#he KNOWS hes wrong he knows its awful. he does it bc ‘’i got in line so should these brats’’

[vaugarde]

in regards to the last post i rb’d can we stop acting like being part of an oppressed group means we’re incapable of being oppressive

[mrfoox]

I'm going to struggle to sleep and get up tomorrow

Curse it all

[hereticsgravesite]

.

[tommiruewrites]

Hi! I would like to request a Tewksbury x fem’Reader (romantic)! Reader is Enola Holmes’ sister

So basically, I was hoping for this to take place in Enola Holmes 2 in the theater fight scene. If you remember, Enola almost gets stabbed, but her corset protected her. So what if it was reader instead, and the corset didn’t protect her? Reader does finish the fight like in the movie because she’s just a girlboss like that and has that whole moment with Tewksbury after, but the stab wound finally takes its toll. That’s sort of just the base of the idea, you can do whatever you come up with after that! I sort of think of this as an angst + fluff? Thank you!

Just a Little Longer - V.T.

word count: 1.2k

requested: yes | no requests: open | closed request rules here

warnings: fem!reader, fluff to angst (but mostly angst bc i love to make myself miserable but in a cute poetic way), brief mentions of fighting, talk of blood, major injury, main character death, best friends to lovers/idiots in love, tragedy, holmes!reader, NOT PROOFREAD

a/n: i'm SOOOO sorry, ik it's been ages since you put in this ask, but my adhd slump was a pain in my ass. it has finally been forcibly lifted (by yours truly) bc i want to write again, and i found the start of this fic in my drafts and decided to finish it. i hope you're still active and able to read this, lovely anon! <3

remember to like, comment, and reblog to support my writing <3

part 2

· • —– ٠ ☆ ٠ —– • · • —– ٠ ☆ ٠ —– • · • —– ٠ ☆ ٠ —– • ·

Everything went by in a blur. You were fighting alongside Tewkesbury and Enola, dodging weapons and fists. The next thing you know, you’re on the floor, wind knocked out of you.

A loud crack rings out and you feel an intense pounding in your head, so you guess you must have hit it when you fell back. As you begin to stand, you feel a dull ache in your ribs. You look down to see the cause, and you thank the heavens that you’re wearing one of those god-awful corsets you've always hated so much. Shouldn’t leave more than a nasty bruise.

You hear Tewksbury —who’s still fighting from across the room— call out your name to make sure you’re alright, but you don’t have time to respond. Your sister reaches a hand out to help you up off the floor as she dodges a hit. A bit preoccupied in a fight of her own she misses the silver handle sticking out of your corset.

“Are you alright?” she screams over the chaos.

You stand firm on your feet, still staring down your opponent. “Fine. Just a little fall, nothing I can’t handle.” Pulling the blade from your abdomen, you miss the red glint of blood as you resume the fight.

———————

The battle is over, and the energy is high. You and Tewkesbury bounce off the walls blabbering on about the recent events, adrenaline running through you while Enola concludes the investigation with your brother, Sherlock.

“Did you see me! I got some really good ones in there. Think I got him in the nose!”

You laugh, breath like shard of glass in your lungs from the cold, "You were wonderful! Just like I showed you."

He beams at that, his cheeks glowing a warm pink, which he hopes could be chalked up to the biting chill outside, “You didn’t do so bad out there yourself.”

“Not bad?” you scoff, "You must have missed the look on that guy’s face when I threw him across the room!"

You both laugh softly, your breath visible in the winter air. You ignore the tight feeling in your lungs.

Suddenly you’re both hyper aware of the lack of space between you. Looking between his cold pink lips and his glassy doe eyes, you hold your breath as he begins to lean closer.

Just as you feel his intoxicating lips graze yours, your knees buckle beneath you. You try to steady yourself against Tewksbury, hand pressed against his chest, as he quickly grabs your waist to hold you up. He chuckles a bit as he tries to help you regain your footing, but immediately stops when notices that you’re practically limp in his hold.

“What's wrong? Talk to me.”

It feels like your chest is collapsing in on itself, and your head starts to spin. “Oh- I’m fine. Just cold.” Mostly reassuring yourself, nothing bad could happen right? You won after all. You beat them. Your family is safe and your best friend that you've been in love with for years is finally kissing you. Those are all good things. Really good things. So it's just the cold making you feel weak and breathless, right?

“I’m just really, really tired.”

Just as you begin to stand up straighter, sharp pain shoots through your stomach and your knees buckle again, causing Tewkesbury to almost fall over. He panics when he hears a gasp that sounds too much like you’re in pain.

“Enola! Something’s wrong!”

Enola and Sherlock stop their current debate and immediately notice your uncharacteristically frail state, rushing over to help Tewkesbury get you on the ground. They sit you down as quickly as possible without hurting you, your back to Tewksbury’s chest so he can keep you stable. His shaky hand tremble against your hips as he surveys your body for injuries. Enola kneels to be eye-level with you, “What's going on? Are you hurt?”

"No-" You nod your head, "I'm fine, I just-" you cut yourself short, unable to create a more convincing reply as a groan of pain rips through you. Thats when Enola notices a deep tear in your dress.

“Her corset. Take off her corset!”

Enola and Sherlock work to quickly remove the thick article of clothing, Tewksbury squeezing your hand reassuringly when you wince at the movement of him lifting your arms. Once the corset is successfully removed, a deep cut reveals itself, crimson red seeping through your under-dress. "Oh my god-"

You look up, the concern in Tewkesbury’s voice making you nervous. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

Enola grabs your focus when she presses her hands against your wound.

"Oh..."

Sherlock frantically removes his coat to tie around you and try to stop the bleeding. “Nothing's wrong. Nothing at all. You’re going to be just fine.” He rambles out, trying to calm both you and himself.

In your hazy state you can't fully sense the anxiety all around you, or how serious your injury truly is. You only register one thing. You’re going to be just fine. Your brother would never lie to you. Not ever.

Your breathing begins to slow as you relax, leaning your head back against Tewkesbury's shoulder. You begin to feel your own shoulder dampen. Looking over at the cause, you see Tewksbury’s face tacked with glistening streaks down his cheeks, staring at Enola and Sherlock frantically try to stop the bleeding as he helps where he can.

“Tewks?” His eyes jump to yours, sniffling. “What's the matter? Why are you crying?”

Much to your dismay, that makes him cry harder. "Nothing’s the matter."

You reach a weak hand up to wipe tears from his cheek as more roll down in their place. “Then why are you crying?”

There’s a long pause, your sibling’s desperate shouting falling deaf on your ears as a faint ringing replaces it. "I’m just so proud of you is all."

You smile at that, "I'm proud of you too, fighter." You tease. He chuckles weakly, not surprised that your wit is still intact even as you're bleeding out. Your eyes begin to feel heavy as you stare into his, eyelids fluttering open and closed.

“Hey! Hey, keep your eyes open for me. Just a little bit longer.” He stammers, squeezing your hand to keep you awake. "We just need a few more minutes. Just a few more minutes, and then you can rest, alright?"

You groan in discomfort, feeling all of your energy go into the one simple task as your body begins to feel floaty and numb. “Tired.”

“I know, I know. Just a little longer. I promise everything will be fine. I promise. Just please, don’t close your eyes.” He sobs out desperately, interlacing his fingers with yours.

Enola and Sherlock keep trying everything in their power to stop the bleeding, sobbing and begging for anything to work. For you to be okay. You try your best to keep your eyes open for them, you really do, but it’s just too difficult. You can hear distant shouts of your name as you finally let the peaceful darkness consume you.

