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#haha this is not meant to be sad or anything because it's not as if im doubting myself per se
hxlcyon · 1 year
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college.........
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kadoodles-on-ao3 · 2 years
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It seems like you have a vendetta against Shulk/Fiora. Like, not just disliking it and preferring Shulkelia but straight up hate the canon ship of the game. Why?
Thank you for asking this! It's an interesting question and I have a quite a bit to say about it (as usual with me aha). So I'll put the details under the cut, but yes, I personally do not like any aspect of the canon relationship/writing of it at all (although I don't go into that here since I talked about much more than I expected lol, if you're curious specifically about what my opinions are on the dialogue/choices in the game regarding Shiora feel free to send me another ask!). Also if you've read my fanfics (genuinely not trying to plug my work haha I swear) and see how I write Fiora and her friendship with Shulk, and especially the fic where I write from her pov for the whole thing, you can see I don't hate her and try to be respectful to her creators and fans! Anyway, for a TL;DR:
Aside from my personal history (which also is part of why I like Shulkelia as much as I do) causing the way Fiora's attraction to Shulk is written to not come off very well to me, and even ignoring what I've seen on the Internet about how people react to these ships and those who like or dislike them, it's just A Thing About Life that there will be parts of media you really like and parts of the same media you really don't, and that's what makes art engaging and impactful and personal and fun to talk about! I'm just someone who always has a lot to say about anything, so don't take my diatribes as anything more than me being passionate about analyzing stuff haha. I still love Xenoblade 1 with all my heart, and me not liking parts of the series such as Xenoblade 2 (very much) or Shiora (at all) doesn't affect how much I enjoy what I do like! It's just another fun facet to delve into for me, whether it's a thing I like or a thing I dislike.
And when all you see and know of me is from a blog that's specifically just for talking about a small facet of one piece of media, I can come off as more melodramatic about my liking of Shulkelia and disliking of Shiora since I don't talk too much about the rest of Xenoblade as a whole, nor anything else for that matter, on here. I promise I don't truly care that much about this fictional love triangle in my day-to-day life, and I'm sorry if I came off as rude about it! If you like their relationship then... I do want to say more power to you, and count this as me having said so, but also I don't feel like I need to because, as you said, it is canon so the Xenoblade devs have been (and probably will be!) providing plenty of enjoyment for you, and so no one should care what a silly singular stranger like me thinks at the end of the day haha.
But if you do, then here's what I have to say:
First off, I just enjoy really thoroughly dissecting everything I like, as well as dislike (as you will soon see!). I like delving into details and analyzing stuff, and sometimes that passion can be a little too obsessive, which can come off as me being passionate in my hatred of The Thing rather than passionate about analyzing why I hate The Thing (which is what's really going on). So it's important to me to say that when I talk about anything I dislike in depth like this, it's not ever meant to be hating on or attacking people who do like it! I just really find it fun to put things under a microscope, both when I really like them and really dislike them, because I enjoy discovering what, specifically, about them makes me feel that way.
I also think it's important to repeat that point about how this blog is both 1) meant to be near-exclusively about Shulkelia and 2) the posts I make here are pretty much my entire online footprint (outside of my fanfic account which is p much about the same topic aha), and as such these are the only things that strangers have to form an opinion about me (much like the common criticism brought up about parasocial relationships). When I log on to this blog I'm here to talk about my Xenoblade OTP or things related to it, and so that's all you see of/know about me. And even though the reason I made this blog is because of how much I like it (I'm kind of obsessive about the things I'm really passionate about, I've been that way my whole life, so that certainly doesn't help either haha), there are things I may like equally or even more, but because they aren't what this blog is for I don't mention them, and so anyone who doesn't know me won't know about them unless I talk about them. When you only see the fraction of me that I'm willing to share, then of course it'll seem like that fraction is the whole me if you never get to see the other 99%.
So much in the same way that I can seem super obsessed about Shulkelia (which, to be fair, I do get that way some days haha) it can seem like I really really hate Shiora too, since the only time I'm going to talk about it is on a blog that's dedicated to a different ship, and since I'm not really a multishipper nor do I enjoy the writing of it in canon, I won't ever have much nice to say about it. And because it's a canon ship that most people seem to enjoy, it's going to come up from time to time on art that either has Fiora/the love triangle involved or in the comments I see on it, and since I have something to say about it I do. Although I do genuinely not like it at all, I try to do it in a way where it's clear I'm not hating on people who enjoy it, either by trying to hammer home that it's just my personal opinion about it, or being super hyperbolic about disliking it in an attempt at humor. But tone and meaning can get lost from brain to text and I'm surely not the best at wording things sometimes, so I don't blame anyone for getting the wrong impression, and if that's happened I do apologize!
For example, if this blog was instead about my love of Mexican food (which is true!) and was meant for being a catalogue of recipes I come across, I'd probably talk in the tags pretty often about how I lament that so many recipes have cilantro in them because I have the weird cilantro-tastes-like-soap gene and so it tastes awful to me (which is also true!). When this happens over and over again on so many recipes that have cilantro, and when this repetition is all you ever get to see about me, it would probably seem like I have a burning hatred for cilantro, when in reality I barely think about it at all, and if something I want to eat has it I'll just politely ask for no cilantro or silently pick it off. I do think the weird gene is interesting, and I have a fun story about how I found out I have it which I enjoy telling, but I'm also just fine eating my food if no one wants to talk about it.
But that comparison isn't perfect, because there's a lot more going on in interpersonal relationships (fictional or not) and why people enjoy them or not. So let's get into that!
I did mention there were personal reasons why I feel the way I do, and to the extent I do, about these pairings, so it's only fair to explain what that's about. All throughout my life up until college I never had anyone show any romantic interest in me, even in high school, while in contrast all my friends as well as my sister had been in multiple relationships, so I felt rather lonely and figured there was something wrong with me if no one would want to date me haha. But I did of course have crushes of my own (that because of the aforementioned thought I had that I was unlikable I never acted on) and one of them was on a mutual friend that my best friend at the time also knew, as well as knew that I liked him. And all of a sudden one day they were going out and being affectionate all the time, including right in front of me even though my friend knew I liked him. That plus my loneliness from before obviously hurt really bad and made me pretty upset for a while haha.
Then on top of that later that year I would connect with someone like I never had before in my life and he "felt the same way", the very first person to ever tell me they liked me and I believed it. I honestly do still think he did like me... yet he would go on to get into a relationship with someone else and all the while repeatedly promise me that I was special to him and that she didn't get him like I did and he'd leave her for me but of course we can still have our deep talks about his personal problems and blah blah blah. There's a lot more to it than that but I'll cut it short and just say this happened for literally every single day for an entire year of my life, and it really deeply affected me for a long time, though I'm fine now of course. Well, it did change me as a human being, but you know what I mean haha. I don't say this to elicit pity (really, don't, I promise I'm fine) but to give you some puzzle pieces to help figure out the mystery of why I dislike Shiora.
So I'm sure you can see the parallels from my life to what Melia goes through, and that's precisely the mechanism that everyone uses to relate to and love fictional characters: they deal with horrible stuff that we can connect back to horrible stuff we've been through, and we empathize with them. That's one reason why so many people love Shulk (including me!), and Melia, and countless other characters. That's kind of what they're here for: to relate to. He just like me for real and all that. So, in the same way my life experiences make me relate so much to Melia, I can also relate those who I liked but never could be with to Shulk and relate their girlfriends to Fiora. And knowing how those real-life relationships ended up and why they didn't work out, I can really see parallels to how Fiora and Shulk's relationship is written, at least with the vibe I got from it on first and second impression. Therefore I both dislike it for personal reasons and the information those reasons gave me about good and bad relationships.
On a lighter note though, there's another aspect to the whole we-like-characters-we-identify-with thing with regards to shipping: I really do think the ships we like (if any) are based on and a reflection of ourselves and what we want in a partner (should we want to have one). Or in simpler terms, our OTPs are often made up of a character we can self-insert as and a character we would marry if they were real haha. And I don't mean that in a bad way at all! It's fun to make up fake scenarios with fake characters that you want to kiss, even when you're not writing direct-self-insert or xReader stuff (which I also don't bash)! I'm certainly guilty of this myself, even as much as I try to write them true to their character, relating so much to Melia and finding a lot about Shulk attractive for reasons that Melia also does means I'm just like everyone else haha. But on the other side of the coin, the fact that I cannot relate to Fiora in so many ways as well as do not vibe with how she treats her attraction to Shulk means I can't really enjoy the thought of them as a couple.
But outside of talking about the canon for just a second more, I think there's an interesting phenomenon(? idk what to call it lol) here that is in this ask as well as many other people's vocalized opinions regarding this game's love triangle: said canon. As in, the concept that someone could like Xenoblade 1 overall but dislike the canon relationship either confuses and/or upsets some people. Which is strange to me on its own, like do these people also get confused and/or mad when someone says they love hamburgers but hate when they have pickles on them? Everyone has their own tastes, and what you like or how much of it you do is just part of being an individual. (Plus I must say it's extra odd with regards to Shulkelia, as I've never seen the same comments/reactions to ships like Meliora, Shulk/Reyn, Shalvis, Dunban/Melia, etc, despite the fact that they're all equally as non-canon as Shulkelia. Maybe it's because the game firmly shoots down Shulk liking Melia so hard? But it also shows how much Fiora likes Shulk, so wouldn't Meliora [which is pretty darn popular as far as Xenoblade 1 ships go, at least from my browsing] be just as "anti-canon"?).
For extra context too, there are. SO. many friendzoned/"haha Shulk doesn't like Melia" memes and jokes out there (and if these people are so concerned with canon, it's weird how often they make Shulk and/or Melia act out of character super hard to push the joke!) which don't really exist to be pro-Shiora and more just anti-Shulkelia. I even came across a guy on reddit who would post Melia fanart every day, and so many of his posts were stalked by this one dude who would write a little rant about how Melia sucks and Fiora is the best, and would really go off if the fanart showed Melia's crush on Shulk in any way. Now he was super downvoted every time but... I've never seen anyone do that for Shulkelia. And yet I have seen quite a few posts of people complaining about Shulk/Melia fans shoving their ship in their faces and how much it sucks as a ship and I'm like i have been trying for MONTHS to find a single scrap of shulkelia content yet find barely anything and what i do find has SO many comments saying they still like shiora or that they hate the art since it's not shiora literally WHO are you talking about??? Like maybe I just am unlucky and have seen literally all 20 or whatever number of instances of Shiora fans being rude that ever existed but... they still do exist. I'm not making this up, in fact I encourage you to go out and search for Xenoblade fan content regarding this love triangle and see how people react to it! That's what I did and that's how I came across all of this!
Anyway, like was there a huge ship war in the early fandom days or something??? If so why can I find no mention of it anywhere except from salty Shiora shippers/Fiora fanboys, like barely any Shulkelia art even exists and I see zero talk from the supposed pushy Shulkelia fans? They have like 30 freaking fics in existence and half of them are Melia sulking about how Fiora is being lovey dovey with Shulk and showing they actually got together after all so don't even really count as Shulkelia fics!! In my searching for Shulkelia content I come across so many comments from people who like the ship trying to downplay their enjoyment of it and placate any potential Shiora fans reading their comments with "oh but Shulk/Fiora is cute too! i still like them together! i only like Shulk/Melia in a close friends kind of way, or just to make Melia happy idc about the ship i just like seeing her smile!" so like... What reality do these other guys live in where they got bombarded with Shulkelia over and over because I wish I lived in it!!! Something's up with some Fiora fans idk. Maybe I just had back luck in my searching, but try it yourself and see. I'm not crazy or making this up, I could just have been seeing all 20 or whatever number of Shiora's rude fans but... they do exist, and I have yet to see similar behavior from Shulkelia fans.
And this isn't all just me being a lurker looking at rando's comments as well. I even have a bit of a secondhand-experience story to tell about it! (The specific timeline of the initial details might be jumbled a bit, but I do remember the gist of it and still have the DMs to confirm some of the facts!)
I used to be active on Twitter, and I followed a lot of different Xenoblade fan artists on there. One day a certain artist posted a WIP of Melia and Shulk laying next to each other on a hill where Shulk was smiling at her, and although the artist deleted it (for reasons you will soon learn about) I think they wrote the Japanese ship name of the two on the tweet for it. Either way, I do recall before the WIP was posted they tweeted about liking Shulkelia, or rather ShuMeri as the Japanese ship name is called, (although in much the same "i like Melia so i like the thought of her being happy. Shulk belongs with Fiora though! i still ship them!" please-don't-be-mad-at-me way that I have never seen a Fiora/Shiora fan do) and wanting to draw something for it. Even though this particular artist posted in Japanese, a language I don't know 99% of, I was able to get the gist of their tweets through the translation feature and my knowledge of what the characters' names are in Japanese. And despite how hard this artist tried to be nice, tried to show how much they weren't trying to be mean to Shiora fans (they even had drawn Shiora art months earlier!), they got a wave of hate directed at them from Japanese fans which I saw in real time.
