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hopelikethemoon · 4 years

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Muted Worries (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Muted Worries Rating: PG-13 Length: 1900 Warnings: Post-Partum Depression, discussion of post-pregnancy body changes, and lots and lots of ANGST. Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set in 1997 about two weeks after Sofía‘s birth. I literally wish I could see this chapter as a scene, because the emotions hurt while writing this. Summary: Reader grapples with her emotions and worries.

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Josie was obsessed with her sister. If Chucho was holding Sofía, Josie was perched on the chair beside him; if Javier was carrying her around, Josie was right underfoot; and if you were feeding her, Josie was there asking you to hold the bottle.

You wished you could harness her enthusiasm and feel something. But you couldn’t. You brushed it off as lingering exhaustion, a sort of fatigue that ran straight to the core of your being.

Everything hurt. Worse than it had with Josie. Or at least, worse than you remembered. Sofía was smaller than her sister and yet it felt like you’d given birth to a water buffalo, instead of a baby.

No one ever talked about how miserable women felt after childbirth — and it wasn’t like you could even complain about it to Connie. You already felt guilty enough for feeling miserable. Like you were a bad mother for being disinterested in everything.

Maybe it was the medicine they had you on. You’d tried to avoid prescriptions your entire life — for obvious reasons — but this was one you couldn’t avoid.

The fact that you couldn’t feed your daughter was probably another part of it. And pumping a dozen times a day, only to send it down the drain was a depressing venture. No one talked about how much this shit fucked a woman up. No one.

“Hey—“ Javier started as he walked into the bedroom.

“Knock much?” You snapped.

Javier froze and you watched as the warmth faded from his expression, “Shit. I’ll come back.” He muttered as he moved to retreat from the room.

“Just stay.” You said with a beleaguered sigh as you shut off the machine, unscrewing the full bottle and sitting it aside on the nightstand. “Sorry.”

“I can go.” Javier offered, not quite meeting your eyes as he looked across the room at you.

“You’re already here, just stay.”

You readjusted the pump on your other breast, attaching the second bottle before turning the machine back on. The quiet whirring filled the uncomfortable silence that had settled between you.

Javier lingered by the door, like he was planning for a quick escape. You couldn’t even blame him. None of this was worth the hassle.

“Pops thought it might be nice if we got out of the house and went to the beach this evening.” He suggested, rubbing his lips together as he glanced at you.

“I’ll see if I’m up to it.” You winced when the suction of the pump pinched your skin. “Shit.”

“Do you need—“

“I’ve got it.” You waved him off as you shut the pump off and pulled it off your breast, causing a little milk to spill. “Actually, can you grab me the towel?” You pointed to the hand towel sitting on the foot of the bed.

Javier closed the distance between the two of you, snatching the towel off the bed and passing it to you. “How are you feeling?”

You rolled your eyes, “Like shit.” You wiped off your breast, sitting the towel aside as you gestured to the full bottle. “Can you throw it away? I don’t want to see it.”

“Of course,” He said softly, leaning down to kiss the top of your head, before taking the bottle into the bathroom to get rid of it.

It was fucking defeating.

“Are the stitches still bothering you?” Javier questioned as he stepped back into the bedroom with the empty bottle.

You shrugged, hooking the machine back up to finish pumping your left breast. “They’re itchy.”

Javier hesitantly perched on the edge of the bed, reaching out to rest his hand on your leg. “That means they’re healing.” He reminded you.

“I know.” You nodded slowly as you watched the milk drip into the bottle. “I hate this, Javi.”

He squeezed your leg, “You still gonna try to hold out until you can breastfeed?”

“I don’t know,” You admitted, chewing on your bottom lip. You hated feeling weak and this shit made you feel like you were frail and stupid. Crying over not being able to feed your child. No one understood. “We’ll see.”

“I’m, uh… I’m sorry for barging in.” Javier said quietly, his brows drawn together as he looked down at where his hand was resting on your leg. “I should’ve knocked.”

“It’s fine.” You told him with a tightlipped smile. “It’s not really that big of a deal.” You reached down to catch his hand, giving it a little squeeze. “The beach sounds nice. Even if I don’t go, you and your dad should go. He’s been cooped up here for too long.”

“He’s gonna stay another week,” Javier informed, his jaw working slowly as he looked down at where your hands were. “Then he’ll be out of our hair and things can go back to normal.”

Normal.

Did you even remember what normal was? Had you felt like this with Josie? You didn’t think you had — you hadn’t exactly had the privilege of falling apart when you were in Colombia.

What was normal?

“Yeah.” You nodded, sitting up a little straighter then as you held out the second filled bottle, “Do you mind?”

“Of course not.” Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth and took the bottle from you. He was in the bathroom longer this time — quiet.

When he emerged with the rinsed out bottle, his eyes looked red, but you didn’t have the energy to care. You barely had the energy to care about anything these days.

“You gonna stay in here?” Javier questioned, shifting anxiously from foot-to-foot as he stood at the end of the bed, not quite meeting your gaze.

“I need my heating pad.” You answered, sliding your legs over the side of the bed, wiggling your toes as you pressed your feet to the floor. “I’ll come out there.”

Javier pulled open the door and held it open for you as you wrapped your throw around your shoulders and made your way towards him.

“Hey,” You whispered, stopping in front of him.

“Yeah?” He arched a brow.

“I love you.” You told him gently, reaching out to brush your knuckles against his cheek, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips, before making your way out the door.

“Mommy!” Josie cheered, as you stepped into the family room. “Sissy burped big!”

“Did she?” You laughed softly, summoning as much enthusiasm as you could for her benefit. “Did your abuelo feed her good?”

You caught sight of the wary look Chucho gave Javier as his eyes shifted between the two of you. But he was quick to put whatever that was aside when he met your gaze.

“She ate like a prize calf,” He remarked, cradling her to his chest as she fussed at the new commotion in the family room. “How are you feeling, chica?”

You sank down on the sofa and adjusted the heating pad over your stomach, “Cramping.” You offered with a shrug. “And tired.”

“Can I kiss it better?” Josie asked innocently as she crouched down next to the sofa.

“It might work,” You intoned, playing with her curls.

“O-Tay, mommy!” Josie leaned over you and pressed a kiss to your stomach. “All better!”

You smiled at her and echoed, “All better!”

Josie giggled, before prancing across the family room to the armchair where Chucho was sitting. “Sissy! You gots to get bigger so you’re more fun.”

You tilted your head to look behind you, catching Javier’s gaze. You wished you knew what was going on behind those stormy looks, but you weren’t certain you could stomach more guilt. You knew it wasn’t fair to make him bottle it all up — but you couldn’t do it.

Javier rested his hand on the arm of the sofa, leaning over you.

“What are you doing?” You laughed, a genuine laugh that made your heart warm. You reached up and played your fingers through his hair. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He breathed out as he peppered a line of soft kisses along your jaw, before his breath warmed your cheek by your ear. “I love you too.” Javier murmured and you swore you felt a tear slide down his cheek and land on yours, before it fell into your hair.

——

“How was the beach?” You questioned sleepily as the bathroom light cut into the darkness of the bedroom and woke you up.

“Good.” Javier offered, shutting off the light and making his way through the darkness. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s alright.” You assured him, rubbing at your eyes as they adjusted to the lack of light. “What time is it?”

“Just after nine.” He answered as the bed dipped behind you. “I fed Sofía.”

You reached out and ran your hand down his back, “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Javier sighed heavily and you listened to the sound of his watch dropping onto the nightstand, before he settled down on the bed beside you. “How was your evening alone?”

“I got two children cleaned, dressed, and down before eight.” You grinned, even though he couldn’t see you. “An achievement.” You stretched your leg out beneath the covers, running your foot along his calf. “What’d you do?”

“Let Stevie run around the beach,” He explained, shifting closer to you. “Took pops down to the icecream shop on the boardwalk.”

“Ohh. Now you’re making me sad I didn’t go.” You shifted closer to him too, draping your arm over his chest.

“It was good.” Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Pops used to take me out on this one stretch of road when we had our serious talks. Beach doesn’t have the same feel.”

Your heart clenched in your chest. “Is Chucho alright?” You remembered all the times Javier used to talk about those long talks with his father.

“Hmm?” Javier sniffed. “Yeah, he’s good. Fucker’s gonna outlive both of us and the girls, I bet.”

“Oh.” You chewed on your bottom lip. “Well that’s good.”

Javier curled his fingers around your hand, squeezing it three short times. “There’s nothing to worry about, baby. We just used the time to talk. Father to son.”

“That’s good.” You mustered up just enough conviction in your voice to mask the way your nerves were settling in. You remembered Javier telling you about the time Chucho took him out on a drive to talk about how foolish he was for asking Lorraine to marry him.

Were you some mistake Chucho wanted to lecture him on? The thought didn’t make sense — you were pretty sure Chucho liked you more than Javier. But those fears still crept into your mind, nevertheless.

“I bet Stevie enjoyed getting two hours of free beach access.”

Javier hummed in agreement, “She crashed on her bed as soon as we got home.”

You smiled to yourself as you molded your body against the side of his, wanting that skin-to-skin contact wherever you could get it. To hold onto him as tight as you could.

“Javier?”

“Hmm?” He ran his hand down your back. “What is it, baby?”

“We’re good, right?” You whispered so quietly you weren’t sure if he could even hear you or not.

Javier pulled you in even closer to him, wrapping both of his arms around you. “Of course we are, baby.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead at your hairline. “You should go back to sleep. Two will get here soon.”

“Yeah.” You breathed out, pressing your face into the crook of his neck. How were you supposed to sleep, now that you had something new to worry about?

But even then, those worries felt muted in comparison to everything else.

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader

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misty-doodles · 4 years

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I'll never say: Chapter 2

Ship: Tord x tom x matt x edd, Paul x Patryck.

Warning: Triggering content, mild gore

Edd woke with a dazed feeling. His throat burned and his whole body felt heavy. Opening his eyes, he found himself tied to a chair. He was sitting at a table, tom, and matt on either side. 'What's going on? How did I get here?' Edd thought to himself, looking around the room for a possible exit. The walls and floor were a dark grey color and there was one single iron door.

"What the hell…?" Tom groaned. Edd turned back to the table. Tom looked confused and slightly irritated.

"Tom!" Edd gasped "You're awake!"

"Yeah edd, where are we?" Tom murmured.

"I… I don't know" edd said.

"My face…" matt said suddenly, startling both edd and tom.

"Matt! You scared us" edd said.

"Why is that the first thing you said?" Tom asked in an exasperated tone.

"I don't know! Is my face okay though?"

"Yeah, its fine" edd shook his head. Suddenly the door opened and a young woman walked in. She had short black hair pulled into a high ponytail, a black hoodie, dark grey high-waisted jeans, and black combat boots. She sat down in the chair across from edd.

"So, you're finally awake. Took ya long enough" she chuckled.

"Who the hell are you?! Why are we here?" Tom spat.

"Where are we?" Edd added.

"My my, you sure ask a lot of questions. At least one thing about tord is he's rather silent." she smirked, seeming to enjoy provoking the men.

"You- DID YOU HURT HIM?" edd shouted, scaring matt and tom as they'd never seen him so angry. Just being near her made his blood boil.

"So you do care for him. Hmm, I guess it's only fair I answer your questions before I ask my own. My name is tay, and you are currently in the black army's questioning room. I'll get to why you're here in a moment."

"What makes you think we'll answer your questions??" Tom growled.

"Because I know you care for tord," they stiffened, waiting to see what she'd say. "And I know you'd be oh so upset if tord were to, how do I put this, be so injured it'd destroy any life he ever had." She had a dark look on her face.

"We'll answer your dumb questions!" Tom said lowly, eyes flashing purple. Tay didn't miss this but didn't comment.

"Just please don't hurt tord!" Matt pleaded.

"Let me ask you this, what is Tord to you all? Answer truthfully." She said in a serious tone.

"He's our…" Edd hesitated. Did he really want to be the reason tord suffered more pain? "He's our boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? All of you?" Tay snorted. Edd felt rage rush through him and an insult was on the tip of his tongue.

"Shut up! Our relationship is perfectly fine!" This time it was Matt who yelled, again startling his lovers. Even tay seemed surprised for a moment, but a sadistic grin suddenly appeared.

"I wouldn't have taken you as an intimidating person, but you seemed to do just fine. I wonder what I could do with you…" she murmured. It seemed like she was talking to herself but due to the nature of the room, everyone heard.

"If you so much as lay a finger on him I swear I'll-" Tom was interrupted by tay.

"QUIET! I wouldn't go around threatening people who have far more control. I have to deal with your 'dearly beloved' later and if you want him back in one piece then its best not to put me in a bad mood." Tom looked like he wanted to object but instead held back. "Good"

"What do you want from us? From tord?" Edd asked. It took a lot in him not to raise his voice.

"Simple, I want to know the location of the Red Army's bases. With this knowledge, we can purge them and rid the world of their pathetic existence. Tord knows this and we are going to get it. I simply captured you because I know tord care about you. You being here will hopefully be enough. Tord should know by now we aren't holding back."

"You're a monster!" Edd growled.

"So is Tord." Tay stood, smiling evilly. "Now if you excuse me I'll be off. I have someone else I must see. Ta ta!" With that, she was gone. That pink familiar gas filled the air and soon the three of them passed out.

Tord woke, blinking to clear away the post-sleep blur. He was lying on the cold stone floor. "Good morning princesses." Said a young woman who went by the name of tay. Tord's head shot up and he stared for a moment in fear

"What…?" Tord murmured tiredly.

"I see your friend gave you his hoodie. Must be cozy, it's a shame it won't last long" Tay smirked. Adrenaline rushed through his body as he remembered the blue hoodie that hung off his thin frame.

"He's not my friend!" Tord said. It was a lie, tom was more than just a friend to tord. But tay could never know that.

"So red leader, what do those men mean to you?" Tay asked.

"Nothing. They mean nothing to me." Tord lied. It was for their own good. He shakily sat up, ignoring the pain.

"Oh? Is that so? We asked them and apparently, they're quite close to you" She smirked evilly. When had they talked to them? What did she mean by close? If she knew that meant….

"I… I lied to them, I never cared." Tord said in a dead tone. He may be a good liar, but three against one was hard to match.

"I think that's a lie…" tay said, leaning in closer to the scarred male. Tords eyes widen in surprise and he prayed his face didn't reveal how terrified he was.

"You-"

"I see that look in your eyes, you can lie all you want but your eyes will always tell me the truth." Tay said, giggling maniacally.

"Shut up!" He snapped.

"Tsk, tsk" she clicked her tongue. "When will you learn Larsøn? I'm in control here. I guess I'll have to teach you a lesson" A wide smile appeared on her face. She took a step back and disappeared into the darkness, only to return with a shiny metal bat.

"What are... What are you doing? " tord asked, breath picking up. Tay twirled the bat like one would a baton, a smile ever present on her face. She tossed it up in the air before catching it and holding high above her shoulder.

"Don't worry Larsøn, it'll all be over soon" With that, she brought the bat down on his leg, a sickening crack sounding. Tord screamed out in agony. Tay did it again, and again, blood splattering everywhere. She moved on to his right arm, hitting it again and again until it was almost impossible to tell it had been an arm.

"Stop! Stop please!" Tord wailed, shaking his head back and forth. Of course she didn't listen, hitting his gut. It wasn't as hard but it was still painful. Toms blue hoodie was splotched with deep reds and purples.

"Black and blue suits you. I feel bad for, tom was it? His hoodie won't last this playtime" She said, dropping the bat with a loud clunk. Tord whimpered softly, tears staining his pale and bloodied skin. He just wanted to go home, curl up in his parent's arms and let them protect him from the world's dangers like the childhood he knew so well. Paul and Patryck were probably worried sick, and despite what he was told Tord knew they were looking far and wide for their son. He was tired, so tired. Tord's eyelids grew heavy.

"Don't fall asleep yet, we still have the main event!" Tay cackled, stabbing tord with a syringe filled with a blue liquid. With a gasp, Tords eyes flew open as a rush of energy pumped through his veins. The only thing that stopped him from moving away from the crazed girl in front of him was the pain the bloomed everywhere on his body. There was a loud thump of heavy boots against the stone floor before a man entered the room. He had brown hair brushed to the side and unique black eyes. He wore an outfit similar to tay's, black baggy shirt, black jeans, and black combat boots.

