#he is autistic cause I say so the end :)

[gxlden-angels]

Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn

Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished

And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue

[andragoras-in-vanity]

remember being a teen and watching shit like soul eater and kimono jihen and thinking god damn i wish I had a perpetually exhausted but badass mentor to help me get through things?

well now im 27 and im the perpetually exhausted mentor with bedhead and a slight alcohol problem to my 15 year old cousin and im gonna tear my hair out about not being able to just let her stay for a bit because i know it doesnt matter fuck all what i say to her dad, shes still gonna be treated like shit just because shes a moody teen with undiagnosed add and an autustic brother who constantly talks over everyone. i suddenly need a cigarette.

[bastardlybonkers]

i feel like not enough ppl are factoring in the cultural clash between laios and shuro and the many micro agressions shuro faced while being in their group. literally the name 'shuro' in itself is one

his name is toshiro 😭 lets also not forget that he has his own communication issues, in the opposite way that laios does- thats literally a factor in their argument, that his envy for laios's ability to express himself sincerely manifested as part of his distaste for him.

ig all this to say like, was their fight heart wrenching, especially when reading laios as autistic? absolutely. anybody whos ever been in laios's position knows how much it hurts to realize someone you thought was your friend doesnt actually like having you around, especially when they didnt tell you and you had no way of knowing due to not understanding their cues. but im begging yall to step back and see the nuance of this situation cause im gonna be real a lot of you are kinda just brushing over it acting like everything is toshiros fault and that hes a terrible person when in reality hes an average guy who really, really clashed with laios and it led to a very long misunderstanding due to their supremely opposite methods of communication. even laios and toshiro, after letting everything out in their fight, were able to come to an understanding and start a foundation for an actual friendship built on better communication

ok yknow what Edit: i shouldve made it even more explicit at the end of this post, i hadnt thought i would need to since i started the post with this, but i think a few too many people are missing my point so i just wanna clarify. i shouldnt have said 'really clashed' and left it at that because yeah they did, but it wasnt just their opposite methods of communication, it is also very much that toshiro was experiencing microaggressions via laios. it may have been unintentional on laios's part, but it still happened and wore him down, made it harder for him to communicate on top of both the more subtle social cues that he was raised with and his own communication difficulties. i also want to say that the fandom reaction to toshiro and the complete ignorance of this point is also racist tbh or at the very least ignorant. i understand that the anime did not cover this panel, and neither did the manga, as this was an omake, but im gonna be real with you guys. there are enough context clues within the story to clue you into this. if you didnt pick up on it thats ok, but i think this is a good lesson in picking up subtext in the stories that youre watching and/or reading. kui shouldnt have to explicitly say 'by the way laios was racist to toshiro' for this point to be understood, and at the very least, when the author portrays a character in a sympathetic light (as kui clearly does) it should make you question Why they are doing so and what makes them sympathetic, rather than youre immediate and only reaction to be 'well i hated what this guy did/said so i hate them and they suck'. idk exactly how to finish this, just. idk. question your biases and gut reactions to things you see in media and stories, and think about whether or not theres subtext that youre missing.

[captaindibbzy]

Something I find funny about this week's episode of Dungeon Meshi is this is why Autism is a disability.

Laois is trying to help. He is really trying to help, and it does end up helping! But there is that initial moment of disconnect between Laois and his party.

Laois deals with trauma by eating it, and he encourages others to do the same. He really wants to eat living armour cause it was his first death. He is so excited to share the mimick with Chillchuck. Marcel's first death was slime, but also she reacts badly to bugs and he's ready to help her catch the undine even if it's out of his strength league. It is part of his processing of things.

He also says he doesn't understand the feelings argument. Why is a cow ok to eat but a merman (fish edition) isn't? Because it doesn't "feel" right? What does that even mean!

So he sees Senshi is upset. He sees a solution to that upset. Getting more knowledge is a comfort to him. The unknown is worse than the known. The fastest point from A to B is a straight line.

So let's eat the griffin.

Of course the rest of the party have better emotional understanding and they know this is, even if well intentioned, presented callously and carelessly.

This is why Shuro "hates" Laois, cause this is what he does. This is how he acts. And it's not always cute. He never means it to be cruel, but he literally can't tell. His whole intention is to help.

It works out here. But it can be Very Difficult for people when we autistics do this. Chil and Marcel are right to be angry with him even if he can't help it. It is what it is.

[arolesbianism]

I still find it so funny remembering first being bought dst after years of not being up to date on new stuff and just seeing the character selection and being like who the Fuck are these ppl and then immediately falling in love with Walter after my sibling picked him in our first world and hearing his voice for the first time

[vadlings]

Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

[sanguinaryrot]

shout out to Joey I know u will never see this but I’m glad ur my big brother and I like it when we watch movies together sometimes and it makes me happy when me and mom pick you up from the train station and I get to spend some time with you and when I see a good older brother character in books and tv it makes me think of u and I think ur sunglasses are cool

[signanothername]

Can we have a more in depth look into how you think Dream and Nightmare experience autism and how it affects them?

YESSSSS LETS GOOOOO!!!!