And if you doubt this because the tweets are now deleted, and because even when they were up I only read them through an A.I. translation, I felt so bad for this poor artist that I DM-ed them (regrettably in English, since I didn't trust my knowledge of Japanese to not end up making me say something I didn't intend or in a rude/informal tone) to show there was at least one other person out there that enjoyed ShuMeri and was excited to see their art. And they fortunately understood my message and knew English to message me back and told me direct quotes of what was thrown at them, which I still have in my DMs and will quote:
"'You are denying the original story. It's too unsatisfying and ugly' 'It's not right to make Shulk and Melia lovers.' someone said. At other times, people have replied to my art, complaining about Melia's behavior in the story, as I tweeted the other day. I've had a lot of negative comments about ShuMeri and Melia." (With regards to the whole "complaining about Melia's behavior in the story" thing, if I recall that was from people saying she had no right to have a crush on Shulk in the first place, which... I thought you guys said canon is sacrosanct? It is canon that Melia had a crush on Shulk, and if you don't like that then you don't respect the canon/story and aren't a real fan. Do you see how silly this sounds???)
So. Tell me if you have ever seen any Melia fans or Shulkelia fans ever behave like this. Because I sure haven't. (Like even this ask [which I am not upset about nor trying to be rude to the anon at all, on the contrary I'm super enjoying talking about this topic! it's just the dichotomy here is interesting to me!) is proof to me: how many times can you say you've seen comments on Shiora art or asks sent to Xenoblade fanblogs asking why someone doesn't like Shulkelia, do you hate Shulkelia, what's wrong with Shulkelia? Like I get one is canon and the other isn't, but like... have you seen shipping culture? Literally all of the most popular ships for any given media are non-canon, that's half the fun of shipping!!!
"Don't let mean fans sour the original work" (and again, just to make sure I'm clear, I do not consider the anon who sent this ask to be mean or rude in any way! I'm referring to other randos here!) and all that, but it's kind of hard for me to like a ship when it has fans that act like this... going around projecting by accusing fans of a different ship of their own behavior, or saying things that contradict their own points about how important canon is to them. Thinking back on how we like characters we can relate to, isn't it interesting how fans of a brash, headstrong, do-what-I-want-and-fuck-the-consequences character who gets everything she wants in canon act in a pushy or even rude way to fans of a reserved, self-reproaching, I-will-do-what-is-best-for-others-first character who has so much taken away from her, and the latter fans always defer to the former and feel guilty when they talk about liking their character even as they do so much to be nice to them? It's pretty interesting I think, it's like when dogs look like their owners or something haha.
To end this off, since even though I have more to say (which if you would like to hear please let me know!) I've talked for far too long now haha, I really want to post the rest of the DM that the artist I talked to (who to this day hasn't made another Shulkelia/Shulkelia-esque fanart again, and interestingly never gets hate on their Shalvis art which is again a non-canon "story-denying" ship, too. Maybe they just blocked the rude people and if so good for them, but it's interesting still that they haven't draw Shulkelia since):
"I think it's useless to argue about who is better, Fiora or Melia, and I don't want them to get me involved in that fight. However, I received words of encouragement from many kind followers like you. I now understand important things; 'Don't worry about mean people' and 'Draw what I like.' Fan art should be free, shouldn't it? If I draw ShuMeri, some mean people might appear again. But there are many more kind people like you. When I think of that, I'm not afraid anymore. I will try to draw ShuMeri one day. Maybe I'll get depressed again because of mean people, but then you can tell me, 'You draw fanart freely, right!'... Please tell me that. You made me feel better and made me cry with happiness. Thank you so much. :)"
-Mirim, who can be found here currently, and their old account where the drama happened is here. This is the piece of artwork they got so much hate for. Shulk and Melia aren't even touching in it and Mirim didn't even mention their ship name.
#ask#please support mirim they're a very skilled and underrated artist!!#anyway every time i get an ask i get so excited haha i really like talking to people about things i/we like#(well if i got a mean/''kys'' ask i wouldn't be excited but you get what i mean haha)#and to be clear i do not think this ask was hostile at all! and even if it was meant to be... so what?#i enjoyed answering it and i hope what i had to say was interesting and satisfied the anon's curiosity#also i *do* want to talk about other things in xenoblade i like because there's **so** much i have to say#like if you could see the size of my notes section in my voice line doc you would know. you would KNOW how much i like basically#every single thing about this game haha. probably too much. it's over 700 lines of text long#i just don't feel like there's an audience most of the time for me and it feels a little sad talking into the void haha#hence my enjoyment of getting asks of any kind!#so if anyone has any questions for me about literally anything at all please send me an ask!#in return i will write you a thesis paper about your question free of charge as you can see here lol#i really hope i didn't come off as mean or bitter here it's just there's a huge dichotomy going on with shulkelia from what i've seen#as i mentioned if it's about canonicity why don't shalvis and meliora get hate? i've literally never seen a single mean comment about them#unprompted on a random one-off comment or directly on fanworks of it#maybe it's more about melia than shulkelia since there's also a lot of hate towards her that i've seen too#in a ''ew melia fans are so conceited thinking she's the best-written character and fiora is shallow'' and it's like#congratulations! you have just encountered a ''different opinion''! perhaps they like melia because they think she is well-written and#not to spite you in particular! maybe they think fiora is shallow bc a lot of her character objectively revolves around her crush on shulk!#and it's okay to not like it! it's also okay to like it! this is what art is about: having your own thoughts on it!#it is fun to share these thoughts and i enjoy it! but i do not enjoy when people are mean to others because they like#Fake Person/Relationship A but other people like Fake Person/Relationship B! it's silly to get super mad about it and it's rude to be mean!
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wakebymoonsleepbysun · 8 months
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Dogday!! Trying to figure out a way to send a Y/N in there to help him.
Rambles under the cut.
(I drew my sona in these cuz self-indulgent, but if I ever write anything it'll be a reader insert with little to no canon design.)
Design notes: Took some elements from his game model as well as his cartoon design. I think when we see him, he is emaciated and/or stretched out, the way CatNap is said to be able to stretch. Don't know if that's an ability all Smiling Critters have though. For now I'm saying it is SOMEWHAT but CatNap is the better at it by MILES. In any case, that's why he's not quite as lanky as he is in game, and is also a bit shorter.
I also he can be bipedal or quadrupedal, much like CatNap seems to be able to switch back and forth. A bit more animalistic than his cartoon counterpart, but part of that is just him not wanting to tower over the children and employees all the time, so drops down to all fours quite a bit.
The fur texture on his ears in the game cave him a floofy cocker spaniel look so I went with that instead of the less floofy ears he has in the cartoon and his original plushie.
The white pupils being absent when we see him I believe is a sign of how weak he is. When healthy, all the Bigger Bodies Smiling Critters have them, much like CatNap does.
Trying to actually keep his huge open-mouth smile at all times, unlike with my FNAF stuff where I give them more of an ability to emote. That said trying to get him to look angry or sad was a challenge. Sad I think worked okay but the one where I meant him to look angry he looks more cocky or smirky than mad. Tender moments are a bit harder too, as keeping that huge grin with more tender eyes results in him looking either drunk or horney or just like he's not taking the moment very seriously, haha.
And the story? Not sure yet, bouncing around a few ideas, though I don't think I'll have the reader and the player be the same person. Reader might be someone who came up in PlayCare alongside Dogday. Perhaps they knew each other as kids when Dogday was still human. Haven't decided how much of this Dogday remembers or at what point the reader realizes Dogday is their old friend who got "adopted".
Reader grows up the Playcare and is given a job once they're an adult. (Something something starting the brainwashing and normalization of bullshit early to make employees who are more willing to look the other way?)
Dogday somehow kept them hidden during the Hour of Joy and the reader's been living in the caves ever since. (The caves open up so much possibility for people being hidden in the factory. Much easier to say there's an unknown offshoot of a natural cave system than an unknown part of the factory.)
How are they staying fed? Uhhhh...cave mushrooms? Trips to the surface? Moss? Stale vending machine candy? I don't know yet.
Not sure how to pull a happy ending out of this horror but I'm trying. Maybe the reader convinces Dogday to leave after Ch 3 because he'd be too weak to help anyway or something? And uh...I'm just gonna pretend since he's kinda a plushie he can be sewn back together even though I'm PRETTY SURE canonically the inclusion of blood and guts makes that...not a thing.
Just remember guys...all winds blow away...eventually.
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miumura · 3 months
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IN ANOTHER LIFE, YOU’D BE THE ONE.
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assigning enhypen sad tropes / endings
PAIRING enhypen x gn!reader GENRE angst, some fluff? WARNINGS some r not portrayed in a good light (bc of the trope ideas) WORD COUNT varies from 0.3-0.7K+ per
DISCLAIMER these are just random tropes that i think suits them, however, this is not a true depiction of how enhypen truly acts in real life. this is simply just fictional.
‘ 💬 ’ hanniluvi cb? HAHA sorry for disappearing on you guys, but i just finished finals & school is ending soon !!! so yk what that means 😊! slowly making my way back 2 writing 🫡 this was def made randomly and somehow i was committed to it so here you guys go!!
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HEESEUNG — HE FAILED THE SECOND TIME.
i don’t really have an explanation to this, i just think he suits this kind of trope? like he truly loves you to the point where he’s willing to give another shot into the relationship. but when trying again, he realizes the problem but was too late to fix it once more.
You wouldn’t have expected either, but the buzz coming from your phone would be a text message from Heeseung. Shock and adrenaline rushed within your body as he was the first to break the “no contact” rule after your break up.
Without a second thought, you found yourself propped up against your bed frame, texting him instead of sleeping. It was going well, until the text messages started becoming more flirtatious.
Even so, it felt different. It felt like you two were finally ready to try again. When he arrived at your doorstep with flowers and a sign asking, "CAN I BE YOUR BOYFRIEND?", you found no reason to decline.
Texts? He sent you thoughtful good morning and good night messages regularly.
Dates? He always paid attention to your preferences, leading to more spontaneous dates than anticipated.
Gifts? He surprised you with "just because" gifts, often accompanied by adorable notes.
Perhaps it seemed too perfect, but you were too in love to see any warning signs. His initial initiative in reaching out first felt like destiny. However, those blissful three to four months soon dissolved into nothing.
Texts? His responses come much later, and those sweet good morning and good night messages? Few and far between.
Dates? You're the one initiating them, and they lack the genuine spark they once had.
Gifts? It's only you who's putting in the effort, mirroring the gestures he used to make.
You've noticed he's slipping back into old patterns. Heeseung is consumed by his own schedule, neglecting those around him. Attempts to communicate often circle back to his work, leaving no room to discuss your relationship. He's too drained to prioritize you.
Perhaps you shouldn't have expected more or less, considering you already gave him another chance before.
You tried waiting, but with each passing day, you only disappointed yourself further.
So you gradually stopped texting, stopped putting in effort, stopped caring. And what came of it? Nothing.
Nothing until he randomly resurfaced with texts again.
People never change.
This time, without the previous excitement and nerves, you found yourself indifferent to even bother replying. Maybe your silence would speak volumes, considering he's accustomed to the silence he often gives you.
Maybe, you shouldn't have replied in the first place.
JAY — YOU FELL OUT OF LOVE, HE LOVED TOO HARD.
honestly, i see jay as a person who would absolutely do everything and anything for anyone. like this man would have no problem doing anything if it was meant to help anyone he loved. he just gives off the energy / whole idea of “so much love to give, gets not much in return.”
Since you started dating Jay, this guy has been nothing short of perfect to you. He constantly surprises you with flowers, insists on carrying everything for you, and showers you with compliments at every opportunity.
On the surface, it all seemed too good to be true. Despite having what many would consider the "perfect" boyfriend, you found yourself drifting away. Feelings slowly waned, and you began to distance yourself from the person who loved you the most.
Initially, you might not have noticed, but he did. As you began to give him less attention, show less reaction to his gestures, and the love in your eyes faded upon seeing him, he observed it all.
He witnessed you transform into someone unrecognizable. He recognized the signs of change, and perhaps he should have let go then. Yet, there remained a part of him that was reluctant to give up, still holding onto hope and the desire to keep trying.
Despite his earnest efforts to salvage the relationship, he couldn't escape the inevitable "Let’s break up" conversation. He hadn't realized how much his attempts to reignite your love were taking a toll on him until you made the decision to end things.
For months, he had maintained a facade of "everything will be okay," but now, faced with the reality of losing you, he began to crumble. He had invested so much time and energy into becoming a better person for someone he loved, only to realize that he was sacrificing himself in the process.
He couldn't blame you; he never would. He understood that you were falling out of love, and perhaps he should have let go sooner. But he couldn't shake the feelings he still harbored for you, even as they led to nothing but heartache.
