#he is soooo focused he loves loves loves training I wish I didn’t hate it 😩

[kangals]

we went to Petco for some exposure practice and got to do his favorite/my least favorite thing (training). he tries so hard 🥺

[the-chicken-or-the-banana]

I always wondered how the foxes would react to finding out that it was andrew that "hit on" neil first (specially Kevin, since he was just standing right there while that happened)

(now, i don't think they would willing just talk about it but if one of them slip up...)

Btw: i absolutely adored the goodbye kisses series

AHHH sorry for being so MIA lately but i'm absolutely loving this! also i'm realizing that i'm very bad at actually getting to the point so enjoy a shit ton of irrelevant exposition :)

read it on ao3 here

— ··· —

Kevin didn't understand why they had to come to the zoo. It was smelly, there were kids screaming everywhere, and he'd nearly been stepped on three times in the past 10 minutes. He much rather preferred exy to this.

Team bonding sucked.

He trudged along beside Aaron as Dan, Matt, and Nicky actually tried socializing with the new Foxes. Normally, Kevin would jump at the chance to talk about exy with these recruits, but also, normally he didn't feel like he'd just just rolled through a flaming dumpster filled with screeching, pooping monkeys.

Kevin let out a sigh as they passed some sort of mildly interesting snake exhibit. He nudged Aaron, who was on his phone with a red face, which meant he was either texting lovey-dovey things to Katelyn or blasting an idiot in his Ochem class. You never really knew with him.

"Aaron."

Aaron just scowled at him. Kevin sighed again. Conversing was always so much more exhausting than he anticipated.

"Snakes."

"What."

"Do you want to... see the snakes?"

Aaron blinked in confusion. "Okay?"

Kevin led them to the snakes.

There, they shoved past some families and made it to the front of the glass enclosure.

"Well?" Aaron asked. "Now what do we do?"

Valid question, Kevin thought. He hadn't really considered what they were doing. He just wanted to see snakes.

He told Aaron as much, who rolled his eyes aggressively and went back to his phone.

Kevin felt a tap on his shoulder and twisted around, coming face-to-face (well, more like chest-to-face) with some sort of tour or information guide.

"Hi!" she smiled all too brightly. Kevin wanted to cover his eyes. "How are you enjoying the exhibition?"

"Um," Kevin gulped eloquently, then remembered his media training. "Oh yeah, it's great!"

"Awesome," she beamed. "You know, there's a snake feeding session in about 5 minutes if you and your son are interested."

Kevin's face contorted in confusion. He whirled around, assuming some tiny, lost child was latched near him, but when he turned back, the lady — Sandy — had her gaze intensely focused on the only other small person near him: Aaron.

Oh dear.

Aaron seemed to come to the same conclusion as Kevin did because his eyes widened comically and he hissed "I. am. not. his. son."

Sandy blinked owlishly. "Little brother then?"

Aaron threw his hands up. "I am 21! Leave me alone." He then proceeded to stomp out of the enclosure, dragging Kevin along and leaving a very flummoxed old lady behind them.

"I can't believe it," Aaron kept muttering. "Your son. Your son! I hate life."

Kevin was a bit miffed that he hadn't actually been able to see the snakes, but he figured Aaron's plight was slightly more significant than that.

After a few moments of silent walking (Kevin) and angry grumbing (Aaron), Kevin realized he couldn't see any of the Foxes anymore. He glanced around, instinctively searching for Andrew.

"Hey, do you know where Andrew and Neil went?" Kevin asked.

Aaron scoffed. "They're probably making out somewhere."

"Who's making out?"

Aaron and Kevin both gave unholy screeches as they turned around to find Nicky standing between them, a wide, innocent grin on his face.

"What the fuck," Aaron complained. "Don't do that again, you bitch."

Nicky waved him off. "Shut up. Who's making out? Might be able to close some bets."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "We just can't find Andrew and Neil anywhere. Aaron seems to believe they're off deflowering a zoo Port-A-Potty or something."

"Well then, we wouldn't want to interrupt them, right?" Nicky winked. "Anyways, we're all going to the butterfly exhibit right now so y'all have to join us. I'm not taking no for an answer."

It seemed that they had no choice, so after sharing a resigned glance, Kevin and Aaron trudged behind an overly enthusiastic Nicky while he babbled on about some parrots that he saw. It really didn't seem as interesting as Nicky was making it out to be, but Kevin didn't want to say anything lest he was expected to participate in the conversation too.

They finally reached the butterfly exhibit where the other Foxes were waiting for them. They entered as a mass of loud, mildy buff, smelly athletes and got more than a few glares from the parents of young children who moved out of the way.

But in all this movement, the path cleared and Kevin found... Andrew and Neil? He was about to turn to Aaron and tell him that they evidently not making out, until he noticed how still Andrew was standing and the glee on Neil's face.

Nicky's gaze caught onto them a second later, because he squealed and grabbed Kevin's arm, jabbing his finger at the sight.

"Oh my God," he whispered. "Is that a butterfly on Andrew's nose? That is adorable."

Kevin squinted, and yes, that's exactly what it appeared to be. Nicky's outburst had caught Allison's attention, and she began marching over to Neil and Andrew, the rest of the Foxes in tow.

Kevin could already tell this was going to be a mess.

When they finally reached Andrew, Aaron was the first to speak. "What the fuck?" he asked flatly. Andrew glared at him. Slowly, as to not move the butterfly, he raised his hand to gently flip off his brother.

Nicky immediately started cooing. "Aww, don't worry Andrew! I think you look adorable."

Andrew began slipping out a knife.

On Allison's left, Kevin saw Dan practically shaking with laughter as she pulled out her camera and snapped a picture.

Neil opened his mouth, probably to tell off Dan but Nicky rushed in to talk to him.

"Soooo," he waggled his eyebrows. "I didn't know you could see the future, Neil."

Neil stared at him blankly and turned back to Andrew as he pulled out a map, but Nicky rallied on.

"Like, you must have been able to predict that one day Andrew was going to be this adorable. That's why you asked him out, right?"

"What?" Neil asked distractedly. "I never asked him out."

Kevin blinked in surprise. After a moment's consideration, he realized that considering how utterly oblivious Neil could be, it really was no shocker that Andrew had to ask him out first.

"Wait wait wait," Matt shook his head. "So Andrew asked you out?"

Neil waved them off as he continued squinting at the map he was holding. "Yes yes, just go ask Kevin, he was there."

All eyes turned to Kevin. Kevin was very lost.

"What the fuck," Aaron repeated. "I'm so confused."

"Me too," Kevin muttered. "Me too."

— ··· —

After their long day at the zoo was over, the Foxes finally began the trudge back up to their respective dorms. The younger Foxes dozed off immediately, but the older Foxes gathered in the girls' room to drop off the bags they had borrowed for the trip.

In all the commotion, no one really noticed Andrew and Neil leaving together. But right before they slipped out the door, Renee caught sight of them.

"Good night, you two!" she called. Neil turned around and gave her a tired wave, his body slumped on Andrew.

"Wait!" Nicky scrambled off the sofa. "Before I forget: Neil, how did Andrew ask you out?"

Neil blinked sleepily. "Well," he slurred. "He asked if he could blow me."

The room went silent.

Andrew heaved a sigh and dragged Neil out the door, leaving seven wide-eyed, very much awake athletes in their wake. Slowly, everyone turned to Kevin.

"You!" Allison weakly jabbed a finger in his direction. "You knew about this!"

Too late, Kevin realized what Neil's statement meant. Andrew had asked out Neil in front of Kevin. By offering sex. Nothing could have possibly ruined Kevin's night as much as this information had.

He met the Foxes' eyes slowly. Even Renee looked a bit surprised at Neil's admission, but she was clearly biting back a smile. "Trust me," Kevin groaned. "If I had known this had happened, I would have won myself so many bets."

"Damn," Nicky sighed. "I wish Erik and I had such an iconic story. Who knew the quiet, stabby cousin was such a horny gay bastard?"

"I," Aaron announced hotly. "have never wanted to forget a conversation more than this one."

"But Aaron. Andrew asked to blow him."

"Nicky, I swear— "

"OH MY GOD. They're probably having sex right now! Kevin, could you— "

Aaron put his head in his hands. "Please shut up now."

[megumis-lashes]

Hi can I request Megumi with a very touchy crush

Megumi with a touchy crush HCs!

Fushiguro Megumi x Reader ^^

An: Hello! Sorry for the late response but I hope you can enjoy this anyways! Since it’s not specified I made this headcannons since that was easier! If you want anything different in future requests please specify at least: format, POV and gender! If you don’t I’ll just do whatever ^^

Contains: Touchy reader/physical contact, Megumi x reader, written with a female reader in mind but generally left as gn!, angst if you squint lol, possibly mistakes as my genius self is writing this at like 12am, just fluffff :) oh and you’re shorter than Megumi lol. (Oh and sorry if Megumi is a tad OOC in the drabble cuz his reactions can be tricky to write for 😅)

Word Count: 1.7k (I got carried away once again lol)

Soooo.... Megumi with a touchy crush? Sign me up!

Now we all know that Megumi is rather reserved and pretty straight forward so I think at first his reaction to your touchiness may be a bit awkward

Not awkward in the sense that he’s uncomfortable being around you but more as in he’s a bit.... shy

He’s not adjusted to receiving a lot of physical contacts so initially, he wasn't quite sure how to react 

His overall awkwardness really depends on how long he’s known you 

If he just met you during high school he would probably be a bit shocked at how comfortable you were with casual physical affection

While you would think nothing of it and treated practically everyone you knew (and were comfortable with) like this, Megumi would still be surprised 

While Yuuji and Nobara would adjust to your touchiness quite quickly, Megumi would probably stay blushy about it for a month or so until he wouldn't think much about it anymore 

it’d be a bit different if he knew you for a while or even knew you as childhood friends

Typically being touchy doesn't become a habit overnight sooo he’d be a lot more used to it and barely think about it 

I don’t see him as one to openly accept or adjust to physical affection without being a bit shy 

He’d probably tease you or question you about it from time to time and be one to begrudgingly accept affection 

Totally be one to act really annoyed by your touchiness but in reality, he treasures the soft moments away from danger 

All of this would change when he realizes he has a crush on you though :0

Cue blushy, awkward Megumi and oblivious you featuring another oblivious idiot, Yuuji, and an all-knowing Nobara 

Megumi isn’t one to develop crushes immediately or overnight since he must value that person’s personality most of all 

He thought of you as purely platonically within these first few months of knowing you untilllll his brain just clicked 

He was like.... ‘Oh shoot... I have a crush....”

Having a crush is refreshing for Megumi but also quite distracting with how touchy you are

Instead of just ignoring the affection or casually playing it off, Megumi forgets how to react 

Now he knows that deep down he really likes receiving affection from you cuz he realized how he likes you more than just a companion or classmate  

Cue Megumi being 10 times more awkward than usual 

Normally if you were to walk up to him and throw your arm over his shoulder playfully or something like that he’d either ignore it, pretend it's not happening or just playfully shove your arm off his shoulder 

Now he just freezes and is like ‘oh what to do’

Would be that person who googles ‘how to act normally around your crush’ but at the same time think its stupid and stop reading the article like five minutes in lol

He’d probably have one of two reactions: 

Cease to function and just stand awkwardly still or

Awkwardly pull away 

...

Now as much as Megumi pretends to hate your touchiness, you do know that he’s okay with you playing around so this reaction is pretty unusual

You probably are a little confused as to why he’s acting like this 

Like huhh????? I thought we were good?????

Cue Megumi continuing to be awkward for a while 

Everyone became more awkward than usual since that day because the friendly atmosphere was put off due to Megumi being even more closed off than usual

He practically avoids you at this point

Ofc you start to feel bad about it

Like did you do something wrong??? Take it too far?? 

Touchiness has always been in your nature and seeing someone react so sharply to it makes you feel insecure about your habits so you lessen the touchiness within the friend group

and everyone notices

Yuuji misses your playfulness and Megumi is simply overwhelmed and lost within his own thoughts and emotions 

Nobara is the most.... suspicious 

While examining Megumi lately (not in a weird way she swears) she noticed the sudden change in behavior 

That’s when she realized ‘Does the Fushiguro Megumi have a crush????’ 

Ofc her curiosity gets the best of her so she just has to question Megumi 

So she does

After a small mission the team had gone on, she asked Megumi to talk 

‘So promise to answer truthfully.’

‘Yes I promise” 

‘Do you have a crush on Y/N?’

“Huh’ Megumi deadpans. This came out of nowhere 

As much as he wishes to play it cool and dismiss the girl’s thoughts, he physically cannot and instead goes into blushy cannot function mode

Nobara takes notice to this immediately

‘Aha! So I was correct! Take that Yuuji!’

Yes they totally made bets on this 

Once again Megumi is lost 

‘Huh? Bets on what?”

‘Bets on what?”Are you seriously that oblivious? On your crush! It’s so obvious it’s painful!” She sighed dramatically

Now Megumi is even more lost 

Like sure he was confused about where his crush stands but he wasn’t aware that he was obvious????

Nobara goes on to explain how stiffly he reacts to your touches and how his blush doesn’t really go unnoticed 

She also explains how you were moping around lately cuz you thought you made him uncomfortable

Shocked at this new found information he rushed out of their real quick to go... idk possibly confess but be more focused on apologizing 

AN: Here’s a quick scenario in first person of how that would go since I have zero self-control :0 

I was settled on the small bed in my school dorm room. Placed upon a stack of pillows was my laptop, through which played whatever random Netflix show I chose. It didn’t really matter what it was as the media was quickly discarded by my mind and treated as background noise. My mind was swimming with rather..intrusive thoughts. As much as I wanted to relax and shut off my mind for the night I simply couldn’t. My thoughts continued to drift back to a certain ravenette and the issues that had circled around him for a while now. Fushiguro Megumi, a boy I met a few years back when beginning jujutsu. We were friends... or at least I considered us friends and I had taken quite a liking to the boy. Despite his distant and rather closed off personality, I had developed a casual and comfortable bond with the male... or so I thought. All changed when he started acting strangely, almost as if I had hurt him or bothered him a little too much with my habits. Admittedly I was a bit hurt over Megumi’s actions but I was more confused. I had always been touchy, so why the sudden reaction to it? 

As if the world was messing with me, a knock sounding from my dorm room door shook me from my train of thought. 

“Coming!” I quickly pushed the blankets and began walking towards the door. The person behind that door was definitely not who I was expecting. Behind the door stood Megumi Fushiguro, pacing lightly as his hand slightly ruffled his hair.

“Megumi?! Did you need something?” It was strange to see Megumi at my door as it was nearing 9 PM and he was usually one to avoid unnecessary intrusions. 

“Oh hi Y/N. Sorry to bother you so late but I’ve come to apologize..” He explained, carding his hand through his hair nervously.

“Apologize for what exactly?” I questioned.

“For how I’ve been acting lately..” He stated. I shook my head. 

“Ahh about that... I’ve been meaning to ask you something..” I mumbled. “Megumi.. do I uhh.. make you uncomfortable? I mean I know I’m kinda touchy and I’ve noticed that you uh don’t-”

“No no no! That's what I’m here to clear up about... Look it's not what you think! You don’t make me uncomfortable I’ve just been too focused on my own thoughts to realize why you may think that...’ We’re both way too oblivious’ or at least that’s what Nobara says..” He trailed off. I sighed in relief. I was happy, albeit a bit confused but still happy that he didn’t despise me. 

“Ok ok.. I’m glad you don’t hate me at least!” I smiled, throwing my arm around his shoulder as I did in the past. “I do have one question though!”

“Ask away.” He quietly chuckled, finally at ease in my touches. 

“What do you mean ‘we’re both oblivious’? And what does Nobara have to do with this?” I questioned, leaning my head onto the taller male’s shoulder. His eyes widened a bit as he glanced away awkwardly. 

