#happy late earth day i guess

[moonstruckme]

A Christmas Special

summary: after Christmas Eve at Remus' flat, thick snowfall prevents you from going home. He's more than happy to host you

cw: mentions of alcohol, smut mdni, p in v, oral (fem receiving), praise, inexperienced reader, shy little idiots in love

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 11k words

Remus isn’t sure entirely how he’d gotten strongarmed into hosting Christmas Eve at his flat. James and Lily usually host, but James claimed that this year their house was in too much a state of “baby mayhem” to have any hope of being tidied enough for a gathering. He’s said it in such a lovesick voice Remus couldn’t push back for long, his friend’s happiness so potent it was like looking into the sun. Sirius had begged off quickly, saying that his “bachelor pad” was too small to have a group over. As usual, when Remus spoke last, the matter was settled before he’d gotten the chance to have much of a say. 

He’s made an effort to live up to the hosting legacy passed onto him by the Potters, but it’s a flimsy attempt at best. Thankfully, the snowfall outside is doing a fair amount of the work for him. Remus’ street is coated in fresh, gleaming powder, enough that the trees look weighted down with it and his neighbor had put her little dog in a knit sweater to go into the yard and do its business. It’s still coming down, the snowflakes visible in crisp contrast against the darkening sky as they drift lazily to the earth. 

Inside Remus’ home, the Christmas tree is nearly covered in tinsel to make up for his scant supply of ornaments, he’s run out of stockings to put up above the fireplace and has had to use one large sock (that one will have to be for Sirius), and he’s still stringing up popcorn when a knock sounds on the door. 

Remus is surprised (he’d told everyone to come at six, but that was only because he didn’t think anyone would actually show up until a couple hours after), but that dies away when he unbolts the door and opens it to find you on the other side. 

“Hi,” you say, teeth nearly chattering as Remus ushers you inside. “Sorry I’m late, traffic was worse than I expected.” 

“It’s hardly fifteen after six.” Remus takes your coat, tsking. “People do seem to become worse drivers around the holidays, don’t they?” 

“Well, I suppose not everyone on the road tonight might be used to driving in the snow,” you allow, ever forgiving. 

Remus smiles. “Merry Christmas, love.” 

Your face is already flushed from the chill outside, but he could swear it goes pinker as you unwrap your scarf, smiling back at him. “Merry Christmas.” You’re merry as can be, cheeks dimpling and eyes sparkling under the twinkling lights Remus is suddenly very glad he decided to purchase for the occasion. “Where is everyone?” 

“Well,” Remus says, heading back for the couch, “Sirius is hitching a ride with James and Lily, so if I had to guess I’d wager that James is just putting the finishing touches whatever food he’s decided to bring while Lily tries to rush him out the door. And then they’ll go to Sirius’ place and have to wait for him to finish wrapping the presents he undoubtedly just remembered today.” 

You sit beside him with a half-exasperated laugh. “I was thinking I’d be the last one here,” you admit, “but I’d forgotten how they can be when it comes to events.” 

Remus shrugs. “Easy to forget.” Lily is usually able to marshal James and Sirius most places on time these days, but the frenzy when they actually have things to prepare is inevitable; Remus has learnt to account for it. He reclaims his half-finished string of popcorn, clumsily stabbing the needle into another kernel and wincing when it goes through easier than expected, pricking his finger. 

“Oh no, did you hurt yourself?” you lean over, trying to see his hand. 

“No, just a scratch.” Remus has about a billion of them by now. He’s far from coordinated on a good day, but the unwise decision to have coffee earlier has resulted in shaky hands that make working with a needle somewhat hazardous. 

You watch him try again, and it’s really the distraction of your cute frown more than anything else that messes him up. His needle goes through the fluffy edge of the popcorn, stabbing him and giving the string hardly anything to hold onto in the process. The flake falls to his lap for his efforts. 

“Remus, your hand’s not a pincushion,” you say, and you weren’t yourself he’d almost think you were chiding him. You reach over, taking the needle and thread from him. “Here, let me do that.” 

“I didn’t mean for you to come here early so I could put you to work,” Remus protests, watching as you string up the next piece of popcorn with nimble fingers. Jealousy wars with admiration, but his esteem for you wins out. “You’ll never come back for New Year’s if this is what you have to look forward to.” 

You smile down at your hands. “Sure I will. You’ll still be there, won’t you? And I really don’t mind helping, it gives me something to do.” 

Remus smiles back even though you’re not looking. “Alright, well I guess that means I can start rolling out the gingerbread dough. Thanks, love.” He touches his hand lightly to the crown of your head as he stands, letting the urge to press a kiss there pass as quickly as it arises. He goes into the kitchen and a second later you decide to follow. Popcorn swishes against the floor behind you as you make your way over to the bar counter, sitting on a stool with the string trailing all the way back to the couch. 

“You’re making gingerbread cookies?” you ask, watching with eager eyes as he plops the dough onto the floured counter, rolling it flat. 

“Mhm. You like them?” 

“Never had one.” 

Remus feels his eyebrows inch upwards. “Seriously?” 

You look almost sheepish, as though this is a crime which you expect to be held against you. Honestly, you’re not far off; had James been here, you would have been questioned and scolded to hell and back, and then he would’ve made Remus give you some dough to try, salmonella be damned. 

“No,” you answer him. “We made ornaments of them in school, once, but we weren’t allowed to eat them. I always thought they were so cute, though, with the little people cutouts.” 

“They’re the best,” Remus agrees, pressing out the shapes and laying them on the baking sheet. “If you finish that quickly enough, I might even let you help me cut out a few.” 

“Yes!” you cheer, and he laughs as you start working quicker with the needle. 

“Don’t hurt yourself. The privilege of cookie cutting is not actually contingent on your labor.” 

“I know,” you say, but your hands don’t slow. Remus has barely finished filling his second baking sheet before you’re done, having made more progress in the last twenty minutes than he had over nearly an hour. 

Remus’ hip touches yours as he shows you how to give the cookie cutters a little shake in the dough, freeing the shape before lifting it and placing it on the sheet. It’s not a painfully difficult task, and still he’s impressed by how quickly you catch on. You’re a machine of efficiency. You seem to enjoy rolling out the dough almost as much as pressing out the shapes, falling into a quick, happy rhythm. Before long you’ve pushed Remus out of the way (Lily would be proud, he thinks), urging him to go and hang up the popcorn garland before everyone else arrives. 

You haven’t seen each other in over a month, both of you caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season, and you catch up as you work on your separate tasks. Remus talks to you about his job, the students who plague him and the ones he wishes he could take home after work each day, and how none of them had liked the film he’d put on the day before break. (“Mister Magoo’s is a classic!” you protest as Remus shakes his head. “They’re too young to get it,” he says. “Our classics are just old to them.”) You tell him about your new cat, and the sweater you’d crocheted her for the holiday which she despises above all else, and he promises to come over sometime soon to meet her. 

You’ve poured yourselves spiked eggnog and sampled a few ginger cookies (“They’re twice as good when they’re fresh,” Remus says. “Don’t let the others’ tardiness rob you of the experience.”) by the time the door bursts open again, Sirius of course not bothering to knock. 

“Hello!” he calls from somewhere behind a tower of presents. “Merry holiday to you, Moony!” 

You get up to help, and so Remus is compelled to do so as well, taking a couple sloppily-wrapped boxes from Sirius’ arms. 

“Merlin, it smells good in here,” James declares as he comes through the door, Lily carrying a beaming baby Harry on her hip behind him. James’ eyes fall on you. “Aw, you beat us here?”

Remus scoffs, setting down the gifts by the tree and leaving you to arrange them as you see fit. “Not a very difficult task, when you’re over an hour late,” he says. “You’re lucky Y/N’s good company, or I’d be more cross with you.” 

“Sorry,” Lily says as Sirius makes a dismissive sound, flopping onto the couch. “We had some trouble fitting everything in the car with Harry’s seat, and then Sirius—” she shoots him a glare, and he grins like she’s sweetly cooed his name “—wouldn’t leave without his hat, even though he’d lost it.” 

“One only gets to wear one’s elf hat every so often,” Sirius justifies, unperturbed. “I wasn’t going to miss the occasion even if it took me all night to find it.” 

“It nearly did,” Lily shoots back, but then James is at her side, having discarded his load of food and presents and now vying to hold Harry. 

“Come here, my handsome little guy.” 

“Used to call me that,” Sirius quips with his mouth full of gingerbread cookies, a heaping plate seeming to have found its way into his lap. 

Remus isn’t going to smile at that poor attempt at a joke, but once you laugh he can’t help it. 

“Only on special occasions,” James replies, taking Harry under the arms and hoisting him into the air. Harry laughs, and it’s probably the most contagious thing Remus has ever heard. Everyone smiles; James most of all, grinning ear to ear as he does it again. 

“He never lets me hold him,” Lily complains fondly. 

“Because I know how much you like seeing me with him,” James says breezily, making a face at Harry above him. “You’re mad with lust right now, Evans, don’t try to deny it.” 

“Sleaze,” Sirius says to him, the bell on his hat jingling when he tilts his head.

“I know you are, but what am I?” 

“I,” Remus says, “am hungry. And I’ll bet Y/N is too, since she’s very politely refrained from snacking much while we waited for you lot.” 

James' attention actually leaves his son for half a second to look at you and see if what Remus says is true, and you go instantly bashful. It doesn’t seem to matter how long you’re friends with them; having attention drawn to you will always bring some color to your cheeks. Lily comes to your rescue, ushering you into the kitchen like she needs somewhere to channel her mother hen urges while James is monopolizing Harry. 

“I hope you really are hungry,” she says, “because James has made enough bhaji to feed us all for a month.”

❆ ❆ ❆

Soon even James is stuffed and you’re all a bit tipsy on eggnog. Some of your natural anxiety fades as everything starts to feel slower and more fluid, your insides warm and soft as wax. 

“No, because it was so obvious,” Sirius says. He’s telling a story of a girl he’d seen at a coffee shop that he’s sure was enamored with him. James, naturally, agrees completely, but Lily and Remus aren’t so sure. “She did the—the thing. Y/N, back me up. When a girl makes eye contact with you and then looks off to the side, it means she’s not interested, but when she looks down, it’s because she’s nervous, right?”

You raise your eyebrows. “I think you made that up,” you tell him, tiny bits of laughter running in between your words. “Anyway, is her being nervous necessarily a good thing?” 

“She was nervous because she’s obsessed with me,” Sirius insists. 

“Or,” Remus says, “she was nervous because you were staring at her, and she thought you were going to follow her outside.” 

“And probably kill her,” Lily agrees. 

James’ eyebrows shoot up. “Merlin, you two are dark. Our Padfoot’s not putting out murderous vibes. He’s got too much boyish charm.” 

Sirius nods appreciatively, but Lily only shrugs, careful not to jostle Harry where he’s sleeping on her lap. “Girls have to think of those things.” 

“Gross,” James says, looking slightly troubled as he kisses the side of his wife’s head. “Well, I think she was in love with you, Pads.”

“Yeah,” Remus rolls his eyes, “he should show up at her house and find out. It’d be romantic.”

“And on that note,” James goes on, ignoring him, “shall we do presents?”

You all agree, and Sirius looks at James with an older brother’s entitlement. “Go ahead and distribute them, Prongsie.” 

James, well used to this, doesn’t even question it, scampering back and forth between the tree (which you can’t help but notice is somewhat lacking in the ornament department but quite sparkly) to deliver your presents at your feet. After a few rounds of this, you can’t stand it anymore and get up to help, laughing through the protests of your remaining three friends. (“He’s got it, love,” Remus says, and Sirius adds, “He’s got energy he needs to run off anyway.”) Between the two of you, the bottom of the Christmas tree is bare within a couple of minutes, small piles of presents next to each of your friends. You go to sit back by the pile meant for you, touched at the fact that you have a box from every person there. 

“S’not fair that James and Lily get to do couple’s presents now,” Sirius complains. “I’m going to start buying gifts for you like you’re one person, see how you like it.” 

The biggest pile is obviously for Harry, and you all start there, no small amount of eagerness in James’ expression as he tears open the first box. “The Velveteen Rabbit,” he reads aloud. “Wow, this is kinda hefty for a children’s book.” 

“Who’s it from?” Lily prompts, as if you don’t all already know. 

“Shit, I forgot to check.” 

“And that’s why we read the box,” Lily says slowly, and you get the sense this is a conversation that’s happened more than once, “before we start ripping, honey.” 

“It was me,” Remus volunteers, lips pulling into a half-smile. 

“Course it was,” James says, taking a break from sticking his tongue out at his wife to smile at Remus. “Thanks, Moony.” 

“You had the opportunity to get him Goodnight Moon,” Sirius tsks, “and you just let it pass you by.” 

Remus rolls his eyes, but then Lily says, “He already has that one,” and you watch as he tries and fails to suppress the shy smile that takes him. It shifts the scars on his cheek and lights his eyes with a warm tenderness. 

He looks especially pretty under the Christmas lights, you think. The warm glow suits him, bringing out the amber in his eyes and richening the various brown shades of his hair. It makes his skin look softer too, smooth even where you know he has stubble around his jawline. You want suddenly to reach out and touch it, and you’re glad you’re sitting too far from him to act on the urge. 

You’ve noticed Remus over the years, of course. It’d be impossible not to. You’ve always harbored a tiny crush on him, but you keep it shoved deep down in your gut where it can’t hurt anyone. You think the world of him, but you love your little group of friends more than anything else. You’re not unaware of the fact that Remus is a more crucial fixture in it than you are; if anything happened between you and it made things awkward for everyone, you’d be the one to go. 

“Aw, is this a hat?” Lily pulls something tawny brown from a box, and you realize they’ve gotten to your gift. “Oh my god, it has little antlers!”

You try not to smile too hard as she shows it to James and he coos, taking it from her hands. “No way, he’ll be like our little Prongsie! I’m going to put it on him.” 

“Don’t wake him,” Lily warns, but James waves her off.

“He can sleep through anything,” he says, settling the baby beanie on Harry’s head. Sure enough, he doesn’t stir. 

“Oh, that’s so darling.” Lily presses a hand to her chest. “Y/N, where’d you get this?”

You feel your face heat and hope the lighting is covering your blush. “I made it,” you admit. “I know we’re already well into winter, but I hope he can still use it a little.” 

“Um, he’s never taking it off. Like, ever.” James leans around Lily to press a smacking kiss to your cheek. You laugh, trying not to shrink in on yourself from all the attention. “Thanks, love.” 

Once all the cooing over Harry’s presents is done, the rest of the gift opening proceeds with decidedly less fanfare, though no shortage of gratitude. You get a bunch of purple eyeliners from Sirius (you’d complained to him a few weeks ago that they’d stopped selling your old one, and he’d been thoughtful enough to find you options to help decide upon new one), a cookbook from James and Lily (“Now you can stop eating all those frozen meals,” James tells you with a meaningful look), and a set of mittens from Remus (“They’re alpaca,” he explains. “Supposed to be extra warm, and your hands are always freezing.”). The rest of your gifts are received happily too, and then Remus’ living room is covered with the wrapping paper Lily had tried but eventually given up on getting everyone to put in piles as they went and you’re all starting to yawn. 

“Alright,” Lily says after a while, “it’s well past Harry’s bedtime, and ours, and I’m sure Remus would like his flat back.” 

“Booo.” Sirius lays back on the couch, letting his head loll over the edge of the armrest. “Domestic life has made you lame, Evans-Potter.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” James drawls, gathering Harry against his chest, “I saw you yawning, Pads. Let’s go.” 

You stand with the rest of them, going to find your shoes by the door. “Thanks for everything, Remus,” you say. “It was great.” 

“For a first time hosting,” James allows, jokingly prideful, “I suppose you did a pretty decent job. Big shoes to fill, and all that.” 

Remus smiles as he rolls his eyes, but it falters when his gaze settles on something behind you. “Are you all going to be alright getting home? It looks like it’s really picked up.” 

You follow his stare out the window. He’s not wrong. The unusually thick snowfall you’d arrived in has morphed into something that looks more like a blizzard, the wind whipping white across the black backdrop of sky outside Remus’ flat. 

James looks between the scene outside and his family once before seeming to make a decision. “Yeah, we’ll be alright,” he says, watching Lily as he talks. She nods her approval, and James’ voice becomes more solid. “We don’t have far to drive.”

Remus nods, still looking worried. His brows furrow as he turns to you. “What about you? Are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah.” It’s the only answer in these situations, though you’re sure Remus would be alright with the alternative if you felt very strongly. “It doesn’t look too bad out there.” 

Remus casts another dubious glance out the window, and a particularly loud gust of wind whooshes past as if to spite you. “Are you sure? It looks pretty bad to me.” 

“Yeah,” James says, “don’t you live a bit far?”

“It’s not that far,” you fib, at the same time as Remus says, “She does.” 

You laugh awkwardly, pulling on your coat “It’s not. Anyway, I’ve driven in a lot worse than this.”

Lily gives you a small smile. “That’s hardly reassuring, babe.”

“You can stay here,” Remus offers, but you’re shaking your head before he’s even gotten the words out. 

“That’s sweet of you, but I can make it home.” You give him your most competent smile. “If I end up driving off the road and have to camp in my car, at least I’ll have fantastic mittens to keep the frostbite from my hands.” 

He gives you a deadpan look. “While I’m glad you’re excited to use my gift, I’d prefer to keep it from coming to that.”

“You can’t get in a crash and die on Christmas,” Sirius says. “It’d be, like, a super huge downer for us every year.” 

“I’ll be fine,” you insist. 

“Shortcake, I don’t care if we have to lock you in here,” James says, frowning in a way that doesn’t look particularly tough when he’s swaying back and forth to rock Harry on his chest. “There’s no way you can drive all the way to your place in this.” 

You roll your eyes good-naturedly, wrapping your scarf.

“Okay, you know I would never usually say this,” Lily says, gnawing on her lip as she watches the snow blow past outside, “but I think you should listen to the boys. It looks too scary out there to drive that far.” 

“It’s…” You look between them, your argument dying of futility on your tongue. James seems prepared to blockade you in Remus’ flat, and even Lily’s giving you a stern look. Your gaze lands on Remus, and the last of your resistance melts away.

“You really should stay here,” he says kindly. “Actually, I’d feel a lot better if you did. Okay?”

You sigh, slipping your scarf back over your head. “Okay.” 

“Phew!” Sirius says, pulling you into a one-armed hug. “Glad that’s settled. See you all soon, thanks for Christmas Moony!” 

“He’s so tired,” Lily says after Sirius is out the door. 

“Wiped,” James agrees, adjusting his grip on Harry so that he can wrap one arm around Remus’ neck. Remus leans down into the awkward hug, begrudgingly fond as he pats his friend on the back, then kisses Lily on the cheek when James moves to you. 

“Thanks for the gifts,” James says, grinning down at Harry’s knit antlers after he releases you. “He’s never taking this off.” 

“He means it.” Lily sends her husband a look as fond as it is weary as she hugs you. “I’ll probably have to bathe Harry when James is asleep so he doesn’t catch him without it.” 

Your face is feeling hot again. “I’m glad you like it,” you say with a little shrug, but your friends are used to your shyness and only smile and wave on their way out. 

And then the door shuts, and you and Remus are left alone in the quiet. 

“Are you tired?” he asks you, moving back into the living room. Lily had sneakily taken care of a good deal of the cleanup, but there’s still a few half-empty glasses of eggnog strewn about which Remus begins gathering. 

“Not really,” you answer honestly, beating him to the sink and forcing him to hand you the glasses to wash. “Are you?”

“No,” he agrees, and the look he shoots you has to be the gentlest form malice has ever taken as he takes up the dish towel and stations himself beside you. “Fancy a film?”

“Mmm, a Christmas film?”

“Obviously.” 

The dishes are finished quickly thanks to Lily’s interference, and Remus makes you some hot cocoa while you scroll through movies, calling out possibilities. The only conflict between you is your equal complaisance to whatever the other prefers, and you eventually settle on the first one you’d seen just to put an end to it. You take your cocoa gladly when Remus passes it to you, blowing gently while he settles a blanket over the both of you, your knees curled towards him and his one leg crossed over the other angling him towards you. 

The first few minutes of the film are spent in that contented quietude that the two of you so often fall into when you’re alone together, but then Remus asks you, “What is it?”

You look over at him. “Hm?”

“You’re frowning.”

“Oh.” You laugh. “I’m just thinking about snow.” 

His lips quirk. “It is kind of the bane of your existence tonight, isn’t it?”

“No.” You smile down at your hands, hoping it's not obvious how not unpleasant you find your circumstances at the moment. “That’s not it. I was thinking, I kind of hate how it always has to snow in these movies. It makes any Christmas where it doesn’t snow feel like it’s not up to par. Or not quintessential enough, or something.”

“Mmm, I see.” Remus looks back to the screen, considering. “Does that make this your quintessential Christmas, then? Are we living up to the movie standard?”

You watch him while he watches the TV, blue light cast over his handsome features. “I guess so,” you say.

The longer you sit there, the closer you get. You blame it on the late hour, your bodies relaxing towards each other on the couch. Remus’ arm brushes yours when he lifts his mug for a sip, and your knees dig into his thigh under the blanket. Soon you’ve drooped enough that you’re leaning nearly entirely against him. You don’t notice until Remus puts an arm around you to encourage your head to his shoulder. You tense but don’t sit up, and eventually his head comes to rest atop yours. 

“Are you crying?” he murmurs during one scene near the end. 

Your reply is equally soft, not wanting to jostle either Remus’ head or his shoulder with your speech movements. “I really like this part.” 

“You know how it ends. It’s going to be okay.” 

“I know.” You sniffle, bringing a hand up to wipe your face now that you’ve been caught. “I know it is. It’s just really profound.” 

“Sure it is.”

“It’s the spirit of Christmas, Remus. Goodwill to man.” 

“Okay.” He rubs your shoulder, and you pretend not to feel his shaking with quiet laughter. “Okay, I agree with you.” 

And awhile later: “You’re tired,” he accuses.

You hum a denial.

“Sweetheart” —your stomach flutters, and there’s a jolt somewhere behind your ribcage; you ignore it— “you’re practically falling asleep right here.”

“Are you tired?” 

He shifts slightly, stubble tickling your forehead. “No. But you are.” 

“I want to finish the movie.” 

He seems to debate this for a moment, then his shoulder relaxes beneath you. “Alright.” 

The credits start, and neither of you move. 

You let your head slump more heavily onto his shoulder. “Your place really does look lovely. Thanks for having me.”

“Of course, love.” You can feel his smile squish up against the top of your head. “Would you go so far as to say my hosting measures up to James’?”

You chuckle, gesturing to yourself. “I’d say you’ve gone above and beyond, for sure.” 

Remus laughs too. “Perfect. Tell him so, would you?”

You’re going to agree when a great yawn takes you. You keep it quiet, but there’s no avoiding the way your chin digs into Remus’ shoulder, your shoulders rising with the prolonged inhale. He moves away from you. 

“Ready for bed?” He smiles down at you as you run a knuckle under your eyes, collecting tears from your lashes. 

You shrug an admittance. “Sort of. But I don’t want to kick you out of your own living room if you’re not tired yet.”

“No, I’m pretty wiped too,” he says. “Anyway, I’m the one kicking you out. You’re staying in my room.” 

You had a feeling he would say something like that. You grab a throw pillow, getting situated with your head near the armrest. “No, I’m not.” 

His laugh is disbelieving. “Yeah, you are. Come on, you’re my guest. I’m not letting you sleep on the couch.” 

You tug the blanket off his lap, curling up with your pillow stubbornly. “I’m not going to steal your bed. You’ve already done so much. You’ve helped me try gingerbread cookies and given me nice mittens and hosted an amazing Christmas. Let me sleep on your couch, please.” 

“While I appreciate all that,” he says, “no.” 

“Remus.” You’re near pleading at this point. “Your back will hurt.”

“Your back will hurt.” 

“Not as badly as yours.” You give him a hard look. “I’m not taking your bed.” 

There’s a brief silence, terser than your usual ones but no more awkward for it. You stare each other down. 

“Right,” Remus says, reclaiming the remote from where he’d set it on the coffee table. “I suppose we’d better start another movie, then.”

“Remus, come on.” You sit up, giving his shoulder a gentle nudge. “You’ve just said you’re tired. Go to bed, please.”

The TV flickers back on. “I’m not leaving this couch.” 

“Well, neither am I,” you laugh, completely serious. 

He rolls his eyes, then snuggles up to you under the blanket. You take this as a sign that he’s not really very cross with you. “You’re much more argumentative than usual tonight, you know that?”

You huff, laying your head back on his shoulder. “I could say the same about you.” 

“True, but I know I’ll win out in the end.” 

“You can think that if you like.” 

“Want to watch this one next?”

“Sure.”

❆ ❆ ❆

Remus watches as your eyes drift closed, then twitch back open, over and over again. He thinks his bony shoulder is the only thing keeping you from falling over the precipice of sleep. If he were James Potter, he’d simply pick you up with ease and carry you to his bed, but Remus can’t say he’s entirely sorry for this extra time with you, even if neither of you are awake enough to make much conversation.

Silly as it sounds, he enjoys just sitting here with you nearly as much as talking. Your cheek squished into his shoulder, your legs curled up atop his, you’re warm and weighty against him. 

He should have known it would be a hopeless endeavor trying to get you to agree to take the bed. You’re a gentle thing by nature, but stubborn in your selflessness. Even if you had gone, Remus knows he wouldn’t have slept all night anyway, too preoccupied with thoughts of you all wrapped up in his sheets, your face pressed to his pillow, getting your shampoo-smell on the pillowcase. He doesn’t know if it smells like him (does he have a smell?), but he would have wondered all night if it does, if you were noticing. 

Your head nearly rolls off his shoulder, and a pitying sound escapes Remus when you jerk awake to set it right. He lets his head rest on yours so it doesn’t happen again. Your eyelids droop closed almost immediately, and Remus begins dragging his thumb over your shoulder blade, a nice, slow back-and-forth. You’re quiet for a long while. 

“Are you trying to put me to sleep?” you murmur, words all sloshed together. 

It’s a conscious effort not to let his thumb slow. “No,” he says. 

You hum. 

“Unless you mean it’s working.” 

Another long silence. “It’s not,” you reply, head growing heavier on his shoulder.  

He chuckles. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you to bed, hm?” 

“You go to bed,” you mumble, and if he thought you were capable of it he’d say there was some bitterness lining your words. 

He sighs. “You’re too nice for your own good,” he tells you. 

“No,” you reply, softly, plainly, like it’s a fact, “that’s you.” 

He picks his head up off of yours to see your face. “Yeah?” 

“Mhm.” Your eyes are closed. You don’t know he’s looking. Your face is wholly relaxed, no hint of pretense about you. “You’re the best I know.” 

Something warm and wheedling works its way through Remus’ ribs to the soft gooey core of him. “Well,” he tells you honestly, “you’re the best I know.”

You seem unconcerned. “Another impasse for us.” 

He actually laughs at that, instantly guilty when it jostles you on his shoulder and your eyelids peel apart. He can’t regret it, though, when you look at him the way you do. You’re glowing in the light coming off the tree, soft and warm and lovely, and yet you’re looking at him like he’s the only place your eyes want to go. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world. 

You come gradually more awake, eyebrows twitching towards each other just slightly. “Remus,” you murmur, and he finally does what he’s been wanting to since you’d shown up at his door hours ago. He kisses you. 

Your lips are pliable, parting for his almost instantly, like you’d been waiting. His hand coasts from your shoulder to cup the back of your head, keeping you close as your nose slides against his. You both all but fall back onto the bed you’d made yourself on the couch. He’s careful not to put too much of his weight on you, but when his tongue brushes across the inside of your lip and you inhale, he draws back. 

“I...” He pants into the space between you. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t—”

You make a sound that’s half hum, half whine, and bump your chin up into his. 

Remus loses himself again with frightening quickness. It’s even better now that you seem more sure, your mouth asking, coaxing against his. You taste like gingerbread. An low, embarrassing sound pries free from the back of his throat when you wind your fingers into the hair at his nape, and he slips his free hand beneath your back, getting as close to you as he can. Your legs make room for him automatically, knees tipping open so he can slot between them.

“Do you—” you breathe when his attentions move downward, tilting your head to the side to offer access as he mouths at the skin just under your jaw. “Do you want this?” 

The word leaves him in a soft exhale, muffled against your skin. “Yes.”

You swallow. He feels the movement in your throat. “Are you sure?”

His eyelashes brush your jaw as his kisses slow, become more tender, more intentional. “Lovely girl,” he murmurs. “You’re silly, you know that?” His mouth meanders it’s way over to your pulse, getting stuck there and sucking at your skin lazily. “I mean, you’re smart.” The words are all mushed up against you. Noticeably amused. Remus quit the eggnog hours ago, yet he feels half drunk. “You’re really smart, honey, but you can be so oblivious sometimes.” 

