#he is so so warm hearted and caring and would go out of his way to help strangers and risk his life for others

[cherry-leclerc]

we never talk about it ☆ op81

genre: humor, angst, yearning, massive crushes, and lots and lots of miscommunication, assistant!reader

word count: 11k

It's unwise—longing for someone like Oscar. While he's the epitome of someone anyone can easily fall in love with, you're the epitome of a devoted girl who will fall in love with him. You might not even care too much about all the heartbreak you endure along the way.

inspired by this !

cherry here!... based on real events.

Do you remember the day we first met?

The wind doesn’t do its job in blocking him out, the way you prayed and wished it would. You’re still able to catch the crack in his voice—a distant reminder of the way it once made you giggle. Even his nose is beet red, matching the Christmas lights. But apart from all that, you still hear him. You still see him. 

You always have.

“A little bit. Yeah.”

He flinches, then tries to play it off with a soft smile. Like he doesn’t want you to uncover the slight hurt he feels. But he can’t read your mind. He never could. And that was the problem.

Oscar nods, feigning indifference. “I do. Remember it all, I mean.  Think back to it quite often."

-

It’s utterly useless to try and ignore him, really.

His hair is too fluffy, his eyes are too bright, and his accent is making you want to flaunt the way some loony character would with a hand over their heart. It was honestly a tad bit demeaning.

But you can't help it. You admire the way his brown locks fall in a lousy manner when he towers down to sign the contract. You blush when his eyes get that twinkle in them. And you swoon over almost anything he says with a shy smile.

“You’re drooling.”

Mortified, you briskly run the back of your hand against your mouth before sending a harsh glare. Lando snickers. “Would you please stop?”

His jaw drops, theatrically. “You’re not actually into him—are you?”

He says it with a trace of humor, but also shock, and you can't help but have your mouth run dry. A loose grin starts to expand across his lips as you hurriedly shake your head. “O-of course not. Are you crazy?”

But if anything, you feel crazy. You must be, right? With every passing second of your heart beating faster and faster against your chest simply just by looking at the young Australian, you’re sure you fall straight into the category like some love fool.

Lando squints his eyes. “I don’t know.” He leans in straight into your face, nearly hissing. “Am I?”

“Am I interrupting?” 

Flinching hard, you turn quickly to face Anastasia. You’d initially met the black haired girl back in 2019. As you started off as the Brits personal assistant, she took over as Carlos’ and later also Daniel’s. Over the course of time, you two came to be as close as sisters. 

“No! Not at all,” you squeak, nervously before pushing the McLaren driver away and patting towards the open chair next to you. She giggles, rolling her eyes and adjusting herself. “How was the flight over?”

A shrug. “As good as it can get. Sat next to a silver fox, so I guess that must count for something, no?” Lando shudders. She leans in closer, plopping her head against your shoulder. “What’d I miss?”

“Not much.” Only, that’s not true. She missed the way he laughed awkwardly when the doors wouldn’t slide open and let him into the headquarters. She missed the way he rolled his R’s a little too hard when saying ‘sorry’. She missed the way he grabbed the pen with a certain glow on his face, like he almost couldn’t believe any of this was happening. Lazy fingers pat her head gently once before sighing. “He seems nice.”

“How do you know?”

You know because of the way he talks to everyone. Like he cares about what they have to say. Whether it’s about how great his career is going to be here in McLaren or if they introduce their kids to him via FaceTime. He always wore the same smile, talked in the same warm tone. So, could your guess be far off? Yes. It could be completely far off. But you would bet money that it wasn’t. 

“Just a wild hypothesis.”

Her laugh isn’t too loud, not ridiculously so, at least, but the fact that it echoes is what makes it appear as such. Anastasia is quick to slap her hand over her mouth, the Brit turns fast to face her with panic evident in his eyes, and you simply blink with a shade of red slowly creeping towards your cheekbones. 

Zak grins. “You three.”

“Oh, we’re out,” Lando mumbles in monotone, already grabbing your wrist and dragging you to the exit. You follow numbly, like you don’t have any strength left in your body. 

“You’re leaving me?” Anastasia hisses.

“She’s my assistant,” he says like a matter-of-fact. “Where I go, she goes.”

“Oh, you Judas—”

“All of you,” Zak clarifies, narrowing his eyes over to you and the Brit. You gulp.

With a soft curse, Anastasia stands up, tall and firm, and makes her way over with all the confidence in the world. You frown, craving to be the same way, even just a small percentage. Instead, you have to be forced by the McLaren driver. 

With every step, your head just spins faster because now, he’s more than real. You can smell his cologne. You can count all the moles that cover his face if you really wanted to. You can spot how his hair is still a bit wet, indicating an early shower. 

He’s just becoming— too real. 

“Lando, buddy, meet your new teammate!”

“Nice to meet you,” the blue eyed boy declares with a loopy grin, letting go of your hand in order to shake his. 

“Likewise.”

Zak claps once. “Oh! And meet your personal assistant, Anastasia.”

“Here for anything you might need,” she cheers with a bright smile.

“Fantastic.”

A wave of silence overlaps your four before Lando clears his throat. “And even though you might not be working with her one-on-one, this is my Anastasia.” A snicker. “My assistant, if you will.”

“Nice to meet you—”

“Nice to meet you—”

You both freeze, hands intertwined for a second longer before abruptly letting go. He lets out a dry laugh while you do the same. The way your skin tingles makes you blush. 

“This is fun and all, but we actually have somewhere to be,” the Brit claims with a suspicious look slashed across his usual laid back expression. You nod. “But we’ll see each other soon, man. Can’t wait to race together!”

In a flash, you two are out the door, leaving a dumbfounded Oscar blinking slowly.

-

“He fucks with you.”

“Excuse me?”

Another bench press. “As in, he likes you. He’s into you.”

You don’t dare ask who he is because you already know who the Brit’s referring to and that would only inflate your ego. Snapping your fingers, you narrow your eyes. “Focus. Two more sets left to go.” He groans, flipping you off.

It would be a lie to say that this didn’t make your self-esteem skyrocket. Could he be right? Could someone like Oscar ever lay eyes on you? Somewhere in your dreams, you’d like to say yes. Yes. That is a possibility. But the longer you think about it, the more unrealistic it gets.

You don’t have what others do. And that itself is enough to pop the bubble. 

-

The start of the season is always tough. 

“He’s extremely nervous.”

For some more than others.

You frown. “Really? But he’s usually so…relaxed.”

Anastasia shrugs, hair falling over her shoulder as she continues typing. “I mean, I tried talking to him but with everything I said, he’d just reply—'that's nice’. It was sarcastic, if anything. I would have laughed if I didn’t feel for him. Poor boy.” Her fingers freeze mid-air. “Wait—do you think you could talk to him?”

“I’m not sure that’s a great idea—”

“Come on! Maybe it’ll help him ease his nerves!”

“Ana—”

“Please.”

You huff. “Okay. Fine. Yeah. I’ll see what I can do.”

As soon as you knock, you almost want to turn away. Maybe it was all an exaggeration. Plus, it’s not like he’s going to die from having butterflies in his stomach. Yeah, surely he’ll be fine and he doesn’t really even need you to—

“Come in.”

He wasn't expecting you, that much you can tell by the way his brows go up. But he’s quick to erase the confusion, settling with a fond expression. “Hey.”

“Hi,” you squeak before cringing at the sound. He chuckles, returning to his warm-up exercises. “How are you feeling?”

Another chuckle, this time amused. “Anastasia sent you, didn’t she?”

“What?” A beat. “No.”

He hums. “Tsk. I’m a bit nervous, that's all.”

You lick your lips, kicking your foot up against the doorframe. What could you possibly say that she hasn’t already? If she couldn’t ease him, then how can you? The thought of messing up and making it worse makes your stomach churn. 

“You’re going to do g—”

“Great?” He sighs, blowing his cheeks. “That’s exactly what she said.”

“And what’s wrong with it? She’s only trying to help.”

“No. I know she is, but…” He looks down onto his lap, pausing all movements. “Look, I appreciate you both. What you’re trying to do for me, but I can’t stand hearing what others think I want to hear.”

“It doesn’t do it for you?”

His eyes grow slightly wide with the way you go about and ask. He’s never seen you be anything other than sweet and reserved. But this—right now—is stern and very coach-like. Something and someone you aren’t. Not even close.

“It doesn’t,” he admits, finally looking away. “Never liked it. Always sounds too forced.”

You nod, crossing your arms. “Fine. I can tell you the truth. I can be truthful.” He perks. “Oscar, you’re a terrific driver.” He groans, covering his face with his hands. “But just because you’re great doesn’t mean you’ll be great all the time.” The Australian frowns, uncovering and looking up at you with attentive eyes. “You’re going to mess up. You’re going to be second, or third, or sometimes even twentieth, but that doesn’t matter, you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you signed that contract, so you sort of have to suck it up, either way.” He lets out a loud laugh. Very unlike him. A weak smile threatens to fall as you try your best to push it back. “There’s going to be bad races, but there’s also going to be very good races. It all depends on you and how hard you work. Sometimes you’ll have a good car, a good strat, and others you’ll have a shitbox and a bad strat. That’s just the way this sport works, okay?”

Oscar blinks slowly, as if trying to decipher who you are, and that itself makes you dizzy. “I-I-I don’t care if you’re nervous, I don’t care if you’re sure—all we care is that you drive that car, and that you try your best no matter what. Can you do that?”

It’s foreign. The feeling in his chest. He’s not used to hearing any of this. As of recently, everyones been texting him to say how great he’s going to be. How far he’ll go. And while he was grateful for having unconditional support, he also dreaded hearing it sometimes because he doesn’t even want to picture letting any of  them down. He’ll act like he’s fine, he’ll act like he doesn’t care—but none of that would be true.

The brunette tilts his head to the side, slightly squinting. “I can. I can always try my best. Even if I fall short.”

“Good.” A beat. “We all believe in you. No matter what, okay?”

A timid smile. “I know…”

He ends up having to retire the car by lap fifteen, but the most astonishing part is that he’s not even upset. He tried his best. He listened to every single advice his engineer would alert him with. He practiced long hours in the stimulator.

This is just the way things go sometimes. Just like you said.

-

“I’m bored. Can I get a ten minute break or something?” Lando grimaces, rolling his wrist like it's the worst pain in the world. 

You hum, fixing the signed hats back into the box. With eyes screwed, you shrug. “Fine. But only ten! I’m serious. We need to have this done by one.”

“Yes! Ten—got it.”

He doesn’t come back in ten. For the matter, he actually goes missing. 

You narrow your eyes towards the clock, watching as it clicks like some mockery. You’re going to strangle him. You vow at that very moment that you’ll strangle the Brit as soon as you lay hands on him. With one final huff of desperation, you stand up, rubbing your eyes. People frolic through the paddock—you’re sure you even catch a glimpse of Lewis being papped—but that’s not what catches all of your attention. 

Instead, you find yourself leaning against the rail, squinting down to where the man of the hour sits, microphones huddled all around him like some interrogation. Anastasia smiles politely, back straight, and voice-recorder in hand. 

It’s faint—you almost can’t hear a thing—but it’s just enough. 

How does it feel to be back home? Enjoying it, no?

Oscar hums, straight brows slightly furrowed due to the bright sun, but just one adjustment of his hat makes that all go away. “Feels good. I’m able to sleep in my own bed, so that’s pretty cool. And yes. It may be a bit biased, but I am enjoying my time here more than the last two races.” Everyone chuckles. 

Can we talk about your expectations for this weekend? 

You can see him pause, and from where you’re standing, the way his fingers drum against his chair. “Well, I, uh…I hope for a good car.” The joke is supposed to be there, but you can tell everyone was expecting more with the way they murmur to one another. You wince.

Will raises the microphone up to his lips, along with his hand in order to catch the brunette’s attention. “I’m sure there’s been lots of people reaching out to you since this is your first home race, but has there been someone’s advice that has stuck like no other?”

Oscar smiles gently. “There has been, actually.”

You freeze, gripping the steel bar with anticipation. Your knuckles nearly feel like they’re about to snap, and you feel like you’re probably leaning a bit too far over the edge to hear it all, but you don’t even care. Will chuckles. “If it’s not too much to ask, would you mind sharing with us all? I’m sure it’ll help a lot of youngsters watching.”

Anastasia slides the recorder closer. Oscar visibly swallows. “I’m not sure I can. I never asked her for permission to talk about it. And quite frankly, I’d like to keep it between us.”

Will perks up. “Her?”

The black-haired girl is quick to whisper into his ear, turning the opposite way so no one can even attempt to read her lips. He nods, eyes trained forward like some guard. “Any more questions?” But everyone’s intrigued at this point, so all the questions that follow remain the same. Something that makes Anastasia panic and Oscar regret his choice of words. 

“Can we get a name?” some blurts out, nearly seeming desperate to get the inside scoop.

Only, his face remains still, jaw slacked. “No.”

Will raises his hand. “Very well, we don’t have any right to know, but are you willing to share a bit about what she said?”

And it’s almost as if the Australian can foresee that the only way to get out of this situation is by giving them what they want. Even if it’s a stupid little crumb. He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “She told me to try my best. That’s all I can really do.”

The mix of photographers and journalists deflate. “I-I’m sorry,” Lawrence Barretto slides in with a light tone and an ever lighter smile. “Don’t mean to lessen its meaning, but isn’t that a common thing to say? To hear?” An awkward laugh. “I mean, I just thought it’d be something a bit more…deep. Inspiring, perhaps.”

Blood rushes to your cheeks and you’re grateful to whatever God may exist that you’re not down there. On the other hand, Oscar is a bit bothered by the innocent comment, but then realizes he doesn't have to be. They weren’t there. They don’t know just how much more you said. How upfront you were with him without sounding condescending. Something most people did without even realizing. 

The brown eyed boy spares a smile. “Like I said—some things I’d like to keep between her and I. And even if it was just that, it’s the way she said it.” A beat. “It’s quite a lavish thing to have. A sincere person to talk to, I mean.”

Will tilts his head suspiciously. “It appears she might be someone special to you, yes?”

The Australian freezes at the unwanted interpretation. Suddenly, the atmosphere is far too crowded. He lets out a forced chuckle, rolling his neck before messaging it gently. “Well, yes. I’d agree.” 

A mix of giddiness and shock rushes through your veins as you refrain yourself from jumping up and down with excitement. 

“You’d be lucky if you had her as a friend too.”

-

“Is everything okay?”

Biting down on the churro he had gifted you as an apology for not getting back on time, you growl. “Yes. Why wouldn’t it be?”

Lando raises a thick brow. “Dunno. Maybe the fact that you’re moping.”

Your jaw goes slack, immediately turning to face him. “I am not moping.”

The sound he lets out indicates he doesn’t quite believe you, but is choosing to let it go. Also, he doesn’t want to see your patience run out, too scared of what you might do. The curly haired driver plops down onto his bed that stands in his motorhome, closing his eyes. You nearly envy the indifference in him. The lack of worry. 

“I can hear your teeth clenching. Gross.”

A grunt. “I’m gonna go grab a coffee. Need anything?”

“Only a nap. It’s a good thing you’ll be gone.” He turns over to his side, bringing your jacket over his face to block out any light. You bite the air, swinging silently for a minute or two before exiting the cramped room. 

The sun hurts, you remember thinking, but the upcoming migraine you’re getting is even worse. You should be used to this by now, given you’ve suffered from them since elementary, but based on the way you zig zag without meaning to is enough proof to know that you’re not. Everyone's voices are suddenly muffled, even the sound of engines roaring is as soft as a feather. You wince, massaging your temples as if that might help. 

Woah, are you feeling alright? 

“I’m fine,” you respond meekly, to who even knows. You wave them off rudely. “I’ll be fine. Just. Leave me alone.” 

Anastasia frowns, all while fanning your face. “No. You need to lay down.” She nudges the Australian, who up until now, you had no clue he had his arm clung around your waist. If you weren’t too busy feeling like shit, you’d definitely be making a fool out of yourself. Her green eyes fill up with worry. “I’m gonna go look for a paramedic.”

“You’re doing too much,” you slur, body letting loose and making the brunette shriek as he grips you harder, trying to keep you upright. 

A deadpan expression. “Oscar, take her back to your motorhome and have her lay down.”

He nods, hesitantly. “Y-yeah, okay. Okay.” Once she runs off like a headless chicken, you let out a dramatic gag. Sharp brows knit together with horror. “Do I smell bad?”

A giggle. “No. As a matter of fact, you smell rich.”

With his arm still wrapped around you securely, and warm eyes flickering from to you back to see where he’s heading, he grins, eyes crinkling. “Rich? That just so happens to have a scent?”

You purse your lips, wincing at the fact that your peripheral vision has gone completely dark. “Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I’m a terrific liar and I’m only stroking your ego for my benefit.”

Another chuckle. “Benefit? What benefit may that be?”

Tsk. “How else am I gonna get you to take me to bed?”

The Australian instantly chokes hard on a string of his own saliva, causing you to flinch at the loud sound. Loud to you, at least. He apologizes, but not before taking a glance down, like it’s the first time meeting you. 

As soon as you lay down on the miniature mattress, you release a groan. Even just having your eyes closed makes you dizzy. You let out a loud groan, kicking your feet against the cushion in desperation.

“That bad?”

“That annoying.”

And even though you can’t see him, he nods, internally freaking out, trying to think of ways to help. “Does this happen to you often?”

“Yes.”

He nods, sheepishly. “W-what do you normally do? You know? To help?”

Tossing over to lay on your side, you pinch your eyes, grinding your molars. For a minute, you sort of thought your teeth might crack. Everything about this situation was becoming unbearable. “My mom, she, um…she’d normally braid my hair. It helped sometimes. Others it didn’t.” Messy hair dangles over your face as you let you out a loud exhale, as if you were in the middle of releasing some demon. “I moved too much, she said.”

Oscar smiles, coming across like a faint memory locked in the back of your mind. “I-I-I can try…” Loopy eyes flicker up to face him, and he’s quick to scrunch his nose. The sight alone makes you breathe easier, though he doesn’t know that. Of course he doesn’t. “Only if you want me to…”

“You know how?”

“Sort of? When I was younger, I used to sit across from my sisters at the breakfast table. I was bound to learn a thing or two.”

The subtle proud smile makes your heart beat flutter, smitten at the insight to his childhood. You wish you knew more. Like what was his favorite show? Did he have any imaginary friends, just like you did? Or maybe his favorite superhero? But you swallow all those questions down your throat as soon as he kneels down next to you. The whiff of soft musk distinctively adds to your headache, but you’re too focused on him for something as dumb as that to matter. 

“Just…close your eyes.”

Taking one last glance at him, you comply, lashes fanning slowly before going completely dark. You can still hear him adjusting, you can feel him take your hair into his hands, but nothing makes you stop breathing like his touch that grazes your cheek. 

It’s almost ghostlike—doesn’t really stay on the same spot for too long—but you know it’s real. Long fingers calmly push strands of hair behind your ear, tranquility expanding over your body. The slight tickle it causes helps ease your pounding migraine, little by little. 

“Are my hands too cold?” he whispers, not trying to intrude, but at the same time, wanting to know. You twist, bottom lip jutting out. Not at all. Keep going. And he does. He ends up tangling your hair a bit, because as it turns out, he doesn’t remember much, but he’s sure to delicately fix his mess, brows drawn in with heavy concentration. 

As soon as your hair is back to flowing free, he relaxes, wincing a bit at the pain in his knees. Your hair feels soft. Just what he would imagine a cloud would feel like. For a second, he begins to wonder, who’s this really for? He feels like this might be soothing him more than you. 

Just then, his finger catches on a knot, and he freezes, stopping all movements. “Holy crap, I am so sorry, I—”

You let out a low whimper, but don’t do so much as bat an eye. You’re sound asleep. The brunette lets out a breath of relief, falling back to sit on the ground. 

Your face is a bit squashed—and you’re drooling just a tad bit—but for some odd reason, he finds himself admiring. You’re full lips. You’re lashes. God, even the way you breathe. He feels a tender smile itching, but it never truly gets to see the light of day, because before he knows it, the door is swung wide open. 

Anastasia stops dead in her tracks. “What happe—is she asleep?”

Oscar opens his mouth, then snaps it shut. He does this a couple of times, awkwardly turning to face you and his assistant, back and forth, back and forth. “She, um…just did. A minute ago.”

She pouts, scratching her head. “Weird. Usually when this happens it prolongs for at least ten minutes before it gets any better.” The green eyed girl sheepishly waves the group of paramedics away. A trail of sighs echo as they turn away. As soon as they’re gone, she gently shuts the door, then tippy toes towards the edge of the small bed. Neat brows furrow. “At least she’s feeling better, no?”

Brown eyes follow her gaze. “Yeah. At least.”

-

Lando ends up throwing—and according to him— “The World’s Coolest Jamboree”. You beg for him to call it anything but jamboree, but he’s too attached to it by the time he sends the last text invite, which so happens to be to the rookie driver. 

“Has anyone RSVPed?” you question over his shoulder. He’s in the middle of mixing some mysterious liquid, but by the looks of it, doesn’t look any good. You grimace. 

He lets out a bleh before dropping his utensils. “No one RSVPs these days. They either show up, or they don’t.” 

A slow nod. “So, you don’t know who’s coming?”

“Not a clue. But most likely everyone.”

You scoff. “How are you so sure?”

He gives you an ‘are you kidding me?’ type glare before sending a sly grin. “First of all, it’s my party. They’d be crazy to miss out. And second of all…it’s only the biggest, funnest, coolest jamboree!”

“Funnest is not a word.”

“And party-poopers aren’t welcomed.” You gasp, smacking his chest harshly. He lets out a snicker, picking up a bag of ice and spilling it into the glass bowl. “But I’ll make an exception. Just this once.”

“Just this once,” you mimic before dipping your pinky in. He instantly slaps your hand away. Smacking your lips, you let out a yelp at the bitter taste. “This tastes like ass. God—not even Daniel will drink this, and that guy drinks anything in his way. I’m surprised he hasn’t been accidentally roofied.”

Lando claps his hands with amusement. “God forbid. And please, pay your respect to Lando’s Best Worst Decision.” A beat. “™.” 

“™?” you deadpan. “What? Are you planning on adding a trademark to this sewage water?”

“It’s good, okay?” Mixing the clear liquid once more, he smiles fondly down at it. “And maybe. I’m seriously considering it.”

You sneer, already walking away.

He ends up being right. Not even an hour later, the party is in full swing. Sure, a couple drivers aren’t able to make it, but it’s still jammed packed. It's honestly a miracle to get through the Monaco flat. 

You’re still sober?

Laughing, you nod, raising your water up in the air like some toast. Daniel frowns. “Considering I have to make sure my number one client doesn’t make any bad choices tonight, then nope. Can’t have a sip of alcohol.” 

Brown eyes flutter slowly. “I’m sure there’s other beverage choices. Have you tried Lando’s Best Worst Decision?” He leans in, winking. “™.”

“Oh no. Don’t tell me you actually like it?” He shrugs and you shudder in disgust. “I’m sure I saw him add ten energy shots and God knows what else.”

“No wonder I feel kinda funky.” Your face drops. “Hey, if you pass out, can I crash tonight?”

