#guess this is the mark that starts a new era for me also

[delizbin]

I think I am finally ✨clean✨

[bucknastysbabe]

hi cal! i love your page sm. i wanted to request more chubby bucky (i’m so obsessed & haven’t seen him in a min) also make sure to take care of yourself and have a good day/night 🩷

HI!!!! Sorry I’ve been such a spazz and awful about my page and askbox I’m in my new era blah blah but YES! CHUBBY BUCKY! Thanks for the well wishes I’m trying to practice ~self care~ and ~time management~ mwah mwah much love. So let’s say this just in the same universe as Poolside Blues!

Rating: Explicit

Tags: TW: body dysmorphia, obsessive thoughts, negative body talk, Muscle chub Buck, Bucky’s shit self esteem is saved by sunshine gf, holiday weight gain, Bucky being a stubborn mf, switch!Bucky, reader has empathic projection, horny texts, body worship, WE LOVE SOFT PARTS AND STRETCH MARKS ROUND HERE, teasing, sub space, daddy kink, pnv!sex, cuddles and fluff, Bucky is just a big cuddly tiger kitty

“Bucky if you stare at the scale any longer I’m going to break it. Holidays are over, you can get back to being in the gym twenty-five eight.”

Bucky eyed his petite girlfriend, frowning from the doorway to the bathroom. He palmed his stupid fucking gut and sighed, he actually had to suck in to see the number! This is why Bucky hated the holidays. Besides being cold. James Buchanan Barnes very much disliked the cold, one could assume why.

He could handle the residual un-moveable pudge leftover from Hydra’s ever consistent tinkering with his bodily functions. But then it all started with Halloween. Wanda and his girlfriend loved to bake. So he’s getting force fed cookies. Then they need to decorate, go to functions, give out candy. No time for gym.

Bucky grumbled and stepped off the scale, padding to his closet. He grumbled more, “Stupid turkey holiday.” Great yes, the holiday known for feasting. Pumpkin spiced everything in his vision. Bucky had a weakness for pumpkin, his ma made good spiced bread. He took a short vacation with his lovely little angel to the mountains. He tried to rationalize that hiking and marathon sex would make up for the amount of food he had ingested.

Tony Stark of course had a grandiose Thanksgiving celebration. Bucky tried to keep it light, he did, he really did. But every refusal got sad eyes or downright offense. The former winter soldier was belly up by the end of the night, all gym plans out the window.

Christmas fared no better. His best gal absolutely adored Christmas. It was the first holiday she’d experience not as an asset to Hydra, just like Bucky. So instead of RUNNING or LIFTING, the Brunette was shopping and ice skating. He’d already gone up a size in clothes December 3rd to be exact. Bucky correctly guessed he would go up another post-Christmas.

He’d whinge and rant to Steve, the blondie listening and telling Bucky to chill— it’s not like anyone thought it was bad. Bucky exasperatedly shouted, “I’m like a goddamn balloon! I don’t need to be on missions like this! I’m going to Bruce, jerk.”

“Punk.”

Bruce didn’t help either. Just said once he got back into a routine it would come off and he’d be at his regular weight. Refused to give Bucky Ozempic either. Some kinda doctor he was, his patient was obviously distraught.

“Are you dressed yet?,” she hollered.

“Give me a second!,” Bucky pouted.

He was going to pout today. Go to gym, get anger out, and pout. So he shimmied on some catastrophically tight basketball shorts and the biggest shirt he could find. Luckily it covered him up. May or may not have been a panic buy. Bucky cursed some more sitting on his bench to lace up his shoes, stupid gut getting in the way.

Red faced and irritated he snarked, “Happy now princess? I’m going to the gym, nothing is stopping me, I will be going to work out.” She grinned and watched him grab his bag, slapping a round ass cheek on his way out. Bucky shuddered at the wobble. Her familiar rasp rang out, “Nice ass baby! Go get em!”

He was too old for this. Technically his girl was ten years his junior if you took off the cryogenic time. He loved her dearly, always bubbly, somehow remained optimistic after all she’d been through. But the little freak liked Bucky’s pudge, loved it. Always grabbing up on it.

Bucky took the stairs to the gym. He needed it. The brunette thought with a smirk that if he had a nickel for every time he had to remove her hands from his ‘handles of love’ he would’ve been a millionaire back during the Depression. He grimaced at the feeling of his chubby tummy and thick thighs.

Finally. He’d made it. Gym time.

Not a soul in sight, Bucky could just relax and get his frustrations out. With a fuck-ton of a cardio and some toning exercises— really didn’t need any muscle to bulk him out more. He felt a bit peaceful for once, a strange bravado coming over him. The soldier stretched his unused muscles and did a bit of breathing exercises.

God, he already felt lighter. Maybe. Maybe he would take a picture and see if the camera made him look different. Bucky’s therapist already hammered him about his ‘body dysmorphia and negative self-image’.

Taking a peak about and tying his hair half up, Bucky propped the camera at a flattering angle and yanked off his shirt. He refused to look in a mirror for the holidays unless he was clothed. Fiddling with the inane controls, the man finally had the thing on a timer. He pulled off his shirt and tried to pose, straighten up his back again.

The flash went off and he ran to the phone, hit send, then sat down on a nearby bench to look fully. The brunette had to keep his ‘body positive!’ thoughts at the forefront. His chest and legs looked good. Face didn’t look too puffy thanks beard.

Disgust picked the earlier bravado up and hulk smashed it. Buck’s eyes were glued to his rounded belly and fat hips, a muffin over those horrid shorts. There, oh my god, there were stretchmarks on him? Bucky never had stretchmarks! Not the red kind! But there they were— mocking him. Ragged lines on his hips and sections of stomach.

He deleted the picture, feeling horrid. He should run more. But not before the pings blowing up his phone. She was strange and texted in 5 different messages that could’ve been sent in one singular text.

“Babbbbyyyy omg you’re so hot”

“Fuck, I’m getting all flustered in this debrief.”

“Look at that pretty body. Wanna lick those pretty stripes, tiger.”

“I’m so horny lmfao get your ass back to the room in 30. I’m gonna fucking ride you so goddamn hard.”

Bucky blinked a bit, feeling himself perk up. He still was a overblown balloon, but at-least the weirdo he loved enjoyed it. “Tiger huh,” he murmured, scratching at the sensitive marks. Bucky had a time limit now, snatching his gear up and stuffing it into a bag, hustling down the stairs to his room.

“Hey Buck,” Sam’s voice was a blur as Bucky entered his room. He smirked a bit hearing a muffled, “Weird ass.” The super soldier kept his mind on the prize— getting the daylights fucked out of him by his girls. Nope he wasn’t going to pay attention to the chafe on the inside of his thighs one bit. Okay...maybe he’d powder the area after the shower.

All he had to do was wait now. Wait. Not get nerved about his very naked body. He felt like a pile of exposed lard but it’ll be okay. Yep. Bucky would be fine. Pussy would fix his problems. As long as she played nice and didn’t tease. That rendered Bucky into a teary, babbling mess. Either he was always a masochist or Hydra made him into one but God— sometimes when she got mean he saw stars.

The door busted open, Bucky feeling relief at her grinning face. She gently closed it behind her, stripping easily while throwing her panties at him. He caught the material, moaning softly as she growled, “See what you did to me in the middle of that debrief? Had to cut it short my pheromones were so bad.”

Bucky inspected the panties, eyes fluttering at the slick wetting the cloth. He gripped and inhaled, hand flying down to soothe his cock. A lithe body crawled to the end of the bed, the soldier flushing as she seated herself in between his thighs. Keeping him in fucking missionary, her manicured nails spreading him a bit. He gasped, body jolting at the exposure.

Her perky tits heaved as she groped at his thighs and slid down to get handfuls of his round ass. Bucky threw his head back and moaned, “W-What are you up to?” Earlier mentioned pheromones were making his body keyed up and sensitive, pupils likely swallowing up blue eyes. She leaned forward, taught body against his cock.

“Mmm- I don’t know really. You just looked so delicious,” she kissed his belly and cooed, “I know you’re upset with yourself right now, Buck, you’re fucking gorgeous. Holiday weight or not. But I’ll even go to the gym with you, know I’ve been a distraction.”

Bucky slurred a name, hands reaching for her waist, she was so sweet. He sighed, “I enjoyed you as my distraction, best disss-traction everrr. Fuck you’re makin’ me horny babydoll.” She crawled up his bigger body to plant a kiss on Bucky’s swollen lips before sliding back to her place. His cock leaked when she giggled, “I know, poor baby’s all achy for me. But I wanna do something first.”

She slid palms up and down Bucky’s muscled arms, soothing him a little. Then the she-devil gripped his chunky love-handles and shook, watching with poorly-disguised glee. Bucky whined, “Baaaby, stoppp, it’s awful!”

“Think of them as tiger stripes, they’ll fade out when you drop weight,” she dug under where his belly hung a bit and traced at his most sensitive stretch marks. Bucky let out an indecent noise, thrusting up into her sweet touch. The fellow avenger cooed, “S’that feel good tiger? Need some lotion. Pretty boy.”

Bucky outright whimpered when her hand wrapped around his weepy cock, already slick from copious pre. She slowly moved her hand, praising him. Pretty boy, smart, handsome, good, kind, helpful.

He was going to bust a nut before anything happened. Bucky barked, “B-babe, stop! Stop!” Her pretty brows knitted together, hand jerking away as she asked, “What’s wrong bub?” He panted, “Gimme a second, w-wanna fuck you so baaaad.” She gently stroked the outside of thick muscled thighs, padded with love in her opinion.

“Thought I was going to ride you?,” she asked, face beginning to flush.

Bucky shook his head, managing to push himself up to get face-to-face. His soft body filled the tight space between them, making her whimper now. Bucky used one hand to caress the side of her face, the other massaging her pretty tit. Long lashes fluttered, her lips falling open.

Score. He managed to somewhat fumble through the pheromone fog.

Bucky rumbled, “Nuh-uh, all this talk about my body and you don’t want me to pin you down and fill your pretty pussy up? Hm sweetheart?” He punctuated the sentence with a deep kiss, the sweet thing easily giving up to him. It was fun when she played mean but Bucky had more experience— he could play his girl like a fucking fiddle.

“C’mon,” smack, “use your,” smack, “words baby,” smack smack. She didn’t want to stop kissing, sucking on his bottom lip as he pulled away. She blushed, embarrassed on how fast the situation had flipped. His girl whined, “Yeah, c’mon fuck me, fuck me full daddy.” He grinned and laid back, strong arms pulling her atop him.

She squealed, eyes widening. Bucky purred, “You know what to do, Daddy’ll let you on top.” He bit his swollen lip again watching the tip of his clock get swallowed by molten heat, the pair of them shuddering in ecstasy. Her little hands planted on his chest, panting and whining at the fullness. He’d get to work, holding that pretty waist and fucking up into her tight cunt.

