#guest muse: Eugene

[writerseclipse1]

[four seasons of love] chapter 1: a welcome arrival

a joel miller x reader series by @writerseclipse1

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warnings: reader is in her 30s, joel in his 50s, abby in her 20s, mentions blood, injury and murder, small description of (canon-typical) physical violence, guns and other weapons, lmk if i missed anyt.

summary: jackson is stunned by an unexpected yet certainly welcome arrival. the plan falls into place a little too perfectly, like two sugars in a plain, black coffee.

word count: 3.8k

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ a/n: first chapter done!! hope u guys like it <3

++++++

March 19, 2037

“I hate it here,” Mike grumbled under his breath, slinging his rifle over his shoulder to adjust the thin material of his shirt. He heaved out a sigh, cheeks tinted a slight pink as a cool wisp of wind—left over from winter—brushed over his face. From his left, he heard a snicker and, turning his head, he saw Eugene stifling his laughter. “What’s so funny?”

“I mean, if you hadn’t fucked up last patrol, you wouldn’t be here,” Mike scoffs at Eugene’s chuckling, the bitter man crossing his arms over his chest as he looks at Eugene with a less-than-pleased look yet this did nothing to ease Eugene’s chipper mood. “Do better at your job and maybe they might let you patrol Jackson next time.” Eugene bursts out in a fit of laughter when he sees the corner of Mike’s mouth curl up into a sneer, his mouth opening to retaliate. The retort dies in his mouth however, when the latter sees a figure from below, back hunched and a trail of blood at its feet, and Mike’s heart leaps out of his chest when it collapses right outside the walls of Jackson.

“What the fuck is that?!”

The gates open and half a dozen men clutch their weapons, laser focused and pointed at their target, ready to shoot on command and at will. Maria clutches a pistol in one hand and a scanner in the other, swiftly attaching it to the neck of the intruder. The apparatus lets out a ‘click’ before the screen turns green. The woman signals the group to advance, their feet trudging along the grass.

They crowd around it, one of them nudging the body with the butt of his rifle but backs away when Maria clicks her tongue and gives a pointed look. “What do we do with it, boss?” The woman pauses, weighing her options before she sighs and shakes her head, surveying the blood absorbed by the soil.

“We take ‘em in.”

++++++

“Whatcha waitin’ here for?” Tommy’s head perked up at the sound of his older brother’s voice. His lips form a half smile, meeting Joel halfway to give him a side hug, wrapping one arm around his older brother’s shoulder.

“Been a week of waitin’ but we got a newcomer comin’ outta the med bay. Found her right outside the walls,” Tommy mused, crossing his arms and leaning on the wall behind him, staring at the curtain that separated him and his brother from the newcomer, the doctor, and Maria, who he speculated was speaking to the newcomer. “If she was out there for ten minutes longer, she woulda been dead before we even got here, well, that’s what Nolan told us.” 

Joel acknowledged this with a huff, nodding as he let himself absorb his brother’s words, but something was out of place. “Hold on, where’s she gonna stay? As far as I know, we haven't built any new houses.” The older man already knew the answer but he still asked, praying that his guess wasn’t the case.

“Yeah well, about that,” Tommy grimaced at Joel’s sharp glare. “Now, come on, give the girl a break! She was just on death’s doorstep, be hospitable for once.” He nudged his brother’s arm but before the latter was about to counter with his inevitable refusal, he interrupted him. “I’m sure you know how it feels to be bleeding and alone. Wouldn’t want our guest to feel that way, do ya?” 

It stopped Joel in his tracks, looking at his brother with an unreadable expression, the gears turning in his head as his decision was swayed by practicality versus sympathy. In the end, the soft sigh that Joel lets slip out of his mouth was the source of Tommy’s satisfaction. The younger man patted his brother’s shoulder with a grin, nodding his head. “Thanks, Joel. And who knows? You might like the girl more than you think.”

Joel didn’t get to retaliate before the curtain was pulled back, revealing Nolan Matthews—head doctor of the infirmary—with a mask that certainly did nothing to cover his evident smile, the corner of his eyes wrinkling as he neared the two. “Good news, she’s alive and well, and definitely expecting a full recovery from all the injuries she sustained. It’s insane how she got here with all of it, though,” he turned to Joel. “Best keep an eye on her for a couple of days until she’s completely back on her feet. Just give me five minutes and then you’ll be allowed into the room.” Once again, the doctor gave Joel no chance to respond before he disappeared behind the curtain.

Tommy ignored Joel’s pointed gaze, a victorious smirk gracing the younger man’s face while his brother greeted him with a scowl. “So now we’re tellin’ the whole town that a girl’s gonna stay in my place forever?”

“Not forever, unless you want her to.” The groan that escaped Joel’s mouth did nothing to ease the smile from his brother’s lips. In fact, Joel swore Tommy’s grin just got bigger. “Come on, you have an extra room! It’s just until we get a couple more materials to make one for her, that’s all.” If Joel looked closer, he would have seen the way Tommy’s hand moved behind his back, his fingers crossing as he licked his lips. No way in hell would Tommy make a new house for just one person when someone else had a functioning extra bed. Plus, he thought he was helping his brother out. It’s been a while since Joel had mingled, maybe he just needed a bit of a nudge.

“You two done? She’s ready to meet you.” Maria’s voice cuts them from their internal squabbling, the two nodding their heads as they push themselves off the wall. ““Couple more materials” my ass,” Joel muttered to himself as he moved the curtain out of his way and entered the room.

Joel was the first one among the two that you laid your eyes on, your gaze staying on him longer than it should have before your eyes flittered to his brother. Maria cleared her throat, tearing your attention from the two imposing men. She introduced the pair to you, her lips spreading out into a warm and welcoming smile. “This is Tommy, my husband,” she held his hand, squeezing it in her grasp and you gave him a meek smile as he tipped his head in your direction. “And this is his brother, Joel.”

Joel’s gaze had been pinned to the floor the entire time but when he felt Maria’s hand on his shoulder, he looked up. He looked much younger than you knew him to be but the greying hairs on the skin of his jaw and the ones on the side of his head told you otherwise. A swift glance gave you the chance to peek through the hazel glaze of his eyes, telling you of the murders he’d committed, the hardships he’d gone through, and the love that had slipped from his hands. Like his brother, he nodded his head in your direction, eyes still piercing into yours. “Welcome to Jackson.”

The corners of your lips turned upward, your own name slipping through your lips as you looked between the three, your eyes eventually focusing on Maria as she started to speak. “Thing is, we don’t have your house ready yet, but Joel offered his spare bedroom for you to stay in until we finish. Is that okay with you?” If you paid closer attention, you would have seen Joel glare at his brother and the smug smile on Tommy’s lips but you only nodded, slightly surprised that you were still welcome in a settlement with about 300 people.

“Yes, of course. I’m just grateful you still have room for one more person,” your voice came out small, looking up at them with gratitude. Before you could react, Maria had engulfed you in a hug, her accepting gesture making you relax even the slightest, almost making you forget what you had come here for in the first place.

Almost.

“You’re always welcome here and there will always be room,” she smiled, helping you stand on your shaky legs. “Now come on, we’ll show you around.”

++++++

“Take your shoes off and put ‘em in the rack before you come in,” Joel’s gruff voice cut through the air as you followed him up the steps to the porch which was painted a light shade of brown. Heeding his request, you untied your boots and let the laces hang down the sides of the shoes and without another word, followed him into the house.

After you had finished your tour around town, Maria had insisted that Joel lead you to your “temporary” place of residence and show you your room. The sun hadn’t even set, its rays still shining down on Jackson without abandon but you felt the exhaustion of the week spent in the infirmary slowly come down on you like feathers dropping onto your shoulders.

The exterior matched the interior, with minimal furniture and a layout that was certainly easy to memorize. The kitchen and the dining area on your left and the living room to your right. Other than looking over his shoulder to see if you listened to his earlier request, Joel paid you no mind, letting you explore the house as you wish. Hanging your jacket on the coat stand and placing your boots in the rack, you headed to the living room first. You sighed softly at the warmth of the fireplace as your fingers ghosted over the brown, worn out leather of the couch and a part of you wondered just how many times he had accidentally fallen asleep on it rather than his bed.

A sudden ‘thump’ from your left drew your curiosity to the corner of the room. You took a second to appreciate the small library Joel had set up on a wide, wooden bookshelf and to also admire his slightly obvious affinity for reading. He didn’t seem like the bookworm type, especially if you took him at face value. A book laid on the ground and as soon as you picked it up, you wiped the dust off the cover with your sleeve. “An Idiot’s Guide to Space.” It made your eyebrows raise in curiosity, the pad of your thumb brushing over the somehow sleek cover of the book.

“Didn’t peg you as a space nerd,” his head tilted in the direction of your voice, eyes focusing on you as you kept your back to him. Smoke rose from the surface of his coffee, watching it disappear as he let the comment hang in the air for a while but you didn’t mind, not expecting a reply from him in the first place.

“‘M not. I’m into woodworkin’ and a lil’ bit of history but none of that—” he brushes it off with a wave of his hand in the air. “—whatever. But, uh, Ellie, she likes space so I’m tryna figure out half the things she says.”

“You have a daughter?” You would be lying if you said you were surprised.

“No, no.” Shaking his head, he wiped his hands on the towel that hung from the oven, idly walking toward you. “She’s a kid I came here with, saved her from getting eaten alive out there.” His footsteps got nearer and nearer and you felt your words die in the back of your throat when you felt his presence behind you, the scent of coffee and his natural aroma invading your senses. You made no move to turn, your eyes scanning the title of the book over and over until it was ingrained in your mind.

You snapped out of your daze when he cleared his throat and you looked over your shoulder, seeing a cup of coffee in each of his hands and you hurriedly returned the book to the shelf. Turning around, you carefully took the mug from his left hand, blowing gently before taking a sip. You peered at him from over the rim as you muttered a soft ‘thank you’, not noticing how he hid his face by sipping his own coffee.

Not long after, you found yourselves on the couch, a noticeable space in between you and him. Joel was never one for small talk but he gave himself the chance to indulge in it, just this once maybe. He found it comforting, talking to someone with no apparent knowledge of him and his actions prior to his new life in town.

“Five years huh?”

“Yep.” Joel would consider himself a quiet person so it was a surprise when all the questions you asked didn’t go unanswered. Some were short and brisk but you seemed to understand him, not pressing on the subject unless he elaborated further. “Time’s fast though, it’s the reason my back always hurts like a bitch.”

Your chuckle echoed through the otherwise empty house as you leaned over to put your now-empty mug on the coffee table, right beside where Joel put his. The embers in the fireplace crackled, the fire fizzing as it slowly died. A sigh escaped your lips, making Joel’s head turn and watch as you rolled your shoulders. “I guess that’s my cue to go to bed.”

“Alright then,” he stood after you, his palms pushing him up and he tipped his head toward the stairs. “Lemme show you your room.”

It wasn’t anything startling, a simple bed next to the window on the left and a small dresser on the right. You were just grateful for the clean sheets and the assurance of the locks on the front and back door. Pulling the handles, the dresser revealed a small pile of clean clothes that smelled like they were fresh out of the laundry.

“I traded a few things in for ‘em, don’t mention it.” He said, seeing your mouth opening and about to release a cluster of words of gratitude and ‘you didn’t have to’s. “‘Just wanted my first guest to be comfortable.”

“Well, I’ll rate you five stars on Airbnb,” you teased, biting your lip to suppress a smirk when he let out a hearty laugh, one you heard from Maria to be a “rare find these days” yet you find yourself chuckling along with him.

“Wait, you know what that is?” An excited expression graced his face, the corners of his eyes wrinkling and his teeth showing as his lips pulled up into a grin. His arm went up to rest his weight on the door, his free hand resting on his waist.

“I’m not as young as you think, Mr. Miller.” He extended a hand toward you and you looked up at him through your eyelashes, his laugh turned into a ghost of a smile on his face.

“Call me Joel.” The edges of your lips quirked up as you took his calloused hand into your smooth one.

“Nice to finally meet you, Joel.”

You learned two things that night: Joel was in his 30s when the outbreak began and he gets talky when he gets his coffee.

++++++

“Took you long enough,” the blonde's familiar voice echoed from behind you and you bit back a groan.

Sometime after the moon was high into the sky and you were sure that Joel had locked his door, you quietly slid out of bed and down the stairs, relief flooding you for the absence of a creaky staircase. Slipping your coat back on, you grimaced at the thought of soiling Joel’s living room before you ultimately decided to grab your boots and put them on once you got out the back door.

Sneaking out—of the house and of Jackson—was easy enough but navigating through the night without a flashlight made the hairs on your neck stand with every soft whisper of the wind. You remained on high alert, hands grasping your gun tight but you felt the tension in your shoulders relax when you saw the familiar shack, a dim glow lighting up the inside.

“Give me a break, he was a bit chattier than what you told me,” you muttered, slumping onto the couch beside Manny and Owen, giving both men a fist bump. Leaning back onto the backrest, you slung your ankle over your other knee and crossed your arms over your chest as Abby stayed standing, watching the small fire flicker inside the lamp. “What now, boss? Do I bring out the good ol’ golf club and finish the job?”

“Are you ridiculous?” Came her retort and you bit back a laugh at her annoyed expression. “If that was our plan, his brother might come after me and we’d all be dead. If you wanted me to get killed that easily, you could’ve said so.” Her braid swung over her shoulder as she stretched her neck.

“That was a joke, Abigail, if you couldn’t tell,” you could see her jaw tighten, as if she was stopping herself from bashing your head with a golf club. Her distaste for you was loud and clear and it was evident the feeling was reciprocated.

The plan was simple: infiltrate Jackson, get Joel to fall in love with you, lure him out of Jackson by pretending you got kidnapped, then Abby finishes the job in a ratty, old cabin without any witnesses, the same one you were in right now.

“And why me? She could do it herself if she really wanted him killed,” you mused as you glanced at Abby, crossing your arms as Isaac tries but fails to stifle a chuckle.

“No way in hell,” she snarled, her hands balling into fists from the top of the table. “Am I gonna get all lovey-dovey on the man who killed my father. If anything, the only time I’m gonna be laying my hands on him is when I finally get to murder that son of a bitch.”

“You’re also closer to his age than Abby.” Owen piped up, pushing himself off the wall he leaned on. You tried not to roll your eyes but it was difficult when he was being such a fucking tryhard.

“More important than that,” Isaac sent the two a pointed look, putting his elbows on the table and resting his chin on his intertwined fingers. “You’re my most valuable soldier, my right hand, if I may. If there’s anyone this self-proclaimed mission needs, it’s you.” Pride swelled deep in your heart and the daggers Abby stared into your skull didn’t go unnoticed, but it went without a response. 

“Alright, alright, let’s get things done,” Manny started, clearing his throat as he put his weight forward, resting his forearms on his thighs as the attention completely turned to you. “What happened today?”

Clearing your throat, your mind raked through the events of today as your teeth dragged over your teeth. “For one, it’s a miracle I got there in the first place,” your hand smoothed over the back of your neck, wincing when you felt a sting travel from your nape. “You did a number on me, Anderson, felt like I was on the brink of death when I got there.” Abby felt more than smug at your admission because making your life hell is her mission in progress, the side quest of her main task: getting revenge on Joel Miller. 

Before you started to traverse through the remote area the town was situated in, Abby insisted on getting you roughed up. Just a little to invoke sympathy in the people, but she beat the shit out of you so hard you even felt bad for yourself. 

“Just get on with it,” she said, a barely-there, shit-eating grin on her face but you only dug your nails into your palms, not having the energy to contest. “What about Joel?”

“Met him almost instantly, right after they let me out of my hospital bed,” you picked on the hidden bandages that were wrapped around your torso as your body started to throb from the pain you’ve been trying to conceal since you stepped foot in the town. “Then they told me I’ll be staying in his house until they get my house fixed up.”

Abby’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. She wasn’t, by all means, religious but she was taken aback at how Joel was being served to her on a silver platter, like someone out there wanted her to take what she’s been longing for. Not to kill Joel, but to avenge her father in the same way he was taken from her.

“One thing I noticed though,” your voice broke her out of her revenge-filled reverie, looking at you with an unreadable expression. “Was that it’ll take a while for him to fall in love with me, not that I’m basing it off on assumptions but he’s a quiet person in general.” “How long is “a while”?” Mel asked, coming out from one of the bedrooms with her hands on her hips, looking at you expectantly.

“Maybe a year if I’m right.”

“A year? We can’t wait around here for that long,” grumbled Abby, who was greeted with a groan from you. Massaging your temples with your thumb and middle finger and trying to prolong the coming of your inevitable headache, you offered an idea.

“Radio. You got one back at base and I’m sure they have one I can borrow,” you raised your eyebrows, expecting an answer from the blonde. “How’s that?” Her arms crossed over her chest and her knee bounced, a habit she had when she was lost in thought. Eventually, she spoke again yet her words were dripping with skepticism.

“Every Saturday at this time, you give us a weekly report with all the necessary details and, if you can, add in your ETC so we know when to strike. If everything is ready to go, the code word is “do not disturb.” Wrote all that down?”

“Ma’am, yes, ma’am,” you joked, mock saluting her as you stood, only rolling her eyes at you as you shrugged your coat back on and headed out, but not before bidding them a good night and wishing them a safe trip back to Seattle in the morning. They all watched as you weaved through the thick trees scattered in the forest, their attention never wavering, not until you disappeared in the darkness of the night.

It wasn’t a rare occurrence for Abby to be losing sleep over this. It was something her brain did often, questioning her own methods and skills. This time, it settled on the fact that this mission would take a year to complete, more or less. Was it really worth the time?

Then again, she waited five years to kill him. Another year wouldn’t hurt, right?

++++++

[princess-of-the-corner]

Fic Snip from Kingdom Hearts - Destiny Vault:

--

    The old man scoffed and adjusted his glasses.  “To think I crossed the Misty Stream to attend a trade partner’s royal’s ascension only to be trapped in a mystic curse,” he grumbled.

    Sora blinked, picking up on the mention of the space sector they had just passed through.  “Wait, what was that?”

    “Sora!” a familiar voice blurted from several feet away.  He turned to locate the source of the voice when a brunette in a purple dress ran up and wrapped him in a bear hug.

    Kairi and Mickey gasped as they recognized the girl.  Sora pulled her off to get a look at her face, and he was just as shocked as them.  “Rapunzel?”

    The princess of Corona laughed.  “It’s good to see you,” she said.

    Sora chuckled nervously.  “Uh, same.  But what are you doing here?” he asked.  “This isn’t anywhere near Corona.”

    “Well, the same thing that the rest of us are doing here,” the old man said.  “This kingdom has guests from many different kingdoms and nations spreading far and wide.  I am the duke representing Weselton, Arendelle’s closest trading partner.”

    Sora crossed his arms as he processed what he was being told, his confusion visible on his face.  “You… crossed the sea between worlds?”

    The Duke of Weselton nodded.  “As we have done several times in our many years of international relations,” he added, as if it should have been obvious.

    “M-Many years?” Sora parroted in bewilderment.  “But I thought the worlds were supposed to be separate, and people weren’t supposed to know that there were other worlds beyond their own.  ‘World Order’, Donald keeps telling me.”

    “That would be true for the common gentry,” a man dressed in a Colonial British naval uniform interjected.  “But governments and blue-blooded houses have known of the greater World for centuries, and have engaged in international relations with many of the other lands since we have been able.”

    Sora and his companions were taken aback.  People have been traveling between worlds long before them?  If so, then what was the point of the secrecy that Donald always used to give him grief over?

    Goofy leaned down to whisper into Mickey’s ear.  “Did you know about this, your Majesty?” he asked.

    Mickey shrugged.  “My experience with external relations was mostly related to my responsibilities as a Keyblade Master,” he replied.  “Though I guess that explains how Minnie and Scrooge understood it well enough.”

    “Kingdoms and nations that make business in commerce cannot well trade or profit much if their reach is a world border that stops two meters from the edge of their dominion,” the British merchant added.  “Were that so, the East India Trading Company would not exist.”

    “East India Trading Company?  I feel like I’ve heard that somewhere before,” Kairi mused.

    “Oh, there you are, Rapunzel.  I was wondering where you’d run off to.”  The party turned to the new speaker and recognized him as Eugene Fitzherbert, accompanied by one of the Kingdom of Corona’s royal guards.  He was dressed in more formal attire, donning a black suit with a purple vest marked with the sun-shaped sigil of Corona.  Sora smiled, putting his confusion to one side as he was simply happy to see his friend.  “Oh, hello there, Sora, Kairi, Mickey, Goofy.  Fancy seeing you here.”

    “Hey, Eugene,” Sora greeted.

    “Hang on.  The worlds had barriers separating them until a few years ago.  How have you been able to sail the Lanes Between before that?” Kairi asked.

    The trading company merchant smirked.  “We have our means,” he said cryptically.  “Although I’ll admit, we did enjoy the lack of barriers in the last few years, even while our business locations were being lost.”

    “But how do you reinforce your ships against the darkness of the Lanes Between?” Mickey asked.  “Especially for the crew members out in the open.”

    “Really?  I didn’t feel a thing,” Eugene remarked.  “Then again, I don’t really understand what you’re talking about.”

    “A-hyuck.  I guess you could say the same thing about Captain Hook’s pirate ship,” Goofy said, recalling how the vessel sailed around the Gummi Ship to ambush and capture them.  The trading company merchant frowned at the mention of pirates.

    Rapunzel shivered and did an erratic jig.  “Brrr…  My feet are freezing!” she complained.

    “Say, maybe we should find you some shoes,” Eugene suggested.

    “And a cloak, too,” Hans added.

    “It’s that blasted queen’s curse,” the Duke spat.  “That monster and her wretched sorcery.”