Ok before we start this ramble, I’d like to emphasize how important the time period Dream and Nightmare grew up in, it was a time period in which anything mental health related was immediately connected with “demons” and “possession”

I like to say that the twins are masked Autistics a lot, but in truth, I like to think they both started off without masking their Autism at all, they never saw anything wrong with the way they behaved (cause there indeed wasn’t anything wrong), they were comfortable with who they were and how they behaved, it was their normal in a world that saw it as abnormal, but it was when the villagers started getting in the picture that problems started

Nightmare experiences his Autism through his special interest in learning new things and reading books, hyper empathy, isolation, avoiding eye contact, semi-repulsion to touch if he wasn’t the one to initiate it, understimulation, extreme difficulty in understanding his own emotions (and by extension, difficulty in expressing them), generally being blunt, brutally honest and direct, and selective mutism, Nightmare mostly stims by repeating certain sounds or phrases and humming

Dream experiences his Autism through his special interest in nature (especially flowers), precious stones as well as sewing, difficulty understanding social cues, selective mutism, extreme sensitivity to bright lights (he has a love/hate relationship with the sun) and loud noises, overstimulation, low empathy, and learning difficulties especially when it comes to language, Dream tends to stim by flapping his hands or stomping his feet

Both the twins perfer to follow a routine, however, Nightmare tends to plan his days carefully, and finds any change in his routine extremely distressing to the point it can cause him to experience a meltdown if he couldn’t think of a quick solution

Dream finds a change in his routine distressing too, but his reaction is a bit milder, he tends to get anxious and starts stimming to calm himself down all while he works on a way to get his routine back on track

Speaking of meltdowns, whenever the twins are extremely distressed, Nightmare is more likely to experience a shutdown while Dream is more likely to experience a meltdown, that doesn’t mean the opposite can’t happen sometimes, but it really depends on the situation

Then the villagers came and abused Nightmare into masking his Autism, using his Autistic traits as an excuse to demonize him, made comments about how he must be “possessed”, meanwhile they abused Dream into masking by making sweet tainted mean spirited comments about any behavior he exhibited that felt “abnormal” to them, they’d say things like “honey, it’s rude not to look someone in the eyes when speaking to them” or how he should “use his words” when Dream felt like he couldn’t

Both Nightmare and Dream internalized such comments deeply, and started subconsciously masking their Autism, they were children at the time after all, and especially after the apple incident, Nightmare truly believed he might be a demon or at least possessed by one for centuries after, cause for so long Nightmare couldn’t find a logical explanation in his beloved books for why he behaves the way he does

The word “Autism” never even existed back then, Nightmare spent years of his life researching for any logical explanation only to hit a dead end each time, and now that he’s out in the multiverse seeing how many people don’t really exhibit the same behavior he and his twin do, he was trying desperately to reassure himself that he can’t truly be a “demon” considering Dream exhibits the same “abnormal” behaviors (it rarely made him feel better about himself), even as an adult, the thought of being a “demon” distresses Nightmare so much that he sometimes experiences a meltdown cause of it

Nightmare eventually gives up trying to understand himself and instead starts consciously masking his Autism, he starts forcing himself to look people in the eye when he speaks or spoken to, he stops himself from stimming, he forces himself to speak when he’s overwhelmed, he starts hiding his love for his special interest (he has an entire big library of books yet he’d force himself not to spend most of his time there), he stops isolating himself and forces himself not to avert from anyone touching him, all to appear “normal”, all while it’s physically painful and emotionally draining to him

Same thing with Dream, except Dream never consciously masks, it’s all subconsciously, he forces himself to make eye contact, he stops stimming when people are around, he forces himself to act “normal” when he’s overstimulated, he forces himself to speak even when he feels like he can’t, he hides his special interest and puts on a mask of empathy even when he can’t truly understand/ tune in with the pain or feelings others experience but rather only able to understand their pain in a logical manner (and it makes him feel so damn guilty, cause Dream loves to help people, he thinks that he should be able to feel sad when others do), he pretends to understand social cues when in reality he only mimics how others act in social situations, he blames his learning difficulties on “time constraints” and how he simply doesn’t have the time to sit down and learn

Sometimes both the twins’ masks slip away when they’re extremely overwhelmed, other times, they let their masks slip when they’re alone, and it only adds to their stress cause they feel a sort of fucked up guilt and shame over not acting in a “normal” way, other times it’s a guilty pleasure, they almost reached a point in which they think their Autistic traits are some sort of privilege, punishing themselves if they mess up by not giving themselves the relief of letting the mask slip when alone (like forcing themselves not to stim)

The fucked up truth is, their masks also really impairs them socially, cause sometimes they get anxious thinking about being normal, that it might distract them or cause them to lose track of things

And even when the centuries passed by and science developed and changed and the idea of demonic possession became outdated and mental health became more prominent, and the word “Autism” came to be, neither twins really know they have Autism, neither of them even know what Autism is, Dream doesn’t have the resources to understand what it is, and Nightmare gave up trying to understand himself a long time ago to realize he’s not demonic for it

Will they eventually know about it, understand themselves better and get the support they deserve? It’ll probably take as many years to undo the damage done but I like to believe they do

