#guess what I have been listening non stop lately

[mafiatsunafish]

[lesservillain]

baby daddy!eddie x mom!reader

cw: smut, non established relationship, best friend!eddie as well, idiots in love

wc: 3.8k

Closing the door as gently as he could, Eddie tip toed down the hall of the trailer and rounded into the kitchen to get himself a beer. He’d played hard enough with Autumn that she could barely keep her eyes open through her bath, but that also meant he wore himself out in the process. So after cracking open a can, he plops his ass down and turns on the TV, ready to chill until he passes out on the couch.

Well, that was the plan. Just as he got comfortable, there was a small knock on the trailer door. With a frustrated sigh, Eddie jumps back up, mumbling something about people coming to his house so late at night.

“Listen, I’ve told you all I don’t fucking deal anymore—Woah!”

Instead of some annoying kids looking for weed, Eddie was met with your sniffling nose and tear stained cheeks. He immediately went into best friend mode, wrapping you in a big hug and letting you get those emotions out.

After some crying and a soaked shoulder later, you finally peel yourself away from Eddie and attempted to talk, but only babbling came out.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Eddie says, thumbs rubbing the tops of your shoulders. “Just calm down and tell me what happened? Did someone hurt you?”

You shook your head, doing your best to compose yourself.

“He-he-he g-got mar-married,” you hiccup out.

Eddie blinks at you. He knows exactly what you were talking about. Dustin told him back when that Harrington met a girl about 6 months ago and apparently they hit it off right away. The last thing he wanted to do was tell you about her considering your long time pining for him Especially considering he’s the reason Harrington would never ask you out. But you ended up finding out on your own, and devastated couldn’t even begin to describe how you felt.

It seemed soon in Eddie’s opinion, granted he would marry you tomorrow if you would say yes. When Dustin told him that he was going to be the best man that the wedding, Eddie had mixed feelings. He knew that it would kill you when you found out. That you’d react exactly as you were now.

Actually, you’re doing a little better than he anticipated.

“He came into the store and,” you blew your nose into the toilet paper he grabbed for you, “and I saw the ring on his finger when he was getting his money out of his wallet.”

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Eddie says, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close.

“They haven’t even known each other that long! He’s such an idiot…”

“I’ve been trying to tell you that,” Eddie jokes, rolling his eyes.

“Oh god, what if--do you think it’s because she’s pregnant?”

Eddie’s pretty sure Dustin would have told him if that was the reason why, but it’s not an unreasonable guess.

“I don’t know, could be? Or maybe Steve Harrington is just an idiot like you said. And maybe they’ll be divorced by this time next year. Who knows, right?”

You sighed, leaning into Eddie and resting your head against him. “I don’t even know why I’m so upset. He was never going to ask me out anyway. No one wants a young single mom. Steve has his whole life to do what he wants, why would he be with someone who has so much baggage?”

“Hey, don’t say that about Audy,” Eddie scolds.

“No, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant,” you correct, “I was talking about myself. I’d never be with someone who didn’t accept Autumn. Even Steve Harrington. I just…I’m damaged goods, Eddie.”

Eddie could feel himself getting upset but didn’t want to make things worse right now, so he took a few breathes to steady himself. He said your name sternly, pulling your full attention to him.

“I don’t like it when you say things like that. It makes me feel like it’s my fault--”

“Eddie,” you stop him before he can get another word out, “You know that you didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve told you before that if I was going to get pregnant right out of high school with anyone that I wouldn’t want it to be with anyone else but you.”

Eddie knows this, and he feels the same. But it’s not what he wants.

Even though it was all a total accident, he hoped that night the two of you spent together was going to be the next step for both of you. And even though he was scared after you told him with tears in your eyes then that he had gotten you pregnant, he wished with all his might that it would bring the two of you closer together.

Which it did in a way. Obviously the two of you would be bound together for the rest of your lives, but it wasn’t in the way he wanted. You still were head over heels for Steve, and there was no way Eddie could even compare to the king.

“Yeah…I know.” He says somberly. Your brows pinch, making him worried he should have said something else.

Then your expression changed. You looked at him intensely for a moment, before your eyes became lidded and…were you leaning in?

Eddie thought fast, making a quick decision to put his hand over your mouth, stopping you in your tracks. Your eyes go wide as dinner plates, tears perching on your waterline as what hot embarrassment washes over you.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says, suddenly regretting everything. This could have been his chance and he was an idiot.

You pull his hand from his mouth, sitting in silence for a moment before you begin to laugh. It catches Eddie off guard and he freezes.

“Eddie, I should be the one apologizing,” you say with giggles. “I’m the one who was stupid enough to try and kiss her best friend for a second time. We both know what happened the first time and the last thing we need is history to repeat itself.”

Eddie still felt conflicted. Your tone wasn’t sitting right with him, like there was some level of self depreciation in your words.

After a moment you stop laughing. Your face warps into worry as you stand from the couch.

“I-I need to go—“

“No, wait!” Eddie stands to grab your wrist before you could run away. He pulls you into him and hugs you tightly to him. You stand still before slowly wrapping your arms around him, gripping his shirt in your hands.

“Listen, I know you’re going through a lot emotionally right now, but…I’m here for whatever you need. Even if…” He trails off for a moment, knowing that he’s just going to hurt himself if he lets you use him. But he can’t turn you away when you need him. He’d rather you take advantage of his feelings than run off to someone else who would hook up with you without second thought.

“Even if it means crossing a boundary that we’ve already crossed before.”

Eddie feels you press into him harder, face buried in his chest. And when you look up at him, Eddie thinks he could melt into a puddle and let you mold him to however you’d like.

“I don’t think I should make any rash decisions right now,” you say with a sniffle. “I think I just need to clear my head. Let myself rot in my own misery instead of dumping it all on you.”

“Or,” Eddie says with a smile, “you could rot with me. I rented some movies and some beers in the fridge that have your name on them. I think we have some leftover pizza still, too.”

Your smile was so bright it was comparable to the sun rising. There was nothing in the world that could keep him down as long as you were happy. Eddie probably would have dropped out of school after his second failure if you hadn’t simply smiled at him and told him that he would graduate next year, for sure. He probably only did because you smiled at him every time he got a good grade.

The way you hugged him for a long time after a report card with no F’s on it kept Eddie’s head in the zone that last school year. And, well, the way your body felt under his when he finally graduated…

Eddie shook his head, wracking his brain for anything to keep his mind from thinking about that night right now. There’s no way him getting a boner while you were still holding on to him so tight would be good.

“I think that sounds like a good idea,” you finally say after staring up at him for several beats. But Eddie caught the somber look in your eyes. It was going to take a lot of distracting to get you in a good head space.

“You know, I think we might still have some popcorn, too.”

After a few drinks, some weed, and a movie and a half later, Eddie finds himself waking up on his couch at some point after falling asleep. The bright, staticy screen causes him to squint his eyes, turning his head enough to bump his chin against the top of your head.

Eddie looks down at where you’re leaning into his side. He vaguely remembers wrapping an arm around you before the two of you had succumbed to sleep. It pains him to possibly wake you but the urge to pee is what startled him awake in the first place, so he does his best to untangle himself from you and sneaks to the bathroom.

On the way back to the couch, Eddie decided to stop in his room and grab a blanket for the two of you. But when he returns, he finds you sitting up and rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

“Hey,” you croak out, looking at him with squinted eyes.

“Hey,” he whispers back. “I brought us a blanket.”

You stretch before standing up from the couch. “I should probably head home, Eddie.”

“Sweetheart its,” he leans to check the time on the microwave, “3 in the morning.”

Your eyes go wide, hands running over your face. “It is? Fuuuuck.”

“Just stay,” Eddie says, walking over to you and wrapping you up in the blanket. You groan, feeling conflicted on if you should stay and sleep on Eddie’s couch or if you should brave the drive home.

“Hey, if you stay, you don’t have to drive all the way over here to get Fae in the morning.”

“Ugh, okay you got me,” you say, giving in. You sit back down on the couch and start to make yourself comfortable.

“Wait, you can sleep in my bed. Promise I don’t bite.”

That took less convincing as you pop back up, dragging the blankets behind you as you wobble to Eddie’s room. Eddie laughs as you plop into his bed, stealing one of his pillows to make yourself comfortable.

“Hey save some room for me,” he says, walking around to the other side to climb in. He lays next to you, adjusting in an obnoxious manner that has you giggling. You turn to face him and he does the same.

“I love you,” you say at the tail end of a giggle. It’s something said frequently between the two of you. Genuine as it’s spoken after years of friendship.

“Love you, too,” Eddie says with a sigh. Sleep soon takes you both over again. The only sounds that can be heard is the sound of the a/c doing its best to cool down the trailer.

Eddie felt himself waking once again, this time much more comfortably in his own bed. He yawned, shaking a bit as the feeling of waking overcame his body.

The sun peaking through the cracks of his curtains gave the room just enough light that he could see the room with a slight glow. Turning his head, he chanced to see if you were still laying with him. He had a dream that you’d left with Autumn and ran away with Steve that left a sick feeling in his stomach.

Much to his delight you were indeed still occupying the bed with him. Smiling wide as you looked at him, already awake where you lay.

“Mornin’,” he says in his morning voice, and your eyes flicker.

“Morning,” you squeak back. As Eddie turns to face you, your hand finds its way out from under the covers and reaches out towards him. Your fingers gently glide across his cheek, rubbing against the stubble as you push his hair out of his face.

The way you’re looking at him has Eddie’s tummy feeling funny, but in a different way from his dream. You’re looking at him the same way he looks at you.

Suddenly, you push yourself up on your arm, hand still on his cheek as you start to lean in once again. Eddie’s heart beats hard against his chest as you close the distance between the two of you, your lips meeting his in a soft kiss.

It lasts a few moments, and Eddie melts into it. It was a kiss like none he’s ever had before. Not even compared to the last time the two of you kissed before Autumn was born. This kiss felt like a hot cup of coffee on a cold winter morning, the warmth spreading to every part of his body as he drank you in.

When you pulled away, Eddie chased after you, not wanting it to end so soon unknowing if it would ever happen again. When you don’t kiss him again, his eyes finally open to meet yours. They’re bouncing everywhere, scanning his face as if looking for an answer written on his skin.

“Eddie…”

But Eddie doesn’t let you ponder much longer, hand snaking around your head to pull you into him once more. This time more feverishly, the heat palpable between the two of you.

You shift so that you can bury your hands in his hair, and Eddie takes advantage of this to move himself above you. Eddie kisses you into the pillow beneath you, long kisses turning into passionate smacking, poking the fire that was burning between you.

“Tell me to stop,” Eddie says as his lips begin to move down your cheek and to your neck. He says your name breathily, “Tell me now, because I won't be able to stop once this starts.”

“I-I can’t. I won’t,” you stutter, hands grabbing at his waist as he kisses and nips at your neck. Eddie breathes against you, body alight knowing that you wanted this as much as him.

“But,” you say, stopping him in his tracks. You give him a coy smile, nodding towards the door. “You better make it quick. You know she’ll wake up at any moment.”

Eddie huffs out a laugh, “Don’t gotta tell me twice. Better get to work then.”

Eddie suddenly lifts the blanket above the both of you and disappears underneath it. Soft kisses leave a trail from your knees to the apex between them. Eddie slips his fingers in the hem of the sleep pants he let you borrow, pulling them down with your panties in one quick motion. There was barely any light to see, so he decided to just dive in tongue first.

He ate you out like a man starved. Your thighs try hard to wrap around him as he works you up on his tongue, but his strong arms hold you open for him. Eddie groans at the way your fingers grip his hair, tugging just enough to burn so good against his scalp.

Once he added fingers, you had to cover your mouth with your hand to keep yourself quiet. It was like Eddie knew exactly what you liked, because not long after you were coming undone, riding his face as you did.

Eddie crawls up your body, head resting between your breasts as he pokes out from under the covers.

“Jesus, Eddie,” you pant, looking at him in awe.

“And that’s not even the best part,” he teases, making you roll your eyes at him. You grab his face and bring him closer to you, tasting yourself on his lips as you kiss him again.

Eddie rolls his hips subconsciously, and you can feel how hard he is as he grinds against you. You want to say you also forgot how big he was, but it’s something you didn’t want to admit you thought about often.

Your hand travels between you, fingers trailing against his skin as you reach the hem of his boxers. Slipping under it, you feel your way to his hard cock, taking it in your hand to pump him. He whines against your lips, hips moving faster in your grip. You watch with awe struck eyes as his beautiful face contorts in pleasure above you.

“Please,” he pants out as he fucks your hand, “Wanna be inside you. Can I?”

You nod silently, unbelievably turned on by your best friend for the second time now.

He works fast pulling his boxers off quickly, a loud thwaping coming from his cock smacking against his stomach after getting caught on the waistband. Your eyes go wide as you take in his size.

After almost 2 years you’re still shocked at what Eddie Munson is packing. Those dumb ass cheerleaders that picked the bone head jocks over him have no idea what they missed out on.

Eddie settled himself between your legs, spitting on his own cock to get it good and wet before rubbing it in your soaked folds. You had a moment of clarity, realizing that Eddie wasn’t wearing a condom. You opened your mouth to speak, but your words got caught up in a moan as Eddie pushed his way inside of you.

The stretch took your breath away. Eddie seesawed his way into your tight cunt, opening you up on his cock until he was balls deep inside of you. He placed his hands on either hip and started moving, holding you tight as he worked up his pace.

Every thrust felt like too much and not enough at the same time. The constant knocking against your sweet spot had you seeing stars quickly, still worked up from him eating you out. The pretty sounds that Eddie was making wasn’t helping either, but you still had enough mind to shush him so that he wouldn’t wake your daughter.

Eddie’s pace quickens, and he makes the fatal mistake of adding his thumb to the mix. It only throttles you to the edge for a second time this morning. It’s not much longer before your vision goes white, toes curling as your orgasm takes over. It's probably the hardest you’ve cum in a long time.

“Oh, fuck.”

You barely registered Eddie’s words, but you definitely felt the reason behind his curses. Eddie was cumming deep inside you, balls emptying into your pussy as you were still riding out your own orgasm.

In the moment it felt amazing, but the post orgasm bliss left you crashing as you realized the very real situation you were both in.

Eddie felt himself being pushed by you, taking him out of his own high as he stumbled back on his ass. As you open your mouth to speak, Eddie is hit with a wave of deja vu with every word.

“Did you fucking cum in me?” The words came out in slow motion and Eddie’s body broke out in cold sweat.

“I-I’m sorry. I was going to pull out, I just—“

“What? You forgot? Are you kidding me Eddie? Do you not remember what happened the last time?”

Right on cue, your daughter's whines could be heard from across the hall. You sigh, kicking the covers completely away from you and grabbing the pajama pants you had back on.

“Listen, I really am sorry,” Eddie says, looking at you with big, sad eyes. You groan, unable to stay mad at him when he looks at you like that.

“What are we going to do then, Eddie?” You ask him, walking out of his bedroom to get your daughter.

Eddie sits on the bed for a moment and thinks. He knows that you getting pregnant again while Autumn’s only and a half isn't ideal. Not that you being pregnant is ideal anyway, but honestly Eddie wouldn’t be mad about it.

He was so head over heels for both you and Autumn that he doesn’t hate the idea of another person to love is the worst thing. But he’s also not the one doing all the hard work. And if it wasn’t obvious the first time that having a kid wouldn’t fix any problems, then having a second would probably not make much of a difference in your feelings towards him.

The door opens again and Eddie watches as you enter with a squealing toddler on your hip, clearly happy to see both mommy and daddy.

“Morning, sweet girl,” Eddie cooes, scooping his baby up and smothering her with kisses, sending Autumn into a fit of giggles.

“I went ahead and changed her. If you want to dress her I’ll make breakfast.”

Eddie gave you a quick salute as you went to the kitchen, leaving him and your mini me to get ready for the day. It took a lot of wrestling but he was able to get the little one dressed, including hair done, and looking presentable for the day.

Fixing her up in her highchair, Eddie sat at the small kitchen table and breathed a sigh of relief. You shook your head at his theatrics, setting breakfast down for the both of them.

“Hey, I was thinking,” Eddie said, spooning some applesauce into Autumn’s mouth. “After we eat, why don’t I follow you to the pharmacy and we can pick you up a Plan B?”

You quirk an eyebrow in amusement. “You have Plan B money this time?”

“Ha ha,” Eddie laughs dryly at your reference to the last time you had sex, the both of you freaking out over having no money. Thankfully Eddie was able to get a good job at Hawkins Auto Body when you got pregnant. He makes pretty good money now considering he was able to get his own trailer. Money is still tight, but he can manage.

“Fine, better eat up then, or else you’re gonna have two mouths to feed instead of one.”

Eddie looks at your daughter, spitting image of him, besides your nose, and smiles. Maybe now isn’t the right time, but…maybe one day.

[folkloresthings]

❛ HEAVEN KNOWS ❜ ❨ lando norris x singer!reader ❩

📻 track three: you’re just a boy (and i’m kinda the man)

in which the they were the perfect couple, until they weren’t. or in which we take a look back into what made heaven itself fall apart.

… OCTOBER 2023

INSTAGRAM. october second.

liked by irisapatow, rachelzegler and 810,673 more

yourusername time for another track! 🤡 i first started writing you're just a boy (and i'm kinda the man) after listening non-stop to taylor swift and shania twain and i decided what i really needed was to take those feelings and make a female power song of my own. so i wrote one! it helped me to remember that losing the love of a man does not make you any less of a person, and i hope it can do the same for others. oh, and it's also a bop.

view all 499,020 comments

user QUEEN

taylorswift you're kinda making me feel like... i'm the man 💪👸

user i fear this will tear lando's ego to shreds

⤷ user it doesn't feel fair on him, like he doesn't get to tell his side of the story

⤷ user girl there's definitely a reason he's kept quiet 😭

lissiemackintosh soooo excited for this one!!!! my new karaoke song?

⤷ yourusername come at do it at the concerts

⤷ lissiemackintosh i like your fans too much to do that to them

user CLOWN LANDO ERA

REWIND... OCTOBER 2022

"guess what, guess what!"

lando was mid-game when you rushed into the living room, glancing up from the television when you bound into view. he slips back one side of his headphones, eyes following suit a few moments later once the screen is paused.

“what?”

“guess!”

lando sighs, but a smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth. “lewis finally retired?”

“no, silly.” scoffing, you slap at his arm and plonk down next to him on the couch. “management just called — i’ve been asked if i want to do a world stadium tour. the bowl, wembley, madison square garden!”

lando’s mouth fell open in slight shock, your excitement obviously contagious as his eyes light up. in a split second he wraps his arms around you and hugs you tightly.

“holy shit, babe,” he murmurs, squeezing your waist.

“i know,” you squeal quietly, muffled against his shoulder. “they just need to set up the next album release and then announce the dates.”

behind your embrace, the cogs of lando’s head start to turn and calculate the information. sitting back, he looks at you with confusion set in his brow.

“when would that be?” he asks, head tilted.

you shrug, not noticing his growing resentment of the news. “depends. they want the album done for late summer, so that means an autumn release. so probably in the new year.”

“the second half of the season?”

lando’s cold tone makes you smile, almost uncomfortably, waiting for his former excitement to return. uneasily, you nod.

“well, yeah, but—”

“i thought you said you were going to come to all the races, since you’ve only been to monaco and silverstone this season?” he cuts you off. you catch the frustration in his eyes like a hawk, shifting off of his lap before it bubbles over. “you’re not going to be able to do that if you’re on tour.”

“that’s not true,” you try and reason, hopeful that your calm tone might balance his. “there’s texas and vegas. besides, i don’t even know what dates i’ll have shows yet, i could fly in for race days.”

lando shakes his head, pushing himself from the couch cushions and onto his feet. “that’s not the point. you promised you’d be there for me this season. i actually have a chance for once, and you don’t even care.”

the dismissive tone that spits off his tongue makes you flinch, a heavy frown falling around your cheeks. “what am i supposed to do? turn down my biggest tour yet to come watch you race every single week?”

“yes!” lando exclaims, turning sharply. “that’s what good girlfriends do — look at kika and lily!”

anger pricks at your eyes and throat, swallowing hard to keep it at bay. “you haven’t been to one of my shows in months. you don’t even have time to listen to demos when i ask you to. there are two of us in this relationship, lando. it isn’t always about you.”

you see his defence ready behind his lips but you’re quicker, ready before he can speak.

“i went to every single race last season,” you tell him. your tone is calm, steady — making the words even more intense. “every one. i have been your biggest fan since day one. so don’t ever, ever, say i’m being selfish.”

lost for words, lando stares at you. only because he knows it’s true does he halt his argument there, turning and storming into the bedroom to preserve some dignity. you stare at the slamming door and wonder how he can watch on so easily as you slip through his fingers, and not want to do anything at all?

INSTAGRAM. november twenty—fourth.

liked by danielricciardo, maxfewtrell and 928,244 others

yourusername always your #1 fan (even when you dnf) 🫶

view all 630,737 comments

carlossainz55 did he get a lollipop for being a good patient?

⤷ yourusername and a sticker 😄😄

user poor lando

landonorris my favourite nurse ❤️

user they’re sooooo cute

user that crash looked bad

yourusername dw guys i’m giving him lots of kisses and rubs better !!!!!

⤷ landonorris not as many as i’d like 😏

⤷ yourusername you’ve got a hello kitty plaster on your head you cannot be seductive right now

"oh, shit."

the fight that dreaded evening had hung over both you and lando for weeks, both of you much too stubborn to admit to any wrongdoing or, god forbid, apologise. but you carried on. if anything it was worse than not speaking. it was like nothing had happened, as if the conversation never even happened, as long as neither one of you mentioned it. still, there was a tension holding you at arms length from each other.

so to not bring up the same argument again, you followed lando to the next few races. come vegas, you had given yourself so much time to think about things and the way lando had handled it all that your mind was screaming at you to leave. to book a flight home, pack up your stuff and go. because how much more of this could you take? you weren't the trophy girlfriend, the wag whose only job was to look pretty beside her accomplished boyfriend.

you would do it after vegas, you decided. there was a few days off; time for you to talk to lando and explain your feelings, before walking out with your head held high just in time for the next race. then, the worst happened.

chatting idly to lily, the race only just beginning, you almost missed it. for a moment, you thought it was oscar spinning out. the bright orange sparks masked which number was painted onto the car, spinning drastically until the nose of the vehicle slammed into the barriers. lily grasped your arm, her sympathetic eyes making you look twice. number four, lando.

in a daze, you followed the one of the marshalls through the busy paddock until you reached the ambulance area. he had already been loaded in, paramedics and mclaren employees surrounding him. there wasn't enough room, they needed to go now.

"hop in, i'll drive you," charlotte's gentle voice appeared beside you, guiding you into the car as the ambulance hurried off. "they said he's probably fine, they just want to do the usual checks."

you nod, trusting her. you could always trust charlotte, right?

after what felt like hours, you arrived to the hospital and didn't think twice about elbowing every single person out of your way until you reached lando's room. he was laid still on the bed, eyes watching the small television in the corner. his leg was strapped up, an iv stuck into his arm, various bruises littering his skin and face. he looked up when he heard you, a crooked smile playing on his lips.

"it looks worse than it is," he assured you, noticing the panic in your eyes straight away. you breathe out some of the relief, the rest coming in a sudden pool of tears. "hey - hey, c'mere."

lando outstretches the arm that doesn't hurt like a bitch, ushering you to his side. you don't hesitate, lip wobbling as you hurry over and perch yourself on the side of the bed. tucked into his shoulder, you nuzzle as closely as you can without hurting him.

"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry," you mumble, and you both know just what you're apologising for. what was a stupid fight worth when chalked up to all of this?

"me too," lando replies quietly, pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of your head.

sitting back, you look over his face. a small scratch from the helmet, just above his cheekbone. his eyes are drooping, tired from the impact and the drugs. you sniffle and smile sadly, thumb brushing over the wound.

"i'm going to move the tour," you tell him, and note that he doesn't protest. "if i'm on the other side of the world and something happens, i—”

lando shakes his head, cutting you off with a kiss. "nothing's going to happen. i'm still in one piece, aren't i?"

you hesitate, then nod, letting him shift over so you can lay next to him. resting your head on his chest, both of you quietly watching the rest of the race, you feel your head spin. maybe he had been losing you, but could you survive losing him?

writers note: we're back baby. lando count yr days my man

taglist: @openthenyoor01 @racingheartsworld @celestialend @cha-hot @gr1mes-cc @bingussthirdtoe @destinyg237 @theonottsbxtch @allywthsr @imsorare @youdontknowmeshh @bellewintersroe @orangetreekid

[sinofwriting]

lover - Oscar Piastri

Words: 2,958 Summary: Press and fans find out during the Australian GP that Oscar isn’t single, in fact he is married. The more troubling part is the rest of the grid finding that out as well. Note(s)/Warning(s): Some drivers aren’t portrayed greatly in this, not because I don’t love them, but because they're a bit dumb and stupid. Some interesting thoughts about Lando and Max and Mclaren and Red Bull. Some angst. Logan is protective of Oscar and Oscar’s wife (his self proclaimed little sister). Slight NSFW at the end. Once again stating that I love all the drivers mentioned and written in this fic. (If anyone is interested in knowing more about my thoughts on the whole Lando, Mclaren, Max, Red Bull thing, send me an ask.)

Masterlist | Support Me! | lover verse

“Hey, Apples.” Oscar greets when he picks up the phone. “Os,” He frowns, stopping in his steps, ignoring how Lando is trying to wave him over for something. “What’s wrong?” She sighs, “You know how I said I wouldn’t get lost?” He breathes a sigh of relief that it's nothing serious, smiling again. “Lando’s trying to get my attention for something, but I’ll text Logan to get you. That okay?” “Yeah. I’ve missed our American boy.” Oscar scoffs, “you’ve missed him. I’ve had to deal with him.” She laughs, “Uh huh. I’ll let you go, but have fun talking to Lando. I’ll see you later, Os.” “Later, Apples.”

Ending the call, he quickly messages Logan. The message brief and he’s not surprised when the American driver sends back quickly a simple thumbs up.

“What’s up, Lando?” He asks, when he finally gets close enough to his teammate. “You’re married?” Oscar blinks at the British driver. This is what Lando had been waving him over for? Something he already knew. “Yeah. Have been.” His eyebrows press together. “Are you alright? Hit your head or something?” “No!” Lando shrieks, making him jump back. “You’re married. When did that happen?”

His shriek and loud words catch a few other drivers' attention and before Oscar can process it, he has Charles, George, Checo, Mick, and Lance also surrounding him, asking him if he’s really married.

The repeated question has him blinking widely, wondering if there’s something in the air that’s making them all have memory loss.

“Yes, I’m married. Why are you guys acting like this is new news?” “Non.” Charles says, eyes wide. “You can’t be married. You are a baby. Younger than Arthur.” He rolls his eyes at the words. “Fuck off, mate. I’m not a baby.” Charles pouts. “But you are so young to be married.” Oscar’s nose wrinkles at the words, lips pressing together. “Right.” He nods, holding back what he wants to say. “I don't know what to tell you guys. I’m married and I thought you guys knew.” George scoffs, “none of us had any idea. And twitter is going crazy, mate.” “What do you mean twitter? I’ve been married since I was eighteen. This isn’t a new thing.” “Eighteen!” Oscar nearly throws his hands in the air. “How did not one of you know? It’s public knowledge. Like all marriages.” He doesn’t mention the fact that he has definitely mentioned his wife in infront of all the drivers, they all obviously had trouble listening. Lando flushes, “I mean, you don’t really talk about yourself. So, I guess it just never got brought up?” He offers, though it feels a little weak and Lando can’t help but wonder if Oscar had mentioned it but he had just thought that it was a joke or had been tuning him out because it wasn’t team or race related.

“Late congratulations then Oscar. She is here, no?” Checo says. Oscar smiles at the older driver. It had felt odd that he had joined the rest of them, but it was clear he had joined because of the mention of another driver having a wife. They were few and far between. “Yeah, first race weekend this season.” “Give her my congratulations as well.” “I will.” He tells the older driver, watching as he leaves before turning his attention back to the other five.

“I’m private, but I’m not that private, you guys.” He says, and before one of them can say anything an American voice is speaking up from behind him. “Private about what?”

Logan eyes the five drivers surrounding Oscar, nearly cornering him. The girl next to him breath catches a little at the sight and he squeezes her a bit closer before dropping his arm from around her shoulder.

“Everything alright?” He asks, no one having answered his previous question. Oscar turns his head to throw him a grateful look before completely turning around seeing the girl beside him, a smile blooming across his face. “Logan find you okay?” He can see from the corner of his eye, her nod shyly, fidgeting under the stares of five complete strangers and Logan gives the girl he considers a little sister a light push to Oscar. Knowing that they’ll both feel better with some contact.