    Eugene was incensed at the Duke’s remarks against magic, as Rapunzel used to have powers and Sora and company had their magic, and they would by extension fall under his “wretched monsters” categorization.  He stepped up close to the Duke and glared down at him.  “Do you have something against magic, pal?”

    The Duke gulped in reaction to his threatening tone, then quickly composed himself and cleared his throat.  “As a matter of fact, I do,” he replied sternly.  His bodyguards gently nudged Eugene to take a step back.

    Eugene shrugged.  “I’ll admit, I’m not sure what answer I was expecting.”  The Corona guard rolled his eyes.

--

Yeah, I threw off the whole established understanding of the worlds here. (Though, honestly, at times it feels like this makes more sense.) And Eugene is really fun to write.

GOD THOUGH LIKE

I know there's probably a reason for it in-universe but they really should let the characters interact between worlds

[psifitopia]

fanfic help

So, I have, for quite a while now, been attempting to write a Mad Max/Star Trek crossover. I have a bunch of characters and even their motives in place. I know certain things I want to have happen (the Enterprise crew helping Max get out of his spiral of despair, for one). I definitely want Max to have a weird friendship with Spock. I want Max to accept his position as someone who helps bring civilization back to Australia (he's helped at least three or four groups that we know of). At the same time, it's Star Trek, so I'm trying to keep this from being overly dark.

Aver and company are well-meaning idiots. Think Mudd if he actually had a worthwhile intention. They get to learn something too.

But I'm stuck. I don't even know why I'm stuck. I just don't know what to write next. So, in an attempt to get unstuck, I'm going to post the whole thing under a cut and ask for help. Maybe some constructive criticism will help me forge ahead or even just talking about it. I appreciate any help/suggestions!

Author's note: All alien languages are conveniently translated into idiomatic English, for the comfort and entertainment of the reader. You're welcome. Also, I tweak the Star Trek timeline a bit, because three years is incredibly fast for a recovery from the Eugenics Wars.

Aver Gaque hummed happily, as he strolled down the corridors of his spaceship. Ahhh, he loved history. A hard snap, followed by cursing, interrupted Aver's pleasant musings. Shaking his head, Aver approached the forcefield separating him from his upset...guest. Now, what language did this creature speak? Ah, of course. Chomskese.

"Now, now. You'll only hurt yourself."

"Let me go! I am the king!"

"Well. You're a king, certainly, certainly. But, you see, you lost the battle with the Romulans. If I hadn't taken you, you would have died. Now, doesn't that earn me a little gratitude?"

"What do you want with me?" King Cimtiv growled.

"I want to display you in my museum."

"Display?!"

"Well, of course. You're an important historical figure, but not one that people know very much about. My museum will change that. People will be able to speak with you and learn about your time period directly from you. I promise you, you'll be very comfortable."

"What makes you think history will care about me?"

"Oh, I know it does! You see, I originate from about two thousand years in your future. My, you're a modest one. Surely, you know the importance of your work in joining the Federation and driving the Romulans from your planet?"

"You just said I died in battle."

"Oh, yes, you did. It was quite heroic and inspiring! The people of Chomsk rose up in a fury after the battle..."

The floor bucked beneath their feet, almost sending Aver to his knees and Cimtiv into the forcefield. Aver steadied himself, turning to gape for a brief moment at Cimtiv, before dashing off down the corridor. Fortunately, he reached his bridge quickly.

"Curator!" his helmsman, Seum, greeted. "It's a Federation ship. Sir. It's the Enterprise. Anyone from that ship would make a momentous display."

"Yes...no! No. It's too risky. We have to protect what we already have. Navator, disable their tracking device. Seum, make a time jump."

"When and where?"

"Earth 1995. We're going after our next exhibit."

"I thought we'd already collected everyone of interest from there," Seum said, sending a quantum magnetic pulse at the Enterprise.

"Almost," Aver grunted, as the ship faded and restabilized in the past. "There is one man, though, who we know almost nothing about. And we're going to find him."

"Seum!" Navator growled. "You have to give me more than thirty seconds!"

Aver sighed.

"Navator. Are we still attached to the Enterprise?"

Navator slammed his finger into a few buttons, before answering.

"Not. Anymore."

Seum groaned.

"I'm sorry! It's the Enterprise. I thought you would speed things up!"

"I can't speed up physics for your convenience, Seum!"

"GENTLEMEN. It doesn't matter. We have two advantages over the Enterprise. Firstly, we can land directly on the planet and, secondly, we can camouflage ourselves to appear as part of the surroundings. So, why don't we do that, very promptly, hmm?"

"Captain's Log. Stardate 7604.28. James T. Kirk commanding. Thanks to some unknown alien, we have arrived hundreds of years into Earth's past. Our mission is to rescue King Cimvtiv of Chomsk from the aliens who kidnapped him and return him to his planet, the newest member of the Federation. Unfortunately, the alien ship disappeared, as it entered Earth's atmosphere. Our sensors have been unable to pick up any trace of the ship...and very little in the way of Earth technology.

Earth. Our readings show that this is Earth in the latter part of the twentieth century, a dark time. The Eugenics Wars are over, but Earth is in the earliest stages of recovery. Most countries are in chaos. Food, water, and fuel are all in short supply. Society, in many countries, has almost entirely collapsed. We actually know very little about this time period. Historical records from this time are rare.

Our scanners show very few signs of organized society. Most of the technology is either transportation or weapons. Some countries' populations are almost entirely nomadic. Ecological damage is severe, with famine and drought...rampant.

The good news is no one will care about who we are. The bad news is that won't stop them from trying to kill us, if they think we have anything of value.

However difficult, we must find and rescue King Cimvtiv, without disturbing the timeline."

Kirk ended his log and turned to Spock, who stood gazing cooly at him.

"And, I am open to suggestions."

"We were able to form a trajectory from the alien ship's emissions. The emissions decreased, once the ship disappeared from our sensors, but some remained. Based on that trajectory, we narrowed the field to a twenty-mile radius on the fringes of Sydney, Australia."

"Twenty miles, Mr. Spock?"

Kirk frowned up at him, but Spock shook his head, firmly.

"Given the alien ship's capabilities, we were fortunate to narrow it down that much."

"Twenty miles, which we will have to cover on foot?"

"Indeed, Captain, and this is a decaying age. From what our sensors detect, most clothing is leather and other durable goods from twenty years ago or animal skins from recent kills."

"That bad."

Kirk gave himself a few seconds to grieve for the humans of this time, then shook himself.

"So, the landing party will have to be small."

The bridge went still, wondering who the captain would choose to go.

"Captain. This is a high-risk mission. I must recommend that no one in the command chain go down."

"Risk is part of the job, Spock. We know almost nothing about this time period. We don't have an expert we can rely on. I'm going, with one security guard. Any more than that and we risk detection."

"Very well, Captain," Spock said, his tone heavy with a suppressed sigh. "Then, I recommend that you take Arthur Temadsen with you. The lieutenant has expertise in hand-to-hand combat, projectile weaponry, and a personal interest in archaic engineering."

"What kind of archaic engineering?"

"Combustion engines seem to be his main, though probably not only, focus."

"Very well. Have him report to the transporter room. Order the computer to replicate suitable clothing."

Kirk suppressed a sigh, seeing the "suitable clothing" that waited for him. Lt. Temadsen was wearing a leather jacket. The left side of the jacket was black leather, while the right side was short-haired fur. A length of chain around his waist held up thick, stained denim trousers, torn and patched. Heavy black boots completed the outfit. Temadsen hadn't bothered with headgear, his hair close-cropped enough to fit in well enough.

"Well. That is stylish," Kirk drawled, flatly.

Temadsen smiled, his bright blue eyes twinkling with humor, though he held in a grin. He handed Kirk a heavy bundle.

"Yours, Captain. I'm afraid it isn't any better."

"Well, I don't imagine it's much worse."

Kirk went behind the transporter console to change and revised his opinion. His boots, fortunately, were similar to Temadsen's. The rest of his outfit was leather, except for the parts that were metal chains. Some of the chains formed a codpiece that went up from his groin to wrap around his hips, uncomfortably like a metal diaper. More lengths of chain ran from a heavy belt around his waist from front to back, forming a sort of vest over a stained shirt. A short cape was tied loosely around his neck. Kirk ran his fingers over the metal studs that covered the sides of the helmet he'd been given.

"Are all these chains really a good idea? Who designed this?"

"I picked it out, sir," Temadsen admitted, sheepishly. "I thought you should look more dangerous than me."

"Dangerous? Well, yes, I suppose anyone who would wear this could be considered that."

"I had the computer replicate some weapons our scans indicate will blend in. We'd look odd, and be targets, without them, sir."

Kirk examined the array of weapons, handguns, rifles, and knives of various sizes, grimacing. He picked up a serrated knife and sighed.

"All right. We'll carry these, but remember we're not here to fight. We'll also carry standard phasers, set to stun. Let's hope we don't have to use any of this."

"Of course, sir," Temadsen agreed, taking his share of the weapons and tucking them away.

Most living things yearn to communicate. Birds cheep, garbluses spriffle, and cats meow. Thinking beings, inevitably, feel the need to talk with each other. If there was a song to the universe, it was the sonic tide of voices, spreading a throbbing harmony of greeting, information, and idle gossip.

Of course, the song was flawed. Discordant notes, fighting, screaming, and cursing, broke up the harmony. Still, there was something reliable about the constant presence of chatter in sentient societies. This one was no different. Aver strode out of his ship, wearing loose layers of linen that covered the feather-like feelers that covered his cheeks and chin. They almost could have passed for a human beard, if they weren't a vibrant green. So, he and Seum wore linen over their leathers, as they headed out into the desert.

Seum looked around, frowning.

"It's amazing this planet came back from this wreck."

"That's why what we do is so important, Seum. History is a guide, to keep from repeating terrible errors and history is most effective, when you can learn about it firsthand."

"So, you never feel any doubts about taking people?"

"When we take someone who will be missed, living a content life...yes. But, it's for the greater good," Aver insisted, looking around, then sighing. "I certainly won't have any qualms about removing someone from here. They'll be far better off."

"Yeah, steady food and drink is a good thing. Are you sure our display will be around here?"

"He has to be somewhere. We're directly in the center of the triangle formed by the three civilizations he is supposed to have founded. Most nomadic sentients keep within a certain territory. For now, we will suppose he is in the area. If he isn't, we might find someone who is familiar with his route."

Seum grabbed Aver's arm and dragged him behind a nearby tent, making a warning hiss in his throat.

"Now, Seum," Aver whispered. "Do calm down. This is a dangerous time, certainly, but we've braved worse."

"I saw a transporter beam."

"Then, again, we've never been pursued by the Enterprise. Which direction?"

"East."

"Fine. We'll go North."

"Not west?"

"No, no. They'll probably head in a straight line. North it is, unless you prefer to go south?"

Seum blinked, giving a half-shrug.

"I don't see how it matters. North is good. Though. Maybe we should try and get a look at them?"

"Erm. I'd rather not, thank you."

"But..."

"Oh, all right! Don't twist my arm about it," Aver snapped, his face feelers throbbing and inflating.

"I thought you told me to calm down."

"Yes, well, I did. It's no good both of us being anxious. I need you to keep a clear head."

Seum kept his sigh silent, nodding. There was no use arguing. Aver was simply like that, so Seum headed north.

[adelha-mathilde]

RP post turned drabble part 3

// part 3 of the drabble caused by @sillydoctor​ //

The workshop was bustling with activity. Since there was a white dragon the size of a Bengal tiger currently laying in the grass. All five puppies laying on top of the dragon as Aqua the kitten sat on the front porch of the workshop. The nine year old Seiya bug eyed as he walks up to see the dragon and whistle. “Whoah! It’s a real live dragon! Where did it come from? can I pet it?”

Eugene Currier comes out of the workshop carrying a jar of healing salve. His words warm and yet hinting at caution. “I do not think our Margaret will enjoy having you pet her broken nose, Seiya. But she will let you sit with her.”

Seiya gives a gasp to really look at the dragon. “Wait... Delly?! She turned into a DRAGON?! How?! Is she gonna be okay?! How did she break her nose?!”

Eugene sits beside the dragon’s head to uncork the jar of salve. The dragon lifting it’s head up to place it on Eugene’s leg as he sighs. “There was an incident earlier today. Which ended in Margaret looking like this. It may take some time before she can go back to being a regular human magus. So all of us are going to be camping in the arboretum for a while. Which means you don’t need to clean your room. But you do get to help with the chores here.”

Seiya gives a pout to then cross his arms and grump. “Oh okay. Since Delly can’t water the flowers or make us dinner. But I’m not taking any baths!” This causes the dragon to use it’s tail to give Seiya a pat on the head. Making him gasp in awe to then gently pet the tail. “This is so COOL!”

[sentient-rift]

Continued from here.

"Megaman... We seem to have some familiar guests visiting us."

"Megaman. Hikari."

"Chaud? Protoman? And... Is that...?"

"Deputy Planetman, at your service!"

"Deputy...? You mean you work for the Net Police now?"

"Correct, sir... Um, have we met?"

"Don't mind him. After his deletion, we found his leftover data, and he had no memory of his past. Having nowhere to go, he became my Link Navi and is now a member of the Net Police."

"Lost his memory... So he's just like me..."

"Anyway, we're here about the Dimensional Rift. We talked to Rift before seeing you, so we pretty much know the situation. With that said, we must officially monitor the activity here in order to make sure it doesn't cause any damage to our world or the cyber world."

"But unofficially, we're gonna join you in helping you guys fix dimensions. Looks like we're partners again, Megaman."

(Eugene Chaud, Protoman.EXE, and Planetman.EXE have joined the party!)

[bexmuses]

Two Thieves and a Pirate

@goofymuses (Jack Sparrow)

It had been quite a haul that day. Flynn and Lance had managed to knock off not one jewelry store, but two. They’d worked in perfect tandem, despite being buildings apart, and Flynn had been delighted to see the guards getting mixed reports about where exactly the robbery had taken place.

But he didn’t wait around to watch the show, tempting as it was. He grabbed Lance, and the two of them high-tailed it for the docks, to make one more heist for the day: a boat, to get the hell outta Dodge and sail around peacefully until the heat was off.

Two pairs of feet pounded downhill, letting the momentum of gravity carry them. Two pairs of ears strained for the sound of hoofbeats they both expected. Two pairs of eyes were not exactly looking where they were going because their owners were too focused on whether or not they were being followed.

[papermoonloveslucy]

ZIEGFELD FOLLIES

April 8, 1946

Directors: Lemuel Ayers, Roy Del Ruth. Vincente Minnelli, George Sidney,  Norman Taurog, Charles Walters. Robert Lewis Producer: Arthur Freed for Metro Goldwyn Mayer

The shooting schedule ran between April 10 and August 18, 1944, with retakes plus additional segments filmed on December 22, 1944 and then between January 25 and February 6, 1945. The film was first proposed in 1939. 

Synopsis ~ We meet a grayed, immaculately garbed Florenz Ziegfeld, Jr. in Paradise (his diary entry reads "Another heavenly day"), where he looks down upon the world and muses over the sort of show he'd be putting on were he still alive.

PRINCIPAL CAST

Lucille Ball ('Here's to the Ladies') is appearing in her 64th film since coming to Hollywood in 1933. 

Fred Astaire ('Here's to the Ladies' / Raffles in 'This Heart of Mine' / Tai Long in 'Limehouse Blues’ / Gentleman in 'The Babbit and the Bromide') also appeared with Lucille Ball in Roberta (1935), Top Hat (1935), and Follow the Fleet (1936). His name was mentioned twice on “I Love Lucy.”

Lucille Bremer (Princess in 'This Heart of Mine' / Moy Ling in 'Limehouse Blues') 

Fanny Brice (Norma Edelman in 'A Sweepstakes Ticket') appeared in the original stage version of many editions of The Ziegfeld Follies on Broadway.

Judy Garland (The Star in 'A Great Lady Has An Interview') also starred with Lucille Ball in Thousands Cheer (1943). 

Kathryn Grayson (Kathryn Grayson in 'Beauty') also starred with Lucille Ball in Thousands Cheer (1943).

Lena Horne (Lena Horne in 'Love') also starred with Lucille Ball in Thousands Cheer (1943).

Gene Kelly (Gentleman in 'The Babbit and the Bromide') also starred with Lucille Ball in Thousands Cheer (1943),  Du Barry Was A Lady (1943), and A Guide for the Married Man (1967). He made an appearance on the Lucille Ball special “Lucy Moves to NBC” (1980).  

James Melton (Alfredo in 'La Traviata')

Victor Moore (Lawyer's Client in 'Pay the Two Dollars')

Red Skelton (J. Newton Numbskull in 'When Television Comes') also starred with Lucille Ball in Having Wonderful Time (1938), Thousands Cheer (1943),  Du Barry Was A Lady (1943), and The Fuller Brush Girl (1950).  On TV he appeared on “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in “Lucy Goes To Alaska” (1958). Ball and Skelton appeared in numerous TV specials together. 

Esther Williams (Esther Williams in 'A Water Ballet') also appeared with Lucille Ball in Easy To Wed (1946). 

William Powell (Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.) also played the same character in The Great Ziegfeld (1936). 

Edward Arnold (Lawyer in 'Pay the Two Dollars') appeared with Lucille Ball in Roman Scandals (1933) and Ellis in Freedomland (1952).

Marion Bell (Violetta in 'La Traviata')

Cyd Charisse (Ballerina in 'Beauty') also starred with Lucille Ball in Thousands Cheer (1943).

Hume Cronyn (Monty in 'A Sweepstakes Ticket') was honored by The Kennedy Center in 1986, at the same ceremony as Lucille Ball. 

William Frawley (Martin in 'A Sweepstakes Ticket') played the role of Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy” and “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”. He also appeared on “The Lucy Show,” his final screen appearance. 

Robert Lewis (Chinese Gentleman in 'Limehouse Blues' / Telephone Voice in 'Number Please')

Virginia O'Brien (Virginia O'Brien in 'Here's to the Ladies') also starred with Lucille Ball in Thousands Cheer (1943),  Du Barry Was A Lady (1943), and Meet The People (1944). 

Keenan Wynn (Caller in 'Number Please') appeared with Lucille Ball in Easy To Wed (1946), Without Love (1945), and The Long, Long Trailer (1954). 

SUPPORTING CAST

Ziegfeld Girls

Karin Booth  

Lucille Casey  

Aina Constant  

Elizabeth Dailey  

Frances Donelan  

Natalie Draper  

Karen X. Gaylord  

Aileen Haley  

Carol Haney  

Shirlee Howard  

Margaret Laurence  

Helen O'Hara  

Noreen Roth  

Elaine Shepard  

Kay Thompson  

Dorothy Tuttle  

Dorothy Van Nuys  

Eve Whitney - appeared on “I Love Lucy” episode “The Charm School” (ILL S3;E15).

Dancers

Gloria Joy Arden

Jean Ashton  

Irene Austin  

Judi Blacque  

Bonnie Barlowe  

Norman Borine  

Hazel Brooks  

Ed Brown  

Kathleen Cartmill  

Jack Cavan  

Marilyn Christine  

Laura Corbay  

Rita Dunn  

Meredyth Durrell  

Shawn Ferguson  

Jeanne Francis  

Jean French  

Mary Jane French  

David Gray  

Bill Hawley  

Doreen Hayward  

Charlotte Hunter  

Virginia Hunter  

Patricia Jackson

Margaret Kays  

Laura Knight  

Laura Lane  

Dale Lefler  

Melvin Martin  

Diane Meredith  

Lorraine Miller  

Joyce Murray  

Janet Nevis  

Ray Nyles  

Billy O'Shay  

Jane Ray  

Dorothy Raye  

Beth Renner

Melba Snowden  

Walter Stane  

Ivon Starr  

Robert Trout  

Chorus Boys

Rod Alexander

Milton Chisholm  

Dick D'Arcy  

Dante DiPaolo  

Don Hulbert  

Herb Lurie  

Matt Mattox  

Bert May - appeared on “The Lucy Show” in “Lucy and Tennessee Ernie Ford”

Jack Purcell  

Tommy Rall  

Ricky Ricardi (!)

Alex Romero

“LIMEHOUSE BLUES” starring Fred Astaire, Lucille Bremer, and Robert Lewis

Robert Ames (Masked Man)  

James Barron (Couple with Banners)  

Eleanor Bayley (Couple with Branches)  

Mary Jo Ellis (Couple with Banners)  

Sean Francis (Ensemble)  

James King (Rooster)  

Harriet Lee (Bar Singer) 

Eugene Loring (Costermonger)  

Charles Lunard (Masked Man)  

Patricia Lynn (Ensemble)  

Ruth Merman (Ensemble)  

Garry Owen (1st Subway Policeman)  

Ellen Ray (Couple with Parasols)  

Jack Regas (Masked Man)  

Billy Shead (Couple with Parasols)  

Ronald Stanton (Couple with Branches)  

Wanda Stevenson (Ensemble)  

Ray Teal (2nd Subway Policeman)  

“LOVE” starring Lena Horne

Juliette Ball (Club Patron)   

Lennie Bluett (Dancer)   

Suzette Harbin (Flirt)   

Avanelle Harris (Club Patron)  

Maggie Hathaway (Dancer)  

Charles Hawkins (Club Patron)  

Marie Bryant (Woman Getting Her Man Taken)   

Cleo Herndon (Dancer)   

“THIS HEART OF MINE” starring Fred Astaire and Lucille Bremer

Helen Boyce (Countess)   

Feodor Chaliapin Jr. (Lieutenant)

Naomi Childers (Duchess)

Charles Coleman (Majordomo)   

Sam Flint (Majordomo's Assistant)

Sidney Gordon (Masked Man)   

Count Stefenelli (Count)   

Robert Wayne (Dyseptic)   

“PAY THE TWO DOLLARS”  starring Edward Arnold and Victor Moore

William Bailey (Subway Passenger)

Joseph Crehan (1st Judge) - played a Detective on “I Love Lucy” “The Great Train Robbery”

William B. Davidson (2nd Judge)

Eddie Dunn (3rd Subway Policeman)   

Harry Hayden (Warden)   

George Hill (2nd Subway Policeman)   

Wilbur Mack (Subway Passenger)   

Larry Steers (Magistrate)

“NUMBER PLEASE” starring Keenan Wynn

Peter Lawford (Voice of Porky)

Grady Sutton (Texan)

Audrey Totter (Phone Operator Voice)

Kay Williams (Girl)

OTHERS

Bunin's Puppets

Elise Cavanna (Tall Woman)

Jack Deery (Man)

Rex Evans (Butler in "A Great Lady Has An Interview”)

Sam Garrett (Roping / Twirling Act)

Silver (Horse in "Here's to the Ladies') 

Arthur Walsh (Telegraph Boy in "A Sweepstakes Ticket") - appeared on “I Love Lucy” in “Lucy Has Her Eyes Examined” (ILL S3;E11). 