A kinda part 2

[imaybe5tupid]

On the hidden repressed suburban white emo boy darkness in Laios’ heart

LET ME BE CLEAR: i like Laios, this is not a hate post, his flaws and darker parts of who he is round out his character and make him the character I love. Also this isn’t proper meta or analysis just my literal sleepy off the cuff rambling

I think Laios can be very comfortably summed up as someone who feels he was never indulged and the person he is in the series grew over those scars. I really enjoy how much Laios genuinely has a lot of darkness in his heart his emo-boy ness is really underrated. He canonically thought of (and is implied to sometimes still think of) his bullies (and sometimes people in general) like this

Aside being autistic, well into his 20s Laios really inhabits this very imo teenage mindset/outlook thats a combination of outsider and contrarian (the latter secretly). And the Winged Lion sees this immediately for what it is, this idea of being an alienated outsider due to your unique understanding of the world (I don’t mean Laios thinks hes like a nobel prize winner but more that he has a lot of resentment for how the things he’s interested in are not valued in the way he values them) and the percieved dull conformism of others (eg. his father), and how these feelings of his come from a deliberate (as in i feel hes actively trying to make himself think this as a coping mechanism) lack of intellectual and emotional curiosity about people or things that he’s unable to box into this Different category i.e the grass is always greener (of course in addition to his Traumas). For example monsters obviously, but also his fascination with Toshiro’s foreignness, like the island was probably full of strong cool warrior types but they weren’t so distinctly “exotic” (unfortunate but true 😔, many such cases see Japanism and also ironically cause thats how i hc the toudens, the way scandinavia is weirdly idolised by a great deal of the world, or even the way people will see an indie movie set in like small town absolutely anywhere else in the world from where they are and be like waow so cool and different unlike my LAME hometown imagine that meme of the ships thats like their barbaric practices etc.) and an emblem of this cool different world that he could idealise and escape into.  Shuro represents a kind of escapist fantasy for Laios, like in addition to just being (to Laios) This Super Nice Guy Who Always Saves Me And Says Yes To Me And Never Gets Mad, he’s also Nothing Like Those Boors from the village/school/ the military. And he probably dgaf about Rin or like Eastern diaspora in Melini and would say offensive things to them running along the lines of what he said to Lycion (“so you only look different on the outside, nothing is different internally , how disappointing”). Like you can compare Kabru’s curiosity towards people which is driven by a genuine passion for humanity, to Laios’ at times objectifying curiosity toward Shuro which is shaped by the pain of the past and immediately see the sickness in the head Laios has lol. Unconsciously, Laios I think can also be a deeply self-centred guy at his core (evidenced by the nature of his curse at the end of the story too haha).

[ericshoney]

Sensory overload ~ Brothers!Sturniolo Triplets

Summary: Your day doesn't go as planned, which Nick, Matt and Chris help you through.

Warnings: possible swearing, shouting, crying, kicking, punching, nicknames, reader is ADHD and autistic, fluff ending

Reader's age: 6

a/n: I know everyone with ADHD and autism don't show behaviour like this when over stimulated/having a sensory overload, but this is how the reader deals with it at her age.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had started on Monday morning.

You weren't feeling the best after having all weekend with Nick, Matt and Chris, knowing after having a fun weekend with them, you had to go school, but they promised they would be home when you finished and would do something fun.

So as you went to school, you weren't the happiest. When you got to school, you saw your best friend wasn't in either, so that made you feel worse and then to top it all off, your teacher wasn't in, meaning you had a substitute who you didn't know and upset your routine.

The teacher, whose name you didn't care to learn, planned fun stuff. Which for most kids your age was awesome, but you didn't like surprise activities that didn't follow routine or you didn't have time to process. This also meant the classroom was very loud, something else you didn't like.

So by the time you were picked up by your mum, you were already overstimulated, since you didn't have any of your stim toys. You got in the car and your mum saw your sad face.

"Oh honey, what's wrong?" She asked.

"Bad day." You mumbled.

She frowned as you started tapping your fingers on the seat. She knew what she was about to say too would upset you.

"Honey, I can tell it's been a bad day and if you want to talk about it you know you can, but if you don't want to right now that's okay. But when you get home, Nick, Matt and Chris won't be there straight away." She began saying.

"What! But they promised!" You shouted, kicking your feet against the seat. Luckily it was the passenger seat.

"Sweetheart calm down please. I know they promised, but they went to the store with your dad." She explained.

"They thought they would have been home when you got there." She added.

You whined and pulled at your hair, everything had seemed to fall apart today. Your routine was messed up, you didn't have your stim toys and your brothers wouldn't be home when you got there.

Your mum soon pulled in the driveway, letting you out of the car. You then ran inside and to your room, throwing things around. MaryLou sighed as she brought your bag in, placing it on the sofa.

Ten minutes later, your dad and brothers came home, each greeting your mum cheerfully.

"Where is she?" Nick asked, noticing you not around.

"Crying in her room." She answered.

"Why, what happened?" Matt asked.

"Bad day at school, she hasn't said what happened, I also told her you wouldn't be here straight away, she started kicking in the car." She replied.