[watercolorofthemoon]

i forced my roommate to watch both LOTR and The Hobbit with me. Here are some highlights

LOTR:

Roomie: I like this gandalf dude Me: Oh yeah me too. he's a bit questionable sometimes but we love him

30 seconds later, gandalf fighting saruman: Roomie: NO MY SKRUNKLY

Roomie: awe sam is a precious boy Me, internally: oh you dont even know the half of it

merry and pippin stealing crops: Roomie: ARE THEY THE BASTARD LITTLE BROTHERS?? me: I mean i gues- Roomie: FOUND FAMILY LETS FUCKING GO

Elrond being disappointed and having strong eyebrows: Roomie: i feel like i've let down my dad and i dont even have a dad

Roomie: i don't really like boromir that much- me, pausing the movie to explain why boromir is extremely valid: I WILL HAVE NO BOROMIR SLANDER Roomie: is this bc he's a himbo

Roomie: this thorin guy sounds pretty gay if he's given bilbo this thing thats worth more than the shire me, internally: YOU HAVE NO IDEA MOTHERFUCKER

gandalf dying: roomie: NO MY BOY

roomie: please tell me gimli and legolas are gay, because everyone else seems extremely straight me: they arguably one of the gayest duos, yes. roomie: oh good. i thought they straight-washed sam for no reason me: i mean. there are a lot of frodo and sam moments that have no heterosexual explanation viggo breaking his toes: me, practically bursting at the seams: roomie: oh god what is it me: DID YOU KNOW-

gandalf is alive: roomie: FUCK YEAH MY BOY

me, explaining the uruk-hai: roomie: fucked up of a yas character to do that tbh (referring to saruman's manicure)

theoden being stubborn at helm's deep: roomie: okay i like him BUT COME ONNN MAN

eowyn picking up merry before they ride to gondor: roomie: I KNOW I WANTED TO KISS HER FOr A REASON MWAH MWAH EOWYN me:...she gets a bf roomie: NOT ANYMORE

aragorn: for frodo roomie, bursting into tears: me: whoa whoa u good roomie: ITS HIS DAD. ITS FRODO'S DAD.

sam literally carrying frodo up a mountain: roomie:...thats a bit gay mount doom blowing up: roomie: thats unecessary and homophobic

frodo sailing to the undying lands: roomie: TAKE YOUR BOYFRIEND WITH YOU YOU COWARD

The Hobbit:

the scene with baby bilbo: roomie: NAUR I LOVE HIM

bilbo and gandalf interacting as adults: roomie: this feels like it could go very wrong thorin finally showing up: roomie: listen im gay but i'd consider it me: he's probably also gay roomie: mlm and wlw solidarity okay we're bffs now

bilbo running out of the door: roomie: again. this feels like this could go very wrong. me, internally: oh fuck how do they KNOW already

thorin throwing down his weapon bc bilbo got caught by trolls: roomie:....thats....sus. me:...if this is sus...oh boy...

thorin's obvious dislike of elves @ rivendell: roomie: okay so. explain to me why thorin doesn't like elves again- me: did you not watch the entire introduction to thorin? roomie: NO WAIT I REMEMBER THE BLOND BITCH

saruman showing up: roomie: ew.

galadriel showing up: roomie: HELLO SAILOR AWOOGA AWOOGA

bilbo and thorin nearly falling off at the mountain pass: thorin: he's been lost ever since he stepped out his front door roomie: WDYM YOU'RE ALL FUCKED UP- thorin stop being mean to your husband

the entirety of the goblin tunnels and gollum: roomie: this does not bode well. at all. the ring showing up: roomie: I WAS RIGHT

azog versus thorin scene: roomie: dumb bitch...OH NO DOES HE DIE- bilbo to the rescue: oh no its chill, just gay

the iconic carrock scene: roomie:....this is incredibly gay bestie me: i'm aware.

the entirety of the beorn's house arc: roomie: ...i like beorn. he's feral and skrunkly. so is radaghast.

legolas showing up: roomie: *surprised pikachu face*

tauriel and kili's interactions: roomie: damn i was hoping she would be gay me: i mean with the right headcanons she can totally be a lesbian roomie: UR SO RIGHT OMG

kili getting shot with arrow: roomie: NO THE GAYS-

the laketown master existing: roomie: EAT THE RICH.

bilbo and thorin on the boat together: roomie: oh they definitely fucked in laketown-

tauriel healing kili and them holding hands: roomie: oh no don't make me feel sad for straight ppl me: again. they don't have to be straight. roomie: I KNOW BUT ITS THE PRINCIPLE OF IT

bilbo waking up smaug: roomie: oh bilbo...oh you sweet summer child...you stupid bitch.

thorin threatening bilbo initially: roomie: oh fuck. it got worse. me, internally: oh honey. oh no.

thorin's gold sickness and then nearly killing bilbo at the ramparts: roomie: NO THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GAY AND HAPPY HOW COULD YOU

*doesn't say anything almost the entire battle until the kili and fili die* roomie: noooo the skrunklies NOOOOOOO

thorin, fucking dies in bilbo's arms: roomie: *turns to look at me with the most murderous look on her face* me: *nervous laughter* so about it getting worse- roomie: IM GOING TO KILL YOU.

end for now, if we end up watching trop together ill let yall know <3

[mamawasatesttube]

Do you have thoughts on how kon would be as a big brother to Chris and Jon? I've read Chris and Jon's comics and I'm writing a thing with them but I want to have their big brother be part of their character/internal problem solving even if he doesn't (as of yet) appear. But I've only read yj and superboy is unfinished/on my tbr so I'm going to the Expert

(If you have any thoughts opinions on Kara's familial relationships you can include those as well)

OOH OOH YES DO I EVER!!!!!

every time i think about kon as a big brother i immediately think of sb94 annual #2, which opens on kon taking a kid flying for his birthday and joking about him being superboy jr., kind of like his little brother. then we move to cadmus, where it turns out the prototypical experiment #1 (whereas kon was #13) has awoken and escaped his containment pod. he fights kon briefly, believing himself to be/wanting to be the "real" superboy, but is injured and collapses in kon's arms afterwards. it turns out he's not stable outside the pod and is dying; despite kon's best efforts to get the cadmus doctors to save him, he only lasts another few minutes. i'm personally never ever getting over kon's face when it happens (right after they both find out their dna donor was paul westfield):

SO!! with that being established backstory: i think kon would be soooo excited to be a big brother. he'd talk a big game and want the kids to think he's cool, and of course, he's a mega dork (he'd try to get them both into wendy, and if they didn't like it, he'd be offended). but imo, he's also gonna be so protective of them right off the bat, in large part because of poor clone #1. he's got a lot of feelings about people he's gotta protect, and little siblings are sooo high on that list.

one thing is that i don't think kon really thinks of clark as his dad. of course, it depends on the point in the timeline where you're really introducing chris and jon (because like kon was dead by the point of last son introducing chris, and fitting jon into new earth is always a fun puzzle), but (to be clear this is to an extent my hc also) by the time he's living with the kents, kon no longer wants superman to be his dad. i do think he does at first ("i wish i had parents" in sb94 #85 paired with how reactive he is about shooting down superman being his dad in sb94 #94), but when he moves in with the kents that dies down pretty fast. but he'd way rather the kids call him their big brother than, like, their uncle. that's so uncool (haha see, 'cuz uncle sounds kind of like uncool--aw, whatever)!!! it makes him sound so OLD!!!! he's not an uncle!!!

so overall i think it's like. he's a fun-loving and protective figure. they probably think he's So cool for a while, then get a little older and go oh wait. that's a dorklord. i do think jon throws one hell of a tantrum the day he finds out he's never gonna get ttk even if he grows into all the other kryptonian powers, though.

