#he can make dumb decisions but if its just to spite other people and like. god i guess then its lame

[pand1on]

an integral part of good Shadow characterization is that he makes bad decisions I hope we all know this

[bonefall]

I’m rereading Po3 and despite its flaws I really enjoyed the introduction to the three. Jaykit isn’t mentioned to be blind in the first few chapters and instead they chose to show how much MORE capable he is compared to his littermates; until at the end of chapter 3, he brings up his blindness on his own. It makes forcing him to be a medicine cat SO much more frustrating because it really feels like they’re setting him up to be a warrior and choose his own fate (note i haven’t finished the reread this is just my first impression)

I like how you seem to take that path in BB regardless! It makes his arc so much more enjoyable

His arc in canon is super frustrating because he's such an independent character who clearly wants to make his own decisions in life, but then he just gets shoved into the medcat den. I LIKE that he ultimately goes there and that he enjoys it; but it was still really fucked up that they stripped away his autonomy in the process.

Re: they are not real, they are writing choices. Taking away the choices a disabled character can make over their own life, forcing them into a celibate nun role, and then going "awwwww dont worry see? he likes it! This was the best thing for him :)" was fucked up.

And imo it didn't have to be that way! You wouldn't have to go the FULL route I did with big changes, he could just be more involved in the descision to stop being a warrior apprentice and it would be fine. Minor change that would make a world of difference.

I do also have to interject to say though... blindness should really not be an extremely severe impairment for a ThunderClan cat.

I'm dead serious.

Whiskers are built-in sensors that tell you the exact position of everything within several inches of your head, ears swerve to pick up sound, and the jacobson's organ provides a sense of smell so keen that I have an entire Clanmew expansion draft because I needed to make WORDS describing the power of this sense that humans do not have. I cannot stress enough how delicate their other senses are, felines do not rely on their sight like primates do

ThunderClan lives in a mixed-oak woodland, where sight is already often obscured by foliage, objects are close together (for whiskers to feel), and nearly every movement makes noise against the leaf litter. RiverClan and (moor-running) WindClan cats would have a harder time with this disability than Thunder or Shadow.

Cat sight SUCKS to begin with. It sucks BADDD. They don't have color vision, they're significantly nearsighted, and they can't track up-and-down movements well. WC doesn't write realistic cats (more like small fuzzy people really) and I also work with more humanesque eyesight, but the only thing Jay should really lose is an ability to rapidly track a small animal swerving fast. Blind cats are often still excellent hunters in spite of that!

So it's an extra big waste that they railroaded him into a position he didn't choose, saying he couldn't be a warrior. This is the perfect disability to write, if you want to explore how ableism can impact the characters in this society who ARE legitimately still capable of nearly full independence, but still need to find accommodations for what they can't do.

In the same arc they're doing the dumb Cinder Reincarnation Plotline, no less!! Where SHE is also feeling like she has no choice over her "destiny," and gets a conflict over a potentially disabling injury

"Oh nooo if cinderpaw breaks her leg she wont be a warrior!"

"What the f-- Im Jaypaw and im reporting live from the scene where a Category 1 Idiot Moment is taking place. Woman breaks leg, suddenly everyone believes she is a horse, more at 11."

One of these days I should really make "herb guides" just covering how various sensory disabilities impact the lives of Clan cats and some tips for writing them as warriors, especially between Clans. Stuff you wouldn't usually consider, like how much noise deaf cats tend to make, how RiverClan would get a ton of sinus infections and lose their sense of smell, being blind in Sky vs Thunder, etc.

[greywindys]

I'm completely neutral on the subject so I hope I don't come across as disagreeing with you or anything but why do you dislike TNN/P5? I've just noticed you've stated that a few times now so I wanna know the deets🤣

You definitely don't come across as disagreeable at all! I'm not offended by curiosity, or even respectful disagreement. So, feel free to disagree with me after this answer. I dislike TNN for a few reasons, some directly related to the phase, some simply for the state of fandom at the time, which isn't exactly TNN's fault, but it is what it is.

How it started - I distinctly remember Damon remarking that he felt bad that fans missed 2D on Humanz, which led to him recording TNN (or at least played a notable role in his decision). This was the first crack in my faith in the project. For all the hyping fans do about Jamon ~not caring what people think, and ~not caring about dumb popularity points like those other stupid artists, this was..unexpected. I'm probably projecting my own philosophy as a creator here, but it's incredibly difficult for me to imagine a scenario where I would change my plans because my audience wanted me to. My original vision, my creative process, is all important to me, even if people get annoyed or disagree with how I operate. More than anything, creating has to be fulfilling for me. I used to think Gorillaz was the same, and maybe they still are to some extent, but I didn't like the idea of Damon essentially creating an apology album.

The album was boring. Come at me! Lmao. But yeah. I've analyzed the fuck out of "Souk Eye," but I've only listened to it all the way through once. I would take another Humanz over TNN, musically.

Murdoc being the plot, but never in any art. People always complain about Murdoc "taking over the story." I agree to a point. P5 still sucked for me as a Murdoc fan because there was barely anything for me to gif or edit this phase. I would trade Murdoc in a support role for more Murdoc animation.

Murdoc being in jail the entire, Murdoc "dying." TNN took place during a time where Murdoc hate was at its peak. I wrote out of spite, but it was genuinely annoying to see people I was friends with being told they were terrible people/abusers etc for liking Murdoc. When he "died," even though it was obviously temporary, people only got harassed and mocked more. This may sound petty, but it was SO annoying.

The set up didn't lead anywhere. If I was going to suffer through so many unfunny memes and people obsessing over their hate for a fictional character, it could have at least ended with something. I was relieved and happy it didn't turn into a 2D possession story line, but the ending was so botched. I just wish it had been a different plot entirely.

But I can also say good things about TNN. It gave us 2D's journal, and "Souk Eye." Murdoc actually re-joined Gorillaz on my birthday that year - literally on the exact date (not that Jamon had any way of know or planning for that, but it was wild).

TNN came out when I wasn't expecting it. I had started writing The Answer at the end of Humanz with the hope that the I wouldn't make too many waves writing 2Doc with a less active fandom. Gorillaz always took long hiatuses, so this was what would happen this time, right? Lmao. Needless to say, it made me very anxious. I also had to adjust my plans chapter to chapter to stay up to date with TNN "lore." It again wasn't anything Gorillaz could control, nor was it their responsibility, but ngl, this did frazzle me at the time. In the end, I see it as a positive because it challenged me, and helped create a fandom experience that I would never exchange for anything. That story means a lot to some people (and me for that matter!), and I would also never want to take that away from them.

So, the final assessment is that my feelings are very mixed. I had fun in the little section of fandom I carved out for myself at the time, but everything around me I associate with chaos and volatility.

[kingdaddydaichi]

can i request consensual hate sex between bakugou and f!reader

Oooooh yassssss! This idea got better and better the more I thought about it, Nonny. Love it! I hope you enjoy this naughty little slice of grudge fuck pie. 💖

Riding The Fine Line 💥 Katsuki Bakugou x f!reader 💥 NSFW

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT or I'll have my Big Scary BoomBoom Man blow your little ass up!

Word Count: 2k

"Oi! Who picked this shitty restaurant anyway?", Bakugou sneered as he walked towards the table.

You rolled your eyes and mumbled, "Oh look, Gorilla Man is here".

"Watch it, shitty girl. M'not in the mood for your shit tonight".

You'd made plans earlier in the week to meet Kiri and Mina for dinner. You knew Bakugou had been invited too, but after having suffered through it so many times over the past year or so of having some friends in common, you somehow managed to tolerate his presence. It helped that the drink you'd been sipping on made him somewhat less intolerable than usual.

It was like nails down a chalkboard every time Bakugou reared his big dumb head. His only redeeming quality was that he was quite easy on the eyes. Shame that such a hot guy is also such a huge asshole.

He's always given everyone a hard time, but unlike most people, you just wave a dismissive hand at him. And it makes him crazy. He doesn’t understand why he doesn’t get under your skin like he so easily does others. Oh, he annoys the piss out of you to be sure, but he doesn't hurt your feelings per se.

"Y'know, for such a massive ego yours sure is delicate, you meat head".

"Oh yeah? Well, for such a massive ass yours s-"

"God, Bakugou, do you ever just shut up?", you snipped.

Kiri and Mina both jumped in, laughing nervously and smoothing things over to lower the tension. He growled at you. You flipped him a subtle bird before looking away and trying to ignore him.

💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

Kiri's birthday was approaching and several of his friends decided to throw him a surprise birthday party. You, Denki, Mina, and ugh, as luck would have it, Bakugou, were are all put in charge of decorating his house while some other friends took him out for dinner. Midway through, Mina whined while sorting through various sacks, "Oh no! We forgot the disposable rainbow shot glasses!" Mina had a way of putting a cute touch on everything she had her hands in. Denki offered to go with Mina to procure the missing miniature party cups, leaving you and Bakugou alone to hang streamers in Kiri's living room. Probably not the wisest of decisions, but consider the source. 👀

It didn't take long after they were gone for Bakugou to start in on you with his bullshit. Only this time no one was around to referee. You groaned. This was going to be a free for all. You'd already both cut eyes at each other a couple of times.

"You're not doing it right, dumbass!"

"That's a matter of opinion and you can shove yours up your ass, dumbass".

He flipped you off saying, "You can shove this up your ass!", then turned back to his task.

You were so done. Without thinking, you reared back and hurled the roll of streamers as hard as you could, nailing him right in the back of the head. Damn, it felt good.

He whipped around, a vein popping out of his forehead, clenching his teeth. You were quite proud of your aim until he made little explosions in his free hand and said, "You're really pushing your luck with me, woman! If we weren't in Kiri's house right now I'd blast you right through that fucking wall!"

"Pfft, whatever! You wouldn't do shit. You're all bark and no bite, you fucking douche canoe!"

"You ever stop to think that maybe if you weren't such a bitch guys might actually want to talk to you?"

That did it. He'd finally found one of your hot buttons and you couldn't take his shit anymore. You marched right up to him and got right up in his face, height difference be damned.

"You know what, fuck you, Bakugou! I'm not normally like this! You're the only person who…drives me to this madness!", you spat with tears in your eyes.

A second later, his hands were on either side of your face, crashing his lips down onto yours. You were so shocked you froze before pulling away from him, staring at him in astonishment. He just stood there, huffing, glaring back at you, waiting.

You stepped forward and pushed him, his back hitting the wall, hard. But before he could protest, your lips were on his again. He grabbed you by your arms and spun you around, pinning you against the wall. You slipped your tongue past your open mouth, his meeting yours halfway as he pushed his knee between your legs. He pressed his thigh against your sex, shoving his growing cock against your thigh in the process.

Taking the bottom of his shirt into two fistfuls, you eagerly pushed it up to his chest, exposing his washboard abs and god-like pecs. He quickly pulled it over his head and threw it to the floor while your shaky hands got busy with his belt and zipper, urgently, like you couldn't get to him soon enough. But his will took over when he grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head so he could peel your shirt off. He dipped down to take a mouthful of your tit, cupping what he couldn't fit in his rough hand, swirling his tongue around your nipple, sucking, then releasing you from the inside of his mouth to flick the tip of his tongue over your pink nub. You grabbed two handfuls of his ash blond locks and arched your back off the wall as he gave your other breast the same treatment.

You impatiently tugged on his hair, hungry for the taste of his sweet lips again. Your tongues once again fought for dominance and you gasped when he picked you up in one swift movement. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he carried you to Kiri's bedroom, swinging the door shut behind him before slamming your back against it.

"Put me down", you said forcefully.

He stopped sucking on your neck long enough to rasp, "And why the fuck should I?"

"Because I want to get into your fucking pants, asshole".

For once you two agreed on something and with your feet back on the floor, you got back to work on his pants before reaching in and wrapping your hand around his hot dick. Shit, you could barely get your fingers all the way around it, it was so thick. You stroked him a couple of times before pulling him out, exposing his manhood in all of its mouth-watering glory.

He ran his hand down his sculpted stomach, spreading his fingers to either side of his girth. "Like what you see?" You realized you were staring at his dick and the pre that dripped from it.

"Wouldn't you like to know?", you sassed.

He growled and spun you around, pushing your front against the wall and swiftly closing in behind you. Wisps of your (color) hair fluttered around his hot breath as he breathed down your neck. "You keep on tryin' to hide it, but you want me just as much as I want you, princess, and I'm gonna make an honest girl outta ya".

His battle-hardened hands found their way down your back, around your waist and all the way to your belly before he slid them down, his fingers reaching below your waistband. You willed him to push his hands further down, pressing your backside against his erection. He used one deft hand to unbutton your pants and work your zipper down, granting himself better access. When he mercifully slipped his middle finger between your folds, you couldn't choke back the moan that emerged from the back of your throat.

"Damn", he growled behind your ear, "for someone who can't stand me, your pussy sure is wet for me".

"Shut up", you gritted through your teeth.

The feeling of the rough pad of his finger teasing your swollen clit nearly sent you over the edge. But it was short-lived and you whined when he pulled his hand away to shove your pants down around your ankles, accompanied by your damp panties. Your hands slid down the wall as he yanked your ass back towards him. You hung your head and watched the head of his cock as Bakugou fucked your thighs, back and forth over your slit, coating his fat cock with your slick, readying himself.