“Well, you see... I don’t really know how to say this but..” 

“Just spit it out already!” I playfully slapped his back. 

“I have a crush on you...” He mumbled looking away. 

“....huh” I deadpanned. “That’s why you were awkward all of a sudden? All because you like me? Wait you like me?!” I shook my head, leaving the casual embrace we had settled into. 

“Yeah... that’s not a bad thing is it?” He questioned, once again rubbing at his neck nervously.

“No no of course not!” I waved dramatically. “I’ll let you know that I like you too! Quite a lot actually!” I chuckled thinking of Nobara’s words. “Now I understand what she was saying about obliviousness... Now that I think about it you were sooo obvious! I'm ashamed that I didn’t notice sooner.” I sighed, coming down from my small laughing fit. 

“ Hey well, I didn’t know how to act! I was trying my best ok....” He mumbled. I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his left cheek, chuckling at his blushy reaction. 

“Don’t worry about it! I mean we cleared everything up didn’t we?” I pondered.

“So uhh.. do you wanna be my girlfriend then?” He questioned, looking as flustered as ever. 

“I’d love that!” I smiled. Glancing at my watch my eyes widened. 

“Hey, it's getting late! Why don’t you come watch Netflix with me yeah?!” I pulled the ravenette into my dorm, leaving him little time to respond.  That night we drifted off together surrounded by the noise of old Netflix movies and warmed by the feeling of love. 

[old-read-all-about-kpop]

@softjunh: hi there love! it's me again, and i was wondering if i can have a oneus reaction to their s/o backhugging them? im seriously starting to love these boys 😔💘💗

A/N: Soooo sorry for the extremely long wait darling! I sincerely apologize. I hope that you enjoy this writing 💓💓💓💓

Ravn

Ravn was brushing his teeth, preparing for his day at the recording studio. He hated to leave you when all he wanted was to spend the morning with you. But, he had a job to do.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he suddenly felt arms wrap around his torso. He relaxed instantly when your eyes met his in the mirror. He held his heart and exhaled sharply.

“Jagi, you little weasel,” he mumbled. He bent down to spit out his mouthful of toothpaste. “Are you trying to kill me?” He asked as he stood straight again.

You giggled. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to frighten you.” You nuzzled your nose into his back muscles.

Ravn finished up and wiped his mouth. He put his toothbrush back where it belonged along with the toothpaste. Once he cleaned up, he rubbed your arms comfortingly, relishing in this sweet moment.

“When I finish getting dressed do you wanna walk me to the door?” He peered over his shoulder to look at you.

You nodded your head, smiling happily. Ravn chuckled before sighing depressingly. “As much as I love this tender moment of being in your arms, I do need to get ready.”

“Right.” You started to move away from him when he suddenly brought your arms back around him. You looked up at him questionably.

“Walk with me,” he simply conveyed.

You laughed as you and Ravn waddled into the bedroom, joined together like a true unit. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Seoho

Seoho wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed. You deserved it and many more for putting in such amazing work for your first year of college. So, as you slept peacefully, he was scrambling up some eggs and putting patter in the waffle maker for you. Once they were done, he’d let them cool off as he chopped some strawberries and bananas for your waffles. He could barely contain his excitement on seeing your reaction.

Suddenly, he felt your presence before feeling your arms encase his waist in a warm and welcoming embrace. He groaned before turning off the stove and turning in your grasp.

There you were, blinking up at him as sleep still glazed your eyes. Seoho couldn’t help but swoon over your sleepy face. He tucked an errant strand of hair behind your ear, and then kissed your nose. You giggled, pressing your face into his neck.

Seoho pet your hair adoringly. “I wish you stayed asleep for just 20 more minutes.” He groaned softly.

“Why?” You lifted your face up to look up at his face. You then took in your surroundings, noticing the waffle maker, the eggs, and the strawberries and bananas on the chopping board. “Oooh, you were gonna make me breakfast in bed.” You batted your eyes at your man. “You’re so sweet!” You gushed.

You gasped then, having an idea. “I got it! A win-win situation for the both of us. I’ll go back to bed and pretend to sleep, and you can finish cooking and preparing and then you can bring it up to me like you planned. How does that sound?”

Seoho couldn’t help but laugh at the charming idea. “That would be a great idea, baby.”

You stood up on your tippie toes and gave him a quick peck. “Alright, I’m going.” You then dashed for the stairs, your feet pattering up the floorboards.

Seoho snickered as he continued his work. Soon enough, he finished, and, for good measure, he put a single red rose in a skinny vase and placed it on the tray along with the scrumptious spread he made just for his angel.

Oh, he couldn’t wait to see your reaction.

Leedo

You were drying Leedo’s hair for him due to the exhaustion that encumbered him from doing so. From the long day he had since early in the morning, you didn’t blame him for being unable to keep his eyes open for longer than a second. Your poor baby worked hard, but you couldn’t help but be proud of him and continue to motivate him.

“You’re all done, my prince!” You announced.

Leedo’s eyes shot open like a kid whose been called by the teacher. You could barely contain your giggle at his disorientated state. He looked utterly adorable. You couldn’t help but wrap your arms around his neck and press your body against his back.

Leedo grunted from the sudden weight. His hands cupped your elbows. “Hmm. What is this for?”

You kissed his temple. “Just because. I barely see you so I like to advantage of every moment that I get to finally be blessed with your presence.”

“Aww that’s sweet.” He laced his fingers with yours and kissed the backs of your hands. He rubbed the back of them as he gazed at you like you were the most precious thing to ever grace the earth. “I love you, y/n.”

“I love you, too, Leedo.”

Keonhee

Keonhee has been playing on his PlayStation since he woke up. He only stopped once for breakfast and then after that he was glued to the couch, thumbing away at his controller.

You sat next to him, playing a game of your own on your phone. But, unlike Keonhee, you weren’t that indulged in the game. So, you turned off your phone and simply laid back on the couch cushions. Before long even that was boring. So, you stared at your boyfriend.

His tongue was sticking out as he focused hard on his combat game. His thumbs were moving fiercely. Even though it got annoying at times how many times a week he liked to play his game system, he always looked so cute when he was concentrating.

Feeling affectionate, you placed yourself behind Keonhee, careful not to disturb him and break his concentration. Once you got settled, you placed your hands on the boy’s shoulders and pulled him back so he was leaning against you.

Keonhee readjusted himself before settling down and sinking into your petite frame. You rubbed his shoulders, amused how his eyes stayed trained on the TV despite the change in seating arrangements. But you didn’t mind. You were just content on knowing that he was so response to you. And that meant a thousand words to you.

So, you two remained in silence as you wrapped your arms around Keonhee’s shoulders, basking in his warmth. And, although he didn’t say it, Keonhee was delighted in being in your arms, engulfed by your presence. Nothing less than a perfect Sunday.

Hwanwoong

You and the boys were sitting in a circle, playing an intense game of mafia. You were the medic, which in your opinion is pretty stressful when choosing who to save. In the first round you failed to save Leedo due to you picking Hwanwoong. But even though you felt sorry you couldn’t risk revealing your identity.

Now, after some time passed, the people remaining were Hwanwoong, Xion, and Ravn. You were suspected of being mafia, which led you to accidentally revealing your true identity. The boys believed you but Keonhee was still standing firm in stating that he was the medic too. It wasn’t long until you were killed off. But, luckily, your death prompted the boys to vote Keonhee as the mafia due to the coincidence that you died after arguing with Keonhee about who was the true medic.

You were starting to become a bit tired and wanted to snooze. But you didn’t want to sleep without Hwanwoong. So, you opted for a smart solution.

You slid behind Hwanwoong and placed your legs on either side of him. Then you wrapped your arms tightly around his torso, rubbing his stomach and chest. Hwanwoong looked over his shoulder and smiled at you. You returned his smile before placing your cheek on the back of his shoulder.

Eventually, you ended up falling asleep, being lulled to sleep by the man’s calm breathing and warm body. Thus, when the game came to an end with Xion being revealed to be the second mafia, and Hwanwoong and Ravn being the victors, it was only then that Hwanwoong noticed you in a slumber.

“Aw, s/he’s so cute,” Hwanwoong cooed in a whisper. He looked around at the boys. “Look at her/him. Isn’t she/he adorable?”

Keonhee rolled his eyes playfully. “Yeah. S/he’s the cutest,” he said sarcastically.

Hwanwoong flipped him off before returning his gaze onto you. He rubbed your knee, not quite ready to wake you up. His heart swelled with tremendous love for you, feeling nothing but happiness in having you in his life.

Xion

You and Xion were watching TV together, cuddling on the couch. You two’s favorite position is to have Xion laying on you with his back pressed to your front. You’d either wrap your arms around his neck or have one hand combing his hair back. Whatever you did, Xion loved it. The serenity that engulfed you two was welcomed wholeheartedly, both of you wishing to freeze in this very moment.

Xion sighed in content. He turned his head and kissed the inside of your elbow, prompting you to giggle. “I really do enjoy being in this cuddling position.”

You smiled softly. “I know you do. Me too.” You played with his hair as you too sighed in content.

The solace that you two experience was something you would never want to take advantage of. You two treasured such moments, fully aware that you didn’t know when would be the next time that you two would get to melt into each other without a care in the world.

So, in this moment, you two melted into each other, conjoined like Yin and Yang as you two relished in the comfort of the other.

A/N: I really like how this writing flowed so I’m very proud how I constructed this. I hope you enjoyed reading this darling and, again, I’m deeply sorry for the extensive wait 💓💓💓💓

[kingdomheartsloversstuff]

Ashla’s Will chapter 6- Safe and Sound

Soooo sorry about the massive delay in updating, my sister is getting married in a week so things have been insane at my house. I hope you guys enjoy the new (but sadly shorter) chapter!

Read it on AO3

Once the Ghost was safely in hyperspace, everything happened in a blur. Kallus was whisked away to have his injuries tended to. Ezra desperately wanted to go with him, but Hera gently reminded him it wouldn’t be a good idea to crowd him, Ezra hated it but reluctantly agreed. It was agony waiting for Hera to finally finished patching him up so he could see him, to tightly hug him and assure himself that he was really there and wasn’t going to leave him like his parents did.

Sabine did her best to try and help him keep his mind off of it, but it was clear Zeb was also distracted, constantly glancing in the direction Kallus and Hera had went. It was obvious Zeb cared about his father a great deal, though Ezra did not have the emotional willpower to sort out how he felt about that.

He wanted to asked Zeb about how he had met his dad, and what he meant to him, but before he could work out the words, Hera finally returned saying,

“He’s all patched up and resting. He’ll need plenty of rest and a few good meals to help him get back on his feet, but I don’t think there where any injuries we need to worry about.”

“Can I see him?” Ezra asked.

“Just don’t wake him up,” Hera said, “It looks like he could really use the sleep.” Ezra didn’t waste time with a response, instead he ran past her into the room Hera had brought Kallus to, freezing in the doorway as he watched his dad sleeping peacefully. When was the last time he was able to get a good night’s rest? Too long. Moving slowly as to not wake him, Ezra made his way over to where he was resting and sat down on the ground next to the bed, carefully taking his hand in his own, clinging onto it, afraid that if he let go he would disappear again.

“I’m sorry dad,” Ezra mumbled to his sleeping form. “I’m sorry you got hurt because of me.” Kallus didn’t respond, and even though Ezra didn’t expect him to, a part of him wished he would. “I hope you don’t hate me.”

What would happen to them now? The Empire knew his dad was alive and would probably hunt him down with a vengeance. Would there be anywhere in the galaxy they would be safe from the Empire? Maybe they could stay on the Ghost until the heat died down….would it die down? Would they even be allowed to stay with them?

Swallowing thickly, Ezra leaned against the bed, trying to get as close to his dad as possible. He was so tired, but terrified if he fell asleep he’d wake up and find he was alone in the cave again. But he wasn’t, he was safe, his dad was safe, it was okay. Ezra told himself this over and over again, trying to convince himself it was true. As Ezra leaned closer to the bed, something sharp pressed against his side. Confused, Ezra reached into his pocked to pull out the strange cube he stole from Kanan’s room. Seeing the cube filled him with a mixture of anger and guilt so strong, Ezra flung the cube away from him as hard as possible before turning back to the bed, pressing himself as close to it as possible, tightly squeezing his eyes shut, focusing on taking slow deep breaths to try and calm himself down.

Every so slowly the strange cube started to open and a message started to play.

This is Master Obi Wan Kenobi. I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic, have fallen with a dark shadow of the Empire rising to take their place.

Confused Ezra reluctantly turned away from the bed, staring at the holo image coming out of the strange cube.

This message is a warning and a reminder for any surviving Jedi. Trust in The Force. Do not return to the Temple…that time has past. And our future is uncertain. We will each be challenged. Our trust. Our faith. Our friendships. But we must persevere. And in time, a new hope will emerge. May the Force be with you, always.

“Dev, what was that?” His father groggily asked, staring at him with fear in his eyes.

“I-I don’t-“ Before Ezra could formulate a response, the door opened to reveal Kanan who calmly reached down to pick up the cube. “What is that?”

“A Jedi holocron,” Kanan calmly said. “Something only someone with the force can open.”

“What is the forc-“

“No,” Kallus firmly said. “No, he does not have the force and you nor anyone else will train him!”

“We can’t keep denying it any longer,” Kanan said. “Dev is very strong with the force, he cannot just hide and pretend it isn’t there, believe me I tried for a long time.”

“If he trains, the Empire will relentlessly hunt him down,” Kallus said as he shakily got to his feet. “I will not let you so recklessly put him in danger!”

“This isn’t your choice to make,” Kanan said, “He needs to make this decision.”

“I’m his father,” Kallus snapped. “And he’s just a child!”

“He can’t ignore his abilities forever,” Kanan gently said. “He needs to learn to control his abilities to avoid detection by the Empire-“

“No! He-“

“Did you know all this time?” Ezra asked.

“What do you-“

“Did you know I could use the force whatever is it-“

“It’s everywhere,” Kanan said, “It surrounds us, penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together and it is strong with you Dev. It’s the only way you could have opened the Holocron.”

“Did you know?” Ezra repeated.

“I….I had my fears after you told me about your nightmare after Lasan-“

“Why?”

“You had a vision, you saw what happened on Lasan.” Kanan explained.

“I-….wow….” Ezra said, struggling to process the information he was being flooded with. “If you knew for all these years why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wanted to believe it wasn’t true, that you were just a normal boy who needed help,” Kallus reluctantly admitted. “I thought there was no one to teach you and that you would be better off not knowing the truth.”

“That wasn’t your choice to make-“

“You were just a child!” Kallus snapped. “I was not about to burden you with that kind of information especially so soon after learning your parents were missing. I tried to do what I thought would keep you safe. You can hate me for it but if I could do it over again I would do it the same.”

“I don’t hate you,” Ezra mumbled. “I-I can’t hate you.”

“I just wanted to keep you safe,” Kallus whispered. “I can’t lose you-“

“You won’t,” Kanan assured. “Family protects family. We won’t let anything happen to your son.”

“Besides,” Hera added, appearing in the doorway, “You can join us if you’d like. Regardless, you will be staying until you fully heal.”

“Something tells me that wasn’t a request,” Kallus deadpanned.

“You catch on quick,” Hera said with a smirk.

“This is Dev’s choice, not mine,” Kallus said. “If this is what you want to do, I will be behind you, one hundred percent.”

“Really?” Ezra asked.

“Of course,” Kallus said. Ezra looked between his father and Kanan, a part of him realizing he already knew the answer, before Kanan even asked the question. He could be what his parents were before his parents were before the Empire took them. He wanted to be able to help the people he loved so the Empire could no longer hurt them.

“I want to you to train me,” Ezra said.

Kanan beamed at Ezra before saying, “Let’s get started then.”