It wasn’t long before she was crying out and laying atop his body, gasping, “Y’feel so good! Ah! Soft and oh god s’fucking hard!” Bucky sucked at her neck and thrust into her with downright pornographic slaps. He grunted and gasped, legs wonderfully getting another workout.

He murmured into her ear, a hand stilling all that writhing the poor thing was doing, “Yeah doll? Daddy fucking you good? Feels good to lay on Daddy and get your pussy pounded huh?” She sobbed, clenching and spilling tears on his neck, “Yes daddy! Yes! Don’t stop, fuckfuckfuck, s’rubbing my clit! I love you Daddy!”

Bucky’s eyes crossed for a second. What?

The evil flab that curses his very existence is a free clit rubber? He moaned in delight. Bucky changed their position some to milk out that new fact. Might as well abuse it before it’s gone. His baby was clinging to him now, mewling his name, pussy spasming sporadically. Bucky tilted her head up, melting at her pretty eyes. He rasped, “Come for Daddy baby, know you’re close, let go babydoll.”

He was grinding the tip of his cock into her soft spot while cooing at her. She hiccuped on a sob, the entirety of lean frame tightening down on him. His baby was a lot stronger than she looked. He could feel her core clamp and soak his cock, sending Bucky reeling into his own orgasm with a hoarse shout. He whimpered at the feeling of his balls drawing painfully tight, emptying all he had pent up.

They laid in a pile of sweat and spend, probably love. She was still subbed out, nuzzling into Bucky, only making a soft noise when his soft cock slid out. The brunette guessed it was his turn to return her earlier favor. He felt like the man of the hour. Crazy little kitten thought her geriatric overweight cyborg assassin was hot. Even with the holiday pounds.

So he pressed little kisses, rubbed her back, waxed poetic nonsense of his love for her. Bucky was a lover boy back in the day, just a little rusty, not like his Babygirl was on planet Earth right now anyways. She murmured into his neck with a dopey smile, “Tiger.”

Once again, crazy fellow asset saving Bucky’s wavering self-esteem. How lucky was he?

[wisteriagoesvroom]

when you watch lando's old footage back with his different teammates you can see his chemistry is so different with each and every one of him. you can see the observant and maybe nervous first year f1 racer that he was around carlos. the fire-meets-fire vibe that they brought, all the overflowing energy of being early 20somethings.

then you get the daniel era where it's honey and butter. both of them warm and charming and lando still learning from the other. but also lando also coming into his own as a racer and realising that he's not an imposter - he's on the level, if not better at that point, than the person who raced for red bull and has 8 GPs under his belt. even if that same racer seems a shadow of his former self at mclaren.

then you get the 2022 merry go round, and oscar. might as well be night and day when they first meet.

oscar, who keeps to himself, puts his head down and works. oscar, watchful and careful after the silly business with alpine. who probably knows he's coming into a buzzy environment with big personalities and huge expectations too - because who is this kid who had the audacity to basically flip off alpine? and via social media of all things (how very modern for an old-fashioned sport). how is this kid gonna make his mark on such a storied team, where the last win is almost now as old as him? what is he going to do with all that potential, right?

we love the machine, because we love watching the potential of a bright young thing fighting their way out of its jaws. lando was in there too, not so long ago, and the poison from that bite might still seep.

nobody knows what to expect. but lando gets to be the elder in the duo for the first time. lando's also going through a process in 2022-23 where he also seems to be entering a new phase of his life and realising some stuff about himself as a person too and what his priorities are. we'll never truly know what that process is (nor should we), but i think on this side of 2024 you can already see how he's handling himself out of it.

and we saw it maybe, in a bit of a smirk at oscar's first day for the car launch and oscar being late. a bit of wonder at oscar, who when suited up seems physically larger than what he remembers.

but then! oscar puts in the work. good chatter surrounds newbie and his working style, and oscar demonstrates maturity. he shows what a contender he is. that he's got his own approach, and he's ready, and – once the car comes – he starts backing that up with good results.

lando is competitive as hell on his own terms. but seeing a twenty one year old from the Reserve bench come in under er, fraught circumstances, then smashing out result after result from Suzuka onwards - surely that puts some fire under your ass in a big way. and! lando is someone who, i think despite his bad luck and lack of a win yet, is incredibly driven and has it in him to be a proper WDC contender. he has that quality. if his teammate is pushing him he's just going to push himself harder.

which culminates, interestingly, in soundbites we're getting recently. like the peter crouch interview, where lando says he's stopped DJ-ing because he's prioritising racing. not an easy decision to make i'm sure, and maybe one that would've happened without oscar's presence at mclaren anyway– but just one signal of where his headspace is probably at now and into '24. lando is also much more reserved about the soundbites he's giving lately (like "i'm not making any race or win predictions anymore and i'm taking things as they are because predictions haven't come true for me in the past, there's too much expectation on myself" etc etc.).

you might even describe it as... maturity.

and guess who has been described as incredibly composed and mature by the mclaren team?

exactly.

[thattimdrakeguy]

I HAVE BEEN READING ZDARSKY BATMAN, AND I HAVE DECLARED: I FREAKING LOVE IT!!

I'm reading the Batman Zdarsky run in reverse. That way if I see any bull I can back out at anytime: and to be honest--besides a few things. I really enjoy it

LIKE YO, THAT IS JUST STRAIGHT UP TIM DRAKE RIGHT THERE. It knows who he is as a character. his motives, it's great.

Screw the people complaining "oh why is tim still robin :((", THIS IS WHY HE IS STILL ROBIN. Because this is when he's at his BEST. When he gets to hit his character purpose, WHEN HE GETS TO BE HIM AT HIS MOST HIM. It's FANTASTIC.

Reading in reverse because I know I hated the first story, it was so contrived and ridiculous.

But this--this is some good shit.

Tim being an underdog fighter, having to use his wits to win the fight? MY DAWG, MY DUDE, MY GUYS, MY GALS, MY THEMS, MY THEYS, THIS IS SO TIMMY DRAKE. This is so damn Tim Drake, guys. Oh, my gosh, I am loving this so far.

Dick has his temper back? And trust me, he isn't normally like this. But he's hitting a limit AND IT'S SOMETHING NEW, NOT JUST A REFERENCE. HE'S ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING HE'D DO, 'CAUSE HE'S AT HIS LIMIT. That's wonderful, man. That is so wonderful.

Plus Tim is the heart of the Bat-Family again? This feels like someone actually went back to read these characters before writing it. I'm not saying everything is perfect of course, but these high marks are exceeding all my expectations. And I STOPPED reading comics because of how the beginning of this run destroyed any hope I had.

You guys have no idea how much I'm enjoying the few issues I've read. Besides the cussing (I remember after a bit they decided Tim was someone who used funny words instead of proper cusses), this feels like the Tim I know and love during the era I especially loved him.

Tim comparing himself to his predecessors? Tim not being a natural? A WRITER REMEMBERING THAT?? It's been so long since I've seen that! Most writers treat him like he was another prodigy when he wasn't. AND THIS GUY REMEMBERED THAT!

I shouldn't be so happy at just seeing Tim do Tim things, and serving his character purpose. BUT YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE A WRITER KNEW WHAT TIM WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE.

Only complaints I have is that Jason feels like a typical Bat-Family member, and not the sketchy outsider that he is. Making him so close makes his character more bland in my opinion. And Steph is--also generic af unless she's wacky quirky...which is a characterization I hate for her, because she started off so damn interesting, but they made her a freaking trope instead, which is such a disservice to her, but she barely does anything so far, so whatever I guess. Doesn't mean much.

--

This is the first honest thing I've seen that I hated.

No

Not this

This isn't the Bat-Family

This is a sitcom world the fandom wants to be the Bat-Family and some comply with

They're not a sitcom. The conflicts, and uniqueness of the characters is what makes things feel alive and well.

This stuff is cheap fanservice for the fanon demographic that doesn't buy comics to begin with.

Fanon doesn't belong in canon.

--

I mean sure Tim could be drawn smaller, the gag of him looking 12 when he's nearly 18 doesn't work when he's bigger than Damian who is 15 (and contrary to some bullshit comics isn't meant to be small. that was a random thing added for writers who aren't clever to write better humor. it actually contradicts things that were already established).

Don't see the big deal though for most of this.

Can't wait to find it, though. Oh boy.

This whole obsession with Zur Batman, is way over done though. So--I wouldn't be shocked if that was the problem, because my golly does that plot point not seem to be stopping--and it was there from the start and part of the reason why I didn't read it 'til now.

Good Tim tho, at least. So heehee, yey for that--I think--I guess.

Oh, well.

It let me peak at a pseudo-version of an AU I made up years ago. So that's pretty freaking cool.

Always a plus.

And redoing Red Robin story beats but better? Normally I'd hate references to Red Robin, 'cause that changed the perception of so many characters for the worst, but ayy, a bit of redemption isn't bad.

Man, just seeing simple stuff like Tim and Bruce being good ol' classic Batman and Robin warms my heart. It's been so long since Batman and Robin has acted like a proper classic Batman and Robin. It's dynamic that's been sorely missed by many.

OH, MY GOSH, WHY DID THE FIRST STORY HAVE TO STINK SO BAD. THIS STUFF IS GREAT.

Like, DUDE, this is such a Tim thing for him to do!!

And he's showing emotion?? He's crying like how he does?? Because he's not a typical Bat-Family member who just angsts his way through?? THEY'RE MAKING HIM STAND-OUT AGAIN BY MAKING HIM, HIM??

WHY DID THE FIRST STORY HAVE TO SUCK SO BAD?? THIS IS GOOD SHIT.

Like this part is why I originally stopped reading, not because Bruce should think Tim is his soldier, and not his son, THE FREAKING OPPOSITE.

But because the original story has Bruce acting weird when unneeded, just to say this was so unneeded, and adding in all these stupid corny Bat-Family moments was so groan worthy.

This run started off with a story that was a total turn off for me.

To end up being a run that could've kept me enjoying DC, rather than running away from it from as far as I have.

Chip Zdarsky started off awful, but really, he ended up great.

And I've seen people complain about his run, and TRUST ME, there's stuff to complain about. But I have only ever seen the stuff worth complaining about, or stuff I WOULD complain about.

WHEN MOST OF THE RUN IS GOOD

At least when Tim is around.

Go figure.

Maybe I should've paid sole attention to how he wrote Tim and nothing else at the very least for that first story.

'Cause even in the first story, Tim was well-written--it's how cheap the rest of the story telling was in that first story that turned me off--and the weird knew about the movie plans that I am still fully judging harshly. (Love the new Superman film suit, though)

[andmaybegayer]

Hello it's me with another very naive computer question!

One of the really common complaints you see about modern software (from Adobe, Microsoft, etc.) is the move from the single-purchase model to a subscription-based model. While I understand that people are upset about paying more money over time, this also feels like the only viable option for shipping products that work with modern OSes, especially Windows (I don't have any experience with MacOS). Windows pretty regularly updates, and if you want your product to continue to work, you have to continue paying your engineers to maintain compatibility through time.

Obviously I understand that there are lots of FOSS options out there, but for the companies that are built on making money from these sorts of software products, I don't see another way. Am I way off the mark here?