When he began pushing into you, your legs shook from the sheer pressure as he slowly filled you up. When he bottomed out, he held himself still, at least considerate enough to give you time to adjust to his size. He waited until you started grinding against him before grabbing your hips, and slowly withdrawing.

"Now let's see if I can fuck all that hate for me out of you". Before you could retort, he slammed his cock back into you, your pitiful cry mixed with his loud groan echoing off the walls of Kiri's bedroom. He set his pace, steady and hard, the cold buckle of his open belt pressing into your skin with every crash of his hips.

"Yeah, who knows? Maybe if you'd get your dick wet every once in a while you wouldn't act like one", you quipped, voice faltering as he pounded into you.

He slowed his pace to bend over you, pushing your hair out of the way before biting down on the nape of your neck.

"Oww!! What the fuck?!"

He stood up straight again, laughing and said, "All bark and no bite, hah? You just hadn't pushed me far enough yet!" The sweet and salty mixture of his sweat and your need could be heard with every loud slap of his skin against yours.

"Fuck! Bakugou-", you whined in spite of yourself.

He grabbed a fistful of your hair and gave it a firm tug. "When're ya gonna stop callin' me by m'last name and call me Katsuki instead?"

"When you stop acting like a raging asshole towards me", you managed as he fucked the breath out of you.

"Brave words for someone in such a compromising position. Now - say - my - fucking - name!". Each word came with its very own plunge of his cock into your mess of a cunt.

Your legs started to give out. "Katsuki!" You hadn't meant to obey him, but he'd kept his word and made you honest.

"That's better". You could hear the smirk in his voice after hearing his first name fall from your quivering lips.

You turned to face him when he pulled out, kissing him hard, his fingers going into your hair. You inched backwards onto the bed, Katsuki crawling in towards you with a primal look in his crimson eyes before nestling his thighs between yours and sheathing himself deep inside you again. Your head rolled back as you arched your back off the bed. Gods, the feeling of him filling you up was quickly becoming your new favorite sensation.

He nuzzled his face against your neck as he rutted into you, pulling your thigh up to his hip bone, raking his teeth against your skin. His breathing had become more labored and he started thrusting faster, your pleasure mounting with the increased friction of his pubic bone against your clit until rays of bliss shot out from every pore of your skin at the speed of light.

"K-ka-tsuki, I'm c-cumming hahh oh goddd!" The pulsating grip that you had on him finally sent him to his end as well, growling your name and cursing between clenched teeth, burying himself deep inside you as he unloaded rope after thick rope of his white hot cum into your snug, soft warmth.

"Seems Shitty Hair’s gonna get more than one surprise tonight", Katsuki said, catching his breath.

You laughed so hard that Katsuki hissed at the feeling of your walls squeezing his sensitive cock so soon after his orgasm.

"You still hate me?", he asked, brushing his lips against yours, supporting his weight with his elbows.

"Hmm...that depends", you said thoughtfully, tracing the cut of his back muscles with your fingertips.

"On what?"

"On whether or not you'd still fuck me if I don't hate you".

He smirked. "I'd still hit it even if you love me", he whispered, showing his softer side as he kissed you, smiling.

[imagines-mha]

✧ what fanfic trope hq boys would fit best with ✧

Daichi- established relationship. Everything’s gentle and soft when your boyfriend’s making pancakes in the morning. 

Suga- mutual pining. Aching, yearning souls and quick-stepped heartbeats lead to sleepless nights and blasting taylor swift at 2am. it’s a rollercoaster kinda rush

Noya- high school au. He’s the class clown who never has his homework done, and you’re his favourite audience member who always sends him the answers before you leave the house

Ennoshita- tutor au. He helps you pass all your tests AND makes you fall in love with him at the same time?? What more can you want?

Tsukishima- bully au. Teasing remarks and shoves in the corridors turn to handing you his umbrella and walking you home at night. Its bittersweet

Yamaguchi- fate au. You keep bumping into him at the most unexpected places until you finally realise it was the universe putting you in your place all along

Kuroo- wrong number au. You never knew who kenma was until you’re mistaken for him one night, by a boy who gives you no choice but to fall in love with him through text

Yaku- *gasp* and there was only one bed. Waking up tangled in someone else’s arms never felt so good

Kenma- online au. You troll people in among us servers for fun. One day, you hear his laugh and realise its the sweetest sound you have ever heard

Lev- he does something dumb and ends up with both of you in hospital but you slowly start to fall for him even if he almost killed u and if that aint love idk what is

Bokuto- college au. He’s the local frat boy and you always end up caught in his elaborate plans to escape responsibilities 

Akaashi- dark academia au. Quiet glances and discussing books at 10am. Recommendations and coffee runs. Its soft and delicate.

Konoha- lost phone au. He leaves it on a bench and you call it, falling immediately into the rabbit hole of meeting him and the rest of his friends. you feel like you’re living in a 2013 wattpad fanfic

Oikawa- best friends to lovers. You kiss his flaws away and smack him when he overworks himself, and he calls you a bitch. You wouldnt have it any other way

Makki- party au. You dont know how you ended up jumping into a freezing cold swimming pool with a boy you just met, but the adrenaline rush his smiles give you is once in a lifetime and you decide to roll with it

Iwa- hurt/comfort. Noone makes you want to succeed more than iwaizumi, and noone kisses the rough callouses on his hands quite like you do

Futakuchi- enemies to lovers. The only person who can handle his snarky comments is you- what a pity he finds you insufferable

Aone- soulmates au. You don’t need a lot of words to know he’s the one- you can feel it in all the silent little building blocks

Ushijima- childhood friends to lovers. You understand his gentle nature better than anyone else, and he’s been your personal bodyguard ever since the age of seven

Semi- band au. He’s a rockstar and you’re his favourite groupie. He writes songs for you that make you feel like the centre of the universe

Shirabu- cafe au. Hes an overworked med student and you’re the barista who always seems to brighten his day and who knows his order by heart

Kita- arranged marriage au. At first you hated your betrothed out of spite, but he defies every single quality you held him to. 

Suna- fwb to lovers. He swears love isn’t real until its 3am and you’re tracing his scars at a bus stop with only the sounds of your breathing to bring him back to earth

Atsumu- fake dating au. He’s petty and needs an s/o for christmas to impress the family. You fall in love with supposedly the most insufferable man you’ve ever met

Osamu- work au. Getting a job at his shop was the single best decision you’ve ever made

Terushima- one-night stand. It’s second nature for him to leave before waking up next to someone until he finds himself counting the colors in your eyes at 11am, cozy in a hotel room

Sakusa- secret relationship. Holding hands beneath the table and sharing knowing glances whenever something happens. So, so many inside jokes

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 139 Review Part I: On Eren Jeager and Genocide

Why?

Why is this happening?

Folks, I’m going to be honest here: there are no words for this. The main thrust of this chapter is completely inexplicable. It’s stupid. It’s ill conceived. FML.

Just…just the term itself is laughable.

Eren redemption arc.

Sksksksksksksksksksksk

After everything he’s done, everyone he’s killed, you’re going to try redeeming Eren in the final chapter?

Eren didn’t need to be redeemed. He was a bullheaded kid who didn’t let anyone stop him from doing what he thought needed to be done. He sees the titans outside the walls as enemies to be exterminated. When he learns that his real enemies are other humans, who have a right to freedom as much as he does, he can’t accept it and decides to just exterminate them too. That mindset led him down a tragic path of genocide.

That’s not a bad character arc!

In fact, I’d say it’s very compelling. Nonconformity and obstinance are often presented as virtues; flipping that paradigm on its head and showing the vices of those virtues was legitimately smart and provocative.

Making people rethink what traits are virtues and vices is a great moral to the story, and it paired well with the other moral of cooperation and loving your fellow people.

Then this chapter came out, and they threw all that away.

Eren’s arc once made me think of Aristotle, who argued that true virtue lied between extremes: neither too submissive nor too rebellious.

Now Eren’s arc makes me think of pseudointellectual 4chan philosophy, and dumb teenagers: “He’s not a bad guy, he’s just human!!!”

Eren’s motivations are a mess now. He had no free will, but he also had a plan, but deep down he wanted to do the rumbling no matter what, but actually he really wanted to be with Mikasa.

Oh, and B T dubs, he killed his mom too.

You can tell Isayama is desperate to make Eren as sympathetic as possible to justify making him the anti-hero because he’s throwing everything he can pull out of his ass at Eren.

Really, though, all he ended up doing was smearing shit on the character.

Eren’s plan was to kill a significant part of the human population so the world wouldn’t be as overwhelming a threat as before. Simultaneously, he planned (“planned”) for the alliance to become vaunted heroes to the world when they killed him, thus paving the way to peace.

This…makes no sense?

There is no reason Eren should have believed this would work. During the battle of Trost, Pixis asked him if humanity could unite if threatened by a common enemy. Eren said no.

Eren is a pessimist about people. He sees how much the walldians fought with each other and concluded that people would always be at odds.

And the Tybur family helped defeat the Eldian Empire, but only the Tyburs were seen as heroes by the Marleyans. That good will was not imputed from the Tyburs to the other Eldians on the continent. There’s no reason to think that would happen here when it didn’t back then.

I’m assuming, anyway, that the alliance becoming heroes is supposed to lead to a world where Paradis is safe since that’s supposed to be Eren’s goal.

I’m willing to grant that maybe this part of Eren’s plan was more of a hope on his part. Peace would come only after his death, so he can’t truly “plan” for anything afterwards.

I think it’s safe to say that killing the world’s population was the main part of his plan, since that’s the part he had the most control over.

To the extent he had any control over his actions, which brings me to the next point.

So, turns out Eren had no free will.

Can you not feel Isayama’s desperation?

After all the awful things Eren’s done, Isayama’s brilliant idea to make him sympathetic is to strip him of all agency.

This is done by two routes throughout the chapter.

The first is by building him up as a victim. Eren’s mind is fucked; he can’t really control himself. Any decent person would feel pity for him, which is reinforced by the sorrow Armin visibly feels for him.

Then, like a shotgun blast to the face, we are told that Eren killed his mother in a moment that is clearly supposed to endear us to him.

This is such a transparent appeal for our sympathy. Isayama’s desperation leaps off the page and mugs us of it.

The only thing that this revelation adds to the story is that it gives Armin a reason to take up Eren’s hand, and show him support. You can see Armin’s heart breaking for Eren in that moment.

That’s mostly why this is here: to give the mass murderer a hard luck story so our hearts melt for him.

The second route is that depriving Eren of agency absolves him of blame for what he did.

Eren beat Armin bloody, but you can’t really blame him for it. He was drugged out on the Founding Titan and didn’t want to do it. He was acting on impulse, just going with the flow, so he deserves, at the very least, some leniency.

Eren both having a plan and not having much in the way of free will is contradictory. Everyone still talks about Eren as if he’s someone who is doing stuff even though we’re told he’s not really capable of rational decision making.

I’m going to be nice and assume Isayama’s intent is that when you parse this all out, you end up in a place where Eren is not truly responsible for what he did, and in any event this all ended with the titan curse broken and the world at peace, sooooo break out the champagne everyone, we achieved world peace!

…

Yeah, bub, I’m not partying right now.

Isayama’s ploy to absolve Eren of blame didn’t work. Eren is still responsible for the people he killed and his Founding Titan lobotomy counts for shit. Turns out it helps to know how free will works when you’re writing about free will.

Free will is the quality of being in control of your actions, at least to the extent necessary to be held responsible for them.

Eren was just going with the flow (wonder what Annie thought of that…), acting on impulse, and getting dragged along by fate, but that’s not actually important.

It’s been known for centuries that current events are caused by previous events and that the current events will bring about future events in a never ending chain of cause and effect. One domino causes another to fall causes another to fall and on and on. This is called determinism.

And that’s ok because we free will exists. It exists even if we can’t do anything other than what we are going to do. It exists in spite of, or even arises out of, determinism.

This premise, that free will and determinism are not mutually exclusive, is the foundation for a family of theories about free will called compatibilism.

Compatibilist free will is the most popular theory of free will. There are a couple of variations on the basic idea, but the gist is that free will exists when your actions can be linked to an aspect of yourself that you identify with.

For example, if you had no choice but to do something, but you’re ok with that because it’s what you wanted anyway, then you have free will.

Even if I didn’t know you’d stop me in the end, I think I still would have flattened this world. 

-Eren Jeager

That’s all I needed to hear.

EREN, FUCK YOU!!!!

Eren had free will, at least as much as necessary to blame him for his genocide.

Isayama threw this curveball at us and all it did was ruin Eren as a character while leaving him just as repugnant as before. Incredible. It’s the worst of both worlds.

Before this chapter Eren was a guy who believed in something and followed that belief no matter who got in his way. That was great! It was tragic and sad, but great storytelling.

Where does this chapter leave us?

What we learn in this chapter is that Eren didn’t really believe in anything. He may have free will enough to be a shithead for what he did, but that doesn’t mean he has free will enough to be an interesting character.

