKES YOU BACK?%^%^”*

you get all blushy and flustered and you let out another one of your awkward hahahahaha’s but it’s a good hahahahaha

cautiously testing the waters he grabs your hand from across the table intertwining his fingers with yours

the gesture is adorable. the buzzing sensation that travels through your laced fingers makes you giggle to yourself giddily

“leviolas suddenly a matchmaking agency now? ;-)” your joke is dry and unfunny and levi rolls his eyes at it

“you’re not funny.”

“but you still like me.” you tease

“yes. i still like you.” he admits

a few days have passed since then

you and levi have been the talk of the town

humanity’s strongest soldier finally found his flame???

the chatter and rumors spread like wildfire, both you and levi aren’t fans of being in the spotlight but nothing negative has been said so there’s no complaints so far

levi places a cup of tea in front of you, it’s a herbal kind because you’ve been complaining about a headache

today you’re explaining why you dislike the plot of beauty and the beast and how there’s so much wrong with it. from the weirdly toxic relationship to the power imbalance. levi stands listening attentively whilst waiting for you to take a sip of the tea

just as you’ve paused to take a large breathe and prepare yourself to continue explaining how unbearable that book is levi uses it as his chance to say what he’s been wanting to

“drink up before it’s ice cold.”

following his instructions you interrupt yourself and take a gulp of the herbal tea

your eyes glimmer in approval. it tastes of strawberries and you’re delighted already feeling your mood slightly raise in response

“it’s GREAT?? what did you put in it?? it doesn’t even taste medicinal.” once again, you’re fawning over his tea

“so levi ackerman, what really is the secret to all these perfect cups of tea?”

and without a seconds hesitation he responds.

“i was making the tea for you. that’s the secret.”

it takes a while for the gravity of his words to sink it but when the meaning does you cup his face in your palms and peck him everywhere. he whines a little but you can tell he enjoys the attention

you find that you’re more than happy you’ve found a home in levi and his shop

and levi’s more than happy he’s found a home in you and your books

:-)

#leviiattacks #aot #attack on titan #levi x reader #levi x y/n #snk #aot fanfiction #attack on titan levi #levi ackerman #levi #shingeki no kyoujin #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi drabbles #attack on titan x reader #levi fanfiction #levi headcanons #tea shop levi #levi scenario #levi fluff

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"Doppelganger" *Part 23*

WHOO, y'all. I don't know what it is about this story but I am just...rolling it all out with the tragic backstory. No angst, I promise-- It ends happy chill out. But damn. Maybe I'm working out my own issues in here...lulz.

This gif will make so much sense you have no idea.

PART 22

Part 24

Tag List

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@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

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@objection-argumentative

------

“....And how did that make you feel?”

You tried not to laugh out loud as the question left Dr. Crestview’s mouth. Did she really just ask you that?

“...I mean it makes me ‘feel’ bad,” You rolled your eyes with a laugh while looking out the window. When you turned back to the doctor she was not laughing, and she was writing something down.

“...That was a joke,” You clarified.

“Oh yes, I get it,” She nodded as she continued writing.

“Do you?” You asked her frankly. The question caused her to stop writing and look at you.

“Mrs. Barba--”

“Ms. YLN,” You corrected. “I’m not married yet,”

“...Hmm, interesting,” She wrote something down. Seriously? She even had an insight on what-- technicalities?

“I’m sorry, was that some sort of test?” You asked sarcastically.

“Actually, it was,” She said to your surprise.

“Excuse me?” You looked at her, baffled.

“You know when most women get engaged, they start imagining their last names as their husbands. You know such as changing their signature, gathering documents, and the like,”

“...Are you serious?” You laughed again. “This is 2021 lady, half the women I know didn’t even take their husband’s last name at all,”

“And is that what you’re going to do?” She asked. “Keep your last name?”

“...If I say yes are you going to psychoanalyze that too?” You crossed your arms.

“In my experience Ms. Y/L/N, women who don’t want to change their last names tend to do so because they want to keep their independence, their…’identity’. They think taking a man’s last name is ‘giving up’ something. Giving up their identity,” She explained.