(i also hc that chris can get some weird funky powers other than ttk, not ttk itself, bc its like... kon is THE ttk guy, and thats a metagene designed to emulate kryptonian powers, so it feels a little weird to take something that specific and give it to another character who doesn't have any of the narrative reasons to need it. someone who knows more abt editorial please do correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm pretty sure they only gave chris ttk because prior to infinite crisis, the nightwing in new krypton shown to be using ttk was supposed to be kon, and was changed last-minute into chris.)

so like, he'd be a figure they can count on, someone they regard as always in their corner if they yell for him. he'll take the heat if they get in trouble (he spoils them. lois however has a very uncanny ability to tell if kon's taking the blame for something they did). i think as they grow older they might be like ...why's kon our brother but he doesn't live with us? and doesn't call our parents mom and dad? because kon stays with the kents but just hangs out with them all the time, and he calls clark and lois "clark and lois", and understanding that their family isn't nuclear might be a learning curve for them.

as for kara, i'll try and keep it brief bc this is already long i'm so sorry sdkhj but i generally operate in the realm of postcrisis kara, aka linda lang. she's roughly the same age as kon and she's got a Lot of feelings re: new krypton and her own guilt and her duty to her family, as well as whether she as supergirl can really measure up to superman. i love her. i think she would Adore having baby cousins because they mean her family is growing, after all the people she's lost. that said i think it's very possible she's a little awkward with kids because she just doesn't have that much experience with them. but i think she'd teach them to draw, and she'd really earnestly try with both of them. she'd LOVE to teach them about krypton, too.

[lovelybunn]

𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦.

warning(s): swearing, mentions of depression

author's note: I DONT HAVE FAVORITES I PROMISE this is a high-school au bc i'm trying to cope with it (even though i've only been there for a few weeks lmao)

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐇.

“ 𝐇𝐄𝐘, 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍! 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐀 𝐂𝐔𝐓𝐄 sweater you got there, bud! ” you give the boy a small smile. he frowns and looks around, pointing at himself. “ yes you, silly. who else in the class is named stanley? ” you giggle, stan glances away in embarrassment, “ o-oh. thanks, i guess. ” he sits down with a bit more force than he expects, causing him to cuss under his breath.

“ what’s wrong? ” you ask with genuine concern. without making eye contact with you, stan replies, “ nothing. just kinda stunned. ” as if just now realizing what he said, his eyes suddenly widen. his cheeks flare up, “ oh shit– i mean, tired. yeah, that's what i meant, not stunned. why would i be stunned? ” your worried face slowly melted into a teasing snicker. “ you're funny, stan marsh. ” with his face even more red that it originally was, he stammers, “ what are you talking about?! what's so funny, huh?! ”

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

manz doesn't know how to take a compliment tbh

he has a very low self esteem (bc of his depression), so he'll take anything he can get. beggars can't be choosers, right?

when he does get complimented, stan almost always gets all red and shit and it's so precioussss

he doesn't usually reply with some kind of counter compliment bc he sucks at talking to ppl :(

but the good thing is that he always repays you back in some way for the simple act of kindness to him of all ppl. you know that meme/phrase where its like “ *character* will remember that ”? yeah, that's stan marsh.

he doesn't automatically register when someone is speaking to him, so you prob will have to repeat yourself multiple times before he realizes that your even there lmao

ㅤ

ㅤ

𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐒𝐊𝐈.

𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄, 𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 to leave his hair down for school, and to be honest, you think his natural curls are gorgeous. you grin and wave at the ginger as he walks into class, placing his things down. “ sup, kyle! seems you know how to take very good care of that mane of yours, don't you? ” with pursed lips, he raises a brow inquisitively at you. “ hm? what's that's supposed to mean? ” your grin grows wider. “ it means i think your hair looks sick, man. ” kyle's screwed up expression slowly melts into slight shock. his face flushes into a deep red against his scattered freckles, “ aw, thank you. ” kyle smiles goofyily.

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

kyle doesnt expect kindness/flattery to ever be targeted towards him, mainly bc his friends are kinda dicks (AHEM CARTMAN AHEM)

but when he does get this kind of treatment, he's pleasantly surprised. especially when he's at his at most limit (which is pretty frequent), being able to hear that little positive thing said about him will help kyle rest peacefully for the rest of the day.

don't worry though, a genuine nice response will almost always come in exchange. (unless the poor boy is having a really bad day, then he'll prob just act like you simply don't exist)

kyle is very good at nick-picking certain specific quirks, behaviors, and traits of the ppl he adores. like with his baby brother ike, just one little head jerk or hand movement from ike, and kyle will instantly know exactly how his baby brother is feeling.

so, in relation to you complimenting him, he now is, of course, fond of you. (ex. your eyes look a little droopy one day at school? “ hey, (name), i brought some coffee in my bag, you can have some if you want. ”)

overall a sweet boy w/ anger issues but we don't talk about that :)))))))))))))))))))))))

ㅤ

ㅤ

𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐍.

“ 𝐘'𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖, 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀 𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐊, you're actually a pretty cool dude, cartman. ” you exclaim dryly, making little doodles on the assignment you presumably are supposed to actually be doing. he slowly turns his head to face behind him. a large scowl plasters on eric's expression. “ i'm cool all the time, motherfucker. ” you roll your eyes dismissively, “ the entire campus would beg to differ. ” he opens his mouth to respond with some sort of snarky remark, but he changes his mind and turns around in defiance. cartman laughs proudly. “ you're just extremely jealous that you'll never be as cool as me. ” you sigh and mutter, “ keep telling yourself that. whatever helps you cope, i guess. ”

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

boy thinks that's his birthright to have everyone within his vicinity praise him in some way bc his name is eric theodore cartman

but deep down this boy hates himself with a burning passion, like all narcissists lmao

two words, backhanded compliments.

well, unless he doesn't like you/thinks your ugly af or sumn, then he'll be like “ yeah, i know. couldn't say the same for you, though. ”

but i'll be honest with ya'll, if he even moderately likes you in any way, that one compliment will cause him to attach to you until you have to literally force him to back off. (ex. imagine his relationship w/ butters)

the only plus to that is cartman will be a little bit nicer to you than he usually is. “ hey bitch (affectionate)! ”

ㅤ

ㅤ

𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐌𝐂𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊.

𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐇 and it's kenny's turn to read a section of the excerpt the class is assigned. none of his three best friends have this class with him, so he's practically mute for most of the period. you never hear his voice other than a few “ hey ”s, “ mhm ”s, and “ what ”s, so a tiny part of you is lowkey excited to be able to hear the orange hooded boy speak a full few sentences for the first time. he isn't the fastest reader in the class, and definitely not one of the loudest, but something about his soft tone relaxes you. kenny's voice is strangely soothing. after he finishes, you decide to point it out.

you tap on his desk to get his attention, “ wow, i didn’t know you sounded like that, kenny. ” since you didn't elaborate, he stares at you with a blank expression in his big baby blue eyes. he slowly squints at you, silently asking for an explanation. you chuckle, “ i think your voice sounds nice, mate. you should run an asmr channel or something. ” kenny's eyes avert from left to right for two rounds before he becomes a popped bubble full of agressive cackles. the entire class stop whatever they're doing to figure what's going on, but you just give kenny a huge toothy smile.

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

bruv will never take compliments seriously, like he legitimately thinks your joking.

but he'll still flash his pretty crooked whites at you, and nod his head like a child that just got asked if they want a cookie (pls he's baby <33333)

most of the time kenny's eyes are dull bc he's depressed, but when he's really happy, they'll sparkle, like a lot. remember that.

small talk isn't kenny's thing so after you say whatever you wanted to say he'll prob instantly go back to blocking you out like what he does to his parents when they fight

but after a while of processing what you said, he's truly touched, sometimes he'll even tell karen about how much you made his day with that little comment alone

here's a plus, if kenny thinks your cute enough, he'll start lowkey flirting with you, complimenting you over literally everything you do (sometimes he's a lot more straightforward, but he tries to keep it as discreet as possible)

[samarecharm]

Bouncing off my bi ryuji awakening post, im gonna add these tags from it: (separated to make it easier to read)

[#anyway. akira is the guy ever. and ryuji is exploding#‘i have died. badly’#i like thinking of akira like this; hes ryujis first exposure to nb ppl and gnc adjacent stuff#even if akira is p masc by most standards hes still got a bit of. aloofness. about his gender stuffs#ryuji is just really into the way akira carries himself#and it takes him a while to go oh. oh i think its cause i like this dude#um.#😳.