Eren coming to grips with him not being free, in an absolute sense, would have been so much more interesting than what we got. Eren started the series comparing humanity to cattle in a pen. He ends the series being literally sheparded by fate to his death like cattle to a slaughterhouse.

And yet we get no exploration of that at all.

It’s lame. Everything about this is lame. From a storytelling perspective, Eren was just along for the ride. Who would want to reread this series now? A story about a boy who’s quest for freedom neither ends tragically nor happily, but is just forgotten about by the end. What’s the point?

There is none.

Eren’s journey ends up lost in the author’s own ignorance of the very thing this is supposed to be about.

Unfortunately, SNK isn’t interested in 80% of the world being dead. If it were, Eren wouldn’t have gotten such a warm send off.

I was honestly shocked when I read this chapter.

I thought it had been made clear. SNK had come firmly down against genocide. I never imagined Isayama would try a 180 in the final chapter.

And, well, he did, and here we are.

SNK is pro-genocide.

To wit:

Once Eren’s abominable plan is explained to everyone, he is lavished with love and comfort by his friends.

Armin did punch Eren for being callous about Mikasa, but overall all Armin had nothing but sympathy and understanding for Eren. They held hands and hugged and gave Eren a tender farewell.

All they talk about is how great a sacrifice Eren is making.

Not the sacrifice of 80% of all people, but the sacrifice that Eren personally is making of himself.

I don’t know what deranged mindset Isayama has that made him think this was sensible, but no, Eren is not sacrificing anything. He was always going to die. We’ve known this for several dozen chapters. It’s not a sacrifice to befall the fate you were always going to suffer.

He lost nothing. If anything, he gained from this ending.

Eren died knowing he was loved and appreciated by his friends. What more could a dying man ask for?

Eren is rewarded by the story for killing 80% of humanity.

His ultimate fate was no worse than was expected even before he committed the genocide, and he went out in the knowledge that his friends loved him for it.

It doesn’t even make logical sense that his friends would be so receptive to what he did.

There is no difference between Eren’s plan and what we thought Eren’s plan was before this chapter came out.

Armin thought Eren’s plan was to murder humanity to ensure his safety, and Armin was appalled. Armin was willing to sacrifice his life to ensure Eren failed. He was truly acting for the greater good of humanity.

In this chapter, Armin learns that Eren’s plan is actually to murder most of humanity to ensure his safety, and Armin loves him.

Again, hand holding, hugging, “thank you.” No mention of the unfathomable harm caused. The 80% killed are not even a footnote in this chapter.

Even after the fact, Eren’s friends showed no qualms with Eren essentially winning and procuring their safety through genocide.

When previously the mere thought of that was what motivated them to lay down their lives to stop him.

I don’t think Isayama believes this genocide is supposed to bear on how we think of Eren. I say, having just read the chapter that’s all about Eren, in which his genocide doesn’t bear on how his friends think of him. At all.

Was that too great a leap in logic? I apologize if my rationality offends you.

Eren may have died, but he won in the end.

His friends are safe and the world looks set to conclude a peace treaty with Paradis.

I don’t buy for a second that the world is a threat to Paradis anymore, and I don’t buy for a second that there won’t be a peace shortly after the end of the story.

It’s very telling, to me, that it’s the world that’s come to grovel at Paradis’ feet, begging for peace, when previously it was the other way around.

The contours of this “peace,” if you can call it that, were made pretty clear in the epilogue. The world is in ruins while Paradis is stronger than ever, so the world sues for peace for fear of Paradis attacking further. 

This is the moral of the story. Frankly, it’s been staring at us in the face the whole time.

How do you end the cycle of violence?

The answer is to win. To be stronger. More determined.

The only peace is enforced peace through domination.

Peace through the barrel of a gun.

To be continued in part II (and possibly part III)

[lan-xichens]

"i swear if i see one more post saying he's a himbo i'll write an essay again" pls write the essay anyway ill pay u in appreciation and xichen love

Lan Xichen is my favourite character for a good reason, but I knew this was going to be lengthy, which is why it took me so long, sorry about that!

The issue with calling him a ‘himbo’ is obviously the assumption that Lan Xichen would somehow be unintelligent or even dumb, which just isn’t true. I think it comes down to a couple of scenes in which people trip over lxc’s way of communicating, and mistake this for stupidity.

1. Defeating the Waterborne Abyss

In CQL, Wei Wuxian immediately suggests there may be a connection between the sudden emergence of evil water spirits and the spirit-snatching case, but Lan Xichen dismisses this, and tells him to focus on the night-hunt. Wei Wuxian knows he isn’t ignorant of the connection, as he remarks to Lan Wangji:

Which he is. But that is only explained later.

For now, we stay ignorant of the connection, and when Lan Wangji prods his brother for more information at the end of the episode, he receives an equally evasive answer:

This is one of the quotes I’ve seen mocked. Going by Viki subs, he says:

“I hope that it isn’t what I think it is. But if it is... we might not be able to stop it.”

Which, yes, is exceptionally vague. It could even sound as if he doesn’t know what he’s saying and he’s making something up, as I’ve seen it interpreted.

Except, of course, the show perfectly explains why Lan Xichen couldn’t tell them about the connection. In the CQL-verse, the hidden Yin Metal in Cloud Recesses is a secret only imparted to clan leaders, which Lan Xichen reveals to Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji after they have already been given that piece by Lan Yi.

And Lan Xichen readily admits this, even apologising and explaining to Lan Wangji that:

So, he had to lie. His words were empty because he couldn’t tell him the truth, and he was being vague on purpose.

2. After the Cloud Recesses are burned

Here comes my least favourite piece of meta about Lan Xichen:

“Guangyao helped wash Xichen’s clothes, because Xichen himself did not know how to wash. It was not possible to ask others to wash, because it would be dangerous if the cloud patterns were recognised. Moreover the clothes could not be thrown away or burnt.Jin Guangyao used to complain to Nie Mingjue that Lan Xichen’s arm was too strong that he tore apart his clothes while washing…
“ [from this post]

There’s nothing to say about this except that it’s very clearly the author’s sense of humour. After all, isn’t the entire start of the Wangxian relationship about trying to ruffle Lan Wangji’s feathers? It’s like, what’s the funniest thing we can do to the unflappable Twin Jades of Lan? That’s right, put them in awkward and embarrassing situations.

3. Playing Liebing

I’m only bringing this one up because I want to segue into a difference I noticed between GDC and CQL for that one scene Lan Xichen brings out Liebing to play a short tune, seemingly out of nowhere, after he’s told Wei Wuxian about Lan Wangji’s scars and the story of their parents.

In the novel, Lan Xichen discusses the morality of the decision his mother made to kill his father’s teacher, but indicates he’d rather not know the answer as to why she did it.

After a few moments of silence, Lan XiChen closed his eyes. He took out Liebing. A gust of night wind suddenly sent forth a sobbing note of the xiao. The sound was deep, like a sigh.

Wei WuXian had heard Lan XiChen play Liebing before. Its timbre was just like Lan XiChen himself, as warm and graceful as the breeze and the rain of spring. Yet, now, although his technique was as excellent as ever, the tone evoked a strange mixture of feelings. - GDC chapter 64

Realistically, it’s a bit odd to do this - but I think the text makes it quite clear he’s using music to express his conflicted emotions.

The difference with CQL is that the flute solo occurs after a different bit of conversation: it’s when he relates to Wei Wuxian that Lan Wangji suffered as much from his mother leaving him as he did Wei Wuxian, that he is as confused having grown up up being told of his mother as a criminal as he is with Wei Wuxian. It’s another desperate attempt to signal to Wei Wuxian that my younger brother loves you how can you not see that and he gives him time to think that over by playing a tune.

(okay but it’s still at least a bit funny that he ends the conversation with anyway here’s wonderwall let’s be honest)

4. Jin Guangyao’s betrayal

I’m just going to cut this short and wave in the general direction of this post by @acutebird-fics, which just excellently explains why Lan Xichen was right to be cautious in his judgement.

As for the rest: the parallels between Wei Wuxian & Lan Wangji and Jin Guangyao & Lan Xichen are very clear. After the disastrous encounter at Carp Tower, Lan Xichen asks Lan Wangji to explain what’s going on, after which Jin Guangyao’s crimes are presented.

Lan Xichen’s hesitance is only frustrating to the audience because the story is narrated from Wei Wuxian’s POV. We already know that he is innocent of the deeds he is accused of. We already trust him and his judgement, because we literally saw it on screen with our own eyes. But in spite of this, is it so difficult to accept that a character who hasn’t seen that proof comes to this conclusion?

He looked at Wei WuXian, “You trust Young Master Wei, while I trust Jin GuangYao. The fact that Brother’s head is in his hands, neither of us have seen it with our own eyes. We only believe in what another person says based on how much we know about them.”

“You think that you know about Wei WuXian, so you trust him; I think that I know about Jin GuangYao, so I trust him as well. You believe in your judgement, then am I not allowed to believe in my judgement?” - GDC chapter 63

Yes, yes you are. It’s just that the audience is miles ahead of you that this might lead to frustration. But that doesn’t mean it’s lack of judgement, or lack of intellect, because this makes complete and utter sense.

5. That other part of being a himbo

Because it’s not just about being dumb, but also about being tall and broad and buff. Usually not in the most positive of senses. If you think this, read this, then stop thinking this. It’s not very on-topic because I don’t think this connection is made by anyone, but I still want to have that out there.

In short, I don’t see why Lan Xichen is considered a himbo, and I also don’t think the joke is all that funny anymore. I’d rather see some more appreciation for this incredibly interesting and kind character ♡

[sepublic]

Why Choose?

           Yet another thing I appreciate about The Owl House is its defiance to the concept of having to ‘choose’ between different options, a simple yet empowering question; Why can’t you have it all?

           Like, why does Luz have to choose between her blood and found family? Why can’t she enjoy Camila AND her friends in the Boiling Isles, why can’t Luz choose to find a home in the Owl House while also reconciling with her mother who clearly wants the best for her? Why do people have to choose between different magic tracks? Why do you have to choose between being an individual but being alone like Eda was, or being a part of the group but losing identity like Lilith did? Why not be like Luz, and be your own person, AND form connections, comradery, and family with others?

           Why choose between being allowed to relax and be taken care of, yet coddled and infantilized, VS having respect as someone who can make decisions and actions for themselves, but not get allowed to be a kid? Why can’t people like Amity or King be taken seriously and have their opinions listened to, AND be allowed to be treated as actual kids for once? Why choose between Hexside’s conventional education, and Eda’s unconventional lessons- Why not both for Luz? Why choose between being a Wild Witch with access to all forms of magic, but being persecuted… Or being a member of the Emperor’s Coven with all forms of magic, but an enforcer of a corrupt system? Why not just work together to get rid of this dumb system so everyone can have free access to magic, no strings attached?

           It’s very much a question that challenges the system, a system that insists that this is just how things are… It’s a system that insists on choosing between things, about prioritizing between choices, and deciding that THIS is better, and more preferable… When in reality, why choose between others or things at all? Why not have it all? Just as one wouldn’t choose between loved ones and try to compare/prioritize them, why does one have to choose between the things in life?

           It’s fitting that Emperor Belos is lowkey the embodiment of this more toxic, you HAVE to choose between things and rank them, in a form of hierarchy… He’s the one who established the Coven System. It’s his actions that force Lilith to choose between her dreams and her sister. It’s Belos’ desire for the portal that forces Luz to choose, even if temporarily, between her home on the Boiling Isles and her home with Camila. It reflects his black-and-white ways of thinking, of only ONE way of magic being the right way…

          Then we have Lilith, who at the time was enforcing Belos’ will, who makes Eda choose between her sister and her found family; And it’s Lilith, for even forcing this sort of decision, who loses this ‘all-or-nothing’ gamble by driving Eda away. It’s only when Lilith decides to accept Eda AND her found family into her life, that Lilith is able to make a step towards redemption. Both ironically and fittingly, the people who force others to choose, are ultimately forced to decide between either accepting this person into their life, and all of the ‘quirks’ that come with them; or rejecting them entirely! And Lilith can’t bear to reject her sister truly, so she learns to live with all of who Eda is, and not just the specific ‘idea’ of Eda that Lilith wants...

          Furthermore, Belos’ ideas of hierarchy and elitism connect to this idea that in order to be special, a person/decision has to be outright BETTER than the rest… Which relates to Luz’s maturity in Episode 2, how she learns that people can have their individual and unique worth, but at the same time nobody is inherently better than others! Just as each choice when it comes to a form of magic has its own unique worth, be it Potions or Abominations… So then, why choose as if one is inherently better than the rest? Why not keep access to ALL forms of magic, or all options in life? Why choose between loved ones, like one is better than the other, why can’t you love ALL of them?

           And, it helps with Luz serving as a narrative foil, this early on, to Belos… Belos makes people choose between magic tracks, makes them choose between individuality and loneliness VS belonging and conformity… He manufactures and creates divide. And THAT goes into how people feel obligated to compete with one another because of the Coven System, when in reality… Why can’t we ALL benefit, and do well together? Why do some have to be beneath the rest, in order for others to be ‘better’ or ‘special’? Why does anyone have to choose between their money or their life, when trying to get access to medicine set at exorbitant prices?