[kawai-kettu]

We need to talk about The Death Cure (2/5)

We need to talk about the Death Cure :

1. The Movie in General

2. Scene by Scene

3. The characters

4. The pairings

5. Random thoughts

Scene by scene

Attack of the train :

- seriously, the level of preparation and timing this first scene would require in real life, to have this train stop at this exact spot, is ridiculous. I loved that scene, but still…. I only accept this is possible because it was awesome to see all of them again. And also, for their common grinning when it succeeds.

- we actually have a clue that they’re picking the wrong wagon : Minho doesn’t react to Thomas banging on the walls of the wagon, only to Thomas’ voice, and said voice comes from further than it should. I actually wanted to strangle Thomas afterwards, because BOY, if your target was Minho YOU SHOULD HAVE CHECKED BETTER. There was a grid on the top of the train, you could have looked inside!!!

- I don’t like the easy, lazy ways to get out of some situations, especially from a series that didn’t have that in previous episodes : a clear instance of that was the Berg shooting at Brenda and Jorge when their car is next to the train, but then the Berg ceases fire, even when the car has stopped, and they send all theit soldiers outside, conveniently not shooting Brenda and Jorge down.

Torturing Minho :

- I love Minho’s hallucination sequence. At first, I read it as a gift to fans, but then I wondered if it also worked as a symbol of Minho’s psyche? It could say a lot : the Glade is seen deserted, seemingly  very recently abandonned, given that there’s still smoke coming from a fire, and hammocs are still hanging. It looks both familiar and gloomy, in a way. I analysed it as a symbol that despite them having left the Glade for a long time, their time in the Glade is still fresh in his mind ; it’s both a comfort  memory and somewhere he doesn’t want to return, and also, linked to the memories of friends, that are both heart-warming and painful given most are dead. …….also, who is this kid that runs through the Glade?? a symbol of Thomas? Of Newt? ……whatever explanation to this sequence, I just loved it, it was absolutely breathtaking and sad too. ……plus, I think it was interesting that his dream ended with a situation of helplessness despite having tried to escape, just like he must feel all day, trapped at WCKD as a lab rat… ç___ç

- also, him running from the Griever, in fright, took me back to The Fever Code. Because we know Minho is not a coward, so it does look like a frantic reflex, and I couldn’t help thinking back of how he got tortured as a kid. ç___ç

- I also love how they illustrate Teresa’s complexity. That first scene we have of her, watching Miho being tortured…. she’s flinching almost imperceptibly, but she’s also forcing herself to look : is she forcing herself to watch this as self-punishment? As a way to prove her allegiance to WCKD (given that Ava is watching her)? Or as a way to make sure Minho is being treated decently?

  On their way to the Last City :

- as fun as the crank tunnel scene was (…..or rather, scary fun, since I kept alternating between chuckling and jumping in scare), seriously, guys??? Turn off the shucking lights of your car!!!! Gods, you really have a death wish….. OR GO FOR IT AT TOP SPEED!!! I also loved that were they not rescued last minute, they would have died here. Because yeah, for the first (?) time, one of Thomas’ crazy plans doesn’t work. He hasn’t planned things through and he fails miserably. It happens again right after this, when they reach the protest ; Thomas wants to run head-first, blindly, to use this as a way to get in (just like he did up until now, save for the train attack that was so obviously a group effort) aaaand…. Jorge tells him it’s not even crazy, it’s unrealistic. This time, there’s no miracle, no spur-of-the-moment solution to be found. And indeed, they barely avoid being killed. I like how this highlights that Thomas is NOT a good leader and should learn not to jump into things. (….is it hopeless?)

- I loved that at Lawrence’s Rebels Headquarters, the Gladers seem to rekindle their link, the special relation between all of them. They clearly ignore Brenda, Jorge or the Rebels for that matter. It’s conveyed both through their dialogues and through the looks they throw at each other. Suddenly, their world seems to make sense again, because they’re together. (GLADERS FOR THE WIN!!)

  At WCKD :

- I liked what they did with Shai, because though some will say this development was to be expected, I didn’t think so. And I sympathised so much with Teresa in these scenes, I think you can really understand why she did all this, trying to save this little girl …..or rather, trying to save everyone, but all these victims were being embodied in a child, innocent and young, ; which is also working really well to explain how terrible this disease is and how important it would be to find a cure. (I think it’s also an echo of the second film, when Teresa smiles when looking at a little girl’s picture, wondering where she went, and is the only one reacting this way, the boys being focused on their own survival).

- that scene with Teresa spotting Thomas through the crowd was absolutely beautiful, and very interesting. I think it’s meant to make the spectator questions, what she’s seeing, if Thomas is really here or if her guilt is playing tricks with her mind…. ……It was perfect I LOVED it so MUCH, oh gods *_____* and then their whole conversation, where each stands by their opinion and you can see the moment Thomas loses faith in Teresa and she feels it, from the way he sounds both bitter and broken, and it hurts them both, and the music was beautiful and….. *sobs* it was amazing <3 “Do you regret?” “Sometimes, but I’d do it again.” “Good.” I would have wanted to be in Thomas’ mind sooooo much, when he’s letting her see him, knowing she’d follow, I wanted soooo much to know how he was feeling at that time.

- I also loved the scene where Ava is having a drink in her office, clearly accepting her defeat…. It was beautiful, aesthetically speaking. Plus, it empathised the difference between her and Janson. Her talking gives the impression she is not willing to do anything for her survival, contrary to Janson. But I think it’s wrong ; she IS willing to do anything, as long as there’s a chance. Now that it’s clear they’re doomed, she’ll let the boat sink while enjoying her alcohol. Janson, on the other hand, is still believing in his chances of survival regardless of how bad the situation is. In a way, he shares this desperate survival instinct with Thomas (.....in a way, I know they have very different values, don’t throw stones at me). I also liked that this is the first hint of Janson rebelling against Ava, in this. It also took me two viewings, to understand how pivotal this scene is, in setting a chain of events, because it’s THAT conversation that leads Janson to order the desperate serum collect on Minho, in an emergency (which had sounded a bit convenient on first viewing).

Interrogation scene :

- Gally interrogating Teresa was made of gold, I chuckled sooo much, but he was convincing too, I mean he was badass *___* and seriously, anyone wanting to write a Cop!Gally fic?? Please?? Plus, him getting angry about WCKD’s torturing Minho was just <3, as well as him being suspicious and protective when Thomas talks with her.

- I think in that moment Thomas hates her, as shown in his coldness to her and heated conversation afer the interrogation. I also think this scene is probably key regarding making him shift his feelings towards Gally. I also loved that Newt stays quiet and silent, even when Gally and Fry are talking about Teresa : on the one hand, it says a lot that he doesn’t stop them when he had been protective about her in the previous movies, but it also says a lot that he doesn’t take part in this conversation, even when we know he’s been suffocated by jealousy not too long ago (is he trying to remain in control and show he’s not affected by the Flare?).

- Finally, I adored the fact that despite her situation, Teresa’s brain is still focused on her scienntific research ; while Thomas lets himself get blinded by his resentment, she’s still very much in control of herself.

- The only thing I would have taken out of this scene, is the conversation between Brenda and Jorge, or rather, I would have kept it, but would not have played it to make it sound like Jorge is “running from a fight” (especially since it makes fucking sense he’s the one going to the Berg, given that in the book, he’s a pilot, so he could have been a pilot too, in another life, in movie!verse. Would explain him knowing so much about this Last City).

Infiltrating WCKD’s HQ :

- this scene of Thomas, Newt and Gally infiltrating WCKD HQ, joining smoothly and silently, was so very cool XD even though okay, guys, I still don’t see why you needed to separate or where you got these uniforms. I’ll forgive you, movie, because it looked so very cool. Also…. did I get a Star Wars reference in this scene of them rescueing the captured Immunes? Because it looked a loooot like the rescue of Princess Leia in A New Hope (which pleased me soooo much as a fan), complete with Skywalker!Newt opening the door of the cell and taking off his helmet after being mistaken for a real soldier <3 it was awesome <3 thank you moviiiiiie for this SW hommage :3 (though honestly, Thomas, how DUMB are you??? LOOK AT NEWT, does he LOOK allright??? He can force the safe, you know he can, so wtf, man up and make him stay there, take Gally with you, you IDIOT!!!)

- I loved the whole elevator scene, with Janson covering his bases now that he can’t count on Ava anymore (gotta love how coldly strategic the man is, even when infected). Also, Teresa looks downright terrified, and I think I misinterpreted this at first : I don’t think she’s afraid of Janson in this, given that she is never shown scared of him in any other scene. I think she’s terrified of Thomas in this. Of Thomas losing control, acting impulsively and rashly, the way she knows he can. We’re shown she knows him well, too : even though he managed to boil in silence for a grand 2 minutes, he ends up bumping into Janson’s shoulder on his way out, and I’m 80% convinced that Janson wouldn’t have smelled something was fishy had Thomas refrained from doing this. So Teresa was right to be terrified. Notice, though, how she manages to actually save the situation and still save her skin, while still pursuing her objective of finding a cure, wasn’t she awesome???? I think it’s also the very moment Thomas starts to believe in her again.

- Also, note that this is the single instance of Newt being snarly towards Teresa (“she’s trying to get into your head”), which sadly sounded like jealousy/illness taking control of him and leading to a self-destruction attitude, kinda (made me wonder if the virus was able to kinda “protect itself” and distorted Newt’s perceptions, so they there would be no tries to cure it).

- ……And gods, Thomas letting his anger get the best of him, taking off his helmet, yelling that there is no cure, is so intense, so stupidly Thomas, it was brilliant.

  - it’s only a side note, but I enjoyed so much Janson’s angry order to shut off the alarm. Because I’m working in an job environement where there are alarms sometimes and it’s the most annoying sound, there’s no one in the whole universe who wouldn’t want it to be turned off once it’s started to ring.

Saving Minho :

- the whole rescuing Minho phase was quite interesting, but what got my attention in this was more Minho (….and Newt’s state deteriorating ç___ç ). Berserk!Minho FTW XD The rest belongs to the pairings section of these comments, save for the fact that for once in this movie, one of Thomas’ crazy last-minute stunts succeeds (whooohoooo).

- I’m basically sold whenever Gally is in a scene, BUT I had been bothered by his last minute rescue of our trio, after their little jump. Well thinking about it during my second viewing, I have to admit it actually makes sense, and Gally’s strategy is wise. Waiting till the last minute to shoot the three soldiers enables him to come closer to his targets (less risk of failing when aiming from this close) plus it gives him a better surprise effect (given that their attention must have been on the trio, and it would have taken precious seconds to realize they’re actually targeted by one of their own). So okay, clever, here, movie.

Fall of the Last City :

- I really loved the whole Rebels attacking the Last City. Not only because the aesthetic here is beautiful, but because it was realistic. I was caught once in a protest that went wrong (….but not that wrong) and I got the very same feeling. Like…. this revolt had good basis, tbh. It was justified, fueled by the unfairness of the situation, the inequalities and the despair of all these people that feel (rightfully so) like they’ve been abandonned and left to die. Yet, once the attack starts, it clearly gets out of control, and instead of a revolt, we’re dealing with wild destruction.

- Gally seems both surprised and somehow mesmerized by that (if I’m not mistaken). And I loved it. I was wondering what was going on in his mind in that moment, really. After his initial reaction, though, did you notice how during this whole mess, Gally stay clear headed, clearly protecting them all, giving out warnings and orders, taking control, combat trained and efficient?? because it was awesome *___*  (my only problem with this scene, really, was that it was risky to keep their soldier uniforms, though really, taking them off was risky too, as they offer protection, so… *shrugs*)

- Also, we get clear confirmation that Thomas was wrong : Lawrence didn’t want time. He wanted a supposed kind of justice, which was probably only revenge or a way to punish and lash out at the people he sees responsible for his fate. But what he starts is actually raw violence, blind destruction, that has nothing to do with justice, and it felt realistic.

Newt’s death :

- I love that this revolution is getting out of control and causing a mess and destruction and is actually another cause of Newt’s death, given that even if it distracts the soldiers, it also prevents Brenda and the boys to reach Newt and Thomas on time. And it is pretty ironic and sad, because the Gladers are the spark that lit this fire.

- I won’t write a lot about Newt’s death. Because it’s been discussed much already. But I liked it, even though I still wishes it had been closer to the books (because I thought it was really cruel, to have Thomas purposely shooting Newt).

- I love the desperate running through hell, the fact that they’re clearly trying, giving it their best, trying to believe despite all odds, that they’re going to make it…. …..but what really gets me are the goodbyes. Newt thanking Minho, which you can read as thanks for being his friend, thanks for having saved his life and maybe so much more. But also, I read it as a “thank you for going to Brenda to retrieve the serum and coming back to me”, as Newt going with Thomas’ lie that it will be okay, that he’s going to make it, all so that Minho doesn’t see the horrible final moments, all so Minho can feel active instead of passively accepting what’s going on. And Gally goes with it too, even though I think he’s the one knowing the most what’s going to happen, he’s almost gentle with them here and it broke my heart.

- I also loved the desperate way Thomas is carrying Newt’s body, because I could easily understand, the way you’re exhausted but still trying and yet it’s not enough, and you just want to collapse and there’s a sob right there in your throat… DOB really delivers there, all through this, his face during the desperate call from Teresa (which, again, is straaaangely happening right before Newt looses it to the Flare).

- I love the way they mannage to show that Newt is still fighting the illness, that he fights desperately to remain in control and kill himself now it’s clear there won’t be any miracles, and I think that Thomas understands this. However, Thomas being Thomas, he denies suicide to Newt (because there’s a hope, there’s always a hope, he’s been through so many desperate moments, and he’s always managed, there’s always hope, just wait a little longer, just bear with this a seond more), and I think he is fueling Newt’s frustration and anger and making it more difficult to remain in control, like a vicious circle of pain.

- as said, I was really touched by Brenda’s running, heroically, flying with this life-saving miracle, but that it was in vain. And Thomas’s reaction, when Newt dies, gods…. The hurt, the guilt, the anger, the silent accusation when his eyes meet with Brenda’s and she’s too late, she’s too late when it was the only moment she should not have been. All with nothing but music, it was heart-breaking. But what made it worse was all of the boys reactions afterwards. Thomas, unable to deal with this, unable to stay, fueled by his guilt and hate (hesitating between hate towards WCKD or towards himself). Gally EDIT : it was not Gally, it was Fryyyyyy (Sorry Fry ç__ç), kneeling, solemn, paying respect to Newt but breaking  down soon after. But worst of all, Minho, collapsing, falling to his knees, like he can’t stand anymore, like his life is over too (reminding me of when he thought, in the Maze, that they were all condemned). ç____ç

Janson and Teresa’s deaths :

- I’m torn, about the last scene with Janson. I like that you’re given a clear understanding of Teresa’ motivations and the line she draws, the difference with Janson (and probably Ava). I also love that neither Teresa nor Thomas reallly stand a chance in a fight against Janson, and we’re reminded that these are teenagers, fighting against a grown man, a trained and cold-minded opponent (even if he’s infected).  I also absolutely love the way Thomas reacts to being shot, in disbelief (probably having felt but a sting, with the adrenaline) and then collapsing; Teresa’s reflexes to stop the bleeding…. but also, in this moment, them rekindling their relation, showing that they are still important to eachother. I also think, in this moment, that Teresa understands that she has lost the fight too, like Ava. Except there’s still someone left to protect, Thomas, and she’s fighting for him with all she has ç____ç On the other hand, and despite all those great things... I loathed the Deus ex Explosions. As well as the suddenly easily breakable glass in the Cranks’ cage. It spoiled the scene a little for me.