��FOLLIES’ TRIVIA

Sidney Guilaroff, Lucille Ball’s hair dresser, who takes responsibility for her famous ‘golden red’ for this movie, becoming her trademark color.

Although they appear in different segments, this is the only feature film collaboration between “I Love Lucy co-stars" Lucille Ball and William Frawley. Coincidently, Frawley's character in this film shares a striking similarity with his iconic character of Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy.” In this film he plays a money-hungry curmudgeon of a landlord, much like the show. In the above photo, he appears with director Minnelli and co-star Brice. 

The horse ridden by Lucille Ball is the Lone Ranger's Silver!

Lucille Ball was actually fired by Ziegfeld from his road company production of Rio Rita in the 1930s.

In February 1956, Lucy and Desi appeared on “MGM Parade” to promote their MGM film Forever Darling. The show also included footage of Lena Horne singing from Ziegfeld Follies. 

Lucy also played a showgirl in pink in “Lucy Gets Into Pictures” (ILL S4;E19) aired on February 21, 1955. The scene was inspired by Ziegfeld’s legendary stage shows featuring beautiful women wearing elaborate costumes navigating long staircases. To solidify the comparison, Ricky says he is going to a meeting with Mr. Minnelli. Vincente Minnelli was one of the directors of Ziegfeld Follies. 

Lucy Ricardo had previously cavorted around in a lampshade in the manner of a Ziegfeld girl in both the unaired pilot and “The Audition” (S1;E6).

Ziegfeld Follies includes a sketch for Red Skelton called “When Television Comes” aka “Guzzler’s Gin” in which a (future) television spokesman gets increasingly sloshed on his product. This sketch was an obvious influence on Lucy’s Vitameatavegamin routine in “Lucy Does a TV Commercial” (ILL S1;E30) aired on May 5, 1952. 

Ziegfeld Girl Eve Whitney appeared on “I Love Lucy” episode “The Charm School” (ILL S3;E15). She used her own name for the character.  

The Telegraph Boy in "A Sweepstakes Ticket" Arthur Walsh - appeared on “I Love Lucy” in “Lucy Has Her Eyes Examined” (ILL S3;E11) as Arthur ‘King Cat’ Walsh. He teaches Lucy how to jitterbug. 

The first Judge in the “Pay the Two Dollars” James Crehan also played the Police Detective on “I Love Lucy in “The Great Train Robbery” (ILL S5;E5) first aired on October 31, 1955.

Porky, a voice on the telephone in “Number Please” Peter Lawford, played “Password” against Lucille Ball on September 24, 1964.  At the time, Lawford was married to President Kennedy’s sister, Patricia. On November 26, 1968, Ball was a guest on “The Tonight Show” when Peter Lawford was sitting in for Johnny Carson.

Chorus Boy Bert May appeared as a solo dancer on “The Lucy Show” in “Lucy and Tennessee Ernie Ford” (TLS S5;E21) in February 1967. 

In the dressing room, Lucy jokes with Fanny Brice, one of the funniest women in showbusiness.  This was the only time Ball and Brice collaborated and was Brice’s last film. 

Ziegfeld’s follies began on Broadway, so it was appropriate that the show featured past and future Broadway musical stars:

Lucille Ball ~ Wildcat (1960)

Carol Haney ~ The Pajama Game (1954)

Tommy Rall ~ Call Me Madame (1950)

Fanny Brice ~ The Ziegfeld Follies 

Marion Bell ~ Brigadoon (1947)

Victor Moore ~ Anything Goes (1934)

There was a lot of material that was not filmed, but written and cast. Some of the original skits would have added “Lucy” performers Mickey Rooney, Ann Sothern, and Van Johnson to the cast.

[ultraglittercat]

Drabble 119

Royal Dinner

Varian was a little nervous to be heading to the castle, along with Quirin and Ruddiger. He could tell King Frederic still didn't like him much, even though Varian had been one of the citizens to fight valiantly against Zhan Tiri. Rapunzel had assured him that her father was slowly warming up to the idea of Varian as a good guy, and that although he hadn't admitted it, Frederic had been impressed with Varian's celebratory fireworks display earlier.

Still, Varian suspected that Arianna and Rapunzel were the only royals who really wanted him to be there for dinner. He would try to make a good impression anyway, that was why he and Quirin were bringing food- apple pie fresh from the farm. It had cooled during the journey from Old Corona and would probably be at the perfect temperature when dinner was served.

“Varian! Quirin! And of course Ruddiger! I'm so glad you could make it!” Rapunzel ran up and hugged them. She still missed Cass, but she was able to genuinely smile now.

“Remember, Rapunzel. We wait for the guests to be announced. And they really should be bowing before us.” Frederic pointed out. Evidently, he was serious about Rapunzel behaving more like royalty and less like a friend.

“Frederic, it's fine. I'm sure they were just about to bow.” Arianna came to their rescue.

“Your Majesties.” Quirin bowed, and so did Varian. Ruddiger jumped off Varian's shoulder and rubbed up against Arianna's ankles. Frederic gasped, but Arianna just laughed and petted the raccoon.

“Really, Frederic. It's just a harmless animal. Certainly better than an umlaut at any rate, and far less annoying.” Arianna maintained.

“Did someone say umlaut?” a perky voice asked. The voice belonged to a thin brunette woman Varian didn't know.

'Speaking of annoying...' Arianna thought secretly.

“The name's Willow, Arianna's sister. I used to be the proud owner of an umlaut, but I traded it for this.” Willow held up a cube with smaller colored pieces in 6 different shades. “It's a puzzle I'm told is completely unsolvable.” she bragged.

Varian's interest was piqued. “Can I try?” he asked.

Willow laughed. “Go ahead, you'll see it's impossible.” she said.

Varian twisted the pieces over and over until all the colors were lined up on each side. “Got it.” Varian announced. Arianna stifled a laugh.

“Did I mention how glad I was that you invited friends, Rapunzel?” Arianna smirked.

“I can't believe you solved it. You must be one smart kid.” Willow judged. She turned to address Quirin. “And who are you, the little genius' father?” she assumed.

“Yes, Varian's my son. I'm Quirin.” said Quirin.

“Well, you're a cute one.” Willow replied.

“Willow!” Arianna snapped. “I'm sorry, she has terrible manners.”

“I only told the truth.” Willow grumbled.

Quirin looked embarrassed, but Willow was only briefly shamed. “You're from that farming family, right? I remember when we were kids, Darianna and I snuck on to a farm on the outskirts of Corona and stole a bunch of apples, which we threw at boys we like. Darianna got Frederic right in the face! I think he still has the scar.” Willow recalled. Varian had to laugh, but he covered it up with a cough, so that Frederic wouldn't dislike him even more than he already did.

“That is enough, Willow. You will stop telling these humiliating stories and behave. We're about to have dinner. Our other guests, Eugene, Lance, Kiera, and Catalina are already waiting.” Arianna hissed.

Varian was relieved. The more people around, the less likely Frederic would focus negatively on him. But as they walked to the dining room, he noticed Frederic would periodically look at him and scowl. Rapunzel was wrong, the fireworks had hardly impressed him if he could still look this angry around Varian.

“We don't have room for everyone at the dining table. Varian you'll have to sit at the kids' table with Kiera and Catalina. Sorry.” Rapunzel apologized.

“It's the better table. We don't have to bump elbows with the grown ups.” Catalina said.

“And we can turn our napkins into spitballs!” Kiera added excitedly.

“Oh, I wish I was at the kids' table.” Lance sighed.

“I'm sure Varian will be just fine over there. Where do you want me to place the pie we brought?” Quirin asked.

“In the center of our table, next to the turkey and stuffing.” Arianna answered.

“I bet I can eat more stuffing than anybody!” Kiera bragged.

“You're on!” Catalina took up the challenge.

“I'm in too.” Lance declared.

“I'll just eat what's put in front of me.” Varian said meekly.

“Tell me again why we thought Varian was a better fit than Lance for the kids' table?” Eugene whispered. Rapunzel just giggled, and Pascal flicked his tongue out.

Frederic took a seat at the head of the adults' table, with Arianna on his left and Rapunzel on his right. Next to Rapunzel was Eugene, then Lance. Willow was next to Arianna and on her other side was Quirin. Everyone bowed their head in prayer.

“We thank God for providing us with good food and good company. In the name of the Lord, let's eat. Amen.” Frederic prayed.

“Amen.” the group chorused.

Frederic then began serving the turkey. Varian noticed that his piece was quite small, and entirely made of dark meat. Frederic glowered at him, as if daring the boy to complain.

“L-looks good.” Varian stammered.

“Aw, you got a crummy piece.” Kiera opined, shoving turkey into her mouth.

At the adults' table, things were a little better. Everyone had a plate full of delicious food and King Frederic was explaining to Willow how the demon Zhan Tiri had been defeated by his daughter. Rapunzel was modest, and told Willow that all her friends had helped, listing each one by name and including Varian and Quirin.

Willow turned to Quirin. “So you're a man of action. That's very attractive.” she noted.

“Willow, please. Quirin is a widower.” Arianna snarled.

“Then it's obviously been awhile since he was last complimented by a pretty girl.” Willow argued. Arianna gave up trying to discourage her pushy sister, while Quirin blushed and pretended to be very interested in his napkin. Varian felt sorry for his Dad, and wished he could change places with him, even if it meant being near Frederic.

“The turkey is really good.” Rapunzel said, trying to find a neutral topic.

“It's delicious.” Lance agreed, mouth full.

“And the stuffing is simply incredible.” Eugene added, taking a cue from Rapunzel.

“Wait'll you try the pie. It's one of my best recipes.” Quirin bragged.

“I do love sweet things.” Willow mused.

“No. Just no.” Arianna hissed.

“Two bowls of stuffing! Beat that!” Kiera said to Catalina.

“I only managed 1 and ½.” Catalina acknowledged softly.

“Three bowls. Guess I win!” Lance said with a burp.

“Ahem. Now that everyone's enjoyed dinner, we'll move on to dessert. Which in this case is just pie and nothing else.” Arianna looked at Willow pointedly. Willow looked as if she had a smart reply, but Arianna was glaring daggers at her, so she wisely held her tongue. She did give Quirin a few longing looks, which Quirin desperately tried to ignore. He and Varian ate their pie silently, each feeling sorry for the other's predicament. It was a good pie, but that didn't make the meal less awkward. And when dessert was finished, they bowed and took their leave, both very glad the royal dinner was over.

The End

Blame tumblr for the idea of Willow flirting with Quirin. I had more fun with this than I probably should have. :D

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 8: Black and White (originally published on January 25, 2021)

Author's Note: At long last, the long-awaited conclusion to Part 1 of Steven Universe: Alternate Future is upon us! This may seem like an innocuous love letter to the mockumentary genre (I even watched This is Spinal Tap on HBO Max for inspiration), but the ending will change everything you will see in this chapter! But I'm through being dramatic, let's boogie!

Synopsis: A Black Rutile and her partner White Topaz want to get answers from Steven.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven, Onion

Estelle as Garnet

Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Ocean Jasper

Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, Black Rutile’s Pearls

Uzo Aduba as Bismuth

Jennifer Paz as Lapis Lazuli, Zuli, Mean Lapis

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Kimberly Brooks as Cherry Quartz, Jasper

Ian Jones-Quartey as Snowflake Obsidian

Michelle Maryk as Little Larimar

Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon

Aparna Nancherla as Nephrite

Grace Rolek as Connie

Crispin Freeman as Doug

Mary Elizabeth McGlynn as Priyanka

Tom Scharpling as Greg

Zach Steel as Ronaldo

Eugene Cordero as Jamie

Joel Hodgson as Mr. Dewey

Reagan Gomez Preston as Jenny, Kiki

Brian Posehn as Sour Cream

Lamar Abrams as Buck

Matthew Moy as Lars

Kate Micucci as Sadie

Alastair James as Rainbow Quartz 2.0

Shoniqua Shondai as Sunstone

Della Saba as Aquamarine

Charlyne Yi as Eyeball

Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald

Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate

Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite

Olivia Olson as Black Rutile's Citrines

Featuring Noël Wells as Black Rutile

And Lauren Ash as White Topaz

--

"Is the camera ready, Topaz?"

"It's ready, my Rutile!"

"You idiot, you forgot to turn on the lens!"

"Oh my goodness, I am so sorry, my Rutile, let me fix that!"

A camera was turned on inside a black-colored dropship, where a matching-colored Rutile in a green visor and white cape sat down in a captain's chair, confident and charming. "Hello, universe!" the Rutile greeted. "My name is Black Rutile, and welcome to Eye on Era 3, the special interview show where we discuss with Gems about the changes a certain Steven Universe brought to our proud culture!"

"And I'm White Topaz!" the Topaz operating Black Rutile's camera turned the lens to herself and cheerfully waved to the audience.

"Uh, Topaz, over here." Black Rutile ordered.

"Oh, sorry!" White Topaz muttered and turned the camera back to her superior.

"Anyways, we've traveled across the stars to chat it up with all sorts of Gems." The Rutile continued ecstatically. "From Pearls free from slavery, to proud Emerald pilots! Agates with no one to order around, Lapis Lazulis thinking they're lost in the world, and even a few fusions here and there! But today, we're gonna get answers straight from the mouth of this so-called "new Pink Diamond" himself!" she stated, making air-quotes while calling Steven the new Pink Diamond.

"My Rutile, we are closing in on Earth." A Citrine piloting Black Rutile's ship announced. "Is there any good spot you'd like to land?"

"Let's try that Little Homeworld place I've heard so much about." Black Rutile suggested. "We're bound to get tons of special guests there."

"Yes, your clarity." The Citrine complied, and she returned to her station.

"In case you were stuck in a Kindergarten for the past couple hundred years, Little Homeworld is where tons of Gems formerly corrupted by the Diamonds at the end of the Rebellion have made their home." Black Rutile narrated over footage of Little Homeschool. "The number one hotspot of this little bit of home is Little Homeschool, where Gems from all over come to learn how to mingle with the life on Earth and let go of the old ways."

"Hey, you think maybe we could go to that place, BR?" White Topaz grinned eagerly.

"Don't forget about our plans." Black Rutile said under her breath to her Topaz bodyguard. "I mean, we should be nearing Little Homeworld any minute now, so stay tuned!"

--

Gems began to gather when Black Rutile's ship made its landing in Little Homeworld, and the landing door opened to reveal its owner and her sidekick strolling out.

"Oh my, we already have quite a crowd here!" Black Rutile laughed into a microphone. "Now then, I'll pick a few lucky Gems from our audience here to answer some questions about their experiences on Earth." Looking around, Black Rutile managed to pick out Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis Lazuli from the huddling Gems. "Ah, you three, over there!"

"Us?" Lapis asked.

"Could you care to tell us how life has been on Earth for you?" Black Rutile asked, sticking her microphone out to the trio.

"I've actually been on Earth about as long as Lapis here." Bismuth answered, gesturing to Lapis. "I was one of the original Crystal Gems under Rose Quartz, chosen because I wanted to build whatever I wanted, with no uppercrusts to order me around! But my methods of dealing with the enemy was a bit more extreme than what she was used to, so Rose took one in particular a bit personally and had me poofed & bubbled. In hindsight, maybe Rose was worried that her cover would've been blown."

"As Bismuth said, I was on Earth for a very long time." Lapis began speaking into the mic. "I was supposed to be there for only a little bit to assist in terraforming, but then I got caught in the war and was poofed before being confused for a Crystal Gem. I was interrogated while my gem was stuck in a mirror, but that kind of got cut short when the Diamonds unleashed their final attack and forced everyone to flee. I was left behind by accident, and someone cracked my gem by stepping on it, and years later, I was found by Pearl, who kept me in her gem until Steven freed me."

"Aw, what a happy ending!" White Topaz cooed.

"Yeah, no." Lapis sardonically corrected White Topaz. "After I was freed from the mirror, I nearly drowned tons of people because I wanted to get home, but then home turned out to be a lot different from when I left it. I was once again made a prisoner by Peridot and Jasper, who then invaded Earth because I met the Crystal Gems that everyone thought were defeated in the Rebellion, then I fused with Jasper to protect Steven, which took a number on both of our mental states, I was freed yet again, then I left Earth because I was told the Diamonds might be coming, before coming back only to get poofed by Yellow Diamond."

"Much like Lapis, I was only supposed to be on Earth for a short while to perform my duties." Peridot began telling her story. "I was supposed to check up on the old Galaxy Warp, but then the Crystal Gems kept getting in my way no matter what. Before I knew it, I was without help, without any working technology, and then without my limb enhancers. I don't think I even bothered to ask where the Gems put them."

"A Lapis, a Bismuth and a Peridot. What an unlikely trio." Black Rutile mused. "Tell me, what was it that made you three decide to work alongside each other in the first place."

"Well, it all began when Steven and the Crystal Gems left Earth to convince White Diamond to help them cure corruption." Bismuth said. "I elected to stay behind on Earth to watch over these two."

"Ooh, ooh, can I do a reenactment?!" White Topaz asked, to which Black Rutile responded with a sigh.

"Proceed." Black Rutile muttered, tapping on her camera to produce a light shining on the surface of the dropship. White Topaz began to shapeshift her fingers into various characters, and started a shadow puppet show.

"Bye Bismuth, I'm gonna go to Homeworld and hope we can convince White Diamond to help us save the corrupted Gems." White Topaz said, imitating Steven. "You do you kid. I'm gonna watch over those other Gems while you're away." She continued, now impersonating Bismuth. "Have fun!"

Steven's shadow puppet was raised into the air as White Topaz made rocket sounds, followed by turning more of her fingers into Peridot and Lapis. Black Rutile just gave an annoyed glare to the camera.

"Hey, where's Steven?" White Topaz's impression of Lapis asked. "Oh, him? He ran off to Homeworld with the Diamonds." Her mimicry of Bismuth answered. "Oh my stars, are we too late?!" an aping of Peridot cried out.

"Do I really sound like that?" Peridot muttered as the shadow play went on.

"No little guy, he's fine!" White Topaz's impression of Bismuth continued. "Just something about corruption or whatever."

"Okay, I think we've seen enough!" Black Rutile laughed awkwardly as she interrupted the puppet show.

"Aw, but I was getting to the good part!" White Topaz moaned sadly.

"To be fair, you were almost spot on." Bismuth stated. "When Steven told us through some weird watermelon creature that looked just like him that trouble was indeed brewing on Homeworld, Peridot and Lapis reformed not too long after and we came together out of a desire to help him out."

"United by a common goal, how quaint." Black Rutile smiled and folded her hands behind her back, trying to hide their fidgeting. "Now then, would anyone else like to come up and chat?"

"I would, I would, I would!" Teal Zircon cried as she pushed her way through the crowd. "Hi, name's Teal Zircon, nice to meet you!" she greeted Black Rutile while rapidly shaking her hand. "So, you wanted to learn about my time here on Earth?"

"You're awfully excitable." Black Rutile pushed up her visor by the bridge with a grin. "More to the point, I'd like to hear your story Ms. Zircon."

"Gladly!" Teal Zircon exclaimed. "Like many of the Gems here, I was once corrupted by the Diamonds and became a long-tongued speedster that Peridot tried to capture no matter what, through hell or high water. Eventually, she did succeed, and I was stuck in the barn she and Lapis called home, until the Crystal Gems took me to their place. One day, I was healed by Steven along with a Cherry Quartz and shown around Little Homeschool. That same day, Steven took me along to see a Jasper who didn't want to go to school, and I was willing to become her friend, but I'm pretty sure she hates my guts."

"I'll have to check up on this Jasper sometime." Black Rutile commented. "Now then, anyone else care to share?"

"I'd like to." Zuli answered as she flew up and touched down next to Black Rutile. "I only came here a few weeks ago after Steven recommended the place to a former friend of mine and me. We were terraforming this moon called Aozul 2, but Steven and this other Lapis that we were buddies with back in our terraforming days told us that wasn't cool anymore, so they taught us new ways to express ourselves. I was a lot more accepting, but my ex-friend didn't want to change. To this day, I still don't know where she's at."

"May I go next?" Cherry Quartz asked Black Rutile.

"Sure, go ahead." Black Rutile answered, passing the mic to the Quartz.

"I was an average Quartz soldier made to fight in the war, but then I got corrupted, of course." Cherry began. "Then Steven came along and healed me along with TZ, and introduced us to Little Homeschool. I was a little nervous at first, but while Steven was away, I met up with some fellow Quartzes who told me all about how great it was here."