#also i wanted to clarify#but ryujis mom just doesnt know Who akira is in that picture#and in my head hes like. looking down at mona and petting him (while sitting)#(AND hes with ann and theyre both kind of a distance away from the camera)#so at a quick glance; hes just Some Girl#and even though shes wrong; it kicks off the mental chaos olympics in ryujis head#‘what hes not a girl’ to ‘where would she even get that from’ to ‘well akira said himself he didnt rlly care what ppl thought about it’#to ‘well. where DID she get that from?’ to lookin at what his homie does a little closer to ‘aw fuck. man.’#but i love that for him

#ALSO. RYU/GORO IN TAGS…..#but ryuji going oh my GOD oh my godddd 😨😓😓😓 when something clicks in his head about goro#his voice is so practiced and naturally softspoken and his public facing persona is very demure#and once he gets past the initial anger over goro being a pompous prick who shittalks about the thieves. hes like. god fucking dammit.#There Is A Pattern and A Type He Has and Its Killing Him To Realize it.#hes literally sitting in his room w his head in his hands]

Ryuji definitely finds Conventionally Attractive Girls pretty, but he realizes around postgame that he genuinely formed crushes on THREE people; Akira, Makoto, and Goro. And all three of them are people who carry themselves as a bit Soft and Delicate (akira and makoto w their personality and mannerisms, goro w his appearance) while also being deceptively strong. Yusuke WOULD fit into this but hes only strong in the metaverse. Also if u tried to argue that he still finds yusuke pretty, Ryuji would just say ‘yeah duh? Of course???’ and would not elaborate further.

I just think. Its cute 👉🏾👈🏾 Ryuji loves someone whos pretty and capable of knocking him flat on his ass lmao He LOVES a challenge and he likes that they can all challenge him in different ways.

Akira is way stronger than he looks; hes very toned and he used to be quite active before being shipped off to tokyo. And after fighting in the metaverse, hes gotten way better at using an enemies mass and momentum against them. Yeah he can properly knock someone down, but its way easier to let Ryuji charge him and use that momentum to sweep and pin. Which Ryuji remembers vividly for Weeks. Akira is not allowed to spar w him and Makoto for awhile after that.

Makoto is just strong as hell. But shes very defensive, and extremely patient. ‘Ill wait and see before I decide What to do’. Shes got good reaction timing and its hard to catch her offguard. Its very difficult to disorient her so oftentimes, his spars w her are more about endurance. And if he ASKS her to do so, she’ll actually fight him back. He never wins 😭 but she is very patient w him and she doesnt treat him like an idiot. She likes to give him tips and redirect his strengths to make up for his weaknesses and it makes him a bit warm in this chest

Spars w Goro are just fun. Theyre fun! Goro is way more aggressive and reckless than Makoto and Akira. He is looking for openings near constantly and Ryuji has to either keep up or tank hits. Its very. Engaging. For him. Sometimes he loses and Goro is giving him a look so smug, Ryuji wishes he could kick him in his fucking teeth (something he clearly couldnt do bc hes already been knocked flat on his ass). And sometimes he wins, and hes so shocked and HAPPY about it; he doesnt miss the way Goro looks away from him pouting like a brat (‘no fucking way are u POUTING man, what a sore loser 😭’). Goro and his uptight personality is thrown out the window completely and its so fun and refreshing to see. Hes tall and imposing w broad shoulders and toned arms and if Ryuji is staring, he finds himself immediately distracted when Goros cheerful, softspoken voice asks if hes willing to go another round.

I love it 👉🏾👈🏾 Ryujis got a complicated relationship w violence but it helps to have people he trusts engage with it in a way that doesnt make him feel like some brute. Theyre all kind of itching to beat the shit out of things for multiple reasons, but instead of taking that out on each other, they spend time training one another so that they can beat the shit out of OTHER things better. Its an efficient system 😊

[crabonfire]

unsure if it’s been done before, or if you’re comfortable with it, but mercs as parents ? :]

the way I gasped when I saw this bcs omg yes!!!! mercs as parents babeyyy B)

Mercs as parents!

characters: all mercs!!

warning: none!! some are a tiny bit sad but still hapy

NOTE!!! sorry this is very...long overdue. when exams came out I just got writers block, I had to focus on exams...thank god they are ending in a couple days GAHSHHDHDHFHF

also some are shorter than others...m very sorry bbg :(

♡Scout♡

• aw

• I don't know this is honestly really cute

• he has some... Doubts. Like any parents do, but seeing the happiness on your face and your child(ren) s face whenever you talk to him? that makes all the worry go away baby.

• such a good dad. he smothers them with love and affection, definitely pretends to be santa claus on Christmas (if you celebrate it) and teaches those kids to be tough.

• DEFINITELY takes them out to play baseball. your kids are baseball fans take it or leave it.

• I really don't have much to say other than the fact he'd be a great dad, I think this will teach him a lot about himself and make him a better person, I love dad scout.

♡Soldier♡

• I feel like he'd be a bit too aggressive on the child(ren) at first, not understanding how fragile they can be until he really sees them.

• he's much more gentle and quiet around them, trying his best not to scare them.

• I think he has some gender role problems to deal with, so talk through it with him.

• but anyways, he's a great dad honestly. he cradles them and plays with them everyday, making sure that they are always happy.

• he may not understand much of a child's need or their limits, and you two may fight about that. But understand that he will definitely learn, give him time, he is trying his best.

• he's not good at comforting, but he's great at pep talks and hyping his kids up!!!

• he teaches them to be brave and strong, telling them stories from when he was in war. Its all fake, but who cares honestly.

• overall decent dad, just needs to change some of his habits.

♡Pyro♡

• WOAHHH

• Super understanding parent.

• I feel like he went through a ton as a child, explaining why he acts childish sometimes, so I think he's be a very understanding parent when it comes to his kids.

• very patient, and fun!!

• I bet for a fact that the kids love him, spoils them a shit ton.

• he loves to draw with them, putting their drawings up in your shared bedroom so he can admire them when he wakes up.

• he's a bit doubtful of his ability to parent, he thinks he's a bit too unprepared. But as long as your here, he's not too worried.

gosh I love pyro

♡Demo♡

• this guy was SO PUMPED when you two decided to have kids

• but oh boy is he anxious.

• he will not drink ever around them.

• he's quite sweet to his kids, calling them lad or lassie, along with cute ass nicknames because he just loves them so much.

• loves to hug them and carry them whenever you go out, piggy back rides, princess carry, whatever it is, he loves it.

• he likes to mess around with them a lot, and probably the type of dad to go with their kids dumb ideas even though they might go horribly wrong or are just stupid.

• he loves his family. does he think he's a bad parent sometimes? Yeah, but every parent does. You just give him a hug and he'll forget all about it.

my man fr!

♡Heavy♡

• i love misha :( my big mercenary man misha:((( I love him sm....

• gosh I'm smiling as I'm typing this ok

• he's the best dad ever.

• he's strict, of course he is. but you've seen this man in the comics, he knows when to let loose.

• he cooks for them everyday, making them school lunches, teaches them Russian, and teaches them to defend themselves if it needed to be done.

• he's also so sweet, and he tells you and his kids he loves them everyday. Heavy is not embarrassed, why should there be a need to be embarrassed? He loves you guys.

