#got zero
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Yay! I got zero!
How well do you see color?
I’m cry I scored 60, I feel blind
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the main problem with this time of year is the irresistible urge to get fully into bed at like 5:34 pm and outside is like yesss, yesss do it, it's what you deserve yesss. like is it depression or is it just november
#it's november obvs#december is not like this!!#today after work i shut the macbook i got into bed and i played that fruit tetris game#while listening to something called 'lofi roman empire'#for 1.5 hours#zero wrinkles in the brain after that completely smooth#and then somehow i cooked dinner
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you nudge soap one night, and he turns to you with sleepy eyes.
“s’wrong, bonnie?”
you tell him it’s nothing. you just wanted to see if he wanted a midnight snack. the man is perking up before you can explain what you meant, smiling brightly and ripping the blanket off the both of you. ignoring your sputters, soap is in between your legs in record time, only having enough patience to pull the cotton to the side before dipping his tongue straight against your clit.
“fu-johnny, i meant food. actual food…” you trail off with a gasp, hurrying to grab at his hair, the suckle of his lips force a shiver through your legs.
“fuck yer food,” he smacks, spitting on your hole, and diving back in. “got the perfect meal right here…”
(gaz's version here!)
#cod smut#soap mactavish smut#john soap mctavish smut#soap mactavish x you#johnny soap mactavish#john soap mactavish x reader#brain won’t shut offfff#i’ve got so many of these little ideas in my drafts#but zero energy to flesh them out :(
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The exact opposite of being doomed by the narrative
I discovered this game while playing with a group of friends on Halloween, and I must say it was quiet immersive because we each wanted different things so we always had to argue together on what to do before the Voices would Took 3 days to complete a single run
#slay the princess#stp fanart#stp spoilers#stp princess#the long quiet#my art#artists on tumblr#i wanted to be friends with her so baaaddd but nooooo my friends wanted her dead aaaaarggh#and then when I got to choose how we should go about it we ended with the Prisoner#and we got chained up against the wall for the rest of eternity#and then noone trusted my judgement ever again after that#but I have zero regret i'm not stupid ofc we were going to get chained up#that's EXACTLY WHY i insisted on picking up the chains#the princess is chained and now we're chained#Relating to people : the art of bonding and making friends
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Obsessed with their friendship 🫶
#zenless zone zero#astra yao#evelyn chevalier#astralyn#suggestive#ish#everytime we get new official content of them the gayer they get like wtf#hoyo literally took all my favorite romance tropes and lovingly cooked them into whatever the fuck these two got going on#assassin x their target and bodyguard x idol#literal roommates trope#making breakfast for my beautiful wife x who tf is burning down my kitchen#the entire domestication of evelyn after meeting astra#LITERALLY to be loved is to be changed my god
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hello i am sick and it's been too long since dadstarion
also bonus pages for my lovely patronis
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#tavstarion#dadstarion#halsin silverbough#i can see kit just being a velcro child who has to be attached to one of his dads at all times#there's a non zero chance that's an actual wood elf lullaby#rip dorian's oldest sister who had to keep it to herself while he got his shit together#also idk if this is universal but i'm very open with my parents and i was still Mortified telling my mum i needed the morning after pill#whoever opened my eyes to the midwife halsin headcanon i owe you my life
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pnf revival challenge day 14: Backstory!
Hosted by @howtonerdoutovereverything! ✨
if I had a nickel for every time I projected my day’s issue on a prompt and all that haaaaaaaaa guess how my hike went today
#I had zero ideas for today and the disappointment of not getting to hike to the top of the mountain got me#this is exaggerated tho it only took me 20 minutes maybe to decide the road was too slippery to safely hike up on my own#but like yknow I’m still SADDDDDDD#kad draws#phineas and ferb#pnf#pnfrevivalchallenge#heinz doofenshmirtz#perry the platypus#long post#IM ONCE AGAIN LATE TO GO TO BED AND HAVE RO WAKE UP EARL Y TO DRIVE BACK TOMORROW FJJDHVHJD
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Leshy is just naturally a menace to society at large✨
#cult of the lamb#cotl#cult of the lamb art#cotl fanart#cotl leshy#cult of the lamb leshy#dude has zero chill#thats the first thing he did when he got freed of purgatory#cotl lamb#comic#my art <3
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Batfamily get tired of Bruce and Jason's insanity and as true hypocrites buy them monthly sessions to the therapist that they cannot ignore, like, at all. That ensues some troubles.