You don’t respond, and as much as he loves the sound of your voice, he’s hoping your silence is in his favor right now. He wants you wrapped up in him, wants to engross you so completely you forget how to form your lips around speech. 

“Do you want to move to my room?” 

You take a breath. Fuck, even the sound of you breathing is nearly enough to undo him. He moves back to your mouth as if to intercept it, nipping at your lower lip. 

“Is this a ploy to get me off the couch?” 

“You’re relentless.”

Your lips curve against his, and he mirrors them without thinking. You stay quiet.

“Fine. I promise it’s not, okay?” 

Your laugh is fizzy like champagne, and it warms Remus’ chest like it too. “Okay,” you say in that lovely voice. “Okay, let’s go.” 

❆ ❆ ❆

You’d always thought Remus was all softness. He’s made up of soft looks, soft colors, and hair that you can now confirm is soft as dandelion fluff. But this night has defied your expectations in a thousand ways. And your Remus, soft, gentle, kindhearted Remus, is scraping at your throat with his teeth. 

You have to suck your lip between your teeth to keep from making a humiliatingly desperate sound when he passes his tongue over his work, another crescent moon that’s sure to be purple by morning. Your hands are beseeching in his dandelion fluff hair, keeping him close while his hands are busy lower, one gripping the fat of your hip while the other drags tantalizingly slow up and down your side. He’s kissing you like you have all the time in the world, sometimes rough but no more urgent for it, and you’re breathy and molten and useless beneath him. 

You’re brimming with adoration and something else too. Something that you think you could almost identify—you’ve felt it before, but never like this. 

“What do you want to do?” There’s a raspy quality to his voice that would send you to your knees if he hadn’t already taken them out from under you. He dots leisurely, open-mouthed kisses up the column of your throat, soothing over spots he’s already nipped and sucked into oblivion. Your head feels fuzzy. “Sweetheart?” 

Christ, is he trying to send you into cardiac arrest? Remus doesn’t stop kissing you even at your silence, finding your lip still held between your teeth and encouraging it free with his own. You try to remember what he’d ask you. What do you want to do? You have no idea. Where would you even start? You want him to keep talking to you in that raspy voice, that’s for sure. You want…you want to keep kissing him, to know what his hands would do if you let them beneath your clothes. You want to keep investigating that warm feeling in your gut. See where it takes you. 

Remus’ kisses slow, then stop. He pulls back to look at you. In the dim street light coming in through the window, you wonder what he sees. “You alright?” His voice is soft, gentle, saying it’s okay if you’re not without saying it. 

You take a breath. It shakes a little on the way out, but you don’t think he can tell. “Yeah, I’m good. Just nervous. But not in a bad way.” Nervous-happy. 

“Don’t be,” he implores, lips brushing your cheek. “It’s only me.”

Exactly, you think. It’s you. 

“What do you want to do?” You turn his own question back on him. 

His smile is tinged with bashfulness. “I mean, whatever you’re alright with.” There’s a tentative quietness to his voice. “Have you…”

If it were possible for you to get any warmer, embarrassment would do it. “No,” you say, shrinking away from him though there’s nowhere to go. Whatever the end to that question might be, the answer is no. 

“That’s okay,” he says quickly, dropping another kiss on the corner of your mouth like a cure-all remedy. “That’s okay, you just tell me if you want to stop, yeah? If you don’t like something, or you want to slow down—anything at all, you let me know.” He kisses you again, further up on your burning cheek. “Okay?” 

You swallow. “Okay.” 

“Don’t be nervous.” He says it like a promise, hand stroking your side again as if to soothe you. His lips find your shoulder, nosing the fabric of your sleeve. “Can I take this off, lovely?” 

You nod, words all stoppered up in your throat, then realize he can’t see you and do it yourself. He has to pause as it comes off, taking the opportunity to do away with his own sweater, tossing it on the floor beside the bed. You do the same, and your bra quickly follows. You’d always thought (largely influenced, admittedly, by trashy novels) that this was the part where the guy stops what he’s doing and openly oggles the shirtless woman in front of him, but Remus has seen tits before and wastes no time in getting his mouth back on yours, pressing you into the mattress. His skin is as heated as yours, the areas where you touch deliciously warm despite the cold still whipping past his bedroom window. You allow yourself one sweeping, appreciative pass over the muscles on Remus’ back before your hands go down to your bottoms, shimmying them down your legs. A long-fingered hand finds the exposed skin of your thigh and kneads reverently. You swallow Remus’ groan, and he kisses you more deeply, long, savoring passes of his tongue along the inside of your mouth until his lips move downward. 

One hand stays at your hip while the other strokes up and down your thigh, spit cooling in a path down your stomach. You try to relax as he passes your navel, but the anticipation is hard to shake. You’re nearly trembling when he kneels between your legs, kissing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. 

“Is this okay?” he murmurs. 

It’s all you can do to nod, gasping when his teeth drag over one of the stretch marks there. You clutch at the sheets above your head like a lifeline. 

“We can stop anytime you want.” 

You inhale raggedly. “No,” you manage. Your breathlessness is obvious in the quiet room. “I want—I want to keep going.” You pause. “Do you?”

You can hear the smile in his voice. “Yeah, love, that sounds good to me.” 

Good, you’re about to say, but Remus’ next kiss lands on your slit, and your voice withers and dies in your throat. He uses a hand to push one of your legs open further while bringing the other over his shoulder, spreading you open. His breath fans hot over your cunt.

You’re writhing at the first broad stroke of his tongue, and he wraps his fingers around the outside of your thigh, keeping you still while placating you at the same time. 

Remus takes his time, lapping experimentally at your entrance before making his way upwards. You gasp as his tongue skims over your clit, burrowing your hand in his hair before hesitating. 

“Is this okay?” you ask. 

His hummed assent has you tightening your grasp. He brushes over your clit one more time, and when this gets a similar reaction from you, begins sucking on it gently. You’re panting, and Remus has to move his grip to your hip to hold you in place, squeezing indulgently at the fat there while he narrows in on what you like. Before long you’re trembling all over, grasping feebly at his hair as you squeeze your eyes shut against the odd sort of bliss that’s taking you under. 

“Remus,” you breathe, and it’s a miracle that he hears you but he does, raising his head with a lewd suctioning sound. 

He looks at you questioningly with eyes almost all pupil. 

“Come here,” you plead. 

He obeys, crawling back up you to peck at your bitten lips. “Doing alright?” he asks you.

“Yeah,” you promise, cupping his head in one hand and wrapping your leg over the back of his as if to prevent him from leaving. “Just wanted to kiss you.” 

You feel him smile against your lips. He slots his mouth over yours, and you dedicate yourself to his top lip. He tastes like sex, braver now as he explores your mouth. He drags your bottom lip between his teeth, and you make a high, breathy sound. His grip on you tightens. 

“Do you think—can we—”

He hesitates, kissing softly at the corner of your lips. “Are you sure?” 

“I want to. Do you?” 

Remus actually laughs, muffling the sound against your cheek. “Yeah, I fucking want to. I’ve wanted to forever.” 

You can’t think about that. Think about that and you’ll fall to pieces. 

He noses affectionately at the underside of your jaw, slipping down you once again to stand at the end of the bed. He steps out of his pants and grabs a condom from the drawer of his nightstand. “You’ll tell me if I do anything you don’t like, yeah?” 

“Mhm,” you promise, anticipation coiling up snugly with that other thing in your stomach. They don’t feel all that distinct from one another. 

“Alright,” he says, palm slipping under your thigh. “Can I lift this up, love?” 

You nod, and he grasps the soft underside of your knee, bringing your leg up to your stomach as he lines up. You gasp as he pushes in slowly, watching your face to make sure you’re doing okay. You’re already slick and worked open from his ministrations, and it’s still a bit shocking. His thumb strokes beside your knee as your walls adjust to the size of him. “How’s that feel?” 

“Good,” you say honestly. There’s a note of desperation to your voice. “I can—more, please.” 

He’s quick to accommodate you, pushing deeper as he folds himself over you to recapture your lips. Your breaths shallow. His free hand moves to your breast, kneading gently at the soft flesh. He gives it a firm squeeze at the same time as he moves inside you, and you nearly bite Remus’ lip off, a half-suppressed keening sound escaping you. 

“So good,” he mumbles. “You’re doing so good, sweetheart. Taking it so well.” He lifts his head, kissing your temple. “Think you can handle a bit more?” 

Your response is barely more than breath, but he catches the affirmation, pressing another firm kiss to your forehead before he bottoms out inside you. Your head lolls back, fuzzy with the strange pain and even stranger pleasure. Remus tightens his grip on your leg to keep it up, dotting kisses down the side of your face. 

“Good girl,” he says hoarsely. “Still doing okay, lovely?” 

“Yeah,” you say, somewhat dizzy. “Remus, it feels so good.” 

“Good,” he croons. “It should feel good, love. Ready for me to move?”

“Mhm.”

He pulls out slowly, dragging against your sensitive walls. He starts mouthing at your neck again before he pushes back inside you, filling you up all over again. A slew of expletives roll out of your mouth, unbidden and entirely unlike you, as Remus begins pumping your breast again, the rhythm matching that of his thrusts. He sucks the flesh of your neck between his teeth, and you bite down hard on your lower lip to repress what promises to be a high-pitched and deeply mortifying sound. 

Remus praises you amply, soft kisses and reverent touches and a raspy “Fuck, sweetheart, just like that.” Your head floats or swims or both, your body tensed all over and yet completely plaint beneath Remus’ hands. He moves back to your mouth, discovering your bottom lip held captive between your teeth. 

“Come on, don’t do that,” he chides, easing it free with gentle kisses. “Let me hear you, bet you sound so pretty.” 

The Welsh accent that’s grown faint after years of living away from home is emerging now, as is the crude vocabulary it's tied to in memory, a host of barely comprehensible profanities spewing from Remus’ lips when you clench on him again. His grip tightens on your tit, and a moan tears from the back of your throat. 

“That’s it,” he praises, head dipping to kiss the soft spot he’s found under your ear. “There you are, lovely girl.” 

The coil in your core grows impossibly tighter, your thighs quivering as you approach a peak you’ve never known before. Remus feels it, cooing softly even as he drives into you harder.

“You gonna cum, sweetheart?” You nod dazedly. “Good, good, just let it happen, I’ve got you.” 

“Come here,” you demand again, and he wastes no time in obliging you. He kisses your lips sore as you dig your nails into his shoulders, pulling his body flush against yours, the feeling inside you growing so great you don’t know where to put it, don’t know if you can contain it. You can’t remember ever feeling this close to someone, Remus’ touch the only thing keeping you from hurtling off some unknown precipice.

“Let go,” he urges, and you do. You trust him to catch you. 

It’s bliss like you’ve never known. You cry out, and Remus’ hand slides down from your breast to spread wide and flat against your ribs. Steadying. He kisses soothingly at your jaw as you gasp and pant your way back to him, grip slackening on his shoulders. 

“Good girl,” he murmurs, though you really haven’t done much at all. 

“Are you—” You swallow, choking on the emotion that’s risen unbidden in your throat. “Are you close?” 

Remus smiles, coming back to your lips like he can’t help himself. He pecks you once, twice. “Sweetheart, I’m more than close. I’ve barely been holding myself together since you kissed me.” 

Well, he’d actually kissed you, but you’ll take the compliment anyway. 

“Do you think you’ll be alright if I move again?” he asks. “It’s okay if not.” 

“You can,” you say certainly, leaning up on your elbows to see him better. “Is there…anything I can do to help?”

The smile fades from his face, leaving something far more tender in its wake. “Just, keep looking at me like that?” He says it almost like he’s embarrassed, voice quiet with supplication. 

You want to tell him you’d never needed asking to look at him, but you don’t, keeping your eyes on his obediently as he pumps into you. He really must have been close, because he’s cursing again not long after, accent twisting his syllables with a gruff pleasure. Your walls contract at the movement, still sensitive, and that’s all it takes. Remus digs his fingers into your waist and makes sounds you’re sure you’ll dream about, panting, breathy moans you sit up to smother against your lips. He follows you back down onto the mattress, mouth slotted against your own. You hold him to you until his breaths even and his grip on you loosens. 

“Was that alright?” he asks, some of the rasp still lingering in his voice. 

You can’t help the laugh that escapes you, dizzy with affection. “Yeah, it was good,” you promise him. Understatement of the year. “Really good, Rem.” 

“Good,” he echoes, lips brushing the skin under your eye. You don’t know how you know, but you can feel the amusement building in him just before he asks, “Tired yet?”

You guffaw. The force of it jostles him on top of you, and his lips curve against your cheek. “A little bit, yeah.” Actually, you hadn’t realized how exhausting sex would be. If it didn’t mean having to take your eyes off Remus, you’d have closed them and passed out by now. 

“Good,” he says again, hands sliding down your waist as he moves to stand again. You make a small sound as he shifts, and Remus shushes you, slipping out from inside you. You watch fascinatedly as he removes the condom, sticky with cum. He tosses it in the wastebasket under his desk and walks away from you.

“Hey,” you protest. “You’d better not be sneaking off to sleep on the couch.” 

His chuckle echoes in the bathroom, followed by the sound of a cabinet opening. “So mistrustful,” he says when he comes back in with a damp towel. “What’ve I done to arouse such suspicion?” 

Your fuzzy brain gets stuck on the word arouse in his teasing tone, and it takes you a second to answer. “Well, I’m here and a blink away from falling asleep, so you tell me.” 

“Fair enough.” He rolls his eyes good-naturedly, taking your thigh in his grasp to move it aside. “Alright if I clean you up, love?” 

You startle, coming up on your elbows to see where Remus is holding the towel between your legs. “I didn’t realize it’d be so messy,” you admit. “You don’t have to, though, I can do it myself.” 

“I don’t mind,” he says, thumb soothing over your knee. “S’my mess anyway.” He seems to have not quite agreed with himself to say that last part aloud, a blush spreading over his cheeks. 

“Sure,” you say, mostly to alleviate his embarrassment. You let your weight lean more heavily on your elbows, trying your best to look relaxed. “Sure, if you’re alright with it.” 

“Might be a bit sensitive,” he warns. You’d guessed as much, but it's worth it for all the praises he rains down upon you as he works, finishing with a kiss to the side of your knee. 

You miss him humiliatingly when he goes to the bathroom again to discard the towel. It’s all you can do not to reach for him when he comes back, but luckily Remus reads your mind anyway, slipping under the covers and tugging you to him until his lips rest against your forehead. 

“That was really great,” you tell him. 

“I thought so too.” 

“You’ll stay here, right?” 

A low laugh. “Yeah, sweetheart. I’m staying here.” 

❆ ❆ ❆

Remus hasn’t known anyone to sleep in longer than Sirius, but you seem to be vying for his title. The sun has long since passed above his windows when Remus wakes, and still he has time to spend idle hours marveling at the closeness of you. His nose is cold above the covers, but everywhere your bodies are pressed together is warm, your palm flat against his chest and one of your legs wormed between his own. Your fingers twitch as you dream. 

It has to be early afternoon by the time he rises, slipping his hand carefully from beneath you and plodding into the kitchen. The blanket is still on the couch where you left it, throw pillow creased with your indentation. Your mugs are discarded on the coffee table with globs of once-hot cocoa stuck to the bottom. Bright light refracts off the snow outside and into his kitchen, making everything look shiny new. 

Remus starts the kettle first, letting that warm up while he rifles through the cabinets for his big mixing bowl and starts whisking together ingredients. A bird chirps outside as the kettle gurgles, and somehow the peace of Remus’ kitchen feels more complete knowing that you’re sleeping just down the hall. 

Until, apparently, you’re not. Your footsteps are so silent he startles when you appear, still blinking yourself awake as you cross your arms over the sweater you’ve thrown on with your bottoms from the night before. Remus’ sweater. And Remus had thought he’d come to terms with the idea of you here, in his apartment like the best Christmas gift of all time, but apparently not, because his heart stutters and stops at the sight of you. 

He’d thought you’d looked adorable in the soft glow of the Christmas lights the night before, and again tucked into his sheets this morning, but you’re almost ethereal now. Sunlight bathes the planes of your face and gleams off your hair, making you appear almost like you’re emanating the bright light rather than standing in it. You smile at him, seraphim. 

“Morning. Sorry I didn’t ask,” you say, fingering the hem of Remus’ sweater. “I was cold and you were gone, I hope you don’t mind.” 

Mind? Remus can’t even think. 

“Course not,” he manages, but just barely. It’s more an exhale than a statement. “Did you sleep alright?” 

“Really well,” you say. His sleeves cover your fingers as you rest your elbows on the counter, and your gaze has gone a bit shy again, but Remus can hardly blame you. You both seemed to have experienced unusual nerve the night before. He only hopes you aren’t regretting your part in it. And now that he’s had some time to think, he hopes even more that you’d truly wanted it in the first place. “Did you?” 

“Yeah, thanks.”

You lean a bit closer in a way that he doubts either of you are even slightly unaware of, peering into the mixing bowl. “What’re you making?” 

“I’m experimenting,” he says, though he wishes now he weren’t. He wanted to make you something good, but his confidence in his adaptation is waning now that you’re in the room. He should have gone with something basic, tried-and-true. “Or, I’m attempting. Gingerbread pancakes?” 

His voice crawls up into a question, as if he really has no idea what it is he’s trying to make (maybe that’s closer to the truth), but Remus’ regrets vanish instantly at the genuine elation that lights your expression. 

“Really?” 

A laugh startles out of him, giddy. “Yeah, does that sound alright?” 

“More than alright,” you declare with full seriousness, seating yourself at the bar counter. “That sounds amazing, Rem, thank you. Merlin, I owe you so big for all of this.” 

“I think you’ve more than made it up to me.” It slips out without permission, Remus too high on the flow of your conversation to filter the words through his brain before they reach his mouth. His loathsome, traitorous mouth. “I mean, I’m sorry—fuck, that sounds awful—I only meant that I’ve had a really good time with you here. I’m glad you stayed.” 

You flush horribly, and Remus doesn’t expect he’s faring much better. 

“Not that I’m only glad because of—or, I’m always glad to have you. As a friend, too.” 

There’s a tiny pinch in your features, gone before he can diagnose it. Somehow, you seem even more uncomfortable. “Right.” You give him a thin smile. It’s a hearty attempt, but you’re too genuine a soul to fake it. Remus hates himself for it. “As a friend.” 

They’re his own words, put hearing them from your mouth and with that piss-poor smile feels like having a fire poker jammed between his ribs. 

With his track record this morning, he really should be taking a vow of silence, but he can’t seem to stop himself. “Just friends, then?” Hesitance makes his voice sound quiet even in the silent kitchen. He looks down, stirring the batter to avoid watching the answer take form on your face. 

“I mean,” your tone is a match to his, “is that what you want?” 

A short, soft laugh escapes him. “I think I made what I want fairly clear last night.” 

There’s a short silence. “I thought I did too.” 

It’s a conscious effort to keep stirring. Had you? Remus had kissed you, he’d brought you to his room, he’d been the one to ask if you wanted to do more. And you’d been game for it all, sure, but he can’t help but wonder if you were just going along with it. If maybe you’d thought it was just a fuck, something he’d come up with to pass the time while you were both snowed in, no strings attached. Remus could understand that. He could disentangle the strings from last night if it’s what you want. But he’s liked you for years. He could love you oh so easily. He’s practically teetering on the edge of it already, though you’ve only been friends all this time. 

Remus spoons some batter into a waiting pan on the stove. He’s debating asking what exactly it is that you thought you’d made clear when you speak again. 

“I understand if it’s too much for you.” Your voice is shy. He looks up, and your shoulders are hunched as if you’re trying to hide yourself. You shrink further under his gaze. “We can stay just friends if it’s…if that’s what you want. I want whatever’s easier for you.” Your next words are so impossibly soft, Remus has to strain to hear them over the low sizzling of the pancake batter. “I really want you to stay in my life.” 

“What?” It’s a staccato, loud enough that it surprises you both, Remus stepping toward you while you nearly flinch back. “Sorry.” His hand goes up, reaching into the space between you as if he can soothe you from feet away. He lowers his volume. “Sorry, sweetheart, I just—I didn’t realize that was even on the table. I would never want to not be in your life.” 

“I just mean that I don’t want to make things weird for you, or for everyone else—”

“Hey.” He manages to cross the distance this time, his hand landing on your wrist atop the counter. Remus isn’t sure why he needs it there so desperately, but he suddenly feels much better. “There is nothing that could make any of us not want to be friends with you. I can speak for everyone in that regard. Okay?” 

You look at him consideringly for a moment. Remus holds your stare, letting you see his certainty. “Okay,” you echo, sounding unsure. He’ll deal with that later, he decides.

“Okay,” he says once more, and it’d almost be firm if it weren’t so gentled by the tenderness he can never seem to get rid of around you. Even so, what he says next doesn’t sound particularly tender. It’s not very kind to you, he knows, but Remus is selfish, and he feels (selfishly) like he’s done his part already. He tries to phrase it as nicely as he can. “Can you tell me what it is that you want, please?” 

You try to shrink again, and Remus’ grip tightens on your wrist instinctually as if to keep you from running off. He swipes his thumb over your skin apologetically. “Remus, come on.” You sound almost upset, but it’s hard to tell with your voice so quiet. “I know I’m not that good at—at covering myself up. I must have hearts in my eyes half the time I look at you.” 

Remus would give a month’s rent to know what you can see in his eyes right now. Even if he’d been hoping for an answer something like that, he hadn’t expected it. And for you to act like it’s been obvious…he does his best to think back. 

You’ve always been a shy thing. It had taken James months to get you to be remotely yourself around them, and though you’d seemed to warm to Remus first, you’d always retained some of your bashfulness when you were alone together. He’d chalked it up to the result of two people, quiet by nature, with no wildly extroverted James or Sirius or Lily to run interference. 

You’ve always been kind to him, but you’re kind to everyone. How is anyone supposed to suspect favoritism from a soul as indiscriminately sweet as yours? 

He recalls your voice last night, thin and reedy and fragile as the cattails that had bordered the river behind his house as a kid. Wary of getting swept along by the current, but willing to go if Remus would take you. Do you want this?

He’d called you oblivious for asking. How could you wonder, when he’d been the one to kiss you and has probably been looking like he wanted to for years? He’s certainly been thinking about it for as long. But perhaps your obliviousness is another congruity between the two of you. 

So much for opposites attract. 

“I think I’m an idiot,” he says, and mercifully, a smile far more real than the last sneaks onto your face. 

“You are not,” you reply, ever forgiving. 

“Don’t tell Sirius,” he warns, “but I really think I am.” His voice drops into a more earnest register. “I had no idea, love, I’m sorry. Maybe you’re a better actress than you thought. But if you don’t want to be friends, I don’t want to either.” Remus hesitates. “Or, I always want to be your friend, just—”

“Remus?” 

Finally. Someone needs to stop him. “Yeah?” 

“Your pancake…”

He turns to find a thin spire of smoke rising from the pan. “Oh, fuck.” He grabs a spatula and quickly flips the pancake, but there’s no saving it. The bottom side is completely blackened. It’s inedible. “Sorry, I…I’m not sure I have enough batter for much more.” 

“It’s fine.” There’s laughter in your tone, and that’s more than enough to make up for it. “It was a really sweet thought, that’s what matters anyway.” 

Remus turns to find you’ve slipped out of your seat and are standing uncertainly on the threshold of the kitchen. His heart warms with incandescent, aching fondness. 

“Would you come here?” he asks. 

You comply with an eagerness he wonders he’s never noticed before, stepping forward to let him fold you into his arms. Your wrists cross over his mid back and the tip of his nose mushes into your hair as he touches his lips to the top of your head. He can’t believe he could have been holding you like this all along if only he hadn’t been so thick. He supposes he’ll have to make the most of it now. 

“Let’s do away with asking about want, does that sound alright?” He rubs lightly between your shoulder blades, wonders if you like the feel of his breath on your scalp. “How about you tell me if anything comes up that you don’t want, and I’ll do the same.”

“Yeah.” Remus knows he likes the feel of your voice on his skin, chin moving against his chest. “Yeah, that sounds good.” 

“Good.” He smiles, pressing another kiss to your head. “Okay, should we venture out to find something for breakfast? Or lunch, I suppose it is by now.” 

You ease out of his arms. “I really should go home.” There’s an apology already embedded in your tone, but you add one anyway. “Sorry, but my cat’s been there all night by herself, so…”

“Right.” Remus ignores the dull throb behind his sternum, which is really a bit dramatic. He’ll see you soon, surely. “Yeah, that makes sense. Think you’ll be able to drive?” 

“I mean, I looked outside.” You shrug, backing towards where you’d hung your coat the night before. “The roads here are cleared, which I hope means they’ve gotten to most of them already.” 

“That’s good,” he says, though he feels the opposite. Your poor cat, he’s pitted completely against her now. She’s done nothing to deserve the resentment he’s directing at her, almost petulant in his malcontent. “Good, good.” 

You’re both silent as you put on your shoes, your scarf. It’s not unusual for the two of you, but it lacks its usual easy contentedness. Your eyes flit up as you pull on your new gloves, a silent thanks in them that you know Remus won’t let you voice aloud again. Despite the upset in his chest, he smiles. 

“I…listen, I have to go home,” you tell him, looking down as you wriggle your fingers more snugly into the gloves. “I have to feed my cat. But that doesn’t necessarily mean I want to…leave.” 

Remus can’t see how that changes anything, but he recognizes it for the olive branch it is. You’re both so uncertain, and you’re trying to alleviate his worries about what you leaving right now means. He can return the favor. 

“I don’t want you to leave either,” he says, “but I get it. She seems important to you, best to keep her well.” 

“Exactly.” You smile, relieved. “But I mean, if you’re not doing anything, you could come meet her? We could pick up breakfast on the way. Or I could make you something there.” 

Remus can’t believe his luck. And, once again, his stupidity in not getting there himself. Why is it that all of a sudden, everything that has to do with you seems so absurdly difficult? At least one of you is thinking clearly. 

“Yeah, that would be fantastic.” He’s grinning hugely, totally unlike him but liking it very much. “Let me grab my coat.” 

“Wait.” There’s a newly familiar breathless quality to your voice, and when Remus turns you’re already coming forward to meet him. Your palm slides against the stubble along his jaw as you stretch your neck, kissing him sweetly on the lips. “There,” you say, timidity shrouded beneath a good layer of happiness, “now we’re even.” 

Remus laughs, loud and startled. He wants to be generous with you, he really does, but he still thinks you’re far from even. “I’m not sure about that, sweetheart,” he says warmly, pressing a brief kiss to the corner of your eyebrow, “but we'll get there.” 

[ioniansunsets]

✖ Heartsteel Boys and Their Love ✖

[[I was inspired and then I got too lazy to proofread. I hope this leaves a warm feeling in your chest! I guess these are headcanons?]]

Kayn loves you like a storm. Passionate, explosive, and mad. Emotions high, he is passionate about loving you. Grand gestures and even grander proclamations. His love was names shouted out from rooftops that the two of you aren't allowed to be on. Loud noises of excitement whenever he sees you. The little yelps he makes when you surprise him at concerts. It's the happy shouts as he waves at you from the stage, arm thrown up high before he points right at you. His love is the excited smiles as he runs up to you whenever you meet, full speed, almost a tackle. It is the loud laughter as you watch him do absolutely insane shit. The laughter of someone truly in love as he spends time joking around with you. Kayn loves you like a storm. Loud, fast, exciting. Kayn's love is wild and overwhelming. It is the thunder and lighting, the whirling winds and cold rain. It is the way he'll pick you up at your place and drive you to impromptu dates. Teasing the speed limit while blasting songs out loud while the two of you stick your heads out the window. It’s the way he would fill your room with balloons on your birthday and hand you a knife to pop them all with right after. Or jump you with a present you mentioned wanting just a day before. It’s the way he would drag you to the studio to jam out when you needed a pick me up. It was the way his kisses leave you breathless, and his smile sends electricity down your spine. His love was wild. His love was free. His love was a storm.

Ezreal loves you like it is the first day of spring. Bright, sunny, and undeniably warm but not too hot. His love is in the way he chuckles like a flower blooming for the first time whenever he sees you. His kisses like the first warm breeze of the season, chaste and leaving you wanting more. Ezreal's love is in the way he blinks into your life. Taking cute photos together at a photobooth. It's the way he holds your hand as he runs through the streets. It's the way he would mess your hair up and run away, baiting you into chasing him. It was the way he would sneak you into a school late at night, kissing you under the bleachers like it is your first love. His love was the way he'd pick you up and skateboard down the street, whisking you away to do something fun. His love was the wink he’d throw your way when he spots you in the concert crowd. Ezreal loves you like it is the first day of spring. Sparkling, colorful, new. Ezreal's love is like the way you hear birds coming back from the winter. It is how he would whisper you cringey romance as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. It's how he would blush sometimes when you tell him you love him, somehow still shocked that you haven't gotten bored. It is how he would bring you out shopping, throwing cute clothes and accessories your way because he loves making you feel good about yourself. It was how he would drag you cafe hopping, feeding you a macaron here, a slice of cake there, always new things, always fun and interesting. It was the way he would go to the ends of the earth just to see you smile. Ezreal's love was fresh. His love was heart racing. His love was spring.