Nick, Matt and Chris came up to your room, seeing you crying on your bed. The three frowned and walked in slowly.

"Hey bub, we're here now. We just had to help dad get some stuff at the store." Chris called softly.

"Said you'd be here." You mumbled.

"We know bub, but dad needed some extra help. It was only ten minutes, okay." Matt replied.

"Wanna tell us what caused you to be upset about school?" Nick asked.

You sighed and told them everything. They listened closely and Matt noticed you drumming on your legs. He walked over to your dresser where most of your stim toys sat and grabbed you one.

"We're sorry it was a bad day, kiddo." Chris said, pulling you in for a hug.

"Just got messed up." You muttered.

"We understand, sweetheart. When things don't go to plan it can be hard." Nick responded.

"Am I in trouble?" You asked.

"No, petal! Never, we all understand your needs and it's all okay. You wanna go to the park?" Matt suggested.

"If that's okay." You said.

"Always kiddo. I'll even race you." Chris said, making you smile wide.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: lowkey don't feel this is any good 😞

Tags:

@lgbtq-girl @mattsfavbigtitties @onelesslonelygirlbieber6 @riowritesitall @sturniolo-fann

[kokiri]

Consider: Dragons in Final Fantasy XIV are capable of creation magicks.

If not something similar to it. They just didn't achieve the societal potentials, regulations, and limits that the Ancients reached before the Final Days. The biggest thing that supports this is simple:

Dragons do not mate to reproduce.

All dragons are capable of an unexplained form of asexual reproduction¹. Physical relations are unnecessary² and dragons do not exhibit notable sexual dimorphism. After all, any dragon, regardless of their personal gender identity, is capable of reproducing even if they have been separated from their consort for hundreds of years.

We see that Orn Khai, from the Stormblood Dragoon quest line, is an example of this.

Orn Khai is a dragonet who was brought into the world by Vedrfolnir, his father, likely ~700 years ago³, during the interim of a thousand years separation from his consort who fled to another continent that long ago to escape Nidhogg's thrall. Orn Khai doesn't even meet Faunehm, Vedrfolnir's aforementioned consort and Orn Khai's mother from our perspective of families, until the end of the quest storyline.

Most importantly, dragons are unsundered beings.

That I can tl;dr about in detail in a future post, otherwise this post will get too long. But with that being said...

Dragons are functionally immortal when it comes to lifespans, to our knowledge, not unlike the Ancients.

On that note, it's also funny to think that, based on comments from Ancients and the Lopportis, unsundered children were very small. Much like dragonets!

Dragons, especially Midgarsormr and the First Brood, contain a wellspring of aether that far exceeds that of any sundered beings. This wellspring of aether found in dragon eyes has been used to summon Primals without a surplus of crystals. Captured dragons from the Meracydian horde even maintained the continuous physical existence of Bahamut for countless years.

While it doesn't 1:1 correlate to the creation magicks of the Ancients, dragons do undergo physical transformations by aspecting to different elemental aethers. They may even adopt a form more suitable for their personal desires and needs, such as developing dexterous hands for crafting and gathering, like we see with Ehll Tou in her custom delivery story!

I'm sure there's also something somewhere to be said about how, as a result of their ancestors feasting on Ratatoskr's aether, dragon blood causes Ishgardians to take on draconic forms. It could be an unsundered power thing or an eldritch horror caused by drinking an alien being's blood. I just thought it was still worth noting.

Notes and resources, because I'm an autistic stickler about it sometimes:

¹ "Although dragons will identify their gender as either male or female, be it for the sake of convenience or individual preference, every member of the species is capable of reproducing asexually." Encyclopedia Eorzea 1, page 270 [x]

² "Wait, do you mean to say you require two of your race to mate!? It is a wonder you have not gone extinct considering the brevity of your lives. It is so much simpler for dragons─only one of us is required to lay our eggs!" Orn Khai, Dragon Sound [x]

³ "I've lived tenfold your years." Is what Orn Khai tells Estinien in the side story Echoes of Delusion, meaning he's ~320 years old. [x]

[thequietkid-moonie]

Autistic memeber of the Astral Express

[ PLATONIC HEADCANONS ] [ Pom Pom, Himeko, Welt, March, Dan Heng & the trailblazer ]

[ Honkai Star Rail ]

I want to make this some kind of tradition, having at least one fic with autistic reader for every fandom I write for! Request or original idea, it doesn't matter, the important is bring cute fics and comfort!!