• he loves to read them stories before bed, and he loves to give them bear hugs and carry them.

• when the kid(s) saw him, he was scared that the kid(s) would be scared of him. But when they hugged him and gave him a bright smile, he melted into a puddle and chuckled, giving them a forehead kiss.

is the reason I love heavy because my dad left me for 7 years of my life and even as he came back he still didn't give me affection till this very day? maybe. but we'll never truly know.

♡Engie♡

• Hshdhdhjfjfjfj men. I LOVE. MEN.

• ueeuueue....ue...:(...ueue,,,uee!!! ;(((

• so...so sweet. MAN.

• calls them all sorts of nicknames.

• this man has never had any doubt in his life.

• he will kiss, hug, carry, cradle, comfort, just smother them with so so much love.

• makes inventions for them, and if any of them are ever interested in engineering his heart will explode due to happiness.

• he spoils those mfs so much you gotta tell him off sometimes. He's honestly so sweet it hurts.

• he will take so many pictures, and have them on both a physical album, and one he keeps in a camera he made himself. So that incase one is lost, he still has the other.

• I...I don't know man. He's the perfect dad. I genuinely don't know what else to write.

engie..kiss me challenge? UM...sir why do you as a man have cute lips? for me to kiss them? whore

♡Medic♡

• hell nah.

• he probably just wants one kid, he thinks more than one is a mistake LMAOOOO

• he's not very affectionate, not that he doesn't want to be, but he's scared to overwhelm the child.

• overall tho, he's actually quite sweet.

• he'll leave the affection up to you, but of course he will spend time with the kid...its his kid too after all 💀

• he likes to call them nicknames too, and likes to ruffle their hair a lot.

• probably will only bond with their kid over scientific stuff or whatever the kids into, he has to tone down the insanity a bit, but they are sweet together. The kids a bit messed up like he is to be honest, and he finds that endearing.

"Papa look!! I drew an anatomically accurate heart! Do you like it?"

"Oh mein gott, zhis is quite beautiful! The detail... Amazing work mein schatz :) ruffles their hair "

• he doesn't understand or relate to children much, but he tries, he really does. He will spend days trying to find a solution to make your child feel better if they were ever sad. He's a good dad, and he will try to be the best if he can.

aww he's so baby girl

♡Sniper♡

• aw baby girl

• definitely has a lot of doubts, but he's happy.

• like medic, probably just wants one kid.

• if it was a girl he'd definitely call them "daddy's little girl"

• he's always smiling around them, they just make him so happy.

• he's honestly struggling every day, having to ask you for comfort or advice on if he's doing it right. Doing what right you ask? Parenting.

• but just be there with him through it all, he's a great dad just anxious.

• he talks to his kid about how to survive in the wild, showing them his collection of cool yet a bit weird stuff from his past work experiences. Some are a bit...too weird. Remind him to not show the kid the animal eyes he has in a jar from that one time he fought off a radioactive iguana.

• him and the kid get along pretty well, to be honest...he's starting to change his mind about only having one kid.

♡Spy♡

• sobs

• he doesn't want to...at first.

• well,,,he doesn't want to mess up like he did before. How he left scout, left his past behind, he doesn't want to do that to you because of his cowardness.

• but in the end, he loves you, and he loves the child, so he will try his best.

• he's a great father, have you seen him in that one Christmas comic?

• he will smother that child with love and gifts, and will train them to be kind at a young age.

• he's still extremely doubtful of his ability, but just comfort him. he's doing great, he just can't seem to understand that right now.

• but he's sweet, he loves them, and you, and isn't embarrassed to admit it (like misha!!!)

• he's a bit distant from the child at first, but as time goes by it'll all be fine. he doesn't want to hurt his child, not again.

sobs. Great dad, major issues.

done!!!

YAY!! sorry I haven't written in months,,exams.

[transboysokka]

This is a big ask so don't feel like you have to, but would you be interested in pitching some summaries of the fics you have up on Ao3? I know there are summaries up there, but I like the casual way you have with words and you say fuck a lot and I dunno yeah

omg this is so funny bc i know the exact way with words you're talking about and of course im not gonna pass up a chance to promote my own work hehe YOU GOT IT!

i have 20 atla fics so I'm going to recommend them in order of... least to most kudos??? to try to trick people into reading more of my stuff? lol idk

I'm 99% sure all of these are Zukka fics...

The Last Five Years - ok actually this is a bad place to start bc i don't think im gonna finish it. it just really didn't take off but um its a The Last Five Years AU with really fucking sad Divorced Zukka

Do Not Stand At My Grave and Cry - this is i think my newest one, it has trans zukka and it's a bit angsty with a fake death but i also think it's kind of fun. it's the idea trans people have of ''who's going to care if my family puts the wrong name on my gravestone?" but there IS a happy ending

A Problem Halved is a Problem Shared - im gonna be honest i dont fucking remember writing this one lol but it says dialogue-only and it WILL be angsty bc it is about zuko and sokka dealing with different issues they have

One Last Time (and its sequel The End of All Things) - Actually OLT is definitely one of my faves I ever wrote. It's my canon-compliant take on um... *cough* Sokka's death, referenced in Korra. It's SO angsty but it has one of the most visceral scenes I've ever written and I DID cry writing this. TEoAT is the happy ending Divorced Zukka deserved with bonus Iroh but you WILL cry reading that too. BUT i cant fucking recommend these ones enough!!!!

If I fade away (the awful things we do to make the head go quiet) - VERY dead dove. trans zuko needs to pay a MASSIVE price to get home to the Fire Nation after Ba Sing Se, and it's not his choice at all. I love this but READ WITH CAUTION

In Which Sokka is Supportive Ally Boyfriend Goals - I am dead serious i like dont remember this one at all but i know it has trans zuko!

Nourishing the Flame Within - not the best written tbhtbh BUT it does have two very important Zukos in it that I hold to be universally true: trans zuko and eating disorder zuko

bad idea right? - okay this is DEF one of my faves lol its about divorced zukka but they just cant stop messing things up and sleeping with each other even though theyre not together anymore lolol

Keeping it in the Family - lmao OKAY SO this is the ONE version of zukka that im like 'ok all u z*tara folks, maybe zuko WAS with her and it obvs didnt work' and then he hooks up with sokka instead and its GREAT but oops now we have Family Drama

Scars of Trust - bro im not gonna like i barely remember writing this one but i remember I LOVE IT and it's about sokka who has been dating zuko a while but he finally learns that zuko is trans? its great

Playing the Long Game - eh, i don't love it, but I'd say it's worth a read. it was my first longer fic in the fandom. it DOES have a great Zukki evolution though if you're into that, and a nice mystery!! Also some whump and angst bc of course

Keeping Score - I liked this one! It's just little snippets of times Sokka has survived assassination attempts, because we always hear about it happening to Zuko, but Sokka gets them too. Angst obviously

It Was Cruel and It Was Wrong - wow, a dead dove fic, yes. It's basically like "If I'm Joo Lee and you're Joo Lee, then who's flying the bison?" Yeah so Sokka and Zuko are both brainwashed by the Dai Lee and Suffering but be careful because this gets DARK

Mother - Izumi has two dads but she feels bad she doesn't have a mom. But guess what, her dads don't have moms either!! She's very happy to find that out! Wow Izumi, way to have some sympathy.

Impact - It's about Zuko taking a longer time to recover from an assassination attempt than he'd want, and Sokka being loving and patient with him! I wrote this when I had a bad concussion for like three weeks and so it's pretty like. Medically accurate lol

Scratchy - Short and sweet. I don't remember this one much but I know that it is fluffy and involves turtle ducks!

Hidden Pain, Shared Love - Another short and fluffy one. It's about the first time Zuko sees that Sokka has problems with his leg sometimes?