Logan turns his head to face her when she gives a light tug to his shirt and he easily tilts his head a little downwards to receive the kiss on the cheek she gives as silent thanks, trying not to smirk at the wide eyed looks the other drivers are giving him. He turns his head back to face them, when she joins Oscar, the youngest driver on the grid, easily wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close, though keeping her slightly tucked behind him.

“No one knew I was married.” Oscar tells him, answering his question from before. Logan’s eyebrows furrow. “What? It’s public knowledge.” He shrugs, “twitter is apparently going nuts. No one knew.” He then nods his head towards the five drivers in front of them. “Including other drivers.” He scoffs, “that’s a joke right?” None of them say anything and Logan can feel a simmer of anger starting in his gut. “Seriously. I’ve heard him mention her when all the drivers were around. Mark made a joke at the first race about him being married.”

No one of them say anything to that and Logan can feel his eyes narrow seeing Lando and George exchange a quick look.

It wasn’t necessarily surprising to hear that people on twitter were freaking out about it. It wasn’t something that first came up when you searched Oscar Piastri. But for not one of the drivers to know? Especially after hearing Oscar mention her? Mark make a joke about it? It rubbed him the wrong way.

He wondered if it was because when they all did a quick google on Oscar nothing about him being married came up. A combination of money buying a little privacy, though not enough to bury or hide a public marriage, and how private Oscar was as a person. He didn’t like talking about himself, was a little hard to make friends with unless effort was really put in or you were around him often enough. He also doubted that any of the drivers had really tried to get to know him due to the whole McLaren thing and the Alpine drama of last year. They only knew so much about Logan because everything was online about him, a problem with too much money, and he was willing to play into the whole about himself American persona.

It also makes him wonder if Oscar had been lying when he said that Lando and him were getting along. It was still early days, but for Lando not to know that Oscar was married? It spelled something that Logan didn’t like and the thought of Max not being the only teammate killer crosses his mind before he can stop it and he shakes his head. It was far too early for that and unfair to both Max and Lando. They weren’t the true issues or at least at the moment in Logan’s eyes Max wasn’t, their teams were.

Logan shakes his head at the silence from the other drivers still. He didn’t know what to say. Other than he wanted to tell them all to get their ears fucking checked. But he holds his tongue.

“Well now you guys know.” He tells them after another moment of silence. “This is Y/N, Oscar’s wife. And you already know all these guys.” She nods, giving them a small wave that Lance and Mick return before quickly walking away with quiet apologies. “You are a baby as well.” Charles says, eyes widening right after, clearly not having meant to say that. She looks at Oscar and then Logan. “I thought you guys said that Arthur was worse than him.” Logan laughs at the way Charles looks offended, mouth open in shock. “Charles has his moments.” Feeling a slight tug to his hoodie, Oscar gives a nod to his teammate and the other two drivers. “We have to get going. Talk to you tomorrow.” He tells them, before stepping away, knowing that Logan is following just barely not on their heels.

Logan and her both hang outside of the McLaren headquarters for the weekend, waiting for Oscar to come back from a quick talk with his race engineer.

“Lando.” She begins and she can feel Logan’s full attention on her. “Do I need to worry?” “Everyone likes him. He’s likable.” He tells her, trying to ignore what she’s getting at. Doesn’t want to think about the thought that popped into his head barely fifteen minutes ago. “Logan,” Her voice is a little harsh. “Do I need to worry about Oscar being teammates with him? We all saw what happened with Daniel at least with what the media said. And I’m grateful that McLaren gave Oscar one of his dreams. But do I need to worry that they will ruin him for Lando?” He can’t make his eyes meet hers, can’t when he can’t give her a sure answer. “I don’t know. Lando to McLaren is like Charles to Ferrari nearly, just not as predestined, I guess.” The words are sour sounding. “He still has good relationships with Daniel and Carlos.” “Max is called a teammate killer and he’s got a great relationship with Daniel. A fair one with Alex according to your texts. And we all know that it’s not him, but Red Bull that’s the killer.” He can’t help but glance around despite their whispers, wincing as she repeats his thought from earlier of Lando being perceived as a teammate killer. This really wasn’t the place to have this conversation, but he understood her need for some sort of answer. “I don’t know.” He repeats. “It’s still early. I want to say that McLaren will be fair to Oscar and treat him well, won’t treat him like a second class driver, but after them breaking a contract with Daniel.” He swallows harshly. “I don’t know.” And he hates that.

Getting into Formula 1, getting the chance that nearly all drivers dreamed of but only some got was supposed to be fun. Sure there was always going to be pressure and stress, but no one had warned him about the politics of it all.

“Okay,” she tells him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug and he can’t help but rest his head on her shoulder. Letting her bear his weight for a moment. “It’ll be okay Logan. And thank you.” “Of course.” He mumbles. And suddenly there’s another set of arms wrapping around him and her. He only doesn’t move or lift his head because he knows those arms and there’s an Australian accent in his ears.

“You alright, Logan?” He lifts his head to nod, not wanting to hurt her. “Yeah, just stress.” He squeezes them both a little tighter. “Can say that again.” Logan smirks, beginning to open his mouth but then a finger is poking between his ribs and he’s jumping out of the hug, rubbing at the spot with a pout. “Hey!” She shakes her head at him, pressing closer to Oscar as he presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Don’t get cheeky. You still coming to dinner with us?” Logan scoffs, “Of course. I’m not missing out on seeing Nicole and Chris.” “My parents will be there as well.” Logan throws his hands in the air, starting to walk backwards. “Why are we still here then?”

“Still missed him?” Oscar asks her as they start to follow him. She laughs at the dry but teasing tone. “Of course. He’s a great older brother.” “He is, isn’t he?” He has a put on suffering face, but there’s a fondness in his eyes as he looks ahead to where Logan is. “He is.”

“Is everything alright?” He asks, slowing their pace a bit more. She hesitates. “We’ll talk about it after dinner, but it should be.” His brows furrow at the response and he can’t help but squeeze her closer. “Are you okay?” “I’m all good, Os. Just worrying.” “Promise?” “Promise.”

—

“You’re worried.” He brings up nearly five hours later as they soak in the bath together, her back to his chest, his fingers interlaced, hands resting on her stomach and her hands resting on top of his. He can feel her breathing stutter and his heart clenches inside of his chest at the reaction. She had always been a bit of a worrier. He wasn’t exactly sure where she got it from, no siblings to inherit the trait from and her parents were fairly laid back. But this seemed different, more serious. “I had some thoughts about McLaren. I needed to talk to Logan about them. He had some of the same ones.” “Like?” She pauses, lips pressing together for a moment. “McLaren gave you your dream.” “One of my dreams.” He corrects her, picking up her left hand and pressing a kiss to her ring finger. Her wedding band and ring sitting on the bathroom counter instead of being where they belong. “One of your dreams.” She corrects. “They clearly favor Lando.” His hand and hers settling back where they were. “Lando’s an experienced driver, Apples.” he lets out a small laugh. “It’s only my first season. I’m a rookie.” “Oscar,” she turns slightly to look at him. “Daniel was a more experienced driver. He even got them their first win in how many years and look what they did to him?” He winces at the reminder. It would always slightly haunt him that the only reason he had a seat at McLaren is because they tossed Daniel like trash practically. Didn’t sit right with him and suddenly the solemness on her and Logan’s faces earlier made sense. “You two think they’ll do the same to me?��� “I think that as long as Lando gives them some sort of positive result he’ll always be their number one. Even if you perform better.” He swallows at the words, because fuck it was looking like that wasn’t it?

Lando was a great driver, amazing, Oscar was thrilled to get to be his teammate and learn from him. But Daniel had pulled results from the McLaren, even if he hadn’t gotten as much as Lando did from it last season. It made no sense to get rid of an experienced driver or push him aside for a younger driver that would have years more left on the grid. And as he sits thinking about it, he’s reminded of how much last season McLaren put Lando first over Daniel, despite Daniel having a better chance or opportunity. Remembers some of the races he attended seeing Daniel’s frustrated, tired face as he got out of the car.

“You think Lando’s going to get called a teammate killer?” He knew her mind, knew it wasn’t a far stretch considering how Carlos was perceived at Ferrari and how Daniel wasn’t even racing this season. “I think that if people are willing to call Max one when Red Bull is clearly the problem, it’s a miracle that he hasn’t been called it already.” “Fuck.” He whispers, dropping his head to rest it on her shoulder. “I’m sorry.” She whispers and he lifts his head back up. “Don’t. We’re a team. This would have driven you mad keeping it to yourself.” It was a lot, but he was thankful it was being brought up now. Gave him more time. And god he’d have to bring it up with Mark. He could only imagine that the man would want to talk to her. Mark had always appreciated her thoughts and knew that they were a team. He didn’t just bring things to him, but to her as well.

“Charles doesn’t like me, I think.” Oscar can’t help but laugh. The tension that had filled the bathroom, leaving. “You did say that he was worse than Arthur.” “In that moment he was.” She defends and he presses a kiss to her cheek, still laughing. “Once he gets over being told he’s worse than Arthur, he’ll like you just fine.” “Think so?” “Know so.” He corrects. “Not many people dislike you, Apples.” “But you like me best.” She says, smiling. “Like you best and love you best. Love you so much.” He murmurs before pressing a series of kisses to her cheek making her giggle and then squealing when he manhandles her until she’s facing him, straddling him.

“Hi, Apples.” She beams at him and he can’t help but swallow at the brightness of her eyes. “Hi, Os.” “You ready for bed?” She lets out a little hum, wiggling her hips and his hands grasp at her waist, the lust that had started to simmer inside of him when he had turned her around growing at the pressure against his dick. “You have a race tomorrow.” “Is that a no?” “We haven’t had sex during a race weekend in over a year now. Don’t want you to be tired tomorrow.” “I’ll be alright.” He tells her, pressing her down a bit and can see the way her eyes dilate at the feeling of him growing hard underneath her. “Might even make me place higher.” “Well, only if you think it’ll make you place higher.” She teases and he can’t help but lean forward and kiss her.

She sighs into it, pressing closer to him, chests touching as he bites gently at her lip. “I’ve missed you.” She breathes when they separate, her eyes on the slight flushed face of her husband. “I’ve missed you too.”

---

Tagging: @ireadthensuetheauthors @copper-boom @lpab @gemofthenight @peachiicherries

[sleepyangelkami]

PLAY PRETEND j.todd

 ☆ WORD COUNT - 3.1K

JASON TODD X FEM!READER

 ☆ SUMMARY - jason needs someone to act as his girlfriend to the gala, which you decide to go along with but jealousy and alcohol get the better of you leading to one too many drunken confessions.

 ☆ WARNINGS - drinking, alcohol, bad descriptions of being drunk, jealousy, angst, pining, manipulation, skinny love, crying, slight panic attack, use of good girl (non-sexual), comfort, petnames, use of y/n, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷

you stood with your back against the drinks table, sighing through your pouted lips as you glanced around the room, hoping for some type of entertainment to catch your eye. you didn't even wish to be here, in fact, you would have done just about anything to be snuggled up in your bed reading a book right about now.

jason was the reason you were here in the first place and yet, he was nowhere to be seen.

you’d heard of the wayne gala’s a lot before, it wasn’t exactly new to you. you’d been to a couple of them yourself too but there was a reason you didn’t come to them often and one could guess it was because this is how it always ended, you sat up against the drinks table with expensive alcohol swirling in your expensive glass and dressed in your expensive dress. it was so… not you.

you were the type of girl that dragged your friends to junk yards and bought the cheapest clothes that you saw hidden in thrift stores. 

not the type of girl that attended wayne gala’s. 

and yet, here you stood all because you were so helplessly smitten with your all time best friend, jason todd, the son of bruce wayne, the redhood, the gentleman, the many, many things. he’d asked you to go to the wayne gala’s with him before, offering it up yet you always politely declined, stating it wasn’t your scene but this time was simply different.

you’d sat up on your bed, flicking through your magazines while jason rambled on as he began tearing his tie from around his throat. it was late, too late but jason never did care for the time when it came to seeing you.

you swallowed, nodding along and humming. it was just so late and you’d only woken up so your mind was all fuzzy and for some reason you couldn’t stop thinking about how nice some grapes would taste right about now. “are you listening to me?” the question from jason was rhetorical but you’d be lying if you said your undivided attention as on him. “i’m a dead man!” 

“it’s not that big of a deal.” you uttered, closing your magazine and sighing, you really wanted some grapes. “really, you’re only stressing yourself out. you’re an… attractive guy, i’m sure you’ll get a girlfriend between now and the next gala.”

“but thats the thing… i don’t want a girlfriend!” sheesh, your head was too clouded for his yelling. “i shouldn’t have opened my mouth.”

you could only shrug your shoulders, nodding. “true.”

he took a seat on the pink quilts that surrounded your bed, his head falling into his hands and groaning. “you’re not helping.” 

jason had made the idiotic choice of lying to bruce when asked if he had a girlfriend. he was just so tired of him asking and asking and asking so he decided to lie, telling him that he did in fact have a girlfriend and that they’d been together for quite a while now, he’d just been saving the announcement for a more special day.

so what did bruce do? announce it at his next gala, stating that jason would surely be bringing her along for the next.

and jason almost choked on his bourbon. 

he was dressed in his suit from before, his hair all messed and teased while his clothes just looked out of it, his shirt untucked, his jacket discarded on the ground and he had pulled the tie from his neck, unbuttoning the first two or three buttons, he felt like he was going to collapse.

“i’m sorry.” you spoke softly, feeling sympathetic for your ‘best friend’. you turned to him, clad in your pretty pink pijama’s and softening your gaze on him. “how can i help?” 

the way you looked at him should have told him everything. what your gaze should have said was that you were in love with him, you had been since the very first day you’d laid your eyes on him, gaze never leaving and your jaw falling slack. okay, perhaps you hadn’t loved him during your first encounter but there was definitely… something, something that told you this wasn’t just any boy but he was something much much more.

it should have told him a lot of things, should have spilled your feelings right then and there but jason was as oblivious as they come, he hadn’t a notion of what your gaze meant. in fact, he blamed the diluted pupils on the fact that he’d woken you up, banging on your door at all hours of the night. 

“you could help in one way but… nevermind, it’s stupid.” shaking his head and turning away. the master of manipulation.

and you looked almost concerned then, the victim of that very manipulation. “no, what is it? i wanna help.” 

and he knew you did, it’s why he said anything in the first place. sweet old you, always willing to do anything he said, just to please him.

“you could… you know, pretend to be my girlfriend, it would just be for the night, for the gala. you know, to get everyone off my back?” his eyes stared back at you, big and hopeful.

how could you, in your right mind, say no when you were so utterly full of love for the boy. “wha… i don’t even have a dress.” an excuse, a terrible one because something in you was downright shocked. you? of all people? first, you could barely go to that gala as it was let alone pretend to be his girlfriend.

besides, you began to get a little worried. perhaps you’d like the pretend game a little too much. 

“i’ll buy you a dress.” he insisted almost instantly. lord knew he had the money.

but you frowned a little at that. “i’m not a charity case, jay…” sure, your apartment was a little small but it was homely, it was you. though you were sure it didn’t much live up to jasons standards.

“not a charity case, i know.” he came a little closer, pressing his hand against your thigh and rubbing it gently. “i just want you to feel your best for the night, angel, it’s just one night.” 

you bit down on your lip, knowing you’d regret it. “fine.” 

but for jason, you’d face just about any guilt. 

and after his many thank you’s and squishing hugs that had your face smushed against your chest you finally sighed out. “I can’t believe i’m doing this for you.” sending him a playful glare though there was a pit in your stomach.

“please.” he couldn’t help but smirk. “you love me.” 

and you couldn’t possibly tear your eyes away from him. without playfulness or a smile, you spoke the words, “I’d have to be a fool.” before quickly shaking your head and changing the subject. “you have to wear a pink tie to match my dress.” 

he had the audacity to laugh in your face. “I will not.” 

“yes you will.” you folded your arms over your chest. “you will or i’m not going.” 

jason couldn’t help but shake his head with a chuckle. “fine.” 

“fine.” you repeated. “now go get me grapes from the fridge.” 

brat. 

you’d been announced as his girlfriend, he’d held your waist for the entire night, grinned and beamed over at you as his brothers watched sceptically. 

now, you sat alone at a table, downing what felt like your hundredth glass.

you didn’t drink often so you gave yourself a little lean for this time, seeing as you never did it, now was your chance to get absolutely… shitfaced, did damian call it? 

but it wasn’t as if you didn’t have a good reason. 

jason, your best friend, your first and last love, was standing speaking to some blonde girl, she was giggling away, obviously pleased with herself as if she didn’t have a lipgloss smudge on her teeth. and you? you couldn’t have been more ashamed with yourself. 

your head was placed on your arm that was slinked across the white tablecloth, just watching the pair as the alcohol swirled in your cup. you wondered how you went from eating the white grapes to downing the white wine in your hands.

then your eyes glanced back to jason, in his pretty pink tie, and it all made sense. 

he was your best friend, you had no right to be jealous, no reason to be but for some reason you thought by him bringing you here, introducing you as his girlfriend meant something. 

but it was all just play pretend. 

you knew this, you knew it as well as anyone and yet you still couldn’t help but feel so utterly… hurt.

your eyes burned but you weren’t crying, your throat burned but that was only because of the alcohol that didn’t even taste nice.

they should really have grapejuice here, the non-alcoholic kind. 

it was dick grayson who’d laid his hands on your shoulders that adverted your gaze from jason. your pupils were wide, the rims of your eyes red though you weren’t sure if that was due to the alcohol or the fact that you were holding your own tears at bay. 

“hey, y/n, how you feeling?” his tone was soft, understanding. he really was one of your best friends. he was crouched down to your level as you sat in the chair.

you glanced down to the cup in your hands. “think ‘m drunk, dickie.” because suddenly the entire room was spinning. 

“yeah.” he pressed his lips into a thin line. “think maybe you’re done for tonight, huh?” taking the glass from your hands before you could so much as protest.

with heavy eyes and an even heavier heart, you nodded your head. “think ‘m… ‘m gonna go home.” home was where your bed is, they say. but saying you were going home and directing it towards your house didn’t even sound right. home was that curly, raven haired boy with a pretty smile.

“don’t go home.” his eyes glanced towards jason, sighing. “don’t go before you’ve talked to him.” 

dick was one of your best friends. with that being said, he knew everything about you down to where your birthmarks were, that meant he knew all about these hidden feelings for your supposed best friend jason todd, his dear little brother. 

but you could only shake your head. even thinking about jason right now was enough to make you queasy. “no, he’s talkin’ to blondie.” blondie, the pretty girl who you couldn’t even judge if you wanted to. she had a dark black dress on, she was much taller than you, large heels and standing with her shoulders drawn back, obviously much more confident too. 

was she everything that you lacked? 

as if summoning him, you could feel the dark shadow that loomed over you, even with your head pressed against that damned tabelcloth, even that was expensive. 

“is she alright?” 

that voice, that pretty, deep, and almost mysterious voice yet as perplexing as it was, you were sure that you’d recognise that voice amiss any crowd, through any drink that entered your system. jason still roamed your mind, always and when his voice was spoken, you were sure to hear it. 

“she’s drunk.” dick answered for you, as though you weren’t sitting right next to him. “i think you should bring her upstairs, get her cleaned up and put to bed.” dick was doing you a favour in the long run, even if it didn’t feel like it.

but your head had finally risen from the table, big doey eyes staring up at the two large men above you. “n-no i can… i can bring myself home.” your words slurring.

jason couldn’t help but laugh down at you, glossy lips turned into a pout. “yeah, cause i’d let you ride your little bicycle through gotham alone, at this hour of the night, in the state that you’re in.” of course, you were the only one in the entire world that would ride one of those pretty pink bikes with a woven basket in gotham. “come on, let me put you to bed.” 

you don’t remember bidding goodbye to dick but you were sure you had. you didn’t remember moving from the table to the door, practically being pushed by jason. however, you did vaguely remember uttering the words, “you need’a say g’night to blondie.” to which he responded with. “who?” 

that confused you because he genuinely seemed confused, as though he hadn’t even remembered the colour of the hair belonging to the girl he’d just spoken to. had he really been that uninterested or was he just putting on a show?

you did remember, however, sitting on the cold tiles of jason’s bathroom floor after he’d undressed you, stripping you to your undergarments and placing a long tee over you. you remembered the way his hands gently did it, soothing you as he went, uttering soft words and assuring you that it was okay.

in no way did he make anything sexual, instead, he was merely caring for his ‘best friend’. 

you remembered the way the tears began rolling down your cheeks as you dry sobbed pathetically, the drink getting the better of you.

jason had been tending to your face, a cotton pad covered in micellar water gently cleansing your skin, softly dancing it across the makeup that covered your face and wiping it clean. he wasn’t used to taking off makeup, obviously, so this was a little difficult for him. but he got used to it.

it wasn’t the first time he’d done it for you.

only difference was this time he was comforting your cries at the same time. “shh, shh, c’mon, tell me wh’s the matter, baby?” all soft and gentle with you as you couldn’t do anything but let the liquidy tears fall down your face, trying to avoid his gaze. “c’mon, tell jay wh’s wrong so he can fix it.” 

but how were you to tell him that the reason you were crying was because you loved him? 

you couldn’t, so instead you opted for shaking your head, words practically heaving out of you as your breaths became laboured and uneven. 

jason could tell where this was going. 

he’d comforted you on multiple occasions, some worse than others but that didn’t change the fact that he knew you from the inside and out. “hey, hey, breathe, pretty girl, breathe.” 

he’d taken your head in the palm of his hand, gently placing it against his chest so that you could feel the way his own chest rose and fell and hear the way his heart beated against his ribcage. he knew this was a good thing to do when it came to you, this was a reminder that he was alive and by the way you could hear and feel it too, surely, you were alive as well. 

it was grounding. 

“in with me, c’mon, angel.” breathing in and you followed, trying to take as much air into your lungs as you possibly could. “‘n out, good girl.” he praised, hearing the shaky breath that you still let out.

when your breathing had regulated back to normal, there were still tears streaming down your face and you couldn’t help but cry and whimper pathetically. you could blame the alcohol or you could blame the fact that you’d gotten so caught up in play pretend that you’d forgotten yourself, who you were and what you really meant to jason. 

“s-shouldn’t have come.” you muttered through your desperate cries. “shouldn’t have come here.” while the messy tears coated your perfect skin. 

it broke jason’s heart. you were his bubbly girl, always grinning and smiling, laughing at jokes you didn’t understand, grinning at people you didn’t even particularly like, you were nothing but good. you were gold, if the colour was a person, it was you. your heart was as big as a heart could get yet you know what they say, the bigger the person, the harder they fall.

and sometimes your poor golden heart simply couldn’t take the mean world. 

“what?” suddenly, his own heart began to shatter. he suddenly felt as though it was his fault. you were acting like this because you didn’t want to be here, because either something had happened or simply you were too overstimulated due to the gala itself (poor oblivious jason still hadn’t got it right.) whatever the case, he’d been the one to drag you along here and now he felt guilt pang his heart heavily. “no, no everyone loved you, what are you talking about?” 

your teary, broken eyes glanced up at him, and you couldn’t tear your eyes away. 

perhaps it was the too much alcohol that had entered your lightweight system or perhaps it was the way he looked so… dreamy, even through your blurred vision. his pretty sapphire eyes gazed down at you, so full of concern and worry. he cared so deeply about you, you could tell from his eyes. the slope of his nose, his pretty lips drawn into a frown, his sharp jaw line and the little curls of his hair, white streaks at the front on wide display.

“i’m a fool.” you uttered, so pathetically, full of realisation.

once again, his black brows furrowed in confusion yet also so full of concern. he wanted to understand, to help you but you were proving it awfully difficult, not that he blamed you. “what? you’re not a fool, what are you talking about?” 

you sniffled, practically blubbering. “i told you i’d have to be a fool to love you ‘n if that’s true then i’m a fool.” you hadn’t a notion of what possessed your mouth to move, possessed you to speak. “‘m the biggest fool in the world because i love you so much ‘n im scared i’ll never be able to stop loving you.” 

and the biggest problem was that you were sure he’d never feel the same. 

“is that what all of this is about?” he had to stop himself from chuckling at you, otherwise you’d take it the wrong way and the tears would begin again. instead, his eyes softened and his hand came down to move the hair from your face. “you should have just told me, princess, all of this could have been avoided.” 

you stared up at him with those dazed, confused eyes. 

“when i told you i didn’t want a girlfriend.” he confessed. “it wasn’t because i didn’t want one it was because i didn’t want one that’s not you.” you had to blink at him, thinking it was all merely a dream. “i love you too, sweet girl, always have, always will.” 

and you were sure it was a dream. 

“jay?” 

“yeah?” 

“will you tell me this again when i’m sober?” 

a chuckle. 

“of course, angel.” 

“promise?” 

“i promise.” 

main masterlist/jason's masterlist

[zephyrchama]

Listening to Magic Moment on a non-stop loop has forced me to write this.

Writing Prompt: MC giving "free massage" tickets to the brothers.

Under the cut. Gender neutral MC, second person, one section for each of the 7 brothers.

Warnings: Nothing hardcore but there is suggestive content (every person has different boundaries so I don't know whether to classify it as some or a lot?). One section almost has a violent outburst (guess who lol it's satan's part), that might be unsettling to some.

The Seven Rulers of the Devildom had expensive taste. Must be a side effect from being some of the most powerful and influential millennia-old entities around.

The student council gave you a regular allowance and there was some side change from various part time jobs, but no way could you afford a custom designer brand gift for each of your housemates. When probed for details about what they’d like, they always say they’d gladly accept anything from you. That’s surely true, but you wanted to gift something they’d actually use and appreciate.

So after weeks of thinking, you got a bag of nice craft paper and some cute stickers that reminded you of the brothers. You holed up for an evening with a Do Not Disturb sign on the bedroom door. Late at night a couple days before Christmas, you snuck into the festively decorated living room and dropped your gifts into the brother’s stockings. Those were also your idea, and technically a gift with some little snacks inside, but now they also contained an extra surprise.

On Christmas morning everyone would wake up and discover your “Free Massage” tickets. One use per ticket. Valid forever.

Lucifer ---

You assumed Lucifer would use his ticket quickly, given how exhausted he often was. Despite being as busy as ever, he showed no intention of using it. Perhaps he thought the gift was beneath him and forgot about it entirely. Perhaps he needed hints to remind him.

For days you would check in on him more and more frequently. Send him a text, inform him that you were around if anything was needed. “Don’t forget to take breaks, ok? I’m here if you need me!”

One evening you boldly slipped into his room on the pretenses of returning a book. The timing couldn’t be more perfect. A sleepy Lucifer was towel-drying his hair after a shower. He sat on the corner of the bed, clean pajama shirt folded neatly beside him.

You took a seat on his other side. The book was large enough to occupy a third space. “Thanks for lending this to me. It was a surprisingly helpful reference.”

“I told you it was, didn’t I?”

He sounded amicable to conversation. Time to go on the offensive. “Do you need any help with that? I have a nice hair dryer from Asmo.”

“No,” he stated matter-of-factly. “I have the same one. I just prefer simple routines like this before bed.”

One rejection wasn't enough to deter you. “How was your day? Did anyone cause you trouble?”

You would have known if one of his brothers had acted up, but maybe something else was on his mind you could take advantage of.

“It was particularly uneventful. Quiet, for once. I’m glad to have this evening off, I have to be up early tomorrow.”

Shot down again. Now Lucifer was reaching for his shirt. Before he put it on, you grabbed his shoulder and weaseled your arm under his armpit and around his back. Not the smoothest move, but he stopped to humor you.

“Is anything on your mind?” he asked.

“It’s just that you’ve been so busy lately, I’m worried about your health. You’ve got to take it easy from time to time.” You rubbed your palm over his back. “I’m sure you get sore when you’re overworked.”

“Indeed. However, it’s something I’m used to.”

He re-folded the shirt and got up to put it away. “Would you like to stay the night? You must miss me, seeing as I’m so busy.”

“Absolutely!”

In the spare moments it took for Lucifer to hang up his shirt, place the returned book on its shelf, and walk back to the bed, you already made yourself at home in the sheets. He chuckled, “someone’s eager.”

The lights turned off and he slid into bed by your side. After only a couple of minutes, Lucifer shifted to face the wall. He already appeared asleep. He must really have been tired after all. Under the warm blanket, you reached to stroke his back again.

A novel idea formed in your mind. If all your attempts failed while he was awake, maybe subliminal messaging while asleep would be effective. You snuggled up close and whispered into his ear, “massage ticket… Use… the massage ticket…”

You weren’t expecting a reply, but Lucifer’s deep voice whispered back at you, “why would I waste such a valuable gift?"

"You're awake?" you gasped. Lucifer's prank had been unexpected. You began softly punching his back. "I thought you fell asleep."

"I'm awake, and I wasn't planning on using that ticket. Especially when you go through the trouble to do interesting things like this.”