“Daniel!” you groan, covering your face. “I swear, I’m going to spill that stupid drin—” Only, Daniel is gone. Craning your head, you circle the room. From where you stand, you’re able to see Carlos and Lando taking part in a heated round of pool, all while Charles sways back and forth, infamous red cup in hand.

Marching over to the kitchen island, you pick up the glass bowl and carry it over to the sink before tipping it over. You huff, hair fanning across your nose. 

“Stupid, stupid boys—”

“Hey.”

You shriek, dropping the bowl, and wincing at the sound of glass shattering. 

Oscar grimaces. “Shit. Sorry. Are you hurt?”

“No.” You sigh. “Lando’s gonna kill me.”

Grabbing the nearby broom, the Australian sweeps carefully while knitting his brows. “Why?”

“It’s a family heirloom.”

“A glass bowl?”

You giggle. “I wonder why too.”

Despite the blaring music, and constant chattering, the room feels rather silent. You fiddle with the hem of your dress, and that seems to catch his eye as it dawns on him that he hasn’t really seen you in anything other than your usual uniform. To be fair, you could say the same. He likes it. 

You clear your throat. “Halfway done. How do you feel?”

He sips on his water, jaw clicking before settling with a sharp tsk. “Good. I think I’m finally getting the hang of it. Anastasia even congratulated me the other day when I diverted a series of questions with ease.”

Impressed, you raise your brows. “Bravo. Wish that was the case with Lando. I swear, sometimes I think he does and says things to make me look bad on purpose.”

“He should stop,” he says with a goofy smile. “Does he not know how lucky he is to get to call you his assistant?”

You blush. “Best friend, actually. I’ve been promoted ever since I pretended to be his girlfriend last New Year's Eve.”

The brunette inches forward with curiosity. “Wish to clarify?”

You hop onto the island, fixing your dress and crossing your legs. “Don’t tell him that I told you any of this, but I secretly think he was embarrassed of not having a midnight’s kiss. Especially since his ex was there with her new boyfriend. Talk about the unexpected.”

His chest tightens. “You two, um…kissed, then?”

“Yes,” you confirm with a childlike grin, and for some reason, it makes him want to puke. “Oh God, I haven’t thought about this in forever!”

He pretends to find interest in the crowded room, but really, it all remains on you. “Was it any good?”

You blush this time and he swears he’s close to walking away. “Yes and no. I mean, it wasn’t bad, but it just didn’t feel right.”

He perks up then, floppy hair bouncing at the sudden speed. “Really?” He coughs, then fixes his watch, training his eyes towards the floor. “Erm, I mean, is that so?”

A nose scrunch. “It felt like kissing someone you’re not supposed to. Which I suppose is true. We’re better off as friends.” He relaxes. “Thinking about it, we might’ve gagged each other's mouths.” You grimace. “If that doesn't show our discomfort, then I don’t know what will.”

“Good to know.” Oscar rubs his arm, up and down, then steps closer to you. You blink. “Hey, I was meaning to ask—”

Strippers? I didn’t order any strippers. 

Hire, a male voice interjects. He means to say he didn’t—hire—any strippers. 

“Son of a…” You wince apologetically, to which he shrugs. Don’t worry. Go. Biting your lip, you nod, rushing to the living room, where Lando, Daniel, and a bunch of other randoms circle the almost nude girls with long legs. 

“I mean, I won’t turn you away, ladies,” the Brit mumbled, already wrapping his arms around their waists. They all giggle, inching closer until he’s a blushing mess. 

You snap your fingers, pointing towards the exit. “All of you need to leave.”

Is that your sister? the one with a cowboy hat whispers into his ear. He quickly shakes his head, narrowing his eyes at you like a deadly weapon. 

“No. That’s his girlfriend,” Daniel yodels, face pressed up against the couch, admiring the group of girls. “But they’re in an open relationship.”

“I’m not his girlfriend—”

“She’s not my girlfriend—”

Oscar’s jaw clenches, eyes focused on the entire commotion. The older Australian rolls his eyes. “Right. We don’t talk about it.”

“Would you stop trying to help?” you shoot back, sarcastically, and clap your hands as if you’re rounding up a new high school cheer. “I need you all out. You want money? Fine. He’ll give you money,” you declare, signaling towards Lando. 

“Hey,” he groans, instantly letting go and stepping closer to you. “They haven’t even done anything to earn it….”

Your eye twitches. “I swear to God—”

“Deal,” the redhead shoots out. “But we need a moment to come to an agreement. You know? On how much we want to ask for.”

“Perfect,” you chirp, rolling your heels. “Take out your wallet, Big Boy.”

“You used to be fun.”

“And you used to be terrified over a pair of tits when I first met you. Whatever happened?” Lando blushes profoundly before pushing you away. “Want them gone, Lando, gone!”

“Yes! Jesus Christ—let me deal with this.”

“I’m done,” you promise with your hands raised up in surrender. “But just remember what happened last time.” He frowns, cocking his head to the side. You wiggle your brows. “São Paulo.” 

Color drains his face before letting out an unhinged laugh and motioning you away. You giggle, heading back to where Oscar stands. 

“I see what you mean,” he announces. What? “How he can have a bit of a headache.” 

“See! I told you! Four years of this!” A dramatic yawn. “I’m tired.” 

A string of boo’s follow once the strippers prance out the door, waving all their money in the air. Specifically Daniel, who genuinely looks upset to see them go. Oscar leans down against the counter, the proximity between you becoming smaller. “You should get some rest, then.” But he selfishly doesn’t  mean it. He wants you to stay—to keep talking to him. 

You let out a snort, grabbing your sides. “I mean, I'm tired of being Lando’s assistant. It’s a full time job, y’know?”

“Oh.” He stands up straight again. “Right. Of course.”

You purse your lips, looking down to your shoes. “But that was actually quite thoughtful.”

She thinks I’m thoughtful, he internally swoons because that must be a good sign, right? Not everyone is thoughtful, but he is, and that must count for something. Gathering all the strength he has left—which is not much considering you blink up at him like some angel—he licks his pink lips. “Back to what I was going to say earlier before you left—”

“I wasn’t trying to step on him! I already said I was sorry!” you hear a familiar voice, instantly turning to find Anastasia kicking Daniel’s face back into place, well, since he now lays asleep on the floor. You curse beneath your breath, jumping off the island once again. 

“His head did a complete 360!” Yuki accuses, clearly panicked. “That's not normal, is it?”

“No, it is,” Pierre replies with a bored tone. “I’ve seen it happen before.”

Crouching down next to the curly haired driver, you jab his cheek before motioning Oscar and Anastasia closer. “Help me carry him to the guest room,” you instruct, already taking off your cardigan. 

The black haired girl is quick on her feet, grabbing the Australians right leg as you grab the left. Oscar, however, swallows hard at the amount of cleavage you’re suddenly displaying, but instantly snaps out of it when both you and Anastasia blink back at him. He picks up the Alpha Tauri driver’s upper body before puffing. 

You blush bright pink at the sight of his muscles pulsing against his t-shirt. “I-It’s just around the corner.” 

As soon as you make it into the room, you three carefully place Daniel onto the bed, to which he squirms before flipping over and snoring away. You motion a finger over your lips before pushing them both out. Gently closing the door behind you,you let out a breath of relief. 

Anastasia lets out a whistle. “Surprisingly not that heavy.”

Oscar scoffs. “Easy for you to say. I had to carry most of his weight.” 

She shrugs, hugging you hello and apologizing for being so late, and you’re quick to reassure her that it’s fine, though she missed the chance to see strippers give Lando a tough time. She sneers. “I didn’t even know there existed strippers in Monaco.” And then she’s off, clapping loudly at the sight of Lando giving out a round of jello shots. You sigh, rubbing your temples.

“I-I’m sorry. What were you going to say?”

He freezes. “Oh. Just that—” He panics. “Only that I like your shoes!”

You blink, deflating from within. But you try to cover it up with a soft smile. “Thanks, I guess?” Orbs flicker down toward your white Sambas. “Lando says they are overrated, but I like ‘em.”

He nods. “Yeah. I like them too.”

-

It happens one Friday afternoon—the decision. 

You’re in between races, you’re in between headaches, and you’re ready to self-implode. So, before any of that happens, you make your first decision. To go on a walk. 

It’s getting rather chilly these days, something you love, but also hate. You love it because there is a certain coziness that comes along with it, but you also hate it because you can’t always be cozy, so you’re left shivering. Much like now. But to be fair, this was your own choosing. 

The pounding that takes over your head lessens the longer you stroll, the longer you breathe actual fresh air. You don’t really think much, you mainly remain blank, but the sound of tires screeching rips you away. Squinting hard, you catch a glimpse of a lady with grocery bags flipping off the fellow driver, who shares nothing but an apologetic smile before driving off. 

“What happened? Do I have something on my face?”

Dusting your nose, then your cheek, you blush faintly. You instantly assume it’s the powdered donuts fault—the one you had gobbled up in a hurry during the drive back to the paddock. It was an early morning, and no one really made it on time when it came to early days, but you always did. And so did Oscar. So, a sleepy Zak gave you a wad of cash, and sent you two to the nearest donut shop. 

The Australian shakes his head, blinking straight ahead. “N-no, I was just checking my blind spot.”

That only makes you blush harder because in what crazy world would he be looking at you? 

A single nod. The car is quiet apart from the sound of his hands moving against the steering wheel, and the sound of the blinker clicking. It’s gloomy, too. You clear your throat. “I love it when it rains.” He hums, calmly, encouraging you to continue. “It just makes me happy.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” You purse your lips. “I sort of wish I were home. That way I can snuggle near the window and fall asleep to the sound of light drizzle.”

The brunette quirks a brow towards the road. “That sounds nice. Like…really nice.” A pause. “Why can’t you do that here, though?”

Here—here means where you are right now. Here means this place that’s not home. Here is not close to being enough, but he doesn’t figure that one out. You blink, dragging your finger along the pink box sitting on your lap. “Trust me, I’ve tried.” A small shrug. “But it’s just not the same, y’know? There’s always something missing.”

He doesn’t waste a moment in asking. “What do you think that is?”

Taken aback by his inquiry, you let yourself surmise for a second or two before licking your lips. “Maybe a pup. To keep me company”

He semi-frowns, cocking his head to send you a deadpan expression. “A dog?”

Now it’s your turn to frown, sending him a glare. “What were you thinking?”

The red light lets him take focus on you. “Dunno. A boyfriend, maybe?”

You’re sure you’re nearly as tomato red as the light staring at you both. “What? You instantly just assume I don't have one already?”

He freezes. “Well, I, um…t-that’s not what I meant—”

“Look, I know I’m not a guys’ typical ‘dream girl’, but sheesh I’m not that unlovable. At least, I hope not, but now you’re making me second guess. I mean, your opinion must indicate everyone sees me as some sort of lonely widow.”

Oscar shakes his head, adamantly. “I don’t see you as such.” A slow pause. “A lonely widow, I mean. I find your words to not be all that true, really. You’re nice. You’re persevering, You’re beautiful. And you have a good heart.” The light translates back to green, and you’re freakishly thankful, that way he can’t see you burn up. “You could easily be anyone's dream. Whoever makes you think otherwise is a phony.”

It’s getting harder not to laugh—most likely out of skeptic shock—but you refrain. He’s simply being kind with you, but that doesn’t stop you from nearly going into cardiac arrest. His words should have been labeled with a warning. 

“Guess this world is filled with lots of phonies.”

He scoffs. “There shouldn’t be. Not when it comes to a girl like you.”

Your breath catches. “Os—”

All of a sudden, the car comes to a harsh stop, sending you flying, but not the Australian, who remains sitting up straight. An older man flips him off before riding off on his bike. You both breath hard, turning to face each other. 

“Are you okay?” he questions, voice laced with worry. 

You nod, slightly dazed. “I, um—yeah. Are you?”

A nod. “I didn’t even see where he came from.”

A weak laugh finally erupts. “Blame it on the poor innocent man— clever.”

Brown eyes soften. They flicker from your orbs back to your pouty lips. He’s only checking if you’re okay, of course. You send him a reassuring bow and he releases a heavy breath. 

“Guess I was too focused on my blind spot, once again.”

The next decision comes when you opt in to join your neighbor, Mr. Lennon, for a cup of tea after he finds you shivering. By that time, it’s raining hard, you're soaking wet, and it only makes sense to accept his kind offer. 

“Mint. To hopefully push back any upcoming cold. God, what were you thinking?”

You let out a laugh. “Not much. That’s why I was aimlessly roaming.”

“What about now?”

You halt, mug raised up to your chapped lips. “What about now?”

He smiles, softly, mixing his own tea with a heavy spoon of honey. “Did the walk help? Were you able to get the wheels rolling?”

Now you giggle loudly. “That’s not very nice! The wheels are working just fine, thank you very much.”

The light scent of pine trees enter the room as soon as he stands up to open his window, the sound of soft rain singing to you as some much needed therapy. “So? What were you pondering about out there?”

“I wasn’t pondering.”

“Walking alone in the middle of a thunderstorm?” A sore laugh. “Been there. Done that. There’s always something on someone’s mind when that happens. Which isn’t often, or usual, so that must mean you’re really stuck up on something.”

“Or someone,” you mumble beneath your breath. His brows dart up, and you sheepishly settle the mug down. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

You blink. You don’t really talk about him out loud. Not with Lando. Not with Anastasia. Not even with your own reflection. Everything has always remained with you. A place you knew to be safe because you made it safe. But Mr. Lennon’s eyes prove to you that he’s lived enough lives—enough scenarios—to maybe understand. Even just a fraction. He watches you visibly gulp. And he knows that look. The confusion, the yearning. 

“I’m in love with this boy.”

He hums, leaning back against his wooden chair. “There’s always a boy.”

You look down. “He’s a friend of mine, which makes everything much worse because I can’t ruin that. But for the first time in all my years of living…” Round, glossy eyes stare back at him with a hopeless expression. “I really—really—want to.”

He’s attentive, he listens like some frozen statue, and maybe that’s what fuels your courage to continue speaking. “My entire life, I’ve had crushes, sure, but I’ve never loved someone. Not seriously. So, of course I’m caught off guard when I do feel that for someone who I’m not even in a relationship with.” A playful snort. “God, I feel so stupid.”

The silence that lingers is comforting. Your nerves flow away with the rain, and you feel at peace. Quietly, he clears his throat. “Can I tell you a story?”

A soft sigh. “I’m all ears.”

Gray brows furrow as if trying to recover a distant memory. “I once loved a boy, too.” Your eyes widen. Sure, you knew he was never married, never even had a kid, but you never thought of any reason as to why not. He nods, faintly. “Not many know, and not because I’m ashamed, not by any means…” A single beat. “But because real, sincere feelings are easier to ignore. Because who wants to deal with reality, right? Who wants to confess and be turned away like some dog at your door?”

Exactly, you think, nodding along. “Everyone is always going to be scared of something, but avoidant people like us are terrified about the what-ifs.” He sends a wink. “And I’m living proof that being that way won’t get you nowhere. And you'll realize sooner or later in life that you’d rather be nowhere with someone you love, than nowhere…” His eyes circle the nearly empty kitchen, despite living there for the past twenty years. “...all alone.”

Your chin wobbles. “You know you have me, right? I’m always next door.” A wet laugh follows. “Anyways, I might even join you in this lonely life, eh? Doesn’t sound half bad if I’m doing it with you.”

Tender eyes close slowly before blinking back at you. “No. I want you to be the complete opposite from me. Be different. Tell him how you feel. Even if it costs you a broken heart, tell him. Because I’m telling you right now that a broken heart is always better than the constant desire that will always follow you like the devil.”

A warm droplet rolls down your cheek as you sheepishly laugh, but he doesn’t judge. He never has. Instead, ever the true gentleman, he hands you his handkerchief. “Did you ever get the chance to tell him that you…”

His wrinkles imprint more vividly as he breathes out. “I did, but it didn’t really make the difference I had hoped for. He was already married to someone else.”

A loud sob escapes. “That’s not f-fair. You deserve to be happy with the man you love.”

“I do. But you know what?” You rub the tears away, eyes connecting. “I’ve made peace with the consequences of my own actions.”

By now the rain has died down, and so have you. With one last smile, Mr. Cleve gives your cold hand a soft squeeze.   

“Learn from my mistakes, won’t you?”

-

That same night, as you cried over a bottle of wine, you made your third and final decision. And you would execute it all the next time you saw him, no matter the outcome. 

But now that you spoke about it once to someone, you felt almost invincible. Which is why you called Lando. 

You what? 

A wince. “You can’t tell him, okay? I’m legitimately trusting you with this!” He opens his mouth, but you’re quick to signal him off. “Including Ana.”

“Wow. I thought she’d know.” You shrug because you don’t really have an explanation for not having had confided in her, but you know deep down that you’re not really into playing a game of Cupid, and that’s exactly what she'd turn this into. The Brit nods, sympathetically. “Alright. I won’t tell a single soul.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you going to tell him how you feel?”

His question comes out hesitant—like he’s afraid of scaring you away from the possibility—but it doesn’t. Instead, you nod, to which he’s extra surprised because you’ve never been the kind to. “That’s the main reason I told you any of this. Because I wanted to ask you if you knew if he has a girlfriend or not? Someone he’s trying to pursue? I’d hate to…intervene.”

Lando let’s put a soft smile, dimples imprinting neatly onto his face. “I mean, he’s particularly private—you know him—but I’ve never heard him mention having a girl. It doesn’t seem like he does. Go for it. What do you have to lose?”

“My dignity? A good friend?”

Silently, he grimaces because even he can see how much this all means to you—how much you’re scared. So, to boost up your confidence—which is something he definitely doesn’t lack—he flashes a loopy grin. “He probably likes you, anyways.”

You come to a fast halt. Suddenly, painting your nails isn’t your top priority. “Really? You think so?” He nods, and you can’t help but smile back. “What’d he say?”

“Well, as I already stated before, he keeps his things locked up pretty well. But I do recall one time…” He closes his eyes harshly. Then, he snaps his fingers loudly. “I believe in Hungary. He was on a high. And we shared a bottle of champagne to celebrate. So, he sort of let loose. Like insanely loose.”

“And?” you push, eagerly trying to get whatever he has stuck in his throat out of him. The green eyed boy snickers. 

“He wasn’t very clear, but he did say he had a crush on a girl. Someone he really wanted to get to know. But that  things were a little bit difficult.” You nod, urging him to continue. “I asked why, and he said it was because she had a good heart, or something of that sort? Good intentions? Can’t remember—and that he didn’t want to ruin it.”

Your breath hitches.

And you have a good heart. You could easily be anyone’s dream. 

-

Ironically, you’re huddled in Lando’s flat once again when it happens. Well. Almost happens. It’s filled with a few McLaren members because he insisted on hosting a nice brunch. And it was. Nice, you mean. 

“Pretty,” Anastasia says, sending a soft smack towards your ass. You yelp, swatting her hand away, and pulling your skirt downward. She snickers. “You should tie your hair up more often. Let’s everyone admire such an angel face.”

“Stop it,” you hiss, but can’t hide the pink flush. “But thank you.” 

She grins, eyes crinkling. Black hair sways as she moves to the beat of the music, nursing her drink. “Nice to have a break…”

“Definitely.”

At some point, she slithers away, leaving you all alone on the balcony. Which was quite lonesome until he came along. Oscar scrunched his nose, meekly. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright. Don’t own this place, do I?”

He lets off a raw chuckle. Deeper than when you first met him, and you come to the realization that a lot about him has changed. His hair is longer, his neck is thicker, and his shoulders are wider. But his smile and eyes remain the same. Boyish.

“Thinking?”

You sigh, admiring the ocean set out right in front of you. “Thinking, yes. A lot these days.”

And if he’s patient enough, he’d notice the way your hands shake. Tiny vibrates, but still.. He’d notice the way you bite down on your lip, brushing it along the way. He’d notice the way you blink feverishly, like even the wind hurts. 

And he is. He is a patient person. So, he does notice. 

“Do you know what song this is?”

Brows furrow, deep in thought. And he’s quick to note that the ticks you had are coming to an easy halt. Mentally, though, you’re cursing yourself out because you do know. You do know the song that flows nicely into your ears, but simply having him next to you is what’s making you forget. How dare me have that kind of power over you?

“I know it,” you start. “But I can’t seem to remember right now...”

The brunette gently nods his head along to the beat. His eyes close, and his hair delicately tussles, and suddenly he’s the only thing you see. “Sex,” he says. You blush, ripping your gaze away before he catches you in the act. Oscar laughs. “It’s Sex by The 1975. How could I forget?”

“Oh yeah.”

The guitar screeches when the volume somehow gets louder, despite not being inside. “Would have killed me not to get it right. My sister listens to it all the time.”

Plump lips pressed together. “You have a sister?” But you know the answer to that question, of course you do. You’re a girl. You’ve done your research, even when you pinched yourself not to. 

He nods. “Three, actually. Talk about a headache, am I right?”

And it’s almost nostalgic—your laugh. Like it might be one he heard in his past life, but in his current one, can't remember. But it’s okay if he doesn’t because at least he knows he can learn it. And he has. 

“You look really pretty when you laugh that way. Insanely so.”

You can’t seem to register his words. The way they come off as soft and ginger as they could possibly get. As if he really means it. And for the first time since your first interaction with him almost two years ago—you sort of believe he might. 

“You’re just saying that?” you question as some test, does eyes challenging him into finally spitting out the truth. The same truth you carry. He shakes his head, taking a step closer.

“I mean it.” 

Like a sudden magnet, you two are hesitantly connecting closer and closer together before either of you could stop it. Not that either of you would. The Australian towers over you, almost caging you like some endangered species he’s afraid of slipping away and going extinct. 

You swallow, lashes fluttering, and he smiles at the sight—melts. You’ve always been reserved. Quiet. Shy. And so has he, so he can’t really judge you, but he’s willing to be different—just once in his life—to get what he’s been wanting for a long time now. 

His eyes follow your lips. Admires how plump they are. How they’re the perfect shade of pink. So, when he leans in and you don’t pull away? He thinks he might explode with the need to kiss you. One time. If he’s lucky, just—once. 

“You’ve always been my dre—”

“There you two are!” Anastasia cheers, zigzagging to you both as an apologetic Lando follows right after. By now, Oscar has jumped far away from you, and you’re left feeling empty and lost, blinking at an alarming rate. “We’ve been looking all over!” A hiccup. “What were you doing?” Your lips remain open but Oscar is the first to let out an awkward cough.

“We were just talking about…logistics!” He turns to you, sparing you a pleading look. “W-weren’t we?”

You finally come to, nodding slowly, eyes buzzing between the two McLaren drivers and your best friend, who wobbles from left to right. “Yeah, I….we—logistics, and whatnot.” A beat. “Doesn’t matter.”

He flinches, avoiding your doleful stare. Oscar forces such a bright smile—the kind that can’t go unnoticed by even the biggest idiot on earth—and nods in agreement. “She’s right. It doesn’t matter.”

Lando analyzes you, then his teammate, and wishes he had done more to keep Anastasia from barging in. But really, was this some sign? Maybe you were some delusional little girl who truly believed she had a chance with the boy next door. The one everyone wants, but only one will get to have.