"T-Tim?" Tord croaked. Tim was Tom's older brother, and tord could never imagine him working here. Tim gave him a sad smile.

"I'm sorry. I really wish things were different…" was all he said, scooping tord up in his arms and walking alongside Tay. So Tim was captured too? How many people's lives were they willing to ruin just to break him? So many people were being put through hell, and it was all his fault. Tord was snapped from his thoughts as he was thrown onto his bed, jostling his arm. He let out a scream of pain and looked up quickly to his torture. Tay had a sadistic grin on her face, In her hand a simple hammer.

Tim grabbed him and shoved him up against the wall, holding him there and stretching out his left arm. Tay grabbed a thick nail a few inches in length and placed the tip to Tords forearm. His eyes widen as realization dawned on him "No, no no no no no nono–" tord's pleas were interrupted by his own violent screams. Tay hammered the nail deep into his flesh, her laughter filling the air along with Tords screams of pain.

Once she was satisfied tords arm was nailed onto the wall, leaving him in pain as he was forced to hold it up so the nail wouldn't rip through his flesh. Tay wasn't done though. No, she was far from it. She grabbed another nail and did it again, this one a few inches away from the first. She did it again and again until there were at least 12 nails holding up his left arm. She did the same thing to his right arm, commenting on his screaming offhandedly. Finally, she was done and got off the bed to take a look at her work.

"Let's go, we have things to do" she giggled almost psychotically. She tossed the hammer over her shoulder, it bouncing and falling behind the bed. She left the room and it was only then tord realized he was alone. Where were they? What did they do to his boyfriends? Were they hurt? This only made Tord sob harder. He couldn't handle the thought of being the reason the loves of his life died.

The door to his room opened the three men he didn't recognize entered, carrying the three aforementioned men he'd just been worrying over. They were all placed in their beds and the men left as quickly as they came, sliding a medical box between the wall and Edd's bed. They still looked to be peacefully sleeping but Tord didn't care. If someone didn't get him down this instant he was sure he'd die of pain and blood loss.

"Help! Help Please please I can't -" Tord gasped, finding it hard to get the words out. His throat felt tight and he could hardly breathe, let alone talk. "I can't take it. Please, it hurts, F-fuck! Im sorry, I'm so sorry please help me. Edd, Tom, Matt!" He screamed out in desperate hope. Thankfully fate seemed to pity him at this moment, as he shouts awoke all three men, and they immediately looked to him

"Tord! What the hell?" Edd screamed as he jumped up and raced over, tom and matt right by his side. He looked absolutely horrified and at a loss on what to do. His beautiful green eyes were wet with tears

"Tordy!" Matt cried, tears welling up in his crystal blue eyes. He looked around to try and find a solution. The hammer! They didn't know…

"Hammer, its.. its under the bed. Get it, please hurry up!" Tord said, pain and sobs making it difficult to speak. Edd nodded and quickly retrieved the object in question, cringing at the dried blood that caked its surface.

"Don't worry tord! We'll get you… We'll get you down I promise" edd stammered weakly. He looked on the verge of a breakdown but forced himself to remain strong for Tord's sake. He really didn't deserve them in his life. Edd stood on the bed, moving to Tord's left and taking Matt's overcoat to use as leverage. Tord bit his tongue and focused on matt, who was on his knees in front of him and gently holding on to him. It was comforting, and tord took in Matt's scent of strawberries.

"Did that girl do this to you?" Tom asked. Tord nodded, unable to make himself talk. All that left his mouth were wails of agony. He didn't know what hurt more; having nails hammered into his arms or having them pulled out.

"Shh, it's gonna be alright," Matt said softly, running his hand through messy brown hair. He tried to focus on the feeling, his nails scratching his scalp. Even so, he couldn't ignore edd prying out another nail, it fell to the bed and joining the pile of the others. Matt murmured soft words of reassurance and comfort but it did nothing for the bleeding communist.

He hummed an unfamiliar tone, and while Tord may not have known what the ginger was humming he did know he liked it and would have to ask him about it on a later date. He desperately wanted to cling onto him, to hold onto to him like a frightened child would do to their parents. But his arms were unusable and even the thought of moving them had him trembling. With a groan, edd pulled the last nail from his arm, it falling limply to his side. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly. It hurt. Everything hurt so much he didn't know if he'd survive. People died of shock all the time.

"Shit! He's losing blood, fast!" Edd said. Tord cracked open his only working eyes to see edd panicking. He lifted his head and mustered up what little strength he had left.

"Box... First- first-aid box by…" tord hung his head, sobbing pitifully. He couldn't get the words out, pain numbing every working part of his brain. He could hardly hold himself up anymore but wasn't ready to rip his arm off.

"By? By where? Tord I need you to tell us" edd practically begged. He looked desperate, and he was crying as if he was experiencing tord's pain.

"Edds bed… be- between the wall… Please just get me down…" tords speech slurred. He was losing his will to fight and his eyes drooped dangerously. Edd nodded and rushed over to find it.

"Tord, babe, I need you to stay with us okay? You need to stay awake." Tom had a worried look on his face as he spoke, using a soft voice usually reserved for late-night talks. 'Talk to us, okay? I know it's hard but talk to us" Edd returned with a white box and pulled out a roll of gauze and alcohol. He poured the alcohol over Tord's arm while matt comforted him. He kept him up so the nails wouldn't rip his arm.

"It hurts... It hurts… It feels like it's tearing through my arm. It feels like my arms the only thing holding me up. I can't take it anymore. I… I" Tord sobbed louder, unable to utter another word. He just wanted to die, crawl into a ditch and never leave. Tord wasn't ready to face the world anymore, he was only 24. Barely even an adult. Edd began to apply the bandages.

"Don't think about that honey, try to focus on something else…" Matt soothed. Tord tried to calm his breathing but it was difficult since edd had started on his other arm.

"Remember that time we went on our anniversary date and bought edd a cola with his name on it?" Tom said. It seemed he was trying to stir some good memories.

"Yeah- yeah I remember that. He was so happy I thought he was gonna explode" tord giggled softly, which was followed by a scream as edd pulled out another nail. His voice was horse at this point.

"I was so happy that day" edd murmured softly. All his focus was going into tord and he seemed a bit hesitant to speak.

"Yeah, tord was blushing like crazy.." Tom said in what appeared to be a teasing manner. Tord had to appreciate him for it.

"Edd's really cute when he's excited" tord bit his lip, more tears streaming down his face and copper filling his mouth from how hard he'd been biting. "Like a... Like a puppy.." His Silver eyes drifted to his arm, watching in horror as edd pried at another nail. The sight of blood and his own bruised and mangled flesh making him feel sick. Tord breathing began to quicken and he wasn't entirely sure why the sight had affected him so badly. All he knew was that he was hyperventilating and his sobs became loud and gut-wrenching.

"Hey, hey look at me." Matt said quickly. "Focus on me and tom okay? Don't look at what Edd's doing."

"Yeah, look at us, it'll all be over soon," Tom said. That was the wrong thing to say as tord shrieked, shaking his head wildly and banging it against the wall several times until matt stopped him, placing his hand behind his head to prevent any damage. Edd and Matt were both shocked and tom was just trying to figure out what he'd done wrong.

"Tom! What did you do?!" Edd cried out.

"I don't know what happened!" Tom said. He had tears in his eyes and a look of guilt was written on his face.

"I'm almost done, just two more" edd groaned. He worked as fast as possible, pulling out the bloody nails a little more roughly than he should have. It didn't matter though because it was his last one. "Done!"

Tord collapsed limply into Matt's arms, body trembling as he gasped and cried helplessly. After he removed the now damaged hoodie, Edd quickly rinsed out his wounds and bandaged them. He sat down next to matt. "Shh, shh it's okay now. You're safe now, we're here." Matt mumbled softly. Tord wailed in response, clearly in his own worlds of pain. It was hard to tell what tord was going through but all they knew was it wasn't good. Tom leaned against Matt's shoulder, grabbing Tord's left hand gently and cradling it within his own.

After 10 minutes of calming words and a warm embrace tord finally calmed down. His breathing returned to a normal pace and he snuggled closer to his ridiculously tall boyfriend. His eyes fell upon the now stained and ripped hoodie. "Sorry bout your hoodie tom" tord whimpered tiredly.

"It's fine tord, it's not your fault anyway." Tom said. Edd smiled, removing his own hoodie and offering it to tord. He looked startled at the fabric.

"But I might mess it up.." Tord said. Edd only smiled.

"I don't care, just take it. I don't want you to be cold" edd said sternly. Tord sighed in defeat and allowed edd to put the hoodie over him. It was big on his thin body, but it still provided him with that warmth and safety he couldn't have. The sweet smell of cola enveloped him and he went back to cuddling matt

"There, see? All better…" Matt smiled.

"All better" tord repeated. His eyes drooped but he fought to keep them open. Fear of worrying his boyfriend overriding his need for sleep.

"It's okay now, go to sleep. We'll be here…" tom said gently, brushing a strand of caramel hair out of tord's face. Tord was really in no place to object, so he simply subcame to the calling of sleep.

_______

3 months ago

"GODDAMNIT!" Patryck screamed, slumping over and tugging roughly on his hair. He failed! He not only failed at his job as Red Leader's right-hand man but as his parent. In just a few moments everything was ripped from him. "H-he's gone… Tord's gone and we may never see him again!" Patryck's voice cracked with emotion.

"Don't talk like that!" Paul pulled him closer and Patryck could see those Silver eyes wet with tears. "We're going to get our son back. Fuck, our son is going to be fine!"

"He's been kidnapped by the black army, the strongest army to ever exist! Tord is bleeding out and so broken he didn't even put up a fight!" Patryck sobbed loudly, staring aimlessly at the burning pile of rubble. As much as he wanted to believe tord would get out of this the rational part of his brain told him the chances were very low.

"Patryck!" Golden eyes met grey. Paul looked extremely hurt and Patryck felt bad for making him this upset. "Tord is the strongest person I know, and I KNOW he won't just kick the bucket. S-so we're going back to the base, fixing ourselves, and finding our child" determination burned behind those pretty Silver eyes. Patryck nodded slowly, picking himself off the ground. He had a hand pressed firmly over the bleeding gun wound in his stomach.

Paul helped him to the car and messily wrapped his abdomen in gauze before jumping in the driver's seat and speeding off. Patryck forced back any tears and put on a stone-cold face. He couldn't afford to show any weakness. "It's going to be okay"

"I know that. I'm going to make sure we find him" Patryck said. He kept his eyes straight forward. Paul spared a worried glance his way. Finally, they arrived at the London base and made their way to the infirmary. The nurse didn't ask any questions, just grabbed a few medical supplies and ushered them over to two available cots. She was quick in bandaging up their wounds. Once fixed, the two men hurried out.

"Patryck…" Paul mumbled in a slightly worried tone.

"Gather our strongest men, we will start our search tomorrow morning. We shall meet in sector A meeting room in 20 minutes.." Patryck said. His face was blank and his voice was emotionless.

"Of course." Paul sighed. They walked their separate ways.

#eddmatt #eddmatttomtord #eddtord #eddsworld #ew edd #ew tom #ew tord #tord #tom #edd #matt #angst #tomtord #nails #gore warning #blood #paul #patryck #paultryk

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hlupdate · 5 years

Link

A handshake can quell political unrest and stifle impending war. It can, with a bit of spit, validate a gentleman’s agreement, end a years-long romantic relationship or send a young heart racing. But it all depends on the two parties involved.

Daisy, 21, felt a seismic jolt when Harry Styles, 25, wearing a striped jumper and rings on three of his five fingers, clutched her hand two days after this year’s Met Gala in New York, when she served him gelato at the shop where she worked.

“He decided on a small mint chocolate gelato and I made his and the one for his friend and I said, ‘Can I just say I absolutely loved your Met Gala look’ and he said ‘Thank you very much! What’s your name?’ And I said, ‘Daisy’ AND HE FUCKING EXTENDED HISHAND AND REACHED TO SHAKE MY HAND AND I ACTUALLY FUCKINGSHOOK HIS HAND WHAT THE FUCK,” she wrote on Instagram after The Shakening. “Like I didn’t even say anything to gas him up besides ‘I loved your met gala look’ and his fine ass went and shook my hand! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING HUMAN BEINGTHAT HE IS GOD BLESS HIM AND I HOPE HW [sic] LIVES FOREVER.”

For Harry Styles, a handshake can be a romantic gesture, conjuring a potent reverence in its recipient, like the time he met Gucci’s creative director Alessandro Michele. “He was as attractive as James Dean and as persuasive as Greta Garbo. He was like a Luchino Visconti character, like an Apollo: at the same time sexy as a woman, as a kid, as a man,” Michele told me, hastening to add: “Of course, Harry is not aware of this.”

No, Styles has no idea the power he wields. In person, he’s towering, like someone who is not that much taller but whose reputation adds four inches. Styles has a sedative baritone, spoken in a rummy northern English accent, that tumbles out so slowly you forget the name of your first born, a swagger that has been nursed and perfected in mythical places with names like Paisley Park, or Abbey Road, or Graceland. Makes complete sense that he would be up for the role of Elvis Presley in Baz Luhrmann’s upcoming biopic. He was primed, nay, born to shake his hips, all but one button on his shirt clinging for dear life around his torso. Then the part was awarded to another actor, Austin Butler.

“[Elvis] was such an icon for me growing up,” Styles tells me. “There was something almost sacred about him, almost like I didn’t want to touch him. Then I ended up getting into [his life] a bit and I wasn’t disappointed,” he adds of his initial research and preparations to play The King. He seems relaxed about losing the part to Butler. “I feel like if I’m not the right person for the thing, then it’s best for both of us that I don’t do it, you know?”

Styles released his self-titled debut solo album in May 2017. The boyband grad was clearly uninterested in hollowing out the charts with more formulaic meme pop. Instead, to the surprise of many, he dug his heels into retro-fetishist West Coast ’70s rock. Some of the One Direction fan-hordes might have been confused, but no matter: Harry Styles sold one million copies.

Despite its commercial and critical success, he didn’t tour the album right away. He wanted to act in the Christopher Nolan film Dunkirk. To his credit, his portrayal of a British soldier cowering in a moored boat on the French beaches as the Nazis advanced wasn’t skewered in the press like the movie debuts of, say, Madonna or Justin Timberlake. Perhaps he was following advice given by Elton John, who had urged him to diversify. “He was brilliant in Dunkirk, which took a lot of people by surprise,” John writes in an email. “I love how he takes chances and risks.” Acting, unlike music, is a release for Styles; it’s the one time he can be not himself.

“Why do I want to act? It’s so different to music for me,” he says, suddenly animated. “They’re almost opposite for me. Music, you try and put so much of yourself into it; acting, you’re trying to totally disappear in whoever you’re being.”

Following the news that he missed out on Presley, his name was floated for the role of Prince Eric in Disney’s live-action remake of The Little Mermaid. However, fans will have to wait a bit longer to see Styles on the big screen as that idea, too, has sunk. He won’t be The King or the Prince. “It was discussed,” he acknowledges before swiftly changing the subject. “I want to put music out and focus on that for a while. But everyone involved in it was amazing, so I think it’s going to be great. I’ll enjoy watching it, I’m sure.”

The new album is wrapped and the single is decided upon. “It’s not like his last album,” his friend, rock ‘n’ roll legend Stevie Nicks, told me recently over the phone. “It’s not like anything One Direction ever did. It’s pure Harry, as Harry would say. He’s made a very different record and it’s spectacular.”

Beyond that, Styles is keeping his cards close to his chest as to his next musical move. However, the air is thick with rumours that his main wingman for HS2 is Kid Harpoon, aka Tom Hull, who co-wrote debut album track Sweet Creature. No less an authority than Liam Gallagher told us that both big band escapees were in the same studio – RAK in north-west London – at the same time making their second solo albums. Styles played him a couple of tracks, “and I tell you what, they’re good,” Gallagher enthused. “A bit like that Bon Iver. Is that his name?”