          It’s a defiant question against ideas of academic elitism, which this show also critiques… And it all favors an open mind and encouraging different ideas, which in turn relates to this show’s discussion about being neurodivergent and the value one still has in spite of what the system insists! It’s about making room for others, for other ways of thinking, other ideas, and incorporating them all together, because by the end of the day- Variety is the spice of life! A wonderful spice to add into the unusual soup brewing in the boiling seas, that is the community of the Boiling Isles!

[nakunakunomi]

Requested by @asarigolo​ 2nd person Genderneutral reader  No warnings! enjoy! <3 

It was a dumb marine exercise. Practice in navigation. Practice in survival. Straws were drawn, teams were formed and then said teams were dropped in the middle of nowhere. Artificial islands created by the navy, all kinds of wild nature situations, much like the ones you could come across all over the seas, designed specifically for all kinds of survival situations. After all, the chasing of pirates wasn’t a sea-only thing, and all marines needed to be able to survive under various difficult conditions. 

Generally, the task was regarded as something quite fun to do. The teams often made people friends forever, and more often than not the night served as a fun bonding time. There was nothing too life-threatening on the islands anyway, and while practicing useful skills, there was still some time for playful banter and such, as there was no imminent threat of dying. 

These dropping nights were not necessarily one of your favorite things to do. But then again, you didn't mind and they were far from the worst kind of training exercise. You just had a hard time bonding usually and after you had drawn your straw to find out who your partner would be for the exercise, you felt your heart sink a little. 

Vice admiral Smoker should have better things to do than to join a training exercise. But his loyal G5-crew were all participating and Smoker was not the kind of guy to just drop his crew and go do something else more fun himself. Just for one night he'd give up command and do the exercise. 

You had never really interacted much with the man, but you'd be lying if you said he had never caught your eye before. No pun intended, but you did think him smokin' hot. He was an overall attractive person, and the stories you had heard from him combined with his strong sense of justice, the love and compassion he felt for his crew -even if he would never straight out speak those feelings into existence, they were apparent in his actions and decisions-, his brains and his down-to-earth mentality just made the package complete. He was an all-round winner on the checklist for a perfect partner and now you were going to spend an entire night on a deserted island with him. You were pretty sure you had had dreams that went like that before, but seriously doubted that you'd be half as smooth as dream-you in your advances, let alone that the white-haired man would respond the way he did in your dreams. 

You were silent for most of the trip there. Smaller, dial-powered ships were meant to bring you to the islands. The plan was getting to the other side of the island where a pick-up team would wait. There was no other way off the island and its climate was set up to get lost easily. You got only very limited supplies. 

You were feeling a strange mix of giddy excitement and dread as the little boat sailed off and only you and Smoker were left. “Y/n” “what?” “I figured I’d introduce myself, since, well… I hadn’t done so yet. Of course I know who you are Vice-Admiral” He nodded, lighting a cigar, who knows how many of those he had been allowed to take with him in spite of the limited supplies, and the way his face lit up in the hue of the match made your heart skip a beat. You took a few deep breaths before starting to walk, Smoker following right behind you. “Let’s get this done then!”

You had been walking for a couple of hours already when you noticed just how hopelessly lost you were. Smoker had noticed one round earlier, annoyedly clicking his tongue. “So ehm… that’s not the plan right?” He shook his head in response, and pressed out a cigar against a tree trunk. “Sir, I hope you’re not planning on setting the forest on fire to find the way out?” You could see the slightest hint of a smirk on his face as he lit a new cigar. “Just marking where we’ve been, so at the very least we can avoid those paths.” You nodded understandingly as he made his way forward on the path, determined to get out asap. You carefully tapped the bark behind you making most of the ashes fall of the tree. 

You knew this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and a primetime bonding experience. Besides, he had only just started talking to you. Imagine what would happen if you got lost for a little longer… 

[absynthe--minded]

for the ship questions: all the odd numbers for russingon??? please and thank you

all the odd numbers!!

okay I am answering this one First but there are some other asks I technically got first so I’m going to exclude a few for the sake of answering all of them! I hope that’s okay. Below the cut for length and some quasi-NSFW discussion.

PRE-RELATIONSHIP:

1. How did they first meet?

this is actually the plot of one of my fics! Finno goes to a party with his parents, wanders off to get drunk and enjoy the free food, and winds up getting very drunk and then seeing Maitimo and assuming he’s a Maia because of how hot he is. he is in fact so very drunk that he straight up forgets that “Curufinwë” and “Fëanáro” are the same person and doesn’t understand why Maitimo is like “what the fuck why are you talking to me oh shit you’re hot”. (Maitimo ditches his date to the party to climb a tree, drink wine, and deal with the fact that he’s suddenly interested in a boy.)

5. Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Maitimo tried so fucking hard to resist his feelings. He basically tried to be like. Gay But By Telperion’s Light Only. he’d write poetry and burn it, he’d stare into the stars and the silver light and be Dreamy and Distant. (Finno leapt into having feelings with his whole self and everyone knew he was pining after someone. He kept trying to play it off as nothing serious, but everyone around him knew. Everyone.)

7. What would their lives be like if they had never met?

Maitimo would be married to the daughter of one of Fëanáro’s first and most loyal allies in the Tirion court. Her name was Cirissë, she was chosen for him by Fëanáro (with the clear caveat of “if you’d rather marry someone else please give me the name and I’ll arrange it”) and the expectation was that they’d have at least one child named Cantëafinwë. As the eldest of his House and since he didn’t have any great works or passions of his own, his “job” was to carry on Míriel Þerindë’s legacy. If he had objected to this or found something else to do with his life, Fëanáro would have given way, but Maitimo prior to meeting Findekáno was okay with having an arranged marriage. This wasn’t a decision made in spite of his feelings - he’d never said he wasn’t all right with it.

Findekáno would probably be drifting through life without really any sense of purpose - I’m going to assume that history goes very differently if they don’t meet, because not meeting implies that even the Darkening doesn’t quite go as planned - and I think he’d have settled for the single life, floating from party to party and social event to social event without ever really being rooted in something.

GENERAL:

1. Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Findekáno was the one who insisted they become proper friends and start spending time together, and who introduced Maitimo to the joys of fucking around in the meadows outside Tirion on their free days. He was bold, and intense, and bright, and constantly smiling. But it was Maitimo who confessed his feelings. They went out one day - it was Finno’s begetting day, and Maitimo had gotten him a falcon (they took up falconry as an excuse to be out and about and alone for days, but they’d been using Finwë’s mews and Finwë’s birds) and they were with their horses and their birds, and Maitimo very shyly admitted that what he felt was more than friendship.

Finno kissed him, and he almost fell out of his saddle and off his mare.

5. What’s their height difference? Age difference?

Their height difference is a little ridiculous. Maitimo is eight and a half feet tall, which is Very Tall by elvish standards. Finno is seven feet tall, which is on the taller side of “average” - his mother Anairë is taller than he is, and Artanís is like 7′9″. He comes up to about his husband’s sternum. Maitimo isn’t really built, though? He’s actually quite delicate and slender when you look at him on his own, but compared to quite a lot of other elves he’s buff as hell just by virtue of needing to be muscular to move all those bones around. Their age difference is actually something that’s kind of hard to calculate but I’ve worked it out - Maitimo is 90 solar years older than Finno, he was about the human equivalent of eighteen when his husband was born. They met for the first time when Maitimo was 190 solar years old and Finno was 100 solar years old - they were both adults, in the same stage of life.

7. Who takes the lead in social situations?

It depends on the social situation tbh! Findekáno tends to take the lead in most things that involve being a bright and shiny polite happy public figure, because he’s charismatic and intuitive and good at that kind of thing, but Maitimo will lead if it’s one of his few areas of expertise or if his husband is floundering. He does have a flair for the dramatic and it’s a very natural thing for him.

9. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

They both do, because they’re fortunate enough to have a telepathic bond that lets them communicate silently in a room full of other people. It made for some fascinating council meetings the few times they wound up sharing a space in that way.

LOVE:

3. Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

Elves don’t really have cheesy pick-up lines, but they’ve both fallen victim to sappy poetry. Maitimo probably holds the record there for sheer number of dumb things he’s said solely for the purposes of getting Finno’s attention, though. There are. A Lot of those.

5. Who initiates kisses?

Maitimo. Always, constantly. His primary method of affection and of emotional expression is “Kiss Husband” and he does it all the time.

7. What are their favorite things to do together?

I’m excluding sex from this because the answer to that question is “sex”, honestly. They like cooking (Maitimo cooks and Finno watches him), and going riding, and one time Maitimo climbed the side of a cliff and Finno went along with it solely to stare at his ass. Finno is terrible at archery and at the harp but he’ll do both of those things because they make his husband happy. They like reading, and discussing what they’ve read, and if they’d had the chance they would have enjoyed the theater.

9. Who’s more protective?

see this is sort of a weird question because like

Maitimo is Obviously Protective. He glowers, and he glowers protectively, and he does things like plant spies in Nolofinwë’s household so he can keep an eye on his husband’s movements. He considers himself Findekáno’s guard, and he’s very very paranoid so he’s very very good at guarding. (The one time he saves Findekáno from orcs and from Sauron he has several mental breakdowns all at once.) Maitimo is the obvious answer here.

But Finno will cross a room in half a second and vault over like sixteen tables to smack you with his riding glove and demand you duel him if he’s all the way on the other side of the hall and thinks he heard you considering insulting Maitimo.

It goes both ways tbh.

11. What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

The in-universe songs that apply to their relationship are basically all written about them, lol. I tend to headcanon that the song Findekáno sang is preserved through the ages to some extent and its ultimate form is the song that Sam sings in the tower of Cirith Ungol? So take that as you will.

Out of universe... well, I have a shitton of playlists, but I’ll leave you with the song that inspired my Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang fic, “Last Train Home” by Ryan Star.

13. Who remembers the little things?

It depends on the little things. Maitimo remembers every detail of every military operation he ever devised, but Findekáno remembers what day of the week it is.

DOMESTIC LIFE:

3. How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

Gil-galad would have been their kid in a happier world. He’s the biological son of Lalwendë Finwiel and Gildor Inglorion of the House of Finrod, sent to Barad Eithel when his mother and father were missing-presumed-dead after the Dagor Bragollach, and Findekáno adopted him as his ward and heir but didn’t keep him in Hithlum due to the danger.

(They do, however, have three additional children that they don’t find out about until Valinor, because Sauron is a mad scientist and he had unrestricted access to Maitimo for sixty years, and because Findekáno bled all over the Thangorodrim cliff-face when he slammed face-first into it. Those children are Autamar Autahala, whom I’ve mentioned before (he’s their eldest and the only one who’s descended from both of them), and Alya and Ailinwë, twins who are descended solely from Maitimo. Their three kids show up at their house one day, the same ages as they were when they all died, and that’s a fun time for everyone.)

Gil-galad is brave and fair and just and all that good shit you need to be a king. Autamar is kind of terrifying because growing up in Angband and being groomed to be a puppet ruler will do that to you, but he’s very smart and very dry-witted. Alya and Ailinwë died when they were quite young, but they’re very bright, and Alya is as fond of horses as Maitimo is. She also likes knives.

5. Who’s the stricter parent?

Maitimo. He’s got more experience parenting, as opposed to Finno who died and then suddenly found out that his ward had claimed him as a father - Maitimo basically raised his four youngest siblings, and Elrond and Elros, and he’s very good at being the strict dad. It’s the one thing he’s actually strict about outside his military work. But he’s actually a giant marshmallow underneath his stern exterior and he really wants to be a good father.

7. Who kills the bugs in the house?

This is a non-answer but they don’t kill bugs as a rule they’ll either let them outside or allow predator bugs to live in their spaces - lots of spider neighbors who pay rent by eating gnats. But as a rule Maitimo will do the gross or unseemly things just because he wants them done. Finno is a bit more of an obvious coward when it comes to those things.

9. Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Maitimo doesn’t sleep as often as Findekáno does, but Findekáno can usually entice him into coming back to bed.

11. Who likes to dance?

Maitimo is the one who really truly loves partnered dancing. He leads. Findekáno can and will dance alone, but it’s only after he marries that he truly becomes enchanted by the high romance of a good querië.

[thetypedwriter]

A Curse So Dark and Lonely Book Review

A Curse So Dark and Lonely Book Review by Brigid Kemmerer

My gosh, I feel like I have enormous feelings about this book. 

So, I had seen this book for awhile bestow the shelves at Barnes & Noble and while it drew the eye, it also didn’t entice me right away. I must have read snippets of the backside summary a dozen times before I finally succumbed and purchased it when the store was having a buy one, get one 50% off deal. 

Lame, I know. 

That being said, A Curse So Dark and Lonely surprised me in a lot of pleasant ways and at the end of the experience it was a book I genuinely enjoyed reading, despite the flaws throughout. 

First off, somehow, in ways that I don’t even fully understand, I did not realize that this was a retelling of Beauty and the Beast. 

You might ask, seeing the title, the reviews on the back literally calling it a retelling of a classic fairytale, the summary itself, and the basic premise, how did I not realize what the true nature of this book was?

I genuinely have no idea. 

I really don’t. 