Mammon ---

Mammon’s ticket had been confiscated. He no longer had it because he got up early, the most excited out of everyone to receive his shiny new presents, and once he saw what was in his stocking he knew that each of his brothers had one too.

Beelzebub walked in on him rooting around in everyone’s stockings to snag their massage tickets for himself and tackled him, as he thought Mammon was stealing Christmas chocolates. The commotion attracted everyone else and Mammon’s ticket was vetoed in a unanimous vote. But he still deserved a gift from you.

Instead of letting him choose a day and time like the others, you visited Mammon’s room when you felt like it. He was still pouting.

“You know I’ve been on my best behavior all year. S’not fair!” He punched the couch in frustration. He really had been getting into less trouble lately. It felt bad seeing him so down.

“Do you want one now? A massage, I mean. Don’t tell your brothers. It’s a limited time offer since you don’t have a ticket.”

“Ya mean it?”

You nodded, and his misery turned into excitement. He literally jumped up. “Well, do I get a little somethin’ extra too? Since I don’t have my ticket, ya know. Somethin’ to make up for that. I’ve got this nice little outfit you could wear that’s-”

You quickly cut him off before the Avatar of Greed gave too many demands. “Limited time offer with terms and conditions. Take the massage right now as-is or leave it. Up to you.”

“Aaarghh alright, alright. I’ll take it. Feel honored! I’ll humor your little massage for a while!”

Mammon dramatically pulled his shirt off but kept wearing the silliest, smuggest smile. He really was cute when trying and utterly failing to act tough. He sprawled himself out on the couch, “let’s see what you’ve got!”

Since the greedy demon hogged all of the couch space, there was nowhere to sit next to him within arm’s reach. With a “don’t mind if I do,” you decided to crawl over Mammon’s legs and sit on his butt.

In a moment of shock he wiggled out from under you. You would have toppled over the side of the sofa had Mammon’s famously fast reflexes not scooped you up, now placing you atop his chest. “Whaddya think you’re doin’, huh? Who said you could do that?”

“You did! How else was I supposed to… Look, do you want this or not?”

His scowl, no matter how big, couldn’t hide the blush on his face. “Yeah, ok, but just… warn me this time… Ok?”

Leviathan ---

It had been nearly a week since you last heard from Leviathan. After Christmas, you thought you might not see him at all until the new year. There were so many holiday game events happening, after all.

“Think I’m stuck,” read the message that popped up on your DDD late one night.

“Can’t move. Requesting reinforcements. And food.”

Concerned, you popped into the kitchen for whatever palatable finger foods you could assemble on a plate and began making your way to the third born’s room. You knocked, but there was no answer. It had been a while since he gave you a password, but it didn’t seem to matter now. You just walked in.

Leviathan was slumped over in his gaming chair, surrounded by roughly ten different screens. Each had a different game and one was streaming some idol talk show. His trash can, while still relatively contained, was almost overflowing with energy drink cans and snack packages. Levi didn’t seem to notice you walk in. He had been gaming for days. You set the plate at the edge of his PC desk.

“Dang. You live like this?”

Bleary-eyed and vitamin D deficient, he still shrieked. “Whuh? Don’t scare me like that!!”

“I came to answer your distress call. You’re stuck?”

“Oh, right. I did send that, didn’t I.” He turned back to the monitors briefly to pause a few things and save a few others. It was impressive how much he could multitask.

“My back’s turned into a pretzel. I thought I’d finally take a break, but when I went to stand up I couldn’t. I think I’m stuck to the chair, lol. If I, uh, use the massage ticket, could you help me?”

“’course I will. Here, drink something.” You slid him a juice. The gamer chair was pretty tall, blocking all access to Leviathan’s back, so you started tapping away at his shoulders. He scrambled to take his headphones off, which helped.

“Sorry to call you in for such a stupid reason. I know this is a disgusting sight..”

You shook your head, though he couldn’t see it. “How’s your game progress?””Oh, about 80% done everything? 85? But it’s mostly the daily quests now, I’ve maxed out on all the top prizes from the main event stories. Look, I even got this Christmas bow set. It has trash stats but looks like a tree and fires little candy canes.”

A big burly warrior with a Christmas hat on one of the screens demonstrated the weapon.

“Uwaah, you know that really helped. I think I can try to stand now.” Leviathan made a made show of setting his legs on the ground and leaning forward, only to magnificently slide back into the chair. “Ow. Ok. That, uh, wasn’t what I planned.” He turned away. “Don’t look at me.”

“No! Don’t give up!” You spun the seat around and he squeaked In astonishment. “We’re gonna make this happen. Levi! Do you trust me?” It was all or nothing. You dramatically reached out your hands. You knew you could do it. You were going to pull this demon out of the gamer chair.

Steeling his resolve, Leviathan nodded and grabbed your hands. You asked, “ready?”

He confirmed, “Ok… Ok lets go! One!”

“Two!”

As you shouted “three!” in unison, you tugged back with all your strength. Maybe you could have pulled a little less, as the two of you went flying backwards. There would have been some real damage if Levi didn’t cushion your head from the tiled floor with his arm.

“Woaaah it woooorked! We did--”

Mid-celebration, he seemed to notice he was in a compromising position on top of you. After barrel rolling off to the side, his voice got noticeably quieter. “We did it… yeah, uh… Sorry about--”

Leaving no room for negativity, you reached around his back and hugged him before he could finish the sentence. “I really missed you, y’know? Come out of your room more often, Levi.”

His face wasn’t visible, but you’re sure it was bright red as he stammered a soft “alright.”

Satan ---

Satan texted, asking if he could redeem his massage ticket after a long and tiring day. Said it was urgent. His presence was always in demand at social events, galleries, and book shop unveilings. After five busy events in one day he just wanted to return

home to relax with a book, but some idiots were running around the library playing war with rubber band shooters. His fuse that day was incredibly short. So he retreated to the comfort of his room, but each thudding footstep down the hall sounded irksome and brought Satan one step closer to snapping.

When you knocked at his door, wrath was seeping out the cracks into the hallway. He practically screamed at you to get inside. Satan was shaking on the edge of his bed, crushing an unrecognizable object in his hand. The room was dreadfully cold. You rushed to his side, practically jumping into the empty space next to him.

He barely acknowledged you. Rubbing slow, small circles on his back had a quick effect though. Upon hitting between his shoulder blades, his tense muscles loosened and he leaned against your side. You could hear him grinding his teeth. After a long minute passed he exhaled in relief.

You scooted back a bit and guided his head to your lap. Stroking continuous circles, one hand was in his rich blonde hair, the other against his shirt fabric. “Thank you for coming,” he muttered, rubbing a cheek against your thigh.“You really saved me there.”

“Any time. Do you want to talk about your day?” Your voice was low and soft.

“No. Just keep going.”

Gently pulling at his shirt collar, you loosened it to caress the back of his neck. He was still in his outdoor attire. He’d tell you about it in time, once fully calmed down. He tried to apologize for the outburst, though it wasn’t your fault and he didn’t quite know what to say. You brushed his hair back, combing it away from his forehead to let him know things were okay. It became your personal mission lessen the stiffness in his back. You’d work your way down his spine until he relaxed.

“Maybe I could read you a book, too?” You suggested, squeezing his shoulder. Satan shifted his hand to rub your knee in appreciation.

Asmodeus ---

Asmodeus set aside a whole spa evening to use your massage ticket. It was special. He filled his bath with high-end fragrances so his skin would be extra silky. He extended an offer for you to join him in the water, heated with magic to be the perfect temperature, but you said you’d wait in his room. Those baths can take hours. You’d be too pruny to feel, let alone massage anything. He had plenty of interesting magazines to flip through in the meantime, and you got to enjoy the plush sheets on his bed.

He waltzed out of the bathroom in a magnificently fluffy robe, another Christmas gift he’d received from somebody. “Thanks for waiting! Were you lonely? I’m allll ready!”

A brand new skincare set waited on the vanity, stocked with creams and masks for you to try together. Asmo plopped into a seat while you pulled up a spare chair behind him. “What are we starting with first?”

He rifled through the packages. “This!” A matte purple, gooey liquid. “I tried samples of this before, it smells divine. Come here!”

You let him plop a dab of the gloop on your nose and rub it into your cheeks. “There! Give it a few minutes and then wash it off. In the meantime, shall we begin? Hm?”

He turned to face the mirror and wiggled impatiently for his massage, cheekily sliding the robe off his shoulder. “I know you probably can’t wait much longer.” You both laughed. With the robe around his waist, you got to work redeeming the ticket. Pounding against his back didn’t seem to phase him at all, and Asmo hardly moved from the strength of your fists as he rubbed another cream under his eyes. He launched into a story about some fan who sent him a thirty page letter the other day.

“They described my beautiful eyes really well. It was even scented, and each page was another scent. Isn’t that wild? Do you think they did that themselves, or are the pages sold like that?” His eyes peered at you in the vanity mirror. “Hey, can you rub a little harder?”

“Oh, sure!” Knowing it would be hard for you to physically hurt him, you put a bit more force into each tap. “What scent was your favorite? Like, could you distinguish them?”

“Actually, yeah! There were lots of fruits like cherries, strawberries, one was pine scented, and a rose one of course.” Asmo glanced away from his own reflection once again and he shifted his weight back towards you. “Hey, hon? Harder?”

You obliged, squeezing his back muscles with as much strength as you could muster. “Is that… Was it the longest fan letter you’ve gotten?”Asmo let out a barely distinguishable moan. You almost thought you imagined it.

”Hm… Not by far…” He started, but trailed off. With a big breath, he moaned louder and leaned back further. “Oh, come on, harder… ” He wrapped his arms around his chest and wiggled.

“Asmo!? What the-- are you…? Gross!” You lifted your hands in shock and he burst out laughing. Without anything supporting him up, he fell into your lap in a fit of giggles. “Did you think I was serious? Ahaha! You’re so cute when you’re flustered!”

Beelzebub ---

“I ate something that didn’t agree with my stomach, can I redeem that gift for a massage? It might make me feel better.” That’s what Beelzebub asked one afternoon, stopping by your room after noticing the door open. It’s rare for something to upset Beel’s stomach. It must have been really rancid.

“Yeah, of course! You wanna do it here or your room?”

“We’re already here. If you don’t mind.” Beel walked in and made himself at home, smoothing out the covers on your bed.

You got up to shut the door, but wondered if a run to the kitchen would be useful.

“Will ice help? Or any kind of medicine?” Maybe even normal food would cancel out the bad stuff and make Beel feel better, but he declined. Beel already propped his head up on your pillow and laid down.

“You’re gonna lay face up? How am I supposed to rub your back?””My stomach hurts. I thought you could rub that, and I would feel better.””Oh.” Nobody else had been able to look at you directly while giving massages. This was more embarrassing.

Beelzebub realized he hadn’t taken his shirt off, but didn’t want to stand and repeat the process again, so he just pulled it up to his chest. His breathing did seem more labored than usual. Out of pity, you didn’t roll him over. “I haven’t done this way before, so tell me if it’s uncomfortable.”

The demon was so much bigger than you, it was hard to find a good starting spot. “You can sit here,” he said, patting his waist. “Only if you want to. I don’t mind.” So you scooted on up, placing your legs to the left and right of him. Beel is so muscled it was like sitting on a warm rock.

“Where does it feel uncomfortable? Here?” You prodded a bit around his stomach, careful not to make him sick.

“Pff, haha, yeah. That’s it.”

“That tickles?”

“Yeah.”

While Beel softly giggled, you worked your hands along the soft spots between his ab muscles. “What did you even eat?”

“A bath bomb.”You couldn’t help laugh along with him. Beel continued, “I didn’t know that’s what it was until Solomon told me though. I thought I maybe I accidentally had his cooking. It looked delicious. But I think it started expanding, and caused an ache.”

“I can’t blame you there. I almost ate soap once.”

“Really? You?” You were always the more level one when it came to food. “Did it look good?”

You nodded. “Boy, did it. And it smelled amazing, I could smell it from across the room. You probably smelled the bath bomb the moment you walked in that building, right?”

He vigorously nodded. “So you do get it!”

Beel reached up and pulled you into a big hug, catching you off guard so you practically fell on top of him. “Thanks for making me feel better.”

Escaping from one of Beel’s hugs was no easy feat, so you happily went along with it. “Any time. If you ever see one of those fake cupcakes again, maybe we can put it in the bath water and see what it does together.”

Belphegor ---

“I’ve got a fun idea. Meet me in the observatory?

When you showed up to Belphegor’s summons he was counting stars. The observatory was dark but the stars were bright enough to illuminate his silhouette standing in front of the window. He greeted you with a warm smile.

“I brought my ticket. I have a special request though.” Waving the massage ticket in

his hand, he came to meet you in the middle of the room. As your eyes adjusted you could make out that an old telescope was set up next to the fountain.

“ A special request? I guess I could hear you out since I came all this way.”

The two of you took a seat on the floor. For several moments, the only sounds were your own breathing and the soothing flow of water. When he didn’t start explaining, you were afraid Belphie might fall asleep in the peaceful silence. “Are you really gonna wait for me to ask what it is?”

“Yeah. If you wanna know, you should hurry up.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“What did you want to do?”

He reached to adjust the telescope in front of you at your eye level while explaining. “I thought we could stargaze together, but instead of just talking about what we see, we could draw them on each other’s backs. If you draw the constellations I can tell you what they are. When it’s my turn, I can show you what they look like and tell you stuff about it. What do you think?”

If your eyes could have stars in them, at this moment they would. “That sounds like a really fun idea.”

“Hehe, right? I told you. So take a look, what do you see?”

Belphegor turned his back towards you while you excitedly peered through the telecope. It was easy to focus and you quickly found a target to study.

“Two there, and then… Ok, I think I’ve got it. What’s this?”

You started to replicate what you saw with little knocks for stars, and connected them by slowly drawing arcs between the points. Belphegor’s jacket would slide over his shirt though, messing up the curves.

“Hm…” He sighed. “I thought I would be pretty good at this, but it’s hard to tell what you’re drawing.”

“This might be easier without the jacket,” you admitted.

“Really? I’m too tired to take it off though. Take it off for me?”

His brothers spoiled him too much, just like you did, so Belphegor didn’t move a muscle when you tried to peel off the warm jacket. You had to get in his personal space and lift his arms up for him. You told yourself the struggle would be worth it when you finally wrestled it off of him and could wear it yourself. He was being too uncooperative though, and eventually suggested “how about we switch? I don’t want to take this off, I’m comfortable now.”

Dejected without your warm prize, you agreed. The telescope stand rattled against the ground as he readjusted it and you turned away from him. “Do you still really want to use your massage ticket if I’m not the one doing it?” you inquired.

He hummed and hawed, mulling it over while gazing up at the sky. “Yeah, I do, if it lets me do fun stuff like this with you. I got one, let me know if you have this star sign in the human world.”

The first couple pokes sent tingles through your skin. The stars were really far away from each other, drawn on opposite sides of your lower back, but you weren’t prepared for such a delicate touch and had been distracted. “I don’t… think so? Hold on, draw it again.”

“Don’t you know? It goes like this.” He poked again, a little lower. You let out an

“eep!” and subconsciously scooted forward.

“Wait, I’m not done.” He was clearly holding back laughter. “I haven’t shown you this other one yet.”

The next constellation felt less like the trace of a star, and a lot more like Belphegor just wanted to tickle your sides. “Do you know what this is called?”

“Khh hahaha, no, I don’t.” The laugh-riddled admission further encouraged him. He wiggled lines all over your sides and crept his way to your stomach.

“I guess we have a lot of constellations to talk about then. Good thing the sky is so clear tonight.”

[mysticmoaning]

Tension II - rab

Description:

Regulus decides to apologise and you accept in a very gracious way.

Warnings:

Big angst / Use of 'mudblood' / Fingers in V / V Penetration / Virgin!Regulus

A/N:

This is not what I originally planned for this part two, but I guess that can be expected after such a long time between, sorry!!! I hope you enjoy the Big Feelings, Sad Boi Regulus, and Virgin!Regulus. Sorry about the ending, I want to keep this going cause I have some ideas and it was necessary unfortunately.

After your experience on the train, Regulus had become all but non-existent in your life. Your meeting with the muggle-born first years (where he gritted out the speech he left you to write and practically spat on the new wizard and witches' abilities) was the last time you'd seen him, save for the occasional glimpse around Hogwarts.

Whatever. You had better things to do than fool around with such a close-minded prick like him. No matter that the feeling of your own fingers had become a shadow compared to the memory of his scissoring inside you. Fuck...

Stop. You'd get over him eventually. It's not like you liked him, you just...no.

You tried to focus on detangling the knots in your hair as you yanked it out of its bun, wincing at your accidental aggressiveness. It was just your luck that you'd had a quidditch match today. Regulus had been wearing those tight pants under his quidditch robes and your thoughts had drifted towards how difficult it would be to slip your hand down them, costing you a goal.

Lost in the memory, you didn't hear the footsteps until whoever was right behind you. You jumped, having stayed late to have the place to yourself and wondering who the hell had come to disturb you. At the sight of Regulus, you gasped.

"What are you doing here?" You snapped.

He looked ghostly pale, his damp hair combed back and beginning to curl. Noticing his uniform, you realised you were in your bra and underwear, believing everyone to have vacated the showers.

Good. Maybe you could make him squirm.

His eyes flickered down your body before resting on the floor, his cheeks quickly growing red. He shoved his hands in his pants pockets and you smirked in understanding as to why. Well, he couldn't deny his attraction to you.

"Why the nerves, Black? Thought you hated me..." You turned to put your brush down on the bench beside you, head quickly swivelling back when you heard him mumble something under his breath. "What?"

He glanced up, eyes catching on your lacy bra before meeting yours. A muscle in his jaw twitched.

"I said, I don't hate you."

You stared in disbelief. What was he on about?

"Merlin, you had me fooled." You stood, taking a step towards him with your hands on your hips. "Pushing me away as soon as your fingers left my pussy," his adam's apple bobbed nervously and he glanced away, "Then ignoring me for the past two weeks like nothing even happened. And don't think I didn't understand your nastiness with the muggle-born first years being meant for me."

He looked at you then, eyes flicking between your own. His lips parted and then closed. A pink flash of tongue wet them, the fresh shine giving you thoughts of other ways he could use them.

Fuck, why was it so hard to be around him?

He sighed deeply, ran a hand through his hair, and then sat defeatedly on the bench behind him. You nearly asked if he was alright but held your ground.

"I-" He glanced at you before fixing his gaze on the tile, apparently the only way he could say whatever it was that was bothering him. "I don't hate you. And....and I'm sorry."

You stared at him hard, in shock. Had a Black ever said sorry in their lifetime? Sitting back down was the only response you could muster.

The corner of his mouth quirked like he understood your confusion before quickly resuming its downward position. The wrinkles already forming on either side made it clear he was used to the expression.

"Listen, I...I was embarrassed." He glanced at you quickly before looking away. "I'm....I've never...I had never..."

"You're a virgin?" The words left your mouth before you could stop them. He gave an almost imperceptible nod. What were you hearing right now? You had your suspicions but never in a million years did you think them to be true. Just looking at him, you couldn't process that no one had tried to get close enough to him to get him into bed.

Flashing back over the memory from the train, certain things began to jump out at you. His nervousness. How he thought you were in pain when you threw your head back in pleasure. The way he groaned into your shoulder when you....

"Holy shit, you came!" You didn't mean to practically yell it, your hand flying over your mouth.

His eyes were round saucers as he stared at you, cheeks growing impossibly red.

"Y/N, please..." The shine in his eyes made you freeze. "Please don't tell anyone."

You moved to sit beside him.

"Regulus, why would I tell anyone?" His head was in his hands now. He glanced over at you.

"What do you want?" You furrowed your brow in confusion. He studied your face for a moment. "You're not going to tell..." You shook your head, "So what do you want in return?"

"What?" You couldn't understand his thought process for a moment. Then it clicked. Everyone in his life always wanted something in return for treating him with decency. Nothing came free for him...

You had always been conflicted about Regulus. A shitty family can't totally excuse bad behaviour, but this...Merlin, fitting in with his family was about survival. Sirius had gotten out, sure, but you'd never heard anything about him trying to help Regulus. His only connection to a better, less hateful world had left him behind.

"Regulus," You slide your fingers into his, pulling his hand away from his face and into your lap. He looked at you and then away, obviously waiting for the other shoe to drop. "I don't want anything from you. I'm not going to tell anyone because that's our private business and no one else deserves to know. That's the least you deserve."

He glanced back at you, eyes flickering over the details of your face. His lips silently mimed 'our' and the corners of his mouth started to curve upwards.

You couldn't help it, all the tension from the past two weeks, the anger, and this loaded conversation, wore down your resolve. Plus, you were beginning to think maybe you didn't hate Regulus after all.

You kissed him, his lips just as soft and welcoming as on the train. He involuntarily moaned into your mouth and you smiled.

His fingers, impossibly gentle, ghosted over your exposed thigh. You angled yourself towards him and moved his hand around to your hip. He pulled away with a soft gasp, eyes searching your face.

"I don't know..."

You paused immediately, gripping his hand in yours and holding it chastely away from your body.

"We don't have to do anything, Reg. I want you to be comfortable."

He shook his head quickly, a smile like sunshine lighting his face and making your stomach flip. "No, I want to. Merlin, do I want to..." His thick brows knitted a cloud that cast a shadow over his face. "It's just...since I've never...I don't know how long I'm going to last. I mean, you didn't even touch me last time and..."

He looked to you shyly.

"Hey," You moved his hand back to your hip and his eyes tracked the movement, darkening as his skin made contact with the plump flesh just briefly covered by the band of your underwear. "We all have to start somewhere."

This time, he leaned in to connect your lips. You revelled in this subtle show of confidence and the way he flicked his tongue against yours.

"You're so beautiful," He whispered against your lips, his fingers teasing the edges of your underwear. "I've always thought so."

You pulled away enough to look into his eyes, realising suddenly that they were the deepest of blues, not black like you thought. He stared back, a nervous smile on his lips.

You studied his face. His lashes were thick like his brows, black and shadowy around his eyes. He had pinprick freckles over his nose and on the highest points of his cheeks. The bow of his lips was so perfectly formed you couldn't help but lean in to kiss him again.

He kissed back, more firmly this time. You felt the heat too, the urgency that was beginning to rise between you. His fingers dug into your hip and you sighed into his mouth in response. He took this as a good sign, moving his hand around to palm at your ass. You put your hand over his and squeezed so he'd grab you, not giving him the time to question as you slung one leg over his to straddle him.

He stared at you in awe and you felt the bulge in his pants harden further. You held his face in your hands, fingers spread over his cheeks, and ground your hips into him. His eyes rolled back with his head as he groaned out at the feeling.

"Is this okay?" You confirmed and his hands flew to your hips, gripping tightly.

"Merlin, yes," He just managed to slit his eyes to look at you, pupils blown so you could hardly see the rim of blue around them. You smirked down at him, keeping your eyes locked on his as you began to unzip his pants and pull him out of his boxers. He cursed as you gripped him in your hand, gently beginning to stroke him. "Fuck, I don't know that I'm even going to make it inside you, Y/N."

You laughed as he quirked his lips, smiling apologetically.

Deciding not to tease him any further, you slipped your underwear to the side and ran the head of his cock quickly through your dripping folds. Regulus cried out at the feeling but you swallowed the sound with your mouth, kissing him as you slowly lowered yourself onto him.

You moaned as his considerable girth stretched you out, his own sounds of pleasure already signalling that he was close. Rocking slowly against his hips, you focused on the friction of your clit rubbing against him. He gripped your hips so hard you were sure he'd leave bruises and you knew he was using all of his self control not to cum.

You quickened your pace and he gasped into your mouth. Pulling away, you moved your lips to his ear, giving a soft bite to shell of it. He groaned and his hands moved down to your thighs, still holding on like his life depended on it.

"Let go, Reg. I wanna hear how good it feels." You whispered into his ear. The flutter of your breath on his neck and the words you spoke sent him quickly careening over the edge.

"Fuck, Y/N!" He cried out, his head thrown back as his cock twitched inside of you with each thick stream of cum. You kissed along his exposed neck, slowing your movements as his quick, heavy breaths began to calm.

When he was nearly recovered, he raised his head to look at you, his cheeks flushed. He moved his hand between your bodies and rubbed his thumb over your clit, making you gasp.

"Shit, Reg, you don't-" He caught your lips in his, bucking his hips up gently as he rubbed generous circles on your clit. You moaned into him, his still-hard cock thrusting into you making the fire that already burned in your belly begin to spread.

He started to kiss your exposed chest, sucking at the skin of your breasts. When he began to soften inside you, he quickly replaced himself with the fingers of his other hand, working them faster until you were a cursing mess on top of him.

Momentarily abandoning your clit, he used his free hand to pull down half your bra, latching onto the exposed nipple with his tongue and bringing you to your breaking point.

You cried out his name as you rocked through your orgasm, falling onto him and trying to regain your breath once the waves of pleasure passed.

Finally, you pulled yourself up to look Regulus in the eyes. He smiled softly, cheeks still pink in pleasure.

His brows rose slightly, lips parting to expose a sliver of his perfect, white teeth. You moved off him and he quickly zipped himself up while you fixed your bra.

"So..." He began, nervous once again, his fingers playing with the sleeve of his sweater. "This doesn't mean anything, right?"

You stared at him in disbelief. What? His features began to darken, his eyes trained on the floor again.

"I can't...." He swallowed. "I can't be anything to you. I mean, my parents can't know. No one can know..." He trailed off softly.

"What?" You were growing angry. What did that mean? "God, Regulus, seriously? Since I'm not some close-minded, pureblood scumbag you can't be associated with me? Fuck off."

He stood quickly and moved towards you while you hurried to get dressed.

"Y/N, I can't. You don't understand-"

"I don't understand?"

"No, I've got...responsibilities. You don't-"

He cut himself off with a gasp as you stepped to him and yanked up his sleeve, revealing the offensive black ink branded into his skin. "What don't I understand, Regulus? I think it's perfectly clear. I don't fit into your tiny, fucked up world. You can't play the perfect Death Eater for mommy and daddy and fuck a dirty mudblood at the same time. Does that about sum it up?"

You stormed out before he could answer, ignoring the pain in your chest and the tears beginning to spill over onto your cheeks.

[tan1shere]

Changes pt 2

Ellie Williams x female reader !

A/n: it's here at last ... I hope you all enjoy it I honestly don't have much to say but, pt 3 ? Also this whole idea was inspired by a show slightly, if you can guess what it is down below I'll give you a kiss 😁!!

Summary: Ellies the bad girl in the school but she takes a liking to the reader, everyone's worried but the reader somehow changes her for the better ... or does she ?

Warnings: drinking, smoking, the mention of drugs like once. Swearing ? Mentions of anxiety and a beginning panic attack ! Think that's all :)

Masterlist || pt 1 ! Pt 3 !

A few weeks had past, and your bond with Ellie grew even stronger. You spent most of your time with her, although that wasn't very liked by the people around you. "She's gunna hurt you Y/n." Your roommate, Angela warns for what felt like the hundredth time. You know you should probably listen, but maybe Ellie just hasn't been around the right sort of people. Maybe she's changed. You were convinced that's what it was. As you started to get to know Ellie you learnt she was actually quite smart. She knew so much, but she constantly turned up late to classes. Never paid attention. You were confused as to why, she was so talented and bright, why would anyone throw something like that away.

You were currently walking down the halls on your way to your favorite place, yes ofcourse the library. It was like your home away from home. As you walk in you spot Ellie sitting there, doing her usual dribbles and doodles. "Whatcha doin there?" You beam at her as you sit down in a chair close to hers. She looks up at you and gives you a smile. "Just sketching, nothing exciting." She continues to look at you as you get a few things out. "How's the book?" She asks, setting a pencil she held on the table infront of you both. "Its the best, I've been reading it non-stop." You smile more at the question. She just smiles at your smile. "Told you, it's such a good read." A silence filled the air, not an awkward one, or a comfortable one. Just a silence, one that was as if there was something still to be said. You could feel it, so you look up at her. She was just looking at you, admiringly. But for some reason she stops, clearing her throat a little bit and getting back to her drawing. Odd? Maybe a little.

Ellie knew she wasn't the relationship type. She knew she wasn't classed as 'good' she knew she flunked on many things. She knew this. So why does it feel like she's feeling something for you. That never happens, she uses people- as bad as that sounds she won't sugar coat it, she knows she's done wrong. Is she going to do it to you too? She had no idea and the thought honestly frightened her, she's never felt this way for anyone in her life. She needed to put those thoughts aside she couldn't fall. But oh how beautiful she thought you were. Your hair looked so well taken care of, perfect features. Not too much makeup just light amounts, your pretty skin and how soft it genuinely looked. Minding your own business as you read, focusing on what it is you're reading. She couldn't, this isn't good. Especially when she has no faith in herself to not hurt you. But she couldn't give it up, she wanted to be in your presence you were so sweet and inviting it made her feel warm.