Jason: *sprawled on the couch in the Batcave* Bruce: *brooding around* Jason: What's up with you? Bruce: I am dreading over the upcoming therapy session. Jason: Oh, lmao, they forced you, too? Bruce, irritated: That's a ridiculous waste of time. I don't even need it. Jason: Yeah, same. Wanna tip, though? Gaslight the shit out of your therapist. Bruce: ...What? Jason: Lie to them. Forge fake stories. If they are a good therapist, they will catch you. But you know what? Mine believes me. Can't wait to find out just how far it can go. Bruce: That's wrong on so many levels. Bruce: ...I'll try.
Of all things that could mend Bruce and Jason's relationship, this makes a trick. They start discussing their therapy sessions all the time. But not because they receive some kind of useful feedback, but because they keep giggling about gaslighting their therapists.
Bruce unleashes his full Brucie Wayne potential on that poor therapist. Like, yeah, he will discuss his traumas... No, no, not his parents' death! He, of course, meant that one incident with Oliver Queen, when they were seventeen and drunk, and-
Bruce: I think I genuinely didn't have so much fun since forever. Therapists truly can help. Jason: I have an amazing idea how to make it even more hilarious. This one is a little insensitive, but hey. Whatever makes it funnier. Bruce, squinting: ...Jason. Jason: Are you in or not? Bruce: ...
*a few hours later, in the living room of the Manor, with all family members gathered*
Bruce: Jason and I asked you to come since we have news for you. As you know, we had been visiting therapists for a while, and it was an immense help to our mental health. As it was expected, in the middle of the sessions we came to the topic of our relationship. Jason: Yeah, uh. We kinda decided to get a separate therapist for this. Like, family one. For us to go together. And fix things. Bruce: Yeah. We just wanted to update you on this. All support would be appreciated. Dick, wiping his tears away: Guys. Guys, I am so proud of you. Jason and Bruce: *high-fiving each other behind their backs*
Do they actually go to the family therapist? Yeah! Do they still continue creating fake ass stories to test their doctor? Yeah! Do they actually by the accident start oversharing their own emotions during acting by an established scenario and actually get a whole mental breakdown in front of terrified therapist? Yeah...
Therapist: So, uh... *checking scribbled notes of a messy drama that Bruce and Jason rehearsed a night before* ...H-how about we think about where it brings us now? Mister Wayne, do you feel guilt about what happened? Bruce, answering automatically, out of prepared lines: Of course, I feel guilt. I always do. Therapist: Okay, why won't you try to apologise before your son? Bruce, stammering: I-I don't know, I am a prideful person Jason, also abandoning their script: Oh, wow, and I am not?! Therapist: O-okay. Uh, mister- Jason: Like, not saying, but it would be nice to see you discarding some of your pride, when all I do is to stomp on my own to please you! Therapist: Okay, okay, how about... Jesus Chirst, mister Wayne, mister Todd-Wayne, are you crying? Jason and Bruce, sniffling: NO!
#Jason *red-eyed and out of the therapist room*: well woah ahaha that was a nice improvisation ahahha def not genuine right#Bruce *blowing his nose in the napkin*: yeah lad we did great#Therapist *back in the cabinet & texting to her friend*: lmao you won't imagine what just happened--#the rest of the family fr believe that the therapy is working bc Bruce and Jason hang out so much now (they were being gremlins)#but hey! whatever worked to mend this shit-#*years later after Damian got himself in therapy*: i am starting to think Father and Todd had never been in therapy at all#Bruce and Jason *zero healed from their personal traumas but at least in good relationship now*: uhhhhh#jason todd#red hood#batman#dcu#dcu comics#dc universe#batfamily#bruce wayne#batfam#dick grayson
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I want to post this here too because I’ve seen it happen a few times

Please understand that there are cultural differences and language differences, if you see this happening let the person clarify what they meant, that person might just not be familiar with words the western side of the internet use
#bearz rambling tag#no it’s not really possible to let everyone who uses this term to change#because as far as I know this is the most common word with use on Chinese websites#I didn’t know that pairing are called ‘ship’ here#like why would I even know that#‘ship’ makes zero sense to me#it took me a while to learn the fandom language people speak here#it’s hard#give people time#shipping culture is very different too#Like on Chinese site you HAVE to clarify the Top and the Bottom of this ship in the ship name#it is very very important to them#people who like the same ship but with different Top Bottom preference will fight till no end#imagine how confused I was when I first got here#where there’s no top bottom differences#it’s not really a smut thing#it’s more a dynamic thing#AxB and BxA is very different#oh I can talk so much about the differences on fandom cultures#if ya are interested in more please feel free to ask#it’s very interesting to me#I wanna talk about it
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Danny has been reincarnated.
Which was an odd thing to realize, it wasn't even a slow one he just... snapped into it one day. One moment he was staring at a wall out of boredom the next, well, he was staring for an entirely different reason.
It was a task for his now young -he thinks around three years old?- mind to work its way through the memories, but it wasn't like he had much else to do honestly. So, what does he know?