"I was the first corrupted Gem Steven helped defeat." Nephrite said, taking the mic from Cherry Quartz. "I was actually brought back out a few times, the first was a complete accident & I was poofed soon after, but the second time was when Steven thought he could try to heal me, but instead he reunited me with my old crew."

"Okay, we're running out of time here folks, I got other people to interview, and I haven't got all day!" Black Rutile yelled. "Which one wants to cap off this part?!"

"Little Larimar and I wanna talk." Snowflake Obsidian answered. "Hi, I'm Snowflake Obsidian. This is my buddy Little Larimar."

"We were corrupted Gems too." Larimar said. "I remember when Steven dropped us into that fountain, and we were all right as rain. Then years later, he helped us all find jobs that he thought were right for us, but then hilarity ensued."

"Wow, pretty much everyone here has such nice things to say about Steven." Black Rutile commented while putting on an eerie fake smile. "Isn't there anyone on this planet that doesn't love him?"

"Well, there is Jasper, kind of." Bismuth answered. "I say kind of because I have no idea what's even up with her ever since she was uncorrupted. I mean, she does express a teeny bit of gratitude for it, but she still would rather stay as far away from us as possible."

"To be frank, I wouldn't blame her." Lapis agreed. "Anyway, if you want to interview her, she's in a cave in the woods nearby."

"Good to know, Lapis." Black Rutile thanked Lapis. "I do hope we can see each other again sometime." She laughed as she and White Topaz began leaving Little Homeworld. "Perhaps even sooner than you think."

--

"We've all had our fun in Little Homeworld, but there's still a Gem we've yet to cover as we move on with our tour of Earth." Black Rutile continued narrating while walking in the woods. "This Gem, in particular, has been living in the woods ever since she was cured of an unfortunate case of corruption, and refuses to join her fellow Gems at Little Homeschool! Well, let's see if she can tell us why."

"Is that where she's living over there?" White Topaz asked as she pointed the camera to a cave with a tarp over the entrance.

"I think you might be right!" Black Rutile exclaimed as she raced over to the cave. "Excuse me, does Jasper live here?!"

"No she doesn't, now get out." Jasper's voice grumbled from within the cave.

"If Jasper isn't here, then who are you?" White Topaz asked, forcing Jasper to emerge from her cave.

"Someone who's going to pulverize you if you don't leave me alone." Jasper snarled.

"But we just wanted to ask about your time here on Earth!" Black Rutile nervously explained.

"Guess what, I'm not interested." Jasper added. "Now let me repeat myself, beat it, or I'm gonna beat you!"

"I think we should do as she says, my Rutile!" White Topaz began sweating nervously and slowly stepping away from Jasper.

"Righto." Black Rutile agreed before they ran away from Jasper. "But trust me, I think she might be useful to us."

--

"Well, that went horribly." White Topaz commented the farther she and Black Rutile got from Jasper. "Now where are we?"

"I'm not sure." Black Rutile answered while gazing at a terraced house. "But I do believe we have our next interviewee!"

"Which is?" White Topaz asked her superior.

"The residence of one Connie," Black Rutile declared, bringing up data on Connie on her visor, but then stopped at her last name. "Moo-hee-swear-ann. Seriously, how do you pronounce that?" The reporter decided to brush that off with a shrug and proceeded to knock on the door. "Good day Ms. Moo-hee-swear-ann, my name is Black Rutile, here to interview you about your experiences on Earth."

"It's Maheswaran, in case you're struggling to pronounce it." Connie's mother Priyanka corrected the Rutile. "Now, can I help you?"

"Oh, my apologies." Black Rutile said. "You look a lot taller than my data says."

"I believe you have me confused for my daughter, I'm her mother." Priyanka stated. "If you wish to speak with Connie, she's busy with college preparations, so you can only speak for 15 minutes."

"Uh, question!" White Topaz raised her hand. "What's college?"

--

"So you're doing all this for a TV show?" Connie asked Black Rutile moments later in the living room.

"You could say that." Black Rutile answered with a grin. "I'm working on an investigative report chronicling everyone's experiences with Era 3, and I'm working towards interviewing all the Crystal Gems and their allies, you included little girl. Now tell me, how did you first meet little Steven?"

"Well, it all started a few years ago." Connie began retelling her first meeting with Steven. "I was minding my own business, Steven was trying to get my attention because he wanted to be my friend, but one thing led to another, and we were stuck in a bubble together."

"Not how I'd expect your species to make new friends, but you do you." White Topaz commented with a grin.

"Anyways, it's all thanks to him that I was able to get out of my comfort zone a bit over the years." Connie continued. "I learned sword fighting from Pearl, became able to fend for myself, and we even fused!"

"Yeah, we still find that a little strange." Her father Doug interjected.

"Fusing with humans, just like they said." Black Rutile whispered to herself.

"Did you say something, miss?" Priyanka asked.

"Oh, nothing." Black Rutile covered up what she just said before moving back to Connie. "It seems like you two are just inseparable!"

"Well, mostly." Connie stated. "When Steven let himself get captured by Aquamarine to save everyone, we were all so worried sick for him. And even when he came back perfectly fine, I still felt like this all could've been avoided if we fought together."

"Oh, poor little girl." Black Rutile comforted Connie, though with a secret hint of condescendence in her voice. "It must be hard to lose someone so dear only for them to come back and disregard your feelings by acting like everything's fine."

"It's okay." Connie said. "We did get back together eventually, and now our bond is stronger than ever!"

"Woo, love wins!" White Topaz cheered, inciting yet another angry glare from her boss. "Um, can I do the shadow puppets again?"

"Go ahead." Black Rutile frowned in embarrassment.

"Wait, your documentary has shadow plays?" Priyanka wondered aloud.

"Don't ask me; this was all her idea!" Black Rutile replied grumpily. "What a childish clod."

"Hey Connie, I'm back from Homeworld! Hope no one missed me." White Topaz began another puppet show, this time of Steven and Connie's brief falling out, while trying her best to mimic Steven. "We did kinda miss you, you could've died!" she continued while imitating Connie's voice. "I don't see what the problem is, I'm standing right here!" the Steven puppet replied carelessly. "Well, we could've stopped Aquamarine together, but you gotta make everything about you!" the Connie puppet declared. "So screw you Steven, I'm going home!"

"Wait, I didn't say anything like that!" the real Connie said nervously.

"Sorry kid, I'm just making this up as I go." White Topaz apologized, and just as she was about to continue her show, Black Rutile cut it short. "Aw man!"

"Well, I think we've just about wrapped up here, friends!" Black Rutile announced. "We've got places to be, people to meet, and more opportunities for me to be humiliated by you, Topaz."

"Well, it was nice to see you." Doug said goodbye as the two Gems left the Maheswarans' house. "Hope your documentary is a big hit!"

"Thank you; you're too kind!" Black Rutile waved back and closed the door, allowing some privacy as she scolded White Topaz. "Was it really necessary for you to go all "love wins" on us, you softhearted fool?" she scowled as they began walking away from the house.

"I'm sorry, I just think they're so adorable together!" White Topaz tried to justify her actions, before Black Rutile pulled her down by her collar.

"We have no time for sappy romances!" the Rutile yelled in her bodyguard's face. "We are here to gather information, and that's final! Are we clear?!"

"Yes, your clarity." White Topaz bowed her head in shame.

"Good, now where were we?" Black Rutile tapped on the side of her visor and pulled up a map of the surrounding area. "Ah, yes! Beach City!" she declared while the map began pointing to the little seaside town.

"Ooh, that place sounds fun." White Topaz commented. "Think maybe we could take a vacation there some time, just you and me?"

"Apologies, but we're on a mission." Black Rutile declared as she put the map away. "We'll have time for fun later, but it'll be my choice of fun. Understand?"

"Yes, boss!" White Topaz gave a comical salute, and the two began setting off for Beach City.

--

"Now then, this place should be full of Steven stories!" Black Rutile announced as the duo strolled into town. "And maybe we could find some of his weaknesses too."

"Hey, check out this funny sign!" White Topaz said while gazing at the sign for It's A Wash. "What do you think is a wash?"

"Hey new Gems, welcome." They heard Greg greet them. "If you came here to sign up for Little Homeschool, you should take it up with the Gems first."

"Oh no sir, we already saw that school." Black Rutile said. "It's all part of a series of interviews I'm doing for my show, Eye on Era 3. Which reminds me, how would you describe your experiences with the Crystal Gems?"

"My experiences?" Greg wondered. "Well, it all started one night when I was just a young rocker on tour. I had arrived in Beach City for a show, and Rose Quartz was the only one who showed up."

"Ah yes, Pink Diamond always had a fascination with humans," Black Rutile interjected. "often at the expense of her own kind."

"Yeah yeah, Pink kinda stunk, but don't we all sometimes?" Greg philosophized. "Like I was saying, Rose was the only one who came to my concert at Beach City, and from then onward, I felt like it was destiny. I even wrote a song about it!" He then walked to his van to search for his guitar, and began to play. "Do you believe in destiny? Close your eyes and leave the rest to-"

"I'm sorry, we have no time for a song." Greg's interviewer cut him off. "Could you please continue, sir?"

"Sorry if I was any trouble." Greg apologized, putting away his guitar. "The Gems didn't have a very high opinion of me when we first met, especially Pearl, but we were still able to get along with each other. Amethyst in particular took a liking to me."

"Speaking of which, are the Gems in town today, or are they off on some magical mission or something?" Black Rutile asked Greg.

"Oh, they kinda retired from going on missions now that everything's at peace." Greg answered. "But, Steven's still at home over there." He then pointed over to the Crystal Temple not too far away from Beach City itself.

"Yes, pay-dirt!" Black Rutile grinned eagerly. "Come along Topaz, we shall hit ratings dynamite!"

"Coming!" White Topaz cried as she raced after her master. "Hey, maybe we can chat with some of the people here along the way! They might give us some good info!"

--

"It was kinda thanks to Steven that I died and came back to life." Lars admitted to Black Rutile. "But also thanks to him, I came back as a completely new man with my own awesome spaceship, a serious attitude adjustment, and ever since I came back to Earth, I've taken up some combat training in case I ever go back to space and fight new threats, like I learned musti-yuddha from Connie's dad for example!"

--

"Lars's disappearance got me kind of depressed for a while." Sadie said while her band prepared for practice. "But I found a new way of expressing it with horror-themed rock music!"

"We had trouble finding our sound before Sadie became our frontman." Buck Dewey stated.

"And since then, we became an overnight hit!" Jenny Pizza exclaimed.

"But I have a feeling our differing paths might cause a break-up." Sour Cream admitted.

--

"Steven had good intentions when he helped me run for re-election," ex-Mayor Dewey said. "but ultimately I lost. But hey, I did find a new calling at the Big Donut!"

--

"I was having stress dreams about my sister making me do her work, which took the form of a giant pizza monster, until Steven used his crazy dream powers to help me out." Kiki Pizza said.

--

"I'll admit, I had a crush on Garnet once upon a time." Jamie declared. "But really, can you blame me?! She was just so stoic and radiant and-"

"Get to the point!" Black Rutile sternly ordered.

"I'm sorry, got a little distracted." Jamie apologized. "But I had since moved onto better things, like my future career in the theater!"

--

"Okay, that should be all." Black Rutile sighed in exhaustion. "Now then, let's not waste any more ti-"

"Wait, I want to talk to you!" Ronaldo cried out as he raced to the Gems with a notebook in hand.

"What do you want?" the reporter grumbled. "We're wasting daylight here!"

"You've been going around asking people questions about Gems, but this time I want to ask you for a change." Ronaldo declared.

"Okay then, fire away little guy." White Topaz said with a smile.

"There are still tons of unanswered questions about your kind that I must inquire about!" Ronaldo said while flipping through his notebook. "Like, for example, do you know who created the Gems in the first place? How was Homeworld first colonized? When did they start colonizing other planets?"

"I don't believe we have time for your questions." Black Rutile snidely shut Ronaldo's questions down before making her way to the Crystal Temple. "Come Topaz, we have work to do."

"Yes, my Rutile!" White Topaz obeyed and followed behind, leaving Ronaldo in the dust.

"You can run, but I will get my answers!" Ronaldo declared loudly, but he was too late. "And they're gone."

--

"Okay, Topaz, we have to make a good first impression here, so no silly games or shadow puppet shows." Black Rutile commanded as they ascended the beach house's front steps and reached the front door.

"Aw man." White Topaz moaned in disappointment.

"Quit being such a child you moron." Black Rutile exhaled in disgust as she knocked on the door. "Hello, is anyone home?"

"Just a minute!" a voice the two Gems were eager to hear answered as its owner raced downstairs.

"Oh my stars, the moment has come; he's finally here!" White Topaz squealed happily before she received a slap to the face.

"Hello, what brings you here?" Steven greeted Black Rutile.

"Steven Universe, at long last!" BR exclaimed. "I'm Black Rutile, host of Eye on Era 3, and this is my camera-Gem/bodyguard White Topaz! We're here for an investigative report on the state of Earth in this new era, and have been interviewing many of your family and friends."

"You're a bit shorter than I expected." White Topaz commented.

"I see my reputation precedes me." Steven declared. "Come on in."

"Nice place you got here." White Topaz complimented the house as she and her boss were shown inside.

"Thanks, the Gems helped build this place." Steven accepted the compliment. "Hey, I got a question. I've met a Topaz and a Rutile before, but they sound nothing like you. Why is that?"

"We're just special Gems. Comes with being former members of White Diamond's court." Black Rutile answered while sitting down on the couch. "But enough about us, let's talk you! Could you give us a little life story first?"

"If you want." Steven answered while sitting across from the Rutile. "I remember first discovering my powers like it was yesterday. I was super bummed that my favorite brand of ice cream was discontinued, but then the Gems told me they got tons of it from other stores, and taking a bite out of one coincided with me summoning my shield for the first time, which led me to believe I could do so by eating Cookie Cat."

"Hahaha, oh the innocence of youth!" Black Rutile chuckled nostalgically. "I remember when I first emerged for White Diamond. A real young hotshot, a little arrogant even. Could you tell us more about these powers, kid?"

"Over time, I learned tons of Gem powers." Steven regaled. "Like shapeshifting, control over plant life, making bubbles, telepathy, sticking my mind in others' bodies, but fusion gave me tons of new abilities. This reminds me of a story."

"Ooh, shadow time!" White Topaz exclaimed, but her happiness was immediately put to rest.

"What did I tell you?! No shadows!" Black Rutile yelled strictly at her sidekick, and then immediately changed her mood. "Please continue."

"All right." Steven was a little taken aback by Black Rutile's cold behavior towards White Topaz before he began his story. "Anyways, it all started when I had to take care of Onion for the day, and Pearl helped out."

--

"Thank you Explorer Gal for saving us from that dastardly Bandit Guy!" Rainbow Quartz 2.0 said, taking the role of one of Onion's toys. Onion was playing with Explorer Gal, who thanked the other toy in Onion's unintelligible matter.

"For your heroic efforts, please accept money." Rainbow continued while handing Onion a dollar bill. "Our city was a mess before you came along, but now…." Rainbow then began to break character as they took notice of Onion's messy room. "Well, I suppose it's still a mess." They commented. "It's been so much fun playing, but now we have to clean, which is also fun!" they declared while making a rainbow with their hands. "Are you ready to tidy up?"

Onion stared blankly while slowly sticking a piece of broccoli out of his mouth.

"Oh Onion, don't you be that way." Rainbow 2.0 chuckled. "Your best friend Rainbow will help you tidy up!" Just then, they pulled a parasol out of Pearl's gem. "Let's make things a little more animated in here!"

With that, Rainbow made Onion's toys come to life, and they began marching to their proper places in his room while Rainbow started a song. "Stick by stick, the little blackbird makes a nest." They began singing while making Onion's clothes fly into his dresser. "A mess to some, but the little blackbird isn't stressed."

Rainbow then allowed Onion to give the umbrella a try, making one of the boy's toy cars come to life and race away. "Stick by stick, the little blackbird makes a nest." The fusion continued while Onion marveled at the parasol's powers. "And then he naps, cause even blackbirds need to rest. The fun won't stop if you have a friend around. The fun won't stop if you have a friend around."

As Rainbow began to finish the song, Onion kept playing with the umbrella, making more of his toys come alive, along with a Venus flytrap. "And when you laugh, it is my favorite sound." Onion then discovered some darts in his drawer, and used the parasol to make them fly. "And that's what life is all about."

"What the?!" Rainbow stuttered before dodging the darts, making them land on a dartboard. With that, they finally decided to take their weapon back from Onion while noticing a stack of dirty dishes. "Next time, please wash your dishes." They instructed before sending the dishes off to be cleaned, and then taking notice of a stuffed toy in Steven's image hidden near Onion's bed, eerily waving to them. "And could you please explain what this is?"

Onion didn't answer, aside from blowing Rainbow a few kisses.

"Alright, thank you for the kisses." Rainbow thanked Onion before Steven's phone began to ring. "Just give me five or so minutes."

Rainbow un-fused into Steven and Pearl, and Steven answered his phone. Garnet was on the other end, holding her cellphone extremely close to her face. "Steven, you're late." Garnet said. "I need you for the Sunstone Safety Geminar."

"Oh no, that was today?!" Steven began panicking. "But Rainbow Quartz promised to hang out with Onion today!"

"Don't worry; I'll handle the Geminar." Garnet stated confidently. "I'll explain every possible future where they could get hurt around the house."

"I don't know if that'll be a good idea, I'll be right there." Steven responded before hanging up and turning to Pearl. "Pearl, I'll be back as soon as I can." He promised. "Could you watch over Onion for me while I'm away?"

"Of course." Pearl agreed. "Onion loves Rainbow, I'm sure he'll love me as much."

--

"In hindsight, that wasn't my best idea." Steven took a break from his tale to confess. "Onion can be a real handful."

"Like, how much of a handful?" White Topaz asked.

"Let's just say, he's a real oddball who loves causing trouble." Steven stated. "I can never really get a read on that guy, no matter how much of a good friend he is. Heck, he doesn't even seem to age normally!"

"So, about this Geminar." Black Rutile began. "You said Rainbow Quartz is a fusion between you and Pearl, but who is this Sunstone running that event?"

"Oh, Sunstone is the fusion of Garnet and I." Steven answered. "They're all hip and radical and like giving important life lessons, kind of like those old PSA characters from the 90s. Speaking of which…"

--

"I slip on the stairs?" Ocean Jasper wondered while watching a television screen with Garnet, the Heaven & Earth Beetles, and a Nephrite.

"Indeed, and you shatter on impact too." Garnet bluntly replied, causing Ocean and the Nephrite to scream and hug each other in fright.

"Garnet, I'm here!" Steven called as he entered the house.

"Thanks for coming, Steven, but I need help." Garnet stated. "I think I'm scaring our guests."

"It's okay; we got this." Steven assured. "Let's get this safety Geminar started with a very special guest!"

Garnet got up from the couch, and the two began to dance, eventually forming the totally cool fusion Sunstone.

"Your rockin' pal Sunstone's here to shine!" Sunstone announced merrily.

"Watch out Sunstone, it's dangerous here!" Ocean Jasper cautioned Sunstone.

"Not unless you guys practice home safety." Sunstone assured the scared Gems. "Don't slip up. Clear objects off the stairs." They instructed by taking a water bottle off the steps to Steven's bedroom and throwing it like a ball. "Foul shot!"

The bottle landed in a trash can near Lion, which prompted another tip. "Be sure to cover up your trash, or else you'll attract bugs or hungry animals." Sunstone demonstrated as they shooed Lion away from the garbage. "Come on, let's go!" they declared. "Don't waste water. Turn off any faucet still running." Sunstone then shut off the sink. "Put protective covers over your electrical outlets, especially when kids are around." They added while doing just that. "And don't even think about sticking a fork in there! But most importantly, turn off motion smoothing on the TV."

Sunstone then used the remote to operate the television, allowing clearer picture and sound for everyone. "Okay, hold tight gang, gotta take a phone call." They said. "In the meantime, check out this commercial."

--

"Well, seems like you had things handled." White Topaz remarked.

"Famous last words White Topaz." Steven gravely informed. "Pearl later called me on my phone because Onion was giving her a serious headache, so I came back to her to calm Onion down. Then Garnet was trying to do a home safety obstacle course, but that went horribly wrong."

"Okay, color me wrong." The Topaz guard said. "I suppose hilarity must've ensued?"

"Oh so much." Steven declared. "I tried merging both the Geminar with playing with Onion, but one thing led to another."

--

"It's important to keep in mind that all of these horrible things did happen to you in alternate timelines." Garnet instructed her seminar attendees near the lighthouse. "Safety rules."

"Hey, Garnet." An exhausted Rainbow 2.0 called for their fellow fusion as they flew in via umbrella, with Onion in front. "Would you mind taking on another student?" they asked as Onion was let off the umbrella. "I'm feeling a mite PLPBBT."

With one last raspberry noise, Rainbow un-fused into Steven and Pearl. Steven just groaned tiredly.

"You shouldn't have brought him here Steven." Garnet forebodingly scolded the boy as Onion took a seat in front of her with the Gems.

"No, no, it's fine. It's good." Steven stuttered, having had enough of the stressful day he had. "No one needs safety training more than Onion! I'm combining all of my responsibilities into one responsibility! It's brilliant, it's brilliant! It's fine. I'm fine. Really, it's fine. I'm fine. I'm fine."

Onion wasn't paying attention the whole time, and instead picked up a blade of grass to play like a musical instrument, hypnotically commanding the other Gems to follow him. And Steven was too busy assuring Garnet and Pearl that he was fine to notice too late what had just happened.