Aphelios loves you like a cold night. Safe, nostalgic, calm. Soft hands holding you close. Softer kisses and even softer words that fill you with a love like never before. The gentle love of a light from the full moon shining down, reminding you that there is light in the darkest of nights. Aphelios loves you in the way he makes sure you are always safe and warm. His love is the sneaky kisses in the shadows when no one is watching. It is the way he smiles cheekily after stealing your hoodie, only to see him wear it the next day. It is the way his fingers sneak around your waist, pulling you close to him when it is crowded, making sure you are safe and near. It is the soft raspy laugh when you prank him instead, like old friends meeting again after a long time. It was how you can see his eyes light up when he sees you singing to his songs. Aphelios loves you like a cold night. Mysterious, enchanting, soothing. It is the way he lightly plants kisses on your head, rubbing your back while you cry. It is the way he writes you love songs for his words cannot reach you. It is how he lovingly holds your face while he pulls your hand close to his chest, making sure you can feel his heartbeat for you. It is how he would sneak into your bed at night, finding solace in your warm embrace. It was how he would have quiet talks with you on the balcony, smiling happily as you talk about your day. Aphelios' love was comforting. His love was supportive. His love was the night.

Sett loves you like the middle of summer. Fun, fiery, free. Its a holiday all the time with him. Kind gestures that leave you giggling. His love was the way he'd pick you up in a hug when he sees you after a long time. It was how he would bring you to wild dinners with everyone, making sure you are never alone. His love was like the sound of students free from work. The exciting possibility of anything and everything that summer entails. It was how his laugh was loud and boisterous, leaving you feeling warm inside. His love was how he'd hold your hand in public, not worrying what anyone says because he was The Boss. It is the way his ears always flicked around, trying to hear you, how they twitched excitedly when you talked to him. His love was the little bop he’d do, punching the air to show off when he sees you rapping his lines. Sett loves you like the middle of summer. Lounging, happy, golden. Sett's love was the way his kisses were showy, always passionate, always warm. It was how he would physically pick you up and drive you to a beach when you were stressed, chasing you across the shore, lying in the warm sand as the two of you laugh so hard you cry. It is the way his presence made you feel like you could do anything, because he always had you back. It was how he would blow up your phone talking about his day when he was away, making you feel like he never left. It was how he would fall asleep easiest when you laid on him, feeling the rise and fall of his chest as he holds you close to him. Sett's love was alive. His love was young. His love was summer.

K'Sante loves you like a sunny day. Dazzling, upbeat, radiant. Love that reminded you of good weather, of warmth that makes you feel safe. His love makes you feel heard. Makes you feel like things are ok. Makes you feel like even if times are tough, he would be by your side, cheering you up. His love was like the warm sun bearing down on you on a hot day. You can always feel it's warmth heat you up. K'sante's love was how he always had the perfect thing to say, the right advice for any problem, a solution always within reach. It was how he'd bring you on a fancy dinner, dressing you up to the high heavens, making sure you were just as stunning as he was. His love was how he would hold you close, dancing with you in the living room after dinner to a tune no one else could hear. K'Sante loves you like a sunny day. Euphoric, optimistic, joyous. He loves you in the way he holds you close to his chest every time you meet, assurance that his love would never waver. It is in how his kisses were comforting like no other, bending down to stroke your hair as he lovingly presses his lips against yours. It was the way he’d chuckle when you tell him how much you love his singing. It was seen in the way he'd design matching clothes just for the two of you, so you can always feel his love nearby even when he is not there. It is the way he'd drive you to a flower field, throw out a picnic mat and serenade you in a sea of colors. K'Sante's love was hopeful. His love was light. His love was a sunny day.

Yone loves you like the first sign of fall. Cosy, crisp, cold. He loves you in the way that makes you feel like its time to get warm in bed. His love leaves you wondering how such cold can make you feel so warm. How he was so distant yet so near. Yone's love makes you feel like its a good time to snuggle up and read a book in his arms, quiet but present. His love is like the cold wind blowing autumn leaves into the air. Beautifully elegant. Gentle touches like the wind as his fingers ghost over your skin, leaving you shivering in their wake. It was how he would smile and pass you one half of his earpiece, letting you listen to him mix and edit, so you won't feel left out. His love was the way he would rest his back on the wall, pulling you close to lean on him as he calmly kisses your forehead. Yone loves you like the first sign of fall. Surprising, yearning, brisk. Yone's love was the way he would watch sunsets with you while his hand holds your head close to his. It was how you'd see him smile to himself when seeing a photo of you or reading your messages. It was how he would lightly rub his fingers against the back of your hand whenever you held his. It was how he would give you quick kisses whenever he walked past, too fast for anyone to see, but slow enough that his lips linger on yours. Yone's love was ephemeral. His love was mellow. His love was the autumn breeze.

[lixie-phoria]

comforting bf!hyunjin

requested : yes | genre : angst with a happy ending | word count : 0.6k

Can I request y/n talking Hyunjin down from a breakdown and being there for him when he feels kinda numb after and helping him brush his hair, eat, and just being there for him through a hard time

an: this is my first time writing smth like this and I'm not sure how much I like how it's turned out :')

"Hyunjin. Let me in, please"

How long had it been? Half an hour? An hour? You weren't sure as you leaned your forehead against the door, cursing the locked barrier.

"Leave me alone."

His voice was raw, punctuated only by the soft sound of his stifled sobs.

"Jinnie, please. I want to help. Tell me what's wrong."

You were met with silence.

Hyunjin's practice had run late that night.

He'd been down for the past few days, so you stayed up to make sure he wouldn't return home to a cold, dark hall. But you hadn't expected him to storm in at 2 a.m, hair a mess and tear stains running down his cheeks. He didn't even give you a chance to speak. The first thing he'd done was lock himself into your shared bedroom, trying to muffle his sobs, but they seeped into the silence of the hall anyways.

"Babe, what's wrong? Did I do something?"

"No."

"Then let me in, please."

His reply was a strangled sob. "I don't want you seeing me like this. I'm a mess"

"I don't care how you look, hyunjin. I want to make sure you're alright."

It's a while before you hear the lock click, and you're on your feet immediately, pushing the door open to find your boyfriend seated at the foot of your bed, head in his hands and body shaking from sobs.

the sight broke your heart.

You're by his side in an instant, wrapping your arms around him as he hides his face in the crook of your neck, a fresh wave of sobs escaping him.

"What's wrong, hyune?"

"Do you love me?"

His question hung in the air, delicate and heart-wrenching.

"Of course I do. I love you. So much."

"But why?"

You rested your temple against his, sorrow digging a dagger into your heart. You hated seeing him like this.

"Where is all of this coming from?"

His hold around you tightens, but he doesn't answer.

"Is it the haters?"

You knew you had guessed correctly when he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"I don't want to talk about it right now."

"that's not healthy. you know that. let me help you, please."

"not today."

you sighed. you don't want to push it. he'll come around eventually, he always does.

"how about in the morning?"

he nods silently as you finally turn your body to face his, gently taking his face in your hands.

"you know i love you, right? i love you no matter what. always."

he leans into your touch, eyes closing. "thank you."

"And you are not the opinion of someone who doesn't know you."

Though he couldn't see it, a soft smile plays at your lips as you press a kiss to his furrowed brow.

"do you want to eat something?"

"it's 3 in the morning."

"screw that."

that earns a small chuckle from him as he meets your gaze, warm brown orbs staring into yours.

"thank you," he repeats.

"you don't have to thank me, hyune."

you help him up from the floor, standing on your toes to tuck the lose strands that had escaped from his hair tie.

"i didn't think you'd stay with me after seeing me like this."

"i'll stay with you no matter what."

As the night slowly yielded to the first hints of dawn, you found yourselves nestled together on the bed. Hyunjin's breathing had steadied, and his weary eyes met yours with a newfound warmth.

"We're in this together, always," you whisper, lacing his fingers with yours as he leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a tender kiss.

At that moment, a meteorite could've come crashing down upon the earth, but what mattered was that you were in his arms. safe.

tags : @foxinnie8 @hamburgers101 @starlostlaiba @laylasbunbunny (send an ask to be added/removed)

©lixie-phoria, 2023

[matrixbearer2024]

Hi!!! I love your Get Off My Screen series so much! I was wondering if I could do a request for that?

Basically the idea is that Vox and the reader are just texting at night maybe and he lets something slip about something he misses from his old life on earth and because of that the reader remembers that the person they’ve been talking to for like over a year by now probably used to be alive and just spends the whole night learning everything they can about vox when he was alive (I imagine this would happen whilst vox was asleep and we’re just googling him) and then maybe I feel like we’d also google Alastor as a joke to see what all the fuss is about and then we find out that the person vox is ~~crushing~~ hating on is a serial killer and then just telling everything we learned when he wakes up.

Sorry if that’s really long I just fell like this is 100% what I would do in this situation

Old Times Gone By

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: I'm so glad you guys are requesting scenarios within the series, heck- I'm glad y'all enjoy it this much already hahaha! This is somewhat of an aftermath to the "You Could Do Better(With Me)" which is why it's not as cheery as the other chapters- but it's definitely not straight up angst. Just vulnerability and late night chatting between friends. Haha "friends"- And as always, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and happy reading!

A/N: Again, I kind of deviated from the prompt a little to better fit the narrative but Reader does know about Alastor and who he is because of Vox's ranting. They're aware that her demonic crush has a weird obsession with a cannibalistic radio serial killer deer dude and it's still not the weirdest thing he's done so far HAHAHAHA

If there was one thing Vox had to say he hated about drinking-

It had to be dealing with the hellish hangovers come morning.

Especially when he'd been wasted the night before.

A sharp jab in his side caused him to wake up this time.

He grunted, nearly falling off his chair when he shifted ever so slightly.

Huh-

Wait, why was he in here???

He could feel the migraine start to pound in his head.

Vox wasn't looking forward to today already.

When he tried to stand up, a clink of a bottle made him look down by his feet.

Picking it up to give the darn thing a once over, he scoffed.

He must have been absolutely hammered to have finished this yesterday.

It was a brand he despised the taste of too.

"Vox-? Oh, you're up."

His head whipped around so quickly once he heard your voice.

When had he even connected to your TV?

Not that he complained, he managed to see you sat up on the couch and stretching.

Your hair stuck up in odd positions and you even looked to be half-awake.

Why was that fucking cute???

"I- mhm. I guess I am. Was I... drinking yesterday?"

"I don't really know, I just knew you were drunk out of your mind last night. I can only see your face remember?"

"Ah... right."

Vox couldn't really bring himself to say much this time, not while he was still trying to grab the bits and pieces of his memory on yesterday's events.

Did he really wander into the monitor room just because he missed you?

That was low, even for him.

"Good morning anyhow, not that I think it would be if you're dealing with a hangover."

Vox just chuckled, watching you get up and disappear from the TV's view.

He wasn't in any mood to work at all, especially when he had a shitty headache to deal with too.

Eh, his empire could last a day without him.

He notified his secretary to just cancel all his duties and appointments for today, just ignoring their panic as you returned back into view.

"What are you holding?"

"Coffee."

"I thought you said you hated coffee?"

"Not hate, I just don't prefer it. But I need the caffeine to function today and I'd rather drink this bean juice than those energy drinks."

Vox wouldn't admit it, but talking to you again was already starting to make him feel a little better.

Especially after your noticeable absence.

He'd rather die again that outright say he missed you, his pride wouldn't allow it.

Cracking his joints, he just watched you sleepily stare up at him from where you sat on the couch.

Granted, it was probably because your TV was probably perched higher or on a shelf.

But Vox still thought you were kind of short.

Not that he had the right to say anything-

He was a 7ft tall giant compared to you.

"Again with the bean juice thing, and what's wrong with energy drinks?"

"They taste like straight up chemicals."

Vox just gave you a weird look when you rolled your eyes at him.

Still you just kept talking to him inbetween taking sips of your hot beverage.

"I'm not surprised you enjoy them, but your palate is probably shit."

"Oh you do not wanna go there-"

"What if I do huh? Watcha gonna do about it?"

Vox just grinned, you getting up to move closer to the screen as you challenged him.

The wide mischievous grin on your face mirrored his own and you both quickly devolved into just either bragging about exotic foods you've eaten-

Or straight up going for the jugular about each other.

"You eat McDonald's daily? I can't believe you'd feed yourself garbage Vox-"

"It's not garbage, and don't act like you've never eaten fast food."

"You are what you eat, I guess!"

"Ohoho! You bitch!"

Vox didn't seem to mind the numbing headache he felt when you were back to being your animated rambunctious self.

He wondered if it was because of the caffeine that made you all hyped up but he couldn't really bring himself to give a shit.

Not when he was still pretty tired.

It seems you noticed his retorts weren't making their usual mark though, and you crossed your arms over your chest while leaning towards the TV screen.

Vox just narrowed his eyes at you in confusion, what were you doing?

"You my good sir, need a hot cup of coffee more than I do. And freshen up while you're at it, I need to go take a shower too anyways."

You-

You did not just do what he think you did.

Were you actually mothering him??

Vox just rolled his eyes at your words, not really intending to go until he realized you weren't budging an inch either.

"Didn't you just say you needed to go clean up?"

"Not leaving till you are."

"Stubborn much?"

"Not that different from you, no."

The tech overlord laughed at your insistence, eventually relenting and disconnecting himself from your devices.

He stretched again when he got up from his chair, picking up the empty alcohol bottle near his feet not intending to clutter up or dirty his workspace.

Vox perked up when his phone buzzed though.

The darn thing catching his attention before he forgot it was there.

He checked on it with his free hand, chuckling when he realized it was just a message from you.

"Go and freshen yourself up, get a cup of coffee too while you're at it. I'll be back soon, kisses!"

You almost caused him to break his phone from the grip he had on it.

Kisses???

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?!

Vox seriously stood there staring at his phone for a good ten minutes just buffering and rebooting-

Dude is actually broken the second you do literally anything with vaguely romantic undertones.

Still he stomps all over his own hopes and feelings in fear of misinterpreting your friendliness.

Yeah, both of you were fucking clueless.

You stayed true to your word and did eventually come back after you'd cleaned yourself up.

Vox had just been waiting on your TV again and the screen brightened slightly upon noticing you.

It was a subconscious reaction, don't bring it up or he'll definitely throw a hissy fit.

So that's what you both did the whole day, talking and just catching up.

While Vox did mention you skipped classes for the day, you just shot back that he threw his work to the backburner as well.

Not that he bothered to refute it, instead just moving on with the conversation like normal.

Hours passed and time flew.

Before you knew it, the both of you were talking well into the evening.

"And that's kind of the reason why I think spaghetti is superior to penne."

"Doll, they're straight up just different kinds of pasta."

"The fact there's different kinds of pasta mean that people clearly can't decide on a superior noodle shape."

Yeaaah... your conversations kind of stopped making sense an hour ago.

Not that either of you minded, even laughing about some stupid thing way into the AM.

"So like- he thought he was really some hot shit taking on the leader of the exorcists but he got his ass absolutely handed to him!"

"Bro almost got turned into demonic venison HAHAHAHA!"

Though of course, late night conversations always went deeper than those normally held within the day.

"Say... Vox?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you miss being alive? With, ya know- talking to me and all."

Vox paused slightly, it's been a long time since he reminisced of his living days.

When was the last time he even did?

"Not necessarily, I miss some things but not a whole lot."

"Like what? When did you die???"

"Hm... I don't remember the exact date, but sometime in the fifties?"

Vox recoiled when you just gawked at his screen, why did you react like that?

"Holy shit! You're fucking ancient!"

"Haha... very funny doll, I'm not that old! I died in my thirties."

"Ehhhh? You're not much older than I am then. How??"

"Don't remember, it was a long long time ago."

You made a weird face at him, to which Vox just smiled and chuckled.

It was the same expression you wore when trying to figure things out.

As... weird and cute as it may be.

Then you suddenly yawned, causing the tech overlord to consequently do the same.

Something you poked fun at him for since when did TVs yawn apparently.

Rolling his eyes, Vox took a glance at his internal clock.

It was four in the morning?!

How long had you both been talking????

"Vox? You good?"

Apparently his bewilderment was evident on the screen, so he just switched his attention back to you.

Vox's screen glitched slightly when he was caught off guard by how close you got to the TV.

Almost all up in his face even.

"Y-Yeah, just zZst- fine. Say... Doll, do you know what time it is?"

"Uhhhh- no, not really- why?"

"It's four in the morning."

"And?"

"You need to sleep?"

You rolled your eyes and turned your back to the TV, plopping down on the couch with a pout.

"Hey."

You ignored him.

"Heeeeeey-"

Vox couldn't help but chortle from your antics, you really seemed like a grumpy child right now.

"Look dollface, I don't want the fun to end either but we've still got tomorrow."

"I don't wanna say goodnight. You're just going to disconnect when I do."

"What, you can't expect me to fall asleep hooked up to all your stuff again can you? My chair isn't the most comfortable place to fall asleep."

"Still!"

Vox rubbed his face with a sigh, he felt the inexplicable urge to just pinch your cheeks.

He would if he could but he didn't exactly have hands as a TV.

Why did you have to be so cute?

"How about this? I'll stick around until you pass out. You won't even notice I'm gone come morning."

"Fineeeeeee."

It didn't take too long for you to fall asleep on the couch.

Similarly to yesterday, you were just haphazardly sprawled across the furniture with a thin blanket to cover you.

Despite his words, Vox still stuck around for a while to make sure you were asleep.

You looked so serene while you rested, like you didn't have any worries.

The overlord let out a tired sigh, he'll just stick around for another five minutes.

Just a little longer in this peaceful moment with you.

Vox totally fell asleep in his chair again, he woke up that morning in an awkward position feeling more sore than ever too.

"Oh for fuck's sake-"

"MORNING VOXYYY!!!"

[hyunniesgirl]

More than words

Pairing: Lee Know x fem!reader

Summary: your best friends are getting married and you're their maid of honor. They just forgot to mention that the best man and your partner in the wedding is the guy who broke you heart.

Word count: 6,394

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, drunk people, just fluffy and a tiny bit if angst, also there's a screenshot/fake text close to the end.

>> Masterlist <<

A/N: so, this was supposed to be a bday post for Lee Know but I couldn't finish it on time :( turns out I can't write under pressure and I still don't think this is good enough but I don't think I can do better this time lmao I'm sure he can feel my love even if it's a bit late(I wish) so happy late bday for my bias the most sassy and sexy man on earth!!!!

You look at the invitation in your hands and sigh. You were really looking forward to your best friend's wedding. You were overjoyed when she told you Jeonghan had finally proposed and that she had chosen you as her maid of honor. You were excited to go out shopping to choose her wedding dress and enjoyed helping plan all the little details.

The thing is, Seojin forgot to let you know that the best man is going to be her best friend, your long-term crush and the guy who rejected you. Lee Minho, your wildest dream and worst nightmare embodied.

You, Seojin, Jeonghan and Minho had met in college and you fell in love at first sight. Yeah, kinda cheesy, right? You always had been a logical person so love at first sight sounded like bullshit to you, until it actually happened.

It was the strongest, most nerve wracking emotion you ever felt in your life. The way every move he made, every word he said, every smile he gave you, just made your entire world turn upside down.

You never really put a lot of effort into hiding that you liked him, seizing every opportunity to hit on him but he never really gave you the time of day, brushing it off as a joke.

A year ago, you decided to confess to him. You told him about your feelings for but it was no surprise when he turned you down.

You already guessed he didn't feel the same way as you did, you just thought it best to regret what you have done rather than what you haven't. And you did regret doing it in the end. Your heart was broken and you felt empty, you haven't spoken to him since that day. So to know you'll have to spend a whole weekend in his presence is not something you're looking forward to.

>>>

You came to the airport right after you clocked out of work. It's not a long trip, so you try to make yourself comfortable while you're in the plane.

As the maid of honor, you have to help the guests during the weekend, this is your job so Seojin can relax before her wedding.

So when you feel someone sitting by your side, you put your best smile on, ready to introduce yourself.

Your smile disappears when you see Minho there, he has his usual smug smile on his lips and an eyebrow raised, staring at you and waiting for you to continue.

"Oh, it's you", you say, feeling your cheeks warm, turning around to look out of the window.

"I expected a more heartwarming greeting", he jokes, "we are partners for the weekend after all"

'Don't even get me started on that', you think, sighing.

You should be nice to him, at least while you're on wedding duties, he didn't do anything wrong after all. But you're embarrassed, the last time you talked to each other was when he rejected you.

"How have you been?" He asks when you don't say anything.

"Fine", you give him a forced smile, "and you?"

"As usual", he answers, shifting in his seat, uncomfortable.

"Dating someone?" You ask and his head snaps at you, he didn't think you'd want to know something like that. You sure are having the same reaction, cursing yourself with every name you know, you really can't help yourself, you're an idiot.

"Not really", he clears his throat, he thought you'd have forgotten all about him after so much time but he feels strange knowing you still want to know about that, "you?"

You shake your head, no. You're not dating anyone since you didn't get over him yet. It's pathetic really, a whole year went by and you're still hung up on him.

You don't talk much for the rest of the trip, you just make small talk about his plans with Jeonghan for the weekend. Minho missed you, more than he could have expected, so it's nice having time with you again.

You have always known Jeonghan is rich, but to book a room for every one of their guests at a five star hotel it's a whole other level of wealthy. You're already dreaming about the long bath you're going to take on the hydromassage in your room, after that you're going to lay in the comfortable hotel bed and relax for the rest of the night, maybe check again your plans for tomorrow.

"Mr. Lee", the receptionist says to Minho, giving him the keycard. She looks at you, waiting for you to get closer to the counter, "What can I do for you, Miss…?"

"Oh, it's Y/N L/N", you say, stepping closer. The woman taps something and frowns.

"You're in room 143", she says and you smile politely, waiting for your keycard, "together with Mr. Lee", she points to Minho, who's looking at his keycard and showing it to you.

You take a deep breath.

"There must be a mistake, we are not together, we have to be in different rooms"

"I'm sorry, there must have been a mistake in the booking", she smiles apologetically, "we can give you a full refund"

"There's no need, I can just stay in another room"

The woman presses her lips in a thin line, looking at the other receptionist by her side.

"I'm sorry, but we are fully booked"

You take a moment to understand what she's saying. So there's no room for you? That's great.

"I'll just go to another hotel", you sigh, stepping away.

"I'm afraid it will be hard for you to find another hotel miss, it's the weekend and there are a lot of weddings happening at this time of the year"

"What am I supposed to do, then?", you ask, trying not to freak out.

You can't stay with Seojin since she's the bride and the other bridesmaids magically found a partner to bring to the ceremony so there's nowhere for you to sleep.

"Just stay with me", Minho sighs, running his hands through his hair. "It's your room too anyway"

You stare at him for a whole minute, trying to think of a way to get out of this, but you can't. You have to stay close to Seojin for the wedding plans and you really want to stay in this hotel.

"Do you have a better idea?" He asks, seeing the frown in your face.

You sigh, shaking your head, there's nothing much you can do. You follow Minho to the elevator, pressing the bottom and waiting for the doors to open. A crowd starts to form around you, pushing you together into the confined space. Minho is crushed against the wall and you're being pressed against him, as if things aren't already bad.

"We should have waited to catch the next one", you whisper and he sighs.

"Is not like we had a choice"

You want to fight him, you want to blame him for all this situation. If he didn't reject you, you would be together now and you wouldn't mind being pressed against him. You wouldn't mind the warmth growing in your lower stomach just by the touch of his skin on yours.

The moment people get out on the second floor, you step away from him, trying to hide your red face. You walk together in the corridor, your mind is so full you forget the situation you are in, but when you enter the room you see the bed. There's only one bed. You completely forgot this is a room for a couple, as if it's not enough that you have to sleep in the same room with Minho, you'll have to share the same bed too? If there's a god, he must be laughing at your face right now.

"Do you want to shower first?" Minho's voice takes you out of your thoughts and you turn around to look at him.

"Yeah, thanks"

You grab your bag and go into the bathroom. It's okay, you don't have to freak out, you are in a five star hotel, in a really nice suite, you can manage to survive the weekend.

When you packed your things, you were planning on sleeping alone so you are lucky you actually brought pajamas even though you always sleep in your underwear. This pajama is not the most decent one but it's what you have at the moment.

The hot bath does wonders to relieve your stress, you use the expensive shampoo and hair conditioner and massages your body with some nice body lotion, ready to have a good night of sleep.

Minho's seated by the bed when you get out of the bathroom, his clothes are folded by his side and he's scrolling on his phone. He lifts his eyes towards you, freezing instantly. What the hell are you wearing? He feels the warmth going up his neck, cheeks and his ears.

"A-are you done?" He stutters for the first time since you've known him.

"Yeah, the hair conditioner is really nice, look how soft my hair is now", you step closer to him, tilting your head so he can touch your hair.

"I'll try it myself", he walks past you. You must have taken a lot of time in there for him to be in such a hurry.

When Minho gets out of the bathroom you're already sleeping, you're laying down on your stomach with your round ass bursting out of your shorts or whatever is that thing you're wearing, he's sure he'll go crazy in the next two days if you keep this up.

>>>

When you go into the restaurant and see Seojin, you want to commit a murder. You know that face she's making, it's the face she has when she did something mischievous and is trying to hide it.

"So it was YOU", you slap her arm, sitting in front of her at the table. The other girls didn't seem to have arrived yet.

"I don't know what you're talking about", she smiles looking at you with doe eyes.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, really, you put us in the same room?"

She sighs in defeat. Seojin knows better than to keep pretending, you know her too well to believe in any excuse she'll come up with.

"I just want my two best friends to make up", she smiles, "it's my wedding after all"

"I get that, but you could have thought about a better way", you sigh, calling for the waiter and asking for a bottle of wine. "I won't ruin your weekend", you smile, grabbing her hand to squeeze it, "but you're done for when we go back"

She shivers, you're really scary when you get mad. But it's worth the risk, she knows you're not over Minho and she wants to help you get together.

"Leave the whole bottle", you ask the waiter that just came back to your table bringing the wine and two glasses, "and keep bringing more when you see I'm out of it", you ignore his look of pity.

You're going to have lunch with Seojin and the bridesmaids, then you're going to pick your dress up and bring it to the hotel for you to wear tomorrow.

Soon enough the bridesmaids arrive, there are only three, Seojin's cousins and Jeonghan's sister. They won't shut up about their partners, that aren't even official or anything. You can't believe they brought just about anyone to your best friend's wedding and you absolutely are not being petty because you were forced to stay in the same room as Minho because they all had partners.

After setting the date for your meeting later in the night, you go to pick up your dress. You had to make some last minute changes and were lucky they were available to assist you immediately.

The first thing you do when you get to your room is to try on the dress, making sure it's perfect for the next day. You struggle a bit to put it on, since it has a zipper in the back, but you manage it.

You stare at your reflection in the mirror, you look nice. The green really enhances the color of your eyes and it's going to look perfect with your makeup and hair done.

You feel a sudden tug in your hair, a few strands got stuck in the zipper somehow. Perfect. You pull it a couple of times but with no success until you pull it so hard the zipper actually breaks.

"Oh no no", you whine looking at the big problem you have in your hands.

The door opens behind you and Minho enters, staring at you for a moment, you look beautiful. He would have admired you for a whole hour if it wasn't for the desperate look in your face, that's when he sees that your dress is open in the back with some of your hair stuck in the zipper.

"Are you alright?" He asks, you look at him trying to calm yourself down. What are you going to do? The wedding is tomorrow.

"I messed up", you tell him, tears brimming in your eyes, "I ruined my dress, how am I supposed to go to the ceremony?"

There's no way you can get it fixed, there's a lot of weddings happening this weekend and it's Saturday afternoon, there's not going to be a tailor available.

Minho can see the gears turning in your head, you're overthinking. He gets closer to you, grabbing you by the shoulders, making you look at him.

"Hey!" He says, loudly enough to catch your attention, "calm down! We can find a way to fix it!"

He's looking deeply into your eyes, telling you to take deep breaths and you do just that, calming down a bit in a few minutes.

>>>

Minho had his fair share of broken hearts, sometimes he was the one crying over the end of a relationship and sometimes someone else was in that position. He liked you more than as a friend, he knew that since the beginning of your friendship but he never opened up enough to form another type of relationship with you. So when you confessed to him, he felt so many things at the same time.

He was happy that you felt the same way as him, mad he didn't know about it sooner but mostly, he felt scared, your friendship was so important to him that he didn't want to ruin it by dating you. What if you two broke up later? How could you still be friends?