Zuko and Sokka Get Engaged in the Most Zukka Way Possible - okay i actually really love this one because it's on brand and cute and also i made it fucking angsty because oF COURSE

Zuko Amongst the Dragons - yes so what if zuko was raised by dragons and met the gaang but he was super feral? and what if shenanigans ensued? AND what if sokka and zuko fell in love anyway????

[half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk]

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 19 AND 20 😳

straight into it again batchers 🤟

The Bad Batch 1x15

Crosshair coming to visit Hunter how sweet 💕

Echo teaching Omega to stay focused while being stressed 🥺

every time I see Rampart I wanna smash his face in a little bit more

Omega with her secret base 🥷

her wet droopy hair 🥺

Tech looks like Korkie rn he's a ginger in the light

Echo checking in on Omega 😭

Crosshair you need to listen to Hunter he's right

Hunter: "we didn't have a choice" Crosshair: "and I did?" 😭😭😭😭😭

Omega: "experimental unit 99 began right here" Wrecker: "is that true?" Tech: "how could I possibly know that?" 💀

where are all the other clones "reassigned and transferred offworld" ??? op what does this mean

"guess you were wrong about that" lmao Wrecker

Crosshair listen here you sassy little-

siblings always know when you're lying 🤭

Crosshairs whole speech in the training room....

"I'm going to give you what you never gave me ...a chance" 😭😭😭

"we're not like the regs, we never have been" - this line sounds the most like a reg Crosshair has sounded was this on purpose ??

Crosshair cutting the binders with Hunter's knife AJDJSKAJFL

Tech spotting the discs and silently telling Wrecker !!! I'm jumping over my couches

BDIWOANSHWUAALLDNFIWIANFJEK WHEN CROSSHAIR SHOOTS ALL THE OTHER SOLDIERS WHEN HE- WHEN I- I'VE GONE INSANE-

Crosshair never wanted to kill them he wanted them back 😭😭😭😭😭

THEIR FACES THE MUSIC THE ENTIRE SCENE THEYRE WORKING TOGETHER IVE SURPASSED INSANITY

Tarkin 🤢🤢

Crosshair's holding his head 👀 Chips still there !!

them fighting about the chip 😭 Tech scan his brain pls

Omega hugging Hunter 🤲🥺😭🥰

the completely empty rooms I can't

the regs who open fire 👀 Slip???

I can't deal with watching tipoca city fall 😭

I can't deal with them watching it fall 😭😭😭

THE OUTRO-

The bad batch 1x16

the silence after the blast knocks them down

Crosshair woke up as they slid and I think Echo was out 🥺

that poor reg with the status report I wanna hug him so bad 💔

oop they were all out not just Echo

Tech: *can't hack the door* Wrecker: "I can" kinfe knife knife knife knife

Tech is pulling the door with his fingers 🥺

Wrecker gently catching Omega and passing her to Echo who just holds her for a bit 🥺🤲🥰💔😭💕

then Crosshair just slides into Hunters foot lmaooo

I don't think Crosshair knew what the empire was planning ?? he just wakes up and blames the boys for it ??

them all stopping to look at the water filling up in the baby clone room with all the empty tubes 😭

Omega catching AZI 🥺

DID CROSSHAIR JUST CATCH ECHO 👀

the last time they're all in their room together 💔

lmao Echo with the smell 💀

SHE just saved your ass Crosshair settle down

sibling squabbles turning into heartfelt convos 🥲 Wrecker missed Crosshair so much

theres always a bigger fish

they're all just sitting together to catch their breath 🤲

all back in the lab together 🥲

mhm Crosshair she's your BIG sister show her some respect

CROSSHAIR THIS IS NOT OMEGAS FAULT YOU BUTTHEAD

you sound an awful lot like a clone with an inhibitor chip rn buddy 👀

also sounds like Saw Gerrera which is never a good sign

"all you'll ever be to them is a number" ~ Hunter, then Crosshair's head immediately starts hurting hmmmm 🤔

I think it's still in there and its starting to stop working similar to Tup... possibly bc he got a little fried on that side of his head...

ptsd for Echo being in that tube 🥲💔

Omega doing the blasting instead of Wrecker !!

They're hugging in the tubes I know it

Omega's worried voice 🥺

"I'm going after AZI" 😭

CROSSHAIR 💕💕💕💕

Hunter's nervous hands tapping waiting for Omega to come up 🥺🥲

then him picking her up out of the water and his "I've gotcha" 😭😭😭😭😭

Crosshair handing over his rifle while the other three are ready to shoot him 🥲

Hunter holding Omega's hand- I'm gone y'all

Crosshair refusing to look at them while they're looking at him 💔

the sun shining on kamino after all of that, like the calm *after* the storm... which is unsettling bc it's usually the calm before the storm

Hunter picking Omega up again 🤲 he's so gentle

them all just staring at where their home used to be 💔😭

Wrecker holding AZI like a baby 🥺

they all look so dad (I tried to type sad but both works)

Hunter's soft smile telling Omega it's time to go 🥰

Hunter watching Omega and Crosshair talking

"you're still their brother, Crosshair. You're my brother too." star wars wants me to never stop crying as if I'm not already dehydrated enough

not thinking about how that was the last thing he heard for how many weeks??

FKN TANTISS

all the clone commandos everywhere 👀 the rest of delta squad when

WE DID IT !!! WE FINISHED SEASON 1 💕

Now I'm going to speed watch s2 in the next 2 days omg my emotions won't survive lmao

thanks everyone who's followed along and interacted so far I love seeing love for tbb so seeing people enjoying my responses makes me super happy 💕 I hope tbb3 is good to us 🙏

[retrotrait]

wait last anon got my attention and ive also been wanting to send you a long ass ask dissecting simon's behavior lol~ also cw this talks about drug abuse!

I don't want to be a simon shooter, but I feel like he deserves empathy considering he abuses substances and has trauma from his childhood. Not to excuse his behavior at all. I feel for anani and simon because i was in a relationship with someone who abused substances (xanax) this was in my senior yr of high school & it sucked seeing someone you care about constantly high of their ass vs. the person you met. The drugs affect not only the person, but the people around them and its awful.

There is such a stigma towards people who abuse substances (I personally dont like to use the word addict thats just me tho!!) I feel like people tend to think ppl who abuse drugs act out on purpose and want to purposely hurt their loved ones, when that isnt the case.

Anani was without a doubt, simon's diamond in the rough. It does make me feel a certain was that his mother called her to BASICALLY, fix her son. Girl.............that is your child, Im pretty sure his mother asked her to "get him help" because she couldnt face the music, she couldnt see history repeat itself, but you cannot send someone over that he hurt so many times to fix things.

I believe Anani continuously stayed by his side because she thinks itll be different everytime. She could fix him, its possible in her eyes because of their bond, but that is not true at all. He needs to realize for himself that he needs help. If he cares about the people he loves he would go and get help. Anani is def a push over in this case (im sorry my queen PLS STAND UP I KNO U LOVE HIM BUT PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS STAND UP!!)

I dont think its possible for them to have a platonic friendship after everything, but I do believe Simon needs a good support system around him and MAYBE anani could be apart of that support system...minus the physical bc from what it seems, simon uses Anani like temporary medicine to ease his pain & it hurts to see Anani care and love him, but get hurt in the end :c

I love what you're doing with this story & I am so excited for what is yet to come. <3

You couldn't be righter and the number one reason I created an OC with substance abuse problems is because I know how one sided it can be for people to misjudge them, even the people who love them. It's not as easy as quit and get better and I wanted that to reflect who Simon is.