And let’s face it. 

It was never going to be you.

-

You’d make an excellent detective in your next life, you’re sure of it. But for now, you’re just some brokenhearted assistant who mourns the death of her what-ifs. Someone who is really good at picking up on clues. 

It’s right before Christmas—right before Anastasia’s birthday party—and you’re curling your hair quite poorly. You daze off every now and then, you apply mascara almost zombie-like, and you’re dreading even showing up. Have you been avoiding him? Yes. Yes, you have. Have you been good at it? Only the best, if we’re being truthful here. And were you ready to face him without feeling the need to bolt? 

Nope. Not in this lifetime nor the next.

But still, you force yourself to finish getting ready because this isn’t about you. This isn’t about him. It’s about being there for your friend. 

Mindlessly, on the drive there, pouting in the back of the yellow cab, you click onto Instagram and the first thing you do is smile at the birthday post Anastasia had posted not even five minutes ago. You scroll, smile wider, and then come to a harsh pause. The kind that makes your throat close up. The kind that makes you stop breathing. 

The kind that lets you know—

You’ve lost.

His arms are tied around her waist, his head his nuzzles between her neck, but you can still tell it’s him. His hazel hair can’t go unnoticed. Maybe to someone else, but not you. 

Then, as if all odds are against you, your feed refreshes and you’re left far more dumbfounded. 

She appears in most of his pictures because why not? It’s his girlfriend's birthday, it goes as expected. Museum dates. Pictures of them with each other's families. And you feel greedy like never before because—why couldn't that be you? 

Venmo or cash? You look up, making eye contact with your taxi driver who looks as tired as you are. You press your lips together into a fine line. Digging into your purse, you grab all that you have and jump out of the cab. 

It’s chilly out and the lights are beautifully hung, but it doesn’t do you any good. You just want to go home. Curl up in bed and die. Dig a hole—self-suffocate—who cares. And you’re ready to turn around, go back and apologize to Mr. Lennon for not doing better. You really thought you had it in you, but it just wasn’t enough. 

But then, the door swings open and Pierre curls a brow. Kika waves from behind “He thought you were some serial killer. He’s been watching too much Dateline.” The brunette scurries over, throwing her arms around you and takes a step back. “Come in before you freeze to death.”

But even that didn’t sound too bad. You sheepishly thank her, following the couple back in. A string of jazz cradles the warm lit living room and the scent of apple pie makes you inhale sharply. A giggle stirs up behind you. Anastasia grins.

“You’re here!”

All of a sudden, you hate her smile. You hate her laugh. You hate her entirely. But you also don’t. You can’t hate her smile. You can’t hate her laugh. You can’t hate her entirely. Because even though you feel like she owes you loyalty, that’s not really true. She had zero idea about your feelings towards Oscar and she won. Fair and square. That doesn’t mean you had to like it.

“Happy birthday, Annie.” Hugging her, you giggle against her ear when she jumps up and down, nearly knocking you two over. “For you. From me.”

She wiggles her neat brows, green eyes buzzing with suspicion. “Is it a vibrator again?”

You blush. “No. Even better.”

“Wow! Even better?” She rips the small bag open, eyes widened double in their size. “Oh my God, you got me the Mary Jane’s I wanted?”

“Well, you kept bugging me, and so I thought—”

“D'accord, je comprends. I love them, thank you.” Grabbing your wrist, she tugged you into the empty hallway, and you can already feel her buzzing with excitement. Your stomach churns. “I wanted to tell you as soon as he asked me out—I really did—but he insisted on keeping it between us two for a while, and I told him no, I had to tell you, but then I understood that maybe it was for the best, and I’ve always liked him—”

Every word makes you feel smaller and smaller because the light in her eyes gives it all away. She, too—much like you—is in love with Oscar Piastri. You shake your head, sharing a light laugh. “I totally get it. There’s no need to explain.” 

The green eyed girl visibly relaxes, shoulders rolling back. “I knew you’d understand. Oscar was right—you have a good heart.”

Ana, Yuki just spilled wine on your coach, Daniel rattles from the other side of the room, pointing accusingly towards his teammate who rubs the cushion with his Dior sweatshirt. She sighs. Be right back!

At that moment, you don’t care if you wind up with a deadly case of hypothermia, you simply walk out of the warm house.

“What are you doing? You’re going to get sick.”

Screwing your eyes shut seems to be the only answer to help your mending heart into not breaking completely. And fuck him—fuck him for sounding so goddamn caring. 

You turn with a soft smile, shrugging nonchalantly. “Won’t really make a difference, I already feel sick.” You cough for emphasis. “See?” Oscar rolls his eyes, ignoring the poor excuse, and hands you his puffer jacket. You shake your head. Take it. “No.” He frowns. Why not? Rocks crunch with every step he takes. “It wouldn’t be right.”

“What? Borrowing a jacket from a friend?”

“Borrowing my best friend's boyfriend’s jacket.”

His stomach drops, rolling with a wave of anxiety as he tries to not show his uncomfort. “She told you?”

Your teeth grind harder. “That, and you both posted about a thousand pictures together. Wasn’t that difficult to understand what was going on.” A sore laugh. “I’m happy for you two, though. Really. I am.”

“You are?”

Sending a nasty glare that you tried to keep in for the life in you, you turn over to face him, nose rosy. “Yes. Over the fucking moon.”

He flinches. “Listen, about that day at Lando’s house. I-I-I was caught up in the moment. I shouldn’t have said what I said, o-or tried to kiss you—”

“You’re a phony, you know that, right?”

Another flinch. “I’m trying to apologize to you. I’m sorry. I feel bad, okay?”

Tears well up inside your eyes. Somewhere deep inside your chest, you feel a harsh sting, and still that doesn’t compare to his pity. You let out a scoff, crossing your arms. “You feel bad, for what? For messing with my emotions, or for getting with my best friend?” You poke his chest hard, but he remains as still as a brick wall, a pained expression mapped out. “Which one is it?”

“For all of it!” He grabs your face, making you freeze under his fire-like touch. “I loved you—God—I loved every inch of you. Your humor, your heart, your jokes that never land, the awkward giggles that follow afterward—everything. There was not a single thing you could do that could have pushed me away.”

“Then what happened?” you whisper, eyes tracing his pink lips, trying to enjoy his hands. They’re calloused, sure, but they’re by far the closest thing you’ve had, so nothing else matters. His breath hitches, soft eyes looking down at you in complete defeat. You grimace. “Why was I not enough for you to try?”

His hands drop. Brown locks shakes as he rubs his eyes, like this is all some part of a fever dream. Maybe it was. The Australian frowns. “I could ask you the same thing.”

It’s a slap in the face, and it burns like never before because you know he’s right. “I wanted to tell you!” A shaky breath. “I was going to tell you.”

Leaves rustle. “You were?”

“Yes,” you confess, nodding adamantly. “That day at Lando’s place—I wanted to tell you.”

The McLaren driver bites his tongue hard, blinking rapidly. “W-what would you have said?”

“That I loved you too.”

He can’t hide his pain just by hearing those words. He scrunches his nose. He nods robotically. And he keeps his eyes trained towards the ground, like he’s in the middle of solving a puzzle. 

“I really did like you. From the moment we met.” Finally, he looks up, round eyes searching for any sign of intimacy. If there’s any left—any you still save for him. “Do you remember the day we first met?”

“A little bit. Yeah.”

A second ticks by. “I do. Remember it all, I mean. Think back to it quite often.” He lets out a boyish grin, crinkles forming, making your heart flutter. “You took my breath away.” 

And as if humanly possible, despite the icy air, your cheekbones flush harder as you bite back a giddy smile. “You barely even noticed me—”

“You wore a white ribbon. Hair half up, half down. Denim overalls with your initials sewn onto them. Emerald earrings.” You blink, clearly taken aback by his polished memory. His eyes soften. “I’ll always notice you.”

-

Anastasia pecks the Australians cheek, giggling after each one. Oscar smiles, letting out a sheepish laugh. From the corner, seated next to Lando, you sigh sadly. The Brit bumps his shoulder up against yours. What’s wrong? But you must not have heard him, or you ignore him, but he, too, has eyes. 

“I swear I didn’t know a thing about them,” he whispers. “If I had, I would have warned you, you know that—”

“Lando,” you cut him off, voice weak and mellow. “It’s okay, it’s not your fault.”

He frowns. “I know that, but—”

“It’s not your fault,” you repeat, this time more firm. He swallows, nodding hesitantly. With a soft laugh, you poke his ribs and he’s quick to let out a yelp. “Just want to forget, you know?”

Lando hums. “Understood.”

Anastasia clinks her spoon against her mug. The one you each painted differently in that one pottery class years ago. She grins. “I’m so glad all of you could make it, really, it means a lot.” Her eyes crinkle sweetly towards Oscar who traces shapes down her back. She blushes for him—the same way you do. “I feel like…I finally have everything I ever wanted.”

A string of oohh's echo the room, whistles ringing. She laughs, head falling back, and he lets out a single chuckle, rosy cheeks making everyone grow louder. Meanwhile, you stay silent, focusing on Lando’s shoes. The Brit winces, rubbing your shoulder awkwardly. 

Daniel yodels, raising his beer. “Well, in that case, I feel like I do too!” He hiccups, making Pierre and Yuki snicker. “A hot girlfriend, good ‘ol friends, and a nice pair of abs.”

“They are nice,” Lily mumbles, earning her a soft smack from Alex who rolls his eyes. 

Carlos cackles. “Me next—um, okay. A good team, my girlfriend, and…and—my hair.”

“Narcissist,” Lando whispers, trying to get a good laugh out of you. And it works. You giggle, muffling the sound with the back of your hand. Oscar perks up, orbs floating over to where you and the Brit whisper to one another, smiles only growing wider. His jaw clenches. Either way, you tune out all the constant chatter after hearing how Pierre was grateful for having a massive cock. 

“I really hope nothing changes between us.”

You laugh. “I think it might be a bit too late for that.”

The Australian scratches his shoes against the wet pavement. He agrees. He won’t admit it, but he agrees. Everything has changed. Timidly, he glances over at you, biting the inside of his cheek. His gaze burns—just like always—and you turn to face him.

By now your tears have dried, but your heartbreak still continues. Something deep inside tells you that it’ll continue for as long as you live. You despise yourself for letting any of this get out of hand. For letting your fear of rejection play a big part in losing him. He smiles.

“I love you, okay?”

You smile. “I love you, too.”

Your voice sounds sweet—just like honey. And if it’s a lie, just to make him feel better, then he’s a grateful bloke. He might not have your heart—not completely—and he might not have your hand in his, but he’s fine with that. Because he’s heard all he’s needed to hear. And he can live at peace.

Oscar grins, leaning down to kiss your cheek. It’s tender, just the way you pictured it. You smell like flowers, just like he had dreamt. He pulls away. “You can always talk to me. Whenever. I’ll always be there for you.”

“Thank you. But I won’t bother you too much.” His brows furrow, mouth opening to protest before you wave him off with a tired smile. “Don’t want to vent to you about…well—you.”

“What about you?” Anastasia squeals, making your jump in place. 

“What about me?” 

She rolls her eyes, theatrically. Oscar remains as still as a statue, enjoying the moment to admire you without having to explain why—all eyes were on you, after all. “Have you ever gotten everything you ever wanted?”

Wistfully, your eyes look up, connecting with the ones you know so well. You admire his boyish features one last time before looking down onto your lap and then focusing on Anastasia.

“No. But I once got very close.”

taglist: @blueflorals @starmanv @coolio2195 @lovrsm @weekendlusting@chanshintien @brune77e @myownwritings @timmychalametsstuff @milasexutoire@alesainz @c-losur3 @darleneslane @togazzo @urfavnoirette @namgification @lpab @d3kstar @anniee-mr @nebarious @notkaryna

[moviestarmartini]

yellow flowers. — jude bellingham x gf!reader

él sabía, ella sabía y se olvidaron de sus flores amarillas.

summary: how can your relationship recover from such a serious argument the night before?

wc: 975

warnings: angst, not that much dialogue, like three words in spanish, established long-term relationship.

A/N: WHAAAAT?? GIGI POSTING TWICE IN A DAY??? its more likely than you think! thank las flores amarillas hehe.

now playing... flores amarillas from floricienta

The fight was stupid, really. 

You both had to admit it was. Even then, that doesn’t take away the fact it snowballed into issues each of you held back for what seemed ages, and only ended up with Jude slamming the door on the way out of your apartment. 

After hours of crying, your own exhaustion from the ordeal lulled you to sleep. When you rose up in the morning, neither your mind nor your body prepared for the fact it was a Saturday. 

Nor the fact everyone and their mothers were receiving yellow flowers, something you’d always craved but were always just another bystander. 

If you listened to that song again you might just rip your hair off. 

You had a whole day planned with Jude after the game, he wanted to do something special, but the fact you couldn’t hold back your jealousy the night before was more than enough to dampen the idea, whatever it was. 

For a second, you tried to put things on the positive side. A self-care day. In theory it was wonderful, but the second you sat alone in the bubbly bathtub, you broke down in tears. 

You’d been together for years. You changed your whole life around him, learning German to go to school in the same country and planning your masters in Spanish. Maybe that was part of the reason he called you spineless; you adapted to other’s needs and perspectives easier. His words bounced around your head, each reminder taunting you more. 

To top it all off, Spotify seemed to have a vendetta against you, your daylist was insanely depressing. 

“Is this because he plays for Real Madrid?!” You spoke out into the world, growing frustrated with your situation. 

That did spark an idea in your brain; or more of a reminder. 

Jude had a game today. And you weren’t going to be there to watch him. That just made you jump out of the bath, get changed into decent clothes and leave the house for once to watch him at your best friend’s house upon her request, miserably so even when the team got their footing back up— knowing you should be in the stands cheering him on. But alas, you weren’t.

And you wondered if you would ever be again. 

The moment he fell clutching his shoulder, your heart stopped. Tears welled in your eyes but you avoided letting them escape, remembering the long hours of work and recovery, the utter joy you felt when he informed both you and the team he was comfortable playing without the big chunky brace again. All that, and it crumbled down right before your eyes, like your relationship. 

Still, you didn’t hesitate on reaching for your phone, not finding any elation on the team’s victory. 

[ I know you don’t want to see or hear from me ] 

[ But how’s your shoulder? I’m seriously concerned ] 

You knew he wasn’t going to reply right away, and when your companion found out who you’d texted, she ripped the phone out of your hands and put it away for the reminder of your evening laced with white wine and take out sushi. 

“Thank you for releasing me, master.” You joked by the time she gave you the mobile back, swallowing hard upon seeing Jude hadn’t replied. 

He hadn’t even read it. 

Now you were actually panicking, swallowing down the tears in the Uber and wishing the small elevator could go fast enough that you didn’t break down somewhere that wasn’t in the comfort of your home. 

You were overwhelmed enough that you didn’t even take into account your door was unlocked when you clearly left it locked, nor the warm light coming from the tiny space under the doorframe. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Were the first words you registered before your eyes caught the indoor prairie your boyfriend had installed in your living room in the shape of yellow daisies. 

Your eyes trailed the hundreds of petals before your eyes finally fell on him, scanning from his toes up to the apologetic expression he was carrying. Now it all made sense; your friend insisted on getting you out of the house for this. He didn’t reply because of this. 

Though your heart was running at a whopping speed of thirty miles per second, your feet took you painfully slow— cautiously— towards him. You were still marveled, carefully watching where your sneakers landed to avoid stepping on the beautiful work he’d planned for you. 

“Perdón,” Jude repeated, as if the words in Spanish meant so much more than the English language. He opened his mouth for what seemed to be a rant, but the way you squeezed the life out of him with a desperate hug left him speechless, followed by your hugs. 

“I thought you— you were going to dump me and I would have to move back home and— and I can’t imagine that because I love you so much and that’s why I was scared!” You babbled between hiccups, trying to calm yourself down before his gentle hands cupping your face did the job spectacularly. 

“I would be such a fuckin’ idiot to do that.” He couldn’t help but let out a laugh, not at you nor your claims, but at how ridiculous he had been. 

“Te perdono,” You sniffled, your bottom lip still puckered up ever so slightly. 

“But what’s all this?” You turned to look at the scene, something straight out of a Van Gogh painting. 

“You thought I forgot with the thousand TikToks you sent me on this day?” He leaned in to kiss your forehead before pulling you into another warm hug. 

“I also watch Gilmore Girls whenever you do. Whoops.” 

Your laugh echoed as you snuggled closer to him in your upright position, being extremely thankful the last sentence of the song wasn’t your reality.

A/N: if y'all seriously thought it wasn't going to have a happy ending you clearly don't know me well enough rip

[jo-speaks]

good graces ft. quinn hughes

in which…

quinn hughes realizes you'll be okay, with or without him.

warnings: MDNI. brief smut (again, it's like a paragraph), mature language, mentions of cheating, and i think that's all.

track three in short n' sweet (hughes brothers version) series!

When I love you, I'm sweet like an angel

Drawin' hearts 'round our names

And dreamin' of writing vows, rockin' cradles

“What’re you doing?” Quinn asked, wrapping his arms behind you as you shut the oven door, leaving the sweet treat you made to bake.

You took off your oven mitt before sighing and leaning back into his hold. “Baking cookies. You said you wanted some this morning, right?

He let out a soft laugh, “Yeah. How did you hear that though?”

“It’s not like you’re quiet when you’re on the phone with Conor.”

Quinn rolled his eyes playfully, dismissing your comment about how comfortable he was when talking to his teammate. He set one of his hands to lean back against the kitchen island where he felt a piece of paper under his palm. He furrowed his eyebrows, creasing the sheet slightly to pick it up. 

After a quick examination, he realized it was the recipe you had written down for the cookies. In the top corner of it, he saw his initials next to yours, enclosed in a heart. Quinn felt a warm feeling in his chest knowing you had done that, not caring if he saw it or not.

He held the paper in front of your face, which you had buried in the crease of his right elbow. “What’s this?”

You traced your eyes over the paper, “The recipe for the cookies? Don’t tell me you can’t read all of a sudden.” He gave you a thin-lipped look before tapping his finger over the childish drawing causing your eyebrows to lift in realization. “Oh, that. Got bored, thought it was cute. Something we could show the kids.”

Now it was his eyebrows that rose, “Kids? Like our kids?”

“Yeah, two of them. One of each. We can have them after our billion-dollar wedding.” You stated that like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Quinn knew you weren’t entirely serious. The two of you had this conversation a few months ago and he knew you wanted him to focus on his hockey career while you focused on your career. You both agreed you didn’t want to rush into anything until you were settled. And since Vancouver had been his home for 6 years and yours for 5 of those when you decided to move in with him, maybe it was time to start putting down those roots together.

Don't mistake my nice for naive

“Y/N, please. You’re being ridiculous. You were the one who told me to come in the first place!” Quinn called out to you as you walked away from him.

You stopped and turned back to face him, “Because I thought you’d have fun celebrating with your team here! Not flirt with the bartender the whole night!”

He rolled his eyes, setting you off even more. “I wasn’t flirting with her! I was getting Brock his drink!”

“Whatever, Quinn. I’m going home.” You sighed, not wanting to continue arguing with him in front of a bunch of people.

“I wasn’t flirting.” He mumbled, defeated.

You almost felt bad for reacting the way you did, but you knew him. The half smile and constant nodding all while keeping his eyes on her lips as they moved. 

You weren’t stupid.

I don't waste a second, I know lots of guys

You do somethin' suspect, this cute ass bye-bye

Like, ooh

Baby, you say you really like it being mine?

So let me give you some advice

After the whole bar argument, you decided to repay the favour a few days later when you had gone out to that same bar with your girlfriends. The same night you knew the Canucks would be celebrating their victory there. You watched the door attentively before a tap on your shoulder caught your attention.

“Y/N, this is Josh. He thought you were cute!” Was the only thing your friend said before walking away. The stumbling in her steps was the only thing you needed to explain the situation. 

Josh rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he placed his drink down on the bar and took the seat next to you. He cleared his throat, “Hey. Pretty interesting friend you have there.”

You snorted, “Tell me about it. You should see her sober, she’s still the same way.”

He laughed, “So, what’s a pretty girl like you doing sitting alone?”

Before you could answer, you heard the bar erupt in whistles and clapping. You didn’t even have to turn your head to know who had walked in. Josh glanced over your shoulder, getting a view of the team himself. His focus came back to you when you tilted your head to interrupt his view. 

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine. But to answer your question, I’m just here because I’m pissed at my boyfriend.”

You noticed his face drop before returning to the way it was before, “No way. I’m here because I’m pissed at my girlfriend!”

Your eyes widened at his confession, letting out a small chuckle. “Yikes, you’re an asshole.”

“Yeah?” He propped his arm on the bar, “How are you not?”

“Well for starters, I’m not approaching anyone. Second, my boyfriend just got here, so he knows where I am. And it doesn’t take a genius to know that your girlfriend has no idea where you are.” You answered, seeing the team take a seat at the tables next to where you were sitting.

As Josh sat in front of you, stunned at your words, you caught your boyfriend's eyes. He took a double take, not realizing it was you the first time. You looked away, bringing your attention back to the man in front of you as Quinn kept his on you.

“Who’s your boyfriend?” Josh asked.

You smirked slightly, “Quinn Hughes.

Josh’s eyes widened, “Bullshit.”

Shrugging your shoulders, you placed a hand on his shoulder, pulling him closer so you could talk in his ear and look over it to lock eyes with Quinn. “Don’t believe me? You’ll see who walks over to you when I leave.”

You backed up and got off your stool, heading to the bathroom as you kept eye contact with your boyfriend as you passed him. After you did, you heard him get up, his footsteps going the opposite way from where you were heading.

~

“What the fuck was that,” Quinn grumbled as he got into his car.

You shrugged your shoulders, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Quinn scoffed, “This is fucking gold, Y/N. You were all over my ass for doing the same shit on Tuesday, but when you do it’s all good.”

“Yeah, no. See, the difference between what I did tonight and what you did earlier this week is that I actually wasn’t flirting, I just wanted you to see what it was like to feel how I did when I saw you actually flirting with someone else.” You retorted, knowing how ridiculous the words coming out of your mouth sounded to him.

Yet on some level, Quinn knew you were right. He sighed before reaching over the center console to take hold of your hand. 

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t sober, but I still knew what I was doing. I don’t want to lose you over this, so please tell me what I can do to make it up to you.” He whispered.

You turned to look at him, “You like being my boyfriend?”

He nodded.

“Then don’t lie to me.”

Boy, it's not that complicated

You should stay in my good graces

Or I'll switch it up like that so fast

'Cause no one's more amazin'

At turnin' lovin' into hatred x2

I won't give a fuck about you x3

That was cool

I won't give a fuck about you (Oh) x3

Yeah

“She’s the last person I’d want to piss off,” Jack told his brother over the phone as Quinn finished up telling him the whole bar fiasco the two of you had gone through a month ago. 

“Tell me about it. I’m not just saying this because she’s my girlfriend, but she’s literally always right. It’s getting scary.” Quinn confessed, pulling his car into the parking garage of the apartment complex.