His name is Danny, like, his actual name and not just a moniker. He was once a halfa and he already knows he's going to be missing invisibility and intangibility. He, well, died. For like, a second time which actually makes sense because reincarnation-
Anyways.
He was a clone of two people from this thing called the Justice League which, weird name but probably some government or activist group. Wonder Woman and Superman. Which were pretty weird names to name your kids but eh.
He doesn't really remember much besides that from this life, or the one from before but he's an adult! He'll figure things out once he gets out of this containment tube thing.
Did he mention he was in a test tube? He's a tube baby now. He thinks? Or maybe it's more like he's being contained.
Whatever.
So he breaks out. Thank you apparent superstrength that he has no idea why he has but he's not going to complain! He then wandered around all of the other test tubes, able to remember just enough of English to see that yea, they're dead.
He probably was too, before he had memories zapped into him. Or a vegetable.
He then finds this really big container, checks it out, then opens it because the clone inside isn't dead!
'Project Match' it said. He'll just call him Match.
Was he thanked for helping him? Nope. You would think that he would be thanked or at least somewhat respected for saving this guy but nope!
He was, quite literally, held up by his leg and dangled in the air. Who dangles a three-year-old?! Well, he was technically and adult but still! The next few things were a blur but after pulling off the old Fenton charm he found him and Match outside as he tried to stop him from attacking random people.
Luckily the charms and privilege of the youngest (he's assuming he's the youngest, because he's physically three) was more than enough to get through to him. Sure, the guy couldn't form words, really aggressive for literally no reason, really weird but also absolutely cool looking eyes. But he worked around the first issue by developing their own personal language from like grunts and stuff, the second he once again used his youngest privilege to boss him around and the third a pair of sunglasses easily fixed.
He just had to steer Match clear of those random S crest mark thingies. Which was a weird thing to hate but hey, he's not there to judge.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp crossover#Danny is a clone of Wonder Woman and Superman#He wasn't perfect so he got put up#Through the use of bullshit youngest privileges Danny can boss around and somewhat pacify Match#You know how the Batfam made their own language in those Cryptid/Creepy/Isolated Batfam fics?#Yea that but between Danny and Match#This is obviously before Superboy freed Match but this is also after Superboy was freed#Danny has zero clue who Wonder Woman or Superman is or the Justice League#Lex Luthor is a bit perplexed over two clones missing when he finds out but doesn't care too much since they were both failed clones#And no problem arouse regarding the two of them#He's more so worried about who got passed his security#Nobody besides Lex (because as mentioned above) knows about them#Yet
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WHAT A FUCKING SUBSCRIBER'S SPECIAL, HUH.
#algebralien#xfohv#x finds out his value#honestly they fed the shippers so much what the hell#the last time we got an explicitly romantic crush was in bfdi episode 1#this is incredible#osc art#bfdi#battle for dream island#artists on tumblr#my art#digital art#fanart#maple's art#doodles#i love zero they're so pathetic
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They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.
#ra speaks#personal#JOKING.#this is a joke this is a parody of right wing rants regarding social phenomenon they believe to be oppressed by left leaning politics.#but within the perspective of an old fictional hitman.#this is a joke tangentially referencing my fictional hitmen from a fictional story in which no harm comes to career politicians#obviously but also if this gets me on a list o7#fbi agent in my phone I’m a disabled autistic dyke with zero engineering or chemistry background#my skills are best applied to…idk sabatoging national forest harvest regimes? but I’m not doing that they’re neglected enough as is.#edit: oops this is getting notes o/ hiiiii cia agent reading this post <3 a union leader my dad worked w got fucking assassinated#by Pinkertons and y’all didn’t do shit. I hope you have visions of hell and become a nomadic hermit self flagellating in the woods#edit 2: ooooooh there was a pres debate last night. that’s why people care about my two week old joke hitman post. was wondering why.
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Stellar Kick! ⭐ (zero-g) (oc)
patreon . bsky
#my art#Zero-G Wrestling#stellar#oc#the other girl was just meant to be a jobber but i kinda like her lol#she's got main cast hair#wrestling#wrestling oc
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It's always you
#zenless zone zero#astra yao#evelyn chevalier#astralyn#Astra is canonically seen in like 634543763 outfits but her ball gown/wedding dress esque fit is my favorite#im SO upset it was only exclusive for one (1) singular cutscene#anyways this took MUCH more time than it should've#“yeah I got this idea in my brain it'll take like maybe 3 days at max to draw it” /spends 4 weeks on it from pure procrastination
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#chelley and olandria are my girlssss i am rooting for them#love island#love island usa#chelley bissainthe#*#so far all the men in the villa got dark energy they be creeping me out#i also don't like miss zero personality blaccent she can go respectfully she doesn't even seem like she's on the right show lol
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