“...And?” You gestured with your hand as if waiting for her to continue.

“And in my educated opinion, it also signifies a woman going into a marriage with one foot out of the door already,” She simply stated.

“Wow,” You shook your head with a sarcastic laugh. “Did I come here to resolve my trauma, or for marriage advice?”

“I think they’re one and the same, Ms. Y/L/N,” She stayed completely calm and emotionless.

“Are they?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Given what you’ve told me in our last few sessions, you’ve given off a tone that you don’t think you deserve good things. Maybe you’re keeping on foot out of your relationship so that when it falls apart, you’ll be ready,”

“Wow....wow,” You started to stand up and storm out of the office, but she stopped you with a question.

“I’m sorry if I offended you with my observation Y/N, but be honest. Am I wrong?”

You thought about all the talks you had with Rafael about ‘not being good enough’ for him, or ‘stealing his love’. And on the one hand you felt that you were ‘connected’, you felt safe and secure. After everything you’d been through, it was almost impossible not to be, right? Right?

“....And what is your magic solution to this feeling, doctor?” You crossed your arms.

“You need to forgive yourself,”

“...Jesus Christ,” You rolled your eyes with another laugh as you paced the room. “Really? That’s your solution? Telling me something I already know?”

“No, my solution is this: You need to apologize to your parents,”

“EXCUSE ME?” You practically screamed.

“You blame yourself for their death, correct? You think that because of their desire to make you happy they risked their lives driving into the city and therefore got into their accident,” She looked over her notes from past sessions with you.

“...Right,” You looked down at the floor.

“And I don’t think that you have ever forgiven yourself for that. And in not doing so, you haven’t forgiven yourself for anything you’ve done since then. All these things you say you’ve ‘done’ to Mr. Barba that you should be ‘punished’ for-- he doesn’t see it that way. Other people don’t see it that way. Your parents' accident wasn’t your own doing, getting kidnapped wasn’t your fault. I think that you need to find closure with your parent’s death before you can even begin to ‘forgive’ yourself for whatever transpired between you and Nevada Ramirez,”

“....So you want me to apologize to my parents? How are they going to ‘forgive’ me?” You asked her.

“I think you’ll find Ms. Y/L/N that just the act of apologizing will bring about its own form of forgiveness,” She smiled.

“.....Right…” You tried not to sound condescending, but for a shrink she sure sounded crazy.

“Or don’t listen to me, I can’t force you to do anything. But that is my advice,” She shrugged.

“Noted. Thank you, doctor,” You nodded and walked out the door.

----

You walked out into the streets of the city from your doctor’s office and thinking about just how or when you’d have a chance to go to your hometown where your parents were, when you were stopped by a young girl on the street.

“Oh my god...you’re Y/N!” She gasped.

“...Yes?” You stared at her blankly.

“You’re that girl who killed Nevada Ramirez!” She squealed, causing a few people to stare and take pictures of you as they walked past.

“Oh good lord…” You muttered nervously. “Yeah well um--”

“Can I get a selfie with you?”

“Um--” You looked around, not sure of what to do. You wanted to run down the street screaming, but you thought better of it. You turned back to her with the fakest smile you could form.

“Sure!” You threw an arm around her and smiled as big as you could as she snapped a selfie with her phone.

“Thanks!” She beamed at you. “ And by the way, your fiancé is REALLY sexy,”

“Oh girl I know,” You faked a laugh and a toss of your hair as she walked away with a laugh.

It really creeped you out that girls were ‘fangirling’ over your fiancé. As if you weren’t worried about keeping a hold of him all on your own. Also how did she even know what he looked like?

The article.

You grabbed your phone and did something you told yourself you’d never do: You googled yourself.

The first thing that popped up was an article on the NYTimes.com front page:

“Fairy Tale Romance Or Horror Movie?”

...What the fuck?