- Teresa’s death scene broke me. She’s carried him with the same determination as he carried Newt, but with even more strength, before they collapse. And when she tells him, brokenly, that she tried (an echo of Thomas wanting to try to save everyone), we get this shot of the cure, drenched in blood, and I think in that moment she sees it as a symbol of the suffering she caused, of the price that had to be paid, for one single vial…. *sobs* I also like how much she fights to get him to safety, but also the fact that once he is safe, she just stops. I heard people complaining, saying it was a lazy death because she had time to get into the Berg. I don’t think it was lazy. I think it was suicide. She accepts her fate, smiling, not even trying to get into the berg. Apart from this, I hated the shot of them all watching her fall. But in general, I have mixed feelings about deaths in TMR (I loved Ben’s banishing but hated Chuck’s death, it was too much, too forced).

- On a side note, I loved that Vince takes the time to secure himself before approaching the void, while Minho doesn’t, and also loved the whole group’s reactions, belatedly, to Thomas’ wound.

Epilogue :

- basically, I loved the whole Paradise scene. It was rewarding, as a fan, to see them reaching happiness. Yet, it also broke my heart to watch this, and I loved how, instead on focusing on their happy end, they decided to focus on remembering the ones who are missing. I think that’s what survivors would need. To try not to feel guilty. To try to have something familiar with them. But also to create a link between these people that are basically strangers, a link through the fact that they all lost important people. It seemed incredibly human, to end this trilogy on remembering the characters that were lost along the way.

- ………and Newt’s reading his letter. I don’t know whose idea it was but it’s both emotional, cruel and brilliant ç___ç

[peterjonesparker]

Are you interested in any oyher Spiderman characters? (Homecoming and/or not?)

oh hello!! honestly, i really loved all the characters in spiderman: homecoming. and i’m gonna be so extra right now and like…give mini headcanons for all my babes. so i’m sorry in advance. but like…

we have our decathlon team babies

so like…liz is totally the mama bear. she’s the only senior on the team because she was one of the founding members her junior year and her friends were all too busy focusing on their other extracurriculars and college apps so it was just a bunch of little freshman she’d managed to convince to join the team

and liz did so much research and trained the team and asked her cousin who won a decathlon competition when he was in high school what was helpful for their team

so she takes over and gets mr. harrington to work with the team and she shapes the team into one that could win

and they’re all her babies like let’s be honest

charles and abraham are the twins that are attached at the hip but never stop fighting. they’re the dynamic duo and what abraham doesn’t know, charles does. they’re best friends and they hang out all the time and they obsess over star trek and have a secret rivalry going on with ned and peter because they are the star wars kids. and they’re sworn to hate each other until the end of time. (but also charles and abraham will freak out when the trailer for the last jedi gets released and immediately text the group chat nerds in space to ask peter and ned what they thought.) and abraham has to smack charles on the head when the boy catches his friend staring at sally for too long and charles just mumbles something about how she had something on her shirt and it’s fine.

and then you have sally and cindy. who are just like…so done with the team half the time. like, you’ve got peter, ned, charles, and abraham who just spend all their time obsessing over space themed movies. and flash just constantly berates everyone. michelle is lowkey kinda scary. (they are also lowkey in love with her but shhh.) and liz is like…well, liz is their mom so they love liz. but even mr. harrington is a mess. but sally and cindy make the best of it because they love each other and they love decathlon and they watch a week’s worth of jeopardy together every sunday and they quiz each other in cindy’s mom’s car on the way to school. and they talk about sally’s small, minuscule crush on charles (”really, sally? charles??? he’s a nerd!!” “you think i don’t know that and am also disappointed in myself!!” “oh my goodness but you guys would be so cute who am i kidding”) and they talk about cindy’s very large crush on betty brant (”cindy, she totally checked you out just now!!” “wHAT? omg, how is my hair??”). and they talk about which classes they’re taking so they can be in most of the same classes and they talk about college and their hearts lowkey break when they think about how cindy wants to stay in new york and sally wants to go to the west coast but they’ll be bffs forever so they have hope. (”we have skype, it’ll be okay, yeah?”)

and then you have flash. and flash has got so much shit going on like wtf dude. his parents are super wealthy and try to support him and try to be there but they’re always traveling for work and he’s basically been raised by his nanny. so it’s his nanny who pesters him about this massive crush he has on someone on the decathlon team because each day she picks him up from decathlon practice he’s always raging and sighing and looking sad. and flash just vehemently denies this. because that’s ridiculous, please don’t suggest something like that. but she knows him so well. she’s raised him. she just doesn’t realize that it’s fucking peter parker. peter parker who he terrorizes because he doesn’t want to deal with how he’s feeling. peter parker who has a great ass that he couldn’t help but slap that one time before nationals on the way to the pool. peter parker, who’s a dork and definitely not worthy of flash’s attention but has it anyway. so, maybe he’s not dealing healthily. but he’s got a silent war raging in his head and he doesn’t want to have to tell his parents that he’s bi because once his dad had made an offhand comment and it decided things for him. so flash just…rages and hides behind his wealth and intelligence and snaky comments. because he doesn’t wanna deal with anything

and omg i’ve talked about peter and mj and even ned a bit so i won’t write about them here but i love my babies so much okay???

we also have our peter parker protection squad

may parker, the loml. who’s characterization i can never get bc we have civil war may and then also homecoming may. but may parker who is a hero in her own right because we all know about that scene where she saves a little girl and doesn’t mention it that got cut from the movie. (rip me, honestly.) and like…can we talk about may?? because she seems like such a groovy, fun loving person. and she was married to her husband ben. they were totally wild in college or something. just…always doing crazy shit and laughing and having sex and just enjoying being with each other. and then they get married and get jobs and live together, being happy little hippies. (maybe they partake in some substances, idk, you never know.) and then her husband’s brother and wife die and they’re taking in peter parker. and may falls in love with this little boy because he’s so…good. and she and ben raise him as their own and try to give him an exciting and happy childhood and encourage his interests in science and his friendship with ned. and then he tells them he’s joining the decathlon team and there’s a field trip and he’s so excited about life. and then he acts all dodgy and then ben dies. and like…may is heartbroken. because ben was her person. and peter’s stopped talking to her. but then he gets the stark internship (which he didn’t tell her about, so rude) and then he’s happy and if he’s happy then she’s happy because she takes every good thing she can these days because they are so far and few between. so she takes every little piece of happiness she can find in life. like talking to mr. delmar and chatting with his daughter she’s she in the shop. like the woman who sells flowers on the corner on her way to work. like the cute couple that works at the supermarket by the apartment who give her recipes like ones for walnut date bread. and even like tony stark, who for whatever reason has become peter’s mentor of sorts and who makes him happy. and if someone makes her nephew happy, they make her happy

and dad!tony. who gives his spider son anything he wants and invites him upstate every so often so he can train with the avengers and learn to control his powers. because even if he isn’t going to be an avenger, he’s still going to be your friendly neighborhood spiderman. and he throws peter parker a birthday party in the summer at a fancy restaurant he’s bought out for the night. and all of peter’s little high school friends come and tony’s happy to give this to peter because the kid just needs to be a kid and needs to be happy. and don’t think tony doesn’t notice the way peter’s eyes follow that girl michelle all night. the girl who’s also asking him all these questions about the sokovia accords and his decision to move upstate and how he almost let a bunch of avenger and alien tech get stolen and about wakanda and if he’s ever been. and tony just wishes peter good luck at the end of the night and smiles because the boy is so confused. (if peter doesn’t realize it yet, oh goodness, good luck to this boy, honestly.) and tony pulls some strings to make sure that peter gets into mit and then finds out that he didn’t even need to because peter’s already a great candidate. and when he helps peter move into his dorm and sees michelle there, who just so happens to go to harvard down the block, well, peter just smiles and wishes peter good luck again

happy hogan disappointed me and doesn’t get to have a whole paragraph. but he can REDEEM HIMSELF later on because peter is a smol bean and needs protection and happy starts answering his calls and listening to his voicemails. and maybe happy laughs occasionally at the lame jokes peter makes, but that’s bESIDE THE POINT

and then just like...our small mentions

aaron davis exists in mcu and mentioned his nephew MILES MORALES. like, dude, idek what they’re gonna do with miles morales but i am soooo hype. idek. i am just so excited. bc donald glover was inspired as aaron davis. (“i like bread!) he was such a cool character and i wanna know if he becomes the prowler. and i wanna see him with his family and talking to his little nephew about how he met spiderman twice and he was like…a chill dude and he’s doing his part to keep their home safe. and miles morales is probably like…the biggest fan of spiderman and dresses up as him for halloween and then one day he gets bitten by this crazy huge spider while visiting his favorite uncle aaron and he starts developing superpowers? like omg this is his greatest dream come true? and then he starts going out in hopes of finding spiderman so he can team up with the dude that once saved his uncle. and then one day he’s trying to stop a mugging and spiderman comes and is just like…”what??” so they stop the muggers and then they go to a rooftop and spiderman is super confused like, “what? you have my powers?? how did this happen?” and miles is just like, “omg! you’re the spiderman! you’re my hero! omg! hi, i just want to help!!” and then maybe we get an older and younger brother dynamic between the two? idk i’m just excited to see what happens because they have to put miles morales in mcu. it’s decided

also i don’t think she’s gonna be in mcu but i love my baby gwen stacy. my smart beautiful dorky bean gwen. and i love when she’s put into fics. and she was put into this fic as liz allan’s love interest and it was inspired and i fell in love. so. yes. #putgweninfic2k17

not sure if this is what you were asking for but here it is anyway!

[sheusedtobesassier]

Day 10,249

Mm, I think this might be the part when I never talk to you again. Hm, hm. Right? Like. You saying nothing is you saying something. Right????

Why won't you say anything? Goddammit.

That night we drove to Burger King and back listening to Scorpion. It was at the end of the summer. The very quick transition from me and you and everybody else to just us. You were impressed with, "A wise man once said nothing at all." Mm. I was fucking amazed because I'd spent the whole past winter/spring driving those county roads at night listening to Drake alone and I just couldn't believe that somehow I might get to spend my whole fall doing the same thing but With You.

Remember the night laying in my bed you were like, "Ughhh I wish we could go somewhere!" and I was like, "OH YES OOH WE COULD GO CLIMB OBSERVATORY HILL IN THE MOONLIGHT IT'S REALLY PRETTY." and had a handful of other ambitious suggestions. You grinned then concentrated your phone for a while then without looking up said, "I just meant like, I wish we could go get food but everything is so far away." And I was glad it was dark to hide my disappointment. So. We didn't go anywhere. And I distinctly remember feeling in that moment a like, settling. Like a knowing that the fun late night imagination part was all over now. I felt it leave us I swear.

"Let's go out in the fields and take off our shoes and walk through the grass. Then we can go up to the falls. It's beautiful up there in the moonlight. And there's a green pool up there, and we can, uh, swim in it, and then we can climb Mt. Bedford and smell the pines and watch the sun rise against the peaks. And we'll stay up there the whole night and everybody will be talking. There'll be a terrific scandal." Then Violet tramples the possibility and George Bailey gets embarrassed.

Mm I remembered today how I pulled you into the trees by the playground, lol. It gets especially dark over there. You told me much later you thought we were finally gonna kiss that night, but I didn't think that at all then. I just wanted to get closer than we were supposed to. Yeah, of course, earlier we'd sat in the way way back of a children's talent show. Squeezed right up next to each other. Calm and collected. Trying to subtly hold hands without anybody noticing. I guess we didn't get away with it, haha? Tyler just brought it up the other day and called it "hand fucking".

You were always subtly touching me like it wasn't a big deal at the start. Like constantly? Getting away with it every chance you could? Seeing if I'd let you??? Fuck. Wow. Mm, mm. God, what a sweet fucking summer that was. What a great beginning.

Mm I was not long ago remembering that night in Courtney's garage!! We'd all gone on a trip somewhere far that day and everybody got back to camp after the usual curfew. You and Courtney had rode together (I had been specifically instructed not to ride with you) and y'all were still sitting in her car talking. I climbed in the back and laid down. I was worn out from the day, too tired to resist being near you. Somehow you two convinced me we should make a quick drive to Courtney's house and come right back. I don't remember why lol. But. Courtney went inside for something and left the two of us alone together, which we'd almost never been. I was still laying down across the backseat. You turned completely around and pressed against the back of your seat. Rested your chin on your hand and just looked at me. And neither of us said a thing. You were smiling. Pleased. Focused on me. I fucking knew you were thinking about how pretty I was. Lol and like, that's the delicate way to put it. We stared at each other and said nothing and both knew exactly what was happening. Mhm. It probably didn't even last five minutes, but might as well have been all night. God, such captivation.

It was all soooo delicious then.

And now like. Fuck. Now I think you won't even let you think of me. I think you're gonna tune me out. Like you've done with other people you've decided not to love anymore. You won't want to talk about me. Will you? You won't.

I don't think I was in your songs except maybe the one about how you were going to leave soon.

That night you hopped in my bed and like proudly announced that you'd let me be the first person to ask you questions about your album. Like it was an honor. And it fucking was. And I knew it. But I don't think I came up with any questions, did I? I could feel me let you down. I could feel it whenever I didn't know the words for what mattered to you. I'm so sorry.

Mm, remember during Foreman Training when I talked about how somebody being on their phone indicates they'd rather be somewhere else than where they are? Mm. Mhm. You were like, almost always on your phone when you were in my bed. You know that's true right? By the end you were always on your phone. Always.

I think Fortnite will be a dealbreaker from here on out. It won't be cute. It'll be a tell. I see these TikToks where the girlfriend strolls naked in front of her gamer boyfriend. His jaw drops and he puts down his controller and calls her baby and chases after her. I think you would shake your head and we'd laugh about it and you'd keep on playing and say, "oh nothing." into your mic so I'd lay in your bed to wait and write about how stupid I felt. I think because I know I've got two or three of those journal entries.

WHY WON'T YOU LET US TALK ABOUT US?

Your refusal is breaking my fucking heart.

And like, you're fine with that? You're fine with it.

So I just won't let me think about any of it now. Because as it is I'm just like, self mangling. I remember the same good parts over and over but suddenly the tiny terrible things are chewing on me. And you are polite. And you are kind. And you type to me like you aren't you and I'm not me? I'm trying to talk to somebody who won't talk back. You're falling asleep in Illinois with no interest in holding me in Wisconsin. Same as when you would fall asleep on the right with no interest in holding me on the left. Where I would bury myself in you if I could. Damn by the end I couldn't fall asleep without you? I'd ask you to stay and you would. But sometimes I wouldn't reach for you because it really really felt like I wasn't supposed to. You didn't fucking want me at the end and I don't believe you when you say that isn't true. You didn't. I know because I was always wanting you so if you were ever wanting me too then.

I'm always wanting you now so if you ever want me too then.

But you didn't notice I was always wanting you because you didn't actually care if I wanted you or not. Because it wasn't important to you. Or hell, maybe you were bored with it? Tired of it?

I just think. Maybe I just have to be mad at you now. Maybe it's the safest thing now. Maybe it's the only way I can stop fucking bothering you.

Aw, I hope someday we see each other and I leave you alone. Like we just exchange smiles from across the room. And I leave you alone. And for just like, a second you can remember what was wonderful about me. What you couldn't keep your hands off of. Just for one goddamn second. And I leave you alone. And then that's it. And we don't cry about it ever again. God, like the end of fucking La La Land. You would hate that movie. But like that.

The way you've left me has broken my heart and I'm really not interested in letting you off the hook for that.

[foggyinjapan-blog]

6th Nov. Nara

I want to go to Nara today which is a 45 minute train ride from Kyoto station. There's one temple and a deer garden I just have to visit!! Instead of riding 45 minutes to Kyoto station, I use my brain and ride 15 minutes to the nearest train station and catch the train from there. I am so smart tehe! As I'm riding over the bumps in the path my nose ring keeps jiggling and making me want to sneeze hahaha! Why you do this!? I reach Kyoto station and board my next train to Nara! Woo I am killing it!