That fear made him turn you down, he regretted it the moment you walked out of the cafe you were meeting up and in a certain way, he did ruin your friendship, since you didn't speak to him after that day and he couldn't bring himself to contact you too.

He knew Seojin was the one who pulled this stunt of putting you together in the same room, she always loved to play cupid. He just didn't expect he would like the situation so much, he missed you a lot, more than you could ever imagine.

Seojin was waiting for him at the lobby, she wanted to go for a walk and talk, to settle some little things about his role in the wedding.

"Finally, you're here!" She smiles, squeezing him in a hug and he does the same.

"Did you wait long?" He asks.

"Nope, I just had lunch with Y/N", she answers, eyeing Minho and waiting for his reaction to the mention of your name, he chuckles.

"So, did you have to put us in the same room?" He asks, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms. Seojin smiles, giving him puppy eyes.

"If I didn't you wouldn't speak to each other, I'm sure of it", she huffs.

"I would try talking to her, you know that"

"Yeah, but she'd probably run every time, that's why I had to go to this extent", Seojin starts walking and Minho follows her.

"I guess you're right", he says, tucking his hands in his pockets.

"Didn't you regret turning her down? I know you like her too"

"It doesn't matter if I regret it or not, she hates my guts now"

They walk for about five minutes before Seojin takes a deep breath and starts talking again.

"I know I shouldn't meddle into this but you're both my best friends so I feel like I have the right to intervene when you're just being dumb", Minho glares at her, "I'm sure she still likes you, Min"

Do you, though? You can't even look him in the eyes. You don't want to talk to him. He wants to believe in what Seojin is saying but he's afraid he lost his chance with you.

When he sees you almost bawling your eyes out because of the dress, he knows he has to do something, anything for you.

"So, I called someone I know that lives here in the island with her family and her grandma is a former tailor, she wants to check the dress and see what can be done", Minho says, looking at you sitted by the bed, your hands gripping the ruined dress.

You get up in a jump, wrapping your arms around his neck and squeezing him.

"Thank you so much, Min, I don't even know how to repay you", you realize too late how close you two are from each other. Stepping aside, you give him a sheepish smile, mumbling a "sorry"

He clears his throat, turning around and walking to the door, trying to hide the blush in his face.

>>>

Seojin held the position of the most beautiful woman you've ever seen… until now. You're seeing Minho's friend but she doesn't look real, she's so gorgeous that for a moment it looks like she's walking in slow motion.

What takes you out of your haze is the awkward interaction between them. Minho said she is someone he knows but are acquaintances close enough to ask for favors? And the way they are interacting tells you they're not friends either.

She's smiling at Minho and he's just there, nodding, there's not a single glance of affection in his behavior. He's not like this, sometimes he may seem cold and a bit mean, but he's the sweetest with the ones he likes, you know that because you used to be one of them.

"So, I'm Mina", she looks at you with a big smile and you greet her, telling your name. "Is this the dress?" She asks, looking at your garment bag.

"Yes, thank you so much for accepting to help", you say and she chuckles.

"Anything for Minho", she looks at him with a smile and you feel your chest ache even though he keeps a straight face.

She leads you into the house, it's a beautiful traditional construction. Her grandma is waiting in the living room and she asks Mina to make some tea while she looks at the dress.

"Can you help me bring the things?" She asks Minho and he nods.

The old lady is very nice, she tells you about her years of experience as a tailor and how she had to fix absolute disasters in her days, so your case will be easy peasy, she just has to replace the zipper with a new one.

"Give me half an hour", she reassures you with a smile and then looks around, "can you go see why my granddaughter is taking so long?" She asks and you nod, getting up and following a path you think leads to the kitchen.

"Does she know about us?" You hear Mina's voice and stop in your tracks, you shouldn't eavesdrop, right? Then why can't you move? Your heart starts beating so loudly you're not sure you'll be able to hear his answer.

"Let's not talk about that while she's here", Minho asks, sighing. "I'll meet you when you come to Seoul and we can talk"

You can't breathe. So they are not just friends, you feel dumb. Of course Minho would like a supermodel like her, even though you are beautiful you can't really compete with that.

You go back to the living room. You can't look at their faces after what you heard, is it immature? Yes, but it's not a secret that you're not over Minho and listening to him, thinking about him meeting with another woman just makes your heart break again, even though you thought the pain you were feeling would end after he rejected you last year.

"Are you alright?" He asks when he sits by your side, smiling slightly at you and you nod awkwardly.

Would you have gotten over him already if he just had said you are not his type? He just said he couldn't be more than friends with you, was he trying to be nice?

The old lady refuses to get paid for fixing your dress, she says it was so easy it shouldn't even count as a service, in return she asks you to come by again when you're in Jeju because she liked you. You thank her again, saying your goodbyes and walking to the car while she asks Minho for something only a man can do, since her son is not home yet.

You put the dress in the backseat of the car, finally breathing relieved.

"So you're the one I should thank", you're startled by Mina's voice behind you.

"Oh, for what?" You ask, turning around with a hand on your chest.

"For bringing Minho here", she smiles sadly and you frown. "I guess he didn't tell you", she says.

"I know that you're a thing or something like that", you say, is she trying to rub it in your face? Is she feeling threatened?

"Oh", she laughs, "no, we are not a thing"

"I don't understand, then", you say, trying to not smile, feeling a weight being lifted out of your chest.

"We dated a few years ago, but I did something terrible to him, I know he hated me after that", she sighs, "I've been trying to meet him for so long to apologize but he never gave me the time of day, so imagine my surprise when he willingly called me to ask for a favor", she smiles, "I guess you must mean a lot to him"

You feel your heart sink, did he really do that for you? You don't know what she did, but you know Minho doesn't forgive someone easily and he surely doesn't like to owe a favor to someone that did something bad to him.

"Anyways", she says awkwardly after you stare at her without saying a thing, "thank you, I hope you make him happy", she smiles, nodding to you and heading back.

Make him happy? Does she think you two are together? Did she notice you were jealous?

So many questions and no answer at all. You snap out of your thoughts when the gate to the house is closed with a loud noise. Minho walks to you, opening the door.

"Are you not getting in?"

You don't speak much on your trip back to the hotel, your head is just so full of thoughts you don't think you'll be able to form a sentence if you try to speak. Besides that, it's almost time for your outing with Seojin and the other bridesmaids, Minho's also in a hurry so you guess he has something planned with Jeonghan and the groomsman as well, so you both run to your room to get ready.

You're the first to shower since you'll take longer to dress up. You don't take too long, letting Minho go in while you do your hair and makeup in the wall mirror in the bedside.

You put on a tight navy blue dress, it's long enough to cover your ass but not enough to make it proper.

Minho comes out of the bathroom already dressed, he's wearing a white button down that looks heavenly as if it was made just for him and jeans that just embrace his toned thighs.

"You can take a picture if you want", the smirk on his lips makes you scoff, taking you out of your state of haze.

"Well, it's no secret that you're handsome", you point out, "I did fall in love with you after all"

Minho stops in his tracks, he did not expect you to bring that up. Do people that still have feelings for the other joke about it? He wants to believe he still has a chance, but the way you act, so nonchalantly, makes him insecure.

"You're pretty too", he says, ignoring your remark.

"Not as much as Mina", your voice sounds more bitter than you meant it to be, "she's really gorgeous"

You turn around, picking up your purse, you don't want him to see your face full of contempt and jealousy. You walk out of the room, not waiting for his answer, cursing yourself till you get to the lobby to find your friends.

There's nothing like a girl's night out to take all your worry away. You drink, flirt with strangers, play games, take a tour around Jeju eating delicious foods, go to karaoke and walk by the beach.

Around midnight the bridesmaids take a taxi back to the hotel but you and Seojin want to drink more and have more fun since it's her last day as an unmarried woman.

The fresh air of the beach sobers you up, you're still a bit dizzy, but not as wasted as before. Your friend is worse than you, she's stumbling and laughing at nothing.

"I love you so much", she says, grabbing your face and cupping your cheeks, "you know that, right?"

You chuckle, putting your hands over hers.

"Of course I know, and I love you too", she smiles, stumbling and falling down on the floor.

"My butt", she whines, caressing her sides.

It seems like she's too wasted now, it's time to go back. You call Jeonghan, asking him if he can come pick you two up by the beach and as the gentleman he is, he didn't drink because he knew his fiancee would get too drunk to even walk and need someone to pick her up. You laugh at his answer and wait for him, it's good to know Seojin will have someone to take care of her like that.

You all were friends in college and you love Jeonghan, but you were always closest to Seojin. She came up to you and asked to be your friend on the first day of school when you were all alone since you didn't know anyone in the city, much less in that university.

You stare at the waves in the ocean, it's really calming to feel the breeze and the sound of the sea.

"My love", Seojin screams, looking behind you. She gets up and runs before you can help her. You turn around to find Jeonghan and Minho coming in your direction. Seojin jumps into her fiance's arms, giggling and kissing his face.

"Are you alright?" Jeonghan asks her and she nods frantically, mumbling 'better now' while resting her head on his shoulder. He looks at you with a brow lifted, questioning and you chuckle, nodding.

"What about you?" Minho asks and you roll your eyes, walking in a straight line to prove you're fine but your body betrays you and you trip on your own feet. You don't fall since Minho wraps his arms around your waist holding you. Why do his hands feel so good on you, when he's holding you? Why must you still feel this way after being rejected? Don't you have any pride left? Those ungodly reflexes he has are annoying sometimes, you'd rather he'd let you fall face first on the sand.

"Are you sure?" He asks, a judging look in his face.

"Yes, I'm sure", you say, stepping away from him.

Maybe you're still a little bit tipsier than you thought.

He glances at Jeonghan and he shrugs, they take you and Seojin to the car, securing you two on your seatbelts. The trip back is noisy, unfortunately Seojin is not a sleepy drunk, she gets even more energetic in her intoxicated state. So she tells Jeonghan and Minho about everything you did during your outing, every detail, even that three guys tried to take you home after you drunk flirted with them.

You give your goodbyes in the lobby, since they are staying in another wing of the hotel. You and Minho go to the elevator and you notice he's drunk too, he tries to hide it, but he keeps stumbling and has to lean on the elevator's wall to keep standing.

"I think you're much prettier than Mina", he blurts out of nowhere and your head snaps at him, a frown in your face. "You didn't let me finish earlier, I was going to say that you're the prettiest girl in the world for me"

The doors to the elevator open and he walks away, like what he just said didn't leave you completely lost. You feel your heart beat faster, following him to your room and leaning on the door after you close it, staring at him while he walks around the room.

Your mind is full of thoughts, why is he always so nice to you? You suddenly have the preposterous urge to tell him again you're in love with him, it must be the alcohol, but maybe you need him to tell you he doesn't like you in that way, maybe if you're humiliated one more time you'll be able to let him go.

"You shouldn't be nice to me", he looks at you, brows furrowed in confusion, "if you do I'll cross the line you drew last year", you stumble a bit, trying to get to him and he holds you. "I'll kiss you if you don't stop me", you say, noticing how close you're from each other.

Minho doesn't say anything, his head is spinning a bit and he's sure you're bluffing. He's so wrong, though. He realizes that only when your lips come crashing on his, he doesn't even have time to process what's happening before you push him away, stepping aside.

"I-I'm sorry", you say, 'of course he won't reciprocate', you think.

However, contrary to your expectations, he wraps his arms around your waist, pressing his hand on the small of your back and pulling you back to his embrace, kissing you. His lips are soft and his movements are rushed like he's been waiting to do that for a long time.

Maybe you're just dreaming while awake, it's impossible for him to be kissing you, right?

You wake up feeling your head hurting like crazy, your mouth is dry and you feel sick. Suddenly what happened comes crushing in, did you actually kiss Minho? And the most important part, did he reciprocate? You can't remember, the last thing that you recall is kissing him but everything after that is just a blur.

You look around the room, trying to find him and when you realize he's nowhere to be seen, you can only draw one conclusion. It seems you've been rejected once more.

It's okay, now you feel like you can get over this crush, you two didn't have a future anyway. You want to cry, you really do, but you can't show up to your friend's wedding with puff eyes and you don't want to stay in this room for long, you don't want to meet him again until the wedding. So you grab your dress and the things you'll need and take it to the bridal suite.

Minho is happy, you still like him after all. After you two kissed you fell asleep, he tucked you in bed and watched you. You were always a sleepy drunk, when he's more like Seojin. He feels energetic until the exhaustion hits him.

He wakes up early, to grab some coffee and hangover medicine for you two, but when he comes back waiting to find you awake, you're nowhere, your things are not there either. Did you regret kissing him? Maybe you just wanted to feel something familiar with him. No, he's not going to let these intrusive thoughts make him assume things, he needs to talk to you.

And he would, if you answered his calls or his texts. He freaks out even more when his phone buzzes with a bunch of texts.

>>>

You're trying to distract yourself, telling stories about your college times with Seojin to the other bridesmaids and helping the bride relax before her big moment. You don't want to tell her about the whole thing with Minho, you don't want to turn her big day into a drama about yourself.

She keeps frowning while looking at the phone, the ceremony is going to start in less than thirty minutes so it's understandable that she's nervous.

She looks at you with desperate eyes.

"The wedding planner just texted me saying there is something wrong with the menu, can you check it for me?"

"Of course, I'll be back as soon as possible", you smile reassuring her. It's weird though, you went through all the details with the staff before meeting with Seojin.

You walk to the kitchen, looking for the wedding planner and finally finds her talking to the waiters.

"Hey, what's wrong with the menu?" You ask the older woman and she looks at you, confused.

"What do you mean?" She asks, "there's nothing wrong"

You frown, looking around. Seojin clearly told you the wedding planner was the one to report the issue, so it's impossible for her to not know about it.

"Hm, Seojin told me there was a problem?!"

"She must be confused, honey, brides get really stressed, maybe she read some of my texts wrong", she tries to reassure you and you nod, not really buying it. Seojin is a perfectionist, she wouldn't make this kind of mistake. But if the wedding planner is telling you there's nothing wrong then there's nothing you can do about it.

You walk back to the bridal suite, twenty minutes till the ceremony. When you open the door there's no one else there, where did they go? You look around trying to find someone but they're not even in the dressroom. The door opens behind you and you turn around ready to ask where's everyone, when you see Minho closing the door.

He stares at you for a few seconds, waiting for your reaction.

"Did you regret kissing me?" He asks, taking a few steps towards you.

"What are you talking about?" You say, trying to sound nonchalantly even though you want to cry just by looking at his face.

"You kissed me, you should take responsibility", he gets closer.

You feel your throat dry, taking a step back.

"You're the one who left me by myself", you mumble.

"I just went out to buy meds for us, why did you assume things?"

"Of course I'd assume things, you rejected me once, why wouldn't you do it again?" You point out, feeling angry and your answer feels like daggers being shot at him.

He takes a deep breath, grabbing both your hands and holding it close to his chest.

"There's not a day I don't regret turning you down that time", he sighs, "the truth is that I liked you since the first time I saw you but I couldn't ruin our friendship and I was so scared that I wouldn't be enough for you, like I wasn't enough for her"

You know about who he's talking about and want to kick him for even thinking you're anything like Mina, but most you want to punch her in the face, she broke his heart and left him in crumbles.

"I would never do anything to hurt you", you whisper, he's so close to you know, you can feel his breathing hitting your face.

"I know, I was scared that time and I'm still scared", he lifts your hand to his lips, "but if you give me one more chance I promise I'll be better, no one's gonna love you more than me and I'll always be there for you"

You waited for this for so long you're not even sure if it's happening.

"Can you pinch me?" You ask and he smirks.

"I can bite", he slides his hands to your waist, getting closer and giving a peek to your lips, biting your lower lip, making you shiver.

"Now I know it's real", you say, staring into his dark eyes.

"Should I take this as a yes?" He asks and you nod.

"I have been yours ever since I met you, there's not another answer but yes when it comes to you"

He smiles, the brightest smile you ever seen on him, then he kisses you, and he wants you to remember this one for the rest of your life.

Walking down the aisle with the other bridesmaids and groomsmen, arms linked with Minho's while exchanging knowing smiles, you can't help but imagine if one day it's going to be you two there. Minho on the other side is already planning how he's going to propose, because he's absolutely sure next time it's going to be you in a wedding dress and him waiting patiently for your hand.

[insxghtt]

hot knife — ellie williams x reader

if Ellie is butter, then you're a hot knife.

warnings: fluff, lots of cursing (it's ellie), lesbians being really really gayyyy, ellie and reader are 18

based on a request. y'all needed it, i needed it, we all need this.

You were angry. Well, not angry like when someone tells you something you don’t really want to hear, or when someone messes with someone you deeply care about, or even when someone is trying to tell you what to do. No, this was a different type of angry. Something you have never felt before. 

It was like when you have a dog and this dog that you love so much only cares about someone else. Shit, you’re the one feeding it, you’re the one who covers that ungrateful dog with a blanket when it’s snowing outside, you’re the one who loves and would do anything to protect that dog when someone tries to hurt it, or kidnap it, or some shit like that. 

Of course, Ellie was not a dog. It’s not like you were comparing her to one, no. That would be just superficial and kind of mean, honestly. You cared about Ellie more than you would care about a dog. Also, Ellie was so much better than that. She was perfect. Every detail of her was just beautiful to you. You weren’t angry at her. You were angry at yourself for feeling like you were invisible every time she looked at her. 

Dina. 

Why did Ellie had to pay attention to every word she said? Why did she seem so happy when Dina talked to her? Most importantly, why did you care so much? It’s not like Ellie was your girlfriend. She was your best friend. Wasn’t it enough? 

Apparently, no, considering how shitty you felt when you saw Dina and Ellie laughing in the park while playing with snowballs. That morning, you were supposed to meet with her. You two made plans to have lunch together. Well, you didn’t plan that, but it became kind of a routine, so you though she would be waiting for you in front of your house like she always did. 

Ellie didn’t like to take care of herself. She was used to skip some meals and you were quick to notice it. Of course you would notice it, you were always looking at her. Since the day she arrived at Jackson for the first time. 

She was only fourteen then, but fourteen years were enough to make her tougher than the other kids. Tougher than you. You were more innocent than her then and that made it difficult for you two to connect. Yet somehow, you were able to sneak into her life. ‘If you are butter, I can be the hot knife’, you told her one time. That was the first time she laughed in front of you. Since that moment, you made it your goal to put a smile on her face at least once every single day. She deserved it. 

It hurt like hell when you realized you were not the only one doing it anymore. Dina was pretty, smart, confident. They made a good match if you look at it from any other point of view that it’s not yours. 

“You’re staring”, a voice next to you brough you back to earth. You didn’t have to look to know that it was Jesse. 

“You too.” 

“Do you think they’re like...”, he made a pause, obviously uncomfortable with the use of the word. “Lesbians... or something?” 

You raised your eyebrows and looked at him. “Is there a problem if they were?” 

“Well, I... No, it’s just that I...”, he stuttered. 

“You are unbelievable”, you sighed. 

“Hey!”, Ellie yelled when she saw you. “You!” 

She ran to you with a big smile in her face. For a second, you even forgot about that awful feeling. 

“I knocked at your door, but I guess you weren’t there anymore”, she stopped in front of you. Her cheeks were pink because of the cold. “Me and Dina went to sleep late yesterday, so I woke up late, and... you know.” 

Yes, of course, last night. When Dina and Ellie talked for hours and hours at the stable and you just decided to leave because it was just too much for you to handle. 

It was kind of funny how Jesse gulped when he heard Ellie saying that she and Dina were alone for hours. It obvious how much he liked Dina, but she didn’t seem to realize. 

“What were you two doing last night?”, Jesse asked. 

“They were doing drugs and making out, Jesse, that’s what they were doing.”, you said sarcastically. 

“Really?” 

“Oh my God...”, you rolled your eyes. 

“We were talking”, Dina explained to him while she was getting closer. 

He laughed nervously and nodded.  

“I’m sorry I made you wait”, Ellie said to you. 

“It’s fine.” 

You just shrugged and turned away, now heading to the bar where you usually had your lunch. Ellie looked at Dina without really knowing what to do. You didn’t sound fine. Dina gestured for her to follow you and that was what she did. 

You entered the bar with her. It was weird how distant you were, but she tried her best to stay positive. You saw Seth from far away and gave him a signal. He already knew you and Ellie pretty well. He didn’t exactly like you, but he liked Maria, Maria liked you and you liked Ellie. That meant free lunch every day. 

When you sat at one of the tables to wait for the food, she sat in front of you. 

“Listen, I found this movie in one of the patrols and I...” 

“That’s nice”, you interrupted her, staring at your hands. 

“Okay...”, she nodded. You were not interested in the movie. Alright. “So, I was thinking we could...” 

“Did you and Dina have fun last night?” 

She opened her mouth to answer, but Seth called your name before she could say anything. You stood up and walked to the man behind the counter. 

“Thank you, Seth”, you said before taking the two sandwiches. 

The man responded with a mumble. You didn’t look at Ellie when you gave her one of the sandwiches, but she still followed you when you walked out of the bar. 

“Can you slow down a bit?”, Ellie asked. 

It didn’t really make a difference. It took her a few seconds to realize where you were going. Your home. Something was off. You two usually had lunch in the park. When it was too cold, you went to her place because it was closer. 

When you finally arrived at your house, you didn’t ask her to come in. No, you entered the door and closed it behind you. Okay, that was just too much. 

“Hey, what the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“Oh, so now you care!”, you yelled too from inside the house. 

“What?”, she tried to open the door, but it was locked. “Did you just lock me outside your house?” 

There was silence for a few seconds. “No...” 

“The door seems pretty fucking locked to me!” 

You were being childish, and you knew it. With a sigh, you left the sandwich on the corner table and opened the door. Ellie stared at you, but she didn’t seem angry. No, she seemed... hurt? 

“Are you mad at me because I woke up late?” 

“Oh, fuck you! It’s not about that!” 

“Alright, then what is it?”, she crossed her arms, waiting for an explanation. 

You had no other option but to just deny it. 

“It’s nothing.” 

“Really? You think I'm gonna buy that?” 

“I don’t need you to, it’s the truth”, you shrugged. 

“So, you just ignored me and locked me out of your house for nothing?” 

“Maybe I didn’t see you.” 

“You did see me.” 

“Maybe it was the wind.” 

“The wind can lock doors now?” 

You really had no arguments, huh? 

“Maybe.” 

“Stop...”, she whispered. “Come on, let me in? It’s cold.” 

You sighed and gave her space to enter you house. When you closed the door, the silence filled the room. Ellie took the backpack off her back and looked for something in one of the pockets. You watched in silence as she took a VHS film and showed it to you. 

“This is what I was telling you about...” 

“Who the fuck is Donnie Darko?”, you read the name. 

“I was hoping to find out.” 

Why did she had to look at you like that? 

“Well, I think Dina will love it.” 

“Dina? Why would I...”, she seemed confused for a moment, but then it hit her. “Wait, are you jealous of me and Dina?” 

Jealous. Was that the word? 

“Fuck, no!” 

“Oh, my fucking God, you’re jealous!” 

“No, I'm not!”, you could feel your cheeks burning right now. “Why would I be jealous of you two?” 

“I don’t know, maybe you have a thing for her...” 

“I do not have a thing for her.” 

“You have a thing for someone then?” 

Her confusion was making you dizzy. You sighed and sat on the couch of the living room. 

“Okay...”, she was still trying to absorb that information. She felt weird trying to picture you with someone else. “Who is it then?” 

“Shut up, I don’t wanna talk about it.” 

“I think we are already talking about it, so...”, she looked at you. “It’s okay. You can tell me, you know?” 

“No, I can’t.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I can’t lie to you, Ellie.” 

“But you don’t have to lie... right?”, she said, and you finally looked at her with tears in your eyes. “Oh...” 

You didn’t have to say anything, it was too obvious. You were in love with her. The tears started to roll down your cheeks, and you didn’t try to stop them. It was done, you couldn’t go back in time. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Ellie was staring at the floor. Her silence was terrifying to you. What if she never talks to you again? All your worries were soon replaced by confusion when she let out a laugh. 

“You know what’s funny?”, she smiled and looked at you. “I spent a week with this movie in my backpack, scared that if I invited you to watch it with me you would realize I was asking you on a date.” 

She left the VHS tape in the center table. 

“And I really spent hours yesterday talking to Dina, describing to her everything I feel when you’re around, asking her if it would be too bad if I really did ask you on a date.” 

The way you looked at her made her heart melt. It was almost as if you were begging for that to be true. 

“So, is that what this is?”, you pointed to the VHS tape. 

“I mean, if you’d like that, then I guess it is”, she looked down, trying to hide the tears in her eyes. 

You nodded and stood up. 

“I do like that.” 

She stepped your way, your faces closer than ever. “Okay, then it’s a date.” 

You gave her a shy smile and paid attention to every single detail of her. Eyes, nose, lips. 

“It’s a date”, you whispered before leaving a soft kiss on her lips. 

[agi-ppangx]

💭right person, wrong time (100 followers special)

chan | minho | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | felix | seungmin | jeongin

“you should definitely go,” chan said quietly, his voice strained and filled with misery. you didn't say anything back, quietly fighting the tears angrily wailing in your eyes.

you two were lying on the beach, listening to waves hitting the shore. the sea was restless that day - as if it sensed your mood. you were cuddled with him on a small blanket you took from the car, surrounded by his cologne, the scent you knew all too well and loved even more. 

you'd just told him about the offer you received a few days before. you were given this huge opportunity which could possibly change your entire career for better. though there was something that made this whole thing a bit less exciting. yes, you got into a one-year program for aspiring scientists, but it was taking place in canada. but who would reject such a great opportunity to finally spread their wings? who would even question whether to go or not? well, that would be you. of course, it was huge and it could quite literally change your whole life - better income, bigger knowledge, more opportunities to work with respected scientists in the future. but then there was chan. 

you two met almost five years earlier. you were friends with felix, who happened to be chan’s friend as well, so it was natural for the two of you to meet up at different occasions. and the bond between you grew and grew. he would help you to figure out how to write an essay for a particularly mean lecturer even though he knew shit about the topic. and he would always bring you snacks and coffee for your late study sessions, helping you to write and cut the flashcards and proofread your drafts to check if there are any typos and grammar mistakes. but you two would also enjoy mundane activities such as going to the movies or cooking together. you would spare shy glances at him when he wasn’t looking just to admire him. in the meantime he shared his love for music with you, creating you various playlists for different occasions and playing piano for you. he'd never told you before, but with you he felt safe, as if any worries in his life disappeared when you approached him, you were his haven. and over the time you realised that you couldn’t lie to yourself anymore - his shiny eyes, soft smile and unique worldview made you fall in love with him too. of course, you hadn’t figured it out in a few days, you simply couldn’t. but after what seemed like eternity you both sorted things out in your heads and a week ago you finally talked about it. and when you thought that everything in your life was coming together the offer came and you started questioning every single decision you have ever made. you thought about how are you going to tell chan about it - you knew he would be supportive, of course he would. and you loved that about him. but deep down you were hoping, just a little bit, that he’s going to be selfish this time, that he’s going to tell you “please stay here with me”. but he simply couldn’t, he knew this was too big for you to let it go. 

“you do want to go, right?” he then asked, there was panic in his voice at your lack of response. why was he panicked? “i guess so…” you finally mumbled, not sure at the moment. all you knew is that you wanted to be where you were right now - in chan’s arms, surrounded by his warm body and this pretty cologne. 

“what do you mean? i mean, you love your job, it’s a great offer. i’m pretty sure not everyone got it” he spoke again, trying to help you, convince you that this is what you should do right now. in reality he tried to convince himself, not wanting to say anything that could discourage you from going. of course he wanted you to make your dreams happen, your happiness was his happiness. but why now? 

"sure, i love my job, i just… now i wanna be here, with you," you mumbled, cheeks rosy. suddenly you felt embarrassed, because who on earth would put a boy over a great career? 

but chan wasn't just a boy, he was a person you could quite literally see your future with. it didn't matter that you weren't really in a real relationship yet, you both knew it was just a formality now. "hey, yn, i'm not mad that you're leaving now. i want you to be happy and i know this is gonna make you happy, yeah?" he whispered, his voice getting weaker and weaker with every word. you suddenly got up, breaking free from his warm embrace. "you know what would make me happy now? being here, with you," you shouted, angry tears welling in your eyes. "going to the convenience store at 2am to buy some snacks, watching a new movie on netflix and cuddling on a sunday morning. you would make me really happy now," you whispered the last words, feeling defeated. what was the point of lying? he knew how you felt towards him. 

the tears started falling down your face and you started to shiver from the cold wind. chan didn't waste time, he got up as well and brought you to his chest, hugging tightly, and started rubbing soothing circles on your back. he muttered sweet nothing into your hair, kissing your forehead from time to time. but you couldn't calm down, not now. you wanted to let out your anger and misery, wanted the whole world to know how deeply hurt you're right now. you wanted to scream on the top of your lungs at whoever was up there, cursing at them for putting you in this situation. 

but you sobbed into chan's chest instead, desperately clutching at his hoodie. you were like a porcelain doll, fragile and defenseless. 