A madcap chase soon ensued, with the three Crystal Gems following Onion and the Little Homeschoolers throughout Beach City, into the woods, and finally to a hill, where Onion let go of the leaf. Despite that, Ocean Jasper, the Beetles, and the Nephrite continued marching to the point of falling over the edge.

"Oh no!" Pearl cried as the Gems fell off the hill.

"Steven, we need Sunstone to save them!" Garnet urged Steven.

"Okay!" Steven yelped, and they fused into Sunstone.

"No, we need Rainbow to save them!" Pearl began arguing with her de-facto superior as she swiped Steven away to form Rainbow Quartz.

"I'll catch them with this!" Rainbow declared as they presented their umbrella.

"Can't all three of us fuse to save them?" Garnet wondered just as Amethyst raced up to them.

"Hey wait!" Amethyst cried. "I need Steven!"

Rainbow un-fused so Steven could speak. "What is it Amethyst?!"

"I miss you, man!" Amethyst yelled. "I haven't seen you in like, eleven minutes! But it felt like even longer!"

Steven couldn't take it anymore, and without a single word, he collapsed to the ground in exhaustion.

"STEVEN!" Pearl screamed as she raced to Steven's side.

"I shouldn't have overbooked my schedule." Steven groaned one last time before passing out from exhaustion.

"Nooooooooo." Garnet unemotionally cried out in despair.

--

"Oh-hohohohoho, I know what it's like!" Black Rutile cackled as Steven finished his story. "Must be so hard to be so overworked at such a young age."

"Guess that's what happens when you're running a whole school." Steven chuckled in reply. "So, guess that should be it, right?"

"No, I'd like to speak with Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl first before we wrap up for today." Black Rutile answered, just as the Warp pad began glowing. "Oh, and look who should show up now!"

The core Crystal Gems stood at the Warp Pad, ready to kick back after the long day they had today. "Good thing it was so easy to get that crowd under control." Pearl exhaled. "Still, who was that interviewer they were talking about?"

"I believe that would be me." Black Rutile answered as she stood up from the couch to meet the Gems. "Hi, Black Rutile, intelligence officer of White Diamond turned news reporter. Pleased to meet you."

"I wasn't aware White had a court." Garnet said as the Rutile shook each of their hands. "Pleased to meet you too."

"I just got done interviewing Steven, and he told me the most hilarious story about his troubles with balancing two things at once." Black Rutile said.

"Yeah, things went kinda crazy that day." Amethyst reminisced. "But thankfully, everything went back to normal after that."

"Oh good, the way Steven ended things left me on the edge of my seat!" White Topaz exclaimed while positioning the camera to face the Gems. "One more question before we go, what would you say are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?"

"A little oddly specific, but okay." Pearl remarked. "I pride myself on orderliness, swordsmanship, and intelligence. But I can be a bit doting and perfectionist at times."

"I can be kinda foolish and impulsive, but I'm pretty much past that." Amethyst added. "I'm also more street smart than book smart, and super tough too!"

"I'm a very stable fusion, which especially helps in battle." Garnet said. "My future vision is also seldom wrong, unless the current timeline becomes too unpredictable."

"Well, that should be enough for now." Black Rutile said as she entered all of her data into her visor. "Apologies if we couldn't talk anymore, but I've got places to be and missions to go on, so toodles!"

"Hope we can see each other again, Black Rutile!" Steven said goodbye as the two visiting Gems took the Warp Pad back to Little Homeworld.

"Maybe sooner than you think." Black Rutile smirked before they disappeared.

"She's right, we'll be seeing her again many times." Garnet predicted with an adjustment of her glasses. "But none of them will be friendly."

Steven, Amethyst, and Pearl just laughed at Garnet's prediction, ignorant at what could be to come.

--

Upon returning to Little Homeworld and boarding their ship, Black Rutile and White Topaz finally left Earth and launched into hyperspace.

"Wow, those Crystal Gems really are swell!" White Topaz commented while her superior sat down in her chair. "I don't see why we're plotting against them."

"It's because they've become far too powerful." Black Rutile answered gravely, a far cry from the persona she put up on Earth. "Does Steven really think he can change our entire society with just hugging, crying, singing, and a cheeky one-liner? Bah, I've done so much better without any of those!"

"My Rutile, we should be exiting hyperspace above Revanche 666 in approximately 15 seconds." One of the Rutile's Citrines confirmed. "Would you like to inform your allies of your coming?"

"Bring Emerald up." Black Rutile commanded, cuing a video screen to appear, showing the tall, green Gem pilot on the other side. "Hello there, Emerald."

"Your clarity, has your reconnaissance ended well?" Emerald asked with a bow.

"Indeed it has." Black Rutile answered with a grin. "Those clods never suspected a thing!"

"And we got it all on video too!" White Topaz added.

"Excellent, we'll soon have everything we need." Emerald declared. "We're all waiting for you at the base, hoping you won't disappoint."

"Oh, don't worry, Emerald, I won't." Black Rutile replied. "That will be all." With a clap, the screen disappeared, and the ship exited hyperspace to reveal the skull-like planet of Revanche 666 before them. "Prepare for landing."

--

When the dropship finally landed at Black Rutile's headquarters, two rows of Pearls patiently awaited their master's return.

"Ah, my Pearls." Black Rutile announced as she disembarked. "When I ordered Shell to create all of you, I knew it wouldn't disappoint."

"Thank you, my Rutile." The Pearls thanked in unison while one of them took the camera from White Topaz. "Your minions await."

"Perfect." Black Rutile purred before beginning her stroll to her meeting room. "Come Topaz, we have much to do."

--

"Geez, what's taking her so long?" Lapis Lazuli 1J9G-5KL complained as she, Holly Blue Agate, Morganite, Emerald, Aquamarine, and Eyeball kept on waiting for their boss while seated around a round, white table.

"Patience Lapis." Aquamarine soothed her fellow Gem's annoyance. "She did say that she'd be arriving soon."

"The sooner, the better!" Eyeball yelled, pounding her fist on the table. "I want revenge on Steven for making me a pariah, and I want it now!"

"You're awfully eager." Emerald muttered to her fellow eye Gem before turning to Holly Blue and Morganite. "So, how goes that Zircon's democratic campaign?"

"That navel gem Ruby we planted as her campaign manager has been feeding her lies, and the Zircon doesn't suspect a thing!" Holly Blue answered excitedly.

"More and more Gems have been unknowingly swayed to our cause." Morganite stated. "Soon, we shall have an army strong enough to topple even the Diamonds."

Just then, Black Rutile and White Topaz finally arrived in the meeting room, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and salute her. "Welcome, your clarity."

"You're all too kind." Black Rutile thanked them sarcastically as she took a seat between Aquamarine and White Topaz. "I suspect your missions have been going well too, no?"

"Indeed it has my Rutile." Holly Blue revealed.

"That brat has been controlling us all for too long." Aquamarine declared. "Now it's time we take back our planet from those tyrannical pacifists."

"Are you all sure this is a good idea?" White Topaz asked the other Era 3 insurgents. "I mean, the Crystal Gems have become far too powerful to be challenged, and the Diamonds will no doubt come for our gems if they find out!"

"The Diamonds are yesterday's news!" Black Rutile roared, forcing her Topaz into silence. "And speaking of which, Steven may not realize this, but he's no better than his brat of a mother! Thinking he can force all of Homeworld to obey him by being a controlling twerp! Thankfully, he doesn't do so by throwing tantrums left and right until the Diamonds do what he says to shut him up. For now at least."

A Black Pearl entered the meeting room with White Topaz's camera in her hands, and she set it down on the table.

"Thank you my Pearl." Black Rutile thanked the Pearl before turning it on to reveal all the information that she collected on Earth.

"Is this all we need to know about the Gems in time for Phase 2?" Morganite asked her black-colored superior.

"You bet it is." Black Rutile declared with a sociopathic grin as she gazed at one of the holograms of Steven and plucked it out to hold in her hands. "You can have your happily ever after as much as you like, Steven." She declared evilly. "Cause your little Universe will soon be mine."

END OF PART 1: LITTLE HOMESCHOOL

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2: GRADUATION

--

At last, Part 1 is finally complete! And here, unfortunately, is where I must go on hiatus. Second semester of college and all that, and I think my classes might be harder than last semester. But hopefully, this cliffhanger should tide you over until we come back. Anyways, Black Rutile is finally upon us! A character that I think I'll have fun writing since I consider her to be like the Lex Luthor to Steven's Superman, the Frieza to his Goku, the Megatron to his Optimus Prime, the Aku to his Samurai Jack, etc etc. In other words, Steven's got a new archenemy coming and he doesn't even know it yet. Stay tuned! (evil laughter)

[ironfidus]

Every Fifteen Minutes (1)

Summary: 

“In honor of Peter Benjamin Parker,” the obituary reads. “2001 - 2017. Peter B. Parker, 16, died on the 5th of February, 2017, as a result of injuries sustained in a car crash involving a drunk driver…”

Tony can't finish reading. He swears his heart stops. “FRIDAY,” he croaks.

He doesn’t have to finish the order; FRIDAY, as if reading his mind, activates his Iron Man suit and sends it to envelop his body. Tony is shooting through the skies before he even fully realizes it.

OR: Peter Parker was in a car crash—except... he wasn’t. One forgetful Spider-Kid, one sleepy best friend, and one misleading post on social media all lead to a disastrous turn of events, culminating in the arrival of an unexpected guest at Midtown High.

Read here on AO3 (@a_matter_of_loyalty)

:::

Chapter 1: count the ways I let you down

Every fifteen minutes, someone dies from an alcohol-related collision.

:::

“The worst day of loving someone is the day that you lose them.”

—L.J. Smith

:::

“All right, class,” Roger Harrington calls out over the sound of murmuring students. He is standing impatiently at the front of the classroom, leaning back against his desk as he flips through a pile of pamphlets in his hands. “Settle down.”

The students either don’t hear him or are simply content with ignoring him, continuing to chatter amongst themselves.

Did Ms. Warren assign us any homework for tomorrow?

Oh my god, did you hear about Lucas and Brooke? Apparently they broke up—

Can you believe what she’s wearing—

“I said settle down!” Mr. Harrington barks, restraint snapping in half. His students descend into a hush immediately, scrambling to attention with more than a little annoyance. Truthfully, despite his show of impatience, Mr. Harrington can’t find it in himself to blame them: it is their last class of the day, their “advisory period” as it’s named on their schedule, and it is typically the one period in the week where they can simply sit back and relax with their friends. He himself is dismayed by the disruption to their regularly scheduled programming (read: their “chill time” as Jason calls it)—he’s tired of dealing with students 24/7, damnit, and he needs a break, so sue him—but Principal Morita personally approached him with instructions earlier in the day, and he can’t exactly disobey.

So like any good teacher, Mr. Harrington shoves down his exhaustion and schools his face into a mild smile. “A few weeks from now, we will be participating in an educational program known as Every Fifteen Minutes,” he announces. “It is designed to teach students the severe, life-changing consequences of drinking and driving.”

The students burst out into hushed whispers. No doubt they all remember this program from the previous year, though it will be their first time participating. Mr. Harrington sends them all a pointed look, and they dutifully quiet once more.

“Now, for today,” he continues once he has their undivided attention, “all of you will be using this period to choose one person in your class who you admire. I will be passing out blank sheets of paper shortly. As soon as you receive one, please write down the name of your chosen classmate, and a short paragraph detailing your reason for picking them.”

Betty Brant’s hand immediately shoots up. Mr. Harrington stifles a sigh, giving her a halfhearted nod that signals go on, and she promptly asks, “What does this exercise have to do with the program?”

Mr. Harrington’s smile grows strained. “You’ll find out why we’re doing this later on in the program,” he replies vaguely. Before anyone else can come up with any questions, Mr. Harrington says stiffly, “Let’s get started.”

He sets the pamphlets back down onto his desk—they’ll come in handy later—and picks up another pile of paper; this time, the blank sheets he promised earlier. He hands the pile to the student at the front of the class, and immediately retreats to his seat as his students begin passing out paper to each other.

His part done, Mr. Harrington happily returns to grading last week’s tests, blissfully tuning out his restless students as they go about their task.

Once everyone has a blank sheet of paper in front of them, the voices recede to a trickle once more as they all rack their brains for a name. Some students steal considering glances around the room, appraising their classmates in their minds.

Peter Parker, Midtown High’s awkward disaster by day and Queens’ beloved Spider-Man by night, doesn’t need to give it any thought. He plucks a pen from out of his pencil case and immediately begins writing about his best friend. 

Ned’s been my best friend since I was seven years old. I’d just transferred to Midtown after losing my parents, and as soon as I met him, he took me by the hand and invited me to play on the monkey bars with him. I wasn’t very good at it, but he kept inviting me anyway. It was the first time I smiled since my parents’ funeral. Since then, Ned has given me a thousand more reasons to smile. That is why I admire him: no matter what, Ned never loses hope or happiness. He always looks on the bright side, and…

Beside him, Ned is putting pen to paper just as easily, his choice coming naturally to him as well. He wishes he could write about Spider-Man—write about how his best friend is a real-life hero, how his best friend unhesitatingly puts his life at risk every night to fight crime, how his best friend swung into his room last night with a bleeding wound but also a blinding smile because there was this woman, Ned, and she needed my help, I couldn’t just do nothing!

But he knows Peter keeps his identity a secret for a reason, so Ned locks that desire away firmly. It’s not as if he can’t think of tons to write about, anyway, even with Spider-Man out of the question. After all, even before he discovered his best friend’s alter ego, he’s always known Peter is special. Because even before Spider-Man, Peter was already the strongest, most resilient, most selfless person Ned knew.

(Peter Parker was a hero long before Spider-Man was born.)

Peter’s had a difficult life. Time after time, life kicks him down and refuses to let him up. He lost his parents at such a young age, and then his uncle a few years later. But no matter what life throws at him, Peter always, always gets up. He never stops trying; he never stops fighting. I admire him because of his unyielding tenacity and his refusal to give in to life’s cruelties. Despite the hardships he’s faced, Peter is still the kindest, happiest person I know. He’s always willing to lend others a hand in whatever way he can…

:::

“Time’s up!” Mr. Harrington announces seconds before the bell rings. The students let out a quiet cheer as they drop their pens and gather their bags, and Mr. Harrington allows himself a small smile of his own. Still, he doesn’t let them run off quite yet. “I hope you’ve all finished writing your paragraphs,” he warns before they can rush out.

Their mumbled agreements make him roll his eyes. “All right, all right, I won’t keep you any longer,” he relents. “On your way out, please pick up one of these Every Fifteen Minutes pamphlets”—he taps the pile of pamphlets with his pen—“and make sure to read those over sometime during the next couple of weeks. That’ll be all, class.”

:::

The students had it easy, Mr. Harrington muses to himself as he shuffles through the papers with their choices. He, along with the other teachers, are required to stay after school hours and assess each student’s note to determine which of the kids should be selected to participate in the program as a “casualty.” 

Principal Morita advised them to choose a popular, well-liked kid to ensure that the effects of Every Fifteen Minutes are profound and widely-felt. If it’s a popular kid you want, Mr. Harrington thinks, the choice is obvious.

As if to confirm his thoughts, his eyes fall onto the note at the top of the pile and zero in on the name Flash Thompson. 

Eugene “Flash” Thompson, arguably one of the most popular students in his class due to his parents’ wealth and his own sophisticated attitude, has created a “following” for himself within the halls of Midtown High. His cronies tend to stick to Flash like glue, following their ringleader around like thoughtless ducks. But as popular as Flash is, Mr. Harrington feels reluctant to pick him. He doubts Flash fits the criteria of “well-liked” amongst the majority of his peers, despite his popularity. Flash is a bully of the “high school jackass” variety, and his snobbish attitude repels just as many people as it attracts, if not more.

Mr. Harrington shakes his head and tucks the note with Flash’s name under all of the other papers. He resigns himself to a long afternoon of sorting through the notes, keeping an eye out for any recurring not-Flash names. The faster he finishes, the sooner he’ll be able to go home.

Betty, Cindy, Charles, Flash again, Abe, Seymour, another Flash, Ned… Mr. Harrington perks up slightly. The note dedicated to Ned Leeds is noticeably longer than all the rest before it, and Mr. Harrington recognizes the handwriting as belonging to Peter Parker immediately.

Teachers aren’t supposed to have a favorite. That is the unspoken rule. But there is also an unspoken footnote to that unspoken rule that goes like this: Teachers might not be supposed to have a favorite, but they do anyway. As long as the students don’t know, well, it can’t hurt anyone.

Peter Parker is without a doubt Mr. Harrington’s star student. Friendly and polite to everyone, Peter is a beacon of light in his class, one that everyone—even those who resent him, like Flash—can recognize. Even without Peter’s conscious effort, his generosity and thoughtfulness draw his classmates to him like moths to a flame. 

Besides his obvious goodness, Peter is also achingly smart. Ridiculously so. He is intelligent and creative and brilliant—but he never brags about it. 

And sure, Peter has changed over the last few months, turning up to class later and later and sometimes even falling asleep in the middle of his lectures, but his grades never slack. Mr. Harrington can’t deny he’s worried about the boy. He’s heard all the rumors about Peter: he’s heard the other teachers discussing Peter’s sudden decision to resign from nearly all of his extracurriculars; he’s heard Coach Wilson muttering something about bruises and scars; he’s heard students in the hallway giggling over Flash’s proclamations that Peter is a liar pretending to intern for Stark Industries.

For the most part, Mr. Harrington lets the rumors flow in one ear and out the other. He doesn’t like judging his students or making assumptions, after all. But even he can’t ignore some of the signs. He sent Peter to the guidance counselor a few weeks ago after Peter fell asleep during Academic Decathlon and woke up screaming after everyone else went home, but the rest is out of Harrington’s hands. He isn’t allowed to pry, he knows that.

That doesn’t stop him from fretting, though.

He sighs and redirects his gaze to Peter’s note. Out of curiosity—wondering what kind of traits someone as pure as Peter Parker would admire—Mr. Harrington pushes his reading glasses further up the bridge of his nose and reads the whole note.

…he never fails to make me laugh or smile. Ned is one of the best and brightest things in my life. I’m lucky to have him as my best friend. 

Mr. Harrington exhales softly, the breath rushing out with an awed sort of wonder. Peter’s note about Ned is heartfelt and sentimental, nothing like the snatches of she's cute and she always wears the most fashionable outfits or I think he's really smart he caught glimpses of from the other notes.

Setting aside Peter’s note about Ned for now, Mr. Harrington flicks through the rest of the notes until he finds Ned’s note—unsurprisingly for Peter. He pulls it out of the stack, smoothing it out on top of the other notes.

…and even though he’s had it hard, Peter never takes it out on anyone else. He embodies compassion with everything he does. I know I am grateful for him, always. 

Mr. Harrington will later swear, on his life, that he wasn’t affected by the notes. But here in the relative privacy of the empty classroom, as he bears witness to Peter and Ned’s mutual devotion to one another, his eyes begrudgingly start to burn.

These kids, he suppresses a groan, blinking rapidly. He is an adult, for god’s sake. He doesn’t get mushy over touching words anymore. They’re going to be the death of me.

It is undeniable, though, that the loss of either boy will leave a crippling impact on the other and the rest of the class. Even if no one else chose Ned or Peter, Mr. Harrington isn’t blind; he’s seen the two boys’ influence on their classmates. Sure, they can both be shy and quiet at times, reserved, but the two have become irrevocably entangled in the lives of their peers. Peter, for example, never fails to provide a spot of cheer during his classes with Mr. Harrington; more often than not, Peter would spend half the class maneuvering around the tables at his classmates’ behest, occasionally bending down to talk one of his peers through a difficult problem. Ned, too, is a bright presence in the classroom, never failing to coax his classmates into raucous laughter after one of his jokes.

One of the two will probably be the best bet for the program, Mr. Harrington decides. But which one? Peter or Ned?

Mr. Harrington groans, shooting the clock a backwards glance. 4 p.m., he acknowledges to himself. He’s already spent upwards of half an hour agonizing over this choice, and he just wants to go home.

Looking back at the stack, his eyes catch on to the note right below Ned’s. The name Flash Thompson peeks out, barely visible at the corner of the note. 

Slowly, a smile settles on Mr. Harrington’s face.

Again, Mr. Harrington isn’t blind. He’s long since been aware of Flash’s tendency to pick on (read: bully) Peter. Unfortunately, when Mr. Harrington went to Principal Morita with his concerns, Morita simply dismissed him without a second thought, citing the Thompsons’ excessive donations to the school as an excuse to let it go. At the time, Mr. Harrington merely gritted his teeth and gracefully bowed out of the principal’s office, resigned to keeping his silence despite the regret sinking in his stomach.

But now…

Mr. Harrington is just a teacher. There is nothing he can do on his own, not against a pair of wealthy parents or the principal. But there is nothing to say he can’t indirectly teach Flash a lesson.

This, this he can do.

Perhaps if Flash is forced to imagine walking down their school hallways without a hint of Peter Parker anywhere for the rest of his school days, he’ll realize Peter’s value and the faults of his actions. Perhaps if Flash sees how short and finite life is, he’ll see his wrongs.

Mr Harrington can only hope so, anyway.

:::

‘Every Fifteen Minutes’

“The Every 15 Minutes Program offers real-life experiences without the real-life risks. This emotionally charged program, entitled Every 15 Minutes, is an event designed to dramatically instill into teenagers the potentially dangerous consequences of drinking alcohol and texting while driving. This powerful program will challenge students to think about drinking, texting while driving, personal safety, and the responsibility of making mature decisions when lives are involved…”

:::

Three weeks later, the program truly begins. The principal makes sure to issue a warning beforehand to prevent any genuine panic from breaking out (the teachers learned that the hard way last year). With the reassurance that it isn’t real, many students see the two-day period scheduled for the program as a chance to take a break from their classes and unwind. 