The article contained your video as the main focus. Then under it the article basically dictated the video, with Tasha’s opinions thrown in here and there. Then most of the photos from the photoshoot of you and Rafael were at the bottom of the page. They were gorgeous, you had to admit. Granted you were both airbrushed to hell, but Rafael in a suit drove you nuts. Even if it was just on a screen. You dialed his number as you continued walking down the street.

“....Hola, mi amor. How is my pinguino feeling?”

“Well she’s currently feeling like she’s got the sexiest man in New York City,” You grinned.

“Oh really? And why’s that?” He asked you curiously.

“Check out the picture I’m texting you,” You grinned as you texted him one of the photos from the spread.

“Oh Christ…” You heard him mutter through the phone, causing you to giggle.

“Oh yes, you even have your own fangirls now,” You rolled your eyes with a smile.

“No I do NOT,” He argued in disbelief.

“Yeah I’d be careful leaving your office there counselor, a group of tweens might be waiting outside,”

“Oh my god...they’re breaching the doors!” He acted terrified, making you laugh harder.

“Oh I think I see one,” You whispered as if you were sneaking up on someone. “She’s holding a ‘Barba 4Eva’ poster board,”

“You better be kidding,” He warned.

“No, in fact I think she’s right outside your door,” You bit your tongue with a smile.

“Oh well I’d better call security then,” He chuckled as he sauntered over to his office door and swung it open.

“Oh my Gooodddddddd it’s Rafael Barba!!! The sexiest ADA in New York City!!” You giggled wildly, jumping into his arms like a crazed fan.

“I should definitely look into some armed guards at my door,” He laughed as he pulled you into his arms and kissed you.

“Oh most definitely, wouldn’t want to let the crazies in,” You nodded as you kissed him again.

“Well I think it’s too late for that…” He teased you while tousling your hair.

“Shut up,” You playfully hit his hands away.

“Speaking of crazy, how was therapy today mi amor?” He asked cheekily.

Wowwwww, sexy AND sensitive, how did I get so lucky?” You rolled your eyes. “Actually, she gave me homework,”

“Did she?” He inquired.

“Yes,” You suddenly got very serious. “She um, she told me I need to go see my parents,”

“...Your parents?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, something about needing to ‘apologize’ to them or some weird shrink thing like that,”

“....Do you think it will help?”

“I mean...” You sighed and looked out the window. “I don’t know. But I’d like to try,”

“Bueno,” He nodded walking closer to you and kissing the top of your head. “So are you going to go now or--?”

“Well I was kind of hoping you’d come with me,” You bit your lip. You didn’t know if asking him to come along on your shrink homework assignment was allowed, but you knew you couldn’t do this alone. Maybe that was the point.

“Really?”

“I mean, I met your family,” You half laughed, trying to make light.

“Right,” He nodded his head with a chuckle. “Well then, let’s go,”

“...Now?”

“Why not?” He started to walk towards the door.

“Don’t you have a job?” You pointed to his desk.

“Oh they just like to pay me to sit in here so nobody robs the place,” He joked as he grabbed his coat. “I have nothing going on today baby, they won’t miss me.”

“Okay then,” You shrugged uneasily. “Guess we’re going to Jersey,”

----------------

After a train ride and a taxi later, you arrived in your small town of Shallow Meadow.

“Christ Almighty, I knew Jersey was in the dark ages, but not even having Uber??” Rafael grumbled. He hadn’t been in the back of a dirty cab in such a long time, and now he remembered why.

“Alright Daddy Warbucks, chill,” You laughed as you started walking with him through town.

It was a quaint little town; one stop light, one grocery store, two bars, something out of an old movie really You know the movies where the car breaks down in the tiny shitty town and all the townspeople are flesh eating zombies or something. The people of Shallow Meadow were pretty much like that. Well, to you anyway.

“So why didn’t we just have the Mayberry Express drop us at the cemetery?”

“...Because we don’t have roads you can drive on up there,” You answered with a nervous smile.

“...Right,” He shook his head as he noticed people coming out of shops to stare at the two of you. “...Do I have some kind of weird sign on my back that says NEW YORKER or what?”