Jack sighed, “Well, shit. Good luck with that, bro. Lukey’s calling you later, I gotta go.” 

Quinn said goodbye to his brother, hanging up the phone as he stepped out of his car, grabbing the bouquet of flowers he had gotten you for no reason. After the whole situation, he knew he couldn’t only make it up with verbal apologies. So he went old-school, settling for getting you flowers whenever he felt like they were needed. 

He stepped into the elevator, rocking back and forth on his heels as he reached your floor, walking out the second the doors opened. 

As he unlocked the front door of your shared apartment, he could hear you talking in the kitchen. 

“Yeah, I don’t know. I didn’t want to forgive him, but he’s making up for it.” You said to whoever you were talking to over the phone. 

Quinn stepped in quietly, your back still turned and your AirPods in your ears as you cooked dinner for the two of you. Still unbeknownst to you, Quinn walked to the hallway across from the kitchen, wanting to hear your conversation. 

Was it wrong to eavesdrop on you? Yes. Did Quinn know this? Also yes. Did he care? Not really. 

You let out a sigh, “Listen. He knows better than to do that to me. He also knows that I’m the last person he wants to fuck with because I can switch up incredibly fast. If he wants to cheat on me, he can go right ahead. But he knows damn well I’ll be out replacing him that same night.”

His face dropped. He knew that you were telling the truth, which is what scared him straight. 

“I don’t give a fuck if he wants to go out with Bella Hadid. If he does that without breaking up with me, I’m going straight to his mother and maybe even social media if I’m feeling petty enough.” You laughed, but there was nothing you were joking about. 

By now, Quinn wanted to ignore any woman that came his way.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love him so much. So much to the point where I would get down on my knee and propose to him. But, if so much as lies to me about anyone or anything, he’s gonna need a good lawyer.”

I'll tell the world you finish your chores prematurely

Quinn lined himself up in between your legs, pushing into you completely in one swift movement. You let out a breathy moan as your nails dug into his biceps. He didn’t move, letting not only you but himself adjust to the feeling. 

“Fuck, Q. You feel so good.” You mumbled, your brain foggy from the feeling of him being buried inside of you.

He mumbled something you didn’t quite understand before pulling out almost all the way before thrusting back into you completely. He did this a few more times before letting out a guttural groan, spilling into you.

This caught you completely off guard. Quinn had never finished this quickly before nor had he cum before you did. When he came to, he realized what had happened.

“Shit.” He mumbled, too embarrassed to move or even look you in the eyes.

You cleared your throat, pressing a soft kiss to kiss lips. “It’s fine, babe.” You pushed his body back, pushing him out of you. “I can just use my hand.”

He shook his head, finding his voice once again. “No, let me do it. I don’t- I don’t know what happened.”

Break my heart and I swear I'm movin' on

With your favorite athlete

Shoot his shot every night

Want you every second, don't need other guys

You were scrolling on your phone, swiping up on all the notifications you were getting from Instagram, seeing as you had just posted. 

Quinn was featured in a few of the pictures, drawing the attention of his friends and fans to your account. Your head was propped up on Quinn’s lap as you lay on the couch as he played his video game on the living room TV. 

One notification caught your eye as you furrowed your eyebrows seeing the DM request that had come through. 

‘rjosi90 wants to send you a message.’

“Hey babe? Who’s this?” You asked, turning your phone around to show him the account.

He paused his game, looking down to look. “You don’t know who Roman Josi is? He was that guy you met at the awards ceremony, remember?”

“Oh! The one you never shut up about!” You teased as soon as you remembered the name.

Quinn rolled his eyes, nodding at your words before resuming his game but keeping his attention on your conversation. “What did he send you?”

You opened the message, your eyes widening as you internally debated on telling him the truth, not knowing how he would react. But, you knew you wouldn’t want him lying to you if he got the same message from another woman, so you decided to be honest.

“He said he thinks I’m pretty and that you’re a lucky guy.” You read, eyes quickly flashing back to Quinn.

His cheeks were red and his eyebrows were knitted together. You looked at his hands, which were now gripping his controller so tight that his knuckles were going white. “Are you gonna respond?”

Hesitantly, you shook your head, “Not if you don’t want me to.” 

Quinn had never been an insecure person, but he wasn’t always confident. And your delayed reaction probably didn’t help. You let out a breath before grabbing the controller out of his grip and setting it to the side. 

You sat up, swinging your legs on either side of his lap and taking his face in between your hands. “Hey. I want you. Only you.”

You pressed a kiss on his lips which he barely returned out of his own frustration. Pulling back, you started to litter kisses all over his face in an attempt to cheer him up. Trailing from his lips to his cheeks, then to his jaw, and stopping on his neck. You sucked on a sweet spot that caused his hands to come up and settle on your hips. 

“I don’t want anyone but you, Quinn.”

You do somethin' sus, kiss my cute ass bye

As you stepped into his room, he quickly shut off his phone and turned it face down. You furrowed your eyebrows as you stood in the doorway.

“Am I interrupting something?” You questioned.

He shook his head rapidly, clearing his throat as he rubbed his hands together before walking over to you. “Just caught me off guard.”

You scanned his face. His cheeks were flushed and his face was sweaty. Not wanting the answer you thought it was, you gave him a look before speaking again. “Was just gonna ask if you wanted to watch a movie with me. But if you’re… busy, I can just watch it by myself.” 

Quinn cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah. Let me just do something really quick and I’ll be right out.”

You simply shook your head, walking out of his room and heading back to your room and laying down on your bed with your laptop in front of you as you curled up in a blanket waiting for your boyfriend.

Even though the two rooms were separated by a small hallway, the walls were still relatively thin. You heard his door open and close but his feet remained still. You could hear the noise of his phone keyboard in front of your door, typing one last thing out before he walked into your room.

“So what movie are we watching, pretty girl?” He asked, setting his phone on your bedside table.

You eyed his phone before looking at him, “Everything okay?” 

He gave you a confused look, “Yeah, why?”

“Sounded like you were typing something important.” You shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal out of what could be nothing.

But, his wide eyes told you everything you needed to know. You sat up, raising your eyebrows in a way that said “Tell me what’s going on.”

Quinn shifted on his feet. “My ex texted me. She was saying she wanted to meet me for dinner and…” He cut himself off.

“And what?” You pressed.

“She wants to try again.”

You scoffed, “Okay. What did you say?”

He took a breath before answering, “I told her about us and that I’ll pass on the dinner because I’m very happy with you.” The way his words came out, you didn’t fully believe him. Yet at the same time, his face and body language told you he was telling the truth. You could tell he was nervous telling you, but you knew he wasn’t lying.

You nodded your head, “Okay.”

“Okay? What does that mean? I can show you the texts if you want!” He rambled.

Pulling him down onto the bed with you, you wrapped the blanket around him as well before setting the laptop in a way where you could both see it while lying down.

“I trust you, Q. If you say that’s what you told her, I believe you.” You whispered.

Boy, it's not that complicated

You should stay in my good graces

Or I'll switch it up like that so fast

'Cause no one's more amazin'

At turnin' lovin' into hatred x2

I won't give a fuck about you x3

Oh, no

I won't give a fuck about you (Oh) x3 

Oh

No, I won't

I won't give a fuck about you, no, I won't

(I won't, I won't, I won't) x2

Quinn sat in the parking lot of Roger’s Arena. You had driven home early, wanting to beat the traffic seeing as the score by the middle of the third period was 0-4. 

The loss of the game and your going home early left Quinn thinking. 

You didn’t need him. 

Sure, you loved him and you loved living with him and the company and affection he gave you, but at the end of the day, you were completely fine being alone. 

The realization had Quinn wiping a few stray tears from his cheeks as he started up the engine of his car. He drove back in silence, hoping you’d be showering and in bed by the time he got home. 

As he focused on the scenery around him in the late hours of the night, that feeling of sadness fizzled into a feeling of relief. If for whatever reason Quinn left you, you would be okay. And now that he understood that, he became even more determined not to lose you.

Because regardless, Quinn Hughes didn’t want to live in a world where you weren’t his.

[suiana]

(yandere! second prince x gn! royalty reader) (inspired by frozen, yk the movie with elsa ya)

"y/n!"

the second prince called out, his lips quirking up into a shaky smile as the love of his life approached.

he had been cursed by his older brother, the king of the empire. it all happened so fast. he went to find his runaway sibling and when he finally found him... he didn't even know what happened. one second he was fine then the next he was on the floor, clutching his chest as his friend carried him out of his older sibling's ice castle.

apparently he needed a true love's kiss to break the curse that his older sibling placed on his heart. and he knew just who to help him break that curse.

"my darling, are you alright?"

heaven.

your voice was like salvation to him. he swears he could feel his heart thawing with just the sound of your voice.

"I'm alright now that you're here..."

the younger prince trembles as he makes himself comfortable in your grip. ah... you're so caring... so charming... he's so glad that you're his one and only.

"y/n, you have to kiss me. that's the only way to break the curse. a true love's kiss."

his hair had already begun turning white, a sign that the curse was progressing to the other parts of his body. if he didn't get that kiss, he might never get to be with you ever again.

he couldn't let that happen.

"really? shall i kiss you then?"

yes! his heart and mind were both screaming at you to just kiss him already. but he only nodded weakly, his cheeks turnung a faint shade of pink as he shut his eyes.

he could feel your warm breath on his lip, your warm and tender touches as you wrapped your arms around him. warm, you were so very warm.

but why weren't you kissing him?

"m-my love?"

he was desperately waiting for that kiss of yours. to feel your soft lips against his, for your passion to bring him back to his original condition.

but it never came.

his eyes fluttered open, his heart shaking as he takes in your expression. what? why were you smiling at him? just hurry up and kiss him already! your love will beeak the curse and you two would be happy together!

"my love can't you kiss-"

"oh darling, if only there was someone out there who loved you."

the second prince swears he feels his whole world stop at your words. even your warm hand caressing his cheek didn't help lessen the shock.

what did you say? no, he had to have misheard, right? how could you not love him?! you said it before-

"haha... funny joke my love... now c-can you kiss me? i feel so cold..."

"mn... yes, i suppose you were an idiot for not realising. you are quite naive unlike your brother."

his eye twitches at your words. out of all the things you had to say... you bring up his brother?

it's always his brother this, his brother that... can't it be him for once?!

"don't bring my brother-"

"you know, i was originally planning on going to him. he's more of my type anyway. but... he saw through me and distanced himself."

you let out a sigh, shaking your head as your hands loosen around the second prince. that's right, you were planning to get engaged to the king for the sake of your own empire, you know? but he instantly rejected you. what a shame.

then you met this...puppy like second prince. he'd do. of course he would, he's not half that bad looking and he's dumb too! he wouldn't suspect a thing!

"you know darling, you should use that brain of yours more."

you click your tongue, shaking your head before releasing your hold on the second prince. it's time to go take over this empire. the king was gone and the second in line was about to die. the whole enpire needed someone to support them and who else but you?

"no."

unfortunately, your plans were shattered as the second prince suddenly tugged you down, his hands shaky as he crawled on top of you.

what the hell?

you could only stare in silence as the younger prince forced you to remain under him. his eyes were dark with an emotion you've never seen from him before. he was... even panting? what a dog.

"you can't leave me."

was he not listening? you've never loved him-

"no, you have to love me. you said it before, why can't you say it now?"

you roll your eyes at his words, letting out an annoyed sigh as you try to push him off of you.

"don't you get it? those words were just lies. i've never loved you."

silence.

before you knew it, his lips were on yours. his cold lips against your warm ones as he pressed himself up against you.

"you nust love me. don't lie to me. how.. could you not love me?"

he mumbles between kisses, his cheeks flushing red as he geips your wrists, pinning them to the ground. he continues to sit on top of you, his breath mixing with yours.

"hah... we still have... time. I'll make you realise your feelings for me."

he looks down at you, deranged eyes staring into your own confused ones before he goes back to kissing you, his teeth nipping at your lower lip.

"you're the only one for me, y/n. you have to be mine."

he mumbles, voice shaky before he grips your jaw rather tightly.

"love me back."

damn boy! he crazy crazy 🤣

[lucy90712]

Headcanon for all the boys you want to write this for :

He overhears reader talking to a family member/ friend about how *the boys* are the one for her and just talks about a longtime future with them

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Gavi: 

- you have a free day for once so Gavi begs you to come to his training session with him but he didn't need to do much to convince you as you haven't been to training with him in a while as you've been busy with school and work plus you haven't seen the rest of the guys in ages 

- as Gavi is still recovering from his injury his training sessions look a little different so he started his exercises after the rest of the team but kept training after everyone else finished so you watch him for a minute until the rest of the guys call you over 

- It's been a while since you last saw most of the guys so you catch up on what you've been up to which for you isn't a very interesting as you have the same routine almost every day with school during the week and work on the weekends 

- the conversation turned to your relationship pretty quickly and how things have been as Gavi has been able to do more and have more of his normal life back then the boys start talking about how sappy Gavi is and how he never shuts up about you 

- you tell them that you are the same way and you couldn't care less as you can't imagine being sappy with anyone other than Gavi as he is your past present and future 

- they tease you for saying that but you didn't care as it's the truth you love Gavi with every fibre of your being and you don't want to be with anyone else for the rest of your life he is the one for you 

- Gavi overhears you saying all of that which puts a big smile on his face for the rest of his training session and for the rest of the day it makes him so happy to hear as he feels the exact same way about you but he didn't want to just say it 

- he never tells you that he heard what you said but he thinks about it all the time whenever he has a bad day and he gets home and sees you it reminds him instantly of what you said and lifts his mood immediately 

- all it takes is for him to realise that as long as he has you all of the little meaningless things don't matter as in 5 days or 5 years you will still be by his side supporting him and those little thing won't even still be in his memory 

- that conversation you had without you knowing he could hear you will forever be his little pick me up and he never plans to tell you as he doesn't see the need to embarrass you by telling you what he heard 

Pedri:

- every summer Pedri takes you with him back to Tenerife with him to spend time with his family and to just relax but you didn't mind one bit as you love it there and you love his family 

- ever since Pedri introduced you to his family you have been really close with his mum she was glad to have female presence around and you were happy to spend time with her and create a bond with Pedri's family 

- seeing as you don't get to see each other too much Pedri's mum asks if you want to have a girls day when you are in Tenerife with Pedri and who would you be to say no to a girls day 

- the two of you go and get lunch and get your nails done together before going back to Pedri's house to sit outside by the pool in the sun with cocktails seeing as Pedri wasn't there when you got there 

- while you are sat outside you get to talking about your future and because you feel comfortable around his mum you tell her that you don't see yourself doing anything without Pedri by your side and how you never want to have to love your life with anyone else 

- as you are saying these things Pedri arrives home and starts to listen while standing at the back doors of the house he hears every word you say which just warms his heart as he knew you two were in love but to hear you put it that way really makes him happy 

- at some point you see a figure standing behind you out of the corner of your eye and you freak out until you realise it's Pedri but then you freak out even more thinking about what he heard as you didn't know if what you said would be too much for him 

- he quickly makes his way over to you and kisses your cheek and whispers in your ear that he wouldn't want to experience anything in life without you which makes you feel just as warm and fuzzy inside as Pedri did when he heard you say it 

- his mum hears what he said to you and it makes her smile knowing that her son has found someone special who he loves and who loves him back equally as much 

Jude: 

- being back in England for the summer means seeing family and this year as the summer break was shorter due to the euros and after spending the whole time in Germany with Jude when you fly back you go straight home to spend time with your family while Jude goes to see his 

- you spend a few weeks apart before you travel up to spend the last part of your time in England with Jude and his family as before you know it you will be back in Madrid and you want to make sure you see everyone before life takes over again 

- Jude is glad to have you back as he's missed you and Jobe is excited to see you too as you get on well with him and it's been a while since you've seen him 

- they had a sibling day planned for the day you arrived back as you came a bit early but they were quick to change their plans and invite you along and they both say that it will be more fun with you there anyway 

- you all spend the day together walking around town and going in all sorts of little stores on the high street most of which you only go in to get away from big groups of fans who want pictures with Jude and Jobe

- to end the day all three of you go for dinner and at some point Jude goes to the bathroom leaving you to talk with Jobe so he starts asking about how Madrid has been for you and you talk about how it was difficult to adjust at first but Jude helped you feel at home 

- that leads you on to saying how you could do anything if Jude was by your side as he just gets you and always knows how to help you through things or what you need at any moment which you don't think that anyone else could do 

- Jobe then asks if you think you'll be with Jude for the rest of your life and you say that you have no doubt that Jude is the one for you and you don't want to spend the rest of your life with anyone else 

- Jude heard all this as he walked back over and he can't help but smile knowing that you are so happy with him as all he really wants is for the both of you to be happy together and he tells you that as he sits back down which makes you blush as you know that he heard you

Ruben: 

- You and Ruben spent a few days away just the two of you after the euros but after that his friends invited him to join them for a few days on a boat so he asked you and you agreed so that's where you went 

- Ruben introduced you to his friends a long time ago but you don't get to see them very often so you hadn't met their girlfriends before but they were quick to introduce themselves and they all seemed really sweet

- you spend most of the few days on the boat talking to the girls and getting to know them so by the time the last day rolls all of you are so comfortable talking to each other about anything which is when they start to gush over your relationship with Ruben and how loving he is towards you 

- they keep insisting that you have the perfect relationship but you tell them that you are nowhere near perfect but because you know that you want this relationship to last forever you have learnt how to make compromises and nit fight about the little things that mean nothing 

- Ruben overhears you saying that which only solidifies in his mind that you are the one for him and it encourages him to take the initiative and take your relationship to the next step

- the day after your last day on the boat Ruben plans a whole day where it's just the two of you doing lots of fun little activities which ends with a trip to the beach for a picnic for dinner as the sun sets 

- just as the sun has gone down and the sky is all sorts of beautiful colours Ruben brings you closer to the waters edge where he suddenly gets down on one knee and asks you to marry him 

- he has a whole speech to tell you how much he loves you and why which he ends with mentioning what you said on the boat the day before which you had no idea he heard but it makes you happy that he resonated with what you said 

- if the girls didn't think your relationship was perfect before they definitely do after they hear the story of your engagement at a dinner Ruben organised to celebrate it 

[casuallyanidiot]

Yandere deer Hybrid with a hunter darling.

Tw.Nsfw themes! Dead dove do not eat!

Kidnapping, death, Yandere, MDNI

He's so regal and princely, with auburn colored curls framing his face like ribbon would a doll. Ciervus is a proud one, and he doesn't shy away from it. He stands taller than his peers, and his winding horns only add to his already imposing stature. He's a catch by all means: strong and intimidating to the point where no predator would mess with him and his future doe.

No one except you at least.

Ciervus is absolutely fascinated. He knows you're not something he should trust, but you've got so many things about you that he just can't tear his eyes from. Your hands are rough from handling your rifle all day, everyday, and you've got this permanent frown on your grimed streaked face. How odd. He thinks you'd be a cute doe, if you weren't fully human that is. He can't blame you for that, but it is a bit frustrating. He has his pick of potential mates, and if you just had little fuzzy ears or shiny black hooves, then he's sure he could've had you squealing and under him a long time ago.

He stamps his feet in frustration as he watches you. There's something thrilling about watching you settled in the underbrush, pointing your weapon at those he would consider his people. Every few days or so, someone he grew up with, frolicking in the spring once long ago, would disappear with only a loud bang and a streak of blood to signal their fate.

He knows it's bad to even seek you out. He could die. You would have no reservations about killing him after all. But Ciervus can't help the way his loins grow warm when he catches your scent through the trees. Even when you've dragged off the body of another poor deer, he's crouched, pressing his nose into the earth where you had sat in wait only hours before. There's something primal in the way he huffs your lingering smell off of the scattered leaves and smushed grass.

He wishes that you would know he was here, so that he could woo you properly.

Ciervus approaches you one day, and in his hands are his shed horns.

You're apprehensive, to be certain, but you let him come close. He feels shivers run up his spine. He can feel your body heat as he leans in close and presses his gift into your hands. He doesn't know why for sure you hunt those like him, but he thinks the antlers might have to do with it. He doesn't care all that much. You can't shoot him from this angle, pressed up against your back with his teeth grazing over your skin. He can feel you freeze up, and he grins at the though that this might be the first time you've ever felt like prey out here in these woods.

He lets his hands wander, dipping down the curve of your waist. You smell like death, iron, and sulfur, like you're a devil haunting this place. He relishes your pounding heart, and his lips press into the thrumming pulse point. It's then he reaches back and presses his fallen antlers to you. He figures you should have them. They take a year to grow and fall off, and he's spent that time yearning for you. It's only fair that the human tangled in greenery is the one who gets it.

"You deserve these," He whispers and finally pulls back. You're too shocked to do anything but sit there with eyes almost as wide as his and watch as he disappears.

After that day Ciervus becomes more brazen. He starts to stalk after you. He knows that to you, he's just some weird fawn with a death wish. Maybe he is, but that doesn't mean he'll let you kill him so easily. He gives you so many reasons not to.

He knows that other deer trust him. He knows that to the other woodland critter, he's just an innocent face that is not to be messed with. In that sense, he knows he can be of use to you. For as much as he follows you, you now also follow him. It sends a thrill down his spine, knowing that the barrel of your rifle is trailed after him. If he was going to lose his life to anyone, he'd want it to be you and not some drooling, snarling creature that would tear his beautiful face into a bloody mess. But he wants more time with you, so he leads you to other hybrids.

A fox, a goose, a wolf, other deer, it doesn't matter. You learn quickly, and you know that where he goes, there's an easy catch.

You vanish into the dark tree line, a body dragged behind you, and each night he lets you leave. You always return for some reason or another, and he doesn't fear the lack of you. At least he doesn't until you're gone for over two weeks.

Ciervus is beside himself. It's the first time that he's been without you for this long, and he begins to wonder if you'll ever come back. He's especially volatile during then. He fights any other young buck that come near, his nostrils flaring and his little tail wagging in utter annoyance. He expands his territory in an attempt to see if you went anywhere else, if you finally decided you were done with him.

When you appear once more, face blank and unchanged, he decided he can no longer take it. You must think nothing of him. Truly what a little fool you are. You must learn. You have to understand how he feels, and that he will have you even if it kills him.

He doesn't lead you to another hybrid this time, and he feels his cock twitch when he sees the frustration on your face. Oh...you were looking for him. It's a gratifying notion, and he bites his plump lip in excitement. He lets you go about your normal routine, but this time when you start to take your hunt for the day and leave the woods, he follows.

He's never left the sanctity of the woods. Not once in his entire life. There's this twisted sort of pride that fills him knowing that he's doing this for you. And as he peers inside your little cabin nestled along the roadside, he knows that the only reason why he would be doing any of this is because you're going to be his mate.

Your home is filled with the smell of iron and chemicals that burn his nose, but he watches from your window as you wrap a stiffening body (A rabbit hybrid this time) in a tarp and wait for a rumbling truck to come and take it away. He can see you be vulnerable in a way you'd never been before. Your bulky hunting gear is off, and he can finally see just how little you are compared to him in all his hulking glory. His ears twitch. You really are just a little doe.