It’s so flabbergasting that I don’t even have a proper answer for you other than Beauty and the Beast was not my favorite Disney movie growing up and that I probably should have spent more time checking out what bargain books to buy before I laid down the cash. 

Oh well.

That being said, retellings of classic fairy tales has been a fairly popular phenomenon in the YA literature scene (and popular culture as a whole, really) for the last couple of years and while I can see the appeal, it was never something that beckoned me. 

I’m not a huge fairytale fan to begin with so a retelling of the original doesn’t hold much sway in terms of intrigue and buy-in. 

If I had known what A Curse So Dark and Lonely truly was, I never would have bought it. Frankly, it’s a little sad because I genuinely would have missed out on a very fun and engaging read. Fortunately enough, however, my dumb actions actually paid off in good luck this time around. 

The whole premise is exactly what you’ve probably surmised up to this point: an enumeration of Beauty and the Beast with some modern fanfare and twists and turns along the way. 

Rhen is the current Crown Prince of Emberall, a country in some parallel world to the one that you and I currently exist in. With a series of twists, the main protagonist, Harper, is unwillingly hoisted from her homeland of Washington D.C. to the magical world of Emberfall, which unfortunately is not all that magical with a looming war on the horizon involving a neighboring nation, rumors of a savage beast that has wreaked havoc on the country, and a wicked witch that delights in torment and carnage to sadistic glee.  

Soon enough, a high school dropout with cerebral palsy soon finds herself in the imaginary role as the Princess of Disi, an allying nation that has promised aid and troops to Emberfall and potentially betrothed to the Crown Prince, Rhen. 

To make matters more complicated, Harper finds herself often in the company of Grey, the lone soldier of the Royal Guard and Rhen’s constant shadow, a figure she soon begins to trust despite herself. 

With a war on the horizon, the ever-present threat of the witch Lillith, the haunting promise of the beast’s return, and evolving feelings, A Curse So Dark and Lonely is a lovely concoction of both fast-paced action, romance, humor, and fantasy. This whole book gave me a pleasant buzz from start to finish. 

The plot itself, while recycled at its core, is fresh enough with the modern flare of Harper being from D.C. (Disi-this still makes me laugh), representation in the form of a character with a disability like cerebral palsy, interesting and complex relationships, and opposing enough with the threat of Lillith and future battles that it never seemed pithy or banal. 

While the world building is...mediocre, I don’t think it was amazing nor do I think it’s awful, it’s a useful enough background for the characters and their emotions to take place, which honestly is the real focus throughout the entire novel (although the author did take some liberties by inputting in things like the castle automatically regenerating food-how much more deus ex machina can you get?). 

  Kemmerer’s writing style is also fine. Nothing groundbreaking, but also not writing I find abhorrent or even unlikeable. She comes across as a typical YA author to me in terms of her vocabulary, her figurative language, and her writing style. 

The real focus, if you haven’t caught on by now, are the characters. 

I genuinely like all three main characters quite a bit, which, if you regularly read my reviews, is quite the anomaly. 

Rhen I find to be strangely complex. While he fits the mold of the brooding, arrogant prince that actually cares deeply for his people and his country quite well, I also found him more interesting than just the archetype of the royal son. 

He’s surly, dark, and quite temperamental. While he does care deeply about his people, he’s often selfish and petty. Honestly, he shouldn’t be very likable at all, but it’s for that reason alone that I do like him. 

I like that while he might be a good ruler he’s not necessarily a good person and I like the dichotomy and the conflict that implicitly comes with that struggle, a struggle often shown to the readers and the two other characters he’s closest with: Harper and Grey. 

In addition, often in YA I feel like authors constantly feel pressured to make romantic love interests “perfect” which to me, translates to being stereotypical and boring. Very often my favorite characters are the ones who are flawed and complicated-just like Rhen. 

Grey is also a character that I thought would be more simple than he actually turned out to be. I originally thought Grey was going to be the stoic, soldier type and while he is, I also really enjoyed seeing his lighter side, his sense of humor, his love for children, and the deadly loyalty that binds him not because of a curse or a spell, but because of his own stubbornness and dedication to the decision that he made and the refusal to break it.

I found this honor code fascinating and his adherence to it almost obsessive. His loyalty to Rhen is both baffling and intriguing and often it was the best part of the novel for me. 

Which brings me to my next point: Rhen and Grey’s relationship is hand’s down the best part of this book. It’s a complicated relationship and, therefore, really fascinating to read about it. They have a serpentine history involving Grey being the one to let Lillith into Rhen’s chambers which sets off the whole curse business in the first place. 

However, as Rhen says later on in the book, it was his choice to keep Lillith overnight and to pursue romance, not Grey’s. 

There is guilt, blame, affection, loyalty, ownership, friendship, frustration, anger, sacrifice and more to their relationship. Their history stops them from being true friends, as do their roles as prince and guard, yet they are the only companion the other has for seasons upon seasons. 

At the end of the day, Grey is all Rhen had for a very long time and it shows. 

Their relationship was always so engrossing to read about due to its complications and its nuances. Very few YA relationships, especially that of platonic male friendship, gets even near the level of depth and grey (I couldn’t help this pun) area shown between Grey and Rhen. Their relationship alone is a huge draw for why I found this novel so captivating. 

I did wonder for a while if perhaps there were more than platonic feelings involved, but I could never quite put my finger on the true nature of their relationship or their feelings towards each other, which I find absolutely amazing. Their relationship is messy and complicated, just like real life relationships are. 

That leaves the third piece of the puzzle: Harper. 

Out of the three main characters, I like Harper the least, but I do still like her. I like that she’s strong and tenacious, not in spite of her cerebral palsy, but in addition to her already present bravery and ferocity. She’s headstrong, stubborn, kind, merciful, and compassionate. 

My dislike from Harper stems from the fact that she’s a little too perfect, especially compared to Rhen and Grey, who I found to be much more convoluted characters. 

Again, harping (hahah) back to stereotypical YA, other than her cerebral palsy, I don’t think there’s anything in particular about Harper that makes her complicated, flawed, or especially interesting. 

She’s a good girl willing to give it all up for a country she’s only known for a few weeks even though her mother’s dying at home and her brother is most likely involved in some kind of gang violence. 

The best scenes with Harper are the scenes were she is struggling to choose between the two worlds and weighing her options, as at some points it does depict her as selfish and wanting to go home, even though she knows it would doom thousands of people. 

But of course, this is all taken care of later when she realizes D.C. isn’t her true home any more and that Emberfall has become where her heart lies. 

Lame. 

Kemmerer made Harper just a little too pristine for my liking, which is why she ranks lower than both Rhen and Grey when on paper she is by far the best in terms of personality and character traits. 

This especially grates on me when Kemmerer tells us that Harper is fantastic instead of letting us glean that for ourselves. I really dislike when an author tells me instead of shows me that someone is brave or kind or amazing or whatnot and I feel like there were enough instances of Harper being all of those things without having needed Rhen or Grey to point it out all of the time. 

I also do feel like there is some weird shaming regarding things typically seen as “feminine” in relation to Harper and why that makes her “better.” For example, Rhen talks often about how no girl ever has ever done what Harper has done, like attacking him. 

I’m sorry? You’re telling me that Grey has kidnapped hundreds of girls and not one of them before Harper tried to attack them? In any form? Really? 

I find that preposterous. 

Other instances of Harper being unique in this fashion is also sprinkled in, like how most girls apparently only care about the dresses and the jewels in the castle, but not Harper. Or how most girls would be crying from a scar on their cheek, but Harper is just upset that she misses her target.

 I get what Kemmerer is going for, but these force-fed characterizations really bothered me and were the most irritating thing about the book. 

Being feminine or caring about stereotypically feminine things like jewelry or dresses does not mean that someone can’t also be strong and brave and fierce. I dislike a lot of the subliminal messages in the novel in regards to that. 

In terms of romance, again I have to ask myself when the trope of the love triangle will die. Perhaps it never will. Perhaps it will live on for eternity, forever immortal and present in nearly 90% of YA literature. 

The love triangle between Grey, Rhen, and Harper doesn’t bother me so much in this novel as I feel like it isn’t truly focused on very much, which I appreciate. I understand that Harper has feelings for both Grey and Rhen, but her feelings make sense. I don’t feel like Kemmerer is just foisting a love triangle onto the readers for the sake of having a love triangle. 

It felt somehow...natural. 

In addition, most love triangles suck as they’re very one sided, usually in terms of the female’s POV. 

In this case however, the love triangle is influenced by Grey and Rhen’s relationship, where the lines are very blurry and for a good portion of the book I thought perhaps they were in love with each other and Harper. 

Frankly, I would have been ecstatic if this was the route Kemmerer had taken. Not many YA authors go down this route, but examples like Mark/Cristina/Keiran from The Infernal Devices and Niall/Irial/Leslie from Ink Exchange are actually the only examples I know from YA literature so this would have been so welcome and anticipated. 

If Kemmerer had gone down the route of looking into a polyamorous relationship I would have been over the moon. I don’t think she is sadly, but polyamrous relationships are still so few and far between in YA that it would have been utterly captivating, especially as she has all the ingredients to do so. 

Or, I thought she did. 

Until it’s revealed at the very end that Rhen and Grey are brothers. Or, at least half-brothers. 

Yeah. 

It’s super unfortunate. 

I’m genuinely disappointed that this is the route Kemmerer decided to take it as it seems so grossly safe. It’s almost like an intense male/male relationship can’t exist unless it’s romantic or they’re brothers and I despise that. 

Hence, why I have also decided that I won’t be reading A Heart so Fierce and Broken. I want to keep the memory and the interesting relationships between the three characters as it is: interesting.

 I have a very strong feeling that if I read the sequel that will all be shattered. 

When all is said and done, I really enjoyed this book. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to reading it and I wasn’t expecting very much, but it met all of my expectations and more. 

I am sad that I won’t be finishing the series as a whole, but I know that the direction it's going will only make me frustrated and annoyed and I would rather preserve the positive emotions attached to A Curse So Dark and Lonely than ruin it with a sequel that I know won’t meet the expectations I have. 

Perhaps that’s unfair to say, and rightly so, but I know myself and I can see where the sequel is going and I’m almost certain that I won’t like it. 

So in this case, I’m going to quit while I’m ahead and savor the moments I had reading this novel in all its fairy-telling glory. 

Recommendation: If you love Beauty and the Beast, fairytales with a modern twist, interesting characters and interesting relationships set in a fantasy world where the music never stops playing and a savage beast runs rampant, than this book is calling for you.

 I didn’t know that I needed this novel in my life and now I’m so glad that it is. Captivating from beginning to end, if you’re anything like me and a sucker for interesting romance and strong, nuanced characters you won’t be able to put this down either. 

Score: 7/10 

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Hi! As someone who’s literary opinion I really trust, I was surprised that you’re a twilight fan? I know almost nothing except commen knowledge things about that series, and I always assumed it was actually bad/un-feminist. What is it that you like so much that others seem to miss? I’m just genuinely curious about your take on the hate it always seems to get vs. it’s actual quality. I’m not gonna judge bc animorphs is also one of those books where you see it and assume it’s bad.

In over 14 years of loving this series, I’m not sure anyone has ever asked me why I enjoy it instead of simply trying to convince me that I’m wrong to do so.  So thank you for that.

First and foremost, I love the Twilight saga because of the vivid detail in Stephenie Meyer’s writing style.  The descriptions are so lush and dense with sensory information that you can practically bite down on them as you read.  Bella and Jacob aren’t just sitting on the beach; they’re sitting on a gnarled log of driftwood, worn smooth at the top from where so many Quileute teens have sat upon it during bonfires but still uneven enough to rock on its branches when Bella suddenly stands to rage at her own mortality.  Meyer describes that log in Twilight, so tangibly and with such economy of detail, that we recognize it immediately when Bella and Jacob return to that spot in Eclipse.  I’ve always disliked the movies, because I’ve always felt that the best part of Meyer’s writing simply did not translate well to the screen.

Secondly, I love the feminism.

Okay, let’s take a quick pause to let everyone gasp and clutch their pearls over me calling Twilight a feminist work.  I will address the criticisms later.  For now, please just hear me out.

Twilight strikes me as a premier example of what Hélène Cixous means when she calls for “women’s writing,” or writing for women, about women, by women, with a strong focus on the concerns and strengths and desires of womanhood.  This is a series about building and maintaining close relationships, both romantic and platonic.  It celebrates beauty, and love, and care.  Bella moves to Forks because she recognizes that her dad is lonely while her mom is quite the opposite, torn between family priorities.  She doesn’t simply subsume her interests to those of other people, but instead actively chooses how and when and where to express her love for her birth family and her found families.  Most of the other major decisions throughout the story — Alice “adopting” Bella, Carlisle moving the family to Alaska, Jacob becoming werewolf beta, the Cullens going up against the Volturi, etc. — are motivated by care and devotion for one’s family and friends.  Even the selfish or morally ambiguous character choices are shown to be motivated by love.  Rosalie tells Edward that Bella died because she genuinely thinks it’ll help him move on.  Victoria creates an army that nearly destroys Forks because she’s avenging James.  Alice abandons Bella and the others before the final battle because if she can’t save her entire family, then she’ll settle for saving her lover before letting him die in vain.