"it sucks, you know? i-i really thought we could be together but-" you hiccuped through tears. at this point your head hurt, your eyes stung and you grew more and more tired. "it's okay, i'll wait for you however long you want me to" chan interrupted you, sensing your pain. it was hard for him too, knowing he has to set you free and let you spread your wings. how bittersweet, chan thought. he was willing to wait for you, but god, was he impatient by nature. he wanted to kiss you hungrily, clutch into your clothes and never let go. but now it would only broke the two of you even more and he was not letting it happen. 

you stayed like this for a long time, over the time your broken sobs stopped, but you didn't let go of chan, clutching to him like a koala. he was quiet, running his fingers through your hair. 

"i don't want you to regret going, yn" chan spoke suddenly, his voice barely above the whisper. "i don't mind waiting, i just want you to go there and make your dream come true, 'cause seeing you happy will make me happy." you sighed and finally looked up to make eye contact with chan. "you know i love you, right?" chan was caught of guard by your words, but he smiled nonetheless. he nodded and placed a soft kiss on your temple. "i will come back and when i do i'll make sure to compensate you this year," you exclaimed, taking his hand in yours and squeezing it. 

a few days later chan accompanied you to the airport. you didn't want to let go of his hand, as if he was going to disappear as soon as you do. but the time didn't stop for the two of you and you had to say your goodbyes. "can i kiss you?" chan asked you and you looked at him. "not now. if you do, i won't go anywhere." he only smiled sadly at your words but nodded his head. he understood. with that you pecked his cheek instead and let go of his hand with tears in your eyes. "see you soon, chan" you whispered. "see you soon, yn".

feedback and reblogs highly appreciated🫶🏽

[heavyhitterheaux]

Got Me Thinking

Part 3: Kiss it Better (NSFW)

Synopsis: Jack ends up getting into an argument with Kelsey and quickly makes it up in his mind to visit you in order to take his mind off of it. Little did the two of you know that those feelings that had been buried all those years ago would come straight up to the surface.

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Read Part 1 and Part 2 first

Do not engage if underage

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Jack let out a frustrated sigh thinking about the argument that had ensued between him and Kelsey that morning as he was now currently on a plane to California for Druski's premiere. All that he asked of her was to be a little more supportive as he had been under a lot of stress lately and wasn't taking his feelings into consideration and that sent them into a full blown yelling match with her accusing him of saying that she wasn't supportive of him at all.

Shaking his head and trying not to think about it, he pulled out his phone to text you and see what you were up to since he wanted to see you before leaving the state. Druski's premiere was later on that day and he didn't plan on doing anything after except being with you if you were available.

Ever since the two of you reunited at his birthday party, you were all that he could think about. For the entire week that you were there, he spent about every day with you and it was safe to say that he missed your presence and being around you.

And his feelings that were buried deep down had made their way to the surface and had hit him like a ton of bricks.

Yes, he married Kelsey. But did he love her? When they got married he definitely did, but he didn't love her as much as he loved you and knew that no one else on the face of the earth would be able to fill your shoes. He was hurt when he found out you got married, but what could he had done at that point? The two of you hadn't spoken for years and even though he wanted it to be him, he was happy that you found happiness and would never try to ruin that for you. But now hearing about how Xavier had been treating you, he wanted to get you away from him as soon as he could. He knew you were trying to plan everything out, but he didn't want you to have to deal with that situation any longer.

Jack Jack- What are you getting up to tonight pretty girl?

You- Eating and sleeping. My all time favorite pastimes.

Jack Jack- Hmm, now you can't do that if I'm coming to see you, now can you?

You- 👀

You- When will you be here!?!?

Jack Jack- In about an hour or so. I know you're still working but I'm going to Druski's premiere and I wanted to see you after. So around 11 tonight? Is that too late?

You- Never too late when it involves me getting to see you. Now I'm hoping the day goes by a little faster.

Jack Jack- Aww does someone miss me?

You- Don’t push it lol

Jack Jack- Been having a shitty week but I know seeing you will make it better.

You- Oh no. My poor baby. Tell me all about it later. Just text me the address of your hotel and the room. I know how reserved you are and highly doubt you want paparazzi in your face.

Jack Jack- Can't wait to see you

Clay looked over at Jack and immediately asked what had him in such a good mood since he had literally been pissed off less than ten minutes ago.

“Who are you texting that has you smiling like that?”

“Well we know it's not Kelsey.” Urban muttered and Clay couldn't help but to stifle a laugh.

“My guess is Y/N, since he hasn't stopped talking about her.”

“The person that you should have married.”

“And how many times are you going to remind me? What was I supposed to do? Make her divorce him so I could marry her? We hadn't even talked in seven years at that point!” Jack exclaimed while looking at both of them.

“You should've been like I OBJECT!”

“I mean…… that plan could work because she had straight googly eyes when yall made eye contact.”

“And she didn't leave your side the entire night.” Urban added.

“And you don't like your wife. None of us do.”

“I… not too much on Kelsey now!” Jack said while attempting to defend his wife, but all they did was look at him.

“Bruh… DIVORCE.HER.ASS.”

“Because we're legit confused on how and why you married her in the first place. We told you not to and now look, sitting up here miserable and unhappy.”

“I care about her!” Jack said, defending his actions.

“Notice how you said care and not love? Yall argue every waking hour and you are always grumpy. You haven't been grumpy and in a mood since you basically spent your entire birthday week up Y/N's ass. Well except for today when you know, got into an argument with that woman who shares your last name.”

“Wait…. did yall… fuck? As in you and Y/N?”

“NO URB! I didn't cheat on Kelsey and did we forget that Y/N is married too?”

“What is that supposed to mean? We don't like him either. Don't even know shit about him, but he's not you and you and Y/N belong together. Don't make me start singing Mariah Carey.”

“And Kelsey treats you like the gum on the bottom of her shoe.”

“Facts, no printer.”

“Yall just don't know her like I do.”

“And we don't want to.”

Jack sighed and ran a hand through his curly hair because he knew that they were exactly right.

“Think about it like this. Your own wife didn't come to your birthday party yet, your EX-GIRLFRIEND from when you were in HIGH SCHOOL did. What does that tell you?”

“And who is she married to?”

“His name is Xavier.” Jack answered as he pulled up your instagram and handed Urban his phone.

“Oh.”

“Oh? What do you mean oh?” Jack asked as everyone had now gathered around Urban to get a glimpse.

“If this is the dude you're competing with, you can take him.”

“Maybe we could set up a boxing match.”

“Jack is definitely a lover and not a fighter. He wouldn't make it to the second round.”

“HEY!”

“Don't get mad at me because it's true.” Clay replied while holding his hands up in defense.

“But the thing is, Y/N told me she's divorcing him.”

“Good! Then ease your way in!”

“And he's about to have a baby on her.”

“Well got damn. HE CHEATED? ON Y/N? LIKE… JACK IF THAT WASN'T YOUR GIRL…”

“Don't finish that sentence, but yes.”

“Well divorce the wicked witch of the west so you can marry her.”

“Clay! Stop calling her that!”

“Why? It's funny and she's evil so it fits her personality.”

“Not the point!”

“Oh, so you agree?”

“Look, I’m going to try and make it work with Kelsey.” Jack told them, but at this point he didn't know if he was trying to convince them or trying to convince himself.

“I think I threw up in my mouth a little.”

—

You couldn't wait until your last case of the day since that would then let you go home and sleep until It was time to meet up with Jack. It was nice since Xavier was now on another one of his business trips, but you knew all that meant was his was with the woman who he was cheating on you with. He had hid it well when he first stepped out on you, but within the last year he had grown sloppy, but he still had no clue about you knowing.

It was still early in the afternoon when you decided to shoot Jack a quick text to let him know that he could now come over to your house seeing as your husband was nowhere to be found and went off to take a shower to wash the long day off of you.

You saw Jack's reply once you stepped out of the shower and he said that he would let you know when he was on his way. There were still a few more hours left to kill so you decided to take a short quick nap before he got there. But as much as you wanted to, your mind just wouldn't turn off.

The thoughts that consumed your mind consisted of Xavier and Jack and how you never should have ended your relationship with Jack because you knew for a fact that you would have been a lot happier. But, you loved Xavier too despite what he's doing to you even though it hurts to no end. He barely showed you any affection anymore and if he did, it felt forced. But when Jack did it? Felt like something out of a fairytale.

You simply wish you could fast forward to the part where you were happy.

Startled by a sudden knock on the door, you lifted your head to peek at your phone and noticed it was around 11:15 and instantly got excited because you knew it was Jack.

Once you opened the front door, you immediately tackled him into a hug as he kissed the top of your head.

“Hey Buttercup.” Your heart instantly fluttered hearing the nickname that Jack had given to you when the two of you were fifteen and the smile on your face couldn't help but to get bigger.

“Hey, I think the day went by extra slow because I couldn't wait to see you.” You replied as you stepped to the side to let him in.

Once he was in the foyer, he was taken in by his surroundings.

“You mean to tell me yall got this big ass house for only two people?”

“The goal was for it to be filled with little ones but that dream has quickly gone out the window.” You quietly answered and it looked like he was about to say something, but stopped himself.

But it came out anyway.

“You wouldn't want to be tied to someone like that for the rest of your life anyway. You deserve better than that.”

“I… I know. I just feel that I'm in a difficult position. But moving on because I know you didn't come here to hear me whine about him. Let me give you the grand tour.”

“It doesn't bother me. If you need to vent, I'm always going to be there to listen. No matter what time of day or night it is.”

“I really appreciate you saying that.”

Moving throughout the house, you showed him everything there was to see and you simply left your bedroom and closet for last knowing that he was going to spend at least an hour admiring your shoe collection.

Once you opened the double doors to the master bedroom, he simply laughed to himself.

“What in the world is so funny, Jackson?”

“I can tell that you designed this, didn't you?”

“He let me have at it so I simply did what I want with it.”

“So this is where the magic happens?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows and you rolled your eyes.

“Magic? As in me using my vibrator because that is literally the only magic that happens here. Anyway, let me show you my closet because I know you'll definitely like it.”

“So, we're just going to skip over the vibrator part that you mentioned?” Jack asked and you simply shrugged.

“Not every guy is in tune with his wife's body and knows how to please her, but that's a story for another day.”

“He definitely should be and there's no excuse for that.”

Jack then followed behind as you led the way into the walk-in closet and he immediately took note of your shoe collection just like you knew he would.

“I… Well damn. Maybe you should be an ambassador for New Balance too.”

“I can't help it. I literally buy a pair every time I go out. And a lot of that time is spent thinking about how my life is a hot ass mess. Sorry I'm doing it again. Now what had you upset earlier?”

“You don't have to apologize and it was Kelsey.”

“What happened?”

“All I asked was if she could be more supportive since I have had a lot going on and been kinda stressed out. She took it upon herself to accuse me of saying she's not supportive at all and it turned into a screaming match. Well her screaming at me really.”

“Did she not comprehend what you were saying?”

“As of lately, it seems like she's not comprehending anything when she used to not do that. Clay calls her the wicked witch of the west.”

You couldn't help but to immediately laugh.

“I'm sorry, but that is hilarious.”

“It's sad to say but I've gotten used to it.”

“Why? You shouldn't be used to arguing with your spouse all the time.”

“No, but… I don't know. I always say that I want to try and make it work between the both of us but when I replay these incidents over and over again it makes me think that it might not actually be worth it.”

“Then if it isn't worth it, let it go. Why would you want to be married to someone like that anyway?” You said which was similar to what he had told you earlier.

“Hmm, you want the honest answer?”

“Of course I do.”

“Only because my real bride was already spoken for.” He answered while looking directly at you.

You didn't answer him as he had quickly gotten distracted with something hanging up in your closet.

“Wait… Is this my hoodie? You've had it all this time?” He asked while holding it up and inspecting it.

“Yeah, it was comfy so I decided to steal it and never give it back.”

“Hmm, how does your husband feel about you having your ex-boyfriend's hoodie?”

“Well it's a good thing he doesn't know now isn't it? It still smells like you too believe it or not after all these years. And why should he even care? It's not like we're having sex with each other because that's exactly what he's doing and ended up getting her pregnant.”

“We're not, but it definitely sounds like you need someone to please you because he's not doing his job.”

The two of you were now dangerously close as Jack once again started playing with the ends of your hair as the hand that wasn't occupied cupped your face. Before you knew it, he leaned in and his lips were on yours. After kissing him back you immediately pushed him away from you.

“Jack… we can't and you know that.” You said not believing your own words for a second.

“Is it the fact that we can't or the fact that you don't want to admit that you feel the same way about me as you did when you were fourteen?” He asked you as he closed the space in between the two of you once more.

When you were quiet, he asked you once again and your thoughts were running rampant.

“Y/N, do you want me to stop?” He asked as he began to kiss down your neck and you could feel the river that was beginning to form between your thighs.

“No.” You breathed out before bringing his face back close to yours.

His hand reached under your shirt and was surprised to find out that you weren't wearing anything underneath and began to massage them and roll your nipples in between his fingers instantly making them hard as he kept his mouth on yours.

You broke apart from him as he was simply staring at you with his thumb grazing your cheek.

No words were spoken as you led him back into the master bedroom with both of you trying to strip out of the clothes that you were wearing at a rapid speed.

Once you were left bare underneath him, he slowly inserted two fingers into you seeing how wet you were and he immediately smirked as he leaned down to kiss you.

You moaned into his mouth and that was when he increased his pace moving his fingers in and out of you.

By this point your eyes were closed and you rightfully gasped as you felt him take one long lick across your folds. Jack then spread your legs to the point where they were behind your head so that he would have enough room.

“I don't think your husband would take it too well that I'm fucking his wife in his bed but clearly someone has to do it since he can't get it right.” You heard him say and you let out a quiet laugh before you once again felt his mouth on you.

You couldn't even remember the last time that you were in that much pleasure, but knew that Jack was only getting started.

Between him using his mouth and his fingers, you knew it wouldn't take long in order for you to reach your peak and you decided to speed up the process by playing with your pierced nipples.

As you loudly moaned his name, Jack then went to suck on your clit and you knew it was only a matter of seconds before you were going to hit your peak.

“Oh, fuck. Right there, stay right there.” You said as your hands were now tangled in his hair in order to be able to keep him as close as possible.

“Baby, I’m about to…”

“Then do it.” Jack said as he broke away from you to answer but went right back to his original position.

Your orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks that your legs were shaking, but Jack hadn't stopped eating you out which quickly made you go into having another one.

No sound was coming out of your mouth as Jack let you ride it out before detaching from you and crawling back up your body with him planting kisses on your skin along his path.

Once he reached your lips, he gave you several pecks before you felt his fingers now massaging your clit and he was now smirking at you.

“You ready for me, sweet girl? I can tell that your body is, but I need to hear you say it.”

“Been ready for you.”

As you noticed the precum leaking from the tip, you sat up and quickly took him in your mouth, making him hiss and throw his head back in pleasure.

You used your hand for where your mouth couldn't reach and you soon felt him twitch and took that as a sign that he was growing closer to hitting his peak when he suddenly lightly pushed you away from him and you quickly looked up at him confused.

“There's no way I'm about to last much longer and I need to feel you.”

“I'm on birth control, so it's all good. Nothing to worry about.” You said as you got settled once more at the top of the bed as he took hold of your hips and slowly entered you, leading to a moan escaping both of your mouths.

“You feel so good around me, but you have to relax baby and give me some room. Just relax, I got you.”

It was definitely easier said than done.

But once you did and the two of you got in a comfortable rhythm, your arms went around Jack's neck as he buried his face in your shoulder.

Hearing him moan in your ear let you know another orgasm was right around the corner as you then reached down to play with your clit. Your hand was soon replaced with his as you then heard the garage door open.

“Fuck, he's back early.”

“We're not leaving this bed until you scream my name, you understand?”

You immediately nodded your head as Jack then increased his pace as you were hoping to not get caught by your husband. But at this point in time, you didn't care.

The thrill of being caught got you excited.

“That's it. That's it, pretty girl. Are you going to cum for me? Cum all over my dick.”

Without another word, both of you hit your peak at the same time with you loudly moaning in his ear. As he was letting you recover, he placed kisses all over your body before planting one more on your lips which immediately made you smile.

“We need to hurry up and get dressed before he comes upstairs? Don't you think?” Jack asked but not before taking one of your nipples in his mouth and lightly sucking.

“Don't start because now we definitely can't finish.”

“Hmm… to be continued.”

Once the two of you slipped your clothes back on and made your way back downstairs you were now sitting on the couch with the television on as Xavier walked in.

“Oh hey, you're back early.” You said as he leaned down to kiss you which now left a sour taste in your mouth.

“I figured why not since I wanted to spend time with my wife. And who do we have here?”

“Jack this is my husband Xavier and Xavier this is Jack. We went to high school together and he was in town so we decided to catch up.”

“Nice to meet you Jack.”

“You too.” Jack replied as he was taking in meeting your piece of shit husband in person for the first time.

“Doesn't surprise me you two are still catching up at 3 in the morning. Y/N has always been a night owl.” He said in a somewhat accusatory tone, but Jack quickly shut it down.

“Well I had a premiere to go to and didn't get finished until late, but I was just leaving since I have an early flight.”

“Well next time you're here, we all should go out.” Xavier offered and Jack quickly agreed.

“Sure thing and I can bring my wife so it will be a double date.”

Hearing him say that immediately made your stomach go into a series of knots.

“Come on Jack so I can walk you out.”

Once outside and by his rental car, the two of you immediately busted out laughing.

“I don't think I've ever gotten dressed that fast before. That had to be some type of record.”

“I mean he could have always come in to get a few pointers from me.” Jack replied and you lightly hit his arm.

“What? You know I'm telling the truth. When's the last time he made you feel that good?” Jack asked as he whispered the last part in your ear and slipped a hand in your shorts.

“Babe…”

“I take that as the answer being never.” He said as he removed his hand and brought it up to his mouth to suck on his fingers.

“Taste so good and you are making it so hard for me to not fuck you again right here and right now.”

“Behave, Jackman!” You exclaimed as he quickly began playing with your hair and the two of you stood in a comfortable silence.

“Until next time, buttercup.”

“Until next time, Jackson.”

“Oh and I hope you don't mind me taking these?” He asked as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out the purple thong that you had been wearing earlier before it got discarded on the floor.

“You know purple's my favorite color.” Was all he said before he placed a kiss on your cheek.

After Jack had drove off, you went back into the house and the realization of what you had just done hit you.

You just cheated on your husband with your ex-boyfriend.

And didn't regret it one bit.

[nouearth]

because i love you.

jason todd x male reader.

summary: your birthday is a memory you often ignore. jason is determined to forge a new, unforgettable one.

wc: 3k. genre: fluff, comfort. warnings: domestic!au, crying, descriptions of food.

a/n: happy belated birthday, anon! i know this was late, but i wanted to priortize this over my other requests before it would be even later, LOL. hope you had a great one, and that this was a gift to remember!

request: anon.

“so,” a gruff voice briefly broke your focus from peering through the oven door, but the cookies had seconds left in the oven, so you'd figure a hum to acknowledge jason's presence would suffice.

it was a painful and mundane process to squat and watch the cookie batter form into heavenly, ooey-gooey chocolatey goodness. sure, you could’ve done something to pass the time—finish your backlog of books, or even the tv dramas you promised your friends you would finish soon—but the cookies always came out perfect like this.

once, you decided to do laundry while letting the cookies bake. as soon as the oven rang, the thought of over-baking your perfected recipe of cookies, that everyone had gleefully devoured and expected at every potluck, chased you faster than a wild fox could. to your bewilderment (and exhaustion), a few seconds longer in the oven changed the texture of the baked treats. though no one noticed, even if you insisted that the taste changed as well, it ruined your entire day and since then, you’ve made a silly promise to yourself to never let these cookies out of your sight.

even if your boyfriend was squatting with you, kissing you at the neck now. 

“earth to (m/n),” his lips brushed deep into your skin, and you could hear him inhaling your natural scent. for a minute there, he forgot you were baking, so the smell of chocolate and brown sugar certainly awakened an unexpected appetite in him. it growled. 

“hello.” jason stretched a whisper into your neck, and you chuckled when his gruff voice tickled you, vowels vibrating lowly into your skin.

“someone’s needy.” you turned to finally greet him with a smile, some kind of acknowledgement, and he begrudgingly accepted it with a kiss. it was almost as sweet as the sugar crystals in the cookie batter he sampled earlier. 

two more minutes now.

“guess i’ll have to bake myself into a cookie to get your attention these days,” jason muttered, pressing his chest to your broad back. the heat from the oven radiated in front of you, yet your back felt warmer.

your head leaned back on his shoulder, grinning towards his frown while he tucked his chin in the vacant space between your neck and shoulder. “whoa, are you envious of my cookies now? that’s kind of sick considering you inhale them within seconds after i take them out of the oven—“

“i eat anything.” jason stated dryly, his palms roamed over your stomach to chase his appetite away as if your body and his were connected. his lips found your neck again, adding to the flush of your skin while one hand slipped under the waistband of your shorts to satiate a different craving. your legs slowly sprawled to accommodate his inviting touch, humming. “they make a great pre-workout.” 

and with the close of your legs, access had been denied. “so, they’re not delicious like you’ve been claiming?”

jason widened his eyes, yanking his hand out of your shorts to put his hands up defensively. “wait, no. that’s not— okay, we’re getting off-topic!”

“hey,“ the oven sang, and with a delighted hop, you abandoned your boyfriend on the floor to tend to your long-awaited baked goods. “you’re the one that brought it up!”

the smell of chocolate and sugar billowed in the air when you opened the oven, and jason’s appetite returned like a parasite once the delicious aroma hit his nose. 

it hadn’t been that long since you’ve started baking, but your hobby had quickly become a beloved activity (and expense), and your affection for it was telling through the wear and tear of your oven mitts. you burned yourself a few times when the baking sheet pressed into various ripped holes, but despite jason’s concern, you never found it damaged enough to purchase a new one. besides, it didn’t take very long to learn the pattern of the hot spots.

two baking sheets, filled with freshly-baked cookies, slid onto the stovetop, and you closed the oven, turning it off after. steam rose from the bloomed batter and you marveled at the sight: rustic, crinkly brown doughs that harbored mounds of comfort and nostalgia in one snack. though for some people, in one bite. the smell hits you after, stung your nose with brown sugar and chocolate chips, and you approved the batch with a deep inhale. 

“what did you want to talk about?” a crack of kosher salt was topped to the cookies, adding to the rustic presentation of the baked goods.

“well,” the smell of the cookies pulled him back to his feet, then by your side as he watched the chunky salt enchant the goods to a higher level. “it’s someone’s birthday soon.” though he knew not to, he reached out to sample an edge of the dough anyway.

“careful,” you watched him with amusement and high curiosity, eyebrows raised to inquire him of the taste. though you knew the answer by the time the chocolate hit his tongue, it was tenfold more interesting than the topic of your birthday.  “what about it?” you asked, and he hummed in approval, greed guiding his hand back to the piping hot cookies.

“so—ow,” the heat bit at jason’s fingers and his hand yanked back to immediately flick remnants of the sting off. “didn’t you want to do anything? a party? dinner? you never even told me what you wanted for your gifts.”

“hm,” you took the oven mitts off and directed the draft towards the steam with quick and light swings, then towards jason’s fingers as he began picking at the chocolate that oozed out. “i never took you as someone who cared about birthdays that much.”

“yeah, well,” he blew on his chocolate stained finger once more before pressing it to your smile. “we’re learning more about each other every day, aren’t we?”

“and it’s kind of incredible how you haven’t dumped me yet.” you laughed and licked the bittersweet stain off your lips. jason only joined with a mere chuckle. he never liked it when you talked about yourself like this.

“seriously though,” jason leaned on the counter with his elbow, nudging your waist with a gentle pat. his hair delicately parted to the side, watching you like you were the only one. “what do you want to do? we can do whatever you want.” devouring the cookies was the last thing on his mind now. 

you’re the only one.

“jason,” the steam slowly waft in the air as you averted your gaze to the cookies cooling. salt glinted under the lights, and they have never looked sweeter. “it’s sweet of you and i appreciate it, but…” yet, there was a bitter aftertaste when you nibbled on a crumble. “i don’t really celebrate my birthday.”

“what?” his immediate instinct was to hold you, taking you by the waist as if it could protect you from the memory of the past. “how come? did something bad happen?”

“no, no. nothing like that!” laughing it off always helped you alleviate the bitterness of your thoughts. “it’s just…” but for some reason, your throat began to swell when you do.

“just…?” jason pressed his hand to your waist in a heartfelt attempt at squeezing an answer out of you. “come on, i’m at the edge of my seat here.”

you laughed, taking his hand off and then into your own, as you guided him out of the kitchen and to the living room. the sweet smell was dizzying now. plus your legs hurt from the squatting earlier. you needed some place to snuggle yourself into. preferably, your couch. 

“my family could never afford stuff, so it hasn’t been a thing since…” a yawn escaped your lips as you found comfort into the embrace of jason’s arms. his broad chest was a pillow you never asked for, and these days, you found it to be the best solace your head demanded for. “i guess when i was eight?”

“oh,” jason realized, then began stroking the side of your head as an apology. “i didn’t mean to pry or—“

“it’s no big deal.” in between his caresses, you quickly tilted your head back to press a kiss to his palm—a measurement to dispel his worries. “i’ve spent a longer part of my life not celebrating it, so it’s just a norm now! honestly, i didn’t even notice that my birthday was coming up until you mentioned it to me.”

closing your eyes, images of your family appeared in soft, fading blurs. they smiled through gritted teeth, as did you, and sweated through hard labor of work that managed to put food on a table. “and i also don’t blame my parents, if that’s what you’re thinking. i did at first, but shit happens.” 

though, never a cake.

“you really do nothing since then, though? not even cook yourself dinner or something?” the affection caresses spread to your cheeks and the warmth pulled at the corners of your mouth into a smile.

“i did once,” you shifted to connect your warmth to his. in midst, you were reminded that the smell of jason’s cologne will always triumph over the scent of your cookies. “but it just kind of made things sad, to be honest. it felt weird.” 

“but you celebrated my birthday.” the memories warmed him. “for someone who never celebrated their own, you sure knew how to throw a great party.” laughter, a delicious dinner, and drink shenanigans echoed in passing. “even if it was only us.”

you chuckled at the irony of it all, satisfied that you’ve managed to impress your boyfriend despite your inexperience. 

“well,” glancing up, you then held jason’s doting stare, collected it into your soul, and then sealed it into a vault.

“that’s because i love you.” 

the stroll from your car and to your apartment seized all the energy left in you. aside from carrying bags of groceries, the heavy weight slowly drained your arms of life, the long day of work had a major factor to your exhaustion. awaiting approvals while you were approaching a tight deadline was never ideal, but luckily it got extended, so you can sleep a teensy-bit better tonight. 

grunting, your veins pulsed when you lifted the heavy bags with one arm to punch in the code to your keypad, refusing to be defeated by packs of frozen fruit, greek yogurt, jason’s protein powder, and his mandatory cereal boxes. the beep and green light compelled a satisfied noise out of you and you immediately bouldered into your apartment, stumbling through the garden of your shoes and jason’s, and into the kitchen within a single, hurried stride.

“jase?!” you grunted loud from below, setting the groceries down as soon as the handles pressed into a certain spot in your vein that made you wince. jason’s voiced boomed from above. 

“yeah?!”

as much as you hated it when jason left his soda out, today would be an exception. you downed it in one dreamy gulp, and you could feel your body absorb the sugars, working overtime to churn it into energy afterward.

“can you put the groceries back for me?! i want to go shower!” the kitchen sink alleviated some of that humidity built atop your hands, but you needed it off your body.

“yeah!” jason shouted out. “i’ll be down in a sec!” 

it took you a moment, still high from the amount of energy you’ve exerted within the short amount of time, but the air smelled sweetly familiar. of vanilla, brown sugar, a hint of cinnamon, you sniffed out. 

must’ve baked the cookies i froze for him. you looked around, a sudden desperate need for another ounce of sugar in your body after your commendable performance today. 

and of course, he ate them all.

as soon as you came up the stairs, jason met you outside with a kiss—a password to your bedroom, you’d reckon.

your arms opened up for a hug. “they didn’t have the flavor you wanted, so i—“ but embracing the body of your lover, they were immediately occupied by a pile of your clothes for the night.

“yeah, yeah! that’s fine.” jason began nudging, then pushing you to the bathroom, scrunching his face. “you stink, go shower.”