“No, but that thousand dollar suit screams “moneybags” out here,” You smirked. “Besides, they’re not staring at you they’re staring at me,”

“...What? How do you know that?”

As if it was answering his question, a girl with bright red hair dressed in farm clothing and holding a baby on her hip came sauntering up to the two of you.

“Well lookie here,” She smirked. “Miss Prissy Pants brought back herself a Prissy Papa,”

“Excuse you?” Rafael was taken aback by such rudeness by such a poorly dressed person.

“Marla back off,” You scowled at her. “Just because you’re upset I found treasure and you’re stuck with trash--”

“OH, is that what we are now? Trash?” Marla spat. “You have a lot of nerve coming back here and saying that, murderer,”

“WHOA,” Rafael stepped in front of you. “I’m sorry, what-- what did you just call her?”

“Did she not tell you the story? Oh no wait I bet she did, her version. The version where she’s the victim and we’re all just the villains. Isn’t that right, Prissy?” She glared at you.

“...I never said you were--” You tried defending yourself.

“Really?” She scoffed. “Then why did you not even bother to show up to your folks’ funeral? Their ONLY daughter, the ones they DIED for. Couldn’t even be bothered to leave her high rise in the city to pay respects to the parents she KILLED,”

“It wasn’t like that and you KNOW it, Marla! And why was I going to come back? The only two people left in this town that tolerated me were gone--” You got up in her face.

“AND WHY IS THAT, Y/N?” She got back in yours, her baby almost falling out of her arms.

“Alright lady I don’t know who you are, but you’re going to back the hell off my fiancée--”

“Oh good God, your fiancé?” Marla laughed. “You would find yourself a sugar daddy, since you killed yours,”

“Alright you know what we’re leaving--” You grabbed Rafael’s hand and stomped away towards a huge hill that had a sign reading “CEMETERY” at the top.

“I hope you’re heading up there to beg their forgiveness Y/N, ‘cuz you sure as hell ain’t getting any down here!” Marla yelled angrily after you.

--------------

“...Well I think we just figured out where your forgiveness issues came from,” Rafael tried making light of the situation.

“Ya think?” You nodded.

“This whole time,” Rafael shook his head. “This whole time I thought you just had it in your mind that you were responsible for their death. But-- but you had an entire town telling you that,”

“...Yeah,” You shrugged.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything, baby?” Rafael took your hand as the hill got steeper.

“Because I thought they were right, Rafael!” You said in a ‘duh’ tone. “Why would I tell you that an entire town thought that I was a murderer? That’s not really a selling point on a partner,”

“...You thought they were right?”

“...Well, yeah,” You nodded softly with a small smile.

“And now…?”

Before you could answer, you reached the entrance of the cemetery. Luckily it wasn’t that big; you were ashamed to admit you didn’t even know where they were buried. But you found them in a small corner under a shade tree. You walked up to their mutual headstone:

“Y/M/N AND Y/D/N: Beloved Husband And Wife, Mayor and First Lady.”

“...Mayor?” Rafael looked at you in surprise.

“Yeah, well--” You shrugged. “You see why they were so beloved, and I was the hellish daughter that killed them?”

“Y/N…” Rafael put a hand on your shoulder.

“I was supposed to want to ‘take over the city’, like I would ever want to be in charge of anything in this stupid backwards hick ass town,” You scoffed angrily, tears stinging your eyes.

“...But didn’t you say that your parents wanted you to go to Juliard? Pursue your dreams?” Rafael asked in confusion.

“They did! My grandparents-- they had a different view,” You shook your head. “The...the hierarchy here it’s-- well it’s not really a democracy,”

“...How so…?” Rafael raised an eyebrow.

“Because everyone just loved and accepted my family as, I don’t know, the ‘royal’ family?” You felt so stupid comparing your family to the Royal Family, but you didn’t know how else to explain it.

“The Mayor and First Lady titles were just...passed down, in my family. And not because they were dictators or something,” You quickly added the last part, you didn’t want Rafael to think any less of your family than he probably already did.