Not only is there a striking concern with love and care, but there’s also a strong commitment to avoiding violence.  Bella’s eventual vamp-superpower proves to be preventing violence and protecting others, an awesome character decision that I’d argue gets set up as early as the first book.  She lives in a violent world — this is a YA SF story, after all — but she has the power to suppress violence and create peace, both in herself and others.  I was already sick of “power = ability to inflict damage” in YA stories well before I knew the word “patriarchy.”  Twilight was one of the first books to convey to me that power could be refusing to do harm in spite of hunger or anger, that power could be shielding ones’ family, that power could be about building enough friendships and alliances to have an army at one’s back when facing an enemy too strong to take on alone.

Closely connected to all of that love and care, I love how much Twilight is about navigating teenage girlhood.  Is it empowering, intersectional, or all-inclusive?  Hell no.  Does it still dare to suggest that a completely ordinary teenage girl could have valid concerns about the world?  Yep.  The main conflict of the story, as Stephen King so derisively explained, is about the romantic entanglements of a teenage girl, and the book therefore has no literary merit.  (To quote my dad’s response: “Bold words from the guy who inflicted Firestarter on the world.”)

There is, indeed, a lot of romance in Twilight.  There are a lot of clothes.  Alice and Rosalie especially spend a lot of time on makeup, and hair, and choosing the prettiest cars and houses.  Twilight embraces all the stereotypically “girly” concerns of adolescence, and makes no effort to apologize for or condemn them.  Bella isn’t particularly good at performing them — she likes but doesn’t excel at shopping, fiercely defends her ugly car as ugly, hobbles through prom on crutches — but she can still enjoy the feeling of being pretty in a sparkly dress while dancing with her sparkly boyfriend.  And Twilight, like Animorphs with Cassie, takes the daring step of treating that feeling as valid.

Speaking of sparkles, I love the commitment to the fantasy concept in Twilight, including the myriad mundanities that Meyer brings with that commitment.  If you have super-speed, why not use it to play extreme baseball?  If you’re a mindreader with a clairvoyant sister, why wouldn’t you two play mental chess games?  I couldn’t tell you, after seven seasons of Buffy or eight of Vampire Diaries, what Spike or Damien or Angel or Stefan does all day when not brooding or lurking in the bushes to creep on human women.  I can tell you what the Cullens get up to.  Emmett and Rosalie work on their cars, usually by holding them overhead one-handed.  Carlisle and Alice read plays, and sometimes talk the whole family into home Shakespeare productions.  Edward and Carlisle debate theology, Emmett and Jasper have dumb athletic competitions, Edward and Esme play music, Alice manipulates stock markets, the twins go shopping online, etcetera.  The Cullens feel real, feel like the vampires next door, in a way that Louis and Lestat simply do not.

To get to the elephant in the room — I just described Twilight as a feminist text! — let’s talk about the other thing the Cullens do for fun: they have sex.  Weird sex.  Kinky furniture-breaking sex.  Sex that Emmett (who would know) compares to bear-wrestling.  These books suck with regards to queer representation, but they are sex-positive.  They feature an old-school Anglican protagonist offering his daughter-in-law a medical abortion.  They treat Edward’s desire for sex only within marriage and Alice’s desire for sex outside of marriage as both being valid.  Like I said, not groundbreaking, even by the standards of 2005, but still more than most teen novels do even today.

There’s a passage from Breaking Dawn that people love to pull out of context as “everything wrong with Twilight in two paragraphs” because it describes Bella waking up the morning after sex with bruises on her arms.  That moment is shocking out of context, to be sure — but in context, it’s the end result of an in-depth consent negotiation that lasts four books.  Bella says that she’d like to become a vampire.  Edward says okay, but only if she spends a few more years living as a human and considering that choice.  Bella says okay, but only if Edward, not Carlisle, becomes the one to turn her.  Edward says they can use his venom, but that Carlisle, who’s an MD, really needs to supervise the process.  Bella doesn’t love the idea of Edward’s stepdad cockblocking what’s supposed to be an intimate moment, and so agrees only on the grounds that she gets to have sex with Edward as a human first.  Edward’s hella Catholic, so he requests that they get married first.  Bella’s super horny, so she demands that the wedding happen within six months.  Edward says that he might hurt her during sex, and Bella says that she wants a little hurt during sex.  They marry.  They bang.  During the banging, Edward makes every effort to be controlled and courteous and gentile, while Bella goes wild and crazy.  The next morning, she has bruises and he does not.  Edward apologizes, but Bella’s actually really into it.  She spends a while admiring her sexy vamp-marked self in the mirror, touches the bruises many times, and reminds us yet again that Bella Swan’s whole M.O. is being a monsterfucker.  Her kink is not my kink, and that’s okay.

To be clear, I think there are other aspects of the romance that get criticized for good reason.  Edward does not negotiate with Bella before sneaking into her room to watch her sleep, and he does make unacceptable use of their power differences when he thinks she’s in danger of being mauled by werewolves.  The text condemns Jacob’s “don’t wanna die a virgin” ploy to manipulate a kiss out of Bella, but not the wider conceit of all the male characters as possessing uncontrollable urges.  Bella’s struggles to adjust to a new town feel very feminine and realistic; her amused tolerance of Jacob’s and Mike’s sexual harassment as the price for their friendship does not.  Werewolf imprinting might be mostly platonic, but that doesn’t make it okay for Meyer to depict it as a form of soulmate bonding that happens with child characters. Those are good points, all around.  I just wish that most of them didn’t come up in the context of post-hoc rationalizations for loathing the femininity of a feminine text.

I’m not calling Twilight an unproblematic series.  I’m saying that it gets (rightly!) criticized for appropriating Quileute culture, while Buffy’s total absence of main characters of color and blatant anti-Romani racism are (wrongly!) not remarked upon. I'm saying that I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for liking Twilight but not for liking James Bond.  I’m saying that there’s a reason people tend to go “oh, that makes so much sense!” when I let them in on the fact that reactive hatred for “Twitards” started and spread on 4Chan, later home of Gamergate and incel culture.  I’m saying that Twilight depicts problematic relationship dynamics as sexy — but then so do Vampire Academy, Blue Bloods, Supernatural, Vladimir Tod, and Vampire Diaries.  All of which take the time to stop and thumb their noses at Twilight, smug in the superiority of having vampires that fly rather than vampires that sparkle, and for thoroughly condemning teenage girls for being girly while continuing to show men inflicting violence on them.

After all, as Erin May Kelly puts it: “we live in a world taught to hate everything to do with little girls.  We hate the books they read and the bands they like.  Is there anything the world makes fun of more than One Direction and Twilight?”  No one has ever called me a misogynist for liking the MCU, in spite of less than a third of its movies even managing to clear the low-low bar of the Bechdel test.  Because people are still allowed to like Harry Potter in spite of its racism, or Lord of the Rings despite its imperialism.  Because hatred for Twilight was never about its very real sexism, or the genuinely silly sparkle-vampires, until it had to justify itself as something other than hate for everything that teenage girls have ever dared openly love.

I enjoy the novels, and I enjoy the fan fiction that tries to fix some of the problems with the novels.  I appreciate the extent to which Meyer has elevated fan culture, and made an effort to acknowledge her own past mistakes.  I would love to be able to talk about my love for the series as a flawed but beautiful work of literature, but for now I’ll settle for asking that the world just let me enjoy it in peace.

[onebizarrekai]

random your turn to die rambling (contains spoilers for chapter 2)

so chapter 2 part 2? the main game? yeah, man. yeah.

you bet your ass that I was going to keep sou alive, and not just because he’s pretty and because he’s my favorite character.

the reasoning that they gave in the game for sara personally making the decision didn’t quite line up with the motivations that they laid out in front of you. it was a little weird, but y’know, it happens.

“sorry, kanna. I’m choosing logic.” I think it was implied that sara kept sou alive and voted for kanna because sou was going to be more useful. my motivations on the other hand? much, much, different, and I sort of felt like they were a given until the game suggested otherwise.

yes, sou has done a lot of really dumb shit over the course of the game. he’s manipulative and cunning, he’s a bigass liar, and he takes advantage of people repeatedly, but all of this was pretty much clarified to be because of how terrified he is. he does really stupid stuff when he gets emotional. he provokes people and tries to get what he wants, but that’s because he is literally fighting for a life that he believes he will lose no matter what he does.

like, that zero percent of survival thing? dude. he literally actively decided to change his entire self because the person that he was was not a person that was ‘qualified’ to survive. he was illustrated to have demons. it’s not like other characters who cause problems on purpose and you have like no idea what they’re doing. we actually got to see into sou’s head for a bit and see at least part of his true self.

so, you can reasonably infer that when I found out that he had a zero percent chance of survival, I absolutely made it my business to keep sou alive and to prove everyone wrong, especially after kanna said that she was willing to give up her life to save the others, asking everyone to try to believe in sou and that he can be a good person.

like, dude. voting for sou at that point would be the opposite of progression. you’re given the choice to either believe in kanna and sou, or to not believe in either of them and to kill sou in her place. even if sou wanted to die in her place, saying things like “you know who you should vote for”, naturally keeping him alive is going to make some implication that I’m taking what kanna said seriously, and that I as a player believe that sou is not only redeemable, but that I think that the whole zero percent thing is a load of bullshit.

in any case, I sort of feel like this stuff should have been addressed when I decided to keep sou alive, unless like, sara considers honoring kanna’s wishes as logical, but… it’s not, because the use of the word ‘logical’ in this context implies that sara believes that sou is probably going to die later due to his literal zero percent survival chance and is only keeping him alive because he has the capacity to be useful, and considering the content of the remainder of chapter 2, that doesn’t seem right at all.

like, yeah, sara isn’t a blank slate character, and she’s not going to agree with the player on everything, and honestly, I can understand why she doesn’t like sou, since he’s been out to get her for the longest time, but I feel like part of this could’ve been inspired by a desire to honor kanna’s wishes, or some sympathy towards sou’s situation with crafting himself into a new person or in the very least to not die, or maybe even pure spite towards the manufacturers of the death game, or even all three, but we know that nobody would actually keep sou alive just because he’s objectively more ‘useful’ than kanna, not after the insanity that was chapter 2 and its main game.

I dunno, maybe sara was just really stone cold about it because she was so sick of sou manipulating kanna and the things kanna said about believing in him and the things sou confessed about changing himself for survival just blew directly over her head. honestly, considering the stuff that sou has said to sara and the problems he’s tried to make for her, stressing her beyond belief… I guess you can’t really blame her.

it doesn’t really change the fact that in the end, every action that he takes is taken because he believes that he’s going to die no matter what, unless he fights as a self-absorbed person, and sara will probably be the one to get him killed. that’s kinda also why… not getting him killed in that exact moment is so satisfyingly ironic.

[systematicmasspoisoning]

Traitor Tubbo

I've seen so many excellent theories as to who the traitor is and I would like to throw my hat into the ring. I see several possible options. Depending on how this is received, this could be part one of a few. Reminder, this is all speculation. I'm analyzing a character here, not the streamer themselves, and in reality no one, especially not these teens and 20-something role players, are genuinely intending to be malicious or calculated. This is a game. But they're playing it, and my heartstrings, so damn well.

My top theory for the traitor? Tubbo.

Traitor Tubbo is definitely a fan favorite, and I'm probably a bit biased. I watch his streams most often and perhaps am overthinking things. But here's my supporting evidence: I think Tubbo has the most motivation because it's been established that Tubbo is underapprecited and underestimated. He's assumed to a yes-man, Tommy's right hand man. Schlatt specifically made him Secretary of State because he knew it would be a kick in the gut to Tommy.

But everyone also knows that shit gets done when Tubbo is on the server. This kid is dedicated. Guess thats what quarantine does to a Minecrafter. He planned the fesitval, helped streamline Pogtopia's potatoes, is an expert in redstone, is draining the ocean and making allies with the Badlands (BBH, Awesamdude, Antfrost, a few others).

Jschlatt said in his speech at the Festival that Tubbo gets things done (only to kill the kid like 10 minutes later :sadface:) and Wilbur said, later, that the planned Manberg Hotel probably won't be built now that Tubbo is (supposedly) on Pogtopia's side. I see parallels to Eret's traitor arc: he was the deus ex machina who saved them in Season 1 from being arrested for drugs, built their walls overnight and was given little credit for it. Wilbur still says to this day, "The walls I built to protect us."

Underappreciation fuels betrayal on this server. And Eret was smart. Overpowered, almost, from all his grinding (some of which he did with Tubbo, for hours on end.) He knew the revolution was 'never meant to be,' that L'Manberg was the losing side. He betrayed for power and kingship. Tubbo has different motivations - he doesn't advocate for violence, so he's said, and he just wants people to get along. He doesn't want a war. So what might he do for peace?

We all know, if we watch old SMP Earth clips and his Among Us streams that he is big brained. He's sometimes malicious and mischievous when he wants to be, as attested by his recent stair pranks. So him being the peaceful, owo baby boi side character isn't necessarily fact. It's a bit. A role, along the lines of Tubee and Big Law. He's much more.