He waits for you to relax, sitting on your bed and yawning as you prepare to rest for the day. He strikes then, breaking your window and yanking you out with little regard for how the glass cuts into you on the way out. His lithe and bulging arms wrap tightly around your midriff and knock the air out of you. He smiled at the way you try to fight despite struggling to breathe. He croons and presses a kiss to your cheek. He suspected as much when he gave you his antlers, but you really aren't all that strong, are you? At least not enough to fight him off.

He shushes you and shoves two thick fingers into your mouth when you try to scream, and a wide, unnatural smile crosses his lovely face.

"Shhh, shh its okay- ow! Hnh, haha, I guess I deserved that. No more biting, okay little doe?" He murmurs as he pets your hair and drags you further into the forest. It's so dark, and he knows that your human eyes won't be able to see where he's taking you. He takes you to a little cave decorated all pretty with soft furs, flowers, and moss. He sets you down, thrashing and screeching, into a little nest he's made.

He knows you think you're strong, but he's going to make sure you know your place. You were never really meant to be a hunter, you were always meant to be the strong mate he deserved.

His large hand reaches down and finds your ankle, catching it from where you tried to kick his sides. His wide, dark eyes peer down at you, and he smiles. Oh he how he loves you, but you're far too stubborn. Even now you're clawing at his arms, and his face crinkles apologetically.

"Little doe, this is for your own good," He says with a firm tone. You part your lips to argue, but a sickening crunch reverberates throughout the cold, stone walls of the cave. You let out a bloodcurdling scream as your leg twitches in pain. He releases your now broken ankle, and he wipes away your tears as he puts extra padding around your wounded foot.

"There there, don't cry. Shhh, shhh you're okay. I'll take care of you," He soothes and presses you down. You're a little heap of sobs, and his heart squeezes painfully. "Don't worry, little doe. I'll be a good mate. I'll wait until you're allllllll better before I start trying to get you used to me down here," He says softly as he presses his hand to your clothed crotch. He feels you flinch away, and Cervius can only chuckle.

"I know, I know, we won't do that until you feel better," He assures you and presses his palm over your mouth to muffle the insults and screams that were trying to escape that pretty mouth of yours. He waits until you pass you before he finally relaxes and snuggles up against you.

He's finally caught you. His little doe. His prey.

[cherry-romper]

Mortal Kombat -

Suggestive Headcannons

+ Lui Kang, Kung Lao, Raiden, Bi-Han, Kuai Liang, Tomas Vrbada, Johnny Cage, Kenshi Takahashi, Syzoth, Shang Tsung, Reiko, Havik

Warnings; MDNI, Sexual Content,

Contains; GN!reader, fluff, smut

Liu Kang; 

A lover. He will hold you close, taking you in, memorising your every crease and curve, every bump and scar. 

He’s gentle and patient while also being full of zeal and desire. 

He’s not one to ask for it per se, he won’t be so blunt about it. It more so happens when one of you will deepen a kiss or shift when cuddling.

He loves you. Your pleasure is his. Seeing you satisfied, not just in bed but being with him, brings him great pride.

Kung Lao; 

Likes to give, loves to receive. A 69’er at heart, but enjoys seeing your face more; he takes pleasure in staring you down.

High sex-drive. Can be multiple times a night.

Loves building tension during the day. He’ll teasingly throw slights and jest at you all day; replying to all your questions with sarcasm. Adores back-and-forth banter. 

More domestically, he’d love to watch you. No matter what you’re doing, even if you’re just brushing your hair, he’ll be watching you intently. 

Raiden; 

Slow and steady, almost hesitant. He needs time to build confidence and try out new things. 

I feel like he’d want to keep your sex life private. Where Johnny or Kung Lao might brag, he’d rather have only the two of you know. It feels more intimate. 

Gentle with you, but can squeeze your skin when he’s close.

Big on aftercare. Will take care of you so well. Food, water, fresh clothes, a warm shower, clean sheets and cuddles.

Bi-han; 

He’s not big on sex. He’s too busy, and there are other, quicker ways to relieve stress.

HOWEVER, it’s different with you. He could look at you for hours, studying you, trying to find a reason why he feels this way about you. 

Takes you like you’re slipping from his hands. Grips you, hard, anywhere he can; arms, legs, hips, hair, throat, he doesn’t care, he’s grabbing it.

Incredibly spontaneous. You’re almost exclusively bent over something, if not you’re against a wall.

Kuai Liang; 

Gives you everything you ever wanted. You will always be satisfied.

90% love-making, 10% fucking. It’s rare, but sometimes just really needs you.

Soft grabs and deep kisses are his go to. 

Will let his hands glide up your thighs or your arms, often leading to the removal of clothing. 

Tomas Vrbada; 

He worships the ground you walk on, would do anything for you without a second thought. On his knees for you.

A begger. “Please” is his favourite word. 

Lets you take the reins, giving you the freedom to do whatever you want to him, but is down to take control if you get tired.

Will become an illegible, whiney mess. You make him loose his mind. He loves you, no one else could ever make him feel the way you do. You’re his soulmate.

Johnny Cage; 

As much as he loves himself, he reveres you like a deity. Of all the people he could be with, you’re the one he fell for; and he fell hard.

Needs to be able to see your face at all times, but isn’t opposed to doing it from behind, as long as there’s a mirror. 

Big fan of you being on top, with him thrusting, he gets to see himself and you at the same time, plus he can control the pace, it’s a no-brainer. 

He’s an “anytime, any place” kinda guy., you just have to say the word. Pool, Janitors closet, dressing room, toilets, he’s in.

Kenshi Takahashi;

Loves to feel you close. Skin-on-skin contact is an absolute must. He’s obsessed with your body.

Needs your wrapped around him, his head buried in your neck.

Pillowtalk KING. Cherishes being wrapped up in the covers with you, just holding you, reminding you how much he loves you.

Trusts you fully, you see him at his most vulnerable, he loves not having to be on his guard. Has a small kink for letting you take complete control.

Syzoth;

It’s a weird situation with him, you being warm and him being cold. He cannot get enough of entering you, feeling that warmth, it drives him crazy.

Lasts a long time. Big on edging. 

You tend to get caught up in laughing with each other, you’ll just look at each other and giggle. Enhances the feeling tenfold.

Can sandwich you between his cold body and a cold wall, he loves the way you heat up. 

Shang Tsung; 

You serve him. Seeing you on your knees gets him going. 

He never does it laying down, he’s always sitting or standing. You’re either bent over, on his lap, or on your knees.

Crazy for hair pulling, loves pulling you back and staring at the mess he made of your face. 

Will reward you, loves when you beg for him, show him you yearn for him.

Reiko; 

Post. Fight. Sex.

His adrenaline is high, his chest heaving - still trying to catch his breath, covered in blood, his only thought is you.

Absolutely feral. 

From behind, your hair is being pulled, your waist gripped, throat choked, your ear bitten.

Havik; 

Likes to be served, 100%. 

An exhibitionist. Likes to humiliate you, but also show you off. 

Youre HIS. Everyone, from outworld to the neatherrealm to earthrealm, will know about how good he makes you feel.   

Will degrade you but simultaneously tell you how good you feel. 

[skibasyndrome]

Wilmon + "please I need you inside me"

cw: this is... definitely nsfw, a lil bit angsty... messy exes reunited at a party?

ALSO: the word count on this bad boy got... completely out of hand

"Please, I need you inside me." Simon's whispered confession hits Wille like a freight train. It's not what he expected him to say, not after everything, not after all this time, not after what he said last time. Not as his first full sentence towards Wille, after an awkward "hey" in front of Felice and Sara who are the only reason they even came to Maddie's party in the first place. Not after asking if Wille "has a minute" one and a half hours later.

It's all wrong and Wille is confused, so fucking confused and a little bit too tipsy to really connect the dots (have there been hints all evening? have there been signs he misread?). Instead of asking any of the millions of questions floating around his mind (Why do you want me now? Did you change your mind? What happened to the new guy? Why here?) he just stutters, unsure what to say, unsure what to do about the goosebumps mottling the skin of his neck, even moments after Simon has already pulled away again. "Simon, I don't..." (Why didn't you text? Why didn't you call?) Simon's expression twists painfully and Wille knows, oh god he knows what this sounds like and he needs to fix this. "I...," and the words still don't make their way out, so he reaches out, fingers grazing the inside of Simon's wrist, so soft and so smooth and so reminiscent of the times this was what they did. (Why did you push me away when this is what you want?) "We can't," Wille tries instead, desperate, breathless, feels his chest contract angrily, feels his resolve crumble with every passing second that he's skin to skin with Simon. Fingertips on the wrist are enough to set his skin on fire. Enough to bring him back to two years ago. (Why didn't you want me to fight harder?) "Is it because you don't want to?" Simon asks, voice gentle and careful and so painfully small - Wille hates when Simon feels like he needs to make his voice smaller - that the pang goes right to Wille's heart. (Why would you ever think I don't want you?) He shakes his head fervently, like he can shake off the hurt and the confusion and the incessantly rising heat of want that crawls up the inside of his throat. "No. God, no," he tries, feels and hears his voice break on the first no. (Did I not prove to you that you're all I ever want?) Simon's eyes meet his again, finally. Glistening even in the dim light of this hallway, and Wille wishes he could read him better, wishes there weren't two years of distance lodged in between them. Simon moves his arm and just as Wille is about to gasp at the prospect of losing him again he feels Simon's grip on his upper arm instead, firm and warm even through the thin fabric of his shirt. The breath gets stuck somewhere deep inside of Wille's rib cage. He doesn't dare make a single move while Simon tugs on his arm, places it around himself, takes another step towards Simon. (Why did I ever let you go?) The look in Simon's eyes is dangerous, is gnawing away at every bit of distance, at every wall that Wille has desperately tried to build up over these past years. Simon squeezes Wille's bicep, signaling him he can touch him back and- Fuck. And Wille does. Wille's hand still perfectly fits on top of Simon's hipbone. "If you still in any way want me..." (What the fuck did I do to make you think there'd ever be an 'if'?) "if this is still," and Simon is standing so close to him now that Wille thinks he must be feeling him. Must be feeling that Wille, despite himself and all that work he put into getting over Simon, very much fucking wants him. Now, always, probably for fucking ever. "If this is something you might want..." Simon presses against him now, hips against hips, and Wille wants to moan and cry and wrap him tightly in his arms because he can feel Simon again, too, here, close. Simon leans forward, lips moving towards Wille's ear. "Let me have this, Wille. If you still want this, let me have you."

Wille's moan is barely stifled when he feels the subtle movement of Simon against him, of Simon pressing into him, onto him, of Simon searching for contact and friction and more of Wille. "Not here," Wille tries, but he's already losing the battle and grinding his erection against Simon's, that quietly flickering flame he never quite managed to put out now stoked into a raging fire. "We don't have- and we're just-" And while he stammers away, while he digs his fingertips into Simon's side and relishes in the heady feeling of having him here again, he feels Simon slip something into his palm, a small bottle, familiar enough to make Wille's mind spin. (How did you-?) "I knew you'd be here," Simon confesses, unprompted. "I knew I'd see you." His lips leave burns in their wake as they brush down the side of Wille's jaw. Wille barely has control over his own hands, just barely registers that must be pulling Simon closer. And it seems like this breaks a dam inside of Simon. "Been thinking about you," he gasps out and Wille can feel his hands under his shirt now, digging nails into Wille's skin that remembers. "Been missing you," Simon admits, much more quietly, but before Wille has any chance - But why did you-? - Simon pushes on. "Missed feeling you... missed having you like this." And god, god, Wille is a broken man. He's never had a sense for when to stop, when to turn away from Simon before things become detrimental, and he's not about to now start acting like he has any control over his feelings towards this man. This man that ruined Wille for everyone forever. So of course Wille finds himself perched behind Simon in one of the seemingly countless storage rooms in Maddie's house, of course he's got Simon holding on to a shelf in front of him, with his pants bunched up around his knees, and of course he's back to opening Simon up for him, nice and slow and grabbing one of his ass cheeks, holding him open for a better view while he does it, because simply feeling him is not enough right now. Of course Simon is back to letting out those sounds that Wille has never stood a chance against, quiet hiccup-y moans that he draws out for a moment longer whenever Wille pulls out and gently eases his fingers back in, teasing. Simon feels just like Wille remembers, he moves just like Wille remembers, he lets out that same broken sound when Wille drops to his knees and asks if he can, please, if Simon is okay with it. He arches his back and pushes back against Wille's mouth, moans at every flick of his tongue, just like he's always done. The filthy string of profanities and desperate pleas falling from his mouth is just as enticing and encouraging as it's always been. The way Wille needs to hold Simon's hips in place, thumbs on his ass cheeks to help hold his open, the way Simon tastes, the way he grinds back and lets Wille fuck his tongue into him... It all hasn't changed one bit. Wille feels delirious, feels like he's stuck in one of those dreams that kept haunting him for weeks, months, after. He feels like he could risk waking up to his empty bed again if he pulls away to catch his breath. It still feels like a dream when he lines himself up with Simon's back, when he presses closer, not pushing in, just feeling the heat of Simon's body through his shirt, just relishing in the slick, hot tightness of being between Simon's thighs. It's so much, so fucking much that Wille needs a moment, that he needs to prepare for what he's sure will ruin him, that he needs to wait before entering him again.

"Are you okay?" Simon asks, breathing heavily and grinding back desperately, and it's almost like it used to be, almost as sweet and caring and devastatingly gentle as they used to be. Almost, because there's an edge of fear, of worry, of uncertainty. Wille nods, pressing his forehead against the soft wispy hairs at the back of Simon's neck. He's so okay. He's so much more than okay, feels so much better than he has months and that alone is absolutely fucking breaking him apart. "So okay," Wille gasps out, pulling back slightly to line himself up. He ignores the slight tremor in his hands, that anticipatory shiver of pleasure that courses through him. "So fucking okay," he moans when he slowly pushes in, sinks against Simon, slips back into that old, familiar, breathtaking sensation of connection and closeness, of soft, warm bliss. And Simon does it, too, moans, throws his head back, angles himself so that Wille can slide home, can claim this feeling for the two of them, finally again. Simon's affirmative hum travels through Wille's chest like the heavy bass on the dance floor did earlier, Simon's sweetly assertive command for "more, Wille" pierces him like a knife. But he can, he absolutely wants to give Simon more. He pulls back slightly, only to thrust into him again, giving more and deeper and harder, making Simon's breathing stutter, making the shelf that's bearing more of less all the force groan under the impact. Every bit of desperation, every yearning thought Wille has tried to neatly file away breaks lose in him, every single time he dreamt of this imagined just one more chance at this hits him at once. By the time he pulls back, words of warning on his lips, mumbled apologies for being so gone so quickly, for not making this last any longer falling into the sweat-heavy air around them, his eyes are burning, his throat closing up. It can't be over already, not again, not now, not ever. Simon's arm shoots behind him, grabbing onto Wille's ass, pulling him closer again, urging him back inside to the hilt. Wille's hips stutter and he gasps out another pleading warning, sure that he's going to fall any minute now, but Simon only digs his blunt fingernails into Wille's skin. "Stay," Simon presses out, so quietly that Wille barely hears it. But it's enough to make Wille press his eyes shut, go rigid against Simon's back. "Inside me, please," he adds, words so drawn out and voice so breathy that Wille can't help but moan in response. Simon needs him, is all Wille can think of when Simon grinds back against him, Simon needs to feel him again, he thinks, as he listens to Simon's staccato breaths and the sound of his slickened hand jerking himself off. It's all the way it used to be, it's like he was never gone, it's like they picked up where they left off, like it's them, together, against all odds again. It takes no more than a couple thrusts before Wille is coming, gasping into the sweaty hair in the back of Simon's neck, pressing closer, wrapping his arms tightly around Simon's chest and stomach, like that will keep him from ever leaving again. Wille is still panting, still shaking, when he feels Simon's come hit his arm, feels Simon go pliant in his arms. He doesn't ask why now, why after all this time, when Simon, hands still holding Wille against him, like he, too, is scared Wille will leave, pants out a quiet "thank you". Wille doesn't ask what this means, either. Doesn't ask what Simon now thinks of him, what Simon now wants to do. He doesn't, can't, get out a single question while he holds onto Simon and Simon holds onto him.

OOOF. I......... I guess that was the vibe when I sat down to write this today. Thank you so so much for sending in that prompt, dear anon! I hope you enjoyed it! 💜💜💜

Send me "Wilmon" + a sentence and I will write you 2k apparently another 5(+) sentences

[hoernypie]

₊˚. '♡ Suguru's teachings ♡'.˚₊

tags: virgin y/n, p+v, cheating, first time, unexpierienced y/n

wc: 4976

The sun glared down without any mercy on the schoolyard, the only source of shade was a bench nestled under the big tree. On this bench, you sat, your eyes closed to avoid the harsh light and your mind racing with thoughts that you were lost in. "What do you think about so much?" 

Looking up, you saw Suguru standing in front of you, with a furrowed brow and a look of concern on his face. He walked with purpose, knowing exactly what you were feeling and what was going on after accidentally hearing how you talked with Shoko before classes started.

You hesitate for a moment, unsure of how to respond to Suguru's question. You two were very close friends after all, but this topic could be a little embarrassing for you. "It's just...I'm feeling annoyed," you admit, a hint of vulnerability in your voice. "Dating Yū... I thought it would be amazing." Suguru nods in understanding, taking a seat beside you, now even more curious about the whole dating situation. He gently pats your hair. "Y/n," he says gently. "Tell me more about it so I can help." You smile weakly before continuing, "I just don't know what's wrong with me. He's sweet, caring, and much more but we've been dating for a month now and we won't even kiss me. I've seen other couples do that. I know it's stupid but...".

 "Sometimes, the girl could take the initiative." 

You blush at Suguru's suggestion, feeling a mix of embarrassment and hope. "But what if I mess it up?" you ask nervously. "What if he doesn't like it?" Suguru chuckles and nudges you playfully with his elbow. "Just be yourself," he reassures you. "Yū loves you for who you are, right?" He pauses, looking at you with a knowing smile. "And besides, I can give you a little...practice," he says, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. Your eyes widen in surprise, but before you can object, he leans in and presses a soft, chaste kiss to your cheek. "See? It's not that hard. Now, when you feel the moment's right, just lean in and..." He pauses, his eyes searching yours for a brief moment before pulling away. The air between you feels charged, and you realize that maybe taking the initiative isn't as scary as you thought.

"But a kiss on the cheek is different", you pout while turning your gaze away from him.

Suguru's smile widens at your pout, and he leans back against the bench, stretching his arms out along the backrest. "Alright, if you're that nervous, we can practice," he says, his tone light and reassuring. "How about we go to my dorm room?"

Your heart skips a beat at the suggestion, and you can't help but feel a rush of excitement mixed with anxiety. "Practice?" you repeat, your voice barely above a whisper. "But it'll be cheating, right?"

He shrugs nonchalantly and he nudges you, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Don't worry, we'll be just practicing,  besides we are friends," despite the awkwardness of the situation, you can't help but slowly nod. "Okay," you murmur.

You both stand up from the bench and with a reassuring pat on your back, Suguru leads the way to his dorm room. The short walk feels like an eternity as your mind races with a whirlwind of emotions. When you reach the door, he unlocks it and invites you inside. The room is simple and clean, with a bed on the opposite side of the desk. He motions for you to sit on the bed. As you sit down, you notice your hands are trembling slightly, and your heart is pounding against your chest. Suguru sits beside you, giving you a comforting smile, twisting strands of your hair between his fingers. He leans in, his breath warm on your face, and whispers, "Just remember to breathe." His hand reaches for yours, giving it a gentle squeeze, and making the nervousness seem to dissipate. With his other hand, he gently cups your cheek and tilts your face towards his. Your eyes lock onto his for a brief second, before he leans in to kiss you softly on the lips. It's quick and gentle, and when he pulls back, he's still smiling. "See?" he says, his voice a comforting murmur. "It's not so scary." The warmth of his hand and the softness of his kiss linger on your skin, leaving you feeling more motivated than ever to take the next step with Yū.

Encouraged by Suguru's kindness and guidance, you take a deep breath and lean in,  aiming for a kiss on the lips. Your heart races as your eyes close and your lips meet. The kiss is delicate at first, a soft brush of your mouth as you try to imagine Yū's reaction. But when you feel Suguru's hand gently cradle the back of your head, pulling you closer, you relax into it, letting the warmth of his lips guide you. The kiss deepens, becoming more earnest as your arms instinctively wrap around his neck. 

When you finally pull away, both of you are smiling, the awkwardness of the moment replaced by a sense of shared accomplishment. "Thank you, Suguru," you whisper, your cheeks flushed. "I think I'm ready now."

"Alright," he says, his voice slightly huskier than before. He scoops closer to you, placing a hand on your waist and the other hand on the side of your face, tilting it slightly to the side to show you how to angle your head for a more intimate kiss. "Now, let's try again," he whispers, his breath caressing your ear. This time, when your lips meet, there's no hesitation. You mimic the passion he had shown you, feeling your heart race even faster. Suguru's hand on your waist tightens slightly, guiding you to lean into him as your kiss becomes more intense. He moves his hand to the back of your neck, his thumb brushing against your skin as he shows you how to deepen the kiss. You follow his lead, exploring the sensation as your tongues tentatively touch. It's a moment of pure closeness, your breath mingling as your body leans into his on its own. When you pull back this time, you're both breathless, your eyes wide and searching for approval. Suguru's smile is warm and proud. "You've got it," he murmurs. "Now, just remember this feeling when you're with Yū." With a final peck on the lips, he leans back, giving you space to process what just happened. Inside, you're overfilled with emotions, but you know that you're ready to face Yū and express your feelings in the way you've always wanted to. Or at least that's what you think for now.

As the days pass, missing Suguru's lips becomes a constant ache in your heart. Each time you kiss with Yū, the one on your mind is Suguru and you can't help but feel a mix of fondness and guilt. You love Yū, so why practice with Suguru lingers in your mind? The more you think about it, the reality of the situation starts to sink in. That Yū doesn't feel the same way as Suguru. That the kiss with Suguru meant more to you than just a rehearsal. The thought of losing either of them weighs heavily on your conscience, and you find yourself caught in a whirlwind of uncertainties and feelings. You decide to keep the secret buried, focusing instead on strengthening your relationship with Yū. Yet, every time you're around Suguru, you can't help but feel the electricity between you, a silent reminder of the moment you shared under the guise of "practice".

The memory of Suguru's lips lingers, leaving a gentle imprint on yours. Each time you see him in the hallway, share a laugh in class, or catch a glimpse of his concerned gaze, the intensity of those kisses echoes through your thoughts. The guilt of keeping this from Yū gnaws at you, but the fear of losing either of them is paralyzing. You convince yourself that it was just a friendly gesture, a way to help a friend in need. But deep down, you know it was more than that. It was a spark that ignited something within you, something that makes you question the boundaries of your relationships and the true nature of your feelings that maybe unknowingly you've been pushing deep into the corners of your brain. You find yourself lost, torn between the comfort of your current romance and the exhilarating thrill of a new, unexplored connection. Yet, you remain silent, the secret nestled in your heart, waiting for the right moment when you'll have the courage to face the truth of your feelings and the consequences that are about to emerge.