Hope you enjoy it and feel the inmense love and comfort Moonie is expressing for you, dear reader ❤️❤️

The astral express is constantly reciving people from the whole galaxy, everyone is welcome to the visit the astral express, and just like that everyone is more than welcome to joing the nameless and travel across the universe, helping people in need

Everyone has a past and a reason to why they choose to follow their own path, and thats is respected in the astral express, they aren't bothered by it in the slighest (and even if you prefer to don't say anything about it its okay too), once you decided to join the crew you imediatly become part of the family and are accepted as such

It will be quite helpful if you are sincere and tell them about your condition, or at least one of the crew, that way they will be able to help you feel more comfortable and adapt what it is need to adapt to bring you comfort, no one in the crew will be disrespectful or think less of you (in fact, every one is more than willing to share some words of comfort if you feel insecure or even bad for your disability)

Pom Pom as the driver of the astral express he end up taking the charge of taking care of the crew (and visitors) while your stay on the train, so that is why at the end, once you joined the nameless was him who directly approached to you and ask you if there were something you needed to feel more comfortable, inisiting that there is no need to be shy, you are free to talk to him if you need anything. As well, since Pom Pom is the once who is in charge to cook (not that it bothers him, he does it with joy) he will ask you at some point if you have any preferences or even what is what you like the most when it comes to food (at the end Pom Pom will learn how to make your comfort food just the way you like it! and he actually feels quite proud of himself for that)

If changes tend to cause you distress the constantly traveling around the galaxy and constantly visiting all kind of worlds can not be the best for you, however to help you with that Himeko always make sure to take time before the jump to tell you about your next destination, telling you all the details she can in hopes to help you feel less anxious and stress by the new enviroment, as well with knowing the name of the planet you can easily search for more information in the data bank that the train owns (and since Dan Heng is always there he is more than willing to help you search the information you need)

As well, if you feel that there is something in the enviroment of your next destination that you may not be able to handle too well then you can just stay on the train while the rest of the crew take care of the problem, besides it is helpful if someone stays on the train (and if you decide to stay on the train March promise to take a lot of photos just for you and will try to bring you and Pom Pom a souvenier)

Even when you have a disability no one in the astral express will look down or think less of you, in fact all of them will try to learn about your disability and how it affects you to be able to offer the help you need, and they always does. Himeko is the best to bring comfort or help you understand things you struggle with, as well she can show you around the train and teach you how it works if you really want to know, Welt is also really good with comfort but more indirectly, making sure you never forget how apreciate you are by everyone (and not only in the astral express)

March will be the one who has more problems with adapting to your condition because she is really clingy and loud, she loves dragging you to what she is up to because she consider you as a really good friend is her way to show you how much she likes you, that is why she has to be reminded constantly to respect your space and to don't be too loud or touchy, either by you or the rest of the crew. Is probably that more than once she have trigger you and made you upsed (or even made your body hurt due the overestimulation), but that has never being her intention and she always try to make it up for you

Dan Heng is the one who is more quickly to adapt to your needs, he respects a lot your condition and always make it clear, even if he has never being too expressive you can tell by his actions how much he loves and cares for the astral express crew, including you, you can notice the little hints of him making sure there is nothing that could trigger discomfort or distress on you or quietly checking on you whenever you are spending time together, it isn't that he underestimated you but he does worry for you. Also, he has never have problems with people coming to the archives (even if it kinda is his room), so if you it brings you comfort the quiet and peaceful atmosphere of that room you are more than welcome to go whenever you want

Despite having a lot of knowledge due Kafka's helps, after their memories being eraised the trailblazer is now more like a newborn and everything is quite new, so they has to take some time to adapt and properly learn how to treat you to don't make you upset or bring you discomfort by accident, not that they thinks that your disability is a problem, is just that they don't want to bring you troubles, although, for them it won't be as dificult to adapt as it is for March and once they do and finally feels comfortable (knowing that they won't make you feel uncomfortable neither) they just become a great friend and a little bit protective over you too

[mobblespsycho100]

which one’s toshiro and whys he autistic?

[ID: full body colored illustration of toshiro from the dungeon meshi manga. /End ID]

THIS FREAKIN GUY!!!! anyway

[ID: anonymous tumblr ask: "would def love to hear ur autistic shuro thoughts". /End ID]

awesome. rant under the cut because it will be long

So before we understand why Toshiro is the way he is we must first understand two things abt him:

1. his household situation is a very traditional clan of warriors type situation. his father is very strict and he left his homeland to go to the Island and explore the dungeon to train and become a warrior to be someone suited as the family head

2. Eastern and Western cultures of respect/propriety are different, and Ryoko Kui highlights it well even in her fantasy world.

With that in mind, heres some bullet point rapid fire thoughts that consume my current state of dunmeshi brain:

Toshiro has an avoidant personality. He fears upsetting others due to his upbringing, and rarely tells others how he feels not because he thinks they would simply understand him but because he doesn't want to seem rude and imposing / cause offense to others especially since he's not in his own homeland / hes a foreigner that should respect the land's customs, not his own wishes.

Setting boundaries is hard for everyone, but especially autistic (and some other ND, like those with Avoidant Personality Disorder) people. Those with ASD, at least in my experience, don't want to be isolated from others. So they mask.