She had to not give into all these feelings at all. "Ellie?" You tilt your head slightly to get a better look at her face. You two were currently in her room working on something that was assigned to the both of you. She wasn't paying attention which you found out was normal for her to tube out and go into her little land. "Yeah sorry, just thinking." You slowly nod, continuing to speak about the project. She let's out a sigh. "I'm sorry am I boring you?" You let out a light hearted giggle as you say that, she begins to get defensive. Worried she had hurt you in some way. "No no no, ofcourse not! The complete opposite. Sorry I'm just a bit tired." She admits. You still laugh a tiny bit. "I'm just being silly Els." She swallows. That name that you acquired recently, makes her insane.

But definitely in a good way, she loves it. Was she a fool for you or something. You go to speak again, but shut your mouth. It had been dawning on you, the question you wanted to ask so badly. So you just come out and ask. "Why are you always ditching classes, why aren't you applying yourself?" She looks directly at you as you say this. She just shrugs. "You're incredibly smart Ellie. I don't know why you're-" You continue, although she shuts it down. "I really don't want to talk about this." She blurts, making you shut up for a sec. "Yeah no ofcourse." Awkward silence, but she breaks it with yet another sigh. "I'm sorry that was harsh." You just shake your head. "No no, I shouldn't of been nosey, it's not my business." You give her a tiny smile. Yet again. More silence.

"Right well, we shou-" "you want a smoke?" You were stunned by the question. You watch as she gets up. It was a little upsetting to see her not care about this project. "Elli-" She turns around. "Oh yeah no ofcourse, I shouldn't of asked." "El-" But she wasn't done. "That was a silly question, you don't seem like the type to do th-" "ELLIE." The room went quiet, she just looks at you. "Will you just shut up for a second." You laugh slightly. "Why are you avoiding this project?" She shrugs. She really likes doing that, huh. "I dunno, it's stupid." You furrow your brows slightly. "But this would be so easy for you Els." Theres that name again. She begins to smoke whatever the fuck she is smoking, seemingly to ignore you. You roll your eyes a tiny bit, closing the books that you had in your grasp, while going to get up, and walk over to her. She watches you, continuing to smoke. However she wasn't expecting your next move.

You get on your tiptoes and snatch it out her hand. "Hey!" She stands up properly. You keep ahold of it. "I'll give it back once you do some of this work!" You laugh a bit. She looks at you. With a 'be so serious' look. "Like I can't just snatch it right back." She walks towards you slowly, making you back up. "Well I won't let ya." She lets out her own laugh. "Did you forget your hight?" You glare at her. "I am not, that short." She raises a brow, getting closer to you going to try grab it, but you swiftly move your arm so she can't. "I may be tiny but I'm smart." She goes to try again. "Yeah well so am I." Again, she tries and fails. "Well if you're so smart use it for the project." She completely ignores that deciding to bend down and put you over her shoulder. You let out a small screech, going to grip the cig a bit tighter so it doesn't fall.

She drops you on her bed being careful still, making you bounce slightly on the mattress. She goes for the cig now that you are more grounded, but yet again you move it so she couldn't. You let out a giggle at how difficult she's finding this. "Not funny, you." She tries. Again. You laugh more at her poor attempts. "Right that's it." She pins your arms down as you try get out of her grasp, but before she could do all that you put it in your mouth having it rest there. "Gunna have to unpin my arms if you want it." You mumble still having it against your lips. "You're trouble huh." You let out another laugh. She goes to unpin one of your arms and when she does you quickly grab te cigarette from your mouth and hold it above you.

You could see the slight frustration in her eyes, you try hard not to let another laugh slip. "Gimmie it." "Do the work." She stares at you for a moment. "Oh you wanna play games?" She wastes no time into tickling you. One thing she didn't know but definitely was going to find out is that you were incredibly ticklish. Your eyes widen. "No no noooo." She doesn't listen, continuing the assault to your sides, you squirm trying to escape it. "Ellie!" You let out constant giggles. She smirks seeing you weren't paying attention and snatching the cigarette right back into her grasp, sticking it back into her mouth. But she didn't stop tickling you. "Say you're sorry Missy!" You laugh more. "Hell no!" Shes close to you. "Then the tickling shall continue." You keep laughing and honestly. Ellie enjoys this.

She really enjoyed your laugh, she loved to hear it. The fact she could make you laugh so easily made her heart happy. She's never seen anyone else make you laugh like she has, and sometimes she doesn't even try. But she manages to always pull a laugh or giggle from your lips. "Ellie pleaseee." She shakes her head. "Stand down!" You laugh. "Fine fine I surrender, I'm sorry!" You're still laughing even when she's stopped. But like most times silence overcame this scene. It was never an awkward one though. You look at each other. "Can we do some of the project now." You ask her. She stays quiet for a bit. Pondering. "Come on Ellie, it's not much and it's not like you'd struggle or anything-" you cut your sentence short. You hadn't realized how close you two were, she's most definitely noticing this too. You swallow keeping the eye contact going.

But she takes the cigarette out, turns her head and blows some smoke, beginning to get off of you. "Can I ask you something?" You sit up a bit once shes off, nodding. "Yeah ofcourse." You were intrigued. "What do people tell you about me?" You look at her, wondering how to go about this. "They just tell me to be careful and such." Now you shrug, sitting up more into a criss cross position. "Can I ask a question now?" She looks at you and nods. "Why do they tell me that. What's so bad that you've done." That silence was upon the room again. Another famous Ellie sigh. "I'm not a completely great person, maybe I'm working on it I dunno. But I don't date. I can't it's just not in me." You listen to all she has to say. "Why?" Usually people who asked such questions would get shut down by her. But she genuinely wanted to tell you, she loved the way you'd listen, to anyone. The way you'd take in every detail of information. "I'm not too sure."

She sits on the bed with you. "I just don't know if I can bring myself to being committed to anyone. You know?" You nod, taking in what she has to say. "I dunno, maybe I haven't found the right person." You keep looking at her. "Hmm, maybe." Silence. "You think you ever could?" She sighs a tiny bit. "I could do, no way of truly telling until the time actually comes." "Noted." For the first time ever with you two, there was a slight awkwardness in the air. You wanted to say something to fix it but you just stay silent. "What about you?" You became confused by the question. "What about, me?" You inquire. "Yeah, you been with people? You a relationship kinda girl?" You laugh a tiny bit at the question. "I've been in a few, nothing serious but I definitely am a relationship girl." She nods, going to take one last drag of her cig, going to put it out in an ashtray on her windowsill.

It was a few days later, you were currently on your way to your dorm, Angie was out for the night so you had a hot date with your blankets and your book. As you were strolling down the halls you caught sight of a friend in your class, you smile at him. "Hey, kenny!" You say with joy. He returns the smile, coming over to you. "Hey Y/n, what you got planned for tonight?" "I'm going to relax, read and eat." You smile more. "How about you? Anything exciting?" He shrugs. "Probably going to chill also, or go to a party." You nod, knowing he was probably confused on why you were staying inside on a Friday night, you didn't really know each other very well so you aren't surprised if he is. "You keep to yourself alot huh?" You nod proud. "Sure do, keeps me sane." He laughs a tiny bit. "Well I mean not completely to yourself." You furrow your brows. "What do you mean?" He pauses for a sec, looking at you. "I see you with Williams alot." "Oh yeah, she's cool to hang out with." He doesn't say anything immediately.

"What are you two? Like fuck buddies or something?" More confusion. "Excuse me?" You laugh slightly. "Well I never see her with many people unless she's fucking them soo." You stare at him. "Do people think that? Like about me and her" He shrugs. "I know I do, maybe others. But what are you two?" Why was he so intrigued by it. You knew she didn't have a great rep but seriously? "Well shes a good friend." He thinks for a moment. "She don't have many of those." You were baffled by this man and what he had to say. "I guess you just truly don't know her then." You don't know why you felt so irritated by this, but you go to leave. "Don't start anything with her, you're too pure for her antics." You stop in your tracks, going to turn back around. "And don't judge a book by its cover." You simply state. "Bit hard when that cover hasn't had the best past." You sigh. "People change." "Not Williams. Trust me we all thought that once, there's no changing her-" you go to cut him off.

"What are you talking about." He looks at you as if he was the one confused now. "You don't know?" You shake your head. "This has happened before, she almost dated this girl who thought would change her, she shitted big time on her. She doesn't even go here anymore and it was all because of Williams." You didn't want to believe that, it sounded horrible. "I'm sure she didn't leave just because of that." There was a tiny pause. "Nope, definitely was. She broke that poor girls heart. Couldn't even bring herself to come back, so she moved. I'm just trying to save you from-" you shut that down immediately. "I can handle myself, thank you though. But I don't need you telling me this." He shrugs. "Alright, just letting you know before you get too far gone with her." And that was that you both turned to leave. Did everyone just hate this girl? How could almost the whole school be so against her. You try to ignore all of this, wanting to go read, that is until you get a text.

-Hey, you busy tonight?

Speak of the devil. It was Ellie. You couldn't help but smile at your phone.

-I was going to have a night of reading, but you're more than welcome to join me, my roommate isn't going to be there so it'd be nice and quiet.

-how could i possibly decline that generous offer ;) see you soon?

-bring a book! 🤓

-holding one right now 📖

You smile more, making your way to your door and grabbing the keys to unlock it. You were brought to your senses when you could smell what seemed to be vanilla, you knew it was Angies perfume, she would always wear it whenever she'd go see her boyfriend. It always made you smile when she'd go on dates, she'd be so genuinely happy to get dressed up, telling you how amazing he was and how happy he made her. It was nice to hear. You set your things down on the couch, heading into your room to grab some blankets and such, making a space on the couch for them. You were soon startled when you hear a knock on the door, to it being opened. "Hello hello hello." Ellie says coming in. "Oh hey, I was just getting the couch nice." She closes the door behind her. "What book did you bring?" You ask, looking over at her. "I- honestly have no clue just picked up something random." She states, coming over to the couch and sitting down. "Good day?" She leans back into the cushions, kicking her feet up on the coffee table.

"Yeah pretty good, bit slow but it got there in the end. And you?" Coming over to sit down next to her, bringing the blankets up your body. "Pretty much the same." You couldn't help but laugh. "What's so hilarious." She smiles ever so slightly. "I dunno, I just assume they're boring because you don't do anything." She raises a brow. "Not true. I have so much fun." "Oh yeah? What do you do that's so fun?" You open your book up, taking the Bookmark out preparing to read once you were done with the conversation. "I go on a secret mission, shhhh I can't talk about it." You laugh and roll your eyes. "You're so incredibly goofy." She smiles more. "You love it." Your smile softened a bit, you truly did. You loved how she would be so silly, especially since you didn't get to see that side of her until you were alone together. You avert your eyes over to the words on the page, beginning to read your book. She does the same opening up the random book to start.

After a little bit, you wanted to just talk. As you're still looking at your book you speak up. "I had a weird interaction today." She looks up, and at you. "Oh?" You do the same, nodding. "Got told to stay away from you, again." She lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry people are bombarding you with that-" But you just shake your head. "Trust me it's fine, it doesn't bother me. What gets to me is how hung up they are on the topic." You truly couldn't wrap your brain around it. "He told me about this girl you had almost gotten into a relationship wi-" "he?" She stops your words. You look at her as she does so. "Yeah?" She furrows her brows more. "Who is this guy?" "His names Kenny, you know him?" She rolls her eyes. "Who doesn't know him, he's always in people's faces." You keep looking at her as she speaks, when a sudden sigh comes out.

"The reason he told you that was because he was super close to her. He got furious at me when the whole thing happened and it eventually turned into a huge fight. Silly, drunken fight." This makes you raise your brows. "Oh my God." "It was all okay, no one got badly hurt but it happened, I moved on. Clearly he hasn't." You think for a moment, wondering if you should ask what you wanted to or stay in your lane and just keep quiet. She noticed your silence. "What're you thinking 'bout pretty girl?" Trying to ignore how happy that name made your heart, you push all the fear away and just ask. "What did you even do to her." Ellie goes quiet tho as if she didn't want to talk about it. "I- uhm just forget that sorry." You bite your lip feeling awful for even bringing it up. She puts a reassuring hand on your knee. "I don't mind. It's ok, I promise just caught me a little off guard is all." Listening to what she says, you nod. "I was never really present in the relationship, sort of a bit closed off. It wasn't even a relationship really, more of a- I dunno. We got on very well but at the same time I don't think she understood me truly. She was a great person, I honestly thought she was going to be my very first girlfriend." You cut her off. "Wait wait so you haven't dated anyone at ALL?" You knew she struggled to be in relationships.

But to have never been in some sort of one before, shocks you. "Never ever?" She lets out a breath. "Okay, sorry continue." You hear a tiny laugh come from her, making you smile a bit. "Anyway, I just couldn't do it. I knew I felt something but not enough to commit to anything serious like I knew she wanted. But I couldn't bring myself to let her go for so long. When one night she asked me, and I froze. I stood there trying to find some words to tell her nicely that I couldn't." Ellie stops for a second, which worried you. "Oh God, what did you do." There was silence. "I told her she wasn't relationship worthy.." Your mouth opens slightly. "Jesus Ellie." "I know, I'm not proud of it I'm really not. Especially her face after, I felt so bad deep inside but I think I made things worse with my dry facial expressions.." shocked would be an understatement. You had no idea how to respond. "No one knows that. Your actually the first person who knows the true story. The rest just made up silly rumors of how it ended, she left soon after so no one really knows the full story but me."

Still not knowing what to say you move your gaze to her. "Please say somethin." She says awkwardly. "You're not the best with words are you?" You let out a tiny giggle. She scratches her neck. "Is it obvious?" You shake your head slightly, with a roll of your eyes. "Dumbie." That silence you two always came across, occurs. You love it, it was comforting if you were quite honest. "We aren't doing much reading." She pipes up, making you look at her. "We aren't are we." You laugh a bit, setting it down and going to stand. "Where are you off to?" Honestly you didn't know, but you felt like putting music on. "Going to get my speaker, I always put on some music when Angela is out." Ellie learns more about you everyday. "What kind of music. Some heavy metal shit." Another laugh escapes you. "What do you take me for?" "I dunno, you surprise me very often." You had the speaker in hand, setting it down on the coffee table. "Honestly, if I like a song I like it, I don't have a specific type." She smiles. "Well said." You turn your head, looking at her. "And you?" She thinks for a sec, letting out a hum in thought. "Well as long as it's not some yehaw shit." This makes you laugh, harder than you have before. "Really? Now that's something I would've thought you'd like." She scoffs, throwing one of the pillows that were rested on the couch at your face.

But you catch it quickly. "Ugh, rude." Throwing it back at her she just laughs. You grab your phone and play your Playlist, sitting back down in the position you were in before. "So, loves to read, doesn't like heavy metal, is very ticklish." The last one makes you pinch her shoulder, resulting in her holding her arm with dramatics. "What else am I going to find out about you." You think for a moment. "I guess you'll have to wait and see." She tilts her head. "You a party person?" Honestly you had no idea, you hadn't been to the kind of party she's talking about in your entire life, so how could you tell if you liked them or not. "Can't judge when I've never been to one." Now it was her who was gobsmacked. "Never, ever?" She quotes you from before. "Shut up. I find fun in other things." She looks offended. "I've been to some pretty wicked parties ma'am." You roll your eyes. "You love doing that too, don't you?" She points at your face. "What? Roll my eyes?" She nods. "They'll get stuck like that if you aren't careful." She says, seeming serious but you knew she was being a dickhead.

"Oh Har Har." "No need to fake laugh around me. We all know how hard I can make you laugh." You raise a brow. "Oh really?" She nods. "Yes really, I'm the master." She notices the look on your face and smiles wickedly. "Challenge accepted." "Wait-" But she pounces on you, going straight to tickling you. You try to push her off, giggling as you do so. "Ok ok stop, point proven." Shes now laughing too, but they both die down as your eyes meet. As corny as that sounds its true, you two were currently so close to one another. You could feel the coolish air from her nose. Then something just clicks in her brain and. "Y/n." You keep the eye contact. "Mhmmmm." "I think I like you." You let out another giggle. "You think?" The look that's on her face makes you giggle more. "No like I know I do.." There was a long pause which made Ellie worry. "Is this the first time you've ever said that to someone." She nods reluctantly. You soon become more serious. "Like actually like me?" You sit up, staring at her at the confession. "I've never said that to a girl before. Never."

Looking down, you take in this information. "I think I like you too Els." You let a small smile slip but she just playfully rolls her eyes. "So what now then?" That, she hadn't thought too far into. But as she wonders what this could become those bad thoughts of hurting you cross her mind, usually she wouldn't care. Horrible as that is she never did care. Maybe you truly are changing her. And what she does next truly shocks the crap out of you. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

You had said yes. Ofcourse you were thinking of those thoughts too, but you had hope she wouldn't, consider yourself stupid? Maybe. You just wanted to live in the moment, if anything keeping it a secret was the most hardest thing throughout this all. The first time you and Ellie kissed you were just hanging out in your room, Angie was home and she had come in without knocking, thank goodness she saw nothing. You've also gotten closer with Jesse and Dina, they were so kind. You were sitting with them and Ellie one day having some food in the small Cafe they have down there. "I'm just going to get some more of that Cake, you want any?" She looks at you, you just shake your head no. As she goes to leave tho, Dina turns to you. "She has this new glow to her." A hum leaves your lips as you eat. "Maybe being around you is changing her." She continues. "If so can you like stay forever." Jesse then speaks. It made you laugh slightly. "I'm not going anywhere." They look at eachother. "Well that's if she doesn't do anything stupid." Damn, even her close friends have no hope in her. You'd be lying If you said that didn't worry you much.

More time passes and it's getting harder to keep the secret, you didn't really care for what anyone else had to say about it, but you sure did worry about Angie, Dina, and Jesse. You had bonded with all of them so well you didn't want them to hate you entirely. Today, you weren't as careful. You were currently hanging out with Dina and Jesse in your room, chilling. When you hear a knock at the door. "Hold up let me just get that." As you get up to go see who it was, you forgot to close your bedroom door. You open it, but before you can process anything you're being kissed, you froze. "Hey baby." Ellie then says after pulling away, gently grabbing the flesh of your ass. Open, your mouth was open in shock. "BABY?" You then heard Dina screech, coming out of your bedroom along with Jesse. "Uh oh-" Ellie then says, removing her hand. You swallow as you turn around slowly. "Ermmm." They were shocked. "Ain't no way." Dina continues. You were stumped. What were you suppose to say? "Really Ellie, another poor heart?" Ellie furrows her brows.

She was going to say something but you step in. "Hey, that's not entirely true. How do you know she will do that, she can change you kno-" Dina shakes her head. "She's not changing Y/n, she will hurt you." Ellie scoffs. "Right here you know." Dina looks at her. "Don't even think about hurting her, Ellie. Come on Jesse." They both go to leave. "We warned you." She says to you. You just stay quiet, watching as they go. Silence was left in the room. "I'm sorry I should've said something-" Ellie shakes her head. "Don't be, seriously. What's done is done it's not your fault, promise." She says, putting her hands on your shoulders then moving them to your cheeks. You nod slightly. "Well, do you think they hate us now?" She laughs a tad. "You? Never. Me? Always. But it's understandable so I can't blame them." You look down, it sadden you how they saw her, you knew she hadn't been so great in the past- but that was in the past. Right? She makes you look at her again, putting her thumb and index against your chin. "Don't worry about them or anything else yeah? That shouldn't be a concern." You nod at her words, getting on your tiptoes to kiss her. "Anyways are you hungry?" You asked as you make your way into the small kitchen you and Angie had.

Ellie shakes her head. "Well, not for food." She shrugs while having a sly smirk on her face, that makes you grab a piece of bread that was sitting on the counter and throw it at her. Which earns a chuckle from her lips. "You're gross." She holds her hands up. "Whattt can't admire my yummy girlfriend?" You roll your eyes. "Far from that-" "Ay! Dont talk about my girlfriend like that thank you very much." This only makes you laugh now, making her smile too. "Well, I'm going to have a snack because I'm quite hungry." You state, going over to grab something to munch on. You then feel hands on your waist, and a chin on your shoulder. "May I help you." She just shakes her head, soon after hiding it in your neck. "Nurp, comfy." That warmed your heart, she was such a sweet person. As you were fixing up some food you felt warm soft lips on your neck, so delicate and gentle. It made you close your eyes relishing in the tenderness. "You smell so good." She blurts out, keeping the warm kisses going. You hum in response. "You smell so.. bad." She pinches your waist making you giggle. "Ow!" "I don't smell bad, take that back!"

You only giggle more. "You smell like cigarettes." She gasps. "You've told me you love the way I smell! Liar!" You roll your eyes, but she swiftly turns you around in her arms, grabbing your face and squishing your cheeks. "Els-" She stares into your soul, making you laugh out. "What on earth are you doing?" "Shhh, making your eyes stay like the way they did since you love doing that so much." She continues to do whatever with her eyes. "Oh my god." You proceed to shove her off of you, but her grip tightens. "You're such an idiot." She smiles. "Yeah well I'm your idiot, so suck it up buttercup." She kisses your nose and loosens her grip, going to lean against the counter. "You really do look great today. Just thought I'd remind you." You smile sweetly at her. "You look pretty beautiful yourself." Shes now smiling too. "Im the pertyest." You laugh at the way she said it, making her smile grow. She could never get over how pretty your laugh was. It was her favorite thing, ever.

It had been a few months or so since you and Ellie first got together, maybe a bit longer but who's counting you. Currently you were making your way to her dorm, like most Friday nights. Knocking on the door to be greeted by your beautiful girlfriends green eyes. "Hey baby." You smile, and so does she. "Hello Ms thing. Come in come in." She moves out the way so you can enter, going straight to the couch and making yourself comfortable. "What have we got planned tonight?" You ask. You two usually always did a special something on a Friday night. Her roommate was out on most of them so you'd come over to Ellies. "Well I know how you feel about parties, and if you don't want to we can chill out here for the night, but there's one a few dorms down." You ponder this idea, and honestly, why not. You figure it'll be fun especially with Ellie and how enjoyable she could make anything be. "Sounds like a plan." She raises her brows, genuinely happy you agreed. "Awesome, I'm getting changed because I just came straight here from my last class." She mentions going to go do that.

You do a double take. "You? In class?" She scoffs. "Shut up." Which makes you smile. "Noo, it's great i'm glad." She shortly comes back out. "Your sarcasm is lovely." She sarcastically replies. "You ready?" You nod at her question. "Sure am."

The music was booming, so many crowds of people. The smell of alcohol and potentially what you assumed was drugs. Pleasant. "Oh this ones going to be a good one I can feel it." Ellie says looking around, scoping everything out. "You're so silly." "Come on let's get a drink." You follow but she knows you don't drink. "I'll be the sober help." She looks at you. "Not even one love?" Her question makes you shake your head as she puts a hand on your shoulder. "Alright, just make sure you're comfortable yeah?" She says before giving you a kiss. You smile at her words, beginning to feel weirdly anxious about the night, and you had no idea why.

People were everywhere it was all quite alot to take in. As you were sitting on Ellies lap you noticed how drunk she was. It was different seeing her like this. "Mmm I want another." She would slur. Making you let out a light giggle. "You're so gone Els-" "your laughs so pretty, makes my heart warm." She suddenly says. You smile more at her. "Well that's very kind of you." After a little you let out a sigh, you felt like you weren't being fun right now, you didn't want to disappoint Ellie but you had so much anxiety currently, and you had no idea on how to stop it. "Can you pretty please get me another drink my beautiful girlfriend." She taps your side, holding up her empty cup. You smile at how precious she was right now. "Sure can." You take it from her going to get off and head over to the drinks. As you're over there you feel someone next to you. "Here with Williams?" It was Kenny. You look at him. "Is that illegal?" He stares at you. "Are you dating her?" You huff. "What even is it to you Kenny?" He shakes his head. "Youre going to get hurt." "Im doing just fine thanks." You turn to leave, back to Ellie. "Here you go." You say a little dryly. "Thank youu." She muddles her words, grabbing it off of you. You sit back down in her lap. "Was he hassling you?" You hear her ask. "Who, Kenny? Nothing I can't handle my love." You reassure her, although you think it was slightly getting to you. She just nods in return.

The night went on, and your chest still had that same feeling, your anxiety was increasing. You wanted to have fun with your girlfriend and friends but you just couldn't seem to relax. It made you more anxious that Ellie wasn't with it. You're starting to think its childhood trauma that's making you feel this way, you didn't know how to just shut this weird feeling off. "You alright mama?" Ellie asks, rubbing your shoulder, still drunk as anything. You just nod and bite your lip, chewing that silky skin off nervously. "I'm just going to go for a pee." You tell her, getting up and heading to wherever the bathroom is. Once you find it you head in, going to the sink to splash water on your face in hopes it'd calm you down just a little bit. "You're fine, Y/n just take a breath and relax. Everything's fine." You say to your reflection. You leave, entering the booming party once again, going over to where Ellie was last seen but she's not there, odd. Making your way around you try to find her, hoping she's alright and she hasn't got into something bad, knowing how some idiots can be with drinks. As you make your way around the room your heart completely sinks to the floor, you stand there unable to move.

All your emotions crashing down on you. Shock being the main one, then anger. You truly couldn't believe any of it, was it some silly nightmare? There Ellie was just stuck to some girl. Kissing her. After that shock wears off you felt your anxiety push your anger into motion, moving your feet over to her. You make a cough noise, seeing her pull back from it turning slightly. She may of been drunk but she knew exactly what had happened. "Fuck-" She says under her breath. "Wait baby no i-" You grab her drink and chuck it in her face. "No." You point at her, the girl silently sneaking off. "Ellie what the actual fuck." She just stares at you. Now you feel your tears now they start to come, and her heart breaks. Tears spill at the sight you just witnessed, she's never seen you cry before. You're always so cheerful. So it truly ruins her. "Y/n no no please-" "After everything we've been through, after what you told me. They were wrong. You cant change for anyone. I should've listened to them." She immediately shakes her head. "Don't say that please- it was an accident fuck- she just-" But you shove the cup into her chest. "Shut up Ellie." And she does but she needed to tell you how sorry she was.

After a second of standing there you couldn't look at her anymore. "Wait-" She pleads as you begin to walk off, getting lost in the crowd of people, it was such a huge room you had no idea where you were even heading. The anxiety approaches again, all you wanted was to get back to the comfort of your own room. Your tears still dripping slightly, fogging your vision. You plop down on a random sofa, feeling a panic attack arise. Which freaks you out as you haven't had one of those in many years. You try to even out your breathing, which you managed to do. But everything was so overwhelming. Someone sits next to you, and great it was none other than Kenny. "Did she do something." You sigh. "Good God Kenny. Please just stop." He scoffs. "So im right, correct? Fucking Williams." You turn your head away, just wanting to get out of this unfamiliar place. He places a hand on your leg, making you stiffen. "I'm sorry she did, you never should deserve something like that." This makes you turn your attention to him. "She always steals the girls I like. And ruins their lives." Your eyes widen. "Wha-" "I could treat you so much better." He says. You were baffled by this. "Kenny what are you even-" When you couldn't think this night could get worse, it does. He goes to try and kiss you but you dodge it immediately, standing to your feet. "Kenny no- im really not interested." He begins to stand too. "That's what she said." You smelt it on his breath. "Kenny you're drunk, I think you need some water-"

He shakes his head getting close to you again, your overwhelming anxiousness comes back again, especially once you see him flush to the floor. Your attention is now on Ellie who punched the living shit out of him. "Ellie what the fu-" "He touched you!" You facepalm. "Good God I have nowhere near enough energy for this shit." The night couldn't get any worse as Kenny stands back up, the two drunk as anything. "You bitch." He goes to swing at her but she moves. "Fight round two then, you fucker." She begins it all. You don't even know what to do anymore. "You're both children." You state, going to try find the exit. You had to get back, this night was all too much. But Ellie notices you leaving, so she goes after you. "Wait no- please let me explain!" She grabs your arm but you yank it. "No Ellie. Don't ever touch or even speak to me again." "They weren't right, you have changed me i swear to you!" You shake your head. "Once a dick. Always a dick. You. Have. Not. Changed." You spat.

[rpmemes-galore]

Chappell Roan : The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess album ... sentence starters

tw for some sexual content and language

"Is it casual now?"

"You're losing it lately."

"I'm so sick of online love."

"It's gonna cause a scene."

"You wonder why I'm bitter…"

"I just wanna get to know ya."

"You coming home with me?"

"We're hot, we're drunk, wow."

"Won't make my mama proud."

"Mini skirt and my go-go boots."

"But I can't help what I can't help."

"Baby, why don't you come over?"

"Let's make this bed get squeaky."