A couple of days later, you find yourself in Yū's door room after lessons, the setting sun casting a warm glow through the curtains. You've decided it's time to take the leap and show him how much you truly care and want him. As you nervously approach the moment, you start to unbutton his shirt, your hands shaking slightly from anticipation. He smiles at you, his eyes filled with love and excitement. However, when he notices the blush on your cheeks and the way your eyes dart to his mouth, he seems to understand that this might be more than you're used to. He gently takes your hand in his and stops you from unbuttoning his pants. "Please stop," he says softly, his voice filled with concern. You bite your bottom lip, feeling a mix of embarrassment and frustration at your inexperience and him stopping you. You just nod and lean in for a kiss, but he turns away. The passionate kiss you had shared with Suguru fills your mind, now feeling awkward with the weight of your secret pressing down on you. Yū seems to sense your unease and pulls close, stroking your cheek with his thumb. "We should go slow," he whispers, trying to comfort you. But as the silence stretches out, you realize that you're not ready to face the truth of what you're feeling and he's not ready for what you seek. 

That night, unable to shake off the lingering confusion and yearning, you find yourself standing in front of Suguru's dorm room. Your hand hovers over the door, unsure if you should knock or turn back. The sound of doubt in your mind grows louder, but the memory of the kiss, the warmth of his embrace, and his gaze push you forward. You finally muster the courage and knock softly. The door opens to reveal Suguru in his shorts and a loose shirt, his eyes widening in surprise as he sees you. "Hey, what's up?" he asks, his voice gentle. You swallow hard, trying to push the words out of your mouth. "I... I need to talk to you," you stutter, your heart racing. He steps aside, inviting you in with a concerned look, and once the door is closed behind you, you take a deep breath.

"I think Yū, doesn't want me. Well, of course, now we kiss, but..." you started while pacing around his room, "I wanted to try... something more but he pushed me away."

Suguru's expression turns from surprise to concern as he watches you pace, his eyes following your every move. He can see the hurt in your eyes. He gently takes your hand, leading you to sit beside him on the bed. "What do you mean, 'something more'?" he asks, his voice tender and understanding. You look down at your hands, fidgeting with your fingers as you struggle to find the right words. "I...I want to be closer to him, body to body, and... Ugh! You know what I mean" you admit. "But every time I try, it feels like there's a wall between us. I know that I've never done those... dirty things but still. If this keeps going we'll break up for sure”. The silence that follows is thick with unspoken emotions, until finally, Suguru speaks up, his voice serious. "If you're not happy with the pace of your relationship with Yū, maybe you should talk to him about it," he suggests, his thumb tracing circles on the back of your hand. His touch sends a jolt of electricity through your body, and for a moment, you're lost in the memory of your kisses. You nod slowly, knowing he's right, but the fear of losing either of them keeps you from saying what's truly in your heart. "I'll think about it," you murmur, standing up to leave. As you turn to go, Suguru's hand reaches out to grab your wrist, his eyes locking onto yours. "But remember," he says, his voice filled with a quiet intensity, "I can help you with anything you want, we're friends after all." The weight of his gaze makes your heart ache with a love that goes beyond friendship, and for the first time, you realize that the line between practice and reality may have been blurred more than you ever intended.

You nod again, unable to find the words to express the storm of emotions inside you. With a forced smile, you pull away from Suguru's grasp and head for the door. "Thanks, Sugu'," you whisper, your voice full of sadness. As you step into the hallway, you lean against the door for support, trying to compose yourself. Your heart feels like it's about to burst from everything and now from feeling kind of disappointed that tonight nothing more happened with Suguru. You know you can't keep pretending with Yū, and you can't ignore what happened with Suguru. You walk back to your room, the gravity of the guilt pressing down on your shoulders. 

The silence in your room offered no escape from the thoughts. You slip into bed, your mind racing with images of Yū and the gentle way he holds you, the way his eyes light up when you're together. But as your hand slips under the covers to find some relief from the growing tension in your body, it's not Yū's face that appears in your mind, but Suguru's. The memory of his kiss, the way he touched you, and the passion in his eyes during those "practice" sessions flood your senses. Despite your best efforts to think of Yū, it's Suguru's name that slips from your lips in a soft, involuntary moan. Your touch becomes more urgent, your body responding to the memory of his embrace rather than your boyfriend's. As you reach your climax, the guilt crashes over you like a wave. The stark realization hits you that your desires have shifted, and you're no longer sure who holds the key to your heart. The lines between friendship and love have become blurred, you need to confront your feelings and face the consequences, no matter how painful it may be.

The next day, you find yourself back at Suguru's dorm room door, feeling both nervous and aroused. You've been craving the intimacy you shared during your "practice session," and you know that he's the only one who can give it to you. This time, you don't bother to knock; you just walk in and step inside. He's sitting at his desk, engrossed in a book, but looks up when he hears you enter. "Hey," he says casually, but his brows furrow when he sees the look on your face. "What's wrong?"

"I... I need more practice," you say, your voice quiet. The words hang in the air, as Suguru sets his book aside, his gaze pinning onto you as he stands up and walks over to you. "Are you sure about this?" he asks, his voice laced with concern. You nod, unable to hide the desperation in your eyes, he sighs, understanding what you're going through, no matter how happy he feels - especially after months of loving and craving you. "Alright," he says, his voice serious. "But remember, we're just friends, okay?"

Without waiting for your response, he takes your hand and leads you to the bed. Your heart races as you sit down, knowing that what you're about to do is wrong, but you can't seem to help yourself. Suguru sits beside you, his hand resting on your knee. He leans in and whispers, "What do you want to learn today?"

You take a deep breath and look into his eyes. "Something more than kissing," you murmur,  looking down. He nods slowly, as his hand moves up to cup your cheek. "Then, let's get started your today's lesson."

And with that, the line between your friendship with Suguru was crossed with no point of return. His lips are on yours, his hands exploring your body in a way that Yū never has, and you can't help but wonder if this is where you truly belong. The guilt is pushed out by the overwhelming pleasure of the moment. As you kiss him deeply, his hands are slowly going under the rim of your shirt, gently touching the skin under it.

The warmth of his touch makes you lean into him, eager to feel more. Suguru's hands continue to roam, his fingertips tracing the curves of your body, you find yourself responding to his touch, your body arching towards him as he takes off your shirt and throws it on the floor, revealing your breasts to the soft light of the room. He looks at you with a mix of awe and hunger, after all his waiting. He leans in to kiss your neck, his breath hot against your skin as he whispers, "Do you like it?" You nod, your voice barely a whimper as he takes one of your breasts in his hand, his thumb teasing your nipple until it's a hard peak. The pleasure is intense, and you can't help but moan his name, the sound echoing through the quiet room. His mouth follows his hand, capturing your nipple in a gentle suck that sends bolts of pleasure through your body, making you squirm with need. The reality of what you're doing hits you, but the desire is too strong to resist. You're lost in the moment, your body craving the connection that Suguru provides, even as your mind reels with the thought of what this means for your relationship with Yū. 

As Suguru's kisses and caresses grew bolder, your body was responding to his every touch with fervor. You found yourself craving more, leaning into his embrace as he navigated places nobody touched you before. You reached up to tangle your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer as you arched your back, giving him access to your neck. His hand trailed down your stomach, and you felt your breath hitch when he took off your shirt, letting it fall to the floor. Your heart raced as he kissed you, his hand moving to cup your heat through your shorts, his thumb circling the clit, hid behind the fabric, that was begging for his touch. Your breaths came in shallow panting as you felt craving more and more of his touch. 

Without breaking the kiss, Suguru's hand slipped under the waistband of your shorts, his fingers finding the wetness of your pussy. He groaned into your mouth as he felt the heat and wetness, his desire for you growing even stronger. He gently pushed aside the fabric and began to stroke you lightly, his thumb circling your clit. You moaned into his mouth, your body trembling as he teased you closer to the edge. Then, with a sudden urgency, he broke the kiss and moved down, his mouth replacing his hand as he slowly licked and kissed along your inner thighs, his warm breath making you shiver. When his tongue finally reached your core, you couldn't hold back the gasp that escaped your lips. He took his time, savoring every inch of you, his tongue flicking against your clit in a way that made your toes curl. The sensation was new and overwhelming, and you felt your body tense up as the pleasure built inside of you. You gripped his hair tightly. Suguru looked up at you, his eyes sparkling as he was now pussy drunk on you. Something he wanted for so long, now happening.

As Suguru's tongue bullied your clit, he gently inserted one finger into your tight, virgin pussy, feeling you tense around him. He moved slowly, giving you time to adjust to the new sensation. His eyes never left yours, he watched as you bit your lip and your breathing grew erratic. He knew he had to be delicate, but he also knew that he wanted to show you how much he wanted you to break in his hands. As he continued to explore you with his mouth and finger, the pleasure grew more intense, and you felt yourself getting closer. Yū and your relationship with him were pushed away as your body focused only on Suguru and his touch. This was a moment you never thought you'd experience with only Yū, but here you are, with your best friend between your legs. His movements grew more confident, his finger moving in and out of you with a gentle rhythm that matched the flicks of his tongue. You couldn't hold back anymore, and with a strangled cry, you came for the first time with someone else's touch. Suguru looked up at you, his face glistening with your juices, a smug smile playing on his lips as he knew he was the only one to make you feel this way. He gently kissed your inner thigh before pulling away, leaning over you, and letting you taste the sweet juices on his tongue while his hands quickly took away your and his underwear. 

Suguru pulled back, breaking the kiss just to reach into his drawer, and pull out a condom. You watched him, your heart racing as he rolled it on, his dick ready with need, precum dripping from his tip. "I'm just gonna rub," he murmured, his voice thick with desire. "You'll go all the way with Yū." He kissed you again, his hand guiding his cock to your entrance. With a gentle push, he began to rub against you, the friction sending pleasure through your body. Suguru leaned down, leaving kisses all over you as he continued to rub, his cock teasingly sliding against your wetness without entering you.

The pleasure grew unbearable as Suguru's cock slid against your pussy and clit, and before you knew it, the tip of him accidentally slipped inside of you. You gasped into his mouth while frowning and he froze for a moment, looking into your eyes with a mix of shock and concern. "It's your fault," he murmured against your lips, "you're too wet." You couldn't find the words to protest as he gently pressed his soft lips against your forehead. The initial pain was overwhelming, but it soon gave way to a deeper, more intense pleasure as he stretched you out. His eyes never left yours, searching for any sign of distress, but all he found was the same yearning that reflected in his own. He began to move slowly, letting you get used to the feeling of him inside you, his movements tender and deliberate. With each stroke, the pain subsided, and the pleasure grew until it was all you could feel. You wrapped your legs around him, urging him closer, repeating his name as if it was a prayer. Suguru's breathing grew ragged, his eyes glazed over with passion as he claimed you fully, his cock sliding in and out with ease now. Your body felt like it was on fire, every nerve ending alight with sensation as he pushed you towards the orgasm once again. It was at this moment that you knew the truth of your heart, that no matter how much you cared for Yū, it was Suguru who truly made you feel alive and wanted. And as you reached your peak, your walls tightening around him, he looked at you with a smug smile.

Suguru's hips began to move with more urgency, his cock plunging into you with a steady rhythm that had you digging your nails into his muscular upper arms. You moaned loudly as his movements grew stronger and more erratic. The sounds of your moans and his grunts filled the room, mixing with the slick sounds of skin on skin and the wet sloppy sound of his pretty dick bullying you. His hands gripped tightly your breasts as his lips clashed against yours. Each thrust seemed to be claiming you, marking you as his. Despite the guilt that lurked in the back of your mind, you couldn't deny the feeling of rightness that accompanied his touch. The pleasure was like nothing you'd ever felt before, and you knew at that moment that you'd never be able to go back to the way things were with Yū. You were lost in Suguru. And as he reached his climax, filling the condom with his warmth, you felt the first crack in the dam holding back your rationality. This was where you belonged, wrapped in his arms, not Yū's. 

As Suguru's thrusts slowed and his breathing evened out, you clung to him, your legs tightly wound around his waist pushing him deeper in you. The tears streamed down your cheeks. You kissed him desperately, each kiss tasted of salt and love, a bittersweet reminder of the secret you now had to carry. You knew you had crossed a line, one that could never be uncrossed, and yet you felt an overwhelming need to be closer to him still. As he pulled out, the emptiness inside you was unbearable, a contrast to the warmth that had filled you so completely. 

You looked up at Suguru, your eyes shimmering with a mix of emotions. "What will you teach me next?" you ask quietly. Suguru's expression was a blend of satisfaction and love. He leaned down and kissed you gently, tasting the salty traces of your tears on your lips. "We'll figure it out," he murmured, his voice soothing. "But for now, let's just enjoy the moment." He pulled you into a warm embrace, his arms enveloping you as if he didn't want to let you go back to Yū, greedily wanting to keep you only for himself. The comfort of his touch was undeniable, and you couldn't help but melt into his arms. 

As the days went by, the weight of your secret grew heavier with each passing moment. You knew you couldn't continue like this, living a lie with Yū while your heart and body craved Suguru's touch. After a sleepless night, you made the painful decision to end things with Yū. It was a decision that was necessary. 

The next day, you gather your courage and head to Yū's dorm room, your heart heavy with the weight of your decision. You know this conversation will be difficult, but you can't ignore the truth any longer and live in this situation - forcing yourself and lying to him. Knocking softly, you enter, and he looks up from his bed, a smile fading as he reads the seriousness on your face. You sit down beside him, your hands trembling slightly. "Yū," you begin, "I need to tell you something." He sits up and looks at you with eyes full of concern. "What is it?" he asks gently. You take a deep breath, feeling the tears threaten to spill over. "I've been thinking a lot, and I don't think I can be the girlfriend you deserve," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. His expression falls, and he takes your hand in his, squeezing it tightly. "What do you mean?" he asks, his voice cracking. You look down at your lap, unable to meet his eyes. "I've realized that... We don't really match," you confess, the words feeling like a betrayal as they leave your lips. Yū's hand goes slack in yours, and the room is filled with a deafening silence. "I'm so sorry, Yū. I never meant for this to happen. I think we should break up," you murmur, your voice breaking. "But we'll still be friends, right?" The desperate hope in his eyes breaks your heart even further. You nod, unable to speak, as he pulls you into a tight hug. You can feel his shoulders shaking with silent sobs, and you know that this is the end of the relationship you once cherished. But deep down, you can't help but feel a spark of excitement, knowing that now, you're one step closer to exploring the love that has been growing between you and Suguru.

The days that followed were filled with a whirlwind of emotions as you and Suguru explored the new depth of your close relationship. Every touch, every kiss, every whispered word was laced with a mix of passion and love. He was tender and attentive, eager to learn your every want and need, making sure each moment was as perfect as the last. The guilt of your past with Yū was slowly replaced by the warmth and love that Suguru brought into your life. You found yourself blossoming under his affection, feeling cherished and desired in ways you never had before. Each time you looked into his eyes, you saw a reflection of the love that was growing stronger with every shared secret and every intimate moment. The world around you was painted in vibrant colors, and every step you took together felt like the start of an adventure. Suguru had become your anchor, and you knew that no matter what the future held, you two found each other forever as the red string would keep you together.

[yoshhii]

tw! abuse/controlling themes.

IT FELT LIKE ONLY YESTERDAY WHEN THE TWO OF YOU FIRST CONFESSED. he had taken you to a park near a lake, where cherry blossom petals floated through the air, carried by the gentle breeze. the setting sun painted the sky in hues of orange and pink, casting a warm light over everything. you both stood beneath the blooming trees, gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes.

slowly he raised his right hand and gently cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing over your soft skin. you knew exactly what he wanted, and without hesitation, you closed your eyes, and leaned forward.

when your lips finally met, it felt like the world around you faded into the background, leaving only the two of you. the kiss was soft and sweet, full of the unspoken feelings you had both been holding back for so long. as his lips left yours, you opened your eyes to find a gentle smile on his face.

this was the moment you had been waiting for, the one you had imagined countless times. after all the teasing, the lingering touches, and the stolen glances, you had finally shared your first kiss. his soft chuckle broke the silence, he opened his mouth and finally said the words he’d been holding back to speak.

“i love you, (y/n).”

you couldn’t help but smile as his cheeks flushed a deep red, his gaze dropping shyly to the ground. it was obvious he was embarrassed to say it, and that only made the moment sweeter.

with a warmth blooming in your chest, you opened your mouth, your voice calm and sweet.

“i love you too.”

but that was only a longing memory.

everything felt easy then, simple, carefree. his love was a bright, something that made you feel safe.

but over time, the warmth in his voice faded. it wasn’t noticeable at first—the way he would always ask where you were going, who you were with, what time you should be home. he framed it as concern, his eyes soft, his words still loving. you told yourself it was just because he cared. because who wouldn’t look out for the one you love, right?

only then did his “concern” grew sharper, his tone more insistent. he started waiting for you if you stayed out late, calling your phone multiple times, asking why you haven’t called as soon as you left your friends.

“ i don’t understand, they’re just my friends and i don’t hang out with them as much as i used too. they’ll help me out if i’m in danger, what’s the harm in that?” you tried argue.

his angry demeanor quickly turned into an unreadable one.

“i just worry about you, that’s all,” he said pulling you into his arms. but there was a tension in the way he held you, a possessiveness that made your stomach twist.

“i’m fine,” you whispered, though you weren’t sure if you were convincing him or yourself.

you pressed your back against the cold brick wall of the alley, trying to steady your ragged breaths, but all you could hear was the pounding of your heart, echoing in the narrow space like a drumbeat of panic.

you messed up…

you were done with him, done with his possessiveness, his suffocating control.

so you ran, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he would let you go. but you knew better. he would never leave you alone. he had killed your friends to prove that point, tearing them from you because they dared to help. that monster took them because you had tried to escape.

the sounds footsteps broke your train of thoughts.

no...

there was no way it could be him. you had ran for hours, weaving through streets, slipping into corners. how could he find you now?

“there’s no point in running dear…” his chilling voice cut through the silence.

your blood turned to ice. panic surged through your veins. you had to keep moving there was no one here to help you, no one to hear you scream. you had no one to rely on but yourself. with a desperate gasp, you turned and bolted further into the alley, darting around corners in a frantic attempt to lose him.

you were quick, but he was quicker.

suddenly a hand harshly yanked your hair, you let out a yelp and desperately clawed at his hands but his grip only got tighter. you could only scream and beg for him

to let you go. but that only seemed to amuse him.

with a swift motion he pulled your head back, forcing you to look up at him.

“shhhhh we wouldn’t want to bring any unwanted attention now do we?”

his eyes were darker now, colder. the man you used to know seemed so far away.

“let’s get you back home now, do you know how dangerous it is for you to be alone at this time of night?” he said it as if he was mocking you, daring you to try and run again.

he let go of your hair and took a few steps back, watching you with that same unreadable expression. your legs gave out beneath you, and you crumpled to the ground. you couldn't go back, locked up in his house, in his room, playing by his rules.

you slowly felt tears form in your eyes, threatening to fall against your cheek.

“why….” you started, voice barely above a whisper,

“why are you doing this…?”

a cruel smile spreaded across his lips, slowly walking back towards you.

“don’t you see (y/n) i do this to protect you away from the outside dangers, i do this so that you’re safe, and i do it because…”

he leaned down, his lips brushing your ear. “i love you,” his voice cold as ice, it sent a shiver down your spine not from affection, but from fear.

katsuki bakugo, dabi, tomura shigaraki, overhaul, shinshou, monoma, dio, kira yoshikage, pucci, funny valentine, diavolo/doppio, bruno bucciarati, abbacchio, joseph joestar, rohan, kaeya, diluc, childe, ayato, alhaithem, lyney, neuvillette, heizou + whoever you think fits !

[splashstar01]

MBTIs of BBC's Merlin & Arthur Pendragon

Arthur Pendragon (ISTJ)

Introverted (I): Now I know many people see him as an extrovert. I argue he plays extroverted out of necessity. Although Arthur is often in the spotlight due to his royal position, he tends to process emotions and decisions internally. He’s reserved about personal feelings, often keeping a stoic exterior, particularly in moments of vulnerability. His introversion explains why in season 4 finale (the show only has 5 seasons), he told Merlin that Merlin was still his only friend, despite the fact that all the Knights of the Round had already been established! He clearly differentiates knights who would willingly give their lives from real friends. Arthur is so private that he doesn't even tell his wife things. In season 5, she casually said, "Arthur never tells me anything." Arthur only really lets Merlin in. (Because he loves Merlin, duh. lol)

Sensing (S): Arthur is pragmatic and focused on the present. He has a strong sense of duty and tradition, often valuing tangible results and sticking to established systems, like the chivalric code and the duties of being a king.

Thinking (T): He makes decisions based on logic and duty rather than emotions. Arthur strives to do what is right for Camelot and tends to focus on rationality when dealing with political and military matters, even if it means setting aside personal attachments.

Judging (J): Arthur values structure and order. He is disciplined, prefers routines, and is committed to fulfilling his responsibilities as a king. He can be strict, both with himself and others, expecting everyone to uphold the same level of duty.

Merlin (ENFP)

Extraverted (E): I have heard some parts of fandom say Merlin is introverted.... But Merlin has to be the friendliest, most outgoing and open character on the show! Merlin effortlessly connects with others. He’s warm, often initiating interactions with various people across all social classes, and enjoys forming deep bonds with those around him. Basically, the complete opposite of Arthur. Arthur's top knights, Lancelot and Gwaine, became knights for Merlin, because of their friendship with him! Merlin at his best is a happy, bubbly dude!

Intuitive (N): Merlin looks beyond the surface and sees potential and possibilities. He is often focused on his vision for the future, specifically the destiny he believes Arthur must fulfill, and tends to think about the broader implications of events.

Feeling (F): Merlin makes decisions based on his emotions and values. He is compassionate and deeply cares about the people he loves, even risking his life to protect them. His empathy drives many of his actions, as he is guided by his heart rather than just logic.

Perceiving (P): Merlin is adaptable and flexible. He thrives in chaotic situations, often relying on his quick thinking to solve problems on the fly. Unlike Arthur, Merlin isn't tied to structure and routine, preferring to go with the flow and adjust his plans as circumstances change.

Even being complete opposites (they don't have a single common letter in their MBTI), Arthur and Merlin's personalities complement each other in a way that makes their relationship dynamic, powerful, and balanced. Despite their differences, these contrasts are what strengthen their bond, making them effective as partners and allowing them to grow as individuals.

How their MBTIs shaped their love story:

1. Arthur (ISTJ) – Duty vs. Love

Arthur’s ISTJ personality makes him deeply rooted in duty and tradition, which often conflicts with his personal feelings. As a king-in-waiting, he’s bound by the rules and expectations of Camelot. This sense of responsibility prevents him from openly expressing his affection for Merlin, a commoner and servant.

Suppressed feelings: Arthur’s introversion and thinking function push him to hide his emotions, especially his care and affection for Merlin. His loyalty to his role as prince often conflicts with his deeper, unspoken feelings for Merlin. Arthur’s rational side forces him to focus on the kingdom, keeping his emotions hidden beneath his duty to the crown.