This is a really good question. I don't have a great answer, but the model I have in my head is that "traditional software distribution" is partially an artifact of an era where companies were starting to use computers but internet use was still spotty so providing support for software was just a very different ballgame. A lot of what I'm saying here is not like. Fact as much as it is my understanding of The Software Business from the side of someone who is a little involved in that but mostly not in that.

(This is mostly about "business software", that is to say, accounting packages, creative suites, design packages, modelling tools, etc. This model does not explain like. Spotify. But that's much easier to explain.)

You're not wrong that the subscription model really make sense given modern software development, where patches come out continuously and you get upgraded to the latest version every time something changes, but there has been a significant change in how software is developed and sold that makes it noticeably different. I think that the cause of this is mostly because it's finally practical to do contract-style deals with hundreds of thousands of customers instead of doing one-off sales like we used to do.

In the Traditional model you charge a pretty sizeable upfront cost for a specific version of the software, you buy Windows XP or Jasc Paint Shop 7 or whatever and then you get That Version until we release The Next Version, plus a couple years of security and support. When the next version hits, we stop adding any new features to your version, and when that hits end of life, you maybe get offered a discount to buy licensing for the latest version, or you drop out of support.

Traditional software with robust support typically costs an awful lot, Photoshop CS2 was $600 new in 2005, or $150 to upgrade from CS, because you're paying for support and engineering time in advance. A current subscription for just Photoshop is $20/mo, and that's after twenty years of inflation. Photoshop is also cheap, a seat for something like SolidWorks 2003 could probably have run you $3000-4000 easy. I can't even give you a better guess there because SolidWorks still doesn't sell single commercial licenses online, you have to talk to their salespeople.

The interesting thing to me about Traditional pricing was that I think it was typically offered to medium to small businesses or individuals, because it's an easy way to sell to smaller customers, especially if it's the 90's and you're maybe selling your software through an intermediary reseller who works with local businesses or just a store shelf.

Independent software resellers were a big business back in the day, they served as a go-between for the software company and smaller businesses, they sold prepared packages in a few sizes and handled the personal relationship of phoning you up and saying "Hey there's a patch for your accounting software so that it doesn't crash when someone's surname is Zero, we'll send you a floppy disk in the mail with some instructions on how to install it." Versioned standard releases are a thing you can put in a box and give to resellers along with a spec sheet and sales talking points. This business still exists but it's much smaller than it once was, it's largely gone upmarket.

If you were bigger, say, if you were a publishing house that needed fifty seats of editing software you'd probably call the sales department of Jasc or whoever and get a volume deal along with a support contract.

Nowadays why would you bother going through resellers and making this whole complicated pricing model when you could just sell subscriptions with well-established e-commerce tools. You can make contract support deals with individuals at scale, all online, without hiring thousands of salespeople. You can even provide varying support levels at multiple cost brackets directly, so you don't need to cultivate a direct business relationship with all your customers in order to meet their needs. Your salespeople handle the really big megacorp and government deals and you let everyone else administer themselves.

It also makes development easier. You can also deploy patches over the net, you just do it in software. You can obsolete older versions faster, since you can make sure most people are using the latest version, and significantly cut down on engineering time spent backporting fixes to older versions. I think a lot of this is straightforwardly desirable on most software.

Now, there are still packages sold by the version, and there are even companies selling eternal licenses.

Fruity Loops Studio is still a "Buy once forever" type deal.

MatLab can be purchased as a subscription or as a perpetual one-version license.

Windows is still sold like this, but also direct to customer sales of Windows are minimal, Windows is primarily sold to OEM's who preinstall it on everything.

But it's a dying breed, your bigger customers are going to want current support and while there are industries where people want to hang around on older versions, for a lot of software your customer wants the latest thing with all the features and patches, and they'd rather hold on to their money until later using a subscription rather than spend it all upfront. Businesses love subscriptions, they make accounts books balance well, they're the opposite of debt.

Personal/private users who might just want the features of Photoshop CS2 and that's fine forever don't matter to you. They're not your major customers. This kind of person is not a person who your business cares to service, so you don't really care if you annoy them.

Even in the Open Source business world, subscriptions are how the money is made, just on support rather than for the software itself. You can jump through relatively few hoops to run Ubuntu Enterprise or SUSE Enterprise Linux on your own systems for free, but really there's not much benefit to that unless you pay for the dedicated support subscription.

In many ways I think a lot of things have changed in this way, I have a whole thing about the way medium-scale industrial manufacturing has changed in the past thirty years somewhere around here.

While there are valid reasons you might want to buy a single snapshot of some software and run that forever, the reality is that that's a pretty rare desire, or at least that desire is rarely backed by money. If you want to do that you either need access to the source code so that you can maintain it yourself, or you need to strike a deal with someone who will, or it needs to be software so limited that it (and the system it runs on!) never need updates. Very few useful programs are this simple. As a result subscription models make sense, but until recently you couldn't really sell a subscription to small businesses and individuals. Changes in e-commerce and banking have enabled such contracts to be made, and hey presto, it's subscription world.

[marimayscarlett]

I know it's by now an exhausted topic but I wasn't around for that era so hopefully you can enlighten me about Richard's wedding. From the few photos that I've seen I'm so confused. It looked a beach wedding but then also very public? Lots of random people and then in one photo there was a whole film crew? Not like wedding videographer but a boom guy and a huge shoulder camera..? Also, do we know where it was? New York? And lastly, did only Till attended? I know it was a rough time for the band and maybe emotions were too high for some to attend but idk. Richard said he proposed after just 3 days so I always thought the wedding followed very soon after.

Hi 👋

I also wasn't really around for this era, since Richard married when I was about 5 years old, but I try my best to gather the information I have 😌

First of all, here's an article about the wedding by the German magazine Bravo including an English translation:

Caron and Richard married on the 29th of October 1999 and indeed had a beach wedding at the Montauk Beach in Long Island, New York. Since Caron is jewish, they had a jewish ceremony performed by a rabbi and Richard composed the music for said ceremony - apparently quite sad music, of which he said he maybe subconsciously foreshadowed some events in his marriage 👀 (mentioned here around the 10 minute mark).

The wedding was somewhat big with about 100 guests in attendance (so I guess the 'random' people you recognised were just guests), and except for Flake, everyone of the band attend with Till being Richard's best man. I think the 'rough time' for the band only started after the wedding, since Richard left New York three days after the ceremony to work on a new Rammstein album which turned out to be the 'Mutter' record. We have to be careful not to make the infamous 'Mutter era' responsible for everything we see in this time period and apparently, everyone was still quite friendly with each other here 😊 I could be totally wrong, but I don't quite think the conflicts where already there/that high as they turned out to be later.

And wedding movies were a thing back then, so maybe that's the reason for the camera man?

Caron and Richard seemingly were introduced to each other in the summer of 1998, other sources state they dated for 9 months before the wedding. Richard took Caron's name and used the double name Kruspe-Bernstein until their divorce was finalised in I think 2005.

Here are some pictures of the ceremony, including the bride and groom, Khira Li and Margaux:

[dearweirdme]

Responding to some of the comments from my last mole anon ask I'm not new to the group but I am new to the ship. I first started listening to the group around 2018 but watching stuff like Run and the festas a few yrs later and from that, I wouldn't have guessed taekook were dating or even one of the closest friendship. They seemed touchy yeah but i think that for the whole group tbh. It wasn't really until solo era that I started focusing more on fan stuff. I'd say before that I was more fo a casual fan who enjoyed watching the content but wasn't really desperate to see everything bts. Like I knew the basics and the memes but never really was inclined to delve any further and my knowledge of shipping was mostly critical. I did see some of the narratives in the backlash to shipping such as taekook being less close than other members and with (what I now know is edited) official content reinforcing that, it was much easier to believe that than a secret taekook love affair.

But Layover turned out to be one of my favorite albums because it was closest to my musical tastes and culture of music i grew up with and so I started hitting up twitter and specifically searching stuff up to discuss more about tae and his musical influences coz I thought he did such a great job with that album and had some real soul in it despite not being raised in that culture or country of that kind of music. And I think because of the algorithms and how popular taekook is that's when I started seeing my taekook posts pop up on my timeline and from a ship critical perspective, I brushed most of as delulu coz wlmy first exposure of ships being discussed in fandom was that it was weird and inappropriate to ship.

And the stuff that I did see out of morbid curiosity (and I admit it wasn't a lot at that time) just really validated the 'fake' accusations because it was all slow mo'd edits and taekook seemed to have 7 different anniversary dates according to the taekook stuff I read so it was seeming more like shippers were just trying to fit a circle onto a square hole or something. Plus I'd see people responding to those slo mo edits with the real time links and that made it seem even faker.

The I recently saw the mole video on twitter that brought me here and that was the first thing were I couldn't really rationalise it with a platonicary answer because one of the first things I can remember doing in a relationship is laying in bed counting and mapping each others marks and freckles.

So that to me seemed just highly romantic for a couple of bros.

Except I lost the video on twitter so I tried YouTube to find it, nothing. Searched the Internet on general, nothing and I ended up stumbling across this blog. I think I discovered while browsing after seeing a response to an ask that I thought sounded fair enough a d really kinda middle ground for a shipper. It was framed as like 'idnk for sure but here's what I think' and after looking for the link and coming across people who were more definitive in their theories and stuff, I thought somewhere like here would be the best place to ask for the info.

Because at that point, shipping didn't have any good associations to me and I wasn't really comfortable with my own speculation that the mole vid was leaving me with but I also couldn't stop second guessing my own first reaction to deny, deny, deny and make an excuse for it.

So my intentions really were to post here, get a link to the vid, watch it again and be like 'oh yeah, that's been blown out of proportion. No ships sailing here' like I had when people sent those real time links in response to ship edit videos.

(Except we all know what happened next)

While waiting for a response which came pretty quickly, I was looking up for more info on taekook in general and was coming up with mostly horse shit but I was also noticing the more reasoned stuff now that I was actively looking for it.

And in the response, DWM mentioned and tagged the taekook timeline which really topped off me taking a second look at the ship because again it was presented as kinda 'this is what I think, beware, I could be just high on delusional and this whole post could be wish fulfilment but here's what happened and what I think' and angles like that I can appreciate because I find it way more trustworthy than someone presenting a theory as fact which is what it felt like taekook lyves was doing a lot of, imo.

The timeline really sealed the deal for me, tbh, because seeing all their interactions in one place and running on concurrent really blew the hinges off the 'distance' narrative.

Which lead me to the ultimate question which I think is the fossil fuel that taekook sails on; what's with all the fucking secrecy and what's bighit hiding??

Because to me and with the timeline on front of me there was no distance on their distant relationship.

And so I've recently started a rewatch of some of their biggest hits. Like I started with bon voyage and I'm kicking myself and wondering why I didn't consider stuff like the room choosing situation in Bon Voyage Morrocoo or Malta wherever they were, more closely. I can't even explain why I just took it at face value as a joke because looking back JK made it so damn obvious.