As I walk in the first temple, Kōfuku-ji there are signs everywhere saying strictly no drones. This isn’t the first time I've seen this at it makes me quite sad to think that some people think it's ok to bring a drone to a temple... Majority of Kōfuku-ji Temple is under construction so I wonder through quickly. The gardeners are blowing the autumn leaves away with a blower vac too so I'm not inclined to stay long. I'm wearing my sunnies too and the lenses are sick! They make colours appear more vibrant and give more depth. Thankyou Oakley!

Nara is much quieter than Kyoto and Osaka. I fall in love as soon as stepping off the train. I hate too many people and this seems like the perfect town to explore. The buildings seem modern and there is tourist information everywhere. Very welcoming of tourists which I really do appreciate. What a lovely town and everyone seems so friendly. They have a little deer mascot for the town to! It reminds me of Kutchan's skiing potato where I lived in Niseko last year.

I arrive a the deer park and meet my first new friends. Kawaii! These ones are inside a fence though so maybe they were naughty or something!? And there is a baby one too! I keep walking through and there's a food cart to purchase food for the deer. There's a few smart ones hanging out near the food cart. That's where I'd be haha! It's only 150 yen to feed them so I grab bundle of biscuits. Crossing the road and there's soooo many! I feed a couple here and there and I end up getting rolled by 4 of them at once hahaha! The bastards! They have done this before I know it! They lured me in with the baby and then bam!!! Snitch all my food haha! One of them kept trying to eat my shirt too. That is not food young one. So after I've been robbed I get a few metres up the path and there's a deer staring right at me with puppy dog eyes. I start patting it and giving him scratches. He really likes it!! He wouldn't leave me so I just kept patting him for like 10 minutes. Got some photos and I'm a happy camper. I was the one to say goodbye which was sad, but I have to move on!

There's a huge line up ahead for Nara National Museum and I see the sign and it says "time to get in: 40 minutes" ... fuck that! And there's an exhibition on Shoso-in Treasures run by the museum up ahead which I want to look at anyway. No line there! You're not allowed to take photographs in the museum so I don't have any of those, but I feel like I learnt so much! I took notes and I'm going to do some research on the bits I found the most interesting. I read every panel of every sculpture in there! So amazing, the history dates back to the 6th century. There are many that are in tact and many that are not in such good shape. They have been through a lot. It's really cool to see history that dates so far back as well.

Tadai-ji temple temple is where I'm heading next. It has the biggest bronze Buddha in Japan and indeed, it was bloody huge! I wonder if they built the Buddha first and then the building?? They would have had to it’s far too big to get through the windows! There's some sculptures out the back of remodeling of the building over the centuries, so I'm going to guess that I'm right. I bought 2 postcards so I can remember the day and my dear friend, deer. I’ll call him Deerek. The deer literally roam everywhere through this part of town. They are so great with humans and even kids! We are still warned they might attack or bite though. It's a bit said that the males have had their antlers cut off though. I guess that's so they don't hurt anyone walking through.

For lunch I stop at a restaurant near Todai-ji Temple. As you walk in you're supposed to wrote your name down so they know who was next. I didn't see this so didn't write my name down for a while ahhh. I guess I have to wait a bit longer. I'm hungryyyyy! The food I had was rice, miso, tempura with a fishy sauce followed by coffee and a tasting of dessert. It was delicious! Japan's food is crazy good!

Now I love my denim and I've been noticing lately that some of the elder Japanese love their denim too. In fact other parts of their fashion are similar to what I like. Haha bless! The majority of the younger Japanese go for a more elegant look whereas mine is more laid back I guess! It looks like they put in a lot of effort each morning! Too much effort for me. But I do I wish I had the thickness of their hair!

I set off to go and find Isuien Garden which I have read about online. I take a sneaky little back street which I think is the right way??? There's no one around... oh well adventure! I nailed it, I make it to the front of the gardens and right next door is another garden called Yoshikien Garden. At the door it says free entry for overseas tourists. Brilliant! I notice as well that they have received an award from Trip Advisor dated 2017. Sweet. I walk in and the gardens are like a fairy take! So beautiful and unique. The trees that are growing I've near seen before (I'll be sure to put a picture up) and they give off a mysterious vibe. This garden is well taken care of. It's so calming. It is huge as well! There are a few tea rooms along the way and the first one actually has traditional home made glass that they would have made back in the day. Wow. The autumn leaves really do bring this whole picture together too. I head through past the waterfall to the moss garden, the few rest areas and back around to the pond. The red leaves really do stand out. This garden is so tranquil, I'm so glad I found it!

Next door at Isuien Garden and I am greeted with a 900 yen fee for entry to the garden and the museum, you can't just get a ticket for the garden, you have to pay for both. 900 yen is by far the most expensive I have paid for an entry fee. That is highway robbery, this is the whole $9 Coca-Cola situation again! I am still getting over that! $9 for a bloody post mix coke at Dicky Knees in Falls. What an absolute joke! I walk in and yes, the gardens are beautiful but I still like Yoshikien Garden. I walk around the lake and the beauty of the autumn leaves still amaze me. In the back corner there is a section covered in moss with the sun shining through. So beautiful! It looks like it should be in an art gallery. There's a section where you can cross stepping stones over a bit of the lake, there's a mill spinning and a waterfall beside it. Such beauty.

I go in the museum because I've bloody paid for it so I guess I have to. I have no idea what's going on. There's a bunch of knobs on display from what I read... what are knobs!? I mean I know what the human version of a knob is... I've come across a few in my life. But what is this sculpture-of-a-turtle knob, there's a camel one as well. It wasn't until I reached the second, smaller room that I had worked it out! It's an engraving into a rock and is used as a stamp to sign your name. 'Ohhh I know what these are! Didn't  know they were called knobs though haha!" (* I just googled Japanese knob, and guess what! A whole bunch of bloody door knobs showed up! Silly! *)

I head back towards the station and get myself a banana and chocolate smoothie along the way. Best smoothie I’ve ever had!!!! I finish it all hazar! On my way past I notice this ridiculously busy food shop and everyone was going nuts outside! I saw it in the morning too and everyone was going mad. Man I wish I stopped there and sussed it out, but I was so focused on my smoothie. I really want to see what that shop sells and go crazy like everyone else. If I decide to come back to Nara I will definitely stop by and have a look. There's a few other things that I would love to check out too but they were a bit far from the city centre, maybe I could hire a bike and go exploring!!! Hmmm the dreams!

[shintorikhazumi]

A Ginger Romeo x Tsundere Juliet: Chapter 1

Prologue Start-

“Are you my Juliet?”

“If only you’d be my Romeo.”

 The flames engulfed the small country cottage as a crimson-haired female remained locked in the Captain of the Royal Guard’s embrace, screaming at the soldiers to stop this cruel act. Her lover, she prayed, must’ve escaped before the flames worsened, right? She hoped so. She wished he would not be burned to a crisp, baked like his famous breads and cakes.

Tears of joy and relief flowed down her face as she saw auburn locks emerge from the falling house. But as soon as those tears of happiness came, they turned into tears of fright, horror and dread as he was immediately apprehended and made to kneel before the girl’s father. The King of Canzone, the place of song.

She saw the monarch’s gaze burn with rage hotter than the physical fire just beside them. He stared at the lean body, feeling his anger boil even more at this lad who had almost violated a valuable asset to his success. He didn’t really care about the girl herself, he cared about the benefits he gained from her. He merely needed her as his little ‘support’. He could marry her off to some rich tycoon for all he cared, someday, but this boy was getting in the way of such plans.

Love. Ha! A petty, irrelevant thing. His own brother fell ill to its charms and see what it got him. It brought him six feet below the ground.

The Ruler kicked the baker in the chest, nice and firm. The brunette offered him a frightful glare in return. He struck the boy again, hoping to lighten his rage, yet it only seemed to heighten his negativity even further.

“YOU RAT! I should throw you in the dungeon! Maybe send you to some jungle to die! How dare you touch what’s mine!” He carried on with the assault, halting only to let the boy catch his breath, catch a glimmer of hope before he was destroyed.

“Please, stop!” The weakening princess cried.

“Oh?” Her father turned his attention to the crying lass before returning to the fairly battered teen. “You hear that? She cries for you! She never did that for any of the suitors I set up for her before… So why does she… for some lowly mutt.” He spat at the infamous thorn in his side. “What have you done to her? You’ve bewitched her!” He delivered a resounding slap across the handsome face. “Should I send you to an island? Maybe you could die alone? That would make me soooo happy!”

“Stop! Please stop this! Don’t hurt him! Don’t take him away from me!! Please father, don’t… don’t!”

“Maki!” Although he had been beaten black and blue, the strength and ferocity in the young man’s voice shook the earth on which the King stood. The lovers gazed at each other, Romance blooming through those stares.

The adult looked on the exchange in silence. Maki actually felt a strong fear from noticing it. It never meant peace if it was silence from the harsh ruler. That man’s greed knew no bounds. And all this desperate struggling was getting to him. He finally broke the peace, addressing his ‘daughter’. She felt a chill run down her spine. Something was definitely going to happen.

“I beg of you, my king.” Her voice turned small. “Don’t take him away from me.”

“Hmmm?” His attention focused on her, “Don’t worry.”  He laughed, it sounded like death itself. “Don’t worry~” He sang. “I won’t be the one taking him from you.” Her father’s steel-cold voice resounded.

“Huh?”

“The gods will. I will only be the one sending him there. To a place he can be happy. Happy and alive. Alive yet… dead.” He spoke the last word with so much hate, you could have seen it float in the air. “Say Goodbye, Maki.” It sounded like a command that she was supposed to obey. As her father raised his sword up over his head, men held the boy’s head down, revealing his pale neck, marred with a few burns.

The fact that the boy neither cried nor screamed for mercy, urked the King to no end. It was as if the boy refused to admit he was at fault. It even seemed as if he, the mighty king of Canzone was the one in the wrong. He growled at the lad’s figure.

“Romeo is no more of a prince than you are a Juliet.”

“Honoka!”

“If he were, pray you’ll meet in the next world.”

“Farewell… Montague.”

End

~0~0~0~0~

“Romeo, oi… Kousaka Romeo. Where the heck are you at?”

“For the last time, Umi, my name is Honoka! Weren’t you supposed to be smart or something? Or do you just have some kind of short-term memory loss, Dory?” Honoka popped out of a bunch of leaves and at the sight that greeted him, tried his best to hide his amusement at the face Umi was making, but to no avail.

“I am, for a fact, smart, and for your information, that’s what everyone calls you anyway!” Umi huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “And can you get down from there? Why are you even hiding in a tree in the first place?” He reprimanded the other teen, as he did almost every day.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m looking to catch a glimpse of the lovely flower known as the female.” Honoka smirked, continuing his search from up high. “And I think I’ve caught a glimpse of the lovely daughter of the Minami’s.

“O-oi!”

“I know, I know. Calm down. I won’t touch her… a lot.”

“Honoka!” Umi began to climb after his childhood friend as the latter climbed even higher up the old oak tree in the center of the village. It was their secret base after all. The place they always played at from their days in elementary and training school.

“I’m just joking. Don’t you worry your handsome little face one bit, Sonoda-sama. Sir Horatio would take back your knighthood if he saw you like that.” Honoka poked at the wrinkles between the bluenette’s forehead, continuing to laugh at his compadre’s expense.

“And you should try harder to gain your knighthood! If only they knew how talented you were with a sword, moreso than I am-“

“Umi, I am but a humble baker. Baking is my life, the bakery keeps food on my table and water in my tub, clothes to drape over this frail form and lights to keep away the ghouls and any and all creatures of darkness.” Honoka stated dramatically as he jumped down from the high branch he was on, landing with such grace as if were just stepping down from a short stool, of course, winking at the ladies who passed by at the same time as they blushed and gushed, and giggled.

“And yet you still wonder as to why people call you Romeo.” Umi sighed, running a hand through silky locks. “If they knew of our secret-“

“Shhh… we promised to never speak of that till my next birthday.” Honoka’s back was turned to Umi, but the prodigious knight knew that his friend was anxious of his coming of age and the revealing of their well-kept secret. He tried to approach the strong figure, placing a hand on his shoulder for moral support.

“Don’t worry. You’ve been living like this for sixteen years already. And I’ve been sent to protect you, I live for you. When the time comes, your seventeenth birthday, everyone will know. Even that horrid King of Canzone.” Umi squeezed the well-toned shoulder of the baker. “I swear I will keep you from harm.”

Honoka’s laugh was the most beautiful song you could’ve heard, well maybe second only to the boy’s actual voice… and maybe Kotori’s, but… it was a tone with so much charisma and it was utterly contagious that Umi found himself laughing along. Something he had not been able to do in a while. If not for his master, he would never have laughed or even chuckled in his life.

“Thank you, friend. I will be on my way and so should you. The bakery needs tending to and I know you don’t have as loose a schedule as you portray it to be. Knights’ jobs aren’t so easy, you know.” Honoka gave Umi a slap to the shoulder as he stuck his hands in his pockets. The male waved goodbye to his friend, not once looking back to the soldier.

“Hah… you are most welcome.” With a sigh and scratch to the head, the Knight left to attend to his duties for the day.

~0~0~0~0~

 The auburn-haired baker took a leisurely calming stroll through the familiar town of Adagio, in the kingdom of Suono, kingdom of Sound. The kingdom he was born in. Due to problems in the past, such as the former kind King and Queen of Suono dying, the cause hidden from almost everyone, and their heir missing, the prime minister, The Grand Duke, Minami-sama, and Sir Horatio, Captain of the Royal Guard had been assigned to provide guidance and protection for the Kingdom.

The neighboring Kingdom, Canzone, was ruled by the Capulet lineage, but the once warm and friendly country turned hostile as they tried to overthrow and subject Suono to their rule, led by a new King, King Cattivo, who was rumored to have killed his own half-brother for the throne, the Kind man from the Nishikino branch of the Capulet family. He took the man’s wife and daughter and claimed them as his own, even though he thoroughly abused his queen because she refused his advances.

Honoka shook his head in disgust. That man was as fit to be King as an elephant was fit to be a mouse. He raised the taxes in Canzone and the money that didn’t go into his pocket, which was around five to a mere ten percent, went to deadly weapons, illegal magic research, and military reinforcement. The baker hadn’t noticed how hard he was gritting his pearly whites till he felt pain. He couldn’t help it. Just the thought of all the imprisoned citizens of Canzone made him want to cry blood.

“Romeo!” A playful tap on his shoulder roused him out of his complex thoughts about repulsive political matters and brought him back to reality, a gesture he was most grateful for.

“Yes?” Standing before him was Eli Ayase, the only female Knight who had made it into the Royal Guard despite all the rigorous training. She said she owed a great debt to the former King and Queen and wanted to repay it by protecting them, but it seemed impossible now, with how they had passed on and all. Instead, she requested to be assigned to protect the baker, something that other Royal Guards found utterly ridiculous. Why would a Royal Guard, an extremely talented one at that, ask to protect the town’s baker?

“How are you doing Honoka?” She asked the sixteen-year old cook, as she joined in on his stroll towards his bakery. It was obcious she cared a great deal for him. She was extra protective too. When the blonde had time, she’d take Honoka out to eat or spend her days off right at the ginger’s side. Sometimes, Honoka found that he didn’t quite understand her actions himself, but being the sweet gentleman he was, discarded unneeded thoughts.

“I am doing just fine, Madam Eli. If I may be so bold as to question a Knight, why are you here… with me… again?” Honoka flashed another one of his flirty smiles towards the Guard who was unfazed.

“You know why I am here. I would spend every second of my life by your side if I had to.” Was the reply that the blonde always gave without fail. Her eyes shining with sheer sincerity and determination.