They know what is going to happen. They know it will all be fake. No one is actually dying.

But sometimes, “knowing” doesn’t really equate to “understanding” or “believing,” and the subconscious tends to work in strange ways.

Despite the principal’s briefing, the students find themselves unprepared for the emotional upheaval that surges in them with each and every student’s "death". Every fifteen minutes, a participating deputy officer enters a different classroom and takes away one student. After the student’s removal, another police officer enters the classroom to read out a prepared obituary to the silence of the class. The obituary would be posted at the front of the classroom, and that would be that.

The chosen student wouldn’t return to classes for the rest of the day. Their notable absence from their usual routine is supposed to “simulate the feeling of loss that the other students would experience in the event of a real death,” or so the pamphlet claims. 

And it works.

Some students cry, loud and blubbering, as their friends are pulled out of the room. Others are silent, disquieted, as they try to imagine what it would be like if their classmate were really dead, immediately feeling dread and tragedy seep into them.

They’re only kids. Most of them have never even felt the effects of death before.

(They’re lucky. So, so lucky.)

Finally, an hour before classes break for lunch, an officer enters Mr. Harrington’s classroom. “Peter Parker,” he calls out, eyes flicking briefly to the card he’s holding. “Mr. Parker?” he repeats in the ensuing silence.

“I’m here,” Peter replies, a little surprised as he stands up, inwardly fighting to ignore the stares of his classmates. He didn’t expect to be chosen. He likes to be invisible, to stay in the background and blend in, and this is the complete opposite of “blending in.” 

“Mr. Parker,” the officer offers him a sympathetic smile. “Please gather your things. You won’t be returning today.”

The finality of the words you won’t be returning settles like a death knell in the classroom, and the hard edge is only barely softened by the comfort of today. Peter can already hear Betty, one of the most sensitive and empathetic of all his classmates, begin to sniffle.

Fighting the urge to glance back at Betty and reassure her, Peter nods politely at the officer. “Yes, sir,” he acknowledges with a respect that has been drilled into him by his aunt. He hurriedly shoves his pencil case and books into his bag and slings the backpack over one shoulder. He takes a moment to make sure his phone and his watch are both safe on his person –

Hold on. My watch. Peter’s eyes fixate on his wrist—his bare wrist—with growing horror. Where is it? Where did I leave it? 

Mr. Stark will kill him if he’s somehow managed to lose his multimillion dollar StarkWatch. Make sure to keep it on you at all times, you hear me, Parker? Tony had threatened upon gifting it to Peter one rainy day. It cost me a fortune—I promise it’s more expensive than you. Just kidding. Not really, but that doesn’t matter. Just – wear it always, please? It’ll monitor your vitals for me, so I’ll be able to check that you’re alive and not, I don’t know, bleeding out in an alleyway or something. I have heart problems, you know.

Shoot, shoot, shoot, Peter thinks now. How the heck am I going to explain this one? He’d sworn to Mr. Stark that he’d never take the watch off except to—

Oh. Oh.

(“KAREN, remind me to put my watch back on tomorrow morning, yeah?” Peter says aloud to his AI, attaching his StarkWatch to the charging case it came with. It’s the first time he’s had to charge it so far—he doesn’t know how its battery has been able to last this long, but somehow he’s not entirely surprised, given that it is Tony Stark’s creation—and he’s more than a little concerned that his forgetfulness and Parker Luck are going to rear their ugly heads at the same time.

“Of course, Peter,” KAREN hums in reply.)

Peter calms down and resists the urge to facepalm. Of course he’d ended up forgetting it at home, even after making a genuine effort to remember to wear it. He briefly wonders how he could have missed KAREN’s notification before shrugging it off. He’ll just put it back on tonight, before going on patrol. Tony had designed the watch with Spider-Man’s trouble-magnet tendencies in mind, after all; he’s pretty sure Peter Parker can live without it for one day.

God, he must really be out of it if he managed to go half a day without realizing the heavy watch—not literally heavy, because it’s a StarkWatch and Mr. Stark is nothing if not efficient, but metaphorically heavy with the weight of Mr. Stark’s expectations—is missing from his wrist. Peter feels a yawn building in his chest and thinks, yep, still out of it. Between a long patrol spanning from late night yesterday to the early hours of the morning today, and back-to-back science and math classes with droning teachers who refused to let him nap, today has been hell.

Peter raises a hand to his mouth and stifles a yawn. Maybe I can rest my eyes for a bit now that I’m being taken out of class, he thinks hopefully. Worries about his missing StarkWatch abated and fighting drowsiness, he dutifully follows the officer out of the classroom without another word.

Mere moments later, a different officer enters the room, false obituary in hand. She stands behind Mr. Harrington’s desk as if it is a podium, and recites solemnly, “Peter B. Parker, 16, died on the 5th of February, 2017, as a result of injuries sustained in a car crash involving a drunk driver. He was born on the 10th of August, 2001 in Queens, New York City, to Mary and Richard Parker. Peter is survived by his aunt, May Parker, as well as his close friends Ned Leeds and Michelle Jones.”

Betty sniffles louder. His aunt, she keens in a hushed whisper to any who will listen. The only family he has left is his aunt. If he – if he were really dead, she’d be all alone—! 

Her best friend, Cindy, reaches out between their desks and grips Betty’s hand tightly, like an anchor, a lifeline.

“At the time of his death, he was enrolled at Midtown High, where he touched many lives with his generosity and passion for life,” the officer continues, moving on to the next part of the obituary. Even as she reads, she keeps one eye on the students, her heart twinging briefly; she isn’t a mother herself—she doesn’t have kids to call her own—but she’s had to face the devastated parents of child victims before. She’s had to face child victims, period. It’s never a pretty sight. “A member of Midtown High’s Academic Decathlon, he displayed an unparalleled knack for solving problems and thinking outside the box. Peter truly lived life to the fullest through chasing simple pleasures: chatting with friends and family, eating takeout with his aunt, and reviewing any and all sci-fi themed movies. Peter had an uncanny ability to reach people in a deep and positive way; he was bright and energetic, and he was known for his tendency to help others.”

She pauses, her words sinking into the room savagely, raking through the students like a claw.

A few more students have started to shake at the sound of her words, and the image they paint—a dark-skinned boy in the corner, blinking rapidly at the mention of Peter’s tendency to help others; an Asian girl with pin-straight hair, biting her lip at the allusion to Peter’s brilliance; another boy, squeezing his eyes shut and looking away at the memory of Peter’s enthusiastic personality.

She shakes her head to clear the hesitation and adds, trying to maintain a facade of ruthless indifference: “He will be deeply missed by his family, friends, and all who knew him.”

And that final sentence, punching into the stillness of the room, makes it all so real. 

The tension in the room crumbles, much like Betty Brant does in her seat, dissolving into breathless tears. Much like Abe Brown does, burying his face in his hands and refusing to look up. Much like Cindy Moon does, trembling minutely in her chair as she remembers Peter Parker, his smile twinkling brightly at her like the north star. 

The officer trails off at last, and the room is left in silence as she gathers her composure and posts the obituary at the front of the room. The obituary has been professionally forged, made to appear real and foreboding—indeed, the dark borderings of the paper, the official lettering, and the sharp, crisp black ink all drive a nail into the proverbial coffin.

Listen, the obituary seems to whisper at them, vicious. Pay attention. You could lose him. 

Without another word, the officer exits the room and flees the morose stares of the students. With the officer gone, all that is left is the obituary. There is no other sign that Peter Parker’s alleged death ever occurred, except on the faces of those he “left behind.”

And in the empty space where he would have been sitting, smiling, laughing.

(Already, they are feeling the effects of loss, their usually boisterous gossip never starting up. Normally, Mr. Harrington would be glad for the reprieve. But today, he looks at his students, sitting dazed and numb in the midst of Peter’s stark absence, and just sighs.)

(Amidst the haze of sorrow, amidst the uncertainty, Ned Leeds slumbers on in blissful ignorance, having missed the entire scene as well as the principal’s disclaimer. Ned doesn’t usually sleep during class, he swears; he always tries to pay attention out of respect for his teachers, if nothing else.

But today, he can’t muster the energy to feign awareness. He’s tired, the liveliness sucked out of his soul after an exhausting night spent hunched above his computer, splitting his attention between listening to the police radio chatter and prattling on about any reported incidents to his web-slinging best friend.

He loves being Peter’s guy in the chair. That fact is uncontested. And he wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.

So Ned figures that if he has to miss a few hours of class to catch up on his much-needed sleep, then it’s worth it. What harm can it do, anyway? It’s not like he’s missing anything important.)

:::

It isn’t until the bell rings, calling for lunch time, that the students finally snap out of their stupor and Ned finally jerks awake. He yawns drowsily and blinks the sleep from his eyes, turning to Peter’s seat beside him. “Hey, Peter—”

Ned falls quiet, frowning in surprise when he doesn’t find Peter. Mumbling in confusion, he looks closer and realizes that Peter’s bags have disappeared, too. “What the—? Did he go to the cafeteria already?” he ponders aloud and tilts his head in confusion; he and Peter always get their lunch together. He can’t think of any reason why Peter wouldn’t have waited for him, especially since MJ is out sick today, leaving Peter with no one else to walk to the cafeteria with.

But where else would Peter be?

Finally, Ned just shrugs, figuring he can ferret out the why of it all later when he catches up to Peter in the lunch line. He gathers his bags in his hands and leaves the room, still puzzling over Peter’s disappearance. In his distraction, he completely misses the other students’ conversation about the very person he is seeking.

“Wow, I didn’t expect to get so emotional,” Cindy is saying to Betty. “It feels like Peter’s really gone.”

Betty nods rapidly. “I know! I mean, I guess that’s the point—to make us realize how serious this issue is. But it feels – weird, y’know? It’s not as if Peter speaks a lot normally—it isn’t any quieter now than it would be if he were still here—but he’s still an important, integral part of this class. I can’t imagine our class without him.”

“Pfft.” The derisive snort comes from Flash, who scrunches his nose at them as he overhears their murmurs. “We’re better off without that loser, anyway,” he says viciously, cuttingly.

“Wha— Flash!” Cindy scolds, straightening in her seat in anger. She was usually shy and timid, preferring to keep to herself, but her emotions run hot. Whenever she snaps, she does so with explosive force. “For once in your life, try not to be such an asshole,” she fumes. “You wouldn’t be saying that if he were really dead.”

Flash just harrumphs at that, turning up his nose with a sniff.

Cindy’s eyes glint with indignation. “Come on, Flash, stop—”

“Cindy,” Betty interjects with a pointed hum, resting a hand on her friend’s forearm. She shoots Cindy a significant look and herds the other girl to her feet. “Forget Flash. Let’s just go.”

“What?” Cindy blinks. “Betty, didn’t you hear what he said? How can you just—?”

“He isn’t worth it,” Betty shakes her head, the words cruel and dismissive, but the coldness of her gaze gentles when it sweeps past Flash again. She doesn’t say it now—doesn’t expose Flash—but she can’t forget what she saw earlier, as the officer was reading out Peter’s obituary: Flash, hunched in on himself in his corner seat, eyes downcast and red-rimmed. Flash is far more rattled by this program than he lets on, but if he wants to pretend to be a jerk to feel better about himself, Betty isn’t going to stop him.

They all have a lot to think about, after all, after today.

Cindy grumbles in annoyance, but begrudgingly follows Betty out of the room.

Flash waits until they’re both gone and he’s left alone in the sanctuary of the classroom before he lets the sneer fall from his face. Without his permission, his eyes automatically dart back to the obituary on the board. 

Goddamn Parker, he thinks, stomping down his guilt. He’s never bothered to make things right with Peter, never bothered to apologize and reach out and try, but… 

No. What am I thinking? Don’t be ridiculous, Flash. He’s not dead. He’s not. 

When he looks back up, grappling with anger at Peter and anger at himself, he realizes he’s subconsciously made his way to the front of the room, stopping only when he’s directly in front of the obituary.

He gazes at it critically. Peter looks... happy in the picture chosen for the obituary. Then again, Flash thinks, Parker is rarely ever not happy. The only times he’s ever seen Peter without a smile are – shit – when Flash is teasing him. Flash doesn’t even know why he does it, really.

Well, no, that isn’t true. He does know.

Somehow, some way, despite the background he comes from, Peter seems to have everything he wants. (Everything Flash wants.) 

Peter doesn’t come from money, Flash knows this—he knows this in the way Peter’s shoes never change even as they begin to fall apart, held together only by duct tape; he knows it in the way Peter goes through the same rotation of science pun t-shirts every once in a while; he knows it in the way Peter’s jeans still have the same stains from months ago, from when Flash shoved his lunch into his lap; he knows it in the way Ned always offers Peter half of his lunch everyday. 

Flash knows Peter’s aunt struggles to make ends meet.

And yet Peter is still so irritatingly cheerful, day after day. He has friends, too—real friends the likes of which Flash wouldn’t be able to recognize. Ned and MJ don’t stick by Peter because of his riches or his reputation, not like Flash’s friends do. 

And most of all, Peter is frustratingly intelligent. He has the Decathlon position Flash yearns for, he has the teachers’ favor (Flash sees the way Ms. Warren and Mr. Harrington smile whenever Peter raises his hand and blurts out the correct answer with record speed, even if Peter had noticeably barely been paying attention beforehand), he has the effortless straight-As.

He even has an aunt who loves him. On nights where Flash’s jealousy gets really, really ugly, Flash can’t help but think that Peter has more family than he does, despite his losses. Peter may have lost his parents and his uncle, but his aunt genuinely adores him, in ways Flash’s parents never have. The disparity has become obvious over the years: every time they have a Decathlon competition, Peter always has someone to cheer him on—a familiar vision of long brown hair and Go Peter Parker! banners and excited squeals—even though Flash has no doubt that May Parker is endlessly busy paying off the bills.

Flash’s parents are nowhere near as busy, and yet they have never once shown up to one of his competitions. And sure, he’s just an alternate, but he’s still part of the team. He wishes his parents could appreciate that.

So. Flash is jealous. He hates it, but – he doesn’t understand Peter. He doesn’t get what Peter has that he doesn’t; what makes Peter better than him. 

He can’t accept it.

(So he lashes out. He lashes out and lashes out and lashes out, using Peter’s shame and pain as a balm for his own wounds.

It doesn’t help, not really. But it makes him feel powerful. It gives him control, the sort of control he’s never had in his own home where his mother is always flitting in and out like a flighty butterfly attracted to shinier things and his father is always filling the silence with drunken shouts, and Flash can’t bring himself to stop.)

Malice and self-loathing burning within him in equal measure, the opposing sides of the same coin mingling until the lines are blurred and the two are indistinguishable, Flash pushes his guilt into a vault and locks it in, firmly. There’s no way I feel bad for Penis Parker, he tells himself sharply. He deserves it. Someone has to show him his place, after all. Besides, I have nothing to be sorry for. He’s not even dead. 

And so Flash does what he does best: he lashes out again. 

Without a word, he digs his phone out of his pocket and snaps a quick picture of the obituary, Peter’s name emblazoned prominently under his picture. He logs into his Twitter account and attaches the picture to a new post, thumbs flying rapidly across the keyboard as he types out a pithy caption with harsh, angry jabs. By the time the photo has been uploaded (accompanied by the acerbic words as if anyone would even miss parker, lol), his fingers are squeezing the phone so tightly it feels like it will leave a permanent dent in his skin.

(There’s no way Flash could have known the domino effect his actions would spark. He has no idea the disaster he’s courting by posting that obituary—and without any sort of disclaimer, no less. He doesn’t even spare a moment of thought for the possible ramifications of his post.

Truthfully, Flash isn’t thinking at all when he acts, the only thing driving him his contempt.)

:::

Tony Stark is in a board meeting when it happens. He’s barely paying attention as it is, leaning back slightly and scrolling through his phone beneath the table with the ease of someone who’s done so a thousand times before. He can sense Pepper glaring at him out of the corner of his eye, but no one else seems to notice his distracted state, so he ignores her palpable annoyance. He can just get FRIDAY to replay the highlights of the meeting for him later, anyway.

“Boss,” FRIDAY interrupts with a smooth whirr, startling the board members. “Protocol: On the Web has been triggered.”

Tony jerks upright as if yanked by a leash, nearly losing his grip on his phone in his shock. Protocol: On the Web was designed to screen the internet for any mention of Peter Parker’s name, or any emergence of his face. “Shit,” he curses under his breath, sliding his phone into his pocket and swiping his hand across the air to signal FRIDAY to open whatever had flagged her systems.

The board members are murmuring amongst themselves by now, and Pepper’s glare has darkened, but Tony doesn’t even notice, his heart thundering in his chest. If Peter’s secret identity has been endangered—

Tony blinks.

It’s a Twitter post.

With more than a little confusion and wariness, his eyes take in the caption first: as if anyone would even miss parker, lol. 

Tony’s gut churns at the callousness of the words, an intangible and unfathomable dread sinking its claws into his soul. He can’t quite understand why those words make his heart stutter in his chest, until—

Until he can.

There’s a picture of the kid above the heartless caption. Of his kid. Peter’s smiling up at him, curls as messy and unkempt as ever, freckles dusting his cheeks in a way that makes Tony want to squeeze. And his eyes—god, his eyes—are as wide and innocent as they always are, gleaming with the cheer of youth even from the other side of a screen. 

And beneath the picture: 

In honor of Peter Benjamin Parker. 

2001 - 2017.

And Tony’s heart stops. His world starts to fall apart at the seams.

He can’t think. Can’t breathe. He collapses into his seat like the air’s been punched out of him, like he’s a marionette and his strings have been cut. 

No. No no no—

Oh, god. Not him. He can’t be gone.

Please don’t take him away from me—

Blood roars in his ears, deafening him to all else as he stares blankly—uncomprehendingly—at the picture. Beyond the ringing in his ears, Tony can hear a broken, strangled wail—

It takes him a belated moment to realize the wail came from him. 

“Tony—” Pepper’s voice is muddled in his ears. 

Tony’s standing before he even realizes what he’s doing. He pushes his chair back, staggering away from the table of board members staring at him in confusion, as if Tony’s gone mad when Tony’s pretty sure they’re the ones who are insane, to act as if the world is still spinning, as if anything else matters. “I have to – I have to go—” he chokes out, fumbling with his wristwatch until the Iron Man suit starts assembling around his body in a familiar process that does nothing to ground him. “Pep—”

He turns to her in a panic, but he doesn’t have to worry: she’s already nodding in understanding and agreement as she leans in to see FRIDAY’s alert, her face pale and ashen, one hand clapped over her mouth as if to stifle a cry. 

(Pepper has always loved Peter.)

“Go,” is all she says, but he’s never heard her voice like that before: like her reality is collapsing all around her and she’s helpless to keep it together.

(Maybe he’s the one who’s helpless.)

A few board members startle, exclaiming in protest.

Tony turns, ready to yell at them until they understand that his world’s just stopped, can’t they see, but Pepper is already on it. “Family emergency,” she says, hoarse.

And any other time, Tony would have flushed and immediately tried to deny the implications of him and Peter being “family” with a stammer, all the while feeling warm that Pepper recognized them as so.

(Why did he always deny it? Why did he never just tell Peter how he felt?

Now, he’s lost the chance to. Peter will never know how much he loved him, how much he still loves him, because nothing can take this from Tony—

Peter will never realize.) 

But this isn’t any other time, because Peter is—

Tony grits his teeth. He can’t finish the thought.

Instead, he angles himself towards the window and shoots off the ground, crashing through glass and soaring through the air with one destination in mind: “FRI,” he says, voice wrecked and unrecognizable even to his own ears, “plot a course to Midtown High.”

(Because god, it’s midday on an ordinary, unremarkable Thursday and Peter is supposed to be in school. He’s supposed to be safe.)

:::

The first thing he does is order—implore—FRIDAY to call Peter, the command hoarse and shaky in his voice. Terrified.

The phone rings once—

“Please,” Tony mouths, the plea loud and deafening in the cavern of his mind. It’s all he can hear, but no sound leaves him. He’s breathless, the air stolen from his lungs, and he doesn’t know how to return himself to solid ground. “Please. Please please please pick up.”

He’s never felt like this before, like the fate of his entire world hinges on one thing, one person, one phone call—

—Twice—

Tony squeezes his eyes shut, almost like he’s too afraid to face reality, to watch the moment of its inevitable collapse. To watch the foundations of his universe crumble to ashes, just like—

No. He can’t be. 

—It rings a third time—

A few days ago—mere days—Peter had sent Tony a flurry of memes, all punctuated by at least half a dozen exclamation marks and emojified laughter. Tony had indulgently gone through each meme, snorted a couple times, and then restrained himself to sending back one eye-roll and a disapproving don’t use your phone in class, kid. 

Peter had sent back an eye-roll of his own. 

At the time, Tony could never have imagined this—could never have imagined losing Peter. If he could have envisioned this, could have foreseen the unadulterated terror gripping his heart, he would never have told Peter to stop texting in class. He would have maybe sent a laughing emoji of his own and encouraged his rebellious use of his phone during school hours.

Maybe then, Peter would pick up now. Wouldn’t leave Tony hanging in the worst moment of his life.

But he can’t take back the text he’d sent, the reproving don’t use your phone, and now Tony’s helpless to do anything but hope against hope that—

—Ring—

Tony swallows. Don’t ignore me, he wants to yell, even though the call hasn’t connected and Peter can’t hear him. You’re not supposed to ignore me. You have to pick up—I need you to pick up—

I need you, period—

Please.

—his pleas go unheard, and the phone rings again—

The phone clicks.

“Hey!” 