Speaking of the stair prank, so funny, but had the potential to be cruel, too. Anyways, he clearly said that he was watching Tommy's stream, and saw Tommy die to the stairs. Then he pops on the server later and acts clueless to what went down, though he knew, mentioned in his stream earlier that day, that something important was going to happen that day. He turns up while they're discussing traitors, is quick to take control of the conversation and point out that the traitor is likely Wilbur (for being 'technically' on Dream's side, the side of chaos.) Fuel is added to the flames of confusion and infighting.

Playing dumb is one of Tubbo's most popular bits. It farms awes, as Tommy says. People underestimate him and assume he has no reason to lie. Tommy so easily believed him when Tubbo said he had the discs. In the Dream Betrayal stream, Tommy confronts Dream about the location of the discs with Tubbo in the call. The misunderstanding is cleared up. They don't question Tubbo's earlier statements. They also don't question it when Tubbo mentions he has blackmail on Dream. I have no idea what that might be, we can speculate on that all day. But when it comes to the discs, I think Tubbo lost a bargaining chip there. His lie was very thin. But we know he's good at lying (when its actually important) and thinking quick on his feet so I feel like there must be some motivation behind it. I don't know how, but I think the discs will definitely play a part in the coming war.

That same stream, with Dream's betrayal, Wilbur even foreshadowed Traitor Tubbo. He was making a list of their allies on the wall in Pogtopia and, despite his chat screaming at him to include Tubbo, he leaves the kid off the list and dismisses chat's worries. I'm being a little dramatic here, but can you imagine Tubbo coming across that? Seeing himself, once again, left out of the loop, off the list of people they can trust, possibly considered unimportant now that he's filled his role as a spy and had his arc seemingly completed? Back to being a yes man, a footnote in L'manberg's history, the sidekick to the protagonist, a foil who is killed off to fuel the protagonists' need for revenge.

Except, in Minecraft, you don't really die. You're respawned. Tubbo didn't die when he was executed on the day of the festival; a celebration he planned, was proud of, so excited to take part of that he used a dyslexic font to write his speech.

Some notes about the festival.

1. His excitement. He was looking forward to it. I say let him be excited, that's not necessarily suspicious - he worked damn hard on it.

2. But, I have thought about his difficulty choosing a side. He showed interest in blowing up L'Manberg, but then turns on a dime when Tommy says it's bad, and then comes up with a diplomatic response of "I trust your better judgment, Wilbur " There was the added element of peer pressure from Wilbur and Tommy, granted, talking over him and assuming his viewpoint. He's not always a yes man, he stands up to himself with Tommy constantly, but the scene with him on the roof with Tommy and Wilbur shows how little he is kept in the loop. (Him understanding peer pressure likely led to him forgiving Techno so easily. But I also wonder, and others have too, if he forgave Techno.... too easily.)

3. This isn't so much of a point but something that keeps the writer in me up late at night. He was very grateful when Schlatt praised him, probably something he didn't hear often under Wilbur's rule.

4. He said the phrase. In spite of him not advocating for violence, he said the phrase that would trigger an explosion. The choice was in his hands. That is assuming he got Wilbur's DM telling him what to do, but Tubbo had been told by Wilbur to check his DMs and they had been exchanging whispers frequently throughout the stream, Tubbo taking orders from Wilbur to hurry things along. On that note, why a DM? Why didn't he give Tubbo the order through a whisper thru minecraft where we could see the wording? Likely because they use their DMs to push along major plot points and discuss serious matters. This wasn't just an order from Wilbur, the character, this was an order from the streamer who has the most role playing experience and has admitted to being the puppetmaster behind a lot of Tommy and Tubbo's major actions. Tubbo, who has always tried to advocate for peace, supposedly was told a trigger phrase that would blow the place up, and he said it. It was so out of character for him, that I was surprised, and Wilbur was surprised too, from how Tubbo scrambled. So, I don't know - did Tubbo know it was a trigger phrase? What did the DM say?

There was clearly a lot of miscommunication and weird things that day so all of this is speculation. However, from Tubbo' side of the stream, you can see the deliberation when he finished the speech. The pause. The silence, like he was finished, but then Schlatt reminded him (not the real quote) "Anything else?" And then. Tubbo took the leap. To us, the uninformed audience, it seemed he was willing, in that moment, to allow the chaos.

He was given a role of power, and it backfired on him so quick after, but I would like to rewind to the moment Wilbur decided to give Tubbo a deciding role. I knew Tubbo would be playing a big part this season, cause the boy deserves it, but Wilbur putting that decision in the hands of Tubbo? Wow. *Chef's kiss* Wil's reasoning was, if Tubbo wanted to prove he wasn't a yes man, he'd make the decision NOT to pull the trigger.

But Wilbur also said that Schlatt approved of the speech and would know if Tubbo deviated, putting Tubbo at risk of being caught. He was caught anyway, obviously, but there was a moment there... where Schlatt was giving Tubbo a choice, too. To say the phrase that would prove he was a traitor. Like...Schlatt knew what was planned, and wanted to see what Tubbo would decide. Maybe it was a trigger phrase for something else, not just the bombs.

Point is. Tubbo, technically, saved the day. He was, in physical form, the button. He was the deciding factor for great destruction. He said the phrase, but instead of Manberg being blown, Schlatt moved quickly to trap Tubbo and start a bit that would STOP WILBUR IN HIS TRACKS. The button was never fully pressed. Tubbo's Traitor/Spy Arc was halted, and a diverging plot formed, one where Tubbo is exiled too, trusted again by Pogtopia, and the land isn't blown to smithereens.

As Wilbur has said time and time again, when you introduce a weapon in a story, it has to go off at some point. Traitor Tubbo has been on our minds since the day he was left behind in Manberg and given a position, (once again, might I add, as a right hand man, a loyal lackey. Never the lead.) Has that arc met its completing? Did it go off with a bang?

One possible theory is that, well, no. This has all been premeditated. Not scripted fully, but I feel as though there are strings being pulled by a master who knows how to tell a story.

When he was asked to be a spy, Tubbo's position was nearly revealed time and time again but it was Schlatt who decided he was too bored to continue walking down the tunnels. It was Schlatt who easily accepted Tubbo's blatant lie that he was pregnant and allowed for so much betrayal under his nose.

What I'm saying here is that Schlatt is, in fanfic terms, soft for Tubbo. In a less fluffy way, what I'm suggesting (which has been suggested before) is that Tubbo wasn't a double agent. He was a triple agent.

I've read a lot of fucking books, and when you're a triple agent and one side is getting suspicious of you, what's the greatest length you can go to to prove your loyalty to someone? Die for them. Organize your execution. Throw yourself on top of a bomb.

But like I said. You don't die in Minecraft.

(While I'm on the subject, does anyone find it interesting how Tubbo focused on messaging only Wilbur while Technoblade was on stage, whispering 'i thought he woulded hurt me?' and the like. Wouldn't you, if you were being executed, contact your best friend to get you out of there? Or the clearly stalling 'ally' holding a crossbow to your head? But it wasn't Tommy or Techno that Tubbo needed to convince of his innocence. Its Wilbur who was sus of him.)

I digress. Tubbo didn't die, but he execution=exile and he's living full time with Pogtopia. He's proven his loyalty. When Tubbo is asked if he's a traitor, his best friend quickly jumps to his support and says, something to the effect of, "Schlatt killed him! He couldn't be a traitor!" Suspicion is thrown off him.

He wasn't even there when Dream revealed there was a traitor. He. Played. Dumb.

Meanwhile, streaming on his own, Tubbo is seeking out tridents and OP bows, working on Redstone traps, refusing to get netherite for Tommy, going so far as to trap his friend's house under the guise of a prank, and appearing in TeamSpeak calls to listen in while Tommy was mining gold with Dream (around the time Tommy was pressuring the green bastard to reveal who the traitor is.)

Tubbo has also been building a reputation as someone with bad wifi and a constantly crashing game, so he can conveniently leave situations and not help out when he doesn't wanna. Sidebar: I have to wonder if Tubbo will even stream the day of the war. Schlatt doesn't stream, and neither did the Dream Team when they were villains. It builds up tension and the audience wonders about their motivations. Granted, Eret did stream so his betrayal was a huge surprise, but recently Tubbo has, quite often, made a point of struggling with bad wifi and a game that seems to crash when he's not the one streaming. It wouldn't be too suspicious for him to claim technical difficulties so he can slide under the radar and not have snitches and stream snipers tracing his steps. This is a stretch, but it would be Big Brained to meta game the war.

I've watched a lot of Tubbo's streams lately. It's probably not healthy, and I'm probably connecting dots that aren't there.

But here is my prediction(s) for next week.

Dream said, jokingly, the traitor is Tommy. Despite Tommy's adamance, it may just be possible. He just doesn't know about it yet. Maybe Tubbo talks Tommy into betraying Wilbur. (Wilbur, specifically, and not necessarily their cause, which is not to be exiled and have a not-blown-up L'manberg.) Tommy has said he couldn't be the traitor because he wouldn't betray Tubbo (followed by "Wilbur, too...well...he is a little crazy lately" and you can hear Tubbo in the background making noises of agreement.)

But if betraying Tubbo was no longer a worry? I think, for Tubbo, and for the discs, Tommy would negotiate new terms with Dream. Another end to the war. Another peace treaty. Let's be real, once Tommy switches sides, Pogtopia will crumble. Him and Tubbo are the linchpins.

To continue, Dream supposedly has a contract with Schlatt, and in the stream today, he was leaving banners with a big red X on different properties, like in Tommy's house. Marking territory. He made a point of doing it while Tommy was streaming, following the kid around into the nether and giving shields with the giant red X to supposedly Pogtopian allies (Awesamdude, George.)

Wilbur told Quackity in the Dream Betrayal stream that he worries that Dream's deal with Schlatt is to rescind Manberg's independence. To give power back to Dream. To get Tommy's allyship, Dream may propose instating Tommy as president. Those are Wilbur's predictions. They're not far off the mark. Or maybe I'm just as paranoid as him lol.

I think Dream is trying to manipulate Tommy, but what will the terms be? Presidency? Or Freedom?

I'm not sure that Tommy wants to be president. He likes to play around and while he's shown he can be good at coordination and leadership, (for example, the recent MCC thing where he taught Quackity how to play and they kicked ass,) Wilbur is quite right. Tommy shouldn't be president. Narratively, we all know the server would become....chaos. Okay, that might be kind of fun and he's got good ideas.. I like the kid, and he's grown so much, but he's not "mature enough." Not like Tubbo is, according to Wilbur himself (this is referencing the Stays in The Pit battle). Dream has also said, in the eboy collaboration, that the only Dream SMP player in the video whose stood a chance was Tubbo.

Tubbo has said he doesn't want to be president either, but shit gets done when Tubbo is on. Nature is preserved, giant builds are coordinated, events planned (with cute little digital invites sent to players). The few times that Tubbo has shared his opinion about drama on the server (there's a moment before the Pit that he gives a good speech) he's shown sound logic, great empathy, a willingness to compromise, to have fun and strengthen their community.

There's an old saying, that those who seek power shouldn't have it, and those who don't want the power are the ones who deserve it. If peace wants to be preserved on the SMP, maybe Tubbo should be president, and Tommy should see what it's like to be the right hand man. Or maybe, they will simply run off to a distant jungle base and leave the war to the adults.

My point is, Tubbo is Chekov's gun. Tubbo is the button that hasn't been pushed yet. He may be the deciding factor to change the tide of the war, by changing Tommy's loyalties. Tubbo might not be fully loyal to Schlatt, I could be totally off about the triple agent thing, but he's certainly not loyal to Wilbur. To Dream? We'll have to see. From what we've been shown so far, his loyalty is to himself and to Tommy, and in the end, its usually him and Tommy against the world.

If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. It's fun to speculate. He's just a kid, a smart one granted, and he's having fun; he isn't evil. Unless Evil Tubbo is the next huge arc, the villain of Season 3???? God I would love that. Go feral kiddo.

There are other streamers who are equally over looked and unappreciated and have just as much motivation to be the traitor. Niki is a strong contender, have ya'll heard about the letter she wrote to a mysterious 'friend?' Or, or, what if Philza gets whitelisted? What if there's no shocking traitor at all, just Dream trying to cause division in Pogtopia? What if it's us, the viewers, who were the traitors all along for being dirty snitches? (@rainbowtransform, great theory.)

I'm sure I'll be surprised no matter what the outcome is. But nothing would please me more than to see Tubbo get the spotlight he deserves.

Let me know your thoughts?

[baconpal]

talkin bout fuckig manga

hey it’s me, haven’t had internet for over a week and i’ve been sick and uni and blah blah blah time for a rant about manga

this time its about  "Soredemo Machi wa Mawatteiru", tl;dr, good manga read it idk

lots of bullshit below the cut

Before anything I say gets too confusing or I go off on an insane tangent, just know my recommendation is that you read "Soredemo Machi wa Mawatteiru". It's not very easy to find online since it has an official English release (which my recommendation extends far enough to suggest I might pick up in the future, just to have it, but I am very stingy), but there's an alright torrent of all the volumes on your local anime torrenting website, and is at the very least worth the trouble of reading as such. There is also an anime that gets better as it goes, but the manga is my primary recommendation. Beyond this point I'm not gonna give much regard to what I write, so get ready for anything, read the manga and see if you agree with me, or don't and see if I care:

BOUT THE ANIME: The SoreMachi anime is one of those rare comedy anime you find where the animation and overall production is just really extra the entire time. Hopefully you know what I mean because I won't really be able to explain it any other way, it's simply one of those shows where the jokes are decent and it's a fun time for the most part. Unfortunately, the anime makes a couple of critical missteps that kept me from getting far into it when I first tried watching it about a year ago, and in retrospect seem even less reasonable.