“And I told you already that it’s alright even if you didn’t. You need not dedicate your life to someone so lowly as myself. Meister Ayase would be displeased by your great disservice to the country.” Honoka spoke in a formal manner for once, something he seldom did. The conversation was going in a bad direction, and both could feel the shift.

“My father would be proud of the path I’ve chosen, and that is to keep you from harm’s way.” The other responded with a religious fervor that matched the intensity of the ginger’s stare.

“I already have Umi for that. I don’t need two of you Knights. In fact, I could well defend myself from danger.” Honoka spoke in a factual tone, and Eli knew that the man’s words were nothing short of the truth and nothing came to mind that could oppose the solid statement. His mood was starting to sour and he disagreed with that side to himself, the side that could easily get hurt and hurt.

“I know that, and yet I still worry, just as Sir Sonoda does. That is the reason-“ Without letting the girl finish, Honoka spun on his heel to walk away from the annoyance. Eli’s presence in itself wasn’t annoying, but the way both she and Umi would dote on him unnerved Honoka to no end.

“Wait! Don’t just leave, hey we were-“ It wasn’t as though he hated her company, it was more that he knew that another one of their debates was taking place. It didn’t worry him if it was concerning him himself since they’d forgive on another eventually, but that didn’t change the fact that he strongly disliked hurting the older girl. The guilt would always stick around like a pest.

“Eli.” For the first time since this morning began, the baker’s voice turned hostile and chilly. Threatening. It was so unlike his usual cheery, playful character. But there was one more emotion that coated his next words. “Don’t you trust me?”

Of course she did. Of course Ayase Eli trusted her master. More than anything else, actually. More than anyone. Moreso than her seniors and the people who raised and took care of her, even.

But somehow, it was quite the challenge to put those feelings into words.

Honoka, deeply wounded from the lack of response from the blonde, readied himself to sprint away, unable to bear the thought of his blonde friend seeing him break into tears. As he began turning to the opposite direction, arms around his midsection kept him firmly planted in his spot and encased in a warm embrace.

“I do.” The breath next to his ear was ticklish, and the words poked at his heart strings. “But, I still worry despite my deep belief in you.” The golden-haired knight sighed as she felt the boy turn to return the embrace. “I’m sorry.” She whispered. She tightened her hold, forgetting for once that they were in the middle of town, well into the morning.

“I understand. I just wished you could let me go a bit. Or at least loosen the leash you and Umi have tied around me.” Not a single sound escaped their mouths during the next few moments, as they continued in that very suggestive situation that could have meant anything with how close they were. Eli secretly admitted it felt wonderful. Locked in this person’s embrace, she felt safest here.

Honoka began to laugh awkwardly as he cleared his suddenly hoarse throat, seeing as too many people had begun staring. None of those gazes welcome.

“Ehem. Anyway, if both of you wish to not tarnish your reputations, I suggest you… ehem... disentangle yourselves from one another.

“Umi!” They both released the other and jumped a safe distance from each other as they hid their embarrassed faces from the blue-haired knight.

“And here I thought we had rounds to do together Eli.” Umi ran a hand through his locks. The day had just started and he was already exhausted.

“Ah… Yeah! That’s right. Well then, excuse me… Kousaka-san.” Eli, along with Umi bowed to their secret master, running off to god knows where for their tasks for the day.

“Yeah, take care.” Honoka waved and stretched his arms above his head, ready to open up shop for the day. At least his baked goods would always make him happy, and at least they trusted him with their deliciously crisp lives.

“Fight dayo!”

~0~0~0~0~

“One baguette, maybe a dozen baker’s choice doughnuts, and some of your freshly made lemon jam.” A female customer told the man behind the counter as he gave a curt nod and went to gather the order.

“Oi, boss… here’s the request.”

Honoka smiled at his helper. He was quite mature in years, with a large build, most thought he was some bouncer or soldier, but he surprisingly loved sweets and pastries. This job was a perfect fit for him and Honoka laughed as only he knew of this secret side of his partner.

“Here you go Benvolio. Make sure you hand the pretty lady a flower for service.” The brunette winked at the lady on the opposite side of the counter as heat rose to her face. Benvolio smirked, accepting the customly made basket of goods.

“Flirt.”

“Sweets-lover.”

Honoka couldn’t contain his laughter as the older man tried to hit him with a piece of French bread but missed significantly.

“You are much too naïve. As if a piece of bread coupled with your slow movements could have an effect on me.” Before the angered Benvolio could deal a second swing, the daughter of the duke entered.

“Oh! Miss Minami!” Honoka greeted with a grin. “Here for another creampuff? Oh! I just remembered, we had them made in a form you’d be most pleased with. Just a moment.” The baker went further into his spacious kitchen to retrieve the mentioned sweet as Minami Kotori all but giggled. She had not spoken a word, and yet her childhood friend knew her so well. But he seemed to always forgot one thing.

“Honoka! I’ve told you a dozen times-“

“Here, Kotori!” Her unspoken demand had already been granted in the form of being addressed by her given name, and a delightful present that was an alpaca-shaped creampuff was handed to her. “Free of charge. Customer service.” The male blushed as he was rewarded with a kiss to the cheek.

“Just make sure your ‘Customer Services’ don’t put you out of business, my sweet baker.” Kotori liked how Honoka was the only person who would treat her as normal. Not like how others would. People who were afraid of her social status and standing.

“Out of business?” Honoka gloated, raising a challenging brow. “As if.” His chest puffed out in pride, he took her other orders and served the other customers too with brilliant hospitality.

~0~0~0~0~

“So are you done for the day?” Kotori was seated in one of the shop’s comfortable chairs, placed for customers who wanted to drink tea and chat in the homely atmosphere the bakery presented.

The sun looked like it was just about to set, and Honoka was shocked as she finally noticed how long the ash-gray brunette had waited for him.

“So you actually have some business with me?” Honoka sighed, ashamed that he had left his friend waiting too long. She usually didn’t stay in the bakery this long if it wasn’t for something important. “I’ll go get changed quickly madam, don’t fret.” He flashed his business smile and ran to the changing room to get dressed.

Stepping out in casual wear, he offered his arm for the lady to take, being the gentleman he was, and after ensuring his place was well locked up and secure, they took a stroll to any place their feet would take them.

~0~0~0~0~

The peaceful atmosphere between the two best friends was one of the reasons Honoka loved spending time with her. Kotori was a very beautiful young lady, and the boy couldn’t help but appreciate her during times like this. Times when they would just silently understand each other, no words needed. In turn, Kotori also appreciated the kind and accepting, and very romantic and loving nature of the auburn-haired Knight in training.

Their walks usually happened when something was troubling either teen, and Honoka would usually be the comforter, at times taking sweets along for a late-afternoon picnic or from time-to-time, a secret midnight snack-slash-rendezvous.

Of course the two were strictly best friends. Of course.

Reaching the river, Honoka spoke up as they had been quiet for quite a while already, the purpling skies telling them that they had actually been walking for a fair amount of time. “Is this about Umi again?” He winced as he received a blow to the arm. Women were quite strong nowadays.

“No. It’s a proper business proposal this time. Not that I would not like to get to that, but…” Pink dusted her pale cheeks.

“Ahaha… I understand. So what job?”

Kotori led Honoka beside the riverbank where they usually played (even at their age neither believed they were too old for games), and took seat. She remained silent and Honoka felt the pangs of worry tug at his heart. “Ko-“

“I don’t want you hurt.” She whispered.

“What was that?” Honoka didn’t quite catch that statement. Prying never sat well with the sword wielder, not that he always took one along, but he actually was quite the fighter. He was even skilled with a bow. “Kotori, is everything alri-“

“Actually, I have a friend.” The male frowned, getting cut off twice wasn’t exactly his idea of fun, but He did want to hear what his precious counterpart had to say. “She… she doesn’t get along well with her family and I was wondering… well… if you could…”

Kotori trailed off once more, mumbling words and letting out random phrases, making Honoka picture out some broken record. “Could you just tell me what’s going on?”  No response came. “Kotori?” He attempted to put a hand on the noble’s shoulder.

“Gah! This is bad… I can’t put you through this!” The sudden yell made Honoka jump in surprise. He felt his heart pumping so strongly, it sould have well leapt out of his tight chest. The female placed her hands on her head: she seemed to be deeply troubled. She knew the other teen would accept, even if it meant facing ghosts of the past that would surely be there to haunt him for much, much longer. She needed to consider all the results, all the effects it would have, pleasant or horrid. She didn’t want to put him through any of it, knowing a fraction of his past. “Never mind I’ll just ask someone else-“

“What is it?! What do you need?” Honoka could no longer take this tenseness, this anxiety to know what was running in Kotori’s mind, the suspense was killing him. Not only that, all those close to him were making him feel as though if he were untrustworthy. Like their problems were something he could never hope to help with, let alone fix, and yet they all meddled in his affairs!

“Honoka…?”

“Please…” The warm hand embracing hers made the tears that were threatening to spill, stop their insistent pushing. “Trust me with this. Let me help you.” Honoka truly was a smooth talker. His expressive eyes telling you all you needed to know and understand. He was a very open person, keeping no secrets. Ok not exactly, but… you just couldn’t bear to fail a person such as him.

“Maki needs help, you see.” Kotori finally told her friend, not noticing the close proximity between their faces. Honoka, however, did and did his best to pull away, and hoping he hadn’t been too obvious.

“Ok… ehem-so some girl needs time away from her family. I’m guessing you want me to help her escape?” Honoka spilled Kotori’s plan for her. He knew if he let her lay it out in full, they’d reach the dawn of the following day just discussing a simple matter like how to tie a rope to a tree. Don’t ask, Honoka would say. It happened.

“Yes… it’s just…”

“Just?

“You might have some trouble and it’s more dangerous than the usual.” Kotori looked at Honoka’s baby blue orbs filled with excitement and thirst for adventure. She didn’t want to put out that spark, but… “Also you need to know this. I don’t want you surprised, or caught off guard to the point of having little mishaps, okay? You have to be safe coming back. God knows Eli would have my head.”

“Oh come on, what could happen? No accident will just ‘happen’. And why would I be shocked? Is your friend an extremely noble person?” Honoka laughed and Kotori wished she could too. It just wasn’t the right situation for it. She knew Honoka remembered most of his past, despite it happening when he was at such a young age. It meant Trauma to be reminded of this. It meant a bad kind of shock.

Kotori took a deep breath, preparing herself for the worst. “The truth is…” The eager anticipation seen through Honoka’s body language was evident as he waited for a new adventure. “She’s the princess of Canzone. Nishikino Maki, from the Capulet branch.”

Honoka’s sparkling eyes dulled as his jaw hung slack. The fire in him doused with a bucket of water. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Kotori found she hated awkward silences like this. They felt nothing like the tranquil moments she spent with Honoka, those without words. She felt the dire need for her friend to say something, anything to ease the fear that was beginning to grow in the young maiden’s heart.

“Are you still… up for it? I mean- you don’t have to force yourself or anything, okay?!” Kotori was beginning to think it was a bad idea to present this task to Honoka and panicked. The smile sent her way, vanquished those fears.

“If you trust me enough to ask this of me, how could I ever refuse?”

“You know if you keep that up, I might just fall for you.” Kotori giggled, feeling relief flood her entire being.

“I’d rather you not. Please don’t. I’m too young to be in heaven.”

“I didn’t know there was an age qualification for death.”

“Well now you do.” The jabs and jokes lightened the atmosphere of the lovely chilly evening.

~0~0~0~0~

A few wrestling matches later, Honoka decided to take heed to the warnings of the swift dropping of the temperature and proposed to take the girl home, despite her refusal, and against his better judgment. Why? Because a certain female Knight would be searching for him.

“Let’s get you home before Eli finds me and drags me home.”

“Alright.” The Ash-brunette gave in, not wanting to further impose on her friend’s kindness. “Kyaa!”

“And up you go!” Kotori swore her the whole town- no kingdom could hear her thumping heart. Honoka had carried her, bridal style, as he laughed at her shaking form. “Hold on tight! The Honoka express is bound for the Minami Residence! Fight dayo!” And with the speed of light, he sprinted towards the aforementioned location, taking small detours where they could see the beautiful stars, and probably take shortcuts.

“Idiot.” She sighed, feeling light as a feather as she was carried safely home. She knew she was safe. With this person, who wouldn’t be?

 “Why are you two with me?! I wanted to go alone!”

“And we said you can’t.” Umi replied flatly, swatting a branch away from his path and pointedly ignoring his auburn-haired master as they continued their trek through the deep forests.

“What the heck? And here I was thinking that I was the master.”

“You went against our ground rules. Think about it as getting grounded.” Eli told Honoka, recalling last night’s events after the latter came home.

~0~0~0~0~

“To any power or celestial being out there, I pray that my guards are asleep. Thanks.” Honoka clasped his hands together in front of his humble abode.

“I hope they answer your pleas, yeah?”

“Crap.” Turning to address the owner of the smooth voice, Honoka chuckled fearfully. “Hi… I’m sorry, Eli.” He gave up on forming an excuse, seeing how tired the knight seemed to be. “Sometimes I wish you’d sleep without me. I know how tired you actually are.” In futile attempts to turn away the wrath of his guardian, Honoka smiled the smile he knew she was weak against.

“You know we can’t do that. And yet you still are so selfish.” Umi’s voice joined in the conversation as he leaned on one of the posts by the stairs. Honoka glared at the male.

“Kotori had a request for me.” He explained. The blonde felt a sudden rush, as she panicked, her eyes widening in shock and slight anger.

“Honoka! We agreed on no more jobs like that!” Eli shook the boy by the shoulders. “You promised!” Kotori’s jobs always had a hint of danger laced in. Eli didn’t like the sound of an endangered Honoka. Sometimes, she even disapproved of their meetings because they seemed to always lead to these little missions Honoka loved.

The two knew of their friend’s joy in taking part of an adventure and helping others, but if it was at the risk of his own soul, they would go so far as to ban the baker from meeting up with the Duke’s daughter.

“Then what am I to do?!” He felt ticked off, raising his voice as he unintentionally banged a fist in the middle of their shared dining table. “Be a baker my entire life? You both agree that I have my fair share of skills. I can protect my own being.” Honoka found himself questioning his friend’s trust in him again.

“I need action every now and then! And it’s a simple task! I just need to grab some girl and take her away from her house for a while.”

“You’re kidnapping a girl from her home?!” Eli looked as she if she would faint any moment at the revealing of the actual thing.

“Correction, it’s no home. It is simply a shelter. That’s why she needs to get away from it. And I am not ‘kidnapping’ her, I am helping her out.” Honoka frowned at the thought. What a sad life that child led.

“So? Who is this person?” Umi seemed to grasp the situation and with how he said it, his services were available for Honoka’s use.

“It’s the princess of Canzone.” He admitted. The pair saw the seriousness and conviction burning in their charge’s eyes, yet they still feared for worse. The fact that another kingdom was involved, even so because it was Canzone, especially because it involved Royal blood, it could already be labeled as worse enough.

“No.”

“Ugh!” Honoka prepared to march off and lock himself in his quarters till daybreak. He didn’t care about their opinions anymore. He’d go anyway, he thought. With a mindset to sneak out, he guessed he would have to rest up to have the strength he needed for the journey. His was about to slam his door shut, but their statement stopped him in his tracks.

“Not unless you take us with you.” They smiled. They knew he would have to agree. They’d stalk him even if he didn’t. They were confident he’d say yes.

“No.”

Well, whatever. It didn’t change the fact that they’d be on a journey tomorrow. They were accompanying him, no buts allowed.

~0~0~0~0~

 “Eeeellliiiii!!!” Honoka whined. “Just why couldn’t we have taken Berto?”