“wait, why are you acting—“ bewilderment passed you as you stumbled back, and your curiosity was met by more push back, literally. the latter looked nerved, unusually antsy, and that was never a good sign. “jason, are you okay—“

“uh-huh, yeah! yeah, yeah. fine.” before you could even get another question out, the door slammed shut. “wash up! i’m gonna put the groceries back!”

oooookay..?

it took a few beats to register what exactly happened, but all of it was buried to the back of your mind as soon as you started the shower. refreshing and cooling as that soda you downed earlier.

damn, i should’ve restocked on that…

the cold draft cooled your damp skin when you stepped out the bathroom, releasing harbored humidity, and your stress for the day left along with it.

“hey,” your voice echoed while you stepped downstairs, expecting jason to either be on the couch or in the kitchen, most likely eating away at your snacks. “what do you want to eat for dinner—“

“jason?” instead, you were met with complete darkness—well, as dark as it could be while impending dusk approached your windows.

he wasn’t on the couch, entertainment-free. 

you stepped into the kitchen. not there, either. the groceries were put away, but the plastic bags were scattered around the floor. not a single soul, a whisper, or a sound, except for the crinkle of the bags as you stashed them into your recyclables.

either the shower cleared your sinuses, or jason plugged in a new wall fragrance, because the smell was sweeter compared to before. chocolate in its new top note, and vanilla, again, in its base. 

it was strange, you checked the oven. though it was warm, nothing was out of place. then the fridge, nope—jason didn’t stash any leftovers there. once again, catalogued the entire kitchen, suspiciously nothing.

you figured you’ll ask jason about it later, whenever he would come back, but for now, your priority was satiating that grumble in your stomach. as you browsed through your fridge for ingredients after turning on the lights, the cooling air wafted the sweetness away, only for it to return stronger.

and just as quick as the smell of chocolate returned, the lights flickered off.

“what the—“ you turned, and your curiosity was immediately startled by the presence of the missing man. “jesus, jason. where were—“

the only source of light that lit the room came from a soft yellow blur that flickered near jason’s chin. gentle, then not so when he took a step. another waver of light when the draft caught onto the light as he approached you. the light grew bigger, flickered stronger, as if it was connected to your heart and memorized every beat, and the smell of chocolate was pleasantly stringent to your nose.

cake. 

it was a chocolate cake all along, and jason held it with a smile that had been shadowed by the candle. anxiously, you’ve never seen him wore it with a grin before, but it made your heart skip another beat, then two when he confessed.

“happy birthday,” the dark of your orbs refracted the candlelight, yellow and orange light reunited with a wave, several excited waves as if they’ve lost you, and the smoke burning off it cooled the impending wetness of your eyes.

“what— what is this?” your breath hiked, and the candles found it calming, like the sea breeze as it brushed against them—through them. “what are—“

it felt like an eternity since you’ve been celebrated. no, it had been an eternity.

tears slowly rolled down your cheeks as you felt years pass by, heard the cries of a child that received nothing. 

the first year, it was because you were expecting of it. a gift that was never promised, but your hands were bare of nothing. 

the second year, it was hope. something that clung onto because you were promised something. 

the third year. it was denial. it had to be this year, right? you rocked yourself to sleep the night before.

the fourth year. anger. you screamed as if a gift was the only testament in the world to truly display a parent’s love for their child. 

then, the fifth year. acceptance. 

and since, you’ve matured, learned why, and thought it was for the better.

“make a wish,” jason said calmly, breaking you from the spell of your own thoughts.

“what?” you croaked weakly.

years of sheltering your birthday made you clueless, but luckily, jason was here to teach you—to remind you.

“make a wish, then blow.” as much as he wanted to hold you right now, he couldn’t risk his hard work dropping to the floor.

“oh—“ you did as you were told. you wished silently, closing your eyes until another swell of tears were forced to roll out, then blew. 

when jason turned the lights back on, the sight of the cake pulled a laugh out of you. slanted in its position, chocolate smeared all over the cake board, thick icing to cover up the mistakes, you laughed until you wiped tears.

“did you bake this for me?” you snickered, taking the cake and setting it down, because you needed to hug him, embrace him, squeeze him.

“god,” jason laughed, pressed a kiss to your head as he took you in with a strong hug. “if i bought a cake that looked like that, i’d demand two refunds. one for the cake, and one for the happiness they swindled from me.”

“i told you not to, though!” you playfully beat at his chest, the blush on your cheeks pulled a smile wider than you have ever felt, than jason had ever seen. “why?”

“because,” he sighed, then pressed his forehead to yours, holding your damp gaze like it was a prayer. the tension in both your bodies go limp, and he held you closer, worshipping you until he became besotted in your smell, your voice, your gaze, your touch.

“because,” jason repeated, and you held his cheeks, caressing his rough skin.

until even your existence wouldn’t be enough to sober him.

“because i love you.”

nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works. andif you like this story, please reblog and leave a like!

[vagabond-umlaut]

Sojourn In The Sun

Gojo Satoru x Fem!Reader; Arranged Marriage; Childhood Friendship To Complicated Feelings™️; Fluff; Angst; Canon-Compliant; Contains Manga Spoiler; Satoru & Reader Are So Cute, So Honest And So Kind-Of-Happy With Each Other Here– I Love Them!; Silly Jokes Are Their [& My] Coping Mechanism; Takes Place Between JJK 221 & 236.

Oneshot From Series: One Day, Three Autumns

"You. Baked. This. For. Me."

"No, Satoru. A stork flew in through ths kitchen window and dropped this bloody cake on that table."

"But don't they deliver babies or something? Plus, isn't that window a tad too tiny for such a big bird?"

"I guess, the stork must've dropped you on your head while delivering you to your parents, you know?"

A beat passes in response to your remark, before Satoru erupts into a fit of chortles and you shake your head with a huffed chuckle. Getting up from where you were hunched over the countertop, nibbling on an omelette and scrolling through your mobile, Satoru watches your face gleam in fondness in the late morning light, as you amble over to him.

Very messy hair. Ratty old clothes. Sleepy yet shiny eyes— His cheeks hurt from the sheer joy bubbling in his chest at this sight before him.

"Seriously, sweetness? Storks?" he asks, lifting his arm then dropping it to wrap round your shoulders as you reach him and snuggle into his side – only to catch hold of the hem of his huge sweater, and squeeze yourself into it, your tiny fingers clasping round his back as your head emerges at the top and you move to nuzzle into his neck, teeth biting cute little nips on the skin there.

If it was even two months back, Satoru reckons he would have been a hell lot stunned, seeing you give your affections so blatantly– that too at a place outside your shared bed, outside the darkness of the night.

But... It no longer is two months back. It is now. Not only in day, date, time. But also in the irreversibly mutated fashion the earth rotates on its axis everyday in the man's eyes. New experiences. New allies. New absences. New nightmares...— Everything's different from how it was before that chilly October night— Your husband deems it to be not an awful lot strange to see you too like this. The world is not the same as before; to survive, you too must change to adapt to the change, must you not?

Lips brushing your forehead once before dashing away, he asks in a soft yet humorous tone, "Too tired to give a reply, are we now, huh?"

"Not really," you hum, your words punctuated by a yawn you're quick to suppress; you resume, "I know only two birds which are said to be used in sending parcels and stuff. One, messenger pigeon– but they are too small to carry a cake like that. Two, stork– stories do say they were used to deliver babies – so I thought delivering a cake would be a piece of cake for them, heh!" You shoot him a grin, eyes crinkling at the corners into lovely half-moons, "Pretty funny and punny, ain't I?"

"Of course, sweetness. You are all three," Satoru is quick to agree with a nod— happy wife = happy life; plus, it's not like he's lying to you— A shadow of confusion falls on your face— Deciding to deal with it later, for the sake of the question weighing on his mind at the moment, the man repeats his ask from earlier, "You really really baked this for me?"

You return a nod, hints of a smile lurking in the shape of your lips.

"But why?"

Whatever happiness might've beginning to bloom on your features, it withers away– Your husband smacks himself internally for employing such a tone: So weak, so much so that it makes you peer up at him in concern he has only ever seen on you after a particularly bad mission.

So weak, so that it makes him hope you don't think him to be any less than 'The Strongest'— any less than being capable of standing beside you, protecting you, being worthy of you.

A pair of chapped lips plant themselves on his cheek. "Just because I wanted to bake a cake for you, 'Toru!" you explain with a giggle, albeit its subdued quality doesn't go past his eye, as you move a bit away to press a swift kiss on his other cheek; fingers drawing lazy patterns on his scalp and massaging the roots of his hair.

"You've always done too much for me and everyone else– Thought of returning the favour once, although I doubt it can ever match yours... Also, haven't you always wanted to eat a cake baked by yours truly?"

He has.

He so, so has.

Ever since the day you baked some muffins for him in the microwave oven of the school kitchen– him, a grumbling mess thanks to his all-too-familiar migraine and those old geezers– you, another grumbling mess thanks to your all-too-familiar insomnia and those annoying AF exams—

Satoru never imagined he could taste a sweet dish made by you ever again in his life, for the past ten years or so— given how the morning after that night you declared you would never bake again: "uff, that is too fuckin' tiring and boring!" and how every next time he came with a migraine to your door, you pointedly ignored his whining for you to bake him something, choosing to grab the warm and cold compress instead and give him a massage, following the manuals kept in stack-over-stack on your table—

Even during his teenage years, then later as an adult, the sorcerer has always missed your baking, but seeing you care for him in ways much too characteristically 'you'... he decided to pay no mind to such dumb wishes, he knows you'll never fulfill in this lifetime.

Except now you've fulfilled them and your husband doesn't know any response fitting enough to thank your efforts and thoughts through.

Throwing the cake a sideways glance, he brings his focus back to you gazing at him, to the eagerness reflecting in your irises. His lips tilt up into a smile, obeying a mind of their own.

"Blue velvet cake with white frosting... you sure do know how to make me happy, don't you, sweetness?" he muses out loud, carefully noting the warmth creeping up your neck into your cheeks and ears, "But, so much for a thanks... there must be another reason behind this, right?"

Feeling the tiny burst of air hitting him from your quiet exhale, Satoru lets you maneuver him towards the kitchen until he's leaning with his back against the marble island and you're nestling even closer to him.

A palm glides cautiously over the planes of his back.

Almost as if the man in front of you is a glass figurine–

Almost as if you're fine with him being a glass figurine.

So easy to read.

So easy to hurt.

So easy to care for with the gentlest of touches and softest of smiles, the look in your eyes tells every one of his six eyes– the innumerable chips and cracks in his very essence be damned—

You poke his cheek, a knowing twitch in your lips.

"You rarely ever cuddled me in bed before, yet now, every single night and day, I find you squeezing me with those arms and legs of yours..." Satoru's eyes widen. Your lips part in a fondly teasing grin. "Think why – really why– you hug me for warmth and don't hog the blankets; and you'll have your answer, 'Toru."

Birds shriek outside. Your mobile beeps thrice. Your omelette goes as frozen as poor Uranus on the countertop beside.

For the second time this cold day, the two of you break into laughter.

"And you'll have your answer, 'Toru!?!?" Satoru mimics you except in a soprano-esque shrill voice. "Who the fuck do you think we are, huh? A pair of lovers in some Shakespeare-y play, baring our feelings to each other in the soft glow of the winter sun, or some stupid shit like that?"

Another chuckle breaks free from your chest at his words; the grin on his face widening, he watches you take a long breath then say, "Nope nope nope! The both of us are way too uncivilised to play any role like in Shakespeare's plays — but Satoru~" you drawl your vowels out; his heart beats a little faster in his chest– "I can never be as unrefined as you, going as far as to keep your wife waiting, while you ask question after question– and not eat the cake and praise it, like a good spouse should, you know?"

"Oh, is it so?" The man inquires, brow raised, before warping with you in his arms to where the cake's kept, and cutting a big chunk with the knife kept, gobbles it all up in one go.

The tilt of your lips betrays the disapproving click your tongue makes.

A very content hum escapes Satoru. "Your baking's something out of this world–no, galaxy, sweetness. I hope you know–"

He stills, focus stolen by the letters and number a bit far on the table–

Satoru's gaze snaps back to you, only to find the same smile on your face– so simple, so devious– complicated and thwarted by the small expressive tremor of your lips; your gaze moving away from him to a calendar on your left and his right, the very same which stopped him—

Grasping your chin in his frosting-covered fingers, he drags your gaze back to himself, tutting, "You aren't any better than me, wifey. You too lack the same manners and etiquettes I do— So, now— c'mon, c'mon, c'mon–" he says, not unlike a broken record, playing the same section of music until he makes you cave in from the annoyance alone, "Wish your darling husband 'Happy Birthday 'Toru!!', give him a big birthday smooch, and be the courteous wife, you aren't really, but think you're— Now, go ahead, go ahead, go–"

"No."

"No?" Satoru echoes, holding back a weary chuckle. Or sigh. The man doesn't know which. You nod with that same stubborn determination of yours, he has happened to love-hate-tolerate over the years. "Yeah. No. I don't wanna. Wishing you can only solidify the fact that today is December 7th–"

"I think, the clock striking twelve few hours back solidified it–"

"Which will go on to cement the fact we're only 17 days away–"

"I don't think the fact needs any cementing. It's cast in stone–"

"Is there no way we can be happy, Satoru?"

Your question startles him into a momentary stun – not 'cause of the solemnity packed into every word of it – but because it serves as the mirror image to the question them cursed voices in his brain ask him in the warmth of the day, in the chill of the night, when he finds Yuuji sitting by himself with no spiky black hair nor bright orange hair next to him; when he catches the ashtray on Shoko's table filled with way too many cigarette stubs; when he wakes up to see you sitting in the dimly lit storeroom, a faded photograph or a childish drawing in your hand; when he looks at the mirror and finds the reason behind every pain his cherished ones have suffered, staring right back at him—

"There is," Satoru says, willing his mind to shut up for once, to let him say what he wants to say for once– the clock is ticking a bit too fast–

"Don't think of today as anything more than that it's December 7. Not how many days it's been since Halloween. Not how many days it'll be before it's Christmas Eve. Just focus on the fact it's my birthday, and everything will seem a hell lot better, even if it's only for a short time."

You peer at him attentively, before narrowing your eyes a bit. "Never took you as the kind to ignore reality, y'know?"

Your husband cracks an amused grin. "Still, standing in the middle of a warzone and actively ignoring it is cooler than running away from it, isn't it?"

"Cooler and dumber," you correct with a teasing grin and a waggle of your finger– however, before he can gather any retort to your remark, he finds himself being pulled down by his collar, his lips colliding with your waiting ones— the ensuing kiss a little sweet, a little spicy, a little shy, a little hungry; but overall, very, very addicting. Satoru thinks you can never give him kisses enough to satiate him, even for a tiny while.

He is always going to stay this ravenous, this yearning for you. In this lifetime and every other that follows. He can't ever get enough of you.

A tiny pop! reverberates in the bubble round you two, as your mouth gently separates from his, though never strays anywhere far, resting only few millimetres away. Eyes drifting to his swollen lips for a beat, Satoru watches you look at him again, cheeks heated and stretched in a smile.

"Happy birthday, Satoru," you whisper, "Many, many happy returns of the day."

"Thanks," the man mumbles, running a careful thumb back-and-forth over your bottom lip– before something clicks to life in his mind. Your husband registers a slow smirk form on his face. "But I guess it'll be a happier birthday if ya promise to bake me a cake every now and then. What do you think, sweetness?"

"Nah!" your reply arrives, as if it's a reflex response and not one which requires some thinking, "Baking's too fuckin' tiring and boring– But..." you trail off for a beat, the nonchalance on your face morphing into a tenderness– You resume, "Why don't you try and find out by yourself if I will ever decide to bake a cake for you, every now and then, yeah?"

The weight of your words lingers in the gap in between for a second.

Accepting the weight with an eager grin, Satoru closes the gap, him inclining forwards to rest his forehead on yours.

"Sounds like a challenge, sweetness. Good thing, I'm more than ready to try my best to meet it."

I do not own the characters used. Divider is by @cafekitsune. Please do not plagiarize or translate or repost this. Hope you enjoyed reading this! 😊

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Masterlist

[vampireimiko]

Heyy!!! Could you write about earth 42 miles having a lil make out session with a cheerleader gf?? I do cheer and I’m so down bad for miles 🥰.

nights like these

warnings, not proofread but other than that none !!

note, this is kinda rushed because i ended up changing my mind about the plot like 3 times (all just to end up going with my original idea...) 😭‼️ also i don't want anybody above 17 interacting with this or trust you will be dealt with 🧐

Today was such a good day for you. At cheer practice you finally perfected a move you'd been practicing for about two weeks now. Miles picked you up from cheer practice and took you out to celebrate your accomplishment. After he insisted you two hang out at his place. It's not like you were gonna decline his request, you were always happy to spend time with your man.

Now its late at night. The cold crisp breeze from outside flowed through the air. Soft rnb music filled the background of the dimly lit room as you and Miles laid on his bed. More specifically, you were laying in between his legs while you scrolled on your phone and while Miles looked down at you and played in your hair.

You noticed his gaze and asked, "Whatchu staring at me for?" You giggle, being flustered at the small gesture.

"You're pretty." Miles shrugged. "Sit up for me real quick, ma."

With that being said, you sit up and he grabs you by the waist, pulling you closer to him. You two stare into each other's eyes for a while and the next thing you know, your lips are moving in sync with one another. A soft groan would come from you or Miles occasionally.

After a moment, you and Miles pulled away, needing to catch your breath. You two really had no idea how much time had passed but it didn't matter.

You've always wanted somebody you could spend time with whether it be quiet or chaotic, Miles was that exact person for you. When you're together, it doesn't matter what your doing, just being in each other's presence calms the both of you down.

"Whew.." you started off with a giddy smile on your face, "That was.."

"Amazing." Miles finished for you, with his voice a bit raspy. You giggled and nodded, unable to contain the smile that danced across your face as you continued to gaze into his mesmerizing brown eyes.

"I never really got how people could kiss for so long, but now? I totally understand." you admitted, your voice filled with a mix of wonder and newfound understanding.

Miles chuckled softly, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on the small of your back. "I guess some connections are just meant to be explored and cherished, no matter how long they last."

As you snuggled closer to him, his warm presence enveloping you, you marveled at the depth of the bond you had formed. It was more than just physical attraction; it was a profound connection that extended beyond the stolen moments and lingering kisses.

In that quiet, intimate space, you both shared a comfortable silence, basking in the afterglow of your affectionate exchange. It was in these stolen moments that you realized how fortunate you were to have found someone who not only stirred your heart but also brought a sense of peace and contentment into your life.

𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 🔛🔝 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐟 ... (𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋!) 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐦 (𝐢𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥) 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 !!

𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

[marymary-diva17]

Hili I have a request! Ok it's kinda long cause it's all a dream I had

Jake sully × reader

Ok let's say reader and jake were married before everything (when he was still human) and she got knocked up by him and lates say like in the movie jake falls for neytiri and reader finds out and during the war reader gets injured and they take her to eywa, eywa saves her baby but it's transformed to a Navi baby (let's say it's neteyam) while reader is stuck still being human so k Jake and neytiri takes care of the kid it's angsty especially with neteyams death

Broken vows

Jake x reader + son neteyam/ sully kids/ neytiri

sure I can that for you but there might be changes here and there.

avatar masterlist

Never in your wildest dreams did you think you will be on the planet of pandora, you are a scientist on earth and had spent most of your life studying about pandora. Now you were getting the chance to see the planet and the navi with your husband Jake hoping to start a life with him and having new adventures. You and Jake had a wonderful marriage and you thought you will always have a life with him, that was until he had fallen in love with neytiri leaving you in his past. Soon change came to you life as you had become pregnant and lost your avatar, your son had been saved and born. Jake and neytiri had mostly raised him but you were still his mama no matter what anyone said to him or about you. Life now on pandora had changed for everyone and it seems like there was no going back, as change has come for everyone.

y/n " ummm" you had gotten out from bed and started getting ready for the day, you navi body was no longer of use for you as it was badly damages during the accident that nearly killed you. So you were now human and your relationship with Jake was rocky at the moment, he still loves and cares about you but had become distance over the years.

Norm " heading out y/n"

y/n " yes I'm"

Norm " say hello to the children for me"

y/n " I will" you soon left the human base to visit the clan and see the children, you are half way there when you saw three blue navi kids running towards you.

????? " mama" tuk the youngest of the bunch had reached you first and hugged you.

y/n " hey sweetie"

lo'ak " hey mum"

y/n " hey buddy"

kiri " hey mum"

y/n " hey honey" Jake and neytiri had two more kids together and they were lo'ak and tuk. Kiri was born form grace avatar and taken in by them, you had helped take care of the kids over the years.

y/n " how are my children"

tuk " we are well mama we came to see you today we wanted to spend the day with you"

y/n " well I'm happy you all came here to see as I was coming to the village"

lo'ak " we tried to get neteyam to come but something came up for him between dad and mom"

y/n " oh I undertand kiddo well come one let head to the village" neteyam is your son but like your other children Jake and neytiri, were able to be with them more verse you. This had broken you heart as you wish to be there for all your kids.

Jake " oh y/n you are here today"

y/n " yes I'm here today I came to see the children and everyone, if it not a good time I can leave"

Jake " no stay I'm sorry that was rude of me I'm happy you are here"

y/n " I and the others are doing our best but there might be a low chance I get to use it again"

Jake " don't worry my love everything will be fine I know it"

y/n "so where neytiri and our son are right now"

Jake " well neytiri and I were speaking with him early I'm guessing the children told you, they went off to their ikrans to care for them"

y/n " thank you I will go see them"

Jake " I can show you the way"

y/n " Jake I know the way and if you want time alone with me you can ask" you smirk toward Jake making him smile and laugh and bit he soon, took the other kids and walked off. You soon went to find neytiri and neteyam and it was not the hard.

y/n " I swear I need my avatar body back climbing this as human is fun and dangerous"

neteyam " mama you are here" neteyam and walked towards you and soon help you onto the top branch, as she smiled towards you he was so happy to see you.

y/n " hello my boy how are you doing"

neteyam " I'm doing well mama"

neteytiri " hello y/n"

y/n " hello neytiri how are you doing"

neytiri " ma teyam I will leave you to speak with y/n"

neytiri " yes mom" soon neytiri left you were trying to have a good relationship with neytiri but it seems like she didn't, like you as she saw you outsider. The both of you have a relationship with Jake and it seems like neytiri didn't like the idea of you being with her husband as well.

neteyam " I think she coming around mama"

y/n " don't worry about me and neytiri my boy that is something, we have to handle ourselves"

neteyam " yes mama hey will you love to come flying with me"

y/n " sure honey" neteyam smiled as he had taken you to his ikran helped you on and soon got on as well, the mother and son took taking off into the sky. The two of you had a very close relationship neteyam always made time for you and you always made them for him. You will do anything to protect you son as a mother that is your duty.

Sometime later

Jake " y/n we are leaving"

y/n " leaving for how long"

Jake " I don't know the clan has to leave the rad found us and they have these recoms"

y/n " ....."

Jake " we are all leaving everyone"

y/n " what about us here"

Jake " you cant come yet none of you neytiri and mo'at don think it safe"

y/n " so you are taking my son and the kids away from their home and the family they have"

Jake " they will have me and neytiri they will be okay"

y/n " he my son Jake my son as you are my husband"

Jake " I was your husband times have changed y/n you need to move on, as I have moved on with neytiri we will take care of him"

y/n " no Jake ...."

Jake " yes as the boy father he will be coming with me I knew we shouldn't of done this now look where we are... the kids are all attract to you they call you mama when you are aren't their mama"

y/n " I don't care what they call me Jake they feel like they are my kids"

Jake " well If you want to be a good mom and wife let me and neteyam go we need to live our own lives, if you are there or not"

y/n " Jake you don't mean that"

Jake " yes I kinda of do I wish that times you went back to earth or gave up clam of neteyam to make all our lives better"

y/n " if he goes with will you give me update on him and the kids"

Jake " yes"

y/n " then he can go he wont go unless he knows I approve" Jake looked at you and saw you were about to cry, neytiri was watching from few feet.

y/n " neytiri promise me you will keep my son alive and well, as you are his mom as well"

neytiri " yes"

y/n " then I hope you all have safe journey there bye" you soon tuned away from Jake he waned to go after you and comfort you, but he felt like he was getting looks from everyone else.

neteyam " mama are you sure you want me to go"

y/n " yes baby I need to know if you and your sibling are safe"

neteyam " then who will be here to keep you company and make sure you are safe"

y/n " I have your uncles here and all my friends we will keep each other safe"

neteyam " are you sure I wont leave you here if you wish"

y/n " go my son and have all new adventures and tell me everything once we each other again"

neteyam " I love you mama"

y/n " I love you to baby now go" neteyamm had hugged you one last time, he seems like he didn’t wish to let you go. He soon had to let you go and leave with everyone else all the other kids were crying saying goodbye to you. You will get to speak with the kids on days that were good and getting updates from Jake. Until one day your world came crumbling down.

norm “ y/n it kiri" you soon looked at norm he had explained everything you packed everything you need and left with max and norm, heading toward the metkayian village. The metkayian were shocked to see humans and they were so shocked, to see you new medicine so well. You were able to awake up kiri and she was happy to see you all the kids.

y/n " ......." you were given a permission to stay which made the kids happy, you were getting use to your new life here. The kdis were having you meet their new friends and you had made new relationships here, making Jake and neytiri a bit jealous on how many adults were flirting or being close with you.

lo'ak " mama mama we need you" a battle had started between the navi and RDA you were attending to the injured, when lo'ak came running towards you.

y/n " what the matter"

rotxo " neteyam been shot by one of the recoms we need you" panic had set in as you heard one of your kids are in dangers.

y/n "lo'ak grab my kit and take me to your brother" lo'ak had grabbed your kit and took you to neteyam who was laying down with his sibling and friends near him.

neteyam " mama"

y/n " I'm here baby I'm here"

????? " kids" you were trying to save neteyam life as she was struggling to breath as Jake and neytiri came, they were trying to help as well.

y/n " it going to be okay baby"

neytiri " what happened"

tsireya " he was shot by one of the demons"

neteyam " mama"

y/n " yes my son I'm here"

neteyam " dad"

Jake " I'm here son I'm here"

neteyam " mom"

neytiri " hush my boy" neteyam had grabbed onto your hand as you held it kiri soon started helping with, trying to keep neteyam alive. The was heart monitor tracking neteyam heart beat it was not good.

neteyam " mama I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry"

y/n " no baby there nothing to be sorry about"

neteyam " mama I ... I ....." neteyam soon stopped moving and breathing soon the heart monitor stopped as well.

y/n " no neteyam please no not my baby boy ... please dont leave like the please no ...." you started wailing and crying holding onto your son as Jake and neytiri were trying to comfort you. the kids had stated breaking down as well.

y/n " no please no please no why him why him" it seems like everything had become silent around you and it felt like the world stopped. Soon there was beeping sound coming from the heart monitor that got you attention.

tuk " mama what happing"

y/n " he still alive ... we need to get him to the hut right now call norm now"

Jake " y/n"

y/n " I said now Jake" Jake had nodded his head and called Jake, the boys helped your carry neteyam body. as he was rush to the hut where norm and max are waiting. You were waiting outsider the tent with the kids as norm, max, and moat try to help neteyam. The kids were comforting you.

y/n " please great mother hear my prays I will do anything for keep my son alive, so please don't take him away from me" soon moat and max came out of the tent.

neytiri " mother"

mo'at " the boy will live but he will have a scar for the rest of his life"

y/n " thank you"

mo'at " you are good mother you help us save him by using your medical ways"

max " it going to be okay y/n neteyam will be fine" the kids soon hugged you and you hugged them back, night had fallen and the kids were taken home by mo'at to rest. spider was being take care of by max and norm who went into the human small base to find him a place to sleep. as you stayed with neteyam taking care of him as Jake and neytiri were still there.

Jake " y/n"

y/n " ........."