"So slow down, sit down, it's new."

"Got so close, but then you lost it."

"Oh my god, you are heaven sent…"

"If karma's real, hope it's your turn."

"It's comical, the bridges you burn."

"Should've listened to your friends."

"If I didn't love you, it would be fine."

"Fell in love with the thought of you."

"So, baby, let's get freaky, get kinky."

"I thought you thought of me better."

"It's hot when you have a meltdown."

"Do you picture me like I picture you?"

"She showed me things I didn't know."

"Every place leads back to your place."

""Here we go, again. Everything is fine."

"Not overdramatic, I know what I want."

"And he was wearing these fugly jeans."

"Touch me, baby, put your lips on mine."

"Wishing you the best, in the worst way."

"This is what I wanted, this is what I like."

"Oh, some good girls do bad things, too."

"Can't be a good, good girl even if I tried."

"I try not to care, but it hurts my feelings."

"I love a little drama, let's start a bar fight."

"It's all in my head, but I want non-fiction."

"You're hating yourself, I'm feeling myself."

"I know you want it, baby, you can have it."

"I could be the one, or your new addiction."

"Never waste a Friday night on a first date."

"Now I'm choked up, face down, burnt out."

"I've been a good, good girl for a long time."

"But, baby, I like flirting, a lover by my side."

"So, now when we kiss, I have anger issues."

"I don't want the world, but I'll take this city."

"Could go to hell, but we'll probably be fine."

"Every night's another reason why I left it all."

"Got what you wanted, so stop feeling sorry."

"Ruined my credit, stole my cute aesthetic…"

"'Cause if we do coffee, it's never just coffee."

"I try to be the chill girl but, honestly, I'm not."

"We're leaving the planet and you can't come."

"People say I'm jealous, but my kink is karma."

"You'll say that you're sorry. I know that's a lie."

"Can't meet you for dinner at the Italian place."

"Um, can you play a song with a fucking beat?"

"Here come the excuses that fuel the illusions."

"That’s my type of fun, that's my kind of party."

"Who can blame a girl? Call me hot, not pretty."

"You don't have to stare, comе here, get with it!"

"I guess we could pretend we didn't cross a line."

"And you're getting pissed off, it's getting me off."

"'Cause everything good happens after midnight."

"If you really wanna leave, I'll never make you stay."

"No need to be hateful in your fake Gucci sweater."

"To think, I almost had it going, but I let you down."

"No one's touched me there in a damn hot minute!"

"I'm feeling kinda freaky, maybe it's the moonlight."

"I'm feeling kinda freaky, maybe it's the club lights."

"There's no one else who could. the only one is you."

"You sent him pictures and playlists and phone sex."

"I heard you like magic. I've got a wand and a rabbit."

"I kinda wanna kiss your girlfriend, if you don't mind."

"We've done this before, and I don't need it anymore."

"It's not attractive wearing that dress and red lipstick."

"If it hasn't happened, yet, then maybe you should go."

"Who knew that we'd let it get this bad when it ended?"

"He doesn't have what it takes to be with a girl like me."

"I hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell."

"My friends call me a loser, 'cause I'm still hanging around."

"Baby, do you like this beat? I made it so you'd dance with me."

"I'm too scared to say half of the things I do when I picture you."

"Nothing good happens when it's late and you're dancing alone."

"And you're getting called out, 'cause you're running your mouth."

"'Cause if we have wine, 'cause if we have wine. I know that's a lie."

"Lying to your friends about how he's such a goddamn good lover."

"What's it take to get your number? What's it take to bring you home?"

"Should've listened to your friends 'bout his girlfriend back in Boston."

"Knee deep in the passenger seat and you're eating me out, is it casual now?"

[lowkeychenle]

the 1 [NJM] (M)

Description: Six years ago, you decided to move away to a different country to go to school. The catch? You had to leave Jaemin behind, and you refused to drag him along. Now you're back and, for some reason, he doesn't quite seem to hate you in the way you thought he would.

(this is inspired by the Taylor Swift song by the same name, listen to it here)

Genre: Fluff/Smut/Angst TRIPLE THREAT (?? am i okay)

Content Warnings: Explicit sex, break ups, the angst isn't too bad I don't think. Just break up stuff l o l (also don't judge any typos or repetitions I didn't edit this because I wrote this whole thing today someone save me from myself) (also also I am totally working on all requests still, I just get random inspo sometimes and when it hits, it hits)

Word Count: 10,012 (yoo for why did I make this so long help)

Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader (this is a non-canon AU, Jaemin is a lil businessman and the rest of Dream make appearances here. PS, Best Friend!Donghyuck y'all)

Juliet's Masterlist

Honestly, you never thought you’d make your way back to Seoul. Not when you didn’t have much to come back to. Leaving for college was the scariest decision you’d ever made, but you’re so much better off for it. The experience of living in another country—even if it just for school—is the best thing you’ve ever done.

But Seoul is home. Home is where the heart is, and yours has always resided here, even long after you left. You wonder about the friends you left behind, knowing you haven’t been the best at keeping up with them.

You especially think of Jaemin. The two of you were both twenty-two when you left and, at the time, you would’ve said you were in love with him. You’d been dating for a year before you made your decision.

You don’t think of him in a way that you still have feelings for him, but rather, you want the best for him. If anything, you want to know he’s been as successful as you after you walked away from him.

“America?” Jaemin raises his eyebrows, recoiling at the thought. “I mean, that’s a great opportunity, but wouldn’t it be hard?”

“Of course, it’ll be hard. I think I need to do this before it’s too late for me.” You look down at your hands to avoid eye contact with him. The last thing you want to do is break his heart. Hell, you’ll be breaking your own, too. But being in love with Jaemin doesn’t mean you have to stop everything going on in your life to make sure you keep him.

“How long?” he asks.

“The standard degree path is four years over there, but it could take longer.”

He pauses, gulping. “Wow. You’ll be gone for four years?”

“Yeah.” You pick at your nails and clear your throat. “This is…This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, Jaem. I can’t miss it.”

“I know. I wouldn’t want you to. Um, I guess I’m just nervous as to what that means for us.”

“I love you.” You reach for his hand, intertwining your fingers. “I love you so much, but I can’t ask you to wait for me for four years. Or longer.”

“It’s not like we won’t talk. We have calls, FaceTime, we have everything. However long you need, we’ll work it out.” He tilts his head. At your hesitation, worry spreads across his face.

“I…I don’t know if I’ll come back at all, is what I mean.” You finally meet his gaze and watch the shock course through him.

“Okay, then I’ll move there, too,” he replies, as if it were simple. His forehead wrinkles as he frowns. “If that’s what you want, I can do that. We’ve only been together a year, (Y/N), that’s not long enough for me. I need forever. I promised you forever and I meant it.”

“I won’t ask you to do that.” You shake your head, feeling your eyes well with tears. “Your family’s here. Your friends. We both know you wouldn’t want to move away from your mom forever.”

Jaemin lets out a short breath, tugging his hand away from yours and running it through his hair. “So that’s it? There’s no way I can convince you?”

“You deserve someone who wants the same things you do. The same life. If I can’t give that to you, someone else will. I love you, but sometimes, love isn’t always enough if we’re being pulled in different directions.”

“I won’t just forget about you. You’re just going to disappear?” He wipes away a tear, rolling his eyes.

“You don’t have to forget about me. I’m not forgetting about you. I just need to do something for myself, and I can’t force you along with me.”

The barista jolts you from your trance, asking you if there’s something she can help you with. You clear your throat, hoping you’ll be able to talk past the lump in your throat. After ordering your favorite coffee, you stand off to the side to wait for it.

The door dings behind you, but you think nothing of it. You continue about your business, checking your phone for the time and waiting for your drink. A message comes through from your friend Donghyuck asking if you’d gotten everything settled already.

You and Jaemin had the same friend group. That’s how you met, actually. Donghyuck brought you over to one of their group hang outs, and you and Jaemin clung to each other like glue. It was inevitable that you two would end up dating, and when you did, literally not one of them were surprised.

You send him a quick message back saying everything’s good, and then the barista calls your name. Smiling at her, you walk up to grab the steaming hot cup. Nearly groaning to yourself about how good it smells, you turn around to walk toward the door.

That’s when you see him.

Jaemin.

You haven’t seen him in years. Sure, you still had each other on social media, but you never went out of your way to look at him. Five years has done him well and, at first, you’re unsure if you should say anything. He’s staring right at you, but it doesn’t feel like an invitation. It feels weird.

He’s clearly not the same Jaemin he was, but he’s Jaemin.

And right when you think he’s going to storm off in the other direction and want nothing to do with you, he smiles widely and approaches you. His smile is as gorgeous as it was before, maybe even more so. Normally, this would do little to bother you. You two ended on somewhat good terms, so there’s no reason for either of you to be holding a grudge all this time later.

He wears black pants with a pale pink button-down tucked into them. There isn’t another word to describe him other than divine. He looks good. 

With his hands buried in his pockets, he makes his way over. “I thought that was you.”

“Yeah, it’s me.” You laugh shortly, surprised that you don’t feel too awkward now that he’s in front of you. “Wow, how long has it been?”

As if you don’t know.

“Five years?” he says it like a question. “It hasn’t been that long since we’ve talked though. I guess things are just hard with time zones, aren’t they?”

You give an exaggerated nod. “Totally get that. Well, how have you been?”

“Busy.” He snorts, widening his eyes. “Busy like you wouldn’t believe. Did you end up getting your degree over there? Have you been to see Donghyuck yet?”

“I got the very expensive piece of paper, yes. And I haven’t seen him yet, no. I got back two days ago and have been trying to get things settled before I take a break.” You sip your coffee, almost sighing at the taste of vanilla on your tongue.

“I’m proud of you.” He purses his lips. “Not sure if that means much, but I am. I’m glad it worked out the way you wanted.”

“Thank you. It means a lot, especially from you. What did you decide to do here?” you ask him, tilting your head a bit.

“I’m surprised you didn’t hear,” Jaemin says. “Renjun, Chenle, Jeno, and I opened a business a couple years back. We’ve been doing pretty well, but it doesn’t really leave us with much time for anything else.”

“Holy shit, Jaem, that’s awesome.” You can’t help but grin at him. “I always knew you guys were destined for great things.”

You think back to when you’d hang out with all of them—Jaemin, Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Donghyuck, Chenle, and Jisung. Every Saturday night, you’d all get together for drinks at someone’s house, a constant rotation of happiness, friendship, and pure adoration. You love all of them, albeit in different ways, you feel a strong connection to them all. Being without them for so long has certainly made you nostalgic, but you’re sure you’ll at least see some of them now that you’re back.

You’re not sure if Jaemin will ever be comfortable hanging out with you. Neither of you were particularly bitter in your breakup, but it wasn’t mutual. You didn’t even want it, and he certainly didn’t either. But Jaemin has always been understanding—almost to a fault. He would never ask you to do something if it was against what you wanted to do.

“You know.” He pauses, running his tongue over his teeth. “Are you busy? I’m on my lunch, so if you want to catch up a little, I have the time.”

You hesitate, unsure if it’s a good idea. Before you and Jaemin dated, he was an excellent friend, too. Your only worry at this point is if things will be awkward between the two of you, but it doesn’t seem to be that way yet.

“Yeah, actually.” You take another sip of your coffee, cradling your jacket over your arm to your chest.

He gives you another dazzling smile and gestures over to a small table by the window. “After you.”

You sit down, shrugging your purse from your shoulder and hanging it from the back of the chair. He follows your lead, black hair falling like a curtain over his forehead as he leans forward to bring the seat closer. An odd urge to brush it away overtakes you, but you grab your coffee instead.

Your past with Jaemin is long gone. He’s definitely moved on to bigger, better things, and so have you. Your time in America wasn’t wasted, and you knew from Donghyuck the moment Jaemin moved on from you. It didn’t hurt the way you thought it would. You wanted him happy and cared for, and if you couldn’t do it, you hoped and prayed someone else would.

That was three years ago, but Donghyuck never talked about Jaemin to you again, unless it was something small that happened in a group setting. At that point, you’d also moved on, so as long as he was alive and thriving, you didn’t need to hear about it. Everything was okay.

You’ll always hold an unmatched adoration for the man sitting in front of you. He was your first real love, but everyone knows not everything in your early twenties lasts. It’s true what they say—that you never truly forget your first love. That, and how once you love someone, you’ll always hold some sort of affection for them in your heart.

You tell Jaemin of all the things you got to do in America, and he listens intently. In turn, he tells you about his business and how they grew it from the ground up. It’s one of the largest companies in South Korea, and your heart warms with pride.

Everything you did makes sense. You did it for a good reason. If he had dropped everything and come with you to America, he wouldn’t be doing what he loves. Eventually, you were sure he would’ve grown to resent you if he had gone.

Before you know it, the two of you have been talking for well over an hour. Your coffee is gone, the small bit left at the bottom chilled. On a whim, he checks his watch and recoils in shock.

“Oh shit,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even realize how long we’d been here.”

“It’s no big deal,” you reply, waving him off. “I’ll get going though.”

“Actually…So the guys and I still do Saturday nights. If you want to come this Saturday, it’s at my place. If you want, I can text you the address.” He taps his fingers on the table.

“Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun. It’ll be nice to see everyone. I did get a new number though, so let me give it to you.” You reach into your purse for your phone so you can find it. Since you had to switch plans when you moved back, you don’t really know it yet either.

You read it off to him, and he purses his lips while he sends his address to you in a text message. Afterwards, he stands up and brushes off his pants.

“It’ll be just like old times. Jisung is finally old enough to drink, too.” Jaemin chuckles to himself before running his fingers through his hair to push it back. “I’ll see you Saturday? We start at six.”

“Absolutely. I’ll be there.” You watch as he retreats away from you, head held high as he walks out of the coffee shop. He was confident back when you dated, but he’s even more so, and for good reason. No matter what, it’s like he gets increasingly attractive as he ages.

As soon as he’s out of sight, you tap your cheeks to get the slight blush off of them. You didn’t expect to run into him like that, not so soon, but you’re glad you did. Everything happens for a reason, and you’re glad he’s okay with everyone hanging out. You’d hate to lose out on your friends because they have to pick sides.

The encounter stays heavy on your mind even until the next day when you’re supposed to meet Donghyuck for lunch. Your apartment is on the smaller side, since most of your savings was spent to get over here.

The living room is a little under furnished, but it’s nothing you won’t accumulate as time goes on. You have a soft loveseat, a TV mounted to the wall, and a small hallway off to the side that contains your kitchen and all the appliances. Your bedroom is on the left side, big enough only for your bed and a dresser.

You stand in front of the bathroom mirror, trying your best to look at least presentable. You’ve been exhausted lately. Moving countries, across the world, takes a toll on you. At least today is Thursday. You have a job interview tomorrow, and then you’ll get to see your friends on Saturday. Your heart aches for them. They were the best friends you ever had, a complete, close knit group of people who just function so well together. There wasn’t anything else in the world like it.

You go to the small sandwich shop, finding Donghyuck already sitting there waiting for you. His face lights up like a Christmas tree at the sight of you, and his chair scrapes across the floor as he hurries to get up and hug you. He squeezes you so tightly, you almost can’t breathe. You laugh anyway, returning the gesture the best you can.

“My God, I feel like I haven’t seen you in years!” he says, smiling widely. “Shit, you’re not allowed to move out of the country again.”

You roll your eyes, nudging him. “You came to visit six months ago.”

“Six months is still half a year, (Y/N). Never again.”

“Luckily for you, I do plan on staying.” You wait for him to release you before the two of you head over to the line to order.

“Every time I see you, it’s like you’ve grown up more.” Donghyuck fakes a pout, shaking his head. “Look at you, being an adult in the world.”

“Shut your mouth,” you say. “You’re only a year older than me.”

“A year is plenty of time for extra wisdom.” He crosses his arms over his chest, raising his eyebrows like his point is valid.

He orders for both of you, insisting on paying even though you’re about ready to wrestle his wallet out of his hands. It doesn’t matter if you had a billion dollars, he would still insist. That’s always what he’s been for you, your best friend. He takes care of you even when you don’t need it.

“So, when’s your interview?” he asks, accepting the cups from the person at the counter. Handing it to you, he leads you over to the fountain, filling his with Coke Zero.

“I’m glad to see some things never change.” You grin, picking your favorite drink as well. “It’s tomorrow. I’m hoping it works out, because job searching is so tiring.”

“Tell me about it. I’m sure it’ll go great. You’re multilingual and stuff. Employers love that shit.”

Before you respond, the order is ready. You two walk back to your table, conversing back and forth about random things. The conversation takes a turn, and you’re surprised when he actually brings it up.

“Jaemin said he invited you for Saturday.” Donghyuck sips his drink. “Are you going?”

You frown. “Well, yeah. I wouldn’t miss something like that. It’s been too long since I’ve seen everyone.”

“I know that. It’s not weird with you and him, though?”

“Not at all.” You chew the inside of your cheek as you contemplate. “I was worried it would be, but we caught up a little. He seems to be doing really well. If it’s not awkward for him, it won’t be for me. I’d love to be reinstated in the friend group.”

“Reinstated?” He scrunches his nose. “That implies that you were ever un-instated.”

“Is…is that a word?” You chuckle.

“I don’t know. Sounds right to me.” He shrugs, taking a large bite of his sandwich. “I did tell them you were coming back, but also that I didn’t know if you’d be comfortable with that. They all miss you. I swear, Jisung has been talking my ear off asking when we’ll all get together. He’ll be so happy you’re coming.”

Jisung has always been the baby of the group. Even as a full grown adult, you all treat him like a child. He doesn’t complain about it, and he feeds into it probably a bit more than he should. You learn Mark and Donghyuck live together, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jeno live in their own places, and Jisung and Renjun live together. You’re a bit shocked by the last pairing, but you don’t say anything about it.

“Just promise me that if it does get weird, you’ll tell me?”

“I’ll tell you. Promise.” You nod. “I don’t think it will. It was years ago, Hyuck. He moved on, I moved on, and we’re completely different people now. Neither of us are mad.”

“Good. It’ll be nice to have the family back together again.”

After lunch, Donghyuck drives you home. You thank him for the ride, and you head up to your apartment. Regardless of what you say out loud, your brain truly is whirling like crazy after your time with Jaemin.

You didn’t expect seeing him to send you for a loop like this, but you can’t help but think back to how happy you were with him. You two were…something. Maybe not perfect, but it was fun. Magnetic. Passionate. Everything you’ve tried to replicate, even though it’s impossible. No other man could ever be Jaemin.

Your mind drifts off, and you lose yourself in memories.

Saturday nights were a novelty. You sit on Chenle’s couch with Jaemin practically hung over you, the rest of the guys talking simultaneously and incredibly loudly. You didn’t mind it. In fact, you loved it. It reminded you how many people you had by your side, and how many of them were truly like you.

Jaemin kisses your temple, pausing there for a moment. It’s late, and you know he’s getting tired. Even though these are your best friends, you understand his need to wind down after a long night. You bring your wine glass up to your lips, finishing it off.

“Ready?” he asks softly.

You glance over at him and nod, smiling. “Yeah, let me go put this away.”

When you stand up, hardly anyone notices. Chenle and Jisung are basically yelling at each other about something you can’t discern. You laugh when Chenle argues with dramatic hand motions. That’s how you know it’s serious.

You’re pretty sure Renjun has Jeno in a headlock, but you go into the kitchen before you get a good look. It’s a bit quieter in here, and you take a deep breath. You place the glass gently into the sink, closing your eyes and craning your neck back in an attempt to relax. Saturday nights drain you in the best ways, and exhaustion is starting to creep in.

Before you know it, a pair of arms snake around your waist, tugging you back gently. You find yourself against Jaemin’s chest, and you instinctively lean your head on his shoulder.

“And I thought I was tired,” he mumbles, kissing your hairline. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. Can I stay with you tonight?” You turn to face him, lost in the way the lights glitter in his deep brown eyes. He truly is the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, and you don’t have to restrain yourself from reaching up to cup his cheek. His skin is so smooth beneath your touch, you want to touch it forever.

“You don’t even have to ask.” He nods. “You’re always allowed to stay with me.”

Jaemin tells the boys you’re leaving. Chenle and Jisung halt their argument to give you a hug, and even Renjun allows Jeno some breathing time so he can say goodbye, too. Jaemin’s place isn’t far from Chenle’s, so you sit in silence for the ride, sleep threatening to take over on the way.

His fingers intertwine with yours over the center console, and his thumb rubs gently on your skin. You hum in content.

“Don’t fall asleep yet,” he whispers, careful not to startle you. “We’re almost there, my love.”

You try your best to listen to him. When you finally pull into his building’s parking lot, you’re barely able to keep your eyes open.

This week had been extra long, and you weren’t sure if you’d be able to go to Chenle’s tonight in the first place. You’re glad you did, but you’d much rather be curled up with Jaemin. He unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out, striding over to your side of the car.

Opening your door, he reaches across you to take your seatbelt off. “You okay? Do you want me to carry you?”

“Carry me? Jaem, you live on the fourth floor. I’ll be fine, just help me up.” You hold your hand out to him, but he clicks his tongue and slides his hands beneath your back and knees.

“You underestimate me,” he teases you, pulling you into his chest. “I’ll get you upstairs.”

Instead of arguing, you let your head fall onto his chest and you listen to his steady heartbeat. You’ve been together for six months now, and everything has been perfect. At this point, you’re pretty sure you want to marry Jaemin. You don’t know if he feels the same way, but you know you’d be damn lucky if that’s how things go.

He’s caring. Loving. All the things you could ever ask for. Hell, he’s carrying you into his apartment building so you don’t have to walk. He’ll make breakfast in the morning like he always does when you stay the night, and he’ll brush your hair and braid it if you want.

When you finally make it up to the fourth floor (via elevator, thankfully for Jaemin), his heart is still steady in his chest, and he brings you inside his apartment easily. He immediately brings you into his bedroom, setting you on his bed.

“Want a shirt, love?” he asks, heading over to his dresser.

“Please.” Your eyes are closed as you rest on his pillow, sinking into the soft mattress as if you’re on top of a cloud.

Jaemin grabs one for you, helping you sit up so he can help you take your blouse off. He pulls it over your head, the cotton fabric settling on your skin. It smells of his laundry detergent, so you take a deep breath to appreciate it.

“Okay,” he mutters. “Lay down now.”

He guides you back down, and he finds the button on your jeans. You aide him in taking them off of you, and then he kneels on the floor next to you, eye level with you.

“I love you,” he says, brushing your hair behind your ear. “Forever. I promise.”

“Me too,” you reply, voice quiet. “Love you forever.”

With a soft smile, he leans forward to kiss your forehead. “Get some sleep, my love. I’ll be back to cuddle in a few minutes.”

You watch him walk into his bathroom, but you’re fast asleep before he comes back out.

Forever. You scoff at your ceiling. What a concept. A novelty, really. You’re not even sure if it exists at this point. If a man like Jaemin wasn’t your forever, who the hell would be? Nobody interested you enough. You don’t think you want Jaemin anymore, but you don’t want anyone else either.

A cat. That’s what you need.

You try to distract yourself with the thought of that, but it doesn’t take long for another memory to completely consume you.

“Is this okay?” he asks, chest heaving while he hovers above you as his hand rubs up and down your side. “Tell me if you’re not comfortable.”

“I love you,” you tell him easily, as if the words are second-nature when they come to him. “I’m ready. I want you.”

Seven months in, and you and Jaemin were just now preparing to have sex for the first time. You’d touched each other, explored each other, but he always insisted he wanted it to be perfect. This, you decide, is perfect. He’s perfect. Nothing about him makes you nervous, and you’re more than ready to take the next step with him.

Neither of you are virgins, but it’d obviously been a while for you both. He lines himself up with your entrance and groans.

“You’re so wet,” he murmurs, as if he’s mesmerized. “I love you.”

To quell his nerves, you pull him down into a soft kiss, letting your mouths work together in perfect harmony while he slowly, carefully pushes inside you. His lips part, still pressed to yours, once he’s fully in.

Your eyes desperately want to flutter shut, but you don’t dare look away from him right now. He stays there for a moment, relishing in the feeling of the two of you finally being connected like this. Jaemin is deeply sentimental, so you know how much it means for him to take this step with you.

“You’re so beautiful,” he groans, taking your bottom lip between his teeth and tugging gently. “God, you feel so good.”

A small whimper leaves you at the sensation, and you rock your hips in response. “Move,” you tell him.

He drops his head to your neck, kissing, sucking, and nipping as he sets his pace. Oh so careful not to break you, he moans into your skin, the vibrations making your whole body tremble. The slide of him against your walls is intoxicating, and all you can do is take it, legs locked firmly around him as he takes you to a new world.

“Jaem.” You sigh, running your fingers through his hair for encouragement.

He continues to thrust, his breathing starting to increase when he gets closer to the edge. Without missing a beat, he reaches between the two of you to rub circles on your clit. You moan a bit louder than you should, but you don’t care.

Suddenly, you’re floating, brain going fuzzy when you reach heights you never thought you could. Your back arches into his body, nails digging into his shoulders as the world tilts off its axis.

“Shit,” he gasps, hips bucking. “You’re squeezing me so tight.”

You let out a shuddering breath, body slumping when you land from your free fall. Weaving your fingers through his hair, you pull him up to kiss you, swallowing his breathy whine as he cums.

Both of you sit there for a few moments, the only sounds are from the panting. He rests more of his weight on top of you, enveloping you in all the heat pouring out of his body. With a sweet kiss, he hums into your mouth.

“We’re gonna have to do that again.” He chuckles, his nose nuzzling your cheek. “You’re so fucking perfect.”

“Says you,” you retort.

“I’m so serious.” Jaemin frowns at you. “I’m going to make love to you forever. We’ll get old and gray and I’ll still find you sexy.”

You laugh, smacking his chest. “You’re ridiculous. But you better mean that.”

“I’ve never meant anything more.”

When Saturday rolls around, you head into your closet to pick out an outfit. You don’t want to wear anything too fancy, but not too casual either. Settling on a flowy, pale pink top and a pair of jeans, staring at yourself in the mirror for much too long.

No part of today has to be weird. You’ll show up, have a great night, go home, and repeat it again the next week. Even knowing that, you’re more nervous for tonight than you were for your interview yesterday.

You think you got the job, but you’d hear back for sure on Monday. Logically, you have nothing to worry about on either end.

You put Jaemin’s address into the map on your phone, and you see it’s not too far from your apartment. Donghyuck offered to pick you up, but you decided it’d be best if you got there on your own. That way, you don’t have to make Hyuck leave early if things aren’t going well for you.

You slide on your boots, checking your pockets to make sure you have everything before you walk out into the street. Locking the door behind you, you make your way over. It’s a little before six, but everyone knows you’re chronically early. Even when you and Jaemin were dating, you were at least fifteen minutes early for every occasion.

You’re excited to see Jaemin again, but you know you shouldn’t be. In fact, you distract yourself with the idea of all the other boys. You saw Hyuck already, but seeing all the others for the first time in years is going to be a great experience.

When you arrive at the building, you blink in surprise. With him being a successful businessman, you knew he probably didn’t live in the same place, but this one shocked you. It’s huge. There are probably dozens of floors, and you have to look at his text message again to see which one he’s on.

Twenty-four? Holy shit.

You step into the lobby, and the man at the front desk also serves as an elevator guard. When you approach, he raises his eyebrows at you.

“Where are you needing to go, ma’am?” he asks.

“Twenty-fourth floor, it doesn’t say a number on the text, though—”

“Let me call up there to confirm. What’s your name?”

“(Y/N),” you reply, shifting on your feet.

“One moment, please.” He grabs the phone off the hook and dials quickly. “Mr. Na, I have a woman here to see you. Her name is (Y/N).”

It only takes a second for the man to nod and hang up the phone. He bows his head to you and gestures behind him. “He said he’s expecting you.”

The doors part for you and you step inside, and somehow, the button for the twenty-fourth floor is already pressed. You wait patiently inside as you ascend, the nerves beginning to sink in. Jaemin might be expecting you, sure, but you’re probably going to be the first one there. You always are.

When the elevator dings and opens, you expect a hallway. Instead, you’re walking straight into Jaemin’s living room. The wall across from you is all glass, the buzzing city view below making your heart drop. Hardwood flooring covers the expanse of the room, a faux fireplace on with a large sectional in front of it, a coffee table, and several other seating arrangements.

A few bottles of rosé are in a bin of ice on the coffee table, with ten glasses set out. You frown, letting your mind wander on who they could be for.

“Oh, you’re here!” It’s not Jaemin’s voice you hear.

When you turn toward it, you’re surprised to see a woman. She’s beautiful, with long black hair and shining brown eyes, and it takes you less than a split second to realize who she is. What did you expect? Jaemin moved on, and you shouldn’t be surprised. Your ribcage shouldn’t be constricting as hard as it is right now, but you laugh as she gives you a hug.