And I started noticing the subtleties of their touching and the lack of space. I think part of me started reqatching the BV and Run episodes to be kinda proven right that there was nothing more to the ship and I was being delulu but the more I watch, the more Im starting to notice and those fossil fuel questions keep popping up in my mind.

And as a logical creature who said taekook isn't real when I couldn't see anything proving it, I can't then refuse to consider the possibility that it might be real now that I'm seeing stuff that I consider legit proof or support of a relationship.

As for theories, I don't want it to come across like I'm acting smarter or more superior than anyone else because I think everyone is working off theories even the people who don't believe in it because none of us know these guys or their lives but I don't like when theories are pushed as fact or manipulated or framed as the only possible conclusion to a question. Like could I make another theory as to why taekook ate mapping out each others moles, yeah, course I could but based on my own experience perception and no real clear arguement otherwise etc---the romantic reason is still the strongest supported to me.

So I don't have anything against theories just the way they're framed.

So yeah I guess that's my looong (sorry) story about how I accidently became a taekook shipper.

Hi again mole anon!

It’s really nice to hear your story actually. I think skepticism is definitely a good way to get into this. Also, props to Kayla @taekooktimeline for documenting so well 💜.

[jonathantaylorthomas]

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Are 'All In' and He Plans to Visit Her on Eras International Tour (Exclusive)

The NFL star is planning to visit Swift on the international leg of her Eras Tour, a source tells ET.

Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift's romance is reaching new heights as the NFL star is planning to be by her side when she starts her international tour dates, scheduled to kick off in November.

A source tells ET the duo is fully committed to their relationship and the future.

"Travis and Taylor are all in. The two are very into each other and are enjoying their time together but are also planning for the future. Taylor starts her international tour in November, and Travis is planning to be there to spend time with her," the source says. "Travis and Taylor are very serious about their careers, and the two bond over that and want to show support for each other whenever they can."

During week 10 of the NFL season, Travis and the Kansas City Chiefs enjoy a bye week, providing him with a brief respite. Coincidentally, during this very week, Taylor is set to take the stage for three consecutive nights in Buenos Aires, Argentina, from Nov. 9 to 11, marking her debut international Era Tour performances. This fortunate scheduling overlap grants Travis the opportunity to be in attendance.

In the midst of their whirlwind romance, Travis is taking proactive measures to safeguard his privacy. ET has learned Travis recently purchased a new home, something he has been wanting to do for a long time. His current house was easily accessible to the public, which is no longer feasible given the onslaught of attention he's received.

This news comes after Jenna Bush Hager fueled rumors that the new couple might be buying a house together in Kansas City, Missouri, where the Chiefs tight end lives.

On Monday, the Today show host excitedly claimed in a viral clip that "a friend" shared that the couple might be "buying a house."

Hager was quick to caution viewers that the claim was merely a rumor and "not confirmed by NBC News." ET later learned that the rumor wasn't true -- however, it may have been fueled by Travis' solo house hunt.

Despite his increased privacy -- understandable, given that there were plenty of photos of his house and neighborhood published after Taylor met his family there before attending her first Chiefs game back in September -- Travis has said he's loving every second of his high-profile romance with the pop superstar.

"I embrace it," the Super Bowl-winning tight end said in an interview with Taylor Rooks prior to last week's Thursday Night Football broadcast. "I love the chaos. Knowing everybody is looking at the Kansas City Chiefs, and then you add in all the madness that's happening out here in the world, and it's a whole bunch of fun for me right now."

On this week's new episode of his New Heights podcast with brother Jason, Travis also addressed the viral videos of him helping Taylor from the car on a recent date night, admitting that he does feel "protective" of the singer when they're out together.

"I feel like whenever I'm on a date, I'm always having the sense that I'm a man in the situation," he shared. "I'm protective, yeah, for sure. You always have to have that feeling or self-awareness, I guess."

[lenarish]

A deep analysis on Pantalone

Since his first appearence on genshin on Winter's night Lazzo, Pantalone has become an obsession of mine, which not only made me look further on some Commedia Dell'arte scripts, but also sucked me into a whirlwind of theories regarding the possibilities for what part his character will play in the game.

I'm warning you, this post will be big, but also written in a hurry. There is a chance nothing will make sense, but there's also a chance that I'm not being as crazy as I think I am. After all, I guessed right the first time, when I said here that Dottore and Pantalone could be partners, and it ended up being true.

So fellas, specially Pantalone nation, enjoy this dose of hyperfocus.

The Pantalone archetype in Commedia Dell'arte:

Let's start with a simple question; what is a Pantalone?

I know this question may sound strange at first, but we have to keep in mind that the characters in the original commedia had their main comedic features making their way to be transformed into classic archetypes that still are present in other characters way more famous to us. We may know a lot of Pantalones in fiction, even if we never thought about this connection before! Let me show you some of them:

The "Pantalone archetype", as you can see, is in a nutshell "old men that love money". However, there is often a very important factor that must be considered when identifying them among comical rich characters; they often have a past in poverty, or at least weren't always as rich as they are now, and that is the cause of paranoid and grumpy behaviour. Another common trope for them (nowadays) is their hidden feelings, commonly having one or more family members that they love more than their wealth. That explains why Mr. Burns is the only one up there that doesn't match that new criteria, despite being obviously a Pantalone archetype from head to toe.

There is a reason for that. When we hear a joke, would you find it funny if you couldn't understand it?

Pantalone was created to mock the richer classes at the time (and it's important to remember, the era was marked by the bourgeoisie starting to get a sit among the higher classes.) but at the same time, he was created to represent Venice. We have a double joke here: in his name, and in his personality. The joke in his name is because the animal that represents Venice is the lion, so, to represent it, he was suppose to ''put/plant the lion''(pianta leone in italian) in the places he went to, being it other cities or colonies. Contracting this, we have ''Pantalone'', at the same time that it means Pants. The main joke of his personality is that although he is very rich, he lives almost miserably. It doesn't seem to be a popular portrayal that he was part of a noble family or always rich; he was innitially a merchant, and he is a symbol of the self-made man. That past in poverty is what gives context to why he is so stingy and obsessed with his money. And people loved it. Well, we still do. In fact, the most famous version of his portrayal is not focused on how powerful or cunning he can be, but in this pathetic and grumpy man that could be having a wonderful life, instead, he is too concerned about spending a single penny, and ends up being miserable. All to keep his status as rich. This is funny because we can still understand it, we still know very well what they were mocking.

That is why Pantalone is one of the strongest characters in the commedia. This exact stereotypical behaviour ended up becoming timeless.

More than that, it slowly became more and more a famous archetype to create characters that people end up sympathizing a lot with once they see their pasts. And why that? Time passes, and now we have families being middle class; not rich, but not miserably poor. The picture changes a bit: Pantalone became less a figure to represent rich people being cruel, and more a figure that can be understood; that is ''just like us'', a figure that still have a good heart deep down. The message being: "anyone can become a Pantalone one day, but it can change". (if they are properly traumatized into being gentle to others, like our man Ebenezer Scrooge).

Or even, a person that got blinded by power. And nothing good happens when a person that learned to hate the world and it's people gets power. They learned that the powerful ones can do as they please with vulnerable people like them, and what is sweeter for the oppressed than being the oppressor?

With all that in mind, let's continue.

The Pale Flame Set:

Genshin really went hard with the "rich man with a tragic past" trope for him.

So, we have here a man that feels so forgotten by the divine, so miserable and powerless, that he started to feel enraged at the gods and ready to declare war. It's important to notice since now: It's not about the money for him, it's about the power that comes with it. Because money is a power that common humans should control, not the gods. The gods don't need it, humans need. He needs it. In the end, it's more about him than the rest, I'll talk more about it later.

But what more do we know about him?

To start, many things we can discover about him in game shows that he is not stingy like the more classic versions of Pantalone. For example, the Goth Grand Hotel was entirely reserved by the fatui delegation. When we ask Goth about it, he says that Pantalone was so generous in his offer that he had no choice but to comply with the demand. This shows that he has no trouble using mora to get what he wants if words aren't enough. To me, this is just a good example of someone shamelessly using his power.

We see a similar indication of his "loose" fist on money when in Winter's Night Lazzo, he finds the idea of mourning for half a day absurd. Funny, even. In English, this is not very noticiable, but in Chinese, he sounds very passive-aggressive. He says that Pulcinella's values are ''more twisted than those of a banker like him'', and by that, unapologetically recognizing himself as a twisted person, considering that, right before, he was saying people say that the Northland Bank's true currencies are blood and tears (and cries of loss/wailing, in chinese). We haven't seen many harbingers speaking like this yet; this openly (or implicitly) sadistic.

Ok, Scaramouche was an asshole, Signora was patronizing, and Dottore is simply the cruelest character in the game yet, but I'm not talking about simply being cruel. There are types of cruelty. Signora never bragged about being cruel, neither was she sadistic. She acted violent with Venti for personal reasons, and was very diplomatic with the other archons. Dottore, too, acted very reasonable and calm in Sumeru, and even in the Zandik notes, he doesn't seem to enjoy the suffering of his patients and test subjects, it's just a natural part of the science for him. Scaramouche is the most similar one in that regard, but that speaks volumes by itself. He, too, was a very frustrated abused person wanting to feel like the abuser.

But there's more to it. In Liyue, when we ask Andrei about the Northland Bank, he says that the economy in Snezhnaya "have the brilliance and foresight of Master Pantalone to thank". Pantalone is regarded as a bold mind in economy, and therefore dangerous in many occasions. To start, we have Tartaglia's voice-over indicating his genius:

"Oh, now that guy has a head full of grandiose plans fueled by raw ambition. I don't understand a word he says once he starts talking about his theories… Eh, but as long as he keeps our cash reserves stocked up, I'm not complaining."

Then, we have Uncle tian tellilng us in Yelan's mission:

(...)"However, his "wealth" is not a mere question of how much Mora he has to his name. He has a very unique understanding of wealth… And what he's planning may very well shake the world to its core."

And finally, Scaramouche's voice-over cementing the point being built:

"Oh, the ninth-ranked guy. He's obsessed with the idea of "fair exchange," to the point of wanting to overthrow the natural imbalance between gods and humans. But, I guess it's just how ordinary mortals are like — it's easy for them to come up with pointless delusions. Honestly, it's nothing worth writing home about, just like how there's also nothing impressive about his abilities or choice of partner. Hmph. Anyone who chooses to work closely with The Doctor is sure to meet a nasty end."

Now, we can definitely conclude two things with all that people say about him.

He is very revolutionary and many are already aware that what he is planning will be groundbreaking.

He is ambitious enough to ally himself with a person openly known as destructive and abusive by the other harbingers themselves.

That leads us to the question…

What part will he possibly play in Genshin?

Let's put everything together: We have a character here that has a tragic past, is filthy rich, has revolutionary plans for the future, and apparently is…a bit fragile for a harbinger. What potentials does he have? What can be done with him?

Well, first, I think he will be a parallel to Ningguang.

