The Choice
Pairings: Harry Potter x Fem!Reader x Draco Malfoy
Summary: Y/N is forced to decide between risking her own life or assisting in the murder of Harry Potter. She’s confident in her decision, until realizing the effects her choice will have on those she loves most.
Word Count: 2164
⚠️: Swearing, Mentions of Death
Harry coils my hair around his finger as I lay in his lap.
The orange illuminant from the fire place is just bright enough for me to make out the sparkles in his eyes that I’ve grown to appreciate so much. I stare into an endless void of love and compassion. A kind of feeling i’ve only ever been gifted from Harry.
What we have is good. It’s true and honest and genuine. Harry makes my life amazingly wonderful in more ways that I can count.
He’s changed me, and apparently I’ve done the same to him. Hermione swears that the only time his grimness fades is when i’m near. But ever since Cedric died, it’s like he’s escaped back into his darkness. A darkness that neither Sirius or I can dwindle.
“So,” He whispers, staring into my eyes with that soft smile I almost adore as much as his sparkle. My lips turn up. “What was keeping you so busy earlier?”
And just like that the melancholy fades. My eye contact breaks and smile disappears. Here we go. “Hm?”
“You, Hermione, Ron and I were all supposed to study in the library. Remember?”
“Oh, yeah.” I chuckle, “I just got lost in the the forest.”
“The forest.” He repeats non-believing. “The forest that you’ve navigated your way through for the past four years?” He watches me with furrowed brows. Already fuming. We both know that i’m lying. It wasn’t meant to be a believable story.
I nod.
“So you can honestly tell me you weren’t with Draco?”
“Well-“
He shifts as if purposefully trying to remove my head from the comfort of his lap.
“I was out there alone…” I trail. His wide eyes searching my expression for the end of my sentence. “at first!”
He quickly rises to his feet, watching me accusingly.
“At first?”
“Harry listen- “
“I can’t believe this!” He scoffs, marching to the boys dormitory.
I throw myself forward and follow after him “Harry, please- I didn’t intend on spending the afternoon with him, he just-“
“He just what, Y/N?” He turns, “Just makes you want to abandon your friends? Makes you want to abandon me?”
I reach for him as he begins to storm away but his wand is just as speedily pulled from his robe and pointed at my chest.
I speechlessly examine his extended arm that threatens my life. The sparkles in his eyes have diminished. I can hardly recognize him at all, but I’m sure he’s thinking the exact same thing about me. I’m positive that in his eyes I look like everyone else in this awful world who has betrayed and used and hurt him. The girl who gave him his first taste of happiness, but not anywhere close to his first taste of heartbreak.
I was supposed to be different. But I never was. I knew that and now I need Harry to as well.
“I-“ He begins shamefully before frustratedly stomping into his dorm and slamming the door shut. Any Gryffindor who was once asleep, definitely lie awake now.
I stand completely stunned. My hands shake and tears stream down my face as the argument replays over and over again in my head.
It’s for his own good, I tell myself.
It’s for my own good.
I’m honestly surprised it took him this long to break. I’ve been trying to manipulate a fight big enough for him to dispose of me once and for all for the longest time, I didn’t think this would be his final straw. Despite my intentions, I’m in a genuine state of shock. I’ve finally done it.
I love Harry, and I have for a very long time. What Harry and I have is different than any love I’ve ever shared with anybody else, but it wasn’t always that way.
Voldemort utilized me from a young age. Making me a Gryffindor to earn trust and do his little dirty deeds. I was meant to learn, lie, help, and report but as time went on, my missions grew so much larger, and exceedingly more important. Such a ginormous weight has fallen onto the shoulders of Draco and I, and such dire consequences will be met if we don’t complete what is required of us. But I can’t lie any longer. I’ve been doing it for the past four years and i’m done. I’ve held onto Harry for as long as I possibly can, but I refuse to be the reason he gets murdered by Voldemort, even if I have to risk my own life.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
My knock echoes through the empty hallway. Cobwebs decorate the long, dim room.
Blaise opens the door and music pours from inside. He’s laughing at somebody behind him, alcohol spilling from the plastic cup he holds in his left hand.
Not being granted any attention, I push through his arm that still rests on the door handle, almost causing him to lose his balance.
“Hey-“ He threatens, “Y/N?”
I easily make my way through the complicated ins and outs of the Slytherins Common room, Blaise trailing behind me. I’ve probably been here as many times as I’ve been to my own house’s common room.
“Where’s Draco?” I question, not stopping my search.
People hardly pay me any attention. It should be considered unusual for a Gryffindor to interrupt a Slytherins party, but everyone’s taken an understanding to mine and Draco’s complicated relationship. I’ve been in this same situation more times than I can count.
“He’s uh-“ He scratches the back of his neck, handing his cup off to someone else, “Now isn’t a good time, Y/N.”
“Why?” I question, storming up the stairs and opening the door to his own dormitory, interrupting Spencer Winfield making love to some third year. “Sorry,” I roll my eyes, slamming the door shut. It’s only now that I see Blaise’s face. It’s completely guilt ridden. I look back to the door that I’ve just closed. “Pansy?” I murmur, and he nods.
The harsh beat of the music shakes the large room that we stand in, and yet the silence is still uncomfortable. I don’t care that Draco is involved with Pansy, because we are not committed to one another by any means. However, we both know about our families intentions to pair us, two pure bloods with a respectable name, together when we’re older.