They mask what? their desires. their true selves. their opinions. their discomfort. all for the sake of pleasing others (who are often neurotypical)

With that in mind, suddenly, what Maizuru said abt him as a child makes sense. Due to his strict upbringing, Toshiro had to more or less hide his preferences and force himself to adapt to the rigid constraints of his culture and the pressure to be the next family head, this responsibility is his burden to bear and he cannot be someone who expresses his selfish desires instead of focusing on being a strong warrior and leader

"Why did he say he hate Laios and that it should've been obvious that he disliked/found Laios' treatment of him uncomfortable??" BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS. I'm not going to write off Laios' autism/autistic coding, but its baffling (note: definitely racism and bias for white autistic ppl) to me that a lot of ppl don't see Toshiro's perspective and straight up ignores it. This is a lack of wanting to be rude by speaking up that is based on culture difference on Toshiro's part, and straight up ignorant of his microagressions/racism and lack of self awareness on Laios' end. They were both right, they were both wrong too. This is a complicated conflict that cannot be boiled down to simple ableist/the NT vs ND divide. There's something called . intersectionality. Which brings me to the next point

Toshiro never actually hated Laios. He found him uncomfortable, yes. But he didn't /hate/ him, he was speaking out because he's had enough!!! he's done tolerating Laios' racist bullshit, and he's done following the arbitrary Eastern rules of respecting others and not being rude!!! He. Wants. Laios. To Understand. What. He. Was. Feeling. Because he just had enough!!!!! alright!!! he's at his limit hes at his breaking point, the one he loves is now probably beyond saving, and this is a good time as any to break the news to Laios that he thinks that Laios is impulsive and doesn't fully understand how his actions have consequences!!! Hes right abt this. His feelings on this is valid, just as valid as Laios'

General autistic traits I find from Toshiro: his admiration of Falin's indifference towards insects ("woah shes so brave and gentle!! just like me, fr!!!"), His lack of regard for his own needs and wants (needing to sleep and eat and drink) because he was super focused on saving Falin, His lack of like drastic expression changes, his discomfort with physical touch when it's initiated without consent (see: Laios hugging ppl extra bonus art by Ryoko Kui), his manner of like speaking short and concise, people pleasing tendencies, his like quick way of combat, rule upholder/routine following enjoyer, he seems distant from others even those he consider family not cuz of like any terrible reason but hes just. someone who enjoys his own time alone like. yeah

aannnnndd. thats abt it? i think.

Big part of this is definitely me relating to Shiro as an Asian (specifically chinese indonesian) person who is probably Autistic lmao. I hope this brings more insight on why Toshiro is actually one of the silliest and epiccest dunmeshi characters ever I love him

[hypnoneghoul]

absolution live 2017/2023

here I am with my over 1,5k word autistic ramble about the differences between absolution live from 2017 and 2023. at the end there is an audio file of both versions put together, if anyone would be interested in that. it sound very cool heh

also tags for people who showed interest in this: @forest-rot @ghuleh-recs @counting-eyerolls @ngnt-writes @ghnosis @rain-ghoul-appreciator @sister-rosemary-marie

anyway, under the cut

I will start with an analysis of instruments and players separately, one by one, and then I’ll talk about the whole thing a little bit. Also I’m using only ghoul names in there, but when I’m talking about styles and skills I obviously mean the unmasked folks.

Both in 2017 and 2023 we have Mountain on drums, which gives us a very fun comparison opportunity. In 2017 he goes heavy on the cymbals—according to the original version of the song—but it makes the whole thing a bit too crashy and too clogged. The drums are very widely mixed and set—slightly focused on the left side following the stage layout from then—but I think the cymbals could be a bit quieter in comparison to the actual drums, especially the floor tom. In general we can hear how smaller Mountain’s kit was in 2017. In 2023 the entire drum part is sharper and deeper, more bassy and it’s focused more in the middle. The way it feels to me, in 2017 the drums are the background and in 2023 they are the core. Mountain has better fills in 2023, he obviously got more comfortable just jamming in there and having fun over the years.

Dewdrop on bass in 2017; we can hear (or at least I can) that he is not a bassist. He scrapes his pick on the strings a lot which is connected to him being primarily a guitarist—it’s about the picking hand placement and angle. The bass is pretty quiet and it has overdrive on it. It helps conceal his buzzing a little bit, because it happens a fair amount for Dewdrop. Again—bass is not his main instrument. We can also hear exactly when he slams it, like we know he loves doing. In general sometimes he’s quieter and sometimes he’s louder and it’s mostly caused by his picking; how he angles his hand in certain moments and how much strength he puts into it. At the end he goes absolutely feral. Not surprising.

Rain in 2023 is amazing. He’s very skilled, and it’s a huge shame Ghost doesn’t have any songs that could really allow him to show off. He hit his cue a bit too fast at one point, but it might as well be intentional. He’s so much clearer and cleaner, both due to his skills and the settings. Rain has more drop, he most likely has his bass on a different pickup setup than Dewdrop, plus they used different basses—Rain’s with additional mods. One of those mods is a very heavy bridge—Badass Bass—and I bet we can thank that piece for the sustain and note definition in Rain’s playing. In general it flows more, fits into the whole image better. His changes in volume are controlled, not accidental like it happens for Dewdrop. Rain puts more slides, tiny additions and note changes into his live playing, it makes it a bit more lively to me. He’s put perfectly in the middle, nicely blended with the drums.

Unfortunately there isn’t much I can say about Ifrit, Dewdrop, Aether and Phantom mainly because “Absolution” isn’t really a guitar focused song and so it isn't the best song to compare guitar skills, either. The most interesting part—guitar wise—is the solo and little fills on the rhythm now and then.