“Sorry, I’m a hugger.” She chuckles as she pulls away from you. “I’ve heard so much about you. The boys get so crazy when good things happen. It’ll be nice to have another girl around here, Jiyoon and I are pretty close to insane. I’m Yeeun.”

She holds her hand out to you and you take it, overwhelmed by the information she’s given you. Jaemin walks out from the kitchen, his white button-down shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbows and the bottom hem tucked into a pair of blue jeans.

“Don’t scare her away.” Jaemin grins, shaking his head at her. “She’s kind of shy.”

“I’m not shy,” you retort.

“And that’s why you’re only one step inside, right?” Jaemin quirks an eyebrow, leaning his shoulder against the wall. “Make yourself at home. Lord knows everyone else does.”

“Where should I put my stuff?” I ask.

“The couch is fine. Everyone should be here soon.” Jaemin gestures over, but before you say anything else, he heads back into the kitchen.

“He’s so serious.” Yeeun cringes, walking with you to the couch. “Sometimes I think he’s got a stick in some places.”

“I can hear you,” Jaemin says.

You have to hold back another laugh.

“That’s the point,” she shouts back.

You take a seat and cross your legs, taking in the grandeur of Jaemin’s apartment. Various paintings hang on the walls and, in the midst of your concentration, something jumps in your lap. You gasp, throwing your hand over your mouth.

Thankfully, it’s just a kitten.

“Oh, that’s Luna.” Yeeun reaches over to give her a quick pet. “Jaemin’s got three cats. Luna, Lucy, and Luke. They kinda look similar, but you’ll learn them eventually.”

You stare at the animal in shock, wondering what convinced Jaemin to get three at once. Shrugging it off, you pick her up and hold her to your chest, running your hand over her soft fur.

“Chenle should be here any minute,” Yeeun says under her breath, glancing down at her phone. “Let me c—”

The elevator dings again, and Chenle walks in without a second thought. He tosses his jacket on the table and rolls his shoulders as if he’s done a bunch of work. Yeeun launches from the couch, and you can’t say you’re not relieved when you see her plant a kiss firmly on his lips. She’s not Jaemin’s girlfriend, she’s Chenle’s.

“You miss me after not seeing me for an hour?” he teases her, his arm wrapped around her waist.

“You’re so mean.” She scrunches her face, grabbing his hand and leading him over to the couch.

Chenle grins widely when he sees you and gives you a quick hug. “You finally decide to come back after five years?”

“Don’t be a brat.” You snort. “You’re elated I’ve returned.”

“We all are,” he says easily. “If I have to hear Hyuck cry one more time about you being thousands of miles away I might end him.”

“You and me both.”

“Oh, I had Yeeun come a little early. I knew you’d be atrociously early because you’re you, and I thought it might be weird with you and Jaemin alone, so…” Chenle lowers his voice.

“I appreciate you.” You smile, taking your spot back on the couch. “I’m okay, though. Really.”

Especially now that you know Jaemin’s not dating Yeeun.

“Chenle, I swear to God, if you eat all of this fucking board before everyone else gets here, I’m going to kill you.” Jaemin reenters, placing a charcuterie board down by the wine. “This took hours, dude.”

“I’ll leave it alone.” Chenle holds his hands up in mock surrender, sitting next to Yeeun and throwing his arm over her shoulders.

The next one to show up is Hyuck, who brings Mark in tow. They both hug you, and by now, conversation is flowing with everyone. Jeno is next, then Renjun and Jisung. You’re not sure what you were expecting from him, but he’s definitely turned into a grown up since the last time you’ve seen him.

“Holy shit,” you say, practically in awe. “Did you have seven growth spurts?”

“Actually, I think it was only one.” He laughs, patting your back. “I didn’t believe Hyuck when he said you were coming. Told him I’d have to see it with my own eyes first.”

When everyone is finally sitting down around the couch, you notice Chenle already eating some of the cheese. Jaemin glares at him, but he eventually gives up. You sit between Yeeun and Donghyuck, fading into the conversation in the way you used to. It warms your heart, and you have to fight the overwhelming feeling of having missed so much time.

Leaving was worth it. The experience you had was unlike any other, but you regretted not staying in contact with all of them—even Jaemin. Mark opens the wine first, pouring it into nine of the glasses.

“Where’s Jiyoon?” He frowns, directing his gaze to Jisung.

He shrugs. “She’ll be here soon. Her grandparents are in town, so she’s staying with her mom until they leave. But she shouldn’t be any later than seven-thirty.”

Your mind whirls at how they’re reacting to Jisung having a girlfriend like it’s normal. He’ll always be your baby brother in your eyes, regardless of blood relation.

“How’d your interview go?” Donghyuck asks you, roping you into the conversation.

“Oh, I think it went well. I find out for sure on Monday, so I’ll let you know.” You grin. “I’m ready to start making more money.”

“Why don’t you just come work for us?” Chenle offers. “I’m surprised Hyuck didn’t tell us you were looking for a job still.”

Donghyuck drops his head into his palm. “No shit, sherlock. Think about why I wouldn’t.”

“It doesn’t need to be like that,” Jaemin interjects, sighing. “(Y/N) and I are good. There’s no eggshells to walk on. Just let it go. Pretend it never happened.”

Pretend it never happened?

Your heart ping pongs around your chest, and you choke on your sip of wine. Everyone turns toward you and you chuckle nervously.

“Sorry. I wasn’t expecting this topic.” You set the glass down on the table, suddenly much less interested in it.

“If that’s what she wants, she can absolutely do that,” Jaemin continues. “If we’re ever going to be normal, we can’t be the only ones over it.”

You stare down at your lap, fidgeting with your hands as you try to ignore all the attention on you.

“Um.” You clear your throat. “I’m gonna go grab some water.”

You shoot up from your spot, darting into the kitchen before anyone can say anything else. Once you reach the island, you brace your palms on it to keep you afloat. You close your eyes and let out a deep breath.

“Hey,” Jaemin murmurs, stopping next to you. “Are you okay? I’m sorry if that was too much.”

“I’m fine.”

“Did I say something?” He furrows his eyebrows and shifts closer so you have to look at him.

“No, Jaemin, I promise. Everything’s good. I just need a minute.” You run your fingers through your hair and glance around the room. “Do you have water bottles?”

“In the fridge,” he replies.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he rests his back on the edge of the island, watching you as you grab one. You twist off the cap and take a sip.

“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. That was never my intention.” Jaemin sighs.

“Regardless of your intention, I’m not uncomfortable. Everyone’s just so…different. But the same. And I missed you guys, you know? I missed Saturday nights and being around my favorite people, but it’s…Forget it. Please.”

“Okay.” He nods. “Come back out whenever you’re ready, then.”

Jaemin walks away from you, looking back once over his shoulder before he disappears around the corner. You bury your head in your hands, but you refuse to let anyone think you’re upset. About anything. Jaemin especially.

You take another drink of water before you follow him out to the living room. When you make it back to your spot between Hyuck and Yeeun, he leans over to whisper, “I got up to follow you and he looked like he would rip my head off if I moved another muscle.”

You snort. “Yeah, sure.”

Shortly after that incident, Jiyoon finally shows up. She’s a bit taller than Yeeun, with dyed blonde hair and brown eyes. Jisung introduces the two of you, and she greets you kindly. Mark fills her glass and hands it to her.

 You hear funny stories from Jeno, listen to Renjun scolding Jisung about something, and rest your head on Hyuck’s shoulder. He doesn’t seem to mind, so you don’t plan on moving. He’s having a heated discussion about something to do with stocks with Jaemin and Mark. You happily tune them out, because you have no idea what they’re talking about.

You finish your glass of wine and pour yourself another one. Chenle’s taken care of most of the charcuterie board by now, and Yeeun is showing him videos on her phone. You take a moment to appreciate everyone around you, something you never did before, and realize change may not be a bad thing.

Yes, everyone is different, but so are you. It’s magical when people grow up in the same direction, even past time, distance, and space. They’re all the same at their core, but older. Wiser. Happier. More mature.

You’re on your third glass by the time the night deepens. It must be past ten o’clock at this point, but you don’t feel tired at all. You’re surprised when Chenle and Yeeun leave first. They both hug you on their way out.

Apparently, they broke the seal, because Jisung and Jiyoon are next, followed closely by Renjun. Jeno doesn’t leave until eleven, and Mark and Donghyuck are packing up to leave as well.

“Do you need a ride home?” Hyuck asks.

“I’m okay.” You shake your head. “I’ll leave in a few minutes, don’t worry.”

He hesitates, but eventually listens to you. You’re left alone with Jaemin, much to your surprise, and he’s not kicking you out at the first opportunity he gets.

“Did you want help cleaning up?” you question.

“There’s not much to clean,” Jaemin replies, standing from his seat. “I won’t say no to help though.”

“Of course.” You chuckle and get up, brushing off your jeans. 

Grabbing a few of the glasses, you carry them into the kitchen and put them by the sink. Between the two of you, you’ve got everything in the kitchen within a few minutes.

“I’m glad you came,” Jaemin says, running the water to rinse out the dishes.

“Me too.” It’s not a lie. You love being in this group, but you wonder if there was a better way to ease back in.

“I…Can I say something?” he asks. “If it’s too weird, you can tell me no.”

“By all means.”

“You know I’m not mad at you, right? I’m not bitter and I don’t hate you. I missed you a lot, actually. But I don’t want you to think you can’t come around because of me.” He pauses, taking his bottom lip between his teeth. “I’m really proud of you. Of all the things you’ve accomplished, and I know we couldn’t have done the same things if we had stayed together.”

You don’t mean to let out a relieved breath, but his words take a weight off your shoulders. “Thank you, Jaem. I’m proud of you too.”

“Have one more drink with me? For old times’ sake?” 

“I’d love that.”

So that’s how you end up next to Jaemin on his couch, his feet kicked up on his coffee table. You make jokes, talk about everyday things, but the more you drink, the more you crave to know about the past, about what happened after you left.

“Is the past off-limits?” You turn to look at him, almost blushing when you realize how close his face is to yours.

“I don’t think so.” He shakes his head. “But for every question you ask me, I get to ask you one.”

“That sounds like a good deal.” You smile. “But you go first.”

He gives you a half-smile before pursing his lips as he thinks. “Was it easy for you? Over there, I mean.”

“I wouldn’t say it was easy. It’s hard to pinpoint the exact experience because things are so different here…but I don’t think I’d go back. It was a good experience, and I loved it, but this is where I belong.” You stop, contemplating your own question. “How were you?”

“Is complete honesty okay?” He quirks an eyebrow.

“It’s preferred, actually.” You take another sip.

“It took me a long time to recover. And I don’t want to make you feel bad, because what’s done is done, and we both needed the room to grow. You know, if you never hurt, you’ll never learn. Life is full of learning experiences. But yeah, I was a mess for a while. I loved you long after you left.” He smiles, as if loving you is a fond memory. “Do you miss me?”

Present tense. Miss. Not did you miss me, but do you miss me.

You chuckle, pursing your lips. “Yeah, I do.”

When you meet his gaze again, you see the soft look he gave you whenever he saw you before. He gulps, wetting his lips. Your heart twists in your chest as you realize what this means for you. No matter how much time passes, you’ll never stop loving Jaemin. It doesn’t matter how far apart you’ve been or for how long, because all of you yearns for all of him.

Your voice shakes when you ask your next question. “Where would we be if I hadn’t left? If I changed that, would everything be different?”

“Um.” He’s only inches away from you, studying your face with fervor. “In my mind, I definitely thought we’d be married by now. In love and happy, making babies that hopefully look more like you.”

You try not to let the tears form, but they sting your eyes anyway.

“Is that what you wanted?” he whispers.

“Well, I kinda wanted them to look more like you, but yeah.” You laugh as a tear falls, and you move to wipe it away, but Jaemin beats you to it. His thumb swipes across your cheek.

You’re not sure what’s happening between the two of you, but every part of you craves this.

“We were pretty great, huh?”

“Is that your question?” He smiles. “Because yeah, we were.”

“If that was mine, that one counted as yours too.” You lean into his touch, letting the warmth seep through your skin. “God, I wish it had been you. I wish you were the one.”

His lips part, but it sounds as if his words catch in his throat. He blinks rapidly for a second, gulping. “Who said I can’t be?”

He leans closer.

“I’m gonna kiss you now.”

Your heart drops, but you give him a tiny nod, aching for him. “Jaemin.”

He stops right before your mouths connect, and he lets out a sigh.

“Jaemin,” you repeat. “I have to say something first.”

“Okay.”

“I thought I got over you, but it’s only because I didn’t see you for years. Being with you right now…I might still love you, and if you’re not kissing me for the same reasons, we should stop before we both get hurt again.” You clench your eyes shut, refusing to look at him while you make a fool of yourself.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” He doesn’t give you the chance to respond, kissing you hard. You melt into him, much like the ways you used to.

He shifts to cup both of your cheeks, his mouth working against yours in that perfect harmony you’d only ever found with him. You grasp onto his sleeves. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead on yours.

“I…” he trails off, wetting his lips. “I want you.”

His voice is raspy as he says it, and it sends heat between your legs. You clench your thighs together.

“Me too,” you reply. “I want you, too.”

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Of course.” You lean forward to kiss him, and as your lips meet his, he pulls you onto his lap. Straddling him, you weave your fingers in his hair and hold him close to you.

His hands dip down to your ass, squeezing it and pushing you a bit forward. You groan when you feel his tongue slide across your bottom lip, and you give him access. Without a fight, you let him dominate your mouth. When you grind down, you gasp when you feel him hardening beneath you.

“You’re so perfect,” he whispers, only breaking the kiss for a split second.

He lets out a small whine when you pull away from him, but he’s quickly silenced when you tug your blouse over your head. While he stares at your black lace bra, you work on unbuttoning his shirt.

 “Not here,” he interrupts you, grabbing your hands. “There’s only one place I want to have you right now.”

He stands, holding onto you tightly while you wrap your legs around his waist. For a brief second, you think about what Hyuck would say to you right now—if he would be okay with it or if he would call it a mistake—but you chase the thought away as fast as it comes.

Jaemin carries you to his bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him. He sets you delicately onto his bed, the familiar softness making you sigh. After he finishes taking his shirt off, he climbs on top of you, kissing your cheek, your jawline, down the pulse thundering in your neck, your collarbone, the swells of your breasts. He leaves marks on them before continuing his descent.

And then he’s at the hem of your jeans. He looks up at you, eyebrows raised. “Can I?”

“Please.”

Jaemin is a unique lover. He memorizes all the things you love, what makes you tick, and what he can do to elevate your pleasure. You’ve never had to fake it with him.

“It’s been a while for me,” he mutters. “It might not be…the best.” He clears his throat awkwardly, but pops the button and unzips the zipper.

“I’ll be happy with whatever you can give me,” you say.

His confidence returns after that, and he moves to tug your pants down your legs. You try your best to help him get them off of you, and he finally makes it back between your legs. He rubs his thumb over the obvious wet spot in your panties, humming to himself.

“Time doesn’t change how wet you get for me, huh?” He tsks, pressing a kiss to your clit through the fabric.

When he tugs them down, he admires you before leaning forward. You don’t expect the electric shock you feel when his mouth comes in contact with your core, but it has your back arching when he’s hardly done anything. Your hand immediately finds his hair, gripping it.

His tongue slides along your entrance, barely dipping inside before flicking your clit. He teases you like this a few times, but then his lips wrap around your sensitive bud and he sucks. His fingers trail up your thigh, and he extracts a moan from you when he pushes them inside you.

You inadvertently clench your thighs around his head. He moans against you, the vibrations sending pleasure shooting up your spine. You don’t mean to push him closer to you, but you can’t help it. Everything inside you feels like it’s crumbling and coming together at the same time under his ministrations.

You writhe much more than you should, and if it were anyone other than Jaemin, you’d be embarrassed.

“You taste so good,” he groans against you, thrusting his fingers faster. “So beautiful when you drip for me like this.”

He curls his fingers, and you slap a hand over your mouth to muffle your pleasure. One last flick of his tongue on your clit has your back arching, the bubble bursting inside you as you grind into his face.

After he’s helped you ride through your high, you sit up, sending him back a bit. You quickly reach for his pants, squeezing the prominent bulge before undoing the button and zipper. He steps out of them , pulling you toward the edge of the bed.

“We don’t have to,” he says, breathless. “We can wait if you’re not sure.”

“Jaem,” you reply, cupping his cheeks. “I’ve never wanted you more than I do right now.” You tug him down, kissing him with all your might. You taste yourself on him, but it does little to bother you. All you want is him.

His tongue explores your mouth while he finds the clasp of your bra. He pulls it away from you, guiding you back down onto the bed. His kiss trails down once more, stopping at your breast so he can take your nipple into his mouth. He swirls it, teeth gently scraping.

Finally, he’s shoving his underwear down and grabbing a condom from his nightstand. He rolls it on before joining you on the bed once more, and you feel his tip prodding at your entrance.

“You’re absolutely sure?” He pauses, giving as serious of a look as he can muster. “If we do this, you’re mine again, you know that, right?”

“I’ve always been yours, Jaemin,” you remind him, lifting your hips. “That never changed.”

You barely have time to finish your sentence before he’s pushing inside you, face contorting with pleasure as he bottoms out. Heart pounding, you grip onto his shoulders and wrap your legs around his waist.

“You okay?” he whispers, leaning down to kiss your neck. His eyelashes flutter across your skin, your body already slightly sticky from a thin sheen of sweat from your first indescribable high.

“Please move,” you whimper.

Jaemin moves slowly at first, allowing you both to get used to the feeling of being connected again. It’d be a long while since you’d done anything, too. He pants, nipping and sucking at the sensitive part of your throat.

His hips rock steadily, making sure to press as deep as he can every time. You're already a moaning mess below him, holding onto him for dear life.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I’m not gonna last long.”

In response, you tighten your legs around him and flip him over, leaving him on his back and you on top. His eyes trail all over your body. You roll your hips. He sits up, grabbing your waist and pressing your chest against his, his dark, hardened gaze meeting yours as if this is a challenge.

“Lay back,” you tell him, running your hand down the hard planes of his chest as you gently push him back down. “Just watch.”

He gulps, but does as you say. His hands relax on you and he allows you to set your own pace. You lift up, shuddering at how he feels rubbing on your walls. His fingers twitch as if he wants to pull you back down.

“Baby,” he groans.

You set a steady pace, a bit faster than what his was. He traces down your body, leaving goosebumps in his wake as he moves downward until his thumb is pressed to your clit. You bite your lip to stop your moan, leaning back and bracing yourself on his thighs. He’s a mess beneath you, pleasure written across his face. It makes you want to do more, to work harder to bring him to his edge.

You’re so wet, slick sounds of him entering you fill the silence between sounds of euphoria. His thumb glides back and forth so easily, you have to pick up the speed. Everything around you begins to go fuzzy, and you know you’re approaching your second orgasm of the night much faster than you’d like.

Mid-way through your lift-up, your high hits, forcing you back down on his cock to finish with him buried deep inside, stretching you out. He sits back up, guiding you up and down as you slump onto his chest. He meets you halfway, thrusting up as he pulls you down.

He lets out a deep groan and holds you close to him, gently rocking his hips. He gasps for breath, pressing gentle kisses to your shoulder.

“I love you,” Jaemin whispers. “Don’t go again.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” You shake your head. “I love you, too.”

He opens his mouth to say something, but you both frown when you hear the elevator ding.

“Who is that?” you ask, climbing off of him on shaky legs to try and find your clothes.

“Not a clue.” Jaemin frowns, quickly disposing of the condom and putting his underwear and pants back on. He comes back to kiss your cheek. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

He walks out into his living room, but you get dressed quickly so you can follow him out. You hear him conversing with someone, but you’re not sure who it is. You’re finally back in your jeans and shirt, so you head out to check out what’s going on.

You know your hairs a mess, your makeup is definitely smeared, and your face is red, and on top of all of that, you’re coming out of Jaemin’s room. Anyone with a brain would see what’s going on.

Chenle moves over to the couch and grabs a purse, which is presumably Yeeun’s, and claps Jaemin on the shoulder before he notices you.

“(Y/N)?” He blinks in surprise, glancing between you and Jaemin. “This is a new development.”

“It’s not really that new,” Jaemin says. “Um, we were kind of…busy, though. If you could…”

“Right.” Chenle shakes his head. “Right. You two have fun. Not too much fun, and make sure no one gets hurt this time, please?”

“Are you going to tell Donghyuck?” You scrunch up your nose.

“I’ll give you a twenty-four hour head start.” He grins, saluting you both. “Take care of each other, dipshits.”

You massage your forehead with a sigh, and Jaemin approaches you.

“You got dressed.” He pouts.

“Well, yeah. Somebody was here.” You chuckle.

“Were you wanting to leave?” he asks, eyebrows furrowing. “It’s okay if you do, I just…thought we’d spend the night together.”

“I don’t want to leave,” you tell him. “I told you I’m not leaving you again, Jaem. I meant it.”

“Then let’s get back to bed.” Jaemin massages your shoulders gently as he guides you back to his room.

He gets you a T-shirt to wear to bed, and once you’ve changed into it, you crawl onto his mattress and wait for him to join you. Instead, he stares at you, a smile on his face.

“I never thought I’d get you like this again.”

“You were always the one for me, Jaemin. It just wasn’t the right time.” You rest your head on one of his pillows, patting the spot next to you. “Now come over here.”

He finally listens, climbing under the comforter and pulling you to him until you’re pressed into his chest.

Kissing the top of your head, he hums. “We’ll have everything we ever wanted.”

[mybl--dyvalentine]

Casual જ⁀➴ DK

✮ non idol au! dk x gn! reader

✮ Summary: You and DK have a special relationship. Although, he didn't think it was the same that you thought it was.

✮ Genre: Angst

✮ Word Count: 1,704

✮ Warnings: Suggestive actions mentioned (Kissing, FWB, all that stuff).

Be prepared for the relationship to end.

No sleepovers.

Absolutely no strings attached.

These three rules were set in stone during your first time meeting DK. They were there in order to prevent either you or him from believing that your relationship with each other was anything more than a friends with benefits situation.

---

Sun rays shined through your windshield, and you lowered your sunvisor as you drove through the streets. It was around 6 pm and you were headed to your friend's house for his party. Your phone started ringing at the stop light, and you reached out to answer the call.

"Heyyy Y/n! Where are you right now?" He questions.

"Um... I'm around 6 minutes away," you responded.

"Alright! I'll see you in a bit then."

---

You park on the side of the curb and get out of your car. While walking up to the front door, it opens, and your friend, Jackson, greets you with a smile.

"Y/n! It's so good to see you." He walks over with his arms open.

You accept his hug, "It's nice to see you too. Am I the last to arrive?"

"Nope. Still waiting on DK," he says with a sigh.

You've heard from Jackson that DK usually runs late. After giving him a nod and a quiet "ok," you enter the house. It's fully decorated with lots of "Happy Birthday!" everywhere. There are lots of people as well, some of whom you recognize.

"Do you want something to drink?" Jackson asks.

"Yes, thank you," You respond.

Jackson pours you a drink, and you take it from his hand. As you take a seat on one of the sofas, Jackson goes out to greet DK. You watch them as you take a sip of your drink. Jackson is laughing and motioning DK inside. DK looks around, and his eyes land on yours. Your gaze lingers as his shifts away to look at other parts of the house.

Jackson dismisses himself from DK and goes upstairs. You finally take your eyes off of him and pull out your phone to scroll while taking sips of your drink. The loud music and constant conversations make it hard to be aware of your surroundings. It wasn't long until a pair of shoes appeared just above your phone. You slowly look up from your phone to see the guy whose eyes stayed on yours for longer than a minute.

"Hi..." He smiles sheepishly and says, "I saw you earlier and thought you could use someone to talk to."

"Oh! Um... sure. I guess," you say.

The two of you began to have a conversation for so long that neither of you noticed that everyone had left.

"Hey guys, I'm beat. If you need anything, just go for it. Also text me if you plan on leaving, but you guys could use my guest room if you'd like," Jackson says while yawning.

"Alright, thanks!" Both of you say in unison.

You watch Jackson as he makes his way upstairs and enters his room. You look back at DK, the guy who's told you all of his talents, jokes, and stories while you just listened. He's been staring at you.

"It's late. I recommend staying in the guest room with me," he says.

You give him a nod, and you both get up to get ready for bed. By the time you had finished, DK had just entered the guest room. Upon entering, he just stood there, not moving an inch.

"What could he be staring at?" You thought to yourself.

Moving your head to the side in order to see why DK was so stunned, you find yourself also stopping in your tracks. There was only one bed.

"I'll sleep on the floor," he says.

"Oh no, I couldn't just take the bed. I'll sleep on the floor instead," you say.

"No, I insist. You deserve the bed."

"But-"

"No buts."

"DK, there's enough space for both of us."

He opens his mouth to respond, but pauses for a moment.

"You... don't mind?"

"Of course not! I wouldn't want either of us sleeping on the floor, to be honest."

"O-okay.."

Even after agreeing to the plan, neither of you moved from your spots. Perhaps due to the nervousness of being in the same bed with someone you just met. Or maybe it was due to the unidentifiable feeling that resided in you. You couldn't tell exactly what it was. It wasn't unpleasant, though, more like butterflies flying around in your stomach. The feeling that was inside of you was, undoubtedly, attraction.

He made the first step, walking towards the bed. He sat down and slowly got under the covers. You quickly followed suit. Both of you turned off the lamps on the side tables. Moonlight was the only thing illuminating the room. It was still dark, but you could still make out silhouettes.

There was lots of tossing and turning from the two of you. It ended up with you guys being back to back with each other. You felt as if you were about to burst by being this close to an attractive guy who seems to like you back. Although there were no words being said, it was as if he knew what you were thinking. You both quickly turn to the other side to face each other. The light from the moon made his face seem even more ethereal.

"Can I kiss you?"

Those words echoed throughout your head. The sudden question made you stop thinking about everything else. It was as if time had stopped entirely.

"Yeah."

The comforter rustled as DK gently grabbed your face and pulled you closer. The moment your lips touched his, every restriction you had was gone. It got heated. Fast. His hands traveled around your body, outlining it as he continued to make out with you. Your hands began to explore his body as well. Both pairs of hands explored until they landed on each other. You stopped kissing him to breathe. Your pants filling the silent room.

"What... what are we?" You ask.

"We could be friends with benefits if you'd like that," he responds, still breathing heavily.

You stayed silent for a bit to think.

"Friends with benefits, huh. Sure."

---

A year passes as your relationship with DK grows. You both agreed on being friends with benefits, but you started to get the idea that DK's opinion on your relationship has changed. The reason you got this idea in the first place is because of what happened 6 months into the agreement.

===

Your phone pings, alerting you that someone texted you.

DK: You want to come over later tonight? Like around 7 pm. Y/n: I'm down. DK: Okay, see you later then. Y/n: See you!

You've been frequenting DK's place quite often. Around this point, everyone knew the two of you were friends with benefits. There were some who initially thought you guys were dating. DK squashed those rumors by saying you guys were just "casual." Even his mom knew the two of you were close. Close enough that she would invite you to eat at her place.

After getting ready, you drove to DK's house for your weekly visit. It felt the same each time. You were in and out of his house to avoid anything else happening. This time, though, it was different. DK was drinking before your arrival, and by the time you got there, he was already quite drunk.

He gave you drinks as well as refilling his own. As the night progressed, both of you started becoming very drunk.

"Y'know... I think of us sometimes," DK slurred.

"really?" you question.

"Y-eah. Like, we'd have an apartment and live together or something. We'd probably be together by then, too. I really wonder what it would be like. Us. Dating."

You couldn't respond. This broke the third rule, and you knew that. But some say that drunk people are more likely to say the truth. Is this what he really felt?

"Do you... mean that?" You ask.

He looks at you and says, "yeah."

===

After that happened, everything changed. Your weekly visits turned into you moving in, and it seemed as if you two were getting too close. But after 1 year, he decided it was over. Whenever someone asked DK if the two of you were dating, he would always respond that you two weren't together. That you were just someone he'd hook up with. Of course, after moving in and living together for a couple months, you were angry. Angry that he would just act like nothing happened. Act like what he said and did had no weight to it. By the third time you heard the rumors of DK denying your relationship, you've had enough.

---

"What the hell are you thinking?" You yell.

He takes a step back, shocked by your first words to him were you yelling at him.

"What do you mean?" He questions.

"You know what I mean. You've been going around denying that we're dating."

"We aren't."

It felt like your heart had stopped.

"What? Don't tell me you forgot what you said 6 months ago."

He stared at you, unable to respond. His words were stuck in his throat.

"You told me that you wished we were together. That we would have an apartment and a life together. I asked if that's what you truly wanted, and then you agreed. I even moved in! But after that, you've been distancing yourself. Was all of that a lie?"