Getting over you won't be as simple as he had hoped. He'll likely continue to blame himself, wondering what he could have done differently to be a better boyfriend for you.
But deep down, you know he did nothing wrong. He was a wonderful partner; it's just that you had fallen out of love, and sometimes, that's nobody's fault.
JAKE — RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME.
DUDEEEEE, you can’t tell me jake gives off the vibes of a person you’d always think about. no matter how much you try to forget him, you visually can’t get him out of your head. like you truly like this guy, but because of the time/fate, it lead you guys onto separate paths. this trope sounds cliche, but it’s the best way i can word it.
Jake embodied everything you sought in a partner. From his looks to his humor, and especially his personality, he checked all the boxes. Spending time with him felt like a whirlwind; the hours flew by when it was just the two of you.
Ever since he moved in next door, you found yourself drawn to him, intrigued by his every move. What began as subtle glances evolved into friendly greetings and eventually daily hangouts.
You never knew you could be this over the heels with someone until you met him. You found yourself looking forward to his daily texts and him sending silly videos that reminded him of you. You found yourself making silly trinkets and dropping them off in his mailbox. You found yourself with a pink envelope in your hand, walking to the park to give to him.
And as always, you saw that smile that always managed to brighten up your day. Sitting next to him on the swings, as you expected to be faced with another few hours of random talk with him, you’d be suddenly hit with the news of him having to move.
You didn't want to believe it.
You hoped he was joking, but instead, you were met with a disappointed look on his face. He seemed almost ashamed that this was happening, even though you knew it wasn't his fault.
You could imagine how badly he felt, so you kept your emotions in check and simply told him you would miss him. That night, you went home with tears staining the pink envelope you had intended to give him—a letter of your confession.
You had planned to give it to him that day, but instead, you saved it for his last day.
"Here," you said, pressing your lips into a thin line as you handed him the envelope.
"What is this?" he asked, curiosity piqued.
"A letter—but don't read it now!"
"Why not? You're tempting me," Jake replied, raising an eyebrow as he held the envelope with care.
"Well, don't listen to your temptations because—hey!" Before you could finish, he had already opened it, revealing its contents.
"This is embarrassing," you mumbled into your hands, feeling the heat rise to your face. Peeking through your fingers, you saw his eyes getting watery as he chuckled at parts of your letter.
When he finished reading, Jake looked at you and extended his arms. You immediately fell into his embrace, feeling his warmth surround you. Placing a hand on the back of your head, he whispered into your ear, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" your voice cracked, fearing that your confession would lead to nothing.
"I'm sorry this had to be this way," he said, clearing his throat and fighting back tears stirred by your emotional letter. "If it wasn't obvious enough, I like you too."
You felt a mix of relief and sadness. Despite your mutual feelings, fate was pulling you in different directions.
Before you could say another word, his family was already calling him to leave. Jake gave you one last squeeze and a look filled with fondness.
"I'll try to contact you often, okay, YN?"
"Okay," you replied.
As he waved goodbye with red eyes and that beautiful smile you loved, you saw him for the last time in person, feeling the weight of the moment settle in your heart.
SUNGHOON — JUST “FAKE DATING”.
do you see the vision that i’m visioning. like i don’t know, it just works out?? like i can see you two starting to fake date, it leads to something more (at least that’s what you think), and that all disappears, repeating once more. like it seems like he means it, but at the same time, his actions seem to prove otherwise. it’s like a constant cycle that you don’t want to or know how to get out of.
"I'm telling you, I don't think you should be doing this," your friend insisted, both online and in person. "Hanging with Sunghoon is only going to hurt you."
You never anticipated how your own choices might backfire. As a good friend, you just wanted to help Park Sunghoon make someone jealous. After all, with his pleading tone, how could you possibly say no?
If only you just believe his rule, "Don't fall in love with each other," this should be easy. You just needed to play the role—that’s all you had to do.
So, it started off slowly.
You two were together all the time, which was normal for you both. But whenever his ex came around, you could feel him inching closer, invading your personal space. It wasn’t much, but it felt rather intimate...though that was the plan.
Then it escalated. Sunghoon didn’t just act like a boyfriend in person and at school; he began behaving the same way outside of school and over text.
You spent more time together, going to places, laughing as you took pictures. He started showing up at your house unannounced, and the two of you would stay up late, binge-watching your favorite shows and having those nightly talks.
He even introduced you to his friends. Would someone go to such lengths for a fake relationship?
It just didn’t feel like pretending. You felt something there, something that couldn’t be easily explained.
You tried to brush it aside, but your feelings for him only grew. You were definitely falling for his stupid, swooning charms.
You hoped he was falling for you too.
But that sliver of hope crashed down when you saw him with the very person he had wanted to chase after.
They were smiling and holding hands. He looked so...happy.
After he gave them a final hug, he turned and met your gaze, your eyes slightly glistening.
"Thank you, YN," he said, with that stupid grin on his face—the one you had fallen for. Seeing it now only made your stomach twist painfully.
“Thank you? That’s….that’s it?”
“I’m sorry?” Sunghoon gave you a confused look. “Did you expect something more?”
“I would’ve loved an explanation.”
“What?”
You pressed your lips together, but your emotions were overflowing.
“Why would you treat me like that? I mean, why would you treat me so nicely? Why would you try so hard that it made me feel like we could’ve had something…real?”
“YN…”
"Just why, Sunghoon? If you knew this was only going to be a fake relationship, why did you create something special only for it to be discarded?"
"I'm sorry, YN. I never intended my gestures to be misleading, so I never purposefully planned that. I did enjoy our time together, but I have to end whatever we had because I now have the person I will always want."
Right.
No matter how hard you try, you can't change Sunghoon's mind.
You aren’t the person he wants.
After all, that was the whole point of his plan.
Don’t fall in love with each other.
SUNOO — YOU TWO DRIFTED APART.
i feel like with sunoo, since he has such an outgoing and bubbly demeanor, it allows him to easily connect with others. so with that idea in mind, why not because of his personality and him constantly being involved in new crowds, it causes him to have no time for you. without realizing it at first, he soon forgets about his priority: you.
You can't help but feel a whirlwind of emotions: confused, overwhelmed, sad.
Sunoo is a great guy, and you know that. But his bubbly personality seems to be interfering with your relationship.
At first, you were completely fine with it. He helped you meet new people, pushed you out of your comfort zone, and, most importantly, you saw him extremely happy. That’s all you really wanted.
But lately, you've noticed that he’s been paying less attention to you. Even when it's just the two of you, he often ends up calling someone or suddenly engaging in conversations with people around you.
You always had to make the plans, and his reactions seemed less genuine compared to when he was with others. Would it be wrong to think that you don’t matter to him anymore?
You always had to initiate conversations. Always.
Just like every other day, you were on the phone with Sunoo, the silence filling the room. No one was talking, and you could probably assume he was messaging someone else while on the phone with you.
Clearing your throat, you finally spoke. “Sunoo?” You didn’t know why you were nervous; he was your boyfriend, after all.
“Yes?”
“Um…” Your throat felt like it was closing up on you. You never wanted to seem pushy or insecure because of his behavior—you just wanted to feel special again, like you did at the beginning of the relationship. It should be easy to tell someone like him, right?
“Just tell me, YN.”
“Listen…” You hesitated before continuing. “Do you even… love me anymore?”
“Seriously? What kind of question is that? Of course I love you. Do I not show you that?”
“Well… no.” You bit your lip, hoping to get the closure you needed.
“I didn’t know you felt that way. I hope you know that you’re my—oh, YN. I’m sorry, I really have to go. I promised to hang out with Jungwon today. I’ll call you back, okay? Love you.”
You heard the other line beep, leaving you feeling empty. Removing the phone from your ear and dropping it in your lap, you looked at the calendar next to you. Today's date had a large red circle with little hearts doodled around the event “OUR ANNIVERSARY.”
He was hanging out with Jungwon instead of you. He forgot it. You stared at the hearts, feeling a knot form in your stomach. This day had meant so much to you, and now it felt like just another ordinary, lonely day.
His "I love you"s always reassured you—but now? They did nothing but make you feel worse.
He really doesn’t realize how much he’s hurting you, does he?
JUNGWON — THE CLASSIC SECOND LEAD.
okay okay, hear me out. i feel like jungwon suits the idea of a person liking someone, but too afraid to actually make a move. like he would want to keep people he like closely, but he would never do anything that seemed like it would lead to a fallout or anything more. so because of this, it leads to him watching you love someone else on the sidelines.
Jungwon has always been a nervous guy, and being in love only amplified his anxiety.
After spending so much time getting to know you, he realized he was falling—deeply. And he hated how it made him feel.
He hated how he would stutter when trying to make eye contact with you.
He hated how he took extra time to fix his hair.
He hated how he felt like a nervous wreck every time he initiated a hangout outside of school and work, praying you’d have the time.
But all those things he hated would soon fade away when he was with you. He began to appreciate himself for making the effort—it felt worth it.
Any moment with you felt special to him—enough for him to lay in bed and think about it all night.
He loved how you made him feel seen and understood, something he had not felt with anyone else.
If he were to date someone, he would want it to be you.
"Isn't he so dreamy?"
Hearing those words crushed his hopes of ever making you his.
He found himself sitting across from you, listening to you talk about this new guy, feeling a knot form in his stomach.
"Are you listening, Won?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, sorry. What happened again?" He nervously chuckled, clearly not wanting to hear what was going to come out of your mouth.
"We're going on a date tomorrow!"
His heart was about to burst.
Deep down, he wished he could tell you how he truly felt, how much he cared about you, but it seemed like there would be no point.
Every word felt like a stab, yet he forced a smile. "I am so happy for you, YN."
And there was that smile—the very smile he hoped to see whenever you talked about him. But instead, that beautiful smile was for somebody else.
As you continued excitedly talking about your upcoming date, Jungwon couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness, knowing that he would always be just a friend, never the one you longed for.
Jungwon found another thing he hates about being in love.
He hates how loving someone can ultimately hurt you too.
NIKI — “TOO HARD TO LOVE”.
i can somehow see niki being apart of a trope where there is a lack of communication. like i think it would be hard to express himself properly, leading him to become closed off. like he would do tests to see how much you actually cared for him, leading to his own unsatisfaction. and yet, he still wouldn’t communicate it properly, leading to the downfall of your relationship with him.
"It doesn't seem like you care," Niki let slip out over the phone, his words not quite what he had intended to say to you.
"What do you mean?" you responded, clearly frustrated. "How can you say I don't care?"
"You haven't reached out to me."
"And what about you?"
"What?" Niki was taken aback by your abruptness.
"You never tell me anything. How am I supposed to know that you even want to be around me when all you've done is just push me away?"
The silence hung heavy between you, the weight of unspoken emotions palpable even through the phone line. Niki's mind raced, grappling with the sudden confrontation. He hadn't anticipated this turn in their conversation, nor had he realized the extent of his own actions until now.
Niki had never experienced this level of comfort and connection with anyone before.
He hadn't anticipated falling in love again—until he met you.
You possessed all the qualities he had been searching for, and being with you felt incredibly natural. So, it came as a surprise when he found himself in a relationship with you; it all seemed almost too perfect to be true.
Without even realizing, Niki was starting to become rather distant. He never intended to, but he was afraid of becoming a burden to you. The thought of investing so much time and energy into someone who might eventually leave scared him.
"I... I didn't realize," Niki stammered, his voice betraying a mix of confusion and guilt. "I didn't mean to push you away. I just... I've been dealing with some stuff lately, and I guess I haven't been handling it well."
"Then you could've told me, but you didn't. You only talked to me because I was always the one reaching out first," you finally said, your voice heavy with hurt. "So why?"
Niki felt a lump form in his throat, the weight of your words sinking in. He struggled to find the right words, the right explanation, but nothing seemed adequate.
"I don't know," he admitted softly. "Maybe I was scared."
"Scared of what?" you pressed gently.
"Just... just forget it," Niki muttered, frustration creeping into his voice. “I’m sorry.”
"Niki, I need to know that you're willing to put in the effort, to be open with me. This relationship can't work if it's one-sided."
"I just don't want to lose you," he confessed, his voice breaking slightly.
"I don't know if I can believe that."
"What?" Niki's voice was filled with surprise and hurt.
"I can't tell if you're honest with me. You've done this more than once, Niki."
"But it's true!" His voice raised higher, clearly panicked by how the situation had escalated.
"You say that, but actions speak louder than words," you replied, trying to stay calm despite the turmoil inside. "If you really don't want to lose me, you need to show it, not just say it."
Niki should've taken that as a sign to finally show what he'd been holding back. He should've explained why he had such a hard time expressing his feelings, and proved to you that you were someone he truly wanted.
But he didn't. He found himself holding back once again, repeating the very behavior you truly hated.
"Okay," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"That's... that's it?" You scoffed in disbelief. "Really?"
Niki felt a surge of panic and regret. He knew he was failing you again, but the words just wouldn't come. "I don't know what else to say," he admitted, feeling helpless.