Ifrit is very precise, I couldn’t hear any mistakes from him, but also the lead is surprisingly quiet in general. His palm muting is on spot, pull-offs and hammer-ons both in the chorus and the solo are very clean and he is simply a pro, he’s got super skills and I wish we could’ve gotten more (</3). He makes the whole song as lively as his stage personality, it sounds flowy but packed with emotions and still so precise it hurts.

Dewdrop’s sound is way better, though he and Ifrit are close skill wise. The difference between Hagstrom Fantomen and Fender Stratocaster is a big one, the main aspect that we can hear is the sharpness of the former and more grounded sound of the latter. Those two guitars also have a very different pickup arrangements—Dew’s strat has SSS (3x single-coils) pickups and he uses the bridge one (which is a Seymour Duncan Hot Rail), and the Fantomen’s has HH (two humbuckers that can be slip, but as far as I’m aware no ghoul used that feature), also with the bridge one used more frequently. In “Absolution” Dewdrop doesn’t add very much—as he does to some other songs—so it’s pretty much the same as the original version. There are small differences that inherently come with his style and that is what makes his version differ from both Ifrit’s and the album's, but it’s all very slight. Dew also makes a very good use of his pedals, mainly wah—especially at the end.

Aether is a bit off tempo in some parts. He plays well, mostly clean, but we can pick out some slight mistakes—mostly sounds that aren’t supposed to be there. His palm muting is a bit too light. He goes heavy on the pick which makes his part of the solo a bit sharp (especially that he’s playing the higher harmony) and square-ish. The sharpness is, again, something we can partially blame on the Fantomen. Only partially because both Ifrit and Phantom prove that it’s manageable. 

Phantom is very clean, he adds a lot of slides which is a feature of his personal style. Said style of his is very lively and fun, to me it sounds and feels like a slinky (don’t laugh at me it’s the autism). He’s more fluid both in the solo and the rest of the song than Aether, but makes one—barely noticeable—mistake in the solo where he misses a note.

Also Phantom and Dewdrop in 2023 are more in sync than Aether and Ifrit in 2017. For whatever reason.

Now keyboard; Zephyr goes absolutely ham on the keys, but it is a piano song so that’s not only understandable, but also desirable, I would say. Key’s are in the right ear with slight migration to the middle when it matters, again according to the stage layout. Their precision and speed and overall skill is insane, the ending when they go wild is the most impressive part, because the song itself doesn’t give many opportunities. If you haven’t seen a video of Zephyr playing that ending you gotta do it now because it really is insane (RIP to that Nord Stage 2 though). The synth fill before the solo in 2017 is played back, in 2023 it’s played live by Cirrus.

In 2023 Cirrus plays the main chorus keyboard part, it can be heard easily on the left side (so once again stage layout accordingly). It’s clean and precise, she’s also very skilled, but unfortunately doesn’t really show off at the end like Zephyr does. Cumulus plays some chords before the solo while Cirrus plays the synth fill.

Vocals are not my thing so I’m only going to say what most of us can hear; Terzo is very nasal, but cleaner, and sings a bit higher. Clear pronunciation, good flow. It’s closest to Tobias’ normal singing voice. Copia is even more nasal, more growly and raspy. They’re both, obviously, in the middle in case of mixing.

Backing vocals in 2017 are all play-back for obvious reasons—pretty simple, taken straight off of the album recording. It’s put on the left, but it could be more favorable in the middle. 2023 is way more spectacular thanks to—mainly—the backing vocals. They are 90% Aurora and Cumulus, with lower levels of Cirrus and barely anything of Swiss. He’s louder by the end. I’m still conflicted about the growls—if it is Swiss or Papa’s play-back—but it’s a great addition that was very mild in 2017’s play-back. The backing vocals are on the sides, accordingly to the stage layout. It all just adds more spice, I adore them.

Sound engineering and mixing is so much better in 2023. We can easily tie it to the budget (though I’d like to “blame” it on Hayden’s part in the engineering, he’s a mastermind, too). The sound is much clearer and fluid than in 2017, it highlights all the instruments perfectly at the same time. Mixing in 2017 is more blunt, it’s a bit duller and some changes in volumes and placements of instruments could—or even should—be made. It doesn’t mean 2017 sucks—far from it—it’s just a technical difference which actually warms my heart if we look at how far has Ghost come. So, once again, considering the budget in 2017 vs. 2023 it’s all understandable. Also the crowd sound control in 2023 is very fun; it makes a great use of all the yelling causing the whole song to sound warmer and fuller.

Both 2017 and 2023 are on the exact same tempo, they can be put over each other perfectly (which I did). They slide apart at the end and the break before the outro is longer in 2023. The 2023 outro itself is pretty boring in comparison to 2017, most likely because in 2023 it’s not a closing song. Below there’s both “Absolutions” over each other; 2023 in the left and 2017 in the right headphone.