Jake " y/n please say something you haven't looked or even spoke to us"

neytiri " say something please"

y/n " just stop please just stop"

Jake " stop what"

y/n " stop acing like you care about me as you never did, I have missed out so much of my son life because of you two ... Jake you were married but then you left and said nothing ... you neytiri treat me horrible when I have been noting but nice towards you and the kids I treat them as my own"

Jake " we are still married"

y/n " oh are you because last time I seen it you haven't treated me like a wife or a friend"

Jake "I'm sorry"

neytiri "I'm sorry as well I should've of been nicer"

????? " mama" you soon looked down to see neteyam was waking up slowly.

y/n " hey baby"

neteyam " hey mama..."

y/n " no don't move so much you are hurt and need time to heal"

neteyam " yes mama"

Jake " son how are you feeling"

neteyam " good"

neytiri " we are so happy you are okay my son we were worried" neteyam nodded his head but gave his dad and mom a look.

y/n " you should eat something I made your favorites soup you can have that and soon rest"

neteyam " what about everyone else are they fine"

y/n " everyone is fine you can see your sibling in the morning or they might come here to sleep, spider in the small base over there so are uncle norm and max"

neteyam " what about you"

y/n " I will be here as well my boy " you gave neteyam something eat he was speaking with spider, as you were outside with Jake and neytiri.

y/n " started today or tomorrow's things are changing for this family, I'm not being pushed out my son or his sibling lives again by the two of you anymore"

Jake " y/n I'm sorry we still care for you and love you "

y/n " we can deal with what going on between us later on as neteyam needs someone to comfort him right now, as he has bene through enough today"

neytiri " y/n I'm sorry for how I been ...."

y/n " we can talk more about what our lives will be like in the future, I think it best if we all head home for the night and get some rest neteyam will be staying with me until he better"

Jake " please y/n I ...."

y/n " here Jake I should of give this back to you many years ago" you soon removed the necklace that had your wedding ring on it, it was the ring Jake had saved up so much mondoe for to buy for you and give you.

y/n " you are no longer my husband you haven't been my husband in many years, you no longer give me that look of love you once had for me .... neytiri should have it as she the one you love the most and care for about in the end" you soon place the necklace in Jake hands as he looked at you with heartbreak.

Jake " no take it y/n it belongs to you it symbolizes what we have"

y/n " what we had Jake it no longer there goodnight you two" you soon started walking back to the tent, Jake and neytiri watched you walk awya from them not look back like you use to and smile at them. You had entered the tent to see neteyam and spider talking, they seem to so happy to see you. The other sully kids and tonowari children had came to spend the night with neteyam and spider, you had given them permission. That night you felt happy that your son was alive and well, but also felt some happiness that you will be starting a new life with the ones you love from here on now.

[jesterwriting]

characters: vampire!shanks x gn!human!reader x vampire!mihawk

contents: flirting, reader is old enough to have wrinkles, seemingly unrequited love, communication issues, an entire decade of pining, shanks sleeps around a lot, also spreading my bisexual shanks agenda, reader is oblivious and i mean oblivious, jealous shanks, meddling mihawk, you could make the case that shanks is an a jerk and id agree, its not on purpose hes just an idiot

word count: 3.4k words

note: happy late halloween!! i meant to finish this yesterday, but i was so exhausted after my trip to the amusement park, i needed a day to recover. plus, this was a lot to write. im excited it's finally done though, ive been sitting on this for a while now :33 i hope all who read enjoy this. theres some things left unsaid by the end of this, i do wanna do a part two though hehe

playlist: lust for a vampyr - i monster

When the sun rose, it was time for the humans of Red-Haired Shanks’ crew to work.

It was a simple arrangement, one that was built on necessity rather than any need for control. As the majority of the ship were unable to step into the sun, Captain Shanks included, human familiars were needed to keep things running in tip-top shape during the day. The idea was: if you work for Shanks for a few years, or prove your worth, in time, you would be turned. Eternal life was quite the sell, especially if it meant centuries of adventure under the Red-Haired Pirate’s jolly roger. It drew countless humans to a life of piracy.

That wasn’t what enticed you, though.

You were happy as a human. The idea of drinking blood and never feeling the warmth of the sun did not appeal to you. What drew you in was the natural charisma of your captain. His voice, his presence, his charm, you fell victim to it all. After one night at a bar together, you knew you would follow him to the ends of the earth, all he needed to do was ask.

And ask, he did.

You knew enough about vampires to know it was easy to fall under their spell. Equipped with an uncanny knack for mind control and manipulation, all it took was a glimmer in their eyes before you were putty in their hand. You had seen it happen before. A single word to a marine back in the East Blue had them leaving in a daze. You recognized that this power could explain your willingness to leave everything behind.

The truth was you trusted Shanks. You never regretted your choice, not for a second. Besides, what use was a captain you second-guessed?

A part of you believed that you were made for him, crafted from the same clay that he was. A bigger part of you wondered how you could ever fall in love with such an idiot. Maybe it was the thrill of wanting someone you could never have, or maybe the attention he gave you left you pliant. Either way, you knew where you belonged. You’d been in his crew for a decade now, following him from the East Blue to the New World, and you had no intention of leaving it any time soon.

Not even as you dragged Shanks’ intoxicated ass in from the deck and to his room before the sun rose.

He was more muscle than man, way too heavy for you to carry so you settled on linking your arms under his armpits and dragging him as fast as you could. Shanks groaned, his stomach surely churning under the weight of the grog and blood he’d consumed throughout the night. You had always found the combination to sound unappetizing, you wondered how Shanks could stand it every night. Then again, he did have a more “refined” palate.

The first pale rays of the sun crested the horizon right as you shut the door to the captain’s quarters. Now all you had to do was dump him in his bed and you’d be free from him for the rest of the day. Your heart panged at the thought. Gently so as not to wake up, you brushed a strand of hair from his forehead.

Shanks’ lips twitched, eyes squeezing enough for you to yank your hand back as if he burned you.

“You’re awake.” You tried to keep the indignation from your voice to no avail.

He pursed his lips to keep from smiling. “If I say no, will you still help me to bed?”

With a scowl, you dropped him in a heap on the floor, ignoring how his laughter caused a hoard of butterflies to erupt in your chest. Embarrassment at being caught warred with the natural affection you held for your captain. It left you dizzy.

The room was pitch black. Even with your eyes adjusted, it was hard to see anything that wasn’t in front of your face. You listened to your captain shuffle to his feet, still unsteady from his earlier drink. Sighing, you offered him your arm. His grip on you was firm, but not rough as he hauled himself upward, still chuckling under his breath. It was easy to forget how he could break your bones with a squeeze of his fist. Shanks could rip you apart like tissue paper if he wanted.

His hand was freezing, even through your shirt. In the dim light, you could barely see the glint of Shanks’ fangs as they poked from between his lips. You couldn’t help but shiver. If Shanks noticed it, he didn’t say anything leaning against your side as you led him to the mattress.

“You’re lucky I like you, captain.”

Shanks ignored you with a hum and buried his nose against your neck. It felt like there was an ice placed directly against your sensitive skin. You swallowed thickly as he took in a deep inhale, his hand curled in your hair, pulling you closer.

“Let me turn you. It’s been too long.”

You rolled your eyes and patted his stubble ridden chin. Shanks leaned into your touch ever so slightly. This was your least favorite conversation, one only brought up when he was drunk these days.

Two years after you joined, Shanks had been incessant. You’d proven yourself time and time again, it was time for you to be given the “gift.” The first time you turned him down, his jaw dropped and you wondered if anyone had ever denied him before. Shanks must have assumed you were shy, offering to drink from your wrist instead of your neck. As time passed, his requests tapered off. Sometimes, though, he would trace your wrinkles, something akin to sadness in his eyes. You tried not to think too hard about those moments; the one’s where you could delude yourself into thinking you were more than a friend.

Tonight was the first night in a long time that Shanks hadn’t taken someone to bed with him. While you didn’t judge him for being promiscuous, it reminded you of where you stood. He could have you anytime he wanted, all he had to do was chase you. You supposed you simply weren’t worth the chase.

“If you want to feed off me, I’ll donate some blood later. For now, bed,” You said, covering up your grown captain with a blanket like he was a child.

“You’re getting old,” Shanks slurred.

You shrugged. “It happens to the best of us.”

After a final pat on his cheek, your captain passed out, drool spilling from his lips. It was easier to ignore his offers when he slept. The more you aged, the more your body ached.

An eternity of pining after a man who would never love you sounded like torture.

—

Once night fell, the ship came to life.

Lights lit up the night, and the smell of booze filled the air as music played. You didn’t know if it was the vampirism or the piracy, but Shanks’ nighttime crew was a rowdy bunch, always yelling, always drinking, always singing, always <i>something<i>. Sure, the human crew were boisterous in their own way, however, they were completely outshone once the moon rose and stars blanketed the velvet sky.

With a yawn, you stretched your aching arms over your head, and waited for the inevitable.

A familiar pair of footsteps approached “Are you headed for bed soon?”

You turned to see your captain staring down at you with a smile, mug filled to the brim with blood. When you patted the spot next to you, Shanks sat down, legs crossed. The red liquid sloshed in his cup, some dribbling down the side. It smelled fresh, likely from today’s drive.

“Is that mine?”

He smirked and took a sip, rolling it around in his mouth as if it was a fancy brew. “What can I say? You’re the most delicious human on the ship.” Shanks’ eyes glimmered before he prodded you on the side. You shrank back with a giggle. “I could just eat you up.”

“Then who would drag you inside when the sun’s coming up.”

Shanks’ eyes softened slightly, his eyes reflecting the moon's rays enough to make them glow. “That is true. Where would I be without you?”

“A pile of ash in the middle of the deck,” You laughed.

“Then where would you be without your beloved captain?”

Knocking your shoulder against Shanks’, you stood with your hands on your hips, “Don’t get too big for your britches. When did I ever say you were beloved?”

Before Shanks could respond, the call for land rang out. You squinted your eyes to see the bundle of lights approaching on the horizon. If you could see it from here, it was sure to be a good sized town, hopefully primed to be overrun by the undead for the night. Or two. Or several. It all depended on how much supplies were needed.

Despite the promise of excitement, your heart sank. You knew what a new island meant. Shanks would party it up in a pub, flirt with people who weren’t you, and inevitably, bring someone to bed. It was a tale as old as time. You would nurse your heartbreak at the bar while your captain drank his worries away, in blood or beer, it depended on if there were any consenting humans around.

Shanks tugged on your arm in an attempt to get you to sit back down, a playful glint in his eyes. “Come drink with me once we land. You always go off by yourself, you don’t have to be so lonely.”

Sit with Shanks so he can see your heart break in real time? You’d rather eat glass. With a laugh, you shook yourself free, though you sat back down next to him, taking care to leave some space between the two of you.

“Nah, I don’t think so. I like my alone time,” You replied.

He chuckled, “And I think you’re lying.”

“What do you know about me, captain?”

Shanks turned to meet your gaze, head tilted to the side and an eyebrow raised. “More than you think.”

It was the cold night air that made you shiver. Nothing more.

“Whatever, you say.” You averted your eyes, unable to stand his stupid grin for much longer. Sharp canines poked from between his lips and you wondered how it would feel to have the graze against your skin. Your face felt hot.

As the ship approached the island, you soaked up Shanks’ presence like a sponge. He was physically cold, but his jokes made you laugh and his smile made you warm. You would only have his attention for a short while before it was turned to some pretty young thing that you could never live up to, it was better to enjoy it while you could.

For now, though, you would take comfort in the fact that no matter who went home with him tonight, it’d be you Shanks spends the early hours with.

—

Three hours later, you wished you were back on the ship.

There you were, as you always seemed to be, hunched over your drink, and glaring daggers at the far wall. Behind you, Shanks had his good arm around a man with a woman leaning against his other shoulder. He was laughing, mouth stained red to match the bite mark on the woman’s collarbone. She looked a little pale, but no worse for wear. Shanks was always careful never to take too much.

Not that you would know. Your worst fear, on the off chance he ever fed off you directly, was that you would make an embarrassing noise. A whine, or god forbid a moan. That would be something you would never live down. Shanks would tease you to hell and back.

“Is this seat taken?” An unknown voice, smooth like butter, asked.

You didn’t bother to turn. “Knock yourself out.”

You heard the stool squeak as it was pulled out. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a dark shape settle next to you. A pale, almost dainty hand cradled a wine glass full of rich, red fluid. You shook slightly when a pair of golden eyes landed on you, realizing who had settled himself next to you.

While you knew of Mihawk, though you never met him personally. He was an old rival (friend?) of Shanks’ who visited the crew every so often. Mihawk never stuck around too long. You figured the captain got to be too much for him to handle, not that you could blame Mihawk for his frustration. As much as you loved the captain, Shanks was especially annoying sometimes.

A booming laugh from behind you made your eye twitch as Shanks pulled the man closer against his side.

Like right now.

“There’s no need to glare. I don’t believe your drink is going anywhere. ”

Your head shot up, blinking a few times at the swordsman. “You never know, odder things have happened.”

Like your captain, he was a vampire. If you didn’t know that before, you sure as hell knew that now. Mihawk was almost ethereal in his beauty, with piercing golden eyes and alabaster skin that seemed to glow in the dim light. His fangs were longer than your captain’s. Where Shanks could almost pass for a human, you knew from a glance what Mihawk was. There was no mistaking it. He was a vampire in peak form and you had his full attention.

You watched Mihawk cock his head to the side, sizing you up. “Odder than a walking mug?”

“We are sitting in a bar full of vampire pirates. My mug could start flying and I wouldn’t blink an eye.”

His lips twitched upwards into an almost imperceptible smile. “What is truly odd is why a beautiful creature such as yourself is sitting all alone. Don’t you know there are predators about?”

“I’m with Shanks.” You didn’t have to say anything more than that. Both of you knew no one would dare feed from a human that belonged to Red-Haired Shanks.

“Are you now? It’s a shame it took me so long to make your acquaintance.”

Narrowing your eyes, you studied Mihawk while he watched you in return. Though your gaze was intense, your smile was easy. You were enjoying the banter. “That’s funny, because I know you know who I am. I’ve been on Shanks’ crew for over a decade now, and I wouldn’t have escaped your notice for so long.”

Mihawk’s expression shifted to what could only be described as pleased. “You’d be right. Shanks talks about you <i>incessantly<i>. Now I see why.”

You couldn’t help but flush. It hadn’t processed that Mihawk took your hand in his until his lips pressed against the back of it. That only served to make your face burn hotter.

Before you could respond, Mihawk’s lips twitched into a smirk. “That expression on you is enchanting.”

“A-Are you flirting with me,” You stammered. It had been a long time since someone had shown interest in you. Sure, people were friendly, but genuine flirtation was hard to come by. To have someone as beautiful as Mihawk giving you attention made your head spin.

He gave you a slight smirk, muttering into his skin, “Now I see your captain isn’t the only one at fault here.”

There was a sharp prickling sensation on the back of your neck. Mihawk must have felt it too because his eyebrow twitched. Whatever you expected when you turned, it wasn’t Shanks glaring daggers at the man in front of you, his pupils barely visible slits. He looked dangerously mad.

Mihawk gently turned your hand over to reveal the inside of your wrist. Right on your pulse point, he took a deep inhale, savoring you as if you were a fine wine. “Ignore him. He’s a child who's had his favorite toy taken away.”

“Y/N is not my toy.” Before you could blink, your back was pressed against Shanks’ chest. His arm wrapped around your shoulders, holding you against him as Mihawk’s fingers tightened around your wrist. Shanks pressed his nose in your hair, lips against your ear. “Is he bothering you? Say the word and he leaves.”

“No, no not at all. We were just talking.”

Shanks squeezed you against him. “He was looking at you like you were a meal.”

“Hilarious coming from the captain who forbade his crew from drinking their blood,” Mihawk said. “I always knew you didn’t like to share your food, Red-Hair, but this is ridiculous.”

“Wait, were you flirting or were you hungry,” You asked, trying to keep the disappointment from your voice. Both men noticed, Mihawk responding with amusement and Shanks by tightening his grip on your shoulders.

“Why couldn’t it have been both?”

A low growl rumbled in Shanks’ chest. “You are not eating my crewmate.”

Mihawk ignored him, piercing your eyes with his own. “Originally, I introduced myself with the intention to meddle, but you have captivated me, Y/N.” His thumb rubbed cool circles around your pulse. “What do you have to say about that? Surely, you can take responsibility.”

“Um.” Stuck between two gorgeous men, one audibly snarling at the other, you couldn’t begin to reign in your thoughts. “That’s very sweet.”

Shanks must have felt you trembling and assumed it was from fear. His hold on you loosened, hand rubbing soothingly against your upper arm.

“It’s not sweet, it’s creepy,” He argued. “You’re scaring them.”

“Actually, he’s been very kind.” You leaned your head back to look at his face in time to see Shanks’ eyebrows jump in surprise.

Mihawk cocked his head to the side. “Unlike you, Red-Hair. How many times have you left this adorable little human by the wayside to take others to your bed.”

“They don’t care about that, we have our thing.” Shanks looked at you, expectant. “Right?”

Your brow furrowed. “What ‘thing?’”

“Our thing,” Shanks insisted. “Our cat and mouse. I chase, you push me away, I keep chasing. It’s been going on for years.”

Flipping around to face him, you fought to keep your jaw off the floor. “Shanks, are you telling me that you think we have had a ‘cat and mouse’ romance brewing for the better part of a decade?”

“Are you telling me you don’t know?”

“You sleep around all the time, but you never make any advances towards me! How am I supposed to know you’re interested in me when you flirt with anything that has a pulse?” You hung your head and sighed. “I’ve spent all this time pining over an unrequited love that isn’t even unrequited.”

“I always thought you weren’t ready for that step, I was waiting for you to initiate.” Shanks looked more flustered than you’d ever seen him. It was strange to see your normally confident captain flounder. “I can be patient when I want.” He paused for a moment, swallowing hard. “I had no idea that was how you felt. I’m sorry.”

Mihawk interrupted by slipping around you to stand beside Shanks. “As amusing as this is, I have a proposition for Y/N.”

You ignored Shanks’ pout and turned your attention to Mihawk. “And that is?”

“Allow me to take you on a date.”

Shanks butt in before you could respond. “Let me take you on a date. I want to make it up to you and I have ten years to make up for.”

You had two options before you. Your long time love, who idiotically strung you along with his poor communication skills, or the handsome vampire you met at the bar who may or may not eat you. You were a lowly human in the face of a supernatural choice. At times, you were sure you would wake up back at the ship, the entire night having been a dream.

Truthfully, it wasn’t hard to make your decision, you already knew what you wanted.

With a smile, you said, “Why don’t you both take me out tomorrow night?”

The two men shared a glance, the spark of old rivalry flashing across their faces before they gave you their answer. Shanks with a one-armed hug, and Mihawk with a final kiss to the back of your hand.

“It’s a date.”

[oogaboogasphincter]

a bowlful of joel-y

summary: he was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot / and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; / a bundle of toys he had flung on his back, / and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack / his eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry! / his cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! / he had a broad face and a little round belly / that shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly || you never would have guessed who you find stumbling around jackson dressed up as santa claus on christmas eve night, leaving presents for all the kids in town. you take on the role of santa's elf and help him deliver his toys - and land yourself on his nice list just in time for christmas morning.

word count/warnings: 4.8k+ words EXPLICIT (18+ ONLY) MDNI! // reader has insomnia, a pinch of grumpy joel but he’s mostly jolly (at least by his standards), one mention of alcohol/drunkenness, christmas/holiday fluff, a conversation about loss and grief around the holidays (joel talks about sarah), description of panic attacks + healing❤️‍🩹, food and eating (milk+cookies ofc), unprotected piv sex (do as i say not as i write), jackson era!joel, friends to lovers teehee

a/n: merry christmas @lisadean! i'm so so sorry this is three days late, i got a head cold just as i was putting my finishing touches on this and i didn't want to post it without a final read-through :( i hope you enjoy your secret santa gift as much as i did writing it! 🤭🎁 i want to thank all my besties at @pedrostories for organizing this event, it's what introduced me to the blog and i'm so excited and honored to be participating in it both as a writer and moderator this year 💗 i wish all my readers a very happy holidays!! (pls let me know who made the beautiful gif above, i found it on pinterest w no credit ☹️)

It’s Christmas Eve and you can’t sleep.

No matter how hard you try, your shuttered eyes can’t keep.

You toss and turn with increasing agitation,

Thoughts of going downstairs gnawing with temptation.

It’d just be a little peek, you reason,

Of the freshly fallen snow of the season. 

With a huff of exertion and a swaddle of flannel,

You get up and trot down the stairs, passing the candles burning on the mantle.

The decorated tree twinkles with light to emit holiday cheer all through the night.

You push aside the heavy drapes of your window and you see red;

Specifically, a fur-trimmed three piece set.

Astonished by what to your wandering eyes did appear, you lean in and begin to peer. 

You must be being deceived by your eyes, you think to yourself. The apocalypse has brought to life many horrific figments that you wished were bound by imagination, but the magic of Christmas is something that seems too good to be true after such atrocity has ravaged the Earth. Maybe your vision is bleary from your biting insomnia caused by the latter, or you’ve endured enough that your mind is gifting you a glimpse back into some innocent happiness that you feared you lost long ago. To your surprise, the broad man outside doesn’t vanish with the blink of your eye; instead he trudges along in the snow with a harsh sense of reality, his back bent at a painful angle and his feet falling heavily with every step, bearing the brunt of his costumed weight plus the filled sack that is slung over his shoulder. 

Whoever this is - whether it’s a do-gooder or some bloke that had a few too many spiked eggnogs at the Tipsy Bison - it looks like they would appreciate some help. You slip your boots on and head out, wrapping your arms around yourself to cinch your flannel pajamas closer to your frame to shield yourself from the icy midnight flurries. Santa’s back is to you and he doesn’t seem to acknowledge your approaching footsteps. His grunts of exertion are carried on the wind that swirls around you in ribbons: his pack looks even heavier up close than it did from your living room window. You make an effort to announce yourself by grinding your heels into the snow, making each step crunchier than the last. 

For a fleeting moment, you relish the childlike wonder that overtakes you, that this could be the real Santa. His heart must be pounding in his ears because when you tap his velveteen shoulder softly, he jumps in shock. It’s immediately apparent that the erratic movement hurt his back further, as a large hand comes to support the small of his spine and he groans when he straightens his neck. The sack drops from his grasp into the snow below. You’re already apologizing as he turns haggardly on his heel, towards you, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Do you-”

Santa finally rounds on you and your breath catches in your throat. Framed by a faux white beard and the furry trim of his hat are big, gorgeous brown eyes that throw icicles at you with an annoyed stare. His thorough costume fails to work on you - you could recognize those beautiful, baby cow-esque eyes in an instant. A joyous cloud of condensation wafts into Santa’s face as you burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, doubling over with tears in your eyes. 

He steps forward and covers your mouth with a black leather gloved hand, “Don’t you know anythin’ about stealth?” 

The saturation of Joel’s Texan accent increases whenever he’s irritated, tired or relaxed, you’ve noticed, or whenever his controlling grip on stoicism slips just slightly and he’s allowed to return to a more organic version of himself. To his grumbling annoyance, you’ve told him how cute you find it - especially when it’s followed by a blush of tamped-down flattery that crumbles his carefully constructed grimace. 

He lets go of you when you’re able to stifle your giggles to a soft chuckling. You eye his outfit up and down, raising your eyebrow in approval. He tries his best not to mirror your bemused smirk. “ What are you doing, Joel Miller?” you ask incredulously. 

“What’s it look like I’m doin’?” he grouches rhetorically. You patiently await his answer anyway with a grin that spreads to your eyes with every second that ticks by. He eventually secedes with a sigh, his broad shoulders deflating with exhaustion from more than just your affectionate pestering, “‘M… deliverin’ toys to the kids. Getting a present from Santa is a formative experience. No kid should have their magic robbed of ‘em.” 

“Isn’t Santa just one big lie though?” you ask, genuinely. You remember the truth that your friends tried to peddle you while you were still a believer, asking you all kinds of questions as a test to your logic. How is he able to get all across the world in one night? If he’s so big, how is he able to fit down the chimney? Does Santa have to take bathroom breaks, and where?! Most of all, you remember the horror that washed over you when you confronted your parents with your newly-acquired facts, and to your fear, they confirmed the lie. It took you a while to have faith in anything they said after, to the point of absurdity - it took months for you to believe that taking medicine will actually make you feel better when you’re sick. 

Joel stiffens. Some inexplicable reason makes you think that it’s not just because of his aching back and tired knees. His voice is tight, uncomfortable, “Yeah, I guess…” 

He gradually warms back up, his words spliced with tired breaths, by explaining to you that, “Tommy told me that in years past, the adults would leave presents on Christmas morning, under that big tree they decorate in the town square,” he points behind him to the afar twinkling lights with his thumb, “just before the kids woke up. But since we found that fir tree lot about twenty miles out, everybody was able to get their own tree this year. I asked around if they think it’d be a good idea for someone… f’ me… to be Santa. So that all the kids could have the experience we had. Y’know… leave cookies out an’ all that.” He waves his hand noncommittally and looks off to the side like he thinks the whole idea is ludicrous, as if he doesn’t care. As if he isn’t the sweet, kindhearted man who introduced the very idea. 

You fight hard to disguise the enamor that strikes your heart and threatens to leak into your gaze. So you turn to a reliable defense mechanism: teasing. “So… the costume is purely for your own enjoyment then?” 

That pulls a breathy chuckle out of Joel’s chest. “I can’t have the kiddos wake up and see some old man in their house. You gotta keep up the illusion, girl.” He nudges you on the shoulder with his knuckles. When he leans in you can smell his breath, warm and sweet with faint notes of spice and cinnamon. His unprecedented playfulness always throws you for a loop and makes you squirm on your feet, a flustered smile warbling on your lips. 

It strikes you in inappropriate moments like these that you have the privilege of being chummy with one of the most sought after men in Jackson. A man whose charms you’re not immune to, but you guess you’re better at hiding their effect than others are, as Joel tended to avoid those who openly expressed intimate interest. A man who you so desperately desire, but force yourself to hide your attraction for. 

Joel sighs, bending to pick the sack handle up from the ground, “I’m bound to wake them up if I keep fuckin’ lumberin’ around like I am.” You can see how the heavy bag of toys weighs on his back and worsens his heavy-footedness. You can practically hear the alerting scuff of his boots against creaky floorboards, rousing sleeping kids and luring them to spoil their own surprise. “I damn near woke the first one up, ‘cause this fuckin’ sack got stuck between me and the door, an’-” 

He cuts himself off, gaping with offended bewilderment watching you try to smother your laughter. The image of him wrestling with the bag, let alone in a full Santa costume, is simply hilarious. A deviousness glints the smile that tugs on half of his face, “Oh, so you think my struggling is funny?”

“No, it’s just…” you search for a more suitable word but guilt shines through your twisted smile and speaks for itself. He lets the silence fill the space between you two for an uncomfortable stretch, running out your fuse until you can’t hold back your giggling. 

He puts his hand on his hip, fixing his gaze on you with lighthearted scorn, “You gon’ stand there and laugh at Santa ,” he jeers, scolding you for making fun of an innocent, jolly old man, “or are you gonna make yourself useful?” 

For a moment you completely forget why you had come out here in the first place. Joel was legitimately having a difficult time and you had wanted to aid him in any way you could. However, his badgering demeanor has put an equally brattish spin on your helping hand from its chivalrous beginning. You defiantly square your shoulders.

“Actually, I will. I can be like an elf to your Santa. The elves do all of the hard work, anyways. Making the toys, wrapping them, packing the sleigh and caring for the reindeer. And Santa… eats cookies?” 

Joel scoffs, pretending to not like the idea of some help, “Oh, yeah? You and what costume?” He jerks his chin at you, looks you up and down for your lack of costume. It’s hard not to pay any attention to the heat that rushes your cheeks thinking about him looking at you like that under different circumstances. He’s right though: you’ll need a costume to maintain the magical facade. 

A Christmas miracle bestows itself to you in the front yard you’re standing next to: a snowman outfitted as an elf. 

You go over and delicately pluck the pointed hat off of the top snowball so as not to disturb the icy artistry. You pull it down on your head, wiggle, and the movement gives the bell at the end of the point a jingle. “Ready when you are, Mr. Claus.” 

Like on patrols and other tasks you’ve been paired with him on before, you and Joel make a fantastic team delivering holiday cheer in the night. 

You’ll come to a house, quietly padding up the snowy front steps; Joel will sift through his bag for the correct present for the specific child; and hand it off to you to put under the tree inside. The parents in on the trick have left their doors unlocked and their kids have assembled platters of cookies, varying flavors from house to house, with a note of gratitude for their beloved Santa tucked underneath. You can only hope that the kids’ excited jitters for the following morning have worn their energy levels down enough that they’re soundly slumbering so you can pass through undetected. The bell on your hat is a hazardous giveaway to your presence, so you opt to leave it outside with Joel to ensure your drop-off is silent. There’s no chance any wandering eyes will catch you out of disguise, though, because, as quiet and quick as a mouse, you’re in with a gift and out with empty hands in a flash, ready for the next one. 

A couple hours in and you’ve deposited gifts to three quarters of the kids in town. You’ll definitely finish before the Christmas morning sun even thinks about peering over the horizon. Despite the share of labor you’ve accounted for, Joel continues to have a difficult time trudging through the snow, so you both slow down to a pleasant, unhurried stroll to fulfill the remainder of your recipients. 

“You okay?” you ask tenderly, smiling softly at him when he cranes his neck to meet your eyes. He nods, his voice tired and breathy, “Yeah, just… old .” He spits that last word out, with bitterness coating his tongue. The imperceptible shake of his head is impatient, agitated, that his body isn’t up to par with what it used to be capable of. 