“People here are just...simple,” You sighed. “They accept things the way they are, they hate change. So it was just assumed that my family would always be... "the family’,”

“But you didn’t want that,” Rafael said again.

“Of course I didn’t want that!” You scoffed. “I didn’t want to just get a high school degree and then marry some ‘Cletus’ redneck man from here and have ‘heirs’ just to keep the family going!”

“But your parents understood that,” Rafael reiterated.

“It didn’t matter what my parents did or didn’t understand. My grandfather had more clout with the townspeople here,” You rolled your eyes. “My dad was the ‘mayor’, but his dad controlled everything. His father had been the mayor for over thirty years before he passed it onto my dad, who didn’t really want it either” You walked up to the headstone and ran your fingers over your father’s name.

“....So when he tried to ‘save’ me from that life, my grandpa wouldn’t hear it. He blamed me for...for manipulating them into giving me anything I wanted, like I was a spoiled little child. He blamed me for them giving me their life savings to go to Julliard instead of putting it back into the town treasury. Then he blamed me when they got killed, and he just reinstated himself as mayor! Which, I haven’t checked but I’ll be damned if he isn’t still rattling around his old ass bones in our house! He’ll just haunt this place forever!” You threw your hands up and looked down angrily at the town down below.

“Carino…” Rafael came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist from behind. You took his hands in yours and kissed them before turning to face him. You looked into his sparkling green understanding eyes for a moment, before directing your attention back at the headstone.

“....This is Rafael Barba, mama and daddy,” You pulled him gently forward. “We’re getting married soon,”

“...Nice to meet you folks,” Rafael said awkwardly.

“...Raffi they’re dead,” You smiled jokingly.

“Right, right,” He shook his head with a small laugh.

“...He’s a very good man, daddy. I know you always wanted that. And he’s very handsome, so you’ll have beautiful grandchildren mama, just like you wanted,” You smiled while Rafael softly chuckled.

“...I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come,” You finally said with tears rolling down your cheeks. “I should have been here sooner,”

“But you’re here now,” Rafael softly rubbed your back.

“Yeah…” You nodded softly. This was the hard part.

“...I’m---I’m sorry, that I made you feel like horrible parents that night,” You tried not to cry, but the memories of that night flooded your memory the more you spoke.

“I’m sorry that you thought you needed to come see me, that you weren’t good parents if you didn’t,” Your lip trembled, you fell to your knees.

“...I’m sorry the last words you heard from me were ‘I hate you’,” You finally broke down sobbing.

“Y/N…” Rafael knelt down next to you and held you in his arms as you cried.

“Do you get now why...why I don’t think I deserve you? Why don't I think I deserve anything? Why I think I have to take everything? Fake everything? Because I am such a terrible person my own parents died thinking I hated them because I was that horrible to them!”

“They didn’t think you hated them, carino,” Rafael rocked you back and forth. “They knew you loved them, I know they did,”

“You know you’re probably right, Rafael. But it--I needed them to hear it,” You nodded at the gravestone.

“And?”

“...And I feel a lot better,” You smiled as Rafael wiped tears from your face.

“Really?”

“Yeah…Really,” You chuckled. “I guess that therapist really knows what she’s doing,”

“She should for the amount of money I pay her,” Rafael shook his head with a laugh as he helped you stand up.

“...Thank you for doing this with me, amor,” You sniffled, pressing your forehead against his.

“Of course, penguino,” He kissed you softly. “And, for what it’s worth--” He added as you two walked back down the hill towards town.

“I think that if your parents were alive, they would be proud of you,”

“Oh, I know my mother would take one look at you and be DAMN proud,” You both laughed at that.

“And I also think they would be appalled to see how their townspeople treat their daughter,” He glared at the town.

“Yeah well,” You shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Not anymore,”

“I’m glad to hear it,” He took your hands as the sun started to go down in your sleepy little town. “Now can we please get back to the city before I catch something out here?”

“Yes,” You giggled, staring at him lovingly.

“Let’s go home,”

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