Honoka had woken before the crack of dawn to pick up the map and instructions from the Minami’s, but the formerly sleeping knights had awoken at the sound of running footsteps outside. He hoped that if Eli did come along, she would have at least brought Berto.

Bertomoligio was Eli’s pet dragon. She used him for hunts and travels and such.

“We’re trying to secretly take that princess out, right? What good would it be if we attracted soldiers and patrollers and scout’s attention? We’d be dead before we got to her. And there goes your plan to save a soul.”

“At least I tried.” Honoka sighed, draggin along his tired feet. He hadn’t slept much last night, plus he was slightly out of shape, always being confined at home by the two guardians. Spotting a flowing creek, his spirits were lifted and he took a dash for it, discarding his sandals to the side as he cooled the bruised skin in the flowing water.

“Child.” Umi retorted.

“That, I am.” Honoka laughed as he splashed along everywhere. “How ‘bout we take a rest? I brought bread!”

The three planned their approach during that break. They were about five kilometers from the kingdom walls and the guards could well likely spot them from a kilometer’s distance. They needed to get in, but that was impossible if they couldn’t even go near the barricades.

“So Kotori’s map tells of a moat encircling the walls and a drawbridge by the south entrance. The North has a brick walkway-bridge and most watchers are stationed by these two entrances.” Umi drew out the first plans on the dirt with a stick.

“A fourth of a kilometer east from the walls, there is a well. It’s a dried up one that is, in truth, a secret passage. If we could make it there, and fortunately we can due to the east being a fairly wooded area, we’ll have a sure gate pass in.” Honoka explained, the two nodding their agreement. “We execute our approach when we are the least visible. Nightfall.”

~0~0~0~0~

Night came speedily as the three, fully charged, ran as silently as they could to the targeted location. They found the well quite easily, their eyes having already adjusted to the darkness. They could see the lights from torches and could hear a few voices from the walls.

“I think there is some kind of celebration?” Eli asked.

“That’s a good opportunity for us. Let’s move while we are yet to be noticed.” Honoka told his companions as they jumped into the well, lighting a torch as they were well into the passage.

“I wonder why they are so… loud. I thought this place was unhappy… for the citizens.” Honoka stated his opinion of the country.

“Aren’t those just the rich ones? Maybe they decided to celebrate how foolishly rich they are?” Eli responded with disinterest. “We should be near enough-“

“Who goes there!” A voice bellowed. “See I told you there was a chance someone would sneak in through here!”

“Shut up Matthias. Who’s there?” A pair of city lookouts approached the corner where the trio had stuck their backs to.

“They seem like an easy win.” Honoka told his partners in crime.

“I agree.” Umi whispered back, smiling as if he read his master’s thoughts. Nodding to Eli, they began the count.

“3,2…1”

~0~0~0~0~

“So… where should we place their unconscious bodies?”

“Wait, we may be able to use their uniforms.”

“Good idea, Honoka.” Umi began disrobing the pair, Eli scrunching up her nose in disgust.

“You two go do that. Who knows where those have been.” She turned around to allow the males some privacy as they changed into their ‘disguise’.

“Infiltration has no room for hygiene.” The boys laughed as they shared a high-five. “Though we do admit it’s quite gross.”

“See?”

The disguises worked surprisingly well, well supposing most of the guards were pretty much intoxicated and incapacitated. It was a simple sneaking in for the spies.

“This place is prone to conquest if they keep this up.” Umi sighed in discontent and disappointment. “And here I was afraid of their defenses.”

“I don’t think we should underestimate them.” Honoka spoke under his breath, only for the knights to hear as he nodded a greeting to a passerby as they were able to approach the center, the castle.

“How do we get in now?” Umi asked Eli, the one who held the map at the moment.

“There is a small manhole nearby that is connected to the aqueducts of the castle baths.” She stated as the two understood immediately what she meant, and took off the stinky armor and were left in normal clothing. “We’ll go through there.”

Crawling their way in, the three emerged in the dead center of a large bath. Wet and soaked to their boots, they headed off to any spare room in search of fitting garments that would also help in hiding them in the royal palace.

“Are we good on time?” Honoka asked Umi who pulled out a silver pocket watch and saw that it was about two in the morning as they followed the map in search of the princess’ quarters.

The three had realized that the place was even larger than the drawn out map had suggested, and working their way through was quite confusing. Along with the additional knock-out here and there, the three made sure that they weren’t noticeable in the slightest. The background of the partying only supported their cause.

When they reached what seemed to be the corridor that lead up to all the royal housing and bedrooms, Eli had almost stepped in to a hallway when she felt restriction of movement.

“Hey, isn’t it this one he-“ A hand covered Eli’s mouth unexpectedly, she would’ve fought back and nearly screamed had Honoka’s voice not soothed her, informing her that it was only he who had held her.

“Shhh… Look.” He pointed at the room Eli mentioned. Two maids were knocking at the door. They seemed desperate.

“Maki-ojousama, your father calls for you to join in the party!” The silver-haired one spoke meekly.

“I refuse to be his plaything. He’ll just make me an entertainment for his guests and for those stuuuppiiid suitors.” A voice responded from behind closed doors.

“Maki-sama!”

“Leave.” The weight of the word was so heavy because she meant it.

“Yes.”

Honoka felt a pain in his chest. That one spoken word held anger and bitterness, but also loneliness and hurt. He felt the sudden urge to protect whoever it was behind those wooden separators. To embrace the crying soul. If only he could he-

“Honoka? Let’s go!” Umi tugged at his shirt as they approached the room, making sure to look out for patrolling officers. Honoka briskly tapped on the door, hearing sniffles from the inside. He felt his own soul fall to pieces as the speed of his knocks increased significantly.

“GO away! I told you I don’t want to!”

“Ummm, no. That’s not it. Ummm…. Ahh… how should I say this.” The blue-eyed gentleman was at a loss for words for the first time and he didn’t know how to deal with that. “Actually-“

“So you must be another suitor my father sent.” The voice was coated with venom, and Honoka winced at how painful it was. “You should already know I’m not interested. I will never be interested.”

“Really now?” Honoka smelled a challenge, and grinned. He loved it. “We’re going in.” He instructed to his co-conspirators as they helped him pick the lock. As soon as the door clicked and swung open, a pillow met Honoka’s dashing smile.

“Are you some kind of pervert? I said I’m not interested!” Honoka took the object that was in the way of his line of vision. Before he could lash out a reply, gorgeous lilac greeted him with the most vivid rosy red he’d seen in a lifetime.

“Hello.” Was all that fell from his lips as the one opposite from him, pillow clutched tightly in front of her form stared at the being in front of her.

“Hello.” He was in no means, bad looking. He was rather charming. Maki thought, but immediately shook her head to rid them of those thoughts. Any suitor, no matter how handsome, as long as it was from her father, would be a horrible man. “Please leave. You are not supposed to be here.” She told him. She didn’t want to deal with any men at the moment.

“No wait! The truth is-“

“You there! What are you doing with the princess… wait why are you even he- Intruders!” The loud interruption prompted them to turn to the sound of the voice. A Royal Guard, Honoka assumed, had spotted them. Well, the door was wide open.

“Umi, Eli.” That’s when the princess noticed that there were actually other people there, besides her handsome intruder.

“Who are you people-“

“Do you trust us?” Honoka suddenly asked, her hand offered to be taken by the beautiful woman in front of him. Maki looked behind the boy, his two companions fighting off the most elite forces, hand-picked by the king and top generals themselves, with such ease that she was beginning to really question these people’s identities.

“Honestly, no.” She spoke earnestly, locking Violet with blue.

“Good. I don’t either,” She looked at the male incredulously. How could he say such a statement? How was she supposed to feel assured? “- but… we were sent by Minami Kotori-sama to help you.”

“Kotori did?” She felt joy and sincere gratitude well up at the mention of her friend’s name. Maybe she could place herself in the hands of these strangers, if they, indeed, were sent by her dear friend.

“You can thank her later, but for now- woah!” The ginger dodged the stray spear that had hit the large glass window behind them, creating the perfect escape route for the culprits. “That was close, right princess?” He had subconsciously pulled her close in an act of defense, but she seemed to find it repulsive. “Oh, forgive my rudeness.” The male, noticing this, apologized.

“I-it’s fine.”

“Honoka! We need to leave, so if you could just!” Umi was starting to back away from the door as he approached their window of opportunity… literal window of opportunity, Eli following suit. It wasn’t as though they find it hard, but they were beginning to attract too much attention and they wanted to escape unidentified, after all.

“Got it.” He turned once more to the still processing noble. “Well then, excuse me and forgive my rudeness once more but…” She, at first, couldn’t comprehend the meaning behind those words till she felt him hoist her up, gently into his arms as Eli dug around under the bed in search of something.

“Found it!” She held up a small bag with the princess’ escape belongings. Kotori had told them about it. That she had instructed the Nishikino heir to prepare for escape any time.

“Let’s go!” Umi jumped out first, followed by Eli, the sounds of sirens ringing throughout the kingdom, replacing the previous noises of merrymaking.

“Shall we? Wait, do you trust me?” Honoka teased, dodging another arrow. It baffled the girl in her arms that this weird man still found the time to be pulling jokes. Honoka had turned to the unwelcome guests. “Tsk, it’s not good shooting at your own princess.” He scolded, as he mumbled a few incoherent phrases. “So princess… your verdict?” He chuckled at the frustrated expression she wore. He knew what she wanted now.

“I do for now… so just-!”

“I understand.” Honoka faced the crowd of soldiers. “I enjoyed the game gentleman, but I must bid thee farewell. Arrivederci!” He grinned and fell off the window “I understand.” Honoka faced the crowd of soldiers. “I enjoyed the game gentleman, but I must bid thee farewell. Arrivederci!” He grinned and fell off the window sill, his back facing the ground, with the princess cradled tightly in his hold, the screams erupting from the lovely lady not fazing him in the slightest.

Landing perfectly on his feet, he shot a lazy grin to the one wrapped in his arms. “Now wasn’t that fun.” He received a red cheek in return and an angry red-head walking away from him and opting to walk beside his blonde protector.

“Never again.”

Landing perfectly on his feet, he shot a lazy grin to the one wrapped in his arms. “Now wasn’t that fun.” He received a red cheek in return and an angry red-head walking away from him and opting to walk beside his blonde protector.

“Never again.”

“I take that as a solid yes.” He shared a fist bump with his usually stoic faced friend. They watched that two ladies hit it off naturally as they spoke of their common dislikes, particularly, Honoka’s care-free and, truthfully, aloof personality. The man in question found a large Cheshire cat-like grin plastered onto his face as he focused on the maiden in her night gown, the one who he might just have the pleasure of knowing these next few days.

Stretching his arms and raising his fist in the air, he felt the muscles relax after all that running. He knew that he was looking forward to this new chapter of his story. Looking up to the mix of orange and sky blue tints, just like the rising sun, a new day, a new option, a path was opening up to him. “Fight dayo.” He encouraged himself.

“This is gonna be a blast!”

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz/dbo 24.05.17 lb

ouff yeh mahasangam week toh meri jaan hi lekar jaayegi. 😖😖😖

plain text version here.  

hmph first 5 min bas kal ka repeat. cheatercocks! 😒😒😒

i love gauri's face when she says "kisi ki himmat nahi hoti thi humse panga lene ki!" 💗💗💗

god it's unfair how fucking pretty this girl is. 😍😍😍ughhhhhhh. i didn't need to fall in love with yet another girl from this stupid universe, and then feel compelled to follow her story. goddamnnnit. 😒😒😒

LMAO CHULBUL BHABI. 😂😂😂

yaaaaaay, the phone connection is outttt. 😊😊😊

lol i love how ALL of them managed to have a conversation with gauri in like the 3 minutes she had om's phone. 😆😆😆

shivaay and anika be feeling they almost have a functional and conventional relationship now. 😋😋😋

i love how excited shivaay is that she can drive a bulldozer. 😂😂😂

"nahi aata bade bhaiyya, par hum na bohut sayaani chirraiya hai!" 

god she's sooooooo fucking cuteeeee. 😚😚😚

shivaay's recounting anika's property destruction so fondly. i guess this is what true love is. 😌😌😌

also what being FUCKINGGGGG RICHHHHH is. 😑😑😑

"dono bhaabiyon ki achchi jamegi, tod-phod mein kaafi vishwaas rakhti hai." 

lmaooooooooooo 😂😂😂

oh no, is she going to do her stupid candy trick? 😒😒😒

ugh she is. 🙄🙄🙄

snorttttttttttt. poor bade bhaiyya. 😆😆😆

looks like om's coming around to the idea of being married to this girl. 😗😗😗

lmaoooooooo, anika's like "go ahead, it's perfectly fine to maim my husband!" 😊😊😊

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

well deserved and theek nishaane par laga. 😏😏😏

"waise bhi pyaas lagi thi bhaabi, koi baat nahi." 

snort. 😆😆😆

it's amazing how both brothers have learnt to recognize the signs and duck in time, though. 😂😂😂

FORESHADOWINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. 😯😯😯

ugh dadi, don't want your cheesy lecture. go away. 🙄🙄🙄

kanji aankhein have fallennnn on someoneeeeeeee. 👀👀👀

lol his actual START when she sneaks up on him. 😂😂😂

oufff khatam karo yaaar yeh track. she's beginning to annoy meeeee now. 😤😤😤

oh boy, he has SSO-businessman-of-the-year face on. ohhhhhhhh NT. tu toh gayi. 😬😬😬

ooooh shivaay bought off the gunda? 😧😧😧

lmao even better, he put khanna on him with a gun to his head. 😆😆😆

aaaaaand we're back to manhandling and accusing. ugh. honestly so over this nonsense. when is he going to get to know the truth and CRY TEARS OF BLOOD?????? 😡😡😡

... y'know what, om is cancelled. he's cancelled. i'm so done with him. i can't handle his bs anymore. they better have a hell of a redemption track for him if i have to ever like him again. 😤😤😤

what thatttttttttt????? 🤔🤔🤔

ughhhhhhh is mummeh gonna know shivaay was snooping thanks to this goddamn sticker??? 😩😩😩

lmao nakuul we get it, you're trying to listen. itnaaaaaa bhi acting mat karo. 🙄🙄🙄

the dubbing in this scene is soooo bad. 😑😑😑

has shivaay heard or notttttt????? 😫😫😫

why is she wiping her cheek when NT didn't even get NEAR her? 🙄🙄

oufffff shivaay, hide better! 😒😒😒

thank god, i thought he'd get caught. 😬😬😬

there's still the matter of that fucking sticker though. 😥😥😥

HE STILL DIDN'T SEE WHO THE FUCK IT WAS??????????? OH MY GOD THIS FUCKING IDIOT. 😩😩😩

anddddd great. rudra fucking distracted her. 😑😑😑

ANIKA YOU WERE GIVEN SOMETHING TO DO AND... ouff. forget it. 😒😒😒

ouff, again with this garbageeeeeeee. 😠😠😠

DROP HER TO THE GODDAMN TRAIN STATION YOURSELF THEN. 😡😡😡

bardaasht toh hum tumhe nahi kar paa rahe, om. ☠☠☠

god. his scenes are getting as unbearable as the pinky scenes. how they've murdered my sweet boy. 😩😩😩

what happened to I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS OF ME!?!? pfffft. awaiiiii ki badi baatein. 🙄🙄🙄

goddddddddddd this damn kul-gothra pooja again. HE DOESN'T CARE WHO HER FAM IS. FIND A NEW SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM!!!!!!! 😒😒😒

lol, nope! she doesn't know her khoon khaandaan either! 😊😊😊

lmao anika's dirty look at NT's hand on her shoulder. 😂😂😂

ok despite ALL this, if shivaay hasn't understood who's behind all this, all i have to say is... 

lmaoooooooo, oh choti maa. you put your eggs in the wrong basket. 😂😂😂

ugh as usual, dadi is the fucking worstttttttttt. 😒😒😒

lol has shakti been here all along??? like... i genuinely got startled when i heard his voice coz i didn't even realise he was in the scene. 😐😐😐

deadline just got pushed waaaaaaay up, kids. 😬😬😬

... you should take that shirt off too, shivaay. seems to be getting in the way. no? ok. worth a shot. 😌😌😌

DUDE YOU'RE AN IDIOT. ALSO IT'S A FAMILY MEMBER. it's fucking cutthroat to EXPOSE a family member. like... what's your PLAN??? 😒😒😒

ouff, they could have used this time for some chulbul bhaabi - devarji bonding time instead. 😗😗😗

ab kaaahe ki ek aaatma. sab apne mein hi mast hai. shareer bhi teen, atma bhi teen. sigh. 😔😔😔

ugh dadi you and your tharki insinuations. 😑😑😑

NOT FUCKING AGAIN. OM I AM THISSSSSSSS CLOSE TO FEEDING YOU TO JANGO. HONESTLY. 🐊🐊🐊

i swear to god, if this stupid girl actually eats zehar because of this asshole, I AM GOING TO SET THE WORLD ON FIREEEEEEEEEEEE. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

not even focusing what's being said in this scene coz nakuul's in all black, and he's got his shirt sleeves folded up to the elbow and that's my kryptonite. 😍😍😍😍😍😍

"hum kuch karenge."