"You could start by being honest," you replied, frustration evident. "Why is it so hard for you to open up? Why do you keep pushing me away?"
Niki hesitated, the fear of vulnerability clawing at him. "It's not that simple," he said finally. "I've never been good at this. I've always been afraid of getting too close, of being hurt again. But that's no excuse. I know I need to change."
"Then show me," you insisted. "Show me that you mean it. I need to see that you care enough to try."
Your silence was heavy, filled with both skepticism and a flicker of hope. "Call me when you're finally ready for this. I think we both need a break to think things over clearly, okay?"
Niki should have seen this coming. But instead of running away from the problem like he used to, he accepted it. "Okay."
You hung up the phone, leaving Niki alone with his thoughts. Determined, he knew he had to win you back and prove he could be different, better than he had been throughout the entire relationship.
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💬 : if it doesn’t seem obvious enough, i’m trying to get back into writing longer fics 🤫
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jinkiezzsstuff · 5 months
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Hello!!!
Can I put in a writing request??
Because I love your writing!!! 🥹
Can you do (either human alastor.. or demon alastor i love both but human alastor has a chokehold on me haha) but his partner is plus size and they are very self conscious about it
Can be smut if you like (I'm waaaay okay with that)
omg yessss i’m gonna do human alastor because he does need some attention <3 also felt this personallyyyy so i did it sooo fast 🙈 ima chunky gorl myself and with summer approaching things always get tough. i lot of what i wrote here is my own personal experience and shit so i don’t want anyone to think this is something they should feel or notice or be ashamed of! Just so you know!
warnings: SMUT 18+, gender neutral but use of clit, feral alastor, Human!alastor, kinda ooc in the way he is ravenous for reader sexually, reader doesn’t know he’s a murderer, self loathing, self hate, body worship maybe, biting breifly, alastor kinda rich or whatever for the time, insecure reader, plus size reader, body part like stomach thighs highlighted, crying, husband alastor, comfort from Al. swearing, lmk if there’s anything else! NOT PROOFREAD YALL
also i wanted to use junoisded ‘s work (on IG) but i don’t think they like things reposted unless asked and i am way to shy but go check them out their human alastor is mouthhhhh watering gawd
Closing the door behind you, you sat your bag on the table a sullen look on your face. It was particularly difficult week for you, it was getting warmer in New Orleans and when it got warm what was really meant was hot humid gross. It almost felt embarrassing at times to leave the house, the clothes companies made weren’t anything like what other people wore they were hideous, and you sweat, and just felt kind of self conscious.
Especially with Alastor. His popularity grew expeditiously over the last couple of years, with people now being able to recognize his voice all around. His popularity was a gift and a curse, a gift because you didn’t have to work through the stock market issues whereas many people your age did, and a curse because more women and men alike wanted him.
You weren’t jealous because Alastor made it pretty clear he only had eyes for you, however you couldn’t stop the comparison, you usually felt decent about yourself and your looks and Alastor made you more assured in your beliefs. But as more people would recognize him, and he’d give them that charming smile, and they’d flirt, you’d get a little jealous and insecure.
You walked into yours and Alastors shared bedroom, slipping off your shoes and looking into the mirror. You wanted to buy some nice clothing for an event you and Alastor were attending within the week, it was very hush puppy as it served contraband, however you couldn’t find anything at the market, and the tailors would be just too much to ask of Alastor.
Your lip quivered not with sadness but frustration, you just wanted to be at the same level as everybody else, without the issues, and being constantly told how to eat or use your body or dress yourself. Sitting on the bed your thighs spread out around you, stomach resting atop. Tears kept flowing pitifully as you took a moment to wrap your head around your spiraling thoughts. Taking a deep breath you wrapped your arms around your back, begining to take off the clothes that stuck to your sweaty body.
‘Loose leisure clothes.’ You chanted as you shook your trousers to your ankles and opened the drawers to your dresser. You remembered as you caught sight of one of Alastors red suit jackets, a gentleman who had commented that Alastor was far too small to lend his jacket to you on a cold night, which make you feel so bad about yourself. Slamming the drawer closed you cradled your head, this wasn’t fair, you would be ten times better with yourself if people weren’t so casually cruel.
You were okay, you were loved, but it seemed in other aspects of life people had to assure you weren’t due to how you looked. “My dear, what’re you doing all dressed down like this?” Alastors voice rang out joyfully. With a jump and a squeak your arms go to cover your body, however Alastor had already turned his back for you. “I’m so sorry sweetheart! I should’ve knocked!” Even though Alastor was being respectful, a nagging voice in the back of your head told you it was because he couldn’t stand the sight of you.
“Uhm, well you can look actually…” You muttered voice just above a whisper as you rubbed your arm. Alastors hands were on his hips, elbows pointed out head facing down, then he perked up head looking behind him. Smile present on his face his eyes shamelessly drank you up. “I couldn’t find any clothes,” You mutter your throat closing as the tears returned with the thoughts of before.
Alastors body finally turned his smile falling as he watched your from recoil away from his gaze. Stepping into the room his dress shoes clinked against the wooden floor as he approached you his arms outstretched to you. Immediately you fell into his embrace holding back the urge to cry, you wanted to be as strong as he was; smiling through no matter.
However when his hand began rubbing your back, soft words of worry falling from his lips, you lost it. Burying your face into his shoulder you cried, muttering your insecurities into him as he cradled you. “And Alastor they must think i’m a joke, you’re so small compared to me.” You cried out, pulling back to look into his chocolate eyes. Quickly he pulled a handkerchief from his vest pocket, his smile now a frown as he watched tears roll down your cheeks.
“My my, that’s the best part doudou. I love having flesh to bite, grip, squeeze,” Alastor grinned speaking through his closed teeth as he gripped your waist pulling your hips to his and you looked down hiding your face at his ridiculous nickname for you. “I feel proud to be able to feed you, my mother would be proud too, she’d absolutely love you. Worry not my dearest doe, i will have anything tailored to your need, and any crude bastard to comment on you I will hand slaughter the night of thee event, just to send a little message.” Alastor puffed his chest into you, his voice strangely dark and possessive, his eyes gleaming with pride as he kneaded your flesh beneath his fingers.
You never thought about it like that Alastor being able to properly provide for you, no; that was the fun of Alastor though he always knew how to twist things into something better than. Not to mention the idea of him being willing to commit a crime for you in the midst of a serial killer going around, that was something very special to you, strangely enough.
“Alastor you’re insane sometimes, but i love you.” You grinned finally, in turn making Alastors smile return larger then ever. Hands crawling up his chest and neck, you pulled him close and into a kiss. Your immediately Alastor gave into your tug, crashing his lips quickly onto your own roughly, his body grinding into your own as he did so, impatient to show you how much you mean to him though his psychical affections.
His hands gripped every little bit of flesh they passed, trailing up and down your body rolls and all, indulging his desire for you. You moaned lightly into his mouth when you felt the hard pressure of him pressed against your thigh. Alastor pulled away biting your lip as he did so, dragging it out. His eyes were lidded and one of his perfectly gelled curls fell forward and down touching the brim of his eyeglasses. “See how quickly you make me indecent my dear? Oh sweet doe, you make me so disgusting.” Alastor whined in a way, which you’d never heard, and stuffed his head into your neck, kissing, biting and sucking at your warm neck
“Alastor i’m sweaty!” You squeal as he dragged his tongue up your neck, biting at the flesh under you chin. “I know,” He mumbled quickly barely breaking away from decorating your neck. “So stop!” You huffed noncommittally as your hands came down to rest on his shoulders, lightly pushing him. “Why my little doe, you taste better this way.”
Alastor pulled back his coy smile on display as he did so, there was something so disbelieved and feral about how he looked despite not being unkept in the slightest. You felt slightly embarrassed by him admitting he liked you sweaty, but it was also comforting knowing that things you thought made you repulsive, actually attracted him.
“Come to bed with me, chérie?” Alastor hummed slyly, pulling your wrists gently toward the direction of the bed, where he was walking. “To sleep?” You asked flatly eyebrow raised, this caused a genuine laugh to bubble out of Alastors chest his head shaking just a bit. “No, and i think you knew that.” He whispered as he tugged you into him and then down onto the bed. You tensed as he did so, sitting up on your elbows you look at him and scold him.
You paused as Alastors gaze beat down on you hotly, it was sinful how he was looking at you with that cheshire grin on his face. He pulled off his glove with his teeth and used his degloved hand to remove the other one before he undid his vest, chucking it aside carelessly. You took a deep breath your heart beating rapidly in your chest as you watched him closely.
Yes you’ve had sex with Alastor before, although neither of you had a high libido so it wasn’t often, and when it was it wasn’t needy like now, no, it was loving, passionate. Alastor tossed his shirt aside crawling ontop of you right after, groaning as he pressed his bulged into the warmth of your thighs. Whimpering you covered your eyes unable to face the lustful look he was giving you.
His warm flesh melted into yours as he lowered himself ontop of you, his skin hot and sticky from being out in the louisiana heat, his breath tickled your skin as his lips dragged around your neck teasingly. “Gosh Al, I - you’re making me feel so- please.” You moaned quietly unable to place the feeling coursing through you. A mixture of wanting to beg him to devour you and wanting to hide yourself away from his heated gestures.
“What is is it you need, my dear?” His voice was sweet like honey as he breathed his sin into your ear, hand coming up under the leg hole of your undergarments, inching closer to your core. You breath was quievered as your hands found there way to his slightly musicled biceps, sinking your nails into them. Finally he backed up on his knees, and yanked down your undergarments, making you gasp.
Your husband has never been this, it made you dizzy and confused, why has he been hiding such ravenousness from you? Alastor looked down at you with pity, your legs reflexively closed before he could get a glimpse of your pretty. “Please darling don’t be modest, I need you more then ever now. I’m a starved man don’t you know? I need your quench.” You watched him as he spoke, his eyebrows knitted his face soft as he mockingly pleaded with you while he undid the button in his slacks and soon pulled down the zipper.
With jagged breaths you watched him disrobe, pulling his cock from his boxers and stroking it for you to see. Precum dripped from the tip and down his shaft, mixing into the dark coiled public hair at the base. “Oh fuck Alastor,” You whined looking away, you heard him chuckle at an octave you’ve never heard before. “What’s wrong darling? Can’t stand to see how perverse you make me? How cruel, honestly.” He huffed before his warm hands came to grip on your knees, yanking them apart. “My dear, you’re absolutely devine, you have no idea. It’s sickeningly cruel on my part, but I can’t help but be greedy about the way I only get to have you. In a world of commons, i get the rare.” Alastors hips slotted in between your thighs like many times before but this time you were so soaked you needed no foreplay. The head of his shaft prodded at your entrance, making your hips tilt forward attempting to gain friction and contact.
“Please Al, don’t make me beg you.” You moaned quietly, ashamed of how quickly you bent to his will. Alastor grinned down at you, admiring your body relaxed and needy beneath him. There wasn’t a soul he’d replace you for, you were everything and more. He could come clean about his murders and you’d kiss his cheek and serve him some whisky for his stress, because you were family, you were his.
Alastor slid into you slowly, feeling every inch of you against him, his thighs pressed against your own, he loved the feeling of you consuming him all at once. The way your body embraced his own was heaven on earth, you were his comfort that he didn’t deserved. As he watched you beneath him gasp, shake and moan as he sunk into slowly, harshly and repeatedly, he whispered sweet nothings to you. He let out a condescending chuckle while calling you a good pet, told you your body was his to love too and for shame for berating it.
You saw stars and he would slowly pull out and slam back in, believing that was the extent of this session. However, Alastor pressed his hips fully up against your own, kneading the softness of your belly as he stilled. Leaning down he captured you in a kiss, catching you off guard. You reciprocated fisting his curly hair and pulling him closer, which in response made him growl and grunt into you. He felt you clench around him at the sound, and in the moment decided he’d show you how good you make him feel, how much he loves you.
Suddenly Alastor pulled his hips back, and grinded back down into you, his public hair tickling your swollen clit, juices from your arousal squelching as he did so. This time he wasn’t slow, his pace was even and moderate, fucking you into the mattress so hard, the springs snapped, the wood creaked and you swore the bed frame was moving. Alastor pulled away from your swollen lips burying his face in your neck, he moaned for you.
You rolled your eyes back at the sounds he made, ahs, uhs and groans that were only for you. “Oh fuck Alastor i’m gonna cum,” You squeaked clenching your toes tightly as he jackhammered into you, breathing and gasping into your ear as he felt you grip him. Alastor wasn’t proud to admit it but he was too weak to respond, instead he bit down, sucking and groaning into your skin. His pace got clumsy as you cried out in ecstasy, coiling your body around him as you came harshly.