By that, I'm not stating that I think he is from Liyue. It must seem very obvious for many, but let's not forget that nothing in game confirmed his nationality. Ever. We have to remember that many people were also super sure that Scaramouche would be electro because of ''what the game showed'', but in reality we never saw him using electro powers, we just assumed.

But by saying he will be a Parallel to Ningguang, I'm saying that both were very poor people that are now Teyvat's richest individuals. But while one managed to wake a vision solely by the force of ambition, the other still wasn't graced with one, even if his ambition is as big as (if not bigger than) Ningguang's. Not only that, their views on mora and wealth are very different; while Ningguang is content with things as they are now, Pantalone isn't.

Let's take a look on Wriothesley's signature weapon, the Cashflow supervision:

"We'll start by creating a new currency to replace the dependence on mora"

Hm...

"Nor shall the wealth of the Gods descend, to rescue the dignity of the poor from the feet of the rich."

I don't know about you guys, but I admit that when I first read Pantalone's pale flame piece I thought he was lowkey a radical communist acting as a capitalist(which I found neat, personally), but the Cashflow Supervision opened my eyes. Come on, I know it's not confirmed that the person speaking is Pantalone, but just look at it. He even uses the same analogy of arteries and blood!

Let's think about what is being said here.

He is planning on making a new currency, one that will wipe mora away from the picture. A good plan, if you ask me. And, do you remember? Zhongli told us once, in the end of the Liyue arc:

This is the best opportunity Pantalone could ask for. As the Golden House ceases operation, the Northland bank can act. And I believe this is the reason Pantalone was trying to interfere with Liyuean politics in the first place, with Liyue being the economic capital of Teyvat, of course it's important to have someone that will be more open to agree with his ideas in charge, even if it was treated as a secondary matter to him.

But aside from that, that final sentence in Cashflow supervision really sticks to me. Again this sort of gleeful enjoyment with the power he will have. It becomes obvious that his main motivations behind the ''fair exchange'' between gods and humans isn't to make things better for anyone particularly. The rich will still be rich and the poor will still be poor. What he craves is to feel like a god in the end. To have the power to give and take, to be both feared and praised. And then deny the ones in need, just like he felt the gods denied him in the past.

Now, returning to the Pantalone archetype.

There are two routes for villains like that: 1, they simply die. 2, they change their worldviews in a very traumatic event.

I think Pantalone will die... I don't know, it's a hunch. I sure hope he doesn't, but I wouldn't be surprised if it happens. It's something in how Scaramouche hints he will have a nasty end too, or his dead anime mom hairstyle(kind of), or his white strands of hair... Or better, I think that he would be a good character to kill. Speaking about the narrative. He could die trying to bargain, or he could die while spitting the hardest truths possible to the traveler, maybe even making them reflect about the gods, the Archons, or what the Fatui want after all. I mean...we have now just 2 nations left, and the traveler didn't question anything about the harbingers' motivations?! Oh, please. Or maybe, if not the traveler, at least make the players symphatize with him. He is a very tragic character when you think about it.

If he lives, I think he is literally the best harbinger to make redeemable without it sounding ridiculous. Think about it: how many times a capitalistic villain was actually an anti-villain? I'll show you a very good example. Tumblr's lord and saviour himself:

Yes.

Pantalone is the best character in genshin to suffer a deep realization of his own morals in the best case scenario. But if not, he can flee or die trying to defend himself in the most tragic way, screaming. Maybe cry, plead, remember memories of himself in the past, and in the game? I'm sure some people will feel bad for him if there's a cutscene like this, as we defeat him, even if the final conclusion will be ''well, he deserved it''.

With all that said, I will conclude all this by saying that it's amazing how I love this character when he didn't even show up in the game yet. He has so much potential that I honestly feel that he can't fail, no matter the narrative they choose. It's already impossible. If he ends up being pathetic in the game? I'll love it. If he ends up being a complete maniac? I'll love it too. What if he is cold and calculating? Also fits and I'll like it! What about if he lives or dies? I'm all in, I will want to see it. The only way he can fail in the narrative is by dying too fast like Signora, I mean, before we can properly know more about him in the game(not only through weapons or artifact sets), but even so, Signora's death is the reason we got the Winter's Night Lazzo in the first place. Plus, I don't think Hoyoverse would repeat the same event twice, specially when they are improving the story-telling method significantly.

So think of any possibility for him, seriously, and tell me, honestly, wouldn't it be interesting?

[seeminglyranch87]

Taylor & Travis Timeline

October 2023 - part 2

October 16 - Travis and Jason attend Game 1 of NCLS in Philadelphia

People Magazine release an article (x)

"Taylor's unlike anyone Travis has dated before," 

"It was very unexpected for his friends, but he's so into her and very, very happy."

The insider continues, "Some people thought he was just joking around about the bracelet and having a crush on her earlier this summer, but he was serious about it," referring to Travis' attempt to give Taylor a friendship bracelet with his number on it at her Eras Tour in KC

They are "having a great time getting to know one another"

"They make a very cute couple."

Another People article is released the same day (x)

"They've been texting and talking on the phone between the pockets of time they get to spend with each other,"

"[Travis] knows what he signed up for with this attention, but they've spent time under the radar too. They're giving things a real try,"

Rumours circulate that Travis and Taylor have looked at a house up for sale together (x) as reported by Jenna Bush Hagar on the NBC talk show; Today with Hoda & Jenna.

“A friend from Kansas City texted me there might be news they’re buying a house,”

October 18 - New Heights Podcast episode 59 (x)

Travis & Jason talk about security (timestamp 5:30)

Jason Kelce asks his brother Travis "Have you had to enact any security of your own? Do you feel like you're a security guard when you are with Taylor?"

Travis responded, "I feel like whenever I'm on a date, I'm always having the sense that I'm a man in the situation. I'm protective, yeah, for sure. You always have to have that feeling or self-awareness, I guess."

Travis is trolled by intern Brandon (see photo below)

Travis and Jason have a laugh about Taylor meeting their dad Ed and wondering what he would talk to her about? (45:10)

Travis reveals that he and Taylor’s cameos on SNL were not planned. They had attended the recording of Season 49’s premiere episode in support of good friend and feature musical guest Ice Spice. (1:14:05)

Taylor releases "The Cruelest Summer" playlist which includes Cruel Summer live from the the Era's Tour and Cruel Summer - The LP Giobbi Remix in a bid for Number 1. (x)

ET publishes an article (x)

"They have a lot of fun together and [Taylor] loves how chivalrous [Travis] is," the source says. "Taylor feels at ease with Travis and they are already very comfortable around each other."

ET's source notes that "it's been easy" for Taylor and Travis "to connect because they have similar values and goals when it comes to their personal lives and careers."

Rumours continue to circulate that Travis has bought a $6 million home in Kansas City that provides more privacy and security and that he took Taylor to view the property. (x)(x)

October 19 - ET is informed that the duo is fully committed to their relationship and the future (x)

"Travis and Taylor are all in. The two are very into each other and are enjoying their time together but are also planning for the future. Taylor starts her international tour in November, and Travis is planning to be there to spend time with her," the source says. "Travis and Taylor are very serious about their careers, and the two bond over that and want to show support for each other whenever they can."

During week 10 of the NFL season, Travis and the Kansas City Chiefs enjoy a bye week, providing him with a brief respite. Coincidentally, during this very week, Taylor is set to take the stage for three consecutive nights in Buenos Aires, Argentina, from Nov. 9 to 11, marking her debut international Era Tour performances. This fortunate scheduling overlap grants Travis the opportunity to be in attendance.

Taylor papped in LA dining at a sushi restaurant with Zoë Kravitz, Selena Gomez & Keleigh Teller

October 20 - Travis Kelce answers questions at the Chiefs press conference (x 3:50)

When asked about his appearance on SNL Travis replied (8:00)

"it was funny, obviously I didn't know what was going to go down and just decided to hit SNL last second and they asked if I wanted to end the skit that was about me and Taylor's take over of the NFL games which was hilarious, I loved every bit of it and I was laughing my tail off during the skit, to be honest I don't even remember saying anything..."

Travis was also asked what he recommended people wear to dress up like him as a halloween costume, he suggests a moustache, 87 chiefs jersey and a friendship bracelet. (8:44)

Travis reveals

"I had [a moustache] when I first met Taylor"

US Weekly article (x) a source says about Travis and Taylor

“They’re really happy. They’re not saying they’re in love yet. But it’s obvious to her friends they’re heading in that direction,” noting that their loved ones see Swift, 33, and Kelce’s strong connection when they are together. “Friends think they’re in love.”

“He’s going to see her when she’s back on tour. That’s already planned. And when she gets a break, she’ll see him,” the source adds. “It’s going so well because it’s easy and nothing is complicated.”

“Taylor is really happy and excited about Travis. She’s at the relationship stage where she looks forward to seeing him, getting calls from him, spending time with him,” the source continues. “She has butterflies in her stomach and she hasn’t had that in a while. She feels safe and comfortable around him physically and emotionally.”

The insider notes that Kelce has surprised Swift with how “in tune” he is with her needs. The athlete has also been “a gentleman” toward Swift since he revealed in July his attempt to make a move on Swift while attending her Eras tour concert. “Travis is someone who is so different for her. With him it’s easy. She doesn’t have to worry about anything,”

He has his own career and money. So he’s not with her for the wrong reasons. He has his own successful career and understands the demands,” the insider concludes. “There’s no drama and they’re happy. He’ll visit, she’ll visit. It’s working for them.”

October 22 - Chiefs v Chargers, Arrowhead Stadium, Kansas City. Taylor flies into KC to cheer on Travis and the Chiefs as they take on the Chargers at Arrowhead Stadium.

Taylor is photographed with Bernie Kosar at Travis home pregame (x).

Taylor appears to have had a brilliant time supporting Travis at the Sunday afternoon game joining Brittany Mahomes and others. The Chiefs defeated the LA Chargers 31- 17 with Travis scoring a touch down to cement the win. Taylor wore a "87" friendship bracelet in support of Travis.

Chiefs coach Andy Reid addresses the press commenting on the Chiefs win (x 2:16)

"Kelce keeps getting better with time, Taylor can stay around all she wants"

Taylor and Travis leave Arrowhead Stadium together in Travis' Rolls Royce (x)

tay and trav in the getaway cart

Taylor and Travis celebrate the win at Travis KC home photographed with Chiefs teammate Mecole Hardman Jr. and Chariah Gordon (x)

Taylor changed shoes to be part of a group of teammates, WAGs and close friends of the KC Chiefs wearing custom red nikes. It's so nice to see Taylor be included in this way! (via @taylorswiftstyle and Aric Jones on instagram)

The Messenger reports (x)

" [Travis and Taylor] are both smitten and can't keep their hands off one another when they are together," the source said. "They aren't scared to be affectionate in public."

October 23 - Cruel Summer hits No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100! Cruel Summer hits this milestone 5 years after it was released from the 2019 Lover album. Taylor and Jack Antonoff (who helped produce the song and long time friend) celebrate with a post (x). Notice they are in a recording studio in LA (last week) and are being way too cryptic holding up 11 fingers... TS 11 anyone?