His hands turned into fists, and his eyes left yours. You waited for a response. For at least something from him. But in the end, there was nothing. He had nothing left to say.

"I hate that I let this drag on for so long. I can't believe you would lead me on like that. I can't believe I fooled myself into believing that you meant what you said."

You quickly turned around and walked to the door.

Without looking back, you say, "You really have nothing else to say to me?"

The silence was deafening. For both you and him.

You walk out the door and close it with tears threatening to leave your eyes.

DK reaches out to the closed door, "y/n..."

[bluekidchaos]

toxic!mark hoffman x reader

this is ass btw

Pairings: Mark Hoffman x reader (no pronouns i think but envisioned as fem)

Warnings: 18+, manipulation, panic attacks, trauma, reader was in a saw game but no actual details are there, age gap (not actually mentioned but i envisioned it so in my head and i think it adds another spicy layer to the toxicness hihi), i guess kinda dub-con bc she’s only attracted to him bc trauma and manipulation so idk

Words: 1.5k

Can also be read on AO3!

Back to masterlist.

mark isn’t handling your case directly but he sees you at the station after you had won your game and he’s mesmerized as he sees you again

he approaches you and makes sure you are ok and don't need anything

when you’re at the hospital he visits you as much as possible, offering a shoulder to cry on and to listen when you talk about what happened (or anything really) 

he sneaks you non-hospital food and drinks and keeps you comfortable

when you get released he gives you his personal phone number and tells you to call or text whenever and he’ll respond as soon as you can

you’re a bit hesitant at first, i mean he’s already done so much for you and now he’s letting you bother him off the clock?

but he insists that it’s ok, the first text comes late that night, just a small thank you for everything

the next few calls and texts are few and far between but as he keeps reassuring you it's okay you feel comfortable calling him more, sometimes just to chat about random stuff

you’d consider him a friend at this point and you meet up a month later for coffee, you mention feeling paranoid in your apartment, it’s where you were taken after all and he tells you there's nothing to worry about but to call if anything happens

a night or so after the meet you call him in the middle of the night, he can tell you’ve been crying by your hoarse voice and the sniffles coming through the phone

“what’s wrong?” he fakes a tired voice. “i’m s-sorry, did i- did i wake you?” you almost sob out. “no, not at all, are you okay?” worry clear in his tone, “i can’t stay here, i keep seeing shadows move in every corner and i constantly feel like someones watching me.” you blurt it all out in one breath. 

mark tries his best not to let the smirk betray his voice, “alright, you’re alright. i..” he pauses “i might have a suggestion but please tell me if i'm crossing a boundary here.” he knows you won’t say no but he’s gotta keep up the act a bit longer

“please, anything, i don't know what to do anymore, i haven’t slept in days.” you sound so desperate for his help and he has to stop himself from groaning into the phone, “you can sleep at mine tonight, i’ll take the couch and then i’ll help you find a new place okay?” 

your heart misses a beat, and you wanna take the offer the second it leaves his lips but the thought of putting him on the couch in his own home stops you, “i can’t do that, i mean you shouldn’t have to do that”

“it’s fine, it won't be forever” he gives a little laugh that reassures you, “just until we find you a new place ok?”

you resing your hesitation, you’re too exhausted to argue “okay..thank you” mark smiles again, this time not caring as much if it's noticeable “alright, text me your address and i’ll come and pick you up right away, and pack a bag.” 

you hang up and text him the address and start packing as he said

mark already knows where you live of course but you don't need to know that, he waits in his car for the time it would have taken him to drive from his to you before stepping out of the car and going up to your door and pressing the buzzer, “i’ll be right down!” he hears you say through the door phone before it flashes green and he steps inside and waits for you

you come down the stairs fast, he can tell you haven’t slept in a while, the bags under your eyes the biggest indicator

he grabs the bag from you and escorts you to his car before driving the two of you to his place

it’s the first night you sleep through all the way, feeling safe as mark is just outside on the couch and you're surrounded by the smell of him and his things

the next morning you wake up by mark shuffling around in the room clearly trying to be quiet but he notices you stirring and goes still “shit, sorry i was trying not to wake you” you sit up and groggily rub your eyes, “what time is it?” he walks over to his dresser and grabs some sock out of it, you notice now he isn’t wearing a shirt, only some sleep short and you turn your gaze away, a bit flustered, “5.30 am, sorry i’m just getting ready for work. you should go back to sleep.” 

oh, work, right he has a life to live, now you feel extra stupid for taking his offer, depriving him of sleep when he has to get up and work, stupid. but it’s like he can tell what you’re thinking, “hey, you go back to sleep and stay here today alright? you can use my computer to look at apartments if you want.” you nod and lay down again, and you fall asleep before he’s out the door.

that evening when he walked through the door he was met with the most delicious smell as you greeted him from the kitchen, “i thought i’d at least make myself useful while im here so i made dinner” he walked over to the stove and to a deep breath, he probably hadn’t smelt anything this good in years. “wow, it smells really amazing, thank you, darling.”

the name made your stomach flutter, and you blushed at his praise, “oh it’s nothing"

the next 2 months consisted of you and mark living together, you cooked and cleaned while he was at work, making sure he always came home to a warm meal, he would go with you to look at apartments and give his advice and opinion when asked. you really appreciated it, he always knew when an area was unsafe or not and you seemed to be quite unlucky in your search as all the places you found were either in unsafe areas or unsafe apartments, you didn’t really understand that but you trusted marks opinion on your safety and if he didn’t deem it safe for you you didn’t take it. 

you and mark had also gotten closer during this time, he’d care for you through your nightmares and panic attacks, and he’d hold you while you cried yourself to sleep and stay all night in bed with you. you were so lucky to have mark, he really cared for you, he'd seen you at your worst but still cared. he’d kissed you one night while comforting you, it caught you off guard a bit but you craved his affection and touch. it was the first time you had sex. 

you tried your best to go out and be a part of society but it always felt like someone lurked in the shadows, ready to get you at any moment. sometimes you called mark in a panic bc it felt like someone was following you, 

he gladly came to get you every time, lamenting on about how you had to be careful and there were dangerous people out there, he would always bring up some case he was working on as examples, eventually you stopped trying to go out on your own

you had realised one night while looking at places together that you didn’t want to live without mark, couldn’t live without him, the thought alone made your chest squeeze and your breath heavy. he could tell you were having another panic attack and pulled you into his arms immediately soothing you, “hey, hey what’s wrong?” he pushed some hair behind your ear to get a better look at you.

your glazed and teary eyes find his and the look you give him makes him have to bite back a moan, he always loved seeing you like this, panicked, desperate for his comfort, only he could calm you down, “i can’t live without you, i don’t feel safe if you're not around, how am i supposed to be on my own, i need you there!” you practically wail at him in your hysteria, clinging to him like your life depended on it and to you it felt that way

mark only held you closer and ran his hands soothingly up and down your back, “shh, shh, it’ll be alright. you don’t have to move out if you don’t want to, i don’t mind having you here. i’d feel better with you near me too.”

“really?” you barely get the word out between sobs, “yeah, i mean we’re together anyways so moving together officially maybe isn’t that dumb. and it’s a dangerous world out there, how am i supposed to protect you if i'm not with you?”

you nodded in a haze, “thank you, thank you, i’m safe with you” you cried as you buried your face in his chest again and he continued stroking your back

you couldn’t see the smile on his face as he finally had you exactly where he wanted you

paranoid and afraid of the world around you, only trusting of him, your love

[porcelainseashore]

Teenage Headache Dreams (2)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: High School! College! Leon Kennedy x Dancer! Fem! Reader

Summary: You’re a bored, but ambitious high school student who can’t wait to escape small town life and make it in the big city. You thought you had it all figured out, until you unwittingly befriend the resident golden boy, Leon. A series of events beginning from junior year to college until Resident Evil 2 Remake.

Warnings: 18+ Swearing, Recreational Drug Use, Eventual Smut, No (Y/N), Ambiguous/Open Ending

Content: High School AU, College AU, Pre-Resident Evil 2, Fluff, Romance, Cliche, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Lack of Communication

Author's Note: Cliché alert and mostly fluff in this chapter! There’s been a mini time skip, but I wanted to show that Reader x Leon became fast friends in the meantime and are relatively comfortable with each other. I made Leon a lot cheekier this round, but I feel like he uses mischief to mask his true feelings.

AO3 Link

Chapter 2: More Than Meets the Eye

The first couple of weeks of the new term had already flown by and managing your tight schedule of school work, actual work, dance and cheer practice left you with literally no time for anything else. Sighing as you yanked open your locker to retrieve your school books, a familiar figure popped up at your side, slouching against the metallic compartments with a loud thud.

Without even turning your head in its direction, you already knew who it was. “Hey, loser,” you called out, smiling inside.

“Hey, yourself,” came his gruff reply.

As you finally faced the culprit, you and Leon laughed at each other’s greetings.

“So, since it’s a Friday, wanna hang out and watch something tonight?”

Both of you had been almost inseparable until school started, and that’s when you guiltily kept postponing your regular meetups in favor of working on your future goals.

“Uh… I don’t think I can.” You rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly. “I seriously need to get some studying time in and I have cheer practice after school.”

“What was that again?” He put a hand to his ear, listening for something non-existent and pausing for dramatic effect. “All I heard were excuses.”

“Hey-”

“Come on, relax.” Placing his hand on your shoulder, he gave it a tiny squeeze. “School’s only just started. You’re gonna burn out if you keep going like this.”

“Leon…” It came out a lot whinier than you intended.

His eyes widened as you caught a brief glimpse of something devilish in them. You knew it was too late to stop the bullshit that would come out of that filthy mouth any second now. 

“Mm, say it like that again.” Ah, there it is.

Groaning internally, you smacked his hand off your shoulder playfully. “Ugh, you know there’s no way-” 

You turned your head around, checking behind you before lowering your voice. “-I’ll ever get outta here, if I don’t push myself from the start.”

He straightened up a little as he considered your words. “You hate this place that much, huh?”

“You think?” It came out almost as a whisper.

“Shame,” he muttered. “Well, tell you what,” he glanced quickly to the side before looking back at you. “Since you’re so damn keen on this study session, we could do that and then grab some burgers after. Maybe even a movie. How’s that sound?” He puffed his chest and looked almost victorious, as though he knew it was an offer you couldn’t back out of.

Fuck Leon and his persistence. “Yeah, fine,” you grumbled as you shut your locker in defeat.

Once again, that smug grin flashed across his face. “Great, so uh, see you at 5?”

“Mm hm, library,” you nodded reluctantly.

“By the way, your girl gang is here,” he motioned with his head in the direction behind you. “Guess that’s my cue to leave.” Before you could respond, he had already walked ten paces away.

Nobody likes gossip. Ever since you had started hanging out with Leon, people talked and they assumed many things. How far the rumors reached, you didn’t know, but you didn’t want to ruin things between the two of you. You cursed small town gossip under your breath. This was probably one of the few genuine friendships you had, so you tried to keep things as lowkey as possible. Thankfully, Leon agreed to play along. For now.

You tightened your grip on your books as you spun around, plastering a bright smile across your face as you greeted your teammates, who were still sporting tans from their holidays and bubbly chatting with each other.

“Hey, babe,” Kayla, the cheer captain, moved in to give you a quick hug. You caught a whiff of her tropical-scented, coconut vanilla perfume. “So where did your boy run off to?” She winked, giving you a side smile. The other girls around her immediately broke out in hushed whispers.

There wasn’t anything malicious about her question. In fact, your teammates were nice enough, but they could be rather superficial and nosey. You tried to downplay it with a look of confusion in your eyes, shaking your head as you remarked, “He’s just a study partner, Kayla.”

Some giggles broke out and your ears burned. Great, they didn’t buy that a single bit. Defending yourself would just raise more suspicion, so you unhappily resigned yourself to the fact that you were probably doomed for the rest of the term.

“Yeah, whatever.” Kayla waved her hand dismissively. “Was about time anyway, and he’s quite the catch.” She licked her lips suggestively, but quickly added, “Not as good as mine though.” Of course, her obnoxious football boyfriend. You tried to hide your grimace. 

Flipping her shiny, raven-colored locks, she continued, “Still, very cute. I approve.”

Your mouth ran dry. Why couldn’t they just mind their own business? You swallowed your anger as you tried to change the subject. “Um, cheer practice at 3, right?”

She snickered, seeing right through your act. “Yeah, same as always.” She turned to leave, wiggling her fingers as a form of goodbye. “Oh, and you’re leading warm-ups today. Ciao, babe.”

You could hear audible groans coming from the rest of the team as they trudged off with Kayla. They definitely weren’t looking forward to your intense warm-up session, but to you, warmer bodies meant lesser injury risk and better preparation for stunts and routines. Pursing your lips at the less-than-ideal conversation you just had, you tried to shove it to the back of your mind as you hurried off to class.

━━━━━━━━━━━

As you flung open the double doors leading to the school’s indoor gym, you were greeted by the unfamiliar sight of another group you didn’t exactly recognize next to your cheer team. It seemed like Kayla was speaking to their coach, as she nodded a bit too enthusiastically - a nervous habit she displayed when she was irritated but didn’t want to show it. Slowly, you inched closer to listen in on their conversation.

“There must have been a double booking-”

“I’ll sort this out with the admin right now,” Kayla offered.

“It’s just going to eat into practice time. Anyway, this lot won’t need much space today. Functional training.” He sucked his teeth and gestured towards the group. That’s when you spotted Leon, sitting at the side with his arms across his lap, chatting merrily with another girl on his team.

Just my luck, you sighed, folding your arms as the coach continued, “I’m sure you girls won’t mind sharing?”

You saw Kayla clenching and unclenching her fists as she hesitantly agreed to the proposal. With that, she spun around and called out shrilly, “Ladies! We’ve gotta share the space. We’re taking this half.” She drew an imaginary line with her arms as if to stake her claim, before brushing past you seething, “They always think they can sideline us, like we’re not important.”

At this point, Leon made eye contact and waved over. The girl beside him suppressed a laugh and you weren’t sure whether she was embarrassed or making fun of you. Furrowing your brows, you gave a hasty, lopsided smile before heading over to your side of the gym, making a mental note to question Leon about that exchange later.

Wasting no time for further pleasantries, you proceeded to blast your high-energy mixtape on the cassette player as loudly as possible, secretly smirking as you heard the coach swear under his breath at the intrusion.

“Ok, everyone! Let’s get those heart rates up!” You hollered, running through the exercises as they copied you dutifully, breaking out in a sweat and panting furiously. 

Your eyes filtered through the crowd, checking for anything they could improve on, as you continued calling out prompts. “You can lift your legs higher than that!” Hm, that sounded rather… You ignored that prickly feeling at the back of your throat and continued, “Face up, not to the floor!”

When it came to the stretching section and the music toned down, you suddenly heard the unmistakable yell of a reprimand being given from the other end of the room. “Kennedy! You can stare at girls after training!”

Wait, what? Your head darted in the direction of the bellowing. Sure enough, you saw the coach glaring at Leon, who seemed pretty flustered as he denied the accusations with a feeble “I wasn’t!”, which was met with roars of laughter.

Really, Leon? Getting distracted by a bunch of cheerleaders? You were oblivious to what actually happened there and decided to pay no more attention to it. Instead, it was time to go through the routine and fortunately you were relatively decent at compartmentalizing.

“Alright, a few things I wanted to point out,” you began. “This part’s looking good, but it would start off even more amazing, if you frame your body like this.” Adjusting your shoulders with your arms slightly back, profile tilted a smidge upwards, you angled yourself in a semi-diagonal position, shifting your weight towards one leg as you lengthened the other for the prep stance. The other cheerleaders shuffled around, attempting to imitate what you showed.

Kayla motioned for you to demonstrate the full sequence before she took over and you obliged. “Ok, watch me.” You danced through the routine dynamically, hitting all the accents and flowing through the softer parts more sensually. Whipping your hair around as you transitioned from a body wave into a hip roll, you swung the pom poms above your head at the same time and trailed them across your body.

It all seemed to happen in a haze, but after coming out of the next spin, you somehow ended up holding a gaze with those same piercing blue eyes that had caused you so much trouble today. They widened and flickered, but didn’t break away for what felt like an eternity, until-

“Leon Scott Kennedy! I swear to god!”

Uh oh.

“You either train, or you can leave!”

Leon’s cheeks flushed bright red as he bit his lip, stammering, “Sorry coach, won’t happen again.”

You’d never seen Leon get this unnerved, which concerned you. He emanated a natural sense of confidence and was usually laid-back to the point where nothing could ruffle him. In any case, you were also sure as hell everyone heard and saw that commotion, especially since a number of students were now looking between him and you, mumbling to each other.

Nothing could beat the relief you felt when Kayla took over your position, as you stepped away from the center to join the rest of your team. Just when you thought you were in the clear, one of your teammates scooted over to you, whispering seductively in your ear, “Ooh he definitely enjoyed the show you put on.”

━━━━━━━━━━━

The minute practice ended, you bolted straight for the restroom, just so you didn’t have to deal with anyone else for the time being. Hiding in one of the cubicles for a good 10 minutes until you could hear the last footsteps trickle out of the hallway, you unlocked the door and stumbled over to the wash basin, splashing cold water on your face. Checking yourself one last time in the mirror to make sure you looked presentable, you inhaled a deep breath before exiting and making your way towards the library.

From afar, you could see Leon waiting patiently outside of it, as though he fully trusted that you would still show up after that little stunt he pulled earlier. Walking gingerly towards him, you cleared your throat.

“Oh, hey. So… what’re we studying today?” He asked casually, while browsing through his pile of books, as if nothing had happened.

“Math. Definitely Math,” you concluded, also pretending to ignore the white elephant in the room. “If that’s ok with you?”

“Sure, I suck at it. So why not?”

The study session went by rather sluggishly and uneventfully, with both of you going through equations after equations and figuring out the logic together. It was a wonder you could concentrate at all with the events of the day playing back in your mind like a broken record. 

You were thankful for Leon’s earlier suggestion of burgers when it was time to pack up to leave. He gave you a knowing smile when your stomach growled and you placed a hand over your belly instinctively, as you cast back a self-conscious glance. It seemed like he had thought of everything again, where you often had trouble remembering your own basic needs when you were lost in your schoolwork.

Both of you plopped down on the cushy, retro red seats opposite each other in a booth at the only diner in town, getting in your orders as quickly as possible. You suspected that he was just as famished as you, but trying his best not to show it. During the waiting time, the two of you caught up with and exchanged news on all the goings-on of the past weeks.

When your orders finally arrived, you snatched up your burger, devouring large chunks of it, while Leon looked on amused as he bit into his.

“Wuhhff?” You managed to cough out with your mouth stuffed with food.

Almost instantly, he mimicked your reaction, resulting in a fry being thrown in his direction, as he ducked to avoid it while snickering.

“Here, you got some sauce on your chin.” He reached out with a paper napkin, gently wiping it away, as his bright blue eyes bore into yours. That prickly sensation you felt earlier in the school gym started to bloom again, as you squeezed your eyes shut and cleared your throat. “Is it gone now?”

“Uh… y-yeah.” 

Fluttering your eyes open, you caught sight of him looking down at his plate, suddenly completely engrossed with his meal, as he chucked the used napkin to the side. You were quite certain you spotted a pink tinge dusting his cheeks while he slowly chewed his food.

The table grew silent as you muttered a quick, “Thanks.”

Giving it a few minutes before you attempted any form of conversation, you casually decided to bring up the topic you had both been avoiding till now.

“So…” you breathed, testing the waters.

“So…?” Leon questioned, raising an eyebrow, still munching the last bits of his burger.

“At the gym. What was that all about?” You picked at your fries nervously, as you felt a rush of adrenaline coursing through your body in anticipation of an answer.

“What do you mean?”

Ugh. He’s deflecting again. But you weren’t about to let this go so easily. “Don’t play dumb, Kennedy.”

Leon paused, and you could see the wheels turning in his head as he considered his words carefully. It only took a moment for his face to light up as if he hit the jackpot. “I got distracted, that’s all.” His signature smirk broke out across his lips, before adding, “By you.”

The boldness of his answer caught you by surprise, as you choked on your food. Patting your chest, you gulped down some water before sputtering, “Excuse me?”

All at once, he was back to his usual, composed self, as he remarked, “You dance really well. Can’t I admire that?”

“Um… y-yeah, I guess.” You weren’t sure how to respond. Coming from a background where dance teachers often gave you tough love and criticisms in an effort to spur you on, you never really learnt how to accept compliments.

“A ‘thanks’ would be nice.” 

Clenching your jaw, you wished you could wipe that stupid smirk off his face. Trying to approach it from a different angle, you blurted out, “But, people talk.”

Leaning back against his seat and placing his hands behind his head, Leon seemed unfazed. “So let them talk.” Noticing your frown, he continued, “What’s wrong if they think we’re dating? Am I really that bad to be with?” He mentioned it as if it was the most normal thing to say in conversation between two friends, and the worst thing was that you didn’t know how to counter that.

“No, you’re gre-,” you quickly corrected yourself. “I mean, you’re fine.” Sighing, you explained, “I just don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

His gaze softened as he reassured you, “It won’t, trust me.”

Since he was that calm about it, you decided not to pursue it any further. Maybe you were thinking too much into things. However, another question popped up in your mind. “Who was the girl you were speaking with back there?”

He propped himself up again, a little taken aback by the quick change of topic. “Oh, you mean Val? Yeah, we sometimes participate in relays together. She can be a real handful though.”

“She seemed to find me amusing,” you pointed out.

“Really? I didn’t notice,” he shrugged and scoffed down the remainder of his fries. You searched his eyes to detect if he was messing with you, but couldn’t find anything of the sort. “I told her about you.”

Well, that explains it. Crossing your arms, you prepared to release an earful until you were interrupted by the grinning idiot in front of you. “Do I even want to know-”

“I said…” He drifted off, taking his time to sip his soda, leaving you hanging on purpose. You subconsciously leaned in closer as your patience started to wear thin. He lowered his voice, presumably to utter something serious. “You’re the coolest kid I met over summer.”

“You’re such a dork!” You exclaimed, as you punched his arm lightly from across where you sat.

“Ouch! And here I am baring my soul to you.” He rubbed his arm melodramatically and feigned a hurt expression on his face, which only served to encourage you to taunt and play fight with him further.

Sometimes he could be so infuriating. But funnily enough, that was part of what drew you to him in the first place. 

━━━━━━━━━━━

It turned out that Leon had rented some VHS tapes from Blockbuster, so you had the choice of either heading to the local cinema for a late night screening or watching a movie from the comfort of his home. Naturally, you picked the latter. Going to the cinema together would seem too “date night”-like and you had endured more than enough gossip that day to last a lifetime.

You greeted his parents as they kindly let you and Leon hog the living room TV. Before heading upstairs to their bedroom, they gave a half-hearted reminder not to stay up too late, that they knew would go unheeded. They were friendly and way more relaxed than your parents, so much so you preferred hanging out at Leon’s place over yours.

After making some hot chocolate, you settled onto the couch as Leon popped the tape into the video player. Relaxing into the cozy atmosphere, you hugged the warm blanket he offered you and savored the steaming drink between your hands.

Unfortunately, the day’s events probably caught up to you, as your eyelids grew heavier as time went by and you were fighting a losing battle to keep them open. At some point, you must have drifted off to sleep and then accidentally used Leon as a makeshift pillow. He swallowed thickly, as you curled up beside him, resting your head against his shoulder and nuzzling his neck, completely unaware. His heart was pounding so hard in his chest that he was afraid he would wake you. Something made him instinctively wrap his arm around you, even though his mind was screaming to do the exact opposite. This is just gonna make things worse, he sighed, but he didn’t feel the urge to remove it and maybe he could get away without you knowing. So he let you sleep soundly until the credits ran.

“Hey.” He called out softly, as you stirred. “The movie’s over now.”

Blinking groggily, your vision was still blurry as you tried to make out where you were. You weren’t sure if you felt an arm around you or just the back of the couch, as you rubbed your eyes.

“You fell asleep,” he explained, as he let you go and tried to shift away from you as stealthily as possible, hoping you wouldn’t recall the previous position you were in.

“Hm?” You stretched your arms out, yawning lazily as you scratched your head. “Uh, what time is it?”

“Just past midnight.”

You jerked upwards, startled. “Shit, so late?” Your face swung in his direction. “You didn’t wake me?”

He bit his bottom lip, eyeing you apologetically. “You looked like you needed the rest. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

You buried your face into the bunched up blanket on top of your knees, groaning, “Ugh, my parents are going to kill me.”

That drew a faint laugh from him. “Don’t worry, I took care of it.”

You turned towards him with a puzzled look.

“I called them before-” he stopped himself abruptly, as you noticed him tense up.

“Before what?” You questioned out of confusion.

“Nothing.” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and refused to meet your gaze.

You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to figure out if something out of the ordinary had happened. It started off as a vague recollection of falling asleep, maybe leaning against something and the smell of fresh citrus and musk… which smells exactly like- Oh god, no. Your stomach dropped. The realization that you had snuggled with Leon in your sleep dawned on you and your head was whirling.

At this point, Leon knew you had worked out what happened, so he did the only thing he could do in such a situation. “Man, you were heavy.” 

That snapped you out of it and earned him a slap to his chest. “It was a joke, jeez!” He raised both hands up in defense and quickly moved to a different topic, “Anyway, as I was saying, your parents told me to walk you home when you woke up.”

“Oh… thanks,” you shook your head and sighed. “Sorry to put you through the trouble.”

He waved it off. “It’s really no big deal. I’m just glad I finally got to hang out with you again.”

“Yeah, me too,” you admitted. “This was nice.”

As you got up from the couch to prepare to leave, it seemed like Leon had another idea. Grabbing your wrist, he coaxed, “And?”

You knew what he meant and nodded in agreement. “And… I promise I’ll make time for this in the future.” A random thought flashed across your mind as you grinned cheekily. You had to get him back after all his teasing. “How about…”

“I’m listening,” he mentioned with a hint of suspicion in his voice.

“...we meet for more study sessions?”

It was his turn to groan, as you giggled uncontrollably. “That’s such a cop-out!” He responded accusingly. 

Placing your hands on his shoulders and bending down to meet him at eye level, you pleaded, “Come on, we could do something fun after too?”

Rolling his eyes, he rebutted, “You’re kinda driving a hard bargain here.”

You weren’t ashamed to play dirty though, so you turned on the best doe eyes you could muster, and insisted, “Please?” You knew he was a lost cause now.

“Damn it, that’s not fair,” he grumbled, though he eventually gave in. “Ok fine, but only if fun’s a guarantee.”

“Deal.” With that, you took his hand in yours, giving it a firm handshake.

[ebonysplendor]

There's Something Wrong With Sunny Day Jack (Demo) Review🌤️

TL;DR: Sunny days, keeping the clouds awaaaaaay~! ... Okay, but like what if our cloud is the "sunny day", and it won't go away? Do we even want it to at this point...?

Game Link: https://snaccpop-studios.itch.io/sunny-day-jack

Game Link (classic): https://snaccpop-studios.itch.io/sdj-classic

Notable Features: Gender Neutral language, Self-Insert, Yandere LI, Voice Acting, Create a cup of froyo ... yo Spiciness: 5.5/5 -- Let me tell you! It's a whole scene going down in this thing, okay?! FULLY delivered. The literal only thing that would've made this any spicier is if you saw it. You kinda do, but it's just out of frame. LI Red Flags: 3/5 -- Manipulation, possessive, lowkey obsessive, implied violence and possession, but like, I'm pretty sure I can fix him, so whatever, ya know?

Wanna know more? Lmao naaah. Not if you aren't at least 18, and I mean that. There is a WHOLE spicy scene in here. This one's for the adulty adults. Anyways, if you don't care about my yapping and/or you're in the 18+ club, let's get into it!

Okay, okay, okay, I know, yeah, I know, but listen...I'm only getting around to making the review now.

Okay, okay, okay, wait, stop, listen. I know that this game is damn near two years old, but I didn't start getting into reading visual novels until last year, and I didn't start taking the plunge to make reviews until this year so... :P

ANYWAYS! I do have news that you may not know yet! When I was looking for exactly how old this game is, I stumbled upon a little news~

As of me typing this (which was on the 28 August at about 9:30pm, but who knows when I'll actually post this review lmao), the game was updated an hour ago. I'm talking this shit is fresh out of the box! So, naturally, I went scouring for a download button...but then it occurred to me that that message said that it was for the $12+ tier of their patreon supporters. Not gonna lie, the spicy scene in that damn game has got a girl tempted, okay? But the way my bills are set up...

Okay, anyways, getting back on track because I've started yappin'. I'm going to go ahead and jump into this thing because, let me tell you, if you're like me, and you're late to this game, you've gotta hear about it! Granted, the download to the version that I'm talking about isn't available anymore (at least for the public/non $12 patrons), but the classic version is! I don't know how different it is though ^^;

Admittedly, because this game is almost two years old and because there's not a download link available currently, I might spoil it just a little so that you're not left too much in the dark about the game, especially since, again, the download link isn't available. That being said, it may still be spoiler friendly because habit lol.