Anani became that drug replacement for him as well and even loving someone to that extent can be unhealthy because without them you don't know who you are (also a reason why he left in the first time around) the town, his parents, even Anani, he needed to separate himself from becoming the person his brother was but unfortunately, it's not easy when you're in that party/rockstar lifestyle. He's stuck be

To Anani, he also became like a drug, someone who filled that musical emptiness that her mom's passing left. Like you said, she wants to fix him, it's in her nature and him knowing that makes walking away a little bit easier to understand, however wrong it was to do it in that situation. It's very on brand for him the "not wanting to hurt someone while hurting them."

I think their relationship thrives on that push and pull, that "I hate you but I love you." I just don't know if it would work if they were ever just good to each other without the toxic-ness.

<333 ILY and thank you for sending this amazing dissection of these characters.

[whitemonsterenjoyer]

Stupid stupid rant about my friend

TLDR: Friends are disappointing! I should just isolate myself and focus on ⭐ving instead!!!

honestly kind of fucking hate my friend right now. he gets pissed off over the smallest fucking shif and he never fucking says anything. he like hates communication. its gotten to a point where i dont want to play games with him and our other friends because he just gets annoyed and yells at us. i always feel like im doing something wrong! im so uncomfortable all the time! and then they get confused and upset when i dont feel like playing again. buddy, how can i fucking enjoy anything when youre making me feel uncomfortable at best the whole time????

he reminds me of my ex so much its awful. i cant stand him sometimes. if you dont respond the right way or at all hes say some shit like "i should just die" or "you guys hate me" and i just! hate it! and he refuses to communicate ANYTHING. hed rather give you the silent treatment IN THE FUCKING VOICE CHAT. you ask him a question qnd youll have to keep repeating it for like ten minutes before hell answer because he got mildly upset. he got snippy with us because we didnt have the game open the moment he joined the call. he got fucking mad at us for mentioning school while were on break. like???? im fucking sorry that we briefly mentioned something thats been a part of our daily lives for the last like 12 years? and we barely even actually talked about school. i just got upset that ill have to sit with the annoying kids in my first period, and our other friend said that her voicemail was full of colleges doing college shit. not only that, its just really fucking dumb that hes upset over talking about school during break. its literally fucking ending, you cant not think about it. and does he think that hes the only one stressed over school?? one friend doesnt even have freetime during the week a majority of the time because shes doing so much school shit. i almost committed in freshman year! and even now, i need hours after school every day to decompress because im so fucking overstimulated and overwhelmed all day! and the third other person is taking FIVE AP CLASSES. their ass is swamped with work too!!! meanwhile, he can get home and have the time and energy to draw and play video games and record and edit videos all in the same day. if snything he doesn't get to say anything about not wanting to think about school while relaxing bc hes the most relaxed!

i asked him why he didnt tell us smtg would upsst him before we did it and he just responded with "i assumed you guys were cool." ok.

i mentioned that i had stolen sone of my parents alc while i was doing online school. yknow that period of time where i was struggling with dissociation and thoughts of committing? and nobody was fucking talking to me? he said that made me a bad person.

our friend has a girlfriend and naturally they spend a lot of time together. he gets upset seeing that theyre playing the same game or knowing that theyre hanging out without us. i dobt mind, i just wished shed let us know that she had plans rather than leaving out of nowhere. but he genuinely like despises her for spending time with her significant other.

ive stopped making plans with him because he kept flaking. he was always so indecisive and he would cancel plans the night before so often. sometimes even the MORNING OF. he would want to save money even if he wouldve spent a total of 10 dollars, or hed be too tired bc he refused to stop playing games the night before. i always go to bed earlier if im doing something the next day. i dont know why im not worth the same energy. honestly im not sure he actually likes hanging out with me, im just the only one willing to do the same things as him. the only plans that worked out were things he was absolutely going to do regardless of anyone going with him.

i dont wven know how to breach the subject with him because, again, hes so much like my ex. i know that if i make him feel bad, hell either get defensive or just freak out and cry about it. i listened to my ex say id be better off if he was gone in response to me venting way too many times to want to express my feelings about people ever again.

and it really sucks bc other times hes really nice and fun to be around. i just wonder if he dies actually like me at all. i feel like he sees me as less than sometimes.

idk i stopped being mad and got sad.

but i mean hes implied it before. he wants more friends to play cod and fortnite with and go to the park at night with. he never asks me to do thise things. im willing to play fortnite. i want to play cod. i want to do literally anything at night especially go to the park. he especially wanted more guy friends to do things with.

hed be happier being friends with the kids at school who hate me

idk. this is dumb. its 3am.

[padfootastic]

dear miss padfootastic: harry learning he's gonna be a dad and promptly losing his mind and going to the only person he can think of for dad advice: sirius.

gosh miss imp i have so many thoughts about this!!!!!! (i wrote almost all of this and realised that i did it post birth lol bc that’s the moment that made the most sense to me but we can easily doctor it to be pre birth as well!!)

- the first time harry holds james sirius in his hands, he has to dip out in three minutes flat to puke all over the nearest washroom. it’s sirius holding him, brushing his hair back, and soothing him on the dirty hospital floor. tells him that he did something super similar when he held harry for the first time too. it doesn’t hit harry then.

- when they’re all back at home, the first few days, it’s all a sort of frantic autopilot where he has no time to think. it’s only when things calm down a bit that he realised how his hands shake and his pulse races when he thinks about being a father. it’s not…debilitating bc it’s his duty, one he asked for, and harry’s never been one to back down from a duty. but it’s still—he doesn’t want to be a passable dad, he wants to be a good one.

- so he goes to the best one he knows: sirius.

- the thing here is, harry thinks he’s gonna be a terrible dad. he was abused and neglected in his most developmental stages of life, never really knew what unconditional love felt like let alone parental, and does not trust himself around a vulnerable defenceless child. knowledge of his anger and it’s consequences does not help.

- but also to consider: sirius had almost an exact similar experience. he was equally terrified to be a godfather for harry bc he never trusted himself w delicate things. so he knows, intimately, what’s it’s like to fear yourself.

- it doesn’t get better with one conversation. sirius knew this going in. what he does, instead, is help harry become confident by being there, always, without fail. makes him see that he’s got this down pat, and his child loves and trusts and adores him and there’s no greater privilege than that. he’s there every single time as a safety net, to tell harry that nothing will go wrong, yes, but also to prove he doesn’t need anyone else.

- it’s also a whole lot of ‘omg this is so difficult, you did this for me?????’ and just. realisations about ‘omg u changed my diaper??? i peED ON YOU??????’ that basically make it impossible for him to look sirius in the eye for a few days.

- another point to consider: harry sees sirius with jemmy from an outsider pov yeah? and he can finally see what others have all this time: how sirius looks at someone he loves wholeheartedly, how much he adores his children. and it’s humbling and awe-inspiring and a bit terrifying. imagining the full force of that love directed towards him, making him wonder what he did to deserve it

- there’s a loooooot of midnight/asscrack of morning firecalls/mirror calls etc for emergency assistance bc ‘are babies supposed to sleep like tho at! he’s been farting all night sirius iTS SO BAD! omg his poop is green padfoot is my baby toxic?????’ ykno. normal new dad stuff.

(and this is random but there’s also one,,,,forbidden conversation with sirius about it he’d ever hated him bc harry had some very unsavoury thoughts in the beginning when he had teddy that he hates himself for to this day and if he has to hear his godfather say he didn’t want him to get rid of them then he’ll do it. it’s a tough but necessary one)

[dandyshucks]

rambling about Guz under the cut hsdhgjkl, CW for abuse and (c)ptsd talk as well as discussion of racism

i've hesitated to say anything about his trauma-caused aggression and anger because i fear it'll be misconstrued by ppl (<- tags on that other post that i'm going off of bc i wanna ramble abt it)

he's not Scary or Violent or Mean. i mean maybe other ppl might view him that way, he might come across that way if you don't know him well, but like.... its trauma. if you were physically abused as a child... yeah. youre gonna come out of that with issues that won't be pretty. you're not going to be the Perfect Victim. you are going to have symptoms and reactions and whatnot that are ugly and difficult and upsetting and hard-to-be-around sometimes.