People speak with Ed Kelce, Travis' dad (x)

Ed tells PEOPLE that the “Karma” singer is “a very, very sweet, very charming, down-to-earth young woman."

His initial impression that Swift is “very genuine" was proven right upon his first meeting with the singer.

“I’ll tell you something very special that I noticed about Taylor the first time I met her,” Ed shares. “We're sitting in the suite, she gets up and in the front room, she gets up to go get a drink or something and she starts picking up empty bottles, cans, plates that are scattered around. Because in the suites everybody gets stuff and you empty it down wherever you can.” Ed continues, “And I'm just thinking, I don't think she got the diva memo. She didn't get the spoiled musician. She doesn't know how to pull that off. And that really to me said a whole lot.”

Travis and Taylor are papped hand in hand heading out for dinner Monday evening at Piropos, an Argentine Steak House. Travis is seen opening the car door for Taylor. (x)

Victor Oladipo believes Taylor Swift makes Travis Kelce better (x)

October 25 - Ed Kelce speaks with ET (x)

"I think they are two very, very driven professional individuals," he says. "I think they're very supportive of each other, which is key. This is a rough time for either one of them to have a relationship. She's in the middle of this ginormous tour, he's knee deep [in the NFL season]. At least he takes his just as serious as she takes hers as far as commitment to their craft."

Ed believes that Taylor's pre-concert ritual of preserving her voice -- which Travis claims is the reason he was unable to present her with a friendship bracelet -- shows how dedicated and understanding she is when it comes to her career. 

"I think she's very committed to that," he says of the "Anti-Hero" songstress. "And I think Travis supports that. And I think she realises how committed Travis is to sleep, 10 hours a day, when your body is going through this kind of thing. So I think they're both very supportive."

And should the Chiefs make it to the Super Bowl...

"Without a doubt," he says about saving a seat for Tay. "She'll be in the middle of the Eras Tour so..."

And if Ed himself should ever make it to the Eras Tour, he'll be singing "You Belong With Me," as he revealed that it's his favorite song of hers.

"Being genuine with your feelings," he tells ET of the dating advice he gave Travis and Jason. "Being respectful of a woman, and that's taught from a young age. Be yourself, be honest with someone's emotions. But these are all things that they've understood growing up just being the norm."

Episode 60 of New Heights airs, part of the episode title is "Travis Reacts to “Swift Stats"" (x 56:20)

In response to whether National Tight End day is a real holiday, Jason tweets

October 26 - Taylor is seen out in NYC. She is at Bradley Cooper's apartment with Shawn Levy, Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman. That night, Taylor goes out for dinner with Alana and Danielle Haim at Holiday Bar, NYC (x)

Patrick Mahomes says that he wants to have a secret handshake with Travis after his wife Brittany and Taylor went viral for theirs (x)

“I need to talk to Travis, because me and Travis don’t even have a handshake yet,” Patrick, 28 said during a radio interview with Kansas City’s KCSP (610 AM) on Thursday, October 26. “So I mean, they’re ahead of the game on us. So we’re gonna have to get on the whiteboard, and we’re gonna figure out a handshake so that we can try to one up theirs.”

Go to previous update -> October 2023 Part 1

Go to next update -> October 2023 Part 3

Return to timeline

[charmedreincarnation]

to the last anon, how i wish i had the same problem as yours😭 i’m not ridiculing you at all. I’m so happy that you entered the void and i hope after charm’s answer you realise how fun it is to be, where you are. You can be anywhere, everywhere. (totally didn’t steal that from a movie lol)

If you end up seeing it, and if you don’t mind, can you tell us how did you tap in?

I know it’s useless to vent and i know no one can physically do it for me. I know only i have the power to change my life. I promise you if you were to quiz me im your A plus student on paper. All my life i have been that. When it comes to practical things, i am terrified. I won’t go into my story but charm, how do i explain to you that i know everything there is to know. I truly believe that if i desire something then i’m meant to have it.

I don’t want to sound corny but i have always prayed to God asking for a “do-over” because the mistakes i made were hella silly but drastically changed my life and mind you, i used to specify the fact that i don’t want to start a new chapter in this book. I actually, truly want like a “new book” if it makes any sense. I want to be a drastically different person. I always prayed for it even though i knew just how crazy and illogical it sounded (if i were to tell anyone about it)

And guess what? i found out about the void. I couldn’t believe my eyes. God listened to me. I have the ingredients now. I can’t beg him to bake the cake for me. I want to do it myself but i genuinely wonder why i haven’t been able to tap in yet. (I have been “seriously” trying countless times, i persist in the knowing i’m here for a reason and i’m meant to have my dream life) I know anything is possible.

Coming to my technical issue:

I affirm, focus on my breathing. I feel the symptoms. I get this intense pressure around my third eye. I feel like i’m floating, my head is spinning. I twitch a little (not a lot, i used to, but luckily i manifested them away) Sometimes i visualise i’m in the water, floating. When that doesn’t help or gets distracting, i just focus on the black in my eyes. I get to this stage and i think i know i am already in but i never am. I persist at least for an hour but nothing.

(This was my spiral era that used to happen a lot. I don’t do this anymore)

I think after the one hour mark, i get impatient i’ll be honest. I feel beaten because i did “everything” right so why didn’t i make it. I spiral. I get myself together and try again. I remind myself i’m god and again, I get to the symptoms part and i just stay there. Like i am stuck on the same floor and can’t make it to the rooftop (if i were to explain this in layman’s terms)

I cannot go on like this anymore. I can’t wake up in the same bed tomorrow. I don’t want to. I know i am not doing anything wrong when i attempt for the void. What do i do😔

You’re doing everything right, but I’ve learned that even better than discipline is just natural fulfillment . I actually changed my mind when I say discipline is better than motivation. I still agree with that statement but even better than that is just feeling happy doing what you do. No one is forcing you to meditate for hours if it just makes you angry by the end of it. I also personally hate meditations and only do it for basic breathing practices, but I have stuck to intention, daydreaming, and scripting, and trying other methods out of curiosity, such as the void.

But babe, It should feel natural and not forced. You shouldn’t be doing anything you wouldn’t be doing if you didn’t know about the law. You’re just reminding yourself you’re trying to get something which isn’t the goal. you just want to feel what it would be like to have those desires and receiving it in the 3D is a nice bonus :)) go back to the beginning, start from there and then apply the law. You should feel free, or (maybe feel “apathetic”, it’s different from everyone.) but if you’re feeling stress it’s because you’re doing what you think you should be doing, not what you want to do. You understand the law which you emphasized so you know you’re okay and everything is yours. Why would you give yourself stress knowing that and knowing anything you do (even if that’s nothing if you so desire) will work out in your favor.

[iwitch-plus]

Heya :) it's been a while!

Hi, my name is Dolly (she/her) and I've had this blog for quite some time! In the past I've done things like open up free readings, or create discord servers as a way to feel a sense of community, but this time around I think I'm okay with just being here instead of seeking attention and validation. A new era of this blog marks my first steps toward ACTUAL self-discovery and growth.

This was initially a side blog but now it's the main one I use. But since it's technically a side blog, if you see any likes/follows from @ibitch-plus that's me lol!

I just thought I'd make a pinned post sharing a little about myself, and I'll try to keep it brief but I'm bad at that.

The direction this blog is going to be going is ideally going to be personal, intimate, focused on my own growth as a person, and focused on my growth in my practice. I plan on being vulnerable and fairly open but not to the point where it's a burden on followers. I just want this to become a safe space for myself and others to share if they have been feeling like they're lacking in personal growth/their practice. You're not alone! And you're welcome to follow me and join me on my journey to help inspire your own journey!

I'm 23, I'm a Virgo sun, Gemini moon, Gemini rising, and I have an air dominant chart with a Gemini stellium!

I started researching and learning about Witchcraft in 2014/2015, so I guess I’ve been practicing on and off for 8-ish years. Still feel like a baby witch though, and ready to keep learning.

While I do love witchy aesthetics, my witchy blog has always been more dedicated to research, resources, and text posts along with my own personal photos, anecdotes, spells, and journey.

My witchy interests include:

Tarot

Herbalism

Botany

Kitchen Witchery

Astrology

The Moon

Sigils

Glamour Magic

Low effort Witchcraft

Natural products (making my own salves, tinctures, balms, etc!)

Aphrodite

All Greek pantheon, honestly

Spirits/Entities/Demons/Deities of all kinds

Crystals

Pendulums, and most other forms of divination

Mixology

Probably so many more but I can't think of any more specific ones!

My non witchy interests include:

Video games! Mostly Nintendo Switch gaming and cozy games but I play a lot of stuff on PC and some on other consoles, too!

Cartoons! Kids cartoons, adult cartoons, anime. I just like it better when it doesn't have real people in it. I love Adventure Time, Gravity Falls, recently been into Bob's Burgers, I'm just a big cartoon fan!

Cats! I have 2 boy kitties, a little black one and a big ol' orange dude. They're my favorite, and I love pretty much all cats in general.

Piercings and tattoos! I work in a tattoo shop, currently working on my piercing apprenticeship!

Mixology! Again, lol! I find the art of making and creating cocktails to be very witchy, but also just super fun in non-witchy ways.

Fashion! I love clothes and shoes, and I can never stick to one aesthetic

Pool! Like, as in billiards! Super random but it's fun and I've gotten a lot better over the past couple years!

Pretty much any hobby ever! Soap making, candle making, baking, embroidery, hand sewing, cosmetic making, jewelry making, singing, makeup, playing instruments, I just love to do it all.

Okay that's enough about me, like I said I'm bad at keeping it brief but there ya go! Can't wait to get back into the community. <3

[sammygender]

final s9 thoughts

CONS

kevin fucking died

this show is allergic to making sense. first of all metatrons evil because he kicked the angels out of heaven. ok. fair enough i guess. now he wants the angels back in heaven and is helping them get there but hes still evil and needs to be stopped? whats he doing that needs to be stopped? like i understand you guys dont like him but at the end of the day hes essentially going Oops my bad... and going back on his actions but this needs to be stopped??? Okay NOW apparently metatron fancies himself as god/gabriel/chuck/andrew from buffy the vampire slayer and is obsessed with pop culture and wants to be god (this is a fun development) so this needs to be stopped. sure i guess. now hes committing the evil act of healing people lots and declaring himself the new god (yes this is what cas did but honestly it was so much cooler when cas did it.....not being sarcastic....it was....). ok i guess that works out. fun guy. but dear god did his character motivations switch up

jesus christ sam cannot catch a break

like seriously. and hes been so worn down by it all. i feel so awful for him its actually fucking insane no one has suffered more than him

dean intensifies from being intensely jealous controlling and possessive in s8 into full gaslight gatekeep girlboss mode. at the start i was kinda going Well this is fucking AWFUL and evil and traumatic for sam but i would've probably done the same thing if it were me. but then the further in the season the worse he gets as well. once the gaslighting is over he moves onto just getting more and more aggressive and controlling. some of it is moc but some of it isnt <3

PROS

all of the above are also pros except for the killing kevin. what the hell. he was my favourite character. also except for the fact that the show mostly ignores sam's depth of trauma

i like watching dean get worse because i enjoy suffering and emotional devastation and should have sam winchester taken away from me by cps (character protective services)

s4 parallels are so cool. i cheered when they locked dean in the panic room type thing basement whatever. DESERVED!!!!!