Traditional values: As an ISTJ, Arthur’s sense of tradition keeps him from crossing the boundaries of class and status. His love for Merlin, if fully acknowledged, would defy these societal norms, and his reluctance to embrace that love fully reflects his fear of breaking those structures.

2. Merlin (ENFP) – Love as a Driving Force

Merlin’s ENFP personality is more openly emotional and driven by personal values. His feeling and perceiving traits allow him to express affection, even though it’s subtle and often masked in humor or banter. Merlin constantly shows his love and devotion to Arthur by risking his life to protect him and ensuring Arthur’s destiny as king.

Boundless loyalty: Merlin’s deep emotional attachment to Arthur is clear, as he constantly sacrifices his own desires, hiding his magic and risking his safety to ensure Arthur’s survival. His ENFP idealism drives his belief in Arthur as the Once and Future King, and this belief is tied deeply to Merlin’s personal love for him. The idealism of an ENFP is evident in how Merlin sees the bigger picture of Arthur’s destiny but is also fueled by his personal love and emotional bond.

Unconditional care: While Arthur struggles to show emotions, Merlin’s extraverted nature makes it easier for him to express affection through acts of service. He remains unwavering in his commitment to Arthur, which highlights the ENFP’s ability to love deeply and unconditionally, even when the other person may not fully reciprocate outwardly.

3. Their Banter – The ENFP vs. ISTJ Communication Style

The teasing and banter between Arthur and Merlin highlight their different communication styles. Merlin’s ENFP warmth and humor frequently bring out Arthur’s softer, more human side. Arthur’s ISTJ personality makes him reluctant to openly express affection, so their teasing and sarcastic exchanges become a way to communicate affection indirectly. The playful insults act as a cover for their deeper bond.

Arthur’s respect for Merlin grows over time, despite his reserved demeanor, and Merlin’s ability to challenge him emotionally helps Arthur soften. Their banter is more than comedic relief; it shows how they communicate their care for one another in a way that feels safe and acceptable.

4. Trust and Emotional Vulnerability

Arthur (ISTJ) is slow to trust others with his vulnerabilities, given his reliance on structure and duty. But over the course of the series, he opens up to Merlin more than anyone else, showing a side of himself that he hides from everyone, including his wife and family members (like Morgana and Uther). Merlin’s warmth and loyalty gradually create a space where Arthur can be emotionally vulnerable.

Merlin (ENFP), in contrast, is more expressive and emotionally open from the beginning. His challenge lies in getting Arthur to see past his role as a servant and accept him as an equal in friendship—and potentially in love. Merlin consistently puts Arthur first, and Arthur, in return, eventually trusts Merlin above all others, including knights and advisors.

5. Protectiveness and Sacrifice

Arthur’s ISTJ sense of duty makes him protective of those he cares about, even if he doesn’t vocalize it. His actions speak louder than words, as he consistently risks his life for Merlin. This protectiveness is a manifestation of his deep, unspoken love for Merlin. However, Arthur often couches these actions in the context of duty—saying he would do the same for anyone in Camelot—when, in reality, Merlin holds a special place in his heart. He was about to abort a mission, causing hundreds of deaths, all for Merlin. Also, in one scene, as they were fleeing from a monster, Merlin fell and Arthur went back for him, a mere "idiot" servant. In that same scene, a knight fell (knights are the bread & butter of Camelot), but Arthur just kept running with Merlin....

Merlin (ENFP), with his focus on emotions and the bigger picture, sacrifices everything for Arthur. His feeling-based decisions make his love for Arthur a central motivation for everything he does, even if it means hiding his magic and true self. This constant self-sacrifice for Arthur’s sake is a key expression of Merlin’s love, a classic ENFP trait—giving up his own needs for those of someone he cares deeply about.

6. Destiny and Fate – The ENFP Belief in Idealism

Merlin’s ENFP idealism sees Arthur as not just a king but the Once and Future King, destined to unite Albion. This belief in Arthur's potential drives Merlin’s unwavering devotion, and his love for Arthur is inseparable from his belief in their shared destiny. Merlin’s visions of a better future are rooted in his love for Arthur, and it’s his idealism that keeps him fighting for that future.

Arthur (ISTJ), being more grounded, is less concerned with abstract concepts like destiny and fate at first, but over time, Merlin’s unwavering belief in him helps Arthur grow into the king Merlin always knew he could be. Arthur begins to rely on Merlin’s intuition and instincts more and more, eventually embracing the destiny Merlin foresaw for him. Though Arthur may not openly express it, he comes to understand that Merlin’s faith in him is born out of deep love.

7. The Final Goodbye – An Emotional Climax

The emotional 'I love you': In the final episode, Arthur’s ISTJ stoicism breaks as he finally acknowledges the depth of his bond with Merlin. When Merlin reveals his magic, Arthur is hurt and betrayed at first (typical ISTJ reaction to broken trust), but eventually, he softens, realizing that Merlin has been protecting him all along. In his final moments, Arthur shows his vulnerability, thanking Merlin for everything—a rare moment of emotional openness for him. He simultaneously mouths 'I love you.'

Throughout the series, Arthur’s ISTJ sense of responsibility made it difficult for him to prioritize his personal feelings over his role as king. But as he faces death, duty and love become inseparable. His final act of trying to kiss Merlin shows that, even though he had been bound by the expectations of the crown, in his last moments, his love for Merlin overrides those constraints. His inability to express affection easily is part of his ISTJ personality, but in his final moments, he sheds that restraint, finally allowing himself to express what he’s likely felt for a long time. For Arthur to mouth 'I love you", even silently, is monumental. It’s a complete surrender of the emotional guard he’s maintained, signifying not just love but trust, vulnerability, and a breaking of the social norms and responsibilities that have constrained him. The fact that he chooses to say it at the very end shows that he always cared deeply for Merlin, but only now, when there’s nothing left to hold him back, can he express it.

Arthur, having always struggled to communicate his feelings, finally mouths the words "I love you" when it’s too late to make a difference. This is reflective of his ISTJ personality—he needed to be pushed to the very brink of death before he could allow himself to be emotionally vulnerable and express his love. The timing makes this moment all the more tragic because Arthur had to die before truly opening up.

The almost-kiss: Arthur’s instinct to pull Merlin in for a kiss reflects the ISTJ desire to do things physically, practically, and decisively, even in the most emotional moments. It also shows how Arthur, who had been in control of so much of his life, wanted to take control of this final expression of love. Yet, his inability to complete the kiss mirrors his inability to fully express his love for Merlin throughout their time together—blocked by the weight of his responsibilities as king.

For Arthur, to attempt to kiss Merlin in his final moments is a gesture of complete vulnerability. An ISTJ like Arthur rarely breaks emotional barriers, but in this moment, he lets go of everything—the crown, his duties, his stoic exterior—and reaches for the person who has always been there for him. It’s the ultimate sacrifice of his own emotional walls.

Arthur’s attempt to kiss Merlin shows that he is finally willing to defy the traditions and expectations that have held him back for so long. As a prince and then a king, he was expected to follow societal norms, but in his final moments, he’s free of those chains and can express his love for Merlin without fear of judgment or duty holding him back. The kiss is the ultimate acknowledgment of the love he had hidden behind his royal duties.

Throughout the series, Arthur has hidden his true feelings for Merlin behind duty, status, and responsibility. His inability to express affection easily is part of his ISTJ personality, but in his final moments, he sheds that restraint, finally allowing himself to express what he’s likely felt for a long time. As he faces death, duty and love become inseparable. His final act of trying to kiss Merlin shows that, even though he had been bound by the expectations of the crown, in his last moments, his love for Merlin overrides those constraints. Arthur, true to his ISTJ nature, often preferred action over verbal declarations of emotion. By attempting to physically pull Merlin in for a kiss, Arthur shows that his love for Merlin transcends words—it's something he feels deeply and wants to express through connection, even when he doesn't have the words to say it outright.

Merlin's internal turmoil: As an ENFP, Merlin had always worn his heart on his sleeve, even when his love for Arthur was expressed through loyalty, service, and protection. The fact that Arthur finally mouths "I love you" just as he's dying would shatter Merlin’s heart, as it represents the culmination of everything Merlin had been hoping for but never dared to fully expect. Merlin, the dreamer and idealist, had believed in Arthur’s greatness, and now, in this moment, Arthur’s love is revealed, only for it to be taken away immediately in the "bury (or kill) your gays" trope.

For Merlin, the attempted kiss is heartbreaking because it represents the closeness and intimacy they could have had if circumstances were different, as Merlin said, "I always thought if things had been different, we'd've been good friends." ENFPs, with their emotional expressiveness, seek connection and intimacy in their relationships, and Arthur’s attempt to kiss him in his final moments is a bittersweet acknowledgment of the love that Merlin had always known was there, but could never be fully realized. The fact that they were so close to expressing that love makes the loss all the more devastating for Merlin.

A Tragic Love Story Cut Short

The final scene where Arthur mouths "I love you" and attempts to kiss Merlin before dying is the ultimate expression of their hidden, unspoken love. Arthur’s ISTJ personality, which had kept his emotions guarded for so long, finally breaks, allowing him to express his true feelings. Meanwhile, Merlin’s ENFP nature, always driven by emotion and idealism, is left devastated by the cruel timing of this revelation.

Their MBTI types add layers to this tragic love story. Arthur’s love, expressed at the very end, shows how hard it was for him to balance duty and emotion, while Merlin’s eternal grief reflects the ENFP’s idealistic belief in love, crushed by the harsh reality that they were too late. Their love was always there, simmering beneath the surface, but in the end, fate allowed only a fleeting moment of acknowledgment before tearing them apart.

After Credits/The Once & Future King:

1. Merlin’s ENFP Hope and Eternal Longing

Driven by Idealism: Merlin’s ENFP personality is defined by hope and idealism, traits that keep him believing in Arthur’s eventual return. Even though Arthur died, Merlin’s unwavering belief in the prophecy—that Arthur will rise again—fuels his determination to keep waiting. For Merlin, his love for Arthur and his faith in the prophecy are intertwined, so he continues to hold onto the belief that their story isn’t over.

Endless Loyalty: ENFPs are known for their loyalty to people they care deeply about, and Merlin’s waiting for over 1,500 years is the ultimate expression of that loyalty. He never moves on, because his heart and soul remain connected to Arthur, and he believes that their bond transcends death and time itself.

Living in Grief and Hope: As a feeler, Merlin experiences the full emotional weight of Arthur’s loss, but his belief in Arthur’s return sustains him. The fact that he has to wait so long makes his grief even more intense, but the hope that Arthur will rise again keeps him going, even after centuries of loneliness. His ENFP nature ensures that his love for Arthur never fades, and he continues to hold onto the possibility of their reunion.

2. Arthur’s ISTJ Rest and Duty to Return

Waiting for the Right Moment: Arthur’s ISTJ personality means that, even in death, he is waiting until the precise moment when he is needed most. His sense of duty to Camelot and to Merlin persists, even after death, as he waits for the time when his kingdom—or Merlin—truly requires him. The prophecy reflects Arthur’s ISTJ nature, as he will return to fulfill his duty, not a moment too soon or too late.

Faith in Merlin: Even in the afterlife, Arthur’s deep trust in Merlin remains. Although he is resting, there is an unspoken understanding that when he rises, Merlin will be by his side, just as he always has been. Arthur’s loyalty and sense of responsibility mean that he trusts Merlin to carry on until the moment of his return.

The Final Act of Duty and Love: Arthur’s rise will be his final act of duty as king and as a friend and lover. His ISTJ sense of purpose and structure drives his eventual return, knowing that Merlin and the kingdom will need him again. When he does come back, it will be out of love for Merlin and a deep sense of responsibility to his people.

3. A Love That Survives Time

Merlin’s Endless Vigil: For over 1,500 years, Merlin has waited, watching the world change, but his love for Arthur remains constant. His ENFP personality clings to the belief that the prophecy will come true, and when Arthur finally returns, it will be the culmination of centuries of waiting. Merlin’s idealism, rooted in his deep emotional connection to Arthur, sustains him through time. He doesn’t seek out other connections because, in his heart, Arthur is the one he’s waiting for.

Arthur’s Timeless Love: Even though Arthur is resting, his love for Merlin isn’t diminished by time. When he returns, his ISTJ loyalty will kick in, and he will fulfill his promise—coming back to be with Merlin and to save the kingdom when it’s needed most. His return is not just a matter of destiny, but also a testament to the bond he shares with Merlin, one that surpasses life, death, and time itself.

4. The Ultimate Reunion

The Prophecy Fulfilled: When Merlin and Arthur finally reunite after over a millennium, the moment will be one of overwhelming emotional release for both. Merlin, with his ENFP emotions, will have spent centuries holding onto hope, and Arthur’s return will be the answer to his deepest longing. The reunion will allow Merlin to finally let go of the grief he’s carried for centuries, knowing that Arthur is back by his side, just as he always believed he would be.

Arthur’s ISTJ Return to Duty: Arthur’s return will be a moment of intense duty and purpose, but also of love. His ISTJ nature ensures that he will rise again when Merlin (the last remaining piece of Albion) needs him most. Their reunion will be both the fulfillment of a prophecy and the completion of their love story.

5. Symbolism of Eternal Love

Waiting as a Form of Love: Merlin’s long wait for Arthur shows that love isn’t confined to one lifetime. His waiting is a manifestation of his deep, undying love, and it reflects the ENFP’s capacity for emotional endurance. Even though he’s spent centuries alone, his heart remains tethered to Arthur, and when Arthur finally returns, it will be a moment of profound emotional catharsis.

Arthur’s Duty Transcends Time: Arthur’s ISTJ sense of duty extends beyond the grave, showing that his bond with Merlin is eternal. His return will not just be about fulfilling his destiny as king, but also about being reunited with Merlin, the person who has always been by his side. This reunion will be the ultimate proof that their love and duty to each other cannot be broken by death or time.

Conclusion: A Love That Defies Time

The prophecy of Arthur’s return turns their story into an eternal love saga. Merlin, driven by his ENFP idealism and emotional depth, waits for centuries, believing in the prophecy and holding onto the love he has for Arthur. Arthur, waiting in Avalon, as the prophecy foretold, remains loyal to his duty and his love for Merlin, waiting for the moment when he is needed most.

When they are finally reunited, it will be a moment of ultimate emotional release, where centuries of love, hope, and loyalty finally come together. Their story is one of timeless love, with their bond surviving beyond life and death, waiting to be fulfilled in a future where they can be together once again.

[volklana]

Glorious

Title Comes From This Song:

Request: I decided to combine these two-

-Could I please request a modern Sihtric who is clearly suffering from PTSD because let's be honest he would. And he keeps trying to push you away because he thinks he's too much to handle

-I'd love a fluffy first date Sihtric x reader fic. With all the creative freedom to you!

Warnings: Mentions PTSD and smoking

You leaned against the brick wall, trying your friend’s phone number only for it to once again ring out, and you sighed, hugging your top against your body to try fight back at the cold a bit. 

The club was going to be closing any minute now and you had no idea where your friend had gone to, and truth be told this wasn’t the first time she had done this to you. 

You put your phone back in your purse and weighed up your options, you could hang out in this ally (a side door off the club) another little while longer in the hopes she got back to you before the club closed, or you could admit defeat that she had gone home with some guy and hail yourself a cab home alone.

You tried her one more time, and this time you really did feel like crying.

You had only come out tonight for her, even though you had been really going through it lately, she had managed, as always, to guilt trip you into going out to the club, and now here you were alone and depressingly drunk and she was nowhere to be seen.

“Are you okay?” a voice suddenly called through the depths of your despair and you turned your head to find the most beautiful man you had ever seen propped up against the wall, leaning on one leg, inhaling a cigarette and looking at you with big worried eyes.

You shook your head sadly and he pushed himself away from the wall and came towards you.

“Do you need help?” he asked kindly and you shook your head softly but accepted the cigarette he offered you anyway, dipping your head towards the flame of his lighter to light it.

“My friend has abandoned me,” you offered as an explanation after you exhaled, “She always does this shit to me and yet I never learn.” 

“Sounds like a shitty friend,” he said truthfully, but sadly and you nodded because he was right.

“You got anyone else you can call?” he asked and you smiled at him, but shook your head.

“I’ll be okay, I’ll get a cab.”

“Is that safe? On your own?” he asked, looking into your eyes with concern and it was only then in that light that you realised he had two different coloured eyes, one a bright blue and the other a honey brown.

An expression you could not quite read crossed his face and you realised you had been staring, and you snapped to your senses “I’ll be okay,” you repeated once again but he didn’t look convinced.

“Sihtric!” a stern voice called from the doorway and he snapped to attention immediately, “Break time is over get your ass inside.”

The door slammed and Sihtric stomped his cigarette out. 

“I’ve gotta go,” he rushed “But I really wish you wouldn’t get a taxi alone,” he added “I would offer to walk you home but I gotta do the close up.”

You smiled, heart genuinely warmed by his concern and maybe it was the drink, or maybe it was because no one had shown genuine care for you in a long time, but you pushed up onto your tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “You are a kind man Sihtric, but I will be fine.”

You both made your way towards the door and Sihtric reached for your arm, “I didn’t catch your name,” he rushed and you giggled “It’s y/n,” before you headed back upstairs to the dancefloor and he watched you go before he made his way back into the bar. But he repeated your name in his mind over and over again so he would not forget.

“And you just let her go?” Osferth asked, wiping down tables, while Sihtric was cleaning glasses.

“Ya didn’t even ask for her number?” Finan quirked his head up from where he was counting tills and Sihtric deadpanned.

“It wasn’t like that guys, she wasn’t even interested in me.”

And even if she was, he thought she is too good for me.

“No?” Osferth smirked, catching Finan’s eye “But you were interested in her!” 

“Oh shut up I don’t know why I even told you guys,” Sihtric snapped, his cheeks tinged red with embarrassment.

“We’re not open yet, love,” Finan said, startled to have found a shy figure in front of the bar when he emerged from the cellar with a crate of beer in hand.

“I know,” you said shyly “But I was wondering if maybe Sihtric was here?”

Finan stopped in his tracks and a sad smile broke out across his face “He’s off today love, he won’t be back until tomorrow.”

You almost stood to attention and repositioned your bag on your shoulder as you rushed out “Okay, that’s no problem.”

“I could call him for you if you need him?” he offered and you shook your head profusely “No, no don’t bother him on his day off, it was honestly nothing. I’ll just be on my way.” 

“Wait. Woah, just hold on there a second,” he pleaded, coming around the bar and halting your departure “Maybe I could give him your number? Tell him you were looking for him?”

You felt suddenly embarrassed and foolish. Would he even remember who you were from the brief conversation you’d had a few nights ago. He was absolutely gorgeous; he must have girls queuing up to talk to him all the time. Damn was he even single?

But you suddenly realised Finan was still in front of you waiting for an answer and you nodded shyly “Sure,” and accepted the notepad and pen he handed you and scribbled your name and number, and you scarpered out before he you could change your mind it wasn’t until you left that a huge smile broke out across his face at the brackets beside your name (the girl from the ally)

Sihtric had barely hung up his leather jacket in the coat room when Finan burst in and scared him half to death. He chose not to make a big deal of the way he flinched so as not to embarrass him.

“Am I, or am I not your best friend?” he beamed and Sihtric looked at him dumbfounded.

“It’s a simple question, am I your best friend or not?”

“It depends on what you want.” Sihtric laughed.

“Ah but my friend it’s not a matter of what you can do for me, but rather what I can do for you,” he extended his hand and Sihtric locked in on the folded piece of paper in his hand.

“You only get this on the promise that you actually message her,” Sihtric nodded and unfolded the note, his heart beating a thousand beats a minute at your number.

He had searched the crowd for you every single night since your first encounter and he’d began to give up all hopes of finding you again.

He turned the crumpled piece of paper over and over in his hands on his break, trying to come up with what to say to you. Sihtric had never been confident with girls, he always fell easily, but could never fully open himself up to someone in case he got hurt, and he had spent his whole life being hurt.

He sent the message, a simple ‘Hey, this is Sihtric,’ and nearly vomited with anxiety.

“I’m so sorry, I’m not even sure what I was doing turning up like that yesterday,” you apologized and he couldn’t help the small smile and the way his heart fluttered “No, I’m so glad you did I was hoping I would bump into you again,” he replied honestly and you smiled in relief in your bed. 

You were surprised with how easily the conversation between you and Sihtric flowed, you were messaging non stop for days and then he called you unexpectedly on his walk home one night and you ended up talking way into the early hours of the morning. 

Days turned into a week or two, and you and Sihtrc never went a day without talking but thanks to his working evenings and weekends and your hectic job, it seemed impossible to plan a day to meet in person.

But soon calls were not enough and it turned into facetimes and you found yourself falling more and more for those eyes by the day.

Until you decided enough was enough and bit the bullet. 

“Are you working tonight?” you messaged as you were applying the finishing touches to your makeup. Your friend had once again begged you to come out, and this time you agreed, only with the hopes of seeing Sihtric again.

“I am love,” he replied sadly, “Did you want to call?”

You felt bad not replying, opting to hopefully surprise him when he saw you later. 

And his eyes nearly popped out of his head when you propped yourself up at the bar and asked for a drink.

“What are you doing here?” he beamed over the music and you swirled your straw around in your glass.

“My friend wanted to go out tonight, I think she’s got a new guy on the go.”

“And you?” he rushed, huge eyes taking in your club attire and his mouth went dry.

“I came here to meet a guy,” you teased and his heart fell into the pits of his stomach but he nodded quickly, hoping to mask his devastation. He didn’t.

“Sihtric,” you rushed, standing up and reaching for him “The guy I’ve come to meet is you!” You smiled up at him softly, realsing he had completely misunderstood you.

He looked to where your hand was in his and smiled shyly, twisting his hand to hold yours over the bar, and then brought your hand to his lips and placed a kiss there.

“Loverboy,” someone shouted and Sihtric sprang to attention “Could we get some shots over here?”

“I gotta-”

“Go- go!!” you urged laughing before making your way out onto the dancefloor. 

Sihtric kept his eyes trained on you all night, even though he was supposed to be working. He watched you beaming, smile contagious as you threw your hands up in the air, hair swishing to the beat and he was jealous. Jealous of everyone you danced with and jealous of how carefree you were, dancing as if nobody was looking. He realised with a gnawing feeling in his chest that you were free, truly free and it was a foreign concept to him. He was always on high alert, always awaiting the next danger, either real or perceived. 

He had always been like this. Clinging to the sidelines, watching from the safety of the shadows. Where he wouldn’t draw attention to himself, where he wouldn’t be perceived. 

You, on the other hand, you could let yourself be free, you let yourself live in the moment, not waiting for the next punch, the next fight or the next betrayal. He wondered briefly if his upbringing had been different, less violent, less hungry and less clinging to sheets in moldy apartments if he too could let himself go the way you did.  A deep sigh left his lips and he genuinely wondered if he could even have a place in your world, and then he felt selfish, maybe he should cut things off before he even tried to become part of your world, he would be a weight around your neck and he would never forgive himself if he was the reason you lost that sparkle in your eye. 