But you get it by this point. Let's stop talking and start summarizing. Let's get into it!

So boom.

Basically, we're being...haunted?, we guess?...by this very attractive, but frankly super cheesy, children's TV show host. How'd it happened? We aren't really sure. We just remembered that we got some weird tape and was like "Huh...okay", watched it, and boom, here he is. Speaking of "he" and "here he is", here he is!

Everyone, this is the bae, Sunny Day Jack, but he doesn't mind being called just "Jack", so refer to him as such.

Jack has kind've been rocking with us for a few months at this point, and admittedly, it was very poor but really great timing. The reason why that is the case is because we had experienced something pretty tragic, and we were having a really hard time getting over it, but honestly? Jack's child-like explanation of working through problems and explaining emotions actually came in clutch, because we were lowkey able to get this far because of him. That being said...our relationship with him is getting a little blurred -- more than a little.

Ya see, things kind've...escalated between us, and we honestly aren't sure if we're glad that we got called into work or if we're pissed about it. Like, the undertones have been there for a while, but it was only today that those undertones became more pronounced and obvious. I mean, the man had his tongue-- ANYWAYS!

So, we go into work where our asshole manager ditches us because apparently the things that he has to do is way more important than us having a day off from babysitting and picking up the slack of our lazy ass co-workers. The only upside to this is that the day is likely to be slow because of the rain and that we're alone, meaning that we can openly talk to Jack.

Oh, now that I think about it, I forgot something super crucial -- we can see and hear Jack. More specifically, we can touch him, feel him, smell him, fuck him, the works, but, for whatever reason, others can't do the same. I guess it's like...medium privileges or being a ghost's host perks or something? Anyways, I'm getting off track. Gonna stop it there before I start spouting some stupid shit.

We kind've flashback to what happened right before our boss called, and whoo boi, does that steamy feeling come back full force. It's weird, because it's like Jack can read our mind about how we felt so comfortable and so safe and so protected and, frankly, so curious about him and what all went down in that moment. Jack basically reassures us that the feelings that we have are okay, and what would be best described as "love". Oh...oh, haha, uh...

"Nah, dawg, it's not love."

"Well...do you love me?"

AYO? I beg your finest pardon, sir!? Like, he's just gonna come out the woodwork with that shit?!

Regardless, he's still reassuring us that, "It's okay if you see me as bae" and we're just "We're roommates, dude, and seeing someone as bae is way more complicated than you're making it sound!" He pretty much just laughs it off and is like "Well, either way, I'll be here. Always. I'm not going anywhere. Ever. I'll be anything and everything that you need". Oof, that is...a bold ass claim, and one that we're not so entirely sure we should trust...but damn does it feel good to hear those words and have some support...anyways.

Our work day continues, we run into this awkwardly cute guy (I'll explain more later), our whore of an ex-boyfriend called and ruined our fucking mood, Jack lays down some more heavy words of reassurance, and the day goes onto the next.

Unfortunately, we land ourselves back at work, but fortunately without the "un-", we are alone and can freely talk to Jack again. Like mentioned, the guy is a ghost, but he's so very real, just not to others, which can be super disorienting sometimes; this is one of those sometimes. Jack wanted us to make him a yogurt and...oof, his reaction was...

...less than thrilled. Disgusted, even. Horrified.

Now, this doesn't sound like a huge detail or issue, but he actually got a bit scary here because, what is this shit that he's spouting about us "not being that type of person anymore" and "being better than that, now"? Like, when I say that this man -- clown? ghost? -- had a full shift in personality, and it was just...fear in his eyes, desperation in his voice? Like, he looked and sounded absolutely haunted and terrified of something. Like, this was beyond the horror in a cup that we apparently made him experience; it only triggered it.

Thankfully, although awkward, he easily moves past this saying that the combination of flavors just threw him off, and a customer walks in to provide a diversion for an extra layer of safety.

Oh! It's that awkward but polite cutie from the other day!

When we see him, or rather when we hear the door, we say our awkward ass, lame ass greeting, and it's kind've an opener for him to start some super brief small talk. He eventually takes the plunge and shoots his shot. Now, personally, I think the guy is damned adorbs, but at the same time, it's just...it's too soon. That mixed with this whole thing we've got going on with Jack...

We're pretty conflicted on how to answer, un-- Wait, huh? What did...?

Did-- Wait, Jack wants us to tell him that we have a boyfriend? And what does he mean that "it doesn't even have to be a lie"? ... He said the thing again, too. That thing about being whatever he wants us to be.

This is so anxiety inducing, too, because it's like, first off, we weren't expecting to hear him talking to us, and second, we can't acknowledge him in any shape, way, or form. Jack is quite literally looming right behind us, whispering in our ear, and we cannot so much as look his way without the guy in front of us thinking that we've completely lost our shit. Even still, our feelings for Jack have been complicated lately. Should we even take that plunge? Something about doing that doesn't seem right, though...

...We tell the guy that we don't have a boyfriend. Before he gets his hopes up too much, though, we tell him that we aren't really looking for anything right now, either. The guy leaves. The store is quiet, and we're left with alone with Jack with that awkwardness from earlier back in the air at full force; he's the first one to speak.

He apologizes and starts asking if he's pushed anything onto us that we didn't want. Before we can really answer though, he apologizes again. He explains that he thought that he was speaking in terms of what we wanted, but he keeps going back and forth like he's trying to find the right words but also figure out where he misunderstood; better yet, and more accurately, he's trying to figure out why he misunderstood in the first place. The poor guy is honestly so pitiful at this point, and we try to stop him from rambling and reach out for him... but our hand falls right through him.

Obviously, we start panicking, and Jack explains to us that he doesn't want to do anything that we don't want him to do nor feel comfortable with, and if it's him that we don't feel comfortable with and it's him that we don't want...this is what happens.

Okay, now, we're past the point of panicking; we're on the verge of tears because had we known us saying "No, I don't have a boyfriend" meant that Jack would start questioning if we actually wanted him around and fading away, we would've never said it. True to his optimistic nature, Jack reassures us that he's not "fading away" or "disappearing", and we're just like "Dude, piss off with that. Now, is not the time" because it's like, bro, this isn't a joke or us not wanting to get up for work; this is serious.

Jack chills with the reassurance and explains that he understands that we're serious, but that this isn't an issue that he can fix himself. Jack basically said that our words -- better yet our acceptance or denial of him -- are very weighted and that the only way to fix what's going on right then and there is to reaffirm that we accept him being there and truly meaning it, and that's only because he doesn't want to do anything that we don't want or need from him.

Even still, do we really trust him fully enough to do this? He's not the kind of guy to hurt us, is he? I mean, it's Sunny Day Jack. Then again, we also thought the same about---

"Hey."

"Yeah, Jack?"

"I know it's scary, I honestly do, but you can trust me. All I want is to be with you, protect you, and make you happy; that's what I'm here for."

All of that sounds so nice, too nice, but...

Can we trust him so easily...?

We really shouldn't...

But that horrible, heartbreaking moment...

That pain that Jack somehow made bearable, took away even...

That companionship he gave us in the place of loneliness...

His comfort...

His gaze...

What's wrong with feeling good? Why doubt him, and why feel like this unique and irreplicable connection is a bad thing? It's like Jack said: these feelings are okay; it's normal. There's nothing wrong with this.

...Right?

Y'all. You all. Guys. Gays. Theys. People. Friends. MY friends. SQUAD. (all right, enough...)

Hot and bothered, bothered and hot. Like, please allow me like 3 - 5 sentences of degeneracy. Between Jack and Ren (iykyk) ... Ren still laid down the pipe better but Jack?? Jack was a damned close second. Like, did you see the way that man was looking in our eyes and holding us? Then he's so big and masculine looking and ahhhhh~! That is BAE right there!

Anyways, getting back on track, when I had to go back and get those screenshots, what should've taken me like 5 - 10 minutes took me like 30+ minutes because I had to relive these moments. I had to relive this story! Like I mentioned earlier, the game is damn near two years old, but it reads like new, you feel me? The story, the implications, the art style, the scenes, the drama -- ahhh! I LIVE. I ASCEND. Like, when these developers hit the mark, they hit the damned mark with such precision!

I'm pretty sure that it's been mentioned at this point, but do you know what I loved the most about this visual novel (degeneracy aside, of course lol)? The subtle but oddly specific ass details that you're sure to miss or gloss over if you're not paying attention. I'm talking those details that you probably wouldn't catch until you've already read it once, seen how things have panned out, and then read through it again. Like, how it described us feeling cold whenever we thought about Jack leaving or fading away from us, or how the air would feel like syrup or cotton candy whenever he spoke to us, or how we'd get all warm in the most literal sense whenever Jack was near, or feel full, or completed, or -- the list honestly goes on. Like, there's a lot of allusion to being slowly corrupted/possessed by Jack, because this guy is a ghost, remember? Yeah, I had lowkey forgot, too.

Those specifically subtle details really made the story come together, and once I caught onto what was going on, I was just like, bro, the signs were there! I'd have to say that my absolute favorite "subtle" sign was when Jack always seemed to know exactly what we were thinking, almost like he was able to read our thoughts, but as soon as we started to "reject" him, all of a sudden he wasn't exactly sure what we thought. He went from responding to our thoughts to questioning what we may have been thinking about. Like, what? Go the eff off SnaccPop!

I love this visual novel, I love this visual novel, I love this visual novel, I love this frickin visual novel. I could ramble and geek way more but I'm gonna start wrapping it up before I start yappin' too, too much. Just allow me a few more sentences, a paragraph or two, please.

I. Cannot. Wait! For the full and official release! I am so excited to see how the team is going to mold this story and how things are going to pan out. I'm excited to see how and if we're able to get away from Jack because, at this point, he has a damned strong hold on us, but I'm speculating that our horror movie fanatic and director friend is going to come in clutch for this one.

If it was not obvious (and honestly, if you were somehow later to this game than I was) 100/10 would recommend, and I am recommending. It is so good, and I really hope that I'm not over hyping it, because the foundation that has been built for this story is so damned solid. Like I mentioned way earlier, unfortunately, you can't play the (free) updated demo anymore, but you can still play the classic one; I just don't know how different it is compared to the new version. Either way, I'll give you the link to both just in case (Update | OG). If you're able, definitely give them that monetary support and play the updated version. Hell, tell ME how it is because...I really don't want to put off my bills but, at this point, Jack has me in a fucking chokehold all over again. What's an extra, unplanned $12 at this point? Also, if able, visit the game's page and give SnaccPop that ever so encouraging but thirsty "NEED. MOAR. I mean, you take your time because perfection can't be rushed, and I know you all are people with a life and other responsibilities and such, BUT I NEED. MOAR. IT'S SO GOOD. STAND AND DELIEVER. ...please UwU I beg OTL"

Meh, that was highkey three paragraphs, but I'm not gonna split it so it can still be the two paragraphs that I requested. Lol sorry for pushing it there, but I'm done now! Promise. No more yappin'. The yap has been concluded, and I'm gonna go ahead and head out.

Big preesh for getting this far, and please, remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack (Updated; download not available to public)

Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack (Classic; download available)

[starsstuddedsky]

Doyoung as your brother's best friend...

(wc: 1.7k, non idol au, mentions of food, alcohol, reader has a mother/family, i really dont know what this is)

who you were always fond of because he was way nicer to you than your brother ever was growing up (a pretty low bar, but a win is a win)

he graduates before you and you see him only a couple times a year when your brother would hang out with him, which fizzles out and suddenly you realize you haven’t seen him in five years 

you finish college and get a great job offer except it’s a city five hundred miles away from home and you don’t know anyone, until your mother mentions Doyoung moved there a year or so ago and says something like you should reach out

to which you think no thank you but you politely say you’ll see what he’s up to 

and you don’t give it a second thought, you meet a few friendly people at work and try to call your old friends as much as you can but loneliness has a way of seeping into the empty corners of your room and the quietness of 9:56pm on a Tuesday 

so you figure a hinge date or two isn’t the worst idea

hey, guess what’s the worst idea? 

the first man you decide to go on a date with spends the first hour bragging about his job and how he’ll be able to retire by the time he’s 35 and simply does not stop talking about himself

you’re sure you’ve given help me eyes to every person that’s walked past but no one takes pity on you, until you’re looking into a familiar pair of eyes 

Doyoung doesn’t hesitate to stride up to you, saying “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, why haven’t you been looking at your phone?” and “The doctor’s say he won’t make it much longer!” 

it isn’t difficult to follow him out of the café and listen to him throw out fake medical terms until you’re around the corner 

he slows after that and you realize he’s gotten even taller and let his hair grow out a little

before you can tease him about the hair, he asks if you’re busy and when you say no, he drags you to the coin laundry to watch his clothes spin around 

sitting on the plastic chairs and sipping paper cups from the water dispenser, you trade stories, amazed at the Doyoung from your memory and the Doyoung that sits in front of you

he’s changed so much (he spends his free time painting and going to art museums) and not at all (still ducks his head when he’s feeling shy and smiles with his eyes just as much as his lips) 

you try to pretend like you aren’t stealing looks at him. he isn’t nearly as successful.

you walk to his apartment, only a couple blocks away and it’s gotten so late that he insists you spend the night, saying that your mom would kill him if he let you walk alone this late and to just take the couch 

to which you protest, because, honestly, what would his mother say not offering the bed? and he just rolls his eyes and gives you his best pillow 

except he must have really never slept on the couch because it’s actually so uncomfortable that you can’t sleep. when Doyoung gets up for a middle-of-the-night bathroom break, he finds you watching a crime show

despite making fun of you for it, he sits beside you and it’s actually way more comfortable when you’re using his shoulder as a pillow and then it’s suddenly morning and you wake up fully in his arms, meeting his smug smile

he does not waste time making fun of you, saying “what was that about the couch being uncomfortable?” and “are you sure you didn’t just want to sleep with me?” and pretending he wasn’t just as flustered

even though it’s daylight, he still walks you home and you find you don’t mind it at all. in front of your door, neither of you can figure out how to say you want to keep seeing each other, especially since you aren’t sure if it’s in a flirty context or not and what any of that would entail

finally you tell him your apartment has laundry, if he doesn’t want to pay for it and he says somehow he thinks you’re going to cost way more than a laundromat but he’s smiling 

Doyoung slowly becomes a fixture in your life and even when you truly befriend your coworkers and become particularly close with one of the baristas in the coffee shop next to your apartment, he’s always the first person you think of–when you get a commendation at work, when you have another fight with That One Coworker, when you stub your toe. and he tells you about his constant fight with the owner of a dog on his floor that thinks it’s okay to let their dog pee on Doyoung’s doormat, and you hear all about his friends before you finally meet them 

there are countless “almost” moments–telling him about this guy at work who flirts with you more blatantly than Doyoung himself and when you pause after saying you told him you have someone, he doesn’t say anything so you just say it was a lie to get the guy off your back; holding your hand on your birthday (after cooking a five course meal for you) but letting go before you even reach your apartment; staying over at his apartment again and refusing to sleep on the bed but he builds a wall of pillows between you “so you don’t feel uncomfortable”; waiting for the bus after drinking with his friends under a flickering streetlight where you think for sure he’s going to kiss you but he ducks away before you can let the fantasy dip into reality 

you know you have to talk to him about it directly (especially since all of your friends say that he’s as in love with you as you are with him) but every time you try to do it you freeze up and you can’t get the words out 

but when the holidays come around, you go to visit family with him and realize Just How Much you’ve changed around him

you’ve completely forgotten how to be normal around him, how to look at him without hearts in your eyes, but you’ll die if your family asks you what’s going on and you don’t have an answer, so you steel yourself up for a Doyoung-less Christmas 

it goes really well until Day 2 when your mother announces Doyoung and his family will be coming over for dinner. to make matters worse, your brother finally shows up and it becomes very clear 1) he and Doyoung still talk all the time and 2) Doyoung has not mentioned how close he’s become with you 

you try your very best to pull stories out of everyone else, since you can’t seem to mention anything about your life that doesn't include Doyoung, which apparently is true for him, you discover as he tries his best to tell the story about the time he wound up halfway across the city with a dead phone and no way to get back without telling them you were right there with him (ultimately failing since you were the one who ran into a friend who let you into their apartment to charge your phones) 

after dinner your brother and Doyoung disappear and maybe you’re being paranoid but you swear everyone is looking at you

so you go ahead and vanish into your childhood room, thinking about anything except your brother’s best friend who’s become your… (damn you really thought you’d have a word for him that time) 

an hour or so later, your brother knocks at the door and asks to come in (already scary since he’s always just busts in and purposefully leaves the door wide open). he sits down and says he doesn’t care what happens between you and Doyoung but not to hide anything on his account and you’re like okay well there’s nothing to hide and he’s like if my dumbass can pick up on the vibes, there’s something to hide so go figure it out and you’re like wait what did Doyoung say and he rolls his eyes and mutters something like “I am not doing this” and tells you Doyoung is waiting for you outside 

you did not sprint down the steps, no matter what anyone says. it was a controlled pace, one foot per step, hand gripping the railing to keep you upright 

Doyoung waits for you like your brother said, sitting on the porch swing wearing his winter jacket with his hands stuffed into the pockets, and he perks up when you come out the door 

you sit beside him, trying not to lean into him and letting the cold air warm from the tension between you. there’s a couple heartbeats of silence, your breath hanging in the air in front of you before you manage to get the words out. 

“i like you” 

silly words, immature words, not the right words for how you feel, but you can’t quite figure out what those might be. 

“it’s like mixing paint,” he says and you think maybe there really aren’t any right words, but he keeps going. “at first you think ‘wow i used way too much blue and this will never look right’ but you keep mixing it together and even though it isn’t the color you wanted it to be, you’ve found a whole new color and it changes the painting completely but it makes it so much better.” he pauses before admitting, “maybe it isn’t the perfect analogy. my point is, i wasn’t expecting you at all, but you make my life so much better.” and another couple seconds for him to remember he’s got something else to say. “oh, and i like you, too. if it wasn’t obvious."

it’s stupidly like a movie when the snow starts to fall, but you’ve been waiting far too long to kiss him, so you won’t let the feeling that this is a bad hallmark movie stop you

what does stop you is hearing half your family cheering through the window when you scoot closer to him 

(your first kiss happens a couple days later on a secluded hike in the woods) 

(a few years later at the wedding, one of your cousins pulls up footage that can only be described as stalker-like) 

and you never sleep on his crappy couch again (though you do stay over, even when it isn’t late), and he keeps doing laundry in your apartment until his lease is finally up and he moves into a bigger apartment that just so happens to have enough space for you

(oh, and it has in-unit laundry too) 

a/n: i swear i have been writing i just haven't been finishing but i got 2/3 of sending this to bestie before i realized this is a writing format so yeah. idk this is very much my delusional stream of consciousness but tell me im wrong. go ahead. tell me.

[yunhonumeris1fane]

Destination reached•JYH

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“You have a flight leaving this evening, but your brother, who promised to take you to the airport, suddenly can’t. So instead, he asks Yunho, to drive you to the airport”

Genre - fluff

Pairing - idol_yunho x non idol_reader; Seonghwa cameo

Warnings - none

Words - a lot

You have a big upcoming trip with your classmates from college. You will be going to Italy, visit a lot of museums and do architectural sightseeing. You’re super thrilled, as it’s the first time you got an opportunity to go abroad. But being away for a week from your friends and family feels tough, you feel a little guilty too. So to ease your mind, your brother promised to take you to the airport. But things didn’t go as planned.

“Seonghwa, what do you mean you can’t?” you are on the phone with your brother, who just told you he wouldn’t be able to do so.

“I’m sorry, Some things came up and I don’t think I can take you there” he keeps on apologizing, as you feel hopelessness clouding your mind. You’re leaving in less than 6 hours and the whole situation makes you go nuts.

“listen, I know you might not like this, but Yunho can drive you to the airport, he’s not as busy” 

 He technically could, but you weren’t exactly as close to him as to the other members of the group. You always had this awkward tension between you. And it was partially or definitely because you had a big fat crush on that man. Ever since the first day you met them, he has been on your heart’s radar. He wasn’t exactly your type at the beginning, you always liked guys like Jungkook. But somehow your heart decided that Yunho was the one. And day by day you started liking him more and more, until he became your ideal type, changing everything.

“You’re right I don’t like it” you admit, thoughts of being in the same car with Yunho scared the hell out of you.

“I think it’s an opportunity to move things between both of you. I know you have a crush on him. I can’t tell you if he does have feelings for you or not, but you gotta do something. And that something is letting him drive you to the airport” Seonghwa encourages you, in a gentle voice, not wanting to scare you.

“Is that why you backed out?”

“Nooo…” He disagrees, but the tone of his voice, somewhat guilty, tells you otherwise.

“Well… I guess he can. He’s not gonna charge me, is he?” you question your brother, as the main reason you agreed on your brother to driving you there, was for you to save money.

“Of course not” he laughs at your absurd question, “I’ll go talk to him and will text you the details. Good luck” and with that hangs up.

 You toss your phone on the bed and sit down, scratching your head, to relieve the stress. If your brother was a cupid, he’d be a brutal one, just throwing you right under a bus. 

 Looking through your bedroom window, you notice that it’s getting darker and darker outside, reminding you once again, that the trip is right around the corner. You try to hype yourself up, pushing away the panicky thoughts and get scared by a notification sound on your phone. 

You glance over your phone and there’s a message from ‘Bro’. You click on the message and read thoroughly. 

'Yunho is gonna stop by your house at 12, a little earlier, but it’s better to be early than be late. Have a safe trip, enjoy your flight and bring me some snacks, I know you’re taking a big luggage 😇☺️🤭'

‘My luggage is already full of clothes 🙂'

‘you lyin🤨'

‘at least one snacc pls 🧎'

Fast forward to 12, you’re already set to go, your body’s slightly trembling from anxiety as Yunho could be here anytime. You take your luggage and head outside, to sit on the front porch. As you watch several cars pass you notice a black fancy car, with tinted windows, pulling up to your house. As the car comes to a stop, a tall man, dressed in black hoodie and black sweatpants gets out. You squint your eyes to see better, as you struggle to recognise him. It should be obvious that it’s him, but you stay on guard, maybe it’s some kidnapper or who knows.

“Y/n?” he greets you and you immediately recognise the voice. You couldn’t forget his sweet and gentle voice. So you lift yourself off the cold ground and taking the luggage in one hand, head over to him.

 When you approach the man, he smiles at you and walks around the car to open the trunk, “go sit in the car, I’ll take it”, he gestures as you  release the grip on the luggages handle and with a nod make your way over to the passenger’s side of the car. You open the door and have yourself seated in the car. You watch through the side view mirror as he lifts your luggage and puts it into the trunk, closing it shortly after and heading back to the car. He sits into the driver’s seat and looks over at you.

“Are you nervous?” he inquires, seeing you fidgeting with your fingers. You shake your head as you try to get yourself comfortable in the seat, but it’s way too reclined and it feels like it was used by a tall person earlier.

“Oh, forgot, Mingi was sitting here yesterday” he remembers, noticing the big gap between you and the dashboard. He leans towards you, “I’ll fix it real quick”, as he reaches for a knob at the side of your seat and twists it, adjusting your seat. His body inches apart from yours, sends electricity like signals all over your body. He’s so close that the sweet scent of his cologne hits your nostrils, making your heart beat like crazy.

“this okay”, he rests his hand against the door, looking you in the eyes, searching for an answer.

“y-yeah” you mumble, unable to form words as he smiles once again and returns to his seat, to buckle up. He then places his one hand on the steering wheel and starts the vehicle with another one. Shortly after he maneuvers the car out of the driveway and the trip begins.

 The first 10 or so minutes feel like torture, neither Yunho or you say a word, he’s driving while you’re looking out through the window, watching the streets, the people and the life around.

“I’ll let you in on a secret” Yunho finally breaks the silence, as you look over at him, who gives you a quick glance, before returning his eyes on the road, “Seonghwa hyung isn’t actually busy. He’s probably laying on his bed, building legos or eating”.

“ah, that little sh-” you refrain yourself from cursing him out, and cross your arms over your chest, feeling even more annoyed with your brother.

“He said he wanted to rest, after the busy week” Yunho spills the tea, betraying his own friend.

“I figured he was hiding something. He could’ve told me so… and could have told me a couple days prior, not a couple hours” you murmur, pursing your lips, “are you okay with driving me there, ur not mad or something?”

“No, I like driving, especially at night, it’s like therapy” he replies, as his hand reaches over to the display screen, to play some music, “you want something specific to play?” 

“I can find something” you nod and your hand finds its way over to the screen, accidentally touching his soft hand, “sorry”, you apologize and continue searching for a song in the spotify app.

 You choose moonlight by chase atlantic, cause it just feels like a vibe to you, fitting the atmosphere of a late night drive. Shortly after the song starts playing you rest your head against the window and you go back watching the world outside. But it doesn’t take long for you to get bored, so your eyes wander off around the car. You notice how the inside of the car is entirely illuminated by the street and traffic lights. It feels so cozy. When you run out of ideas where to look around, your brain decides that it’s a good idea to stalk the driver. You discreetly look over to him, watching him control the car. 

 You have to admit he looks way too good while driving the car. The way his hand grips the wheel, as the other arm is bent, elbow resting in the crook of where the window and the door meet, while his thumb is pressed against his soft bottom lip. You take in how focused he is, eyes never leaving the road and how his face scrunches up a little when you come by a little traffic jam ahead. When he approaches the car that caused the traffic to slow down, his hand comes down behind the wheel, to turn on the indicator. Then swiftly turning the wheel to left, he steps on the gas pedal and overtakes the slow car in front, before returning back to the right lane.

 It’s crazy how such a nothing like thing, simply a man driving, makes your head feeling dizzy. It doesn’t last long though, as he feels like being watched, so he glances over at you, catching you red handed. You quickly avert your gaze back to your window and start screaming and crying inside. Yunho doesn’t say anything, as he suspects you already feel bad enough.

 The silence lingers around in the car, only the music playing in the background is heard. According to the maps app, the airport is just a couple minutes away. If only you had minded your own business, the car ride wouldn’t have turned into such an awkward one. Instead of talking like normal people, you’re sitting in silence, all because you had the audacity to stalk him.

“We’re almost here, how are you feeling?” Yunho observes you, as there is a frown on your face, from regret of your actions and the anxiety caused by the trip.

“I’m nervous. It’s a big thing for me. I’ve never been on a plane, let alone traveled anywhere outside of the country” you admit, plucking off the little balls on your sweater.

“It’s going to be okay, I was also scared the first time I was on the plane. It’s not bad, the most annoying thing is ears getting blocked” he comforts you, in a gentle voice, sharing his own experience.

 As you finally reach the parking area of the airport, he parks his car a little further away from other cars and turns the vehicle off. Yunho gets out of the car, so do you and goes over to the trunk, to get your luggage out. When he sets it down on the ground, you look at your phone to check time.

“I guess I’ll be heading now” you pull out the handle of the luggage and are ready to leave.

“Y/n!” you turn around as your name falls from his lips.

“I know you’re not like moving to another country or so, but I feel like I need to get this off my chest” he begins, leaving you wonder if he’s about to admit his feelings or maybe say something ‘let’s never meet again’

“Seonghwa told me about your feelings for me” he admits as your face goes blank, “I’m not really good with words, but I wanted to say that I like you too” he finally finds courage to confess. You freeze in your spot, wanting him to repeat what he just said. He takes a few steps closer, towering over you, as his hand goes over to your cheek to gently caress it.

“I’ve liked you for a long time, but never found the courage to confess to you. I knew you’d never confess first, cause you’re always so afraid of silly things”, his thumb brushes over your cheek, “So I knew I had to be the one to break the ice” he says, his gentle voice comforting your uneasy thoughts. You feel like there’s something stuck in your throat, making it hard for you to say anything so you just gaze into his eyes, waiting for him to say something more.

“Can I kiss you, just for good luck?” he says, in a joking manner as you nod and he leans in to connect your lips. With his hand still flushed against your cheek, his other one rests in the curve of your waist, as he dives his tongue through your parted lips, craving for more than just a peck. You feel your cheeks burning, as he explores every inch of your mouth. You want to savor the moment forever, never have felt anything like this.

“I think I’m head over heels in love with you now” he confesses, pulling away from your lips.

“I could say the same” you exclaim, as you wrap your hands around him, pulling him into a tight hug, not wanting to let go of him ever again. He places his hands on your cheeks and tilts your head, so you’re eye to eye with him.

“You should go, you’ll be late, I’ll try my best to come pick you up next week, okay” he assures you with a quick peck on your lips and releases you.

“I’ll be waiting for you then” 

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A/n wrote this when having migraine, so if it doesn't make sense, it doesn't ^^