It hasn’t stopped me from loving Harry, why should it stop him from fucking Pansy?
My eyes peer to the dormitory Pansy sleeps in, and I begin making my way to it, using my wand to swing the door open before Blaise has the chance to stop me.
Pansy is butt ass naked, while Draco only has his pants off. Typical. He humiliates her by keeping her fully undressed to get the most out of his pleasurable experience, while not even having the curtesy to remove all of his own clothes. She’s either totally clueless, or totally desperate.
I stifle an ironic laugh and storm away from the door, down the stairs and out of the Slytherin common room. Draco will follow me.
I give Blaise the reaction he expects, but don’t feel how he suspects I do. I love Harry, and I love Draco, but not in the same way. I’ve gone through unspeakable traumas with Draco, we share a tattoo that binds us for life, and we’ve been through countless life or death situations, including one right now. I don’t care who Draco fucks.
The door clicks opens behind me and I quickly spin around to be met with Draco’s infamous raised brow. His face morphs into an expression of confusion, and then concern. “Trouble with Potter?”
“I guess you could say that.”
He smirks. “What’d I do this time?”
“Follow me into the forest.”
“And you came here because what- you’re mad at me?” He partially jokes, knowing It’s not his own fault.
“I came here because,” I pause, taking a deep breath and sighing in attempt to calm myself down. “I did it on purpose.”
“Huh?”
“I’ve been starting fights with him. Making him jealous, abandoning plans, sparking arguments regularly, for no reason.”
He stares at me in confusion. He’s comforted me countless times in the past few months as I ranted on about mine and Harry’s new quarrel. Why would I put myself through that purposefully?
Tears heavily gloss my eyes, as multiple descend my cheek. “Harry and I are done for good. I ended things so…” I trail, gaining a confident front. “So I couldn’t be used to hurt the people I love any longer.”
A lightbulb goes off in his head. His breathing deepens and eyes narrow. “So instead of betraying Harry Potter, you’re going to betray one of the most powerful wizards in the world? The man who constantly reminds us how easily he could take our lives away?”
I nod, almost regretfully.
“Do you not understand what the fuck you’ve done? You have no purpose to him!”He throws his hands in the air, furiously turning away from me. “Thats what he’ll say right before he murders you in front of me. In front of your family!”
I stifle a sob, crumbling onto the floor and burying my face in my knees. “You couldn’t possibly understand.”
“Understand?” He yells, “You’re right, Y/N, I don’t fucking understand! Please explain to me why you would betray fucking-, “He cuts himself off, throwing his fist into a nearby wall and shouting in frustration. Even we’re too scared to speak his name. After a moment of silence, he rubs his hands over his face and takes a seat next to me.
“We’re dead.” He says blankly, staring at the wall ahead of us.
I wish he would speak again, but he doesn’t. Not for a long time. We sit in utter stillness for what feels like eternity.
Finally, he turns to me, and I mumble, “Im sorry, Draco. We didn’t choose this life but neither did Harry, I can’t let him suffer because of me.”
His eyes peer down to the floor, before he slowly rises and extends his arm to me. I watch him in confusion.
“We have to tell Snape.”
“Snape?” I jump up, “What for?”
“He can help us.”
“No he can’t- he’ll- he’ll tell him!”
“He won’t. And if he does, he was going to find out sooner or later.”
I open my mouth but have nothing to rebuttal. Draco’s right. But it doesn’t make getting berated any less difficult.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
“You did what?” Snape shouts directly into my face. I extend my neck back as far as it will go while my body is confined to a chair.
He turns around and starts pacing while mumbling things to himself.
“You understand you’ve marked the lot of you for death don’t you?”
“But Harr-“ He slams his fist down, before slowing descending into his chair.
“Harry is a grown up problem, not something for a child to worry about.”
“But that’s not true!” I stand, “He is my problem, i’m the one sentencing him to death! I’m fifteen and forced to follow an evil, murderous wizard! I can’t do it!”
“He is not murderous nor evil and you shall never speak those words again!” Snape screams, freezing me. “You will go and make amends with Harry Potter or you will be killed. That is that.” I quickly wipe the tears away from my cheeks. He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Do you want Draco’s blood on your hands?”
He quickly opens a file and begins searching through the papers for something, clearly signaling me to leave. I sit stunned. I knew the risk I was taking by breaking things off with Harry. So blinded by not wanting him to get hurt, Draco’s life was a fleeting thought.
I slowly rise to my feet and assure my balance. I feel like i’m going to be sick. I open the door, and click it shut as Draco searches my dazed expression.
“You heard all of that, right?” I whisper, unable to meet his eyes. He didn’t hear everything. Does Draco know that we’re close to serving the same sentence?
“What are you gonna do?”
I stay silent for a moment, wondering myself.
“What else is there to do?” My voice breaks as I turn away from him. I allow my tears to fall, my heart to break, my walls to crack. I’m not strong, not now. I don’t know if I ever will feel strong again. How can I when I can’t even protect the people I most care about?
I half expected Draco to smirk at the news, but he doesn’t. His otherwise usually empty expression is now one of genuine sorrow. He doesn’t like Harry, never has. I wonder for a moment if he did hear what Snape said about him. But he didn’t. He feels bad for Harry. He feels bad for me.
I feel bad for him.
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