Your arm around his back, one arm around his neck and gripping his hair, and your legs tightly locked around your hips, yeah Alastor couldn’t resist himself from shooting strings into you. Your body jolted as he came shaking your while body, his grunts and whines making your sensitive hole clench him nearer. Without a warning his body collapsed ontop of yours, a deep breath escaping him as he finally relaxed. “I’ve never felt that before dear,” Alastor admitted after a moment of silence. “Me neither, made me forget about everything.” You say hazily, your voice lifted and raw from the noises you let out.
Alastor chucked his fogged glasses to the side, pulling himself out with a huff. Smiling sweetly you watched him gently place a kiss on your stomach and walk off. Sitting up you nearly went to call after him, before his naked body came waltzing back with a rag. “Wanna have a lazy evening in chérie?” You hummed approvingly, and attempted to take the rag, he scoffed at you and lightly pushed your hand away. Softly and embarrassingly so, he cleaned you from himself, enjoying the sight while he was at it.
Once finished Alastor returned the rag as you readied the bed, wanting to cuddle with him. Coming back in Alastor went to grab you both clothes before you called to him. “Can, well- i want to feel you still?” You questioned more than said. Shutting the drawer with a slam he grinned like the little cheshire he was and crawled into bed with you. You pulled him in and he you, nuzzling yourself into his chest you whimpered at the contact, feeling various emotions run through you.
“I chose you my dear, for many reasons not only your looks, your love, your passion but your body too, I love all parts of you, and I know how thoughtless people can be, I will protect you from those comments in the future.” Alastor whispers into your head kissing the top of it right after. You caressed his chest with your nails, throwing your leg over his torso. “Thank you Alastor. I love you too, hell there’s nothing that would make me not love you.” Alastor scoffed his grin returning. “Even murder?” He questioned angling his neck to the side to meet your eyes. Smiling up at him you gave a point nod. “Even murder.”
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mire1li · 8 months
Text
Reader as Alastor's Mother part 3
So I took a little while oops Part 1!, Part 2!
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𓋼 You brush his hair every morning. He pretends to find it annoying but he secretly loves it.
Whenever you'd brush his hair, you'd sometimes mention how short it was and that you couldn't do any hairstyles with it, which, on one hand, was good for his pride, but on the other hand, made you sad which also made him slightly sad. So he made the very rational decision to grow his hair out for you so that you could style it one day!
"Alastor, is your hair longer than before?"
"Hm? Is it?" he would never admit he did it for you! 𓋼 At one point, you were in the lobby with everyone else and you started wondering about Alastor's ears since he never actually mentioned anything, of course, you remembered Charlie's constant pleading to pet him, to which he always refused with his typical "Ha! No.", which made you more curious, if perhaps you could get away with it as his mother.
So, only naturally, you placed your hand atop his head and pet him, his ears lightly twitching. Charlie squealed. Of course she did.
"Oh my gosh! Can I do that too?!" she asked
"Haha! Absolutely not."
She wasn't very happy. She ended up pouting the entire day, Vaggie having to comfort her. To Charlie, it was like someone telling her not to pet a cute cat! Absolutely heartbreaking 𓋼 On that specific day, you also asked if he had a tail, and considering he had ears, it would make sense for there to be a tail too. Of course, silly Alastor was too embarrassed to answer in front of everyone, so he avoided the question!
"You're very positive today, Mother, did something good happen?"
"Nothing in particular, so about your tail-!"
"That's for me to know and you to… maybe, find out, Mother!"
You asked him about it again when you two weren't around the others, so he decided to show you! it was a nice revelation. 𓋼 You noticed that the shadow Alastor has following you around all the time, sometimes disappears, so you used that opportunity to go meet Lucifer as he invited you for tea countless times, and who are you to decline such a kind invitation?
When Alastor realised he couldn't find you anywhere in the hotel, he panicked and searched every inch of it multiple times, until Vaggie had finally had enough and asked him what happened.
"What are you doing, Alastor?"
"Searching for my Mother! She's gone missing, you see!" of course, he had a menacing look on his face.
"She mentioned she was going out for a while"
"Oh? And did she say… where?"
"Nope, well anyway, good luck!"
Yeah, Vaggie just left him. So he waited for you patiently at the hotel entrance. When you finally returned, he clung to you like his life depended on it, asking you many questions. 𓋼 I feel like whenever the Overlords had important, confidential, meetings, Alastor would immediately return to the hotel and tell you all about them, whether it be out of spite or fun. You definitely enjoyed knowing all the things going on in hell. 𓋼 You and Niffty put makeup on him when he was asleep and pinned his hair back (Alastor was pretending to sleep, just letting you two do your thing). Angel started laughing and giving him silly nicknames when he saw his hair, which inevitably caused him to shake his head very fast, removing the pin from his hair. 𓋼 Your first birthday with everyone. Of course, Alastor threw you a party. It was meant to be a surprise but considering he’s always with you, you found out because he was more secretive than before (you managed to guilt-trip him into telling you what he was hiding) 𓋼 For Christmas (if you celebrate it), you decorate Alastor with Christmas lights! He says he hates it but he definitely doesn’t, although it certainly made him a little bit scarier when he did that spooky thing with his eyes!
"Mother. Please do explain again why you decided to put christmas lights on me."
"You're more colourful this way!" you turned the lights on, so that now they were switching between multiple colours
Angel and Niffty ended up hanging a few baubles on his antlers too, before he noticed. 𓋼 Charlie had asked about your time alive so you began telling her, and everyone else who was listening, about some silly stories! When Alastor came into the lobby and heard you telling an embarrassing story about him, his ears lightly twitched and flattened against his head. He was just a little bit embarrassed.
Of course, he tried to leave again, unnoticed, however, the all-too bubbly charlie saw him and invited him to join.
"Alastor! [Name] was just telling us stories, come join us!"
"No"
"Alastor, darling, Charlie is being very kind! You need to be around these souls more! Come join."
Of course, he can't say no to you, so he ended up sitting by your side as you continued to tell the story about him, you lightly pet him and hugged him from time to time. Although his ears still stayed flat against his head. 𓋼 You wanted to make a flower crown, but since no flowers actually existed in hell, you had to make do with other things (paper). Yes, you made paper flowers and then turned them into a makeshift flower crown, which you then placed on top of Alastor's head.
"Mother?"
"Darling, I made you a paper flower crown!" 𓋼 Alternatively, you may've decided to sneak out again to find Lucifer.
"Luci, can you sneak us into Heaven?"
"Heaven?! Why?"
"I need flowers"
"Why would you need flowers?"
"To make Alastor a flower crown!"
Yeah, he wasn't too excited about that idea but he still agreed, although it did take a bit of… bribery…
"I'll… give you a kiss if you agree!"
"Let's go!" he opened the portal immediately and took you with him.
In the end, you got all the flowers you needed (after being chased out by Lute and Adam), so you were both… somewhere in hell, for sure.
"So… about what you said, before I got us into Heaven…"
"Oh, right!" You never specified where you'd kiss him so you simply kissed his cheek, he was a little disappointed but it's alright, you got Alastor a lovely flower crown! 𓋼 I feel like he would've been very afraid of spiders when he was alive, and then you were left with the task to exterminate any that entered your home (whether or not you were also afraid) 𓋼 You were quite a fan of new technology (though not completely obsessed), it made life far easier for you, though Alastor always 'confiscated' everything when he was around as he wasn't too keen on it.
"Mother, I don't see what you like about this device so much."
"It's simple to use and makes things quite a bit simpler than back when we were alive."
"I think it's pointless."
"Yes, you've always been a fan of radio… I see that obsession has stuck, even after death"
"It is not an obsession, Mother. I prefer 'fascination'!"
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koolades-world · 8 months
Note
Hi! I like your writing :)
Could you write one where MC has been sad because the brothers haven’t been hugging them enough lately?
I think their reactions would be cute! And I wanna hug them lol
hi!! thank you so much!
haha yes of course I can
please enjoy!
Hug Deprived Mc
Lucifer
at first when he sees you sulking sadly in a corner, he thinks it's something more serious
he rushes up to ask you what's wrong and when you reply, a brief wave of relief hit him
once that had passed, he felt a little guilty
opens his arms and invites you for that hug you wanted
Mammon
he finds you laying face down on his bed, motionless
at first, he's a little worried, but once he hears you grumbling, he realizes you're just upset with him
once he asks why, you dramatically roll onto your back and act like it's a huge deal
he urges you to get up, then sweeps you into an equally dramatic hug
Levi
you don't say anything outright to him since you know he's not huge on physical contact
but he realizes something is wrong eventually
once he (nervously) confronts you and you admit what's wrong, he's so relieved you're not mad at him
he gives you the hug you want and makes sure it's everything you dreamed it would be
Satan
he was reading when you wandered in and draped yourself into his lap
at first, he only half paid attention to you but once he realize what you were saying
he put the book down and pull you up to his height so he could hug you
he promised both you and himself that this would never happen again
Asmo
he didn't even realize he wasn't hugging you enough
when you came up to him, complaining that he hadn't given you enough hugs, he immediately remedied that
he hugged you for so long and so tight to ensure he showed you that he meant it
he let you know never to hesitate to ask or just hug him if you didn't feel like waiting
Beel
the two of you were sitting side by side, having a casual conversation as you both did your own thing
you shoed around what you wanted to say before working up the courage to ask for a hug
once he realized what you were saying, he silently got up and hugged you
apologized for not hugging you more and promised to try harder
Belphie
you're laying side by side in the planetarium, stargazing
the conversation meandered from topic to topic until it landed on hugs
once you told him, he rolled over and pulled you into his side, hugging you tightly
he didn't say much, but after that, he often found you before a nap to fall asleep with his arms around you <3
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yanfeisty · 2 years
Text
— Voicelines about Creator!Reader (Liyue) ♡ !
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⊹ [ characters ] — Beidou, Chongyun, Ganyu, Hu Tao, Keqing, Ningguang, Qiqi, Shenhe, Xiangling, Xiao, Xingqiu, Xinyan, Yanfei, Yaoyao, Yelan, Yun Jin & Zhongli. ◞
⊹ [ synopsis ] — let's see what they think about you. ◞
⊹ [ cw ] — religious theme. ◞
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⠀‣ Beidou
About The Creator: Relaxation
"We had to bring them to Inazuma for a few times, apparently they really wanted to travel with The Crux. Take important person like this isn't really what we do but you know my eye for people, Y/n seemed to be more than what we heard, they were a good travel buddy, playing with the crew and telling interesting stories from another world. Sad, the guards with them don't let them drink 'A drunk God in Inazuma? What would they think?'... But who cares what they think, they should let them have a bit of fun!"
About The Creator: Consort
"You can say traveling has brought us closer, haha! I'm really happy to have find someone like them. I'll never forget the celebration we had on the ship, the weather was kind to us this day, and the food was far better than what we're used to eat, and how could I forgot the drinks, I never saw Y/n that... wild, it's quite the experience, but it's good to see them without having to worry about anything."
⠀‣ Chongyun
About The Creator
"Like me they have an energy that keeps away evil spirits from them, I suppose spirits are too scared to approach in fear of vanishing into fin air. So, I wonder why people still ask me thinking they need an exorcism, last time, we called me because apparently the Creator had an unusual behavior, rambling unknown words beyond any language experts' knowledge, turned out they just had too many drinks with the leader of The Crux..."
⠀‣ Ganyu
About The Creator: Relating
"The Qixing had to work a few times with them, and I noticed they always seem a bit anxious so I always try to help them when I can, maybe it's also because I relate to them a bit, they are our Creator but they act more like a mortal, they are trapped between two worlds, leading to confusion not only for them but also others, which would always lead to critiques..."
About The Creator: Consort
"I have still a lot to finish about this, people from all regions will come so we need to strengthen the Millelith to keep everything in order, the music group that was supposed to perform left us so I have to look through the applications again, I need to verify the special invitations just in case there's an error in the date or location. Also, I'll have to go soon for the Sumeru's flowers that should arrive this afternoon. An union between who, you ask? O-Oh... me and Y/n of course! Sorry if I wasn't clear. There's no need to worry about me, I just want everything to be perfect, I don't think I will be able to not blame myself if something bad happened, I know Y/n told me they'll be happy no matter what as long as I'm with them, but that just makes me want to work more for a perfect ceremony."
⠀‣ Hu Tao
About The Creator
"Even the most superior being needs a long rest sometimes, if it's meant to happen again, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor would be more than honored to prepare a noble ceremony for their departure. Better be quick, and offer them our buy one get one free special!"
⠀‣ Keqing
About The Creator
"Due to their return, people expect them to rule over Teyvat, which includes Liyue. People also pray to them for the minor inconvenients... *sigh* We can't rely on Gods for everything, we're perfectly capable to survive as our own, and Y/n don't seem convinced to govern alone, even before their death it was never said that the Creator was the one who ruled Teyvat, they simply enjoyed interacting with their creations."
⠀‣ Ningguang
About The Creator: Tour
"It is a great pleasure to welcome a such honorable guest into Liyue, especially when they were the one who helped us to save our nation. As the Tianquan I was more than glad to have the chance to make them visit the city, it was cute to see them insisting to pay even with no mora on them."