I am really aware and cautious of the stereotype where many men of colour (mainly black men, but this also includes indigenous men and some other men of colour) are portrayed as being Big and Aggressive, so I have avoided getting anywhere near that, especially since I made the decision to change Guz's skintone in my portrayal of him (which I'm not going to get into, at least rn, but that decision was carefully thought out as well for me). So I always get a bit worried that IF I show any of that side of his trauma, it is going to come off the wrong way.

When I look at him being angry and aggressive in any way, I'm coming at it from the perspective of "this is a man who was a child who was abused and beaten, and he's grown up being taught he needs to Fight, that he needs to be scary in order to be safe, and he is very afraid in a way that translates to anger because that's the way he learned to deal with that emotion." And then we (Guz and co) figure out how to work with that, how to start unravelling all the trauma that's packed into that behaviour, how to start unlearning those reactions and begin working on new ways of Being. He's got a safe environment now, where the people he's around genuinely care about him, where he doesn't have to scare the people around him in order to be respected and safe. Plumes and the squad love him, and Junebug loves him, and he doesn't want to hurt any of them. He also doesn't want to continue that cycle of abuse, doesn't want the grunts or anyone else to feel afraid of him like he was afraid of his dad, nor does he want any of the grunts to feel like they have to be aggressive to be safe in the world.

I'm also aware of the fact that I have white skin even if I am indigenous lol, and the little white-skinned partner appearing to be the "uwu soft niceys" one in the relationship with the big "aggressive" man with brown skin is uhhhh a really fucking awful look! really fucked up! And it's not something I'm interested in presenting to the world, even if it's just in this small circle of the internet. That's a really fucked up dynamic to be putting out there without context lmao.

Anyways, so even if Guz has that shit going on, I'm very careful with how I present it and aware of how it might come across, and if I ever step over any lines, people are more than welcome to holler at me and let me know I've fucked up!

Currently, I figure he was working on shit for a while before my self-insert came along (this is not a case of "i will fix you all by myself" because again... my white skin makes it look like white saviorism, plus I do not think thats a very interesting dynamic for me personally anyways lol, you gotta be putting in a bit of work yourself for me to stick around very long and help you out), and then Junebug showing up was just another motivational force to keep working on his shit. Guz has a good group of people around him and Junebug is just kind of a bonus in the situation. He'd be putting in the work either way, but they're just a little extra boost for him.

I think he’ll always have a bit of a tendency to react with the fight instinct rather than flight or freeze in situations where he is genuinely terrified and doesn’t have time to think through a reaction, but all of the rest of it improves. It’s amazing what a person can change about the way their brain is wired with enough time and effort and support!

[tswwwit]

the idea of dipper and bill having to act as a "normal" white fence suburdan home married couple bc of "blending in with community" to investigate some particular magical phenamone or a cult or a monster or whatever and dipper is suffering, and bill is suffering too but he's also having sick fun with horrid fascination as an insane demon does, and they ask mabel for ideas, they have a barbeque housewarming party-

-wont leave my mind, its been *days*

dipper: this sucks, people live like this???

bill: I KNOW! THIS SUCKS! *fascinated like a watching a trainwreck or natural disaster* AMAZING

Pine Tree shuts the door behind him very quietly. A gentle 'click' as the latch sets in place.

Bill looks up from where he was flipping through the newspaper. He puffs on his pipe - unlit, but hey! It's for the look of things! - and smiles.

"Hello honey!" Bill takes the pipe out of his mouth, bouncing a slipper on his foot. "How was the homeowner's association meeting?"

Pine Tree stares forward. A muscle in his jaw twitches.

Bill hums to himself, and smiles.

Domesticity! Such as it is. That wonderful white-picket fence, no magic, no monsters, and no chaos-

The paper under his hands tears slightly. Bill clears his throat, shuffling the pages. He gives up on the ruse of news-reading - whether or not those nosy assholes across the street are watching - and flips, nonchalant, right to the comics section. He already solved the crossword in his head ten minutes ago.

Easy. He's got this. It's only been, like a couple days. There are way longer cons he's played, and this one isn't the worst!

Besides.

He'll be damned if he breaks before his mortal does.

"I talked to Linda." Pine Tree's voice is flat. He slowly strides over to the window, and draws the curtains shut.

"And?" Bill prompts, sitting up a little more. Man, sapling's got a full thousand yard-gaze going! He watches with fascination.

"She's so glad to see that the," Pine Tree lifts his hands, making finger quotes. "'Non-traditional' couple is so," He swallows, holding down some simmering fury. "'Decent'" Bill's throat jumps, but. Nope, not perfect. The gagging noise still came through. But he nods, very seriously.

Acting.

"And," Pine Tree says, very slowly. Turning towards Bill, equally slow, and deliberate. "Even though she said I could water the lawn, since it's dying, now I can't water the lawn, because it violates some…" His hand clenches to a fist by his side. "Like, contractor agreement thing?"

"Oh, don't worry about that, honey!" Bill exclaims, with a perfect nineteen fifties voice - he's got that in the bag. "I'm sure it'll all work ou-"

"Except," Pine Tree strides in, planting hands on Bill's armchair, and staring him right in the face. "We're also getting fined for every day that the lawn is dead."

Bill can't help it. He snorts, face scrunching up. A full catch-22! Linda's got another thing coming, eventually. Once they track down this monster.

But hey! Bill can understand sadism, and contractual bullshit! If only Pine Tree wasn't around, he'd have made the trap appropriately lethal.

"Aw, rough day, huh?" Bill sets his pipe down, patting his husband on the shoulder. "Don't worry, honey, we'll-"

And Pine Tree yanks him forward. Gripping Bill's smoking jacket so tight that he hauls him nearly out of his chair. Bill blinks.

"If you call me 'honey' again," He mutters. "I'm going to murder you."

Bill can't stop his laugh this time, and as his cute little mortal rattles him back and forth -

Oh thank chaos, Pine Tree's the one broke first.

"Bill? This sucks." Pine Tree insists, teeth gritted. Shaking Bill harder now. He searches for words, he splutters - one hand waves at the air. "How does anyone live like this?"

Ha! Maybe now he gets how great he has it. No bureaucracy ! No trying to hide what you are from jerks who think magic is 'wrong'! No suburban life, no lawncare, and no rules!

Bill's mortal has too many hangups. You can explode any problem if you want to!

Pity he's not willing to do it with Linda.

"Hell if I know!" Bill exclaims, and surges up. He heaves out a breath, scratching at his neck. "Bullshit magical prejudice. Don't worry, kid!" He pats his husband on the back. "We'll get out of here in no time."

The monster that's preying on these mortals can't hide much longer. Once that's solved, Bill's contingency will kick in. And then -

"No, I found the vampire," Pine Tree says, half distracted. Bill does a double-take. What, he didn't mention that first? "I just, uh."

Bill wags a hand. Prompting.

And Pine Tree shrugs. Offering up an awkward smile. He rubs the back of his neck. "I…. kinda rigged her septic tank to blow once we got out of here."

Bill tugs him closer, beaming now. "Now that's a nice move!" He tucks his hands under Pine Tree's arms, but the human squirms away before he can pick him up. "It's what, a vicinity based setup?" A quick nod, and he grins wider. "Clever trick, kid." "I'd... ask if that's too much, but knowing you, it's not." Bill's cute little mortal punches him, adorably, in the stomach.

"Pfft, nah, that's nothing," Bill nudges him, and grins. Pine Tree's not the only guy who's heard some comments. "You should see what I set up for her house."