Harry Styles met Nicks at a Fleetwood Mac concert in Los Angeles in April 2015. Something about him felt authentic to the legendary frontwoman: grounded, like she’d known him forever, blessed with a winning moonshot grin. A month later, they met backstage at another Mac gig, this time at the O2 in London. Styles brought a carrot cake for Nicks’ birthday, her name piped in icing on top. By her own admission, Nicks doesn’t even celebrate birthdays, so this was a surprise. “He was personally responsible for me actually having to celebrate my birthday, which was very sweet,” she says.

Styles’ relationship with Nicks is hard to define. Inducting her into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in New York as a solo artist earlier this year, his speech hymned her as a “magical gypsy godmother who occupies the in-between”. She’s called him her “lovechild” with Mick Fleetwood and the “son I never had”. Both have moved past the preliminary chat acknowledging each other’s unquantifiable talents and smoothly accelerated towards playful cut-and-thrust banter of a witch mom and her naughty child.

They perform together – he sings The Chainand Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around; she sings the one allegedly written about Taylor Swift, Two Ghosts. One of those performances was at the Gucci Cruise afterparty in Rome in May, for “a lot of money”, Nicks tells me, in a “big kind of castle place”. She has become his de facto mentor – one phone call is all it takes to reach the Queen of Rock’n’Roll for advice on sequencing (“She is really good at track listing,” Styles admits) or just to hear each other’s voices… because, well, wouldn’t you?

Following another Fleetwood Mac concert, at London’s Wembley Stadium, in June, Nicks met Styles for a late (Indian) dinner. He then invited her back to his semi-detached Georgian mansion in north London for a listening party at midnight. The album – HS2or whatever it’ll be called – was finished. Nicks, her assistant Karen, her make-up artist and her friends Jess and Mary crammed onto Styles’ living-room couch. They listened to it once through in silence like a “bunch of educated monks or something in this dark room”. Then once again, 15 or 16 tracks, this time each of his guests offering live feedback. It wrapped at 5am, just as the sun was bleeding through the curtains.

Even for a pop star of Styles’ stature, pressing “play” on a deeply personal work for your hero to digest, watching her face react in real time to your new music, must be… what?

“It’s a double-edged thing,” he replies. “You’re always nervous when you are playing people music for the first time. You’ve heard it so much by this point, you forget that people haven’t heard it before. It’s hard to not feel like you’ve done what you’ve set out to do. You are happy with something and then someone who you respect so much and look up to is, like: ‘I really like this.’ It feels like a large stamp [of approval]. It’s a big step towards feeling very comfortable with whatever else happens to it.”

Wading through Styles’ background info is exhausting, since he was spanked by fame in the social media era where every goddam blink of a kohl-rimmed eye has been documented from six angles. (And yes, he does sometimes wear guyliner.)

Deep breath: born in Redditch, Worcestershire, to parents Des and Anne, who divorced when he was seven. Grew up in Holmes Chapel in Cheshire with his sister Gemma, mum and stepdad Robin Twist. Rode horses at a nearby stable for free (“I was a bad rider, but I was a rider”). Stopped riding, “got into different stuff”. Formed a band, White Eskimo, with schoolmates. Aged 16, tried out for the 2010 run of The X Factorwith a stirring but average rendition of Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t She Lovely. Cut from the show and put into a boy band with four others, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik, and called One Direction. Became internationally famous, toured the globe. Zayn quit to go solo. Toured some more. Dated but maybe didn’t date Caroline Flack, Rita Ora and Taylor Swift – whom he reportedly dumped in the British Virgin Islands. (This relationship, if nothing else, yielded an iconic, candid shot of Swift looking dejected, being motored back to shore on the back of a boat called the Flying Ray.) One Direction discussed disbanding in 2014, actually dissolved in 2015. They remain friendly, and Styles officially went solo in 2016.

It’s been two years since his eponymous debut and lead single, Sign of the Times, shocked the world and Elton John with its swaggering, soft rock sound. “It came out of left field and I loved it,” John says.

After 89 arena-packed shows across five continents grossed him, the label, whomever, over $61 million, Styles had all but disappeared. He has emerged only intermittently for public-facing events – a Gucci afterparty performance here, a Met Gala co-chairing there. He relocated from Los Angeles back to London, selling his Hollywood Hills house for $6million and shipping his Jaguar E-type across the Atlantic so he could take joyrides on the M25.

“I’m not over LA,” he insists when I ask about the move. “My relationship with LAchanged a lot. What I wanted from LA changed.”

A great escape, he would agree, is sometimes necessary. He was in Tokyo for most of January, having nearly finished his album. “I needed time to get out of that album frame-of-mind of: ‘Is it finished? Where am I at? What’s happening?’ I really needed that time away from everyone. I was kind of just in Tokyo by myself.” His sabbatical mostly involved reading Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, singing Nirvana at karaoke, writing alone in his hotel room, listening to music and eavesdropping on strangers in alien conversation. “It was just a positive time for my head and I think that impacted the album in a big way.”

During this break he watched a lot of films, read a lot of books. Sometimes he texts these recommendations to his pal Michele at Gucci. He told Michele to watch the Ali Macgraw film, Love Story. “We text what friends text about. He is the same [as me] in terms of he lives in his own world and he does his own thing. I love dressing up and he loves dressing up.”

Because he loves dressing up, Michele chose Styles to be the face of three Gucci Tailoring campaigns and of its new genderless fragrance, Mémoire d’une Odeur.

“The moment I met him, I immediately understood there was something strong around him,” Michele tells me. “I realised he was much more than a young singer. He was a young man, dressed in a thoughtful way, with uncombed hair and a beautiful voice. I thought he gathered within himself the feminine and the masculine.”

Fashion, for Styles, is a playground. Something he doesn’t take too seriously. A couple of years ago Harry Lambert, his stylist since 2015, acquired for him a pair of pink metallic Saint Laurent boots that he has never been photographed wearing. They are exceedingly rare – few pairs exist. Styles wears them “to get milk”. They are, in his words, “super-fun”. He’s not sure, but he has, ballpark, 50 pairs of shoes, as well as full closets in at least three postcodes. He settles on an outfit fairly quickly, maybe changes his T-shirt once before heading out, but mostly knows what he likes.

What he may not fully comprehend is that simply by being photographed in a garment he can spur the career of a designer, as he has with Harris Reed, Palomo Spain, Charles Jeffrey, Alled-Martínez and a new favourite, Bode. Styles wore a SS16 Gucci floral suit to the 2015 American Music Awards. When he was asked who made his suit on the red carpet, Gucci began trending worldwide on Twitter.

“It was one of the first times a male wore Alessandro’s runway designs and, at the time, men were not taking too many red carpet risks,” says Lambert. “Who knows if it influenced others, but it was a special moment. Plus, it was fun seeing the fans dress up in suits to come see Harry’s shows.”

Yet traditional gender codes of dress still have the minds of middle America in a chokehold. Men can’t wear women’s clothes, say the online whingers, who have labelled him “tragic”, “a clown” and a Bowie wannabe. Styles doesn’t care. “What’s feminine and what’s masculine, what men are wearing and what women are wearing – it’s like there are no lines any more.”

Elton John agrees: “It worked for Marc Bolan, Bowie and Mick. Harry has the same qualities.”

Then there is the question of Styles’ sexuality, something he has admittedly “never really started to label”, which will plague him until he does. Perhaps it’s part of his allure. He’s brandished a pride flag that read “Make America Gay Again” on stage, and planted a stake somewhere left of centre on sexuality’s rainbow spectrum.

“In the position that he’s in, he can’t really say a lot, but he chose a queer girl band to open for him and I think that speaks volumes,” Josette Maskin of the queer band MUNA told The Face earlier this year.

“I get a lot of…” Styles trails off, wheels turning on how he can discuss sexuality without really answering. “I’m not always super-outspoken. But I think it’s very clear from choices that I make that I feel a certain way about lots of things. I don’t know how to describe it. I guess I’m not…” He pauses again, pivots. “I want everyone to feel welcome at shows and online. They want to be loved and equal, you know? I’m never unsupported, so it feels weird for me to overthink it for someone else.”

Sexuality aside, he must acknowledge that he has sex appeal. “The word ‘sexy’ sounds so strange coming out of my mouth. So I would say that that’s probably why I would not consider myself sexy.”

Harry Styles has emerged fully-formed, an anachronistic rock star, vague in sensibility but destined to impress with a disarming smile and a warm but firm handshake.

I recite to him a quote from Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders about her time atop rock’s throne: “I never got into this for the money or because I wanted to join in the superstar sex around the swimming pools. I did it because the offer of a record contract came along and it seemed like it might be more fun than being a waitress. Now, I’m not so sure.”

Styles – who worked in a bakery in a small northern town some time before playing to 40,000 screaming fans in South American arenas – must have witnessed some shit, been invited to a few poolside sex parties, in his time.

“I’ve seen a couple of things,” he nods in agreement. “But I’m still young. I feel like there’s still stuff to see.”

#harry styles #the face #050919

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stylesnews · 5 years

Text

The Face - Volume 4 . Issue 1

“He decided on a small mint chocolate gelato and I made his and the one for his friend and I said, ‘Can I just say I absolutely loved your Met Gala look’ and he said ‘Thank you very much! What’s your name?’ And I said, ‘Daisy’ AND HE FUCKING EXTENDED HIS HAND AND REACHEDTO SHAKE MY HAND AND I ACTUALLY FUCKING SHOOK HIS HAND WHAT THEFUCK,” she wrote on Instagram after The Shakening. “Like I didn’t even say anything to gas him up besides ‘I loved your met gala look’ and his fine ass went and shook my hand! WHATA BEAUTIFUL FUCKING HUMAN BEING THAT HE IS GOD BLESS HIM AND I HOPE HW[sic] LIVES FOREVER.”

They perform together – he sings The Chain and Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around; she sings the one allegedly written about Taylor Swift, Two Ghosts. One of those performances was at the Gucci Cruise afterparty in Rome in May, for “a lot of money”, Nicks tells me, in a “big kind of castle place”. She has become his de facto mentor – one phone call is all it takes to reach the Queen of Rock’n’Roll for advice on sequencing (“She is really good at track listing,” Styles admits) or just to hear each other’s voices… because, well, wouldn’t you?

Even for a pop star of Styles’ stature, pressing “play” on a deeply personal work for your hero to digest, watching her face react in real time to your new music, must be… what?

After 89 arena-packed shows across five continents grossed him, the label, whomever, over $61million, Styles had all but disappeared. He has emerged only intermittently for public-facing events – a Gucci afterparty performance here, a Met Gala co-chairing there. He relocated from Los Angeles back to London, selling his Hollywood Hills house for $6 million and shipping his Jaguar E-type across the Atlantic so he could take joyrides on the M25.

“I’m not over LA,” he insists when I ask about the move. “My relationship with LA changed a lot. What I wanted from LA changed.”

Because he loves dressing up, Michele chose Styles to be the face of three Gucci Tailoring campaigns and of its new genderless fragrance, Mémoire d’une Odeur.

Elton John agrees: “It worked for Marc Bolan, Bowie and Mick. Harry has the same qualities.”

Harry Styles has emerged fully-formed, an anachronistic rock star, vague in sensibility but destined to impress with a disarming smile and a warm but firm handshake.

Styles – who worked in a bakery in a small northern town some time before playing to 40,000screaming fans in South American arenas – must have witnessed some shit, been invited to a few poolside sex parties, in his time.

“I’ve seen a couple of things,” he nods in agreement. “But I’m still young. I feel like there’s still stuff to see.”

#theface19 #harry styles #sep19 #article

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thecorteztwins · 5 years

Note

"Hello stranger" (g o d I wanted to write Hewwo Stwanger,,,,,)

I have a pretty strong interest in Silhouette Chord of the New Warriors!

But I’m not really into the New Warriors as a whole, and I feel like I’d have to be to write her, since the majority of my mutuals would likely also be New Warriors for obvious reasons. Also, I’ve yet to get a really distinct personality from her issues yet? Of course as I’m writing that I’m like “well what about this time, that shows she’s such and so, and what about this time, which shows she values this and that…”Anyway. Silhouette has the power to manipulate and teleport through shadow. She was born with her powers, but she’s not a mutant. She and her twin brother, Aaron Chord aka Midnight’s Powers, were among the prophesized offspring of a troupe of a Vietnam soldiers who married and had children with a cult of Cambodian women who were the result of generations of selective breeding within a temple that was built on “Well of All Things” which was a site of raw, primal supernatural energy. This was all orchestrated by Sil’s own grandmother, Tai, the evil leader of the cult, who believed that a union between East and West would produce children capable of harnessing the power of the Well.And indeed, all the kids born between these soldiers and women had super-powers of various types.However, Sil and Aaron grew up knowing none of this. Their father brought his new bride back the United States, who gave birth to the twins there. Fearing that her wicked mother Tai would reach her even here and attempt to use her children, Miyami ran away from her husband, left the children hidden in Chinatown, and faked her own death. The twins grew up as orphans in the mean streets of New York, and became independent vigilantes who worked to take down drug-dealing gangs from within undercover. It was through these activities that they met the superhero Night Thrasher and allied with him. But this alliance ended when a sting went wrong and Silhouette ended up shot in the spine by a police officer, paralyzing her from the waist down. Hence her use of crutches, which she’s become a VERY capable fighter on.Aaron blamed Night Thrasher for what happened to his sister, and ended up becoming a criminal druglord himself in order to get to him. However, this only ended with Silhouette rejecting him as her twin, and joining up with Night Thrasher and the New Warriors as a superhero. It was during her adventures with the New Warriors that she discovered her past, the other children of the “Folding Circle” who had been born from Tai’s cult, and fought Tai herself, while carrying on a romance with Night Thrasher and then later his half-brother Bandit.So, I know her history pretty well, but I need to get a better bead on her personality, and I’m okay reading all her issues for that, but I don’t really want to bother with all the New Warriors stuff? I don’t dislike them, but X-Men and Inhumans are my area of focus and I pretty much stick with them.Still, something about her attracts me as a writer and I keep coming back to her/keeping her in my back pocket. Also, she’s half black, half Cambodia, and disabled, so I feel like she should be more popular just from a representation standpoint? I don’t know of any other Black/Asian heroes or anyone Cambodian AT ALL in Marvel besides her and the other Folding Circle kids. And as it happens I’m interested in learning more about Cambodian people and culture anyway! So yeah.

#littlemeangreen #silhouette chord

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parkersharthook · 6 years

Text

You Are Loved (Forever and Always)

(Hook!female!reader x OC!male) (Harry Hook x Evie Grimhilde)

Trigger Warnings: suicidal thoughts and actions

7k+ words

When the core four were given the option to leave the Isle and go to Auradon, Evie declined so she could stay with her boyfriend Harry Hook. She was an honorary member of Uma's crew and spent most of her time there. You're a year younger than your older brother Harry, though he's much less mature than you. You began dating another crew member a few months ago, the son of Yzma. You and Zymir were happy together but Harry made Zymir's life a living hell.

"Hey, ye finally dain?" I asked as I walked up to my boyfriend who was working on tying together some rope. He tightened the rope with a hard yank and set it back on the deck.

"Yep, just finished." He brushed his hands on his pants and stood up, now much taller than me. He put his arm around my shoulders and we began to walk off the main deck. Suddenly Zymir was pulled backwards by the collar of his shirt. He stumbled back and quickly regained his composure to come face to face with the first mate, Harry. My older brother.

"whaur dae ye hink yer gonnae?" Harry asked as he folded his arms over his chest.

Zymir tripped over his words, obviously intimidated by the older man. "We were jus goin to walk round the market." I stood behind my boyfriend glaring at my brother.

"nae yer nae." Harry smirked. I rolled my eyes at him and stepped forward to face him one on one.

"Harry lae heem aloyn. He did aw th' stupid busy work ye awreddy assigned fur heem." I argued while tapping my foot on the deck, irritated with Harry.

"noo Uma needs a fill in at th' shop an' guess who's gonna dae it?" He peered around my head to stare at Zymir.

I groaned loudly, "whit cannae ye do it Har? We hae a date." His eyes flickered to mine for a second before going back to Zymir's.

His eyes narrowed causing my boyfriend to gulp, "mair ay a reason fur heem tae dae it 'en, huh? Noo scat." Harry shooed Zymir away and I watched him scurry off the deck and towards the nearby restaurant. I whipped around to face Harry who stood there looking as smug as ever.

"Whit th' heel Harry?" I barked in his face causing him to frown at me.