About The Creator: Consort
"I've heard people telling that I accepted their proposal to make my items more valuable and attract more persons to come and make deals in Liyue. In short, our marriage is just a business partnership and not an act of pure love. You... don't believe that, do you? Y/n is worth more than any amount of mora for me, and not because they're the Creator. I know I don't need to prove myself to anyone but I'm concerned if one day Y/n will listen to those rumors."
⠀‣ Qiqi
About The Creator
"I don't remember who this is... Sorry."
About Y/n
"Y/n is the one who gave me a finch, I named it just like them because they're both nice with me, so when I forgot one of them I just need to look at the other to remember... Uhh, who were we talking about?"
⠀‣ Shenhe
About The Creator: Disciple
"My family was from a clan of exorcists so they were followers of them, the clan sent prayers and asked for blessings when performing an exorcism. When my mother died, not only did my father abandon me but them too. Maybe that's why I became one of the Acolytes."
About The Creator: Consort
"My master insisted to meet Y/n, not only because they're the Creator but my partner, she wanted to meet the one who 'tamed my heart'. When they did meet, let's say both of their personalities didn't really match well together which gave... an interesting show, but at the end they agreed to share and listen to stories of my childhood..."
⠀‣ Xiangling
About The Creator
"They told me about dishes from their other world, just hearing about them makes my stomach growl, I'd love cook those dishes if they ever feel homesick, not only can food be delicious but bring warm feelings, and not just because it's hot! But I also love making them try food from here and they always seem to like and excited when I bring them a nice cooked meal!"
⠀‣ Xiao
About The Creator: Unusual
"They're a God, the oldest one, and yet their body and mind are just as weird and vulnerable as a human."
About The Creator: Consort
"Hm... Yes, about that. Could you help me with something? They always seem to care about me a lot, trying to heal me and making me food, even though I need none of this, but I heard it's expected to show gratitude to the person who cares about you. Since they act more like a human, I don't know what should I offer them. Flowers? Hm... Maybe something that gives me more work, picking up flowers isn't enough to thank them for everything they have done for me. Flowers crowns? I mean... I guess I can try to make one. You think that would make them smile if I had one too? Fine... Show me how to do it."
⠀‣ Xingqiu
About The Creator
"Ah, they're quite the difficult topic to avoid. My presence was required when my family invited them for a warm welcome to Liyue, I cannot say more as it was a private meeting, but I didn't imagine them with such a casual and clumsy personality, if you would have seen the faces of my father and brother, hehe... Just to say another meeting won't come anytime soon."
⠀‣ Xinyan
About The Creator
"Who'd think that someone like them would like my performance? Even better, they encourage it! I mean, that's understandable, staying with the most uptight persons and doing boring work all day... Can't even imagine the nightmare, they certainly got the rock 'n' roll's spirit!"
⠀‣ Yanfei
About The Creator
"Ah... Yes, I'm aware that because of their position we allow them more than we should, but it's not like anyone mind or they do anything bad, the worse that happened was them and Xinyan being a bit too loud. I've heard of a fireworks show in all of Inazuma and a wanted gang getting out of prison, but it's outside of my territory to talk furthermore."
⠀‣ Yaoyao
About The Creator
"They're always so heavily guarded, so you can always be sure they are in good health with no injuries, but I do worry about how they feel with being followed by people who watch your every move all day. So, whenever I see them, I ask how are they and I always have a ration of their favorite food with me. If you encounter them, tell hi from me and to take care!"
⠀‣ Yelan
About The Creator: Easy target
"If you knew the number of cases related to them, from little scammers to hitmen, there sure is a great variety. Since the Creator has a more powerful influence than strength, criminals think they are the perfect target for great sum of mora, but they sometimes underestimate a bit too much those close to the Creator and I'm not talking about the Millelith."
About The Creator: Consort
"Shh, not so loud. Surprised, aren't we? That means we're doing a good job at keeping it as a secret. I don't want to be known and blow up my cover, plus with the danger it can attract to them, so we can't announce it publicly but it's not that bad, seeing others thinking they have a chance with them is a funny show, unless Y/n feels uncomfortable, to this I'll attend to it personally when nobody is watching."
⠀‣ Yun Jin
About The Creator
" 'Through a simple whisper, thousands winds started to blow. Hands drew a river, rising waves emerged from the flow. Love was poured into the earth, and life began to grow~' Aren't these beautiful lyrics? There's a few operas about the Creator as we didn't know them much. We invited them but they appeared a bit embarrassed, which I can understand, so I try to sing tales that aren't about them and might fit their taste. I'm used to hear praises but their enthusiasm about my singing never fails to delight me."
⠀‣ Zhongli
About The Creator: Hopeful future
"I was surprised to hear about their reincarnation, especially about memories from another world. I had the occasions to talk to them, even if they may seem lost sometimes and lack experiences, the love they share for this world is real and the people around them returns this feeling, with a modern and ambitious mind like them, I'm sure the future of Teyvat will be bright."
About The Creator: Consort
"You want to know more about our contract? Well, our feelings for each other were mutual and we had the same promise which was to keep the other safe and happy, naturally we came to do the ultimate promise to stay together until death separates us, but I fear even this won't be able to break our contract, one that I shall forever cherish and respect. They're quite busy but I stay patient for them to come and see me when they finish with tea that I prepared for relaxing them after a stressful day."
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© ་ ׅ : pls don't translate or copy this | don't reblog with yand3r3/cult tags or if you’re a yand3r3 blog/reblog account.
@ ་ ׅ : @haileyo0ostuff
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kamisama1kiss · 4 months
Note
I got another one for you, how would the ninja react if an enemy insulted their S/O and like calling their partner weak and stuff? To make it more interesting I added a list of villains, you don’t have to do this one with the list but you can if you want to
Lloyd it could be Harumi, for Kai, aspheera, Cole- Vangelis, Jay-nadakah, Zane-Nindroids? (You can change this one) and for Nya, kalmaar
I added the list to like make it their worse enemy so they can get more angry and such, idk if you wanna do this or not but I wanna hear your thoughts on this
Hehe, I love requests, so never stop coming with them 😚🙏
~~~
How would they react to their partner being insulted by the enemy in the middle of a battle? {Ninjago Addition}
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~ Lloyd Garmadon ~ {Harumi}
"Your so-called lover happens to be weak and... not much of help, can't we say?" Harumi says with a snarky grin, Lloyd stood grinding his teeth.
He tried to stay calm for the longest as he could, taking a deep breath as the facade cracked, and he lounged at her. Showing the little mercy he had left in him as the ninja he so proudly called himself.
Ways of simply saying it, he could never allow his anyone to talk down the once he cares about, no matter who said it.
~ Kai Smith ~ {Aspheera}
"You've both sssshowned sssuch little ssstrength, even the one without powersss won't reach anywhere in life" She laughed at Kai, finding the both of them weak. His eyes paired red with rage, raging into an aggressive battle of almost death and living.
When someone Nya any words, he gets overprotective but knows she can handle herself, but since his partner does not have this power, his overprotectiveness reaching a new limit none of them knew he had.
~ Jay Walker ~ {Nadakhan}
"They can not do anything right." He told Jay when his partner had been knocked out from Nadakhan himself. His hands became more electrifyingly warm before his attacks became unhumanly fast, as lightning some might say.
Never in his Jay's life would he let someone just simply get away with being negative, his hair even standing up at some point as if he was struck by lightning. It showed how he felt upset without saying so.
~ Cole Brookstone ~ {Vangelis}
We know all know how Cole got his like extra cool power upgrade in his season, yeah? Well, this extra salt in the wound by Vangelis's words made him only crack faster to uphold his potential. "Pathetic being of a human, absolutely astonishing how weak." was screeched by the butcher version of a King to the ninjas lover.
Having already lost someone important to whom he had no control over, feeling so absolutely lost and vulnerable. Clenched hands with a scowl resting on his features, this would definitely not slide by his side.
~ Zane Julian ~ {Nindroids}
"Haha! That was just sad to watch. Even a toddler is more capable of a simple task." The nindroids hollared to themselves. Never once had he felt truly upset for the first time when it had been with you.
Not because of you but rather what someone had told you, yet he lost his cabels and wiring over his own limit. With the collected nindroid, he is. Freezing every last one of them.
~ Nya Smith ~ {Kalamaar}
Gosh, she adored you as a lover she is. Rather, not surprised when seeing her rather aggressive movements with the sushi look alike strutting around on his tentacles as he talked as if his words meant anything. "Such awful attempts of helping go back to helping the other fishes. At least then you could maybe do something right." He spat.
She stood fiurius, uneasy breathing as she stood up against him. Similarly to Kai, she lost her senses and went to attacking him until someone held her back.
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mirisss · 1 year
Text
SKZ reaction to their gf being an ACE idol
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Stray Kids OT8 x Afab! Reader
Wordcount ≈ 1.6k
Warnings: talking about giving up, food, 
Thank you for the request! I wrote a bit more than just the reaction, but I hope you still like it!
Please reblog!
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Third person POV
(Y/n) met Stray Kids when they all joined JYPE as she too was a trainee under the label. (Y/n) quickly became close with all the members and they all got along very well. Sooner rather than later they all fell in love with each other and entered a poly relationship about 2 years after SKZ made their debut. (Y/n) was still waiting to debut and almost became hopeless after waiting for so long and not getting a chance. Even though the nine of them had known each other for a few years, the SKZ members hadn’t seen (Y/n) sing, rap, or dance, in a long time. They had probably only seen her perform once or twice before they debuted. 
Stray Kids were preparing for their next comeback which meant that they didn’t have too much time to hang out with (Y/n). So one day when they were going to be at JYPE the entire day, (Y/n) decided to join them and spend some time with them while they were practicing. This then resulted in the boys wanting (Y/n) to join them when dancing and let’s just say, SKZ was not ready for (Y/n)’s skills. 
“(Y/n)! It’s been so long, I missed you so much, I felt like I was gonna die if I didn’t see you soon,” Han said as he rushed to give (Y/n) a hug as she stepped inside the dance studio. “Ji, we literally saw each other two days ago,” “I know, it’s been so long,” “Haha, okay drama-king, I’ve missed you too,” After everyone had a chance to hug (Y/n) she went over to sit down on the couch in the corner of the room while the boys began warming up to practice the choreo to their dance. 
As (Y/n) was observing the members dancing as well as trying to sing/rap their parts to see if any dance moves made it harder to sing or rap at the same time. (Y/n) quickly got the feeling of the song and she became captivated with everything. Not too long after the boys had taken a little water break, they ended up finding a problem. 
“Because we have this like body roll here I find it hard to actually get the right note because I can’t support it fully,” Seungmin said, Lee Know tried out the move on his own, his face full of concentration. “Could you try doing it like this?” Lee Know showed an example of another version of the move, followed by Seungmin trying it out but still struggling a little. (Y/n) was thinking it through and she came up with an idea of what they could possibly do but she had to try it out herself first. 
“Could you play the track to that part? I might have an idea for how it could be executed, but I have to try it first,” They all turned to (Y/n), a little surprised. Of course, they knew that she was a trainee and had been for a while but it had been so long since they last saw (Y/n) doing anything idol-like. “Yeah, sure, hold on,” Chan ran over to the phone and fixed the music. As soon as it played (Y/n) began dancing, executing every single dance move to perfection while also rapping along to Han’s part to smoothly transition into the vocal part belonging to Seungmin. Stray Kids were shocked at how good (Y/n) was dancing, rapping, and singing. And also with how quickly she had memorized the dance and everything. (Y/n) continued dancing, singing, and rapping until the song ended. The boys cheered and fanboyed over how good she was. 
“(Y/n)! WHAT? WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL US YOU WERE THIS GOOD? THINK OF ALL THE COLLABS WE COULD HAVE DONE?” Changbin was freaking out and shaking (Y/n) as he hugged her. All of them looked so proud as they lovingly gazed at (Y/n). “Thank you, guys, but isn’t it kind of difficult to collaborate with someone who hasn’t debuted?” As (Y/n) reminded them of the fact that she was still a trainee they all looked a bit sad and disappointed. “Yeah, it would be difficult. You haven’t heard anything about your debut?” Chan asked after he told everyone to take a break to eat something. “No, not since last year when I was told that it wasn’t the right time to debut a soloist and they don’t seem to want me in a group so I’m getting a bit hopeless,” “Don’t be, it will be fine. Everything will work out, trust me, I waited a long time too,” Chan enveloped (Y/n) in a warm hug, Felix soon joined in, followed by the rest of them. 