WOHI TOH PROBLEM HAIIIIIIIII. TUM DONO AAJ ITNEEEEE HOT LAG RAHE HO, AUR KUCH KAR HI NAHI RAHE HO. KUCH KAROOO YAAR. AT LEAST GET TO SECOND BASE. 😩😩😩

... TELL ME THIS STICKER BECOMES FUCKING USEFUL. PLEASE. 😣😣😣

i think my expectations of shivani are so low at this point that, other than the earrings, i think anika looks pretty good? like... i wish the sari was draped less poofily, but overall i don’t HATE it? 😕😕😕 

i've missed rudra's jokes sooooooooooo much. it's criminal how much they're not using leenesh's comic timing. 😌😌😌

this rudra - NT interaction is giving me life. honestly the besttttttt part of this episode so far! 😂😂😂

my aesthetic: shivaay singh oberoi having to physically hold back his smol and angry wife. 😚😚😚

"kuch bhi ho jaaye, hum saath the, saath hai, aur saath rahenge. HAMESHA." 

who's crying? not me. nope. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

wohiiii toh HUM poooonch rahe hai, TUMHARI PROBLEM KYAAAAAA HAIIIIIII OM???? like... LIFE MEIN. 😒😒😒

... ok, like can't argue with him here. he's been pretty clear from the get-go that he's not into this marriage at all. but jhanvi's playing dadi pt. 2 and just... forcing him into it. 😑😑😑

please jhanvi, save your sane and calming words for the son who is worth it. 

hint: it's the other one. 😶😶😶

SIZE 5! pinky tu toh gayi. 😌😌😌

every time rudra calls gauri chulbul bhaabi, i get 3 years added to my lifespan. 😊😊😊

lol rudra selling OBRO moment to the max. 😆😆😆

oooh i like the new "lafzon ka yeh" version for goofy moments like this! 😊😊😊

LOL RUDRA! my little dumpling. i missed youuuuuu. 😘😘😘

my beauuuuuuuutiful boys! 💖💖💖💖💖💖

kaisi ghatiya overactingggg kar rahi ho, anika? 🙄🙄🙄

too distracted by the clacking of anika's earrings to pay attention to this boring conversation. 😐😐😐

oh shit, NT is doing popat of plan by going to shivaay instead! 😯😯😯

maha-aarti kaun karega? le, ghoom phir ke back to episode 1 waala issue. 😐😐😐

yaaaaaaaaas, my boys!!!!!! GODDAMNITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT CAN I JUST HAVE THEM IN ONEEEE SHOWWWWW AGAIN??????? *cries tears of blood* 😭😭😭😭😭😭

OUFFFFF YAAAAAAAR, KITNE DINO TAK CHALEGA YEHHHHHHHH TRACKKKKK?!?! IT'S THURSDAYY TOMORROW ALREADYYYYY!!!!!!!!! OUFFFF. 😩😩😩😩😩

[keeplovinanyway]

Vidcon Day 2

another little thing just for me and my friends :)

Right now, I am in the train back from Amsterdam. I am an emotional mess and can’t quite make sense of my feelings and what’s happened, so here I am again, attempting to write down the second day of Vidcon.

It started off with me waking up way too early again, and then I also was really early at the convention center. I was there at about 8:15 when I only wanted to attend a panel at 9:30. So I got myself a sandwich and a latte and sat down at the chillout area, taking some time to be a little more quiet and observe the very few people that were already scattered around the hall.

The night before I’d activated an international roaming flat so I would have data for the day, because I found the Wifi stuff the day before really annoying. I could charge my phone there though so that was what I did, and I was a little bit on twitter and then just reading on my phone.

After a while I went to find Josi in the m&g area, who was queuing up for someone’s m&g at 9:30. We chatted a little bit, before I went to the Auditorium to A Conversation About Mental Health.

That panel was sooooo amazing. It featured Kati Morton, who moderated again, as well as TomSka and two girls I didn’t know before. Kati is a therapist and does educational videos on Mental Health, and the other three are just regular youtubers who talk about their personal experiences with mental health on their channels. Kati is very calming in the way she talks to people, so it was just a very chill and interesting discussion that happened on stage. It also felt really personal and intimate, both for the pre-planned conversation topics as well as the questions that viewers asked after a while.

When the panel ended there was half an hour until the next panel started in the Auditorium again, which was There’s A Troll In The Dungeon, it was about trolls on youtube who comment hate just for the sake of it. Kati moderated it again, and the other youtubers were Jana Vlogs, Dodie and again a woman I didn’t know before. It was a very honest discussion and they raised many good points, explained their personal experiences and how they handle things like this, and so on. When the questions opened, I raised my hand and Kati picked me immediately (thanks Kati! :D it was good I talked to her the day before, I guess) and I asked what their thoughts on fans are when creators receive hate, because fandoms can get insanely protective, and I wanted to know how they look at it. I was quite nervous when I was talking but they appreciated the question a lot it seemed, Dodie even especially thanked me for it afterwards, and that made me really happy!

At those panels I also talked to a friend we made in a groupchat before Vidcon, Monica, who is also super nice.

After the panel we had again half and hour to get to the Holy Trinity Q&A. Josi had arrived at the panel after a while as well, so we went together and then saved a seat for Lena as well. They were unplanned and lovely on stage, and really funny and wonderful.

We left right after the Q&A ended and Lena and Josi rushed to the m&g to get in line for Tyler’s m&g as early as possible (which is an hour before the m&g’s start, which was exactly when the Q&A ended, whiiich was 13:30). My ankle had started hurting in the morning, no idea why, so I stayed behind, went to the toilet and got lunch for the three of us to eat in line. In line we also met up with Mees, who was as well from the groupchat we made before. He was so sweet!

The time passed really quickly because all of a sudden I got really, really nervous to meet Tyler. Especially when he actually arrived, I got really jittery and even scared. I’d been so excited to meet him for weeks, and I love him and wanted it to feel nice and special, and I was really scared that the experience wouldn’t live up to my expectations. Then on top I was also annoyed with myself for being so nervous now, when I don’t usually feel that way around Tyler anymore, and I’d been so calm meeting Hannah! Luckily Josi was a sweetheart and hugged me a lot.

Finally it was our turn. Lena went first, and I filmed her meeting Tyler, and then Josi went and I filmed her too. Josi had some things planned she wanted to say to him, so she took a little longer, and the photographers were getting soooo annoyed at her! It really bothered me, how much they rushed everyone. Josi took only one minute 19 seconds (video proof :P) but they acted as if she was there five minutes. Tyler didn’t even seem to care, but they were just so incredibly pushy, just shy of actually yelling at people to go away.

Then it was my turn, I handed Lena her phone back and she filmed me while I went up to Tyler. He immediately smiled when he recognized me and I was sooo happy right away. He greeted and hugged me and asked how I was doing, and after that I felt myself starting to freak a little, buuut then he asked which pose I wanted to do for our picture, and I said just a really cute hugging one. We did that  and he said “I was wondering all day which picture you wanted to do!”. Also, he was standing on his tippy toes HOW CUTE! Then, without me saying anything at all, he told me something that I can’t quite remember, but it was along the lines of that he is grateful every time he logs on to twitter and sees my replies, and maybe that he’s so happy that I am here…? I wish I could remember it better, but I was so touched and startled by this, I didn’t expect that at all, and lord knows I expect a billion things because my fantasy is thriving. I said I wanted to get a little heartfelt as well, and that the photographers would probably hate me for this (he laughed and put his hand on my arm briefly and said “they’ll kill you”), but that I appreciate him for making the decision to put himself out there, and that many people can be special and wonderful, so that’s not his big achievement, even though he is wonderful (“aww shush”), but yeah, that it is that decision I value a lot. He seemed almost bashful and hugged me again, and he told me he’d see me online after this, and I said for sure, and told him about a letter of a friend I’d had them put in a box for him, and we said goodbye.

On the video you can see that the photographers had already pushed the next girl ahead, so that she would step in my place, when I was still talking, and I am so annoyed at them ever since I noticed that. We are people who actually want to meet those people we’ve talked to online for ages, or just loved and admired, and their time schedule is more precious to them than that? It feels like they didn’t even try to appreciate how special those moments were, and that makes me angry. I was only there for just shortly under a minute, for fuck’s sake!

But, oh well, it is as it is. I am really happy Tyler took the time to talk to me, let me tell him something, and he seemed to listen attentively to everyone he met. It seems like a struggle for him as well though, when people are just being pushed in and out of his arms, basically…

Back to the meeting though. Aaaaah. That Tyler told me he’s grateful for me shook my world a little bit, and I’ll always hold that so, so close to my heart.

Apart from that his voice was way deeper than on camera, and for some reason while hugging him I had the thought that he’s so solid, idk what I was expecting, he’s not a ghost.

After the meeting we were still standing on the side, collecting ourselves (aka almost crying in each others arms), before we went away from the area. The three of us went to the large space before the Auditorium where we’d sat the day before already again, sat in the sun with the wifi, and downloaded our pictures and watched the videos and posted and were just insanely happy. I really needed that time to just try and process what had happened for a little while (even though I didn’t really succeed).

A panel “Race and Representation in the YouTube Community” had started while we were outside, and Josi went after a while, and a little later Lena and I went in as well. I didn’t listen all that much, I was still too focused on what I’d just experienced, and updating twitter and being emotional.

I did manage to hear them talk though about how they want people to just talk to each other, not always get angry and defensive immediately, and I value hearing that, because being more activist has been sometimes quite hard for me, as I am not really an aggressive person and activism often is aggressive in some form. Hearing this different perspective felt really good for me, like I can be activist in my own ways as well.

After the panel, Josi was going to another m&g, and I had a m&g for Ricky Dillon at the same time, that I was on the fence if I really wanted to go, but Josi and Lena made me queue for him anyways. When I got there though the line was huuuge, and while I really like Ricky as a person, I wouldn’t have wanted to be in line for that long, when I didn’t even really have anything to say to him. So what I did instead was sit a little with Josi in line, aaaand actually (sneaky sneak) manage to get my Ricky wristband off, and give it to Josi, so she could queue for him as well after the m&g she was just at. Vidcon doesn’t allow to trade m&g’s, not even before it starts, probably because it’s too chaotic to coordinate… but I found that so sad, because Ricky and Mamrie were people I like but didn’t desperately want to meet, and others would do anything for that experience and enjoy it way more, so why wouldn’t I give it to them? I was so happy I could give Josi the wristband, because to her Ricky does actually mean a lot.

So eventually I left the m&g area and went to the chillout area again, to try to write down what happened with meeting Tyler, because everyone wanted to know and I wanted to share but I needed to make it detailed. Eline, one girl we’d met on Saturday in the very first line, saw me there and said she wanted to go already to the main stage and save seats for the creator show at 19:30, and if she should save seats for us as well, which she did, which is super nice of her! Us three still wanted to check out the fan LGBTQIA+ meetup. We went there and the crowd was really big though, so we all kind of didn’t really want to stay there. It was around 18:20, and we went back to Eline and the main stage, got ourselves dinner and then just waited. The seats were filling really quickly and there was music playing, and at some point they turned it up and we all had so much fun just talking and dancing in our seats and the air was filled with so much excitement. At this point I was also often checking my notifications, trying to reply to people as much as possible, and then I saw sneaky Tyler liking some of my retweets (as well as my m&g pic before that, some time).

The creator show started eventually, we were all in SUCH a good mood, you could really tell it in the crowd. The show was really good as well, they had many fun things prepared, and despite everything the panels and everything else having a really chill vibe, this was a little more lively (but still not too much in any way).

During the show I kept checking my phone sometimes and suddenly Tyler tweeted a small collage of some people he met today and it was like 16 or 25 pictures, and two of them were my friends and one was me and two other girls I know where also there, and I and my friends freaked out a lot because kdsfmaskdfmaskdmk I LOVE HIM!

The show went on until 21:30 which felt actually really short, I was nowhere near as tired as the last day. But then, it ended, and everyone started leaving, and the hall was looking so empty already, and I became really emotional. We kept being near the stage and danced along to the music that was playing, the same piece that they’d always played before someone went on stage, and there were several groups of people just standing there dancing, not wanting the day to end.

At some point security came up to us and told us to leave, so we went to the toilets and wardrobe, and that’s where I started crying because it suddenly hit me that it all ended now, that tomorrow we wouldn’t come back, and it was all so sudden and the past days had been SO happy, that it was just all a bit too much.

Again, we were ushered away by security, so I continued crying outside. :P We were sat at the I-am-sterdam sign in front of the entrance doors, I was sat in the little hook of the t I think, and I was just watching the handful of people still standing there and talking, the happiness still all around in the air, and tears streaming down my face. It was a weird mixture of happiness and exhaustion and sadness, all mixed together, because … it was all SO great, so wonderful, and so much, for so long.

It was 22:15 or something like that when we eventually did leave for real. We all hugged goodbye, Josi and Lena and I and another girl we’d started talking to and dancing together. In the tram back I was still with Lena for a little while, and when we’d entered the tram a guy said he hoped we had a good Vidcon (he probably saw the badges around our necks), and a girl that had entered before us replied as well, so the three of us started talking about vidcon again, until I had to leave and hug Lena goodbye.

And then I was walking to my hotel, and then I was on my bed, crying again.

Wow, this is such an uplifting text! ;)

It was good though, it was really, really really good. A friend of mine let me vent a little online, and that helped, but it also helped just letting the emotions out.

I am still in a weird place where I am not sure if I am happy or sad or in some strange place in between.

I don’t have an ounce of doubt in my mind though that it was the best experience I EVER had. Traveling alone to Amsterdam, spending a whole day there exploring the city without a phone or a plan or anything at all, that was already so great that I often nearly cried. I had so much fun falling in love with this beautiful city.

And then, Vidcon, meeting all those lovely people that were my friends before or became friends or were just strangers that I shared lovely talks and experiences with. Seeing all those YouTubers I adore, hearing them talk in real life, on a stage just meters ahead of me, having them see me and react to me, or even talk to me and hug me. Meeting Tyler, someone I’ve loved for two years, and having him say that he is grateful for ME? Constantly being around so much positive energy, constantly being surrounded by so many lovely, lovely humans that share the same happiness that you are feeling. That was something incredibly special. I paid a lot of money for this trip (considering what I have), but I know that every cent was worth it, because that was the experience of a lifetime. I’ll never, ever forget what I had in those past couple of days. There’s a special place in my heart now that holds those memories.

I am so grateful <3