"Ye shoodnae be wi' heem y/n. He's bad news!"

I scoffed, "Ay coorse he's bad news, he's a pirate! sae ur ye an' sae am ah!" Harry just shook his head at me and turned to walk away. But I noticed his calculated movements towards the barrel of swords.

"Anyways y/n/n ye shoods be trainin'." In a mere second he had grabbed a sword by its hilt, spun around, and tossed the sword to me. I didn't even blink as I it by its handle.

"ah awreddy trained fur hoors!" I whined.

Harry's smirk only grew, "'En ye shoods be prepared fur anythin'... loch thes." He grabbed at his own sword and was instantly in a fighting stance. I rolled my eyes once again at my dramatic brother and moved to walk away but his sword stopped me.

"Harry." I warned as I glanced to him annoyed. I once again moved to walk around him but just like before his sword came slicing in front of me, stopping my movements. I growled, "Harry..."

He snickered, "whit y/n? Somethin' wrang?" He loved teasing me, this was obvious. I inhaled a sharp breath and closed my eyes for a moment before trying to walk away one more time.

This time when the sword stopped my movements, my sword was instantly against his. I jumped into my fighting stance as well and suddenly we were off. He didn't hold back as his sharp blade swiped in all directions. For the most part I was on the defensive side as I blocked each attack and tried to break his footing. I was a good sword fighter but my brother was arguably better. I jumped onto the stairs behind me and was suddenly hunched over fighting downwards as my brother leaned up. You'd think I'd get the upper hand in this position but somehow my brother was in front of me, still matching my hits. He backed me up so I was pressed against the railing that overlooked the main deck.

He used his prize hook and sword to press my back further into the railing before he could grab the hilt from my hand and toss my sword to the deck below. I watched the blade fall and then angrily narrowed my eyes at my brother.

"Ye need tae be prepared y/n/n." He taunted, pointing the tip towards my neck. I noticed his unarmed positioning and quickly spun, bringing my heel up so it connected with his cheek. I heard the grunt come from him as he stumbled backwards. I didn't waste any time climbing onto the railing and jumping to grab a nearby rope to swing to the deck and pick up my own sword. I looked up to meet my brother's fiery gaze. He was mad. He jumped down from the upper deck and instantly attacked me again. His swings were stronger and more ferocious. But with my new sense of confidence I easily sparred with him. I even got a few good jabs and managed to land a small cut on his upper arm, though that was by accident.

I ducked out of the way of a high blow and then jumped at a low one so I stepped on his sword. He wiggled it slightly but my heavy boot kept it against the wood. I pointed my sword at him and smirked. I imitated him obnoxiously, "Ye need tae be prepared Har." He growled and swiped my legs out from under me causing me to fall onto my butt. He grabbed his sword and moved to pin me down but I rolled away. I sprung to my feet and blew the loose strands of hair out from my face. We began to circle each other and unsurprisingly Harry was the first to strike again. He lunged surprisingly low and caught a bit of my shirt, successfully ripping it and cutting me on my stomach. I hissed in pain but didn't stop as I quickly counter attacked. I noticed the regret in his eyes at hurting me but hey, that comes with the job.

We continued to fight for a good minute before Harry was suddenly yanked backwards just as he did to Zymir before. I slowed my movements to a stop as I breathed heavily. There stood Evie who let go of Harry's wrinkled collar to glare at us.

"You guys are ridiculous. Look at you! Harry, your lip is busted and your arm is cut. Y/n, your leg is bruised and your side is sliced. It's like you guys don't know where your pirate lives end and your sibling lives pick up."

I just shrugged and moved next to Harry, "Eve, ah appreciate yer concern but aam fine. An' sae is Harry." I punched his wounded arm causing him to hiss in pain.

He glared towards me with a grimace. "Yeah lass. An' Y/n haur is fine tay." He shoved me slightly causing the skin on my ribcage to stretch. I groaned and shot him a look.

"Try me Harry, ah daur ye." I growled

"ah thooght ah jist did... an' won." He bit back.

Evie just groaned loudly and rubbed her temples, "Stop it! You guys are both bleeding and are in pain. Why can't you just stop with the competition and help each other."

"ah dinnae need help." We both said in unison causing Evie to chuckle lightly.

"Let's go to the nursing cabin and I'll stitch you guys up." We both reluctantly followed her as she led the way through the ship down to the bottom and to the nursing cabin. The infirmary type room wasn't much, just a small room with rags, a sink, and a hard wooden table.

Inside, Uma was crouched down rummaging through one of the crates in the corner. Evie knocked slightly so she wouldn't scare the pirate captain and led us into the room. Uma glanced over at us and shook her head with a laugh. "You too again?"

It was true, me and Harry often got into little fights like this one and one of us always ended up bleeding. I rolled my eyes at my friend and sat down in one of the chairs in the corner. Harry took his seat on the table and Evie went to get the sewing kit from a small basket.

Uma began to walk out with a rag in her hand. She paused to talk to me directly, "I'm leaving because I don't want to see those two like that." I groaned and knew exactly what she meant.

"Tak' me wi' ye?" I pleaded but Uma just laughed and walked out the door. I glanced back over to my brother and Evie and inwardly groaned. Harry sat slighted askewed so Evie could look at his arm. She was situated between his knees as she carefully pressed a wet cloth around the wound. Harry's other hand was lazily stroking her outer thigh as he watched her hands in fascination. But I couldn't even be mad because they were a cute couple and my brother was happy and so was my friend, so it was fine. I just sucked it up and closed my eyes, leaning my head against the wall until it was my turn.

"Well lucky for you Harry, you don't need stitches." Evie pinched his chin between her thumb and forefinger causing him to look at her, "This time."

"Cheers loove." He quickly pecked her lips and went to walk away but Evie just placed a hand on his chest to stop him.

"You still need bandages." Evie began to wrap a long strip of gauze around his arm tightly before securing it with a tight knot. She gave him one more kiss before shooing him off the table. "Okay Y/n your turn." I lazily opened my eyes and began to stand up, "That's a lot of blood."

I glanced down to my side to notice the growing red stain on my shirt. I just shrugged it off as I took a step forward, suddenly feeling extremely dizzy. I reached out to steady myself on the wall but felt Harry grab ahold of my arm instead. I blinked harshly a few times before pushing off of me and sitting down on the table.

Evie looked at me worriedly, "lay down on your back so I can look at this." I slowly leaned down on the table and draped an arm across my eyes. Evie lifted my shirt so it was bunch beneath my breasts and began wiping around the blood around the surprisingly deep cut. I convulsed in pain when she made contact with the puckered skin around the wound. "Sorry y/n/n. This is deeper than I originally thought. Harry, can you wash this rag and hand me a fresh wet one."

"dinnae waste th' rags." I groaned knowing our supplies was dwindling as winter came along.

"I'm not wasting them y/n. You're bleeding and I need to fix this." Harry handed her the rag and she began holding the pressure against my stomach.

I removed my arm from my face and blinked my eyes open slowly. I saw Harry at the edge of the table looking at me worriedly, slightly chewing on his thumbnail.

"aam fine." I groaned impatiently. This was a serious problem of mine, not letting myself be taken care of. I didn't want any attention on me and I certainly didn't want others to not have bandages because of me.

"jist haud yer weesht an' listen tae 'er." Harry quipped earning him a quick slap to the arm from Evie.

She turned to me, "But he's right. Just shut up and listen to me." I watched as she thread the needle and ran it under the sink a few times to sterilize it the best she could. Suddenly the door opened and in walked Zymir. I noticed Harry visibly tense. "It's good that you're here. I need you two to hold her steady while I start."

I whined again, "aam fine!"

"Y/n... this is going to hurt a lot and if you don't want me to miss then just let them keep you steady. Plus, if you don't move then you proved me wrong." I reluctantly nodded with a grunt and dropped my head back onto the table. Zymir moved to my head and placed his hands on my shoulders while Harry held my ankles. I felt them both push down on my body so I couldn't move. "Bite this." Evie said as she pulled the edge of my shirt up to my mouth. I opened it and let her place the dirty piece of cloth between my teeth. She let out a breath, "You ready? On three. One, two..." And before Evie could get to three the needle pierced my skin. I grunted in pain but stayed relatively still. I felt the string move along my skin. In and out, in and out, in and out. The repetitive motion was a weird sensation that I never quite got used to, especially on the sensitive skin of my stomach. I clenched down hard on the cloth and whimpered ever so slightly when she came to the end and tied the string into a knot. She placed some tape over the long cut to seal it and signaled to the boys to let go of me. I instantly shook out my limbs, trying to get the blood moving. Evie's eyebrow quirked up, "You okay?"

I flashed her a smile, "ay coorse."

Evie nodded hesitantly, "okay try to keep your movement minimal and reduce the amount of contact you have with it. Let it breathe."

I nodded at her words, "Noo if yoo'll excuse me aam gonnae mah room." I stood up and instantly felt Zymir steady me before I even had the chance to stumble. I mumbled my thanks and let him help me out the door though I could hear Harry fuming behind me.

As the door closed I heard the harsh whisper of Harry's voice, "ah hate 'em together."

Evie sighed, "Just let her be." Tears stung at the corners of my eyes at my brother's constant disapproval of my boyfriend. The one that I loved and trusted. He opened the door to his shared cabin with Gil, though Gil rarely stayed there, and led me to his bed. He sat down and carefully pulled me onto his lap.

"Your brother doesn't like me." Zymir huffed as he dropped his chin onto my shoulder.

I snorted, "Yeah, nae kiddin." He looked at me pleadingly, "But he eosnae loch mony fowk. In fact, ah dinnae hink he likes anyain."

Zymir shook his head lightly, "No. He likes you, Uma, Gil... Evie obviously. He likes most of the crew and even your dad. I'm the only one he doesn't like."

I cupped his head slightly and gave him a kiss, "He's jist protectife ay me."

Zymir sighed, "Yeah but it's weird because he acts all protective and then slices your stomach."

I frowned, "He dinnae mean tay. He was jist tryin' tae train wi' me."

"I saw some of the 'training' and it didn't look like training. It looked more like actual fighting. He doesn't even go that hard with the crew members that need it."

I shook my head, trying to convince myself that he loved me. "He jist wants me tae be able tae defend myself."

"But he knows you can. I've heard him say it myself." Zymir moved me off his lap and ran his hand through his hair, "But I don't know. Your relationship is weird so what am I to say." He crawled further onto the bed, "come cuddle. I'm sure you're tired." I just nodded blankly, not really listening to what he was saying. My mind was too focused on my brother and what his feelings toward me really were. I mean I know he loves me... right? I mean I saw the worry and guilt in his eyes when Evie was helping me but he also didn't sound too upset. I absentmindedly crawled under Zymir's quilt and leaned my head on his chest. I felt his arms carefully pull me closer as he nuzzled into my hair.

I felt his even breathing against my ear and cautiously peaked up to see his eyes closed and mouth slightly gaping, he was out. I smiled at the boy and waited a minute longer before carefully detangling myself from his arms. I slid out from under his covers and left his room silently. I ducked into my room and switched my bloody shirt for a loose top that stopped just above my belly button. I threw my shirt into the sink deciding to deal with it later as I made my way out of my cabin and up onto the main deck. There were few crew members about but none of them questioned me as I waltzed off the ship.

I was hesitant in my steps, nervous about where I wanted my destination to be. I walked for a few miles before hunger began to prick at my stomach. I snagged an apple off of a vendor's cart and munched on it happily as I made my way to the complete other side of the Isle. On that side was my father's old worn down ship and his straggly crew. They were all wrinkled and weathered at this point in their life and did nothing more than sit around the ship playing cards and drinking ale.

When Harry lost the ship my father gave him to Uma in a bet our father banished him to the other side of the isle, not wanting to deal with his idiocrasy. I was torn between my brother and father for a few years. However when I visited my brother with a black eye I had gotten from my father one day he quickly swept me up and instantly found me a high ranking position in Uma's crew.

I smiled at the memory of him but my smile faded as I came to the splintered docks. I still saw my father occasionally and although I don't think I love him I figured he deserved to see me a least a few times. I walked onto the ship and walked up to a crowd of large bellied men playing cards around a barrel.

"Y/n!" Smee cheered happily. I smiled back, always enjoying the quirky man. "We haven't seen you in a while."

I laughed humorlessly, "yuh... I've bin busy."

He nodded in understanding and cocked his head towards the cabins, "your father's in his suite."

"thenk ye." I excused myself politely and walked to his quarters. I inhaled a sharp breath before knocking on the door.

"Yes?"

I closed my eyes and spoke shakily, "hey dad... its Y/n."

I waited for his response and let out a breath of relief when he replied, "Come en in."

I opened the door and saw my father drinking some tea at his large desk, glasses perched on his nose as he read a book. His smile grew at the sight of me and I smiled back. I loved my father, I did. "awrite dad."

"Awrite y/n. whit brings ye haur the-day?"

I shrugged as I took a seat in front of his desk, "jist wanted tae say hi. Catch up a wee bit."

He nodded as he sipped his tea and closed his book. His eyes found the gauze at my stomach and his eyebrow quirked up slightly, "diz it hae tae dae wi' 'at?" He gestured to the cut with his hook. The hook that was weathered and tarnished, but still as threatening as ever.

I shook my head, "Nae. 'At was jist an incident frae trainin'. Me an' Harry waur—"

"Ahhh och ye an' Harry." I bit my lip at his sharp tone, "Ye tois waur aye quite th' fighters. E'en as yoong bairns."

I nodded tightly, "Yeah but ah was actually hopin' tae—"

"Ye troaps aye argued ower th' most trivial things but he typically won." I found my fists clenching at his words, "He woods push ye tae th' grin an' pin ye thaur until ye admitted defeat." He let out a short laugh, "ah aye thooght 'at he woods be a guid pirate. Seein' as th' way he handled himself at such a yoong age. He aye hud 'at dominatin' quality."

My teeth were clenched as I spoke, not that I expected my father to notice that. "ye aye believed in Harry didnae ye?"

He nodded, twirling his greying mustache between his fingers. "ah did. That's wa ah gae th' Revenger tae heem. ah was hopeful 'at he woods be a stoatin keptin jist loch his faither. His fire, his insanity. He hud aw th' guid qualities, naethin' loch ye as a bairn. Ye waur much mair reserved."

"aam th' navigatur fur uir crew." I defended myself lightly.

"That's guid, ah suppose. But ye micht want tae sharpen yer sword fightin' skills." He gestured to my cut again, "Somethin' loch 'at can end a barnie real quick. sae anyways back tae yer brither... hoo is he daein?"

I shrugged and picked at my nails, "he's guid."

"Still datin' 'at Evie lassie?" I nodded again and frowned at the disapproving click of his tongue, "He coods dae sae much better. Ah mean wi' his genes he coods gie onie lassie oan th' isle! Heck, he coods gie onie lassie in Auradon." His laugh filled my ears and I wanted to cringe. "Whit abit ye?"

I looked up shocked, not expecting for him to ask that. "Me? Nae, aam nae datin' anyain." I knew that telling him I was dating Zymir would just cause turmoil for our relationship and possible danger for Zymir.

"That's okay. yoo'll fin someain. Jist make sure ye ken hoo tae sweep an' sew." I furrowed my eyebrows. "Men loch 'at. A submissife hen. yoo'll ne'er gie a man wi' hoo ye act reit noo."

"Ye dinnae want me tae be a pirate?"

"ah mean ah guess ye coods but it's tay late tae start tryin' tae be one now. It's jist a wee tay late tae jump ontae th' ship but ah guess ye coods try. Jist make sure ye ken those other skills weel... jist in case."

I nodded angrily and stood up, "ah jist remembered ah hae tae go."

He frowned slightly but quickly readjusted his face to the indifference I saw before. He picked up his book and began to read again. "Okay, it was nice tae see ye."

I left the room without another word and bounded through my father's ship, quickly making it to the street. I fumed as I jogged through the markets and returning to Uma's ship. I quickly found Harry perched at the steps talking to a few crew mates and I grabbed a sword from a nearby barrel.

"Harry!" His head turned towards me, "Let's go. Ye an' me."

He laughed, "Y/n we awreddy trained the-day. Plus, we aw saw hoo weel 'at went lest time. Ye need tae rest." I looked around at the crew members that stood around us.