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(Not my gifs) ↑ how they react to (Y/n)
After they had taken a break to eat some lunch, they got back in the studio, This time (Y/n) joined them while dancing and the nine of them had some fun messing around with the dance and singing and rapping. Just enjoying their time together. Once the day was over, Chan asked Changbin to stay behind with him while the others went home. “What’s up, hyung?” “(Y/n) is way too talented to just be a trainee, she’s giving up Binnie. We can’t let that happen,” “What can we do, though? We can’t do more than try to encourage her,” “Yes we can, I’m sure that the company is doubting if she can become a soloist that will be popular, especially since the age of new groups and soloists keeps going down. So they don’t know if it’s worth debuting her, spending a lot of money on her songs and everything. So, what if 3racha writes her debut song? We are in-house producers, it will be way cheaper, our stays will support her if we write her songs, and I’m sure STAY will fall in love with (Y/n) if they’re only given a chance to hear and see her,” “That’s true, STAY would love her, and a lot of other people too, we can at least try to help her,”
As soon as the two came home they spoke with Han too, explaining their plan. 3racha has some power within the company and they knew that they could gain the support of the company if they were persuasive enough. The three sat down in Chan’s room where he had his mini-studio, brainstorming concepts and genres that would fit their girlfriend. They worked all night to have a rough draft to show the company in the morning. At the meeting, 3racha played it cool at first, just speaking about their comeback. Once the meeting was coming to an end, Chan raised his hand saying there was a special topic he wished to discuss. The staff gave him the floor, allowing him to speak up. He told them about seeing (Y/n) perform their song the other day and how he thinks JYPE is wasting her potential by not debuting her which is why 3racha had written 5 tracks for (Y/n) that could be used for her debut mini-album. The staff was a bit taken aback but listened to what the idols/producers had to say. The staff accepted the feedback and said that they would bring it with them to the staff meeting this afternoon and see what everyone had to say. 
The next day, (Y/n) stormed into the dance studio where SKZ was dancing, walking up to Chan with a slightly irritated look on her face. “What did you do?” “What do you mean?” “Did you force JYPE to debut me?” “What? No?” “I was told that my debut date has been set and my songs are pretty much finished, thanks to 3racha for producing them,” “Yeah? That’s true, We did write some songs for you and talked with the company but we didn’t threaten them or anything, we just said that they’re wasting your potential and that if it would help we have 5 tracks written for you,” “So, they’re actually debuting me for my talent?” “Of course, they are, Look we wrote those songs because we wanted to help you. The company seemed like they would wait forever and we didn’t want you to give up. And we know that if STAY sees that we were involved in the songs, they will support you, and if they just give you a chance they’ll fall in love with you,” “Thank you,” (Y/n) began crying, she was finally making her debut, all thanks to her lovely boyfriends who believed in her when she didn’t believe in herself. “And once you’ve debuted, we can collab!” “Yeah!” 
“I love you guys,” “We love you too!” “Congratulations on debuting!” Not too long after (Y/n) made her debut, the entire industry was talking about her as she took the stage like a pro. The way she danced, rapped, and sang, people were going crazy wondering if she really was a rookie or not. And when a collab stage came out with (Y/n) and Han everyone in the industry, staff, idols, and fans alike, was mind-blown. STAYs and (Y/n)’s fans were all saying this was a collab of the ACES, The two idols were incredible and people said that they had such chemistry too. Articles were written about the “ACES of JYPE,” 
(Not my gif) ↓ SKZ's reaction to (Y/n)’s debut (except, Hyunjin didn’t look scared/disgusted)
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bambiilooza · 2 months
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How sad do you think elpenor would get when hearing perimedes say "I love nobody, that's my power" on his face? Do you think he brushes it off as perimedes lashing out due to his depression or does it actually hurt elpenir deep down?
OK I HAVE THOUGHTS ON THIS. THESE GAYS MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. I COULD WRITE A WHOLE BOOK ON THEM.
this is long sorry. my excuse is i'm gay 😎👍
i wanna say before i get to the shippy stuff, he probably meant all kinds of love - not just romantic - so that makes things actually sad
i do think elpenor would be upset by it but not the cliche unrequited love 'oh he doesn't love me' greek tragedy route but like 'oh he doesn't think he can love. what does that mean for how he views himself?' i don't think he'd say anything about it cuz it's probably a very common thing for peri to say and there may have been times where he was 'what do u mean by that haha' that ended in awkward sad silence
peri's song has the saddest fucking lyrics with the most upbeat tune (and along with jay's silly dancing and the lyrics in what elpenor says about him) and that just shows he's putting on this cocky, persona to hide his true emotions. 'can't fail if i don't try' just makes it seem like he tries to stop himself from loving cuz that's difficult with his state right now. if he just keeps everything surface level and goofy appearance wise, no one will pick up on who he truely is.
but elpenor would see through that as he says it the song. if you've seen my drawing for it, you can see i clearly took the 'you don't know him like i do' lyric to mean they're already together in some way - it's not a pining situation. i think that it probably started of as a tentmate sex thing but grew to be romantic. i do think neither have said anything about it, peri because he doesn't want to love. it's too hard right now because admitting he wants love means admitting he wants TO love and that's hard.
elpenor is happy to keep things in this grey area where they - and everyone else - knows they're in love but haven't said anything about it for the sake of peri but it would hurt him. he wants to love and he's ready but what hurts him more is the possibility that peri doesn't love himself.
but the gist is, he would be upset personally ofc. he knows there is a deeper reason to it, those words would probably hurt. the reason he'd actually be upset is because of what peri's ideology means on how he views himself. that would hurt him and i like to think polites would be there for him to talk to ( they're both really sweet and they'd be great friends i think) about what he should do and stuff.
also i'm not saying 'he just like me fr fr!!' but, the idea that peri hides his depression in the way he does is pretty similar to how i used to be (and get sometimes) and the 'i can't love ppl' is a mentality i've had for a long time - i'm better now!! - cuz i didn't think they could love me. there is probably smth smiliar like that happening here with him.
idk if any of that made sense. my thoughts most of the time are not in english so it's hard to get it down
guys plz send me stuff about these guys. i like the au and drawing for all the other characters but these two actually live in my head. i do not think they're leaving anytime soon
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Buck & Eddie: They're Soulmates!
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Buck and Eddie share a once in a lifetime love of each other's lives type of love that transcends space and time.
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The love they share is not platonic, it's romantic and the natural chemistry they have is OFF THE CHARTS.
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There are people who wish they could have one tenth of the love they share with each other and that's why over the years, the show has made it a point to highlight and compare their love interests against the other one as a way to prove Buck and Eddie are meant for each other.
Therefore, can it once and for all be acknowledged that the possible reason why NONE of Buck’s previous relationships with AC, AM, TK and ND never worked was because THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO?
The same goes for Eddie because NONE of his relationships ever worked either including the one he had with Chris' mother. SD, AF and now M (who the show still hasn't given a last name and that speaks volumes as to how long she'll possibly be around) didn’t or won't work for Eddie because THEY WEREN'T/AREN'T SUPPOSED TOO EITHER?
It's interesting to see all these takes on how some people view their previous relationships with those women through rose colored glasses and saying things like they could have been great if... (_______ fill in the blank with whatever randomness you'd like). The point is they weren't meant to be anything but a placeholder until Buddie goes CANON.
Buck
There have been so many takes on Buck and TK being perfect because they were cute together but did everyone who thinks that forget she was willing to throw the 118 and their captain under the bus in 2x6? Don't even try to rebutt it with logic from that fake redemption arc that was included in 5x7 for her because in 5x17 she ultimately accomplished her goal by doing exactly what she intended four years earlier when she broke a promise she made to Buck and ran with the Jonah story then wrote a raggedy book about it exactly one year later in 6x17. It's true that Buck knew who she was but he still dated her (which speaks more to his poor decision making than hers) but they both knew it was wrong from the start. They were never going to work and they were never FRIENDS. Friends don't treat each other like $hit so they can get their way then expect for you to just be ok with it and follow it up with a half @ssed apology like, "I'm sorry you're still upset about the story" 🙄. With friends like that, Buck doesn't need enemies.
AC literally ABANDONED him but there are still people who think she would have been good for him. It appears they forgot she FOUND a man with two kids in another country and in 3x18 she came back two years later to rub Buck’s face in it. She didn't even have the decency to apologize to him.
AM was the worst of all because SHE WAS NEVER THERE WHEN BUCK NEEDED HER. Was she nice, yes but she didn't know him at all and when his leg got crushed by the ladder truck in 2x18, she dipped and ABANDONED him too. But for some reason, she's being heralded as his best relationship ever which is so far from the truth it's funny sad not funny haha. She left him in his loft with a cast on his leg because she didn't know what she wanted.
ND was/is only interested in Buck because he DIED! THAT'S IT! There's nothing else to the story. She clearly COULDN'T SEE HIM because they only knew each other for two seconds so please stop romanticizing their hookup like it was some "Gone with the Wind" love story because that's a bunch of BS since they didn't and still don't know each other.
Eddie
SD was NOT the perfect wife and mother people who wanted her to stick around and coparent Chris with Eddie have made her out to be. The show clearly retconned her character in 6x15 like she was so young and she didn't deserve to die but be clear, the relationship she had with Eddie was toxic as F%ck! All they did was argue and instead of talking, they had sex. They didn't communicate and when she was ready to leave again, she thought she would have time to come back and be "someone's wife and someone's mother" (her words but notice she didn't say Chris' mother or Eddie's wife, she said someone's) but her time ran out and she didn't get the chance, hence the title of the episode she died in, "Careful what you wish for". Trust and believe she had a lot of faults and Eddie did too but her being young wasn't an excuse for her leaving Chris and not contacting him for almost 2 years. If Eddie wouldn't have contacted her about her interviewing at Durand, would she have ever come back? Who knows but probably not since she was out there living her best life like she didn't have a kid.
AF was nice but just because her and Eddie were cute together, it doesn't mean they were soulmates. Did the people rooting for them to stay together even realize that she was Chris' schoolteacher in 3x12 but she DIDN'T OFFER EDDIE ANY SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO HELP CHRIS SKATEBOARD? That was literally her job but she was career driven which isn't a bad thing but it seemed like she was in love with the idea of being in love just like Eddie was. She was trying to avoid dealing with the issues that were prevalent in their relationship and she didn't even ask Eddie about his panic attacks to try and find out what was causing them. But she did throw them in his face when he broke up with her.
M is IN LOVE WITH HER BROTHER! It was clear she was in 6x5 when she almost kissed him on the mouth while they were in the ambulance. Also, she's a loner, hence the meaning of her name, Marisol, it literally means solitude. When Eddie met her, she was doing upgrades on her home by herself until her brother showed up and made a complete mess of things. If Eddie does try to pursue something formidable with her in season 7, everyone knows how it will end because EDDIE TOLD THE AUDIENCE IN 6X14... he'll be performing and trying not to panic and his performance anxiety will be at a level 100.
Buddie
Who's never left Buck? EDDIE!
Who loves both Eddie and Chris? BUCK!
Who takes care of Buck? EDDIE!
Who listens to Eddie? BUCK!
The list can go on and on but the point of this post is for those who chose to see what they want to see instead of what 9-1-1 has CLEARLY been depicting for Buck and Eddie over the past six years. None of Buck’s or Eddie’s love interests were written to work because they weren't/aren't supposed to.
No one has natural chemistry with them like they have with each other and it's written that way on PURPOSE!
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kimbapisnotsushi · 1 year
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okay no see the thing that made me really, really sad about hinata and the thing that made me really, really root for him and love him and want to see him win it all was how, like, people kept DENYING him. and i'm not talking about spectators in the stands going "omg he's so short haha, can he really do anything?" i'm talking about how his own team and how everyone who knew them in some way - as much as i love them - could never really separate him from kageyama. they were the freak quick duo, karasuno's number nine and number ten. they were amazing! so brilliant, the two of them. and hinata thought it was a way out, at first. he thought it was a way over the summit. he thought it was the key to being someone better.
but a key goes both ways, you know. it can lock you up just as much as it can set you free.
and hinata had to be so, so frustrated. everyone was finding ways to move forward except him. everyone expected him to stay stuck. and you could argue that that's not entirely true, sure, that he was always training, always trying to catch up, and they encouraged that. but nobody ever expected him to be more. nobody ever expected him to go beyond what he had with kageyama - they all thought that was enough for hinata. they thought he was fine like that because it worked for the rest of them. they underestimated how much he wanted to be capable. they didn't get how much he wanted to stand on his own two feet.
and that wasn't fair to hinata! it wasn't fair that hinata, who loved to play and loved the game and loved volleyball so so much, was the only one being left behind! he wanted to change that but nobody was trying with him!!! so of course he got impatient!! of course he was reckless!!! of course he was carving his own opportunities!!! there was no way forward otherwise!!! because if we take a minute to think about how training would have gone while kageyama was at tokyo, let's be honest — it probably wouldn't have gone well. nobody else can do with hinata what kageyama could do with him. hinata would have been held back. he would have felt useless. practicing serves and receives was stuff he was already doing constantly before that, and it wasn't teaching him anything. yeah hinata was a little bit selfish and a little bit shameless but being so finally got him somewhere!!
all hinata ever wanted to do was fly, even if it meant straying from the flock to do so
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bearlythere · 5 months
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will not shut up about how bluey's 30 min episode gave us so much more lore and references to the real world
the writes really made so much literal and euphemistic use of the word "sign" in this episode
in chronological order! and spoilers below!!
do let me know if I missed anything out!