Starting with the good, as an adaptation it does a good job with most chapters it covers, it properly sources where each chapter comes from incase you intend to read the manga and skip around to catch up, and the anime adapts some sections to have additional jokes that fit very naturally in to the story. It also covers up some of those problems only manga can have like having a concert segment without any actual music involved, until they invent mp3-paper it's just something we'll have to live with. Translation work was pretty good (I watched the [WhyNot] release for those who care), which is extra important for something as difficult to translate as jokes from another language. The set of episodes they chose to end on was very good, and was expanded to be a lot more impactful in the anime. If it wasn't for the last episode being as strong as it was I may have given up on finding the manga when I saw it wasn't super easy to read online.

As for what the anime fails in, some episodes feature some really blatant over-acting that doesn't really help make characters believable, and there's this obnoxious gag that continues the whole where through where most scenes have a few seconds long line from what is essentially a forced mascot character, which usually mean nothing and only serve to harm the pacing of many episodes (there isn't even any sort of equivalent bit in the manga so I really don't know why they did it, most of the anime original jokes are pretty good so I just really don't get it). The biggest issue the anime faces is that the source material is about 140 chapters, while the anime is only able to cover 24 chapters. This comes with a LOT of problems, the first being what I'd call the "required reading". SoreMachi is not a 1-note simple comedy where you can skip to any chapter and be completely okay; There are many small but meaningful subplots lying beneath, and characters have a fair bit of development throughout. What this means for the anime is that the first 3-4 episodes are just the first few chapters of the manga, which are a bit rough and not as good as the majority of the work, which is true of a lot of comics (god fuck I promise there will be more than a first chapter of my comic I promise it'll get better fuck). In terms of the anime by itself, I'd say episode 1 is decent, 2 is middling, and by 3/4 their still taking a while to introduce members of the cast, and I didn't immediately want to finish it. I put the show down for a long time until my internet started dying and I wanted to watch something fun. Slapping it back on at episode 5 I immediately had a great time and watched the rest of the show pretty soon after. While I understand the reasoning behind doing this, the anime does not pay off this structure, as beyond the first few episodes, the chapters start being presented out of release order and out of chronological order, kind of destroying any consistent throughline. This decision in and of itself isn't the worst, since the comic isn't always chronological, and the volume ordering is a bit different from the release ordering, but the inconsistency makes the first few episodes feel lessened without reason. The other large failure that comes with only animating about 1/7th of the entire work is that many themes and concepts that are core to the manga are not represented in the anime well at all. One of the biggest is the rare but unnerving supernatural chapters, of which only one is animated, and not a particularly good one. In order to talk about these themes I'll have to transition into talking about the manga itself, since they aren't part of the anime.

DA MANGA: So one last recommendation that you read the manga, the whole damn thing. Cus we're gettin into themes and character moments that take a long time to pay off, and obviously is all part of my interpretations, so if that stuff means anything to you don't let me ruin it for ya.

The title of the manga is, in essence, the entire manga's "punchline" in that every chapter could meaningfully end with simply the text "And yet the town still turns..." (My translation of the title, fuck "And yet, the town revolves" or "But the town moves"); by this I mean most chapters end in an anti-climax where a mystery is left unsolved, or a mystery is solved and undercut by the realization that life simply keeps on going without much change. This is used to essentially force your eyes open to all possibilities when reading, as the main character spends her time acting like a detective, and these mysteries end up as either misunderstandings, secrets, riddles, and sometimes something out of the ordinary happens that makes you unable to pin anything down firmly. Similarly, these endings aren't always read-and-forget scenarios. Several chapters come back in the form of a continued joke, a continued mystery, or contribute to some greater purpose later. Readers are properly rewarded for keeping everything they can in mind, while also tormenting such people with loose ends.

I enjoy Hotori as a protagonist due to her character being defined not in flaws and strengths, but in mindedness. Hotori seems like a simple "haha she's dumb" character to start, but consistently throughout she proves that her strengths are in memory, observation, and deduction, while lacking in some more common sense and abilities. Her brain works in strange ways that some people may or may not understand, such as her need to think through even the most trivial fictional scenarios, which I relate to deeply.

The art and paneling throughout are wonderful. Ishiguro Masakazu is one of those artists who draws very simple characters, but knows how to use details and depth to breath so much life into the artwork. He also clearly uses the occasional supernatural happenings as an excuse to draw what he loved, as all sorts of artistic depictions of the supernatural come out that simply look satisfying. These parts obviously meant a lot to him since he's been working on a primarily mystery-action manga that has a lot more of that stuff in it. (Also, as hindsight is 20/20, if you've read any of his new work you'll notice that the main character of it is eerily similar to a character who shows up very late in SoreMachi that the author obviously fell in love with, cus she just keeps coming back and even ends up with a really unsettling end to her character arc despite only being introduced as a component in a harmless mystery. Feel free to call me out for the same shit 30 years from now when I'll probably do the same shit)

I'd like to get into some of the major themes of this work, as a lot of them hit very close to my mind (which I guess is true of any theme you recognize for yourself, you wouldn't really "get it" if it didn't mean something to you...).

The simplest theme, again, comes from the title. The main character, Hotori, expresses a desire that the town she lives in continues going on, unchanged forever. This is obviously a fear of change, which ya know, same, but also an exploration of what it means to fear change. Hotori actively tries to keep businesses from closing down, keep friends from leaving, and keep relationships from changing, while simultaneously making all sorts of new relationships and solving mysteries. Hotori even comes to realize that simply learning the truth about something changes the world through your own perspective, and that such changes can't be undone. In spite of this, Hotori mostly gets her wish, any time she fears that a large change will impact the town, its resolved about the same as any other issue. Whether its a message that even time can't keep you from your loved ones and that change isn't worth fearing, or a concession that large changes to the setting would be a bad idea in terms of humor, I can't really decide. This theme reaches it's conclusion in what is one in a series of "ending" kinda chapters at the end of the series. Hotori is faced with a supernatural ethical situation, save her town from destruction at the cost of her existence, or live through the disaster, knowing her town and the people in it will forever be changed. While the actual result is that nobody disappears and nothing is lost, and the event may have simply been a strange dream, Hotori confidently decides that sparing the people in her town from a life altering event is worth giving up her memories with them. A kind of bold spit-in-the-face to the idea that change is okay, where we find that Hotori didn't fear change for herself, but rather for the people around her.

There's another major idea in this manga, which takes a very long time to pay off, and completes its arc at the very very very actual end of the series, the idea of "leading someone to be something". A character that rides that line between main and side character, Shizuka, is a writer of detective novels, who feels the best person to judge her works would be a version of herself without the bias of being the author. She tries to achieve this by leading Hotori to be interested in detective works (including her own) and generally be just like her, starting from a young age. The end result is a young girl dead set on being a detective herself (or at least another novelist), while Shizuka keeps her identity as an author secret. She then uses Hotori as a scapegoat for herself, attempting to see how she would solve various mysteries and use that as inspiration, and this is depicted as though Shizuka were some sort of villain, which she may feel like she is. The end result of it all, though, is that Hotori was likely already a detective-minded person, and that even if Shizuka pushed her down that path, it was Hotori's decision to continue down it, and the very end of the manga is a scene revealing that Hotori figured out Shizuka's secret at some point, and even still respected Shizuka and aspired to reach her, and the two accept each other for who they are. I enjoy this ending a lot, since as an artist I've worried that some of my love or aspirations for and from other artists came with an ulterior motive of wanting a better community for art to exist in, but people are people and will make their own decisions, and some day everyone may be able to become equals in a truly meaningful sense, where everyone is inspired by and guiding each other together.

So that probably didn't mean shit to nobody and I didn't even really talk about anything in the comic like most of the main characters or any of the shit goin on but ya know fuck you go read it, and thanks for reading this.

[schiste-argileux]

That Pharma hates what he’s become

I think that Pharma had a decent amount of compassion and a proper (not relatively high) level of righteousness prior to the war. He is definitely talented and skilled, considering he is a doctor (medical school is a test of wits, patience, and learning to manage with stress and high stakes esp. if its surgical tasks).  Being in Delphi was a punch in the face, I think. If I were to be in Pharma’s position, a talented health professional who contributed and provided assistance and care to many lives, very used to living a comfortable life with many conveniences, suddenly thrown into the wilderness with little supplies yet expected to bring huge yields, I would be hella pissed. Yes, Pharma’s definitely able to make do with what he’s given (as we see in the comics lmao), but that kind of pressure is not fair and does him an injustice (he sucked up for like 5 years omg, and there’s ppl irl who cry at every little inconvenience smh).

Building up your career for centuries to be thrown out into some dirty ol’ clinic? Yeah, for the greater good! No recognition? Feeling bad? lmao, everyone’s in this together and suffering! What makes you special? 

Everyone, every. individual. is capable of evil, especially under pressure. many, many times, people cannot overlook or have a will to NOT act on it. Everything that’s born in this world does things for their own benefit, it’s a natural instinct. It’s not wrong to be selfish (its great if you aren’t! but hey, not everyone can)! It is wrong however, to be selfish and hurt someone else’s wellbeing to sate your needs! Pharma does that horrifically. He steps over those bounds. Probably out of anger, spite, because his expectations and values are failing. 

And then he slips down the slope of anger and frustration, thinking about Ratchet how he probably has it easier (no, he doesn’t but the grass is always greener on the other side), how everything SO unfair for him (listen, pharma, you ain’t special. but you are an individual, so its valid you feel these feelings). 

Then there’s this bitter conflict in himself, Oh, i’m a bad person for being like this! I’m supposed to be a professional, never losing my cool, doing my job! No, I am a professional, so we should be getting the proper resources to run a clinic! This literally fails all the health guidelines! This is a mess! How can I fix it? Why is it my job to fix it?

It was like what 5 years? jesus christ, that sounds like suffering. Sure Transformers can live for hundreds of thousands of years, but that sounds like hell. 5 years can be full of traumatizing events (haha fort maxy).

Conflicted, wanting to blame himself and point fingers, yet no one to point because he’s prideful and doesn’t want to be shallow, wanting to take things into his own hands. Also Pharma is a sad man can’t communicate his frustration (maybe can’t trust anyone, how sad), which also makes it worst. Communication is important friends!!!

And then blinded by these things, he fails and doesn’t want to see the bigger picture. And then Pharma does the ploy. I don’t think Pharma had that big a problem with Tarn (he did have problems but not like, the main source of anger), but the big fish was Autobot High Command (fuck u prowl, you saw possible evil and cunning in Pharma, who wasn’t acting on in and probably didn’t know he had evil in him, and you let it explode. You know no one else would be able to deal with Delphi because they don’t have the cunning, or they’re too stubbornly righteous). 

Get rid of Tarn? Someone’s just going to replace him, and possibly make the situation worse because WOW how did the DJD get wiped out?? Then Delphi gets stormed and he can’t get off this hellhole. Medic creates a BIO WEAPON. WOW! Prowl might be so amazed, he throws Pharma into another shitty situation to squeeze diamonds out of his ass. Pharma let the disease go off in the hospital because his goal is to selfishly shut down Delphi so he can get the fuck out while giving Prowl a good fuck you because he’s already a murderer for euthanizing struggling patients, so fuck this world. (In Which Pharma Becomes A School Shooter) I’m not talking about Chainsaw!Pharma after he gets saved by Tryest, because he’s so far gone,,, what even is he now. Bye.  I think pushing past the memes and jokes, Pharma represents A LOT of people IRL. Someone sick of the hypocrisy of the ones up the chain of command, hates themselves not being smart enough to get out easily, trying to point fingers but realizing they won’t change so what’s the point, and then just doing whatever he wants regardless of his morals because he snapped. I do not justify his actions, and I think his choice of making a disease (wow that’s big brained man) is a pretty bad choice out of all his choices (who are you to take other people’s lives? smh it is war but that doesn’t excuse ur sins). But Pharma is an excellent lesson to LEARN from his MISTAKES.  like the proverb says, A dumb man never learns from his mistakes, an average man learns from his own, and a smart man learns from other’s mistakes and his own. pharma exists so we can not be a clown like him and learn to communicate, express our frustrations, not blow up and control our feelings, understand ourselves and try to have a positive perspective even in the lowest times, and make good decisions!! anyways thanks for coming to my ted talking about pharma’s shittiness, you are welcome to agree or disagree! This was a short clip of my perspective on pharma as a character ^_^ i do not condone his actions. He’s not a good person and he should not be a role model...  basically he reminds me of Crime and Punishment character Raskolnikov! A conflicted dumbass who thinks he is so talented but deserves better and makes really poor decisions. excellent piece of english literature i read, very very good!