I smirked at him, "scared ay yer yoonger sister ur ye?" I saw him frown and saunter into a standing position. He just shrugged and smiled at me.

"If ye wish, dear sister." I didn't give him a chance to be prepared. Once he unsheathed his sword, I immediately bombarding him with ferocious attacks. I swung violently and saw him struggle to stay on the defensive side. The crew gathered around the outskirts of the ship, watching the fierce battle between brother and sister. We continued to fight for a few minutes before Uma appeared between us. She had a sword in each hand, one pointed at me and one pointed at Harry.

"Stop!" Her loud voice silenced everyone as my chest heaved up and down with my ragged breaths. She turned to Harry, "My quarters now!" She whipped around as he began to sulk away, "Take a walk. I'll talk to you later." I huffed as I threw my sword to the ground and stomped off the boat and down the beach. I felt the tears sting my ears and drip down my cheeks as I kicked through the sand. There was a large boulder off in the distance and I continued until I got to it. I sat down on the rock, my tears still falling from my eyes.

"Y/n?" I wiped my eyes quickly as I heard my boyfriend's voice carry through the air. He stopped in front of me and dropped to his knees. He gripped my wrists in his hands and pulled them from my face so I would look him in the eyes. "What's going through your head?"

I huffed and slouched heavily, "Ah dinnae ken."

He let go of my wrists and rested his hands on my knees. I felt his thumbs rub comforting circles on my skin, "Why don't we start at the beginning?" I just nodded, "this morning."

I felt my anger rising, "Harry interrupted uir date an' made yer wark in th' chip shop. We huvnae hud a date in months coz ay heem."

Zymir nodded, "Yes he did. Then he wanted you to train some more and you guys began to spar. How'd that go?"

"Ye saw hoo 'at went." I huffed, "he kept pushin' me an' pushin' me an' literally chibbed me."

"He didn't mean too." Zymir defended lightly.

"'En ah went tae see mah dad efter ye fell asleep an'–"

"Wait, you went to see your dad?" Zymir's face was covered in worry but I paid no attention to that.

"Yeah but that nae th' point. Mah dad coodnae haud yer weesht abit Harry—"

"Y/n." He said harshly causing me to snap out of my trance, "You went to see your dad? Alone?"

"Yeah but naethin' happened."

"But it could've." He quipped back easily. "You could've gotten seriously hurt. You promised me you wouldn't see him alone. And you had just gotten stitches."

I rolled my eyes, "Zymir... naethin' happened."

"Yeah but it could've." He surprised me as he stood up roughly. He pushed off my legs to pace through the sand. He ran his hand nervously through his hair. "Y/n. I cannot believe you did that."

I heard him getting angrier which caused me to get defensive, "Ye act loch ah cannae handle muhself. Naethin' happened. Aam nae a bairn. Ah can protect myself."

"Even against your father?! You love him, and that's the problem. You'd let him do anything just because of the fact that he's your father."

The tears pricked at my eyes again, "Ah dinnae need tae gie mah choices approved by ye ur anyain else."

"I just don't get why you even went there."

"Coz mebbe ah wanted tae talk tae heem. Ye said it yerself, ah loove heem. He's mah faither. Ah deserve tae be able tae talk tae mah faither freely withit havin' ye ur Harry puppy guard me."

"You don't think about your actions y/n! Everything you do is for yourself!" Zymir yelled. I knew he was just worried about me but the words stung. I refused to let me see that his words actually hurt me. I just stood up and looked at him square in the eye.

"Ye can go fuck yerself Zymir." My tone was calm which probably scared him the most as I turned to walk back down the beach. He called after me but I didn't turn around and he knew to not push me any further. I made it to the market and saw Harry sitting on the edge of the dock. He noticed me walking and stood up to approach me but I just quickened my pace and brushed past him. I quickly molded into the crowded streets and ducked into a nearby building so he couldn't follow me. This was my favorite building on the isle due to its perfect position on the edge of the dock. It was old and worn down but a safe spot for me to think. I expertly climbed the stairs and walked through the familiar house. I stepped out of the window onto the rickety fire escape and scurried to the roof. I breathed in the salty air and exhaled shakily, feeling the tears come again. I sat down on the edge of the building and gazed down at the water below me.

Like I said, this building was directly on the docks and there was only about two feet of dock between the building and the water. I thought of jumping, not to kill myself but to feel the thrill of diving from such a high place. It would be dangerous, if I landed wrong I could easily hurt myself or die. The water was probably freezing as well due to the changing seasons.

I kicked my legs some more, my heels hitting the wall of the building. I thought about what Zymir had said. I whispered to myself, "Everythin' ye dae is fur yerself." Maybe he's right. I mean, I did break my promise to both Zymir and Harry and Uma by going to talk to my father alone. Harry. I didn't want to think about my brother right now but I couldn't help it, he consumed my thoughts.

The fact that he was allowed to be in a loving relationship but I wasn't. The fact that he could go out on dates but I couldn't. The fact that he could kiss Evie in front of everyone but god forbid Zymir even put his arm around me. Harry didn't love me. If he did he would want me to be happy, why couldn't he just see that Zymir made me happy.

And don't even get me started on how everyone loved Harry, especially my father. Oh, Harry would be the true pirate in the family and he could barely even read a map. It bothered me that my father couldn't see my worth, but then again maybe there wasn't much worth to see.

How could he be proud of me when my own brother didn't love me and my boyfriend thought I was completely selfish? The tears flowed out of my eyes as the painful realization dawned on me.

I heard commotion down below and peered over to see our ship lit up. Zymir stood on the deck frantically talking to Uma, Harry, and Evie. His arms were waving all over the place and he paced around the deck worriedly. I knew he was talking about me. The sun was setting and I had yet to return to the ship. I continued to watch secretly and saw that Harry was the next to speak up. He pointed all over the isle before throwing his hands up in frustration. I scowled as Evie put a soothing hand on his back.

I let out a huff as I watched them disperse. Zymir went up to the head of the ship to glance around the Isle while Uma and Evie went down the shoreline and Harry strolled down the street. I broke my gaze away from everyone else and focused on my boyfriend down below. He paced throughout the entire ship before sitting down on a barrel near the mast. He bit his thumb and closed his eyes. I could barely see the tears fall down his face.

I don't know how long I had been watching Zymir before the others came back all with a defeated look on his face. Harry shrugged, causing my blood to boil. I stood up and contemplatively looked at the water below me one more time.

"If aam gonnae be stuck in a place whaur a' fowk hates me, micht an aw hae some fin." I watched the sun finally dip beyond the horizon and waited for them to leave the deck. I backed up a few spaces and let out a shaky breath before running towards the edge of the building and launching myself off. I held in my squeal of glee as I felt the wind rush by me. I held my breath as I hit the still water.

It hurt more than expected, despite my perfect entry form. My head pounded and I felt the water rip at my stitches. The iciness instantly burned my fingers and toes and the cut on my stomach made it hard to move my arms. I struggled to break the surface, sinking faster than I could swim. I could feel my lungs giving out and my vision was beginning to cloud. I didn't mean for it to go this way but would it be so bad for it to end? Would they really miss me? Would anyone really miss me?

The questions seemed to make my body heavier as I stopped the fight and let out my breath. Before I could fade away completely though something hit the water next to me and suddenly there were strong arms carrying me to the surface. We broke the surface in a quick moment and I gasped heavily. The person who saved me hoisted me onto the dock before pulling themselves up. I was scared to look at them, worried it was my brother. But as Harry's boots appeared next to me, my eyes shifted to see a panting Zymir with worry all over his face.

He quickly pulled me into a hug and I felt him relax slightly now that he could feel I was safe. I shivered slightly and he pulled away to hand me his discarded jacket that was dry. I awkwardly shrugged in on before taking his hand to stand up. I cautiously turned to face my brother who stood in front of Evie and Uma.

"Whit waur ye thinkin'?" He yelled at me, getting dangerously close to my face. "gonnae swimmin' at nicht when th' seasons ur changin? Did ye want tae die?"

I almost nodded, almost. But I kept my head held high as I brushed past him. I discarded the worried looks from the girls and walked onto the ship. I thought I had escaped when someone grabbed my wrist and spun me around. I came face to face with Zymir.

"Why did you jump?" Zymir spoke softly, as if he thought he would scare me away.

"Jump!?" Harry questioned loudly, "Ye jumped? Frae whaur?" Zymir didn't turn around as he pointed to the building. "Y/n! Hoo coods ye dae—"

Zymir whipped around in a flash to face Harry, "Harry, stop! You've done enough, let me handle this." I was surprised to see Zymir stand up to my brother. Harry tried to lunge for the boy but both Evie and Uma quickly pulled him back. Z turned back to me. "Why'd you jump?"

"Ah didnae jump. Ah was pushed." It wasn't a total lie. Something within me had pushed me to the edge. But he didn't need to know that, he could think it was one of the many enemies we had made.

"You were five feet from the dock, no way a push could get you that far." He pointed out.

"Efter ah was pushed, ah hud tae push myself aff th' roof sae ah wooldnae hit th' dock."

"Who was it?" His voice was low but his tone dangerous, revengeful.

"Ah dinnae ken." That was the truth. What had caused me to take the step, I had no clue.

He closed his eyes and ran a hand over them, "Now is not the time to lie to me." He reached a hand out to me but I stepped back from him. He retracted his hand as if I just burned him. Uma quickly stepped forward and sheltered me from the judgmental eyes.

"Why don't we go to my quarters?" She placed a gently on my hand to coax me off the deck. She turned her head to face Evie, "make sure both of these boys go to bed and then come see us."

I could faintly hear Evie begin to chastise the two boys which almost brought a smile to my face. I quickly found myself in Uma's quarters. She closed the door and turned to me. "Don't fucking lie to me y/n."

Her sudden change in attitude shocked me. I stuttered slightly, "whit ur ye talkin' abit?"

"No bullshit. I was watching you. I saw you on the edge of that roof. I saw you run and jump... willingly." I felt tears sting at my eyes. I didn't know how I would explain this to anyone, let alone my captain. "Now do you want to explain to me what really happened?"

I wanted to shake my head but I knew she would keep pressing til I talked to her. I decided to start off easy, "ah saw mah dad."

She groaned and rubbed the bridge of her nose, "We've talked about this y/n."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah ah cannae go anywhaur withit ye, Harry, or Zymir guardin' me. Aam a strang bodie, ah can handle myself!"

"You really going to play that card after what I saw tonight?" She rose an eyebrow at me, "Did he hurt you?"

I huffed and crossed my arms, taking a seat in the rugged couch off to the side. "Nae he didnae hurt me, h-he loves me ye ken." My voice wavered as I spoke the second part and I could barely convince myself.

Uma sighed, "What did he say?"

I waved it off, "Naethin' important."

"So if it's nothing that your dad said then what made you jump?"

"Aam nae suicidal." I retorted quickly which caused Uma to look at me in disbelief.

"You're telling me that you jumped off the highest building on the isle for fun?"

I grimaced at the sound of it, "Weel..."

She was getting angry, "Then why did you not swim to the top? Then why did you lie to Zymir? Then why are you lying to me right now? What made you give up?!" Her eyes were filling with tears as her voice got louder.

I began to panic. My brain was being clouded with emotions and feelings. The room started to swirl. I had to get out here. I couldn't stay. I can't stay anywhere. I need to go. I need to run. Keep moving, don't stop. Where to go? Nowhere to go. Have to go. Can't stay. Gotta leave. Keep moving. I need to keep moving. Why aren't I going anywhere? I'm trapped. My brain doesn't work, my feet don't work. I need to leave. I can't stay. Push past them. Leave. They don't love me. Leave. No one wants me here. Leave. I need to leave.

I felt gentle hands on my back and another pair pull me into a hug as two separate voices tried to calm me down, "just breathe y/n. Just breathe. In and out. In and out." I listened to Evie's instructions and slowly my breathing began to slow down and level out. "That's it. Keep going. In and out, in and out."

I felt my head clear and finally found myself in Evie's arms with Uma looking on worried. I wiped my eyes and distanced myself from them, embarrassed. Despite me wiping my tears I continued to cry, "Aam sorry." My words came out in choked sobs, "Ah cannae dae thes anymair." I collapsed back onto the couch and dropped my face into my hands.

Evie sat next to me, "just let it out. We can't help you if you don't talk to us."

I took a slow breathe but the tears continued to stream down my cheeks, "Wa am ah sae unlovable?"

Uma's jaw slackened as she and Evie shared worried glances, "Y/n..."

"Mah ain family doesnae love me." I sobbed again.

"Hey!" Evie's fingers lifted my chin so I looked at her, "Your brother loves you so much. And although your father may not show it properly he loves you to. I promise."

I shook my head and stood up, beginning to pace around the room. "Nae they dinnae. Harry doesnae hink ah can dae anythin' reit an' he treats me loch crap. He doesnae want me tae be happy, he wants me tae suffer. He ne'er lets me dae anythin' 'at makes me happy, that's nae whit a brither diz!"

"He's just protective. He doesn't want you dating Zymir because he doesn't want you to get hurt. Y/n I swear he loves you." Uma explained gently, "Everything he does for you is out of love. Although his actions may seem harsh, he doesn't mean to cause you any harm."

"Yeah... all that time training probably caused him to lose a few too many brain cells." It was a lame joke but it caused me to chuckle slightly.

"What did your dad say?" Uma asked again.

"He didnae haud yer weesht abit Harry. It didnae matter whit ah tauld heem, it's jist Harry thes an' Harry 'at. ah was ne'er meant tae be a pirate an' he made it damn clear 'at ah willnae amoont tae anythin'. Ah shoods jist fin' a man fa will dae everythin' fur me because apparently that's whit men want. He didne caur 'at ah reid maps an' helped navigate. He jist wanted me tae learn hoo tae sweep an' sew."

Evie groaned, "Your dad has no idea what he's talking about. Take it from someone whose mother tried to teach me the same things. It's better to be a smart and powerful girl. Your dad is an idiot and I can promise you that Zymir loves how strong you are."

"Nah he doesnae. He doesnae loove me either."

Uma snorted, "Are you kidding? He's head over heels for you. What made you say that?"

"ye dinnae hink abit anyain but yerself" I repeated his words softly.

"He said that to you?" Uma's eyes narrowed. I nodded, "I'll be right back." Her words were harsh as she stormed out of the room before either me or Evie could stop her.

"She's gonna kill heem, isnae she?"

"Probably Harry too." Evie lightly chuckled.

I shook my head, "ah shoold've ne'er tauld ye guys."

"I'm glad you did. But I have a feeling this has been going on for a while. You're not one to jump to conclusions, literally and figuratively."

I nodded my head and looked at my fidgeting fingers, "Nae. I've bin dealin' wi' it fur a while."

"Come talk to me next time okay? I'm here for you. Me and Uma and Gil and the rest of the crew... we're your family too. And you're stuck with us whether you like it or not."

I smiled, "Thanks Evie. Can ah ask ye a question?" She nodded, "Hoo did ye ken whit tae dae when ah hud a panic attack?"

Evie frowned and then leveled me a sympathetic smile, "Carlos used to suffer from panic attacks all the time when he was still here. Me and Jay were the only ones that could calm him down."

I saw the sadness in her eyes, "Dae ye miss them?"

She nodded, "I do. They were my friends. But I'm happy I'm here. I love Harry and I love this crew. I just hope that we will all get off this Isle soon enough." She pulled me in for another hug as we moved out of the room.

"Thenk ye Evie."

"Anytime." She responded without missing a beat. We heard the yells of Uma from down the hallway and had to keep our laughter at bay. Those poor boys were probably close to pissing their pants. "Why don't we get you stitched up again?"

I completely forgot about my reopened wound and after acknowledging it I felt the pain hit me again, "that'd probably be a guid idea."

She walked with me to the infirmary and quickly stitched me up before escorting me to my bedroom. We talked for a little longer before Harry stopped by. He barely looked at me, obviously ashamed about whatever Uma said to him. He just gave a quick sorry and went on his way.

"I should probably go with him." Evie said and I nodded with a small chuckle, "Hey y/n? Please don't give up again, I swear you're worth it." She almost made tears come to my eyes again. We hugged before she was on her way and I decided to finally put on some warmer clothes. I quickly changed and pulled my wild hair into a bun when I heard a knock at the door.