MARK OF CAIN IS SICK SORRY. very little of it makes a modicum of sense but like ultimately i dont care. yesssss dean get worse turn into your abusive father!!!

cas :) he had so many eras and i loved them all

unfortunately i am not immune to Crowley. awesome character. so excited for him and deans summer of love

more charlie? i dont remember how much charlie was this season and how much was s8. but i love her

the shows getting self-aware and self-referencial in a way that only shows this long running can do and im eating it up. sorry.

[sophietv]

What are your thoughts on 1975 fans trying to attribute a lot of Easter eggs to Matty in the new video? :( Someone on Twitter put a visual together of all the highlights and it’s so annoying because when it’s laid out like that I see it and I hate that I see it. Just like lighting visuals being very similar, and particular dates being significant to the 1975 and/or Taylor. For example, the July 9th 1:38 people are saying is for Taylor and Matty’s birthdays (the 13th and the 8th). I guess the timeline makes sense because early April when she filmed this video would have been around the time when she was hanging out with him and doing whatever pr nightmare that was…talk me off the ledge pls! Lol.

Hi!

Don't worry, I went and check the threads you were talking about and I'm confident that it's not related or at least not as they think.

The lighting in I Can See You Lyrics Video is the bisexual lighting and fits really well with the theme of the song.

Her comparing being in love with another woman to being a spy and having to navigate cautiously to not be seen.

The spy scene is remisnescent of a commercial she did:

(X)

And what she was trying to protect back then in the briefcase was a microphone you know to "Speak Now" maybe...

The videoclip has a lot of references to Look What You Made Me Do both MV and Eras Tour number, and I think it's very important and meant to point at Karma.

A girl, that is remisnecent of Lizz comes and save her with her beard at the time that shielded her.

All her outfit of her public appearance (X) emprisonned behing glass.

Side note on all of this is reminescent of the Tom Ford commercial Karlie did not long ago

With the lyrics video too:

Her being locked up in a Vault. With an orange door.

And the Eclipsed Sun imagery (do with that that you will ;-) )

Also some Karlie's parallel:

With Long Live lyrics on her arm.

"I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you"

Long Live was written a month after Chely Wright came out. And if you take the time to really look at the lyrics, you see how well this all fits together.

Someone counted all the marks on the wall, and there's 1468 lines/days.

The exact number of days between when her masters got stolen and her releasing Speak Now Taylor's Version (X)

When she's finally free. All the glass closet shatter.

And even more. The building holding her captive explodes once and for all.

The person who help her escape has stars on her right side (Eye theory I'm looking at you)

Stars on the face are there always to depict Taylor Swift TM public personna.

And she's the only one that can actually see Taylor and help her out.

Some say it might be gaylors, who can actually see the real Taylor.

But whoever this person is meant to represent.

She codes...

And has a ring on her right ring finger....

Now the dates:

It's tonight.

Remembre how Taylor said that Speak Now her version would be out on July 7th just in time for July 9th where we would be able to celebrate?

Now the time 1:38. The mission starts at that time. But how much time would it take to get her out? 20 minutes maybe?

Wich leads to: "Lit through the darkness at 1:58" and "That July ninth, the beat of your heart"

Both lyrics from last kiss.

To me it does sound like a rendez-vous. Now the only thing to determine is: is it 1:38 ET or 1:38 Liverpool time wich would be 8:38 ET (just before Taylor goes on stage for the show tonight).

And notice that in the countdown yesterday. Beside the clock in the front, every other clocks pointed to 1:58

And the other date is where it gets really interesting...

I found this last night.

May 22 2020

Here's what happened for Taylor on that date:

And when you type the adress, you are still led to her website with this ULR message:

"they wouldn't me do it Karma" (X)

And yes, I think it is exactly what you think it is...

Remembre how last week right before Karlie posted 6 palm trees (Karma was supposed to be TS 6th album)

The URL on karmaonthewall.com changed for "after Midnights it starts" to "Ready For It"

Suki, Austin and Kristine Karlie's sister also posted palm trees last week....

Here's a post I did about how Ready For It is relevent for all of this (X)

So yeah... everything in that MV is sooo important.

Nothing is related to Matty.

Now we just have to wait and see. And show a lot of support and love for that amazing woman who's been throught so much and deserves the world.

And after this URL change of last night... I think we can safely agree that karmaonthewall.com is really related to Taylor too...

[feekins]

today, as I re-read ch 3 of Trigun Maximum vol 1, the focus of our story shifts to post-timeskip Meryl! what's she up to? what strange new translation discrepancies will I stumble upon next? let's jump right in and find out! 😁

(NOTE: I'm reading the Dark Horse [physical] and the Overhaul [online] translations side-by-side)

ok so the moment I saw the first page, I had to go grab Trigun vol 1 for comparison purposes.

SO. a couple things I wanna note about the in-'verse timeline, for posterity:

Lost July happened on July 21, 0104

Fifth Moon happened in October of 0110

at Fifth Moon, Vash references the Fall as having happened 150 years ago...

...which has me thinking that some major post-Fall event led to the decision to start a new calendar "era" - like how, in tristamp, the "Planet Era" was heralded by humanity managing to establish a planet-wide radio network using a satellite that was launched pre-Fall (source: Studio Orange on Twitter)

(SIDE-NOTE: on the sheet we see Meryl hand Roberto towards the beginning of tristamp ep 1, we see Meryl's birth year marked as "PE081" and her age as "23" - which tells us that tristamp starts in the year 0104 - which tracks with the date the manga gives us for Lost July! and also has me thinking we won't have a Fifth Moon in the new anime, but I digress;;;;; )

Trigun Maximum picks up 2 years after Fifth Moon (0112)...

...but we first see post-Fifth Moon Meryl on her 23rd birthday in February of 0113...

...meaning a few months have passed since we met Eriks!

oh, and that office lady, Karen, says Meryl's Vash assignment was 4 months long, which puts the start of Trigun vol 1 at July of 0110!

anyway. I thought that was interesting. if it hasn't been done already, it would be cool for someone to keep track of the manga timeline (someone who isn't me, lmao - I've already spent over an hour on this post;;;;; )

(Dark Horse on top, Overhaul on bottom)

anyway! here's the first little translation discrepancy that jumped out at me this chapter! similar wording, sure, but to me, subtle differences in meaning and overall vibes the phrasing gives off rly emphasizes Vash's softness in the Overhaul 💕

(Dark Horse on left, Overhaul on right)

but this? lol idk, man ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

additional shit in the Overhaul's translation! not surprised that Keele seems like even more of an asshole here lmao

...ok but it's rly funny to think about the possibility that all Vash knows about insurance agents comes from his impressions of Meryl and Milly. so. I guess in his mind, Keele's just par for the course 🤣

subtle difference in wording here, but thanks to the Overhaul, this little bit makes a lot more sense to me this read-through =u=

same deal here!

wow, they're married... 🤣🤣🤣

and again! Dark Horse had me thinking Meryl was talking about Vash here. the Overhaul makes it clear that, no, she's talking about that asshole Keele

[starseneyes]

Chenford REWIND - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 4 Ep 14

This one might seem a little weird for me to pick out of the pile, but it really resonated with me for a few reasons that I'll get into once we dive into the Meta.

Season 4 is the era of open Tim and Lucy truly sharing in one another's lives at a level they never did before. It's needed for this episode.

So, bear with me because this is more of a "mini meta", but this episode deserves it, I think.

SPOILER ALERT: In the land of Spoilers I doth play! Merriment is to be had for those who partake of said indulgences, but for those who forsake the foreign finds, atrophy doth await. Okay, I can be a little silly because we've done this enough. Spoilers within. But I do try to write without foreknowledge of what is to come.

Everyone versed on the way this works? Excellent! I'm ready to dive in.

"... since I don't know my biological father, you know, it makes it kind of challenging."

I hate these forms with everything in me. And I. Have. Twins. So every time I start them with a new doctor, I have twice as many forms that have to be filled out in the same time as most parents get for one. So, I'm with you, Lucy.

Also, I remember the first time I had to fill out a School Form after meeting my biological father. I was a lot younger, but I remember my absolute confusion. "Mama, am I Hispanic?" "Just mark 'white'," she responded. Yeah... it was an interesting season.

"Wait. Your Dad's not your bio dad?" "Mmnm." "You never told me that." "It's not really a big deal. My Dad, the man who raised me, is my Dad."

Absolutely, Lucy! Blood does not determine fatherhood.

I remember an episode of The Pretender that took the angle of "Didn't I teach you to tie a tie?" and I was a mess of blubbering crazy on the floor because "Dad" isn't owed to anyone just because they contribute biological matter to an insemination. "Dad" is a special moniker.

And, yes, I call both the man who raised me until I was 7 and my biological father "Daddy". Plus I have a step-dad. My wedding was really interesting with three Father Speeches, let me tell you!

"She told me that he was not ready to be a father..."

I do feel for Lucy's mom on this one. My biological father let his friends convince him my mother was lying... so he never wanted anything to do with me.

She had to go to court to get the blood test for... you guessed it... medical history forms, so she'd be able to fill them out accurately for me.

Yeah, Lucy doesn't owe this man anything and neither did her mom.

Wait... did I just take Mama Chen's side on something? It feels dirty...

"Hey, do you think it's weird I didn't try to find my biological dad?" "No. You don't owe the guy anything."

Thank. You. Lucy, if you're not going to listen to me (just like football teams when my Uncle's screaming at them from his couch), then please listen to your husband.

What I also love about this is that we've caught up with them mid-conversation. It's possible they were talking about this in the Shop, but I like to think that it came up between them before. Lucy's comfortable telling Tim almost anything.

For a man who tries hard to keep the Shop a "personal free zone", by Season 4 Lucy has worn him down, and he's beyond telling her to stop.

She's already versed Tim on the fertility fun, so it's completely natural for her to talk to him about this, too.

"The only thing he ever contributed to your life was measured in millimeters."

Best. Husband. Ever. Get this man an award, because he's busting out all the support for his wife while calling out this no-show sperm-contributor on his lack of parental contribution. We stan a man who thinks fatherhood demands some bloody effort.

Look, I love my bio dad and we have a great relationship. But it took a lot of work and a 13-year-old screaming at her father to put down the beer and drive because he was the adult and needed to act like it. Yeah...

"Seriously, I don't know why I bother talking to you about personal stuff." "Mission accomplished."

This cracked me up the first time I saw it! Because, Tim's beyond telling Lucy to stop talking, right? But that doesn't stop him from being a cynical bitch to get her to stop.