Jackson has softened him, there’s no denying that, but you don’t think it’s such a bad thing. You only arrived at the settlement a year ago, a year into Joel’s stay. He had immediately shown you friendliness, a desire to help you settle in, to care for you. It struck you as odd when you heard the stories from other townspeople of what he was like when he was first welcomed in; that he was the cold, standoffish brother of their warm leader, Tommy, that his permanent scowl radiated a sourness, bordering on ungrateful. The par-baked sociability that you were introduced to was apparently underdone; his face flickered with uncomfortability when any affection was pushed on him, whether it was a simple compliment or a brotherly nudge to his shoulder. Joel couldn’t hide himself from you, though. His desire to surrender was so strong, so yearnful, but he constantly restrained himself from the comfort, the love, with an understandable fear that it could all be taken away. 

Accidentally, you forced him to face his fears. He enjoyed your company and soon sought out more and more opportunities to spend time with you until you were inseparable. You began to frighten him when he realized what you were to him, a friend , but it was too late; he couldn’t stay away from you, no matter how loud the loathsome voice in his head screamed for the safety that isolation guaranteed. His biggest source of anxiety now isn’t something reasonable, like clickers: it’s how far into the future he wants to go with you. 

Back in the present moment, you shrug, “Well, I think you’re doing a good thing, Joel. Old or not.” The tip of his nose and cheeks are beet red from the frosty air and itchy costume, but his blush deepens to a magenta upon hearing your words. He diverts his eyes. It’s sweet, in a way, how he has trouble accepting praise even from one of his best friends. You dump more validation onto him, because he deserves it, “The community will really love you for this, you know. I know how much you like your solitude, but it’s nice to see you involved. It suits you.” 

“I guess literally,” he gestures to his suit of red and white and you laugh together. Despite the tarnishes of age and stains of neglectful wear, the costume does fit him nicely. Just like the infamous poem, it complements his eyes that twinkle under the starlight and his merry dimple that deepens when he laughs. He even has the little round belly to complete the look, though you’re sure he has as much disdain for his softened shape as you have love for it. 

The night hours wane in proportion with the fun you’re having. Joel’s silent for a while, and though quietness is never awkward between you two, you can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking about. 

You only have a few presents left to deliver when Joel says, “Sarah loved Christmas.” 

You slow down next to him to direct your undivided attention on him in this tender moment, but he waves his hand at you to keep moving along. Always some degree of averse to comfort, you work with him however he’ll let you. He faces ahead into the snow coming down, but that’s not what he’s looking at; his gaze is slightly unfocused, like he goes into a dimension that only he can see. You’ve seen that expression on him before and know that snapshots of memories are drifting by in his mind. 

His voice is happy to match his smile, only wavering with emotion slightly as he shares with you, “She’d always be eager to start putting the decorations up right after Thanksgiving, always so giddy to go to school and do all the festive little projects they had ‘em doin’. She’d get so into it, she’d come home with glitter all in her hair,” he laughs softly and so do you. “The fridge would be completely covered with her paintings and crafts by the time Christmas came around…” 

He stops in his tracks to take a sharp breath in, looking up to the stars with damp eyes. A touch to the permanent fixture on his wrist - his watch - grounds him and restores his smile, despite the painful tinge it now has. You simply observe him for a moment, give him the patience he needs. Then he continues a bit somberly, “I always got a real tree, I didn’t like none of that fake stuff. I would’ve gone and cut one down myself if they grew better than they did in Texas.” 

A detachedness casts over his eyes. He breathes hauntedly, “Maybe a lot of things would be different if I hadn’t lived there.” 

He sniffles and shakes his head to try and dispel his thoughts, getting irritated that they infiltrated him in the first place. You take a gingerly step forward and lay your fingers over his with impossible tenderness, stroking his quivering knuckles. 

“Sounds like she would’ve loved being your little helper tonight.” A stroke of happiness glimmers across his face, colors him back from his ghostly hue. 

“Yep, she would’ve been all over that.” 

With all of the delicacy you can muster to cushion your shameless, vital honesty, “I bet she would be proud of what you’re doing… of you .” 

You reach into his bag and take out the last remaining present, placing it into his hands so he can be the one to close out the magical evening and deliver the final gift. Joel nods with residual tears in his eyes, “I can only hope.”

“I know,” you reassure him. 

The corners of his mouth, downturned in shame and grief, begin to perk up ever so slightly. It sends you over the moon. A staggering leap of growth for Joel are imperceptible steps to others, but you’re always by his side to assure him that there’s nothing wrong with his pace. 

You’re the one to wait outside this time while he sneaks in. While he’s disappeared for a few moments, you think about how he used to react when Sarah was brought up - or more likely, when his thoughts brought her to him unprovoked. He’d have brutal panic attacks, where his heart would pound violently in between seizures of oxygen, courtesy of his crippling lungs. He’d be rendered debilitated for days afterward, trying to collect his shattered remains and haphazardly piece himself back together. 

But now, as he slowly closes the door behind him and turns to join you, his commendable progress frays your heartstrings. Though his eyes are still hurt and his heart still gives him problems, he’s able to talk about his daughter with unbridled joy . Her memory is no longer an abyss of torturous guilt; it has blossomed to remind him of all the happy days she did have, of what a beautiful soul she was and can continue to be in his heart. He’s realizing that instead of solely mourning her wrongful death, he can carry on her life by spreading the joy she instilled in him all those years ago. You view it as one of the highest honors to hear about her and to be friends with the wonderful man who raised her to be the kind girl she was. Seeing Joel’s misery lessened by any number makes you so happy you could cry. 

Joel comes up to you and concern crosses his face, “What’s wrong?”, upon seeing the gleam to your eyes, putting a heavy hand on your shoulder.

“Nothin’,” you say with a shrug and a proud smile, subconsciously parroting his accent.

“Congratulations on another successful year, Santa,” you hold up your hand for a silly high five. Joel obliges with a resounding chuckle. He intertwines his fingers with yours, holding your hand long after the celebration. “Couldn’t have done it without your help,” he mumbles sheepishly, “Thank you.”

Since you were the one picking up Santa’s slack for the most part tonight, you were also the one to take bites of cookies and sips of milk to leave as evidence of your visit. It only dawns on you now that Joel hasn’t had any treats the whole night. What a holiday abomination! 

“I think Santa is entitled to his fair share of payment,” you playfully nudge at Joel’s belly and he swats your hand away with a grunt. “I made some cookies of my own, and I have some milk to pair if I’m remembering your tastes correctly.” He shakes his head, rolls his eyes. “Wanna come back to mine for some?” 

Joel squeezes your hand in his, “Sure.” 

The morning sun still has a few hours left to sleep by the time you and Joel cross your threshold. The house you were gifted in the center of town is small, but it’s a haven nonetheless. When you first moved in, Joel was assigned to check all the inner workings and help furnish, but most importantly he helped you return to yourself: what colors you liked and didn’t like, which way you preferred your living room to be arranged, where you wanted your mugs stored. It was incidental, trivial things, but their impact was seriously underestimated. He helped make the little blank-slate house yours. 

He enjoys being in it as much as you do because he’s constantly surrounded by you and the evidence of your habits and patterns. The rings of coffee staining your side table, next to the bookmarked novel on the arm of your couch. The shoes dropped unceremoniously by your front door. The dish towel powdered with the flour of cookies you made earlier, their mouthwatering scent lingering in the air with the dry, residual warmth from your oven. He doesn’t know if he wants to consume you or be consumed by you, but either way he knows one thing: he’s bewitched.

In the kitchen, he leans against the counter as you pour him a glass of milk and plate some cookies. The long night’s energy expenditure has worked up quite an appetite in him, so he doesn’t waste any more time and takes a bite. 

“You have to dip it in the milk and let it get soft! They’re best that way,” you offer, but he just waves you off with affectionate annoyance. 

From his sloppy eating, a piece of chocolate has smeared itself on his upper lip and into the hairs of his mustache. It makes you smile. Without thinking, you lick the pad of your thumb and bring it to his face to clean it off. 

Joel’s lips part, as if with practiced ease, so you can really get in there. It’s so natural , so domestic between the two of you; it’s startling. His eyes are on you and you can feel them, watching you with brazen intensity as you prod the plushness of his lip, but you keep your own gaze focused on your work. 

You flicker a fatal glance into his. Joel wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you in for a kiss that’s a strange mix of gentle and intoxicating. Just as it registers in your brain what is happening, he’s breaking away and it makes you want to cry.  

“I’m sorry, I should’ve asked first, goddamn fool …” he grumbles to himself. He goes to remove himself from you further, but you pull him right back by the chest of his t-shirt that’s damp with sweat. 

“You should’ve.” You press your lips to his with ravenous fervor. 

You pull him to the living room, to the chair that he picked out for the space when you first moved in. The soft suede reminded him of you, he had said, and you didn’t realize what his true meaning was until now. His fingertips skim over your exposed skin, addicted, yet tentative in their touch of such preciousness. 

You swiftly rid him of the rest of his costume down to his underclothes and he soon follows to undress you until you’re left in your base layers. You’re practically shaking with need, wishing you could take your time with him but you’ve been pining after him all night (really, ever since the moment you laid eyes on him over a year ago.) That goofy costume couldn’t hide his delicious figure and he makes you delirious now that he’s exposed; his broad, inviting chest; his sexy, burly arms; his cute little ass. 

He shares your desire’s impatience. He falls onto the chair, pressing against the back. You climb into his lap, straddling his thighs, and wrap your arms around his neck to pull him into you for another desperate kiss.

One of his hands balances you on your hip and the other fumbles with his belt buckle frustratingly. He groans impatiently into your mouth, but your aid is being dispersed elsewhere; your fingers are tethered to his hair, brushing it and grabbing it and pulling it. 

Finally he solves the metallic riddle and you both sigh in relief when his stiff length is released, slapping against your thigh. You reach down and stroke him from base to tip a couple times, making his eyebrows scrunch in pleasure. This is going to be quick, you both know it, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be enjoyable. 

You’re just as near to bursting as Joel when you sink down onto him, inch by glorious inch. He digs his heels into the floor in preparation to fuck up into you, but you beat him to it and begin to ride. He groans loudly, his arms constricting around your waist and burying his face into your neck. He’s holding you so tight that you can barely move; it makes your thighs burn deliciously with the amount of effort you have to put in to keep up your pace. You work up a sweat to rival his as a fresh sheen breaks out on his brow. 

Combined with the heated passion, there’s an enamored twinkle in his eyes, an adoration. One that screams that four-letter L word, the one that his brain wants to profess to you from rooftops but that his heart can’t work up the strength to say it and make it real. 

The holidays are run on magic, anyways - you’re content to give him all the time he needs. 

“Please, Joel,” you whisper breathlessly into his ear, wanting his body if you can’t have his heart just yet. That does him in; his hips stutter beneath you and his warmth fills you up, radiating up from your core until it tickles the underside of your pounding heart. Your own release is brought on by his sly fingers against your clit and it seizes your movements, rippling in tantalizing waves from head to toe, until you’re reduced to a puddle in his arms and slump against his chest. 

Hazy with exhaustion and a potent shot of dopamine, you barely register him tucking a blanket around you before you succumb to some much-needed sleep. 

The Christmas morning sun breaks over the horizon a few hours later. Amidst your throes of passion in the darkness of night, you hadn’t realized your front window’s curtains were strewn wide open. You and Joel both startle awake when a particularly harsh sunbeam glints off of a frosty white snow bank, shooting directly into your unprepared pupils. 

You bury your face into his chest, groaning with embarrassment, “I really hope nobody starts singing that they saw an elf kissing Santa Claus.”

Your newly minted lover chuckles, wrapping his arms around you and holding you ever closer, “Eh, all the kids were asleep. And if any adults saw…,” he shrugs, “Fuck ‘em.”

Now, your blanketed bodies remain safely hidden from the happy kids running about and cheering in the streets with their new toys. Joel watches on with you, smiling despite the sleep deprivation that prohibits you from even thinking about moving an inch. And with Joel beneath you, surrounding you, why would you? 

“You know, I’ve been thinking for a while now…” he continues, running a finger delicately down your cheek, “I’ve been wanting to promote my head elf, but she’s already at the top of my list.”

You poke him in the chest playfully, “Hey, I’m a seasonal worker. Last night was a one-time deal. Well, what happened before we got home was a one-time deal,” you specify. 

Your clarification brightens his smile. “How d’ya think… Mrs. Claus sounds?”

Your heart leaps. “Sounds like just what I’ve been wishing for.”

You settle in to watch the rest of the morning unfold, with the joyous kids playing, their contented parents observing, and the snow swirling in the air in dreamy trails.

“Merry Christmas, Joel.”

He presses a tender kiss to your forehead. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

summary excerpt from “‘a visit from st. nicholas” by clement clarke moore

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💘taglist: @pascalpanic @melody13522 @tenderwhat @maievdenoir @pedrostories @uncassettodiricordi @harriedandharassed @scentedcandletidalwave @joelsflannel

[the-kr8tor]

hi!!! I was wondering if U could write hobie celebrating his partner's (gn! reader) birthday with them for fluffy Friday?

have a nice day :)

Thank you for the lovely request! If you sent this around your bday im so so sorry it's late, hope u had a good one! ❤️❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, cw food, cw food mentions, lovestruck Hobie, FLUFF.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You feel feather light kisses on your cheeks, completely knowing who's smooching you in your sleepy state, you pretend to stay asleep.

Hobie huffs, breath fanning your lashes. He presses numerous kisses on your forehead and on the curve of your nose, increasing in roughness with every passing second you don't wake. After letting you sleep in, he's grown antsy, excited to show you what he's planned just for you.

You stop a smile from forming when he pecks a part of your jaw that's sensitive. Feeling him lean away, you have a theory on what he does next.

In a flash, Hobie places his face atop your neck, before you could react, he blows raspberries on your skin. Your eyes fly open, palms over his broad shoulders in an attempt to push him away. Legs kicking in delight, giggles filling the bedroom, he saves you from the oh so awful act by simply leaning away. He Presses a sloppy kiss atop your neck just before he moves away from it.

You promptly beam up at him, eyes bright, sneaking a quick peck over his wrist near your face.

“Happy birthday, love” Hobie brings his forehead over to yours, thankful for another year of you on this earth.

“Is it? I couldn't tell from the lack of birthday kisses” you joke.

“It's because you're getting on with age, you couldn't remember me snogging all of your wrinkles.”

You gasp, acting offended. “Wrinkles?! Excuse me!” Your legs wrap around his waist, tickling the small of his back with your heel.

He rolls his eyes at your attempt, “Keep doin' that and you won't get your present.”

You stop your attack immediately, perking up at his last word. “Present? You got me something?”

“Yes,” He scoops you up effortlessly, sitting you down on the mattress. “But first, breakfast”

“Aww” you coo, “you made me birthday breakfast?”

“I cook your breakfast almost everyday, love” he moves towards the bedroom door, keeping conversation with you over his shoulder.

“And I'm always grateful!” you yell after him, leaning slightly to watch his back through the open door while he takes something from the kitchen counter.

“Like what you see?” Hobie teases you, feeling your eyes observing him.

“Hell yeah I do!” he guffaws at your flirty reply.

Hobie struts inside, hands full with a tray, dishes clink together as he carefully lays it over your lap. Balancing it over the pillow he placed beforehand.

The fluffy pancakes get your attention, soft with butter melting over the pastry, chocolate chips dot the pancake, your stomach growls at the sight of it. A fruit cup sits next to it, all customized with your favourite fruits, cut to tiny slices by Hobie himself. A steaming cup of coffee wafts your nostrils, just the smell of it wakes you up from the lingering sleepiness.

Your heart melts like the butter on top of your pancake, you have an urge to squeeze Hobie full of your love.

“Come here, handsome” you flex your fingers towards him, calling him over, eyes full of hearts.

“Handsome, huh? ‘m guessing you like it” Hobie indulges you, probably the first of many coddling for your special day. Arms wrap around you, carefully avoiding the meal from getting toppled. His hand cradles the back of your head, you pepper kisses over his jaw, five o'clock shadow scratching your nose.

Kiss “I” kiss “love it” smooch “and I” kiss “love you”

Finishing off from devouring his face, you let out a loud smacking sound with your lips, nuzzling his neck for good measure. Hobie giddily smiles through it all.

You pull away, he cleans the corner of your eyes gently with his pinky. “Eat, or I'll eat it all for you”

“Are you hungry? We can share” you squeeze his bicep. “Hobie, have you eaten?” there's concern in your voice.

“I have, ate some of your pancakes” truth be told he did eat, but only the ones that aren't pretty enough to be added to your plate. The ones who didn't make the cut, the edges burnt or the ones that aren't fluffy enough.

“And fruit” Hobie can still smell the juice on his fingers with how much he cut, he practiced a bit with different ways of cutting it, so far he's eaten so many rejects that he can't stand eating another fruit for at least another week or two.

He's incredibly full.

“Okay, you sure? We can go half on the pancakes”

He chuckles, “‘m sure, love. Go eat, just watching you makes me full” Hobie taps his stomach dramatically.

“Sap” you hide a lopsided smile under the mug. The mixture's just right, perfectly blended just how you like it. Sighing in content, Hobie watches you with fondness.

“Fuck, these are perfect” you munch on your pancake, sweetness filling your tongue.

If only you know how many he made (and ate) just for you to get the perfect batch. Not too sweet or bland, not gooey or flat. Just right for your taste.

He hums, proud of himself. Hobie mentally pats himself on the back for a job well done.

“Thank you, lemme kiss you”

After eating your fill and many kisses in between, Hobie hands you a red string. You look at him perplexed.

“What's this?” You hold the string, weighing it with your hand.

“Follow the string for your present” he stands up, hand reaching to help you out of the bed.

You scream in delight, practically jumping off the mattress. “Thank you!” Hugging him tightly, you hold his hand together with the string.

“Let's go!”

A/N: did I get the string idea from frozen fever? Yes I did lmaoo

[updownlately]

it was late at night (you held on tight)

| alessia x reader | hurt/comfort | 2.4k | disclaimer: slight mention of heavy topics- read at your own discretion! | a/n: based of this and another ask (that i lost). got it a while ago, inspo struck now, yenno the drill- i do reqs eons after they're sent in. to the anon that req'd it, it's not the most angst to fluff but i hope it's fine? space song just radiates h/c vibes and so yeah...anyways, happy reading folks!

“it was late at night, you held on tight from an empty seat, a flash of light it will take a while to make you smile somewhere in these eyes, i’m on your side" "tender is the night for a broken heart who will dry your eyes when it falls apart?”

~~~

Some nights were good. 

The type of good where breathing came easy. 

Where the air was light, the stars bright.

Nights where friends felt like family, a house a home. 

Dark hours where light shone easily, mind at peace. 

Nights where everything felt okay- good even- for a short while. 

However, tonight? Tonight unfortunately was not one of those nights.

Not when all you could do was sit in the corner of your living room, knees hugged to your chest, eyes trained on your window as you stared at the light-polluted sky. 

Not when all you tried to do was figure out if any one of the stars in the sky was staring down at you, cheering for you, once on this earth, a being, now gone. 

Not when all you were left with was a treasure chest full of memories, ones you so desperately wished you could bury deep, deep into the ground, hopefully, slowly, eventually to be forgotten so you could move on.

Tonight was not a good night, and as you shuffled uncomfortably on the hard floor, your eyes fell on your phone settled beside you, the glaring message from a few minutes ago taunting you, it reminded you painfully so. 

‘Are you okay?’

It had to be criminal, the way she knew you so well. 

Three texts you hadn’t responded to throughout the day and bam, the guess that you weren’t okay. 

You’d call her overprotective if she wasn’t right, but she was, and you didn’t know what to do. 

Hovering over the send button, your eyes traced over what you had typed, having already gone back and changed it nearly four times before settling on debating whether you should send this.

The simple ‘no’ that was typed out in the text box glared back at you almost pleadingly, your heart turning in your chest, the implications of the word terrifying.

You could hit send, and it would be okay. You could hit send and she’d probably come over and it would be alright. You could. But could you really?

Because she’d make the drive out at nearly eleven at night. Because something could happen on the way over and you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself. Because you were supposed to be strong, for fuck’s sake. You were an adult, you could handle a little bit of gloominess, right? Because you didn’t need help, you were the helper. Because this wasn’t fair to her, and you didn’t want to be a burden- you couldn’t be a burden. 

Swallowing the lump in your throat as the small voice in your head got louder, you took ahold of your phone, bringing it up to your face. 

You could send this, or you couldn’t. 

You could make it through the night, but she’d make it easier.

You could be strong, but asking for help didn’t make you any weak.

You could sit here and hurt, alone, but you didn’t have to.

Sharply inhaling, your other hand curling into a near-painful fist, nails digging into your palm, you pressed and held the button with the arrow you promptly locked your phone, tossing it gently to the rug in front of you instantly after, the voices in your head getting just a tad bit louder with each passing minute.

You’d be okay…eventually.

~~~

It’s nearly twenty minutes later that you hear the gentle knocks ring through the apartment. 

You make no move to get up, however. 

In fact, you couldn’t get up even if you tried. 

Mind frozen as the consequences of your actions finally set in, all you could do was stay rooted to your spot as you heard another set of knocks ring through before the tell tale sound of a key turning in the lock reached your ears.

Head rising from where it had been resting on your arms, you stared intently at the hallway by your front door, the opening and closing of the door distinct, your breath stilling with each footstep that made its way closer towards you.

“Hey?”

The soft voice floated down the hallway, the lump in your throat lessening ever so slight at the mere sound of the blonde. Yet, you couldn’t muster up the courage to speak, the fact that she was here still not having sunk in.

You listened closely as Alessia’s cautious footfalls slowly picked up pace, the worry clear in her voice as she called out again, this time more confidently.

“Love?”

Just barely finding your voice as she reached the threshold of the living room, your dark figure called out quietly, if nothing than to save her from panicking any further.

“I’m here…”

Your meek reply was accompanied by you raising your hand ever so slightly, one eye wincing as an embarrassed look crossed your face. 

Watching ashamedly as Alessia raked her eyes over your figure, you awkwardly lowered your hand as she stepped towards you.

You waited for her to question you. To question the three texts you had missed earlier. To question why your apartment was bathed in darkness. Why you were on the floor.

You waited for the questions. You waited for the disappointment. 

You waited only for it to never come. 

Eyebrows furrowing in confusion, you stared, mouth agape, as she silently made way to sit beside you, an arm coming to rest on your shoulder as she stretched out her long legs.

You wouldn’t know it, but you looked like a wreck. The way your hair was unruly, tangles clear as strands flew in every which direction. 

Tear stained cheeks just barely visible in the dim light shining from the window. The way your knees were tucked to your chest made you look tiny, both combining easily to wordlessly convey that you needed a little bit of extra love today. 

It was why Alessia silently made way to sit beside you, ignoring the questions running rampant in her mind.

Letting her emotions make the calls, she quietly let her heart speak, the arm resting on your shoulders gently bringing you closer to her, your head now leaning on her shoulder. 

It seemed like the right move too, with the way you immediately sighed at the contact, tension deflating ever so slightly as you let yourself rest, revelling in the tender care.

And it’s how the pair of you sat, leant up against each other, heartbeat a bit more regular, breaths a bit easier, as the sky got darker, the stars a tad bit brighter. 

Intently watching as you slowly got more comfortable, she took note of your puffy eyes, the dark circles clear beneath them, the tired sag of your shoulders even though you both had been only sat for the past bit. It was clear that the tiredness wasn’t a day to day type of exhaustion, and that worried her the most. 

This wasn’t you- not the normal you. 

The normal you ran on full batteries, always- lovingly nicknamed the team’s very own ‘Energizer bunny’.

The normal you whose smile would light up any room, presence enough to bring a ray of light, airy positivity never too far from where you’d be. 

The normal you that everyone got to see.

But this? The side that not many saw? Alessia wanted to make sure it was a secret for the right reasons. That it remained unknown by many because you never felt low often, because if she could, if it was in her control, she’d make sure that a smile would permanently be on your face, effortlessly. 

So as minutes passed, the quarter of an hour flying by, then nearly a half an hour, the pair of you didn’t move, Alessia well aware that comfort was the best she could give right now.

Despite how uncomfortable the ground had gotten, the blonde didn’t dare say a word, instead choosing to hide her discomfort by turning slightly towards you, arms coming to wrap around your torso and head as you two slouched slightly against the wall.

She’d sit her for as long as you'd need her to.

Consumed by the silence, she rubbed gentle circles into your shoulder blades, hoping the action could provide some sort of grounding presence as your breaths slowly evened, head becoming heavier as it rested, your grip on her arm loosening. 

It was only when the clock nearly hit midnight, when the city slowly geared to a stop, did she speak- a hushed voice squeezing through the calm. 

“Did you eat yet?”

The question had you stiffening, quickly being pulled out of your calming state into one of disdain. 

Because of course she’d know you weren’t taking care of yourself.

Eyebrows furrowing in worry as you shook your head in response, you not meeting her gaze, the striker gently straightened, bringing you up with her. 

“If I make you a snack, and I promise it’ll be a snack, would you have a couple bites?”

Some T&C couldn’t hurt, right?

The gentle question had your stomach sinking, the thought of consuming anything in this state nearly unbearable, yet you couldn’t find it in yourself to disappoint her- not after she came to check in on you. 

Hesitantly nodding, you watched as Alessia studied you, the blonde mirroring your nods encouragingly as she began to rise from the ground, hand extended towards you, pulling you up as well. 

Leading you to your kitchen, she helped you settle on a bar stool, foregoing the main lights and instead turning on the range lights, aware that you more likely preferred a darker setting right now.  

Quickly making a sandwich, the blonde presented you with a plate, taking a seat beside you as her hand went to rest on your thigh in quiet reassurance. 

Reaching for one half, so she could encourage you, the Gunner held it out expectantly, small smile on her face as she waited for you to bump yours against her. 

Unable to keep a straight face at her antics, a small but grateful smile broke through your face, Alessia’s mission successful. Bringing your own half up to gently knock against hers before taking a deep breath in, you watched as she eyed you whilst taking a bite out of her sandwich, gesturing at you to do the same. 

Matching your pace, not pressuring you to eat anything you didn’t want but eating with you in support, the both of you managed to slowly but surely finish, your mind already a little distracted from the spiral earlier.

You watched as Alessia gathered your dishes, tossing them in the sink to be dealt with in the morning, and quickly cleaned up the kitchen, wiping the island free of crumbs, turning off the light, and washing her hands before making her way over to you once again. 

Intertwining your hands in the dim light from outside, she raised her eyebrows at you, a small yawn escaping her, inciting one from you.

“How are we feeling about heading to bed?”

She pressed a quick kiss to your forehead at your quick small nods of agreement, glad that you were at least coming out of your shell a bit, a tiny but sure indicator that you were pulling out of the storm in your mind.

Leading you both to your bedroom, the other girl well familiar with your apartment and you trusting her easily to guide you, you followed compliantly.

With Alessia quickly changing into a spare set of clothes she kept at your place, and you into a pair of old shorts and an oversized t-shirt from years ago, the both of you quietly did your night time routines, never apart for more than a few seconds.

Be it brushing your teeth or as you took turns cleansing your face, the both of you were attached at the hip, you for your own sanity and the comforting aura of the taller girl, and Alessia because she felt better knowing you were okay beside her. 

It was only when the both of you were ready to sleep did you make your way over to the bed, each going to your own respective sides, having spent the night at each other’s place countless times before. 

Minutes later, when you’re both settled in, cuddled up near the middle of the mattress as you lay your head on Alessia’s shoulder, your body nearly covering hers whilst she had one arm wrapped around your waist and another running through your hair, the room bathed in near darkness save for the light that sneaked through the drawn curtains, you let yourself break gently, the comfort of her arms safe.

Silent tears leaving your eyes, you quickly felt them wiped away by the girl below you, the hand that was running through your hair now resting on your cheek without question, ready to catch any more tears that would fall.

It’s in the shelter of her arms that you let the quiet words slip, the admission causing a stabbing pain in your chest as it reminded you of why life felt so bleak as of late.

“I miss them…”

“I know love, I know….”

There was a pause in the air after the hushed words, Alessia adjusting herself so that her arms came to fully encircle you, trapping you in a bubble of her warmth.

Pressing her lips to your crown, muffled words escaped her, the reassuring tone bringing you a small breath of relief, her belief in you lifting a weight off your chest.

“You’ll be okay though, soon enough, yeah? And until then, you’ve got me, I’m on your side.”

Nodding surely at that statement, not a doubt in your mind that the blonde would always be there for you, like you would for her, you let your grip tighten, the silent thank you easily spoken as you let the tiredness and warmth take over you.

Alessia’s presence making even the worst of nights a little easier, a tad bit more bearable, you let yourself drift off into a dreamless sleep, well-aware you were in safe hands. 

Early in the day, or late at night, you knew that at the end of the day, she would be there in an instant to dry your eyes, and you loved her more than ever for it.