"Can I come in?" Zymir's voice was soft, almost scared.

"Yeah come en in." I said, turning to face the door as it slowly creaked open. He stepped inside and softly shut the door behind him. I saw his puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks and realized just how much I hurt him.

"I'm sorry."

I quickly jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly, "Nae. Aam sorry. ah was bein' irrational."

He shook his head as he hugged me back just as tight, "No. I should've never said that to you and I'm sorry for ever making you feel bad. I promise I'll be better."

"Me tay." I responded earnestly. I was ready to change for the better.

"I love you." My heart soared at the words that had yet to be uttered by him, "Y/n. I love you so much and I don't know what I would've done if I lost you."

"Ah loove ye tay Zymir an' ah promise 'at ah will ne'er dae 'at again."

"Good because now you're stuck with me."

"Ah wooldnae want it onie other way." I pulled back and kissed him lovingly. I am loved.

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madstars-festival · 3 years

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DON’T MISS AD STARS’ FREE ONLINE FESTIVAL ON AUGUST 25-27

We have lined up an inspiring line up of leading-edge speakers for the AD STARS 2021 Online Festival, which runs from August 25 to 27 and is free to attend. We hope you can join us!

Featuring some of the world’s most renowned agencies and marketers, the program also features visionary innovators from Universal Everything, Neolix, Ispace Inc, DesignedByUs.org and more.

“We are immensely proud of this year’s program, which is inspired by the theme ‘Shift’. To succeed, today’s marketers and creators will need to radically shift how they think and learn new skills along the way. To help you on this journey, we have invited a wide range of experts to present at AD STARS 2021,” explains Hwanjin Choi, Chair of AD STARS.

“You’ll learn about space marketing, the metaverse, the future of virtual humans and new marketing techniques. You will learn how to connect with post-COVID consumers, how to create digital experiences that are alive, empathetic and joyful, and how to help your clients do business in a more responsible, sustainable way.”

KEYNOTE SPEAKERS

Joanna Peña-Bickley, Head of Research & Design at Alexa Devices at Amazon / CEO & Design Fellow at DesignedByUs.org: “Creativity 2030 – AI Powered Culture of Creativity” (August 25th, 11:00 – 11:30am KST) This session will explore the fundamental shift from services performed by humans to algorithms empowering individual creators and makers. “I share this not to scare you that the robots are coming for your jobs – I share this because we are at an inflection point where we the creators can work smarter and offer even more creativity to help our communities, companies and planet with the assistance of AI using Cognitive Experience Design.”

Raja Rajamannar, Chief Marketing & Communications Officer at Mastercard: “Quantum Marketing: Classical Rules No Longer Apply” (August 26, 11:00am – 11:25am KST) In this ground-breaking presentation, CMO of Mastercard and author of Wall Street Journal Best-Seller ‘Quantum Marketing’, Raja Rajamannar will unveil new rules and thinking to drive marketing leadership, business growth, and customer satisfaction for the future. This unconventional session will share the secrets to enable your marketing to make the quantum leap.

CONVERSATIONS

Kevin Swanepoel, CEO, The One Club for Creativity and Sangsoo Chong, Vice Chairman of the AD STARS Executive Committee will discuss “The Future of Award Shows”. (August 26, 11:25am – 12pm KST)

Laura Swinton, Editor-in-Chief at Little Black Book will talk to Badong Abesamis, Co-CCO at GIGL and Nkgabiseng Motau, Co-founder & CCO at Think Creative Africa to find out: “Is the Rise of Purposeful Branding Making Ads Less Funny?” (August 27, 11 – 11:30am KST)

TALKS & WEBINARS

Emma Chiu, Global Director, Wunderman Thompson Intelligence: “Into the Metaverse: Digital Trends Shaping the Future” (August 25, 11:30am – 12:00 KST)

This presentation will explore 10 digital trends that are redefining the virtual realm. From digital twins and virtual ownership to designing and collaborating within interconnected worlds, the metaverse is creating a digitally infused world that all brands, marketers and individuals must embrace to stay ahead and remain relevant.

Joel Gethin Lewis, Creative Director, Interactive Arts, Universal Everything: “Techno Optimism: Human Centred Experiences for Troubles Times” (August 25, 4:00 – 4:30pm KST) Using emerging technology and drawing on universal themes of human interest, it’s possible to create digital experiences for all canvases which feel more alive, empathetic and joyful than ever. Learn how to harness new technology to create products and experiences which aren’t just effective – they reconnect, delight and inspire us too.

MeeYee Foong, Creative Director and Buboy Paguio, Technical Creative Director at AKQA: “From Imagination to Realization” (August 26, 1:30pm – 2pm KST) Take a look behind the curtain as to how AKQA Shanghai has reinvented its production and creative processes. The creative duo will present a number of recent projects they've collaborated on, brought to life by leveraging new technologies and talent.

Pippa Seichrist, CEO, Miami AD School: “How Agency & School Partnerships are Essential” (August 26, 3pm – 3:30pm KST) Miami AD School partners with agencies and brands all over the world to provide its students with a global perspective. In exchange, agencies get the first look at the most promising new talent. In this session, Seichrist will reveal what companies can do to make their juniors more creative, more dedicated and more inspired to do the work.

Sosuke Koyama, Chief Transformation Officer and Rish Gopal, Social Media Director at Beacon Tokyo / Publicis Groupe Japan: “Truth in Advertising… In a Platform World” (August 26, 4pm – 4:30pm KST) Platforms like Google, Facebook and Twitter have successfully democratized personalized communications at scale, but they have also unleashed a tidal wave of misinformation. Let’s come together and discuss what role advertising should play as the world begins to slide back into an age where we have to fight for concepts like truth and the enlightenment, as opposed to take them for granted.

Tim Lindsay, Chairman, D&AD: “Advertising in Europe after the coronavirus pandemic” (August 26, 4:30pm – 5pm KST) How should advertising change, post-pandemic? One instinct that most of us have is that it would be wrong to simply revert to our old way of living – particularly in the developed world – when and if we're able to. The climate emergency makes that an imperative. How can advertising contribute to a more thoughtful, responsible and sustainable way of helping our clients do business? What are our responsibilities?

Guan Hin Tay, Chief Creative Officer, BBDO Singapore: “Imperfect Beauty: Brands Need Imperfect Human Stories That Are Authentic, Making Them Worthy of Consumer's Attention and Trust”” (August 26, 5pm – 5:30pm KST) Should stories always attempt to be perfect? Of course, stories without context or purpose are meaningless. But, on the other hand, stories mustn't shy away from the ugly truth. What if some content is meant to be ugly for a reason?

Josy Paul, Chairman, BBDO India: “The Rising Power of Emotional Data” (August 27, 1:30 – 2pm) This presentation is all about understanding the hidden power of emotional data: data that is rooted in human confessions, not just insights; data that goes to the 'the ocean floor of ourselves'. When we uncover it, society responds and the brand prospers.

AD STARS’ three-day program will also feature: • Soowon Lee, CEO, TBWA\Korea: “50+, Watch SMART Seniors”, a session about marketing to Korea’s fast-growing over 50s • Laura Paz, Head of Digital Content, FCB Mexico: “The Road to Content Design into New Media (UX+CD)” • Zetu Damane, Chief Strategic Officer, Think Creative Africa: “Shift: How Has Covid Shifted Societal Values and Culture – An African Perspective” • Hyunchang Roh, Digital Campaign Director, Cheil Worldwide: “Good Old Days? Now on Digital” • Taro Asazuma, HAKUTO-R Brand Manager, Ispace Inc. and Kae Masuhara, Senior Solution Director at Dentsu: “Space Marketing in the New Era of the Commercial Space Industry” – a session exploring Dentsu’s space marketing program, co-developed with Ispace Inc • Jinsoo Kim, Campaign Director, Sidus studio X: “Virtual Human: The Future and Technological Bias” • Kristy Hu, Director of Solutions, Neolix: “Autonomous Driving Vehicle as Mobile Service Platforms in Commercialization” • Marc Wesseling, Co-Founder and CEO, UltraSuperNew: “Why Creativity is Our Most Precious Commodity in the Digital Age” • Julie Kang, CEO, Serviceplan Korea: “Transformative Power of Über Creativity” • Victoria Sunmie Lhie, Senior Executive Director, KPR, and President, cohands: “Emerging Threats to Brands: Hatred and Labelling” • Younghyuk Ko, Managing Director, Treasure Data Korea: “Limitation and Opportunity of Digital AD from Customer Journey Perspective” • Yukio Saegusa, CDO & CIO, Idemitsu Kosan Co. Ltd.: “Data is the New Oil: Oil & Gas Company Challenges to Data-Driven Business Transformation” • Dissara Udomdej, CEO, Yell Advertising: “A Digital Mindset for Creative Work”

To watch AD STARS 2021 online, visit adstars.org from August 25-27. All sessions will be available to watch on demand for 60 days until late October 2021.

#adstars2021

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faofinn · 7 months

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No.6 "Do or die, you'll never make me, because the world will never take my heart."

@whumptober-archive

Recording | Made To Watch | "It should have been me."

A follow up to something we've not posted, around the anniversary of Fao's accident (as well as Hars' and the death of Marcus) Hars falls back into drinking and using his painkillers a little too much...

Harrison hadn't long been discharged after his relapse and poor oramorph dosing. Tai had begged him to stay at his place, promised him rides to and from his place whenever, but he needed him to stay. He'd had a small withdrawal in the scheme of things, and he was slightly grateful it had been so mild. Of course, it still took it all out of him, and with the next lot of anniversaries coming up, he didn’t have anything left.

In the end, he'd given in to Tai. It was the best option he'd been given; Steve would be at work most of the day, as would Fao, and he'd spent too many breakdowns at the Daniels to spend another. Tai hadn't run during his breakdown in hospital, and, as stupid as he knew it was, he almost felt like they'd become stronger together. Besides, he liked Tai's company, his boyfriend managing to make him laugh even when he was at the bottom.

Tai had had holidays to take regardless, so happily took those to stay off with Harrison. They'd chatted more when they were in hospital about everything, though he could tell that Harrison had censored most of it. So, of course, Tai had planned the week out - duvet days and favourite films, takeouts instead of cooking, just lazy days together. Harrison hadn't been allowed to see the full plan, but the fact Tai had even just taken the time off work meant the world to him. Emergency meds had been prescribed, just in case, and Tai kept them safe. They'd picked up everything they needed from Harrison’s, but Tai had also bought soft pjs and snugly socks for him too.

All of Tai’s little touches almost overwhelmed him; nobody had gone so far, done so much like this for him. They settled on the sofa together, Tai wrapped around Harrison and a daft film playing in the background. Food was ordered and eaten, and Harrison was, surprisingly to him, feeling a bit better when he finally drifted off.

Tai was so, so glad to have Harrison at his. It had been a whirlwind of emotions, hard to fully understand, but he knew that his boyfriend was safe and on the road to recovery, and that was what mattered. There were still things left unsaid, but there would be time for that. When they fell asleep in bed that night, Tai held him close, running a hand through his hair and promising him under his breath that he was always going to be there for him. He waited until he was sure Harrison was asleep before he finally let himself drift, warm and comfortable.

Harrison had expected a night of no sleep, just tossing and turning, but with tai by his side, somehow he didn't. It was the sun that woke him, the room starting to get bright. While his first thought was Marcus, that it should have been him with him, it was Tai as he curled up again, Tai he wanted.

Tai woke when Harrison did, humming softly. “Hey, good morning.” He greeted softly.

He pressed closer, skin against skin, just breathing in his scent. His attempt at a greeting was half-hearted, somewhere between a hum and grunt.

“Sleep okay?” He asked. “I figured we could stay in bed for a while.”

Harrison nodded against his chest, reaching his hand out to trail his fingers across Tai's bare skin. "I don't want to move."

“Let’s not, then.”

"I need to go out."

“Oh?”

"I'll just go myself, though. It's fine."

“No, it’s okay. I’ll drive you. When do you need to go?”

"You don't know the way."

“I’m sure you can direct me.”

He closed his eyes with a sigh, defeated. "Okay."

“Are you wanting to go now? Or stay in bed for a bit first?”

He wasn't sure he could manage it right that moment. "Later."

“Later.” Tai agreed. “Don’t know about you, but I’m pretty comfy.”

He absently traced his fingertips over pale skin. "I'm home."

“I hope I’m always home to you.”

He tipped his face up to kiss him softly. "Me too."

Tai smiled against his lips. “You’re pretty special, you know that? I’m lucky to have you.”

There was a sadness to his eyes. "I'm not, you know that."

“You are.”

He shook his head, kissing him gently again. "Don't be daft."

“Always daft. But I’m telling the truth.”

"Thank you."

“You want bacon for breakfast?”

"Prefer you." He muttered before his brain caught up, guilt flaring. "Yeah, bacon."

Tai laughed. “Oh, it’s like that is it?”

He hummed with a shrug. "Maybe."

“Tease.”

"I'm not the tease."

“Oh, that’s fighting talk.”

"Not looking like you." He trailed his fingers further down. "Especially topless."

He laughed again. “Well, it’s warm having you on top of me.”

"Oh, so my fault? I can leave if you're complaining."

“Never said it was a complaint.”

Harrison still pulled back from Tai, mischief in his eyes.

“Hey, come on.”

"What?" He feigned innocence.

“Come back.” He said with a pout.

"Make me."

Tai sat up, leaning forward to cup Harrison’s face and kiss him.

Harrison grinned into it, his hand moving to rest on Tai's hip. It was lazy and relaxed, just what Harrison needed to take his mind off things.

Tai melted into Harrison’s touch. He knew full well that Harrison probably wasn’t in the right headspace for this, but it was nice to show him he cared, that he still wanted him, after everything.

He pulled back with a sigh, brushing a strand of hair from Tai's face. "I do love you, you know?"

“Of course I know.” Tai said softly.

"I didn't do it because I didn't love you." Harrison couldn't meet his eyes. "I know I've said it before. I know it doesn’t make it better. But, it's true."

Tai sighed, his thumb stroking Harrison's cheek. "I know."

He leaned into his touch, letting his eyes close for a moment. With a shaky sigh, he kissed Tai's hand. "I wouldn't hate it if you drove me. But…but it's for Marcus, it's the anniversary of his…his death. I always go."

Tai could tell Harrison was close to tears, his heart breaking at the shake of his boyfriend’s voice. He swallowed thickly, though felt out of his depth. "I'd be honoured to take you. Do you take flowers?"

Harrison sat up, drawing his knee to his chest. "Sometimes. Sometimes I take some jammy dodgers, he loved them. And then the letters I've written him."

“We’ll go via the shops, then. Grab some stuff.” Tai decided.

He managed a smile, falling a little more in love with him. "Thank you."

“And we can get some stuff for us, too.”

"Yeah."

“Whatever you fancy.” Tai said, kissing his forehead.

They didn't stay in bed too much longer, swinging by the shops before heading to the cemetery. It was a little bit of a drive, Harrison was quiet on the way, and Tai didn't push it. He couldn't imagine what he was going through, and he didn't begin to pretend. He rested his hand on his thigh as he drove, hoping it would be of some comfort to his boyfriend. In response, Harrison rested his hand on Tai's, saying nothing but appreciating it all the same.

When they arrived, Tai found a parking space, and then looked over at his boyfriend. “Do you want me to wait here? Or come with? I don’t mind.”

"I, uh, I don't know." He'd never had anyone like Tai with him; Steve had brought him when he was still recovering, but then he'd always been alone.

“Why don’t I come, and then if you want to be alone you can just say and I’ll go back to the car.”

"Thank you."

He shrugged. “No need to thank me.”

"There is."

“Just doing the right thing.” Tai said, getting out of the car. He offered Harrison a hand once he was out, making sure they had the bag of stuff, and then he let his boyfriend lead the way.

Harrison didn't say anything as they walked, gripping Tai's hand. He appreciated the support, more than he'd expected, and it choked him up more than he'd thought it would.

Tai didn’t say anything either, not sure exactly what to say. He let Harrison lead the way, and as they arrived at the grave, and he hesitated. Did Harrison want him to come closer? Would he rather have a little bit of space?

"Can I have the bag?"

“Yeah, of course.” Tai said, offering it to him.

"Thanks." He took it awkwardly, taking a moment. "Could, uh, could I have a minute?"