Tony’s heart lurches to his throat, hope soaring—

“It’s Peter here!” A familiar, shy giggle erupts on the other end of the line—the same giggle that typically sends a burst of warmth blooming across Tony’s chest. “Sorry I missed your call.”

Tony inhales sharply, finally recognizing Peter’s familiar voicemail greeting for what it is. Peter’s voice giggles again, but this time, it brings him no joy, no contented bliss; this time, it sends his heart crashing to the ground, hope withering like unprotected primroses in the blistering desert heat.

“Please leave a message at the beep. Or, you know, just send me a text like normal people. Unless this is Mr. Stark, in which case feel free to keep calling and prove your senior status.”

Normally, Peter’s voicemail message brings an amused smile to his lips, exasperation and fondness swelling within his chest in equal measure. Peter, he’d chide, how many times do I have to tell you to change your voicemail? I’m not ancient. I’m efficient. 

Today, Peter’s teasing voice makes him choke on air, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Instead of affection, it is dread that pools inside him; he takes several deep breaths, trying hard to contain the fear, but as the phone beeps tauntingly, a vision of Peter flashes across his mind. He can almost imagine the wide, shit-eating grin that took over Peter’s face when he first recorded the voicemail greeting, lounging lazily on a hammock of webs hanging from his ceiling.

His tentative self-control shatters under the weight of that image, and his dread surges and spills over the edges, breaking through the dam that is his restraint.

“Peter,” he croaks, teetering on the edge of a cliff. Salvation on one side, damnation on the other. “Peter, where – where are you? You have to… you have to call me back when you get this. Please. I—please.”

The phone beeps again, mute in his ears, and Tony is empty. He has nothing left to give, nothing but fear and uncertainty and desperation and—

A dying hope. Please. 

Silence. There’s no one to answer his calls, to reassure him and comfort him.

Tony falls and falls and falls. He watched the sharp, jagged rocks rush up to meet him, lets the tempestuous waves swallow him whole. There is no salvation here.

:::

It isn’t until he is only a few minutes away from Midtown High that Tony finally musters the courage to order FRIDAY to reopen the post. He doesn’t want to see it—he doesn't want to face it, Peter’s death—but he needs to know.

“Boss, are you sure?” FRIDAY asks, hesitant. Sometimes, Tony can’t help but think that she knows him better than he knows himself.

This time, he blunders on, ignoring her unspoken note of caution. “Do it, FRI,” he snaps, breathless, steeling himself for the worst.

After a beat, the picture pops up in his visor.

Tony bites his lip and lets his eyes drink in the words:

“Peter B. Parker, 16, died on the 5th of February, 2017, as a result of injuries sustained in a car crash involving a drunk driver…”

Tony’s heart stops all over again. He can’t see beyond those words—see beyond 16 and died and car crash and drunk driver.

“No,” he says, and it comes out as a broken moan. “No.” 

(Tony prepared for the worst, but this—

Nothing could have prepared him for this.)

Please, no.

A drunk driver. Drunk.

Ever the masochist, Tony can’t help but flash back to years into the past, his past, filled with an endless stream of alcohol and an equally endless line of reckless actions. Tony had been stupid as a teenager. Young and wild and dumb. 

What if he never stopped? What if he never put down the bottle?

What if it was him who killed Peter?

He’d never forgive himself.

(He already can’t forgive himself.)

Tony sucks in a harsh breath that scrapes against the inner walls of his throat like the serrated edge of a knife. A long, long time ago, the men in his life liked to say: Stark men are made of iron. 

Well, if Tony were made of iron, then he is bending and twisting, caving in on himself, turning brittle and cracking and shattering beneath the vicious, unforgiving hammer that is the words drunk driver staring mercilessly back at him. 

Tony closes his eyes and wills the obituary away with a whispered command; he’s seen enough. FRIDAY wordlessly obeys, for once quiet and unresponsive in the suit, lacking her usual sarcastic gibes. If he doesn’t know any better, he’d say she’s in mourning.

Tony mourns. He mourns Peter Parker, not Spider-Man, in the wake of the words car crash and drunk driver stampeding through his mind like a broken record. He mourns Peter’s awkward rambles and giggling laughter, Peter’s childish innocence and overeager attitude, Peter’s earnest eyes and beaming grins, so blinding in their brilliance that not even the sun can hold a candle to them—or to Peter’s radiance.

He wishes he could see Peter smile one more time. He’s always loved Peter’s smiles.

But he can’t. Now, stranded here in a world that has let him down in the worst possible way, all he’s left with are memories, memories that have been tainted by an unfeeling report and car crash… drunk driver. An accident.

An accident.

God, it was an accident. Just an accident. How strange—laughable even, in a sick, twisted way—that being Spider-Man hadn’t killed the kid (his kid, Tony thinks of him as his), but that a car had.

How strange, Tony thinks, that after years and years of torment and heartbreak, after wilting under his father’s cruel (loveless) gaze and Stane’s betrayal (a betrayal years in the making) and Steve’s deception (his eyes void of recognition and warmth, his lips downturned, his voice silent as he turns away from Tony Stark for the last time and walks out of his life), it is this that breaks the great Tony Stark.

Except it isn’t strange at all. It isn’t strange when Tony lets himself dwell on Peter and the exact curve of his smile—shy and sweet and true—the sound of his high-pitched laughter (you sound constipated, Tony mocks, like a beached whale, and Peter shoves him away with yet another constipated laugh), the way he’d tuck himself into the loop of Tony’s arm when he’s feeling anxious, his eager demeanor and unashamed declarations of you’ve always been my hero, Mr. Stark. On the exact shade of Peter’s eyes—a warm hazelnut brown, like a mug of hot chocolate by the fireplace amidst the winter storm—on the shape of his birthmark, on the nervous stammer that often befalls him.

On his kindness and his thoughtfulness and the way he lives and loves and laughs without fear. On the light that shines so effortlessly from within him, threatening to blind Tony with its virtuous incandescence.

If he weren’t Iron Man, if FRIDAY weren’t keeping him safe and engulfed within his nitinol confines, Tony doesn’t think he’d be able to keep himself upright. 

(If FRIDAY didn’t auto-lock the suit whenever he’s in it, Tony would gladly let himself fall.)

(Funny how Tony planned for nearly every eventuality. 

Keyword: nearly. 

He built Peter’s suit to be strong enough to withstand anything. He built the suit to protect the kid—just a kid—from Captain America himself, from alien weapons, from hundred-feet falls, from even the relentless cold. 

He’s never once imagined he’d have to protect Peter from a drunk driver. And, well—

And if you died, I feel like that’s on me.)

:::

(In the end, it takes less than half an hour to fly to Midtown High in the Iron Man suit.

It’s twenty minutes of flight.

It’s an eternity of torture.)

:::

Tony Stark has always known three things for certain:

One: Howard Stark is an asshole.

Two: He will never be able to repent for all the deaths his weapons have caused. No matter how hard he tries, no matter how many more people he saves, it will never be enough to erase his sins or wash the blood from his hands.

And three: If Peter Parker were to die, a part of Tony would die with him.

:::

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

[love-killed-the-superstar]

day 5 was fun!!!! we could all do with some happy cass!!!

CASSANDRA APPRECIATION WEEK DAY 5 - HAPPINESS

Happiness can be so many things, depending on who you ask. For Cassandra, it has changed over time.

It started with watching the sparks fly in Xavier's forge, it was crouching with her ear pressed against the door listening to her father talk about guard formation, it was sitting cross-legged on her bed drawing map after map of the castle, perfecting her cartography and wondering about what would come next. It was learning how to ride a horse, getting an extra toffee apple from Uncle Monty “just for being such a loyal customer”, it was the rare times she was invited to drink tea with the queen who watched her fondly, like maybe she would her own daughter some day.

Then as she grew older it was admiring her father's second-in-command, a tall butch nearing retirement, scribbling her feelings in letters that would never be sent, asking for the woman to help Cass with her form while she sparred. It was wishing she was grown up already so she could be as cool, as confident, as trusted. It was mastering weaponry, polishing the armour of the guard with her dad on rainy afternoon when training was cancelled, listening to his stories and wondering if she'd ever have some of her own one day, where she could be the hero and someone else would be listening with bated breath.

Happiness turned into something new entirely when she met Rapunzel.

Happiness was watching her kick ass. It was blackberry buns and friendship bracelets and learning to swim. It was long days at the lagoon, early mornings treading water, afternoons on the shores drying in the sun, late evenings sneaking in a quick sparring practice before picking their way back to the castle in time for Rapunzel's supper with her parents. It was opening herself up to someone who liked her for all the things she was told to conceal. It was warm eyes and soft hair and almost-kissable lips, begging her not to go.

Then... there wasn't really a whole lot. Did happiness come from the moonstone? Perhaps Cass found some misguided happiness from being taken seriously for once in her life. Maybe it did feel good just to let all her feelings fly, but between the continuous heartbreaks, the betrayals, and all the destruction left in her wake? Not so much.

Well. No use thinking about that now.

On her way back to Corona for the first time since she left for her journey, Cass stops by the lagoon. It feels a little weird, visiting without Rapunzel, almost like she shouldn't be here at all. It's never been hers alone – and so to be here alone is a surreal experience in itself. Well, if she can even call it a lone journey considering that Fidella and Owl have joined her.

Fidella is happy to stand in the shallows to keep cool while Owl stretches his wings, circling the skies above. Cass sits for a while, just basking in the sun. There's an almost dry heat, unusual for May, that bakes the lagoon slowly. Rolling waves of heat shimmer just above the water's surface, watches how the light dances with each rolling wave. She doesn't have much time to kill before heading off if she wants to make it back to the kingdom in time, but... there's something missing. Something she feels she can't return without.

See, happiness is Rapunzel, in a strange sort of way. For all of the grief they've shared, the anger they've hurled at each other, Cass loves her. So much. Likewise, Rapunzel loves her. Seeing her for the first time since her journey began will be... well, it'll be nerve-wracking to say the least. The letters they've exchanged while on the road have been tentative, neither one of them quite sure how to express their feelings through the coldness of pen and paper. Sure, they're more than friends now, and they and all their friends know that, but for what its worth they haven't actually really spent time together yet. Cass wants to do something; something strong, something meaningful, to make up for the distance.

So she goes swimming for stones.

The water is cool, a shock to her system after travelling in such warm, dry weather. Fidella watches her in amusement as she dives to the bottom, reaching for stones, bringing them to the surface in handfuls to examine the ones that will look just right for her gift. Happiness is moments like these, where nothing and no one in the world is keeping her from pursuing her goal. Happiness is what comes after too, floating on the surface in a starfish formation with the rocks piled safely on the sure, warmth beating down on her. She knows she can't stay here forever; along with the countdown until her expected return there's the risk of sunburn, and wouldn't that be an unsightly way to greet Raps after all this time? But still – just for a little while, with the sun on her face, warming her through and through, this is happiness.

…

Sometimes happiness takes a village – or in this case, a kingdom. Case in point, the whole of Corona is buzzing with anticipation for Rapunzel's birthday banquet tonight.

Cass has kept the plan of her return a secret to Rapunzel these last few weeks, at the request of Eugene – something that surprised her initially. She supposes at this point, after all the three of them have been through, it shouldn't be surprising that he wants her to be equally present in Rapunzel's life. Still, the gesture was oddly touching to her. What would that feeling be? Could happiness be acknowledgement, too?

Once he smuggles her into the throne room, grin wide as he poked fun at her new smattering of facial scars from life on the road, Cass is soon put to work. First comes the arrangement of the purple and gold balloons, the hanging of the banner, organisation of the gift piles. Then the entertainment is set up – a small, bare bones string quartet hold a short rehearsal that further invigorates the staff and guests. Cass then has her ear talked off by Kiera and Catalina, both enamoured by her new collection of battle scars, while they assist with the flower arrangements. Finally, after every table has been laid and the majority of staff have cleared out to take a brief rest before the celebration commences, a paper lantern is pressed into Cassandra's hands.

She looks up, and to her surprise, it is Queen Arianna handing her the lantern, with a warm smile she most often reserves for her own daughter.

“My Queen,” Cass says hurriedly, bowing her head in greeting.

“Cassandra,” she says, in a saccharine-sweet tone. “It's wonderful to have you back. Eugene did let me know of your secret arrangement, so I was hoping to say hello before the festivities begin.”

“It's good to be back. And I wouldn't miss Rapunzel's birthday for anything. Even after... all that I did, I hope it's all right that I came back.”

“The King still has some reservations,” Arianna muses, taking her own lantern in her hands. She takes a prepared letter from her robe pocket and rolls it up, securing it with a rich purple ribbon before slipping it inside the lantern. “But he isn't the most... adept to change. He will come around. And both Rapunzel and I see no problem with you returning. Corona will be your home for as long as you see it that way, and I can't think of a worse thing to do than turn you away from your home.”

Warmth blooms in Cassandra's chest, and she nods quickly, looking away. It's not easy, letting herself talk normally to the people around her who still remember the rampage she lead this time last year. But she isn't that person anymore. And to say that is more than just donning new scars and wearing new clothes. She doesn't spit fire at the drop of a hat anymore. She doesn't push people away. Everything is a conscious effort, of course, but just by doing so she knows she's moved past being the broken soul she was before.

“I can't wait to see her,” sighs Cass. “We've been in touch, but she's so much more in person.”

Arianna cracks a smile. “She'll be over the moon to see you too. Although Rapunzel tries not to show it, I can tell she's been sorely disappointed at the very notion that she might spend her birthday without you here to celebrate it with her.”

Cass blushes to her roots, but tries her best to keep her face unreadable. Still, it must be fairly obvious. Sometimes happiness is just knowing that Rapunzel misses her, thinks about her, wishes for her to appear.

“I had... hoped to visit for her birthday, but it's Eugene who actually reached out to me and convinced me to return.”

“Well, he wants what's best for Rapunzel,” Arianna says sagely, “and I can't imagine anyone she would want at her side more than the two of you.”

Now Cass knows her blush is unmistakable.

“Has Rapunzel... talked to you about how we left things?” she dares to ask, already feeling a little dizzy from the high stakes of this conversation.

“She has. And... it was me who told her that only she could decide what kind of queen she would one day become, and it's something I stand by. The company she keeps, and the nature of the relationships, are things that the three of you will have to talk about more publicly some day. For now, however, I'll just offer my congratulations, and my blessing.” Her eyes twinkle, and in this moment Cass feels seen, in a way she's just not used to.

“Thank you,” she whispers, mouth dry.

“From what I've seen, I think the three of you bring out the best in each other, and that's a remarkable quality for a relationship to have. A kingdom needs strong foundations to run smoothly, after all.”

“I, um... I want to do right by her,” Cass says quietly, hugging her lantern to her chest. “I wasn't in a good place before, but finding my own way in the world has changed me for the better, and it's something I don't think I could have done without Rapunzel. So, I want to be there for her too.”

“As long as you're happy, Cassandra,” Arianna says simply, a beaming smile on her face. After a pause, she adds, “And are you? Happy, I mean?”

Cass, with a grin of her own, nods.

“I – yes. I am.”

“Well then,” Arianna continues, sunny as ever, “I am overjoyed for you, my dear. I only hope you channel some of that happiness into your lantern message.”

She is soon called away to give her opinion on the royal table's flower arrangement, and Cass stares at her blank lantern, unsure of where to start. She's never been great at decorating, so it won't be pretty. As a kid she used to write some incomprehensible nonsense about how it was her dream to rescue the lost princess herself, but... well, that dream hadn't quite panned out like she'd pictured growing up.

In the end, she just writes from her heart.

I love you, Raps. And for as long as the sun shines, I will never stop.

It's short, it's just sappy enough without being overkill, and it's all hers.

Cassandra sets it to one side, and then Varian bursts into the room, shouting, “Everyone get down and dim the lights, she'll be here any minute!”

Eugene waves her over to join him and Lance, who are waiting right by the heavy doors with grins a mile wide, and Cass heads over with a spring in her step. She sticks a hand in her pocket, feeling her present inside – two bracelets, threaded with great difficulty on her part, to replace the one that had been destroyed all those years ago.

“You ready?” Eugene asks, all smiles as she crouches down at his side.

Happiness is knowing that any moment, she will walk through that door.

[sunsreign-moved]

SEND ✊ for your muse to punch out someone that was harassing my muse | Accepting. 

@thiefreign​​   said: ✊

She was still new to balls and fancy events (that involved high heeled shoes she’d no doubt abandon early on)    but despite that MOST guests were kind and easy to speak to.   

This evening in particular Rapunzel had made acquaintanceship with a Prince from one of the seven kingdoms. 

 He was friendly and their conversation had been quite enjoyable UNTIL  he leaned in a little TOO close. 

 The Princess took a step back,  perhaps he didn’t realize he was breaking her personal bubble? But again even though she had made some distance between them he insisted on leaning in. 

  Hand now resting on the small of her back.  That was enough for her to excuse herself ...  but when she attempted to leave her wrist was grabbed, halting her exit.    

“I’m sorry,  but I have to go ---”  she tried to pull her hand free but his grip only tightened.   They were out on the balcony so no guards were around to witness it.  

Fear was beginning to arise within her UNTIL.   

BAM

Rapunzel blinked and suddenly the man was on the ground, unconscious and now at her side was Eugene.  

“W-What, what did you do?”  she turned to give the former thief a bewildered look.  She was thankful he came to her aid but ...  maybe there could’ve been a BETTER way to handle things?    

[starberry-cupcake]

Disney Concert in Teatro Colón

You folks I cried my eyes out today. The thing hadn’t even started, Donald came out from a theater box dressed in a tuxedo to say hi and I started crying. I was expecting an orchestra and a movie screen and knew I was gonna cry anyway but by the second song, Aladdin and Jasmine were suspended midair in a flying carpet over the entire orchestra and I knew I was in for a journey. By the time the intermission came in, I was bawling and a guy who was recording the crowd for a promotional video was right next to me filming and I was there crying like a baby in the potential promotional video. But anyway, I’m gonna share a bit of a summary, the setlist, descriptions and some pictures (taken when it was allowed to take them) and a bit of an explanation of what this concert was and how it came to be, even if just for my own safekeeping. 

This is a collaboration between Disney Concerts (the part of Disney Music Group which works with licences and promotion for different type of worldwide concert productions, like the symphonic Star Wars concerts or the special orchestra editions of movie releases and so on) and Teatro Colón, their orchestra and conductor (Enrique Arturo Diemecke), their dancers and choreographers, and some stage musical performers and other folk who were brought in for this specific thing (I recognized at least 4 ensemble members from having seen them in local productions of musicals like Bare, Pleybill and Phantom). 

I thought it was going to be like those movie editions which have a screen and the orchestra. It was enough to want me to see it and know for sure I was going to cry, but it ended up having on stage performances with effects, costumes, face characters, beautiful scenery and puppetry. 

Before the show began, Donald, Goofy and Pluto came out from boxes on the sides of the stage to say hi to the audience and once it began Mickey and Minnie also joined. All the fab 5 had costume changes, Mickey was the one to have most of them. 

The setlist was as follows: 

Act I (52 minutes)

Overture (Bob Hilliard/Jimmie Dodd/Sammy Cahn/Al Hoffman/Jerry Livingston/Allie Wrubel/Sammy Fain/Mack David/Ray Gilbert/Richard Sherman/Robert Sherman)

This was a great medley with a lot of things I won’t fully remember but you can guess by the composers listed. It included Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, The Mickey Mouse March, various Cinderella songs (I teared up there), Peter Pan’s You Can Fly!x3, Small World and a Mary Poppins medley, among others. I loved that one of the kids next to me shouted more for Mary Poppins than for any other movie in the entire concert, he was so excited when Chim Chim Cher-ee started. I mean, same. Also in the end there was a Walt quote with his photo and I was crying once more. 

Aladdin

Friend Like Me (Howard Ashman/Alan Menken)

This was sang by 3 singers rather than only one and had a very big choreography including pyrotechnics, ensemble singers, dancers and a lot of props. 

A Whole New World (Howard Ashman/Alan Menken)

I already mentioned it but there was an actual carpet suspended over the orchestra which flew around the stage with Aladdin and Jasmine as they sang this one, with the movie background on a double screen. It was pretty magical. 

The Princess and the Frog

Down in New Orleans (Randy Newman)

I loved how this song was performed but I was confused by Tiana’s costumes in both songs, this one had an entire ensemble singing as well, with props and really nice costumes. 

Almost There (Randy Newman)

Tiana had a costume change but I still didn’t quite understand it because they didn’t match the movie ones. I mean, they were appropriate for the time period, but not quite like any of hers. Maybe they changed the palette because of staging reasons idk. She didn’t have the dress from the parks either, maybe because it isn’t very comfortable for dancing. In any case, Tiana had a great voice and this song isn’t easy to keep up with but she did great. 

Fantasia

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (Paul Dukas)

This was just the orchestra with the movie sequence, without any actors until the very end, which I appreciated because I wanted to see the orchestra performing a segment I have so vividly in my mind I can hear it in my head and see what each instrument was doing. Kids got scared because who didn’t get scared with Fantasia as a kid. In the last bit, Mickey came in with his red robe and the two buckets and it was adorable. 

Beauty and the Beast

Be Our Guest (Howard Ashman/Alan Menken)

Lumiere had a similar outfit to the Broadway production and, like in the Broadway production, was one of the only characters, aside from the fab 5, to interact with the audience. Lumiere is always a good MC. The performance was also similar to the Broadway one but scaled down for the occasion, it was like a simplified version of that one, in a way. 

Beauty and the Beast (Howard Ashman/Alan Menken)

The entire audience audibly gasped when Belle and the Beast came in. The performance was based on the Celine Dion/Peabo Bryson version instead of the movie one, so there were two singers instead of one, all dressed in period attire and Belle’s dress was more sparkly than her usual, to glimmer under the lights of the theater. It was so magical. 

Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty Medley (Piotr Tchaikovsky)

This was a medley that involved some of the ballet music, including Once Upon A Dream and I Wonder. There were no singers and a couple of ballet dancers in their classic attires for this ballet rather than characterized as in the movie, which is something I’ll mention again later. It was very beautifully performed. 

Mulan

Reflection (David Zippel/Matthew Wilder)

The performance was based on the pop single more so on the movie version, much like with Beauty and the Beast and not like in Aladdin where they kept the movie one. I assume this had to do with length, since it was the only Mulan song featured, so they went with the longer version. There was some choreography and an ensemble together with her on stage. 

Pirates of the Caribbean

Pirates of the Caribbean Medley (Klaus Badelt/Geoffrey Zanelli/Ramin Djawadi/James Dooley/Hans Zimmer/Sreve Jablonsky)

Well, this was inescapable. It’s not the first thing I think of when I think “Disney concert” but the music is good and it appeals to a big audience and the performance was pretty epic, so it’s ok. The sequences didn’t showcase actors specifically much, it was more an edited track with action and scenes along with the tempo of the music, which was cool. I have to admit I got kind of focused on the fact that as this was going, they were setting up the props for the next segment, which I was looking forward to. 

Moana

Tulou Tagaloa (Opetaia Tavita Foa’i)

There were several effects in the Moana segment and it started with one third of the stage, which had been lowered, coming back up with someone starting to sing, then the opposite third also came up, with the middle of the stage still “submerged” in the ocean. 

How Far I’ll Go (Lin Manuel Miranda)

Moana came in from beside the orchestra and she moved across the stage with the boat still submerged in the ocean. This part made me weep, I’m not even gonna lie. Moana’s outfit wasn’t exactly like the one in the parks but wasn’t as far off as Tiana’s, it was a bit of a blend. This was one of my favorite performances overall. 

We Know The Way (Lin Manuel Miranda/Opetaia Tavita Foa’i)

If the first two parts of the Moana segment made me weep, here I was outright crying. The ocean rose to the shore with several dancers and performers, a part of which used a sheet and movements to lift Moana’s boat and carry it to her, it looked amazingly impressive. 

Intermission (20 minutes)

Act II (43 minutes)

Fantasia 2000

The Firebird Suite (Igor Stravinsky)

This one, much like the segment from the first Fantasia, was just the screen with the animation accompanied by the orchestra. I was surprised they’d include something from Fantasia 2000 but given that there were a good amount of classics included, this one was a good choice with the animation being one of the most well-remembered of Fantasia 2000. It didn’t give me the chills The Sorcerer’s Apprentice did though. 

Hercules

Zero to Hero (David Zippel/Alan Menken)

BOY OH BOY I LOVED THIS ONE. The Muses were great, there was a chorus of ladies and they danced and everything was beautiful. The Muses were on the lower stage in pillars posing as statues and as the music started, the stage came up and they started dancing. Before the song began the orchestra did the intro for the movie with the scene of Olympus and a bit of Go The Distance. 

A Star Is Born (David Zippel/Alan Menken)

PEOPLE WERE SO INTO THIS ONE. The little girl in front of me was dancing so much and I don’t think she even saw Hercules at all because she didn’t know who they were but she was so into it and I’m glad, Hercules deserves more love. These ladies brought the house down in two songs, it was epic. 

Tangled

When Will My Life Begin & Reprise (Glenn Slater/Alan Menken)

Rapunzel came in on a gorgeous piece of scenery painted like her room with props and stairs and the Claire Keane painting and at least 3 grown ups around me sighed when they saw her and I started weeping again. This was the point when I realized I know most of these songs in two languages by heart and I sang along all the Tangled songs in Spanish too. Rapunzel was gorgeous, her outfit was just like in the parks, as was her hair, and her voice was so good. She sang both the original and the first reprise back to back. 

I’ve Got A Dream (Glenn Slater/Alan Menken)

The stage that was lowered came up again with a good bunch of the pub thugs with the Snuggly Duckling on the screen behind. Some where doing pirouettes and it was impressive. Then there were even more thugs coming in and Eugene entered a bit later, when everyone was singing. The crowd noticed, let me assure you. He sang his bit and then Rapunzel did hers and when the song was done, the thugs said goodbye and left them along to sing the last part. 

I See The Light (Glenn Slater/Alan Menken)

OH BOY THIS. I LOST IT AT THIS. The moment Eugene brought out the lantern, the entire theater illuminated faintly with lights and there were projectors with the Corona sun lighting up the ceiling. Now, for context, let me show you some picture of the theater. 

Imagine those lights faintly glowing with he rest of the lights out. Now look at this chandelier. 

Picture that chandelier with its multiple tiny yellow lights also glowing and the ceiling illuminated by corona suns. 

Everything while the stage there had Rapunzel and Eugene and one lit lantern in their hands. Amazing. The Tangled bit was the best bit and people loved it the most as well. 

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms

Waltz of the Flowers (Piotr Tchaikovsky) 

I personally think this was a bit of a cop out, in terms of song selection, people aren’t immediately thinking of Nutcracker when they think Disney, even if Helen Mirren is my goddess, but the performance allowed the kid dancers to perform and they were so good I can’t complain. They were adorable and the girl playing Clara was stellar. 

Tarzan

Two Worlds (Phil Collins)

So, these performances were a bit strange but I can’t complain because some of the ensemble members are performers I’ve been following for a while and I really like, so I’ll allow it. The group of singers were dressed in rock attire, I guess, not in any sort of Tarzan related clothes, maybe it was a take on making it more Phil Collins-y. 

You’ll Be In My Heart (Phil Collins)

This one was sang primarily by one lead singer and accompanied by the previous ensemble. Remember when I said the ballet dancers from Sleeping Beauty didn’t have their movie character costumes? There was a couple dancing to this song as the singer performed it and their costumes looked more like what I was expecting from Sleeping Beauty than from Tarzan (pink dress, red-ish vest, boots, you know the thing). I wonder (pun intended) what happened there. I attended the very first of 6 shows so maybe it was something that they’ll fix later. 

Son of Man (Phil Collins)

Ok so, here’s the thing. This song is my weakness. I love it. I know it in two languages and I sing it in both. I have an unreasonable amount of love for this song and it was performed so well and Pilar Muerza is one of my favorites and she nailed the song so I’m happy with this. 

Frozen

Do You Want To Build A Snowman? (Robert Lopez/Kristen Anderson-Lopez)

This was sung by only little Anna and it was more heartbreaking than the movie. Only the first two bits were performed and the “hang in there, Joan” bit was so cute. Little Anna did great. 

For the First Time In Forever (Robert Lopez/Kristen Anderson-Lopez)

This one was also just Anna’s bit, and here we had face character singer Anna, with her parks attire (not the coronation one, the other one). She was a good Anna, her energy was really great and she was accompanied by an ensemble to sing with and perform with on stage. 

Let It Go (Robert Lopez/Kristen Anderson-Lopez)

Instead of moving towards Elsa’s bit on the previous song, the medley changed to Let It Go, which was performed fully. I thought this was going to bring the house down but apparently Tangled and Hercules were the favorites over Elsa in this round. There wasn’t a dress change (I have not seen a single Elsa outfit and hair in any incarnation of Frozen by Disney I have liked, not in the parks, not on Broadway, not on UOAT, not On Ice, not here either). But, this Elsa could sing. She was one of the best singers of the day and the competition was tough. I’ve seen this song performed SO MANY TIMES and very rarely I see someone nailing it 100%, this girl did. There were snow effects and light effects but the Tangled effects had already spoiled us from the best of the best. 

The Lion King

The Circle of Life (Tim Rice/Elton John)

This was one of the favorites of the audience, hands down. It was a blend between the Broadway version, with some of the costumes, puppets and stilt performers, and halfway kid-friendly, with some more noticeable animal costumes, which were also very nice. There was a huge ensemble for this one, a kid chorus, the stage elevated again and a row of animals entered from the hallway and onto the stage. This was a huge performance. 

Finale

Fantasmic (Bruce Healey)

Am I the only one who cries when she hears the Fantasmic song? I cannot deal, I don’t know what is. Is it the idea that imagination defeats pain and sorrow? Is it that it brings you to a magical place where good is always stronger than evil? Is it Mickey? I don’t know, but Fantasmic, guys. In this one, the fab 5 were on stage all together, Pluto entered first, then Goofy, then Donald (who was the best, as usual), and then Minnie (who made a pirouette, in those shoes) and Mickey, who said goodbye and thanked the audience. Some of the face characters who had performed came in for a last bow and both Minnie and Mickey brought the conductor to the front of the stage and people clapped and gave a standing ovation. 

And that’s all, my experience crying my eyes out in a Disney symphonic concert. I missed having The Litter Mermaid and Snow White featured, but that’s ok. If anything, I wanted to keep this all in my blog for safekeeping, now that it’s fresh in my memories, because it was an amazing experience I want to keep forever. Also, Mickey told us to never give up on our dreams in the end and that also made me cry. 

[adelha-mathilde]

"WHOAAAA!!!!! SO MANY CATS!!!!"

The home of Adelha was a pristine manor house. With several big Persian cats basking in the sunlight on the front porch. A little cat den shelter set up on said front porch to hide a litter of kittens within. Adelha chuckling to place a hand on Kouta's shoulder as he marveled over the felines. "There are just as many puppies here in the backyard. My family has been rather busy these past few weeks when the animal shelter rescued these cats from a farm that went bankrupt earlier this month. Fortunately, we have the room in our home and our hearts to let them stay for a while."

It would be at this point a grey kitten comes scampering out from the opening front door. A man with white hair standing at the door as the grey kitten runs right up to Adelha mewing with excitement. So Adelha kneels down to pick the kitten up and give the little fluff ball a kiss on the head. "Hello, Aqua. Kouta. This little princess is Aqua. She adopted me and is the princess of our household."

Adelha holds the kitten out for Kouta to pet. While the white haired man walks out to meet Kou and extend his hand. "Glad to see you all made it here safely. Welcome to you. I am Eugene Xavier Currier. It's a pleasure to have you as guests to this home. Just mind your feet since there are so many pets about."

[eugeneplotkin]

Eugene Plotkin Shares His Favorite NYC Jazz Clubs

Nina Simone once said: “Jazz is not just music; it’s a way of life, a way of being, a way of thinking… the new inventive phrases we make up to describe things — all that to me is jazz just as much as the music we play.”  Indeed a candlelit table, an orange peel resting on the rim of your freshly made sidecar, and the tremble of a trombone resounding off exposed brick has all the makings of a perfect date, a night out with pals, or a solo night as a lounge lizard. Jazz clubs the world over have also long been the sites of legendary business wheelings and dealings. From The Spotted Cat in New Orleans to Tramjazz in Rome, an inspiring evening with the soulful mood of classical or contemporary jazz is the perfect setting for wooing clients and investors. You can almost feel the history being made over a song and a cocktail.

No one knows more about tunes and tech than CEO and jazz lover Eugene Plotkin. Plotkin is a lifelong fintech enthusiast whose obsession took him from investment banking at Goldman Sachs to launching his startup focused on financial literacy, TechWallet. TechWallet is revolutionizing people’s relationship to personal finance and making technological tools easier to understand than ever. Plotkin’s enjoying life as a CEO: It allows him to fuse his passions and exercise more creative freedom. It also involves a lot of building relationships and meeting with investors. This fintech juggernaut and jazz connoisseur is generously willing to share his top five favorite jazz clubs in (where else?) New York City.

The Legend

Minton’s Playhouse (Harlem)

“I would have to start with Minton's Playhouse,” Plotkin begins, “a classic and one of my go-to places to take a potential investor, especially a fellow music history buff.” Minton's is an important cultural institution in Harlem, known as the birthplace of bebop and modern jazz. It was founded by saxophonist Henry Minton, has hosted greats like Thelonious Monk and Charlie Parker throughout its storied past, and now has regular Jam Thursdaze and other lively events. “I recommend first having dinner at the Cecil Steakhouse, which is also in the Cecil Hotel, and then going down for some drinks and music afterward. It feels like you’re Don Draper in the 1950s,” Plotkin says with a laugh. “I would have loved to have seen John Coltrane here but I’ll settle for current greats like Denise King. Everyone loves the energy at Minton’s; it’s never a miss. In fact, I’d say it’s required viewing.”

New Tricks

The Django at the Roxy Hotel (Soho)

If you’re looking for a chic, contemporary venue that feels simultaneously vintage and fresh, Plotkin humbly suggests you consider The Django under the Roxy Hotel. “What’s special about Django,” he muses, “is the unique space as well as the music.” The brick interior, high, vaulted ceilings, and red curtains will make your guest feel like they’ve stepped into 1930s Paris. “I took an investor there who said it was one of the most special performances he’d seen in New York, period,” Plotkin shares. They host contemporary acts, as well as big ones like the Grammy-nominated Mingus Big Band, who celebrate and channel the music of legendary jazz musician Charles Mingus. Just don’t forget to reserve your seat! “I’ve made that mistake before, and trust me it’s more fun to get in and see your investor’s face light up with the music than miss out on a deal and a great night,” cautions Plotkin.

Daytime Haunt

Jazz at Kitano (Midtown)

If your looking for an earlier start to your night, a 7 p.m. lounge reservation is probably not the best option, but don’t worry. Plotkin recommends Jazz at Kitano in the famous Kitano Hotel. You can impress your guest with an elegant brunch at this slightly more casual spot (which also serves dinner). In addition to bloody marys and mimosas, they have both traditional and modern jazz, like Tony Middleton. “It’s a little more fusion, and you can sit close to the musicians and really see what they’re doing,” Plotkin explains, adding, “Kitano is also the perfect place to take an international or out-of-town investor who doesn’t spend that much time in New York. It’s right by Times Square and other more touristy Midtown areas where you can show them a good time.” You can also point clients to some excellent nearby shopping after your jazz-infused luncheon.

Uptown World

Smoke Jazz & Supper Club (Upper West Side)

Speaking of jazz clubs that are just as well known for their delicious eats, Plotkin’s next stop on his list is Smoke Jazz & Supper Club on the Upper West Side, a historic boutique venue ideal for all types of meetings and greetings. The club, which is currently closed to the public as it undergoes renovations, is known for its great music every night of the week (like the all-time sax ace George Coleman, who used to play with Herbie Hancock), Plotkin says “the food is just as amazing as the shows. They have beautiful salads and great barbecue entrees anyone will love. The atmosphere is cozy and familiar; I always feel right at home. They’re livestreaming their concert series remotely right now while they renovate, and I can’t wait to go back as soon as they reopen.”

Fun and Games

Cellar Dog (West Village)

Finally, if your potential new investor is a fan of great jazz and great games, Cellar Dog (formerly known as Fat Cat) is your spot. Plotkin says it “has lots of pool tables, table tennis, and board games. It’s a little bit more dark and divey, but for an investor who’s looking for some fun activity, or if you’re going with a group, it’s perfect.” Don’t be fooled, though; it’s not all games. Plotkin insists the live musical acts are top notch, and “it’s not just jazz; they also play Latin and rock, but it’s all excellent. I saw the jazz saxophonist Nick Biello and his quartet there. They constantly have really good newer groups like that. Just a ton of fun.” 

Whether you’re a jazz lover or just looking for a great time, trying to land your first deal or catching up with a longtime partner, these classic and contemporary haunts are sure to help you impress and entertain. Who knows, maybe the inventive spirit of jazz will give you your next big idea.

[thotyssey]

Friday (8.17.2018)

UPTOWN

TRIAD: Dorothy Bishop: Dozen Divas (9:30pm)

ALIBI: Fetish Night (10pm)

CASTRO: Dance party & gogos (10pm)

SUITE: Brenda Dharling & Pattaya Hart  (midnight)

HELL’S KITCHEN

POSH: DJ dance party (6pm)

BEECHMAN: Anita Procedure: Adult Performer (7pm);  Distorted Diznee starring Pixie Aventura, Brenda Dharling, Bootsie LeFaris & Pattaya Hart (10pm)

HARDWARE: MoMo Shade, Kandy Muse & Janelle No. 5 (7pm);  DJ Mike Borowski with Bootsie LeFaris (11pm)

COPACABANA: IGNITE FlameCon Kick-Off party (9pm)

DON’T TELL MAMA: Cacophony Daniels & Sutton Lee Seymour: Bedraggled Broadway  *FINALE* (9:30pm)

RITZ: Maddelynn Hatter hosts OPEN CALL drag competition (9:30pm); DJs Mitch Ferrino & Eugene Edo (11pm)

THERAPY: DJ AJ Sanchez (10pm)

RISE: dance party (10pm)

VSBU: DJ 2Face & Chaka Khanvict (10pm)

ATLAS SOCIAL CLUB: FREAKITON Latin party (10pm) 

BOXERS HK: MISTER NOIR urban dance party (11pm)

EAST SIDE

LIPS: “Glitz & Glamour” with Ariel Sinclair & company (5pm); “The Dirty Show” with Ariel Sinclair & company (11:30pm) 

UNCLE CHARLIE’S: live piano (8pm)

TOWNHOUSE: Go-Go Boys (9pm)

ER BAR: FI3RE FRIDAY (10pm)

CHELSEA

EAGLE NYC: “A Man For All Seasons” Eagle calendar release party & benefit (7pm);  ROCK & ROLL FRIDAYS (10pm)

MUSEUM OF SEX: TROPICUNT (10pm)

BOXERS CHELSEA: CATCH FRIDAYS (10pm) 

REBAR: DJ Frankie Sharp’s BOYS (10pm)

DEWEYS: Eventbrice Black Pride urban party (11pm)

MCKITTRICK HOTEL: Bartschland Follies (midnight)

WEST VILLAGE

LE POISSON ROUGE: Bingo iwith Linda Simpson (7pm) 

ROCKBAR: Viva Vidalia, Lilith LeFae & Catrina Lovelace or TBA (7pm);  SOAKED wet underwear party (10pm)

PIECES: Yuhua Hamasaki   Sapphira Cristal (8:30pm);  Ruby Roo & Brita Filter (11:30pm) 

STONEWALL: Lesbo-A-Gogo upstairs (10pm);  Jackie Dupree   downstairs (11pm) 

MONSTER: SPUNK with DJ Nesto & Harmonica Sunbeam (10pm)

HENRIETTA HUDSON: DJs BKLN Storm & Avg Jo (11pm)

EAST VILLAGE

CLUB CUMMING: Daphne Always (7pm);   Zeta Jones with DJs Tommy Sunshine & JCLEF plus Vinny Vega (10pm)

LADY STARDUST: DJ Jen Urban (10pm)

THE COCK: DJs Sammy Jo, Chris Flynn, Ernie & Nashom (11pm) 

NOWHERE: CHUNK bear party (10pm)

PHOENIX: DJ P_A_T (10pm)

BROOKLYN

BIZARRE: HOT FACE burlesque feat. Divina GranSparkle with:Sweet Lorraine, Ellipsis, Thee Suburbia, Vigor Mortis & more (9pm);   “Pull Up To My BUmper” Grace Jones party feat.Thee Suburbia with Nicky Ottav, Sir Charles, Michelle Wynters & more (11pm)

ROSEMONT: Glace Chase (7:30pm);    DJs Ickarus & Hannah Lou with guest DJ Riff Raff (10pm)

3 DOLLAR BILL / SUTHERLAND: DJs Robbie Leslie & Tad Haes (10pm)

METROPOLITAN: Charlene with DJs Sparber and DiCap (10pm)

CONEY ISLAND USA: CARNAL burlesque feat. Storm with Munroe Lilly, Johnny Panic & more (10pm)

CLUB XSTASY: Aaliyah Martinez with DJ Eddie Cruz (10pm)

C’MON EVERYBODY: Madonna party feat. DJs Sean McMahill & Bright Light Bright Light with Mini Horrorwitz and Candy Sterling (11pm)

MACRI PARK: Misty Meaner & Mocha Lite (11pm) 

DEEP END: TBA

QUEENS

CLUB EVOLUTION: Victoria Chase’s karaoke (8pm);  GIA Latina lesbian party in Cantina side bar (11pm); Latin hip hop dance (midnight)

ALBATROSS: Karaoke (9:30pm)

FRIENDS TAVERN: MACHOS fetish party (10pm)

ICON: JanSport  (11pm)

FIRE ISLAND

BLUE WHALE: LOW TEA (4-8pm) 

CHERRY’S ON THE BAY: Smarty Pantz Trivia (4pm);  Elektra Scarlet Skye (9pm);   Karaoke with Tammy Spanx (10pm);    Tina Burner with Jada Valenciaga &  Holly Box-Springs (midnight)

PINES WHYTE HALL: SPRAY VIP Dinner (7pm)

ICE PALACE: Holly Dae (9pm);  DWorld underwear patty (11pm)

PINES PAVILION: Roxy Brooks with Egypt & Skyla Versai (10pm) 

SIP-N-TWIRL: dance party (11pm)

WESTCHESTER

VINTAGE BAR: Boyish Charm with Rhoda Rollins Stone, Gigi Cutina, Sierra Leone & Amber Guessa (8pm)

NEW JERSEY

FM: “Fringe Fest Equality Rocks Music Spectacular“ feat. Bella Noche, Corey TuT, Lady Clover Honey, The Debbie-Donnas, DJ Chauncey Dandridge & more (9pm)

GEORGIE’S: DJ Stanley Stylez (9pm)

LANDMARK AMERICANA: Astala Vista with Vinchelle, Jenna Tall & more (10pm)

PARADISE: Honey Davenport with FiFi DuBois & Kizha Carr (11pm)

FEATHERS: CoCo De'Ball (11pm)

Full List Here