She gives him the look, but his gaze is safely on Bailey so he isn't instantly vaporized by meeting her eyes.

"Why don't you give us a list?" "How about giving me your number?"

Tim turns to her and does his little finger point that he did when dismissing her when they decided to ride together again as Gofer and Sergeant.

He didn't need her involved in his paperwork that night so he waves her away. This time, he's waving himself out of his conversation. Also, he doesn't want to be present so he doesn't have to write Lucy up for threatening the guy.

"Sir, are you okay?" "Do I look like I'm okay?" ... "Did you see where she went after she attacked you?" "Obviously not."

Calm down, Timmy, my boy. About 12 seconds ago you asked a man washing his blood-red, can't-open eyes with a garden hose if he was okay.

Neither one of you's doing great in the common sense department, today, so why not back off on the attitude directed my girl's way?

I've seen a small contingent of people claim Tim's changed too much from Season 1. Nah. What we've seen is a man who was at the lowest point of his life finding healing. It's gradual, but it's there.

And we see that the cynical, sarcastic, dead-pan part of him is still there. But it's not overwhelming all the other wonderful, layered parts of him like before.

Also, I speak cynicism and sarcasm, so in that I've found a kindred spirit in a fictional character.

"People suck." "Amen to that."

He's not wrong. Look, there are individuals who can be pretty amazing, but in my experience, people as a whole generally suck. That's why the kind-hearted, compassionate, considerate, empathetic humans matter so much. That's why people like Lucy matter so much.

Because in a hurting world, the hope-bringers matter. They're the ones who light a torch in the blackest night and hold it high for others to see. And as we're drawn toward that light, holding our own water-logged torches, drenched in our tears... we find warmth. We find hope.

The warmth dries out our torches, not erasing our tears, but ceasing their flow. And then, slowly, the spark within each of us returns, and we can then hold our own torches high for the next weary travelers who've lost their sense of self on the difficult trails of life.

Tim's torch is starting to spark, and he can thank Lucy for a lot of it. But, right now, he's reminding us that he's one of us... still not all the way out of the dark.

Lucy twitches her hand at Tim's remark, almost a "Are you kidding me!?", but Tim doesn't see it.

"Is it better to know? Or to not?" "You talking about bio dad now?"

Kitty! My husband says that to me every time I cock my head to the side in response to something he says. It reminds him of his kitties he grew up with.

So, as soon as Tim cocked his head, I thought "kitty!" and promptly erupted into laughter in an empty room like a madwoman.

But I love how well Tim can read her. There are still times he checks in with her with a "You okay?", but we're seeing the evolution of his understanding of Lucy. He's grown in his understanding of her, and right now he knows exactly where her mind has gone.

And how special is it that she's working through this with Tim?

Look, family stuff can be complicated and we've already seen Lucy's issues with her mother. Tim has likely had several earfuls of all this, but I love how supportive he's being of her, here.

He's not telling her what to do. And that immediately throws me to post-DOD when he didn't tell her what to do with her tattoo. There's a consistency here that I appreciate.

Also, I love this growth compared to when she was vetting Emmett. She pretended to talk to Rachel (not this Rachel... but I'll totally be her second Rachel BFF if Lucy Chen, fictional character, is looking for a new BFF). And when Tim called her on it, she admitted she needs to process orally and knew he wouldn't do it with her.

Look. How. Far. We've. Come. Tim doesn't have to be talked into it. In fact, he's the one who drew it out of her when she started waxing poetic Shakespeare style—"To know, or not to know?"

Tim is Lucy's sounding board, now. Losing Jackson was huge. And while Lucy loves Tamara and talks to her a lot, it's not the same thing since there's more of a mother/daughter relationship at play.

And as someone with incredibly odd parent/child dynamics, I'm not judging. Just saying, it's different.

But in the vacuum that stole Jackson from Lucy's life, there will never be someone to fill that space completely. Yet, certain elements transferred near-seamlessly to Tim. Tim and Lucy are friends, and they are deeply involved in one another's lives, at this point.

Remember, we are post double-date, post Tim's father, post Lucy helping with demo, post so many other things that moved them forward in Season 4. Walls were torn down between them.

It's that thinnest veil now keeping them apart. That, and their placeholder significant others because, wow, were we dealing with some dead weight in Season 4, am I right?

Tim tells Lucy to find out the truth, and I love that. He's encouraging her in this endeavor on the same day he told her "mission accomplished" in scaring her off. He's still Tim. He's still going to be a bit of an ass, sometimes.

But, damnit, he's making more and more exceptions for Lucy. And he doesn't even realize it, yet. But we get the delicious point-of-view of watching it happen, and I love this for them!

"The year your mother became a therapist, she slept with a patient. He was your father... I think the shame still eats her up."

Hold. Up. Mama Condescending slept with her patient!? That is one of the rules you do not break. So rather than own up to her mistake, even with her own daughter, she tried to mold Lucy into the model of perfection without consideration for the psychological damage she might be inflicting?

Oh, Mama Chen and I are gonna fight the next time her face appears on my screen. You don't do my girl Lucy dirty like that.

It's totally in-character. Like, it makes sense. But it also hurts. Because "the shame still eats her up". Lucy's mind can't help but wonder if part of that shame is her.

"You okay?"

Hubby knows when wifey's acting off. And he knows it has something to do with her father. So, he's not going into this blind. Tim Bradford is asking Lucy Chen about her state of mind knowing it's personal.

"Personal Life Free Zone" my ass.

"My whole life, nothing I have ever done has been good enough for my mom. Not, not my grades, my boyfriends, my career. And this whole time she has been a total hypocrite." "Look, uh, maybe she's trying to prevent you from making the same mistakes she did."

Oooh, swing and a miss. Tim, you can't help someone avoid repeating history if they don't know history.

Also, Lucy's never gonna sleep with a suspect, which is the closest equivalence I can make. She may sleep with a certain Sergeant, though, down the line. Am I right?

I've wondered for a while, too, if Tim has a soft spot for Moms considering everything he went through with his own Mom. From what we can tell, he tried to shield her and protect her even when he knew things were bad with his father.

My brother and I had a bad string of babysitters when my mother first became a single Mom. She divorced my brother's dad shortly after her mother died, and it was just the three of us.

We knew how bad it was. How hard it was for her to find good sitters. When we finally found a decent one who would let us stay over at her place when needed... we hid it from my mother when she and her husband got into a physical altercation in front of us.

I was about 7 and my brother was 3. He didn't quite understand what was going on, so as my Nanny ripped us out of bed and drove around town half the night looking for a place to stay... I distracted him. I played games with him.

And as we fell asleep foot-to-foot on her mother's couch across town, I was satisfied to know he didn't understand what was happening. I managed to protect him.

And I protected my mother, too, by not telling her. Because I wanted to shield her. I didn't want her to have one more thing to worry about.

Tim strikes me as a kindred soul in that. So, he looks at Lucy's mother and doesn't quite see the whole picture. After all, he hasn't even met the lady... yet.

Oh, but when Tim Bradford meets Mama Chen and sees the bullshit she puts Lucy through? He's gonna have his wife's back and it's going to be a glorious minute twenty-five of television that I will play on repeat to my heart's content.

"Or she resents me for reminding her of the one time in her life that she messed up."

There it is. The shame. Is that why Mama Chen is always ashamed of her? Lucy has to wonder.

"Lucy, it's..."

No, phone. Not now! I have never wanted to chuck a phone out the window so badly as I did when Lucy's chirped just then.

Because Tim Bradford knows a thing or two about a parent who makes you feel ashamed of yourself. And I really want to know what he was going to say.

One of y'all better have a fanfic to fill in the blanks because, whew, if I find Lucy's phone alone in a back alley, one of us isn't coming back.

Yes, I know I have a beef with an inanimate object and that the whole bloody thing's fictional.

But damnit, I want Tim to have the opportunity to speak love into Lucy's life as often as possible and that. phone. killed. my. dream.

"Patrick Walsh. That's my father's name." "Well, I mean, at least it's not something weird like Dilbert." "You mean like the cartoon character?" "Someone named their kid Hashtag. You never know."

I love this. Tim falls into their natural rhythm, and Lucy goes along with him. It actually coaxes a smile out of her, which is what I think he was trying to do.

Awww, our babies have graduated to responding to one another's needs wordlessly. I'm so proud of them!

"So, what are you gonna do?" "Find out the truth."

She's echoing Tim's exact words to him, which I love. But I also love that Tim is driving this whole conversation.

Mr. "Personal Life Is a No-Go On The Job" is the one coaxing this out of Lucy. Because he knows her well enough to know that she'll stew on it, otherwise. If he wants her focused on work, he has to get her through those personal blocks by talking it out.

This whole episode is a love letter to Tim's understanding of Lucy and how far they have come. Yes, he gave her a little trademark Tim at the top with his no-nonsense assessment of ejaculation's lack of causality to actually being a parent.

But, throughout this episode, he's been the one driving the conversation. He's been the one drawing her out. And he's been the one supporting her in this, which is huge.

They. Have. Come. So. Far.

"He's dead."

I can't even imagine. All of these scenarios Lucy built up in her head, and they're just gone.

I met my Dad at 6. He got clean when I was in my 20's, and that is when we truly bonded. But I've had friends meet their biological fathers into their 40's. It was a wild ride.

And though Lucy loves her Dad (the one who raised her), she was curious about this man who fathered her.

A girlfriend of mine was fascinated when she met her biological father and found out he was an artist... like her. It was so cool for her to connect those dots, even though she still recognized the man who raised her as her real father (because blood ≠ "real"). There was a piece of her that she'd never seen in another human, before, and that was cool.

Lucy will never have those moments. And wanting them doesn't mean she loves her Dad any less. She simply wanted to meet the man who fathered her, to know that piece of herself a little better.

"Maybe I should have tried to find him sooner." "Maybe, but he's the one who made the decision that he wasn't ready to be a parent. Whatever he did with his life after, it's not on you."

All. Of. This. And you can tell Lucy's not completely convinced, because what kid is? Yes, Lucy is a grown woman. But when it comes to our parents, we'll always be their kids.

Lucy hasn't had the best examples of functional relationships. And, frankly, neither has Tim. Neither of them know what it looks like to really work through.

We can argue that Tim was married before, but that didn't work out. For a million reasons, it didn't work out.

And this whole "egg" thing started because Lucy's Mom wanted to be sure she'd have grandchildren even if Lucy never found the right man. And that led Lucy down the path to finding her birth-father... only to find out he died. alone.

If she had reached out sooner, could she have changed that? And, Lucy, honey, I know that "what if" game oh so well. It never ends if you keep playing it. So, you have to step away.

And, you. Yes, YOU! Don't play the what-if game. None of us can change our pasts, but we can shift our paths.

Our past is written, but the future's as twisty and turny as my kids' favorite board game. Lots of options. Lots of opportunities. Don't limit yourself because of the past. Don't "what-if" your life away.

Do what you can with what you have, and bit-by-bit, you'll build a new life. One breath at a time.

As always, thank you for reading. See you on the next!