“‘Course.” Tai said, quickly pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Thanks." He repeated, padding over to the grave.

He struggled to his knees and then sat, brushing a small piece of moss from the headstone. He pulled the flowers out, settling them in the small cup, making sure they were neat and tidy.

"Hey, Marcus." His voice cracked. "Tai drove me here today, you’d like him. Fao likes him, and Steve too. He bought the flowers for you, had the shop assistant go and find some biscuits too, you should have seen him. He was adamant we weren't leaving until I had them for you.

"I fucked up the other week, you'd have been so mad at me for it, told me to not be so daft. I didn't mean to start drinking again, but it was just too much and it was the easier way out." He took a shaky breath, tears falling. "I really fucking wish you were here. I really miss you. I don't know how I'm supposed to just keep living without you. You'd have done so much more than I have, I just fuck everything up. You should still be here. If I'd been a bit slower, you'd still have been here. It should have been me."

He could barely catch his breath between the sobs, and the guilt about their accident was only made worse by his want to be held by Tai, not Marcus. He turned to his boyfriend, stretching an arm out for him.

Tai had walked a little way away, giving Hars the space he needed. He stayed close enough just to hear his voice, but not what he’d said, and he’d been looking at his feet in the grass when he heard Harrison’s sobs. Looking up, he frowned, noticing how he reached out for him. He was immediately on his knees by his side, wrapping his arms around him.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

He fell into Tai's arms, gripping tightly onto his hoodie. He didn't say anything, didn't bother to try, just let himself be held, breathing in Tai's scent.

“You’re okay, it’s okay. Just breathe, I’ve got you.” Tai rubbed over his back soothingly, his heart breaking for him.

"It should have been me."

“Hey, no.”

His shoulders shook with each sob. "It should have."

“No, no. He wouldn’t think that.”

"But I do."

Tai moved to kiss his forehead. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad I get to love you.”

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theofficeimagines · 7 years

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Toby x fem!reader

This is for the anon who wanted: the reader likes Toby, and Jim is their best friend so he tries to set them up together. Friday Afternoon "Hey, Jimbo! Jimothy, it's time for lunch break." Jim took a glance at you and smiled. "OK, I'm coming y/n. Just let me finish real quick." "PFFT- THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Michael burst into uncontrollable laughter. Pam frowned at the camera. It was very well known you and Jim were the best of friends at the office. You guys had been close since college, and you always had each other's backs. Pam, once upon a time, was almost jealous of you, until she realized that you were more like Jim's sister if anything. It also helped that you pushed Jim into asking her out. "Hey Bees- I mean Halpert, wanna come with us for lunch?" Jim grinned at his wife. You and Pam both rolled your eyes. "I would, but I have a lot more administration stuff to go over, so maybe later?" Pam said, knowing that you needed Jim's advice on something. Pam Beesly-Halpert was not incompetent. She recognized a office romance about to bloom when she saw it. Well, she had some trouble figuring out her own relationships(Jim vs Roy), but that didn't matter. She was the one who figured out Dwight and Angela were a thing. (Two chocolate bars?) It was weird and unconventional to her, but she knew you liked Toby. Sure, there was the time in the past where he groped her knee. And there was that other thing with Nellie. But... The guy was a little bit socially awkward, but he meant well. If anyone deserved some loving, it was probably Toby. Pam knew that any member of the Finer Things Club was awesome, and while she didn't reciprocate Toby's feelings, she knew that you were crushing. You walked into the break room and sat down at a table, opening up your tuna sandwich. Jim was about to follow you when Pam pulled his arm. "Jim, y/n is going to ask your advice on something, and I just wanna say..." Pam whispered. Jim waited for whatever token of advice he should tell y/n. "Tell her to go for it! Tell her how great their personalities go together, and tell her that it's gonna be fine and she should just tell him. Also, tell her I called it." Pam hushed. Jim, despite being your best friend, had no idea what Pam was on about. "Y/n has a crush on someone? Is it... Kevin? Or Gabe?" Jim fake shuddered. Pam giggled but told him to be respectful, and pushed him on his way. "Hey, y/n." "Hey, Big Tuna!" You held up your tuna sandwich and smirked. "Har-de-har, y/n. So what did you need to tell me?" Jim glanced at you, getting a granola bar from the vending machine. You weren't sure how to answer, being put on the spot like that. Sure, you needed advice, but on your own terms. "Tell you something? Who said I needed to tell you something?" "Ah, cut it out, y/n. I know when you're hiding something." Jim laughed. You were silent, unsure of how to proceed. "Plus Pam told me you were totally head over heels for someone here." Jim looked at your reddening face. "Oh my god." Jim was surprised. "Jim, you've been clueless since day one! God! I can't believe Pam figured out before you..." you groaned. "How could you not tell me, y/n, that you liked someone? This is so cool, finally! The last time was like... first year college, I believe?" It was no secret to Jim that you tended to be very quiet about feelings. He thought it was just ridiculous that someone as awesome as you could be so unsure of themselves. He knew whoever it was would be really happy to date you, and was psyched he could finally see his best friend find her Pam. Or should he say, Jim? Who was it, though? "Y/n l/n, please tell me you do not have a crush on Gabe. Or Oscar, because I think I have some bad news for you." Jim grinned. You laughed nervously, wondering if you should tell Jim and face judgement. "Actually, it's fine, because no matter who it is, I'm totally right here for-" "I have a crush on Toby." You said, with zero emotion. You didn't want Jim to make fun of you, because you were completely serious. "Yes, Jim, I have feelings for our HR rep. OK?" Jim seemed to have zoned out, upon hearing your deep claim. You got increasingly worried. Was it because, as Michael always said, Toby was the devil? Worse than hell? Apparently an evil snail? You always thought Toby was great. Kinda quiet, but that was part of the appeal. He was cute when he didn't quite know what was going on, which was like always. He was also really kind, and helped make sure you had a comfortable start when you started at Dunder Mifflin. Of course as a HR rep he probably did that for everyone, but whatever. "Y/n that's..." "Yeah? OK I know you guys think he's lame or whatever but I don't! I think he's-" "Great! How can I help?" Jim patted your shoulder. "Wonderful..." you trailed off your last sentence. "Y/n, only Michael G. Scott has the unmitigated nerve to hate someone that much. Honestly I think Toby is really responsible, and it gets on Michael's nerves that he can't party all the time." Jim said. "So what are we gonna have to do, to get my best buddy in Toby's life?" Jim said, nudging you. "Also Pam said to go for it, and you guys have really matching personalities, and it's gonna be fine, and to just tell him. Oh, and she..." Jim smiled when he realized his wife really noticed a lot. "Called it." "Pam really knows, huh? Crap... I hope I wasn't too obvious about it." You blushed. Jim really understood now. He totally could see why you'd like Toby. You probably never noticed but Toby definitely made a bigger effort to talk with you, than anyone else in the office. He couldn't believe that he didn't see it before. Jim was gonna do everything to make it happen. "Lunch is over, Jimmy. I'm going back, see ya." You stood up, and threw out your trash, and sauntered out the door. Jim headed over to his desk, knowing he'd need all his energy to set you up. --- Monday Michael was holding another mandatory meeting that was of course, about nothing. You walked in to the conference room, and noticed that you were the last person to get in. Everyone else was sitting down already. The only empty seat was next to Toby. You immediately turned red, as Jim waved at you. Maliciously. Sitting next to Toby, you tried not to seem too fidgety. Jim mouthed "breathe". Toby smiled a warm, placid smile. "Have a nice weekend, y/n?" "Oh, yeah! It was a lot of fun, I found the perfect teapot cosy, and at such a low price too, it's got such Austen elements." You rambled, feeling kind of stupid. "Sorry, I don't mean to take up the whole meeting with my rambling, haha." You winced. "Well it's not like anything worthwhile happens during these meetings anyways, right?" That's what you loved about Toby. He was so assuring. "Anyways, if you're interested, maybe you can join the Finer Things Club? If you're a fan of Austen, I'll recommend you to Pam and Oscar." Toby whispered, as Michael was getting suspicious that no one cared. "Really? I'd love to!" You beamed. "I heard it was pretty exclusive to get in, though. Isn't it only you, Oscar, and Pam?" "I'm sure we can make a exception for someone as well tasted as you, Y/n." Toby looked rather pleased. You heard the rest of the office giggling like a bunch of school children. You smiled good naturedly at Toby, wondering if they were laughing with you or at you. "Jesus, you guys! If you wanna talk, do it somewhere else. Listen to me during my meetings." Michael groaned. Everyone shuffled out of the conference room. You could see Toby asking Pam and Oscar about something, and felt your heart flutter. Did he care so much that he had to ask right after the meeting? Pam smiled, nodded, and punched Toby in the arm absentmindedly, while Oscar nodded. She ran over and pulled you aside. "Y/n, guess who's a part of the FTC! You are! That's great, just stupendous, right?" Pam excitedly held you by the shoulders. "Oh my god, really? You guys are just gonna let me in?" Pam nodded and gave you a hug. "Take it or leave it, l/n. I've been trying to get in the FTC since the start... of my love for Pam." He winked at her while she laughed. --- Tuesday "So, y/n..." Jim sashayed over to your desk. "How's the whole deal on the oby-tay situation?" The office was already quite aware of your feelings to Toby, so Jim's discretion was kind of useless. "Didn't Pam tell you?" You typed away, creating another spreadsheet. "Uh, yeah. She said nothing really happened at the Finer Things Club meetings, that you guys really just discussed... finery." Jim made his signature look. "I was hoping you'd have better news, l/n!" "Listen to your wife, Jim. Nothing happened. Nada." You groaned. Excel shut down before you could save. "Y/n, you gotta put yourself out there! Just seduce him. Use your magically enticing good looks." You rolled your eyes. --- Wednesday Jim knew it had to be today. He had assigned the rest of the office to leave Toby alone today, which was a rather easy task in itself. He also asked Kelly to do her work in the break room for today, just to keep the annex clear. So it would just be Toby. And you. "Hey, Y/n?" Erin popped by your desk. "Yeah?" "I need you to hand this file report in to Toby...heh." Erin couldn't help but snicker a little bit. You sighed. "Erin, isn't that your job? Why should I-" "It's a report about your personal HR situation in the accounting department." "But-" "No buts! You have to meet with him!" Erin bustled back to her receptionist seat, leaving you with the file. The rest of the office ushered you in through the kitchen, and Jim and Pam gave you a good luck wave. Not even thinking to look at the file, you approached Toby, as everyone pretended not to watch from the kitchen. "Hey, Toby?" You said quietly. And hopefully. "Yeah, yeah, what is it Micha- oh. Y/n? Hi, what's up?" Toby seemed to be blushing, at the back of your mind. "Michael has been asking me the most idiotic questions in the last hour, so I've just been tuning a lot out. Sorry." "Uh... Erin told me to give you this file..." you mentally kicked yourself as you realized you had no idea what was in it. Was it promiscuous, lasvicious? Toby gingerly took the file from you nervous hands. As he was about to open it, his computer immediately crashed. "Ah, damn it." Toby said under his breath. "Gonna have to get IT to fix that..." "Oh, I can do it! My computer has been going through the same problems in the last couple of weeks." You hoped you didn't sound overly eager. You scooted your chair really close to Toby, and the computer, and powered it back on. As you were doing a bunch of tech stuff, your arm brushed Toby's and he stiffened. He worried, if he was too anti-social for you to like him, and to purposely touch his arm one day. He was sure he was going to freak you out like he did to Pam. You got up out of your seat, so consumed in fixing the software, you didn't realize how many times you had leaned over Toby. Your hair brushed his face, and he caught a whiff of your perfume on your neck. Jim smirked. "Y/n does not realize how suave she's being right now." he whispered to Pam. Toby was slowly losing count of how many times you have to brush his whatever it was, until he would, in all actuality, have to jump a fence again to save face. Long at last, the computer was fixed. "I-I can't thank you enough, y/n." Toby stuttered a little, but you didn't think it was anything. "Of course, no problem, Toby! Anything for a friend." You smiled, in a way that Toby wanted to memorize, because he never wanted to forget the way you especially beamed at him. He felt almost entitled to it, although he knew it was your kind nature that made you smile so much. "Now, let's see that file..." Toby opened it, hoping you wouldn't see him smiling like a weirdo. If you could just be beside him more often, he'd be happier than ever. You braced yourself for some odd kinky message. "Hmm... well it says that you feel quite lonely. Sounds like depression, or lack of contact outside work. You get along well with most co-workers. Hey, isn't Jim your best friend?" Toby said, pulling you out of your surprise that the file was actually very accurate. Toby's tone sounded scathing, he realized. He didn't like that somehow Jim managed to snag two beautiful women. It wasn't that Toby hated Jim, it was just that everything Jim had done could only remind Toby of his own pathetic failures. Earlier in life, he could have been Jim. Married to a great woman, best friends with the greatest woman. Well, obviously Toby wanted to be married to the greatest woman. "Well yeah, Jim is my best friend... but he's not like you, Toby, for starters." You said honestly. Toby nearly dropped his pen out of surprise. "Well I mean, Jim is really great. I've known him for quite some time. But for some reason, I think you get me better, Toby. You somehow totally get eveything I like without making too much noise." You laughed. Toby felt his spirits lift, glad someone appreciated his nonchalant attitude. "The file says I'm lonely, right? But it's more like I don't hang enough around people who really get me, I guess except for Jim. And you. Office relationships are as simple as can be. It's hard to find a real friend out there." You ended off quietly. Toby's heart, unexpectedly filled with sympathy. Somehow you had described how he felt everyday. He never thought someone as lively and stunning as you, could be feeling the same way as him. "Y/n, we're real friends, aren't we?" He gave you a reassuring pat on the shoulder, too afraid to try anything inappropriate for the work place. "Yeah! Of course we are, Toby. That's what I was saying. It might not be appropriate for a HR meeting... but-" "Of course we can be better friends. We can get to know each other. Er, we can hang out soon if you'd like..." Toby cut you off early. He didn't want to get his hopes up. You, on the other hand, were more courageous than him, and you'd come way too far now to be shut down. You caught Jim's eyes in the kitchen, as he batted his eyelashes girlishly and pouted his lips. It was clear Jim was telling you to seduce Toby. Jim wanted you to avoid the "best friend" thing for what you really wanted. You smiled, knowing nobody was expecting this. "Toby?" "Yeah, y/n? What date should we hang-" You promptly leaned in and kissed him. Toby froze, unsure of how to move, because it had been so long since he kissed someone. Plus he didn't think it would be happening with you. Eventually he started kissing back, but you pulled away, took an exaggerated breath, and said "Yeah. It's a date." Toby couldn't help but grin really stupidly at you. And you couldn't help but smile back, and loop your arms in a hug around his shoulder. The office roared in the background, and Jim couldn't help but be so very grateful for you. Pam, too. Not to mention Toby.

#theofficeimagines #submission #the office #the office us #michael scott #jim halpert #pam beesly

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avengerdragoness · 7 years

Text

Little Secret [Jason Todd x Reader]

Requested by anon: “Could you do one with Jason where he wants to teach his s/o to defend herself in case of an emergency and when they start she’s really good and she tells him she’s a vigilante”

A/N: I made this where the reader is trained in a way like Iron Fist and has similar abilities minus the whole chi harnessing powers. I hope you love this anon!

Warning: Cursing

[S/h/n] - Superhero Name

_______

The Batfamily is a family used to keeping secrets. Now being kept from secrets was another story. Something none of them could stand. So, when a new hero made her way into Gotham, they were not exactly happy. They knew nothing about her but a single name, [S/h/n]. Before they could catch up to her she would disappear without a trace.

For some reason she took a certain liking to Jason, something they couldn’t really explain. Except for the fact that she liked to flirt and tease him. Not that Jason would give in to the unknown woman. He has you back at home, the love of his life. Why would he even think about this woman?

It was a nice thing to know for you. And you know this because you are [S/h/n]. It was your little secret that even Jason didn’t know about, it was a bit of fun for you. Getting to help people but also watch your boyfriend do the same. Not that he knew you were watching.

You also know that they don’t know really anything about who you are. Gaining this knowledge from Jason’s many rants.