He jumped because Osferth was suddenly behind him and he hadn’t seen him approach, and he followed Sihtric’s  line of sight and smiled fondly when he saw you.

“I am under strict instructions to tell you that I am covering the rest of your shift and you are to go have fun.”

Sihtric whipped around and studied his young friend carefully, “But you never work the bar?”

“Tonight I do, so go and dance with your lady.” 

You watched in delight as Sihtric came out from behind the bar, and you fully expected him to make his way over to you but he walked right on past you towards the stairs and your stomach flopped a little. 

“The fuck is he doing?” Finan demanded and Osferth argued that he must be too nervous “Go after him. Please go after him,” he urged you from across the room and both of them silently cheered when you followed in his wake. 

You knew exactly where you would find him, out the side door smoking a cigarette and you were right.

“Did I make a mistake coming tonight?” you asked, voice small, “Sihtric we’ve been talking non stop. I just thought- I thought that you liked me,”

“I do,” he begged, turning to face you “I really like you. It’s me y/n,” he swallowed harshly and sighed, running his hands through his hair “I’m a lot okay? I’m carrying a lot of baggage, and I watched you tonight, look at you. You’re gorgeous.You’re a goddess and I will drag you down.” 

“So you’re bowing out before we’ve even tried?” you countered “You’d rather decide what I can handle for me instead of giving me the chance to make my own mind up?” 

He slumped against the wall, feeling like his heart was going to beat out of his chest, and you watched him in pain until you spoke again “Or are you bowing out first to try and protect yourself? It doesn’t hurt so much if you’re the one who decides it’s over first right?” 

Sihtric stopped breathing for a moment because he had never been read so clearly in all his life. You saw right through him.

“You don’t get it,” he said sadly “I can’t be carefree the way you are. I’m a lot to carry, I’m heavy and I’m- I think I’m fucked up, I’m different to everyone else.”

“Maybe I do get it,” you answered back “You’ve made up my story for me Sihtric but you don’t know the things I’ve come through to get to where I am right now, and I’m telling you this, you think you’re protecting your heart by shutting everyone out, but I promise you, you are only hurting yourself.” 

Sihtric considered you for a moment, eyes glassy before he blinked.

“You deserve someone- someone whole. Someone who hasn’t seen the things that I’ve seen, done the things that I’ve done. Don’t you get it? It’s not my heart I’m trying to protect, it’s yours. I don’t want to taint you with my darkness.” 

“Sihtric,” you cried, taking his hands in yours, delighted that he let you and didn’t pull away “I can’t even imagine what you’ve gone through to put up these walls and I’m not expecting you to just trust me, but can you trust that I am a big girl and I can handle a lot more than you think, and I would at least like to give us a try. Don’t you think we at least deserve to try?” 

Sihtric closed his eyes, head resting against the brick wall and you could feel his pulse, “I want to. I want to so fucking bad but I don’t know how to let you in,” he admitted. 

“Sihtric, look at me,” you pleaded and reluctantly he opened his eyes to meet yours “We don’t have to figure it all out tonight. All I ask is that you don’t push me away just because you’re scared?”

He nodded, eyes locked on yours “I’m sorry,” he told you gently, and you leaned up on your tiptoes to pull him into a hug.

“We haven’t even had a date yet and you’re already trying to get rid of me, that’s a new record, even for me.”

Sihtric laughed into your shoulder despite himself, and he released the breath he didn’t even know he was holding, feeling the tension leave his neck and shoulders.

“I did try to tell you I was a lot,” he countered and the two of you laughed, washing away the tension of the last few moments.

“Can I walk you home?” he offered after a few minutes in your embrace and you nodded.

“That was my plan all along,” you admitted and he smiled shyly. 

He just walked you home that night, refusing your offer to come up. Insisting that he at least take you on a proper date, after his embarrassing melt down at the club he felt he at least owed you that. You insisted on being on a call with him, his whole walk home so he wouldn’t be alone and he honestly didn’t know which gods to thank for sending you his way. 

“Will you finally tell me where we are going?” you begged, tugging on his hand and he smiled mischievously, “Can’t you just let me surprise you woman?” he teased and you fell in pace beside him happily.

He buzzed the doorbell of a studio apartment and you really had no idea where this boy was taking you, and as you stepped into the elevator he sensed you were going to ask him again, so he sighed and took your hand in his “We are almost there just be patient.”

The elevator doors opened and you stepped into what looked like an artist’s workshop/studio.

You took in the whole scene in front of you with childlike wonder before finally settling on Sihtric who was looking at you sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck, before he made his way over to a workbench and picked up a little wicker basket with a picnic and a bottle of wine inside.

“You mentioned that you loved painting but never get the time to do it anymore, I figured we could have some wine and paint a little?” His cheeks were tinged pink and he looked so embarrassed “It seemed really romantic in my head, I guess-we can do something else if you want-”

-”Sihtric,” you cut him off, tears in your eyes as you made your way over and cupped his face “This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me,” you cried and the shy smile of relief that crept over his face was the cutest thing you had ever seen.

You had mentioned painting in passing weeks ago to Sihtric when he mentioned that he was an amateur photographer, but you had no idea that he would remember something as insignificant as that.

“Come on let me see?” he begged, and you swiped him away.

“My masterpiece is not complete yet,” you shooed him and he took another sip of his wine, you continued painting until a sudden flash pulled your attention and Sihtric was sat there with his camera in hand looking guilty. 

“I’m sorry,” he laughed “But you look so cute when you are concentrating, your little tongue poking out.”

You laughed shyly and applied the finishing touches before you sat back.

“Are you ready to see my masterpiece?” you laughed and he was out of his seat like a shot.

“Is that…Is that me?” he said flabbergasted “Y/n, I’m gonna cry, this is amazing!” 

“I tried my best to capture you. I fear it doesn’t do you justice though, you are more beautiful in person.”

Sihtric had to swallow a few times to genuinely gather himself unable to process the emotions he was feeling for you in the moment.

“Can I keep it?” he said so genuinely that you were rising to come stand beside him, “Sihtric,” you sighed reaching up to place a kiss to his cheek when he suddenly turned his face to capture your lips, hands flying up to cup your face, and you leaned into the kiss, kissing him back hungrily, and it was like a dam of wanting had burst open.

He backed you into an empty workbench, lifting you onto it and you locked your legs around his waist.

When your hands found your way into his hair he moaned suddenly into your mouth and you couldn’t help but capitalize on the moment, by running your other hand down to the waistband of his jeans and tugging at his belt as he attached his lips to your neck.

“Please,” he was begging, but he wasn’t even sure what he was begging for, more friction, more hair tugging just more of whatever you were willing to give him.

It had been months since anyone had touched him this way and he was afraid he wouldn’t last. Not when you made those precious sounds beneath him, or when you raked your nails along his back. His back that was marred with scars, but if you wanted to mark him he would wear those marks proudly.

He sucked on the soft skin of your neck as he moved inside you and your breathing quickened, he knew you were near.

“Let go. Let go for me,” he urged “I’ve got you.”

And you came around him with a cry, it was all he needed to let go himself.

Grunting from somewhere deep within his chest as he came apart.

You hissed when he pulled out and he went away to fetch some paper to clean up with.

“Gods, you are glorious,” he mused, as you sat up. brushing his fingers through your hair and tucking a strand behind your ear, you smiled at him hazily and he muttered “Just glorious,” again, before he dipped in to steal another kiss from your swollen lips.

Sihtric took your hand and led you through the flashing strobe lights and loud music.

He pulled you close and moved your body in time with his. Running his hands down your sides, grabbing your ass and grinding against you.

He knew his friends were watching but he didn’t care. All he cared about was you and you wanted to dance.

If you were able to nurse him through the nights he woke up screaming in terror, or anytime a loud or sudden noise startled him, he could do this for you.

And he was having fun, he couldn’t remember the last time he laughed so hard at your goofy and carefree dance moves.

The strobe lights above you made you look like nothing short of an angel and not for the first or last time, Sihtric thought you were glorious.

And he wished he could find the words to tell you that for the first time in years he felt weightless, carefree and safe, like you had taken a chisel and chipped away at all the heavy concrete blocks that were weighing him down, instead he settled on kissing you with all his might and he didn’t need to tell you.

You knew. 

Tagging:

@canyonmoon-2 @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @whitedarkmoonflower @thenameswinter99 @foxyanon

@acdassenza @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @gemini-mama

@troyottonick @alexagirlie

a-beaverhausen nebulamorada izzydlb knight-of-flowerss

justcuriousandbored

[who-can-touch-my-boob]

<- Sanemi simp posts masterlist

I feel like the perfect kind of partner for Sanemi is one who’s nothing but genuinely warm and has no trouble showing both physical and emotional affection. Even before they even became romantically involved.

It would begin with him meeting you, finding you utterly and completely annoying. As if the very existence of you just put him off. The way you just kept hugging him unabashed when you saw him, playfully tease and tickle him.

How you would without hesitation sit right next to him so your bodies touch, like why? He thinks to himself. Why would you sit next to him out of all people? Are you dense or something? And why are you sitting so close your shoulders are touching?

He would always scoff at you, untangling himself immediately from whatever embrace you’ve chosen to torture him with.

The way you always asked him about his day, if he ate or slept. This only annoyed him further because why would you care? And most importantly, why did he tell you?

What made you, this bubbly, warm and genuinely kind person decide that he was worthy of your affection?

However, as time passed and you seem to not go away, he no longer pulled away from those unnecessary long and tight hugs or brushed off your questions about his wellbeing with an eye roll and a scowl.

He remember vividly the moment things started to change. When you had once again seated yourself next to him, he found himself wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer.

Neither of you said anything, something Sanemi reluctantly admits he tolerated about you. You never forced yourself on him beyond those innocent physical touches and proximity. You never asked him for anything and at the beginning you respected his wishes when he pulled away.

And now that he had wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close as you share a plate of ohagi and matcha tea, you don’t point out the way his heart’s beating faster beneath your ear resting on his chest.

Neither of you said anything about the sudden change between you because no words were needed. Not when the way his lips brushed against yours as he leaned down told you all you needed.

Sanemi found you utterly and completely annoying still, but he also thinks you’re the most kind, loving and adorable person in his life. And soon it was no longer just you throwing yourself at him for hugs, suddenly he instinctively pulled you into a warm embrace, sat himself down next to you and asked you if you’d eaten or slept.

You always knew Sanemi was a truly kind man beneath the hard facade he displays, but you also knew he wouldn’t respond well to words. So instead you showed him affection and love through simple gestures that never crossed any boundaries. You never really expected anything in return because all you wanted was to let this broken and lonely man know he’s not alone.

That he too deserves to be cared for and looked after. So when the day he had wrapped his arm around you without a word and kissed you, there had been no hesitation when you kissed him back.

—

AN: just a lil drabble because I felt like Sanemi needed some love and appreciation today. Literally wrote this in ten minutes after only had three sips of my energy drink as breakfast.

[asuyaka]

Hiii, it's kind of a weird request so I totally understand if you ignore

Would you mind writing fluff with some comfort for Dazai with a trans male reader (ftm), when the reader is very transphobic (only) towards himself, because he doesn't want to be this way cause it's not something 'socially accepted?' the reader is rather chameleonic n generally cares a lot about how he's seen and if he fits in, going as far to change his whole way of acting based on who he's talking with or when he can't mirror someone's personality putting on a charismatic, playful, talkative facade. (Basically a social3 in detail but not manipulative if u know that term) because of his desire to climb social ladder and massive fear of lacking social acceptance, he tries to gaslight himself into thinking he's cisgender most of the time, which only makes him feel worse?? The 'all I want you to do is give me all of your love&applause and for return I'll be whoever you want me to be' type of performer.

Sorry for being picky but please don't write the reader as a submissive scared little thing that can't be assertive at all I hate that in comforts I beg u

★ - this hits so close t'home cause 've always struggled with my gender identity n'stuff then I realized there's a buncha labels, too many f'me to care about ! *^__^*

☆ - Dazai Osamu x FtM Reader!

♡ - really hope I wrote him well f'ya anon ! O(∩_∩)O | CW: copious amounts of misgenderin' (she/her & terms like 'girlfriend are used for the first half, please be warned !!) & transphobic language !

[Name] looked at his her the outfit in the mirror, a black body con dress with a slit that ran up [Name]'s thigh.

The longer [Name] stared at the reflection the more an urge to throw up formed. Dazai would be the door for their date, and every dress [Name] tried didn't sit right.

They were either too tight, not tight enough, too short, too long, or too boxy— the point was nothing worked.

It didn't matter if [Name] put on a skirt or a crop top, they made everything feel worse to the point [Name] wanted to call the date off, but that would make her a bad girlfriend, and she wanted to be good.

The doorbell rang. "Babe? You haven't answered your phone, are you okay?"

[Name] groaned and opened the door. Dazai glanced over her outfit with wide eyes. "Wow. Uh, nice dress, but what's the occasion?"

[Name]'s eyebrow raised. "What do you mean? I always wear dresses."

Dazai walked into [Name]'s apartment and plopped onto the couch. "No, you don't. You told me you hate dresses and skin-tight clothes."

She glared at her boyfriend, a deep frown on her face before scoffing. "Okay, well, I like them now. Girls like dresses anyway."

The brunette paused his actions and stared. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

[Name] rolled her eyes. "What did I say?"

"You're joking, right? You aren't a girl— I asked you out because you're a man, and I wanted a boyfriend."

Boyfriend.

The title made [Name]'s heart well, like a warm blanket draped over her body. It didn't cause that sick, gut-wrenching feeling like 'girlfriend' but they weren't a boy.

They couldn't be a boy.

[Name] gulped thickly. "...I'm not a tranny, Dazai. What would my coworkers think? My parents? I can't— I was born a girl, Dazai, I shouldn't... feel this way."

Osamu gently holds [Name]'s hands. "Baby, what are you talking about? You've always been my boyfriend, you being born a woman doesn't change that."

"But I... it's— Osamu, it's not right. If I act too masculine, I could lose my job and have my neighbors hate me, but I fucking hate having to act like somethin' I'm not." [Name] sniveled, wiping his cheeks at tears that began to form.

Dazai guided his boyfriend to the couch and cupped his cheek. "You shouldn't have to change yourself to make other people happy. You're my boyfriend, the only boy in the world I've genuinely loved, and I don't want to see you destroy yourself for the better of someone else—people who don't even know you."

"If you lose your job for being you, then you could work with me. I'm sure Boss wouldn't mind having a new employee."

With a gentle kiss, Osamu chuckled. "And I'd finally get some work done so I can relax with my perfect boyfriend in the world."

[Name] sniffed as his boyfriend pressed another kiss on his wet cheek. "...is it 'cause you're lazy?"

"Eh... not lazy, just... working smarter and not harder!"

"Not working at all doesn't count, Osamu."

Dramatically, Dazai held a hand to his chest and rolled on the floor. "Woe is me! My boyfriend keeps bullying me even after I call him perfect! What do I do?"

He lightly laughed and placed a soft hand on Osamu's hair. "Maybe take him on a date?"

The brunette immediately sat on his knees with sparkles in his eyes. "He still wants to go with me?"

[Name] kissed Dazai's forehead and smiled. Even with the thoughts swirling in his head, Osamu always had a way to make him feel better. "He'd be delighted to go on a date with you."

[kamimarroco]

A story where Ren suddenly starts chatting with you because he apparently cares about you staying up late at night. Not reviewed, may undergo corrections in the future.

Words: 1100+

“are you still awake?”

The vibration of your phone and the appearance of a notification startled you, almost making you drop the device. You looked closely at the top left corner of the screen and saw the time.

It is currently 2:35 in the morning.

People at this time are usually sleeping, and those who aren't are probably sorting out work issues or are insomniacs.

You didn't fit into either of them, since your irregularity was due to the fact that you were too stubborn.

A shame, really.

You didn't stand on ceremony and immediately clicked on the notification, being taken to the chat with an unknown person.

Well, not really an unknown person... Looking more carefully, your sleepy mind managed to rationalize and recognize who you were talking to.

Oh, it's Ren.

“yea but dw, i'll go to sleep soon”

You immediately saw him start writing after receiving your message.

“are you sure? that doesn't sound honest to me. you've been online a lot lately”

How long exactly has he been watching you to say that? Sure, it's possible to see when your profile is online because of the app's settings, but it makes you wonder if he's been watching you all this time.

“have you been watching me online?”, you ask without hesitation.

You feel him give a slight chuckle from the other side of the screen.

“haha maybe. but don't get me wrong, you really do spend a lot of time awake at night, and that makes me a lil worried”

You're torn between finding his statement strange or acknowledging your not-so-healthy habit. It's true, you're weird, anyone would find it at least slightly worrying that you spend so much time online in the early hours of the morning.

“and what about you? you are also online right now at this very moment”, you retort back, anxiety consuming you as you wait for his response.

He would be considered a hypocrite for finding your habit troubling if he does the exact same thing.

“i have a very valid reason for that. my routine makes me stay awake at night and sleep in the morning or afternoon”

Now you feel an arrow hitting right in the middle of your heart. Sure, of course he would have a good reason to be awake at this hour.

You are the only odd one out in this situation.

“i'm sorry about that, i felt defensive about my habit being called out”, you apologized, worried that your words had come across as rude to him.

“that's alright. it's 2:42 am, no hard feelings”

You felt relieved that he didn't resent your words, despite knowing that they did not convey the same intonation as in real life.

you're thinking too much (or too little), your emotions are starting to eat you up.

“but i still think you should sleep”, he sent a second message.

You felt like a child being scolded by your father, being called out for your unhealthy behavior. You felt your cheeks flush and shame enter your system.

“i already told you, i'll sleep soon”, even if he doesn't notice, you felt like a sullen child trying to explain yourself.

“wheeen?”

“by the holy of god Ren, i'm not some kind of child”, you felt the need to say his nickname (name?) for the first time, trying to emphasize your slight irritation.

This time it took him a while to answer you, seeming to process the fact that you called him by his name. You felt judged in some way for this, thinking that maybe you weren't close enough to call him that.

when did you get so soft? is it sleep that's making you think too much?

Just as you were about to text him an apology, he interrupted you.

“i know that, i just worry about you”, his message warmed your heart in a way you couldn't imagine.

That's… sweet of him. Worrying about you even though you two are just strangers on the internet who bump into each other every now and then.

Are you falling in love?

“i appreciate ur concern, but i know what i'm doing”

No, you don't.

He sent you a picture of a fox with one eyebrow raised, appearing to doubt your certainty.

That brought out a genuine laugh you didn't know you were holding back.

you're leaving yourself vulnerable around him.

“aaaw what a cutie fox!! <3”, you said, referring to the image received.

“it really is! do you like foxes?”

“yea i like them! they are cute and fluffy and i honestly feel like hugging them”

For a while, Ren seemed to forget the fact that you were awake and kept talking to you about random, unrelated topics. Neither of them really had any connection with the other, but one thing led to another.

You noticed how easy it is to talk to him. He has a fluid oratory and is always making associations with other things he knows.

You found yourself incredibly interested and captivated in the conversation you suddenly began having with this stranger.

is this a red flag? shouldn't you be more concerned about a sudden approach?

When you looked at the time on your phone, you realized it was already 3:56 am, almost four in the morning.

Jesus, did you really spend that much time talking to him?

Feeling the tiredness consume you completely, you (finally) felt it was time to let your body have some much-needed rest.

“hey i know we're still talking, but it's almost four in the morning…”, you began delicately, not wanting to give him the wrong idea that you didn't want to talk anymore.

why are you so concerned about what he thinks, in the first place?

“i don't want to let our conversation end here, so i thought we could continue it another time”

Nonono, stop this, you're falling into his trap

“i'm sorry about this, my body is really screaming for sleep”

You idiot.

Ren analyzed your messages a bit before giving a proper response.

“awe that's alright! i really wanted u to sleep in the first place, and i feel kind of guilty that i did a bad job xd”

“keeping u awake and everything”

You felt guilty for him feeling guilty because it wasn't his fault in the first place! You were the idiot who decided to stay up at night, so the damage was already done.

“nonono u didn't! i was the dumb one for staying awake until now”

“i really enjoyed our conversation tbh”

You sent it and already felt your eyelashes getting heavy.

“hehe me too! i look forward to our next conversations”

“but now u really need to sleep, so pls don't stay up too long <3”

Silly little guy. He really gets you, doesn't he?

You felt happy that you had at least met someone during your time awake at night.

[babyboydaniel]

you can only chase a butterfly for so long | daniel ricciardo x max verstappen

warning: angst, hurt/comfort | word count: 570

since i am still trying to deal with what happened, i decided to write a little something to just work through some of it. so please read at your own risk. it will all be okay, even if right now there doesn't seem to be any hope.

As the morning sun slipped through the gaps in the curtain the unbearable weight of tomorrow fell over him. The emotional turmoil that was yesterday was a thing of the past, and now all he is left with is the aftermath of that storm. Though he was wrapped in the warm embrace of his boyfriend, the iciness lingered beyond the surface level. The unforgiving frost worked its way between his ribs until it pierced his heart. This was supposed to be his second chance. A moment to do it over again, and it was never supposed to end like this. End it such uncertainty that felt so final. 

His body and mind ached from the battering. His eyes filled with tears as they streaked down his face attempting to wash away the pity-filled words that were thrown at him. He tried to keep his body from rocking with sadness and prevent the sobs of betrayal from breaking through his lips, wanting to keep this moment to himself. Max did not deserve to be woken up by him in this state. But, Max was always so perceptive even when asleep. He was aware of even the most minuscule shift in his mood.  

“Daniel,” Max began, his arms pulling him impossibly closer. 

“I’m sorry I woke you,” Daniel responded, his voice thick with tears. 

“Oh, baby,” Max whispered as he pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, “No need to apologize. I am here for you, always.”

Max’s words floated over his skin, providing pockets of warmth for him to sink into. For many years Daniel had Max by his side. Whether that was as teammates, rivals, friends, and eventually partners, it is the one thing he will never take for granted. Even through all of the blatant betrayal and pure disrespect, he would do it all again if that meant he got Max. 

“I want you to know that you are so loved. Loved by me, by your family and friends, and by so many others. I cannot imagine what you are going through, but I will be right by your side as we work through it.”

Daniel nodded as more tears fell, unable to form any more words. Tired of defending himself, tired of proving himself, tired of showing up and pretending that all was good, tired of the false positivity, tired of having his character questioned. It wore him down until he could no longer fight. 

“We will take our time because you deserve nothing less. This fucked up decision is not a reflection of you. It was never about you, and you were too good for the bullshit they put you through. You are always too good, Daniel. Most people don’t deserve you,” Max continued as he pressed delicate kisses along his shoulders. 

Daniel shifted in his arms until their chests were pressed together and their eyes met. Max’s blue eyes which were usually so guarded were laid open. Every emotion and feeling was on display, leaving nothing for Daniel to question. His honesty was apparent and his love and adoration were overflowing that if he wasn’t careful he could drown in it. 

“I love you,” Daniel stated. It was an absolute, a fact. 

With the gentleness of handling a porcelain doll, Max reached out and brushed his thumb along his cheek. The tenderness caused his heart to ache in a completely different way. “I love you too.”