FRISKY AND RAD'S WEDDING!!!! in the iconic heeler house!!
bandit's bully bucky dunstan being the real estate agent selling his house
English sheepdog buying the bluey house (emigration - would be nicer if they got english voice actors to voice them though)
the bluey house was actually for sale on an Australian real estate website! and as per the time of writing this post, it's been "withdrawn from sale" - the bluey digital marketing team AMAZES ME.
I wonder which city bandit got a new job in - don't know if they'll explore that in future seasons
bluey's friend the brown dog (I'm sorry I don't know his name) having 2 mums!
winton talking about his divorced parents and the terriers' saying their mom likes winton's dad!!!
jack and his army interest! him and rusty playing army!!
the sitting in a tree, kissing thing that kids do
Jeremy the gnome
bobo being the car's name
frisky's licence plate being fr15k
the first time kids sit in the front seat of the car
police officers pulling people on the road over LMAO
rad's profile picture being him goofing around with his 2 brothers
how realistic it is trying not to lose someone you're following on the road
the butterfly from slide!! 🦋 it has a name! flappy!
everyone being afraid of the butterfly except bingo because we know she loves insects!
chilli reminiscing how she and frisky used to go to the lookout to "think" when we all knew she meant drink LOL
frisky's 3rd friend appears!
BRANDY IS PREGNANT???
the canon in d rendition as bgm
the busker being the priest??
also they got mort and maynard to come attend the wedding too!!
frisky's father is a typical surfer dude lmao
we see trixie standing amongst the girls during the bouquet toss. and then we see stripe come in to intercept the toss. does this mean that stripe and trixie are not married yet and have just been cohabitating? stripe grabs the bouquet and celebrates, but we see trixie face palm... what does this mean??
love the photo montage and the huge family photo, how it shows that you can't get everybody to be ready for the photo
AFTERPARTY
GRANDPA BOB WENT TO INDIA TO FIND HIMSELF 😭 man needed spiritual rediscovery
the busker is the music dj too!!
uh oh... stripe and trixie are fighting... perhaps it was about the bouquet toss? and we see socks playing with the cake toppers - possibly mimicking her parents actions
awww Radley quit his job so that frisky could stay in a city she loved ❤️
they brought back the music from dance mode!
NANA AND BOB FLOSSING!!!
chattermax randomly appearing 😭
bingo getting stuck in the railing again
bingo being sad because she has to move and lila won't be able to follow. which is also the moment I realised they won't be moving in the end, because of the montage at the end of daddy drop-off episode where bingo and lila grow up together and be friends "forever and ever and ever"!
the 2 English sheepdogs pushing their fluff away from their eyes to see haha
THEM SEEING WINTON'S DAD'S HOUSE WITH A POOL WHICH IS FOR SALE BECAUSE THEYRE MOVING IN WITH THE TERRIERS AND THEIR MOTHER!! THEY ALL FIT IN ONE CAR!!!
seeing the iconic bluey house empty, with spots where furniture used to be somehow makes me feel a little empty and nostalgic
the montage of them saying goodbye to their old neighbours, bandit having one last chat with pat, the girls and chilli saying goodbye to judo and her mum
Judo still has short hair!
chilli reminiscing the kitchen because bluey took her first steps there
WHO SANG THAT SONG IN THE END PLEASE RELEASE IT LUDO STUDIOS
THE SHEEPDOGS WENT BACK ON THEIR DECISION TO BUY BLUEYS HOUSE TO BUY WINTON'S DAD HOUSE
you can tell how much chilli didn't want to move as she was the first one out of the car running over to hug him when she realised bandit didn't want to sell the house anymore. and the shoulder shakes shows that she was fully sobbing too
iconic kiwi rug! loved the simplicity of the last scene, where even if there's nothing around you, as long as you're together with the people you love, eating the simplest meal, enjoying the moment, that's family.
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seniaasaysstuff · 1 year
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hii i was wondering if you do requests, ill leave here this request and if you dont do them or dont like this feel free to ignore this!<3
its sukuna (or characters of your choice) x fem! reader where she gave birth to a baby but sadly it died so she fell into depression and sukuna is worried but tries not to show it much
thank you even for reading this, take care!<3
TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️- miscarriage.
Hi anon! This is actually my first request haha. Thank you for the request! I tried to write a happy kind of ending?
Um I hope you like it :D Have a great day<33
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SADNESS ; ryomen sukuna.
Sukuna may be considered as someone that didn’t have feelings, a monster, an unnatural freak but he loved you.
The first time he ever laid his eyes on you, sukuna knew you were the one for him.
Even though you were a sickly person, you diligently took care of sukuna when he was wounded. You tried your best to protect him from the villagers. You even went as far as taking a hit that was meant for him.
One day sukuna asked you to leave with him.
You accepted, you didn’t have anyone in the world other than him.
You knew about sukuna being a powerful sorcerer but you always worried about his safety.
Soon sukuna built an estate just for you.
He took great care of you. You never had to worry about a thing. He treated you like a queen.
He courted you and married you like a respectful gentleman.
Everyone in the estate respected you, some even feared you as they believed that you were the only one that could control sukuna.
The estate maids adored you, you treated them so kindly, always greeting them. To them even though you were a sickly person, you always were bubbly, so friendly.They always felt delighted when they saw sukuna sama treat you with devotion because in their eyes you deserved the best.
After a year of your marriage, you felt lonely.
When you noticed the estate maids with their children it made you cry.
You knew you would have great difficulty having kids but you wanted to try having a baby with sukuna. You always envisioned having a child that looked just like sukuna, your husband.
Sukuna vehemently refused as he was worried about your safety. But after your incessant pleas he gave in. He couldn’t handle you and your puppy dog eyes begging him for a baby every day and it worked.
You were finally pregnant. Sukuna got the most sought out doctors for you.
The pregnancy took a toll on you. It was taxing both for your physical and mental health. The morning sickness made you unable to stomach anything and it made you look even more sickly.
While you were walking around one day you felt cramps. They were alarming and it felt like you were dying. You felt something warm trickle down your leg. It felt like blood. You looked down and cried out. You were bleeding.
After hearing you scream, the maids came down rushing. They yelled for the doctor as they ushered you into the room. Sukuna dropped everything as he heard you cry out and ran towards your room.
Pain, all you could feel was pain when the doctor sadly informed you that you had miscarried. You wailed for your lost child.
You never really recovered from your miscarriage. You stopped leaving your room, always sitting in your room looking out of the window sadly. You lost your appetite neither did you have the energy to do anything.
You never really knew it but sukuna cried.
He was so worried for you. He didn’t care for the baby, sure it hurt but you were the only thing that mattered to him.
He did his best to cheer you up. He did not know what to do to make you feel better. He didn’t wish for you to grow distant and fall into depression. So he took you on walks, tried getting you gifts like jewelry, he attempted to make jokes to make you laugh but it didn’t work. Nothing worked.
He was growing even more frightened for you.
If you went on like this you could die and he didn’t want that.
One day sukuna dropped on his knees in front of you. “My love,” he rasped.
“Please let me take care of you. I vow to you that I would do everything in my power to help you. Don’t ignore me please my darling. Kill me if you wish but talk to me. I can’t handle you not talking to me.” His voice cracked. Tears were threatening to fall.
“It was not your fault. Believe me, it wasn’t, curse me all you want but please don’t do this. I can’t do this anymore- seeing you trying to kill yourself.” He let out a tired sigh.
You let out a sob. “I don’t know what to do kuna. I lost our baby.” Sukuna lifted and placed you in his lap. You clutched his kimono and wept against his chest.
“You didn’t lose our baby sweetheart. None of it was your fault. We can always try for another or adopt if you want hm?” He tried to soothe you.
“But-” You trembled. He placed a finger against your lips.
“My love, it's okay.” He assured you.
“It’s okay to miss the baby. But don’t beat yourself up over it.” He murmured.
A few months later you had settled down a bit. You at times felt empty. You didn’t have anything to fill up the void. Sure sukuna tried his best to keep you happy but it wasn’t enough.
“You know what? You wanted a baby to look like me right?” Sukuna barged inside your shared room with his hands behind his back. You were confused. You didn’t know what was going on nor Why he was bringing up babies?
“Here meet Yuji and Mizuho.” He handed you two infants.
“What is the meaning of this?” You shrieked.
“Did you steal someone’s kids?” You shouted. “Look at the children.” He whispered. You looked down and noticed they looked oddly similar to sukuna.
You glanced at him in bewilderment. “I made them with my cursed energy. I knew you wanted children but I couldn’t put you through hell again.” He proudly spoke.
“I know you were planning to name our child Yuji if it was a boy and Mizuho if it was a girl.” He added. Tears were brimming in your eyes. “You did all of this for me?” You stuttered.
“I love you. This was nothing. I’m willing to do anything for you.” He hoarsely spoke. “I know it will not make you forget about the baby nor will it fill the empty void. But I want you to be happy.”
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sciderman · 4 months
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Which version of Peter Parker/Spider-Man did you fall in love with??
Honestly i loved the ultimate spider-man version, he was the starting point to my long obsession with anything Spidey related (especially with you and your blog❤️)
it's insane now that you can say "ultimate spider-man" and i don't know if you mean the 2000s comics ultimate spider-man, the television ultimate spider-man, or the present ultimate spider-man.
which of these men is your man??
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they can't ALL be ultimate. how can they ALL be ultimate. ultimate means ONE. the ultimate. they can't all b
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come ON now!! they're just throwing that word around!!
i know you probably don't mean the present ultimate, he's too new. unless he is your guy. in which case, welcome to hell, you fresh baby, you. if you mean ultimate spider-man the cartoon, then mad respect. you must be pretty freaky. i am too (he was one of my first exposures to spider-man too. and i liked it. i'm pretty freaky.)
if it's the ultimate comics version (objectively the best one) - then nice. good taste. very respectable and normal of you. he is very cute and i love him. but also want to wring his neck. which is the sign of a good peter parker.
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little twerp. i hate him.
funnily enough the thing that sparked my spider-man hyperfixation was actually an aerial silks artist in a circus who was dressed as spider-man.
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yeah. i had watched the tobey maguire movies when i was a kid in the cinema but i didn't like them at the time (didn't appreciate them) (was too young) (thought tobey's face was weird) (didn't get it) and actually, funnily, had NO interest in seeing the andrew garfield movies at all because the cynical child i was said "why are they rebooting spider-man?? didn't they just make a spider-man like three years ago??" i literally had no interest in spider-man at all as a child. at all. i didn't get it. wasn't into it. didn't see tasm1 in the cinema. had no interest in spider-man at all until i saw that aerial silks artist gyrating around in his tight tights and thought "hm."
i started drawing spider-man before i started reading him. and actually, i started reading deadpool long before i started reading spider-man. deadpool was kind of the guy where i thought "if i ever get into comics, it'll probably be deadpool." i knew a lot more about deadpool. i saw all the memes on the internet at 13 years old and thought "haha yeah this guy is funny. not like spider-man. spider-man is lame and for babies. this guy is like spider-man but if spider-man was funny and cool and not for babies."
so when the day finally came where i said "today is the day im going to start reading comics", it was deadpool, not spider-man. but i kept running into spider-man in the comics and he wasn't lame and boring like i thought he was. he was funny and sharp and kind of bitchy actually. and so i kind of liked him. and started reading him.
first i read all the spider-man and deadpool team-ups, first. because i was eating my way through all the deadpool i could. so i read like, all of deadpool before i started diving into spider-man. and i think i started watching the ultimate spider-man cartoon here-or-there before i started picking up the spider-man comics.
eventually i watched tasm1 and then tasm2 in theatres, and i kind of fell in love with andrew. i loved him so much more than tobey. he was just so sad and pitiful but also very pretty, and just – i don't know, there was this indie charm to tasm1 that i kind of loved. not all the hollywood melodrama of the raimi movies - it felt like a real messy, dumb kid who was figuring it out. and i loved him.
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a baby boy. baby.
so i think andrew was the peter parker i fell in love with. i started writing him after i watched tasm2 - he's the blueprint for 9319 peter - i hadn't read very much spider-man when i started writing ask-spiderpool - i'd eaten through all of the deadpool canon, but tasm was kind of the springboard for how i approached peter. it was meant to be andrew. i started diving into spider-man comics as i wrote the blog, and started from #1, way back in the 60s. and just fell in love with peter parker more and more the more i read him. but i think andrew will always be my first love. he was the blueprint, and i think - no matter how much of 616 canon i adopt into 9319 - the peter parker i write is always mostly andrew, but recontexualised.
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