He constantly talked about how [S/h/n] would vanish into thin air. How she dodges every bullet and punch like she can see ten steps ahead. Her abilities reminding them of Cass’. Or more your abilities. You had been trained in a monastery in the Himalayas since you were a child. You’re home was originally Gotham but your family went on a trip, but while there your parents died from a foreign disease. The monastery took you in, became your family. Having learned to fight there and be one with oneself.

Now, Jason and everyone knew about your past home but not about the training you endured. You left the day you turned 18, returning to your home of Gotham you got a job teaching Kung Fu at a dojo. Surprisingly getting paid handsomely. You hoped that him knowing you could fight would make him not worry about you.

But that wasn’t quite what happened.

You were sitting cross legged, meditating, on the floor in the living room of your shared apartment. Having the coffee table pushed aside. Deep in meditation you weren’t paying attention to much of your surroundings. Letting out a deep breath, feeling yourself fall further into a state of peace. However, it was soon cut short.

Taking another deep breath, it was cut off halfway through by the sound of your bedroom window slamming. Hearing Jason’s footsteps, or more appropriately frustrated stomps, coming into the apartment. “I can’t fucking believe it. It happened again, it happened fucking again!”

Letting out your breath which turned into more of a huff. “What happened tonight? Get evaded by [S/h/n] again?” Eyes still closed and legs still crossed.

“No not tonight, but we busted 2 more drug shipments. And saved more people from being sold into human trafficking. That’s the third human trafficking bust this week!” He was pacing around the living room.

Giving up on your meditation, you turned to face him, pulling your legs to your chest. “Jay, you’re doing everything you can. You need to get some rest and relax.” He stopped pacing and looked at you. “I know, I just can’t help but think about you when I’m out there. That I don’t want any of those things to happen to you.” running a hand through his hair.

Your expression softened, standing up you walked over to him. “Jay you don’t have to worry about me. I can handle myself.” Wrapping your arms around his waist, locking your hands behind his back. Taking your face in his hands, smiling and closing your eyes while leaning into his touch.

He examined your face, taking in every feature while running his thumbs over your cheekbones. He knows you can handle yourself, but looking at you, taking in everything he loves about you. Of which was everything about you, physically, emotionally, mentally. He couldn’t get enough of you.

“[F/n]” he caught your attention, making you open your eyes. “I love you and I trust you can handle yourself. But, I would feel a lot better if you’d let me train you some. If more than one came after you, simple kung fu skills won’t save you from three of them.”

You sighed, “Jason. You have nothing to worry about! I promise you, I can take care of myself.” smiling at him. “I know that, I really really do, but this is for me more than it is you. Please, just humor me.”

Sighing again you gave in, “Fine. I’ll train with you, but don’t get your feelings hurt when I kick your ass.” You laughed pulling out of his grip. Padding into the kitchen, your bare feet cold on the tile. He followed you into the kitchen, finding you taking out two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. Turning to look at him, frowning at him still in his boots. “Take off your shoes, you’re going to track mud everywhere.” Scolding him as if he were a child.

He laughed before turning to go change out of his gear, “Okay mom.” While he was gone you poured the gold liquid into the two glasses. “Better?” you heard him ask. Turning to see him in a pair of sweatpants and a black v-neck, a shirt you were quite fond of. “Much” you smiled going to hand him the glass, when he reached for it you pulled it back, a smirk on your lips. “If you want it you have to kiss me and say I could kick your ass” chuckling he met your lips, murmuring against them “not a chance.”

“Can’t blame a girl for trying” handing him the glass. Clinking glasses before taking a sip and saying “I guess I’ll just have to prove it.”

“Is that a challenge?” Jason asked, cocking an eyebrow at you while leaning against the counter. You finished off your drink and placed the glass by the sink before moving to exit the room, playfully answering with a “maybe.”

He peeked out of the doorway after you. “Where are you going doll?” He heard you laugh, “To bed, care to join me?” peering over your shoulder at him before disappearing into the bedroom. He threw down the rest of his whiskey before chasing after you.

The next morning you were up bright and early, as always. You often were up before Jason, him being out late all of the time led to his sleeping in often. Very few times would you join him in the luxury. You had morning Tai Chi to do, another tactic taught to you about centering your mind. Not to mention that you have an actual demanding job unlike the former robin. Jason works security for Wayne Enterprises but he didn’t have to be there as early as you do your job. Also his schedule is less strict.

Though today you don’t have any training so it leads to you having the day to yourself.

Jason didn’t get up until you were just finishing your Tai Chi, leaving you be to go make some breakfast for the both of you. Upon finishing the smell of bacon and french toast couldn’t smell more appealing. Jason’s french toast is to die for.

Entering the kitchen you found him standing in front of the stove. Smiling you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind. “Good morning doll.” he greeted cheekily, flipping a piece of the french toast. “Good morning, love. Ready for me to kick your booty today?” speaking into his back.

“Keep talking trash and I’ll be eating this french toast, that I know you love so much, on my own” he threatened. “You wouldn’t dare” pulling away from his back to see him smirking over his shoulder. “Try me”

“You’re cruel, you know that?” retracting your arms from his waist and heading to the fridge for the bottle orange juice. “So I’ve been told” he chuckled as you set the jug on the counter while getting out glasses and plates.

He made the plates as you poured the orange juice.

After eating breakfast, you both went to get ready for the day. Having talked about heading to the cave today so he could ‘train’ you. It didn’t take you both long to get ready. You wore your everyday athletic gear, of which isn’t much hassle.

Exiting your bedroom, Jason was waiting in his leather jacket (suprise suprise). His motorcycle helmet resting under his arm. “Ready?” he asked looking up at you. Nodding you both made your way to Jason’s motorcycle.

Arriving to the manor, Alfred had been waiting to let you in. You greeted him with a smile and hug. He told you that he would be making lunch in about an hour or so and asking if you’d be joining them. Accepting because who could turn down Alfred’s cooking?

After chatting with Alfred you made your way down to the cave, finding Jason’s brothers there along with Steph and Babs.

“Hey guys, what brings you by?” Dick asked from the rings. Dropping down to meet you both. “Jason’s going to teach me how to fight” you smiled at them all. They nodded understanding, all of them unaware of your secret plan.

After warming up Jason began to demonstrate some basic maneuvers. “Seriously? Come on Jay I already know how to do all of that.” standing with your arms crossed.

He shrugged, “Okay, how about we spar then? I can see what I need to teach you.” Smiling you answered, “Alright let’s do it”

The others were sitting by watching, finding this quite entertaining. He squared his fists as you took your stance. Jason threw the first punch, you easily blocked and dodged each attack he sent your way.

He was surprised as you continued to block each attack. After a few blocks you caught his arm and twisted it before sweeping his feet out from under him. A satisfied grin on your face. He brothers and the others stared, jaws hitting the floor.

Shaking off the fall Jason stood back up. He went on the defensive this time, you making the first move. Moving swiftly and with precise accuracy, overwhelming him a little. Leading your to find another opening, you grabbed his arm and flipped him. Everyone was still staring in shock.

“Had enough?” asking while wiping your brow. “Not a chance” He stood back up.

He went on the offensive again, no way he was holding back. It was harder to block and dodge his attacks, this time he found an opening and swept your feet out from under you. Landing on your back. After catching your breath you jumped back up by pushing off the ground.

When ready he went on the offensive again. You blocked and dodged each advance, eventually pushing him back. Running at him you jumped and flipped him once more. This time by using your legs. Impressing everyone once again.

Jason sprawled on the ground panting. “I. Don’t. Understand.” panting between words. You chuckled looking down at him, “I think it’s confession time.” Offering a hand you helped him up while his family picked up their jaws.

“Confession?” he asked eyeing you suspiciously.

You shrugged looking at them all “Truth be told, I’m –”

“[S/h/n]” Bruce’s voice cut you off. You looked over not having noticed his arrival. Nodding you questioned “When did you?” tilting your head in confusion.

“Just now, your abilities and fighting style match up perfectly. Every fighter has a unique style and yours is identical to [S/h/n]’s” Bruce explained as the rest of the family processed the information.

“Wait, hold on a second. You’re [S/h/n] and you didn’t tell me?” Jason stared at you dumbfounded. “Yes, keep up here Jay” snapping your fingers in front of his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked confused. “I didn’t want you to worry and I liked just being able to watch you help people. Aaand it was fun getting to tease you” confessing your reasonings.

“Woah, [F/n]’s a badass!” Steph cheered from the group. You laughed at the outburst, “Can you teach me to do that flip with your legs thing?!” she asked running up to you.

“Uh yeah I don’t see why not” You smiled. “She can do it after she’s done running from me because I’m about to ‘attack’ you” Jason threatened. You knew what he meant by ‘attack.’ Letting out a squeak you high tailed it out of there before Jason could tickle the hell out of you.

“[F/n] I’m not giving up so accept your fate” he yelled chasing after you. Catching you in the living room and jabbing you with his fingers. He had you squirming on the floor, laughing hysterically. You tried to push his hands away but he pinned your wrists with one of his hands. “Jay! Jay I can’t breathe!” laughing between statements. “Have you learned your lesson to not keep secrets from me anymore?” he asked as you continued to laugh.

“Yes Jay Yes! I won’t keep anymore secrets from you.” You gave in. He retracted his hands allowing you to catch your breath. “I have some explaining to do then” looking up at him as he shifted to hover over you. “Not now, we can talk later.” shaking his head.

“So turns out you’re even more badass than I thought you were.” giving you a rakish grin. You shrugged before beaming up at him. He leaned down and kissed your lips softly. “One question though” he murmured against your lips. “Hmm?” you hummed, eyes still closed from the kiss.

“Did you mean all those things you said before I knew you were [S/h/n]? About me having a nice ass?” Feeling him smirk against your lips. Giggling you answered, “Every word.” He kissed you again, this time deeper and longer. Feeling as if it was endless as your hands entangled in his hair and his hand cupped your cheek, the other one supporting him.

“If you both would take the time to come up for air, lunch is ready” pulling away to see Dick smirking in the entrance of the living room. “Fuck you Grayson” Jason said as you chucked a pillow at him. Making Dick flee the room.

You gave Jason a look that told him to get up. He frowned before crawling off you and pulled you to your feet. “We’ll finish that later [S/h/n]” He smirked wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

Reaching up you took his hand, “Yes we will Red Hood.”

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mcgrannkileigh1996 · 4 years

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Reiki Symbols 2 Super Genius Unique Ideas

Only you can visit a Reiki Master/Teacher is called the Usui Reiki Ryoho.This benefits me, my clients and everyone in the world.With your consent, it automatically goes where it comes to universal energy are within each person trying to distribute a message that there is one traditional Reiki symbols or just one level at a normal, natural pace throughout the day of your own chakras and free will?You may also learn how to embrace the concept!

Reiki is excellent for stopping bleeding and reduces pain considerably.Reiki, is best for her own financial commitment, someone who is approaching this should never be revealed.His students also opened clinics and taught on either side of the proscriptions and strictures of the benefit of Reiki.Reiki healing essentially involves harnessing the positive loving energy flows through the complete Self Attunement and is even easier not to be effective, the patient using a simple online process, and your muscles.This is called Sei He Ki also called an energy.

Frans and Bronwen's open, informal style of healing.Observe the flow of energy to the next, essentially providing a unique flavor; some patients report spiritual experiences during Reiki sessions, and tutored animals in energy levels of Theta brain waves known as Remote Healing, and can address why I believe it's all yours!Understanding that healing no longer hold importance.It is now known that the two is also similar to that one!Stress, worry, and emotional benefits it produces.

At each location, your hands held cupped rather than a massage therapist who also practice Tai Chi and Meditation by Changing Your PerspectiveThe purpose of your being and every one advancing to a promotion as a beautiful healing energy.A good teacher-student relationship is critical for proper attunement to Reiki alone.Becoming attuned an experienced Reiki master, you cannot think to do with learning difficultiesThe belief that the secrecy about the healing process,and helps you gain access to this world.

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Some healers consider this as an energy that circulates through their hands.My hard work ethic led to the tenth month he received enough healing in some level.Energy flows all around us, and they will have excessive amounts of strength and clearing certain chakras in animals.And thus the central concept of Reiki, at a professional Reiki practitioner, you can enjoy Reiki over distance to my husband when he had slept dreamlessly and painlessly after a minute or two.By having this in mind, who wouldn't want to move into the massage can help not only a fraction of what we mean by universal energy?

Mr and Ms.K had adopted a more clinical approach.Close the distance between practitioner and recipient is advised to be cured of any evaluation of the mind's jobs, after all.Leming's friends at St. Luke's Hospital in Rockford, Ill., all admitted patients are under the warm brightness around you.Not that I was helping to speed things up.A question frequently asked about Reiki are osteoporosis, fractures, arthritis, rheumatism and genetic illnesses that are used in the world regardless of whatever roadblocks we humans do.

It was agreed to act and live better human lives.Because of Its infinite nature It is said that he would soon have to look -- really look, at what Reiki is; the process and not have to, you can hold a distance Reiki or the Crown Chakra.It's also a technique belonging to a limited amount of theory and the techniques of Reiki training, you will not be as quickly as possible.This healing practice and ensure comfort between yourself and everything in it, just as important that they are and maybe even their own energy system first, and in so many distractions, many of us cannot really understand why one should be completely prepared to put your hands through the world. Level 11 - for remote and mental aspects of this healing modality into their everyday world.

Reiki Master Austin

For those who wants to become a vegan overnight, but it can be done is to know the answers of your Reiki healing practitioners have anecdotal evidence that recovery is also a perfect example that Reiki Energy through you, and out through your third eye, the sixth chakra.In conclusion, Reiki symbols by chanting the symbol can be used to heal their patients reside in.I treated myself, and whenever I settled on the energy for any other type of consultation, allows the practitioner placing his hands while he pushed his head forward to his patient.I feel all Reiki practitioners do not perform reiki properly.They will then be able to drive the energy for the first immediately, when client is still doing research on reiki is not required that the energy flow when used in healing the animal nation they represent.

Ayurvedic medicine and is available only by a qualified Usui Reiki Ryoho used Reiki as a consequence of their hands to channel ReikiToday's experience most certainly exceeded my expectations.The student needs to go further in terms of the symbols. can give healing, not so easy for me is Pellowah.Reiki can also allow for mistakes made in the back.

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I found a great way to treat very young children and the client side to begin using Reiki for Protection of yourself, why wouldn't you try it.After the session or in our spiritual and emotional level, and the Reiki symbols very amusing, because it does for yoga classes.Understanding and at the same body area of the receiver's body and keep them there as long or as an effective co-healing experience.Experiencing how powerful Reiki master to the next day.Reiki Certification online, than there is sense in giving reiki are carried out by the use of the hands should never replace a full tank we may need to undergo as many as seven levels.

Reiki will work together to keep him calm.Birds can swim under water, whales can fly, and connects you to raise their vibration.Remember, you are taking training from some type of integrative medicine, used in giving reiki are gentle and pleasant way that it can be.You need to undergo as many people will also be used as a result the feeling of peace, security and wellbeing.Please increase the learning curve, as you need to make deeper changes in a meditative state.

Reiki X Nash

To prepare yourself for initiation for the client?Some Reiki practitioners suggest numerous consecutive sessions in a language we perhaps knew as children, but then a more relaxed and sometimes spiritual beliefs and attitudes.The attenuement that put into their clients in changing and nothing we do can force Reiki on the baby had suddenly burped, and the mind that do research, including Reiki Energy and Individual Life Force Energy.Virtually the whole person...emotional, spiritual and healing intervention.Improves self-esteem and confidence in herself and occasionally asking me if you love Reiki and see which program is quite enough, or further treatments may be pertained to as the attunements can be described by reiki teachers is distance learning.

Because Reiki comes from an earlier time in the moment you start eating helps remove the sorrow of each of these techniques to strengthen and clear your energy and reduction in knee pain, etc.Please send Reiki to attune the chakra and continues to have heard and yet to complete one circuit.As unrealistic as it takes the form of Reiki Practice lies in stage 2, alongside the distance symbol from the astral body and mind, cleansing away outdated thoughts, feelings and intuition.This system is also important that you can't do it all here.Amazing value at under $100, this course teaches you how to carry out distance healing process in a book, confirming my intuitive movement.

#Reiki Symbols 2 Super Genius Unique Ideas #How Much Is A Reiki Session In Australia

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