[ripleylove]

Sunshine.

requested by @judgementdaysunshine saying: Can I have poly Judgement day x Fem autistic reader with the prompt "You’re the sunshine on a dark day"?

pairings: the judgment day x austistic fem reader.

genre: fluff!

summary: Damian,Rhea,Finn and Dominik couldn't live without you,and their little gestures demonstrated it.

A/N: final exam in 2 days. im not happy. i hope this ends soon cause im gonna smash my head on a chandelier.

this is a kinda headcanon type of thing? I hope it's okay!!

⋆ ˚｡⋆𔓘⭒๋࣭

The love you felt around you was special.

You didn't feel different like your previous partners made you feel,you just felt right with them.

The way they made efforts to make you happy was heartwarming,and you couldn't help but fall for them even more.

Damian never failed to make you feel special,his big and strong figure protecting your clumsy one.

The two of you always baked cookies together,and he was always careful about any textures that could bother you.

Also,the way his arms wrapped around you was ethereal,caging you in his protectiveness and his strength.

When you would watch the stars with Finn, you always made a wish and then you kissed,sealing the promise to have each other with a love forever true.

If you felt down and you felt like clouds were in your head,Finn didn't make it a big deal,no,he just tried his best to comfort you while staying in bed,your forever safe place.

When you got hurt, Finn was always be the one to put a cute little bandage where you got hurt,kissing it better after.

With Dominik,life was never boring. He always had fun things to do (some of them extremely stupid,but since it's Dominik we're talking about,it isn't even surprising.), that the both of you would always do.

He was super jealous,in public would always try to be close to you,Damian,Finn and Rhea to show that they're taken and loved.

If people in public made you feel overwhelmed,he always took your hand and took you to the nearest cafe to buy you a boba,not without telling his other partners,of course.

And,finally,Rhea. She always did your make up, experimenting with new styles and new colors that weren't in your comfort zone,to try something new. And,of course, you also did hers.

At lunch time,when the five of you were eating,she always shared half of her food with you,lovingly feeding it to you.

As always,she would softly trace the tip of her nails on your neck while you were cuddling,especially when you needed some stimming. It would give you chills,and your giggles never failed to make her smile.

The four of them were completely delighted when they were with you,each moment spent with you was simply wonderful.

The love they had for you and for each other was incredible,the world for them could not go on if you weren't with them,so every night they prayed to never lose you.

You were the reason they woke up in the morning,and, especially,you were the sunshine on a dark day.

taglist: @bibibi-tchx @stellakiddsblog @p-mp @thegalacticnacho091 @teenagedramaqueenlisa

[prosciuttoon]

Toshiro/Shuro is overhated

(mirror of my thread on twitter)

ever wanted to talk abt something so bad but u have so many thoughts so u cant even begin to organize a sentence. thats me abt shuro and its why i cant give my thoughts on him. i NEED to get this out of my system bc its takign up so much memory in my brain i need that space for thinking.

so i was really surprised to find so much hate for him even tho he seems pretty normal and rational out of the whole cast. ive deducted that its mostly abt his laios fight and that the ppl who hate him probably had bad experiences w social cues and relationships w neurotypicals bc of that. theres no way to avoid it bc its pretty much Right In Your Face that laios is ND. but thats not the only factor in why their relationship is rocky. its also the culture barrier. u have to understand toshiro was raised as JAPANESE NOBILITY ofc he would be a little conservative

also culture shock. idk if u know this but jp culture is very Mind Your Own Business like a lot of other asian cultures . ofc hes gonna be weirded out by a stranger invading his space. also his names not even Shuro. its just yt ppl not pronouncing his name right and settling for whats easiest.

img src: fan translation by savaralyn2 , i think its from the adventurers bible Complete Edition bc i dont remember it in the old one

ok you get the gist of the culture aspect of it. lets go into the ND/NT clash aspect of it. yes i understand its pretty hurtful to never be told when youre acting inappropriately. i am autistic too lmao. but you have to understand that shiro is one guy and he even does realize that repressing things is one of his fatal flaws. again. asian culture. non confrontational. that sorta thing. but these are genuine frustrations. if i were him id be annoyed too but id speak out about it. set boundaries. bc im blunt. shiros not. he was taught crazy strict manners (hierarchies, respect, politeness, etc).

his problem isnt ableism its a culmination of culture barriers, how he was raised to behave, and terrible lack of communication as thing caused by "all of the above" plus he just generally keeps to himself a lot which means repressing frustrations that will explode leading to a pathetic fistfight while hes starved, exhausted, and dehydrated. also. if he was ableist he would hate laios. he doesnt hate laios. at the end of the day, they are friends. NT and ND ppl can be friends u know. there will be rifts (like their fight) but you just have to communicate misunderstandings. theyre gonna be fine lol

anyways that was my whole spiel abt it. i think i got everything out that i wanted to? my head still feels a little full so i may add more later when i remember something

also i think its a little unfair to rule out the possibility of laios and him just being 2 very different kinds of ND bc its very common for misunderstandings to occur even then. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT BUT WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER! but for the sake of interpreting the Fight as a commentary on NT social rules and ND frustration, ill say toshiros NT. will we ever know? hes so far in the sidelines... youd really have to dig in the extra content to see the intricacies of his character.... please give him a chance